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the-desilittle-bird · 1 year

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Author's Note- My first Jasper story and gods! Do I love him? He really made me start writing up, not that the story was posted online but yet. Any way.

Requests are always open and well appreciated.

Thank you and Enjoy your reading!

Under the Moon

Jasper Hale x Reader

Summary- New life and new ways of living is overwhelming but Jasper is there...

Tag List- @chevelledahuman, @savagemickey03, @muushwrites, @chaotic-fangirl-blog, @nyx2021, @bi2simps, @thatgirlthatreadswattpad, @shit, @b-tchymoon, @instabul, @hukio, @carissa_griffin7777, @whotfatemywaffles, @dontdisturbme8, @mayumibeauty, @hermosa4285, @newt-scamander-is-hot-af, @andlizeth, @michelle-26, @a1icebxby, @5moremin, @storiesmaker6, @hc-geralt-23, @simpforfictionalmen, @ultrav0lence, @blackbluerose

Warnings- Mentions of R*pe, Blood Thirst, Blood

GIF Credits to @damonsvftie

The strong smell of copper drew Jasper to the highway connecting Forks to Seattle. The rain had stopped and left the forest green and the soil wet, puddles visible here and there.

Carlisle followed him closely, humming a tune while his eyes took in the silent atmosphere. The light sound of leaves rustling or the soft breathing of the sleeping animals echoing in their ears.

And in between them, was a shallow breath. As if the person bleeding couldn't breath properly, from an injury or a weight on the chest. The thumping of heartbeat slowing down when they reached the highway.

Near the side laid a body, almost lifeless with clothes torn apart to pieces. Blood covered her skin and formed a puddle beneath her form. Chest heaving but gaining no oxygen to survive for any longer than a few minutes.

"Stay behind, Jasper," Carlisle said, kneeling down beside her while checking for all the injuries she had. "She needs us, Carlisle. Her heart is too slow to be rescued in mortal form," Jasper said, stepping closer while avoiding the animalistic growls his mind played inside.

Carlisle looked up immediately, understanding what his son implied before shaking his head. "No, I promised not to change anyone. I can't destroy another life," he said, preparing himself to do a CPR. "You know it won't help," Jasper argued, making Carlisle sigh.

Carlisle looked up to find Jasper with tears in his amber eyes. And that is when he realized why Jasper was urging him to change her.

Carlisle only nodded, deciding not to question at that moment.

It was exhausting.

To be a vampire and constantly find yourself in a human's presence, (Y/N) learnt a hard way. While she didn't hate Bella, she just couldn't be in her presence without wanting rip her throat apart and devour every drop of blood in her.

It was Jasper who would wrap a hand around her waist while rubbing circles on her forearm. He stopped her from attacking the human all the time.

(Y/N) found herself liking Jasper's presence around. It soothed her and made her feel comfortable in her own skin. He helped her fit in, from teaching her how to hunt to explain to her the heightened senses.

It made her feel like she was some kind of damsel in distress and she did find herself frequently apologizing for it, much to the blonde man's dismay.

(Y/N) found him handsome. His long dirty blonde hair. His deep amber eyes. His sharp wits and features. His entire personality and his accent. He would always call her 'Madam', something she found herself liking.

He never really asked her about her origin, or about that night; but he did tell her about his past. Everything thing he had done. And as much as (Y/N) wanted to hate him for serving the Confederate Army, she just couldn't.

It could just not happen. Her hating him. Probably because it was him who convinced Carlisle to change her and grant her a chance at living. She didn't know for sure, just that she found herself seeking him more and more.

"You should let it out," Jasper's voice echoed in the valley as he looked at the woman beside him. (Y/N) only hummed, hugging her knees as she looked up at the full moon. "I don't know if I can."

"You can," Jasper said, determined. His amber eyes found her crimson ones, laced with intensity and loyalty. "You seem more confident about me then I am about myself," she chuckled, before sighing, the smile dropping.

"It was a friend," she whispered, eyes focused on the rock in front of her. "We were drunk and he offered to... drive me home," she continued, tearing up as the night became clearer in her mind. "He stopped in the middle of the road, said something was wrong with the car."

Jasper could feel her emotions spiking, making him wrap his hand around her shoulder. Placing his head on her shoulder, he spoke, "You know, when I was working for Maria. I thought I was doing right, but no. It wasn't that way."

"Could never do anything wrong," she whispered shyly, fingers tracing some unknown patterns on his thigh. "I did many wrongs in my life, (Y/N). But convincing Carlisle to turn you, it was the best decision I could ever make."

"I am grateful you did," she said with a smile, making Jasper roll his eyes teasingly. "You can repay me in the future," he said jokingly, making the lady laugh heartily.

"You know, you look breathtaking under the moon," Jasper complimented, making (Y/N)'s eyes dart everywhere but denied meeting his.

The empath smiled, his fingers interlacing with hers as they watched each other under the moonlight, blissfully.

#jasper hale x reader #jasper x reader #jasper #jasper hale #twilight imagine #twilight #carlisle cullen x reader #carlisle x reader

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yanphobia · 1 year

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Cleithrophobia - Chapter 11

Cleithrophobia: The fear of being trapped.

Pairing: Yandere Male Drider OC x Reader

Warnings (for the entire story): Yandere, Horror, Graphic Discriptions of Injury and Death, Spiders, NonCon Touching, Possible NonCon (depending on reader's interpretation), Implied Female Reader (although it doesn't really factor too heavily into the plot), Extreme Dead Dove Do Not Eat

Chapter 10 Index

Author's Note: Aaaand that's a wrap! I was going to wait until next week to post this, but you've all been so good waiting for updates that I thought you deserved to get it early. It's been so much fun starting this blog and seeing your reactions to the new chapters, and I can't wait to get started on my next story. I have a few ideas bouncing around, so stay tuned! But in the meantime, enjoy the final installment of our angry spider man!

This story was inspired by cobalt-sphinx's Drider x Reader from Quotev.

You didn't die that night; no. Death would’ve been kinder.

Every waking moment, the events of that night haunted you. Every time you fell asleep, it was as though you were reliving it all again.

Mars hadn’t let up the second you fell into his den. You tumbled down the tunnel that would be too steep to ever climb out of and slammed against the cold ground of the hollowed-out nest below, dimly lit with the lantern you had left in your meeting spot earlier in the night. The impact caused you to lose your breath, but almost immediately he was lifting you up again, roughly shoving his tongue down your throat as you weakly attempted to push him away.

Then he carried you to the newly laid webs in the corner... you shut your eyes. You didn’t want to remember what happened next.

But even now, you could still feel his hands ripping through your clothes, shredding them and leaving you in your most vulnerable state. You could feel his fangs tearing through the soft, delicate flesh of your body, the wet sound of his mouth slurping up your blood in between his loud proclamations of hate. Your voice was gone from all of the screaming, and crying, and begging for mercy, and you weren’t sure how often you passed out only to wake up again in the throes of your torture.

He had left no part of you untouched, unviolated, and you haven’t seen him since.

At some point, you had woken up to find him gone, and although it was impossible to tell how long you’d been here, it had to have been at least a few days. You were forced to lie there, starving and weak in a pool of your own blood and waste, as you fought with yourself to maintain your sanity. There was something inside of you, some weak desire to escape from the hell you’ve been subjected to, that was keeping you alive.

It was quiet, but eventually you heard the scratching of his legs against the dirt walls of the tunnel. He stopped when he reached the bottom, no doubt confused by the darkness of the den. You couldn’t bear to look at your injuries anymore, and over the course of a few excruciating hours you were able to roll over and turn the lantern off.

“This,” he said, as you heard him approach, “was supposed to stay on!”

The lights flickered on and you saw your captor’s irritated face, which quickly turned to surprise. It would’ve been almost comical, if you had the heart to laugh. The two of you looked each other over, him, holding the corpse of a goat by its broken neck, and you, looking like a prey animal that had met a much slower end. As he took you in, his confusion turned to an obvious disgust, and the embarrassment and shame you felt at your current state overtook you.

“...”

“They’re infected.” You were quick to explain. “The wounds, they’ve, uh... they’re festering. They need to be treated.”

It was awful and seeing them again was nothing short of nightmarish. There had been nothing here to clean them when they were fresh, and you wouldn’t have had the strength to do so anyway. In your solitude, you slowly watched as the area around the lacerations swelled and reddened, while a thick, foul-smelling pus leaked out of them. They burned and the redness spread around your body, along with the fever that’s been plaguing you ever since. Your skin glistened with sweat as you watched your skin begin to yellow, and then blacken, shriveling away to reveal the deep-seated fascia and layers of fat underneath. You laid there in agony as your condition worsened, all the while remembering your readings about the necrotizing properties of spider venom.

You were rotting away, from the outside in.

“Please...” you begged, your voice so weak and pathetic sounding that it only embarrassed you further. “Please, let me go. I just have to... have to treat it. I have to go to a hospital.”

He remained unimpressed. “Do you really think that will work on me?”

“I’m serious!” You begged. “I’ll do anything... I’ll come back the second that I can. But I can’t put it off any longer...!” He eyed your injuries again, observing old blood stains on the webs underneath you. The smell was nauseating, and perhaps that was what made him compromise.

“I’ll get you water-”

“No! Water would not do anything at this point, not this far along.“ The only thing that could save you now was a clean environment, with plenty of antibiotics, steroids, skin grafts.

“Please,” you tried again, “I swear to you that I will come back. I’ll die if I don’t!”

“You’ll die?!” He scoffed. “What do you think I do every day? How do you think I feel, knowing that you’re here, wanting to be close to you, but then remembering all of the shit that you did to me?! What I suffer, [Y/N], is a fate worse than death, and all of it is because of you.”

He leaned closer and held up the dead goat.

“This-” he said, shaking it in front of your eyes, “is what I’m supposed to be. An apex predator, one that listens to no one, especially not a useless human like yourself!”

And with that, he tore into its flesh. He maintained eye contact with you as you watched the meat of its body break down and liquify. You imagined yourself in the later stages of your necrosis, with your internal organs falling apart the same exact way.

You didn’t have it in you to be sick anymore. You were too numb. As you watched Mars devour his meal, you realized that this was the exact fate that you deserved. For all of the things that you’ve done to the people you claimed to care about. For Laura, Stan, and Shadow, whose deaths you had caused. You could never be allowed to make a full recovery, physically or mentally, because you have not earned it.

You sighed, closed your eyes, and waited for nature to take its course.

---

Mars stared down at your unconscious form. You hadn’t been responsive for a few days, and he had lost the last of his patience. He knew, in his heart, that you were being dramatic, that your injuries THAT HE INFLICTED UPON YOU were not nearly as bad as you claimed. He even cleaned your wounds for you, scrubbing them down using water from a nearby pond YOU’D TOLD HIM WATER WAS NOT ENOUGH TO HEAL YOU and the scraps of your old shirt.

He’s done everything he could NO HE HASN’T but you still refused to wake up.

“Hey.” He barked out. Silence.

“HEY.” This time he kicked you. Again, silence.

He knelt, taking one of your hands in his. He briefly glanced over the withered, blackened fingertips and yellowed, peeling nails, before biting into your cold palm. Blood gushed from the puncture, and he waited intently for you to wake up screaming, but he was still met with silence.

He stood and dropped your hand, which fell listlessly to the ground, and licked your blood from his lips. It was off, somehow, extremely sour and not at all as warm and sweet as it used to be.

His hands raked through his hair as he thought to himself. He wasn’t stupid, he knew what a rotten carcass looked like, he had seen them many times out in the woods. But you weren’t dead. You couldn’t be.

Slowly, he approached you again, and even slower, he lowered his ear to the marred flesh above your heart, ignoring the bit of yellow puss that rubbed off onto his cheek.

A heartbeat. He could barely feel it, much less hear it, but it was still there. He looked again at your disfigured face, at the deep cuts in the muscles that so closely resembled the raw meat that you used to bring to him.

He wasn’t stupid. He knew what a creature in its final moments looked like.

---

You had no way of feeling your naked body being wrapped in a dirty threadbare blanket, or the night’s cool air on your face. You couldn’t feel the way it rocked back and forth as it was carried through the forest. You couldn’t feel it being propped up against the wooden balusters of a front porch, either.

You could, however, hear a voice pulling you back from the darkness that you had been lost in.

“Alright, you’ve won.” It said. It kept tugging on the fabric around you. Adjusting it.

“I’ll take your previous deal.”

When a star is about to die, it receives one final burst of energy before it diminishes completely. Why that was the first thought you had as you mustered up the strength to open your eyes... you could not tell.

Your vision was blurry, and in your left eye it was almost entirely gone. You didn’t have a way to see how milky and deteriorated it had become. But somehow, you were able to make out a few pairs of red eyes staring at you, and a wide, thin mouth which revealed black fangs when it spoke next.

“Go, then, to your little human hospital and sort all of this out. And then afterwards – immediately afterwards – you'll come home again. Don’t... don’t you di-”

His voice caught in his throat, then he huffed in annoyance.

“Don’t you try to screw me over, okay? I’ll know if you try to get out of this one...!”

He stood up then, seemingly miles above you, and gave one final warning:

“Go there and come right back, [Y/N]. Just like you promised.”

Your eyes began to defocus as you heard him bang loudly on the front door and run away, into the pitch-black forest behind you. The door opened, and you heard the woman’s voice change as she processed the macabre scene before her.

“Hello? What is...? Oh... oh my God! Kids! Brandon, Kayla, get in your rooms! Get in them, right now! Charlie, I – Charlie, call 911! You- hey... are you alive? ...Listen, we’re going to get you help! We’re calling an ambulance! Just... just stay awake, alright? Just don’t fall asleep...!”

You held on to her words as much as you could. Deep down, you still felt the animalistic urge to continue living. No, a part of you still wanted to believe that you could get through to the other side of this, as little as you may deserve it. But as your eyelids pulled themselves closed, and as you felt your conciousness begin to slip, you weren’t so sure that you had the strength to hold on anymore...

THE END.

#yandere x reader #yandere fiction #tw yandere #drider #drider oc x reader #terato #terato x reader #yandere #yandere x darling #yandere male #yandere drider #drider x reader #yandere writing #yandere oc x reader #cleithrophobia

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spacemagicandlaserswords · 1 year

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The Clone Wars 1x5 ‘Rookies’ Reaction Take 2

STILL SCREAMING

(I wrote this as I rewatched the episode, pausing as I went so that's why it's probably disjointed and all over the shop). Edit: Adding gifs to this because I can and I feel like it suits the more live-blogging style that these types of reaction posts end up being.

Lmao @ the GAR radio hologram

Omg Echo. It’s baby Echo! Look at him and his reg manuals!

Hello Sergeant Reed Richards and your lovely silver temples. Is this Sergeant O'Niner? More silver fox clones plz.

Are his eyebrows grey as well?

Deep Thoughts with Kenobi

Lol look at Obi Wan, so happy to see his space husband. Or its just the dated animation. But we’re all delusional here so let’s go with the first option.

Ah so this is where the ‘Good man, that Cody’ line comes from.

Rip not getting to know more about the lovely clone with the facial hair. Was this Droidbait?

Oof, foreshadowing for Hevy rip

Rip Sentry

Oh hey Fives has his little 5 Aurebesh tattoo already!

Droids! Well that was subtle lmao

I know this is very early on in TCW but there are some funky accents going on with the clones.

Rip Sergeant Silver Fox

Ventress is hilarious. She’s so completely beyond OTT. Ridiculous. I love it.

The entire comm exchange between Cody and the commando droid pretending to be a clone. CACKLING

Droid: Roger roger Rex: *narrows eyes*

Lol @ Cody palming off his problems to Rex. Have fun being in charge of this one!

“The reg manual says that the next–” Omg Echo.

Rip Cutup. What a gruesome way to go.

“What the hell was that?” A “bad” word? In my animated children’s television show?!

“Ah, that was an eel.” Yes thank you Echo

“Now, that’s why we have the regulation not to go outside.” omg I love him

Lol @ the fanfare when Cody and Rex turn up. The heroes have arrived.

I know I’ve said this before but Rex looks all special with is kama and captain’s pauldron and different helmet and whatever else and then Cody just gets some golden painted bits of his armour and 2 aerials? What is he, a designer retro TV?

Omg the droid pretending to be a clone. You can just tell the animators had a field day with that one.

Thank you for visiting and have a safe trip back? Question mark?

Gif from this post by @dindjarism

“A droid attack flare?” OMG REX DID NOT HESITATE. Even Cody was shocked.

At this point, “Roger, roger” is basically enough to send Rex’s spidey senses into overdrive.

“Woah, Rex! What the heck are you doing?” An even less of a “bad” word? In my animated children’s television show?!

Also lawl @ Rex’s drawled “Relax” after shooting the droid disguised as a clone at point blank range.

Does Cody not have his gold paint yet?! His armour looked distinctly grey, though they are on a moon so the lighting might be why it looks grey.

“Off the platform!” Rex you just yeeted yourself. And Cody. You actually want to be yeeted don’t you Rex?

Cody is the kind of friend who would jump off a cliff if his friend said to.

What happened on Tibrin? I must know. Is this The Clone Wars version of what happened in Budapest? Will we never know?

It’s a tiny little exchange but you can really tell from the change in voice how familiar Rex and Cody are with each other already.

Also that shot of Rex after he lands from their lines under the platform is absolutely a hero shot and hero pose. There’s quite a few of these throughout the episode and you can really tell that this is absolutely the introduction episode of Rex. So many moments throughout this episode exist just to show what an absolute BAMF he is. Seeing as the character was originally supposed to be Alpha-17 it makes sense. You can really Rex’s jaig eyes really prominently throughout this episode too. Makes sense, seeing as they’re on the front of his helmet, but it almost feels even more emphasised that you’d expect.

Sun bonnets!

Rex just turning around and one shotting the Rishi eel like it’s nothing omg sir stop

Gif from this post by @dindjarism

Echo gets his Rishi eel blood hand print from Rex! Seminal moment unlocked!

Lmao at Anakin and Obi Wan snarking about their clones.

Rex calls Echo kid! I AM WAILING!

Rex old boy? Since when was Cody bri’ish?

Rex, your ideas are as bad as Anakin’s.

The whole scene with trying to get in the blast doors and Rex kneeling there holding up the decapitated head of the commando droid? CACKLING

Cody is so done with your nonsense Rex

That was the most badass delivery of “Roger. Roger.” I have ever seen and we’re only 5 episodes in.

Aw Echo is already worried about Fives.

Rex is basically the personification of ‘so anyway, I started blasting’ at this point.

Rex, Sir, you did not have to go so hard in taking apart that droid with your bare hands

Is this the first hero shot we get of Rex, Cody and Echo together? Sure looks like it! Look at Rex looking all noble in the background.

More foreshadowing for Hevy rip

Closest thing we clones have to a home. SOBBING

The little nod between Rex and Cody.

Random gronk droid.

"Didn’t say please." There are so many good cheesy one liners in this episode it's like an 80s action movie. I love it.

"We could use a jedi about now." I think Cody is missing his space husband.

That admiral definitely feels like a stereotype of a posh british officer from WWII or similar

Oh damn this is Hevy's last stand. What a way to go out.

Hevy nooooo what are you doing

“I don’t like your tone rookie” Rex was that a growl?!

Hevy just yeeting the machine gun at the droids.

Noooo Hevy

"I don’t." Wow those were some last words. Rip Hevy

Gif from this post by @theclonewarsdaily

Naw Echo and Fives getting medals. And joining the 501st! Also their completely in sync salute and about turn was the definition of crisp. I know it’s probably just the same animation copied and pasted but we can ignore that and focus on how it’s totally cause they’re the twins in their batch.

OMG THAT EPISODE. MY HEART. CLONES. THE CLONES HAVE MY HEART. EVERYTHING FOR THE CLONES.

I think I’m going to have to go back and watch some episodes again because when I first watched this I a) didn’t remember most of it and b) hadn’t started to fall in love with the clones. I should imagine coming back and watching important and memorable episodes again after the finale will have another different meaning to it all as well. Though, given what happens in the finale, I might need to wait a bit. Maybe I’ll come back to it after watching Rebels and a few other things I want to catch up on. I did realise though that I did actually watch this episode when I started watching The Clone Wars, I just didn’t remember most of it. The only bits that I remembered were when the 4 clones (Echo, Fives, Heavy and Cutup, I think) escaped through the tunnels to outside the base, right before Cutup got eaten by that eel.

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usertiff · 1 year

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TLDR: no rent money, last time i was late w rent by 2 days i got an eviction notice, my cat needs urgent medical help, i’m out of work due to severely debilitating pain. extremely disabled, indigenous lesbian desperately in need of help. also a paragraph about how much i am sorry

my friend said, “nah bestie asking for help isn't shameful in any way. there's strength in knowing what you need,” but i still feel like crud

i am literally sobbing as i post this because i just feel... i feel like a loser, i feel worthless, i feel so many emotions right now because i’m so terrified and tired of asking for help. i’m terrified of people just being sick of me because i’ve needed help before, and i don’t know. i would never shame anyone else for needing help, and i know realistically it shouldn’t be shameful, but i personally feel shame because i feel like a failure. i feel like a loser/worthless/failure because of something that’s completely out of my control, and yet, the feeling is still there. i’m exhausted. i’m exhausted from being in this stressful, urgent situation. so i’m sorry. i’m so sorry i’m asking for help again, i’m so sorry. i feel horrible, i really do. i feel guilty for needing help. i feel sick. i’m trying not to, and i’m trying not to cry, but i’m typing this through very blurry vision rn.

as i’ve mentioned on my blog, i’ve been out of work due to severe chronic pain. i was able to work through my other disabilities. narcolepsy, my shitty mental health auDHD/bipolar, etc. but this chronic pain has been completely fucking debilitating. medical fatphobia tw incoming: i saw a neurosurgeon today and they won’t give me surgery because of “my weight being a risk for post-op complications, such as stitch rips”, so i just have to deal with the pain until i can lose enough they’ll operate on me ????????? i dont know what the hell i’m going to do........... this sucks so fucking bad i just wanna go back to work i hate living like this

my fiance needs her wisdom teeth removed really badly, but we had to cancel her appointment because the money we saved for it had to go to our cat.

possible animal death tw: my cat has bladder stones now................................. last time he had stones it costed almost $1k in surgery. the bladder stones will kill him if not treated, because toxins build up in the body and if he cannot pee... just sldfksldfkj i don’t wanna talk about it. he’s miserable.

i’m going to have to dip in to our rent money, which was actually our tax money because i’ve not been working so tax money was our saving grace this past month, to keep taking him to the vet. however, last time i was late on rent just 2 days, they gave us an eviction notice and only 7 days to come up with rent. that was a fucking disaster. so i’m TERRIFIED!!!!!!!

i need help so bad. with just surviving being out of work, and now my cat... i’m super annoyed because i was desperate to get my baby sister a doll for her birthday but there’s no way that’s happening now.

anyway, i’m sorry. i’m sorry for everything. i’m sorry i need help. i’m sorry if you’re sick of seeing me on your dash for like the 3rd time needing major help.

i have set up a gofundme here https://www.gofundme.com/f/uwkhj-help-my-family-survive?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cf+share-flow-1

however, if you’d prefer to donate directly, due to the fact that gofundme takes a big portion of funds, here are my accts:

pypl: [email protected], v: @oraclelauren (3177), ca: $selinaaakyle

every donation is going to be greatly appreciated, and i promise to pay the kindness forward in every little way that i can

please don’t put yourself out to help, but if you can help, my heart goes out to you with forever gratefulness

#i am so exhausted #donations #gofundme #lgbt donations #idk what to tag #im so scared #my heart is pounding i feel so sick i just feel guilty for needing help #i know i shouldn't but i just do :sob:

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elleenvs3000f23 · 6 months

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Blog 8 (week 9) - Fireflies; I just think they're neat

Bioluminescence is one of the most incredible phenomena on the planet. Before humans invented electricity and lightbulbs in the early 1800s, the only thing we knew that could produce light was fire and stars…and life.

As humans we like to think of ourselves as quite advanced and intelligent as we have mastered how to light up the dark - fire allowed us to find safety from predators at night when we were most vulnerable and allowed us to work even after the sun had gone down. But we aren’t special, so many species were making their own light long before we ever tried.

If you’ve read my old post on art and nature you’ll remember one reason I am very fond of fireflies is because of a chance encounter with a massive population during field work; but fireflies have always been near and dear to my heart - growing up in rural Canada, there's no shortage of time to waste and bugs to catch and fireflies where the first insect I ever really took the time to observe up close as a kid.

Bioluminescence is incredible for a lot of reasons, one being it is almost perfectly efficient at using energy (Branham, 2005). Fireflies are tiny! They don’t have a lot of material and energy to waste so their light needs to be as cost effective as possible. If you’ve ever touched a lightbulb that’s been on for a long time it's hot! But fireflies don’t waste any light energy as heat - both for their own safety and to save precious calories.

For glow-worms (larval fireflies) flashing lights are a warning to predators - a giant neon sign saying “HEY! I TASTE REALLY BAD!” (and they do, so if a bird eats the glowing worm once, it's unlikely to want to do it again). Adult fireflies have unique flash patterns for their species and use their light to attract a mate (I’ll save you my attempts at flashing jokes, you’re welcome) (Branham, 2005). I’ve you’ve ever taken a date on a romantic night out to look at the stars, are you and the firefly really that different?

So how does it work? Well bioluminesce happens through a complicated looking chemical reaction like this:

(Navizet et al. 2011)

It looks science-y and difficult but at its core ATP is the same molecule that your body uses when it needs energy. When you eat, the energy from your food attaches a phosphate “P” onto the molecule and then you rip the phosphorus off to use that energy when and where you need it! When the P is ripped off to do biofluorescence the energy is used to power a reaction between magnesium or calcium, oxygen and a chemical the fireflies produce called luciferin that produces light!

As pollen and nectar foragers- they are also pollinators hard at work even after everyone else is asleep. So thank a firefly for more than just their incredible light! I think it's always good to remember that as separate and exceptional from nature we may consider ourselves to be as humans - most of our technology is something nature did first and really - we’re not so different from the rest of the animals we share a planet with.

Branham, M. (2005, September 5). How and why do Fireflies Light up?. Scientific American.

Navizet I, Liu YJ, Ferré N, Roca-Sanjuán D, Lindh R. The chemistry of bioluminescence: an analysis of chemical functionalities. Chemphyschem. 2011 Dec 9;12(17):3064-76. doi: 10.1002/cphc.201100504. Epub 2011 Oct 13. PMID: 21997887.

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northern-passage · 2 years

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so i thought i lost these pictures to time (locked myself out of my old laptop, purged my art instagram, deleted them all off the blog) BUT i found the old character lineup i did !! i forgot i had an art folder on my phone for my old art insta. i don’t know how many people remember the original art i did back in 2020, but i tend to delete a lot of the older art off the blog because i really don’t like my old art and i get self-conscious about it... but it also means i lose a lot of art.

i’m not sure if i ever did post the full lineup, if i remember correctly this version of merry was actually gender-selectable so i drew her pretty “ambiguous” and i don’t know if i ever ended up sharing her and noel. i think it’s pretty funny/interesting to see the changes both in the designs (i didn’t know how to draw or design clothes back then) and also the change in my art in just about 2 years.

first things first: no i do not know why merry is so fucking stanced. i do actually still like her design (those thigh high boots....), her & clementine’s are the two i still actually think look good here. i really like the bandana completely covering her head and i like the cowries in merry’s hair, though i think it’s funny i drew them in her hair and not noel’s when i’ve always had that as a part of noel’s character description (i still didn’t draw them in the most recent one because i forgot lol)

i do still like lea’s alchemy belt and the little bottle hanging off their other belt, too. i just wish i could remember what i was thinking with their pants. at least they’re not purple..... and they don’t even have their hooves yet :/ i remember drawing them with their hair down a lot because i couldn’t figure out how to draw a bun lmfao. rip to their eyebrow slit (but at least we have their beauty marks now... a fair trade i think)

noel’s design is the weakest in my opinion and i remember struggling the most with xem, too. not really sure what i was going for.... still have xir white boots tho 👼 and i do like xem with the longer locs in a ponytail. i cringe that i didn’t properly color his palms, i’m assuming i didn’t since i just did flat colors on all of them but i definitely still should have colored xir palms. and most obviously here is that noel started out pretty small. i think i drew this and almost immediately wanted to change his design (there are a few older pieces from this time where i Did try to make xem bigger) but i didn’t have a lot of practice drawing different body types. i’m glad that’s one thing i’ve definitely improved on since then.

it’s nice to have this to compare to the newer art and actually be able to see how much i’ve improved, and also the evolution of everyone. i remember i tried to make bases with the original lineup and i messed up every single one and couldnt use any of them again lmfao and this time i have successful bases for everyone so i can play dress up doll hehe

i also think everyone looks way warmer now and like they wouldn’t freeze their asses off in blackwater...

i also clearly went back to a more illustrative style - back in 2020 i was looking at a lot of animation and drawing my characters in that way, with flat colors and not really rendering anything, and now i’ve started moving back into a more painterly style. anyways. pretty cool! also i just realized i even coincidentally lined them up in the same order 🥺

#thanks everyone for tolerating all my art posting lately i don't share my art anywhere else so i appreciate everyone being nice :-)#i won't put this in the art tag cus it's mostly just me rambling lmfao #personal

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animebw · 7 months

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Re-Watching: Kimi ni Todoke Season 2

In which my opinion has flipped so completely on its head that I'm un-retiring for a single post to talk about it.

Return of the King

It's been almost two years since I've made a post like this.

For those of you who've only joined me after my semi-retirement on the tail end of 2021, The Anime Binge-Watcher used to be one of the most extensive anime analysis projects I've ever seen in Western fandom. I would consume anime at ridiculous rates and blog my thoughts in chunks of 3 or 4 episodes, piecing together all my observations and opinions in nice structured paragraphs like the ones you're reading now. In my glory days, I could get through two, three, even four posts a day. Heck, when I first watched Kimi ni Todoke five years ago, I tore through all twelve episodes of season 2 in a single day, writing no less than five separate analyses of my developing thoughts along the way. My long-term readers can attest to what a wild and wonderful journey it was, and even though I've since transitioned into a much looser and low-key blogging style, I still miss those days when I could spill countless words about the countless stories I consumed.

But of course, life moves on, and there was only so long I could dedicate that much of my free time to a hobby when real life was knocking at the door. I started this project as a college freshman with way too much free time on his hands; I'm an actual adult now, overseas job and everything. Not to mention all the other hobbies and creative pursuits taking up my attention. I just don't have enough time anymore to spend on truly in-depth analytical writing like I used to. And that's okay; the three-and-a-half years I dedicated to The Anime Binge-Watcher in its true form were more than enough to say everything I needed to about this medium and my relationship to it. This project is as complete as it could ever meaningfully be. So while I certainly miss those days, I'm more than happy to let this be my casual anime watching blog from now on.

But I'm making an exception today.

Because re-watching the second season of Kimi ni Todoke has so thoroughly upended my opinion on it that I have no choice but break my thoughts down just as extensively and in-depth as I used to do on a regular basis to explain why.

God, it's so fucking good to be back.

Sympathy for the Devil

So, since it's been... god, it really has been half a decade at this point, huh? Since it's been five years since I first watched and blogged about Kimi ni Todoke, here's a quick rundown of my thoughts for the countless among you who weren't around for it: I fucking love this show so much. Not only is it one of the most achingly sweet shoujo rom-coms out there, but the protagonist Sawako Kuronoma so perfectly captures my experience of teenage awkwardness and uncertainty that I swear the author was taking notes from my life. It's a story about growing up on the spectrum, whether it realizes it or not, about the difficulty of communication when you can't grasp the norms everyone else takes for granted. But it's also about how those seeming walls between you and everyone else barely exist at all, and as long as you have the courage to reach out, you'll forge connections wherever you go. It's a feel-good masterpiece the likes of which we so rarely see, and I recommend it to anyone with even a passing interest in anime.

And when I first watched the second season all those years ago, I absolutely hated it.

Okay, to be clear, what I hated was the first half of season 2. I hated the miscommunications, I hated the contrived misunderstandings, I hated how the very fabric of the show seemed to be conspiring to force Kazehaya and Sawako apart. By the time we reached the point where they both confess to each other and yet somehow think the other only means "I like you" as a friend, I wanted to rip my hair out of my skull. Mercifully, the second half won me back by finally letting them get together as a couple and indulge in adorable puppy love awkwardness so mind-numbingly sweet I needed an industrial warehouse full of epi pens to make it through unscathed. And I'm not exaggerating, god the final stretch here is some of the cutest shit I've ever seen. But it was really rough going to reach that point through what felt like the absolute nadir of forced misunderstanding plotlines. Nothing but contrivance after contrivance piled on top of each other to force the couple apart long past the point they should have gotten together for the sake of dragging out the will-they-won't-they as long as it could possibly be milked.

And yet, as I got to re-watching this show in preparation for its shockingly announced third season (my excitement is through the goddamn room), dreading the moment I reached season 2 and would have to suffer through this bullshit again, something truly remarkable happened when I finally reached this point: I didn't hate it.

And then something even more remarkable happened: I started to like it.

And then something truly impossible happened: by the time it was over, I couldn't imagine this show without this arc anymore.

Readers, I have never turned around on a show like this. I've had shows I disliked but softened on as time went by, sure, shows I liked but came to love more and more as they lingered in my mind. But this is the first time I've returned to a story arc I actually hated only to end up loving it by the end. And that's the reason I'm returning to my old in-depth analysis blogging to talk about it. Because there's no way to discuss the 180 I've done on Kimi ni Todoke season 2 without breaking it down in as much detail as humanly possible. I don't just want to write a couple paragraphs and be done with it: I want to memorialize this moment. I want to really, truly express why I came around on this arc and why I think it's so meaningful now. Because there's a real conversation to be had here about the the power of storytelling in general and the power of this story in particular. And for a show that's meant so much to me for so long, I can't think of any other way to do it justice.

So let's dive in. Because good god there's a lot to talk about.

Right on Time

So the first question I want to ask right off the bat is: was I wrong to hate this arc the first time around?

Well, I'm not gonna tell you it's free of contrivance. Kazehaya and Sawako's building misunderstanding requires so many different people to misinterpret so many different things in so many carefully staged situations. Not just the lovebirds themselves, but Kent's ill-informed meddling, Kurumi's intentional sabotage, and especially Chizuru's completely oblivious worsening of Kazehaya's insecurities at a critical moment. And that dual-misinterpreted confession scene is still some buuuuuuuuullshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. There's a reason this arc gets so much shit from me and others; you can practically taste the hand of the author as it shoves all the pieces around to keep this misunderstanding growing well past the point someone should have realized things were getting out of control and stepped in to clear the air. And when you're as anxious as me for these two dorks to just ask each other out already, it's hard to see this as anything but cheap, forced drama from an author desperately trying to stave off the inevitable.

But here's the thing: what if there's an actual point being made here?

See, this arc is such a frustrating experience your first time through that it kind of shuts down any attempts to analyze it on a deeper level. You're so pissed off at being denied the confession that's dangling right in front of your face that you write off the whole thing as nothing but empty delay tactics. And yet, Kazehaya and Sawako get together literally right after this. If this was just a case of dragging out the will-they-won't-they, this misunderstanding would have lasted much longer and done much more damage. But no! They confess properly, they clear everything up, and they're officially going out mere episodes after you're left fuming at their double misinterpretation of each other's "I like you." So while it feels like nothing more than cheap delay tactics in the moment, a full view of the story's trajectory rejects that theory pretty firmly.

And that's the big thing that changed in this re-watch: I already knew this wasn't going to last. This wasn't going to force them apart forever, it was going to get fixed, I didn't have to worry about this relationship I loved so much getting screwed over by coincidence. And without that worry of endless delays, I was able to do what I couldn't my first time through: actually think about what this arc was trying to say. What was the point being made by this part of the story? What was it trying to communicate about Sawako and Kazeyaha's relationship by putting them through the wringer? Was there, in fact, a reason things needed to play out this way?

And believe it or not, the answer turned out to be yes.

End of the Fairy Tale

Sawako and Kazehaya's relationship starts like something out of a fairy tale. Sawako, the lonely rejected girl who can't connect with people and scares off everyone she tries to get close to. Kazehaya, the ever-cheerful prince who sees her plight and reaches out a hand to pull her into the light. And with his endless support and supportive charm, she's able to find her place in the world with friends who love her and a handsome admirer who will always stand by her side. It's every lonely girl's romantic fantasy brought to life in dazzling colors, fully earned by how human the characters feel and how well-realized their growth is. Small wonder we all got so swept up in it we fully bought into the fantasy ourselves.

But people aren't princes and princesses. We're not perfect fairy tale archetypes. We're people; flawed, imperfect people who make mistakes and don't always see things clearly. And as impatient as I was for Kazehaya and Sawako to just get together already, what re-watching season 2 made me realize is that as of season 1, they were not yet in a place where getting together would be a good idea. Season 2 isn't delaying for the sake of delaying, it's holding up a spotlight to these lovebirds' biggest flaws and pointing out that if they don't find a way to overcome these weaknesses, any relationship they start is doomed to failure. It's pulling the curtain down on the fairy tale and forcing you to realize that this sparkly, shiny portrait of two young lovers actually has some deeply unhealthy undercurrents that would shatter their attempts at a happy life together if left untreated. And all the drama and misunderstandings that spring up as a result of those undercurrents are what force Kazehaya and Sawako to truly confront those issues head-on, move past them, and grow into stronger, more self-assured people who can actually be with each other without messing it all up.

Girl in the Gutter

To start with Sawako, because she's much simpler to understand, her problem is the same problem she's had from the start: a complete lack of confidence in herself. As much progress as she's made, she still sees herself as inferior to the people she loves, someone who has to earn their affection by proving she's worthy of it. A life lived isolated from her peers has left her incapable of seeing herself as part of them; they're all so much smarter and kinder and braver than her. How can she consider herself their equal when they're clearly not? And because of that inferiority complex, she's completely incapable of considering the fact that other people might care about her just as passionately as she cares about them. Not just Kazehaya, but Yano and Yoshida as well. She can't picture a world where the people she loves return that love with no caveats or expectations; how can she, when he doesn't consider herself on equal footing with them?

And in Yoshida's beautiful rant to Sawako in episode 6, we see just how painful it is to be on the opposite end of that self-loathing. Sawako isn't just hurting herself by putting herself down, she's hurting everyone who loves her by implying their love is, in some way, untrue. Imagine how it must feel to care so deeply for someone, to devote so much of yourself to them because they mean the world to you, only for them to assume you can't possibly care that much because they don't deserve it. It's legitimately gut-wrenching. And if Sawako had tried to start a relationship with Kazehaya still under that impression, it would've been a disaster. She would've spent the whole time thinking he was just doing her a favor, being nice and helpful like always, hating herself for forcing him to become someone he didn't want to be just for her sake. And Kazehaya would've spent the whole time hurt and frustrated that she would think so little of the feelings he's cultivated for so long. They would've lasted a couple months at most, and it's a genuine question whether they'd even be able to talk to each other anymore when it was over.

In short, Sawako could never be in a healthy relationship with Kazehaya, or anyone, really, until she finally got it through her thick skull that she is exactly as worthy of love as the people around her. Only after Yoshida's rant does she finally realize how much she's been putting everyone else on a pedestal, that the only one who considers her lesser is, well, herself. Kazehaya is no god, Yano and Yoshida are no angels; they're people exactly the same as her, flaws and fears and wants and all. And there is nothing Sawako can give them that she doesn't deserve back from them in return. Then, at last, she's able to truly accept that Kazehaya might love her just as she loves him- and more importantly, accept that it's okay for someone like her to be a part of his life. Because this glittering boy who seemed to stand so far above her was, in the end, just as normal as her. And if someone as wonderful as him was just an ordinary person like any other... than maybe she could be just as wonderful.

Boy on a Pedestal

And speaking of Kazehaya, something else this re-watch made clear was that I did not understand his character the first time around. I remember being so annoyed my first time through by how much he started waffling on his feelings in season 2 when he seemed to clear-eyed before. You're a sparkly shoujo pretty boy, what business do you have getting all angsty out of nowhere? But going through it again, no, Kazehaya was fully justified in his concerns. His seemingly effortless cheer is just as much a social mask as Kurumi's pretty popular girl shtick; he just does a much better job of turning it on naturally. But underneath that cheery exterior lies a boy who's riddled with sharp edges. He's impulsive, he's quick to anger, he gets jealous easily, and he's got a genuine possessive streak that flares up basically whenever he thinks there's even a chance Sawako might be in the sights of another guy. The boy is as sweet as they come, but there's a real darkness to him that I didn't really pick up on my first time through because that sweetness was so incredibly blinding.

So when they move into their second year classes and Sawako starts forging new connections well outside her comfort zone? Kazehaya feels that darkness gnawing at him stronger than ever, and it scares him. It scares him to think he might lash out and hurt Sawako with the force of his feelings for her. More than that, though, he's scared of the thought that her lack of feelings for him (by his own thoughts) will only make that possibility an eventuality in time. She's making so many friends and finding so many connections beyond him, and as much as he wants to be proud of her, he also feels like he's losing something precious, something that used to be just between him and her. Something that Kent touches on early in the season is that Kazehaya can't leave people alone when he thinks they're in trouble; he swoops in and lends a helping hand because it's the right thing to do. But there's a world of difference between helping someone in trouble and building a life with them. And the more Sawako finds connections outside of him, the more jealous and uncomfortable he becomes... which only makes him all the more concerned that his gestures of kindness were little more than an attempt to bind her to him like a baby chick to its mother.

The fact of the matter is, Kazehaya and Sawako's relationship as of the start of season 2 is incredibly unbalanced. He's essentially been something like a teacher throughout her first awkward high school year as she began to develop her sense of self, and he's been a wonderful guiding light. But because of that, she puts incredible amounts of trust in him... trust that would be painfully easy for a less well-intentioned person to abuse. Sawako thinks so little of herself, and so highly of Kazehaya, that he could probably ask her to do anything and she would do it, no matter what it would mean for her. And because Kazehaya is so aware of his own demons, he's also aware of how easy it would be for his jealousy to spike out of control and hurt her. He's torn between wanting to hold her fast and never let go and wanting her to leave him behind. Wouldn't it be better for her to stop being so dependent on him, to find happiness in a broader community of people? Wouldn't she be happier- safer- if she could carry her happiness as far away from him as possible?

Golden Goose

Of course, the problem with Kazehaya's perspective is that he's making exactly the same false assumption as Sawako; thinking there's no way they'll be able to see eye to eye because he puts her on too high a pedestal. He's so consumed with thoughts of how much he could hurt her that he's incapable of seeing how much good he brings to her life. There's a great moment where Pin calls him out for this kind of selfish thinking; for all his claims of wanting to do the best for her, his own feelings are the only things he's really taking into account. He's so obsessed with his own way of seeing things that he never stopped to consider what Sawako thought of their relationship, never considered that someone as honest and straightforward as her might also have feelings she was too scared to talk about. So while Sawako needed to realize she was just as worthy of love as everyone else, Kazehaya needed to come to terms with the fact that everyone else is just as flawed as him in their own ways. Everyone else has doubts, hidden desires, questions on how to move forward with no easy answers. But just because you can't be sure of everything is no excuse not to try.

On that subject, something else I really came to appreciate on this re-watch is how Kent serves as a foil for Kazehaya. He's essentially the person Kazehaya is afraid of becoming: someone who does good deeds and helps people not out of a genuine love for the people he cares about, but as an ego-boost to fuel his sense of self-importance. Yes, maybe Kent has good intentions, and he certainly did some good for Sawako helping her settle into her new class, but when push came to shove, his sense of self-righteousness won out over his desire to do the right thing, and thanks to his own misinterpretation of Kazehaya's feelings, he meddled in ways that almost drove Sawako and Kazehaya apart for good. He was so convinced his perspective on what was happening was correct that he never stopped to wonder if he was doing more harm than good until he'd almost ruined everything forever. And Kazehaya is so terrified of becoming that kind of person- or the thought that maybe he already is- that he pulls farther and farther away from her rather than try and fix things upright. It's only when he finds the courage to be as honest and straightforward as Sawako, doubts be damned, that he's able to meet her on equal footing, see her clearly for the first time, and embrace the love he was so scared of losing with all his heart.

Hearts Wide Open

And it's that incredible catharsis that officially turned me around on season 2. Seeing that incredible confession scene and all the sugar-bomb adorableness afterwards not as an apology for a season wasted on delay tactics, but the culmination of a genuinely beautiful coming-of-age for both of them, made me realize just how damn important this arc I thought I hated was. Kimi ni Todoke needed to let its characters face their flaws like this. It needed to confront their worst aspects to they could grow beyond them. It's only now that they're truly self-assured people, confident in themselves and each other, that their relationship is able to be so unspeakably, unfathomably delightful. And while there's definitely more than a little narrative railroading to force them into that situation, the payoff is so spectacular than I genuinely don't mind anymore.

So I guess, if you, like me, found yourself groaning throughout Kimi ni Todoke season 2 the first time you watched it, rolling your eyes at the contrivances, yelling at the screen as they kept misunderstanding each other and hating the writers for putting you through such bullshit... give it another look. See it for what it is. I can't promise it'll win you over as fully as it did me, but with the benefit of hindsight, you may just find yourself a new light in what you thought was the darkest corner of the sun.

And with all that said, I'm bumping my season 2 score up from 6.5/10 to:

9/10

God, I'm so fucking happy I decided to rewatch this show. To my old fans, I hope you enjoyed this nostalgic return to form. To my new fans, I hope this was a fun change of pace! If you want to see more writing I've done like this, I've got an enormous backlog of shows I've analyzed like this, so feel free to check them out! And now, let's all wait with fingers crossed that season 3 is just as wonderful as what's come before...

#anime #the anime binge watcher #tabw #kimi ni todoke #from me to you

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holyalto · 2 years

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♡ A Sims Tag! ♡

This is from ALMOST a year ago. I seen it in my drafts so it's getting posted NOW because I'm finally playing the sims again lol.

Show us a rendition of yourself in your own art! Can be anything! Sims render? Random stick figure? Picrew? Go nuts! (Just be sure to tag the artist if you use someone else’s picrew!!!!) Tag the blogs you want to know, and don’t be a dick that’s it! Also, feel free to answer as vague or in-depth as you want. And if you don’t want to answer a question for any reason just don’t vibe with it! Skip it if you wanna!

(original tag by morgynemberisagenderfluiddaddy and the original post is here. i was tagged by cosmiksims, thank you!!)

1.) Do you prefer to be referred by your name or blog name?

either one is fine with me! i go by my nickname on here anyway. my full name is mercedes. :)

2.) Where are you from?

ohio. i have never tasted anything except corn and chocolate covered blobs of peanut butter in my life. someone please help me.

3.) Do you have pets? 👀

yes! my fiance and i have quite a few. we have a cat named tiramisu, a guinea pig named cookie, a bearded dragon named borris, a leopard gecko named anubi and a florida king snake that i call roach because i can't pronounce his real name <3 (and i don't like him rip)

4.) Tell us about your “dream.”

i just want to be a good mother, partner, friend, family member, stranger. that's it. i know it's very simplistic but that's my dream. i want to be a good person.

5.) Aside from art, what are your hobbies?

my 'art' is playing the sims apparently hahahaha. uhm, i like other video games as well. more simulation management style. things like software inc, jurassic world evolution, project highrise, tropico, ANIMAL CROSSING EEEEE, etc.

6.) Does anyone irl know about your blog?

my fiance! he called my bee legacy 'fan fiction' and i nearly died.

7.) Do you know anyone from your blog irl?

nope.

8.) What are some fun facts about you?

i own every animal crossing main game. i still play pokemon go everyday. i have a six month old son who is VERY cute. and i'm turning 22 next month.

9.) What’s your day job?

i'm a stay at home mom :)

10.) What’s your aesthetic?

uh!! next question because i'm just... slob trait lmao

11.) What kind of artist are you?

i actually went to graphic design school. college sucks hard when you're mentally ill tho lol

12.) How did you get into your form of art?

art - wattpad. i was 12 and started making book covers for people haha. i got really into photo manipulation after that and took that as my focus in vocational school and then went and did about two semesters of it in college. sims - i was 11 and wanted the paranormal pack. my mom went out and bought it for me because i begged for it for days. i played with it daily and eventually collected all of the sims 3 packs except for the last one. it took me a long time to switch to sims 4 after release because i was stubborn. i bought it like four months late, opened it twice, hated that i didn't understand the controls, and refused to play it again until a few months later.

13.) What do you watch/listen/read/anything else while you create?

youtube mostly, in the background. a lot of flabaliki/simssupply and buzzfeed unsolved because i love them and their dumb faces so much.

14.) What meme would you use to describe yourself?

probably the 'not a thought behind those eyes' tiktok audio

15.) If you were on the run, what would you change your name to?

why would i just give away information i may need in the future

16.) Have you ever or do you want to change blog names?

yes! i want to but i have some cc that uses that name. so i'll stick with it.

17.) God forbid Tumblr decides to pull a MySpace and lets us have page songs, what song would you choose?

i would simply delete my blog.

and now, the tags. only if you’re comfortable though! ♡ just tagging the people i see most in my notifications. don't feel pressured <3 @almost-spring @coatedinhoney @whyhellosims + absolutely anyone else. just say i tagged you.

#taggame #tag game #saviorhide

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cold-r-ain-in-june · 1 year

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I posted 5,121 times in 2022

That's 1,674 more posts than 2021!

20 posts created (0%)

5,101 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ciaraloves

@zuspacey

@inceldonnie

@mihai-florescu

@queersturbate

I tagged 138 of my posts in 2022

#ciara things - 31 posts

#mine - 29 posts

#kit - 29 posts

#i dont know how to feel about this - 4 posts

#reagan??? - 3 posts

#picrew - 3 posts

#161cm - 3 posts

#cassandra is creussa - 2 posts

#uquiz - 2 posts

#unashamedly self reblog - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#im trying to figure out if this is just a coincidence or if you did actually found about my obsession with throat imagery in arts

My Top Posts in 2022:

do I smell a ground-shattering, heart-ripping siblings web weave brewing Kit?👀👀👀

it was actually a mutual of mine most likely having a sibling issues crisis all over my dash but that doesnt sound like a bad idea 👀👀

possible inpiration: my older brother issues <3

7 notes - Posted March 29, 2022

Kit my beloved, have you watched (or read) jujutsu kaisen?

no but honestly from what ive seen on here the characters seem really interesting (and angsty), and i would watch the anime for the only reason that i cant buy the manga and im horrible at reading manga on screens, and like i dont know how good the anime is compared to the manga?? so if you watched please tell me if its good!!

thank you for the ask ciara <3

7 notes - Posted February 10, 2022

I saw your wip list and after passing out several times I am here to beg on my knees for more information about these two:

please!!!!

(also hi and I love you and I hope you’re okay <3)

you really saw jason narration and jason getting love and you ran with it /lovingly

both of those are so over complicating for no reason (especially in my head since the amount that i wrote compared to the amount of plot in my head is embarrassing) and they almost were the same fic (they intersect a lot time-line wise) but they have a different focus and themes and narration style and i just split it into two different works to make it simpler

i do love complicating things as you can see

anyway (useless) sneak peeks because i barely have anything:

death of percabeth aka the long awaited percabeth break up thats always brought up jn my other fics:

See the full post

14 notes - Posted August 2, 2022

i have an exam tomorrow and im over here writing percico smut

18 notes - Posted June 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

in the honor of me having a bunch of pjo wips i cant seem to finish heres a list of them

canon divergence series (either love is a shrine (or else a scar):

mortal au i always meant to expand but its just one fic for two years by now:

See the full post

62 notes - Posted July 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #mine #kit

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animaginaryartblog · 1 year

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Hello there! I'm Grace, aka AnImaginaryColor. You can call me Imaginary or Grace, I'm not picky. I'm a young Christian woman with a passion for storytelling - written, drawn, and hopefully, someday, even animated! Of course, you're probably not here to read a lengthy bio, so I'll put that under the cut and get right to the goods.

[Image ID can be found in alt and in the original post, here: https://www.tumblr.com/animaginaryartblog/730474364565405696/two-versions-of-a-digital-painting-of-blaze-the?source=share&ref=_tumblr]

This blog is safe for work and (mostly) clean. All my content is at most PG-13, always swear-free, and never sexual. Posts I reblog may occasionally have swear words or heavier content, but typically they match my own content (and again, nothing sexual). I'm working on writing up image IDs for all the art I've posted; I'm new to the practice, so lemme know if I'm getting anything wrong!

Primary fandoms: Sonic, my own (unpublished rip) books, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Rise of the TMNT

Primary tags:

My art - all art (that's been posted on Tumblr) by yours truly. my art can also be found on DeviantArt, Twitter, and Instagram.

My writing - that's right, it's words! by me!!! mostly fanfiction. all fanfiction. my fics can also be found on Archive of Our Own and Fanfiction.net.

My sketches - rough sketches and WIPs

Other people's art - reblogs of art by other people that I think is cool

Not art - everything that isn't art (like this post!)

Still here? Great, I'm gonna ramble. I'm a hobbyist artist, primarily self-taught and very reliant on internet tutorials. I started out in traditional art, but nowadays I'm almost entirely digital. Most of my drawings are created using Procreate on an iPad Pro with an Apple Pencil.

I draw a mix of fan art and original content; I'm also an aspiring writer (I started writing books long before I started seriously learning to draw), and I'll often draw character and creature designs from my various projects. In the fan realm, I primarily draw Sonic fan art (especially Blaze, I love she), with occasional sprinklings of Yu-Gi-Oh!, Ninja Turtles, and whatever else strikes my fancy. also AUs. a lot of AUs.

The content of this blog is entirely safe for work and clean. I try to keep everything PG-13 at the most (I have younger brothers, after all). As mentioned before, I am Christian; I believe the universe was created by a just and loving God, that He sent His son to die and be raised again in order that we might be saved, and that the Bible is the inspired word of God. My faith influences everything I do, and I am always seeking how to better live as an ambassador of God's Kingdom. I stumble, frequently, and I definitely don't have all the answers, but the goal is always Jesus.

All that to say, I don't bite! I may be socially awkward, a little timid, and have a slightly off-kilter sense of humor, but I'm always open to making new friends and learning new things. I hope you enjoy your visit and have a lovely day!

#not art #about me #christianity #artists on tumblr #meet the artist #i don't really need to put a lot of tags on this #it's just so i can actually have a designated pinned post instead of just whatever art piece #giving this blog a veneer of professionalism it absolutely does not deserve #imaginary ramblings

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beggingfortylergalpin · 1 year

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About Me:

Hi, I’m Maggie! I’m 27, and mother to a beautiful golden retriever and sassy tortie cat. I’m also a Leo sun, Gemini moon, and Scorpio rising. I love all things animals, music, writing, gaming streams, and tarot. I currently only write for Wednesday (Xavier Thorpe, Tyler Galpin). In the past, I have written for Shawn Mendes, Stranger Things, and Harry Styles.

All works are my own, posted here or reposted from my original blog @beggingforxavierthorpe, which was banned, almost all other works besides the Wednesday ones lost. RIP.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

Works In Progress - coming soon!

Blogs I Recommend - coming soon!

Writing Boundaries - coming soon!

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

Wednesday (series) Masterlist

#about me #beggingfortylergalpin #beggingforxavierthorpe

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staneii · 2 months

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Yello my Name is Damian but you can also call me Stannie💥💥im from the Philippines🇵🇭 I go by both he and she pronoun’s because idgaf abt my pronouns X3 This is just a boring shitty art blog but i have tumblr anyways so. Im in multiple fandoms like: South park, Touhou, Vocaloid, Dogman and mortal kombat! Im new to the mk fandom actually my friendo scott that has no social media whatsoever introduced me to the mk fandom. I used to be on the lorax fandom but I left the fandom because my lorax phase was extremely bad yk.. My favourite south park Character is Pip because i can relate to him sometimes except for the parents being dead and abusive sister or whatever i cant relate to him. And naw i don’t like Damien as much😒 im not a dip shipper

My favorite animal is a shark and fishes 🐟🦈

Im learning Japanese （・．・）but i forgetting every kanji word i just learnt for 0.1 seconds and i forgot how to even write 冬,向日葵,小枝 whatever like i cant memorise them due to the amount of brain injuries i got from my fucking brother like its dodgeball.

I really like fashion‼️‼️ i really like many of them like Lolita (thats my most favourite one) Vkei, kawaii fashion i guess what its called, Tenshi Kawaii, Gyaru (any gyaru🧉) gothic, heheuurr emo because someone asked me if i was emo😔 (im kind of though because im emotional as fuck sometimes like i keep breakdancing) and jirai kei. Bruh sadly my body type dosen’t fit any of these fashions i got to be skinny sadly bcuz i wont look great on them☹️

Things you should not do here:

Steal my art or reposting it (thats why i watermark almost anything) at least give credit and say its not yours if thats ever going to happen.

Criticizing unless your giving me tips i could actually use💥

Drink water, please i don’t touch water. /j

Trace my Art

Rip off my character designs or steal my characters

[If you do any of these i will start a war with you.]

Things you can do:💥

Drink ground.

Draw my ocs even though i never really like to post them here but i want fanart but will never happen bcuz nobody knows me cuz im a fish 🐟

Request me to draw any character especially your ocs bcuz this would be fun

DO NOT FUCKING INTERACT WITH ME PLEASE IF YOUR:

A lolicon/shotacon (i hate all of you for ruining the moe art style and yall in general are gross)

A proshipper/comshipper (humanity is scared of you)

A pedo/ M.A.P (human kind cant process what you are)

THOSE MOTHER FUCKING SCAMMERS WHO FILL A WHOLE INBOX UP BY TRYING TO MAKE ME PAY WHEN I HAVE NO MONEY BRO IM A KID.

HOMOPHOBICS (BRO WHY YOU HATIN FOR ITS NOT SIN PRIDE BRO OR ANY CHRISTIANS TRYING TO DO ANYTHING TO MAKE SENSE WHEN REALLY YALL ARE YAPPING ABOUT RANDOM GAY PEOPLE FOR NO REASON LIKE LEAVE THEM ALONE BRO.)

TRANSPHOBIC (same reason as the homophobes)

In conclusion yall are fucking shit human beings

#IM SO LATE AT SOMETHING LIKE THIS NAURR I SHOULDVE MADE THIS WHEN I FORST STARTED TUMBLR💦💦#i cant even tell if im even joking or not or probably im half joking ifk #i cant tell if this is satire or not #SORRY IF I USE THE WORLDS MOST ROUGHEST GODDAMN WORDING #IDK #IM STUPID #this is awkward #like 💀💀💀#bruh idk what im even saying at this point

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useful-boy · 3 months

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Hey, hi! Im really sorry for sending this, i just hope im not overstepping any boundaries as I’m about to ask help which is very important right now :( our cat, Sleepy needs an urgent vet care. She is pain and I can't afford to pay the vet to help her so I'm reaching out to ask for help, I mean even if you can’t help monetarily, reblogging or sharing it would truly mean a lot. She is my daughter’s best friend and she’s all I have left of my mom who passed away last 2021. In case you’d be insterested to help, I have pinned the post on my blog, please try to also answer the ask privately as some people tend to get weird on this stuff. Please send us prayers, be safe. ♥️🙏

Oh brother, this guys STINKS

One of the oldest scams in the book, and you've actually got people falling for this? My god, man.

1.) 5 day old account

2.) Following random blogs out of nowhere to beg for help

3.) Pinned post introduces the cat as "Sleepy" in quotes. Everyone knows animal lovers don't talk about their pets that way. You say their name with your chest or you don't say it at all. No one "quotes" their beloved pet's name.

4.) You mention having several pictures of this cat but never attach any to the post? Couldn't even be bothered to rip them off google and just hoped people would take you at your word? Amateur.

5.) Your story is just all over the place. You say your cat's condition was noticed "just before Christmas", then go on to describe mastitis (which would be very unusual for a cat to get when not nursing unless it was caused by an infection, an injury, or extremely poor hygiene). You say that because of this, she has an infection in her lungs, and that with antibiotics, she only has days left to live.

Then you go on to say that you don't actually know what her condition is, which contradicts the whole thing about her being on antibiotics because how would you even have her on that if you couldn't afford to bring her to a vet that could diagnose her in the first place to give her those antibiotics? You don't just find those lying around anywhere. The proper order is take cat to vet -> get diagnosis -> get antibiotics, not cat is sick -> listen to friend -> buy medicine at petsmart -> ??? -> get antibiotics for mystery condition from fucking nowhere I guess.

6.) You Also say that you "don't want her to develop sepsis or gangrene" after saying that your cat has an infection in her lungs, but if it's spread that far to her body? She's already dead.

Your cat is not laying at home like this 5 days after making a post about her condition. Your fictional cat is dead.

Also you mention not wanting her to die over something that needs antibiotics, which is a double contradiction. She's on antibiotics, you couldn't afford to see a vet where you would get both antibiotics and a diagnosis, she needs antibiotics, make up your mind.

7.) We're in the final stretch of breaking down your obvious scam, don't worry folks. You said... Okay your English really devolved here so copy/paste it is. "I have a PayPal. The estimate reflects the only vet in our tricity area that will take donations over the phone but they require the money upfront."

You never actually gave a monetary estimate Anywhere in your post, so good job failing that. Donating money through PayPal would just leave you with money in your PayPal account, which you could then transfer to a bank account, so the idea of taking individual donations received through PayPal and just, what? Reading their usernames out loud to the vet? That makes no sense at all.

8.) Actually taking a look at the page your donation post links out to brings us here.

Almost no information here, but let's check out the PayPal link.

Hm. That's a name alright. Odd that you can't tap on their name to open up a profile of some sort... Going onto actual PayPal and manually searching their name up got me this.

Well that just can't be right. The nice person with a totally real cat said that they had a PayPal account, and that was the name their page said we were donating to. Hmm.

9.) The cat used in your page isn't yours.

10.) "Please try to answer the post privately" No, I don't think I will. I think I'll show everyone how lousy you are at scamming people. Feel ashamed.

Now if you've made it this far, block and report this guy for trying to scam us hardworking tumblr users out of their money by feeding us a lameass sob story about their fake dead cat, and look at the post this cat pic comes from as a reward when you're done.

#scammers #scam #scam alert #long post

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cerberusseraphim · 3 months

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1/10/2024, 3 AM - 4 AM

im not entirely sure where to start.

as the first blog post, i feel like i should be organizing this better by giving a run down of my situation, but im not sure i have the full energy to do so. i can try.

im being abused. verbally, but im not unused to other kinds. Mammon is my older brother. i loved him once, but i dont anymore. as a child he raped and beat me, and i was always competing to be loved along side him. i lost, and my father has clearly chosen the son he prefers. im unsure of how this makes me feel anymore.

ever since i was home from the hospital i was apparently being sexually abused by my older sister. im unsure of how i feel about this as well. i guess it makes sense.

my doctor says i have CPTSD i think. i have voices in my head sometimes. used to think i was multiple people. im not unsure im not. i miss the others in my head, they've been really quiet for almost a year. i think they might be scared. i am too. im chronically depressed due to my circumstances and im unsure on how to get out.

i was raised to believe the world was out to get me. ive yet to shake this feeling. i was raised by my father mostly, who is a hyper paranoid man with untreated PTSD. unfortunately this means i get to suffer too. i am an adult, but getting any sort of job means i have to ask permission from my dad. he is unhappy with most jobs i apply for, only telling me he doesnt approve after i get a interview due to him not liking any area we live in as a place to work. we live in an area that has plenty of diversity, so you can imagine what he actually means when he says "these are bad neighborhoods". this is not an unsubstantiated claim, believe me.

i want my family to love me. they will never. i dont know how i feel about this. part of me doesnt care anymore. part of me mourns.

as i write this, im in another tense situation. i live with Mammon and my father. mother is dead, sister ran away to destroy other lives. i live in a one bedroom appartment with both of them. once upon a time, Mammon had a girlfriend who he lived with. she cheated, kicking him out and she keeps my cat due to my cowardly father getting a house that specifically forbids cats for his own ease of getting to work faster. i am heartbroken to be without my cat, but happy he does not live in these conditions.

the tense situation. my bad for going on a tangent.

Mammon is drunk. he is hardly ever not. he is a coward as my father is, he cannot feel his emotions so he drinks them away. it does not work. instead, it shows how much of a cruel animal he is. he is an angry man, and when he wants to drink he does not care who it disrupts. he abuses who he wants, he drinks as much as he wants with what little money he has, he claims he pays all the bills (he does not. father does. he just helps with a hundred or so bucks here and there) and therefore its his right to use me as a punching bag.

he paces the house and mumbles cruel words about me when he thinks i cannot hear. i can. he eavesdrops on my conversations with my friends, and attempts to meddle with my relationships based on the small amount of information he heard. he has lied to my father and has claimed to say terrible things to them- he has done no such thing. he lies to me and says they told him they all hate me and think im pathetic for everything. they do not know my brother, nor want to.

i keep going on side tangents in some attempt to give you context to my situation, im sorry.

Mammon has been drunk almost every night or early morning over the past 5 days. this is not uncommon. it disrupts my sleep schedule, when i try to have one. but last bender he did he grabbed at me- it should be mentioned all of these benders end in verbal abuse. occasionally he leaves me alone, but the anticipation for the abuse kills me just as much. anyway. he grabbed the hood i wore and ripped it off my head, grabbing a bunch of my hair in the process. it hurt. i should have hit him. when he does it again, i swore to myself id really hurt him. like, pick up a chair and beat him type hurt him. i dont want to be a violent person but no one else has beat the shit out of him for his attitude so i suppose i have to one day.

i have scary intrusive thoughts where im forced to kill him. i believe one day he is going to rape me again, then attempt to kill me in the process. i am scared then i will be forced to kill him. im scared i will enjoy it.

i hate Mammon, and i do think ill only feel safe when he one day dies. but i dont want to kill him. i want to hurt him and have him live to remember, but i dont want to kill. i am not capable of taking a life. even his.

i think somewhere inside i still love my big brother. i dont think thats whats stopping me from killing him, i cant kill because i refuse to- that includes killing myself.

anyway. he now wanders around wasting groceries in the kitchen. he tries to cook while drunk. only half of it ends up in the pot, the rest on the floor and walls. the food is only ever edible to him, but nothing else. its a miracle he doesnt puke it up.

the idea of food waste drives me insane. i hate it. he embodies all that i hate.

i wish i could heal from my trauma, ive been ready to begin the healing process. if only my brother would disappear, i could be some sort of healthy again.

#journal #trauma survivor #trauma

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