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theomnicode · 1 year

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Aight so, I've not posted this fanfic thingy all the way back from May because I don't often post unfinished WIP stuff that I've just type on discord but I'm feeling it might suddenly become relevant...

Saigenos in a nightmare

- soundscape -

Saitama stares blearily ahead as he rolls down his futon. Whole day of busting monsters would make anybody tired and even someone as strong as Saitama needed his sleep.

"Man I'm tired", he stretches his mouth open with a mighty yawn and throws away his hero clothes, switching to his pyjamas, "whole day of busting monsters, I am so ready to sleep."

Genos rolls down another futon next to his sensei and nods his head. "We definitely deserve our rest sensei, today was quite a busy day. I will wash our clothes in the morning." Silence greets him and he turns around and sees Saitama is already seemingly fast asleep and breathing evenly, completely tuckered out and awkwardly sprawled on his futon, hugging his pillow.

Genos huffs in amusement and settles down to sleep, muttering "good night sensei" and getting back half-asleep mumble of good night wish. Genos shuts his eyes and lets sleep mode take him into the realm of dreams.

Neither notices the ominous shadowy figure outside their window, cast in moonlight.

- soundscape -

-*-

Saitama's dream looks… very weird. Vibrant purple and black colours surround him, pulsing pustules with veins covering them and the entire view feels unsettling on a deeply subconscious level. Saitama realises he is dreaming and remembers something called lucid dreaming where the person becomes aware of their dream state. He had a lucid dream a bit ago against the ground moles- whatever were they called again- and ponders if he could actually have some fun fighting against somebody strong in his dream state. Yet his instincts are on high alerted state, so he remains cautious and looks around, attempting to pinpoint any potential threats.

He catches movement in his peripheral vision and immediately accosts the blurry shadow figure.

"Oi, are you here to conquer the surface as well, sewer dude? Bring it!" He shouts and claps his fist into his palm. The blurry figure suddenly sharpens in appearance and Saitama can make out it's actual features: molding, cancerous and pustule filled face, sharp and long knives in place of it's fingers and weirdly enough, brimmed hat.

"Wait, aren't you from that old american film? The uhm… "A night mark on Elmo" -something?" Saitama points excitedly.

"It's "A Nightmare on Elm street"", the figure scoffs, "and I am called Akumu, your worst ephialtes."

Saitama picks his ear. "The what now?"

The purple and crueler looking Freddy Krueger lookalike sighs. "It does not matter. I'm not here to wax philosophy, I am here to make a proposition."

"Couldn't you have waited till morning? I wanted to sleep at least 10 hours, I'm beat. Although this lucid dream is kinda cool…" Saitama makes a show of looking around awed, but the uneasy feeling in his gut does not fade away.

- soundscape -

Akumu does not look amused and clenches his fist, stretching his knife-fingers menacingly. "Don't play dumb with me, Saitama." Hearing his name coming out of the monster's mouth so casually makes chill creep down on his spine and he straightens his posture, narrowing his gaze.

"So what do you want? Spill the beans."

The monster's jaw breaks into a wide, cruel grin. "I want you to become a monster and join our cause, bring havoc into this world. With your strenght, we can bring the world to it's knees."

Saitama stares. "In your dreams."

"Heheheh…" the being laughs, unperturbed by Saitama's response. "Funny, that we are in fact, in my dreams. I control everything that happens in the dreamscape. Everything. For I am the Hypnos of Nightmares, everyone who dreams will bow down to my will." He raises his knife hand and points at Saitama. "You included. Your subconscious is my plaything now. And I can dig out your deepest, darkest secrets, hopes and fears. You will join us, one way or another."

Saitama grits his teeth. So much for peaceful slumber.

-*-

- soundscape -

Genos did not recall a time when his dreams used to be this… vivid. Psychedelic even. He frowns as he looks at the violet zone he's standing on, the unnatural formation of abscesses making him feel on edge. He remembers turning in and activating sleep mode like he normally does, and yet his internal status readouts indicate he is not resting. Red ERROR message flashes in his status monitoring screen. Something is very off and he intends to find out what.

'Lucid dreaming? Possibly, but inconclusive, my scanners would confirm a resting state of my body in that case', his logical mind started to tick down potential causes. 'A monster attack is also unlikely, my proximity sensors would've sensed an intruder and a monster would have tried to take advantage of our sleeping states and strike. However, Sensei would have woken up and eliminated the threat instantly, if that was the case.' His golden irises scan the environment fruitlessly, not detecting any anomalies. 'My status informs me my physical body is also unharmed. I wonder what is going on…'

A sudden alert from his sensors makes him instantly turn and ready his stance, pointing his incineration cannon at the source; a blurry figure materialises roughly twenty meters away from him. A memory strikes him as he takes in the humanoid form with grotesque face, dirty sweater and a knife-glove.

"Why do you look like the fictional mass murderer from a classic American horror film that me and sensei watched few weeks ago? What is your intent? Answer me or I will eliminate you", he demands from the mysterious character.

The uncanny humanoid huffs in amusement. "Heh, straight to the point as always, Genos." Then the monster's visage turns into an ugly sneer. "Or should I call you Gennosuke? Or maybe even that dear nickname Gen your mother used to call you by?"

If Genos still had an organic heart, it would have leaped to his throat and he barely suppresses a flinch, black schlera widening. "How do you know--"

"Your real name?" The monster interrupts him, finger-knives scratching against each other in sinister fashion. "I know everything, my dear Genos. You may call me Akumu, the governor of dreamscape and your worst nightmare. Why don't you amuse me for a little while?" He taunts and waves Genos towards.

Genos' expression turns into controlled anger. He refused to show anymore how much this monster's knowledge has shaken him. "I will squeeze the answers out of you then."

"You can try."

Bright, white-hot plasma erupts from Genos' mechanical palm. "Incinerate!"

Large explosions and gouts of flame burst from the spot where the figure was last seen standing and Genos sprints into action.

- soundscape - Monster theme

- soundscape - Genos theme

His motion sensors catch the monster's blurred movement jumping out of the explosion he had caused and Genos chases swiftly with a thruster propelled punch and when that move gets expectedly blocked, he uses that momentum to extend his leg into a spinning kick at the monster's head. He's unprepared for the figure completely vanishing from his vision, untrackable.

'That fast!? No, that was not speed, that was--' he barely manages to correct his landing when sharp knives thrust at his side and he deflects with his own retractable arm-blade, swinging upwards, metal grinding on metal loudly as he pushes his opponent away and rears his other hand into a punch, high voltage escaping his closed fist. Again, the figure disappears before his strike connects and he immediately probes the area for any organisms.

'This monster can teleport at will, so he could appear from anywhere. I need to be cautious.'

His quick reflexes save him as he ducks a swipe aimed at the back of his neck, intent on decapitating him. He answers with a rocket booster powered heel kick into the being's stomach and hearing a satisfying grunt of pain, powers up both of his arm cannons to lift from the ground into another spinning kick. He clicks his tongue in annoyance when he hits empty air. But this time he is ready for it, the cybernetic engine inside his chest already energized.

Genos' eyes suffuse into golden light. 'Accelerate'

His form disappears into supersonic speed with a loud boom, kicking up soft mould in his wake.

Less than a blink later, his metallic form clears into existence behind Akumu, who had attempted to flank and stab him in his previous position. He allows a small smirk grace his lips at the confused sound his opponent makes when he realised he had missed the target.

"I have analysed your attack pattern. You lose."

"Machine Gun Blow!"

Genos' fists seem to phase into multiple copies at the extreme velocity of his vicious punches, each hit compacting forcefully into the unguarded back of his enemy and sending him flying.

'I got him now', Genos thinks victoriously and with grim determination to finish it, crouches and claps his arms together to fuse them, opening metal plates into several large cannons glowing with heat, ready to fire.

"Incinerate!" He shouts as he shoots a massive, spiraling beam of plasma directly at his foe, encompassing them in it's deadly ray. A solid hit that should have evaporated the monster entirely and he observes the spectacle of ruined and burning landscape, unfusing his sizzling arm cannons and puffing excessive steam out of his mouth.

- soundscape -

A clapping sound on his left makes him gasp in disbelief and turn on his heel to face the gnarly monster. He appears entirely unhurt, even the brimmed brown hat he's wearing appears untouched. How-

"Bravo Genos, bravo. You sure like to put on a show eh?" Akumu comments derisively. Genos stares at him furiously and the clapping abruptly stops. He almost does not hear the following, soft whisper the Nightmare incarnation makes under his breath.

"My turn."

Genos' legs suddenly give out under him, severed from knees down.

'What?'

He grunts in surprised pain and falls on his side as Akumu teleports in front him, a pair of robotic shins in his hands. "Now what were you saying about me losing hm?" He tosses Genos' broken legs away like rags. "I don't think you scrutinized our conversations carefully enough, my dear Gennosuke. Forget something important when you fought me?" He jeers with a cruel tone.

Genos wracks his brain for anything significant he had missed, nervous at this new development. "You call yourself Akumu, the governor of dreamscape and self-proclaimed worst nightmare of mine." He delivers flatly and pulls his arm closer to support his upper-body weight.

"Good, now tell me what does that entail? Go on, use that remaining brain of yours", Akumu continues mockingly, tapping his head with a finger.

"…The governor of dreamscape…wait, you mean--"

This entire time, they had been inside a dream!? Everything felt so real. Too real. Even the brittle texture of the soil under his arms registered in his sensors, the energy output, pushback and heat of his Spiral Incineration Cannon felt too tangible. Genos had considered the possibility and discarded it, but now…if this monster implied it had full control over his dream…

The monster's face stretches into a wide smirk. "Welcome to your worst nightmare. Are you not entertained?"

Genos acutely wishes he hadn't gone to sleep at all.

Now my long thoughts about this and why I'm posting it now lol.

Literally Saitama in chapter 172.

Akumu does not look amused and clenches his fist, stretching his knife-fingers menacingly. "Don't play dumb with me, Saitama."

Literally Fubuki to Saitama in 176.

"So what do you want? Spill the beans."

Chapter 172 cover.

"Good, now tell me what does that entail? Go on, use that remaining brain of yours", Akumu continues mockingly, tapping his head with a finger.

I swear to god Genos getting literally halved in two with one side of the brain remaining hadn't even crossed my mind. Or maybe it had, subconsciously. But damn if this is not a prophetic level taunt. I wrote this originally in 11th of May 2022.

Now my random discord thoughts about this from discord.

yap edgy teen genos oh my god I hadnt even realised THEY SOUND PHONETICALLY VERY SIMILAR TOO abjdsladfs<;f I think my subconscious is more brilliant than I am I had only thought about the alphabetic letters in it omggg

gennosuke 元之丞元 means "origin."　之 means "this. dictates."　丞 means "to assist."

Akumu actually means nightmare in japanese and bunch of the monsters have japanese sounding names too "What does ephialtes mean in modern Greek? Name. After the betrayal of Ephialtes, the name "Ephialtes" received a lasting stigma; it came to mean "nightmare" in the Greek language and to symbolize the archetypal traitor in Greek culture." lol I didnt even see the symbolism, it fits even better now because he wants to make saitama essentially betray everyone for personal gain for monsters and for saitama's personal interests hm I did not really make the villain speech as I wanted cuz I wanted to express that he controls dreams so he can do whatever and that it also translates into real world but I also wanted him to laugh when saitama quips "in your dreams" because it would be funny to a villain who's specialty is dream control

do I want him to go all out and the monster just overwhelming him, or do I want him to have difficulty even using his moves because it's a dreamscape and there's this funny thing about dreams where person often feels resistance to like, moving around and so your body can feel like it's not obeying your commands inside dreams even if you want it to or do I just want the monster to subvert his control like genos can't do anything because the monster is all powerful inside a dream

genos has to struggle, because the point is that if he loses, he would die inside his dream and become brain-dead for going into coma and what the monster wants is either saitama's overwhelming desire to help genos would aid the monster in using his power to turn saitama into a monster because the monster wills it or if that does not happen, genos would lose and die and saitama's anger would also turn him into a monster and the reason this could even happen would be because it's a dreamscape so the monster can manipulate what happens inside uuhm hold on lemme think more..

but also, I want to make it so saitama feels powerless to help genos, because he's isolated from genos inside his own dream and the monster can just showcase him what is happening inside genos dream (actually hold on my original plan was that there is a forcefield that keeps him at bay but there is no fucking way saitama could just.. go into genos dream and help him) (I am confusing my own narrative here uuh) it would work better if saitama cant just punch his way into genos dream but it would also give him no real way to help genos I had also thought that if saitama exits his own dream, he would leave genos behind to die inside his dream, so he cant just bust out willy nilly the conclusive moment would've been that despite the monster being in control of dreams, that saitama's overwhelming willpower would overturn the dream in his favour so he could go and defeat the monster inside genos dream and then they could exit actually would it make sense that the monster just connected their dreams anyways, I wanted to make it so the monster has control, so saitama cannot just punch it to non-existence and even if he did, he would doom genos into coma because genos could not get out on his own and saitama's dream would end if he defeated the monster on his side of dream maybe the monsters's physical form is actually really weak, so the very moment they both wake up, saitama could def just punch the creep but the real question is: do I write that they can like, use their powers but it's just not working at all or do I write it so that they feel super nerfed inside their dreams and that's why they can't touch this monster

I think I actually got it, they do not have to defeat the monster inside their heads, it is enough that saitama gets to genos via their connected dreams because he has enough willpower to force them to awaken despite the monster influence meanwhile, genos does not have this unbending willpower and he would be stuck if he was left alone (muokattu) people awaken from bad dreams, but it's the monster who keeps them inside their dream against their will is it too lame way to conclude?

also I kinda worry what would be the implication of… saitama busting out the dream barrier between his and genos dream to get to him I know there are some documentations bout dream world irl about shared dreaming aren't they? where people dream about the same thing or appear in other people's dreams randomly actually hold up what does genos even wear to sleep because that would be his dream appearance saitama would have his pyjamas maybe I can make saitama try to take down the monster, but it's just not working well for him and at first he feels kind of thrilled because he's having fun time fighting like against the subterraneans, but then the monster reveals how he would force saitama turn into a monster and does that villain explanation trope about what would happen to poor genos if he just defeated him here or left and it would also reveal the connected dream and saitama realises that genos is dreaming too and he's also losing and whatever thrill he had turns into dread but also the problem is that… if they dont have enough power to defeat this monster singularily because the monster controls the dreams and therefore, all the actions they can do against him, then how could they defeat them even if they tag teamed since the point is that the monster is undefeatable inside their dreams

hm, maybe they could TRY to tag team first but then figure out that the monster is still in control and perhaps even exerting it's control over them more because it's getting desperate it's plan to turn saitama into a monster is not working becuse saitama can now protect genos from him so idk, maybe saitama gets this genious idea and he actually slaps genos awake and then himself

but honestly, I've already built this monster into being something that can look at person's subconscious and knows everything, so it knows what that person hopes and fears and their memories, so it knows what is important to saitama and tries to use that knowledge against him

and I want to convey saitama feeling like he's being cornered via this intimate knowledge of his self, that he does not have choice because he cannot one punch this monster out of existence in his dream and unless he allows the monster to turn him also into a monster and recruit him, he would lose genos if he does not comply and if he allows the monster to kill genos, the monster would use his emotional state to turn him into a monster anyway convey that it's a lose/lose situation for saitama

also I had just though about the baku idea and it would be funny that when they wake up and see the baku and saitama is like "…what are you?" and then genos in typical genos fashion, goes into explanation about mythological creatures and then saitama cuts him off and is like "yea yea but why does it look like a (whatsitcalled)" and then baku starts to whimper and grovel because it's actually a small cowardly monster who just tried to appeal cool and useful to the monster association and who had watched too many horror movies and saitama is not amused and yeets him into the pavement below because he doesn't want to clean up monster guts from his apartment at 4am but it would also just kind of make slight of the entire dream that happened and im not sure I want that

So...dream monster Freddy Krueger that uses subconscious against them. :D

#opm #one punch man #saitama #genos #saigenos #genosai #fanfiction #my own work #freddy krueger #nightmare #dream scenario #subconscious #soundscape #long #wip

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bewildered-ghost · 4 years

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She’s Pregnant

𝖪𝖤𝖨𝖳𝖧 𝖯𝖮𝖶𝖤𝖱𝖲: 𝖲𝖧𝖤’𝖲 𝖯𝖱𝖤𝖦𝖭𝖠𝖭𝖳!

—

3:15 in the morning, [y/n] was currently puking her guts out into the toilet. her best friends, kayla and dream were holding her hair up, and patting her back. they would’ve thought [y/n] gotten drunk before coming over for the sleepover but she wouldn’t be drunk and drive here, would she?

“what did you eat?” dream questioned as she peeled into the toilet then looked away using her free hand to cover her nose. “member we had chinese earlier? i didnt eat anything before or after that.” flushing the toilet, she moved to the sink, kayla handed her the toothbrush, and [y/n] brushed and freshened her breath with some mouthwash.

“maybe it was something in the food that made you sick?” kayla exited out of the bathroom with the two following her. “i eat that all of the time, i’ve never thrown up before. general t’so chicken is my shit, y’all know that.” she got onto the air mattress, and laid on her back. “did your period come?” dream blurted out. then [y/n] thought for a minute before leaping off of the air mattress. i was suppose to start almost three weeks ago, i lost track of time due to being all wrapped up with keith, my friends and his. i wasn’t feeling bad, or throwing up before.

“i was suppose to get it that week when we was in los angeles with keith.” she began to panick, pacing herself in this big room of dream’s. “don’t worry- we’ll just get pregnancy tests in the morning, and we’ll find out our answer.” kayla tried to calm [y/n], “yeah, she right. it’s late. we need to catch on some snooze.”

it’s been twenty minutes, dream and kayla were snoring their heads off, and i was staring out the window. me being pregnant could effect keith and what’s he doing. his career just started to take off, and i didn’t want me nor the baby to ruin his life. although he has to take part of this, he did nut in me.

i sighed as i rolled over onto my other side, and soon i was off into a deep slumber. hours later, i surprisingly woke up before kayla and dream. i checked my phone and i had mad missed calls, snapchats, text messages, and even instagram messages from keith. it was only 1:15PM, he could’ve just waited and not gone overboard.

sending him a quick text, i went to get myself ready, i lazily tossed all of my good hair into a messy bun. i managed to do something to my edges, i didn’t have a lot of energy to do anything. i was tired.

by the time i got out of the bathroom my best friends were up, picking out each other’s outfits. “hey, future baby mama.” kayla jokes. “hahaha.” i laid on her bed, just wanting to curl up into a ball or get my booty rubbed.

“keith big ass was calling you while you was in the bathroom. we told him you was entertaining another nigga.” dream lied, “dream!”

“i’m just playin, bitch. we told him you was eating and that we was finna go somewhere. then you know his big headed self started asking these questions and was trynna act like somebodies daddy.” they rolled their eyes playfully. “aww that’s my fat head.”

“yea, ya fat head baby daddy.” i went to mush her (dream) but she was already heading towards the bathroom.

“if it makes you feel better we’ll take one too.” kayla said, “uh uh bitch don’t involve me into dis.” dream sucked her teeth.

“dis our bitch dre, we gotta be there for each other.” kayla tried to preach. “we ain in church pastor kayla.” dream rolled her eyes. “but fine.” she groaned.

the trip to the store was pretty fast, we each grabbed a pregnant test, clear blue, in fact. “what y’all doing in this aisle?” elijah wondered, “um...” we were all eye wided. “we’re finna pull a prank on my momma and daddy.” i lied quickly, “with pregnancy test? sounds believable. record it for me?”

“for sure!” i forced a big smile, we waited until he was out of sight, rushing to the cashier, we paid and left.

stepping back into the house, we ran up to the bedroom, shutting it behind us as well. “okay, [y/n] you go first since you doing that stupid ass potty dance.”

“no wait, i want all of us to do it..” kayla said. “okay, kayla you take the second bathroom and i’ll take the one downstairs. we’ll text when we in the bathrooms aight?”

once the text messages were sent, they did their business, took the test and met back into the room. “i’m so fucking scream bro.” i paced myself, on the dresser mine was wrapped into toilet paper, one had a green mark which was dream’s and kayla’s was just regular.

as five minutes went by, we picked up the test, “on three?” dream looked at us. “one.” i started. “two.” dream said after. “three.” kayla said lastly.

flipping over the tests, i read mine.

pregnant.

“oh my fucki- dream, you pregnant?!” kayla kept looking from the test to dream. “what?” i snapped my eyes to the pregnancy test.

“this ain’t mine.” dream choked up, laying it back down. “yes it is.” kayla smirked obviously being pretty.

dream started crying, running her hand through her hair. “algee tore that ass up, and now he knocked you up, bitchhhhh.” kayla was getting excited, and her test came out negative. lucky bitch.

“wow, both my best friends pregnant. when did you and algee fuck?”

“that same fucking night as me and keith, that’s why y’all nasty asses didn’t want to come with us bowling!”

“yo ass ain’t go either!”

“whateva whateva!”

then her phone went off, we knew that ringtone was set for algee. “tickle me elmo is calling, you better be ready to tell him.” i patted her back. “and when i tell him, imma snitch and say you pregnant too, so he can tell keith.” dream smirked, and i immediately ran, not even ran i leaped towards the phone.

#keithpowers #algeesmith #elijahkelley #staronfox #lukejames #dreamdoll #imagines #pregnancy #yazzthegreatest #woodymcclain #instagram #wattpad

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duke-duke-the-cuc · 2 years

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The Rock: Part Two: Sexy Elmo

(read part one here)

----

A few seconds of shocked silence pass as they all process the situation.

“So...what even happened?” Leila asks, looking at John Mulaney, “Like, why were you evil?”

“Well I had just parked my car and was walking to a show in New York when I passed a strip club,” John explains, “Usually I don’t look inside, because, you know, I have a wife and I love her very much. But something in the window caught my eye, and it looked to be a sexy Elmo pole dancing. And I couldn’t pass that up. So I went inside, and once I really got a good look at that Elmo, I just couldn’t look away. Before I knew it I was back in college - high off my ass and tied to a chair in a dark room. Sexy Elmo and a giant sentient tomato were chanting around a circle of candles and pentagram drawn on the floor. That’s the last thing I remember.”

“Wait…” Claire says, “a sexy Elmo and a sentient tomato were doing witchcraft and I wasn’t invited?”

Leila rolls her eyes, “Claire, that’s not the point.”

“The point is: now you have proven yourselves, you must find the sexy Elmo and sentient tomato and put a stop to their evil,” The Rock says. He turns to Tony, Harry, Duke Duke, and Cleo, “You all have prepared them well, but this quest is one Leila and Claire must take alone.”

Claire glances at each of them, “Aight, guess this is goodbye then.”

The Rock allows Leila and Claire to take John Mulaney with them, and they say their goodbyes. They immediately head to the airport to fly to New York. Claire uses her newfound mind-control powers to get them a free flight.

The whole time they’re travelling they have to listen to John talk about his wife and complain about how upset she must be at his disappearance.

FInally, Leila can’t take it anymore, “Oh my god, shut up. We’ll go see your wife as soon as we land.”

John opens his mouth to respond, but then obviously decides against it and shuts himself up.

When they land, Claire mind-controls them a free cab to John Mulaney’s house. Pulling up to his house, they see two cars in his driveway. It’s dark and they assume the other car is John’s. However, when they go inside they find John Mulaney’s wife and Timothee Chalamet making out on the couch.

John stares for a second, then quickly leaves the house, obviously upset. Leila and Claire slowly back out of the room. Leila immediately goes to comfort John, while Claire pulls out her phone to call Cleo with the tea.

“Are you doing okay?” Leila asks, genuinely concerned.

“I just can’t believe she did it...she always jokes about it but I never thought she’d do it,” John says, crying. Leila hugs John while he cries on her shoulder.

They sit like that for a little while, until John finally pulls himself together and they get back on the road to the strip club where sexy Elmo was spotted.

On the way they devise a plan. When they arrive at the club, they request a private dance from sexy Elmo.

Elmo walks in and Foreigner immediately starts playing in the background as he begins to dance. Then he recognizes who his audience is and tilts his head in confusion, though still dancing, “John, what are you doing here? You were supposed to meet us at the lair with Tony Stark and Harry Styles, not here with these teenage girls.”

“These girls are Tony and Harry. They have shapeshifting powers we were unprepared for,” John lies smoothly, “They also have some mind powers and were able to erase my memory of where the lair was before I captured them.”

“Oh, alright, I’ll take you there,” Elmo says easily. He stops dancing and leads them outside and down the street to an abandoned Chuck E. Cheese. Then he flings open the doors and announces, “Babe! John’s back with the hostages!”

Moments later, a giant tomato bounces into the room. He looks John, Leila, and Claire over, then looks at Elmo, “Babe, those are not Tony and Harry.”

“Yes they are, they’re shapeshifters,” Elmo says.

“Yeah, I’m Tony,” Leila and Claire accidentally say at the same time.

“Wait, I thought I was Tony,” Claire says.

“Oh shit, you’re right. I was Harry,” Leila realizes.

John rolls his eyes, “Actually, you’re both idiots.”

The tomato glares at Elmo, then starts chanting in a different language. John, Leila, and Claire are suddenly transported into a dark cell, staring at dead animatronics, separated from them only by bars.

Instead of continuing to stare at the animatronics, they decide to look around the cell. Sitting in the corner, is another person. Claire recognizes her immediately, “Guys...that’s Wonder Woman,” she says. Then, overwhelmed by this, she promptly passes out.

Wonder Woman glances at Claire, “Is she okay?”

“Yeah, she just does that,” Leila says, “She’ll wake up in a second.”

“So...why are you here?” John asks.

“I was trying to put a stop to Bob and Elmo’s evil plans, but my skills were useless against their witchcraft,” Wonder Woman explains.

At that moment, the tomato appears outside the cell, “You were talking about me?”

“Yeah we were talking about you,” John says, “What are you up to?”

“Y’all are in for a treat,” Bob says evilly, “Poof!” And then he disappears again.

“Um, what was that?” Leila asks. Then she looks at John and is suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to pull a Debby Ryan. She gives into it. “Are we about to kiss?”

John just looks at her for a second, then nods, “Yeah.”

Claire wakes up then to see Leila and John making out. “Not again,” she groans. She hears Leila’s thoughts too and adds, “Ugh, what? I thought Duke Duke was your soulmate.”

Leila and John are too busy to even respond, so Claire turns to Wonder Woman, having to force herself not to pass out again, “Uh, hi.”

We should do what they’re doing, Wonder Woman thinks, and Claire hears it.

“Yeah, we should,” Claire says.

“What?”

“I read your mind. Let’s do it.” So Claire and Wonder Woman start kissing too.

Little do they know that Cleo and Duke Duke had been magically summoned by Bob and Elmo to the abandoned Chuck E. Cheese and were now watching their lovers make out with other people.

Angered, Duke Duke runs away.

“This isn’t real,” Cleo insists, “Claire would never.”

“See for yourself,” Bob says. He leads her down to the cell.

Cleo stares in shock for a moment, then exclaims, “Claire! What the hell? I thought we were in love!”

Wonder Woman and Claire pull away from each other. Claire looks at Cleo, embarrassed, “We are! It’s just...I don’t know...I mean...It’s Wonder Woman!”

“You do have a point, but it’s still cheating!” Cleo says.

“I’m sorry…” Claire mutters.

“Ugh, whatever,” Cleo says. Then she rounds on John and Leila, “You know Duke Duke saw you guys too.”

“Oh shit!” Leila pushes John away, “Where is he?”

“Well obviously he was upset and betrayed, so he ran away,” Cleo tells her.

Meanwhile, Duke Duke is sitting on the street corner between the Chuck E. Cheese and the strip club, singing a mournful song:

My girlfriend cheated on me. How could this be?

Is it because I’m a cucumber, not a human being?

I thought that we were meant to be

I thought we’d be together for eternity

I thought she loved me just the way I am

But it turns out she wants to be with a real man

Bob hears this song and comes out to present Duke Duke with an offer, “It’s sad, huh? Aren’t you tired of being weak and powerless? Come back and join me again, Larry, and she’ll never be able to resist your power.”

Duke Duke sniffles and wipes his tears, “Alright.”

TO BE CONTINUED...

#veggie tales #harry styles #tony stark #crack fic #wonder woman #john mulaney #cleo sertori #bob the tomato #larry the cucumber #elmo #sexy elmo #chuck e cheese

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survivor-socotra · 6 years

Text

RITES OF PASSAGE || PRE-MERGE

Bodhi

My game could best be summarized by the Shakespeare quote

"Therefore I tell my sorrows to the stones; Who, though they cannot answer my distress, Yet in some sort they are better than the tribunes, For that they will not intercept my tale: When I do weep, they humbly at my feet Receive my tears and seem to weep with me; And, were they but attired in grave weeds, Rome could afford no tribune like to these."

Perhaps I shouldn't have trusted Chris Stoner.

Connor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nX4vzKH4les

Katie

“How much did you pay for that taco?" Aight yo you know this boys got his free tacoo"

Zach

u deserved this.

Ryan

I wish I had gotten my idol sooner so I could have given it to you. Losing you so early in this game made a huge impact and it made everyone realize that if you weren’t playing from Day 1 you were gonna be screwed. I still can’t believe you voted for Isaac to win Unfinished Business.

Stoner

It was short lived but fun. #ChaosChris caused some mayhem early on. Long live Great Lakes!

Connor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K44j-sb1SRY

Katie

"CHRIS! Is that a weed? "No this is a crayon-" I'm calling the police" puts 911 into microwave "911 what's your emergency"

Zach

ur great!! i’m sorry you had to be the vote that round. you are such a friendly person and i’m sure you would’ve taken this game by storm.

Ryan

Sorry we didn’t get to work together. You were one of Katie’s favorites and causing chaos is like...one of my favorite qualities in a person. So rip you.

Dana

Connor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_8rzIL9gW0

Katie

"WHAT ARE THOSEEEEE?" "THEY are my crocs!"

Zach

AKSGLDSGDS my meme sister robbed . love u.

Ryan

Thank god you got voted out early. I would have needed therapy if I had to play this game against you.

Isaac

youtube

Connor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3RB_56WziA

Katie

running "...Daddy?" "Do I look like-?"

Zach

what your tribe did was fucked up. im sorry, you deserved better x love u

Ryan

Sorry. Can’t write anything from my senior home. Get off my lawn fucker.

Kylie

I may have got hit by a car but at least I still have my dignity

Connor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whwe0KD_rGw

Katie

Um, excuse me, are you Kylie Jenner? Oh… never mind.

Zach

robbed queen oh my god. i’m so sorry you got twisted out of this game. i hope alls well in your life x

Ryan

Sorry for voting you out after that car accident. Hope you’re ok.

Adam

the Elmo slide t he Elmo slide everybody now

Connor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OHEB41yRdU

Katie

Blowing vape on table cameraman blows it away "ADAM"

Zach

AJSGKDSGL you were so funny the last day or two when we talked… we even had a f3 ): jessica has told me so many stories abt u and i wish i could’ve gotten the chance to play with u more!!

Ryan

Haha. Sucks.

Elena

honestly i don’t even remember playing

Connor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5e-ITR9d9PA

Katie

Zach stop...Zach stop...You're gonna get in trouble. Zach

Zach

you were robbed. i hope u and ur cat, and ur snakes of course, are doing great and enjoying life!!

Ryan

Snake lady! I really wish we actually got to play together. That would have actually been fun instead of dealing with all these men.

Trace

This game was definitely one of the most fun ones I’ve played in even though I was sent home earlier than I would’ve liked. I met some cool new people, caused some chaos, and got to watch my babies do so so well! To those of you who wronged me: choke!

Connor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A55XMnXHDdY

Katie

Hi my name's Trey, I have a basketball game tomorrow. Well I'm a point guard, I got shoe game...

Zach

we barely talked but i love ur legends of zelda tattoo (this is a joke btw AJSGKDSL). you were nice, im sorry u were elimmed too soon!!

Ryan

Icon.

Isaiah

I had a very fun time playing this, got swap fucked but this was truly an all-star cast!

Connor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feA64wXhbjo

Katie

All I wanna tell you is school's not important... Be whatever you wanna be. If you wanna be a dog...RUFF. You know?

Zach

we had our differences a lil but that was probs just miscommunication. you were so friendly to talk to and i rlly do like u as a person. wishin u the best in life x

Ryan

Honestly what a king. The creator of the Tonga/HVV/Augusto alliance. That alliance would have fucking dominated and I’m so sad it didn't end up working out the way we wanted it to. You’re such a genuine dude and I am glad we got at least to play a little together.

Sid

Connor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cwkej79U3ek

Katie

Hurricane Katrina? More like Hurricane Tortilla.

Zach

ur crazy but i like u. thank u for being a wise person n quoting sandra… respect.

Ryan

What a fucing king. You leaving left a big whole in the season for dominant players.

Grace

So obviously things did not go as planned. Regardless I had a great time this season, and can’t wait to see the outcome!

Connor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6SXwQwYlik

Katie

"Road work ahead? Uh Yea, I sure hope it does"

Zach

you were sooo nice i’m sad we weren’t able to play this game more hand in hand with one another. hope life is treatin ya well.

Ryan

Dr. Ramona. It was nice reconnecting after all these years.

Tom

RTP YOURE GROSS, KATIE YOURE A BITCH, CONNOR YOU FLOP AND ZACH YOU'RE LAME ! BOOO YALLL

Connor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psuRGfAaju4

Katie

"Say Coloradoo" "I'M A GIRAFFE!!"

Zach

ok what i did was fucked up but i felt like i had no option. it was between you or devon, and i felt like devon was more useful moving forward. you are such a fun person and i genuinely do love you and i hope you don’t hate me forever, ketchupman. you are such a phenomenal player, and i enjoyed playing with u sooo much (tho ur a wee bit crazy aJSGKDSG).

Ryan

Fuck you ketchup man. But honestly playing with you was so much fun. If you weren’t all over Devon’s dick we really could have worked together for so much loner. I really went to bat for you when you left but by leaking everything I just couldn’t trust you. But I both love and hate you.

#fearkeepsyousharp

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