#alfred call the guy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

little-pondhead · 6 months

Text

Classic "promised-at-birth-to-the-Ghost-King" story, except the contract never states how, exactly, the King is to use the offered soul. Usually, one would be offered as a bride or sacrifice. But with Pariah Dark sealed away, his retainers got a little lazy in the last few millennia. They just made some generic contracts and practically handed them out like candy.

When Danny took over as king via conquest, that included all the weird and messed up soul contracts the previous retainers had signed. And since ghost magic was a thing and seemed to have it out for Danny personally, many of these contracts updated their terms and conditions as soon as that crown hit Danny's head, reflecting the new King's subconscious desires and personality.

This caused many issues with those still around to profit from these contracts. Some people lost their power, some gained more, and some were unbound and kicked to the curb. A few special people found themselves dropping dead after their less-than-ethical abilities disappeared.

Danny was unaware of the chaos he had unintentionally caused for quite a while. It was only brought to his attention when a letter arrived on his desk one day with a copy of someone's valid contract enclosed. The new changes have been highlighted, and a separate note is attached.

It seems that in exchange for blessings of near-immortality for her infant son, a mother had offered Pariah Dark both their souls in order to ensure her child's survival during harsh times. (The souls were to be collected upon death and were to be used as soldiers in the King's Army.) The mother's soul had returned to the Keep decades ago and was recently assigned to tend to the gardens, while her son seemed to have grown into a fine gentleman and was still alive. He used his mother's gifts to serve his country and loved ones well, it seemed.

At first, Danny didn't see what any of this had to do with him. If the mother was already a part of his kingdom, and the son would be eventually, why was a letter about the whole thing showing up before him?

Then he read the revised contract, which bore his magical signature. A signature that overruled the power of Pariah and binding it to him.

'...and as such, in return for the abilities stated above, [Mary Pennyworth] and [Alfred Pennyworth] will fulfill the conditions detailed below, upon pain of Ending.

[Mary Pennyworth], when returned to the Kingdom of Dark Kingdom of Stars, will work as a lieutenant in the Skeleton Army caretaker in the Gardens of Pluto.

STATUS: COMPLETED

[Alfred Pennyworth], when returned to the Kingdom of Dark Kingdom of Stars, will work as a general in the Skeleton Army caretaker of the King and his Court.

STATUS: PENDING'

Danny had to re-read the contract several times to understand what it was saying. He now had a caretaker? What did a caretaker do? Was it like a ghost parent? Could this guy ghost-ground him??

He sighed and pressed the speed dial on his phone for Tucker. Time to find out who the hell this Alfred Pennyworth guy was, and how to break a magic contract when it wasn't even fulfilled yet.

Meanwhile, Alfred had just found the original copy of the contract amongst his mother's belongings after it glowed and drew him in. The paperwork cleared up a lot of mysteries he'd always wondered about himself, even if he disapproved of his mother's methods. Nonetheless, he smoothed out the aged paper with dark green ink, noted the fresh (sloppy, a teenager?) signature, and began preparing to meet this supposed new King and his Court.

It wouldn't hurt to make introductions before he died, after all.

#pondhead blurbs #dpxdc #alfred is now their grandpa #i just want alfred to meet danny and his group of friends and unironically call him 'your majesty' and danny HATES it #like this is the guy who's gonna be my butler/caretaker after he dies? please man just say my name #it's not a cursed name i swear #no one else knows how to feel #cause like #if the contract wasn't in place everyone was sure Alfred would haunt the manor even after death due to his devotion to the wayne family #but now he's already got a job in the afterlife #so how will the bats see their father/grandfather figure now?#Bruce: the obvious solution is to adopt these random kids who still have families so alfred never has to leave :)#alfred isn't even dead yet but the bats are speedrunning their grief in like a week

1K notes · View notes

batbabydamian · 6 months

Text

Met Joshua Williamson at NYCC during one of his signings! He said of all the characters he wants to protect the most at DC, it would be Damian because that’s his “baby boy” 🥺 Said he’s tired of people hurting Damian since he’s already gone through so much his whole life.

Asked him 2 questions!

What accent does Damian have?

Others have asked him but he doesn’t want to say, because he wants people to talk about it! He mentioned Damian has only lived in America for 4 years, and would naturally have an accent.

Who decided on Damian’s new hair?

Simone - Joshua said he didn’t notice it at first and then he was like “UMMM IT KINDA LOOKS LIKE TIM…”

He let it go because he thought about how Tim has had different hairstyles, and Damian is young and still growing.

#damian wayne #the baby boy bit was like a short version of that one interview he had but i was just happy to hear him say it in person LOL 😭#he even did a cradling motion when he called Damian a baby a second time 😭#im so happy whenever ppl call Damian their baby HE JUST IS HUH 😭#he asked what accent i think Damian would have and when i replied Arabic he emphasized creating discussion on the topic #‘Damian isn’t from America remember he’s only lived there for 4 years’#there’s a tangent after this that im still trying to make sense of or recall correctly but it was about the ppl Damian was surrounded by #when he stayed in Gotham and besides Bruce one of them was Alfred who ALSO has an accent #anyway friendly guy! he had a line going but he made time to really chat especially if you have questions!#rambling

209 notes · View notes

mortiferumsomnum · 2 years

Text

Danny Meets The Batfam

A continuation of this post where Clockwork is in love with Alfred <3

Edit: MASTERLIST

*******

Danny is 15 years old. He’s half-human, half-ghost, going through human puberty and ghost infantry at the same time. He’s also Clockwork’s emotionally adopted son, and the Ghost Zone’s beloved Ghost King.

But, with Clockwork flirting with Alfred, and Clockwork’s first meeting with the Wayne family being successful, it’s becoming very possible that he’s going to become the uncle of the famed Batkids and the stepbrother of THE Bruce Wayne AKA BATMAN HIMSELF. Clockwork DID make that suggestion out loud in retribution to his invisible moral support.

Motherfucker. Or, like, Butlerfucker.

But, you know: Experience, Adapt, and Repress the fuck out of it!

EAR for short.

Clockwork would disagree.

But fuck Clockwork. He disagrees with everything Danny does that might make everyone live in the wrong timeline.

Is it Danny’s fault that nature nurtures man? No. No, it isn’t!

Where was Danny going with this again?

Ah, right. Danny’s going to be an uncle now. And Bruce Wayne’s step brother. Well, emotional uncle and stepbrother.

No pressure....

Except, yeS PRESSURE.

His only experience in being a responsible figure is Dani, but Dani is so low maintenance, he doesn’t need to help her much except be her support. He’s not taking on responsibilities as Ghost King yet either because Clockwork managed to put together a council that would overlook the Ghost Zone while waiting for Danny to come of age.

Danny’s... he’s always been the baby, honestly. He’s been the baby brother. He’s been the baby in his group of friends (people would disagree, but this is what Danny feels. Sam and Tucker would have a friendship-divorce if he weren’t there. And who will Danny end up with if they have a friendship divorce?)

So, Danny goes to the number one person he knows would help him in being a responsible figure in his life: his sister, Jazz.

“Danny, you’re a kid. A 15 years old kid that’s living a normal life, at least from what they know,” she said, soothingly. They were both in her room, with Jazz painting his nails a pretty dark blue color, which would later be decorated with some really cool stars polish that Jazz found in the cosmetics store. “No one is going to expect you to be a responsible adult while you’re there to meet them.”

“I don’t think Clockwork told them my age,” he said. “And, even if Alfred met me, I bet he’s too in love to even think of telling them about me! I gotta prepare Jazz!”

Jazz moved on to the next hand. “Trust me, Danny,” she said, “if they’re the cool heroes they are, it really won’t matter if you can’t give them anything, or even have anything to impress them with. They’d just want you to be a kid. One they assume is living a normal life. Clockwork and Alfred are keeping quiet about the ghost thing, remember? So, they won’t even have the drama that comes with ghosts.”

Jazz was right.

And Danny sighs. “You’re right,” he said. “Maybe I’m just overthinking this.”

Jazz smiles. “It’s okay to think about this,” she said. “Clockwork has been very involved with your life, that you’re also becoming involved with his. He’s been the caring dad you’ve never had. Wanting to have a good impression on the family he’ll be committed to is normal.”

Once Jazz was finished with all his fingers, she went to shake the stars polish and open it.

Then, she went back to painting his nails.

“But if you really want to be on their good side, just be yourself, Danny,” she said. “Your naughty, space-loving self. Before you know it, you’ll all be getting along and dissing Clockwork like a good family together.”

Danny smiled. “Thanks Jazz,” he said.

Jazz kissed his cheek and hugged his head close to her chest. “No problem, Danny.”

The rest of the afternoon was spent with Danny painting Jazz’s nails in return.

*****

Currently, Danny was at Clockwork’s side, who was in his Horatio Clockwork form. He was holding a box of cake that he and Jazz picked together from the bakery - rectangular with a decoration of a clock with Alfred’s mustache in the middle.

He was nervous. But he was also excited. Jazz told him to be himself. So, himself he will be!

And so, they ring the doorbell at the gate.

There was a small beep after they rang. Then, some grunts and shouts were heard from the other side of the line.

“--Eat shit, Replacement---”

“--You imbeciles! Get off---”

“--Guys! Stop-- Oh, shit! Damian, NO!--”

“--Ugh! My inexistent spleen!--”

“--Hello, Bruce Wayne Speaking.”

Danny was smiling in amusement. He looked up to Clockwork, who also had an amused smile.

“Hello, Bruce,” greeted Clockwork.

“Hello, Cockwork,” Bruce said, with the most contemptuous tone Danny’s ever heard.

And... did he just call Clockwork ‘cockwork’?! HOLY SHIT. He loves his future emotional stepbrother already!

“Move aside, old man!” a voice that sounds like Jason said. “Hey, Horace! Lemme open the gate for you to get in!”

“Just don’t walk on the grass!” Tim’s voice said. “Alfred just watered them, and he’ll get pissed if someone walks on it!!”

That’s what they said, thought Danny. But both Danny and Clockwork knew the truth, there’s some serious security system at work targeted on the grass, and Bruce most likely doesn’t want to turn them off.

“We’ll keep that in mind,” said Clockwork, amusedly.

“We?” Dick’s voice asked.

But both knew that there are security cameras that the whole family could look from.

“Yes, ‘we’,” said Clockwork. “I brought Danny with me, today.”

By then, the gate opened... slowly... very slowly...

“GODDAMMIT, B! JUST OPEN THE FUCKING GATE!!” Jason screamed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Bruce, coolly. “We’ve been having some problems with it these past few days. The technician we called has also been very busy. We didn’t want to make ourselves a priority when other people needs their services more.”

“Understandable,” said Clockwork, just as cool. “Alfred did say that his son had a big heart, which shows very much.”

Danny made a quiet snort.

“Danny and I have no problem waiting out here. Luckily, I advised Danny to bring an umbrella and to wear an extra jacket in case the famous Gotham weather decides to pour on us. Danny gets cold very easily, you see.”

The gate opened faster.

Danny gave Clockwork the stink-eye.

“FUCKING FINALLY!” Jason said. “Come on inside, Horace! Danny! Al’s just getting ready!!”

Without another word, both Clockwork and Danny entered the Wayne estate.

*****

The beauty of Wayne manor feels different when you’re walking on two feet and not flying in the air. It felt more haunting when you’re not the ghost haunting it.

Once Clockwork and he finished climbing the steps, the door opened, revealing the youngest of the Wayne brothers: Damian Wayne.

He scanned Clockwork up and down, before giving a nod towards Danny. “Good day,” he said, straightening his posture and folding his hands behind his back, like what Alfred would do, amusingly. “I am Damian Wayne. Welcome to the Wayne Manor, Daniel Fenton.”

He’s... he’s so cute trying to be all formal and polite like that. Danny wanted to hug this kid and show him all the goodness in the world. Maybe even let him meet Cujo.

For now, Danny needs to start light. So, he raises the cake box. “I brought cake,” he said. “My sister and I bought it. It’s vegetarian AND it’s strawberry flavored.”

The young Damian nodded his head again, as if in approval. “Thank you, Daniel,” he said, reaching out to take the box. “I’ll have Timothy bring this to the kitchen so it may be kept in the fridge.”

“Don’t decide things for me, brat!” someone, Tim, shouted from the back.

Danny smiled at Damian. “Thanks,” he said. “And call me Danny. Daniel is what rich, old people who wants to marry my mom call me.”

Damian raised a brow.

“Well, since I do not want to marry your mother, I suppose I shall call you Danny.”

“Oh my god, is THAT what it takes to have the Demon Brat to call you so casually?”

“Awwww, are you jealous, Tim-o-thy???”

“One day, Damian will be calling me Dick, and I will be the happiest man alive.”

“Tt,” snapped Damian, who was glaring behind him. “Imbeciles, the lot of them.”

Then, he turned back to them. “Well then, Danny,” and a glare to the person beside him, “Clockwork. Do come inside.”

The doors opened wider, and Danny had gotten a human-eyed view of the Wayne Entryway. Marbled floor waxed and polished beautifully, a staircase that leads to the upper floors of the manor, a bunch of unsuspecting chandeliers just waiting to be swung on... And then, there’s the family. Five brothers, a sister and a father scanning Clockwork up and down. The tallest of the brothers, Jason, had a genuinely wide grin, walking up to clockwork with open arms.

The rest of the brothers were weirded out by Jason’s behavior.

Danny knew it was because this is usually the eldest’s, Dick’s, behavior. But, he could see the sharp glint in the young man’s eyes. Although he seemed the most welcoming, he is also the most suspicious. Not only because of Clockworks’ “intentions” with their favorite butler, but because Jason could sense the Ectoplasm off of him.

He could most probably sense Danny as well.

Clockwork and Danny had talked about this once. It has something to do with the Lazarus Pits. But Clockwork cannot simply remove the Lazarus’ influence on the young man. Danny, however, had free reign. As long as Danny is not directly influenced by Clockwork in his choices, Danny could use his powers to remove the Pits’ influence little by little.

Danny snapped out of his thoughts the moment Jason hugged Clockwork, as if they were long time friends. His brothers were still weirded out behind him. Cassandra, the sister, looked like she wanted to roll her eyes.

“Alfie’s almost done getting ready,” said Jason, as he pulled away. “He’s just trying to pick which bowtie to wear.”

“I’m sure no matter which bowtie he chooses, he would still be the most beautiful,” said Clockwork, causing Danny to cringe. Because not only had he said something so corny, Clockwork’s face turned from smug to downright dopey and in love. It’s a weird look. Danny doesn’t want to see it again.

Jason, while Clockwork wasn’t looking, also grimaced. But when Clockwork put his attention back to him, his megawatt smile of innocence came back full force.

Danny saw that Bruce was going to say something, but then a cough was heard form the top of the stairs. There stood Alfred, all dolled up in a fine suit. The moment Alfred and Clockwork made eye-contact, both stared lovingly into each other’s eyes.

Perhaps, to these two old timers, time was moving slowly as Alfred descended upon the stairs. To Danny, he just saw two cute, old dudes about to hug. But instead of hugging, they decided to have a chaste little kiss on the lips, Clockwork adding another one on Alfred’s cheek, as they held hands and giggled like the lovebirds they are.

It’s super cute.

It’s also super gross.

No one wants to see their parental figures being all lovey-dovey.

Danny took a look at Bruce. He had his arms crossed and brows furrowed as he tried to glare Clockwork to death. Of course, that was impossible. And even if it were, Clockwork is already in the immortal afterlife.

Clockwork held an arm out. “Shall we?”

Alfred took his arm. “We shall.”

Danny furrowed his brows. “Wait, are you guys going on a date??” he asked. Because he thought that he was going to be with Clockwork WHILE he tried bonding with his... future emotional step-brother, nephews, and niece. Not... Not abandoned and left to fend for himself!

“Why, yes, Danny,” said Clockwork, looking very amusedly at him. “I told you I had reservations today. You’re the one who said that you wanted to tag along.”

Danny crossed his arms, mimicking Bruce who hasn’t moved a single inch. “I will make sure that we throw tomatoes at your face during your wedding.”

“Now, we don’t know if there’s going to be a wedding,” said Bruce.

Danny raised a brow towards Bruce. “There’s going to be a wedding.” Because there were too many invitation cards already made on Clockwork’s table, all decorated by Danny himself. If these two don’t get married, he will make sure that Clockwork will get papercuts from all the cards Danny had made. He worked hard on those damn cards, he’s not going to let it go to waste!

“But no worries, dear future emotional step-brother,” said Danny, smiling towards Bruce, “while these old timers are away, we shall make a detailed plan on how we’re going to make this cockwork suffer at the hands of his children and grandchildren.”

Bruce hummed in thought. Then, after a few second, he dropped his arms and nodded towards Danny. “I shall get the meeting room prepared then.”

Danny smirked. “Perfect.”

Bruce then turned to Clockwork with a glare. “He needs to be back by 11 pm.”

Alfred rolled his eyes. “I’ll be fine, Master Bruce,” he said, stepping up to give Bruce a reassuring pat. And then a hug. “Do watch over the children while I’m gone.”

Bruce hugged Alfred back, and Danny swore he looked like he was going to cry. “Have fun Alfred,” he said, voice totally not wavering from how his chin was trembling. Danny took a peak at the other children, and they were all also in varying degrees of teary-eye. Wow. Clockwork is doomed if anything happens to Alfred. And Danny will be on the Batfamily’s side if that happens.

Sorry, Clockwork. But if it comes down to survival, siding with the Batfamily just seems like the obvious choice.

After Bruce, came the children. And after the children gave their warnings to Clockwork, and their farewells to Alfred, did Danny have all of their attention.

Danny smirked towards them. “So, where’s the meeting room?”

1K notes · View notes

dudethatsmyundeaduncle · 3 days

Text

Tim Drake's Mom is actually Lara Croft! AU

After getting pregnant Lara Croft disappears off the face of the earth, takes up a shell company in Gotham left to her by her father, and assumes the identity Janet Drake.

(DC made Timmy's parents archeologists! so Sis it was between Indiana Jones or the Tomb Raider and well here we are!)

___________________________________________________________

Lara Croft has a daring archeological adventure/world saving mission with a dashing man she only knows as N. Drake (if u know u know) and finds out she's pregnant weeks after.

Lara Croft did not expect to be Pregnant. Lara knows that she shouldn't have a baby. She knows this intellectually and emotionally, she doesn't have any family left and after nearly 10 years of traveling the globe and putting herself in life or death situations she knows her life can't accommodate children. Lara knows the responsible thing to do, she makes an appointment with NHS/MSI and focuses on her next project. (TW: Discussion of Abortion)

Lara never gets her appointment. She misses her abortion date in London when she gets caught up in another mad expedition that takes her half way across the world.

On this mission she nearly looses everything, her friends, her own life, what's left of her father's legacy, all for a semi cursed magical artifact that nearly blows up the South American Coast.

Lara's tired, scared, she's been running from Trinity (evil org) for nearly a decade now . She's 29, she's 5 months pregnant, and she's stuck floating on her back in the middle of the South Atlantic sea watching the sky burn.

Lara's rich she could always get the abortion, legally or otherwise, her father left her a billionaire and the souvenirs she'd collected from her travels do nothing but add to that wealth.

Trinity wants Lara Croft dead, they'll never stop chasing, and Lara just wants respite. She wants her quaint childhood in the English countryside with her father, she wants to curl up and sleep for a thousand years. She wants to be someone else, just for a moment.

Her heart beats wildly in her chest and she can almost feel another heart beating alongside it.

Lara Croft makes a decision. She sinks into the sea and doesn't come back up for air even when it burns.

On the shore a nameless woman washes up, water logged and looking for passage to America.

The Croft's have had shell companies for years, one can't be a billionaire these days without at least a few, Medi-industries is an unassuming medical supplier located in Gotham, New Jersey the crime capital of North America. It's the perfect place to disappear.

Janet Drake Lands in Gotham on a gloomy morning in March, she's got enough money to throw around that people forget to ask what family she's from, this is Gotham new money is nearly unheard of.

By mid April Janet has reestablished control of Medi-Industries, Now Drake Industries, and purchased an old English style mansion in Bristol, which the real-estate agent has assured her is a great neighborhood.

Timothy Jackson Drake is born July 19th at nearly 3 in the morning squalling high into the night like a banshee. He is perfectly healthy and perfectly safe in Janet's arms.

It is only in the safety of their home, in the house Janet picked, because it was high on a hill for tactical advantage and had bullet proof glass nestled between quaint wood paneled windows, It is only in the heart of Drake Manor that Lara dares to Whisper her son's name

"Timothy Jackson Croft"

-------------------------

AU ALSO INCLUDES!

Badass Lara Croft being the cool mom TM

A family portrait of the Drakes, Including Janet, baby Tim, and a mysterious Jack Drake (who was a very discreet and well paid member of Gotham's theatre society, and who was also more then happy to pose as a rich ladies dead husband for a day)

A Socttish Nanny/Housekeeper with a very keen eye and discreet mouth who will not tell a soul that she is fairly sure she's employed by Lord Richard Croft's, eccentric billionares, missing daughter.

precocious and slightly British accented baby Tim who gets to have his Mom with him for 10 whole years! before she inevitably runs back off to save the world

Tim being unaware of his mother's past life beyond her name until the age of 13 when he becomes Robin and is able to actually find out what his mom's been protecting him from his whole life.

I imagine in this AU that eventually Trinity finally catches wind of where Lara is hiding and she has a big confrontation with them in New Jersey. It's way too close to Gotham and Tim for her comfort, she knows this is the only chance she'll get to control the chaos.

So she packs Tim up to move him into the dorms at Gotham Academy and promises she'll write and be home for his birthday in the summer. After she's finished her "company" business first of course.

Tim's confused but he trusts his mom, he gets unsigned postcards from all over the world and pins them above his bed in the dorm and goes to sleep trying to guess what country she's in every night.

The move to the dorm is kind of cool to Tim as well because it means he can start his plan to follow Batman and Robin in the city! (in this AU there's no way Lara wouldn't have noticed him sneaking out at 9, but Gotham academy security? totally oblivious)

Tim celebrates his 10th birthday with his mom at home, he has so many freaking questions about where she was! and she tells him outlandish stories about daring fights and cursed artifacts that he rolls his eyes at but enjoys none the less.

it isn't till he's 15 that his Robin work and his mom's adventures cross paths.

After so many years of close calls, of hiding bruises from his mom with same concealer she uses to hide her own wounds, of wondering if it was selfish to wish his Mom cared a little bit less about the world and would stay with him for more then a few weeks at a time. Finally it all comes to a head in the worst way. Lara Croft's latest adventure puts her right in the middle of a Bat Level investigation. It has Tim near loosing his mind with worry hoping his mom is alive and Lara having the worst freakout/Blow up of her life realizing her son has been putting himself in Danger every night she thought he was safe.

The Drake/Crofts are messy! Bad at communicating! And unfortunately the exact same kind of reckless and self sacrificing!

Fun food for thought:

Lara canonically is a killer, if you've played any of the reboot Tomb Raider series she can be pretty gruesome and efficient! Very cool! Jason would stan! Tim is kind of appalled! Lara is glad Tim's never killed, that he's never had to.

Lara still dies in this AU but it's in a big Trinity X Obeah Man X Captain Boomerang Cluster fuck where Lara finishes off Trinity and Obeah Man for good but looses her own life in the process. Tim is devastated, he feels like they were just starting to really be 100% transparent with each other before her death. Que Tim's not good very bad year!

if you've made it this far in my rambles here's a treat! I actually wrote a lil fuckin blurb for this!

preface: This the first time Robin and Lara Croft have ever met/are on the same mission.

___________

" mom!" Tim shouts, running before Bruce can even properly land the BatJet.

The old temple is ablaze, the ancient structure already half crumbled in on itself with what's left of it is spewing out clouds of jet black smoke.

Tim's mother limps out what was once the front entrance clutching at her ribs.

She's filthy, covered in a thick layer of dirt and grime. but she's got on a triumphant smile like the cat who got the cream.

" Mom!" Tim yells again watching as she does a double take at his choice of moniker.

Her mouth twists in a grimace as she stumbles and Tim dives under her arm quickly moving to support her left side.

Lara Croft meets the white lenses of Red Robin's eyes in confusion

" What'd you call me?" She slurs trying to blink away the smoke inhalation that makes it hard to focus and leaves her lightheaded.

Lara's right ankle which took the brunt of a very nasty dive from a very high perch, not 20 minutes earlier as she raced out of the Dead Kings Tomb, finally gives up the ghost and she pitches forward taking Red Robin with her.

He's young, she thinks, he's very young.

Before either of them can hit the ground Batman intercepts their fall hefting Lara into a secure hold.

Red Robin catches himself and latches onto Lara's hand.

He yanks off one of his gloves and tries to wipe some of the grime out of her eyes.

" Mum" he croaks this time, voice breaking nearly in half on the last syllable.

Lara furrows her brow, the cowl covers so much of this young man's face, from his nose too his brow bone, but his chin is startlingly familiar as is his absolutely atrocious British accent.

He reminds her terribly of Timothy.

" Tim" she says deliriously, Lara tries to smile but her eyes start to droop and her head lolls slack against Bruce's arm. She's clean out.

Tim makes an odd lunge and jerk movement pressing his fingers into her carotid artery to feel her pulse.

He's shaking, more wrong footed and anxious then Bruce has ever seen him.

Batman is extremely grateful when Nightwing comes up behind him and gently pulls his younger brother's hands away from his mother's comatose body.

" She's fine Red. We need to get her on board so we can get her some oxygen though, the smoke inhalation is getting to her. "

" Right" Tim says, still frozen in place. He shakes it off quickly " Right." he repeats pivoting in place and leading their small party through the remains of the ruins and back to the jet.

" I'll prep the med bay."

--------

pics or it didn't happen! (ps, if u wanna write, draw, or HC anything for this AU feel free my lads)

20 notes · View notes

devilfic · 1 year

Text

I feel like a lot of people confuse battinson!bruce’s social awkwardness with being shy

sometimes I see people describe bruce as being this shy, nervous, shaking chihuahua of a man who will curl up into a fetal position if a social situation stresses him out and as funny as that is to imagine… I think a lot of people are forgetting that bruce could NOT care less

like. bruce isn’t scared of the public eye. he doesn’t like it. he’s not shy, he’s awkward. I’d argue the only times he’s truly close to being shy (and I’d argue even further that he’s just. disarmed) is when he’s around selina

when bruce is uncomfortable in the public eye like at don mitchell’s funeral, it’s not because he’s scared of what people will think of him. if bruce cared what people thought of him, he’d have started playing a more active role as CEO years ago. that’s not what’s happening

he’s uncomfortable because he’s there to get a lead on the riddler case (the only thing he cares about) and he’s inconvenienced by being noticed. he’s not nervous. he’s annoyed!!

#this is also why he just. leaves conversations once he’s done talking to someone as batman #and everyone is like oh that batman. leaving in the middle of conversation like that. what a strange guy #bruce as bruce is just upset because he can’t do that without it inconveniencing him #because of bruce wayne was ‘rude’ then he’d have to deal with tabloids and press and alfred and bruce just wants to get back to sleuthin’#*if #trust if he could just walk away from social interactions without it damaging his reputation in an inconvenient way then he would 100%#and lest we forget. comics bruce is a bit of a bitch andhdjsh #I like to read him as like a toddler itching to get out of their church clothes because it makes them feel itchy #he feels most comfortable as batman because he doesn’t have to worry about pretending to be nice and friendly. he’s there to do his job #I’d also like to add that he is also disarmed around children!!#I don’t think I’d call that shy either. he’s still just awkward and struggling to know what to say #but guess who he darts for the minute that car comes barreling into the church?#the batman #battinson #dc #mjspeaks

209 notes · View notes

the-crooked-library · 10 months

Text

me, scrolling tumblr: oh huh the new season of The Witcher is airing. wow Jaskier's hair looks bad. not sure if i care enough at this point - oh wait there's a call coming in. hello, thank you for calling the place i work, how may i help you? caller: hi my name is Gerald Pankratz, i need to update my - me, back on my bullshit: ksjdkjdsghksdgh they got married

#the witcher #geraskier #yes i know it's a normal name #but it's FUNNY bc the coincidence was just too well timed #geralt of rivia #jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #just to confirm #i work in a call centre and i have spoken with a guy named james bond #a lady named melanie king #and another lady named nazgul #so names can be funny

62 notes · View notes

im-totally-not-an-alien-2 · 1 year

Text

Danny thinks he's done a wonderful job all things considered. His city is safe, no one has died yet, no major injuries, Vlad had screwed off after Danny beat him within an inch of his afterlife (Danny learned that Vlad was a revenant abusing dirty ectoplasm for powers-not a halfa), ect.

Most of his rogues gallery also stopped bothering him once it became clear he was having trouble keeping his increased power in check and was trying hard not to hurt them. Unfortunately there was one who refused to leave him alone. A warrior princess was demanding his hand in marriage as she needed to be married by the summer solstice of next year or the throne would be passed down to her younger sister, who was already married.

It didn't matter how many times he said no, she kept coming back and challenging him for his hand. Each time she came back stronger and with new tactics and weapons to try. He was starting to fear she might actually win one day. That day might be sooner rather than later as her latest scheme was cutting it close.

Deciding that 1. Amity didn't need him anymore if he closed the portals 2. He was probably going to have to leave anyway if he loses and 3. He didn't have a future in this world as Fenton anymore he leads her on a wild goose chase back into the GZ and causes the portals to collapse in on themselves. The princess laughs, thinking he had given up. But no.

Danny put a curse on himself to turn him into a bat for the next year or so, a full month longer than the princess had left to find a spouse. She screams. Appearently she had a phobia of bats, who knew? Anyway he was left alone to fly through the Infinite Realms and find a new home.

He found a new world easily thanks to the natural portals of the IR and crossed though. Immediately being pelted on all sides by freezing cold rain was not what he expected but its what he got as he flew over a sign that proclaimed the city beneath him was called Gotham. The little glowing white bat flew through the night for hours before seeing a fruit bowl laying innocently on a kitchen counter through a window. Whats more it was in some giant manor so the occupants probably wouldn't mind if he ate an orange or two.

Right?

Needless to say a kid around the age of 11 or twelve walked in on him clutching an apple like his life depended on it while furiously munching. The kid looked...excited? He started going on about names and what he would need to care for him. Danny wasn't really listening, he didn't realize how hungry he had been until he started eating. He waited until the kid had looked away to turn himself and his apple invisible. This bothered the kid who looked suspicious but went to look for "the bat" anyway.

Later, while Danny was taking a shower in the kitchen sink to wash off the remains of his meal (I headcanon that Danny is a bit of a neat-freak) some other guy walked in holding an empty coffee mug and wearing eyebags that would put a raccoon to shame. They just stared at eachother for a solid few seconds before Danny started squeeking in rage and covering himself with the washcloth he was using to scrub himself clean. It looked like something out of a cartoon. Tim thought he was hallucinating but why would he hallucinate a glowing white bat with hearts all around it (that part isn't real) taking a shower in the kitchen sink. Was his subconscious trying to tell him something??

The next victim person to spot him was Duke who just stood in his doorway as this glowing white bat rolled an orange down the hallway. He decided this was a problem for the night crew and went to tell them.

Alfred saw a small shock of white fur and heard squeeking. His first thought was 'rat' and he didn't even hesitate. Danny dodged 3 bullets and got the hell out of the kitchen.

The batfam are debating on whether this was a shifter or an meta animal that was experimented on.

5K notes · View notes