#also I do think there’s a major hole in the story when you think abt social media

[frayedcircus]

Whatcha thinking about rn?

i like horror, but you know what i like more than horror? what happens after the horror. what happens to the ones who survive.

an experience like that leaves you pretty messed up, especially if the events were in some way supernatural. like what are you gonna do when a demon kills all your friends? the cops show up and find you covered in blood, surrounded by bodies and you’re gonna tell them it was a demon? a monster? a ghost? there is no way they’ll believe you. and if they don’t think it was you, you’ll probably get institutionalized for telling people what really happened.

but if you choose to lie, keep the magical business a secret, you’re left with this horrible truth rotting a hole into your mind. you can reason away the events, try to forget it, but something like that will never really fully leave you. maybe you manage to block out at least the ghost parts, but those memories, that fear, will always be lingering in your subconscious. you will always, in the back of your mind, know.

and you’re suck with this. alone. everyone else who would fully believe you is dead. anyone you tell might apprehensively listen to your story, but they can’t fully believe you. how could they? they weren’t there. they didn’t see it all. but you did. only you did. you’re alone in this truth, no one to tell, no one to talk to who would really listen.

it’s a special kind of loneliness, the isolation that comes with such a burning secret.

(tma the lonely tma the lonely???? i could talk a lot most abt how this ties in specifically with the lonely from the magnus archives)

the horrors you experienced cast a shadow over your whole life, your whole future. what’s the point of anything if there are demons and monsters and horrible evil things beyond mortal human powers? college certainly seems insignificant in the face of an eternally hungry evil.

it’s interesting to see how traces of these themes show up in media that isn’t horror as well. children’s media where the teen main character discovers another world? so often in those stories, keeping this discovery a secret from their family and the rest of the world is a major point of distress. We see them bonding with people in this new world, but when they inevitably have to return to their own dimension, of course it’s so much harder for them to connect with their peers or participate in normal activities. befriending jessica seems a lot less significant now that you’ll never be able to share with her this place that is so important to you. history class or ballet lessons dont seem so useful when you’re learning to cast spells with your new fairy friends.

in more recent media(i’m thinking of two specific cartoons that i won’t name bc spoilers), the main characters share a lot more with their family and friends, and they’re mainly very supportive and loving which i find really nice. it helps the main character feel grounded in their own world and less isolated.

anyway back to horror movies, so many of them cut off right after the “final girl” is saved, which i think is a real shame. i knowww i know the main plot is over and the after stuff isn’t really necessary but MAN is it interesting. show me the survivor going back to school and not being able to find words for what happened when someone asks. show me them debating how much to tell their family and friends. show me them trying to return to normal and ignore how everything feels hollow. show me them struggling and healing and falling apart. pls and ty.

(also like two hours ago i saw a guy with the LONGEST pair of wireless earbuds i’ve ever seen and i’m still reeling from how strange they looked)

#TLDR: grrrrrrrrrrrrrr ggrrrrr foaming at the mouth exploding shaking running in circles #MAYBE this is abt the magnus archives #but also maybe this is just bc i watched a horror movie recently #or maybe it was all those scary story readings i’ve been listening to #or maybe it’s just october! #how am i supposed to tag this #rambles #horror #tma #tma lonely #horror movies #the lonely #asks

[fourteenfifteen]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let's spread the self-love 💞

tagged by @thehallstara and @leonstamatis thanks friends : )

five favorite is so tough. so tough! but i’m not going to overthink it here’s a gut check answer

direct membrane interface (fatt: palisade)

YAYYYY BLOOD i love writing gross bloody stuff and had a lot of fun w this fic. i have some agonies over being mostly a short fiction writer and also i know gross shit isn’t everyone’s cup of tea so the positive response to this and my other little cori fics has been really nice and appreciated lol they are so me on my bullshit

business is business (original work)

favorite is a bit of a strong word but i was thinking abt this one and think it was extremely slept on. i love writing original fiction and had a great time w this which is a monsterfucking story i did for an exchange. and it was fun ok. major win for self-indulgence and gross shit

avoiding it (the hunger games)

a gale/madge fic about them both having feelings for katniss. both a labor of love and an idea that i had and went SURELY someone has written that already (and then was so surprised when i couldn’t find it). this is the most kudosed fic on my ao3 and obv that is 99% just bc of the fandom but i can’t be mad abt it, i love how it turned out

you will not go to heaven, you’ll go to kansas city (blaseball)

ach i love this one. truly took over my life for a week and a half (as shown by it having been written in that amt of time i’m not very fast or verbose lol). i published other blb fics after this but in my heart it’s my goodbye to blaseball - the weird scary messiness of it, the strange shape of characters’ stories, and all the strange things it inspired me to write. i feel like i need to send the band old ‘97s a christmas card as thanks for the inspiration

black hole oral history project (blaseball)

not just a me fave but a fan fave too lol. the things worth saying abt this fic are that i agonized over it for literally two and a half weeks and that it came out exactly how i wanted it to.

sure that works as a list. ty for the tags stara and tb! i will be tagging uhhh @rozecrest @swallowtailed @littleladymab and anyone else who wants to ik everyone says that and that it feels embarrassing to capitalize on but fr do it and use me as your excuse

#there are some other blb fics i could have plugged #namely the nagomi meng/jt fic #and the joderush fic and the kranch fic #but i feel satisfied w this list #if anyone is for some reason interested in reading these blb fics but lacks context i’ll give u an explainer #i don’t mourn the loss too much but yeah i’ll do it lol #cool b does cool things

[oedipushansen]

Do you have any good YA recommendations that have actually dark themes or depict teenagers in a way that's even remotely realistic? I never read YA bc it always feels so fake but maybe I'm not looking in the right places

OKAY so. please hear me out bc im abt to recommend u a fanfiction series but i swear to god its very far removed from the source material so u can just like. read it on its own. it’s called twin skeletons (here’s the link), and i’m sure i’ve talked abt or at least mentioned it on my blog before but its just very very special to me !! it rlly feels like ur getting in the heads of these Awful teenagers and all of the subjects r dealt w/ in like. such a raw & unfiltered way in my opinion. it doesnt feel fake or preachy or like the reader is being talked down to or anything. the writing can be messy & imperfect bc its a fic from a couple years ago, but i still think its so so good and so worth it. the characters felt so real to me & it was dark & complicated & frustrating & it managed to stick w me years after reading it & i love it so much. i use it as a big inspiration for how i would want to write teenagers if i ever. like. actually got arnd to writing anything. maybe my own sentimental feelings r making me biased but god i just think its such an amazing coming of age story and the writer just Understands how teenagers think and act so well and u should absolutely read it if u want a realistic YA story

for actual published work, i have more trouble bc u r right! finding published YA that doesnt try to water things down can unfortunately be v difficult & most of these r just books i read in my school’s library or in the Teen Section of my local bookstore a long time ago & particularly stuck w/ me & some of them im not even like. That sure counts as YA i just know that im a Young Adult who read & enjoyed it & it was also abt Young Adults. maybe its cheating but i honestly dont think that whether or not its Officially Supposed to Be YA is that important, im assuming ur just trying 2 find good coming of age stories

these arent in any particular order im just listing off whatever i think

speak by laurie halse anderson

allegedly by tiffany d jackson

forgive me, leonard peacock by matthew quick

dare me by megan abbott

perks of being a wallflower by stephen chbosky

catcher in the rye by jd salinger (uve most likely already read this but it wouldn’t feel right to leave this classic out)

my heart & other black holes by jasmine warga (a little rushed at times but felt like a breath of fresh air after trying to read annoyingly pretentious trainwrecks like fault in our stars & all the bright places. does what those novels Tried to do but manages it well in my opinion)

these violent delights by micah nemerever (not considered YA lol but i asked the author personally & the characters r like. 16-17 for majority of it & its an incredible book that i want everyone to read anyway so! why not put it here)

my dark vanessa by kate elizabeth russell (definitely not supposed to be YA but a lot of it is from the perspective of a teenage girl & i can imagine it being in my school’s library & its very good & relatable so!! again why not put it here!!)

black iris by elliot wake (i think this is considered more new adult than YA but whatever)

fault line by christa desir

forbidden by tabitha suzuma

hell followed with us by andrew joseph white (not sure if u can call this realistic considering its fantasy but its dark & definitely YA & it has body horror & i liked it so it’s going in)

house of hollow by krystal sutherland (again, this is a fantasy, but i thought it was pretty good when i read it & its YA so it’s going in)

i’m somewhat delirious after taking a nap so im srry if this is like 97% of me just rambling or not making sense. i know our tastes r probably not the same so some of these (or just YA in general) may not be for u but i rlly hope u enjoy or appreciate any of these if u ever decide to read them <3

#if anyone else has any recs feel free to comment them :] #i havent gotten the chance to read the raven cycle or all for the game but based on how ive seen ppl on here talk abt it they seem good #asks

[tfw-no-tennis]

one piece liveblog chapters 813-814

ayyy

813

liiiiisten this is some of my favorite shit. like, the trope where a big reveal happens in front of other characters and they react to it and stuff? delicious.

'you think I know or care about your family issues?' hvbajhdfbajskdfhb bege

sanji being so blindsided is hhhhh delicious

BROOO the flashback to jaya (!) with sanji mentioning he's from north blue and brook pointing out he'd had to have traveled over to red line to end up in east blue....hello!!!! insane forshadowing my god

tbh I don't think oda had this planned from the beginning, or even from when he put that in jaya - it was such a small moment that it could've easily remained as is and it wouldn't have been a plot hole or anything

buuut I think oda did a great job leaving a lot of avenues open to do exactly this - expand on an existing character in a major way without it feeling cheap or sudden

like, I absolutely believe that sanji had a second secret tragic backstory that he never mentioned before. that makes complete sense in the context of the story!

yeeeeah pretty obvious (at least to the reader?) that sanji has been chosen for an arranged political marriage to unite the vinsmokes and big mom - though it also has the effect of linking the strawhats to big mom thru sanji as well. uh oh!

I'm soooo glad that the whole arranged marriage thing was played straight and there was no question of sanji potentially leaving the crew for a marriage bc he loves women sm or whatever. I was afraid it was gonna get treated as a joke/gag but thank godddd that wasn't the case and the arc was too serious for that 🙏🏼

like even here, there's no moment of sanji being like 'ohhh a woman oooh' he str8 up says 'I'm not marrying someone I've never met'

and like. ugh I wish sanji's character was less 'creepy and weird abt women' and more 'romantic about love.' that would be sooo interesting here, bc I DO think sanji is a romantic at heart and that's part of why he would never accept an arranged marriage, but also still wants to try to make it work/holds out hope that they could be compatible, etc

sanji saying luffy's gonna be pirate king 🙏🏼😭😭

lmfao sanji saying whatever take caesar we're leaving. yea ditch that chucklefuck

honestly love bege he's great here as a villain and I love his gangster theme and I really like his character arc during wci

vito is one of at least 2 Tongue Guys in this arc lmao

mannnn what did he say to sanji??????

honestly the emperors are hype as FUCK especially at this point in the story where we haven't directly dealt with them much...

sanji leaving the note and saying he never meant to hide anything from them....hhhhhh and its TRUE he seems like he genuinely never thought he'd have to deal with the vinsmokes ever again, let alone be used as a pawn in a political marriage by them

and pulling the classic move where he's like 'I have to resolve this by myself' oh babey buckle up time for a rescue arc fuck yes

the way he just yeets them out of bege lmao

no rights for caesar lmao good

MANNNNN SANJI BEING SO COOL...I love when sanji is written well wwwww

him threatening caesar, who they need alive, and deducing that the reason his bounty poster says 'alive only' is bc of this wedding thing, so they can't really harm him...yummmm

sanji quickly doing the math and realizing that giving himself up here is the only way to strike a bargain and make sure his crew is safe 😭 dude aughghhhh

and surely he feels extra responsible bc he's in charge of their little group while the rest of the crew is in dressrosa

they call bege godfather, love it

nekomamushi is sooo fucking cool I love his fangs

dangggg bege just lying and saying one of jack's men killed/injured pekoms

AUGHHH i looove the panel of sanji smiling and telling the crew he'll be back ;_; mannnn

fr looks like he's about to die horribly and knows it tho damn.

and of course he says 'this is my problem' bc he doesn't want to burden the crew, or put them in danger, so he sees it as something he has to resolve on his own

yeah okay like that worked out so well for nami and robin lol c'mon sanji of course luffy isn't gonna let that happen

and his note oughghhghh. so badass and casual and also just 👀👀

SO HYPE. MY GOD

814

KUREHA AND DALTON WWWWW DRUM ISLAND AWWWH

brook should 100% sing random exposition and filler stuff more often plsss

ok so pekoms didn't die. I figured lol

nekomamushi running after the catnip hvbhajksdfbjksfdn

LMFAOOOO brook making stuff up for his song abt nekomamushi....valid

bro I love luffy so much he's like oh cool sanjis gonna get married but he said he's coming back, I wonder if he'll bring his wife, that's chill

hhhhhhhhhh everyone can see that sanji is throwing himself on the sword to keep the straw hats out of it, and him claiming he'll return is hopeful at best - but of course luffy wouldn't see that bc to him there's no question that sanji wouldn't be part of the crew

awwwh chopper crying :(

zoro acting all blunt and uncaring...ohhhh I have so many thoughts about this

I do think zoro really DOES think sanji can handle himself and doesn’t necessarily need their help - tho that doesn’t turn out to be the case

I love too that zoro immediately backs up his attitude with facts - they just put themselves right in kaido's line of fire, and they can't just ignore one of the emperors...they're at the point in their journey where shit is heating up

zoro: we don't have time for a crewmate rescue arc we're too far along in the story for that

and like it's kinda true, I feel like rescue arcs tend to take place closer to the beginning of a story as an easy way to flesh out characters and interactions, so one taking place past chapter 800 (!!!) and with one of the well-established main characters is kinda wild

like, wci ran the risk of feeling/being kinda redundant character-development-wise (obviously it was always gonna have important plot stuff w/big mom) but instead. it slaps

oh yea zoro mentioned kin'emon. where the fuck did he and the other guy go lol

to be fair. luffy did already pick a fight w/big mom lmao sanji didn't start that beef

also again I love how opposite zoro and sanji are as characters - zoro doesn't have a complicated past w/his family, and if he were in sanji's place he'd probably just be like 'nah.' and deal w/the consequences directly

but of course sanji loves self-sacrifice so here we are

luffy being like. well. lets ask sanji! I LOVE HIM SM....

luffy really said okay kaido can wait lets go tangle w/another emperor first. he's so iconic

luffy suggesting they'll be quiet....................have to laugh vhbjakusdfslfd

mannnn the scenery and environments in one piece slap

PEDRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lmao remember when everyone thought chopper was gonna get a mink gf during zou...listen this is one piece we're talking abt. no romance allowed (mostly)

IS NEKOMAMUSHI EATING LASAGNA. HBVHJKSDBFJKSJBF

EPIC GARFIELD REFERENCE

chopper being the stern doctor...love it. it truly is tough when patients ignore your instructions. but also chopper lives in the one piece world so everything is kinda crazy anyways

nekomamushi is soooo funny vhbahkdsjfxhbksfdbh him being serious then instantly chasing a ball and injuring himself. helpp lmfao

'I'm only in bed because I decided to be' that is Exactly something a cat would say lmao

ooooh pekoms isn't dead

VINSMOKE LORE DROP TIIIIME

oh jk cliffhanger tiiiime!

pekoms saying that the vinsmokes are famous assassins and active in the underworld really DOES make it seem like they're a mafia family like people theorized

love the contrast of pekoms saying the vinsmokes are assassins over a panel of sanji smiling. excellent

zoro and perona in the SBS doodle wwwwww love them. mihawks weird goth kids

OH MAN these chapters are great. I love the buildup to whole cake - the tension is excellent, and it's really hard to tell at this point where the story will go.

we still haven't learned a lot about the vinsmokes yet and thinking abt it now, sanji's reaction doesn't even tell us that much about them - he's prone to self-sacrifice so he probably would've gone no matter what

I mean its obvious there's a reason sanji has never mentioned his biological family before so clearly it isn't a huge leap that they're evil, especially as we slowly learn more abt them

anyways this is dope but I gotta go to bed...more to come!

#lj reads one piece

[supernovaa-remnant]

well, since you're alright with it, i'm not gonna hold back lol

first of all, i just need to mention interstellar because i love that movie too. though for me it's less about the science and space and more about the way it's made. not to bring my passion into this but it's just such a great movie. the cinematography is fucking incredible and the story is just so insanely good.

continuing, wormholes are just so fascinating to me as a concept!! it would be so cool to find out if they're able to exist and especially if we could "create" them.

ganymede is another moon i think is super pretty to look at. i don't know how to explain it but i really love the way the surfaces look like their own little universes i guess??? that's the best way i can describe it lol

and titan really sounds interesting!! i'm definitely gonna look into the missions you talked about, would love to find out what they could find in samples from there.

last but not least, relating back to something you mentioned, but do you believe in life outside of our planet/solar system??? personally, i think there's actually a pretty high chance of us not being alone in the universe, especially because space is, like, big beyond comprehension lol for me, the thing is more about if we're ever going to be able to get in contact with other life forms (especially in a time were, like, both of us are still alive lol)

oh I wholeheartedly agree—the cinematography in interstellar is phenomenal. I don't know much about the subject, but, after I watched the movie, I turned to my friend and told him about the cinematic beauty of the movie. also!! never apologize about bringing your passion into the conversation!! I'd love to hear more abt the cinematography in interstellar :3

as for the story, I loved it so much. If I didn't major in astronomy, I was gonna major in creative writing. Like—writing is one of my biggest passions, and a common theme I like to both write about and read about is hope. And, ultimately, I feel like that's what interstellar was about. Hope. That no matter how dire it is, hope is always worth it.

Because the people on Earth could have given up and just lived out their lives and not tried. A lot of people wanted to do that. But Murph never gave up. The people chosen to find a new planet for humanity? They could have just gone with Plan B and started from scratch. But they didn't give up. And even after everything went horribly, they could have given up and tried to build on that barely hospitable planet. But they tried that crazy maneuver with using the black hole's gravity, and they didn't give up.

Not only does hope appeal to me in narratives, but it's a big part of why I love space. Space and space exploration in may ways is a representation of hope. At least in my mind.

I think that visually, there's a lot of beauty in a lot of planets and moon. I love the way you described Ganymede's surface :3

Extra terrestrial life??? I absolutely believe there's life out there. I did an entire school project on the statistics back in high school, but, statistically speaking, it's nearly impossible for there to be no life anywhere but this planet. Like you said, space is so big that people just can't truly comprehend it. And it's still expanding.

I think there are a lot of factors to consider when thinking about why we haven't run into any "intelligent" life. (in astronomy, the phrase intelligent life is used to mean life that both wonders about their place in the stars and has the means to send and receive signals from space).

Some of the more intriguing answers to this "paradox" (if life is abundant why haven't we seen it?) are the following:

a) maybe we're just not interesting enough to alien life to be worth communicating

b) it's possible that there's just no other life/intelligent life in this galaxy or even our cluster of galaxies

c) we don't know the timescale at which life exists on. everything we know about life in the universe comes from Earth, and we just haven't been around long enough to know. life on Earth has existed for an incredibly small amount of time. we don't know if life—let alone our definition of intelligent life—exists on a time scale of thousands of years, millions of years, or billion of years. if it's on the lower end of the scale, then it's possible that we just don't be around at the same time as other life (sad)

But, I don't know, I have hope. I have hope that one day humanity will meet other life. Maybe we'll create wormholes and travel to galaxy clusters far far away and find life there. Maybe life will find us. Maybe life in the universe is just beginning, and maybe everyone is simply around the same stage as us.

But I think it's so amazing that people have looked up and the night sky and wondered what's out there. Wondered who's out there. Is anyone out there? I mentioned this before, but space exploration to me is about hope. The hope that Earth wasn't a fluke and that other life does exist. The hope that maybe this—the wonder of space and the excitement at the prospect of life—can be something unifying. The hope that maybe someone else is looking up at different constellations asking the same question we are: are we alone? The hope that the answer to this question will be no.

#I just think it's cool #space #space exploration #space also isn't just the future #it's the past present and future imo #but I'm wrapping the post up here lol #as always ty for the ask sky <3 #stella answers #sky cdreambur #astronomy

[istadris]

(very long) Unicron vs Primus: some headcanons, and side-story fodder (most relevant to TFA)

Foreword: Through being in the transformers fandom, i read many a headcanon and watched many a series. Common things i noticed, that not much thought goes into unicron, primus themselves, or how and why anyone would care abt Earth in particular, through the endless conflict, and usual neglect of casualties for other species. And kind of plot holes as to why they always gravitate towards Earth too. As i consumed more content and revisited ideas, and looked at more irl science stuff, HFY stories, and just the sheer bs going on here on a day-to-day business, i had an eureka moment. Basically my random headcanons chrystallized into a condensed version, even though some elaboration is required, so here we go!

Background elaboration: So what i got to know about the planet-brothers, is that they were made by either a higher being, or an ancient species, or both. At the beginning they were one, but got split, and their roles assigned. I think i read somewhere too, that while Primus accepted his role easily, Unicron didn't like it much. For a while there was balance. Eventually being hated, shunned, having a bleak existance, worsening relationships with his brother got to him, and not even being able to create only destroy, he became what he appears in most media as.

There are also hints of myriad deities, and creator species across the galaxy too, depending how much somebody invests to read every lore-crumb. Most galactic denizens acting like they are the top-of-the-world too, and claim their beliefs to be the right one, usually brandishing some legit minor or major proof of gift etc.. Especially cybertronians.

Humans can show up with none. Scientific research shows no immediate creator, as the evolution of life on the planet can be followed back to the beginning. Whether or not an asteroid bathed in a black-hole's jet and got naturally occuring organic molecules stuck inside it to chrystallyze into more complex forms before becoming life on Earth, or the process occured on-planet is irrelevant.

Either way natural entropy created the life on the planet, or an outside entity using it. Who is the regent of entropy and chaos in transformers universes? Unicron! So while he didn't build life by hand like Primus, he, with his "powers" created some life without even knowing! This aligns with him bein Earth in TFP too.

Headcanons abt the brothers, and their creations: 

The brothers: Primus always put duty, and protecting life first, so when he could't fight anymore, he created the 13, then the cybertronian race. He is formal and distant (usually), and gives every gift he can to his creations to keep em alive too. As a "parent" he is more of a helicopter-parent, spoils his "kids", yet stays hard to approach. May have regrets, or embarrasment towards them, but rarely hints it if true.

Unicron mosty has no idea about his creations, yet is involved a lot more. Like "father", like "kids", we live by consuming life, there aint no way around it. He gives no gifts, only hardships to survive, and "forge" you. If you want something, you gotta take it yourself. As a "parent" he gives tough love. What does't kill you makes you stronger, and he'll only relent if we can square up with him, so if we can survive him, we can survive anything. He takes time to process having creations, but once he does, proud af dad, loves his chaotic idiots to bits. Would definitely brag, and rub it under his brother's nose every chance he gets.

The creations: Cybertronians were built, given strong armor and weapons, given many gifts and relics, the ability to rough-adapt by transforming, long life, and power. They were told to protect life, they ended up usually doing anything but. Their civilization is stagnant, self repeating, and ends up with an ego and hunger for yet more power, that prevents caring about other species, or straight up hating them. They have a hard time accepting new ideas and often turn to violence and civil war because of this despite being the same culture, with some sub-cultures mixed in. The aversion to the different and the unknown can get so bad, that a whole branch of science can be missing because of it, best example: TFA universe. They seemingly (in universe pov) cannot reproduce without outside help. Their civilization is seemingly always on the brink of total war or starvation, have destroyed their home(s) in war and pollution too. Started out good, ended up destructive.

Humans(& other earthlings) were given nothing, only hardships to survive, and chaos to adapt to. Between the rules of nature and the multitude of chatastrophic events, no creation was spared, but those who survived became tougher. Humans were given nothing free: not the chance to be born, not health, not food, not safety, not weapons, just nothing.  Humans had to become the most enduring mf-ers on the planet to survive (se HFY stories), and only when they had become succesful already to have enough surplus of nutrients for it, could we afford even sentience. Like all earthlings , have short lives, but the ability to reproduce on their own. Independent without direct hands-on divine guidance and help, and capable to live together and cherish eachother despite entirely different worldwievs. Started out horribly, but always sought to better and humble themselves, and eventually took responsibility to take care of other life without being asked, including the role they evolved into. In TFA famine, homelessness ,or war aint an issue anymore for example. Everywhere people always double-check their leaders, and try to avoid conflict if possible. Started out rocky and destructive, ended up good.

Summary: Both creations reflect the part of their creator, that they are not often seen as, and fit together like yin, and yang. This would also explain their constant encounters, and differences. Like warped mirrors of their respective sides.

Idea for side-story(mostly TFA, but can be used elsewhere): Unicron having his scouts either deserted, or away, and him being still not well enough to move his own body yet this early, creates an avatar to blend in, and scout instead. He hears about the commotion on cybertron and diguises as an autobot. He is a grumpy punk old man usually. Thus he meets some humans stationed on cybertron for looking after Sari, or in other important roles. Humans are salty about the general treatment and situation. They flock to the Optimus crew or older bots when available, as they tend to be chill. This includes him, whom they favour most due to supporting them having an attitude back, and instantly connect in that. They adopt him as the local dad/old dude figure, like father, like kids. Shenanigans and hilarity ensues.

Side-story tldr: Organics in general, especially humans are regarded as Unicron's unholy spawn out of ego, turns out the second one is right but kind of wholesome way. Unicron finally gets his own gaggle of loving spawn, and they up to no good together. Possible character development, and funny stuff. Humans end up as the "equivalent" of succubi, more funny, wholesome, and lewd, as opposed to the usual killy followers and death-knights. Imagine the pranks, lol !

ps: (sorry for any bad grammar if there's any)  clothing and prev lewd headcanons fit right in here too ;) 

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My dear Mochifrog, you have no idea how badly I wish to read this fic as a full fledged project, and all the more if it does involves the Transformers Clothing Kink

#submission #Transformers #bot clothing kink

[artsyturtle16]

A Potentially Plausible(?) Luz Palisman Theory (for fun)

Okay so a while back I fell down a rabbit hole while researching will-o’-wisps and I came across “Boitatá”, a creature from primarily Brazilian mythology whose legend was inspired by the same phenomenon as the Wil-o’-the-wisp, and I think it would make a really cool palisman for Luz. With Season 3 now having an official release date only a month away, I thought it was about time I shared this little thought.

(Under a cut bcuz it’s a lil long, I tried my best to summarize tho ;-;. Also MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE S2 FINALE)

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Small note: Ik the snake palisman theory doesn’t have a lot of evidence, but since we’re dealing with a flaming serpent just consider this an extension of that. Also plz tell me if I got smthn wrong abt Boitatá, I only found info through research, not personal experience so I’m really sorry if I anything is inaccurate!

To start, a quick explanation of Boitatá’s legend, and the ways it reminds me of TOH (there are a few versions of the story with slightly different details, but they still convey the same overall idea. So, for the purposes of this, I’ll use the version that I thought fits with Owl House the best.):

The story tells of a flood sent to wipe out the inhabitants of a forest, covering it in darkness. Some of the animals from the forest fled to a high-up cave to escape and wait for the flood to pass. Among them was a snake who had always lived in caves, and was the only creature in the group who could see in the dark. It took advantage of this to attack the rest of the animals (as well as the bodies left in the forest after the flood had passed) and eat its favourite treat: their eyes. Eventually, the snake had eaten so many eyes that the light in them made its own shine as bright as suns, and its body burst into flames. Now it roams the forests and fields at night, protecting the land and the animals within from poachers and other humans who wish to do harm.

Tbh I think that’s such a badass story I love it sm. But also the setting kiiinda mimics where we left off after King’s Tide. Luz, who lived most of her life in the human realm, has fled back to it with her witch friends after the draining spell was cast to wipe out everyone in the Boiling Isles. Just like the animals used to living in the light were suddenly trapped in darkness, the witches used to living in a world that was practically made of magic are now trapped in one where it doesn’t even exist.

A few other little points:

“Luz Noceda” translates to ‘night light’ in Spanish, which is similar to a lot of nicknames for wil-o’-wisps and the other myths based on the same phenomenon. “ghost light”, “spook light”, and the Argentinian/Uruguayan version “Luz Mala”, to name a few. She also has a big connection to light in the fact that it was the very first spell she learned, so having a palisman tied to all of that would be fitting.

Super dumb addition but, the whole “sweet potato” thing. Like, the only time it was said in spanish was when Amity used it to refer to Luz. So I just think it’d b kinda funny if the girl who got referred to as “batata” had “Boitatá” as a palisman.

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Alright, that’s kinda all I’ve got, I know it’s not a lot and is kind of a reach(tbh I’m personally a bat palisman believer) but it’s just smthn I enjoyed thinking abt. If you read this far just woah, thanks a lot for offering me a bit of your time, that’s super cool of you! And I wish you safety and lots of tissue boxes in preparation for season three :,)

#sorry this is so long I tried my best to shorten it ;-; #also horrendously formatted #toh #the owl house #luz palisman #toh theory #toh theories #toh s3 #toh s2 #never shared a theory before kinda scared ngl

[kitcat-italica]

Thinking abt the parallels with Jesus growing up in his adoptive father's workshop as an Artisan (and all the Design Major!Jesus HCs lol') and Judas coming from a family of Potters. I imagine Jesus' family being v. supportive and encouraging innovative design and talking with costumers abt what kind of product they'd want or need, but Judas' family as much more conservative abt it, with a traditionalist mindset, each piece of pottery the same old and. maybe Judas wasn't good with it at all ~ A

OOOH OK, BUCKLE UP BECAUSE I HAVE *THOUGHTS* :D

I fr have been having a brainstorm about Jesus's adoptive dad Joseph. (Toying with the idea of writing a fic about him...we'll see.) He's this regular craftsman, getting ready to marry this girl, when he finds out she's pregnant???? And then an angel is like "yo man it's cool, God chose her to carry His Son who will also be the Divine Savior Of The World, you can still marry her and raise this kid without any dishonor!" And he just...goes with it? And supports Mary? And raises this kid who isn't his? And teaches him how to make beautiful things as a carpenter?

I am having feelings about Joseph of Nazareth ok.

I'm picturing Joseph as this very gentle guy. Maybe Jesus as a young child would wake him up in the middle of the night, having the same recurring nightmare of how "they put holes in my hands and feet". (He still has a divine awareness of his fate from an early age, but he's still a human toddler with big emotions he can't yet regulate effectively.) And Joseph doesn't fully understand what it is Jesus is afraid of, but he soothes him that he's ok right now, and distracts him by carving different animal shapes in a piece of wood while he tells him stories about them :)

Meanwhile, Judas's dad is...not that. His philosophy is to keep your head down, do what's expected of you, and no one gets in trouble. But as Judas grows up, he sees that the world isn't fair. There's poor people starving, the Romans are oppressing them all, and why won't anyone try to fix this? He and his dad get into some heated arguments about this. Many a clay pot was smashed in the crossfire -_-

Then there's the coming out aspect of it. Joseph is like "that's great son, just be careful who finds out, not everyone is ok with that..." And Jesus just gives him that Look and is like "they will hate me for many things, but that isn't one of them" or some freaky prophecy shit like that (and Joseph is like O.o). Meanwhile Judas's dad is...less than thrilled about this. (And he wonders why Judas left town with the first guy passing through xD )

So yes. Joseph is a supportive stepdad! And I love him :D

And in light of these wildly different experiences growing up, maybe it killed any spark of interest in crafting/creative pursuits for Judas? Making things with his hands just gives him a headache, thinking about his dad and all the yelling. But when he sees Jesus happily making things, taking actual joy in the act of creation (and being oh so beautiful while he does it)...maybe it urges Judas to give it another try?

(Maybe Jesus teaches him how to carve something...guiding his hands with his own...being so patient...) (Judas has to scream into his pillow for an hour afterward, he's so in love it hurts)

#jcs 2012 #my fic

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

Serious Post For Once. MAJOR trigger warning for some fully-mask-off discussions of (mostly my own internal) racism, generally Actually Talking Abt Real Shit For Once.

ok, so..hm

I don't have the energy to try to write this academically rn so I'm just going to word-vomit it out.

I am really having....Feelings... about the characters of Grendel and Grendel's Mother, specifically re: race and BIPOC identities.

I personally am white as the driven snow (though Jewish, whatever that counts for in 2023. still 'wtf' abt all that personally).

I have been putting my heart and soul into a story centering modern/reincarnated versions of Grendel and Grendel's Mother for about three years now. they are some form of shapeshifter, usually take animalistic/monstrous/hybrid forms, often eat humans, and are canonically descended from Cain (kinda. its complicated but basically they are). they are also both EXTREMELY white.

I'd actually made this choice with an intentional eye on race, way back when this story started outgrowing its roots as a supernatural fanfiction (please dont ask). no longer limited to spn's Genuinely Concerningly White Actor Pool, I had to really look at these characters re: race and decide what I was doing going forward. At the time, I was already looking into Maria Dahvana Headley's "The Mere Wife", and its centering of race both intrigued and really repelled me. At first, the (lbr) graphic depictions of how this story's Grendel's nonwhiteness informs the violence against him shocked me in the way I think they were "supposed" to, and made me really take a step back and reconsider the entire narrative of Beowulf (though to b clear I was already pro-Grendel's side of things at this point) in terms of how closely it matched more modern treatments of BIPOC and specifically young men.

...and then I went "wait. isn't Maria Dahvana Headley white???"

after a LOT of research failed to provide any contradicting evidence, my self-reflection and serious though turned to genuine strong disgust. It felt, and still feels, VERY weird that a white woman with (afaik) white kids wrote a lot of the sentiments in this novel. if you've read it, you know the ones that I mean.

I attempted to research racial themes re: Grendel further and ended up in a rabbit hole about Cain, Ham, Mormons & Bigfoot (seriously.) and all of this, along with some other research, eventually led to the following conclusions:

narratives placing Grendel and His Mother as victims of racialized violence/heroic or sympathetic figures in a racially- and/or socially-conscious work are both amazing and necessary

not if they're written by white people. there's probably some exceptions but honestly that's just weird and makes my hair stand up(derogatory).

I am White People. I should not try to do this.

given the association (certain modern media almost bafflingly aside) between Cain/Ham and justifications for SLAVERY, I, a white author, should not only NOT make these characters BIPOC, but should lean pretty damn hard into their whiteness- it's not "reclaiming" exactly, it's like... "reclaiming"(derogatory)(ironic)

given the current political movements around Viking Shit, and SPECIFICALLY pseudopagan, christian-based anglo-saxon warrior male social orders, the figures of Grendel & His Mother can and maybe even SHOULD serve as symbols of active and violent resistance from within the communities (White As Shit) that the current alt-right claims to represent.

given ALL of that, the best way for me to write these characters is how I'm currently writing them- very white, very monstrous, would probably state their race as "fae" if asked and "white" and/or "european" if specified for human racial terms, explicitly monstrous, symbolic of both (my own) queer/disabled/neurodivergent rage, feeling of incompatibility with most/all friend groups or communities, as well as a larger theme of a "KILL ALL VIKINGS" fantasy enabled by them being Big Scary Creature Beasts.

However... its been a few years. I've been drowing myself in Anglo-Saxon Everything but fully ignoring racial and diversity issues, a huge part of this admittedly being irl stressors in my life that, shall we say, EXTREMELY reduced my capacity for basic empathy & Current Events Awareness to a degree that I'm only starting to repair. as part of this repair, I'm really questioning this. I've read some super fascinating stuff about Grendel & race recently, and yet.

...and yet

I can't shake the feeling that

as a white author, making this a race-centric narrative isn't just not my job/not my turft, its actually kinda pretty racist

however, refusing to write these characters for that reason then involves (at least internally) saying that "this kind of archetype" is ONLY "meant" to be written by BIPOC ppl, because "they're the only ones who really Get The Experience", and HOO BOY. THAT IS RACIST. that is me doing a great big racism right there.

...so what do I do? I really love my take on these characters. I've grown really attached to them. It seems like everything is actually pretty well in order for me in terms of why I made the choices I did- I've looked at the other things I could have done with these themes and they're Extremely Problematic At Best...

but I can't shake the feeling that I'm still missing something, fucking up somehow.

I'd genuinely welcome discussion on this, I'm not going to be offended or defensive about ANYTHING, legit if you want to tear this whole post apart via critique re: art or just my own biases, please do. I'm just trying to figure this shit out.

and possibly overthinking it. that is also definitely a possiblity.

*to be clear I don't hate or dislike Headley. I just don't GET her. I'm not sure WHAT to think.

#beowulf #grendel #mythology #folklore studies #writeblr #writing criticism #racism #tw racism #cw racism #tw ableism mention #classics #anglo-saxon #literary theory #vent #rant #longpost #artist struggles #long post #self critique #literature #history #religious studies #tw mormonism #white guilt #i mean lbr thats a think thats happening here for sure

[gayleafpool]

PLEASE elaborate on what u said abt soc omg I’m so curious you’re making me rethink my entire experience

GLADLY ok so i think that leigh bardugo is a clever writer i think she really knows how to use words and language in a way that’s poetic to read everything sounds nice which is something u don’t even realize u enjoy while reading. i also think she’s great at writing character interactions which can distract you from that fact that at the end of the day the plot is boring and overdone and full of holes. and also that most of her characters aren’t actually fully fleshed out and they do things that don’t actually make sense for their arcs because she’s insistent on fitting in a bunch of ur classic YA tropes. people will argue up and down that kaz and inej are different from ur typical “good girl has to fix the scary bad boy who mistreats her” but like when u boil it down that is what they are. its weird that kaz is portrayed as a sort of savior that inej is indebted to and it’s especially weird when you remember that he’s a white boy and she’s a brown girl. and yes i know that the book tries to pull a “he’s not her savior and she’s not responsible for fixing him” but the issue is that it fails at this. it SAYS this shit but it doesn’t actually happen it doesn’t actually work it makes no sense for inej to be with kaz she deserves so much better. ive got major issues with kaz and inej’s relationship that could be its own post. matthias as a character is a whole other story i still think that was such a horrible choice whyyy are you trying to make us sympathize with a guy who supports and took an active role in genocide i understand that people can change even when they’ve done unspeakably bad things but frankly i’m not interested in hearing their sob stories and i think putting so much energy into redeeming a character like matthias is weird and was a bad move. and putting him with a girl who is A PART OF THE GROUP OF PEOPLE HE WANTS TO KILL? yeah that was not a good idea. like in no way was this a good idea nor was it salvageable you can do enemies to lovers without doing shit like that. frankly the only romantic relationship that was handled well was jesper and wylan but surprise surprise they have the fewest moments and least development. every time kaz and inej or matthias and niña would interact i was like ughhhh. literally every other relationship was more interesting. i also don’t think the grisha world is that unique it’s just another “made up fantasy world with made up countries where people have magical powers” this has been done a million times before. the characters are in a gang they go on a heist this is nothing new. the girls are responsible for fixing their shitty love interests this is also nothing new. frankly i’m not even that impressed with the way trauma was portrayed and i say this as someone with ptsd it was just okay. it wasn’t anything mind blowing. overall: soc is just… alright. it’s every other YA novel you’ve ever read only it’s written by an author who has a fun writing style and is better at writing character interactions than the average YA author. it’s got a lot of problems too. there are some questionable and outright ignorant writing choices. it’s overrated. it’s a shitty boring salad and you’re trying to save it with really good salad dressing. idk

#woah this got long. also btw no hate to soc fans like i do enjoy parts of these books but that doesn’t mean i don’t have problems with them #asks

[paradisetemporarilymisplaced]

So I was being a basic bitch the other day and listening to my true crime podcasts when it occurred to me just how suspicious Nile’s “death” would look to everyone not in the Guard, leading me to a train of thought that, 2200 words later, absolutely got away from me but I can’t let go so I’m inflicting it on all of you!

To set the stage, we know the movie takes place over approximately a week. Here’s what happens to Nile from the military’s point of view:

She dies is very seriously injured

She heals without a scratch

Just before she’s supposed to be shipped out to Germany, she vanishes, leaving two men concussed (and presumably reporting being knocked out by a woman with short hair wearing civilian clothes)

She goes AWOL for several days

They get word from the CIA that she is to be reported killed in action (details unclear)

So, at the beginning of this very weird week, the USMC has to tell Nile’s family of her death critical injury. What her family was told depends on how long she was dead – a Google search tells me that family will be notified in person within 8 hours of a soldier’s death, but we don’t know how long her first death lasted. For an injury, however, they’d get a phone call to notify them and the unit would arrange for them to visit as soon as the soldier is transferred out of a combat zone. Like I remember when I was in high school, a guy from my church who was a Marine was really seriously injured in a helicopter crash in Iraq and from what I could tell, his parents were told immediately and were flown out to Germany to see him, so it stands to reason that Nile’s family would have been informed relatively quickly after her throat was slashed, one way or another.

And then, she goes AWOL. Her family would be notified while the USMC tried to figure out where she went, not least because the military would want to know if she’s contacted them. (And it’s possible that her family may have been on the way to Germany to see her since we know that’s where she was supposed to go!) So for several days:

Nile’s mom and brother have no idea where she is

They know she was seriously injured and most certainly should not have been moving around on her own

They can’t get a hold of her

The military can’t tell them anything

And the next thing they know for sure is that she was “killed in action.” After being injured and vanishing into thin air. And they presumably cannot produce her body or any concrete evidence of her death. In any case, something sketchy is going on, so they’re like. SMELLS LIKE A MILITARY COVERUP.

In a surprise to probably no one, there is a well-documented legacy of mysterious US military deaths, particularly of women of color (TW for sexual assault in these links). The cases of LaVena Johnson and Vanessa Guillenin particular have made national news because of their families’ persistence in seeking justice. Likewise, Nile is a Black woman, and her mom and brother are most certainly hypercognizant of (a) state violence against Black people and (b) these high-profile cases of suspicious military deaths. So her family are seriously side-eyeing the situation, knowing that (a) the military has a serious incentive (and a documented history) of covering up things that make them look bad and (b) nothing about Nile’s disappearance and supposed death are adding up.

And Andy’s right. Nile does come from warriors. And you know who else does? Her brother.

Don’t get me wrong. Nile’s mom would absolutely not back down. She’d know something was up and want to get to the bottom of it. But based on what I know about Gen X parents (mine), they’re not the most technologically savvy. Like they can use the internet, but they didn’t grow up with it the way we young millennials and Gen Z did. So Nile’s brother takes the lead. And what do zillennials do best?

Social media.

Nile’s brother starts going hard on any site he can, trying to get the word out to see if anyone knows what happened to his sister. He starts a Reddit thread. He starts a Facebook group. He reaches out to the media and true crime bloggers and podcasters à la Sarah Turney, getting loud and being a general nuisance in hopes of getting some answers. He gets his friends and Nile’s friends involved. Maybe eventually Dizzy, Jay, and others from Nile’s unit hear about it and reach out, telling him what they saw and how weird it all was. He’s drumming up interest, and soon “Nile Freeman” becomes a household name (at least among the true crime fans).

Copley is, of course, trying his best, but at this point there is just so much that it’s impossible for him to scrub everything. Sure, he can erase new footage of Nile and the Guard, but what can he do about Reddit threads and podcast episodes that are speculating something weird has happened? Maybe he could hack the sites and shut those things down, but honestly, that’s the last thing he’d want to do, because that only adds weight to the theory that Nile’s disappearance is a military coverup. So eventually he has to tell Andy what’s going on.

Andy, obviously, does not take the news well. However, she is also completely computer illiterate, because that’s Booker’s job and he’s the only one who ever bothered to learn what the internet is in any meaningful way. (She probably calls Booker for advice, and for the record, I think Booker would have no qualms about shutting down conspiracy threads, tinhats be damned, but Copley is too concerned about the consequences. He’s ex-CIA for crying out loud, he knows how it’ll look if they scrub every mention of Nile’s name from the internet.) Maybe she confers with Joe and Nicky but, let’s be honest, they’d be equally unhelpful. So at this point, she knows they have to bring in Nile.

But the thing about Nile is that she, too, knows how to use the internet (duh). Aside from her being a young millennial/digital native, we know from the cave scene where she’s giving Booker suggestions on how to track Copley that she clearly is even more computer savvy than the average person. And for that reason she almost definitely took over the day-to-day tech stuff after Booker’s exile. So I think it would be foolish to expect her to be unaware of what’s happening. She’s not contacting her family or posting on the message boards or anything, but she knows what’s up. So Copley and the team probably sit her down to “break the news,” but we know the girl does not have a poker face (see: literally shooting herself in the foot and not being able to play it cool whatsoever) and cracks immediately, telling them she’s seen everything about her case – she’s not interacting with any of it, she certainly didn’t instigate anything, but she knows. (And she is so goddamn proud of her brother.)

At this point, I’d like to pause and consider Nile’s role in the overall narrative of this movie. She’s set up as a foil to Andy, obviously, but she’s also a foil to Booker. Booker, who, like Andy, is a serious pessimist, but who, unlike Andy, still has very fresh memories and trauma associated with being the new kid, which have destroyed him. In his mind (and Andy’s), if Nile communicates with her family, she’ll become just like him in a century or two – bitter, alone, and stuck with her grief and memories of watching her family die and knowing they died resenting her. It’s a small sample size, but this is the only experience they have to go off of.

But it doesn’t have to be like that.

There’s been a lot of discussion of TOG being a fundamentally queer movie – a group of people brought together because of something inherent about themselves that is different, that must be hidden, that causes others to hate, fear, and reject them. Booker’s backstory is the archetypal traumatic “coming out” story – his family learns who he is, hate him for it, and attempt to cast him out of their lives. He’s stuck with his trauma, his pain, his loss, and it consumes him.

But what if Nile’s family would be the opposite? What if her “coming out” to them as immortal is met with acceptance, love, celebration? What if her family is just overjoyed to have her back, and they don’t care what the circumstances are? I'm reminded of this incredible post from @shitty-old-guard-deaths a while back, where Nile’s mother hits Booker with a frying pan because “my baby let me believe she was dead for FIVE YEARS based on your bad advice???” (which may or may not have inspired this whole tangent). Nile takes the advice of someone who did the same thing she wants to do because she doesn’t want to risk her family’s rejection. She wants the good memories with her family and is afraid that showing them her true self will bring her unbearable pain, forever replacing those memories. But, with high risk comes high reward.

Anyway. Nile and the team are trying to come up with a plan for how to handle this whole thing, but she’s not really participating because she’s too afraid to hope. Until finally, quickly, so she doesn’t lose her nerve, she suggests she reach out to them, knowing that, realistically, that’s the only solution before things snowball even further out of control. The team is shocked, but realize that she has a point. They decide that Copley should actually be the first point of contact, posing as a US government official to talk with them and test the waters.

So Copley goes to Nile’s family’s house to talk with her mom and brother. They’re probably distrustful and apprehensive, but nonetheless secretly ecstatic that their work has paid off. They talk and review all of the information that they’ve collected, including testimonials from the people on Nile’s base and recent sightings (along with photos) of Nile (with the same three people) over the last few years that people have sent them but they haven’t posted publicly. At this point, Copley’s like, yeah this is about to blow up, we gotta put our cards on the table. He convinces them to come with him to some safe house/black site/whatever he can get that is technologically impenetrable (I’m picturing them in like, an interrogation room at a police station kind of deal), takes their phones, locks the doors, and brings in Nile.

What follows is the most delightful reunion scene of all time, bringing Joe, Nicky, and even Andy to tears as they watch and listen from outside the room. With Copley’s help, Nile tells her mom and brother about her immortality and what’s been going on since she died (within reason, of course), and they are thrilled. They don’t understand why (because no one does) but they don’t question it and they see it as a gift from God – she’s been resurrected, she will live, and she has a purpose. Her mother and brother are so happy to see her again and are willing to agree with pretty much anything to stay in her life as long as they can.

So. They set up some complicated agreement (they bring in the other three for support/intimidation as needed) setting the terms of their relationship. They swear Nile’s family to secrecy, maybe bringing up the lab to show how high the stakes are, and they readily agree. They come up with some cover story for Nile’s brother to share on the message boards (maybe that the government has opened an investigation but because it’s an open case he has to shut it all down? Tells people to direct their tips somewhere else? Something to that effect). There’s still speculation, of course, but without Nile’s brother at the helm providing the energy, the hype dies down as news stories are wont to do without any movement. And Nile’s family goes to work for the team. The experience has taught them that Copley can’t possibly do everything himself, especially when it comes to social media, so Nile’s brother takes the lead on the day-to-day tracking/social media while Copley and her mom focus on finding jobs and scrubbing their traces afterward.

So there you have it: Nile gets to integrate her biological family into her found family and spend the rest of their lives with them as it should be, Copley gets some badly needed help managing the reality of social media, the team finally has a positive narrative surrounding outsiders Knowing About Them AND about interacting with people from their previous life, and the audience gets the happy ending to this very lovely and very queer story to counteract the pain associated with Booker’s family.

Plus, you know, I’m a sucker for both a good government conspiracy theory and for Nile getting every good thing she deserves.

#the old guard #tog #tog fanfiction #tog meta #immortal family #nile freeman #mine #damn look at me contributing to a fandom! that’s new #pls reblog if you like this my self esteem could really use it #I just love nile so much and I’m being the nile-centric content I want to see in the world #it is just genuinely nuts to think abt how this situation would be perceived by anyone outside the narrative #she just mysteriously heals from a fatal injury and then VANISHES!!! this should be national fuckin news #also I do think there’s a major hole in the story when you think abt social media #like the only time it’s even hinted at is right at the very beginning when Andy erases that girl’s selfie #and the concept of fuckin Reddit is not even brought up despite Copley’s stalker board being analog Reddit #there’s just a lot of places one could go with this which is very much what we got here #1k

[venator-signum]

I've fallen back into the EAH rabbit hole so I have some thoughts (mainly hcs) I will be sharing unprovoked and unasked for:

no wonderlandian is straight let's be clear here

also none of them are neurotypical thanks

anyways chase redford my beloved I would die for you

he deserved to come back cause he's an angel but also the tired mum friend who is trying to keep his idiot children maddie and kitty from blowing something up for the 20th time today

all wonderlandians will drop what they're doing for tea time no matter how important

they survive off of tea and will go into lengthy rants on the proper way to brew, the best kind of tea cup, the best food to have with what tea and of course, the best tea flavour (especially Maddie)

Maddie is very steampunk with her clothing but adores jackets with coattails and she loves her wacky top hats

the three most likely to kick your ass with a smile on their face are lizzie, maddie and chase

bunny is too sweet but she's got a mean roundhouse kick and she's super fast

bunny is also albino idk if it's hc or canon but that means she now has red eyes and super pale skin

she hates being late and can get quite frazzled when it happens so don't steal her watch unless you want to die

Alistair will follow small creatures (particularly rabbits) or insects (ie. blue butterflies) and he does need to be snapped out of the trance he goes into when it happens

also he cries a lot (cause that's practically all alice does for like half the animated movie) and if something is labelled 'eat me' or 'drink me' he will do it it's an instinct

avid waistcoat wearer, he dresses like he's from whenever it was set so like 19th century or whatever but also dresses lowkey like a pirate there's no inbetween - it's either british nobleman straight out of a period drama or a pirate

kitty can turn into a cat just like her mother and will chase Earl Grey and bunny (rabbit form) around

any hooded items of clothing she owns have got holes cut out for her ears cause both she and her mother have proper cat ears now and like a tail

every wonderlandian would kill for Raven cause she saved them and she's always been kind to them, even when they were ostracised or told they were "too weird"

chase is best friends with darling and yeah he's probably hella gay

that being said when I first saw wtw and the reveal I shipped him and darling and lowkey still do but it's MY BRAIN so unless you wanna take it-

anyways every charming sibling is at the very least bi

daring is in denial abt this and so continuously dates girls cause he won't admit he thinks that a guy who could beat him up is hot

dexter has a preference for girls and so does darling good for them ig it's a twin thing

the darling/apple ship is kinda eh to me idk why I just don't vibe with it but that's okay

DEXVEN ON THE OTHER HAND

these two are completely and utterly head over heels in love with each other and I go crazy at aus where dexter is raven's "good king" (without the wack ass snow white parent thing whatever we ignoring that)

dexter deserves much love because he is wonderful

okay very early on, apple was incredibly selfish cause she wanted her happy ending at the expense of others' and it felt like she didn't really care so...

I also feel like apple, if she was so self-conscious abt her hair, could have died it to fit the story (it wouldn't be hard considering her hair colour) but she didn't give in so good for her ig

briar and ashlynn my angels - I love these two cause they're were like the first instance of what everyone in their world to be hardcore royals like apple but are actually quite rebellious and I love it

raven adores her dad very much

also I think that if she doesn't have slight anger issues (which I can see) then girly just has a short fuse which is entirely fair

(lizzie has major anger issues)

her magic mostly manifests as fire and when she goes apeshit, her eyes turn into flames

there's like stages to her magical anger ig and it goes: 1. irises glow bright and things start to float (including her hair) 2. she begins floating and her eyes go purplish tinge like in that present room scene 3. flames from hands 4. finally she's encased in flame that follows as she moves (I'll try draw this one day)

okay evil!raven is my shit and I'm in the process of writing a fic that started as evil raven but the way I'm writing her makes her more of an anti-hero basically she's like pre-auradon mal

anyways bad!raven, after signing cause she gave in and didn't see Giles yadda yadda (further explained in the fic when I eventually write enough of it) becomes very very petty

anyways evil!raven aus. where are they. send me links pls.

I'm gonna push the raven and hunter childhood friends agenda

hunter and cerise are also childhood friends but she was super apprehensive towards him at first cause her dad is the big badwolf and he's the hunter but they chill now (she still hasn't told him abt her family situation tho)

cerise is a bad bitch you can't kill her she'll mess you up

I would fight milton grimm and win he has weak person energy

my hc of lancelot/story of king arthur in eah universe is that the original tale was actually bbc Merlin but then somewhere along the line they scrapped that and got rid of any evidence it existed

(more to come if I ever think of anymore)

#rosi shitposts #ever after high #eah #wonderlandians #maddie hatter #lizzie hearts #kitty cheshire #chase redford #(my beloved) #bunny blanc #alistair liddel #raven queen #dexter charming #darling charming #daring charming #hunter huntsman #apple white #cerise hood #briar rose #ashlynn ella #rosi's hcs that got out of hand #I have many opinions #dexven #darlase

[pogueswrld]

Hello! Could I make a request abt roommate! Stiles and gn platonic best friend reader (this can be like a sequel lol) who has a hard time falling asleep (either overthinking or stress abt upcoming tests) and Stiles wants to help out? Any format! Thank you!

I was gonna go with headcanons but figured an imagine would be better :)

*•.¸♡ college stories ♡¸.•*

pairing: stiles stilinski x gn!best friend!roommate!reader

warnings: mentions of stress and anxiety, possibly panic and anxiety attacks, mentions pf insomnia, some tears.

It's finals season, which is also known as y/n's least favorite thing about college. You'd think it gets easier over time but no, not really. If anything, it stresses them out even more.

Y/n considers their major considerably easier than most majors, but it still takes it's tool on them. They'd spend hours -if not days-on end studying for a certain course that they'd occasionally forget to take care of themselves. They'd forget to eat or drink water to keep themselves hydrated enough to be able to concentrate on their studies amd they'd end up with the worst headache of their lifetime.

Thankfully, they have a very caring roommate with the attention span of a dog.

Stiles, as much as he despises it, enjoys caring for y/n; it means spending more time with them and he gets to take a break from being an intern himself.

The first few days before y/n first final, he finds them holed up in their shared dorm with them taking over the desk top they shared. They're hunched over with a glowing computer screen on a video of what he assumes to be a recorded lecture and they're scriplling down notes like their life depends on it. He chooses not to bother them, instead he'd discreetly leave a cup of water or juice -sometimes their favorite energy drink- on the desk for them to enjoy, and some other times he'd leave a plate of any snack he happens to be munching on while they study.

When they get halfway through their finals is when they start to spiral, Stiles noticed. They get more frantic and he's almost always certain they don't sleep at all. This is where he decides to interfere.

He goes to sleep with them studying on the desk and wakes up to them doing it still, he purses his lips and decides to make the both of them breakfast before trying to pull them away from the torture they're putting themselves into. When he's done making the instant ramen noodles, he does his best to pull them away from the computer, saying things along the lines of "you've been here all night, when was the last time you ate anything?", "you look like a rat's child.", and "if you don't sit down and eat with me I'll burn all your notes."

It was a joke of course, he'd very much prefer his head exactly where it is.

Y/n hadn't realize just how dependant they've grown to Stiles reminding them to take care of themselves, not until he wasn't around and they've reached their peak on what their body and brain can handle and what it cannot.

First time it happens, Stiles wasn't around. Y/n had started thinking about how long it will take them to finish studying for all of their courses before each's final and the time line of it all overwhelmed them so much that they're breathing started to get heavier as their lungs felt like they were being squeezed to death, their mind fogged as their eyes watered and y/n choked on a gasping sob to remain quiet.

Their hands shook, their chest tightened and y/n was sure they were going to pass out, they gasp for air as they do their best to get down from the chait they've been sitting on and unsteadily fix their breathing; they were unsuccessful.

With tears running down their face, y/n realizes they're no longer alone as calloused, steady hands shake their shoulders to gain their attention. With a gasp, they realize that it's Stiles.

He decided to pay y/n a visit in between his courses and he was so glad he did, because the state he found them caused him to go into panic mode. They were curled into themselves beside the desk as they heaved and gasped for air, trying to mimic a steady rhythm of breathing so they'd calm down. He quickly got to his knees and held onto thier shoulders, calling out for their name but the haze in their eyes told him they're not really listening, so he shook their shoulders to gain their attention.

"Hey, hey. You're gonna be alright, alright? Just breathe with me, come on y/n, breathe with me."

He guides them with a steady tone to follow his instruction and with a trembling body they did, their tears never quitting their flow as thy cakm down and their hands immediately cover their face when they're feeling better.

Stiles frowns an pushes himself to sit next to them, his arm wraps around their shoulders and tugs them closer into his side for comfort, he mumbles comforting words into thier hair as their tears stop and they pull themselves into a calmer version of themselves.

"I'm sorry about your shirt," y/n sniffles, pointing at the tear marks on his navy blue top. Stiles doesn't even glance at it, "it's fine. Are you okay?" y/n hesitates, but nod nonetheless.

Stiles purses his lips, "You should really take a break y/n, you're driving yourself insane like this."

Tears immediately fog their vision amd y/n releases a deep breath, "I have to finish studying Sti," they whine, their head pounding at the idea of spending another hour in front of the computer. "but you have to take care of yourself! that should always come first." Stiles exclaims, worry and desperation glistening his eyes.

"What do you suggest I do? Huh? Because if I fail any of these finals, it is over for me." y/n didn't mean to sound so harsh, but Stiles' nagging request to take a break really pushed them over the edge. He shrugs, "these finals won't fucking matter if you kill yourself studying for them. You start studying and you forget everything else. You don't eat, you don't drink. Hell, when was the last you even left this dorm?" He wasn't looking for answers to his questions, because he already knew them. So he just sits there and waits for y/n's mind to catch up and realize just how bad they've been treating themself.

"you need a break, physically and mentally. You're driving yourself insane." he was much softer this time, his hands holding onto their own. "you also need a shower," he whispers and y/n barks a laugh that he returns in a chuckle, "but seriously though, why don't you and I got out for lunch today? Give you a break and give me a chance to escape my one o'clock lecture, yeah?"

Wiping away their tears, y/n nodded. Maybe they are in desperate need to leave this room and lunch with Stiles seems like the perfect way to go about it.

#tell me why I wrote this in less than an hour #brain wtf #anyways #stiles x you #stiles/oc #stiles x y/n #stiles stilinksi x reader #stiles stilinski #stiles stilinski smut #stiles fanfiction #stiles stilinksi imagine #teen wolf stiles #gender neutral character #gender neutral pronouns #gender neutral y/n

[helioshellion]

Woah just went thru the gilded eden tag, so so interesting and intriguing!!! Do you have like a description for it or like what its about? Unless that's a secret for now which i totally get and am so excited to see more of :D even though I don't know much about ur au there's something really, really compelling about it in a way that sometimes i find the actual series misses (not trying to put the games down or anything!)

HEEHEE *EVIL SMILE* i can give a synopsis!

Gilded Eden is a semi-canon compliant semi-canon divergent story detailing Majima after the hole, but before Yakuza 0, though the story mainly focuses on Sagawa.

The Story Takes Massive inspiration from Disco Elysium and Breaking Bad, with a large focus on exploring how Sagawa and Majima see each other. Sagawa acts as a "surrogate father-uncle" after Shimano, Majima's adoptive dad, yknow. And Majima, who has just been through hell and back, has to recover, which is why you see pics of him in a cast or a cane.

There's a lot of slight story changes, such as making Mirei and Katsuya exist in the story for a period of time. It puts a large focus on the idea of Family. But like. Yknow. Painful family. Think Walter White and Jesse Pinkman if you've ever seen Breaking Bad. (I also took BRBA as design philosophy for the clothes that Majima and Sagawa both wear, earthy-tones and low-key jackets n shit.)

Shimano is also an active player in the story, and using some context clues from 0, GE explores that Sagawa and Shimano really don't like each other, and only speak to each other if they can get something out of each other. The story puts a lot of emphasis on exploring Sagawa's brain, since I find him a super interesting character. There's also a lot of OCs in the story that I may show at a later time.

Sagawa, in my own lore for Gilded Eden, was a nurse when he was younger, a very intelligent one, but he was like..Those nurses. Who only care about the Sick and Injured relying on him, not actually helping them. He cares abt the feeling of Controlling people, being the sole-savior of them, which is why hes the one in charge of Majima's recovery, and the more Majima RECOVERS, the more antagonistic, but also Friendly, Sagawa becomes.

As the story progresses, Majima becomes more and more the focal point, ending in him being the true Main Character. Also, it explores Sagawa living in "Two separate worlds," Existing in the day as seemingly, a kindly old man, and in the night, a cutthroat businessman playboy. These masks he wears becomes a super important element in the plot.

The story ALSOOO explores the idea of Sagawa and Majima being parallels of each other, they SEE each other in the other. Y'know, Self-Recognition through the Other. It sort of explores the idea that Majima didn't take the majority of the Mad Dog act from Nishitani, it mostly came from Sagawa. Nishitani was just the dressing.

Which- Nishitani! Him and Billiken are both main characters, with Nishitani first starting out as a friendly force in Sagawa's life, a sort of respectful rivalry, that slowly transforms into a bitter distrust and hatred on Nishitani's part. Billiken acts as a neutral party, sometimes helping out Sagawa, but remaining ultimately loyal to Nishitani, his son. Billiken acts as a reflection of Sagawa and Majima, a sort of, "Hey, we're both guys with sort-of sons, huh? What are you gonna do with that power?"

THE STORY is divided into "Seasons" like a show, with each season having a time skip, which reflects in the changing designs. One of the seasons include Men who were once apart of the Sasai Family, hunting Majima down as they blame him for the destruction of their family. Another has your usual Omi Alliance Yakuza conspiracy plot that Sagawa has to solve.

BUT YEAH, gilded eden is a story ive been working on for a long long time. Idk if I'll ever have the. Mental Power to make it a full fanfiction or a comic, but we'll see! It's supposed to be a super. Grim, but realistic grounded story, something super different from usual yakuza. Which, again, I took a lot of inspiration from disco elysium and breaking bad.

#gilded eden

[kidpunkjunk]

hi!! lets talk abt boone/arcade fanfic and the issue of depicting gay men as perverted/predatory :)

lets start out by touching on the stereotype of gay men being predatory/inherent perverts

theres an awful trend within media where queer characters; gay men, lesbians, and bisexual, and trans people alike, are depicted as, you guessed it, perverted and predatory. especially towards straight characters. lusting after them, flirting with them despite the other character is showing clear discomfort, even going as far as sexually harrassing, both verbally and physically, them. it stems from the perceived notion that queer people are inhentally oversexual beings. that being oversexual goes hand in hand with lgbt+ identities. its often the reason why some cishet people, upon learning a colleage of theirs is queer, immeditely thinks that that colleague is now dead set on having sex/starting a relationship with them.

you may be asking "okay so what does this have to do with boone/arcade fanfic" the answer is, surprisingly: a lot!!!

ive read just about every single boone/arcade fanfic on ao3, which granted isnt many. something ive noticed is that people LOVE depicting arcade as a horny, perverted, has-no-boundries teen and boone as a straight laced straight boy who uses arcade as, pardon my crass language, a hole to use for stress relief. and dont get me wrong, pure smut fics arent inherently bad, but you have to be very mindful considering that one of the characters is canonically gay. fuck bro, you have to be mindful period when it comes to queer ships. unintentional usage of harmful stereotypes is rampant in fandom. i always get very wary of non gay men authors write about gay male relationships, and especially about gay sex. i hate to gatekeep a whole ass sexuality but some of you just dont get it. not to mention, the trend of boone being a "its just one man"/arcadesexual (honestly same tho) kinda guy. as if the idea of him being queer is unfathomable. i promise you that straight boys dont fuck their gay friends nearly as much as you think.

on a more personal note, thinking of my own experience as a gay man who's been through. A Lot. when it comes to sexual relationships. i have to say that the diluted, watered down plot of "gay man turns straight guy" is uhmmm gross!! the idea of arcade making so many sexual comments to boone and coming on to him in such a casual way is really upsetting and follows the line of inherently over sexual gay men. the idea that gay men dont care if the men they are attracted to are straight or not, theyll harass them till the goddamn cows come home. the trend of gay men pushing and pushing and pushing till their an inch away from being punched. that they dont care about peoples boundries. the tone deafness of it all is palpable. not to mention a huge mischaracterized of arcades character, as well as boones to a certain degree.

actually, lets talk more abt that :) people also love to warp arcades personality and characterization to fit the plot of the story theyre writing. its as if they forget that he's a whole ass 35 year old man. a full grown adult man with three decades worth of life experience as a gay man. as if he doesnt have a very clear personality type and how it affects his sexuality. its insane!! despite having the highest charisma out of all the companions, i promise you that hes not as suave and smooth talking as you all make him out to be. hes just old and has experience. thats off topic tho hold on gimme a hot min.

hes also a full on wasteland genius. he most likely knows the nuance and egg shell walking that comes with being a queer man, around a straight boy, especially in a place so fucked and shit as post apocalyptic america. major knight, who's most likely not a ten intelligence, is full aware and wary of how the west view queer people. so the idea of arcade flirting with a perceived cishet man (from the ncr no less !!!) is the wildest notion ive seen in the fandom. almost middle aged old ass man arcade knows better than to do that and people discard that for the situation of "gay man flirts with 'straight' guy and makes him haha uncomfortable with no concern for the result of his unwarranted actions" the idea that he would disregard someones comfort to that level makes me wonder if yall ever leave ur bedrooms and interact with real people. not to mention the idea of boone just. accepting these come ons. that he just puts up with it and lets it happen, regardless of how he feels. which is even worse when you realize thats exactly how he would respond. he would just let himself be uncomfortable. or, worse, giving in not bc he reciprocates but again bc hes just horny. giant mischaracterization and also straight boys don't do that.

but anyway, its late, and i feel this is more of a directionless ramble than a well thought out critism piece. but i wanted to get out my thoughts and maybe help people realize this kinda uncommon, but still harmful, thing within the fanfic community.

#arcade gannon fnv #arcade gannon #craig boone #craig boone fnv #fnv #fallout new vegas #stupid gay man gatekeeps his sexuality because yall dont know how to act. #long post #very long post

[beann-e]

hi I was on u-tube and saw a bakugou playlist for when he can’t sleep and I thought well , since I just hit 200 followers ( tysm;3 I love everyone who even took the time out of their day to press follow ) why not bring them this idea of y/n not being able to sleep & bakubabe lending his beautifully different services

also abt the sero line I have in here— I personally think it’d be cool if he just learned Spanish because, he has an interest in other cultures and languages but I don’t really see him being actually hispanic

also I really like writing baku bc he’s so rough with everything he says & I kin him so he’s the easiest so, I hope no one thinks I write him too much

Reader with bad mental health & bakugou lends a hand in his own way

No one cares and no one ever asks. Or at least that’s how you felt while standing here in your last period class your hands balled up in fist tightly held at your chest

Your head was pounding and body was aching you couldn’t describe why you were feeling so horrible all of a sudden but

you just were

maybe it was from all the nights you couldn’t fall aleep due to overthinking

maybe it was the way you got stuck on your phone or even your head dropped low eyes trailing over words in a book just trying to find something to take your mind off the fact that you were struggling

whatever the case was

right now in this last period class this wasn’t helping

“ look shitty woman “ you heard the boy huff “ I want to get a good score on this paired project and right now your fucking this up for me “

his anger was visibly present even if his voice was low to where only you could hear the annoyance that sat in it had everyone looking around for the culprit of the sudden change in the air

“ and I don’t like fuckups so get whatever you have going on together and let’s do this —ok? “

you shook your head and let out a soft ‘ok ‘

the fight ending quickly with bakugou staring down on you his hands on his knees face made up in anger “ you keep finding a way to fuck with me “

“ I didn’t even do anything to you “ your voice was soft and tired

his eyes squinting before sighing

“ I didn’t do anything to anyone “

“ cut this shit out right now “ he pulled you up off the ground hands in fists gripping at your shirt standing you up with his muscles alone “ get to your room — sleep off whatever the fucks going on with you “

His eyes dead set on you as you walked off everyone from the class watching as you failed to gain the strength to open the big doors that led you to your shared dorms

“ sero plea— “

“ got it hermosa “

“ really dude “

“ look it’s hot — and just cause we’re in japan doesn’t mean I can’t show off my online spanish lessons “

“ whatever “ denkis voice whined as he shook his head holding the other door open for you “ gonna get some sleep y/n ? “

you ignored the two boys head hung low as you walked to your room door

the strength appearing in your body as you opened it but, quickly dispersing when you found your bed.

Your face hitting your favorite pillow hand coming up to cradle underneath it as you sat on your knees butt high in the air tears coming out pouring into your blankets “ I won’t show — I won’t show it — I won’t get bad again “ you repeated like a chant

The light from outside disappearing as the day grew into night

several footsteps heard departing from your door when you didn’t answer the knocks . Their low calls of dinner was done , lunch was in the microwave , that you’d missed movie time , that you missed denkis attempt of asking jirou out , and todorokis miss understood question of what ‘ cuddles ‘ were when denki offered her his body to do so

“ and you assholes didn’t just think to open the door? ”

your bedroom door swinging open in a crash as the knob hit the wall behind it creating a hole

“ fucking assholes bothering me with this shit “

“ we didn’t even call you out of your room “

“ you came over to her room on your ow— “

bakugous hand moved swiftly to slam the door in their faces

“ bakubro we’ve been trying to get in there all day and your just—“

“ gonna close the door on us “ denki finished in annoyance “ seriously I just know y/n needs my charm right now “

he pouted behind the door “ it always cheers her up and I like her lau— “

“ didn’t ask to hear your fucking crush story charger base “

“ ass — kiri let’s go “

“ so no sleepy boob pics?“

bakugou stiffened hearing the purples freaks voice

“ so I came with you guys because you said she was sad and usually when girls are sad they don’t dres— “

bakugous voice was guttural as he put his forehead to the door voice loud enough for the boy to hear

“ hey — hey purple nurple “

“ I-uh — yes bakugou “

“ come here “ he could hear the small shuffle of feet to the door as he smirked softly

“ put your tiny head to the door — actually press your whole body up to the door —all the way “

“ are you trying to help me get one of y/n’s bras god —- of all people to help I never thought it’d be bakugo—“

“ hey just shh ok — you don’t want to ruin it right and make her wake up right “ he groaned inside his mind

“ she’s slept this long and through all of this— I can’t get you her bra if your loud right purple zit “

“ so so smart “

“ ok so here it is “

the room grew silent as bakugou pressed his palm as low as he could placing it on the door away from his standing body breathing in to suppress his anger so , he didn’t let out a major blast due to his mood

sighing before he felt his hand grow sweaty tiny pops coming out

“ hey bakugou —is my princess ok ? sounds like popcorn in there are her tit—“

it was quick as the door had a hole in it the newly created circle having black burn scratches on it as mineta laid burnt on the floor once purple body now black and smoke wafting off it

Bakugou squatting as he put his left hand above the hole to steady himself and his right one reaching out through it as he grimaced in pain at the stretch his fingers finally wrapping around minetas short body fingers interlocking around his neck as he looked through the new hole in the door eyes piercing into the boy he held

his voice low and dominating “ you ever come back to her room on some creep shit — and I blow your fucking brains out do you hear me “

“ y-yes sir “ mineta let out dazed “ I will stick to yao-“

“ that goes for all the girls you hear me — guys included I know your a little pervy fuck you can’t get your hands on girls underwear you’ll move on to dekus shitty tidy whities”

mineta was silent as bakugou threw him back on the floor watching as he crawled off

his body relaxing as he shook his mind burning.

head in his hands before wiping his face in exhaustion and standing up and turning to you when he felt the air in the room shift , his hands out in jazz hands and a fake smile on his face.

“ ta da “ he was met with your sitting body your pillow covering him from seeing you .

your face dropping in shock moving from his tall figure that stood inching over to the now huge hole that he was trying to hide from you

“ k-katsuki “

“ I told you about that “

“ s-sorry “

“ again I told you about that shit “ his gaze was hard on you

“ do it again and i’ll tell shitty hair to harden in the next hug he gives you — since you and that crappy puppy boy are always touching “ he mumbled

“ bakugou why are you — why does my door have a hole in it “

“ don’t worry about it “

“ h- w-how can I not worry about it my doors black“ you screamed in confusion “ it used to be brown bakugou “

“ bakugou it used to be this — bakugou — katsuki oh my gosh i’m sorry — god do you ever shut the fuck up and just be thankful “ he mocked you soon converting back to his anger ridden voice

“ and whats with this pillow take it away from you — I wanna see your fucked up face “

you sighed bringing the pillow from in front of your head his eyes having a look run through them that you couldn’t figure out but you knew it had something to do with how puffy your eyes felt . Even if they weren’t puffy or couldn’t get puffy you’d never known for a fact because it still felt like they were .

You two stared at each other as the silence grew louder him shoving his hands in his pocket before taking out the packet of pills he’d gotten for you shaking them to show you it wasn’t a weapon like Mr.Aizawa thought after finding him returning to school late and shaking him down like a police officer

his hand putting them on your desk

His other one throwing the water he found in the kitchen to your bed “ not throwing you the pills — need you to move around so you gotta come get em‘ “

your face showed no emotion as he nodded understanding the new tense and uncomfortable emotions thats were present “ ... ok — well got a green headed vegetable to go bully so “

you watched as his hands gripped the door swinging it open as you dropped your head eyes moving to the water in front of you “ why can’t I do anything right “

you cried “ why can’t the world — the days — the stars fucking align for me to feel good for once huh “

you felt even more tears prickle your eyes as your voice grew louder “ why can’t I talk to people without having this voice in the back of my mind screaming — raging like its having a party — why can’t I sit in silence without having to stand up every five seconds and move around because my body screams for attention — for movement because i’ve been sitting still for 5 seconds “

you heard the faint click of the door mouth still moving as if he were still there

“ why can’t I speak what I feel when people ask me“ you laughed shortly “ not like they do — because they can’t tell I just mask so well “

you let your face start to feel heavy and tense as you continued your crying rant into the empty room “ and most importantly why was I so bad at everything “ your eyebrows furrowed

“ why am I so bad at today ? “

“ just a day really ? “ you heard the taller males voice came out questioning

“ just today that’s what your worried about “

“ well I “

“ tch “ he shook his head before turning to face away from you his face dropping into a look he didn’t want you to see.

“ I-i’m sor— “ you knew he didn’t like you saying sorry or even using his first name you two had established that when he finally accepted your friendship or in his words

‘ you can hang around —like shitty hair but one sniff of blabber mouth and your gone ‘

“ I didn’t mean to spill to you I just — I — you can go —no one gives a shit anyways “

“ I will “

your body grew sad at his quick response

“ tell me what your most upset about “

your answer came quick as you let your brain take over “ I wake up in the middle of the night and can never fall back asleep when I do “

he moved to your door for a second time opening it to leave before pausing for a second speaking something to where you couldn’t hear much less make out

“ just knock “

he shook his head before closing the door softly to rival his usual mood.

Your body shaking when you finally realized you’d spilled out your mental thoughts to bakugou letting your body calm down before you grabbed the pills and silently thanked your friend before feeling yourself at some time finally fall asleep

It’s been days since you last felt that horrible it never stopped but you were able to hide it even more and live out your life the happiest you could

until one night you found you beating yourself up surprisingly not in real life but in your dreams

a loud gasp leaving your mouth as you sat up calming down only to bring your knees to your chest arms wrapped around them in a hug

your back moving to the wall to feel comforted after only feeling your cold hands and body wrapped around yourself

“ what I would give to have something warm “

‘warm ‘

your mind raced to bakugou trying to push the thoughts out your mind of him actually being a caring boyfriend who could help you like he did nights ago with bringing you medicine, a boyfriend who would let you snuggle into him and take all his warmt—

stop the track cause that song will never play you thought as you started to think about him again face made up in determination and focus as you tried to remember what he said that night feeling stupid when you finally remembered your quirk

the quirk that brought you pain and contributed to your mental health

your quirk allowed you to take pictures of everyone’s last moments you’d spent together with your thoughts

it was good in some aspects like right now when you could finally remember where sato helped you hide your candy bars from yourself so you wouldn’t indulge in them 2weeks ago

at the same time you can see your problem with it when the last moment you had of your mother was her kissing you goodbye before shapeshifting into a fire extinguisher and landing in your fathers hands as he screamed at you to run out of your home and get more help the last image you seeing of your father was him spraying the fire extinguisher all over the stove in hopes to calm it down before it spread but he couldn’t

it didn’t help when the pictures replayed in your mind like video home movies that you didn’t want to watch

whenever your quirk was used everything spun in your head like a movie reel the downside was it made you watch every single picture you’d taken until you found the one you were looking for

it didn’t take long before you finished your mom and dads memory and got to bakugous last moment you two spent together

you zooming in reading his lips turning up the volume on the moment as he spoke “just knock “

“ just knock ? “ you sat confused in your spot on the bed shaking off your quirk taking as long as needed to process his words only to be even more confused and just knocking on the wall twice between your two shared dorm rooms.

You never paid much attention to him being your neighbor it’s not like you needed him for anything so right now you were a bit curious in why he reminded you that you two shared walls

Eyes closing while you waited for whatever was supposed to happen

“ guess he didn’t mean it like th—“

your body softened when you heard music fill his room and overflow into yours

You heard the drums kick in as the lyrics played muffled through your wall

‘I listened to the cure

I listened to the cure

I listened to the cure

and then I cried ‘

your eyes widened before you felt your body relax against the wall eyebrows made up in content

eyes watering when you heard your two soft knocks returned on the wall behind you

you let your body go tenseness leaving as the song played moving to grab your phone with shaky hands seeing his name light up on your screen

Godzilla wannab

‘ no one gives a shit about your life right ? ‘

you cried even harder when you saw the message fit the song perfectly the words you spoke a couple days ago as if your were singing the lyrics

you looked around your room before falling on the dent he left in your wall grabbing your phone and zooming in on it to take a picture and sending it to him

Godzilla wannab

sorry your room was just so ass you needed some redecorating be thankful people tend to cry when I redecorate—just ask deku

you laughed as you seen him prepare to send a new message your heart swelling when you read it

Godzilla wannab

look this is gonna sound sus as fuck but

you bit your lip at the new message

‘ if you can’t sleep come over — your rooms cold as fuck and I know that pillow your hugging’s not doing shit ‘

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