#aka 5 fucking months of 6 day workweeks. these past few months almost every shift has been 9+ hours no breaks

[viverridae]

#time to SadPost™️ in the tags again #cw for d3pression and suic1dal ideat1on and all the stuff #looked at job listings bc i’m. starting to hate my job. #bc i can’t do enough to keep up and even though i’ve been doing my best #aka 5 fucking months of 6 day workweeks. these past few months almost every shift has been 9+ hours no breaks #but i’m not enough. i can’t keep up. #the senior baker that quit 5 months ago WAS able to keep up. and all the expectations to fill her role have fallen to me #but i’m not her. i can barely do half the work that she did #and i was thinking it was just that my workplace was the problem #but when i went looking for job listings. they ALL sound like too much #and i just #idk. #i think. getting this job was a mistake #i think if i’d just stayed where i was. in that filthy place with that filthy man #i could have been brave enough to have k1lled myself by now #but i didn’t. i got the job. i moved. and now i have like. more things worth living for #and it doesn’t feel good. #i wish i had nothing tying me here. i wish i didn’t have hope or determination or pride #i wish i could just fucking do it #anyway. yeah you could say the job isn’t going great #but whatever. 6 months from now i’m going part time #and in august i’m taking two weeks off #usually the bakers just figure that out between us and we don’t need to put in a request for Official time off but #it doesn’t look like my boss is really trying to hire another baker even though we desperately need one #and when august comes. if it’s still only the 3 of us. they won’t let me take that time off #bc that’s too much work for them. i know this #and i don’t care. i’m going to fill out the official time off request form #so that when it’s approved. it’s in writing. and no one can accuse me of not giving them fair warning #bc i told them abt it months ago #anyway. anyway. all i have to do is keep going