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muneersecstasy · 3 years

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There are times when you just feel empty.

There are times when you just feel empty, when you are so lost. Lost in your own thoughts. When you don't understand what to do. When your insecurities starts eating you up internally. Making you unreliable and uncertain. When you feel weight on your chest crushing your hopes and dreams. When it's hard to breath. When you have no motivation left to keep going. When you don’t know what you're moving towards. When nobody knows how your mind aches every day, that how you have given up your hopes and dreams or that you wish Allahﷻ would take your life quickly and subtly. Maybe then you wouldn’t feel like this. Maybe then you wouldn’t feel dead inside.

When you experience such life-changing events that you aren't ready to face may lead to this kinda situation. The lost of your loved ones could be one of that reason. Who would have thought that, it could do a lot to a person. The person doesn't remain himself anymore after loosing somebody he loved more than himself. Words can't describe it. Because they haven't invented the precise words for it. Then, you just lost control over yourself, your thoughts. You surround yourself with so many thoughts and then forget how to feel. You just constantly lie about how you feel. And you must keep up appearances. You have to maintain relationships, or else the loneliness will only get worse. You don’t want to unload the hurt you feel onto others. So, you just fake a smile and try to converse with family and friends. I know it's tiring, but you have to do it. It's a part of your living now. You don’t want to be a burden and don’t want others to pity you. You know that your pain is not physical to others, but your pain is real. You feel it everyday. It's lurking beneath your emotions. You're so tired, yet no amount of sleep nourishes you. No amount of crying lighten your heart. What to do now? It's so damn hard to understand that these times won't last forever. Because you lost your capability of rational thinking, when you suffer. It's been a long time and you are still going through it all. Surviving somehow. And it usually happens at the end of the day. When you have spent your day well. But still, when you lay down to sleep in your bed at night, you find that you can’t get to sleep because that empty void comes back again. You feel like, you have got no energy or enjoyment left for life, and no one cares what you feel or how you feel. The two or three people that know cannot empathize. They only offer support when you reach out to them, but you don’t want to be a burden. At times when you need them, you be like can’t they reach out to me? Can’t they tell you, when you say, “Alhamdulillah (all praise be to Allah), I’m alright,” that I’m not alright? This voidness also stop us from approaching for help. It says: you don't want to be a burden to them. They already got their problems, then why should i disturb them. Why should i bother them? Although, so desperately you want someone to save you, yet you know only you can save yourself from this by the will of Allahﷻ. However, people don't understand that we can make bad decisions, say things we wish hadn’t and do things we never would. And the regret kills us from within. We become miserable, and don’t know how to tell this to anyone. We make mistakes, making us aware of what needs to be changed in order to improve. But they don't understand. Can’t they put themselves in our shoes?

It is a battle against yourself (nafs) that only the strongest of will win. I know it's gonna take every ounce of my being to kill this silent lurking monster, voidness. It's necessary to fight against it. If you won't tackle it, it will only gonna worsen the situation. Now, what you need to do is, you should allow positivity to enter your life. Reconnect with yourself with the rememberance of Allahﷻ. Detach yourself from negative energies and make sure that you use your time wisely. Ask Allahﷻ to heal you as he's Al-Jabbar: The One who repairs, reforms and completes. He'll repair you and complete you. Ask Him to forgive you for feeling how you feel. Tell Him how hurt you are. Ask Allahﷻ alone for help as he's An-Naseer: The Helper, the One who supports and defends. I know you can’t ask Him to take your life, so ask Him : “ Grant me life as long as it is good for me, and grant me death when it is better for me.” And finally, always remember even when people disappoint you, Allahﷻ will never. Heﷻ is always there and He will always be there for you. If He has kept you breathing, He has a purpose for you, insha`Allah! "Hasbunallah wa ni'mal-Wakil" : Sufficient for us is Allah, and [He is] the best Disposer of affairs.

“…And whoever is mindful of Allah, He will make for him a way out. And will provide for him from an unexpected source. And when someone puts all his trust in Allah, He will be enough for him.” [Qur’an, At-Talaq | 65:2-3]

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى) cure us all of our illnesses, our distresses, our pains and grant us the best of healing. May Allah ﷻ replace our anxieties, our worries, our fears, our depression and our problems with peace, contentment and barakah, Allahumma ameen! May Allahﷻ protect us all from the Hellfire and forgive me and you for our sins. May heﷻ have mercy upon us all and grant us patience, peace and strong faith!

Ameen ya rabbul alameen.🌼🍃

Fi-Aman-illah! 🍂

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akbarwalks · 3 years

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I ONLY expect #Greatness from my #WCCCD students. Instead of doing the #ReConnect program for #Free tuition I got her #FinancialAid money as a #financialadvisor I pride myself on being of assistance to the community for #selfimprovement . This #Student was Terminated from previous poor #academic performance. I met her on my #OFFDAY just happen to here her getting bad customer service. Long story sort, this Sister ended up going through my reinstatement appeal, and now she’s an all A student. . . Yea I’m the #GOAT imma start talking a bit more crazier 😌😂🤣😂🤣 . Quit playing with my name in these streets. MY REP IS IMPECCABLE!!!! . #allahuakbar #allpraisesduetoallah . #akbarwalks #disneyland #discover #explore #mentalhealthillnessawareness #mentalhealth #college #school #classof2021 #highschool . @maddtown.llc . TAP IN!!! Speak 🗣 now!!! DM or Comment 📚 💴 if you interested . https://youtu.be/QQKNzcNk1-s (at WCCCD Student Nurses' Association) https://www.instagram.com/p/CSdeSpljUi5/?utm_medium=tumblr

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solo843-blog · 5 years

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#allpraisesduetoallah 👳🏾‍♂️ https://www.instagram.com/p/Bsl7mtfB-bc/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1rs1r1jgapsqv

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muneersecstasy · 3 years

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There's a constant battle going inside my head.

There's a constant battle going inside my head. My conscience(Zameer) conflicting with my Nafs. I keep hearing some voices from time to time coming from inside of me, in my mind. I don't understand where do they come from or it is Shaytan who's whispering them in my ears. Stopping me from approaching opportunities. Ceasing my capacity of rational thinking. Making me self-judgmental. Compelling me to start doubting my ownself, my own capabilities. Making me saying things to myself like you're worthless, you’re lazy, you’re stupid, you’re unlovable, etc. Which is eventually making me hate myself. However, forgetting how could you hate yourself? Despite, When Allahﷻ loves you the most. Heﷻ loves you more than seventy mothers. When our prophet Muhammad ﷺ loves you the most. How?

Maybe the reason behind procrastinating over everything is also these voices. Making me lazier day by day. And when I procrastinate, I judge myself pretty harshly, telling myself I’m not a good person, I'm just like a sack of potatoes. Moreover, what concerns me is that everyone is productive and are achieving their goals, except me. Asking myself why I'm not good enough?Somedays, these voices inside of me don't even let me sleep. Spending nights overthinking. Yet, i forget that we're human beings. Our lord created us as humans. And every human has different capabilities and potentialities on the basis of which, we work accordingly. We make mistakes, making us aware of what needs to be changed in order to improve. Besides, every human has their vices too. With whom a person constantly battles or either befriend them, that means to become slave of 'em. These vices or lusts are also aroused by our nafs. When Shaytan and nafs team up against us. They trick us in different different ways with gimmicks and deceptions, to make us go astray. But we should stay steadfast on our deen, and ask Allahﷻ for help and protection from evil. However, we make mistakes, we learn and we overcome. Nevertheless, we do keep repeating some of our mistakes untill we learn from them. Though, people don't see our struggles and just kept throwing their words as knives. They don't think that their mouths could work like a bows and words like arrows. And could criticality damage one's feelings. Even if they kill someone, someday. But who cares. And it is also their words behind the growth of these voices. It isn't easy to win over these voices. It is our conscience which help us to keep fighting the inner battle, against the things that we don't speak out. These troubles we've got may arises through the traumatic events we experience or have experienced. It just end up making a chaos inside your head. It feels like a graveyard, occasionally we end up burying something inside of us. In the end, what we came to realise is that these voices are nothing but created by our own Nafs, when befriended by Shaytan. ["Auzubillahi-Minashaitan-Nirajeem": I seek refuge in Allah from the outcast Shaitan.] And, as for the thoughts, it can be seen as an example of a pathway where different passersby passes and it's upto you to whom do you have to pay attention to. If you gave your attention to the wrong one, it will eventually harm you. And for the right one, it will be beneficial for you. ["In-Sha-Allah": if Allah wills.] And to make a difference between the right and wrong, our conscience works. And ask Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى): "Ya Rabb, grant me the strength to change the things i can, the courage to accept the things i can't, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Somethings are better to be left unsaid. “Whether you conceal what is in your hearts or reveal it, Allah will know it.” He knows what is in the heavens and what is in the earth. Allah is powerful over everything.[ Aal-Imran | 3:29] Indeed. He's all knowing: Rab-ul-alameen. Our pain is as temporary as this world. Every disease has it's cure. Verily, it is our lord who shall heal the chest of his believers. Whosoever believe in his guidance and mercy, his heart will be cured. "...And (He) shall heal the breast of the believers." [At-Tawba | 9:14] Surely, heﷻ test us by putting us in trials. And verily, with hardship comes ease. How can we forget that this worldly life is only temporary enjoyment, and indeed, the hereafter is the home of permanent settlement? We all are here today and gone tomorrow. And all these worldly possessions will end up being worthless. And only our good deeds will remain with us on the day of judgement. May Allah ﷻ forgive us all for our sins. May Allah ﷻ grant us relief from all that suffocates us and constricts us. May heﷻ grant us peace amongst the turmoils and tribulations. May Allah ﷻ grant us protection against laziness, cowardice, miserliness and the punishment of the grave. May Allahﷻ grant our souls dutifulness and purify them from arrogance, envy, egoism, selfishness, greed, lust, intolerance, anger, lying, cheating, gossiping, and slandering. May Allahﷻ guard us all. As he's the bestower of faith and Security: "Al-Mu’min". And the Guardian: "Al-Muhaymin". May Allah ﷻ take our lives when he's most pleased with us and help us all to get over these mental traumas.

Ameen ya rabbul alameen!🌼🍃

Fi-Aman-illah!🥀

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akbarwalks · 3 years

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