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#already had some grey strands 10 years ago :D
peanutcrow · 16 days ago
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request by anon of a younger Bruno getting asked by Alma to look into the future.
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thewayshedreamed · a year ago
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Somewhere, Part 2
Nessian Toxic AU
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> Somewhere masterlist
A/N: Another chapter from Cassian’s POV-- the next will be from Nesta’s! 
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It was one of those days where Cassian awoke before his alarm, the sun barely making its appearance through the curtains as he stirred. He tensed slightly when he realized he wasn’t alone, his tired mind not totally orienting to his surroundings in the early hours of the morning. Nesta’s arm was thrown across his rib cage; her face tucked into his neck and her warm breath fanning over his chest, and he relaxed immediately when the memories of the night before flooded his brain.
Slender arms tightened around him slightly, and he felt the faint movement of Nesta’s nose as she nuzzled his neck in her sleep. There was a tightness in his chest at the gesture; not because he hated it, but because it was one of his favorite things he remembered from their short time together. He tucked his cheek a little tighter against the top of her head, content to doze with her until he absolutely had to get up for the day.
On the nights they had spent wrapped around each other since their break-up, Cassian usually didn’t stay through the night. It was easier to slip out like a ghost, that way he didn’t have to face Nesta and tell her goodbye yet again. He knew it made him a coward and a jerk, but it was easier all around. He made a mistake staying last night. Waking up with her was another gut punch he would be left with when she went back home, but he didn't regret a thing.
Minutes passed, Cassian in and out of sleep as he kept himself tightly wrapped around Nesta. His phone chimed obnoxiously, jolting him rudely into waking hours. Nesta groaned next to him and tightened her hold on him, throwing her leg over his hips. He scrambled for the phone on the night stand as best he could without jostling her too much. His finger jabbed at the screen until the only sounds remaining were the air conditioner and their breathing.
Nesta's body was pressed as flush to him as humanly possible, her curves torturing him as she snuggled into him. Early morning Nesta was one of his favorite Nestas; between the nuzzling, the blatant displays of affection, and her insistence on closeness, Cassian always found himself marveling at the contrast between that vulnerability and her usual demeanor.
"It's so early," she groaned.
He chuckled as he started to run his fingers up and down her spine. "I know. I should get up though. I'm meeting Az at the gym."
Something like a pout and a grumble left Nesta's throat. He laughed again, but it was followed by a feeling of heaviness in his stomach. He was getting too comfortable with her, his defenses coming down too quickly.
He pressed a soft kiss to her head. "When do you head home?" he murmured, his lips grazing the spot as he spoke.
"Day after tomorrow. I fly out at 10 am."
Dread flooded his chest, but he shoved it away quickly. He was the one who asked in the first place.
"Can I see you again before you leave?" The question left him before he could sensor himself.
Nesta propped herself up on an elbow, eyes scanning his face in the little light that dawn provided them.
"Really?" Her voice was quiet, skeptical.
He shifted to look at her properly. "Yeah. Only if you want to, I mean. I don't know, I just— I enjoyed catching up with you last night. I had a lot of fun," he nearly rambled. He raised his other hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and run his thumb over her cheekbone.
She glanced down to his shoulder, a teasing smirk working its way across her lips.
"You'll have to forgive me. I'm more familiar with you ghosting me, so I had to be sure I was hearing you right," she quipped, her lips spreading into a full smile.
Cassian's jaw dropped in mock offense. "Ruthless," he replied breathily.
Her laughter carried through the room, and he thought he could get drunk from the sound alone. He laughed along with her, shaking his head incredulously as they recovered. Nesta rolled to her back as he lifted himself into a seated position, turning to press a kiss to her lips.
"I gotta go," he lamented. "How do you feel about staying in? We wear our most comfortable clothes, order an obscenely-priced movie on hotel pay-per-view, and we do more of what we did last night whenever we feel like it. I'll bring wine and take-out."
"A man after my introverted little heart," she said through a smile.
He stood to allow himself a couple of seconds to shake off the slight sting as her words. Her tone implied no malice, her intentions aligning more with light-hearted banter. How could she know that such a mild expression would remind him that he failed to win that very heart those years ago?
"Well," he began, forcing a tone far lighter than he felt. "It would appear that I have something to prove now that you called me out for being a habitual ghost."
That earned another laugh. He gathered his clothes, stepping into his pants before turning toward her again. Nesta eyed him appreciatively, her bottom lip pulled between her teeth as he dressed.
"You're sure you can't stay?"
A smile crossed his face, and he leaned down to press his lips to hers. He lingered, pulling a soft whimper from Nesta.
"I wish, but I promised Az I would help him with some stuff after our workout today. He'll give me so much shit if I cancel on him now," he explained, as he buttoned his shirt.
He turned to sit on the edge of the bed and put on his shoes. Slender arms worked their way around his waist, and he felt the impression of Nesta's body against his back.
"I know. You should go. I'm just being selfish," she murmured, her lips pressing to the shell of his ear once she finished.
"Brat," he breathed, pressing his weight into her as she kissed his ear once more.
"There's an extra keycard on the TV stand. I have some things to do today, so take it just in case you beat me back here," she offered.
Cassian fetched the card, placing it securely in his wallet so he wouldn't lose it.
"I'll keep you posted throughout the day," he promised, pressing a kiss to her forehead and hurrying out the door.
The drive to his apartment was short, thank the Cauldron, allowing Cassian to stop by to change into gym clothes. He threw a change of clothes into his duffel (plus some things for his night with Nesta), and flew out the door again. As he locked the deadbolt, he caught a glimpse of Julia's house key, and guilt flooded him. Nesta's hotel key was now burning a hole through his wallet, torturing him with moral grey area.
He parked his car near Azriel's and rushed inside. His brother was already in the locker room, placing his gym bag into one of the lockers.
"You're late," he stated dryly.
"By five minutes, Dad," he replied, repeating the nickname from the previous night.
"I prefer to be called Daddy," Azriel deadpanned.
Cassian chuckled at his joke as he pulled his hair into a bun. "If you want me to call you 'Daddy', you're going to have to earn it."
The pair walked out into the gym, stretched to warm their bodies, and made their way over to the row of weight benches. They gravitated to one near the wall, grateful that they had their choice of preferred space.
"See? This is why I like coming early. There's no one here," Cassian insisted, as they arranged the appropriate weight on the bar.
Azriel, the night owl he was, grumbled frequently about the time when he and Cassian worked out together. The morning hours did not agree with his brother's moody nature. He gestured toward the bench, offering to spot for Az first. He was still shaking his thoughts from this morning and needed a minute to focus, anyway. Before he knew it, it was time to switch, and he shook off the mental fog with a quick jerk of his head.
"You're uncharacteristically quiet this morning," Az noted, as Cassian adjusted his body beneath the bar. "You're usually far more... spirited."
"Just being considerate of your delicate morning moods," he replied, lowering the weight to his chest.
Az was right. Cassian was a morning person in every sense of the definition, and he normally delighted in irritating a grumpy Azriel. He heard his brother huff a laugh from above him.
"Considerate would have been beating me here so I didn't get pissed that I resisted the snooze button this morning," Az challenged.
Cassian forced air through his nose, trying to keep his temper at bay. What Az was saying was mild compared to their usual banter, but his emotions were chaotic enough since his fight with Julia yesterday.
"Well then, I'll see you in detention on Monday, sir." Cassian lifted the weight again, only to feel it being jerked upward toward the rack. "I wasn't d—"
"Get up," Azriel ordered, not blinking at the protest. When he made no move to stand, his brother gestured with his hand impatiently.
"Get up," he repeated. "Go tape your knuckles and find some gloves. I'll meet you in the sparring room."
And now his family was tired of his shit, too, apparently. He did as instructed, knowing he was on a thin rope with his brother at the moment.
Azriel was in the room rolling his neck in a stretch, and he wordlessly positioned himself to get started. Cassian mimicked his movements and waited patiently.
"Thought you may be interested in throwing the first, brother," he commented.
Az launched toward him, throwing punches toward Cassian's ribs and jaw. He successfully blocked the face shots, but his ribs took a couple of the quicker blows.
"Mother’s tits, Az," he grunted, as he shifted and collected himself.
“You’re in your head.”
Several additional punches rained down on his torso, and it took him far more effort than usual to evade them.
“I’m fine,” he bit out.
“Okay,” Azriel conceded quickly, his tone dismissive.
The intensity and speed of his punches increased significantly, causing Cassian to mindlessly block them however possible. He did so sloppily, and it didn’t go unnoticed. Azriel identified the weak spots immediately, and he focused his assault there.
Cassian had no choice but to retreat as he attempted to recover; only for his brother to take advantage of the unstable footing and swipe his legs out from under him with one of his own. He landed on his back with a loud thud, grimacing at the wind knocked from his chest and his wounded pride. Once his eyes opened and focused, he saw Az standing there with his hand extended to help him up.
“Fuck— I won’t be late again. Point taken,” he muttered.
A humorless chuckle came from Azriel.
“You know I don’t give a shit about that. But you’re lying to me about not being in your head.”
“So you beat the shit out of me?” he demanded impatiently.
“That’s the point. If you were focused, you’d beat me. Or at least block like you’ve ever trained a day in your fucking life,” he countered.
Cassian was seeing red. Azriel could be such a know-it-all little prick sometimes.
“If you’re trying to provoke me, it’s working.”
“I don’t know that I feel all that threatened, if I’m being honest. I like my odds today.”
Something like a growl left Cassian’s throat. He was too annoyed, too much of a mental mess to give a shit that he was taking the bait. His body shifted to face Azriel dead-on, mindlessly throwing combinations toward his brother. They were pretty immaculate, if you asked Cassian, but Azriel blocked each of them with flawless precision.
That was infuriating, too.
Rather than abandoning his technique altogether, he backed away to try and regain focus. Az smirked at him, looking as if he was barely putting an effort forth. Fucking asshole.
The man in front of him had always been a more than worthy opponent in the sparring ring; he and Rhys being two of the very few who actually posed a challenge at all. There was something about this that called to Cassian and spoke to his very DNA, which was why it frustrated him to no end that his performance so perfectly proved Azriel’s case. It was true that Cassian won far more often than he lost, making his lack of concentration all the more obvious.
"Wanna talk about it?" Azriel asked, squaring his body to defend any potential attacks from Cassian.
"Nothing to talk about," he retorted, launching for his opponent again.
Cassian finally felt like his rhythm was clicking into place, his body taking over almost entirely. His hits were flawless, and although Azriel's defense was still strong, he managed to land several blows to his body. He backed off some, only to have Az on him immediately. Gods, he was on today.
"You—" Azriel said between jabs, "are so— fucking— stubborn."
"And you—" Cassian defended, "are nosy today."
Azriel's nostrils flared in frustration, and he dropped his hands temporarily.
"Cassian, I'm just trying to help. You're the one that involved me in the first place when you sent that text last night. You could at least tell me why I'm lying for you," he challenged, bringing his hands back up to continue his onslaught.
His brother's words landed right where he was weakest, causing him to stumble. He recovered briefly with a growl, and Az succeeded in landing a hit square to his jaw. Rage barreled through him as he flexed and stretched the joint, his vision tunneling in on the man in front of him. He charged, wrapping up around Azriel's waist and tackling him brutally to the floor. It wasn't his best act of sportsmanship.
"What the FUCK, Cassian?" Azriel bellowed, his own temper flaring dangerously at the cheap retaliation.
His brother was the swiftest of the three of them, and he managed to get his legs beneath him enough to roll them over. He straddled Cassian's waist, pinning him with his weight and blocking any jabs thrown his way. His patience frayed quickly, and he lifted a scarred hand to slap Cassian across the cheek to gain his attention.
"Would you stop, you fucking savage? Look at yourself," he commanded, his annoyance toward Cassian blatant.
The strike to his cheek did its job in snapping him out of his mindless aggression. He peered up at Az as his elbows hit the mat beneath him, his hands raised in surrender. Azriel shifted off of his hips and settled on the mat nearby. He rested his forearms on his knees, and Cassian sat up in an identical posture. They took a few seconds to catch their breath before either of them said a word.
"I wouldn't know where to start," Cassian stated quietly, his gaze fixed on the mat in front of him.
"You told us that you and Julia fought. What happened?" The ire in Azriel's voice was gone completely.
He blew a long breath through his nose. "I asked her about going to Rhys and Feyre's for a little while. She got upset because it wasn't exactly the best way to spend date night, and it got heated. I was an asshole."
A short laugh left Azriel. "I figured as much. You always get mopey like this when you're being hard on yourself. What'd you say?"
"Well," he began, "I accused her of asking me to choose her over my family. I told her to stop being a victim and to stop holding me responsible for her insecurities."
"Shit," his brother muttered under his breath.
"Yeah. Then I left, and I drove around for a couple of hours to calm my nerves. That's when I texted you and Rhys that she wasn't coming, and I was on my way."
"Why didn't you show?"
Cassian looked sidelong at Azriel, his mouth tightening in a straight line as his only response.
"Yeah," Az responded quietly, his hand reaching out to clap Cassian on the shoulder.
Maybe he'd been a little hard on Az in his thoughts this morning. He underestimated how valuable it was to have someone who could read between the lines, eliminating the need to voice the things that were hardest.
"I ended up at Rita's, drinking whiskey and feeling sorry for myself. I'd been there about an hour, and of course, she walks through the door. Fucked me up instantly."
"Not Julia," Azriel clarified, but it wasn't really a question. He knew.
"Not Julia. We said hello, had a drink, and caught up. It was nice. Julia texted me and offered for me to stop by and talk, but I didn't have it in me. I felt like shit for not going, especially considering who I was with. That's why I texted you," he explained, choosing to omit that he sent the text from his car as he drove to Nesta's hotel room.
If he told him too much, he would be putting him in a shitty position with Elain, and he didn't want to make trouble for Az.
"Ah, I see. Understandable," Azriel replied as he stood, extending his hand to help Cassian stand as well.
He clasped his brother's hand firmly, pulling himself from the mat.
"Thanks, man," he finished as he removed his gloves, the action specific to their workout but somewhat symbolic, too. Azriel wasn't the enemy here.
They walked quietly to the locker room to shower and get dressed. He'd promised Az that he would help put together some fixtures at Elain's shop downtown, and he was grateful he'd had the sense to pack lightweight, casual clothes for the day. Once he was ready, he checked his phone to see a missed text from Julia.
Jules: I hope I don't wake you, but if you're up, I was hoping we could grab coffee this morning? Or lunch if that works better. I won't keep you long, I just hate how we left things. If not, I understand.
"Well, shit," he lamented, accidentally recruiting Azriel's attention in the process.
"What?"
He handed his phone over so that Az could read the text and finished packing up his things.
"Oof," Azriel empathized. "We did end earlier than usual. You could meet up with her before you meet me and El at the shop; maybe rip the bandaid off so it's not looming over you."
They walked to the parking lot as Cassian mulled it over. He wasn't sure he was mentally prepared for what she had to say, and he definitely didn't think he was ready to come clean about how he had spent his time the night before. That wasn't going to yield the mildest of reactions from Julia. All that considered, he supposed Azriel was right. It wasn't going to be any easier if he waited.
"You sure? I don't want to put you and El off for my bullshit."
"I'm sure. You're going to be miserable company if this stays on your mind all day," his brother insisted with a bump of his elbow.
"Wish me luck then."
His reply to Julia had been simple and friendly. He agreed to meet up, and they chose a small cafe near her apartment. Julia beat him there and had coffee waiting for him on the table. Cassian's guilt was drowning him already from the small gesture.
"Hey," she breathed when she saw him, no irritation in her expression.
She stood as he approached, and he wrapped her in a hug. Despite what his behavior communicated, he did care for Julia and hated that he was hurting her. She ended the embrace sooner than usual, but he understood. He'd been a colossal dick the night before, and he was lucky she didn't greet him with an unkind gesture instead.
"Thanks for coming, especially on short notice," she said as they sat. It was oddly formal.
"Of course. Jules, I'm so sor—" He trailed off at Julia's interruption.
"Wait. Can I go first?"
He nodded, unsure of what else to say or do. She fixed her eyes on her coffee, and he grabbed his own to busy his hands. He took a slow sip, his chest tightening at the fact that she'd ordered it exactly as he liked it. Extra light on the cream, two sugars. It was perfect, further highlighting how shitty he felt for how he'd treated her.
"I hate how our conversation went yesterday. I said a lot that I didn't mean, and I'm so sorry. I hope you know that I would never ask you to choose me over your family; not in a million years. If I gave that impression, I apologize."
"I know, Jules. I was an absolute dick, and I shouldn't have blown up at you the way I did," he assured her, reaching across the table to take her hand softly in his. "I'm really sorry for how I spoke to you."
"Thank you," she squeaked out, tears starting to pool along her lower eyelids.
He was so tempted to reach over and wipe them away, but he somehow got the impression that she wouldn't want him to do it. Their words were kind and sincere, but the energy around them was tense and uncomfortable.
"But," she continued, "I did some thinking. I think you were right about some things, even if your delivery wasn't ideal."
His body tensed, anxiety coursing through him. The direction of this conversation was hard to navigate.
"I realized that I am insecure about some things. For whatever reason, I've always been intimidated by your relationship with Nesta. I know that's something I need to work through somehow, I just didn't realize how much it would bother me until I was in a situation where I'd actually have to see her and be around both of you at the same time. I panicked."
Cassian's blood pressure spiked at hearing Nesta's name roll off her lips. He knew she would come up eventually, but he'd walked into this expecting to have his ass handed to him for how he'd talked to Julia. What he wasn't expecting, was to have Julia agree with him entirely.
"And I understand that. You shouldn't have had to say something for me to consider how that would feel for you. This isn't on you," he insisted, hoping to comfort her.
"It is on me, Cass. You can't fix that for me," she replied, chewing on her bottom lip as she considered how to continue. "You were right when you said your family isn't going anywhere, so I have to work through this if we have any shot together."
He swallowed thickly, totally at a loss for how to respond. It killed him to think she thought her insecurities, which were entirely valid, would be the Achilles heel in their relationship. He hated himself for making her fears an actual reality.
"Which is why," she paused, her lip trembling slightly as she spoke, "I think we should take a step back. I really, really care about you, but I think I need some space to work through all this. I know I threw the ultimatum out last night anyway, but I didn't want to leave it on those terms. That was unfair of me."
Cassian blinked at her, taking a second to realize what was happening. He'd expected that he would apologize for his behavior, that they would make up from their argument, and then he'd have to muster the courage to wreck everything again with his admission. He hadn't considered the possibility that she would take what he said to heart and keep their break-up in place for the purpose of self-improvement.
"I don't know that I would call it unfair. I deserved worse, to be honest."
"You think that, but you don't think you deserve much in the first place," she replied, cutting him to the quick with her very accurate assessment. Her voice quieted a little, her emotions laced throughout her words. "You're wrong, Cassian. You deserve way more than you give yourself credit for. You deserve to be happy, too."
He knew for a fact that he didn't deserve her kindness or her compassion, and it gutted him.
"Julia, I appreciate it, but you give me too much credit. Last night, I—"
"Stop. Please. We don't need to do this. I don't want you to rake yourself over the coals, and I don't want to fall down that same rabbit hole. This sucks enough," she insisted, her tone firm but not unkind.
Because he was a fucking coward, he relented, letting her bail him out when he didn't deserve a shred of her understanding.
"Okay, so we agree. We take a step back and focus on ourselves. Maybe in a couple of weeks we can meet for lunch or have dinner. We'll take it super slow and see where it takes us," she summarized, looking to him for his affirmation.
He rubbed her knuckles with his thumb, his chest tightening at the thought of losing her forever. This was the bed he'd made for himself, though. How he'd managed to fuck up so royally with such a sweet, genuine woman was a mystery, and it all seemed like a sick joke.
"You deserve the world, Jules. If we find our way back to each other, I hope I can be worthy of you," he told her, and he meant it.
The sight of her tears, falling in earnest at his words, would probably haunt him forever. Her grip tightened on his hand, her other raising to wipe her tears.
She gave a tense nod and sad smile before saying, "Thanks, babe. Walk me out?"
He stood silently, offering his hand and pulling her into his side. They walked that way to her car, his arm around her shoulders and hers wrapped tightly around his back. Cassian opened her door once they arrived, and she turned to hug him before getting in. He placed a gentle kiss to the top of her head as he let her go, and she slid into the driver's seat as he closed her door for her. Julia situated herself before looking up at him, and he offered her a weak smile as he waved her off.
The walk to his own car was somber, almost cold now that he and Julia had officially taken a step back from their relationship. Hurt coursed through him at what he lost, followed quickly by anger at himself for how he got here. What shook him the most was the realization that he'd fucked everything up, thrown caution to the wind entirely, only to be left completely alone in two days time when Nesta flew home. His entire life as he knew it had changed; all for a woman who kept leaving him over and over again, a woman who hadn't thought he was worth fighting for.
And somehow, the most disappointing part of the whole thing, was that he couldn't bring himself to regret it.
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gerdavonrinnlingen · 10 months ago
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First Lines Tag
Tagged by @phelfromgrace - thank youuuu :D
Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!) See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 authors!
Tagging: @tishinada, @pineaberry and @riajade01 ^^
1. Achromatic (Gingerrose, Spy Handler!Rose) Conspiracy meetings in seedy cantinas, breakneck chases through narrow urban canyons or at least mysterious meetings on foggy bridges - that's what Rose had envisioned when she had more or less begged General Organa to transfer her to the espionage department.
2. For a Fistful of Dollars (Gingerrose, Western AU) Fiery sparks flew up in the air, dancing like fireflies on a hot summer evening. Some returned into the red-hot fireplace, merging with the brightly glowing charcoal; others strayed from the fiery pit, landing on the cold floor, breathing out their short existence.
3. Deep Waters (Gingerpilot, Stranded) The first thing Poe noticed was the unmistakable stench of tibanna gas that filled the air of the cantina. It was the smell of cheap, low-quality blaster cartridges leaking gas. Stepping from the sweltering heat outside into the cool dive gave him goosebumps.
3. Never Alone (Gingerrose, Horror) Rose stared at her hands. They weren’t pretty. Short fingers, palms full of calluses and old cuts where her grip had slipped when using the hydrospanner, short, chewed off nails. She sighed and leaned against the wall of her cell, rubbing her wrists where there were bruises from the binders. It hurt, burned slightly when she brushed against the grazed skin, but she couldn’t stop touching it. 4. Edge of Night (Gingerrose, Spy!Hux) Rose felt a cold, desperate bead of sweat run down her back. An ashen taste spread in her mouth as she marched forward until she reached a door. It slid open with a low hissing sound. She stared at the dimly-lit hallway in front of her, slowed her step and gulped. There was a small door visible at the far end of it; that’s where they were going. Their final destination.
5. Red Salt (Gingerrose, Dark Fic) The air carried the scent of salt when Hux stepped out of the command shuttle; the sun beam reflected by the thin layer of salt on the ground made him squint. A mild, warm wind made the tails of his greatcoat flutter slightly. With the back of his gloved hand he wiped over his mouth and pulled the corners of his mouth down. He caught a whiff of oil, hot metal, and molten iron emanating from the Resistance Base in front of him, or rather from  the destruction of its blast doors.
6. Der Wolf und der Fuchs (Kylux, Smut) Hux tugged at his black leather glove, and straightened his back as he walked towards hangar 23. The only sound he heard were the heavy boots of the Stormtroopers following him. His Stormtroopers, he thought with satisfaction. He had finally arrived at the top… the Finalizer was a magnificent ship. He had gone over the technical specifications as soon as Snoke had promoted him to General. He brushed the two stripes on his greatcoat's sleeve. He shouldn’t allow himself to be proud – this was nothing, just another stepping stone.
7. Heterotopia (Gingerrose, Prisoner!Hux) The worst part was the humming. It wasn’t the scratchy clothes they had given him, nor the lack of privacy. It was the kriffing humming of the force field – the reddish energy wall was flickering slightly. Making a soft clicking sound every time the oscillator kicked in. Hux slowly opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling of his cell. It was painted in the red light of the force field, he could see the rivets above him.
8. Ginger Gears (Gingerrose, Spy!Rose) Rose wiped the sweat running down from her forehead away with the back of her hand. She put the hydro-spanner into her mouth and leaned down on the small rectangle hole in the floor. Behind her she could hear a mouse droid scurrying past her with its tell-tale beeping. She opened the top-most button of her dark grey First Order uniform. Finally she saw the chips she was looking for. With a few quick movements she had pulled them out of the energy node and replaced them with chips from her pocket.
9. The Robot and the Old Crank (Detroit Become Human, Friendship) Hank exhaled as he felt the heavy raindrops falling on his head, he waited for a moment before he opened his umbrella. His eyes burned from staring into the computer screen, perhaps he should’ve used the eye drops Jean had brought him years ago. Either that or he should get glasses like Bob Fowler … but Bob looked like a dork with them to be honest.
10. Photophobia (Gingerrose, Companion Piece) Seeing his subordinates working diligently while he stood calmly in the centre of the bridge of the Destructor was immensely satisfying – for a moment Hux almost felt content. Of course it didn’t last; the beeping of the priority comm channel startled everybody around him. Hux himself didn’t move, didn’t allow himself to show how much the call of this child irritated him.
11. The Cruellest Thing (Gingerrose, Companion Piece) Rose Tico used to daydream about all the heroic deeds she would accomplish when she first joined the Resistance. But it took her only a couple of days to realise that the rebels were already full on skilled pilots like her sister, hot-blooded daredevils and heroic leaders like Poe Dameron. They were in desperate need of grease monkeys though, people who could fix blasters, fighters and jammed doors to command centres.
12. Home (Finn/Rey/Hux, Body Switch) The lift doors slid open and revealed an surprisingly unostentatious throne room. There was red tapestry on the walls. The black throne and the lack of ornament were a stark contrast to the gaudy golden robes Snoke was wearing. Rey straightened herself and made her way towards the brightly lit centre of the room. Kylo Ren walked right behind her like an uncanny shadow. She could feel his gaze upon her and a cold shiver ran down her spine.
13. Ryloth: The Return of the Sith (SWTOR, SW/Vette/Quinn) Everything felt numb and cold. Slowly, very slowly an almost painful tingle spread through Badesh’s chest. The tingle became a burning pain that made him grit his teeth. He felt the urge to made the uncomfortable feeling stop, he wanted to push away whoever was tormenting him. But something hindered his movement, Badesh tried to focus and used the Force to… he almost blacked out from sheer exertion. Suddenly he was released and Badesh fell hard on a metallic floor.
14. Big Bet Game (SWTOR, Vette/Quinn) The waiter banged the glass with Tarisian ale carelessly on the table, the dark liquid spilled over and joined the other stains on the wooden surface. Quinn looked up from his data pad and turned up his mouth. The waiter sneered at him and left. Quinn put the pad away – there had been no messages from Agent Shan or Lord Saikrâm. He throat felt parched and he sighed while staring at the ale. With death-defying courage he lifted the slightly smudgy glass and took a gulp, the swill didn’t taste that bad to his surprise.
15. Requiem For A Dream (SWTOR, SW/Theron Shan) Theron rubbed his hands together while he waited for the large holo map to reveal the location of the mysterious super-weapon. Snowflakes swirled around him, he shivered a little when he felt the snow touch his scalp. He allowed himself to take another look of Copero – the beaches at the feet of the mountains, the shimmering ocean and the lush flora and of course the majestic Cling'geam'riro alps … but it gave him no joy.
16. Baggage from Iokath (SWTOR, SW/Quinn) Darth Naqâz was usually an eloquent man. During his tenure as the Emperors Wrath his sharp tongue had been as infamous as his deadly lightsaber. But his wit failed completely him when Lana Beniko introduced two would-be assassins who had snuck in into the Alliance base on Iokath. He just glanced at the blonde woman but when he set his eyes on the dark-haired man who was brought before him by Alliance soldiers his eyes widened and he gasped: It was none other than Malavai Quinn, his former second-in-command.
17. A Night on Tatooine (SWTOR, Vette/Quinn) 'Tatooine sunsets are without equal. What a pity that one must stand on the planet to see them' Quinn couldn’t remember where he had read those lines, but these words rang very true as he put a soothing gel on his sunburnt skin. He sighed as he saw his red face in the small oval mirror; he carefully applied gel on his cheeks and his nose when a loud banging on the bathroom door made him flinch.
18. Rogue Agent (SWTOR, SW/Theron Shan) The Manaan sun shone brightly, and Theron Shan squinted as he scanned the promenade for his contact. The salt hung heavy in the chilly air. Selkath and off-worlders walked past him. Out of habit he listened what they were talking about.
“… the next shipment of kolto is due in three days,” said a green-skinned female Twi’lek.
“Of course. After that we have to negotiate a new deal – the demand for kolto is rising,” the Selkath next to her said. “And with the recent attacks on Tython and Korriban …”
19. Sith Relics (SWTOR, SW/Quinn, Smut) Darth Naqâz left the ship’s training room, his robes were soaked from his sweat and were becoming more and more uncomfortable. He had hoped that a prolonged training session would help with his growing unease – but even after he had slashed his way through three training droids he couldn’t dispel the tension that had taken hold of him in the past week.
20. Time and what became of it (SWTOR, SW/Quinn) The shrill beeping of the chronometer rang through the room. Quinn exhaled and fumbled the shrieking device on his bedstand until he finally hit the off button. He closed his eyes for a moment before he finally got up. He slowly entered the tiny bathroom he had in his own personal quarters. Quinn activated the hydro tap and splashed water in his face. He looked at himself in the rectangular mirror above the washbasin. Had these lines in his face always been there? Or hadn’t he noticed before?
As for choosing my favorite opening line... that's hard - perhaps "Red Salt" or "For a Fistful of Dollars" because there are no hands people stare at xD
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louder-than-love · 4 years ago
Note
1-100 pls 🙈
HOLY FUCKING SHIT I DIDNT EXPECT THIS but thanks for all the interest though lmao :D
1 - Who was the last person you texted?
if tumblr messages count then it was my sweet friend @way-beyond-wildest-imaginations :)
2 - When is your birthday?
10th of October
3 - Who do you want to be with right now?
a friend
4 - What sports do you play?
N O N E BECAUSE I’M L A Z Y
5 - Who is the first person in your contacts?
a friend called Ahsen
6 - What is your favorite song as of the moment?
Sappy by Nirvana or Wo die wilden Maden graben by Casper
7 - If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with?
someone who can help me get out of there as fast as possible
8 - What do you feel right now?
joy because I’m finally listening to the new Foo Fighters album and it’s amazing
9 - What chocolate is your favorite?
milk chocolate
10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have?
0,00
11 - Why did you create a Tumblr account?
end of January 2017, I don’t know the exact date right now sorry
12 - Who is your favorite blogger?
well, @rearviewmirror10 @rock-basstard @coolbuttmetal @wellwelldroogieboy post some quality stuff so I’d say they are my favourite bloggers? idk though
13 - Where do you want to be right now?
at a concert
14 - What do you want to be in the future?
happy and satisfied with myself :)
15 - When was the last time you cried? Why?
like 1 minute ago because Dave Grohl is perfect (yes I’m an ultimate fangirl)
16 - Are you happy?
sometimes more, sometimes less
17 - Who do you miss?
being thin lmao
18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life?
why not
19 - What was the best thing you were given?
my grandma bought me a so called “Lira”, which is a Turkish coin made out of gold and many Albanian girls get some of them when they get married, anyways she bought one for me before she died so I can wear it on a necklace or smth if I should ever get married and this is just one of the most precious things I ever received from someone.
20 - Who was the last person who called you?
my father’s friend haha
21 - What is your favorite dish?
pizza, lasagna, those Asian noodles... there’s a lot of stuff
22 - Who is your bestfriend?
on tumblr? @rearviewmirror10 @inside-a-break @wellwelldroogieboy @iowainc @way-beyond-wildest-imaginations they’re all really cool people and I like them a lot and it’s a pity that they’re all living like 1898873249874832km away from me
23 - What is your biggest regret?
I basically wasted my whole youth and I experienced like almost nothing and I feel like I’m going to regret this a lot later
24 - Have you ever cheated on your partner?
which partner?
25 - Who do you spend crazy moments with?
my brother
26 - Name someone pretty
Stone Gossard
27 - Who was the last person you hugged?
I don’t remember, probably my friend
28 - What kind of music do you listen to?
mostly rock, metal and grunge. But also some hip-hop/rap idk I like a lot of stuff but that’s like what I listen to the most
29 - Are you over your past?
I think so?
30 - Who is the last person in your contacts?
my neighbour called Vivian
31 - What kind of person do you want to date?
someone who is nice and humourous, with a good heart and a kind soul, someone who I feel comfortable around and most importantly: someone who likes me back  (good joke huh)
32 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night?
most of the time
33 - From whom was the last text message you received?
my father
34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt?
JEANS hell no I don’t wear skirts
35 - How’s your heart?
idk? my physical heart ist fine I hope?
36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”?
no
37 - Do you like someone as of the moment?
I like Josh Klinghoffer :)
38 - What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend?
i never had one
39 - Do you have any phobias?
not that I know
40 - Did you try to change for a person?
yes
41 - What’s the nicest thing have you given to someone?
Well, a few friends and I bought a concert ticket for a friend for her 18th birthday earlier this year and she really really enjoyed it so that was probably it? But idk, I’m that type of person who rather gives smaller gifts
42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship?
never have been in one so
43 - Are you in a good or bad mood?
In a neutral one tending towards happy because the new Foo Fighters album is so good
44 - Name someone you can’t live without.
my brother, I don’t know what I would do without him, life wouldn’t be the slightest bit enjoyable without him (I know this is cringey but it’s true)
45 - Describe your dream date.
watching tv shows, eating pizza and listening to music together? I’m not that much of a fancy person
46 - Describe your dream wedding
it would be perfect if John Frusciante was performing there and it would be even more perfect if I was marrying him lmaoooooo
47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s?
0,00
48 - Have you ever been kissed?
romantically? no. I’ve only had those little kisses you do with friends, nothing special
49 - How long is your longest relationship?
never been in one
50 - Do you regret your past?
some aspects of it
51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else?
yes
52 - Have you ever cried over someone?
yes
53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone?
no I don’t really hold grudges
54 - Are you a crybaby?
sometimes
55 - Do people praise you for your looks?
people only praise my shit hair and my flannel shirts because everything else on me is ugly
56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t?
yes
57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret?
yes
58 - Do you like getting hurt?
who the hell likes to get hurt lmao?
59 - Does anyone hate you?
probably
60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”?
no, I don’t slap people because violence doesn’t lead to anything
61 - What hair color do you prefer?
all of them, I’d like to have black or red hair though
62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it?
my appearance, my demotivation, my low self-esteem, I also wish I was less of a hypocrite because I tend to hide a lot of shit to not hurt anyone. I also wish I could be able to express what I honestly think of a situation/people/anything else without being afraid to do so, that shit only leads to a lot of bottled up anger and it sucks
63 - Do you love someone as of the moment?
I love John Frusciante and Chris Cornell an Eddie Vedder
64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself?
who hasn’t?
65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school?
I’m not at school anymore heheh
66 - Can you live without internet?
NO like my whole social life is taking place on the internet at the moment
67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone?
Porch by Pearl Jam would remind me of my special someone IF I HAD ONE
68 - Are you good at holding back your tears?
depends but not really
69 - Are you a crybaby?
sometimes
70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical?
yes many many times
71 - Are you a KPOP fan?
no
72 - Do you study hard?
not at all
73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love?
not yet but I would do this at any time
74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight?
I wish
75 - Have you ever ridden a boat?
yes
76 - Did you have an accident last year?
luckily no
77 - What kind of person are you?
a person who is obsessed with music I guess
78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone?
yeah but I would NEVER do it
79 - Have you ever been jealous?
yeah
80 - How can you prove your love to someone?
by trusting them fully because I can’t trust anyone fully lmao
81 - What are you thinking right now?
“stop oversharing your stupid shit on tumblr bitch no one cares”
82 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts?
my cousin Ajlin
83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase?
yeah
84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel?
i don’t know
85 - Did you ever badmouth someone?
many many times
86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone?
not really because I give in too fast in order to avoid conflicts
87 - Do you have trust issues?
kind of
88 - Are you broken-hearted?
not really
89 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love”?
Courtney Love because Love is her last name and I wish it was mine too
90 - Do you think all the pain is worth it?
no
91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”?
when I have an optimistic moment, then I do
92 - Who do you want to marry?
John Frusciante
93 - Do you believe in destiny?
not really
94 - Have you ever thought “I already found my soulmate”?
yeah but I’m probably not right
95 - How do you look right now?
shitty as always lmao, but if you mean outfit then: I’m wearing a white baseball shirt with long grey sleeves and blue skinny jeans
96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies?
not sure...
97 - Have you found your true love?
does John Frusciante count?
98 - What should you be doing right now?
sleeping
99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends.
Doesn’t Exist
100 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough?
yes
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the-rift1 · 4 years ago
Note
1-100 :3
1 - Who was the last person you texted?
Rowan
2 - When is your birthday?
May 20th
3 - Who do you want to be with right now?
Sigh.. a lot of people. How about I give you a number? I have at least twothat I want to be with right now.
4 - What sports do you play?
I bike around campus, and I used to play tennis. I’m going to play badmintonnext semester with friends so hopefully that will be fun!
5 - Who is the first person in your contacts?
~Fear Me~ Meow (Tori); however, if you’re discounting strange usernames,then it’s actually Aaron.
6 - What is your favorite song as of the moment?
Gosh, I can’t really give you a song so much as an entire OST of Transistor,the game. But if you want a legitimate song, I have to say.. Andie Isalie’scover of unfucktheworld à https://youtu.be/8HpL-Q-_OWo
It’s probably going to be an all-time favorite, it hasn’t gotten old for meafter listening to it over a thousand times.
7 - If you werestranded on an island, who do you wish to be with?
Uh.. no one? I would just give up and die.
8 - What do you feel right now?
Awful. The worst of depression ever. It’s an effort to do anything, and ittook almost everything to not miss the service event this morning. I’ve criedthree times today already, and three last night.. I think it’s just acombination of stress and friends leaving and fear of being alone like it wasin high school.
9 - What chocolate is your favorite?
70-80% chocolate is the best. Also, drinkable chocolate at around 50-70% isalso legit.
10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have?
Four.
11 - Why did you create a Tumblr account?
In the very beginning, it was because my friend told me to and basicallysaid it was the best thing ever and also I was gradually delving into thedoctor who fandom. But that quickly turned into memes, and one of my pastusernames, lgchinadragon, are forever immortalized in one of the memes.
12 - Who is your favorite blogger?
*checks tumblr crushes* looks like it’s @tingletanglebob and @emospaceboytied at 13% lol but if I want to be honest, @a-dragon-from-space also has topquality content that I love too :3
13 - Where do you want to be right now?
Illinois, although I would be a popsicle tbh. Maybe the core of the sun.That’s cool too.
14 - What do you want to be in the future?
A doctor/researcher that animates/draws/musics during their free time
15 - When was the last time you cried? Why?
5 minutes ago, because I’m fucking depressed and I need a hug.
16 - Are you happy?
Bruh
17 - Who do you miss?
Many people.. My grandpa, my past friends.. now that I say it outloud, Iguess, it’s not that much… just people with a whole lot of worth to me.
18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life?
Hmm.. Yes. But, a lot of things would be rather similar. Just small changes.
19 - What was the best thing you were given?
Snerkt I could go one way with this, but hugs and cuddles are the bestthings ever given to me.
20 - Who was the last person who called you?
My mom.
21 - What is your favorite dish?
Dry-style stir-fried pork intestines.. Uh, not sure if that was a very goodtranslation of what I was trying to say, but yeah. Sounds disgusting, but it isthe best thing ever. Also my mom’s whole fish dish.  
22 - Who is your best friend?
I don’t know anymore. They’re best friends to me, but I’m probably not tothem anymore.
23 - What is your biggest regret?
Getting angry at Aaron. Getting angry at people I love in general… I alwaysregret whatever I do when that happens.
24 - Have you ever cheated on your partner?
Hell naw, that’s kind of hard when you don’t have one lmao
25 - Who do you spend crazy moments with?
Define crazy. I haven’t had that many crazy moments in my life, so, no oneyet?
26 - Name someone pretty.
@emospaceboy
27 - Who was the last person you hugged?
My mom
28 - What kind of music do you listen to?
Instrumental, game soundtracks, lo-fi techno thing I can’t describe but inlove with a ghost style, rock, j-pop, theme songs, dodie and andie stuff, technoswing, artists like kate nash and sara bareilles, and generally ‘soft’ stuff
29 - Are you over your past?
Maybe. No. No, I don’t think so yet. Maybe one day. I can’t forgive myselfyet.
30 - Who is the last person in your contacts?
Zoha.. hmm, I haven’t talked to her in a long while. She’s probably partying24/7..
31 - What kind of person do you want to date?
Someone that understands me, and will be by my side whenever I need them,and will need me just as much.
32 - Do you have trouble sleeping at night?
Sometimes.
33 - From whom was the last text message you received?
My mom.
34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt?
Jeans, all the way. I hate wearing skirts, or dresses for that matter.
35 - How’s your heart?
Dying. Painful. Bleeding. I’m wrapping it up in gauze and hope that no onecan hear it screaming.
36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”?
Nope! At least, not yet. Who knows.. (I say that as if I will ever have ashot at getting one)
37 - Do you like someone as of the moment?
Yeah man, I like all of my friendos in college and here too!
38 - What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend?
Nothing? Uh.. maybe something like, “How’s it going? Want to hang outsometime this summer?” We’re on pretty good terms, I think.
39 - Do you have any phobias?
My main fear is abandonment. Yeah, I’m not scared of spiders or snakes oranything of that sort.
40 - Did you try to change for a person?
Yeah, all the time. If I didn’t, I would be a cold hard ass all the timetbh.
41 - What’s the nicest thing have you given to someone?
Hmm, my drawings? Maybe my handmade birthday cards.. The definition of ‘nicest’is very vague, and I don’t know if you mean it as ‘expensive’ or how mucheffort I put into it myself.
42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship?
Honestly, yes.. Wait I was thinking of the wrong one.. nope, not at all.
43 - Are you in a good or bad mood?
Have you been reading, my dude?
44 - Name someone you can’t live without.
My parents
45 - Describe your dream date.
HMMM, it would be like an entire day of going to strange places, exploringmaybe, grabbing lunch at a quaint café, and then going to this one chocolateshop that has drinkable chocolate and is absolutely delicious, and thenwatching favorite shows cuddling, and then maybe go and drive out to see stars ifthe weather is nice. And holding hands. I like holding hands.
46 - Describe your dream wedding.
I actually don’t want a ton of people? I not fond of social gatherings andthe thought of a formal wedding kind of scares me.
47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s?
zilchhhh
48 - Have you ever been kissed?
yep
49 - How long is your longest relationship?
A year? Year and a half? Around that time, I think
50 - Do you regret your past?
Yes.
51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else?
Depends on how much they mean to me.
52 - Have you ever cried over someone?
I have.
53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone?
Yeah. Myselfff
54 - Are you a crybaby?
Usually, not.. but I will cry during movies and tv shows like StevenUniverse for sure
55 - Do people praise you for your looks?
Uh, I guess….
56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t?
So many times..
57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret?
What’s your definition of bad here? The worst thing for me is torrenting Isuppose, I don’t regret that.
58 - Do you like getting hurt?
Hurt, like physically hurt, like falling? I don’t really mind that.Emotionally hurt, hell naw. I mean we get kind of masochistic because I goinsane but yeah, in general, no.
59 - Does anyone hate you?
Probably. Yes. Actually, yes. I can think of one person.
60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”?
Bruh, I have never ever slapped anyone.
61 - What hair color do you prefer?
Auburn is a beautiful color.
62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it?
I want to be slightly taller and lose some weight.
63 - Do you love someone as of the moment?
Yeah man.
64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself?
More than a thousand times.
65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school?
Sure.
66 - Can you live without internet?
If I can still listen to music, then yes.
67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone?
There’s a lot, but Grey or Blue by Jaymay is one of them.
68 - Are you good at holding back your tears?
Sometimes, yes.
69 - Are you a crybaby?
Please see question 54.
70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical?
All the time yoo
71 - Are you a KPOP fan?
Nah, more of a J-pop mainly because I am a lot more familiar with Japanesethan Korean.
72 - Do you study hard?
Yes.
73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone youlove?
Yes.
74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight?
Nope, but maybe one day? Who knows.
75 - Have you ever ridden a boat?
Yes! I don’t get seasick :D
76 - Did you have an accident last year?
Car accident? Nope.
77 - What kind of person are you?
Hmm, I’m like a turtle. I’ll open up to you eventually, unless I approachyou first; then I’m pretty open from the start, and sometimes I drive offpeople because I’m way too blunt or get too close or something, idk.. I’m anice person in general, I’ll do you a favor if you ask politely.
78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone?
Yep.
79 - Have you ever been jealous?
How could I not?
80 - How can you prove your love to someone?
Gifts, kisses, cuddles, sticking around with them.
81 - What are you thinking right now?
Whether I should eat or nap.
82 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts?
Ayah. Huh, haven’t talked to her since college started either.
83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase?
Um, yeah, but it seems they’re erasing themselves more than I want to and Ihave a hard time recounting things in general if they’re a year or older.
84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how youfeel?
Yes.
85 - Did you ever badmouth someone?
My roommate, all the time. (sorry bro, you seem like a nice person but likehygiene and cleanliness man, comon)
86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone?
Yeah
87 - Do you have trust issues?
HELL YEAH
88 - Are you broken-hearted?
Right now? I suppose.
89 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions“love”?
Rowan. Hmm…
90 - Do you think all the pain is worth it?
Worth it, for life? Worth what? Pain is only worth it for people that meanthe world to me, and for people that I have obligations to.
91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”?
Yes. But I also believe that that phrase doesn’t happen all the time andsometimes people need to work to get to it.
92 - Who do you want to marry?
My dude, I haven’t thought that far in life yet. Honestly I think I woulddie an old hermit.
93 - Do you believe in destiny?
No. Uh.. yes.. kinda..
94 - Have you ever thought “I already found my soulmate”?
Yes.
95 - How do you look right now?
White, blue-striped flannel with red thin lines, black dress pants, flipflops and socks, glasses, short straight hair down to my jaw, a black and redwatch on my left wrist.
96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies?
I don’t know.. I carry a lot of feelings with me, so I guess not for me.
97 - Have you found your true love?
Maybe? Probably not.
98 - What should you be doing right now?
Writing and researching a paper on Chinese healthcare. Unfortunately, it’sridiculously hard because the Chinese government isn’t as open as othercountries’ would be.
99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends.
Victoria.
100 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough?
All the time, 24/7, woot woot
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