#alex attempts youtube

[rpfisfine]

alex's job description for every intro: look beautifully into the camera, nod at everything aleksa is saying, occasionally exclaim "yeah", "yep" and things of this nature, sometimes even say a sentence or two. nothing else

#i dont wanna sway your guys' opinion but i think this is some of my best work if im being honest #hes literally a passenger princess but for youtube videos can anyone in the world hear what im saying at all #ididathing #boy boy #alex apollonov #aleksa vulović #hes only done intros like a handful of times ever but i especially cant get over the jordan peterson video where he was the one to do it #and he literally did an okay job but aleksa nitpicked everything he said and bullied him so bad for it for no reason that he hasn't #attempted it since thats the most tragic and deeply hilarious in the world to me like.....ok aleksa.... #no one in the world could do a better job than you i guess.....(true)

[aoki553]

never let me use vegas pro again

#yes this is genuinely my first attempt at video editing in it #youtube poop #ytp #volume warning #flashing lights #eyestrain #saiki kusuo no psi nan #saiki kusuo no ψ nan #saiki k #saiki kusuo #alex rambles #shitpost #mp4 #prostacare #earrape

[matthieusand]

Смотрите видео "Daydreaming" в приложении YouTube Music

He paid attention to it once and now all he could hear was that ticking of that big old clock in the dining room. This house had a heartbeat, this house was the only living being around.

He was trying to be quiet so as not to bother anyone, although he knew that the building was empty. It looked even older and more abandoned than it was. The stairs were creaking as he was making his way upstairs as if they were asking: "Why? Why? Why?"

When he came to the door of Nigel's room he felt his own heartbeat and it was faster and louder than the house's.

Alex touched the smooth cold wooden handle and it seemed to him that he heard someone gasp. He wasn't sure if he was able to proceed, however this time he had made progress. 

He came back three days later early in the morning when the earliest of the birds were just starting to warm up. The silence inside was eloquent. He could hear neither the clock nor the stairs - not even his own heartbeat anymore. Everything around was frozen in anticipation. He pressed the handle and pushed the door. The air in the room was cooler than it was in the hall.

Nigel was sitting on the bed drawing a portrait with a piece of coal. He must have been failing to draw it the way he wanted because many unfinished portraits of the same person were scattered around the room. He looked at Alex with a calm smile. 

- I'm so happy you've made it. I almost forgot how you look. I was trying to remember as you might have noticed.

- I wanted to come earlier. 

It was all Alex could say. He sat on the bed beside Nigel and repeated:

- I wanted to come earlier. I should have protected you.

- I'm quite satisfied with the way the things are now. Just look.

Alex noticed that it was raining or… it had been raining for some time. The sound of the rain made the room feel cozy and safe - he could be sure that all predators were in their holes. The room itself wasn't Nigel's room anymore - it was much bigger and lighter. They could watch the rain comе back into the ocean. The silver skies, the air, the sound of waves, the smells and sounds - all of that had a kind of prehistoric character. In this place there was no such a thing as time anymore. They were home.

- Alright, - says a black-haired pretty young god placing his head comfortably on the chest of his freckled friend. - This one was tough. Do you still doubt my love for you? I manage to find you and win you every time no matter how hard you try to hide and make it impossible for me. 

His voice sounds tired and his eyelids are so heavy he can't keep his silver eyes open anymore so he stops struggling.

- Let's try again a bit later, - answers the freckled god caressing the brunette's face. - There are some new stories in my mind I'd like to share with you. 

- But there is always a chance we forget who we are if we stay there for too long, - the brunette protested quietly. - You were late this time. Late and confused. And you want to take this risk again just because you want me to prove something to you?

- I've never doubted you, love. We both know we're fated to be together, - answered the ginger haired god serenely kissing the other one on the lips. - You are so beautiful. I just enjoy it so much when they look at us.

#well #maybe I shouldn't share this #it's my first attempt #don't judge pls #i actually wrote this to deal with my anxiety #but if someone likes it then I'm happy #this is just a sketch #like minds #like minds 2006 #nigel colbie #alex forbes #murderous intent #Youtube

[thetreetopinn]

Sources for Somerton's Plagiarism from Hbomberguy's Video (as much as I could get)

I went back through Harry's video, focused entirely on the sources James Somerton pulled from in the hopes of creating as much of a comprehensive list as I could--though my Google-Fu is not very strong. I did however find something I thought was forever lost and that made me very happy--specifically the magazine Midlands Zone containing the column by Steven Spinks that Harry poignantly used as an illustration of gay erasure... while Somerton uses it to sound like HE is waxing remorseful about the very subject.

This is not a complete list, I'm sure. For one thing, I was only able to attempt to pull sources that Harry himself mentioned in the video. Surely there's so very much more out there. I expect there to be a great deal more internet archeology to unearth just how much writing and culture Somerton has stolen like he's the British Museum of Natural History but for gay people.

- - - - -

Harry's list of mentioned youtubers:

Alexander Avila - https://www.youtube.com/@alexander_avila Matt Baume - https://www.youtube.com/@MattBaume Khadija Mbowe - https://www.youtube.com/@KhadijaMbowe Lady Emily - https://www.youtube.com/@LadyEmilyPresents Shanspeare - https://www.youtube.com/@Shanspeare RickiHirsch - https://www.youtube.com/@RickiHirsch VerilyBitchie - https://www.youtube.com/@verilybitchie

Harry created a convenient playlist of videos by these and other people he wants to bring to everyone's attention.

Please give them your support.

- - - - -

Midlands Zone Magazine - Column by Steven Spinks

After a great deal of searching, I found an archive of the "Midlands Zone" magazine, where you can read through past issues dating all the way back to February 2014. I have also found the issue from which Somerton took Spinks' poignant discussion of gay erasure: Overall archive Specific Issue - Pages 16-17

It will not allow you to download it, but you can read it exactly as it appeared in print form.

- - - - -

My best effort to find the exact book or article Somerton lifted from to be able to get attention to the original writers

Tinker Bells and Evil Queens By Sean Griffin

The Celluloid Closet By Vito Russo Wikipedia article about the book Wikipedia article about the documentary My weak google-fu could not find where you can access the book or documentary. Check your local municipal or university library for book or documentary, or if you know a good source for one or both, please reblog with it added

Camp and the Gay Sensibility By Jack Babuscio

The Groundbreaking Queerness of Disney's Mulan By Jes Tom Personal site with links to social media accounts

Why Rebel Without a Cause was a milestone for gay rights By Peter Howell

Why "The Craft" is still the best Halloween coming out movie By Andrew Park

Opinion: From facehuggers to phallic tails, is 'Alien' one of the queerest films ever? By Dani Leever

Women and Queerness in Horror: Jennifer's Body By Zoe Fortier

[Pride 2019] We Have Such Sights to Show You: Hellraiser and the Spectrum of Queerness By Alejandra Gonzalez

Revealing the Hellbound Heart of Clive Barker's 'Hellraiser' By Colin Arason

Queering James Cameron's Aliens (1986) By Bart Bishop

Demeter and Persephone in space: transformation, femininity, and myth in the 'Alien' films By David Greven

Fears of a millennial masculinity: Scream's queer killers By David Greven (Scholarly site, unable to access original work, offers a way to request a full copy of the text in PDF)

Queer Subtext in Stephen King's It - Part 1: 'Reddie' Character Analysis By Rachel Brands Rachel is the very unfortunate lady who found out she was being stolen from because she supported Somerton through Patreon and saw one of his videos early with her writing--lacking any form of citation or credit

How 'It: Chapter Two' Leaves Richie Tozier Behind By Joelle Monique

When Horror Becomes Strength: Queer Armor in Stephen King's 'IT' By Alex London

Why Queer People Love Witchcraft By Amanda Kohr

'The Favourite' Queers The Past And The Present By Giorgi Plys-Garzotto

(Wuko) Crush (Mako x Wu) By MoonFlower on YouTube

5 Terrible Movies With Awesome Hidden Meanings By J.F. Sargent

The Radicalization of Sexuality: The Queer Casae of Jeffrey Dahmer By Ian Barnard

Netflix's 'Dahmer' backlash highlights ethical issues in the platform's obsession with true crime By Shivani Dubey

The Possible Disturbing Dissonance Between Hajime Isayama's Beliefs and Attack on Titan's Themes Original Article by "Seldom Musings" (Author has made all posts not related to Attack On Titan private and has retired from the blog)

Everyone Loves Attack on Titan. So Why Does Everyone Hate Attack on Titan? By Gita Jackson

- - - - -

The following people are otherwise named in the video. There are no direct citations of articles or books by them in said video. I am unable to guarantee that I have identified the correct individual.

Darren Elliott-Smith Michaela Barton David Church Claire Sisco King Amanda Howell Jessica Roy

- - - - -

Telos announced and cancelled a film likely based on this book: The Final Girl Support Group - By Grady Hendrix

- - - - -

I refrained from including certain sources.

First off only focusing on Somerton's work.

Secondly not including anything that might be visible enough to not require amplifying their voice (I cannot speak for all of those I have found links to, but journalism is frequently a thankless job).

Thirdly any source that is of a nature that is antithetical to the very existence of the queer community, such as the right-leaning source that didn't make it into Somerton's video, but Harry was able to identify as a source he had considered using.

If you feel I have missed a mentioned source--or you know of a source from material that was not covered in Harry's video--please do not hesitate to reblog with added details.

- - - - -

Please share this information far and wide, and please add to it if you find more material that can be positively identified and linked to the creator/writer.

#hbomberguy #james somerton #Plagiarism #Queer #LGBT #LGBTQIA #youtube #Solidarity #gay erasure #Make them un-erased

[lewisvinga]

my shot | alex albon x fem! reader x lily muni he

summary; after admitting in an interview about their crush on a certain youtuber, alex and lily decide to shoot their shot through instagram

fc; tara yummy

warnings; ?? none i think

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1

notes; requested ! i’m obsessed w tara yummy rn

masterlist !

liked by lilymhe, alex_albon, and others !

yourusername: let’s go to the beach each

username: the shirt 😭😭😭

username: i just know y/n was struggling in the 5 ft end

yourusername: i was , i suck at swimming 🤕🤕

lilymhe: crazy i know how to swim !

username: lily what are u doing here 😭😭

username: the last picture is so cunty i love it

username: she’s so queen

username: not lily and alex in the likes 😭

alex_albon: let’s go get a wave

yourusername: they say what they gonna say

alex_albon: have a drink, clink, found a bud light

yourusername: bad bitches like me are hard to come by

lilymhe: you are the baddest bitch

username: this comment thread ???😭😭

username: alex albon’s attempt at flirting it just singing nicki minaj

username: he has a gf tho

username: you can’t tell me they both aren’t in love w her…

yourusername uploaded to their story !

[caption 1; last few days here 😴] [caption 2; tanning bc i can’t swim]

lilymhe replied to your story !

lilymhe so you really can’t swim?

yourusername lol i suck at it, i always use floaties when i’m in the pool & i refuse to go in the ocean😭

lilymhe maybe if we happen to be in the same place , i can teach you😁😁

yourusername you just wanna see me in a bikini don’t you🥴

lilymhe i mean yes. deleted !

lilymhe just helping a girl out and shooting my shot?😁😁

yourusername ur cute

lilymhe and i think ur cuter

yourusername you and….

lilymhe alex and i think you’re cute 😁

yourusername: i’ll be at the miami gp btw, maybe you both can teach me how to swim😌

lilymhe oh, we’re ready, pretty girl

alex_albon replied to your story !

alex_albon heyyyy[100% rizz]

yourusername: oh your girlfriend is much better at this than you are

alex_albon i’m trying 😔

alex_albon but i managed to pull her anyways 🤓

yourusername you’re a dork but it’s cute🤕

alex_albon so me shooting my shot is working?😁😁

yourusername oh 100%

alex_albon a little birdie told me you’re going to the miami gp?

yourusername yeah, might be dressed in ferrari red

alex_albon why not williams blue? you should come to our garage instead 😁

yourusername hmmm u gotta convince me, pretty boy 🧐

alex_albon well, lily and i will be there , isn’t that enough?

yourusername you’re right ,

yourusername i’ll see you in the williams garage then, pretty boy😇

liked by lilymhe, alex_albon, and others !

yourusername: i like to see cars racing now i guess

tagged; lilymhe, alex_albon, williamsracing

williamsracing: the cuntiest guest in our garage

yourusername: why thank u admin

lilymhe: ugh you’re gorgeous 😩

yourusername: hello?? you’re the most gorgeous 🥴🥴

lilymhe: in my f1 driver era liked by yourusername !

alex_albon: i feel so special knowing i had the 2 prettiest girls ever rooting for me

yourusername: you’re a dork but i’ll cheer for u every race 🤓

username: OMG HELLO😀

username: my fave youtuber and f1?? i’m so??

username: alex lily n y/n are acting very suspicious…….🧐🧐🧐

username: i just wanna know how this all happened

username: imagine lily and alex sliding into her dms 😭😭😭

username: they’re just like me fr

username: i gotta be REAL honest w y’all, they’d look hot asf as a throuple

username: oomf are u insane

username: look at oomf dawg😭😭😭

username: no i get it

#formula one x reader #f1 x reader #f1 smau #f1 scenario #formula one scenarios #f1 imagine #formula one imagines #formula one imagine #f1 scenarios #formula one social media au #alex albon smau #alex albon scenarios #alex albon x reader #lily muni he x reader

[sebscore]

please write about the gzd doing twitch streams! she would have the most entertaining ones i think. she react to different grill the grid videos and funny f1 videos too.

GLASS HALF FULL KINDA GAL

pairings: f1 grid x driver!reader 

warnings: swearing. drunk reader. 

author's note: someone asked for gzd to do some streaming! I know it's not twitch, but i'm quite happy with the way this turned out! X 

masterlist

• • • • • • •

''Hello, everyone! I am here again, gracing you with my presence!'' Y/N greeted the thousands of people tuning into her Instagram live. 

She waved at the camera. ''I hope everyone had a great day or is about to have a great day, depends on where you live,'' she grinned, ''I'm here to live out my influencer life and unbox a package that has been delivered to me.'' 

Y/N grabbed the box from next to her so it was more visible on the screen. ''My good friend, Daniel Ricciardo sent me a box of his new wine collection,'' she showed the large logo to everyone, holding the box close to the camera, ''and I'm gonna try it out now.'' 

The young driver opens the package and picks out one of the three identical wine bottles. ''So this is called 'DR3 the Third Cabernet Sauvignon' and it was made in the South of Australia.'' She read the label out loud, an impressed look on her face. 

Y/N held the wine bottle up in front of her phone as if she were a Youtuber showing their viewers the make-up product they were using. ''Very, very pretty.'' 

She took the corkscrew that she had quickly grasped before starting the live and easily opened the bottle. ''This isn't my first time at the rodeo, guys.'' Y/N chuckled as she saw fans commenting about how she opened the bottle with ease. 

''Okay, let's taste this baby!'' Filling her glass with wine, she was excited to try Daniel's new wine. 

The young woman made several comedic attempts at seeming like a professional wine expert; smelling the drink and spinning her glass around. 

''Cheers, everyone!'' She tapped her glass against the screen of her phone. 

Y/N took a big sip from the wine, letting out a big ''Ah'' at the end. ''I love this! Holy Moly, Danny Ric!'' She drank from her glass again, immediately filling it up again. ''I'm a fan!'' 

She glanced at the comments, seeing a certain Australian man camping in there. ''Danny! You're here! I just drank it, it's amazing!'' 

| danielricciardo that's some fine wine

| danielricciardo happy you like it 💙

| danielricciardo say hi to me, pls

| danielricciardo HI Y/N!!

''Hi, Daniel! I miss you, haven't seen you in a while.'' Y/N pouted, waving to the camera. ''You better be there in Melbourne! It won't be the same otherwise.'' She said, trying to come across as threatening. 

| danielricciardo will be there 😎

| danielricciardo miss you too 

| landonorris you're drinking again? 

Y/N rolled her eyes at the entrance of the Brit. ''Fuck off, Lando. People who have won a Grand Prix get to drink on a livestream.'' She teased him, a smirk on her face. 

| landonorris okay, that is mean 

| landonorris drink then i guess 

Before she knew it, her once full glass was empty again. ''Let's fill you up, eh?'' She cringed as the words left her mouth. ''Ew- that sounds disgusting. Forget I said that.'' 

''Dan, good thing you put three bottles in here- I'm really enjoying myself and these babies.'' The 'babies' being the wine bottles. 

| alex_albon a Y/N drunk live? don't want to miss that 

''Albono!'' She greeted Alex, excitedly. ''Where is Lily, though? I want her here.'' 

| alex_albon my presence isn't good enough for you? 😒

''No, your presence is not good enough.'' Y/N bluntly answered, grinning from ear to ear. 

She scratched her voice. ''Am I drinking this too fast? My glass is almost done and I refilled it like 2 minutes ago.'' The driver observed her glass, frowning when she saw it was almost empty again. 

| danielricciardo yes, you are drinking too fast

| landonorris no, you're not

| landonorris drink faster 

| landonorris I can drink way faster 😌

''Norris, are you challenging me?'' She raised her eyebrow at the camera as if she was looking at Lando in real life. ''Accepted, Rumple.'' 

| alex_albon this is a disaster waiting to happen

| lilymhe you look lonely, Y/N 😏💋

''Lily! My wife is here, guys!'' Y/N yells as soon as she saw Lily's comment. ''I do look lonely,'' she smirked, ''I bet you can fix that.'' 

| alex_albon STOP IT 

| alex_albon ENOUGH 

| lilymhe wait for me ❤️❤️❤️

''Alex, you stop it with the jealousy! Never let someone's boyfriend stop you from finding your wife, guys!'' She told the viewers as if she was a teacher telling her students about an important subject. 

Y/N took another big gulp from her wine, leaving it empty. ''Should I just drink from the bottle, cause I don't plan on stopping soon.'' She showed said bottle to the viewers as if they could talk back to her. 

''Oh, fuck it.'' She put her glass away and started drinking from the bottle itself. 

| danielricciardo CALM DOWN

| georgerussell63 You worry me sometimes. 

''Go away, Russell George!'' Y/N exclaimed, waving her hand at the camera. ''You only drink tea, you're not allowed to judge me.'' 

''I'm just joking, you can stay.'' The pretend annoyed look on her face was replaced for a genuine smile. ''As long as you don't judge me, you British tall glass of water.'' The driver quickly added with a teasing grin. 

| georgerussell63 I have to go.

| georgerussell63 I have to make tea 😉

| landonorris BYE GEORGE 👋👋👋👋

''Anyway,'' Y/N gave the camera a sassy look, ''we should turn this into a Q&A! If you have questions for me- please leave them in the comments!'' She loudly clapped her hands together, scaring herself at the loud sound. 

| user1 Y/N, are you drunk yet? 

''No, I'm not drunk,'' the woman answered, ''I have a very high alcohol tolerance!'' 

| landonorris she doesn't

| danielricciardo No, you really don't 

| pierregasly you were on the floor after one pastis 😅

''Shut up and when did Pierre get here?'' Y/N shook her head at her colleagues' comments. ''Gasly, you don't know what you're talking about.'' She dismissed his reply, despite knowing he's telling the truth. 

| user2 there's something behind you

Y/N's eyes widened at the comment, slowly looking behind her. ''Dude- fuck off! Don't say stuff like that! I don't have a ghost in my house!'' She put her hand on her heart, feeling the rapid beating underneath her palm. 

''It would be cool to have one, though.'' She thought deeply. ''Like, I would be less lonely and we could keep each other company… I hope they're like, cool, like not a serial killer, you know? Or a child- UGH! Please, don't let it be a child! I like kids, but I don't want to have one and especially not a ghost one.'' 

| landonorris who is youre favourite driver? 🤭

| georgerussell63 It is 'your', Lando. 

| alex_albon your* 

| landonorris don't you have drivers to hit? 

''My favourite driver? Well, Lando, that's an excellent question! My answer is Lewis Hamilton! My favourite McLaren driver of all time.'' She smiled evilly. 

| landonorris 😑

| danielricciardo excuse me

| danielricciardo that's my wine you are drinking 😤

''Danny, you're my second favourite! And my bottle is almost done so you can see that I'm really appreciating the wine.'' Y/N defended her answer, once again showing the bottle to the camera. 

| user3 How old are you? 

''I'm 23!'' She replied, excitedly. ''That's also the amount of brain cells Lando has, funny enough.'' 

| landonorris meanie 

| landonorris I don't want to be your friend anymore 😢

''Wait- we were friends to begin with? Oh, Lando…'' Y/N dramatically shook her head, sighing in feigned disappointment as if she were a teacher upset with her student. ''You have so much to learn about the real world.'' 

''Also, now that we're on the topic of the real world,'' she started off speaking about the new thought that had somehow found its way into her head, ''Pluto.'' 

''Like, I feel so bad for them. They were just chilling, you know? And then on one tragic day, they were just kicked out - as if they were nothing. I wonder how they're doing these days. I was heartbroken when I received the news. The solar system hasn't been the same without them.'' She bumped her fist on her chest and pointed at the sky, shouting Pluto out. 

| danielricciardo pls stop drinking

| danielricciardo you're doing it again

| user4 WHY IS SHE TALKING ABOUT PLUTO BEING KICKED OUT OF THE SOLAR SYSTEM HELP 

| user5 SHES SO DRUNK OMFG 

''That second bottle is looking very sexy right now, I can't lie.'' Y/N eyed the second bottle in the wine box, pursing her lips. 

| alex_albon Y/N NO! 

| pierregasly dude, you're on live 😂😂😂

| user6 DONT DRINK MORE 

''You know when you tell a child that they shouldn't do something, but it makes them want to do it even more? Yeah, that is what's happening right now.'' The driver chuckled, grabbing the bottle out of the box and opening it with the corkscrew. 

''I already know I'm going to regret this, but frankly, I don't give a shit.'' And with that she took a large gulp of the wine. 

| user7 do you want to become world champion this year? 

Y/N gave the camera a side-eye as she read the question out loud. ''I mean… isn't that kinda the point? HA! No, I'm just doing all of this for funsies.'' 

''But Max will probably win this year again… I'm gonna try to not let that happen, but that Red Bull… it's too good.'' She sighed, getting more real thinking about the season. 

''You know… maybe the real World Championship is the friends we made along the way.'' 

| charles_leclerc oh, you are really drunk 😂

| pierregasly I told you, charlito 

| zhouguanyu24 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

| landonorris someone needs to hack her account and stop this 

''Please, don't hack my account.'' Y/N said in a monotone voice. ''Am I acting bad or something? I'm just answering questions, Lando.'' 

| nicorosberg Hello, Y/N! 👋

''BRITNEY!'' The young woman exclaimed as she noticed the former driver's comment. ''You know how this shit works? Damn, what can't Nico Rosberg do?'' 

''You're still my favourite Monaco-based Youtuber, by the way.'' She winked at the camera, pretending it is the German she's winking at. ''I can't believe I have a World Champion watching my Instagram live.'' 

''You really are a legend for 2016, Brit.'' 

| nicorosberg Thank you! 

| danielricciardo I think it's time to log off, Y/N… 

| user8 NOT HER TALKING TO NICO LIKE THAT 😭😭

| user9 Y/N PLS TALK ABOUT BROCEDES WE KNOW YOU GOT THE TEA ☕️☕️

| user10 lewis and seb watching this : 👁👄👁

''Gentlemen, a short view back to the past-''

THE LIVE HAS ENDED

taglist :: @starsanova @missskid @missthem @rosesintj @evans-dejong @thehistoryone @dreamycloudsworld @alonsogirlie @muushmeg @topguncultleader @the-great-adventures-of-me @love13tter @xcharlottemikaelsonx @kiwisa @starkwlkr @nora_moon @princesselle2111 @valluvsu @thatsadsmallchild @babyyoda89 @milkbreadforlife @fxllfaiiry @hc-dutch @its-ash-not-grey @princessbetsy123 @mehrmonga @nyenye @screechingtrashkid @ahnneyong @holybatflapexpert @itsnotgray @beautycinders @rowansshit @uhhevie @revengze @nylaslife @majx00 @multi-universe21 @jaydensluv @isasalom @gentlemonsterjennie1 @appledashhh @breathinfive @lighttsoutlewis @champomiel @ooooohmicky @koufaxx @flannelforthetoads 

@mysticfalls01 @ghostcorazon @mango-bear @totally-random-person @youkissedareaderinthedark @phoenix-luv @hamilton-mount @calcaneous @aurora-maria @idkiwantchocolatee @anonymous-platypus1

#f1 fic #f1 fics #f1 x reader #daniel ricciardo x reader #alex albon x reader #lando norris x reader #george russell x reader #f1 x you #f1 imagines #female f1 driver #formula 1 fic #f1 oc #f1 x y/n #formula one fics #formula 1 oc

[inmyjaws]

As much as Alex’s response was gracious and well written, I really do believe anyone who bothered to read through the original “callout” document could have come to most of these conclusions themselves. It’s a ridiculous laundry list of personal relationship grievances, outing a trans woman while claiming her identity is a lie and her presentation inherently fetishistic, and attempting to vilify and humiliate her by publicly exposing details of her sex life. With the exception of heavily venting to a 16 year old fan, which I do see as irresponsible and which Alex acknowledges and apologizes for in her response, there’s basically nothing in the document that merits outrage to begin with. It appears that Ven is at least 22 years old. That’s my age, and it makes this whole thing feel almost comical. 22 is old enough to be able to handle expressing your boundaries—yes, even in conversation with a person who has almost a million subscribers on youtube for their spooky horror videos, wow, what social power—especially when that person is clearly receptive and immediately pumps the brakes when you do bring those boundaries up.

I’ve been following the discussion surrounding this pretty closely for the last week or so, and am happy to see that plenty of other people have noted the rampant transmisogyny and general abuse of buzzwords to rile up the impressionable and bloodthirsty internet into trying to validate the Victim’s hurt feelings over their ex. It’s despicable. I wish the very best for Alex moving forward. Please at LEAST read the call out posts you are spreading with a critical eye, especially when those posts (as they often do!!) attempt to equate transfeminine identity with “perversion.” That should be an instant red flag.

#the mandela catalogue #alex kister

[trashpandato]

Magic

“Ah fuck,” Alex growls as the coin clatters on the tile floor.

“Language, babe. You know with Kara here, Esme can still hear you even from her room.”

Kelly’s admonishment is firm but warm, and Lena has to smile when she sees Alex’s frustration morph into adoration for her wife.

“Sorry,” Alex mumbles, before she bends down to pick up the coin to try again.

“It’s okay to fumble a little,” Lena reminds her gently, “the key is going to be to create enough distraction with your voice and words that your subject won’t really be paying attention to your hand.”

They’ve been at it for a while now. It being Lena teaching Alex a couple of very simple magic tricks. Alex isn’t particularly good at learning them, but when Esme came home from preschool a couple of weeks ago babbling non-stop about the “cool tricks” her teacher showed them, Alex promised herself to learn a few so she could keep the glee going at home, too. After she spent a few evenings trying and failing miserably to teach them herself through some YouTube videos, she sent a call for help to the Superfriends. 

And here they are now, Lena sitting in front of Alex, teaching her to hide a coin behind her fingers long enough to pull them out of Lena’s hair.

“You know,” Alex says as she shakes out her hand to get ready for her next attempt, “I know you’re a witch and all, but I never thought Lena Luthor would know these kinds of party tricks.”

Lena laughs. She demonstrates again how to tuck the coin first between and then behind her fingers while Alex watches.

“Lex taught me. Long ago, when we were both young. I think initially, he was trying to impress me, to be the cool older brother. But I saw through the tricks very quickly, so he pivoted to teaching them to me.”

Alex nods. She knows that Lena doesn’t like talking about Lex, especially not about this version of him, the brother who welcomed her into the family when no one else did, the brother she loved. Admittedly, Alex struggles to reconcile what she knows about Lex Luthor with the fragments of stories Lena has shared over the years, but she keeps that to herself. Mostly.

“Alright. Let me try this again.” 

Alex concentrates, holds up her hand, and this time, the coin doesn’t fall. She lets out a loud whoop and gives Lena a high five. The excitement and noise must have drifted into Esme’s room because only a few moments later, both Esme and Kara appear in the kitchen.

“What’s all the ruckus about?” Kara asks.

Alex claps her hands together, beaming. “I learned a new skill. Here,” she waves at Esme to come closer. “Let me show you.”

Esme bounces over to her adoptive mom and Alex directs her to sit down on Lena’s lap. Esme is practically buzzing, kicking her legs out excitedly. 

“What is it, what is it?”

“Hold still,” Alex tells her, and then she focuses on the trick. “See how I have nothing in my hands?”

Alex waves her hands briefly and Esme nods.

“Okay. But you know what? I think you, you might have something riiiight here.”

Alex slowly lifts her hand toward Esme’s left ear and produces the coin. It’s a bit clumsy but the coin doesn’t fall. It sits right in Alex’s hand.

For a brief second, Esme is silent. Then, she frowns.

“You had it tucked between your fingers.”

Alex sighs. She should have known that Esme would see through it. She’s just about to explain that she just wanted to learn a fun trick for her when Lena interrupts.

“I think that was my fault, actually.”

Esme twists in Lena’s lap so she can look at her, and Alex tilts her head in surprise.

“How so?”

“Well, you see, I gave Alex the wrong coin.” 

Lena holds out her hand and Alex places the coin in her palm.

“This one,” Lena continues, “is just a regular coin. We need a magic coin for this to work, so let’s just, let’s get rid of this one, yeah?”

Esme nods, her gaze locked on Lena’s palm. Lena closes her hand, shakes it a couple of times and then opens it again and the coin is gone. Completely gone. Alex tries to see if Lena has it tucked behind her fingers but then Lena turns her hand around and spreads her fingers wide and the coin is nowhere to be seen.

“Now, should we try and find the magic coin?”

Esme nods vigorously this time, her eyes bright and curious.

“Alright. Let me see. Hm,” Lena turns to look over at Kara, who’s been standing a couple of feet behind her, observing. “Ah. I think I know where it is. Kara, could you come over here for a second?”

Kara smiles and steps closer. Lena gestures at her to bend down a little so she is face to face with both Lena and Esme. Then Lena turns to Esme.

“Can you see the coin?”

Esme shakes her head. “No. Where is it?”

“See if it is behind her ears maybe?”

Esme frowns a little but then both hands come up to move Kara’s hair aside. She checks both ears, several times.

“I don’t see it,” Esme pouts.

“Check again,” Lena encourages, giving Alex a quick wink.

And this time, when Esme’s hand moves towards Kara’s right ear to brush her hair to the side, a coin tumbles right into her little hand.

“It’s here!” Esme exclaims loudly, showing off the coin. She hops off Lena’s lap and runs into her room, squealing.

Kara looks a little stunned. “What? How did you do that?”

Alex huffs out a laugh. “You know, it’s not really fair to use actual magic. How am I supposed to keep up with that?”

But Lena just smiles. “No magic involved, Agent Danvers.”

And that leaves Alex just as stunned as her sister. “Wait. Really?”

“Mm,” Lena hums. 

From back behind the kitchen counter, Kelly laughs.

“You’ve always been good with your hands, Lena. Maybe Alex needs a bit more practice?” And then, she smirks: “I’m happy to volunteer as a test subject.”

#supercorp #kara x lena #alex danvers #kelly olsen #esme #supercorptober2023 #supercorptober

[enchanterium-fan-account]

Spooky, scary skeletons aren’t the only thing that will send shivers down your spine after watching this video! 💀 So far you’ve seen Enchanterium turn Flora’s green thumb black, and transform Princess Layla/Aisha into a skeletal morphix mermaid. This time around, we’re going to see their dark version of Bloom, fairy of the dragon flame!!

“This is how it ended up looking after the addition. So much sparklier, and much better!”

“This attempt has a more angry and less seductive expression, but I think it works for a dark fairy.”

“I wanted to add more of a fantasy element to her face, so she’s not just an angry red head.”

“Let’s go back to less political stuff. Like fairy wings.”

“What is a witch, or dark fairy I guess, without a spooky coat?”

This is it, the last winx girl doll I can post until Barb and Alex decide to make more 😢😢. If you want more of their takes on dark, corrupted fairies, go watch the Winx club videos, of Bloom and Flora and Layla/Aisha!

If you like the content, consider subscribing to the Enchanterium YouTube channel! 💚💙💖

#winx club #winx club bloom #dark bloom #doll customization #dollblr #enchanterium

[sunflower-lilac42]

✧ 𝐈𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬 | sturniolo triplets ♔

summary: y/n was always the one to listen to her friends and brothers, but she was never the one that people listened to or 3 times y/n helped her brothers/friends and 1 time they didn’t help her. (not really in chronological order).

warnings: sad, being lonely, crying, mentions of abuse, mentions of ed, mentions of cancer

notes: part of the 'behind the lens' series. please keep in mind that all of these scenarios are all fake and i don't mean to harm anyone.

series masterlist | celebrities masterlist | main masterlist

1. Alex

“her best friend wears long sleeves in mid-june, hope no one will see she’s black and blue”

Y/n sits in her bedroom in her apartment watching YouTube when she gets a text from her friend, Alex, wondering if she wants to hang out soon.

It was the middle of June and she had been out of college for two or so years and has been getting into a stage and routine of being independent. When she met up with Alex at the coffee shop she took note of the shirt he was wearing. She decided not to question it for now, letting Alex bring anything up if he wanted to. 

Throughout their time together she started to notice more and more things uncharacteristic of him, the little sideways glances to see who was around them before he spoke, the rubbing of his wrists, he was silent compared to his outgoing personality. She didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable but she also didn’t want him to feel like he couldn’t tell her anything. 

“Are you okay?”

“Wh-what do you mean?”His eyes looked panicked and he looked around again to see who was around them.

She placed a hand over his, “Let’s go for a walk, yeah?” He nods and the two get up and leave. They walk in silence for a little bit, Alex trying to figure out what to say and how to say it while Y/n thinks to herself about the multiple possibilities. 

She’s read about things like this before but hasn’t experienced it. She didn’t even want to experience it but that was how she was. If her friend was in need, she would be there. It wasn’t that long until Alex spoke, “I don’t know what to say, y/n/n. I don’t want anyone to get in trouble.”

“Alex, no one is getting in trouble unless they deserve it. I won’t say anything if you don’t want me to.” He nods and attempts to say what he wants to. 

When he finally said it, the thing y/n had been thinking this whole time, she kept a stoic face. She didn’t want to jump into the whole ‘I’m so sorry’ because it wasn’t her fault and Alex hated when people pitied him. But she wanted to get him out of that relationship, out of that apartment.

“Please don’t argue with me on this, you’re coming to stay with me. Not for a while but at least for a little bit. I can’t say I know how this is but I promise you we will get through it together. Unless you don’t want to.”

Alex nodded, he knew there was no fighting her. He knew she wasn’t trying to be controlling and she was just trying to be the best friend she could possibly be and he let her. 

✧༺♥༻∞

2. Nick

“her sister skips meals to fit into the dresses she wore back in high school”

Y/n had been hanging out with her brothers when she started to notice it. She wasn’t totally concerned. She was worried yes, it was her brother and he had been leaving his trail of insecure thoughts behind him like a dog who stepped in mud. 

She watched as Nick picked at his food from across the table at the restaurant that he picked. She knew there was something wrong, she picked up on these things pretty easily. It wasn’t that hard when you spend the majority of your life worrying about others and not yourself. 

As always, she didn’t want to ask in front of the other two (or anyone else for that matter), so she waited. When they left the restaurant Matt and Chris decided to go into a store as the other two stood outside. She waited until the boys were completely out of earshot before she even thought about speaking up on the subject. 

She knew it would be a sensitive one, but it seemed like everything was nowadays. She finally gained the courage to speak to her younger brother, “Nick, are you okay?”

“‘Course I am, y/n/n. Why wouldn’t I be?” He was much more convincing than Alex. Alex had it written all over his face that something was wrong. 

She knew this behavior, she practically was a master at it and she could tell Nick had picked up a couple of things here are there. She stared intently at the boy, “Mhm, sure. Now you actually want to talk to me about it?”

He shrugged and looked off into the distance, twiddling with his fingers. She started to whistle, trying to annoy him and succeeding. 

“Can you stop, please?”

“Stop what? Stop being a nice older sister? Stop worrying about my brother? Stop trying to help?”

“Yes.”

“Nick, you know I hate being an overbearing sister but I can tell something is wrong. Can you please tell me what it is so I can help?”

“I don’t want your help, y/n.”

She sighed, “Fine. I understand but if you do, I’ll be here, ‘kay?”

“Whatever.”

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛

The triplets were staying at Y/n’s apartment for a little while as they visited her in the northern part of California. Matt and Chris were staying in the guest bedroom while Nick wanted to sleep in the living room. 

Y/n had tried to get him to at least sleep in her room and let her take the couch but he refused, saying it was her house and she should sleep in her own bed (which she thought was the exact reason why she should sleep on the couch). 

“We’re going out to get food, do you guys want anything?” Christ came wandering into the living room with Matt behind him. 

“No thanks, guys.”

“Nick?”

He shook his head, somewhat aggressively, and his brothers shrugged and left. Nick and y/n continued to watch whatever was on TV when Nick spoke up, “How do you notice and they don’t?”

“Hmm?”

“Matt and Chris. You always seem to know when something is wrong with me, or anyone of us, but when it comes to us three, we’re sort of oblivious.”

“Nick, I’m sure that’s not the case. How many times have you noticed something was wrong with one of them or somebody else and just haven’t said anything?”

The boy sat and thought for a moment before looking down, “A lot.”

“Yeah. I just decided to act on it, Nicky. They might just not know how to bring it up or what to say. Now, do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really but I should.”

“If you’re not ready, you don’t have to. I promise. I just want you to know that I am here for you if you ever want to. Whether that be tomorrow, next month, or in ten years. Whenever you need me, I’ll be there.”

“Okay.”

“Go ahead.”

“Can I have a hug?”

“Come here, you big oaf.”

Nick jumped on top of y/n and she let out a breath, “Jesus, Nick. Knocking the wind right outta me.”

He shied away, “I’m sorry.”

“Awe. Nick, it’s okay. I’m just joking with you, I’m sorry. Don’t worry about it.”

“Does it ever bother you that you can’t wear the clothes you used to?”

Y/n looked confused, “No? Is that what you’re worried about?”

Nick nods, “Nick it’s normal. Everyone has grown out of clothes before, whether it’s because they’re too big or too small, the clothes not you. And sometimes it’s a good thing, it means you’re growing. You think everyone can still wear what they did when they were super tiny? If we could, I’d still be wearing my ‘My Little Pony’ onesie.”

Nick giggled, “That makes me feel better. Thanks, y/n/n.”

“Anytime, Nicky.”

Only two minutes had passed since they finished their conversation when there was a loud knocking on her door, “Can you guys let us in, please?! The food is getting cold… and so are we!”

✧༺♥༻∞

3. Caroline

“her teacher’s about to unravel, her treatment is making her fragile”

Y/n was always mature from a small age. It started when she was in second grade when she accidentally overheard her teacher talking with another one about how she was going to be out for a little bit. OF course, she was curious, what second grader wouldn’t be curious when they heard their teacher was going to be out for a little bit? 

She tried to ignore the voice in the back of her head that was telling her to go out into the hallway and make her presence known but she couldn’t. She stepped out from behind the door and ran to give her a hug. 

“Oh! Y/n what are you doing out here, sweetheart?”

“I’m sorry, Miss. Walker.” Caroline, her teacher, furrowed her eyebrows until realization dawned on her, “Oh, you weren’t supposed to hear that.”

“It’s okay, Miss. Walker! My cousin had to get treatments too, I don’t remember what for, but she turned out okay so you will too!”

She sent the child a soft smile and then ushered her back to class. Ever since that day, y/n made it her mission to make her teacher feel better. She’d spend every minute not working on her homework working on something for her teacher. Whether it was making friendship bracelets with the help of her mom, or a simple card, or even an origami flower. 

Each day she’d walk into class with a new little project made for her teacher and place it on her desk or give it to her. Caroline was so grateful for the small girl, having a collection of little gifts from her. No one really understood, hell they were second graders, why she was bringing gifts for Caroline but they soon all wanted to do it. 

When Caroline left for the first time, the kids (especially y/n) were super upset. They left their gifts on her desk in the morning and the substitute teacher was in awe of how nice these kids were. Still, none of them knew the real reason Caroline was out except for y/n. 

When Caroline got back she saw all of the gifts in two baskets and burst out into tears. All the kids hugged her when they got to school that day and that was the first time y/n experienced maturity. Sure she was still an innocent child but she had this sense of adultness spread through her.

✧༺♥༻∞

1. Y/n

“she’s got exes on both her hands most Saturdays. Covers up with covergirl so no one knows her age, sacrificing every moral just to fit the shape, of a picture she’s dying to frame. Friends with almost anyone, a chameleon, only problem is she doesn’t like who she’s become, she’ll do anything to get the slightest bit of love, but it’s never enough. She blows the candles out but now it’s just formality, can’t celebrate under the pressure of society, another year at home alone with her anxiety, says goodbye to her company.”

Y/n had a ton of friends, lots of them from childhood who had stuck together by each other's side and a lot from high school and college as well. Though none of them ever realized what was happening to y/n.

They were never able to break down her walls enough to see the true her, they were never able to even get a vulnerable side of her. Sure, they had seen her cry here or there but she never talked about it afterward, never even made a mention of it. 

This was the same for birthdays and holidays. Everyone was always so obsessed with what her brothers were doing, how her brothers were doing, and who her brothers were with. She never got asked once ‘How was school y/n?’, ‘How is work going?’, ‘How are you?’

Even at her own birthday party, she was an outcast, both when she was younger and even now. When her friends would come over for her party they somehow always find a way to disclude her. Not that it was on purpose but to an eight-year-old, it was. 

As time went on she stopped having parties, much like other kids, but she didn’t even want to celebrate her birthday anymore. Her mother still made her family come over for a party, however. However, there was a pattern of outcasting the birthday girl. 

They all arrived, said a brief hello to the girl, and then wandered off to go catch ip with the rest of the family. Y/n sat in silence by her mom or helped in the kitchen while reading a book or listening to music. Her mom scolded her but she could see the reason why. No one was even trying to talk to her. 

It was almost as if she had to be in the room or near a conversation at the right time to even say a word. When they all sat down to eat dinner, y/n picked at her food listening to her cousins talk around her to her brothers. She eyed the ‘adult’ table from across the way and in some respects wished she was over there. At least she’d be quiet enough to fit in. 

When she was younger she’d have to open her gifts as the eyes of everyone fell on her. It was always the most awkward thing but her mother never let up and always made her open them. Though, when she got older she agreed to at least wait until the very end of the party. At least it was easier as it was typically just a card with some money or a gift card in it and then maybe a small bag with some socks or something along those lines. It was never anything huge.

When it was time to say goodbye she waved but never gave anyone a hug. They sat in the entrance talking forever before they finally left and y/n was left to clean up and eat whatever dessert was left over, which she couldn’t totally be mad about.

When her own family left her apartment, y/n was left alone with silence and her anxiety of waiting until next year to do it all over again.

“if only they knew, the heart-wrenching truth. and they don’t see”

#behindthelens #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you #nick sturniolo x you #nick sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #sister!reader #sturniolo triplets #Spotify #sunnylunespeaks #sunny lune writes #sunnylunebehindthelens

[alexthescaredenby]

i finished the KOSA

On the Subject of Safety 

Blaine/Alex Smith 

A paper on the harmful effects of the Kid’s Online Safety Act (informally known as KOSA) on the internet as a whole, as written by a minor. 

Censorship. Control. Tyranny. All of these will come to pass if we allow the Kids Online Safety Act (KOSA) to become law and cause the internet as we know it to cease to exist, completely and utterly. KOSA is a new bill that has been introduced by senators Blumenthal and Blackburn, which has the stated goal “to protect the safety of children on the internet” (found on the official website of the United States Congress, here.) This is either a lie, or an incredibly misguided attempt to do what it says it sets out to do. Though it is more likely a lie, or at the very least not the entire truth. First, I must note, if for no other reason than posterity and comprehensiveness, that the bill was introduced by both a Republican senator (Blackburn) and a Democratic senator (Blumenthal). It was also backed by twenty-one Democrats (Lujan, Baldwin, Klobuchar, Peters, Hickenlooper, Warner, Coons, Schatz, Murphy, Welch, Hassan, Durbin, Casey, Whitehouse, Kelly, Carper, Cardin, Menendez, Warren, Kaine, and Shaheen) and nineteen Republicans (Capito, Cassidy, Ernst, Daines, Rubio, Sullivan, Young, Grassley, Graham, Marshall, Hyde-Smith, Mullin, Risch, Britt, Lummis, Murkowski, Lankford, Crapo, and Hawley). That totals forty-two supporters of this heinous piece of legislature. Considering that there are one-hundred Senators, if you do some simple math, you will realize that fifty-eight Senators did not support KOSA. In the context of this monumental decision, that is a frighteningly close vote. If this bill were to pass, nearly all online fandom presence would be completely eradicated, and online privacy, as well as personal autonomy, would become nonexistent. And so, I say it again, KOSA supporters are just barely not the majority in the Senate, by a margin of sixteen individuals. Even though the rewrite of the bill is a slight improvement, at it’s core, KOSA is still a harmful internet censorship bill that will damage the very communities it claims to try protect. 

In this bill, a “child” is defined as any person under the age of thirteen, and a “minor” is defined as any person under the age of seventeen. A "parent” is defined as any legal adult who is the biological or adopted parent of a minor, or holds legal custody over a minor. “Compulsive usage” is defined as “any response stimulated by external factors that causes an individual to engage in repetitive behavior reasonably likely to cause psychological distress, loss of control, anxiety or depression”, “Covered platforms” are defined as “an online platform (i.e. Snapchat, Tumblr, Reddit, Twitter/X, Facebook, Instagram, etc.), online video game (i.e. Helldivers 2, Halo, Mario Kart, Civilization 6, etc.), messaging platform (i.e. Snapchat, 4chan, etc.), or video streaming service (i.e. Twitch, YouTube, etc.) that connects to the internet that is used, or is reasonably likely to be used, by a minor” with the exception of “an entity acting in its capacity of: a common carrier service subject to the Communications Act of 1934 (47 U.S.C. 151 et seq.) and all Acts amendatory thereof and supplementary thereto, a broadband internet access service (as such term is defined for purposes of section 8.1(b) of title 47, Code of Federal Regulations, or any successor regulation), an email service, a teleconferencing or video conferencing service that allows reception and transmission of audio and video signals for real-time communication, provided that it is not an online platform, including a social media service or social network; and the real-time communication is initiated using a unique link or identifier to facilitate access, or a wireless messaging service, including such a service provided through short messaging service or multimedia messaging service protocols, that is not a component of or linked to an online platform and where the predominant or exclusive function is direct messaging consisting of the transmission of text, photos or videos that are sent by electronic means, where messages are transmitted from the sender to a recipient, and are not posted within an online platform or publicly, an organization not organized to carry on business for its own profit or that of its members, any public or private institution of education, a library, a news platform where the inclusion of video content on the platform is related to the platform’s own gathering, reporting or publishing of news content or the website or app is not otherwise an online platform, a product or service the primarily functions as a business to business software or a VPN or similar service that exists solely to route internet traffic between locations. 

Geolocation is defined as “information sufficient to identify a street name and name of a city or town.” Individual-specific advertising to minors is defined as any form of targeted advertising towards a person who is or reasonably could be a minor, with the exception of advertising in the context of the website or app the advertising is present on, (i.e. an ad for Grammarly on a dictionary website), or for research on the effectiveness of the advertising. The rule of construction is stated to be that "no part of KOSA should be misconstrued to prohibit a lawfully operating entity from delivering content to any person that they know to be or reasonably believe is over the age of seventeen, provided that content is appropriate for the age of the person involved". To "know" something in the context of this bill is to have actual information, or to have information that is fairly implied or assumed under the basis of objective circumstances. A “mental health disorder” is defined as “a condition which causes a clinically significant disturbance or impairment on one’s cognition, emotional regulation, or behavior. “Online platform” is defined as any public platform that mainly provides a means of communication through the form of a public forum or private chatroom (i.e., Discord, Reddit, Tumblr, Twitter, TikTok, etc.). An “online video game” is defined as any video game or game-adjacent service, including those that provide an educational element, that allows users to create or upload content, engage in microtransactions, communicate with other users, or includes minor specific advertising (i.e., Happy Wheels, Adventure Academy, Meet Your Maker, etc.). “Personal data” is defined as any data or information that is linked or could reasonably be linked to a minor. A “personalized recommendation system (PRS)” is defined as any system that presents content to a user based on date and/or analytics from the user or similar users (i.e., a like-based system, a view-based system, a “for you” system, or a “people that watched also liked” system). Finally, “sexual exploitation or abuse” is defined as: coercion and enticement, as described in section 2422 of title 18, United States Code, child sexual abuse material, as described in sections 2251, 2252, 2252A, and 2260 of title 18, United States Code, trafficking for the production of images (child pornography), as described in section 2251A of title 18, United States Code, or sex trafficking of children, as described in section 1591 of title 18, United States Code. 

Before I continue with this paper, I would like to draw attention to the fact that nowhere in the defined terms does it define any form of physical, mental, or emotional violence towards minors, only sexual abuse or assault. This will become important later. 

Continuing with the bill, we arrive at the actual regulations, policies and laws proposed by the bill. Here begins Section 3 of the bill, or “Duty of care”. This section includes regulations on the online platform used by a minor, and the duties of it and its owner(s), creator(s), moderator(s), or manager(s). In this section, it is stated that a covered platform must, to the best of its reasonable ability, limit the following harms or dangers to any person who is known to be or reasonably believed to be a minor: 

Anxiety, depression, substance use disorders, suicidal disorders, and other similar conditions. 

Patterns of use that promote or encourage addiction-like behavior. 

Physical violence, online bullying, and harassment of the minor. 

Sexual exploitation or abuse. 

Promotion and marketing of narcotic drugs (as defined in section 102 of the Controlled Substances Act (21 U.S.C. 802)), tobacco products, gambling, or alcohol. 

Predatory, unfair, or deceptive marketing, or other financial harms. 

With the exception of: 

Any content that is deliberately, independently, and willingly requested or sought out by the minor. 

Any platform that provides resources or information to help mitigate the aforementioned harms to the minor. 

Again, I call attention to the fact that although physical violence is now mentioned and prohibited, it is done so by burying it in the middle of a wall of text. With as touchy of a subject as this is, one would think that more attention would be drawn to it. 

And now we get into the meat and potatoes of this rotten bill, with Section 4, or “Safeguards for minors”. In this section, it is stated that any covered platform shall provide any user who is known to be a minor or is reasonably believed to be a minor, with easy-to-use and readily accessible “safeguards” such as: 

Limiting the ability of other individuals to communicate with the minor. 

Restricting public access to the personal data of the minor. 

Limiting features that increase, sustain, or extend use of the covered platform by the minor, such as automatic playing of media, rewards for time spent on the platform, notifications, and other features that result in compulsive usage of the covered platform by the minor. 

Controlling personalized recommendation systems for the minor, and giving them the option to either opt out of the system entirely or to limit the types of content shown through the PRS. 

Restricting the sharing of GPS data of the minor sufficient for geolocation. 

As well as the options for the minor: 

Delete the account of the minor, as well as any data or content associated with the account, effectively removing any trace of the account’s existence from the platform, and the internet at large. 

Limit the amount of time spent on the platform. 

A covered platform shall also provide parents with the following tools: 

Requirements: 

The ability to manage a minor’s privacy and account settings, including the safeguards and options established under subsection (a), in a manner that allows parents to: 

View the privacy and account settings of the minor. 

In the case of a user that the platform knows is a child, change and control the privacy and account settings of the account of the minor. 

Restrict purchases and financial transactions by the minor, where applicable. 

View metrics of total time spent on the platform and restrict time spent on the covered platform by the minor. 

The bill also states that any minor(s) affected by the aforementioned systems should be given clear, prompt, and easily understood and accessible notice of if the systems have been applied, in what capacity they are applied in, and how they are applied.  

Default Tools: 

A covered platform shall provide the following tools and systems to both minor and parent(s) of that minor, and have them be enabled by default: 

A reporting mechanism, which is readily available and easily accessible and useable, to report any incidents or crimes involving the minor(s), as well as confirmation that such a report is received, and the means to track it. 

To respond to the report in a timely and appropriate manner, within a reasonable timeframe. 

An understanding and appreciation of the fact that a reasonable timeframe is: 

(A) 10 days (about 1 and a half weeks) after the receipt of a report, if, for the most recent calendar year, the platform averaged more than 10,000,000 active users monthly in the United States. 

(B) 21 days (about 3 weeks) after the receipt of a report, if, for the most recent calendar year, the platform averaged less than 10,000,000 active users monthly in the United States. 

(C) notwithstanding subparagraphs (A) and (B), if the report involves an imminent threat to the safety of a minor, as promptly as needed to address the reported threat to safety. 

Accessibility : 

With respect to the aforementioned safeguards, a covered platform shall provide: 

Information and control options in a clear and conspicuous manner that takes into consideration the differing ages, capacities, and developmental needs of the minors most likely to access the covered platform and does not encourage minors or parents to weaken or disable safeguards or parental controls. 

Readily accessible and easy-to-use controls to enable or disable safeguards or parental controls, as appropriate. 

Information and control options in the same language, form, and manner as the covered platform provides the product or service used by minors and their parents. 

The bill also states that no part of the previous statements should be construed to prohibit or prevent a covered platform from blocking, banning, filtering, flagging, or deleting content inappropriate for minors from their platform, or to prevent general management of spam, as well as security risks. It also states that regarding PRSs, it shall be illegal for a covered platform to alter or distort any analytics or data gathered from their platform with the purpose of limiting user autonomy. Also included in this section is that no part of KOSA shall be construed to require the disclosure of a minor’s personal data, including search history, contacts, messages, and location. Also stated is that a PRS for a minor is allowed under the condition that it only uses data publicly available, such as the language the minor speaks, or the minor’s age, and that covered platforms are allowed to integrate third-party systems into their platform, if they meet the requirements laid out in the bill. 

And now our train arrives at Section 5, “Disclosure”. This section includes rules regarding the disclosure of policies, rules, and terms to a user that is a minor or is reasonably believed to be a minor prior to their registration with a covered platform. 

Registration or Purchase: 

Prior to registration or purchase of a covered platform, the platform must provide clear and easily understood information on the policies of the platform, its rules, regulations, etc. As well as any PRS used by the platform, and information on how to turn it and the parental controls on and off. 

Notification: 

Notice and Acknowledgement, Reasonable Effort, and Consolidated Notices: 

In the case of an individual that a covered platform knows is a child, the platform shall additionally provide information about the parental tools and safeguards required under section 4 to a parent of the child and obtain verifiable parental consent (as defined in section 1302(9) of the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (15 U.S.C. 6501(9))) from the parent prior to the initial use of the covered platform by the child. 

A covered platform shall be deemed to have satisfied the requirement described in subparagraph (A) if the covered platform is in compliance with the requirements of the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (15 U.S.C. 6501 et seq.) to use reasonable efforts (taking into consideration available technology) to provide a parent with the information and to obtain verifiable parental consent as required. 

A covered platform may consolidate the process for providing information under this subsection and obtaining verifiable parental consent or the consent of the minor involved (as applicable) as required under this subsection with its obligations to provide relevant notice and obtain verifiable parental consent under the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (15 U.S.C. 6501 et seq.). 

Guidance: the FTC may assist covered platforms with compliance with the rules and regulations in this section. 

A covered platform that operates a personalized recommendation system shall set out in its terms and conditions, in a clear, conspicuous, and easy-to-understand manner: 

An overview of how such personalized recommendation system is used by the covered platform to provide information to users of the platform who are minors, including how such systems use the personal data of minors; and 

Information about options for minors or their parents to opt out of or control the personalized recommendation system (as applicable). 

Advertising and Marketing Information and Labels: 

A covered platform that facilitates advertising aimed at users that the platform knows are minors shall provide clear, conspicuous, and easy-to-understand information and labels to minors on advertisements regarding: 

The name of the product, service, or brand and the subject matter of an advertisement; 

If the covered platform engages in individual-specific advertising to minors, why a particular advertisement is directed to a specific minor, including material information about how the minor's personal data is used to direct the advertisement to the minor; and 

Whether media displayed to the minor is an advertisement or marketing material, including disclosure of endorsements of products, services, or brands made for commercial consideration by other users of the platform. 

Resources for Parents and Minors: 

A covered platform shall provide to minors and parents clear, conspicuous, easy-to-understand, and comprehensive information in a prominent location regarding: 

Its policies and practices with respect to personal data and safeguards for minors. 

How to access the safeguards and tools required under section four. 

Resources in Additional Languages: 

A covered platform shall ensure, to the extent practicable, that the disclosures required by this section are made available in the same language, form, and manner as the covered platform provides any product or service used by minors and their parents. 

That concludes Section 5, and now our next stop is Section 6: “Transparency”. This section includes protocols for public transparency for covered platforms, including public reports on the status of potential harm to minors on their platforms.  

Scope of Application: the requirements of this section shall apply to a covered platform if: 

For the most recent calendar year, the platform averaged more than 10,000,000 active users monthly in the United States. 

The platform predominantly provides a community forum for user-generated content and discussion, including sharing videos, images, games, audio files, discussion in a virtual setting, or other content, such as acting as a social media platform, virtual reality environment, or a social network service. 

Transparency: The public reports required of a covered platform under this section shall include: 

An assessment of the extent to which the platform is likely to be accessed by minors; 

A description of the commercial interests of the covered platform in use by minors; 

An accounting, based on the data held by the covered platform, of: 

The number of individuals using the covered platform reasonably believed to be minors in the United States; 

The median and mean amounts of time spent on the platform by minors in the United States who have accessed the platform during the reporting year on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis; and 

The amount of content being accessed by individuals that the platform knows to be minors that is in English, and the top 5 non-English languages used by individuals accessing the platform in the United States; 

An accounting of total reports received regarding, and the prevalence (which can be based on scientifically valid sampling methods using the content available to the covered platform in the normal course of business) of content related to, the harms described in section 3, disaggregated by category of harm and language, including English and the top five non-English languages used by individuals accessing the platform from the United States. 

A description of any material breaches of parental tools or assurances regarding minors, representations regarding the use of the personal data of minors, and other matters regarding non-compliance. 

Reasonably Foreseeable Risk of Harm to Minors: the public reports required of covered platforms under this section shall include: 

An assessment of the reasonably foreseeable risk of harm to minors posed by the covered platform, including identifying any other physical, mental, developmental, or financial harms. 

An assessment of how personalized recommendation systems and individual-specific advertising to minors can contribute to harm to minors. 

A description of whether and how the covered platform uses system design features that increase, sustain, or extend use of a product or service by a minor, such as automatic playing of media, rewards for time spent, and notifications. 

A description of whether, how, and for what purpose the platform collects or processes categories of personal data that may cause reasonably foreseeable risk of harm to minors. 

An evaluation of the efficacy of safeguards for minors under section 4, and any issues in delivering such safeguards and the associated parental tools. 

An evaluation of any other relevant matters of public concern over risk of harm to minors. 

 An assessment of differences in risk of harm to minors across different English and non-English languages and efficacy of safeguards in those languages. 

Mitigation: The public reports required of a covered platform under this section shall include, for English and the top 5 non-English languages used by individuals accessing the platform from the United States: 

A description of the safeguards and parental tools available to minors and parents on the covered platform. 

A description of interventions by the covered platform when it had or has reason to believe that harms to minors could occur. 

A description of the prevention and mitigation measures intended to be taken in response to the known and emerging risks identified in its assessment of system risks, including steps taken to: 

Prevent harm to minors, including adapting or removing system design features or addressing through parental controls. 

Provide the most protective level of control over privacy and safety by default. 

Adapt recommendation systems to mitigate reasonably foreseeable risk of harms to minors. 

A description of internal processes for handling reports and automated detection mechanisms for harms to minors, including the rate, timeliness, and effectiveness of responses. 

The status of implementing prevention and mitigation measures identified in prior assessments. 

A description of the additional measures to be taken by the covered platform to address the circumvention of safeguards for minors and parental tools. 

Reasonable Inspection: when conducting an inspection on the systemic risk of harm to minors on their platforms under this section, a covered platform shall: 

Consider the function any PRS on their platform. 

Consult relevant parties with authority on topics relevant to the inspection. 

Conduct their research based on experiences of minors using the platform that the study is being conducted on, including reports and information provided by law enforcement. 

Take account of outside research, but not outside data for the study itself. 

Consider any implied, indicated, inferred, or known information on the age of users. 

Consider the presence of both English and non-English speaking users on their platform. 

Cooperation With Independent, Third Pary Audit: To facilitate the report required by this section, a covered platform shall: 

Provide directly or otherwise make accessible to the third party conducting the audit all: 

Information and data that the platform has the access and authority to disclose that are relevant to the audit. 

Platforms, systems and assets that the platform has the access and authority to disclose that are relevant to the audio. 

Facts relevant to the audit, unaltered and correctly and fully represented. 

Privacy Safeguards: In this subsection, the term “de-identified” means data that does not identify and is not linked or reasonably linkable to a device that is linked or reasonably linkable to an individual, regardless of whether the information is aggregated. In issuing the public reports required under this section, a covered platform shall take steps to safeguard the privacy of its users, including ensuring that data is presented in a de-identified, aggregated format such that it is reasonably impossible for the data to be linked back to any individual user. A covered platform must also present or publish the information on a publicly available and accessible webpage. 

And now the next stop on our tour is Section 7: Independent Research on Social Media and Minors. This section details the interactions between the FTC and the National Academy of Sciences in the months following the passing of this bill, if and when it passes. It states that the FTC is to seek to enter a contract with the Academy, in which the Academy is to conduct no less that 5 separate independent scientific studies on the risk of harms to minors on social media, addressing: 

Anxiety, depression, eating and suicidal disorders. 

Substance use (drugs, narcotics, alcohol, etc.) and gambling. 

Sexual exploitation and abuse. 

Addiction like behaviors leading to compulsive usage. 

Additional Study: after at least 4 years since the passing of the bill, the FTC and the Academy shall enter another contract, in which the Academy shall conduct another study on the above topics, to provide more up to data information.  

Content of Reports: The comprehensive studies and reports conducted pursuant to this section shall seek to evaluate impacts and advance understanding, knowledge, and remedies regarding the harms to minors posed by social media and other online platforms and may include recommendations related to public policy. 

Active Studies: If the Academy is already engaged in any extant studies regarding the topics described above, it may base the studies required of this section off said study, if it is otherwise compliant. 

Collaboration: In conducting the studies required under this section, the FTC, National Academy of Sciences, and the Secretary of Health and Human Services shall consult with the Surgeon General and the Kids Online Safety Council (KOSC). 

Access to Data: The FTC may issue orders to covered platforms to gather and compile data and information needed for the studies required under this section, as well as issue orders under section 6(b) of the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 46(b)) to no more than 5 covered platforms per study under this section. Pursuant to subsections (b) and (f) of section 6 of the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 46), the FTC shall also enter in agreements with the National Academy to share appropriate information received from a covered platform pursuant to an order under such subsection (b) for a comprehensive study under this section in a confidential and secure manner, and to prohibit the disclosure or sharing of such information by the National Academy. 

Next is a short Section 8: Market Research.  

Market Research by Covered Platforms: The FTC, in consultation with the Secretary of Commerce, shall issue guidance for covered platforms seeking to conduct market- and product-focused research on minors. Such guidance shall include: 

A standard consent form that provides minors and their parents a clear, conspicuous, and easy-to-understand explanation of the scope and purpose of the research to be conducted, and provides an opportunity for informed consent in the language in which the parent uses the covered platform; and 

Recommendations for research practices for studies that may include minors, disaggregated by the age ranges of 0-5, 6-9, 10-12, and 13-16. 

The FTC shall issue such guidance no later than 18 months (about 1 and a half years) after the date of enactment of this Act. In doing so, they shall seek input from members of the public and the representatives of the KOSC established under section 12.  

As we pull off interstate 8 we come into Section 9: Age Verification Study and Report. This is where the writers evidently started pounding shots of tequila at their desks, as some of the regulations in this section are completely asinine. Here we are told about a mandatory age verification system. Gone will be the days of being born in 1427 as a kid, now our age will be known to any covered platform. Is that what you want? 

Study: The Director of the National Institute of Standards and Technology, in coordination with the FCC, FTC, and the SoC, shall conduct a study evaluating the most technologically feasible methods and options for developing systems to verify age at the device or operating system level. 

Such study shall consider: 

The benefits of creating a device or operating system level age verification system. 

What information may need to be collected to create this type of age verification system. 

The accuracy of such systems and their impact or steps to improve accessibility, including for individuals with disabilities. 

How such a system or systems could verify age while mitigating risks to user privacy and data security and safeguarding minors' personal data, emphasizing minimizing the amount of data collected and processed by covered platforms and age verification providers for such a system. 

The technical feasibility, including the need for potential hardware and software changes, including for devices currently in commerce and owned by consumers. 

The impact of different age verification systems on competition, particularly the risk of different age verification systems creating barriers to entry for small companies. 

Report: No later than 1 year after the passing of KOSA, the agencies described in subsection (a) shall submit a report containing the results of the study conducted under such subsection to the Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation of the Senate and the Committee on Energy and Commerce of the House of Representatives. 

Section 10: Guidance. 

No later than 18 months (about 1 and a half years) after the date of enactment of this Act, the FTC, in consultation with the KOSC established under section 12, shall issue guidance to: 

Provide information and examples for covered platforms and auditors regarding the following, with consideration given to differences across English and non-English languages: 

Identifying features used to increase, sustain, or extend use of the covered platform by a minor (compulsive usage). 

Safeguarding minors against the possible misuse of parental tools. 

Best practices in providing minors and parents the most protective level of control over privacy and safety. 

Using indicia or inferences of age of users for assessing use of the covered platform by minors. 

Methods for evaluating the efficacy of safeguards; and 

Providing additional control options that allow parents to address the harms described in section 3. 

Outline conduct that does not have the purpose or substantial effect of subverting or impairing user autonomy, decision-making, or choice, or of causing, increasing, or encouraging compulsive usage for a minor, such as: 

Minute user interface changes derived from testing consumer preferences, including different styles, layouts, or text, where such changes are not done with the purpose of weakening or disabling safeguards or parental controls, such as the following, are exceptions to this: 

Algorithms or data outputs outside the control of a covered platform. 

The establishing of default settings that provide enhanced privacy protection to users or otherwise enhance their autonomy and decision-making ability. 

Guidance to Schools: No later than 18 months (about 1 and a half years) after the date of enactment of this act, the SoE, in consultation with the FTC and the KOSC established under section 12, shall issue guidance to assist to assist elementary and secondary schools in using the notice, safeguards and tools provided under this Act and providing information on online safety for students and teachers. 

Guidance on Knowledge Standards: No later than 18 months (about 1 and a half years) after the date of enactment of this act, the FTC shall issue guidance to provide information, including best practices and examples, for covered platforms to understand the Commission’s determination of whether a covered platform “had knowledge fairly implied on the basis of objective circumstances” for purposes of this act. 

Limitation on FTC Guidance: No guidance issued by the FTC with respect to this act shall: 

Confer any rights on any person, State, or locality; or 

Operate to bind the FTC or any person to the approach recommended in such guidance. 

Enforcement Actions: In any enforcement action made to a covered platform in violation of this act, the FTC: 

Shall allege a violation of this act. 

May not base such enforcement action on, or execute a consent order based on, practices that are alleged to be inconsistent with guidance issued by the FTC with respect to this aact, unless the practices are alleged to violate a provision of this act. 

And now we’re almost on the home stretch, with Section 11, otherwise known as Enforcement. This section outlines, you guessed it, the enforcement of this act. 

Enforcement by the FTC: 

Unfair and Deceptive Acts or Practices: A violation of this act shall be treated as a violation of a rule defining an unfair or deceptive act or practice prescribed under section 18(a)(1)(B) of the Federal Trade Commission Act. 

Powers of the Commission: The FTC shall enforce this act in the same manner, by the same means, and with the same jurisdiction, powers, and duties as though all applicable terms and provisions of the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 41 et seq.) were incorporated into and made a part of this act. 

Privileges and Immunities: Any person that violates this act shall be subject to the penalties, and entitled to the privileges and immunities, provided in the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 41 et seq.). 

Authority Preserved: Nothing in this act shall be construed to limit the authority of the FTC under any other provision of law. 

Enforcement by State Attorney General: 

Civil Actions: In any case in which the attorney general of a State has reason to believe that an interest of the residents of that State has been or is threatened or adversely affected by the engagement of any person in a practice that violates this act, the State, as parens patrie (de facto parent of any citizens unable to defend themselves) , may bring a civil action on behalf of the residents of the State in a district court of the United States or a State court of appropriate jurisdiction to: 

Enjoin that practice. 

Enforce compliance with this act. 

On behalf of residents of the State, obtain damages, restitution, or other compensation, each of which shall be distributed in accordance with State law. 

Obtain such other relief as the court may consider to be appropriate. 

Notice: Before filing an action, the attorney general of the State involved shall provide to the Commission: 

Written notice of that action. 

A copy of the complaint for that action. 

Exemption: Clause (i) shall not apply with respect to the filing of an action by an attorney general of a State under this paragraph if the attorney general of the State determines that it is not feasible to provide the notice described in that clause before the filing of the action. 

Notification: In an action described in subclause (I), the attorney general of a State shall provide notice and a copy of the complaint to the Commission at the same time as the attorney general files the action. 

Intervention: On receiving notice, the Commission shall have the right to intervene in the action that is the notice's subject. 

Effect of Intervention: If the Commission intervenes in an action under paragraph (1), it shall have the right: 

To be heard with respect to any matter that arises in that action. 

To file a petition for appeal. 

Construction: For purposes of bringing any civil action under paragraph (1), nothing in this act shall be construed to prevent an attorney general of a State from exercising the powers conferred on the attorney general by the laws of that State to: 

Conduct investigations; 

Administer oaths or affirmations. 

Compel the attendance of witnesses or the production of documentary and other evidence. 

Actions by the Commission: In any case in which an action is instituted by or on behalf of the Commission for violation of this act, no State may, during the pendency of that action, institute a separate action under paragraph (1) against any defendant named in the complaint in the action instituted by or on behalf of the Commission for that violation. 

Venue; Service of Progress: 

Venue: Any action brought under paragraph (1) may be brought in either: 

The district court of the United States that meets applicable requirements relating to venue under section 1391 of title 28, United States Code. 

A State court of competent authority. 

Service of Progress: In an action brought under paragraph (1) in a district court of the United States, process may be served wherever the defendant: 

Is an inhabitant. 

May be found. 

And now we are going to hear about the Kids Online Safety Council we’ve been hearing so much about in the last few sections in Section 12: Kids Online Safety Council. 

Establishment: No later than 180 days (about 6 months) after the enactment date of this act, the Secretary of Commerce shall establish and convene the Kids Online Safety Council to provide advice on matters related to this act. 

The Kids Online Safety Council shall include diverse participation from: 

Academic experts, health professionals, and members of civil society with expertise in mental health, substance use disorders, and the prevention of harm to minors. 

Representatives in academia and civil society with specific expertise in privacy and civil liberties. 

Parents and youth representation. 

Representatives of covered platforms. 

Representatives of the NTIA, the NIST, the FTC, the DoJ, and the DHHS. 

(6) State attorneys general or their designees acting in State or local government. 

Educators. 

Representatives of communities of socially disadvantaged individuals (as defined in section 8 of the Small Business Act (15 U.S.C. 637)). 

Activities: The matters to be addressed by the Kids Online Safety Council shall include: 

Identifying emerging or current risks of harm to minors associated with online platforms. 

Recommending measures and methods for assessing, preventing, and mitigating harms to minors online. 

Recommending methods and themes for conducting research regarding online harms to minors, including in English and non-English languages. 

Recommending best practices and clear, consensus-based technical standards for transparency reports and audits, as required under this a ct, including methods, criteria, and scope to promote overall accountability. 

And now for Section 13, Filter Bubble Transparency Requirements. Almost to the end! 

Definitions: In this section: 

The term “algorithmic ranking system” means a computational process, including one derived from algorithmic decision-making, machine learning, statistical analysis, or other data processing or artificial intelligence techniques, used to determine the selection, order, relative prioritization, or relative prominence of content from a set of information that is provided to a user on a covered internet platform, including the ranking of search results, the provision of content recommendations, the display of social media posts, or any other method of automated content selection. 

The term “approximate geolocation information” means information that identifies the location of an individual, but with a precision of less than 5 miles. 

The term “Commission” means the Federal Trade Commission. 

The term “connected device” means an electronic device that: 

Can connect to the internet, either directly or indirectly through a network, to communicate information in the direction of an individual. 

Has computer processing capabilities for collecting, sending, receiving, or analyzing data. 

Is primarily designed for or marketed to consumers. 

Covered Internet Platform: The term “covered internet platform” means any public-facing website, internet application, or mobile application, including a social network site, video sharing service, search engine, or content aggregation service. Such term shall not include a platform that: 

Is wholly owned, controlled, and operated by a person that: 

For the most recent 6-month period, did not employ more than 500 employees. 

For the most recent 3-year period, averaged less than $50,000,000 in annual gross revenue. 

Collects or processes on an annual basis the user-specific data of less than 1,000,000 users (about the population of Delaware) or is operated for the sole purpose of conducting research that is not made for profit either directly or indirectly. 

Input Transparent Algorithm: The term “input-transparent algorithm” means an algorithmic ranking system that does not use the user-specific data of a user to determine the selection, order, relative prioritization, or relative prominence of information that is furnished to such user on a covered internet platform, unless the user-specific data is expressly provided to the platform by the user for such purpose. 

Data Provided for Express Purpose of Interaction with Platform For purposes of subparagraph (A), user-specific data that is provided by a user for the express purpose of determining the selection, order, relative prioritization, or relative prominence of information that is furnished to such user on a covered internet platform: 

Shall include user-supplied search terms, filters, speech patterns (if provided for the purpose of enabling the platform to accept spoken input or selecting the language in which the user interacts with the platform), saved preferences, and the current precise geolocation information that is supplied by the user. 

Shall include the user's current approximate geolocation information. 

Shall include data affirmatively supplied to the platform by the user that expresses the user's desire to receive particular information, such as the social media profiles the user follows, the video channels the user subscribes to, or other content or sources of content on the platform the user has selected. 

Shall NOT include the history of the user's connected device, including the user's history of web searches and browsing, previous geographical locations, physical activity, device interaction, and financial transactions. 

Shall NOT include inferences about the user or the user's connected device, without regard to whether such inferences are based on data described in clause (i) or (iii). 

Opaque Algorithm: The term “opaque algorithm” means an algorithmic ranking system that determines the selection, order, relative prioritization, or relative prominence of information that is furnished to such user on a covered internet platform based, in whole or part, on user-specific data that was not expressly provided by the user to the platform for such purpose. 

Exception for Age-Appropriate Content Filtering: Such term shall not include an algorithmic ranking system used by a covered internet platform if: 

The only user-specific data (including inferences about the user) that the system uses is information relating to the age of the user. 

Such information is only used to restrict a user's access to content on the basis that the individual is not old enough to access such content (i.e., not allowing a 13-year-old to access pornography). 

Precise Geolocation Information: The term “precise geolocation information” means geolocation information that identifies an individual’s location to within a range of 5 miles or less. 

Search Syndication Contract, Upstream Provider, Downstream Provider: 

The term “search syndication contract” means a contract or subcontract for the sale of, license of, or other right to access an index of web pages or search results on the internet for the purpose of operating an internet search engine. 

The term “upstream provider” means, with respect to a search syndication contract, the person that grants access to an index of web pages or search results on the internet to a downstream provider pursuant to the contract. 

The term “downstream provider” means, with respect to a search syndication contract, the person that receives access to an index of web pages on the internet from an upstream provider under such contract. 

User Specific Data: The term “user-specific data” means information relating to an individual or a specific connected device that would not necessarily be true of every individual or device. 

Requirement to Allow Users to View Unaltered Content on Internet Platforms: Beginning on the date that is 1 year after the date of enactment of this Act, it shall be illegal: 

For any person to operate a covered internet platform that uses an opaque algorithm unless the person complies with the opaque algorithm requirements. 

For any upstream provider to grant access to an index of web pages on the internet under a search syndication contract that does not comply with the requirements of paragraph (3). 

Opaque Algorithm Requirements: The requirements of this paragraph with respect to a person that operates a covered internet platform that uses an opaque algorithm are the following: 

The person provides notice to users of the platform: 

That the platform uses an opaque algorithm that uses user-specific data to select the content the user sees. Such notice shall be presented in a clear, conspicuous manner on the platform whenever the user interacts with an opaque algorithm for the first time and may be a one-time notice that can be dismissed by the user. 

In the terms and conditions of the covered internet platform, in a clear, accessible, and easily comprehensible manner to be updated no less frequently than once every 6 months: 

The most salient features, inputs, and parameters used by the algorithm. 

How any user-specific data used by the algorithm is collected or inferred about a user of the platform, and the categories of such data. 

Any options that the covered internet platform makes available for a user of the platform to opt out or exercise options under clause (ii), modify the profile of the user or to influence the features, inputs, or parameters used by the algorithm. 

Any quantities, such as time spent using a product or specific measures of engagement or social interaction, that the algorithm is designed to optimize, as well as a general description of the relative importance of each quantity for such ranking. 

The person makes available a version of the platform that uses an input-transparent algorithm and enables users to easily switch between the version of the platform that uses an opaque algorithm and the version of the platform that uses the input-transparent algorithm. 

Exceptions for Certain Downstream Providers: Subparagraph (A) shall not apply with respect to an internet search engine if: 

The search engine is operated by a downstream provider with fewer than 1,000 employees. 

The search engine uses an index of web pages on the internet to which such provider received access under a search syndication contract. 

Search Syndication Contract Requirements: The requirements of this paragraph with respect to a search syndication contract are that: 

As part of the contract, the upstream provider makes available to the downstream provider the same input-transparent algorithm used by the upstream provider for purposes of complying with paragraph (2)(A)(ii). 

The upstream provider does not impose any additional costs, degraded quality, reduced speed, or other constraint on the functioning of such algorithm when used by the downstream provider to operate an internet search engine relative to the performance of such algorithm when used by the upstream provider to operate an internet search engine. 

Prohibition on Differential Pricing: A covered internet platform shall not deny, charge different prices or rates for, or condition the provision of a service or product to an individual based on the individual’s election to use a version of the platform that uses an input-transparent algorithm as provided under paragraph (2)(A)(ii). 

Enforcement by FTC: 

Unfair or Deceptive Acts or Practices: A violation of this section by an operator of a covered internet platform shall be treated as a violation of a rule defining an unfair or deceptive act or practice prescribed under section 18(a)(1)(B) of the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 57a(a)(1)(B)). 

Powers of Commision: Except as provided in subparagraph (C), the FTC shall enforce this section in the same manner, by the same means, and with the same jurisdiction, powers, and duties as though all applicable terms and provisions of the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 41 et seq.) were incorporated into and made a part of this section. 

Privileges and Immunities: Except as provided in subparagraph (C), any person who violates this Act shall be subject to the penalties and entitled to the privileges and immunities provided in the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 41 et seq.). 

Common Carriers and Nonprofit Institutions: Notwithstanding section 4, 5(a)(2), or 6 of the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 44, 45(a)(2), 46) or any jurisdictional limitation of the Commission, the Commission shall also enforce this act, in the same manner provided in subparagraphs (A) and (B) of this paragraph, with respect to: 

Common carriers subject to the Communications Act of 1934 (47 U.S.C. 151 et seq.) and acts amendatory thereof and supplementary thereto 

Organizations are not organized to carry on business for their own profit or that of their members. 

Authority Preserved: Nothing in this section shall be construed to limit the authority of the Commission under any other provision of law. 

Rule of Application: Section 11 shall not apply to this section. 

Rule of Construction to Preserve Personal Blocks: Nothing in this section shall be construed to limit or prohibit a covered internet platform’s ability to, at the direction of an individual user or group of users, restrict another user from searching for, finding, accessing, or interacting with such user’s or group’s account, content, data, or online community. 

Skipping over Section 14, as it is incredibly short (don’t worry, it’s one line, and I’ll say it at the end), we arrive at Section 15, or “Rules of Construction and Other Matters”. 

Relationships to Other Laws: Nothing in this Act shall be construed to: 

Preempt section 444 of the General Education Provisions Act (20 U.S.C. 1232g (about 2.72 lb), commonly known as the “Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act of 1974”) or other Federal or State laws governing student privacy. 

Preempt the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act of 1998 (15 U.S.C. 6501 et seq.) or any rule or regulation promulgated under such Act. 

Authorize any action that would conflict with section 18(h) of the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 57a(h)). 

Fairly Implied on the Basis of Objective Circumstances: For purposes of enforcing this act, in making a determination as to whether covered platform has knowledge fairly implied on the basis of objective circumstances that a user is a minor, the FTC shall rely on competent and reliable empirical evidence, taking into account the totality of the circumstances, including consideration of whether the operator, using available technology, exercised reasonable care. 

Protections for Privacy: Nothing in this act shall be construed to require: 

The affirmative collection of any personal data with respect to the age of users that a covered platform is not already collecting in the normal course of business. 

A covered platform to implement an age gating or age verification functionality. 

Compliance: Nothing in this act shall be construed to restrict a covered platform's ability to: 

Cooperate with law enforcement agencies regarding activity that the covered platform reasonably and in good faith believes may violate Federal, State, or local laws, rules, or regulations. 

Comply with a civil, criminal, or regulatory inquiry or any investigation, subpoena, or summons by Federal, State, local, or other government authorities. 

Investigate, establish, exercise, respond to, or defend against legal claims. 

Application to Video Streaming Services: A video streaming service shall be deemed to be in compliance with this act if it predominantly consists of news, sports, entertainment, or other video programming content that is preselected by the provider and not user-generated, and: 

Any chat, comment, or interactive functionality is provided incidental to, directly related to, or dependent on provision of such content. 

If such video streaming service requires account owner registration and is not predominantly news or sports, the service includes the capability: 

To limit a minor’s access to the service, which may utilize a system of age-rating. 

To limit the automatic playing of on-demand content selected by a personalized recommendation system for an individual that the service knows is a minor. 

To provide an individual that the service knows is a minor with readily-accessible and easy-to-use options to delete an account held by the minor and delete any personal data collected from the minor on the service, or, in the case of a service that allows a parent to create a profile for a minor, to allow a parent to delete the minor’s profile, and to delete any personal data collected from the minor on the service. 

For a parent to manage a minor’s privacy and account settings, and restrict purchases and financial transactions by a minor, where applicable. 

To provide an electronic point of contact specific to matters described in this paragraph. 

To offer clear, conspicuous, and easy-to-understand notice of its policies and practices with respect to personal data and the capabilities described in this paragraph. 

When providing on-demand content, to employ measures that safeguard against serving advertising for narcotic drugs (as defined in section 102 of the Controlled Substances Act (21 U.S.C. 802)), tobacco products, gambling, or alcohol directly to the account or profile of an individual that the service knows is a minor. 

And finally, we arrive at Section 16, the last Section, combined with Section 14, which I glossed over earlier. If any part of this act is deemed obsolete, ineffective, or unnecessary at any point in time, it may be removed from the act without any effect to the rest of it. Unless otherwise specified, all regulations in this act shall come into effect 18 months (about 1 and a half years) after the passing of this bill. 

As you can see, this bill makes an impressive amount of sense, and if it were simply used as intended, it would be wonderful. However, because we can never have nice things, legislators, politicians, and the common public have twisted this bill, warping it to serve their selfish desires. Firstly, Senator Blackburn, one of the people behind this whole thing, blatantly said to a camera that she was going to “use KOSA to protect kids from the transgender in this culture.” With the queer community already under fire from all sides, this is the last thing they need, as all it does is further demonize them, and paint them as evil, pedophilic freaks to be feared and hated. A lot of regulations outlined in this bill also provide a concerning amount of control over the children it claims to protect, and it isn’t giving it to the child. It’s giving it to their parents. The adults who, as much as we hate to admit it, don’t always have the best interests of their children at heart. And what’s more, now the conservative Republicans care about people with disabilities, but it’s only when they’re trying to push a different marginalized group off the net. However, as soon as we try to do something as simple as mandating wheelchair ramps for all government buildings, they say “we don’t have the money for that!”. Okay, since obviously you don’t understand basic common sense Mr. Conservative, let me explain this for you: let’s say that KOSA will be fully enforced on every single website out of the over 1 BILLION that currently exist. Let’s say that about half of those comply fully willingly with KOSA, just for the benefit of the doubt. That still lives 500 million noncompliant websites. Let’s say that with legal proceedings and other costs, it would cost 500 dollars in USD per website to bring those websites into compliance. It would cost 250 BILLION dollars in USD to bring 500 million websites into compliance. Now let’s do some math on the wheelchair ramp problem, I’ll use small businesses as an example, since that’s the main subject of complaints on this topic. There are 33,185,550 small businesses registered in the United States. With the average cost per linear foot of concrete ramp being 225 dollars in USD, and saying that every small business has 2 doors that need ramps that are 1 linear foot, that means that every small business would have to pay 450 dollars in USD to make their businesses accessible. Every 3-5 years, you’ll want to reseal that concrete, costing about 3-5 dollars in USD per square foot. That means that a one time expense of 450 dollars to build the original ramps (on average, grossly oversimplified, but you get it), with an recurring cost every 3-5 years of a mere 6-10 dollars in USD. It would cost 4e-9% of what it would cost to enforce KOSA to make every registered small business in the US accessible. That is less than 1% of the money it would cost to enforce KOSA. 

This bill would also enforce a strict “no horny” policy on damn near every website that you can think of. And as much as we like to demonize and vilify them, sex workers, porn actors, and hentai artists are people too, and some of them make a living off what they do. By enacting KOSA, you are driving the lives of more than 2 million people (about the population of Nebraska) into the dirt. KOSA places the value of a child’s innocence over those lives. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am absolutely against child pornography and exposing small children to porn, but we shouldn’t lock down everyone's access to explicit content to preserve 22.1% of the US population’s childlike innocence. KOSA also can lock those children into abusive and dangerous conditions and make the lives of orphans a living hell. By giving the parents of minors total control over their child’s account, you are allowing them to lock down their lives, and expose these children to, at best, harmful misinformation, extremism, and general naivety, and at worst, physical abuse and/or death. That’s another 600,000 lives ground into the dirt under the boot of “safety”. And that little bit about “parens patrie”? That basically means that if you can’t defend yourself (i.e. are homeless, an orphan, etc.), the government is your parent now. Growing up with a faceless, nameless entity in place of any parental figure is NOT a healthy way for a child to live. Again, that’s another 2,823,104 human beings crushed by KOSA. In total, out of just the three categories of people I listed here, over 4,883,104 human beings, with lives, emotions, thoughts, joys and pains, are being royally screwed over by this absolutely horrid bill. 

 We as a society are better than this. Come on people. What memo did I miss that decided that we only need equality for some people? Instead of bickering amongst ourselves like children, we should work together and solve our problems! Isn’t that what we all want!? But no, instead we fight over our inviolable rights as human beings like toddlers over a shovel in the sandbox, instead of behaving like civilized people. And what’s worse, it paints anyone who doesn’t fit the perfect ideal of an American citizen in shades of evil, demonizing and alienating them even more than they already are. What the hell are we doing here? Instead of waving our bureaucracy around, we should get off the chair and do something about it. How many times have we done something without taking a risk? That’s right, NEVER. 

If we claim to be champions of equality, yet only desire it for ourselves, we are just as bad as those whose actions we decry. So please, dear reader, I beg of you. Stop KOSA, stop censorship, stop tyranny if you value this world at all. 

#fuck kosa #stop kosa #kosa #abuse #danger #politics #American politics

[maybeasunflower]

Star Trek theme tunes: worst to best

Star Trek’s many TV series each have an opening sequence that attempts to set up the viewer for the show ahead. A good theme tune delivers a high-quality piece of music that encapsulates the show’s essence — and it is on this basis that I’ve ranked the themes. What isn’t included in my ranking is anything about the graphics that accompany the music, nor the show itself. Naturally, these are all purely my personal opinions, so there can be no argument.

Let’s get started!

11: Enterprise

“It’s been a long road…” are five words that launched a lot of strong feelings — and rightly so. The jarring mismatch between everything about this song and everything Enterprise was about relegates this theme to the bottom of the heap. The opening graphics are spot-on for the show’s premise — but I never got to watch them because I needed to skip the music, and that makes me madder.

If you want to know what could have been, search YouTube for “Star Trek: Enterprise Opening Credits with Archer’s Theme”. That music is perfect for the show: slow, dramatic, building up for the big reveal. Then finish weeping / gnashing your teeth and come back here.

This theme also meant that we can never have a Star Trek theme with words again, ever, because we have been all primed to hate such things because of Enterprise — and that’s sad.

Imagine if we’d had a good theme with words that we could all sing at appropriate and inappropriate occasions.

10: The Animated Series

You’d forgotten about this series, hadn’t you? I will confess I haven’t watched any episodes (unlike the other ST series), but that doesn’t me having an opinion about the theme music. The jaunty theme music. The theme music that speaks of hijinks and hilarious consequences. The theme with super precise drumming — the perfect accompaniment as we join our hero sipping a cocktail in his usual bar by the beach.

Wait, this show is about space exploration?

9: Discovery

Open with Those Four Notes (good), wistful hunting call horns (good), build up to a climax (good), and then… umm…

What follows musically reminds me of Fringe (a great show that also involved Alex Kurtzman and Robert Orci as creators). Fringe was a show about the discovery of new scientific things (and the consequences thereof)— but Discovery is not. The stories of Discovery revolve around battling against various things. The main theme (minimalist repeated eighth note patterns with a slow-moving melody) simply doesn’t speak to premise of the show. It ends with the ascending “Star Trek motif”, but it just feels like something bolted on to end things.

This is a theme based on the title, not on the events in the show.

8: The Original Series

I’m going to get some flak for this, but I don’t care. Yes, The Original Series is sacred. Yes, this theme gave us Those Four Notes right at the start. Yes, it gave us the classic opening words. Yes, we must remember TV was different back then when judging TOS. But I’m ranking the music, and so that’s all that matters.

This is a show about exploring strange new worlds and going boldly. The music is not that. The music is about going somewhere on holiday in your 1960s convertible, or possibly going home from work for the weekly comedic capers. It’s not going boldly anywhere, it’s not exploring new worlds, and that’s final.

… I am going to get so much flak for this.

7: Picard

This is a theme unlike any other, but this a series unlike other, so that’s OK. The wistful main melody on solo cello works for the show and its premise. The theme then gets musically developed by other instruments in a musically satisfyingly way.

However, two-thirds (!) of the title graphics are consumed by the 137 producers, supervising producers, co-executive producers, executive producers, and producing producers — and it feels the music had to be extended by a good 30 seconds to cover them all. Like Discovery, it ends with ends with the ascending “Star Trek motif”, but it (just about) feels musically connected to what came before.

Overall, I am left with a very neutral opinion. There’s nothing that bad about this music, but nothing that makes it stand out.

It’s boringly OK.

6: Strange New Worlds

After the classic opening words, the dramatic bass line/repetitive strings/drums kick in, the music builds, everything’s set up for the main melody…. and what’s that? Well, you can’t hear that melody because the orchestration that gives it insufficient body, and the sound mix gives the accompanying dramatic bass line/repetitive strings/drums far too much prominence.

The overall structure is good — repeat the main melody with some extra oomph, transition to the B melody, build to a climax with some block chords, then bring every down nicely with the hunting horn call. It ticks all the boxes on (manuscript) paper — but the orchestration and mix just means I can’t enjoy it properly.

Give the melody some more body, turn the volume down on the rhythm section, and this theme would jump up a lot of places.

5: Deep Space 9

DS9 isn’t about going boldly anywhere, but it is still about dealing with dramatic, important things. The music has a stately beauty that reflects both those things. The opening lonely horn illustrates the emptiness of space, before being joined by more horns to build drama. Then the main melody kicks in over a minimal accompaniment, raising the hairs on the back of my neck. There’s a pedal note that sustains through most of the opening — so that when the bass finally moves, it makes for a dramatic conclusion.

Later seasons brought a new version that tried to punch up the excitement a notch by increasing the speed of the main melody and adding some more texture to the accompaniment — but at the cost of the stately beauty that is this theme’s best feature. Let’s ignore it.

The title sequence is about 30 seconds too long, which means the beauty has faded somewhat by the end. (Yes, the opening for Strange New Worlds is a similar length, but the music doesn’t kick in until after 30+ seconds).

Overall, a solid piece of music that aligns well with the show’s premise.

4: Lower Decks

Lower Decks is a show that is both 100% serious and 100% affectionate parody. It does everything any other Star Trek TV series does, while turning it up 11 in order to skewer those things. Musically, that’s a tough premise for a theme tune.

So what happens? We open with Those Four Notes, followed by hunting horn calls, then a dramatic main theme on trumpet that’s repeated on all the strings — followed by gear-changing chords into the real main theme. A theme that gets a full-bore orchestra with a melody on brass that descends like someone resigned to not doing first contact (no hopeful ascending motifs here!). Then a solid build-up brings it to a satisfying conclusion.

Like the show, this theme works both seriously and as affectionate parody.

3: Voyager

The show has a tension between “let’s get home as soon as possible” and “ooh, new alien planet to explore” — and the music reflects that.

The theme opens with muted trumpets on a lonely motif (plus timpani) at the start to bring a sense of the dramatic, but without wanting to shout too loudly about it in this unknown part of the galaxy. The main theme on the horns is repeated with added texture and followed by a B melody on strings. Both bring a sense of the long journey ahead, with an ebb and flow throughout.

A slow build-up is then followed by a gentle climb back down — then a rapid (and musically seamless) build up to an emphatic restatement of the opening motif, ringing out to remind us this isn’t just about skulking back to Earth.

Voyager may be headed for home, but it’s still boldly going new places.

2: The Next Generation

Whatever you feel about Star Trek: The Motion Picture, we can all thank it for this music. TNG opens with Those Four Notes on something ethereal, followed by the best delivery of the classic opening words (sorry Anson Mount!) with a hunting call on horns underneath—then we’re into music about exploring strange new worlds and going boldly. It’s going on an adventure — journeying to places unknown to find things unknown.

Structurally, it’s simpler than other themes: after the main melody on brass, we get the string-heavy B melody twice, then back to a shortened version of the main melody to end. However, the post-words music only takes up half the opening, and those two melodies have enough going on to sustain our interest.

You’re left excited about what’s going to happen this week— because we’re exploring, damnit.

1: Prodigy

Four chords build tension, launching into drums+ostinato that tell you right away that exciting things will be Going Down.

Dramatic trombone and bells set up a musical cadence that gets resolved into the start of the heart-stirring main melody soaring out on horns clearly over the accompaniment (take note, SNW). The main melody repeats with added trumpets, and transitions into the drum-less B melody on lush strings that tells you it’s also about the journey. Then bridge into a repeat with everything turned up a notch.

Things get a little chaotic for a moment (what else do you expect with this crew?), but it’s OK, because we’re back to those dramatic trombone and bells (plus friends) to bookend things and lead us into a final resolution… that leaves just enough going on afterwards to accompany Those Four Notes, as though that was the plan all along. Then spike the ending so there’s no doubt we’re done.

Perfect.

#Star trek #theme music #theme tune #star trek tos #star trek the animated series #star trek tng #the next generation #star trek ds9 #deep space nine #star trek voyager #voyager #star trek enterprise #enterprise #star trek discovery #discovery #star trek picard #picard #star trek lower decks #lower decks #star trek prodigy #prodigy

[zoomguanyu]

Ranking the Las Vegas Driver Lineup Show by how well the drivers BSed

I finally watched some of the Vegas pre show, particularly where the drivers were shown, and decided to rank them on how well the drivers pretended they cared.

These are all my opinion by the way and all screenshots were taken off shitty mobile YouTube. So enjoy the low quality attempt here.

10. Williams Racing

These two had a delayed start to their waving, and when they do start, they look like they can’t give a shit. Logan tries to keep some enthusiasm going by continuously waving while Alex stops, realizes he should try and match Logan’s energy, then changes his mind and stops waving. Absolutely hilarious.

9. Aston Martin

These two appeared on screen with their hands on their hips and the energy of a disappointed dads and kept that energy with half effort waves. Fernando didn’t even bother to smile which only adds to it, and Lance has the expression of “please help me.”

8. McLaren

Oscar looks like he’s half lost up there and Lando didn’t raise his hand any higher than his shoulders after the camera swung towards him. Like Aston Martin, they don’t hide that they don’t want to be there.

7. AlphaTauri

Yuki started waving then saw Daniel clapping and switched to clapping. Unbeknownst to him, Daniel changed to waving at the same time. Peak comedy.

6. Alfa Romeo

Guanyu began with the royalty wave by not moving his hand, only doing so when he saw Valtteri waving. Valtteri did go the extra effort to throw in both his hands as well as give a thumbs up.

5. Ferrari

These two were pretty good at their enthusiasm. Charles never stopped waving and Carlos made an effort to acknowledge the crowd all around them.

4. Red Bull

Checo played into it better than Max but both look a little dead inside. However they never stopped waving and they both turned together to acknowledge the crowd behind.

3. Mercedes

They may have not taken their eyes off the crowd in front of them, but they were the best at playing into the show with a smile that could fool the average person. Double points for starting their wave in sync.

2. Haas

The Haas boys know what classy looks like. Neither are over the top and they acknowledged the whole crowd together. They also got the furthest camera angle so it’s hard to see their expressions in full.

1. Alpine

These two waved and turned nearly in sync. They may not have the biggest smiles, but they were the most coordinated with their enthusiasm and looked like they cared.

#formula 1 #f1 #alex albon #logan sargeant #Fernando Alonso #Lance stroll #Oscar Piastri #Lando Norris #Yuki tsunoda #Daniel Ricciardo #valtteri bottas #zhou guanyu #Carlos Sainz jr #Charles leclerc #max Verstappen #sergio perez #Lewis Hamilton #George Russell #kevin magnussen #nico hulkenberg #pierre gasly #esteban ocon #las vegas gp 2023 #zoom zoom mfs

[greatwyrmgold]

Caramelldansen, the Disney Channel theme, & obfuscated authorship

Kevin Perjurer's Disney Channel's Theme: A History Mystery and jan Misali's who wrote Caramelldansen? feel like complimentary opposites.

Both are videos about the authorship of music that lots of people have heard but few people think about. But the similarities end there. (Aside from some fairly petty stuff like "both have iconic associated choreography, if the wand thing counts as choreography".)

Perjurer expresses frustration that, for all the artistry he puts into this and his other documentaries, he will be remembered as a YouTuber or a content creator, not a documentarian or a filmmaker. For all the work jan Misali puts into his craft, he embraces the fact that he makes YouTube videos. It's not easy to remix "Die Young" and "Hare Hare Yukai," but Misali did it...and what kind of documentary would have a 13-second title card in the middle with a mashup of a J-pop song and an A-pop song playing over it?

(Are American pop songs called A-pop? They should be.)

On a related note: Perjurer's documentary seems to have that tension as its primary theme. The tension between the effort and artistry that goes into something like the Disney Channel theme, and the disrespect it receives for not even qualifying as "low art". The primary theme of Misali's video seems to be more along the line of "It's worth remembering random facts about the world," expressed through his frustration at Remix Records, his frustration at how much Caramelldansen ("I would absolutely love to play the garbage Caramelldansen rhythm game!"), and the random facts he dug up while researching and chose to share for no other reason.

(There's a decent argument that who wrote Caramelldansen?'s primary theme is more along the lines of "'Caramelldansen''s original authorship is irrelevant, because the meme is what makes it 'Caramelldansen'," but that theme doesn't really appear outside the video's conclusion.)

Another stream-of-thought association: Perjurer has nothing but respect for the work of Alex Lasarenko, both his contributions to the Disney Channel theme and his broader work. Misali has nothing but shade to throw on the work of Giovanni Sconfienza, both his "contributions" to Caramelldansen and his broader work, and especially his attempts to take the Caramell out of Caramelldansen. I feel both of these are 100% justified, given context, but it's another interesting contrast!

Perjurer assumes that the audience will accept that the Disney Channel theme's importance is obvious to the viewer, and understand what made it so prominent. It was played on one of the biggest kid's TV networks of the 21st century! Misali focuses most of the video on why and how Caramelldansen rose to prominence, because for a lot of people it's just "that song that plays for ANIME LOL".

The obfuscation of the Disney Channel theme's authorship comes down to Disney being Disney and not saying anything about non-Disney people who make Disney Disney. (And, to be fair, broader industry trends.) The obfuscation of "Caramelldansen"'s authorship comes down to some rebranding done years after the fact. Misali is (I feel, rightfully) critical of [name]. Perjurer is (I feel, rightfully) respectful towards Alex Lasarenko and the music he directed/composed.

Most obviously: It takes months of research, correspondence, interviews, and so forth before Perjurer can figure out who wrote the Disney Channel Theme. Misali identifies Caramell as the creators of "Caramelldansen" in the opening seconds of the video. (Also, it's in the song's title.)

Now, you might reasonably wonder why I wrote this post, comparing two random YouTube video essays on similar topics. I'd like to provide some grand thesis statement that ties my conclusions and process into some statement about the nature of art. However, at the end of the day, this is more of a jan Misali post than a Kevin Perjurer one. But I think both would agree that this kind of little thing has merit. (Nowhere near enough to ask for their opinion or assume they'd have one, of course.)

#jan misali #defunctland #youtube #caramelldansen #disney channel theme #random thoughts #unusually random this time #video essays

[probablylia0]

How the pumpkin duo show’s love..?

Jschlatt 🐏

He probably wouldn’t be like hugging you and kissing you all the time. I just don’t think he’s very ‘handsy’.

He probably will show his love by buying you shit.

He’d go to the mall with you and he’ll see you eyeing something and he’ll write down the item name and shop in the notes app on his phone so he could order it later.

Imagine!! ⬇️

You were chilling in your office probably watching youtube or playing something and you decided to get up and go get something to eat. As you made your way to the kitchen, you heard Schlatt yell out to you. “Sugar! Can you come here real quick?” You yelled back, “Yeah! Give me a second!” You grabbed you favorite snack and made your made to his office. You peeked into his office and squeezed past the pope. He turned around and he handed you an amazon box and he handed your a knife so you could open it. “Um, thanks?” You turned around so you could head back to your office. “Wait! Open it here.” Schlatt yelled and kinda startled you. “Sorry- just open it here.” You were kinda suspicious of the mysterious box you had been handed but you sat on the floor in the middle of his office and you began to cut open the box. “You claim your so rich, but you cant even get a chair for me.” You complained as you finally got the box open but you at least got a chuckle out of Schlatt. You squealed as you pulled out a plushie you had been wanting for a while now. “Oh my gosh!!! I love you so much, thank you!!” You immediately got up and wrapped your arms around him bringing him into a tight embrace. He smiled and wrapped his arms around you as well. Schlatt loved giving you gifts. He adored seeing your face light up and you sweet smile. “Yea, yea..I love you too.” He muttered into your shoulder. No matter how tough he pretended to be he always had a soft spot for you.

Quackity🦆

He would definitely show his love by telling you and showing you!

He’d randomly text you “I love you😩✊” at like 3am.

Or you’d be standing by a counter, eating something and you’d feel a pair of arms wrap around you and you’d feel him leaning on you.

Imagine!⬇️

You had gotten bored and you began to play some Minecraft since you had free time. You were at least an hour in, before you heard your door open behind you. You assumed it was just Alex coming in to grab something. But then you felt him wrap his arms around you. “Hi..?” You chuckled and leaned your head against his. “Im tired.. come to bed…” Alex whined while attempting to pull you out of your chair. “Wait, let me save!” You chuckled and saved before getting up. As soon as you stood up Alex swooped you off your feet and carried you to your shared bedroom. He threw you on the bed and immediately began cuddling you. You smiled as you kissed Alex’s forehead and you wrapped your arms around him. “I love you Amor..” You heard him mutter as he pressed his face onto your chest. “I love you too.” You said back as you two laid there, in love.

#jschlatt #jschlatt x reader #schlatt #schlatt x reader #jschlatt fanfiction #quackity #quackity x reader #Quackity fanficion #pumpkinduo

[chaoticschiz]

my first animatic attempt! yaaayy!!! and it's brialex thing!!

idk should i post this on youtube or no.... maybe later

anyways here some of my hcs for them!!

I separate hoodie from brian. I think there's a lot of hoodie in mh cuz he was friends with tim longer than the others. so... yeah, hoodie knows what alex did and he tried to stop him from trying to hurt brian's friends, but alex didn't know that hoodie technically is not brian. So after his death, Alex is really mad at Brian:)

#marble hornets #brian thomas #alex kralie #mh #mh alex kralie #mh alex #brian mh #mh brian #mh brian thomas #slenderverse #brilex #brialex