#all it will take is one drunken get together of like 10 people for the whole school to be fucked

[amaranthineghost]

hello!!!

can you do a one shot/ fanfic that Lando has been dating Y/N since they were 15/16, so for a long time, and she just found out she’s pregnant. you can come up with how they would react and how lando would react but i’d love if they were unsure of it in the beginning, but it grew on them as time went by.

thanks!!!!

| OUR WORLD IN YOUR HANDS ( lando norris. ) |

ꕥ pairing: lando x reader

ꕥ summary: they hadn't planned for pregnancy, but it changed their life.

ꕥ authors note: enjoyed writing it more than I thought I would honestly. tried to make it so she was more unsure than he was and in the end, I liked it. working on incorporating more dialogue in the future because it is definitely not my strong suit. I'll also alternate between requests and my own ideas so if you requested something, keep it in mind <3

ꕥ warnings: mentions of alcohol, sex, barely mentions thoughts of abortion

TWO RED LINES. her heart had skipped a beat, more like several as she stared at the dark red line and a faded pink one next to it. she couldn't believe her eyes. it couldn't be possible, it repeated in her mind.

but it obviously was. they hadn't been very careful, they're young and dumb and in love. two people so deeply in love that they couldn't care less. at least she thought they did at the time.

staring at the test in front of her shook her whole world, an entirely different branch of her life she'd never expect to take this soon. it was right in front of her.

despite being together for a year or two shy of a decade, it felt too soon. they were still young, had plenty of parties lined up in the near future. plenty of drunken nights running through the streets of monaco barefooted, hands intertwined as the world was focused on them. how they'd escape to the farthest rooftop, drunken makeouts leading to more as they came together under the stars.

they still had time. time to be what they'd missed as teenagers, to make memories. they had time to spend countless nights, wrapped in each other's arms under cold skies on balconies across countries, discussing their future. when they'd get married, where they'd like to live, if they ever left monaco which seemed unlikely, the places they've yet to see, how many kids they'll have and their names.

time for reckless driving through the streets of monaco with the wind crashing against them, hands raised as they cheered. he always drove to the most beautiful sight in the city, but always claimed it would never come close to the beauty she possessed.

time for runs across the beach in tiny bikinis and swim trunks as they raced on the sand. his arms capturing her waist as he tossed her around, feeling the vibrations of her laughter and screams against his skin. a feeling he'd forever cherish.

it all disappeared with a single faded line. everything she knew about their future collapsed with the test barely bigger than the length of her hand. it would affect everything.

it was conflicting. becoming a mother was all she ever dreamed and talked about, when she became older. she'd mention to her curly-haired boyfriend countless times of her dreams of having the mini versions of him running around the house they shared. the longing to see his eyes and curly hair with features of her own on another warm body. their child.

but she wasn't ready. in her mid-twenties, with years of life left to live child-free. tens of grand prix's to attend in support of her mclaren lover, watching 10 feet away from his car. nights to catch up on hours of sleep she lacked from keeping up with lando's lifestyle.

having a kid swept it all off the table. no more late night dalliances, or getting so drunk to the point where lando would have to pull over the car to hold back her hair as she threw up in the bushes.

no more parties at ungodly hours of the night, watching drunk lando stumble his way to the dj booth, giggling over a glass of alcohol at his actions.

no more sleep. she knew she'd be woken up numerous times in the night from the cries of her child, and she wasn't sure if she wanted to give up sleep yet.

and she wasn't sure lando wanted to give up formula one either. obviously, a balance between the two worlds is possible, but she knew he would want to be there with her, and she didn't know if he could.

it scared her. the thought of this changing the dynamic of their relationship on levels she couldn't even begin to think of. she's seen countless videos of how having a child completely changed the way couples worked, good and bad, and she didn't want that fifty-fifty.

she'd sat staring at the test between the tips of her fingers for a solid twenty minutes before she heard a patterned knock she grew familiar with from her beloved boyfriend.

the door muffled his voice just slightly, "darling, you 'right in there?" his hand wrapped around the now cold door handle and twisted it, but it failed to turn as it pressed into his palm.

it was unusual for her to lock the door, she knew he would question it. and she knew she couldn't use the excuse of that she's changing or showering because lando simply didn't care whenever she was. he'd sit and keep her company till she was done with whatever she was doing because it was often what they did. sit in silence, enjoying the presence of one another.

"yeah, I'm fine!" she called out to him in a rushed tone, flinching enough that she nearly dropped the test. she watched as the door knob shook, shoving the stick into the bottom of the trash temporarily. she'd remember to remove it eventually.

she turned on the sink as she hid the box of tests in the depths of the cabinet under the sink. looking at herself in the mirror, she'd wipe away the tears that built in her eyes. she didn't want him to notice, but like always he would.

from the locked door to the second she opened it, he'd watch it. she'd see him leaning on the wall just outside the door, patiently waiting for her to come out to him. he wouldn't question it, he trusted that she would eventually come around to tell him. she always did.

with the frequent trips to the bathroom and the slimmed selection of foods in the fridge, he'd suspect something, but he wouldn't know for sure. not without her word.

because for the time being, it was a secret she kept to herself, as much as she despised secrets. she felt like she was guilty to be hiding something from the person she trusted most in the world.

times when she thought the room was empty, she'd be pacing long ways back and forth with her arms crossed and her face solid. he'd watched her from the doorframe with his arms crossed against his chest, mirroring her position slightly.

times when she'd drop whatever she was doing to rush into the bathroom and spill her guts into the toilet as he held her hair and ran his fingers along the nape of her neck. she claimed it was a stomach bug, but he knew better. he also knew better than to question her words so he said nothing, but made a multitude of soups for her to sip on, taking notice of her now acute taste.

times when she'd cry over the tiniest of things, comforting her in his arms while she sobbed against the fabric of his very worn hoodie that happened to be her favorite.

it wasn't a great shock when she first told him. stuttering over her words as she fumbled with the sleeves of his long-sleeve shirt that went well past her fingertips, he could see tears brimming her eyes with her heightened sensitivity.

so when she muttered the words, "i'm pregnant," his world stopped, restarted, reloaded and stopped again when he finally processed the words. though he knew he could've expected it, hearing the confirmation leave her lips left his world tipped sideways.

but he wanted to hear it again, needed to, words breathlessly escaping his lips, "what, love?" he heard her the first time, but he wanted to hear it again. and again and again.

she choked on her words, sobbing out again, "I'm pregnant, lan," he pulled her into his chest, his hand finding it's way to the side of her head as he cradled her, pressing his lips against her hair.

as they swayed, it finally dawned on him, muttering unsure and excitedly against her head, "I'm going to be a dad?" his breathing deepened, his tongue gliding across his lips, then biting at the sensitive flesh. he felt his heart hammer in his chest, nearly comparing to when he first asked the girl out all those years ago. he reminisced the time when the biggest deal he could think of was rejection. now the girl he had crushed on when he was just a teenager just told him she's pregnant. with his kid.

part of him couldn't be happier, they had spent countless nights in bed, lying on their sides facing one another with stupid grins on their faces as they pondered their future together. whatever they wanted, it always had the other in their thoughts and plans.

this was just their plans manifesting faster than they might've hoped, and sure, he wasn't totally certain that it was the right timing after all. but this was their dream, and maybe they just needed time.

time to accept how greatly their life would be affected. he thought about how he'd have to leave her for days, weeks for his career, the few outlying times when she'd travel with him. he knew that would change, leaving her home with a new life to take care of besides her own. he hated the thought of leaving her.

they needed time to think, whether it was together or just by themselves. they needed to figure out how they'd make it through, if they could. which was a question in itself.

they needed to talk because part of her didn't think he would be so accepting of the change life threw them, permanently altering their course of life and the years to follow.

deep inside, they're scared. they knew they would've been, planned or not. it didn't make it any easier. but when he asked such a simple question, it lifted a massive weight that had been carrying on her shoulders. part of her knew he'd always be so accepting. everything is an experience after all.

with every month passed, every growth of the life within her body, he'd mention. he was the nerdy type to compare the size of the baby with fruit. he'd goggle each week with every new development she'd create. it shook his mind to even comprehend. she could make bones, organs and the tiniest lashes of their soon-to-be kid all within the confines of her body. to him, it was sacred.

and of course, he'd tell just about everyone from every team. all the drivers, mechanics, pit crew, team principals, the list goes on and so does his rants about her.

countless photos of appreciation for her on his social media, after all she was carrying his child and he was ecstatic. he'd spent every waking moment he could with her, his hands always somewhere on her, prodominantly on her growing stomach.

when he felt the first kick, he pulled his hand away sharply, looking at her with a dropped jaw and wide eyes, "it kicked me!" he'd exclaim and she slapped his shoulder, scolding him.

"don't call the baby an 'it!'"

"what else am I supposed to call it?" again, earning another slap to his bicep, and he'd look at her with a growing confused look.

"stop slapping me!" he held up his arms in defense as she scowled at him, her arms crossed over her chest. she pursed her lips before sighing as he'd replace his hand on her stomach.

"babe, I don't think this baby likes me," he looked between his hand and her eyes, feeling the movement under his palm. it was a weird sensation, something he'd never expect to feel so soon, or at all.

all she could do was laugh at the stupid expression across his face as he looked back and forth in bewilderment. the warmth from his hand, and the small calluses sent goosebumps across her skin. it incited a smirk to take place on his face, but she slapped it off. he'd expect to feel more of those as the months went by, especially with all the sly comments she'd hear slip past his lips.

with every ultrasound appointment, he'd be there. he'd make sure of it, no matter where he was or what he was doing. she also scheduled them in accordance to his race and where in the world it took place.

every time, his eyes would be locked on the screen that projected his child, a part of him in another life form. a smile always creeping into his face as he held her cold hand. more often than not, he'd get curious and try to become the technician, stealing the equipment out of the professional's hand. his girlfriend would scold him like he was some sort of dog. in response he'd groan, rolling his eyes at her.

he'd still try though, and the technician laughed it off. he'd make comments to her in reassurance, "babe, i've got this," he'd tell him as his hand with the wand came closer to her stomach.

"where's your degree then?" she snapped back, giggling at his sudden pause before he shrugged, waving it off his other hand.

" 's at home."

when the time finally came to birth their new life into the world, god did lando panic. everything he had prepared himself with went out the window when she'd mutter the words he'd been waiting to hear.

"lando," she mumbled as she sat on their couch, turning to him with wide eyes, "I think it's time." her sleeve-covered hands were at her face as she bit nervously on her nails.

he'd stutter over his words, hands in his hair, "you're joking." he'd say repeatedly as he rushed around the apartment, grabbing things. he was the type to grab everything and forget her still on the couch.

she'd call him on her phone when she sees him in his car from the window, through the pain, she laughed at him, "forget something, norris?"

"no, darling, I've got everything-" she'd see his movement pause, his hand returning to his hair, "fuck!"

when he'd come back to help her, she was nearly collapsed with laughter despite the pain she felt through her body.

"stop laughing at me!" he whined but he was laughing with her. nonetheless, they'd get to the car.

she was in labor for hours, crunching on ice chips that he'd fed her carefully. he'd massage her shoulders, hold her hand when contractions got particularly unbearable. he knew not to mumble bullshit words of encouragement, a word of advice from his mum, advice he'd gladly listen to.

instead he'd show her he was there by doing everything she asked until it was time to actually deliver their child they've been waiting 9 months to finally meet.

with a pale face, lando would comment, "I think one kid is fine after all." she'd roll her eyes at his words as she held their daughter in her arms, already seeing themselves in her. she was exhausted and he knew. he put her hair up, cooing words of appreciation to her now that all was done. he took care of her.

he'd remember call his mum later to tell her thank you.

#formula 1 #formula 1 drivers #formula one #lando #lando norris #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #lando angst #lando norris x you #lando norris fluff #lando norris fic #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando x reader #lando imagine #ln4 #ln4 x reader #ln4 imagine #ln4 fluff #lando fluff #f1 #f1 2023

[rene-darling]

WOULD- he send n00ds? And how?

...would these modern college AU genshin men send n00ds to you?...

...Xiao...wanderer...lyney...

Xiao

No.

Absolutely- not.

The very idea is preposterous and disgusting. And after all, he's heard wayyy too many stories of a person's nudes getting leaked, and he does not want his stuff all out there.

He trusts you, yes. But especially at the beginning of your relationship, there's not enough trust for him to do that.

Xiao doesn't usually go to frat parties, but his friend is the one throwing this one so he felt obliged to go. What could go wrong?

Xiao doesn't drink, nor does he party, but after chugging drink after drink and being sat in a circle playing truth or dare, his tipsy mind is feeling rather- ballsy.

So it goes as follows, he picks dare and gets dared into sending nudes to the last person he's messaged, Xiao's great at keeping secrets so no one knows that you're dating, truth be told- even in his drunken state if the last number he texted had been anyone else, he wouldn't have done it.

But it's you. So his drunken mind agrees. He takes a rather risky photo, some alcohol is dripping from his mouth, sweat runs down his forehead, his back is arched and he gives such a sultry look. Then, he presses sent. The rest of his night is spent partying and drinking more, so his memory of doing this fades into bliss- that is, until the next morning.

Accompanying his painful headache is a certain memory, that makes him physically gag in remembrance, he rushes to check his phone, hoping- praying that you didn't see it- he thinks he's gonna faint from embarrassment when he sees the little *seen* at the bottom of the text.

Fuck. You saw it. You didn't even respond- he shoves his head into the pillow screaming externally and internally- you fucking saw it! And-...you didn't even respond..does that mean you don't like it..? Wait. That's the least of his worries!!!

He's happy about the fact that he doesn't have to see you in his first few classes. But then, it's time for a class that you both have together.

He has half the mind just to skip, but eventually, he has to face you, better be it now than later right?

Whatever, it'll be fine, he'll just explain to you- that he didn't mean it, he was drunk n at a party he wasn't thinkin-

Suddenly Xiao hisses as he's pulled into the janitors closet on his way to class, he swiftly turns his head to glare at the person who did this- it's you.

"So, Xiao, about the pictures you sent. I called you at least 10 times after those, but..you didn't answer." He opens and closes his mouth like a fish, his whole plan goes out the window as he just meekly stares up at you. This wasn't what he expected, but it wasn't something he disliked-..perhaps...he should send some to you even when he has clarity of mind?

Wanderer

Far too skeptical to entertain such a thought.

If you mention it first he'll just scoff at you and give you a dirty glare "Do I look like one of your whores?" "But baby- you're my only whore not one of them-" expect to get a glare from him the whole lecture, in and out of the class. His stare is practically sending you a death threat

Later, if he catches himself thinking about what you asked of him he cringes at himself and the thought.

He's not one to trust people easily, he's been stabbed in the back, and betrayed far too much to be vulnerable enough and to trust you enough to send nudes.

His head runs wild, what if you didn't like what you saw? What if you decided he was so ugly you needed to share those photos with those around you? What if, what if what if.

It's only later on, deep into your relationship that the thought of sending pics crosses his mind once more.

He's tapping his foot harshly against the ground. He's sitting at his seat as students pour into the lecture hall, his eyes scan the room as he sees you walk in and wave at him, just like always. You sit next to him, but he just can't maintain eye contact.

He has his phone in his right hand, staring at the screen intently as the sound of the classroom processes as background noise for him. Should he? What if you don't like it? What if you just meant it as a joke and you'll actually get disgusted once you gaze upon the photos..?

He sighs resting his head on his desk in contemplation. 'I mean...I took some measures just in case, I'm sending it on snap so she can't save or look at it again..fuck-..it should be fine..right..?' his thoughts are jumbled but ultimately he- "fuck it." And he presses sent.

Now it's just a matter of waiting for you to check your phone, it's like the clock is ticking extra slowly and you're doing this on purpose, aren't you? You heard the ding so check the goddamn phone already- and then you picked up your phone, once you noticed it was your boyfriend who texted you, you glanced at him, a confused expression, he's sitting right next to you- so why would he- oh.

Almost immediately you duck your phone down under your desk, you don't want to share this sight with any eyes that aren't yours.

"..why now? Fuck- you look pretty..?" Your mumbling- he has you mumbling. That's a good thing right?

And- and you complimented him- that means you liked it right?

He's such a brat, sending you a photo of his back arched, his tongue sticking out as he was wearing a short skirt with thigh highs, you could catch a glimpse under it from the picture- in which you could tell he wasn't wearing anything.

Your boyfriend who loved baggy clothes and dark styles was wearing a pink flirry skirt!

Heats pooling in your pants as you glare at him,

He had a smug look on his face- looking oh so proud. Anyways- he thought you would wait and fuck him after class. But once he felt your hand creeping up his thigh his eyes widened in shock as he realized you had no plans to wait until after the lecture.

lyney

Agrees.

Well- he's definitely startled at your request, out of all things...this is what you desire most?

"mon amour- out of all things I- gulp didn't expect you to ask for n-...indecent photos." He's startled to say the least,

But he's not completely against the idea of it.

Your darling lyney is a magician, quick on his feet, he quite quickly puts that flustered face away to replace it for a rather cheeky one.

"Mon amour, I knew you missed me whenever I was busy practicing for my shows but to this extent! my-"

"forget it." His smug attitude is a turn off. At times.

Letting go of the idea you didn't really think he would go through with it anytime soon.

You don't expect anything unusual to happen today, like always you kiss lyney good luck for his show before heading to the audience to watch him perform from there.

Lyney's cheeky grin is noticed by you, but you just assume he's giddy for his show, heading into the audience to wait for your boyfriend,

you hear a ding. And as you open the message you drop your phone to the ground. It's a simple picture, it's of lyney, he sends you pictures of himself on the daily so what was so shocking about this one?

Well- for starters he's naked. Tied up with intricate red ropes, they look tight, especially around his thighs- wait. You recognize those ropes, they're the same ones he's gonna use for his performance today!-

And he does. Flaunting around those ropes in his performance, the same ones from the damn photos.

Lyney walks into his dressing room as usual- that is before he's pinned to the wall by none other than you.

"oh? Are you that excited to congratulate me on today's performance?" As your hand tightens around his wrist he starts to feel even more giddy

"what the fuck was that? " "Hm? Did you mind? It was a present." He's so smug.

"no- the ropes. You used the same ones from the performance didn't you- you cheeky fuck-"

"the ropes are over there, if you plan on doing something you should hurry, I have a fan meet n greet soon~" "oh I'll hurry alright."

You didn't hurry, for some reason unknown to his fans, the magician was unable to attend the meet n greet.

#genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin hcs #sub genshin #genshin xiao #sub genshin men #xiao x reader #xiao fluff #sub xiao #x reader #xiao #wanderer headcanons #wanderer x reader #wanderer imagines #wanderer #sub wanderer #lyney x y/n #lyney x reader #genshin lyney #genshin impact lyney #sub lyney #lyney #wanderer x you

[mysteria157]

Fic Masterlist

Pairing: Nanami Kento x Black Female Reader

Genre: Fluffy Smutty Romance, Unplanned Pregnancy/Sort of Enemies to Lovers AU

CW: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Baby Daddy Nanami Kento, Unplanned Pregnancy, Slow Burn, Minor Character Death, Angst/Hurt/Comfort, Smut, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Oral Sex, MINORS DNI

Summary: 

You probably shouldn’t have slapped him.

But you didn’t care. He deserved it after days of dismissive remarks and hard glares to everything you worked so hard for.

“I’m pregnant. I don’t want your help. I don’t need your help. The fact that you’re the father is more than enough to keep me away from you.”

or: Despite your differences and frustrations with one another, you share a drunk but passionate night tangled in the sheets. But now, five weeks later, you and Nanami Kento have no choice but to navigate a rocky relationship while also embracing the new responsibilities of parenthood that lay ahead.

Author’s Notes: This is my very first fic and a WIP. I have two more chapters left. This entire process has been a journey and there will always be things that I can improve on. But for now, please enjoy. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I love writing it! <3

~Those Moments In Between - moments that take place during and after It Had To Be You.~

Chapter Summaries:

Thank you all for coming on this journey with me. Feel free to leave a comment to let me know your thoughts. Or send me a message if you want! Love you all <3

Chapter 1: Your life comes to a startling halt when you realize the abrasive and dismissive man you shared a passionate but drunken night with is now the father of your child.

Chapter 2: That first day when you meet him, you’re bright eyed and ready to work alongside him, filled with so many ideas that will benefit the company. Him, Nanami Kento, a highly esteemed director that always made your stomach flip in desire. But it turns out, he’s not what you thought. Flashback

Chapter 3: When it comes to work, Nanami likes to follow a specific code for people like you. And he would like to think it’s working so far. But one too many drinks and things change. Flashback

Chapter 4: When you think you’re a step ahead to keep Nanami out of your way, your world comes crashing down and makes it harder for you to decide to break the news.

Chapter 5: You want nothing to do with him. Nanami wants to make the right decision. 

Chapter 6: You catch subtle glimpses of another side of Nanami. You both come together to meet the life you have created together. A traumatic part of your life makes itself known. 

Chapter 7: Pregnancy hormones get the best of you. You are given a big opportunity in your company. But it’s not what it seems.

Chapter 8: You deal with the fallout. An unexpected visitor puts your life in jeopardy. Nanami tries to pick up the pieces. 

Chapter 9: You make a life change and show a side of yourself that you never wanted to entertain. Nanami asks you to dinner. 

Chapter 10: You catch a glimpse of the growing life within. A home cooked meal and a searing kiss.

Chapter 11: Nanami gifts you with something that sets a new course in your life. When confessions are finally laid on the table, you both give in.

Chapter 12: A vulnerable moment with each other. A baby shower. An accident that throws Nanami’s life in disarray.

Chapter 13: You and Nanami navigate through grief.

Chapter 14: A birthday, a confession, and a new addition.

Chapter 15: You and Nanami navigate through the first months of parenthood. Nanami gives you an amazing birthday gift. A surprising encounter with someone from Nanami’s past makes you unsure of yourself.

Chapter 16:  The last person you ever wanted to see pries into your life. Nanami makes a life changing decision. Your hard work finally pays off.

Chapter 17: You work hard to bring life to something dear to Nanami.

Chapter 18: You help Nanami on the anniversary of Yu's death. Nanami finally works up his courage during a warm day of Sakura season.

Chapter 19 (Epilogue): Things finally come together.

**Do not plagiarize any of my works or translate without my permission!**

#masterlist #it had to be you masterlist #nanami fluff #Nanami Kento #Kento Nanami #Nanami Kento x Reader #nanami kento x black reader #Nanami Kento x black fem reader #Nanami Kento x you #Nanami Kento smut #jjk #jjk smut #jjk fluff #jjk fanfic #jujutsu kaisen #anime x black reader #jjk x black reader #nanami kento fluff #jujutsu kaisen fanfiction #jujutsu kaisen fanfic

[obsessedelusional]

Trigger Warning

parings ✦ Eddie Munson x Reader

summary ✦ A friend ship with Robin leads to a crush on Eddie Munson. One drunken night changes everything, suddenly Munson has a girlfriend. The group can’t help but assume it’s you. It’s not. Contains Smut

authors note ✦ Feedback and reblogs appreciated! Thank you for all the love!!!

A year ago you befriended Robin which quickly turned into you being integrated into her friend group, you fit right in. Eddie took a certain fondness to you, which you never fully understood. You considered your self plain and boring while Eddie was the complete opposite. But you couldn’t help but feel like he gravitated towards you whenever the group got together, flirting with you so outwardly. You never minded forming a crush on him shortly after meeting him.

You thought maybe you were over thinking the way Eddie acted around you but when Robin noticed it too, that validated your feelings. She was determined to make it happen, getting Steve in on it. Those two were constantly trying to push you two together. According to Robin the whole group shipped you two together. She had to explain that one to you not understanding what shipping two people together meant.

Robin begged you to come to a house party that the girl she liked was attending. You didn’t go to parties so you politely declined. Until she brought of the fact that one of the attendees would be Eddie.

“Fine I guess I’ll show up.” You whine pretending to be annoyed.

“I had a feeling that would work. Steve will pick you up at 10!” She says before before hanging up with no goodbyes. You chuckle at how excited she is.

—

A text from Robin letting you know they’re here puts a smile on your face as you run out the door straight to his BMW. You let your self into the back seat, Robin turns to face you, “You ready to get drunk?”

When you don’t respond fast enough Steve chimes in, “Why am I always the DD? When is it my turn to get drunk?”

“Never. You’re permanently my own personal driver. Suck it the fuck up.” She laughs as Steve starts the ignition and drives off, doing as he’s told. You’ve never drank before or got high before joining this friend group. Most of the time only participating because Eddie would be the one initiating it. Thinking it’s sad you’d do anything that boy asked of you.

Doesn’t take long before Steve parks in front of the house, just down the street from your home. Robin is the first out of Steve’s car. Steve and you follow far behind her. Once inside Steve says, “I wonder if Jessica’s here yet.” Then taking off to find his most recent situationship. Another term Robin had to explain to you.

You walk around hoping to bump into a familiar face. Eventually finding your way to the kitchen. Drinks and snacks lined up on the counter. You grab a beer, deciding if your gonna make it through the night you’re gonna need a little liquor in your system taking a big swig. Walking into the living room you see no one you know, you curse yourself for being so damn shy. Sitting down on the nearest empty seat, pulling out your phone to look busy. Sipping on the beer you found in the kitchen.

The weight of someone sitting to damn close to you pulls your attention away from your phone. Looking up you’re greeted by a guy wearing a letterman smiling, “Hey I’m Andy.”

You introduce yourself to with he responds, “Beautiful name for a beautiful girl.”

“Thanks.” You can’t help but blush, he’s attractive.

“What’re you doing all alone?”

“My friends ditched me.” You laugh taking another sip, some how your first drink is empty.

“That’s a shame. I would never ditch you. We should do shots.” You contemplate your choices, deciding taking shots with Andy sounds better than sitting alone. Before you can answer he stands up and drags you into the kitchen. He starts pouring some liquor into two shots before passing one to you. He doesn’t hesitate shooting it back, you follow in his lead. He yells as you cringe at how bitter it tasted.

Before you know it you’ve had several shots, definitely feeling it. Knowing you’re going to regret this is the morning. You nearly trip but Andy catches you in his arms. Looking up at him was a mistake because he kisses you hard and sloppy, making your need to vomit ten times worse then before. You push away from his grip and run towards the bathroom, running inside, kneeling in front of the toilet to throw up.

As you’re vomiting someone lets them self into the bathroom. Whoever it is sits down with you holding your hair for you. You quickly recognize the voice, it’s Robin.

“What the fuck happened?”

“Andy happened.” You whine, wiping your mouth off on the sleeve of your shirt.

“Yeah we saw that.”

“Who’s we?” You groan sitting back, the room spinning.

“Eddie and I.”

“We were enjoying the show of you taking shots. That was until Andy started getting touchy. You should’ve seen Eddie, absolutely fuming.” She laughs, handing you a water bottle, you drink it.

“Then when he kissed you he stormed out.”

“Was he mad?” You ask between drinks, trying desperately to rehydrate yourself.

“Yeah. You need to go talk to him.”

“I’m too druunkkkk.” You cry, slurring your words.

“A drunk mind speaks sobers heart.” You roll your eyes at her statement, “He’s drunk too. You’ll be fine.”

“Fuck it.” Robin cheers because the liquor is giving you the courage you never had before.

“Wait!” She rummages through the bathroom cabinets finding some mouth wash, passing you the bottle. You look in the mirror wiping away the tears before taking a swig of mouth wash, spitting it into the sink.

“Go get your man!” She yells as you walk out the front door.

“Eddie!” You yelp as you notice his van sat across the street. Music playing loudly, you laugh remembering giving Eddie shit cause he’d be deaf soon if he didn’t stop listening to music so loudly. Drunkenly you walk up to his van stopping at his window, suddenly not as confident as you once were. You can’t help but laugh at how upset he looks, startling Eddie in the process. Now that he knows your here you let your self into the van.

“What the fuck? You scared the fuck out of me.”

“I had to find you. Robin said you were mad at me. Can’t have Eddie mad at me.” You pout your lip before sitting close enough to rest you head on his shoulder.

“I wasn’t mad at you.”

“I didn’t want to kiss Andy. He’s a shit kisser anyways.”

“That’s a shame.” He says flatly.

“I want to kiss you.” You say in a whisper, surprised at the words coming out of your mouth. Wondering when you got so bold. Looking up to see his reaction, he’s staring off not daring to look down at you.

“That’s the problem. You shouldn’t want to kiss me.”

“Why?” You ask.

“Because Y/N you’re smart as fuck, you’re going places. You’re gonna do something with your life. If you get caught up in my bull shit I’ll only drag you down with me.”

“We’ll I don’t care you can’t tell me who I should want to kiss.” He groans, rubbing his eyes. A silence falls over the two of you, irritating your drunken self. You sit up so your face is level with him.

“Guess I’ll just have to go kiss on Andy.” You let out a loud sigh, teasing Eddie in the hopes he’ll stop you. He finally looks at you, trying hard not to smile. He can tell your only trying to make him jealous.

“Please don’t make me Eddie. I only want you.”

“You have no idea how badly I want you.” He laughs. That’s more than enough for you because you crush your lips into his. This kiss more passionate then the one you previously shared with Andy. You can sense Eddie’s hesitation but that quickly fades when your hands find their way to the back of his head, pulling at the hair on the nape of his neck. Eddie can’t control himself a low husky moan leaves his lips mid kiss.

You’re the one to pull away eventually panting, “I live down the street. Walk me home won’t you?” You smile and Eddie agrees. You two get out of his van and start the short walk.

“Where are you shoes?” He laughs. Looking down at your feet you shrug, can’t remember the last time you seen them. The looking down almost causes you to trip but Eddie catches you. So you hold onto his hand the rest of the way.

At your front door you ask Eddie to come inside. “What about you parents?”

“It’s only my mom and she leaves every weekend to go visit her boyfriend.” Eddie can sense the sadness in your voice but doesn’t say anything.

“Are you coming?” You whine, he nods, and follows you inside. Still hand in hand, you lead him upstairs. Once in front of your door Eddie starts kissing your neck from behind. You turn to face him, Eddie hoists you up, and carries you into the bedroom. Gently setting you down but you don’t let go pulling him down with you.

“I want you, Eddie.” You whisper before Eddie kisses you this time allowing his hands to explore your body, finding their way to under your shirt. Pulling it over your head, Eddie takes a moment to admire the sight in front of him. Your not too fond of wearing a bra, so your tits are out.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” He says kissing you again, his bulge pressing into your crotch. He’s hard and the friction feels so good.

“Do you have a a condom?” You ask when his kisses start to move lower, down your neck. He nods before pulling his wallet out and finding the condom that’s been collecting dust for a while now.

“Can I?” You ask grabbing it from his hands. He takes his jeans off so you follow, taking your shorts off. Eddie helps you remove your panties before laying back.

You make your self comfortable between his legs. You can see the entire out line of his dick in his boxers, turning you on even more. You caress it through the thin layer of fabric, feeling Eddie twitch under your touch. You decide you can’t wait any longer pulling the hem of him boxers down, his dick springs out hitting his stomach.

“Fuck it’s huge.” You take his cock in your hand, pumping it slowly trying to imagine this giant thing fitting in you. Eddie can’t believe what’s happening right now, have imagined this hundreds of times.

“I can’t wait I need you now.” Eddie whimpers at your words. You rip open the condom, pulling it out of the package. You slowly roll it down his shaft, painfully slow driving Eddie crazy. As soon as your done Eddie flips you over so your the one on your back. Aligning his dick with you dripping wet pussy, dragging the tip between your folds. Just barley grazing you clit, you moan needing more.

“Eddie please.” Your whine turns to a moan when Eddie slowly shoves the whole thing in before withdrawing it again, teasing you.

“Beg for it.” He hums, letting the head of his cock drag between your folds.

“Please,” you cry out, frustrated.

“What do you want? Use your words, princess.” He smiles, still teasing you cunt with only the tip.

“I want your dick, please.” With that Eddie slams his full length into you, giving you only a moment to adjust to being stretched out. You moan under Eddie’s control, feeling so full. He starts pumping in and out of you, picking up the pace your moans fill the silence.

He leans down so his lips meet yours, kissing you deeply. A moan coming from your mouth allows Eddie access to slip his tongue between your lips finding your tongue. He continues to make out with you as his thrusts become stronger. Just before he pulls out completely you frown at sudden emptiness.

“Flip over.” You listen rolling over onto your stomach. Eddie pulls your hips up so your face down ass up. He fills you up completely and doesn’t move. Taking a moment to appreciate the view in front of him. You can’t take it much longer so you begin rocking back and forth on his cock. Eddie throws his head back in pure bliss. A few short moments pass before Eddie’s grasping your waist and forcefully pounding into you, your moans getting louder.

You reach under yourself finding your clit quickly rubbing at your nub. Feeling your self coming closer to your end.

“Eddie I’m gonna…” You grunt your words trailing off as you climax on his dick. The sensation of your pussy pulsating as you come is just enough to send Eddie over the edge, he cums inside the condom.

You let your self fall flat on the bed. Eddie gets up and you roll onto your back, slipping under the covers. You watch as he removes the condom throwing in into a bin. He bends over and grabs his boxers, slipping them on. Then goes to grab his pants to put them on.

“Leaving already?” You whisper barley audible. Eddie stops what he’s doing and looks over to you laid in bed.

“I thought you’d want me to.” He mumbles, dropping his clothes back to the floor.

“I want you to stay.” You smile reassuringly. Eddie listens and crawls into bed with you. As soon as he lays down you rest your head on his chest and tangle your legs with his. Doesn’t take too long for you to fall asleep.

—

You wake up with the biggest grin and a fat ass fucking headache. Feeling around the bed, reaching for Eddie only to find an empty bed. You shoot up in bed and scan the room, there’s no sign of Eddie being here anymore. You groan annoyed and in pain, finding your phone laying on the floor. It’s nearly dead but you have nothing from Eddie. A few messages from Robin but that’s about it. You find the energy to get out of bed, still naked and sore. You go straight to bathroom and hop in the shower, letting the hot water run through your hair and down your body.

The events of last night replay in your head, at least what you can remember. You definitely remember Eddie being jealous so you tried to make him more jealous, your threats not so serious. Eventually convincing him to come over, where you two fucked. You can feel yourself greeting worked up remembering the details. Then remember the fact that he was long gone when you woke up.

It’d be one thing if he had left a note or maybe a text, but he left no sign that things were okay between you two. You sigh while hopping out of the shower. Several months of flirting lead up to this moment and you had imagined it going a whole lot smoother. You can’t help but let your mind consider the worst possible outcome. You didn’t regret it but if Eddie did things in the friend group we’re about to get real fucking awkward. As your brushing you teeth you phone rings from your bedroom. Toothbrush still in hand you run to grab it, you face drops when it’s only Robin.

Robin: did you go home with eddie I need to know dying to find out

Robin: you still coming tonight? You have to so you can tell me everything

You: ill tell you everything tonight

You sit for a moment and contemplate wether or not you should message him. You settle on a simple hi and almost immediately you see his little text bubble pop up and then disappear.

Fuck.

-

Movie night at Steve’s house was something you guys did regularly, most of the group usually attended. Eddie was there most nights so you expected to see him there. He has yet to respond to your message, that was sent several hours ago. You drive yourself to Steve’s house and let your self in, part of you hoping Eddie would be there. He’s not here, of course not.

“Please never let me drink like that again.” You say grabbing Robin who’s sat on the couch and leading her into the empty kitchen.

“Did you go home with Eddie?” Damn Robin always straight to the point.

“He went home with me?” You say like it’s a question.

“Did you two ya know?” You laugh at her inability to say the word sex but then you can’t answer so you’re just as bad.

“You did didn’t you? You don’t seem too happy about it.” Her face riddled with concern.

“Because that motherfucker was gone when I woke up. Left no note or anything. Has yet to respond to my text message and now he’s not here. Clearly he’s avoiding me.” You sigh defeated.

“He is a motherfucker. I ought to show up to his trailer and fuck him up right now.” Robin says seriously causing you to laugh.

“No I’m serious, he’s been pining for you for months now and finally gets what he wants. What you wanted. Can’t even fucking respond to you.” She says pulling out her phone and typing away before pressing send on a text.

“What was that?” You ask.

“Just telling that motherfucker he’s a mother fucker and a lil bitch.”

“Oh my god, you didn’t. Please tell me you didn’t.” You pull her phone out of her hands scanning the screen.

“I did.” She wasn’t lying there you sat reading the text on her phone causing you to cringe.

“Please don’t tell anyone.” You say already embarrassed. She agrees not to tell anyone, even Steve.

-

Eddie never showed up to movie night. Never responded to your text or Robin’s text. Was his plan to ignore the whole group until you moved on? It’s been almost a week since the two of you hooked up and still nothing from him. You’d see him in the hallways at school, avoiding the fuck out of you.

The entire group was talking about you two, wondering why Eddie wasn’t around as much. Only knowing that the last he was seen was leaving the party with you. Trying to connect the dots on their own.

When Robin made plans to hang out Steve’s Friday night you weren’t expecting to see him, just sitting there like nothing had happened. Your phone goes off and it’s Robin.

Robin: trigger warning he’s here

You look up from the text and she’s mouthing ‘too late I’m sorry.’ If Eddie wants to act like nothing happened you could do exactly that. Sitting as far away as possible you start talking with Robin about a unrelated topic.

All things are going okay, chatter between everyone fills the room. Of course your ease dropping trying to hear Eddie’s voice, trying to not make it too obvious. That’s when Steve asks how’s he’s been, where he’s been hiding.

“That’s actually what I wanted to tell you guys.” He says loud enough for everyone to stop talking and give him their full attention.

The last possible thing you could of ever imagined to comes out his mouth, “I have a girlfriend.”

Everyone’s eyes fall on you assuming it must be you. Which makes absolutely no sense because you were not Eddie’s girlfriend. All they know if you left the party a week ago with Eddie and now he has a girlfriend, no wonder they think it’s you. Now your angry, trying so hard to keep your mouth shut. Steve turns to you, “I’ve been waiting for the two of you to-“.

“What the fuck does that have to do with me?” You snap at Steve, standing up. Irritated by this entire situation, grabbing your car keys to leave. Tears start flowing down your face.

“You’re an asshole.” The sound of Robin going off on him is the last thing you hear before leaving Steve’s house. Making the sad drive home upset at the entire situation. Upset how you went off on Steve for assuming you were Eddie’s girlfriend. Upset because a week ago you Eddie was fucking you and now he has a whole ass girlfriend. Once home you run straight up stairs and lay in bed, tears still running down your face.

Your phone dings ands it’s Robin asking if your okay. You respond telling her you’ll be fine. Before texting Steve apologizing for snapping at him because he obviously didn’t deserve it. You make your self more upset when you realize things will never be the same. You’ll never be able to just exist in their friend group again without things being different.

—

You had cried yourself to sleep. The soft sound of glass being tapped on getting louder and louder wakes you up. You rub your eyes trying to gain consciousness. You look to your curtained window, a large dark figure it outside.

“I’m calling the cops right now.” You scream at who ever it is standing outside your window. You reach for your phone only to see several missed notifications. A few from Robin and Steve but the rest from Eddie. He’s begging you to let him in, he’s the creep outside your window.

“Go away Eddie!” You yell louder this time.

“Not until you hear me out.” He says loud his voice muffled through the window. You don’t respond hoping he’d go away but he is persistent.

“I’m not going away till you talk to me.” You sigh giving up and making the slow walk to the front door. You unlock it and open the front door, greeted by a sopping wet Munson. Apparently it had started raining at some point and he was was sat out her for who knows how long. He’s stood there looking like a sad puppy but you’re not about to let him get what he wants so quickly. He’s looking down at you, you can tell his brain is trying to figure out what to say.

“What do you want?” You spit.

“Can I come in?” He asks, rain dripping down his whole body.

“No.”

“Fair enough.” He laughs, when you don’t find it funny he stops laughing.

“I want to apologize.” You look at him waiting for him to continue.

“I don’t have a girlfriend. I just said that because I don’t want you to want me. I thought maybe if you thought I moved on you would do the same. Only the complete opposite happened, everyone gave me shit for doing it that way. Which just solidified how terrible I felt for doing what I did.” He explains.

“You’re smart enough to make it out of this shit hole town. You’re going to do so much with your life. I don’t want to fuck that up for you.”

“Oh my fucking god. Who are you to tell me what’s good for me?” You groan annoyed.

“I care about you enough to know I’m no good for you.”

“If you cared about me so much you wouldn’t have fucked me and disappeared.” You say barely audible because of the tears begging to come out from your eyes.

“I was drunk and kept telling myself it’d be a one time thing. Then I went to leave and you asked me to stay. Which absolutely broke my heart because I knew I really fucked up.” When you don’t respond he continues.

“I fucked up cause I promised myself I wouldn’t let you get dragged into my bullshit but it was too late. You wanting me to stay scared me because no one’s ever wanted me to stay. Always getting kicked out immediately after. When I woke up next to you I was scared so I ran.” Eddie huffs, trying his best not to cry. His wet hair sticking to his face.

“I am scared.” He says this time quietly. You step out into the rain, arms wrap around his waist hugging him tightly.

“There’s no need for that.” You pull away so you can see his face.

“I like you Eddie. Like a lot. That’s all that matters.” You smile as an attempt to reassure him.

“I like you too much.” He smiles softly, looking down at you. You can’t help but roll your eyes letting out a small laugh.

“Just promise me you won’t pull this shit again.”

“I promise.” He says before leaning down to your level to kiss you. He pulls away sooner then you wanted.

“This is amazing but I’m freezing.” He says bringing you back down to earth.

“Shit.” You laugh leading Eddie inside your house, straight to the laundry room. You start undressing, ripping the wet clothes off your body.

“What’re you doing?”

“Hang your clothes over there to dry.” You explain motioning to the clothing drying rack struggling to peel your leggings off, he hesitates for a few moments. At this point your only in your bra and panties, headed towards your bedroom.

“You’re not gonna need them anyways.” You tease. You can no longer see Eddie but he doesn’t waste any time the sound of wet clothes being thrown around.

“Wait!” He hollers back before you hear a loud crash. Next thing you know he’s joining you in your room.

“What happened?” You ask laughing as he’s applying pressure on his shoulder. He’s only wearing his boxers now.

“I ate shit trying to hurry and undress.” He sigh rubbing his shoulder.

“Ohh poor thang.” You coo approaching him.

“Need a kiss to make it feel better?” You tease. He grasps his shoulder and nods yes, his lips pouted. So you do exactly that.

#eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson pov #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie imagine #eddie x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie smut #eddie munson prompt #eddie the freak munson #munson smut #smut #stranger things smut #stranger things x reader #stranger things 4 #stranger things #eddie stranger things

[littlemisslipbalm]

Keeping Up With You

Josh Kiszka x gn!reader

Summary: “Mornings are meant to be spent with you,” Josh blurts out, nerves obvious in his voice. “Soft rock music playing while I bestow a thousand kisses across your body.” 

Or

A coming back together story

A/N: FLLUFFIEST AND ANGSIEST writing to date. The premise of this fic follows along the lyrics of tommy’s party by peach pit. One of my favorite songs so you should go listen as soon as possible.

Word Count: 8.9k | Warnings: breakup angst, alcohol consumption and weed consumption, swearing probably, ANGST and Happy Ending!

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You were running late. Not for anyone’s fault but your own. You didn’t want to go to Sam’s party, and yet, out of obligation or something like spite, you were dragging yourself there. You loved him and you loved all your friends that you were bound to see, but there was a nagging sense in your stomach that you were going to regret the entire night. 

Maybe it was for liquid courage that you cracked a hard kombucha while you had gotten ready and then took a few (three) shots before stumbling out of your front door to the uber you had called half an hour after the start time of the party that was across town. Sam, like all the rich people in your life, chose to live in the nicest part of town and you couldn’t fault him even if it meant your uber cost an extra 10 dollars for the longer drive than if he had his party at a bar downtown like any civilized adult. 

Walking into the party felt kind of like walking back into high school. Out of place somewhere you already didn’t want to be, searching for a lifeline. You saw the one person you’d probably know the best immediately upon entering. Sam was by the door, yammering about how the house needed more lights to the three unwilling participants in his drunken house tour. You called his name, getting his attention before getting pulled into a sloppy hug. You grinned and yelled over the bass-heavy rock “Happy Birthday, dude!” 

Sam grinned back and yelled that there were drinks in the kitchen and to PLEASE help yourself. You bit your lip and gave two thumbs up to him and the people in his little entourage, before slipping past them to his kitchen, where you planned to help yourself, heavily. 

There were more hard kombuchas sprawled across the countertop that were calling your name until a bottle of semi-decent-looking whiskey tucked in the back of the array of alcohol caught your eye. Scrawled messily across the label in black sharpie was the claim “JAKE’S” and you chuckled to yourself before pouring a double shot of it into the compostable disposable cup you had picked up from the stack at the far end of the counter. If it came to blows with that particular Kiszka, you knew you could take him. 

You added in some root beer to the whiskey after checking that no one was around to see it and gulped at the drink, a little spilling down your chin with the amount of vigor you had used. You needed the alcohol haze on your mind to get heavier before you could face anything more at this party. The lights were dim and the music was thumping, people were talking loudly and laughing louder and you felt impossibly alone. And anxious. 

The unknown hand that descended on your shoulder didn’t help the anxiety, but managed to placate the lonliness. You jumped, sloshing a little bit of your drink before whipping around to scold the owner of said hand. 

“You swipe from my whiskey business, trouble?” Jake inquired with an arched brow. 

Your eyes were wide on his face, before glancing down at your cup and back up to him, a bite of your lip overtaking your face. Guilt. 

Jake’s usual casual smirk that he sported in situations where he was comfortable morphed into a grin. There was a tinge of sadness in his face, but he hoped the smile masked it enough. “Oh, c’mon, you know you can always take from my private collection. You’re the only one who can stomach it besides me, anyway.” He pulls you into a side-hug that is stilted but attempting to be comforting. “Wouldn’t have left it out if I didn’t want you to have some.” 

You tried for a smile and took a sip. He’d left it out, hoping you would show. “Thanks, Jake. Your handwriting is atrocious, by the way.” 

Jake’s smirk returns as he chuckles, his hair falling forward from behind his shoulders. It’s gotten long again since you’d last seen him. You didn’t want to think about the last time you’d seen him. Your eyes cast anxiously to the two entrances to the kitchen, searching and double-checking that no one else had come through the doors to surprise you. 

Jake notices and leans into the countertop with his hip. “I was just about to go light up? Care to join?” He lifts up the joint she hadn’t noticed in his hand before. 

“I don’t know…” You start, unsure why you would decline a chance to be away from the crowd already. Maybe how Jake was staring at you, the way he terribly hid his concern for you. Would he try to ask you how you were really? Weed always made him more earnest. But weed could help you, so long as you kept Jake away from certain talking points. All this going through your mind and what you swore was a certain head of curls pushing through the crowd at the far door of the kitchen made you say, “Uh, sure. Let’s do it.” 

Jake went to say something in the way of how pleased he was, but just a quiet squeak came out when you quickly began to move out of the kitchen and away from the approaching curls. You grabbed Jake’s hand with the joint in it by the wrist and flipped on your heel, leading him out of the kitchen door you had entered through. You weaved through the people in the hallway, towards the closed door to the side yard where the light was off. It was unlocked thankfully and you quickly felt around the exterior wall for a switch you knew was there, before the empty outdoor space was illuminated. The music was muffled once the door was shut and you sat on the measly single concrete step below the door. 

“Sam should really do something with this space,” you mumble, feeling capable of breathing and thinking and living once more. 

Jake shrugged and leaned against the wall, looking down at you and then around the empty side yard. It was an afterthought, but why did you care? He was still trying to catch his breath from the sprint you had just performed to get you out of the house in what seemed like 5 seconds flat. 

“I don’t think I’ve moved that quickly outside of a motorized vehicle in years.” Jake sighed. 

“You should get a Peloton. It’s great.” 

“I work out,” Jake says indignantly. “You just fucking flew, though.” Then he adds. “I didn’t know you had a Peloton.”  

You shuffle your feet, staring at them as they move in no particular pattern. “Yeah…it was a gift.” You cough. “It’s a great stress reliever as well as a workout machine.” 

Jake hums, a wave of realization washes over him as his eyes watch you, clumsily messing with your feet and your free hand. He doesn’t say anything else on the subject, though, and brings the joint to his lips, slipping his shiny silver zippo from his back pocket. It lights and he puffs on the filter. 

There was no breeze tonight. No stars and no moon. It was like the sky had taken the night off–which you weren’t sure was allowed. And yet, there it was, endless black. Your hand expertly took the joint from Jake’s outstretched fingers. 

“I’ve been on a T-break for the last few months,” you say when you hand back the joint. 

Jake raises a brow again as he begins to puff on it again. 

“Well, I said I quit, but here I am getting high, so it must’ve been a T-break.” 

Jake chuckles and coughs a little on the smoke that catches in his throat from his laughter. You grimace in silent apology, accepting the joint back. Jake asks one single question for the remainder of the joint and for that you are grateful, even if it’s one of the worst questions he could’ve asked. After he asks it, he’ll leave you alone, but it’s killing him not to know. Or at least, try to know. You had been such a good friend to him and he missed having you around lately. He knew he couldn’t say that though. It wasn’t his place, but still one measly question couldn’t hurt. 

He was lucky you were feeling so light and airy from the weed when he asked. If he had tried the question when you had first arrived or when he found you in the kitchen, you’re pretty sure you would’ve turned tail and run home crying. 

“How are you really doing?” He inquires. 

“I’m really high.” You laugh. 

Jake sits beside you and turns his head, holding the joint out to the ground for ash to fall and the weed to burn with no lips around it to inhale the smoke. He says your name once and you know he’s serious. 

You sigh and stick your legs out straight in front of you, your skirt flattens across your thighs nicely but you smooth your hands across it anyway and then grab at your drink beside you to take a sip. It’s almost empty. You look in his eyes for a moment and there’s that sadness and concern again. 

“Did not want to come.” You say and Jake nods. “Came. For Sam.” You clarify and Jake nods again. “I know I’ll see him eventually. It’s fine. I’m fine.” 

Jake nods and pats a hand gingerly on your shoulder and you grimace at your lap. He was trying so hard to navigate a difficult situation and you admired his courage. 

“Thank you, Jake. For the smoke.” You say and pause, mustering your courage to just blurt it out. You stare at the wooden fence across from you. “And for being my friend, still. You’re a good guy.” 

Jake shakes his head and pokes out the joint, not interested in smoking it anymore. “And you are too. A good friend…who deserves happiness.” 

Your lips spread into a smile and you look at Jake in the eye for a moment before knocking your forehead against his own shoulder. Something you always appreciated about Jake was his ability to understand non-verbal communication. He allowed you to do that and understand it was you thanking him. Even if you couldn’t say more on the topic. He knew. 

Jake blew out a breath after a moment, “Jesus, fuck, I’m high as shit.” 

You giggle and it feels louder and sillier than anything you’d done all night. Oh fuck. “Yeah. I think I am too. Good stuff.” 

“Josh’s,” Jake mumbles, moving to crawl back to standing, he needed water. “Sorry.” He mumbled with widened eyes when he realized the word, the name, that had left his mouth. 

You roll your eyes and hold your arms out for Jake to help you stand. “He’s not some super-villain. Just my ex and your twin. You can say his name.” 

Your eyes matched Jake’s red and droopy eyes as you stared at each other once he brought you to standing, both of you taking in each other’s state. It’s tense and quiet, the thumping music heavy at the door. 

You keep your hands in Jake’s, enjoying his warm caloused hands. So much like someone else’s, yet so different. “Do we have to go back in?” 

“I mean…” Jake looked down his nose at you. His voice dropped lower to a raspy almost-whisper. “We should probably go back. Right?”

You smile lazily at Jake and then drop his eye contact, looking at your feet, how close the two of you were standing, and then taking a step back. He was giving you the option, but you both knew there was only one right answer. 

“Back inside it is.” You add a laugh to try to not sound too bleak. “To face the gallows.” 

“I still think you’d make it as a comedian, trouble,” Jake adds. 

The tension dissipates. Whatever crack in the wall that was there, a tiny possibility that could’ve grown if you wanted, was patched over and covered. Forgotten. You and Jake were friends. A lot of shared history and a lot of understanding, but it was better this way. 

“My one man show,” you say, shaking off the memories of when it was a duo act. You and Josh loved a good bit and would drag them out as long as you could, staying in character for entire nights out or, once, an entire week during a family vacation. “I’m good, man.” You reassure Jake when he looks at you concerned again, with his hand on the door handle. 

The music grows louder but is more muffled than before as the weed and alcohol successfully contain you in their all consuming bubble. You were thankful for the moment to gather yourself and to remind you that facing Josh might not be all that horrible. You could do anything when stoned, this was something you truly believed especially when the high was in its starting area, when you were first plunged into the strange warm fuzzy place in your brain. 

Jake’s hand on your back pushed you through the crowd and you heard the words “refill” and “water” leave his lips so you began to wander towards the kitchen again. Once back, you’re mildly disappointed to see it’s not empty. It’s not crowded, there’s just three other small groups of twos and threes getting refills or lingering after having gotten their refills. The night was progressing, meaning more inebriation caused more plans to be forgotten half way through. Expert missions of moving from one area of the house to the next were abandoned when the roadmaps slipped from the de facto leader of the small groups’ brain when they had another sip of their drink of choice. You knew because you used to come to parties like these with groups.

Now you were a lone shark, or maybe just the remora to Jake’s lone shark, attaching yourself to him, just along for the ride as he made the decisions. He expertly slipped past the huddled groups without interactions, just nods of chin and his smirk. You noticed some of the whispers and shared looks from some of the people in those groups as you passed by, but chose to believe they were about how handsome and mysterious Jake was and not how you were with him. 

Jake looked between the faucet and the cups he had forgotten were at the end of the counter, debating whether he would go back for one or not. Shaking his head after a moment of weighted silence, he opened the cupboard to the right of the sink and grabbed one of Sam’s precious souvenir pint glasses and filled it with water. You watched in mild awe that Jake did not fear his little brother’s annoying nagging if caught and desire for water to touch your cotton-mouth-y, well, mouth. 

Jake stuck the glass under the faucet again and refilled it before holding it out towards you and you smiled. Accepting the glass, you turned it in your hand, observing the etching of Snoopy and Woodstock dressed as chefs holding a gigantic sandwich with the word ‘Philadelphia’ in red bold letters above them. Sam was weird, but you respected his collection. You’d even gifted him a ‘San Francisco’ one for Christmas a couple years ago with Snoopy and the Peanuts dressed up for a Giants game. 

You sipped at the water and let it wash into the various pockets of your mouth before swallowing, humming in satisfaction. “Good stuff.” You repeated.

“Only the best.” Jake responds. “Whiskey time?” 

He doesn’t wait for your answer since you're drinking more of the water. He picks up your abandoned cup and his own and snatches his whiskey from behind the more popular liquors: grey goose vodka in multiple flavors besides the classic, a few okay gins and tequila–tons of it. 

You take the cup filled with whiskey straight and you grimace. You weren’t in the mood to drink much more, feeling plenty fucked up, and you definitely weren’t in the mood to stomach whiskey on its own. You do an obligatory cheers motion with Jake and pretend to take a sip. 

“I forgot to tell you,” Jake suddenly says with a burst of energy and you widen your eyes, startled. “We’re doing a set later.” 

“What?” 

“Sam wants to, for his birthday. Have a jam sesh.” Jake shrugs and slips his phone out of his coat pocket, checking the time. “Honestly should probably check the setup, make sure no one trampled the gear. C’mon.” 

You would think professional musicians would want a break from their job for their birthdays, but these guys loved it so much it was hard to keep them away. Plus, knowing Sam, he’d probably insisted on choosing the set list, making Jake and Josh take a reluctant backseat to what they would play. Were you intrigued? Yes. Completely and utterly apprehensive to watch Josh perform? Double yes.

You followed Jake out of the kitchen and through the bodies in the living room towards the open French doors leading to the patio and backyard. Sam had a temporary stage set up at the back of the yard that no one was standing on or messing with besides Danny who was checking his drum kit was okay already. Everything on the stage was secondary personal stuff, none of it their expensive favorites, but it still wouldn’t be great if any of it got wrecked. 

A boisterous and booming laugh took your eyes off of Danny and made you fall out of step with Jake. Right beside the stage was Josh, grin plastered across his face and beer can sloshing haphazardly as he swung his arms wide as he regaled his small group with a big important story he dramatized to be even grander than it had been. 

Your eyes scanned the group surrounding him, focusing hard to make out the faces in the dim light as you tried to keep walking, following blindly behind Jake who was pausing at the edge of the stage on the opposite end from Josh. You swallow hard and debate taking another sip of the whiskey, but decide it won’t help. Your legs finally bring you to standing awkwardly beside, but slightly behind, Jake as he talks with Danny. You positioned yourself to be slightly in Jake’s shadow unintentionally. 

Danny greets you and your eyes flicker to him for a moment before returning to Josh, just a few feet from you now, but he still hasn’t seen you. You mumble a ‘hi’ and Jake explains for you that you were likely on a different planet from the joint you had shared. You nodded perfunctorily and then stuck your cup into Jake’s chest. 

“I can’t drink this,” you say, barely above a whisper, still watching Josh. 

He was winding down from the story, you could tell. His audience was enraptured, with one particular girl close by his side that you didn’t recognize. She was grinning, shiny and bright as she watched Josh in all his inebriated glory. In his element. Entertaining. It was magic to be so close to him in those moments, how it felt spiritual when he caught your eye inches away. How his teeth seemed to smile just for you when he placed his hand on your shoulder. 

And there it was. Josh rested his arm around the beautiful girl’s shoulders, palm pressing her closer to him as he laughed and grinned. She smiled at him and you swore you saw him wink. It was drunken and dopey, but you saw it. 

You hadn’t felt Jake take the cup from your grasp, but your hand fell to your side, now empty. Danny and Jake followed your eyeline and then met each other’s eyes and frowned a little. 

“How about you sit right here?” Jake huddled you towards a lawn chair that was close to the stage, but against the house wall so no one would bump into it. 

“So I get a front row seat to it all?” You mumble miserably. 

“Here,” Danny says, passing his hyrdroflask from behind the drum kit to Jake, who hands it to you, flipping the mouthpiece open and instructing you to drink. 

You should’ve left once you could feel your legs again, but you couldn’t stop staring. Thankfully, Josh hadn’t noticed. You probably would’ve died on the spot if he had caught your intense eye. Instead he gives the girl a squeeze and mumbles something into her ear. She laughs loudly and stumbles on her feet a little as she steps back from him. Josh turns towards the stage and clambers onto the top of it. If it wasn’t clear to you before, his lack of agility cemented it. He was close to belligerent, but holding himself together well. 

It would be laughable when he almost tilts over right after he’s stood upright finally, but you’re not the person who can find that funny anymore without seeming cruel. Instead, you decide to take a sip of Danny’s water and shut your eyes, tilting your head back against the wall, hoping to ride out the rest of this night in a strange detached state. If no one spoke to you for the rest of the night you would be happy. 

You willed away the disparate images passing behind your shut eyelids. A different reality your mind had conjured up specifically to torture you it seemed. Where you were beside Josh just then and the two of you had tumbled up onto the stage. First you guide his hips up and then he pulls you up after him, the pair of you happily and drunkenly falling over one another, tangling yourselves up into a few cables in the process. You two were laughing through it all and then Josh would stop and smile the smile that was just for you, a special gleam of love in his eyes you’d grown used to. He’d cup your cheeks between his palms and pull your face to his, a big blistering kiss bestowed upon your lips quieting your own laughter. It would lead you to falling deeper into love with the man who really saw you and forgetting where you were. And then the boys would holler at the pair of you and you’d hide your face in Josh’s jacket before he’d help you up, with a pat to your bum before you inevitably made it back to the seat you were in now. 

No. Now there was only this chair. And a borrowed water bottle to touch your lips. Fuck. You moved your mind to your escape plan. 

The music would start soon anyway and then you could probably slip out to call an uber after a few songs. You heard Sam join the rest of the band on the wooden stage a few minutes later, his long legs thumping as he jumped up onto the stage and his drunken voice louder and whinier as he asked Danny to check his bass for him, since he was the birthday boy. 

You peek out of one eye, too amused to miss the visuals of this exchange and see Danny shaking his head and muttering under his breath as he picks up Sam’s bass. Sam is smiling triumphantly with his hands on his hips, tapping his foot impatiently like the prince he was. Then your eyes slide to the right and see Jake and Josh huddled around Jake’s amp. 

Just close your eyes. But you can’t. 

Josh is all antsy. He’s waving his hands about and rocking Jake’s shoulders. Jake’s murmuring words below his breath trying to placate whatever situation his twin seems to be troubled by. You know it’s wrong to strain your ears to hear the conversation but you can’t help it. 

“…just aren’t really my thing.” You catch the end of Josh’s slurred sentence. He’s still grinning as he complains.

Jake shakes his head. “They’re Sam’s thing since it’s Sam’s birthday.”

“I know we agreed to it but can’t we just, I don’t know, not?” 

Jake laughed a little and tried to hide it with a cough, his eyes sliding to you for a quick moment. “Josh, it’s like 5 songs.”

“I’m slammed, man,” Josh stumbles on his footing, adding to his case accidentally.

“Just sing the choruses and then hit some high notes. He wants to jam anyway, you’re not on frontman duty tonight.” 

“Oh please, Jake. I’m always on frontman—“ Josh’s train of thought runs off the tracks when his eyes finally catch yours. 

You freeze. You weren’t moving anyway but you freeze all the same. Blood runs cold. Spine rigid. You don’t know how to breathe and you were right. You are going to die. 

Josh is frozen too and Jake watches it unfold. Both of your faces were completely open with the pain. You could see it around the eyebrows and the lips and how it swelled through the irises of your eyes as you looked at one another. 

Someone smashing a beer can followed by the electric thrum of a bassline makes you bring your free hand up in the air. It’s supposed to be a wave as it travels to the height of your head and then loses momentum, pausing for a moment as Josh’s eyes flicker to the movement before it falls again. 

You drop your gaze to your lap while Josh stays on you. His similarly intense gaze burns you. He wants to come talk to you even though he has absolutely no idea what he’d say to you anyway. His feet even begin to lurch towards the end of the stage nearest you, but Jake pulls him back. 

That succession of chords on Sam’s bass was his signal that he wanted to get the jam session started. It was followed by a verbal announcement from the birthday boy as well.

“Everyone come outside now. It’s time to hear me play sweet sweet music for you.” Sam says into the mic before handing it off to Josh.

Josh looks over at you one more time but you make sure your eyes are anywhere else on the stage but his face. He licks his lips and swaggers to center stage. 

“Friends and family, loved and loathed ones, day trippers and moonbeam chasers,” Josh pauses for the roar of the crowd. Smaller than their concerts, obviously, but still spirited for the size of this party. “What a glorious fucking night to celebrate the birth of the youngest Kiszka.” 

Maybe Danny expected Josh to say more because there’s a pause before the drum kicks in. Josh turns on his heel to face Danny and signals him to start. Danny counts them in and Jake walks them into a perfect cover of “The Lemon Song.” 

Josh hated doing Led Zeppelin covers but Sam loved the bassline on this song. He’d been obsessed with it when he first started playing and Jake enjoyed the guitar on it too. So here Josh was, proving every critic correct that he could sound just like Robert Plant. Jake shredded away on Jimmy’s solo chords and then lowered his amp for an extended moment to give Sam a proper bass solo. And Josh admittedly got into the song, feeling the vibrations through his chest, getting lost on stage. 

They transitioned straight into “Cold Cold Cold” and “Feel Good Inc.” Both with heavy basslines. Josh liked these two because he got to use his tambourine in the first and had few words in the second. He also skipped a lot of the words in the songs, not knowing them, but holding the microphone towards the crowd, telling them to sing along when it was the chorus or popular parts of them. 

Then they took a break. Normally Josh might joke around. Tell a story about Sam when he was a weird little kid. Instead, he just took a swig from his beer beside the unutilized mic stand and talked in Jake’s ear until Sam signaled he was ready to continue. He had moved to the keyboard he had also brought out for the evening. 

“This one’s a little on the nose but, hey, what little bro wants, little bro gets.” 

Josh started singing the first verse of “I’m going to be a teenage idol” and you grimaced. You loved Elton John and if you thought more highly of yourself you would’ve thought Josh’s reluctance to sing this song was because it reminded him of you. 

He tritely pointed to himself when he sang “it kind of makes me feel like a rock and roll star.” He paced around the stage, continuously sweeping his hands towards Sam as he expertly played the hard keys for the song. He sipped at his beer and belted one of the later verses with a passion that masked what you knew was sadness. Josh was a professional, so he knew how to keep his shit together even when he was drunk, but he wanted off this stage and you knew it. 

Then the song ended. Your eyes watching Josh’s demeanor shift. “Thankfully this one isn’t…or is it?” 

“Psycho Killer” started up and you couldn’t help the laugh that came past your lips. You pressed your hand to your mouth, feeling like you were betraying yourself. Josh hadn’t looked your way since they had started but somehow either his trained ear heard that or he had some psychic sense, because he stared at you again, faltering on the classic song’s lyrics. 

Given the conversation you eavesdropped on, you weren’t sure if they had planned to play “Happiness is a Warm Gun” but they transitioned into it seamlessly from the last so they didn’t stop and Josh knew all the words. You two had listened to the Beatles’ white album countless times together. It was your favorite of theirs. You’d put it on all the time with Josh and he’d happily listen along, always acquiescing to your arguments about it even though he preferred Let It Be. On lazy Sunday mornings when you never got out of bed until dinner time. On the road, for tour or for road-trips you’d take together up to the cabin or little Airbnbs you’d found in cool spots. 

This wasn’t your song though and for that you were thankful. You might’ve thrown up if for some reason Sam had added that to the setlist. You might’ve found a way to time travel and kill Paul McCartney before he could add a bassline to that song if that would’ve stopped that. You’d give up the existence of that song before Josh sang it in front of a small crowd where you weren’t the one he was singing it for anymore.  

Again, your imagination was running wild tonight. Seeing Josh’s beautiful face brought back every memory you had with him. The last few years had been the best years of your life. Meaning that these past few months have been the hardest of your life. Half the time you weren’t even sure if it was life anymore.

So many memories were from nights just like tonight, but he wouldn’t be some distant figure causing building anxiety as you steal glances at one another from across the yard. You used to be the one keeping up with him, telling stories together and getting drunk to aid in your fun rather than to run away from your hangups. Stealing kisses and sneaking off to empty hallways or plain taking off early to be alone together again. 

You couldn’t help getting lost in the sound of Jake making the guitar riffs his own, the velvet of Josh’s voice and how all four of them meshed their instruments so expertly, making any song something special. Your eyes had shut and you were swaying in your seat to the music. Loving it. This piece of connection could never be severed. All your silly feelings forgotten for one blissful moment before the music came to an abrupt and cruel end. 

Sam took the mic from Josh who almost let it carelessly fall to the floor. “Thank you all for coming! Love you guys!” Sam quickly called before being pulled off the stage by his girlfriend who was eager to make out with her man. 

You grimaced. You knew how she felt. Goddamnit. 

Josh doesn’t immediately come up to you. Not that you were hoping for that. You actually were dreading the moment when you two finally spoke again. You two hadn’t had much contact since the breakup, so your last verbal conversation had been about you picking up the rest of your stuff from his place in December. Over the phone. You still had a key so you came when he was out. 

You pinched the bridge of your nose and sat forward, willing those memories to stay put in the locked cabinet you were never going to revisit. Leaving seemed like a good idea now. You’d paid your birthday dues, shown up and even stayed for the show. Slipping off seemed ideal. You just needed to return Danny’s water bottle to him. 

He was still at the bandstand, in front of his drum kit with Jake and another guy from their work, Brian (you think). You stood, feeling a little better but still pretty high given your major break from the drug prior to tonight. You blinked a few times, double checking that none of the guys in the small huddle transformed into Josh suddenly before you got to them. 

Jake gave you a hand up onto the stage and you thanked him, before handing Danny his water and thanking him for it as well. He reassures you that it was his pleasure and then he thanked you for leaving him water in it. He was a wonder to you and you smiled genuinely at his kindness. You missed him. You missed all of them. 

You rocked on your heels and fidgeted your hands to rest on your hips. “Well, I’m gonna head out I think. This was plenty for me and my old self.” You proclaim when the conversation lulls. 

Jake nods, not even trying to get you to stay, whereas Maybe Brian protests, saying the night was still young. Danny shoots him a look with a subtle head shake and you smile at your feet. These guys still had your back and for that you were grateful. You hugged Danny and told him to tell Sam goodbye for you in case you didn’t bump into him on your way out. As you were leaning into Jake’s warm side for the second time tonight, a voice interrupts the farewells. 

“Dan, have you seen my elf–” Josh stops talking again, eyes widening on your face. 

You don’t freeze this time, immediately dropping away from Jake. It wasn’t wrong, but you also couldn’t face Josh while touching his twin. Josh must have missed you within the group, hidden among the taller men. 

“Hey, I was just leaving,” You say, your voice quivering a little with nerves, barely aware of what you were saying. 

“Hello,” Josh slurs after a weighted moment. His eyes slid along your face and down your entire body, as if they had been starved of you since he’d last looked at you. He looks away, back to Danny. “I think, perhaps, I left it in the kitchen. Thanks Daniel.” He flips on his heel and wanders off. 

You can’t help but watch him go. It’s not your fault your eyeline is directly aligned with where the girl from earlier is positioned right next to the door to inside. Or that you catch how he pulls her back into his side and she laughs at whatever he has said just for her. It was right in front of you. What were you supposed to do? Tear your eyeballs out? Now that’s a thought. 

His bright mustard jacket eventually disappears between the various bodies and his hair is obscured by the dim lights in the house. He’s gone, laughing with her just like you two used to.

“Well, if that’s not my cue,” You let the silence that follows finish your thought for you. 

Jake apologizes for Josh and you tell him it’s not necessary. Really. It’s been five months. It was mutual. If anything it was you who initiated it. If Josh can’t speak to you or if he’s seeing someone new. That’s just fine. Fine. So fine. 

Your uber takes you home and you don’t cry. You don’t let yourself. Something possesses you in the morning to type out an email though. You’re not sure why you don’t just send a text. The email feels less personal, less intimate than a text. Less risky. And somehow more private. It was almost like sending a letter, which you used to send Josh on occasion–of course, those were love letters. 

Hey there bud… You look at the words and almost throw your computer out of the window. Bud? Bud!? You couldn’t write anything else though, anything less was too little, too strange, anything more, like his name, was too intimate, too much. 

How’d it go last night?

Your love letters used to read like poetry and you guessed this was kind of like that, but it wasn’t a love letter. You still could just save it as a draft and never send it after all. 

I saw you at the bandstand looking pretty slammed. You used the exact word Josh had described himself last night. It had been repeating in your mind all night. Did you see me feeding my drink to Jake? Probably not I guess, you were quite the mess. And that girl who tagged along there with you, I never caught her name, but she seemed fucked up too. 

You read it over and thought that it was maybe too harsh. But it was the truth. You needed to get it off your chest. He hadn’t let you talk last night so you wanted to share your night with him now even if you hadn’t gotten to last night. 

From where I sat, she looked to be havin’ fun, keeping up with you just like I used to. 

How’d it go last night? I’m sorry to have ditched out but I was pretty high. Heard from Danny that on his stumble home, Jake was puking up all the shit he’d drunk. 

Though we didn’t talk much, how’d your evening go? You barely spoke a word to me, besides that slurred “Hello”... I happened to see without even trying, how she laughed with you just like I used to. 

You were rambling, you couldn’t get it all out. But you cut yourself off. That was all you could say. So you read it over about five more times and changed a few commas and added spacing and you wondered if Josh would think you had gone off the deep end with this one. Your first form of communication with him in months. By e-mail for some reason. 

The thought of not sending it crossed your mind a few more times before you took a breath and hovered the mouse over the ‘Send’ button. Finally clicking it when you finished the exhale. You wanted him to know. 

-

When Josh woke up, close to noon with an awful hangover and an unfamiliar bed, he groaned and covered his face when the headache pounded against his skull harder. 

“Fuck my life,” he murmured. He rolled from his back to his side, his legs swinging to tether him to the carpeted floor. Where the fuck was he?

“You’re awake!” The girl popped her head in, her hair wet from the shower she had just taken. “Do you want breakfast? Or coffee?”

“Uh…” Josh stared at his feet, wiggling his toes to remind him of reality. “No, I should go home.”

She smiles, sporting her best look, as if last night hadn’t emotionally wrecked her like it had Josh. That actually made sense. “Yeah. See you again soon?” 

“Yeah. I’ll call you…” Josh reassures, beginning to put his pants on. His words were an afterthought as he pieced together last night's events. “Have fun at your ceramics class today!”

He shuffled out of the door just as she responded, towel still messing with her tips. “It’s painting!”

Josh mumbled his apologies as he walked down the street hoping that his car would pop up among the different vehicles parked on the street. He definitely hadn’t driven there after the party but maybe he had brought his car to her place beforehand. He was still working through the night. And his mind was focused on all the moments where you had popped up. 

He’d seen you disappear out of the kitchen with his brother. He’d seen you next to the bandstand a couple times and then he’d seen you when he’d drunkenly asked Danny if he’d seen his elfbar. Could he be more of an idiot? He rubbed at his pained forehead again as he looked up and down the street once more before deciding that he hadn’t driven his car to this woman’s house. 

They’d gone out on a couple of dates, set up by mutual friends that were closer with her than Josh but he was trying and he wanted to try. Even if all he really wanted to do was call you and beg you to forget about the last few months. 

Too focused on making it home and one to always dismiss his email notifications, Josh didn’t notice the message from you until he had made it home and successfully made himself a pot of coffee and had a necessary shower, leaving him in his sweatpants and curled up in his bed that used to be shared, ‘ours’. 

His phone had been charging so he unplugged it and rolled to the other side of the bed, which he still felt guilty for. Like you’d walk through the door any moment and playfully grumble at him for being a bed hog. 

Complete privacy and total boredom eventually made him check his e-mail. He might have a package coming after all, he couldn’t remember, and his headache had mostly cleared away but looming anxieties nagged at him. He couldn’t keep getting drunk and hooking up with his casual flings. It was going to catch up with him and he knew it. He just hated to admit it.

Your name on his screen was especially sobering. He had longed for it to pop up. Preferably in a phone call or text format, asking to meet up and talk over everything one more time that actually leads to you getting back together. But hey, he’d settle for an e-mail at this point. Because that is what he had received. 

He took a deep breath and allowed his hovering thumb to click down on it. It was your poem/accusation and he read it over and over double checking that it was indeed your words and not lyrics from a song or someone else. No, he recognized your voice in the words and how you phrased it. The ‘hey there bud’ made him laugh. You were so weird. He missed it. 

All the love letters were in his side table drawer still. Maybe it would’ve been healthier to move them to a box not so close to where he slept, but he couldn’t bear it. You used to post them from around town so that they could get sent to the house you both lived in. It sent him over the moon whenever he recognized your handwriting of his name on the front of a piece of mail and you’d giggle behind your cup of coffee, slyly slinking off to let him read it in private. 

After he’d finish reading, he’d wander the house until he found you and press kisses all over your face while he repeated confessions of love, over and over while you shrieked and laughed at his attack of love.  

This e-mail made him sad, but also hopeful. He was going to reply. 

Hey there…How’d last night go for you? I know when I saw you at the bandstand, I said I was slammed to Jake. Did you overhear or is that just some strange coincidence? I probably should’ve given some of my drinks away. I was quite the mess, you’re right. 

And the girl…she’s a part of the mistakes I’ve been making since the break up. I’m sorry you had to see that. And I’m sorry all I said was Hello. I didn’t know what to say…as you could probably tell. Josh smiled down at his phone, your eyes had been so wide with surprise upon seeing him up so close. The look on your face had been a dagger to his heart, twisting deeper when you said you were heading out. 

I was thinking back just the other day, remember when we used to sneak out late to go and blaze after everyone else at the party had gone home or passed out? 

Seems like loneliness is all we’ll ever do now. At least for me. Maybe you weren’t lonely, I don’t want to assume. I was surrounded by people all night, these past four months too, and I’ve never felt more alone. 

I’m glad you messaged me. I’m sorry I didn’t do it first. He wondered if he should add the next piece. Was it wrong? Should he leave it at that. The stabbing pain in his chest returned and he wanted to be brave for you. Just for the chance, you could shoot him down but he’d know that he’d tried. I’ve been going to a new coffee place downtown. Northside CoffeeHouse. I think you’d like it. They make the cinnamon rolls just the way you like. 

Josh swallowed hard and sent the email before he could think too hard about it. He hoped he wasn’t being presumptuous that you would remember his routine. Coffee out on weekends usually between 9 and 10. 

You read over the email that came through from Josh a few times. His mention of loneliness made your heart sink, you hated to think of Josh carrying a pain like yours. The thought kind of hurt more than your own heartbreak. 

You knew what he was saying with his mention of the coffeeshop. Tomorrow he’d probably be there if you went when he used to. Josh was secretly a creature of habit despite advocating for chaos most of the time. 

Josh arrived at Northside at 9 am sharp, just in case you came on the early side. He patiently waited in the line for coffee and took a seat by the window. He checked his phone every few minutes, confused why time suddenly moved so slow. 

He remembered the first coffee date you had gone on with him. You both had been late so he should’ve known then that you were the one for him. He showed up twenty minutes late (ten by accident and then an extra ten getting apology flowers) and you ran in five minutes later, out of breath, apologizing that you were so late. Josh was overjoyed to tell you he’d also been late and was so extremely worried about you not being there when he’d arrive. He picked up the flowers on the table and handed them to you, shyly explaining he’d gotten extra late grabbing these and you’d laughed, glancing between the plants and the strangely bashful guy in front of you. You’d been hooked ever since. 

You had been introduced to Josh when you had gotten invited to tagalong with a work friend to a VIP section of a concert series in Nashville. Josh and his brothers had been there and somehow your friend had run into them a few times at stuff like this. You hadn’t initially realized Josh was hitting on you as you talked the evening away with him about all things music and your very different jobs so you were surprised when he asked you out on the coffee date, but you hadn’t declined. Afterall, he was Josh. 

The rest, as they say, is history. Much to your chagrin. You replayed that first date over and over as you paced up and down the cross street for the coffee shop you assumed Josh was now waiting for you at. 

With a single white Peruvian lily clutched in your hand, you finally turned the corner and marched yourself into the coffee shop. You didn’t look in the windows, you were too focused on getting yourself through the door so you had to look around the room for Josh after entering. Your hand was holding so tightly to the flower’s stem you worried you’d break it if you didn’t set it down soon.  

His back was facing you, he’d been looking down the other side of the street and had no idea you’d entered as he was beginning to resign himself to the fact that maybe you didn’t want to see him. It was almost 10 am when you arrived. 

“Josh,” you sigh, hand touching his shoulder as you turn to face them. 

He looks up and the smile on his face almost brings tears to your eyes. It’s the one you’ve missed so much. You can’t help the frown that it brings to your face as you will away the tears. 

“Hey, hey, don’t cry,” Josh says, standing to hug you because he knew your facial expressions by heart too. 

You laugh and the stem in your hand finally snaps at his touch. It’s too much. Josh pulls back and looks down at your hand and laughs for a different reason. He motions to the table and your eyes sweep the two empty coffee cups he must have drank waiting for you, his phone and a bouquet of the very same flower, just like the ones he’d given you three and a half years ago. 

“Can I go order you something?” Josh asks softly. “I didn’t want to order the cinnamon roll until you got here. I wanted it to still be warm.” 

You bite your lip. He was still so sweet and thoughtful. You laugh again and nod your head. He knew you needed a moment to ground yourself so he let you have some time to yourself. He walked to the counter and ordered what you always got and a cinnamon roll to share. 

You placed your broken flower with his bouquet, your hands ran gently over the pearly petals, careful not to cause any dents or creases. After studying them, you feel a little less overwhelmed and you lift your head to watch Josh. He’s paying with cash and you’re endeared how he still clumsily handles the coins despite how often he likes to pay with physical money. 

He thanks the barista who was now very accustomed to Josh, considering it was his third time up at the counter in the last hour. You smile sheepishly at Josh as he smooths his palms down his khakis, coming back to you. 

Your conversation is stilted while he waits for his name to be called. He doesn’t want to get into the nitty gritty when he knows there’s an impending interupter. You thank him for the flowers and apologize for your broken attempt. 

He smiles down at the baker's dozen of flowers. “I like it. Here.” His fingers delicately move the broken pieces back into place and then moves your single flower into the center of the bouquet. “It’s all patched up now.” 

You smile and meet his eyes, knowing the Josh metaphor he was trying to obviously make. His name is called saving you from saying more on the subject for the moment. He hands you your drink and places one fork facing you and one facing him on the edge of the cinnamon roll’s box. You thank him again and he hushes you, saying you didn’t need to keep thanking him. 

You quiet as you try the treat. Josh watches your reaction with barely contained glee, knowing you’d loved it. You had missed this feeling. This feeling of someone knowing you so well. How Josh took care of you and how, in return, you took care of him. You grinned, reassuring him that yes it was great. 

You quiet down again about the food. Josh and you smile at one another and it feels like nothing has changed. You want to believe it. 

“Mornings are meant to be spent with you,” Josh blurts out, nerves obvious in his voice. “Soft rock music playing while I bestow a thousand kisses across your body.” 

“There’s the Josh I know,” you tease but you’re beaming at him. 

Flashes of the mornings he was referencing came to mind. 

Josh curled around you or you curled around Josh, Velvet Underground and Grateful Dead records on. Sunlight filtering across the floral sheets you’d bought for him as a welcome back from tour present after Dreams in Gold. Smooth skin against skin as Josh presses kisses to your forehead and yours against his sternum. He’s laughing when you tickle him and you laugh too, happy to be keeping up with him. Just like you used to. 

-

lmk what you think!

taglist: @ofthecaravel @malany-gvf @whiterosekiszka @jaketlove @sinarainbows @gretavanfreaky

#josh kiskza fanfic #josh kiszka fic #josh kiszka x reader #josh kiszka x y/n #josh kiszka x you #josh kiszka fanfiction #josh kiszka fluff #josh kiszka angst #greta van fic #greta van fluff #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet fan fiction #greta van fleet x reader #greta van fleet imagine

[mrs-monaghan]

Shaz, i am so happy right now and you have no idea how much! Not just because we were finally able to see Jk on Live after such a long time but because of how genuinely happy he looked! I haven’t seen him this happy and radiant in a while! I remember watching his Lives around February and March and thinking he was going through something! All the drunken Lives, falling asleep on Live, getting visibly emotional on Live, asking Army to always he happy, Shaz Jk was NOT ok! And I understand that he was probably also having a hard time adjusting to all the changes and he was probably missing the group all together but in hindsight, what was most difficult for him was probably being away from Jimin for so long! I don’t think many people have actually taken the time to sit and think about just how glued to eo those two used to be! This was probably the first time since debut that he had to be apart from Jimin for so long!

We all know Jimin is a workaholic and that man will literally spend days on end to perfect his craft if he has to! He told us he worked on his album for 10 months and while working on his album, he mostly stayed with his producers! Now imagine Jk who for years, has been so used to being around Jimin almost all the time, spending his nights with him and basically just having him around whenever he needed or wanted him! Imagine him having to adjust to not spending the night with Jimin or drinking with Jimin when he wants to and just being in Jimin’s presence! This is something he had been used to for more than 10 YEARS.

Say what you want, call me delulu but Jk missed Jimin like CRAZY! You know how i can tell? Compare this Live today with all his previous Lives since February and tell me you don’t see a HUGE difference! Jk is glowing, he looks happy, he looks healthy, he looks well rested and most importantly, he looks well FED (if you know what i mean)😏😉. Being with someone you love really does something to you!

Now for all those people running around like headless chickens claiming Jk and JM broke up or hate eo and don’t interact in real life, do u see how stupid y’all look? Jk spent a better part of this break hanging out with Tae and his friends but he always looked so sad and lonely and kinda miserable (no offense to Tae and his friends) but there are certain things that not just anybody can give u! Jk certainly loves his friend Tae and enjoys hanging out with and spending time with him but even all that couldn’t take away that sadness he felt when Jimin wasn’t available! There are certain things only Jimin can give him you know😏. The company is different, the hugs are different, the cuddles are different, the quality time is different! It’s just different and NO ONE can fill the void but Jimin!

Anyways, i’ll stop ranting now! I just felt very emotional after watching Jk’s live and seeing how happy and healthy he looked! Man, love really does things some people might never understand.❤️

Damn anon

Wow. This.. All of this. Anon summarised perfectly.

#ask shaz #bts #jikook #jimin and jungkook #park jimin #jeon jungkook #minkook #kookmin #jimin #jungkook

[joeyquinndrabz]

Unloved - Joseph Quinn x Reader

TW: VERY angsty but finishes with fluff, insecurities mentioned

22:45. Eyes growing tired and your back aching from leaning against the bar, you were ready to go home. Joseph on the other hand, he was in his element. Surrounded by fellow actors and actresses, cackling at any joke thrown into the circle. In a way you’d been abandoned but his drunken self was far too absorbed in their conversations to realise.

You were eternally grateful that Joseph also brought Wesley along because you didn’t know anyone and no one seemed eager to get to know you in the slightest. Joes lack of company hadn’t gone unnoticed by him either, he felt too bad to leave you on your own but he had to head home due to an important meeting with his manager he had early in the morning. You’d reassured him you’d be fine and that you’d be more upset if he stayed because you didn’t want him to risk not getting up in time. So off Wes went, saying goodbye to Joe and yourself before calling a taxi to take him back to his home. You on the other hand, you were left to receive patronising stares from everyone who passed and you couldn’t fight your emotions for much longer.

It was evident to you that there was one girl in particular who had taken a liking to Joe and she was sending you daggers and had been all night. Joseph was so deep into his conversations that he hadn’t noticed but something inside of you wanted him to see, to say something, anything.

She was giggling too hard for your liking and kept staring at him with hunger in her eyes. It didn’t help that she was obviously some sort of model, her slender figure and picture perfect face gave it away. You on the other hand, worked a 9-5 and didn’t see your beauty like Joseph did. Your physical appearance had been an issue for you since your teenage years and it was something Joe was aware of. That’s why watching her so close to him and obviously trying to flirt with him was breaking your heart, bit by bit.

You couldn’t go over there, they didn’t want you in that circle and it hurt that Joe still chose to hang out with these people even though they’d completely disregarded your existence. There wasn’t much more you could handle, you were well and truly at breaking point. Finishing your drink and thanking the bartender for her company, you tried to signal to Joe you were going. To your surprise, you’d caught his attention but not in the way you were hoping for. He discreetly tilted his head at you as to say ‘can’t you see I’m busy’ and continued conversing with those ignorant fools.

The ache in your heart was overwhelming and you left the bar with your lips pierced together and tears forming with every step. For the first time that night you weren’t receiving any dirty looks, instead the strangers in the street looked at you with worried expressions and empathy. Your navigation of London wasn’t as good as Joes so being put in this situation was terrifying and made the emotions you were feeling 10x worse. There wasn’t any chance he was going to pick up his phone, he was too busy. You wanted to call Wes but feared you’d wake him up and ruin his meeting in the morning. Therefore, with 10% on your phone, you had to hope and pray for your safety and hope that you’d make it home.

You did eventually make it home, the 4% on your phone was clinging on for dear life and you were ready to get into bed and cry yourself to sleep. However, you hadn’t realised when leaving the bar that your coat was still there and the keys to your flat were also at the bar. You didn’t live with Joe either, so you were well and truly screwed. You didn’t have any other option but to try and call Joe with the 4% you had remaining.

It rang. It rang again. Then again. Until you were greeted with his automated voicemail. So you tried again, and again, until suddenly when you tried to ring for the 4th time…it had gone straight to voicemail. He’d turned off his phone. He’d turned off his phone whilst you were stuck in the freezing cold with no coat and now your phone had died on the last attempt to call him. To make matters worse, the drizzle you’d felt turned into an extreme storm and your flat was not inside a building you could reside in whilst you waited. The world had fucked you over and you finally broke down. Sliding down your flat door you sobbed and sobbed whilst holding your body in your arms in an attempt to keep some warmth.

You had no idea how long it’d been, it felt like days. Your teeth were chattering and the feeling in your feet had gone, there was still no sign of Joe.

That was until you heard someone shouting your name who sounded awfully like the man himself. You didn’t have the energy to be angry, you had none at all. You just wanted to get inside, you were so disappointed with him, he’d watched you leave without your jacket and still decided to stay. No concern for you or your wellbeing.

“Y/n? Oh my Jesus- Baby I’m so-“ Joe was quick to burst out in apology when he saw the state you were in. You were soaked, from head to toe, shivering with water dripping from your nose. “Save it.” You muttered through gritted teeth and used all your strength to reach for your jacket from his grasp. “I called you and you didn’t respond, I thought you’d gone back with Wes and when I got to his I-.” You were dragging yourself up from the wall and your shaking hand turned the key to your flat door. “I called you too. I called you quite a bit actually. You watched me leave on my own, I don’t need the lies Joe.” He’d followed you into your flat and watched as you walked straight past him into the bedroom, ready to strip yourself of your drenched clothes. “Sweetheart I’m not lying, I was so far into my conversation with Ava that the time span between you and Wes leaning felt identical. I genuinely thought you were with him.” Joe had tears in his eyes but there was no sympathy from you. You’d checked the time and it was 1:43am. You’d been outside for 2 hours, 2 whole hours. “I called you Joe, I really needed you and you were too busy with the same woman who’d been sending me death glares all night and the same woman who I heard call me a ‘scum from under her shoe’ to a group of women in the toilets. You left your girlfriend alone in London, to walk the streets with 10% and i spent the remainder of that charge trying to get in contact with my boyfriend! I could’ve been fucking dead and you wouldn’t of had a clue.” You were wailing and Joe wanted nothing more than to hold you in his arms but you stepped away from him anytime he came near. “Baby i didn’t know about any of this, if i did I would’ve been there in a heartbeat. I left to go to the toilet and when I came back my phone had been turned off completely. Ava, who i now know is a massive prick, decided to turn it off because it kept ringing from what she said was a ‘private number’. I told them I was leaving and then I headed to Wesley’s but when he answered he said he had no idea where you were. We both tried ringing you and texting you but I didn’t hear anything.” Joe had to stop to compose himself, he’d expected the worse. You never ignored his calls or texts so he knew something was really wrong. At this point you’d gotten changed into his oversized tracksuit that he wore around the flat when he was round. Although he’d completely and utterly fucked up, the smell of him was still a massive comfort to you and there was no helping it. “Wes obviously lives on the other side of London so I ran from his to the tube and he went looking where we’d just been to see if you’d gone back. The tube i was on broke down so I ran here as quick as I could. I’ve been a dick and there’s nothing I can do about what’s happened and if I could then I’d do anything. The fact I put you in that position i can’t I just-“ He began to sob, he sat on your bed with his head in his hands.

You knew deep down Joe would never want you to be in that situation, you knew he loved you but tonight you’d never felt so unloved and unwanted . He’d let you down and for that you had every right to feel upset with him. Maybe not intentionally, but he’d still done it.

“You left me on my own all night Joe. It’s like you want to get rid of me but this is taking the fucking piss. Tonight is the first night in our whole 4 years of being together that I’ve felt completely and utterly unloved by you. If you don’t want me around then fucking do something about it, don’t make me watch as you converse in conversations at the bar all night whilst I’m left to pitifully watch from the sidelines.” The part about you feeling unloved broke Joe like never before, he was sure he genuinely felt his heart shatter. “You think I don’t love you?.” Joe questioned mid sob, lifting his head from his hands to see if you were being sarcastic at all. “What part of tonight has showed that you love me Joe?” You looked straight at him with a tear stained face and new ones glazing your eyeballs. “I love you now, then and always. And I’m completely and utterly sorry for tonight’s events, I’ve hurt you and I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now. I understand if you don’t want me around right now, but please know that my heart does and will always belong to you. I will spend everyday of my life showing you how much I love you because I never and I mean never want you to think I don’t love you. And as for Ava and anyone at that table, they are dicks and there’s no excusing their behaviour. But as your boyfriend I’m in a position to protect you from that shit and I didn’t, I failed you. I can’t believe I’ve done this to you.” Joe was now stood significantly closer to you, tears still falling whilst he took in your broken appearance. “Do you wish I was more like them?” You asked, feeling as though you were no longer good enough for him. The Joe you’d met wasn’t a star of sorts, he’d done his fair share of acting but it was mostly theatre and you were his biggest fan. His life then seemed so far from what you knew, but now, it felt like you were in a movie yourself. Everyone around you became famous and well-known and you were, you. Maybe Joe felt you were dragging him down? Or he’s been introduced to so many new women he no longer sees the light in your eyes when you meet his?

“Oh my sweet girl.” Joe broke the gap between you both, wiping your tears with his thumbs and holding your head so you could meet his eyes. You both looked awful, crying messes to put it frankly. “I want you, and only you. Not a different version of you, just my beautiful Y/N who’d rather drink a milkshake over a cocktail. My Y/N who says yes to anything and who’s never afraid to speak her mind. My Y/n who gags at the thought of oysters.” You let out a slight laugh amongst the tears. “I want you angel. You’re so precious to me and again, I’m so sorry you’ve been put in a position of hurt caused by me who saying all this. I know my actions tonight don’t match my words, but you my darling are the love of my life and the reason I do what I do. Please don’t for a second doubt that I don’t love you. Because I do, a dangerous amount.” Joe finished his speech with a long kiss to your forehead and he held you closer than he’d ever done before. The closeness between you both made him aware of how cold you were and how you were still slightly shivering.

“Promise this won’t happen again?” You questioned into his chest. “Never ever again. My time off is dedicated to you now, we’ll go on so many adventures and see so many different places. I’m here now, forever.” He mumbled into your hair, squeezing your body like he’d never done before.

“And Wes.” You muttered, looking up at him. “And Wes.” He chuckled softly before leaning down to kiss you.

“I’m sorry angel.”

“I know you are, I forgive you.”

#joseph #joseph quinn #joseph quinn one shot #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn x reader fluff #joseph quinn x you #joe quinn x you #joseph quinn x y/n #imagines #fanfic

[waytooinvested]

Vengeance, Victory, and Undying Love - pt 10

Chapter 10 of my Supercorp fic in which Lena still creates something called Non Nocere to deal with her broken heart after finding out Supergirl's identity, but this time she gives the name to a different project. A more personal one. And now she’s coming for Supergirl.

This and previous chapters also available to read on Ao3

...............

‘I don’t want to be angry anymore’.

A distant, sober part of Lena was looking on in horror as the rest of her drunken self spilled all of her inner turmoil to the one person she wasn’t supposed to let back in. This woman, who alone out of all the long line of people who had let her down throughout her life had finally succeeded in shattering her heart for good.

She knew exactly how much she would regret this in the morning, but somehow right now, full of expensive scotch and self loathing, it didn’t seem to matter very much.

‘Well then, couldn’t we just... try again?’

Oh Kara. Sweet, naive, hopeful Kara. Of course it would seem so simple to her, but it wasn’t. How could it be?

Lena was a Luthor.

When it came down to it, she had taken her hurt and nursed it into something ugly. She had lashed out again and again, and systematically destroyed everything she had held dear from the moment Lex had taken his final revenge and exposed the lie at the very foundations of her happiness.

Of course they couldn’t try again.

At least, in the sober light of day they couldn’t.

But right now Kara was here, and she was looking at her with such warmth and understanding, as if she really believed that Lena was someone worthy of her grace, and everything she wanted felt within reach, if only for this one shining moment.

‘Please Kara, come here. To me. Please?’

The second please hadn’t even left her lips before Kara was beside her, an arm reaching out to tuck her in securely against her side for the first time in months.

A sob wrenched up from somewhere deep inside Lena, and she covered her mouth to try and stifle the sound of it.

She burrowed her face down into the crook of Kara’s neck and felt the relief of the contact spreading through her like warm rain after a drought.

At last, at last, at last.

She reached up to pat clumsily at Kara’s cheek, unsure how else to express the depths of her gratitude, but getting distracted by how nice it felt against her hand. The curve of it beneath her fingers, velvety soft like a sun warmed peach.

She wanted to kiss it, and so she did.

She kissed Kara’s cheek, and then she shifted a little, and kissed her mouth.

She was kissing Kara.

Kissing Kara and it was everything. It was a billion galaxies being born simultaneously, a fragile new flower spreading its petals to the sun for the very first time, a supernova, a sleepy Sunday breakfast of pancakes and coffee and doing the crossword together. It was Kara.

And for a brief, dizzying moment Kara kissed her back just as hungrily, as if the desperate, soul-deep need for this moment was in her as well as in Lena, and she let herself believe that this was real.

But then Kara put her hands on Lena’s shoulders and pushed her back, ever so gently.

Lena felt her face crumpling in despair as Kara’s warmth receded from her and the cold night rushed back in to take its place.

‘You don’t want to kiss me. Of course you don’t. I’m sorry Kara, I know you’re straight. I didn’t meant to- I should never have-’

‘No, no Lena it’s not that. Rao, I don’t think anything has ever taken more strength than stopping that kiss. I want to kiss you more than anything. But not like this. Not when you’re drunk and vulnerable, I can’t take advantage of you like that. And I need you to know that I won’t hold you to this. You know, afterwards. If you wake up tomorrow and everything is back the way it was for you – if you hate me again, I won’t hold you to tonight. I know it’s just because you’re drunk. I’m sorry Lena, I know it wasn’t fair of me to let it get this far, I just never expected… this’.

Lena nodded sagely. She hadn’t expected it either. And Kara was right, she probably would feel differently in the morning. Not about loving Kara. She knew by now that there was nothing she could do to stop that, but about the rest of it.

What she’d admitted.

And the kiss.

Oh god, the kiss.

Lena would be dreaming about that kiss for the rest of her life, and it would sear her heart like an open flame every time until there was nothing left of her but ash. But it would be almost worth it for those few perfect seconds when she was Kara’s, and Kara was hers.

It was time to stop now with whatever tattered shreds of dignity she might still possess, but somehow, even now, she couldn’t make her mouth shut up, and she found herself leaning in to murmur directly into Kara’s ear.

‘You’re right, I probably will take it back in the morning. Daylight. Sober. In’bitions. But. But shhh. This is a secret. I’ll be lying’.

She whispered the last three words and then laughed into Kara’s shoulder, beyond sense or self preservation, beyond worrying about what was going to happen next.

She laughed and laughed, until her eyes streamed with fresh tears, and then she stopped, very suddenly.

‘I think I’m going to be sick’.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Somehow, Lena had ended up on the surface of the sun.

At least, that’s what it felt like with the thin stream of sunlight that had found its way through the gap in her imperfectly closed blackout curtains stabbing directly into her brain.

Oh god, she was going to die, or throw up, or both.

Her mouth felt like she had brushed her teeth with the back end of a skunk and then gargled with kitty litter for good measure.

She gagged weakly, but didn’t have the energy to actually vomit. Or maybe there was just nothing left in her stomach to bring up. If the smell was anything to go by, the trash can pulled up by her bedside had been used for a lot more than trash last night.

What had she been thinking getting herself in such a state?

She liked a scotch or a glass or two of wine as much as the next person, but she didn’t get drunk. Not this drunk. Incapacitated drunk. No inhibitions drunk.

Fuck.

Tell Kara how you feel about her drunk.

Kara had been there last night.

She couldn’t remember how or why she was there, but flashes of the night before were coming back to her. Spilling her secrets to Kara on the balcony. Asking her to come and cuddle. Kissing her.

In better times Lena had fantasised about dozens of versions of a first kiss with Kara, but none of them had involved her being covered in snot and tears and reeking of whisky, kissing her when she didn’t want to be kissed.

She was going to have to do some serious damage control, just as soon as her bed stopped swooping about so alarmingly.

She reached out blindly to the bedside table, searching for the glass she kept there and hoping there was still an inch or two of water left in it from the last time she’d bothered to fill it. It would be stale and unsatisfying but better than nothing, and there was no way she could get up and go to the kitchen for a refill right now.

Instead her groping fingers were met with a full bottle of still-cold mineral water from the fridge and another of painkillers, on top of which lay a torn off scrap of paper with nothing on it but three letters:

XO K

#supergirl #supercorp #supercorp fanfic #supergirl fanfiction #kara danvers #lena luthor #kara x lena #my fic #angst with a happy ending #multi chapter fic

[hyunverse]

Bad boy hyunjin x enemies to lovers 😌

a series of cusses left your lips as soon as you saw his name beside yours. you cursed the universe for teaming you up with the hwang hyunjin for a group project that’s worth 60% of your grade.

“good luck, y/n,” seungmin said— you sighed, knowing full well that you’ll be needing a shit ton of luck.

if hyunjin wasn’t stupidly hot, no one would remember who he is considering the fact that he almost never shows up to his lectures. the few times he actually does, he’d lazily sport a pair of sweatpants, a cap to hide his probably horrendous hair and he’d sleep at the back of the lectures. he never speaks up in lectures, only ever whispers idiotic remarks. rumour has it, people have only properly conversed with him at the parties his fraternity would hold — though most of the things he’d say are drunken thoughts. so it’s safe to say that hwang hyunjin, the renowned campus bad boy is almost entirely unreachable.

which is why it counted as a miracle that you were able to reach him. it took a lot of effort, of course — knocked on the fraternity house door like a gazillion times, had to see multiple of the frat members half naked just to get hyunjin’s stupid number. you got the number from changbin, who was sporting merely a pair of tommy hilfilger boxers when he opened the door. he gave the number to you after you practically threatened to dismember his you-know-what. alas, after a series of missed calls and angry texts, hyunjin finally agreed to meet up at the library.

he was half asleep when you saw him at the library. it’s quite a surprise that he showed up at all — you already had felix on speed dial in case hyunjin didn’t show up, so that you’d have a pair of ears to nag at. hyunjin's hair was. . . surprisingly neat. you for sure didn't expect to see his hair be so beautiful considering how he never takes his stupid cap off. both the blonde’s elbows were propped on the wooden table, chin on hands and eyes threatening to fall asleep. you rolled your eyes. the boy who never shows up in class isn’t used to having group discussions at 10 a.m, what a shocker.

frankly, you don’t remember much about your first meet up with him. there were a lot of nagging, protests and low grumbles — that’s as far as you could recall. hyunjin stormed out of the library, mumbling something along the lines of stop-telling-me-what-to-do. it didn't go very well. he didn't bother showing up after that, didn't even do his work — you know because there was no progress in the google docs you shared. you had to practically beg him to cooperate, even promised him that you won't force him to do as you say if he at least does his part. he started showing up again after that, which made you glad despite the poker face he'd uphold the whole time. he would show up two hours late, and excuse himself before you're done discussing. he was amazing at getting to your nerves, no doubt about it.

what got to your last straw, however, was when he stopped showing up, again. every text from you was left on seen — even your angry texts. you despised how you seemed to have no effect on him. you've told him that you hate him about a billion times, yet he'd just leave you on read. you've showed up at his fraternity, knocked on his bedroom door but to no avail, he showed no interest in talking to you. at one point you ended up kicking his door and bursting into tears — mumbling things like, "you don't care about your grades but i do," "i fucking hate you, hwang hyunjin," "you're a dick and i hope you rot in hell."

something in hyunjin ticked upon hearing your breakdown. he started going to your discussions again. you wouldn't converse much, completely focused on getting your work done. hyunjin mirrored your energy, stopped making annoying remarks. somewhere along the way he ended up growing a soft spot for you, though he tried his best to not let it show. on the last day of your discussion, the day you'd submit your analysis together, hyunjin brought you coffee.

"did you poison this, hwang?"

hyunjin's eyebrows knitted in confusion, "no? why would i?"

"because you're annoying like that," you curtly replied, moving your focus back to the work.

the blonde bit the inside of his cheek. how was he going to ask you out if you wouldn't even trust him with bringing you coffee? his fingers tapped against the table, earning a glare from you.

"will you quit that noise?"

"you're so bloody uptight, y/n."

you rolled your eyes. a few minutes after, you managed to turn in your assignment. it was a relief — it meant that you wouldn't have to be around hyunjin again, you were free from his bullshit. you were overjoyed.

"y/n," hyunjin uttered.

"what?"

"will you go out on a date with me?" his question had you choking on your coffee.

"are you playing with me, hyunjin?"

"i'm not!" hyunjin replied, offended, "i'm serious. will you?"

you sighed as you picked on your nails. out of all people, the last person you'd expect to ask you out would be none other than hwang hyunjin. sure, his face was stupidly handsome, you were sure god took extra time with his face, but to be with him was something you weren't prepared for. if working with him as a project partner would be hell, imagine a relationship? you shuddered at that thought.

"sorry hyunjin, i just. . . don't think we'd work out. you're not exactly my type."

if your reply shattered his heart, he didn't let it show on his face.

hyunjin had been. . . surprisingly disciplined since you last saw him.

he had been attending lectures, stopped sleeping in the hall as well. it was a change which shocked many. some of your classmates — one of them being seungmin even joked that it meant he was going to die soon.

you stopped contacting him ever since you rejected him. you'd shoot daggers at him everytime he made eye contact. for some odd reason, the hatred you had for him wouldn't subside. it's like the hell you went through just to reach him stuck.

on the last day of the semester, he approached you again.

"what is it that you want, hwang?"

"are you dating kim seungmin?"

you furrowed your eyebrows, "no?"

"will you date me?" he asked, again.

you sighed. you were about to open your mouth to speak until hyunjin shoved his transcript in your face.

"what is this for?" you questioned, looking down at the piece of paper to see a perfect 4.0 gpa.

"i attended classes, did my assignments. . . am i your type now?"

the atmosphere fell silent as you blinked. he had been paying attention just to get your approval?

hyunjin looked desperate, "please say something, y/n."

you were nodding before you could even process your thoughts, "fine. i'll go out with you if you quit being an asshole."

#maybe i'll write a fic based on this #maybe. Mayve #this was fun #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin fluff #soft hrs: hyunjin!

[slinket]

Smutmas Day 31 Part 4 of 4

Holy shit, 10 mins till midnight, I did it.

This one is a spinoff of part 3, you need not have read it, but they happen the same night.

Prompts:

19-Don't make me take you home and punish you

27- What would people say if they knew you were such a slut for me

28- On your knees

29- Fucking is a reward but you haven't been a good girl yet.

NSFW, Dominis because duh.

The New Years Eve party at the Three BroomSticks was underway.  Young and old wizards alike were crowded together, ready to bring in the new year.  Everyone was filled with spirits as midnight approached, friends and lovers together, drunken antics at an all time high.  MC had convinced Ominis to accompany her to the party, and after setting a few rules, he obliged.

It’s not that Ominis didn’t like to have fun, he just loved control.  He needed it.  Loss of control was the only time he really felt his blindness.  So, setting up rules for him and his girl to follow were there to keep them both happy and safe.  Nothing too crazy.

Drinking is allowed, but we don’t get drunk.

Stay within hearing distance.

Don’t be obnoxiously flirting with other men.

Easy enough, keep them both safe, within range of each other incase something should happen, and Ominis wouldn’t spend the night filled with jealousy.

They were both having a great time.  Drinking, dancing, and laughing.  As the night went on, MC continued to drink though Ominis claimed they had hit their limit.  She liked feeling tipsy, it made her feel free, and more outgoing.  She felt brave when she drank.  She was surrounded by friends and her boyfriend, so she felt perfectly safe breaking one of Ominis’ rules.

She snuck off several times to get another drink, hoping Ominis didn’t notice that she would be out of range.  She didn’t want him to hear her ordering another drink.  He knew though - somehow he always knew what she was doing no matter how sneaky she thought she had been.  When she got back to Ominis, he grabbed her hand and pulled her to the side.  She threw her head back and drank, while Ominis admonished her.

“I think it’s time we get going, clearly you’ve not been listening to me and I don’t like it when you're too drunk, I don’t trust these other people. 

“Come off it Ominis, I’m fine!”  She laughed and decided to push his boundaries.  Why not break all of the rules and see what happens.  Maybe she could get her dominant boyfriend to appear.  MC took his hand and pulled him towards a table in the corner.  She was happy and laughing, sitting herself down next to Sebastian.  She had stopped guiding Ominis, so he crashed into the table.

“Sorry Omi,” she laughed, clearly tipsy.  “Sebastian!  Leander!  Are you having a wonderful night?  Ominis is being his usual self, getting mad at me for no reason.”  

Ominis growled and leaned over to whisper not so subtly into MC’s ear, “Don’t make me take you home and punish you.”

MC hummed in response to Ominis, pushing herself up and leaning across the table.  She stuck her ass out, making sure it was pressed against Ominis’ lap.  She grabbed Leander and kissed him, doing the same with Sebastian, making sure she gave a loud ‘smooch’ sound so Ominis would know exactly what she was doing.  

“MC,” Ominis grumbled, he grabbed her hips and pulled her down off the table, picking her up from behind and walking away with her.  He placed her down, pulling out his wand to help guide him out of the crowded bar.  “Let’s show you what happens to brats who don’t follow the rules.”

MC pressed herself up against Ominis, smelling his rage.  She stuck her tongue out and licked at his neck, tasting the sweat collecting at his collar.  She allowed Ominis to guide her outside, the snow falling softly.  It wasn’t overly cold outside, but enough to help her sober up a bit.  He pulled her around the side of the building, pressing her back against the wall, his hands on each side of her head, locking her in place.

“On your knees.”  Ominis didn’t often make demands, but when he did, he expected them to be followed immediately.  

“Ominis, it's snowing, and I was just playing with you, let's just go back to the party.”

“You drank too much, and kissed two other men, I don’t take that as playing, so get on your knees, I won’t tell you again.”

MC sighed in defeat, placing her hands on his shoulders.  She let her hands run down his body, mimicking her own movement, letting Ominis feel when she had lowered herself to her knees.  She knew what he wanted, so she pressed her lips against the band of his pants, feeling how hard he was from bossing her around.

“No, none of that shit, pull it out and get it in your mouth.”

MC huffed, but did as he asked.  Ominis knew that giving blowjobs was not her favorite activity.  She had a small mouth, and was more than happy to lick on him as part of foreplay, but a full blowjob left her jaw in pain soon after beginning.

She flicked her tongue out to lick at him, before he pushed her hands off and held her head, forcing her to open and hold his cock in her mouth.  “I’m going to fuck your mouth, pretty girl.  That’s your punishment for breaking the rules.  You’re gonna keep that tight little mouth of yours open and take me until I spill down your throat.  You got that?”  

MC didn’t respond immediately, she knew to wait.  Ominis brought a hand to her face, cradling her cheek softly.  He loved to demand and control, but always made sure she was a fully willing participant, even if he considered something a punishment.  He whispered to her now, his thumb caressing her skin lovingly, “Ok my darling?”

Ominis felt her nod and moved his hand to the back of her head.  He let her start sucking on him, moving her head on her own, giving her some time to adjust.  He was fully aware that she would be in pain after satisfying him with her mouth, but that is the price she would pay for defying him.  

He moaned into the cool air, his breath appearing in the air due to the cold.  “Hands on my ass,” he told her, and when she obliged, he once again made sure she was ready to take him.  Her moan was all he needed to hear, and then he held her head still and began thrusting his long cock into her mouth.  Each time he pushed in, he moved a bit further down her throat.  When she gagged on his cock, he chuckled and pulled out to let her breathe.  “You love my cock, don’t you baby?”  Her hum always excited him more, her approval of his words and the sensation of the act itself sending shivers down his spine.  “What would people say if they knew you were such a slut for me?  Taking my cock, trying to be good for me.  But you were so bad tonight my love, so fucking bad.”

Ominis didn’t hold back any longer, he full on started fucking her mouth, pushing himself all the way inside.  He hit the back of her throat, but encouraged her to open up for him because he she hadn’t reached the bottom of his cock yet.  He felt her swallow, her throat pulling his cock down and he roared, both of his hands holding her head as she gagged and coughed, spit dripping out of her mouth and down into the cold street.

“I love hearing you gag, Merlin I love it so fucking much, take my cum you naughty slut, swallow every drop for me.”  The heat of his orgasm quickly flew through him.  Shooting directly down into her throat, she gagged again, taking swallow after swallow since Ominis would allow her to pull back.  When he had spilled the final rope of cum into her, he swore, letting her push back.  MC leaned further over, breathing heavily and coughing onto the ground.  

“Don’t you spit anything out MC.  Cough all you want, but that cum better stay in your belly.”  Ominis leaned forward, resting against the wall. 

When MC could finally speak, she looked up at her lover, “Omi, I’m so wet for you, need you to fuck me.”  She was whining, hanging herself off his body.

“Oh darling, fucking is a reward, but you haven’t been a good girl yet.  You took your punishment well, but you still need to earn my favor again.”  He pressed his lips to her forehead, smiling at her as he pulled his wand out again, grabbing her hand and leading them back to the castle.  If you ignored the cheers of the new year being shouted into the streets, you could hear MC begging Ominis the whole way home to play with her body.

#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy fanfiction #ominis gaunt #hogwarts legacy smut #ominis gaunt fanfiction #smutmas 2023 #ominis x mc #ominis gaunt smut

[m0dernwh0refare]

Roofies and Camo

!!TW!! Heavy references to drugging and drink tampering

Ch. 1: A night at the club to clear the head

Party season runs rampant this time of year. Between Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, it seems like everyone is using the impending festivities and reunions as an excuse to drink until they can't remember their own names. And you join them. It's not like you had anything better to do, considering you were back in town for two reasons and two reasons only. You came to visit your folks and reminisce on old memories with your fiancee. Except your folks took a surprise trip out of town and won't be back for three days, and your high school sweetheart fiancee decided to toss out the marriage for a waitress with fewer years and fewer grey hairs than you. So, here you are, newly single after a five-year-long relationship, falling back into the chaotic embrace of the downtown nightlife scene. 

Flashing, pulsing LED lights, blaring remixes of the top 100 hits and club classics, and outfits far too revealing to see the light of day, the atmosphere makes the unwavering waterfall of tears stop, even if it's just for a night. You find yourself amongst the hoards of inebriated dancers in a club you don't remember the name of. All you remember is it was something edgy like Vortex or Blacklight, and there was a thirty-five-dollar cover fee that was almost enough to turn you right back around and push you into the comfort of a cheap motel and an even cheaper tub of ice cream. But getting over him is worth the thirty-five dollar entry. Maybe even the thirteen-dollar drinks. Ok, maybe not that far, but you're still here.

Bodies push up against one another. Perfect strangers sloppily lock lips as if it's the last time they'll ever get the chance. You have to practically swim through the writhing crowd to make it back to the bar for your third, maybe fifth, or sixth drink. The number doesn't really matter as long as the tears stay gone and you can't feel a thing. Is it unhealthy? Yes. Does it mean you're going to go home and do something better like yoga or journaling? Hell no.

Another fourteen dollars and a vodka soda later, the world blurs together when you turn your head too quickly, and nothing matters. You're loose, you're relaxed, you're having fun, and you're happy. Everything is ok. 

It's better, you decide after an internal debate, to hang back by the bar for now. The drinks have a strong hold on you and you're not sure you can trust your legs to fully support you and function enough to walk at the moment. Not quite drunk, you can see drunk from here and it's maybe half a drink off. Yeah, walking is a bad idea right now. 

Truth be told, it's equally as entertaining to people-watch as it is to be out on the dancefloor. Seeing women laughing with their friends, seeing men cheer each other on as they race to see who can take down the most shots, seeing folks who know nothing about each other exchange numbers along with flirty winks and drunken promises. Dancing or holding yourself up on the bar, it's better than a room at a questionably cleaned Great Western and a tub of Great Value chocolate ice cream. People having fun and enjoying life. It's what you need. A reminder that things get better and life is fun.

You're not watching for more than five or ten minutes when a man, who you hadn't even noticed had taken up the spot next to you at the bar, taps you on the shoulder, and slides you a drink. He has to lean close to your ear and speak rather loudly to be heard over the blaring music.

"Out by yourself?" The man asks. He's maybe 5' 9", maybe 5' 10" (175-177cm by the rest of the world's measure), wearing an unremarkable outfit of sneakers, jeans, and a dark-colored hoodie (the true color undiscernible because of the club's colored, moving and flashing LEDs and the alcohol doesn't help). His hair is cut tight, sealing his overall uninteresting appearance which could belong to just about any man you'd see out on the streets.

"Yeah... that obvious?" You say back to him, the words not coming out the clearest. The drink he slid you is something dark. "What's this?"

"Rum and Coke. I didn't know what you'd had before so I figured it was a safe enough bet. You seem like you need it, no offense." While he was otherwise uninteresting, he was giving you a free drink and he wasn't the worst person in the world to talk to, so you smile a bit and take the drink. Between the other five or six (or was it seven?) drinks and the loose, party atmosphere, your inhibitions are low and your trust is higher. You sip from the drink as you continue the exchange.

"Fianceé cheated. My options were clubs and bars or crying over some telenovela or romcom. So..." You gesture to the happy-go-lucky hedonists occupying the club. The drink he gave you is heavy on the rum, so much so that you can hardly tell there's coke in there at all. Free is free, you remind yourself as you take another drink. 

"Yikes. Well, here's to rebounding then." He taps his drink against yours and drinks it down in one go. You do the same. You two continue to converse over the club remixes and others' equally loud conversations. The seventh (eight...?) drink hits hard. Very hard. The world feels like it's spinning, and the flashing lights and loud music are fueling a budding headache. You're having even more trouble staying upright, your muscles seemingly refusing to hold any weight. "You alright there?" The man asks, looking you in the eye.

" I... um..." It's hard to breathe, like there's a weight pushing on your lungs. Your eyes are having trouble staying open as a wave of exhaustion washes over you. "Think... I need to go home..." You start feeling your pockets for your wallet when the man puts his hand over yours. 

"I've got you, don't worry." He gestures for the bartender and hands them his card. After a few moments, both you and the man's tabs are closed and he's putting your arm around his shoulder and his arm around your waist. He helps support your weight as he starts moving you both to the exit.

You're out of it, bad. It's not lost on you that your eyelids start to stay closed more than they're open and your head is equally as cooperative, lulling to the side as your neck just doesn't want to provide any support now. Sounds jumble together as the lights make images of kaleidoscopes flash in your mind. Words seem impossible now, coming out as half-hearted mumbles and grunts that don't sound like any discernable words.

Both of you are halfway between the bar and the exit when a couple of men step in front of you and the man. You're hardly cognisant but catch a flash of camo as your head slumps back again. There's a conversation that you can't make out, you're far too out of it to understand, save for a few snippets.

"We're just headed back home --- too much to drink." The man holding you speaks to the ones blocking the path.

"--- know her?"

"--- came in --- else with her" Two voices you don't recognise.

"--- dating for a few --- likes to party a bit too ---" The man holding you says, shuffling his hold on you so it's a bit more solid and you're pressed closer to his side.

There's a new hand that's firmly but gently sits on your arm. You can make out a guy, maybe in his mid-twenties, with darker skin and a cap that has a flag on it. He speaks to you directly. You don't catch everything he says but it's clearer than the previous conversation. 

"--- alright? Do --- know this man?" His eyes, which you catch a glimpse of as your eyes shut involuntarily again, seem soft and concerned. 

You can't really pull yourself together to respond, ending up with a jumbled "...hmm?" The man who gave you the drink tries to walk you both forward and around the men but the other man's hand hooks more under your arm and pulls you back closer to him, gently but without room for resistance. You catch a glimpse of the others in the way, two men, one with facial hair and another with a short mohawk. The one in the cap speaks to you again, slowly and heavily pronunciated so you can understand.

"Do. you. know. this. man?" 

You muster all your energy and consciousness into shaking your head no. That seems to spring the men into action. The one speaking to you pulls you closer to him and a fourth man joins from behind, prying the man and you apart, pulling his arms off you and pushing you to the capped man and pushing the other away from you. His hands are gloved and his face is obscured. The man with the facial hair grabs the collar of the man with you, pulling him away as well and fully separating the two of you.

The man with the mohawk works with the other to hold you up and bring you to the club exit. A commotion breaks out behind you three but you're rapidly losing consciousness at this point. They get you outside and the cool air wakes you up just a little but not by much. They move you over to a window ledge and help you sit there as they hold you upright and the one with the mohawk pats you on the cheek, trying to jog your consciousness

"--- need to --- just --- awake, ok?" He says, and you catch a hint of accent in your haze. You hum and nod a little, though unconsciousness is creeping in quickly. The other is on the phone as Mr. Mohawk opens up your eyes, shining a light in them that makes you try and pull your head back with a discomforted groan. "I know, I know. Just --- and then --- feel better, ok?" He holds his fingers up in front of you and does a few other things as reality slips away, you don't know what he's doing or if you're supposed to be doing something, but you don't. 

An ambulance and police cars come screaming up, sirens and lights blaring. Several EMTs come up to you and start doing this or that, all of which you can't discern as your eyes shut fully and stay shut as you drift into unconsciousness. 

#modern warfare 2 #modern warfare ii #modern warfare x reader #taskforce 141 x reader #platonic #platonic! taskforce 141 x reader #captain john price #captain price #captain price x reader #kyle gaz garrick #kyle garrick #kyle gaz garrick x reader #john soap mactavish #john soap mctavish x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader

[wordsinhaled]

our own history » an ineffable husbands playlist

my friends, this playlist is gloriously sappy. there is not an iota of angst in it, i promise. in fact, it is the musical antithesis of angst, the equivalent of crowley and aziraphale having a picnic in the garden at their south downs cottage or enjoying a lusciously indolent, happily married retirement among the stars. it will rot your teeth and make your cheeks hurt from smiling (at least, it does mine). a happy ending in song form. please enjoy and i hope it heals your heart a little <3

01. the new basement tapes » when i get my hands on you 02. sonny cleveland » you've got me running in circles 03. emily king » believer 04. eliza rickman » riches and wonders 05. the magnetic fields » when my boy walks down the street 06. ruby the rabbitfoot » do me right 07. joe hertler and the rainbow seekers » old love 08. may erlewine » days go by 09. sammy rae & the friends » kick it to me 10. rachael and vilray » do friends fall in love? 11. penny and sparrow » don't wanna be without ya 12. madeleine peyroux » dance me to the end of love

lyrics under the cut!

the new basement tapes » when i get my hands on you

when I get my hands on you gonna make you carry me when I get my hands on you gonna make you marry me when I come home to you gonna take you down to the riverside when I come home to you hold you in my arms all night and now you know everywhere on earth you go you're gonna have me as your man

sonny cleveland » you've got me running in circles

oh, can it be that you're here with me? let's start writing our own history

emily king » believer

darling, I know that you could be the enemy leaving flowers at my door and soon you'll be asking for a key don't understand why someone would be so good to me is there something else? something you're trying to achieve? I'm not a believer what I see is usually what I get I'm not a believer but I haven't seen it all yet darling, I know that you must think I'm just a fool I spend my time questioning all the good you do well, I've been around I know that nothing ever comes free so 'fess up now or, darling, forever hold your peace darling, I think I'm going to take a leap of faith they say sometimes something just cannot be explained I've been around I know that nothing ever comes free just give it up and you just might get the best of me

eliza rickman » riches and wonders

we live high / our love gorges on the alcohol we feed it / and it grows all fat and friendly / we have surplus if we need it we hold on as hard as we can / our knuckles are white we write letters to each other / invent secrets to confess to / I learn foreign and exotic terms of endearment / by which to address you we feed fresh fruit to one another / we stay up all night I am healthy, I am whole / but I have poor impulse control / and I want to go home / but I am home we are strong, we are faithful / we are guardians of a rare thing / we pay close, careful attention / to the news the morning air brings / we show great loyalty / to the hard times we've been through we are filled with riches and wonders / our love keeps the things it finds / and we dance like drunken sailors / lost at sea, out of our minds you find shelter somewhere in me / I find great comfort in you / and I keep you safe from harm / you hold me in your arms and I want to go home / but I am home

the magnetic fields » when my boy walks down the street

grand pianos crash together when my boy walks down the street there are whole new kinds of weather when he walks with his new beat everyone sings hallelujah when my boy walks down the street life just kind of dances through ya, from your smile down to your feet amazing - he's a whole new form of life blue eyes blazing and he's going to be my wife the world does the hula-hula when my boy walks down the street butterflies turn into people when my boy walks down the street maybe he should be illegal, he just makes life too complete

ruby the rabbitfoot » do me right

you ain't ever gonna let me down / no, no, no / you got a way of keeping me high / connected with the stars in the sky you said, "go read", I'm like / maps make traps for exactly what you want in your life / 'cause if you don't they will pass you right by / quicker than the pines when you drive but baby, I can tell you what I want / I want you to come over tonight / be my secret lover undercover / rolling thunder through the midnight sky / if you can make it and not break it, I can take it till the sunrise / 'cause oh, oh, oh, oh, baby / you do me right

joe hertler and the rainbow seekers » old love

we met on the battlefield / drank from the ladle by the moon / the blood expanded across the field / like chrysanthemums in bloom / is there really so much to fear when we're all just taking sides? and a promise is a promise / will you finish what you started? / I was born to believe that the change in the leaves could really mean anything, love / I'd cross the mountains and the ocean for ya / just to see you I need that old love / and I'm swimming in the dark (swimming in the dark) / I need that cool love / and I'm frozen from the start (frozen from the start) oh, I strained my eyes to see / but it was dark inside and out / how I long to hear your breath / how I long to hear your sound / I so wish to understand / these pangs of solitude / maybe my soul will bring me peace / will it place me next to you?

may erlewine » days go by

it's the way that you walk in the room your heart is a beacon don't need a reason to love you it's easy to do who knows what time is gonna do all I know is the simple truth I like watching the days go by with you the sunrise found me with you the light hit the window outlined the shadow a picture, the way that you move all of my places now left with a trace of you

sammy rae & the friends » kick it to me

I ain't been singing the blues nearly as much since I been living with you, love me too much and I say - kick it to me, I could make it better for ya kick it to me, I could make you better for it I know we didn’t think that it would turn out you start it off too quick, you’re gonna burn out nowadays we're heading to the same place nowadays we're working at the same pace I'm still here still bright when the night comes still burning, still bright when the night comes I didn’t feel it on the first day but now I got it in the worst way and don’t it feel okay? I get it bad and it gets better every day

rachael & vilray » do friends fall in love?

two friends, two hearts too many nights to count them but tonight was something new and I know you felt it too when we fell into the passion of a kiss oh, say you're mine for all our days to follow as friends we lived before and we'll live evermore together two friends in love

penny & sparrow » don't wanna be without ya

say, what if we reincarnate / and whatever God said, "it's your turn for choosing" / would you rather come back, be born in a circle? / see the oldest garden, the crescent is fertile or would you prefer to see life underwater? / only knowing oceans, have hundreds of daughters / there's a part of hope that is sewn in this theory / give me any species and keep yourself near me make it easy / I don't wanna be without ya / if you start over, can I redo mine too? / anything you become / lemme run beside you held on tight but I fell with you / I could see us being young lovers in a fable / that could be us, it could / over and over, becoming, become

madeleine peyroux » dance me to the end of love

dance me to your beauty with a burning violin dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove dance me to the end of love oh, let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon show me slowly what I only know the limits of dance me to the end of love dance me to the wedding now, dance me on and on dance me very tenderly and dance me very long we're both of us beneath our love, we're both of us above dance me to the end of love

#good omens #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #good omens 2 spoilers #only sap sap and more sap to be found here <3

[queer-whatchamacallit]

Weird little thoughts about the Berzatto family past

When Carmy was about 8 and Sugar was 15, she started trying to tutor him in math

After realizing that he just couldn’t manage to focus on what she was teaching, she tried to connect math with Carmy’s interest in food by assigning ingredients to different numbers

So now Carmy has a bunch of weird associations with numbers and has a hatred for certain numbers because it’s a bad combination

It ended up being too convoluted to actually get multiplication to stick, but it did lead to him spending a couple days trying and failing to figure out different ingredient-number associations that would work better

Mikey would go with Richie up to Lake Michigan a lot to just swim and drink and hang out

When they started getting a little older, he’d sometimes take Sugar and Carmy up with him too

The last time they all went together, Carmy was 16 and had just started asking about working in the restaurant, Sugar was 23 and had just moved back to Chicago after getting her law degree, and their mom hadn’t dumped the Beef onto Mikey yet who was 32

So Carmy, Sugar, Mikey, and Richie all drove up to the coast, and Carmy convinced Richie to pour some beer into a pop can Carmy just finished

Sugar would have never let them hear the end of it if she found out for sure, but it just ended with Carmy (who hadn’t eaten much that day) putting his head on her shoulder and sleep talking the whole ride home

I don’t know if this one necessarily lines up with the timeline of the show, but I think it could be fun anyway

It was Christmas Day after Carmy turned 21, and Richie and Mikey were joking around about how he could finally drink with them without worrying about getting caught

Carmy wanted to help his mom with the fishes, but he figured a couple drinks would help him loosen up a little

Eventually, she just kicked him out of the kitchen and swapped him for Mikey because he couldn’t manage to keep track of half the things she was telling him to

He hung around the Faks most of the night, but after dinner and cannolis and presents and such, Mikey and Richie dragged him upstairs instead of letting him go home

They just dicked around for a while and told stories, but at some point, Carmy just stood up and started walking toward the door, saying he needed to do something but not really knowing what

Mikey managed to convince him to put a coat on because it was completely freezing outside, and Carmy just walks into the yard and falls back into the snow

He seemed satisfied with this, and just stayed there for a while with Mikey and Richie shivering by the front door until Richie launched a snowball at his face

And that was how Carmy, Richie, and Mikey got a noise complaint for having a drunken snowball fight at about 10 pm on Christmas Day

Whenever Carmy got sick as a kid, he’d go to sleep it off, but at some point, he’d come out of his room and lay on the couch, oftentimes in the lap of whoever was on said couch

He doesn’t remember this happening, so it’s just a complete mystery of whether he was awake during these times

When Carmy was stressed about something, it made his stutter worse, and because his mom wasn’t exactly patient with him, she’d tell him to just write things down pretty often

Because he was made to feel embarrassed and like he was taking up too much of her time already, he learned to write inhumanly fast and legible

While it didn’t exactly come from a good place, it’s almost become a sort of party trick (if he was ever given the opportunity to use it) that he can write about as fast as people normally talk and still have it be easily readable

#the bear #the bear fx #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #sugar berzatto #natalie berzatto #michael berzatto #mikey berzatto #donna berzatto #richie jerimovich #headcanon #hc #headcanons

[dogcodedcatboy]

pre relationship: 3, general: 3, 6, love: 10, 13, domestic life: 7 !!

hihihihihihi !!!! i cant wait to start s2 tonight i need to see my kittycat i need to see him !!!!! thank u for always sending asks my aaroman warrior o7 u should rb this ask game 2 so i can pelt u w waystarshipping and jermstone questions

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

absolutely fucking not!!!!!!

by the time any of the roys find out its too late, theyre already very much together. i think the fam knows abt aaron before 04x03 and like, willingly keeps him a secret (have 2 believe none of them would out a family member for personal gain. if not just to avoid the shitstorm for logan). some of them wuld obviously would prefer for roman to a) not be gay or b) at least not be dating a Fucking Weirdo. oh well!

aarons friends are also not. thrilled. for obvious reasons. reactions range from 'ok...u r gold digging, right? does this mean we can afford a hot tub :D' to 'morally/ethically what the Actual fuck is wrong with you bro???'

What was their first kiss like?

hmm the first time they kiss probably an impulsive. half-drunken thing. prolly after their first '''date''' (which roman insists is not a date despite calling him up and inviting him for dinner and drinks). it's rlly messy, roman is kind of an awful kisser at first (out of practice #nobitches) so aaron is kinda like...ok....but it's very endearing somehow.

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

i could write a dissertation on. aaron and the roys. i think he's...polite? i mean, he knows roman is super close to them despite how fockin shitty they are to him all the time, so he's willing to grin and bear it. he doesnt like ken for Reasons (annoying on twitter, involvement in 'dog pound', annoying in real life)*, he's rightfully intimidated by shiv, he thinks connor is rlly fuckin funny, he has a weird psychosexual obsession w tom (as stated, would put tom in a saw trap), he thinks greg is cool and would like to talk about his record collection w him.

*authors footnote: i personally like kendall a lot i do love the fucked up brother dynamic between ken and rome BUT aaron is protective and an asshole and doesnt care abt nuance if youre mean to his boyfriend you go to the gulag for 1000 years ! aarons friends are hsi family! he lives w his childhood + college besties! they are all spectacular assholes as well so roman weirdly fits in! roman likes aarons bff because he is also a snarky asshole. one of aaron's college friends actually is from LA, so that's another person he can relate to somewhat. ovi he's a rich asshole tho and like, has to adapt to how normal people live and socialize (aaron and his friends arent even normal theyre like a weirdly codependent found family) but. they all kind come around to him! (will post extended oc universe lore someday on god)

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

i think they both are kinda stupid abt feelings and prefer physical affection, as sometimes its easier to manage than like, pouring your heart out. aaron is big on words of affirmation tho, once they r more comfy in their relationship/roman is more comfortable w receiving stuff like that.

Who remembers the little things?

aaron is def a romantic, he's big on anniversaries, quick to pick up little things like roman's coffee order, his favorite snacks, etc. roman is a little rusty but is surprisingly sensitive when he cares about someone. he's super in to aaron, so he makes sure to note all of aarons favorite movies and albums (so he can bring them up later and Totally sound like he knows what he's talking about).

[also they r a beautiful ocd (aaron) x adhd (roman) couple so in general aaron is Incredibly on top of things (or else he might die, who knows!) while roman is a fockin mess with remembering shit.]

Who kills the bugs in the house?

the real answer is gustav. he eats them. aaron will hold the cat up and he will take care of business.

#asks #me when my answered asks are so unbearably long #sorry im like this guys #it will happen again #jerome 🎥

[spaceorphan18]

fic writer 20 questions - ask game

Thank you @bitbybitwrites for letting me self indulge more.

i still have issues with tagging, but -- @wowbright or @redheadgleek or @coffeegleek wanna try - go for it!

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

Right now - 59. But there are some I think I'm going to take down, mostly the MCU related WIPs I started and have no intention of finishing.

2. whats your ao3 word count?

899,883

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Right now - only Glee. But I started with The Office, and have written MCU related things, too.

4. top 5 fics by kudos

1. 99 Perspectives on a Single Love Story 417 2. The Accident 336 3. Chasing Pavements 312 4. Faking It 303 5. How I Met My Soul Mate - A Drunken Kurt Story 275

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

I do! But I get so behind. I'm finally caught up again, but I'll go months without responding (and I always feel bad). I feel like - if you've taken the time to write, I should take the time and thank you for acknowledging my work.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't really have any that have angsty endings - I'm not big on that. I do have bittersweet and sad endings, though -- such as Things We Say in the Shadows, Scenes from December, and The End of the Story

7. whats the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Ooh, I don't know - maybe Chasing Pavements?

8. do you get hate on fics?

Not really. I think I had one comment once that said they thought I needed more editing. (which, fair) and one that didn't like how I did vampires in Things We Say in the Shadows -- but since I know nothing about Vampire lore - I wasn't too worried about it.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Clearly, I do. But here's the thing about smut. I feel like - when you start writing, it can be like this scary thing, and then the more you do it, the more almost... routine it starts becoming? It's been an interesting journey...

10. do you write crossovers? whats the craziest one youve ever written?

Not really? Only when it's kind of done in a cracky way. I wrote Scam School as a joke, which is a Glee/MCU crossover. And Blurring Lines is a RPF crack fic about Kurt and Blaine's reaction to Darren and Mia getting engaged.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

God, I hope not. Please let me know if someone has!

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I had someone ask if they could translate my works into German! So they are!

13. have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I have! @ckerouac and I wrote a silly MCU fic about fake dating and @darriness and I wrote a cute one-shot together.

14. fave all time ship?

Hmmm, I don't know! I'm still having fun writing Klaine. I will always have a special place in my heart for Jim and Pam - and sometimes think about writing more of them. And there are lots out there that I enjoy - but I wouldn't necessarily write fic about.

15. wip you want to finish but doubt you will?

Idk about doubt completely, but I'd love to finish writing The CrossRhodes Saga -- it's a 40s noir mystery, and it's so fun.

16. what are your writing strengths?

Probably conversation -- also, the ability to weave in canon elements. Plus, I think I'm funny - I don't know if other people think I am though.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Details and descriptions. Also transitions. And probably mechanical things like where to use a comma. Plus, my inability to just proofread and clean it up before posting.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

Make sure you know what you're doing? Or have someone proofread it? Idk - I've never done it.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

I mean, if you want to get technical, it'd be The Mighty Ducks when I was ten... but the first thing anyone read was for The Office.

20. fave fic youve written?

It's really a toss up between With Every Broken Bone -- which, was really a fic written for me and how to reconcile between seasons 5 and 6. I still will go back and reread that one. The month of June still manages to be one of my favorite things I've ever written. And 99 Perspectives on a Single Love Story which may have been a long, tedious journey to write, but it ended up being just exactly what I wanted it to be. I also have hopes for my current project: Head Over Feet but we'll have to see how that works out when I finish it.

#thanks dear - what a fun thing to write

[sea-owl]

so, we have the stepdad antony au and the stepdad benedict au, so, what about the stepdad colin au? maybe penelope, tired of waiting for him, accepted the offer from a sick gentleman asking for an heir to not loose the fortune to one of his cousins

they have one son, baby Lucas, and the guy dies soon after and Penelope is left as a rich widow, and she absolutely thrives, it makes balls easier and wistledown even easier, but then, colin comes back, eager to meet his "friend's" baby and finds himself both falling love with her and gaining immense fondness for the boy

So ironically enough, I was waiting for this as soon as I got the stepdad ask for Benedict, and started a stepdad but not really stepdad au for Colin. (I wanted to spice it up) Also, weridly enough, I've been imagining all the stepdad aus in one au so it's like how can Colin top his brothers in this one?

So after Colin says he will never marry/court Penelope, a few too many drinks at the closing ball of the season lead to Penelope being pregnant. Penelope, remembering Colin's words, takes a page out of his book and runs. She takes some of her Whistledown money and brings it to Portia. Acting as if the lord who got her pregnant paid her to be a mistress and then paid her off to keep quiet.

Portia is ready to fly off the handle until Penelope reminds her that the Featherington estate needs an heir. Prudence has yet to marry, Felicity is too young, and Philippa still remains without a child. Portia then learns which of her children inherited her scheming genes.

Penelope leaves for the Featherington country home, about a day and a half travel from London. The official story is that there is a soilder who asked for Penelope's hand. As a wedding gift Portia gave them the Featherington country home where Penelope is currently traveling to so they can wed. Once Penelope gets to her new home, the story goes she was already wed to her soilder, but now he has to return to battle. No one doubts her as Mrs. Varley forged a beautiful marriage license and document where it is agreed the soilder takes Penelope's last name. She writes fake letters to her soilder husband who she sends to Portia, who then burns them.

Whistledown is still in business, even with Penelope out in the country. Genevieve Delacroix is the one to thank for that. Every piece of gossip she hears, she sends it directly to Penelope through a private carrier. Penelope then writes her article with that knowledge and then sends it back to Genevieve to hand off to the printer. Whistledown may not print as often, but that doesn't slow down its popularity. If anything, it made people crave it more.

Penelope gives birth to Agatha and Thomas Featherington. The Featherington estate has its heir. When the twins are two, Penelope and Portia feel secure enough that they can kill off Penelope's soilder husband.

The twins are five when Penelope returns to London for Felicity's debut. Colin, who has heard of her marriage and widowhood, who still remembers their drunken night together, takes one look at the twins and immediately clocks them as Bridgertons.

Now, back in London, Penelope makes the decision to stop Whistledown. The estate and training Thomas is her responsibility now. She has to focus on that. Besides, she's well off from her funds, and she can also focus on writing something else now.

Colin corners her one day and she tells him he made it clear he did not want her other then to bed. Why would she trap herself and her children in a marriage with him he does not want? They make a deal where he can get to know the children, he is their biological father, but no matter what in the public eye their father is Penelope's dead soilder.

Turns out Agatha and Thomas really like stories, and they love hearing about all the adventures Colin has been on. They also love making up stories and 7 times out of 10 want Colin and Penelope to play the hero and heroine who fall in love. That may or may not be them signaling for their parents to kiss.

Colin becomes enamored with the two little humans he helped make, and realizes the love he has for their mother. He discovers he wants to be their father, even if the world thinks him nothing more than a stepfather.

Agatha and Thomas like the funny man who reminds them of the stories their mama told them about their papa. They wish he could be their papa. Then they learned the term remarriage, and that it wasn't uncommon for widows and widowers of young children to remarry quickly. They start to make their own schemes.

Colin quickly catches onto the schemes and plays into them. Penelope, bless her, is a bit distracted to not catch on as she is now head of the Featherington family. The twins will play into this by telling Colin their mama needs rescuing from the evil paperwork. Thus starting a game of pretend. (Colin will try to help Penelope to the best of his ability rather by knowledge of potential business partners or by distracting the twins)

Then Cressida makes her claim, Penelope writes one final article, Colin follows her to the church, and then carriage scene. Upon returning to Featherington house, Colin finds out Agatha and Thomas knew about Whistledown to the extent that it was their mama who wrote it. (Penelope didn't need to hide it as much in the countryside) Colin gets Penelope to agree to a marriage by swearing if someone found out Agatha and Thomas would be protected.

The twins get excited jumping up and down happy that, "Papa is acting like a hero! Just like the stories, Mama and Papa are going to live happily ever after!"

Colin starts crying. He never thought Agatha and Thomas would call him papa.

Despite the public story of Agatha and Thomas being Colin's stepkids there are some eyebrow raises when they are among other Bridgertons.

Anthony does find out that Agatha and Thomas are blood Bridgertons when Colin tells him of the plan to reveal Lady Whistledown. Anthony wants to do something but really what can he do? Colin and Penelope are already married.

In their teens, Agatha and Thomas will be told the truth when they find their real birth certificates and find out their mama hyphenated their last names to Featherington-Bridgerton.

#bridgerton #polin #stepdad colin #at least to the public #i wanted to mix it up this time