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#all this talk about time and existence tho
allthelovehes · 1 day
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Hardware Store Hookup*
Summary: Y/N just broke up with her boyfriend and kicked him out, she is redecorating her apartment and the guy who works at the hardware store just has something special to him.
Pairing: Harry x reader
Word count: 4.7K
Warnings: Smut!! Protected sex tho, oral female receiving, p in v.
Taglist: @justmystyles @bitchybabyharry @harrysslut7 @swiftmendeshoran @lucasandharold @harrysbabycherry @htaylor18 @rose-garden-dreamz @myalovesharry @mellamolayla @hsonlyangelxo @yousunshineyoutempter @heartateasee @blueheisenbergtragedy @bikestyles @bohemianrhapsody86 @cherrylovers-world @harrys-littlefreak Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist! 🤗
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A/N:  Ugh, these two are so cute and loving. Makes me wanna paint my house and find Harry at my hardware store.
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Setting down the last box of his belongings in the entryway of her apartment building. Y/N feels bittersweet. This building has been their home for the last two years, but the second she found out he cheated on her she was packing up all his shit and moving him out.
“I don't understand why you won't just listen to me! We can work this out!”
“I'm done talking to you, Michael.” She responds, her voice void of emotion. “The apartment is in my name, and I'm paying the bills, you're out.”
Michael huffs and walks around her as if he's going to leave, but turns around and comes right back. She can feel his eyes boring into her and her skin crawls. He's trying to play the victim and she can't stand it.
“Fine, you know what? Just... just fuck it, Y/N. I don't even want to live with you, you're an ugly bitch anyways. I can find someone prettier and younger to take care of me than some fat cow.”
“You're an asshole, Michael. I never want to see your face again.” She replies, opening the door and pointing outside.
“Fuck you!” He spits, picks up his boxes and leaves.
She watches as he gets into his truck and pulls out of the parking spot before she goes inside and closes the door. As soon as she locks it she collapses on the floor and bursts into tears. A year ago Michael was her knight in shining armour, her soulmate, the love of her life. Now she wants to erase his entire existence from her memory.
***
A couple of months pass and Y/N feels like it's finally time to transform their home into her own. The couch was a gift from her parents when they moved in together and it's not even comfortable. It's also stained and ratty and she's ready to get rid of it. She's browsing Pinterest when a couch catches her eye, it's white and has a tufted back. It looks beautiful, so she clicks on the website and begins filling her cart with things for her new interior.
Shipping the pieces takes quite some time as they get delivered by truck and they schedule an appointment with you to make sure you're home. Still, three more weeks until her furniture is supposed to be delivered, so she decides to make most of the time in between and visits the hardware store for some paint.
The hardware store is surprisingly quiet and she has the aisle to herself. There are dozens of different brands of paint and it's overwhelming, let's not even get started about all the different colour options. She has an idea in mind, something warm, inviting and calming. Something that feels like home.
“Can I help you?” A voice says behind her and she startles, almost dropping the cans of paint she picked out.
“Ah, yes! Please!” She chuckles, turning around and looking at the man behind her.
He's tall, very tall, and wearing a navy blue polo. He has a nametag, 'Harry' written across it. He's got curly, dark brown hair, and his face is handsome and symmetrical. The thing that stands out to her the most are his eyes, they're a soft green, almost grey and they remind her of the sea. His lips look soft and pouty and she can't stop staring.
“You seem lost.” Harry smirks.
“Yeah, a bit, actually.” She chuckles. “I need paint for my apartment and I don't really know how much I'm gonna need or where to start. I just wanna do my bedroom and the living room.”
“Well, first, let's start by picking out a colour. Do you have an idea of what you want?”
“Oh, um, yeah!” She smiles, grabbing her phone and showing him her Pinterest board. “Something like this.”
“Ah, I see. A warm colour, that's good. And what are you painting over?”
“Well, right now it's a cream colour.” She explains, following him through the aisles as he looks at paint cards.
“Okay, so we'll probably want to stick with a neutral colour for the living room, because the natural light changes a lot. Here.” He hands her a warm yellow coloured paint card, “This one would look great, it's warm and it will compliment the furniture.”
“I love it.”
“And your bedroom, we'll do something more daring, because that's more of a personal space.” Harry smirks at her. “I think something darker to add some mystery, but with a pop of colour would look great, like maybe a navy wall with a bright coloured accent piece.”
“I have a yellow throw I'm planning on using. That's good contrasting colour, right?”
“Yes! Exactly! You can use the yellow throw to really add some warmth, especially during winter, and the blue to contrast that and create some depth.”
“That sounds great.” She smiles, her excitement growing. Harry is charming and his excitement for her project is contagious. “I can't wait.”
“Let's head over to the paint mixer, yeah?”
They walk towards the back of the store, where the mixing area is located. During their walk Harry asks her what her more about the wall sizes so he knows how much she'll need. She tells him everything he needs to know and Harry gets to work. The heavy paint buckets cause his muscles to flex and his biceps bulge. He's definitely a looker and she can't help but blush and tries to turn her attention elsewhere.
“There we go.” He smiles. “Let's go get some painting supplies and we'll ring you up, yeah?”
“Perfect.”
“How are you planning on doing this?”
“Hm?”
“The painting.” He chuckles. “Are you planning on doing it yourself or are you hiring a painter?”
“Oh, I'll do it myself, it's only the two rooms, right? I can handle that.”
“You can, absolutely.” Harry grins. “You're brave. Most women hire painters to do that sort of thing, or their boyfriends.”
“Oh, well, I don't have a boyfriend. I guess I'm just doing this all myself.”
“That's admirable. I wish more women were like you, not afraid of getting their hands dirty. You're going to be fine.”
“I hope so.”
“Trust me, you'll do great. And if you need any advice you know where to find me. I'll be glad to help.”
“Thank you, Harry.” She says. Harry loves that she calls him by his name that she clearly read off his name tag. “I appreciate it.”
“It's my pleasure, darling. Let's get you checked out.” Harry gives her a small wink and they head to the counter. He helps her lift all the heavy items onto the conveyor belt so his colleague can scan them. He normally wouldn't give this much attention to a customer, but he's drawn to her, she's different.
Y/N notices him staring as they load her purchases onto the conveyor belt and it makes her blush. She can't help but look at him and the way his lips move as he talks. They look soft and she can't help but imagine what kissing him would be like.
“Will that be all, miss?” His colleague asks, snapping her out of her daydream.
“Um, yes. Yes, thank you.” She smiles, handing her her debit card.
“I'll bring these to your car.” Harry says, lifting two buckets of paint and carrying them outside.
“Oh, thank you!” She smiles, grabbing the other bucket and following him. She knows he's giving her some kind of special treatment as he shouldn't be doing this, but she isn't complaining. She's not complaining at all.
He sets down the buckets next to her car, and she unlocks the trunk so he can place them inside. He turns around and looks at her. He wants to say something, anything, to her, but he doesn't know what.
“Do you have a card or something? So I can contact you if I have any questions?” She speaks up, feeling brave.
“Oh, yeah, of course.” Harry grins, reaching behind him and pulling out a small note block. He scribbles down his name, phone number and writes hardware store employee underneath as if it's an official business card. He rips off the piece of paper and hands it over with a goofy grin on his face. “Here you go.”
“Thank you, Harry.” She chuckles. “I'm Y/N, by the way.”
“It's lovely to meet you, Y/N.”
“Likewise.” She grins. “Well, I have to get going. I still have to buy a few more things.”
“Of course.” He nods. “Good luck.”
“Thank you.” She smiles, getting into her car and driving off.
As soon as she's out of sight, Harry lets out a sigh and heads back into the hardware store.
“Hey, mate.” His colleague says. “What was that all about?”
“What was what about?”
“Don't act stupid. I've never seen you give special attention to a customer.”
“Shut up.” Harry chuckles, walking towards the back room. “It was nothing, I was just being nice.”
“Uhuh.”
Harry sighs, rolling his eyes as he starts to put away some equipment. He has no idea why he's so intrigued by her, she was just a normal customer, right? He thinks back to the way she blushed when he spoke, and the way she fiddled with her hands. Maybe he's just imagining things, but he's definitely got a soft spot for her. ***
She's spent the last few days painting the walls of her bedroom, as a darker colour needs multiple layers and drying times. It's finally time to paint the living room and she's excited. She's picked out the perfect colour and the weather is cooperating so she can leave the windows open.
She's put on her favourite music and has a cup of tea next to her as she paints. Her hair is up in a messy bun and she's wearing sweatpants and a sports bra. She's enjoying herself, and the room looks great so far. The colour is a bit darker than what she expected but she doesn't hate it. It's warm, and inviting and she's happy.
After a few hours her back and arms start hurting, so she decides to take a break. She grabs her phone and takes a picture of the wall and posts it in the family group chat.
She scrolls through her Instagram feed when she suddenly remembers the card that Harry gave her. She pulls it out of her pocket and enters his number in her contacts. She debates on whether or not she should send him a message, but decides to do it anyway.
Y/N Hey Harry, it's Y/N, the girl from the hardware store. I've finished my bedroom and I'm doing the living room now. The colour looks amazing, thanks again for helping me pick it out.
She sends the text and immediately puts her phone down. She can't believe she just did that. Did she sound desperate? Did she sound too eager? Is he going to reply? She's got no clue, and it's killing her.
“Get a grip, Y/N.” She whispers to herself. She shakes her head and grabs her cup of tea, taking a sip. She looks back at her wall and sighs, she's got a long day ahead of her.
The sun is slowly starting to set, and Y/N has just finished the wall. Her hair is still up in a bun and she's sweaty, but she's happy with the result. The walls look amazing, the colour is beautiful and she can't wait to show her parents tomorrow.
Her phone vibrates, and she grabs it to check the notification. It's a text from Harry.
Harry I'm so glad to hear that, love! I bet the colour looks lovely with the sun setting right now.
She can't believe he called her 'love' in a text, it's insane. He barely even knows her. But his message is sweet and cute and she's smiling like an idiot.
Y/N You'll have to come and check it out for yourself.
She stares at her phone screen for what feels like an eternity. She can't believe she just flirted with him. She's not even sure if he's single, and if he is, does he like her? He could be interested in someone else, or he could even be straight for all she knows.
Harry Are you inviting me over?
Y/N I'm not stopping you.
Her heart is pounding and her hands are shaking. She's definitely overstepping, but she's hoping it won't scare him off.
Harry I leave work in about 10 minutes. What's your address?
“Shit.”
Y/N Oh, it's 27B, Parkview Apartments.
Harry Be there in 20.
“Fuck!”
She can't believe he's actually coming over. She runs over to her bathroom and quickly brushes her hair and her teeth. Her apartment is a mess, and she's not wearing any makeup. She looks terrible and he's going to be here any second.
“Calm down.” She whispers to herself.
She walks out of the bathroom and starts cleaning up the living room. There are paint supplies everywhere, and she wants the place to look at least a little presentable.
A few minutes later she hears the doorbell and her heart almost leaps out of her chest.
“Coming!” She yells, rushing over to the front door and opening it.
“Hey.” Harry grins.
“Hi.” She smiles. “Please, come in.”
Harry steps inside and closes the door behind him. She looks stunning, despite the fact that she's wearing sweatpants and a messy bun, which makes him feel a little overdressed.
“Your apartment looks nice.”
“Thank you.” She replies, closing the window. “It's a bit of a mess right now, but I'm working on it.”
“Don't worry about it, I understand.”
“Um, would you like something to drink? Some water or beer or something?”
“A beer would be great, thanks.”
“Alright.” She nods, walking over to the fridge and pulling out two cold beers.
Harry sits down on the couch and watches her. She's got a few paint stains on her pants and her sports bra and he finds it endearing. He can tell that she's trying hard, and he's definitely charmed by her.
“Here you go.” She smiles, handing him a beer.
“Cheers.” He says, clinking his bottle against hers.
“To your apartment looking better than ever.”
“Cheers.” She smiles. “And to the man who helped make that possible.”
They both take a sip and stare at each other for a few seconds. Y/N has a feeling that something might happen, but she's not sure if it's the right thing.
“So.” Harry starts, clearing his throat. “What are you going to do now that the painting is done?”
“Oh, well, I'm still planning on doing a few other things.”
“Yeah?”
“Mhm. I've ordered a new couch, and I'm thinking of getting a new rug.” She answers before Harry moves closer to her.
“So, you don't mind getting this couch a little dirty?” He asks her. Harry is blunt, but he feels the way she's looking at her. It's almost as if she's undressing him with her eyes, he can see the desire sparkling in them.
“Dirty how?”
“You know what I mean, love.” Harry smirks, taking another swig from his beer. Y/N doesn't know what has gotten into her. Normally she's not like this, not at all, but she wants him, badly. She's been craving him since the moment she saw him, and she's tired of denying herself.
“Yes.” She whispers. Harry doesn't reply, instead, he leans in and captures her lips with his own. The kiss is intense, full of lust and hunger. Y/N has been waiting for this and she's not going to waste the opportunity. The last couple of months with Michael have been stale, she's been missing this exciting feeling deep within her.
Harry pulls her closer and kisses her harder, his hands wandering over her body. Y/N moans into the kiss and straddles him. He grabs her hips and pushes her down on him, creating delicious friction between them. Y/N can feel him growing harder and his bulge pressing against her core. She wants him, and she wants him now. Harry breaks the kiss, and Y/N whimpers at the loss.
“You're a very good kisser.” He murmurs. “Are you always this good, or am I just lucky?”
“I don't know, maybe you're just lucky.” She teases, grinding down on his cock.
“Mmm.” Harry hums, leaning forward and kissing her again. This time, the kiss is even more passionate. Y/N wraps her arms around his neck and deepens the kiss, running her fingers through his hair. She pulls on it and Harry groans, his hands moving to her ass and squeezing it.
“Fuck, you feel good.” He mutters against her lips, squeezing her ass again.
“You too.” She mumbles, leaning down and kissing his neck. Harry groans as she starts sucking on his skin, leaving a trail of love bites. He knows that they'll be visible tomorrow and that his colleagues will have a field day. But he doesn't care, he loves it. He loves the fact that he's been claimed by her.
He spins her full body around in his lap, so her back is flush against his chest and his face is buried in the crook of her neck. His hands move up her stomach and under her sports bra. He cups her breasts and pinches her nipples between his fingers, making her whimper.
“You're so beautiful.” He mumbles, his lips pressed against her neck. She places her hands on his knees and grinds down on his cock, loving the feeling of him underneath her.
“Fuck.” Harry groans, thrusting his hips up, meeting her movements. “You're so fucking hot, you know that?”
“I'm aware of the effect I have on you.”
“Oh yeah?” He smirks, pulling her hair and forcing her to expose her neck.
“Yeah.” She reaches behind her to unclasp her sports bra and lets it fall to the floor.
“Fuck, look at you.” Harry grunts, grabbing her breast and squeezing it. Y/N throws her head back and moans. “Look at these perfect tits.”
He continues to massage her breast, teasing her nipples between his thumbs and forefingers. Y/N arches her back, pushing her breast further into his hand.
“That feels so good.” She whines.
“Mhm.” He hums, licking a stripe up her neck. He loves the way her skin tastes, sweet and salty. He can't get enough. He sucks on her earlobe, one of his hands sliding down her body and slipping into her pants. He finds her clit, and two of his fingers circle it, making her gasp.
“Oh god.”
“Do you like that?” He asks her, continuing his movements because he already knows the answer.
“Yes.”
“You're so wet, baby.” Harry smirks
“Mmm.” She whimpers, grinding her hips into his fingers.
“I can't wait to be inside you.” He growls, his fingers dipping lower and sliding into her.
“Fuck.” She hisses, her nails digging into his legs.
“That's it, baby, let me hear you.” Harry grunts, pumping his fingers in and out of her. He curls them and hits the perfect spot, making her cry out in pleasure. Her walls are spongey and tight around him, making him impatient. But the thought of feeling her come all over his hand is more than enough for him to keep focussed. He wants her to leak all over his hand, to make a mess for him and only him.
“Oh fuck, please, more.” She whines, her thighs trembling. She's never felt this way before, the way he touches her, the way he makes her feel is intoxicating. She loves how she's still half-clothed, and yet, he's managed to make her feel exposed. She's not ashamed of the noises she's making, but she's definitely enjoying the way he's making her feel.
“More what, baby?” Harry asks, his lips grazing her ear moaning softly to send shivers running down her spine.
“More of you.”
“Oh, I'll give you more, baby. Just be patient.”
“Yes.” She cries out, feeling her orgasm approaching. She knows it's close, and she wants it, badly. Her hips start grinding down on his hand, her movements becoming faster and less controlled. Harry continues to pump his fingers into her, his thumb rubbing her clit, making her body shake.
“Oh, fuck.” She gasps, her walls tightening around him. She comes, squirting all over his hand. Harry moans, his dick twitching as he feels her squirt.
“Holy fuck.” Harry moans, watching the mess she's made. “That's so fucking hot.”
“Harry...”
“Mmm.” He hums, as he picks her up and roughly lies her down on her back. He grabs the waistband of her now completely soaked sweatpants and pull them down her legs, throwing them to the side. He does the same with her panties. He gets rid of his own shirt, revealing his toned body. Y/N is taken aback, he's got some tattoos, which is not something she expected. But it suits him, and it's hot.
“Look at you, such a pretty pussy.” He hums, admiring her dripping wet cunt. She's glistening and his mouth waters at the sight.
“Stop staring.” She chuckles.
“Oh, I'm sorry.” He laughs. “Would you prefer if I did this?”
“Do what- fuck!” Y/N exclaims, as Harry suddenly leans down and sucks her clit between his lips. He places his big hands on the inside of her thighs to keep her legs nice and open for him. He is relentless, his tongue licking a strip up her cunt, making her squirm and cry out. He laps up her juices, enjoying every second of it.
“Fuck, Harry!”
“That's it, baby.” Harry groans, sending vibrations through her body. She's gripping the couch, her knuckles turning white. It's an overwhelming feeling to have him eat her out so eagerly right after she came all over his hand. She doesn't know how much more she can take.
When she first met him, she never would have guessed Harry would have been this skilled. The way his tongue moves along her pussy, his lips sucking and licking her clit and the way his fingers dig into her thighs is making her dizzy. She knows she's going to come soon, and she's not sure if she's ready for that.
“Mmhmm, yes.” She moans, her back arching. She grabs a fistful of his hair and holds on to it, pushing his head further down. He takes it as a sign and doubles his efforts, his tongue moving even faster and deeper.
“Oh fuck, yes, right there!” She cries out, her toes curling as her orgasm hits her. It's intense and makes her see stars. Her whole body trembles as her muscles contract, and her mind goes blank.
“Jesus, you taste so good.” Harry groans, as he carefully licks her clean. He gets up and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. Harry catches his breath and he looks down at the sweet girl in front of him. She is completely wrecked, and he's not even done with her yet.
“You okay?”
“Mhm.”
“Good.” He smiles, standing up and removing his pants and boxers. His cock is hard and leaking precum. He's long and thick, and Y/N can't wait to have it inside of her.
“Fuck.” She mumbles at the sight, a bit too loud. She's certain Harry heard her even though she didn't intend for him to hear it.
“What's that, love?” Harry grins, his cock throbbing.
“Nothing.”
“No, I want to hear you say it.” He insists, his eyes locked on hers.
“You're big.”
“Yeah?”
“And hard.”
“For you.”
“Fuck me.”
��Your wish is my command, love.” Harry laughs. He grabs his wallet from his pants and pulls out a condom, ripping the package open and sliding the condom down his shaft.
“Come here.” She tells him. He obeys and walks towards her, getting down on his knees in front of the couch. He leans forward and kisses her passionately, his hands cupping her face. He slowly pulls away, his eyes locking with hers.
“You're beautiful.” He murmurs.
“I bet you say that to all the girls who need help at the hardware store.” She teases.
“Oh, shut up.” He laughs, kissing her again. He positions himself, his tip pressing against her entrance. He can't wait to feel her, to be inside of her. Y/N's breathing heavily, her heart racing. He teases her by slowly pushing his tip up and down her folds before slowly pushing it into her. Just the tiniest bit to make her all needy and whiney.
“Please.”
“Patience, baby.” He whispers, his lips inches from hers. He keeps teasing her, his tip rubbing her clit. Y/N moans and her hips buck, trying to get him to push his dick inside of her. But he makes sure to not give in to her desires just yet. He pushes back into her, a little bit further this time, his tip disappearing inside her. But he doesn't go any further, and Y/N lets out a frustrated grunt.
“What's the matter, love?” He smirks, his hand slowly trailing up her stomach and resting on her breast. As he rubs his cock on her clit, his hand squeezes her breast and he starts sucking on her neck.
“You know exactly what's wrong, you fucking tease.”
“Oh, do I?” He chuckles, his hand squeezing her breast again, this time a little bit rougher.
“Yes.” She moans, arching her back. “Please, Harry, stop teasing me.”
“Alright.” He whispers, his lips brushing against her ear. He slowly thrusts into her, filling her up completely. He stills his hips, letting her adjust to his size. She moans, her hands resting on his hips, urging him to move. He complies and begins to rock his hips, pulling almost all the way out before pushing back in.
“Fuck.” Harry groans, his pace increasing. Y/N's walls tighten around him and her nails dig into his hips, as she tries to pull him even deeper.
“That's it, baby.” He growls, his cock sliding in and out of her easily. “You feel so good, baby. So fucking good.”
“You're so big.” She gasps, her eyes closed and her mouth agape. He groans, his hips slamming into her. His fingers find her clit, and he starts rubbing her. Y/N whimpers, her toes curling as his fingers and his cock bring her closer to the edge.
“Yes, baby.” Harry grunts, his free hand cupping her breast, his fingers tweaking her nipple. It's sending sparks of pleasure throughout her body.
“Oh god, fuck!” Y/N moans, her hips bucking, and her walls tightening around him. “Fuck, I'm gonna come.”
“Oh, baby.” He whispers, his voice dripping with lust.
“Shit.” Y/N gasps, her eyes flying open as her third orgasm washes over her. Her whole body is trembling, her muscles contracting. Harry feels her clench around his cock, and he knows that it won't be long before he comes too.
“Fuck.” He grunts, his thrusts getting sloppier. He curses under his breath as he pulls his cock out of her. He quickly rips the condom off and strokes his cock, coming all over her stomach.
“Fuck.”
They're both catching their breaths, both still riding their high. They look at each other and share a laugh.
“I've made a mess.”
“It's okay, my couch was a mess to begin with. We just made it messier.”
“Fair point.” He chuckles, leaning in and kissing her. “This was...fun.”
“Yeah, it was.” She says, her fingers running through his curls.
“How about we go and get cleaned up in the shower and then we can have a proper drink?”
“Sounds perfect.”
Y/N's never had a one-night stand like this. Normally they are rushed and messy. This was different. It was sensual, erotic, and passionate. And she didn't feel bad about it. It felt natural like she was meant to do this. Like she was supposed to have a fling with the hot guy at the hardware store. She's never believed in fate, but maybe this is what it feels like.
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rayshippouuchiha · 3 days
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Had a Thought™ about KHR. (excuse spelling mistakes because I WILL be making them)
So the giglio Nero family canonically has the strongest skies right? Like this matrilineal family of Skies has, as far as we know, always held the strongest skies in existence. It doesn't matter who they have a kid with, their first kid is 1) always a girl (far as we know) 2) an insanely strong sky 3) has some type of foresight.
So my thought (story idea/premise IG). Nana is descended from this family in some probably convoluted distant way. This could explain her space cadet behavior. She is LITERALLY not mentally present in the, well present. But she's enough removed from the family line that what she's seeing is probably really confusing and has little resemblance to reality. Also, let's be honest, if you're seeing visions of an alternate or possible future existence and aren't aware what that is about? You probably think there's something wrong with you. To the point you probably instinctively disregard A LOT of things that would be odd or concerning because well, they don't make sense so are probably made up. (Nana basically taking masking to the extreme meaning she doesn't notice/pay attention to the Flame and Mafia stuff because nobody else around her notices/talks about it. So it's probably Not Real)
And then she meets Iemeitsu. Who let's be honest, also has something DEEPLY wrong with him. ( A sky with no guardians? When that's what they DO?! Something is wrong with him on a literal soul deep level.) But he just acts like a mildly eccentric goofy guy, who otherwise is Normal™. So Nana gets attached to him, because she sees something similar in him. And she ignores anything pretty obviously WRONG because well, it's not REAL is it? She's just seeing things again. Plus of course Iemeitsu can't act Normal™ all the time, SHE struggles with that and that's something else she feels they have in common. (Very much modeling the fact that neurodivergent people tend to gravitate towards each other, and ignore stuff that's 'not normal', because for them normal isn't a thing that exists.)
And then they have Tsuna. An insanely powerful Sky child (I think there's mention of him possibly being the future sky acrobaleno at some point? Might just be fanon tho) who from a pretty young age has Hyper-Intuition.
Nana probably assumes her son has inherited her problems regarding seeing non-existent things. She probably ignores the general weirdness of Iemeitsu bringing his boss home and her son changing entirely after the visit, because she can't figure out a logical reason for Tsuna to change, so OBVIOUSLY there can't be anything wrong there, he's just going through a growth spurt!
Tsuna gets bullied in school? Well, so did Nana growing up. The fact the teachers are in on it? Not outside her perception of reality, because that's just how people treat those who are different, who can't 'Act Normal ™'. The problem of course here is that this behavior was Normal™. She was gaslit into believing this was expected and tacitly encouraged by society.
But, there's that little part that's still a mother, and doesn't understand WHY people act like this, and SURELY it's NOT Normal™ for people to treat her son like this!? It can't be reality! Right?! So obviously it's something ELSE her brain is making up, so something she should ignore entirely!
It would take ..... A LOT to have her come to terms with the fact that all that stuff she was convinced wasn't really happening, and just something else her brain was lying to her about, is actually reality. She's closed herself into a teeny tiny box of what she considers reality and anything outside of that obviously ISN'T.
ohoho now this is an interesting take on Nana that I've never seen before and it's so fucking cool
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prettyboykatsuki · 1 day
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how do you reconcile with writing smut about characters who are canonically minors? i’m not trying to attack you or try to change your mind or anything, so sorry if my question reads that way. i’m just genuinely curious 😭
no worries!! this is asked respectfully so i dont mind answering even tho i usually just delete stuff abt this now
idk really know how to answer your question i have not reiterated many times. but like. i want you to really consider your own way of asking this to me critically. like what would i have to "reconcile" with exactly? them being minors in canon?
for me personally there's nothing to reconcile with. i feel no guilt or shame or remorse about aging up characters. or just like wanting to fuck them. or really anything i write in fiction at all, point blank - should i choose to explore it. like there's not crime i've committed other than being horny about some shit i made up, upon the basis some shit another guy made up.
partially this is bc characters in fictions are concepts. they're objects, thoughts, ideas. no matter how brainrotted i am about them, they don't live in material reality. im not harming them because they don't exist. outside of my phone and computer they are not real. harrowing myself with guilt over something that does not even exist is kind of insane. this applies to everything.
you can feel personal discomfort over aging up for yourself, but the reality is no actual minors are harmed in the process of me writing porn about anime characters. bakugou is lines on paper. i am allowed to cut him out like a barbie doll and play with him however i like. he doesn't get a say in that because he is fake lol.
there's like idk. all sorts of nuance to this and if you are respectfully curious im happy to talk to you about it. but they're just not real. no one is hurt in me writing this. so it doesn't matter to me at all. i would never hurt another person because of what im interested in fictionally, either. i have spent too many years becoming a decent human being to wonder about that
nothing i do in the fictional space is of any relevance to who i am, except for what things might cause genuine harm to another living breathing person. i write a lot of dark content in my smut also but
a lot of my content also while being dark, does not specifically deal with sensitive social issues so no one is hurt in that way either. i have enough confidence in my critical understanding of the world to write what i do understand to my ability. i mostly write about noncon and dubcon and yandere, all of which are personal violations and not social ones (OVERSIMPLIFYING THERE A LOT). i sometimes do write about social taboos of course but not whats outside of my ability
all in all its like. i dont know what i'd feel guilty over. no one is hurt and i have no intent to harm. nothing matters outside of that
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allamericansbitch · 4 hours
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since y'all seemed to want this.... here's the live notes i took while listening to each song for the first time (bold are thoughts i had during later listens)
fortnight: 
‘i was a functioning alcohol till nobody noticed my new aesthetic’ what the fuck does that even mean…
love the fact she gave post the female collab treatment. don’t wanna hear what he has to say. 
they’re voices sound actually good together? 
some pockets of the melody are catchy
okay i don’t hate this 
ttpd:
her red flags are on fire in this song lol
this seems very half-cooked
also jacks weird mixing continues to plague us all
CHARLIE PUTH???? WHAT THE FUCK WHY HE HERE
tattooed golden retriever??? ……no way
my boy breaks all his favorite toys:
i blinked and it’s half over
this also is like… half cooked and didn’t need to be released tbh
i love the way she sings the second verse tho
down and:
the production does not match the vibe
did tpain produce this
i’m… kinda bored lol
like i have nothing to say this also didn’t need to be released tbh 
this grew on me a lot actually
so long london 
the production is so futuristic? 
oh im obsessed with how she sounds on this one
her talk-singing in the verses is great
honest lyrics without any clunky unnecessary metaphors! a win!!
the fast-paced verses with th slow chorus is really really cool
a favorite so far
daddy i love him
i can barely hear her? the bad mixing continues 
‘growing up precociously sometimes means not growing up at all’ oh yeah WE KNOW
is this…… is this about her dating matty and loving how people hate him… no fucking way she’s this stupid
SHE IS BEING THIS STUPID
‘it’s white noise’ yeah yeah that’s exactly how id describe him  
.... anyway y'all remember when fans really believed the little mermaid theory and this song was supposed to be about how 'joe stole her voice' lmaooo
we will pretend this one doesn't exist!
fresh out the slammer
are we getting another ‘i didn’t cheat technically’ song lol
what is this weird tempo change….
okay kinda catchy
it’s sounds exactly like you are in love at the end….. jack is really out of tricks
florida
‘my friends all smell like weed or little babies’ what the fuck is she even talking about anymore 
i’m sorry but i’m laughing at the phrase ‘fuck me up florida’
again the production sounds so detached from the vocals 
i honestly still have no idea how i feel about this one
guilt as sin
an real instrument?? wow crazy 
okay she’s kinda cute? catchy and fun, love the melody
i love when she goes up at the end of the vocal 
okay…. i don’t mind this one she’s catchy, a little too long and drawn out but cute
who’s afraid of little old me?
what is this production? it’s way too soft to be as threatening as they’re trying for 
why did jack push her vocals back so far when she’s supposed to scream…. that’s ruins the whole thing…. she’s supposed to be screaming and threatening….. not quiet and far away…. hello
this song is trying very hard to be threatening but it’s not... vigilante shit 2.0
‘you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum they raised me’…………… upper middle-class pennsylvania? 
‘i’m drunk on my own tears isn’t that what they all say, that’ll  sue you if you step on my lawn’ okay bar?
the bridge was good but that’s about it.
i can fix him 
…………… not another matty song oh god
‘i can handle a dangerous man’…… im too stunned to speak this is so embarrassing 
wow taylor really is that girl who like ‘women supporting women’ and then dates/defends a racist bf…. a walking example of white feminism
intersectional feminism found dead.... twice....
loml
okay this is really nice? 
I WAS ACTUALLY ENJOYING THE SONG WHY DID SHE RUIN IT BY SAYING ‘MR STEAL YOUR GIRL’ 💀
if we ignore that one line we're good this is good. im refusing to let that line ruin such a good song
i can do it with a broken heart
‘bitch smile’ why are there so many cringey lyrics on this album lol
what is this song omg why do i kind of like it 
taylor please learn depressed isn’t a synonym for sad 
they recycled the mastermind production 
wait till taylor finds out most of the entire world is sad while they're doing their job and has to pretend they're not
smallest man who ever lived 
oh i think i like this?
‘you said normal girls were boring’ GIRL AND YOU DIDNT IMMEDIATELY GET UP AND LEAVE??? EWWWW??? she's not beating the pick-me allegations
'i just wanna know if rusting my sparking summer was the goal' okay love that line
i like this a lot
the alchemy
no….. no way this is real
i cannot
THE SPORTS METAPHORS WE JOKED SHED DO THAT AND SHE ACTUALLY DID IT OH NO 
touchdown ✅ teams ✅ benches ✅ winning streak ✅ the league ✅
she’s doing…… the worst thing ever this is so laughable 
the corny lyrics are on overload 
‘this time it’s heroine with an e’ didn’t she write folklore? i can’t remember 
that literally was an snl parody of a taylor song
clara bow
love how the guitar sounds… bet money this is an aaron track 
a stevie nicks reference!! a win!!!
i like this one a lot no cringey lyrics yet
nope never mind she name-dropped herself don’t like that
overall really liked it tho
the black dog
i think i like it?? this is kind of what i expected the album to be
okay for once the weird production choices kind of pay off
imgonnagetyouback
kinda catchy? 
she loves a fancy car getting wrecked line
the pre-choruses are the best part 
this would’ve been better without the jack of it all bc he loves a song that doesnt build to anything
this just comes down to personal preference: i don’t like her lighter vocals with jack’s heavy production (ie most of lover lol)
the albatross
a real instrument!!! production that matches taylor’s voice and is well mixed!!! aaron’s arrived!! 
i think it’s solid, has good writing and she sounds great. that's about it.
chloe or sam or…
took me a solid minute to have any semblance of a fuck to know what was going on but okay
okay i love this one
wayyyy more emotive than like… most of the original album
a lot of the 2nd version (or whatever this is lol) are way more emotive, maybe because her voice isnt drenched in reverb so we can actually hear her voice emote better
how did it end
this sounds like an old school adele song? 
i love this one too…. 
her being upset people wanna know what happened but then also feeding it while promoting the album oop 
i love the story of this one it's so refreshing
so high school
THE PRODUCTION is so good ugh aaron never fails 
the man here is a walking red flag girl and the lyrics are ~not it~ but the production is too pretty to hate it
fuck these lyrics are so bad lol
maybe if i disassociate hard enough i can ignore the lyrics and just listen to the production and vibe
give me a karaoke version of this song and we'd be so back
i hate it here
i mentioned disassociation and she made a whole song about it!!!! this one’s mine!!!! 
‘without all the racists’ GIRL HUH
WHAT WAS THE REASON
also... girl don’t act like we don’t know you’re fine with that lololololol
if i had a dime for every time i was liking a song to then have it slapped away because of a bad, out-of-pocket lyric…… 
thank you aimee
this isn’t grabbing my attention 
oh the bridge is interesting 
it’s meh 
i will never be thanking the people that bullied me thanks tho
i look in peoples windows 
what do you mean aaron didn’t produce this??? it’s well-made and has instruments? 
i love this one, again a really interesting and unique concept that's very refreshing to hear at this point when a lot of the songs feel repetitive
the prophecy
aaron guitar!!!! 
she’s nice i like her 
i've really grown to love how she sings this one, the melodies are cool.. however i feel like we've heard the same melody.. like on this exact album... where she upturns at the end of every line...
cassandra 
this seems very…. familiar… idk i feel like we’ve covered this (i mean there are 31 songs we’ve already covered everything lol)
this is such an aaron song, that's a classic 'the national' piano
i like her voice in this one tho, sounds good
peter
oh love i love this
now this? THIS feels the most like a taylor swift song
once again she’s at her best with a simple instrument and emotive simple lyrics
the piano reminds me of champagne problems
the bolter 
i like this! the chorus is so cute
oh i like that ending line a lot!
she’s cute, a little long and drawn out but cute
robin
i haven’t seen anyone talk about this one
welp…. i literally have no feelings toward this one but sounds pretty! 
the manuscript
oh this is soooooooo powerful 
i love this concept 
her ending the album on another introspective album that sums everything up a la dear reader yep yep!!
if you actually read of this ily 💗
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undershyperfixate · 8 hours
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Ranting about Ashlyn and Aiden ( concerning Red story)
( this is spoiler free, I will only discuss things that happened until ep 72)
Edit : This was sitting in my draft for so long omg
( One of those rant is inspired by a convo I had with Moon)
(edit: I've just realized while editing this that your surname is biin and not moon I apologize)
SO, sure there's an sbg hiatus, but that doesn't stop me from nourishing myself with any content there is 🫡
What content do we have here?
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I've thought about that so many times while reading fanfics about sbg, especially because there's a lot of alternative universes fanfics and I would ask myself "would they even be friends without those events?"
And now we have our answer; no.
But what's interesting then is that Ashlyn would only get close with Aiden in universes where an event would force a proximity. More defined by an event where they would be forced to interact and understand each other to survive the event, without this event, their relationship wouldn't exist. Which is understandable since as shown in the webtoon, before the dimension; she avoids him, she distanced herself, and she would have continued to do that.
But most of all, I want to talk about the last sentence. ( I'm extremely bad with context clues so I'm not sure if the last sentence "they've grown closer and find comfort in understanding one another" is about the whole group or just Ash and Aiden, but let's act as if it was about Ash and Aiden).
Them both being neurodivergent ( Canon-wise, Ash is autistic and Aiden has ADHD) adds a lot to their understanding of each other and how they can find comfort in being together ( platonic or romantic).
I'm going to use one of some scenes to explain my thesis
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My favorite, scene, of all time. I love everything about that I'm going to explode.
Okay anyway, here we can see that Aiden noticed Ashlyn depressed state fastly, without even needing words, he knows about her boundaries so he just caress their knuckles together ( that sounds so medical) as a way to comfort her without making her uncomfortable. He understands her needs and boundaries and wants to still be able to be there for her and make her feel better in his own way so he does it in the most thoughtful way
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The way he's shocked at the contact and can't handle seeing her cry omg :( the way he wraps his hand around her in a comforting manner, like he just knows what to do when it's needed, without overstepping her boundaries in any way.
And now later on,
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Aiden was the first one to see that ash felt distressed about driving again, ( due to her feeling guilty when Tyler fell and that she wasn't able to go back). He proposes to drive even tho has zero experience in driving ( he probably wanted to try for some thrills too) but also because he understood how uneasy it was for her, same as when they were in the hospital.
And now for the main scene that inspired me to write this
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He's staying beside her when he's running and immediately grabs her arm when she stumbles because of the sudden loud noises. He sat beside her and put his hands on the headphones to help her muffle the sounds even more. That's such a genuinely adorable way of showing that you care by doing an act of service, but also them being both written as neurodivergent makes me think that they understand each other in a relatable way, in a "helping one another accommodate to their struggles" kinda way. The same way as Ash is said to be unconsciously more protective of Aiden because he's more hyperactive and takes more risks.
Everything about this rant can be taken as both platonic or romantic, as I tried to stay on red's words to describe their dynamic. ( Did I already say that? I get distracted easily)
I've finished my little rant, thanks for reading
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c00kieguy · 12 hours
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Boo! April Fools!
A/N: I know I'm more than 2 weeks late shhh. Anyway, pranking Jing Yuan, Welt, Boothill and Dr. Ratio. Not proofread.
masterlist
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Jing Yuan
You choose a very classic prank for this. All you needed was a piece of paper, some ink and something to stick it with
“Morning Jing Yuan.” You greet the general and hug him. He accepts your hug graciously but unbeknownst to him you stick a piece of paper to his back.
The rest of Jing Yuan’s day was…something.
“Good morning Jing Yuan.” “Rest well, Jing Yuan?” “Would you like some tea Jing Yuan?” Sure it all sounded like normal morning talk but…not a single person called him General. Not even Yanqing.
“Good morning Jing Yuan! Shall I start my training now?” Absurd. He’s close to losing it. I mean, he didn’t mind being called by his name but this…no…there was too much wrong with this.
When you reveal your schemes he’s very amused and gives you one of his signature hearty laughs. “I’m surprised everyone went along with it.” “They just wanted an excuse to see you confused since you’re always so calm and collected” “Ah….”
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Welt
Now this was a very interesting case. Welt wasn’t someone easy to prank, besides, you hardly knew much about him.
One important tit bit you managed to bribe out of the trailblazer tho was his immense love for collectables, and that’s all the help you needed for your prank.
Welt takes his time surveying the cabins of the express for anything odd. It was a quiet day but it never hurt to be a little cautious, besides, he was bored so might as well.
On his way back to the main cabin he spots something amazing, a small trinket, so small that he almost missed it. Getting down on one knee he realizes that it’s a small keychain of some sort with a toy robot at one end.
The man really felt like it was his birthday, sure it could belong to someone else but, small joys like these were rare.
When he goes it pick it up however, it seemed to have been stuck to the ground
You take the opportunity to start filming him from out of sight, this was going to be hilarious!
Welt tugs on it once, twice then on the third try he rips it off the floor with little to no effort. You just stare at him flabbergasted, was the super glue that weak? No…that can’t be it
You decide not to confront him about the incident and delete any video evidence, Aeon knew what he’d do to you if he found out…
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Boothill
What a carefree guy he was, but Boothill got annoyed very quickly so you had many options to screw with him.
That made it harder to pick however, but ultimately you decide on something very devious.
Sneaking into his room at knight you carefully connect your device to him via the usb port on his hip. After that it was only a matter of adding your code to the existing one and voila, done!
Unfortunately your luck ended there. 
“What do mew think mew’re doing nya?”
“WHAT DID MEW DO TO MEOW?” He looks furious and you’re doing your best not to laugh but you have to physically bite down on your lips to stop yourself. “Stop purring and fix thisss!!” Yea you lost it.
You spend the rest of the day undoing your mess with the occasional cocky rhetoric from your cyborg friend. You’re gonna really miss this tho, he sounds so cute saying all those adorable cat puns. You swore sometimes he’d growl like a cat whenever you slacked off for a bit
Overall, extremely tedious to fix, but was it worth it? Very.
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Dr. Ratio
Another tricky guy, you had to pull so many strings just to get everything ready so you hoped the payoff would be worth it.
You set up a small outing with Topaz, Aventurine and Ratio and go to meet up with them, so far only Topaz was there and Ratio joins you swiftly.
“Um…can we help you?” Topaz asks him. “Excuse me?” “Is there anything you need…?” “No? I’m here because you invited me.” You two give each other a very lost look.
“Sorry, do we know you?” Ratio looked like he was close to losing a few brain cells for sure. Luckily just then Aventurine arrived and Ratio visibly looked a little relaxed.
“Heyyy, who’s the new guy?” Yea no, he’s not relaxed anymore, the doctor looks like he’s about to blow a fuse.
“Is this some sort idiotic prank? I’m not interested in playing your stupid games-”
“Oh wait, I know you!” Topaz pipes up. “You’re Sunday right? Can’t believe I missed that signature blue hair.” The three of you share understanding nods between each other as if you had just uncovered some ancient truth. Out of the corner of your eye you swore you saw the doc’s eye twitch.
Luckily you and Topaz managed to slip out of there just as you hear Ratio’s brick book make contact with Aventurine’s head.
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masterlist
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ganondoodle · 10 months
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got visually spoiled on the literally last thing i was still actively missing and working towards in totk but i dont think im gonna like it anyway ...
if it is what i think it is, and what it looks like to be, its just yet another nail in the coffin (or however you say that) as to why the lore sucks in this game even tho it had such good setup and so much potential
#ganondoodles talks#totk spoilers#tagging it as such bc im gonna say my current thoguhts about it here#again its just visually and i havent seen the text to it yet#so please dont say anythign about it#but#im 100% certain its the reward for all shrines which i dont have yet#and first of all it looks dumb as shit#and second of all its supposed to be the ancient hero in the tapestry isnt it#the zonau got their grimy hands on that too dont they#the thing that was such a cool mystery all this time got solved just like that isnt it#nintendo saw us theorizing about gan being the ancient hero and thought oh gods now we cant give him nuance quickly invent some zonau excus#however that makes sense since they were supposedly long gone by the time the first calamity happened#which still happened even with the time fuckery going on since the tapestry still exists and the last guardian remains#tho it doesnt look quite like a zonau but more like some creepy ass unholy mix of a lizard and gerudo#im gonna wait with my final judgement since i havent read the text yet#but it for sure isnt motivating me more to get all the last 50 or so shrines#i regret finishing the underground first so much man#all you get is a you did it sticker#literally#should have done the shrines first so at least i couldnt get spoiled on that still#im guessing its funney reference or whatever#some mysteries are better left unsolved#didnt want to rush and get all shrines in a hurry and isntead explore it on my own since the exploring part and world is what i love#aside from the music#but i guess i gotta do that now#actual shrine hutning stream incoming i guess#:/
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todayisafridaynight · 5 months
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brother was talking to me about how if you almost die from an extreme-temperature-related incident then your body is just forever fucked towards that temperature and that's why i think kiryu and saejima are weak to ice. i dont know why aoki isn't like that too but ignore that statistic everything else tracks.
#snap chats#i already made this post highkey but im making it again cause i didnt know this was an actual real thing ☠️#my brother learned this when he started to work for target. because apparently that's a thing they tell you frame one#'snap how did this topic even come up' i am LITERALLY so glad you asked :) the cold has almost claimed me twice#am i exaggerating Maybe but its my fucked up body temperature now listen#when i was younger i got locked out of my house for like. three hours since i was a latchkey kid#and my dad wasn't supposed to come home with my siblings (from their after school events) for Three Hours#and it had snowed outside and Was Cold Yeah and i couldn't get in cause i forgot my key like a weiner#and yeah. was really cold :) my dad was real cross with me when he found me shivering in the shed LOL#he made me hot cocoa tho so its ok. second incident's just funny No I Talk About It Evvery Other Week#and im p sure i talked bout the first incident too but yeah that time after the con when i was at my sister's#like i cannot stress how cold it was because It Was Late November and the cold still existed#and my sister's heater just. Didnt Work but yeah. i wont go into detail cause i share this story every five seconds#POINT IS i've always had a hard time with the cold- like i'm cold nearly all the time even if the room is 90 degrees#i wont be COLD cold but i'll be colder than i like#anyways can't believe i'm weak to ice this is so sad. i love winter..#aoki isn't weak to ice cause uhhhh /aoki/ didnt almost die in the cold 🥴 masato did 🥴#imagine changing your identity so well that you just remove your past elemental weakness. fucked up.#alright bye
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ghoul-haunted · 8 months
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like, this exchange isn't going to make the cut because I had to can this whole sub plot, but I get to write it for myself. for me. as a present. a little treat.
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seaweedstarshine · 3 months
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Eleventh Doctor Chronicles: Sins of the Flesh is really good. Really really good. Experience with certain attitudes can be so isolating, surrounded by people who won’t bother to understand the impact of growing up in that environment (because the world's so progressive now, right), and so — I'm so glad it exists. I also liked the discussion in the interview commentary about how being a monster and doing monstrous things are not mutually exclusive. Like most things, homophobia is pervasive because it is structural. Religious fervor is not inherently bad — “your god is love,” Valarie says to Lily — but as soon as hellfire is brandished around, it's used routinely to empower monstrous things, in a way that becomes unsafe to debate. Especially for young & dependent people who can't escape it.
Conditional love. Moral panics. Purity culture. Self-hate. Mob mentality. This audio. It's timely.
I appreciated what they said in the interviews about not only about the research, but the four rounds of sensitivity readings. I wish the TV show had that level of care sometimes…
#actually the whole Everywhere and Anywhere boxset is excellent#tw homophobia#valarie lockwood#eleventh doctor#so I listened to the second audio in a muggy headspace when it came out and comprenhended none of it and thought what.#then I listened again today and understood it perfectly and cried the whole way thru. I love Valarie's husband ngl#they SHOULD have a poly marriage with Roanna on Medrüth to add to the timey wimeyness. totally normal to the Doctor#the Doctor emotionally saying Rivers death breaks his hearts in the same episode where he says-#'she looks drained. I guess marriage does that to you'. honestly all of the yowzah refs in eleventh doctor chronicles are kind of gold.#and the first story!!!!!! Valerie's dead mother!!!!!! the Clara mention in the summary was fully clickbait tho#oh and the Doctor telling Valerie about the Ponds at the end? SCREAMING- he didnt tell Clara about the Ponds!#in other audio news im slowly gettin thru eighth doctor audios while working. Neverland/Zagreus/Scherzo were as great as ppl say!#the anti time arc made me finally love charley (and find her interesting)#words by seaweed#this post just lowkey a subtweet at rtd. no offense to rtd for always thinking hes right without consulting the groups he talks about#in ADDITION to the story being cathartic. Cybermen running gay conversion therapy is a *chefs kiss* concept. I'm so glad it exists#I might delete this post later its making me feel low key vulnerable *ramble ramble*#by the way I don't think religion is mostly or uniquely responsible for homophobia.#I think it's like any bigotry or hatred. plus religion is an easy way to claim that god is on their side for ANY hatred they have#which means religious homophobia is a form of homophobic abuse that's not only mental and emotional but spiritual as well#it hits different when they invoke god. the entity who made you the way you are#finally watched Barbie and cried because even tho the message was simple my parents will never understand it#my dad who thinks patriarchy is exaggerated and my mom who thinks god made women to serve men#I’m in my mid 20s now it’s fine. I feel so alone its fine#im fine :D or I wouldn't be subtweeting RTD :D :D :D#I should sleep I have work in the morning ~time to listen to some eighth doctor and charley in the divergent universe~#why is 2024 busier than 2023#anyway sins of the flesh was kinda surface level ngl but I don't think anything deeper would've worked as well#it got the emotional beats (and it doesn't need to be a complex argument to point out the hypocrisy long as the listener aint brainwashed)#the doctor telling the homophobe his hatred killed his daughter and he'll never be forgiven
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tamagotchikgs · 10 days
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been trying to figure out just how i am going to explain how wildly my brain has been altered since the last time i saw my therapist && it make me realize all of this has happened in 1 month,,,,,,,,,,, it feels like . eons. eternity . in the best way possible
#normally everything feels so short#my anxiety just speeds me through it before i can even take a second to enjoy or even experience anything. everything is a dusty blur#but ive been ok#i've actually had good times ive mayb even started 2 feel close to a person for the first time in my life#feel safe w them#anxiety cant get me when im in their shield bubble#listening 2 em talk n even just Exist like woag ur the best thing in this whole world#just bbzbzbzbzbbzz#of course there r also the Horrors that do come w it just due 2 my avpd but . it still feels so different#and i like to ignore those because they make me feel like a monster i am not jealous noo i am so normal i am very normal#i am beating my jealousy side with a stick and i Will win#i have never and Will never act on it#if i ignore it they cant b real#also i do know it's illogical whihc helps#honestly though im used 2 it because ill get jealous if like . a stranger is nice to me and then is nice to some1 else. like oh. oh it was#all a rouse u want me dead u hate me#and it's like. homie. pal. that is normal. they're not abandoning u theyre not trying to set u up for humiliation#theyre just living their life#it's kinda weird tho because i will get feelings like that simultaneously with knowing i am Nothing i am a Horrid beast no one deserves to#even have to see#and knwoing i am not allowed to care about people and there is no shot in hell they will be even nice to me#so it;s just . a lot of things swirling constant;ly#painful emotions all around there is no joy#(except for rn. with them. i can b free from my brain)
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villainvillain · 1 year
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at some point i have to wonder if people actually like reigen as much as they claim bc fr some of them act like calling him pathetic and whatever is a personality. its not like im defending a fictional mans feelings but at some point u just get tired of the constant memeing on a character that canonically has an entire plot revolving around self worth
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sysig · 9 months
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Horti-cultural differences (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#NEJ#Captain Sterling#All NEJ this time around! Well and Sterling but he's always invited lol being Captain has some advantages#I feel like when I first made NEJ I tried to make something similar to that first image but couldn't manage it? :0 I don't really rememeber#I'm not finding any indication of such so I must've just thought about it really hard lol - technically I didn't successfully draw it! Lol#Happy it exists now tho :D#NEJ loves his plants <3 I mean that was part of why he was exiled lol - not for anything indecent he just likes plants more than other VUX#He's more of a romantic in that sense lol#But now he gets to spend all his time around plants! And ZEX doesn't have to worry about vetting for safe environments/food! Win-win!#He's also pro-ZEX so that didn't help his case - he doesn't hate humans but he doesn't like them either#Although he can only deal with VUX about double what he can with humans haha poor lad#He's got some mild-ish scopophobia and general dislike of social interactions - he was shunned for a while before getting the boot#But now he's got a job with plants he loves and a tinted-lense mask that helps soothe him! Got it made in the sun ♪#He does still get picked on tho haha <3 Spending all that time alone has corroded what little social skills he had to begin with#Jokes are definitely not his forte but he tries he's a good lad :)#Would VUX even breathe CO2 would them talking to an Earthen plant do anything lol#It's probably for the best he kept his mask on haha#Pollen season comes around and NEJ is pink and puffy but also very happy lol
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lilydvoratrelundar · 9 months
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reading excalibur 2019. i think we should ban americans from writing brits actually.
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bmpmp3 · 1 year
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SOME ocs
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elegyofthemoon · 3 months
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most embarrassing moment is when my friend describes me from their perspective
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