#also! you don’t have to label urself!!!! if that’s what makes u comfortable

[emptifylie]

TW! ed mentions> tips on how to get ur binging under control

i recently got my binging under control which i forgot to say but it’s kinda obvious cuz i’ve been losing weight again and fasting! so i decided to share some tips i guess:

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the first thing i’m gonna say is that it takes time! start off doing the easier things and then eventually u could bring ur restriction levels higher if u chose to! one of my biggest mistakes is at the PEAK of my binging i was doing all of the most difficult restrictions and it led to MORE binging! 

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-stay OUT of the house. if you get the sudden urge that ur gonna binge once u get home here are somethings u could do:

1.) go into a random store and buy urself something like gum, an energy drink, wtvr else and then enjoy that before you get home. listen to ur fav sadish or ana playlist while u do that and genuinely EVERY TIME my urge to binge goes away(lmk if u want songs)

2.)(not recommended if you are still deep in ur binge cycle cuz it could be dangerous to some ppl SO BE CAREFUL> you know urself, if ur still gonna binge on this don’t do it) go into a random store and buy gummy vitamins , they’re usually like 5-10 cals, even if u eat like a handful(don’t recommend cuz they're still vitamins but if u do it like once it’s fine).what i do is i buy them and then take tiny bites of the serving size or suck on them until they dissolve. plus it usually lasts u like a good couple months depending on how big the bottle or serving size is!

3.) just don’t go home until the binging urge is gone, take urself shopping, do something tedious outside your house! 

4.) if you don’t live in a big city like me, they’re might not be as much to do! but don’t make excuses for urself, if u live in a boring neighborhood who cares, go for a long walk with a nice playlist or podcast! if u have pets, walk ur dog. it doesn’t sound that entertaining but i’ve grown to really enjoy my alone time walking. you’ll also get ur steps up! walking a lot is definitely gonna improve ur mood and a good mood is great to avoiding a binge

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okay the second thing you should do is have 0-10calorie food options at home. this is definitely harder for some people because we don’t live alone! but if you hide little things around your room, you won’t need to go into the kitchen for stuff that you didn’t buy but ur tempted with! 

-for example yesterday i had 5 calorie jello! the serving size was so big i almost didn’t finish it all

-i also crush ice in my blender until it’s super smooth like snow and add 0 calorie flavorings into it!

-i have gum ALL over my room

-0 calorie drinks

-tea

-coffee

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3.) MAKE SURE UR DRINKING WATER. being dehydrated can make u feel like u need to binge, but realllyyyyy all u need is some water!

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4.) -play tedious games like the sims! it’s super fun and u could make sims that look like u but at ur goal weight! ik that sounds weird but it’s honestly rlly comforting LOL

-another game could be roblox… embarrassing ik but it’s fun 

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5.) if ur like me and have a shit ton of hw or even work for ur job that you have been putting off, make a day out of it! bring ur laptop or ur work to a nice coffee shop or park spot if u don’t wanna do it at home :) the options are unlimited! and if u trust urself at home, do it there. the fact that you’ll have just SOMETHING off ur to do list is gonna make u feel so much better

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6.) this is if ur at the PEAK of ur binge cycle: buy NUTS! i’m telling you guys BUY NUTS! don’t get discouraged by the calorie label, ik it looks like a lot but our body intakes calories differently with different foods and u absorb nut calories less than u would others if that makes sense

^^^they take a long time to eat and they’re so filling! i know that even if ur full u still can feel like u have to keep going but that’s never happened to that extreme with nuts for me! if this doesn’t work for u tho, think of another healthyish food

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7.) if you can’t leave the house take LONGGGG baths!! like 2 hrs im serious it helps to calm u down and clear ur head! 

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i hope this was helpful :) ik it’s kinda basic info but i felt like sharing it for ppl struggling like i was 

#pr0anna #only pr0 for myself #pro 4na #only pro for tags #pr0 ana diary #meanspø #pro 4 me not 4 thee #not pr0 just for myself #ana trigger #not pr0 4na #notprojustusingthetags #meanspir0 #mealspo #ed diet #disorderd eating #tw edd #eating diary #i will be skiny #i want to be a skeleton #i want to be weightless #tw ed diet #i want to be small #tw ed in the tags #i wish i was thinner #tw eating issues #ed fast #4na fast #ed vent #disorder eating #edblrr

[draculcid]

we’re fucked, it’s fine

it’s already june in nz, so happy pride month, you sexy people! here’s whatever this is. a lot of this is based on personal experience. i got high while writing it at the end. it’s also not proof-read. a chaotic journey, if you ask me.

"Hey, Tommy?" eleven-year old Steve asked. His hands were shaking.

"Mm? Yeah?"

"I think I like boys."

Steve could see Tommy turn to him out of the corner of his eye, but his eyes stayed glued on the TV. Luke Skywalker and Han Solo were going to rescue Princess Leia and he would rather see that than know his friend's reaction to the news. Especially now that Tommy was being so silent, so different from his usual chatty self.

Steve looked down at his hands. "I-I understand if you don't want to be my-my best friend anymore. I know it's kinda, like, weird."

"No-" Tommy was quick to say. "It's not that."

"Yeah?" Steve asked, glancing at his friend.

"Yeah, man. I just got distracted by Luke Skywalker."

Steve laughed softly, then stayed silent. He looked back down at his hands again. 

"I don't mind that you're gay," Tommy continued. "That's the word you use, by the way."

"I know." Steve said, rolling his eyes, but he was smiling, which was something. "And I don't think I am. I-I like girls too." He finally looked at his best friend properly, but only to see his reaction. 

"Oh! Me too! My mom told me the word for that! It's pansexual, I think... or is it bisexual? Wait, let me call my mom." He reached for the phone, but before he could press any of the buttons, Steve was snatching it away, eyes wide and stunned. 

"TOMMY!" he yelled, throwing his hands up. "Don't ask her! It's-I don't want anyone to know yet."

"Not even Carol? Or your parents?" 

"Especially not them!" Steve slumped down, suddenly exhausted. He put his hands over his face to hide the fact that he might cry. Tommy’s eyes widened. "Dude..."

"I know, I know. Okay. It's just- I don't know if they'll be cool with it, ya know? They’re not like your mom." Steve took his hand away from his face and turned his head to look at Tommy, his cheek resting on the couch. "They're not- they can kick me out or whatever. I don't want them to-to hate me, and maybe they would leave me at home all alone more often if they knew.”

"They wouldn’t, Stevie."

"You don't know that. They could hate gay people for all I know."

"Yeah...maybe.." Tommy trailed off, scooting closer to Steve until their shoulders were touching. "I get that. My cousin thinks gay people come from hell. He says the devil makes us. But Mami says that's stupid, because God is the only being in the universe with the power to create life." 

Steve tensed at that. "Do you think the devil made me?"

"No, dude. My cousin is crazy. He thinks the devil made everything. Even science, because it goes against God, even though science is cool. No cool thing can be made by anyone but God, so.."

That made Steve snort. "I don’t like science, Tommy.” He then leaned his head on his best friend's shoulder, sighing. “So I'm not from hell?"

"Nope. God made you, just like he made everyone else. And he made you super cool!" A laugh escaped Steve’s lips before he could help it. "Thanks, Tom." 

Tommy got up and grabbed the remote from where it was discarded. "So? You wanna finish the movie?"

Steve smiled. "Yeah.."

I’m fucked, he thought.

-

"I don't like sex," thirteen-year old Billy blurted suddenly. His best friend, Luca, looked up from his sandwich. "What?"

"Yeah. Most guys in our grade talk about it and- and how cool and fun it is and I just- everytime a girl touches me- it makes me feel weird-" Billy stopped. He pushed his hair out of his face. "I don't know, man. I just don’t like fuckin’ with them."

"So you're ace?"

"Ace?"

That made Luca smile. "Asexual. That means you don't like to have sex."

"Oh." Ace. Asexual. "Does that mean I can't- what if sex with guys sounds good? Not with girls though? I’d like to have sex with a guy."

Luca rolled his eyes. "Okay. Gay, then."

Im fucked, Billy thought.

"What if I want to like girls?"

“You can’t really choose, dumbass. It just happens. You like some people and you don’t like others.”

Billy sighed and tapped his fingers on the table, “I can pretend though.”

"You can.” Luca furrowed his brows, “but that won’t feel good. You’re gay and that’s fine. It’s not bad.”

Billy tried to hide it but he smiled then, because it fit. Gay. Boys.

Huh. Not bad.

 -

Billy liked the label. He didn’t like to be Billy The Gay Dude though. He was just Billy. He was always and will always be Billy- a normal teenager who liked to go to parties, who was trying to save up for a car, who stayed up past his bed-time to read horror stories. He was Billy. He just happened to like boys.

That’s fine.

-

It was rare that Mr. Harrington  and Mrs. Harrington were anything but calm and collected in front of their son. But when Steve walked into the living room of the house, his mother was pacing furiously, and his father was talking on the the phone, jaw tense and eyes determined.

"Yes, I understand that it's none of my business, but considering the fact that all of the men that work for you are idiots- or homos, I'm making it my business," Mr. Harrington snapped, huffing. Steve pulled his mother to sit next to him on the couch and raised his eyebrow in question.

"Your father’s trying to figure something out," she whispered. "He'll talk to you when he’s done, hopefully." Steve shook his head. "Why is he mad?" he whispered back.

"It's a stupid idea is what it is... Frankly, I don't care if that offends you, Sir. What you're proposing is absurd, no matter what you believe it is. I do not want him to work at a public pool when he’s all of that..."

"They found out that a gay boy works at the community pool," his mother replied, pushing Steve to a side.

"Yeah, well you can shove your faggotry up your ass," Mr. Harrington said, ending the call. He put a shaking hand over his face and took a deep breath. When he took his hand away from his face, it was obvious he was serious about this.

"Needless to say," Mrs. Harrington said, louder now, "we want him fired."

Steve was speechless. "Wait-why?"

"Because they're parasites," his father said before his mother could reply. “They’re a goddamn disease plaguing our community, Steven.”

A tense silence stretched as Steve tried to process the news.

"I have a bisexual friend at school," Steve finally said, his voice soft. I am that bisexual friend. “He- He’s just a normal guy. Like you, Dad. He needs jobs too. You shouldn’t take that away.”

His father scoffed at the fact that Steve was friends with someone like that. His mother smiled sadly. "No, Steven. You’ve just always been so soft."

"Yeah, because maybe he needs that job. Maybe he doesn’t have what we have. Not everyone is lucky."

"It’s not being lucky, it’s being a hard worker.” Mr. Harrington clarified. “And I’m just trying to keep people like him away from my family and friends,” he added. He sighed after a while, “they don’t want to fire him anyway. Chief is against it.”

"It’s better for business if you just leave the kid alone," Steve offered. For business.

"Yeah, I will. I don’t want him to taint my reputation anyway.”

Steve smiled a little, but it was more of a grimace. A hand landed on his shoulder, and when he looked up, his mother was looking at him with dark, reflective eyes. "So thoughtful."

Steve shrugged. "I just look at the bigger picture," he said as an explanation. “It could affect Dad’s entire business if he seemed like he was discriminating against someone.”

Mr. Harrington nodded. "Damn straight, son."

-

When Billy was dying on the mall floor, there were two things that were on his mind:

1. I should apologize to Max.

2. My mom died too and she never knew I was gay.

Which is kind of stupid. But he couldn't help it.

When he woke up at the hospital, random people and kids kept bringing him flowers, or gave him pity-hugs. And for some reason, he wished he died just so that he could tell her. Mom, I’m gay.

He could feel his heart tug and clench with tremendous guilt because I should have died and she'll never know I'm gay. My mother will never know I'm gay.

"Hargrove?" Steve was sitting next to Billy’s bed. Which felt weird for both of them, obviously. But Steve insisted to visit often, so apparently they were friends now, and Billy didn't have the energy to fight him.

Plus, he kind of was good company.

"Where's your head at, hm?" Steve said when he didn't answer.

He looked up from his hands at Steve, who was smiling soft at him. His eyes were slightly red, and he was paler than usual; something in Billy’s chest tugged at the sight, and he wanted to pull Steve into bed next to him and force him to get some sleep.

I should have died. She’ll never know I'm gay.

"Harrington?" Billy asked, voice breaking. His hand was shaking too much to nudge Steve, so he had to use his voice.

"Billy?" The smile dropped off Steve’s face, and the tug in his chest turned into a burn. "Hey, what's wrong?"

She'll never know. She died never knowing something really important about me.

Tears were rolling freely down Billy’s face now. "Harrington, I-Harrington, I have to tell you something."

"Go on," he said, eyes dripping in concern. He took Billy’s shaking hand in his, and something in Billy broke.

"H-Harrington," he sobbed, clutching his stomach because he suddenly couldn't breathe. "Ste-Steve, oh my god. I fucked-I fucked up-p. So b-bad-bad. Like, real-really ba-bad."

There was a screech, and suddenly Steve was crouching on the floor next to him, his hand cupping Billy’s face. He rubbed his cheek. "Billy, breathe. Shhh. Breathe, Billy."

"Steve." He felt like his lungs were on fire. He felt like he was covered in goo. All over him. Over his legs, arms, chest. Into his mouth, blocking his airway- into his lungs, filling them up like water. He felt like he was a fish, used to breathing in water but dying in air.

He felt crazy.

She's not going to be here for my first date- with a boy. My first kiss- with a boy. My wedding. Kids, maybe. She's never going to come with me to Pride. She's not going to be here for my college graduation. She's never going to see me find love. She's never going to know I'm gay.

Steve nudged something at his lips, and Billy looked down to see his inhaler. In his half-lucid mind, he forgot that he didn't have normal functioning lungs anymore. He parted his lips, letting the fresh air fill his lungs. He took a deep breath, then inhaled the other hit. And another. Once he was breathing normally again, aside from the occasional hiccup, he deflated, suddenly exhausted.

"That’s good," Steve cooed, brushing the hair from his face. "Better?"

All he could do was nod at him, trying not to concentrate on the tears streaking down Steve’s face. "Good. You're fine, okay? You're fine."

Billy grabbed Steve’s hand from his cheek, keeping it there. Trying to still it, even though his own hand was shaking. "Steve?"

"Yeah?"

"I-" He closed his eyes and squeezed his hand. "My mom doesn't- I- she’s never gonna know me, Steve. I'm not straight and- and she's dead- and she's never gonna kn-know. Steve, I’m gay. I-I'm not st-straight. I'm no-not- I'm not and she's never--can't."

"God, Billy..."

"Don-don't be mad," he cried, letting go of Steve’s hand and putting it over his eyes.

"Billy, why would I be mad?"

"Don't be mad at me. It’s not-It’s not my- fault. I-I-can't-"

"Billy," Steve said, his voice firm. He took his hand away from his face and kissed it. "Billy. I'm not mad. I would never be mad at you for that. Never."

Billy tugged at Steve’s hand until he stood up and sat on the bed next to him. Tears were still streaming down Billy’s face. "She never got to know me, Steve," he whispered, “She wouldn’t have loved me.”

She's never gonna know I'm not straight.

"Billy..." Steve brought a hand around his waist, pulling him towards him, then buried his nose into Billy’s neck. Billy could feel Steve’s teardrops on his shoulder.

"Steve, she-she died thinking I was-I was so-something else. Someone else."

"It's okay-it's okay."

"No, Steve. I-she died and I-I can't-she's never go-going to know and it-its killing me."

Steve didn't say anything. Just buried himself into Billy’s neck and hugged him tight.

When something can't be fixed, Billy thought, the people you love hold you. And they let you cry.

He's holding me and letting me cry because he can't fix this. This can't be fixed. She'll never know I'm gay. 

Billy rested his head on Steve’s and cried into his hair until they both fell asleep.

-

Steve and Robin became friends very quickly. They always worked well together.

Especially after she admitted that she liked girls. And that she preferred Dustin over him. Because duh. Any friend of Steve’s had to prefer Dustin over him. Dust was so fun- it wouldn't be right otherwise.

She also preferred Joyce, which was also a given. Joyce was just like that. She took people in like they were her own and treated them with nothing but respect and kindness and love, no matter what. Her compassion for others was extraordinary, and her resilience was inspiring. It was hard not to love Joyce more than anybody, really.

"I'm your friend for Mama Joyce perks," Robin said once, while they were having the lunch Joyce sent specifically to Family Video.

"It's fine," he replied, shrugging. "I'd prefer Joyce, too."

Robin always came to his house now after she found out he was always alone. He had a feeling it was also for Joyce perks, but she stayed even if Joyce didn’t visit or send any food. Sometimes, Dustin would come along to use Steve’s Atari, but he had a dentist appointment today and so they were all alone.

Tell her, he thought, not for the first time that day. She doesn't care. Just tell her so it's out of the way.

"Hey Robin?" Steve called. His voice cracked a little.

"What?" She replied, her eyes not leaving the book she was reading. Surprisingly, that made him slightly calmer.

He blurted it before he could help it. "I'm not straight."

"Oh, I know."

"What?"

Robin finally looked up, making eye contact with him. "I'm pretty sure you're bisexual. Pretty sure. But I’m not sure if you’ve got heart eyes for anyone right now. I'm still trying to figure it out."

Steve blanked . "Uh- well, there’s-"

"Nope. Don't tell me. I want to figure it out."

"Oh. Uh, okay." Steve went back to toying with his hoodie-strings, still trying to process what just happened.

"And dingus?" Robin said. "I think it's cool, that you trusted me with that. Thanks."

A smile made its way onto Steve’s face, but he didn't reply.

Later that week, he was rereading the note Billy left (instead of money) in the tip jar for the sixth time when Robin came up to him. Her arms were crossed and she had a determined look in her eye. When she finally reached him, she kept her voice low enough so that only he could hear what she was going to say.

"So. The heart eyes? For Billy?"

He laughed, nodding.

She smirked. "Got ya."

-

After Billy was discharged from the hospital, Hopper and Joyce kept a close eye on him. 

There were 'workout days’ every Friday to make sure Billy only worked out then and didn’t overwork himself. Weekend trips to random places whenever Hopper felt spontaneous or felt like taking him along on one of his PD meeting. Sleepovers with El and Max. Movie nights with Joyce or Jonathan or Steve or all three. Billy’s relationship with them turned into something less formal and more... relaxed. Casual. 

Familial, a part of Billy’s brain bugged, but he ignored it. 

Hopper also became a lot more affectionate, which was unusual in itself.

Joyce once told him that after Sarah, he could only stand the slightest hug sometimes. And even now, after so long, he could only stand so much physical contact.

But with Billy, it seemed like he didn't even mind. He’d untangle the curls in Billy’s hair, hug him out of nowhere, and he even pulls Billy’s head into his lap randomly. They got close, especially after almost a year of living with each other. A year of Hopper being his dad, Billy’s brain bugged again.

Familial, Billy’s brain teased. Parental. 

But no. That wasn't right. Billy hadn't even come out to him or Joyce yet. Which was saying something, because he was out to basically everyone close to him. Will, Jonathan, Robin, Steve, Max, El, even the Wheeler boy knew. And it's not like Billy didn't want to come out to them. He did.

In fact, Joyce was probably one of the only people that didn't assume he was straight all the time. When she teased Billy, it was never, Who is she? Is she cute? 

It was always they. 

Who are they? Are they cute? 

If you don't introduce me to that special person of yours I'm gonna find them for myself. 

They've got you wrapped around their finger, huh?

It didn’t matter that it was painfully obvious that Steve was the special person. (Either Hopper and Joyce were really oblivious, or they just wanted Billy to tell them himself).

But Billy actually appreciated it. Especially when Hopper teased him because it always gave him a leeway to come out. Come to think of it, Billy still didn't know why he hadn't come out yet. There were many opportunities.

Maybe it's because they’ve known him for a while now, and he's pushed himself farther into the closet every time he didn't come out and now it feels too late. Which sounded dumb. Billy had a hunch that Joyce and Hop definitely already knew. 

"Kid?" Hopper said, breaking him out of his thoughts. "You with me?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah. Right here." Billy tried to smile, but it came out a bit forced. 

Hopper turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "You sure? Anything happen at work?"

Billy shrugged, turning away from his piercing gaze and sitting himself next to Joyce on the table. "Not really. I got a really bad sunburn on my shoulders though."

Just tell them. 

"My boss was being a dick, but that's not unusual."

Joyce shook her head at the word choice.

Just tell them. Spill it out. 

"Also. I'm gay," he blurted, then covered his mouth with his hand. 

Not like that!

"I-I didn't mean that," Billy said through his fingers. 

Hopper’s smile turned impossibly soft. Billy only ever saw that smile before when El got all her multiplication tables down.

Joyce dragged her chair closer to Billy, then carefully started peeling Billy’s hand away from his mouth. When she was done, she stayed silent for a moment, contemplating, before she seemed to make a decision to run her hands through Billy’s curls. "You did mean that, honey."

Billy leaned into her touch. "You know?" he asked.

"I know."

"How long?"

"A while. Probably longer than you think." Hopper spoke up as Joyce tugged at a knot until it came undone.

Hopper dragged his chair closer too, putting his hands in Billy’s wet and tangled hair as well. "Do you mind?"

"No," Billy replied. 

"Good."

They stayed like that for a while in companionable silence, save the occasional huff every time Hopper undid a particularly hefty curl or scraped his nails on his head. 

Familial, Billy thought, not unkindly. 

"Uh- Joyce?" 

"Yeah?"

"Thanks." He looked back at Hopper, “You too.”

Hopper rolled his eyes. "You don't have to thank us," he said, "for treating you with some common decency."

"No, I mean- Joyce never assumed I was straight."

Joyce paused. "Yeah. Why would I?"

Billy didn't have an answer to that, because she was right. Why would she assume I was straight?

"Do you wanna finish the paint job for your car today?" Hopper asked, breaking the silence. 

"Hell yeah."

Familial. 

-

Steve’s attempt at a proposal was...interesting. To say the least.

"Billy’s here!" Max yelled from across the living room when he entered. Billy gave Max a look. "I know I'm here, Shitbird. You don't have to announce it, you know."

Max rolled her eyes. Hopper huffed from the couch, "No, she wasn't talking to you, you little shit- Steve! Billy’s here!"

"Okay, okay. Jesus! I get it!" Steve’s voice shouted back, startling Billy. He turned to where the voice came from and did a double take when Steve’s face was right up in his space.

“Hi.”

His hair was a mess, sticking out in all directions, like he’d been running his hands through it all day. His brown eyes were manic with glee. Billy silently judged his boyfriend’s smart shirt and jeans. He would have loudly judged his atrocious tie. But he was really cute. So.

“Steve,” Billy smiled, “Not that I don’t want you to be here, but why are you here?”

“Max, Joyce, and Hopper.” Steve shrugged like that was the most detailed explanation. “Apparently I needed to get their permission to marry you.”

Billy paused at the word marry. He squinted over at Steve, as he searched his face for something, not quite sure what it was that he was actually looking for. “Are you... what?”

“I said it was fine!” Max put her hands up in defense. 

“Okay. Whatever,” Steve whispered to her, in an attempt to psych himself up and give Max a cue to stop talking.

"Billy Hargrove," Steve said, all serious and solemn.

Billy’s knees went weak and he wanted to run the fuck away when Steve kneeled in front of him.

His heart thudded.

"Do you watch Scooby Doo?"

Billy spluttered. "Uh- wait what-"

"Kid, you broke him," Hopper groaned at Steve’s attempt at humour.

"Uh, yeah-yeah, I watch it, sometimes," Billy said, recovering. 

"That is so gay, baby!" Steve exclaimed suddenly, getting up from the floor and pumping his fist into the air like he just won the lottery.

"Uh-"

"You’re my boy," Steve continued, pulling Billy in for a quick kiss on the cheek. "Sorry. I’m so excited. I just love you." He looked at Billy, smiling wildly. "Hi, so. Yes or no?"

"What question am I exactly answering, Stevie?" 

“Oh!” Steve said, eyes widening, pointing in between the two of them as if it would elaborate. “Sorry. I just said- I want you to marry me.”

Billy nodded, trying to play things cool. "That sounds like a demand. Not a question."

Max sighed, "Are you being serious right now?"

Billy smiled cheekily and nodded again.

Steve nervously played with his hands. “Billy, it’s a question. Just say yes or no. Well I’d prefer yes because I already bought a ring- but I don’t know what you want so- ”

“What do you think?” Billy sassed, like he was angry, “I love you, asshole.”

“I love your asshole.” Steve spit back in the same tone.

“Oh god, sorry,” he apologized, looking back at Hopper and Joyce, like please don’t let this change your mind. “I just- uh. I say weird things when I’m nervous or excited.”

Hopper looked between the two boys and sighed, “you guys are really made for each other.”

"They are,” Max whispered to him, “It’s so clear. Steve can’t sit properly in a chair. And Billy’s a chaotic gay- he can’t drive proper.”

"Oh my god. You really cant," Steve said, laughing. Billy smiled back, all teeth and manic glee. 

"Oh, okay then. I see how it is. I’ll just have you know, Harrington, that I don't marry boys who can’t sit properly in chairs," Billy shrugged. "Sorry."

"No problem, bro. I don't marry guys who can't drive because I can't either."

Billy didn’t wait any longer before he pulled Steve in for a kiss. His hands, gently in Steve’s hair, and Steve’s upon his chest. Max grimaced at the sight of them kissing. Hopper looked like he was about to die.

“Wait- so, Billy. Honey, is that a yes or no?” Joyce asked, confused.

-

Yeah. They kissed all the way back to Billy’s car in the driveway. Yeah. They made out in the backseat for a while before forcibly separating themselves so Steve can speak up.

He knows they can’t legally get married- at least not yet. But the idea of spending his life with Billy makes his heart flip. The idea that he can call Billy his husband.

Billy felt Steve smile against his skin. “You know? I always..um. Dreamt of falling in love, and, like, getting married, believe it or not.”

He heard Billy snort but continued, “A suburban life, if you will.”

“Three bedroom house, maybe. Big yard for barbecues in the summer. Oh, we gotta have a hammock in our yard.” Steve listed. “You.”

Billy started laughing, “Buy me a house with a big yard then I’ll consider building ya a hammock. It’s only fair.”

Steve lightly punched his arm, laughing as well. Billy punched Steve’s arm back.

“Oh, Stevie,” Billy dramatically squeaked, putting a hand over his heart, “We get to be together forever!” He threw his hands in a wide circle to illustrate his version of forever.

He mocked it, but it was a thrilling thought. Being together forever.

Steve pouted. “Fuck you. I’m telling you my suburban dream and you’re mocking me.”

“What? You jerk!” Billy suddenly jumped up, giggling like a 7-year-old. “So your suburban dream is that you want me to be your kept househusband, taking care of the kids, and cooking dinner for my man when he comes home from work? And barbecue parties in the summer? Grocery shopping on the weekends as well?” Billy teased.

“Oh, wow,” Steve wiggled his brows, “kids too, Billy? Sounds like you’ve already got a plan.”

Fuck.

Billy lowered his forehead to Steve’s shoulder, hiding his burning face, “I was just saying. But only if you want.”

“I want it all, weirdo.” Steve smiled so wide his skin crinkled near his eyes, and Billy fell in love all over again.

-

Sometimes, when he was lying awake in bed, Billy’s head on his chest, Steve rolled the word around his tongue. Bisexual.

Huh. 

It really did fit.

And Billy would look at Steve, hair all disheveled from sleep, and face still indented from the pillow and think.

I don’t have to pretend. I’m gay - and that’s just fine. It’s not bad.

-

#this is my first pride month so !!!!! #also! you don’t have to label urself!!!! if that’s what makes u comfortable #harringrove #me posting #fic #billy hargrove #steve harrington #tw f slur #tw death #let’s hope i don’t delete this bc it’s . personal #i’m gay and it’s not bad even tho i sometimes feel like it is

[fairy-writes]

hi fairy !! i saw ur matchups were open, and i was wondeding if i could request a male jujutsu kaisen and bungou stray dogs matchup ehe i don't rly mind whether or not they're platonic/romantic :^^

personality — i'm straight, not a minor and look like ur average nerdy girl ig? m smol tho ehe <:3 i'm v introverted- find it kinda hard to speak to ppl irl when we first meet, and maybe once or twice after that, but once we settle into a comfortable back and forth, i'm more open to chat and chill w them. it takes q a while for me to fall into that kind of pace bc i'm also kinda shy, but once we're good, i'm more outgoing than i would be at our first encounter. at that stage of friendship, i'm the type to look out for them, go out with them for a casual drink or two (at a cafe, not a bar). i don't trust easily, so that comes a lot later, but otherwise, i'm p affectionate w my friends/supposed partner after a while (my love language is physical affection and acts of service, so that pops up arnd a lot). errr if it helps, i'm also in slytherin, though i think that's largely bc of the ambition i have for chasing after the things i want to learn.

likes — classical music (becoming a concert pianist was one of my dreams until i ultimately decided to pursue science; i still play though, and i enjoy that immensely as a hobby), philosophical talks (i think deep most of the time when i'm alone), reading non-fiction (memoirs and recounts), spending time w my friends (includes all the study dates and times we spend on call going over academics) and being w my family <3

dislikes — rude/arrogant ppl, unreasonable ideals, ppl w narrow minds (and who absolutely refuse to see anything other than what they think is right; the kind of ppl who are "ure wrong, i'm right"), ppl ignorant of others' pain, slow wifi (can't watch all the anime and drama on my watchlist T_T), lack of structure (in terms of life and work)

that's it rly...? thank you so much for taking the time to look through this !! i hope u have a great day/night wherever u are in the world, and rmb to take care of urself !! 💙

Hello lovely! I labeled whether they were romantic or not :) I hope you like your matchup! 

Jujutsu Kaisen Matchup: I pair you with… Inumaki Toge!

(Platonic Matchup)

You are a sorcerer who helps out at Jujutsu Technical College and meets Inumaki after Gojo asks you to help with Inumaki’s cursed technique! You have a similar cursed technique and have much more experience than he does, so it’s a great match! Although the two of you communicate mainly through text and writing things down, you don’t have a specific way of talking like he does. You both end up super close after going on a few missions together, almost like siblings!

I see Inumaki as a Gryffindor! He’s courageous and chivalrous, which are both qualities Godric Gryffindor looks for in a person! He admires your ambition and tries to emulate it in some ways to better himself as a sorcerer.  He also enjoys listening to your piano playing and tries to track down songs and sheet music for you to surprise you with :)

Your conversations mainly occur through text or even sign language if you both want to learn that. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t deep and philosophical! For example, Inumaki has surprisingly complicated conversations when he wants to. He also asks for your help with academics! He is average at his school work and sometimes needs help with maths or science. Overall, the two of you are basically like siblings from different parents!

Bungou Stray Dogs Matchup: I pair you with… Kunikida Doppo!

(Romantic Matchup)

Atsushi actually introduces you two to each other after you need some help from the ADA. Initially, Kunikida is strictly professional and doesn’t do much in terms of pursuing a relationship. But after you become smitten by him and visit after your case is over, he actually asks you out to lunch, and the rest goes from there!

He’s definitely a Ravenclaw, and the two of you make a fearsome and ambitious couple with nothing standing in their way! He admires your ability to play piano and often makes requests if you take them. The two of you also have deep philosophical conversations all the time and often confuse anyone trying to listen in on them. 

He’s also a big nonfiction geek, and the two of you swap books all the time! He trusts you to take care of his things and knows you’ll treat his books with respect and carefulness. You also both study together a lot! He helps you with your studies. He used to be a maths professor, after all. Overall, the two of you just make such a cute match, and he loves you a whole lot!

#fairytailwzard matchups #fairytailwzard matchup #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungo stray dogs #kunikida doppo #doppo kunikida #bungou stray dogs kunikida #bsd kunikida #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk inumaki #jujutsu kaisen inumaki #inumaki toge #toge inumaki

[syrenblubs]

What Your Free! Kin Says About You (Samezuka)

a/n: i didn’t write sei’s because i’ve never met a seijuro kinnie and i couldn’t think of anything for him

once again if u feel attacked by this, ur welcome ;)) (more self-callouts for me :’))

Rin 

(another one of my kins)

-c o m p e t i t i v e

-phat superiority complex (no im not sorry for this one)

-big inferiority complex too

-always second in everything

-ur probably also an oikawa kinnie

-ur labelled as tsundere by friends

-u don't know how to put ur emotions into words

-u probably have anger issues

-you've distanced urself from ur family until something happened and ever since you tried to reconnect

-u get frequent headaches from stressing urself out

-people think of u as rude or inconsiderate but ur just very blunt

-[insert first language here]? sorry u only speak sarcasm

Sousuke

-u were taught from a young age that showing ur emotions would make u seem vulnerable to others

-only child

-ur excel in stuff u enjoy doing

-hardworking and dedicated in what u do

-u have trouble balancing ur school/career goals with ur family and social life

-u also struggle with meeting basic needs at the expense of better results with school/work

-have a hyperfixation to coffee

-dry texter

-like the rin kinnies, ur very blunt

-u don't care what other people think

-u have social skills u just don't see the need in using them

-has a hard time opening up to others, even if they're close

-doesn't read between the lines, and takes things as they seem

-hard for u to understand jokes and sarcasm

Nitori

-like the makoto kinnies, u hate conflict

-u have secret fetishes that you’d never dare to share

-u hoard a lot of things from ur past

-u tend to over apologize

-panics over the smallest things

-ur feelings are influenced by those of others around u

-stressed to keep up with everyone's expectations

-ur careful with what u say to others

-u prioritize ur family and friends over urself

-u have a terrible habit of oversharing

-u want to make more friends, u just don't know how to

-you seek validation and satisfaction from other people

Momo

-ur labelled as the annoying kid

-ur a genuinely happy person, but u have trouble understanding that others don't have it same

-class clown? most likely

-party kid

-ur good at comforting ppl when u can sympathize tho

-you're probably ur parents' favorite child

-on that note, ur the youngest sibling

-u have many siblings and cousins ur age who u hang out with

-u strive to live life to the fullest, free from standards and society's expectations

-u may or may not have wanted to be internet famous at some point

-like the nagisa kinnies, u love food

-ur naturally athletic

-its easy for u to go up to people and start talking

-you don't have a problem in expressing how u feel or showing your emotions

#free! headcannons #free! scenarios #free eternal summer #free! iwatobi swim club #free! #free! imagines #samezuka #free dive to the future #free road to the world #nitori aiichirou #rin matsuoka #sousuke yamazaki #momotarou mikoshiba #free! rin #free! sousuke

[dog-teeth]

I asked this question before but I think it got eaten plus I wanna add to it anyways because. Oversharing to strangers online woo hoo

How did you figure out you were genderfluid? I'm an AFAB nonbinary but I'm still feminine leaning (I have trauma with he/him pronouns and being called a boy cause I got bullied for looking like a [t slur]) and go by they/them and suffer a lot of dysphoria at times, but sometimes I dont feel much dysphoria if at all and feel much more comfortable with she/her. I worry that if I say I'm gonna try to use she/they pronouns everyone will just call me a she/her and assume I was lying even though I'd prefer they/them in most settings... I dunno I also just struggle with validation or just knowing these things so lmk if this sounds like. Genderfluid stuff or if I'm just overthinking JFNDIFNW

being nonbinary is different to each person, and so is being genderfluid. i think people often forget that being nonbinary is not one monolithic, completely-androgynous gender. it’s definitely normal to have your dysphoria fluctuate, both in how intense it is & how it affects your gender presentation (like pronouns). you don’t have to use the label of genderfluid just because you feel dysphoria differently at different times and use different pronouns at other times. that’s normal and fine for any nonbinary person. but that also is a genderfluid thing, and if you identify with the label, and you think it helps you explain yourself, go ahead and use it!! that’s fine!! labels serve the purpose of helping people explain how they feel, both for self-understanding and to communicate with other people. you’re free to use no labels, or try different ones out, it’s fine if you don’t want to use them later! your description does seem like you could be genderfluid, & remember that both genderfluid and nonbinary are umbrella terms and highly individual experiences, so however you feel & relate to them is fine! there’s also words like demigirl (gender between or mixing female and nonbinary) & genderfae (genderfluid but never feeling masculine/male-aligned). but anything you want to use to call urself is fine!

as for pronouns, i know it’s hard to feel confident in asserting your identity and how you want other people to refer to you, but it’s totally fine to use both sets of pronouns and speak up about what makes you most comfortable. people who respect you will do their best to use your pronouns and won’t think you’re lying or faking. if they do, they’re transphobic, and you don’t need their understanding or approval to be valid. it’s ok to have a complex relationship with gender and presentation.

personally, i started leaning more into the genderfluid label when i realized i had been trying to find the right label for myself for years and none of them felt completely right, and i felt very differently at different points in time, both in the long-term and short-term. i felt like i could never pin it down. i still don’t even identify 100% as genderfluid - i’m too genderweird to feel fully explained by one label, or even multiple! i also use the terms genderqueer, agender, genderfaun, & trans, and i also feel like none of these words fully describe my gender, and trying to use words for it doesn’t always work. the way i feel gender and dysphoria changes a lot (although its been more consistent recently, but i don’t trust it to stay in one place too long), and what i want for my gender presentation / for how ppl perceive me also changes, again this is a general nonbinary thing and a genderfluidity thing.

tldr; you could be genderfluid and this is also normal for nonbinary people and u can do whatever u want

#i took a bong rip a few minutes ago so i really hope this makes sense and isnt rambling #long post #transphobia tw #ez answers #advice #gender stuff #Anonymous

[violentviolette]

So right now im questioning my gender and wondering if im a trans guy or on the male end of the spectrum (im afab) and I was wondering if you have any advice on how you became to know and be comfortable with your own gender? Is there something you can do to know for sure?

I actually didn't realize I was trans till I was like 25ish and it was something I really struggled with. it took me a long time to really figure out and even now, I struggle to find the right words to fully describe myself and my gender. I dont think there's ever one solid "thing" that means u just Know

honestly the thing that always helps me the most is remembering that u don't actually have to figure that all out at once or even ever

I started with focusing on not doing what made me uncomfortable or that I was only doing because I thought I had to, like shaving my legs and wearing dresses and start doing things that made me feel good like using he/him pronouns and changing my name

taking things one step at a time and asking urself "how does this make me feel? does it make me happy to do this?" and making decisions based on what brings u gender euphoria and makes u feel good I think is honestly the best thing when ur first starting out

because at the end of the day thats what this is all about. finding a u that makes u most happy and feels most comfortable to present to the world

its also always okay to change ur mind! to experiment and decide u feel differently than u thought u did. u could id as nonbinary and see how that feels, or call urself a trans man and see if thay feels more comfy. u can switch back and forth or use both or neither. this stuff is hard sometimes and changing labels is a natural part of coming into ur identity

same goes for presentation stuff, originally when I first came out I stopped wearing makeup entirely, then as I got more comfortable I realized I really do like wearing eyeliner, so now I wear eyeliner

there aren't actually any rules to this stuff and the only opinion that matters is ur own

if any of my trans followers want to weigh in and give anon their own experiences and thoughts please do so! gender is so personal and I think everyone's unique experiences can offer something valuable

#jack.speaks #anon #transitioning

[black-mesa-slut-voice]

Dear goodness please don’t make me make a dni list. I.. usually don’t much care who interacts with me but I’m seeing some weird shit in my notes!!!

Ugh. Okay whatever I’m cool on most things but here’s some stuff:

-Im a non-binary lesbian. I use they/she. I’m probably somewhere on a weird grey/asexuality spectrum I haven’t figured out yet

-kinnies are valid. It’s all fun and cool man

-I’m queer, and I respect you if you don’t want to use that word or be called it, and won’t call you it without your permission, but it’s still our word. Some of us use it. and if you think people reclaiming it is bad then I’m sorry bro. I’m out here living my best life lovin myself and I don’t wanna make u uncomfy

-I support mogai and people calling themselves whatever sexualities and shit they want. Labels are labels and they’re just for personal comfort and you gotta love yourself. Literally what is wrong with calling yourself anything as long as ur not hurting anyone? As long as it makes u feel good that’s what matters.

-Ace, pan, and trans pals, you’re welcome here. If you don’t support ace, pan and trans people I’m sorry you have a stick up ur ass u should get it checked out (obv I don’t include like. Pedophiles and shit. Incest isn’t a sexuality eugh). Pan isn’t inherently transphobic tf are some of you on about?? Literally one of my best friends is pan and trans wh

-I post GORE and BODY HORROR. YEs I tag things. Yeah I enjoy a lot of other fandoms that aren’t perfect, cus I can consume media critically? When did SU become problematic. Yeah it has its flaws but. It’s a good cartoon for kids w leabians I can enjoy???

(That said, if you dislike certain media for trauma reasons that’s valid and I’ll make sure to tag any other fandom that might work it’s way in here but like. Please. If you think you can’t consume media unless it’s perfect then I’m sorry bro it don’t work like that. Cancel culture is toxic. Enjoy that kinda shitty video game as long as you’re aware of the bad parts. Love urself n have fun)

-I’ve never read homestuck but a bunch of my trusted friends like it so (???). I don’t have any disc horse on that bro I’m neutral. Don’t worry I’ll tag any that might be referenced here It’s valid if u don’t like it ig?? Ya

-dear GOD I hate trump and everything he says. Acab and so is he. No I will not discuss this I thought we were all on the same page here??? Christ

-basically I’m a normal decent human being. I try to be polite and read DNI’s before interacting and holy hell some of y’all........... please........ quarantine really be getting to ya huh

-if u have any questions feel free to shoot an ask I don’t bite

Anyway I’m saying this cus I use tag crawler on my art (sending love to everyone who leaves nice tags), and I usually follow people that way but. Whew.

If any of this makes you’re uncomfortable, you’re welcome to block me if so! In fact, I encourage it, if I in any way make you uncomfortable. I try to be accommodating for everyone but sometimes people just got fundamentally different beliefs yo. Also don’t worry, I really hate drama and shit like this so posts like this will NOT become a regular thing. I just... had to say SOMETHING ykno.

It’s 7:30 am and I haven’t slept so I’m sorry if this is rambly but hot damn y’all. Anyway. back to the regular schedule

#id rather yall not reblog but if you do thats fine ig #please. some of u need a capri sun and a snickers bar

[yuri-caps]

I don't know if this is the right place to ask this, but: I'm dating a girl right now (the only girl I've ever liked) and it got me thinking about what I am. I don't think or don't feel like I'm bi or pan, but I really do like her. Is there even a word for me?

well! first, i just gotta say that the person who knows u best is u! so everything i’m gonna say is just coming from my own understanding and experience. 

honestly, pinning down an identity label u feel comfortable with is sometimes just about (and i told a friend of mine this just the other day) trying stuff out—that is, trying labels out, or accepting that you don’t want one. i hope i’m not wrong is assuming ur also a girl (if i am, sorry!) i think for girls especially it’s tough feeling like you’re “allowed” to call urself anything but straight bc of how much we’re expected to just want men, to just be in relationships with men. (personally, it took me a long time to shake off all those expectations and finally think of myself as a lesbian. like i said, it’s all about opening up possibilities.) what i’m saying is, sometimes the urge to resist certain labels comes out of the negative baggage society pins to those words. like, for instance, society tends to hyper-sexualize words like “bisexual” and “lesbian”, so that might make them alienating words to girls who just want to describe their experiences.

sorry about the essay lol! if ur comfortable with it (and if u haven’t done so already) i would definitely recommend talking about these worries u have with ur girlfriend. congrats, by the way! i wish u both happiness ^_^

#hopefully that made sense even a little bit... and hopefully it was helpful! #anon #ask

[httpjeon]

Hi! I already looked if you have a trigger list or smth but I didn’t find one so I rly hope I‘m not making you uncomfortable or I‘m overstepping your boundaries with this,, but how does one find out that their asexual? I sometimes wonder if I am but idk if it‘s just something else? If I google something about this it‘s always just weird answers that are like „you just need to get laid then you‘ll find out!🤪“ and it‘s .. uh.. not helping? So yeah you have personal experience?

no no i don’t mind talking to ppl about things!!

i found out i was ace by having sex tbh. but tbh i always…sort o knew i was? i always knew i was u comfortable irl with anything sexual. i just sort of…went thru the motions of it because i thot it was normal and i wanted to be normal.

for a while i thot i was pan and i was really confused for a long time. i knew i was aro when i was like 16 because i just couldn’t get myself to like someone like that and i would get uncomfortable bu the barest amount of romantic intimacy. like if a guy held my hand i’d like EHHHHHH if i kissed a girl id be like EHHHHHHHHHHH so i figured that out fairly easily.

but for some reason i was just….ignoring the possibility i was ace for some reason???

i also didn’t think i fit it well. because i always thot asexuality was a lack of sexual attraction/desire but i…like porn? i like smut? i like jerkin off as much as the next bitch. so i felt like…i couldn’t identify myself as that because i wasn’t a perfect fit, you know what i mean?

so i had sex. and then i cried on his bedroom floor (while he was out the room i had bitch don’t cry in front of a man 😤). and then i got home and locked myself in my room and cried for 2 days.

and then like a moron i did it again.

two more times.

and then i finally realized that…….i didn’t like it. i didn’t want to do it at all. i was just forcing myself bc i wanted to make myself like it, i guess is the best way to put it?

and at that point i was like maybe i’m fuckin ace. so i stopped doing anything and i’ve not had a single urge to do anything with anyone since and i’m perfectly comfortable and accepting of being ace.

now, my method was no doubt completely unhealthy. you shouldn’t do anything that you feel would be damaging to your mental health and safety. i’m just a fuckin idiot.

i’d say that if you find that you don’t want to have sex. then don’t. you don’t need to label yourself immediately. give yourself time to wait, thing it out, maybe explore if you really feel you want to or need to. there’s nothing wrong with putting yourself in a label and later changing it — call yourself ace if it feels right and it somewhere down the line you realize it doesn’t fit; change it to what fits!

it’s fine to explore your sexuality as long as you do it safely. not everyone is going to fit into a defined box of sexuality either so don’t feel bad if ace says NO SEXUAL ATTRACTION and u find urself wanting to jerk it to some porn — everyone is different and it’s fine to not be a 100% perfect fit. just express yourself with what you think feels right and learn as you grow!

#im bad at advice but i try i swear #i hope this helped out a bit #these are the things that helped me come to terms with my asexuality #and these are thinfs that helped me learn and accept myself #i dont worry about what other people think #i dont care if people think im not a /good ace/ #or a /correct ace/ because im comfortable #labling myself as auch and ill continue to do so #because i feel at peace and comfortable where i am #and i maye change it later when im 32 who knows! #ask dayz #the masked #tw depression #tw anxiety #tw unhealthy coping mechanisms #idk what else could be triggering and idk how to tag it #if something needs to be here let me know

[mori-sketchbook]

Hey Mori-sketchbook this is a personal question but how do you know if you love someone?

????? ok gimmi a second to be weirded out at being addressed that way it makes it sound like this is a bot but then why would a bot be asking me about love oh god

but honestly u might either be asking the best person or the worst person depending on ur point of viewstory time, im Polyamorous, i love multiple people but i love them for different reasons. one of the biggest failings i see in relationships is expecting one single person to meet all of ur criteria/needs and that is never gonna happen. I met my partner when i was 16, we bonded as friends we fell in love we moved across the country to be with each other we had similar hobbies and interests. and you know what happened over time? we stopped caring about those particular hobbies, and interests stopped aligning. Did that matter? ultimately no, because we love each other as people, for who we are not what we do. Has it been easy/ fuck no, we’re both utter messes of mental health but again, outwardly and inwardly we can see who we really are and thats who we love.It took us both a while to get our heads around polyamoury as its not an easy conversation to have but gradually we realised that we weren’t holding everyone to a set level. not everyone had to be “loved” the same amount or the same way. I love my best friend, and ye u might say “well ye but thats ur friend” but no, i would happily have them live with us, grow old together and all that. Would it be stupid to do so? yeah probably, but we still care about each other enough that it’d work out in its own way. would we get married, have kids, expect the same things from each other as me and my primary partner do? no not at all, they’re a completely different person and our relationship is completely different too.My second….”partner/friend/boo/log distance emotional fuck buddy” (we dont have a label ok?) again is completely different, as is our relationship and our standing. We are comfortable essentially just being buddies who cant sit on the couch all day playing video games and kissing cuz we live in different countries but thats the vibe we have. and we love each other AS that. Again would i marry them? not unless for legal purposes no (also theyre already married so thatd be fun) but that doesn’t mean anything to us, that isnt the “height” of who we could be as partners. Our high point is pretty much were we are now, sure being rich and able to visit would be a big bonus but oh well.In contrast to that i do want to live with my primary partner forever, i enjoy the idea of us getting married but that word isnt right for us and we’re trying to find what our version of marriage is. would we have kids? maybe, adopted and much later on if it was right for us but does that hold that relationship higher than the rest? in a sense yes, they are, after all, my primary, i would give my life for them. But am i at the “height” of these 3 relationships? yes, and in *that* sense they’re potentially more equal.My primary too is dating other people, but their goal is to experience platonic enjoyment, go on dates and just generally have the “start of relationship” feeling while being comfortable and happy in something more “classical” when at home.ok so this has gone a very long winding tangent that probably makes little sense but like hell am i proof reading. My point in all this mess however is this; I don’t think you do know when you’re in love to begin with, I think you act upon the question of whether or not you’re in love and see if it fits you. If it does great, you have something to build on and grow and then label as love. However if ur sat there currently in a relationship and you’re wondering if you’ve been lying to urself or staying around and arent sure if its worth it then thats a very different subject BUT… knowing that you should not be seeking EVERYTHING from a single person might help give u some perspective. No one person will ever meet your every need, that’s not how life works. Ultimately though, do what you feel is right, see if it makes you happy, if it does then yeah, it was probably love, if not, no matter you can try again another day, just don’t go holding back because ur waiting for some miracle feeling or expectation

[thotfuss]

hi! sorry to bother u but i remember how you used to identify as bi (or maybe pan?) and lately you've been calling urself a lesbian. has your identity changed? and how did u figure it out? i'm just asking bc i've always called myself bi but now i'm confused and am leaning more towards the lesbian label, however i'm not sure how to be sure. sorry if this is confusing/personal xx

Hi! I’m sorry i took so long to answer this, it got buried in my inbox :”(

I had id’d as bi since i came out which was I think last summer?? i think? and the label felt right for a while but my feelings kinda progressed from my initial reaction upon finally realizing i liked girls which was “i can just not come out, marry a guy, and never think about it again and i might not be happy but i won’t be miserable” to “i’m like 10% into girls specifically the one girl who made me realize i wasn’t straight” to “50-50 equal halves” to “i really just want to date girls but guys are annoying so that’s why so i’ll just say I have a preference for girls.” but the label really stopped feeling right i guess? mostly because I hated the idea of people thinking that I was actively interested in dating guys, so I tentatively started using the lesbian label and I still am right now and to be honest it still feels a little bit wrong but i think that’s because i’m still dealing with  lot of compulsory heterosexuality.

The thing that tipped me off was that I had NO problem being nice to guys, hanging out, doing that weird flirty banter, even saying i had a crush on them, etc, but as soon as a guy showed any hint of an interest in me like asked me to hang out 1 on 1 or gave me a hug, any time I imagined dating them, I would feel wildly uncomfortable and then usually I’d turn into a massive bitch and be really mean and ice them out because I didn’t know what else to do. So I finally realized i guess that I didn’t HAVE to date guys if I didn’t want to and while I still find some guys really attractive and am able to briefly entertain the idea of being into them, if I really think about the possibility of dating them it feels incredibly wrong.

I guess my advice would be to see if you have any hints like this? like are you comfortable being romantic with a guy or does it make you feel gross and uncomfortable? Do you ever have crushes on guys and then hate it when it ever becomes a possibility? stuff like that. And also, don’t be afraid to “try on” the lesbian label. You’re not doing anything wrong by seeing if it fits. Practice thinking about yourself as a lesbian instead of as a bi person. Does it feel better? worse?

Compulsory heterosexuality sucks and its SO confusing and honestly I think most of us are going to deal with it for a long time but you’ll be able to figure it out I promise, just don’t push yourself to label yourself as something that makes you uncomfortable.

[httpumblr]

I'm agender and.. uh, I don't know what to call it but like I've only ever found myself attracted to afab people?? And I feel like low key really bad about this, and it's not like I would refuse to date an amab (tho im like 99.9% sure I'm not into cis guys?) person? But like I've just never been attracted to any I've met yet? Before I figured out my gender I use to id as a lesbian.. and I'm not sure if like, if I can use qu**r as an id cause I know a lot of ppl think of it as a slur (1/2)

So I guess my question is, do you think it’s ok for me to identify as queer.. ive had ppl tell me that I should just say like agender lesbian, but I feel like that takes that away from not only lesbians, but also myself because of the fact I don’t identify as a girl, idk.. sorry if this is really annoying and stuff.. thank you, I really like your blog -blue anon (2/2)

hey!! its not annoying, we’re more than happy to help!

well, since ur not cis ur OK to identify as queer if u wanna! idk i think maybe its ok to call urself ‘pan’ bc it doesnt mean ur attracted to Everyone, ppl have preferences ya know! (it sounds like to me that ur attracted to female-aligned ppl ? bc they can b afab , amab , intersex n so on! i think its like a nb term to describe sga??? correct me if im wrong pls!!!) since ur agender ur ok to use queer as an id! just choose whatever label makes you comfortable!

#q slur // #Anonymous #FUFKCKKK IM SO SORRY THIS WAS IN OUR FRQFTSSSS WE NEVER POSTED IT IM SO SORRY

[garbagebabygirl]

happy friday i’m usually uninterested in “ace discourse” bc it’s always so lame and bad on both sides but literally. can y’all stop for a moment and recognize the nuance in sexuality and understand that asexuality is not just a cutesy thing and that it can manifest in connection with things like gender dysphoria, trauma, mental illness, and like a million other things?? and just because someone identifies as ace doesn’t mean they hate hypersexual people (leap of the damn century) (because wow! hypersexuality is another sexuality nuance that manifests in connection with things like, you guessed it, gender dysphoria, trauma, and mental illness!) and if identifying as asexual is an umbrella term for any of these things that makes people comfy, why why why do you have to constantly get in their face about it??

and i get the argument of cishet aces not belonging in queer spaces, which in all honesty i still don’t know how i feel about. because when i was only identifying as ace and not as queer i didn’t feel like it was my place to be in those spaces. i don’t know, maybe it differs based on the individual and their other identities. but, as with all people in the LGBTQ+ community, there are a ton of intersecting identities (race, class, immigration status, etc.) that put people in these spaces at different levels of privilege.and as long as people are cognizant of their privilege level and what experiences that can/cannot speak from, then why do you have to be a gatekeeper and decide who’s allowed to seek comfort in these spaces?? like (hopefully) an asexual person would only speak to their experiences and recognize that they do have privileges over a trans woman of color. just like how (hopefully) a white cis gay man would recognize that they have privileges over a trans woman of color. like, identity is so so nuanced and i don’t see how it’s productive or necessary for some of you to take it upon yourself to make sweeping decisions about who is and isn’t allowed to belong.

and a lot of the kids with bad ace discourse that overstep their bounds and act entitled are literally 14 year olds that (like every 14 year old) says stupid shit and doesn’t have a clue, and it’s pretty gross that a lot of y’all are 20+ jumping down these kids throats (when a big chunk of ya are white/middle class anyway, so it’s not even like you understand the experiences of the homeless LGBTQ+ people you invoke to make ur Argurment). 

anywayss overall just like. chill please, and stop with these broad generalizations. y’all will be like “gender/sexuality is a construct that we don’t have the language to undo yet, so u have the power to define how u label urself and how u present” and then in the same breath be like “anyways if ur gender/sexuality/relationship doesn’t look like x, y, or z then you need to choke k thanks aceys ;)” like In All Honesty think about how acting this way on a damn website is conducive to productive conversations and a more inclusive understanding of gender/sexuality.

i identify as asexual (for all intents and purposes), but i’m also sexually active and i’ve also had periods of being hypersexual bc of my mental illness/god knows what reason. there have been times when sex has ruled and made me feel good and times that i’ve locked myself in my room and cried for days. it’s fucking nuanced and it makes you question every single aspect of yourself. and it would literally rule so hard to feel welcome in spaces with others who have similar dysphoric, nuanced relationships with sex and their bodies instead of getting yelled at by random nerds online!!!

 so yeah, essentially shut up and chill out!!! we’re all confused so don’t be fucking rude!!!!!!!!!! 

#ace of bass

[dreamerology]

If its not a burden all the gay questions

im gonna put this under the cut & hope i dont ramble 2 much

1. describe your idea of a perfect date

not 2 be cheesy but really anything were i can spend time w them…..like just walking around a mall pointing at stuff saying “you” and going 2 a cute coffee shop and Dude……if i lived near any body of water…..walking by the ocean? Cute & ideal

2. whats your “type”

a bright smile, someone who’s taller than me, also someone w a good/similar sense of humor & tbh someone who’s more outgoing than me nd will make me step out of my comfort zone 2 try new things!

3. do you want kids?

not rly no

4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth?

if i end up wanting some in the future i’d like 2 adopt! that was always the plan even before i knew i was gay

5. describe the cutest date you’ve ever been on

i havent been on uhhhhh many….idk if it counts but the day my ex asked me out we spent the whole day at this cute little fair in town, came home and napped & then went 2 see the fireworks later it was such a nice day

6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?)

i haven’t

7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay?

night time!!!!

8. opinion on nap dates?

Best Date…….big fan of naps

9. opinion on brown eyes?

brown eyes >>>>>>>>>> (i speak from experience, u can trust me) 

10. dog gay or cat gay?

cats!!!!!!!!

11. would you ever date someone who owned rodents or reptiles?

yes (i want a snake even tho nobody seems 2 believe me)

12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someone

how they treat others…..if ur rude i dont have time for u

13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one?

answered earlier!

14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger self

hmmm hide ur shit better and dont feel the need 2 rush and come out if u dont think its gonna go well

15. (if attracted to more than one gender) do you have different “types” for different genders?

not rly no

16. who is an ex you regret?

i dont have one

17. night club gay or cafe gay?

cafe!

18. who is one person you would “go straight” for

minhyuk if that wasnt obvious enough (any of the monstas for that matter……:/)

19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay?

answered earlier!

20. favourite gay ship (canon or not)

ari & dante have my whole entire heart, thats just the facts 

21. favourite gay youtuber

i dont rly have one i dont watch youtubers that much

22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person?

ive never asked out someone in my life.......too chicken shit. even then i wouldnt b able 2 ask someone out unless i was like 90% sure they liked me back bc im terrified of Rejection 

23. have you ever been in love?

dunno dude........mayb so

24. have you ever been heartbroken?

yeah

25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someone

i…….honestly dont kno…..i havent been able 2 figure this out myself yet,, if anyone had unlocked the secret please lmk

26. favourite lgb musician/band

answered earlier!

27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gays

don’t feel like u need to rush to label urself or anything! i understand for some people its a comfort to have one, but if u dont or if u find u think another term fits better? thats ok! its not the end all be all. ur sexuality is fluid and can change over time, just use whatever is most comfortable and You in the present 

28. are you out? if so how did you come out

answered earlier!

29. what is the most uncomfortable / strange coming out experience you have

o sorta a long story that i dont rly wanna go into detail w (if u rly wanna kno come talk 2 me off anon) but pretty much my mom forced me to out myself 2 her…….yea that wasn’t fun. little tip: dont invade ur kids privacy folks! it will fuck them up! thanks for coming 2 my ted talk

30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexuality

i kno how hard and scary it can be, but things will change and get better in the future, you’ll hopefully be able to get out of that environment and surround urself w similar people and those who genuinely care. things will get better and u arent alone 

#thank u anon!!!!!! #we are gay nd valid on main tonight folks! #answered #anon