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graceslavenderhaze · 3 years

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just wanna be with you; reggie x reader

“are you okay?” that was the first question julie had asked you when she saw you the morning after you both had learned that the boys were planning on crossing over before the jolts that caleb had placed on them destroyed them.

“ i feel like i should be asking you that.” you said bluntly as you let your best friend into your house which was empty other than you at the moment. you both trailed into your kitchen. ripped pages of your journal laid in crumpled balls, a mug of hot chocolate which was half drank was next to your song journal. you wrote your best songs when you were emotional and last night was definitely emotional.

you picked up your mug and went to refill it as well as make one for julie. she sat herself down at the table, her wondering eyes drawn to the journal. she knew a love song when she saw one.

“did you write this?” julie asked pointing at the song labeled ‘just wanna be with you’. you placed both of your mugs back on the table and sat down. you bit your bottom lip as you took a deep breath.

“yeah, i wrote it about or i guess for reggie.” you blurted out to your best friend. she placed her hand onto your outstretched one, comforting you. you felt all of your emotions crash down onto you like a tidal wave.

“i’ve never felt this way about anyone ever not even carrie, i’ve never been so- i’ve never written a song about someone i like. ever! and then he just comes out of nowhere the afterlife and everything and for the first time since carrie broke up with me, i felt. i can’t even compare it to carrie but he makes me feel like there’s nothing we can’t do if we’re together, and no matter what happens i know he’ll be there. i just wanna be with him, jules.” your voice was raw as a few loose tears escaped your eyes.

“that’s love, if i know anything from how my parents looked at each other and every stupid rom com that we’ve watched with flynn. you’re in love with him.” julie said to you as she wiped the tears off of your cheeks. you let what she said sink in, love. you were in love with reggie.

“fuck flynn’s never gonna let me live this down!” you joked to your best friend. she broke a smile. she stood up and held her hand out for you. you gave her a confused look. she pulled you up from your seat.

“you’re getting dressed, meeting up with reggie before we play the orpheum and giving him this song. life is too short for you to just sit back and not tell people how you feel about them. you have to live in the moment, and even if you lose him. you’ll always have the memories.” handing you the journal that laid on the table, you both rushed upstairs to your bedroom not before you muttered “i hate how you’re always right.”

it had been at least an hour since you got ready. julie had picked out a cute outfit consisting of your favorite pieces of clothing that you owned, insisting that flynn says that the more comfortable you are in your skin, the more comfortable you’ll be laying your heart out. you also had your backpack slung over your shoulder with your clothes for later tonight when the band plays the orpheum and then, clothes for a sleepover with julie later on. neither of you wanted to be alone after the guys crossed over.

“stop worrying you look fantastic.” julie said to you. you found it ironic. your best friend was playing one of the most iconic clubs in all of Los Angeles tonight and here she was calming you down over telling reggie how you feel. you played with the bracelets on your wrists, more specifically the red and black one that had a small bass charm in the middle. julie smirked when she noticed the small charm but opted not to say anything.

“i’m gonna go pick out my outfit for tonight, and i’ll rangle dumb and dumber out so you can be alone with reggie. you got this!” julie said to you before walking into the studio to say some half true lie to get alex and luke out so you could be alone with reggie. after standing alone for five minutes and convincing yourself while it seemed convenient, running from your issues wouldn’t solve anything.

“hey.” you mentally face palmed. hey thats the best you had? reggie looked up from the grand piano he had been fiddling with the keys of. a smile came across his face when he saw you. his smile was one of your favorites.

“hey, shouldn’t you be helping julie?” he asked confused being as mere minutes ago julie had brought luke and alex up to her room to help wrap last minute details up for the orpheum show. you placed your backpack down and fished out your journal. your heart was beating in your chest like thunder, as if it was going to just combust out.

“yeah, but first i wanted to show you this song that i wrote.” you stumbled on your words a little and after getting the sentence out your mouth had never felt drier. reggie looked bewildered, normally you shared your songs with julie and flynn. this was the first time you’d ever wanted to show him a song of yours and also the last.

“i thought that’s something that you and julie do with flynn?” you approached the grand piano and sat next to him. it was now or never at this point. you pushed the knowing that by tonight after they opened, him and the guys would be gone.

“yeah but it’s something special that i think would just be better if you were the one to hear it. is that okay?” your voice was soft and you’d never been this close to reggie before. the past few days you’d been avoiding being alone with him to see if you could try to resolve your crush on your own. it was impossible.

“yeah, no totally, that’s rad.” he said nervously starting to fiddle with his rings. you let out a soft laugh. you opened the page that the song was on and placed your hands on the keys.

“ I got a lot of things I have to do All these distractions Our futures coming soon We're being pulled a hundred different directions But whatever happens I know I've got you

You're on my mind you're in my heart It doesn't matter where we are It'll be alright Even if we're miles apart

All I wanna do, is be with you, be with you There's nothing we can do just wanna be with you Only you No matter where life takes us nothing can break us apart You know its true I just wanna be with you

You know how life can be It changes over night It's sunny then raining, but it's alright A friend like you Always makes it easy I know that your kidding me every time

Through every up through every down You know I'll always be around Through anything you can count on me

All I wanna do, is be with you, be with you There's nothing we can do just wanna be with you Only you No matter where life takes us nothing can break us apart You know it's true I just wanna be with you

I just wanna be with you”

you felt a weight life off your shoulders when you finished and you wondered why you’d been so nervous, then you remembered that reggie was still sitting next to your and your nerves came swinging right back. you turned to him and for once staring into his eyes didn’t comfort you, it scared you.

“i know that after tonight you’re gone but i’d be an idiot if i didn’t tell you how i felt before you left. i’ve never wrote a song for anyone i’ve lov-like liked.” the words tumbled out of your mouth uncontrollable. reggie smiled. he wanted to kiss you and in that moment he regretted everything. had they focused on the band instead of being so hellbent on getting revenge against bobby, then they wouldn’t have gotten stamped and wouldn’t be crossing over at all.

“you have no idea how much i want to kiss you. ” he said softly. you smiled, you wanted to kiss him so badly.

“i’m gonna miss you, so much.” you admitted. you knew he couldn’t stay but you wanted him to.

“you are unlike any girl i’ve ever met or have like liked either, y/n y/l/n. i wish we had more time.” he said coming closer to you. your eyes closed for a moment and you forgot just what was happening. he wouldn’t be able to kiss you. you’d go straight through him.

“we can’t, i want to but you know we can’t.” your words were soft and quiet but loud enough to break both of your hearts. you both wanted this so badly but the universe wouldn’t allow it. you merely coexisted together, you were still from two seperate worlds.

“your favorite flowers are forget me nots right?” he asked you after the two of you had pulled away. you nodded and almost as a reflex played with the bracelet on your wrist with a forget me not charm. he removed his necklace from around his neck, with the blue beads and silver bar at the middle. the entire time you’d known reggie he’d never been seen without it.

“then consider this a forget me not.” he then took the necklace and placed it around your neck. you removed the red and black bracelet with the bass charm. you placed it around his wrist.

“only if you consider this a forget me not as well.” “ forever.” your phone beeped interrupting the moment.

julie: i love you but i’m going to find a way to rekill these himbos soon.

“i should go actually help julie now. i really don’t wanna say goodbye.” this was probably the last moment you had with reggie and you never wanted it to end.

“so don’t say goodbye just say i’ll see you around.” he said jokingly. you nodded as a few tears made their way out of your eyes. you stood up from the grand piano grabbing your journal, you walked over to your backpack and turned around, your fingers fiddling with your forget me not token.

“see you around guitar cutie.” you said before walking out of the studio.

“not if i see you first!” he yelled back. you smiled and continued to walked up to julie’s room. closing the door and then sliding down against it once you’d entered.

“i fell in love with a ghost. full teasing rights once my heart heals, let flynn know.” you stated as you slumped on the floor in a slightly love struck daze.

“no shit!”

“is this suppose to be new news?”

“shut up shes in loveeee.”

“yeah and i’ve come to take your spot as julie’s fashion stylists.” you joked as you got up. alex and luke poofed out after a few more side comments. julie smirked.

“nice necklace you got there.” she winked before the two of you got to work.

flashing forward to two hours later, flynn and you stood on the side wings of the stage clutching onto each other, both of you dressed in your concert outfits . julie, alone center stage with only her keyboard, microphone and a dahlia with her. you were all on edge, the guys wouldn’t bail again. there’s no way. so there was only one other explanation. the jolts destroyed them before they got to crossover.

as julie started playing stand tall, the song you had heard so many times from sitting in on the practices, you thought you were imagining hearing alex’s drums until you and flynn both saw him with your own eyes.

“holy shit.” then reggie appeared next to julie, causing you and flynn to jump with excitement. they were still here, they were going to crossover. you noticed how the charm from the bracelet reggie was still wearing had twinkled under stage lights and him looking back up and you and winking.

“it’s your lover boy!” flynn teased. you couldn’t deny it because at this moment you were to happy to even bother.

“c’mon luke.” you had started to muttered noticing that he was flickering onstage causing both of the present phantoms to give you a worried glance. after a few tries he managed to stay solid onstage.

“yes!” you and flynn both cheered on the sidelines. dancing and singing to the song that you knew would be stuck in your head by tomorrow. you were all happy in this moment.

when the song ended reggie looked back at you and mouthed very clear words. “i love you.” before you could say it back the boys disappeared. you placed the silver bar of the necklace to your lips and kissed it muttered “i love you too” before. joining flynn in cheering for julie. everything was over, but you left nothing unsaid.

“so y/n, spill the details about your out of this world love affair.” julie joked as the three of you were in the dressing room changing into your street outfits. you laughed. folding the clothes you wore and putting them back into your backpack before looking in the mirror to check over last time.

“wait is that reggie’s?” flynn asked pointing at the necklace you wore all night. you blushed slightly. then julie noticed the missing red and black bracelet.

“yeah it’s a forget me not. something to remember him by. i’ll explain it all tomorrow i’m still processing it honestly.” you said turning around to her. flynn hugged you. you were happy you had your friends.

“i’m gonna go make us popcorn and pick a movie.” you said once julie and you had gotten back to her house for the night. you knew she wanted a moment alone in the garage to thank her mom for bringing the guys to her and music back into her life.

once you had the popcorn in julie’s bed and were picking out a movie on her laptop she texted you a 911, code red, and a bunch of other phrases for her saying you needed to get into the garage asap.

“hey jules what do half of these codes even mean?” you asked as you walked into the garage. “what the fuck, you guys crossed over. you shouldn’t be here.” you said when you saw your favorite ghosts standing in a group hug with julie. they looked like they were dying twice all over.

“come here!” julie said grabbing you and pulling you into the hug. the guys all started to glow a golden color and the stamps caleb had put on them dissolved.

“what do you think that means?” julie asked. you shrugged, up until like a month ago you didn’t even think ghosts actually existed.

“i think it means the bands back.” luke said causing the group hug to jump up and down in a fit of happiness over playing the orpheum. once the group hug broke up, you launched yourself forwards towards reggie.

“i love you too.” he smiled.

“kiss her!” julie coughed trying to be subtle. luke and alex both nodded encouraging their friend.

“yeah kiss me guitar cutie.” you said with confidence causing him to do so. you could hear the hollers of your best friends in the background losing their minds which made the moment better for you.

“so what do i tell flynn?” julie asked once you pulled away for air.

“we’ll tell her tomorrow, she’s probably still reeling from tonight.” you said. julie nodded then had another outburst excitement over the fact that they just played the orpheum.

reggie picked you up and swung you around before kissing you again. “i don’t know what’s better playing the orpheum or kissing you.” he said.

“also which one of you is responsible for carlos knowing?” julie asked in the middle of the moment. the guys faces all became panicked.

“busted!” you said holding a hand for your best friend to high five.

this is the first thing i’ve ever wrote to post publicly and idk if i like it or not but just wanna be with you lives in my head rent free so i saw my opportunity and i took it honestly. let me know if you guys like this those maybe i’ll start posting again. <3

#julie and the phantoms #julie and the phantoms imagine #julie and the phantoms x reader #jatp imagine #jatp x reader #julie molina #luke patterson #reggie peters #alex mercer #reggie peters imagine #reggie peters x reader #grace writes

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lavenderbau · 3 years

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okay so i’ve seen tiktok do the oh these characters are blank color so guess who’s doing it with cm characters whores and no i do not take criticism

penelope- shes pink obviously i’ve seen some people say she could be yellow but i think she’s like a pastel/pale pink because i just feel the softness i associate with pale pink from her

jj- she is the green character or more like the sage green she is besutiful and everyone is attracted to her energy she’s calm and a peacemaker of sorts

emily- we all know emily is red and not just because of how hot she is emily has this intensity to her where she rarely shows her emotions but when she does theyre intense and filled with passion she loves fully always

derek- he’s blue almost navy color he is eye catching and while his color isnt bright it’s bold like he is but can also feel comforting in the “i’ve had these jeans for five years and i lov them so much“ type

hotch- we all know he’s grey not because hes bland or doesn’t show emotions but more like the grey of a light rain storm because that’s just how he holds himself he doesn’t like to draw attenuon but can be comforting

reid- okay so i know everyone tries to say reid is purple but i cant see it to me he is yellow, he just doesn’t like giving attention to himself and maybe it’s because i compare him too much to the light academia aesthetic

tara- shes bright shes bold shes fun shes funny this is a woman who doesn’t mess around and doesn’t care about showing how powerful she is and she radiates bde and so does purple i don’t make the rules

alex- alex is the brown character because shes the type to hand you a hot chocolate or buy the book you’ve been wanting to read that’s just who she is

#criminal minds #alex blake #emily prentiss #tara lewis #derek morgan #penelope garcia #spencer reid #aaron hotchner #jj #this is right #don’t tell me i’m wrong #bc i’m always right

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kendrene · 3 years

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12 and Supercorp

12: “you did what?”

***

“That’s what Alex said, at any rate.” Kara pauses to consider. “Well, screamed, more like.”

Lena arches an eyebrow and takes a moment to study the whisky in her glass. They’re in her apartment, the last rays of the sun painting her living room in red and glorious copper. Kara landed on her balcony alongside evening, haloed in light like the hero she is. Still wearing the suit, as if making a point.

Considering the circumstances, Lena can understand the urge.

“Just - you did what- that’s it? That’s all she said?”

“There are parts I’d rather not repeat.” Kara fidgets, then pulls a sheaf of papers out from underneath her cape. She holds them at an angle so Lena can’t quite read the writing, but each is stamped with the DEO seal at the corner.

“Those look official.”

“Yeah.” Kara’s hands flex, tightening around the papers. Already crumpled by the unorthodox means of transportation they ruin further, ripping at the edges. Kara’s fingers torment each page as she leafs through quickly, her entire face pulled into a wince. “Yeah it’s-“ she huffs out an unhappy breath. “An NDA. Alex wants you to sign it.”

“Give me it then.” Lena wants to be done with the bureaucracy of Kara’s identity and go back to more important things. Like giving Kara the reassurance she so clearly craves. That nothing has changed. That they’re still friends, and god doesn’t it feel good to have let go of the pretense? “I might not have superpowers, but I can get your sister off of your back.”

Honestly, Lena’s a little underwhelmed. She’d expected a strike team to burst through her door and snatch her off to an undisclosed location, never to be heard of or seen again. In all likelihood, Alex would very much like to do just that – she just can’t get away with it.

Reaching for the fountain pen she always keeps nearby, Lena makes a grabby motion with her other hand, but Kara flinches back, the documents hugged to her chest.

“Wait.”

“What?”

“I… I don’t think I want you to sign it.”

“Why not?” Lena attempts to snatch the paperwork again, but the only result is that Kara blurs to the opposite side of the room. “Kara, let’s just – it’s the easy way out.” Why isn’t she taking it?

“Yeah, maybe. But-“ Kara’s eyes dart around the room, as though searching for a concept she cannot express. “It’s not fair! She didn’t ask Winn or James. And certainly not Kelly.” There’s a sharp bitterness in Kara’s tone. Almost a growl. “But the first thing she does when I tell her you know I’m Supergirl is whip out an NDA. She didn't have to go get it, Lena. She had it in a drawer. In her desk. Like she knew that I would say something and had a contingency plan all along.”

“Kara I’m sure it’s just standard-“ But Kara’s shaking her head vehemently, and Lena can’t speak further anyhow. Her heart is beating a drumline in her chest. The words catch in her throat like fishbones.

“It’s got your info already filled in, Lena.” Kara’s eyes turn sad. “That’s not a coincidence.”

“Yeah.” Lena downs the rest of her drink, and it doesn’t burn her mouth the way it should. “I just wish the real you had been so concerned about fairness too.”

“Lena?” Kara’s face creases, confusion and hurt flashing through. “Wha-?” Lena focuses on the latter, but it’s not enough. It never is. Not even close to what she’s feeling. Her organs shutting down one by one under the weight of Kara’s lies, the crippling sense of loneliness. Having nothing but the bottle she can turn to for support.

A thousand times they’ve had similar conversations, and Lena’s not managed to get to the end credits once. Kara isn’t hurt enough, and she can’t stomach it.

“Lena?” The pages flutter to the floor and scatter there, Kara taking a hesitant step forward. “Lena, I don’t know what’s wrong, but whatever it is, let me fix it. Please, I can fix it.”

“You can’t.” Lena is distantly aware of the tears dampening her cheeks, but fails to hold them back. “You can’t fix… this.”

Sunset fades away, replaced by night, and the sudden change of scenery has Lena sway in place.

“Would you like me to run the simulation again, Miss Luthor?” Hope asks.

It’s late and she’s drunk and she really, really shouldn’t.

Face splotched an angry red, tears wetting her collar, Lena nods. Immediately, the living room dissolves, replaced by Kara’s apartment. And Kara’s standing in front of her in civilian clothes, hands rising to cup Lena’s face.

“Lena,” Kara says, and there are specks of gold inside her eyes Lena’s never seen before. Then again, they’ve never been quite this close. “I didn’t just ask you to come here to tell you that I’m Supergirl.” Her tongue darts out, scraping across her lips, dragging Lena’s gaze along. “I wanted to say… I need you to know. I lov-“

#supercorp #kara x lena #dren writes #ask dren #sarliana

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pranpat · 3 years

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2020 CREATOR WRAP + FAVOURITE WORKS + FOLLOW FOREVER

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works. I was tagged by @yibobibo aamna thank u so muc and I’m so sorry this is so latenfkskkfd

@yibobibo aamnaaaaa!! You’re always so so wonderful and nice esp when you send me cute little messages I completely adore you and how you’re always tagging me in stuff! Thank you so much and I’m sorry I’m so lazygnskd but I appreciate it all so so much! You’re so talented as well i love everything you post and all your wonderful cql/yibo content makes me so happy esp when ur going off in the tags! I love this (it’s just so jc and wwx and it makes me so so sad) and this (ur tags said it well it’s very sexy) and lastly, this one (it’s just?? So powerful and I love that scene so so much) I’m sending u lots of love for the new year and I hope u have a wonderful year ahead 🥰😚

@gremlinmetawin ayeshaaaaaaaa!! Despite what you may thinkhjdkdkd I do actually love u very much 🙄 even when ur being mean to me. I love everything you put on my dash and when ur watching stuff, despite how long you take, I always love that you flood my dash with gifs bc it makes me feel like I’m watching right along with u. Also I know I make fun of u for tkaing so long to watch stuff but I love hearing your thots on everything and you always manage to pick up on the little details that I always end up missing. I also love how extra you can be gjskkfkdd your font for ayeshas thot still makes me laughfjkskd Anyways I’m so so glad to have gotten to know you this year and I appreciate you so so much and I just love screaming about all the shows we’re watching together 🥺 I Ioce u and appreciate u and I hope that next year is rlly good to u 😚😚🥰

@teh-ohaew taayyy!! Like I said with Ayesha despite what guys think i do actually love u too even tho you favour Ayesha over me sighhh but seriously I’m so glad we’ve gotten close over the few months (2gs impact huh) and that we get to scream over the same shit to each other. I also love how u don’t post shit for days and then u comeback and rb everythinggnsmmd and ur thirsty tags 🙄 always interesting to read. Oh and I’ve told u this multiple times but this this and this all of the edits are so good and all the detail you’ve put into them?? I love it so so much I also rlly love this all of the quotes you chose and the scenes?? To quote you, Britney gif yeah 😩 okay that’s it I love u and appreciate u and I hope next year is really really good to u 😚😚🥰

@yioh yuraaaaaa!!! I always feel so warm and happy whenever I see your stuff on my dash. I love hearing your thoughts on every show you’re watching or reading and I always find myself adding stuff to my recs. Also I love how you’re always so energetic and kind to everyone and you just excude love and warmth. You’re so talented I just love all of your artwork so so much esp this (the concept is just so good? What we could’ve had 😔) and this (bc obvs they’re both happy and living together) and lastly this (ngl I’ve gone back and read this so many times bc it just?? Hurts so much??) hope u have a great year ahead and u get to be surrounded by cats and everything u love!! 🥰😚😚

@metawwin aliiiiiiii!!! I’m so happy that we’ve gotten the chance to get to know one another this year and I absolutely adore you. You’re always so so kind and give off such positive energy and I just feel so happy whenever I see your stuff on my dash. And I’ve said this before but I love your gifs and it shows how much work you put into them and I love everything about your blog. I esp love this (ngl I lost my shit bc hands??? It’s such a pretty set and I always come back to it) and this (god I love this quote so much and I just love the scenes you’ve chosen and just everything is just so them) and lastly this (i love how u pick up on the smallest details and parallels and this set.. I just appreciate it so so much) I lov u and miss u I hope u have a great year ahead , sending u lots of love 🥰😚😚

@taytawan nuriaaa!! you’re so kind and you and your blog just give off such warmth idk how to explain it. I love all of your content, you make some of the prettiest gifs ive ever seen they’re always so warm and so clear and pretty. I esp love this one (idk how to explain it but it’s just?? So pretty and it’s one of my fav gifs of Tine out there ugh he just looks so good and the colouring just makes it so so much better) and all of your heart-eyes sets (ahhvhdjjdd they’re all just so nice and they just sum up their relationship so well??? These sets always make me so so happy) and lastly this (ngl I sat there for 5 minutes just being in awe bc?? I’ve never thought about this and I about lost it because???? Yeah it was never about the phone 😩 and that just adds so much to the show) I hope you have the best year ahead, sending u lots of love! 🥰😚😚

@morksuns sumaayaaa!! You’re so wonderful and kind and i just love how much you love the handmaiden?? And you have such great taste in shows and movies and I just love when you rb it on my dash. I absolutely love this mb it’s just so pretty and so soft?? And they’re girlfriends and everything about it is just so so warm and nice and the quotes.. yeah 😩) I also really love this mb (all of the pictures you’ve chosen are just so wonderful and they just fit?? That yellow sweater? The headphones? Scrubb? “Hi I’m bi” jfkskfk I just find so much comfort in it) and lastly this mb (it just screams home to me and it’s just so soft and wonderful? & the soulmate definition? Yeah ..yeah ) I hope u have a wonderful year ahead, sending u lots of love🥰😚

@fushiguroo lasyaaa!! You’re so so kind and lovely to talk to. You just give off so much warmth and you always seem so positive. I also really love all the sky/landscape pictures you post they’re always so pretty and ur just so talented. You also make such pretty gifs I just love all of your itsay gifs esp this (all the yellows and it just looks so warm and pretty?? And you giffed some of my favourite scenes from the episode 🥺) and this (once again you’ve chosen some of the prettiest scenes the first one in the water?? God it’s so pretty and the last gif from that set of the sunset???! It’s just so nice??? I love it so so much) I hope you have a great year ahead, sending u lots of love!! 🥰😚

@gigiesarocha cataaa!! I want to say thank u for putting Jeff satur on my dash because?? He’s so beautiful?! and I’m always tempted everyday by your ingredients gifs but I don’t have the patience so I’m waiting till it ends but your gifs of the show are always so pretty I can’t wait until I can sit down and watch it all and go through ur tag fjskkfd And I love all the kdramas you put on my dash bc I always end up adding more stuff to my watch list bc of it. I love this set so so much you have no idea it’s just so pretty and I love flowers so much and the flowers you’ve chosen to describe them both is just so spot on. I also really love this thank u for making this and blessing us all!! I hope you have a wonderful year ahead sending lots of love 🥰😚😚

@brightwin jelllyyyy!! You’re one the warmest kindest people I’ve talked to. You’re alway so kind to everyone and always spreading positivity and it’s just so nice to see you on my dash. Your gifs are always so so pretty esp the colouring you always manage to make them look so warm and clear and it just makes them so nice to look at. I love all of your content but I esp love this the scenes you’ve chosen are so wonderful and the quote is just.. so them it’s just so pretty. I also love this it just makes me miss them so much seeing how far they’ve come in their journey?? And ugh your colouring is always so beautiful. Also this is so pretty so basically all of ur lyric/quote sets because they’re so wonderful and you always make them look so beautiful. I hope you have a wonderful year ahead, sending you lots of love! 🥰🥰😚

@tichawongtipkanon diraaa!! You’re always so so kind and everytime I see you on my dash it always makes me so happy just reading your tags. Even tho I don’t think I’ve ever seen ticha in anything (I think?? I don’t rmr gkskkfkd) I always love seeing your gifs because she’s absolutely gorgeous?? I also really like this gjskkfkskkfd it always makes me laugh bc yeah he rlly is a mess and the fact that these gifs can capture him just being an idiot is so funny and I also really like this the quote and the scenes you’ve chosen??? Yeahhhfnskkd sarawatine soulmates!! I hope u have a wonderful year ahead sending u lots of love!! 🥰😚😚

@b-iconpearl roseee! youre so so kind and I appreciate you messaging me just to wish me a good day!! I also love all the pnd content you put on my dash even tho I haven’t had the chance to catch up but all of ur gifs of esp Pearl?? And Alex? Yeahhhh I esp love this bc Pearl is just??? So beautiful I just love this set of her sm she looks so good and also this I gasped out loud when I first saw this??? Alex looks so good and the gif is just so pretty and warm. Also I really love this the movie is just so dear to my heart and I love it so much and your set is just so so so beautiful and the lyrics yeahhhh so good! I hope you have a wonderful year ahead! Sending you lots of love 🥰😚

@pangwave dawnnn!! I love seeing you on my dash you’re always so kind and I love hearing your thoughts on the shows ur watching. Also ur gifs are always so pretty esp the recent morksun au you did, it was so interesting and I just loved it so much. I also really like this it’s so pretty and I love all the scenes you’ve chosen and the quote... yeah and the colouring is so warm and lovely. I also really like this god it’s one of my fav scenes from the show and I just love it so much. I also really like this it was such a small moment but handholding is just so...good and the set just looks so soft I love it I hope you have a wonderful year ahead! 🥰😚

@khaotungthanawat sammm!! Idk if I’ve mentioned this before but you make some of the best sets ever especially when it comes to finding parallels between shows. And you’re so creative and it’s so clear that you put so much work into ur gifs and they always look so so good! I especially love this it’s just so creative and looks so beautiful and how each weather just perfectly describes them? Just amazing and this one bc I had no idea there were so many reflections and I saw ur set and just had to take a moment and this one the colouring is just so pretty and it’s one of my favourite scenes ever and I just love it so much. I hope you have a wonderful year ahead of you!! 🥰

@teepakornaekaranwong orthyy!! I love how ur still keeping the 2g tag alive and that you’re always rb them on my dash. I esp love this you really combines the show scenes with the song and just made it so much more impactful?? And i just love all the scenes you’ve chosen it’s so beautiful. I also really like this and all the other ones in the set because they’re so funnygkkskfd and also this + all the other ones they always make me laugh bc you really did choose such perfect text post for each scene/character! I hope you have a wonderful year ahead!! 🥰

@asianmelodrama faizaaa!! I think this goes without saying that your content is always so beautiful and wonderful. And you have such a way with words as well, I just love reading your answers, posts and tags and it just feels so warm and safe . This has to be one of my favourite posts ever because there was so much potential?? So many hints?? And we could’ve had it all and I just love this set so much. I also really like this because their friendships were really so beautiful and I just wish we’d gotten to see more of it but what we did see, it was just beautiful. I also really like this (it’s so beautiful and I love winteam so much)and this bc jackzhaozi were so good. I love the character studies you did on tine and sarawat they were so raw and beautiful, like I said you just have such a way with words it was just so beautiful. I hope you have a wonderful year ahead of you!! 🥰

@toptaps zeeyyy!! You make some of the prettiest content ever and you’re just such a nice presence on my dash and you just seem so kind and warm. This has to be my favourite thing out there because when I heard that like, all of their scenes were just playing in my head and this set just captures everything we could’ve had :(( I also really like this the way you’ve morphed the gifs, the text and colouring of it, it’s all just so pretty. I also really really love this once again it’s so beautiful?? The way you’ve morphed them together and the quote you’ve used and the font and earnpear really is superior. Especially that first gif it looks like earns so taken aback by pear :((( and it’s so nice. I hope you have a wonderful year ahead!! 🥰

@soulmatelines jo!! You’re so kind and it’s always been so nice to see you on my dash even though I know you must be busy rn I hope you’re still taking care of yourself. You also make such amazing content, I especially love this everything about this set is so good we go from tender to raw feelings and it’s just so so beautiful. I also really like this bc I love love all of kurosawas thoughts and all the little insecurities he has about himself god it just makes him that much more real. I also really like this it’s just so pretty and I just love the whole concept of it it’s so well done. I hope you have a great year ahead of you!! 🥰

@gunsatthaphan Doreeennn!! you’re so so nice and lovely and I lose reading your thoughts on things. Also thank u for always tagging me in stuff and im so sorry im always late to it. But you’re always a delight on my dash and I just love all of your content. I especially love this parallel just bc of how significant this line was in the whole show and I just love the coloring on it and everything about it. I also really love this bc OhmFong are so cute and I missed Fong’s little jumps when I was watching it but them I saw your gifset and cried over how cute he is. Lastly, this one... i love this one so so much bc it was just so powerful and beautifully said and it was just so so good and its one of my fav scenes. Oh and bonus this one because I love wyel so much and tht quote.... just adds everything to that scene and ugh everything about that set is just so wonderful. I hope you have a wonderful year ahead, sending lots of love!🥰😚

@wjmild kyliieeee!! anytime I think of you I always think of tsoa or lee thanatnfkkfd which thank u for always putting him on my dash bc I love looking at him. It’s always so nice seeing you on my dash and reading your tags and thoughts on things and you’re such a great content creator. I love this so much thank u for compiling all of their little moments together, they’re just so cute. I also really love this wyel is so superior and I just love them both so much and this scene was just so cute. I also really love this even tho I haven’t seen all the shows, i love handholding and you just hit the spot with this and this set is just everything it’s so beautiful. I hope you have a great year ahead of u, sending lots of love! 🥰

@cherryysundae monicaaa!! I absolutely love all of your content and you’re so kind and such a wonderful presence on my dash. you also make such pretty gifs. I especially love this everything about this scene was just so so beautiful and you made it even more beautiful with your wonderful colouring I just love how the shades of flower reflect on wwx and lwj (idk if that makes sense but gjskkfkd). I also really love this ngl made me really really sad especially with all the wwx and yanli scenes :(( but this trio was literally everything and you just compiled all of their beautiful scenes together and heartbreaking scenes. I also really love this that gif of jc smiling?? So precious and just all the purples and the zidian? I just love it so much. I hope you have a wonderful year ahead!! 🥰

@leoyunxi ashiraa!! your content is always so so beautiful and I especially love your colouring it’s so beautiful and just gives makes the gifs seem so warm. I especially really love this wwx looks so pretty here and the colouring just makes it so so much better. I also really like this, this scene was just everything?? And the way they just glance at each other and I just love how warm the gifs look. I also really like this one of my favourite posts of them, you managed to gif all the wonderful scenes of them that I absolutely adore and they just look so good?? I can always tell that it’s your gifs because you have such a distinct colouring style and it’s always so so wonderful to see on my dash. I hope you have a wonderful year ahead!! 🥰

@bright-vachirawit mariii! I hope you’re feeling better now and that you’re staying safe! You’re always such a wonderful presence on my dash esp bc I find we’re more or less usually watching the same shows and I just love all the content you create for it. I especially love this it’s one of my favourite scenes and it came out so clear and just I love how vibrant the red is and it’s just so pretty. I also really like this I also really love this scene and just the colouring is so so pretty and I just love that you added the caption because it just ties it all together and it’s just so wonderful. I also really like this it’s really pretty and I love the fond you used. I hope you have a wonderful year ahead! 🥰

@sarawatine nicoleee!! it’s always a delight seeing you on my dash and I just love all of your content. I especially love this that you paired up each of the lyrics with the scenes from the mv and it’s just so so wonderful and it looks so pretty. I also really like this Idk how many times I’ve screamed over this but this post just confirms that sarawatine soulmates honestly and yeah that last line I could cry. I also really like this I’m a sucker for parallels and this one was just so cute and I just love how soft this set looks. I hope you have a wonderful year ahead! 🥰

@brightwinfilm nath!!! I love all of your content, all your wonderful 2g/bw content and it just makes me so happy. I really love this that you’ve giffed all of their scenes at their home and they’re just being so domestic and cute together it’s so wonderful. I also really like this one gjskkfkd it makes me laugh because they’re so dramatic and your caption just makes it so much better but yeah this was really nice. I also really like this the tension in this gifset but they’re also colored so nicely and I just love everything about it. I hope you have a wonderful year ahead!!🥰

@kimmonv violet!! I absolutely love all of your gifs and all the content you put on my dash. I especially love this honestly a whole ass mood and it made me really excited for the special!’ I also really like this i love the handholding and this scene was just... so beautiful and the dialogue and oh’s surprised face? This scene was everything and I just love this so much.and lastly this this scene was so funny gjskkfkd and I love how you adding the bonus scenes it makes it so much better!! I also love all of you gen y gifs!! They’re always so pretty and always look so clear and colourful. I hope you have a great year ahead!!🥰

@vihokratanas meeel!! You’re always such a delight on my dash and I love seeing your content. I especially love this it just looks so pretty and and I love this scene as well! This definitely is one of the best locations just look at the beach. I also really love this the scenes you’ve chosen just go with the song so well and it just ties it all together. It’s all just so wonderful and I love it so much. I also really love this this scene was just so good and the way you’ve coloured it just makes it so much warmer and prettier and the gifs are so so clear!! Absolute favourite! I hope you have a great year ahead!! 🥰

@atpgun doraaa!! I love your content and I absolutely love all of your itsay gifs. I especially love this one, the colouring is so so pretty and this scene is just so good and so underappreciated. It’s just so clear and I love how warm the gif looks and their relationship is just so good. I also really like this one bc I’m a sucker for parallels and these two?? And I love that you decided to include vlads little thumbs up so cute 🥺 I also really like this one it just makes me laugh bc pp looks so evil jfkskfkskd and I think ur one of the few people that giffed the documentary so thank you! I hope you have a great year ahead!! 🥰

@jbums kaaaay!! I hope ur doing well I haven’t seen you around in a while but I still absolutely love all ur content. I loved loved ur wyel gifs they were always so warm and you made them look so beautiful with your colouring. I also really like this like I said your colouring is always so so pretty and this was just so funny and their matching shirts so cute. And I also really like this one sangha looks so cute it reminds me of that gif you made of tae joo where he slams the spoon downfjskjdd but I hope ur doing well and I hope you have a wonderful year! 🥰

@musicdramalove hiii we recently became mutuals but I’m so glad we did. I love all your saifahzon content and your gifs are always so wonderful. I really like this one I haven’t watched it yet but this set really knocked this up in my list and I cant wait to watch it bc it loooks so lovely. I also really like this one, two of my favourite shows paralleled ugjjdks I love it so much and yes hugs.. the hugs I love it so much. I also really like this one the two of them just talking about the others smile and just admiring the other?? These scenes were just so good. I hope you have a great year ahead! 🥰

@planthusbands (cass -I absolutely love ur writing and thank u so much for writing me the wonderful fic I absolutely adore it and it had everything I liked in terms of tropes. I hope you have a wonderful year! 🥰)

@itoldsunset (dawy -thank u so so much for ur wonderful translations for itsay interviews god all of them just add so much depth into the show and I just love them all so much. I hope you have a wonderful year!! 🥰

@wirapong aishi!!! I absolutely love love this set of yours, pear looks so beautiful in it and your colouring just makes her look so so lovely. This set just makes me so happy bc look at her jumping with joy ah I love it. I also really like this one god this quote... was so impactful and I just love how you used all the scenes of them dancing with each other it’s just so so good. I also really like this one you cna really see the wonder and awe in Karl’s face and I love this scene so much and them. I hope you have a wonderful year ahead 🥰

@kurosawadachi angeeel!! i absolutely love this little set of film please she is so cute and her little smile ahhh!! i love it so much and the coloring in that set?? beautiful. I also really like this it just sums up itsay and oh man.. i just love all the scenes you’ve chosen and the gifs are just so so pretty and wonderful. I also really love this one im a sucker for food scenes and this really was one of the most wholesome scene in the series oh it was so wonderful. I hope you have a great year ahead!! 🥰

Other mutuals that I admire: @earthkatsamonnat (Bea) @janeramida @gooseras (kay) @gunsmiles (Amanda)@thaitheseries (Lisa) @87s-main @87s (min!! I’m tagging both just in case) - I hope all of you have a wonderful year!! 🥰🎉

This is alrdy too long so I’m just going to skip on tagging my own work

#follow forever #tagged #if I forgot someone please lmk I’ll add u jfkskfkskd this was rlly stressful and I didn’t mean to leave anyone out

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carpsurprise · 3 years

Note

“You seemed a bit lonely so I thought I could provide some company.” + alex ?

alex + “you seemed a bit lonely so i thought i could provide some company” — valentine’s starters!

aaaa hope u like it anon <3 i lov alex sm

Alex had gotten Dusty back into his pen, wiping his hands along his jeans after sneaking out some leftovers from dinner. Out of the corner of his eye he could see a figure sitting on the bench behind his house, despite the frigid weather. As he got closer to his front door he could make out the face of the farmer, sitting by themselves with their head tilted up to the sky. It had been snowing, but Alex (despite not being dressed for the weather) decided to walk up to them, his heart beating louder with each step.

“Oh, hey! What’s up?”

“Nothing much, really, just taking a quick breather. I’ve been running around all day.” Alex nodded, his shoulders rising as he shoved his hands further into his pockets. He shifted his weight uncomfortably, letting an awkward silence fill the space between the two. The farmer had decided to ask him his business, in hopes of eradicating the tense silence between them. “Did you need something, Alex?”

“You seemed a bit lonely, so I thought I could provide some company,” he admitted shyly, scratching at the back of his neck. With a kind smile, the farmer patted the open seat next to them. He had raced over excitedly, sitting and grinning down at them. The farmer watched as he exhaled, watching his breath appear in front of him and disappearing into thin air shortly after. He rubbed his hands together quickly, trying to stimulate any sort of friction to heat them up.

“Oh!” The farmer called out, reaching into their backpack and pulling out a pair of mittens. “I’m… not sure if they’ll fit over your hands, but hey, anything’s better than nothing, right?” They smiled, handing him the homemade mittens.

“Did you make these yourself?” He asked, trying his best to fit them over his hands.

“No, Emily did! She gave me a couple pairs as a gift one year for the Winter Star Feast.” He nodded, deciding that just over his knuckles and thumbs was close enough, and that any further struggle wasn’t worth it. Alex felt dumb with the mittens on, but any warmth at this point was well welcomed. “I know they don’t fit, but you can keep them if you need them.”

Alex shook his head. “I think my grandmother can make me some that fit, but these are fine right now, I promise. I’m having fun out here with you anyway.”

#stardew valley #alex stardew valley #alex

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ineverlookavvay · 4 years

Text

I'm still here hoping (that one day you may come back)

Set during the lost decade. After years apart, Alex and Michael spend a night together.

Fic prompt: “I don’t want you to go.” - Day 3 of Michael Guerin Week 2020

content warning for alcohol, semi-explicit sex, self-destructive behavior

Read it on Ao3

Michael slammed the door to his truck and took a breath, looking around to see if anyone else was loitering in the parking lot of the bar. Too many people, too dangerous to do what he wanted and throw something heavy across the lot with his mind, but too much energy to go inside. Instead, he slammed his fist against the side of the truck, reveling in the way the blow rang through his bones.

It was a Friday night, so of course the parking lot wasn’t empty, which was good since Michael was looking for a fight tonight. He was getting good at recognizing the types of truck that usually belonged to the kind of guy he didn’t mind going to jail for pummeling, and there were several excellent contenders.

Satisfied with the potential, he strode into the Wild Pony, avoiding Maria’s gaze and slipping into a seat at the bar. He was enough of a regular that he barely had to motion to the guy behind the bar to order a drink.

“Don’t you have a trailer to loiter in?” Maria sauntered up, leaning on the bar like she owned the damn place instead of her mom.

“Can’t you afford to hire other people to work here?” Michael shot back, accepting the drink the actual bartender slid in front of him and smirking at her when she frowned. “Go away, I’m a paying customer.”

“Tabs don’t count.”

Michael gave her an actual smile, even though he felt like screaming and crying and tearing the entire town down to splinters. “No, but see, I’m promising to someday be a paying customer. That’s just as good.” She put her hands on her hips, staring him down. Michael was struck again by how ridiculously unfair it was that being an adult was just the same as being in high school, except everyone felt even more entitled. The able-to-drink-in-public part is better though. “Are you gonna take away my drink?” he asked inflammatorily. “No? Then goodbye.” She rolled her eyes but walked away.

Michael sipped his bourbon and slipped some acetone into it. More than he should, probably, but numb was better than whatever he was currently feeling. Numb had always been better than the noise and the tangle of thoughts and the pain—all of the fucking pain—and the worry.

It shouldn’t have even been this bad. It was just a party, an engagement party, for Isobel and her utterly normal, friendly boyfriend. Well, fiancé, now.

Michael wasn’t sure what it was about the whole thing that made him feel the way he did. Maybe it was that reminder of Max and Isobel’s happy, wealthy family, and how completely unaware the Evanses were of the ridiculousness of throwing a gauzy, white party in the middle of the desert. He could always see in their eyes that they were glad when he left, even if they pretended otherwise. Or maybe it was that Isobel had actually found someone to marry, an actual companion, someone who didn’t make her sad, who didn’t make her feel so much that it ached.

Not that Michael was looking for someone to marry. Fuck, no. He was happy chasing the smaller highs of casual hookups. Or at least, he was content with it. He’d had his taste of that something else, of that ache, of that feeling they wrote melodramatic poetry about; he’d had his chance and it had been too much. Too much for someone like Michael, too much to sustain, too much to sacrifice for when he didn’t have anything to give except himself, and even that was small and insufficient.

That summer, the three of them had become bad people, the kind of people who cover up a murder for their own good, no matter how justified it might have seemed. And while Max and Isobel dealt with it by being the very best, upstanding citizen parodies of themselves, Michael just stopped acting like anything mattered. He wasn’t a cowboy, or an upstanding citizen, or a drunkard, or anything—he was only himself. And one of these days, he was going to get off this forsaken planet and become something.

But until then, he split his mind between working and going to Isobel’s parties and pretending he didn’t hate every minute of it. The engagement party had been semi-formal, which meant Michael had put on a clean shirt and jeans, and grudgingly accepted the tie she thrust at him when he walked in the door (now buried somewhere on the floor of the truck). He’d put on a smile and he’d toasted the happy couple and he’d tried to stem that idiotic part of him that had the nerve to feel jealous.

The jealousy, and the sadness, and the feelings of inferiority weren’t even the worst part. The worst part was that they’d gone years and years without telling anyone their secret, and now Isobel was getting married. She was literally going to swear to be honest and faithful and whatever else, and Michael couldn’t help but feel a little worried that she would want to tell all her secrets to this man she was planning to spend her life with. All of their secrets. No matter how much she protested that she didn’t want that, that she wanted a normal marriage, it was still concerning.

Michael finished the drink and another one appeared. Got to love being a regular, even if he wished he had a nicer place to haunt. He took a drink and tipped more acetone in, glancing around the bar for someone to talk to, or hit on, or just plain hit. And his eyes fell on someone walking through the door: Alex.

Michael turned back to the bar immediately, taking a drink with shaking fingers. Fuck. This wasn’t the right night for his first lov—his high school ex, who he hadn’t seen in years, to come wandering back into his life. Then again, Michael wasn’t sure there ever would be a right night for it.

They hadn’t talked. The end of that summer had turned into one nightmarish day after the next—Michael had his first string of arrests, his first nights in the drunk tank, all to try and chase the memory of that night from his mind, to chase away the disappointed look Alex had given him when Michael admitted that he wasn’t going to college after all. It wasn’t like he could say, ‘I have to stay and keep an eye on my homicidal alien sister.’ Things had been bad enough before he’d woken up one morning to find that Alex was gone. Really, actually gone.

That had been the worst string of nights Michael had experienced since he’d learned to punch back.

Michael looked around again, unable to stop himself. He wasn’t sure if Alex had seen him, and besides that, he wasn’t sure if Alex would give any fucks about him. Probably not, which was fair. The only people who did give a fuck about Michael were Max and Isobel, and they didn’t have a choice.

The problem was that Michael was smart. Smart enough to have noticed which tables were empty in the bar when Alex walked in, to find him within seconds at one of them, talking to Maria. Michael was too smart to believe that his shaking hands weren’t the prelude to something larger and more fantastic and extremely not attached to him shaking, to think that he was going to be able to sit there at the bar and drink like nothing at all is different and—fuck.

Michael accidentally met Alex’s gaze and immediately ducked his head down, like he could somehow hide behind nothing, when it was clear that Alex had already seen him. Michael’s head was too fuzzy already to have a good sense of what Alex’s expression had looked like, the whole bar was suddenly too loud and chaotic for him to grasp something as intangible as a social cue.

Maria slid up to the bar and leaned over it to grab two beers, looking sideways at Michael. “What’s wrong, Guerin? Someone bigger and stronger steal the girl you were eyeing?”

He mimed laughter. “Funny.” Michael swallowed the remainder of his drink and stood up, feeling a little bit wobbly and not from the bourbon. “Save your material, I’m leaving.”

Maria looked happy he was going, which was just the icing on the damn cake. Absolutely no one wanted to see Michael, and he wasn’t even really drunk enough to pick a worthwhile fight. He spared another quick glance at Alex’s table, ignoring how it made his pulse speed, ignoring that Alex still looked good as hell, and shoving his still shaking hands in his pockets as he walked past and out of the bar.

He didn’t go to his truck though. There was nothing waiting for Michael anywhere else, and he was far too wired for sleep. Maybe he could still find something to do while he waited for Alex to leave so he could have the bar to himself. Michael slipped into the shadows, leaning against the wall of the building and taking the momentary lull in parking lot foot traffic as an opportunity to sip a little more from his flask of acetone.

He wasn’t sure what he was waiting for, but standing there in the warm night air, with the faint sound of music and laughter seeping through the windows, he felt almost okay. It was almost enough to unsnarl his mind for a moment.

And then the door opened, and Alex stepped out of the bar.

Michael’s breath caught as he waited to see if anyone was with Alex, but no one else appeared. He couldn’t tell if Alex was intentionally walking towards him, or just walking with his fingertips trailing the side of the building, but either way, in a matter of moments they were closer than they’d been in a long, long time.

It wasn’t the right night for this. Michael felt like he needed someone, he had been thinking about their time right after high school anyway, and now he felt unmoored and uncontrollable and like if he was going to make a mistake, he might as well dive in. Michael reached out as Alex drew near him and grabbed Alex’s hand, pulling him into the shadows where Michael was lurking.

“Guerin,” Alex breathed, and it didn’t sound like anger.

“Alex.” Michael’s hands were shaking.

“How are you?” Alex hadn’t pulled his hand away, and Michael honestly wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or a terrible sign. But it was contact. What aliens crave. “I saw you before, inside, but I wasn’t sure if—”

“What are you doing here?” Michael asked abruptly.

Alex smiled, surprised, and it was all nostalgia and ache and the burning brightness of a star. “I’m on leave.”

If it had been another night, if Michael hadn’t been feeling raw and lonely, if he was a little more or a little less drunk, if his hands weren’t shaking like damn leaves. But it was, and he was, and they were. It was a foregone conclusion.

“Wanna go for a drive?”

Alex nodded, and Michael hated how it made his chest clench.

They drove into the middle of nowhere, far enough away from lights that the stars blinked into view. Michael just drove, and god help him, it reminded him of that summer, driving out to the middle of the desert just to be alone with each other. And here Alex was, again, sitting just too far across the bench seat of Michael’s truck, making idle conversation and good-naturedly criticizing every song that came on the radio.

Eventually, Michael found a place to park, cutting the engine and the radio off. They sat in silence for a long, terrible moment. “Nicer view from the bed,” Michael said without thinking about the wording, and Alex laughed nervously.

“Yeah, okay.”

They clambered out and into the truck bed, and Michael was glad he’d recently washed some of the blankets he kept thrown in there. Alex sat with his knees pulled up to his chest, while Michael lounged across the other side, trying to make himself look more put together than he felt. Alex looked at the stars and Michael looked at Alex. He looked good—older, and maybe more tired, and he was missing the jewelry and eyeliner that was so endearingly rebellious. He looked quieter, somehow, and the thought of that made something in Michael want to scream.

“I forgot how quiet it was,” Alex said eventually, looking over at Michael. His eyes were the same, or at least they still made Michael feel achingly adrift.

“Must be a nice change.” Michael had no idea what he was saying, he was just trying not to let the conversation die. Alex laughed wryly. “How’ve you really been?”

Alex shrugged. “You really want to hear about it?”

Michael didn’t. The idea of Alex—Alex who was good and real and made him ache—off fighting someone else’s wars made Michael sick to his stomach, made him want to flip the damn truck over.

“I’ve spent all day talking about the Air Force,” Alex said eventually.

“Okay, so tell me something else about you,” Michael said.

“I’m glad to see you,” Alex said, staring straight at Michael, like he was daring him to argue. “I wasn’t sure you’d still be here.”

“Well, I am. For now.” It was a lie—Michael wasn’t leaving Roswell unless it was in a flying saucer—but the lie made reality easier to bear.

“I’m leaving tomorrow.” The information was offered before Michael could decide if he wanted to know. Alex’s phone chimed from where he’d left it in the cab. “And I had plans for tonight.”

“Breaking plans to bum around with me? I’m honored.”

“When you looked at me in the bar, I forgot all about them,” Alex continued, sounding mildly disgusted with himself.

Michael swallowed hard. “When I looked at you in the bar, I forgot about everything else.” It was easier, out here, to say things like that, knowing it was just between him and Alex and the desert and the night sky—and Alex would be gone tomorrow.

“Are you still getting into fights? Still drinking? Still getting arrested?” He sounded hopeful. That just made it all worse.

Michael looked down at the blanket he was sitting on, worrying the edge of it between the fingers of his bad hand. “Not currently.” Alex’s hand suddenly reached out and grasped his fingers, stopping the fidgeting. Michael looked up and Alex was closer, their faces inches apart.

“Just for tonight,” Alex said, and Michael nodded, unable to turn away even if his life depended on it. Alex smiled like he couldn’t help it, and then pressed his lips to Michael’s.

Everything was quiet. Everything was eclipsed by the desire, the ache, the need to press as much of himself to Alex as possible. Alex’s lips were more chapped than Michael remembered, but otherwise it was the same—the same swooping sensation in his stomach, the same warm wet pressure, the same fervent way Alex licked Michael’s lips until he deepened the kiss. Michael bit back the high, needy noise threatening to burst out of him, wrapping his hand around Alex’s waist, holding him as close as possible when they were both awkwardly sitting side by side in the truck bed. It was enough.

Michael had asked Isobel how it felt to kiss Noah, once. It was under the guise of teasing, but he had really wondered if everyone had the same brilliantly overwhelming feelings he experienced with Alex, like nothing else mattered but the two of them, like nothing else even existed. Michael hadn’t felt that with anyone else, but no one else had been nearly as important as Alex was to him, as Noah seemed to be to Isobel. Isobel had laughed, and said something cliched and cute, but it hadn’t come anywhere near the words he would use to describe kissing Alex. And now, he wasn’t sure that he hadn’t undersold the experience in his memory.

They fell back against the blankets, legs intertwined. It was perfect until Michael misjudged and hit his elbow on the side of the truck with a bang and a loud “Fuck!” Michael slid quickly away from the offending metal, closer to Alex, and Alex giggled, hiding the sound in the curve of Michael’s neck. Michael filed that away, the sound of Alex giggling, deep in his memory, a balm for the really bad moments.

His face still tucked into the juncture between Michael’s neck and shoulder, Alex turned the laughter into kisses, pressing them along the sensitive skin of Michael’s neck. Michael ran his good fingers along Alex’s spine, and Alex shivered at the light touch. Michael felt good, he felt weightless, like he’d been carrying an invisible weight, and now Alex was lifting it.

Alex’s fingers plucked at the edge of Michael’s shirt, and Michael let Alex peel it off of him, the air and anticipation prickling at his bare skin. Alex touched Michael with a look of reverence, running his hands along the lines of Michael’s collarbones, tripping across his nipples, stroking over his ribs, smoothing the line of his stomach. Michael had forgotten how this felt, to have someone really want him, really want to touch him, in a way that felt intimate instead of rushed and anonymous. It made him feel powerful and incredibly vulnerable.

Michael tugged at the buttons on Alex’s shirt, slipping them from their holes, slowly revealing skin, an exceptional tease. Alex huffed a laugh as Michael’s tugging became more insistent, the last button popping clean off the shirt, rolling across the metal of the truck bed. They crashed together, gripping each other’s hips, pressing their skin together and kissing messily.

It was just like the last time, except the sting of that summer was dulled; over time, it had been overtaken by the way that Michael ached when he thought about how long it had been since he’d seen Alex, how many nights he’d spent lying in bed hoping that nothing terrible had happened to him. They were both still eager, and they both seemed to want it just as much. The difference was that Michael knew now that this wasn’t just a summer fling, that it never could be; the difference was that Michael knew that something in him broke every time Alex left, and he would have to try his best to rebuild himself tonight because in the morning, it would break again.

Michael ran his fingers arounds the waist of Alex’s pants—soft, ticklish caresses that made Alex’s breath catch, his exhales twisting towards a moan. Michael undid the fiddly zipper of Alex’s pants, letting out his own moan at the sudden expanse of skin as Alex helped pull them off, at the suggestive bulge of Alex’s cock beneath his boxers. Michael’s pants were off after another moment, hurried motions that made both of them giggle and moan like teenagers.

Filled with the restless energy of want, Michael pressed Alex back down on the blankets, rolling to hover over him, sweeping his eyes over all of Alex’s skin. Their kisses were heated, spurred on by their bodies sliding together. Michael could feel every nerve in his body reacting to touching Alex, every bit of him lit up and conscious of Alex’s every movement, every sigh, every push of his hips against Michael’s, every look and every kiss burning through him.

Alex pulled away, breathing hard, his hand tangling in Michael’s hair. “Christ, I missed you,” he whispered, quiet even though no one else was around. He sounded wrecked, and Michael felt the sound sear itself in his memory.

Michael took a deep breath. Alex was smiling up at him, looking blissful; Alex was here, with him, and he had to make it count, to make it good for Alex, because Michael knew with a sudden certainty that he wouldn’t be able to survive it if Alex came home the next time and didn’t fall into his arms. Michael spent so much time disappointing so many people, but this—loving Alex—this he could do.

“You look nervous,” Alex said, later, when they were both naked and Michael had found the lube he kept stashed in the glove compartment.

“No,” Michael laughed, running his tongue along the sensitive skin by Alex’s hip. “It’s just been a while since I did this with someone I liked as much as you.”

Then Michael’s mouth was on Alex’s cock and Alex’s response turned into a moan, his voice rising into the quiet air as Michael tried to say everything he really wanted to say without any words and hoped Alex would understand.

Hours later, as they lay wrapped together in blankets and each other, sweat cooling on their skin, Michael ran his hand through Alex’s hair and wished he had the power to slow time. Alex’s hair was longer in high school, and Michael regretted slightly that he couldn’t pull on it the way he remembered Alex liking. It was just another reminder that things were different now, that Alex was going to leave for someplace he might never come back from, while Michael dug his own grave slowly in Roswell.

“That’s nice, Michael,” Alex said, leaning into Michael’s touch. Michael pressed kisses to his cheeks, his forehead, his lips—gentle, unhurried kisses, the kind they never got to have in high school. There was always some danger lurking around the corner, the fear of being seen, of being caught; now the only threat was the sun, and the morning that would take Alex away.

“Only nice?” Michael teased, kissing along Alex’s jaw, down his neck. “Do I have to demonstrate my charms again?” He pressed his hips toward Alex suggestively.

“Nice is good,” Alex replied, sighing as he leaned closer to Michael. “And this was perfect.”

Don’t leave, he wanted to say. Instead, he rocked their bodies together again more purposefully as he felt Alex respond. They gripped each other like they could hold together the things threatening to tear them apart with every passing minute, kissing with renewed passion, making the most of what time they had.

They hadn’t slept at all when the sun started to rise, painting the broad expanse of the desert with color and light, or at least Michael hadn’t. Alex was dozing, and Michael was watching him, watching the way the glow of the early morning made Alex’s skin golden, the way his eyelashes fluttered as he dreamed, the dark red of his well-kissed lips. It would have been creepy to take a photo, but Michael wished he’d brought his phone out of the cab, wished he had a picture of Alex looking peaceful and fucking radiant, to remind himself that not everything was shit all of the time. Instead, Michael looked and looked and tried to etch the image onto his memory.

Alex stirred, blinking awake and smiling up at Michael. “Hey.” His voice was thick with sleep and sex, and Michael’s chest felt tight at the thought he might never get to hear that again. He’d never admit it, but while Alex slept, Michael had mentally seriously considered the pros and cons of joining the damn Air Force himself just to have some piece of Alex around him all the time.

“Mornin’,” Michael drawled, kissing Alex’s eyelids, kissing Alex’s hand, kissing Alex everywhere he could see. Alex yawned and Michael grinned. “Tired?”

Alex’s face slipped from contentment to something sadder and more complicated. “Hey, that’s the first time we’ve both actually slept in the same place.”

“Speak for yourself,” Michael replied, then switched tactics when Alex’s face dropped a bit. “Yeah, I know.” He paused, watching Alex’s expression brighten. “I liked it.”

“Me too.”

The sun sped higher in the sky, drenching them in light. Michael wondered what would happen if he tried to telekinetically move the sun back towards the East. Probably worse than just a nosebleed.

Alex started to root around for his clothing in the mess of blankets, shooting Michael small smiles despite the aura of sadness surrounding them. Alex pulled on his pants and slid off the back of the truck, standing up and looking around them like he was cataloguing his surroundings. Michael sighed and pulled on his own jeans, trying to ignore how final it felt.

“So.” It was stranger, in the light, with Alex standing up and out of reach. “You going back to some buff Air Force boyfriend?”

Alex laughed, glancing over his shoulder and raising an eyebrow at Michael. “You going back to some drunk townie?” It stung, a little, and after all hadn’t Michael been trying to sting him by asking first. Alex sighed, turning back to Michael fully, his face suddenly sadder and less guarded. “Don’t worry, Guerin, you’ve ruined me for anyone else.”

Guerin. After being Michael all night, it hurt more than he expected. Michael’s chest tightened at the name, at the offhand remark, and he wanted nothing more than to agree, to tell Alex that he felt the same and have it ring with truth, to admit that nothing else could ever stand up to whatever it was they stumbled upon at 17—but he couldn’t. He couldn’t because Alex was leaving and there wasn’t a damn thing Michael could do about it, because Michael was still himself and now that it was light he could feel the unease spreading over him, because they were different people now than who they had been years ago, and it was nothing but foolish to pretend that nothing had changed.

“I don’t want you to go,” Michael said instead, petulantly.

Alex smiled sadly and shook his head. He pulled his shirt on, tucking it in to hide the missing bottom button, and walked back to the passenger door of the truck. Done. Finito.

Michael sighed, blinking back the heat sitting in the corners of his eyes, threatening to become something he couldn’t laugh off. Michael would only let himself cry in one place, and that was alone in his trailer, where no one could see or hear him, where no one could sense any weakness.

Michael started the truck before realizing he had no idea where Alex wanted to be taken. Not home, because home was still his father’s house, and Michael avoided that place like the plague.

“You can drop me off at the Wild Pony,” Alex said quietly. “I’ll get a ride from Mimi.”

“Right.”

It wasn’t a long drive. Far too short, but neither of them talked. They sat in silence, the cab filling with unspoken words, dread and sadness neither of them could force past their lips. Michael wanted to tell him to be careful, wanted to beg him to stay, wanted to cry and scream and protest that it wasn’t fair for something to be this important and still be impermanent. He drove in silence and parked at the edge of the lot, giving Alex the chance to sneak away without being obvious about where he was coming from. That hurt, too.

“Oh, hey.” Alex paused with his hand on the door latch. “I have something for you, don’t leave.” He climbed out of the car and went running towards the building.

Michael stared after him, his hand on the gear shift, ready to escape if anyone else appeared, certain he’d misheard the request to wait. He could vaguely make out a figure in the doorway handing Alex a bundle of fabric—probably Mimi—and Alex gestured at her to go inside before running back towards Michael.

He pulled open the door and slid back inside, handing Michael a thin cd case. Michael took it cautiously and Alex shrugged, clearly embarrassed. “It’s um—it’s a mix cd. I made it a while ago, thought maybe you could use some good music for a change and it—it made me think of you, so.”

Michael considered the cd, brushing his fingers against the plastic, a sheet of paper with Alex’s handwriting on the inside of the case, listing a bunch of songs he didn’t know. It was very plain, no doodled hearts or personalization or anything, but still, it was something tangible that came from Alex, something Michael could hold, something given to him on purpose. He looked up at Alex with something like wonder. “Thank you,” he breathed, then recovering some swagger, “Knowing your music taste, not sure that counts as a gift, but…thanks.”

Alex smiled, and pulled Michael in for a kiss, short and searing and carrying so much that was unsaid that Michael felt the weight of it settle over him. He wasn’t ready for Alex to leave again, he was never going to be ready, and Alex was always going to leave because Michael was never going to be enough to keep him. That’s just how it was, but Michael knew he would never be able to stop trying to be enough.

“I think I might love you,” Michael said against Alex’s lips, unable to hold back the surge of emotion.

“Don’t.”

Alex breathed in sharply, and Michael could see a tear fall from Alex’s eye, neither of them acknowledging it. He kissed Michael again fiercely, and Michael knew it still wasn’t enough, and he knew that Alex wasn’t going to reply, and he knew that he would swallow it down and disappoint everyone and life would go on. It was inevitable that Alex would pull away, and it wasn’t until he did that Michael realized their hands were clenched together, the cd lying in his lap.

They didn’t do goodbyes, so Alex just smiled tightly and slipped out of the truck and into the bar, and that was it.

Michael drove home. He parked the truck and climbed into the trailer and showered, washing Alex Manes and every painful emotion he brought up down the drain with the soapy water.

Clean and changed and exhausted, Michael tried unsuccessfully to focus on work. His gaze kept going back to the stupid mix cd—who even did that anymore?—and eventually he gave in, rolling his eyes and trying not to feel anything as he started the cd playing.

He didn’t know the songs, and it wasn’t his taste, and it didn’t matter in the least. Michael sat on his bed and listened to the songs that reminded Alex of him.

Sitting there, Michael imagined that he could hear the sound of a jet overhead, carrying Alex out of New Mexico and out of Michael’s grasp; he imagined he could hear Alex’s footsteps, his uniform shoes clicking on the tiled airport floor, tapping anxiously against the floor of his father’s car. Michael listened to the cd and it felt like senior year; it felt like everything he’d ever tried to forget because it hurt and Michael didn’t know what to do with hurt except swallow it down or drink it dull; it felt like lying in the middle of the desert watching the sunlight dance on Alex’s face as he slept.

Michael listened to the cd again when it finished, and then again, and he let himself fall apart, alone in his trailer, mourning the life that they could have had, mourning the life that they never would. He listened until his eyes were sore and red and his chest burned with longing and he felt drained and exhausted. And then he took the cd and slipped it back into its case and put it inside of a cabinet, buried beneath other things, and tried to remember how to forget.

#mgweek20 #guerinweek20 #malex #lost decade #michael guerin #alex manes #roswell new mexico #rnm fic #my writing #angst #loving someone you can't be with #i'm really proud of this fic I hope y'all like it

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phantomrose96 · 4 years

Text

Just saw the new BNHA movie in theaters and it was really good!! Would recommend going to see it if you can.

SPOILERS BELOW HERE:

Really good and creative showcasing of all the Class 1-A students and letting literally all of them shine. Genuinely scary set of villains! The LoV with their pompous-ass upgraded look. My bitch son Hawks showing up JUST to say cryptic things like, 3 times. Wholesome Class 1-A interactions and shenanigans. And some really high budget fight animation.

(spoilers, like I mentioned) ONE thing though (that I’ve mentally already paved over), one thing that was a total missed opportunity imo was the whole - the like - what happens AFTER the big fight is over, after Deku’s transferred OfA to Bakugou, and Deku’s used up the last dregs of OfA. When All Might shows up and literally just like, “oh, by some miracle, Deku still has OfA, and not Bakugou.” followed by Bakugou forgetting ever having wielded OfA which is a big cop out.

What should have happened, imo, is this: The scene where All Might finds Deku and Bakugou beaten to hell out in the field still happens, but much shorter. Deku reveals he’s given OfA to Bakugou, apologizes tearfully to All Might, and promptly passes out. All Might confirms that yes, Bakugou is now the wielder of OfA.

Next scene is the three of them in the make-shift hospital room, where they talk through what happened. Deku is obviously frustrated, and maybe a little devastated, but he maintains that he doesn’t regret passing OfA to Bakugou in the heat of the moment. It was the only way he could possibly have won. Deku apologizes profusely to All Might for failing him, and he turns to Bakugou, and just asks that Bakugou use OfA for the sake of saving people.

At which point, teeth gritted, eyes scowling, expression deathly serious, Bakugou tells Deku no. He won’t. They argue a little bit, until Bakugou clarifies what he means by “won’t” as he pulls a strand of hair out of his own head. Their eyes meet. Deku suddenly understands.

“I told you to make this your own power, Deku. So do it. Make it your own. Take it back.”

Deku hesitates. “...Are you sure?”

“I’m doing this for All Might’s sake, not yours. He chose you, so why the hell should I have it, huh? Besides I don’t want this shitty power. I have my own already. Don’t insult me by implying the only way I can truly beat you is by stealing your own quirk from you, like All For One, like some villain. Take it back, so I can beat you for real.”

A bit of banter, a bit of back-and-forth, as the camera focuses on All Might, who’s gone from worried to smiling. A voice-over of his thoughts noting just how much Midoriya and Bakugou have grown - as heroes, as friends, as rivals.

There. That’s all they needed to do!

Like all the elements are there - Bakugou acknowledging Deku, and a return to the status quo while still allowing the events of the movie to have HAPPENED and be acknowledged!!

This is my stance and I’m sticking to it!!

BONUS: the shitpost idea (@hotcouchpotato‘s friend Alex’s idea)

Same idea as “Bakugou would give OfA back” but right as Bakugou is about to hand the strand of hair over to Deku, Todoroki leaps up like a piranha from beneath, chonps the hair, and says “All Might is my dad now.”

#boku no hero academia #my hero academia #boku no hero academia: heroes rising #my hero academia: heroes rising #my hero academia: heroes rising spoilers #bnha #mha #mha spoilers #bnha spoilers #this is a hard thing to tag spoilers for its a long title #i cant do full justice to the todoroki thing #but i doubled over in the emptying theater #when Alex put the image in my head and my brain short circuited

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imagine-lcorp · 5 years

Text

Use Somebody (One Shot)

Request

How about a post-season 4, where kara and lena have feelings for each other then to get back at kara for keeping her supergirl identity, lena rejects her and started dating reader but ends up really falling in love with the reader in the end. Reader gets at by Lena's ulterior motive. Angst with happy ending please. P.S. I really love your writings! :)

A/N: Okay guys, so furst of all I’m soo sooorry, I haven’t wirtten much, honestly October is like a pretty busy month for me but please know that I’m still around, trying to write and pretty much obssesing over Lena Luthor and Katie McGrath. Now, this little imagine was supposed to be angsty but it seems like my brain cannot function when writing angst so please forgive me because i think this is actually pretty bad but i did my best for you as always. Please let me know what you think, i hope you still like it and love y’all!!!!

Lena Luthor x R//Word Count: 1,904

-------------------------------------------------------------------

It was right after Lena broke the picture in her desk that she decided she had had enough. Enough lies, enough pretending, enough betrayal. Enough of a broken heart. So, when Kara visited her that morning to ask about her, Lena didn't hold back.

The confrontation couldn't have been more nerve wrecking for both of them. Lena didn't want to know anything about her anymore outside of what was strictly necessary. If Supergirl or the DEO needed her, she would comply and that was it. A courteous agreement for the greater good and to preserve the peace among them. It no longer mattered the reasons why Kara had kept her secret from her or how much she had claimed to care and love Lena. At the end of it all, Supergirl and Kara now fused in the same person, were confined to a corner in Lena's mind where a box with all she had made Lena feel once was sealed and left to never be opened again.

It had hurt Lena so deeply that she could only think how much she wanted her to hurt too, make her feel the same she was feeling. Wounded, hopeless, tired. A punishment to fit the crime.

Then you entered her office and she didn't know if it had been the alcohol or the way you looked at her from her door, so innocent and full of concern just like she used to.

"Sorry to bother you but I heard what happened. I thought you could use a friend."

"Thank you, (Y/N)." She smiled sadly at you. "I could definitely use one right now."

And so she did.

It was no secret that you had a crush on Lena, even she was pretty much aware to some extent about it, but you never made a move or showed more interest than it was necessary. There had always been a speck of hope that your friendship with her could became something else but you kept your distance on those matters.

But then Lena invited you on a date and then another and another, and date after date you tried to prove yourself more than just a good friend and someone she could trust.

When the Superfriends found out about you, they seemed relatively happy about it. Or most of them anyway.

You started to notice soon after the way Lena acted towards Kara. However, she never mentioned why it was like this and you also never questioned her about it. Their relationship was still in good terms as far as anyone could see. Lena had made sure of that. So not a single time it occurred to you that something was wrong. Or at least that was you said to yourself over and over and over.

The bites of tension every time Lena and Kara were in the same room. The way Kara kept her eyes on Lena trying to catch her attention, the extra politeness they dedicated to each other when their encounters were inevitable, and how Lena tried to stay on the other side of the room if Kara happened to be there too. Silly glances and coincidences that were made obvious in the was she tried too to stay close to you or showing a little more of affection if there were people around. If Kara was around.

Over and over you had convinced yourself it was due to the novelty of your relationship. How bad you wanted to be near each other, how in love you were with each other.

As the days with you passed, Lena started noticing a few things by herself. How little by little the ache and the sadness that had plagued her dissipated to shed some light on the new feelings nesting inside her heart.

At first, it was strange to realize thinking about Kara didn't hurt as much when you were around. You were by her side and on her side and that was more than enough at the end of the day, having one person to trust and love.

It was the careful, thoughtful way you cared for others and made them feel heard, the many things you liked and tried to share with her, the sound of your laugh when you found something funny on your phone, and the little quirks she had learned about you that were so you she couldn't imagine you without them. The way you looked at the world. The way you looked at her. All of you that helped her forget.

If only you had remained blind to real reason why Lena had choose you to stay by her side, it would have been enough for you too.

It was a Friday night, out with your friends and Lena that you finally found out. Between drinks and laughs and jokes and bad songs on the karaoke, you left Lena's side for a moment and headed to the bathroom. You hadn't notice Kara and Alex had gone there too.

"... this whole thing with (Y/N) and Lena, I know it's getting on your nerves." You heard Alex's voice before entering the bathroom and at the mention of your name you stopped.

"On my nerves?" Kara scoffed in response. "No, that's not what-" The sound of glass breaking made you jump a little.

"Well, you broke your drink." Alex remarked.

"Oh god, Alex, what am I suppose to do." Kara sounded tired. "They look like they are made for each other."

"I wouldn't go that far. I mean, do they look cute together? Kinda. Will that last? No. Why?"She pointed each question and answer and you frowned."It's obvious Lena has feelings for you. Why do you think she started dating (Y/N) in the first the place?"

"Because she hates me and is in love with someone else?"

"Because she's hurt." This was definitely something you didn't want to listen, but your feet had seemed to be glued to the ground. "From what I can see, this is Lena's rebound and I'm sorry (Y/N) had to be the one caught in the middle." You didn't listen to anything else after that.

No one could understand why you had left the bar in such a rush and neither did Lena until she called after you.

"(Y/N), wait!" You stopped dead in your tracks in the middle of the street at the sound of her pleading voice. It wasn't something you ever thought hearing from her. "Would you tell me what's going on?"

"Sure, I'll tell you what's going on." It was a second before the anger came back and you turned to face her. "Only if you tell me first, why did you ask me out the first time?"

She was taken aback for a moment at your question but took a couple of steps slowly towards you as if not scare you. "Because I like you (Y/N), why else would I-?"

"Are you sure it wasn't because you wanted to get at Kara?"

Lena didn't move. She couldn't. Because she knew there was truth in your words. So she let the silence fill the space between you before she was able to respond. Her answer was confirmation enough for you.

"It's not what you think."

"Not what I think?" You scoffed. "And what do I think, Lena? That this whole time I was only a piece you could use in your little game?"

"(Y/N), please, let me explain."

"What for?" Your voice kept rising at every word. "So we can keep pretending you had some kind of real interest in me? So I can keep making a damn fool of myself since I was the only one in lov-!"

You stopped yourself from finishing the final word as you felt your chest crumble and your voice break.

You closed your eyes for a moment and let out a ragged breath before looking back. "Did you even really cared?"

"(Y/N), I..." Yes, she had wanted to say. "I'm sorry." She said instead.

You swallowed trying to keep your voice from cracking. "Yeah, me too."

Lena couldn't seem to move anymore as you turned back and left. She realized too late she should have gone after you but the fear of rejection had made her stay behind.

She started calling soon after that, leaving messages, voice-mails, knocking on your door whenever she guessed you could be at home, only to find no answer. There was no reason to have an answer from you when all she had done was give you the same lies, the same pretense, and the same betrayal she had received from the person she used to love. A fitting punishment.

There were many times, however, when you had wanted to answer those calls. You would hear and read her messages over and over just to listen to her voice again. Although every time you listened to her you felt your heart grew heaver and heavier at every word. Because you loved Lena and it was impossible to you to understand how she was capable of playing you the way she did. You had believed every single word that came out of her mouth, not seeing the calculated moves and actions behind them. Or rather, you hadn't wanted to see them.

"(Y/N)." She called through your door one last time after many days she had spent trying to get a word from you. "I know I'm the last person you want to see ever again, but I want you to know that...I'm sorry."

"I was so angry and hurt by someone that I believed using someone else was a good idea to hurt them too. So, when you entered my office that day, my mind was already plotting vengeance. But you were so good with me, so caring and kind, that I started to forget why I had done all of it in the first place."

"I'm sorry." She repeated. "I love you, (Y/N), and I hope you can forgive me someday."

Lena pressed her forehead on your door and left out a defeated sigh not expecting it to open. She waited for a moment, her last hope of getting an answer.

She didn't receive any.

She turned to leave, finally accepting the fact that her mistake had been too great for you to ever forgive her. If it had been her on the other side of the door, she wouldn't have opened it either, she thought.

But then she heard the knob turning and the little squeak your door did every time when opening and she stopped herself one step from your door. She turned again to see you looking at her with a frown she couldn't quite read. It may have been anger, tiredness, confusion, a mix of all of those even, but when you spoke your voice was filled with concern. The same way you had looked at her that morning from a long time ago.

"You seem like you could use a friend." You said.

"Yeah." She swallowed. "I could use one."

Behind your door you had heard, her words so true that even when you couldn't see her you knew, that for everything she had said and done before there must have been something true. So you swung the door open wide and let her in once more, and that was enough.

#lena luthor #imagine lena luthor #lena luthor imagine #lena luthor x reader #lena luthor imagines #one shot #request #use somebody #angst #lena luthor x you #lena x reader #lena x you

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i-need-air · 3 years

Note

💘

hiiii, I saw you were doing match ups so...👉🏼👈🏼

Ok, Hi! I’m 5’5, black hair and eyes (actually i dyed a piece cause u know...quarantine), a nose ring, a few tattoos and I’m latina.

I don’t really know what to say about me lol, I’m an ENTP and I love a lot of things: books, fantasies, fanfics, politics, dance, skating, singing, playing music, partying, crying for fictional men, u know the drill

I’m a little bit sarcastic but in a kind way, I care too much about the others to say anything mean. But my rising is Aries so...I’m not the calmest person alive, at least not when someone is messing with my friends or my sister. Besides that i’m really chill, I usually am the friend who doesn’t know what’s happening and is just laughing about something stupid I remembered.

I like to know things (although i don’t really study cause honestly, i dont know how) I see myself as an smart ass who unfortunately only has two brain cells.

Growing up I based all my personality in Alex Russo and Erika from the Barbie Movie the princess and the pauper. I was obsessed with Zuko and Leo Valdez (the percy jackson and harry potter phase is not a phase!!!)

I’m really into spirituality and my family raised me to be really open to religion.

I would like to be paired with a hero but, LOV RIGHTS!!!!!!!!

Aries and ENTP. I sense fiery chaos and I love it??? Definitely see Sero by your side. He matches your energy but also grounds you down just enough.

Btw, "crying for fictional men" got to me. I felt that lmfao

Sero:

× First of all, you're absolutely gorgeous in his eyes. Legit stunning and he lets out a shaky breath every time he sees you.

× Nicknames bc this guy knows spanish so expect to be called mi amor, cariño, mi ángel, preciosa... and whenever nobody is looking in public he gonna wrap his arms around you from behind and whisper Te quiero in your ear. 🥺

× He's chill but can be very chaotic and this guy knows how to have fun! Your relationship would be filled with laughter and joy, trust me.

× Sero would also be into all your hobbies if you let him. Likes to just spend time with you and bond together. [I just imagined Cellophane dude trying to skate and failing miserably at first sjdhsh cutesy]

× You getting protective over the people you love? Big time this guy will RESPECT 😤✊

#noire writes #valentine event

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alsparaarchive · 3 years

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𝑨𝒍𝒍 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑾𝒂𝒚 𝑻𝒐 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑬𝒅𝒈𝒆 𝑶𝒇 𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒓𝒆 / Alex & Sid

Date: February 1, 2021 Location: Alex’s Winter Garden home in Florida

Summary: A reconnection; Sid seeing Charlie for the first time ; “I want to make this work..” and “Stay with me... stay with us.”

Date Started: February 1, 2021 Date Completed: February 5, 2021

Sidney “When setting expectations, no matter what has been said or written, if substandard performance is accepted and no one is held accountable—if there are no consequences—that poor performance becomes the new standard.” With a nod to no one but himself, Sidney let the wheel of his rented SUV slip through his fingers, as he turned off the main highway and headed in the direction that Alex had just pinged him. Maybe she’d been joking. Maybe she really hadn’t expected him to board a flight from NY to Florida that night and show up at her door at some unholy hour for ‘coffee.’ The thought had crossed his mind. It was the reason why he’d slammed his phone into the car’s USB port (it took him awhile to find it) and threw on the audiobook he’d been listening to for the last couple of days about leadership… in life, in lov… was he still calling it that? He sighed and turned the wheel again. The traffic lights all going green as he neared them, because he really was the last one out on the road tonight. His phone pinged (again) and he told himself to ignore it. It wasn’t safe to reach for it now and truthfully, he was determined to just show up outside of Alex’s house and knock. If it turned out, she’d changed her mind or cancelled he wasn’t exactly sure if he’d have the heart for tomorrow’s flight back to NY and the game that was to follow it. So, instead of answering or looking to see who it was pinging him, he settled on the audiobook and listening to Jocko again, because maybe that was where he’d gone wrong the first time. He’d lacked accountability for the both of them. Which yeah was strange because when had he, Sidney Crosby ever lacked accountability for anything… oh, yeah right… when he got tripped up by brunette hair and the girl caught up underneath it. ‘You have reached your destination.’ Thankfully he made it through the gates relatively unscarred by the Security Chief on duty—turns out his name still held some sway down here, and he was able to use it to get clearance. Upon arriving at Alex’s place, Sidney turned off his rental and walked over to the big doors that seemed larger than life compared to his back home in Nova Scotia, his hand finding the doorbell and --- oh maybe this was where he should try texting and not wake her baby up. Pulling his phone up and not even looking to see if the texts he got might've been from her or not he texted, ‘I’m here.’ And waited. Hands nervously at his side, but maybe pockets would be a safer option…

Alex New York City, Sidney was in New York City for God's sake, he wasn't actually going to show up for /coffee/ was he? That seemed ridiculous but of course she left the option open in case he had actually been serious. It was early enough in the night when they had first texted but now it was late and Alex somehow managed to fall asleep on her sofa under her favorite knitted throw blanket that Trina had made for her a couple Christmases back. It was the loud ding of her phone that jerked the brunette awake, mostly cursing herself for forgetting to put it on vibrate after Charlie fell asleep. Blue eyes squinted at the bright lights of her phone, trying to read what the text said as her eyes adjusted to light again. That was until they went wide at the words she was reading. Here? Already? What time was it? Fuck... She didn't want to be rude and leave him waiting outside in the chilly February air but boy did she wish she could've ran to the bathroom first to fix up her hair and makeup, maybe even brush her teeth again. But it wasn't like Sid hadn't already seen her at her worst and still chose to wake up next to her and kiss her good morning anyway so she refrained and padded her way from the living room, across her 'grand entry way' which was actually far less grand than in the house she shared with Servando but that was neither here nor there. A hand quickly raked it's way through her hair smoothing out any frizz or knots that could've made their way into it while she slept on the couch and then she opened the door, her heart stopping in the process, especially once she saw Sidney on the other end. It took her a second before she could even say anything, her breath and words caught in the back of her throat until she rasped out a little "hi.. sorry, yeah, hi.. come in." Smoooth, Alex... real smooth.

Sidney The thirty-three-year-old penguin centre wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting; maybe a thumbs up, not that that was her usual emoji of choice but, seriously he needed to stop thinking about it… as he continued to stare down at his phone and ignore the feeling creeping in all around him that he’d screwed up here. Of course, it had been insane to just show up like this… no, seriously what had he been thinking? He forced his phone back into his pocket mad for letting some audiobook take advantage of him and mad at possibly jeopardising the team, because he wanted to fly to Florida for the night and see his ex-girlfriend again… Only, before he really had a chance to let it sink in any deeper… the door was open and there she was. The same as ever. Which was bad, because he really had wanted this to be easy… maybe a night where they could let the past go and talk about the future, a future where they could be friends. And maybe that was still the case, it was just, he kind of wanted to kiss her a little more. “Hi.” It was weird, because it wasn’t. A smile shaping across his face as he took a step—oh wait. “Hold up.” He ran back over to the car and grabbed out the small penguin plushie he’d picked up at some store in the airport. He’d initially wanted to get Charlie a proper Pittsburgh Penguin one, but the fan store had been closed and he wasn’t about to show up at Alex’s without a gift for her new baby. His mom had raised him with manners after all. Half-jogging, half-walking back over to her, Sidney held up the gift he’d bought, “had to get her something from her favorite hockey player, right?” It was then, as he stepped in around her that he realised that she must have fallen asleep waiting for him, her hair falling at every angle that wasn’t where it usually would. Hand reaching up, Sidney brushed a few strands behind her ear, “did you fall asleep on me?” his voice teased her, as his smile continued to grow a little larger with every breath slipping out between them… he’d missed this. He’d missed her.

Alex The puzzled look on her face soon subsided when she saw her ex holding the penguin stuffed animal which brought an immediate smile to her face. The gesture was the sweetest thing. "You didn't have to do that but I'm sure she'll love it, thank you." She took the plushie from him and looked down at it, still smiling, as he stepped inside. She closed and locked the door behind them and set the penguin down on the table she had next to the stairs so she would remember to bring it up to her daughter's room. Turning back she wasn't expecting him to be standing that close to her at all, her breath hitching when she felt his fingers brush ever so softly against her face and then behind her ear. Alex looked up at him and gave a sheepish smile at his question. "Guilty," it came out in almost a whisper. The striker had no idea what to do with herself in that moment but was quick to clear her throat and pull away to lead him into the kitchen. "Did you really want coffee at this hour?"

Sidney He brushed her words to the side, because of course he did… his mom would’ve had his earlobe in between her two fingers and pinching hard, if she found out he’d just shown up outside of Alex’s house and hadn’t brought something for her new baby— actually maybe he shouldn’t mention this to his mom... “And here I thought you’d have been waiting up for me…” they were playing a dangerous game… or he was and he knew it, but still he couldn’t stop himself. And it wasn’t like he wasn’t fully aware she now had a tiny baby only a few feet away— he’d brought the penguin, he knew— it was just hard to care in that moment when the last he’d seen her they’d been quick to push niceties aside and make up for lost time… “probably not a good idea… how about a water?” He followed her into her new kitchen taking it all in. She’d done a good job here. Though he was sure Pam had had her way more than once or twice… “so, you’re back…” Words he’d always wanted to say. “Have you ticked everything off you wanted to do since you landed…” he was fully aware she’d been back for awhile now, but she hadn’t been back in his life… and that was where he needed the blanks filled in by her.

Alex "Things are different now; remember how I used to take hours to fall asleep? Now I sit down in front of the tv for ten minutes and I'm out like a light. I guess doing the whole mom thing will do that to you." Her words rang out through the hall as she walked him into the kitchen, nodding in agreement with the suggestion of water. She grabbed one for each of them out of the fridge and walked back over to Sidney handing him the bottle. Alex leaned back against the breakfast nook counter and had to stop her arm after it had managed to get midway from her side to his shirt, the way she'd always pull him in closer. Not this time. To be safe she set her own bottle of water down and then crossed her arms over her chest and nodded along with his words. "I'm back," the brunette echoed. "I'm not sure I had much of a list but if I did then no maybe not now that I think about it." Not that she was going to divulge what those things were that she had yet to tick off. "What about you? What have you been up to?"

Sidney He did remember that. Of course, there were nights where that hadn’t been a problem… but he wasn’t going to bring that up right now. The bottle remained unopened in his hand as he nodded and without even realising he’d been doing it notice the space that was so clearly left between them both tonight. Even when they’d first met there hadn’t been this much space between them, but then again neither of them had known the full consequence of what would happen when it did manage to disappear. Wow, had it really been nearly six years since he’d first met Alex, at that bar back in Vancouver… taking a sip he distracted himself from yet another long-lived relationship he’d apparently failed to succeed at. Though, really what was success in the terms of a relationship? With Kathy he thought it would be kids…. With Alex… he kind of hoped it would be everything… he swallowed the water down hard and had to bring the back of his hand up to his mouth to wipe the access away, “uh… you know, just hockey… you weren’t…” he swallowed again, but this time there was no water to soothe the motion… “like alone during… like…” he wasn’t even sure what he was asking… he knew her mom and sister was bound to be there, but still… maybe it was the traditionalist inside of him that wanted to make sure that she hadn’t been completely abandoned either… “do you still keep in contact with Charlie’s dad?”

Alex It was a completely reasonable question, one that should’ve been expected, and yet she hadn’t prepared for it at all. What was she going to say? Not once had she ever hoped Charlie would wake up and start crying for her but there she was practically boring holes into the baby monitor sitting on the other end of the counter as if she could will just that to happen — but nothing, not a peep from the eight month old and she had to hold in her sigh. Looked like there wouldn’t be an easy way out. “Sid, I—“ she stammered, tears stinging her eyes but she refused to let them do anything more than that. “My family was there, I wasn’t alone.” She didn’t even want to get into the trouble she had while giving birth, it hadn’t gone nearly as smoothly as expected but Alex was nothing if not a fighter and everything turned out okay so there was no need to rehash that and worry him for nothing. She tried to find the words to either lie or be completely honest with him about the father but she couldn’t make either happen, all Alex could do was shrug and bite her bottom lip looking anywhere but at his face in that moment.

Sidney From the first moment he’d seen her reaction to his question, he’d found himself regretting it. There had a been a few times in his life that he’d seen Alex cry; like that stupid time he’d taken her out to a batting cage in Pittsburgh, and some idiot in the cage across them had clipped a ball into her head just as she’d been taking off her helmet to kiss him…, but that had been fixed with a trip to ER (she had’t wanted to go but he’d persisted) and a night of ‘anything you want… /anything,’ which she’d definitely taken full advantage of. And that was just it though… in the past he’d been able to fix it… now as much as he wanted to do something to put her at ease, he didn’t think it would be appreciated. “I shouldn’t have brought it up. I’m sorry.” He was, as he put the water back down on the counter and stepped in closer, because fuck it… arms wrapping around her pulling her in against his chest and holding her there— well, at least as long as she’d allow him to, “you know, you could’ve called me… I’d have… been there.” He hadn’t been sure. At least when he’d first seen the photos of her pregnant belly beginning to swell, but slowly as she grew closer to the date he had thought about ringing her or letting her know that if she needed anything… he’d be there.

Alex Her mind seemed to be spinning in all different directions as he pulled her in to his chest but of everything her mind was screaming nothing shouted at her to pull away and so she let herself melt into him, grabbing hold of the back of his shirt like that was somehow going to steady herself and anchor her thoughts back down. She might've wanted to sob but she didn't, she didn't even cry, just took a few deep breaths trying to ignore that each one meant breathing in his scent. To this day nothing had ever intoxicated her more which was saying a lot for anyone who had seen all the evidence of her being drunk for a good few days straight after the World Cup. She wanted to shake him, beg him to do the math and ask her if there was a chance he could be the father but instead she pressed her forehead into his chest, sighing. She almost said something but she stopped herself just before she did knowing it was better to wait until she knew for sure. "Don't," she pleaded in a whisper. Don't make her admit that she wanted nothing more than for him to be there holding her hand through the whole experience, that through every second of the complicated birth all she wanted was to hear his voice telling her she would be okay, that she could get through it and everything was going to be fine. That she and her baby would be happy and healthy once it was all over. Sure she'd heard it all from her mom but if she was honest, it just wasn't what she wanted, wasn't what she needed. Now knowing he would've been there, even thinking there was no way the baby was his, it nearly broke her. The striker picked up her head and looked into his eyes, her hand sliding up from his chest to his face and she rested it there against the little bit of scruff. She knew she was walking that very thin line but in the moment of vulnerability she didn't care.

Sidney The first time Alex had kissed him, Sidney had been completely unprepared. A piece of chewing gum lodged somewhere in the back of his mouth, needing to be swallowed up quickly in order to make sure he didn’t completely blow it and lose any chance he had at getting another one out of her later that night… who kisses at the start of the date anyway? Alex Morgan that’s who. Just not tonight. He watched as her eyes remained on his own. His hand now moving from its original position too. Only where her hand had found the side of his face, his hand had found the hot skin stretched across her hip… “Alex…” this was where he should warn her. That if she kept her hand there and her gaze locked on his own he was going to have to do something about it. But, just as she’d once done with him, Sidney decided to forgo the warning he’d had planned for her and do something completely and utterly insane, which was… kiss her. Where the four extra inches they only a moment ago had between each other disappeared entirely. Time was a funny thing and time without Alex had only made whatever 'need' he'd once had to get closer to her, much more urgent.. his hand gripping her hip just a little harder than it had before and his mouth eagerly trying to get her own to open up to it… she wanted this, right? He snapped back. Maybe he’d overstepped. Again. Maybe this time this was a line she’d had no intention of crossing… “sorry… I… sorry…” he needed to shut up. Wait to hear what she wanted, but his hands were already fidgeting… eager to find their way back to her. Though which part of him wasn’t right now? That was the real question.

Alex The way he was looking at her, the way he said her name, she had to know it was coming and yet for some reason the kiss felt like a total surprise. Shocked, it took her body a few extra seconds to react but before she could even kiss him back he was jerking away and apologizing. She wondered if she should just tell him it’s okay, not to worry about it, and quickly suggest they do something else to busy them but doing that, she realized, would betray every bone in her body, every organ and square inch of flesh. The first time she kissed Sidney was because for years it felt like she might burst into flames if she didn’t get to at least once and while she tried to make it to the end of their date, she really did, just knowing there was nothing stopping her anymore, she couldn’t take it. She had to have him. Much like right now. This time it might’ve only been about a year and a half but even one second without him felt like an eternity. Her heart still beat to the spelling of his name, every part of her knew who it belonged to and they’d all have the same answer — Sidney Crosby. She remembered right before she could respond that he made some kind of promise to behave himself in her kitchen tonight and while that might’ve already been somewhat blown she wanted to make sure he kept that promise while also somewhat throwing him off. The striker shook her head and took hold of his wrist. She lead them into her living room and pushed him back just enough to make the back of his legs feel the arm rest of the sofa right there behind him and then urged him to sit on it. “You said you promised to behave yourself in the kitchen...” she made it sound like she was looking for another apology but before he could the footballer had moved herself in closer, straddling his lap. She let her hands toy with his shirt a bit and just as her cold hands met the warm flesh against his abs she shocked him with something else, her mouth crashing back into his. “Maybe I don’t want you to,” her other arm hooked around his neck as she desperately pushed their bodies against one another’s, kissing him like she was so sure she’d never be able to again.

Sidney He’d never minded the quiet. Actually, Sidney was known for seeking it out… isolation, peace, serenity, yeah all of that… he’d take it over some stuffy room with music loud enough to pump your own blood for you anytime the choice presented itself. Only just not tonight. Not when the quiet meant he didn’t know what she was thinking. Usually he was good at that, working out what she wanted before she actually did— like, if she’d been running late for practice and he’d manage to pick up that cleat that had been wedged somewhere beneath the coffee table… raising it above his head for her to take without taking his eyes off ESPN. But tonight he wasn’t sure what she wanted. Maybe what was going on right now, was that she was taking her time to try and work out how to tell him to leave, because what he’d just done wasn’t a good idea with her new baby just one story above them… or maybe, hopefully she was trying to tell him she wanted him to do it again, and again till both of them loss feeling in their lips. The thirty-three-year-old Canadian had never felt so lost. Which was saying something because he’d once been in a car with Geno listening to some sort of Russian Rap thing of his and he’d been pretty damn lost back then too. He watched her shake her head and fought off the urge to sink into the floor that had suddenly turned into quicksand below his feet… right… a thought he barely managed to process before her fingers had wrapped around his wrist and tugged him forward. He moved as his thoughts began to jump off every surface inside his head like some make-shift game of Pong… ‘cause what was she… OH he let her guide him down onto the sofa like some sort of child (which was probably what he looked like right now… eyes big… mouth opened wide to question just about everything that was happening). Not that anything managed to pass through. Speaking had become a hard thing to muster when you had Alex Morgan, straddling your lap and her hands somewhere beneath the many layers you really shouldn’t have worn in the first place… so, it made sense that after her next set of words Sidney had stayed silent… his mouth instead finding another use— which was to push his tongue into her mouth instead. Lips moved quickly, as his own hands found their place… a hand on her thigh tapping slowly and the other slowly creeping up the back of her own shirt… It was probably no surprise to her that something had started to stir awake underneath her, because when had the brunette ever crawled on top of him and not felt that… he just wished sometimes he wasn’t so damn predictable with her… maybe he should take her back to the kitchen… but that would involving moving and losing that pressure she had against his lap right now… and he didn’t want that. So, predictable it was, as he took his hand back out of her shirt and tugged it up and over her head… his mouth moving away from her lips to cover up new skin (because this was definitely new) that he’d just now released.

Alex She had to stop being so easy, so predictable, but who could help themselves when it was Sidney Crosby's lips pressed against their own? She was willing to bet she was just the first in an impossibly long line of women /and men/ who would kill to be in her exact spot right now and what made her so special if she was just another one throwing herself at him? What ever made her so special to begin with? That she would probably never understand. The striker was starting to realize there would probably never be a time they didn't greet each other with such a hello and in a moment of so many questions she had no idea how to feel about that. Every time she had him inside of her she swore he took another piece of her away with him when it was all said and done which had been fine when they were knee deep in falling madly in love but like this? A future so uncertain? Could she handle losing another piece if he decided to up and walk away in the morning, chalking this up to them being /them/ but ultimately thinking it was a bad idea? Could she handle it if maybe she got lucky and he did want to work things out but threw that all away in a fit of rage after learning there was a good chance Charlie was his? She couldn't do this and let go again, she knew she couldn't but there she was letting herself get lost in his touch anyway. Alex had to fight back a moan at the familiar sensation of his hands on her skin. He'd have to work harder than that to hear those again, she was determined but it became increasingly harder when she felt him underneath her, the pressure and friction in a spot she wished made her less weak. Her head fell back, long brunette locks like a waterfall cascading down over her back and his arm. She closed her eyes and bit down on her bottom lip hard enough to stifle any kind of noise that threatened to erupt from her throat but her breaths getting heavier as his kisses crossed her chest, the rise and fall of her diaphragm, was probably a dead giveaway. Her hands found the back of his head as she let him rediscover her but there was only so much she could take before she was tugging back on what little hair he had making him look back up at her. Her eyes searched his as she leaned forward again, hair falling down to frame both their faces now and her lips crashed back into his but what was fast and hungry just moments ago she turned into slow, deep, passionate, only breaking their contact to remove both layers of his shirts. The soccer star pushed Sidney back on the couch and let them both reposition comfortably but she didn't dare move from being on top of him. She took both his strong, muscular arms and raised them above his head, wanting to pin him down but she did so in a way that had her hands sliding into his, their fingers interlocking and she squeezed tightly before lips found his earlobe, teeth grazing it gently and she let him feel her breath. She wanted to whisper how much she missed him, wanted him, needed him, but all that came out was a stammer of breath as she just barely grinded her hips down against him. Alex picked her head up again and looked into his eyes like she was letting everything she wanted to say pour out from her own. "Sid.." she breathed out as her forehead fell down pressing against his.

Sidney Sidney knew that at any moment, Alex could change her mind and this feeling he hadn’t felt since that party of her’s, where she’d ended up with a whole packet of confetti all stuck in between her hair, the same very party he’d also attempted for a moment to free her of said confetti; first with his fingers than his body, as he picked her up and pushed his hips into her own… could be gone in an instant. And yet, he wasn’t going to let that fear stop him either… His hands coming up to the sides of her cheeks, pushing brown hair back away, so when she pushed her lips back to his own again the only thing between them was stale air… And there it was a sense of home that not even his house back home in Nova Scotia, had. He lifted his arms up next… letting her free him of the two layers he’d naively thought he was going to need tonight… before his arms wrapped back around her, as she pushed him back and he manoeuvred them both till it was only his shoes still hanging off it. Mouth still on her own, Sidney used his right foot to free his left, before doing the same to the other… the sounds of his shoes hitting the carpet beneath them both lost somewhere between him no longer carrying and the softness of it all. He’d have smiled if he’d been less worried— still half certain that any minute, Alex’s other half was going to step back through the doors and tell him he didn’t belong there anymore… a thought that grabbed ahold of his chest, squeezing back hard… because he wasn’t sure he’d be okay with that tonight. Might even put up a fight that for once didn’t involve two sets of hockey gloves coming off. Eventually he found himself being brought back to reality, when her hands found his own and raised them up over the top of his head, her fingers sliding in between his own next to keep them there… not that he’d have fought her… Alex having complete and utter control over his body wasn’t just something he was used to, but something that his body had been craving for just over a year now… The evidence that had been not-so-slowly building up inside his boxer briefs and the jeans that encased them probably all the proof he needed to give her right now that he wasn’t going anywhere tonight if she didn’t want him to. With her forehead pressed to his own, his name still fresh in the air (was it possible to only ever have her say his name from now on?), he pushed his hips up against her… hoping that she got her answer, but just in case… “give me back my hand… I want to touch you…” Bold? Maybe. He didn’t care as he pulled against her, before sliding his hand down between her legs and adding a different kind of pressure than earlier… his fingers fiddling around with the fabric as he knotted it up and managed to get his hand underneath just her panties… the breaths coming out of his mouth as he continued to move them against her, quicker than his from earlier.

Alex She didn’t let go of his hand but she didn’t fight him when he started to fight against the weight she was using on her wrists to keep him restrained and before she could do or say much of anything his hand was pushing it’s way past any and all fabric covering the one place she was starting to need him the most. If she couldn’t feel how hard he was underneath her she might be embarrassed with how wet she already was for him but it seemed that was completely mutual. Her breaths picked back up and she used her free hand to dig into his flesh at the side of his hip as she struggled to hold herself up enough for him to keep doing what he was to her. She had been so adamant about making him work for her moans but after a few shallow breaths one slipped out right as her lips found his again. If there was one thing Alex was sure of anymore it was that Sidney was her kryptonite and more than likely always would be. She couldn’t help but start moving her hips against his hand slightly as he pleasured her better than anyone else ever knew how. It didn’t surprise her that it took him no time at all to find that spot that drove her crazy because she had his entire body memorized as well. “Sidney...” his name again but this time it was a lot more desperate, begging for more of him. Both hands met at his jeans and started to undo them maybe a little too eagerly but the faster she had them off the quicker his hand could be replaced with what she needed most of all. “Please.” Her body trembled not only with the anticipation but with every other earlier thought swirling around in her mind as well. But she wanted... no, she NEEDED him especially after what he was just doing to her.

Sidney Fingers pulled against not exactly wet but not exactly dry either fabric as he continued to do his best to bring her close to the edge… It wasn’t that he’d planned to finish her off this way when he’d first put his hand down between her legs and took up his hold of her, but now that he’d had a moment to think about it, the thought had crossed his mind that maybe this should be enough for them both tonight. It wouldn’t be but he was trying really hard to stay open to the possibility of it, just in case she told him to stop because she still had some sort of healing to do. What was the timeframe on that anyway? If his head had been clearer he’d have tried to do that math, but with her mouth on his own again… he hadn’t got very far with the whole thing. Already forgetting about his plan to keep his pants on when she started to tug at his waist line… ‘cause okay if she wanted them off he wasn’t about to say no. Moving his hand from underneath her; already missing the warmth he’d left behind, he brought it up around her waist and rolled her underneath him… his nose brushing against her forehead as he balanced and watched her make quick work of the pants she’d just been asking him to get rid of. With a few awkward shuffles… Sidney had managed to pull them down to his ankles, his feet now taking over to finish the job as he brought his hand across her face, “you want this, right?” It was a stupid thing to ask, but he had to make sure… even if he wasn’t some sixteen-year-old kid and she wasn’t some girl he’d randomly picked up at a friend’s party. Sure there was a history there, but that was exactly why he needed to ask. Had to make sure that by sleeping with her tonight she wasn’t going to completely end up hating him by end of it. ‘Cause he wasn’t sure he’d be able to live with that.

Alex She could always tell when there was a shift in him and watching Sid carefully she waited to see if he would speak what was on his mind. She wondered if any of it came close to being the same as what had been swirling around in her head since this all started and by the time the question rolled off his tongue she realized he was just as unsure as she was about where they stood with each other. She couldn't help but let a soft smile take over her features, thinking it was sweet to ask. Just like before, her hand found the side of his face, being as tender as she could with him even in the midst of passion and while looking into his eyes so he knew she was sure, Alex nodded. "I want you," she whispered leaning up to kiss him to stop herself from saying anything more while her mind ran rampant with "I always want you. I need you. I love you." /That/ would've all been way too much. "But only if this is what you want, if you're sure. I'm perfectly okay if you just want to just lay here and hold me." And she was... she just wanted to be close to him in any way he'd allow. It still blew her mind that he flew all the way here, probably not expecting this in the slightest because she knew when he said coffee it probably meant some very awkward conversation that wouldn't end the way she wanted it to at all so this was so much better than what she had been expecting. Soft petal lips made their way back to his after her tongue ran over them and now her kisses turned sweet, tender, loving. He'd gotten every kind out of her in such a short amount of time. "Just be here with me," she breathed out against his lips and pulled him down, kissing him more. Whatever he chose to do from here at least he knew she'd want and be more than okay with it. She really never could say no to him.

Sidney It was funny but, Sidney was fairly certain, not even an earthquake could’ve shaken his soul as much as that whisper of her’s had just done... Soul? She’d been the one to make him put a name to it… a name that made sense amongst her family’s household, which was where he was at when he’d first felt like he was losing it… losing her… Only this time she wasn’t a week out from flying to Lyon, but underneath him.. telling him all she wanted right now was him. This wasn’t a tug… or sudden evaporation of air… this was a squeeze and one that had his body eager to kiss her back and tell her just how much he wanted her back. Only she’d pulled back away again and was making excuses for him to stop… he didn’t want to…, but he let her finish… falling in closer and sliding up around and behind her as she asked him to just be there with her, “I’m always going to be here with you, Alex…” it might not have seemed it, but really when had he really left her? Not really. Not in any permanent sense. Shifting back around, Sidney slowly started to build up the momentum again, as his hand slipped down and freed her legs from that last bit of fabric separating her from him… waiting for her to do the same with his own…, and then after another shuffle or two he was finally free from whatever kind of elastic that had the nerve to be marketed as ‘comfortable’ — just not when you had Alex Morgan, underneath you, telling you she wanted you… He felt her hot centre and wet folds come into contact with his own skin… and took a moment to slide himself a couple of times through— His eyes slipping shut as his mouth pushed up against her own. It all felt insanely good. Not just, because he hadn’t been in this position since the last time he’d had sex with her, but because maybe unlike last time this didn’t have to end again. After pulling his lips back, Sidney stole a look down at his hardened length; its tip lying on top of her… just a few inches from where he really wanted it to be… Hand moving down, he managed to line himself up near her entrance… eyes reconnecting with her own as he finally broke through… a groan slipping out into the space between them the moment he had, “Alex..." not a question... statement... letting her know... she was who he wanted. She was who he couldn't seem to stop himself from coming back to.

Alex It wasn't easy to take Alex's breath away but the way he just told her he'd always be there with her did just that. She wasn't sure if her heart stopped or sped up (was it possible to do both at the same time?) after hearing it. She fought desperately not to let all her emotions come flooding to the surface. Not now. Not yet. She needed him first, the rest could all come later. Thankfully it didn't seem she'd have to wait long now that they were both free from what was left of their clothing. The feeling of him sliding against her awoken something inside her that she swore she'd probably never feel again after the last time they'd been in a similar position. Everything felt like so much, the slowness making her feel every tiny sensation surging through her body and she wasn't sure how much more she could take. She was almost about to beg again when instead it was her name filling up the space between them, his body finally becoming one with her own again. Like it was a reflex her legs wrapped up around him and she pulled him in closer, needing to kiss him even more than she had that first date or any other time she felt like his lips were the only thing that could bring her any oxygen. Her lips worked tirelessly against his own until another moan and then a break of the kiss to moan out his name, her light blue eyes going a much darker shade with desire as they flickered up to look into his. Although she was positive he already knew, why else would they keep coming back to each other? Alex was so determined to show him just how /his/ she truly was. With heavy breaths she used her own hips to urge him to begin thrusting himself. Her eyes closed tightly as another moan slipped out, her head falling back. It was her first time having sex since she had Charlie and she always wondered if things would feel the same afterward. Eight, nearly nine months was more than plenty of time to heal and as she felt him get deeper inside of her she was beginning to realize it somehow felt even better.

Sidney If he’d been prompted for one… hungry is the word he’d have used to describe the way his lips had pushed back, after her own hips had started to move underneath him for the first time since he’d slipped inside. Yet, despite that… he had started off slow… and deliberate… which allowed his mouth to slip away from her lips and instead focus on the sensitive skin beside her neck and collarbone. Skin where it was all too easy to get carried away and leave marks that she’d have to complain about again tomorrow, when the light of day caught sight of them… he’d apologise later… right now he was busy. Hand shifting down her arm as he shifted slowly inside her… still the same…. which had him groaning into her neck and tightening his hold against her wrist… Now, more than ever, Sidney was reminded of the time between this and there last time… which along with her hips… had him moving faster. It was becoming increasingly harder to focus… his lips returning back up towards her face, where they were forced to clumsily meet with her own, as the groans started to slip out more freely between the air there in front of them… Was he making too much noise? Not that he could’ve done a thing about it if he had been. At least not when Alex felt as good as she always had and he was just beginning to realise why this had always been so easy with her… she knew him… every single part of him… “do you need me—“ he broke apart, asking her the question he wasn’t sure he really wanted to know the answer to, because if she said yes… he was going to have to really pay attention and right now he wasn’t sure he’d be able to…

Alex He wasn't playing fair going for her neck like that but if she was honest she hadn't expected anything less. He always knew and typically utilized every way he knew how to bring her to the precipice embarrassingly fast but tonight she had the excuse of being worked up by his fingers first as well, not that it probably would've made much of a difference. Her first always came pretty quickly with him, it was her second that she could withstand typically for as long as he needed her to. Her breaths grew more shallow and frequent as she felt herself clench around him, so close to the release and contraction of muscles. She wanted to scream out for him but this wasn't like any other time she didn't care much about who heard the loud cry of his name. She didn't dare wake Charlie this way even if she was too young to understand it. The footballer leaned forward and bit into Sidney's shoulder stifling a symphony of moans as she came for him. Once the orgasm was fully ridden out she released the patch of skin that her teeth had definitely just branded and laid back panting but still begged him not to stop knowing he still had yet to reach his own climax. She had made a habit of knowing how to make sure her second time aligned perfectly with his first so they could come together. Something she never cared about doing with anyone until him, wanting the experience to feel even more intimate between the two of them. "Shhh," she shook her head. "You're okay, baby. Don't stop." Her lips found his again and she continued to moan into the hollows of his mouth reveling in the feeling of having him inside her, hitting all the right places. Her fingernails dug gently into his back but raked down with just enough force to leave marks that would more than likely last the night but disappear by morning. Most of them anyway. "Sidney," she moaned out quietly knowing from more than enough experience by now that hearing her say his name always helped bring him closer.

Sidney When sharp teeth met his shoulder and bit down… Sidney almost saw stars… not because it hurt, but because at the same time, he felt her walls wrapped around him start to constrict and — it had just been so long since he’d felt that. It kind of felt good, to know he still had it in him to get her to that point again. Not that he was doubting his skills…, more so the emotion behind each and every one of them… they’d spent so much time making love to one another that now that they were here tonight and those words hadn’t been uttered between them, well it was different. He did love her still though. That hadn’t stopped. Even after their break-up… it was just… he knew right now wasn’t the most appropriate time to bring that up, because maybe they’d been some pause for her… maybe there /should’ve/ been some for him too. Opening his eyes back up to see her breathing quickly beneath him… it was definitely one of his favorite looks from her; not one he wanted to see her take out on the red carpet, but one that urged him to keep going in before her words ran through… his thrusts now getting harder and deeper and if he’d been back in that bed he’d grown up in, surely his efforts would’ve caused a few of his ‘signed’ hockey gloves to fall off the shelf from above and land on top of them.. and he knew it was impossible, but he didn’t want to stop. He wanted to keep going…. Keep feeling this good forever. Only just as that thought had settled in… he felt that pull… his stomach twisting downwards as he reached that point of no return. He wasn’t even in Dallas and yet that’s what he saw… stars… as her own name slipped out of his mouth in half syllables and he felt himself empty out inside her. His breaths coming quick as he struggled to keep himself from collapsing down on top of her— and saying something he really shouldn’t be admitting to in a moment like this. Not when he was sure she’d cast it off as some kind of heat of the moment thing anyway. Instead he let his hand slip back up to the side of her face, where his eyes studied… her own, her lips, her… before leaning back down and kissing her again. Softer this time… the energy inside him on some sort of mini-vacation for the time being. Shifting back outside of her… once the energy had returned, Sidney knew he probably should’ve made an attempt to wash up, but all he wanted to do was lie next to her… kiss her… and make up for the last year and a half… “can I bring you back to New York with me?”

Alex The harder and deeper his thrusts got the more difficult it became to keep her moans to a volume that was quiet enough not to be heard by the sleeping baby upstairs. She watched him somewhat unable to believe that it was Sidney on top of her and this wasn't just some stranger she was having to envision his face onto. Not that she'd ever done that more than the one time. One hand stayed gripped tightly to his hip while the other went up and touched his chest and his face. Her thumb ran across his bottom lip just as he gave her that look she knew so well and with it she allowed herself to become just as close. She felt the warmth inside her and her name, that was enough to send her over the edge a second time. Her second orgasm was always more intense and this was no exception, holding her breath as her mouth fell open, her head back, and she bit down desperately on her bottom lip to keep the scream to nothing more than an exhale of breath. He left her panting once again, her legs trembling underneath him. She knew she couldn't get up for a while even if she wanted to, there's no way they would work but it was a good thing she had no intention on going anywhere and seeing he didn't either caused her to smile. It all turned soft again, the looks, the kisses, and the touching. She laid there running her fingertips up and down his arm, kissing him between moments of getting lost in his eyes. She thought it too, so many times, she was so madly in love with this man, always had been, probably always would be... but now wasn't the time to voice that as much as she may have wanted to. "I wish," she gave him a look that told him she regretted the no more than anything. "Tomorrow is the first day of pre-season, I have practice." She leaned up and kissed him again. "But I want to see you again soon." Of course they'd reconnect during his busiest time and right as hers was starting to pick back up. It reminded her of why they ever said goodbye in the first place and her heart felt like it sunk into her stomach. Her cheeks heated up as she fought back tears, swallowing a growing lump in her throat. This was all it was going to be, wasn't it? Until maybe the next time it would happen all over again but the in between... it just wouldn't be there, would it? She turned away from him and quickly brushed away a tear hoping desperately that he wouldn't notice. She didn't want to be that cliche emotional girl to cry after sex, she barely ever cried as it was so any tears meant there had to be a lot going on inside of her.

Sidney He felt a little stupid now that he’d let her reply sink in. “No, of course…” he offered up a smile, well at least half of one before her lips found his own and he kissed her back. What he’d done tonight; the insanity of it, he knew he couldn’t keep doing and yet, when she’d said she wanted to see him again soon… he wanted to do it again… tomorrow. He’d never really been a fan of flying, but it was part of the job so he’d grown accustom it it. Just, it would’ve been nicer to skip the whole thing and just have her there in New York, but that would’ve meant something else and he wasn’t sure if she wanted that right now. It was just— soon, maybe that had been her just being polite. Letting him down easy that she was glad for whatever this was, but longterm…, that just wasn’t in their cards anymore. She had a baby now… and Sid, knew that Charlie was always going to come first. Not that he’d have it any other way…, but still that meant Alex wasn’t just thinking about them, but where Charlie was going to fit into that picture too. Outside of the few times they’d joked about it, the topic of ‘children’ had never really been breached between them.., so this.. this was something new. And something that Sid didn’t have an answer for. Caught up in his own thoughts he hadn’t even noticed the shift in mood (at least outside of his own) until he felt her twist and turn her head away from him…. was she crying? With his hand sweeping against her cheek, Sid applied just enough pressure to twist her head back around to face his own, his thumb brushing any hot water away that had started to fall… He wasn’t exactly sure what had done it. He’d felt his stomach dip when she’d said soon; where in his mind all she’d really said was, no point making plans when we’re not even sure what we’re doing anymore. But, what had caused this reaction from her? Time? Or maybe just the fact that he’d shown up tonight and they’d once again found themselves with no clothes on just like last time? And look how good that had turned out. He wasn’t sure. All he knew was whatever it was… he wanted her to feel better, “hey… it’s okay…” he brought his lips to hers. Quick and soft… “you’re okay…” at least that’s what he was hoping. He wasn’t and the last thing he wanted was that for her too. If she wanted him to go he would— if this was too much for her right now and she wanted him to leave… he’d go. “Do you want me to leave?” That’s what it was right? He’d just shown up and expected everything to just go ahead and be like it used to be… before Lyon… and it wasn’t. Not anymore. He'd got ahead of himself... again.

Alex Of course he would be sweet about her tears, he always knew how to be soft and tender in moments she needed it most but that didn't stop her from feeling completely pathetic for letting the few tears fall. She wanted to grab on to him, say no until her breath ran out, and beg him to never leave again but she kept herself composed and took a deep breath before answering. "No -- no, I'm sorry. I guess I just never expected this and it's all just ... a lot." The striker lifted herself and sat up after finally feeling like her legs could move again. Her hand fell to the back of her neck as she sat forward, trying to collect herself and her thoughts not wanting to say or do the wrong thing to give him the wrong impression and send him running. "I--" just as she started to speak again she heard the baby monitor go off, Charlie starting to cry. "Shit." Alex shook her head, giving him an apologetic look. "Sid, I'm sorry.. I have to go check on her." Worst possible timing, kid. She just sighs and quickly slips back into her lounge pants and t-shirt running up the stairs to tend to her daughter. She completely forgot the monitor was still on and even though she was whispering, he could still hear everything she was saying as she talked to Charlie in her soft, soothing mom voice that turned into more of a baby voice when she picked up a toy and made it dance in front of her face, trying to get her to laugh instead of cry. She picked her up and brought her over to the changing table where she quickly and expertly changed the infant's diaper, something she didn't think she'd ever be able to master but had finally gotten it down to a perfect science after one too many incidents. It was hard doing it all on her own but luckily she always had her sisters, family, or fellow mom teammates around if she needed help with anything. She didn't ever want to admit to needing the help but there were probably a dozen times by now she had to push her pride aside and call them up for assistance. Charlie was a relatively a chill and easy going baby but of course there were still those moments Alex might've thought she couldn't do it and was failing miserably at being a mother even if everyone always told her otherwise. Once the baby was satisfied with her fresh diaper and pacifier back in her mouth Alex took a sigh of relief and cradled her daughter in her arms, bouncing and swaying her back and forth hoping she would be quick to fall back asleep. She felt terrible for leaving Sidney right in the middle of such a serious conversation like that.

Sidney A lot. He could feel his mouth go dry. This wasn’t good. He watched next as she manoeuvred her body away from his own. With her legs now swung over the couch it was easy to see what she was trying to do. She was trying not to look at him. This was it right? This was the prelude to that conversation that somehow weaved its way into his dreams. Things would start off good— really good and then, this. She’d start with something like, ‘this was nice…’ and then would come the but, ‘it probably shouldn’t happen again.’ Something inside Sid’s chest tightened, as he sat up behind her and waited…. Only just as she’d started to say something— most likely something that involved him putting his clothes back on and leaving, Charlie’s cries broke free and put her to a stop. He nodded… ‘cause he understood, watching as she pulled on a few of the clothes he’d just taken off her and hurrying off to go and calm down her baby. Hands finding his lap, Sid did his best to stay where she left him, but something cracked through the monitor that had been left abandoned in front of him and curiosity got the better of him, so he leaned forward and picked it up. It was the first time he’d heard Alex with Charlie… first time he’d heard Alex with any kind of baby really…, sure they’d seen Geno’s baby when he’d been born, but even back then neither of them had been too involved. This was new. He listened as she quietly tried to calm Charlie down, before giving up and playing some sort of game with her… at least that’s what he assumed she was doing when her voice shifted upwards… She was a good mom. That was the first thought that entered his mind. The second was he hoped she knew that. The third…, he didn’t think it was possible love Alex anymore than he already did, but turns out… he could. ‘Cause there was more to Alex now than just Alex his kind-of-girlfriend. There was Alex the mom and she was something pretty amazing too. Moving to put the monitor back down, Sid rose up to his feet, before leaning back down and pulling on the boxers and white t-shirt he’d had on from earlier… he just had to see. Walking up the stairs leading up to the upper portion of the house, Sid wondered if this was a bad idea… that maybe, Alex didn’t want him intruding on her and her daughter and their little moment right now. He’d even almost considered walking back downstairs, but the floorboard beneath his feet had creaked and he knew she’d heard him… Bringing his hand up to the door he slowly tapped, pushing it forward as he ducked his head inside… “is it okay… if…” he could see Alex now.. swaying slowly back and forth with a little baby in her arms…, she seemed so small, so tiny and even though Sid, had never really felt comfortable holding them… there was something inside of him that would’ve maybe said ‘sure’ if Alex had asked him to. “She’s so tiny.” She wasn’t a new baby, but she still looked small to Sid, when he crept over and stood in front of her and Alex.

Alex Alex breathed in deeply, almost forgetting to exhale when she heard the footsteps in the hall. She knew he would meet her eventually but she hadn't mentally prepared herself at all for this moment yet. It dawned on her that this was the first time Charlie could be meeting her father, the first time Sid would be meeting his daughter.. /their daughter./ And whatever 'a lot' was before this moment didn't seem to come anywhere close. Nothing could be more than this moment right here. She swallowed and nodded her head forcing a little smile when he asked if it was okay he come in. Charlie wasn't asleep but definitely close and she knew Sidney wouldn't get the full experience of her yet but this little moment would still always be cherished regardless. It felt cruel and unfair of her to let him meet Charlie without him knowing there was a possibility she could be his but it was too late now, he was walking in and commenting on how small she was which Alex guessed was true but considering how much she had already grown since being that tiny little baby she brought home from the hospital it felt weird to agree because from her point of view it felt like she was growing so much and getting so big already. A real personality starting to form and certain features becoming more prominent, features she swore she could see so much of Sid in and it gave her hope, so much hope, but what if it was all just wishful thinking? One of Alex's hands found Sidney's back, pulling him in closer so they could both stand there overlooking the baby. She watched as he reached up to support the half of her body that Alex had pulled her hand away from to touch Sid and she smiled. She'd gotten more than used to the whole one handed holding in all different kinds of positions by now but still, it was sweet the way he was so quick to want to support her. The brunette couldn't be any more thankful for the dark room lit up nothing but just a small night light plugged in at the corner of the room. He didn't have to see the set of tears that was welling up in her eyes yet again. God, she couldn't remember the last time she felt so emotional. Alex almost offered to let him hold Charlie but the way her eyes were closing the soccer player knew her daughter was drifting back to sleep and she didn't want to jerk her around too much waking her up all over again. They had plenty of time for that to come, at least she hoped which made her realize they had yet to finish their conversation. Taking her hand back from Sidney's back she once again held her daughter with both arms, bringing her back over to her crib, laying her down as gently as possible. When she was out of her arms and getting herself comfortable without another peep Alex breathed a sigh of relief knowing it was safe to sneak back out of the room. She took Sidney's hand and lead him out, closing the door until it was left just slightly ajar. She never fully closed it in case the monitor stopped working or something. "I promise next time when she's awake you can hold her." She reassured him, giving his hand a squeeze, not wanting to let go. "Do you want to go back downstairs or do you think we can finish that conversation in my room?"

Sidney Whatever sense of surety he might’ve still had about tonight being more than what it was for them a year and half ago evaporated the moment he stuck his head inside Charlie’s nursery and watched her and Alex become one body. It was just— it was hard to watch them and not think that maybe there wasn’t any room left for him anymore. Of course, that was all before she’d called him over, invited him in and not just to stand next to her, but to join her… holding Charlie… together. Something twisted inside his chest, something he wasn’t even sure existed till right now, so putting a name to it was proving to be rather difficult, but whatever it was it felt kind of big. He was distracted, still caught up in all of it, when he felt her shift and move away… nodding his head when he finally let her words reach him… “I’ll hold you to that. She’s… she’s amazing, Alex…” Which made sense, since kids usually took after their parents... parents something stale grew in the back of his mouth realising that there still existed some other guy… some other part of this duet… that he’d have to get used to. What was he doing? Getting ahead of himself that’s what. He still wasn’t even sure Alex wanted him in her life again… and here he was already debating how he was going to handle knowing that somewhere down the line, Charlie’s father might make a reappearance. What if Alex was still in love with him? What if… his head hurt. It was running a mile a minute and what he needed to do was stop— realise that Alex had just invited him into her bedroom to talk and maybe that was a good thing, right? You didn’t invite people into your bedroom just to tell them to leave, right? He swallowed, “no.. yeah, that sounds good…” squeezing her hand back before shifting his fingers through her own. It was hard to let go tonight. Though by the time she pulled him into the room across from Charlie’s it seemed silly that he’d done that. Letting go, he stood in front of her, looking at her, her room, and then maybe a small glance over at her bed, before finally settling back down on her face… did she want them talk here? Or… “hey… come sit here…” it wasn’t his room, but Alex still looked pretty emotional and the last thing he wanted was her just standing there, trying to get out whatever she’d tried to get out before and not feeling like she could. Her bed felt nice and one he wouldn’t mind crawling in and sleeping next to her if she’d let him, but right now he knew he had to get his mind back on the present… “so,… just before…” he had to at least try and convince her to keep him around a little while longer, right? “I know neither of us was expecting that tonight, but was it so bad? It didn’t feel bad to me. I missed you, Alex. And I know it’s been a long time…, that things have changed, but I want to make this work. If you want to…" it was the most he'd said all night and still, he hadn't stopped... "we don't have to jump straight in... like we did tonight... we can go slow.. whatever you want." Just don't go.... is what he would've said if his hand hadn't already reached over, taking hers up and telling her... without actually telling her... that he wanted to stay.

Alex Alex couldn't believe all she was hearing. She'd sat on the edge of the bed next to Sidney, her legs crossed, body angled towards his and she listened, wondering if those were the words actually coming out of his mouth or if they were what her brain was choosing to hear because it's so badly everything she's ever wanted. Since the day she left, all she wanted was for him to come back and say those exact words, 'I want to make this work..' A part of her always thought that even after saying goodbye he'd try to show up, chase her and tell her he couldn't let go but when he didn't all she could do was beat herself up over it because why would she possibly let herself hope? How could he possibly have known to come after her when she so adamantly told him there was no way to make it work? But she always hoped he'd protest, insist they could find a way, but maybe they weren't ready then. Maybe they could be now. God she hoped that now they could be but if she'd learned anything it was that hope was dangerous when it came to them. "Sid..." she looked down at their hands and rubbed the back of his with her thumb watching for a second, realizing how right this always felt. How every time he was touching her she was home. And now here he was practically asking to come home which made all kinds of emotions stir up inside her once again. She knew she wasn't crazy for leaving that light on... in case one day he ended up back on the doorstep. Everyone told her he wouldn't, he was gone, it was time to turn it off, lock the door and move on but she never did. Every night, that stupid metaphorical porch light on. Now it finally didn't feel so stupid anymore. She didn't know what to say, all words eluding her in that moment so she opted for her free hand finding the back of his neck, pulling him into a soft and sweet kiss. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear you say that," she whispered pressing her forehead back against his. "You can always come home to me." She pulled him into another kiss, this time one more passionate but still nothing that could be misconstrued as hungry, just happy. So incredibly relieved and happy. "I want you to stay." She pulled back just enough so their eyes could meet, "stay with me? ... stay with us?"

Sidney He must’ve taken in a breath somewhere at the start of her response and forgotten to release it somewhere in the middle, because by the time she was finished, the breath he was eventually forced to let out— came out three times as loud as it usually would’ve. Not that he cared. The only thing Sid cared about right now was the fact that Alex, was going to give him ago with her— her and Charlie, and what else really mattered? “Yeah?” He felt his face shift, as his mouth twisted upwards, “your really want me to?” He wasn’t really asking her to repeat herself. He’d heard her and if there was one thing he knew about Alex, she never said anything she didn’t mean. Which, in the end, made it easy for him to lean forward and recapture their lips back together. There had been a few kisses tonight; unsure, hungry, and now… relief. Like, he could kiss her.. and just focus on kissing her…, a weird thought for sure… but when you’d spent the last few years wondering if every time you kissed it would be the last, you tended to lose focus on what really mattered. After pulling back, Sid remained close… his hand against her cheek, his knee touching her own, “let’s get some sleep…” it seemed insane to think that they were about to share a be together again… what had it been? Five years… he stood up, pulling the quilt down and folding it over twice once he had. Yes, nothing had changed there… He looked up his eyes catching her own, where he held them… if he’d been younger and more likely to be swayed that what was happening right now was all just a dream, he might’ve tried to pinch himself. Instead, he slipped wordlessly into the bed and waited for Alex to join him, sliding over and taking her up in between his arms once he had, “night—“ he said it, but a part of him knew that neither one of them was ready to sleep just yet and that tonight would be filled with hours and hours of quiet chatter… as they both did their best to catch up with each other’s lives… Did he mind? No… not in the slightest.

#( Alex & Sid: 002. )

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