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paraclete0407 · 3 years

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Going to give away all my story-ideas a la George Johnston’s ‘The Fire Sale’ since I feel as if Lucifer has been unleashed against me for the destruction of my flesh that I might learn not to blaspheme -

‘The Winners 2012′

With the prototype of my ‘Three Kings’ ultimate self-idea-hero, the Vice Principal or Ass’t Headmaster forced to play basketball, also something about a novel about violoncello and female self-satisfaction, inner life or pseudo-inner-life and my attack on Harvard people for their emetic unending self-celebration, which turned out to be a sort of Kim Jong Il three-day massacre-banquet + they really have a huge problem with alcohol, rape, at the same time they were right IMHO to be eating blueberries and protein-goop and so on sleeping 2hrs a night. Princeton students doing math in lucid dreams. I too would have but in retrospect I literally methinks I deduce that my bio-parents and Waqas my Paki roommate were trying to give me heart-failure in the cause of sociohistorical justice and/or ‘family tree’ hyper-narcissism. I was watching ‘Reply 1997′ and that song ‘Confession’ but I thought ‘I am gonna one day hang out with my friend again and drive through the NJ woods and it’ll all be alright b/c they are gonna have theirs and I am gonna have mine and in the end they will still be able to follow my lead and feel I was worthwhile.’ ‘Headmaster’s Wife’ something something Robert James Waller bidding for continued relevance after ‘Madison County’ but even in 2012 I just honestly wasn’t that fascinated with women or their hobbies at all. I like the Korean poem that says to look at your spouse’s brow, check homework, share food. Everyone wants a room of their own in which to produce bad art, get worse as a person, do that which others could do better. USFK bases are like huge campuses with super-nice beds and the soldiers all appear to need like 5,000 KCAL per diem or they’ll pass out. I had been in the habit of sleeping bolt-straight till I got here and liquified my form. ‘Winners’ got totally out of hand where the Ass’t Headmaster started cruising around looking for anyone and everyone to talk to and never got what he was up to - never ever ever realized that he could minimize his life and walk away, that he was manager-material at Cryan’s Irish Pub or sth, that the principal really might retire one day or just let him step up, if he didn’t keep trying to ‘discharge responsiblities’ or lay the ground for some super-daughter-figure to fulfill the mission that he had been waiting to incipit; and too, he was sort of a priest to begin with and avoided his vocation for years and decades for reasons unknown. My ex-friend from Harvard bragged about staying up for 36hrs doing something and there was President Obama saying ‘Heyyy Harvard Columbia but I also like flip-flops, chips, Occidental, jackass, fag.’ Obama had such an uneven series of statements. I used to blow up on the radio like 1000000% affirmative action; Thomas Sowell is 10000% right that the Ivies were disillusioning and damaging generation of Blacks who couldn’t read fast enough - therefore, better to go back to K-12 / HS and try to give younger people a general preparedness so that they wouldn’t leave it to mercenary oft CCP-seduced (Vogel) and it turns out oft pedophilic prof’s (Alexander Theroux is in the habit of calling Dershowitz ‘dirt’ though I actually agree with him about a lot and hope that he is still in favor of rule of law at this bizarre hour) to form or confer their identity and bequeath their sense of mission in life...

‘Thanksgiving Day’

Possibly my ‘most characteristic novel’ that predicted me never being understood or read with my own grain at all though it contained terrorist threats basically. Of all Korean pop-music with its numerous melismas in a way he most ‘abject’ was Sunny’s song from ‘Story of Wine,’ ‘Finally Now’ which made me realize actually I was gonna get cut up at all the dinner-parties, all my understandings would be met with anti-understandings, everything I simplified would be complicated, whether I throw rock paper or scissor all my ex-friends from Gov School are throwing CCP massive retaliation deepfake AI bury-the-scholar-alive fireballs. So they drove to the South Mountain Res where the homosexual pederasts are acting pedagogical and ‘adoptive’ and they are sitting there like, ‘Well soon it will be deer-hunting season + Chris Christie was saying how teachers like to make kids’ faces light up + give them indelible memories but under all his generosity of acknowledgment / crediting all the while CC was also saying / dogwhistling / inciting if not demanding or ordering, “Eat the poor,”which Obama was also arguably saying.’

I still like Sunny or did like 18 months ago - Tizzard and friends are mad at Cho Kuk; I tried to defend the governing class though this actually clashed with my own belief in people that came from dirt being best qualified as long as they don’t turn utterly prideful; and I’m a monarchist megalomaniac b/c I thought of Kissinger saying, ‘The illegal we do immediately the unconstitutional takes a while’ which I did not eve n intend to mean ‘Milwaukee antinomianism misrule carnivalesque total inversion of values’ and IZ*ONE were ‘rigged’ (destined), ‘Sunkyu’ is a good safe name that I know of and at the end she is like, ‘He is a loser; I am going back to the party anyway; he belongs in a Cistercian monastery or somewhere; it is not wrong to have monks and nuns and celibate married couples and/or those who wat a long time after marriage to have a child...’

‘Everything’ (Everything 2015 / Everything 2021)

Words never said, ‘I’m everything’ - therefore how can you not play my games and _ _ _. This was such an abject apprehension(?) in my own life; I had an ideal solution to the problem and in those days I actually had no acute anxiety nor did I feel this distance(d) awe from anybody but only a low-level thrumming or basso continuou worry or ‘meditation’ (Purpose-Driven Life). I guess now if someone isn’t asking a clear question it might be beside the point to imagine it’s worthwhile to answer and if somebody proffers you a certainty in any part of speech it is best it is best just to respond or non-respond without ay semblance of personality; deflection; without wanting to add anything or change anyone’s mind b/c in the end they who open their wings prematurely will get shot down all the more; and will also become their own worst enemies at times due to the conceits of ‘my nobility; fallen flower; I was Elect; I was anointed [sth. from ‘Sentimental Education’ abt women’s hearts]’

When I was 15 I started thinking a lot about reality and who is real to whom; my favorite piano-piece though in retrospect I might’ve ust listened to it then moved on with better things was Frederic Chopin’s ‘Berceuse’ op. 57 a.k.a. ‘Lullaby’ though originally it was simply ‘Variations.’ Simple left hand, very testing right hand. Michelangeli made a version in which nothing was thrown away or left to chance and a lot of pianists add a deep D-flat to the last chord which I disagreeith b/c the whole point of not using that is taht in the end it’s not a big deal. Best is Kempff 1946 because it’s utterly affectionate, fatherly, almost forgetful. I had once regarded this version or ‘rendering’ as being Kempff’s message to post-Nazi Germany saying, ‘Dream a new dream for a while.’ His left hand is spelling and his right hand is tracing. I used to make up words for this piece ‘I’m real God can’t you see / to break your shield’ but that was with a different count or tempo than the actual notation. Also, the version I heard first was Idil Biret or someone and they made the left hand cycle or reciprocate with a false completeness like an underlying clock when the essence of the ‘Berceuse’ is that the inner voices form a tolling or droning. I years later turned to the even more violent psychopathic Chopin that gave me hand-tremors and I think it is very bad for humans of which the apex was the last page or so of Nocturne 55-2 which is basically heart-explosion into embers. After going to KR I never wanted to touch a piano again except for anything related to Kempff and would walk around Lake Park, Wahl Street, considering Russia, simplicity, ‘c/Chimes.’ Didn’t then realize George Frost Kennan grew up around there and was considering Russia his whole life. I saw ‘Cat Street’ and was put in mind of a Singaporean market or square where they let songbirds talk to each other but it’s ancient history now. Maybe in future no one will care about cats, birds - I don’t really except I grew up in white trash degenerate Mass. where they burned frogs for fun (I was like 3) and put skull-flag all over their rooms. I oppose Mao sparrow-genocide, am fond of dandelions and the Ku Sang poem about dandelions from ‘Infant Splendor.’ However my generation and the people of that time were arguably over-equipped and in one way over-covered in another under-covered.

Voice in my head saying ‘They want Maoism man.’ But I really did believe in those days that others’ futures were like my own past and I perhaps overestiated my own chance of any future understanding, ‘trust-ness,’ and, either stable interiority or cognizable reliable plain-as-day face-to-face exteriority.

I also read Somerset Maugham’s critiques of ‘the Russian sense of humor’ which I approved of and my mom recently dreamed of the cat running out with his tail burnt.

There are perhaps only so many possible variations or stories and ‘today’s character’ is a real human being in the present moment and placement not just your favorite actress or whatever or whomever that would follow you to the ends of the Earth. I have almost no idea right now whether others want what I want or not; I had fantasized about writing speeches and always taking my family with me on the campaign-airplane which in retrospect is not perforce responsible and might’ve been mental Bidenism. I had only felt that it would or could be good for people in the future / future Man to be aware of one another’s burdens like let your son or daughter know when you’re working really hard instead of playing / representing Santa Dad when you’re really storing up UncleHammer and CrushFather vengeance, whether motivated by presumption and reactionary atavism or by the Will of God in the case of Mr. David James Johnston must be pulverized in to ‘coulisse bright dark tragic chiaroscuro’...In ‘Coming Home Again’ Changrae Lee’s mom was telling him how hard his psychiatric dad worked in graduate school and that is something I believe kids should know but there again what if immgrant young people really do grow up or ‘come up’ with this ‘Minima Moralia’ (Adorno cf. Vatican Censoriate) sense that ‘wrong life cannot be rightly lived,’ a horrific desolate phrase, that existence is a ‘battle life’ and that evth we do right today is a down-payment on wrong tomorrow.

In the ‘diaspora(?)’ of Evangelical Christianity following the passing away of a very famous and beautifully simply and consistent apologist Ravi Zacharias there was a cataclysmic revelation concerning his treatment of masseuses, first in terms of sexual harrassment and later unless it is all ‘fake news’ the discovery of a trove of actual records of abuse. I‘m Reddit ButBothSides relativism but it really almost feels as if there had been the mentality of a ‘treasury of merit’ but I don’t even want to say anything like that. Strange keepsakes! I feel as though ‘everybody deserves to know’ I am pretty certain I could be indicted for sexual harrassment in the Republic of Korea from a specific instant I recall very vividly + it might be good to do so in view of the current society’s determination to stop driving women toward suicide but IDK whether I ough to say that to anyone in Milwaukee b/c around here they’re racists and polyamorists and it’s more CCP paleo-peudo-Confucian mistress-culture where my dad is checking out my girlfriends and orgy and procurement are considered acts of unconditional love(?). Many years ago I looked at the Joongang Daily and say a ‘diptych’ of ‘T-ARA to release new song in November’ and ‘Uhm Taewoong arraigned for solicitation in [’my last stop’]’ + I adored TIAMO but it made me sad that the yougest member of this group was posing ith little girls all carring playing cards b/c it was lke a Chaim Potok novel that said mutatis mutandis ‘child-rearing is all gambling’ which goes against my sense of what is possible and even practical with a proper chain of care and ‘absolute ownership.’ And there I had been eager to join in the American Families Plan but then it really is still public schools where (Chesterton), ‘ The whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and Progressives. The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of Conservatives is to prevent mistakes from being corrected.’ Professionalism, fair compensation, training, re-training, good data, involving parents. I am just sad b/c I realized I don’t really get how good or bad the SoE’s are anymore but the costs of Chromebooks and such are immense and I’m almost 100% certain the kids still have noisy homes, no good desks, + many of the staff are single moms nursing etc. + teacher-tenure and ‘middle class wages’ IMHO have been drawing mercenary self-righteous ideologue-automoton mental Boomers for decades and they still don’t get it but I’m super-sad b/c I just have no way I know of finding out!

I like talking to psychiatrists b/c they get stuff about autism as well as in some cases literal demons and matters such as handwriting, Arabic script going ‘backwards,’ but in the end they too appear committed to doing whatever the current overlord(s) of the world order are going to do. At the mental hospital they’re writing stuff like ‘schiz- ____’ nd saying ‘sign I’ll date’ and when I say ‘that’s an official document’ the union pozzers around here are like ‘it’s my document’ like Hell it is. You’re on strike against truth and morality and that’s no joke! You better give me heart-failure tonight or I will eventually bring a suit against your ‘whole host’ but that itself is beside the point because of Delta and drones and the fact that this is a revelating(?) era and a literal Judgment of God, which I had been hoping to weather and eventually execute my long-incubating intention but I truly am concerned what could present roll over and through this city.

This spectre or menace of a saturating, superceding, overriding ‘raison d’etat’ in the earthly world order soon to come and everything going to be unsealed anyway so that your private life is really just ‘a paper heart merit-badge that says “private life” on it’ and in future even a confirmation of something or someone is not really a confirmation. Puts in mind of the MLG song ‘Kiss Me’ about ego and commitment and the valences and intersections(?) of different potential promises or forecasts. My old friend Miles used to write about kissing a lot and I had reflections about kissing and such matters but IDK now if he’s a cultural Maoist advocating to defund the LAPD or he just ‘keeps his virtue to himself’ and feeds trash the ‘Arab Street’ about not protecting weak people from criminals.

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the-little-crime-writer · 4 years

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Discussion time;

so.. when I was around 8 I believe my moms ex boyfriend was really weird with me and I had a gut feeling that something was wrong and I did try to run away but it didn't work and eventially it lwd to the point of me being hit so badly on my bum that I couldn't sit down on anything other than a pillow. This person also used to make me eat a soup that would make me gag and my mother knew about it, if I refused to eat something it would be poured over my head including my own vomit which at one point I was forced to eat. I couldn't really explain it very well to my school nurse at the time why I was in so much pain because he told me to not tell anyone so I tried not to but the pain when I tried sitting down at school was unbearable.

The only way I could explain it to my school nurse was that my bum looked like a dalmatians spots. And before I knew it I had social services around me and police it was crazy, I had to go to hospital to have photos taken and the machine was so loud that it scared me so I put my hands over my ears. I was terrified. I couldn't sleep unless I had the light on and I used to repeatedly wet the bed. I had to have a recorded chat with a police officer in a room for court not that I'd be allowed to attend which I wish I could have.

So, I had lost trust in men completely because I was petrified of it happening again so I only used to date women until I met my current boyfriend who showed me different.

Me and my mom don't get on very well as she is friends with one of my abusers and she used to chase me up the stairs and hit me repeatedly if I annoyed her. She used to lock the kitchen up so I couldn't eat and would lock me in the house so I couldn't get out. She also would lock up the living room so I couldn't watch tv. The only rooms I had access to were mine, the bathroom and her room. In the end as gross as this is I used to eat frozen food, and now I eat so fast that I have actually chipped my teeth because I never know when my next meal is. I always eat really fast even though I know I can afford to get myself something to eat even though I don't know how to cook much stuff.

So when I was 15 my moms friend asked to see me naked when I was upset about a horse who was dying of colic and I didn't know if she would survive or not. I immediately said no but I was pressured to getting my breasts out and I remember crying and he later apologised when bringing me cake. No one at school believed me, my mom didn't believe me and because she wouldn't leave the room when the police officer was there I told them I had lied. Which made me angrier to do. So I hatched a plan to catch him out which I did when I was 19 and the situation was far worse and when it all came out no one gave a shit.

When I was 17 I was depressed but I never knew I was, I would of had moments where I'd sit and cry and then I'd be okay. My teacher who was 28 at the time committed suicide and I blamed myself for it. Me and my classmates were not very nice people and I wasn't a very nice person when I was 17. We used to mess around all the time when she was trying to teach us and right before we knew she had died I remember saying to her I hate you, see you after half-term. I never hated her but she would annoy me but I never in all my life expect someone to be dead the next time we hear about them. I blamed myself to the point of self-destruction. I went to her funeral to say goodbye and then my life spiralled out of control.

I felt very suicidal and I messaged a friend about it and she told me "I don't care if you fucking kill yourself" so here I was offing myself to a whole pack of paracetamol at 17. I thought fuck my life, I've had so much shit and I've had enough. So i took the whole box of 500mg paracetamol and then went toilet as I had a urge to go to the toilet. Then I left the house and got on a bus but had no idea where I was going but needed toilet again which I thought was strange not realizing it was the overdose. I was walking around and I messaged my mom saying that I was ovbiously a disgrace and that's why she didn't love me and that's why she allowed all the abuse to happen to me including abusing me herself. I refused to tell her where I was because I wanted to die. Someone else that I was talking to was trying to tell me how good of a person I was but I didn't listen. And then I was calling and texing people telling them I'm sorry for being a horrible person or of I ever said anything horrible to them. I was a mess, a real mess.

I remember sitting down and then not gettint back up, I lost the feeling to my legs and this then set in.. fuck, I'm actually going to die. But I still didn't really care, I had a police officer texting me whilst my phone was dying and I was arguing with her, she had found my diary of how I'd spoken about my abuse and all the other crap and I told her. You're properly a man, you don't give a shit about me and you'll probably use me like they all do. Referring to my abuse as a child and when I was 15. I kept telling her to leave me alone and eventually I turned my phone off. I just wanted to die and I wanted it to hurry up. In the end I was losing my vision,

I couldn't see straight and I sat crying, I had some drunk call me a retard and a woman gave me some tissue because I was crying. But then I started to panic, I was losing control of my body and things got worse and worse. I ended up calling a friend and telling her what happened and she wanted me to go to her and I told her I couldn't. My friend and her mom rushed to me, I kept crying because I wanted to die but I also wanted my pain to stop and I couldn't make it stop. My friends mom sat behind me screaming to keep me awake whilst my friend called my mom and told her she found me and that I was in a really bad way.

No ambulance came for me, I had 3 police cars and they dragged me to the car and the second they pulled off I puked everywhere on my friends mom. Then I somewhat looked up at the police officer I was arguing with was indeed a woman and she was quite distraught from what she had read and wanted to help me. I ended up being on drips and then being sectioned in a mental institution.

I was out cold for 2hrs and woke up barely remembering my own name, I lost a lot of memory and I woke up being someone else. It was an experience that I thought I'd never do again but I was wrong. I got an Addiction to overdosing and have overdosed 7 times, I have BPD which stands for Borderline Personality Disorder and makes it worse when I'm depressed as the suicidal thoughts are a lot worse.

The last suicidal attempt was back in June last year and it was when I scared the absolute shit out of my boyfriend who blames himself. I was feeling quite depressed but I never spoke to anyone about it because I'm a type of person who holds everything in and that's what I used to do all the time. I had an allergic reaction and I was scratching my stomach and then my throat was closing up so I had to have oxygen.. I puked everywhere when the ambulance pulled off and I panicked because I couldn't breathe. When I eventually got seen by a doctor I had liver failure and had to have drips again. My liver levels were 3x over the limit. They were at 250.

Thankfully I haven't felt suicidal in a long time and I'm somewhat mentally doing okay, I try and talk to people if I feel depressed or suicidal and I always try to help other people who have been in the same situation as me. I hope to never do anything like that again because one day it could kill me. And to my current boyfriend, I'm sorry, I love you and thank you for being patient with me. You have shown me so much kindness througuout my trauma and I don't know what I'd do without you.

I hope this story has helped someone in some way.

#my story #depression #suicide #tw suicide #true crime community #true crime blog #survivor of abuse #survivor of attempted suicide #this is my story #neglect #abuse #childhoodabuse

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mysticsandwich · 4 years

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what was it, around may of 2014, I sold my truck and all of my camera equipment, probably for way less than what it was worth. I bought a bunch of random hiking and backpacking/camping gear and a bus ticket from orlando all the way across the country to spokane washington. I had decided to volunteer on a vineyard/family farm thru wwoof, worldwild organic orginzation of farmers. you basically work like 4-8hrs a day and in exchange you get some form of housing and food. I’d be staying in a tent and get 3 meals a day. I really didnt know what to expect except I was ready for some kind of adventure and was miserable where I was. I had no idea what I was doing and about $3k in my bank account. I was an emotional mess, duh. I rode the bus for 94 hours, it was insane. I barley slept, the bus stopped about every 1-2 hrs for bathroom breaks and stretch/snack stops. I remember leaving atlanta around 12am, the random girl next to me kept falling asleep on my shoulder and waking me up. I didn’t get off of the bus until Chicago. I had an 8hr layover to the next bus. I bought a pack of menthol american spirits and walked around downtown chicago for like 6-7 hours. it was great, besides the exhaustion. it was the first time I had really walked around the heart of a real big city in my adult life. I got on the next bus and endured another 45hrs or so of bus riding to spokane washington. god I was beat. I got picked up by leah, the woman who kind of ran the whole wwoofing operation her husband and her ran. She picked me up from the greyhound station in spokane around noon, her firstborn son, henry was in the back of her truck asleep, I think he was two years old or so. She is very chatty and friendly. she hugged me upon meeting me and was very welcoming. after almost 4 straight days on buses with strangers it was very nice. she chatted as we drove out of spokane northwest to the small town of hunters,wa. after an hr and a half we arrived at a small gas station, the first store in about 30 miles. her dad owned the store/small mechanics garage all the locals got their trucks and equipment fixed at. I met her mom who ran the shop part of the store and dad who ran the store and mechanics garage. then we headed to the farm. we arrived and i met john, leahs husband. john and leah were 30 and 29 at the time, respectively. they had a house on an absolutely gorgeous 45 acre piece of land overlooking the Columbia river, a huge river that flows from canada all the way to Oregon. the property was amazing, small mountains or hills overlooking a sharp 200-300 foot drop to the wide river. they showed me my tent spot, right on a cliff below their house overlooking their house. it was amazing and gorgeous. i set up my tent and unpacked my backpack. i had to be back at the house around 7pm for dinner. i arrived and john was cooking while leah cleaned up. henry was just running around the garden that was their backyard. their entire house they built themselves. it looked like a house, kind of slumped and lopsided but normal enough. but they built it from bales of hay, wrapped in chicken wire, with spackle on the wire to look like normal walls. hardly any wood, mostly built of hay. it was very cheap to build, john did all of the wiring and plumbing hisself and hay has absolutely amazing insulating capabilities, so it was never too hot in the summer and never too cold in the winter. amazing. the first night there dinner was salad hand picked from their garden, we all just chatted and got to know eachother. I slept in my tent like a baby, the first nights sleep in like 4 days not on a bus in a seat constantly being woken up, with the sound of the nature and river below. the next day was the first day of work and learning the farm. most of the work I did there wsa trimming grape vines with john. leah would go to the gas station/country store her parents own and work, so in the morning i’d scramble up the hill to the house and john would make breakfast for me him and henry then we’d head out the vineyard. most of the work we did while I was there was trim vines. you have to snip off the weakest vines and keep the strongest ones to get the most grapes. so everyday me john and henry would go out to the vineyard, it was 10 acres big, not very big but big for two guys and a baby. me and john would each get a row of vines, we’d go down a trim and leapfrog each other, trimming all the extra vines off. henry would sleep in a stroller or waddles around john, sometimes coming to me to hangout. me and john would usually work at the same pace once I go the process down, and we’d talk the whole day till about lunch or 1pm. then go back to the house, he’d make lunch and then we’d get a break for about 2hrs. I’d usually go down to the river or take a nap in my hammock. then we’d meet around 3pm and work on another farm project, maybe fixinga a drain or a fence, etc. then leah would come home and we’d all make dinner. these people were so kind and just took me in and included me in their lives and family and farm, gave me good advice, etc. they told me of their adventures from their earyl 20′s. they both went to new zealand and traveled and worked for about 2 years. leah was a white water raft guide and john worked on bikes. they did that and hiked thru new Zealand. they went bak to america and saved money, then hitchhiked down the entirety of south america for a year. then decided to return to leahs parents hometown and start eh vineyard. amazing people, very warm and kind and hardworking. i was so lost at this point in my life and they gave m a good goal of how I wanted to be or at least were very positive role models. so went about 2 months, working with john mostly, hanging with leahs family, meeting their friends, working hard, learning about growing wine grapes, learning alfalfa farming, hitchiking to town, reading a lot. then late june hit, and john and leah got 3 more WWOOFers. 3 girls from rhode island, culinary students on a summer road trip, wwoofing to see where organic food comes from. two were very pretty and all 3 were very nice. they set up thier tent and I became their tour guide, showing them how all the work was done, how the farm and house worked. they liked to drink and party, were all older than me. we had a good time, though my work ethic kind of went ot shit, distracted by a bunch of girls haha. it was nice to be the only guy around them. they were there for about 3 weeks and then were heading to another farm in northern california. they invited me to go with them. I loved the farm in spokane..but 3 college girls when you’re 19...duh. so they left and I said my sad goodbyes to john and leah and hit the road with 3 college girls. we stopped all over down the west coast of the country. we all went skinny dipping in a pool in portland, one tried to sleep with me and I was too stupid to realize it. huge regret. story for another time. we finally reached pescadaro, CA. an absolutely beautiful little coastal town. the farm was owned by an absolute lunatic who thought he could talk to aliens and grew a a LOT of illegal weed. all we did for about a week was smoke weed and hangout with crazy vagrants the farm owner brought in, the absolute opposite of john and leahs farm. I liked the 3 girls but I missed john and leah a lot then. I was supposed to go visit my bestfrind, Gabe, in texas at some point that summer and after a week at this sketchy “farm” I decided to leave. the girls, katie, becca and kristen were awesome and i was pretty much in love with katie, but it was time to go. so they drove me to san fransisco and I got on a greyhound bus around midnight around the end of july and headed for texas. before I left the farm in pescadaro the head “farmhand” there gave me about 2 ounced of weed as a parting gift. being 19 and dumb I took it. I put the damn thing in my backpack and got on the greyhound. I slept from san fran to LA and from La to around new mexico. more bus riding, yay. I got to el paso, tx.

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{2oz weed story]

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celtwitch · 4 years

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Nobody will read this anyway...but here goes nothin

Was writing this out to a friend...and it made me begin to cry, so maybe if I tell more (definitely not all) of the story the tears will heal?

Give you one day in the life of living with my step father (this is gonna hurt more than you know) (and for those that don’t know....I’ve felt unwanted my whole life, come to find out my biological father left me when I was less than a year old 👍😞)

Wake up, no good morning or nothin...not even acknowledged. Makes me drive into the shop in my own vehicle...run down pos that could die any moment (and did twice really badly) that i paid for myself...with money i made working for him (for less than minimum wage) because he doesn’t wanna “taxi me around” (even though we’re going to literally the same place). “Mike why did it take you 5 more mins to get here when we left the same time?” Shrug it off, whatever. Get to the jobsite, “Mike it’s been 10 mins, why isn’t the whole van unloaded already at 7:30am?! Gogogo!” (This was a new construction company, plumbing and heating...a lot of tools and material every day...he didn’t want to leave anything on the jobsite, even locked away). So now my body and stomach are hurting cuz i just woke up an hour and a half ago and I’m running around like a chicken with my head cut off...and there’s screaming to move faster etc. Lunchtime...nonexistent...literally 10mins tops to have lunch and then back to work. Literally a 10min break during an 8hr day doing construction (drilling holes, constant up and down ladders and lifts, heavy fixtures, cast iron tubs...etc)

So working, i do shit the way he wants it to avoid getting yelled at....”Mike why the fuck are you doing it like that?!” “Because....that’s how you told me to...?” And now that way is wrong and he wants it the way i was doing on my own anyway. Quittin time is 3pm, no matter how far away we are from the shop (10mins to 2hrs) we don’t get paid for travel back. “Mike why are you starting to pick up now, there’s still 10mins till 3!!!!” “Mike why aren’t you picking up, there’s only an hr left to the day?”

Fastforward, back at home. “What took you so long to get back, I’ve been here like an hour already. Fucking drug addict.”

Etc etc....vaguely put, that was every damn day for about 7 yrs (wording different and some things changed around...mostly the same).

Add in being choked on numerous occasions, brooms smashed onto my back

And literally every day getting told I’m worthless, I’ll never amount to anything, my mother raised a lowlife, nobody will EVER want to be with me.

Again add in the bullshit going on with my mother and her abusive boyfriends....guys that would come home and drink (one coke addict ex as well), beat her, yell constantly, and we all had to make sure to walk on eggshells because “deep down they’re a good person and they’re taking care of your mother Mikey”. Doors slammed constantly, bottles thrown against walls, constantly hearing my mother cry and then her backing up what they all did. And here i am, young...feeling worthless like my father said, and I cannot help my mother at all...I’m too weak, too scared...too much of a coward....and confused as hell, because on one hand my mother is obviously hurting, numbing it all away with cheap booze and drugs...but on the other, my sister and I are supposed to act like it’s all okay? That so long as we have a bed to sleep in, we should be grateful? Don’t worry about what im going through, just worry about yourself my mom would tell me.

And for the last 5yrs, I’ve woken up a lot scared...thinking I would have to go back to all that. And every day I battle with thinking I’m worthless, thinking I’m nothing to anyone...sometimes I win and can beat those thoughts, most days I lose that battle.

This is enough for tonight....a lot skipped over, A LOT left out....but idk I guess it’s good to get this shit out there? It probably seems like nothing to most people...hell some might even laugh.

#personal #this is partially why im fucked up #im gonna proceed to cry #give me a bullet though

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prorevenge · 5 years

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Bam, you're homeless!

This happened around 2002, roughly, and requires a big hunk of backstory. I warn you, this is long...really really stupid long. I posted the entire story years ago on a now dead social media site and it was 5 parts long, with pictures. I wont go into nearly as much detail here, but I'll still include enough that you get how horrible the situation was for me and why I did what I did.

Prologue/Backstory:

I was seeing this woman that was about 10 years older than me for about a year. My brother introduced us, as his wife was High School friends with the woman. She had a son from a previous marriage that was about 9 years old when we started dating. We hit it off pretty well, and started dating. She lived with her parents when we met, and since I had a 2BR apartment I invited her and her son to move in with me about 3 months into our relationship. She didn't have a job, but that was OK with me. I had a job where I could move up if I wanted to fairly easily, so we wouldn't need her to have an income. It would be tight, but doable without too much effort. She was mostly nice, even though she had her moments (like all women) where she could be pretty petty. I didn't mind those moments since they were fairly rare, but a few led up to and then fed what happened... so I'll briefly run through them here in a prologue of sorts.

Shortly after we first got together, she brought me over to her parents house (we'd previously met, since she lived there at the start) in order to introduce me to her only sister who was visiting. Everything was fine, but her sister kept making eyes at me. I didn't think much of it until my GF went to the bathroom, and I went to the kitchen to get a drink refill. The sister followed me in and immediately gets right up behind me. I'm a little uncomfortable, but she's just akward close, not touching me... she quietly says "hey, why don't you give me a call sometime, I'll make it worth your time sexy". I was horrified. I had just met her, and I was dating her sister. I told her no thanks, got my drink and hurried back to the livingroom. When my GF came out, I made eye contact and made it clear I was ready to go. She ignored me for almost an hour and we finally leave. The GF gets pissed as soon as we hit the car (pickup truck actually), thinking I was just being a dick. I shut that shit down by explaining what happened. She gets mad and tells me a story about how her sister slept with her ex-husband, and how she was a snake and had stolen boyfriends before too. I tell her I don't ever want to be left alone with her again. I then explain that I am NOT a cheater, I wont ever be that guy, and I don't want to be put in a sketchy situation to be misinterpreted either. She agrees, and acts like everything's cool and I had said the right things.

There were a couple more incidents that, at the time, just seemed like standard jealous girlfriend stuff. One stands out, she had acquired a handful of time-sheets from my work and accused me of taking days off and calling in sick without her knowing it, and accused me of using the days to see other women. I was confused, since I have a good work ethic and very rarely take vacations and virtually never call in sick. Turned out she had gotten my brothers time-sheets (he worked at the same place) and my brother had zero work ethic. He called in all the time to do drugs with his wife. I didn't even ask how she got hold of the time-sheets, I just laughed it off and thought she did too.

About 9 or 10 months into the relationship, I popped 'the question', she said yes. We went ring shopping. Like I said, she didn't work and though I had a job, it wasn't the greatest paying job out there. I made about 30K a year, so things were tight-ish, but getting a nice ring was workable as long as neither of us got too crazy. I figured on a combined budget of about $1000USD to $1500 combined.

She decided she just HAD to have this ring that was right at $5000. I told her there was no way I could afford that, and my credit was so crappy at the time they couldn't finance it. I joked that if I was going to spend $5K that it would be on a wedding car, not a ring since she was borrowing her dads car to get around. I told her to pick out something more in line with our budget, and we'd get better rings in the future for an anniversary. She said OK, but I could tell she was pissed. I found a ring I really liked (about $150) but she couldn't find anything and kept looking at the expensive ring giving me puppy dog eyes. The clerk wasnt helping, he kept handing her the ring and saying how nice it looked on her. I was mad, and just decided it was better we leave and come back another day. Give her time to think about it.

A few days later, we're at her parents house and her dad pulls me off to the side. Now, her dads a great guy. I really liked him a lot, so I liked being at his house and he seemed to really like me too. He says to me "My daugher says she found a ring she likes, but you cant afford it..." I get a little irritated that she would tell her father that, and he sees it "Don't get upset, I'm not going to try to convince you to buy it. I want to buy it....but you cant tell her I did." I tell him thanks, but no, I cant do that...he's already paying for the wedding that we haven't even planned yet. I remind him that he has no idea how much he'll end up forking over for that yet. He insists. He wants his baby to be happy, and he wants her to be happy with me. After some more argument, I agree....but only if he allows me to pay him back, which he does. About a week later, me and him go get the ring she wanted. I made sure a different clerk from the first time got the sale, fuck that guy. I gave it to her that night, and cue the fireworks and the bedside lamp cut-scene. We were back on track.

The day of the wedding arrives, we'd been together almost a year at this point, and it's great. We have a noon wedding at this old wooden church from the early 1800's, and the reception in a nearby field with an old tobacco barn. It was very picturesque but brief, since we'd arranged to go to Orlando for our honeymoon, her choice. Since I could get a good deal by going through a vacation planner from work, provided I went to this timeshare thing, it worked out. We got 1 night in a nice hotel, had to go to a hard-sell timeshare thing the next day for about 2hrs, and got free tickets to Epcot for the following day for about $200. Normally the Epcot tickets alone would have been nearly that. We would then have to switch hotels and had planned to stay for an additional week to see the rest of the city.

End Epilogue (told you it was going to be long) and begin the REAL story:

The reception ends, and we head straight to the courthouse to file the wedding certificate since it was 4:30pm and they closed at 5pm. I park and run inside, she stays in the truck since she's still in her wedding dress. They had closed early. Fuck. I knew we had 10 days after the wedding to file the certificate, and we were only planning to be gone about 5 to 7 days max. I also knew that if she found out that she'd insist we wait until the next day to leave. That would ruin the first night in the good hotel, and I had no idea if it would stop us from doing the timeshare thing potentially ruining Epcot too. I made an executive decision on the way back to the car to just...not tell her. I could file when we got back, no problem. She would never need to know.

We went back to my apartment, and changed into travel clothes and put the suitcases into the back of the truck and left. When she wasn't paying attention, I slipped the wedding certificate into her purse inside a little zipper section I knew she rarely used. I figured it would be safer there than anywhere else. In hindsight I should have left it in the apartment.

I should note that at the time I drove a Barney purple Ford Ranger splash. It stood out. My brother had written the standard "just Married" stuff ALL OVER IT in bright red paint. It really stood out. We took off, and after many people honking and we waved at everyone that did, we arrived in Orlando about 3hrs later. We check in to the Embassy Suites, take a very fun joint shower and after several 'fun-time' hours go to sleep. The next day we do the timeshare seminar thing, get the Epcot tickets and check out. I find a cheaper, but still nice, motel close to Epcot and check in. It's a Masters Inn with exterior room doors, not interior with a hallway (image search 'Masters Inn' and you'll get what I mean). We put our stuff in the room, and immediately leave.

I grew up on the Eastside of Orlando, so I take her on the grand tour of all my childhood memories. My elementary school, the old neighborhood, the local hangouts telling her my early life story at every turn. I also take her to meet my paternal Grandfather who lived in Winter Park, just outside Orlando at the time. We go to dinner and head back to the motel around 8pm with plans to go to Epcot early so we can spent the entire day. We were going to take the shuttle, but since we both smoked we decided it would be better to take my truck instead.

The day goes great with two exceptions. I wore some pants that were a bit loose on me, and couldn't find a belt for sale at the park. I spent the whole day hitching up my britches, which made me mildly irritable. Second, she was being overly affectionate for a family theme park, and I knew Disney didn't tolerate that level of PDA and would throw you out if it got out of hand. I had to keep telling her no when she wanted to do more than a quick kiss. She was sticking her tongue down my throat, and getting handsy...then she got mad when I told her to knock it off.

By the time we left Epcot, we were both a little irritable but still in a generally OK mood. We stopped at a 7-11 on the way home. They're selling these pre-made whiskey/coke things, and I feel that they'll help the mood so I buy 4 of them. We pull into the Masters Inn, go up to our room, and...the key doesn't work. I go to the lobby and tell the clerk, he pulls up the room and says no ones checked into that room. After a brief discussion, we realize I'm an idiot and went to the wrong Masters Inn...there's a couple of them in town, and since every street in Orlando looks basically the same, I went the wrong way and ended up at the wrong one.

She thinks this is evidence that I'm stupid and keeps harping on me about it the whole drive to our actual motel. We go inside, take a shower and decide to drink. The drinks are warm, so I say I'm going to go get ice and leave the room wearing pink sweatpants (hers) and a tanktop. I did it to make her laugh, which she did, and figured the ice machine would be close so no worries. I was wrong. I walked around the entire motel looking for a machine. The only one they had was in the lobby, so I fill two buckets (not wanting to go back) and head back to the room.

Shes. Not. There. The clothes she wore at the park, which were on the floor when I left, are gone. I figure she ran down to the truck to get something, so I pour drinks. She isn't back, so I look outside and don't see her by the truck. Neither of us had cellphones at the time, so I just lay down and started flipping channels waiting.

She comes back maybe 5 minutes later and her first words are a loud "FUCK YOU". I just stare at her, and she starts yelling about how I didn't go get ice, I was calling all my bitches back home and that she knew I was cheating on her. I point at the ice buckets and simply say "Ice"...she goes ballistic saying "You were gone for fucking 20 minutes, I knew you were cheating, my sister told me not to trust you!". I get mad because her sister is the one who slept with her last husband, I remind her of that, and how she also hit on me and that I had nothing to do with her because of it. She launches into a tirade about how her sister followed me around and saw me with several convenience store clerks near my job, and that I was busted. She then states "Thats ok, I own you now...you wont be driving yourself to work ever again! I will! If you go anywhere from now on it will be with me or my son, and you can forget about sex for at least a month!"

I'm beside myself...I might have actually had an out of body experience. I very calmly say "are you done?" She goes on for another couple minutes in the same vein, and finally says "Well? What do you have to say for yourself?"

I work in Corrections, so I'm no stranger to tense verbal situations that could lead to violence, so I don't yell at all. I say, very calmly, "I will drive myself wherever the fuck I please, with or without whoever the fuck I want. I don't cheat, I have never cheated, I WILL never cheat. If you trust your lying sack of shit sister more than the man you married, then maybe you should have married her instead." She screams "MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE!" so I reply with "so are you saying we're done? I refuse to live like you just described. If that's the only option, then you're saying we're done. Are we done?"

She yells "WE'RE DONE WHEN I SAY WE'RE DONE....YOU'RE DONE, BUT WE AREN'T BY A LONGSHOT...I...OWN....YOU!!"

I reply with "so we're done. Get some sleep, we're going back home in the morning". Neither of us get much sleep, but we dont talk to each other at all. The next morning, around 9am, I ask her "Have you calmed down, or are we still through" she answers with a very angry "Fuck you asshole"...so I get up, and start loading our stuff. I tell her "get in the truck or get left" and she wisely gets in.

The Revenge Begins

At this point I'm not 100% sure we're officially over yet, I just know we aren't staying in Orlando just to fight. On the drive out of Orlando, people are honking at us because of the 'just married' stuff, and she's yelling at them, giving them the finger. My windows are very darkly tinted, so I doubt anyone really saw her, but I still tell her to knock that shit off. She rolls the window down, and before I can say anything she's taken off her wedding ring and thrown it out the window.

I start laughing. She gets says "what're you laughing at, I hope you enjoy paying for that!". I drop the bombshell: "your dad bought that ring, he did it so you'd be happy and made me swear not to tell you...enjoy telling him you threw his 5K away bitch" at this point I know we're over for good. She starts yelling for me to pull over on the East-West Expressway...yeah, right! It's a 4-lane toll road, very busy, everyone going 70mph+, with a very narrow shoulder. I tell her she's fucked, that ring is gone. She's furiously yelling, but I cant stop smiling because I feel like I've just avoided a lifetime of misery and somehow everything happened like it did just to save me...but it gets better/worse.

We get back to town and when I slow down to turn down the road to my apartment, she screams "Take me home you fucker, take me home now!", so I head to her parents house about 4 miles away. As soon as I stop she says "bye motherfucker", jumps out, slams the shit out of the door, and runs inside. I guess she thought I'd just go home. I did not. I got out and walked up to the door. Her dad opened it before I could knock and steps out. He says "Rodnaxela, what happened, whats going on???" So I explain it to him, and include that she threw the ring out the window. He is instantly mad. I think he's mad at both of us, but he's not. He tells me to come in and I do. Mom is sitting there (she's wheelchair bound, has a British accent and is completely awesome), and she looks like she wants to cry....which makes me want to cry. My GF comes out of the kitchen, sees me, and starts swearing a blue streak as she grabs her purse and her dads car keys. She bolts out the door and takes off to god knows where. I stay there for about an hour explaining everything that went down.

They drop a bombshell. They tell me that she has been married 3 previous times, and ruined all of them with her anger and jealousy. They are sorry for not telling me, but they really liked me and wanted me in their family. They hoped that I would be the one to settle her down since it seemed like we never fought and I was really good at de-escalating. I tell them I understand, and apologize for the whole situation and leave.

It's on the way home that I remember the wedding certificate and have an "oh fuck" moment. I initially have no idea what to do, or how to get it from her without her knowing since we now hate each other. I go home and start putting all her shit into garbage bags. I haven't mentioned her son much because even though his mother and I lived together, he spend 99% of the time at her parents house. He had the spare room set up for when he stayed there, but he rarely did. I packed what little he had more carefully than I had hers, using an actual box.

While I was packing, she showed up with my brother. Turns out she was over there talking shit. She was high school friends with his wife, so it didn't strike me as odd when I thought about it. It also didn't strike me odd that my brother was acting like a dick because he likely believed her version of the story and his wife being friends with her drove it home. They loaded up her stuff, stole a moderate amount of my stuff (including some of the wedding gifts/checks I was going to return, didn't notice that for a week) and left. My dear bother forged my signature on the checks and cashed them the next day, which I didn't find out for awhile. She didn't have her purse with her, so there was no opportunity to retrieve the certificate.

After she left, I called her dad and asked if the purse in question was there. She had several. He looked and couldn't find it, he asked why but I didn't tell him. I asked him to call me when she got home, no matter how late it was. I had formulated a plan that I wasn't sure would work, but had to try.

He called around 11pm and said she had just come in, he was whispering so she didn't know he was calling me. Perfect. I drove over and knocked on the door. She answered. "what the fuck do you want?" she says. I earned the academy award by putting on a sad face and saying "baby, please, this has gone far enough. I love you. I'll do whatever you want, just don't leave me...please...lets go get something to eat and talk...I'll do anything you want" she looks at me for a minute, gets this cruel look and says give me a minute. I stand there trying to keep looking sad in case she peeks out the window, and after a couple minutes she steps back outside..With. The. Purse!!!

Without warning, as she steps down the stairs, I snatch the purse from her and run into the yard. I get the certificate out and start waving it around. She has no clue whats going on and just stands there. I yell "I got the wedding certificate bitch, they were closed, I never filed it you cunt!!!" as she starts to move towards me, I throw her purse at her and start ripping up the certificate. I throw half of the pieces in her face and jump in my truck and haul ass away. Best moment of my life.

So far it's just petty revenge bordering on pro. I was gotten as good as I gave, and maybe I got the worse end of it since she got the wedding money. This is where it goes into pro level, maybe even nuclear...possibly even supernova levels, even though I was only partially the reason her life ended up being ruined.

I get back home feeling very happy with myself, and start watching TV. I even still have about a week and a half left on my vacation. Fuck Yeah! Then my phone rings, it's my brother. He starts yelling at me that I'm an asshole and that I'll pay for doing what I did and he'll make sure of it. I hang up on him, and turn off my ringer. I start thinking about what he said and realize that he may have planted something while he was here. I know he's into pills and smokes dope, so I wouldn't put it past him. I immediately start searching my house. I empty every closet, every cupboard, strip the beds, vacuum and basically spend the next 2 days cleaning that place better than it's ever been cleaned. I keep running across these tiny ziploc baggies in weird places. Under the bathroom sink, under the couch, behind books on a shelf....and I have no idea why. The bags are big enough to put a bottlecap in at most and look dusty inside. Then it hits me when I find some 2 inch (5cm) straws under the bed. Cocaine. Shit.

I go BACK through the whole place and find a couple more baggies and a few more straws. At this point I have no idea my brother is into coke, and the amount of baggies with the apparent age of some of them makes me think they're all my exes. I'm pissed, so I call her dad. I tell him what I've been finding and he gets quiet. He says "Rodnaxela, I'm so sorry, I thought she was done with that, I should have warned you...I'm so sorry" I'm floored as he explains that she's had coke issues off and on for years. She had said she quit when her parents threatened to fight for custody of her kid and throw her out if she didn't. This was a few months before we started dating. I inform him that I can get some drug tests from work fairly easily if he wants, he says he may want them and that he'll call me back.

The next day I get a call from her dad. He had just confronted her and told her that if she refused to pee in a cup, with her mother watching, whenever they wanted her to she would be thrown out on the street. She refused and they told her she had 5 days to either get out or reconsider. I told him to let me know if she reconsidered, and I'd get him the tests. He never called me back, and we never spoke again. Due to some things my brother stirred up at work, I wasnt speaking to him anymore either, so I didnt find out what all happened for a while.

About 6 months later I found out through a mutual friend that they had thrown her out, and when she didn't contact them or her son for about 2 months they filed for custody based on abandonment (not sure all of the specifics). Last I heard, they had raised him to be a good man and his mother was last seen living under a highway overpass, but that was several years ago. She's either dead now or maybe under another overpass in another city...at least that's how I prefer to picture her.

There is a whole 'rest of the story' that involves my brother trying to ruin my life because of this situation. Turns out he and my ex were doing coke together, but all the connections were hers...when I ended things, she cut him out. He went to work the week before I came back and spread some pretty fucked up lies about me and how the breakup happened. I was new to the institution at the time and was scheduled to start a new shift on my return, so it was perfect timing on his part....but that's a whole different story that I might write at some point, since I got revenge on several people over the course of things.

If enough people say this rises to the level of nuclear or supernova, I'll crosspost.

TL;DR I marry some bitch, she thinks that means she can turn me into her slave, turns out we weren't really married and she ends up losing her kid and living under a bridge like a cunty troll.

(source) story by (/u/Rodnaxela)

#prorevenge #by /u/Rodnaxela #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

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svtmatokis · 4 years

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Miracle P2

LASTLY here is Miracle P2. I am sooo soft since the song was released and I hope you guys get why Jihoon is acting the way he is in this fic. Also has anyone noticed tht i LOVE using Yoongi and Jihoon in the same fics? K I need some sleep now cause getting 2hrs the night before and a birthday party right after = zzzzzzzzzz

Have you ever had that moment where you met one person who just changed your life in an instant?

Words: 4772

Pairing: You x Jihoon

Warnings: NGL y’all are gonna wanna brush your teeth extra once the fluff in this fic is over

Part 1

Tags: @mitchx17carat

(If you want to be tagged, feel free to send me an ask or reply to the fic of your choice.)

The first day of classes had finally arrived. Unfortunately for Jihoon, the two of you hadn’t seen each other since the morning after Jungkooks birthday since he had to take care of Soonyoung after he woke up and you went to tend to the others who lived in the house.

After a quick bye, the two of you went your separate ways and as Jihoon sat in his first class of the semester waiting for the instructor to arrive, he started to think when he was going to see you again. He was sure that both Soonyoung and Seungcheol would have your number but he didn’t feel like answering any questions they might have.

As he continued to let his thoughts drift, he overheard a few of the students talking and when Yoongi’s name was mentioned, he started to pay attention.

“I heard Min Yoongi’s going to be the assistant for this class.” one girl said as her friend gasped.

“I haven’t seen Yoongi around campus in ages. I wonder what’s making him comeback. He’s already a big name as is outside of this college and anyone who works with him is considered lucky.” she said, “Theres a rumor that Y/N came back from that program the school sent her to in London so it could be that.”

“If Y/N’s back then that could be the reason...you know how much he’s doted on her and I can’t blame him either. She’s so pretty and talented.” another girl butted in. “You don’t think they’re dating do you?”

Jihoons eyebrows furrowed at the last statement he heard, was it a secret that you and Yoongi were siblings? Everyone at the party seemed to acknowledge it since most of the guys who were there steered clear of you and he had heard that Yoongi was fiercely protective of you when it came to dating.

A tap on his shoulder shook him out of his thoughts and it was as if the sun rose when he looked up to see your face.

“Is anyone sitting here?” you asked motioning to the seat next to him that had his bag on it and Jihoon sat up quickly to remove it. How lucky was he that you were in this class? A class that he almost didn’t take because of what happened in the past.

“No, no ones sitting here.” he said and you put your bag on the desk before sitting down. “I didn’t know you were going to be taking this class.”

“I have to.” you said, “Plus, you won’t believe who our T.A is going to be…”

“Yoongi?” Jihoon asked and you nodded shocked that he knew. Obviously he saw it because he continued to explain further, “This class is full of gossips.”

“Ah…” you said covering your mouth as you giggled, “Did you already hear the rumor that Yoongi and I were dating then?”

Jihoon nodded chuckling himself, he was surprised to see that you knew of the rumor and decided to ask you about it.

“Does no one on campus know that you two are siblings or something?”

“It’s not that...it’s just that no one asks. Yoongi graduated from the music program when I was a freshman. He was already producing music for outside people back then so he was fairly well known. But because you know, him being him,walked me to every class till I left for London.” you explained, “If people asked we would tell them we were siblings but I guess it’s more fun to assume things.” you let out a sigh and blew a piece of hair that had fallen in your face.

“Life of a college kid.” Jihoon agreed with a nod, “Where is he anyways? Wasn’t class supposed to start five minutes ago?”

“He’s standing outside talking to that instructor...Bumzu or something about a project he wants Yoongi to help with.” you explained just as Yoongi walked into the room and you saw him smirk as he saw you sitting with Jihoon.

“Hello class...welcome to Advanced Music Production.” he said in a monotone voice as he put somethings on the desk. “As you can see, the instructor is no where to be found. Due to a recent project, he will not be attending classes until the middle of the semester.”

“Bummer” you said as Yoongi shot you a glare but continued.

“I will be taking over in his place till then and to start the semester off, you guys will have to do a project to show that you actually belong in this class. The course outline has been emailed to you all by the instructor and as you can see, there will be a final production project that EVERYONE will have to complete individually because it will be half your grade.” Yoongi explained looking at each person in the class.

“The first project that you guys will be doing will be a partners project but choose wisely. The project will show the instructor and I who will be invited to take part 2 of this course next semester which as you know is not mandatory to graduate but is a lot more advanced than this and is for those who are serious about music producing. Are there any questions?”

When no one raised their hands, Yoongi smiled and you swore you heard a squeal come from behind you.

“Good, the details of the first project is on the course outline. I will be here to assist and give advice but please try to complete it with your partner before coming to me. You have two weeks to complete the project starting now. Please let me know who your partner is before the end of class.” he finished and sat down which signalled for everyone to start working.

During the time that Yoongi was talking about partners, you felt Jihoon nudge you ever so slightly and you nodded at him when you saw him look at you from the corner of his eye. You had a hunch that there would be a few people who would’ve wanted to partner with you to get your connections to Yoongi but thankfully, Jihoon was already one of Yoongi’s few mentees (literally only you and Jihoon) and you had no problem working with him.

“Hey welcome back Y/N.” Joshua who you recognized from freshman year said as he sat down in the desk in front of you. You heard from Seungcheol that he had joined the SVT Frat and lived with the guys but outside of that, you never talked much.

“It was fun, thanks for the English lessons by the way. They totally helped.” you said with a smile, “I hate to be back but you know...real school calls.”

“Didn’t some of the credits from the last two years move forward?” Joshua asked and you nodded.

“Most of my dance credits have me covered that I can take it less seriously now, but I only took music comp during my final year there and it wasn’t enough.” you let out a sigh, “It’s fine though considering who our T.A is.”

“Yea who would’ve thought Yoongi would return to teaching.” Joshua said, “Are you partnered with anyone yet?”

You nodded your head to Jihoon had stayed quiet this whole time, “Jihoon and I agreed to work together for the semester. Is Vernon coming back this year?”

“Oh, hey Jihoon..” Joshua said with a wave, “I just assumed that you’d be working yourself again like you did last semester and yea, he’s on his way back from New York now. He’ll be back in class tomorrow.”

You looked at Jihoon with wide eyes wondering how he convinced the instructors to let him work alone for most of the year but had a feeling Yoongi’s influence had something to do with it.

“I thought a change would be beneficial this semester.” Jihoon said and looked at you, “I’ll go tell Yoongi about the partners.”

“Sounds good.” you said with a smile and Jihoon got up.

‘Did she really imply that she wanted to work with me for the semester?’ he thought to himself as he went to talk to Yoongi while you and Joshua continued your conversation.

“I didn’t expect you to be friends with someone like Jihoon at all.” Joshua said and you gave him one of those looks and he quickly continued to explain, “It’s nothing like that...its just that he’s pretty introverted when it comes to class...I see him with Cheol and everyone and he seems okay but still, very timid.”

“Really?” you asked looking at Jihoon and Yoongi talk, “I met him during Jungkooks birthday party a few days ago...didn’t seem that timid. By the way, where the heck were you?! I had to take care of Tae’s drunk ass myself since Jin and Nam were busy with birthday boy and Jimin.”

Joshua smirked at the comment, “Maybe it’s the way you are around people. You can get the mute to open up and tell you their life story.” he snorted, “And I literally got back from visiting my mom two days ago and totally missed the birthday party. I actually have to make up for it by meeting the guys for drinks tonight, you want to come with?”

You frowned as you looked down at your phone showing him your jam packed calendar. “I can’t even if I wanted to. Hobi, Soonyoung and I are meeting up to talk about dance team auditions then I need to talk to Jihoon about the project. Plus Yoongi’s being well...Yoongi…”

“It’s understandable, you know he means well right?” Joshua asked knowing the situation of your odd family and you shrugged.

“I know. It’s why we give each other such a hard time.” you said with a grin.

“Who do you give a hard time too?” Jihoon asked coming back to his seat as he overheard your last comment.

“Yoongi.” you said simply and Jihoon shook his head.

“It’s a wonder how you survive living with them you know.” he stated.

“She doesn’t live with them.” Joshua said, “Unless you decided to move into a house full of guys.”

“I technically live in my dorm with Kimi...but from what I heard the last few days, Soonyoungs going to be a regular there so maybe I will start living with the guys.” you said grimacing to what you saw when you came home one day. “Anyways, are you or Vernon coming out for dance team this year?”

“Vernon is, I am most definitely not.” Joshua said with a shake of his head, “I’ll be at every performance with Tae to take pretty pictures though.” he said using his hands as a fake camera, “You should really try out this year Jihoon. It’s a lot of fun especially with Y/N back”

Joshuas comment made you nod in agreement, “I heard from Soonyoung that the two of you used to dance together. Chan’s on the team too.”

“I’ll think about it.” Jihoon said and saw the hopeful smile on your face and he couldn’t help but smile back. Maybe he would try out this year. There was nobody holding him back after all.

Eventually class ended and you thanked the heavens that you only had one class that day. You had been working on a few things since you got back and you didn’t want to stop until it was completed. Unfortunately, that meant not being done till about 5 in the morning which only allowed you 2.5hours of sleep before you had to get ready for class.

“Do you want to go get lunch to discuss the project?” Jihoon asked not ready to part ways with you yet and was happy that you agreed.

“Sure, I have to meet with Hobi and Soonyoung after though for dance stuff.”

“That’s fine, I’ll probably head back to the house after that then.” Jihoon said, “Do you want anything in particular?”

“I’m craving jajangmyeon...no ramen...no..” you let out a sigh not being able to decide as Jihoon laughed next to you. “I’m seriously craving Jajangramyeon*…” you said with a pout.

“Jajangramyeon*?” Jihoon asked shocked and decided at that very moment, you were someone that needed to be a permanent fixture in his life. No one knew about Jajangramyeon but here you were actually craving it. “Do you...want to go back to my dorm then? I can make lunch while we discuss the project…” he suggested shyly thinking you wouldn’t agree to something so forward but the look on your face said otherwise.

“You know what Jajangramyeon is?” you asked shocked and he nodded his head.

“It’s my favorite foods…” he said and the smile you gave him after that literally made his heart melt. It was the biggest and sweetest one he had ever seen from you and he couldn’t help but grin back.

“Lee Jihoon, I really think that this is a wonderful start to an everlasting friendship.” you said and packed up your things quickly as your stomach started talking for you.

“Yea?” he asked completely shocked at what came out of your mouth but his grin grew when you nodded your head.

“Anyone who knows about and how to make Jajangramyeon is considered high in my books.” you said as you walked towards the door and purposely said loudly, “Maybe even higher than Yoongi and Jin!”

“HEY! Say that in front of Jin next time you want something to eat!” you heard from behind making you and Jihoon snicker as you walked out towards Jihoon’s dorm which was the SVT Frat house.

You had only been here once before you left for London and that was when you and Hoseok had gone to tell Soonyoung the news of him being the new junior dance team co-captain which he completely deserved at the time. Ever since then, Soonyoung and Hoseok were partners when it came to the dance team but due to lack of experience, Hobi was the only one teaching the after school classes and you knew that it took a lot out of him.

When the two of you walked into the house, you saw Seungcheol and Soonyoung in the living room seemingly watching a movie. They waved as you and Jihoon walked by and made your way to the kitchen.

“I knew it was a good idea that Jihoon went to that party.” Soonyoung said, “He’s managed to change himself in less than five days.”

“Y/N has that effect on people.” Seungcheol said, “I just hope she doesn’t break his heart…”

“Doubt it.” Soonyoung said as he saw the ingredients that Jihoon was getting together, “Look at what he’s making for lunch.”

Seungcheol leaned over slightly to see the ingredients on the table and wrinkled his nose, “I knew it wasn’t only Jihoon who liked that stuff together. The fact that he’s cooking for someone else too is just…”

“Not Jihoon?” Soonyoung asked and Seungcheol nodded. “But remember how Yoongi and Jin were when you started college?”

“Y/N was their light and despite having lost so much in her life, she still managed to bring those two back.” Seungcheol said with a small sigh, “Now they’d do anything for her and it’s not because they have to either…”

“I’ve never seen Y/N not have a smile on her face. She’s gone through a lot...more so than any of us. She’s the step sister of the student body president and star producer who didn’t even know about her for fifteen years...I admire her because of that.” Soonyoung said the two watched Jihoon cooking while you sat on the counter next to him talking about something they couldn’t hear.

“You admire her for being the step sister of an affair?” Seungcheol asked and Sooyoung shook his head quickly.

“I admire her because despite losing both parents and gaining two brothers, she’s still so strong. We don’t know her full story but if she can smile like she does now without a care in the world and make someone like Jihoon come out of his shell. It makes me think about all the rumors that people spread about her during her first year when Yoongi walked her to every class and when Jin would have lunch with her whenever he wasn’t busy.” Soonyoung sighed, “I wonder how badly the rumors affected her that she decided to leave so suddenly that year...Yoongi practically shut himself from everyone again and Jin went back to being Jin.”

“I never noticed that...So it wasn’t because of the video she submitted for the audition?” Seungcheol asked and Soonyoung shrugged.

“Hoseok told me that it was between him and Y/N for the London program and he backed out so Y/N could go. But essentially, because no one would ask and they just assumed who she was to them, she did the one thing she knew how to do. She ran away and came back stronger than ever.”

Seungcheol thought about Soonyoungs last comment and watched as Jihoon made two bowls of noodles while you sat on the counter next to him talking about whatever you were talking to him and it was evident that the big smiles on both your faces were genuine and both boys had simultaneous thoughts.

‘Just like Jihoon…’

“...Sounds like your back bone grew while you away then. The program sounds like it was a lot of fun.” Jihoon said as he went to put the two bowls of noodles on the table.

The two of you had been talking about your time in London and how much it changed you and helped your confidence level. In London, no one was there to gossip on how you were tied to the schools top producer or the student body president. Instead, they praised you for your talent in dance and classical music and it really did help with yourself esteem in general.

“I would want to go back one day just for vacation. There were so many spots that I didn’t get to see while I was there since school was literally year round.” you said as you hopped off the countertop to join Jihoon. “Oooo! This looks so good.”

“Eat up.” Jihoon said handing you a pair of chopsticks. “It tastes better when it’s hot.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” you said and instantly took a bite. The moan that left your mouth made Jihoon stop midbite as he saw you close your eyes in satisfaction. “And here I thought Mingyu and Jin were always good cooks...I have obviously been wronged.”

Jihoon tried to hide his blush from your compliment by lifting his bowl to take a bite himself and swallowing before he said, “It’s just one of my specialties…Mingyu does most of the cooking around here.”

“Yea, but no one really mixes the jajangmyeon and ramen noodles that well and it normally ends up being too bland or too spicy.” you said wrinkling your nose, “Yours on the other hand is one hundred percent.” you shot him a wink and took another mouthful as Jihoon sat there with a blush on his cheeks as he watched you eat.

This was something that he could really get used to...it just felt so natural with you. He didn’t have to force himself to be anyone and to him you were an open book. He was surprised how much had changed from a week ago before the two of you even met and now here he was, cooking his favorite food for someone who also loved the same thing and he couldn’t have felt anymore happier.

Eventually the conversation went to the project that you had to work on and it really didn’t take long to plan it out since you two had similar schedules since you were both part of the dance department and only had two classes for composition which you shared.

“I like that idea…” Jihoon later said once all the food was cleaned up and you were now out with your laptops going through the outline. “How about we meet up…”

Unfortunately, Jihoon couldn’t finish his sentence since Soonyoung decided to walk in with Hoseok in tow and the two proceeded to sit in front of you and Jihoon.

“Weren’t we supposed to meet at the cafe in like two hours?” you asked looking between the two grinning boys.

“Then Soonyoung said you were here and I finished classes early today and thought that we push our meeting earlier since we have a lot to discuss.” Hoseok said and looked at Jihoon, “Feel free to stick around Ji. You’re going to audition for the dance team this year right?”

“I have somethings to take care of and as I told everyone else, I’ll think about it.” Jihoon said and looked at you with a soft smile, “I’ll talk to you later then?”

You gave him a smile back and nodded, “I’ll come say bye before Hobi and I leave.”

“Does that mean you’re coming back to the house again?” Hoseok asked and you pointed at Soonyoung.

“Yes, considering he’s going to my dorm after this meeting.” you deadpanned and Soonyoung gave you a heart with his hands.

Once Jihoon was officially out of earshot and the kitchen door was closed, both boys jumped into conversation.

“Please tell me you convinced him to audition for the dance team.” Hoseok said, “We NEED someone with his skill on the team this year or else we won’t stand a chance for finals.”

“Please tell me you’ll say yes if he ever asks you out.” Soonyoung pleaded. “You’re literally the first and only person he’s cooked for since he’s gotten here so that says A LOT.”

You blinked as both boys held one of your hands each and you took them away quickly before flicking both of them on the forehead.

“You heard what he said and he didn’t tell me different.” you answered Hoseoks question, “and we literally met a week ago and didn’t you say he was hung up on his ex the last time we talked?” you asked Soonyoung.

“I don’t think he’s hooked on her anymore Y/N...and for the record, you’re the first female he’s ever looked and smiled at in two years” Soonyoung stated, “Yoongi’s told us stories about you too and I think he was interested in who you were at first but I know he fell when he met you. The guy was completely speechless at Kookies birthday party.”

“Plus Yoongi doesn’t talk highly about ANYONE who doesn’t deserve it.” Hoseok added, “Don’t you think it’s time for you to find genuine happiness too Y/N? You know those rumors don’t matter anymore and Jihoon isn’t the type to judge. Plus, Yoongi and Jin WILL approve. Jin posted it on Instagram when he found you two in the same bed for frick sake!”

“Yea, I kind of find that hilarious considering that he was taking care of me before he ditched to hang out with you and clean YOUR frat house of all places.” Soonyoung said with a pout. “So...will you say yes?”

“How about you guys just let things happen naturally as they already are?” a voice asked coming from behind you and you saw Seungcheol leaning on the door frame, “It’s obvious Jihoons already stepped out of his comfort zone by doing what he did today and I can guarantee he’s up in his room thinking things through as he always does. Plus, don’t you three have to discuss the dance program for the YEAR?” he asked and the three of you glared at him.

“Would you like to join the conversation and join the dance team this year Mr.Choi?” you asked sarcastically as a small grin appeared on Seungcheols face as he took the seat next to you.

“As a matter of fact….”

A few hours later, Jihoon decided to go and check on your little meeting surprised to find Hoseok and Soonyoung dancing around the kitchen while Seungcheol was laughing while holding his stomach. He then looked at your situation where you had your hair tied in a high bun and there were papers surrounding you.

“Is she alive…?” Jihoon asked poking your shoulder as you moaned and you looked up at him with pure exhaustion in your eyes.

“Please audition for dance team this year and not leave me with these three monsters.” you begged which made Seungcheol, Soonyoung and Hoseok laugh even harder and catching Jihoon off guard.

“Don’t forget Vernon and Chan.” Soonyoung added before grinning evily, “And Taehyung…”

“There’s also Hyungwon, Jun, Minghao…you should be happy Kimi’s coming back” Hoseok started listing as well and you stood up having enough.

“I’m done.” you said throwing the papers you had into your bag, “We’ve decided what we’ve had to decide and the audition dates are set. I can’t handle another hour with you idiots.” you stated and turned to look at Seungcheol, “And you of all people decided to come back to the dance team after two years without an audition, like what the heck!”

“It’s one less person we have to audition if you really think about it.” Hoseok said leaning on the countertop. “This leaves us four spots to fill.”

“True but still…” you sighed shaking your head, “I’m heading back to the house. Are you coming with?”

Hoseok shook his head, “I’m gonna hang out with the guys for a bit and I’ll be home later. Don’t stay up too late working again. You’re going to burn yourself out...seriously.”

“Yes grandfather.” you said sarcastically and picked up your bag before looking at everyone in the room including Jihoon, “I’ll see you guys later.”

“I’ll walk you out.” Jihoon said as he followed you out of the kitchen and to the front door. “Are you sure you’ll be okay going back yourself? You look really tired.” How had he not noticed it earlier?

“Well, having a meeting with three children for the first time in two years would do that to you” you said with a yawn, “I’ll be fine though...it’s only like a fifteen minute walk.”

Jihoon looked at you with uncertainty before acting out of impulse. He held his hand out and asked you for your phone which he put his phone number into.

“Text me when you get back then so I know you made it safe okay?” he asked and you nodded before opening the door.

“Thanks for lunch today Jihoon, it was literally the highlight of my day.” you said with a tired smile, “I’ll see you tomorrow…”

“See you tomorrow Y/N..” he said with a smile as he lead you out to the porch, “Remember to text me.”

“Got it. Bye Ji~” you said with a wave and started walking away.

Jihoon watched you disappear around the corner before closing the door. He then went up to his bedroom to cover his face with a pillow and groaned. Was he seriously going to do this?

You were the girl that Yoongi had talked non stop about whenever they would hang out or when Jihoon would go to his studio to work. After two years he was finally able to put a face to a name and personality and he had to admit, he really liked what he saw in just one day.

You were easy going, soft spoken yet full of confidence. Your smile could turn anyones frown upside down and he could tell that everyone in his frat house and the BTS frat house doted on you like a little sister so he had to ask himself again. Was he really going to do this?

He thought back to your big eyes and bright smile before thinking about the things the guys said about you which happened to be all good. He then thought back to the slump he had been in for the last two years and realized that today was that one day in those two years where he actually felt like his old determined self. After coming to a conclusion, he decided to set the plan into action.

(Three hours later)

[10:45pm] Woozi - Hey Y/N? Are you okay?

[10:45pm] Woozi - I had to get your number from Cheol because you didn’t text me...so can you please reply so I know you’re alive?

*Jajangramyeon - A mix of Jajangmyeon and spicy ramen noodles, I actually tried this combo and its legit...interesting but legit.

#woozi #kpop fiction #kpop imagine #woozi imagine #seventeen fiction #seventeen imagine #seventeen #jihoon #lee jihoon #fluff

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sweet-xoxo-thatcares · 2 years

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Omgg I'm about to cry.

Snappy from Amazon gave me a $50 credit for a free gift this holiday after I was having such a hard time today emotionally about all this stuff about a girl who doesn't even think about me.

It made me feel great to know one of the things I asked for was actually coming to me for free.

I wanted a new smoothie blender because the only had, I had left at my grandmother's house in Grand Rapids, the one who passed cause she had sorta kicked me out after that fight about my hamster...wtf lol I don't even wanna bring it up lol....

But yea not funny story. I'm just thankful.

And to have all these blessings coming to me for my hard work and after all that suffering.

Almost a reminder to appreciate the good things and not just keep complaining about the past and what I struggled with or still am struggling with...

Like my sexuality, money management, driving, taking better care of myself, and knowing how to let go instead of holding a grudge that could hold me up from receiving more blessings.

I definitely need to go see a therapist though, but I get so frustrated and tired after work that I don't even wanna go out or do shit. I'd rather just be at home alone again and go back to work later so I could shop around and then go to asleep 😴

I'm so drained rn and I gotta go to my parents so I can be there for Thanksgiving.

Then right back here to my apartment on Friday but then I gotta work right after I get home.

Like damn can I get a full day's rest.

I don't even wanna dress nice or get cute, but at the same time I do cause it's been a month since I wore makeup really and got freshened up like a girly girl.

But often I've been tomboying it for work and I get tired and hungry so there's no time to do it.

Even my hair I get stressed out about or if I just miss one day from washing my face cause it's that much of a crunch to leave the house, get an uber or a lyft to the nearest stop instead of walking 45mins in the cold.

Then I gotta wait but pay attention to see if the actual bus is still on its way or if it's delayed and if it is I gotta call customer service just so I can prearrange another uber to get me to my next stop and I just started leaving 2hrs earlier in case those sorry fucks actually do have a bus that didn't show and I can wait outside for a whole nother hour or go shopping to the closest store to stay warm.

Yes it's alot of stress revolving around leaving. But thank God my aunty said I could have my other grandma's car, I'd just have to pay for maintenance which could be near 200-300 dollars depending on what needs to be fixed. Also I got drivers Ed, now that's a whole nother story since technically my pay is gonna be short January and February due to me starting this office job.

Which is why I'm so scared to even spend any money on me like I was before because I gotta be patient for the biweekly checks instead of the weekly ones from Amazon.

The training pay is ok, but after I pass the training tests it goes up to be more than what I'm making now and I'll be working on carpet and THANK GOD NO MORE SLEEP DEPRIVATION 🙏 back to 8-10hrs of sleep 😇

I never thought I missed sleep so bad, but I actually do. I function alot smoother, kinder, less babyish,and less short of a tempur or ptsd reactions because I noticed I'm drained after coming to work having to manage the inconsistencies of the bus routes that I'm living near now.

I ride 3hrs to and from and it's 3 different buses. So if one miss or is late, I'm behind schedule already.

I hate leaving 2hrs earlier than I would if I stayed with my parents but shit the area is nicer, there's plenty of more restaurants and stores nearby that I can walk to from the apartment or just go by bus. Also I love living with my roommate and their dogs because it's like when he's here (their ftm) I'm a big softie around the pups and they're so freaking huge and tall with softvwhite fur. And I like that I get along with him too, we watch Netflix and anime sometimes. And even today I made him an omelet with bacon, cheese, and Kale and I bought us a pumpkin pie for later on.

Last night we shared the special LGBT Pride Wine that was Sparkling Sweet Rosé flavor. It was so pretty and it actually did taste sweet, no dry bitter ends like most Rosé wines I've had.

I made me a mimosa with it this morning. So good.

L bought me Chicken Alfredo since we both had a pasta craving. I just like that we can help each other out and I can help him take out the dogs to go potty.

I can't believe how amazing this feels to say I don't have a crush on my roommate and we can bros. Because I used to be so worried about that since I wasn't finding anyone else to talk to on the dating apps as far as girls.

But L he's definitely a good bro. No weird shit. Not even checking each other out or looking at each other's chest or bodies. Nothing out of the platonic sanctum.

Minus last night, but I think it was the wine mixed with me feeling alone after noticing that my ex sex buddy/friend lied about something serious like that.

It was ironic how loose and switched I was. Where one side was platonic, and the other was like no, don't look.at him that way you're just hungry for attention, so I fell asleep on the couch right after and then L woke me and Said you sleep, you should go to bed and we laughed. Cause we were in the middle of just watching our show lol Young Royals on Netflix 😆

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newscheckz · 3 years

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MEN GOLDEN BREAST (PART SIX)

New Post has been published on https://newscheckz.com/men-golden-breast-part-six/

MEN GOLDEN BREAST (PART SIX)

……………..CONTINUATION OF PART FIVE.

#THIS IS MY TRUE STORY,,,,

Admin, it is at this point when i came to realize some of these shemales are just men who failed to get rid of their breast and that’s why they have a fully functional and normal dick but also have breasts as well.

I was not only after a kiss but also determined to have my day and make love to her so as to make sure that our love journey have kicked off.

I did not struggle much and after some deep kissing; she was lost in happiness as i caressed her all the sensitive body parts: where finally I managed to land my hands in her pant and begin romancing her pussy.

She was wet already and decided not to waste any valuable time as she was ready to eat. I removed her blouse that she had and then proceeded to the skirt and she was now left with her under pants only.

For me, i had only my sport short pant but no underwear and I had a baggy sport vest. I removed her underwear as i also removed my short sport pant but did not remove my top baggy sport vest.

I again started caressing her while kissing her deep, till we were all in the mood of sex, and i finally slided my dick inside her pussy.

She was sweet as i pushed my dick inside slowly while she was moaning. She was not virgin but i didn’t care as my only wish was to have her. I had finally done it.

She was now mine after a few minutes of pumping we both released and cum at same time, it was a good moment. She then requested to go as she would be late. I showed her way to bathroom for shower and then prepare herself to leave.

She bid goodbye to the rest and i escorted her to get a matatu back to her home… We lived in different towns.

That was our beginning of our long-term relationship that proceeded well as we met several times after that, and finally got married in 2010. After several years later of our relationship.

To me, it was love at first sight and finally I had got the one who had true love for me and never bothered about my condition even after discovering my little secret, she just ignored and concentrated on the relationship.

She however one time decided to ask me why one of my breasts is bigger than the other, and i was just honest, explained to her the situation how it happened, and that it is a rare situation in men but he should not worry as it will soon come to an end since i was working on it to get rid of it.

I know there are men who are facing this condition just like me though in different scenarios..

When i got married to her, i would still find some time alone while she was not home to crush my tit as she had train in early childhood education and she worked as nursery teacher. At this point of time, the remaining breast had decreased too much in size.

In 2011, i got a job in the gulf countries, this is after my services as an accounts assistant were terminated and had been jobless for almost 1year.

The opportunity came to me as new door being opened for me. My financial status was completely grounded.

There were several things to do before traveling and all needed money, but because God was opening the new chapter for me, i managed to overcome every challenge with the help my family and few good friends who stood by me during my difficult times.

When traveling to the gulf countries, usually there is a medical test that the travel agency will need you to perform to ascertain your health status before proceeding with the Visa process.

I didn’t have any problem with my health as i knew I’m perfectly ok. But my only worry was my left breast, though it had reduced in size, it was still not looking normal for a man and i couldn’t take off my shirt In front of other people.

I did not discourage myself, i paid for the medical test. I was then scheduled for the test in one hospital within our city which i attended.

At the hospital,l i met the representative of our agent who had a list of those who were attending the medical.

When all people arrived we were directed to a waiting room where we were supposed to wait and only go in the testing room when your name is called.

One by one, we were called in. My turn also came to go in. The first test was a blood test. They took my blood sample for testing, then i was given two small bottles to bring my urine and stool for sampling.

I was then told to proceed to another room for chest x-ray where i was told to take off my shirt and was given an apron to wear and cover my chest.

After the x-ray we were to stay and wait for our medical results before going home.

When the test results were out after about 2hrs later, we were again called one by one to get our results from the Dr. in charge.

All my results were perfect except for the x-ray which revealed i had a swollen mass on my left side breast.

The Dr. inquired from me about the condition and i explained to him. He then made a final report that I was fit to travel and also put the remarks of my breast mass on the left side but because it was not a disease, this could not make someone not to go to work. I was cleared.

I went home a happy man and explained to my wife about the whole issue and also told her that now i was fit to travel.

She was excited by the whole issue but also sad on the other side as she have to wait for 2yrs before we can meet again after I travel.

Working in the gulf is another challenge for couples especially for young couples, who are still enjoying their new marriage time.

But i had no option since i had try all means to secure a job locally but was not lucky for the past 1year.

Two weeks later after my medical test, i received a call from my agent that my Visa was ready and have to clear my balance for the agency fees/ Visa Commission to get my ticket as soon as possible.

I contacted my Dad who was my main helper on the issue and helped me raise the required amount. After 3 days, i paid the full amount.

3 days later my flight ticket was ready and was informed that i can download from my email both ticket and Visa and had 3 days to prepare and travel to Nairobi Jomo Kenyatta International Airport where we were to board our flight to Dubai.

On my preparation, i did not forget my crushing sticks. I carried them along with me so that i would not stop crushing till i completely get rid of the breast.

When traveling, i was in the company of other 7 guys so we were 8 people in total.

When we landed in Dubai, it was almost 24.00hrs midnight and someone was there to pick us from the airport to our destined accommodation.

After about an hour drive, we were at the company accommodation where we were received by the management in charge and shown to our rooms.

One single room accommodated six people with 3 double deckers and since it was midnight we went straight to bed and sleep.

We were waken up at around 6am to go for our tea as breakfast hours were to close by 7am. After breakfast we were called to the accommodation management Office where we were allocated our new company employment numbers that we should use for any company communication and queries.

We were also given food coupons which we will use to get food from the company mess for breakfast, lunch and dinner for full month.

The food coupon is given for monthly basis and without a coupon you can’t get food. We were then allowed to go back to our rooms and rest.

In the evening we were called again and informed that our medical test is scheduled for the next day so we have to be ready and report to the office by 7am…the next day.

I was again worried of my condition and hoped that it will not be a barrier for me to take my new job.

Same test like which we did in Kenya was conducted on us all, but we were not to wait for our results as they are directly sent to your employer or sponsor of the test.

However, my test turned out to be fine and the next day we were scheduled for our induction of the company in head office of the company.

We were therefore told to get ready the next day by 7am to go to head office for induction.

The next morning after breakfast, we headed to the head office and we were taken to a boardroom where the induction was to be conducted.

The induction was in English. So it was not an issue to me where we were given a briefing on few things about the company, management, where to get help and our work related issues.

We were also given a general test on English where we were to answer 50 general questions for 15 minutes and also given a title about something to write a composition.

I received a tilted to write about my pet. To me, it was not a big deal and i scored excellent marks.

After that induction, the next to follow was to be deployed to our work area where we were supposed to undergo another training of 3 days before we can fully begin our duties.

The job was not a well-paying but because we Kenyans lack good job opportunities back home, we are left with no options.

Sometimes i used to ask myself if I’m the same accountant who was now exposed to manual work which best qualified for a standard 8 pupil or a form 4 drop-out; but alaas! There i was with all my qualifications but have to bend and do it.

Sometimes i would be supervised by a person especially the Asians who even can’t construct a good sentence in English grammar and i would just look at him, without any comment because he is my senior by position. i just accept the situation and move on.

During my stay in the gulf, i tried several places to secure a good job of my status but was not lucky to get one even after attending several open interviews and online applications.

During my 2 years of stay in the gulf, i used to continue with my crushing since i could get enough time to do the exercise.

I also joined a gym session so as to build my muscles and strong chest and try to hide the breast under the muscles, which did work properly for me to bring my chest in good shape.

Gradually the breast reduced at a great speed such that by the end of the 2years, my chest was completely okay and well built.

This time, i could stand on a mirror and look at myself and see a man In front of me standing with a well-built muscle chest. I was happy for myself as my efforts had finally bear the fruits i was longing to see.

After the end of my 2 years contract, i terminated my contract and decided to go back home and look for a better opportunity.

Reaching home, my wife could notice the challenges in me and she was so happy to see a well-built man in her arms; now without any defect on his body but just a handsome man.

Though my struggle was tough and challenging i finally managed to yield what I wanted.

My advice to all parents, especially the father, watch your boys as they turn to adolescence so that if you notice him with such condition and he have no Idea what to do please guide him, help him get rid of the tits at the earliest stages possible. For the boys who don’t get this problem of Gynecomastia, they have nothing to worry as they are fine.

For the single mothers in this platform you can also observe your boys as they grow up to adolescence stage and see if they get this condition.

You can as well tell him to get rid of them by crushing the tits at the earliest stages possible to avoid embarrassment in future.

It will be disturbing to both you and your child being in such condition where he will have to live with it for the rest of his life and would be man with breasts.

Some boys get help from friends or older relatives who help to show them how they can wipe out the tits at an earlier stage when they begin to grow on their chest..

From this experience i came to understand why we have shemales, as men can also grow breast just like women yet they have a fully functioning penis.

Those who have money, can undergo a surgery and have the breast tissues removed. But if your family can’t afford it, you will have to go it the hard way or live with the embarrassment all your life.

Recently, i saw an interview by a certain blog on the same condition for a boy whose mother was appealing for financial help to have her boy undergo a surgery to get rid of the problem so that he can pursue his dreams of becoming an international footballer.

Thank you for reading my life story. I hope it will help someone else with same condition or escape the condition in future.

That’s My Side of The Story. #THE END

#THIS IS MY TRUE STORY,,,,

#MEN GOLDEN BREAST (PART SIX)

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