#alina tries to draw

[chai-penguin]

Happy Valentine’s Day!

#alina tries to draw #good omens #ineffable husbands #good omens fanart #go fanart #Crowley #go s2 spoilers

[mokadevs]

day 26: apocalypse

#arknights #talulina #talulah arknights #talulah #alina arknights #alina #apocalypse as in the start of something terrifying ^_^ #kiki draws #minifemslashfeb2024 #its gonna be a day or 2 of femslashmarch sorry. i tried but im weak LOL

[serdaig1e]

I drew Genya as a mermaid for Mermay!

#I tried drawing Alina first but it was Not Good #genya safin #grishaverse #shadow and bone #seige and storm #ruin and rising #tailors #corporalki #mermay

[chibipeachu]

Pretty Songbird || Aleksander M.

A/N: I watched snakes and songbirds and had this ideas stuck in my head ever since i saw it last week, idk if it's gonna be a series, if you have any ideas pls tell me!!

WC: 1311 Warning: Fem!Reader, the moon summoner trope, not proof read so i take credit for mispelling or mistakes..

Alina sighed as herself and Mal walked into a busy club to get away from their pursuers.

“It should be too crowded to notice us in this crowd, just keep the hood on.” Mal whispered to Alina as they moved closer to the stage where others stood, waiting for the performer. 

“Want something?” 

Alina turned and nodded as Mal gave a quick nod before walking to the bartender.

As alina went to stand near a corner of the crowded club she bumped into another young girl. “Aww, sorry..” “Ah, i’m sorry.”  They both apologized to one another.

“It’s alright, just a throbbing but it’ll go away with a drink.” The girl brushed it off and gave alina a smile. 

“You look familiar..” Alina felt her heart drop, as the expression the girl made was of realization. “You’re her aren’t you?” Alina tensed up and lifted her hand in case she need to summon to stop the girl from doing something.

“It’s alright, your safe here, i just recommend the further booth over there if you don’t want to draw attention..” Alina followed the girls direction and saw an empty booth and nodded at her. “Thank you..?” She waited for a name.

“Y/n, i’m a performer here tonight.” She smiled and pointed towards the stage were drunks and many excited people stood waiting.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

People whispered to one another as they noticed the brooding, darkling who was accompanied with other grisha, they all had looks of distaste on their faces as they scanned the club. 

Alesksander’s attention jumped as two women in front of him talked about the performer. 

“Is it true she can summon?” 

“Rumors say she can but was sick during her testing and got dismissed.” 

Before any of them could provide aleksander with information, a young woman, dressed in a loose blouse and what looked like the first army pants.

“Based on all the chatter I could hear from back there, I assume it’s about myself?” You grinned as you scanned the crowd.

A mixed of positive responses came from the busy club.

Aleksander noticed how each of his grisha searched the crowd.

“Aww stop it, i’m blushing!” You playfully waved to the crowd before turning to the band who waited for your sign to play.

As the band started up, you danced around the stage a bit.

“So if you don’t know, i wrote this many, many, many years ago when i was stuck as a showstopper for tow men on each side of the fold, one more then the other..” You referenced to your pants before raising an eyebrow.

Aleksander wasn’t surprised, zlatan of course wouldn’t share a summoner with anyone, especially the king and aleksander.

“Can’t take my charm,

Can’t take my humor,

Can’t take my wealth, cause it’s just a rumor.

Nothing you can take was ever with keeping.

No nothing you can take was every worthing keeping.”

As alina listened to your singing she glanced around the room and froze as she spotted aleksander and the other grisha in the club.

Alina subtly nudged mal who popped up and ushered alina through the crowd to leave quickly.

As you took a breath, you felt yourself stop for a moment, as you took note of the dark eyes of the darkling.

“Thinking you’re so fine,

Thinking you could have mine.

Thinking in control, thinking you can change me, maybe rearrange me.

Think again if that’s your goal.” 

You stomped your boots at each sentence, making the crowd cheer.

Through the small break of your singing, you held strong eye contact with the darkling, from what zlatan had told you, he was saving you from the general who had “tossed your abilities aside” those were the only words you believed from the first general, you had tried to get test when you were a teen but got reject when you said you could summon.

“Can’t take my sass,

Can’t take my talking.

You can kiss my ass,

Then keep on walking!

Nothing you can take was ever worth keeping,

Oh, nothing you can take was ever worth keeping.” You stared him down while continuing to sing.

Zoya scoffed as she followed your and aleksander’s gaze to one another. 

Aleksander looked away from you to look at the sour expression on her face.

“She’s insulting you to your face..” 

“I know..” He responded, his eyes moving back onto you which your eyes were closed as you finished the song.

“Nothing you can take from is worth dirt,

Take it cause i’d give it free, it won’t hurt.

Nothing you can take was ever worth keeping..”

As you finished the crowd cheered making you grin and gave a bow before walking to your bandmate and motioned for behind the stage before exiting, they band continued to play as you left.

Aleksander hadn’t noticed zoya rambling on how disrespectful you were, he piped up as you left the stage. “I’ll be back.” He told zoya before walking outside the club.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

You quietly exited from the building and leaned against the building.

You were now screwed, after many blissful years away from zlatan and kirigan it had to come crashing down.

Being upset you got up and kicked the tins in the back alley of the club.

“That was quite the show..” You jumped at the general’s voice.

“General kirigan..” You greeted, walking to pick up the fallen over tins. 

“You worked under zlatan?” He questioned, making you chuckle. 

“What made it obvious? My clothes or the song?” You asked, putting the lid back on before turning to his figure.

“He rarely sent letters to the palace grounds to let us know of anything.” 

You scoffed, knowing where he was trying to lead the conversation.

“Bullshit, don’t play like you never knew about me, I stood in front of grisha testers and was denied a retest because of my ability, each test is shown in front of you, in your lap to see the newest grisha!” You walked closer to him as you went on.

“Nice try to play that card but the only words I ever believed from zlatan was that you tossed me aside.” You brushed past the darkling and went to enter the club again but was stopped by him grabbing your wrist in a tight grasp and pulling you back to face him.

“You could train in the little palace with others, be with your own kind.” He tried to convince you.

“You missed that train where I wanted to fit in with others badly, I will not be trained to replace your little sun summoner.” You ripped your wrist form his grasp and walked back into the club.

Aleksander stood by himself in the alley, shocked you had decline his offer.

After he collected himself he walked into the club to collect his grisha.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Weeks had passed since the incident at the club.

Aleksander hadn’t been expecting a meeting with the king, he was confused at the sudden arrangement.

“Tsar.” Aleksander greeted as he entered his war room.

“General.” King Pyotr greeted, letting aleksander step in further before continuing. 

“Is there a reason you called upon me?” Aleksander questioned.

“When you were visiting ryevost, did you happened to see this girl?” The king unfolded a drawing of the singer he had a conversation with weeks ago.

“She’s rumored to be a moon summoner, if anything, everyone’s after her. And i believe she’ll do good here in the little palace under your control.” He continued, aleksander studied the poster.

“I’ll send grisha to find her…” The king smiled and nodded in aleksander’s direction before getting up and leaving.

Once gone, aleksander picked up the paper to admire your beauty. 

“I’ll find you, songbird..” He muttered as he read over the paper.

Y/N Y/L/N  - GRISHA - WANTED BY KING PYOTR AND GENERAL KIRIGAN.

#aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova x you #the darkling x reader #the darkling x you #darkling x reader #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan x you #aleksander morozova fluff #shadow and bone x reader

[wheres-mylove]

my heart, truly yours | nikolai lantsov x fem!reader

Summary: They were never meant to have a future together. Nikolai’s responsibilty draws him away from the love of his life.

Disclaimer: English isn’t my first language!

Word count: 0.5k, short little angsty baby 

It was honestly a shame that a Heartrender, a woman who held such power over other people’s hearts, was never going to be able to gain power over her own. It belonged to someone else. Nikolai Lantsov could bend it to his will, break it, toss it away. And she was helpless. Because no matter how much she tried, she couldn’t rip the longing feeling from the depth of her soul.

She used to be certain that she had known her place very well. A Grisha. Not a royalty. Baghra would definitely call her a stupid, stupid girl now. And she deserved that title. The stupid little girl who let a prince conquer her heart.

He could kiss and cherish her when his hair was bright red. Those were the times for being reckless. For allowing your feelings to guide you.

And now she was attending the engagement party of the man she loved. But she wasn’t betrothed to him. Alina Starkov was.

“Someone’s looking a bit pale. Aren’t you delighted that our beloved prince is going to marry the famous Sun Summoner?” a voice sneered behind her back. Vasily Lantsov. Always so sweet.

“Of course I am, moi tsarevich. How could I not be? It’s a great day for Ravka,” she managed to choke out, twirling the glass filled with champagne in her hand.

“Interesting,” he commented, smirking in a way that made her sick. “Everyone knows, darling. And everyone in this room is pitying you.”

She took a deep breath to compose herself. Talking back wasn’t an option. Giving him a heart attack neither. So she remained silent.

Vasily scoffed and left her in the middle of the crowd. She was searching for a familiar face of Mal Oretsev, but she couldn’t find him among the guests. The one person who could understand her pain. Maybe he was a bit wiser than her, and saved himself the trouble of showing up. Smart boy.

Nikolai asked her to come there. Not very considerate of him.

The door opened, revealing a Lantsov prince and the most famous Grisha in the world by his side. They slowly entered, hand in hand.

Oh, dear heart. This palace was never a good place for you. Now you are being walked on. Broken with such ease. But still his to break.

Nikolai locked eyes with her. Glossy eyes. The ones she gazed into many times. Filled with love. And pleading for forgiveness.

She silently begged him to look away. To pretend not to know her. Royal court is observant. And he’s acting scandalous.

Alina seemed to notice, giving him a subtle reprimand. She thanks her for it by nodding her head. Starkov’s eyes were suddenly asking for forgiveness as well.

Heartrender couldn’t blame the girl on his arm. She could only blame herself for allowing Nikolai Lantsov to get so dangerously close.

In the chaos that came next, he was screaming her name. Praying in a frantic way to all known Saints. Keep her safe. Nikolai’s heart prayed for it.

Not a king’s heart. A lover’s heart. The one that always belonged to her.

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lanstov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai lantsov fanfiction #nikolai lantsov fanfic #shadow and bone #shadow and bone fanfiction

[cultleaderyoongi]

With You, All The Way | myg

☆ pairing: Yoongi x f. reader

☆ genre: ex2l, pwp • angst, smut, fluff

☆ word count: 10k (I have no excuse except for I'm frustrated)

☆ warnings: toxic stuff happens, a lot of miscommunication; a lot of making up and making out; some cursing; mentions of alcohol; explicit smut – kinda soft dom!Yoongi, breast/nipple play (he's kinda a boob guy), fingering, eating out, handjob, blowjob, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (reader is on birth control tho which is mentioned), multiple orgasms, simultaneous orgasms, creampie, some praise, some aftercare

☆ synopsis: Break-ups are rough, more so if you and your ex share the same friend circle. How could a simple and supposedly tame night full of fun games change the trajectory of your relationship that is no more?

☆ playlist: Tinashe – Perfect Crime | Alina Baraz – Between Us | Kali Uchis – Moonlight

☆ a/n: Guess who's back after *checking imaginary watch on my wrist* almost a year 💀 Did I whip this out within approximately two weeks? Maybe. This is the fastest I've ever written, so therefore it's sloppily edited – especially towards the end (I'm not a fast writer, ok? I'll come back to edit it soon). Listen, I was super heartbroken about the concert (still am), so my mind conjured up this beast of a delusional, self-indulgent story. Pls think of me when you go see my man live, especially if it's the Newark show tonight 😭

I started off this story with Marie Claire Yoongi in mind, but with the release of D-Day it turned more and more into Haegeum Yoongi, sooo...feel free to imagine whichever version you want. Happy D-Day era to y'all! Lmk what's your favorite track, your favorite look, your favorite whatever. Let's talk and suffer together lol

Enough of my rambling though. I hope you enjoy reading! As always, if you do – thank you and pls lmk what you think ♡

☆ taglist: @main-bangtansmauyeondan @jwlmnbt (I'm really horrible at keeping track of my taglist which is also due to my inconsistent posting, but if you see this and you remember wanting to be on my practically non-existent permanent taglist pls lmk)

© cultleaderyoongi on tumblr | do not repost or translate on any platform

You shouldn't be here.

You really shouldn't.

Whose idea was it to bring everyone together for a night of fun activities and drinks? Whose stupid idea was it to invite you when your least favorite person in the world is going to be present as well? And furthermore, whose stupid idea was it to seat the two of you within clear vision of each other?

"Don't hate the player, hate the game." Your friend Jimin, the host and therefore perpetrator of all this, speaks with a smirk as if to answer your internal monologue, watching your other friend Jungkook pick up eight colorful cards after being hit with two subsequent draw fours.

Laughter goes around the circle as the youngest tries to rearrange the abundance of cards in his hands.

Truth be told, you could've declined. It's not Jimin's fault things went south with you and the man whose glare avoids you as if his life depends on it. Yet you spot glimpses of his feline eyes set on you when he least expects it, catching him off-guard – and suddenly the fluffy, white rug beneath his feet is a lot more interesting to look at.

"Oh Jungkook, you're almost as rich as Taehyung!" Seokjin jokes, drawing your attention back to the group.

Hoseok joins in, accompanied by an animated cackle. "You're giving Taehyung a run for his money."

You muster said boy beside you, his brows furrowed and tongue poking out in focus. He can barely spread out his set of cards without dropping any. Poor Taehyung.

As the game continues and more and more people yell out Uno in relief until a loser is revealed (it's a close and tedious match between Jungkook and Taehyung, but at the end Jungkook pulls through) you pay close attention to the way Yoongi toys with the rings on his fingers. He always does this when he's anxious. His action is incessant, almost obnoxious in your eyes. You don't like being here any less than he does, but at least you try your damn hardest to pull yourself together in front of your friends. They're your friends as well as his. You haven't had the chance to see them as much lately while he gets to see them all the time – they live together, for fuck's sake!

"_____." Jimin's voice pulls you back to reality. "Lend me a hand?"

"Uh yeah, sure." You spring up from your seat, realizing Jimin asks for your help clearing the table.

While he collects the cards strewn across the coffee table, you make move of collecting empty bottles and cans. In your position, you're slightly hunched over the surface which involuntarily causes one thing to happen.

Your suspicion is confirmed when you look up at your ex-boyfriend shamelessly staring at your cleavage. There's a split second where you make direct eye contact once he grasps the situation – and now things are ten times more awkward.

Taking a deep inhale, you place everything on the kitchen island nearby before returning to your seat. You muster Yoongi's stone-cold, almost dead-like expression. To anyone that didn't witness what happened seconds ago, it probably looks like the regular go-to mood for Min Yoongi. But you can catch the tiny movement of teeth nibbling on the inside of his bottom lip. Oh, he's frustrated. You can't quite determine yet if you're proud of this achievement.

Meanwhile, Jimin sets up the next game.

"This doesn't look like a safe game to be around Namjoon-hyung," Jungkook murmurs, inspecting the tower of wooden blocks stacked on top of each other.

"Hey!" Namjoon retorts to the boy, his lips pulled into a slight pout. "I can play Jenga alright. Just you watch."

There are noises of disagreement going around the group, some of the guys sharing anecdotes on things Namjoon has accidentally broken recently.

"There's a little twist, by the way," Jimin informs everyone amidst the commotion. "Each block has an instruction on the bottom. Kinda like truth or dare – but you don't get to choose."

"Oh!" Seokjin claps his hands once in excitement. "Now we're talking."

Of course, leave it to Park Jimin to make an already awkward evening even more awkward by potentially causing ruckus with whatever tasks he gives out to people. Great.

After a match of rock, paper, scissor to determine who starts (which is Namjoon who already almost has the tower topple over by crouching down to the table), the first few turns go by in a breeze. Nothing too out of the ordinary has been requested yet. Taehyung choosing Jimin if he had to pick someone he would date out of the bunch or Jungkook giving Hoseok a lap dance like there's no tomorrow seem like natural occurrences for a Saturday night in this house.

"My turn," you murmur as you bend over until you reach the stack. Carefully, you pick a piece from the lower half, smiling to yourself as it slips out with ease. That smile fades though as soon as it appears when you flip over the block to read out the demand: kiss a person of your choice (on the lips! No less than 10 seconds).

There are multiple Oohs going around the group. Some are of surprised and enthusiastic nature – some stem from a place of concern.

You're rooted in place, your mouth running dry at the idea of... What exactly? There's nothing to be nervous about. Most of the guys (emphasis on most) wouldn't even make such a big deal out of this for your sake. Also, you're not blind. You've got handsome friends for sure. Each and every single one of them. It's the thought of him and the consequences. Whatever that may entail.

"I don't think this is right." Namjoon comes to your rescue, most likely sensing your discomfort.

"Why not?" Taehyung asks in earnest, visibly confused about the elder's remark. "She's a free woman. She's free to do whatever."

"Hyung," Jungkook chimes in, "I know for a fact she's not gonna kiss you. You can stop sucking up to her."

The youngest's savage comment has everyone in a laughing fit – everyone except for Yoongi of course.

Uncertainty takes over your mind, covering it in a thick blanket. It's been three months since the two of you broke up. Are you still hung up on him? Yes. A hundred percent yes. Does the same apply to him? You can't say for sure. He's been eerily quiet the entire evening, almost too quiet for your liking. He could either be hiding his innermost thoughts or he actually doesn't give a single fuck about you anymore.

Once the laughter dies down, the sound of his all too familiar voice has you lifting your eyes from the little troublemaker in your hand.

"He's right," Yoongi points out plainly, referring to Taehyung. "She can do whatever she pleases. I don't care."

As he finishes up with a sip of his whiskey, the room falls silent. Nobody dares so much as even breathe. Everyone exchanges looks between each other ranging from unease to utter shock.

So he really doesn't care.

"Okay." You catch his attention with these two syllables, his eyes never straying from you as you place the wooden piece on top of the tower. Making your way over to his side of the couch, you maintain eye contact throughout. There's a slight twitch noticeable in his eyes, confusion taking over his features. Once in front of him, you bend over before leaning in – only you redirect at the last second, wrapping your arms around Seokjin's neck who's sitting next to him. You give it no second thought, planting your lips onto his in an instant.

Although in tunnel vision, you can still hear the gasps around the room. You didn't think this through, but you have to commit now which is why you slightly intensify the kiss by parting your lips. Your hunched-over position becomes uncomfortable though, causing you to drop down to one knee beside Seokjin's thigh on the cushion.

He welcomes the closer vicinity, holding you by your waist with gentle hands.

Has it been ten seconds yet? You have no idea. You assume Jimin would count down, but he's probably too stupefied like the rest of them. Throwing in the tiniest of tongue action for good measure, you part again rather sooner than later. A clear sheen of lip gloss and saliva covers your friend's plush lips. His ears are flushed almost a hot pink.

Your job here is done.

Clearing your throat, you turn around to no one in particular. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom. You can keep playing without me."

And with that, you brush past Yoongi's frozen form, ignoring the whispers going around the room.

You've been warned about the sink in the downstairs bathroom not working (once again, courtesy of Namjoon), so you swiftly climb up the flight of stairs to the upstairs bathroom.

Closing the door behind you, you let out a loud exhale before you make your way over to the sink. You don't have to use the bathroom. You just need a minute to breathe. Or two. Or five.

You look up at your reflection in the mirror, the telltale sign of the kiss written all over your lips. Had you known this is how things are going to pan out, you would've opted for smudge-proof lipstick. Turning on the faucet, you dab some water onto the pad of your finger to wipe at the corners of your mouth.

What have you done?

A knock on the door startles you.

"What?" you ask, wondering who it is.

"Let me in."

The deep, raspy tone coming from the other side of the door draws an annoyed sigh out of you. "I'm peeing," you answer flatly.

"No, you're not."

Another heavier sigh passes your lips this time. He's the last person you want to see right now, but something tells you to give in still. "What do you want?" you bite as you swing open the door with so much power you almost detach it from its hinges.

Yoongi steps over the threshold, closing it behind him with equal force. The impact causes the door handle to rattle. He watches you wander back over to the sink, irritation marking every inch of his face. "What the fuck was that for?" he spits with so much venom it's far from characteristic of him.

"What do you mean 'what the fuck was that for'?" You turn to face the mirror, inspecting yourself again. "I did what was expected of me."

Coming up behind you, your ex-boyfriend shoots daggers at you through the reflection. "Are you fucking kidding me? That was way more than what was expected of you!"

"What's your fucking problem? You made it clear in front of everyone, including me, you don't care. Besides"–with your blood pumping hot through your veins, you spin around looking him dead in the eye–"you wanted this. You ended this." You point back and forth between the two of you. "So you don't get to complain now."

He stares you down with what you can now decipher as hurt and rage. "Don't talk about our relationship like it was just a thing. For fuck's sake, _____! We were together for almost two years." His growing distress shows as he rushes a hand through his pitch-black hair. "You took equal part in the downfall. You took equal part in the decision."

A small scoff comes to the surface. "Are you actually listening to yourself? You sat me down and told me this wasn't gonna work out – not me. You came up with all the excuses you're too busy and your career doesn't allow a stable life when you know very well I've tried everything in my willpower to make things work."

His features contort more into agony. "That's because you were never satisfied with my solutions. Who says you were the only one trying to make things work? Nothing was ever good enough for you. I know I have a busy lifestyle, but things always have to go according to your plan. You immediately shut down whenever I suggest something that's not part of your vision."

You roll your eyes at him, partially in anger but also in a poor attempt at keeping your tears at bay. He's not entirely wrong, you're aware of that. It wasn't easy with him, but you could be equally as stubborn. At the time, the glass was simply too broken to put back together – no matter how hard any of you tried. Maybe you needed the time apart to see clearer.

"These past three months were hell for me," you confess suddenly, dropping your head in shame.

There's a beat of silence following your words. "For me as well," Yoongi finally answers, his voice coming out barely above a whisper.

"How come we're so bad at this?" It's more of a rhetorical question, but you genuinely wonder how you managed to stay together this long.

Another pause settles in before Yoongi speaks up again. "I don't think we're bad at relationships. There are things we need to work on, sure. But these things don't come overnight." After wetting his lips tentatively, he continues, "We're already making big progress by talking about this – even if we wanted to strangle each other seconds ago. If anything, we needed this in order to finally be honest and not hide behind a façade anymore."

Your mind takes you back to that fateful day when you talked each other through the break-up. Things were convoluted as you convinced each other you didn't see any future in being together just to avoid addressing the truth and finding a common denominator. It seemed easier this way, running away from your problems and saving face in the process.

Now look where it led you – the worst outcome possible.

Catching a stray tear rolling down your cheek, you muster up the courage to look at him again. "What do we do now?"

He lets out a low hum at the sight of you, his hand coming up to carefully wipe another tear close to spilling from the corner of your eye. "I don't know. All I know is I don't like this. The distance, the avoidance – the animosity."

"Yeah." You let his words hang heavy in the room. Hard agree on this one. "Neither do I."

"And I certainly don't like seeing you make out with someone else right in front of my face – let alone Jin-hyung at that."

His comment has you chuckling lightly. "To be fair, I didn't enjoy it as much as you'd think."

"You're joking." He breaks out into his signature gummy smirk. "Worldwide Handsome didn't do it for you?"

You shake your head, a small smile forming on your face. "He's not you."

At that, his grin grows even wider, his eyes turning into downturned crescents.

"I'm sorry, by the way." You play with one of the bracelets around your wrist, tugging at the golden chain.

Yoongi reaches for your arm, most likely out of reflex as he notices your hesitation. "It's okay. I'm sorry, too." Dropping his hand, he elaborates, "I overreacted earlier. You're not... We're not­..."

He struggles to finish his thought, but you know exactly what he's trying to say. "Do you want to be?" you drawl, immediately wincing at how desperate you sound. Maybe it's still too early for this.

Your concern dissipates as his eyes light up in an instant. "Of course," he murmurs. "I've always wanted to."

The corners of your lips tug upwards again at that. "I do, too," you follow up though you're sure he already figured.

What a serious turn of events. Who would've thought things were going to work out this way? You could hug the world right now. Hell, you could hug the entire universe.

"Should we..." he starts, a mischievous glint glossing over his irises, "shake hands on this?"

Bursting into laughter, you shake your head at his ridiculous idea. "That's so formal. We're not business partners."

"Fine then."

Your laughter ceases instantly as he takes a few steps forward, slowly backing you into the marble countertop behind you.

"Should we hug it out instead?"

You watch the way his tongue swipes across his bottom lip as you're caged in between his arms, the closeness sending your mind reeling.

"Or do you have something else in mind?"

Swallowing down hard, your focus switches between his lips and the seductive gaze he holds you with. "A hug would be a start,” you croak out.

He sends you a crooked smile before releasing his grip around the corner of the sink, enveloping you with both arms for a tight bear hug, his cheek coming to a rest on your temple.

You welcome his touch, bending your arms that are stuck underneath his to clasp around his shoulders. An abundance of warmth and comfort washes over you, so you bury your face into the crook of his neck to take it all in. Words can't describe how much you missed this – how much you missed him.

The two of you stay like this for a while until Yoongi breaks the silence. "Just to be clear–"

You lift your head to get a proper look at him.

"–I do care. I always have, and I always will."

All trains of thought leave you as you stare at each other, the sincerity in his eyes granting them with a spark you haven't seen yet before. You swear there's a magnetic force involved, that's how strong the urge is when you slowly close the distance pressing your lips onto his.

Bliss overtakes you instantly, the familiar feeling of his lips bringing back all the memories of the past two years. Things were never easy between you, but you want to make it work this time no matter the cost.

Once you pull apart, all you can do is look at each other, completely at a loss for words. You catch the way Yoongi's focus switches back and forth between your eyes though, trailing down to your lips before coming back up where it ultimately stays.

He loosens one of his arms around you, bringing it up to rest his hand on the side of your neck. With his thumb, he rubs soothing circles into your cheek.

You close your eyes at his touch, unfurling an arm from behind his back to curl around his neck instead. The other follows the curve of his spine before enclosing around his waist.

"God..." Yoongi murmurs, his forehead coming to rest against yours. "I missed you so much."

Blinking your eyelids open, you catch the moment his open just a second later. "I missed you, too."

This time it's he who draws you in for a kiss, his hand gently tilting your head to the side to grant him access.

There's always been something super addictive about Yoongi's kisses. From the tingling sensation that infests your entire body starting at the top of your scalp all the way down to the soles of your feet, to the funny feeling in your core that has you weak in the knees and lose all sense of self – you could never get enough.

You're done for when he parts his mouth slightly, the tip of his tongue slipping through the seam of yours. You let out an involuntary moan, seeking solace as you tighten your grip around the cotton fabric of his shirt.

He steps closer causing you to part your legs to make space for him. With your torso bent backward into a small arch, he starts planting kisses along your jawline down your neck.

At this point, you're like wax in his hands. Of course he's more than familiar with your weak spots.

His hold around your waist wanders down to your thigh as he hooks your leg around his hip, gently hoisting you up on the countertop. In a painstakingly slow fashion, his lips flutter across your collarbone before they land above the cups of your bustier top.

You can feel his hand travel further up your thigh, shyly slipping beneath the denim fabric of your skirt. Before he can go any further, you gently grab him by the wrist.

Flustered, the male lifts his face from your cleavage. "Sorry, did I–"

"No," you interrupt him quickly. You don't want him to get the wrong idea. "Not here."

"What–"

Before he can ask any further questions, you climb off the counter, dragging him out of the bathroom down the dark hallway.

The door closes behind you with a silent click before you switch on the light.

You haven't seen this room since the break-up. It looks about the same, maybe a bit messier than you remember. The bed looks like it's been made in a hurry, there are a few more clothes strewn around than you're used to from your ex-boyfriend. You're unsure of the emotions that overcome you. They're something along the lines of guilt, shame – sadness.

In your daydream, you don't notice Yoongi coming to stand in front of you. "I'm sorry it's kinda messy," he apologizes, scratching the back of his head. "I didn't expect company tonight."

You solemnly shake your head. "It's fine. That's not it."

It's silent for a beat until he speaks up again. "We don't have to do anything if you don't want to."

Again, you shake your head. "I do though."

The man musters you sternly as if to read your mind. Then he cracks a small smile. "Okay. Me too."

One wouldn't be able to tell the two of you were engaged in a semi-heated make-out session just a minute ago with the way you're gradually closing the distance between you. But once your arms are slung around his neck again, the passion from before resurfaces in an instant.

His hold around your waist grows more desperate with each passing second, pulling you further into the room along with him until you reach the foot end of his bed. In between hungry kisses, he plops down onto the mattress with a soft thud.

You're still in a mostly upright position, a little bit hunched over with one knee propped up beside his thigh as you continue kissing him. It's comically similar to the scene from the living room – although this time it's with the right man. The realization has you chuckling against his lips.

"What's so funny?" he asks, breaking out into a smirk of his own.

You playfully nibble on his lower lip. "Nothing," you lie. "Just thought about how strange life is sometimes."

A tiny squeal escapes you as Yoongi suddenly drags you down with him, your arms coming out just right on time to cushion the fall. "Life is strange," he agrees. "But I like where it's leading us right now."

The mischief in his tone doesn't go unnoticed by you, so to wipe that smile off his face you lean down stealing another kiss from him. It starts off relatively tame before you try to rile him up ever so slowly, lowering your body until you're straddling his waist. Your tongues are fighting for dominance, but ultimately you have the upper hand in this as you pull away, watching him from above in all his glory. Or so you thought because the second you lay eyes on his fucked-out expression, his parted lips so plump and shiny and his pitch-black hair splayed out on the white comforter you swear you lose all sense of reality. Ethereal is the word that comes to your mind. He's nothing short of ethereal.

"Ah!"

Yoongi takes advantage of the situation while you're lost in your thoughts, flipping you over on your back. "Enjoying the view?" he jokes, his gummy smirk on full display.

You snort. "Maybe."

His lips are on you again immediately, retracing their path from earlier as he places kiss after kiss over the curvature of your chest. "So am I."

You're reduced to whimpers when he sucks love bites into your skin.

Once he pulls away to admire his work, he informs you with a straight face, "You know, I had a really hard time not staring when we were downstairs."

You bite your lip, patiently waiting for the revelation.

"But then you helped clearing the table, and they were practically in my face, so–"

"You missed my tits," you interject with an amused smile.

He chortles. "You make it sound so crude." Tracing the intricate flower embroidery covering your breasts with his finger, he elaborates, "Obviously, I love looking at all of you. Not just your tits."

The way he repeats the word has you burst into laughter.

"Stop laughing at me." His cheeks rise into full globes before his face falls again. "I'm serious, I missed seeing your face. You look really beautiful tonight."

Whatever bullshit you were about to say – it's gone. The way his words leave his lips with such sincerity and his eyes are set on you as if to imprint every single inch of your face in his brain renders you speechless. All you can do is show him that you missed him just as much – if not even more. Pulling him down to you by the nape of his neck, you press your lips together again, eagerly running your hand through the strands on the back of his head. It's gotten a little bit longer ever since you broke up, and admittedly you find it kind of sexy.

"In all seriousness though"–Yoongi mumbles in between kisses–"as beautiful as you look in this, I want if off now." Toying with the strap of your top, he gently glides it over your shoulder until it loses tension.

You comply with no questions asked, propping yourself up on your elbows. Yoongi catches on right away, reaching behind you to pull down the zipper. It always amused you how contradicting he could be, his patient character cracking when it came to intimacy, his soft-spoken nature turning more daring and demanding.

A low hum resonates from him at the sight of your bare breasts, and it doesn't take long until his attention is on them again, his hand cupping one of them while he bends down to take care of the other.

The sudden contact has you moaning out louder than you'd like. As he changes up the motions on your hardened nipple, it's hard to keep it down now. Throwing your head back, you relish the onslaught of suckles and licks, kisses and bites.

He switches sides, granting your other boob the same treatment while still squeezing the prior.

You're a mess, to say the least, the dampness sodding your panties a sure indicator of that.

As if he's living in your head, Yoongi's hand wanders down the expanse of your torso before stopping right under the hemline of your miniskirt. Tugging at the seam, he grumbles, "Take this off, too, baby."

The audacity to throw in the pet name as well – you've never been quicker at undressing up until this point. Your hands are shaky as you're fiddling with the button though, so Yoongi comes to the rescue, unbuttoning it at the speed of light yet the veins raking across his hands have your undivided attention, prolonging the moment to infinity.

He slides down from the bed to the floor, taking the obstructing clothing with him at the same time.

There's something about you being stripped down to your underwear whereas he's still dressed that sends uncontrollable tingles to your core.

While leaving fluttery pecks across your lower abdomen, the male slips a single digit under the fabric covering your crotch. "We haven't even started yet"–he places another peck closer to your pelvic mound–"but you're already so wet, baby."

A snarky response is on the tip of your tongue, something along the lines of it being a given when he's been playing with your boobs like a man possessed, but you swallow it down when he drags his finger over your folds, dipping the tip into your slit.

Your reaction is immediate, the whimper passing your lips drawing a smile onto his. "God, I can't wait to make you cum," he grunts, and with that his fingers hook around the waistband of your panties, removing the last remaining piece of clothing covering you.

Any sort of thought dissipates from your mind as he throws your thighs over his shoulders and his mouth connects with your center, licking up your arousal like it's a sport.

You're no stranger to the things he's capable of with his tongue, but this is no match to the times before. His moves are calculated yet determined, taking you to the brink of an orgasm in record time. There's no use holding back anymore, your hand covering your mouth doing little to nothing hiding your whines.

In between all the licking and sucking, Yoongi retracts for a split second, a wicked grin gracing his features. "Getting close?"

"Mh-hm," you hum out breathlessly. "Please don't stop."

He doesn't need another plea from you, his movements more eager than before as he continues eating you out.

Weaving your hand through his thick locks, you watch him from above. His eyebrows are furrowed as he focuses on your pleasure, his hands around your thighs digging deep into your flesh. This sight alone could have you cumming on the spot, but it's the switch-up from small kitten licks to suckles on your clit with the perfect amount of pressure that drives you over the edge. "I-I'm cumming, fuck!"

He guides you through your release, letting you grind on his face as he runs his hands over your thighs locked around his head in a tight grip. Once you're done riding it out, he presses one last kiss to your quivering core, smirking at the way you squirm over the sensitivity.

"Fuck," you curse again in disbelief. The room around you appears surreal. You watch the ceiling above you to regain consciousness. He essentially mouth-fucked you into oblivion.

A light kiss to your temple brings you back from wherever your mind was catapulted to. Outer space or another dimension. No one really knows for sure.

"Still with me?" Yoongi checks on you, his thumb rubbing tiny circles into the highpoint of your cheek.

You swallow down hard, willing your eyes to focus on his looking back at you. The deep brown of his irises resembles that of the Iced Americanos that he loves so much although warmer and more welcoming than the caffeinated drink. "Y-yeah," you manage out.

"Good." He bends down to peck your lips. "Thought I'd lost you for a second."

You might as well be lost for the rest of eternity. Your hands seek for harbor, digging into the sleeves of his jacket. "Take this off," you mumble, impatiently tugging at the garment.

"Alright." Yoongi chuckles at your cute antics, taking it off instantly.

You're not satisfied yet though, curling your hands around the hem of his shirt, dragging it upward until a sliver of his abdomen shows. "This, too."

He shushes you, grabbing ahold of your wrists. "Baby, you're getting too excited."

With your lips in a pout you protest, "I'm not. I just wanna take care of you, too."

His laughter resonates in your ears. "You're gonna get to take care of me soon enough." You're still pouting, so he comes up with a peace offering. "Here, how about this?" Guiding his hand back down to your heat, he proposes, "Give me another one, and I'll let you do whatever you want with me for a while."

You're spent already, your first orgasm having drained your entire energy. But you're willing to go again if that means getting what you want. Nodding your head, you lean back onto the bed.

"Good girl."

Holy shit.

It takes all your might not to melt into a puddle right then and there, but his working hand doesn't give you enough time to even process his words, his ringed fingers already drawing circles on your swollen bud. You gasp out silently, leaving an imprint on the mattress with how hard you're throwing your head back.

His digits expertly tickle your clit as if you're a key on his piano or a string on his guitar, experimentally dipping them into your heat for precise pumps. You thank the gods but also simultaneously curse the devil for making this man skilled with both his tongue and his hands.

It's not long until you feel the all too familiar knot in your core tighten again, squeezing your walls around his fingers as you feel the cold metal adorning them.

"That's it, baby," he growls. The pad of his thumb works your nub while his ring and index finger drag in and out of you with fast strokes. "Almost there."

You barely manage out anything intelligible other than Yeah and Don't stop. Sweat forms on your skin from your neck down to your chest, the golden pendant of your necklace clinging to it. So close, so damn close.

His hawk eyes are on you the entire time, intense and sinister. Not a single twitch of your muscles passes them by. If it wasn't for that crooked smile of his you would think he's studying you, analyzing your every move.

It's easy to feel intimidated under his watch, so to lessen your nerves – and finally bring yourself over the edge – you grab him by the collar, pulling him close to you. "Kiss me,” you murmur as if his lips aren't already pressed to yours.

With one last wicked grin, Yoongi gives in to your request, kissing you as if his life depends on it. He knows exactly how to get you going, lets you taste yourself on his tongue while he produces more of your sinful essence.

All you can do is whimper against his mouth until you break apart, another orgasm ripping out of you sooner than you thought that has your thighs clamping shut and your back arching off the mattress. A string of profanities leaves your lips as Yoongi continues massaging your clit through your high. Your sweaty hand clutching at the comforter snatches his wrist, stopping his crazed motions. "F-fuck okay, stop," you manage out, your throat as dry as a desert.

The man has the audacity to send a soft slap to your folds before pressing a quick peck onto your temple. "You did so well." He peers down at you with a gummy smile as he sits up straight, popping his soaked fingers into his mouth. "That was fun."

You're essentially an empty vessel, watching him with your mouth agape while nothing but a numbing, tingling sensation travels along your limbs. This must be the afterlife. Hell or heaven or maybe both.

"Alright." His voice takes you back to the bedroom. "As promised"–he shuffles to the edge of the bed, spreading his legs–"you have all the creative control now."

A tired chuckle escapes you before you scramble yourself up on your elbows, immediately sliding down to the floor in front of where Yoongi sits. You're quick to work on his belt, looping the leather through the holes although the feeling in your fingers hasn't returned yet.

The sound of Yoongi's laughter fills your ears, and you know you must look like a fool with the way you're trying to get him out of his pants before you even took off his shirt. Oh shit, yeah. You totally forgot about his shirt, but you have all the time in the world. For now, your focus is on something entirely else.

He observes you as you pull down his jeans and boxers in one go, lifting his butt from the bed to facilitate the process for you. He sports this cocky sideway smirk that drives you insane, but you manage to wipe it off his face the second your hand wraps around his length. A hiss passes through his teeth once you start stroking him in an up-and-down motion. Throwing his head back, he lets you take full control.  

You add in a twisting motion whenever you reach the tip which clearly affects the man, his breathing becoming shallow and his whines turning into guttural moans. "I've barely done anything," you tease him just as he did earlier. "But you're already so hard."

That smirk returns instantly though weaker this time. "So what? I get hard watching you get off."

"Mh-hm," you hum unimpressed. "So what you're saying is I can do this"–you bend forward to slowly lick a stripe from the base up to the tip, giving the head a light suck–"and it does nothing for your raging hard-on?"

Whatever response is on the tip of his tongue, it disappears as soon as you put your mouth on him again, swallowing half of his length. "Ah, fuck!" His hand shoots up to hold you by the back of your head. The further you take him down your throat, the tighter his grip around your hair becomes. "Baby..."

You wish you could imprint this memory on instant film. The rosiness creeping up on his cheeks and neck compliment his smooth, milky skin so well. A thin sheen of sweat starts forming on his forehead, the strands of his dark bangs clinging to it framing his face like a picture. He's beyond beautiful, especially when he falls apart under the touch of your hand and the wet, warm comfort of your mouth.

Your head bops up and down at an excruciating pace now, his hard-on covered in slick from your saliva. You ignore the stinging ache in your jaw, planning on sucking him dry. He's always been such a sucker for your blowjobs, so you want to put on the best show possible for him.

"Baby," he repeats, his voice quivering. "Please."

Slowing down your movements, you resort to running your tongue across the protruding vein on the side of his length. "Yes?"

His hands wander down to your arms. "Come here."

"Hm?" You give him one final hard suck before pulling off him with a loud pop. Still kneeling in front of the man, you feign ignorance.

Impatiently, he pulls you up to your feet. "Stop playing."

You practically fall into his arms, straddling him in the process. His hands immediately find their way to your ass, grabbing a handful causing you to gasp. "What now?" you ask innocently, covering him with your slick as you grind down on him.

Drawing you in for a heated kiss, he drags your pelvis down onto his even harder. "Hands and knees, baby," the man orders with a sharp slap to your ass.

You don't waste another second, complying as you crawl off his lap. Getting into position with your butt high up in the air, you can hear his feet shuffle across the hardwood floor. He reappears in your vision shortly after, rummaging through the drawers of the bedside table.

"Shit," he curses harshly. "I thought I had some in here."

No further explanation is needed to understand what he's referring to. Sitting up on your heels, you watch Yoongi run a hand through his hair in distress.

"Can you check the other side?" he suggests, his eyes set on you.

"Sure." Leaning over the edge of the bed, you sift through the drawers though without luck.

Yoongi usually keeps the condoms on his side, the right side. When you were together, you would occupy the left side which is closer to the window. You always preferred the one closest to the window. It didn't matter much to Yoongi which side he slept on, but he made sure yours was always cleared so you could store whatever stuff you wanted. From any type of jewelry you took off before going to sleep, to snacks or books you brought with you that day – you always had your space within his home. And going through what were once your drawers, you realize nothing much has changed. They look rather uninhabited, no traces of you or him – or even someone else which is a concern that crosses your mind now.

He scratches the back of his head. "Fuck..." His voice comes out in defeat. "Maybe I can ask one of the other guys–"

"Don't!" You grab him by the wrist before he can wander off.

Confused, he looks down at your hand then back at you. "Why? You don't want to anymore?"

Shaking your head, you murmur sheepishly, "That's not it." There's a beat of silence as he waits for more. You swallow down the lump in your throat before you elaborate further, "Have you been with anyone else after..."

He holds your gaze, his eyes turning somber at your insinuation. "No."

His answer his short, but it's all you need to know. Min Yoongi might be the master of poker faces, but when it comes to you you can read the man like a book.

"Have you?" he follows up.

You shake your head. "Me neither."

Your reply seems to loosen some of the tension Yoongi was harboring, his body language becoming much more relaxed. Intertwining your hand with his, he inquires with a spark in his eyes, "Are you still on the pill?"

Giving him an affirmative answer, you interlock your fingers with his free hand as well. Your gesture changes the mood for good, his signature gummy smile making its return. You pull him closer until you're chest to chest. Sending him a light peck to the corner of his mouth, you curl your fingers around the edges of his shirt, peeling it off his torso.

He chuckles, raising his arms into the air in compliance. His hair ends up slightly disheveled once the clothing drags over his head. As you're smoothing it out for him, he asks, "Are you sure you're okay with this?"  

You give it another second of thought. It wouldn't be the first time you've done it without extra protection. You started birth control once things became serious between the two of you. Over the course of your relationship, you would stick to double protection mostly to stay on the safe side. Now that you're back here with him and your first time ever since is going to be raw, it puts so much more significance to the situation – but that's what you want. You want to be with him all the way.

"I'm okay with this," you assure him with another peck to his lips. "Are you?"

Nodding his head, he allows you to drag down his pants and underwear that still hang around his thighs, letting them pool around his ankles. You're about to crawl back onto the bed when he stops you midway.

"What?" You look at him from across your shoulder. "What's wrong?"

His arm wraps around your middle, turning you on your back. "I wanna look at you."

With bated breath you watch his eyes linger on your face, taking in every inch of it as if he's trying to paint a picture of you in his mind. God. If he's not going to do anything, you're going to have to eventually –

Cupping your chin, he then kisses you deeply while entering you slowly.

Your reaction is immediate, gasping against his mouth as he sheaths himself inside of you. Thank God. Finally.

The feeling is all too familiar though it still needs some time getting used to. He prepped you well at least, so it doesn't take too long until pleasure ultimately replaces the stinging sensation.

"Fuck," he curses as he moves at a moderate pace. "I missed you."

You hold onto his arms resting beside your head. "I missed you, too."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

It's like this flips a switch inside of him, his movements becoming more eager and carnal. He fills you up to the hilt, thrusting in and out of you with vigor. The silver pendant of his necklace swings back and forth wildly, grazing across your chest.

Your nails leave crescent shaped marks around his biceps. You're reduced to moans and curses. How long have you been hoping for this? Within those three months without him, you never considered a chance of getting back together – but you also haven't stopped thinking about the possibility of it. It seemed so farfetched due to all the circumstances. You had ruled it out immediately. But your fantasy always ran wild with the idea of it. And now your fantasy has become reality.

A particularly hard thrust has you practically screaming. You're quick to cover your mouth, your hand clasping it shut.

"Don't do that." Yoongi grabs ahold of it, holding it down above your head. "I wanna hear you." As if to test you, his hips rut into you faster and harder.

This ultimately does the trick, and you certainly don't disappoint as you let out lustful sounds loud and clear. Your focus should be on the here and now – in the arms of the man that you love so much. Nothing else and no one else should matter. "O-oh God, Yoongi!"

He sends you a satisfied grin as he sits up on his heels, his hips still snapping into yours. "Turn around."

With a mocking voice you tease him, "I thought you wanted to look at me."

"Yeah," he states nonchalantly, separating his sweaty bangs. "Now I wanna see the other side."

You let out an amused chuckle but abide alas, turning around on your side first before falling forward on your hands, your ass on full display for him.

"Perfect," he praises, caressing your cheeks with both hands. "You're doing great, baby."

Seconds pass before you feel his tip slide past your folds again. The stretch is different in this position, deeper and more thorough. You don't even notice yourself backing into him, your behind pressed flush to his pelvis.

"A little eager, aren't we?" One of his hands comes down to spank you, but before you even get a chance to complain he continues his onslaught, rolling his hips into your backside with deliciously slow yet harsh thrusts.

"Oh my God!" You lower yourself until your chest comes into contact with the mattress. "Yoongi…"

The telltale sound of skin slapping against skin echoes off the walls though they're not enough to drown out your sounds. As he gradually picks up his pace, your moans turn unstoppable. It's like an out-of-body experience – and judging by the noises coming from the man behind you he seems to be thoroughly enjoying himself as well.  

"Fuck, baby…" Yoongi's grip on your hips tightens. "You take me so well."

You desperately nod your head at no one in particular before burying it in between your folded forearms as you withstand his force. There's a burn you're trying to ignore that spreads along your thighs, but the longer you hold out the easier you lose posture until you collapse like a house of cards.

"Here." His hands guide you further up on the mattress until you're on your half of the bed. "Lay down."

You flop down onto your back like a brick, drawing a chuckle out of Yoongi.

As he positions himself beside you, he puts your legs together rolling you onto your side.  

"Oh..." You watch him with wondrous eyes as he settles down onto the space behind you. "This is new."

"Yeah." He grins while looping an arm around you, burying himself in your heat again. "Thought you needed a break."

At that, you chuckle lightly. "How thoughtful of you."

"Right?" With one sharp thrust, he hits you right in your g-spot. "Aren't I thoughtful?"

You moan out as he continuously pistons in and out of you, unable to answer in coherent sentences. "Mh-hm, so th-thoughtful."

His hand resting on your belly trails down to your thighs, spreading them ever so slightly so he can toy with your clit. The other squeezes through a crevice he creates between you and the bed to play with your tits.

When you think this is the highest of pleasure you can experience, he proves you wrong again. As his hips and hands move together in a perfect rhythm, he has the audacity to nip at your neck at the same time. His hard cock driving in and out of your pussy while he draws circles on your clit, pinches your nipple, and laves his tongue over your neck – this overstimulation sends you straight to the verge of another orgasm.

"Yoongi…" You twist your head around, resting it against his. "I'm gonna cum again."

"Okay." His features are contorted, one of the telltale signs of his own high incoming. "I'm about to cum, too."

Grabbing onto the hair on the back of his head, you press your lips together. The position proves itself as slightly awkward but is no obstacle to the heated kiss you're able to share.

Parting for a split second, Yoongi mumbles against your lips, "Should I pull out?"

You give it a moment of serious thought, shaking your head. As much as you loved when he used to finish somewhere on your body, you loved it the most when he finished inside. It always felt the most intimate, connecting the two of you on another level. "Cum inside me," you clarify, your walls already starting to flutter at the thought of it alone.

It's apparent the male is affected by your command, trying his hardest to send the two of you over the finish line. His eyes are shut, and his forehead crinkled into deep creases. "Baby," he huffs out with shallow breaths, "cum for me, please."

His plea along with his relentless ministrations seem to be the final straw for you, that long awaited orgasm exploding within you like a firework. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as you manage out a hoarse moan, involuntarily clamping your thighs shut while your legs twitch.

"O-oh fuck!" Yoongi also finds his release right away, emptying himself inside of you. "Shit!"

You barely register the profanities leaving his lips, but once he's reduced to mere whimpers you come back to reality. You always thought they were the sweetest sound in the world, such a contradiction to the strong and secure exterior of Min Yoongi.

The two of you lie there entangled with one another, catching your breaths. It could be a matter of a few minutes or maybe even an hour that you bask in the afterglow until Yoongi breaks the silence. "Come on," he murmurs, caressing your cheek. "We gotta clean up. Take off your make-up and all that."

You agree although with an annoyed grunt, slowly heaving your strained limbs from the bed one by one. There's a slight chill in the room now that your body has acclimated without the added body temperature from Yoongi and the physical exertion.

The touch of a fabric being draped across your shoulders causes you to jump a little. Inspecting the piece, you realize it's Yoongi's shirt from earlier. Thanking him, you slide it on as you stand up to your full height. Your legs are like jelly and there's the telltale ringing in your ears.

"Can you walk?" Yoongi inquires, coming to stand beside you. He’s back in his boxers, inspecting you with care.

Sending a timid nod of your head, you take a step but stumble over your own feet.

His arms reach out for you just in time to prevent the fall. "I went too hard on you. I'm sorry, darling."

"'s alright," you slur into the crook of his neck. "I liked it. A lot."

A smug grin finds its way onto his features. "Now come on," he chuckles. "Let's get you cleaned up."

You're more than thankful in this situation that Yoongi's room is one of the two in this household with an en-suite bathroom (the other belonging to Seokjin – being the eldest comes with benefits for sure) since your legs almost give out at any step despite leaning onto him while you walk.

After you take care of your situation down there, Yoongi runs a warm washcloth along the inside of your thighs for good measure. You thank him with your mouth agape, watching him in astonishment while you're propped up on the sink countertop for balance. It's beyond you how you could agree to the break-up so easily when he's always been so attentive to your needs, has always taken care of you without you even asking.

"There." He rises back to eye-level with you. "All good now."

You turn around to face the mirror, looking around for the things you need to in order to wash up. "Do you have a spare toothbrush?" you ask.

The man takes a second to process your request before his hand curls around the handle of one of the upper drawers. "I actually..." He hesitates. "I've got a few things you could use."

When he opens the drawer, your breath hitches in your throat. "I forgot I left these here," you murmur, inspecting the items revealed to you.

"Yeah..." Yoongi scratches the back of his head. "When you said you didn't need them, I tried throwing them away, but... I just couldn't."

You fairly remember the scene, storming out of the house after that talk, and when Yoongi told you he still had stuff of yours when you came over to drop off his you answered in anger 'Keep it or throw it out'.

With a trembling hand, you reach for the pink headband next to the rest of your skincare products. You don't want it to happen, but tears spring up in your eyes. Trying to keep them at bay, you throw your head into your neck, but to no avail. The first tears roll down your cheeks, so you turn away from Yoongi in shame, letting them fall freely.

"Hey," Yoongi coos, his hands coming up to rub soothing circles into your arms. "It's okay, honey. It's in the past now."

You feel so endlessly guilty of how things have turned out. All you want is for it to work out with him.

He continues consoling you, "We're gonna do better this time. But we have to be honest with each other." One of his hands slide down to intertwine with yours. "So no more of that hiding shit."

You let him spin you around in your spot. Looking up at him through blurry vision, you wrap your arms around his neck. "I want this to work out, Yoongi," you croak out choked up on tears. "I really want this to work out."

"It's gonna work out," he assures you, his arms around you as tight and secure as ever. "We're gonna make it work."

As you pull apart, he swipes his thumb over the last of the remaining tears on your cheek before placing a chaste kiss on it. The gesture draws a smile back onto your face, soothing your haywire state.

It's so domestic how you stand next to each other now brushing your teeth and doing your skincare routines, pulling silly faces at one another through the mirror – and before you know it you're racing him back to the bed, drifting off into peaceful slumber with his chest pressed to your back.

Sunlight peeks through the blinds as you blink your eyes open. You're sore all over, the memory of last night hitting you like a bat over the head though it draws a smile on your lips – especially since his arm is still draped over your middle.

Carefully rolling over onto your side, you're met with a half-asleep Yoongi, his eyelids still heavy as he peers at you.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" you whisper, your smile widening at his cute face.

He shakes his head, burying his face into the pillow. "Mh-mh." His voice comes out muffled, thick with sleepiness. "I woke up a minute ago or so."

You place your hand on his cheek at which he turns his head again. Rubbing your thumb across his soft skin, you shuffle closer to peck him on the lips.

He seems slightly more awake after that, chasing after your lips for another.

You still can't believe this is how you ended up. All the trials and tribulations brought you back together in the end. A huge thank you is due to be said to Jimin.

Yoongi props himself up, looking around the room in search of something. Once his eyes land on the bedside table next to you, he speaks up, "Pass me my phone, please?"

You hum out in affirmation, bending over to the side to retrieve the device.

He settles back down on the bed when you hand it to him, welcoming you with open arms as you cuddle up to him. Tapping on the screen, he unlocks the phone to a plethora of messages. He opens the most recent chat with Jimin.

You're not one to sneak a peek, but it's hard not to when it's right in front of your face. When you read the last message, heat creeps up into your cheeks.

from Jimin [12:04 AM]

i'm glad you guys managed to "talk things out" 😉

"Oh God." You hide your face in the crook of his neck. "They know."

"Of course they know," Yoongi replies with a chuckle. "We were gone for the rest of the night." He types out a quick reply before tossing the phone onto the space beside him. "On top of that, we weren't exactly quiet," he jokes, wrapping his arms around you pulling you flush to his chest.

You linger in embarrassment for a little longer until you can't help but laugh along with him.

A soft knock on the door ends your chatter early to which Yoongi answers with a chipper 'Come in'.

The door cracks open ever so slightly, the chestnut-brown of Seokjin's mop of hair coming into sight. "Everybody decent?" he questions before correcting himself. "Well, you wouldn't have told me to come in if not." Swinging the door open wider until he's more than a floating head without a body, he adds, "Uh... Breakfast's ready."

"Alright, thanks," the younger male responds. "We'll be down in a bit."

"So you guys are good again?" The corners of Seokjin's mouth tug upward as if he doesn't know the answer already.

Yoongi sends him an assuring smile. "Yeah, we're good."

"Good, good. That's a relief." It looks like he's on his way out before he adds with a teasing grin, "Otherwise I would've had no other choice but to ask for your hand in marriage, _____, because that kiss last night was something else. Like wow–"

A loud thud sounds as Yoongi throws his pillow at the older male with full force. Seokjin's fast reflexes save him though as it knocks against the closing door instead.

You shake your head at the eldest’s shenanigans.

"Say…" Yoongi starts again, acting as if what just happened a second ago didn’t. "I’m gonna have to go on some trips starting next month."

Your ears perk up at that.

"I know I can’t take you with me on all of them, and I’m not gonna force you, but…" He studies you with careful eyes. "Do you think we can make something work? Like you keep me company for at least one of them?"

Tracing shapes across the smoothness of his chest, you answer, "It’s a little short notice, but I’ll talk to my manager first thing Monday morning."

He cracks a crooked smile. "If not, we’ll figure something out."

"We’ll figure something out," you repeat as an assurance to him but also yourself. "What’s important is we both gotta be comfortable with what we’re doing and be patient with the process. Chances are things aren’t gonna run smoothly right away."

His smile grows wider at your addition. "Yeah, exactly.” Pulling you closer to his chest, Yoongi says the next sentence with an underlying tone of regret. "I hope you know it’s not your fault."

Your fingers curl tighter around his figure.

"I was just as guilty myself, I made just as many mistakes." Tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, he trails, "So please, don’t put all the blame on yourself."

Last night you would’ve cried in an instant, but you’re in a much better state this morning. Now you know you both have things to improve in order to move the relationship forward.

Lifting your head off his chest, you nod at him with a small smile. "Thank you for letting me know. And the same goes for you as well."

He reciprocates your smile before pulling you down towards him, pressing your lips together. "I love you," he repeats the words from last night.

Your heart flutters in your chest. "I love you, too." You resume the kiss, your hands roaming around his naked torso. "Do you think breakfast can wait? I feel like"–slinging one leg over to the other side, you straddle him–"I was kinda lazy last night."

At that, he gives you an all-knowing grin and the rest is history.

#bts fanfic #yoongi fanfic #bts smut #yoongi smut #bts angst #yoongi angst #bts fluff #yoongi fluff #bts scenario #yoongi scenario #bts imagine #yoongi imagine #bts oneshot #yoongi oneshot #bts au #yoongi au #bts x reader #yoongi x reader #bts x yn #yoongi x yn #min yoongi #bts #f: with you all the way

[russosafehaven]

The Stars Amongst the Darkness

Pairing: The Darkling x Fem!Reader

Content: Star Summoner!Reader, Jealous!Reader, Established Relationship

POV: Second

~

They say stars are dead when we see them. That when they shine brightly amongst the velvet background of the night sky they are mere burning corpses. The only star that still lives is the sun. All others burnt out many moons ago. We see their carcasses lighting up the darkness of midnight and we use them to guide us. The dead are always the wisest for they’ve lived before us and we can learn from their mistakes.

When Alina first arrived at Little Palace you noticed how Aleksander looked at her. Like she was the sun and in many ways she was. Through her veins she could call the living star to her finger tips and light up the world. The young girl shined much brighter than you did and you envied her. Envied the way Aleksander looked at her light, the same way he once look at your light.

While training with Zoya you saw Alina watching you. Anger ran through your veins, she never did combat training so why was she here. You let your emotions get the best of you and ended up burning your sparring partner. Luckily there was a healer on standby. She didn’t blame you, Zoya would’ve acted the same way if her lover payed more attention to someone else.

Grabbing your kefta you pulled it over you. It was black with silver and gold embroidery. Tiny specks of blue throughout. Representative of your stars and your etherealki abilities. Alina tried to stop you but you shoved past her, not wanting to give the Sun Summoner any mind.

With tall strides you made your way to your chambers. The ones you stayed in long before your relationship with the General. They were untouched by time, the only difference the layer of dust over your belongings. Many books about the stars and constellations. Ideas you had been toying with months ago. The idea of summoning the saints constellations to see if you could perhaps mimic their powers. It was long forgotten when you left your chambers to move in with the General.

It was only when a knock rung out from your door were you pulled out of your notebook. Pulling away from the dreams you once had. Walking to your door you couldn’t even touch the handle before it swung open. Revealing a rather angry Aleksander.

“You said after your training with Zoya you’d be back in our bedroom”

It was a statement and every word was dripping with venom. Scoffing you walked back over to your desk, looking through the sketches you once enjoyed to do. Being with Aleksander you had become more focused on fighting. Neglecting your passions of experimenting and drawing.

“I wanted to return to my old chambers, remember who I was before your shadows consumed me”

Voice quiet to prevent it from breaking, you couldn’t stand to look at him. Fearing the way he was in this position. Aleksander had always towered over you. As you shrank into yourself he seemed even larger.

“My shadows consumed you?! How ridiculous do you have to be to believe that?”

His words were laced in disgust. How could you, his northern star, believe that about yourself? Aleksander took a step towards you and when you responded by retreating from him you could’ve sworn he looked sad.

“Ever since you found the Sun Summoner it has all been about her. I understand, she shines brighter than me and Alina is far prettier than I. She fits into your plan, she is your equal. I was just a replacement until you got the real thing…”

You were crying, tears decorating your cheeks like sapphires. Lighting up the curve of your skin as the candles danced in the corner.

“Are you so naive that you actually think that? Nothing and no one can compare to you milaya… you are my everything. My stars and my moon…”

He took you in his arms, holding you firmly and refusing to loosen his grip. No matter how much you fought against him Aleksander wouldn’t lose you. He wouldn’t lose anyone again.

“Alina is a means to an end, you are my equal. Much more than she. The girl can barely fight, she doesn’t put effort in. Since the moment you were brought here I’ve heard many words about your diligence. Alina could never match up to you, she’s nothing compared to you malyshka”

Every word he spoke you believed. The cadence of his voice made you feel loved.

“I promise you I will do better to focus on you, to spend more time with you my little one. Just come back to our room”

You smiled, not his room as it was yours too. Our room, you thought happily. Aleksander would be your endgame and you would forever be his. The Starless One and his Starry Night.

#darkling x reader #aleksander morozova x reader #ben barnes #the darkling x reader #general kirigan x reader #kirigan x reader

[euphoniumpets]

THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM | CHAPTER SIX

Prompt: ''As long as I can rememer, I've been protecting Alina, it's always Alina who I will protect,'' You told him, looking at Nikolai. ''But who will protect you?''

Warnings: Violence, blood and gore.

Please don’t plagiarize my work - I spend a lot of my time writing, copying and pasting destroys that. 

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x Starkov! Reader

Taglist: @lyria-skyfall@khaleesihavilliard@shine101 @waddlingwanderer @clqudias @ducks118 @xceafh@peakyispunk @wilmasvensson @parbatai-winchester @priincehoseok@riot-in-my-soulsoul @feyredarling92 @vendy021 @ssprayberrythings @goldenpoison @shine101@lili-of-the-dream @xushisuxi @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy@jennylil@themermaidscales82

Tag list are closed!

A/N: the plot thickens y'all and this is a long chapter so be prepared! also, two chapters in a week who am i? i couldn't help myself but to publish this chapter lmao

old masterlist | navi | new masterlist

prologue - one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten - eleven - epilogue

‘’Alina!’’

You screamed at the top of your lungs while you tried to run after the carriage. You heard Mal’s voice next to you as both of you tried to get to her. ‘’Alina,’’ You whispered when you couldn’t run anymore. It was no use running anymore, and your hope was gone when you saw her being dragged away by the other Grisha. 

You couldn’t believe your own eyes when you saw that your sister was a Sun Summoner, from the moment you got into the Fold and then when one of the Volcra grabbed her, you saw a searing burst of light appear. You couldn’t believe it yourself when you saw the light from General Kirigian’s tent appear after you had woken up. 

You didn’t know where Mal went next after that. You walked around the camp to try and find him to explain that you both needed to get Alina. You weren’t going to let go of your sister that easily, and you know that Mal wasn’t either. 

The next days at the camp, all of you gathered as the captain delivered the letters to them from their loved ones. You hoped that Alina had the time to write letters to you and Mal after she got taken to Os Alta. However, you looked at your captain with disappointment when he didn’t call your name. ‘’You know, she’s probably busy,’’ You replied when you noticed Mal’s expression and tried to ignore Mikhael and Dubrov’s conversation next to you. 

Mal didn’t answer, and you sighed knowing that he was sad that Alina didn’t even write back to you. ‘’Pathfinders, a new open assignment has come down from Os Alta,’’ Bohdan informed, and you snapped your head to him with a curious expression. ‘’Every unit north of Chernast is tasked with volunteering a tracking party, General Kirigian is offering a visit to the Little Palace for the one who can find Morozova’s stag,’’ 

You and Mal met each other’s gazes at the information. You two knew one thing, Alina. If you two volunteered you could be with Alina at the little palace. You went back for the drawing in Bohdan’s hands when you heard the people chuckle. You knew the stories and the tales about the stag being a myth, but if your sister is the sun summoner, you didn’t know what to believe anymore. 

You narrowed your eyes at the drawing and you knew the drawing was coming from Alina. She was a gifted drawing from what you’d seen. ‘’That’s right, the ancient, mythical creature,’’ Bodhan spoke. ‘’Except in the flesh, if you please,’’ He replied and scrolled up the roll. ‘’So, volunteers?’’ You looked at your team and heard they were all chuckling with disbelief. ‘’The black general has finally lost it,’’ You heard Dubrov speak with disbelief. 

‘’Wasting our soldiers on Second Army nonsense, now they have a sun summoner, all the old folk tales are back on the table,’’ Bodhan spoke and you felt some of the gazes on you. You and Mal gave each other a look before you two raised your hands. ‘’We’ll do it,’’ You spoke with confidence in your voice. ‘’We’ll go,’’ Mal added. 

-

Finding the stag was tricky in the cold as you four kept walking in the forest. ‘’What’s that in your hand?’’ You heard Mikhael ask from behind. You sighed and shook your head towards your friends. Sometimes, you found it hard to believe that the two of them was your friends. ‘’Nothing,’’ Dubrov answered. ‘’Did you pick up the stag shit, Dubrov?’’ Mikhael questioned. ‘’In case we don’t find the actual stag,’’ You saw Mal bent down on the ground. ‘’You found anything?’’ You asked him. ‘’We’re close,’’ You heard him reply and you nodded. ‘’This way,’’ Mal spoke as you followed after. 

Several days had gone and you slowly began to lose hope to find the stag but you tried to believe in Mal. You had a strange gut feeling that you were close than ever and that you couldn’t describe. You missed Alina, you couldn’t remember how long it was that you two had been keeping apart for so long. Sure, the two of you were separated before you’d been assigned to the first army but you still kept in touch. And now when she didn’t answer your letters or even returned them, it felt strange. 

The wind slapped against your face and you shivered but you kept walking forward. ‘’What’s worse? The frost or the Fold?’’ You heard Dubrov's question. ‘’The Fold,’’ You all answered. Mal stopped in his tracks for a moment before facing you as he wrapped another scarf. ‘’I’m fine,’’ You uttered as he gave you a look in response. ‘’You’re shivering, what would Alina say when she got to know that you died in the frost?’’ Mal questioned. 

‘’Well, she would kill me and then you and then me again,’’ You remarked as you heard him chuckle before you walked again. You sighed with exhaustion and stopped when you heard Mikhael’s voice. ‘’We’re crossing into Fjerdan territory,’’ He shouted through the stormy winds. You all turned back to him as you saw the mark on the tree. ‘’No,’’ You heard Dubrov reply and you looked at him with confusion. ‘’Ash trees are sacred, they won’t mark them,’’ Mikhael explained. ‘’Are you sure the herd went that way?’’ Dubrov asked Mal hesitantly. 

‘’Last chance to turn around,’’ Mal responded. ‘’And have you two split the prize? Keep up!’’ Mikhael said with a grin and walked before you. You and Mal gave each other a look before following after them. 

-

Night had fallen, and you kept shivering in the tent next to Mal. You couldn’t sleep, and Mal had drifted off when he told you that he was going on the first watch. You saw his eyelids fluttering shut, and you smiled softly at him. You twisted and turned, and with a frustrating sigh, you gave up trying to fall asleep in the cold. You pulled your blanket off your body and put on your clothes before walking out in the cold silence. 

You took a deep breath when you felt the cold on your face as you gripped your rifle tightly before looking at your surroundings. Suddenly, you felt a strange feeling on the tip of your stomach. You didn’t know why, but you heard a noise from deeper inside the woods, and you spared a final glance at the tent before following the sound. 

‘’Y/N? What is it?’’ You heard Mikhael whisper as he held the lamp in his hand. You snapped your head around and saw a Fjerdan choking Mikhael in the darkness. You pointed your rifle, and before you were about to shoot, you realized that your gun wasn’t loaded. ‘’Shit,’’ You cursed with panic and dropped the rifle before sprinting toward Mikhael and the Fjerdan. You threw a punch and saw him fall unconscious. You let out a yelp with surprise when another one came from nowhere and with your quick reflexes you dodged the bullet and grabbed his rifle before throwing him a punch. 

You dodged his punches and you heard a gunshot in the air firing at the Fjerdan as you saw Dubrov not far away with his rifle. You grunted when another Fjerdan tackled you down on the ground. ‘’Y/N!’’ You heard Mal exclaim before he tackled the Fjerdan away from you. You gasped and saw Fjerdan grab his knife while Mal tried to dodge his attacks. You looked around at your surroundings before grabbing a stick and swinging it against his head. 

The Fjerdan fell over to Mal’s side unconscious. ‘’Y/N, Mal, Help!’’ You heard Dubrov’s call. You grabbed the rifle that you knocked on one of the Fjerdans and began to run to Dubrov. However, you felt rope attaching to your feet, making you stumble and fall on the ground with a grunt. You looked around and saw Mal was on the ground as well as he tried to cut the rope off with his knife before tossing it to you. 

You grabbed the knife quickly before cutting the ropes off and you heard a gunshot coming off. You grabbed your rifle and saw Mikhael shoot the Fjerdan’s head off. ‘’Is that all of them?’’ You asked him as you all gathered together in a circle and looked at your surroundings. You gripped your rifle tightly and you saw Mal taking steps forward and the next thing you knew, you saw bullets, and Mal falling to the ground. 

-

You fell on the ground as you felt blood coming from your mouth as one of the Fjerdans punched you. You grunted and groaned in pain when you felt him knock you down to the ground. You whimpered in pain as your eyes were glossy when you saw Mal lying on the ground and he didn’t move at all. You begged the saints that he was alive and you tried to fight to keep yourself alive. You let out a sob when you saw one of the Fjerdans pierce a sword into Mikhael’s stomach and you closed your eyes in pain when you heard his scream. 

‘’She’s a stubborn one,’’ You heard one of them comment as he kicked you, making you grunt. ‘’Make sure the other one is dead and kill her quickly,’’ One of them spoke. You felt someone grab you and you tried to fight him off but you were too weak. You let out a scream and before you knew it you heard a gunshot. 

You gasped when you felt the Fjerdan release you and drop to the ground. You turned to your side and saw Mal moving. ‘’Mal,’’ You spoke, your voice weak as he walked towards you with wobbly steps. ‘’I got you, I got you,’’ He replied as he held you. ‘’They’re gone,’’ You sobbed. 

‘’They’re gone,’’ You cried in his arms as Mal looked at his dead friends on the ground. ‘’It’s okay, we’re okay,’’ Mal spoke, trying to keep it together but both of you knew the price of looking for the stag. You and Mal didn’t move for a while before Mal said your name. ‘’Y/N,’’ He spoke. ‘’Look,’’ Mal replied. You turned your head slowly and then you heard the faint noise approaching you. 

You and Mal didn’t get up from the ground and you didn’t let go of his embrace as you widened your eyes when you saw the stag approaching you closer. You gasped when you saw its beauty and when you met the stag’s eyes, you could see the look of understanding and when you looked into its eyes, you could see your reflection. 

-

You and Mal returned to the camp several days later and you still mourned for your friends. You explained to Bohdan that you found the stag and the next thing you knew, you were on your way to the little palace. Your heart began to fill with hope and you were excited to see Alina again. You and Mal waited in the room and you looked at your surroundings as soon as you arrived at the palace. You found it magnificent and you couldn’t help but look and touch everything. 

‘’Y/N, put it down,’’ Mal warned you and you rolled your eyes and put the thing down at the table. 

‘’These are the two who claim they found the stag?’’ The door opened and you turned around, meeting General Kirigian. ‘’Well, technically, he did,’’ You corrected him and ignored Mal’s expression on you. You met Kirigian’s eyes and you saw that he had an unreadable expression when he met your eyes. 

‘’And you are?’’ He asked and narrowed his eyes. ‘’Malyen Oretsev,’’ Mal spoke. ‘’Y/N Starkov,’’ You replied as General Kirigian looked at you with interest. ‘’Starkov? You’re Alina’s sister, aren’t you?’’ He questioned and you nodded. ‘’Yes,’’ You replied. ‘’You’ve heard of me?’’ You questioned hesitantly. ‘’Yes, she speaks highly of you,’’  

‘’And you must be Mal, then,’’ General Kirigian spoke and looked at Mal with a smile. ‘’What a surprise,’’ He spoke. ‘’Leave us,’’ General Kirigian spoke as the others in the room left. ‘’So, there is a lot of deer in the wild,’’ He said and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. ‘’How do you know you found the right stag?’’ He asked. Mal pulled the drawing from his pocket and showed him the same drawing that Bohdan had and placed it on the table. ‘’It was this one,’’

‘’You’re certain?’’ He asked. ‘’Positive,’’ You remarked. ‘’Twice as big as any other, all white,’’ Mal responded. ‘’When it looked at me head on, its antlers, they…’’ You trailed off, trying to find the words. ‘’What?’’ He asked with curiosity. ‘’I think I saw that,’’ You said and pointed at the strange drawing on the book. ‘’Was it alone? With a herd?’’ 

‘’It had traveled with a small herd, but when I encountered it, it was alone,’’ Mal responded. ‘’Grazing,’’ You added as Mal nodded in agreement. ‘’Show me where,’’ General Kirigian spoke as he took a map and placed it on the table. ‘’North of Chernast,’’ Mal spoke.

‘’No, precisely, mark it for me,’’ General Kirigian spoke, making you and Mal look at each other before looking at him. ‘’Not until we see Alina,’’ You spoke. ‘’I beg your pardon?’’

‘’We know her, I am her sister and Mal’s her friend,’’ You told him sternly. ‘’You let us see her, we’ll tell you where the Stag is,’’ You said and tried to negotiate with him. ‘’Do you how many claims to know the Sun Summoner?’’ He asked. ‘’I am her sister,’’ You responded. ‘’And how many claims to be her sister?’’ General Kirigian asked. ‘’Try to get a meeting with her just to be in her presence?’’

‘’Ask her about us,’’ Mal told him. ‘’Tell me something that only a few about her would know,’’ General said. ‘’Something, personal,’’

‘’Like what?’’ You asked and narrowed your eyes in confusion. ‘’Like, what’s her favorite flower?’’ He asked. ‘’Or what kind of books-’’

‘’Iris,’’ Mal interrupted. ‘’The blue ones, not the white,’’ You added. ‘’Alright, I’ll have you two shown a room here,’’ Kirigian spoke. ‘’And, assuming that she proves you right, I’ll bring her to you two later,’’ 

‘’Fair?’’

-

Baghra was an odd woman. You’d had to take her that. From the moment you met her to see Alina’s powers and her training, she had spoken nonsense. Mal and Alina argued with each other after you received the news of the stag and he decided to leave instead of staying there with the two of you. You tried to get some sense in him, but he was too stubborn, and you wouldn’t leave her again. 

So, you stayed with her, watching her train with the other Grisha and exploring the palace. You couldn’t help but worry about Mal at the same time but you knew that he could take care of himself. While you explored the little palace, you and the General had become close friends too. You didn’t trust him at first, but after proving himself the two of you became friends. 

Alina had left you and Baghra alone after her training and you didn’t understand why at first after she began to tell you the tales of the amplifiers. ‘’What’s the point of this lesson?’’ You asked her as you felt her whack you with the stick. ‘’Ow!’’ You exclaimed and rubbed at your arm in comfort. 

‘’To know who exactly you are, and where you came from,’’ You looked at her. ‘’I’ve already told you, I’m nothing more than Alina’s sister and a fighter,’’ You responded. ‘’You told me by yourself, ever since you found the Stag, you felt something, didn’t you?’’ Baghra questioned and faced you. 

‘’You could’ve told Aleksander that, but you didn’t,’’ Baghra replied. ‘’I didn’t trust him,’’ You said. ‘’And do you trust him now?’’ Baghra asked and looked at you carefully and you didn’t say anything. Do you trust him? After he showed you kindness and the weakest point of him, just like he did with Alina. A part of you, perhaps always knew that you shouldn’t trust him.  ‘’There’s a reason why you felt the Stag, Y/N,’’ Baghra revealed. 

‘’You’re the Firebird,’’ 

‘’But I thought the Firebird was a creature? And not a human,’’ You replied with confusion. ‘’You are a descendant of the Firebird and there’s a reason why you’ve always felt why you need to protect Alina,’’ Baghra informed. ‘’You are her protector, Y/N, and this is why the reason I’m telling you because she’s in danger and you’re the only one who can protect her,’’ 

‘’Who else knows?’’ You asked. ‘’Only me, but listen closely, hide your secret, don’t tell anyone until when the time is right,’’

-

‘’Protect her, Y/N,’’ 

Those were the last words from Baghra after she helped you and Alina escape from Aleksander. You were terrified that day; heartbroken when Aleksander showed himself who he was. You kept your secret from Alina and Mal even though it hurt you and when they mentioned finding the Firebird, you knew that you needed to expose your secret. You knew the day was about to come and you didn’t think of your death that often. But you thought it was time since your time was running out. 

Your mind went back to Nikolai and you felt your heart crack at the thought of him. You knew that Nikolai deserved someone better than you. He deserved someone to love him and you wished that you could be that person.

After debating the proposal he had given you earlier, you found yourself walking through the corridors and to his door. You didn’t think before you found yourself standing in front of his door and knocked. As his door opened, you looked at him with a surprised expression since you didn’t expect to see him half-naked with his robes open. Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment when your eyes trailed slightly down at his stomach and you saw in the corner of your eyes that he smirked. 

‘’Are you here to consider the offer of going into my bed, Starkov?’’ Nikolai teased when he saw the flushed cheeks. You shook your head and tried to snap out of the thought of him naked in your mind. ‘’I’m here about the proposal,’’ You replied and looked at him seriously. 

‘’Yes?’’

‘’I agree, but only under one condition,’’ You suggested. You looked at him for approval as he nodded. ‘’Go on,’’ Nikolai replied and narrowed his eyes. ‘’I will accept the proposal, but whatever I do base on my actions, you, Mal, and Alina cannot interfere,’’ 

Nikolai stood there with a stunned expression. ‘’You know I can’t do that,’’ Nikolai replied before continuing. ‘’I know, but please promise me, whatever I do, you cannot interfere or stop me,’’ You begged him. 

‘’I promise,’’ 

‘’You do?’’ 

‘’I do,’’

-

please comment down below what you'd thought of this chapter and remember reblogging always helps!

#nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #alina starkov #aleksander kirigan x reader #malyen oretsev #inej gafha #jesper fahey #six of crows #nina zenik #matthias helvar #wylan van eck #kaz brekker

[aleksanderscult]

My unpopular opinion for today? The Darkling was terrible at manipulating people

And that mostly comes from the author's incompetence on the matter.

Back in 2016-2017 on Tumblr she was asked which SoC character finds difficult to write and she replied "Kaz. Because he's clever and cunning".

So for her, writing manipulative characters is difficult and actually explains the reason why the Darkling's "efforts" seemed comedic in S&B.

I still remember how posts from 2020-2021 expressed bafflement about where did the Darkling actually manipulated Alina in S&B.

His first, full conversation with her? He lied to her three times and tried to figure her out. What her views are, what does she know about him, has her judgement been clouded by other people's opinions of him, how she feels about her supposed destiny. Apparently she failed in each one of them and the Darkling decided to withhold information since he didn't find her trustworthy. It was too early and she was too immature.

I've written about this scene here but I MUST put this reblog here as well because it's ✨gold✨

So for anyone who believes he should tell her the truth from the very beginning uhh....have you ever been to a job with a hierarchy?

(You can also read a very good meta about their first conversation here from @theweeklydiscourse)

His additional conversations with her? They lasted only ten minutes (maximum) and he mostly tried to soothe her fears and assure her that since she'll have the Stag she won't have to worry about the strength of her power. So, me, the reader, am I supposed to think "That walk that he took with her and lasted for five minutes was so suspicious"?. Ahh...ok.

That first kiss? Boy wasn't it awkward.

It was like I watched two high school kids being kissed for the first time💀

I'm sorry but if that was manipulating then he didn't succeed at making the reader say "Now that seems shady" but wonder "What the fuck was that?". The same thing Alina wondered apparently.

If he wanted to manipulate Alina, why didn't he stay longer with her? Why didn't he spend more time with her? The guy was missing for days from the Little Palace doing his duties and even Alina said that she didn't see him much. So where was the manipulation?

To the first, awkward kiss where he lost control for the first time?

To their Winter fete make out where he almost lost his pants?

(Homeboy couldn't even control his own feelings apparently)

Leigh describes him as "manipulative" but we have no context.

So basically it's like "Source? Trust me bro".

We only have a couple of characters accuse him of manipulation but no scenes to base the argument.

His attempts, in comparison to other truly manipulating characters in fiction (like Varys, Tom Riddle, Petyr Baelish, Tyrion Lannister, the Joker), seem honestly pathetic.

When the author doesn't know how to write such things then her "manipulative" characters and their attempts seem cartoonish, cringe and childish. There's no real danger to make the reader feel like there's something wrong. His scenes with her in the Little Palace only included attempts from his part to calm down her worries and their kisses only made the reader say "Oh he fell for her!" (Which is kind of funny because this is exactly what happened).

The only instance where he was manipulative and good at it was at the orphanage scene where he lied about the Grisha children and his plans with them in order to draw Alina out.

Besides that? Nada.

And it's actually strange to me when people call him "so manipulating" and it makes me think "Have you truly not read other manipulative characters from other authors to compare?"

Because, personally, I have and the Darkling seems like an idiot in comparison.

And this is not me trying to water down the Darkling but say how Leigh Bardugo is so incompetent in writing manipulative characters and try to present him as a "master" of it.

Because he was not.

(P.S. the fact that Leigh once said "I don't want my bad guys to carry a label saying "I'm evil" because I think the real bad guys are much more tactful in their attempts" is actually laughable considering how she gave her bad guy a label when she called him "the Darkling", gave him black clothes and a fearful reputation from the very first chapter. That man really didn't stand a chance from the beginning lmao)

#the darkling #if you're an author and don't know how to write manipulative characters then don't create them in the first place #otherwise the result will seem ridiculous and that character will look like a clown #pro darkling #aleksander morozova #pro aleksander morozova #leigh bardugo #alina starkov #shadow and bone #grishaverse #grishaverse trilogy

[www-librarytearoom-com]

I wish to establish something within my rewrite, and that is the issues with Levin and Malachi. In my rewrite, Aphmau was ever the doting parent. She was 100% present in her childrens' lives and when she was out on her adventures, which were less common than they are in canon, she had a communication amulet linked to them, so she was sure to read their bedtime stories to them every night and whenever they missed her they were able to call her and speak to her.

As much as I think she was a great parent to Lillith and Alina, in canon she wasn't very present for Levin and Malachi and that's something I wish to change. Yes, being a Lord is hard but my version of Aphmau had her priorities in line. Hell, she even involved her kids in her duties. They went on their rounds with her, I have the imagery in my head of her and Zoey each walking through the village, holding hands with Levin and Malachi between them.

I also imagine that Aphmau was ever the paranoid parent, especially after the entire Zane fiasco. She wanted to make sure that her children always had a part of her with them, so she used whatever resource she had to make sure of that. She enchanted two necklaces, whenever they held it in their hands, their favourite bedtime story would replay with her voice, ending with her telling them how much she loved them. Levin and Malachi never saw much use for it until the battle of Phoenix Drop, and they clung to their mother's memory. She also had Laurance draw as many pictures of her with her children as he could navigate time for, and they had an entire collage of them on their wall. Aphmau also had a locket which she kept a picture of them in as well.

When Aphmau returned to Phoenix Drop, she could easily say she was absolutely heartbroken at the entire idea that she had missed out on the childhood of her children. In fact, she completely closed in on herself for quite a while as she tried to process the fact that 15 years had gone by for her children without their mother. As grateful as she was to Zoey for taking care of them, the heartbreak was still there.

Levin and Malachi didn't know what to do, it felt like they had their mother back after so long but they didn't expect her to be so heartbroken when they were so happy.

#writing #mcd garroth #levin mcd #aphmau mcd #mcd #aphmau #aphverse #minecraft roleplay #minecraft diaries #aphmau malachi #aphmau zoey #mcd rewrite

[chai-penguin]

I think this is my favourite way to draw harrow now

#alina tries to draw #harrowhark nonagesimus #tlt #tlt fanart #the locked tomb

[marvelmusing]

Bad Influence

Here’s a random modern!darklina x fem!reader smutty fic idea and drabble which I’m blaming @becauseicantthinkwritings for (you wanted to hear my ideas so here’s one of my favourites)

Warnings [18+]: dom!aleksander, brat!alina, good girl!reader, daddy kink, spanking, fingering, praise kink, mild degradation, smidge of pain kink, dodgy power dynamics if you think really hard amount it

Imagine:

Personal assistant!reader who works for CEO!Aleksander. One day he asks you to help his wife with some clothes shopping. Alina is gorgeous and you spend the whole day staring at her while she shows you different outfits. Sometimes she asks you to help with buttons and zips, and you’re dying to touch her. Then you stop at a lingerie shop, and she coaxes you into joining her as she tries on pieces. She touches and teases you whilst pretending to admire the fabric of whatever piece you’re wearing and it’s driving you insane. Then she takes some photos of the two of you, wearing the lingerie, in a few different poses. She sends them to Aleksander whilst he’s at work, prompting him into ringing his driver to take him to pick the two of you up.

Maybe he spanks you on the car ride home.

“I thought you were a good girl, milaya.” He says as you squirm on his lap.

Your skirt is bunched up over your hips, panties hanging around your ankles as you kick your feet slightly to distract yourself from his hand as it lands against your backside once again.

“I thought you might be able to keep my Alina in line.”

Another smack and you whimper. His wedding ring stings delightfully as it meets your skin.

“I thought you might be a good influence for her. But it turns out you’re a needy little slut just like her, aren’t you?”

“No.” You whine petulantly.

Aleksander breathes out a sharp laugh, the corner of his mouth quirking into a dark smirk.

“No?”

His long fingers trace through your soaked and sticky folds, drawing a loud whine from you.

“Tell me what this is then.” Aleksander says, holding his wet fingers in front of your face, and your entire body feels as though it’s on fire. “Because only needy little sluts get wet when daddy spanks them.”

Tears well in your eyes, and you know he expects an answer - the right answer. The soft cheeks of your ass are already sore, your nipples are painfully hard, and your whole body is flushed with embarrassment.

You settle on the demeaning truth, hiding your face as you admit,

“I’m wet, daddy.”

“Clever girl.” He coos, petting your back as he continues to humiliate you. “And why is that?”

Another whimper, and your face burns.

“Because I’m a needy little slut.”

He hums, circling the pad of his finger over your dripping cunt.

“Good girl.” His praise has you keening, a hopeful little sound blooming from the back of your throat, and he smiles indulgently down at you. “Yes milaya, you’re still my good girl.”

His gaze slides over to where Alina is sitting across from you, eyes wide and lips puckered into a pout. Aleksander knows she’s soaking through her panties at the sight of you being punished.

“Alina is a little brat.” He says pointedly, his eyes never leaving hers as he continues to pet your dripping entrance. “But you’re my good girl, and I know the only way to tempt you into misbehaving like that would be if she got you so needy you stopped thinking.”

His degrading words are partially to urge you further into that needy submissive headspace, and partially to rile up Alina, knowing that she isn’t allowed to touch herself. She shifts in her seat, her brows furrowed with need as Aleksander continues talking to you.

“Because we all know that silly little head of yours soon starts leaking out of your cunt when you get needy.”

You nod blindly in agreement.

Aleksander is truly magnificent when he’s stern, but you hate the idea of being in trouble or disappointing him. So when Alina misbehaves, a fire burns deep in your core, and right now, as Aleksander assures you that you’re his good girl as a means to scold Alina, your arousal is a raging inferno.

He slides a finger inside you, to the very last knuckle, and Alina whines louder than you do.

Aleksander smirks.

He loves when she’s a bad influence on you.

#modern!darklina x reader #darklina x reader #aleksander morozova x reader x alina starkov #darklina x reader smut #aleksander morozova x reader #alina starkov x reader

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

your takes are interesting bc i always read it as his desire being fake and pure manipulation.

That’s totally fair! I think manipulation plays in strongly, of course, but I think that’s not mutually exclusive from the Darkling being genuinely into her.

I feel like the narrative draws a distinct line between when he’s completely playing a part and when the desire is more genuine and I think the latter is characterized by some bitterness, definitely cruelty, and sometimes an undercurrent of violence (he sucks!)

Like when they kiss by the lake in the first book and he’s like “I don’t know why I care what you think, but I do 🥺🥺” that is 100% play acting lol

Oh you didn’t mean? This was completely unplanned? Sure Jan.

Comparatively I think the Winter Fete makeout scene is a little more dubious. I think him ignoring her for a bit after kissing her that first time, then suddenly paying a lot of attention to her is of course a deliberate ploy. And he’s obviously trying to seduce her and overwhelm her to a purpose.

But taking into account how he’s tried to present himself through the first half of SaB, or even in the Tailor, the impression he seems to want is like nice and reasonable and personable. So the angry vibe in that scene feels very counter to his typical playbook!

This is also where we get what I would argue is his character thesis.

This is definitely a value and perspective he actually holds, he’s not lying to her about that, in that moment. Manipulation or not. And I feel like this isn’t really a statement that gels with his persona? Like he doesn’t want to come across as the thousand year old evil wizard whose starved himself of all emotion and feeling until he’s a withered husk of a person, who in his own single mindedness keeps shooting himself in the foot wrt fairly attainable goals just because he doesn’t understand things like compassion, moderation, or common sense anymore. He’s pretending to be a spry and youthful centenarian who’s totally in touch with his feelings and soooo with the times, guys, he’s sooooo normal and down to earth. I digress.

But my point is that I don’t think he’s entirely behaving in a way that’s conducive to the front he’s been putting up! My interpretation is that the stag news has jarred him enough that he’s acting somewhat genuinely.

When Alina somehow (I don’t understand how this fucking works because it implies that it’s magical, not her just getting a vibe???) senses that he’s angry I think that’s also genuine. Like he basically says that he’s annoyed that he’s not planning the hunt for the stag like a goddamn adult and is instead making out with her in a random back room. And I think that’s… basically true, though he def seems to try to spin it as like making her feel special because he wants to make out with her that bad. When in reality (imo!) it really has nothing to do with her as a person at all, he’s just that hot and bothered at the thought of this thing he’s been pursuing for so long finally being within reach.

I think it’s telling that in the descriptions of them kissing he seems shdgdd pretty focused on her neck. He’s 100% having weird ass fantasies about the collar— which isn’t something she’s really in on, or quite grasps the significance of? So it’s not really a performance for her?

Idk! I just think that scene’s a good example of manipulation and genuine interest going hand in hand.

Post villain reveal, another case of “this doesn’t seem particularly aimed at Alina as an audience” imo is this bit, also from the first book:

First of all this scene is so fucking insane. (Not pictured: him making her beg for Mal’s life directly above this and being creepy about the collar.)

But this is a situation where Alina has told him that she’s willing to do everything he wants, if he spares Mal. That’s her one stipulation for submitting completely. He does not do that! In fact he goes out of his way to be as cruel as possible.

So considering that he is NOT softening his behavior for her at all, I feel like the narrative/Alina noticing longing is meant to be accurate. (My reading of it is that he’s tempted by her offer but wanting is weakness so lol he’s going to tank it immediately because being affected at all like that is scary to him) And again when he kisses her like, she is not happy about it! She does not want him to be kissing her! He knows that! So it’s presumably because he wants to, and whether that’s about power or desire… yes.

I fully agree that most of the saccharine stuff he says later on in the series (“I’ve seen who you truly are and I’ve never looked away” “You could make me a better man 🥺”) are just blatant lies sjdhfd I do not think he remotely believes them!

This instance in S&S is interesting though because it’s another juncture (imo!) where he is trying to manipulate her but is also kind of being genuine:

(LOL dismissive wave “I do not careee about your puppy love”)

He’s like “You are lonely because you’re seventeen and without much of any support system and miserable bc this power has separated you from all of your peers. Eye am lonely because I am one thousand years old and haven’t allowed myself to feel a single emotion since I was twelve. We totally relate ☺️”

Those two things are very much not the same! And I cannot imagine him not knowing that lol. But yeah, he’s simultaneously not in any other way trying to soften himself for her or try to convince her of his side of things. He seems completely willing to just forcibly drag her through whatever plan he has for completing the Amplifier set and using that for his random world domination plan? So just *generally* when he’s trying to manipulate her, post villain reveal, about how they’re Meant To Be and how only he understands her, I think that’s just with the aim of seducing her as opposed to seducing her itself being a means to an end?

#it’s so unfortunate that I have this many opinions about this #grishaverse #shadow and bone #darklina #alarkling #the darkling #aleksander morozova #i ramble sometimes #all the bendy punctuations #a mysterious stranger has appeared #meta #*writer’s cap*

[iveneverbeenthisdeadlol]

January '24

Alina concept(s)

While I was at drawing the Darkling, I also tried to draw how I'd imagine Alina.

I was actually surprised when I found out that Alina isn't half Shu in the books (yes, I discovered the adaptation first). So when I was doing my concept sketches, I still wanted to give her that lil part in, because I believe it was pretty good decision from the writers of the Show; to make her half Shu. It explained a little deeper why she'd feel like an outcast, why is there so much mystery behind her background, etc.

#art blog #sketch #sketches #alina starkov #the grisha series #grishaverse #the grisha trilogy #concept art #shadow and bone

[moonfrostdraws]

alina my crazy beloved i’ve tried to draw her many times in the past but i think i finally got the hang of it! next magia record girl: seika kumi! feel free to suggest a magia record character and i’ll try to draw them!

#moon's art #magia record #magireco #magia record fanart #イラスト #マギレコ #alina gray #alina magireco #アリナ グレイ #puella magi madoka magica side story

[wh0refornikolailantsov]

Prompt: And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier. Fighting in only your army, frontlines, don't you ignore me.

Song: You're Losing Me - Taylor Swift

For Alina x Reader pls??

Whelp, this one is new territory for me.

Love Alone Won't Win The War, But What If We Tried Anyway - Alina Starkov

Content Warnings: Canon Compliant Discussions Of War/Violence/Threat. Break Up, Hurt/No Comfort. Not Beta/Proof Read.

Mal is being a little too playful to make you feel calm as you, he and two Squallers whose names you barely know make your way through the woodland.

"This feels... pointless," says the grisha dragging his foot through the dirt.

"We are tracking," Mal reminds him. The man scoffs.

"We are not finding any divine creature in these damn woods," he spits back.

"I need a better vantage point," you mumble, you grab a spike from your bag and wedge it deep into the bark of one of the taller trees. You throw a look to the other Squaller, "boost?"

She nods and with the quick movements of her hands you feel the air pooling beneath you, making your step lighter as you jump and pull yourself up into the height of the tree. There's not much as far as the eye can see, there's a crowd of deer not too far away but that's the only movement you can see. You climb down and give Mal a shrug.

"We should head back," you advise. Mal nods, knowing Alina was clear they all had to be back before nightfall.

"You just weren't going high enough," the grouch blue states, he grabs one of the climber spikes and goes to push it into a tall pale tree and you feel your blood rush through your body.

"Mal!" you yell and Mal, seeing what you see immediately pulls the Squaller back as you signal to the other. She raises her hands redirecting the air.

"What?" the grisha asks, pissed off and uncertain as to what danger is occurring.

"Widow maker," you say pointing at the tree, as it snaps and falls to the ground, the descent only slowed by the grisha's powers. "That could have killed you."

"Widow maker?" Mal asks, giving you a look. You shrug.

"It's what my dad called them, and you can imagine why," you say. You can feel all the eyes on you, but it's the grisha testing your patience that speaks.

"How was I supposed to know that?" he asks.

"Tree it basically hollow, it's dried out, the dead limbs, that thing was days from falling without your interference," you say, "now I will let you explain to Nikolai how you nearly got yourself and maybe more of us killed, so with that in mind, no more complaining on the walk back."

Alina leans against the door, drawing in a deep breath and sighs in relief that the day is finally over. "So, against your estimations, you brought everyone back alive," Alina points out. The exhaustion in her face does not take away from how beautiful she looks as she unties her hair and lets it fall down across her shoulders. Those strong eyes flitting to meet yours in the gentle candlelight.

"Not for a lack of them trying," you point out. She smiles, and it's genuine, it's full of soft love and admiration.

"I never doubted you," she reminds you, "you never let me down."

You give a mock bow and she gives you a gentle head shake in return. "Well you're the summoner, what can I say, I am your loyal-,"

"Stop," Alina says, running a hand through her hair, but the humour is still there, "not after the day I have had."

There are things she needs to say, things she has to say, but she won't say them now, she cannot say them now. She wants to just exist in this space with you and not think about it. But you can tell she is, you can tell her head is far away. "Hey," you say, offering out a gentle hand, "it's just us in here, we don't think about out there."

"I cannot leave it out there," Alina says, a little too snappish, it's clear she regrets it instantly, but she makes no move to take it back.

"Alina," you say slowly, "you know this is how we work-,"

"What if it's not working?" Alina asks. You turn to face her now, and she looks sunken, like she is finally giving way to the crushing gravity of all the responsibilities she never asked for.

"Alina I will follow you everywhere, I will do what you need me to do, but you have to tell me," you explain.

"I think, I don't..." she sighs. "I have this responsibility."

You can feel where this is going. "Alina," you try. She says nothing. "Alina," you try again.

"I... I just don't," Alina sighs. She is spiralling her explanations and you know why, and where they are coming from but you know it's not what she wants, you know it's what she thinks she has to do, you know she thinks it's for you as much as it is for the greater good and you cannot get a word in at all. "And-,"

"And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier," you say, and she quietens at that. "Fighting in only your army, frontlines, don't you ignore me. You... what do you want from me Alina, whatever it is I will give it to you, just... tell me."

"I want you to never leave this space, but I also want to not have this place distracting me when I am elsewhere," she says.

"So you want me here, but you want me gone?" You ask.

"I want you here," Alina says, "but I think I need you gone."

"Are you asking me to leave Alina?" You ask.

"No," she says, she is begging herself to beg you to stay, she is drowning every screaming thought about being with you out with mantra's about duty and obligation. You are the only thing that makes the world quieter, the dread less, and that feels dangerous in her position.

"Alina, isolation, burning yourself up, it's not the answer," you tell her, "giving away all of you isn't how you win this war-,"

"And loving you isn't either," Alina says. You stare at her, and she doesn't break, she feels like she is, she feels so distant from her own body and her words. She is telling herself to make it through the worse decision she has to make, to keep herself together until the door closes behind you and then she can breathe again.

"This is when-,"

"I am not going to apologise," Alina says.

"Then I am not going to stay," you tell her.

"That's how it has to be," Alina says. She watches you walk out, hears the sound of the door closing, clicking shut, she hears every single step you make away, and she doesn't doubt that you will keep walking until she is so far away from you that you couldn't run back to her. Alina slumps to the floor, her breath ripping it's way out of her lungs from the ferocity she had been holding it. "Is it enough?" she asks aloud, as if someone might answer her, "will this finally be enough?"

#alina starkov #shadow and bone #grishaverse #sun summoner #alina x reader #alina starkov x reader #alina starkov x you #alina starkov fic