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tex-treasures · 1 year

Text

Cover art by @almaadst ; please consider commissioning her! She's a fantastic artist that genuinely cares about trying to create the image in your heart. If you read this, Alex, please know I'm very grateful for your gorgeous cover art of Tex and Jim, thank you so much✨❤️!!!

A Turning of the Tides

Once upon a time, I made a post talking about an idea I had- a Spontaneous Proposal AU. Well.... Here it is, many months later, finally complete.

Pairing: Tex Sonata x Jim Moriarty

Words: 18,486

CWs: food & eating mention, PG-13 brief moments of suggestiveness, brief blood / corpse mention, violence mention, attempted kidnapping & attempted murder mention, ask to tag

Summary: Tex and Jim, both self-isolating, determinedly independent people, meet in a local park. After spending nearly a whole day together, Jim, sensing something he'd once thought was unattainable and never one to pass up an opportunity, proposes on the spot. Tex's answer changes everything, including what could've easily been if they'd never met when they did. Spontaneous Proposal AU, can be seen as a Canon Divergent AU too.

Taglist (to be added, see this post. To be removed, send an Ask): @selfshipstorm @ratchlite @knightfallships @basilships @sw33tm1lk @ode-to-joie @sugar-and-pearls @secretsappyabode @cyberwoman @flowerbeds-and-fairywings @starlight-avenue @jaimesbeloved @squips-ship @winds-beloved @lc-39a @discountwife @rexscanonwife @morexlapis @owenharpersbitchmalewife @hadegal16 @beeon @heebiecreepies @limey-self-inserts @in-true-blue-love @voidselfshipp (howdy Draco! You showed interest in reading this via the original post explaining the idea so I'm tagging you here just this once!)

A.N: this story is told in somewhat linear chapters, in snapshots of moments, with implied time in-between each one save the first two.

A Turning of the Tides

Diverting Off-Course

It was a chilly autumn afternoon in Regent's Park and barely 2pm when Jim first saw her. She was a tiny thing, standing just at five feet tall, with long dark curls and cinnamon brown skin tinted a dusty pink along her cheeks, nose, and the tips of her ears from the cold. She looked… well. He could only guess as to where she was from– she had a face that could belong just about anywhere, perfectly normal if not foreign.

Jim typically wouldn't have stopped to even notice her but she'd been feeding the local magpies, creating quite a large audience with the feathery mobsters. He didn't care for much in the world but he did take great humor out of watching magpies and because he enjoyed them he'd wanted to double check what the stranger had been feeding them which of course led to him staring at her until she turned and caught his eye.

She froze and so did he. Her eyes were dark, very dark, much like his own and she regarded him openly with a curious wariness as if he too were a stray, hungry bird. Interesting. Why was that interesting? More importantly, there was no point in walking away now, right? Societal customs and all that. So he drew closer, walking in an arc instead of directly towards her as though she herself were likewise something wild, careful not to spook her.

"Hi." Jim said, and because he knew he owed her an explanation, added, "just noticed you were feeding the maggies and wanted to check what it was you were feeding them."

He expected her to be defensive. Maybe tell him to go away but instead, she wordlessly offered the tub out to him once he stopped beside her at a fairly reasonable distance. He took it and peered into it with a smile before handing it back but she declined. With nothing better to do and pleased with her quiet invitation, Jim grabbed a handful of the wild birdseed and tossed it into the air, making several of the more skittish magpies scatter.

"So." He spared her a quick glance to see she was smiling at the birds, "Why are you feeding them?"

She lifted her gaze, her smile not faltering. "Reckon it's the same reason you're feedin' them now."

Ah- an American, and southern at that. He spared her another quick, searching glance- perhaps Native American or Latin American, then. He noticed two colorful little pins, both striped- obviously pride flags- and his curiosity intensified as he registered the fact neither were ones he recognized as WLW.

"I pity the poor bastards." Jim said.

The lady laughed breathlessly. "I thought they were 'maggies.'" she said. "I liked that. Is it common lingo?"

Jim thought so at least- if it wasn't, it should be. "Only the coolest of the cool say it." He explained breezily. Helooked at her sideways and sized her up before adding thoughtfully, "So I suppose you could say it."

She shivered as the wind ruffled her hair, yet, much to his pleasure, she smiled nonetheless. "Well, I'm nearly frigid, so I reckon I do qualify."

"Then why be out here feeding them?" He asked. They were just birds- funny, whimsical birds, but just birds nonetheless. They could very well take care of themselves, after all.

"Because I worry about them." She replied, as if it were the simplest answer in the world, the only answer needed to wholly justify braving such unforgiving weather and in a moment Jim felt seized with a curious need to know what it was like to be these magpies, to be the target of her worry.

If she braved the cold for birds who gave her relatively nothing, what would she do for someone who gave her something? The question buried itself deep into his fertile mind in an instant and despite telling himself it didn't matter, he could feel his attention watering it anyway, determined to unfurl the answer. Perhaps, if he left it alone, it would shrivel up and die.

Perhaps, if he left it alone, it wouldn't.

One of the magpies squawked at them as if to say 'Hey! I'm down here!' and Jim's focus snapped to the present as the lady stepped into his space and carefully reached over to toss more seed, this time much gentler than Jim had. He stood still as the wind scattered some of it away, creating a tiny division in the flock. It also carried her perfume to his nose. He inhaled deeply and felt a flash flood of summertime warmth wash over him like a wave of playful sunlit waters before the wind direction shifted once more, blowing it away to bring back the chill. He shivered, but it had little to do with the cold.

"That's better, ain't it?" Said the lady as she crooned to the smallest and bravest bird while it pecked near her feet.

'No' Jim thought before cursing the wind. He watched the magpie pause to regard her with a cocked head and cleared his throat softly. "Suppose they like you enough for you to be able to call them that anyway." He said idly. "Maggies."

He watched her regard the flock of birds fondly. "They like my food." She corrected in a huff, "They don't like me." Even as she said it, she smiled.

Well. He certainly did, although why was beyond his comprehension. He didn't try to comprehend it either, this desire to talk to her, to keep wanting to talk to her, but he didn't really mind- life was one big conundrum Jim didn't particularly care to solve; he'd tried so often to no avail that now, all he really wanted to do was just have fun while it lasted. He considered her words carefully; at least she was rational. She was going to need to be if she were to survive his insanity and he already knew he wanted her to- she looked like she could have some fun, or at least very well needed to.

He turned to her with a smile. "So, what's your name? I'm Jim."

The lady offered her left hand and said, "Tex."

Jim grinned as he shook it. "Is it really?"

She grinned too. "No. Is yours actually Jim?"

Jim grinned wider. "Technically? No. But let's make a deal- I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

She snorted. "You'll have to earn it."

Ah— an invitation wrapped prettily in the form of a playful challenge! So she wanted him to earn it, wanted him to stay enough to find out. Wanted to have fun. Good. As for the challenge, he did love those; he could wait and see what it took, easy-peasy. He wouldn't even cheat.

"Say, can I buy you a coffee, Tex?" He asked, happy to make the first move on the board, "You know, for the maggies. My treat."

"Oh," Tex frowned. "that's mighty kind of you, but I don't like coffee-"

"Hot chocolate, then?" Jim blurted, "Everyone loves hot chocolate."

"I know several people who don't." Tex answered blithely, "I mean usually it's because they prefer white hot chocolate."

Jim stopped shaking her hand and merely held it as he simultaneously held her gaze. "I'll have you know," he said, tone utterly serious, "I don't support white supremacy- even in chocolate."

Tex barked out a startled laugh, causing some of the more skittish birds to hop and flap away with startled squawks. She didn't seem to notice though, her dark eyes fixed on Jim and after a second, she dropped his hand. "Sure, I— sure." She laughed again, this time a bit quieter, and shook her head. "I could go for a hot chocolate. Um. Thank you."

Ten minutes later Tex sat across from Jim in a booth at the café xe regularly visited on her way to work. She had no idea what she was doing, sitting with a stranger, but when they'd reached the booth Jim had asked which side xe'd prefer so she chose the one facing the exit and he didn't move to sit next to xem. That counted for something, although for what, Tex wasn't too sure. Xe hadn't expected him to talk to her, let alone buy her a drink- yet here they were. He was a strange little diversion, if not a pretty thing with his dark hair and pale skin. His beauty made her nervous, and xe could only count the seconds until he, like the magpies, inevitably realized that xe had nothing of note to really offer.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do now." Tex blurted.

Jim paused in taking a drink to shoot her a confused look.

"I mean. I don't…" oh this was bad, xe was already messing this up, whatever this was supposed to be which she still didn't know. Tex shook xyr head, "I don't um. I don't do this. Meet strangers and have drinks with them, so I-"

"Tell you what Tex," Jim interjected playfully with a big grin on his face, "you sure know how to make a boy feel special."

Tex covered xyr face in xyr hands. "Great." She muttered.

Jim cleared his throat. "We could get to know each other." He offered lightly, "I think that's what happens next."

Xe lowered her hands to peer up at him under her lashes and just barely restrained xemself from asking, 'what happens after that?'. As far as she was concerned, once they were both finished he'd get up and leave for something work related and never come back- just another curious magpie ready to take off at a moment's notice. "You think?" Xe asked, aiming for playful but it came off incredulous even to xyr own ears.

Jim shrugged and frowned lopsidedly as he thought about what he was doing here when he could be at work, being a menace to society and getting luxuriously paid for it. "I don't do this either."

"Why now?" It was out before xe could think to keep it to herself.

He cocked his head at xem and raised a thin, perfectly manicured eyebrow. "I could ask you the same thing; you said you don't do this-"

"I don't."

"So how about you tell me." Jim caught her eye and held her gaze with a small, bemused smile on his face but his eyes, so dark, made xem wonder if something was hiding in them, just under the surface.

Xe looked away. "I—"

"I like your buttons." He gestured to the ones on her bag. "They're pride flags, aren't they?"

Tex stilled for a minute before remembering they were there. She lifted it onto the table. "Thank you. Yes, they are."

He grinned and waved her thanks away. "Tell me what they mean? I only know my own."

Well that was intriguing. Xe pointed to the green, white, grey, and black flag. "This one stands for agender."

He nodded slowly as he recalled that orientation's definition before asking, "So, what are your pronouns?"

Xe took out her phone and wrote them all down before pointing at 'xe/xem/xyr/xemself'. "I love this one the most besides she/her." She said, "You pronounce it like it's spelled with a 'z'. I know- why not spell it with a 'z'; well-"

"You like it that way." Jim answered understandingly.

Xe smiled gratefully at him. "Yeah. You get it. What're your pronouns?"

He grinned. "Oh I'm just he/him. If the shoe fits and all that." He gestured to the other pin, "Tell me about this one?"

She pointed to the bigger one, the one he'd referred to. It was composed of blues, cremes and oranges. "This stands for asexual and aromantic-"

"No way!" Jim cried gleefully, "That's what I am! I didn't know there was a flag for a combination of both!"

"Are you serious?" She asked dazedly before quickly rushing, "I mean- I don't mean I doubt you! It's just really neat that you are-"

"It's fine, I get it– it's rather rare to meet another like me- well, us." He paused, "Feel free not to answer, but what kind of asexual are you? Positive? Neutral? Repulsed? I myself am positive."

"Neutral." Tex answered. "How about with your aromanticism? I'm neutral."

"Somewhat repulsed, somewhat neutral." He shook his head. "Listen, I'm glad you wore your pins. It's one of the things that drew me in when I saw you at the park." He stretched languidly for a moment as he continued, "I don't have any pride flag things nor am I all that interested in owning any but I like seeing other people wear them."

One of the things? Xe couldn't help but wonder what else had drawn his attention but she held xyr tongue. "That's- that's fair." Tex watched him stretch for approximately five seconds before refocusing xyr attention on his cup. "So um, what do you do for work?"

"Business consultation. I also do freelance I.T. and sometimes I tutor online math; and you?"

Huh. So a busy bee. "I'm a homicide detective." Tex answered.

Jim shifted forward in his seat, his dark eyes wide as saucers. He was grinning again, and the sight of his canines flashing under their booth's overhead light made xem instinctually freeze. "You don't say." He drawled. What were the odds? Astronomical, maybe; or at least, it felt astronomical. If only he had pen and paper, he could write it all out properly to the tenth degree.

"You're not one of those true crime weirdos are you?" Tex blurted, eyes trained on his smile. Realizing just how accusatory xe'd sounded, she winced and opened her mouth to try and apologize, eyes wide and imploring as she flicked xyr gaze up to meet his eyes but Jim only laughed and shook his head.

"It's just that I've started a working contract with the Yard- computer forensics is one of my niche qualifications regarding my I.T work. I start on Monday, actually." He paused to regard xem with a thoughtful if not playful expression, "Suppose that means I'll see you there, doesn't it? We might even work together."

Tex thought about asking for some sort of proof before realizing just how weird xe'd sound- why would he lie? Still, the coincidence of it all- first his orientation, now this- it made xem feel jittery, like something big was about to happen and xe hated surprises. "Reckon so. So um, why computers?"

"They're simple, once you get the hang of them, and coding can be rather fun- not to mention extremely useful." He shrugged and glanced out the window, "Besides, they're the future- I'll never run out of work."

"Ah. Neither will I." Tex quipped darkly into xyr cup.

Jim felt something flutter playfully behind his sternum and sucked in a breath, a little stunned if not greatly amused and intrigued by that little display of macabre humor. "So," he said as he fixated on watching xyr hands idly run up and down the sides of xyr styrofoam cup, "what brought you to England?"

"I've always wanted to live here in the UK." Tex explained, "I actually applied to positions in Edinburgh, Cardiff, and some other places, but I got accepted here." Xe paused, "In retrospect, I'm really glad it turned out that way. What about you? That accent ain't English."

Jim barked out a laugh. "No, no it isn't. I came here for work, same as you. Did you move here by yourself?"

"I did. Did you?"

Jim nodded. Funny, how they mirrored each other in that regard, too. It took a lot of moxie to pack up everything and leave familiar territory. "Do you live alone?"

"I do, although I'm very close to my landlady and my upstairs neighbors, both literally and emotionally." Tex answered. "How about yourself?"

"Also alone, but I don't know my neighbors." Jim admitted. It was hard to know them when he rarely slept in the same flat three nights in a row, preferring to hop between his little luxury nests instead for his own peace of mind. He couldn't help but wonder what Tex's looked like; it was no doubt more personable and lived-in than even one of his own.

"Why London?" Tex asked before taking a sip.

Jim took a deep breath and shrugged, letting it out slowly as he considered xyr question. "Well, I like how busy it is here." He answered, "It's alive, y'know? Never a dull moment, thankfully." It was also a rather popular place to commit crime in secret but Jim doubted that could be found in travel brochures.

"I don't know, I'm fond of dull moments." Tex countered boldly. "I find I'm most creative during the dullest of days."

Jim raised his brows and leaned in again, once more interested and spared xyr hands yet another glance. They were small, but had gripped his own snugly when they'd first shaken hands. They'd also been dreadfully cold and in need of warming up. "What do you make?" He asked.

"Art, mostly. Lots of traditional art, but some digital too. I also like to sing to myself and sometimes, I even write poetry."

"Would you show me?" Jim blurted.

"The art or the poetry?"

He wanted all of it. "What if," he grinned, cupid's bow lips stretching into a playful little thing, "I'd meant your singing?"

Tex snorted. "Surely not here and now- besides, I don't sing for people I don't know."

He'd just have to earn that too, then. "The art then, please?"

Tex hesitated for a second but only a second before smiling and agreeing. Xe told xemself not to get too invested in his opinions of her works, to not expect anything more than a polite but bland 'oh, that's nice' as she scrolled through her gallery until xe found something she thought he may like- a watercolor painting of a pair of magpies.

Jim grinned at the screen as he examined it closely, eyes wide in search of xyr name, leaning fully against the table with his head propped up by his gloved hands and his elbows on the wooden surface. Sure enough, he could see it– her signature 'Tex' on the bottom. Damn, he was hoping it would've been xyr real name… He couldn't help but mentally applaud xem; she was good, he'd give xem that.

"This is so cracker," he drawled slowly as he continued to grin at the screen, "I really love the way you included the sketch lines with the watercolor; it makes it more eye-catching. The anatomy looks good too, it's fluid- like they're really going to fly off the page."

Slightly overwhelmed, Tex could do little more than earnestly thank him with xyr heart in her throat. "It really means a lot to me that you feel that way," xe pressed, "thank you for taking the time to think about it, really."

He couldn't help but observe xe wasn't used to praise, or at least not thoughtful praise, and her warm, sweetly enthusiastic gratitude struck him with a singular desire to do it again if not selfishly to receive it once more but xe put her phone away.

"So yeah," Tex cleared xyr throat, "do you have any hobbies?"

"I enjoy crosswords, sudoku, solitaire, and jigsaw puzzles." He answered, "I've even framed some of the ones I've completed." All his puzzle art stayed in one flat, his favorite flat, the one that overlooked the Thames.

Tex laughed but before he could react, quickly rushed to say, "Sorry! I wasn't laughing at your hobbies- I like them, I promise! I was just laughing at the thought of you hanging up your crosswords for some reason instead of the jigsaws you implied."

Jim leaned back in his chair and laughed into his drink. "Maybe I'll do that one day for the hell of it."

"If you did, I'd have to see!" Tex blurted with a thoughtless smile, "It would be so funny- definitely would have to be one hell of a crossword puzzle too, I reckon."

Sensing an opportunity, he spared her a coy look. "That would require you to come over." He said breezily, "Or at the very least, a phone number to text a photo."

Tex laughed breathlessly. "Okay, okay; here." She pulled xyr phone out and they took a second to swap information. Once they were done xe shot him an appraising look, "That was extremely smooth of you."

Jim preened. "Stick around and you'll find it's a recurring character trait."

Xe bit xyr lip and stared down at her phone. "Maybe I will, then."

As he regarded her, he realized he didn't want a 'maybe'. They were having fun, weren't they? He sure was. It would be a pity to stop sometime and never continue. He cleared his throat. "How would you feel about walking around the city with me?"

She blinked and cocked xyr head at him. "You're not busy?"

Sure, extremely so, but an email alone would clear his plans for the day if xe just agreed to it. He shook his head. "Are you?"

"Ah, no."

He spared xem a hopeful look. "Would you like to?"

Tex ducked xyr head and smiled down at his gloved hands. They were black and had been extremely soft, like kidskin, the fingertips touch screen compatible- she'd never seen gloves like them before. "I would."

Relieved, Jim sucked in a quiet breath. "Then we'll go when you're ready." He then pulled his phone out and cleared his day. When he looked up, he froze at the look of bemused wonder on xyr face and offered a purposefully nervous smile.

"What?" He asked.

"Is this really how it's going to be?" Tex blurted, her voice perfectly reflecting her expression, "We just met and we're going to spend the rest of the day together?"

He grinned. "Yeah. Some story, isn't it?"

Xe looked away. "Stories end."

Ah— so he wasn't alone here, then. He cleared his throat. "This one doesn't have to." He offered lightly. Before she could say anything, he added, "Finished with your drink?"

"Yes sir," xe said. "How about this? I'll stop by the restroom to give you another chance to skedaddle; if you're still here when I get back, I'll owe you a drink sometime too- y'know, to settle the score and all that."

He grinned. "Cor. Sounds like a plan."

Tex only smiled and shook xyr head before grabbing xyr bag to wander towards the back of the café, thoroughly convinced that he'd be gone when she returned. The mere thought of him disappearing hurt but he appeared just as suddenly- who was to say what would happen next? She didn't particularly care to see him vanish but as long as xe didn't get xyr hopes up it wouldn't matter, right?

So of course, he was still there when xe returned.

'He's crazy.' She thought. 'I'm crazy.'

He glanced up at her, the soft crows feet around his eyes drawing her attention yet again to his dark, glittering eyes. "Well, look at that!" He said, sounding and looking thoroughly shocked with his eyes wide and eyebrows hiked up to his sharp hairline, "I'm still here!" He then grinned at xem.

She quickly looked away but not quick enough to hide xyr smile, amused if not intimidated by how his eyes held so much mirth; evidently, xe hadn't done a good job in hiding xyr surprise when she'd returned. "Ready to go?" She asked.

He shot up out of his chair and together they left the café, Jim opening the door for her before she could reach it and she thanked him softly, resolved to get the next one for him if they came across one. The cold air smacked their faces at once but they didn't mind- it was hard to focus on the cold when they were too busy talking and walking, Jim leading the way while Tex made a mental note of where they were going via the street signs.

"So where are you from originally?" Tex asked.

"Dublin," Jim replied. "Is it safe to assume you're from your namesake?"

Tex smiled at his subtle display of knowledge. "It is."

"Do you enjoy living here?"

"I enjoy my little slice of the city." Tex answered, "I'm not a fan of inner central London but that's only because I don't like bustling crowds of people."

"The tube must feel like a nightmare, then." he speculated, "That's if you take it."

"Oh, I do," she confirmed, "but I don't mind it. I can put my headphones on and block out everyone around me." Xe paused, "Granted, I'd rather not do that- I'd prefer to chat with strangers but alas folks here don't take too kindly to that."

Jim laughed. "I take it that's a Texas thing? Talking to strangers?"

Tex spared him a grin. "For the most part. I reckon it's safe to say that southerners in America generally enjoy chatting with anybody willing. As for myself, I just enjoy hearing other people's stories."

"I also like hearing other people's stories," Jim said, "however I'm usually getting paid for that."

"That's part of the consultation business, I take it?"

He grinned and nodded.

"Reckon that means I should be honored you're not charging me," xe quipped, "unless you asked for my number to send me an invoice?"

Jim laughed. "Depends; do you have anything in life in need of fixing? If so, I would give you a discount-" he shot xem a faux serious look and hoped she'd see right through it as he added somberly, "you know, for the maggies."

Sure enough, Tex giggled. "Who doesn't have something in need of fixing in their own life?"

Jim couldn't help but agree. "What would you fix?"

"Reckon I'd fix my weekends; occupy them with more things to do and push myself to leave the house more too- I'm kind of a recluse." Tex spared him a glance to see him smiling at her. "What?"

Jim shook his head. "I just thought it was funny we both want to fix the same things."

Tex cleared xyr throat, grateful the sting of the cold already had her blushing because if xe wasn't already, xe surely would now. "Maybe… maybe we could um, well," she shrugged, "help each other?"

Jim shot xem a sunny look. "I like the way you think." He paused to admire her shy, sweet smile before asking, "Quick, what are some places you've already decided you'd like to visit or revisit?"

Tex stumbled and quickly righted xemself. "Um, well, I haven't been to the aquarium yet," she answered. "Or any of the historical sites."

He gasped and shot xem a wide-eyed, scandalized look. "None of them?"

She shook her head.

"Well," he huffed, "we can't have that. I say we visit the Tower first."

Tex stared at his profile for a moment, simply shocked by his earnestness and quickly looked away when he glanced at her. "Alright," xe agreed dazedly, "that sounds good to me."

They spent the next several minutes planning different places to visit. Tex would've disregarded it entirely, convinced he was talking to talk and didn't mean a single word but then he'd pulled his phone out and she could clearly see his calendar app open as she told him about xyr work schedule and what days xe'd be free.

His sincerity struck xem like a rogue wave and with it, xe felt herself get carried away, drawn to him even as the more rational side of her brain hissed at her to be careful, to not get xyr hopes up, to expect him to eventually find xem boring or not worth it and ghost xem like so many others had before.

They continued to make plans as they chatted- a weekend trip to visit the Dover cliffs here, an evening spent in the Shard there- their words and movements languid but their dark eyes were bright, their cheeks warm, as they coordinated and planned until inevitably, a landmark would remind one of them of a story, which of course demanded to be heard. From stories came questions, from questions, opinions and ideas. Tex marveled at him quietly, grateful for his keen attentiveness and occasional wit; his intellect simultaneously intimidated and inspired xem as he shared his mind freely with her and xyr gratitude for his consideration and willing, even eager and encouraging ear, knew no bounds.

They stopped halfway through Tower bridge to rest and lean against the railings and watch the sunset- funny, neither of them had expected it, too wrapped up in their conversations but perhaps, in an attempt to avoid acknowledging the day-and thus their time- was drawing to a close, neither of them commented on the suddenness of it. They stood in companionable silence together and for the first time in a long time, Jim felt… content.

It didn't last long of course- as Jim continued to stare at the setting sun he felt a sense of urgency rise in its place. He turned to look at Tex and paused to admire xyr face bathed in golden, dying light; xe looked peaceful there beside him, and he knew instantly that he wanted to know what she'd look like first thing in the morning and before bed, if xe would continue to look as peaceful as she did now. When xe noticed he was looking at xem, she turned to give him a nervous, tiny smile.

"What's that look for?" She asked.

"Tex," Jim said calmly despite his own nerves singing or perhaps screaming at him, "how would you feel if I asked you to marry me?"

Tex startled. "I'm- I'm not, I mean, I'm-"

Jim smirked. "Take a breath."

Xe did just that and let it out in an audible rush. "You're joking, right? Because if so, it's not funny-"

Jim's smirk slipped off his face as he looked her dead in the eye. "No." He paused and let his tone take on a more hopeful lilt, "Tex, I want you to marry me."

"I'm not uh, I mean," she shook xyr head, "you wouldn't want to marry me-"

"Why?" Jim asked, somewhere between amused and annoyed, "I just asked if-"

Tex cut him off with a waved hand. "Because! I'm… I'm practically mute most mornings. Part of my autism is that I'm touch averse, and don't like being touched much especially without permission so I'm not the cuddliest of people. I-" xe paused to shake her head again; xe wasn't saying no, she was just offering excuses and really, xe should just say no because it would be for both their benefit surely but when she opened xyr mouth again all that came out was a bleak, "Why?"

"Because I like you," Jim said simply.

"You've got to have met tons of people you right away liked!" Tex challenged. "Are you saying you never proposed to any of them?"

"I am." Jim replied firmly. "Look, you don't understand- I like you."

Tex shot him a confused look. "What? You don't like most people?"

Jim raised a brow at her. "Do you?"

Xe made an involuntary, disgusted noise, "No."

Jim laughed delightedly. "But you like me, right?" He pressed, "I mean, you did spend nearly all day with me."

Tex bit her lip and turned away to stare out at the bleeding horizon and thought about how when people feel seasick, looking at the horizon was supposed to help ground them. Right now however, it did nothing to quell the rising tidal wave of emotion rolling through xem, shifting inside her chest, growing and growing.

"I did." She breathed, realization crashing all around xem. Xe cleared her throat but couldn't raise it above a whisper, "I… I do. Like you, I mean."

He flicked his eyes down to stare at her hands clenching onto the railing. "May I stand closely beside you?"

Tex closed her eyes and focused on rolling with the raging storm of emotions brewing deep inside xyr chest instead of fighting them. Maybe when xe opened them he'd be gone. The thought hurt more than it should. "You may."

Jim brushed shoulders with xem, pleased when she didn't pull away, and waited until she looked up at him. When xe did, he merely caught her gaze and said, once more, "I want you to marry me."

"I don't want children." Xe said firmly.

He couldn't help but grin at the implications of xyr words. "Whew," Jim mimed wiping sweat off his brow, "neither do I- glad we had that talk."

"What about finances?" Tex offered weakly.

"I can have my lawyer draw up a prenuptial agreement if you'd like." Jim offered easily.

"Do you snore?" She blurted, "Because if you do, I won't lie to you, I'd have to say no-"

"Oh really?" Jim laughed, "Good thing I don't snore, then."

Tex settled him with a stern look. "How do you know?"

"My brother. In fact, he's the one who snores so really, you're getting the better brother out of this-"

"That's! That's another thing!" Xe cried, "Shouldn't I meet your family and you meet mine?"

"We could do that during the engagement." Jim offered breezily.

Damn. They could. Why didn't xe think of that? Tex shook xyr head. "I want a cat. I've always wanted a cat; are you allergic to those or otherwise opposed?"

Jim paused. "No, I'm not allergic," he answered slowly, "but I'd rather not have cat hair on my suits."

"That's why I'd groom it often and keep the place vacuumed and lint rollers on hand and— wait," Tex blinked at him. "Did you just say suits? As in, plural? You own more than one suit?"

Jim scoffed. "I'm not a bloody animal, Texie."

Good thing he'd already offered to draw up a prenup. Xe was grasping at straws here and yet here he was, standing there looking as cool as a cucumber. "Don't you have any of your own questions for me?" She challenged.

Jim tapped his chin and hummed. "Hmmmm yes, actually." He dropped his hand and his gaze to look at xem, "Will you marry me?"

Tex took a deep breath and let it out slowly but it did nothing to quell the fire in xyr chest, burning across her cheeks. "I meant any questions you feel pertinent to ask before you ask me that."

"Okay, okay," Jim cleared his throat, "Do you prefer the left or right side of the bed?"

Hell, the cold couldn't touch xyr face- it was on fire. "Left; I– I like sleeping on my left side too."

Jim grinned. "Cor, because I like sleeping on my right." It kept his dominant hand free to defend himself if need be. "You said you're mute most mornings." He cocked his head at xem and squinted, "Think you could use a dry erase board if I got you one?"

Tex blinked slowly; xe could see it– them in the kitchen, him solving the daily crossword puzzle in the morning newspaper, her doodling on the dry erase board, them eating in silence, maybe with their feet tangled under the table. It felt painfully domestic and not at all unpleasant like she expected it to.

"I– I reckon so, yes sir." Xe said meekly.

"Perfect." Jim grinned wider. "So, what's it going to be? You haven't actually answered me and I've asked several times-"

"Ain't you supposed to, I don't know, get down on one knee when you ask?" Tex joked weakly.

To xyr horror, he sank down right there on the bridge beside her and a small crowd quickly gathered to watch. She almost considered yelling at them to mind their damn business when he took xyr left hand and effectively refocused her attention on him.

"Will you marry me?" He asked, voice still as soft and sweet as the first time he asked.

"You don't even know my actual name." She whispered.

"I don't need to." He whispered back playfully. He grinned again, "Anyway, I'm sure you'll tell me before the wedding date."

"What if I don't?" Xe blurted.

He laughed. "'Tex Moriarty' has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"

She stared at him, really stared at him. Obviously, there was a screw loose or completely frickin' missing inside his head but he was funny and listened to xem and each time she'd found herself staring into his eyes he never flinched or looked away and oh… oh, there was something missing inside xem too, wasn't there? Xe could only hope they'd both find whatever they were missing in each other's company.

"O-okay." Tex said shakily before clearing her throat and when xe spoke again Jim quietly marveled over the fact xyr voice didn't waver, "Okay. Yes, I'll marry you."

Xe watched as his entire face lit up with an incandescent joy so intense she would've thought he truly had pulled an elaborate prank on her if it weren't for the fact she had spent the entire day watching him vividly emote to the most mundane things and xe realized with a mix of dread and wonder that xe was quickly growing attached to the expressions he made.

He got up while still holding her hand and as the strangers around them clapped for them, he lifted it to his lips and kissed her knuckles.

"You won't regret this." Jim promised.

This all still felt like a dream, everything roiling and shifting around them in the blur of all the people but he felt real and with nothing else to hold on to, no other horizon to gaze at, xe held onto him and regarded him with dazed, wide eyes. If he wanted to roost with xem then so be it– she'd give him until the actual wedding day to fly off.

❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~

Playing Catch-Up

The next time they laid eyes on each other was inside Scotland Yard as Lestrade- Tex's boss, Jim's client- introduced them the following Monday morning.

"Detective Sonata, this is Mr. Moriarty." Lestrade introduced smoothly. "He's going to be working as part of the I.T department."

Tex froze. "Um. I— I know."

"Right. So he'll— hold on." Lestrade rounded on xem to stare at her hawkishly, even cocking his head. "What do you mean you know? I haven't told anybody about him."

"We, um. We… We're um, well…" Tex shot a helpless look at Jim. She couldn't just say, 'oh, we met recently' and leave it at that, now could xe? No, of course not. Xe couldn't just tell him the truth of it either; what if Jim outright denied it and everything was a lie and xe was living some sort of half baked daydream turned nightmare?

Jim, who saw xyr turmoil clearly in the wide, imploring gaze she fixed him with, swallowed down a laugh before clearing his throat to earn Lestrade's attention. Once he had it, he simply said, "We're engaged, Mr. Lestrade."

Lestrade raised a brow at him before turning around once more to stare even more intensely at Tex, his tan face reddening the more he stared at xem. He almost thought this was a prank, but then he remembered he was dealing with Tex of all people. "Engaged? Really?" When she nodded he merely shook his head. "Blimey Texie-" he spared Jim a look, "no offense, of course-"

"None taken." Jim answered. "I can imagine it's a lot to take in all at once."

Satisfied his newest employee didn't hate him, he fixated once more on Tex. "Does Mycroft know?"

Jim raised a brow- what a unique name; Lestrade wouldn't have mentioned it if this Mycroft fellow wasn't important. Tex herself hadn't mentioned him yet before so he could only guess as to their relationship with xem.

"Doesn't he know everything?" Tex quipped dryly.

Ah, a clue. Perhaps a good friend, or brother figure? Why else respond like that- xe had sounded almost frustrated but there was an undercurrent of humor, too. Conclusion: Mycroft, whoever he was, is generally aware of most things happening- most probably an older brother.

Greg was undeterred. "Does he?"

Tex shrunk. "No, not yet. Nobody knows-"

"What?" He turned to Jim and shot him a look, opened his mouth but seemed to think better of it before turning back to Tex with a stern look on his face. "You better tell them all before I do. I'm giving you the end of today, do you hear me?"

"Yes sir." Tex answered with a mock salute.

He rolled his eyes and offered a hand to Jim. Jim took it readily.

"I don't know how you did it, or when, but good Lord, congratulations." Lestrade said warmly. He tightened his grip for a moment as he stared deep into Jim's eyes, his brown eyes unwavering as he silently dared Jim to look away. "I hope you know just how bloody lucky you are." He said gravely.

Jim stared back unflinchingly with a smile- clearly, Lestrade wasn't just xyr boss, but a dear friend of hers too. How many people did Tex know? How many cared about xem so strongly? Certainly more than the people who cared about him. He didn't know, but he did know he was looking forward to becoming one of them. "Don't worry," he said reassuringly, "I do."

They regarded each other with tense stares until Tex cleared xyr throat and Lestrade finally dropped Jim's hand.

"Well," Lestrade rested his fists on his hips, "this doesn't really change anything although… " He paused and spared Tex an apologetic look. "I'm obligated to say I expect professional behavior from both of you while on the premises."

Tex flushed. "Of- of course, sir."

Jim would have laughed if he knew he could get away with it. Instead, he forced himself to appear sincere as he nodded and crossed his arms. "Absolutely, boss. We'll be on our best behavior- no kissing whatsoever in the corridor or in the supply closet, got it."

Tex nearly squeaked in embarrassment as Lestrade spared him an unimpressed look that said he saw right through him but thankfully, he didn't press. He ran a hand through his salt and pepper hair before pointing at Tex. "Remember," he ordered sternly, "you've got till the end of the day. I mean it. I'll be checking."

Tex swallowed hard and nodded, afraid of xyr voice failing xem. As soon as he was gone, Jim bumped his shoulder against hers.

"Suppose it would be easier if I just come with you to break the news, wouldn't it?" He asked. "That way we kill two birds with one stone."

"As long as they're not maggies." Xe murmured.

"No— hell no," he laughed and shook his head, "of course not."

"Thank you." She blurted.

He waved xem off. "Your friends will need to meet me eventually-"

"No, no I meant," Tex took a deep breath, "I meant thank you for… for explaining it to Lestrade. I- I was afraid of you denying it if I told him." She hid xyr face in her hands, "This all just feels so unreal-"

She flinched as he rested a gentle hand on her shoulder but didn't shrug it off. Sensing xe wouldn't pull away, Jim slowly pulled xem to him into a sideways hug- it wasn't a proper first hug but it would have to do; he did promise to be professional after all, at least for xyr sake. After a quiet moment, xe melted into his touch and pulled xyr hands away to look up at him— only to melt a bit more as xe noticed the fond look on his face.

"Do you feel me?" He asked.

She blinked. "Yes sir."

"Then you know this is real." He said simply. "And when it comes time to introduce me to everyone, I'll be here, just like this if you want. Okay?"

Funny how with just a few words, he could lift the weight in xyr chest. 'If you want'. When was the last time anyone asked that- what xe wanted? She inhaled sharply and nodded before deciding to reach back by gently taking his hand. "Okay."

He grinned and pulled away but didn't tug his hand out of xyr grasp. Instead, he interlocked their fingers and gave hers a gentle squeeze. "Good. I'll see you after work and we can take it from there, alright?"

Tex laughed softly and squeezed his fingers back. "Alright."

He considered kissing her hand but no, he'd wait. They parted ways, Tex going left and Jim going right, both sparing each other one last glimpse, one last smile, before they turned around their respective corners. As soon as work was over and they were off the clock, they took the tube back to xyr flat on Baker Street and once they were at the door, Jim froze as he stared at the golden '221B' plaque against the black matte wood.

"So um, I live here, uh, in 221C," xe said as xe opened the door for them to walk inside. He followed quietly after, mind reeling with the information bombarding him- he knew this place; this was Sherlock Holmes' address, his enemy's address which meant Tex was friendly with him. How could he have known when he first met xem, known that xe was so very close in both meanings of the word to the very man he'd sought to destroy? How could he think to destroy him, even now, without destroying what he was actively trying to cultivate with Tex?

Jim blinked but it did nothing to stop his head from spinning. "You said you were close to your upstairs neighbors." Jim blurted, "I assume we'll be meeting them?"

"Yes to both. My other friends are going to be there too." Xe answered, sparing the dark staircase a pensive look.

He took her left hand and squeezed it gently. "After you- I'll be right behind you."

He joined xem up the stairs, heart pounding in his chest harder and harder with each step, surprised and touched as she didn't once look back to check and see if he was still following. Xe knocked on the door and Jim stopped breathing as it opened and revealed none other than the very man he'd least expected to see.

"Ah, Texie," Sherlock greeted warmly in that rich baritone of his before sliding his pale, clinical eyes over to stare at Jim, "and you've brought… oh. Interesting." He flicked his eyes back to Tex and smiled enigmatically. "Come in, both of you. John's just put the kettle on."

Jim let out a quiet breath; this was not how he expected to meet his nemesis but there was nothing he could do about it now. He followed wordlessly after Tex and hung back by the door as he watched Sherlock hug and kiss the top of Tex's head in greeting before ruffling xyr hair with crinkled eyes and a crooked smile.

It was… oddly fraternal. Something he would do with his own little brother.

"Mycroft's here too, as you requested," Sherlock said. "He's in the kitchen with John and the others."

Tex nodded sharply. "Thanks. Can you please let Molly know I'm here? I'd like to tell them something outside real quick- let her know I'll be right outside the door."

"Sure," Sherlock said. Jim froze once more as Sherlock's eyes flicked over to gauge him before he turned away into the kitchen.

"Do you want me to be there?" Jim asked quietly.

"No; Molly is prone to getting excitable about things like this and I'd rather tell them first since I'm sure the others won't react as strongly as her." She paused to shoot him a pained look, "Will you be alright until I get back or would you like to wait in my flat and I'll come get you?"

Jim smiled at xyr considerate offer and shook his head. "I'll manage just fine here."

Tex bit xyr lip. "You won't tell them the news?"

"No. I'll wait."

A brunette wearing a blue plaid shirt and jeans approached them with a curious twinkle in her light brown eyes- clearly Molly.

"Hola amorcita linda," Tex greeted them with a kiss on the cheek. "Mind if I steal you away for a moment?"

Molly spared Jim a searching glance and thought to ask Tex to introduce them but then thought better of it- obviously, Tex would do so when xe was ready. They smiled. "Of course; lead the way."

When they'd reached the bottom of the staircase, Tex turned around, squared xyr shoulders, looked Molly in the eyes, and said, "That man you saw- his name is Jim. We met yesterday and after spending nearly all day together, he proposed to me and I-" xe cleared her throat, "well, I said yes."

Molly reared back and stared at xem in shock. "And you said yes?" Molly squeaked, their eyes flicking between the door and Tex's face, "Just… just like that? Yes?"

"I know it sounds insane but… Yes." Tex answered lamely. Xe sighed, "Molly-"

Molly shushed her suddenly and drew close to whisper, their light brown eyes urgent. "Do you want me to refer you to someone? I know a couple safe clinics-"

"No," Tex interjected sternly, "just– just no-"

Molly's eyes grew impossibly wider. "Is he trying to incentivise you to carry it to term? Do you actually want to? Because if so I could send you some articles on what vitamins to take-"

Tex gingerly took both of Molly's hands and held them between them. "Listen to me," she said slowly, "I'm not expecting."

"So… so why?"

Tex opened xyr mouth only to find nothing would come forth. "I just… I wanted to. I think, or at least feel, there's a connection there, Molls."

Xyr voice had been small, but firm. Because of that, Molly didn't push her further or open their mouth to dispute xyr claim. Still. "Well, go on then, tell me about him."

"Like what?"

"What's…" they paused and interlocked their fingers together. "What's his favorite colour?"

"Red."

"Political leanings?"

Leave it to Molly to make leaps in their questioning. Now it was Tex's turn to hesitate. "You know I don't know y'all's system that well-"

Molly rubbed their thumb along Tex's. "Just answer me this: he's not a bloody tory, is he?"

Tex shook xyr head. "He believes minorities deserve rights."

"Oh. Well, that's good then." She paused and gave xem a long, searching look. "Does he make you happy?"

"Yes and it scares me." Tex blurted softly.

They gently squeezed xyr hands. "Because you're afraid he'll change his mind and drop you." Molly's voice didn't lilt- it wasn't a question but a deduction; they was smarter than anyone ever gave them credit for. When Tex looked away it only confirmed it.

"Hey, look at me," she asked softly. When xe looked up at them, Molly gently added, "if he does, I'll just murder him myself."

It had the desired effect- Tex laughed and shook xyr head. "Thank you, Molly. Really."

Molly's shoulders slumped and they smiled at xem; now that Molly was, for lack of a better word, mollified, they focused on the positive once more and cried, "My God, look at you! Texie, you're getting married!"

"I know!" Tex cried playfully, "I–" she paused to lift their hand, still holding hers, up and rested it against xyr cheek, "If it actually happens, know I'll want you to please be my maid of honor."

"Oh," Molly blinked hard as they felt tears well up unexpectedly in their eyes and swiftly pulled xem in for a hug. "I'd be so- so, well, honored, Texie- of course! I'd love to!"

Tex melted into their embrace. This… even if nobody else approved, all that mattered was her support. "Thank you, Molly." Xe whispered, "Seriously, just… thank you."

"Oh don't thank me yet." Molly replied playfully as they pulled away and pecked xyr cheek, "I'm going to grill him like a kebab the first chance I get."

Tex laughed softly, xyr thoughts lingering on Jim stuck in the flat with the boys. "Let's go," xe said, "he's been alone up there longer than I'm comfortable with."

When they reentered, they walked into a room full of laughter as Jim sat perched on an armrest of one of the chairs facing the kitchen with a mug in his hand. He swiveled his head and beamed at Tex and Molly, watching closely, felt a little of her apprehension melt away at the sight of it.

"Hey you," he greeted softly before sparing Molly a glance, "I take it you had a good chat?"

Molly smirked. "We did. It's a pleasure to meet you, Jim."

He grinned. "You too, Molly."

"Jim here was just telling us about his I.T. work." John explained playfully, "Reminds me of my own in the clinic."

"Oh?" Tex drawled, "And how so?"

Jim shot John a playful look. "We're both used to dealing with idiots who really should know better. Although I'll admit; I could never do what you do."

John laughed, "Neither could I with what you do, mate."

"He's telling the truth," Mike cut in playfully before pretending to whisper as he pointed behind his hand at John, "bloke still henpecks."

Jim gasped sharply and snapped his attention to John with wide, hurtful eyes. He put his hand over his chest. "John," he breathed, "do I need to give you typing classes?"

"Good God, please do," Sherlock deadpanned but Jim could see it, see the twinkle of fondness in his pale eyes as Sherlock gazed at John, "maybe then he won't drive me mad the next time he types up one of his bloody blog entries."

John blushed and shook his head. "Are we all quite finished?" He asked blandly but Tex, careful to sense distress, could tell by the crinkle around the blond's dark blue eyes that he wasn't bothered in the slightest.

Sherlock arched a thick brow and opened his mouth but Tex cut in smoothly. "Yes I reckon so," she glanced feverishly over at Jim and Jim shifted closer to offer his hand.

Xe took it wordlessly, aware of several eyes on them both, and cleared xyr throat. "So um." She giggled nervously and squeezed his hand, not bothering to try and beat around the bush, "We're engaged."

Nobody spoke. Nobody moved, save Molly, who merely grinned and glanced around to see how everyone else was taking the news.

Finally, Mike cleared his throat. "Sorry," he said, "but I thought I misheard you-"

Tex shook xyr head. "No um. No."

"So. Not dating." John said next, blinking slowly. "But engaged."

Jim shrugged one arm. "I mean, teeeeechnically? Yes we're dating, but also yes, we're engaged. Just layers, really, isn't it? Like a pastry."

Tex almost laughed but then she locked eyes with Sherlock. Sherlock raised both brows at xem as his eyes fluttered about her person. "Like a pastry." He echoed flatly.

She turned her attention to the brother whose opinion xe feared more only to see Mycroft not looking at xem but instead at Jim, his eyes narrowed and his gaze cold and calculating.

"So, um." John blinked and, grappling for normalcy, asked, "How'd you two meet?"

"Why Dr. Watson, what a fantastic question. How about he tells you, Sherlock, Mr. Stamford, and Dr. Hooper outside?" Mycroft cut in, his voice soft and amiable despite his gaze still sharp and cold, "I need to have a word with my sister here."

"Oh! That's a great idea!" Molly offered weakly before gently taking Mike's hand to guide him along. John spared Tex a look of sympathy before following them and Jim hung back to briefly touch Tex's shoulder.

"I'll just be right outside, okay?" He said quietly.

Tex nodded and once Jim was out the door, it left just Sherlock and Mycroft, the two of them standing on either side of Tex

Mycroft turned to Sherlock. "Anything you have to say has already crossed my mind to ask." He said matter-of-factly. "Go outside with the others and mind the door to make sure there's no eavesdropping, won't you brother dear?"

"Why should you be the one asking questions?" Sherlock hissed. "I doubt you've considered-"

"You live upstairs. I live fifteen minutes away." Mycroft interjected flatly before adding condescendingly, "Don't tell me you can't wait your turn- I thought you'd finally outgrown that."

Sherlock scowled deeply and stormed off to join the others outside. Once they were alone, Mycroft rounded on her and, after checking xyr touch indicator bracelet to see it was green, rested both hands firmly on her shoulders, forcing xem to look him in the eyes.

"Now, given as time is of the essence, I beg you not to dilly dally by withholding information from me- especially as you know between Sherlock and I, the truth will out." Mycroft paused to take a breath and stare into xyr eyes, "Is he blackmailing you?"

Tex blinked. "No."

"Has he threatened to blackmail you-"

"No-"

"-or someone you love?"

Tex shook her head and Mycroft scowled deeply at her, pale eyes searching xyr person in feverish, almost fearful glances.

"What?" Tex blurted.

Mycroft scowled deeper. "I feel the need to ask, although I know for certain you never would, but are you perhaps… expecting?" It sounded like xe'd wrenched the word right out of his mouth yet it left her feeling pained.

"No," Tex shook her head vehemently and threw xyr hands in the air. "Why does everyone keep asking that?"

Mycroft's scowl morphed into a more familiar bemused smile. "I think you've forgotten that you're female presenting."

It was Tex's turn to scowl but Mycroft only laughed. "Well, now that that's out of the way, I'm going to go ahead and run a full background check on him."

Tex laughed softly, "I wouldn't expect anything less. Thank you. Try not to scare him away, won't you?"

Mycroft raised a brow. "If he's determined to stay, then he should be just fine."

Tex sighed. "Mykie-"

"Why did you say yes?" Mycroft asked quietly.

Xe stilled. "I… no offense, but I don't know if you'd understand."

"Then help me." He said softly. "It's the last question I'll ask regarding the matter, I promise you. Just answer me that."

Tex began to pace quietly and Mycroft, ever patient, merely watched and waited.

"All my life, I've felt like— like a shadow." Tex began, "Existing, but barely there; not noticeable unless you squint and even then, not worth paying attention to further than a passing glimpse. Then this person comes along and sees me, Mycroft; he genuinely sees me and what's more, he likes what he sees! Likes it enough that after just a whole day together, tells me he wants to see me for the rest of his life!" Xe quit pacing to whirl around and gaze at him helplessly. "To be completely frank, I don't know if he'll stay. I can't put my faith in it that he will- can't afford to. But my Stars, Mykie, I know I want him to and that terrifies me because I never expect anyone to stay, you know that– or perhaps, you've had an inkling. Am I right?"

Mycroft grimaced. "Yes, you are."

Tex grabbed at xyr hair and ruffled it. "I want this to work."

"You must understand," he said gingerly, "it's all just… very sudden-"

"I know." Tex growled. Xe sighed and shook xyr head, "I just wish I understood it all, wish I understood why he asked me in the first place."

Mycroft smiled wryly. "I could interrogate him."

Tex barked out a startled laugh. "You doing a background check is plenty enough, don't you?"

Mycroft didn't hesitate. "For you, my dear? No. I assure you, it's the bare minimum but I know you'd consider any further steps I would consider taking on my part as egregious so I'll just say this," he paused and made sure she was looking him in the eyes before softly continuing, "if anything turns sour, not that I'm saying I predict it will, then just say the word and I'll take care of it. Okay?"

Tex swallowed hard and nodded. "Okay."

Mycroft sniffed and nodded once. "Bring them in, won't you?"

He stood up as Tex invited everyone back in and walked steadfast to Jim before offering a cool hand. Jim didn't hesitate to take it but he did hesitate to look Mycroft in the eyes and Mycroft, noticing, smiled a crocodile smile.

"So you're big brother," Jim said jovially, "pleasure to meet you!"

"Pleased to meet you too, I assure you." Mycroft said smoothly, "I look forward to learning more about you before the wedding."

Jim smiled and forced himself to make sure it reached his eyes, deliberately crinkling them despite the very real urge to slink away from those pale, critical eyes; and he'd thought Sherlock would be a problem! Who would've thought the man had an older brother, and one as sharp if not sharper than the former? Evidently, he'd have to update his current information and sincerely work on his priorities.

❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~

Stolen Glimpses

Two weeks after introducing Jim to xyr friends and family, Tex walked up to police caution tape surrounding a flat on the first floor of a multi story complex in Covent Garden before approaching the officer on site responsible for maintaining the integrity of the crime scene. Xe relaxed as she noticed it was Officer Bullock, one of the more serious if not friendly members of the force.

"Howdy Officer Bullock." She greeted.

"Hello detective Sonata," he replied kindly, "nobody's been in or out save CSU, Dr. Hooper, and the blood splatter analyst, all of whom are currently still on site."

"Thank you," she drawled, "please tell me what you got."

"Male victim, name is Patrick Dunn. As I said, Dr. Hooper is already inside and will give you everything else you need to know on the matter- important to know now is that he died approximately around midnight last night." He paused to flip to the next page of his tiny notebook, "Moving on, he apparently lives alone, but has a girlfriend according to several neighbors. We've already contacted her workplace and she's being brought in for questioning as we speak. Here's her name and contact information." He said before handing a scrap piece of paper with crisp, clear handwriting.

Tex pocketed it after carefully memorizing the woman's name. "Thank you. Any eyewitness testimonies? Anybody hear anything?"

"So far, the neighbors on both sides say they heard shouting, which is apparently typical behavior for Mr. Dunn and his girlfriend, but have admitted they didn't actually see anyone go in or out." He replied, "Regardless, Officer Montgomery has already sent ahead for a warrant to obtain the entryway and hallway CCTV cameras so the I.T. guys back at base can relay what they find there."

"Nice work Officer Bullock, thank you. I'm going to go on ahead now and if I have any more questions, I'll ring you."

Officer Bullock nodded and marked xyr entrance down into his logs in the same neat, clear handwriting and without another glance back, Tex entered the crime scene, careful to keep xyr mind blank as she took in the flat with slow, searching glances.

There, near the TV across the room was the victim lying at an awkward angle on top of a broken wooden coffee table. Molly glanced up at xem where they stood in a low crouch over Mr. Dunn and smiled tightly at xem once they locked eyes.

"Dr. Hooper," Tex greeted softly, always one to remain professional when on a case, "I would, in almost any other circumstance, say it's good to see you."

Molly's tight smile morphed into a more relaxed one. "Likewise, Detective Sonata. Would you like me to tell you about Mr. Dunn now, or wait till you've swept the room?"

Tex eyed the blood splatter analyst as he took several photos of the wall adjacent to them. The splatter was high, about the same height as what xe could gather Mr. Dunn to be by just looking at him but the angling of it and the sheer concentration near the bottom of the splatter intrigued xem. "Thank you for asking, Doctor." She said, remembering Molly had asked xem a question. Tex tore xyr gaze away from the splatter and fixed her attention to Molly. "I'd appreciate it if you told me now."

Molly nodded. "Our victim here is Patrick Dunn. He's 35, in generally great health, and, by the look of what's left of his shirt, is sporting a slash across his neck here and roughly ten or so stab wounds- I'll have to get him back to the morgue to know for sure."

Tex nodded slowly. "Pissed someone off."

Molly grimaced and stared at Mr. Dunn's face. "He's around our age; I always hate it when they die young like this."

Tex couldn't help but silently agree and gently clasped their shoulder. "Call me after you gather the rest of your findings. I'll bring you a raspberry mocha and we can talk about it tonight if you want."

Molly knew xe didn't mean Patrick Dunn when xe said "it" but instead, their mental health. She smiled softly at xem and nodded.

"Detective Sonata?" Officer Bullock called from the entrance, "You've a visitor."

"Hey Texie!" Jim popped his head in through the doorway but thankful didn't try to enter the premises- not like Officer Bullock would let him anyway. "Can you spare a moment, Sweetheart?"

Tex straightened up quickly to turn and blink at Jim before rushing over to usher him outside and behind the police caution tape- how he even managed to sneak past said tape was a mystery in and of itself but xe really only had one question on xyr mind. Before xe could ask it though, Jim began.

Jim whistled slowly. "Saw the body- it would take a great force to destroy a wooden table like that. Have you looked at the blood splatter already?"

"I haven't yet." Tex said automatically.

"Sure your analyst will tell you but your killer is probably left handed." Jim offered.

Tex blinked slowly at him. He'd seen the body, seen the blood, but he didn't seem phased whatsoever by it- if anything he seemed nonchalant if not a bit curious.

"What?" He asked.

Xe thought about pointing out his lack of emotional response to seeing a brutalized corpse but decided that was a conversation for another time. "What're you doing here?" Xe asked. She'd meant to sound friendly but it only came out as confused.

Jim held up a brown paper bag with a smile. "Making sure my fianceé doesn't starve or freeze to death before our wedding day."

Tex couldn't help but grin. "So what I'm hearing is after our wedding day, you'll throw me out to the wolves."

'Honey I'm the leader of the pack' he thought bemusedly before chiming, "Absolutely not. Isn't one of the vows to love and to cherish till death do us part?"

Tex flushed as Sargeant Donovan made a flustered noise on xyr behalf. Great. Xe just loved eavesdroppers. Wahoo. "Uh. Now that you've mentioned it I'm thinking I'd like to change the vows a little- 'till death do us part' clashes against my faith."

He squinted at xem. "I didn't realize you were religious."

She spared him a searching look as she took the bag of food and thermos. "Is that going to be a problem?" Xe asked, careful to keep xyr tone neutral.

He thought about asking if xe planned on converting him but felt it was a rude thing to ask given he already knew xem well enough to never believe it would be on her agenda.

"No." He leaned forward and surprised her with a kiss on xyr temple just to drive it home to xem before adding, "Heads up though, I'm atheist."

Tex shrugged. "Fair enough. I'd love to hear your views sometime soon."

Pleased to hear genuine curiosity in xyr voice he easily replied, "And I, yours."

"I'm sorry," Sergeant Donovan cut in unapologetically, "are you saying you didn't know that about each other already before getting engaged?"

Jim offered her a sweet smile. It had Tex nearly choking down laughter, it was so obviously fake and when he spoke xe deliberately had to turn xyr head away to hide her smile.

"I, for one, thoroughly love and enjoy the process of discovery." Jim declared boldly, "Perhaps it's the scientist in me."

Donovan shot him an unimpressed look but didn't comment further and even drew away.

Once she was out of earshot, Jim turned to Tex and asked, "So, what vows were you thinking of instead?"

Tex flushed. "Well, um. Not entirely sure but instead of that 'till death do us part' bit I'd much prefer something like 'from henceforth into eternity' if- uh, if that's alright with you?"

"Yes of course," Jim answered smoothly before xyr words really registered in his brain. He fixed xem with a gentle, pensive look for a moment, his ears ringing just a little before softly asking, "You would have me for eternity?"

Nevermind he was xyr fiancé, the urge to escape his sight nearly overwhelmed xem but still she stood there, red faced. "If. If you would have me," she stammered, "I mean. If you actually believed in an afterlife, but you don't, so-"

"I would have you if I ended up being wrong about it all. It would make it nice, anyway, if I was." Jim answered, surprising them both.

Tex bit xyr lip and nodded. "Oh. Okay. Um-"

"Sonata!" A voice called out from behind them, making Tex jump, "I need you over here, I found something."

No doubt a clue- it sounded like the blood splatter analyst. Tex nodded before glancing up at him under xyr lashes. "Thank you."

He knew, instinctively, that xe wasn't just talking about the food. "See you later?"

"Absolutely." She shifted in place for a second, clearly debating over something, before taking his hand. She gently squeezed it, eyes still upturned to gaze at him softly, and raised it to xyr lips, giving his gloved knuckles a kiss before dropping it and left without another word.

Jim laughed softly with delight as he realized it was the first real moment she'd initiated affection and as he watched her leave, he found himself looking forward to xem feeling brave again. After a cursory glance around the place, he left in turn to go warm up once again back at base with his thumb brushing over where she'd kissed him.

❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~

Revelations

Tex stared at the document in xyr hands and reread it three times, slowly, out-loud just to make extra sure xe was reading everything correctly. She then picked up the phone and called Jim.

"Hey you!" he greeted cheerfully, "I was just thinking about you. What's up?"

"Hey," xe said dazedly, "um. So, I got the prenup in the mail today."

"Oh! Goodie! Do you approve?"

"What do you mean you own 4 flats?" Tex blurted, "And what do you mean in the case of divorce, I keep two of them for resale or whatever? Also, are you sure about the alimony amount because it's- I mean, you don't have to–" Tex squeezed xyr eyes shut and recounted the many zeros in xyr head she'd seen when xe had gotten to that section, "I don't- I know I don't make as much but really, this is crazy-"

"Take a breath."

Tex inhaled deeply and let it out and a whoosh.

"Can I come over?" Jim asked. "We could talk more about it then."

Tex nodded before remembering he couldn't see xem. "I— of course you can; okay. Um. Have you eaten yet?"

"No, not yet."

Tex stood up and wandered to the kitchen. "Ever have Mexican?"

Jim licked his lips. "Nope, but I'm looking forward to it. I'll be there in a half hour if you want to wait for me to come help."

Tex smiled. "Alright; I'll see you then; have a safe trip."

The moment he stepped into xyr flat, the smell of coriander, tomato, and onion wrapped around his senses like a warm blanket. He breathed in deeply as he stepped in and thought about a future where this happened regularly.

"I thought I told you I'd help you if you waited." He whined softly as xe greeted him at the door.

"You did," she confirmed, "but I figured you could help me cook next time."

Next time. He liked the sound of that. "Alright," he said, "what're we having exactly?"

"Carne con papas y arroz," she answered, xyr accent spiced unlike the usual sweet drawl he was used to.

"Cor." He said. Once they sat down at the table with their plates, he caught xyr eye. "Tell me something else in Spanish?"

Xe spared him a fond smile. "Eres loco."

He grinned. "Loco. That means 'crazy', right?"

Xe smiled. "Mhmm. I see you don't deny it, which is great because that prenup is something else."

Jim cocked his head. "How so?"

She shot him an incredulous look. "I get to keep everything I had coming into the marriage and you give me half your assets plus alimony? Why?"

Jim shrugged, "I wanted to assure you I wasn't trying to marry you for your money."

Tex snorted and glanced around xyr modest flat. "Right. Says the guy with four upscale flats."

"To be fair, I'd be giving you the two I spend the least amount of time in." Jim answered blithely.

Tex shook xyr head. "I don't want two flats. I don't want your money. I don't even know your middle name if you even have one, or your birthday, or-"

"It's Ciarán," Jim interjected, "and my birthday is March 27th. What about you?"

Tex speared a potato wedge. "Nicole, August 24th."

"You asked me my favorite color once; I never asked you yours. What is it?"

"Green."

Jim laughed, "A red and green wedding; maybe we should have it in December, then, unless you'd like a different set of colors?"

Tex set her fork down, suddenly not hungry as xe contemplated the future. "If we're having a December wedding, how about white and gold instead?"

His eyes flashed. "Baroque colors. I like it."

"Were you ever married before?" Tex blurted.

He shook his head. "You?"

"No. Actually, I've only ever been to one wedding in my entire life." She paused and stared down at xyr plate, "I never thought I'd have one of my own."

He assessed xem with appraisal. "That makes two of us." He took a bite of xyr homemade rice and hummed appreciatively before setting his spoon down. "Rice has no right being that delicious. What did you do to it to make it taste like that?"

Now back in more comfortable waters, xe smiled and picked up xyr own spoon to scoop up some rice. "I made a salsa first and then poured it over the rice so the flavor and color would bake into the grains."

He grinned. "I love being lucky. I mean, of course I fell for a fantastic cook."

After dinner, they decided to sit down to watch a movie. At some point, one of the characters on screen began to cry.

"She's doing an awful job faking it." Jim said after a minute of watching, his tone dripping with obvious disapproval.

Tex blinked, tore xyr gaze away from the movie playing on screen, and furrowed her brows at him. "You think so?"

Jim scoffed, "I know so."

Tex considered his antisocial personality disorder, something he'd explained once during one of their many phone calls, and how that might alter his perception of other people's expressions of emotion before asking, "Is this because you don't feel strongly and thus can sense when others don't either?"

It didn't sound accusatory, just curious, so Jim didn't bristle. "It's tied to that."

"How?"

"She's not using the technique." He said, thinking that explained everything. One look at Tex's face told him he was wrong. He turned to face her and raised his brows, "So the technique involves manufacturing the different physiological phenomenons in your body that usually corresponds with crying- little gasps, hiccups, almost hyperventilating- this in turn helps trigger the response to cry." He spared the actress a disapproving look, "As you can see, she's not doing any of that."

Tex didn't see because she was too busy focusing on Jim. "Can you do it then?" She asked with just a hint of eagerness, "Cry on command?"

"You just want to see me cry." Jim teased.

"On the contrary, I don't ever want to see you cry," Tex replied sincerely, "but I'm dying to know if you can do it or not. If you can't then just say so-"

Jim cleared his throat, cleared his mind of xyr words if only for a moment- he had a point to make, after all. He turned to her with yet another disapproving look, this one reading 'of course I can, what do you take me for?' loud and clear. He scooted closer and cleared his mind, not focusing on any sort of sad thought because it wouldn't actually do anything for him and instead aimed his attention to controlling his breathing.

Tex watched, dark eyes wide and nearly unblinking as he began to take desperate, sharp and stuttery breaths, his eyes steadily focused on her even as his lips contorted into painful grimaces. Even though she knew he was doing this on purpose, it still triggered within xem a desire to comfort him but she refrained, more interested in seeing this thing through. After only two minutes xe saw it, clear as day, his eyes turning red rimmed, becoming glassy, before several tears slipped down his cheek.

He stopped his pitiful hiccuping after a second and grinned smugly. "As if it's hard."

"Wow…" she breathed. She even clapped her hands for him, earning a sunny smile.

"Impressive, right?"

It was more than impressive. It was even attractive. Who could fake cry like that? Sherlock probably, but xe had never seen him do it. Even if Sherlock could, there was something fascinating about watching Jim control himself so thoroughly- that level of commitment and self-discipline thrilled xem in a way she hadn't expected and it took all xyr willpower not to entertain the train of thoughts it had manifested despite her very real desire to hop on.

"Tell me how impressive it is." He demanded playfully. "On a scale of one to ten, one being awful and ten being phenomenal."

"It's a–" she paused as a memory suddenly struck her and she began to fidget with her hands. "Wait. Does… does this mean that when I told you about my fa-"

"Yes, I used the technique." Jim finished hurriedly, his tone muted as he recognized where she was going with this. He watched xem carefully to look out for any signs of discomfort or anger but xe only scooted closer until their knees brushed. He flicked his eyes down to look at them before looking up at her from under his lashes. "You're not angry?"

"No."

He couldn't help it. "Why? I'd felt nothing at the time." Well. That wasn't completely true. He'd felt uncomfortable seeing xem like that; he'd wanted to help. "Are you still not angry?"

"Still not angry." Tex confirmed gently.

He pursed his lips. "Why?"

Tex eyed the fresh tears still clinging to his cheek and side of his face with twitchy fingers. "Because you didn't have to put on a show for me-"

"I did," Jim interjected bitterly, "I always do-"

"I mean in retrospect, I realize you put in effort to help comfort me even though you didn't feel a basic compulsion to." Tex rushed, "And now that I know, I hope you know, Jim, that in the future whenever or if ever you show compassion for me again- regardless of whether or not it's manufactured- it'll mean something to me." She paused to look him in the eyes, "I'll always be grateful and I'll always try to make sure you know that, I promise."

Jim stared at her and felt another tear escaping. He didn't think he was still making those but alas he felt it spill out without his permission. Something about the way she said 'in the future', as if she was planning on keeping him with xem even then, felt like a ray of sun briefly filtering through thick, dense clouds. The warmth was there and gone in a flash but he'd felt it, or believed he had felt it- or, even more realistic… maybe he'd simply wanted to feel it. That had to count for something, didn't it?

"Oh." He cleared his throat, "Okay."

"May I wipe those away for you?" Tex asked gently.

He nodded.

She leaned forward into his space and gently brushed away his tears with her thumb and as they locked eyes once more, Jim swayed forward to kiss her. It would've been a fantastic first kiss in his opinion if xe hadn't blocked him with her other hand.

He froze, lips pressed against xyr curled palm, and said nothing as she stared at him in shock. After a moment xe finally pulled her hand away and asked, "Why'd you try to kiss me?"

He didn't feel embarrassed so he didn't try to deflect, especially since xe didn't try to put any distance between themselves. "I wanted to."

She blushed and for a moment her eyes fluttered down to his lips. He leaned in again for a second attempt but xe stopped him again, hand cradling his face. Despite his annoyance at the second rejection, he leaned into xyr touch, finding it cool and pleasant.

"Is wanting to not enough anymore?" He asked playfully. "Am I not your fiancé?"

She settled him with a wry look and gently bopped his nose. "It's not polite to kiss someone without first asking, fiancé or no."

"They don't do it in the movies." He said.

Yeah, xe could gripe about the entertainment industry's lax views on consent but they were having a moment here and besides, xe could always bring it up later. "You think we're in a movie right now?" She asked curiously, if not a little teasingly.

"I think it would feel like one if you kissed me." He answered in a silky purr.

Tex swallowed. "Why do you want to kiss me, though?"

"I told you-"

"I—" Tex sighed, "I need a reason as to why. For my own sake. I'm sorry I'm being selfish, but-"

"I like when you're selfish." Jim blurted. "I like when you're sassy and-"

"And I like when you're honest." Tex replied.

Neither of them spoke for a moment. They simply looked at each other. Tex saw a talented, hard working man, his efforts unappreciated; Jim saw an audience of one who, if he let her, could probably fill the entire theatre in his mind with xyr praise alone. He really liked the idea of quality over quantity, especially in his line of work.

Jim cleared his throat softly. "That's… exactly why… I want to kiss you," he said slowly. To Tex, it sounded like they were being wrenched from him, each and every syllable, and all xe could wonder was why it was so difficult for him to say it.

"You want to be honest?" She guessed softly. "You're tired of putting on a show?"

He worked his jaw. "Just with you." He paused, "Although I— no, I'll still perform for you. You said you'd clap for me-"

"I will." Tex promised, "Each and every time if it's for my sake but again, I also want you to be honest, without the smoke and mirrors. I-" again, she felt selfish but xe lowered her voice and said it anyway because he apparently liked it when she was, "If I'm going to marry you then I want you to tell me things you don't tell anyone else. I want to see this side of you that isn't fake. I want you to know I'm looking right at you-"

Jim cleared his throat. "Texie, please-"

"-and that I'm not looking away." Tex took a deep breath and swallowed hard as he covered her hand against his cheek with his own.

"Please," He said again, because she always loved it when he said 'please'. He searched xyr eyes and only found himself. "Let me kiss you."

"You don't want to wait till we're at the altar?" Xe teased softly. "We've come this far."

Jim laughed, "No. No I really don't."

Tex almost gave in. Almost. She stroked his quickly drying cheek with her thumb. He was so beautiful like this without the quips, without the joking. Xyr heart hurt just looking at him- he'd never love xem like the world would expect him to but she believed, or at least genuinely wanted to believe, that it wouldn't matter- that he'd still treat xem the way xe knew in her heart that she deserved to be treated. Couldn't just wanting be enough?

Even now as xe teeter-tottered on the edge of kissing him, just an inch away, she felt her walls still standing, still formidable and barricading him from xem. Xe only hoped he didn't sense them, or if he did, that he understood the emotional threat he was to her and that he respected them. Maybe… maybe one day, if he proved himself, xe would give him a key to bypass them.

Only time would tell. They hadn't picked an exact wedding date yet, after all.

"Jim," she said softly, "you're not asking me. You're requesting. Please try again- I want to say 'yes' but can't if you don't ask me properly."

Jim thought about his words and hers and resigned himself to the knowledge that she'd been right. He rested his hand on xyr thigh just above xyr knee and looked xem in the eyes. "May I kiss you? Please?"

"Yes, I-" she laughed breathlessly, "yes you ma-"

He didn't let xem finish xyr sentence before he'd swooped in and pressed his lips against hers and leaned in further as xe hummed softly into his mouth, xyr hands sliding up and into his hair. Jim was right of course, like usual- it was a fantastic first kiss and so was the second, as well as the third, fourth, and fifth….

Jim stopped paying attention to how many they'd exchanged after that, only knowing it wasn't enough and held on to the hopeful feeling burning in his chest saying that it never would be enough, that she'd pull him in like this over and over again as time drew on, her the earnest tides rushing into the expansive shoreline of his mind. For now though, he simply let himself get lost in her hands and lips, ears still ringing from xyr applause.

❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦

Steady As You Go

Tex was going to die and there was nothing xe could do about it. What started off as a simple jog through the park with Jim turned into a fight for xyr life as a strange man confronted xem while Jim was nowhere in sight, having headed back to visit the restroom. Instead of doing the smart thing and going back with him to wait outside, xe had opted to wait where xe was for him to come back. Not a minute after Jim had disappeared, a man came up the path from behind and without warning attacked xem, telling xem it was nothing personal, that it was simply business– something to do with Sherlock apparently although for what, Tex obviously had no idea.

This wasn't the first time the consulting detective brought danger into her life, xyr close relationship with him making her (and John) targets for vengeful criminals but by all accounts as he caught xem off guard and knocked her to the ground, it looked like it very well would be xyr last. Xe fought him valiantly and tried to scream but he was quicker, grabbing xyr throat to silence xem as he pulled out a syringe from his pocket, no doubt laced with a sedative to knock her out so he could relocate xem quietly to make demands at Sherlock.

She thought of xyr parents, xyr friends, of the family she had made since moving into 221C before finally letting herself think of Jim who was so close yet too far away. Even though this was all out of xyr control, she still couldn't help but feel like xe was letting him down but even the fear of disappointing him could do nothing to help xem as xe started to black out, that needle drawing too close for comfort. Just as she felt herself teetering on the edge of unconsciousness, the man flew off of xem, forcibly tackled from his kneeling and completely caught off guard if his yelp was anything to go by.

Tex gasped lungfuls of air as xe struggled to sit up and see who'd come and saved xem only to begin trembling as xe watched none other than Jim, back from the restroom, wrestle the man on the ground, his eyes black and teeth bared. He didn't speak, didn't say a word, just glared at the man as he managed to pin him down and start wailing on him with unrelenting swings of his white knuckled fists. Just as Tex found the syringe and xyr voice, Jim picked up the man's head in both hands and, sensing almost too late what he was about to do, Tex shrieked, "Stop!"

Jim stopped, but only because he'd never thought she was capable of raising her voice given the fact she'd, well, just been strangled and for the moment, was simply too stunned by hearing it, grateful to hear it. He turned his cold gaze to xem, immediately fixated on the bruising around her throat and as he waited for xem to speak again he realized from her wide eyes that she didn't think xe had been capable either. Even if she hadn't been strangled, he couldn't help but think 'so why now?' telling him to stop wasn't worth it, surely. He could feel the man's pulse just under his ring finger, fluttering madly against it like a bird trapped in a cage and once more felt the desire to snap his neck.

"Look at me please," Tex ordered urgently, xyr voice hoarse but firm, "up into my eyes."

Jim reluctantly obeyed, his grip steady. They didn't say anything to each other for a moment.

"I'm alive." Xe said. She reached out to him with an open hand. "Come feel me. See for yourself. I'm okay-"

"You're not okay!" he countered harshly, nails digging into the man's skin. The man whimpered but wisely didn't try to say anything, which was all well and good because Jim doubted there was anything he could say that wouldn't make him want to immediately snuff him out.

"No," Tex agreed, "but I will be. Let him go. Let him face justice properly."

Jim glared at her and through clenched teeth hissed, "He tried to kill you." The 'he doesn't deserve to live' ricocheted clearly in the silence that followed and echoed loud and clear in Tex's mind.

Xe thought about pointing out that no, really, he wasn't, he was just trying to subdue xem so he could use xem as leverage later but decided that wouldn't really make things any better. Determined, Tex stood up on shaky legs and slowly walked over to him.

"But he didn't," Tex countered, "because you saved me." Xe paused as she stood next to him to give him a pained, hopeful look and allowed xyr relief to color her words as she continued to look him in the eyes and added tiredly, "I love you but I don't want to have to help you hide a body today. Please… Let's go home."

Something shifted in his eyes when she had said 'Let's go home' and it wasn't just a cloud overhead drifting away from the sun. That violent, quiet thing that lived in his dark eyes was listening to her. Xe reached out, cupped the back of his neck, and petted the fine, short hairs there, her fingers steady and sure as xe tried to soothe it, that thing that craved bloodshed, soothe him.

Jim dropped the man's head. Before the man could even think of getting up, Jim kicked him viciously in the stomach and handed Tex her (thankfully undamaged) phone off the ground.

"Call the police." He said, "I'll make sure he doesn't go anywhere- if he tries to, he'll get another kick." He then crossed his arms and glared down at the writhing would-be kidnapper and added pleasantly with a grin, "Got that, peasant? Try to get up and I'll kick your fucking teeth in."

The man groaned and nodded, again wisely saying nothing. They waited only five minutes before Lestrade and a couple officers arrived, the former looking like a rolling stormcloud as he marched up to them and ordered his men bend down and haul the assailant up onto his feet, his expression darkening even further as Tex explained xyr theory and pointed out the untouched syringe for CSU to collect. Right behind Lestrade was Sherlock and John, both of whom exchanged looks as Sherlock practically scooped Tex up in his arms and carried xem away for John to properly examine xyr overall health. Jim stuck to her side and let John fuss over the minor bruising and cuts he'd received from fighting, quiet if not contemplating what had just happened and, more importantly, what had almost happened.

He hadn't been thinking when he'd launched himself at Tex's assailant. He simply saw her hurt and in danger and reacted. He stared at his hands as he flexed them, intrigued by the memory of his anger coursing through him without restraint. Jim had only ever killed one other person but it hadn't been hands-on, not like this; he'd planned it all out first, had used a bioweapon, had been careful, which is why he was never caught but today…

He'd lost control. He'd been reckless, letting xem see this side of him, panicked and angry, and wondered numbly if it changed anything.

Maybe it would change everything.

He waited for xem to tell Lestrade about his murder attempt when he figured she couldn't see him right away but xe didn't. He waited for xem to tell Sherlock or John on the way home, feigning sleep, but still, she didn't. So he continued to wait, fidgeting quietly until they were alone in xyr flat, John and Sherlock upstairs. Just as he shut the door behind them, he cleared his throat and asked, "Do you still want to marry me?"

Tex, who'd been in the middle of taking off xyr shoes with her back to him, wobbled unsteadily before propping xemself against the wall and turned around in time to watch him recoil back from reaching out to catch xem lest xe fell. She shot him a confused look. "Pardon?"

Jim swallowed. His shoes were still on his feet, ready to run, but oh, where would he go? "I asked if you still want to marry me."

She stared at him. "Yes." He thought he could hear xem say 'of course' in the silence that followed.

"Why?" It was out before he could think to keep it to himself and, annoyed with himself if not a bit embarrassed and thoroughly relieved, he looked away to focus on untying his shoes now that he no longer apparently needed them.

"Because you listened to me." Xe answered gently, "You could've ignored me and done what you wanted but you didn't- you stopped when I asked you too. Jim, look at me."

He looked up at her from under his lashes.

I'm grateful to you." She paused, reached out, and cupped his jaw, "This is me applauding."

He fumbled with his laces for a moment as xe pulled away and refocused his attention back to his shoes. He stood up slowly when he was done and slipped out of them but didn't move towards xem, his mind still reeling. "You still want to marry me."

"I still want to marry you." Tex pulled him towards xem with her index fingers hooked through his belt loops and stood up on xyr tiptoes to wrap her arms around his neck as she offered a soft smile. Jim grinned and Tex's heart throbbed at the sight of it before melting completely as he wrapped his arms around xem and hugged her gently.

He closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of xyr honey conditioner, a scent that smelled like something he could call home. "You said you love me."

As expected, Tex froze but thankfully, xe didn't try to pull away. Instead, she tightened xyr grip. "How can I not love you?" Xe asked quietly. "You saved my life."

"I almost ended someone else's." He paused, waiting for xem to pull away but xe merely shuddered. "Texie, I wanted to kill that man-"

"But you didn't." Xyr voice was so small yet it pierced the silence between them like a bullet.

"No. No I didn't." He sighed, "But I wanted to."

"I know." She whispered. "And since we're being honest, I'll say it– part of me also wanted you to."

He pressed his nose against her hair and inhaled deeply before letting it out in a long, slow breath. "Do you regret asking me?"

Xe shuddered. "No." A pause. "Do you?"

"Regret listening to you when you asked me to spare him?"

She held him tighter. "Yes."

"No." He paused and, maybe because he liked the wondrous sound of his own voice when he said it, said, "You love me."

"I don't expect you to love me back the same." Xe whispered.

He pulled her away from him to tilt xyr chin up with a finger but even then, xe didn't look at him but instead at the wall. "Look at me."

She caved and looked up into his eyes. He held xyr gaze and said, "I will love you in a way that matters- that will make you want to stay. Is that enough?"

Tex didn't hesitate. "Yes."

Jim swallowed. "You'll marry me?"

She leaned in and kissed him on the corner of his mouth, "Yes." Before she could turn away, he cupped xyr chin and pulled xem back in for a proper kiss.

"You should rest." He said as he pulled away, just enough to rest his forehead against hers.

"We both should rest." Xe corrected softly. She looked up into his eyes to see he was gazing at xem already and felt her heart flutter in xyr chest. "Any chance I can convince you to stay here with me for the night?"

Jim laughed breathlessly. "I was hoping you'd ask."

"I'm not signing that prenup." Tex said quietly.

It had been at least two months since the subject had last been brought up- he had forgotten all about it. Jim furrowed his brows. "No?"

"No." Xe paused and added softly, "And… I don't want you sleeping on the sofa tonight, either." Xe watched his dark eyes flash with something molten before quickly blurting, "And I don't want to do anything; not tonight. Okay? Just sleeping." The last thing xe wanted was to wake up from a nightmare alone.

He resigned himself to adhering to xyr terms, her exact wording not going unnoticed or unappreciated. He still didn't know xyr name, after all, and he wanted to before they ever took that step. Jim hugged xem. "Alright. Let me return home real quick with some clothes and whatnot and I'll stay with you."

They had dinner when he returned and afterwards, he followed xem to xyr room. It was easy. Maybe too easy, to slip under the covers and exist together after they'd brushed their teeth and changed into their PJs. Sure enough, Jim laid on his right as Tex laid on her left and for a moment, they faced each other in the dark, neither speaking.

A beat passed. "Can I hold you?" Jim asked softly, all too aware of the ringing silence.

"Okay." Xe paused, "But be warned, I'm not used to it and will probably push you away at some point."

As long as she was still there beside him when he woke up, he couldn't care less. He couldn't help but realize after they'd been married a while that she would be used to it.

"Alright." He said.

They converged slowly, both inching forward until they shared a pillow, their legs intertwined as Jim held Tex to his chest. He closed his eyes and rubbed her back and as he did, his mind, usually quite cluttered and loud, gradually cleared of everything that didn't include xem to some degree, each and every thought soothing and warming his chest where her soft breath lingered.

Yes. He could get used to this.

"Is this alright?" He asked.

She couldn't speak for a moment, too dazed over the reality of the situation but when xe did, xyr voice didn't waver. "Yes."

Jim kissed xyr forehead. "Good night."

Tex closed xyr eyes. "G'night."

❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~

The Morning After the Storm

Tex woke up to an empty bed but the smell of bacon and, after a quick trip to the bathroom to fix xemself up, walked to the kitchen to lean against the doorway and watch Jim pour beaten egg yolk into a frying pan. He shouldn't have fit- he should've looked foreign, standing there in the clothes he'd brought over, barefoot, his dark hair more wild than she'd ever seen it but good God, he did and when he turned to xem and smiled, sunlight streaming down and painting the side of his face gold, xe let herself believe if not for a moment that yes, she could have that– could have him.

"You're up early." She commented.

"Ach, yes- thought I'd treat you." He explained cheerfully before turning his attention back to the skillet. "Sleep well?"

Too well; whether it was the adrenaline crash of what had happened to xem or just the way she felt safe with him, Tex had indeed fallen asleep without much fuss.

She tiptoed over and wrapped an arm around his back to lean against his free arm and sighed softly. "Thank you for this, and yes, I did." She replied, eyes trained on the eggs, "What about you?"

Jim grinned and nodded. "You know, I think I should stay over more often, really. Took me too long to figure out where you keep your pans."

"Maybe you should."

Jim giggled, pleased with himself, pleased with xem.

"You're very chipper for 7 a.m." Tex observed wryly before yawning softly.

Jim almost shrugged but at the last minute remembered she was leaning on him. "I've always been an early riser."

Tex hummed. "And you said you got lucky finding me." Xe said before kissing his arm and moving away to slump into the chair closest to him at the kitchen table.

Jim grinned down at the skillet before deftly reaching over and turning on the back burner underneath the kettle, briefly picking it up to check if it was full or not. Once he determined it was, he gently set it back down and asked over his shoulder, "Where do you keep your tea?"

"Cupboard to your left, above those ceramic blue and yellow containers- they have sugar in them, by the way; blue for white, yellow for brown. Honey is in the cupboard with the tea."

He waited until he was finished cooking the eggs, turned the heat off, set the skillet aside, and covered it before opening the cupboard.

"And what would you like?" Jim asked as he eyed the vast assortment of teas ranging from black to green with a good deal of herbal thrown in there.

"Earl Grey, please."

Jim grabbed an apple and cinnamon spice tea bag for himself before shutting the cupboard. "Dare I guess your mugs are in the cupboard on the other side of your tea stash?"

Tex grinned. "Dare away and discover for yourself."

Jim laughed and did just that, pleased with himself for being correct. He plugged in the toaster and slipped four slices of bread into it before grabbing two random mugs and set the bags inside.

Tex quietly got up and joined him at the counter to fix xyr tea as he fixed his and once the toast was done, they made plates of scrambled eggs and toast buttered and slathered with strawberry on Jim's and marmalade on Tex's before shuffling back over to the table to sit down and eat. The moment they both tucked in to their plates, he casually reached out with his foot and rubbed it against Tex's ankle, making them startle and laugh. Not a second later, xe returned the gesture, their feet tangled up together under the table as they quietly enjoyed their simple breakfast.

Tex watched as the morning sun danced and fluttered playfully across the side of Jim's face, sporadically bleaching it a twinkling starlight white and felt a wish claw at the back of her throat until xe couldn't hold it back anymore.

"I want this." Tex blurted into the serene quiet.

Jim lowered his mug to shoot her confused look, thin eyebrow raised, a smile tugging at the corner of his pink lips. "Pardon?" He asked.

"I… this." Tex cleared xyr throat softly and gently brushed xyr foot against his ankle as she looked him in the eyes. "This. You, me, us, here- well, together in the mornings. You, initiating footsies under the table, sometimes cooking breakfast for us with frankly atrociously attractive, uncombed hair when I can't drag myself out to do it."

Jim swept his gaze over xem and smiled to himself as he admired the warm sun melting like butter against the croissant brown of her skin, how it haloed in xyr dark, equally atrociously attractive but combed wavy hair. He met xyr gaze and reached out a hand. Xe took it readily.

He squeezed xyr hand gently and, without looking away, said, "You believe me now, don't you?"

Tex swallowed down the urge to try and pretend like xe didn't know what he was talking about, like she hadn't once doubted him. Instead, xe intertwined their fingers and met his gaze unflinchingly. "I do."

Warmth and excitement crackled in Jim's chest, her sincere confession of "I do" echoing softly in his mind like wedding bells that couldn't ring fast enough, loud enough.

"From henceforth into eternity?" He asked playfully.

"Yes sir." Tex replied warmly. Xe smiled, a brilliant thing, and for a second Jim believed in angels as xe added, "And then some. I think I ought to tell you my name now."

"Oh?" He grinned, "We're doing that now? Right. You first."

They exchanged their true names quietly in the peaceful morning as the icebox hummed softly, as the first signs of morning traffic revved and purred outside, two willful and adoring confessions each echoed by the other with the same reverence of an uttered prayer.

He squeezed xyr fingers and let go. "Eat up," he said gently.

Silence settled around them once again, warm and light, their feet still very much busy saying what they themselves didn't feel they needed to say.

❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~•~❦~

Together, Into A New Future

One Year Later

Jim stared at the unending grecian horizon as he dug his toes in the sand and squeezed Tex's hand. Underneath him, he could feel the warm sand sink from his weight, aided by the constant waves lapping at their feet.

"I'm actually a little afraid of the ocean." He blurted. He hadn't told anyone that before; it was a silly thing to be afraid of in his mind- he didn't live near it, didn't work on the water, so why be so anxious?

Tex squeezed his hand back. "We don't have to go in. We can stay just like this."

Jim glanced over at xem with a doubtful look but she only smiled at him.

"I mean it." She said, "I don't mind."

"You're dressed to go in." He countered. They both were.

"It wouldn't be fun without you," Tex explained.

"You could leave me here on the shore," Jim suggested but even as he said it, he felt his heart sink at the idea. "I promise I won't wander off."

Tex dropped his hand and for a split second, it felt like she'd dropped his heart too but then xe wrapped xyr arm around his torso and leaned her head against his arm. "I've spent plenty of time in the ocean over the years," she said, "I'm fine not going in if it means you can't come with me."

"But you enjoy it-"

Tex took his left hand and kissed his wedding ring, a stirling silver claddagh ring with a black opal heart stone to compliment Tex's own, hers sporting a white opal. "If we can't both enjoy it, then I'm not really interested. We can do something else instead." Xe paused, "We could look for sea glass or make a sandcastle- go find a tide pool. We don't have to go in."

Jim worked his jaw. "If… If we stay in the shallows, and if you don't let go of my hand, then I think I'd be alright."

"I promised I would never let go when we exchanged vows," Tex assured him gently. "I don't plan to break it now." Xe paused and offered a playful smile, "If it helps, just know the tides can't wash us away from the shoreline; they're not strong enough."

"Not strong enough," Jim echoed thoughtfully as he contemplated the metaphorical tides that had pushed him and Tex together. They had been insistent and inviting- letting himself get swept up in them, swept up in xem, had been the easiest thing in the world. An old song, one his Ma used to sing to him as a wain, popped into his head just then and he closed his eyes briefly to visualize the lyrics that had snuck up on him as they unfurled through his mind.

Like a river flows gently to the sea, some things are meant to be….

Jim squeezed xyr hand, opened his eyes, and gazed at Tex with a dazed, content smile.

"So what do you say?" Xe asked sweetly.

He nodded, lifted xyr hand, kissed her matching wedding ring, and turned to face the warm, sparkling sea. He smiled, content with himself, in not knowing what life had in store for him because he had Tex to find out alongside him.

"Lead the way."

#tex writes #okay to rb ♡#king of my heart | moriarty #i love my egghead bröther | sherlock #soldier boy | watson #queen of the dead | molly #selfship writing #s/i x f/o #s/i x canon #oc x canon #fanfic #im just so zazzed and proud of myself for FINALLY writing this all out 😭!!!!!#AND OUGH WE'RE ENGAGED BRBRBR #selfshipping community #selfship community #*wraps myself up in this*#please read the cws

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mxonigirimiya · 2 years

Text

Reckonings and Retributions

An: I tried formatting it on my phone because I'm on vacation. I struggled so I'll wait till I get home next weekend to properly format it, but here's my piece for @mybigbangacademia

Tags: major character death, small reference to start of the Final arc in the manga, depictions of grief, violence(fighting a villain), depiction of a person dying, PTSD, funerals, more gore cuz PTSD flashbacks, panic attacks, MORE GRIEF. Yuh.

The accompanying art was drawn by the extremely talented @almaadst find it here.

Premise: Watching your friend die is never easy, Bakugou learned this the hard way. But how many students need to die for UA to pick up the slack? To make attending the school safe for students and assuage the fears that have been stoked in their parents? To Bakugou’s knowledge, only a couple students have died at UA throughout its history. But for Aizawa, he knows the truth. He sees the grief he experienced when he lost Oboro reflected in his own students, and he decided that he’s had enough. He can’t sit idly by while students are dying. With the determination of class 2-A, they dig for the truth, only to find the hundreds of skeletons in UA and the HPSC are hiding in their closet. When the truth comes to life, the already fragile trust the people had with heroes shattered. And with these revelations, come a reckoning.

I'm really trying to give y'all time to run, or know what you're getting into.

Wc: 20k

Read the tags before clicking read more. Please.

Becoming a hero almost meant that sacrifices were going to be made. Your social life, your sleep, your mental health, or even your life. But as Bakugo is staring at blood soaked rubble, he realized that he wasn't ready to make that ultimate sacrifice. None of his classmates were. So why was he holding the hand of his lifeless friend?

After All for One was defeated, class 2-A took a collective deep breath. The Paranormal Liberation Front was dealt with. Everyone thought that they were finally going to be able to have a normal or at least semi-normal high school experience. That bubble was immediately popped at the Ground Beta site.

Bakugo, Denki and Kaminari were all running through what were the remnants of a multiple story building. There were only two floors that were left, and towering beams that indicated there were even more floors that now cease to exist. It was quiet, almost too quiet for Bakugou. He slowed down and surveyed his surroundings.

"Something feels wrong. I don't know what it is, but I'm not liking it here," Bakugou said, keeping in line with Denki and Kirishima. Dread weighed his brain down, the feeling coating him like a gross, thick syrup. He's never been this on edge before and it scares him. Denki laughed and shoved him a little.

"Dude, you're being paranoid. I know we've been through a lot in the last year, but it's over. All for One, the League, everything is done. We can finally relax," he said, placing his hands behind his head. Kirishima nodded before agreeing, stating, "Denki's right. We should always stay vigilant, but the people who would attack us on campus are never coming back. So we're safe here, alright Bakugou?" Bakugou let out a huff and the three of them remained in silence before a loud boom echoed through the floor. Before any of them could think, they were off, running to figure out the origin of the sound. They thought it was remotely detonated charges set up by the school, but Bakugou had a sinking feeling it was something or someone much worse. Kirishima and Denki were placing bets as to what the school had in store for them, but nothing about this screamed organized. They ran to another part of the building, and Bakugou's blood ran cold at the sight of a large hulking figure standing in front of a gaping hole in the concrete wall.

"Oh, my first victims," the figure spoke, its voice gravely and almost inhuman. It was grotesque, its body looking humanoid with lava and black rocks decorating its skin.

"Shitty Hair! Go alert the school," Bakugou barked out. Kirishima nodded and ran deeper into the building, knowing there's flares somewhere inside, leaving Bakugou and Denki to defend themselves.

Looking around, Bakugou tried to assess his best options, quickly realizing that's this is a nightmare for using his quirk. An enclosed space like this hallway means that Denki is easy collateral damage. All it takes is one wrong move and he'll hurt him, so Bakugou bursts forward, propelled by his hands' explosions in an attempt to run outside, only to be thrown against the wall. Bakugou grunts as he makes impact, and slides to the floor. Denki makes a move to get to Bakugou but the villain gets to Denki first, lifting him by the neck.

"You aren't as interesting, so if you want to live, stay out of it," they growled out, tightening his hold on Denki's neck. Denki felt heavy with nothing but fear as the villain stared at him. Bakugou watched as Denki clawed at the villain's hands in weakening attempts to get them to release him. The villain turned his head to look at Bakugou before continuing to speak. "I wanted you, among some of your other classmates, Shoto and Deku. You all caused quite the stir in the last year and I want to see what all the hype is. The rest of your class is simply collateral damage." They threw Denki to the same, and Bakugou instictively ran to catch his friend before he made contact with the wall.

"Get the fuck out of here Pikachu. I'm not letting you get hurt 'cuz of me," Bakugou growled, but Denki could see pain and worry swimming in his friend's eyes.

"I'm not leaving. Kirishima will be back soon. Let's hold him off til the teachers get here," Denki said, smiling. Bakugou shook his head, voicing his dissent.

"No. You both need to go. This is my fight, not yours." The villain stormed towards them.

"I'm tired of your fluffy shit. Neither of you are hurt really bad, and starting to fuckjng bored." Bakugo blasted both of them out of the building, getting Denki to a safe spot as the villain spoke. "Stay here and wait for the teachers." As Bakugo spoke, a flare shot into the sky, and Bakugo let out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. The teachers know something's up. Someone's gonna come for us. We'll be okay. When everything was so chaotic last year, he always had the teachers behind him, and it gave him so much more confidence and strength knowing he had pro-heroes on his corner, supporting him and ready to lay their lives on the line to protect him and his classmates.

"When the teachers come, tell them what's going on," Bakugou said before blasting off again, leaving a screaming Denki behind. This is his fight and business. He couldn't bear the pain of his best friend getting hurt because the villain want him.

As he arrived back at the building, he saw Kirishima outside, looking around. "Oi, Shitty Hair," Bakugou yelled out, catching Kirishima's attention. Kirishima's shoulders relaxed as he saw his friend.

"Oh thank goodness you're okay. Where's Kaminari," Kirishima asked, relief obvious on his features.

"I took him to safety. And you have to go, too, Shitty Hair. The guy specifically is after me. I refuse to let people get hurt because of me," Bakugou said, causing Kirishima to blink in surprise, before determination took over his features. "I'm your shield, remember? I can deal with the brunt of your attacks so you don't have to be careful around me, you hear? Go all out and show this villain why the best heroes come from UA. Besides, it wouldn't be very manly of me to leave my friend in their time of need," Kirishima stated, and Bakugou let out a "tsk" before the faintest sign of a smile appeared on his face.

"Found you," the villain exclaimed, coming out from the hole he left in the wall. It was almost the villain was playing some sick and twisted version of hide and seek. The villain almost sung those words, and it caused Bakugou to believe that the villain saw everything as somw fucked up game. Kirishima immediately took a defensive stance the moment he heard the villain, and Bakugou started blasting towards the villain. I don't have to incapacitate him, I just need to keep him busy, he thought as lhe blasted the villain in the face. They stumbled before smiling, showing their sharp teeth. "That's what I'm here for. Show me what you're capable of Dynamight," they snarled, now lunging at Bakugou.

Bakugou kept moving around, dodging his attacks, and the villain, slowly becoming more and more agitated, started picking up rubble to throw at him. The air was was slowly becoming more and more saturated with the smell of burnt caramel and smoke as Bakugou kept using his explosions to avoid the villain's attacks, and the crack of each of this explosions pierced through the air.

"I came for a fight, and all you're doing is dancing around me. If you think you're going to live long enough for your teachers to get here and save you, you're sorely mistaken," they growled. Bakugou didn't dignify them with an answer. Don't rile them up, but close yourself off so this isn't as much of a fun game for him. He'll start to want to give up and get messy and that's when I strike, he thought as he kept his pace in the air. He able to blast away pieces of the rubble, and Kirishima came in, blocking some of the villain's projectiles. They hissed out in pain as Kirishima landed some blows on him as well, and the villain immediately turned to punch Kirishima through a wall, knocking the redhead unconscious. "Kirishima," Bakugou yelled out, wanting to run to his friend, but the villain grabbed him and slammed him into the ground.

"Now that the pest is dealt with, time for the main show," they said as they cackled. All Bakugou could see was red, causing an explosion in the villain's face. The attack caused them to release Bakugou and he began an onslaught of attacks, landing blow after blow on the villain. The villain laughed despite obviously hurting from the blows. "This is it! Show me why the League thought you would be a great asset," they laughed, obviously trying to enrage Bakugou even further, but the sound of his name stopped his rampage.

Denki was running towards the fight, throwing a disk towards the villain before shooting out a bolt of electricity at them, their body locking up from the current. Bakugou ran to Denki at this opening, fury covering his features.

"The fuck are you doing here! I thought I told you to wait for the teachers, dumbass," Bakugo screamed. Denki shook his head.

"Aizawa came but he was the only teacher that was there, and I refused to wait any longer while my friends might be dying! He messed with you, meaning he messed with me," Denki said, his voice cracking. Bakugou could see him shaking and clenching his fists. He doesn’t want his friends to get hurt or die while he's hiding in safety. He wants to fight with his friends and loved ones. He refuses to be unsleep. Understanding Denki's emotions, he nodded.

"The moment that things start looking bad, you run. Put yourself first," Bakugou stated. "I won't leave you. I know Kirishima would tell you the same thing. We'll fight by your side to our last breath," Denki said with finality. Bakugou hated the mention of last breath because it in insinuates that either one of you or both of you weren't going to make it out of this interaction alive. Bakugou really wanted to change his mind, but the determination on his face convinced him otherwise.

"Let's get this party started," Denki cheered. He placed his hands down and crackling started filling the air. The air was charged, Bakugou's hair started to stand up, and small bolts of electricity started to worm their way around Denkilike an eel. Light started radiating from Chargebolt and his hair began to rise. The villain regained their bearings and lunged towards them and Denki nodded, signaling Bakugou to leap into the air. A large crack of Thunder boomed around the size of one of Bakugou's AP shot going off right in your eyes. Denki put out a large burst of energy, the ground scorching until it reached the villain. There were black lines where the lightning forced itself through the ground Denki kept it up, only releasing the charge as Bakugou was about to land a hit. It was hit after hit, and the villain regained their bearings enough to throw a piece of rubble at Bakugou, and it just narrowly missed him, causing him to stagger a bit. In the background, Bakugou could hear the sound of footsteps advancing towards him and Bakugou knew this was almost over. Bakugou lunged towards the villain and grabbed his face. He pulled the pin on his gauntlets, delivering a devastating blow, rendering the villain unconscious.

Bakugou landed and panted, on the brink of collapsing from exhaustion. "Looks like we did it Pikachu," Bakugou said, gulping down air with every other word. He was met with silence and dread quickly devoured his relief. "Pikachu," asked, calling out for his friend. He turned to see a large piece of rubble where his friend was. "No, no, no, no this can't be happening," he repeated to himself as he ran to the slab of concrete, only to be met with Denki's body from the waist down trapped under the concrete. Blood was filling his friend's mouth and Denki tried his best to give Bakugou a reassuring smile, but it was one filled with unease as well.

"Stay with me Denki. Please," Bakugou cried out, moving to hold his hand. Bakugou didn't notice the blood covering his friend's hand, nor would he even care if he did. Denki gave it a weak squeeze and turned to look at him.

"Please don't blame yourself. I know you, so I know you'll do it. This is no one else's fault but the villain's. They threw the rubble. Not you," Denki said, pain drowning every word he spoke. Bakugou is always so hard on himself, blaming himself for every and any little thing. So he knew right away that Bakugou would blame himself for this.

"But I could have blown the rubble away. It didn't need to hit you," Bakugou stated, almost choking on his words.

"You didn't know it would hit me. I know if you even thought it would hit me you would have blown it away," Denki said, squeezing Bakugou's hand again. "I trust you with my like Kacchan. Even now, as you blame yourself, I still trust you. I always will trust you." Don't believe Denki's front though, he was terrified. He didn't want to die, he had so much left to do. But if he showed that fear, it would eat Bakugou for the rest of his life, and he couldn’t do that to him. He didn't blame him anyway. Denki's eyes became heavy and he started blinking, each one longer than the other. "Everything's gonna be okay," Denki said, squeezing Bakugou's hand. "Tell Shinsou I love him," Denki said softly and Bakugou shook his head, refusing his request. "You're gonna tell him that yourself Kaminari, you hear me," Bakugou said, holding Denki's hand tightly, and Denki gave Bakugou a smile before closing his eyes.

"No, you stay with me. Keep your eyes open and keep talking to me, you hear me Kaminari," Bakugou barked out, but he was met with silence, Denki's chest rising and falling slowly, but starting to slow even further. Soon it came to a complete still, and Denki's hand fell limp in Bakugou's. Bakugou repeatedly called out his friend's name in agony, and leaned in to hear it silent. An anguished cry sounded from Bakugou and Mina ran over, collapsing when she realized her friend was dead. She held Bakugou close, her wails joining his own. The teachers let them mourn before moving to pull them away. Mina went easily, but Bakugo refused to go, kicking and screaming.

"Let me go! I wanna stay with him! Please," he screamed, and Aizawa and Hizashi quickly moved in to get the teachers off of him, and knelt next to him.

"We have to get him ready to give to his family. We need you to let him go, okay," Aizawa asked, his voice soft. Bakugou looked at him with wide eyes, his cries turned into sniffles, before he got up and Aizawa held him tightly, allowing his student to cry into his chest. Hizashi rubbed his back, and they walked back to the crowd that had amassed near the scene. The sound of footsteps brought Bakugou back, and Bakugou turned to see Shinsou and his group panting wildly as Shinsou specifically walked toward Bakugou. Hwere on the farthest side of the training grounds so it took him a while, but he heard Denki was in trouble and ran over as fast as he could. He needed to tell Denki how he felt, that he was in love with him, whether it would be reciprocated or not, because he may not get another chance. His blood ran cold as he was now able to see the scene, his eyes landing on Bakugou, as Mina gave Shinsou a small hug before croaking out "I'm sorry". Shinsou looked around to see Denki's body being moved from the rubble. Aizawa's eyes landed on him and he instictively moved Bakugou into Hizashi's hands before moving towards Shinsou. The latter crumpled to the ground before releasing heart-wrenching sobs. It felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest. Shinsou's wails pierced the air, and Bakugou felt his heart breaking all over again.

Aizawa lifted him up and walked him back over to where Bakugou and Hizashi were. Bakugou looked up and he couldn’t meet Shinsou's eyes. "He loved you," Bakugou blurted out. Shinsou's cries turned into small sobs as he let out a quiet, "what?" "Kaminari loved you. Those were his last words. He asked me to tell you that he loved you," Bakugo clarified, and Shinsou moved to hug Bakugou tightly as he let out loud sobs again. "He knew you loved him though. So try not to regret not telling him because he already knew it," Bakugou said, returning the hug. Aizawa tapped Bakugou, informing him that he needed to be treated for his injuries.

After he was patched up, he waited in Kirishima's hospital room, wanting to be the one to break the news to him. It took an hour or so for Kirishima to come around, giving a weak smile to Bakugou. "Did we get him," he asked groggily, to which Bakugou replied, "yeah, we did." Kirishima nodded and looked around the room. There were numerous beds, but his was the only one occupied. "Where's Denki," Kirishima asked, and Bakugou looked down. "Kirishima, about that," Bakugou started, looking down at the floor, but Kirishima shot up, now seated in the bed, and interrupted Bakugou. "Don't tell me-" Bakugou nodded, a small sniffle coming from him and Kirishima started sobbing, only to cause Bakugou to join in the sorrow. Their cries echoed off the room's walls like a cave designed to minic their pain. He quickly moved to hug Kirishima, and whispered, "I'm sorry Eijiro. I could have done more to save him."

Kirishima grabbed Bakugou's shoulders firmly, staring into his eyes. "It isn't your fault and don't blame yourself. It's not what he would want. The whole 'would've/could've/should've' isn't manly at all and serves NO ONE. You tried your best. We both did. There was nothing more we could have done and you need to accept that," Kirishima stated, his voice firm, albeit with occasional cracks. He was right. There was nothing either of them could do. Denki was gone. Kirishima held Bakugou's hands tightly, maintaining his intense eye contact, before continuing to speak. "Everyone is going to have to stick together. It's gonna be rough for a while, but if there's ever a moment we have to come together, it's now. Of course our pain is different from theirs, but mine is different than yours too. But it's okay to be vulnerable right now. It's okay that people have seen you cry and will see you cry. You lost your best friend right in front of you. Of course you're going to be an emotional wreck. But you aren't alone in your grief. You aren't alone at all. And you need to remember that because I'm going to knock down your door to make sure you're eating." Bakugo nodded and Kirishima gave him a small smile. "I know Denki wouldn't want me crying right now, he wouldn’t want any of us to cry, so I'm trying my absolute best to keep it together, but damn is it hard," Kirishima breathed out, and Bakugou squeezed Kirishima's hand before moving to lay in the bed next to his. There was considerable amount of space between the two of them, but just being in the same room as Kirishima makes him feel a little more at ease.

"Hey, do you mind me sleeping here for the night? I don't really want to be alone right now," Bakugou grumbled out, and Kirishima nodded. He's trying his best not to go back to his abrasive demeanor, but he feels like it will bring some normalcy back into his life. Later though, because emotions are running high, and he doesn't want to hurt any of his friends any further.

As Bakugou fell asleep, his body felt heavy, and his eyes opened to him at the field again. It wasn't raining, but the low cracks of thunder were almost deafing, and the bursts of lightning were almost blinding. The thunder was a soft background to Denki's pained screams. Bakugou runs back to the rubble to find Denki there again. Seeing his friend's mangled body was absolutely worse the second time around. Bakugou had to focus on the rubble, and nothing else to preserve his sanity. The moment he looked at Denki’s body, Denki's eyes landed on Bakugou. The screams quickly turned into venomous words. "It's your fault! If you paid attention, I wouldn't have gotten crushed. My death is on your hands," Denki spat out, causing Bakugou to fall onto the grass. No, it wasn't his fault, was it? Everyone keep saying it isn't, but he holds his guilt deep inside. Kirishima's voice sounded and parroted Denki's words. Bakugou turned to see Kirishima's mangeled body the floor. Then came Mina, then Jirou, then Shinsou, then Aizawa, and slowly more and more people joined in on the cacophonous chants of "It's all your fault." The smell of blood from their mangled bodies pierced his nose, violating his sense of smell. Bakugou covered his ears, sobbing and trying his best to ignore the chants, but they only got louder with each passing moment. His heart beat in his chest like an drummer going through a solo. His brain practically shut down at that point. Overwhelmed, Bakugou closed his eyes and let out a scream to drown out the sounds, only to shoot up in bed, his eyes opened wide as he scanned the hospital room. Kirishima was staring at him, concern laced in his eyes. "You okay there? You were screaming and then woke up," Kirishima asked. Bakugou couldn't even answer, breaking down into tears for what feels like the 20th time within the last 24 hours. Kirishima couldn't really get out of bed due to his injuries, so all he could do was whisper reassurances to his best friend, hoping it would be enough. A nurse came running in, panic in her eyes, but took a sigh of relief when she saw no one was severely physically hurt. She saw nothing but pain reflected in Bakugou's eyes, and moved to offer him some chamomile and lavender tea, and/or melatonin to help him sleep. He took her offer on the tea and she left to prepare it for him. The two boys sat in silence, neither one knowing what to say to the other, and just waited for the nurse to come back.

When she returned she had two white porcelain tea mugs, steam billowing from their lips. She set them down next to the boys and gave them a soft smile. "Hey, I can push your beds closer if you want. I assume you had a nightmare," the nurse spoke, looking at Bakugou, and then turned to Kirishima before continuing, "and you wanted to comfort your friend, but you're currently bed bound so you can't hug him despite really wanting to. So once you finish your teas, I'll make sure you two are within arms reach of each other, okay? Think of Kirishima as your emotional support animal right now, although I highly suggest you look into getting one." The nurse finished speaking and left. Again, the boys just stayed silent, focusing on the tea in their hands, the warmth relieving some of their anguish. After an hour, the nurse came back, Kirishima already fast asleep, and Bakugou still awake but his eyes slowly shutting before he forces them open. Their mugs were on their bedside tables, and she moved them to a table near the door before moving the boys close to each other. She moved their bedside tables to make sure they were on the outside of the beds, removing obstructions between them. Bakugou gave a soft grunt in appreciation and she turned around to grab the cups and leave for the night. She gave one last look at the boys, smiling at Bakugou finally fast asleep, and his hand intertwined with Kirishima's.

The next morning, Bakugou was woken up by the nurse, who informed him that Denki's parents wanted to speak to him. Would they blame him for Denki's death? Do they hate him? He wouldn't blame them for either. Bakugou gulped, and he got out of bed sluggishly following the nurse out of the room and through the hospital until they got to a conference room. The nurse open the door, and Bakugou walked in to see Denki's parents and Aizawa standing up, intensely looking at the door. Denki's mom ran to him as soon as the nurse closed the door behind him and hugged him tightly, soft sniffles sounding from her, while Aizawa sat back down. Bakugou was stunned, his eyes wide, but returned the hug nonetheless. After she pulled away, she gently held his cheek in her hand, giving him a wet smile. "You know, Kaminari was super excited when you started warming up to him. He told me that you were 'grumpy as hell, but had a good heart'. He would talk about how he was so happy when you didn't push him away anymore, and 'accepted' his friendship. You were a good friend to my boy, and I can never thank you enough," she said, her voice dripping in fondness. "But I got him killed," Bakugou replied, his voice meek. The little voice in his head refused to remain silent, vocalizing the mindset it quickly adopted within these last 24 hours.

"Don't you dare blame yourself. Kaminari was there because he wanted to protect you. Protect his friends. He wouldn't want to be anywhere else but by your side. The person to blame is the fucking villain who killed him. I don't care that he was after you in particular. He made the decision to break into UA's grounds. He threw the rubble. It's his fault, not yours," she said, her voice now firm. Her husband came up from behind her and placed a hand on Bakugou's shoulder. "We could have blamed you. But we know that it would only be us lashing out at you because we were blinded by grief. You can't predict the future. After all, hindsight is 20/20. But you were there for him in his final moments. You stayed by his side and comforted him. Our son didn't die alone, he died with you by his side, and we can't thank you enough," he added onto his wife's words. "Being a hero means that there's a risk that you'll have to make the ultimate sacrifice. Whether it's making a last stand or by accident, heroes die in the line of duty. But I know so many of my colleagues who died alone. They must have been so scared, but they had no one to comfort them in their final moments. But Denki had you. He had you holding his hand and talking to him. And I'm so thankful that he wasn't scared and alone in his final moments, but was feeling loved by you," she finished, now moving to sit at the table again.

"They wanted to comfort you. That's why they called you here," Aizawa said, Bakugou's attention now turning on him. "It works for me, because the school is holding a memorial for him, and we would like your help to organize it. We already spoke to Mina, Sero, and Jirou, who already agreed. Kirishima and you are all that's left to ask," Aizawa explained. Bakugou took a second to think. Is he the right person for this? Will he be mentally okay enough for this? But the memory of Denki's smile and laugh flashed through his head, and that made up his mind for him.

"I'll do it." Denki wouldn't want us crying and mourning like this. He would want us to celebrate his life, happy that he was with us. Aizawa nodded and called for the nurse to take him back to his room. Bakugou sat in his bed once he arrived and looked at Kirishima who was still fast asleep. "He'll probably be discharged tomorrow. I spoke to the doctor, and they're looking into you two being roommates for a little bit. You were able to sleep well last night after Kirishima held your hand, so with Kirishima staying with you, you can get some sleep," the nurse said. He didn't even realize she was still there but whispered a soft thanks before she left the room. Bakugou laid down and held Kirishima's hand again, the same hand from last night still extended, and found himself slipping into a dreamless slumber.

The next morning, Bakugou woke up to see Jirou, Shinsou, Sero and Mina all standing by Kirishima's bed. They were mumbling, and Bakugou coughed loudly to gain their attention. They turned to him and the room turned silent for a bit until Mina grabbed him and hugged him tightly. "I'm here for you Bakugou. We all are," she spoke, and the rest of the group nodded, their attention now on their explosive friend.

"Well, I, uh, am here for you too," he mumbled, the words foreign on his tongue. Everyone laughed at his awkwardness and Bakugou smiled, this moment being the first time he wasn't consumed with grief.

Jirou and Sero hugged him tightly as well, this quickly turning into an awkward cuddle puddle. In this room, normalcy reigned supreme. Bakugou felt a couple more bodies join in, and he grumbled at them to get off, but they refused, only hugging him tighter. Soon enough, they all broke apart, and that brief moment of happiness was choked out by grief.

"We have to start planning the memorial. The school said they'll do whatever we ask, so we have to figure that out," Shinsou said. His voice didn't waiver but there was pain in his eyes. Bakugou nodded and pointed towards the back corner of the room, where there were a stack of chairs. Everyone but Bakugou and Kirishima went to grab one and bring it back to the beds, where those chairs made a crude U shape as they started making the plans.

Over the next week, the group met in Kirishima's and Bakugou's room, Aizawa sometimes showing up as well. It was mostly a somber event, after all, they're planning a memorial for their best friend. But there's moments of time where the room is full of laughter, the group reminiscing about the nonsense Denki got you all into. The room went from being full of grief to being full of glee, and Bakugou could swear up and down he heard his laughter mixed into theirs, and it began to feel as if he was in fhe room with them.

Soon, the memorial was all set, and ready to go. The morning of, UA's second years gathered in the auditorium. The energy filling the room was dense, the grief filling the room like toxic clouds. Bakugou felt like it was hard to breathe, the sorrow almost like a hand wrapped around his throat and was slowly putting more pressure on him. He was backstage, frozen in place from the pain of what he is about to do. Why did he even agree to this? Honoring his memory? Most of the students gathered in the room barely even knew him! They didn't know how sometimes he would snort if he laughed too hard, or sometimes even wheeze. They didn't know how he had to hype himself up before exams. They didn't know how much he grew from their first year. They knew nothing about him, so why were they grieving? A hand on his shoulder broke him from his thoughts, and he turned to see Kirishima behind him. "They're ready for us," he informed his friend, and Bakugou nodded, making his way onto the stage. The lights were bright, and with his limited vision, he could see so many students with tears in their eyes. He could hear sniffles and even full on sobbing in the crowd. How much of an influence did Denki have? Bakugou looked at the stage finally, seeing a giant photo of Denki on an easel, draped in yellow and black flowers. There was a podium next to it where Aizawa stood. Bakugou noticed that he was dressed practically the same way as he does when he has to, whether it be visiting parents or press conferences. His suit was wrinkled, and his hair was placed into a horribly done top bun. Aizawa cleared his throat and spoke into the microphone, starting the memorial.

"Good morning second-years. I'm sorry that we have to gather under sad circumstances, but we're here to honor the memory of Denki Kaminari.” A wail sounded from the seats, and Bakugou watched as the student was gently escorted out of the room. Aizawa continued after the door closed behind them. “He was a bright student. Every time would walk into a room, his smile would lighten up the space. He was well loved, not just by his classmates, but his peers among his year, and the staff. I can personally attest that sometimes on bad days seeing his antics would put the first, and sometimes the only smile on my face of the day. I know I’ll miss him greatly, and class 2-A will never be the same without him,” Aizawa finished, now stepping from the podium.

Bakugou knew it was his turn to speak, but his feet were frozen in place. It felt like there was something weighing him down, his body too heavy to walk towards the podium. Kirishima’s voice rang in his ears, “If you can’t speak, that’s okay, I’ll go instead. But are you gonna be okay up there?” Bakugou took a deep breath and nodded, slowly walking to the podium. A small folded piece of paper burned a hole into his pocket, and as he got behind the podium he pulled the paper out and unfurled it. He kept his down, unable to look at the crowd in front of him. Taking another deep breath, he looked at the paper in front of him, the speech that he planned that’s essentially perfect and meticulous, but it was devoid of emotion, and he knew it. He knew that it was his feelings, but deeping sanitized to make it palatable to an audience, but it wasn’t him. He crumpled up the paper and threw it on the floor.

“Denki was my best friend. Scratch that, he is my best friend. He will always be my best friend. But we didn’t start like that. In one of our first interactions, he told me, ‘We've only barely started socializing and already you've made it abundantly clear to us the unpleasantness of your steamed turn of a personality.’ So we didn’t like each other that much. But he grew on me, and I grew on him. We helped each other grow, not just as heroes, but as students and as people. He helped me be more cooperative, and I helped him be more confident. But we also gave each other a safe space to be authentically ourselves. I don’t know how many times I found myself in front of his room when I had a particularly bad day and he would always distract me from my negative emotions. I always went back to my room in a much better state than when I left it. He’s easily one of the good things in my life, and I’m so lucky that I get to say that,” Bakugou stated, his speech fully coming from his heart. He looked up at Denki’s photo, and in a weird way, it felt like Denki was reassuring him that everything is going to be okay. Bakugou wasn’t aware of this, but the mic picked up his parting words of, “I’ll miss you Kaminari,” and it took all of Aizawa’s energy to not cry at those words. He’s never seen Bakugou so vulnerable and it’s killing him to see his students going through the same pain that he went through all those years ago.

The rest of the memorial went smoothly, although Bakugou zoned out after he took his seat backstage. Words sounded like static despite his best attempts to focus on his friend’s words. Each speech they gave sounded like they were speaking through cotton, and after the third speech, he just gave up, his mind fully dissociating. Kirishima wanted to comfort him, but Bakugou has been staring at the stage, but it’s like he’s seeing through everyone. His eyes were unfocused, and the call of his name from Mina or Sero couldn’t break his trance, and so everyone just let him be. The sound of Denki’s mother pulled him violently into reality, as he saw both her and her husband at the podium.

“Thank you all for being here. It makes me so happy to see how loved our son was by the school. I think he would be so happy to know how many people wh]ose life he’s touched. Denki was proud that he got into UA. When he got his acceptance letter, it was all he talked about for months. And then when he started actually attending the school, he came home with stories about his classmates and the people he met or talked to that day. But I know that Denki wouldn’t want everyone wallowing in sorrow, so you can take the letters that you wrote and dump them in the baskets near the doors or give them to a staff member,” she said, and Bakugou remembered the letter idea that Mina had a while back. She suggested that students wrote at least one good memory they had with Denki, but he had no idea they actually went through it since 2-A hasn’t had class since the incident. He’s barely even left his room, with Kirishima bringing him food and water throughout the day. “Keep those good memories with you. After all, you only truly die when everyone who knew you forgets about you.” She and her husband bowed after her last words, and Bakugou stared as they made their way towards him. He shot out of his chair as they approached him, and they hugged him before she gestured everyone to join in on the hug. “Denki’s so lucky to have all of you in his life. I couldn’t ask for a better set of friends for Kami to have. He was so happy to have been in every single one of your lives, so please, keep going, for him,” she said tearfully, and Bakugou felt her arms tighten around him.

They were all so absorbed into the moment that they didn’t even realize that Aizawa ended the memorial until they heard him call for Bakugou. Everyone pulled away and Bakugou walked towards his teacher who hugged him tightly. “I know exactly what you’re going through right now. I lost my best friend while I was at UA as well. He died during an internship and I saw him die in front of my eyes,” Aizawa said before pulling away to look Bakugou in the eyes, and then continued. “He had a speaker to communicate with me that was right next to me after he was crushed by the rubble. I heard him encourage me to finish the fight through it, only to find out after the fact that the speaker wasn’t working and his voice was in my head. To this day, I still blame myself for his death. Even after finding out he’s still alive, I still blame myself. It’s why I’m always so hard on you kids. You’re just kids. You shouldn’t be fighting adults. I don’t care how capable you are, it’s not your job. If you as children have to fight full-fledged villains, then that’s a failure on the part of the adults. That means we failed as teachers, as heroes, as mentors and as protectors. And that means we failed you. But please, don’t blame yourself like I did. I know that everyone is telling you this, but I’m hoping that it means a lot more coming from me since I was in your same exact shoes. That I regret drilling the fact that it was my fault into my head. I don’t want you to have that same regret.” Bakugou simply nodded and Aizawa let him go, the area now empty except for the two of them, and Kirishima. The latter walked up to Bakugou and simply stated, “let’s go,” before the two of them made their way back to their room.

The funeral wasn’t any easier. At first it was the wake, and it was simple enough. Bakugou was slightly relieved that no one expected him to talk because he didn’t have the strength to. He had spent most of the ceremony fiddling with his black tie. If it wasn’t his tie, it was him “dusting off” his suit jacket or his slacks. Everyone was focused on the priest, taking in his words, and Bakugou tried his best, but his brain just kept feeling like it was full of wool. He was seated with his friends in the section dedicated to Denki’s relatives. Denki’s parents justified it with the explanation that Denki considered them family, so it was only fair that they sat with the family, and Denki’s relatives all agreed.

Bakugou looked at the sound system hooked up to the temple, a microphone hooked to the priest’s robe. He found the amount of wires going around the space was odd, since it would suggest a large amount of speakers were in use, but Bakugou assumed that it was due to the large number of people seated in the temple, so have a lot of speakers made sense so that everyone could hear the sutra.

Then it was time to offer incense, with each family member walking up to the burner, a large ornate bowl with a thick stem and base. His mom taught him the traditions when he was younger, and he made sure to practice before tonight. The prayer beads that Denki’s mother gave him earlier sat cold around his fingers, coiled around his left hand, and that’s all he could focus on as he got up and made his way to the altar. He froze once he could clearly see Denki’s body in the casket. He was adorned in a long kimono that fully covered his legs and feet. His mind flashed back to the moment Denki had died, the memory fully consuming his head. A hand on his back tore him from his flashback, Denki’s father beside him. “You can sit back down if this is too much for you. I know this is probably taking you back to that moment,” he said, and Bakugou shook his head in refusal. He’s here to honor his friend, and he’s going to do it right.

Now standing a step or two away from the altar, he took a deep breath. It was his left foot, then his right, and then putting his left next to his right as he stood directly in front of the altar. He took some of the ground incense with his right hand and put it into the burner. Placing the palms of his hands together, he kept his fingers straight and placed the outside of his thumbs on his chest and bowed again. He relaxed his hands, dropping them at his sides, and took three steps back. Right foot, left foot, together. He bowed one last time, and made his way back to his seat, where Denki’s mother rubbed his back gently, reassuring him that he did a good job.

The rest of the wake passed by quickly and it was time for people to start leaving. Bakugou’s parents walked up to him and hugged him tightly. Neither knew what to say in this moment. They knew that their son had gone through so much, but they’ve never seen him like this before. They’ve never seen him this broken, so how do they comfort him? “I’m heading back to UA,” he said softly, pulling away from his parents. He remembered how his mother called him weak after the slime villain, and how tough she’s been to him, and he just can’t deal with that right now. Mitsuki nodded and they let Bakugou leave. Mitsuki’s brain was telling her to say something, anything to try and alleviate some of the pain her son is going through, but she remained silent, watching her son’s retreating figure leave the temple.

As Bakugou and his friends left, he saw a massive group of people waiting outside, each offering incense to a massive burner. There were a couple speakers set up outside, which explained all those wires. Everyone gave him sad smiles whenever they made eye contact, and Bakugou quickly became overwhelmed with grief at the sight of all of these people. Denki would be so happy to know that so many people cared about him, and still do.

When Bakugou got back into the dorm, he quickly got ready for bed, Kirishima following suit, and the moment his body hit the bed, he was asleep.

The next morning was the funeral itself, and Bakugou had practically no energy to go, but he knew he had to. He knew that he had to be there, whether it’s for Denki, for his family, or his friends, it was the only place he needed to be today. He begrudgingly put on his suit, and Kirishima practically pulled him to the car waiting in front of the dorms. “We’re almost late dude. Let’s hope there’s no traffic,” Kirishima said, anxiety dancing in his words.

By the time they arrived, most of the seats were taken, but Mina saved them a seat next to her, Sero and the others already seated with her. Only a minute after they sat down, the ceremony started. Everything went similarly as yesterday’s although Bakugou noticed there were no speakers set up outside like last night. Another difference was the renaming ceremony, and although Bakugou understood the reasoning and tradition behind it, Bakugou could only wish that simply saying Denki’s name would bring him back to him. At the end of the service, Mina pulled out a bouquet of flowers that were placed under her chair. “I got one for everyone.” Bakugou remembered Mina texted about that the other day, although it slipped his mind completely this morning. Everyone took one, and they each placed a flower into his coffin, his head and shoulders adorned with flora.

After the coffin was sealed, the funeral ended, and Bakugou was silently glad that Denki’s mother didn’t invite him for the cremation. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to take physically picking up his friend’s bones and placing them in an urn.

For the next month everything seemed to be a blur. Bakugou’s grades faltered for a while, although Aizawa pushed him to pick up the slack. Bakugou hadn’t had a dream since his nightmare a month ago, and his sleep quality has taken a turn for the worst. There were talks of Bakugou going back to his own room, but Bakugou refused, knowing that we would have those nightmares again. Despite Bakugou’s, Kirishima’s and Aizawa’s arguments, they put Bakugou into his own room and for days, Bakugou refused to sleep. He had coffee, energy drinks, tea, whatever it took to keep him up, but one night, his body had enough, and he collapsed from exhaustion. He doesn’t remember the dream he had, but all he knows is that he woke up screaming in the infirmary. Kirishima ran in and held Bakugou, telling him, “It’s okay. You’re safe here. It’s gonna be okay,” and Bakugou’s screams quickly turned into violent sobbing. In his tears, Bakugou could barely make out the sound of Aizawa screaming outside the door. He didn’t really care to figure out what his teacher was saying, to focused on trying his best to calm down. After what felt like hours, he finally calmed down, his sobs turning into soft sniffles. Kirishima went outside and Aizawa came in almost immediately after Kirishima left.

“Hey Bakugou. I convinced the school to get you an emotional support animal. For now, I have a cat in my room that I can allow you to sleep with. She’s a cuddle bug and extremely friendly, so I think she would work well in the interim. And when you get your own emotional support animal, she does work well with other animals, already used to Eri’s animal. But if she doesn’t work, and you have nightmares, we’ll reevaluate. But all your papers are being expedited, so you’ll get your official animal soon,” Aizawa stated, and before Bakugou could respond, Aizawa left the room. Kirishima returned not long after, and handed Bakugou a bottle of water.

“Hey, I saw Aizawa leave, everything alright,” he asked Bakugou, and Bakugou huffed before responding.

“Yeah. He’s getting me an emotional support animal. He thinks having one around would help with the nightmares.” Kirishima nodded before grinning.

“That sounds like it would work! After all, you could only really sleep when I was in the same room. I think having an emotional support animal would be great for you. Would they only be for your room, or for when you’re out and about,” he asked and Bakugou shrugged.

“I only know that I get nightmares. I don’t think I get panic attacks or anything like that. But I’ll ask for one I can take in public just in case,” Bakugou said, his finger on his chin. He doesn’t know the extent of his own trauma. Sometimes it gets worse after a while, so it’s better to prepare for the worst. He chugged the water bottle and gave the empty bottle to Kirishima to throw out. Bakugou fell asleep without even realizing, and the moment Kirishima held his hand and sat down on the edge of the bed. He used his other hand to scroll through his phone for the next couple hours.

Aizawa came back a couple hours later to find Kirishima asleep next to Bakugou. The sight before him reminded him about the many sleepovers Hizashi and Oboro had during their time in UA. Smiling softly, he woke up Kirishima, sending the boy back to his room, before gently waking up Bakugou.

“Hey, I have everything ready for Cookie to spend the night at your dorm,” Aizawa said gently.

“Is Cookie the cat you were talking about,” Bakugou asked groggily. Aizawa nodded.

“She’s already in your room. I’ll walk with you back to your room so that I can make sure that she doesn’t escape.” Bakugou got up and started walking to his room with Aizawa in tow.

When Bakugou arrived at his room, he slowly opened the room to see a grayish cat covered in black specks.

“Her full name is Cookies and Cream,” Aizawa said in the doorway, smiling at the cat. Cookie ran towards Aizawa and he scooped her into his arms. “Sit down on your bed,” he ordered, and Bakugo sat down. Aizawa walked towards him and placed Cookie onto his student’s lap. “Put out a hand.” Bakugou listened, and Cookie sniffed his hand before rubbing her face on his hand, purring. Bakugou gave her a soft smile, just her presence alleviated some of his pain. “I’ll pick her up in the morning, and drop her off at night. I also left treats and a litter box here. I hope she helps.” Aizawa left after he spoke, leaving Bakugou and Cookie alone in the room. They stared at each other for a little bit before Bakugou went to get ready for bed. When Bakugou took his shower, Cookie was mewling outside the door, and after he stepped out, he opened the door, Cookie trotted towards him, and rubbed her face on his wet leg. Bakugou scoffed and brushed his teeth, and spit it out before picking up the small cat. He placed her on the bed, and told her to stay there while he got dressed. She surprisingly stayed on the bed, watching him get dressed. He climbed into his bed, and Cookie moved out the way before climbing into his bed. Cookie climbed onto his chest once he was comfortable and curled onto it. He found himself falling asleep within minutes, her purring luring him to sleep.

When he woke up, Cookie was still on his chest, moving to rub her face against his as she felt him move. Bakugou put her on his lap as he sat up, moving to get out of bed. He placed her on his shoulder, brushing his teeth, and leaving her on the toilet cover as he moved to shower. A knock sounded from his door, he quickly finished his shower and got dressed before running to open the door. Aizawa stood before him.

“I’ve come to get Cookie. I’ll bring her back around 8:30, since I know you go to bed around 9,” Aizawa said, moving to pick up the cat. “I’ll see you in class.” With Cookie in tow, Aizawa left, Bakugou feeling a little empty at the sound of his door closing.

As he arrived, the class stared at him. He knew they were aware of his nightmares, knowing that tonight was the first night he was sleeping without anyone with him. He didn’t look exhausted, and they were relieved. They knew he didn’t scream in the middle of the night, so he was okay, and that's all they wanted for their friend.

Class went just fine for the day, Bakugou showing a bit more of his old personality, calling Kirishima “Shitty Hair.” Kirishima didn’t even realize how much he missed that nickname until Bakugou said it. He could see that Bakugou was starting to heal, and that made him more than happy. If anyone needed to heal from this all, it was Bakugou.

Cookie stayed with him for a couple months, his sleep shifting from dreamless to neutral to even pleasant dreams. One morning when Aizawa came to pick her up, he gave Bakugou a letter.

“Your emotional support animal is going to be here by the end of the week. But you’re free to visit Cookie at my apartment,” he stated, and Bakugou nodded. Cookie mewled loudly, sad that she's no longer going back into his room, or able to hang out with him. Aizawa chuckled. "Please visit soon, I have a sinking feeling our little feline friend is going to miss you. Bakugou scratched her head gently and her cries turned into soft purrs of satisfaction and pleasure.

When it came time to meet his support animal, he was met with a small dog, who wore a harness labeled “service dog”. He was in the principal’s office just staring down this dog that could easily fit in a tote bag. It was super fluffy and Bakugou looked at the scene with a raised eyebrow. He kinda expected a big dog to match his big personality, practicality be damned.

“Meet Akio, the pomeranian. He’ll be your emotional support animal. Aizawa expressed that you needed one that could stay on your bed, and he’s the perfect size to share your bed with, as well as be able to go to classes and off campus with you,” Nezu said, smiling at Bakugou. He really did pity the circumstances he was in, and knew that this was something that could have been completely avoided, if only he exercised his power as the principal. “A trainer will guide you through caring for Akio. But we’ll make sure that both you and him will be taken care of, okay,” Nezu said, and Bakugou nodded. The person holding Akio’s leash handed it over to Bakugou before leaving. He stared down at the dog, and he looked up at him.

When everything was signed Bakugou went to his room, and Akio trotted happily alongside him. He got stares from classmates but no one said anything to him, rage radiating off of him. How could they give him such a cute animal? He’s Bakugou FUCKING Katsuki, aka Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight. Nothing about him is cute, so why is he carrying this blonde cloud around? It looks like his shedded hair from over the years formed into a giant ass hairball. He thinks they purposely picked an animal that had fur the same color as his hair.

As he arrived in his room, Akio sat down, and Bakugou lifted him up to the bed. Akio stared at his new owner, almost curious, and Bakugou grunted at the sight. He stayed perfectly on the bed, watching as Bakugou moved to the bathroom to get ready for bed. He walked out in his pajamas to see Akio waiting in front of the door, excitement lacing their face when they saw Bakugou. Grumbling, Bakugou picked him up and took him to bed, laying on his back while Akio laid on his chest. He watched as the small animal curled up on his chest and slowly fell asleep. Bakugou smirked and slowly fell asleep.

Suddenly, he was back at Ground Beta, and his body was bound the same way it was at his first Sports Festival. The metal pole behind him felt cold against his back through his gym uniform. The voice of the monster that captured him his 3rd year of middle school echoed through the space and Bakugou’s blood ran cold.

“Ah Bakugou, look at you. Your weakness is always on full display, no matter how hard you try to hide it. Quirkless Midoriya pitied you. Everyone touted you to be the next incarnation of All Might while a quirkless loser had to save you. Maybe it would have been better if I killed you then. Save you all the shame.” Bakugou sighed shakily at the words. Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7, breathe out for 8. In, 4. Hold, 7. Out, 8. Bakugou kept repeating the pace in his head while he felt his body tremble. No. He’s wrong. Deku saving him was something he could never forget. Deku read him like a book, and he hated it at the moment, but he was happy that Deku could read him like that. If he died, he would have never got the opportunity to grow, or to apologize to Deku for everything. He would have never met his friends, Kirishima, Sero, Denki. He took a deep breath and looked up, determination lacing his features. He pulled at his restraints and yelled with exertion, the chains breaking under the stress. He then pulled away from the pole and broke the binding around his hands, before ripping off the mask.

“Listen here fuckface: I’ll live my life as authentically as I want without regret. I may have weaknesses, but no one is perfect. I’ll never be perfect, but I’ll try my damndest to get close. Deku didn’t pity me, he saw someone, a friend, in danger. He wanted to help me not because he thought I was weak but because he wanted me to live. I told him to kill himself not too long before that, and he chose to save me. Don’t you dare act like a friend protecting another friend is a sign of weakness,” he screamed out at the top of his lungs. His voice cracked time and time again, but fire raged behind his eyes. “FUCK. YOU.”

“So that means you letting me die was a sign of weakness,” a voice spat, and Bakugou immediately turned to see Denki standing behind him, fury in his features. Bakugou tried to walk towards him, but it was like his feet were glued to the floor.

“No. It’s the villain who killed you. You know for a fact that if I had known it would have hit you, I would have blasted it away. You’re one of my closest friends, and we promised that we would all travel the world once we retired,” Bakugou said softly. Denki was the one who made that plan for the both of them, Kirishima, Sero, Mina, Jirou, and Shinsou. It was a little pact between them all, and even though Bakugou spoke about how he’s not going to retire til he’s old and gray, he still held those plans close to his heart.

“Still, you allowed it to hit me. It still falls on your shoulders.” Bakugou sighed.

“You told me it wasn’t my fault, your parents and practically everyone else said the same thing. But I still feel slightly guilty for it, and I’ll probably carry that guilt for the rest of my life. I really wish I knew it was going to hit you. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't have let you die. But I can't go back. I'm stuck in this shitty ass timeline or whatever where I no longer have one of my best friends. But you know what? I won’t let some cheap knockoff of my best friend play with me like this.” Denki smirked wickedly and a bright flash blinded Bakugou before Denki laid in front of him, clutching at his legs. His legs were bloodied and mangled, and he watched as his friend started to claw at his pants, blood transferring onto his clothing. Bakugou balked at the sight before him, trying to process this before he felt more hands on the back of his legs. He turned behind him to see another Denki behind him. Looking up, he saw numerous versions of Denki crawling at him with their hands. Turning back around he saw the same sight. Chants of “your fault” filled the space, slowly rising in volume. Bakugou couldn’t seem to catch his breath, his breathing turning into hyperventilation. He kept chanting “wake up”, pinching himself, and slapping his face, but he was still stuck in the nightmare. This was all so much and he felt his brain starting to shut down, the stimulants too much for it to handle. His skin started to feel slimy, as if he was covered in spit, and he let out a soft sob, everything now overwhelming.

Bakugou woke up to Akio licking his face with a soft whine. Bakugou wrapped the dog into his arms and let out a soft sob, crying into its fur. Bakugou stayed like this for a while until sleep took him again without warning.

Bakugou woke up from a now dreamless sleep with Akio sleeping on his chest. He took the dog and moved him to his lap. Akio woke up and the movement, and gave Bakugou a quiet “woof”. Bakugou smiled gently, and took Akio with him to the bathroom, resting him on his closed hamper.

It was a small routine he built with Akio. He would tag along when Bakugou was on his morning run, as well as when he went to class. Akio would stay silent in class, seated right by Bakugou’s chair, as well as having him on the sidelines while he trains with his classmates.

After one of their classes, Aizawa gave Bakugou a small list.

“Hey, you should bond more with Akio. Here’s a list of bonding activities for you two. You should do some of them and get acquainted with one another.” Bakugou scoffed and held the letter in his hand, although Aizawa could see Bakugou reading the list as he walked away.

Over the next couple weeks, Bakugou turned Aizawa’s list into a checklist, making sure to try each of the activities that he liked. The first activity on the list was “tactile communication”. Okay, so petting him. Bakugou simply placed a hand on Akio’s forehead, and kept it still not really knowing what to do from here. He doesn’t want to pet him too hard, but petting him too softly would defeat the purpose. Akio simply just looked at Bakugou, just happy to be involved. Grumbling, he took out his phone and sat on the floor, opting to research how to properly pet an animal.

After what felt like hours of research, Bakugou decided to try petting Akio’s side, and Akio clearly liked it, his tail starting to wag. He kept a firm hand, and mirrored his movements on the opposite side, with Akio’s tail starting to speed up at the motion. He doesn’t know how long the two of them stayed like this, but when Bakugou finished, Akio licked his hand and gave him a look that he can akin to adoration. Smiling softly, Bakugou lifted Akio onto his lap, where the dog curled up, slumber soon taking him. The two of them stayed like this for a while, with Bakugou mindlessly looking through his phone, and for the first time in a long time, he finally felt normal.

The next activity listed was Movie Night. The common room was empty, and so Bakugou had the full intent of taking advantage of that. Grabbing a bowl of air popped popcorn, he sat and put on a comedy, wanting to focus on more lighthearted movie subjects for now. The fear of an action movie setting him off is non-zero, and he’s not taking that chance. And he could use the fluff of the comedy to distract him from the chaos that is his current situation. As the movie played, Akio was more focused on Bakugou than the movie itself, and the boy couldn’t help but send a small smile towards the dog when they made eye contact, before giving him a small piece of popcorn. He double and triple checked to make sure that dogs could eat popcorn, and since he air popped them himself, they should be good, although it should be in moderation like most indulgences.

It became a nightly ritual, with this becoming how Bakugou would wind down after the school day. Within days word got out about Bakugou's addition to his routine, and it started with Mina silently plopping herself next to him one night and him letting out a huff just to acknowledge her presence. The next night, it was Sero popping in alongside Mina. Then it was Jirou, then Shinsou, and then Kirishima. Bakugou put up a big show about how they're impeding on his alone time, but he can't lie to himself, knowing he missed them. His isolation is self inflicted, but it's all he knew. Growing up, whenever he was going through it emotionally, he always went into his room and worked out his emotions alone. He internalized everything, letting all of his negative emotions fester until they were too much to handle. He was a shaken soda bottle ready to pop almost always, and sometimes he did pop, lashing out at the people he was closest to.

Bakugou looked at the next item on his list, communal eating. It started with Bakugou putting out Akio’s dinner at the same time, and eating on the floor beside him. Akio clearly enjoyed it, looking at Bakugou with pure adoration in his eyes. It then developed into Bakugou making food with the intent of sharing pieces of it with Akio. The dog was more than excited to share, and Bakugou found Akio extremely adorable in the joy clear in the dog's face, and he honestly could get used to this.

Bakugou also took Akio out on his daily runs. Akio easily kept pace with the explosive hero, and Bakugou was extremely proud that Akio could keep up. After all, if his name means hero, it would also mean that he should be able to keep up with the future number 1 hero, right? It was so weird for his friends to see Bakugou smiling so softly at the dog every time he would come back from his run. Mina swears that she saw Bakugou kiss the dog once, although no one believes her.

Bakugou also tries talking to Akio and it was so awkward at first. He would talk to Akio like he was one of his classmates. He was speaking in complex sentences, like he could understand. He swore up and down that he could, but no one cared. He scolded anyone who would baby talk at Akio.

"He's not a fucking dumbass. Don't talk to him like he's stupid," he would always yell. No one would never listen, and he would threaten to take away dog petting privilege, which was always an effective punishment.

One morning, as Bakugou made his way to class, Aizawa stopped him.

"Bakugou, you're gonna be meeting with your therapist during first period. I'll stay with you after the end of the day so I can catch you up with what you missed," Aizawa said, placing a gentle hand on Bakugou's shoulder. Bakugou nodded and Aizawa walked him to a little office in the corner. "This is my office. They're an external therapist, because this isn't something the school social worker is equipped to deal with at their own admission. I'll cover the cost so see them as many times as you need." Bakugou walked in as Aizawa opened the door, and he saw a woman almost staring into his soul.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Takami, and I'll be your therapist. I specialize in PTSD, especially in heroes and children. Mr. Aizawa reached out to me and gave me the general jist of the circumstances, but I would like to understand more from you." She sat down behind a small desk, and gestured to a chair sitting across from her. Bakugou say down and stared at her warily. Aizawa left them and it was a tense silence until Dr. Takami spoke.

"I know you don't know me, but I want to help you. We can work on building trust over time, but I need you to open up to me so I can get you the help you need." Bakugou sighed and crossed his arms, scooting closer to Dr. Takami. "Let's start with something simple. How is your emotional support dog doing?"

"He's alright. Clingy as all hell. But he's a spit fire. He likes to bark at people who get too close, mainly because they try to pet him. He snarls and bares his teeth, but always softens around me." Dr. Takami raised an eyebrow. "I hate people in my personal space. I only let my friends hug me or stay close to me. Akio makes it so I don't have to say no to people. He hasn't attacked anyone and is nice to my friends so it's all good."

"And your sleep?"

"Better. The nightmares come, but Akio makes them easier to deal with."

"How are you coping without Akio? He's not meant to be the only way of dealing with your trauma," Dr. Takami said, leaning forward. Bakugou coughed and scratched his head. "Okay. So looks like we have to go through coping mechanisms. From what I can tell, your big thing is reliving the moment, so let's focus on grounding." Dr. Takami took Bakugou through a simple exercise, doing a countdown with each sense. She also took him through breathing exercises. "Akio is there to help. Just don't use him as your only form of coping, okay?" Bakugou nodded. "Well, here's a good point to stop. We'll be meeting weekly, unless you want to meet more frequently. Practice the exercises to get used to them, and memorize them. I know that you may not remember it in the heat of the moment, but it's better to know it and just forget it in that instance than to not have it at all. I would also suggest you have some trusted friends and adults aware of these so that they can walk you through it during an episode. I'll send this to your school email so you can send it to whoever you'd like." Bakugou nodded and Dr. Takami sent out an email to Bakugou. He quickly sent it to Kirishima, Mina, Sero, Shinsou and Aizawa.

"Okay, so, with that out of the way, how to do want me to help you," she asked.

"What do you mean," Bakugou huffed out.

"Do you want advice or just a shoulder to cry on in silence? I can also just listen to your pain. I ask this at the top of my sessions."

"Oh, uh, I guess advice." Dr. Takami nodded.

"Feel free at any point to 'switch modes', such as switching to a shoulder to cry on. This is your session. Customize it as you see fit." Bakugou stared at the doctor. Maybe this can be a safe space for him.

"Well, uh, does this whole thing get any easier," he asked.

"Kind of. Trauma is a fickle thing. Some people heal so well it's like the trauma never happened. Some people get worse as time passed. The status of your mental health isn't linear. Even those who I mentioned who fully 'healed' could go right back to square one, or even get worse. So don't focus on that aspect of healing. Focus on you. Acknowledge you'll have set backs and aim to overcome them. And as for therapy being easy, it never it. Right now, I'm some random stranger to you. Even when we start to become familiar with each other, it's still going to be hard for you to open up to me at times. And that's okay. This 'relationship' between us as a therapist and patient is going to have growing pains. But that's something the both of us can get through together." Bakugou nodded as she spoke. She gave a brief pause, before pulling out a notebook. "Try Journaling. Write down your emotions, whatever is plaguing your mind and reflect on it once a week." He took the note book, and the bell rang, signing the end of the session. Both he and Dr. Takami stood up, and she extended a hand to him. He shook it firmly and they both made their way out of the office to continue their day.

That weekend, the group all settled in Bakugou's room, papers in hand.

"I'll just do the breathing exercises. Shitty Hair, you start." Kirishima cleared his throat.

"Okay. I'll do the 4, 7, 8 one," Bakugou nodded and kept eye contact with the redhead. "So breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and breathe out for 8. In for 4, hold for 7, out for 8. Got it?" Bakugou nodded. "Okay, so let's start. Breathe in 1, 2, 3, 4." Bakugou inhaled with each count. "Hold 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7." Bakugou held his breath in time with Kirishima's count. "Out, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8." Bakugou exhaled, closing his eyes. Kirishima repeated the exercise over and over again, Bakugou getting into the swing of things. "Alright! Nice job Baku-bro!!! Keep it up!" Kirishima's smile rivaled the sun, and Bakugou won't say it aloud, but he was so lucky to have Kirishima in his life. Kirishima was his rock throughout everything. He's scared to think about how he would have gotten through all of the chaos that is now his life without having Kirishima by his side. Don't get him wrong, everyone else was also huge in his healing, but it was Kirishima who was there when Bakugou first had nightmares, who slept in his room and held his hand that first night. Kirishima is invaluable, and truly irreplaceable to him.

That same night, Bakugou opened his journal and knew what his first entry would be.

Dear Pikachu,

Hey, it's been too long. God, I miss you every minute of every day. It's been so weird with you gone. Nothing is the same. The movies we watched aren't the same, the foods we ate aren't the same, I tried to eat one of your favorite snacks, and it tasted like sand in my mouth. I couldn't even swallow it.

I find myself asking why. Why were you taken from us? I know it isn't my fault, or at least that's what everyone says, but I still wish I could have saved you. What's the point of being a hero if I can't even save the people closest to me? I almost gave up on being a hero, but I know you would absolutely beat my ass if I did. Mina already threatened to do so.

I hope you're at peace. Not even for my conscious, or to alleviate guilt, but because you're a good person Denki. Honestly, anyone who interacts with me regularly outside of mandated periods of time deserve a lot of good things. I'm not the easiest to work with, I know this. But you all were patient enough to get past my walls I so carefully created with ease.

Oh, by the way, I started therapy. The doctor seemed alright. She recommended I start the journal, and I wanted to start it off with something "nice and pleasant" so I can come back to it when I have a really bad time.

I fucking miss you Denki. I'll see you some day.

One afternoon, Aizawa got an email summoning him to Nezu's office, and as he walked in, he could tell the air was tense.

"You need to stop emailing the commission." Aizawa stared at Nezu incredulously.

"We're letting kids die," Aizawa spat out.

"There's nothing I can do! You think I enjoy having to deal with the work it takes to hide the deaths? That I have to constantly lie to parents about how their child died? There's a reason there's a high turnover rate for the principal role. It drains you. That we have to downplay the deaths so the school’s optics are safe-"

"Fuck the school’s optics," Aizawa screamed out. "Denki was a great kid! He didn’t have to die and both of us know it. The defenses around the school haven't been updated or even fixed since we used the school as a stronghold. If we updated the school's security system, he would still be alive." Nezu sighed.

"Aizawa. I want to fix it. I really do. But I can't do anything without the commission's permission."

"Nezu, we both know that the commission won't do a thing to protect these kids. They've failed time and time again. What will it take for them to actually start caring?"

"I don't know. I've begged and I've pleaded with them to do something. I had to frame the dorms as a good PR move before they made them in the first place. I hate that I can't do anything, but I'd much rather it be me who will try and find ways to make the school at least a little safer than a 'yes' man who doesn't care whether the kids live or die being in direct control of their safety. I'm livid that I have to say this, but I'm the lesser evil here." Nezu was right. If someone directly from the commission was in charge, they would only see the kids as numbers, and dollar signs rather than actual human beings. He's seen how much Nezu cares for these kids, holding meeting after meeting to ensure their safety on the staff side of things. If the commission can't put in effort to protect the kids, Nezu made sure that the teachers and staff did. Aizawa sighed, shaking his head.

"I'm tired of this Nezu. It needs to stop."

"I know. I'm tired too. But the only way the commission will care is if their wallets start to hurt. And unless some huge scandal comes out, I doubt we'll see that," Nezu sighed. "But please stop emailing them. They're slowly looking to fire you, and I really don't want to see you go. I need you here with me. There's only so much fighting I can do for you, but play it safe, alright?" Aizawa scowled at Nezu's request before walking out of the room. If a scandal is what it takes for the commission to take care of the kids, he'll give them one they'll never recover from.

One night, Bakugou was in the kitchen when he heard the “Breaking News” jingle sound from the TV in the common room. Bakugou turned to turn off the television, grumbling about people leaving the TV on when he saw the tag line. “UA Covers Student Fatalities.” Bakugou turned up the volume, sitting on the couch. Akio hopped up on the couch, before settling down on Bakugou's lap. The small dog curled up but stared intensely at the young hero, sensing the anxiety and anger creeping through the young hero.

“An anonymous source has exposed a bombshell to numerous media platforms, stating that UA has been lying about how many students have died under their care, as well as their lack of protections for interning students. Several students have died, but the most recent has been Denki Kaminari, who died due to a villain infiltrating the school’s training ground. This isn’t the first time villains have infiltrated UA’s grounds, Denki belonging to the same class that was attacked at the USJ arena, as well as during their training camp, where his best friend Bakugou Katsuki was famously kidnapped by the League of Villains. How many kids have died to UA’s incompetence, and how many more will die before they finally take action,” the anchor said, and Bakugou felt his breath ripped from his chest. Bakugou was filled with grief before he was filled with a righteous fury. He banged on the door of every single classmate, going floor by floor until he gathered everyone into one room. Akio trotted alongside Bakugou, peering up at him periodically.

“Look up UA on your phones. Right now,” he growled out. He didn’t even want to wait for them to ask questions, but confused whispers turned into stunned silence. “People keep telling me that it wasn’t my fault, it was the villains, but now it’s the school’s fault. After we kept getting attacked on our grounds, you would think that they would have more protections in place to make sure it never happens again, but they didn’t. Denki didn’t have to fucking die! He didn’t have to be fucking crushed in a villain attack if the school had actually bolstered the defenses around the training grounds. How many teachers knew? How many of them knew that students were dying and said nothing,” he yelled. He was fuming, his chest rising and falling rapidly while his eyes were wild. Aizawa walked in, and walked right up to Bakugou. Before Bakugou could yell, Aizawa leaned in next to his ear.

“I was the anonymous source. I can’t explain here on campus, but I was tired of watching this all happen. I would like all of us to meet elsewhere so I can explain everything,” Aizawa whispered, and he stood back up before Bakugou mouthed the words “my house.” If Aizawa wanted to be discrete, there was something up. Was the school listening to them? Was he not safe? Bakugou knew that everyone had to leave, the school would be on high alert soon, with parents coming in to take their kids out of the school. He wouldn’t be surprised if there were already parents here. Bakugou walked over to Kirishima.

“Everyone needs to come back to my house. Leave in groups from different exits. The school is maybe watching us. Make sure to inform everyone and only the group with me can tell people we’re going to my house. Everyone else needs to make up their own excuses,” he whispered into his friend’s ear. He knew it was a mouthful, but as long as they understood “Come to my house, and tell no one,” nothing else mattered. He moved to whisper into Mina’s ear, then to Shinsou, Sero, Jirou, Deku and Todoroki. Before long, the entire class knew the game plan. Bakugou moved out first with Sero, Mina, Kirishima, Jirou and Shinsou in tow. They were stopped by a staff member, but when asked about where they were going, he simply said was going home, and they were coming along at his mother’s request. It wasn’t the first time that she invited his friends over, so his excuse was plausible. They were able to make their way off campus, taking the bus home. Bakugou wore a face mask, knowing that his face is probably plastered everywhere.

After they got off, they walked through busy streets, UA on everyone’s tongues. Bakugou drowned them out, focusing on making it back home. His friends were silent, dread weighing them down. Bakugou would alway be heavy with sorrow if he wasn’t so filled with anger. He needed to get to the bottom of this.

As Aizawa made his way to Bakugou’s house, all he could think of was the oath he took to himself when he first became a teacher. He took an oath to protect thr children. He swore that he would happily die if it meant his students were alive. Oboro's death really changed him. He never wanted to see any kid go through any like that. But he's constantly reminded of his failure when he constantly had to deal with parents who were asking about their child and if there were any updates regarding their "missing" child. It's so easy for him to be swallowed whole by the negative emotions these feelings invoke. But he can't fail his kids again, not anymore.

As he arrived at his house, he saw his mother waiting at the door. “Your teacher is here. What the fuck is going on Katsuki,” she spat out. She wasn’t angry at him, but at the situation in her lap. She entrusted her kid to UA, and they hurt her son so bad she doesn’t know if he’ll be okay ever again. Bakugou walked past his mother, not wanting to deal with her anger and heads right to Aizawa who's sitting on the couch.

“The rest of the class is gonna be here soon. What you have to say better be real fucking good to make up for what you’ve done,” Bakugou said, venom dripping with every word. Aizawa knew that he deserved all the anger his students felt towards him, and maybe even more.

After all the students filed in, Bakugou requested Momo create a Signal Jammer, with the intent of it blocking out any bugs on their phones. After they confirmed it was active, Aizawa started speaking. "As I told Bakugou, I'm the anonymous source. I was the one who told the press about the school.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair before continuing. “I became a teacher because I didn’t want Oboro to happen again. I wanted to protect students and make sure that students didn’t die. But then I found out that kids die at UA more than any other school, and I’ve been fighting them for years to get better regulations to protect the kids, so I stayed to protect them the best I can. But to see Denki die, and see you all in pain was the straw that broke the camel's back. I'm tired of comforting parents and then knowing there's only a matter of time before the next set of parents have to come. I’m tired. I’m tired of fighting the school to protect our kids only to be ignored. I’ve seen principal after principal come in, then leave because the weight of the wrongs they see are too heavy to continue to carry, and so they leave. Even with Nezu, the light in his eyes I saw when he first came is now gone. So it definitely comes from higher up, although I don’t know how high up this goes. But I want to make sure that you kids know the truth. I want to finally make sure that Oboro or Denki never happens again.” Aizawa gets on his knees and fully bows in front of the class. “I’m so sorry I failed you, as a hero, as an adult, as a teacher, and as a mentor.” Bakugou walked over to Aizawa and helped him stand up.

“You didn’t fail us. You fought to protect us, and put your job at risk to make sure that we get protected moving forward. You’re the only one who didn’t fail us,” Bakugou said, and Aizawa gave him a wet smile. Mina walked over to him and hugged him, Kirishima following suit. Slowly more and more of the class hugged him, sniffles bouncing through the pile. Bakugou was the last one to join the pile. It took a bit, but the class finally broke away.

“You all should go home. UA is going to be an ugly sight in the morning, between the parents pulling their kids out, bereaved family members who just found out their kid's death was preventable, and the press. I don’t want you all to have cameras in the face while you’re trying to study, or while your parents are unenrolling you. Stay safe, and lay low for a bit. It’s truly been an honor to be your teacher, and whether or not you stay, I am so proud of the people each of you became. I wish you all the best in life,” Aizawa said before leaving. Everyone looked at each other, trying to decompress and process the information, and Bakugou’s mother offered the floor to everyone, but Momo offered her home instead, since there’s a lot more space for everyone to sleep as well as her butler being more than capable to cook a meal for 20-something people. She sent a text, and within the hour, a small bus pulled up in front of the Bakugou home, the class piling in. Sero, Mina, Shinsou, Jirou and Kirishima stayed behind, choosing to sleep over at Bakugou’s place.

Before they knew it, the morning came, and Bakugou turned on the news to see a massive crowd of people swarming in front of the school. The newscasters were picking up the angry yells coming from the crowd. There was a visible line of parents who were waiting to get in, and Bakugou could only laugh seeing the school face the consequences of their actions. The newscaster mentioned the school has a planned press conference. He wondered what sad excuses the school would make to try and salvage their relationship with the public. Whatever it would be, there’s no way it would make up for the lives they’ve ruined. He changed the channel to see a pair of familiar faces on the screen.

“Denki didn’t have to die! Our baby didn’t have to die! We didn’t have to cremate our only child but we had to due to the school’s incompetence! We lost a piece of ourselves, but know this could have been prevented, that our son could still be here with us if it wasn’t for the school’s incompetence makes me furious,” Denki’s mother said. Her voice was shaking with anger, her face red with anger. Her husband rubbed her back reassuringly, and he may seem calm but Bakugou could easily spot the rage swimming behind his eyes.

"The school isn't going to fucking get away with this," Bakugou hissed. A hand landed on his shoulder, and he turned to be face to face with Kirishima. Kirishima had a look of pure anger on his face.

"We're gonna make sure they pay for this. All of us," he said, and confirmations sounded around the room.

Meanwhile at UA, Nezu pulled Aizawa to the side before they were set to go on stage for the press conference.

"I hope you're happy with your choice." Aizawa raised an eyebrow at Nezu's words.

"What are you talking about?"

"Your decision in going rogue will have consequences, and ones you won't like. So I hope it's worth it." Aizawa didn't detect any malice in Nezu's words. "It's been an honor working with you."

"You're leaving?" Aizawa was in shock.

"They needed a scapegoat. They don't know the leak, so it'll fall to me as the principal. At least I no longer have to shoulder the burden of being unable to save the kids."

"Do you think this'll be enough to get the commission to step up?"

"This alone? No. But I fully believe that Bakugou and his friends will be the driving force to make that change."

"But they're just kids, that's a lot to put on them," Aizawa sighed out.

"I know. But we as adults were never able to make a difference so maybe hearing it from Bakugou will be the fire under them that causes them to move. That boy was made for TV you know. He's loud and in your face. His natural personality would be enough to make sure that the commission won't be able to live it down as long as he's vocal." Aizawa sighed. "I really do hope this is enough. Good luck Aizawa. Lay low, and stay safe."

"And what about you Nezu?" Nezu chuckled.

"Thanks for the concern friend, but I'll be fine. I'll be in hiding for a while till the heat slightly dies down, and I'll move out of the country and start fresh." Nezu stuck out his hand and Aizawa shook it. "See you again some day." The both of them moved to the stage, where they were blinded by lights from camera flashes. Aizawa didn't even sit down, standing behind the chair with a placard with his name engraved into it positioned on the table right in front of it. Nezu sat down and looked forward.

"I'm here regarding the allegations regarding UA's lack of protection for our students. I firstly want to apologize for the pain my negligence has caused both directly and indirectly. You as parents trusted my staff and I to protect your children and keep them safe while they were enrolled into our school, and on our grounds, and I failed. The kids deserve better, which is why I'm stepping down." A cacophony of questions filled the room and he internally sighed. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to making this announcement, but the pressure from the higher-ups left him no choice. He was the fall guy, the scapegoat, and he hates this. The conversation he had earlier replayed his mind.

"Nezu. I'm sorry, but we need you to resign," a feminine voice stated on the phone. He was stunned, his brain trying to process this information. He looked around his office, thinking that this will be the last time he'll be sitting at his desk.

"Madame President, what are you talking about?"

"With you taking the fall, the focus and heat on us will shift to you, and the anger towards us will eventually fade away. It's sad that you have to take the blame, but it's for the greater good." The greater good of their wallet. "We'll compensate you handsomely, and help you in hiding til the heat dies down, and moving you out of the country with a new identity so you can restart." Nezu sighed. It's not like he has a choice. He knows what the commission will do if he goes against them, and he very much would like to live.

"Okay. I'll resign during the press conference."

"Thank you Nezu, it's been a pleasure working with you, and good luck moving forward." The phone call ended and he placed his hands into his palms before quietly sobbing.

Nezu left without taking questions, his obligation to the school and the commission done and over with.

What happened to him? He's an educator who was focused on his kids, and allowing them to thrive. When he got the offer at UA, he was excited to start working with the school. It was a dream come true, although the dream easily became a nightmare. He was told to either help them hide the deaths, or quit, and he couldn’t imagine quitting. The system failed these kids, and Nezu wanted to help the kids no longer be victimized by the system wherever he could. One of these days, this blatant disregard for student safety will stop. It has to.

As he went backstage, Bakugou stood there, staring him down.

"Aizawa told me you tried to fix things," he said gruffly.

"Yes I did. I begged the financial department to fix things, but I was always told it's not in the budget. I'm tired of kids getting hurt and dying all the time. You're kids! You have your whole lives ahead of you, and it's getting exhausting constantly seeing it happen and feeling powerless to stop it."

"Thank you for sticking up for us Nezu." Nezu gave Bakugou a soft smile. It took load off his chest that Bakugou didn't hate his guts like most of his kids did. He's taking the fall for something that he actively tried to stop and is powerless to defend himself or his kids.

"You're a strong and smart kid. You can make sure this never happens again." These were his final words to his final student, walking out of the venue. The commission can fucking rot for all he cares. They deserve the reckoning that's coming, and do much more. Nezu can't wait to watch them burn.

Back in the venue, Aizawa walks up to Bakugou and pats him on the back.

"The backstage area isn't bugged. I checked numerous times," Aizawa said, moving to sit on the floor. "I hope you're ready for the storm that's coming. I know I'm not." Bakugou sat down next to his ex-teacher.

"I have good people on my side, so I'll be okay." Aizawa nodded, and they both sat there in a comfortable silence for a while, until Bakugou stood up. "I'll see you around."

From that day on, Bakugou was scheduling press conferences on top of media appearances, the fire in his heart burning brighter than ever. The commission felt the heat, and needed to do something and fast before they burn from the intensity.

At a morning talk show, Bakugou hyped himself up in the green room. The usual suspects were all gathered there, drowning him with encouragement.

"Baku-bro, I'll be on the sidelines with Akio in case you need us. Answer whatever questions you feel comfortable answering. If they ask you something that you don't wanna answer, don't. Tell them to move on, give them a dumb answer, whatever you want," Kirishima said, patting him on his back and smiling brightly. Bakugou scoffed and gave him a smirk.

"Go give 'em hell," Mina cheered. Bakugou walked out and got set up with his mic. He was ushered out to the stage the sound of cheering, it getting louder with each step he took. As he stood on the stage, the host tried to hug him, but Bakugou backed away, forcefully sticking his hand out for a handshake. When will these hosts learn not to touch him? The host shook his hand, and they broke to sit on their chairs.

"Hi Bakugou, it's nice to have you here," the host cheerily stated.

"Thank you for having me."

"You've been real busy lately, with this huge press tour," the host said, giving a sickly sweet smile. Bakugou could sense the malice behind it. She was so prim and proper, her nails clearly expensive, and her outfit was easily the cost of numerous houses. Her hair was perfectly coiled and she looked like a doll, and it sickened him.

"Yeah, well, I want to keep the incident with UA fresh in people's minds. We can't afford to forget it. We forget it and their deaths will mean nothing. Everything will continue as 'normal' and kids will go back to dying needlessly."

"So you're saying that it's all UA's fault," the host asked, clearly asking for clarification.

"Yes. Even in the case of Denki, where he was killed by a villain, it's still partially UAs fault because the villain wouldn't haven't been able to get on the campus if UA's security wasn't lacking."

"So if it was partially UA's fault for Denki's death, isn't it also your fault," the host asked, and Bakugou's blood ran cold. The crowd let out a soft "oooh" in response..

"What," Bakugou choked out, his heart rate starting to spike.

"Well, you're blaming UA. But you could have pushed the rubble out of the way. So isn't Denki’s death partially your fault," the host observed. Bakugou started to shake, and Kirishima ran onto the stage, placing Akio on his friend's lap. Bakugou started to hyperventilate and Kirishima took him through breathing exercises, simultaneously ripping off Bakugou's mic and throwing it to the side. The audience was dead silent, and the host looked awkward as they watched the scene unfold in front of her. The rest of the friend group ran out and surrounded Bakugou, to hide his breakdown from everyone's view. Mina stomped over to the host.

"How dare you! Do you know what you're saying?! Bakugou has been through hell and back! You don't think Bakugou hasn't blamed himself this whole time?! You sit here as a whole adult saying something like that to a child who witnessed their own friend died?!" The crowd murmured and started to boo, and the host attempted to calm down the audience, but the boos got louder. The group got up and helped Bakugou out of the studio.

After he got home, he got a call from Dr. Takami.

"Hey, how are you feeling right now," she asked.

"Like shit."

"That's understandable with what happened. I'm sorry that happened to you and on live television. I don’t have any appointments, so I can give you a quick session," she suggested.

"That would be great."

"Okay then. I'm glad you're using your exercises. I saw Kirishima went through them with you," she stated.

"Yeah. I appreciated it."

"Well, you understand it isn't your fault, right?"

"Yeah. I think she was paid by the commission to say that."

"What makes you think that," she asked.

"Because this was out of the blue. The commission felt public pressure mounting and they wanted to discredit me to alleviate some of it," he stated.

"Well, I know it had the opposite reaction. The support for you has skyrocketed, people admiring your bravery, and the strength you've shown in the face of all the things you've gone through. But no one is expressing pity, or insinuating you're weak. And I'll reiterate, you're such a strong kid, and you deserve none of the things that have come to you. You should have had a normal and trauma free childhood, but unfortunately not everyone can have that. So just keep your head up, alright?"

They spoke for two hours before she hung up, and once Bakugou was free of her, his mother knocked on his bedroom door.

"Katsuki, I don't really know how yo comfort you, but let me try my best," came from the opposite side of the door. He opened the door to see his mother standing outside. She looked almost sheepish, and rather than question it, he moved to the side and allowed her to enter his room. Moving to sit on his bed, they kept eye contact and sat down next to each other.

"Katsuki, you truly are the best Bakugou. I haven't been the beat mother at all, and I'm ready to acknowledge that. But seeing my baby in pain hurt more than anything else. I want to help. I want to find ways to make you feel more comfortable, because your emotions matter," Mitsuki sighed out. She knew she was lacking as a parent for some time, but her son isn't going to her at all in one of his darkest moments!. He hasn't shown her any emotions in a private setting, shutting her out mentally.

"Your father doesn't know I'm apologizing, but I love you Katsuki. You're my kid. I wanna protect you from all the bad things, even though you're becoming a hero. I want you to be be happy, healthy and secure," she continued, looking at Bakugou with tears in her eyes.

"Would you like you go to family therapy," Bakugou asked, and Mitsuki shook her head.

"Not right now. You have so much on your plate, and I don't wanna impede. Focus of healing yourself, and we'll focus on healing the family when you get to a good and comfortable point in your healing." Bakugou nodded, and Mitsuki stood up. "Please remember that you're loved by not just your father and I. You have a whole found family that you hang out with from your school. We have diy projects you guys can do so you aren't sitting in the house bored." Bakugou rolled his eyes, but smiled at his mother. She thinks this is the first time on a long time she's seen Bakugou smiling genuinely and she wants to do whatever it takes to keep that smile on her son’s face. She walked out, but not without giving Bakugou a small kiss on his forehead, which he grumpily accepted, and they both carried on with their days. Bakugou moved to write in his journal.

Hey Pika,

Today was fucking hard. Some chick on TV was trying to make it look like it was my fault you died. Can you fucking believe that?! It's not fair. She's a grown ass adult trying to bully me!! I think the commission paid her to say this. They want to discredit me and by association my claims, so that the backlash they face is lessened. But no, fuck them. I want them to suffer.

Oh, by the way, I appreciate you coming into my dreams lately. It's been super helpful. It helps me get back to a sense of normalcy. Although if you keep playing pranks, I'll fight you. I mean it.

For the next week, Bakugou was forced to go on a social media cleanse. Mina deleted all of the apps and Bakugou stayed at home, only going out when his friends picked him up.

As for the host? She was fired within an hour of the show's airing, and her show was quickly canceled. She didn't even offer an apology, her social media now silent.

For the next month, Bakugou was still doing his press tour, although it was a lot lighter than before. The questions were now screened, and if they veered off script even once, Bakugou would just leave mid interview.

It was so weird became now his face was plastered everywhere. He was constants getting recognized in public, and at first if was cool, but when he's starting to feel it encroach on his daily life, he's had enough. Rather than be kind to his fans, he would be mean, hoping they would get the hint that they aren't wanted. And it worked, kinda. His mean words and behaviors got so many people to leave him alone, but it also got people to find that behavior endearing. Those people, he thinks, are the worst. He'll tell them to fuck off, and they'll giggle and stay. He doesn’t know how many times he got them arrested for stalking, but it's starting to really get to him. Is what he's doing worth such flagrant disrespect of his personal boundaries and space? Unfortunately. Bakugou’s finds the answer to this is yes. So he holds that mindset close to his chest to remind him why he keeps going.

One morning, Bakugou was awoken to his phone's notifications going off non-stop. He opened his phone to see so many links being sent. He opened one of them to see UA in the news yet again, but for a different reason. He ran to his living room and turned on his TV, changing it to the nearing news channel.

"Thank you for joining us this morning, we have breaking news regarding UA. According to an anonymous source, the Public Safety Hero Commission was the reason behind the lack of safety at UA. Numerous news organizations were handed documents showing that they ignored pleas from high ranking UA staff, including formerly disgraced principal Nezu. With these documents, it looks like the UA staff and faculty were making efforts to protect the children while the Commission did nothing to make sure the kids are safe. We'll keep you updated with new information as we get it." Bakugou stood there in silence as Akio trotted over and rubbed himself against his legs. Bakugou picked the dog up and took him to his room, sobbing into him and holding him firmly.

Meanwhile, Aizawa sat in his office watching the news. His phone rang, and he picked it up, giving a gruff greeting.

"Aizawa, thank you for giving me courage. I wouldn't have done what I did without you. If the fire under them wasn't scalding before, it definitely is now." Aizawa was shocked at the sound of Nezu's voice, but before he could say anything, Nezu hung up. Aizawa sat there, processing.

UA tried to hold a press conference, but there was nothing they could really say to make people trust them again. To Bakugou, this felt like the fall of heroes after the Paranormal Liberation War. It was terrifying, because would society crumble yet again?

Aizawa called Bakugou to inform him of the press conference. The teacher offered Bakugou the chance to speak at his own press conference. Bakugou agreed, calling his friends to join him.

As he sat down at the table for the press conference, he sighed.

"Please keep your trust in the heroes, during this time. None of them knew. It'll be ridiculous for you all to attack heroes and hate them for something that isn't their fault. Direct your anger towards the executives at the commission. They're the bastards that let Denki die," Bakugou stated. The reporters asked questions, and Bakugou answered them briskly.

After the conference, Bakugou made his way home, emotionally drained. A small chirp sounded from his phone and he opened it to see a small text from Dr. Takami expressing her pride in him for going through the press conference.

As he opened his door, a couple of people in suits were waiting on his couch. He counted only three, all sitting on the same couch. Bakugou quickly turned his phone's recorder on, thankful that he had headphones on with an exposed mic.

"Bakugou Katsuki, we applaud you. You managed to turn the public against us. That's not an easy feat," the one in the middle said. So they're the leader, he noted to himself.

"The fuck do you want from me," Bakugou growled out.

"We want you to rescind your statements, and stop your tour of slander."

"Slander?! You all knew what was going on, and did nothing to stop it! In fact, you refused to do anything to stop it. Denki's blood, and every student who died due to your negligence's blood are on your hands. I hope that they haunt your dreams and that none of you find peace again."

"You don't want to get into a media war with us. You'll lose. We have the money, the resources and the connections to absolutely ruin you."

"Look at you, a grown ass adult threatening a kid. Are you and the commission really that scared of my voice? We're already in a media war. You started this when you had that host blame me on TV. But the funny thing is, you're losing the war. So your resources and shit mean nothing to me. But you're welcome to try." The person snarled and stood up, the others getting up.

"You'll regret this Bakugou," they stated.

"So will you." They stormed out of the house, and Mitsuki ran to hug Bakugou.

"You okay," she asked.

"Yeah, I'm just peachy," he spay out.

"We're gonna make sure they don't get away with this. How dare they threaten a child?! How dare they threaten my child? I want to make them regret every aspect of their lives," Mitsuki spat out. Bakugou gave his mother a feral smile.

"Of course, we'll give them hell. We're the Bakugous after all." Mitsuki’s grin resembled that of her son's afterhisstatement. .

"We'll make them regret it," Mitsuki spat out.

And regret it they did. Bakugou sent the recording to as many news stations as he possibly could. The news spread like wildfire. Protests sparked all over Japan, calling for the dissolution of the commission. By the end of the day, numerous high ranking officials had resigned, hitting about 16. By the end of the week, that number hit 80, including all of the chief officers. Pride filled his chest seeing these numbers. Bakugou knew this was only the start.

For months the commission's leadership was constantly changing, and after 6 months, the commission was fully disbanded, the hero rankings not mattering as much, simply devolving into a popularity contest. There were so many things to be said about that, but no really cared, the rankings turned into beauty pagent. UA's leadership also took a huge turn as well, hiring a team dedicated to student safety, hiring teachers and high ranking officers to make sure students are safe and protected. Countless amounts of funding that was liquidated from the now defunct commission was sent to UA for the upgrading and repairing of their security system.

Not before long, the school year started again, and Bakugou sat in the wings of a stage in front of UA. The class of 3-A stood around him. He was due to give a speech shortly, but opted to write a journal entry.

Hey Denks,

God this has all been a lot. We're in our 3rd year, and there's little changes in so many aspects of our lives. The school put a bunch of charging stations around the campus and called them "Chargebolt stations". Corny, I know. But it's hysterical, and you would have loved to see it.

UA looks super pretty now. They spent I don’t even know how much on renovations. The new administration said "no one has to die again" and meant it, and that's a relief. The new administration genuinely cares about student safety and well-being. They hired a bunch of therapists too, so that they could help students adjust to the massive changes that happened.

For me, I'm still the same Bakugou. I really do think you and Akio would get along well. He seems to like bothering me the same way you did, late at night. But I can sleep at night comfortably because of him.

Your parents constantly drop by my place to check on me. Our parents are now really good friends with each other, going out almost bi-daily. It's fucking weird, not gonna lie, but its also nice. It feels like a part of you is here with me also complaining about it.

Right now, I'm waiting to give a speech at the grand reopening of UA. I told you I did all those press tours, and people are saying that the renovations are because of me, so they tagged me to give the opening remarks. But to be honest, it's not fully my work. Kirishima, Mina, Sero, and Shinsou also helped me out greatly. But the biggest factor is you. I know you're cheering for me and that's what keeps me going. I imagine you're giving me an encouraging speech when I want to give up, and giving me that kind words that I needed. You're truly amazing Denks.

Bakugou closed his journal and moved to when the exit, hyping himself up for the speech. Akio is beside him, also excited, although it more because he got a new leash. His name is called, and he walks up the podium..

"Thank you for showing up. It took so much to get to this point, but I'm glad we're here. UA is safer, and we can make sure that Denki's death serves as a lesson in student safety. I pushed for this change, but if it wasn’t for the amazing people I get to call my friends,I wouldn't have gotten as far as I did. Their words of encouragement did more for me than they could ever know. It's a lot for us to have gone through, but for all of us involved, we have nowhere to go but up," he spoke into the podium. It's so weird when he has to sound well spoken, and not aggressive because people wouldn't want to listen to him and his message if he spoke and behave like he normally did. He felt a couple hands snake around him, and he turned to see Denki's parents behind him, holding him tightly. His own parents joined in the hug, and it quickly devolved into a cuddle puddle with Mina and the others also joining the group hug. It almost felt suffocating, but he didn't mind at all, focused on the feeling of his friends and family all together. The bright sun shone down on him, and in its warmth, he felt like Denki was hugging him, comforting him, and for the first time in a long time, Bakugou finally felt like everything would be alright.

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