#all this to say… there’s just so much to Satan hdkdhsjsh and I am perpetually upset he is stuck in a shitty otome game

[rsmrymnt-tea]

Why did anyone have to “raise” Satan? I thought he was part of Lucifer before, he lived through Lucifer like a spectator, feeling Lucifer’s emotions, seeing through his eyes, but didn’t quite have his own body or personality. He grew a hatred for Lucifer after he manifested during the fall because he doesn’t want to be “Lucifer’s clone” or “Lucifer’s alter ego.” Satan just wants to be seen as his own person. That’s probably the main reason he hated Lucifer, because he used to be part of him and Satan just wants to break apart from that and be his own person.

Thats part of the problem though, he can’t. Before meeting MC he admitted that he was a manifestation of pure wrath. Beyond that, he was empty. He felt nothing but anger (which he learned to hide.) He felt inferior to Lucifer because he was incapable of feeling anything else. (After meeting MC he says they taught him to feel more than wrath, like love and such.)

After he manifested I believe that the brothers didn’t feel he needed to be raised, which is why he wasn’t ever properly taught emotions. The brothers were all probably still coping with Lillith and the fall, so I doubt they had much time to raise him anyway.

Satan figured the only way to differentiate himself with Lucifer is with knowledge from books because that’s all he had that Lucifer didn’t.

Sorry for the rant, just want to share my thoughts on Satan

Nah it's fair since I ended up going on a ranty discussion of my own with this (aka I once again talk about Satan a lot)

You kind of answered your own question as to why Satan needed to be 'raised.' He was a manifestation of pure wrath and nothing else when he was first created. What does pure wrath care about the rules of society? Of order? Or staying subservient to a ruler and keeping oneself in line for sake of reputation? Think of what pure wrath makes a human do and amplify that a hundred fold with the wrath of a fallen, betrayed angel, angered and outraged to the point of ejecting that wrath out of his body

(Also the fact that the brothers themselves said they helped raise him? Like I'm all for headcanons about Satan that make his existence ~angstier~ but if they literally just let him 'fend for himself' after his birth I doubt he'd even consider them brothers because anger makes you spiteful, it makes you hold grudges; now that I think about it, considering that Satan hates owing favors, him being one of the most responsible and reliable brothers probably began as him repaying them for teaching him shit back when he was just Wrath Incarnate and nothing more)

And yes, he was a part of Lucifer and saw the world through his eyes. But he barely remembers any of it, as per his own words. He couldn't even remember what the Celestial Realm looked like or what his brothers were like as angels. He couldn't even remember what Lucifer was like so it must've been like started from almost zero, except he's aware that it's not supposed to be zero. He's aware it's not supposed to be zero but that it should be, yet his head has him aching for memories that aren't his to be nostalgic about. He exists in his own body yet his own body was walking there in front of him. And he is so, so angry, so fucking angry, all he wants to do is kill maim destroy hurt torture lash out kill destroy--

Also just... much like how everyone else most likely needed to learn how to cope with their insatiable Sins, they likely had to help Satan figure out how to cope with his Sin... which was his entire existence at that point so unlike the rest of them who had vivid memory and clear experiences of being angels to pull from as basis for functioning, Satan kind of didn't thanks to the above?

Going off of everything I can recall from canon, his sense of inferiority doesn't just stem from feeling nothing but anger for all his existence until MC came along. It also stems from Lucifer making him feel that way. During his arc it's implied that he feels inferior because

- Despite having come from Lucifer, ranked eldest and most powerful among the 7 of them, he's only at 4th

- Lucifer tended to ignore and distrust him (valid considering Satan's hatred of him but)

- ^Above leads to a cycle of frustration because Satan's fucking itching for a chance to prove his value

- And consider what Grisella tells everyone on the train about her apprentice who killed her because she didn't give him a chance to be useful to him--Lucifer clearly takes that as a piece of indirect advice for how to treat Satan going forward. Which implies he's never even thought to acknowledge Satan and his competence in any way on his own volition until then

And re: MC teaching him how to love... Idk this one can be headcanon'd however you want but my understanding is that now that his isn't fully consumed by his hatred for Lucifer and his own hatred from himself has calmed down somewhat as he's learned to accept himself just a bit more, he has room to finally experience other emotions beyond anger and hatred? Because he definitely knows how to fake it and it's not like there isn't any love and care between his brothers (because romantic love is Not the only kind of love that we're giving importance to here) so I think all that was missing is his capacity to actually feel it himself?

This tho:

He grew a hatred for Lucifer after he manifested during the fall because he doesn’t want to be “Lucifer’s clone” or “Lucifer’s alter ego.” Satan just wants to be seen as his own person. That’s probably the main reason he hated Lucifer, because he used to be part of him and Satan just wants to break apart from that and be his own person.

Honestly yeah agree but there's definitely more to it than just leaving it at that. Which like, headcanon, imagination, extrapolating from canon material can fill in because why is it so awful to him to be considered Lucifer's alter ego when some would consider it an honor/compliment? Why is it so so so painfully important to him that he be his own person? Why is it that despite all the grief that Lucifer's cause him, the person that he hates the most is himself? What pushed him to choose to stitch together a gentlemanly persona out of the countless books he's read? And considering that he's the only one of them who's never been an angel and the only one born purely from his sin, what motivates him to want to keep his anger at bay despite how he could probably indulge it in more than he does and get away with it?

There's probably more thought-provoking questions and points people can think of about Satan but this is all I have skdfhksj I've almost been awake for a full 24 hours

#chat & colloquy #Anonymous #obey me satan #anon i cant tell if my tone sounds angry or not but im not angry sdjkfhksdjfg #just wanted to raise some points for consideration #but unfortunately like any satan ask i get it just turned into me going on and on about him??? oh my god #funny how this came about shortly after i reblogged a post about not being able to make long posts about a fave or some shit like that #katha #<- i guess... we'll see how i feel about that tomorrow #all this to say… there’s just so much to Satan hdkdhsjsh and I am perpetually upset he is stuck in a shitty otome game #that ain’t even tHAT SATISFYING BECAUSE YOU CANT DATE HIM OUTSIDE OF DEVILGRAMS #AND EVENTS FREQUENTLY REDUCE HIM TO JUST CATBOY #except this one the cold snap one unveils a little bit more about him which I love