#ally but since I have so many ongoing chronic background issues always at hand then anything added on top of it SEEMS worse

[icewindandboringhorror]

I’ve seen this image going around before with people relating to it 

but is anyone else more like this..?

like it results in a similar outcome to the first image (getting nothing done really), but you actually DO have motivation and ability and want to do SO MANY things, it’s just you ALSO must contend with the never ending battle of trying to complete tasks whilst constantly being possessed by the energy of a sickly victorian orphan 

#also not even usually having TOO many life stressors but it;s just like.. due to the fragile mental and physical state - ANY external stress #or seems like too much. When you feel okay most of the time something like 'oh we're a little behind on the rent' can be no big deal like #you just make a plan and take care of it. but when you already Feel Bad on top of that then any relatively ''minor'' life event is #now like 'aAAAAAAA WHAT DO YOU MEAN? ANOTHER THING?? A... task??? I AM ALREADY NOT DOING THE TASKS!!!' #'HOW AM i MEANT TO COPE WITH.... SECOND task???!!' gjhgjh #I mean life stressors are very very difficult to manage too I'm not downplaying them more just clarifying that in my particular #case I feel like sometimes what I consider a 'stressor' would not actually be veru stressful if I were in a better place mentally and physic #ally but since I have so many ongoing chronic background issues always at hand then anything added on top of it SEEMS worse #my schedule and functioning can be easily disrupted by like.. the most minor thing - WHICH IS WHY IT'S HARD FOR ME TO STAY #ON SCHEDULE AND ON TASK #anyway.. jost irritated at the momente #I'm in another one of my Phases where seemingly mutliple issues start acting up at the same time and I just feel worse in many #ways for no reason seemingly - which usually is like a 5 - 14 day bout of Strange Symptom And Feel Bad with no discernable #cause so I hope it will go away soon but it's still bothersome when I have so much I want to get done by the end of the year lol #does anyone remember that old commerical for.. I have no idea what it was for but there was... maybe a basketball player or something?? #just some tall dude going around telling people 'NO NO NO .. NOT IN MY HOUSE!' #anyway that's my body always I gues.. I'm like 'aha I have woken up early and had breakfast and shall now work on writing #and art and videos' and my chronic issues (whatever the hell the even are) just say in that voice 'no no no.. not in MY house!' #don't you even THINK about being productive #I did manage to edit a video today whilst laying on the floor with a heating pad lol but ... I had like.. 3 other things on my list.. which #TECHNICALLY just 'hours in the day' wise i definitely had time to get done as well.. but alas.. T o T #I think my mental stuff contributes to this too since I have sensory sentivity issues and things that would be minor to other people are wor #se to me like.. almost like I have overactive nerves or something.. What one person could shrug off as 'oh a little pain in my arm' my brain #is like 'wHOA STOP THE PRESSES WE'VE GOT A PAIN IN THE ARM!!! A LITTOL PAIN!!! this needs our FULL ATTENTION ALWAYS!!' hhhg #so I'm constantly torn between 'maybe my physical issues are not even bad and I'm just mentally very bad at coping with them' vs. 'they are #actually bad but the mental stuff probably doesn't help lol' ... hmm'st.. I think it also doesn't help that everything is so mysterious #I am officially diagnosed with EDS and as of a few weeks ago tested as definitely Anemic.. everything else like my stomach issues and etc. #have no actual label on them so I'm just always guessing what might help or etc. etc. which is worse for anxiety since my anxiety in specifi #c LOVES clarity and details and will never be soothed by vagueness but .. aa.. ANYWAY