#aka keep putting it off

[qwortywarrior]

Bard of Doom, Mage of Heart, Knight of Void

#hololive id #homestuck #kureiji ollie #pavolia reine #anya melfissa #Bards destroy their Aspect and Doom is death #Ollie is a zombie aka undead so that checks out #bards are also wildcards which fits ollie at least way more than being a Prince #reine is a huge shipper which puts her in Heart territory #she avoids putting herself in that position though (mostly with fans but i think also with other holomem) #much like the mage of heart in hs keeping a shipping document but not having a ship of her own #anya was the one i was least certain about #she doesn’t really have many extreme or out there traits to go off of #she is however very strict about maintaining professional distance with her fans #Knights are defenders who serve their Aspect but also use it as a shield #Void covers secrecy and the unknown #Anya defending her right to privacy and not disclosing everything to her fan base fits those definitions #void also covers inanimate objects and anya is a knife so there’s that

[hecksupremechips]

The best feeling in the world is when there’s a piece of media you know you love and you’ve hyped it up as your favorite thing for so long but you haven’t revisited it in a while so you start to worry if it’s really as good as you make it out to be and so you go back and revisit it and it’s like. Oh this is even better than I remembered this shit rules

#the klock keeps ticking #i always get this feeling when i play 999 but tonight i got it with the letter #cuz ive uh finally decided to bite the bullet and play the evil meanie route where everyone dies 😟 #a route ive put off for so long cuz its just too damn sad to think about akjdksk god it hurts #and ive played like for the most part every route of this game EXCEPT this one but i know the ending is really dark and i need to see it #plus i will at least get my beloved torture scene in so thats nice #i didnt kill off isabella though its a coma route which i hope still allows me to get the ending i want cuz i mean shell still be out of #commission in the final scene so hopefully it works out #but yeah no i started off tonight on the marianne chapter and while i did skip around through it cuz ive played it many times and i just #wanna get to the important stuff already alskj i also just replayed some of the best parts #aka the shit where lorraine appears and the gay shit alksks and god like hnnnghh not only does this chapter still ruin me emotionally #i also just remembered why i love this character so much and remembered just how good the character writing in this game is #and i also played into the rebecca chapter and didnt skip as much cuz i actually am not as familiar with the coma route #cuz it makes me sad and i never revisited it lol and i havent gotten to The Scene that makes me sob yet #its so coming though dont worry but idk i guess its just been cuz ive been thinking about p3 so much lately #and in particular shinji both the death route and coma route but in particular the coma cuz thats what im writing #and damn lol the letter just writes the grief and nuanced relationships and death stuff so much better lol god #like marianne loses her childhood best friend whom she has a gay ass relationship with to suicide and like its just better #she blames herself and still isnt even kinda okay with it after 13 years #like it just fucking ruined her and the only thing keeping her from losing it is her repression and drinking problem and unattached sex #and then with coma route well fucking first off isabellas friends actually like. visit her frequently damn #and they just all have such unique ways of coping like Zach is being optimistic so no one gets too upset #rebecca is sorta in charge of making sure everything goes smoothly she has to contact the family and make big decisions #and shes also just taking the most stress and shes got so many complicated feelings around isabella going on but she genuinely cannot stand #that isabella is hurt shes fucking destroyed she loves isabella and then ashton AAAAA god yeah i also just remembered that hes SUCH a good #character hes like being a genuine asshole right like Rebecca calls to tell him that isabella is comatose now and he literally doesnt let #her say anything he literally says ‘i dont have time for other things rn’ like the wellness of his friend is just ‘other things’ #but you just know thats not it not at all hes burying himself in work to the point of destruction so he can figure out who did this and make #everything okay and he refuses to show even an ounce of vulnerability cuz THE SECOND HE DOES IT ALL COMES OUT AND HE CANT GET OUT OF BED #ANYMORE CUZ HOW IS HE SUPPOSED TO BE OKAY WHEN THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE IS DYING

[todayisafridaynight]

i think ichi would still go into work while suffering from *gameritis and hes so brave for that he's so committed

#snap chats #*aka playing videogames too much to the point of his wrist hurting from pushing the buttons so much #aka. me LMAOO OWWW OWIE OUCH VIDEOGAMES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FUN NOT PAIN #the alternative is him calling arakawa at like 8AM in pain and shit all 'boss... im real sorry... i wont be able to make it today...' #and then instead of ichi like. Dying it's just cause dragon quest 6 came out and he binged all of it over the weekend #CRYING at the thought arakawa keeping up with videogame releases just to know when to esp look after ichi #like Hey Totally Unrelated Don't Think About It But I Got Someone To Cover You This Weekend.... that kinda b ☠️☠️ #and then its like Oh Wow New Game Coming Out Friday What Luck :))) ☠️☠️☠️ #sometimes he'll put his foot down dont worry.... theres SOME limits to how lenient arakawa can be.... #n e way. i cant feel my thumb and my tendon feels funky.. so i am no longer playing games and i am Doing My Job.... #luckily my drawing wrist isnt affected but still.. lmao.. #im almost done with the sketches for them so then i can just send those off to my commissioners and then ima do a quick lil doodle #either that or ill sketch a comic... tho whenever i do that i end up never doing them.. #might convert it to a fic but anyway back to work

[thelastofhyde]

... umm, anyway, part two of the likeability paradox will be up tomorrow.

#𐀔𓂃 〝 hyde speaks ! #posting this so i can hold myself accountable #aka finish writing that last bit of smut i keep putting off

[truethes]

played a bit of gen.shin and all i have to say is, yeah i get it😭

#TBD. #❛ ♡ › jupiter : 𝐨𝐨𝐜. #ive only just met amber but like i love her and would give her the world thank u for joining my team queen #i keep on getting messages pop up tho so ill probs put it down until i can play it properly aka on friday when i have time off #its good but also im not very good and that always leaves me on a rocky start with video games GFHSJJSHGDHS #brain never computes ... u have to practice to get good at things

[leenaur143]

guess who finally started only friends!!!! the way I have been liking posts about it since even before it aired but never actually had the guts to go watch it but the TIME WAS RIGHT yesterday and I watched it and why is it... so flipping good?

#i was scared at first cause everyone said it was jusf full of... a lot of physical intimacy but it is so much more than that #ive only just finished episode 3 but its so gripping because of how invested the actors are in their roles and embodying their characters #like RAY OH MY GOD MARRY ME??? nah jk khao is just 😘😍🥰 #and ofc my bby first - he plays sand so well even if im not the biggest fan of the singing 😭 i love HIM too much to care #only friends the series #ive always been wary of top cause force is a liverpool fan and if ive learnt anything from my 18 years on this planet its dont trust them #immediately at least #some of my best friends are liverpool fans but this would be my first show of his and so far so... hmmmm #one major thing which put me off even starting was that i saw a clip saying boston and gap aka neo and drake hook up episode 1 #and i CANNOT watch that after watching cause youre my boy like these are my babies but it was fine in the end because i just skipped it 🤣 #ive come to realise i could literally not care less about sex so i just skip all those scenes because the show has more depth than that #anyways i will keep watching and hopefully catch up before next saturday!!!

[orcelito]

i had june bug out from about 7 pm to 1 am, & it went pretty well!!! Tally still doesn't like her, but she mostly kept to herself. I didn't have to break up any fights, & I know june bug appreciated being out for an extended period of time

i put her back in the bathroom for the night bc im still not 100% sure of keeping them out when I can't supervise, but if tomorrow goes well too then I may just leave june bug out overnight. We'll see.

#speculation nation #i'll still keep her in the bathroom when im off at work until im SURE she wont get in fights with tally #it's a progression. im a light sleeper so if they Did get into a fight it'd probably wake me up #and then i can interject. cant do that if im not here at all lol #june bug objected Strongly to being put back into the bathroom. aka why im considering leaving her out overnight tomorrow #she doesnt wanna be in there & so if she manages to not get in fights with tally. well im plenty happy to have her out #she is so very skittish. i cant tell u how many times ive accidentally scared her just doing my thing #her following me to the kitchen then getting the shit scared out of her from me digging smth out of my freezer #im hoping she chills some with time. probably will always be jumpy but hopefully she'll learn most apartment things r safe #god help her any time i pull out the vacuum though... #anyways yea. new cat introduction is going Fine. tally didnt hiss or growl today and im calling that a win.

[icannotgetoverbirds]

it's called cowpunk

BUT THERE'S NO FUCKIN'. PLAYLISTS ON YT THAT ARE SONG COMPILATIONS

IT'S ALL PLAYLISTS PUT TOGETHER USING THE FUCKIN' PLAYLIST FUNCTION AND MY BRAIN WON'T LET ME TRY THOSE OUT FOR SOME ARBITRARY REASON

please for the love of god i want to listen to punk country music. i've secretly always loved the way that country music sounds but the lyrics are just so terrible so often that i've stayed away from it for the sake of my sanity

but punk as a genre has never failed me so COWPUNK, which is the punk subgenre in country music, should be fucking amazing. but there's like 5 playlists and brain is too scaredys to look at them. screaming crying throwing up taking my brain out and picking it apart with tweezers until i can figure out why those aren't good enough so i can problem solve

#byrd chirps #cowpunk #music recs please #i think the whole thing is just too new #and the safest-feeling way for me to explore new genres is with those playlists that are a single video all put together #with the songs listed by timestamp #and ideally there'd be lyrics somewhere but that's just a bonus #and apparently none of those exist on youtube #WHY GOD WHY do i have to enjoy obscure genres #i don't WANT them to be obscure #sure if they're popular they might get commercialized #(that's probably why punk doesn't do very well is because it often commercializes poorly no matter the quality) #but then at least there'd be PLAYLISTS #and no im not gonna make a playlist are you kidding me? #i can't fuckin work a video editor! and i don't have the spoons for a yt channel yet that shit is terrifying #because i stg the moment any subscribers find out i care about fat activism it'd be off with my head! #idk maybe we could incorporate some country music into what we're doing? we could be folk cowpunk? #you know with AKA #but i'd have to discuss that with the others and i don't want to keep messing with the band and like #country is not a loved genre these days particularly for leftists #because of the whole tendency towards christonationalist lyrics yknow? #so i make no promises and hold no hopes for that #gotdamn that's a good line i gotta use that more often #anyways.

[mypimpademia]

Alsooo I looked for my placements for madddd asteroids earlier today and ts was crazy bc it really made sense💀💀 like wow I just pieced myself together!

#pimpvinity #only one i was a tad displeased by was my narcissus placement😒 #my shit was in mf SCORPIO. #and just so anybody seeing this (even tho its late asl) dont gotta look it up- #-the narcissus asteroid basically represents your vanity (it makes more sense if yk the greek mythology behind narcissus) #and since my placement is in scorpio aka THEE narcissistic sign it means i can come off as a narcissist or just really self absorbed #i like to think im down to earth tho mmcht. #i can be self absorbed at times tbh! but its not like its on inappropriate timing if yk what i mean!! #and its definitely not to the point of narcissism or coming off as narcissistic! #and either way i be keeping ts to myself! like yeah i think im all mf that and then some ngl! #but its not like i actively put it on display or invalidate others w it yk #i just love me some me is all!

[rxkuyo]

not me having to cancel the one event I was actually looking forward to because of work last minute 🥲

#not gonna lie to y'all #my will to live is dwindling so fast with every passing day ✌🏻 #everyday I wake up to another minor inconvenience happening #but at this point with my worsening mental health they all feel like massive inconveniences lmao #I hate my fucking piece of shit life so much and I see no realistic way out of my current living situation #other than the option to off myself 🥲✌🏻 #I'm literally so tired of my existence ngl #I'm doing all this for a shitty minimum wage job at a place that doesn't pay me for half the shit I do because they are fair and all #to barely make enough money to feed my pets and treat myself to a videogame every couple of months #which I am aware is more than some people have #but it isn't enough to move tf out and away from my piece of shit dad #and it certainly isn't enough to be able to afford actually working towards my trainer's license aka #the only bearable line of work I can see myself actually being somewhat good/ successful in #like I'm working my ass off and it's getting me literally nowhere and I'm starting to get so fucking frustrated #but then I also can't leave this place because I have to take care of my sick horse that isn't even my horse #but there's no one else who'd look after him #his owner certainly isn't #and I am fully aware that I cannot save him and he is doomed to be put down in the forseeable future #but I can at least keep on doing everything I can to at least ease his suffering for whatever time he has left #while seeing him get worse is also affecting me mentally like pretty negatively at times #like that horse has been the one single good thing in my life for the past years and with him likely dying #my reason to bear it all and keep going is just like gone ? #which is fun #it's fun #I love it #love my existence so much I literally just want this shit to be over aha #<3 #personal #suicide mention tw #not literally but also literally iykwim ✌🏻

[cosmogyros]

.

#thinking about friendship today and who i consider 'friends' #maybe i'm sometimes a bit too generous with the term #friend 1 (Squish E for those keeping track at home): #hadn't seen me in person in eight months before the company party last month #but there was some sort of bingo card piece of paper going around the party #with various characteristics listed on it and you had to put down the name of someone who had one of them #and he put me down for 'can sing really well' and i was half-drunk by then and said omggggg #and he loudly announced to everyone: cosmo is an amazing singer! have you heard her music?! #friend 2: i've known her on and off for years and she messaged me today saying #'did you end up fb-adding that guy james i introduced you to?' #'i think he maybe added the wrong cosmo - he seems to think you're a singer?' #and i responded 'uh yeah... music is like... my main thing in life? did you seriously not know that?' #and she went 'haha i thought he must have the wrong person! i can't imagine you as a musician! do you really sing?' #and i said 'i sing and play guitar and write all the songs myself yeah 😂' #and guess what... i never told either of these people about the music part of my life #i just have the link to my musician page displayed prominently at the top of my fb profile #so it's incredibly easy to find if you... y'know... have the slightest modicum of interest in me as a person #and are interested in learning more about me - interested enough to ask e.g. 'what is your greatest passion in life' #to which i will usually answer 'music / songwriting / singing' #so anyway. exhibit A vs exhibit B. aka maybe true friendship vs... not true friendship lol #in other news i love and appreciate Squish E #even if i never see him anymore :( #friendship #cosmo gyres #personal

[suispiria]

mom left for canada early in the morning then my gma came over to stay w us for a few days but dante was on the way and she lost her balance and fell and broke her wrist and she’s having surgery this afternoon and my dad is irate with all of us (gma included) because he always gets like this when anyone in this house even dares to sneeze and now I’m worried he’s going to do something to my dog

#and the whole ordeal is my fault because I didn’t go to the airport with my brother to drop mom off so I also wasn’t there #when he came back and took dante on his morning walk which in turn meant I wasn’t there to notice he forgot to put the measuring tape dante #is afraid of near the door aka the only way to keep him away from the door while ppl take off shoes etc etc because he’s nosey #and my brother always forgets to put it back when they come back from walks #but I’m usually there to do it except today because I was catching up on sleep after two days of being #irresponsable and going out and only getting a couple hours of sleep

[yuichiroswife]

{ GJHFGCHVJBKHGF— I completely forgot that my birthday is literally in less than a month. Forty-eight days to be exact actually if you don’t count the ninth of this month since it’s literally about to be the ninth as I’m posting this. I don’t even remember how old Imma be and I’m not even that old! Pretty sure I’m close to mid-twenties though? Maybe? I dunno. I stopped keeping track after I turned twenty. One second...

August 26th, 1998. So 1998, it’s 2022... Uh.... 24.

Imma be twenty-four! And yes, my dumbass had to do math on the post. Bite me. I’m not smart and I struggle really bad with math, given the fact I have a math disability and all that. My friend Vira usually does the math for me because she is a math wizard and a freaking blessing.

Anyway... I’M NOT READY TO BE IN MY MID-TWENTIES YET. Oh, also, big shout out to @s-talking​ for the lovely little drawing he made for me when I was feeling like crap for almost a month or more. It’s so freaking adorable that it is now my profile picture. I hope that’s okay, Envyness. If not, let me know. I also changed Mika’s cover photo to the drawing they made me for my birthday last year (last year? Pretty sure it was last year...) because I freaking love it. It’s so pretty. Y’all should totally check out their art, it’s so flawless. I’m still hellbent on trying to get some kind of money to get a commission someday.

I’m sorry, I just realized I topic jumped. KJHGHINJ— My partner keeps telling me that I probably have ADHD, but I dunno for sure. Okay, enough rambling, back to doing stuff. }

#{ I apologize to everyone following me who has to read the nonsense I post. } #{ I know I can't keep a coherent thought for more than a second. } #{ But I do try. } #{ I am just... too freaking excitable. } #{ Over... literally nothing. } #{ I get excited over nothing. } #{ You could throw a freaking sock at me with googly eyes and I'd be excited about it. } #{ Even if you just tell me that you got a new pair of glasses (and I mean bland ass glasses) I will still get excited and wanna see. } #{ Y'all are lucky you don't have to verbally speak to me because if I am comfortable with you... my mouth moves a mile a minute. } #{ I will literally give you an entire conversation about whatever the hell has my attention in that moment and talk your ear off. } #{ Somehow my only friend from my childhood school years (aka my best friend) puts up with me and enjoys listening to me. } #{ She says it's fun cause I always have something to say so it's never boring which is very nice to hear. } #{ Vira is also subjected to this via text and verbal chat. } #{ ...I'm doing it again. I'm sorry. } #{ Okay. Let me go for real before I type a whole freaking essay of nonsense. } #✠ [ ' ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ʟᴇᴀᴅs ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ ᴄʟᴏsᴇᴅ ᴅᴏᴏʀs. ' ] - ✡ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ✡

[bendyy-blog]

I have motivation to maybe fix up my blog a bit !! Yippee !!

Let's hope this lasts once I've done irl stuff ..!!

#this mainly means “im gonna try to draw ref sheets for me again” #but everytime i have so far i just.. fail because i am Hard to Draw for me #i rely on points a lot more in my style and drawing me ? whos made of mostly circles ? awful #also ink demon is hard because i havent #figured out how exactly i look as that #i know what makes me most euphoric (aka whats most correct) on toon though and Blendy just appearered in my head so obviously #its easy to draw #anyways the main reason i keep putting this off is because i wanna make my intro post have ref sheets along with it so i cant Do that until #the refs are done #autism be damnrd this thing cant comprehend doing things in different orders

[sungwoonha]

🥲

#an update no one asked for but: #currently not in the best place possibly mentally and physically at my worst #so our season just started going on 2 weeks alr which in itself… whew it drains me i’m drained #being around high schoolers and having to put my coaching cap on is Hard #also exactly a week ago i was in the ER absolutely dying of pain from a kidney stone . #still currently dealing w that btw ….then two days ago woke up my throat feeling funky and later on that day my eyes and head just hurting #🙂🙂 and later that night while asleep woke up sweating from head to toe and just body on fire.. #i was scared of taking even advil bc i was alr on so much meds so i just toughed it out and yea.. horrible night #then the next day aka yesterday i was still feeling horrible once i woke up but i think i finished sweating it off once it got time for me #to head to the pool for practice #now this morning i woke up and my throat felt not great still but now it’s developing into a nice cough🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 #so all this is just rly…. sending me and keeping me just LOW…. #anyway… hope everyone is doing well truly bc /: also it only being a week since i’ve started feeling this week sounds… crazy like o feel #i’ve been suffering for longer……. #p

[gibbearish]

80 years already feels short as hell but it also feels long as hell yknow. whereas if i instead say 29,200 doesnt that feel so much shorter

#ignore me am in a depression bout doing math to make myself feel worse #something about how life is exhausting cause like say i live 80 years total i still have abt 60 yrs to go which is abt 22000 days #which means i have to take 11000 showers and brush my teeth 44000 times and buy groceries 3143 times #and doctors appointments and get a job and pay rent and pay phone bill and pay credit card bill and pay and pay and pay #and clean the litterboxes and clean the bathroom and feed the cats and feed the lizard and clean your room and do laundry #and fold laundry and put away laundry and hang up laundry and get dressed and do laundry again and again and again #its EXHAUSTING #and i have suicidal thoughts repellant aka a severe phobia of death and the afterlife or lack thereof #which sounds great and is certainly helpful however it also induces a certain level of hopelessness #cuz no matter how shit i feel theres no way off this ride for me. i just have to keep goinf #the way i explain it to myself is like. i feel like im limping towards a finish line so i can collapse the second i cross it except #there is no finish line‚ the race is just life and it doesnt matter if i dont have the energy to keep going because #not keeping going just isn't an option #i have no energy. im so tired. n i dunno whats gonna happen when i run out of money but am still out of energy #i suppose i go back to overdrawing the tank again probably n just. hope the drain isnt so fast this time and i #can get to a rest point sooner #one way or another i continue #whether thats a pessimistic or optimistic statement is up to you