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#alas im shit at that kinda thing lol

birdo-is-here · 12 days

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ayee this one has a bit of lore behind it but not in the way you’d think!

This is Mary (she/her), she is based off the Mary Sue,,, trend?? stereotype?? idfk whatever Mary Sues were supposed to be Mary is kinda. supposed to be the personification of that

Now I babble quite a bit today so there’s a cut, but i’ve got some stuff to say about her

Now. First of all I want to say Mary is a muuuch older character of mine. I made her probably when I was 11 or 12, that’s at least 4 years ago

Here’s a fun fact about me, I had absolutely no critical thinking skills until maybe the age of 14 or mid-13s, and at the time I of course did not really realise the issues the entire Mary Sue thing had in general

Since those four years i’ve realised that I. really do not like the Mary Sue trope at aaallll. It is a very mean trope, simply making fun of young artists/writers for having fun with their characters, which obviously is not very good. As I stated, it feels very mean

Because of this, I’ve kind of wanted to scrap Mary’s entire base concept because like. well duh I don’t really want to make a character like that that just feels so. mean-spirited yk, i don’t wanna do that!! Art is art there are no rules to art you should be able to do whatever the hell you want with it as long as its not hurting others and that’s that!! Don’t bully people for experimenting with colours and styles and tropes!! That’s called being an Ass!

BUT DESPITE THIS. I could never fully scrap her!! Admittedly she had a counterpart for “Gary Stu” which. did get “scrapped”(in quotations because its a lore thing now wooo) But Mary?? I couldn’t get rid of her!! And very recently I think I realised why!!

For some context, Mary (and Gary) was originally from a story where there was a sort of. “spirit” for every known concept to exist, including the concept of Mary Sues and Gary Stues. That being said, Mary (and Gary,,) were basically the rulers of that universe because. need I say why. And they were also incredibly self-aware and could pretty much do whatever they wanted

Does this sound familiar at all?? To me, yep! Mary (and Gary,,,,,,,) was essentially the FIRST Off-Scripter I ever made!! before I ever even came up with the concept! Now, we all know that, chronologically, Naut’s the first Off-Scripter created but with my stories, we all know that chronological timelines aren’t the only timelines here

I think this is the sorta reason why Mary was never fully forgotten because like. that’s significant yk

So what have I chosen to do instead?? Well of course i’ve decided to lean into that Off-Scripter..ness about her A LOT more. I imagine that Author!Birdo probably had the same realisation that I had and tried to “scrap” her (and her universe, that story is probably gonna be scrapped im just not that interested in it anymore 🤷‍♀️ who knows i might get a burst of inspo tho) But! Mary is an Off-Scripter! And in typical Off-Scripter fashion simply decided. not to get scrapped (unlike her bf rip Gary 😔 haunting the narrative route for you)

And its gonna be a hell of a thing where like. Birdo is HELLA peeved about Mary’s existence because they hate it ygm. Just like me, Birdo doesn’t really want a character that feels so mean of a concept to exist in their universe, but alas?? Off-Scripter magic makes shit complicated again :(

Where we go from there?? I’m not too sure! I haven’t planned that far ahead I only came up with this stuff like. literally a couple days ago lol, but yeah there’s that

#birdo’s silly little guys #birdo babbles about the sillies #birdo bintros #birdo makes the sillies real #do i long post tag this one…#sure why not #birdo babbles for an extended period of time

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cethvalier · 22 days

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tagged by @ihrtmichael yaayyy!!

last song i listened to: i actually dont know lol i havent used spotify in a bit and i think the last thing i listened to on spotify was a podcast 😬 my top songs this month though are spider and the fly - london after midnight, pictures of you - the cure, and surrender - suicide. one of those are prolly my last listened to LOL

favorite color: pink. i know a lot of people kinda shit on that dusty pink color but thats a top tier pink imo

currently watching: i've been watching a bit of the bear which is super good, i'm also rewatching atla. i was watching twinkling watermelon as well but i forgot to continue

spicy/savory/sweet: SAVORY is like perfect. like i cant get sick of it

current obsession: right now im not OBSESSED with anything but i think the closest is probably slushy noobz. my bsf just got into their videos and even my mom is a fan so they're inescapable atm! not a bad thing

favorite board game: the game of life? im gonna count uno too just cus i never play board games ever

coffee or tea: didnt want to like coffee and swore up and down that i never would. alas

favorite clothing item: a fleece jacket i stole from my grandmas closet a few years ago. honorable mention to my fleece lined cargos (i promise my whole wardrobe isnt made up of fleece)

last movie i watched: lisa frankenstein (watch number FIVE). for not lisa frankenstein, i last watched the holdovers

dogs or cats: CATS! i have three

i feel weird abt tagging people for? some reason? sooo if you see this and wanna do it, pretend i tagged i guess idk LOL

#martin bias btw

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not-souleaterpost · 3 months

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For a next gen era fic, do you think you need to make the next gen as relatively low level in fighting capacity as Soul Eater's Three meisters were? I had an idea for such a story, but one thing i don't plan to feature is any particular rise in power for the cast(heroes and villains alike). Most of the crew is about as strong as they can be(with all the weapons being Death Scythes), with only one character in particular not being all that spectacular.

I dont know, i know the progress of getting stronger over time is baked into soul Eater's DNA as most Shonen series, but the fact is i think the original explored characters seeking strength as part of their journey well enough that doing it for the next gen is just retreading all ground.

Im way more interesting having the fights be more like the fight pre baba yaga's defeat, with a lot of interpersonal clashes where there are objectives at stake, rather than the fighting for fighting's sake that the manga became later down the line.

That way i can also use the fights to set up interpersonal rivalries between the kids and the witches they will be fighting, ala Black Star and Mifune.

Thoughts on this approach?

Thanks for the question, sorry for only answering it know, I only try to go on here once a week so I don't waste all my time scrolling social media lol.

But back to your question:

I think one reason why Shonen has this power escalation thing, especially in the "new gens surpassing the old ones" (besides obvious reasons like marketing lol) is because one does have the hope that ones children will live in a better world than you, that they will break circles of generational trauma and shit, like that old Nas song "born in correction, he'll be my resurection"

Ofcourse one can simply say that the fact that they dont have to fight that much and can focus on other more important things hence not being so powerful IS the better world the previous gen fought for.

Guess the only problem is that in battle shonen fights and powerlevels kinda define charachter, and thats why non fighters feel useless. (But more controversially I think its partly because not many writters have that inate talent of someone like Toriyama, the DBZ guy, who for example made Bulma a charachter who was interesting and relevant without ever having to fight but eh, dont wanna derail the post lol)

Ofcourse this is a kinda trivial problem, because nobody forces one to stick to the formula of the original work, and I think kinda subverting or evolving it further is more interesting than a simple retread.

But even something that seems to be repeating the same shit can work, like the next gen having the same flaws, or remixed ones, and dealing with the seemingly inescapable cycle of it - the fact that they cant even reach the heights of their parents being one additional problem and question they have to answer for themselves and the world:

Could even be like another type of Madness, entropy, for a charachter going crazy feeling that they are just a worse version of their glorious ancestors, and then thinking that their parents were too, so they're children or the next generations in the future will be even worse or something, leading to a conflict that resolves this contradiction, maybe by showing that the next gen has some novel talent.

And so we go back to the strength thing - I think ofourse it could work, but I think it would be intersting by exploring new applications of the abilitys, like maybe they are not nearly as strong, but more usefull for more problems? Maybe they get spread to a larger population so people dont require some single institution in the middle of Nevada to deal with everyones problems lol.

Maybe even it leads to a world where Kishineggs are a rarity and that is what the next gen accomplishes without doing shit youtubers overanalyze for "Could X beat Superman videos"?

I dunno, maybe I accidentally revealed some ideas from my own Next Gen concept (that Im not sure I'm ever getting to cause I have more than enough on my plate with SE Post, and not sure if I want to spend my whole life doing derivative work lol, but maybe it will materialize someday...) but I think in the end it is very possible to make a story without having charachter strengths baloon like that Macey parade or how its callled.

So yeah go for it, I think you have a good enough understanding of Soul Eater and general "shonen" stories to not fuck up that aspect, or even if you do - its a valuable experience anyways lol. Then I only will say good luck and hope to see it be realised in the future!

Oh and a little side thing - I think its prudent to have the old cast be usefull and not just disapear to not "overshadow" the new one, and thats a way to keep the powers down by knowing what treshold not to cross, and there one can even play with the idea of strength, like to spoil one of my plotpoints, I had an whole arc for an adult BlackStar who is the officially strongest by some rank (idk why they are ranked, lets just say commercialization or new mass media lol), but is kinda unhappy, first because a mysterious second ranked individual gets all the shine but also because he kinda having matured realises that he got alienated from most of his old circle, being alone while many of them had familys and settled down. Basically it would start from there and non of the next gen kids would prolly come close to his strength, atleast physically but idk if my idea comes of good in words, but if it feels like lame "charachter bashing" - Yeah...Sorry

#answered ask #soul eater #next gen #power escalation #hope it helped #lol

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sommerregenjuniluft · 8 months

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heyyy lovely!!! so i was casually stalking your account and i saw you mentioned a pandalily cannibalxdetective fic called “these lips that left some scars” and it sounds insane in a way only the best things are. i was just wondering, with no intention of pressure, if you could give a little bit of a sneak peak of what more the fic could entail in the future?

p.s i am obsessed with the way you’ve set up your profile

hii hello!<3

first of all, thank you so much that’s so sweet of you!! :,

so, funny thing is,, this was actually planned as a oneshot for part of a series i had in mind. the series being sapphic ships in all sorts of different scenarios where one might die and get eaten (other examples being siren x pirate, or vampire x human) buuut, it kinda ran away from me, ideas wise and so i’d like it to have more chapters. still won’t be anything big i think, i’m just gonna throw out estimated less than 25k words because i suck at planning/outlining fic and coming up with plot lol (but we’re all here to improve so who knows *shrugs*)

basically the babes constantly cross paths (because pandora arranges for it to happen, aka continuing her silly little murder spree and letting herself get caught, but with no evidence) and lily is a little deranged and falls prey to pandora’s charm and they end up indulging their fucked up fantasies together in the most romantic way<3 or maybe pandora does end up eating lily. i really dont know yet i’m only the writer, they do shit of their own accords,,,,

as for sneak peaks >:))

Oh, and the pain. The noises they make in pain.

Every other sound that’s coming out of Lily’s larynx is already irritatingly beautiful and exhaustingly enticing. Pandora isn’t sure she wouldn’t come undone in the presence of Lily groaning and panting in pain. Oh, maybe she’s a whimperer.

aand…

Oh, but Lily.

Lily is different though. From the other detectives and uniformed officers. Lily looks.

The first time Lily came onto one of Pandora’s crime scenes she’s pretty sure she fell in love with her.

She hadn’t realized immediately, the glint in Lily’s eyes and not in person, of course, but Xeno has their ways of hacking into security cameras and getting their hands onto whatever footage or information they want—alas Pandora having sent rather explicit death threats, graphic in both the death threat as well as the things she’s going to do to Lily right next to their corpse, to Lily’s bumble matches only a few weeks prior.

i’ve already posted about them some time where Pandora was getting felt up homoerotically pat down for weapons professionally but that’s probably lost somewhere on my blog since i didn’t tag it siigghh

i’m v busy at the moment but this made me really want to write them again, i will fight tooth and nail (my family) to get away for a few hours tonight and pick this back up!!

**also Xeno is Pandora’s aroace nonbinary partner in gay crime, they are very much platonic with each other and live in a symbiotic (no one gets hurt if Pandora gets what she wants in the next 5 seconds) relationship :))

****also im very sorry for taking so long to respond, there are demons (my toddler brothers) dragging me around all day in their fierce clutches keeping me from the vital ways of life (blogging on tumblr) <3

#fic: lips that left some scars #pandalily

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freebooter4ever · 1 year

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Are the lines on your drawings stylistic choices or are they measurement/guiding lines? Either way, they are cool, but just wondered. I dont understand drawing at all, might as well be a magic spell to me. I was looking at the pencil (?) sketch of Malkin with the cheesecutter hat on.

i, uh, definitely did not google 'cheesecutter hat' until after i saved out these images. :/ sorry about that. if you'd like the other one broken down, i can do that too lol. my reading comprehension when im tired is kinda lazy i just saw 'cheese' and imediately thought 'omelette'. SO here's the 1) initial sketch, 2) 'clean' sketch, and 3) final lines for the omelette boy drawing instead:

also i have had a cumulative of about 9 ish hrs of sleep total for the past two days so keep that in mind for if this explanation makes no sense, its not my fault. :( anyway! the way i draw definitely has changed over the years but currently im really trying to focus on the line i "see" rather than the one that is actually "there". i've been applying this to my writing for years (story vs happening truth) and you know it never occurred to me that i could do it in my drawings too till like...a few years ago. in general these lines seem to form the planes of the subject. if you google 'stanford bunny' you can find an easy example of a 3D surface turned into triangles. I do this too - see things in relative triangle proportions, except i've been doing it long before i knew how computers worked. i cant begin to tell you how long d*sney and cartooning's obsession with round building blocks of anatomical structure fucked with my brain until i finally decided i could cast that teaching aside completely.

ANYWAY sorry off subject again. so we have these sketchy under lines, and usually as im trying to find the proportions and form of the subject these lines end up being where the light/shadow hits. here i saved out the 1) 'flat colors', 2) the 'light', and 3) the 'shadow' parts on their own (i lightened the background for the 'shadow' so its easier to see):

the light is like four or five 'overlay' layers of pale yellow/orange. you can see how each of these layers follow one of those sketchy lines i did initially. and the same with the shadow but instead its a dark red color set to 'multiply' for each layer. and when you combine everything together you get:

some bullshit :). anyway you know that anniversary edition of beauty and the beast that featured the version previewed to nyc audiences in 1990 with the glen ke*ne sketchy keyframe animation of the beast's transformation? i watched that - must have been sometime after i graduated college - and i felt robbed that THAT version was never presented as a final piece. the 'unclean' drawings had so much more life and movement and intensity to them. tldr i like the messy lines, i hate 'inking' with a passion (HATE. IT.), and when i finally allowed myself to stop giving a fuck drawing became way more interesting. but my art is shit and i will never be glen k*ane so i dont really feel like the best advocate for this "style". alas. there was this one artist on tumblr who i fucking loved whose sketches were SPECTACULAR but the asshole racists in the m*c*ha*nz*o fandom bullied her off tumblr and ive never been able to find her art anywhere else since. she was also very negative about her 'unclean' sketches and it made me so sad. there was also this other artist whose sketches were awe inspiring but all she drew was p*rn and well...we all know what happened on tumblr in december 2018.

also i 100% stole the lighting scheme from The Bear which is currently one of the most gorgeous shows on television right now in my opinion

im really really sorry if this makes no sense, if im feeling motivated maybe i'll try again when my brain is fully functioning but with the actual 'cheesecutter hat' doodle ^_^

#thank you #wip #where in the world did that hat get the name cheesecutter from????#i guess it does look vaguely cheese wedge like #theres such a fine line between different hat forms #like those 1920s styles especially i mean #for some reason i always thought that style was called the *directors* hat #and then the more round and floppy version walt wore in the 1920s was called either newsboy or cabby hat #i searched for a version of walt's hat for YEARS #and didnt end up finding one until i moved to los angeles and stepped into go*rin bros hat shop in old pas #which is actually the same company geno uses for his trucker hat i think #that hat shop sadly closed :( i dont know why #they just sell online now i guess

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megacarapa · 2 years

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i got myself into another ceramics class!! will you believe that literally THE SAME DAY i was complaining about wanting to make more ceramics, i got an invitation to this class just a few hours later LMAO i jumped right on it, i love manifesting shit😂 i made all of these around the beginning of august

in the class i went to in april-may we just randomly made as many things as possible, this time around we focused on making only one thing every day, so i made only 4 things, but unlike last time i managed to plan ahead a bit better and have actual ideas for how i want everything to look fgdfg

first up is a plate with a moon phases theme. hey! thats a pretty cool idea that i managed to execute pretty well too! im proud of myself!! i skipped out on the gibbous moon bc i was afraid there wouldnt be enough space but now when i look at it its like of course there was enough space, dumbass. but whatever😂

next is a cup with an olive theme! im really happy w how this turned out as well! idk why i keep emphasising that bc im actually happy w how everything here turned out FDGDFG anyway, i really wanted to get it from every angle hence the 50 million pictures, i especially love the details around the handle

robi was staring very intently while i was taking pics so i let him have a sniff lmao

its a vase! this time around i didnt really have any specific idea for a theme, i knew mom wanted a vase so i asked her what she wants it to look like n she just showed me a basic shape n we looked at pictures and she pointed to one that looked like it had blue color spilled over it so i tried to make sth like that. the shape ended up a bit wonky but i still like it

this is a "wall mask" apparently, basically just a decorative piece to put on the wall, i had no idea wtf i wanted to make for this project so i just looked for cute animal pictures and settled on the racoon from this pic, when i was coloring it there was no gray color so the teacher was like why not just color it pink? i had a lol that doesnt happen in nature! moment before remembering who tf cares so now he's a pink racoon :3

the hole in its forehead is there so you can hang it up on a wall, the teacher showed us how to make the hole so i just automatically made it but now i kinda wish i didnt because obviously im not actually gonna hang this thing up on a wall sdfsdf im too afraid that it will fall and break, instead i set it to lean against a wall on an elevated place, so now he has a forehead hole for no reason, alas

i dont have any interesting thing to say for the end this time, my brain is tired... im glad i was able to do these again, the classes are really fun and i love the results, its a really cool feeling to eat lunch on a plate you made and then turn around and eat dessert on another plate you made😂 now its time to go back into observation mode and take notes of anything that seems interesting/i want to make for whenever the opportunity to make these arises again in the future

#mine #my crafts #spoiler tags #...........................................................................................................................................#.........................................................................................................................#robi

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nuclearforest · 2 years

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10, 12, 25, 36 for the writing ask game

Howdy and thanks for the ask!! I already answered #12 for Rotten which will appear under the mun rambles tag, so if you don't mind I'll go for 11 since it's between 10 and 12 lol.

10. How do you decide what to write?

Partially on a whim (which happens a lot) and partially due to interaction! Somebody says they want something and I just love to try and provide. I've got something of a wildbacklog with suggestions and the like rn. But the most consistent theme is that it's goofy shit for my favorite awful bastard man.

Also want to say the backlog just gets longer and longer because those damn whims of mine always creep up on me. Currently looking at doing another little fic around the holidays for Rotten's OC Barrett (guess im out here simping for the whole family); I have like 2 funny romcom ideas (one also from Rotten); my probably eternally unfulfilled desire to write Doc doing something science related; and then whatever else comes to mind.

My life would be easier if I just stuck to drabbles, but alas. I'm always down for goofy ideas and am willing to broaden my horizons.

11. Are you partial to a certain character/pairing or are you more equal-opportunity? If you are partial to any character/pairing, why do you think that is?

Honestly I am a simp for Hans and I think I advertise that well enough. But beyond that, I wanna just talk for a bit about why I'm kinda drawn to Millennium as characters.

So first and foremost they're all awful people with horrible motivations and Hirano did a good job describing that. But beyond their motivations they were surprisingly well written, each with their own personality and goals. I just like the idea between dropping their characters into situations and seeing how they work. Trying to work in other stuff and testing theories to see if they work. Shrodinger and his implications on the crossover between physics and magic in Hellsing is just 👀👀👀

Like Hellsing and Iscariot are fun, too, but as far as my nerd interests and shit: the group with the mad scientist and the werewolf not-stripper I'm out here simping for kinda win that tug of war.

25. What other websites or resources do you use most often when you write?

Google, funny enough. I don't have a go-to because if I'm not wildly pulling things out of my ass or drawing on the plethora of random facts I've amassed over the years, I'm probably just googling something to check. I mean, to be fair the bulk of what I'm writing is supernatural reader-insert smut where there are next to no rules so there isn't exactly a lot to fact check lmao. I wing thr bulk of my work, for better or worse. At least I hope it's entertaining.

But if you're looking for any particular kinds of resources for knowledge or character design I could totally find something for you!

Otherwise for some of the detailed technical historical stuff, I do quite a bit of reading in my spare time. Most if my knowledge of stuff about the Nazi atomic weapons development program (what a mouthful AND a nightmare) comes from the book The Bastard Brigade. I tend to read a lot of nonfiction and I loved that one to bits.

36. Do you visualize what you read/write?

Yep! I do try, anyway. Sometimes because I want to make sure that what I write matches what's going on in my head or that physically things make sense. There's a lot of time I'll double back and say "wait shit I forgot to have so-and-so move this and now they have THREE HANDS"

So when I write I do try to keep a bit of a running visualization. And then I go back through it (maybe) and make sure it makes sense. Hopefully if you read things of mine, you find that I don't miss too much! I do all this without a formal beta, too, so it's a hell of a time if I just churn out a 26k monster. 💀

#mun rambles #tysm #if you ever wanna talk theories or science things let me know

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bbygirldahyun · 2 years

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definitely not insane for disliking it.

ive been REALLY into marvel and then not so in to marvel on and off since Avengers, i watched the first Avengers 12 times in a month and now i havent even seen many of the most recent releases. I just have always thought Wanda was so cool and i love how you can see so much of her story, Wanda kinda ‘grew up’ on screen in the MCU. and then they do this. and for someone who hasnt seen much of newer marvel, im just so sad and disenfranchised.

I also loathe doctor strange so that doesnt help. he’s so integral to the like avengers team now and I cannot stand him so ive skipped out on a few movies lol

wanda definitely did grow up throughout her time in the mcu! she’s one of the only female characters marvel has put a lot of time and development into which is why it’s all the more frustrating how it got absolutely decimated in one singular movie.

something that also irked me a lot about her storyline in MoM is it reduced her so much to just being a mother in her motivations. like, wandavision emphasized how important her children were to her and how elated she was to be a mother, but it wasn’t all there was. she still had storylines beyond that, interpersonal connections with other women in the show (agatha, monica, dottie, etc.). in MoM they made all she cared about her children, in a way that felt so reductive to me. you’re telling me she sees all the possibilities of the multiverse and doesn’t want to see pietro? vision? her mom and dad? hell, even natasha? all these other people who mattered to her aren’t even mentioned.

i also despise doctor strange so you’re not alone there. agatha was so right in wandavision when she said “there will always be torches and pitchforks for ladies like us wanda” like strange came out of the gate antagonizing this woman. that was another thing that i loved about wandavision that was so severely lacking in MoM — compassion. not an ounce of compassion for wanda from anyone. nobody stopped to think regardless of what they consider real, those kids were real to her! she carried and birthed them, cared for them, held them in her arms. the loss was still a loss no matter how it happened. in wandavision we saw so much compassion and empathy extended to her, mostly from monica but also darcy and jimmy to some extent, and even when vision was trying to confront her about what she was doing he did it with an immense amount of kindness and consideration.

hayward implies the loss of vision wasn’t really a loss because he wasn’t “really” a man capable of love (describing vision as property and not a person, saying “bring him back online”) and he’s obviously portrayed as an asshole for doing so, but when strange outright says wanda’s children weren’t real (which we know isn’t true, at least those of us who watched wandavision do 😒) and he’s supposed to be the hero? for what, antagonizing the all powerful scarlet witch and being surprised when he gets absolutely destroyed by her??

yeah idk. i could go on literally all day but, alas. it’ll still be a shit show no matter what i say.

#ask #twicearoundthesun #mom spoilers

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worldwright · 3 months

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Good evening ! ill be reading crackships after the day i just had bc wtf

I finally could get my meds, had some issues regarding that, but my usual pharmacy was nice enough to not care and just handed me my meds for free (im not paying for those things, they don't work at all but i still need to take them)

Im so exhausted, I cant ;-; dont wanna be tomorrow, have a very important call that's useless i have to answer

I KNOW what I'm thinking about kinda sounds bad and is NOT a good idea AT ALL, but I just want to make another attempt, same as last time, just to get some rest for fuck's sake, don't feel rested since September and no news about the psych ward (i think they didn't actually add me to the waiting list, i know it's bad to insinuate that but it's france, everything mental health related is some real shit so it's not that farfetched)

but alas, i cant do that again, because first i like walking, second im waiting for 4 important things (my id, one of the two things i need for 'free' healthcare, the bad i ordered, and finally my doctor's eyes' appointment that i finally have, omg, ill be able to finally have some glasses that fit my eyes, oh do i want them now)

ugh, why am i dealing with so many medical issues, oh yeah i have free healthcare bc france but good lord would it kill them to actually do something that works for once ??????

also, unrelated, someone asked me if i sold or if i knew someone who sold drugs when we were on the bus, that was fun ngl. why would i go do smth illegal when i can be high with my prescribed meds if i dose them right lol

Have a wonderful morning my friend !

goddamn isn't it. so fucking fantastic. that nobody takes mental health seriously unless there's obvious tangible attempts at literal death. that being said you better fuckin not. who will kick the asses of the dickwads managing the psych ward if you don't

obviously I don't expect you to go commit violence lmfao, but like. spite

lol my manager keeps dropping more projects on me. it's like yeah I was confident I could finish those four drawings in time but now there are six. oh you have another one? bitch

I gotta start taking advantage of my medical insurance lol. I switched to a different plan that's ostensibly better, but it takes money out of my paycheck so like. I'm gonna go use that goddamn health insurance. funny how that works. luckily there's a clinic literally one block from my apartment

it's supposed to snow this weekend.... I need to stock up on groceries in case I get locked in (oh no how terrible, having to stay home oh nooooo lmao)

ughhhhh I need to move closer to my friends!!!! I cannot live alone I keep making too much food!! and I'm notoriously bad at eating leftovers!! looking at apartment listings is keeping me alive until I can fuck off out of Seattle

(not that I hate seattle, it's just too far from friends. also it's loud)

hope you have a wonderful and relaxing evening!!

#pen pal

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satoruhour · 4 months

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hi T bby :( i miss youuuu work has got me fucked up

i have qn 😼😼😼

ok how would jjk men react to their baby who squirms A LOT when she comes? like chills all over her body and if she's laying on her back she literally arches her back so hard she's practically upright 😋😋 not speaking from experience ofc (m' lying lol i give myself such mindblowing orgasms no man could ever 🙄🙄🙄)

idk i feel like geto and nanami will literally go feral over this and like when this happens they are the type to pull you up on their lap and like hug you while still thrusting IEKFKEKKEOFO

no need to write alot abt this i just want ur thots on dis eheheheh (also i hope i made sense im half asleep)

SENSITIVITY UPPP !

a/n: omg rose ur mind THANK YOU FOR THIS muacks x, i changed nanami’s a little tho! tagging @hyomagiri @mysugu @shotorus @screampied @jabamin @marimogf @arminsumi @slttygeto @etherealxmaya @happygoluckyalexis 💟

wc: LONG. dont even ask im so annoyed i keep writing sm LMOAOAOA

warnings: sensitive reader for all, reader and gojo fucks for the first time but they arent virgins!!, brief fingering and oral (f! receiving), multiple rounds before actual p -> v sex, protected sex, spitting onto your pussy, bit of degradation, use of ‘slut’, implied filming at the end (gojo), RA!geto, multiple rounds, implied oral (both f! and m! receiving), unprotected sex, creampie / breeding kink (geto), stressed!nanami, oral (f! receiving) / cunnilingus, imagine his goggles having a strap or sum, pussy slapping, slight breast play, clit stimulation, m! masturbation, kinda goofy but we dont pay attention to that (nanami), dad’s bsf!toji (again.. it’s my fav okay), semi-public sex (pool sex), age gap (reader, late 20s and toji, late 30s), spitting, protected sex, slight daddy kink, brief face-sitting (toji), n*sfw under the cut

✶ GOJO

like always, gojo is relentless when he’s teasing you. whether it’s by making cheesy comments in front of his students or declaring his love for you in a nationwide meeting of other sorcerers, or even in private settings where he makes you work for either kisses or his cock, it’s always a sure thing to happen. it’s obvious that it would happen the first time the two of you are drowning in pleasure, too, noticing how you always flinch and your moans get louder when his kisses get a little too deep and passionate.

“are you okay?” gojo asks in between kisses as he undresses you, planting small pecks along your shoulder and down your chest. there is it — your twitches, but all you do is cup his cheeks and bring him to your mouth to distract him from your very obviously sensitive body. he has an inkling about what it might be, but he much rather see it in proper action or for you to admit it yourself. “baby’s so on edge—”

“i’m not,” you pout, letting him wrap an arm around you to pull you closer to him. it didn’t help that you were currently in an awkward position in his office at the goddamn school, trying not to knock over his stationery and papers. well, you were, he definitely doesn’t give a shit. “i’m just . .”

you sigh but no words are articulated, only letting him have his way with you in the afternoon. this whole situation has got you hot and bothered by the circumstances in which you ended up here, body on fire both from his touches and the weather. bit by bit, your body’s revealed to him, work pants thrown to the side and your legs propped up on his wooden desk. it’s almost humiliating, but gojo licks his lips at the dark patch on your underwear.

alas, the first time could’ve been in a better place like his penthouse or a hotel, but the two of you was holding back too much that it has come to settling for his office which he hardly even uses. but gojo has a gift of making anything fit whether it’s squeezing into a top of yours for a tiktok video or a terrible fashion decision on his end or; just like how he tries to fit his fingers in your tight hole.

you have a hard time trying to contain yourself as he marvels at the way he stretches you out, middle and ring finger pushing into your gummy walls that’s just clenching, clenching and clenching, and it’s this day you find out gojo is so good at oral that it’s almost criminal. when his tongue latches onto your clit, there’s a plethora of sounds that leave your mouth while he licks and sucks at it.

“s-satoru—” you’re whining, nails sure to leave marks on the desk from the way you claw at it, but you’re also conscious of how your body moves. he’s just too good, though, slobbering over your dripping cunt and pumping his fingers non-stop. the other arm wraps around your thighs and he’s so tall that he needs to kneel to eat you out and you never thought you’d see the strongest sorcerer on his knees. you’re the first.

“like that? like my tongue on your pussy?” he speaks, muffled, meeting your eyes in a lustful gaze while he continues his ministrations and it’s like that for as long as you can remember for maybe two, three, four times before he finally starts fucking you. after putting on the condom, it takes a while for him to fit himself but he bottoms out after deep breaths with you, and when he starts moving you’re just a mess. whining and panting as your body shakes and gojo is already planning to make you cum even more just to see your sensitive body react to him.

but he’s nice about it and he thinks the teasing can be brought down a notch just to make sure you have a good first time with him; you’re just too cute not to tease, though.

“first time and i already know your sweet spots, huh?” gojo smirks, holding both your legs and placing them on his shoulder, loving how you protest in embarrassment. it’s true, he’s hitting all the right spots, hips ramming into you with proper thrusts that’s all different from your previous endeavours, and makes sure to give attention to your clit, too, locking eyes with you before he gathers a ball of saliva and spits onto it.

you gasp at the feeling and the sight of it, clenching around him and he laughs. “oh, you liked that? filthy slut.”

he’s so gross but your body shivers, already having mini orgasms from the overwhelming sensations but you’re still unconsciously conscious of the way you appear to gojo — it’s obvious he’s had many partners and you didn’t want to disappoint, but you’ve also had your fair share of disappointing partners who didn’t particularly like your sensitivity. from wanting breaks to your body convulsing, it felt like too much for them to handle.

until today, you guess, because gojo’s leaning forward to cage you in his arms while there's a resounding pap! pap! pap! that sounds across the office, pussy being pounded relentlessly as he holds you and encourages your moans.

“c’mon, baby, give it t’me,” he mumbles, hand cradling your face while the other holds his body up, “don’t hold yourself back.”

that sends a chill down your spine, so he notices, trusting him enough to wrap your legs around his waist and pull him even deeper into your tight cunt. he groans at that, going in for a sensual kiss while his thighs and glutes start to burn; but for a first time, he’s already addicted to your pussy, chasing that high in pathetic little ruts while he whines into your mouth.

“c’mon baby, c’mon baby, fuuuck . .” it’s the expression you give him: so raw and filled with pleasure while your body responds so sweetly to him that he spills into the condom first, holding you closer if it was even possible to. gojo mumbles incoherent sentences into your skin, a little annoyed he had came first because it was always you, you, you first and you deserved ecstasy before him, always, but he fights through the overstimulation.

your eyes flutter open and close at every opportunity, not even noticing he’s pulled away from you just to watch you unravel as he angles his hips. he gives extra attention to your clit and twines his fingers between yours, keeping blurry eye contact.

“let go for me, baby,” he murmurs into your connected hands, kissing it, “cum all over me, i got you.”

and you’re cumming, albeit a little restrained from all your previous experiences but you listen to him — jaw slacking from the sheer pleasure and your body shaking so much that it sends tremors through the table. your moans reach the ceiling while your back arches off of it and gojo wishes he had his phone to record everything. right now, memory is enough.

“satoru, it’s so—!” eyes closed tight, he’s moaning with you at your sensitivity, massaging your calves as you continue to ride out your orgasm and letting you reach a calm state. before you know it, you’re trembling again when he pulls out of you and disposes of the condom but instead of an annoyed expression you’re faced with his shit-eating grin that you both love and hate.

“w-what . .”

he tugs you up from your twined hands, placing a gentle kiss that you also jolt from, confused at the smile that you feel through his kiss.

“need to see that again,” gojo moans softly as he kneads your legs in comfort. one hand reaches to take his phone, “wanna see that again, baby— the way your body moves,” and again, you’re scared of the verdict until you see the camera app opened on the screen.

“it’s so fucking stunnin’. you’re so fucking stunnin’.”

✶ GETO

“we’re gonna get kicked out,” you protest and yet you let resident assistant and your boyfriend geto suguru kiss all around your face and chest as he hurriedly removes your clothes and you softly moan at the feeling of his hands on your tits. even if it was the holidays and it was his dorm room that you were messing around in (he insisted, said he didn’t want you to shoulder the shame if people were to hear you), you were still worried about the neighbouring rooms.

“i checked, they’re not in, baby,” your jaw drops at that and then it drops even more when his mouth engulfs your nipple in your mouth, swirling his tongue around your bud.

“you didn’t . .”

“yeah, no, i didn’t,” he laughs when your expression crosses between incredulous and pleasure, humming into your chest when your hands pull apart his bunned-up hair, “but i know them . . they’re the type to go home during the christmas season.”

“well— that’s—! that’s even worse that you know them,” it’s like you didn’t hear the second part of what geto said, “now these acquaintances— they’re gonna hear you have sex,” you shout and you realise your voice has reached a volume higher than intended and you slap your palm against your mouth and you wince again at the loud noise it makes.

he just laughs in typical geto fashion, because he’s always calm and collected towards any problem that arises against him just like this one, except that it was far from a problem because he definitely knew that they were gone from the time all three of them (the ones closest to his door, at least) had knocked to say goodbye until the new school year.

he wasn’t sure about the ones on the same floor, further from him though.

“hey,” he removes your hands, interlocking his fingers with yours before giving you a soft kiss, “i’m confident they’ve went back home, i promise.” and when geto promises things to you, you fall prey to it every time. like how he reassures you that finals are going to go well, like how your submission for your essay will definitely get you an A+, or like how he makes sure he’ll get the important groceries for your room.

“. . okay then,” you mumble, running a hand through his hair to smoothen it out and he leans into your touch, before you bring him to your lips while you climb him, a tangle of sloppy kisses and hands going everywhere until you don’t know yourself any more.

it descends into insanity soon enough, going from dry humping into you slapping his tip on your tongue. and right down to cumming on geto’s tongue for god knows how many times before you’re held up by your arms while your boyfriend pounds into you from behind. if not for the help of suguru’s arms, you’re sure your body would fall forward from how limp you’ve gone.

“sugu— s-shit—” you’re moaning out more to yourself than him, still afraid that you’d be heard but the dick is so good that it has you losing yourself bit by bit and the both of you know that.

“arch your back f’r me, princess,” he pants out, hands travelling up from your nape to your lower back just to press on your arch, leaning back to admire your pretty cunt from behind. the sheets are already a little soaked from under the towel he’s placed out, and if it wasn’t for your pussy, his organised mind would already have a reminder of how he should bring new sheets to his dorm.

but the snug hugging of your walls along his length always causes a proper, well-behaved student like geto suguru to unravel like thread to his rawest self, acting like he’s deprived of sex; akin to an animal is exactly how he’s slamming into you while you relish in the spread of your cunt.

no matter how many times the two of you fuck, you’re always amazed at the uncomfortable stretch and how you manage to take him every time — he knows this too — “takin’ me so damn well, f-fuck,” mumbling right into your neck when he brings you up.

you whimper at the praise, sentences leaving your mouth with no coherence. with his one hand able to wrap perfectly around your neck, the other goes all the way down to your clit, drawing circles that match his pace. it only fogs your mind even more alongside his cock that reaches deep in you.

now with arms released you take the opportunity to blindly reach for your lover, sighing when you feel him react to your touch. every touch he leaves on you is fire, and with each minute that passes you only become more and more sensitive, evident in how your body jerks in his hold.

“shaking s’much,” geto giggles, pulling you flush against his front just to feel your body shudder by his doing, “sometimes i forget how sensitive you are—”

you whine at the teasing words, almost sounding like you’re pouting at it from how you drag your words out, “it’s ’cause you’re always so busy . .”

“i know, baby,” he’s caging you in his embrace as his hips continue to rail into yours, “and ’m sorry f’r that.”

you only hum at his apology, hand clasped tight on his sweaty nape while your body bends in ways you never thought possible. just like his fingers, you can feel his weeping tip kiss your cervix and those few thrusts alone sends you shaking in his hold.

“s-suguru . . wan’ to sit in your lap,” you’re mumbling, closing a hand around the one that’s grasping your neck gently, “tired— just w’nna—” you’re choking on words and teeth almost drawing blood by how hard you were biting into it.

and like always, geto succumbs to your pleas as he wraps secure arm after secure arm around you. he easily manoeuvres himself on his butt and hauls you until you’re turned towards him and leaning against him before he’s slipping into you again.

“show me how those hips work, baby,” he murmurs drunkenly with onyx eyes focused on your cunt. how your hips grind in circular motions and how each time you bottom out, there’s the delicious, familiar squelch of your pussy, “fuck me, amie, there’s no better sight than you on me.”

that, you let out a laugh when in the blur of your mind, you recall that your boyfriend is currently studying old french — he’s been calling you amie more and more, and the endless praise only has your hands pressing deeper into his torso while you bounce on his lap.

suguru looks at you like you were carved by goddesses, watching you intently with a close eye while your body continues to move atop him. your hands feel prickly, sharp along his abs that tense and flex under your touch, hands planted tenderly along your ass and hips that try to help you — he’s just too enamoured with your pretty curves to properly help you, though, only spurring him and his hips on to meet yours halfway.

your hand closes around the other’s wrist, guiding his hand to your needy clit, mimicking how you’d touch yourself when you’re alone and bothered. he takes over easy enough, thumb pressing and pushing your bundle of nerves just how you like it, neck all exposed when you tilt your head back to moan.

“not so shy now, hm? is she close?” your hips pick up the pace at his question, desperate for release when your deliverer was geto himself as you’re prying the hands from your neck and putting his fingers in your mouth; all the while, he’s still rubbing your clit with him rutting into you for his high too. you suck and twirl your tongue around his digits, soaking them with your saliva as he watches you with hooded lids.

“y-yeah . .” you mumble into his hands, holding it so tightly while his cock continues to impale you, “s’full, sugu—”

“i-is it now?” suguru speaks through thrusts, hands leaving your warm mouth to cradle your face, taking his time with the bottom of your face: squeezing your jaw, thumbing your bottom lip, “wanna feel you cream my cock, amie.”

you mewl at that, full on bouncing now with renewed strength on his sensitive cock and moaning without a care in the world, the wet squelching of your pussy definitely telling the other neighbours just what the two of you were doing but it’s hard to give a shit when your walls wrap tight around his dick and you see heaven every time he hits your sweet spot and before you know it, you’re cumming right on his cock, coating his shaft with your juices.

“cumming‚ ’m cumming, suguru—” your thighs burn like hell but the sensations are just so damn good, back arching all the way while your eyes roll back into your skull and you hold onto his thighs. your thighs are pulled taut, whole body convulsing around him while he watches in awe at your sensitive nature, a primal need overtaking him and he’s trapping you with both arms and ramming up into you that you let out a drawn out moan.

“su— too much, s-sensitive—”

“oh, i know,” he grunts and hides in the safety of your neck, arousal spraying everywhere and your needy moans was all geto needed to spill with a loud cry of your name paired with the continual rough thrusts up into your pussy, “oh— shit, shit, shiiit . . gonna fill you up nice and full—!”

geto does just that, cock spilling all of his hot cum into your waiting womb while you let him hold you through all of it — still shivering body and all. and finally when you both come down (or well, just him), he’s grabbing your ass and laughs in surprise when you jerk with a small moan. downtime for you took longer; he’s content to just stay there and let you cockwarm him.

“my sensitive darling,” he leaves kisses along your clavicle right up to the stretch of your jaw and revels in how you shiver and your breath quickens, “you’re so cute that i just wanna make you cum over and over all over me.”

✶ NANAMI

nanami kento would let you step over him, any time. the way you teach the students, the way you stand up to the higher-ups together with gojo so well that he’s a little jealous, the way you’re always greeting him with a big smile the moment he comes home — it’s obvious from the way his eyes light up just a little from the tiring job of being a sorcerer.

today you’re looking a little sexier than usual but at the same time, it’s just you in your apron while you’re removing the suit jacket from him. you can’t even remember the last time you first stepped foot in his apartment, a little intoxicated from the drinking outing you had with shoko, gojo and him. it was clear only the three of you were good drinkers. with shoko hauling gojo’s drunk ass back to the school (and later successfully getting him to teleport them both), nanami takes the chance to invite you back to his place for more drinks.

wine, specifically, but not before a few glasses of water.

you do remember when you moved in, though, happy at the prospect of finally living with your lovely boyfriend who insisted that you don’t need to cook when you don’t feel like it. but you liked to defy him sometimes, just like today.

“hey, sweetheart,” you perk up, eyes fixated on the way he pulls his tie loose and removes it, throwing it onto the sofa. it’s unlike him, but being with you made him less particular about routine when you already take so much of stress away.

wordlessly, you’re yelping as he takes you into his embrace with both arms and feeling the feel of his lips on yours in an instant. he’s worked up, you know, but you can’t help but feel your pussy throb at nanami using you as an outlet to release his anger.

“hi, honey, just— sorry,” he mumbles in apology, forehead resting against yours at the roughness he displays, “rough mission today.”

your hands feel like salvation when you caress his cheeks, going onto your tiptoes to give him a much gentler kiss, “don’t apologise, kento. come, i made dinner.”

he feels so bad for saying the things he wants to say next, not wanting to see your disappointed expression or defeated frown, but, “can i have dessert first?”

he cringes because it’s so obvious gojo made him say that, but he did find your surprised face absolutely adorable. “oh! i . . didn’t make dessert . .” it sits for a while until you realise what your boyfriend was really referring to and your cheeks heat up. stifling a giggle, your head collides with his chest while he just sighs.

“did gojo tell you to say that—”

he cuts you off before you even finish the question, “yes,” and you’re laughing so much that it gets the ever stoic nanami to chuckle to, but he does mean it as cheesy as the line was. “so?”

nanami doesn’t like to play with his food, but he just can’t resist when he’s buried in your cunt near the front door of all places. his penthouse may not be as luxurious as gojo’s, but it still boasts its richness in furniture and decoration, like the full length windows and glass tables that you’re so desperately trying not to shatter. with one hand planted onto the table and the other in the blonde locks of your lover, your moans echo for everyone to hear.

“missed this pussy for the whole. damn. day,” he groans into your cunt, stress from the work day seeping through in how sloppily he eats your pussy, tongue flicking your clit while his hand holds your leg up. the other is busy kneading your tits and playing with your nipples, goggles pushed up to his forehead while strands of his hair stick out from under it. it’s such a new look on him as you look down on him, the bottom half of his face all soaked with your juices.

“like it when i use you like this?” he mumbles into your clit, hazel eyes making contact with yours from below and you swear if it wasn’t for your strong grip on the table and his hair you were sure to collapse, “like it when i eat you out for everyone to see?”

you’re nodding frantically, hole clenching and heart picking up the pace at this different side of nanami, a scowl etched onto his face from whatever happened at work and you wished he’d come home stressed more often. sagging against the wall, your hips only push forward to get a taste of his tongue again, jerking in response when he starts slapping your pussy.

it’s loud and wet, emphasising just how much you were dripping onto the floor and onto his hands. his slaps aren’t light. oh, no, they were hard-hitting ones, stimulating your clit so well that you can already feel your knee buckling.

“please, k-kento, need your mouth—” you whine, bucking your hips into him that all he does is chuckle a little, finally letting your leg down for a little rest until he’s taking your other and propping it onto the glass table. he knows how sensitive you can get, and he’s still doing this?

“your table, babe—”

he waves a hand, rising from his stance on the floor momentarily to give you a kiss, “i can always buy another. but this,” and you wish you could document how with each kiss nanami lays on your body, he’s lowering himself back to his knees and his large hands on your heaving stomach makes you dizzy.

“this, you, i can’t replace, and i’d love to see my girl tremblin’ when she cums—” he pushes a thumb into your clit and you shudder, hands opening to give your pussy another spank, “again.” another slap and you cry out, “again.” one last spank and he smiles softly at your toes already curling around the edge of the glass table, “and again.”

you don’t catch your breath before nanami goes right back into abusing your clit with his tongue, sucking hard on it and then flicking his tongue non-stop against it, and he switches between both that you don’t even know what he’s doing any more. you’re only focused on trying not to fall over, but it’s proving hard from the way you push his head deeper into your cunt and how your hips hump his face.

through your semi-closed lids, you see him palming his bulge and that only heightens your sensitivity, sight infiltrated by his own eyes staring up at you. his hand only moves faster, making quick work to remove his trousers and he sighs into your sopping pussy at the relief he feels. soon, the filthy noises of nanami eating you out can be heard with the slick noises of his palm against his length, pumping his cock to your pleasure.

“mmhm— that’s it, grind against my face,” your boyfriend groans into your cunt, already knowing you’re close from the way you start to strengthen your grasp on his hair that it hurts just a bit, but he doesn’t mind a bit of pain, “cum for me, sweetheart, cum on my tongue.”

“o-oh shiit, kento—!”you let out the loudest moan at that before you’re trembling all over that your foot falls from the glass table and nanami’s quick reflexes help to support your obvious shaking knees. you gush all over his face while you slump forward and again, nanami only smoothly falls onto his back just for you to slam both hands onto the floor for a proper anchor, unaware of your predicament as you continue to grind your soaking core into his face, body convulsing from above him. his tongue never stops, sucking on your clit harshly before he opens his eyes and he’s just drunk on you, your cum, everything that he has to curl his larger forearms around your thighs and pull you to his face.

“oh, fucking god,” your thighs continue to shake around his face, cumming so much that it falls onto the floor and stains his blue shirt and it takes a while for you to come down with nanami helping you; hands massaging your ass, lips along your inner thighs.

“fuck— how we’d end up on the floor?”

this time, nanami truly lets out a laugh, a hand coming around from the back to hold your chin, “you fell on me.”

“oh . .” you mumble, eyes scrunching in a flustered state while you just groan into your hands, “i am . . so sorry.”

“don’t be,” signalling that he wants to sit up, you scooch down his body and scream into your palms. he’s amused, to say the least, pulling away your hands to give you a genuine, lovesick smile before he uses the back of his palm and wipes away your cum on his face. with a slow lick and intense eyes, you watch as he licks it up, “want you to see you like this again, my love. s’sensitive, shivering and all.”

nanami pulls your chin towards him, “and i’ll make sure to take care of you each time.”

✶ TOJI

“t-toji—” your words are soft with toji’s palm upon your mouth, stuck in a predicament such as this — in your backyard pool that your rich dad can definitely afford alongside his best friend who’s in the same department as him. except he was actually taking care of you, bringing you to places to shop and eat, letting you have a shoulder to cry on. but it’s long before the two of you know that it’s something more ever since you’ve graduated university and were looking for a job.

you had grown into your features from when he first saw you at the start of uni at twenty-three, looking a little more shy than now as you await your first day of a life-changing education. he’s struck by your attractiveness, sure, but he’s more than confident that your father would burn and roast him on a grill for talking about his daughter in that way; a daughter he didn’t deserve, really.

it was messy, your relationship — from two complicated ex-wives to a third stepmother that you were a little tired of opening up to each time; it was clear that you already couldn’t connect that well to your parents. your father was too busy most of the time and that caused a lot of fights, and while this third wife is a little more understanding, it still hurts to see the man you marry lose himself in his work and you’re sure this woman would be on her merry way very soon.

toji came in around when your father had remarried the first time, introducing the two of you over a cup of coffee while you had to meet the second wife as well. awkward as it was, toji’s upfront and blunt disposition helped lighten the mood a bit, sometimes leaning in to whisper at how she probably has a stick up her ass and maybe she only married him for the money.

and toji tried to stick to his job, but the thought of you simply couldn’t leave his mind, visiting your home with every chance he could get. drinking nights, streaming soccer matches, barbeque parties, he was there, sometimes catching and sometimes missing you when you had stayed over at the dorms, but nevertheless, he made the effort.

you both got too tangled up, though, because after all that you find yourself palming your dad’s best friend who’s probably ten years older than you as he tries to sun tan, but all he can think about is your hand on his swimming trunks. you two aren’t even sure what led to this; from talking about the possible jobs you could get into with your degree to your father and his third wife, you had probably let it slip that you always found him hot — or, he would’ve muttered under his breath about how he can take care of you a hundred times better than your father could.

not that you needed anyone, already a full grown adult but his heart can’t help but jump at the prospect of coming home to you and giving you the love you deserved from a proper man.

you both panic when you think you hear the front door opening, jumping into the pool to cool your nerves but toji dives in, too, and now you’re frozen in place, ass propped up against his hard dick while you nonchalantly lie on the pool edge. the older man only scratches his neck and looks disinterested when your father asks why the hell the both of you are taking a random swim on a sunday afternoon.

“summer heat, daddy! it’s a little hot these days,” you lather on the act way too much but your dad doesn’t seem to know what’s going on. you do feel toji’s grasp tighten on your waist though, you wonder if it’s because of the word daddy.

“you’re not wrong,” he fans his shirt which is already stuck to his body; of course he’s in a suit on a sunday and it only means one thing, he’s going to the office to finish some extra work, “well, i’m—”

“—going to the office, yeah i know,” you mumble, sighing and your father at least looks a little guilty, “have a good day, daddy.”

“she’s right, y’know,” toji calls from behind you, hands slipping past your swimming suit and right to your cunt under the water, but what your father didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, “spend more time with us next time.”

the other only nods, offering a simple salute before he stalks off but neither of you move until you hear for sure that his car is out of the driveway before you continue grinding against him and let out a soft sigh.

“you know he only means well by working hard, doll,” toji frowns, using the water to get closer to you and he’s instantly drunk from your size difference, “he likes his work — in a world where most people don’t like what they do, it’s sort of a blessing, already.”

you mumble, turning around and keeping yourself afloat, unsure where to put your hands until toji personally takes them and places them on his toned, wet chest. you gasp inwardly at the muscle there and you’re truly realising now that you’re standing (or floating) before your father’s best friend.

“i know i just—”

“need your daddy?” he teases, ducking down to draw out eye contact when you avoid his striking green eyes. you nod, “but he’s already here.”

you roll your eyes with a smile, pushing at his shoulders but he doesn’t budge one bit, humming when you try to get closer by wrapping your arms around his neck. he lets you, also easily catching your legs that wrap around his waist. the water allows that, pinning you against the wall of the pool while he undresses you with his eyes alone. toji doesn’t even need to try and you’re already putty in his hands just like four years ago.

“take care of me, toji, please,” the last bits of your plea comes out as a whisper, desperation and lust mingling together. you tenderly play with the hair at the back of his head that’s growing long and he lets you. he lets you because he’s been waiting all this time, “i want you to fuck me until i forget about all this.”

toji closes his eyes at your request, “be careful what you wish for, baby,” and he’s right because he’s got you crying out for his help as you try to fit him in you while he just coos. need my help? and you’re nodding, sensitive from the many times he’s made you cum in order to prep you for his cock. it’s huge, the first time he fishes it out of his trunks and you think that you might wanna wait for next time until he’s stroking himself and groaning in that deep voice of his.

“relax for me, sweetheart,” he mumbles, fingers rubbing lightly at your clit to get you to relax, but his hulking figure from above you is intimidating to the maximum as he inches into you on your living room couch. it’s the most risky the two of you have been, and it’s rewarded well when the high ceilings of your place echoes your joint moans.

“t-toji—” you whimper, knuckles probably white from how tense you were grabbing on his forearms. the stretch from his tip is already painful that you can only hope you’ll be able to take all of him — toji is slow — he tells you to breathe, he massages your thighs as if it’ll do anything, but your cunt is still tight after all and the way he spreads you open just sends chills right down to his dick.

“you got it, doll, just a bit more—” he coaxes you and he wants to do away with the rubber altogether, but he’d wait for you. he’s rubbing the legs that were propped on his shoulders, eyes boring into yours. “take that cock like a good girl.”

once he bottoms out, though, your jaw falls slack at the deepness, pussy stretched to accommodate him while the cover cushions get wetter than the minute from your chlorine-filled bodies. none of you care when the house starts smelling like it, too concentrated on how toji spits once and pulls out halfway — you whine endlessly — and pumps his cock and the second time, it’s rubbed into your clit.

“how does that feel?” he grunts, meeting your eyes and then down to your connected bodies where it still hurts a little.

“stings . .” you mumble, but on top of that, you’re noticing how your body twitches at every single thing toji does. it’s never been like that with other partners, it could have just been forever since you’ve actually received dick and it also could be your developing feelings for the older man, but you’re not one to jump to conclusions right away.

“it’ll go away soon,” he kisses each ankle softly, and onny when he gets the green light from you, he’s rocking into you, body hovering over you with the same hulking figure you remember years ago. the same scar upon the left of his lips, the jet black hair, the confident smirk — it only makes your heart (and pussy) clench up.

“oh?” he grins, “i felt that.”

your mouth twists in displeasure that you can be read like an open book so blatantly in the eyes of your father’s best friend, but you forget about it soon enough when he pushes his body deeper into you, and in turn, your legs are right up to your chest.

“t-toji . .” you’re also wishing the condom wouldn’t be in the equation, but it was the first time both of you had any courage. your nails dig into the skin of his forearm, grasping and scrambling for him to get closer. “it’s t-too— big.” you’re crying slightly, eyes glossy from the mix of pleasure and pain that envelopes you.

toji, while still worried about you, can’t help but let his ego shoot up at that, but he’s already wiping your tears away with his thumbs.

“you can take it, yeah?” he encourages, hot breath just fanning over your lips, “can’t you take daddy’s cock?”

you hum, doe eyed and mouth parted and toji wants to keep this memory locked away forever. the familiar surroundings of all the nights spent here, and now he’s fucking you just like he wants to.

“y-yeah— yes, daddy,” you pull at his nape, indulging you in a deep kiss that’s got you moaning into his mouth. you’re relaxing more, now, allowing him to move — but toji’s thrusts are anything but gentle when he starts and you need to break from the kiss to whine loudly.

“tojiii—!” he simply hums, guiding your legs around his waist while the house starts to echo with noises of skin slapping. a hand slips between your legs to rub at your clit and your back arches off the sofa, giving easy access to your tits on display.

bikini pulled down, toji latches his mouth onto nipple while he slams into you, intoxicated on your hypnotising pussy. his grip is so strong that you don’t even notice your sensitive body, hand smoothly sliding under your pretty arched back, pulling you up.

“w-wha . .”

“can’t i look at my pretty slut while i fuck her senseless?” he says it so casually, like you’re some hooker he paid to have fun with, but you’re not even coherent enough to form sentences, let alone think about what the two of you are. “it’s only natural when she looks so fucked out, don’t ya think?”

his thrusts slow down, much to your dismay, but now he’s grinding his pelvis into your pliant pussy while he puts your legs back onto his shoulder. toji hits all your sweet spots, naturally, and he continues his ministrations on your clit roughly, driving you to the brink of your threshold and bringing you back in.

“look at how i fit in you,” there’s a certain awe in his voice when he looks down and you follow his cock that moves in and out, in and out, gathering your slickness all along his shaft that it drips down to your ass and stains the sofa covers — at least it was white. “can’t believe you’ve kept this pussy from me for so long.”

you whimper, hips moving on its own accord to meet his devastatingly slow thrusts as you speak, “it was always there, just— i didn’t think you’d have any interest in me—”

and toji only groans at that discovery (“you were my best friend’s daughter, of course i wasn’t gonna make a move until i knew you were okay with it.”), pelvis picking up the pace to show you just how much and often he’s been thinking of you throughout these four years. the soft, tame pants that leave your mouth are no more as he snaps his hips into you roughly. his stamina is like no other and you try your best to catch up but at this point you’re just being manhandled.

chants of daddy, daddy, daddy are all that’s left on your lips, head thrown back even when he picks you up like you weigh nothing and readjusts the both of you along the long side of the sofa. he at leasts can relish in the cushion of the couch while he watches you squirm from his fat cock, hands grabbing at air for his presence.

“w’nna . . i wanna cum, toji . .” you mumble when he’s close to you again, memorising how his black hair feels against your face while he litters kisses along your neck and jaw, of how the dip of his skin feels under your thumb as you brush against the left side of his mouth, because you’re not sure you’ll get another opportunity like this. “feels s’good—”

“yeah?” he mumbles, full on pounding into you while holding your legs open for him. he’s close to climax too, dick twitching and pulsing in you and you swear you can feel every ridge and vein of his length. “’m close too, doll.”

the obscene squelching noises of your wet pussy reverberates throughout the living room, and together with his needy groans and your high-pitched whines, you’re driven over the edge with a sharp cry from your lips. his hand is the culprit, haphazardly rubbing messy circles into your puffy clit and continuing even past your orgasm. toji’s jaw drops when he watches your body convulse under him from the overstimulation, back arching so far up and your legs that shake uncontrollably.

“attagirl, that’s it,” he chuckles at your sensitivity but his chest beams with pride knowing he’s seen you like this, holding your legs down easily while his hips never stop, but he’s close from the way his stomach tightens and your pussy seems tighter than usual. “hang in there—”

toji swears lowly under his breath, but before he can even bark out a warning to you, he’s cumming into the condom, body hunched all over your own as his hips still. the gruff groans only turn you right back on, faintly feeling the sensation of toji filling up the rubber and you wish it was all in your pussy.

“f-fuuuck . . fucking god—!” toji’s chest heaves from the intense orgasm, one that he’s never felt so vividly before until you. with one last kiss to your waiting lips, he mutters praise to you, loving how he can feel your cheeks warm. it’s then that your bodies have no more space in between, cock still buried in you while he only holds you from above, body weight just a little heavy for you.

“i’ll need to feel those thighs trembling around my ears next time,” toji jokes, relieving you of his heavier mass and laughs out loud at your confused look.

“that’s such a weird way to ask me to sit on your face . .” you giggle, letting him flip the two of you over before your words are cut off again by an intrusive whimper. your clit’s still sensitive, and the slightest brush against his pelvis can sends shudders down your spine all over again. toji loves it.

“will you grant me the pleasure of experiencing it now?” and before he can even mumble another smart comment, you’re settling right on his face and he looks almost ready to die under your pussy. all he mumbles is how pretty your pussy looks from this angle, before making you regret ever teasing him, mouth working wonders until you’re exhausted and toji’s had his fill.

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budapestalloveragain · 4 years

Text

eliava @eightiesau tagged me in this !! thank u hehe ily lots n lots <333

rules: bold everything that applies to you & tag 10 people you’d like to get to know better.

APPEARANCE

I’m over 5′5″. I wear glasses/contacts. I have blonde hair. I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing. I have one or more piercings. I have at least one tattoo. I have blue/green eyes. I have dyed or highlighted my hair. I have gotten plastic surgery. I have or had braces. I sunburn easily. I have freckles. I paint my nails. I typically wear makeup. I don’t often smile. I am pleased with how I look. I prefer Nike to Adidas. I wear baseball hats backwards.

HOBBIES AND TALENTS

I play a sport. I can play an instrument. I am artistic. I know more than one language. I have won a trophy in some sort of competition. I can cook or bake without a recipe. I know how to swim. I enjoy writing. I can do origami. I prefer movies to tv shows. I can execute a perfect somersault. I enjoy singing. I could survive in the wild on my own. I have read a new book series this year. I enjoy spending time with friends. I travel during school or work breaks. I can do a handstand.

RELATIONSHIPS

I am in a relationship. I have been single for over a year. I have a crush. I have a best friend I have known for ten years. My parents are together. I have dated my best friend. I am adopted. My crush has confessed to me. I have a long distance relationship. I am an only child. I give advice to my friends. I have made an online friend. I met up with someone I have met online.

AESTHETICS

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell. I have watched the sunrise. I enjoy rainy days. I have slept under the stars. I meditate outside. The sound of chirping calms me. I enjoy the smell of the beach. I know what snow tastes like. I listen to music to fall asleep. I enjoy thunderstorms. I enjoy cloud watching. I have attended a bonfire. I pay close attention to colors. I find mystery in the ocean. I enjoy hiking on nature paths. Autumn is my favorite season.

MISCELLANEOUS

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle. I am the mom friend. I live by a certain quote. I like the smell of sharpies. I am involved in extracurricular activities. I enjoy Mexican food. I can drive a stick-shift. I believe in true love. I make up scenarios to fall asleep. I sing in the shower. I wish I lived in a video game. I have a canopy above my bed. I am multiracial. I am a redhead. I own at least three dogs.

tagging: @yellowhalcyon @mochalou @jsuh @ohdiogenes @sunflowervolume69 but no pressure ofc + as always feel free to do it even if i didn’t tag u <333

#my tags #a lot of the hobbies & talents category is questionable lmao #like i played piano for 4 years i can still kinda do it but not super well #i 'know' more than one language l m a o #i 'play' ultimate and like i dance #i can make like eggs n shit lmao i def wouldn't bake without a recipe though #was supposed to see alexis legit in 2 weeks :))) it's fine #but i met tess !! @slfl hehe #and technically cons lmao we're from the same town but like we actually started talking on here which is weird #oh i dont always wear nail polish either i just like to paint them clear when im bored lol #and i do color sometimes too just they're not aLWAYS painted yanno #'i can do origami' like yeah i can follow instructions and i can fold a hat and a boat lmao #used to know crane but alas no longer #if i had money i'd travel lol #i guess i do but it's not like... a thing i Always do bc i am; broke #lmk if ur curious abt anythingggg i think its mostly p self explanatory though haha #unrelated but wow good thing by kehlani slaps #im sure im late to this but i love it #i saw it on tiktok lol

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delicrieux · 3 years

Text

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”.

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing. word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie: y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!”

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

queen rly went from 🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing.

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.”

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall.

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets.

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout.

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

#corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse #corpse x reader #corpse husband x y/n #corpse x y/n #myso #make you say oh #imagine #imagines

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theyarebothgunshot · 3 years

Note

this is exactly how it went down in my head.

misha: hey, everything okay? do you need me to do something?

jensen: no, lay low. we’re figuring it out.

misha: got it.

— the next day —

misha: things settled. should i say anything? draw attention? stay neutral?

jensen: you don’t have to, but if you want, tread lightly. we’ve had enough chaos.

misha: say no more.

when nobody got your back you KNOW dmitri got your back.

ANYWAYS i turned my back for TWO MINUTES and y'all went the fuck off in my inbox so, you know the drill: more under the cut

NO BUT JENSEN’S RESPONSE LMAAAAAO honestly fallout theory is so on oh my God I can’t stop-

on god they are so loud like-

Worst damage control i've ever seen. god bles.

so true bestie

I think Jensen probably just wants to be done with this petty little drama, so if he has to pretend everything between them is okay he is going to be the bigger man and lay it to rest. Whatever is going on between them he definitely doesn't want to sort that out on social media and the earlier he pretends everything is sorted out the earlier people will forget about it again.

Also it's kinda funny how J*red Tweet was like implying they had a misunderstanding but still talk to each other regularly, while Jensen went full on the we grow apart a little bit, because we were busy, let's catch back up. Makes me wonder if they actually talked or if there managers just said hey that's not good pr, let's put that to rest. Also did J*red know before yesterday that they had a falling out or did he just not realize.

- 🐌 anon

literally jensen went out of his way to say 'uhhh we never talk, worstie' god if pr management is involved then they did a bad job. also j*red still does not realise they have fallen out. jshfjdsfh

Jackles was like God bless but we ain’t talking like this worstie

good for her.gif

csdsc heeft gevraagd:

All I need now is for Misha to tweet “ is it safe to come out now?” And I’ll be complete lmfao 😂😂😂

that would have been better than what we got lmfao

I have one fear and it's Jensen being forced to add j*red to his show and his other projects because he couldn't stop whining like a baby,,, ugh i hate him

i pretend i do not see

Kinda selfish of me tbh but i don't want them to be "friends" again, Jensen sweetie run as fast as you can

co-signed

Ok Jensen's answer to Jared tweet made me feel so bad for him. Like, I can see it's damage control and public relations (obviously) but there's stuff behind it. I can't name it, but idk, I felt terrible for texas man this time, I don't think that reply was written with a "love and light energy" or even without much care. I felt some heavy vibes.

- 🌻, who is now a fortune teller and a prophet apparently

yeah i feel hella bad for him to, for having to deal with this shit. nonnie please if you ever have anything to predict, lemme know sjdfhs

You know Jensen's tweet has the energy of like kindergarten wenn an other kid started a fight with you and the kindergarten teacher wants you to forgive each other and hung it out and you really don't want to, but your kindergarten teacher is being annoying and he isn't worth the annoyance either.

- 🐌 anon

you are not wrong

Incredibly thankful that I have the day off from work 😂 I'm with hatching chick anon, the 3 dots read as passive aggressive/insincere to me, and I love it! I haven't spent this many hours on tumblr since I first discovered cockles! (On a side note, the lack of fimmf posts today has me feeling like it's not friday lol) -🐢

i, too, miss fimmf but alas things happen, they do they do they do

I was right. :(

It got almost romantic...

👀

nonnie you know i love you but this is really not the case, like, at all??? idk how you could look at those tweets and think it was almost romantic. it was THEE most scripted, pr bullshit ever. it was staged and fake. idk what else to tell ya

Danneel liked Jensen's tweet

i saw

That is so so awkward I feel so sorry for all of us being exposed to this and so happy I chose to leave the Internet for half a day - tea anon

god bless your stance on that cause i would have hated missing out on this lmao

You know what? I think it’s okay being a 38 year old moron if you’re bringing us this type of content

im happy with the food but still think its not okay tbh

pspspsps Misha this is the perfect day for you to drop the gay Cas essay pspspspsp it is still pride month pspspsps

you know you want to king pspsps

So that JIB6 link (I think it was from your post, right?). I went and watched that bit, and a little more.

Jensen makes a comment about Jared being first on the call sheet because Sam was supposed to be the main focal character.

And that him nor Misha cared about what number they were, so in all that time it never changed.

And I’ll be… if that just doesn’t perfectly sum them up and their feelings on things. And how a certain someone can be petty… 🦚

idk if it was from my post? but maybe? my analysis probably? but yeah things are making more and more sense huh

Ohh that's also an alien? Welcome to the extraterrestial family then, purple alien anon!

Also it's probably because I'm coming off the high this drama gave me but I'm not looking forward to them trying so hard to convince us everything is normal between them. Even though we now Know, they will have to keep pretending. Today (yesterday?) was a shitshow but some masks fell off, at least for a moment and I kinda wish Jensen was less professional 😂

👽

oh for real, fallout theory IS confirmed and nothing they said today will change my mind, it only made me believe in it even more lmfao and with that in mind i am just gonna sip my tea if they try to be buddy buddy on main again

I THINK MISHA UNRETWEETED BUT HE TWEETED "LOVE AND MISS YOU BOTH" I'M LOSING MY DIGNITY HERE - tea anon

yeah he now answered them sjdfhsjfhsf instead of rt

MISHA COLLINS IS A KING I STAN THE RIGHT MAN

YOU SURE DO

I just know Misha’s process was oh crap I have to let people know I’m supporting them and I can’t choose sides. Ok. Retweet. NO. Delete. I love both of you. Yes, good.

sjdfsdfh this makes me think of that post that dissected jackles' birthday post for misha where he used the heart. 'call him bro, that makes it less obvious. nailed it.'

Lol I'm off for a few days and come back to total chaos... God I missed it here

Like the "et tu... #bravo" tweet? Made my day! Frikking hilarious (every time I see it I picture J*red with a pissy frech accent saying it out loud lol) it's just such an incredibly petty hissy fit he threw (I know he tweeted more later on but... Really all that stuff coming afterwards just sounds like damage control)

Missed you Rose

-🐻

LOVE the french accent detail im gonna do this too sdjfhsjfh missed you toooo!!!!

Oh man Misha is really gonna get hate for that I KNOW IT

sigh well. nothing he isnt used to by now, unfortunately

i mean i believe they feel like brothers, but constantly falling back on the “brother” thing to keep up appearances is really starting to feel like “#spnfamily” at this point.

honestly brothers can be very annoying, or so i have heard, so it fits with the fallout theory lmao

They actually said if we’re gonna make this gay we cannot have Jar*d Pad*lecki involved

oh my God this is the funniest timeline to ever exist God bless I’m just waiting to canon bi Mary

king shit tbh

#snail anon #csdsc #sunflower anon #turtle anon #eyes anon #tea anon #peacock anon #alien anon #bear anon #THAT WAS A LOT #anyways next time im just gonna spam you all fsfsgdsgd

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