#all things asexual

[eosofspades]

i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues

#oh the experience of being 13 years old and seeing all my friends talking about wanting to have sex and obsessing over it #and being like 'we are all literally WAY too young to be having sex what the actual fuck are you talking about #why are you even considering it when we have much more important things to worry about. like how much middle school sucks' #you know what though. i still stand by this. that was an entirely reasonable thought to have and i WAS being normal about it #anyway #mine #asexuality

[uncanny-tranny]

Amatonormativity has destroyed so many people's understanding and acceptance of themselves, and it's heartbreaking.

Yes, it is normal to be in your 20s, 30s, or older and not have lost your virginity, had a first kiss, or a partner. It is normal to say that you aren't ready for those things, too! It is normal if your life doesn't follow the "college graduate -> engagement -> buying a home -> 2.5 kids and a dog" trajectory that so many people have idealized.

So many people associate maturity with losing your virginity, or having a first kiss, or a serious relationship, and I think that's a dangerous association. Maturity isn't gained through those things, and you don't have to have those experiences to be considered "mature" or "grown." It is not a bad thing to go at your pace. Nobody else can live your life but you. If you end up having those experiences, that's great! But it should be done because you want to experience them, not because you feel "broken" and "immature" without them.

#amatonormativity #ask to tag (genuine) #i honestly *wish* conversations like this were things i was exposed to when i was younger... #...maybe then i'd've felt less of a need to surpress my aromanticism and asexuality... #...the feeling of brokenness still trails behind me sometimes because so many of us are taught that this all WILL happen... #...we WILL fall in love. we WILL have a nuclear family. we WILL be satisfied with this... #...and that this is the IDEAL for cishet patriarchal structures... #...and that /any/ deviation to the SLIGHTEST degree is that fault of the *individual*. who WOULDN'T want this life? #there's this idea like i said that maturity is gained as you almost... adhere to expectations... #...and that's genuinely dangerous to associate maturity with that and i hope you can fill in those gaps because it can get dark fast

[scarlct-vvitch]

i know i attract more ace followers than anything else lmao so y'all better show up for this one

#i dont really think i would but i am also aro which changes things lol #but i didnt include romance in this #anyway im always curious abt the ace spectrum #it fascinates me #mostly bc i dont understand it at all and yet i am on it #the struggle #ace #asexuality #asexual #ace spectrum #lgbtqia #polls #i like making polls way too much

[desperatecheesecubes]

Growing up asexual is actually so funny because all of a sudden people all around are like ‘oh my god what if I don’t know how to kiss??? I have to practice!’ And start doing unhinged things and the whole time you’re like

#mine #asexuality #and also the wanting to get with someone thing #and also to an extent the wanting a romantic relationship et all but I haven’t decided if I’m aromantic or Demi romantic soooo #i can’t believe y’all got this to 1K #oh good lord now it’s at 1.5k #holy fuck we’re at 2K #I’ve really loved reading everyone’s ace experiences #very comforting to remember I’m not alone

[deadliestpieceontheboard]

I don't think younger/newer users fully grasp the shit show that ace discourse was around 2014-17

It was so hostile that, to this day, discussions that begin to derail just enough can make me physically nauseous, some specific mockery trigger crying sessions years later. We lost most accounts with any sort of ace positivity. There was no information, no support, and all this damage was done predominantly by other queer people.

All this to say that you, however you identify yourself, should be engaging with aphobic comments the same way you do any hate. We don't sugarcoat or try to be comprehensive with people who are blatantly racist, homophobic or terfs, so why give it a pass just because it's coming from a queer person? I see how this tolerance goes and it's done enough damage as it is.

#might delete later #just felt frustrated about how even ourselves interact with hate #i'm all in for helping explain things #but people are way too comfortable qith being ignorant and we let them #ace discourse #aroace #asexuality #ace positivity #aro positivity #aromantism #aromantic

[shmaroace]

amatonormativity isn't something that affects only aro people. it affects all people, aspec or not, queer or not. you can be cishetallo and still be affected by amatonormativity because you're told that being single is bad. amatonormativity isn't a new queer buzzword made for a select few people, it's an actual societal assumption that affects everyone.

#literally fuck amatonormativity all my homies hate amatonormativity #it assumes everyone should have a monogamous long-term relationship #even cishetallo people sometimes don't want monogamous long-term relationships it's not just an aro thing #also when it's combined with heteronormativity and allonormativity well goddamn #aro #aromantic #arospec #ace #asexual #acespec #aroace #aspec #amatonormativity #queer #lgbtq #fuck amatonormativity #1k #2k #3k #4k #5k

[bored-boring-and-tired]

me currently:

“i want people to have crushes on me so badly because i thrive on external validation and im super insecure so i really really want people to have crushes on me”

also me, being aroace and sex/romance-repulsed (if someone has a crush on me):

“pleasepleasepleaseplease nobody have a crush on me and ESPECIALLY DONT TELL ME because then i have to reject you and i hate rejecting people and then i’ll probably have to come out to avoid hurting anyone because i overthink everything ahahahha”

#i hope someone finds this relatable (aka hopefully it isnt just me but i also hope other people don’t have to go through internal conflict) #because this is me all the time #aroace #asexual #aromantic #aro #ace #aromantic asexual #asexual aromantic #aromanticism #asexuality #crushes #romance repulsed #sex repulsed #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtqplus #lgbtqia+ #rare times when astra actually tags things?? whaaaaat?? 😦

[little-smartass]

I have a theory I'm testing out re: being ace + gender

#asexuality #literally ALL of my ace friends + I feel the same and I want to know if it's An Ace Thing #irl

[unorthodox-soundwave]

Gotten a couple follows from porn bots and similar accounts recently, so a quick reminder:

EDIT: Would you believe that this post was made a couple months before the actual invasion began?

#i love this gif so much #asexual #ace #out of all things #this is the post that goes big??

[addhellandcurse]

you and your speech patterns girl. references even

#good omens #all their interactions are insane actually not even the 'my dear' parts #like thinking about two supernatural entities discussing free will for YEARS makes me sob and throw things #just sitting here and talking #asexual goals you agree huh

[em0-opossum]

"can I be [x gender] if I..." "can I still call myself [x term] if..." yes. yes. if you like the term then use it. do whatever you want forever. labels are just little words we use to categorize our infinitely complex existential experiences on this floating rock !! no two people who use the same label are going to experience it the same way and that's the beauty of it !! use "contradictory" labels, use labels that don't make sense to anyone, change your label every day or not at all, explore anything and everything, use no labels at all or every label under the sun, confuse people or correct them or let them assume things rather than explaining, I promise nothing other people think about your identity is worth your happiness !!

#ofc there are some situations where this does not apply (ex: terms connected to a specific culture or race such as 2 spirit) #but in general people need to be more chill about labels #lesbian #nonbinary #bigender #lgbtq+ #gay #trans #multigender #trans joy #asexual #aromantic #bisexual #queer #demiboy #demigirl #2 spirit #pansexual #demisexual #too tired to tag all the genders and sexualities and other things i can think of but yeah

[toytulini]

listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.

yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?

maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".

get a better joke

#toy txt post #god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones #let it flop..........pls #internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop #i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having #1 million bajillion disclaimers #virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word #disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word #grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used #to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023 #and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like #im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild #i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good' #like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you #but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches' #'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay #god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil #but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful #and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like #hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine #and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr #and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like #and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay #its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat #? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty? #you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right #stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny #whatever #if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll #i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2015.

[redysetdare]

I'm an "AroAce Stereotype" I'm Romance averse/Repulsed> I'm Sex repulsed I'm non-partnering I hate the idea of marriage in all forms I don't want a QPR at all I'm loveless I'm someone who gets uncomfortable at sexual talk and sex jokes I'm someone who often has innuendos or sexual concept fly over my head. I'm someone who can't tell when someone is flirting with me I'm someone who can't pick up on romantic or sexual tension I'm someone who finds "shipping" to be annoying I'm someone who says "They just seem like friends to me" I'm someone who believed that attraction could be turned on or off I'm someone who can't make sense of romance at all and cant figure out what makes it different from every other relationship. I'm someone who thinks romance is stupid and sex is gross and I don't understand the big deal everyone makes about it I'm someone who never was upset to find out I was AroAce but rather relieved as I have a genuine fear of being stuck in a romantic relationship that i do not want. In all cases I am not an AroAce who can be considered "normal" by the standards of allo society.

I'm not just a stereotype for you to shit on. I'm not the reason aphobes are aphobic I'm not a problem that you need to erase and refute to be accepted by allos. I'm not an experience that you and ignore as "not really how aspec people are" just because You are not part of it. Stop leaving us behind. Stop throwing us under the bus. We deserve support too. We deserve to not be demonized and shunned because we're an "stereotype". We are not the problem. We are not a problem to be fixed. start fighting aphobes on their logic instead of trying to make up for our existence.

#text #ace #aro #asexual #aromantic #aroace #arospec #acespec #aspec #mostly talking abt aroace experience because thats me #but this can go for other aspec identities too #aphobia #im just tired of other aspec people agreeing with the oppressors that certain experiences are wrong #and promising that THEY aren't like that THEY are normal and shouldn't be ridiculed #but never do anything to protect the rest of us from ridicule #because really they just want to protect their experience they dont care about the wider community #and it's frustrating #because we should all be supporting each other because thats how things get better #if we tell aphobes there are exceptions then suddenly all aspec people can become an exception #because they dont care about us being socially acceptable aspecs they care about us not being aspec period #they dont want us to exist because then they have to question their world view and that dont like doing that #so they'll play nice with the ones they can pretend are normal before they decide that you're not good enough either

[aroacewxs]

im not romance or sex repulsed, im romance and sex curious. romance and sex inquisitive. im a little scientist jotting down notes and connecting dots to dots in my head, trying to figure out this little puzzle that is attraction and romantic/sexual gestures because one of the worst things to me personally is feeling confused

#jay does a think #aromantic #asexual #actually aromantic #actually asexual #aroace #aspec #acespec #arospec #i go through ups and downs where i am just so fascinated by it all #or i think it's the grossest most unnecessary thing to ever exist #but altogether i feel like a spectator in any scenario i try to picture myself in #researching about it not to conform but to learn lol please don't get the wrong idea #anthropology is fascinating

[alevens]

zolu is maybe one of the easiest ships i've ever liked. they're dating, except when they're not, they're best friends even when they're kissing and they're still captain and first mate when they aren't. they hold hands, they hug. they have sex. they don't.

Luffy can hold Zoro's katanas and Zoro can hold Luffy's strawhat and no one bats an eye. one says "You're so cool!" and the other says "You're strong" and it's just another way to say "I see you, this is why I follow you/this is why I trust you". it's not seeing each other for a long time and still knowing how the other's steps sound like against wood and sand. the captain runs and the first mate follows. it's always "Zoro and the others" and "Where's Luffy?"

if they're just friends, if they're something more, if they don't have a label for it, at its core, it's just about how they get each other. they understand how the other's mind works. however you view them, it doesn't erase they fact that they love each other in a way they don't love other people.

#zolu #on why i love zolu #seeing the hate its gotten on its own tag #i figured i'd put it on my two cents #i am aroace and i do hc Luffy as aroace #the same for Zoro if i'm honest #but the thing about this hc is that not only it isn't canon #but is an actual spectrum #what really made me pause was that the argument was that zolu was an “icky” ship bc of how they viewed Luffy as aroace #i would have prefered they just said they hate the ship #it makes sense as i do too hate ships without reason sometimes #but it was how they seemed to view aromatic/asexual people that fucked me up #both orientations are spectrums #the way i see it and experience it isn't the same other people do #giving this label and then saying it only woks on one way is disrespectful to the many people that fall under this umbrella #it isn't as simple as saying “aromantic folks can't experience love” and “yeah ace folks all find sex disgusting” #everyone is different everyone has different views and it's about finding what fits *you* personally! #sorry for the rant on tags i just wanted to get it off my chest #i've seen more people explain it better and break it down more coherently #and i'm so so glad to see so many big brained people ready to communicate on why that take just wasn't it #one piece

[aromantic-diaries]

Idk if I've said this before but I feel like the bi to aro/ace pipeline wouldn't be half as common as it is if asexuality and aromanticism weren't forgotten all the time when it comes to discussing sexuality. I think it's funny to joke about it and seeing how it's something that so many people experience has definetly been helpful in making me feel less alone but sometimes I think about how I would have known I was aro and ace much sooner if I knew more about these identities like I did about bisexuality

#aro #aromantic #arospec #ace #asexual #acespec #of course i won't put all the blame on other people cause a lot of it was me just refusing to admit it #but then again my own denial was a result of being made to feel like it would make me incomplete #i probably would have known i was aro much sooner if someone told me it was a thing before i got amatonormativity brain poison #i knew it was unusual when everyone else seemed to have had at least one crush and i didn't