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#alex is out here just like ‘i canNOT BELIEVE’
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I was always critical of Mouthpiece Political Alex but my fucking god Do Nothing Alex FUCKING SUCKS!!!!!
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ashintheairlikesnow · 7 months
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Okay so here, I think, is why I think Red, White and Royal Blue succeeds spectacularly as a romcom, and actually to me is a better-than-average take on the genre.
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First, the leads have absolutely scorching chemistry. They are incredibly believable as two men absolutely infatuated with each other. They each kiss like drowning men shown water, right down to how each grabs at the other, at hair or back or neck and face.
They each have developed their character having a specific characteristic even when flirting or kissing. Henry grabs Alex's hair, for example, every single time, in a way that makes it clear he spends serious time thinking about that hair.
Fair enough, Henry.
They also do something even goddamn better.
They are friends. They are believable as two people who could actually get along long enough to fall in love.
They are allowed to become FRIENDS.
They are given time to get to know each other before they get physical. You can feel their interest in each other growing. And, to my opinion, you can tell that Henry is feeling Alex out through texts to see if the interest might be reciprocated even though he thinks it can't possibly be.
One thing that kills me about romcoms is how the leads will have witty "sexy" banter but don't seem to actually like each other. They are enemies who fall into bed but aren't really believable as lovers.
Henry and Alex are believable, because they... Well. They're impossibly silly even when tearing at each other's clothes. They have awkward moments.
They laugh.
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Alex laughs in bed. He holds Henry in a way that is romantic, openly so. Henry is overcoming the conditioned hesitation and avoidance he has, his smiles and warmth and laughter come with rare vulnerability - Alex is a man who throws himself head first into life and has no such compunctions in the moment. He laughs because this is awesome and Jesus Christ, Prince Henry is too hot to be real.
They like each other, they stumble, they laugh.
But also, another reason this works so well?
The sex scene isn't scorching.
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Watching the sex scene felt realistically intimate. It felt like I had walked in one real people and needed to leave. It was intense in a way that felt like something I maybe wasn't meant to see.
It was filmed so well. So much romanticism and deeply felt adoration in a simple grasping of a hand, the look in soft eyes, a hand pressed against a back. The edge of a knee just in frame. Looking up and looking down.
It felt like we walked into their room during and saw them both laid utterly bare.
Henry's look of vulnerability and nerves and pleasure, Alex looking slowly over his face to take it all in. Moving slowly, then, when everything they do before this is hurried or hidden.
It works as a romcom because you believe 100% these two men could get to like each other, fall in love, and stay that way.
You believe Henry's very real terror of rejection from the public because he already knows his family, beyond his sister, will reject him. You believe that Alex is a headstrong idealist who is sure that you can bulldoze through any wall too tall to climb.
And you believe that between the two of them, they can find a way around the wall entirely.
This movie is a master class on how a movie can get you to suspend so much disbelief if the leads sell their characters. The importance of believable chemistry.
And also... Isn't it nice to see a queer love story in a world that is, in some ways, just a few shades better than our own?
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P.S. you cannot tell me Stephen Fry did not chew the goddamn scenery in circles all around everyone during his single scene. That man was having a ball.
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formulafics · 5 months
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★ BABY, JUST SAY YES | LS2
Scenario: its no secret that logan sargent isn’t single, but one thing that no one can quite figure out - not even his co workers - is who the mystery girl is. logan doesn’t reveal who until she’s no longer his girlfriend, but his wife. (requested)
Pairing: logan sargeant x fem!popstar!reader
A/N: it’s taken me 4 days of writers block to get this one figured out, but she is finally here! i hope everyone enjoys! <3
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logansargeant
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liked by alex_albon, oscarpiastri, and 233,567 others
logansargeant the flight is always worth it to be with her
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sargeantformula another day, another soft launch from logan 😔 when does the pain end?
logansgirl HE LOOKS SO GOOD
formulogan so either logan plays guitar or his gf plays guitar 🧐
⤷ norizzlando i thought that i could figure out something by looking at the music sheets but it’s beatles songs, and i doubt logan is dating paul mccartney
⤷ alexalbonooo23 STOP IT FHIS COMMENT IS KILLING ME 😭 “i doubt logan is dating paul mccartney”
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logansargeant
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liked by oscarpiastri, alex_albon, maxverstappen1, and 356,789 others
logansargeant summer dump
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alex_albon getting a little to close to using @/georgerussels tactics
rizzciardo logan pls just tell us who it is 😔 do it for your fans
⤷ norrisnation DO IT FOR AMERICA
formulaobssesed why is logan kinda…
⤷ sargeantformula YOURE JUST LEARNING THIS? HES BEEN FINE
sargeantnation THE FIRST PICTURE HELLO YOU LOOK SO GOOD
ls2sargeant okay, but WHO is in the second picture? 😭
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logansargeant
in love
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liked by alex_albon, lilymhe, oscarpiastri, and 124,678 others
logansargeant
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formulanorris the location being “in love” is sickening
⤷ piastrizz no literally i want want what him and his gf have
williamillion ITS NOT FUNNY ANYMORE LOGAN
godblessls2 boy if you don’t just drop her @ rn
loscargirlie logan you wanna drop her @ sooooo bad rn
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logansargeant and ynlnsargeant
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liked by alex_albon, oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 467,892 others
logansargeant so glad my baby said yes. happy one year, my beautiful girl.
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ynsworld LOGAN IN RHE MIDDLE OF YNA FUCK I G CONCERT???
oscarpiastri happy anniversary ❤️
⤷ rizzciardo loscar crumbs 🥹 i love them
alex_albon happy anniversary! love you guys.
formulasargeant LOGAN WHAT????
piastrizz LOGAN HUNTER SARGEANT I SWEAR TO GOD
ynfannacc the caption. not okay, young man.
⤷ godblessls2 LMAOO THIS COMMENT IS SO FUNNY FOR NO REASON
rizzciardo the mesh of logan and yn fans in the comments is so funny to me 😭
loscargirlie I KNOW I BEGGED YOU MULTIPLE TIMES TO DROP THE @ BUT COME ON LOGAN
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ynlnsargeant
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liked by logansargeant, lewishamilton, alex_albon, landonorris, and 789,367 others
ynlnsargeant what a night. thank you to everyone who came out tonight, i am so grateful for your support. on a side note, happy anniversary to my love, @/logansargeant. one year down, forever to go. 🫶🏻
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logansargeant i love you so much baby.
⤷ ynlnsargeant i love you more. thanks for coming out tonight ❤️
ynsguitar the end of an era - she changed her username
⤷ ynloverforlife ITS SO CUTE 😭 she and logan are actually so cute together i can’t even be sad
ynsworld simultaneously extremely happy for you and feeling like my heart has been ripped out. ilysm </3
ynsnumberone i cannot believe i witnessed this kiss in real time
⤷ formulasargeant i have no idea how you survived because me personally? that would be the end
danielricciardo NO WAY. happy anniversary!
⤷ rizzciardo DANIEL WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE LMAO
⤷ sargeantformula apparently only oscar, lando, and alex knew about their relationship. oscar was the only one who went to the wedding 💔 (not to mention daniel has always liked yn’s music)
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all feedback is appreciated! thank you for reading <3 - daelynn
general taglist | @renarots (special shoutout to her for always fueling the brainrot for these fics) @jsjcue @treehouse-mouse @harrysdimple05 @illicitverstappen @lovstappen @minkyungseokie
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bystarlightlore · 7 months
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first things first: my boys are so touchy & affectionate with each other & it's the cutest, most adorable thing on planet earth.
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i die.
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moving on...
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sweet alex, he’s all heart. prattling along, just as happy as he can be. 
it’s integral to watch our sunshine boy in this scene. 
the book & film are both from alex’s perspective, but there’s one thing that we’re afforded between the pages that doesn’t fully make it on screen — his emotional & cognitive layers. & that’s not anybody’s fault & it doesn’t make the film any less incredible, that’s just how adaptations occur sometimes. you can’t translate everything on screen & honestly, that’s the way it should be. some things can just stay in the written story.
tzp did a marvelous job of pulling some of those pieces from the story & threading them into alex’s movements, expressions, & actions. he gave us everything that he could & he did it phenomenally. i can’t imagine anyone else being our alex. i can’t get over how perfectly he was casted.
all this to reiterate, it’s so key to watch alex here.
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we get to see some of his layers. he goes from playful, to pensive, to deeply sincere — “i’ve never felt this way about anyone” — & from there, he shifts into an incredibly exposed emotional space & you see him gather himself, working through his words & trying to share his heart in the most fluent way he can.
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“it’s like there’s a rope attached to my chest & it keeps pulling me towards you.”
there’s never been a moment in his life where can’t share exactly how he feels. he’s always been free to do so. for alex, there was never a question about if he’d tell henry, the question was what he’d tell henry, & once he solved the what, he could proceed with the when. 
his mom asked if he felt ‘forever’ about henry & he didn’t consciously know at the time. (i’m a firm believer in the fact that they’ve been in love all along but that’s not the topic right now.) he watches henry in the bar & that’s where he figures it out. the next step is to tell him. point a to b. no detours. 
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“& it feels so right”
all heart, all the time. our sunshine boy.
i don’t see fear here, i rarely do in alex, but i do see timidity. so with our eyes on him in this scene, we watch him waffle through his words, barreling toward the inevitable.
he stays in physical contact with henry the entire time — running his hands along his forearm, tangling their fingers together, tracing circles on henry’s wrist & back. i think he needs it here just as much as he wants it.
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the most that alex has ever discovered & understood about himself has been through touching henry. he knows himself best when he’s skin-to-skin with the man he loves.
this moment cannot be any different.
—- “what i mean to say is, henry, i—“ 
i’d give anything to hear it come out of his mouth fully here. i want to know how it sounds under the texas sun — someplace as bright & warm as he is.
alex has never had to fear his own heart; even in the moments where he wasn't sure where it was going. after the NYE kiss, he went to nora to grapple with his feelings & he tried to talk to henry about it, but he never, ever shied away from how he felt. he wasn't raised to. following that giant, gorgeous heart is in his nature. he's always been encouraged to be exactly who he is.
the same cannot be said for our prince.
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our mythic, beautiful boy. he literally looks like he's crumbling here. mournful, finite cracks in his glistening, alabaster stone. an absolute masterpiece withered by expectation, tainted legacies, hopeless hopes, & crippling fears.
he has to shy away. he doesn't believe or even entertain the idea that he might have a choice. to be so in love, but so trapped that your love can tangle its roots into the earth, but never bloom.
distance & longing take up far too much space in those stunning hazel eyes. it's all too much for him here. no fight or fawn, just freeze and flight. he did it all in expression: from pure bliss, to the dawn of fear, to desperate wanting, to heartbreak, to retreat. (nicholas galitzine, you wonderfully gifted creature)
in our prince’s head, it doesn’t matter how bad he wants to hear the words. it doesn’t matter if he’s loved alex & wanted alex all this time. his heart — their hearts — are of no consequence to the trajectory of their lives. & so, despite all this time; despite everything that’s passed between them in the past year — the firsts & the tender moments, the texts, calls, & emails, the falling in love — henry does the one thing he’s always had to do, lock himself up & run away. just like he did on new year’s eve.
alex has spent a year working him loose; making him feel as free & loved & authentic as he possibly can. he’s kneaded every tight curve, massaged every tensioned inch. & henry has put in the same amount of work learning to allow himself to be cared for. for someone to see his bright places, his passions, his wittiness, tenacity, & sparks.
our boys have grown so much & yet sadly, in a moment, terror bends henry back into an ill -fitting place.
the progress isn’t lost, just tucked away. fear is one hell of a keeper.
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& you see him dressed up again in his suit. ramrod straight, prim & proper, the closed-off prince of england’s hearts that climbed out of his car to meet alex at kensington a year ago. a man of few words & little feeling. because there’s too much risk in feeling. feeling leads you to a dock in the middle of the lake in texas, listening to the man you love willing & ready to love you back, but you can’t be overjoyed — because you’re terrified.
grab your tissues, kids. im sure as hell grabbing mine.
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povlnfour · 5 months
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ PADDOCK TO PADDOCK (LN) PART 3
series masterlist | prev part | next part
lando norris x fem!horse rider!reader
yourusername just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚
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liked by landonorris, flo_norris_showjumping and 210,331 others
yourusername i CANNOT BELIEVE i am writing this post😭 so so so insanely excited to announce that mr. bean and i have qualified for paris 2024!!!!! we have an insane year of training ahead of us, but i could not be happier. thank you to every single person who made this possible. i’m gonna go cry now. maybe get drunk. WE ARE OLYMPIANS BABY‼️
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user6 OH MY GODDDD Y/N CONGRATULATIONS
user3 omg i’m officially an olympian stan
flo_norris_showjumping AHHHHH y/n congrats!!! knew you could do it from the first time i met you🫶
yourusername i miss you crazy girl, let’s meet soon!
flo_norris_showjumping @/yourusername i’m sure you’ll be at family dinners soon enough🤪
lilymhe ALEX AND I JUST BURST INTO TEARS THATS OUR BABY!!!!!
user1 omg mr. bean is a living legend
charles_leclerc congratulations, friend!
user5 CHARLESSSS🥹
yourusername thank you charles!❤️
user8 i love how y/n changes the colour of her hearts based on the drivers’ team😭
landonorris guess i’ll meet him now he’s an olympian🙄 congrats though, y/n/n🧡
yourusername posted stories ੈ✩‧₊˚
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twitter reacts ੈ✩‧₊˚
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landonorris posted stories ੈ✩‧₊˚
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f1updates just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚
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f1updates lando norris and y/n y/l/n snapped cosying up on holiday to celebrate y/n’s olympic qualification👀 the duo were joined by alex albon and lily he as they played around in the water. couples holiday, perhaps?
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user7 please just let them figure this out on their own terms
user1 oh guys we’ve lost him. he’s whipped
user3 HIS HANDS ON HER KNEES!!! WHEN WILL THAT BE ME
user4 no fr that photo SCREAMS couple👀
landonorris just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚
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liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri and 218,119 others
landonorris back to work and another p2 baby!!!!
👤 tagged alex_albon
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user3 so proud of you🥹
lilymhe mom and dad? @/yourusername
yourusername a plot twist i didn’t see coming…
user1 soooo mr. norris are we gonna talk abt those photos
yourusername was gonna call u cute then saw what u texted me🙄
user5 expose him queen
landonorris i take it back pls give me praise
yourusername @/landonorris fine🙄 ur cute ig
landonorris @/yourusername 🥰🥰🥰
mclaren posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚
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liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri and 90,461 others
mclaren belgium race weekend! who’s excited?🧡
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user11 LETS GO AGAIN‼️
yourusername ME ME ME IM EXCITED MCLAREN!!!!
liked by landonorris
mclaren we 🧡 you!
user3 she’s such a fangirl this is not what i had on my 2023 bingo card😭
f1updates posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚
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f1updates lando norris’ rumoured girlfriend y/n y/l/n seen leaving the belgian grand prix EARLY. sources say she seemed tense all morning, and left the mclaren area for williams mid way through the practice sessions yesterday👀
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user9 finally😍
user1 ur awful. get a life?
user3 no but she was so excited :( why would she leave early?
user7 f1updates get out of everyone’s business challenge
user1 she looks tired :/
user4 read a source that said she and lando were seen having a ‘heated conversation’ earlier :(
yourusername posted a story ੈ✩‧₊˚
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a/n: that’s it for part 3!!! cute holiday and then boom. angst???? gonna have to come back to find out what happens👀
get added to the taglist here
- giselle xx
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agendabymooner · 6 months
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MASTERLIST: A-N F1 DRIVERS by agendabymooner
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LINK TO MASTERLIST: O-Z F1 DRIVERS by agendabymooner
LINK TO SOMETHING SINFUL (SMUT) MASTERLIST by agendabymooner (MINORS DNI)
note: I CANNOT OFFICIALLY FIT MY WORKS IN ONE POST 😭 so here is my alphabetical f1 masterlist!!!
legends/genre:
a = angst g = general fic hc = hurt/comfort h = humour
s = smut (minors, dni) mc = mature content (minors, dni) f = fluff
★ - newly added ♡ - favourite piece
ALSO CHECK OUT:
MOONY'S CHARACTER DIRECTORY
MOONY'S FILIPINO CHARACTERS DIRECTORY
alex albon (aa23)
front page lover (thai!kpop idol!ofc)
keeper, smau: polly berkshire has obscure interactions with her thirsty boyfriend and it's safe to say that they love each other.
fashion week, smau: the williams driver and polly always got something for everyone to talk about.
double aa, socmed snapshot: a series of instagram stories in which alex is a dad to alice albon
fernando alonso (fa14)
the breakup and makeup series (pro wrestler!ofc)
time to rock and roll, fic: the first time beatrice staedtlander and fernando alonso had broken up. (hc) ♡
heaven, smau: back in 2000s, fernando alonso and beatrice anastasia 'trish' staedtlander were every racing and wrestling fans' couple. years after, trish alonso became a mother and a wife... and the grid's crush of the season. fernando was certainly not happy so what's a better way to remind everyone that he was hers? (f, g, h)
from the ground up, smau: tino and tiago alonso were the twins that trish had given birth to at the age of 40, and everyone understood now why she didn't make it to the 2024 canadian gp. (f)
look what god gave her, smau: beatrice 'trish' alonso survived fernando's messy image better than anybody did. (f, g, h)
bonnie and the fame
maneater, smau: bonnie catherine sutton was carlos sainz's ex-girlfriend who returned to the f1 scene as a different woman. turns out, she's fernando alonso's fiancée (f)
ego, smau: never underestimate a woman's self-esteem, it might end up wounding you more than it would her.
oliver bearman (ob8)
ice ice baby, smau: kimi raikkonen's daughter romania raikkonen debuted in formula one with her friends AND it's safe to say that the iceman doesn't like ollie that much.
jenson button (jb22)
pride and pettiness (x british!actress!ofc)
one, 2004: in which, ada and jenson met for the first time.
the mr. darcy type, smau: much like the popular love interest, jenson should have known better than to say things that wouldn't impress a woman he grew interested in. OR ada abbott made sure that he worked hard for her time and attention. (f) ♡
shunt the hell up! (x hunt!driver!ofc)
shunt your lovers, kiss your enemies. smau: it was funny how enemies can be your teammate AND your lover at the same time. OR jj hunt, the daughter of the late james hunt, was jenson's biggest rival until a certain baby predicament cost her her entire racing career. (g) ♡
other works
affection, blurb: in which, jenson learned that he should just say it without being a little too drunk.
pierre gasly (pg10)
newsflash, smau: ensley soleil doesn’t like playboys. too bad, pierre gasly’s down bad for her (attention and love). (f, g, h)
odds, fic: their timing was always wrong, maybe that's why pierre should consider making it even for the two of them as she writes songs about him and their courtship. ★
lowkey, smau: fans thought that pierre moved on from ensley four months after publicly declaring his (love?) for her. funnily enough... (f, g, h)
indigo, chatfic + smau: there's really no reason for pierre gasly to be jealous over some man that ensley wrote 'high school in jakarta' about. not when she wrote one or more songs about the frenchman. (f) ♡
high school in jakarta, fic: meeting ensley’s close friends would also mean that he’d have to meet her high school sweetheart, who he believed he couldn’t compete against until ensley ensured that his two-day attendance wouldn’t be spoiled by some guy who couldn’t let go of some memories she couldn’t even remember. ♡ 
dancing with the devil, smau: ensley soleil doesn't care about what people are saying about her relationship with pierre especially now that she's married to him. (f)
vintage, smau: pierre gasly is a husband and a fanboy of ensley soleil gasly amongst other things. (f)
hot dad era, socmed snapshot: pierre gasly. 30% f1 driver 70% dilf. ★
other works
do i make you nervous, blurb: lesson learned: just date her first rather than being friendly in the bed.
lewis hamilton (lh44)
stevie and lewis (hearth sister!ofc)
thick and thin, smau + fic: lewis should know better than underestimating her and her capabilities to yearn for him for years. (hc)
hands on and paws on, socmed snapshot: lewis is a stay-at-home dad to lottie hamilton and his best boy, roscoe, happens to watch his mummys everywhere she goes as she carries baby hamilton #2. ★
the hamilton daycare, fic: lewis is already a stay-at-home dad so what makes his day out in monaco with his two kids any different? (f) (2/3 of daddy, debriefed!)
where the bad girls are (kpop idol!ofc)
lifted, smau: lewis is married to a kpop idol who happened to be one of the girls to shape the image of female groups in the korean pop community.
crowned couple (x miss universe!ofc)
the couple of the universe, smau: lewis is a careless being this season and everyone's wondering why.
melody series (x performer!ofc)
summary: with her sharp eyes focused on her audience, a burlesque performer who went under the name of melody returned to rythme romantique, an entertainment lounge which exclusively caters to the wealthiest people of monaco — or in this case, to the people with a status that are recognized by all. her three exclusive performances were meant to be a closure for her connections in the principality. still, a certain formula one driver saw it as an opportunity to reconnect with his former flame after two years of her absence. felicity vos learned that this was a rich man’s world and that he could do whatever he wanted, but she also realized that the agreement they settled on years ago was corrupted the moment he expressed his love for her. 
one, million dollar man: monaco was a world of glitz and glamour that she left two years ago. returning to the principality clearly was a huge mistake as she found herself talking to the man who swore to nothing but his love for her.
two, this is what makes us girls: "decorum isn't something you can buy with money or fame." or what did lewis really want from her and why did he show up on the second night of her performance?
arthur leclerc (al12)
the scheming schumachers, smau: sunny schumacher is mick's cousin and what does a family do? they attract arthur leclerc to get him away from his best friend, who happens to be mick's girlfriend. thankfully, the schumacher cousin is something of a welcome distraction for the monegasque.
charles leclerc (cl16)
the leclerc boys series (x hearth sister!ofc)
debunking drama, smau: prequel to of long lines and names; aimee hearth, the mclaren media manager and one of the famous hearth sisters, was rumoured to be dating lando norris. a certain monegasque's baffled reaction became a trending topic in twitter as he counteracts the rumour with an instagram post of his lover. (f, h)
of long lines and names, fic: five kids with (almost) five names under six years. OR the three pregnancies that charles had witnessed told him how motherhood and memories could come in two sets of twins and a boy that looked so much like him. (f)
the leclerc daycare, fic: before his last set of twins were born, charles had to watch his boys on his own- not exactly by himself when he's got esteban and pierre acting as his right hand men. (f) (1/3 of daddy, debriefed!) ♡
about names, scenario fics
summary: extension to of long lines and names and the leclerc daycare; charles and aimee's boys and their names go hand in hand OR times when the couple had to tell their kids that their names were signs of love and respect for their namesakes.
one, an amazing boy with an amazing name: hervé's anger left his parents confused after he refused to be called by his first name. thankfully, his mamé pascale had an easy access to his heart that eventually led to an answer to his sadness.
two, the wingman of maranello: jules leclerc learned two things as he travelled to italy with his father: he had an uncle named uncle teague and uncle teague had a best friend that was once charles' godfather.
other pieces
"slut", smau: charles' ex trashed his new girlfriend a while ago, but too bad he wasn't really into the thought of making music with anyone but lou villar.
breaking curses not hearts, smau: frankie bardot atkinson was also known for her curse in the film industry. after breaking her long streaked curse and finally won an oscar, was it finally charles' time to break his curse at monza gp?
kevin magnussen (km20)
family ties, smau: lando norris forgot that his brother-in-law is in the grid with him and lola norris magnussen couldn't help but make of her brother for it.
lando norris (ln4)
lover era (x alessandro sister!writer!ofc)
london boy, smau: nicola 'cola' alessandro moved to britain and what's a better way to introduce yourself to england than taking a trip around with a certain mclaren driver? (f, g, h)
i think he knows, smau: grazia nichols published her debut novel based off formula one, and a fan could have sworn that the the book bf - nolan langford - was based off of lando's character as a driver altogether. (f, g, h)
✿ honey, honey! series masterlist - lando norris x ofc (honey-sue lewis) ft. sidemen ★
f1 drivers (general)
✿ 9 to 5 series masterlist - f1 grid x ofc (lester alessandro) ft. fictional wolff kids
too much caring, smau, sv5 + jb22: kpop idol juno was assumed to have cheated on retired driver jenson button with his best mate sebastian vettel. oh how wrong those people were... ★
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panelshowsource · 4 months
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i’d love to know, what are some panel show moments you think about a lot?
omg like just off the top of my head?
just the whole episode of cats after jimmy's tax avoidance scandal
"good evening your majesty you tax-dodging bitch"
david mumbling "chancellor of the exchequer" in small font
when the horne section was doing macarena on catsdown and the rose was so limp WHY WAS IT SO LIMP
the greatest breath smeller game
"this makes me so angry because they wouldn't show the clip of me attacking my mother with a taser! i thought it was really funny!"
josh groban being an absolute wizard at singing intros followed by martin freeman being an absolute wizard at guessing them to the point production asked him to slow down giving the answer because he was too good
when stacey solomon said she likes teresa may and jimmy carr, gino d'acampo, and carol vorderman were absolutely speechless
alex’s reaction after joe says he has pineapple in his ass
when jimmy used the 30 seconds to wax his leg??
the way the queen’s pussy being haunted was like genuine headline news
mark sending greg 148 texts and getting 0 points ("what a terrible waste of time")
when that nude model came on for jimmy to (pretend) to live draw and lee mack was so gobsmacked at that man's penis he violently elbowed david o'doherty going "look at that!"
"you wouldn't do that during shakespeare, would you?"
on outsiders when joe wilkinson couldn't believe david mitchell is only 47 and literally said "do you live outside"
phil wang roasting ed gamble and saying "ed's girlfriend is such a dog i tried to eat her"
"you cannot imply that only gay people eat vegetables"
♪ but bin men get sad ♪
when those podcasters were reading joe wilkinson his own tweets and he was sweating so much and then just covered his eyes and went "what's wrong with me..."
"stephen fry wouldn't read 'pussy-friendly finger'"
when johnny vegas was literally eating a tin of fucking dog food and kathy burke was like "what's happening??" and jimmy so nonchalantly went "we're just eating dog food :)"
when noel ate some of alex's beard and greg said "you are aware that when we're at home alex is only allowed to move around like a snake?"
every joe & rachel hug ever here's a cute one :')
claudia completely bodying this lie and everyone's animals being so cute and funny and rob and lee complaining just the whole thing
on rhlstp when richard was Being Richard for the last hour and louis theroux was Over It and richard went "have you ever tried to suck your own cock?" and louis just died and then muttered "...do we have to..."
"i don't really eat potatoes it feels a bit irish :/"
johnny vegas pulling something out of rhod gilbert's pants, sniffing it, and then scandalising the entire room by saying "i've been told i smell better from behind than i do from the front, lovers have told me"
gosh my rotted brain is always rattling around panel show moments ..i wish to be cured
#a
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falseclosure · 8 months
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Round of 16 | Kelley O'Hara x Reader
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summary: kelley misses the penalty
warnings: none
word count: 1.1k
a/n: need an outlet after that disaster of a match and KO's one of the very first footy players i looked up to and i cannot handle that she missed that pk so here's something 🥹
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Ever since Kelley was subbed on, I was begging it would not get to a point where she has to kick the penalty. But here she was now, counting her steps for her run-up. I was whispering words of encouragement, knowing that Kelley doesn’t like it when the crowd was loud.
Closing my eyes, I was begging and praying that she makes her penalty. With one last prayer, I opened my eyes, seeing Kelley swing her right foot back; the ball making contact with her foot. It looked like it would go in, but with the curve of her kick, it hit the post instead. I can’t believe it. Kelley missed her penalty.
There were a lot of things on my bingo card, but Kelley missing her penalty was not one of them. She was calm and collected before she took the kick, but the physics behind it simply beat her. I looked at her sister beside me, tears welling my eyes because I knew that if the Swede makes her kick, it would all be over. I felt sick to my stomach.
Erin placed a hand over my shoulders, comforting me, knowing I never want to see my fiancee crying, especially because of major tournaments. Kelley always played her heart out, even when she is on the bench; she always supports her teammates, sending motivation their way. She has been doubting herself if she would make the World Cup for the past couple of months, and I knew that the missed penalty kick would only make it worse. She’s the strongest person I knew, but she’s just a person too.
As the VAR check ended and the referee blew her whistle, indicating Sweden’s win, I knew Kelley would blame herself. She was walking around her teammates, comforting them. She was holding back her tears because, for her, she was a veteran, someone that the kids could count on. She didn't want to show them weakness. I saw a few tears escape her eyes, but she was quick to wipe them away. As she gathered with her teammates for one final huddle this World Cup, I cannot help but think about the aftermath of this game.
“You think she’ll be fine?” I asked Erin beside me. She looked at me and sent me a reassuring smile.
“Of course, she would. You’re by her side.” I smiled back at Erin and thought of ways how to make Kelley feel better after this tournament.
After their huddle, Kelley and some of her teammates immediately went to the stands looking for their family. Erin and their parents nudged me and encouraged me to be the one who goes down the front of the stands. Servando and Charlie were beside me, Charlie already reaching out for her mom who was already in front of her. I sent a little smile towards Alex hoping it sends a little comfort her way. I turned my eyes back into the field and saw Kelley approaching. I immediately opened my arms and reached out to her because I knew she always found comfort in those hugs. No words were said for a couple of minutes as she continued hugging me.
“I’m sorry.” I heard her say a little sob escaping her throat. My heart felt like it was crushed into a thousand pieces hearing her sob like that. 
“It’s not your fault baby. You did your best. I know.”
“But I could’ve done more. I could’ve buried that penalty. I wasn’t good enough. I’m sorry.” 
Kelley's words hung heavy in the air as I held her tightly, providing a comforting presence amidst the turmoil of her emotions. I gently lifted her chin, making her look into my eyes, filled with sincerity and love.
"Kels, listen," I said softly, my voice carrying the weight of my genuine conviction. "You are an incredible athlete, a remarkable person, and a source of inspiration for so many, including me. One missed penalty doesn't define you, doesn't define your career, and it certainly doesn't diminish the passion and effort you've poured into this sport."
She sniffled, her eyes still glistening with tears, but she was now looking at me, absorbing my words.
"You've faced challenges before, and you've always risen above them," I continued. "This setback doesn't erase all the victories you've contributed to this team, and the memories you've created on the field. Remember the love you have for this sport, the love that has driven you to be the remarkable player you are today."
Kelley's grip on me tightened, and she nodded slowly as if beginning to find solace in my words.
"I know you're disappointed," I said, my voice tender. "But you're not alone in this journey. Your teammates, your family, and I—we're all here to support you, no matter what. And I have no doubt that you will come back even stronger from this."
“But what if this was my last major tournament?” She asked, fully aware that her clock was ticking with the sport she loved.
“That’s not the Kelley I know. The Kelley I know would tell me that she would give everything to be there at the next one. But if this was your last, you still have the NWSL season. I’d like to see you give them hell before hanging your boots up.” I told her with a small smile, trying to inject a bit of humor into the moment.
Kelley managed a faint smile in return, her tears gradually subsiding. "You always know how to make me smile, even in the toughest times," she said, her voice still quivering slightly.
"You're not alone in this, babe," I reassured her. "Your journey is shared by everyone who loves and admires you. Remember that your strength goes beyond what happens on the field. You've touched so many lives and inspired countless people."
As the stadium began to empty out and the players started heading back to the locker room, Kelley and I stayed embraced, finding comfort in each other's presence. The path ahead might be uncertain, but one thing was clear: Kelley was more than just a player on the field. She was a role model, a leader, and above all, she was loved.
In the days that followed, Kelley gradually found her footing again. She leaned on her support system, her teammates, her family, and me. She channeled her disappointment into determination, using it as fuel to push herself even harder in her training. The NWSL became a new focus, a chance for her to continue showcasing her skills and passion for the game.
And as time passed, Kelley's perspective began to shift. She realized that her worth wasn't solely determined by one missed penalty. She saw the bigger picture—the impact she had on and off the field, the resilience she had shown throughout her career, and the legacy she was building for herself.
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chillielo · 6 months
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7 + 13 with yuki/alex pretty please 🥺
half a rainbow | YT22 + AA23
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pairing: yuki tsunoda x fem!reader, alex albon x fem!reader
prompt: staying behind purposefully to have one-on-one time with the other + feeling like only the other understands every aspect of them
summary: yuki forms an attachment to you not knowing your heart already belongs to someone else / your longtime crush pushes you into the arms of another
warnings: angst!!
a/n: why choose one when i can write both #writerprivileges
“red, orange, yellow, blue.”
you’re headed for drinks with your unlikely group of friends when you notice that you’ve practically got half a rainbow walking in front of you.
carlos, max, daniel, alex.
you don’t know why daniel reminds you of yellow. he just does.
and then there was yuki walking silently next to you, his gaze jumping from person to object to the ground and then to you as if he was trying to find something to point out to you.
“you’re very quiet.” yuki says, his dark eyes observing your every move.
“i know, i’m not very good at holding conversations.” you answer him, giving him a sheepish smile.
he shakes his head, his bangs sways from the motion.
“no. it’s me.” he states, his voice tinged with frustration. “i’m the one who doesn’t know what to say to you.”
you tilt your head and frown slightly. you didn’t think that not knowing what to say to you would warrant frustration in yuki’s eyes.
“but it’s okay, isn’t it? we can just walk together in silence.” you suggest.
yuki doesn’t look convinced and shrugs. “yeah, maybe.”
you watch as his eyes jump around again, seeking something of interest.
you don’t dislike yuki’s company, in fact, you were grateful for it. but unlike him, your gaze remained steadfast on the dyed blonde hair ahead of you.
the momentary silence shatters when yuki speaks again.
“so… do you like cooking?”
the corner of your lips quirk up.
“sometimes. it depends on who i’m cooking for.”
yuki nods his head, he looks a little more eager now that he has found a common topic to discuss with you, and you oblige.
the both of you bring up the rear with chatter about different cuisines until daniel lets out a loud whoop.
“we’re here!”
“you know,” alex begins, “i think yuki likes you.”
you snort and shake your head.
“what makes you think so?”
alex smiles, it is a big ‘alex’ smile. one that is bright and warm and gives you a funny feeling in your chest.
“i noticed that he lagged behind to talk to you. he even offered to lend you his jacket when you were cold.”
you nodded your head. still, you weren’t convinced.
“yes, and carlos held the door open for me and max bought me a drink and daniel kept me upright when i nearly tripped on my way to the bathroom.”
you gave alex an unimpressed look. “do you see where i’m going with this?”
alex laughs and you feel your heart skip a beat.
“you know what i’m talking about, don’t try to deny it just because you’re afraid to admit that people find you attractive.”
but the only person i want to find me attractive is you.
“i’m not afraid to admit that i’m hot.” you frown.
his dark brown eyes look into yours and you freeze.
they say the eyes are the window to the soul and you’re pretty sure that he is looking straight at your puny little soul in this moment.
“y/n.” he says your name gently.
“you know that’s not what i’m referring to.”
it’s suffocating. you cannot escape the slithering heat of his gaze as it wraps itself around your pounding heart.
“when will you believe that you are capable of being loved?”
your heart stops.
“i believe that there is true, genuine love waiting for you out there— you’re just too scared of vulnerability to allow yourself to find it.”
alex places a hand to your shoulder and you repress the urge to shudder.
“i’ve known you long enough to know that you have a great heart and a vastness of love to give. so stop thinking that you’re better off being alone.”
you let out a deep and heavy exhale.
alex is always right. his words sink into your bones, weighing your soul down as you replay the moment over and over in your head.
“so why don’t you give yuki a chance?”
you stay quiet.
because i don’t want to be loved by anyone other than you.
“fine. but only because you know me so well and i trust your advice.”
alex grins when you relent.
“that’s what i like to hear.”
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mylucayathoughts · 5 months
Text
Little moments that I love in Red White and Royal Blue. PART 7 (cannot stop sorry 🙈)
When Nora says how "Prince Henry is so yummy" Alex doesn't really contest Noras comment on Henrys good looks (read yumminess 😏), he just says how he is not really a good person (which he believed at that time) but that's besides the point. The important thing is that Alex seemed to be in agreement with that view 😏
When Bea snatches Nora away from Alex, you cannot tell me this wasn't intentional because like a moment ago she was telling Henry how she thinks Alex is hot and asked whether Henry met him or not. And next thing she does before Henry is about to meet Alex is take the one person Alex came to the party with away from him and make sure that person sticks with her the whole time. I see what you did there Bea 😏 and she was the most amused when Alex and Henry was having their little fight and the cake fell on them 😆
When Alex sees Henry talking so cheerfully with the cancer patient and stops to stare at them. He couldn't match his idea of Henry with this version. I love how he looks confused yet curious here.
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He was observing a very oblivious Henry intently, and subconsciously he was allowing Henry to change his mind about him.
During the new years party, while dancing, Alex sees Henry sitting alone and comes running towards him and almost hits Henry's face with his 😆 (baby boy was drunk 😏) I love the energy with which he tries to lift Henry's mood up - "it's aaalll in the hips, LOOSEN UP!!", laughs with his entire face, hears his song and screams "OH MY GOD, this is the song of my childhood!!!" and says "you're dancing" and then he grabs Henrys hand and pulls him towards the dance floor. He is adorable here, always trying to keep Henry close or around.
Henry making this face when he says that his brother is completely oblivious about him being gay -
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I noticed it only like a few days ago on my millionth rewatch of the movie and laughed so hard I almost fell off my bed 🤣
When Henry says that he has to belong to himself and he can only belong to someone else momentarily and Alexs first instinct is to hold his hand 🤧🤧 lt was too pure, too kind ❤️ and Henry says "not here" (and you can tell he is devastated that he couldn't let Alex take his hand) and Alex understands the sentiment immediately.
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It's not like Alex didn't know where they were, plus Henry and he were just talking about Henry not being out to anyone but Bea. Alex still wanted to comfort Henry and to him, taking Henry's hand wasn't a romantic gesture, he just wanted to be supportive and make him feel better. But he understood Henry's predicament and played along.
When Alex writes to Henry "I'm out here giving my all for my mother. I cant have smut filling my inbox, corrupting my mind and bulging my pants like this! look buddy, you know I'm incorrigible, so don't incorrige me" and Henry writes "I'll behave" you can tell that Henry is trying to stifle a laugh and that he is so proud that he can make Alex feel that way 🤣 I know that it's supposed to be a written part in the movie but they had Taylor and Nicholas say these out loud and you can hear the emotions in their voices and I absolutely love Nicholas's delivery here.
My dumbass noticed something else a few days ago as well. That Alex practices speaking in front of the mirror before delivering his speeches. My boy really worked so hard to get his Texan votes 🤧
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All the little scenes where Alex is shown to work in his Texas campaign perfectly capture Alex's passion for politics, his dedication to the Texan campaign, his desire to help mom with her election and his wish to do something for people. I love how this part also portrays how mature he and Henrys relationship has become. It was not about just their physical needs anymore, which is still there (obviously 😏) but they act as each others support system. The way Alex tells Henry about his fear "I'll only admit this to you and no one else..." that he is gonna let his mother down, and the way Henry reassures him 🤧 and then Henry says how his ribbon cuttings are so meaningless and how he wished he could do meaningful things like Alex. And even though Henry is not proud of it, Alex still makes sure to watch Henry's appearances. I love how sweet and kind and supportive they are to one another. And the passion with which both Nicholas and Taylor read theirs emails 🤧😭 so good!
At the V&A when they were slow dancing, you can't take your eyes off Taylor and Nicholas's hands 😍 they just keep lovingly caressing each other. It's soo beautiful to watch. They are so gentle and caring in those scenes.. Their eyes are soft, full of love 🤧 This is yet another scene where you can't possibly ask more from Taylor and Nicholas. They really went all in 👏
Their soft little smiles in this scene 😍🥺 Henry looks so relaxed and happy! They make me cry ok 🤧
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Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
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valsunrye · 15 days
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A Statement
Alex Kister has been outted for extremely inappropriate talk with minors/grooming, predatory behavior as well as manipulation, suicide baiting, and other toxic behavior patterns, and perhaps more that I do not currently know of with his partner(s)multiple victims. There have been documents released on Twitter along with screenshots, and the evidence given for the moment seems quite damning, so I will no longer associate myself with the official TMC, although I may still post "fan" content related to it (such as art of the characters/redesigns and AU designs, etc.), although I may try to branch my art out into more other fandoms. Past voice actors for the series have spoken on the situation at hand.
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Voiceover Requiem (Jude Murray's VA) David Nolan (The tmc narrator's VA) as well as Spidey (Evelin's VA) have also left tmc.
I may continue to interact with the fandom and fans as it and you all still hold a special place in my heart after getting me through some tough times (in which I was dealing with emotional manipulation, gaslighting, subtle threats of physical violence, reckless endangerment, and talk of committing from someone I knew irl, which furthers the utter disappointment I feel in learning what type of person the creator of TMC is as it seems he is not too unalike from that person in certain ways), and I've made friends here that brought realization to my past situation. I cannot control the hyperfixation that I have on TMC, it's been a source of comfort, however interacting with official stuff from the creator, such as merch and etc. It is out of the question to me, as I refuse to support a person such as him financially. And by "official tmc" I mean the videos and merch, I unfortunately still have an interest in the lore and characters. I might still post about tmc.
If you are a younger fan or just a fan of Alex Kister in general or The Mandela Catalogue, for your own sake and safety, please avoid any and all interaction with him personally. Do not go out of your way to DM him or engage in any other form of interaction with them. Do not respond to any advances or attempts at "friendship" that he may make, and do not make any such attempts yourself. Alex seems to be in a very unstable state of mind, refuses to get help, and misuses their platform and the young internet fame they've gained to hurt others and use it to interact with fans in inappropriate ways. He may continue to do so to those who interact with him. His actions are predatory. He is likely unsafe to himself as well as others. I suggest blocking him/cutting contact as the best option to avoid this.
Let this be a reminder to not indulge in parasocial behavior, idolize, put on a pedestal, or form one-sided "relationships" with social media presences or celebrities online in the future, as you never know what a person is like beneath their persona. I've always believed this to be an important thing, so keep this in mind. No matter how kind someone may seem on the surface: you do not know them, you do not know someone until you have become close with them, and by then, it becomes extremely difficult to leave when they start to display toxic behavior. I know this personally from my offline, real-life experience of getting to know an unstable manipulator as someone I cared for. By the time I'd realized the blazing red flags, it was so hard to cut them off, cut contact, and file a restraining order.
For the time being, I personally have chosen not to completely unassociate myself from the fandom itself. I am unsure on whether this stance will change in the near future. I fully understand that being part of a fandom with a creator such as this, much like many other fandoms that were made by awful creators, may bring upset to those who follow me, so if this makes any of my followers uncomfortable, I completely understand. Please feel free to unfollow me! I sincerely apologize to those I may have disappointed, as I find it hard to distance myself from it. Perhaps this is our goodbye. 
I do, however, want to make it clear that I do not support Alex's actions. Please do not turn a blind eye to and immediately attempt to deny the information given, as many have come forward. They deserve your belief and support. This is genuinely sickening. It's difficult to process, and it's been a huge shock to myself and to others as well, I'm sure. I'm so terribly disappointed in everything. I'm very sorry to anyone who has been hurt by him. My heart goes out to the victims. I hope you find your peace and heal. I understand that you're hurting; take time to yourself, avoid triggers, and know that it is not your fault; you trusted someone, and they used that against you. You did not deserve any of this.
I will try to keep my eyes out and update on any new info/statements that may arise.
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sencubussubs · 2 months
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Robotic Affirming
Hi lovelies!
Let’s talk Robotic Affirming! Robotic affirming is a manifestation method that works using repetition to replace assumptions and beliefs:
Key principles: (to any method / during manifestation)
- Repetition
- Saturation
- Persistence
- Discipline
Understanding Robotic Affirming:
Robotic affirming works by mindlessly affirming all throughout the day. You do not need to feel it real or visualise, you are simply repeating a (preferably short) affirmation over and over to saturate your mind and replace previous dominant thoughts / assumptions you held.
Saturating your mind is how you create new beliefs. Whether you work with affirmations or states, you saturate your mind with the decision you are making to change.
Ways to robotically affirm:
1. Mindlessly affirming for set periods of time or at any moment that you do not need to be focusing on something (like work or school). Mindless / robotic just means you are repeating the affirmation without thinking about it or needing to feel emotion
2. 10 minute method/ Power affirming: set a timer for ten minutes in which you only repeat your affirmation(s) (1-2). Do not focus on anything else, just your affirmations.
3. SATS affirming: if you struggle with visualisation you can also robotically affirm yourself to sleep :) just repeat the affirmations over and over, don’t think too hard about it. I like to count and affirm “1 I am *affirmation*. 2. I am *affirmation*. 3. i am *affirmation*” and so on.
When working with robotic affirmations it is best to work with 1-2 max 3 affirmations at a time, as it is just easier to remember and repeat less affirmations. Over time (not a long time) you will find yourself automatically start to affirm when you are not doing anything/ randomly thinking of your affirmations! it makes affirming feel far more normal.
Tip: if you get distracted easily, or to make it fun, use a counter app and see how many times you can affirm in the 10 minutes (or longer!).
Persistence as with any manifestation is key. If you have thoughts that pop up that don’t align with your affirmations, do not just allow them to sit and complain in your head. Those thoughts are irrelevant to who you now are deciding to be. It takes discipline to create new assumptions - but not a long time (unless you continuously assume it does). If an unfavourable thought pops up, take a deep breath and remember, this does not align with you anymore. it is irrelevant.
E.G.
my affirmation is: I have 5 thousand dollars in my bank account.
thought pops up: Man I am so broke.
Response: No, actually i know that i have five thousand dollars in my bank account so that thought is so irrelevant to me. *let the thought through and then move on! Do not let negative thoughts stress you out. you are doing everything right!*
Finding your strengths
not everyone will enjoy robotic affirming, they may find it tiring to affirm all the time and that’s fine. For me it is a simple and healthy habit that keeps my mind busy on positive saturation in time periods where typically negative thoughts may pop up!
For some visualisation and states may be tiring! So maybe this will suit you :)
Remember that it is not your affirmations that manifest, it is you. You are using the affirmations to change your subconscious beliefs - even if you don’t believe the affirmations, the repetition and saturation will train your mind - unless you spend all the time counter-affirming about “oh it is not working”, it is literally only not working because you are deciding it isn’t….
Also i really do not care if another content creator states “erm robotic affirming doesn’t work”, it may not have ‘worked’ for them but it has worked time and time again for others! As always, do not let one’s experience dictate what can and cannot work for you.
Here are some content creators I like that use and talk about robotic affirming :
- Sammy Ingram
- Your Thoughts Create
- Rita kaminski
- Manifesting with kimberly
- Alex Khan
you can find all of them on youtube :) Remember not to over-consume! It will not help you.
As a final note i want to remind you that manifestation is not a process it is a decision. You are not affirming to get something, you are affirming as a reminder to yourself of what is already yours. As you saturate your mind with this it becomes an undeniable fact to your mind and as such the 3D will reflect it.
Have anymore questions about robotic affirming or anything else law of assumption? Feel free to send a dm or an ask, my messages are always open <3
Love,
Saph
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kingbonercar · 2 years
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Bring Me a Dream- Morpheus X Reader
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A/N: I wrote this in the middle of the night, so I hope it’s not absolute drivel. Also I didn’t proofread it so… hey! Idk what’s gonna happen! Also it’s very long bc I just WENT FOR IT! I hope you all enjoy!
Word count: 2k
Warnings: mentions of death
Major fluff alert! Slow burn for a oneshot!
Paring: Morpheus x Gender Neutral Reader
Summary: y/n is Alex Burgess’s adult Grandchild coming to visit, but they uncover the “family secret” in the basement, and they vow to release the man trapped for so many centuries.
Nature was outstretching its urgent arms and beckoning me to frolic within its verdant forests and fields. The greenery was speckled with buds of a multitude of pastel colors. I lost myself in this world of sweet-smelling daffodils and buttery rays of sunshine-
“Hey! Uh, you’re here!” The gruff cockney voice of my cab driver jolted me out of my trancelike slumber.
“Oh! Yes! Thank you!” I swallowed, shakily thumbing through my wallet to retrieve my credit card to reimburse the driver.
With a tight-lipped smile, I lugged my suitcase from the trunk with an ungraceful thud, and slammed the banana-yellow lid of it a tad too aggressively. I was still halfway prancing in the dream world like a daft idiot.
As I ambled down the cobblestone walkway of my grandfathers’ estate, I thought to myself, what a lovely dream. I lingered on this moment, as I had been pervasively afraid of the “sleepy sickness” which had affected my mother before her death just three years ago. It seemed as if no one dreamed anymore. I rapped on the door eagerly, for it had been years since I had seen my grandfathers, I had been but a mere child. The heavy door swung open to reveal the grinning face of Alex Burgess, my favorite relative.
“Oh how you’ve grown!” He cooed, beckoning me inside.
“I have a room for you upstairs, but drop your bags anywhere, we need to catch up!”
The man struggled to arise from his wheelchair, but after a few grunts, he stood tall, smiling with open arms.
“Grandpa!” I scolded, “you didn’t need to stand up!”
I embraced him, giggling through my chides.
“Ah but I did! You know that’s my favorite trick to play on people? I’ll be in my chair, looking as if I’m on Death's door, then BAM! I’ll stand up, and not only that, but I’ll rant about how some miracle has cured me! Gets ‘em every time!” Alex sung, clearly proud of his pranking achievements.
“I missed this. God, ever since mom passed away it’s like I was farther away from you. She was like an extension of you, despite being adopted, she really did reflect everything about you.” I sighed. “But I’m happy I’m here now.” I patted him on the shoulder, prompting my grandfather to settle down into his wheelchair.
“Now let me show you to your room.” He uttered.
-
-
-
“I believe it is time for you to learn our family secret. Venture to the basement if you wish to know. But be warned, you must keep this firmly under wraps. We cannot risk knowledge of this being getting out.
Yours,
Grandpa Alex”
A note on yellowed parchment read. I had discovered the letter on my bedside table, waiting to be discovered. I looked upon it with a perplexed demeanor.
“Well, if this is some elaborate plot to kidnap me, it’s better than paying rent in my New York apartment.” I thought.
I descended a myriad of stairs, enough to make my calves groan.
I reached a sinister looking gate barring a larger room from access. Two guards stood beside it, unyielding. I brandished my letter with a shrug.
“Uh, I was told to come down here.” I squeaked.
The individuals nodded at one another, then punched in an unseen code to a pin pad which triggered the barred doors to swing open. I cautiously stepped in. The room was a sweeping expanse of grey, dimly lit walls. If only that were the only thing within. In the center of the area, a giant glass ball was perched in the center of some strange gold circle drawn onto the concrete below. Within the sphere was a man. This person’s skin was as white as an early winter snow, and his hair was obsidian black, so black that it could devour worlds in its endless void of color. The imprisoned man was also lacking clad, he crossed his legs to preserve a shred of dignity for himself, even in this state. I was taken aback at this sight. Why would my family be harboring a human being in their basement, along with keeping this poor soul in the confines of a glass globe, with no clothing or even a blanket? A swarm of emotions floated around my head as I approached the person. I stopped my stride as I reached a safe distance from the metallic circle on the floor, thinking it to be some sort of protective spell, although I couldn’t place it. For even I, someone who dabbles in witchcraft, it was foreign to me. The pale man lifted his chin slowly to meet my gaze with his icy eyes. They narrowed, his face awash with untrusting hatred.
I stepped away, a stirring in my soul told me to avert my prying eyes. I tore my gaze from the floor to look at him again, budding tears clouding my vision.
“God, I can’t believe they did this to you.” I whispered, bringing a hand up to touch the glass empathetically.
His gaze was unfaltering.
“Um, what is your name?” I inquired gently.
His lips remained sealed.
“I-I’m going to have a word with my grandfather about this.” I stated, turning on my heel.
-
-
-
“So just because he hasn’t promised not to harm you, you haven’t let him out? That’s IT?” I cried after Alex had enlightened me on the story of why the man was in the basement.
“Well, yes! Can’t you understand?” He hollered hopelessly.
“Are you sure he can even hear you in that thing?”
“Of course I’m sure! He’s a stubborn bastard!”
“If I weren’t your house guest I would break that fucking glass on my own.”
“But you are my house guest, and he’s a dangerous entity, Y/N.” My grandfather's hands met his head.
“Well at least you could show him some decency. He is the lord of dreams for fucks sake.” I spat as I turned towards the basement door. “And just so it’s clear, the reason your daughter died was because of you keeping him imprisoned. Without that, we wouldn’t have any of the sleepy-sickness bullshit. So just know that.” Words dripped like venom off of my mouth.
The man looked astounded, tears began to form in his eyes as despair clouded his face. He sunk into his wheelchair and wept.
-
-
-
I had been attempting to get the Lord of Dreams to converse for five hours, and I was constantly unsuccessful.
The being had shifted his position so he was laying, his eyes peeking out from behind his forearm. I sat down on the cold concrete, defeated.
“I know your name now, Alex told me. But I guess I am a sucker for proper introductions.” I sighed. I fished a minuscule sketch book and a graphite pencil out of my jacket pocket and began to craft a picture of The Sandman, in all of his foreboding glory. I found his strange muscle patterns endlessly fascinating. My pencil scratched paper for an undetermined amount of time, resulting in a gorgeous piece of Dream himself. I slowly pressed the page to the glass, he gazed upon it with curiosity. He lifted his hand to meet the wall of his entrapment, almost as if to reach for the drawing. His lips parted for mere seconds, just before he slumped into the deflated position that he has been roosting in for hours. I retreated as slumber beckoned me with balmy promises. I scooted to rest against the unyielding wall, eager to submit to the realm of sleep, not caring what consequences were in store for me. My eyelids felt as if they had contracted weights, and my vision blurred as my eyes closed, immediately introducing me to a world so vibrant that it had to be the one of dreams. I stood in the field, the same one in which I had visited in my nap in the taxi. I spun, my unclad feet meshing with the fertile soil below them. I allowed a laugh to escape my lips as I tumbled onto the soft ground. I gazed at the fluffy dandelions perched atop hairy stalks, and the razor-sharp blades of grass concealing the miniature insects within. Although my wonderment was tampered by two combat-boot-adorned feet trampling on the greenery. My eyes shot up accusatorily to view none other than The Lord of Dreams. I regained my bearings and shot to my feet, standing a few inches shorter than he. The being was now wearing clothes, pervasively black ones at that.
“Hi.” I uttered breathlessly.
His presence was strong, overwhelming. I suppose it’s not surprising when one is met with a God.
“Hello. You never told me your name.” He spoke, his voice was rich like oceans of time and caves dripping with jewels. He held universes on his tongue when he crafted his words so calmly.
“My-my name? Oh, well, I’m Y/N. It’s more than a pleasure to finally meet you properly.” I extended my hand, feeling awkward and shaky.
“Y/N,” he let the syllables roll off his silver tongue. “I like that name. I’m Morphius, but you probably were told my name was Dream. Which I suppose is true to some extent.” He obliged to my offer of a handshake. His fingers were freezing, his touch was fleeting.
“Morpheus, that’s a beautiful name. What would you rather I call you?” Speaking his name ignited a flame in my soul.
“You may call me whatever you like, Y/N.” He stated, a small smile gracing his lips.
“Ah, yes. Thank you, Lord Morpheus.” I bowed shallowly, not sure what to do at that particular moment.
“No need for such formalities. I am only here to speak to you.” Morpheus tutted.
“I’m sorry. What are you wanting to speak about?” I swiftly corrected my position.
“I wanted to tell you that I haven’t beheld such bewitching beauty in a thousand years. I have been confined so wretchedly, alone, for so long. And you are the only hope I have ever seen.” The wiry man grew closer to me as he gently took my hand and planted a tender kiss to the top of it.
I was on the verge of fainting, despite being in a dream.
“I see I have made you uncomfortable. Many apologies, dear Y/N. I shall go now.” He turned with sad eyes away from me.
“Morpheus, wait!” I tapped his shoulder urgently.
He turned to meet my gaze. Those eyes held a million words. “Wait. I have never encountered a being who harbors such complex emotion, such confusing luster. But why would The Lord of the Dreamworld want a mere mortal like me?”
“Do not diminish yourself to such titles. You have touched me, Y/N, with your compassion and kindness. I used to think that every human was like Roderick Burgess, but I was wrong. You are different.” His white hands snaked up my forearms and ascended to my shoulders.
“Kiss me. Please.” I knew what I was asking of the Dream Lord and I didn’t care. Lust pervaded me completely. He bored into my eyes as he leaned in, our noses brushing, his arm coiling around my waist, and my fingers playing with his spiky hair. Our lips were almost brushing….
“DON’T FALL ASLEEP IN HIS PRESENCE!” My grandfather awoke me by shaking my shoulders urgently.
“Gah! What?” I spluttered, dazed.
“God it’s all my fault! He’s probably gotten to you now! I forgot to tell you- it’s all my FAULT!” He wailed.
I turned my attention to Morpheus in his cell. He watched, he raised an eyebrow mischievously.
“You know what? Maybe he has gotten to me. And I don’t care if it was all a ploy to get me to release him- but you can’t keep someone caged like this! It’s not right!” I screamed as I leapt towards the circle, scratching out a chunk of it with my heel.
The atmosphere in the dim basement room shifted. The air grew colder and malicious. All I remember is the force of my back hitting the wall. Then, it was silent.
-
-
-
My ears rang nonstop, tears leaked from my eyes uncontrollably. I opened my moistened lids to see a ceiling foreign to any that were in the house. I sat up, confused and disoriented.
“Everything is safe now. Calm yourself.” A sultry and familiar voice droned.
My view came to meet Dream, sitting on a bed adjacent to mine. I noted that we were in what appeared to be a hotel room.
“What… what happened?” I inquired groggily.
“Don’t worry about that. What matters is that we are both out of harm's way.”
“Okay.” I said plainly, not satisfied with his answer. “Um, in the dream, was that… real? Or was that just a plot so I could help you escape?” I bit my lip.
“I suppose it was both.” He arose and made his way over to me. He took my hands and knelt in between my legs. “Everything I said was true.” He uttered. His tone was enough to make me melt. “Ah nervous, are we?”
“Wherever would you get that idea?” I chuckled.
He slowly ascended from his kneeling position to stand in between my legs. His movements were leisurely and deliberate. He tilted my chin up with his thin finger.
“Now, let’s finish where we left off, yes?” He breathed, connecting his lips with mine.
He tasted like starlight and fresh mint. He felt like adoration incarnate, and he was mine; I was his.
1K notes · View notes
crazyk-imagine · 2 months
Text
Ruined Relationships, but the Love is There
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Pairing: Mark Sloane x Ex-Girlfriend!reader
Characters: Mark Sloane, Ex-Girlfriend!reader, Kara Sloane, Jackson Avery, April Kepner, Meredith Grey, Christina Yang, Derek Sheppard, George O'Malley, Owen Hunt, Addison Montgomery (briefly mentioned)
Warnings: Angst, fluff, cheating, adultery, ooc peeps, minor cursing, drama (what else would you expect), like a lot of drama, near death experience, classic grey's things going on here, cheating, bad relationships, mentions of pregnancy, keeping children hidden from father, car accidents, reader is a doctor, everyone is in kahoots, Christina is into beating, Meredith and Derek are cute, Bailey is great as always, George is here and lives, no mentions of Izzie or Alex, friendships between Mark and Meredith, plus Mark and Christina, Christina is a secret romantic at heart
Word Count: 4,593
A/N: I feel like everyone is ooc but idc bc I love this fic
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You ignore him, praying to whatever god is listening to keep him away from you.
Meredith and Christina notice the tension in your shoulders, sharing a look.
“You know I don’t care about a lot of people but, are you okay?” the curly haired female asks.
You shrug, acting as if nothing has changed. “I’m fine, why?”
Meredith chimes in. “You’re looking a little-“
“Squirrely?”
“I was gonna go with tense but squirrely works.”
You huff through your nose, “would you two shut up.” You hand the clipboard back to your favorite nurse, Marjorie. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” You spin around and walk out, not looking back.
Derek shakes his head, watching you basically run out of the hospital.
Mark glances behind him, not finding who he wanted and sighs. He looks up to see his friend and offers a small wave.
The ferry boat lover nods to acknowledge him.
The plastic surgeon bids the others goodbye and stands in front of the doors, thinking about everything that led him here.
You drive past him without realizing it as he thinks of your face when you caught him in bed with Addison.
His eyes trail on the car, wishing he could see you again and not just glimpses.
-
You roll your eyes and walk away across the bridge, not caring how unprofessional you look. “I’m not talking to you.”
He picks up his pace, following after you. “Please just-“
You scoff, spinning around to face him, “no, I tried before. I did and then,” you lean forward poking him in his chest, “you decided to stick your dick in someone else. Someone who was married and oh, yeah, not your girlfriend.” You cross your arms, “so, excuse me for not being particularly excited at the sight of you.”
“Fiancé.”
You blink once, furrowing your brows. “What?”
“I was,” he gulps. "I was going to propose to you that night.” He pulls the little black box out of his pocket, handing it to you.
”Before or after you screwed Addison,” you bitterly add, staring at the box. If you open it, that's giving him hope.
"I- she came to me and-“
You scoff hard enough for the vibrations to scratch your throat for a few seconds. “I cannot believe this- you- you think it’s okay to just- I’m done.”
“Please don’t,” he begs, eyes getting glossier the more you talk. “Don’t say it.”
Your bottom lip wobbles, removing your gaze from him. “I’m done with this, with us, and you. Now, you get to deal with the guilt. If you have any at all.” You slam the box in his hand and walk away.
Nothing could have prepared anyone at the hospital for this.
You know they’re all looking at you and it pisses you off. “What are you looking at?!”
Christina does damage control, stopping everyone from getting your wrath.
-
Meredith finds him in the on-call room, she was hoping to nap before joining in on a surgery but seems like the universe had other plans. ”You uh- okay?”
He fiddles with the box, staring at the diamond that taunts him. “Does it look I’m okay?”
She shrugs, “not really but it’s better than admitting you were stupid for messing things up with her.”
“My mistake brought Derek to you, didn’t it?”
“Why are you here?”
“If I go to Joe’s I’m going to sleep around, proving her point.”
“And staying here?”
“I don’t know where else to go. Derek is still upset with me, and I don’t blame him, but I know he loves you and I don’t need to hear a speech from him. I’m not ready for him to tell me I messed up more than any of us want to admit.”
“Why did you do it?”
“Do what?” He asks, finally looking up from the ring. “I was scared.”
“To,” she gestures to the ring.
“That and be a husband.”
“You weren’t scared of asking, it was the commitment that got you, I can understand it.”
“No, no," he shakes his head. "I didn’t think- I knew I wouldn’t be a good husband. I- everyone only saw the bad, my parents, Derek at times but she didn’t. She never did and that’s why I,” he lets out a tearful chuckle, “that’s why I fell for her. She saw the good no one else did and I screwed it up.”
Meredith hands him a tissue.
“You tell anyone about this, and I’ll let you observe one of my surgeries beside me.”
“I wasn’t but if you’re offering.”
The two chuckled.
-
Christina owlishly blinks, watching as you work on your last patient for the day as if nothing’s happened.
“How can she just put it all behind her?” George questions, sitting beside her.
“Having a nervous breakdown earlier in the day helps.”
“I feel like there should be someone sitting between us.”
The future cardiologist shrugs, “suit yourself.”
“You’re going to check on her after she’s done, right?”
“I’ll talk to her, if she opens up, good for her.”
A smile dances across his lips, happy that someone’s going to check on you; he likes you and admires your work, knowing you could be someone as well-known as Ellis Grey.
-
“Can you teach me your sutures?”
You ignore her and finish checking over your charts. “Yours are fine. Tell me the real reason you're bugging me.”
She purses her lips, not wanting to admit it out loud. “Are you okay?”
“You really want to know?”
She hesitates to nod. “I… do.”
“It sucks. Everything just… sucks. I don’t want to be here, but this is the only place that makes me feel calm.” You hand Marjorie the chart, smiling at her before returning to Christina. “I’m going to get through this. He’s going to find a nice girl and have the family he always wanted while I’ll still be here.”
“He’s going to go through girls like I go through tequila.”
“I know,” you grab your bag. “Which is why I know he’ll finally find his girl.”
She follows you until you reach the door. "What if it's you?"
A sad smile stretches across your lips. "He lost her."
”Forever?”
You shrug.
The resident stands there, unsure of what to do now.
-
You glance in his direction, wondering how many women he’s going to write down on the sheet. You hand yours back to Bailey, “I keep my life outside of work, unlike some people.”
Mark inwardly groans.
Bailey avoids making eye contact with him, she can’t continue to feel bad for him when he’s the one who messed things up (from what you told her).
You walk past the new residents, not in the mood to deal with them, especially with the girls fawning over Mark.
-
You sit down and watch his surgery, listening to the way he talks down to them.
You always told him he needs to slow down and be kind to them or else they won’t respect him but with everything that’s happened, you assume he’s a little bitter.
He always knows when you're watching and composes himself, but he can’t help and snap at the newbie (you don’t need to be talked about as if you’re a piece of meat). He glances up, catching your gaze.
You gulp, finding his soft expression he only used for you.
Everyone turns to you.
Two of the girls in orange start gossiping beside you.
“I have charts to look over. Come with me?” George asks.
You nod, finding it hard to keep your gaze off him but do so, only to inform the girls of some key information. “Keep talking like that and you two won’t find yourself off bedpan duty for a few months. Don’t talk about your superiors like that again."
The young faced one eyes widen and her face pales at your threat.
Mark can’t help but smirk behind his mask, always loving it when you straightened people out, if it was necessary.
-
"I see you two still aren’t talking.”
“Shut up, George.”
“Right, yeah. Got it.”
-
You try and ignore him again, which is when Derek steps in. “You should talk to him.”
“I know you two are all buddy buddy now, but I can’t do that. I can’t pretend like he didn’t break my heart in two. So, excuse me for ignoring your best friend."
He stops in front of you. “I need you to stop, think about this. What if you two don’t make amends and something happens? How would you feel? Think about how he would feel?”
“We’d be depressed, but eventually get over it, maybe be slutty for a few months and that’s the end of it.”
“That’s not a healthy way of dealing with your feelings and you know it.”
“I don’t care if it’s healthy or not. I have issues and I deal with them my way.”
“If you’d talk to him, maybe you’ll feel better.”
You roll your eyes and head into the prep station before you two head into surgery.
-
Bailey rolls her eyes, reaching for your phone. “Your phone keeps buzzing, doctor.”
You sigh, “does it look important?”
She leans closer, whispering, “it’s about your daughter.”
“Daycare or babysitter?”
“Babysitter. Fever, wants her mom.”
You take a deep breath and lean over to talk to your friend, “doctor Bailey’s going to take over. I need to go.”
“You’re leaving in the middle of a surgery?”
“I have to take care of something.”
“What?”
“My daughter.”
The staff in the OR got quiet, no one observing said anything.
You didn’t see the lights until it was too late.
-
“We got one adult in critical condition. One child with a minor bruising.”
Bailey and Owen are the first to arrive.
The woman’s eyes narrow to the familiar baby in Matt’s arms.
Owen steps forward. “What happened?”
“Car accident. Drunk ran a red light. Drivers side took more of the impact.”
“We need to get her checked out now.” The redhead pushes himself through, taking over one of the rooms. He tells the interns and fresh residents to prep a surgical room and put Christina on babysitting duty, leaving Jackson to follow him and Callie into the OR.
“I heard there was an accident,” Mark says, standing in the doorway. “I wanted to see if you needed any assistance?”
Callie glances at her ally in the room. “No, you should go check on Derek. I think I heard him calling for you.”
“When did he-"
“She’s coding,” Jackson interrupts.
“Crap! Avery, push one of epi.”
Everyone in the room prays for it to work and you to come back.
“Let me help,” he takes a step forward before being called away by one of the nurses.
-
He takes a sip of coffee, goes over the notes and overhears a few residents gossiping. His head whips in their direction. "Where'd you hear that?” He asks them, not accepting their answers.
They freeze. "Where did you hear that? Is she here?"
The group of residents’ glances at one another, unsure of what to say. "Who told you she's here?"
April had never worked with Mark before and seeing how freaked out he was over someone who wanted almost nothing to do with him, she felt bad; if someone she was in love with was hurt or worse, she'd want to know. "We- we saw her come in. They-"
He doesn't listen to anything else and takes off, running past Christina, who coddles the tear eyed, red faced toddler in her arms.
-
He runs straight towards Meredith, who's talking to Owen. "Where is she?"
The red head takes a step foward. "She's in surgery-"
"What room?"
"Sloan, you know I can't-"
He grabs Owen's scrubs by the collar and pulls him close. "I need to see her. I can't be here, waiting to see if she's dead or not. Tell me where she is."
The ex-vet slowly reaches for the man's hands. "Mark, I need you to calm down."
"How can I calm down when I just found out my fiancé is in surgery?"
-
Meredith takes a seat beside him, slumping against the wall, offering him a snack.
He shakes his head, closes his eyes and resting his head against the wall. "Have you heard anything?"
"No," she shakes her head. "I don't even know where she is."
"I just- what am I going to do if she's really-"
"Don't talk like that. She's not one to give up. She's-"
"A fighter?"
"Yeah."
Christina turns the corner, eyes wide. "Meredith?" She spots the two of them and runs towards them, inadvertently introducing your daughter to her father. "Mer. Mer. I need your help."
"Where did you get a baby?" She pushes herself off the floor. "Why do you have a baby?"
"Bailey put me on Kara duty and she won't stop crying."
"Whose baby, is it?"
That's when things got awkward.
Meredith's eyes widen, "no."
She nods.
Mark opens his eyes, glancing up. His eyes stop on the little girl, who glances his way.
She reaches for him. "Dada."
No one knew what to do.
"Oh my god," the two women muttered.
He pushes himself off the floor, staring at her. There's no mistaking it, she has your features, but she's got his eyes.
The little girl fusses in the woman's arms.
Mark easily slides her into his, his daughter settles into his arms, staring at him with those wide, curious eyes. "Mama?"
He gulps, "we have to wait a little bit before we see mama, okay?"
She nods and lays her head down on his chest.
He closes his eyes to keep his tears at bay, kissing the top of her head.
-
"She still loves you," Christina tells him.
He keeps his gaze on his girls and hums. "When you showed her the ring, she didn't say it was officially over for you two but she's still heartbroken over you and Addison getting together."
"I was getting ready to leave."
"What?"
"I grabbed my jacket and made sure I had the ring. I was- I wanted that night to go perfectly but then I opened the door, and she was there." He sighs.
"She let herself in and I tried to get her to leave but she wouldn't and then she kissed me. I told her I couldn't because I was about to become a proud married man," he bitterly chuckles.
"I told her no and she got upset because she knew she could always run to me but when she knew she couldn't anymore, she decided she wanted to love me. The way I wanted her to when we were younger. I accepted it, you know."
The woman nods.
"I accepted the fact that she chose Derek. He was a good choice."
"He was a safe choice, and she knew that."
Mark nods, "yeah and that's why I... tried to warn him before he proposed."
"You tried to warn him?"
"He's my best friend, I couldn't let him go into a marriage that was going to hurt him."
She chuckles, "that's ironic."
"Shut up, Yang."
"Go on."
"I gave into her because a part of me was scared- scared I was going to hear the rejection. No, I can't marry you because..."
"You're a manwhore?"
"Baby present and, yes. I didn't want my past to define my future but then, it did, and she left with Derek."
"Do you think Derek knew about," Christina gestures to the baby in his arms.
"Probably. I'm not happy I missed it but at least I know she had someone who could take care of her."
"Are you ever going to tell her?"
"If she'll listen."
Her pager beeps.
"Go, Yang. I'm not leaving."
Derek nods and steps into the room.
"You hear all that?"
His friend shrugs, "only the good parts."
"Funny."
"She was going to tell you before... everything happened but then she needed to get away and I did too-"
"So, she left without saying anything."
"If it means anything, she wrote a journal throughout the entire pregnancy, in case she passed, and Kara wanted to know about her mom."
He can tell by Mark's expression; he needs to explain.
"She was stressed throughout the entire pregnancy, and it was cause for concern. She had a few fainting spells and needed to stay home for a while. The doctor was making it seem like if she even went to the bathroom, she was going to lose Kara which scared her more than leaving you."
"Why?"
"If she lost Kara, it meant losing a piece of you which would have made her feel like it was officially over for the two of you."
Your heart monitor beeps. "Derek?"
His friend calms you down, checking you over before whispering that Mark and Kara are in the room.
You slowly turn your head, spotting them.
The father of your child smiles, relieved to see you awake. "Hey."
You spot your little girl tucked into his neck and tear up. You bring your hand up to your mouth to hide the sobs that want to escape.
Mark gestures for your guys' friend to exit so he can talk to you. He slowly pushes himself out of the chair, adjusting to the little girl. "Hey, hey," he brushes the few strands of hair out of your face, his thumb rubbing agaist your hairline. "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"
"I'm sorry."
He shakes his head. "Don't be. I'm just- I'm happy you're okay."
"I wanted to call you so many times."
"I know."
"I wanted you to be there."
"Where?"
"In the room," you whisper, staring into his eyes. "I didn't want her to be away from you but-"
He nods. "I know, I messed up. If I didn't- if it didn't happen, we could have been a family, and I will forever be sorry because you went through it alone."
Hearing your voice alerts the little girls’ ears and she squirms in his grasp.
He sets her feet on the open area near your arm, letting her turn around and launch herself into your arms. "Mama!"
"Oh, my sweet baby." You kiss the side of her head. "Mama missed you."
His heart swells at the sight of you two.
-
A few days later and you feel okay enough to be sent home.
You bid your goodbyes to everyone, even the newbies because they were nice enough to check in on you and make sure everything was okay. You step outside and take a deep breath.
"What do you think you're doing?"
A quiet moment ruined by your ex.
"I'm breathing, Mark. Can I do that, or do you need to make sure the weather's just right?"
He chuckles before getting out of the car. "You know your doctor gave you strict orders, I think you should be following them but that's just me."
You stare at him with a deadpan expression. "I got it, Mark. I know what I need to do, don't try and patronize me."
"I would never."
-
The residents huddle together, watching the two of you.
"How much do you want to bet that they're going to get back together?" Christina asks.
Jackson nods, "I'll take that bet."
Meredith stares at the two of them.
"You two are awful," April adds.
"Yes, but we'll be bad people with money," the future cardiologist tells her with a sarcastic smile.
Derek stops at the desk, taking a sip of his coffee before making his way to the group. "Okay, if we're all done gawking at two grown adults trying to move past their differences, can we get back to work?"
"You're no fun. I remember when you were having fun."
"You want to scrub in on my surgery, Dr. Yang?"
"Let's go have fun. See yah, Mer."
-
You make it through the door of your place and wait for it. "Say it."
"What?" He closes the door, setting the stroller by the door as he unbuckles Kara.
"I know you're judging, so, out with it. I'm not going to pretend as if you don't want to say something because you do."
"I don't," he notices the look you're giving him. "I... like it."
"You hesitated even finishing that sentence."
"I did not."
"Did too."
"Mama!"
You two glance down at the little girl, wanting attention and out of her father's grasp. You gently take her from him and wander into the kitchen, scouring through the cabinets to figure out what kind of things you could have as a snack.
This is what he wants, he wants this life: the one where you're not mad at him, and he can watch his daughter grow while you look amazing at being a mom.
He gulps down what little saliva he has in his mouth and takes a hesitant step closer to you. "What are we feeling?"
You hum, "I don't know, little miss here can't decide on what she wants."
"I can make something," he meekly offers, unsure if this is too much or not.
"What can you make? Last time I checked all you knew was protein smoothies and even then, that wasn't the best."
He scoffs, "I know how to cook, and you know it. You forget who made you dinner for our second date."
You open your mouth to respond but don't have it in you when you think about the good times you two had. Your gaze drops.
He feels bad but he can't pretend as if your romantic past doesn't exist. "I was so worried I messed up with that dinner."
"Really?"
"Of course, I was cooking for the most beautiful girl within a five-mile radius of my house. I was more than nervous."
"Good."
-
You step out of the room and start cleaning up, only for Mark to stop you and grab everything you pick up.
"I told you not to do anything. I got this."
You lean over the couch and watch him wander around your place. "Do you..."
"What?" He glances up, staring at you with kind eyes, wanting to hear what you have to say.
"Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if it didn't happen?"
"I know we'd be married with at least one other kid now."
"I'm serious."
"I don't want to focus on the past."
You scoff, rolling your eyes.  "Says the man who always wanted to ask about my exes."
-
You don't even know how it happened but here you are. You pull away, needing to breathe before continuing.
"Are you sure about this?"
You stare into his eyes, for what feels like an eternity. "I'm sure. I want this. Please," you beg.
His lips curve upwards, "who am I to deny you a fun time?"
You keep him at arm’s length, "that comment makes me want to rethink this whole thing."
"No, it doesn't."
You grumble and pull him back in for a kiss.
Meredith immediately closes the door, regretting not checking before opening. "Seriously you guys?"
You reach for your shirt and cover your mouth to hide your giggles, Mark turns to you with a smirk. "How do you know we weren't trying to invite you?"
"Because you know better."
Your eyes widen.
"Hey, Bailey," he says with a cool tone.
"You two better be out of there in the next five minutes or-"
You open the door and run past the two. "See yah, Bails. See yah, Mer."
Mark stays there flabbergasted at how quickly you ran out the door, leaving him to deal with her.
-
He closes the door just as you finish making dinner. "You are evil."
You stick your bottom lip out, "I don't think so, I made dinner. I'm going to be feeding you, I'd consider that to be something nice."
"You left me to deal with that- that woman alone."
"I left you with Bails, you were fine."
"I was not fine. I was far from fine."
You click your tongue, "stop exaggerating."
"I'm not and you know it."
"Okay," you groan. "I'm sorry. I left you with Bailey and that wasn't nice."
"It wasn't." He wraps his arms around your waist, resting his head on your chest.
"I said sorry, don't be like this."
"I think I'm going to need a little more in order to forgive you."
You lean into him as you settle into his arms.
The monitor goes off and you're brought back to the reality of you being in the arms of your ex.
You push yourself out of his grasp and walk towards her room. "Hey, pumpkin."
She holds her arms out for you.
You pick her up, "how's my little baby?"
She babbles a response. "Dada?"
"He's still here, checking on dinner. Your favorite."
"Maccheese!"
You chuckle, "yeah."
"There's my favorite girl," he smiles at the happy little girl.
You observe the way they interact with a heavy heart, knowing you can't continue doing this with him.
-
"What happened?" Christina asks, practicing new sutures on a banana.
"Nothing happened-"
"You're not sleeping with McSteamy, something happened."
"I just- I realized we need to not fall back into old habits."
"Do you still love him?"
You hesitate to answer.
"I'll take that as a yes."
"Of course, of course I still love him, but I can't be in love with him-"
"Because he was an adulterous whore?"
"Yeah."
"Have you seen him with anyone else?"
"I didn't need to see anything if all the girls talked about him?"
"Did you ever think maybe they lied? Maybe they're jealous of the fact that you have a hot guy fawning over you and only you. What else would they do other than gossip?"
"How am I supposed to believe that?"
"Have you ever talked to him?"
"I'm scared."
"So is he."
"I don't want to get hurt again."
"He wouldn’t want to lose you again."
"Christina?"
"Yeah?"
"You're wise beyond your years."
-
You run to him, pulling him into the break room.
He attempts to get up. "Shut up and let me talk."
You take a deep breath, "I want to be with you, like we were before but we're not those people anymore. And- and I want you to be in Kara's life so you can watch her grow up but this," you gesture between the two of you.
"This can only work if we're honest and you don't leave me for a quick lay or else, I will put you in an OR and change things about you. I will not put myself or Kara on the line if you're not going to give us your all."
He nods, taking in everything you've said. He pushes himself off the couch and walks towards you and pulls you in for a hug. "I'm never letting you go," he mumbles into your hair. "Living without you was the worst time of my life."
Mark pulls away, cupping your cheek, staring into your eyes. "If you let me into your lives, I promise not to mess it up because you two are too important to me and I don't know if I'd be able to live without you."
You sniffle, chuckling at his dorky smile. "Then don't be an idiot and kiss me."
-
"Finally," Christina turns around, pointing to everyone. "You all owe me money."
"Us."
"You owe Mer and I money."
Derek makes his way towards them. "What are we looking at?" He smiles, "good, it's about time he got his act together."
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moonshynecybin · 10 days
Note
Your takes on Marc always feel so accurate so I’d like to hear more of what you think in reference to that ask
i thinkkkkk this ask was about the pre argentina post sepang period where marc is like. attempting to mend his relationship to valentino by pure force of will and also being very sweet but vale is a lil reticent if sometimes polite... estranged but still hanging on to that lethal chemistry. death would be kinder if your name is marc marquez. but im going to take a HARD turn into omegaverse land here so sorry to god and his motorcycle racers
SO i think marc obviously like. doesnt really want to believe its over. hes soooo in love here (and as a canonical late bloomer i dont think hes EVER had a heat without vale?? and he is discovering that he is in fact quite bad at dealing with them by himself?) and i really do think that, as hurt as he was by the sepang fallout, he really thinks vale will get over it with time ! and that eventually theyll be able to be as close as they were previously! as soon as he unblocks me the wedding is back on ! truly cannot imagine doing a heat with anyone else he feels literally cold down to his bones thinking about it. and its not even just the dynamic stuff... he misses the grabby hands on cooldown laps and the hugs in parc ferme and the way vale used to put his long fingers in marc's hair to put him where he wants him when they were fucking and the soft skin of his neck and how when vale would touch him everything in marc's brain could just go quiet. truly he feels it in his TEETH like the longing is LETHAL the longing is PHYSICAL the longing has marc IGNORING HIS BODY'S BASIC NEEDS and refusing to go out and find someone to spend a heat with that would actual resolve the hormonal part of his biology reaching for vale (and break that mf bond). so the heat never quite fully resolves! and he feels antsy and feverish and smells literally crazy for weeks at a time. every alpha in the paddock bristling when the wind changes direction... vale staring at the sky with his nails digging into his palms
so marc's already shaky self control is pushed to the limit by his body's insane hormonal situation (motogp doctor is like. technically he can ride !) and so for a few years he decides to kind of. wage this tentative little campaign to see if he can get vale to smile at him or literally touch him at all and relieve a little of the tension swimming around in his body. ANY relief. so he says hi to him every day. goes up to him in parc ferme. small little touches on the podium. just making vale smell like him a little bit. hind brain rejecting the reality where they havent really touched skin on skin in months. waiting for vale to take off his glove before he shakes his hand. BUT because this is omegaverse and i love DRAMA, what marc doesnt realize is that he is sort of. fortifying the beginning stages of a bond that they had started to form when they were fucking. a bond that WOULD have just died if he left it alone or found someone else, but he canttttt because hes oblivious and in love... AND THEN he gets another heat, and its SO much worse... like the effects are compounding, and he can barely see straight and he's feverish and shaking with big eye bags all pale and sad... and eventually alex notices and pulls the plug. says you will NOT get on a bike like this and marc gets permission to stop and basically COLLAPSES
but meanwhile vale is being driven INSANE this entire time because the bond wont DIE but its also not COMPLETED, and marc keeps TOUCHING HIMMMM and smelling insaneeee like hes in heat literally constantly and vale doesnt know what the ISSUE is.... and hes caught up in soooo much resentment but theres literally a base part of his body that cannot physically ignore marc whatsoever. so its an escalating arms race of horny frustration until marc suddenly pulls out of the race one weekend (the official line is for "dynamic reasons" which vale stares at for full minute wondering. is anyone taking care of marc like he would. caught between wanting him to be okay and feeling SICK thinking about another alpha helping him through any of it...) and then theres a knock at his motorhome door. and its alex marquez, looking tired and a little nervous. and he just says. i need your help. its marc.
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norcula · 1 year
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fever (min yoongi)
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“Eyes like ice, glaring red, breaking me in two, shaking me. Standing in front of your throne, a fire burns inside me. What I gotta do, my burning hands, reach out to you but I cannot have it, I cannot touch you, never, but I'm drawn to you. The more I hurt the more I want you.” - fever, enhyphen
genre/ratings: mature; university au; one shot, basketball player!yoongi; ex!hobi, fwb!hobi, the oc can also be read as a self insert, enemies to ?, slight slow burn, fluff, angst, slice of life, casual relationship, situationship 
warnings/words: sarcasm, cursing, extreme truth or dare, casual relationships, hedonism, drinking, mentions of mental illness, mentions of explicit sexual material, mentions of food,hospitals// over 9k 
a/n: hello, this might be the last fic of 2022. this was very, very fun to write. i love writing the enemies to allies to whatever trope. there’s just so much interesting stuff there. like hey, here’s all the stuff i hate about you but well, now, now that i know you it’s all the stuff i love about you because it makes you ‘you’ so...i hope you like it. might do a second part? but lemme know!!!!
playlist: fever by enhyphen/bad together by dua lipa/how long by tove lo/wrong love by alex aris/midnight by anthony russo/hustler by josef salvat/lips on you by maroon 5/best lover by bibi/attention whore by tove lo/unforgettable by french montana/seesaw by suga of bts/lavender haze by taylor swift
masterlist//love signs drabble series masterlist//one shot masterlist
_-_
"You're so full of shit."
This is the first thing you ever say to Min Yoongi.
"Excuse me?"
That's the first thing he ever says to you. 
"You heard me," you doubled down.
None of this, of course, seems strange to you. People like him - attractive frat boys who get white girl wasted on Saturdays trying to relive their high school days - are a dime a dozen. And most of them, you despise. Loathe. Absolutely detest. Min Yoongi was the worst of all.
"What's your problem, man?" He asks. You put your hands on your hips, shift you weight to your other leg as his gaze follows the movement. Typical. "You know she's gonna do it,” you reply. “She's gonna do whatever you say cause she wants to ride your dick."
The girl in question looks embarrassed. You'd be embarrassed too if some tattooed, foul-mouthed bitch in all black suddenly appeared and cock blocked you. Well, at least you did it before she went through with it. Dare or no dare, licking a party floor just cause he says so seems......insane and really, really unhygienic. It’ll probably lead to hand mouth and foot disease or some shit.
Min Yoongi chuckles, like he can't believe you had the gall to stand up to him. Then with a smirk, he saunters over. You give him your best Kubrick stare, your resting bitch face on full display.
"Yeah? You have experience with that?" He asks and you scoff.
"I don't even know who you are." 
"Min Yoongi." He introduces himself. You nod, turning your lips. Then you peer over him to look at the girl.
"No dick is worth that."
She runs off, crying. You cross your arms, watch the man in front of you. He looks annoyed. Good. "Damn. Thanks for that."
You flip him the middle finger. He scoffs, genuinely flabbergasted. "The least I deserve is the name of the person who killed my night."
"I'm sure you'll do just fine."
"Yeah? And here I thought you said you don't know me."
"I've met a billion guys like you."
"You've never met anyone like me." He leans and whispers. You visibly shudder, stepping away from him. Yoongi just stares at you.
"Ahh.....that was gross. Does the serial killer whispering actually work?"
While he looks like a deer caught in headlights, you cross the distance and very slowly say,
"Listen man, I'm just here for a drink. Don't fuck up my night."
Then you walk away. Yoongi watches you snake through the crowd. No. Not even that. It's like you're Moses parting the red sea. What the fuck was that? And who the fuck are you?
You don't see the dumb fucking look on his face. Too busy staring another man up and down. God, he looks good tonight. That Dior et Moi shirt and those dark trousers are doing him justice, elevating the whole hotness factor of the party by about a million. He turns just as you reach his side, rubbing your arm.
"You good?"
You nod as the people he was talking leave you alone. They know well enough to. It's not that you're intimidating exactly. You know you can come off that way. But people respect you. And they know nothing and no one comes between you and Jung Hoseok.
"Better, now that you're here."
"Always such a flirt."
"I only ever mean it with you." You say, squeezing his bicep. Yoongi watches the exchange. He's curious. You were such a menace to him. And yet, there you were, with some guy, being flirty and touchy and the perfect woman. The duality.....jeez, it was giving him whiplash. 
"Is that so?" Hobi inquires, leaning in. "And if I was some random stranger right now, what would you say?"
"I'd just stare at you from across the room."
Hobi laughs, holding his stomach and you watch him just a little entranced. He had a great laugh, the kind that poets wrote about and singers sang about, the kind that could light up a December night. 
"You did stare at me a lot the night we met." Hobi mentions casually. 
"It's not my fault. Do you even remember what you wore?” and then quietly, just to yourself, “Fucking hell......so hot."
"The sex was hotter, wasn't it?" He says, taking your hand in his. 
"I think the sex is hotter now."
With a kiss to the cheek, he leads you towards the stairs. 
"Come on, let’s prove you right."
_-_
"You're in my seat."
Min Yoongi stares up like you've grown a second head. You. What the hell were you......oh, come on. Did he really have to suffer an entire semester worth of classes because he forgot to register in time? Oh for fuck's sake....
"Did I stutter?" You demanded. Yoongi furrows his eyebrows together. Fine. Two can play at this game.
"Does the seat have your name on it?" The confused expression on your face gives him the slightest twinge of satisfaction.
"No but....."
"I'm not moving." He says firmly. You nod. And you dump your bags beside him. Then suddenly, you plop down on his lap, making him jump up, crashing into you mid-air before thudding down on the chair. 
"Ya!" Yoongi exclaims. 
"And now you're talking to me casually? Get out of my seat!"
Yoongi doesn't budge. And you settle in, really digging into his thighs. He hisses in pain, gripping the hand-rest when really he wanted to shove you off him. 
"The professor is gonna be here any minute. You really wanna explain this to her?" He implores, practically growling at you. You don’t say anything and simply fold your arms over your chest. What? What did Yoongi do to deserve this? he thinks to himself. What crime did he commit? He hadn’t run over any cats or hit any grandmas. Did he really deserve this?
"Fine, fine, I'll move. Get off me."
Min Yoongi admits defeat and you, well you, get your seat for the rest of the semester. The professor walks in just behind Jung Hoseok, who's the same guy Yoongi realizes you were talking to at that party. You wave him over.
"Hobi!"
"That was loud." Yoongi comments.
"Shut up." You say, scowling at him. Your expression completely flips as soon as the other man reaches you. "Did you get some sleep after....."
Hobi settles down next to you, taking out his class materials. Though, your comment does draw out a smirk.
"Just barely. I really need to stop.....going back to old habits." He says, the innuendo clear in his voice. 
"Some habits shouldn't ever be broken." You flirt back. Yoongi exhales loudly through his nose. God, these idiots aren't just cheesy but they aren't even subtle.
"We're talking about drugs, aren't we?" Yoongi interjects, purposefully getting in your space. 
"We..... " You say, gesturing to the space between you two, "aren't talking about anything. I'm having a private conversation with my......"
Well, what was he? Friend? Best friend? Confidant? Support system? Drinking buddy? Fuck buddy? You couldn’t decide. 
"Hobi." The man himself interjects. You shove him away from you as he tries to shake Yoongi's hand.
"No."
"Why not? I'm being polite." Hobi says, settling back down in his seat.
"You might catch something." You whisper. But Yoongi catches on, poking you on the wrist with the butt of his pen.
"I heard that!"
“Good. Now, shut up.”
_-_
Oh, God. Yoongi really did find you so completely unbearable. You were a menace in class. And then, after annoying you all day in those long ass workshop sessions for the class too, you had the gall to show up on his courtyard and ruin his lunch? Why did you have to be here? Couldn't you find somewhere else to exist?
"Why is Min Yoongi glaring at you from across the courtyard?"
"Who?"
You looked across to see the guy from class and that party a couple weeks ago, fully staring at you. He didn't even pretend to look away when your eyes met.
"Oh, that guy. I don't know. Maybe there's something in his eye."
"You know him well?"
Hobi was doing that thing where he pretended he didn't know the answer to the question he was asking just so you'd admit it yourself.
"Only biblically."
"You're not funny. Please don't sleep with that asshole."
"Hoseok-ssi, I thought you were gonna be less of an ex this semester."
"I am your ex. And I don't want you to get hurt."
"Unless his dick is made of barbed wire, I doubt I'll get hurt."
"Hey, listen to me. That guy is bad news."
"Really? Was it the Harley or the fuckboi hair that gave it away?"
You both turned in sync watching Min Yoongi straddle his bike and put on his helmet. Fuck. It was hot. And from the way Hobi was swallowing, you knew he was in agreement.
Shaking his head, he turns to look at you. "Can you just be serious for one second and not have a witty comeback for everything?"
Hobi shakes you and finally, you turn to him and say, "Yes. I'm listening."
"He sleeps around. A lot. Most girls on campus have either slept with him or want to sleep with him. He's practically a walking STD."
"Nasty." You say, scrunching up your nose. Yoongi sees it from where he is. And he can't deny that it's cute. But then he catches himself. No, no. You were annoying. A menace. You were always going to be a problem in his life. And things should just stay that way.
"I'm telling you.....just....stay away from him."
You cup his cheek, patting him lightly. Hobi leans in to your touch and Yoongi well, he feels something. He's not sure what though. But he's not gonna stick around long enough to find out.
"You're too good to me. Remind me to tell my next boyfriend how he'll never compare." You tease Hobi. He kisses your palm and says, "Every goddamn day."
The sound of a roaring engine bursts your bubble, grips everyone's attention. Min Yoongi zips away to God knows where, leaving behind a storm of dust and throbbing pussies in his wake.
_-_
You should've said no. You really, really should've just said no. No, unnie, I can't help you with this profile you're writing on the star of the basketball team. Why? Oh, cause we fucking hate each other and if it was legal and harmless in the long run, we'd probably set each other on fire.
But you didn't say no. How could you? She'd done a lot worse for you. So you found yourself watching basketball more intently than you ever had, taking notes, googling furiously in between.
The team wins by a large margin and you find yourself in one of the physical therapy rooms unnie had sorted out with the university to use. You wait for what seems like forever, almost giving up when Min Yoongi walks in completely shirtless.
Shit. He has tattoos?
His chest and upper arms were completely covered in intricate designs - most of them line work but some extremely detailed portraits too in black. You swore, you could hear your heart thudding against your ribs.
"Why the fuck are you.....here?" Yoongi asks, the annoyance evident in his voice. 
"Ummm........I'm covering for Hee-do unnie. She's ill."
"Right, okay, then I'll reschedule." He says, turning on his heel to leave. 
"Or....we could just get it out of the way. I'm here anyways." You say, unfolding the notebook in your hand. 
"You seriously wanna interview me?" He asks, incredulous. You hated him. Sometimes he thought you tormented him on purpose - clicking your pen in class, bouncing your knee up and down, eating in the courtyard every day just when he had to be there, showing up to his team’s parties because your ex Hobi was a friend of a friend or something. God, he really hated how he had to watch that whole thing unfold too - watch you just use him. Yoongi was sure you were. You wouldn’t date the guy, according to mutual friends. And you wouldn’t cut things off. But you kept sleeping together. Honestly, Yoongi felt sorry for the guy. 
But worse than all of that, he hated this. He hated that as soon as he entered the room, he knew you were there. He knew you wore YSL Black Opium perfume and that you sprayed it in your hair. In his defense, he only found out about after hooking up with some third year a couple weeks ago. He couldn’t go back there. He couldn’t stand being reminded of you. 
"About as much as you wanna talk to me. But we're stuck. Let's just....get it done."
"Fine."
_-_
"Are you gonna put on a shirt?"
"Why? Am I making you nervous?"
"You smell."
"I do not......." He did. Yoongi grabbed the closest thing he could find, a towel of questionable cleanliness and draped it over his shoulders. 
"Whatever. Let's just start.....you guys won. Congrats. What did you think of your performance today?"
"Well, I think everyone tried their best. We communicated really well and we all pitched in to help each other. There was something in the air.....you know? Tonight felt right." He says very matter-of-factly. It was so boring, you wanted to shove your face into the ice bath you were next to. 
"Sounds insane. But okay....."
"Ya..... interviewers don't make comments." Yoongi says quickly. 
"And interviewees don't talk casually." You remind him. "Next. You've been the highest point earner...."
"Point earner? The fuck...." Yoongi laughs out loud. It was the single most ridiculous thing he’d heard a lead scorer be called. 
"Whatever. You get the most points, right?"
"So far, yeah."
"Is that because you rely heavily on your 3-pointers cause you're too short for layups?"
"Bold and false assertion." Yoongi says. 
"Just answer the question." You demand. 
"Ask a better one."
"Why do you think you rely so heavily on 3 pointers?"
"I'm a shooting guard." He says like it’s the most obvious thing on the planet. It probably was. And it made you feel stupid for not knowing. Fuck him, for shoving it in your face though. 
"But is that all you are? All you have to be?" You ask. "You cross half court and you stop. You don't pass it to open teammates, you don't dribble forward. It's like.....there's a magnetic field that stops you from going across the free throw line."
"I......."
"Why is that? Your teammates rely on you. Of course they do. You're good. But you've got a wall around you. And no one can pierce through unless you let them."
"That wasn't really a question."
"I don't know why I asked.....I.....I should go. I'll.....tell Hee-do to rearrange the interview."
_-_
“What do you mean I have to interview him again?” 
“You also need to take over my place on the paper.” 
“UNNIE!”
“Long story short, I’m pregnant.”
“Oh. OH.”
“Yeah.”
“What are you gonna do?”
“What I have to.” It gets very quiet between you over the phone. But the message couldn’t be clearer. “Anyways, I’ll be out a couple months after, my parents are moving to Seoul to stop “a disaster like this from happening again” and I need you to take over.”
“I’m sure there’s someone more qualified.....I don’t even understand basketball.”
“Time to Google shit.”
“Unnie......”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think this would happen.”
“I know.”
“This isn’t how I wanted my life to go.” Her voice cracks and you feel your heart ache. Fuck. How did this even happen? Things were fine. Your friend was happy and healthy and now, it’s all gone to shit. 
“I know. I know, unnie. What can I do? Should I take you to....”
“Just take my place. I wouldn’t trust anyone else with it.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah, okay.”
“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I’ll speak to you soon, okay?!”
And then she was gone.
_-_
“Are you stalking me?”
You turn around to see Min Yoongi standing in the hallway as players and fans and everyone else mill around. 
“I’m the official basketball correspondent.” You state simply, pointing to your press pass. It was mostly for show but for the first time, you felt official and capable and not at all like the ticking emotional time-bomb you actually were. Yoongi takes the laminated card between his fingers and examines it. And you’re stunned to silence 
“That’s not a real thing.”
“It’s.....” You stumble. Come on. You can form words. Words. Remember those? 
“It’s just what the hoobaes get assigned over and over again cause none of the sunbaes want to cover minutes. They want the profile. So, who’s writing my profile?”
“I have no idea. Why? You gonna sleep with them so they paint you a saint?” You say, finally getting back into the groove of things. See? This is how it’s supposed to be - you and Yoongi roasting each other into oblivion. 
“I want the truth printed. Besides, if you get assigned my profile again, the last thing I want is to be around you more than I have to.”
“Good to know we’re on the same page. Now, where’s the coach?” Yoongi points behind him. “Locker room.”
“Okay......I’ll wait.” 
“Just go.....go in there.” He encourages. You have every reason to mistrust him. You think about the first time you met him. But surely, he wouldn’t get in the way of your job. 
“People are changing.”
“No, everyone should be done by now.”
Begrudgingly, you go in. Immediately, screams follow. You burst back out and punch Yoongi squarely in the stomach. He groans in pain. When he has enough strength to look up, he sees you walking away, middle finger jutting in his direction. 
“Tell the coach I wanna interview him, Captain!”
_-_
“You’re still working?”
Hobi asks, when you open the door and let him in. He carries the food in and in a few minutes, piles it on to plates for the two of you. It’s been like this since you’d taken over at the paper for Hee-do. At first, you didn’t really see anyone, too busy getting the feel of things and hitting those deadlines. And you did fuck up. A lot. And get yelled at a lot. But now, it felt like breathing. You couldn’t remember not doing it. You didn’t want to go back to that time. 
This was the first time you’d actually planned on seeing each other, the first time he hadn’t just stopped by with food because he knew you’d forget to eat.
“It’s just the catch up for today’s game.”
“Basketball?”
“Mmh.”
Hobi brushes his fingers across the newspapers strewn across your desk. Your name was plastered across them. Usually, beneath another. A name he couldn’t stand. Min Yoongi. 
Hobi never considered himself to be a jealous man. He was understanding of most things - last minute cancellations, friendships expiring without reason, ghosting like it was a habit. But when you started at the paper, you spent more and more time with Min Yoongi and less and less time with him. It infuriated him. And it really shouldn’t be. He knows that. You weren’t his. Even when you were in a relationship, you were both independent. And sure, Hobi always wanted to be closer. Hobi wanted to know more. Hobi wanted to be there for you. But along the way, he’d accepted there was only so much you were capable of giving. 
And he was okay with having you in his life in some capacity than none at all. 
Right? 
Wrong. 
Turns out, he wasn’t okay with another man in the picture. He didn’t know the details. He didn’t ask. He doesn’t think he can live with them if he knew. But he knew there was something. What started out as pure hatred, somehow, somewhere melted to begrudging ally-ship. And now? Now, you wouldn’t talk about Min Yoongi. And you would pretend you didn’t see him across the courtyard. It was like you were trying to hide him. It was intentional. And Hobi, well, Hobi wasn’t just a pretty face. He knew. He just knew. 
But it doesn’t come up. You eat. And you fuck. And you lay there beside each other like you have a thousand times before - right next to each other but so far away. 
"That was....."
"Great. As usual." You state matter-of-factly. And it was. It really was. But you kept getting distracted. You couldn't stay in the moment. Maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe now just wasn't the right time. Your head was still filled with the words of the story - with the way the visiting team kept fouling, with the the bad calls the ref made, the ripped up banner someone had set on fire. But most of all, and you really, you couldn’t admit it to yourself. Your head was filled with Min Yoongi. 
He was actually really good, now that you had a handle on the semantics of the game. He was fast and effective and he wanted to win. You could see it in the smooth movement of his shots and the effortless, water like motions of his hands as he passed, and the steady galloping of his feet across the court. You could see it in the sweat dripping down his temple and the stretch of fabric across his thighs. You could see it in his eyes. 
Hobi can hear how off you sound in a heartbeat. "Are you actually annoyed cause it was great?"
You turn to him, suddenly aware of where you are and who you’re with and with the fakest smile you can muster, you say,
"I'm just thinking what a loss I endured breaking up with you."
Hobi smiles, knowing full well you don't mean it this time. You slip on a t-shirt before flicking your hair up and away from yourself. He looks down, at the dark purple bedsheets he's become so familiar with, pinches a bit between his thumb and index finger.
"Why did you break up with me?" He asks, breaking his cardinal rule - don’t lose your shit. You immediately want to ask, "where is this coming from?" But you stop. Think about it for as long as your brain will allow. You’re not surprised. Things have been....off. They’ve felt off. What started out as a casual thing after your breakup - easy, effortless and exciting - felt like a chore. Sometimes, you don’t even know if you could call yourselves broken up. You still did the same things, acted the same way. Just without the label. It was your idea. In your head, if love was a drug, it was better to wean yourself carefully. 
But you’d never withdrawn. 
Hobi was still in your system. 
And you don’t know if you still wanted him to be there. 
"You're too good for me, Hoba." You admit, truthfully.
"I don't agree with that."
"No? You don't think I'm cold? That I'm a bitch? That I'm honest to a fault? That I pretend to want to fuck assholes cause it's fun?"
"I think......asking you to move in with me freaked you out. And you......you felt trapped. And this.....us breaking up was the only thing you could imagine to do."
Oh. OH. That. You’d forgotten about that.
"How perceptive of you." You say, cupping his cheek.
"I never meant to.....freak you out. You were at my place all the time anyways. I thought....if you lived with me, we could share the rent, we could....."
"You're a terrible liar."
"I am, aren't I?" Hobi says, trying to bring a little levity into a conversation that felt like it literally was breaking his heart. 
"The worst. You love me. That's why you asked. And I love you. That's why I said no."
This is cruel, even by your standards. You rise to your feet, gather your things. 
"Hey, hey, wait......where are you going?"
"Need to clear my head.”
“Now? It’s 1 in the morning.”
You tug on a thick jacket before grabbing your keys and saying,
"Lockup before you go."
_-_
"Why did you keep me waiting?" You ask Yoongi, annoyed after yet another game. Apparently, the news team at your university was hellbent on saddling you with producing Min Yoongi content forever. You’d been tasked with finishing the reporting of his profile just so one of the older writers could take credit for it. Typical. But unsurprising. And at this stage, you had no choice but to do it. 
"You say there's more to me than being shooting guard. Shouldn't you at least find out what that is?"
Yoongi nods. Then he leads you out of the gymnasium to the parking lot where his bike was sitting. You’d never been so close to it. But it was massive - spray painted a glossy black with hints of silver, gold and red. You were too distracted by it to notice Yoongi handing you his helmet, under it was digging into your side. 
“Love at first sight?”
“Pretty much.” 
“I don’t blame you,” he says, hopping on. “I remember my first time.”
“Yeah, okay. Save the story for later, old man. It’s freezing. Let’s go.” You say, climbing on behind him. Your hands hover over his shoulders, before finally settling on the tiny guard behind you. Yoongi peers over and chuckles. Then he reaches over and gingerly takes your hand in his. 
“You get a free pass tonight, Chief.”
Then he tugs you forward, wrapping your arms around his waist. He’s so warm against you, you almost collapse against him. “But don’t get too comfortable.”
Instantly, you straighten.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
_-_
"These are good." You say pointing to your plate. 
"Did you doubt my judgement?"
"I always doubt your judgement."
"So, you like pancakes after matches?"
"I like pancakes all the time."
"And parties?"
"I dabble."
"You live in a frat."
"No, I don't. What gave you that impression?"
"The backwards hat."
"Ah, so you stereotyped me."
"You were also daring a girl to lick the floor."
"It was a dare. People play truth or dare all the time. I once ate dog food. It's whatever."
"That's definitely going into the article."
"Great. Now the furries will send me dms again."
"Again?"
"I think I posted a thirst trap with fuzzy handcuffs or something."
"Or something......" You tease. 
"Few years ago. There was an influx."
"I'm sure our readers would love to know if you're part of the furrie community."
"I am not. It was a dare."
"Dare. That word comes up a lot with you. What does that word mean to you?"
"I think......dares are a way for you to be yourself completely in a judgement free zone. It's like.... societally approved nudity. You get to push boundaries, you get to cross some, you get to set some. It's all this marvelous ebb and flow of everything that makes us human - our creativity, our ambition, our courage, our desire to be liked. It's really....liberating."
"So, you can be eloquent." You tease again. 
"You're just a dinosaur. Do you seriously think if someone's a jock they can't be smart?”
"In my defense, you also ride a Harley."
"Wait, you ride a Harley?" You both look up to see a young woman looking at Yoongi. He flashes his best smirk and you snort. His lip twitches in annoyance but his confidence, that does not falter. 
"Mmh mmh. I also play basketball."
"Pass." She says, flipping her hair and walking away. You burst into silent laughter. Yoongi turns to you, readying to offer a witty retort but then he sees you. He really sees you - your shoulders shaking, your eyes closing, your teeth on full display. You laugh with your whole body. And Yoongi, suddenly, doesn’t know what to say. 
"That was great. Watching you strike out will never fail to make me happy."
"That's not very......feminist of you."
"Listen, you wanna be a slut, be a slut. I believe in equality. I just think it shouldn't apply to you."
"And why not?"
"I don't trust you."
"And yet, you still want me." He says, attempting to flirt. "It's not about you. I don't trust anyone, especially ones with your reputation. But sure. Yeah. Are you gonna give me a ride?" He wiggles his eyebrows at you.
"On your Harley."
"You like a little danger?"
"I like having something powerful between my legs." You lean in, "come on, where to next?"
_-_
"So you like a view."
People milled around going from store to store, eating and laughing at outdoor restaurants, trying their best to stay warm. 
"I'm partial to one now and then."
"Come on. Give me something. Why here? No Namsan tower, no sea, no mountains."
"The whole world is here." Yoongi says. "There's people from every place on earth. They're drinking and having fun and laughing and being alive. It's the most human thing in the world. And I......"
"You don't join them?"
"Never."
"How come?"
"Then it stops being fun."
"Real connection is not a threat, Min Yoongi. In fact, it can be.....a miracle."
"Does it feel like a miracle being with Jung Hoseok?"
"What?"
"Your boyfriend."
"We're not dating."
"I just.....thought....."
"We used to date. But we're not anymore."
"How come?"
"We're interviewing you."
"Come on. Be human. Tell me something real."
You didn’t owe him shit. You knew that. And clearly, he wouldn’t give a shit beyond this moment right now. So, maybe, this was the perfect time to admit the truth. 
"He wants to build a home here. I want to see the world."
"Ah.....that's tough."
"That's tough. I'm never telling you anything ever again."
"Sorry, I didn't know what to say." Yoongi defends. 
"Then just say that, dumbass."
"Fine."
A few moment later, as the wind howled past, you say, "Can I ask you something?"
"Do you think you distance yourself from any opportunities to make real connections because you're afraid of getting hurt? So, you sleep around."
"I don't."
"What?"
"I know.....hard to believe. After all, I do look like this." He said pointing to his body. 
"Yoongi-ssi."
He smirks, shoving his hands into his pockets. 
"Someone started calling me man-whore during first year. And I.....never corrected them."
"Why not?"
"Because it's currency," he says. "My perceived game is what I leverage in and what determines every social interaction - how many friends I have, what kind of friends I have, which girls like me, which don't....on and on it goes. It's quite the nimble bit of calculation."
"Must be tough....." You tease and Yoongi bursts into laughter. It’s quiet for the most part but he smiles so widely, you can see his gums and the crinkles by his eyes and the way his cheeks turn red in the cold. The sight of him collapses something inside you, like a building standing on its last bones, ready to give in to the embrace of the cold, hard ground. 
“I do think it must be tough. You don't have anyone to trust, really."
"Yeah, well. No one really knows me. Who would I trust?"
_-_
Hobi doesn't know what the fuck he's doing here.
You hadn't agreed to meet him. There were no plans. No text messages. No calls. Nothing. But he felt compelled to stop by your apartment, as though some mystical force was calling him towards you.
He shoved his hands into his pockets, looking up at the cloudy sky. How did he even get here? 
The sound of a roaring engine snaps him out of his thoughts. He looks up to see a Harley pulling up. He moves just slightly out of view and watches as the passenger unwraps her hands from the driver's waist, slipping over his shoulders and resting on his arm as she climbs off. They both have their helmets on but the driver watches her carefully, hand reaching out to her waist to balance her.
Shit. There's two people very into each other.
The woman turns, back to him and finally takes off her helmet. The driver joins her, revealing a long-haired Min Yoongi.
"Thanks for the ride." You tell him, propping the helmet on the backseat. 
"Anytime."
"I.......I'll give the sunbaes all my notes and they'll be in touch if there's any follow up questions."
"You should write it."
"What? Why?"
"Cause you know me."
You couldn't tell if Yoongi meant that literally.
"Grey ethical area in journalism."
"Since when do you care about that shit?"
"I don't. But I.....I can't write."
"At all?"
"No, you little shit. I don't know the first thing about profile writing."
"Figure it out. Or you can't publish."
"Ya......"
"Oh, so we're talking casually now?" He asks, amusement evident on his face. 
"Fine, yeah. Okay."
"Okay."
"Bye, kid."
"I'm not a kid."
"Sure, kid."
The woman finally turns and Hobi's jaw drops to the floor. You're smiling. And you're trying very hard not to. He feels his heart squeeze in his chest - like it's being strangled by the world's strongest person.
You look forward as you draw closer and Hobi slips completely out of view. Min Yoongi watched you the whole time, eyes glued to your retreating frame. A few moments later, you're inside and he drives off. And Hobi pulls out his phone,
Hoba: I'm coming over.
No reply. Nothing. Absolute silence for a solid half hour. Finally, his phone dings and he unlocks his phone to see your message,
Jagi: Not tonight.
_-_
A few weeks later, Yoongi opens his phone to a message from you.
The Woman: Check the school paper's website.
Pain-in-the-ass: Why?
The Woman: Just do it.
He opens a new tab and doesn't even have to scroll as the headline reads,
"Who is Min Yoongi?"
"Players in his position often cultivate an image. And that image, to their benefit and detriment, follows them around. Min Yoongi's image is not who he is.
Immediately after winning the big game against SNU, he sat for an interview with me in a therapy room, giving his teammates and coaches high praise.
"Well, I think everyone tried their best. We communicated really well and we all pitched in to help each other. There was something in the air.....you know? Tonight felt right."
Sounds stupid, right? He writes off his hard work to something intangible, something divine. He keeps saying there's something in the air that night. Slowly, I start to believe him.
As a post win celebration, we sit in the neighbourhood's only western style diner, eating pancakes. I ask him about his choice. He shrugs.
"I'm a top athlete. I have to treat my body like a temple." Then he scarfs down another piece of pancake lathered in syrup.
This dry sense of humour is just one of the things that makes him so well-liked among his peers, romantic prospects and hell, even his teachers. There's an edge to him. A little bit of "come-a-little-closer-and-see-what-happens". That night, it intrigues a young woman enough to ask him about his Harley. It doesn't work out, much to his disappointment. But hey, he'll be damned if he doesn't try. He'll try anything once. He'll do anything on a dare.
"Dare. That word comes up a lot with you. What does that word mean to you?"
"I think......dares are a way for you to be yourself completely in a judgement free zone. It's like.... societally approved nudity. You get to push boundaries, you get to cross some, you get to set some. It's all this marvelous ebb and flow of everything that makes us human - our creativity, our ambition, our courage, our desire to be liked. It's really....liberating."
Liberation. Freedom. Choice. These are all things come up throughout our conversation as he takes me then to a spot to people watch. Crowds mill around, laughing and drinking and being everything in their power to make the most of their lives. I ask him why here.
"The whole world is here."
And until he can see it for himself, it will do.
"Yes?" You answer on the second ring as he calls you. 
"I just read it."
"What?"
"The story."
"Ah, that."
"Thank you for writing it." Yoongi tells you sincerely. And he can practically see you shrugging even through the phone call before you say,
"Why are you thanking me? It's no big deal."
"I disagree. You gave up precious time to do it. Not to mention, put aside your absolute loathing of me."
"Yeah, well....."
"You were fair and introspective and I think you did a really good job." 
You don’t say anything in response and the line is so quiet, Yoongi thinks you’ve hung up on him. 
"Okay....that's all I wanted to say."
"Okay."
"Bye."
"Bye."
_-_
The sympathy sex is record breaking.
Yoongi seriously cannot believe how many women want to comfort him, want to just "be there" for him and take away all his worries and insecurities. It's the last thing he expected. And it's the thing he makes the absolute most of. Some days it’s fun. Some days, it fills the gaping chasm in his chest. Some days, he’s not really there with them, floating somewhere high above himself, watching. Some days he imagines another pair of eyes on him, another pair of lips whispering how much they want him, another pair of hands splaying across his skin until it’s the only thing he knows, the only thing he thinks he’s ever known in his whole life with absolute certainty.  
Then the bubble bursts. And he’s brought back to reality - the classes and the deadlines and the parties he shows up to because at least then, he gets to see you in the flesh. At least then, you don’t just have to live in his fantasies. 
You get a first hand taste of his newfound notoriety when you watch a small group of women fawn all over him at some party. You take a lick of your ice-cream, hoping it'll cool your rage off. But it does nothing. Just then, Yoongi looks over to see you - Hobi fast approaching from the back.
"Oh, you're really going for it, aren't you?” Hobi teases, still a little unsure of where you stand but ignoring it nonetheless. “I'm not surprised. You've always liked a challenge." You scoff.
"Wonder why I like you then."
"Cause under all those BDSM tendencies is just a big ol softie wanting to be treated like a...." You glare at him. "You say princess and I'll stab you with this spoon" Hobi smirks, adding "princess."
"Oh, you brat." He squeezes your chin, drawing out of a soft sound of submission. "If I recall, you were always the brat."
When he pulls apart, you can already feel the heat pooling between your legs. "Remind me why we broke up."
"Cause I don't have a Harley and fuckboi hair?"
"It's all fun and games. He gets riled up."
"And you like to tease."
"It's non-committal."
"It's prolonging the inevitable."
"Which is what?"
"I know you,” Hobi says like it’s a universal truth - there’s no room for doubt or question. “You don't do this shit with people you don't actually like."
"Me? Like that Neanderthal?"
"Putting his man whore tendencies aside, he is sort of brilliant." Hobi can barely bring himself to admit. 
"I don't understand how. Where's the time to study Plato and adverse selection when you're fucking some girl's tits?"
"He makes time. He's in my philosophy class. He's really......smart, smart like you."
"That's high praise. You sure you're not the one who likes him?"
"So you do like him."
"Like I said....."
"Sure, babe. I believe you." He leans down, kisses your neck. Yoongi's grip stiffens around the blonde's waist at the sight. You watch his reaction. Why was he looking at you with his pick of gorgeous women fawning all over him?
"Come on. Let's take this somewhere a little more private."
You suggest. Hobi nods. You take his hand in yours and pull him forward. Yoongi's eyes follow your retreating figure until one of the women asks what's wrong.
Yeah, Yoongi, what's wrong?
_-_
"It's been a while." 
You peer up from where you were sitting, splashing water with your feet at the edge of the swimming pool. "Didn't think I'd see you here."
"Yeah, well, that tends to happen when you're avoiding someone." Yoongi says. I mean, it wasn’t untrue. 
"I can't be seen with you."
"Why?"
"Because people have started leaving me threatening messages - girls saying they'll murder me, boys calling me slut who slept her way to getting a viral article. I didn't sign up for this, Yoongi."
He really had no idea. And he felt like shit for not putting it together. Of course, something had happened. It wasn’t like you just to disappear. It wasn’t like you to not reply for days to his messages and eventually, his calls. At first, Yoongi thought he’d done something. And maybe he had - the man could admit he wasn’t the most self aware nugget in the lunch box. And sure, you didn’t owe each other anything. For all he knew, you put aside your unadulterated hatred of him for a few moments to do your job. Had he misunderstood? Did everything that happened that night after the game mean nothing? The thought made him feel stupid. He shouldn’t have.....assumed. Anything. 
"I'm sorry."
"Wait, were you here to....." The worst possible thoughts spring to his mind. But you’re quick to shake your head. 
"No. It's just.....the only place that's quiet and away from all the eyes following me around all day."
"I'm sorry."
"Ya.....I heard you. You don't have to keep saying it."
"Still.....I'm....."
"Come on. Where's that dickhead from a few months ago, huh? Bring that fucker back. Come on. Be rude to me."
You shove him away from you. But he doesn't respond, too caught up thinking about how you've suffered while he's been having the time of his life. It wasn't fair. He knew that. But Yoongi didn't know what to do to make you feel better.
If you were being honest, you didn’t blame him. You understood what it was like to a degree. When you’re in the bubble of fame and fun, who would take the time to look around at the wreckage they’ve left behind? Besides, you didn’t exactly expect Yoongi to come to your apartment and ask you how you are. You weren’t friends. You still thought he hated you, put up with you because he needed the publicity, which made absolute sense. It was perfectly logical. Still, you couldn’t deny the sour taste it had left in your mouth. 
You wanted him to be different. 
You wanted him to actually give a shit, especially after that night you rode through Seoul. But he wasn’t an idea. He was a person. You couldn’t shape him and mould him to be a character in a story the way you wanted to. You had to accept that. You had to. 
You push him again. He bounces back immediately.
"Stop."
"Come on, Yoongi-ah,” he softens a little at the nickname. “Don't be so serious."
You try to push him again but he catches your hands in his. Everything stills for a moment.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"What difference would it make?"
"What difference.....I could've done something."
"No, you couldn't have."
"Well, I could've tried."
"You feel guilty. And you want me to absolve it."
"Yes. But I also.....I don't want you to be in pain." He admits. You don’t know what to do with the confusing storm feelings in your chest right now. So, you deflect. 
"You're being such a buzzkill right now."
"Sorry."
"Ya.....I said stop saying that!"
In your struggle you tip over, pulling him into the swimming pool with you. When you surface, you wipe your face and blink rapidly. Yoongi reaches over, brushing some hair out of your face and thumb eventually resting on your cheek. And there it is again - that stillness.
"Which K-drama did you pick that up from?"
"Come on. We should go."
_-_
"Look things got out of hand." Hobi admits. 
"The only reason I'm not punching you in the face right now is because I haven't had my coffee." You say, opening the door.
"I told I....."
"I don't care what you told me. I can't deal with this." You tell him. This was ridiculous. Why did you have to deal with this? Why couldn’t people just be fucking adults and deal with their feelings instead of taking it out on you? 
"You mean you can't deal with me."
"Yeah."
"Cause I'm a problem you have to deal with, right? Something to fix?"
"Hobi, you're being so difficult."
"That's not what you said before. You said you didn’t wanna cover basketball anymore, that you were sick of him."
He was right. You had said that. But you hated the way he emphasized it, hated the way he stressed on the word - like you were some two dimensional female lead who wouldn’t pass the Bechdel test. It didn’t really matter. It didn’t matter what feelings the post game interviews, and the pancakes and the views and the motorcycle ride elicited. Hobi had crossed a line he couldn’t uncross. And there are consequences. 
"Your little stunt just made me realize that no matter what I do, someone will still wanna fuck me over. So.....might as well live my life, you know?"
"And he's.....he's worth all that?"
"This isn’t about him. Now, get out."
He leaves without protest. You have a few brief minutes of absolute quiet before there’s a knock again at the door. 
"Hobi, I told you......Yoongi."
"Hey."
"It's too early for this. Also, how the fuck do you know where I live?”
"I had to fight your Hee-do unnie to find you. You weren’t picking up or responding. Are you okay?
"Why wouldn't I be?" 
"Those pictures?" Oh. Right. Those fucking things. Those pictures Hobi had taken and then spread across the worldwide web. The pictures that looked like Yoongi and you were sharing a romantic moment in a swimming pool. The pictures that decimated what was left of your reputation, pegging you a journalist with no integrity who sleeps with her sources and bolstered Yoongi’s, to a player who pulled Jung Hoseok’s ex. God. Fuck the internet. 
"It's not gonna kill anyone." You say, not believing your own words. 
"You're not upset? I thought you said you didn't wanna be seen with me."
"Yeah but when do we ever get what we want?"
"I'll find out who leaked it, ask them to take it down." Yoongi says. 
"It was Hobi. And I'm sure there's screenshots floating around anyways. It would be pointless to take the original post down."
"Hobi.....wait.....why would he....."
"Because he's jealous of you."
"Why would he be jealous?"
"You should ask him that. Frankly, I’m too angry too give a shit. So, if there’s nothing else....” You say, holding the door open.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine. Goodbye, Yoongi.”
_-_
What a mess.
You looked down at your notes spread across the floor. You were trying to piece together the answer for a particularly difficult mock exam question, something you’d forgotten was a real and imminent danger in the mess with Hobi and Yoongi. You couldn’t think about them right now. You shouldn’t. So you tried to find the goddamn answers to this paper. But you couldn't find it. Rolling up your sleeves, you stand on your bed, trying to see if you could find anything from an aerial point of view. But everything looked even worse from up top. You dropped down, sitting cross legged and rifling through the papers again. You'd find it even if it killed you.
And it almost did.
At 4 in the morning, you wake up to the sharp ringing of your phone. You pick up, still half asleep,
"I didn't think you'd answer." Yoongi says. 
"Then why'd you call?"
"Just checking on you." Yoongi says before he gets too in his head again. He’d already picked up the phone and thrown it on the sofa like.....three times before finally plucking up the courage to even dial and press call. His hands were so sweaty and his heart was thumping in his chest and God, he felt like a lovesick teenager only that can’t be, right? He wasn’t in love with you. That’s absurd. He was just being a nice person. Right? Right? 
"Fuck off. I don't have time for sentiment. I need answers."
"Answers?"
"Stupid mock exam answers.....it's here.....somewhere."
"Do you need help?"
"What are you gonna do?"
"I take offense to that."
"I don't care. Goodbye."
Half an hour later, you’re face to face with a fluffy haired, hoodie donning, grey sweatpants wearing Yoongi. 
"I hate you."
"I brought reinforcements." He says holding up your favourite convenience store snacks, which he only knows about because you always carried something in your bag during your interviews and it was fun to steal them from you. You snatch it from him. 
"Good man. Now, I just need to finish. Just need to....."
"Okay, okay. Hey! Hey! Are you....."
_-_
Hobi really hates hospitals. It’s not just the antiseptic smell. It’s the fluorescent lights. But most of all, it was the families waiting in agony for news about their loved ones. He swore to himself he wouldn’t be in that position. And yet, after running through the Seoul streets and rushing to this over-crowded hallway, here he was. "I'm sorry. But this area is for family only." The nurse informs him. He nods, replying, "I'm her emergency contact." The nurse points him to the general beds when he hears his name. 
"Hoseok-ssi." 
"Yoongi-ssi. Why are you here?"
"I was with her when she fainted."
"Of course you were."
"We were just studying."
"I don't wanna know."
"Listen man......she never wanted things to end up this way."
"And how the fuck would you know?"
"I may not know what happened exactly but I know she loves you, even when she hates you."
Hobi leaves him behind and moves ahead, crossing the threshold and finds you lying motionless. Instinctively, he wants to take your hand in his and make sure you’re okay. But you hate him now. And he tells himself he has to hate you too. Maybe then it’ll be a little bearable. Maybe then he could forgive himself for doing what he did. 
"Yoongi." You say quietly, eyes still closed. 
"It's Hobi."
"Hi." Your eyes snap open, searching for his face. 
"You still have me as your emergency contact."
"Oh."
"You good?"
"Yeah."
"Great. I can get out of here then." Hobi shoots up to leave, bounding towards the exit but halts in his tracks suddenly. Sighing, he says, 
"He's in the waiting room."
_-_
"Hey, hey."
"You're still here.” You say as they wheel you out. Yoongi presses his lips together, crouching by you. 
"Where else would I be?"
"She needs rest and fluids. And less stress." The doctor says. 
"You hear that? You can't get stressed."
"All I do is get stressed." You retort. 
"Well, then you'll end up here again. Take care of her." 
"I will."
Yoongi reaches out to help you but you just swat him away. 
"I will. Get off me. I don't need a babysitter."
"How about a crutch?"
You comply, wrapping an arm around his waist. He holds you upright as you test out your balance. 
"You scared the shit out of me. I really thought......."
"That's cause you're an idiot."
"Ya......."
"Sorry. I'm not used to people caring about me."
"Who said I care about you? I just didn't want to be falsely accused of murder again."
"Again?"
"Long story."
"How are you feeling?"
"Tired. But fine."
"When we get home, you're not touching your laptop or your phone."
"I have a final in two days."
"You can study tomorrow.
"Fine."
_-_
"Doting Min Yoongi was not in my yearly bingo card."
"I am not doting. I am simply....."
He was. He made you soup. He bundled you up in three blankets. He put a heat-pack near your feet after he’d put on wooly socks. 
"Yeah, yeah, hand me the remote."
"Are you done with finals?" You ask. "Yeah. Yesterday."
"Is that why you called me at 4 in the morning? Hoping for a booty call?"
"You're not the first on that list."
"Which list am I first on?" You joke. He panics, and thanks the heaven for the kettle. "Oh, look at that, the tea's done."
He holds the cup to your lips and says, "Blow."
"You telling me what to do?"
"I wouldn't dare. But it’s hot. So, blow.”
“You gotta buy me dinner first.”
Yoongi smiles and then holds out the cup as you take careful sips. 
"You don't have to stay." You inform him. 
"I'm fine."
"Okay. I'm just gonna close......my eyes for a bit." You tell him.
"Okay."
When you wake up, you smell something warm and exquisite. Opening your eyes, you realize you're tucked into Yoongi’s neck. He’s sleeping, arms folded over his chest, head resting over yours. You shift a little more deliberately. And when he stirs awake, he says, 
"You're awake. Good nap?"
"Yeah. Sorry about......"
"It's fine."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah.” 
Cause you know me, Yoongi thinks to himself. 
“Okay,” you say, letting your head rest on his shoulder, thinking to yourself, I trust you.
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