As an American, I just can’t condone what you do for your holiday. Slaughtering animals en masse in a bloody ritual is barbaric, and I can NOT respect this.
by this logic, anon, you better be both vegan and an ardent boycotter of thanksgiving
y’know, that “barbaric” holiday us americans celebrate that involves the slaughter of millions of turkeys each year. smh just can’t condone it 😔
(also, just fyi, the meat from the animals is distributed amongst the poor and needy, as well as family and friends. nothing is wasted. it’s not like we’re just chasing down animals in the streets with knives lol. charity and gratitude are the main focus)
sw would have been so much shorter if one clone decided to murder palpatine in his office because. who are they gonna arrest. sadly the suspect looks like 1000+ other men and all of them forgot what they did last friday night
As it gets warmer more and more of us are gonna start spending time outside again, so please look after your skin! it’s your protective barrier against everything that doesn’t belong in you body, as well as an organ where numerous important processes take place; and skin cancer isn’t picky - no level of melanin can protect you 100%.
Skin cancer is one of the most dangerous cancers, and it’s on the rise - it’s especially tricky in folks with a darker complexion, as the myth that a dark complexion = enough protection against the sun is still going strong. Most often, malignant melanoma (the super bad, invasive skin cancer) is found too late - so try to monitor your sun moles and look for any changes in shape, size, coloration (get a professional dermatologist’s opinion if you notice a change!); In this way, you can catch any bad changes in time.
But the golden rule remains: prevention, PREVENTION, PREVENTION
Wear your SPF, make sure there’s also UVA and UVB protection, if you can, get quality sunglasses (your eyes can get cancer from the sun too!), and please don’t stay in direct sunlight between 10am and at least 4pm - shade is your friend, clothes (covering up) are your best friend :)
Also make sure you’re staying hydrated and getting in all the vitamins and healthy fats, as they play a big role in maintaining and restoring your skin health!
Shout out to those of you who wonder out loud on the internet. (And then come home from work in the evening to a bajillion notes from people with takes you hadn’t even considered on a topic you haven’t even thought about since making a half-asleep text post ten hours ago before your first coffee of the day.) Shout out to you and only you. And to these folks who have had some thoughts worth thinking:
thank god for skin! without it we would simply be peeled limes with complicated emotions
@decaffeinated-hoe does not need caffeine to have thoughts or write them down on the internet. We’re truly blessed!
caligula was a pretty fucked up guy, but in his defense if everyone called me a nickname that meant “little boots” i’d also probably execute a few people
@thoodleoo serves delightfully acerbic hot takes on the ancient Romans.
I think women in ponds giving out swords is a fine system of governmence actually. May i have one
@swordlesbianopinions is fairly straightforward: Here is a lesbian who likes swords and wielding opinions, which she does freely and, might we add, rather well. Bravo!
‘how kafkaesque’ i say waiting in line at the taco bell. you think im talking about the alienating bureaucracy of waiting in a single file line for food premade in another state but actually im talking about the dead cockroach in the corner
@mariowiki likes sea creatures with lots of skin. She has been here forever and still manages to be funny, which is kind of impressive, honestly.
And here, to round us out, is an elephant seal in desperate need of a shower (if not a thought.)
Professor Widogast, his hair silver, his face deeply lined by life, finishes an advanced transmutation lecture at the Soltryce Academy.
As a few lingering students are packing up their things, they are surprised to see an unfamiliar visitor enter the lecture hall: a stylishly-dressed, handsome drow, who casually approaches the lectern and proceeds to flirt outrageously with the revered Professor Widogast. The fondness between the two is so apparent that the students can't decide if the flirting is teasing, genuine, or both.
They leave together. The visitor, taking note of the professor's stiff gait, offers his arm (and more flattery) like a gentleman. Professor Widogast grins, and accepts, and for a moment in the brightness of his smile it's possible to imagine a much younger man in his place, walking arm-in-arm with his companion towards adventure.
"I thought we decided I was much too distinguished for you now." The professor's wry voice can be heard as they disappear into the hall.
"Oh, did we?" the visitor laughs. "I must have forgotten. I don't have your perfect memory, after all."
Their footsteps fade. Their presence remains; each onlooker sits bemused for a few seconds, feeling as though they have glimpsed something rather private and very, very precious - a story which has not escaped the grasp of time, but instead, embraced it.
what i can only assume is a mixture of business skills, fighting with his words, and tommyinnit’s canonical puppy eyes in action plus a single bonus smpearth clip because frick you its my compilation i get to put smpe in if i want
timestamps and transcript:
1:11:53 TommyInnit fights with Purpled, Tubbo & Fundy
Tommy: “Order! Silence in the court. I hereby declare you no longer a judge, please sit over there.”
Tommy: “Now, Purpled, here’s what’s going to happen. Wha—”
[Tubbo walks over to the other side of the courtroom, places a stone step, and sits down. Tommy silently laughs.]
Tommy: “Now, Purpled, here’s what’s gonna happen—”
Tubbo: “Wait, what? Wait, how has this happened?”
1:20:27 1:24:51 TommyInnit & Quackity Do a Heist
Tommy: “You got robbed, bitch!”
[Eret hits him with his sword, taking half his health]
Tommy: “Please don’t kill me though.”
Eret: “Tommy. Can I have my stuff back?”
Tommy: “Alright. You got some food for me? I’m really struggling.”
Eret: “I’ve some carrots. Friendship carrots.” [throws him carrots] “There you go.”
Tommy: “Yeah, yeah, thanks, here you go.” [tosses him one of thirteen enchanting books] “Good day.”
Tommy: “Alright, I’m gonna keep knockback two, power four for effort.” [crosses his fingers] “‘Cause I robbed you.”
[Eret hits him with his sword]
Tommy: “Please don’t kill me. I’m really, really low on HP.”
Eret: [laughs] “I’d quite like my book back.”
Tommy: “You’re not even gonna use it.”
Eret: “Probably not.”
Tommy: “Just for ef—participation.”
Eret: “Fine, I’ll give you this one since you’ve given back all my stuff.”
Tommy: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, bitch.”
54:35 TommyInnit & Technoblade take Antfrost hostage
Tommy: “Hand it [Antfrost’s armor] to me now.”
[Antfrost takes off all his armor and throws it to Tommy]
Tommy: “Oh, wow. That—That was— You really— Oh, wow, you just—”
Techno: “You’re a very persuasive guy, Tommy.”
Tommy: “Okay. Come with us, Antfrost!”
35:32 TommyInnit, Dream, & Technoblade Team Up
Tommy: “So what I’m thinking, Skeppy, is— I can’t believe— I can’t believe you didn’t convince me to stop drowning, I convinced you to start drowning. Like, that— I’m so good with my words. Holy shit. Holy shit.”
Skeppy: “To be fair, how’s he done that?”
27:10 Tommy's Last Night on the Dream SMP
Tommy: “Okay, anyway, but thank you so much for this. Listen, I’ll make amends, uh, provided I don’t die tomorrow.”
Techno: “Wait, what did you take?” [laughs] “What did you take from my base?”
Tommy: “Not a lot, really. Not a lot.”
Techno: “Wait, can I get, like, a list?”
Tommy: “Uhh, potions, primarily. And pearls.”
Tommy: “Yeah, ‘bruhh,’ me too. That’s how I felt if I die tomorrow, Techno, this might be my last night. It was lovely seeing your base and the home that we used to share together. Me and you, we’ve really come a long way. I’m gonna leave now.”
1:20:02 Sam Is The Villain?
Tommy: “Give me the rest [of the hearts of the sea]. Give me the rest. Give me the fucking rest.”
Eret: “I’m honestly impressed.”
Tommy: “Give me two more. Give me two more.”
Eret: “Two more?”
Tommy: “I’ll fucking...” [headbutts her]
Eret: “Okay, Tommy, we can come to a compromise. We can come to a compromise. Alright?” [opens her enderchest] “One more.” [she throws Tommy one more heart of the sea]
Tommy: (picking it up) “Okay.”
Eret: “You happy with that?”
Tommy: “Mhm. Thank you.”
Eret: “Pleasure doing business with you. Even though I’ve got nothing in return.”
Tommy: “Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure doing business with you too, Eret. You owe me.”
1:23:07 Sam Is The Villain?
Tommy: (doing drug deal with Puffy) “Three, two, one.”
[He throws Puffy kelp as she throws him five diamonds]
Puffy: “Ah, this is the shit right here. This is some good— Ah.”
Tommy: “Yes, and I know that because I’ve done drugs.”
35:36 Tommy Is Back Streaming
Tommy: (doing drug deal with Ponk) “I’ll drop you one, you drop me— There’s thirty-nine diamonds per one, yeah?”
[Ponk drops 11 blocks of diamonds to Tommy]
Tommy: (quietly) “Oh shit, okay. How many is that? Nine times three. Twenty-seven.” (loudly) “Yep!”
[Ponk drops him seven more diamond blocks]
Tommy: “Ponk your maths is incredible. Your maths. I’ve never met a man...”
Ponk: “Thank you.”
[He drops him 14 more diamond blocks, a total of 33, as Tommy’s get wider and wider]
40:51 Tommy Is 17 Now
Tommy: “Aw, this is my worst birthday ever.” [crouching in front of Ranboo] “Ranboo, I’m doing the puppy eyes at you.”
Tubbo: “Give him TNT.”
Ranboo: (nodding at Tommy) “Awwwwww.” [He drops him a golden apple] “Wow, that works really— What was that? That was just involuntary, my god. He’s good.”
Tommy: “Ranboo. Oh, Ranboo. Have you got any water bucket?”
Ranboo: “I— I do, yeah. Yeah, I do.”
Tommy: “The minors want TNT.”
Ranboo: (tossing Tommy a bucket) “Oh, wait a sec, what the heck. He’s so good. Wait, he’s really good at this, what the heck is going on?”
42:55 Exploding Stuff w/ Tommy, Tubbo’s Stream April 22nd
Tommy: “Do you want one of my codfish?”
Tommy: “Too bad. Gonna cost you.”
Ghostbur: “How much?”
Tommy: “Uhh, what’s the most valuable thing you got on you.”
Ghostbur: “Uhhh, I have a netherite pickaxe with efficiency four, mending, silk touch...”
Tommy: “Yep! Yep! Yep! Okay, I’ll give you five codfish for that.”
Tubbo: “Codfish should be our national currency.”
Tommy: “Oh. Yep, okay. That works.”
Ghostbur: “Thank you.”
Tommy: “No worries.”
Ghostbur: “Tubbo, I just got a great deal.”
8:49 I Upset Wilbur In Minecraft And It Was Hilarious
Tommy: “I took a book, if that’s cool with you.”
James: “That’s alright, yeah.”
Tommy: (surprised) “Oh. Oh. Nice.”
James: “What book was it.”
Tommy: [checks inventory] “Oh, wait. Wrong book. Sorry.” [He goes back]
James: “Did you want the mending book?”
Tommy: “No, I already have mending books.”
James: “Did you want the protection book?”
Tommy: “I stole wrong.”
James: “That’s fine.”
Tommy: “I’m not the best criminal, you know?”
James: “That’s fine.”
Tommy: “I’m still getting my feet on the ground.”
James: “Look, man, you want anything, you just got to ask. You don’t need to steal. It’s okay.”
Tommy: “Sorry. Sorry. I’m too— I’m used to living the bad boy’s life.” [snickers]
James: “Yeah. It’s alright, man. You don’t have to be the bad guy. I’m here for you.”
Tommy: “Thank you, James. This is— This is what I needed.”