#all those fucking pros are virgins and im taking their virginity
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the lonely district
↠ summary: In the years after the slime monster incident and Midoriya's disappearance, he had come back to haunt both you and Bakugou. He no longer was the boy you once knew, but a villain ready to take what was his. Revenge was best served cold, afterall.
↠ word count: 7, 523
↠ pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader x midoriya izuku
↠ genre/warnings: smut, angst, prohero au, DARK CONTENT, villain deku, yandere, shock collars, implied stalking, kidnapping. NSFW (NONCON, sub! reader, (reluctant) switch! katsuki, dom! izuku, fuck or die, loss of virginity, creampie, spanking, overstimulation, slight orgasm denial, blowjob, no aftercare)
↠ a/n: this is an old fic i have been trying to finish since 2019 so im sorry if the writing feels inconsistent. i just really wanted to finally finish it since it was half finished. also excuse the very outdated villain deku trope rip
It’s been a long day and honestly you just wanted to go home. For some reason, your supervisor thought it was a good idea to pair you with Dynamight or rather Bakugou Katsuki—your childhood friend. If you could even call him that. For the longest time, you both had not gotten along, but since you had the mutual friend of Midoriya Izuku, you had to interact. That all changed when Bakugou got his quirk and he turned into a cruel bully. The dynamic and interaction formula was always the same: Bakugou would torture Midoriya in any way he could, Midoriya would just let it happen and you would defend him, turning it into a full blown brawl between you and Bakugou. It stayed like this for a while until that day Bakugou was held hostage by that slime monster and Midoriya went missing.
After that you had clung onto Bakugou in a desperate need to make sense of both of them getting hurt on the same day and the loss of your best friend. Surprisingly, Bakugou let you. But not without string of degrading names following. Despite his harsh words, he never once pushed you away anytime you silently sought comfort. Even though he didn’t act like it, he too was affected by Midoriya’s disappearance. Maybe he felt guilty, maybe he just missed his punching bag, or maybe he finally matured.
You would never know since he was so emotionally constipated. It was a bitch and a half just to get him to admit that you were one of the most important people in his life. Even now as you are both pro-heroes in your early twenties, it’s difficult for him to call you his best friend. Sure, he would be concerned if anything happened to you—that worry built with your childhood friend missing—he would rather die than confess to that.
Thing is, Midoriya didn’t stay “missing” for so long. No, he wasn’t found nor was his body. No, he never returned to his poor mother after years of being gone with open arms. No, there was never a “welcome back” sign, but his face plastered on every wanted poster within Japan. The bastard had joined the League of Villain with a big ol’ grin on his freckled face. That cursed day when you met with those emerald eyes again had haunted you forever. Tears streamed down your face, watching him be reborn into a whole new person. He didn’t have an ounce of guilt in his bones, he only gave a maniac smile, mocking you.
Didn’t you miss me, N/n-chan? You look a little… sad, He drawled out with a smug look, glee coursing through his veins as you sob as if you had found him dead instead of him breathing, finally alive.
It was when he had escaped that Bakugou for once let you clutch onto him, holding in his own sorrow as you openly sob into his shirt. And he did it again when the League of Villains was supposedly defeated but Midoriya or rather Deku still ran rampant.
That’s where you two are now, there was another sighting of Deku in the area and you were assigned to bring him to face judgement. You knew what would become of him if you caught him. Still clinging onto the memory of an innocent child, you almost hoped that you would never find him.
Bakugou had other plans.
Since day one he had wanted to find that bastard (his words, not yours) and give him absolute hell for becoming a villain.
“It’s probably just another false alarm, just like the other seven,” You sassed him as you both walk towards an alleyway.
“Doesn’t fucking matter, we still have check just in case this time it’s not,” Bakugou growls stopping away.
You rolled your eyes and made a face at him from behind his back.
As if he had a sixth sense, he barked, “I know you’re being a brat. I would stop if I were you or else you want your ass blow into the fucking stratosphere.”
Once you both got to the alley way only to be met with a dumpster, you pivoted and raised your brow at Bakugou. He rolled his eyes at you and went towards the dumpster. He opened it to see if there was any hints or evidence Deku even here. Still standing near the entrance of the alley, you the hair on your neck rose. A primal instinct that you were being watched set alarm bells ringing in your head. As subtle as you could, your eyes bounced around the enclosed area in hopes to find the danger before it finds you.
A bad feeling sunk in your stomach like a rock does in water. Hesitantly you said, “Hey Dynamight, I think we should leave.”
“And why the fuck should we, Umbra,” He spat out your hero name.
“Because,” you strained, still observing your surroundings, “I have a bad feeling about this. I think we should leave and get some back up.”
He slammed down the lid and stalks up to you, venom in his voice, “Are you running away from a fight.”
“No—” You started, but he cut your off.
“Oh really,” He mocked, “Because to me, it seems that you are.”
“Can you not be an asshole for a couple seconds and listen to me?” Your voice pitched, not understanding why he’s being so difficult.
“Listen to you? Now why would I listen to you when it seems to me that you are avoiding any place that could have him in it?” You were about to start defending yourself when he cuts you off again. “It’s almost like you don’t want to find him.”
Your eyes widen at him, you couldn’t even feel offending knowing it’s the truth. Though, you rather not fuel Bakugou’s already large ego and denied him. “I’m just trying to make sure none of us get hurt!”
“I don’t need your fucking concern, I can beat any asshole including him easily,” He boasted.
“Oh get the fuck over yourself,” you barked, scowling at him. “Stop acting like you’re the fucking best, asshole.”
“I’m sorry what was that, Number Seven Hero?” Bakugou stepped closer until his face were mere centimeters away from yours. You just glare up at him, not caring that the height difference made you seem less intimidating.
“This isn’t the time for a dick measuring contest, something doesn’t fucking feel right here and I just want to make sure neither us get seriously injured.” You jabbed your finger in his chest to emphasized your point.
“I don’t need your fucking help!” He roared and grabbed on your wrist to throw it away from him.
You ran your fingers through your hair and then pull at it in frustration, “Why can’t you just let me help you—help us for once! You don’t always have to be the savior,” You let out a growl before finishing, “Fleeing isn’t being a coward, it’s being smart enough to analyze the situation and your own weaknesses!”
“So you’re call me fucking stupid now, you shitty brat,” he bit.
“That’s all you got from that?!” You screeched before letting out a laugh that held no humor, “You’re fucking helpless.”
“Helpless? I’m the helpless one? You’re the one that wants to fucking run away just because you ‘have a bad feeling’.” He did air quotes around what you had said.
“Oh God, Lord fucking forbid, I’m just looking out for both of our asses since you want to play big macho man!”
As you both start a screaming match with each other, you failed to notice the emerald eyes stalking you like a cat does a mouse.
“You’re so fucking clingy just like that damn Deku, hop off my dick,” He snarled and clicked his tongue at you as if you were a misbehaving child.
Rage built up within your chest at his ill words. Syllables that were only meant to maim almost leave your tongue when you heard a noise a little too close to comfort. Adrenaline coursed through your bones, knowing your suspicions were right. You grabbed onto Bakugou’s wrist and turned towards the dark corner of the alley to fade into the shadows in hopes to escape. You ignored how he starts to yell profanities at you. Before you could even take two steps, you were pulled back by your hair into a firm body.
You let out a grunt at the sting from the strands being pulled from their follicles.
“Not so fast,” The voice whispered in your ear.
Growling, you elbowed the person in the stomach and jump away from them before they could grab you again. When you turned around, you jaw dropped in shock.
“Izu-chan?” You stuttered out.
“In the flesh,” he taunted with arms raised to the side.
You couldn’t help but stare at him. He had matured so much since the last time you saw him. His hair was shorter but still as unruly, his jawline was chiseled along with his cheekbones, he still wore a dress shirt with a vest and tie, but for once it was tied properly.
“Finally decided to fucking show up,” Bakugou seethed.
Midoriya pouted as he lets his arms drop with a whomp sound against his outer thighs.
“Oh come on, Kacchan don’t be like that. I thought this could be like a family reunion,” He gives a grand smile before it dropped, venom in his tone, “Didn’t you miss me?”
“Sure, miss you so much, you shit stain.”
Midoriya fiegned hurt and clutched his chest in dramatics, “Oh, how you wound me so, dear Kacchan.”
Bakugou straightened out his back and got in a offensive position, “Enough with the fluff, Deku. It’s time I send your ass to jail.”
Cheek twitching, Midoriya glanced at you still shellshocked. Bakugou came at him, arms positioned behind him to perpell him at the shorter male. Right as Bakugou raised his fist to blast Midoriya in the face, he grabbed you and placed you right in front of him. Bakugou skidded to a halt with widened eyes, not wanting to hurt you in the process. You locked eyes with him. Your knees wobbled from being manhandled so easily.
“Using a girl to shield you is low.”
Midoriya simply shrugged and brought a hand up to cradle your throat. His fingers tightened when he felt you gulp underneath his gloved hands.
“Scared, Love?” He slithered in your ear. He looked down at you, before peered up at Bakugou. At his enraged expression, he licked the shell of your ear. You whimpered and flinched away the best you could.
This was exactly why you didn’t want to meet Midoriya. Even before he disappeared, he was smart and cunning. He knew how to get under Bakugou’s skin, and render you useless. Tears bubbled up as you faced the fact the boy you once loved had died long ago. Pretending to still trembled, you subtly widened your stance. Bringing a hand to Midoriya’s, he took it as you sniveling.
“Shh, don’t cry.”
Looking at Bakugou, you hardened your expression. Quickly, you gripped Midoriya’s wrist and with all your might you stepped forward and used his weight against him to throw him over your shoulder. When his back hit the ground, he let out an irritated grunt.
Wasting no time, you grabbed the quirk cancelling handicuffs on your belt and raced towards him. As you went to straddle him, he kicked your feet from under you and you fell with him. Bakugou took your place and was on top of Midoriya in no time. With acute flexibility, Midoriya spun around and kicked Bakugou in the face.
“Gah! Fuck,” Bakugou growled while gripping his face.
Wind still knocked out of you, Midoriya focused on Bakugou.
“You were always stupidly resilient,” The villain seethed. “I’m done playing games.”
“Good, because so am I.”
Bakugou lunged at him, ready to blast him to kingdom come. Midoriya side stepped his attack. Huffing, he went at him again. The two of them stayed the dance for a while. Any attack Bakugou attempted to do, Midoriya merely avoided with such leisure. The asshole even had his hands behind his back.
Watching as you got up to join the fight as well, Midoriya sighed. “Stubborn, the both of you.”
With such grace, he grabbed Bakugou’s hair and slammed his knee into his face. Stunned, the hero stumbled back. Before he could process the hit, Midoriya kicked him in the head, rendering him useless. Your mouth gaped at Bakugou being so easily taken out. His lids flickered as he struggled to get up.
“R-run,” He commanded, before falling.
Scrambling away from the villain, you sucked in your breath as you go to phase into the shadows. Before you could, Midoriya gripped you again. This time, his hands wrapped the column of your throat and squeezed. Frantically, you slapped against his forearms.
Adding more pressure, he leaned over you as you form slacked to the ground.
“Sweet dreams.”
Bakugou was the first to come to his senses. He squinted his eyes to adjust to the light that hung above him. He groaned as he observed his surroundings, noticing that he was in a dingy basement. There wasn’t much besides a queen size bed near the corner along with a door that he had no idea where it led and an opening with stairs peeking around the corner from where he saw.
Clutching his head, he turned to see your still slumbering form not far from him. Panic built up in him as he scrambled over to you and sighed in relief when there is no sign of vital injures. He starts to shake you awake, trying to think of a plan to escape.
After a couple moments, you let out a hum and your eyelids fluttered open. Just like Bakugou your eyes squinted at the sudden light probing at your pupils.
“Katsu,” You groaned, mind still fuzzy so the old nickname slipped out. Your throat killed.
Bakugou shakily exhaled, glancing towards the concealed stairwell, “Yeah, it’s me.” His hands are gentle as he helped you up into a sitting position. You lean against his chest, body to exhausted to even hold yourself up. Which was odd to you since you were sure that Bakugou got the brunt of each hit that Midoriya landed.
“Where are we?” You asked huskily despite knowing that he probably was just as clueless as you.
“Why the fuck would I know that, brat,” He bit, before sighing and apologizing. He’s just irritated that you both were captured.
“It’s fine, it was a stupid question, anyway,” You smile up at him.
Bakugou looked down at you and then furrowed his brow when he sees the collar around your neck along with a prominient bruise. Now that he thought about it, he felt one around him, too. You seemed to also notice as you reached towards him and traced the collar, confusion written on your face.
You and him were clad in different clothes as well. Instead of his hero suit, he now adorned plain sweatpants and a black t-shirt. You were wearing the same, but shorts instead. What a fucking perv.
Before you two could question each other, the thud of door opened and closed, followed by rhythmic footsteps coming down the stairs. Your heads snapped to the sound and Bakugou took a defensive stance to see Midoriya strut into the basement with a valiant smirk. You scrambled to stand with Bakugou, but your legs give out for a second and he had to catch you. Once you were sure on your feet, you glared at the man in front of you.
“Aw why such aggressive faces,” The villain pouted.
“You know damn well why, you fucking bastard,” Bakugou seethed, tiny explosions crackling in his palms.
You glanced to the shadows creeping up the walls. Shifting your attention to the stand off that the two men were having, you only hoped Bakugou could distract Midoriya enough for you to slip passed him. Ignoring the way your heart pounds at the thought of joining the darkness once again, you raced towards the vantablack. Almost like predicting your movements, Midoriya grabbed your wrist and pulled you to him. His arm snaked around your waist. You struggled as best as you can, but his grip got so tight a squeak left your lungs.
“Aw, N/n-chan, you so adorable,” He nuzzles into your neck. He trailed his cold nose up the slope your neck, purposely digging into the bruise, up to your cheek so he could whisper in your ear, “Have you ever heard of cute aggression? It’s quite a funny concept. Humans when we see something cute, we just find the need to squeeze it until it cries or even die. Funny, right?” As he speaks his grip only got tighter and you stand straight as a pole as he licked the shell of your ear, again.
“Get the fuck away from her, you freak.”
Bakugou took a step towards you, but Midoriya dropped his hold on your wrist, to fish something from his dress pants pocket. The hero observed the other man, not wanting to be too brash when your life is on the line. He won’t make the same mistake twice.
Midoriya started to fiddle with what looks like a remote between his gloved fingers. “I would be careful what you say, Kacchan, because the results may be… shocking,” He smirked to himself at his own little inside joke.
“What was I saying, my angel?” Midoriya began, but you kneed him in the crouch and jumped away from him.
“Don’t fucking touch me!” You commanded, ready to fight your childhood friend—no, this villain.
Instead of instantly attacking, Midoriya stayed bent down, clutching his stomach as he giggled. A shiver crawled up your spine at his laugh that lost all warmth it once had. He was insane. He cackled for what seemed to be ages before he stands up straight and all humor gone from his face.
“Interrupt me one more time, and I swear to god,” He snarled, his doe eyes dropped into menacing slits. “As I was saying,” Midoriya reached for you again, but you slapped it away.
“I said don’t touch me,” You spat at him.
“Fine be like that, fucking brat.”
Searing hot pain was all you felt. You screamed at the top of your lungs as you collapsed onto the cement floor in front the villain. Bakugou could only watch in horror at your shrill howls. You desperately clawed at the collar around your throat as it felt as if liquid fire was shot into your veins.
“What are you doing? Fucking stop it, you’re hurting her!” Bakugou practically begs as your body withered in agony.
Midoriya only shrugged, “I believe that dwindling down the pain is the best way to train."
You gasped for breath, struggling to get even an ounce of oxygen.
“She’s not a damn dog!” Bakugou felt so helpless as he watched you struggled to inhale and he growled when your face starts to turn vermillion. “She can’t fucking breathe, you bastard!”
Cold washed over your body. Falling onto your side, you sucked in as much air as you can try to ignore the urge to vomit.
With such a disgusting poise, Midoriya beny down and sat you up. He forced you to lean against his chest just as you did with Bakugou. “Poor baby, you tried so hard to save you and Bakugou. You even attempted to use your quirk. Isn’t it scary? You still sleep with the lights on, don’t you?” He cradled you and his tone was just so condescending but you couldn’t do anything about it.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Bakugou questioned.
“Oh, he doesn’t know,” Midoriya teased, keeping his eyes on you. He felt twisted arousal at those tear stained cheek and how you lips shimmered with spit. “The poor, little baby is terrified of the dark. Absolutely terrified!”
"What?"
"Pretty juvenile, isn't it?” He mocked, then turned his attention to the hero a couple feet from him. “To be honest, she didn't plan ever using her quirk again after that incident when she first got her quirk. You remember it, right? She was missing for hours, poor thing was stuck in the shadows all alone. But, after seeing you captured by that slimy fuck and my 'disappearance' poor thing blamed herself for not being strong enough. That day on she promised to become stronger to find me and make sure her dear friends will never be harmed again. Isn't that just sweet. The perfect hero story."
Multiple emotions flashed on Bakugou’s face; confusion, worry, anger and guilt. "Why— why would you become a hero for such a stupid reason, huh?! I can protect myself!" His words were sharp as he glared you down, hating how dazed you look. Despite his declarement, guilt tugged at his heart. He couldn’t help but think if he was just a little stronger and didn’t fuel your need to be a hero, than either of you would be in this situation.
Softly, the villain started to wipe away the drool that pooled in the corner of your mouth and the tears that had yet to dry from your face. You furrowed your brow and tried to focus on Bakugou and answer his question that sounded more like a plea.
"I just wanted to be strong, too. You and Izu-chan always protected me so I wanted to return the favor." The words were slurred but it still stirred something in both of the men.
"And just how sweet," Deku seethed, now gripping your cheeks so hard your lips became puckered. He pulldc your face close to his before he clicked his tongue and pushed your face away, letting your body dropped as he stood.
“Fuck,” you hissed. Your reactions were slow so your head hit the concrete with an audible thud.
Bakugou attempted to go to you to check you were okay, but Midoriya held up the remote.
“Ah, ah, ah,” He tutted at the hero with a wagging finger, “If you haven’t noticed, I get to say what goes and I don’t think I said you could go near her.”
Bakugou only growled like a feral dog but doesn’t move in fear of seeing you in such misery again. “You’re a bastard I hope you know that.”
“And what does that make you, Kaccan,” Midoriya’s tone was cold, so cold that the temperature dropped.
You stared down the remote, formulating a plan. If you could only grab the damn remote then he won’t hold so much power you both and you can move freely. Seeing that he was distracted by Bakugou, you pushed yourself up to stand. Not caring how your bones screamed to rest, you slinked up and reeled your fist up to punch him with all your might. A whoosh came from how fast your went to strike. Your breath caught in your throat as Midoriya seize your fist without even looking at you.
“You stupid, stupid girl,” He sung without any emotion. He snatched your jaw and shook your head, amusement in his eyes as you tried to kick and squirm. Without any effort, he threw you away and you fell to a heap onto the floor. “Stupid, stupid girl,” He repeated and then he pressed onto the remote.
A loud grunt cracked and echoed into the basement. You watched in horror as Bakugou crampled to the cement, trying his damndest to get the collar off. A shiver ran down your back, knowing exactly how he must feel.
“He didn’t didn't do anything!" You screeched.
"Right now he didn't," Midoriya shrugged, watching how the mighty fall with a smile.
Bakugou let out a shout he tried to hold back, not wanting to give Midoriya the satisfaction or to worry you. It was too late for that though as you crawled over to the villain. You clutched onto his pants, begging, “Please just let him go. Just make it stop please.” New tears started to form watching the most important person to you crumpled over in pain on his knees.
A gagging noise rings in your ears as his face is now red like a rose.
“Please!” You screeched, now hugging Midoriya’s legs and gazing up at him with watery eyes. Snot and tears ran down your visage as you repeated please over and over again. “I’ll do anything, just please let him go, he can’t breathe!” You babbled pleases as if it was the only words you know.
Midoriya’s eyes lit up a maniac green seeing you gravel at his feet. God, you were so fucking pathetic. His cock twitched as you begged you were made to.
"Anything?" He drawled out, not caring how Bakugou choked. It was only background noise to him.
"Yes, anything! Just please stop all of this, I'll do anything you say." There was clear desperation in your voice.
Midoriya let out a hum before answering and turning off the collar, "Call me Izu-chan again like you used when we were kids."
You tilt your head at the simple command. It was easy enough, you were about to reply then Bakugou gasps out, "Don’t do anything that sick bastard tells you to!"
Pure ire flashes on Midoriya’s face. He snarled as he looked at Bakugou’s quivering form trying to suck up oxygen and was about to press the button again until he hears your heavenly voice.
"I-Izu-chan, Izu-chan please don't!" You pulled yourself closer, so close that your breasts squished against his shins. You kept gaze up at Midoriya, trying to look innocent as possible to please him. Honestly, it was working because as you looked up at him with those teary eyes, he can’t help but notice how beautiful you look at his feet. Worshipping him as if he is a god. Midoriya reached down and cradled your cheek within his gloved palm. You closed your eyes and snuggled further into its warmth, trying to seem inconspicuous as you hear Bakugou start to stand. Pouting, you laid it on thick praying he kept his attention on you. "Don't hurt him! He-he's just being brash like usual. Please he doesn't know any better."
“You’re right,” Midoriya stared at you with adoration, but it fell when he locked gazes with the hero inches away from punching him in the face, “He doesn’t know any better.”
Bakugou’s eyes widened as he froze at how he was able to catch on so fast. He was about to send an explosion towards the villain when Midoriya kicks you further away from Bakugou and pressed the damn remote again.
You could only whimper out a little, “Katsu,” that breaks his heart. He went toward you again but he felt that pain once again. He fell to the floor not too far from you. Body exhausted, he just collapsed to heap on the floor. The shocks were gone as fast as they came, but before he could even attempt to crawl to you, Midoriya straddles his back. He tries to buck him off but his arms were grabbed and harshly forced behind his back.
“Get the fuck off of me!” Bakugou tried to say but the hand not holding his arms, pushed his head into the ground. He grunted when the side of his face hit the concrete, leaving him immobile. Midoriya adjusted himself so that he was now stranding the back of Bakugou’s thigh, spreading the hero’s leg.
He giggledvwhile cruelly shoving his knee into Bakugou’s crotch, "Now if you are both done interrupting me, we can finally get this show on the road."
A huff left Bakugou at the stimulation that grinded against his groin.
“What are doing you bastard!” Bakugou barked, slight desperation in his voice as his cock started to spring to life. Midoriya only ignored him as he pressed hard, reveling in the tiny groan that left Bakugou’s chest. “I said, what are you doing?” Bakugou squirmed more, but nothing happens.
Midoriya pressed his front into Bakugou’s back and whispered in his ear, “How does it feel to be the one pushed down. Not so fun is it?”
“What is this? Some sort of fucking revenge fantasy, sicko?” Bakugou groaned, hating how his body was betraying him.
Humming, Midoriya kept his knee grinding into the hero. Bakugou tried to scramble away, not wanting you to see him so weak, but Midoriya got a lot stronger with age. An uncanny amount.
Against the small of his back, Bakugou felt how hard Midoriya was. The need to vomit built up in his throat. Shuffling himself, the villain put himself between his childhood friend’s hips. Through the thin material of his sweatpants, Midoriya’s length rubbed against the line of his ass.
Leaning down so his lips brushed against the hero’s ear, Midoriya’s breath stuttered. He had been waiting for this moment for so long. His tip leaked in the confides of his slacks, begging to sink into Bakugou or your heat. The way Bakugou struggled against him only added more stimulation.
Not wanting to get too ahead of himself, Midoriya opened to see you crawling to the shadows on the wall. Sighing into Bakugou’s ear, the man under him shuddered. Still grinding his cock into Bakugou’s withering hips, he pressed the remote to see go slack against the floor. Your whimper had Bakugou turn his focus to your writhing form.
“S-stop,” His words had a double meaning.
Giving one last harsh thrust that if there weren’t clothes between the two men, his cock would have surely breached the hero’s hole, Midoriya got up. He clicked off the eletricity and followed how drool foamed out your mouth.
“Get on the bed. Sit at the head and wait, if you don’t,” He waved the remote in front of Bakugou’s flustered face, “You know what will happen.” Midoriya pointed with his chin at your form.
As Midoriya pulled his weight and grip from Bakugou, he went to the bed as instructed. Heaven knew he wanted to knock the motherfucker out, but your life was on the line. Settling into the metal bars of the headboard, he watched Midoriya go to your pliant form.
Or so he thought.
When Midoriya bent down to grab you, you snapped your foot up and kicked him right in the nose.
“Shit!” He cradled his nose, tears flooding his sight.
Sprinting to Bakugou, you reached for him and prepared to barrel into the darkness. Falling onto the bed, Midoriya quickly recovered and pinned you underneath him. You screamed and clawed at the bedsheets. Kicking and squirmed, you did anything you could to get him off you.
Midoriya grabbed your head and smothered your face into the cushions.
“Don’t,” He bit. Not at you, but at Bakugou who got ready to fight. “I’ll fucking snap her neck and make you fuck her cooling corpse.”
Grinding his teeth, Bakugou could only watch as Midoriya maneuvered your thrashing form. Sitting at the edge of the bed, he placed your body across thighs so you were butt was perked up on his lap.
“Damn, I thought Bakugou would be the brat, not you.”
“Fuck you!” You screeched.
You were so sick of being antagonized by him. Adrenaline in your system had you acting out of character. Wrenching your arms behind your back, Midoriya ripped off your shorts and your panties. Terrified, you fought more, not liking where this was going. Before you could move more, a thundering slap burned in your bare bum. Screaming, you whipped your head to Midoriya.
Tears pierced your waterline. He- he just spanked you like you were a child.
His face stone-cold, he didn’t offer any comfort. Bringing his hand down again, your feet kicked pathetically at the sting. He hit the same place again. Sobbing, your head fell into the bed. The fight in you left as quick as it came.
Seeing you were more calm, Midoriya rubbed his large, calloused hand over your burning bum. “You done?”
Whimpering, you nodded your head.
Despite your form sagging, he doesn’t lift you up. If anything, his hand wandered until his fingers brushed against your slit. Gasping, your head sprung up to try and make eye contact with him. He ignored you to spread your legs and get more of a view of your cunt.
“S-stop it,” You begged.
Midoriya dipped into your hole to gather some of the wetness that unwillingly spilled from you.
“Why stop when your pussy is so wet for me?”
Swirling your clit, your legs twitched from the stimulation. Going back to your hole, he breached you with two fingers. You winced from the intrusion. Thrashing, you didn’t want someone to touching you there, especially for the first time.
Midoriya caught attention to your flinch, “Oh, are you a virgin?”
A shit-eating grin spread across his face when you sob, not stopping shoving his thick fingers further into you. Looking over at Bakugou, he isn’t ignorant to how the hero’s nostrils flared. “Aww poor Kacchan, you wanted to get to her first, didn’t you?”
“Die,” Bakugou snarled, but his eyes didn’t leave the fingers splitting you open.
Midoriya huffed a laugh, and leaned down to you, “I bet he would have made it real special. Too bad all he’s gonna get is my sloppy seconds.”
Ripping his fingers from you, you gasped at suddenly being empty. Licking your escense from his appendages, Midoriya forced you up. Roughtly, he ripped off your shirt so you were completely bare. Without care, he threw you down between Bakugou’s legs, a pillow below you. Getting behind you, he propped your hips up so you were face down and ass up.
Not giving two shits what Midoriya says, Bakugou gripped onto one of your hands as a small form of comfort. You clutched onto him, fear turning your tummy in tiny twists.
Midoriya unzipped his pants and brought them down to pull his cock from the tight cloth. Sighing in relief, Midoriya stoked himself with a few weak pumps. One his knees, he dragged himself closer to inspect both of your holes on display for him. With thumb, he ran it down from your ring of muscles over your hole and to your clit. Brushing it, he went back to your hole, he hooked his thumb inside and pried you apart.
A shuttering moan left at being exposed for his greedy eyes. Not caring you weren’t prepped enough, Midoriya brought his cockhead to your pussy.
“W-wait!” You begged, but he only bullied his way inside.
Only the tip was inside and you were being ripped apart. Bakugou gasped your hand tighter. More and more of your ex-childhood friend shoved himself inside. At halfway, he pulled out until it was just the head, and then slammed all the way to the hilt.
Screaming into the pillow, you cried as he tore his way into you. His balls slapped against your clit as he started a brutal pace. Your nipples chaffed against the rough texture of the bedding.
“Fuck, you’re tight,” Midoriya moaned.
He didn’t hold back his noises. Fucking into you, he groaned and whimpered, loving to finally be inside you. He had waited for years to feel how warm you were. When he was still a hormonal teen, he would spend hours yanking his cock to the thought of tearing you open. Who was he kidding? Even well into his adults years, he still fucked himself to you.
And him getting to you before Bakugou was the cherry on top.
A petty, insecure him wanted to shout, ‘I win!’ right at the man in front him. But staring at him, as he silently seethed at watching you get fucked by the man he hated, was much sweeter.
Crowding you, Midoriya leaned down to groan in your ear, “Look at you. Your sloppy cunt molding just for my cock. You were made for me.”
His head leaned down further to suck the length of your neck. Kissing the nape, he harshly bit into it and you screamed at the piercing ache. Tilting his hips, he hit the spongy part in you, a moan finally leaving you. He kept abusing it as his hand went down to your clit. Instinctively, you spread yourself further for him. His cock stretching you past your limits had your brain fog up in pleasure. Mouth gape, you whimpered into the pillow.
Working you over, Midoriya didn’t stop his pace or how he twiddled your clit. Too fast for your liking, a tightness tugged in your lower stomach.
“N-no.”
Midoriya caught on to how you scrambled away from the pleasure, “Oh, are you- fuck- are you gonna cum?”
In denial, you shook your head.
Laughing at you, Midoriya didn’t stop, just kept going as he was. Pinching your clit, your legs spasmed. You bit your lip to hold off the orgasm, but it was too late.
With a pound into your g-spot, you moaned as you came all over the villain’s dick. Groaning, Midoriya’s hips stuttered, but he was far from completing with you. Licking your neck, he bit into your flesh.
The pleasure quickly turned into pain as he didn’t stop. “Stop, it h-hurts!”
“Good.”
Ramping up his thrusts, you screeched into the pillow. Clutching onto it with your free hand, Bakugou stroked your hair to help you work through the agony. Tilting your head up, you looked up at the hero with bleary eyes. Drooling dripped down from your lips for a different reason.
From your fucked out expression, Bakugou almost came just from that. He knew it was wrong, but his cock has never been harder. You looked so beautiful ruined. If only it was him splitting you apart until you were crying.
Squeezing your eyes shut, you prepared for the next orgasm that threatened to rip through you. Midoriya’s thrust turned sloppy, he finally let up on your clit to focus on his own end. Gripping your hips, he forced them back to fuck you further on him.
You screeched and clenched around him when he bumped your cervix. At that, Midoriya stilled his hips. Cum shot out from him and deep in your cunt. He didn’t move until all of his cum spilled inside you. Your body hummed and twitched.
Sagging down, you were exhausted. Midoriya pulled out from you and you whimpered at being empty after being fucked open. Though, he didn’t leave you alone. His hand cupped your cunt, not letting any cum dribble out.
“Your turn,” Midoriya addressed Bakugou.
“What?” The hero asked stupidly.
“I did say you would get my sloppy seconds, didn’t I?” He tilted his head, mocking him. “Unless you don’t want to.”
Steeling his resolve, he agreed, “Fine.”
Like a puppet on strings, Midoriya pushed you onto Bakugou’s lap. Hand still cupped over you cunt, Bakugou tugged down his sweatpants and boxers. Sighing as his cock slapped against his clothed stomach, he grabbed your thigh to bring you closer.
With Midoriya’s help, you were positioned over his cock. Pressing against your back, you noticed he didn’t put his own away. Ignoring it, you locked gazes with Bakugou. He returned it.
Taking the reigns, Bakugou tugged you from Midoriya’s grip and he let him. Pulling his hand from your cunny, Bakugou replaced it with the blunt head of his cock. Cum spilled down to your thighs. Using it as lube and still stretched open, Bakugou slipped inside you with little resistance. He was a little bit bigger than Midoriya and thicker. Despite that, you didn’t wince as you sank down to the hilt.
Grasping you, Bakugou cradled your face. With little patience, he began thrusting inside you. Moaning, you didn’t stray away from his ruby eyes. Here, in this moment, you could pretend it’s just you two. Maybe the tension between you finally bubbled over and he took your virginity like you secretly wanted. And maybe, just maybe, Bakugou could take it like he longed for as much you did.
Matching his momentum, Bakugou brought his thumb over you parted lips. Dragging it across your bottom lip, he slipped his thumb inside. Moaning, you licked at the oddly sweet skin.
Midoriya cut into the moment, “Don’t you dare cum until I say so.”
Glancing at him, you see him sitting at the end of the bed, working himself back up slowly. His hand twisting over his length a lot slower than Bakugou’s thrusts.
Hooking his thumb on your bottom teeth, he brought your attention back to him. Eyes not straying from his, he let his hand slither down to hold your throat. The grip gentle. You sunk into his hold, it so much softer than you ever expected.
His other hand went to your neglected clit, circling it. Moaning for him. your thighs shook. Hands on his plush chest, you traveled down to grip his wrist. If he kept going, you would cum and you didn’t want to know what Midoriya would do.
Bakugou took at as encouragement and pressed further.
“I- I can’t!” You hiccupped.
Taking mercy on you, Midoriya said with a wavering voice, “Cum. Now.”
Not wasting a moment, Bakugou pushed you down onto the bed. Hand still on your throat, he hovered over you. In the tangle, his cock fell out, but he quickly fucked it back in you. Like a man starved, he slammed his dick in and out of you.
Groaning, you tilted your hips to encasing him inside you more. With his knees, he spread you further and went back to your bundle of nerves.
“You’re so pretty,” Bakugou leaned down, and bit right where Midoriya did before. He tried his best to cover all of that bastard with himself.
His sweet words had your vision swarm. Kicking your feet and curling your toes, his next bite did you in. Cumming with a loud moan right in his ear, Bakugou quickly followed. His cum mixed with Midoriya’s.
Flopping on top of you, he kissed where he bit you as an apology. Deep in you, his cock softened and fell out. Whimpering, you welcomed being empty once more. Your hips were battered and bruised.
“How cute,” Midoriya mocked.
From under Bakugou, you stared at the man who towered the both of you, still stroking his own cock. “I’m far from done with you two.”
Twisting his head to the villain, Bakugou sneered, “Fuck off. We did what you wanted.” He refused to move, covering your form with his to protect you.
The shorter male’s face dropped. “If both don’t get to work sucking my cock, I’ll shock you until you’re fucking stupid and nothing more than little fuck dolls.” Hand tight around the remote, you didn’t take his threat lightly.
Crawling out from under the hero, you went down on your knees on the cold concrete floors. The bones already ached. Glaring at Midoriya, Bakugou didn’t break eye contact as he got on his knees right next to you. It was comically how his form swallowed yours.
Sitting at the edge of the bed, Midoriya had you two between his knees. Raising his brow in impatience, you leaned over to lick his cockhead. Bakugou copied you to focus on his balls. Sucking one of them in his mouth, Midoriya bucked up forcing you to take more of his length.
“S-so good,” With both hands, he gripped you and Bakugou’s hair.
Pulling off his cock, you kissed furthered down until you met with Bakugou’s mouth. Departing from Midoriya’s sack, Bakugou licked up until your mouths connected. Over his dick, you both made out, tongues brushing against each other.
Your moan vibrated against Midoriya causing him to shutter.
“For a virgin, you are a natural.”
Clenching your eyes closed, you tuned out his voice and went down to his balls. Taking your place, he went to Midoriya’s cock and took it all in one go. Leaning over you, your lids went half mast, watching Bakugou swallow the villain causing him to give a girlish moan.
Moving to his other ball, you gave it attention, sucking it your mouth. Your tongue swirled around it. Bakugou moved up and down his cock with expertise, smirking when Midoriya whimpered again.
“F-fuck!” He groaned and pulled you both off him.
Ripping his hand from the one in Bakugou’s hair, he stroked his cock and aimed it at you. With two pumps, he came all over your face. You flinched back as it almost hit your right eye.
Releasing you, he leaned forward as shame washed over you. Cum still spilled from your cunt. Being the only one covered in cum and naked, you felt dirty. This time, tears did pour over as you refused to make eye contact with the man above you.
Sensing your shame and pissed at being degraded, Bakugou glared at Midoriya. Hatred seeped from his pores.
Midoriya merely smirked. Tapping your collar, you were forced to look at him.
“It’s going to be so much fun completely breaking you two.”
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cw: virgin!bakugou x reader, oral, blowjob, riding, praise, a little bit of a hair pulling kink, breeding kink etc. // fem!male!gn reader friendly.
music: for those who like to read with some on! this is my personal fav, has channeled a lot of nsfw writing :)
fuck there's just something about virgin!bakugou x reader. like it's always him corrupting the reader but what if it was switched?
mf is so sensitive. like let's say first time making out and you're on his lap and positioned just right so when it gets heated you start subconsciously grinding back and forth on his cock. and groping each other and surprise he gets a boner.
he'll think about how he could feel your hotness through his pants and if you don't stop soon he's gonna cum in his pants like a little schoolboy.
he'd excuse himself to the bathroom and pull a quick yank because he was so embarrassed.
your first time seeing his cock is for sure an experience. solid 7 or 7.5 when hard. fucking rigid and vein-y and girthy and all the dirty words you can think of. dripping in pre-cum because his body has never had somebody elses touch on him like that.
imagine stroking his cock for the first time. a simple handjob would send him to outer space. everything you're doing is like magic to him. you listen to every single lewd moan he lets out.
he's fucking his cock into your hands (yes hands cause he's a big boy!) like a bitch. im telling you the first time you make him cum like that he has tears in his pretty little eyes from how good it was.
how about sucking him off for the first time? he has a hand over his eyes because he doesn't want you to see how they're going cross-eyed. his hand eventually falls off and goes to your head gripping it like his life depending on it as you sucked the life out of him. giving you the view to his entire face. his lips are bitten red and almost dripping blood because he doesn't want to let out any of the humiliating sounds that want to come out. but little grunts and whimpers come out any way. his curls sticking to his forhead from how sweaty he is.
he's trying to control himself so hard but poor baby is losing his mind in pleasure. his thighs are twitching and he's shaking as he nears his release. every gag and loud slurry gurgle is pushing him off. he wants to cum so bad but he doesn't want this to end. doesn't know how he has ever called something as good when he had never before had your hot wet mouth sucking him dry. the minute you take all of him, your nose brushing his blonde pubes, and look up at his eyes. tears in yours and his, making eye contact. he explodes.
eating you out for the first time? baby doesn't know anything. knows what a clitoris is but needs help finding it. i think everyone makes a mistake talking about how he'd be a sex god or some shit but he wouldn't just let anybody fuck around with him yk. so he's new to everything. he's watched a few pornos sure but it doesn't compare to the real deal.
cont. so he instead kitten licks around your sopping cunt so slowly. savouring every drop like it's his last. he doesn't even realize he's teasing you because he's trying to listen to your moans and whimpers. trying to figure out when they increase because he did something right. your hand is in his hair pulling him face first into your cunt, your thighs squishing around his head. and he can feel his cock throb in his pants. did he have a thing for suffocating on pussy? yes probably.
when he finally finds your sweet clit, he's ruthless in bringing you pleasure. he'll start off by sucking and licking but as you get closer he'll start biting and pulling on it. it'll take a while to make you come because it's his first time (give him some slack) but eventually as he eats you out more he learns and improves from them. now anytime he's horny or he's bored. he'll gobble you down like a pro. sometimes he'll do it just for fun. will make you sit on his face and make him unable to be breathe, slick and cum running down his throat. by the end he leaves your entire body shaking.
for the ones with a dick/or with a strap-on:: be kind on him!! he's never sucked dick before so he's just like 'what do i do' as he stares at it. sure he's seen you do it but with him it's different. he doesn't want to hurt you. so you'll have to gently coax him and teach him the right way to grip and take it in his mouth. forgot to mention for the ones with pussies but this also works for the boys, he's such a messy eater. he's drooling and choking on your cock. after the first few times he learns it well but he still likes it when you guide him with a hand in his hair. fuck him raw !! seriously. he likes it rough. likes the burn and likes the feeling of being used.
imagine teaching him how to finger you. he's kissing and sucking on your soft tights as he experiments with one finger and then two and eventually makes it to three calling you so many pretty names.
sure he'd degrade you when he's fucking you. calling you a "stupid fucking slut" but foreplays different. praise drips out of him like it's second nature which is so shocking to you the first time.
he tries to be quiet in the beginning of learning everything for the sake of any dignity left. but once he starts putting his tip into your tight hole it's a game over for him.
he's lost in another dimension. he's never felt this kind of pleasure before so his head shoots off his shoulders when he sees you fuck yourself on his cock because he kinda just froze and you were impatient to get him inside you.
let's say this is after he becomes a pro-hero. denki and the rest of the gang probably got laid way before him cause he was trying to focus on hero work rather than relationships because "they were a distraction". so the only sex talk he hears are all the details through their shared gc. or on random drunken weekends, with few coherent words.
so obviously he thought everything was bs until he put in an inch in you. sorry guys but he wouldn't last 2 minutes once he's all the way in. he get's better at controlling himself but the first few times he cums way before you do and is so embarrassed at being such a bad boyfriend. you have to assure him it's okay and only natural. so he makes you cum another way to finish you off.
oh did i mention his thing with hair? he loves having his hair pulled. be it be when he's fucking you and you need something to hold onto or when you're guiding him to eat you out. he loves it. it's a different kind of pleasure that makes him so into it.
extra's::
he's vanilla till he thinks he's mastered all the basics then he indulges in all the kinks his partners into. there's some things he knows he wont try but every thing else he wont not try at least once. you can use your imagination for this one!
call him a "good boy" or a "very good boy" and he will melt on the spot. he lives for praises like have you seen the man?
he wouldn't have a breeding kink until he's in his late 30s or 40s before that he was very conscious of his cum. would always wear a condom to protect against sti's and pregnancy but once he's slowing down from hero work and wanting to settle down is when he'll unleash the beast.
folds you in ways that he's never done before so he knows that he will be filling you up to the max.
anyways i got off the point to dilf bakugou lmao (that's another time if anyone wants me) but anyways you get the jizz.
send in any requests like thirsts, or a short imagine, hc's, blurbs, one shots etc etc please please pleaseee i'll try to respond as soon as i can !!
#withoutyou#bakugou katsuki#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou#katsuki#bakugou katsuki x y/n#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou katsuki smut#bakugou katsuki x you#mha imagine#mha smut#bakugou katsuki imagine#mha one shot#virgin!bakugou#virgin!bakugou katsuki#virgin!bakugou x reader#virgin!bakugou katsuki x reader
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ok but CAN we talk about virgin bokuto because the thought has me foaming at the mouth
he's just so sensitive and needy :(
sucking bokuto sensitive nipples and he can't help but cum in his pants because it feels too good :(
ugh virgin!Bokuto is just *chefs kiss*
virgin!Bokuto who didn't really get serious about wanting to be intimate with someone well after his first official year with the Jackals. Who didn't have a non existent sex drive but one that he'd jerk off a few times a week to whatever was popular on Pornhub and then call it good. Who had an idea of how it worked and it felt nice but didn't spend too much thought on that. Until he met you.
virgin!Bokuto who can't get rid of his hard on. Jerking off daily and he can't keep his hands to himself. Who has been yelled at in the locker room multiple times but he just can't stop it. Every time he sees you it lingers with him days afterwards. Filling his head with lewd thoughts that plague him until he's fucking his own fist and moaning your name.
virgin!Bokuto who finally snags the ultimate catch. You. Nothing compares to how badly he needs you. Turning him into a mess just from the way you touch his arm and rest your hand on his thigh. None of it is hidden either. You catch on way before Bokuto wants to admit anything.
virgin!Bokuto who is a mess when you jerk him off for the first time. Thrusting, wiggling, moaning, panting, drooling. Big beef wing spiker reduced to a bitching moaning boy as he cums within seconds of you touching his cock. But he's so swallowed up in pleasure that you can overstim him without question. Bokuto can't get enough and babbles like a fool while he nods and begs for you.
virgin!Bokuto who lets you set the pace bc all he can think about is his cock buried inside you day in and day out. Anything you do to him has him rubbing himself to the thought of you. Until finally you just can't stand how pathetic he is anymore.
virgin!Bokuto who becomes your personal fuck toy bc he's a blank slate ready to do anything you want just to have you take his v-card <3
#virgin all of msby what are you talking about#all those fucking pros are virgins and im taking their virginity#threethirst#hq smut#hq#hq bokuto#haikyuu smut#haikyuu#bokuto x reader#bokuto smut#bokuto koutarou
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LETS GOOOO can i get uhhh hunger is human and/or im going to jail. just spouse things.
wip title tag
okayyyy hunger is human (named for joni mitchell lyrics..... sorry for desecrating your IP queen) was originally a much broader au in which obi-wan is primed to Doubt Everything early on and leaves the order after being asked to put the republic's interests ahead of jedi philosophy one too many times... orrrrrr maybe he just wanted to free up his schedule for extended trips to the outer rim to attend to his definitely casual and NOT code-breaking relationship with a mysterious prostitute from tatooine. who's to say!
despite the implications it was ultimately very pro-jedi and served as kind of a thesis on how leaving the order doesn't make one """"""gray"""""" but i abandoned the grand scheme of the au because i reached a point where i was having to retell canon events, which i cannot STAND reading in fic, and if it's not something i'm interested in reading there's no WAY i'm gonna take the time to write it. anyway i plucked out the smut, cleared away most of the plot references, and reworked it into a series of loosely-connected oneshots. the original themes still stand but it's def porn-forward now lmao. IF this next round of migraine treatment helps me return to writing regularly (god please) it'll prob be one of the first things i publish :3c
im going to jail is um. it's not that bad actually but after finishing mashi's secret santa gift i was dyinggggg to write something set in the gffa with full tilt virginity kink + barely-legal trophy twink anakin. obi-wan tries very hard to be a gentleman about it and fails catastrophically. here's an (unedited) ((nsfw)) snippet from the intro
The ultimate opportunity has been right in front of him for months now. Anakin is eighteen years old and simply must be untouched, with how oblivious he is to the advances of foreign dignitaries on seemingly every planet they visit. It’s all the more infuriating the longer Anakin is of age— if only he’d open his eyes and let someone else open his legs, take him off the table so Obi-Wan could get on with his life.
It simply couldn’t be that easy, though. Finding a young-ish pro in the lower levels and asking them to pretend had been enough until a particularly snarky young man was bouncing on his dick, flexing and moaning and pushing all the right buttons and honestly playing the part remarkably well, when…
“You’re a Jedi, aren’t you? Yeah, I recognize you. You should fuck that padawan of yours. I bet that’s what you really want.”
He’d managed to avoid thinking of that padawan until that moment, when those words conjured the image of Anakin riding his cock so ardently, Anakin’s slender hips slamming down onto his own, Anakin’s face twisted in ecstasy as he abruptly came, harder than ever, with a shocked gasp.
The pro smirked knowingly. “Thought so.”
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Responses from the Opera Screencaps Captioning Quiz
Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions-- there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):
(also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin for translating the German captions I got)
originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper
Responses:
(Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”
me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson
Introducing the polycule to the parents
*boom* ... did...you guys hear that too?
Ma Signor !
Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.
the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay
the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized
chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)
That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)-- closest
A Good Friday night
good omens (2019)
["the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief" meme] who's the boy and who's the mischief though????
Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating
Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.
I love my bird wife
Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance
throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child
When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature
angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)
draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show
What have I gotten myself into
Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who
A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.
A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby
There are three types of people on Halloween:
Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this...
oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!
gay brunch
Three little maids from school are we
guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back
those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.
Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility
When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers
"No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum."
originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini
Responses:
“In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1
"ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul"
what, YOU don't have a special eavesdropping chimney window?
Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch
man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating-- closest
when you end up third wheeling the straight couple
lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney
A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk
Idk Shakespeare?
experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins
Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting
Landlords laugh over student renter's misfortune
I never asked for this
Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear
voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease
Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!
lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?
human trafficking
And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!
Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress
A couple tortures a man in a box.
It's all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you-- okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept
Taking eavesdropping to the next level
Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out?
SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST—
overhearing how people talk about you when they think they're alone puts you in the shithouse
Does he know we can see him?
dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle
the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can
Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear
Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us
"Remember, don't feed him after midnight"
originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal
Responses:
“When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”
horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.
definitely don't have a napoleon complex going on
King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set
king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk
Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession
man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse
That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive
Who the fuck put a horse on the stage
isn't this that picture of napoleon on the horse
Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue-- closest
Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.
Night out with the lads
Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom
gay army fights different gay aesthetics-- hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz
Well at least I LOOK badass
ceasar if he hadn't gotten stabbed (colourised)
some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake
It’s just a model
Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?
Someone rides a horse statue in public.
Just a normal party with the bros.
what is this, some kind of crossover episode?
Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion
Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home:
All hail Incitatus the king
we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts
oh god is that hamilton
Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven
Gay <3
Officer: This horse... is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*
originally taken from: the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio
Responses:
That One kid in class
its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*
*record scratch* yeah, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here-- closest
Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done
left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown
the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep
lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we've all been there)
It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano-- sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.
That was a fake horse in the last photo right?
child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time
dissociation solves everything
I can't believe it's not butter
Honey we talked about this
My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural
child has nightmare of boring job
When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night
just an average day in a hetero marriage
what do i do my wife's having period cramps again
Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!
“No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”
Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.
When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!
Do you realize how effed you are?
Ugh, not this lecture again!
Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again
asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way
Will he shut up already!
no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj
this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway)
Me internally vs externally
Daddy issues
originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members
Responses:
It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein
why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on
I hate this itchy hat
Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours
people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank
pov: you’re a time traveler
guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos
No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind
Is this from Harry Potter?
disneyland main street usa workers on strike
local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.
"Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all"
“We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”-- not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)
dc movie filter on bridgerton
america?
looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again
Who still wears page boy hats bro?
Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That
Bitches are relieved at some party.
Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions
How tf do I act natural in this situation-- closest
“do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance”
It's too fucking hot outside for this outfit
?
when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different
pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up
Starting the pledge of allegiance be like
He's having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck
originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein
Responses:
“William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man" I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical
eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs
woooooorrrrd
Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.
what my professors think they look like
Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders
'and since you've now graduated high school, you'll be entering college etc. blablabla' .........meanwhile, there's a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)
Jonas darling baby <3-- can’t argue with that
I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera
ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can't fool me.
"as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor"
"Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!"
Graduation speakers are out, singers are in
Senior year takes a new meaninbg
mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women
Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like
younger boris johnson (derogatory)
jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking
What a fine graduation evening we’re having today
-70 points for slytherin you all have no swag
A man with a college hat sings.
An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody
How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years
East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-
I may not have been "cool" in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!
I finally got my GED!
that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated
he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk
Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times
Smrt
originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)
Responses:
There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming
jinkies
femme fatale (including to herself)
I’ll have a threesome soon !
Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.
thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex
When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again
jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it's not the way! stay alive! i love you!!
The throuple is thriving
Get off the milf
orgy
my last three braincells because im a horny slut
countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react
Rasputin's lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia
Woman's soul leaves body
Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex
bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples
When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy
Jesus cumming
one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody's drunk
What have I done
Hozier??????????
Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.
This time, the chick IS the magnet
An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)
What do you mean they canceled GLOW?
“I TOLD you it was cashmere!”
Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.
It's not what it looks like!
jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.
jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch
I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!
Shrek 5, jesus's return
c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)
just about all of these are close lol
originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc
Responses:
Don’t look, I’m still pooping
yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me
*i can't even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*-- closest
Cospeto!
„No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“
when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up
When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me
right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao
Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”
Yeah I got nothing
gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she's a twink. she's not amused but she's watching this happen anyway
me tired of MET's bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)
"stop smiling at me like that I'm trying to pout over here"
"I got fleas, you got fleas... wanna fuck?"
I have the best idea!
Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy
lesbian is bothered by dilf
Me trying to flirt
if call me by your name was hetero and set in america
how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode
So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.
What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????... unless??
Two people flirt in a poor place of town/
"If you ask me what I've got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in"
You look like ur gonna kill me but ok
Really? You again?
Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.
Have you seen Godot?
she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.
idk pick better pictures-- I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS
200% done with your crap
Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves
originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me
Responses:
The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy
dear god its hiddeous
Capitalism
Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.
ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet
„Stop! He feels bullied!“
'this is my newest take for jesus's crucifixion crown ...... what do you mean they already put him up'
That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK-- closest
Omg I love the adventure zone!
minesweeper (windows xp)
"Okay whatever you do don't touch the shiny spiky ball" "It's so shiny I wanna touch it"
Taking down the trash way too late
IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM
Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer.... again. Leia isn’t happy
Star Wars 2030
“And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “
futuristic kkk
long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire
Put it down put it down put it down
“Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”
A weird ass crown is presented
The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong
How it feels to want something that u cant have
AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY
I know it's risky but... lube me up
?
use the force luke.
that is a weird fleshlight
When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it
Touch the orb
originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar
Responses:
When no one comes to your birthday party :(
fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot
i really wonder who he thinks he's playing footsie with
Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table-- closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).
the last supper afterparty after jesus left
When you order the last supper on wish
espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag
Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table
Now THIS is a Good Friday night
this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11
that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her
After the last supper
Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour
When the cishets aren’t home
waiter hides from customers
Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:
what's left of the homies Jesus had dinner with
university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong
I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES
Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv
Someone hids under a table
"You're about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work"
5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:
They never invite me to their parties!
Just another girl’s night in
Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.
dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)
just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)
Just a normal day with the boys
Thievery
originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde
Responses:
Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?
holy disco
Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.
catholicism
me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)
jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him
Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk
Lord of the rings?
ewww christianity gross
"behold, I am Important"
"Seriously?? It's not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!"
Jesus at the Disco
Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem
disco is heaven
Want to join my new religion?
the kkk
church christmas pageant where everyone's sober but it's based on the director's fever dream
Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay...
“Oh god I think I’m starting my period”
A party is held with a priest in the middle
"Let's get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!"
The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!
You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but...I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”
Jesus visits Hogwarts
I must really stink if no one will even come close to me
the extra ass funeral i DESERVE
star wars life day
A cult at it’s best-- closest
Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess
originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida
Responses:
When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot
loyalist of subjects
bow before your queen
They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.
somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral
Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server
mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass-- closest
That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit
I can’t even tell what’s going on here
8th grade school assembly about how it's uncool to shit on the walls at school
let's all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one's hard lol)
"Yes i am a time traveller, now don't freak out"
Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills
White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over-- OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)
dead man gives speech at his own funeral
brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing
high society social function ends in mass murder-- right opera, wrong scene
Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog
Black-dressed bitches worship a man.
Worst school assembly of all time
POV:You're the window in the classroom and someone said "its snowing"
When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert
That's what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong
?
theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal
oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,
A funeral, stop wearing so much black
I want to slap their bald heads like rice
originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo
Responses:
Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off...”
if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea
it was the best of times, it was the worst of times
Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.
priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-
when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft
lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking
Again. Too many black costumes
Loved this Dostoevsky novel
i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl
me on parties lol
"imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted"
"Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!"
Everyone act normal!
The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk
man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover
boys ???? night
the priest really shouldn't have visited the insane asylum-- closest
He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before
Something happens in a room.
Perks of being a wallflower
There's always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna
Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here...
The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene
Quick!
the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.-- also accurate
the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away
...I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission
Queers help fellow queer do math but it's a struggle
#opera#opera tag#results#screencaps#captions#caption#caption this#caption contest#this seems to have gone over well and I am Pleased
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Ok hellooooooo!
What about bakugo, todoroki and kirishima with a S/O that isn’t a virgin. Feel free to skip this if you want. Have a good day and I love your writing
Sorry I was responding to this late, I've been busy with school and other things. Thank you for liking my writing if feel as if it isn’t that good but anyways. Lets get on with this request. Also I haven’t forgotten about the other request I am almost done with writing those but this one seems quick and easy and doesn’t take out a lot of my time.
WARNINGS: ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+ but even if you are a minor I try to write these as PG-13 as I can :) Gender Neutral reader, maybe some mentions of female anatomy as well as male anatomy. Also many sexual terms are written in this. If this turns into full on smut I am sorry. no im not lmao. Anyways enjoy!
KASTUKI BAKUGO
Now I feel like Bakugo isn’t a virgin but here me out. He’s had sex but he’s not that experienced. none of class 1-a is but that post is for another time. He’s had like maybe one or two hook ups the max. He really doesn’t care for sex he just wants to be the number one hero, heck just a good hero at most.
But when Bakugo meets his s/o his views have changed. Now I am not saying he immediately saw them and though ‘sex sex sex sex’ no he is a gentlemen whether you guys like it or not. He treats everyone the same, he hates everyone. I headcanon that Bakugo is pro-choice and is part of the feminism movement but again that is for another time.
No when he met his s/o he fell in love so hard that even lucifer was like damn. get it because lucifer fell from heaven, he went from an angel to the devil? no okay anyways. Yeah he would call them a dumbass and other names at time but he was softer with them. He wasn't the angry Pomeranian around you. i mean at times he still was but it lessened. Anyways.
When he and his s/o were making out on his bed after a hard day of him training. Yes his s/o was not in the heroics course but they would often train with Bakugo to help he get better even though he was one of the best. But this angry child didn’t want to be one of the best, he wanted to be the best. Elizabeth you are getting carried away but details matter, my English teachers told me so. But they also told me that rambling with details does not matter. Okay I better hurry up with this :-:
So back to that making out on his bed. Yeah it escalated to him pinning them down and planting kisses on there jaw, which turns his s/o on ever more. It eventually went from slow kisses from their aw all the way to their clothed sex. But this as happened before you see. Bakugo had made his s/o orgasm so many times with his tongue and his fingers and his s/o has mad him orgasm several times with either a blowjob/hand job, or other ways.
But this time both were ready to take it further, but what Bakugo didn’t know was that his s/o wasn’t a virgin. He thought ‘ahh I am going to be their first’ which would boost his ego. But when he looks his s/o he is surprised.
“Katsuki just so you know, I’m not a virgin” His s/o says with a bashful looks. yeah I am not going to say with a blush covering their face because I know some of my readers are poc and blush doesn’t appear on their face as well as others, i would know, as i am also poc, i'm getting carried away again.
Yeah that statement hurt his ego a bit, but then he grinned. This mother-
“It’s okay baby I ain’t either, but just know this. I am going to rock your world” He leans into to whisper into his s/o’s ear. When he pulled away knowing he gave them shivers, he looks them in the face and winks. Yeah Katsuki and his s/o were going to have a long night.
SHOTO TODOROKI
I am sorry to all the Shoto fans, aka me, who think this man is a sex god. He is awkward and because of Endeavour, FUCK YOU, he doesn’t know about many things. So do you really expect him to know what sex is.
Okay listen before you attack me, he knows what it is, he isn’t that innocent. He know sex is something that adults do to release some tension or to do for fun. But he is a hardcore virgin. He has never been turned on. Accidentally saw Momo’s boobs and turned away to respect her. I hope you guys know what scene I am talking about. He wasn’t turned on by that. Class 1-A talking about things that turn them on, none of the things they mention make him blush. AGAIN FUCK YOU ENDEAVOUR WHY COULDN’T HE HAVE A NORMAL CHILDHOOD. anyways.
But he met his s/o while he was just two years out of U.A. He was 20 which means he was allowed to drink. In Japan the legal drinking age is 20 while here in the US the legal drinking age in 21. anyways.
He decided to go out with his group of friends, no not just the Dekusquad come on I feel like by now he has made more friends. So his man walks up into the club with a undercut. UNDER CUT TODOROKI BARK BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF WOOF. To bless you eyes I will post some links t o the fanart. 1, 2, 3, 4.
He is wearing like a white dress shirt with the two buttons undone and some blacked ripped skinny jeans and for his shoes its the classic dress shoes, PLS CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM WEARING SOMETHING LIKE THAT. I post a link here of the inspiration. Now if you clicked on the link the is what he is wearing except the shirt and white and the pants are black of but the shoes are black dress shoes. anyways
That is were he meets his s/o but I won’t go into detail unless that is something you want to write about then comment that. Eventually the two hit it off and becomes friends then lovers.
Yeah the first Shoto and his s/o met they didn’t immediately have sex. Shoto isn’t like that despite what the fanfics say. But it’s the time where lovers get turned on by each other, and for once in his life he wants sex. He desires it. Like a hunger, if he doesn’t feed it he slowly go crazy. Okay maybe not that dramatic but do yo see my point?
So one day the two are making out on the couch. S/o is grinding themselves onto his lap and soft moans are escaping their lips, which Shoto softly groans, those groans are deep within his throat. Eventually his dick is out of his pants and s/o is sucking on it. Those groans are eventually coming out and slowly are turning into moans. But when it’s finally time to put himself inside of them. Whether that be from in front or behind. I LAUGH AT THAT SENTENCE NOOO.
He stops which makes his s/o question his actions. That's when Shoto decides it finally time to let his s/o know.
“S/o I need to inform you something”
Shoto now is really not the time to be formal, I mean come on you s/o is naked in front of you and is ready to take you in, but still his s/o listens. S/o nods their head letting Shoto know that he an continue.
“I’m, I am...I am a virgin” His breath was shaky. Heck I would to, and I know some of you guys would too with yall virgin asses, its okay I’m a virgin too, we Virgin Mary up in this house. AJDJD I’ll stop.
But luckily for him his s/o understands. They were just like this before. So instead of being disgusted or angry that he didn’t tell them earlier, they instead grab his face and give his a soft and passionate kiss. They tell him that it’s okay and if they don’t want to this then it is okay. But Todoroki being the Todoroki he is. Can we all agree that the Todoroki’s have a breeding kink. I mean their father is Endeavour the No.1 Hero. They have to have that kink. Anyways. He tells them he wants to continue and he also tells them that the only person he would let take his virginity away is his s/o.
Instead of the full on smut like most fics have this night is just filled with lovemaking and praises. And yes the two moves to the bed to make this nigh memorable.
EIJIRO KIRISHIMA
THIS SWEET ANGEL DESERVES THE WORLD.
He is a virgin like Todoroki, but unlike Todoroki, he has touched himself and as seen porn, like most virgins have, it’s a virgin thing I’m pretty sure. So he has experience in somethings. But not when it comes to pleasing someone.
Out of all the ways he could have met his s/o this one is by far the funniest. You see this s/o is very cheeky and being n the support department of U.A. this s/o was best friends with Mei and would work together to work on the students costume. But when the s/o heard to Kirishima wanting some improvements, they did not hesitate to inform him that they could do it. Yeah this s/o was slightly greatly turned on by his quirk, the literal name is hardening like ;-;
So of course s/o made Kirishima use his quirk to see what they could make for his quirk. They would never admit it but technically they didn't need him to use his quirk, they just wanted to see it up close.
Well months past by and the two are dating but unlike Todoroki or Bakugo, they immediately are into sex. Yeah it’s always the sweet angels and the quiet ones that are the dirtiest. So when the time comes up to insert himself into his s/o IDK WHY THIS MAKES ME CACKLE. CHILE ANYWAYS. He tells them before things get out of hand.
“So you’re a virgin huh?” S/o asked, Eijiro nodded at their question. His s/o sits up and places many kisses on his face which makes him laugh.
“Look I’m not a virgin but if you want and I can be the one to take yours away? Is that alright angel” Kirishima literally melts at that nickname, but he is quick to nod. Yeah he wanted them to take away is virginity because he knew he wanted them for life. And lets just saw after the first round Dom Kirishima came into play and it was the best sex his s/o has every had.
ELIZABETH’S RANTS:BEEP BEEP. Sorry that Kirishima’s wasn’t as long as the others, I am sick and my head is starting to hurt but yeah thank you for requesting this. It was fun. Also if there are any typos I am sorry but I don’t feel like going over this and checking. Also if you saw me thirsting over Todoroki then no you didn’t.
P.S. HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVORTIE ZADDY, SHOTA AIZAWA.I was busy that day and was also sick so I couldn’t say anything. Anyways have a nice day demon children
#marsandsaturn©️#character x reader#todoroki shoto x reader#shoto todoroki#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugo smut#todoroki fluff#mha todoroki#todoroki smut#kirishima eijirou#mha smut#mha fluff#my hero academia#bnha#✨marsandsaturn’s masterlist
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My Kacchako reading list
My personal shortlist of the most unforgettable Kacchako fics I’ve read and currently reading, as well as planning to read! These are just those I can name at the top of my head so I probably might have missed some and will add later on once I remember. Most are rated M/E (because I am a sucker for Kacchako smut bahaAHHAA)
HAVE READ / ONESHOT / COMPLETE
A Little Bit Closer by mignonettes (a Ground Zero...dildo?!)
A Softer World Prompt 46 by i-masshiro (kchk as exes. They never really got over each other)
A Sweet Surprise by ohmytheon (Ochako bakes Bakugou a birthday cake)
Again by corinnemaree (After Bakugo gives Ocha her first kiss, she just cant get enough)
All Work and No Play by mignonettes (one of the hottest kchk smuts imo)
Angel and Demon by EmeraldWaves (Ochako is a tease)
Apricity by i-masshiro (Christmas kchk; honesty hour for our babies, very cute)
As If to Say by calamansifresh (can’t get enough of a straightforward Bakugo. fluff!)
As We Minimize the Space by calamansifresh (Ochako’s obsession: touching Bakugo. hot smut)
Quiet by IchigoKacchan (twitter thread turned Ao3, HOT)
Bakudonis by Ichigo_Kacchan (1-A drooling over shirtless Bakugo)
Benign Masochism by windigop (Stripper Bkg. That’s it. I’m sold)
Best Birthday Ever by crystymre (A twitter thread full of fluff and everything nice uwu)
Biting the Bullet by MockingbirdSoul (one of the BEST kchk sexual tension fics EVAR)
Conflict Resolution by Colorslander (Bakugo is bad at feelings, yes)
Delivery Incoming by mignonettes (drunk Bakugo loves his girlfriend so much. VERY CUTE)
Drinks series by BlueTee (ahh!! drunk kchk!! isso!! cute!!! AHH)
Fight Night by ohmytheon (Ochako: *breaks Bakugo’s nose* Bakugo: im so turned on rn)
First Date Etiquette by Methoxyethane (smut and humor are /chefs kiss/)
Fleeting Emotions by EmeraldWaves (series of oneshots! includes tdmm and kmjr! fave is #4)
Fragile by Virtually Forgotten (another series of oneshots! fluff/angst/smut i’m in love)
Fuck or Die: Bakugo birthday edition by Italian_Lily (lust quirk and coming 7 times omg)
Fuck or Die by mignonettes (twitter thread; ochako hit by a quirk that makes ya horny)
Gentle Hands by corinnemaree (it takes a while for Bakugo to process that Ocha kissed him)
Girl of His Dreams by NamiSwaannn (Bakugo has very /vivid/ dreams abt Ochako)
good together by tusslee (kchk sext this is so hot asjdkhaf)
Hero Analysis and Application by SakuraDrops93 (slow-burn kchk wholesome content, except for chapter 28, ish)
Hot Lavender Latte by calamansifresh (coffee shop AU! cute and wholesome and fluffy)
How’s The Weather by crystymre (how the ending is written is the BEST)
I Don’t Care by SakuraDrops93 (MY. MOST. FAVORITE. NON-SMUT kchk oneshot)
I Don’t Compete by crystymre (kchk pro-hero AU. hot and sweet and cute)
If Heartbreak by i-masshiro (if you don’t want to have your heart broken, DONT READ THIS. </3)
Irresistible by ElanaDrex (lust quirk again, but dayum this hot)
Kill, Fuck, Marry by stillfly94 (twitter thread; we love an angry dork Bakugo)
Late Night Sweets by jarynw02 (so cute omg! Bakugo soft only for Chako)
Misfit Love by Ichigo_Kacchan (Bakugo bought a new desk and Ochako didnt like it. yet)
Morning Dew by calamansifresh (we need kchk morning sex in our lives)
No One Else by thesweetestnerd (again, Ochako being a hot tease)
Not Afraid by omytheon (Spin the bottle. Bakugo to kiss Ochako, then it gets complicated)
once bitten by wonduhhwoman/still.fly (vampire ochako oneshot. help, this is too hot.)
one juicy peach by still.fly (the first kcck i’ve read. it’s hot and beautiful ;_; sweet bakugo)
Partition by Ichigo_Kacchan (based on Beyonce’s Partition, Kacchako multitasks in limo)
[Prompt]Sweet Surprise Vday KCCK by italian_lily (Bakugo helps Ochako make cake)
Protect and Kill by ohmytheon (AU, Ocha is FBI agent and Baku is assassin)
quality time by still.fly (kcck as roommates. fluff!)
Quarantine Thread by Megadoodle (soooo cute!!!)
Quiet Time by ohmytheon (Deku overhears kcck on the top bunk doing...things)
say it and i’m yours by yaomomochi (aquarium date!!!)
Sparks by ohmytheon (secret relationship + blind date)
Stress Relief by Italian_lily (exactly how I would picture a kchk sparring smut scene tbh)
Suds ‘n’ Sweat by mignonettes (kcck in laundry and ya know what happens)
Summer Hoodies by mythica magic (Ochako in Bakugo’s sweater hrrrmm)
Take a Break by ohmytheon (pro-hero Kchk doing it in the workplace to relieve stress)
The Dark Web by ohmytheon (another hot kchk sexual tension comin’ right up!!!)
The feeling that isn’t entirely unpleasant by mysterious intentions (fluffy HS kchk!)
The Final Countdown by ohmytheon (New Year’s countdown, first kiss, pure kchk fluff <3)
The Five Times It’s Fake and the One Time It Isn’t by mignonettes (fake dating AU!)
thought that i was dreaming by lianhuawu (kchk post AFO-fight. sweet huhu)
Un Pour Tous by mignonettes (coffee shop AU, fluff!)
VIP Pass by HikoCassidy (oooh a drummer Bakugo)
warm light on a winter’s day by wonduhhwoman (soulmates kchk, stuck in cabin for winter)
Worthy by Tharros (drunk Ochako again + sweet “friend” Bakugo)
Yes or No is Not a Trick Question by silv3rbloodalch3mist (ANOTHER. FAVORITE. Honest Bakugo is hot)
Yours, If You Wanted by calamansifresh (bakugo and his hidden crush mehehe)
CURRENTLY READING / ONGOING
Aquating Training Session by BeMore (happens before camping arc; w/ tdmm!)
Boyfriend-Girlfriend Things by silv3rbloodalch3mist (ahh another one from a fave author!)
Little Do You Know by fullondisclosure (soulmates with a twist!)
Make it wit chu by Ichigo_Kacchan (a One night stand/FwB Kacchako)
Mr. Brightside by SakuraDrops93 (MY. MOST. FAVORITE! RECENTLY UPDATED AHH)
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell by Ms_Chunks (very long but very good asdhajf kchk quirk dynamic)
floaty ‘splodey fic series by ishkabibble_bafflegab (every fic in this series is /hearteyes/)
Hot Cocoa & Chill by FrenchK (uwu i’m soft)
Seeing Double by knifekirby (Fantasy AU! I’m in love with this!)
The Reaper by thevoidyouknow (kchk roommates, virgin ocha and horny bakugo)
(Touch Me) Kill Each Other Slowly by corinnemaree (vampire!bkg)
there is something wrong with uravity by onlyfm (again with the horny quirk. yes)
We Can Never Be Friends by crystymre (reading this on twitter it’s so fun and hot omg)
why don’t you say so by frazzledazzle (all dialogue; all interesting drabbles! love this!)
You Lost by NanaHachikoSan (this is just hot dirty hahaha)
TO READ
A Different Perspective by house_of_pixels
actuality by still.fly
Among a Crowd of Faces by miraimisu
Bakugou Katsuki is Going to Become A Friendly Guy Even if it Kills Him by pisces-royalty
Blanket Pals by miraimisu
Clocks and Blades by Pomoon
Closer by Ichigo_Kacchan
downplay it by seconddaysea
Fall by crystymre
Finding Our Normal by theGingerTrekie
Floating Embers by megwritesfanfiction
Grounded by ElenaDrex
He Who Always Left First by miraimisu
Hot-headed by MoofyKitten
In Hindsight by infantblue
It’s Just Training by LaMuerta
It’s Our Secret, Angel Face by thesweetestnerd
Kacchako Week 2019 entries by BlueTee
Lie for Me by lovecassia
Limerence by KarmaHope
Make Me Forget by Chio Saki
Midnight Terrain by stillfly94
No One Knows by Ichigo_Kacchan
Noblesse Oblige by EmeraldWaves & Superevey
On the Rainbow Road by ohmytheon
One Day at a Time by jarynw02
Out of the Town by jarynw02
Popcorn for Breakfast by Ichigo_Kacchan
[Prompt]Glimpse into the Future by italian_lily
Something New by megwritesfanfiction
The Boys Start the War and the Girls Get Even by crystymre
The Heist by katschako
The Need Inside You by ohmytheon
the shape of your words by nascence
The Wonderful World of Jealousy by ohmytheon
These Stones We Skip by miraimisu
With the Touch of My Staff by miraimisu
If you can recommend me some (I’m pretty sure there are a lot of beautiful Kacchako fics out there I might’ve missed bc srsly this fandom has SO MANY talented writers), feel free to leave them in the comments and I’ll be more than happy to add them here
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also a little rant about this abortion law that makes my blood boil:
i am not a us citizen. this law does not affect me in any way. or so you might think.
it affects every person who may face a pregnancy, abortion and miscarriage. they - fucking white men who have NOTHING to do with our bodies and choices - take away the right to have a choice. im fucking pissed. this is not right. everyone who faces abortion has a RIGHT to have it. this is not “anti-life”, for fuck’s sake, there isn’t any life there in the six weeks’s period!!!!!!! why the fuck would you decide for women what to do with their bodies?!?!?!?!?!? a baby might be unwanted. a person might be not ready - mentally, physically, financially. “don’t have sex then”. suck my dick then. would ya?
IF YOU’RE TELLING A WOMAN TO STOP HAVING SEX TO AVOID ABORTION REMEMBER THAT SEX - IS A PROCESS WITH TWO PARTICIPANTS!!!! WOMEN GET PREGNANT BECAUSE MEN CUM INSIDE THEM!!! NOT BECAUSE OF ANY OTHER REASON!!! TELL MEN TO STOP HAVING SEX THEN TOO!!!!!!!!
it concerns someone like me, who lives across the ocean, so much because it should concern everyone. no matter who you are - you should be, you must be against this law. it’s OUR reproductive rights. WE get to decide what WE do with OUR bodies. those people, who passed this law, and i cant stress this enough - are almost all men. white men. they already have all the power in the world, but, no, now they need to have absolute power over women’s bodies.
i have had this absolute dream to move to the usa. because this country is much more progressive than mine. or so i thought.
in my country they’ve recently made a law forbidding us from criticizing the government or the president on the internet. they have been talking about banning abortion for years now. our constitution tells us, that the government and church are separated, but the church is ranting on how it’s important to ban abortion constantly and, im afraid, one day our president will agree and ban it because of the church’s influence. and you know what’s the scariest thing? my parents are sided with the church. as well as the majority of people in this country. my mother believes that virginity equals purity, and that if a woman gets pregnant it’s her fault and she shouldn’t have had sex. horrible, right? well, its typical for our country. and our government never listens to us. our government ignores the fact that women want to decide what to do with their bodies themselves. reminds you of something, yeah?
we all must be against this abortion ban. i wont stop saying that, not on here, not on the platform where i can express my thoughts without fear and shame. it affects every woman, every person. abortion is a choice. “pro-life” is anti-choice. fuck everyone who supports abortion ban. fuck you.
sorry about this rant but i just had to express my thoughts somewhere
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Apple Bourbon Habanero Sauce
Nothing says fall in Canada, like the smell of fresh Ontario Macintosh Apples and the sweet taste of a good bourbon. f
Im Drinking: Coors Light Tall Boys
And Spinning: Outlaw Country
Ingredients:
5 Ontario Macintosh Apples (i love the sweetness of the Mac, but you could any apple if you have a favourite. This link will take you to a flavour profile for all Ontario apples)
12 Habanero Peppers
1 Medium Red Onion
The Juice of 2 Limes
1 cup of Water
2 Cups of Apple Cider Vinegar
Thumbnail Chunk of Fresh Ginger
2.5oz of Bourbon
½ - ¾ Cup Red Path Demerara Sugar
A couple of pinches of salt
1TBSP Bertolli Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Time to get peeling, coring and slicing those apples. This gal shows an easy way to peel and core apples....However i said “fuck it” and bought one of these little gems.
Once you’ve gotten through the apples, its time to tray the Apples, Onions, Ginger, and Habanero’s. Turn on the over to 400 Degrees and roast for approx 10min.
Remove the tray from the oven.....Throw a TBSP of oil in your pot and Sautee the Onion, Ginger and Apples for a minute of so. Then add the Apple Cider Vinegar, Water, Lime juice, and Seeded Habanero’s. ( I tend to roast my peppers whole, and then seed them under cold water in the sink...I find by doing this, Im able to avoid turning my kitchen in to a gas chamber)
Now its time to say goodbye to your glass of bourbon and pour 2.5oz in to the mix. I made the mistake of using a bottle of Basil Hayden....Learn from my mistakes...Go get yourself some Bulliet for cooking and excessive drinking while cooking....Its a wonderful starter bourbon and comes in at 1/3 the price of Basil Hayden.
Add half the brown sugar, and simmer for 20-25min.
TIme to break out the trusty ol’ Betty Crocker Immersion blender and hit this mix.
Let cool, and jar it up! I go though so much of this stuff I actually don’t always go through the whole canning process...however to get the best shelf life, you should. You can follow the instructions here from Canadian canning experts Bernardin. They’ve been doing this shit for over 100yrs...and Ive only been doing it for a hot minute....so go with the pros.
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Taylor Swift Vs Taylor Swift
IN THE CIRCUIT COURT FOR NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE
Taylor Swift
Address Sealed
VS
Taylor Swift
Big Machine records
1219 16th Ave S,
Nashville, TN 37212
COMPLAINT
PLAINTIFF, Taylor Swift, comes this day, Novemeber 3rd, pro se, and for the reasons and causes for this Complaint, states as follows:
COUNT I, II, III IV VII VI: Criminal Harassment, Cyber Harassment, Intentional Emotional Distress, Conspiracy, Fraud, Cyber Crime, Information Warfare (False)
1. Plaintiff, Taylor Swift, had a temporary lag in mental state back in 2014 which lasted a very brief amount of time in which she temporarily opened a tumblr talking about celebrities. I did not at any time talk to a celebrity via any platform. I merely mentioned their CELEBRITY in passing like a billion other people have done. ANY CELEBRITY that is aware of my presence should honestly kill them kill themselves. I am a nobody. People of that status should not know I exist. And it speaks volumes of MY character that It took a health scare or something out of the ordinary to mention these celebrities at all. I respect everyone but these are two worlds that should not collide for obvious reasons.
2. To be quite honest Taylor Swift was not mentioned AT ALL Selena Gomez was mentioned very briefly. I don’t get into CELEBRITIES at all beyond nice song. Me being temporarily out of character caused it to appear like I give a fuck about any of their lives. I don’t. But maybe it was retaliation on her behalf. The only reason ANY of their names came up was because some of their songs highlights event romantic dates between me and a ex love interest during a bad time. I don’t get into celebrities life Im near thirty what do I look like?
3. I did highlight my birthday was in MAY and me being temporarily in a lag of mental state I attached myself to Justin Timberlake’s Mirror’s video. In which he put his hand against the glass. Something Taylor Swift has mimicked in her Ready For It Video. The mental lag was very temporary but Taylor is the only celebrity unwilling to let It go and it lasted VERY briefly and SHE WAS NOT DISCUSSED. Yet here we are Two nearly three years later and she still appropriating me into her songs. Into her celebrity. And giving a bunch of strangers the indication she knows anything of me or about me on ANY level. The information she did collect via criminal activity she has grossly exaggerated and the other half is false.
4. I was also contemplating a suit against Taylor Swift previously. I have in my EMAIL slaughtered the whore in case any of them are criminals and its proven to be true. I thought it strange her songs were on point with events in my life. Which it has. She has no blackmail on me But I have been taking shots because she created VIDEOS surrounding another big case in which a song of hers is mentioned. The songs correlates to the suit and while I didn’t watch her do ANYTHING BAD BLOOD BLANK SPACE WILDEST DREAMS AND NOW READY FOR IT were all made around the time the events with the company I’m suing happened. In fact 1989 her cd was released 6 months after the events happened and started. Giving her time to write songs and create videos about my life in a harassing malicious defamatory nature. and majority of it is slander against me. Like I like Wildest Dreams but she CREATED A false story in the video even SWAYS MY CIVIL SUIT if I put any emphasis on the video in my OTHER suit. I’d accept a GIFT a nice song a nice video but WHAT SHE DID WAS SLANDER MY NAME and she is attempting to turn me into a pseudo celebrity by identifying me with my birthday. I enjoy anonymity. She is trying to steal that sneakily with the hand against the glass. 5. May. It’s a fucking suit, Bitch has lost her fucking MIND, The lapse in mental state happened between middle of 2014 through 2015 middle of 2015. The mental state did not last a year but songs related to what happened continued to be made By Taylor Swift in a years time including and up today. The suits is just now coming to a head this year. But the suit is from events from 2014 up till now. Blank space talks about Matts—the previous love interest email his email address is [email protected] I have excess skin on my stomach. Slight and not a big deal. It was only in EMAILS. No one should have known that. That video skirted around it and made up a story. About my body. There was also Bad Blood was made may 17th 2015. This all started the first week of May. It has Selena dressed in a two piece out fit at a company which is My suit against a company. I wore a two piece dress to a company function with a love interest Again NOONE should have known these things. They were not mentioned on Tumblr or ANY public setting or communication. These things were pasted in my email. What I talked about on twitter was Beyonce and to my knowledge she has not responded. As she shouldn’t. It was an outer space event. Never happening again and shouldn’t have happened before. Wildest Dream’s video was made August 31, 2015. This is literally a year AFTER the incident happened. She is highlighting the yellow which is the theme for my suit against the company and she recreated the night on the boat with my love interest but she inserted a part in which didn’t happen or created a story which creates a story for the defendants. But the song with out the video highlights in perfect detail Matt’s and ‘Is night on the boat. The video steals her gift. It now becomes criminal harassment defamatory and humiliating. That means Taylor was in my emails, And the whore owes me money and might even need jail time. I DON’T play those game. I’m about to end the whore. Just so I have everything listed BLANK SPACE WILDEST DREAMS READY FOR IT BAD BLOOD and SHAKE IT OFF. THESE ARE her popular songs off her 1989 cd. I haven’t heard the 1989 cd and don’t plan to listen. I’m requesting it be scrapped from air play and all her videos be removed from tv and youtube. And I want damages. Shake it OFF shows a black woman shaking her ass or twerking something I have never done. There was something in my search results with another ---- with a different last name and a twerk video and Taylor created a video about shaking something off that had nothing to do with me off Bitch Lost her mind. I’m a virgin. I wouldn’t be caught dead shaking anything anywhere. Not my style. Bitch needs to shake off vagina that’s been EVERYWHERE and publicized by her. LMAO Another moraless whore without class. What is it 7 8 9. Never in this life. Let me add here I do not KNOW this woman. I listen to some of her songs but there is no reason she should have taken interest in my life. I do not have family that are celebrities. The Bitch looks crazy. Now I would be interested to know if she has some ties to CMDI or an affiliate. The company is a republican affiliate. So that would give me proof that the defendants I have listed under CMDI are fit for a jail cell. The videos and or songs are favoring CMDI and their made up delusion.
5. Im going to add here tentaviley I am agrreing right now this is just me mind reading and covering all bases. Im REACHING in this last paragraph but I will suffer for it. But I find it weird nearly her whole cd I perused the lyrics to the other songs and they are filled with memories with Matt. I find it extremely creepy and invasive that she she has created a romantic collection of songs but then appears like she is attacking me in songs and putting words in my mouth. If she has any personal interest Matt I’m adding jail time. I’m seriously interested to know why she created a WHOLE cd bout MY life and by extension Matt’s life. I will not here I’ve noticed that Matt tweets celebrities using his work twitter I am not sure this fixation of Taylors is Old or Whether it was new based off what happened in 2014. Its extremely PATHETIC on ALL levels. I mean extremely pathetic. And sick.
Please note on my computer I have a different form due to copying the screen twice and getting two different pages. But it has been established this cd was released 6 months AFTER the events with CMDI and the events being put in my email started in May 2014
Relief—I want the sum of Taylor Swift’s networth which according to google Is 280 Million.. I want ALL OF 1989 removed from airway. I want a public apology form TAYLOR swift admitting guilt and apologizing for using her celebrity and platform to interfere in an anonymous person’s life and causing humiliation to an already victimized victim. I do not want to be addressed directly. I wish to keep my anonymity in tact. I want her to be humiliated like she tried to do me. I am being punished because I am white TRASH. Etc ETC. If it proven a romantic interest appears on ITHER end Im asking TAYLORS Music career be wiped AWAY. Cleaned. Broad lost her ever fucking mind.
This line has been added against the suit against the company I'm suing as well but due to Taylor Swift being a celebrity and having many fans and connections this suit will be sealed. I am also stating that should I suffer death or any other bodily harm Taylor Swift and any other guilty party suffer the death penalty to include torture.
_____________________
Taylor Swift,Plaintiff
Address Sealed
Respectfully submitted,
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1000 Question Challenge
Hey rats, I have decided to do the 1000 question challenge because I'm still at home and bored as hell so either read it or ignore idc.Because i did all of these bitches at once and it took me two hours i challenge all of you rats because i fucking hated that lmao. k bye.
1000 Question Survey
The Basics
1.) Your name: Abigail
2.) Nicknames: Abby, Abs, and Abbers
3.) Do you like these nicknames?: Sure
4.) Location: USA- Indiana
5.) Age:18.
6.) Birthday: June 14th
7.) Zodiac sign: Gemini
8.) Parents names: Iige & Anne
9.) Siblings?: 2 younger brothers
10.) Pets: I have 3 cats: Rudy, Oliver & Mary Francis, One Fish: Spoopy
11.) Number of rooms in your house: Like 18? Idk
12.) Religion: Catholic
13.) If so-practicing?: Yea Boi
14.) Male or Female?: Female.
15.) Is your family close?: In a way
What are your favorite
16.) Foods: ITALIAN
17.) TV shows: Parks N Rec, 30 Rock, Arrested Development, New Girl, Grey’s Anatomy, Friends and basically anything else on my Netflix list
18.) Movies: Pulp Fiction, Narnia Movies, High School Musical, Evita, Mamma Mia and a lot
19.) Actors: Dylan O’Brien
20.) Actresses: Julie Andrews is my grandma
21.) Books: I’m a Harry Potter girl. And Shane Dawson’s books are fab
22.) Artists: Little Mix, Halsey, Drake and Beyonce
23.) Types of Music: Everything but country lmao
24.) Video Games: MarioKart for days
25.) Computer Games: 2048??
26.) Outfits: I’m not about to post some ootd pics so no
27.) Stores: Vineyard Vines, Kohls, Charlotte Russe, Aerie and Pink lol
28.) Sports: Volleyball
29.) Colors: PINK
30.) Numbers: 10
31.) Websites: Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, Moodle (lmao)
32.) Cartoons characters: Abbycadabby bitch
33.) TV Channels: Bravo & E!
34.) Made For TV Movies: GRUMP CAT’S CHRISTMAS
35.) Comedians: Zane Hijazi and all those people
36.) Comediennes: CHRISTINE SYDELKO
37.) Hair products: All Aveda hunty ;)
38.) Makeup Products: I wear Sephore mascara and thats all
39.) Kind of Pens: The kind that let you write?
40.) Kind of Shows: Comedy
41.) Pieces of Jewelry: Necklaces and Ear Rings
42.) Kinds of Soap: Organic
43.) Kinds of Shampoo: Aveda
44.) Game Systems: Wii I guess
45.) CD s: Anything by Beyonce fam
46.) Snacks: Tostitos
47.) Past times: NAPS
48.) Things to do on the weekend: Sleep and be with my friends
49.) Magazines: Any celeb magazine is something I’ll read
50.) Animals: CATS
Clothing
51.) Favorite Brand of Clothing?: Vineyard Vines all day every day
52.) Favorite sweatpants: My HS Ones
53.) What is your everyday outfit?: Something last minute thrown together
54.) Do you wear a uniform to school?: I did
55.) Do you like it?: Depends on the day
56.) What is your favorite clothing store?: I already did this
57.) Do you try to dress like other people?: Ya, 2008 Lady Gaga :]
58.) Do you consider yourself to be trendy?: In the snobby white house wife community? Probably, yea
59.) What kind of shoes do you wear?: Boots and Sperrys
60.) Do you like funky shoelaces?: No
61.) Do you wear hats?: In the summer sometimes
62.) Do you wear a lot of jewelry?: My cross necklace and ear rings
63.) If so, what?: oh shit wrong line
64.) Do you wear belts?: Ha no
65.) Do you wear skirts?: Not since high school
66.) Do you wear revealing clothing?: Sometimes.. A girl’s gotta live
67.) Do you like the Eskimo look?: no
68.) Do you wear big pimpin coats?: no lol
69.) Do you carry a purse or bag?: purse
70.) If so, what is it like?: It’s a pink coach purse
School
71.) What are your grades like?: I got all A’s & B’s this semester
72.) Do you wish you could change your performance in school?: I can always do better
73.) Are you failing anything?: no
74.) Do you take a language?: fuck no
75.) If so which language?: N/A
76.) Who is your favorite teacher?: My hipster Theo professor
77.) Do you decorate your locker?: If by locker you mean dorm then yes
78.) Do you decorate your bookbag?: Do I? no. Did Aerin? Yes.
79.) If so, with what?: she spilt a fuck ton of paint on it
80.) Do you draw on yourself in school?: no
81.) Do you doodle all over your notebooks?: In calc i did lol
82.) Do you take art?: not anymore
83.) Do you walk to school or are you driven?: I drive to campus but I walk to my classes
84.) Do you like school?: YES
85.) How big is your school?: Decently big
86.) Do a lot of your friends go to your school?: Pretty much
87.) Do you wish you could change schools?: Nope
88.) Are you on the Honor/Merit roll?: in high school i was on the honor roll but now its called the dean’s list
89.) Do you participate in school plays?: yesh
90.) Are you in any clubs/which ones?: Choir, Special Olympics, Yoga, IM Volleyball and something else I’m forgetting
Your Room (I’m gonna do my dorm)
91.) What color is your room?: White bc we can’t paint them
92.) Is it messy or clean?: usually in the middle
93.) What are on your bedsheets?: bright blue
94.) Do you have posters on your wall?: yes
95.) If so, of what?: I have a hamilton poster, and a shit ton of ND stuff lol go Irish
96.) Do you have a TV in your room?: Yes.
97.) A computer?: Yes, a laptop.
98.) A radio?: no
99.) An alarm clock?:Nope, I use a phone
100.) A stereo?: no
101.) What is under your bed?: tubs of extra clothes, food, and whatever else I need in college
102.) Do you have a big closet?: hell no
103.) Do you write on your walls?: Nope.
104.) Do you have any beads hanging up?: Nope.
105.) If so, what design?: ^^^^^
106.) Is your ceiling decorated?: ya
107.) If so, of what?: these little star shaped stickers that glow in the dark
108.) Do you decorate your door?: yeah
109.) With what?: white board and flyers
110.) Carpet? No, Wood floor
Music
111.) What are you favorite bands?: Little Mix is my current love
112.) Do you own a lot of CD s?: A good amount
113.) How many exactly?: Hell Idk
114.) Do you download music?: yes.
115.) What are your favorite songs?: PRIVATE SHOW BY LITTLE MIX IS MY JAM
116.) Do you listen to the radio?: Only when I’m in the car.
117.) Do you like loud music?: Love it. >:)
118.) Do you think its obnoxious when people drive down the street with their stereos all the way up blasting the kind of music you loathe?: Not really
119.) Do you like rap?: Sure
120.) Do you like country?: ugh no
121.) What TV shows are you glued to?: GREYS
122.) Are you a couch potato?: I invented the term
123.) Do you watch the news?: No but I do check Twitter
124.) Are you easily influenced by the people on TV?: Yes, Kim K i my god
125.) Who is your favorite TV star?: Kim K
126.) Do you watch late night TV?: Nah.
127.) Do you have more than 100 channels on your TV?: Yeh
128.) Do you actually care about any of those above 100?: idk
129.) Do you watch the Spanish channel just for fun?: Nope.
130.) What is your take on commercials?: I want to go into advertisement so I like them
131.) How big is your TV?: 42 inches
132.) Do you use a remote or change it manually?: remote
133.) When you see something on TV do you run out and buy it as soon as possible?: usually no
134.) Do you like dramas?: Yes.
135.) Do you like comedies?: Yes.
136.) Comedy Central-good or bad?: I’ve never really watched it.
137.) Are you obsessive over anyone on TV?: Dylan O’Brien is a hottie
138.) Do you watch any sports on TV/which ones?: Football and any other ND sport lol
139.) Do you watch music videos?:Sometimes.
140.) Do you like watching I Love the 80’s even if you weren’t living in the 80’s?: Never seen it
Morals/Beliefs
141.) Religion?: Catholic
142.) Do you go to church regularly?:Erm.... sorta?
142.) Pro-life?: YEAH BABY (get it?)
143.) Pro-choice?: No
144.) Are you a virgin?: No
145.) Do you believe in God?: Ya
146.) Jesus?: Is my main man
147.) Allah?: Nope, not my thing
148.) Buddha?: Nope, not my thing
149.) Do you have crosses hanging in your house?: Hella crosses lol
150.) Do you believe in the true meaning of Christmas ?: Yeah
Friends
151.) Who are your best friends?: Emma, Joel, Katie, Ayari, Joseph, Aerin, Bri, and all my dudes
152.) Do you have a lot of friends?: Yea
153.) Who is your funniest friend?: Either Aerin or Scott
154.) Craziest?: AERIN
155.) Weirdest?: Scott
156.) Prettiest: All of them
157.) Fanciest?: Joey
158.) Sportiest?: Emma or Katie
159.) Girliest?: All my girl friends
160.) Mellowest?: Max or Reilly
161.) Stupidest?: ;)
162.) Smartest?: They all smart
163.) Thugest?: Idk maybe Greg? But even then he’s like a teddy bear
164.) Do you have a lot of acquaintances?: yeah
165.) Are you friends with any of your teachers?: From college? No. HS, yes
166.) Are you friends with any friends parents?: Yeah!
167.) Are you really outgoing only around your friends?: I’m outgoing all the time, but more with my friends.
168.) Are you comfortable around your friends?: Very... a little too comfortable
169.) Are you easily influenced by your friends?: Yes.
170.) Are you part of a clique?:in high school i was, now i’m a floater
171.) Do you make new friends easily?: I think so.
172.) Do you have a lot of friends online?: no
173.) Where did you meet them?: N/A
174.) Do you have a lot of LJ friends?: tf is that
175.) Do you sleep over at friends houses a lot?: Houses? no. Dorms? yea.
176.) Do you make yourself at home when you go to other friends houses?: sorta
177.) Do your friends rub off on you a lot?: Yes.
178.) Could you live one day without your friends?: NO
179.) Rate your social life on a scale of 1-10: 8.5
180.) How is this challenge so far?: This takes forever
This or That
181.)
Book bag
/Messenger bag
182.) Punk/Emo
183.)
Rock/Rap
184.)
Jay-Z
/Nas
185.) Justin/Clay
186.) Ruben/Clay
187.)
Cat
/Dog
188.) PS2/Xbox
189.)
DVD
s/VHS
190.)
Cds
/Tapes
191.) Big screen/small screen
192.)
Movies at home/in the theater
193.)
Popcorn/Candy
194.)
Jacket/Coat
195.) Real fur/
Fake fur
196.) sister/
brother
197.)
Home/House
198.) Espanol/Deutsch
199.)
Art/Computer
200.)
Laptop/Desktop
201.) Pepsi/
Coke
202.)
Orange/Apple
203.)
Phone/Computer
204.)
Email
/Letters
205.) Big/Small
206.)
Pizza/Ravioli
207.)
Baby/Toddler
208.) 16/
21
209.) CSI/
24
210.)
Superman/Spiderman
211.) Kilborn/Conan
212.) Letterman/Leno
213.)
SNL
/MadTV
214.) Flinstones/Jetsons
216.)
Boxers
/Briefs
217.)
Pants
/Skirts
218.)
Skirts/Skorts
219.)
Fork
/Spoon
220.)
People/InTouch
Are you
221.) Gothic? no
222.) a freak? only in the sheets HAHAHAHAHA I'm sorry
223.) a computer nerd? (Not in the tech-y, gaming way, but just that I’m on the computer a lot)
224.) a science freak? Ha I WISH
225.) a sports fan? CHEER CHEER FOR OLE NOTRE DAME
226.) One of those people that sit in the back of the room during an exam and cough and sniff the whole time? no
227.) a class clown? no
228.) funny? hell yeah
229.) serious? depends
230.) intellectual? i wish
231.) an LOTR nerd? if that means lord of the rings then i am the farthest from it
232.) a failure? :’)
233.) a success? :”)
234.) a loser? Loser Like Me was the best song Glee ever did
235.) popular? Popular is the best song from Wicked
236.) lazy? yep
237.) outgoing? ya
238.) shy? nah
239.) friendly? yea
240.) easily annoyed? yep
241.) tolerant of others views? sure
242.) addicted to crack? damn you got me (no)
243.) addicted to any other drug? no
244.) a partier? sometimes
245.) naturally hyperactive? yes
246.) wild? no
247.) sporty? no
248.) smelly? no
249.) an insomniac? sometimes
250.) a procrastinator? YEAH
251.) a criminal? no
252.) a crackpot? no
253.) a bookworm? sorta
254.) hairy? no
255.) good at playing basketball? HA
256.) in high school? no
257.) in prison? no
258.) from mars? yea
259.) straight? yea
260.) gay? no
Random Questions
261.) Do you like frosted flakes?: no
262.) Are you easily mistaken as being someone of the opposite sex?: no
263.) Do you like nuns?: Yeah
264.) Is this survey getting on your nerves?: Slowly but surely yes
265.) Do you use correct English?: Yeah
266.) Hablar Espanol?: Sí
267.) Spien Deutsch?: tf
268.) Speak English?: yea
269.) Do you know what an aphrodisiac is?:no :((((
270.) Do you know what Draculas first name is?: Bob
271.) Do you like Russian names?: I think the name Silvia is pretty, I was on a volleyball team with a girl named Silva and she was great
272.) Like Vlad?: Not particularly.
273.) Homer?: ? Not really.
274.) Are you a busy body?: no
275.) Do you like to glue quarters to the floor and see how many people try and pick them up and proceed to fail?: Nope.
276.) Do you like to go mini golfing dressed as old men?: I’ve never done that.
277.) Do you like to roller skate?: yes, but Im bad at it
278.) Who do you wish was president?: B E R N I E
279.) What do you think of Pres. Bush?:
I was too young at the time
280.) Do you play Roller Coaster Tycoon?: Ugh bringing back the memz
281.) Are you insecure?: no
282.) Are you influenced by ancient Greek culture?: Heavily.
283.) Roman culture?: ONLY ECCI ROMANI ;)
284.) What kind of architecture do you like?: the kind that stays up?
285.) What style architecture is your house?: idk rich white suburb?
286.) Do you like to shop in big cities?: YES
287.) Do you like to clean your room?: sure
288.) Do you hate when people sit in the back of the room during an exam and cough and sniffle the whole time to break your concentration?: No but I feel bad for them bc that sucks
289.) Do you think that clocks are dumb?: Nope.
290.) Does anybody really know what time it is?: It’s summer time.
291.) Does anybody really care?: yeah
292.) Who sings that song?: what song fam
293.) Do you like Chicago?: LOVE
294.) Does Nevada have a football team?: The state doesn’t but the college there does and BOY we KILLED them in Football
295.) What did you get on the last big test you took? 97 on my Theo Exam bc Im a baller
296.) Do you pace in circles when you get nervous?: no
297.) Do you play with dolls?: no
298.) Do you like Star Trek?: I’ve never seen it.
299.) What’s 2+9+9?: 20
300.) Do you like filling out these surveys?: I used to this shit is too much am
Money
301.) Do you have a job?:
Not at the moment, I’m a full time college student but I do work over breaks when I am home
302.) What do you do?: I was a waitress
303.) Does your boss like you?: She did when I worked
304.) How much do you get paid?: 10 an hour plus tips
305.) Do you have your own bank account?:Yes.
306.) Do you have a credit card?: Yea
307.) a checkbook?:Nope.
308.) Are you a big spender?:Yes.
309.) Do you go to the mall a lot?: All.The.Time.
310.) In an average week, how much money do you spend?: Maybe like $50.
311.) Do you know how much a peso would be worth in the United States today?:I have no idea.
312.) How about a Franc?: I don’t know.
313.) Do you really care?: Not particularly.
314.) Do you like your job if you have one?: I liked working there, I had a lot of friends
315.) If you don’t have one, do you wish you had one?: No Im in school now
316.) Do you wish you had more money?: doesn’t everyone?
317.) Why?: bc money is fun
318.) Would you rather be filthy rich with no friends or dirt poor with tons of friends and a dog?: Dirt poor with a dog
319.) Do you have a cool wallet?: It’s Vera Bradley so ig
320.) What is the largest amount of money you ever had in your possession at one time?: 2,000 in cash (My high school open house)
321.) What are you wearing?: PJ pants with a Bernie 2016 T shirt lmao
322.) What are you listening to?: My brother talk to my mom
323.) Who are you talking to?: No one
324.) What are you doing other than filling out this survey?: Hating myself for doing this challenge but I’m already on 324 so I can’t give up now
325.) How is your hair?: In braids
326.) Do you have anything on your feet?: socks.
327.) Are you cold or warm?: WARMTH
328.) Do you have any jewelry on?: Ear Rings
329.) Do you have any makeup on?: LOL
330.) Name 4 things laying around your desk: Fish, Pen, IPad, Books
331.) Pick up a book laying near you and type a random sentence from a random page: no fuck that
332.) Open a cabinet near you and describe what’s in it: that sounds like effort I don’t wanna give
334.) Should you be doing something else now?: No
335.) Why aren��t you doing it?: I don’t have anything to do.
336.) Is your room a mess now?: ehhhh
337.) Is your mom nagging at you to clean it?: no
338.) What are any people around you doing?: Mom is on the couch, brother j chillin and the cats are being cats
339.) Who are you thinking about right now?: my hand hurts from typing this shit
340.) Are you doing anything illegal?: no
Looks
341.) How much time do you spend on your appearance in the morning?:
Usually about 30 minutes.
342.) Do you wear makeup regularly?: Mascara yeah
343.) If so, what?: bitch i just said
344.) Are your looks important to you?: MINE? yeah
345.) Do you want to change the way you look?: only that my hair would grow back quicker
346.) What would you change?: i.just.told.you.
347.) How do you usually wear your hair?: curly
348.) Do you dye your hair?: no
349.) Do you straighten you hair?: Yes.
350.) What color is your hair naturally?: brown
351.) What is your eye color?: brown
352.) Do you wear colored contacts?: No
353.) Do you look like your parents?:Yes.
354.) Is that good or bad?:It’s good.
355.) Do you turn strange colors sometimes?: no, that would be bad
356.) Why?: what
357.) Do you have any piercings?: My ears.
358.) Any tattoos?: Nope.
359.) Ever gotten a makeover?: Yes.
360.) Do you experiment a lot with new looks?: eh
Travel
361.) Have you ever been out of the country?: No
362.) Out of your state?: yes
363.) Out of your city?: Yes.
364.) Do you go on a vacation every year?: a couple times a year
365.) If so, to where and for how long?: depends, we go somewhere for spring and fall break then a long summer vacation
366.) Have you ever ridden in a plane?: Yup.
367.) In a boat?:Yup.
368.) Do you visit relatives that live far away from you at all?: my aunt in her house in southern florida
369.) ON average, every week how many miles do you travel?: depends if I'm home then not too far and if i go back to school thats like 130 some miles
370.) do you drive? yes
Cars
371.) Favorite car?: A 2015 titanium flex fuel Ford Focus baby.. or a Tesla that my dad is getting :/
372.) Color for that car?: BLUE
373.) Do you have your license?:yes
374.) Permit?: i did once
375.) Do you like fast cars?: sure
Sleep
376.) How long so you sleep each night on average?: 8 or 9
377.) Is this enough?: sure
378.) Do you dream every night?: no
379.) Describe a weird dream you had: I made out with a teacher I had in High School
380.) Do you sleep in awkward positions?: Sometimes.
381.) do you sleep in school? not in class
382.) If so, do you wake up with different patterns all over your face from whatever you were laying on?: no
383.) What position do you usually wake up in?: on my side
389.) Does your alarm clock wake you up?: sadly
390.) What kind of alarm clock do you have?: I use my phone.
Going Out
391.) How often do you go to parties?: not every weekend, but i go out enough to not be considered lame
392.) Are you a crazy party hopper?: depends on the parties I’m at
393.) Do you like wild parties with lots of people?: Dorm parties? no. House Party? sure.
394.) Are you a social butterfly?: I think so.
395.) Do you go clubbing?: I have been once
396.) Ever been drunk?: ;)
397.) Ever get kicked out of a party?: Nope.
398.) For what?: N/A
399.) Do you throw a lot of parties?: No
400.) Do you go to the mall a lot?: Too much
401.) Do you go with a lot of friends?: I have never been to the mall alone
402.) Do you like going to arcades?: sure
403.) Is DDR a cool game?: Idk what that is
404.) What about those racing games?: not my thing
405.) How many parties have you been to in the last 3 months?: maybe 4? If you don’t count laid back christmas parties
406.) How many formal dances have you been to in the last year or so?: I guess 3 if you count Prom and Home Coming in hs then formal in college
407.) Do you dress up when you go out?: yeppers
408.) Do you go to see a lot of movies on the weekend?: not really
409.) Who has the best parties?: Joey
Dating and Stuff
410.) Are you involved romantically with anyone right now?: Yes.
412.) Do you wish you were with someone right now?: I wish I was with my boyfriend, he lives far away
413.) Do you have a secret crush?: no
414.) Who?: N/A
415.) Do they know?: N/A
416.) How many people have you dated in the passed year?: two
417.) Kissed in the past year?: two
418.) Do you know what 143 means?: no
419.) How many people have you said “I love you” to?: one
420.) Did you mean it?: at the time i did
421.) If you didn’t mean in, why did you bother saying it?: no
422.) Do you say I Love You to your friends all the time?: yeah
423.) Where do you go out on dates?: Dances, Dinner, Movie Nights, Lunches, or anything really.
424.) What’s the most fun date you ever had?: Stephen (my boyfriend) and I went to this really cool shopping area by our schools and it was just a lot of fun
425.) If you break up with someone do you cry your heart out while listening to breakup songs and then in an hour your fine again with a new love-buddy?: Honestly depends
Would Win In a Fight?
426.) Britney or Christina
427.) Justin or JC
428.) Frodo or Sam
429.) B2K or Nsync
430.) Cartman or Bart Simpson
431.) Dracula or Frankenstein
432.) Triumph or Simon Cowell
433.) Conan or Jay
434.) Rosie O Donnell or Boy George
435.) Carmen Electra or Pamela Anderson
436.) Tommy Lee or the guy who’s married to Carmen Electra right now
437.) Bill O'Reilly or Chris Matthews
Inspiration
438.) Who are your heroes?: This woman I’ve grown up knowing, she is a holocaust survivor.
439.) Why do you look up to them?: she was in the fucking holocaust
440.) Do you wish you could be just like them?: i do not want to go through the holocaust
441.) State the most inspiring quote you know: “fuck bitches get money”
442.) Do your parents inspire you?: Totally
443.) Do any of your friends inspire you?: yeah
More Random Questions
444.) Are nutri-grain bars good or bad?: Never had one
445.) Do you eat a lot of donuts? hell yeah
446.) What kind?: ALL
447.) Do you like chocolate?: too much
448.) Has your uncle ever gone to jail for unpaid parking tickets?: no
449.) Do you see dancing giraffes and living gnomes in your sleep?: I’m sick of this bullshit challenge
450.) Do you like headphones that go in your ears or stay out?: stay out
451.) Do you like mini blinds?: I’m not sure if i know what that means
452.) Have you ever broken your mini blinds with a hanger?: once again: what?
453.) Have you ever gotten into a violent fit of rage and tried to murder someone?: no
454.) How is this survey so far?: ugh
.455.) Do you like the movie Fantasia ?: it’s just kinda there
What s Your Take On
456.) Life: it is too short
457.) The world: it would be a much better place if Julie Andrews ran it
458.) President Bush: okay when was this even made
459.) Ahhhhnold: pardon?
460.) Gary Coleman running for governor: GARY FROM SPONGEBOB IS COOL
461.) Howard Stern: isn’t he the bald guy from America’s Got Talent and Deal or No Deal?
462.) The war in Iraq: I wish it wasn’t a thing
463.) the economy: fuck AP Macro
464.) jay-z retiring: but Bey is still going strong ;)))
465.) school: I like school
466.) going to college: ITS THE BEST
467.) marriage: is for everyone! love is love!
468.) football: ND or die
469.) baseball: ND or die
470.) people cutting themselves for pleasure: people do that?
471.) Pick your nose? don't do that
472.) Untie your shoe laces every time you take your shoes off? lol
473.) Fart a lot? my brother does lol
474.) Burp a lot? my brother does lolz
475.) Do stupid things in public? me when I'm drunk
476.) Terrorize innocent people on golf courses? why did my mind go to Troy and Gabriella in HSM2
477.) Have random hallucinations? do hugs not drugs
478.) Wear shirts with quotes on them? :/
479.) Wear patches and/or pins on your clothing? it isn’t 2003
480.) Wear leg warmers? it isn't 1980
481.) Sing in the shower? hell yeah
482.) Play any card game? sure
483.) Sleep with a teddy bear? Patrick Grisley <3
484.) Take your pet for a walk? I have cats and a fish bro
485.) Have a snake? I would
486.) Have webbed feet? I am not a duck
487.) Wear colorful socks? sure
488.) Have a life? I think I have that
489.) Drink coffee? I drink to much
490.) Drink tea? yea!
Internet
491.) What are your screen names?: abbycadabby bitch or majesticpossum
492.) Emails?: guess.
493.) Do you have a website?:no
494.) Do you have a live journal or dead journal?: leave the journals alone
495.) Do you ever get off the computer?: at this point in this challenge I’ll die on the computer
496.) What are your favorite websites?: Vineyeardvines.com
497.) What are your favorite online stores?: see questions 496
498.) Do you buy a lot of stuff online?: ;))))))))
499.) If so, what?: clothes... a lot of it
500.) What’s the last thing you bought online?: Ear rings
501.) Do you have a lot of online friends?: no
502.) Have you ever met any of them in person?: no
503.) Who’s the best person to talk to online?: i don’t talk to people
504.) Do you ever catch yourself using computer language outloud?:I say lol too much or smh
505.) Do you use AIM, ICQ, Yahoo, MSN ?: LOL HUNTY its 2017
506.) What’s your desktop background?: Me, Ayari, Katie and Aerin on a couch
507.) What’s your AIM icon?: N/A
508.) How many hours do you spend online in a week on average?: too many
509.) Do you have a webcam or a mic?: in my computer I do
510.) If your computer shut down for a week, would you die?: If i was at school I would
Presents
511.) What’s the best present you’ve ever received?: The gift of life
512.) What’s the worst present you’ve ever received?: The gift of life
513.) Do you think it’s better to give than to receive?: I just thought of that in a sexual way
514.) Do you feel guilty when people get you a great present, but you didn’t get them one?: I always give people presents fam
515.) Do you make up a lie to cover it up?: no
More Favorites
516.) Favorite radio station:
99.5 WZPL or the LA and NY Sirus Pop channels
517.) Favorite day of the week: FRIDAY
518.) Favorite fruit: strawberries fuck me up
519.) Favorite vegetable: Spinach.
520.) Favorite lunch meat: :/
521.) Favorite candy bar: All
522.) Favorite nail polish: Essie.
523.) Favorite chair: my chair at home is hella comfy
524.) Favorite early morning show: I sleep through the mornings
525.) Favorite morning talk show host: Ellen?
526.) Favorite writing paper: college ruled no doubt
527.) Favorite section of the newspaper: the comics
528.) Favorite sibling (if you have any): I like them both
529.) Favorite distant relative: My aunts
530.) Favorite dessert: all
531.) Favorite weather: warm and sunny
532.) Favorite season: Summer.
533.) Favorite shoe brand: SPERRY
534.) Favorite lunch: Anything with mozzarella sticks
535.) Favorite breakfast: FRENCH TOAST STICKS
536.) Favorite author: John Green
537.) Favorite place to see concerts: Lucas Oil Stadium or Stephan Center
538.) Favorite band to see live: 1D bitches
539.) Favorite survey you’ve ever gotten: fuck you
More This or That
540.) Nike/Adidas
541.) Alone/With friends
542.) Work/Have off
543.) Pomegranate/Persimmon
544.) Raspberry/Blueberry
545.) Cheech and Chong/Abbot and Costello
546.) Acid/Shrooms
547.) Who/The Who
548.) Older/Newer
549.) Regular pretzel/Pretzel log
550.) Have sex/Make love Bitch they both fun tf
Have you ever
551.) Used a swear word the wrong way and made it sound completely stupid? probably
552.) Skipped school? ;)
553.) Done drugs? no
554.) Been drunk? ;))
555.) Been so drunk you couldn’t remember your own name? No, I keep my wits about me
556.) Had to look after someone who was on drugs? no
557.) Gone insane? probably
558.) Been in the hospital over night? yea
559.) Been in a car accident? yea
560.) A bike accident? yea
561.) Broken a bone? no but I'm about to knock on some wood
562.) Sprained a wrist or an ankle? i don't think so?
563.) Been online for more than 8 hours at one shot? probably
564.) Loved somebody so much it made you cry? YES
565.) Watched TV for more than 11 hours straight? oh hell yeah, i probably did that today
566.) More than 12 hours? yeah
567.) How about 5 hours? yeah
568.) Slipped in public and had everyone laugh at you? yes
569.) Passed out from hunger? no
570.) Been to a LAN party? and that is...?
Other Stuff
571.) Do you like going to basketball games?: If its ND then hell yea
572.) How about swim meets?: fuck that
573.) Tennis matches?: never been
574.) Do you like Family Feud?: well I don’t hate it
575.) The ones with Richard?: is that a dick joke
576.) How about Match Game?: never seen it?
577.) Do you watch Game Show network regularly?: Nope.
578.) Do you believe in dream catchers?: not really but they can't hurt ya know
579.) Do transvestites appeal to you?: I support the cause
580.) Have you ever been to New York City?: Yes.
581.) Do you wish you could live somewhere else?: Washington DC
582.) Do you dress in different ways to look like other people?: no
583.) Yes or No: Christina Aguilera has talent: yeah
584.) Do you like TiVo?: I’ve never had it
585.) Do you have a TiVo?: Nope
586.) VCR s or DVD players?: DVD players.
587.) Are you an animal rights activist?: Hell yeah
588.) A vegan?: no
589.) Vegetarian?: no but I was for a year
590.) What do you want to be when you grow up?: Marketing person
Do you know
591.) Who won the Super Bowl last year?: BRONCOS BABY LETS GO
592.) Two years ago?: I wanna say Seahawks
593.) Who hosted Family Feud after Richard?: Steve Harvey!
594.) The author of “Frankenstein”?: FUCk i knew this last year we did it
595.) Who the Canadian Prime Minister is?: the really cool guy who supports the LGBT movement. sorry reilly i don't know am
596.) The Queen of England?: Queen Elizabeth
597.) Prime Minister of Britain?: I don’t know since he stepped down
598.) Espanol?: a little
599.) Deutsch?: no
600.) Japanese?: no
601.) Français?: no
602.) Chinese?: no
603.) Portuguese?:no
604.) (If you don’t, do you wish you knew any of these languages?): probably all of them
606.) The capital of the US?: Washington, DC.
607.) All of the Canadian provinces?: ONTARIO....thats all I know. I have a friend from Toronto
608.) The two most commonly used languages in the world?: English and maybe Chinese?
609.) How to fly a kite?: yea
610.) How to surf?: yeah, but not well
611.) Skateboard?: no
612.) How about rollerblade?: lmao no but my dad did in college
613.) What year the Korean war started?: ....
Emotions
614.) What is the one thing in the world that makes you teary eyed?:Those sad ASPCA commercials
615.) Happy eyed?: CATS
616.) What song always makes you sad?: Moments by one direction
617.) Happy?: All Night Longer by Sammy Adams
618.) Which person always makes you really happy?: Stephen!
619.) Really depressed?: my ex
620.) Are you a really emotional person?: YeS
621.) Are you a naturally depressed person?: during the winter i am
622.) A naturally happy person?: I think so
623.) How long does it take you to overcome a bad emotion?:
Sometimes 10 minutes, sometimes hours, sometimes days.
624.) What do you do?: cry
625.) What song do you think was written about your life?: Wonderland by Taylor Swift.
The Last Person To
626.) Who was the last person to hug you?: My dad
627.) Talk to you?: My mom
628.) IM you?: i cant remember 2003
629.) Touch you physically?: does that mean sexually
630.) Touch you emotionally?: idk
631.) Hurt you?: probably me because I run into everything
632.) Make you feel gooooood?: ;) stepho
633.) Scold you?: probs my parents
634.) Praise you?: also my parents
635.) Say “Hello” to you?: my brother. he literally was singing the Adele song
Weaknesses
636.) Are you secure with yourself?: I have my moments
637.) What do other people think of you?: They think Im bubbly
638.) What kind of person do you see yourself as?: Awkward but means well
639.) What is your one maaaaajjoooorrrr weakness?: I get attached way to easily
640.) Do you consider yourself to be a strong person?: eh
641.) A weak person?: ehh
642.) Are you stressed out?: pretty much always
643.) If someone insults you, can you just brush it off or move on?:yeah but I get petty as hell
644.) Do you hold grudges against others that insult you?: not really
645.) If you are sitting in class and you say something really dumb or do something really stupid and everyone starts laughing at you, can you brush it off easily?: I probably will blush and then cry
MORE Random Stuff
671.) Name all the Teletubbies in order right now no thinking:
Tinky Winky, Po and Lala
672.) Do you like to blurt out random sayings in a conversation for no reason?:
oh hell yeah
673.) Do you talk Simmish?: what
674.) Oday ouyay peaksay igpay atinlay?: bitch what the fuck even..
675.) Isn’t pig latin the best?: fuck off
676.) Do you have a distinct smell?: my perfume
677.) Do you know anyone who has a distinct smell that you wish you could bottle and make a perfume or something?: no
678.) Have you ever read Gone With the Wind?: part or it
679.) Did you ever have a crazy eighth grade teacher?: all of them
680.) Are you in an asylum?: Nope.
681.) College?: yeah
682.) What is your favorite scent?: Flowery
683.) Do you eat chocolate?: ALWAYS
684.) Where is your favorite restaurant?: anywhere with mozzarella sticks
685.) What is the best feeling in the world?: orgasm LMAO
686.) What is the worst feeling in the world?: not orgasming LMAO
687.) Do like Spongebob?:Yes!
688.) Do you think he s gay?: spongebob?
689.) How about Squidward? A little off track?: he’s a tad gay
690.) Do you like to make up stupid excuses in school like “I was too busy getting raped by a bull to do my homework”?: i’m honestly triggered by this questions wtf
691.) Do you do your homework every night?: yesssssss
692.) Do you usually get a lot?: yea
693.) “OOOOOO poor baby”: okay literally fuck off
694.) Have you ever been French kissed by a dog?: ;))))))
695.) Have you ever fed a dog or cat out of your mouth?: surprisingly no
696.) Ever eaten a doggie biscuit?: ... I dont wanna talk about it
697.) Don’t you wish they would make them for humans too?: no
698.) Where is your second home?: my dorm lmao
699.) Are dollar stores cool?: hell yeah
700.) How many phone numbers do you have memorized that you don’t need to look up?: maybe like 3
701.) Do you wish your teeth would get whiter?: sure
702.) Can you do the limbo?: smh
703.) Do you make New Year’s Resolutions?: HA no
Which Friend
704.) Has the best taste in music?: Katie because it is exactly like mine
705.) Has the coolest name?: Ayari
706.) Has the best taste in movies?: Not Michael lmao
707.) Has the nicest hair?: Joseph has got some quality hair
708.) Has the fittest body?: me bitch
709.) Do you hang out with most?: All of them
710.) Has the coolest parents?: idk
711.) Lives closest to you?: they all live either in Northern Indiana or out of state
712.) Lives the farthest from you?: Joseph, in LA
713.) Can you relate to most?: Katie
714.) Is the best for advice on anything?:Greg
715.) Can you make you laugh the easiest?: Aerin or Joseph
Word Association!
716.) blow: job
717.) lollipop: i want one
718.) obnoxious: me
719.) cold: water
720.) hot: mess
721.) smell: Goof
722.) car: wash?
723.) rain: freezing
724.) wet: ;) I'm sorry i need to chill but its been a month since I've seen my boyfriend so SUE me
725.) steamy: see questions 724
726.) bite: hickeys
727.) beer: i need one
728.) rock: HARD ROCK
729.) hard: ROCK HARD ROCK
730.) soft: pillows
OK Here’s the dirty part oh shit whaddup
731.) Have you ever played a game that required the removal of clothing?: sex?
732.) What’s your favorite place to be kissed?: anywhere within reason
733.) Are you a tease?: LOL thats the one thing I’ve got going for me
734.) Spit or swallow: Swallow don't be a prude
More “Do you”
735.) Twirl your hair? yes
736.) Hate yourself? no
737.) Want to kill yourself? no
738.) Dream of death and blood and gore? no
739.) Go into frequent fits of depression and/or rage? no
740.) Touch your face a lot? yes
741.) Watch MTV? sometimes
742.) Have any lesbian/gay/bi friends? yes
743.) Consider yourself tolerant of other people’s differences? yes
744.) Wish you could fly? eh
745.) Wish you could be invisible? eh
746.) Read minds? yes
747.) Watch wrestling? fuck no
748.) Like filling out love surveys? fuck this
749.) Work out? yes
750.) Play any sports?yes
More Have You Ever
751.) Gotten a DUI? no
752.) A speeding ticket? thank god no
753.) Been in a fist fight? no
754.) Participated in a backyard wrestling match? no
755.) Considered a life as a criminal? no
756.) Held a gun? yes
757.) Considered prostituting yourself for money? college is hard
758.) Been used? no
759.) Been rejected? yeah
760.) Experimented with homosexuality? no
761.) Threw up on a roller coaster? no
762.) Laughed so hard you peed your pants? yes
763.) Slept more than 13 hours straight? hell yeah
764.) Tackled the mailman? no
765.) Laugh so hard you cried? no
766.) Been on the phone for more than 5 hours straight? no
767.) Done crack? no
768.) Done cocaine? no
769.) Passed out during school? yes
770.) Had unprotected sex? no
More Random Questions!!!!!!!!!!
771.) Do you know what boricua/moricua/morena mean?: bitch WHAT
772.) What language is spoke in Brazil?: Portuguese.
773.) Can you name all 32 football teams in the NFL?: yes but I'm not gonna do that now
774.) How about every baseball team in MLB?: fuck No.
775.) Do you like hot dogs?: Yes.
776.) Are baseball games fun?: sure
777.) Is 7 a lucky number?: Sure.
778.) Do you believe in Ouiji boards?: idk
779.) Have you ever played a guitar?: yeah
780.) Do you have dreams about becoming famous?: yes
781.) Do you like U2?: YES
782.) Has anyone ever asked you about U2 and you responded “I LOVE U2!” and the other person got really confused?: no
783.) Do you own a CD by the Beatles?: yes
784.) Do you straighten your hair?: Yes.
785.) Do you wear sweat pants?: i live in them
786.) Do you wear black lipstick?: lmao
787.) What kind of headphones do you have?: The Apple earbuds that came with my iPhone.
788.) Do you use your portable CD player a lot?: not since 2008
789.) How often do you need to buy a new CD player?: not since 2007
790.) What is the CD in your CD player right now?: I don’t think anything.
791.) How often do you change your underwear?: every day if not twice
792.) Are you addicted to popping pimples?: no
793.) Do you ever slip and accidentally say “pimping popples” instead of “popping pimples”?: bitch what
794.) Do you have a walk in closet?: yes
795.) Did you ever get stuck in a closet while listening to “Harder to breathe” or whatever by Maroon 5?: no
796.) Do you pray daily?: not always
797.) If you die right now what will happen to you?: Well that would suck
798.) Are you paranoid?: yes
799.) Do you go to thrift stores to shop?: no
800.) Have you ever seen a used pair of underwear for sale?: no but lets not do that people
Which One Are You?
801.) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle: the rat thing thats on the show
802.) Power Ranger: The pink one.
803.) Rugrat: angelica
804.) Powerpuff Girl: Bubbles.
805.) Villain: Darth Vader bitches
Do You Own
806.) A cell phone? yes
807.) A CPR certification card? no
808.) A Member s Only jacket? no
809.) A book over 900 pages long? yes
810.) A porno? no
811.) A gun? my family does
812.) A pair of toe socks? no
813.) A portable DVD player? no
814.) A Michael Bolton CD? no
815.) A car? yes
816.) A trucker hat? no
817.) A pair of cut-off shorts? yes
818.) A wife beater? lmao probably
819.) A butcher knife? yes
820.) A pocket knife? no
821.) A Rolex? my dad does
822.) A bike? no
823.) A thong? yes
824.) A bikini? no
825.) A speedo (guys)? i am woman
826.) Anything from Tijuana? no
827.) A drum set? no
828.) An electric guitar?
829.) A signed photo of anyone famous? yes
830.) Any of the “Rocky” movies? no
More Random Questions
831.) Do you have fleas?:
No
832.) Quote Aladdin in any way: “Too Close” in the beginning when the camera is in the salesmen’s face
833.) Did you ever play backyard baseball in real life?: yea
834.) How big is your backyard?: not big at all
835.) Do you like hairy backs?: bitch no
836.) Hairy chests?: i personally believe too much is gross but none at all is gross too
837.) Are you attracted to older men/women?: I have never dated someone younger than me
838.) Do you wish you had more hair?: i wish it was longer
839.) What does Prilosec treat?: is that a word
841.) Are you on any medication?: allegories
842.) Do you have asthma?: used to
843.) Do you have an inhaler?: i did
844.) Do you use your inhaler more than 5 times a week?:
No
845.) Do you think you need to take medication for this disorder?: what disorder
846.) When was the last time you got a haircut?: last week
847.) What is your hair length?: my boobs
848.) Do you know how to change a tire?: no
849.) Do you know how to change oil in a car?: no but i know how to check it a car needs oil thanks to Stephen and Bri’s shit car
850.) Did a ring ever turn your finger purple/blue/green?: no
851.) Have you ever taken a bus ride to another state?: no
852.) Have you ever taken a bus to the mall?:no
853.) Do you like the show Recess?: thats a blast from the past
854.) What’s your take on the show Judge Judy?: Literal Queen
855.) When did WW2 start?: 1941
856.) When did it end?: 1945
857.) What is your nationality?: American
858.) Where did your family come from?: Germany and England
859.) Have you ever been to Hell?: by hell do you mean Florida in the summer?
860.) Do you believe there is a Satan?: yea
861.) Do you believe in angels?: yes!
862.) Do people always tell you that you look stoned?: people say i act stoned
863.) What percentage of the time are you actually NOT stoned?: 100%.
864.) Do you like to say random words during conversations like “naked” to get people s reactions?: no
865.) Do you own any NKOTB merchandise?: what that mean
866.) Have you ever gotten the urge to bang any member from Menudo?: idk what that is
867.) Aren’t those Menudo kids soooooooooooooo sexy?:
I don’t even know who they are.
868.) Do you constantly use away messages even if you are gone for 3 days at one shot?: Nope.
869.) Do you collect anything?:Those pins you get at disney world
870.) Have you ever made a bong from an exhaust pipe?: no
871.) Do you have pothead neighbors?: no
872.) Which is your favorite toe?: my pinky toe
873.) Favorite finger?: middle ;))))
874.) How many wisdom teeth do you have?: 3
875.) Do you have a Kidz Bop CD?: I don’t hate myself
876.) Do you like to watch the Kidz Bop commercials just because they’re so sad and stupid?: no
877.) Have you ever made out with someone of the same sex?: no
878.) If you answered yes to 877, WHY????????!!!: N/A
879.) Do you grind a lot?: at parties.. drunk.. with my boyfriend
880.) Do you like to grate cheese?: grates are scary
881.) Can you sing the Oscar Meyer jingle?: YES
882.) Are you related to someone famous through only 3 degrees of seperation?: what
883.) How about 5 degrees of seperation?: bitch
884.) OK be honest how’s the survey so far?: never ending.
885.) Do you usually like to answer all the questions on surveys?:
no
886.) What time is it?:
10:09
887.) Do you use the word uber a lot?: kinda
888.) Do you pretend like you know other languages when you really don’t?:
no
889.) Can you take a crap in other people’s houses without feeling awkward?:
NO
890.) Have you ever overflowed a toilet in public?:no
891.) What did you do?: N/A
892.) Have you ever heard an old lady say “Fire truck”?: what
893.) Do you swear like a sailor?: yep lmao
894.) Do you think it’s sassy when people of the opposite sex swear every once in a while when they usually don’t?: no
895.) Can you sit on the toilet and take a poo?: can you not do that..?
896.) What term do you like to use for poo the most: crap
897.) What does PMS stand for?: Premenstrual syndrome
898.) Do you like to inhale potpourri?: I mean it smells good ig
899.) Can you say the alphabet backwards without stopping?: nope
900.) How far can you count on your fingers?: 10.
901.) Are outhouses or porta potties ok for you?: fuck no
902.) What is the funniest portapotty company name you have ever seen?:
idk
903.) How many people are on your AIM buddy list?: buddy get out of 2005
904.) Do you like the Godfather movies?: I’ve only seen one
905.) How about Good Fellas?: Never seen it.
906.) Watch the Sopranos?: Nope.
907.) Does the mobster life appeal to you?:mobster......Lobster
908.) Do you know anyone in the mob?: 10000% sure my old boss is
909.) Have you ever woken up to find a horse head laying in your bed?: lmao
910.) If you could rename your town to be anything you want, what would you name it?: DirtyBurg
911.) Osama Bin Laden: dead or alive?: I’m triggered this is question 911
912.) Do you wear a lot of bright colors?: no
913.) Do you watch day time soaps?: no but i feel like i should
914.) Do you watch Cartoon Network?: Nope.
915.) Do you use a calculator?: yea
916.) What kind is it?:
TI-85???
917.) Do you like pizza to be delivered to you?: hell yeah
918.) Did you ever have to do a science project?: Yup.
919.) Don’t they suck?: yeah.
920.) Did you ever have to help a family member with a science project?: sadly
921.) Do you help out at the Special Olympics?: I do actually
922.) Do you know anyone with mental disabilities?: Yes.
923.) Are you a racist?: no
924.) When you go to restaurants do you eat a lot or try and minimize you intake? food is good
925.) Do you diet?: HA
926.) Do you have trouble sticking to promises?: not really
Hygiene
927.) How often do you shower?: every day
928.) Do you wash your hands after you go to the bathroom?: Yes.
929.) How often do you wash your face?: every night and morning
930.) When you bleed do you use a band aid?: Yes.
931.) Do you wash your cuts out with soap and water?: no
932.) Do you wash your hair every day?: yeah
933.) Do you blow your nose a lot?: no
934.) Do you cough a lot?: not unless I'm sick
935.) If so, do you cover your mouth or let the germs fly?: I usually cough into my arm.
936.) Do you wear deodorant regularly?: Yes.
Issues
937.) Do you have any type of mental disability?:
I have an anxiety disorder
938.) Do you have OCD?: no
939.) Do you have ADHD?: Nope.
940.) Are you on any medication for any mental disorder?:no
941.) Do you suffer from anxiety or depression?: anxiety
942.) Do you get sick really often and for long periods of time?: no
943.) Have you ever had the chicken pox?: Nope.
944.) The monkey pox?: Nope.
945.) The mumps?: Nope.
946.) The measles?: Nope.
947.) Did you ever have a hole in your heart?: thats an episode of Grey’s Anatomy
The Last Set of Random Questions
948.) Have you ever been on TV?:
Yup.
949.) Have you ever been on the radio?:
Yup.
950.) In the newspaper?:
Yup.
951.) Have you ever been quoted by anyone at all?:
Yup.
952.) Do you watch Saved By The Bell?:
I used to.
953.) Did you cry when Mr. Rogers died?:
I didn’t know until later
954.) Did you ever see the movie Who Framed Roger Rabbit?:
yea
955.) Do you think Frank Zilinski is a moron?:
what
956.) Throw me some Polish names:
no
957.) What size shoe do you have?:
8
958.) How many pairs of shoes do you have?:
I would say like 20
959.) How big is your wardrobe?:
Decently large.
960.) How much do you weigh?:
105 pounds.
961.) How tall are you?:
5'9".
962.) Do you have cankles?:
Nope.
963.) Do you have fat wrists?:
Nope.
964.) Fat thighs?:
Nope.
965.) Do you shave your toes?:
no
966.) Do you shave your legs?:
Yeah.
967.) How often?: All the time
968.) How about those armpits?:
Yes.
969.) Are you a germaphobe?:
Kind of.
970.) How many legs does an octopus have?:
8.
971.) How many legs do you have?:
2.
972.) Do you have braces?:
Nope, but i used to
973.) Are you getting sick of these questions?:
YES
974.) Do you snort when you laugh?:
Not really.
975.) Do you snore?:
no
976.) Do you have your own room?:
Yes.
977.) Do you have an overactive bladder?:
Nope.
978.) How about an overactive pooper?:
Nope.
979.) Have you ever had an out of body experience?:
what
980.) Do you know who Tim Burton is and/or do you like him?:
yes and eh
981.) How about Tim Curry?:
eh
982.) Are you ticklish?:
yes but not as bad as my boyfriend lmao
983.) Do you have a gay uncle?:
try aunt
984.) A lesbian aunt?:
lmao yes
985.) Do you like salad?:
Yes.
986.) Have you ever been to a Farmers Market?:
Yes.
987.) Ever been to a pig auction?:
No thank god
988.) Are you artsy?:
sorta?
989.) Do you like to eat pie?:
Yeah.
990.) Do you like to say “no pun intended” for no reason?:
no i don't hate myself
991.) What’s your favorite pie flavor?:
sugar cream bitches
992.) Do you like ice cream cake?:
I LOVE IT.
993.) Is the glass half empty or half full?:
fuck this
994.) Who was the Lone Ranger’s, nephew’s, horse?:
bitch
995.) Do you like cheese?:
yes bc thats whats in mozzarella sticks
996.) Do you know Eric Shaun?:
Np
997.) Do you think that last question was really lame?:
bitchhhhh
998.) Did you think this whole survey was really lame?:
yes
999.) Was it a waste of your time?:
YES
1000.) Do you waste a lot of time doing stupid pointless things when you should be doing more important things:
I hate that this is the last question
thank god thats over
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