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padfootagain · 3 months

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When We Were Lying

Hi! Here is another Hozier fic! Had a lot of fun with this trope, as always, I hope you’ll like this little story! Tell me what you think!

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Pairing: Hozier x reader

Warnings: none… a bit of strong language and an awful lot of longing? Fake-dating AU

Summary: Your ex is attending your family gathering for Christmas and there is no way you're going to face that alone. Of course, you drag your best friend into this, and he's too smitten with you to say no when you ask him to pretend to be your boyfriend. Although, the fact that you both have feelings for each other might end up being a problem...

Word Count: 10055

Hozier’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist

“Sorry… what?!”

Andrew was blinking at you. There was something unnerving in his frown and the intensity of his stare, but you had to bear it. After all, you had no other choice.

“You’re the only one I can ask to do this with me…”

“I’m absolutely not doing that!”

“Why not?”

“Why not?! Why not?! Do I really have to answer that question or have you found back your sanity?”

“Andrew…”

“I am not going to lie to your entire family at Christmas just to save your stupid arse!”

“But I said ‘please’…”

“Y/N!”

“Andrew!”

“This is a terrible idea! I’m not doing that!”

He stared at you as if you had lost your mind, and in all fairness, perhaps you had… for a part at least. Why else would you be sitting in your best friend’s comfortable sofa, in the middle of his large and yet welcoming living room, asking him to lie to your family and pretend that you were together? Only for a day though, just for the traditional meal on Christmas, the boring and tedious lunch on the 25th where you exchanged gifts and stabbing remarks with your least favourite members of your family.

Not that you were not used to face this tragedy on your own; if your arse of an uncle had been the only obstacle to overcome this year, you would have emerged with flying colours. But this year was different. It was different, because your cousin Samantha was coming with her boyfriend… aka your ex-boyfriend. The one she had slept with ten months ago. The one who had betrayed you and broken your silly heart. The one you wished you could put laxatives into his drinks, or pierce his tires, or put some very strong pepper into his tea… Something Machiavellian like that…

But as your chances of poisoning his food at the Christmas lunch were limited, you had to settle for plan B. Which was simple enough: convince your best friend to pretend to be madly in love with you, so you would not have to bear any comments from your family about your broken heart and the fact that you had been cheated on by your fucking cousin Samantha… and perhaps, with a bit of luck, you could also make your ex, Craig, jealous.

A brilliant plan, if there was ever any. Only, Andrew didn’t seem to share your optimism.

“You’ve lost it, this time,” he went on, eyes wide, aghast as he slowly shook his head.

You couldn’t blame him for thinking this. Especially given the fact that your feelings for him would probably end up being a problem. But despite your silly little crush on him… who else could you ask such a favour to? The two of you had known each other for years. He was your best friend, you were ready to do anything for him. No one else would accept…

“Andy… I know I’m asking a lot…”

“This will never work. Beyond the fact that this is pure madness, it will never work! Your parents know me! They know we’re not together!”

“Friends get together all the time!”

“No one will believe us. And you know me, I hate… PDA and stuff like that… I can’t… even when it’s real, I struggle with that stuff. I can’t fake it.”

“On the contrary, that’s great! Cause then, we don’t have to act too much like we’re together, and we can just blame it on your well-known aversion for PDA!”

“No. I’m sorry, Y/N, but this time… it’s a no. I’m not doing that. I’m not playing fake-boyfriend for you.”

You heaved a defeated sigh.

“And I thought you would kill for me.”

“I’m a pacifist… a punch across the jaw is the best I can do.”

“Lousy friend.”

“Fuck off! You think you asking me to lie to your entire family is better? Just so you won’t have to hear them complaining about you being single? You think that’s not worse?”

You saw the way his expression saddened when yours did, when the tinge of playfulness left your features. His voice was softer when he spoke again.

“Why is it so unbearable anyway, huh? You’ve forgotten how my mother can be? I’ve got that refrain sang to me all the time too. It’s not so bad.”

You bit on your lip and lowered your gaze before answering, holding back tears that came blurring your vision of Andrew’s soft carpet.

“Craig and Sam will be there. Together.”

You didn’t need to look up at him to know he was clenching his jaw.

“I don’t… I don’t want to have to face that on my own. I’m not sure I can…”

You barely had time to brush a tear away that Andrew was holding you close, arms wrapped tightly around your frame. And you let him pull you even closer, until your ear was pressed against his heart, until he could drop a tender kiss to the top of your head. He heaved a sigh.

“Could you still come? As a friend?” you asked, voice trembling even if you didn’t want it to.

You hated being like this. Fragile. Crying. Not over the betrayal. You wanted to wave a perfect life at your ex so he would see all that he was missing, until he regretted everything. It was petty, but true. Instead, you would be the one sitting in an uncomfortable chair in a couple of weeks, trying not to throw up nor cry while you witnessed your ex and your cousin playing perfect couple…

Andrew heaved a painful sigh.

“I’ll come.”

“Thank you.”

“No, I mean… I’ll do it. The whole crazy plan. I’ll do it. I’ll be your boyfriend for the day.”

You pulled away just enough to look up at him. There were traces of annoyance in his gaze, but a lot of tenderness too as his eyes met yours, hazel irises turning greener in the quiet light of a late afternoon.

“Really?” you asked, voice shy even though you craved for confidence.

“Really. But you’d better make sure that your mother still loves me when you break it to her that we’re not together anymore! I’m not giving up on her amazing lasagnas, not even for you.”

“I have the recipe, you know?”

“Your mother’s taste better.”

“Fucker!”

“Don’t insult me, or I’ll take everything back and let you deal with this bunch of assholes on your own!”

“Sorry!” you quipped, hiding your face into his chest again, and you heard him mumbling some complaints, playing grumpy, but you knew better.

You were smiling as you listened to his low voice lulling you back into a soothed state. You wondered how he did that. How a mere hug and some whispering were all it took to calm you down, to make you feel safe all over again, when you were so damn insecure all the time.

You lost track of your own thoughts when his large hand came to rest on the back of your head, keeping you close.

And you were glad that you could explain a lack of PDA in front of your family, because there was no way for you to survive a whole day with the man you secretly loved holding you like that…

“Do you hate me? For being selfish and dragging you into this?” you asked him, voice muffled by his woollen jumper.

“No,” he shook his head. “No, I don’t hate you. I could never hate you.”

“Even if I called you to get rid of a body with me?”

“Erm… As long as I’m not the one cutting it into pieces.”

You both let out a chuckle.

“I’ll make sure to stain your carpet with the blood of my victims.”

“Now, that would make me hate you, for sure.”

“I knew you’d choose your carpet over me.”

“Yeah, but what a carpet it is!”

“It doesn’t make you lasagna though…”

“I only like your mam’s.”

You smiled, but remained quiet. You were serious again when your voice broke the comfortable silence that had settled over your two entwined frames.

“Seriously, though… I’m sorry I’m asking you this. I just… I just don’t see what else I can do. I don’t think I can stomach seeing the two of them as a happy couple while I’m still… desperately single. A real loser…”

“Stop talking about yourself like that,” he admonished, voice genuinely annoyed. “I hate it when you do that. You’re… you’re amazing, Y/N. More than you realise. And Craig and Samantha are terrible people. So… stop blaming it all on yourself. They can rot in hell.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in heaven and hell.”

“You know what I mean.”

A pause while you smiled, wool tickling your cheek.

“Thank you.”

He rubbed your back, gesture soft, taking his time.

“Don’t mention it.”

“You owe me so much…”

“I thought you said ‘don’t mention it!’”

“Don’t mention it, my arse…”

You laughed at him, you couldn’t help it. As Andrew and you walked together down the lane leading to your parents’ house, you couldn’t refrain your laughter. Andrew looked nervous… like the day he had met your parents for the first time, years ago.

“Stop acting like they don’t know you. My family adores you.”

“That’s until they learn I’m lying through my teeth.”

“You’re an infamous liar, anyway.”

“Hey!”

He faked outrage, making you laugh even more, and this time, he couldn’t refrain his own smile.

“I can’t believe you’ve convinced me to do this…”

“Me neither. You must have lost your mind, too.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but thought better of it, and sealed his lips again. There was something almost sad on his features for a second, and you wanted to ask if he was alright, but you were already in front of the green door.

“You ready?” he asked instead, an encouraging smile adorning his handsome features now, the cold of December making his cheeks and nose redden.

And you had to struggle through missing heartbeats to nod your head. He looked lovely like this, hair in a half-bun, some curls still free, hair tied only to keep the strands away from his face. He was wearing the grey beanie you adored, chin buried in a huge matching scarf…

“We’ll be fine,” he reassured you, all traces of playfulness or annoyance gone from his warm voice.

“Let’s make Craig so jealous he’ll choke over some pudding.”

You both chuckled, and Andrew nodded, lovely crinkles forming at the corner of his eyes as he kept on smiling.

“Sounds like a plan.”

You took a deep breath before knocking.

There was no turning back.

You glimpsed at Andrew one more time as you waited for your mother to come and open the door, and you thought it truly was the worst idea you had ever had, to ask Andrew to do this… Andrew, of all people. If he was the only choice, he also was the worst one. You simply hoped you wouldn’t have to fake too much… because your heart sped up at the mere thought of holding his hand…

What an idiot you were, getting yourself into so much trouble… at what point had you imagined it was a good idea to ask the man you secretly loved to be your fake boyfriend?!

Your thoughts were interrupted though, as your mother finally appeared. You grinned at her as she hurried to give you a hug.

Andrew had barely closed the door behind him that he was receiving a warm hug as well.

“Ha! Andy!” your mother welcomed him, making him laugh. “It’s so good to see you, it’s been too long.”

“It has indeed…”

“And finally! You two came to your senses!”

You frowned, but didn’t have time to ask your mother what she meant. Instead, you were pulled into the whirlwind that was your family.

Andrew remained close to you, and you were not surprised. There were plenty of people gathered in the large living room, several generations together in the warmth of your childhood home, and Andrew wasn’t too good with dealing with so many people. When you turned to him to offer him a gentle smile, one he immediately offered as well, he seemed a little uncomfortable, hands in his pockets as if he didn’t know what to make of his long limbs, head slightly bent, as to appear less tall than he truly was, a desperate attempt at hiding. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight, such a stark contrast with the confident musician he was each time he stepped on a stage.

You introduced him to the members of your family he didn’t know (including your terrible uncle, who didn’t fail to be rude, hence living up to his reputation). And everything was going fine, except perhaps for the uncontrollable burst that sparked through your heart and chest every time you called Andrew your boyfriend. You pushed to the side the longing that washed over you at the thought that you wished the word could be true…

But it wasn’t the right time for such consideration. After years spent as Andrew’s friend while harbouring feelings for him, you had grown amazingly talented at hiding the love that coursed through each of your cells every time you saw him, or heard him, or thought of him…

But that was not the right time for such thoughts. Indeed, a new couple was just entering the room…

… and suddenly everyone was quiet.

Samantha and Craig seemed to not notice the sudden silence, or else they were simply very good at hiding it. You couldn’t control your expression as you winced, turning towards the window.

But you were surprised by Andrew’s touch, as he reached for your hand. Fingers shy at first, barely the ghost of a caress across your knuckles. When you leaned closer, fingers searching for his too, he intertwined them together, and as you turned to him, he gave you the warmest smile. A silent gesture to tell you it would be okay.

You were even more surprised when he pulled you closer, a gentle tug at your joined hands. You had discussed, before coming to your parents’ house, the boundaries you needed to respect for today. Holding hands was okay. Touching arms, hair or a waist was okay. You had not discussed kissing, but you reckoned that it was a clear no. An arm around the other’s shoulders or back was good too.

But now, Andrew was pulling you gently closer until you were settled against his chest, and he bent to softly kiss your hair, lips lingering on the top of your head for several seconds. The gesture was so tender, you had to close your eyes…

And then his lips were gone, leaving behind the quiet sound of a kiss and their warmth. When you opened your eyes again and looked up at him, Andrew was blushing, but he was smiling too. And there was something in the way he was looking at you…

“Y/N! How good to see you!”

You turned towards Samantha, hence interrupting your train of thoughts, perhaps for the better.

You forced a polite smile, but didn’t go as far as to completely hide that you weren’t happy to see her.

“Sam! How are you?”

“Good! I’m good! What about you?”

She only then seemed to notice Andrew’s presence by your side, an impressive performance, given his height and the fact that you were still leaning into his chest…

“Oh, hi! Hmmm… Andrew, is it? I remember you! You’re Y/N’s friend!”

“Boyfriend now, actually,” you corrected her, and you were amused by the look of surprise on her face.

“Oh! Congratulations! Good for you!”

Around the room, conversations had started again, filling up space once more and giving you at least some privacy… although you knew it to be but a relative truth. Your relatives who stood closer to you were probably listening closely, unwilling to lose any crumb of the conversation and drama that might ensue.

Behind Samantha, Craig finally greeted you, more uncomfortable than his girlfriend was. He grew even more uncomfortable when he offered his open hand to Andrew.

“Good to see you again, Andy.”

You hated that Andrew had to let go of your hand to shake Craig’s, but his fingers found yours again as soon as the greeting was over. It was rare to see Andrew with a clearly forced smile on his face, he was generally better at hiding his discomfort, a habit of always being polite.

“Craig,” followed by a nod was the only greeting Andrew gave your ex, and you recognised protectiveness in the way he moved slightly closer to you, placing himself between you and Craig.

And you felt a little guilty for the sense of pride that you got from that gesture, knowing you shouldn’t be reading anything even remotely romantic into it… but then again, you were but human. And humans always liked dreaming…

“How are you two doing?” Craig asked, and you nodded.

“Good, we’re both doing good. You?”

“Oh, we’re great! We’re planning on going for a trip for our anniversary, don’t we, dear?” Samantha went on, turning to her boyfriend, who merely nodded… rightly uncomfortable.

“Amazing!” you managed to get out between gritted teeth.

“And for how long have you two been together, then?” Craig asked, changing the subject quickly.

“A couple of months,” you answered, a detail you and Andrew had agreed on.

“So, it’s still the honeymoon phase, then,” Sam nodded knowingly, although you weren’t sure what kind of knowledge that was…

“It’s pretty new,” you nodded.

“How lovely! But… I thought the two of you were friends,” she went on, acting confused.

“We were,” you confirmed, and when you struggled to continue, it was Andrew’s turn to step in.

“And now we’re more than that.”

The two of you exchanged a smile, and again, you noticed the way he was blushing.

Craig nodded his head, and you saw how he was frowning, the kind of expression he wore when he was upset over something.

“It’s funny that you were friends for so long and then all of a sudden… you decide to be more,” he spoke with a tinge of venom in a tone he tried to turn honeyed.

You looked for an excuse, but Andrew was the one to answer again. And you were taken aback by his words… and even more so by how earnest they sounded, although… although he could only be lying.

“We… we’ve spent a long time tiptoeing around that line. I think… we’ve had feelings for a while for each other. I guess we were simply afraid to lose everything we already had if we gave this a try.”

“And what decided you to give this a try, then?”

“I don’t know. Some courage, I guess.”

“Or an opportunity,” Craig proposed, making you frown. There was an insinuation behind his tone, and you didn’t quite know what to do of it.

Andrew seemed to understand better, judging by the way he clenched his jaw, slightly tightened his hold on your hand. He remained quiet though, refusing to rise to Craig’s challenge.

“These things can take time, you know?” you added, trying to pull the conversation away from the glares Andrew and Craig seemed keen to throw each other, a silent battle of thunder and storms. “Where are you planning that trip of yours?”

It was too easy to centre the conversation back onto Samantha, nothing surpriseing, though, considering her character…

Lucky for you, you were soon called by your mother to help in the kitchen.

Or actually, it was but a limited reprieve you were granted. It took your mother only a couple of minutes to bombard you with questions, while she made you cut some carrots, sunlight streaming on your hands from the window set above the sink as you worked. It enlightened the orange stains that slowly grew across your fingers while you dodged your mother’s queries, struggling to remain calm while lying. You thought you would be better at it, but as you peeled the vegetables, their forms made slippery in your hands, you were losing your footing, feeling increasingly guilty as the lies passed your lips again and again.

A first date in a quiet restaurant.

A piece of carrot thrown in the sink.

A first kiss in front of your door, as a tender goodbye, one that lingered in reluctance to part.

A blade slipping too fast.

No, you were not planning ahead for now, just taking things as they went, as they formed.

No, there was no words of love yet, don’t be ridiculous! It’s only the beginning…

“The beginning!” Your mother scoffed, throwing a potato in the sink, alongside your colourful pieces. “The man has been looking at you like you’ve hung the moon and stars for years! You’ve been stealing glances for so long… I don’t even remember when it started! It’s not the beginning, dear. The two of you have been in love for years. It is only a logical continuation.”

She frowned as she looked at you, finally lifting her gaze from the brown pile of peels.

“You’re okay?”

You were startled by her question.

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

“I don’t know… you seem… almost sad.”

You couldn’t hold her stare, and you fought every bit of instinct in you to avoid recoiling from her touch as your mother, in a sweet gesture, rested her hand on your shoulder.

“Don’t worry yourself over Craig and Samantha. And before you ask, I wasn’t the one who invited them.”

You nodded, as if you were reassured, as if she was right about the cause of your worry, had aimed straight at the knot of your problems.

She hadn’t. And you were perplexed as you realized this too. Because you had thought that seeing your ex and your cousin together would be unbearable, and it was, indeed, a painful sight. But it was hurting your pride more than your heart, a sting at your ego rather than a tear at your soul.

Instead, the images you summoned in a fake reality with Andrew were the ones destroying you. Because these details, these anecdotes, these stories you made up for your mother were ones you genuinely longed for.

A quiet date in a restaurant you loved. A kiss bathed in streetlights. Hands holding that didn’t want to let go…

This was a terrible idea. A terrible… terrible idea…

“Andrew! Come here, lad! Give us a hand with these, would you?”

You felt his presence by your side before his hand appeared in your vision, reaching for a vegetable, getting to work without any protest or arguing. He would lose anyway, against your mother, and he knew it.

You chatted together for a while, conversation smooth and easy, as always with him around. You almost forgot that all of this was fake when Andrew leaned closer, as if he longed for your nearness. You reached for him before you could think, leaning closer as well, until your arms touched as you worked, the ghost of a touch that was enough to set your heart ablaze…

God… this was such a terrible, terrible idea…

You barely noticed your mother as she moved around the kitchen, until she reached for Andrew.

“I’m so happy for you,” she spoke in a smile. “After all this time… I’m glad the two of you have finally worked out all the things that kept you apart.”

She disappeared before you could speak to her, ask her what she meant. When you turned to Andrew though, he was blinking tears away.

“Andy? You’re alright? What’s wrong?” You asked with sudden worry in your voice, but your friend shook his head.

“Nothing. I’m fine. Just… Erm…”

But he grew quiet, shrugged. You tried to guess, but were pretty sure to miss the mark when he reassured you again.

“Is my mother bothering you?”

“No! Of course, not. It’s weird lying to her, that’s all.”

There was something more to it, but Andrew interrupted you before you could question him further.

“Besides… we have another problem. A more important one. That’s why I was looking for you.”

“What is it?”

“Craig doesn’t believe us.”

“What?”

“He pulled me aside and told me he knew we were faking it. That he was going to tell everyone.”

“The son of a bitch!”

“My thoughts, precisely.”

“What did you answer?”

Andrew shrugged.

“That he was being ridiculous.”

“And?”

“That he was merely being jealous over the fact that he had let a woman like you slip between his fingers like a moron.”

You tried to hide the grin that formed on your lips at his praise.

“Nice… going all in on the ‘make him jealous’ wagon, I see…”

He took a moment to answer, voice less confident than his usual tone when he spoke once more.

“Just the truth…”

You ignored his remark, and you didn’t get why the same tinge of sadness made his hazel eyes greener again, the same way they had earlier that day…

“What can we do to convince him?” you asked, eliciting little more than a shrug from your friend.

You heaved a sigh, your carrots now all cut in the sink. Game over…

“Let’s see how all this unfolds,” was your only solution for now.

“And if he tells your family?”

“We’ll see, Andy. We’ll see.”

The meal was over. The gifts had been given, the kisses and thankful glances had been exchanged. It was time to settle in with some board games, for those willing, while others nibbled on some pastries and chatted in sofas and armchairs. The last remnants of cakes lingered in porcelain plates while coffee, tea and hot chocolate were being served. You laughed when Andrew picked up your warm beverage before you had a chance.

“Are you drinking my cocoa?”

“I’m trying it out. Just to be sure. In case of poison or something like that.”

You both laughed as he took another sip, humming in delight.

“You could have asked for a hot chocolate instead of tea!” you admonished, but didn’t try to take the cup from him, too happy to see him smiling to even think about it.

God, he could steal the entire beverage, as long as he kept on smiling like that… happy, and soft, and welcoming, calling for a smile of your own to answer his…

“Tastes better when it’s yours,” he laughed, all mischief and cheekiness while he looked at you and drank a third sip, a tiny one, just to get on your nerves.

The charm was broken though when one of the children running around bumped into him and made Andrew spill a little bit of chocolate across his chin. You burst into laughter.

“Well, that was… hot,” you teased while Andrew tried to hide his mouth and chin with his hand, looking around for a napkin of some kind. “Literally, I mean. It must be hot. Graciously so.”

“I hate you,” he glowered without any animosity in his gaze, making you laugh harder as you finally handed him one of the paper towels set on the coffee table.

On the other side of the room, people were playing a board game, but you felt better like this. Just you and Andrew chatting around a cocoa, or what was left of it. No one was truly paying attention to you, or so you had thought… among the five people who were casually chatting in small groups around the coffee table, it was easy to notice that all around the room, if gazes were directed towards your small group, it was to stare at Andrew and you.

Was Andrew aware of that scrutiny? Of the gazes fixed upon you?

“You’re okay?” he asked, frowning slightly, and you wished you could ease the crease between his brow with a brush of your thumb.

“Sure. I’m fine. Just… I think people are kind of watching us,” you added in a whisper no one could eavesdrop, leaning closer to him in the process.

He hummed, slowly nodding.

“Yeah, I think we’re kind of… the new thing.”

You bit your lip before making your next request, and you were surprised to notice that his eyes lingered on your mouth until you spoke.

“Is that okay if we act like…?” you left your question suspended in mid-air.

He nodded again, in silence, and there it was again, the flash of pain turning the hazel into full green…

You noticed the sharp intake of breath he took before finally speaking, the way his eyes narrowed just a little, for a second, while he hesitated… but then the words were out all the same, making his pale cheeks turn a bright shade of pink.

“Can I… tug that strand of hair behind your ear?”

You struggled to swallow and nodded, it was your time to be silent, you couldn’t trust your voice.

He was leaning closer when he lifted his arm towards you, shifting to be facing you, both of you sitting on a sofa that was too comfortable and too familiar for you to feel this tensed, almost frightened.

“You’re sure that’s alright?” Andrew asked again, and this time you let out a faint yes along with your nod.

Frightened wasn’t the right word though. You weren’t scared at all, in fact, you felt absolutely safe with Andrew sitting so close to you, your bodies almost touching, but not quite, just far enough to leave you longing to close these gaps. Slowly, his hand was lifted, all the way up to your face, pushing back a loose strand of hair behind your ear. He was staring at you, something that went beyond softness, beyond the usual tenderness his gaze adorned when it fell on you. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, guess what it meant. But then again, his thumb was brushing your cheek, and the ghostly touch made you too dizzy, anyway.

He leaned closer, unbearably closer, until his lips were next to your ear, his fingers moving to hold your face in place, palm cradling your jaw.

“Can I… Can I kiss your cheek?”

You were certain that your heart could not take more of this, of his intoxicating cologne, of the warmth of his skin across yours, of the delicate breath fanning across your ear…

You reached up for something, anything to hold onto, and your fingers met his woollen jumper, attached themselves to it as if holding a safe line.

“Yes, you can,” you answered despite your shaking voice and the fact that you had no air left in your lungs whatsoever.

Your rational brain wanted to remind you that this was not real, that it was all for show… but the world had vanished the second he had leaned closer. No… no, before that. When he had stared at you in this gentle way, when his hand had risen towards your face. You couldn’t even remember that you were at your parents’, in fact, you couldn’t remember your own name. Your entire world was being rewritten because this man was holding you close, a palm cradling your jaw while the other found its way to your waist; because he was moving slowly away, only to come back closer than ever, lips resting on your cheek. You closed your eyes the second his lips found your skin, their warmth coursing through your entire frame it seemed, his beard slightly tickling you, just enough to make it all the more endearing. He lingered there for what anyone would consider too long, but when you thought he was about to pull away, his lips merely hovered above your cheek, close enough for you to feel their warmth still, and the hurried breaths he exhaled. And then he was kissing your cheekbone again, and again, and with each resting of his lips upon you, you tightened your hold on his jumper, your free hand coming to rest right against his heart, in the end…

You both jumped at the sharp sound of something falling, glass breaking. As you turned, you noticed that someone had dropped a glass of water to the floor. Nothing too bad, your father was already heading towards the kitchen to clean up the mess that was made. Craig didn’t have a drink.

Before you could analyse the situation in depth, though, Andrew was turning his attention back onto you, and you had no choice but to look at him again too. You remained perfectly still for a moment, hazel eyes meeting your gaze in an unreadable expression, his hands still on you…

And then you both realised how close you were, how easy it would be to just lean a little further and to close the gap between your lips…

And you pulled away in a jolt, startled by your nearness, like two teenagers caught red-handed by an adult.

Andrew cleared his throat, rubbing his palms on his dark jeans, shifting like he didn’t know what to do with his own body all over again.

“I should… help clean the mess…” you mumbled, stuttering slightly, while Andrew was nodding and humming, averting his gaze.

You did just that, hurrying towards the table and picking up pieces of broken glass while your brain remained stuck on the feeling of Andrew’s beard on your skin, the softness of his lips, the way he held you closer…

Your heart was still pounding, your breath catching in your throat every now and then; in fact, every time you thought about his fingers slipping to your hair…

“Let’s throw all these away, darling,” your mother told you, nodding towards the shards in your palm.

You stood straighter without a word, headed for the kitchen…

… to fall face to face with Craig.

Wonderful…

“Sorry about the glass,” he said, breathless for some reason.

“Oh, you’re the one who broke it? Don’t worry about it, my parents have plenty of those. As long as you didn’t cut yourself…”

“I did, actually.”

You took a closer look, and indeed, he was pouring cold water onto a cut across his thumb. Nothing worth worrying about, but it would be quite painful and bothersome for a few days, still. The cut was long and clean, if not too deep.

You had walked closer to inspect the wound, and you didn’t notice the way he stared at you.

“It’s not too bad, but it must hurt.”

“No, it’s alright. I’m just waiting for it to stop bleeding.”

“You should press something on it, then.”

You handed him a napkin, which he rolled around his finger as he thanked you. You finally noticed that you were alone in the kitchen, that everybody else was still in the living room either chatting or cleaning up the mess Craig had made.

“Actually, I… I wanted to talk to you, just us…”

You silently encouraged him to continue, but you were taken aback at the passion and hurt in his eyes when your two gazes locked together.

“I… Is it serious? With Andrew, I mean?”

“Yeah… yes! Of course, it’s serious. Why?”

He shrugged, but you saw the way he clenched his jaw.

“It’s just… you’ve been friends for years… why now?”

You shrugged, feeling uncomfortable now… and you blamed it on a lie, but you knew it was because of the longing that was stuck in your heart, and had been dormant there for too long for you to count.

“I don’t know… the timing was always wrong. He wasn’t single, I wasn’t single, he was touring, I was busy… we kind of… were never on the same page, you know? We… our lives never managed to align.”

Slowly, Craig nodded.

“But this time, your lives are aligning?”

“Yeah! I mean… we’re both single, both staying in Ireland for more than a couple of weeks… we… we both want the same things.”

“And what is that?”

“What’s what?”

“That ‘thing’. Whatever it is that you want, what is it?”

You struggled to swallow, looking for a lie, an answer, anything to say. And a weight fell on your chest as the earnest answer flashed before you, taking the shape of two hazel eyes, unruly curls, soft-spoken words and an infectious laugh…

You thought you wanted some revenge. To make Craig jealous, for him to regret leaving you… but the truth was, you had wanted another man all along. And you still couldn’t have him. It was only a game of pretence.

What a terrible idea, this whole fake-relationship scheme…

Craig took a step closer to you, bringing your bodies so close, as you looked up at him, he was but a breath away.

“What do you want? Why are you with him? Of all people, why Andrew, and why now? Do you want to know what I think about all this?”

You frowned at his tone, crossing your arms before your chest, a glare starting to cover your features.

“Oh, enlighten me!” you replied with challenge in your voice.

But Craig didn’t back down. He only leant closer.

“I think you’re trying to make me jealous. I think you’re not over us. I think that deep down, you still want me. And you turned to your best friend as a rebound. But you’ll be tired of him in a couple of months.”

You shook your head, but your ex still went on.

“Look, I know that what I did was horrible, okay? I… Samantha was a mistake… but we could still have this. You and I, we… we were great together.”

You scoffed, taking a step back, shaking your head some more in amazement. The guy had balls, you had to give him that, at least.

“A mistake you’re about to celebrate your first anniversary with…” you replied, tone acidic and bearing no regrets for it.

“Y/N…”

“No! I don’t know what you’re trying to do right now, but you’re wrong, that’s for sure. I… you cheated on me! With my cousin! How could you possibly imagine that I would want to give you another chance?!”

He heaved a sigh, and you thought he would give in, but he didn’t, on the contrary. This was only the first round.

“So what? You’re bringing Andrew here and playing perfect couple just to get under my skin? To make me pay? To show me what I’ve lost?”

You looked for something to say, but couldn’t deny the plain truth.

“Because I already know what I’ve lost, okay?” Craig went on, tears shining in his eyes. “I know that. I don’t need you to pretend to be in love with someone else to see that.”

You let out a shaky breath. You could have walked away, but it felt good to let the truth out. A day spent telling nothing but lies, it was a relief to reveal the truth, even if it was but a fragment.

“You’re wrong. I love Andrew. In fact… I’ve loved him for years.”

He frowned at that, but you went on, a tear escaping your eyes that you didn’t even notice flowing down your cheek. You had been lying to yourself for a long time, pretending that all this made sense, that it was alright, that you were happy and content as Andrew’s friend. In truth, you were anything but happy, anything but content. And today, pretending to be his, pretending that he was yours… it only showed you more clearly that this was what you wanted. What you had always wanted. What you couldn’t have, perhaps, but what you needed.

It was a confession spoken to Craig, but made for you.

“I’ve been in love with Andrew for years. I’ve had relationships because… I wanted to forget him. Thought I could. Thought it was nothing but an infatuation, then nothing but a crush, and then nothing but a meaningless unrequited love that I would get over quickly. But the truth is, you were the band-aid, Craig. And he’s the one I’ve always wanted. And you know what? You’re right. Coming here with Andy today I… I wanted to come with him because I didn’t want to have to face you and Samantha on my own. Didn’t want to have to bear everybody’s stares and pity thinking I was the poor victim of a tragedy… And I wanted you to see that I was fine without you. That I deserved better than the way you treated me. That I… That I was worth keeping, and loving. But I… at the end of the day, if this afternoon has shown me anything, it’s that I don’t need you. I don’t want you. And I don’t give two fucks about you and Samantha. So… let’s be cordial, as we must, as you’re still part of the family for as long as you’ll be dating my cousin, but… I’m over you, Craig. I’m over all of this. And if there is one thing I want in this world, it’s Andy.”

Before Craig could say anything, before you could even process his reaction, you were storming out of the room. Or at least, you tried to. Because you had taken but a couple of steps towards the door, when Craig held you back, holding onto your wrist.

“Really? Is that how you feel?” he asked, clearly hurt, but also unmistakably angry. “I don’t believe you.”

“What?”

“I don’t believe you. You and Andy? I don’t believe it. I can’t believe it. You’re faking it. You’re lying now and for what? To hurt me?”

You didn’t say anything, instead, you merely broke free. Walked out of the kitchen, angry and annoyed and not thinking straight but with a decision taken anyway…

“Andy?”

When you looked around, he wasn’t on the sofa anymore.

“Yes?”

You turned around again. He was right there, by the table, wet napkins in hand, as he had clearly been helping cleaning up the mess your ex had made, standing not too far from the door to the kitchen, your mother by his side while everyone was turning towards you.

He frowned slightly as you hurried towards him, making a bee line to reach him, not caring that everyone was staring at the two of you. Instead, you didn’t think, forgot about the world, focused your attention on Andrew and his unruly curls and the confusion in his hazel eyes, and the way his lips slightly parted as you approached. And then, you took his face in your hands, pulled him down and rose to your tiptoes to meet him halfway, and you kissed him.

You crashed your lips against his, nothing graceful in the gesture, but desperation pouring from every inch of you. You were taken aback though, by the quiet huff he let out, your brain finally kicking in again, and thinking that this was crazy, a terrible idea, and more than anything else, highly inappropriate…

… but Andrew quickly recovered from the initial shock, and before you could pull away and profusely apologise, he had dropped the napkins that hit the floor in a thud, and his arms were wrapping around your frame, pulling you to him. You felt his eyelashes brushing your skin as he closed his eyes, leaning into your kiss, moving his lips over yours to compliment your own movements. And if he was more graceful about it, softer than your rushed gesture, he poured such passion into the kiss that your knees grew weak, and you rested your weight on him, leaning into his chest.

It was over too soon, though, interrupted by the sound of someone – probably one of your parents, or your pain of an uncle – clearing their throat. Andrew was the one pulling away, clearing his throat as well as he took a step back, although one of his hands remained at your waist.

He was blushing when you opened your eyes. And you suddenly wanted to leave. To just go and disappear and pretend like you had not broken the best friendship you had ever had and that the man you loved would not hate you from now on for kissing him like that and that you had not humiliated yourself in front of your entire family…

But as you were about to speak, Craig was hissing from somewhere behind Andrew, making him turn around. Before his attention was pulled away from you, you noted the way Andrew was looking at you. Intensely, a little stunned too, like he wasn’t sure that it had happened, that you had truly kissed him, and yet, like he was searching for answers in your eyes…

But then he turned to face Craig. He had barely turned towards him, though, that your ex was grabbing Andrew by the collar, and pushing him against the nearest wall, Andrew’s hand leaving its resting spot on your hip in the process.

“YOU SON OF A BITCH!” Craig shouted, the whole room too stunned to react while Andrew’s back collided with the wall, a hollow sound ensuing and making a couple of framed pictures shake with the strength of the impact.

“Get off me!” Andrew merely replied through his teeth, struggling to break free, but fighting had never been his strong suit…

“You fucking BASTARD!”

“Craig!”

The first people were finally reacting, hurrying to pull your ex away, but he kept them at bay, trying to keep on pushing Andrew against the wall.

“You were just waiting for your turn, you son of bitch! Dickhead! You were just waiting to get a chance to fuck that bitch!”

Andrew’s expression hardened, and this time, when he reached for Craig, it wasn’t to pull at his hands, but to grab the collar of your ex’s shirt and violently pull as well.

“Don’t you fucking dare insult her like that!” he growled, with such anger and threat, a tone you had never heard on his voice before.

“Both of you, stop!” your father ordered.

“Stop this! What are you doing?” you added, tugging at both their arms, but none of them seemed to care.

Instead, Craig went on, pushing on all of Andrew’s buttons…

“I can’t believe she did run straight into your bed like a whore…”

Before anyone could react, Andrew was pushing Craig away with so much force that he stumbled backwards and fell down.

For a second time, the whole room was too stunned to react, while Craig staggered back to his feet. Andrew moved away from the wall, and as your ex stood straighter again he was glaring at him, jaw tightly clenched. You had never seen so much wrath on his features before.

But it wasn’t over. Craig threw Andrew only one look before he was bending over and running to him, tackling him and making him fall back easily. You gasped at the loud sound of Andy’s head hitting the tiles.

Too stunned to move, Andrew didn’t even try to avoid Craig’s punch, and he got hit straight across the jaw. Thankfully, hands were then pulling Craig off of Andrew. You didn’t care though. You didn’t pay attention to your father and one of your aunts pushing Craig into the kitchen while shouting at him. You didn’t notice your cousin hurrying to join him, clearly worried. All you could do was to fall on your knees by Andrew’s side, holding onto his shoulders and gently shaking him while he blinked, clearly disoriented.

“Andy! Andy, you’re okay? Can you hear me?” you asked in a rush.

His unfocused gaze finally found you, and he blinked some more. You thought he was about to faint.

“Andy! Stay with me! Are you alright?”

Your hands moved from his shoulders to his cheeks. He took hold on your right wrist, touch firm and yet gentle still.

“Y/N…”

“You’re okay? Andy?”

“I’m okay.”

“You’re sure? How’s your head? Do you feel dizzy?”

“A little bit. I’m okay though.”

“Really?”

Slowly, he nodded. Your mother appeared by your side, asked Andrew how he felt as well. His answer was to slowly sit up. He looked exhausted, all of a sudden, paler than usual, but there was no cut across the back of his head, merely the beginning of a bump.

“I’m fine,” he repeated.

You helped him to his feet, your mother checking that he was unharmed too.

“I’m so sorry,” he apologised, but your mother was quick to dismiss it all with a wave of her hand.

“It’s not your fault, dear. Let’s seat you down on the sofa for a moment.”

“No, I’m… I’m fine.”

Samantha walked out of the kitchen, crying, and you wondered why. Or actually, you didn’t. You didn’t want to know. You didn’t want to stay for a minute longer in the same room as either her or Craig.

“Actually, I think we should go,” you interjected, and Andrew nodded.

“No, please… Craig is going to be kicked out, don’t worry about him,” your mother argued.

“No, really, I… I want to go home. Please, I want to go home.”

You were on the verge of tears, and so you turned towards the hallway, followed by your mother’s protests, along with some of your other relatives’ kind words. But you wanted to run now, disappear and leave all of them behind. You were tired of being looked at… you needed to be on your own for a while.

Meanwhile, Andrew was remaining silent. He only spoke to apologise once again to your family, clearly ashamed. You left before Craig could be let out of the kitchen, and were close to running to your car.

You climbed in, Andrew following suit in the passenger seat. You drove on, heading for home. You should have taken Andrew to his house, but you didn’t even think about it. The thought never came. You simply headed home, and Andrew didn’t protest, even though he obviously recognized the road you were taking.

Only when you arrived before your building did you realise that Andrew was still here, the ride had been filled with nothing but silence.

“You should come in, I’ll take a look at your jaw.”

Indeed, a bruise was forming under his beard, colouring the sharp angle of his face with yellowish hues.

“It’s nothing. Nothing broken.”

“Please, come in. Please…”

You stared at each other for a moment, but he yielded, nodding, at long last. You waited for him to climb out of your small car, and he held on the door before closing it, wincing as he unfolded his tall frame.

“You’re sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, just… a little dizzy, that’s all.”

“You need to go to the hospital?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, it was just a punch.”

“And a hit on the head.”

“Thick skull. Don’t you know that already?”

You both chuckled, while Andrew followed you inside your home.

You rid yourself of your shoes and coat, aiming straight for the freezer to get a bag of frozen vegetables there. Andrew was by your side, leaning against the kitchen counter. He didn’t protest when you gently rested the cold bag against his jaw, merely winced at the sharp sensation.

“Thanks,” he breathed, staring right into your eyes.

But you didn’t acknowledge his words. Instead, your world got blurred by tears.

“You… are you angry?”

But Andrew shook his head.

“No. No, I’m not angry.”

“You should be.”

“Probably.”

“You… you had to lie all day long because of me, and then I kissed you without your permission and you probably hated that, and then you punched Craig, and you got punched in the face… all because of me. I’m a lousy friend.”

“The worst,” he corrected you, but there was a tender smile on his lips.

“You should be angry.”

“I’m not.”

“You should hate me.”

“I don’t. And I…”

A pause. He seemed out of breath for a second, wetted his lips, before he went on.

“I liked it, by the way.”

“What?”

“Your kiss. I… I didn’t hate it. I liked it. A lot.”

Your eyes merely grew round, and Andrew looked away, averting his eyes. He heaved a painful sigh.

“I told you this would be a terrible idea,” he pointed out.

“I know.”

“And you didn’t listen.”

“I know.”

“And now… what are we going to do now?”

You had no answer to give, you were plagued by this same question yourself.

A moment of silence, suspended in mid-air. Outside, the quiet of cars passing by and the wind flowing through branches and pushing clouds around. Inside, the cold of the bag making your fingers ache, a welcomed burn to distract your busy mind, while Andrew was taking a sharp inhale.

“I heard you, you know?”

His voice was quiet, low and deeper than usual. He blinked, focusing on you again, trapping you into these hazel orbs you adored.

“When you talked to Craig, in the kitchen. I heard you. I was right behind the door.”

“That’s creepy,” you tried to deflect the impact of that revelation with humour, speaking the silliest thing you could have uttered. It still made Andrew break, laughing despite his best effort not to.

“I was sent to put the napkins away. But then… I heard you. Didn’t interrupt. Wanted to know what you would say.”

He narrowed his eyes a little, the ghost of a frown forming a crease across his brow.

“Did you mean any of that? Or was that just… one more lie?”

The bag of vegetables slipped from the hold of your numb fingers and fell, but Andrew stopped you as you reached for it, holding your face in his hands to force you to look at him.

“Did you mean what you said? About me? About us?”

“What does it matter?”

He knitted his brows, tightening his hold on you. You noticed the way his breathing stuttered, grew shallower.

“What does it matter?” he repeated. “Are you serious?”

“You don’t feel that for me. So… what does it matter?”

He let out a shaky breath, almost a sigh.

“Why did you kiss me like that, though?” you asked, tears shining in your eyes but you were determined not to let them fall. Your tone was almost bitter as you questioned him. “On the couch. You kissed my cheek… God, that was so much more than what it should have been…”

He blinked, trying to read behind your words for their true meaning. He didn’t find it, reached in the dark and his hand closed on nothing.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you. I just… I didn’t mean to.”

“Why did you kiss me like that? That was so out of line…”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry…”

“Why did you do that?”

Slowly, he shook his head. He looked almost stunned by your question.

“You really don’t know?”

He leaned back against the counter, and pulled you with him, until your faces were so close, you could feel his breath fanning over your lips.

“You really don’t know?” he asked again.

“I don’t know…”

“Did you mean it? When you said… when you said that you wanted me. Did you mean it?”

“I said a bit more than that…”

“I’m not foolish enough to hope for the rest to be true as well, I’ll settle for a ‘I vaguely like you’.”

It was your turn to chuckle even if you didn’t want to.

“If I answer earnestly, you’re going to hate me for wanting more and breaking our friendship.”

He shook his head, leaning closer, until his forehead rested upon yours. At long last, you reached up, holding on his forearms for support, and to make sure he wouldn’t go away…

You heard him wincing as he spoke, heard it in the way his voice was shaking. You had closed your eyes, and so had he.

“Let’s be honest with each other. Please… I’m tired of pretending. I’m tired of denying the way I feel for you, or what I want when it comes to you, I’m tired… I’m tired of letting you slip away. So, please. Please be honest with me. I can’t keep on holding onto some mad hope. I can’t keep on pretending that I don’t… That I…”

He struggled to breathe for a moment, you tightened your hold on his arms but remained there, eyes closed, leaning against him.

“I kissed you like that because… because I wanted to. Because I let myself slip into yielding. Because I couldn’t help it. Because… because it hurt so fucking much to hold you like this, to be close to you in this way, to act the way I have longed for for years under some pretence, under a mask, as a lie… when it wasn’t a lie. When I… I wish it wasn’t a lie. I wish it could be for real.”

He sighed, long and painful and full of hurt, and you reached up to kiss him before he could say anything else.

If your first kiss at your parents’ house had been passionate and quite messy because of it, this one was slow, taking its time to learn each other’s taste and lips and mouth. You had no idea for how long you kissed, all you knew was that, while it lasted, there was nothing else in the world but Andrew kissing you; and that when it ended, you longed for it to start again.

“I meant it,” you whispered, bearing your soul in a confession that was so raw you couldn’t summon anything but a murmur, eyes still closed and lips barely parted from his. “What I told Craig, I meant it. I mean it. I want you… And this whole day has been torture for me too.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry it took me so long, I’m sorry I didn’t say anything.”

“I didn’t either…”

“I almost said it a thousand times. Never had the courage.”

“Please… have it now, and kiss me again.”

He obliged, without protest or hesitation. You were lost in his embrace all over again, and rested your head against his chest when you eventually pulled away.

“So… what now?” you asked, voice muffled by his cardigan.

“We could go on a date.”

“I want to be wined and dined, just so you know,” you joked, making him chuckle.

“Duly noted. Anything else, for her ladyship?”

“I don’t know… I’m… I’m so fucking scared, to be honest.”

“Because everything is going to change?”

“Because it might not work out. Because… you might leave me, and I might give up and a thousand things can go wrong, and…”

But he softly shushed you, running his hand through your hair.

"Look, I… I’m not going to pretend that I’m not scared to bits by this. I feel like we have so much to lose. But I… I want you so badly. I want you so much, I’m ready to take the risk. We can take things slow, we don’t have to rush through this. I just… I feel like I'm truly myself when I'm with you. I want to be myself when I'm with you. So now, if you're scared, don't call it love yet. But whatever you want to call it, it's incredible, and I'm not going to give up on this. I'm not going to give up on us. I can promise you that, at least. That I’m ready to fight for this, for you.”

He was surprised by your chuckle.

“You’ve fought already. If you can call it a fight…”

“Yeah, exactly. I mean… he was about to seriously kick my arse but I did have a few seconds of manly glory there.”

You both laughed at that, the tension receding as a result.

“Perhaps, at the end of the day, that plan of mine wasn’t so bad,” you joked, making Andrew laugh harder, shaking his head.

“It was definitely a terrible idea. The worst idea you’ve ever had. Look at all the trouble it has caused!”

“Are you calling me trouble?”

“Of the worst kind.”

You were happy about this kind of trouble though, as Andrew was leaning down to kiss you once more, holding you close, unwilling to ever let go.

#hozier #andrew hozier byrne #hozier x reader #hozier x you #hozier x yn #hozier fanfiction #hozier fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #writing #hozier oneshot #oneshot

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gallusrostromegalus · 10 months

Note

AEIWAM : what are the divisions specialities actually ? Like obviously the 4th heal and the 11h fight but like. The 9th? Do crosswords?

BOY AM I GLAD YOU ASKED BECAUSE THIS IS SOME OF THE BEST RETROACTIVE WORLD BUILDING I HAD TO DO AND I'M PROUD OF IT.

So in canon, almost none of the guard squads have "specialist" jobs, mostly because it's not terribly important to the plot, and because the court guards were essentially formed as an ad-hoc mercenary gang to protect one city specifically, but since Yamamoto didn't have to remain loyal to any noble family specifically, he kept getting pulled in as an arbiter and more and more responsibilities heaped upon him until the Court guard squads were acting as a De-Facto government, until the old man got pissed off with being involved in everybody else's business and rounded up a gang of nerds to do that for him so he could go do sword stuff. Seriously, everything about the administrative Bullshit in Soul Society makes sense when viewed through the lens of 'this shit was made ad-hoc out of what was available by people who only kind of knew what they were doing.

So the main government of Soul Society functions approximately like so:

Royal Guard:

Only technically part of the government, the Royal guard consists of The Monk who is responsible for making sure nobody steals any more of the soul king's body parts, and the four people he chose to help/didn't want left unattended in the Spirit World: The Guy who makes Zanpaktou, the Guy who can (theoretically) heal the Soul King, the lady who can literally mess with the fabric of reality and the lady who can create new souls. They spend nearly all their time in the Royal Realm trying to prevent the universe from unrevealing further, and don't really have administrative power so much as if any one of them decided to, they could wreck house of anyone in the spirit world, so if they say something, the central 46 listens and obeys.

Central 46:

The Highest Administrative level, sets society-wide policies, mediates disputes between provinces, wrangles the noble houses, assigns aid and designs social programs. It's comprised of 46 sages and other wise people appointed by the 46 as they die off. IN THEORY "Let a bunch of academics and philosophers who presumably know what they're doing make policy" isn't *that* bad an idea by itself, but it got coupled with "Also, to make sure these guys aren't being bribed or politically pressured, let's keep them in near-total isolation :)" and that's when things got weird.

The Central 46 does try it's best to maintain a peaceful and prosperous society, but it's got to strike a weird balance and the isolation sure does not fucking help maintain a cognizant worldview.

Noble Houses:

So the soul society, by the way they measure time*, only JUST got out of a major warring states period because magical Germany invaded and the guy that lead the army also managed to get The Mandate Of Heaven, but a lot of those formerly-warring states are still around, especially the ones that stole pieces of the soul king. They're not governmental bodies, but the families have shitloads of money, private armed forces and political influence. Think of the worst possible combination of magacorporation, mercenary army and royal dynasty. The are, unfortunately, still a political force to be reckoned with.

*Badly.

Provincial Governors:

So the Soul Society is divided up into Districts like so:

(Embiggen to actually see the damn thing)

The Seireitei is in the center, with the districts counting out until the central 46 got to the outer edge they could theoretically get forces and/or emergency food to in under a month and declared everything after that "District 80" AKA "You're on your own" No taxes are collected in the 80th district and people who don't want to deal with the soul society government often try to strike it on their own out there.

Each of those little rectangles is a district, and each of them has approximately the same number of people living in it- the lower districts are densely populated and, due to their proximity to the Seireitei, well-developed. The districts generally get less developed and less densely populated as you get farter from the center, but this varies wildly by the competence of that district's Daimyo or Governor. West 51 is a much more developed district than it's position would dictate, because it's Daimyo is canny and made good use of it's mineral resources and position in inter-mountain shipping. South 14 Should be one of the nicest districts, but their Governor is a moron who keeps picking fights with the neighboring districts like he's allowed to annex them, and the district has been sanctioned from hell to breakfast over it.

Gotei-13 / Court Guard Squads:

Sort of the executive branch of the Central 46, founded out of Yamamoto's gang of criminals he rounded up to deal with the Quincy invasion back when Rome was collapsing. So the court guard acts out the orders of the Central 46, and *theoretically* has authority over the noble houses and provincial governors, but they are pretty much constantly dancing on the edge of another warring states period, so things can get... tricky.

ALSO DID NOT HELP that The Monk who guards what's left of the Soul King came down from the Royal Realm and foisted a bunch of trans-dimensional responsibilities onto them but the Specific duties of the 13 court guards in AEIWAM are as follows:

(It's worth noting that the order of the court guard squads was determined literally by the order that the 12 criminals signed the agreement with Yamamoto to protect the seireitei, not the order of importance)

Division 1: ADMINISTRATION Oh god there is so much coordination to do between the central 46, the running of internal affairs, recruitment, training new shinigami, coordinating assignments that take more than one division's input. securing and distributing funding, etc. It's main jobs are: assigning work based on policy from the central 46, running the Shinigami Academy, and actually running the Gotei-13.

Division 2: SPY SHIT Gotei-13 is a shady-ass organization with a lot of enemies and that's not about to change. The second division is responsible for keeping an eye on the provinces and noble houses and anything else of interest, "Handling things quietly" for the Gotei-13, and preventing the Central 46 from being corrupted or assassinated. The Shihon Clan has historically held the captainacy of the 2nd division as part of the compromise Yamamoto struck with the noble houses at the founding of the court guard squads to end the civil wars- that each of the 4 noble houses would hold a captain's position, until the noble houses fell apart or the court guard did. This gave the Shihon clan a GREAT incentive to undermine the shit out of other noble houses, and Yamamoto gave them his blessing to do so. Ironically, the Shihon clan was one of the first to collapse.

Division 3: INTERNAL AFFAIRS Law Enforcement, but specifically the Seireitei and shinigami/martial court/jail. The court guard kind of lives and dies by how much it's respected* and it's essential the Gotei-13 follow strict ethical standards and also a tight adherence to authority lest one of the squads break off and start a civil war. Accepting Bribes and Defying Orders are much more severe crimes than say, excessive collateral damage. The 3rd division is responsible for investigating complaints, mediating disputes between divisions, and generally making sure everyone is behaving properly. *By the noble houses, Daimyos and central 46. The average civilian? not so much.

Division 4 Medical This division was actually the FIRST established, even before the court guard really became Squads. It was Chigiri and her pack of field surgeons that commanded Yamamoto's respect and gave him the idea of letting the other criminals have minions too. 4th divison is responsible for maintaining the health of the court guard- not just emergency medicine, but vaccinations, post-service medical care, and civil sanitation- keeping the streets clean and water safe is the #1 way to prevent deaths. Until recently, this meant a lot of trained medics were doing a lot of grunt work, until Zaraki, a guy from districts where Dysentery is still the #1 killer, successful argued a proposal to Unohana that her medics should be managing other, less-in-demand squads doing the labor, which would get the jobs done a hell of a lot faster, and not back up triage as much. Unohana, who had previously not *trusted* other squads to do the work reliably, finally relented and accepted some damn help.

Division 5: Rukongai Affairs The 5th division is responsible for coordinating efforts between the Gotei-13 and the Provincial Governors- Hollow Eradication, Disaster Relief, additional armed forces to help local police, Helping distribute grain to mitigate famine, etc.

Division 6: External Affairs Responsible for representing the Gotei-13 to other groups and dealing with Noble House Bullshit specifically. While Noble House Bullshit is 95% of what they do, but technically, they're also responsible for handling diplomatic relations with the Beastfolk in the eastern districts, Las Noches after the winter war in the west, Any Kami that might come through, and Hell, if they ever get a line open. The Kuchiki family has held the 6th Division captaincy for generations as a peacekeeping measure between the gotei-13 and the noble houses.

Division 7: Incoming Souls The reason the soul society doesn't reunite people with their families when they die is that they do not actually have control over who reincarnates as themselves (and if they retain their memories), who is reborn as a baby in the spirit world, and what district they get assigned to- that's all decided at the moment of a Soul's death by Hell, using a Metric the Shinigami can only guess at. That said, the 7th still can do a lot- Souls that had to be cleansed with Konsho go through the 7th division and are escorted to their assigned districts. Other, non-hollowfied but odd case souls will end up in the pocket dimension that serves as the queue into the afterlife- people with high spiritual power, animals that achieved personhood in the world of the living and other nonhuman persons, and somtimes spirits who were almost certainly supposed to go to a different afterlife all come through. The 7th division is also charged with keeping a running tally on important statistics like the relative balance between souls, who got hollowfied and why, collecting data on who goes to hell when konsho is prefromed on them and why, and other data to try and work out Hell's metric backwards.

Division 8: Income and Funding The court guard squads are... kind of taxpayer funded. The Daimyos collect taxes from civilians, they pay those taxes to the central 46, and the central 46 disburses some of that money to the Gotei-13, but the truth is, for all the duties they're expected to preform, they're wildly underfunded. So the court guard has had to get... inventive to make sure everyone gets paid and they can do what they need to. Investments in industries, ownership of weird land grants, taking out loans, selling merchandise and straight-up schmooze have all been used by the 8th division to make sure the bills get paid. Shunsui is, by that measure, the best captain the division has ever had- he's shrewd and had astonishingly good luck when it comes to finances so there hasn't been a pay strike since he took over. Probably his best idea was handing the branding and product design of the Gikon to the Shinigami Women's Association- that one paid mad dividends.

Division 9: Information Services The ninth division is most famously home to the Seireitei's first and most largely-ciculated newspaper, but it's also the records office, PAYROLL, library, document archives, data collection and data analytics. Also, tech support. Also also: manage all the arts programs, propaganda and festivals. This is why Kaname was load-bearing to Aizen's plan.

Division 10: Living World Affairs The 10th division was responsible for monitoring the living world- mostly keeping track of hollow appearances, but also: what the remaining Quincies are up to, reporting back on useful technological advancements, any other weird shit that turns up there, and keeping track of all the Shinigami on deployment to the living world (mostly 10th division but the post-war population boom means every division's having to chip in now.

Division 11: Emergency/Heavy Deployment Every time the Gotei-13 had to do some heavy lifting, it's the 11th division's job. Mass outbreak of hollows? 11th's job. Emergency Dam repair to prevent a flood? 11th division muscle time. Daimyo got funny ideas about conquering a neighboring district? 11th division. Funcking Quincies again? 11th division. Rampaging Kami afflicted by a terrible curse? you know who to call. This was the SECOND Division to be founded, because the actual sentence that came out of Yamamoto's mouth was "Chigiri, you and your gremlins put my guts back in, Yachiru, round up some assholes and DEAL WITH THAT FUCKING THING." and the 11th's prerogative and hiring practices have not changed since. Since the 11th's work is more intermittent, there are long periods between jobs for them, and it's only recently they've been allowed to pitch in on regular maintenance and rehabilitate their reputation as a bunch of lazy degenerates.

Divison 12: Supplies (more recently, Research and Development) Prior to Kisuke Urahara's weird science boner, the 12th Division's primary job was the manufacture and supply of everything the Shinigami would need to do their jobs. Uniforms, Gigai, medical supplies, communicators, rations, Gikon, the actual buildings in the Seireitei, bedding, Protective gear- if a Shinigami received it for their job, it was made by the 12th division. Despite previous captain Kirio Hikifune being the most accomplished chef in the history of Soul Society, it's Mayuri that has made the most profound mark on Soul Society Cuisine with the fast-prepared, acceptable-tasting and surprisingly nutritious meals he developed to deal with the mass influx of souls after WW2, and the franchise distribution centers combined with his attempts at children's educational programming mean that Mayuri occupies a cultural niche in Soul Society not unlike Krusty The Clown.

Division 13: Magical Research, Kido Corps Until recently, the Kido Corps was a seperate division governed under the purview of the central 46, and the 13th division was doing it's research into Hado, Bakudo and Haikido independently, but as the two organizations worked increasingly closely together, they began to share more until the catastrophic events of Turn Back The Pendulum left the Kido Corps severely depleted and without leadership, at which point Yamamoto persuaded the central 46 to let the 13th division absorb the rest of the Kido corps and take on their work.

So that's how the government in Soul Society is SUPPOSESD to work.

#AEIWAM #an elephant is warm and mushy #bleach fanfiction #bleach #gotei-13 #long post

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bonny-kookoo · 11 months

Text

Jungkook: 𝓖𝓻𝓮𝓮𝓭𝔂 (Intro)

Jewels, Money, Shiny things- stuff he's been collecting before he stumbled upon you. Now the only thing he's greedy for is you.

Tags/Warnings: Alien!Jungkook, Cat Hybrid!Reader, Major fluff!, suggestive themes & heavy flirting, Primal themes (biting, grooming aka he licks her neck lol, scenting, manhandling), size difference because come on this is my content and you know my kinks by now don't act surprised

Additional Content: none yet

Masterlist: to be added

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Jungkook is humming to himself in a good mood as he cuts open a cardboard box delivered, knife cutting through the tape holding everything safely together.

Almost instantly you're in the room with him as well, ducking under one of his arms to catch a glimpse of what he's gotten delivered. "Hey- I've got a knife here, careful." He chuckles, gently pushing you a bit so you sit a bit further away as he pulls out the plastic wrapped item. "Oh, nice! I was worried it might be a little too small.." He mumbles more so to himself as he opens the vacuum packed item, fluffing it up as you watch with wide open eyes.

"You bought it!" You tell him, amazed, and he grins, opening another sealed back that contains a fitting pillow for the human-sized pet bed he'd bought for you. It was a little on the more expensive side for him- but to see your eyes sparkle like that, and watch you grab and drag is towards a sunny spot near his windows is enough of a reward for it.

It's something that you never really experienced prior to living with Jungkook. He's offering you more than just a home, or basic care- he offers love, a feeling of belonging, comfort and a sense of security.

His kind is, on earth, often times compared to dragons for their heavy and alligator-like tails and uniquely diamond-shaped pupils, but mostly for their behavior of collecting things. Food, money, candy- some even collect blankets or pillows or plants, there's nothing one won't attempt to hoard more of if it brings them joy or happiness. Jungkook himself is pretty tame for a Xiro- he only really hoards food and snacks at home, but has started to become rather fond of spoiling you instead of himself. He's got a whole collection of hybrid stuff- medications, supplements, snacks, collars and toys- it's all there, even emergency medical stuff, just in case, because you never know.

He's not only your owner after all, but your mate- lifelong companion, your protector and lover, and he won't ever give you a reason to complain about that fact.

He folds the cardboard box together to throw away later, before he walks over to you, playfully manhandling you around to lay in the, for him way too small, bed with you on top of him. "I might have to put it away again if you lay in it more than you want to be with me.." He chuckles, though you know there's a hint of truth in his joke.

Jungkook is awfully possessive when it comes to you and your attention.

"No, I'll always like you most." You purr quietly, and he offers a happy sounding growl before he closes his eyes, basking in the sun shining onto his body with you. "Nap time?" You ask, and he chuckles, nodding.

"Nap time."

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Your favorite way of cuddling has become to sleep almost on top of Jungkook.

He's warm, like the sun, and strong enough not to be fazed at all by your added weight on top of his chest either. It also reassures you during sleep that he's still there, and that you're not alone.

Jungkook himself loves it too.

He knows it's sometimes tough to adapt your body to his nocturnal sleep schedule- but very amusingly to him, you're totally capable of sleeping anywhere he takes you as long as he's in reach. It's made it very easy for him to take you to work for example- his job being what brought him to you in the first place, though tonight he's simply offering company to his friends at the small restaurant one of them owns.

It's then that a couple of police officers walk in, clearly not there for simple food.

"Sir- can I check your papers for her please?" A more elderly guy in official uniform asks Jungkook, looking at you who's currently sleeping rolled up in a blanket-burrito on one of the nearby chairs close to Jungkook. It's common for law enforcement to check ID's of hybrids these days, since a lot of them are illegally trafficked on to his planet, cases rising rapidly for reasons no one's entirely sure of yet. It's a little sad to him how earth and humans seem to try and 'get rid' of your kind so shamelessly- but he's no politician, nor does he want to really involve himself into this mess at all.

He's got you, and that's all that matters.

"Sure." He says, used to the procedure as he moves to grab his bag to fetch his wallet. "I only got her identification card with me though, I hope that's alright." He mumbles, pulling out the card in question before he gets out his own, already aware that that's gonna be asked next.

"That should be fine. Just gotta match up the ID tattoo on her to make sure if you don't mind." The officer says, and Jungkook nods.

"Yeah sure." He offers, moving towards you to carefully run a hand over your shoulder first as to not startle you on accident. "It's right here." Jungkook shows the inside of your ear, the officer matching it up by sight with what's written on your ID card, before he nods and gives him back his items.

"Thanks. It's just a routine thing- cases have been popping up left and right these days.." The man sighs, writing something down in a booklet. "Her medical records all up to date?" He questions, and Jimin nods.

"She's scheduled for tomorrow for her yearly vaccinations. They're expiring in two months I think, but we wanna travel soon so I wanted to get it done sooner rather than later." Jungkook chats, and the officer nods.

"Very good. If only everyone was like this.." the man sighs, watching as his coworker seems to argue a bit with a young man and his own hybrid next to him. "I won't bother you any further. Have a nice night." He offers, before leaving to aid his colleague in the argument he's involved in.

You move around a little, wiggling closer to his chair as he sits down again, both Jin and Taehyung emerging from the kitchen, sitting down. "Man, humans are a struggle.." Seokjin sighs, leaning his head on his hand. "Why can't they be nocturnal? I've been working all day, no breaks!" He whines, and you wiggle out your arm to reach out and pat the older man's head. He looks at you with squinted eyes at that, an action that years prior would've scared you-

But Xiro people are gentle giants, you've come to learn.

"Hah, if Jungkook wasn't written on all the documents I'd steal you right away." He complains, and Taehyung laughs at Jungkooks playfully angry face, his tail swiping from left to right.

"You keep your grabbing claws to yourself old hag." He insults the oldest at the table, who's mouth gapes open at the audacity of the youngest.

"How could you!" He scolds. "Younglings these days, wear a sleeve full of ink and think they're free to do whatever!" He shakes his head, making you giggle.

You love the carefree banter Jungkook has with his friends.

You love hanging out with them, their friendship something not commonly seen on earth anymore since the collapse. People aren't really too warm anymore on earth, rather concerned with finding a new villain to blame for everything wrong every day it seems like. So in a way, you're glad Jungkook chose to take you with him back when he volunteered to help give Hybrids back on earth their identification tattooed. It was a form of social work, a publicity thing created to familiarize humans with the Xiro people and their planet. It worked.. mildly successful.

Though it was a win in the lottery for you.

"I should probably head home, she needs to sleep in a proper bed." Jungkook says after a moment, and Seokjin nods.

"Hah, I always forget they sleep during the night. You could just leave her here though-" He offers, though he receives a glare from the younger alien.

"Absolutely not. Get your own, old man." He scoffs playfully, getting up to put on your coat for you. It's pretty windy on his planet tonight, so he's learned to bundle you up to prevent you from getting cold.

"Pah, I just might! Stupid kid." He growls, shaking his head. "Here, take those though. Poor thing is probably living off of nothing but pre-made meals." He gives you the bag full of boxes filled with what he knows are your favorite foods.

"I cook for her, thank you." Jungkook rolls his eyes, before he properly says his goodbyes, your hand in his as you walk home in the lowering suns of his planet.

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You remember how you'd met him.

He was intimidating to say the least- ink underneath his skin swirling around slightly, eyes sharp and piercings glimmering in the lights around him. His tall statue and rather muscular physique definitely didn't help his case either- so it shouldn't have been surprising to him how you'd glare at him as if ready to strike if he'd attempt to harm you.

"You're cute, really, but you gotta show me that pretty ear of yours." He'd chuckled softly, head tilted innocently and his smile almost docile.

A careworker wants to scold you, reaches out- but the man who's name tag read 'JUNGKOOK', holds out his hand in a silent demand to let him handle it himself.

"What can I do to make you more comfortable?" He'd asked, and your ears had slowly relaxed, surprise having caught you off guard. No one's ever asked you a question like that prior to him- you didn't know what to answer to that. "Hm?" He'd pressed softly, and you'd shrugged, looking around nervously. "Thats a pretty tail you have there. My kind has them too." He'd smiled, a grin more akin to a rabbit than the dragons his kind gets compared to, heavy alligator-like tail swaying behind him as if to show it off.

"...is it heavy?" You'd asked bluntly, and He'd laughed, shaking his head.

"Not really no. I guess because I grew up with it, I never really thought about that." He'd told you, casually readying his tattooing equipment while talking to you. "But as a child, my mothers would tell me how I'd always cause trouble with it. I'd empty any table low enough for it to reach!" He'd giggled, and you'd smiled at the thought of the younger version of him knocking down items from tables and shelves, too clumsy yet to quite think about it all.

"I burned mine on a candle once." You'd meekly told him, petting your own tail in search for comfort as you remembered the memory. He must have bright and colorful memories of his childhood- while you barely have anything worth keeping in mind, you'd thought to yourself.

"Well, you better make sure you don't get it hurt again, little thing!" He'd simply offered, before his surprisingly gentle hands had rubbed some numbing cream on the inside of your ear. "Or... maybe I could?" He'd asked, and at that, your ears had fully turned towards him, and made him smile. "Ah, adorable, really!"

"You'd.. take me in?" You'd asked, and He'd shrugged.

"I wasn't planning on bringing an earth-hybrid home-" He'd smiled, before the tattoo gun had buzzed to life. "But looking at you, I feel like I've found what I didn't even search for."

And today, the tattoo on your ear isn't just a Number.

It's also a memory, forever cherished by the both of you.

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There's a low rumbling sound in his chest as he holds you close to himself, nosing along the crook of your neck.

It sounds awfully like those CGI-Dinosaurs in movies back on earth- and you know he's just as dangerous as the directors of these sci-fi movies intended their creatures to be. His heavy, snake-like tail has you wrapped securely to himself on his lap, hands free to roam over your body as if he needs to re-paint your image back into his mind using only his fingers and palms. His tongue traces over your skin, marking you, seemingly on a mission to find the perfect spot, before his teeth bite the skin, leaving his mark on yoir body amongst so many others, chuckling when you begin to squirm a little at his actions, your soft cat tail a stark contrast to his own.

You're like the prey in the python's grip- but this predator has chosen to feast on you in different ways.

"Hm.. are you happy, little thing?" He asks you, and you nod, leaning into him, your soft cat ears brushing against his cheek as you purr- a sound he's learned earth's cats make when they feel good, making him smile. "I'm glad." He offers, laying down with you as his tail curls around the both of your bodies, warm orange glow from outside his home bleeding in and bathing you both in shades of gold. It doesn't matter though how warm the suns on his planet shines-

Your favorite sunspot will always be him.

"I love you." He says, chuckles right after it. "Thays how you say it on earth, right?" He wonders, and you turn a bit, looking at him.

"Depends." You say, chin on his chest while his hand runs over your head, coming to rest on your lower back where your tail is just about to begin. "What do you wanna say?" You ask, and he hums as he thinks.

"I asked Seokjin if he knew an earth-expression for deep emotional care and longing. A word or sentence to make sure your mate knows how much you want to stay close to them, both physically and any other way." He says, and you blush, turning your head to the side on his chest.

"Hm, guess that's love, yeah." You nod. "How do you say it here?" You wonder, and he smiles, hand running up and down your back.

"I commit my life to you." He says softly, hand still before you look up at him. "Thats what we say here- and that's what I say to you." He mumbles, and you can't help but stare for a good moment.

Jungkook and you have been intimate before. You've told each other that you deeply care, that you're mates, that you're in a relationship. But it's the first time you ever talk about love, about something so meaningful as.. well, this. And hearing it from him in such honesty makes your heart race like never before.

"Dont just stare, little thing. Kiss me!" He playfully growls, pulling you up and closer to press his lips against yours, laughing along with you as you roll around in the sheets, getting lost in love and happiness together.

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Humans would look at you both in absolute confusion if they saw you like this, you think to yourself.

Freshly showered and dressed in comfortable clothes, you're halfway laying on the fluffy carpet on the floor, and also somewhat in Jungkook's lap. Well- your butt is in his lap, legs and upper body not- but he's positioned you like this himself, and you've got snacks and TV, so you don't complain.

He's humming the tune of the commercial playing to himself as he brushes out your tail with gentle strokes of the specially designed hybrid brush- your eyes growing heavy with tiredness after the things you've been up to not even an hour prior. Your neck and thighs still sting a little faintly from his lovebites he leaves every time you both make love. You don't mind them though, not one bit.

"Will you be okay later?" He asks, referring to when he'll put you to bed, while he'll go to work later. Jungkook would love to have you sleep close to him at all times- but sometimes, like today, he just forgets that you're not nocturnal like he is, and while you've adjusted somewhat to that, he should've saved up his physical acts of loving you for after he's done working, considering how much be tends to tire you out with that. He teases you a lot about that, but its also another endearing thing to him.

You never complain about anything. You adapt freely to his way of living- so he's doing the best he can to make it all as easy for you as he can.

You nod at his question, yawning as if reminded of your exhaustion, and he chuckles, hand smacking your butt playfully, causing you to whine in complaint- the skin still a little tender from earlier. "Sorry." He says- but you know he's not.

You stretch and turn on his lap, and he smiles watching you, hand running over your exposed stomach, before he leans in to kiss one of his bites at your neck. "Hm I don't wanna leave you here.." he complains a little, moving around to pull you properly on his thighs, though you just hug him, head leaning against his shoulder. "And you're freshly marked up too. Won't have to worry one bit about someone trying to steal you away from me " He purrs, and you just shrug, clinging onto him. "We could take the round bed I bought with us to my studio. Hm? You could always sleep there then, when I'm working." He offers, and you nod after a moment.

He laughs, before he gets up, puts you on the sofa for a moment to get everything ready for his plan. It's a great idea- that way, you'll be comfortable just like at home, and he'll have you close and won't have to worry about you.

When he later comes to work with both you and the round pet bed in a bag, his coworker just shakes his head with a slight smile, already used to the younger alien's actions from years of experience. You easily fall asleep under blankets he places over you after setting up the bed in the corner you choose for yourself, and he already knows he feels a lot better like this, knowing he'll be able to look after you more properly this way.

When his first client comes in, Jungkook explains that you're his- that you're his mate, not just a companion or pet as humans call it, and the young man is understanding.

"I've been visiting the carecenter in the capital." The man named Jimin says, as Jungkook puts down the tracing paper on his back. "I'm worried though- online research made it seem as if Algol isn't a good environment for them.." he mumbles, and Jungkook shrugs.

"She's perfectly healthy, and has been living here for more than two full cycles. Yeah, their circadian rhythm can sometimes make things a bit tricky, but I've gotten used to handling it whenever necessary." He explains, making sure to do his work properly. "You'll have to really study what they can and can't eat though. A lot of vegetables we eat here are poisonous to them, and some of them can't digest dairy well." He offers.

Jimin sighs. "That sounds intimidating." He huffs almost disappointed, watching you roll over in your sleep, tail limp as you're out like a light. "But they seem like such good company."

"They are." Jungkook agrees. "She's probably the best fitting mate I could've ever found." The artist shrugs, beginning to tattoo.

"I mean, they did mention in research that earth-hybrids and Xiro people are surprisingly very compatible, even in genetics." He informs the younger alien. "Have you heard of the couple that recently became parents? And the child is perfectly healthy too."

"Hmhm, I've heard." He nods. "Maybe it'll help our declining birth rates, at least a little."

"Have you thought about having one with her?" Jimin asks, and Jungkook nods.

"One day, probably. We both want that. But not right now. There's no rush." He says as he follows the lines he'd prepared on the skin of the older man.

"Understandable." Jimin nods.

And Jungkook doesn't stop softly smiling as he works, and thinks about your future together.

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#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook x reader #hybrid reader #hybrid imagine #hybrid au #alien jungkook #alien!jungkook

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nnnyxie · 4 months

Text

i love you! i mean it!

holidays are perfect for romancing. unfortunately for him, he isn’t the best at it. (kageyama tobio)

warnings; light swearing

sfw, gender neutral

kageyama was a rather odd person. not in a weird or bad way, per se but— in a way that makes you confused as to how he’s had friends for this long.

aka, he’s socially inept.

which is why it makes ‘romancing’ you so much more difficult.

he isn’t the best with words, that’s very clear. he has a hard time with physical affection, mainly because he didn’t get much of it as a child. he isn’t great with gift giving, especially since he has only ever gotten volleyball supplies for christmas (aside from the gifts you make him). really, the best he could do was spend his quiet times with you,

which was more than enough— you enjoy his presence.

now— when kageyama asks things, he usually isn’t very clear with it. such as right now, he’s asking you on a date, yet—

“do you wanna uh… like— hang out? after my practice…” —it’s not very clear that he is.

“oh, yeah. that sounds good!” you smiled, thinking that this was a friendly hang out. which was nice but, slightly disappointing.

“i’ll pick you up then,” he said with a blush, that goes unnoticed.

—

“so what did you have in mind?” you ask as the two of you make your way out of your apartment complex. “well… i heard they’re doing something downtown— we could check it out.” he was fiddling with his fingers. it was weird to you (a little cute too). kageyama isn’t really the type to get nervous.

“you look very nice, by the way.” he spoke quietly, and chewed his bottom lip. “oh! thank you, tobio. you do as well,” you smiled a bit. he isn’t really the type to give compliments, you’ve known this since high school— so, having him say that sent warmth to throughout your chest.

downtown was beautiful. there were lights hanging upon poles, wreathes hanging on store doors, food and hot chocolate stands scattered along the sidewalk— there was even an ice skating rink in between the large space of two buildings. it wasn’t something you were used to. you never really did things like this as a kid or teenager. your family was more of the ‘stay in, ba-humbug’ type. they hardly decorated the house and only gave out a couple of presents. which was lovely but, seeing other families do big holidays made you feel jealous.

anyways— you were happy to be experiencing this with kageyama. honestly, he’s the only one you’d want to see this all with.

“do you want hot chocolate before we go anywhere else?” kageyama asks, he’s stopped fiddling this his fingers. instead, they’re by his sides. “yeah, that sounds good. marshmallows on top?” you smiled excitedly. he gave a nod and nervously took your hand.

—

when getting the drinks, he fumbled with his wallet— dropping it at least 3 times. then, when grabbing the drinks, he accidentally squeezed too hard and spilt them everywhere— he asked for a couple more since he did that but— they refused, saying that he had to pay for them again. which, he ended up doing.

after finishing the drinks (and dying of embarrassment), he decided to take you to the ice rink down the block— he thought that he could redeem himself there.

he didn’t.

instead, he slipped 27 times.

and on the 28th— he fell hard on his head.

“tobio— oh my god! are you okay!?” you rushed to help him up. he groaned, rubbing the back of his head. “that shit hurt…”

“holy shit— you’re bleeding!” you rushed to get him up and helped him out the rink. “do they have a nurse station?” you asked aloud to yourself, looking all around.

since there appeared to be none— you decided to rush to the emergency room, praying that it wouldn’t take hours for him to be seen.

—

kageyama was now sat on a hospital bed, wearing the cheap scrubs the hospital provided. the top of his head was wrapped up and he held a frown.

“hey, this kind of stuff happens to a lot of people. don’t feel so embarrassed, tobio.” you sat next to him on the bed and he sighed.

“it’s not that i’m embarrassed— well, i am. but— i just ruined the entire afternoon. i ruined our date.” he put his face into his hands—

your eyes buldged at this, “date? what do you mean?” he looks up at you a nods, “our date. i ruined it.” “tobio, we were on a date!?” you asked, very shocked and embarrassed (at yourself). “yes? i asked you this morning…” he tilted his head slightly. like a puppy. “no, you asked to hang out.” “is it not the same thing?” you laughed, “not exactly, no.” he says a small ‘oh’ and looks towards the floor, frowning a little. “so does this mean you didn’t want it to be a date?” “no! no, i did! i do! i’m just surprised, is all.”

“well i’ll be clear the next time.”

‘twas a teensy nervous abt this tbh

be sure to check out my christmas event!

#haikyuu x reader #kageyama tobio x reader #kageyama x reader #tobio kageyama x reader #hq x reader #/ᐠ - ˕ -マ works — ♡︎#ᓚᘏᗢ events ᗢᘏᓗ

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xiaosonlybeloved · 4 months

Text

Promises- Xiao

featuring:- Xiao, gn!reader tags:- fluff only (...again.) a/n:- ughhh this is only for new year i swear not again. as usual, not proofread and whoo im back to writing for genshin!

wc:- 0.9k || masterlists

Xiao stood silently on the terrace of Wangshu Inn, watching the hustle-bustle of the mortals, lost in thoughts. It would be midnight in an hour or two, and with it would come the beginning of another new year.

Xiao didn’t get all the excitement these mortals created around New Year. Nevertheless, as usual, he did his job to protect Liyue every night.

He was staring at the brightly-lit scenery in front of him, countless stars twinkling above and all sorts of lanterns burning bright below, when he felt a familiar presence come up to him. And a rare small smile graces his pretty face, when he sees you stand next to him with a grin. “Enjoying the view? The celebrations this time are even more festive than last time.” You ask.

“I don’t see the point in these activities. Perhaps these mortals have nothing better to do.” He scoffed, although there was no sting in his words.

Often Xiao wondered how he had been so lucky to find someone as extraordinary as you. You- kind, caring, empathetic, understanding, and yet you could also be ruthless, merciless and fierce when it came to protecting your loved ones. You, who stayed with him all of this long time, never once abandoning him, even when he came home exhausted, covered in blood, late into the night. It couldn’t have been easy, to put up with him all this time, and yet you did. And when you passionately told him that you’d always stay with him, no matter what, he could somehow believe your reassuring words. Sometimes, no, often, Xiao felt like he did not deserve you, not knowing that you felt the same way. After all, he was one of the great adepti, and incredibly reserved and antisocial. How you’d managed to get him out of his shell, not even you knew. But oh well, enough of all that. It is New Year after all.

“Alright, alright, Mr Adeptus.” you laughed jokingly. “Come on, I have somewhere I wanna take you to.” Sensing his hesitance, you add, “Don’t worry, I’ve made sure no one’s there. Its pretty secluded, so it’ll be just the two of us. Its my surprise for you for New Year’s.” And again, he falls a bit more for you like he does everyday, at your care for him, something he’s undeserving of. (In his opinion- you would beg to differ.)

So you two set off, with Xiao following your lead, silently admiring you from behind. The atmosphere between you is quite comfortable as you hold his hands easily, leading him through some forest to a hilltop. Judging by the lights and the activity they could see in the distant Harbor, the clock was close to striking twelve, and you hurry him through the final stretch before they emerge into a familiar clearing.

“Remember this place, Xiao?” you ask with a grin. He nods in response, looking around the place where he first met you, where his life completely changed for the better. “How could I ever forget it.” He murmurs, looking around at the decorations you’ve set up here. There was a small hut here, and you ‘d put up lights on it and the surrounding trees. In addition, there’s also a comfy picnic blanket and homemade food. Everything here has a little touch of you, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Again, a comfortable silence falls between you two as you rest on the blanket, overlooking the bustling Harbor, occasionally munching on some goodies (aka you stuffing food in his mouth because he refused to eat.) As the fireworks go up throughout the Harbor together, illuminating the sky brighter than the stars, you lean against him as you take his hand and put something in it. He carefully holds it as if it’s a valuable treasure (Which it is- anything given to him by you is), seeing a beautiful pendant that matches his attire. “..Did you get this for me?” He asks softly, touched by your gesture. “No, I made this for you as your New Year gift.” You respond quietly. “Should I put it on for you if you want?” “Yes, please.” After a bit, he says, “Thank you so much.” You merely smiled as you finished clasping the pendant behind his neck, and then backhugged him.

He speaks up again. “I… also have something I made for you. It’s not as good as what you gave me, but it’s an adepti protection bracelet. It could help you out sometime.” He cautiously puts the mentioned item into your hands, and he thinks the effort he put into making it is completely worth it when he sees the beautiful smile on your face as you immediately put it on, admiring it.

You spend the rest of the night on that hilltop where everything began, watching the celebrations of a new start, a new chance far below, in each other’s loving company, with the promise of a long and happy future ahead.

Reblogs, votes and comments are very much appreciated <3

#genshin impact #genshin #xiao #genshin xiao #skylia's works #genshin imagines #genshin fanfic #genshin drabbles #genshin oneshots #adeptus xiao #xiao genshin impact #xiao x reader #xiao fluff #genshin fluff #happy new year #alatus #xiao x you #xiao x reader fluff #oh gods this is so shitty but nvm

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millersdjarin · 1 year

Text

I Only See Daylight

Chapter One

Pairing: Din Djarin x F!Reader

Series: Ongoing, set after The Mandalorian season two

Warnings/Tags (Overall): eventual smut, post-canon, trauma, past emotional/physical abuse, scars, self-doubting/negative self-image, din working out his shit, reader working out her shit, found family, injury, religious trauma, cults

~series masterlist & info~

chapter tags/warnings: mentions of past trauma/emotional abuse

chapter length: 6.8k

notes: this planet and its creatures are entirely made up by me, it does not exist, hope u like it anyway :) the fic title is from "daylight" by taylor swift, aka the soundtrack for this fic ❤️

my love was as cruel as the cities i lived in; everyone looked worse in the light

Ah, the smells and sounds of a backwater planet in the morning.

Dewy grass underfoot and damp moss lining the bases of trees. Birds chirping on the tall branches, bright green leaves shaking gently in the wind, the sound rustling through the air. The scent of the nearby flowers, the running of the river beside your hut, the hissing of an engine and the smell of burning metal…

Wait.

That’s…not the smell of this backwater planet in the morning.

You’ve just had a small breakfast, fruit picked from the meiloorun trees a few miles West, when the strange sounds and smells suddenly hit you.

It’s concerning, to say the least. No one is around for hundreds of klicks; not a hint of civilisation, not a whiff of a trade route until you reach the other side of the planet.

You chose this place for a kriffing reason. No one’s here. No one’s even near. Despite the sparse covering of meiloorun trees in an overgrown meadow, there’s no reason for anyone to be here. No reason for a ship to land nearby, that’s for sure.

Unless…

No time to think.

There are footsteps approaching.

Shit.

Your sniper rifle is by the door to your hut, blaster by your pillow. One for hunting food, one for self defence.

One that you’ve never had to use before now. Not since arriving here, anyway.

Well, first time for everything.

You grab it, and press yourself against the wall by your door, slowing your breathing so you can listen closely. The footsteps get closer; they’re muffled on the grassy ground, but getting louder, and it’s definitely a two-legged being of some kind. Just one.

You’d have thought that if They had found you, They would bring the whole damn lot along to take you back. An army, a garrison, outnumbering and overpowering you in every way.

But maybe not. They’re cunning, manipulative. Maybe sending just one of them, sending him, is a tactic. Maybe They think it would break you down; make you vulnerable again.

Well, whoever it is is walking carefully, slowly. Like every step could be putting a foot wrong.

There is, of course, the possibility that they’re not here for you at all, and are just going to bypass your hut without a second thought. A very minute possibility; you are the only sentient being here, your hut the only sign of someone’s life. It’s the best place to hide, somewhere where no one ever goes, because no one needs or wants to. The flora and fauna isn’t ideal, there are no useful resources for trading, and only just enough for one careful person to survive on.

But that chance of someone being here not for you is squashed when you peer out of the window on the door and realise that, yes, there is a figure emerging from the woods in front of your hut, and, yes, that is the shine of the barrel of a blaster.

Kriff.

They’ve found you.

You could run. There’s a back door you built specifically for this.

But if there’s only one out front, then it’s definitely some kind of manipulation tactic. There will be more nearby. They’ll be waiting in the back, having taught you themselves to always have a back route to escape, and they’ll grab you before you can even think twice.

The only option is to try and reason with him. To try and use his own tricks against him. To manipulate him into thinking you’re doing what he wants, and then use his weakness to get away.

It’s never worked before.

But it’s the only option you’ve got.

Creaking open your front door, you point your blaster around the frame, followed closely by your left eye. You expect to see a human face, bearded, white skin and bright blue eyes. Familiar. So familiar you can never fucking forget it.

But, instead, all you see is blinding silver.

No, not silver. Not even durasteel. You don’t know what it’s made of, but it’s armour, a lot of it, shining brightly in the morning sunlight. It’s complete with a helmet, also that strange type of silver metal, with a black T-shaped Visor across the eyes and cutting down the front. A gloved hand is holding up a blaster not dissimilar to your own, though the person looks hesitant, only holding it as a caution, as they approach your hut in the same way.

“Get back!” You shout.

The armour stops.

People don’t normally actually stop when you tell them to. So, you’re not sure what to do next.

(You were expecting to shoot, but honestly, you’re not sure what good it could possibly do past that armour. What is that stuff, anyways?)

“Leave now,” you demand, “this is your warning. I will shoot you.”

The hand holding the blaster lifts, very pointedly bringing their finger off the trigger. They hold up both of their hands, in surrender. “I’m not here to harm you,” a voice comes through the helmet, modulated and most likely male. He’s speaking quietly, so measured and calm that you wonder if the helmet does that for him.

“You need to leave!” You say again, gaining enough confidence now that his blaster is not pointed at you to put your whole head around the door. Now both of your eyes are on him, you see the entirety of his armour. He is absolutely armed to the fucking teeth, probably not even needing a blaster to kill you in a breath. There’s a rifle on his back. A satchel is slung over his shoulder, but you can’t see the bag itself as it sits over his back.

The shape and design of his helmet is familiar to you, distantly, something in your brain ringing when you see it. But you can’t quite put your finger on it, and it’s not important right now.

“I can’t do that,” he says, measuredly calm again.

“Who are you? What do you want?”

A pause. He still has his hands in the air, but after seeing the amount of weapons he has strapped to him, it’s not all that comforting. “My ship crashed,” he says after an uncomfortably long time, like he wishes he didn’t have to say it. “I was hoping to find somewhere to buy parts.”

You huff out a laugh. “Good luck with that,” you say. Subtly, and with your blaster still aimed at him, you get another look at him. With his hands up, his satchel is starting to slip around his body. You get a glimpse at the very edge of the bag. Whatever is in there is heavy, and you’re not about to take the risk that it’s something dangerous. “You need to leave. You can’t be here.”

“Is there a town nearby that you can direct me to?” He asks. “I tried looking at the map, but it must have been corrupted…”

You laugh again, rolling your eyes. “It’s not corrupted. There’s nothing on this side of the planet.”

Another pause. “But you’re here.”

Alright. Either They have sent some random, terrifying guy to lure you into a false sense of security, or he is just genuinely lost.

You’re just about to lower your blaster, to give him the bad news that he’s going to have to travel half way around the planet if he ever wants to get off it, when two things happen at once.

First, the satchel slips all the way around. You jump at first, but soon, the bag itself is moving, and something pops out from the top of it. Something…alive. Something green, wrinkled, with ears as big as its head and deep, dark eyes almost as large too.

You frown. A kid?

Not enough time to process the fact that this seems to be a father who has got himself stranded, because suddenly you see something else in the satchel, sticking out from one of the front pockets with a blinking light and a beeping that you can hear from here.

A tracking fob.

Your heart rate shoots up, blood suddenly rushing through your ears so you can’t hear anything but that. You flick the safety off your blaster, aim it stronger at him, look through the scope with one eye. “Get out of here, bounty hunter, or I swear I’ll shoot you where that armour can’t protect you.”

The child—why the fuck does a bounty hunter have a child?—coos, seeming concerned, and looks up at the armoured man like he’ll have an answer.

The man himself has his blaster aimed at you again, and you didn’t even see him move to point it. Kriff. He’s fucking good.

They put a bounty on you. Fuck, They wanted you back that badly.

“I said leave!” You cry, feeling tears of both fear and betrayal sting at the backs of your eyes. You try desperately to swallow them down. “Take that tracking fob, and leave, or I swear to the Maker—”

Your words seem to startle him, and he drops his blaster once more, the helmet tilting down towards where the fob is sticking out of his bag. “No, no, it’s not—this isn’t for you!” He says, sounding more hurried now than he had when his hands were up and you were about to shoot him. He fishes the fob out. “This isn’t yours. See, it’s not telling me I’m close to my target. Look.” He holds it out towards you.

A quick glance tells you that he’s not lying about that. The lights aren’t blinking right.

You hesitate. Your heart is still beating wildly in your chest, so hard that it feels like it might jump out and run away from this entire situation. Which, you couldn’t blame it.

You wish you could do the same.

“You really just crashed here?” You ask, your blaster-wielding arm twitching.

“Yes,” he answers.

You look at the child. “The kid yours?”

“I…yes. Yes, he’s mine.”

A frown creases at your forehead, both concerned and curious. “No one’s surrounding us? No one going to jump out and take me?”

“…No,” he says. Something in the tilt of his helmet comes across as amusement.

It’s not funny.

But he has a kid. Someone sent here to kill you wouldn’t have brought a kid.

Well, probably not. Though knowing Them, you wouldn’t necessarily put anything past them.

Not without hesitation, you lower your arm. Flick the safety back on, but keep your finger on it, ready to flick it back at a moment’s notice. “You crashed onto the wrong planet,” you say, stepping further into the doorway. You can’t see his eyes, but it feels like they’re on you, taking you in now he can see you. “I meant it when I said there’s nothing until you get to the other side.”

He observes you. “Can you help me?”

You sigh. It’s been a long time since you had any kind of human contact—well, you assume he’s human—and it’s already becoming too much. A tiny, corrupt part of you says, No, you can’t help him. Send him on his way. A part of you that is either there for self preservation, or a part that They put in you from a young, young age.

It’s a part that you have never listened to. Not once.

And you’re not about to start now.

“I can give you food and water,” you say, eyeing the kid curiously, wondering if it even eats or drinks, “and I can tell you more about this place. Maybe even help with the ship. But I haven’t got a way for you to get to the city.”

He seems to relax a little. Tentatively, and still holding his hands halfway up, he steps closer. “Thank you,” he says. “Thank you very much.”

He sounds so sincere, so genuine, that it takes you by surprise. Because, really, he’s quite terrifying. Just this big, looming wall of steel-silver armour, covered head-to-toe in weapons, as well as ones that are no doubt hidden, too. You can’t see his face or read him at all. He walks so casually, like he’s meant to be here. Like this is normal.

And there’s a fucking green child strapped to him, the likes of which you’ve never seen before.

“Please, sit,” you say, gesturing to the table and chairs you have set up under the awning that stretches from your hut’s roof. “Are you hungry?”

“The kid is. We have supplies on our ship, but it’s a few miles away…”

You raise an eyebrow. He doesn’t sit down, just stands there under the shade, staring at you. “When did you crash?”

“We didn’t crash, necessarily. Just…an interesting landing.”

“Right, right, of course. But it was such an interesting landing that you can’t take off again?”

“…That’s right.”

Before replying, you head inside and to the little kitchenette along the left wall. There’s some fruit there and a little of the bread you made last week. You gather it, along with a knife and some plates, and take them out to the man.

“Well, I don’t know much about mechanical stuff,” you shrug, putting it all down on the table, “but I’ll do what I can to help.”

He still doesn’t move to sit down, or even towards the table. The child careens towards the food, though, reaching out little clawed, three-fingered hands.

The man just stares at you. You wonder why. What he’s staring so much for. Is there something particularly puzzling about you? Something he doesn’t understand?

“Thank you,” he says eventually. “For your generosity.”

Yeah, well. Again, you gesture to the table, and finally he follows. He sits down and puts the kid on the bench beside him, giving his nose an affectionate little rub before he turns to the table and breaks a bit off the bread. The kid is reaching for it as he hands it over, and the way his little green mouth starts biting at it is adorable.

“So,” you say, “who are you?”

The helmet looks back at you again. Even out of the sunlight, it’s still a piercing, shining silver. “People call me Mando,” he says after a beat.

You frown. “Mando,” you repeat, mostly to yourself. “As in, Mandalorian?”

He seems to startle a little, pausing as he cuts the fruit into kid-sized squares. “You know about the Mandalorians?”

“Doesn’t everyone?”

A noise comes through the helmet. You could swear it sounds like a breathy laugh. He shakes his head and looks back to the fruit in front of him. “Depends what you know.”

“Uh, let’s see,” you sit down on the chair opposite him, across the table. “A race of warriors, proud of their heritage, destroyed by the Empire…”

He tenses. Stops again, and looks up.

Kriff.

“Sorry,” you say quickly, “sorry. It’s…been a while since I talked to another person. That was insensitive.”

After yet another long, indiscernible stare, he gets back to work. Silence passes for a minute, long and uncomfortable as anxiety roils in your stomach. You always say the wrong fucking thing, don’t you? Always making things worse, always fucking things up…

“Well, you’re right,” his modulated voice breaks through your quickly spiralling thoughts. “The Empire destroyed most of us.” Grief laces his voice, heavy like you imagine the armour on him must be.

It twigs, then. His armour. Mandalorian. The shape of his helmet.

That’s where you recognise it from.

You want to ask, want to hear more about his people, about what happened. Before coming here, you knew a lot about the different cultures in the Galaxy; last you heard, the Empire was gone, and the New Republic was being built. But you don’t know anything about the Mandalorians except that they were all wiped out—or, so you thought.

He starts handing little cubes of yellow fruit to the kid, who coos and accepts them happily.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” You ask him, curious.

“No, thank you.”

A frown tugs at your forehead. Maybe he’s not human. “Do you…do you eat?”

“What?”

“I mean…do you need to eat?”

“I—yes, I need to eat. I’m human,” he adds on, like he’s realised my unasked question.

Okay, good. Not that it would have been bad if he’d not been human. But the way his broad shoulders look under the armour, the solidity of his thighs, the way his gloved fingers are flexing around the fruit, shiny with juice, working deftly…

You shake yourself from your thoughts. You literally just met this man, and you know that he’s a bounty hunter. You need to stop.

Speaking of, “So did you come here for a bounty?”

He looks up again, and something about the way he startles comes across as surprise. Pleasant or unpleasant surprise, you’re not sure, but either way, he looks surprised that you asked that.

“No,” he says.

“How badly damaged is your ship?” Recalling the smell of burning engine oil, you prop your foot up on one of the table’s legs, the soles of your boot gripping to the wood. Sunlight is streaming through the coarse fabric of the awning above you, casting tiny slivers of golden beams across all three of you. It shimmers in his armour, and he looks just a little magical. The kid is gazing up at the twinkling lights above him. It looks like the canvas is covered in golden stars, flitting as trees rustle between the fabric and the sunlight.

“I can probably fix it myself. At least enough to get me somewhere that has parts.”

“Hyperdrive blown?”

“Yes,” he says. “How’d you know?”

“I could smell it,” you say. It’s been a long time since you smelled that, but it’s ingrained in your memory, all sour and oily.

“The hyperdrive blew, and it damaged the engine. I only just got us down safely.”

“So probably a little body damage too, then.” I ponder, wondering if there’s any way we can find parts that he might need. There’s a scrap heap a little way off—definitely not as far as the other side of the kriffing planet—left there by, presumably, the last people unfortunate enough to crash here.

“I thought you didn’t know about mechanics?” He asks, something in his voice quirking, the same tilt of his helmet that you thought was amusement earlier.

“I have a little knowledge. Are you sure you’re not hungry?”

He shakes his head.

“Alright.”

And it’s not a good idea to offer him the kind of help you’re thinking of offering. It’s not. He’s a bounty hunter, very clearly dangerous, and he’s also the first person you’ve seen since you left Them.

You don’t trust people easily. You used to. But you don’t anymore.

But he has a kid. And if you don’t help him, he’s going to be stuck here forever, unless he’s happy to take the year-long journey of going to the other side of the planet. You came here for solitude, for safety. To not have to trust people.

That won’t work if he’s going to have to stay here.

And, who knows? Maybe he’ll try and kill you for food in the end. By the looks of him, he could.

You sigh to yourself.

Because even despite all that, despite the fact that the only remotely good reason to help him out is to try and stop yourself getting eaten, you’d still help him anyway.

That’s who you are. You didn’t let Them make you anything else. Swore you would never.

“Well,” you say, having made up your mind, “there’s a scrap heap a fifty klicks West of here. It’ll take a couple days of travelling on foot to get there, but it might have what you need.”

He nods. “I could probably get there. Can you mark it on a map?”

You haven’t seen a map in years. In fact, you only know this place by its terrain. By its land under your feet, the trees above you. “No,” you say. “But I can come with you.”

He stares. “You don’t have to do that.”

“If you ever want to get off this planet, yes, I do,” you say with a smirk. What you don’t say is, And I want you to leave. Despite the fact that you’ve got really lovely shoulders and a cute baby. “Assuming you actually need parts. Can you fix what you need to fix with what you’ve got?”

He sighs. “Probably not,” he says. “It’s a new ship. I don’t…know it as well as my others.”

I quirk an eyebrow. “You have others?”

“Had,” he corrects. “I have had others.”

“Hm. Alright, well, I’ll help you, if you’ll accept my help. Just don’t point a blaster at me again.”

There’s that sound again, a little huff, like a laugh. “I’ll ask the same of you,” he says, “if you would.”

“Mm…I’m already doing you a pretty big favour,” you tease, smirking and patting the blaster that sits at your hip, “I’ll think about it.”

You’re not really big on babies. They’re messy, sticky, demanding, and loud.

But this one is really very cute.

He’s got hold of your finger, and is squeezing it gently between his little fingers. Mando tells you that his name is Grogu, and the first time you call him it, his big green ears twitch along with a tilt of his head.

It probably wasn’t all that wise to let Mando stay the night. Even though he and the kid slept outside in your hiking tent, and you kept the front door locked, you know that he could have without a doubt gotten inside to kill you. Or worse.

But he didn’t.

All that happens is that, when you wake up, he and the kid are already sitting at the table, and the little box of food that you’d left with them after sunset in case they got hungry was empty.

You’d talked with Mando a little yesterday, but mostly went about your daily routine like he wasn’t there. He seems good at that; just being still, blending in, the opposite of obtrusive. Which, you suppose, is what makes a good bounty hunter. At least the type that likes to do it with minimal mess.

Still, you’re curious about him. He sat outside all day with the kid, even took him for a walk to the nearby creek in the late afternoon. It’s so strange to see such contrast in him: the cold, hard exterior of his armour, something so impenetrable and immovable; and then the soft way he handles the kid, the way he bounces him on his hip, shows him magic tricks, picks him up when his little hands reach out for him.

There are a lot of questions on your tongue. Why and how he has the kid, where he came from, where the rest of his people are, how the kriff are you such a gentle person when you’re also the scariest pillar of metal I’ve ever seen?

You keep them to yourself.

You wouldn’t want anyone asking questions about you. (Hence why you’re here in the first place, but.) So you don’t ask the same of him.

The morning after he arrived here, the three of you set off for the scrap heap. Your backpack slung over your back, filled with blankets, rations, flasks, and sleeping mats. Mando carries a bag that you gave him, though most of the bulk is your hiking tent.

It’s only when you’re a half hour into the forest that you realise you’ve only got one tent.

Three sleeping mats for the floor, yes. Three sets of blankets, yes.

But one kriffing tent.

Well, you think, we can take sleep watch shifts anyway.

The sun is warm this morning, but not too hot; just a comfortable heat on your skin as you walk through the thick forest, climbing over fallen trees and winding, gnarled roots that stick up from the ground. It’s mostly dry earth underfoot, some moss glistening on rocks, a few tufts of grass sprouting beneath pillars of light that shine through the treetops.

Mando isn’t much of a talker, you’re realising. And you can’t decide if you like that or not.

The kid is always babbling, though. He’s got his head sticking out of Mando’s satchel again, and he’s looking around slowly, his mouth slightly open and big eyes wide as he takes in his surroundings. You wonder if he’s ever seen anywhere like this; where the two of them may have been together. You don’t even know what species he is—he could be from somewhere like this. A planet with a warm, mildly humid climate during the spring.

You’re coming up on one of the large valleys that splits the earth, stretching down into a deep cavern filled with rushing water coming from the tall waterfall beside it. You can hear the water before you see any sign of it.

“We’re coming to the waterfall valley,” you explain, “there’s a fallen tree over the chasm that we can use as a bridge.”

Wordless, Mando nods in acknowledgement.

The fallen tree that bridges the gap between sides of the river is giant, both in length and width, with more than enough room to comfortably walk across it in a single-file line. It was probably thousands of years old before it fell. The roots snapped at its base, leaving gnarled and sharp splints of wood curling up into the air and surrounding foliage. On the other side, its branches are bare, the leaves having died and fallen off long ago, and the branches are anchored into the ground after years of being covered by it.

“It looks mossy,” Mando says as you step up onto it first. “Watch your step.”

He’s right; the spray of water constantly shooting up into the air from the waterfall has made for a nice home for moss, glistening in dark green florets along the top, with longer water weeds hanging from the underside.

It could be slippy, but you’ve walked across it many times, and you’re used to it. It’s the only way to the fruit trees in the overgrown meadow. There’s almost a path worn across it, though not quite; the moss grows back far too enthusiastically to stay away.

Grogu is cooing as you cross. You don’t look back at him lest you lose your footing, but you can imagine that he’s gazing around with that same wonder on his face.

It is pretty. This whole area is pretty. Serene, if you don’t count the various wildlife that can often be just a little hostile. There are birds of prey that swoop down from the impossibly small treetops sometimes; yellow and red lizards that skitter along the forest floor, their tails, complete with stinger, thrashing threateningly into the air as they run past. As long as you keep an ear out, though, it’s alright.

“I don’t know your name,” Mando’s voice, calm through his helmet, cuts into your thoughts once you’ve crossed. He’s fallen into step beside you, one of his hands absently pressed against the kid’s back.

You glance at him, uncertain. Technically, you don’t know his name. So, really, it’s only fair that your answer is, “No, you don’t.”

His helmet tilts as he huffs out a laugh. “Alright. Guess I’m not going to?”

“Tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine,” you challenge, raising a teasing eyebrow at him.

He laughs again. You wonder how often he does that. He seems to live a pretty serious life, with what little information you have on him. But the kid is adorable, and there’s bound to be several times a day where he laughs at his cuteness, surely. “Alright. Fair enough.”

“There’s a river up ahead. I’m going to fill my flask.” You gesture to the approaching clearing where a river cuts through the forest floor, a few metres wide, deeper than it looks.

“Can we cross it?”

“We’ll have to get our feet wet, but yes. And watch out for the water snails.”

“The what?”

“They live in the riverbed. If your foot lingers too long, they’ll crawl on you and suck you down into the sand. Oh, and then there’s the stinging lizards that live in the brush on each side.”

The helmet tilts to look at you, and something about his body language comes across as incredulity. “Safe planet you got here,” he says, dry.

The surprise of hearing him make a sarcastic comment catches in a laugh in your throat, bubbling out without permission. “It is safe,” you counter, smiling at him even though he’s not looking at you anymore, “no one else around kind of has that effect.”

“If there’s nothing on this side of the planet,” he says, “why are you here?”

A cold stab of dread shoots through your stomach. Quickly, you push it away, forcing the thoughts out of your mind that want to come in and race around until you feel dizzy. To cover up your slight falter, you clear your throat as you step out into the river’s clearing. “How about I don’t ask you about you, and you don’t ask me about me?”

He stops beside you when you lean down to fill your flask from the rapidly running river water. For a moment, he just observes you, quiet. It’s strange to be able to feel someone’s gaze so strongly when you can’t even see their face, their eyes. “Deal,” he says.

Satisfied, you stand up straight again, and gesture to the shallower part of the river a few feet to the right. He follows as you step into the water. You keep your steps light and quick, scanning the riverbed for any sign of those metallic-brown molluscs that masquerade as innocent rocks.

The thing with the snails is that they don’t actually want anything with you. They don’t eat you. They just pull you down into the sand because it’s their instinct. You get stuck, and sink until you drown in the water or the riverbed itself. When one sticks to your foot, the entire swarm of them joins in, and it’s nearly impossible to escape if you don’t catch it quickly enough. Your only hope in that situation is that the blue shindl birds will come and eat the snails before their numbers are too many.

You make it to the other side quickly enough, and turn to watch Mando copying the lightness of your steps. It’s quite amusing, actually, to see this heavily armoured, heavy-booted man taking light footsteps like he’s standing on ground too hot for his feet. The kid laughs from his place in the satchel, and you watch in amusement.

That is, until, there’s a loud swoop coming from the sky above you, accompanied by a Squalk!

A shindl bird, bigger than your own body, swoops just metres above you, dipping so low down towards the river that you can feel the downdraft from its giant, pale white and blue feathered wings.

On instinct, Mando freezes in his tracks, covering the kid with one hand and reaching for his blaster with the other.

“Don’t shoot it!” You shout hastily, watching as he tracks the bird flying down the length of the river with his blaster’s scope. The bird turns around, heading back to you. “They’re just looking for the snails to eat!”

Mando ignores you, too busy clutching the kid to his side.

“Mando, you need to move! The snails!”

This time, he doesn’t ignore you; but he does only have a second to look back at you before he’s trying to move, to bring his feet out from the riverbed, but one of them is stuck.

Kriff, he’s stuck.

His visor turns down to his feet. He tugs his left leg, trying to walk forward on it.

“Oh, for kriff’s sake,” you curse, reaching for your own blaster. He’s not sinking yet, but you can already see the large snail on his foot through the water, and more are coming to life beneath the surface, slowly making their way to him.

The shindl swoops overhead again, lower this time, clearly having spotted the snails too.

“Stay still!” You shout to Mando over the deafening sound of the bird’s wings flapping in the air.

He looks up at you and sees the blaster pointed towards his foot. “What are you doing?”

“Just hold still!” You aim through the sight, just an inch away from the edge of Mando’s foot, getting the snail’s eyes right in your crosshair.

Mando protests, saying, “Wait, no, don’t—” But he’s too late, your finger already squeezing the trigger.

The snail on his foot wilts immediately, like leafy vegetables thrown into a hot pan. Mando wastes no time in pulling on his leg again, and he only just gets himself to move in time before the rest of the snail’s colony is gaining on him and discovering the body of the early bird who got the worm—well, the foot.

He splashes out of the river towards you, still gripping the child to his side, with both hands now. Once he’s free and clear on to the riverbank, he sighs out in relief at the same time you do.

Lowering your blaster, you watch as the shindl bird swoops right down to the water and ducks its large beak down below the surface, grabbing the dead snail first. Its wings are so wide and so close that you feel the very edge of one of its feathers brush against your face.

It turns to look at the two of you before it flies up completely vertically into the sky and gives a triumphant cry.

“You might want to back up,” you tell Mando with a smirk at how he’s trying to scrape off the snail’s goo from the top of his boot. “The rest are coming.”

“The snails?”

“No. The birds.” As you reach a hand out in front of him, you back up, automatically taking him with you. He follows willingly, though he could just as easily push you away and defy your advice.

You step back into the tree line again, under the cover of the rustling branches.

Before you can even blink, suddenly an entire flock of the shindl birds is descending upon the river where Mando was once stuck, all diving in with their beaks open to pick up as many snails as they can at once.

Really, Mando did them a favour by getting stuck. The only time the snail colony comes out is when they think they’ve caught something. Otherwise, the shindl have to spend hours looking down into the water, standing still or hovering low, waiting for one to appear before them.

The flaps and squalks of the birds fills the air, and beneath it, you can hear a trill of glee coming from the kid’s satchel. Looking down, you find his hands outstretched towards the whole ordeal, flapping a little in excitement.

You chuckle. From under the cover of the trees, it’s a pretty amazing thing to see. The birds’ feathers are metallic and pearly, fading from glistening white to pale blue as the sunlight shifts over their curves and edges. They fly so gracefully despite the frantic fight to find the best snail.

The first time you got caught in one of their food grabs wasn’t as fun, though. But you learned your lesson.

“What are those things?” Mando asks. He lifts the kid from the satchel and clutches him to his breastplate, tapping comfortingly at the kid’s tummy. It’s sweet, like he’s reassuring him that everything is alright after what happened.

When you don’t answer right away, the helmet turns to look at you, waiting for an answer.

You got distracted by him, to be honest. By him and the kid. “They’re shindl birds,” you say.

He looks back to them. The flock is clearing a little now; you imagine there are only a few snails left for them to devour.

“They’re native to this planet. They really love those snails.”

“Hm.” Mando hums, and you’re not sure if it’s an acknowledgement or a laugh.

“Come on,” you say, gesturing to continue on your path, “we should move.”

“Are there more creatures out to get us?”

“Probably. But don’t worry. I’ll save you again, should you need it.”

Walking alongside you, his helmet tilts. “I can handle myself.”

“Clearly. You’re welcome, by the way.”

His sigh is not impatient or unimpressed; in fact, it sounds amused, warm. “Thank you. You did save me back there.”

“No problem. I’ve dealt with those things before.”

“I would have appreciated a warning, though.”

“I gave you a warning; I told you not to stop in the river!”

“You didn’t tell me about the birds.”

The kid laughs, lifting up one of his hands to press it against the side of Mando’s helmet.

“Well, I’m just glad you didn’t shoot them,” you say. Out of the corner of your eye as you walk side-by-side, you observe Mando, watch the kid touch the plate of metal that covers his cheekbone. You realise, then, that you don’t actually know what he looks like. He’s never taken his helmet off in front of you; not even his gloves. You don’t think you’ve even seen him have a drink.

Maybe it’s for the best, though. Because you’re finding yourself wanting to walk just a little ways behind him so you can admire the casual, commanding way that he walks, the slight swing of his hips as his hands flex at his sides. The breadth of his shoulders, emphasised by his heavy armour. His hips, the way his torso gets only a little narrower towards them, his entire frame straight and wide and beautiful.

You need to stop.

You don’t even know what he looks like.

Speaking of, “Do you want a drink?”

“I’m fine. Thanks.”

“Do you drink?”

“I told you, I’m human.”

You nod, hoping it comes across as unassuming. But there are so many questions swirling around in your head; so much that you suddenly want to know about him. He’s mysterious, you’ll give him that. Does he do it on purpose? Is it something he does to try and get people to follow him, or is he just genuinely a private person?

You’re so used to people using tactics, games to mess with you and the way you form relationships, that you never know what to believe. They used to string you along, make you chase them, make you beg for them to just see you, hear you, understand you…and then, just when you felt like you’d finally done enough for them, they’d turn it all around and shut you out again.

It was a never ending cycle.

It’s hard not to project that onto Mando. He’s the first person you’ve seen since you escaped Them. For all you know, he could be just as manipulative.

Except, unprompted, he says, “I don’t take my helmet off.”

Oh.

Okay, racing thoughts on pause: “What?”

“It’s part of my Creed. As a Mandalorian.”

“Oh,” you say as the pieces fit into place. It makes sense now, but you’re still surprised; you didn’t know that about Mandalorians. In fact, you distinctly remember meeting some when you were a child who definitely did not wear their helmet all the time. “So…you’ve never taken it off?”

He pauses, hesitating. His moment of unprompted honesty falters. “It’s complicated.”

Oh, great. It’s hard not to put bad intentions on to him when he says stuff like that. It’s complicated.

You wouldn’t understand.

You don’t get to know the secrets.

You’ve earned my trust, well done.

I never want to see you again.

You have to force yourself to stop spiralling. For a long moment there, you were no longer walking through the forest with a strange Mandalorian and his little green child. You were walking through the forest with Them. With your family. And the weight of everything they ever did.

You clear your throat, demanding yourself back into the moment. “Is it not uncomfortable?”

It must be. Especially in humid climates like this. Or maybe it’s temperature-controlled under there. The entire set of armour looks pretty swish; maybe it’s got some cool technology.

“I’m used to it,” he says, and his tone suggests that that’s the last he wants to talk about it.

So, you’re quiet again.

You focus on the ground crunching underfoot, the tiny birds whistling in the trees.

You’re not back there. Mando isn’t Them.

You’re safe.

You’re okay.

notes: i'm REALLY excited to finally be posting this fic! i hope you enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. all interactions are appreciated, but comments and reblogs especially make my day ❤️ updates will be regular!

i'm going to make a taglist for this fic so if you wanna be on it, drop me an ask or reply to this post!

take care of yourself ❤️

#din djarin #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #the mandalorian imagine #din djarin imagine #star wars fanfiction #din djarin fanfiction #my post #my fic: mando #my fic #i only see daylight

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toulousewayne · 6 months

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Batfamily Halloween Special🎃

Bruce was throwing his annual Halloween Costume Party, and let every year all the kids always dress up. Most of kids weren’t in the Manor as they would arrive later to join in the spooky festivities.

Alfred was overseeing the staff with last minute decorations. Fake blood, cobwebs, fake skulls, fog machine. Anything you could find at your local Spirt Halloween Alfred had gotten to first. The DJ was finishing his last few technical checks and the catering company was always done with the last few creative dishes.

Meanwhile, upstairs Damian was fidgeting in his sit,”Are we almost Sister?”

“Hold still or you makeup will get messed up.” Y/n was the only person home that could help Damian finish with his costume. After a few moments she pulled back and smiled,”All done.”

Damian flung out of his seat and into his sister’s bathroom to look at his makeup.

“Wow, you managed to make me look the skeleton from that film Grayson made me watch.”

“Jack, you look like Jack Dames.” She took a comb and finished smoothing out his hair. “What’s your costume?” He inquired taking the combing to fix his own hair.

She went into her closet and came out dressed as cowgirl Barbie from the movie with hat and boots.

“Now go put on your costume Dames Dick said he’s five minutes away with the girls.” She fixed her wig and adjusted her scarf. Damian walked to his room around the corner and changed into the costume his brother had gotten for him a few days ago.

When he emerged from his room, Dick and Y/n were laughing at a his phone and noticed Damian.

“Aww Little D, you look so frightening.”

“Tt. And what are you supposed to be Grayson.”

“Aladdin,Kori’s running late but she’s going to be Jasmine.” The three went downstairs which was now in full effect and Alfred greeted the siblings dressed as Count Dracula.

“Nice fang Alife.” Alfred smiled at the three and offered them red punch in black and purple plastic cups. “Why Thank you Master Richard, I must stay though they do take a lot to get used to.”

Barbara arrived with Cassandra, Stephanie and Duke all dressed for the party.

“Aww Dami you look so adorable.” Steph fussed taking pictures of the youngest. He huffed and walked away into the main ballroom where the music was blasting but only a few people from Wayne Enterprise and Queen Construction had arrived.

———

Y/n snapped a few pictures with Duke and Barbara aka Spider-man and Kim Possible.

Jason arrived with Tim and Bernard not far behind him. “May wanna close that vest up Dickhead your getting cold.” He teased Dick who rolled his eyes.

“IT’s October Jason.”

“My nipples aren’t sharing at everyone entering the house.”

“Jason knock it off.” Y/n huffed, Dick self consciously pulled his vested.

The group had moved to the ballroom mintues ago and more people from Wayne Enterprises and some League members had arrived. Jason stretched standing from the table,” Okay this Skywalker needs food.”

Stephanie and Cass followed dress as the Pink and Yellow Power Rangers.

Selina entered the room dressed as Marylin Monroe and waved,”Why do glum kittens,your parents go trick or treat without you?”

Fred or Tim shook his head,” They’re not here yet, it’s just boring right now.”

Bernard played with the green scarf on his Daphne shirt.

She sighed and saw a several costumed adults and looked back the way she came. “Well looks like the Calvary just arrived. Have fun.” She slipped away into the now bigger crowd.

Members or Young Justice, Titans and Birds of Prey arrived in costumes and soon the kids mingled with their friends and went away from the table only living Y/n and Damian.

“You should ask Uncle Clark why he didn’t come.” She spoke up over the Monster Mash song.

“Tt, if he cared he would have came sister.” He spat.

She stood up from the table and turned to him, “He’s your best friend and he’s been through a lot. Maybe Halloween is just a lot for him, if you tell him how much it would mean to you to show up I’m sure he’d fly here in a heartbeat.”

Damian didn’t answer his sister but did glance across the room to Clark and Lois dressed as Frankinstein and the Bride who chatted with Diana,John and Wally dressed as a Fairy, Boxer and a Race Car Driver.

Damian grab his cup and pondered as he made his way to the refreshment table. He grabbed a few pieces of cheese and felt like his wished the night was over.

The music stopped as DJ announced the arrival of the hosts Bruce and Batmom entered the room dressed as Gomez and Mortica Adams. Once they thanked everyone for coming the party once again went into full swing and Damian slipped away into the gardens.

“Damian?” A voice called to him after what felt like a short while. Bruce sat next to him.

“Are you not having fun?”

He sighed,”Yes father the party is very good.”

Bruce was silent for a few moments and then let out his own deep sigh.”Your sister told me you miss Jon. You should call him, Clark told me the only reason he didn’t come was because he figured you wouldn’t want to participate.”

Damian turned to his father,”Really?”

Bruce smiled at his son and gave his shoulder a squeeze. “He’s your best friend, just call him.” After that Bruce returned inside and Damian remained seated.

He signed before looking at the ground.”Kent,I know listening…I think—I want you come to the party. It’s rather…dull.” He spoke barley in a whisper.

For a while it was just the distance sounds of Gotham noises and the booming sounds from the music inside and then a sudden gust of wind blew a few strands of hair.

“Hi Damian.” Damian’s gaze fell ontop the floating teen before him in full costume.

A grin painted his figured,”And what are you supposed to be Kent?”

“Uh Duh, I’m Danny Phantom.”

Damian laughed and Jon rolled his eyes.

“Come on I’m starving I heard Alfred has jalapeño poppers.” Damian joined Jon as they headed inside.

Y/n elbowed her brother and Jason spilled his punched on himself. He followed his sister’s gaze and they watch from a far.

Dick beamed as he got closer to them,”Aww Little D’s not lonely anymore.”

Jason rolled his eyes. “I don’t know how he can be, you Mother Hen him to death every two seconds.”

Dick shoved Jason and the rushed of his punched spilled on his costume. Dick nervously sprinted away with Jason bolting after him.

“Imbeciles.” Y/n sighed eating a eyeball cheese.

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orange-artist · 10 months

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Brainworms: Sabo x Yonji

Hello little people in my phone. Today I bring you new update in the Good!Yonji AU (AU where Yonji defects from Germa at age 15 after learning about Emotions and starts a clothing store instead. more here)

Woke up this morning and my brain said to me "you know what would be funny? Putting Sabo and Good!Yonji into a room together." AKA Orange talks herself into another rarepair

Apparently, the conclusion my brain came to was that they would kiss. I presented the thought to my little buddies, @nosongunsung11 (rubber duck and feedback loop) and @courfeyracs-swordcane (hypeman) and the idea devolved and now I just ship them whole heartedly.

Let me present too you my newest agenda, Yonji x Sabo. (Target audience: 5) I will give yall the elevator pitch, but this is the longest elevator ride of your life and the music is terrible. Strap in.

Okay, SO- Yonji is a fashion nerd right? And one day, a tall, blonde, hot and most perfectly proportioned man walks into the store in an impeccably well kempt suit. The simp/artist genes kick in. Yonji wants to make a suit for this man so bad.

Yonji would just be a puddle in the floor like "please sir I will do anything. Let me make a suit for you."

Then he find out this guy is a runaway noble? (Who ran away at age 5!) Who is now fighting the world government? (Second in command!) Has brothers he hasn't seen in 10 years and is rebuilding their relationship? Survived Trauma and is living it up now causing problems for people of power? Yonji is so far gone.

On the flip side, Sabo does not like Yonji at first. Thinks he's a hooligan. Tries to scare him off by using big words™️ but Yonji is also an ex-prince and is not intimidated but swoons harder because hot and smart? Holy shit. He is also peak autistic swag and deadass does not pick up on the fact that Sabo is trying to bully him. Also, Sabo is undercover.

Yonji does succeed in convincing Sabo to let him make a suit and they end up becoming buddies. (They both have brother complexes and the other reminds them of the brothers and its bad I hate it but it is true)

One day Yonji gets caught in a revs fight and Sabo's like "I need to protect this totally normal and helpless civilian who has nothing to do with this" and Yonji is like "holy shit, a chance to show off in front of the cool guy". Anyways cue both of them going feral and insane in a fight and Yonji, wiping blood from his hands with a handkerchief because he was raised as a prince and habits die hard looks over at Sabo and it like "Anyways that was fun, wanna grab coffee? Oh, I know some very good ways to get blood stain out of wool. :)"

And Sabo realizes "something is deeply wrong with him and I dig it." Or as @nosongunsung11 puts it: "I can't see the simping working on Sabo what would Work is Yonji going fucking feral on a bunch of random marines"

They also get attached to the other on the basis of Yonji's AuDHD swag reminds Sabo of Luffy and and Sabo's blonde suited runaway energy reminds Yonji of Sanji. Both of these idiots have massive brother complexes and they are working on it-

They're both stupid and have issues and it works. Anyways, Yonji ends up joining the revs.

He makes disguises. He also gets a fedora.

Also more chances to be unhinged and feral.

Other things. Yonji is a big foodie and always wants to try everything on the menu but is unable to finish it and he's learned to Not Waste Food, however, Sabo already orders everything on a menu anyways so Yonji just takes a bite of everything.

The both carry around little notebook/sketchbooks, Sabo for his notes on random things and Yonji for his designs. Yonji is sometimes allowed to illustrate Sabo's notes.

Bonus: Sabo models for Yonji.

(inspired by irl event of being an art student and sometimes you need your friend to do emergency weird poses)

Please give relinquish your opinions about this I need to know.

#good yonji au #yonji one piece #vinsmoke yonji #sabo one piece #yonji x sabo #yonbo? yonsa? yonsabo? saboyon? sayon?#idk ship name #sabo x yonji #my art #vinsmoke yonji x sabo

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gordon-furman · 4 months

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SHOCK TROOPER LORE POST

aka speculative biology + how my shock troopers work (this post requires at least a bit of knowledge of Half Life/ Opposing Force lore)

First, an explanation of the relationship between the shock trooper/Race X homeworld and Xen.

Xen is a borderworld comprising of many floating islands and the wildlife that live upon them. Existing between dimensions, most creatures upon Xen inhabit it by accident; having been brought by portal storms and then unable to leave. Other creatures purposely fled to Xen due to an oppressive alien force, such as the Nihilanth, the Vortigaunts, and other unnamed/unknown races.

Some of these are Race X native species.

Black Mesa found out about Race X by chance through their teleportation experiments. Through very calculated and very risky missions, Black Mesa was able to obtain some specimens from the places where Race X resided, as well as Xen. Those scientists then took them down to the deepest parts of Black Mesa to study.

Black Mesa had been extracting crystals and wildlife from Xen for a while, these new species were kept secret to only those with the highest clearances. Still, they were not able to gather enough data before the Cascade; when all the alien species contained within Black Mesa were unleashed unto the world.

There is no determined number amount of Shock Troopers who reside on Earth, but we estimate that they are few and far between. Unlike Vortigaunts, most (if any) Shock Troopers who inhabit Earth nowadays are hostile towards both Humans and Combine alike. However, they prove to be smart and reliable allies when possible.

Most everything we know about Shock Troopers and the other species of Race X has been filled in by Shock Troopers themselves. The following information was gathered by a Shock Trooper who had joined a small team of rebels stationed in an abandoned quarry, then passed on to rebel scientists.

THE LIFE CYCLE

(Pictured: a murky healing pool with Spore Launchers)

On their homeworld and their other colonized planets, shock trooper young (called spore launchers) start their lives in pools. They are amphibious in nature and are able to crawl upon land with their tiny arms. The majority of their life, however, is spent in the pools.

Those familar with the borderworld Xen will recognize the healing pool that serves as their watery cradle. Starting from eggs, spore launchers hatch into these pools by the dozen and stay there for much of their adolescent lives. As more hatchlings leave their leathery eggs and inhabit the pools, the natural healing power lessens and lessens; until the pool itself is murky and stagnant.

(Pictured: infant Jack, Tiger, and Spot; my half life ocs)

Adult shock troopers do not care for their young outside of feeding (though it is a common occurrence that they don't get fed), which leads to their pools being a very hostile environment in their later stages. The natural properties of the pool that healed their wounds when they were newborn no longer nurse the bigger and older spore launchers. It is not uncommon for spore launchers to be aggressive towards each other at this time. There are often so many babies in one pool that feeding is foregone entirely; leading to a strictly cannibal diet among the young (though cannibalism is a regular occurrence in pools that are well supplied with food as well.).

Spore launchers come in the same colors as Shock Troopers do, though a Shock Trooper's patterns are often determined by how much nutrients that they collected as a baby. (Which often leads to the most complex and abundant patterns belonging to the most aggressive shock troopers. Or, at least, those that were aggressive in their infant stage.)

(Pictured: Two Shock Troopers and a baby Spore Launcher)

Spore Launchers turn into Shock Troopers via a sort of metamorphosis. Mature Spore Launches encase themselves in a cocoon of their own spit (often mixed with juices and remains of Spore Fruit, a main staple in their diet) and emerge as fully grown Shock Troopers. It is at this point that they assimilate into Shock Trooper culture and community.

Shock Trooper culture is very militaristic and nationalist. They are very competitive and engage in sparing as a sport, though they do not have much to bet but food and actions. (A Shock Trooper who lost a bet, for example, might have to do an unwanted chore or something embarrassing.) They do not have clothing or music, though the very few who have spent time on Earth have enjoyed wind and percussion instruments.

Shock Trooper relationships are different from human ideas of the concept. Romantic relationships are extremely rare (occurring only under rare circumstances and only with Shock Troopers from different colonies) and sexual ones are nonexistent. This means that, in human terms, most Shock Troopers are aromantic, and all of them are biologically asexual.

Instead of romantic relationships, some examples of high value relationships within the Shock Trooper community are mentor-mentees, tight knit friend groups (or squads, as they call them) and leader- follower groups. These relationships can be as complicated as human ones at times; as one Shock Trooper might see their bond as friendship, while the other Shock Trooper might see them as a leader-follower pair.

Despite their differences, it is a common belief in their homeworld communities that Shock Troopers are 'above' all other specie, including those they have domesticated. Some domesticated species found in and around communities are Shock Roaches, Pit Drones, and Voltigores (not to be confused with Vortigaunts). Shock Roaches are symbiotic insect-like weapons, while Pit Drones and Voltigores could be compared (if need be, as these creatures are nothing like Earth creatures) to very aggressive dogs and livestock. Their farming habits support their omnivorous diet; which consists of Spore fruit and Voltigores, as well as anything else they can get their hands on.

(Pictured: a Gene Worm)

While they seem primitive in many ways, Shock Troopers are one step above Black Mesa's scientists; they have mastered reliable teleportation. While they always have a Gene Worm to create teleportation portals, they were able to use Xen crystal constructs and Sprite-powered portals in order to create a reliable network. This network was how they were able to conduct their assault on Black Mesa and attempted colonization of Earth.

Gene worms are one of the final stages of Shock Trooper evolution. Much like ants or bees, Spore Launchers turn into Gene worms with the help of a special chemical jelly diet created in the throats of Shock Troopers. The fed Spore Launcher then feeds on anything it can fit in its mouth to support it's growth, then turning into their 'queen'.

The Gene Worm is the only reproductive being among their species; dedicating much of it's time to laying eggs. There are multiple Gene Worms across their home planet and other places, so not all Shock Troopers are directly related.

Interestingly enough, though Shock Troopers feed and care for the Gene Worm well into it's adulthood, it is not out of any obligation. Ants serve a queen. This queen serves its offspring. The Gene Worm is able to create and change the landscape around it to create a perfect home for Shock Troopers. This, mixed with their teleportation knowledge, has led them to successfully terraform and colonize one other planet besides their own.

(Pictured: a Gene Worm and a Tentacle)

The last example of the Shock Trooper life cycle are Tentacles. Like the Gene Worm, these creatures evolve from Spore Launchers who are fed a special diet. Unlike the Gene Worm, however, these Tentacles are made to the guards of Gene Worm nests and other important areas. Relatively blind, they attack their opponents using hearing to pinpoint their locations. Shock Troopers make sure to vocalize loudly while in their presence to ensure that the Tentacles will not mistake them for an enemy.

Shock Troopers are complicated and highly intelligent creatures who are yet untouched by the decimation of the Combine. Maybe, just maybe, they would make good allies in the future for the war against the Combine; if they knew what was at stake.

However, knowing the overall nationalistic culture of the Shock Troopers and their previous attempt to colonize Earth...probably not.

#half life #half life 2 #half life alyx #half life opposing force #opposing force #speculative biology #spec bio #shock trooper #spore launcher #gene worm #alien speculative biology #alien oc #shock trooper oc #half life oc #my art #tjis is my first attempt at spec bio pls be nice!!!!!!!!!!#maybe ill make another post expanding onto these concepts a bit/ new concepts #I tried to stay true to the previous lore while still expanding upon them!#long post

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fuck-customers · 4 months

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Fuck managers. I work at a bakery aka in food service so when I started coughing up blood during my shift I figured it was mandatory for me to, yknow, not be in food service while coughing up blood. When I left to go to the emergency room my kind manager made sure to tell me to clock out first and enjoy by vacation. Ever since then if I call out for a single shift due to illness (which has happened twice since) my manager penalizes me by cutting my hours for the next week, since I’ve proven I can’t “be trusted” with my full hours. I’m trying to find a new job but since I work nights, there are only so many that don’t require a nursing degree.

Posted by admin Rodney.

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jungkook97 · 6 months

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it's a bad idea, right? || jjk & myg

pairing: jungkook x female!reader, yoongi x female!reader word count: ~8.8k rating: ma genre: romcom, smut (not too detailed though!), fake dating to lovers, non-idol!au, roommates au, jungkook is a lovesick little bitch, y/n is toxica and aloof, yoongi is y/n’s “perfect” ex who she wants back

summary: yoongi and y/n broke up and she wants him back. desperately. so much so that she got a fake boyfriend (aka her annoying BUT attractive roommate) to get him jealous.

what a terrible idea.

notes: UM i didn't intend for it to end that way but i'm horny for the both of them saur. yeah! sharing is caring lol

BANG. BANG. BANG.

You emerged from the sheets, silent.

BANG.

“I know you’re in there,” a voice echoed through the door. You grimaced, sitting up. It was your roommate again and frankly, you had enough of the guy.

It has been a few days since you and Yoongi had called it quits and you had warned very loudly to your roommate, Jungkook, that you’d be on an emotional rollercoaster for the next few days. It was a clear warning from the jump that you would be loud in your cries, perhaps unkempt and smelly from the depression, and so on and so forth. You said you weren’t going to see him so much as you’d be in bed, eyes puffy and red.

“Am I being too loud?�� you asked the obvious, but Jungkook just sighed, body shifting against the door.

“Just open the damn door. I need to talk to you.”

Grumbling, you pulled the blanket off your body and slinked over, slowly cracking the door open.

“Jesus, you look terrible!” Jungkook exclaimed, eyebrows furrowing together. He broke into a little chuckle to himself before you told him to kindly fuck off with a soft smile. Even though Jungkook can be the biggest asshole, he still didn’t entirely pissed you off.

Probably because the kid is very attractive, you thought to yourself, sighing. Oh, pretty people. Getting away with everything per usual.

“What do you want?” you got straight to the point. It was at least midnight at this point, and you couldn’t help but to realize that you hadn’t eaten. Of course, you didn’t plan to have dinner, especially with Jungkook being around and making fun of your cooking (What a jerk, you thought, he could flawlessly make anything). Nonetheless, your stomach betrayed you anyway, gurgling as Jungkook pointed at you as if you’ve been caught with some marijuana or something.

“Ah, I was about to ask if you’re hungry because I made some extra food and there it goes~” he hummed, laughing as he slid the door even more open. “Come on, it’s tasty. You know it’s always tasty…unlike my lo–”

“Okay,” you interrupted, sickened by the sexual innuendo. Men were truly disgusting, especially Korean men and their porn-obsessed brains. It didn’t help that you found the most Korean guy possible as your roommate, but at least the rent isn’t too bad with him and he doesn’t try to make any unwanted moves. To you, he was a diamond in the rough. “Let me freshen up and I’ll be there.”

He smirked, standing upright.

“I’ll see you!”

And so the two of you had a very late dinner. He wasn’t wrong with making suyuk (“I just winged it~” he bragged, which made you roll your eyes) to your level and taste, and you gobbled it right away. He was right: you were pretty hungry.

“So, how’s it been?” Jungkook began some small talk as he poured another glass of highball for himself. The man goes through bottles of Jack Daniels like it’s water, but at least he isn’t a lightweight. Koreans and their alcohol, you thought.

“Miserable,” you mumbled, chewing the rice slowly before grabbing another slice. “It’s barely day 3 and I miss him so bad.”

“I told you, he’s probably fucking other bitches,” he snorted while plopping some more pork on his plate. “It’s Min Yoongi after all.”

Your heart sank at the mere possibility of it, swirling your chopsticks in your bowl. Jungkook was right. It would’ve been different if Yoongi was still that shy underground producer when you two first met, but he was a hot shot now, collaborating with all kinds of U.S. producers and even collaborating with Major Lazer on a track recently. There were rumors even Beyoncé had plans to cook up a beat with him, but it has been hard to keep track of him. Yoongi was getting too popular for your taste, and that was what led to the breakup in the first place. Distance, misunderstandings, and then a big argument. The typical stuff.

You sighed, putting your free hand to your chin, thinking pensively. There has to be a way to get him back. There was no way you were going to let Yoongi slip from your hands. He was the perfect guy: sweet, empathetic, thoughtful, literally so good in bed (your body just quivered at the fact that his tongue healed your past horrible hookups and situationships)...the list went on, and you were so sure it was gonna be endgame. Two years of good memories, all for a stupid argument?

You should’ve fought harder, but Yoongi’s words cut so deep. He was a producer after all. The man’s pen got Grammy nominations. Beyoncé was calling him up. How could you compete with that? That was a losing battle to begin with.

Unless…

“Jungkook?”

“Hm?” his eyes looked up from his phone screen rather nonchalantly.

You leaned in, folding your leg underneath your bottom before scooching closer to him.

“Do you want to form an alliance?” you said in the best The Office’s Dwight impression possible.

“What?” he asked blankly.

“Do you want to be my fake boyfriend to get Yoongi back?”

You couldn’t believe the words that came out of your mouth. It was a stupid idea, idiotic. There was no way it was going to work: you always talked shit about Jungkook to Yoongi. How the hell was he going to be convinced that you fell in love with Jeon Jungkook?

You quietly gagged at the possibility, but you also knew deeply that no other man would do it with no strings attached besides him. You couldn’t explain why though: maybe it was because of how aloof the guy was, or maybe he seemed pretty good on paper. Despite being annoying, Jungkook was attractive, had a nice job, and was also not a bad human being. He might not be the perfect guy, but he’s…

…okay.

Just.

Okay.

Jungkook put his finger up to his chin, rubbing it quietly to himself. You stared back at him, waiting for an answer.

“So?”

“What’s in it for me?”

You shrugged.

“Uh, out of the kindness of your heart?”

Jungkook snorted.

“That isn’t good enough.”

“What do you want then?” you crossed your arms, frowning. “Sex?”

“Ew!” Jungkook immediately gagged, grimacing at the thought of you two doing it. “God no.”

“Money?”

He shook his head again.

“Nah.”

You were growing frustrated, growling under your breath.

“Then what?”

“Sana’s number.”

Your eyes widened.

“FUCK NO,” you yelled back, hissing at Jungkook’s eyebrows raising up twice and him smirking.

“What, you want the man back or not?” he mocked.

“She’s….precious to me,” you whispered. You two were peas in a pod and were really close, protective over each other even. You knew Jungkook was going to go there though, especially with the way he openly stared at her when she was at your guys’ place a couple of weeks ago.

(He also kept asking if she was going to come back. Jungkook was not a slick guy in the slightest.)

“You. Want. Him. Back. Or. Not?” he repeated again, crossing his arms. “It’s simple. I’ll do whatever it takes for you to get Yoongi back, and I'll get Sana's number at the end. You know I won’t be creepy towards her.”

He was right. If he was the type to send dick pics, he would’ve sent you one already.

You exhaled deeply, extending your hand out for a formal handshake.

“Deal.”

And so, you two began to plot. Since Jungkook was in the music industry himself, it was pretty easy to “run” into Yoongi. That was always the easy part though. The harder part was to actually look like a couple with your fucking incredibly sophomoric roommate.

Jungkook was younger than you by a couple of years, and was a bit of a fuckboy. No, more like a major fuckboy. In the beginning of your tenancy at the apartment with the man, he would always invite girls to his room and they would fuck (loudly), pissing you off. He wouldn’t even give much warning, but it wasn’t until a month or two ago when he completely stopped his antics, and well, got nicer to you overall. You didn’t get why though, but you were not going to question it either.

And so, you held your breath as you two made your way to the café Yoongi always went to in the morning before heading to the studio. You were panicking, hands all clammy as Jungkook’s eyes were on you before rolling his eyes.

“Come on, you can’t act like this,” he piped up as you two waited for the street to turn green for pedestrians. “The more you get nervous about it, the more it’s going to look fake as hell.”

“You think I don’t know that?” you exhaled sharply, wiping your hands on your skirt before extending it out to touch his. “Grab my hand.”

He did it immediately, and it took you slightly aback. First of all, he didn’t protest or whine when he did, and secondly, his hands were unbelievably soft? You couldn’t believe Jungkook actually used actual lotion, and his grip was just right. Not too rough, but firm and inviting.

“Get closer to me,” he instructed, his linked hand pulling closer toward his body as you went along as he rested his head a bit above your head. On the count of three, the two of you walked in unison across the street as onlookers were clearly staring at the both of you winging it to the coffee shop. You could feel your hands producing more and more sweat making it slippery, but Jungkook never once let go. In fact, he held even tighter to your surprise.

“Where is he?” he muttered under his breath as he cracked his neck to look around the shop. You did the same before noticing a lightly curled dark-haired man you knew too well. Yoongi was sitting down drinking his little double shot espresso, eyes already set on the both of you. Your stomach lurched forward at his pensive eyes, scanning the situation as you nudged Jungkook to look over.

You two were inconspicuously in line for a coffee. It was the easiest way to sneak in without causing a scene, you two decided the night before. As the line moved forward, you were still staring into Yoongi’s eyes. Despite being with him for two years, you could never really read him very well. It was a part of his charm: he was so mysterious, yet so intimate.

“Ah,” you saw his lips make a vowel as he sat up in his seat, suddenly interested in what was going on. Jungkook looked over nonchalantly before looking back at you, eyes locked at the menu. You, on the other hand, weren't looking too hot.

You kept staring at Yoongi and you couldn’t tell if he was jealous or even remotely upset. He just looked void of emotion like he always did, just how you remembered him. Surely, he wasn’t happy, and maybe you could take that as a victory.

But oh, his face. You missed it so much. You love this man so hard and if only you could just go over there and kiss him on the spot, you would. His lips were firmly pressed together before he finally looked down in his coffee cup, making you exhale sharply, butterflies in your stomach.

Is he…upset?

“You gonna order?”

Jungkook’s voice rang through your ears as you realized you two were at the front of the line. Hastily, you ordered as Jungkook heaved heavily, putting his hand up as you pulled out your card to pay.

“I got this, sweetheart,” he replied almost naturally before tapping his card against the card reader. You were stunned at the sudden drop of the pet name, but he was playing his role relatively well.

“I guess you’re working really hard for Sana’s number after all,” you whispered under your breath as Jungkook rolled his eyes again, grabbing the ticket number.

“Yeah, and I would’ve loved it if you were better at acting because it seems like I’m doing the heavy lifting here,” he grumbled back, pulling you with him to the other side of the counter. You could feel Yoongi’s eyes following you two as your back turned against him, looking at Jungkook directly, cheeks slightly flushed.

“I’m sorry, I’m just…” you paused, trying to find the right words. The atmosphere seemed really warm all of a sudden as you were slightly dizzy. “...flustered.”

“Yeah, no shit,” he replied back, chuckling. You could feel the envy in the room as he did that. You forgot: Jungkook was a pretty hot guy, and well sought after in the showbiz scene.

You two had some small talk then, but as quiet it could possibly be due to the NDAs you two signed in regards to your jobs. It was a normal conversation you two would regularly have, but you were very self conscious about looking more “couple-y” in front of your ex. As the two of you sat down to wait for your order, Jungkook put his arm behind you against the table (you assume) to assert dominance, and you put your hand on his lap. Weirdly, you felt him stiffen a bit, but you didn’t think much. It was probably a sensitive area for Jungkook: after all, he was pretty used to a lot of girls touching him in a sexual way.

“Order for J-K!” the barista called out. It felt like the entire shop, including Yoongi, was staring at the both of you as you two stood up to take your drinks. As you took a sip with confidence, the both of you left the shop with Jungkook opening the door for you, continuing on whatever nonsensical conversation you guys were having. Jungkook followed you closely as you slowly made a grin, nudging the guy.

“I think that was pretty good,” you giddily squealed. He rolled his eyes once more, creating a bit of distance between you two.

“It was passable.”

Ding.

You pulled out your phone, seeing what you’ve been waiting for.

[MIN YOONGI: Was that Jeon Jungkook you were with just now?]

It was working, she believed. All Jungkook did was just roll his eyes.

It was a stupid idea, almost idiotic. It was like high school all over again, except they were past their quarter life crisis and Jungkook was terribly bored. His little whore phase was over, and he was in need of some “no strings attached” fun.

You were always fascinating to him when you moved in. Most girls would avoid renting with a Korean man in the first place after hearing horror stories about people like him in Korea, but she took a chance anyway. He wasn’t sure if you were stupid or if you were just incredibly brave, but the comedy fodder you’ve gotten in the past year was worth it. All of the hilarious stories from her side of the industry made Jungkook’s life a bit lighter and less depressing. After all, turning down people’s dreams was not what Jungkook wanted to do with his life.

Knowing that he could fuck around with some popular producer’s feelings made him feel good and honestly, you weren’t a bad match for him.

He wouldn’t admit it, but he had a little crush on you, on God. You were pretty, smart and didn’t seem to care about the glitz and glamour of Hollywood, and that was way different from the many girls he has been seen with. Admittedly there was a long list of women who would love to have a bite of him, but he was getting tired. LA women can be too dramatic at times, and you were the opposite of that.

Every night, you two had dinner to go over what happened that day, and little did he know that he would eventually grow super fond of you, suddenly talking about you and the antics you two were pulling to his friends. Mingyu was the first to pop the question if you two were actually dating, but Jungkook kept denying, saying it was an elaborate scheme.

“Why are you doing it? Clearly it’s not out of the kindness of your heart,” Mingyu would tease him while Jungkook had a few shots in him. “Admit it, you actually like her and fake dating is easier to deal with than actually asking her out.”

Jungkook denied, denied and denied some more, emphasizing he wouldn’t catch feelings. Yes, Jungkook put his heart on his sleeve constantly, but fake dating is fake dating. There was no way he would pass those boundaries, but as the dinners continued, the more he felt that there was something there…a spark, even.

One night, you were on the couch just texting as Jungkook was working out nearby, heaving and puffing. He was keeping his eyes on you subconsciously, seeing you smile and grinning at small things as his mind went wild as to what it was. Maybe it was Yoongi you were texting, or a whole new guy together. It drove him insane, and he couldn’t help but to feel rather territorial. Sure, he knew a lot about you at this point, but he also didn’t know everything about you.

“Who are you texting?” he impulsively asked, setting the dumbbells down as he pulled his arms up in the air, stretching. His lips escaped a groan as he cracked his neck, kneeling down to meet at her eye level.

You looked up, eyes locked in with his. His heart leaped forward as she grinned, putting her knees together to her chest.

“It’s Yoongi.”

Jungkook’s heart sank.

Sank…?

Oh fuck, Jungkook thought. No. Oh no.

“What are you guys texting about?” he felt himself ask, again with not much thought. Were they sexting each other? Were you already back with Yoongi already and you were just messing with Jungkook’s feelings? His mind was running wild suddenly, and he felt a bit…strange. Upset, maybe.

“None of your business!” you retorted back, putting your phone closer to your chest, laughing.

Jungkook’s tongue protruded from his cheek as he played with his lip rings and folded his arms.

“What do you mean, ‘it’s none of my business’? Don’t you think your fake boyfriend should know what’s going on?”

He was getting heated, his nostrils flaring. He should know what was going on, especially if maybe they’re really together all of this time and he was being played. Jungkook hated being played, and he felt like he was being royally screwed over at this point.

“Okay, you can tone down the fake jealousy,” you laughed, turning the phone around. He walked over immediately, kneeling down to see the text conversation. It wasn’t even with Yoongi, but rather with Sana.

Fuck.

“Oh, fuck off, you’re so annoying,” Jungkook rolled his eyes, going back to his dumbbells. You giggled, opening the camera app to take a photo of him working out.

“Say hi to Sana! Flex a bit so she gets intrigued, come on~!”

Jungkook sighed loudly, ignoring you. It was then he realized something was deeply wrong with this situation, something that Mingyu was making fun of him about.

And so since then, he started catching feelings, especially when the two of you had dinner one night at a nearby restaurant after hearing Yoongi was going to have dinner there as well with supposedly a business partner. You were really nervous about the whole ordeal once again.

It seemed that every time you two did anything in the presence of Min Yoongi, you were nervous about it, much to Jungkook’s annoyance. But he gritted his teeth anyway, fixing your dress as you fidgeted in it despite looking ravishing in it. In fact, he was trying not to look at you as much to avoid getting flustered, but he couldn’t help it. You looked beautiful in a forest green mid-length dress, makeup as light and perfect as Jungkook liked on you. You looked effortless, and that was something he really liked about you.

“Do you think he would say something in person after this?” you asked seriously, putting on your diamond earrings.

Jungkook was leaning against the bathroom counter on his phone, trying to hide the fact that he was getting annoyed again, his body temperature rising as all she was asking about what Yoongi would think and how they would appear in front of him. At this point, he was getting tired, and frankly, he wanted to just get the man to whisk you away or whatever so he can move on. Jungkook knew you didn’t feel the same in any capacity, and perhaps that was best. It was messy to get into it with your roommate out of all people, and Sana would be a great distraction for him.

You two looked really good together though, Jungkook admitted to himself. As he looked up at the bathroom mirror, he could see how well you two matched together, how well your hands fitted in his, and how easy flowing your guys’ conversations were with each other. It was as if you two had known each other for a while, like friends from the past life or something.

If only you two could be more than friends.

Or is that….too much to ask?

“Hey silly, let’s go! Reservation’s in an hour!” you snapped him out of reality. He shook himself awake and cleared his throat, his eyes locking with yours as he gulped nervously after. You looked…gorgeous.

“Y-yeah,” he replied, taking his jacket with him as you turned the bathroom light off. Grabbing his hand, you two made your way out of the apartment and into the elevator where Jungkook stood behind you, taking you in. There was a slight hair out of place and he instinctively put it back into place, which made you flinch a bit.

“Anything in my hair?” you asked, patting the area down.

He met eyes with you again, this time invoking a feeling of warmness and softness that he didn’t know he was extruding. Surely, you weren’t noticing it entirely, staring back at him for an answer. He was clearly unraveling in front of you, but you were too worried about what Yoongi was going to wear or what he was going to say to you (if he was going to say anything to you, that is). He fell in love in that elevator, and he was down bad.

“Uh, no,” he made sure to reply back to not alarm you, putting his hands into his pockets and staring at the ground. He was clearing his throat again, feeling as if he had caught something. There wasn’t anything infectious though, just a big ball of nerves and anxiety caused by being lovesick.

He was being a big fat loser for love, just like Mingyu had predicted.

Mingyu was right. Jeon Jungkook was in love with you.

You two got to the restaurant in record time, and there Yoongi was, having dinner with another woman. You held your breath as you gripped Jungkook’s hand a bit tighter, making his stomach churn in nervousness.

“He’s with someone,” you stated the obvious, biting down your bottom lip as you were trying not to cry. You had gotten the info about the business partner through Jungkook, but something told you that he was just trying to spare your feelings. Min Yoongi was on a date with someone and you didn’t like that at all.

And so, you turned around and leaned into Jungkook’s ear, requesting him to put his arm around your waist. He did it almost immediately as the server took you to the table, “coincidentally” in front of Yoongi and his supposed date.

As expected, Yoongi saw the two of you immediately, frozen stiff as you made eye contact with him before looking at Jungkook with the lovey-dovey smile you conjured up on the spot. Now was the time to make him feel absolutely uncomfortable, regretting breaking up with you.

You leaned in to Jungkook, who at this point was in his damn feelings, and planted a kiss on his cheek. He turned a light pink, playing with his lip rings as you laughed unnaturally, planting your bottom back in your chair.

“What, you’re flustered suddenly?” you giggled, pushing your hair to the side to show your sharp collar bones and chest. You could see Yoongi shift uncomfortably in his seat, biting his lips as his date continued talking about God knows what.

You smirked. You were getting his attention.

“Of course,” Jungkook answered back with a lot of sincerity, trying to mask it as him being a great actor. Of course, he was disheartened that you kept staring behind him, but he kind of didn’t care. Yoongi was getting pissed off, and that was what kept him going honestly. Maybe he couldn’t have you, but at least her ex was not having it. It was kind of twisted, but Jungkook weirdly liked it. “You know how I feel about PDA, my love.”

“I thought you’re the type to like showing that I’m yours,” you flirtily replied, making Jungkook’s heart literally skip a beat. You were pulling out all the stops in such a pathetic and unapologetic way, and it was making him feel really good.

“Yeah, you are mine,” he smirked, grabbing your hand to squeeze. “You’re always going to be mine, no one else’s.”

Yoongi’s tongue poked out of his cheek, stifling a chuckle. The tension in the room was high, and you enjoyed every bit of it.

You two didn’t last through the appetizers before Yoongi excused himself to the bathroom. You did the same, hoping to run into him.

You did, almost too perfectly. As the two of you stood next to each other in the shared sink area, Yoongi stood next to you. His Invictus cologne enveloped your nostrils as you smiled, remembering how much that used to drive you wild.

“So you’re with Jungkook for real, huh?” Yoongi turned his body towards you, chuckling. “I didn’t know you’d lower your standards like that,” he continued, flipping his hair to the side.

“Please,” you scoffed. “Like that girl you got is any better than me.”

“She’s looking for a producer,” he emphasized, smirking. “I knew you would think it’s a date. Do you think I have time to see anybody right now?”

You turned off the faucet and shook your hands dry.

“Yeah, I know,” you replied nonchalantly. “That was why we broke up, remember?”

Yoongi swallowed sharply at the comment, making you feel rather elated. He was clearly hurt.

Now you want him to want you back.

There was a moment of silence between you two as you took a paper towel to dry your hands and you did it painstakingly slowly as he looked directly into your eyes, probably trying to decipher what you were thinking. You stonewalled him, just like he did with you in the last few weeks of your relationship, unwilling to say anything to fix the rift you two had. Yoongi wasn’t that perfect like you thought of weeks ago: there was a reason why he broke up with you. He was an asshole, unwilling to spend more time with you, confiding in you. Even Jungkook, your fake boyfriend, was a better listener than Yoongi was sometimes.

“I know what you’re doing,” Yoongi said simply, leaning against the wall. “You’re trying to make me jealous.”

Your stomach lurched forward as you swallowed shallowly, clearing your throat to hide it. Yoongi’s lips curved into a smirk as he slowly leaned into you.

“You’re trying to make me fucking jealous,” he repeated, this time in a lower tone, almost growling. You felt as if he knocked the wind out of you, his breath so close to you. This was the Yoongi you remembered, the guy who wouldn’t mince words, but rather, said it upfront. It was incredibly sexy of him, and it was the most attractive quality. It was the reason you two got together, and the chemistry was impalpable.

Kiss him. Or at least say something.

“And what if I was…?” you taunted back, your hands getting closer to his against the sink. You two were incredibly close at this point, lips almost touching. “Are you fucking jealous, Min Yoongi?”

His lips leaned in even closer, barely touching your own.

“Maybe.”

Your heart skipped a beat. You had him in your fingers, and it was a power play that you knew Yoongi loved, and almost missed about you. You were a thrill for him, and despite how turbulent the relationship was, you two always had that energy with each other.

He held his breath as you pulled away sharply, teasing him. His eyes turned dark as you smirked.

“Well, that’s too bad,” you replied. “Wish I could do something.”

And with that, you clicked your heels in the opposite direction, strutting away in your best model walk possible, making sure Yoongi was able to see every inch of you swaying your round hips with your dress. You just knew that he was checking you out as you smirked, walking back towards your table.

Jungkook’s eyes looked up when you returned, his demeanor a bit more serious than ever before, mainly because he could see Yoongi trailing behind you, smirking. His cat-like dark eyes looked back at Jungkook’s big and impressionable ones with a dark envy, a kind of territorial way that made Jungkook’s stomach bubbled in jealousy.

He wasn’t sure what happened to the two of you in the bathroom, but he knew something happened and he did not like it.

Later on in the night as you gushed about the bathroom incident, Jungkook’s mind was going haywire, trying to grapple with his own feelings about the current state of affairs. There has to be a way to get out of this situation. He needed Sana’s number to drown out what he was feeling, and he needed it now.

As he continued to give one-word answers and hums, you raised an eyebrow as he slammed the front door behind you, plopping onto the couch.

“Is everything okay?” you asked, setting your purse on the coffee table in front of him.

Jungkook, deep in his phone, responded in the driest manner,

“Well, it looks like we got the man jealous so…” he put his hand out toward you. “Give me Sana’s number.”

You blinked.

“What? We’re not done yet!” you argued, putting your hands on your hips, shocked. “The rule was I give you her number when Yoongi wants me back!”

“Well, technically he does because he’s jealous,” Jungkook emphasized, scrolling through Instagram, putting more focus on the jealous part of the sentence. “He’s probably gonna ask that tomorrow or whatever, so give me Sana’s number.”

You squinted your eyes, leaning closer toward him to match his eye level. Jungkook could sense it as his heart beated faster as he peered up, shrugging.

“What?”

“You’re thinking about her, aren’t you?” you questioned, slowly breaking into a smile. “That’s why you’re ignoring me.”

Jungkook sighed. You were incredibly terrible at catching cues, but for once, it was a blessing in disguise. It wasn’t like you were going to return his feelings anyways so it was best that there was this kind of miscommunication.

“Yes,” he lied straight to her face. Keep being the good actor you are and she’ll never know. “Now hand it over.”

“Alright, alright,” you replied, pulling out your phone. “You do deserve it. You looked like you were pretty jealous back there and I’m pretty sure Yoongi felt a certain type of way about that.”

Jungkook’s stomach churned uneasily as he let out a small laugh, licking his lips and playing with his lip rings.

That wasn’t acting, his brain yelled to you. I was pretty fucking jealous, but I can’t really admit it, can I?

It felt like a whole joke, but at least it means it was over. Jungkook didn’t have to play the fake boyfriend game anymore because it would risk him falling in love with you even more. A good time with Sana would make him forget as he was the type to move on easily. Or rather, that was what he hoped anyway. It was hard to tell, as you two got pretty damn close.

It doesn’t hurt to try.

Weeks passed and the conversation has been extremely dry for Jungkook. Turns out Sana already was seeing somebody, and you were being very obtuse about contacting Yoongi again. While he wasn’t sure that you two went on dates together, it seemed that the jig was revealed and you two were in the talking phase with a noncommittal promise that Yoongi would take you to this fancy gala hosted by the company. Jungkook found this out the night before the gala as you two had yet another home cooked meal together.

“—but yeah, he said he would get back to me later tonight about it,” you updated him, munching on some stir-fry chicken that the both of you made together. As you were cooking the chicken, Jungkook kept stealing glances to look at you, occasionally almost cutting his own finger off in the process. Again, you noticed, but again, you chalked it up to Jungkook just being clumsy.

In fact, you had thought of the possibility of Jungkook actually liking you because well, you weren’t entirely stupid when it comes to the age-old trope of fake dating. But, you instilled a lot of trust in Jungkook that you felt like it was just you being full of yourself. Surely, you were a looker and any man would check you out. Also, your chemistry with Jungkook at this point had been strictly friendly, and if he was into you, he would’ve made moves already like he did to most of the girls he picked up.

Of course, you had no idea he would act completely different around girls he hooked up with versus girls he actually likes.

After a moment of silence, Jungkook asked a rather weird question, uncharacteristic of him.

“Hey, I was uh, thinking if you wanted to smoke some weed with me tonight. You know, just to unwind.”

You raised an eyebrow, tilting your head.

“What, really? You’re not much of a smoker if I remember correctly.”

Jungkook looked down in his bowl, playing with his rice.

“I know. It’s because I get kind of weird with it and like…” he continued fumbling with the rice even more, “I don’t know, I feel comfortable with you enough to where I think I’ll be okay.”

You pouted, smiling a bit. How cute of him, you thought. He trusted you so much.

“That’s adorable.”

Jungkook’s ears turned a light pink.

“Yeah uh…I can pack the first bowl, if you want.”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

You couldn’t believe what was happening. You were making out with Jeon Jungkook.

It came absolutely from left field, something that you never thought when you sparked up the first bowl that you would end up in this position. You literally had no crazy and unhinged sexual thoughts of Jungkook up until that point. Besides admitting to yourself that he was very attractive, you were too close to him to even think about him in that manner.

And yet, you kissed back, and you kissed back hard.

You couldn’t explain it, but you knew you were a touchy person when you were high. It didn’t matter who it was, but the more comfortable you got, the more you put your whole body against his, laughing with your whole body as you leaned onto him for support.

He didn’t contest at all. If anything, he held onto you even tighter, his hands gripping your thighs to pull you closer to him. You felt yourself flush red by his sudden strength, by his sudden forwardness. That was what you liked about Yoongi, or rather, what you liked about in a man in general.

Why was he so forward, you thought to yourself in passing. Why was he so…..fucking….hot to me right now?

There was something about the way his eyes lingered on your lips for way too long as you two calmed down, something about the way your head just fit perfectly above his shoulders and collarbone, something about the way the lighting was that made him look like you could just fucking kiss him. You wondered what his lips taste like suddenly, what his lip rings felt like against your own lips, how much he would’ve loved it if you just teased him, pulling against the metal with his hair pushed back and tugged on.

You could hear him moan your name softly, just begging to do more with you, tugging on your thighs so you could sit properly in his lap.

It was a moment that felt like a dream and a blur, something you couldn’t be able to describe. You felt so good in that moment, and he felt so good on your lips. It didn’t feel wrong at all. If anything, it felt so right and so serendipitous.

It’s the weed, you were thinking to yourself as your guys’ lips parted. There’s no way this could be this good sober.

Jungkook’s eyelashes detached from your own as he opened his eyes, smirking almost too confidently. Your eyes widened at what you two had done as you lifted up your legs to get off of him. He held you back, putting his hands on your hips.

“Where are you going?” he purred, his head snuggling into your shoulders. “I thought you wanted more, baby.”

Your spine tingled at his words as his hands roamed up and down your back, massaging at the right places. You held back a moan and gasped sharply instead, shaking your head.

“Jungkook, I—”

“You what…” he continued, his lips nibbling your neck. “You’re with someone?” he slowly began lifting up your shirt. “You’re not with anyone…you’re not even committed to him.”

You tugged your shirt down, shocked at how incredibly seductive he was. As his head tilted up to look into you, he was gone, his eyes red but filled with unbridled passion. He wanted all of you, and he was getting possessive and aggressive.

You could feel your body starting to feel a certain type of way about it. After all, you hadn’t slept with anybody in a while, and the mere fact that Jungkook was all over you was turning you on. You were always physically attracted to him. His chiseled abs, his sharp jawline and his strong biceps sometimes distracted you. As much as you didn’t want to admit it, you were starting to realize the chemistry you two had to be more than friendly at some point.

What if…this whole time…all of his teases and clumsiness was just him flirting with you?

Your stomach dropped at the fact.

“I want to make you feel good,” he mewled, his hands gripping on your ass as he kept kissing your neck. “I hate seeing you just waiting at the door for that fucking guy when I literally have been dropping hints on how much I want you. I want you so bad…so so bad.”

His hips began rolling against your own as he grunted softly, his eyes bearing deep into yours. He wanted you incredibly bad, the type of desire that you didn’t know Jungkook had within him. It reminded you of Yoongi himself, except by now, he would’ve eaten you out.

You felt bad. Felt bad for wasting Jungkook’s time up until this point, and felt bad that you had been ignoring him. All this time when you were trying to chase Yoongi, he was there by your side, just pathetically wanting you like a lovesick puppy.

Your heart sank at the thought of it as you pulled away, cupping his face. His eyes were half-lidded, drunk from the passion and desperation.

“Jungkook, I can’t do this,” your eyes began tearing up. “I can’t have you be like this. You’re my friend and I just…” you sniffled. “I don’t see you anymore than just hooking up right now.”

He blinked slowly, biting his lips.

“I don’t fucking care,” he replied simply. “I don’t fucking care if you don’t like me back. Even if we were to fuck now, I don’t care if you don’t catch feelings. As long as you’re mine at this moment and nobody else’s. As long as you think of me the way you feel about him at this moment…” his lips made a small pathetic smile, “You can use me, I don’t fucking care. I want you too much…way too much. Just to fucking taste you, I’d risk it all. I’d do anything for you...”

He slowly dropped off the last syllable, slowly dozing off to sleep. You sighed deeply, putting his head back against the couch. As you slowly got off of him, you saw the time, realizing it was already the morning of the gala.

Fuck. What do I do now?

[MIN YOONGI: Are you ready to go?]

[MIN YOONGI: I’m on my way.]

[MIN YOONGI: I’m here.]

You and Jungkook were staring into each other’s eyes from across the room. He wasn’t trying to put up a front anymore as he swallowed hard, sticking his tongue around the edges of his mouth.

You two were dressed up to go to the same gala, except this time, it wasn’t together. You couldn’t help but to feel a great distance between you two since last night, and it has gotten incredibly awkward.

Jungkook apologized profusely after he had woken up, but it was through a closed door. You locked yourself in your room at that point, trying to reorganize your emotions about everything. You were replaying every moment you two had in your head as things began to make sense. Jungkook was clearly in love with you and didn’t have the heart to say it, and you took advantage of him. You wondered if it was the right decision to even go to the gala at this point, as it would stick the knife even more that you guys weren’t seeing each other.

In fact, you forgot about Yoongi completely since last night, wondering if all this time you were just chasing that feeling of being wanted or needed by a strong-willed guy instead of Min Yoongi himself. Yoongi still made you nervous, but that feeling also came back as Jungkook knocked on your door, begging to talk to you. Your stomach was in knots, just thinking about how he kissed you so passionately last night, how much he wanted you…

You were thinking twice about this gala date. Badly.

[MIN YOONGI: Hello?]

As you wore yet another revealing dress, all dolled up and pretty, you opened the front door, swinging your purse over your shoulder as you hastily text back:

[YOU: Sorry, I’m coming!]

With one more look at Jungkook, who at this point was looking at his phone, you closed the door behind you and there you went, breaking his heart even more to pieces.

It didn’t take long before Yoongi was all over you. The moment you got in the car, he immediately pounced, making out with you in the same passion and energy as Jungkook did the night before. He desperately wanted to taste you, and perhaps, twenty four hours ago, you would’ve relished every moment of it even more than you did now.

“I fucking missed you,” he breathed as he parted his lips from you, leaning back against the driver’s seat. “I couldn’t stop thinking about what you sent me last night…”

You forgot. You had sent some spicy nudes to him prior to getting high and frisky with Jungkook.

How fucking awful, you thought. You were really messing with these men’s feelings.

As Yoongi backed up from the parking spot with one hand, he wiped his mouth with the other free hand before putting it on your lap.

“Fuck, I wish I was Jeon Jungkook, that fucking bastard,” he growled, shaking his head. “The fact that that kid is in your house when you took those is not fucking right.”

Your stomach lurched at the mention of his name. Fuck, you were all over that guy last night. It seemed on the surface that Yoongi knew you did. Maybe perhaps he was in the apartment with you two as your tongue swirled around Jungkook’s, your hands pressed against his stiff, hardened chest as his dick did the same, wanting to fuck you desperately.

Maybe Yoongi would’ve joined you guys, volunteering his tongue to eat the both of you out. The thought of the both of them fucking you at the same time was getting you feeling a certain type of way, but you shook that nasty thought of yours aside.

God, you were so fucking toxic for both of them. What the hell are you going to do? You can’t have both of them.

Can you?

“Fuck,” you muttered under your breath, laughing quietly to yourself. What a hot mess you were in.

Yoongi heard you and looked at you with a big smirk. You snapped back into your horniness immediately, fantasizing fucking the both of them. Just the idea of the both of them taking turns as you relished in having both was exhilarating for you.

“Fuck what?” he said in his low voice. “You want to fuck before the gala starts?”

You bit your bottom lip, closing your legs as if you were being shy about it.

“If you want…” you batted your eyelashes not-so-innocently. “I’ve been missing that fucking tongue of yours.”

Despite coming later, Jungkook didn’t see you at all. As he craned his neck around the hotel conference room, he didn’t see Yoongi or you. Could it be that you two had skipped it all together? He wondered, but also, that dreadful feeling in his stomach that the two of you were together made him feel sick.

Of course, he had no idea you were getting eaten out by Yoongi in the backseat of his Mercedes GT in the parking lot, trying to not make much noise as people began to pass by the vehicle.

What you loved the most was Yoongi’s fixated stare on you as he made sure to get you to orgasm before coming in. You knew how much Yoongi took care of you during sex, and the fact that he was willing to give just showed how much he missed you and wanted you incredibly badly.

What made you more turned on was the fact that you fantasized about Jungkook watching the both of you through the tinted glass, jerking off just outside of the car. You imagined how much he whined about wanting to get inside to fuck you too, joining in on the action.

You relished the idea of a threesome, even though you knew the both of them would hate sharing. That turned you on even more as you came in minutes, sloppily kissing the living hell out of Yoongi as a thank you.

As Yoongi delicately put back your thong in place, you sat up and fixed yourself as he chuckled darkly, wiping his mouth with his suit jacket. You leaned in, fixing the tie that he swept over his shoulder to position himself in front of your spread legs from earlier.

“You still taste so good babe,” he purred, kissing your lips. Sweeping his tousled hair back with his hand, he opened the door behind him and stepped out the car delicately, extending his hand out after like a chauffeur gesturing to their passenger to get out.

You giggled, sliding your bottom across the red leather seats as you got out, pulling your dress back down. Grabbing your hand, Yoongi pulled you closer against his frame, smiling widely at you.

“Let’s go in.”

Your eyes were scanning for Jungkook. You wanted some minutes with him too, and it didn’t take long before you found him in the corner with a drink, eyes already meeting with yours. He looked like a lovesick puppy that needed immediate attention, and you wanted to give that to him.

As Yoongi gave you a light smooch and excused himself to talk to Thomas Wesley, you snuck toward the back of the room where Jungkook was. As you sultrily strutted toward his direction, Jungkook straightened himself up immediately, clearing his throat as you confidently pushed him against the wall.

“Fuck, what the hell,” Jungkook exclaimed. His eyes widened at your eyes, darkened with sexual desire.

Before he could say more, you grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the gender neutral bathroom door, whispering in his ear,

“Do you want to finish what we were doing yesterday?”

Jungkook was taken aback by your words, completely speechless. He didn’t know what else to say other than one word of confirmation and there you went, whisking Jungkook away to give him a few minutes of your time.

As you pinned him against the wall and made out with him, you thought of Yoongi banging on the door, demanding to come inside to see the both of you unraveling. Jungkook didn’t take much time to explore your body and specifically, your still very wet and well-licked pussy.

“You fucking whore,” Jungkook hissed, his fingers rubbing deep in your folds. “Yoongi was here first, wasn’t he?”

“Mm,” you mewled back, putting your arms around his neck. “I decided I want the both of you at the same time, same place…”

Jungkook’s head was spinning.

“Fuck you,” he growled, slowly jerking you off. “You’re such a cheater, a fucking whore.”

“Am I?” you moaned back, leaning into his body. You were quivering at how fast Jungkook’s fingers were going as you tugged his belt open, unzipping his pants. “You guys are so hot, how can I not want to be filled up by both of you?”

Jungkook pulled his fingers away and turned you around, bending you over. You gasped sharply as he led you to the sink, your hands on the opposite sides of it. Pushing your thong out of the way and pulling your dress up, he pulled his pants down, showing his hardened dick.

“Well, let me go first then,” he tapped his dick on the side of your ass as you moaned softly before going into you, filling you up. You gasped loudly as you straightened up with Jungkook putting his arm around your neck, fucking you senselessly. You tried your best not to scream out loud to not alert any of the guests, but fuck, Jungkook was incredibly good.

He didn’t take that long before he finished cumming on your exposed ass before beginning to fix himself up. As you pulled your dress down, furious knocking was heard on the other side of the door. The both of you cursed quietly to yourself as you went over, hair still slightly out of place as you opened the door slightly to see who it was.

“Fuck, you had more fun without me?”

Yoongi scoffed as you closed the door behind you, sheepishly fixing the bottom of your dress.

“I’m sorry, I guess I’m having a bit too much fun with the both of you,” you laughed lightly as, to your surprise, Yoongi’s lips turned into a smirk. He wasn’t angry. If anything, he was relishing at the idea of the both of them taking turns on you. It was then you remembered how much Yoongi enjoyed public sex in general.

Licking his lips, he pulled you around the waist as he nuzzled your neck. As you two made your way towards your table, he whispered,

“You want another round with me in an hour?”

Throughout the night, the both of them rotated you around. It was the best that you could manage and soon enough, by the end of the night, you three were back in Yoongi’s Mercedes, having a great time. As Yoongi finished his load in you in the backseat and Jungkook finished himself in the passenger seat, all three of you hummed in satisfaction. You sat back up into Yoongi’s lap as he wrapped his arms around you, leaning against your shoulder.

“Maybe this could work out,” Yoongi broke the silence, chuckling. “I mean, I don’t want to see you fucking her myself, but we can have a little arrangement together.”

“I don’t mind,” Jungkook smirked, pulling up his boxers and pants. “It’s not a bad idea, right?”

You grinned, kissing the both of them separately before responding,

“Yeah. It’s not.”

[END!]

#jungkook #yoongi #yoongi x reader #jungkook x reader #yoongi fanfic #jungkook fanfic #bts smut #bts #mine #writing #HHHHH it's been a minute!!!#like i am DYING and i have no home but i will write fic yup #yoongi is like.....hard to write but i PERSERVED #he's so sexy in this i would eat him so bad #but jungkook <3 #my lovesick loser puppy jungkook <3 #anyways pls enjoy i had fun writing this #yoongi is so hot in this im sorry im sorry ims orry im LOYAL I SWEAR

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