#all around painful

[noknowshame]

why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?

#instant conversation enders for my multiple youth pastor cousins #don’t say it (I’m gonna say it) #The Child is The Price #but i mean come on #as someone who isn't actually even christian the real-life historical version of this is still cursed as fuck #i mean we know that jesus was a person who existed. whatever circumstances he was born in #its terrifyingly ominous to imagine being so unaware of the affect your child will have on the future of humanity #time itself will one day be counted around your birth of him #and all because he will suffer an excruciatingly painful death that you will not be able to prevent #not only that. but regardless of his or your intentions #regardless of whether there is a god #for millenea unfathomable millions will have blood spilled and will spill blood in his name #atrocities will be committed that you cannot even conceive of #and all on his and your behalf #you love your child. its beautiful. but there's horror in what you've done. because everyone else will love him too #and what's more dangerous than that?

[luyo-mi]

🐙❤️

#may my future riddle and azul book 6 battles be easy and not cause me mental pain #happy new years my children #we made it wooo #🥳🎉🎉🎉👏🎊 #time to spend my new years taking a nap #goodnight my loves ❤️ #kisses all around #twisted wonderland #riddle rosehearts #azul ashengrotto #azul has contacts in okay I don’t wanna hear it #ID ONT KNOW HOW TO DRAW GLASSESS #also don’t even question the tentacles bc even idk where they’re coming for #I meant from sad face #we’ll say it’s magic #why are the emojis so bi gtf

[critter-of-habit]

okay focusing on NATASHA when Peggy and Steve were reuniting was really a choice wasn't it

#a choice to cause me pain specifically #this ENTIRE EPISODE was meant to cause me pain #of all kinds #there was SO MUCH GOOD SHIT #and oh god so much not so good #I am still reeling #I needed to pause and pace around the house like 4 times #ugh my baby are you okay?? #and still after all that willing to go with Peggy to look for steve?? #Natasha my baby we've all been there I admire the dedication #What If...? #what if...? spoilers #what if #what if spoilers #peggynat #natasha romanoff #black widow

[napping-sapphic]

I just want to fall in love with someone who makes me feel safe like even when we’re angry or sad or upset i just want to know that both of us are still going to be okay

#wlw #wlw mood #sapphic #sapphism #lesbian #today was….not good #and at one point i had a moment #where i was just unbearably SAD and LONELY because i didn’t have anyone to call or talk to about it #but im still really hopeful it will happen some day #because all i want in this world is to feel secure #and for others to feel secure around me #and for everyone to feel secure around people they love #because it’s so painful and scary when you don’t #but one day im going to be warm and happy in someone’s arms and will barely remember this at all #im manifesting it #im completely okay btw things just got a little rough #and in the incredibly stressful and dramatic times i was experiencing my brain STILL had to be gay #im gay and i like sleeping #also yeah i said i wouldnt post after midnight again like two days ago but whatever #im sad and want to yearn on the internet we can make an exception tonight

[your-local-granny]

fall from grace

#I actually did this for inktober like a year ago whoops #Thinking about her again 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 did you know she makes me ill #hey wasn’t it kind of fucked up she literally got shot #wasn’t it fucked up how she lived with this phantom pain carrying around her father’s greatest failure the mark of a killer #and then. She was also shot. In the same shoulder. Wasn’t that fucked up a bit #Oh also this was gauche on like a 4x6 sketchbook so there’s a lot of patchiness but that was kind of the point srry #all about unlearning imperfection and trying something new yknow #franziska von karma #ace attorney #ace attorney fanart #portal art 💕🌸🌤️

[rebrandedbard]

How does the great Sandpiper successfully smuggle 130 children out of the Nilfgaard-occupied territory of Hamm? With the power of a forgotten story, a traditional song, and a masterful lie.

A piece for my upcoming fic, The Piper of Hamm, based on The Pied Piper of Hamelin, next in my fairy tale series.

#FINALLY finished this wip from literally TWO YEARS ago and it only took an HOUR to add the background and stuff #my art #my witcher art #witcher #the witcher #jaskier #The Piper of Hamm fic #I'm basically writing all these fics in order on a sticky note #you can see why I haven't gotten around the the Howl's Moving Castle or Stardust AUs yet because of this #TWO YEARS I had this idea #and it is only now being written #my life is pain lmao #but I've never been invested in a fandom this long so I think I've finally found my forever fandom #and the need to write these aus is still strong #so we'll see them one day

[dykealloy]

ripple effect legacy // my tears are becoming a sea, M83

#weaving parallels but god at what cost #something something luffy inheriting the will of a burnt out sun #something something the things we leave behind (broken promises. pain. little brothers. cool fire punch moves) #see the significance of ace is that he spends his whole life asking 'should i even have been born' and then through the positive #impact he has on everyone around him he creates a continuing cycle of change where people reach out a hand to help others #he said 'im not sure i deserve to live' and then became the most remembered and loved and sorely missed dude in one piece #like it's almost comedic how luffy keeps finding his big brother in the stories and best qualities of all the people he comes across vs. #people who knew ace and keep seeing pieces of him in luffy #anyway happy new year portgas d. ace trauma be upon ye~ #one piece #op #portugas d ace #portgas d ace #asl brothers #yamato #wano spoilers #one piece spoilers #CJ's edits #amv #monkey d luffy #straw hat luffy #monkey d. luffy #portgas d. ace #CJ's op watch-through

[nelkcats]

Death Loves No One

Cause if he did he'd want to keep them forever

After obtaining the title as Ghost King and losing all his family, Danny started to feel lonely. He had friends, ghosts that would stay for eternity by his side but it wasn't the same. Danny felt that his personal connections were what kept him sane, the evenings with Clockwork calmed him down, but it wasn't the same calm that Jazz used to provide.

So, when he was given the title of Equilibrium it wasn't really a big deal. It was just another title among a thousand others, Clockwork advised him to visit earth to discover his purpose but also warned him that he would not look human.

Danny accepted it but didn't take it seriously, he couldn't help but get scared when people started screaming around him. He wasn't doing anything weird, he was visiting the cemetery, his family's graves, but everyone was running away scared.

He realized that since he lost Jazz (the last one to leave) he no longer looked human. He wondered if it was possible that someone might be interested in talking to him but dismissed it. Some people began to nickname him "Death" because all he did was stay in the cemetery.

That's why it was extremely rare to find a boy calling him every day and making a small talk, he became attached to the boy. The boy would visit different graves but always stayed to talk to him, never yelled, or called him a bad name. Danny couldn't help but love him the same way he loved his family.

He wasn't surprised that the boy died soon after (knowing him brought misfortune didn't it?), but he never stopped visiting the cemetery. So, when the boy rose from his grave completely disoriented, Danny wondered if it was somehow his fault.

#dpxdc #ghost king danny #Danny lost his family #he felt cursed after it #as if everything around him is destined to die faster #his family did not stay as ghosts because they were at peace #Danny never was #His lack of contact with people made him less human #because the halfa began to forget how to be human during his pain #and his core reacted to his emotions #changing his appearance #dc x dp #dp x dc #Jason was the one who visited the cemetery #he liked to leave flowers for his mother #and Danny never scared him because Jason always thought death was kind #and maybe too lonely #Danny wonders if the fact that he became attached to Jason led to his earlier death #or to a half-life like his #he's not supposed to love after all

[saltpepperbeard]

hi everyone how are we doing i'll go first i'm doing Bad :)

#OFMD #OFMD Season 3 #and i guess this also applies to- #Good Omens #JSDLKSJDLKS #these little whispers of similar posts inspired me idk #and also meow and the wifey in my dm's have expressed Similar Pain #it's just HARD OUT HERE #also me clowning lol 'i'm trying to be patient' and then whips back around with this post #BUT I JUST HSJKDKLSDS LIKE I WILL WAIT #BUT I'M ANXIOUS ABOUT IT :) #IT'S JUST A WAY MORE NERVE-WRACKING WAIT #BECAUSE I DON'T TRUST THE STUDIOS AT ALLLLLL #and god it's like #with ofmd AND good omens #it's legitimately just one more season #surely they'd just want to finish the story and see it all completely through and lock the viewership IN #SURELY IT WOULD MAKE THE MOST FINANCIAL SENSE TO WRAP UP A STORY AND THEN HAVE A COMPLETED STORY AND ATTRACT PEOPLE WITH THAT STABILITY #RIGHT??? #LIKE COME ON NOW

[lulla-bee]

three years of youth in a minute

#what a week for gays #all these pain and suffering #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk season 2 #jjk s2 #jjk gif #jjk edit #jjkedit #gojo satoru #geto suguru #kenjaku #satosugu #lulla-bee #lulla-bee edits #*breaks down uncontrollably* #shibuya arc #shibuya incident #GET SEALED GET SLICED #just realized how crazy it is that the first gif shows their usual life as jujutsu socerer students goofing around and taking missions #the middle gif shows how they work together in their mission with the star plasma vessel #and the last one is the aftermath of riko's arc and how they spiral down and etc #and that memory from before satoru killed suguru in 0 #im so crazy

[bananonbinary]

theres so many ways to write how jmart interact off-mic in season 1, but my lowkey favorite is “jon genuinely doesn’t realize what a huge asshole he’s been and thinks he and martin have ‘professional differences.’ he sees no reason they cant be friends right up until martin is like ‘you literally wished i was dead’“

#the magnus archives #this one makes most sense to me bc he was at martin's birthday #and i think s1 jon's Problems all come from being too caught up in his own head to notice everyone else around him #so it makes sense he'd sorta...forget his words and actions have consequences #also its very very juicy to imagine jon experiencing the sting of rejection here #and have to reevaluate why martin might not like HIM #because i love pain

[haunted-xander]

Sometimes I think about Urianger's role in and feelings on the Thancred-Ryne dynamic and I think watching it kills him a bit inside. For several reasons.

Like, to begin with there's the guilt he's been carrying with him since he ushered Minfilia to the first, how he effectively killed the person Thancred cared about the most in the world and who's "death" ended up causing Ryne's entire Situation. He looks at what's happening between them and can only think "I caused this" even though that's not really true. No one person is responsible for this outcome, it's a culmination of several circumstances and the consequences of them. Logically, Urianger knows this. But it doesn't matter, because his guilt is overpowering his logic.

And also, like. What Thancred is doing here, the way he's knowingly letting Ryne be and stay hurt because he literally cannot bring himself to tell her his feelings, is the exact same mistake Urianger made with Moenbryda. Of course, the circumstances are vastly different, and the potential consequences to Thancred telling Ryne the wrong things or her misinterperating it is far greater (being a matter of literal life or death), it's still the same sort of paralysis they are trapped in.

And he knows it. He sees it. But he can't say or do anything about it, he doesn't have the right to. He acknowledges the mistake, but he hasn't really improved upon it yet. He still doesn't voice his thoughts and feelings as he should. He's also non-confrontational by nature, he doesn't argue or try to change peoples minds, he probably doesn't think he has any place to.

So, he tries to help in what little ways he can. Because he doesn't want it to become Monebryda again, he doesn't want to know he stole not one but two people from Thancred. So he does what he can. He tells Ryne little tidbits about Thancred, things that help her understand him but are safe to share. Nothing too deep, nothing too personal. Just small things, things that are purely factual, because he can't afford to give her a false image of who Thancred is. He teacher her fun and interesting things, because Thancred isn't in the mindset to provide her with non-essential skills.

I like to think Urianger has brought it up with Thancred at least once, during one of his stays. But nothing would've come of it. Not really. Unlike Y'shtola, Urianger isn't pushy, he'll bring it up once or twice and when he sees this won't go anywhere, he gives up. He wants to help, but he knows that persistance only does do much, and he is not the person who has the resiliance needed to push and push until Thancred finally budges (because he won't budge, it won't help anything but to sour things further by adding aditional stress to an already strained dynamic).

And like. Urianger gets it. He gets it because he's been the same way- not saying what he should to someone he loves more than anything else because she was meant to figure her life out herself, and 'steering' her in any direction by telling her his feelings (regardless of if the 'steering' is intention or not) will go against that. He gets it. He gets it and it's all the more painful for it. He knows it can't just be fixed by acknowledging it or with encouragement, something needs to happen to break the stasis.

I think this is probably why he stayed behind while they went off to Nabaath Areng. This is the very last chance they have to say what they want to, and he can't afford to be the anchor anymore. This is about them, not him, he can't let their resolution be buffed by his presence, so he stays behind. Which was probably for the best. Ryne got nervous when Urianger said he's staying behind, probably not too excited about being alone with Thancred (well, not alone, but WoL doesn't count) so soon after she had ran away crying. But she needs to be nervous. For anything positive to come out of this Thancred and Ryne both can't afford to be too relaxed. As sad as it is, the stress is necessary for anything to happen. He knows it. Does he like it? Absolutely not, but nor does he like his other plots. At least no one dies this time if it goes right.

#urianger had an integral part in the thancred-ryne situation and i think its very important to remember that #like i think he served as a very important buffer that prevented the dynamic from becoming even more strained than it already was #but also like. ryne NEEDED to have at least someone she can be comfortable around without the stress of her circumstances souring it #urianger is uniquely suited to play that role. even with his guilt regarding minfilia he never showed anything but genuine kindness for her #it helps that she didnt know about his hand in the situation existing to begin with (as shes surprised when he tells her in ahm areang) #THATS ALSO IMPORTANT BTW. like this man had a DIRECT hand in making this happen (even if it isnt fully his fault. minfilia made her choice) #AND LIKE. the parallels between uri-moen and thancred-ryne. they both love these girls so so much but cant bring themselves to say anything #urianger has been through the pain before. he knows. but he hasnt improved much himself. what right does he have to scold thancred? #silent support is all he can give. pushing thancred would make him a hypocrite and risk making it worse. hes not suited for confrontation #y'shtola and uriangers approaches to helping both have their merits but it needs a balance #too much pushing and the dynamic just gets worse but too forgiving and nothing will ever change #and yes i know im just repeating myself but ITS IMPORTANT OK #GOD #urianger augurelt #thancred waters #ryne waters #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #xander rambles #xander being insane about ryne #urianger actually this time but. its related to ryne so. it gets the tag

[canisalbus]

I think you've mentioned before that after Machete's passing, Vasco would eventually find another partner that he'd live out the rest of his days with. Do you think he'd tell them about Machete at some point? Or would he feel it's safer/easier to keep the stories and memories to himself? If he did tell his partner I'd also understand if he chose to leave out certain details, such as Machete's job, whether it be for general safety or a sense to protect Machete's privacy and reputation even though he's gone

I think the partner Vasco lives the rest of his days with is most likely his platonic wife Ludovica, the one he was already married to at the time he reunited with Machete in their early thirties. I can see him eventually starting to try to see other men again, and he might love them too, but the whole process of trying to open up to other people (after all those years and the way things ended) would be kind of lonely, frustrating and painful for the most part. Chances are none of his subsequent relationships would last very long. He'd probably grow closer to Ludovica and she would do her best to support him. I'm not sure how much of his 10+ years with Machete he'd be able to share with anyone to be honest.

#answered #anonymous #death #cw death #Vaschete lore #it's not like he's doomed to be alone and never know love again #but Machete's untimely passing left a massive hole in him and he might not be able to fill it in any meaningful way #even if he tried and lived to an advanced age #I think the most unbearable thing would be the banality of it all #they tried so hard to make things work and keep each other safe and their whole co-existence was shadowed by secrecy #and then everything just ends and world keeps going around him #he can't share his pain with anyone or grieve properly because so few people knew of them and it has to remain that way

[hajihiko]

the sketch turned out pretty so here no context its sap night tonight

#I mean you can makeup the context lol you know what I'm about #Fuyuhiko kuzuryu #an art #Last time I was high I read some RvB fabrics and yknow how your senses get all messy. Well I felt the idea of violence very viscerally #Violence and pain sucks yknow. Being around it a lot must really be upsetting on a psych level #So anyway. Be niceys to one another

[laniidae-passerine]

Danver’s specific brand of racism is so intrenched in love it’s fascinating. Her daughter is precious to her and her daughter is Indigenous and in this town, an Indigenous woman is not viewed as a precious thing. They are abused and raped and murdered and therefore, being white is the ‘better’ choice. She is actively whitewashing her daughter, not only because she’s afraid of what she doesn’t understand and because of typical coloniser mentality, but because she doesn’t want to lose her. Danvers can’t distance Indigenous identity from white violence and it’s killing what she loves.

#it’s why she doesn’t mind the other indigenous people she lives alongside #not until she cares about them #because then she had to grapple with racialised violence #that Indigenous women in Alaska (and all over the world) experience violence at a significantly higher rate than other women #and it’s her job to keep them safe! she’s the chief of police and she has changed NOTHING #she is complicit in that violence! and she doesn’t want to face it #doesn’t want to face her role and doesn’t want to acknowledge how horrible everything is #so she’d rather try scrape away indigenity from the people she cares about then accept it. because to her that means accepting #that they’re much more likely to die or experience considerable pain #she’s fascinating to me. you can love someone so much you wanna kill a huge part of them #make them walk around feeling a ghost #liz danvers #chief danvers #jodie foster #true detective #night country #true detective: night country #tw racism #tw violence #tw racially motivated violence #tw rape

[ryllen]

Look what came through the mail today! The letters & ( •̀ω•́ )σ 3 little gremlins from letterstoear.

Just wanna say i adore the flower stickers on the letters too much, they are that much worth mentioning.

#letterstoear #nui #twst #twisted wonderland #sebek zigvolt #malleus draconia #twst grim #mod posting #okay but i love squishing the bears with my thumb; they just have the right thickness to be pressed on #i really like the flower stickers; they look like romantically artistic wax seal #the letters are pleasantly nice #i love the part where cheka personally request for an audience with yuu thru sebek 🥺🥺🥹🥹 too cute hnggh ....... #sebek becoming our little mailman for our little invitation aw 🥹 for those who wanna know the context of the letter; #i requested a letter from sebek that he sent home while he was away accompanying malleus on other country duty #my other favorite part is just him simply opening the letter with 'My love' #i'm sealed 🥹 the first paragraph is written so sweetly #i enjoy reading the letter slowly outside in peaceful afternoon today; i ran it through together with sebek nui #this will be my treasured keepsake from now on 🥹; it seriously made me miss letters and wish i have someone to send this kind of letter to #it was a bit funny how the envelope sebek's letter came from is sticked with the guys from free! sticker fhsdsh 🤣😂 #and me with the white haired guy like WHo are u?? fsjdsdjsd (´つヮ⊂); but it's a really nice service #the thank you letter came with such a cute and yummy folding paper; thank you for the stickers too #i feel like there's a bit whoopsie on grim's winky eye fshfh like i think the sharpie just blurs the separating space '<' supposed to have #and just combine it all together into one angry eye; and sebek bear's eyes are just a little bigger than i expected it to be #but the more i look at them i think they are just having a little individuality & still cute #i embraced it all together while knowing the fact none of handmade thing would always be the same one with the other; hehe sebek nui has fr #i kinda forget that there's this kind of clip earring fshd; because i always get the ones that work like screw from aliexpress #i know that the literal clip one would just be literal meaning of pain fsh; just like the magnet one my father once got me when i was a kid #it was painful but pretty; tho i lost it quickly bcs magnet easily get loosed once one part of it moves around when u touch ur hair or face #anyhow i had a pleasant day because of this; thank you very much ! sebek nui said 'thank you' too! ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚. ❀ ✿ 𖤣…