#all the egos belong to me now and all of them are trans or gay or both.

[b00t-s]

Characters Introduction

All characters belong to Thomas and crew, I just altered them for my au ^^

T.W: MENTAL HEALTH MENTION, DRINK (non alcoholic) MENTION, SOME¿ SWEARING, LONG POST, CAPITALS,TELL ME IF YOU NEED ANY OTHERS.

CHARACTERS (if I find motivation I will draw them)

Thomas Sanders, cis Male, he/him: [30]co-manager of "beans and co". He is a wholesome, good natured man and is a proud gay, and cares for others a lot. Thomas occasionly participates in the local theatre community, depending on his schedule and shifts. He is a HUGE fan of Disney, Harry Potter and all things cartoons. He is extremely partial to a certain regular customer, Nico Flores. Unfortunately, he is a pushover and listens to his employees and co-manager more than he should, and can overthink events repetitively, causing him to worry alot, causing him to trip up alot.

Nico Flores, cis male, he/him: [30]regular customer at Beans and Co. ,and a casual songwriter. Thinks Thomas is pretty cute and adores his feeble attempts at flirting. He's quite a cheerful and friendly dude, but doesn't give a fuck about what other people think. He and Joan have some playful banter, mostly to tease Thomas but their senses of humour just go well together. Has a simple coffee order and doesn't interact much unless Thomas/Joan have a shift.

Joan, non-binary, they/them: [30] co-manager of beans and co. They are as smart as they are funny, and can have a lewd sense of humour. They swear too much for a subtle coffee shop, so Thomas tries not to put them on counter jury. They enjoy art so they do latte art that the customers love and makes the Beans and Co customers regulars. Them and Thomas platonically flirt to confuse everyone often and it is a running gag for regular customers. They are the bestest of best friends. They are currently dating Talyn, who sometimes comes in for coffee but not often.

Janus Anguis, genderfluid, xey/xem: [28] been a barista at Beans and Co. for 5 years, mainly night-shifts. Xey have a dismal view and approach to life, as xey believe society is twisted to manipulate all it's inhabitants; in retaliation Xey lie too much and can be incredibly sarcastic. Janus can make amazing coffee if xey're in a good mood or like you, but if you've upset xem in someway, or xey just hate you for no reason, get ready to have the most bitter coffee ever. Xey hate paradoxes, optical illusions and people in general, unless you are one of the lucky select few. Virgil Frica was not in those few.

Virgil Frica, cis male, he/him: [27] barista at Beans and Co. He is stuck in his emo phase but the people in his life find it endearing, which he hates. He suffers from heightened anxiety which he attempts to disguise in a thick layer of sarcasm and dark eyeshadow. He has a hidden talent for poems, which he doesn't mention much. He regularly dyes his hair purple and doesn't give a fuck about the cafe's policy, so Thomas has just given up telling him. His coffee is medi-core. He constantly tells people he hates his job but he hasn't left for over five years and regularly makes banter with the customers. He and Janus have some sort of rivalry going on but the occasionally team up.

Patton Parvus, trans male, he/him: [29] barista at beans and Co. He is the softest little puffball they team has and all co-workers protect him at all costs. However, he does have a criminal record...and you know...depth....*cough cough spoilers cough cough*ANYWAY he has been working at the cafe for nearly seven years now, 3 years after it had opened, and has been the guide for the new recruits. He and Virgil are the iconic friends of the team, known for their playful dynamic.

Roman ‘Princi’ Realeza, demiboy, he/she: [28] regular customer at Beans and Co. ,and is Good friends with Patton and Virgil but hasn't met Janus yet. He is a minor actor in the Local theatre group, the same one Thomas attends, and is always over-dramatic. His coffee order is.....interesting.....and always angers the newbies, so she is generally directed to Patton, who has worked there long enough and is patient enough to deal with Roman. He is a strong feminist and will stand up for others....even if help is unwanted. She is a proud latino, his father being Spanish. His ego is huge but fragile.

Remus ‘Dukey’ Realeza, non-binary, they/them: [28] Remus is Roman's Twin, and gleefully torments him as much as possible. Unlike Roman, Remus took to more of the creative arts than the dramatic arts, and creates beautiful...or disturbing, depending on how you look at it....paintings. They have been married to Logan Realeza for 3 years now, even though them and him seem to be polar opposites. They mainly bond over medical shit as Logan is a brain surgeon and Remus has an unsettling fascination of gore. Remus is too horny for their own Good, and does not hide it, constantly embarrassing Logan. They may not have a fragile ego like Roman, but they do have mild abandonment issues and a disorder called Pica, meaning they crave and eat non-edible items. Only comes to the café when the know Roman is trying to do something important.

Logan Realeza, cis male, he/him: [29] Logan is a extremely talented Brain Surgeon, and has been presented with the Young Neurosurgeon Award at 24. He has autism but hides it well and is very well accustomed to it. He is married to Remus, something he wonders why he loves daily. They do help him alot with his autism, though, and as much as Logan ‘love is overrated’ Realeza will deny, he really does love Remus. A lot. He was the one to propose in the First place, and he does have a soft spot for romantic poems, and oh boy does Remus know that. He and Roman have a love-hate relationship. Logan doesn't understand why Roman must be so flamboyant, and Roman doesn't know why Logan must be such a buzzkill. Only comes in the café when one of the twins drag him there.

AND THAT'S IT FOR NOW! I am going to start working on a plot and things, but you guys are welcome to interact with the characters and the narrator (me), and ask if you want to be tagged, the usual. This can be interactive so again, feel free to give prompts, give tips, ask the characters questions, etc. I know it's kind of a cliché troupe, but this time it's different, I hope. Anyway, that's it! Thank you for taking the time to read this!

#Sanders sides #ts au #barista au #Thomas Sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #janus Sanders #remus sanders #I hope you enjoy #this is my First fic/au ever hhhh

[lavendulaconminatio]

Years ago I ran a blog on ace discourse: @asleepingwindow As a lesbian raised in the Catholic Church, where you can be gay just don’t act on it, I knew asexual activism had nothing to do with being gay. I know an asexual gay person is the church’s fucking wet dream. I always insisted I don’t care whether people identify that way but stop trying to say you suffer as I do as a lesbian. Stop fucking invading lgbt spaces too and making them unsafe for us! But that was a losing battle. I wonder how this time period will be seen 20-30 years from an lgbt history perspective.

Anyway, besides knowing asexual gay people are the kind of gay people straight people want, I also hated this idea that seemed to be gaining popularity about people being more oppressed simply because they weren’t seen as valid. Validity didn’t mean laws meant to protect their population, or having police see your body as human and worthy of life; they merely meant existing in popular media so people see them. There was never anything deeper than that to so called asexual oppression, which I will never think is a thing. I mean asexuality is a thing but people don’t actively hate you for not having sex, that’s a fact of fucking life. My people died by the thousands in the 80s, sometimes with only lesbians to give a shit, and some straight person says their totes oppressed because they don’t want to fuck? Yeah ok. Or if there was a basis in oppression, it was often just blatant sexism and homophobia. All men say you’re a prude for not having sex, this is nothing special, Jan.

Now years later after arguing my heart out, making a master post and closing up shop, I find myself with another side blog to combat an issue that I once again feel harms lesbians and women. Instead of being more concerned about the men that berate, beat, and kill trans women, activists are literally attacking women, especially lesbians, for not validating trans people. The level of vitriol leveled at a woman for talking about her vagina is so above and beyond any hatred for the men who have murdered trans women.

Then in some perveted irony, those same deaths are propped up as reasons to shut down women talking about sexism. Meanwhile, more women than anyone can count die every day because they are female. We don’t get the luxury of our deaths being marked a hate crime. Instead it’s domestic violence, or maybe FGM gone wrong amoung the countless other things that needlessly and horrifically kill women. And I haven’t even talked about rape.

I knew the ridiculous activism of the asexual movement would have lasting consequences but I honestly never thought the concept of validity would be taken and warped so far to try and pretend biological sex doesn’t exist and that women aren’t female just to make trans women feel better about their dysphoria. I feel immense compassion for anyone with dysphoria, I have it and struggled for a long time to figure out if I was trans or a butch lesbian. There is such an immense disconnect here about the importance of validity and what real oppression looks like. Especially when you refuse to even discuss detrans people for fear it will make you seem less valid. So their struggles don’t exist to make you feel better. Once again, all about erasing females to stroke the egos of males.

This is not the biggest issue on my plate, but it’s a recent small example of tangible consequences to prejudice. The other day I was trying to refill an opioid I have a legal prescription for but the pharmacist refused because they couldn’t find it. Despite having going through this before this woman refused to look where I suggested, and I suffered in pain for 3 days before my doctor’s office was able to tell them they had it for sure. I mean this isn’t about sexism and more about ableism (though women’s pain is often discounted more, black pain even more) In that moment, I didn’t want to be validated. I didn’t want the pharmacist to know who I am, my identity, my disabilities, I wanted her to stop judging pain patients as a whole and give me my fucking legal prescription. Every single legislation and guideline that limits opioid prescriptions are born of a prejudice against addicts and a indifference to people in pain. That pharmacist didn’t give a shit about my pain, to bother even looking, because the rules made her right and I was probably an addict anyway. That is a real tangible feeling of oppression, and like I said it’s nothing compared to other examples I just didn’t want to dig up anything more upsetting.

That is how I feel about oppression. Validity matters, representation matters, but it is not the nitty gritty of what oppression is. It’s screaming at the walls, throwing your phone, because someone with the power to judge and fuck up your life, did exactly that. And worse they feel righteous for what they did because to them you’re just a “insert slur here”. And that’s just a small nonviolent and nonlethal example.

Now unlike asexuality, I know to be trans is to be oppressed and to suffer. But you cannot lift yourself up by putting others down, you will be on a tower of dominos that can fall the moment some other group does it to you. I always said trans people obviously belonged with LGB groups because obviously bigots didn’t care if a couple was two gay men or a man and non-passing trans woman. To me it spoke to a shared history and understanding. But maybe I was wrong, maybe that doesn’t exist. I think at least the one major difference now that I can definitely see is it’s ridiculous to infer female privilege by calling us cis. One thing is for sure, LGB and trans history are not as simple as I had ignorantly assumed in the past.

I don’t want to dictate what trans life is like, I don’t want deny any adult the right to transition, I don’t have any interest in misgendering, I believe there is a difference between sex and gender. But by fucking god I will not let anyone trample on my rights, call me bitch, cunt, terf, cum dumpster, deny my oppression as a female, deny my suffering, deny my reality as a female, just so You can feel better about your body. I will not sacrifice my body at the alter of your perceptions of your body.

Society loves to say otherwise, but women don’t exist to make you feel better. We don’t exist to make men feel more like a man or for trans women to feel more like a woman. We exist for our fucking selves, leave us alone! I’m not sorry if it makes you feel less of a woman because you need to address the misogyny you have been socialized into as a male. You all reek of sexism and think being trans means you magically cannot be affected by male socialization. That is some first class Bullshit. I’m a poor disabled lesbian, and none of that erases the racial bias I was taught and raised in as a white person. I always need to be willing to confront that, and it’s no different with males. Trans or cis, all of you were raised to hate women. Own it so we can fucking get past it.

Furthermore, our society only does better when we foster discourse. Disagreeing can be enraging but it’s how you learn if your own beliefs are worth keeping or discarding. It’s how you grow. Only insecure bullies feel the need to demand loyalty, stamp out dissent, and mock their opponents than actually argue. Don’t give into this intellectual dishonesty that might be easy, feel good, gain you a moment of praise, but ultimately throws women’s liberation and equality under the bus and into a raging inferno. How dare you think your right to feel valid is more important than my right to live freely and without shame as a female.

I’m very much open to good faith discourse on this topic, but do not mistake me. I have suffered for being born with a vagina, and no male will ever get to shut me up. So the next time you want to say choke on a dick, choke on your own.

#misogyny #sexism #feminism #trans activism #radical feminism #gender critical

[schizo-spoon-blog]

Spoonbender Society: Selected Schizoepistles

FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE:

We Live In A Society

People say we live in a democracy/democratic republic, a form of government intended to amplify what people think and address problems they find to be important. But it doesn’t ever seem to function that way.

The issue is in voter suppression, but as always not in the way people generally think voter suppression works. The issue is psychic, spiritual, and social suppression of citizens. Systemic over-development of senses of rationalization, neuroticism and anxiety, industrially incentivized narcissism.

People develop a deathly fear of what others think, or may think, or what they may have thought about them or what they think, what they may think, or what they may have thought.

A democracy where we’d rather not hear what other people have to say, because we find their thoughts offensive and retarded. That’s one thing people are happy to share. But because we suspect that there are so many offensive retards in the world, we fear... "Perhaps I’m a retard too?" You wonder that even for just a second in your life, if you have a soul. It’s OK to be a retard really, but you’ll never believe that it’s OK, and that's probably What Your Fucking Problem Is.

The opinions of us purported non-retards, to avoid sounding like complete retards, end up soft, ambivalent and stale, phrased like True Neutral Orgasm in Ego-Death Nirvana, but less Chad, less gratifying, and nobody cums. To not be reminded of the possibility of our own retardation, we like to pretend that if the retards just shut up and nobody can hear them, they go away. If they are Physically Removed from our presence, their evil thoughts and their malicious intentions will go away with them. We win. But they don’t. They never do.

We always fail to Psychically Remove them. We lose.

We can hypothesize a law of conservation of hatred, correlate one too of love, but the truth is banal. How can it be in light of our timeline? Why are these Hate Groups all over the place? Hitler’s corpse is rotting or burned to a crisp, or embalmed in a tomb or made a toilet for Some Rich Dude ((parenthetical removed)). (Or was he cloned?)

Great Fatherland Germany - defeated by the "untermensch" and partitioned like a cheese between rats. That Great "Faustian" and "Supreme" "Aryan" Race is subjugated by the hated "Juden" and all the "vermin" of the world, humiliated, castrated to be reunited a shadow of its former self. Yet the Nazi threat is omnipresent nearly a century later, in an era which may be an alien planet to those who lived in Hitler’s time.

How is it that the Great Allies, our fathers and grandfathers, achieved such total victory over so loathsome a foe, so unsympathetic and vile, only to see his Evil infect their own countrymen and posterity? How can something so thoroughly defeated still persist in what could be our neighbors or our co-workers our bosses or our employees? Each one could be a secret Nazi now. In parenting blogs moms worry that their children are becoming Nazis from goofy men they see in videos on line. Marriages are ending in divorce because the husband or wife is allegedly or apparently a Nazi. How could this happen?

Have you ever seen “The Matrix? Who hasn’t? You know all about the red and blue pills, and all the rainbow-flag DLC that it comes with, black and pink and green and brown and in configurations invisible to the human eye, I’m sure. If you don't know, the pills are portals to different realities. Take the black pill and you only see death, take the white pill and everything’s alright, take the blue pill you vote for Hillary, take the pink you become genderqueer. But this is not about taking any pills. This is about going off your meds. Going straight edge - except for whiskey, cigarettes, cocaine and pussy. It’s about the spoon - no, not for shooting up. It's for bending - with your mind. Remember? That spoon - The Spoon That Isn’t There.

That spoon is a Nazi.

If you are aware that there is no spoon you can tie it into knots. You can make it into a balloon animal. That Nazi Spoon could be a Jewish Socialist from Vermont, or a kosher Brooklyn Zionist, or a Dominican Taxi Driver. It could be an evil copy of your own son from Bizzaro World. It's probably your uncle. It could be Rottweilers, and Chihuahuas. Whether Pitbulls are Nazis or Jews/Blacks is an ongoing debate in the contemporary discourse.

But imaginary shit can be whatever the hell you want. You don’t have to be "The One" to Bend the Spoon. You don’t have to be anyone at all. What was the name of the kid who said the line about the spoon again? Nobody knows, nobody cares, and that's the beauty of Spoonbending.

"The Nazi" is the guy who keeps talking when he should shut up. He might be autistic, but he could just be an asshole. There is a strong possibility he could be both. Why does he keep saying all of this ridiculous stuff? He’s more offensive and more retarded than the usual, but it feels like He Has To Be This Way. Like it’s his curse, He Knows Too Much. He fell down some rabbit hole and ended up gorged on Fascist Propaganda. He mentions some girl named Celine. He rambles on about some guy you’re pretty sure is a Tekken character... the guy who turns into the Devil maybe. He mentions a vacation in Turkey with his family but insists on saying Constantinople and there’s a wild-man tear in his eye. He insists he knows about Atlantis and calls you gay for saying you liked Aquaman. Instead of saying goodbye he says “Subscribe to Pewdiepie.” The Nazi belongs in an institution. You wonder if he has guns and if maybe he should have them taken for a while. He probably doesn’t, but you can’t be sure. He’s 12.

When is it too early to become a school shooter? Is 12 too early to be an incel?

12 is probably the age at which incels hatch from their human hosts.

“Who is Pewdiepie, and how has he groomed my nephew into the Hitler Youth?” many families today are asking. They think they’re looking at a spoon. Conditoning fills your heart with a desperate desire to see the spoon. A fact, pure fact, logical, reasonable, peer reviewed, widely accepted, So True, a Textbook Fact. The spoon. Everyone else sees it too. That goddamn Nazi Spoon.

You ever try to ask this at a party as an ice-breaker and see how the guests react?

“So, anyway, was The Holocaust Real?”

“Excuse me, what?”

“What do you think, was it real, how many people do you think died, don’t the gas chambers sound goofy to you?”

”Um… no… they don’t sound goofy. What are you talking about?”

“You ever hear about the Nazi Roller-coaster they had at one of the camps? They’d put Jews into a roller-coaster except they’d fly off the edge and get splattered. That’s how the Nazis killed ‘em. I swear. I read it in a book by a Holocaust Survivor. Impossible to believe if it weren’t so True. No shit. You hear about that?”

”I’m… gonna get another beer.”

Of course there’s a Correct answer to that initial question. It’s also the Right answer. Who would ever get this wrong? It's the 2+2=X of History. Well…

Pop-Quiz, Random Nazi Check, Anybody here Hate Jews? You a Groyper, Son? What’s so funny? You think the Cookie Monster committing genocide is a laughing matter boy? We don’t take kindly to your kind around here.

Maybe you should give the Nazi-check thing a try, it’ll separate sheep and goat real easy for you.

If you do this everyone will think you are The Nazi.

The Nazis hated Jews, but did they hate real Jews as Jews exist, or did they hate the Fascist Propaganda Jew who was a work of fiction? On that note, were you in love with your last failed relationship, or just pretending you were? Have you ever had one impression of a person, but then learned they were another kind of person entirely? That first impression you had, the one that wasn’t True, was that a Real Person, or Imaginary? But you still spent all that money and sweat on an imaginary girl, huh?

Hope her hole was real.

I think that fake bitch of an ex you dated was a nazi. Your ex was a fascist. Oh, was she Jewish? It doesn’t matter, changes nothing. I’ve never met her - wouldn't matter if I did. When I imagine her, she's in Hugo Boss black and got skull-and-bones on her officer's cap, and she's saying racial slurs as she ruins your life, cheats on you, drains your bank account and kills your dog after getting custody over it in court. I imagine all bad people this way. All women who rejected me were exactly like this.

But I must breach working-class anti-fascist solidarity, and admit, on That Question ("Would you?").... Yeah, I would. Sorry bro. Take me away Comrades, I admit it, I'd give it to that Nazi Jew raw. Would I do that to her as she exists, or the Fascist Propaganda her who is a work of fiction?

That depends. You still got her number?

haha it's ok you can call me an incel, it's a step up from what i actually am

(User was banned for this post.)

The Nazi and the Fascist aren’t my hallucinations. That’s not my mental illness. But it’s adjacent to me, it’s thrown at me without my Consent, and it's a Trigger. I'm paranoid about commies myself.

In the multicultural cyberpunk year of 2019, with its trans-human gender-sex-orientations, anti-racist ethno-narcissism, fanatic anti-normalism, cultish critical theory intersections, grand byzantine minimalism, placidity, in such splendid predatory banality… In the absolute state of the world! – Aah! An undead ideology conceived by a salty Frenchman in the badlands of South Dakota in the 1890s shambles forth the devour all that is Good and Holy in the Great United States of AmeriKKKa, God Help Us All! And A Child Will Lead Those Dreadful Legions of Corruption Upon All The Meek Of Our Fallen World!

Or it’s just a spoon that isn’t real.

Nobody wants to be straight-forward, and I gotta navigate the labyrinths of euphemism. Maybe there's something weird going on - how people talk, how people act, how people think, none of those correlate to each other. It makes you feel schizo when you do all your mental rain-man calculus and realize there's a fucking Elephant in the living room and he's not wearing any goddamn pants. Once that little ray-of-sunshine blesses your tiny bug-man brain to enlighten you that the elephant is real, and the spoon isn't, it's only a matter of time before you're crowned in tinfoil a Potato King on your off-grid Bug-out estate in the Idaho Panhandle, or start drinking yourself to death and bullying mailmen (or both).

If you'd like to avoid that sort of Elephant-Mania Spoon-denialism, maybe you should try answering Uncomfortable Question instead of being so Weird about it, oh wise Mr. Kirk, Mr. Shapiro, Mr. Talking-Head, Mr. Important-Guy, Mr. Movement, Mr. Politics, Mr. Voice of Reason, Mr. Metatron. Take it from a schizo-maniac with a manifesto, you’re freaking out the hoes.

Try Praeger U talking points out on a Tinder date and watch her shrivel up from instathot to instahag -- she will go through menopause before your very eyes, that's how dry her pussy will get. Trying not to sound racist while talking about the Antarctic Nazi base and the importance of craniometry in ethnocultural anthropology will get you more action than anything that sounds like a paraphrase of Charlie Kirk -- because even if you're still being cringe at least you aren't being fake. Point and laugh at that fucking elephant - the moron isn't even wearing pants! That'll get her thinking about taking your pants off. Or not - it's not foolproof. If she doesn't laugh, red-flag, she's a Nazi so Begone Thot!

Please, for the love of God, go off-script! See the damn elephant and forget the spoon, and forget the wise Mr. Kirk, Mr. Shapiro, Mr. Talking-Head, Mr. Important-Guy, Mr. Movement, Mr. Politics, Mr. Voice of Reason, Mr. Metatron. Take it from a schizo-maniac with a manifesto, you'll go insane if you don't.

[. . . ] [T]hen there's that neuroticism, that narcissism, that fear. The whole point of these politics groups and gatherings and Q&As is what, anyway? Is it really just basic marketing tactics, like a live-action advertisement you expect for people to passively consume as though it is persuasive? To shove free-markets and free-speeches down my throat and have me swallow it without having anything that’s been bothering me answered? What do I look like to you, an Ideology Whore? You don't even reciprocate a good time, huh? I'm not that kind of girl. You didn't even buy me dinner. You made me pay to bore me. I'd cuck you if we dated just to make a very important point -- fully aware it'll go over your head. Fuck you.

We gotta hear The Script. We gotta recite The Script.

Real Conservatives Think Like This. Real Progressives Think Like This. White People Walk Like This. Black People Walk Like This.

Gotta hear that joke ten thousand times so you can recite it like a mantra in your sleep.

Free markets mean free people. Facts don’t care about your feelings. Private Companies can do what they wish. What you do in your bedroom is your own business. We want legal immigration, not illegal.

Abolish ICE. Your childhood hero says Trans-Rights. Do you not want me in the movement? Abolish whiteness.

The Racism of Lowered Expectations.

Reparations.

A white nation.

Workers of the world unite!

Abortion is a human right.

Have you got it memorized?

Let’s go over it a few more times.

Say it with me! Hillary was found innocent in a hundred hearings and it is sexist to besmirch her reputation.

Repeat after me! Trump’s economy is the best in history, and if he's racist why is black unemployment is at historical lows.

You benefit from unearned privilege. You suffer from toxic masculinity.

The world is about to end and everything you know and love will die, and it is your fault, for not believing in the correct things at the correct time.

Are you laughing yet?

I’m dying. I feel like an e-girl, and my orbiters are sides.

But do you wanna know what I really think? The whole bit about psychic and social suppression? You ever hear about the Procrustean bed? Well, what if we put your political, social, moral consciousness and your psychic abilitys into a bed like that. We could talk about it. You ever play Xenogears?

Or you could just put me in a box. I really wouldn't mind. I'm Houdini. Hey, was Houdini a Nazi, like Henry Ford? Can we get a fact-check? I didn't mean to be problematic.

Break the Conditoning - Step outside the box, and use it as a step ladder. Ascend, Beyond the Box - use The Spoon.

Bush did 9/11, the Israeli’s danced, the Aliens killed JFK - sure - but I only say this because of my MK Ultra Schizo-brain. It’s true, it’s false, it’s fact, it’s myth, I don’t have to believe any of it -- I also don't have to believe any of you if I don’t want to. My feelings do not care about your facts, and did you know that some of the world's most uncomfortable facts are manifested into being by uncomfortable feelings? Is it the fact of the bullet that kills the political dissident, or the feelings of his executioner? Is it the deranged lust of the rapist that violates his victim, or the fact of his power to do so? I guess it depends on whether the perpetrator said "nothing personnel kid" before he committed the act. I don't know about that Nazi Rapist's feelings, but MY feelings are valid and I can believe or disbelieve whatever I want on the basis of my feelings, and my feelings alone. My feelings bend the spoon of your facts.

Are you going to say I don’t have the right, Adolf? Sucks for you, bud, I may be a commie by blood, but the heart that pumps it was assembled in the ole USA -- and we got the Right to be a Retard here in America. It's a Free Country.

[Note: please insert image of Jonathan Frakes from Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction]

Now that the dust has settled: Was the Nazi Roller-Coaster Real? Or did we put the Truth in a Mass-Grave? We will let you know at the conclusion of our program.

Sincerely and Full of Suffering Your Friend Always, Orcbrand

[itsswimmingtragedycollection]

YouTubers are shitty people

First of all, deal with it, accept it, let it sink in so we can fix it like we should have done a long time ago. The more I get to know and learn about that community, the more I am convinced it’s specifically appealing to extraordinarily self absorbed, self important, egocentric, entitled people, and that’s no coincidence. I couldn’t put my finger on it for a long time, because it’s not until you come across a *few* actually decent youtubers that it becomes obvious. Reminds me of older generations and casual homophobia. They never see it as an issue because in their circles, everyone is doing it and it’s very well accepted if not even demanded.  The main reason I chose to call them collectively shitty instead of naming names, even though not *literally* every single one of them is shitty, is because they all (at least the very successful ones) seem to share certain character traits. But before we get into that, let’s discuss yt as a platform first. The best thing about it is also the absolute worst thing about it: ANYONE CAN DO IT. Politicians talk about farming as a low skill job, but that ain’t it, being a youtuber is. If you know how to film a video and have internet access, congratulations! Because that’s literally it. Now of course, some creators will put more time and effort and their additional skills into their work, but even if turning your camera on is all you got, it’s not an obstacle whatsoever. Just look at Tana Mongeau real quick. She sits in front of the camera, tells a whatever story, that could easily fit into THREE sentences, for half an hour, with minimal editing and bam! Hands down one of the laziest ‘content creators’ to this day, but still, in the yt world, she’s the 1%.  Other than Tana Mongeau, the more important problems with ‘anyone can do it’ are the factors determining who becomes the fairest of them all (which is what enabled her rise to fame in the first place). This is where we get political, but let’s get real, spilling the tea about who said what about who is so last year, in 2019 we’re looking at the bigger picture. The bigger picture would be, where we are as a society, which is not a good place at all. The situation is, a handful of people~the famous 1%~are fucking us in the ass for profit and effectively getting away with it.(Not really news) They are able to accomplish that with three main mechanisms: 1. Keeping people busy and stressed. If you have to get up early, work all day for shit pay and worry about paying your bills, debts, feeding yourself, keeping that job...you don’t actually have the time for much else. An average worker doesn’t have hours or days to spend on in-depth researching of socioeconomic trends, they’re mostly just going to rely on quick news they get from the media, which, as we all know, does not paint an accurate picture, to say the least. That middle class persona, who has a decent job, full 8 hours of sleep and some free time, with the rising rates of poverty and homelessness, is becoming a rarer and rarer occurrence.  2. Isolation. There’s this whole individualism thing that we got going on. You know the ‘We are all individuals for ourselves!! If you’re successful, it’s only because of YOU personally and if you’re a failure it’s because you’re stupid and unworthy!! Everyone is competition!! Asking for help is shameful!’ And also, belonging to a group (American, white, black, gay, straight, man, woman, trans...) is a part of our identity, but it’s almost like, identifying with a certain group means picking a side. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s great to know where you come from and to find a place where you belong, but individualism has us thinking that the differences between these groups are somehow irreconcilable, when, in reality, we have a lot more in common than not.  3. Providing you with an enemy. We all see this every day. ‘Mexicans are stealing your jobs! Immigrants are the biggest threat to national security! North Korea is our number one enemy!’ You know, usually people with virtually no political or decision making power in the country get to take all the blame. And if you’re an average person, stressed, depressed and isolated, and someone points a finger and says ‘This is the reason your life sucks’ instead of saying ‘Hold up, that’s not true, you’re the reason my life sucks, get that dusty dick out of my ass and let me take a break’ you end up throwing stones at people getting fucked just as hard as you.  (I would also like to point out that a big part of keeping this in place is fucking up the education system and rewriting history in a way that favors the existing situation so one feels less inclined to question it form an early age.) Now let’s get back to youtubers. The reason I wrote this long ass introduction is because youtubers come from the society and are very much a part of it. They don’t fall from the sky straight into our hearts, even though it might feel that way sometimes. In fact they are a product of it, because who thrives and who perishes is decided by the said society. People tend to gather around content that resonates with them, so just like a Trump supporter is very unlikely to endorse AOC, and vice-versa, we support youtubers that align with/represent our own beliefs and values the most. So upon taking into consideration the very shitty values and beliefs that we get shoved down our throats on a daily basis, it is only reasonable to assume they take part in deciding which youtuber we like and want to see succeed. And if we take a closer look at youtube’s it list, we will notice some pretty worrying similarities. First of all it’s rare to find one without a questionable past (and present) that ranges from racism, sexism, misogyny to bullying, lying, scamming...It’s so common that it’s not even that big of a deal anymore, it’s just a thing that happens. Kinda like apology videos. Who doesn’t have at least one these days? It’s hard for me to believe that out of hundreds of thousands of youtubers out there, we somehow accidentally cherry picked, almost exclusively, only the ‘problematic’ ones. And they are all ‘problematic’ in the same way.   Second of all, they are very self important. Also coincidentally.  When you make tons of money and have worldwide fame at a young age, and most of them are young, you start to think that you *must* be special. God must have put his finger on your forehead and made you better than everyone for all of that to happen to you. Sadly, this is encouraged by fans too. Even more so since today being rich is *the shit*  and the ultimate end game, so people will look up to them, admire them, idolize them etc. This leaves a very strong ‘you can’t sit with us’ aftertaste and frequent outbursts of entitlement whether it’s inability to take criticism, coming after regular people, letting fans tear them apart or  refusing to be held accountable for your bs and blaming other people. I think James Charles is an excellent example of an entitled youtuber. Even Gabbie Hanna handles criticism better. And he also categorically refuses to be responsible for any damage he does. Whenever a sister scandal occurs it’s either a) not his fault or b) he was a different person back then and has since done some personal growth so we can’t hold it against him.  Next, we gotta talk about that youtuber ego. We get to experience it any and every time someone asks ‘Why tf are youtubers getting payed insane amounts of money?’ They are a very easily triggered bunch and I can’t count all the times I heard ‘YOUTUBE IS A JOB NO ONE WORKS FOR FREE SO NEITHER DO WE JEALOUSY IS A DISEASE GET WELL SOON’  Here’s the thing though, no one disputes the fact that it’s a job. What is unfathomable to outsiders is, why would someone give a person five figures for saying ‘Buy this shit it’s really cool’ on camera? How is that possibly worth that much? Fact of the matter is, it’s not, but saying ‘By this shit it’s really cool’ to a shit ton of your followers, is. The youtuber ego is what happens when you can’t say ‘We earn money by exploiting the trust our fans put in us’ but you still have to justify your position so you say ‘First of all. We’re super special, original and unique. This is a very hard job, we work our asses of, if it was easy, everyone would do it.’ And then you star believing it. But more importantly, your followers believe it too. At the beginning I pointed out that anyone can to it because it’s a low skill job, so if you wondered why everyone is not doing it, it’s precisely because we’re constantly being told the opposite, and I gotta say, I don’t see anyone questioning it. Even though it’s not even remotely true. Take a look at any group, beauty gurus, entertainers, commentary channels, drama channels, whatever you choose, if you’ve seen five creators in a bunch, you’ve pretty much seen them all, not a whole lot of originality going on there. In fact, this ‘uniqueness’ is nothing more than some basic branding. Drinking coffee is so Emma Chamberlain, conspiracy theories are so Shane Dawson, racism is so Pewdiepie and so on.  Pewdiepie actually brings me to my last point. He illustrates what I want to say so incredibly well. As we all know, he’s been called out, multiple times, for blatant racism, antisemitism, sexism, overall regressive, aggressive, harmful standpoints. And absolutely nothing happened, he’s doing just fine. Why is that? Because, firstly, he never gets called out by his own fans. Like I said, we pick who we support, which means his fans gathered around him because they liked and shared his viewpoints in the first place. Not only did they not call him out, they defended him. How many times is Pewdiepie going to have a sister scandal and get away with it? As many as he wants. He’s never gonna be cancelled because the only people who have the power to do that, love his racism. He’s virtually untouchable. It makes sense why he acts like he’s got God by the balls. And, coincidentally, he is the most followed youtuber in history of youtubers with 80 MILLION SUBSCRIBERS. All the other shitty youtubers ™ stay relevant and slaying for the exact same reason. Their fans like them because they are shitty, it’s a vicious circle. Not ony are shitty youtubers ™ a reflection of how much we need to do better, they are to an extent preventing that from happening. ‘Such, such and such bad behaviour made this person rich and famous, so it must be good, and every time I watch their videos I am surrounded by people who think the same, which in turn, encourages me to glorify it even more.’  The whole reason I wrote this, is because we really, really, need to do better. I have seen people calling them out on things I mention here, but so far I never saw anyone connecting the epidemic of shitty youtubers ™  to our current circumstances as a society, which is definitely there. So instead of wrapping ourselves into the comfortable blanket of ‘as long as a lot of other people are thinking like me, everything is fine’ we should start asking for more from ourselves and others.  Pass it on, spread the good word. 

#youtubers #james charles #emma chamberlain #pewdixpie #dolan twins #tana mongoose #tana mongeau #jeffree starr #gabbie hanna #the gabbie show #the real tea #jenna marbles #spilling the tea #writing #social commentary #imallexx #onision

[purplepeoplelickingtruthpeddler]

For the (especially trans) people out there watching tru/med discourse go down: the idea that you need a specific kind of dysphoria, dysphoria period, or the desire to medically transition, in order to be a "real trans" is toxic gatekeeper bullshit.

Nobody goes from 0-100, from cis to trans. You question things a lot, and gradually. Talking about "leading kids to question themselves" as if it's a bad thing. Know now, if you can question your gender, if there's literally any wiggle room to do that, you should. If there's a 0.05 percent chance that you'll be happier from questioning your gender, you should. If you're like "%99.99 cis" but there's still a %00.01 part of you that feels uncomfortable with your assigned gender, you should question. Nobody gets to quantify how much unhappiness merits exploring your gender but you. Everybody starts here, however far it goes. Because we minimize our trans experiences the way transphobic people around us have done since forever, until we learn otherwise.

Plenty of binary trans people don't feel the need to medically transition, they are still %100 trans and %100 their gender identity. If cis people don't get to define them by their sex characteristics, neither too do trans people. Trans people don't get a special pass saying we’re incapable of or allowed to be transphobic towards our own community. This space belong to all trans people.

Plenty of trans people would love to medically transition to have both or no sex characteristics. But you don't see that option available, it's not normalized, and no one thinks transitioning outside of the binary is okay or that people outside of the binary want to transition at all. Intersex people are still treated like undesireables. it's assumed that enbies don't experience dysphoria. This space belongs to all trans people.

As someone who's also pan, this rhetoric exists in other communities. It's always "if you’re bi then you're not as wlw or mlm as I am", it's always "you're not pan, you're bi and confused, stop erasing us with your existence", it's always a pissing contest to see who's experiencing the most misery. Dysphoria is terrible, but it is okay to not have your identity defined by your pain, or by the biggotry you've experienced. Someone else being trans and not experiencing the particular struggles you've experienced does not negate your identity. Maybe no one's ever told you that, I can't apologize for them, or for your parents, or for your community, and I can't make people validate themselves outside of abuse and ego. I've tagged younger family members as queer years before they came out to me. They may never openly identify. They may never be active with the same gender. Their identity can and probably will change again as they continue questioning. I'm still not ever going to be more gay than they are, I'm never going to need to compare myself to them to feel pride. If you need to think of yourself as a higher level of gay or trans to feel proud, then generally I feel sorry for you that the inevitable biggots in your life got into your head.

We should want people to question. We should want our communities to grow. Anyone who tells you otherwise isn't even on their own side, much less yours.

#discourse tw #transphobia tw #transmeds tw #truscum tw #homophobia mention #profanity tw #abuse mention #intersexphobia tw #panphobia tw #biphobia tw #long post

[thosemintcookies]

another analysis: swiss army man

at first glance, while it could be as interpreted as just some dude with a crush enacting his love fantasies in her back yard with a corpse, but that’d be wrong. he’s not even in love with the girl, and the movie shows that it’s a kind of fantasical world and manny’s not just a regular corpse?

brace yourselves y’all this one’s long.

except in swiss army man hank isn’t in love with sarah he just wants to become her? it’s still like a gross obsession, but it’s in idealizing this still image where she’s at peace and happy and he’s a sack of shit on a bus. he doesn’t really care about her, just that image of her in a sunny yellow dress, writing in her journal. it’s the feeling of having her shit together, of being intelligent and not having to talk to others for approval. and peace with herself, enough to write down her own thoughts. the thing that gets them out of the woods is the image of her, again. it’s not a discussion on what her body must feel like, her lips, her skin, or any other sexual thought, just that image.

even though it turns out that they’re basically in sarah’s backyard by the end of the journey (manny’s dick just chose that house), it’s not like they’re creeping on her specifically. yes, he looks at her social media, but not necessarily with the goal of peeping on her or violating her privacy (maybe it was a too much to even take a pic of her, he keeps admitting he’s a shitty person). he wants her happiness, not her.

the repeated visual of hank in obvious drag, the shoddy wig, the raggy dress, is an image of his attempts to hold up a facade of happiness and how bad he is at it. he’s obviously very concerned with the way his parents feel about him (prevents him from masturbating-expressing his needs even in the quietest and most private moments) and the way society feels about him (his excuse about dressing as a woman wasn’t that he was uncomfortable-he was even happy when told he’s beautiful. his complaints are about other people), and these emotions weigh heavily on him. he wants to kill himself in the beginning ffs.

speaking of, the film is really not sexual. manny gets an erection but it’s used as a compass, he’s disgusted with his penis and doesn’t know what a vagina is. hank, when he gets the chance to talk about sex, reacts in a restrained way, he doesn’t even masturbate, is presumably a virgin, and even when alone with manny he doesn’t talk about women in a sexual way, it’s all about the romance.

manny, i think, is meant to be a sort of empty vessel, a tool (a swiss army man, if you will) to help hank figure himself out. he’s a reflection of hank- a dead man who wants to live, and a living man who wants to die. a conscious mind with a body unable to act freely. except hank is the ego, constantly in his head about every little thing, even hiding to fart being stranded in the wilderness. manny’s the id, obviously being clueless to society and the restraints it creates, talking brashly and innocently about farting and masturbating. as they work together, they rely on each other to survive. they have to reconcile.

so there’s this build up, of them getting to know each other, using each other to move forward, and eventually, you get this almost kiss between them when they’re drunk (cut short) followed by a scene where there’s unnamed tension between them. underwater, they do kiss, on the brink of death, and hank is surprised that manny has life saving air inside of him.  it’s a baptism scene, where the sexual (romantic?) tension has been resolved, they reconcile, and they survive. the way it’s shot- with flashes back to the “party” where they were supposed to kiss, hints that this moment is a resolution. 

rocket river, the song playing when they surface has interesting lyrics (the only one in the movie with three parts that have sung words)-one part, in awe at the depths of emotions of another (how were you heartless?/i saw your sadness) and what they’re doing (totally crazy/we’re fucking sailing!) and also empathetic and melancholy (i took your sadness/ and made it my own + i see a sad me/ mirrored in your soul). another voice is incoherent but curious and wanting to help (i want to climb in your brain devour the where on we know you still have feelings of you’re still afraid of the shame). there’s an understanding of each other at this point, mutualism.  the last voice, is also one of comfort, that they’re not just useless sacks of shit (everything, everywhere, matters to everything). still up in the air who the voice belongs to.

the movie is bisected here, so now that they’ve joined, hank decides to be honest about the whole ordeal, that the phone is his, that sarah doesn’t know either of them. with the hurt of betrayal, manny stops being useful to hank, his machine gun mouth stops working. hank gets a gruesome leg injury from a bear. they start a downward spiral, where they both start accepting and wanting death. so there’s a thing where they accept death, and now, not holding onto that false hope anymore, where all the honesty happens, and there are no more lies between them, and they’ve broken all the social taboos and talked about everything, when everything is laid bare, true empathy is possible. manny even gains the ability to share his thoughts. then, the roles become reversed. hank is as good as dead, on the ground, immobile, and manny gains the ability to move. he carries hank to sarah’s house, and they fight manny questioning why he can’t poke and prod the same way hank has poked and prodded him. again, this is a part open to interpretation so i won’t go too far here. realizing that others won’t accept him, manny returns to being dead.

do i think manny and hank are supposed to be romantically involved? not necessarily. i do think that hank is queer and ashamed of it, whether that means he’s trans (he does like being in that dress, however haphazard it is, and he seems genuinely happy to hear he’s beautiful that way) or it’s about his sexual orientation (he’s incredibly sexually frustrated, feels no one will love him, and extremely guarded about being with manny in intimate contexts at the start) it’s not entirely clear, but i don’t think it matters too much for the narrative. speculate all you want here, but it should also be noted that manny is sort of a generic name with man in it-no last name given. the lyrics to the song playing are meant to be taken literally; the lyrics narrate that they’ve killed raccoons, using manny like a machine gun and building a fire. why not believe it when the song alludes to them falling in love? however, the movie is still highly metaphorical. whether manny represents a part of hank and it’s just sort of the parts of him coming together, or whether manny’s representative of a separate entity that allows hank to open up about himself away from society and gives him freedom to be himself, it’s up to the viewer to decide, idgaf. either way, the homoerotic aspects of the film are very purposeful and they’re not played entirely comically. hank expressing happiness at being called beautiful, confusion and panic at manny’s erection, the makeshift bus scene, the kiss, etc.

i get irked when people say it’s just mindless gay necrophilia because there’s a lot of things about accepting oneself, even the parts that are hard to, and that this half-dead guy isn’t just a dead body- the cameraman picks up manny farting away into the ocean, released into the wind. he’s kind of a spirit, i think, but it’s all very confusing. and the argument that this was just all happening in hank’s head, while it can be substantiated, isn’t the most compelling argument.  it centres on farts, but it’s themes aren’t immature. it’s meant to be ridiculous and imaginative. no one’s advocating fucking a corpse. in fact, the people, when they realize how close hank is to the presumed dead body, they’re disgusted and ready to arrest him, but upon having proof that manny’s not quite dead, hank’s dad even smiles a bit and nods to him.

could it have been conveyed in the same way had they not used the fart as a mechanism to question society? i don’t think so. it’s not just fart humour, it’s an analysis of why we think farts are a social taboo. they’re necessary and intimate. why of all things, is gas seen as something funny?

the film says a lot about self loathing, emasculation, the toxicity of society on expectations of gender roles and expression, and how it all ties into mental illness. it’s disheartening to see people dismiss a film like this. how can it be whiny heterocissexism when it puts into question the legitimacy of these institutions?

#swiss army man #thoughts #observations

[disregardcanon]

end of the year writing meme: tagging anyone who wants to do this! i’m just bringing it back from last year again 

or: 2017 in fanfiction 

Total Stories Written: 62

Total Words Written:  150k ish  Average Words Per Story: somewhere 3-5k probably  Shortest Story: Skyscraper and Short Stuff at 302  Longest: Jane the Metahuman, my still incomplete the flash/jane the virgin crossover fic at  19,936 

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?

less, probably. i had a great fic stall over the summer and the first few months of the school year where i just couldn’t get anything written. also i have a ton of unfinished wips that i can’t apply to my word count.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write most?

i wrote the most for snaibsel and young justice, though i didn’t get caught up on one fandom much  What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?

hannibal/brooklyn nine nine crossover fic. enough said Did you take any writing risks this year?

i wrote longer fics and some crossover fics, both of which scare me quite a lot so trying them out really paid off. 

Do you have any fanfic or general writing goals for the new year?

1. post a lot of fics for femslash february. i have a goal of at least 15.

2. write more original fiction.

3. maybe finish that yj season 3 fic i’ve started work on? maybe.

these are the exact same goals as last year omg

From the past year of writing, what was your… Best story of this year: 

you, me and the flash makes three probably. it’s the story that i’n the most proud of in general. i feel like i was able to work within the flash season 1 canon while also tweaking and adding things to make the ot3 work. 

Most popular story of this year: Imagined Infidelity is the most popular on all fronts but bookmarks, which belong to Mantis Prays to Oregon (a far superior fic in my opinion. that one’s of my favorites of the year) 

Personal favorite:

Borrowing Problems from the future was the first real fic i was able to complete in months after my writing drought, so i have a real soft spot for it, especially because it allowed me to explore alex fierro’s character a bit and try to fix a few problems i had with the way their relationship was handled. 

Most under-appreciated: 

i have two for this one, tbh 

the man in yellow in the living room with the knife: this is my flash/pushing daisies crossover which REALLY ends up working but hardly anyone read

The Spark that Will Light the Fire: what if rose tico was a stormtrooper and we actually addressed the stormtrooper issue in tlj? what if???? 

Most fun to write:

Jane the Metahuman. I haven’t worked on it in a while, but it’s always so fun to just slip into the universe where the jane the virgin characters and the flash characters are friends. it’s just so delightfully weird and fun to write. Story with the single sexiest moment:

Blame Me, I Will Wear It hate sex between iris west and a caitlin snow that’s almost kind of herself and almost kind of killer frost, enough said

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: maybe All Katz Go to Heaven? I didn’t write a lot of fucked up stuff this year, but the idea that every person hannibal lecter has ever murdered ends up in Brooklyn Nine Nine is kind of a fucked up premise for a fic haha

OH WAIT maybe it’s grieving schrodinger’s dad? it puts zatanna zatara into a time loop of the day that her dad becomes doctor fate. 

Most challenging to write:

It was really hard to crank out the second chapter of dead girl walking, especially since i was trying to finish it during my ireland trip. it was a lot of heavy content, a lot of characterization issues, and some action scenes, which aren’t necessarily my strong suit. 

Biggest disappointment: Pushing Irises. it turned out well, but I also had zero motivation to continue it so it’s just a single chapter that ends on a cliff hanger. It might always be a single chapter that ends on a cliff hanger.  Favorite character to write:

this year i really enjoyed writing eleanor shellstrop and cisco ramon. i didn’t write either of them a lot, but whenever i did write them it was a blast. 

Favorite opening lines:

Zatanna crosses her arms over her chest as she leans against Bruce’s black SUV. The “parking lot” at this camp is a glorified field of grass. It rained last night, and there are muddy ruts left all throughout the field and little muddy puddles scattered everywhere. It’s disgusting and rundown and everywhere that Zatanna doesn’t want to spend three weeks of her summer. Endless Summer

Her first memories are of Ego, him cradling her in his arms, tickling her, telling her that he loves her. Her first memories are of him calling her daughter and her calling him dad. Mantis Prays to Oregon

The 99th precinct had a strict, no dating rule. At least, it acquired one the moment Holt showed up. She's pretty sure the old guy wouldn't have cared if they had an orgy in the break room. An Emoji is Worth a Thousand Words

Murder and money are messy businesses. Verger Virtues

The first thing that Rosa thinks when they get to the orchestra hall is that this dressing room will never be clean again. The decor is all bright white except for the places where it’s been stained red by blood. There are a lot of places where it’s been stained red by blood. All Katz Go to Heaven

Favorite closing lines:

Bart's going into uncharted territory. Trying to have friends and a family and be a hero in an era where he's not a slave or even a child soldier. He doesn't know how to go about it, but that's alright. He thinks he can work it out later. How To Fall in Love with Your Mark

“I love my dead gay wife,” Kelly says, hugging tightly, “and I love my dead trans son.” And they laugh, not because it’s funny, really, but because it’s ridiculous and happy. They laugh because somehow life just got so much better. We’re All Dead Here

They may be in the bad place, but they have a freedom now that they’ve never had before. here they are, a tortured academic, a hot rich fraud with legs for days and a selfish ass helping a demon to keep his job, with the help of an idiot DJ and his AI wife. Three hell-bound people just trying to make it in this crazy world, becoming better people and loving each other only after it’s too late.   Eternal Recurrence

"Stop taking your hand?" He asks, and Rey can't tell if he's joking.

"No," Rey says, "don't ever stop."

A Pair of Somebodies

Other favorite lines:

"Romance isn't just for the straights," she says. Pair the Spares

"He's not just a bucket head," Ahsoka says, cracking a grin, "he's the king bucket head." An officer of a notable rank comes up behind them, and stands respectfully to the side.

"No, he's Lord of the bucket heads," Aphra corrects, "you gotta get the title right."

"Lord Buckethead," the officer says with an enormous grin, "your presence is requested on the control deck." Anakin turns towards him, and holds his hand out immediately. The man makes a strangled noise, and he's pulled by the Force.

"Master," Ahsoka says, her voice wobbly. Anakin clenches his fist, and the officer falls to the floor, dead.

"Any more remarks?" Anakin asks. The other officers and troopers on the floor all divert their attention. They got the message: only Ahsoka and Aphra are allowed to tease Darth Vader. Ahsoka feels sick to her stomach. Between the banter and the sex, she had almost forgotten she wasn't supposed to feel at home here. Sympathy for the Devil

Jane Gloriana Villanueva is twenty eight years old. She is a lot of things: a published author, a mother of three, a beloved wife, a local gay icon. She is no longer a virgin. Unless, of course, your definition of virginity requires a penis going into a vagina, then Jane is still a virgin. These are all technicalities and have no bearing on our current story. Jane the Metahuman

Joe, however, had already heard the murmur, and knew that something very wrong was going on. He threw the door open and stormed into the room. Nora Allen, who was dead the last time he looked at her, was sitting up on the morgue table with the bloodstains still prominent on her shirt. the man in yellow in the living room with the knife

“It’s Brandy or the sea, child,” Ego says.

“Brandy,” Zatanna says, exhaling breath,  “I choose Brandy.” That was always going to be her answer. How could it not be, when the choice isn’t even just Brandy? It’s the port. It’s the sailors that it serves. It’s the whisky and the wine, and the whole damn bar,  and- ugh

This is a bullshit metaphor anyway.

The choice Ego offers isn’t between Brandy and the sea. It’s between the sea and the world. It’s not leaving Brandy for adventure, it’s destroying the entire harbor town for Ego’s bullshit god complex. Brandy Beats the Sea

A pile of blue beetles has emerged in the place of Jaime's body, like the Oogie Boogie man without his burlap skin.

Bart screams, and the Jaime figure laughs a laugh that isn't Jaime's as it shifts into something else entirely. The big, muscular Blue Beetle stands before him, maniacal grin plastered on his face.

"You're not Jaime," Bart says. The Beetle laughs, demonic voice over Jaime's.

"Am I?" He says, "you don't know. You won't know until it's too late." A sinking feeling settles in Bart's stomach, like a hush puppy that settled in with a gallon of Mountain Dew and a whole basket of fries.

"You aren't," he says. He wants the words to be true, but he doesn't know . He might be letting his guard down for a traitor to humankind. He might be falling in love with a monster. How to Fall in Love with Your Mark

"I told him I would. I promised that I wouldn't do this." Maybe she does have a problem. Maybe she should see Black Canary, or- or something. She has a chance at normalcy. She doesn't understand why she doesn't want it anymore.

She has a chance for true love and The American Dream, for the kind of life she'd dreamed of as a kid. She has a chance to settle down and be a normal fucking human with a normal marriage to a normal guy who wants a normal sort of happy ending. She doesn't know why she can't be satisfied with that.

Zatanna’s voice is soft and gently as she tells her, "Artemis, if you're supposed to be with him, then you should be able to be yourself with him."

"Are you trying to break up my relationship?" It's a cruel jibe, a reminder of Zatanna's (mainly) unrequited crush and her subsequent rejection. Zatanna barely looks phased.

"Are you?" The words knock the wind out of her. She hadn’t considered that, but now that Zatanna’s put the thought in her head, Artemis can’t stop considering it. At this point, Artemis doesn't know. climbed a mountain and turned around

Will Graham, the bride of Frankenstein and his monster rolled all into one. The Stuffed Dog

It’s destiny. Destiny is an otherworldly Eldritch beast, devouring everything in its path. It eats up all other options, and leaves only one path. It wraps its hideous, shadowy tendrils around her and drags her back into the dark. This is destiny like Ragnarök, fated to happen and rip the world apart.

  mountains out of molehills

“I wanted to find her and run away,” Finn says, “I just didn’t want to be a stormtrooper anymore, Rose. I wanted to run as far away from the First Order as I could, but then I met Rey. So I came back for her. I never signed up for the Resistance. I just want Rey and I to be safe.” Rose feels a twist in her gut. This might be worse than finding out he wanted to desert. This is knowing the reasons behind it, having to see him as human in his mistakes and understand why he made them.

Oh how heroes fall and then stumble back up again.

The Spark that Will Light the Fire

Most telling fic:  international harvester certainly tells you something about my background. also the fact that i, too, want to make out with a girl in a combine

#sunkelles writes #writing meme #end of the year writing meme

[queenxquill]

Well it appears the first time I've ever done anything to incite attention and comments from others has now occured in an unexpected and mildly negative way. I'm embarrassed that it's about something as personal and intimate as me navigating my way through my turbulent sexuality with language, community, feelings of isolation. Valid critiques have been made, inciting an interesting theological dialogue. It's just a really new feeling to me, I've been on this site for so long just carelessly throwing whatever the fuck out in the ether feeling... relatively anonymous and unobserved. And then one day it's like you're writing in your diary and the diary starts telling you that the words you use to describe your sexuality need to be reconsidered and.. I mean obviously that's kind of a stupid way to put it because a private book next to my bed and spouting words off on to the World Wide Web are obviously different activities I've just posted so much personal shit on here forever unobserved or uncommented on that it built an illusion bubble of security. I don't even know exactly what I'm trying to achieve writing this here and now- it's a blog, I'm blogging, I'm taking my current real life experiences and emotions and processing them digitally to analyze and share, I'm being vulnerable, I'm being human. So. My truth? I am pensive, nervous, confused, trying to find what feels the most authentic and beneficial to myself while being mindful of others, trying both to belong and to be utterly uniquely myself which I suppose anyone may find to be an isolating experience. I often don't like to present the idea to men that they have a chance- they more often than not Don't, so I try with language to remove that from the proverbial table so I don't get that gross smirk from them that I despise when I say 'bisexual', the one that says "I am about to get a free show to a lady makeout session tailor-made for my pleasure". Why I held my middle finger up behind my companion's head when men felt it necessary to hoot at us when I kissed her and angrily spat "this isn't ABOUT you" over her shoulder at them knowing full well they'd leave two guys or a girl and guy alone but me and a girl are an open invitation- incomplete in our pairing. Why I want women to see me as being here for and about them, how I prioritize and value them, yeah I was a little crude in the last post, but I genuinely care for the companionship of women, and I fear that being belittled to "oh I'll Do you too" flippant promiscuity, "let's be objects together we can totally mutually exploit and it'll be like so hot boys will love how adventurous we are" vomit in my mouth that were my late teens conventional bisexual girl experiences before they were shaped into more mature, complex, emotional bonding of two women with sexual agency of their own accord. The number of bisexual women I've been involved with while their male partner who I was not at all attracted to but still situationally present most often as a voyeur (as per their relationship agreement) is a humiliating amount. I've started deadpan saying "my homosexual tendencies do not exist to be exploited for your voyeuristic pleasure" when these situations arrived most recently and it felt a million times better than reluctantly trying to ignore the fetishist in the room cheapening what is otherwise a magnificent shared experience. There is a lot of shit I wasted years of my life being afraid to say no, and that included- as my obvious preference for women grew- how I felt afraid to "close myself off to options" "be too exclusive" etc and still felt I HAD to keep men accessible, and I actively distanced myself from those proverbial "scary butch man-hating lesbians" YES I was one of THOSE bisexual girls and I intensely regret throwing those women under the bus to make myself more seemingly acceptable. I'm one of those women who gets thrown under the bus by those femme bisexuals now because I am a hairy, buzz-cutted, makeup-free, heavyset, braless, radical feminist who doesn't cater to femininity or male approval. I aim to make women feel safe, valued, and accepted, and to have men second-guess their entitlement to my personal space (while actively relishing presenting myself in a way designed to deflect their attentions). I aim to be a woman other women perceive to be confidently unapologetic in my woman - loving and rejection of femininity. I was enjoying closing the door off to men, feeling effortless and calm in my rejections of them in favour of women, wondering if this Could be me and wondering how long I'd have to distance myself from my last painfully dull and tragic heterosexual occurrence, to really earn the label when months later I got involved with a gender critical post-op trans man (no bottom surgery but everything else affected), and though that intimacy was very obviously gay, I felt insecure at being regarded as 'straight' with him in public and beat myself up at even feeling insecure about that ("I cannot let it be insinuated I am accessible to men" my fragile ego chanted). Then as if that weren't enough, I met a gnc cis man who challenged that in me even further as I started to feel an imposter syndrome like who did I even think I was, what if heavens forbid I actually started myself a reputation as a staunch lesbian only to back peddle on this cute boy in makeup and feminine clothes- I'd be another Erika Moen, another Chasing Amy, perpetuating the notion of corrective rape and that would be humiliating and unacceptable. And that's right around the time I commented a synopsis of this tangled web of sexual identity on an article of related content relevant to my life right then and there. So.. so I don't enjoy the stereotypes and connotations of bisexual women, so that doesn't mean I have to distance myself from them if it's a disservice to the lesbian community, I can just challenge the stereotypes of bisexual women by being my own damn self. I still can't shake this idea that someday if I'm really good and pure and live up to my political, ethical, ideological high standards I'll be a Real Proper Lesbian but maybe that's just internalized biphobia. I don't know. I don't have all the answers, I never will, I just have my experiences, ideas, emotions, and thereom that ebb flow, coincide and juxtapose, fluctuate circumstantially. *Extremely personal vulnerable sexual identity soul searching rambles over*~

#personal

[mightbedamian]

#TMIishTuesday #46 - The Trumpet - But why?

Hey there mighty people of the internet! And welcome to issue #46 of #TMIishTuesday - my weekly Tumblr post about what goes through my weird mind and what you guys want to know more about. It can be something very personal, it can be something political, it can be completely pointless - but in 99.9 % of the cases, it involves opinions. And mine as well. // Last week I talked about make-up. On girls, but more about it on guys: Society's general perception of it, some male YouTubers who look ACE with make-up, and my opinion on whether or not men should or should not wear make-up. Not telling you to read it, but… YOU SHOULD! // Disclaimer: I can't treat certain people the same as everyone else. People who just disrespect of groups of people for one, and only one, reason: Belonging to this group. And by saying this, I do exactly that, I know... And I’m still gonna do it. You know, if they were at least a little bit open-minded or didn't treat people like they're sh*t, I'd respect that. I wouldn't cheer for them, but everyone has different opinions - and that's awesome! But I won't respect people who hate on others for having one attribute that the haters don't like: Gender, sexuality, race, color of skin, this list goes on and on. Okay, so if you're not living on the Moon (and even then), you'll most definitely have noticed that the U. S. have a new president. For the reasons stated above, I will not call him by his name, but rather refer to this person as "the Trumpet". Not much of a difference anyway, right? And now you know who I'm talking about, we can start this post. Did I mention that it's about reasons why this person could even become president? Oh, I didn't? Well… Now you know! There are obviously lots of reasons why the Americans eligible to vote voted like they did. I pick three that seem most important to me.  1. The devil vs. the deep blue sea With the elections coming up one thing that I read a lot in polls and assessments of the candidates is: "I can't possibly choose between two inacceptable candidates." As expected, Democrats and Republicans had voted two extremely opposing candidates to go for president - Clinton: the impersonated establishment who still lives on her father's achievements as president and who is rather conservative for a Democrats candidate. And - the Trumpet: the impersonated American dream: business man, self-made millionaire, the exact opposite of the establishment, who bluntly told his opinions on basically everything, even when not asked about it. And I had the impression that people didn't feel that ANY of the two would be a good president. But given the American political situation, with only these two parties standing a real chance to win the election, most people did choose to distribute their votes between the devil and the deep blue sea - or simply didn't turn up to the polling stations. 2. Jobs vs. trade There is a common misconception that many Europeans might have fallen for: The Trumpet's only focus seemed to be on immigration politics. Constructing a wall at the U. S.-Mexican border and getting rid of TPP* and TTIP* trade agreements, before the latter was even signed. These seemed to be the Trumpet's only political goals. At least if you believed European media. Oh my, were we wrong! The Trumpet actually got lots of votes in the Mid West states promising people to get jobs. Of course that's part of the getting-rid-of-TPP-and-TTIP deal. But that's not what was the most important aspect of this issue. The U. S. still suffer from the global economic crisis that was sparked by the failure of the banking industry in the late 2000s. The most important promise of the Trumpet was jobs. Jobs, jobs, and more jobs. And, please correct me, if I'm wrong, dear Americans, but to me it looks like most Americans don't bother too much about what is going on in the world, if the U. S. is not involved. Am I wrong in assuming that? And to be honest, it's looked to me like that over the last few years/decades. Rather, you guys are more focussed on your own country. You know, I'm not a big fan of overly demonstrated patriotism. But it makes sense that you voted the Trumpet then: He promises to get you all into jobs again. Sure, that will work. But there'll also be massive inflation, if he basically closes down foreign trade and goes back to producing everything domestically. But people don't seem to see that. Or they ignore it. Well, if you don't see it, let me give you a quick tour, okay? The Trumpet wants to put import tariffs into place again against any country out there. Sure, most still have import tariffs - the EU certainly isn’t the norm - but over the last couple decades there has been worldwide understanding that we should thrive for lower tariffs and less trade restrictions. In 1947 32 nations signed the General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade (GATT) which wanted to "reduce tariffs and other trade barriers" among the signing countries. Over the years, with globalisation hitting in more and more, more nations joined the agreement and tariffs and trade restrictions got less and less. Based on the work that had been done under the GATT framework, the World Trade Organisation (WTO) was established by 123 nations in 1995. A huge part of this hard work is at stake now that one of the biggest economies of the world threatens to leave the WTO. As I'm typing this, the Trumpet has just announced that the U. S. will not ratify TPP. A small step for a Trumpet, but a huge one for humankind. Anyway, I'm drifting off. And the effects of the U. S. leaving the WTO and other international trade policies could fill another #TMIishTuesday. Let me know, if you are interested in that! * TPP - Trans-Pacific Partnership * TTIP - Transatlatic Trade & Investment Partnership 3. Ego vs. opinions This might even be the most important factor that got him the crucial votes in the swing states* which ultimately led to the Trumpet winning the entire election. All the way during his candidacy - in the internal Rep duels as well - he has been very straightforward about basically anything he represented. He made clear his goals basically on day 1 of the Rep internal campaign and, from what I can tell, he sticked to them. All this "The U. S. don't need any foreign trade" thing, all this "I don't give a f*ck about minorities" hatred, all this "I'm the king of the world" behaviour - it was there from the very beginning. And even if Clinton didn't change her campaign too much, too - just by not letting anyone exert ANY influence on his campaign, the Trumpet really presented the "I am me, I won't change for others" attitude. When most candidates try to take on some viewpoints of the other candidates of their party to rule out competitors, he didn't do that. Cause he didn't need to. The whole "I won't change for others" thing was already bearing fruit. Many Americans are apparently still looking for a father figure to look up to. And that's EXACTLY what they got. ...Although you might argue that someone, who is as bold as the Trumpet, is not exactly a father figure… Granted, but he's definitely "the strong man" the people were looking for. And I guess the Americans just thought Obama didn't take measures drastic enough to cope with the (perceived as well as existing) problems the U. S. were faced with. * swing state = "a state that could reasonably be won be either the Democratic or Republican presidential candidate" Finally: Judging from the younger history, it just made sense that a Republican was elected president: The last three presidents all took two terms in office - and after each 8 year period a president of the other "big" party - Democrats and Republicans - was elected into office. Right, I'll leave you with that. This post turned out way more subjective than I planned to. But I never promised that. And remember how I started this post? "Disclaimer: I can't treat certain people the same as everyone else." I guess, that's exactly what's happened now. Sorry not sorry! :P Before I go, please let me know what you thought of this post and what your thoughts on the new president are. Do you hate him, do you respect him, do you like him? Place a comment, tweet me, dm me, or do anything else you can think of to get to me. Oh and today's TMIish Queer Shoutout goes to: Anyway Köln TV, the queer YouTube channel of youth centre Anyway in Cologne. I stumbled across the their YouTube channel last week and really liked the videos in which the team took to the streets to interview the people of Cologne on queer topics: Can they tell who identifies as straight, lesbian, or bi just by appearance? Does it work better when the choices are straight, gay, and pansexual? What do you imagine gay sex to look like? And the one that I liked best: How do people react when they are asked to film two guys for a minute and suddenly one proposes to the other right in front of the Cologne Dom cathedrale? Their videos are well thought of and, most of the times, involve strangers they meet on the street. If understand German, check them out and drop a sub! As always: Next #TMIishTuesday next Tuesday. If you have any questions in the meantime, just ask away. Whatever you’re curious about - I don’t bite. :) Until then: Stay mighty! Linkage: - Wikipedia on TPP: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trans-Pacific_Partnership - Wikipedia on TTIP: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transatlantic_Trade_and_Investment_Partnership - Wikipedia on swing states: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swing_state - Anyway Köln TV channel on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/AnywayKoelnTV - Anyway Köln website: http://www.anyway-koeln.de/ Oh, and here’s some self-promo: - Last #TMIishTuesday: http://mightbedamian.tumblr.com/post/156001271441/tmiishtuesday-45-guys-cant-wear-make-up - More #TMIishTuesdays: mightbedamian.tumblr.com/tagged/tmi - Poll to decide next week's topic and more very cool stuff: www.twitter.com/mightbedamian - Even more very cool stuff: mightbedamian.tumblr.com

#tmi #mightbeserious