#alright there's a specific noun state of Yankeeness

[ereborne]

Half-asleep, highly distracted, pacing the curb at 4:50 of the AM, saw a Yankee slip on wet grass and fall on his ass, saw him get halfway through his attempt to stand only to slip again and fall on his face, went rushing over--I forgot he was a Yankee, you see--to see if he was okay.  Got back the most indignantly incredulous parroted “am I alright there, baby“ imaginable, just immaculate Spike From Buffy delivery here, babes, this was the most “out for a walk, bitch” out-spit non-question I’ve ever heard.  why are Yankees like this.  He never told me if he was alright. 

#yapping tag #here 'AM' stands for 'ass of morning' #Nick's car broke down but I have the AAA #wolftraps #Tristan Tristan thank you so much for the AAA #I have the AAA so I had to get an uber to him so I could call for a tow #so good news: I did get to hear the uber driver's review of living on Guam #'hot. no good storms. no potatoes. Air Force had the good volleyball court. nice jungle though. volcanic rocks' #that's very nearly a verbatim quote and it delights me. imagine a grizzled chain-smoking man with a crew cut #ticking his head left to right with each grunted judgment #he saw that the tire had come fully off the wheel of Nick's car and gave us this sterling report: 'that won't drive' #his name's Bruce and I gave him five stars and a ten-dollar tip #bad news though: the tire's come fully off the wheel of Nick's car and no we do not know how he managed that one #presumably Midas Tire will let us know later today #also also last time I did this Duncan very tiredly informed me that they aren't New York baseball players and therefore aren't proper nouns #but I have to say that a Yankee is a Some Kind of Guy #alright there's a specific noun state of Yankeeness #there is a Yankee Way that some of these people have About Them #I'm not capitalizing because of the rules of English grammar I'm capitlizing for the rules of tumblr grammar #y'all need to know that when I say Yankee it comes out my mouth with clear corners #like when we say someone is Like That