#also I do want to say that lwj def has trauma n I think he's also nd coded but in this instance its just treated differently than wwxs

[trans-axian-archive]

Have... have we not been discussing wwx's love? How he absolutely longs for his affections and attention and everything but like because of reasons (his whole childhood) can't fathom that he would be worth more than that. That he treasures what attention he can get from him? How his eyes always track the room find him? How even in despair he lights up at the thought of lan wangji?

it is a Tragically under-discussed subject!! the way people talk about wei wuxians love for lan wangji vs lan wangjis love for wei wuxian is actually something that really bothers me... I can never pin point the exact difference but it Is there n it makes me,, uncomfortable for some reason. everyone talks so much about how lan wangji looks at wei wuxian and all of the things he does for him and his devotion and how profound his love for wei wuxian is and... of course thats all true! and its wonderful and moving and beautiful!! but so is wei wuxians love for lan wangji n I just.. never see it discussed that much and when it is it's usually in a very different way?

like wei wuxian loves lan wangji so much he loves him SO much it's just that I think it takes a very different shape, and wei wuxian isn't given a lot of opportunities to do these big grand gestures of love for lan wangji like lan wangji is for him yknow?

but... what about the way that wei wuxian is always just So excited about lan wangji? not only to see him and talk to him but he's just so.. enthusiastic and Thrilled about lan wangjis existence in general. what about how he was the first one to call them soulmates? how he says it repeatedly? what about the way that wei wuxian looks at lan wangji? the fact that he tells lan wangji to just pretend he didn't know wei wuxian was back because he doesn't want lan wangji to be ridiculed or put in danger? what about wei wuxian painting a rabbit on their lantern and telling lan wangji he made it specifically for him? how he knocks himself free from lan wangjis grasp on the cliff only after lan wangji is put in danger of falling with him? what about "if I am doomed to death, at least I could be killed by you; that would be worth it"?  the fact that lan wangji is one of the very first things wei wuxian thinks about after being resurrected? how he plays wangxian on a fucking Leaf while he daydreams about him? the fact that, even though he's injured himself, wei wuxian saves the medicine wen ning gave him so he can give it to lan wangji? and how he offers to carry him? how he finds a way to get the wens to stop so that lan wangji can rest and drink water? how he brings the water to him himself? how about the fact that wei wuxian plays wangxian to calm himself and others? what about how, even though he didn't end up being able to do it, wei wuxian, who is dirt fucking poor at the time, insists on paying for lan wangjis meal in yiling and Still Feels Bad About It several years, one death, and a resurrection later? what about the way wei wuxian takes care of lan wangji when he's drunk? how he guides him around and makes sure he doesn't get into too much trouble and helps him drink water and tucks him into bed and tells him that in the morning he must remember one thing - that what happened to wei wuxian was not his fault, that he should not blame himself? how he misses lan wangji when they aren't talking during the sunspot campaign? how he thinks of him when he's sad and drunk and reminiscing in the burial mounds? how about out of all of the voices wei wuxian hears calling to him when he first falls into the burial mounds, lan wangjis wei ying is the thing that gets him to look up, the thing that gives him hope? the fact that in wei wuxians sorrow and grief and helplessness over jiang chengs missing core, he immediately and ecstatically thinks of lan wangji, insists that he Must be able to help? how wei wuxian Always defends lan wangji from any unfair criticism, even snapping at jiang cheng about it? what about how when he's being held hostage by jin guangyao, wei wuxian tells lan wangji to leave and go find help? not because he thinks he'll really be able to, not because he thinks anything productive will actually come from it, but because wei wuxian wants lan wangji to be Safe, because he doesn't want lan wangji to see him die again

and what about just... the fact that after he's resurrected, wei wuxian trusts lan wangji to take care of Him and to love Him? he trusts lan wangji to protect him from dogs and to keep him safe at yi city and to take care of him in the cloud recesses after he's stabbed at koi tower and says that lan wangji is All He Needs to keep him from getting hurt at the second seige. he lets lan wangji carry him and bring him alcohol and play him music and Love him

maybe I'm looking too much into it or making connections that aren't there but... I think some of how wei wuxians love for lan wangji is talked about and treated differently than lan wangjis love for wei wuxian has something to do with the way that people view nd and traumatized people/characters and how we express love and affection. wei wuxian shows his love in very different and unique ways that, to me, are connected and influenced by his trauma and the fact that he's adhd coded. but the point is!!! wei wuxians love for lan wangji is just as striking and monumental and heartwarming n I think we should talk about it more..

#okay... perhaps I went a little bit too hog with this one but I Am Trying To Make A Point #also I do want to say that lwj def has trauma n I think he's also nd coded but in this instance its just treated differently than wwxs #wei wuxian #wangxian #lan wangji #the untamed #mdzs #ask #ghost posts #since this became a whole essay #oh #and briefly: #jin guangyao #jiang cheng