Greedling's introduction is actually really funny because Greed does the typical evil possession rant about "your friend's gone I'm the only one left!" and Ed looks into his eyes midfight and is like "I know Ling's still in there" and it seems like the set up to some long epic struggle where Ed will have to reach out to Ling to prove he's still alive and help him overpower Greed
And then maybe two hours later Greed tracks Ed and Al down like "hey I have a message from Ling could you give it to Lan Fan for us? No clue what it says but that's probably fine. anyway don't try to foil our evil plans! or do I don't actually give a shit. later losers."
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this is literally the “okay now let’s do a silly one” of concerts
silly in the totally serious and fucked up sense. btw.
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just kill me
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2023 reads
The Spider And Her Demons
YA Australian urban fantasy/horror
about a Malaysian-Chinese girl who’s half spider-demon, just trying to keep her head down and survive high school
when she accidentally kills and eats a man in front of the most popular girl at school, they strike up a strange friendship and she starts to learn more about herself and the supernatural world
aroacespec/sapphic ish
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remembering when people would call the dhmis number and duck cried when someone did an impression of him. i think about that a lot 😭
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insane rant under the cut 🫶
Daniel is obviously going through a #moment right now so I can't really speak for the other reputation era cullings (unfollowing people) but the only one I have 0 doubts about is Zak. like imagine having the kind of temperament & patience that would put saints to shame, playing the: no, it's fine. I'm unscathed, it's all business, I get it, the entirety of my career is just collateral damage and I’ll take that in stride and its fine!!!!!! part so! Well! Like!!!! Down to a T and your wretched, fugly fucking nightmare of an ex-boss won't shut up about you, wont stop making sly, unnecessary comments unprompted- when discussing his own drivers, when discussing other teams, when discussing other fucking racing series. And you've been gone for 9 months and it's fine. You're determined to make it fine even when it's not. You're fine because it's a cut-throat sport. You're fine because you HAVE to be fine, there was never an alternative. Fine is survival. You're fine because you've been through this before (except you haven't) when you left Red Bull and Christian, jilted, said [and these are direct quotes despite how insane they seem]
“I have to admit it’s kind of been like trying to convince a girl to go out with you that’s been pretty reticent. It’s felt like that." <insane btw
“In the end we gave Daniel everything he wanted and asked for and it still wasn’t enough.”
“We’ve bent over backwards to make it happen"
And Christian said all of that while you still had 4 more months with Red Bull left. And Christian was legitimately scorned (and, terribly, he may even had the right to be because he asked you to drive him on his wedding day and he bought your nephew the same car he bought his son and he still calls your wins his favourite races), he told people as much, probably let on more than he intended to when he told the media that you told him you’re leaving A DAY before renault anounced your contract, and the proposition was so preposterous he thought you were provoking him. And he said you're running from a fight and he snidely said he still doesn't understand why you left in 2018 and 2019 and 2020 and 2021 and 2022 (<no this is not a joke) but Christian also congratulated you when you ended Renault’s 10 year podium drought, said the podium is where you belong. He congratulated you on your second podium even though that race ended in a dnf for Max and Alex finished last.
You’re fine because you’ve been through this before (except you haven’t) when you left Renault. Cyril doesn’t speak to you for weeks after the announcement is made and when he does speak TO you and ABOUT you it’s acrimonious. But his vitriol is laced with praise, he tells the media you’ll regret leaving a team which has been made more competitive by your own labours and when you’re out of his team and he’s out of the sport he meets up with you to deliver on a drunken bet made in 2019.
And you're media trained, and chillingly diplomatic for someone with such a carefree brand and you wear the horrors so fucking well, you wear it elegantly, with grace. And you shake hands and you smile when you’re supposed to and everything is made fine by the sheer force of will. Until you’re injured. Actually injured, less than 24 hours after you told the media that you didn’t need the break, that you were sick with this ubiquitous eagerness to be back all throughout summer. And you’re out again. And all your fugly fucking rat of an ex boss had to do was not use the injury that will put you out for at least 3 weeks as a vicious one liner to undermine someone else. I have no doubt that’s what did it for him :))))))
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im very normal about the end of silver’s story in sonic 06 because 99% of the time whenever he talks he does so in a way that puts so much emphasis and feeling into what he says like you can tell when this guy believes what he’s saying and when he’s uncertain it is blatantly obvious
so when he says “you’re my friend… right?” to Blaze you have to understand how much this fucks me up like this little hedgehog was so determined to save the future that he would’ve killed sonic if it meant fixing everything but he STILL wasn’t sure if he could even call Blaze his friend after everything they had been through together
and she’s like the only person he feels like he can really rely on throughout most of the game!!! he trusts Mephiles yes but Blaze was with him at the start of the game (and even before that) AND she was with him at the very end of his playthrough. he confides in her when he’s having doubts about game ending Sonic!!! he didn’t want to lose her at the end of the game!!! and he fell to his knees after he did!!! she was the person he was closest with and then he lost her!!! do you see why im so normal about this???
i don’t care that im not saying anything new here i will yell about hedgehogs until the end of my days and i’ve said it once and i’ll say it again there is not nearly enough silver and blaze content on this platform and by golly i am going to do something about it
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thinking about my friend @whats-a-terrarium's post about eiffel wanting to go out on a star wars reference (i.e. that he was going to say "i love you" to hera, expecting her to complete the reference with "i know.") and i fully believe that's true. i don't think he would say it so directly unless it was as a reference. (and i do still believe the framing of the scene itself is a meta reference, knowing that the writers were big fans of the new doctor who and the way it evokes "if it's my last chance to say it, rose tyler, i-") but, that said, it also gives me an opportunity to talk about something i usually don't.
eiffel's sacrifice in the finale is selfish. it's his autonomy, and his choice, and hera respects that, but she's the one who has to pull the trigger and wipe his mind, and he knows this, knowing all of her personal baggage about identity and memory. to then, if you accept this, follow that up with a confession-that's-also-a-reference, expecting her to complete it in someone else's words, regardless of the sincerity... that's also selfish, and that's why it resonates as characterization. i believe it's true because of what that signifies.
this is one of the main reasons i've always felt eiffel has to get his memory back - because that's a set-up, not a resolution. he's not cured of being doug eiffel, of his desire to escape himself, of his impulse to self-destruct, of his need to filter the things he can't say through the familiarity of narrative. the point of giving eiffel his memory back, to me, is that he is always himself, that self-improvement is a constant project with no reset button. eiffel has always had a problem with selective memory, and with using it to evade difficult conversations and responsibilities.
people often point out that eiffel seems more soft-spoken after losing his memory, but everything else aside: he literally runs everything in his brain through the filter of pop culture. imagine suddenly not having access to your primary method of communication. the language is there, but the context is not. the circumstances surrounding eiffel's memory loss will weigh on hera, and i think - in an inverted sort of way to constructive criticism - part of working through that is in eiffel learning how to communicate without that emotional crutch. he can get it back once he's done.
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I dont think Mob is naive as much as he's socially unaware, like the reason why he trusts Reigen so blindly is a bit more complex than just him being naive
Cause Mob reached out to Reigen because he was desperate to find someone like him, someone who understood his psychic specific issues, someone that could truly know what he's feeling and going through and give him guidance and support
Post incident Mob's thinking process was something along the lines of my powers hurt people -> my powers are bad -> my powers (my emotions, my instincts, myself) cannot be trusted
So he lost all confidence and trust in his own actions, resigning to being as passive as possible to avoid any further damage to anyone else, thus he started doubting his own perception of reality too
He's a kid already struggling with being ostracised for being socially inept, who just got traumatised and all of his insecurity increased by the tenfold, he doesn't know how to process what he's going through. He needs help.
And here comes Reigen, seemingly reliable, a responsible adult in a child's eyes, someone who claims he can understand him
Even tho Reigen doesnt. But it doesn't matter, because Mob finds comfort in his words and takes them to heart
Even if Reigen doesn't fully get it, even if he doesn't see the bigger picture, even if his advice isn't always the best
Eventually, Mob grows up, realises Reigen isn't as honest as he seemed through his 11 year old perspective, but like most things, he refuses to acknowledge it on a deeper level
Mob knows, but never tells Reigen, never thinks about what all those lies mean to him (ofc until he forces himself to face those doubts regarding Reigen, to properly acknowledge both of their flaws and accept them as they are, I should scream into the void about Confession Arc more God)
Due to his lack of trust in himself, Mob has relied on Reigen for years now to shape his moral compass, his thoughts, his decisions
Because well, Reigen lies, sure, but he isnt a bad person. When he hurts Mob, it isn't intentional or with ill intent, he still wants the best for him, what's the issue?
Except that it stunts Mob's growth. He doesn't develop as a person, doesn't have goals or wishes or ambitions, can't make choices on his own, he doesn't even let himself acknowledge his own emotions, he refuses to let himself exist
But Mob realises in time that he wants more than that, he wants to become better and be independent and feel again
Still, he puts the acknowledgement of the lies on hold for as long as he can, unwilling to question the way things are
This can make him feel a little naive, he constantly relies on Reigen and trusts his decisions and raises questions rarely until separation arc when he finally puts his foot down
And I do think that moment is the most resounding proof we have that Mob knows and allows himself to be used by Reigen, not wanting to shake the status quo, until he gets fed up
I mentioned the social ineptitude at the beggining but idk if I should even elaborate on that, you've watched the show, you know what I mean
He's blunt and can't read social cues or tonality that well and can't speak in front of crowds and is overall pretty awkward and I do think some people conflate that with naivety
Mob is still a child, he doesnt fully understand how the world works at the ripe age of 14 years old, but some folks take that as him being inherently naive/innocent/whatever which I don't find true
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Trigun Thoughts Vol. 1 Pt. 2
So now that I've finished with volume 1, I just wanted to write down a couple thoughts I've had and neat things to point out so far
When I was watching Stampede, I took note of a few kind of textbook avoidant behaviours Vash engages in, and lo and behold, here he is in the manga displaying even more of them. I'll list out a few here.
In order, we have:
Casually asking for a time limit on the interaction (ie. "How long do I have to keep this up before I can leave?")
Attempting to lose people in a crowd
Leaving without saying anything (and as a bonus, dreading being recognized in public)
Over-indulging or over-involving oneself in social events to create a viable excuse to leave suddenly (in this case, he uses alcohol as a reason to "pass out")
Sleeping to avoid unwanted conversation
Escaping to the bathroom to get away for a bit (and also to grumble about it haha)
Playing off sincere reactions by deliberately allowing them to be misinterpreted to avoid personal questions
It's really obvious, even this early in the manga, that Vash is intentionally avoiding prolonged interaction with people, and only involving himself in situations by necessity. He doesn't like attention on himself - the only reason he intentionally draws it is to divert it away from others.
The reason for this is a bit muddy though. It does seem that Vash doesn't particularly enjoy being caught up in drama, and it is also very likely he wishes to get in and out of places as quickly as possible to avoid them getting caught up in his drama too. It may even be that he finds prolonged socializing kind of tiring; that he needs a certain amount of time to himself.
But then there's also this bit, shortly after the celebration, where he pretends to pass out.
This brings in a bit of a guilt aspect to it. It likely has to do with July, or maybe it's due to something else (at this point, we can't say), but I think it's notable that Vash cuts things off shortly before they become intimate. He can play along to make others happy and to share in their joy for a bit, but the second things get too personal or focused on him, he will quietly slip away. Now this is specifically an instance of physical intimacy, but I think it'd probably hold for emotional intimacy as well, given the continuous avoidance and misdirection he does to prevent too many questions.
I made some commentary on Stampede Vash's self-punishing behaviours - specifically, the way he denies himself food. I don't want to get too into it because I don't know if everyone reading this has seen Stampede, but food is framed as something to be shared in the show - so, denying himself food is denying himself the right to share with others, which is denying himself belonging, which is denying himself any semblance of intimacy. (It means other things too, as food-sharing is associated with Rem, but I don't want to get too into it here.)
Vash in the manga doesn't seem to have the same issues with eating, but this is a similar premise - he's denying himself intimacy out of a sense of not being deserving of it.
So, then, there are probably many interwoven reasons for Vash's avoidance - he's sick of the chaos that follows him around, he doesn't want others getting hurt, he gets tired from having to "play it up" all the time, and he seems to also feel that he doesn't deserve that closeness. I'm intrigued to see how Vash's avoidance will be tackled going forward (I'm assuming it will?), and I suspect, more than there being one right reason for it, that all these reasons are actually true to an extent.
On a completely different note, this panel here is the biggest mood. I feel it in my bones.
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hm ok so for a while i was thinking that Wally, for the most part, only perceives reality as "Home", the neighborhood. that's his entire world, it's all he knows
but then i slapped myself and went wait. the Live Interview. Wally has been outside of Home, and has interacted with humans (presuming that the interview did actually happen, of course). and through Wally's interactions - or rather, attempt at interactions with Us, the QA, and the WHRP, it can be strongly assumed that he knows that there's an Elsewhere. there are places outside of Home. maybe he doesn't quite understand that there's another reality of sorts, but there's no way he's unaware that there's more than just the neighborhood out there
(and then of course there's the fact that Clown has said that humans are deeply involved (not a direct quote, im paraphrasing) in Welcome Home. maybe Wally interacted with them / regularly interacted with them. there could have been an adjustment period after he gained consciousness where humans helped him learn how to walk/talk/fine motor skills - this could be why he has such a seemingly inherent / desperate trust in Us & the WHRP & the QA... humans made him and cared for him. it's possible he could view them as a sort of higher power to trust & have faith in
& maybe he's been off-set or could go off-set. i mean, the houses' rooms were all different sets - the buildings themselves were empty husks, right? who's to say Wally wouldn't physically walk to the individual set pieces whenever he went over to someone's house (but then that leads me into speculation on how the puppets' consciousness works and how multiple copies of them could co-exist and wondering which is the - im getting off track. but there's all of that and then the two part "you're okay!" art pieces of Wally & Eddie, which are technically canon - dont quote me on that - and that's Another ramble/theory post i could go on about & have strong feelings on. Anyway!)
"but wait," i hear someone protest, "what about Barnaby? he was in the Live Interview too"
but was he? was he really? was that Barnaby, or was that a person in a suit playing the character Barnaby B. Beagle? i mean, if it was Barnaby, there had to be some memory fuckery going on that prevented him from either fully comprehending/realizing the situation, or just made him forget as soon as it was over.
and actually wait, Wally has to be aware of the reality discrepancy. because it was certainly him in the Interview as himself. He had to have understood on some level that either that wasn't really Barnaby, or that Barnaby wouldn't remember the interview.
(there's a connection in my head between all of this & how he would view an apple pie. "it isn't the same anymore. something's different". but i can't pin it down for the life of me.)
and with the Talking Telephone calls, Wally explicitly tells Us that he's not going to tell anyone who was behind the calls. i remember listening to the "original" prank call audio tests, which while were very similar to the canon in-website ones, have a few changes. one of which was Wally - in the tests - saying that the others weren't ready to meet Us yet. now in canon that tidbit has been swapped out for "You have to go too. You have work to do" but i think it's still implied through Wally's purposeful withholding-of-information that he doesn't think the others are ready to know. or he straight up doesn't want them to know
i mean, one little theory i previously had is that Wally wants them all to catch on to the nature of their reality and situation, but he doesn't want to - or Can't - tell them outright. they have to figure it out. and that can't was either something keeping him quiet, or because if they learned too soon / inorganically, their little puppet heads would pop into confetti like Red Guy's in dhmis 4
However my views have Changed and i'm pretty sure Wally is purposefully not telling anyone to maintain the illusion that everything is fine and can continue on as it always has. maybe it comes from a place of protectiveness, of love? whatever the motive i think he wants them all to keep being unaware and dare i say, Complacent while he "fixes" their situation.
which is delusional, but we all know Wally is digging his metaphorical claws into a desperate bid to keep everything the same / return it to its original state, leaving bloody scratches in something already rotted. or something like that!
all this to say i think it's interesting how it seems that he's the only one aware of humans / an outside/other world, yet he's so determined to stay in his lane. he wants connection & communication yet he doesn't want to leave or change. he wants help in keeping things the same (some could say in keeping Our reality & his separated) but in the process he's dooming everyone/everything and tearing down those walls himself
(Wally: i'm going to stay where i am, and you're gonna stay where you are, and we're gonna help each other keep me and my friends where we're meant to be. anyway i wonder what this sledgehammer does)
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What a plot twist you were. [x]
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hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x
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on a general level I think the "if you aren't x identity don't make y point; reblog a post by someone of x identity about it instead" line is basically impracticable—like, how and where am I supposed to find a post by an x person making the exact point I want to make?
on a more personal level I find this line deeply annoying, as it has led on more than one occasion to a white person messaging me to ask me to make a post that says p q r so that they can reblog it...? and, more often than not, p q r is not a position that I agree with on any level.
the anti-racist politics of assuming that all people of colour believe the same things and that white people should be able to use them like puppets..... étonnant
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