Draw your swords, pt. 10
Summary: Haunted by her own mind, Y/N isn’t sure what to do with the information she uncovered. On the other hand, the Darkling felt a growing distance between them, allowing himself to admit something he never thought he’d say.
Warnings: angst, swearing, fluff, sexual innuendos
Part one // Part two // Part three // Part four // Part five // Part six // Part seven // Part eight // Part nine
A long time ago lived a young boy with the power of saints. He held the darkness at the tip of his fingers, capable of forcing the day into an eternal night. Back then, he made all the wrong choices for all the right reasons. To protect the ones he loves, he allowed the shadows to consume him. Cursed with immortality, he walked the earth ever since. Forever alone, hurt and betrayed, the Darkling's heart no longer beat as it turned to stone. No longer did he suffer, no longer did he feel pain or anything at all.
There was no escape from emotions when he looked at her. Even in the darkness, she had the ability to set his world on fire.
A single badly made decision in a moment where everything feels more important than love can make your entire life feel like a failure. He would never make the same mistake again.
This lifetime he gives to her – wholeheartedly.
When they stopped for the night, he had felt uneasy as Y/N conversed freely with everyone but him. It seemed like she’s on edge and not knowing why gnawed at him. Once night came and they settled in their tent, the Darkling couldn’t contain himself.
"I sense some...hostility."
Scoffing, she rolled her eyes, "Oh, how observant of you."
"What happened?” He asked, “Did someone at the Palace do something to you? Was it Genya?"
"And what if she did?” Tilting her head ever so slightly, she neared him. “What would you do?"
Without thinking, he answered, "I'd protect you."
Inhaling sharply, she raised an eyebrow. "And what if it was you?"
Pausing, his eyebrows furrowed as he unclenched his jaw. "Is it me?"
"If it was you who upset me, would that bother you?" Y/N pushed further, genuinely wondering if he cares for her as much as she thinks. After all, who’d believe the Darkling has a heart? She was still trying to convince herself it’s real when he kisses her temple when he thinks she’s fast asleep.
With her hands on her hips, she narrowed her eyes at him. "So, how would you protect me from yourself?"
Letting out a heavy sigh, Aleksander ran his hand through his hair. "I'd let you decide."
Closing her eyes in frustration, her lower lip curled inwards as her front teeth sunk into the flesh. A part of her wanted to ask him about being the creator of the fold, but it was an advantage that would be unwise to let go of.
"Why are you being so agreeable? Is it because I spread my legs for you now?"
"I've never known you to be so crude." The muscles in his jaw tighten as he squints at her and it’s taking everything in her not to smile because she absolutely loved when he’d look at her like that. It felt more natural than the soft, wistful looks he’d send her way.
"And I never realized you could be so easily tamed”, she remarks, her voice louder than before.
Chuckling in disbelief, the Darkling shrugs off his kefta without breaking eye contact. "You believe that you've tamed me?"
Pinching the bridge of her nose, she shut her eyes. Her face is flushed, her head spinning and she has nothing concrete to tell him. She can’t make sense of anything anymore, the image of him in her head changing with every passing minute.
"I don't know what to believe anymore."
In two strides, Aleksander found himself before her. Cupping her cheeks, he tilts her head up to face him and when she opens her eyes, she’s lost in the universe that’s captured in his eyes. She loved the night sky littered with stars, but she never truly knew what it means to stargaze until she met him.
“I’ve discovered I love you.”
Raising her eyebrows, her jaw slacked. “When have you discovered that?” Her voice is high, tone defensive, but his smile grows because it wouldn’t be her if she didn’t fight him even when he’s trying to admit to something he long forgot exists.
“When all my decisions started to revolve around keeping you safe.”
Shaking, her eyes widened. “That’s impossible! You hate me!”
Placing a hand over her mouth, he used his other to press his index finger to his lips. “Shh”, he chuckles, “You’ll wake the others.”
Rolling her eyes, she licked his hand.
“Really? I’ve touched you in a way that made you scream long into the night”, he deadpans, “Your tongue can’t possibly disgust me.” Smirking, he leans in, “On the contrary.”
Slapping his hand away, she turned away from him. Grabbing her head, she sat down with her thoughts running so fast, too fast for her to pick one out to decide what she thinks, feels, wants.
Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her back flush against his chest. “I know you hate me now, but I’m a patient man. I won’t give up on you.”
He held her for a while, too long for either of them to realize the night had slowly trickled away from them and given way to dawn. Their journey wasn’t quite as long anymore. Soon enough, they’ll be at the fold and Y/N didn’t know what to do.
Should she tell him? Ask him for an explanation?
Would he kill her even if he said he loves her?
She still felt his kisses as he laid her down beside him. For the first time since they made love, they didn’t initiate any physical intimacy. Instead, they simply stared at one another.
She’s not for feeble minded people, there’s no doubt about it in his mind and if anything, Aleksander was more determined to love her because of it. She tested him in every way possible and while she was incredibly frustrating to argue with, Aleksander refused to give up on her. She’s difficult to understand to ordinary minds, but he isn’t ordinary.
His love will conquer in the end, he truly believed that. He could have continued on like nothing changed between them, but he could not be silent any longer. After all the time he’s spent in vein, all the years he wasted and lives he’s lived, Aleksander never found someone who gave him a reason to believe. Not until he met Y/N.
While she remained silent, stunned by his admission, he spoke of the day he first met Ivan and Fedyor. He spoke of their adventures, of their silly mistakes and she found herself smiling at first. Soon, she was laughing with him, and though she had no courage to admit it yet, she fell asleep thinking about him. Their knees were touching and her heart was racing, but the world never felt so right as it did when she was next to him.
Once on the road, she took the reins once again.
Kirigan ignored the whispers about her riding his horse, choosing to glare them into silence. No one dared to speak of it after.
Stopping a few miles short of their destination, Y/N drew a shuddered breath. The sight is hauntingly beautiful, a nightmare come alive. Swallowing thickly, a faint line formed between her eyebrows as they furrowed.
How could Aleksander be the Black Heretic? How is it possible for him to live so long?
“I’m here”, he whispers in her ear.
Goosebumps rise across the back of her neck as his warm breath dances across her skin. And there he is again, with her when she’s looking for solitude, offering his hand to hold and shoulder to lean on even when she least expects it. The worst thing is that she’s actually becoming dependent on his help and that scares her most of all, because what is she supposed to do when he decides he never did love her and all of it was simply an obsession fueled by her rejection.
She’s still a novelty to him, that will wear off eventually.
“I’m not afraid”, she remarks, “I’m-“, she pauses in an attempt to find a better word, “Admiring it.”
“Admiring”, he repeats in surprise. “Most people find it absolutely terrifying.”
She wondered if it frightened him. What would happen if he went in?
Turning her head to the side, she caught a glimpse of his parted lips. She felt ashamed how it caused her heartbeat to quicken, how it ached for a taste.
“I’m not most people”, she reminded him. And he knew that well. The Darkling would never fall for an ordinary woman.
“What I want to know is what went through his mind”, she grips the reigns tighter.
“Of the black heretic?”
Feeling his hands tighten around her waist, she nods. “I wish I knew what led to the creation of the fold. Why did he do it?”
“Maybe he just couldn’t help himself”, Aleksander’s voice is strained, “Maybe he’s just pure evil.”
Leaning the back of her head on his shoulder, she looked up at him. She longed for him, for an earnest conversation with their souls laid bare, but would she live long if she unveiled what her mind’s been tormented by?
“I don’t believe that”, she says softly.
Their eyes meet in an instant, the closeness forcing them both to hold their breath and look at each other silently. Looking at her, he touched her cheek gently with the back of his hand.
“Why give him the benefit of doubt?”
Aleksander’s free hand gently moves along her arm, finding its rightful place at the side of her neck, touching her skin so tenderly she felt blissful and it reminded her of that night where he unraveled her, made her scream in pleasure she never found before.
There was no denying it, Y/N had a weakness for his hand on her neck and his words in her heart, neither of which she had any willpower to refuse, especially not when she couldn’t breathe when he looked at her with such longing, shameful lust and indisputable passion and understanding.
It took everything in her to find the strength to speak again without her voice cracking under the pressure of her own emotions.
“Because darkness doesn’t equate evil, just as light doesn’t equate good.”
Without a warning, he kissed her fiercely, violently, leaving her raw. She didn’t move away, she didn’t make a sound. All she did was close her eyes and part her lips and in that fraction of a second, she allowed herself to get lost in the beauty of a lover’s touch for when his lips claimed hers, nothing mattered anymore.
When he broke away, she was breathless and undeniably his.
“What was that for?” She raised an eyebrow, a shadow of a smile forming on her bruised lips.
She shuddered, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip ruthlessly as Aleksander’s breath caressed her skin. It felt so right, too right to resist his advances. She lived for those long nights in their bed, those thick with lust and romance and naked kisses.
Aleksander shrugs, “I wanted to.”
Lips parted, she didn’t know what to do with that. He told her he loves her, that he’d wait for her to love him back and most women would fall at his feet. Something inside her refused to do so. To admit her feelings out loud would be the end of her.
If she allows herself to love him fully, how could she possibly be the cause of his downfall?
What would be left of her if she took his love and used it against him in the most cruel way possible?
She’s losing who she is around him, but it hurt so much more to reject his love. Hating him, pretending her heart isn’t a feeble muscle where he resides is exhausting.
Truth is, he doesn't make her feel safe or comfortable as she once believed a man should. He makes her feel like she's teetering at the edge of a cliff and she's getting addicted to that feeling. She’s getting addicted to him – his scent, his touch, his handsome smile and devilish smirk and most of all to the way his darkness drives away her demons.
Love has to come at once, with thunder and lightning like a hurricane that wreaks havoc on your life, to shake you up and break the heart like leaves off trees, to drag it into the abyss - abyss he created.
She used to fear the dark, but now she found herself running into it.
In that moment, she smiled.
Perhaps the darkness is not so bad if he’ll be there, holding her hand.
A/N - So, I literally wrote this in about two hours and I’m about to pass out. I wanna thank you for Eid Mubarak responses and especially for the feedback, I was just reading through them and they made my day so much better. I’m seeing some interesting theories too, some paragraphs you loved or just thoughts about the characters and IT GIVES ME LIFE. I’m so, so grateful for it all.
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welcome back | general kirigan
"Promise?" He replied and I chuckle lightly. "I promise, darling."
Y/N has set off on a journey across the Fold and never came back for 5 months, until an unexpected surprise happens . . .
General Kirigan x Female Reader
Thank you to everyone for supporting my stories, I'm trying very hard to make every story enjoyable and detailed.
The ship finally stopped and I looked around. I was here. I grabbed my bags and put on the jacket that the general has gave me before I left.
I stepped off the small ship along with some other people who must be visiting their families. I found a carriage and I waved my arms around. "Excuse me!" I've yelled. It was no use. The carriage had strolled away with a young couple.
"Looking for a carriage, miss?" A man had called from beside me. I turned to him, "Oh yes, I really need to get to the Little Castle."
"Little Castle, aye? You a Grisha?" The man eyed me carefully and I quickly shook my head. "Oh, no sir. I don't even know magic." I laughed nervously. I was a Grisha. In fact, I was an Inferni but I didn't need anyone knowing that.
"Job offer, aye?" He asked. I nodded, "The king insisted on seeing me for something, not sure though. Never told me." I lied once again. I was good at lying. I was decent, I guess. I would never say I was really good at lying. Kirigan and I's relationship was secret, none of us told anyone. If we did, it might be too dangerous.
That's what he said. He glanced at me again, "Get in," He said. "Thank you, sir." I smiled at him and I got into the small carriage.
The man closed the door and before I knew it, we were moving. My heart pounded profusely that it started hurting. I held my hand onto my chest to calm myself down. When was I ever this excited to see the general once again?
My eyes always glimmered in the sun as he walked up to me with a huge smile on his face. He was always happy whenever he looked at me. People have said,
I've never seen the general this happy..
This is honestly terrifying to watch..
Many people commented on how the general smiled at me but did it matter really? People were catching on though, which freaked me out.
The carriage had stopped. Already? My heart pounded loudly for me to hear, not anyone else. "We're here," The man yelled from the outside. I got out and got out bunch of coins from my purse, "Thank you so much," I said as I gave him the last of my coins. He eyed me again, "No problem..?" He was confused why I was extremely happy to be at the Little Palace.
I quickly ran off, the wind blew onto my face as I continued to run to find the person I've thought about everyday the past 5 months. What if he moved on..?
I slowed down. I was getting negative thoughts now. "Oh god, oh god.." I shook my head, "How stupid of me," I muttered quietly. I walked up to the gates. The guards eyed me, "Hello, Y/N. Welcome back," One of them said. I just smiled at them, "Thank you, nice to see you guys too." I smiled.
People always seemed to like me, I always made people smile, even when they were sad.
The gates opened slowly and I started to run, it was time. Finally. I was going to see him again. I opened the doors to the Little Palace and I looked around. I walked up to a guard who was sitting down, relaxing. "Sorry to abrupt your nap, sir but do you know where general Kirigan is at?"
"Oh, Y/N. You're back." The guard smiles. "I'll get him for you." He replied as he walked away to get Aleksander.
Moments have passed and I just sat down on a small wooden chair nearby. The trip was exhausting. I could still hear the volcra's cries. It was not nice.
A knock was heard on the door. "Yes?" I spoke as I looked at Alina who was looking at me with a grin. I just shook my head. "Y/N is here."
My eyes widened, "Y/N? Whose that?" Alina frowned. "My girlfriend." I spoke. "Never told me you had a girlfriend."
"Don't need to." I replied as I ran out of the room, "Where is she?" I asked the guard. "The entrance downstairs."
"Thank you." I said. She was here. Finally. After all this time.
I rushed down the stairs until I saw the familiar face that belonged to the girl I thought of the most in front of me. "Y/N!" I yelled.
"Y/N!" A familiar voice yelled. I quickly turned my head to see the general running to me. "Ale-" Before I could talk, he scooped me in his arms. "I missed you, love."
"I missed you too, general." I laughed. "No letters?" He asked, sighing. He was glad I was okay. I know he was. "You didn't receive them? How odd." I replied. "It's fine, just as long as you're safe and you're with me." He whispered softly as he puts me down. "I'm never going to leave you, even if I do - not without you. Never."
"Promise?" He replied and I chuckle lightly. "I promise, darling."
"Welcome back." He smiled.
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