Chapter 12 of AINE is finally here🤍
Thank you for your patience and understanding, finishing this was difficult I can’t downplay that but everyone’s lovely messages and encouragement helped me push through.
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Almost, almost is never enough
So close to being in love
If I would have known that you wanted me
The way I wanted you
Then maybe we wouldn't be two worlds apart
But right here in each other's arms
And we almost, we almost knew what love was
But almost is never enough
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Hoje ele faz 9 anos... e eu esperei 2 anos por ele, o Debut da Ariana Grande, Yours Truly.
Eu estava no terceiro ano do ensino médio e esse álbum me acompanhou até o cursinho.
FAIXAS
Honeymoon Avenue foi um choque pra mim porque ela sempre performou de forma rápida, e o instrumental de violino (?) é fantástico.
Baby I eu fiquei muito fissurada com o clipe, comprei até um macacão por causa dele. No cursinho eu me imaginava dançando ela na escola, porque o pessoal estava ensaiando uma música da Ke$ha.
Tattoed Heart: ahhhh minha adolescência... essa música era tudo.
Piano: uma das minhas favoritas até hoje.
The Way feat. Mac Miller: eu vivi o crescimento dela, lembro da foto da Ariana na escada depois que ficou em #1 no iTunes. Acho que por ter tocado tanto saturou pra mim, mas hoje, ao ouvir novamente, me veio um vazio e uma tristeza, por saber que ele se foi, pois penso muito nela e o quanto ela sofreu com a morte dele.
You’ll Never Know é aquela música que quando eu era mais nova eu ouvia de boa, mas ela foi crescendo demais em mim, é minha favorita não-single.
Almost Is Never Enough feat. Nathan Sykes eu acho incrível ter quase 6 minutos e ela passar tão rápido.
Popular Song é minha outra favorita.
CHARTS
Spotify: 1 (kkkkkk talvez porque eu ouvi tanto quando lançou que passei uns 3 anos sem ouvir)
Lastfm: 61
MÍDIA FÍSICA
Tiragem: AM500
Local: UMusic Store (site)
Data: Dez/2020
Valor: R$32,90+7,62
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22765463
I suddenly thought about her smile,
which made me stop for a while.
Trying to look back in time,
when she was almost mine.
I suddenly remembered her laughter,
how the sound made my heart flutter.
Her presence made my heart beat faster,
never meant to have a happily ever after.
Her beautiful face that I can't forget,
a lot of choices that made me regret.
But not the first time we met,
a talk over a lit-up cigarette.
The sweetest and most painful love,
for she was almost mine to have.
As the song goes almost is never enough,
Damn! A love that was definitely rough.
A huge part of me died,
as I started to run and hide.
I swear darling I tried!
To finally say goodbye.
Our love is nothing but memories,
a part of the past that could be in stories.
Kept on a special bookshelf for centuries.
A story that'd be considered as a masterpiece.
I am definitely still in love with her,
but I now know that she is much happier.
She already has her happily ever after,
Farewell, I am no longer your lover.
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Mengapa kata hampir tidak pernah terasa cukup?
“Dia hampir saja menikah.”
“Mereka hampir punya anak.”
“Dia hampir saja bisa membeli rumah.”
“Dia hampir saja naik jabatan.”
“Acara itu hampir saja sukses besar.”
“Perusahaan itu hampir saja mendapat proyek besar.”
“Aku hampir saja mendapat tiket konser itu.”
“Dia hampir lolos seleksi.”
“Dia hampir saja melanjutkan studi.”
Rasanya tak asing mendengar kalimat-kalimat di atas dalam keseharian, pun seringkali disusul kata ‘andai’ setelahnya, atau kata lain yang memiliki makna serupa, seperti kalau saja, jika saja dan jikalau. Seakan kalimat “andai…” harus ditemukan agar otak mampu memproses kejadian. Tanpa sadar, kalimat di atas menyebabkan manusia semakin dalam terjebak dalam fase bargaining. Mencari-cari penyebab atas kata ‘hampir’ yang lekat dengan makna kegagalan, kehilangan, penolakan atau kedukaan. Mengubah-ubah skenario masa lalu dalam pikirannya, bermain di alam yang jauh dari realita.
“Aku hampir saja lolos seleksi, andai saja aku bisa lebih lancar berbicara bahasa inggris.”
“Mungkin kalau aku tahu seperti ini jadinya, aku lebih rajin belajar ngomong bahasa inggris.”
“Mungkin kalau aku melakukan ‘ini’, aku bakal lolos atau paling tidak aku melakukan ‘itu’ mungkin saja nilaiku lebih tinggi dari yang lain.”
”Coba kalau aku begini dan begitu.”
“Kenapa ya aku kemarin tidak melakukan ini dan itu?”
Mungkin ini itu, coba begini begitu, kenapa tidak ini, kenapa tidak itu, sungguh berulang tiada kunjung habisnya.
Kalimat-kalimat pertanyaan yang menjuruskan manusia menetap dalam lingkaran bargaining dan depresi, tak ayal mereka berharap bisa kembali ke masa lalu dan mengubah sejarah, namun sayangnya waktu tidak memiliki daya putar balik, sekeras apapun manusia mencoba.
Kata hampir atas kemenangan, keselamatan dan kebahagiaan menjadi kalimat yang begitu menyedihkan, bukan hanya tentang penerimaan terhadap kepahitan realita, tetapi juga harus dikuburnya impian, bayangan dan harapan.
Untukmu, momen ‘hampir’ apa yang begitu disesalkan?
Jika yang lalu, tidak bisa diubah. Mengapa memilih memenjarakan diri sendiri?
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FINALLY
The chapter is here it only took me forever (someone stop these chapters being so stupid long). Be aware this chapter is very explicit so be careful !!
Also I had to reupload this chapter bc it wasn’t on the first page even though I made the draft past midnight. So if you left a comment on the original version I’ve lost it 😭😭 sorry!
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