#alice is the reason eri even gets sent to fuse in the first place. trying to protect her and separate her foster parents

[cherrysnax]

iont talk abt eris enough

#tbf I’m really bad at talking abt anyone #i mostly talk abt retro and no one on tumblr knows anything abt her but ppl in the server #oh fuck the server #but yeah I never talk abt eris #she’s. funny. and very tragic #and I can’t talk abt her without talking abt Alice.. those two r very important to me esp as a black system because god. ugh feelings hard #eris comes from such a complicated situation where she had all the resources to get the help she needed #(not ALL the resources but still) and yet never got it. her moms were good people but not the best parents #when they died she kinda repressed a lot of the stuff they did that hurt her. one of her moms was a pediatrician and the other a child #services worker.. they saw the signs they had to. But black ppl don’t like givin up on family #and they were busy. too busy saving other peoples kids to protect theirs and that’s not fair to them or to eris’ memory of them #but honestly she could not deal with the realization that her mothers weren’t perfect AND that they were dead #and that’s where Alice comes in and I think it’s so interesting that whilst eris grows up to be bitter and jaded it’s not her who completely #splits on the idea of her birth parents but Alice. but Alice protects Alice is a friend in her loneliest moments even if Alice was only a #little girl herself. and it’s so funny how similar Alice is to leo because I’m sure to eris even tho leo was just a scrawny runt too. leo #but that’s besides the point. idk abt other systems but we are so many people it gets confusing. but it’s just eri and Ali ik there #and I project abit. once the abuse stopped and her mothers put her in therapy eris did repress alice and all the things that happened to #idk make her words r hard right now. and there’s a resentment there but also a sadness that eris needs her again years into the future #alice is the reason eri even gets sent to fuse in the first place. trying to protect her and separate her foster parents #alice is a culmination of eris’ want to be protected and loved and safe and free to express herself. but alice is so different she presents #herself as eris’ older sister and it BURNS her to know that eris sometimes scapegoats her whenever she does something that has consequences #Alice is overprotective and anxious and grumpy but also fun loving and kind. she stands up for herself eris and others whenever she feels #like it unlike eris who has to calculate when and how she speaks. they both have aspects that the other envies and that the other hates #Alice does present herself to eris as a big scary monster sometimes but that’s mostly out of anger and eris isn’t really scared. more anoyed #eris’ plots don’t revolve around her did but when she does have the spotlight Alice will as well to her chagrin. eris is in a constant state #of denial at all times. it’s one of her biggest character flaws. she denies that Leo’s changed denies that Retro isn’t out to hurt her #denies that she can’t do anything abt her moms’ murders denies that everything is changing #denies that cops are a problem she denies Alice’s existence but to acknowledge Alice means she has to acknowledge all of the ugly parts of #her life. her accepting herself and Alice and the truth really pushes her to places she has hasn’t been since before her moms died before #her friend group broke up etc. but golly the journey is long. i rambled more abt Alice than eris lowkey but that’s fine they’re sisters