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bookishofalder · 3 years

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Catfish & Sunshine

Frankie Morales x Fem!Reader Mini Series

Summary: Frankie is secretly in love with his best friend. Thanks in part to Benny’s shitty horror movie recommendation and stray ice cream, feelings come out unexpectedly during movie night.

Warnings: Language, SMUT, little angst, lots of fluff, poor writer understanding of US military benefits/retirement. WC 8,215.

A/N: I dreamed this up after rewatching Triple Frontier about a month ago (for the plot, of course) and let it sit for a while. Became inspired to finish it off this week and share it with you all-so please let me know your thoughts!

For over a decade, Saturday nights were, for Frankie Morales, usually spent with his best friends over drinks at their favourite bar. When deployed, the bar was instead smuggled whiskey that they shared under the stars, an attempt to imagine they were anywhere other than the current hellhole. As Special Ops soldiers, Frankie and his buddies had been through the worst of the worst together, until one by one they retired or were forced to retire, and then they were back to regular appearances at the local bar, for a while the five of them, then four.

Until Frankie met you.

Had someone come up to him during one of those nights years before and told Frankie that one day he’d be bringing you along to the bar to join him and the guys, he’d have laughed in their faces. But for a while, that was exactly what occurred, until you and Frankie grew so close that you usually ended up making different plans, like going mini-golfing, or lounging at his apartment and watching movies. Not that you didn’t love the guys, all whom you’d met except for Santi as he had been off the grid for just over a year when you and Frankie had met.

It was thanks to the elder Miller brother, Will, that he had even met you at all. Working at the VA office, Will had learned of one of the few retirement perks they had for putting their asses on the line for their country-physical therapy. And you came highly recommended, a star PT who had worked magic over his friends' ailments. Knowing Frankie suffered from shoulder and neck pains, Will handed him your card and encouraged him to book an appointment.

He hadn’t called straight away. He’d popped your card onto his fridge and every day he’d pass by it, consider calling, and then talk himself out of it. Until the pain became too much to bear, his latest menial job just a little too physical for him, causing him to consider using again just to dull the ache. But he’d walked by your card moments later and instead of making a terrible decision he had promised himself he’d never make again, he called your office. Made an appointment with your friendly receptionist, who thankfully had his name already because Will had put in a good word for Frankie and asked that they try and get him in straight away, whenever he finally did call.

Two days later Frankie was standing nervously in the treatment room, looking at a wall decorated with your various degrees and certificates. He was anxious not only because he worried he’d get his hopes up that this would help the pain only to be disappointed, but also because he had no idea what to expect. Years of service as a pilot had made Frankie into a man who planned, meticulously, leaving little in the way of surprises. But he’d reasoned that calling the office back and demanding they give him a minute-by-minute account of what the appointment would be like was probably going too far.

And then you had walked in and immediately his worries morphed into concern over the fact that he required a beard trim, that he looked like he’d just rolled out of bed and popped his usual cap on, probably appearing a little gruff. And fuck, he almost couldn’t breathe when you gave him the most dazzling, genuine smile like you were greeting an old friend. You were bright, a rare energy radiating off of you as though you absorbed it straight from the fucking sun, and you were beautiful. No wonder Will had winked at Frankie when he’d handed you the business card.

You were observant, introducing yourself and seemingly sensing his overall discomfort. Instead of launching straight to business, you gestured for him to sit and spent a good twenty minutes casually chatting, pulling information you needed from him while putting him at ease entirely. He learned then that Will had already sung Frankie’s praises, given you the heads up that he was a worrier and even told a few stories that showcased his talents as a pilot.

If Frankie didn’t know any better, he’d think his friend was trying to play matchmaker.

All thoughts of Will Miller, and pretty much every other thing on the planet, vanished the moment you laid your expert hands on to Frankie. You zeroed in on the worst source of pain and slowly worked away, and he could only agree with Will that you had magic hands. He could have died happily right then, as you chatted away and brought him the most relief he’d felt in years. You would pause occasionally to check in with his pain levels and make sure he was doing alright, always asking him to look at you to answer and searching his face as he spoke to ensure he was telling the truth.

The care you gave Frankie in just one appointment was enough to start him falling. And he kept going back, multiple appointments a week that not only had him walking taller, feeling lighter on his feet and reducing his migraines to seldom, but also allowing him to get to know you better. You were the kind of sweet-natured person that cried when you saw a sad commercial, laughed freely to the lamest of jokes, and seemed to wake up on the right side of the bed every day. You were sunshine, literal, tangible sunshine, and Frankie thought you might not even realize it.

Though Frankie had convinced himself early on that a woman as beautiful and kind as you could never be interested in a grouch like him, with his crows' feet and a closet full of demons. The longer he knew you little seeds of hope would sprout whenever he made you laugh so hard you had to stop the treatment just to hold your stomach as you giggled. Or when you’d share something with him innocent enough but, upon reflection, he would think it wasn’t something a normal patient-provider relationship would find exchanged.

But there was the age difference, a decade between you both that, if nothing else worked, would successfully extinguish his hope. He had wondered if perhaps you were just a decent people person, that the friendship he felt was there was entirely one-sided.

Until one day, a few months into coming to you for treatment, Frankie sat waiting for you to come in the room only for you to appear looking entirely unlike yourself. He booked his appointments always for the end of the day, a routine that promised he would get plenty of uninterrupted time with you and the conversation could flow without a time constraint. He had been so surprised that you weren’t grinning as you stepped into the room that he stood abruptly, filling with concern.

When he asked, softly, if you were alright, you didn’t brush him off like he might have expected. You instead looked up at Frankie, your lower lip trembling as your eyes filled with tears, and sobbed unexpectedly. That sound had torn a hole right into his chest and he had pulled you straight into his arms and hugged you close before asking you to tell him what he could do to help.

You ended up explaining that you had come in that morning to the news that a regular patient of yours, an elderly man you’d known the entire time you’d been working for the VA office, had passed away in his sleep. And you’d apologized to Frankie while sniffling and wiping at the tears, telling him you’d held it in all day but couldn’t do that when your friend asked you, and he had been baffled to realize you were referring to him. As your friend.

He had cut off your apology to hug you close again, smoothing your hair gently as he whispered calming words and sentiments to you in Spanish. And though you didn’t speak the language, you had since told Frankie it had done exactly what he’d hoped and made you feel all the better.

After his treatment that day, Frankie asked if he could take you for a drink to toast your friend's life. He waited for you to close up the office, and then you’d followed him in your car to drive over to his usual bar. And you both drank to the veteran who passed, then ended up ordering dinner and remaining at the bar until late, talking even more freely outside of the office. If Frankie didn’t already have it bad for you, that night sure sealed it for him.

After that, you and Frankie began texting regularly, sometimes even calling one another to share a funny story or talk about something in the news. He had joined you for your former clients funeral, his hand rubbing comforting circles into your back before he took you out for lunch, then you’d ended up at his place to watch a cheesy movie, ordering pizza when you both realized there was a sequel that, if it was as bad as the first, you absolutely needed to watch.

And just like that, Frankie saw his life altered completely when you became his best friend.

Currently, Frankie was seated comfortably on his couch, where he frowned at the TV playing a horror movie that you had insisted was supposed to be good, because Benny had recommended it. Considering the younger Miller brother could barely sit still half the time, that was supposedly good enough for you.

You were tucked into Frankie’s side, eyes fixed on the screen until a jump scare had you jerk, then twist your face to press into his chest, because you hated the gory bits.

“Fuck! How does this not scare you even a little, Frankie?” You whined, unknowingly causing Frankie to swell with pride when he heard the note of admiration in your voice. He had started to suspect that the reason movie nights were becoming exclusively scary movies was that you were determined to find one that actually frightened him.

So far, you’d had no luck. But Frankie didn’t mind, because though you were already a touchy person in general, you were especially clingy when you queued up the next horror flick as if you trusted him to keep you safe.

Frankie didn’t reply, his chest rumbling with silent laughter that made you teasingly poke his side. He jumped, because you knew exactly where to aim, then cleared his throat. The scene ended, and he began to extract himself from your grip. “My sweet tooth is calling, cariño. I’m going to get some ice cream.”

You let him go, your head popping up, a big grin on your face, “Can I have some too, please?” And he nodded, smiling at you before walking across the open concept apartment and into his kitchen.

He stretched his back before opening the freezer where he had some bars next to an off-limits pint of Ben and Jerry’s. You had put it there months ago, telling Frankie it was for days when you got together and one of you needed to cry over a bad date. You called it ‘emergency’ ice cream. Frankie considered it to be ‘fuck you’ ice cream, because every time he opened his damn freezer he saw that pint and ended up thinking about how neither of you had been on a date with anyone since becoming friends over a year before, then falling into the same circular argument with himself-that the friendship was too important for him to feel the way he did, that he was jumping to conclusions and maybe you had gone on a few good dates that you just didn’t tell him about, and he was out of his mind if he thought you would ever feel the same way.

“Here you go, Sunshine,” He plopped back down next to you and passed you your bar, watching as you beamed at him widely, the inevitable result of his use of the nickname he’d dubbed you with a long time ago.

He desperately hoped you never realized the amount of affection truly behind that nickname.

Because how could he even begin to explain that you were literally sunshine in his dark life?

“Thank you,” You pulled the wrapper off, glancing at the movie and frowning. “Uhg. Benny promised the one was good! I’m starting to think he only recommends movies if they have at least one pair of tits.” You took the first bite of your ice cream bar while Frankie nearly choked on his own.

Amused as he was whenever you joked about your shared friends, Frankie also loved it when you swore. You were a goofy, happy little thing most of the time and curse words just seemed so out of character for you, pulling laughter from Frankie any time you caught him by surprise. You spent your days around gruff veterans and never seemed to lose any light, no matter how many real horror stories you heard. So whenever you managed to sound so uncharacteristically blunt, he couldn’t help but laugh.

“Benny has always been a tits man,” Frankie agreed, and you giggled. He tried to refocus on the movie then, but it hadn’t captured his interest in the least. After a moment, you spoke again and he had to work on not choking.

“What are you, Francisco?”

Your tone was playful, light; Frankie’s head jerked in surprise to gaze down at you and you wiggled your brows, going for laughs. You seemed completely unaware of the roaring in his ears, the visceral reaction your words brought forth within him. You and Frankie had shared intimate tidbits like that before with one another, often during nights at the bar with the Miller brothers. After a few drinks and usually, because his friends knew exactly how he felt about you and tried to steer the conversations into dangerous waters and watch Frankie try to save himself.

Only, Frankie’s friendship with you during the last few months had become...deeper. After the operation Santiago had brought Will, Benny, Tom and him in on, your relationship had evolved. Because that nightmare had reminded Frankie just how dark shit could get in the blink of an eye, and he’d had to do things he thought he was done with when he retired from service. Worse, because they were just civilians using Santi’s connections and intel to rob a drug lord.

And you had no idea what he’d gone through, how hard he’d fought just to get home to you because he couldn’t-wouldn’t-tell you. Yet you still patched him up, physically and emotionally, when he’d come home three weeks later than he’d promised. You held him as he cried and never became angry with him, never questioned him for answers as to why he’d come home with one less friend and a whole lot of mysterious trauma.

After that, Frankie realized he was hopelessly, irrevocably in love with you.

So a simple, flirtatious little question? Yeah, it really managed to fuck Frankie up.

His friends had sensed the change as well, noticed how you held Frankie up when he felt like he couldn’t stand, how you comforted them all when they got home and cried along with them over Tom, over Santi not coming home even though you’d only met him once, briefly. You held strong for him at Tom’s funeral, which prompted the Miller brothers to tell Frankie in no uncertain terms that he simply could not let you slip through his fingers. If that fucking mission had taught them anything, it was that life was too short and you might as well live it to the fullest.

But the thing was, Frankie depended on you. Your friendship was the one real, good, pure thing in his life. And you gave it so willingly and unquestionably even after what he put you through that there was no fucking way he was risking it by telling you how he felt.

Christ, you even had a spot in his bathroom for your own toiletries, a favourite pillow on his bed for the nights you stayed, a fucking hook for your coat that he installed just a little lower than the other because you were so much smaller than Frankie.

And still, he wouldn’t look at what that might mean because he was afraid, and as much as you seemed to think nothing scared him, the truth was that a gory horror movie, or losing his friend, or even fucking live combat could never come close to the fear he felt when he pictured life without you.

You were Frankie’s Sunshine, and he never wanted to be alone in the dark again.

Aware he was still gazing down at you, Frankie found himself entirely at a loss for words. You didn’t seem to mind, simply waiting for him to respond while taking small bites of your treat. His cock twitched at the combination of your words, the innocent way you gazed at him, because Frankie hadn’t touched himself in quite some time and it didn’t take much to drive him up the wall.

His life with you had become remarkably domestic, routine. You often stayed multiple nights in a row at his place, preferring his company over being alone, and the shorter distance to your office. His spacious condo had one large four-piece bathroom, which meant there had been a few times where one of you was in the shower and the other came in, desperate to use the toilet before their bladder could burst. The shower had a thickly frosted glass enclosure, which provided plenty of visual privacy from both sides, the only indication that someone was in the shower was a very faint tint. This was never an issue until it was.

Exactly sixty-two days prior (not that Frankie was necessarily keeping count of passing time since his last orgasm), you had burst into the bathroom one afternoon unexpectedly. Returning early from your jog because you needed to pee, while Frankie stood in the shower. He listened to you tell him about a cute dog you’d seen outside his building. The thing was, Frankie had expected you to be gone longer, and you were in the middle of a three-day visit that had left him needy and horny because he hadn’t had time alone and yet you walked around in his fucking clothes, slept next to him in his bed, and he needed release.

He was grateful the tinted glass prevented you from having any idea what he was doing on the other side. And he had been close already when you came in, one hand fisting over his cock while the other pressed into the tile wall, and guilt sprang up in the back of his mind because he had been thinking of you as he touched himself. And you were just feet away, unaware and fuck if that didn’t lead him to the edge.

But it was when you had sat down to pee and he heard you give a little moan of relief that Frankie lost it, giving in to the most powerful-yet silent-orgasm he had had in fucking years. Rope after rope of cum, his legs violently shaking, and he’d wondered if he would pass out it felt so good. Then you’d flushed and continued speaking, washing your hands before telling him you were going to put on a pot of coffee. And the guilt Frankie felt was so immense that he vowed right there he wasn’t going to touch himself again. He cared for and respected you too much to reduce you to his graphic thoughts without your consent.

Sixty-two days later and you were testing his limits unknowingly.

“I, uh, I’m not sure,” He replied, keeping his eyes locked on yours. You frowned a little, kitten licking the ice cream absentmindedly. Frankie almost groaned, wondering if you were trying to kill him. “I guess, it depends on the person.” He was never, ever going to admit he was a you man, that your ass, your perfect tits, your pretty little mouth were everything he could dream and more.

He tried to shrug casually, as if indifferent.

“I guess it’s a funny question,” You said after a moment, laughing a little, “I mean, no one asks a straight woman if she’s an ass or cock girl!”

Frankie took a too-large bite of his treat, the cold painful and giving him instant brain freeze but it was just the distraction he needed because seeing your plump lips wrap around the word ‘cock’ might just kill him. He coughed attempting to laugh at your joke despite the brain freeze, and you leaned closer in concern.

“Sorry, are you-ah, shit!” A piece of your ice cream bar, which you’d moved to hold higher as you were checking on Frankie, fell off and landed on your chest, instantly staining the pale pink t-shirt. You hopped up with a noise of discontent, catching the fallen glob and hurrying into the kitchen to toss it in the sink. “Damn it!”

Frankie reached out and paused the movie, standing up and intending to follow you. He took two steps, adjusting his cap as he moved, and then looked up to where you stood at the sink, running your shirt under the faucet. Freezing, he took it the sight of you standing in his kitchen, your shirt removed to run under the water, leaving you wearing yoga pants and a simple white bra. For a moment, he just shut down and stared at you dumbfounded, before internal alarms started sounding and Frankie’s eyes were sweeping over your curves, his eyes zeroing in on the lack of support your bra had, your breasts perky and full and fuck, he had to look away.

He looked up at his ceiling at cleared his throat “You uh, want me to grab you a shirt?” His voice came out much deeper than he was expecting. He hoped you didn’t notice, though with only being able to see your profile even if he did dare to look at you, he’d never be able to tell.

“Can I borrow your big sweater, please?” You asked him, and Frankie nodded as he hurried away, down the hall to grab the sweater he knew you meant from his room. He would have laughed at your suggestion it was his sweater when he barely got to wear it himself anymore, but he was trying to remember how to breathe.

Once out of sight in his bedroom, Frankie took a few steadying breaths before grabbing the sweater off the end of his bed. He was going to subject himself to a cold shower after he handed this to you because you were staying the night again and he could not climb into a bed with you this worked up.

One of the reasons that you and Frankie just worked as friends were your opposite ways of navigating life. Where Frankie was a detailed, meticulous planner, you flitted from idea to idea spontaneously until something landed right, and you seemed to enjoy pulling him along with you as you followed those random whims. And he let you pull him because he trusted you so completely. Even if he would still make a new plan in the back of his mind, it still felt like he was taking chances he never would have without you leading the way.

Planning was Frankie’s way of keeping control. Of keeping himself, his squadmates, his loved ones, safe and secure. After Columbia, where every bit of the plan had gone completely to shit, he’d needed to let you lead more often just so he could feel grounded because he didn’t trust himself any longer. And you had been happy to lead, to test his limits by pushing aside any planning he attempted and pull him from his comfort zone. You had taught him how to grapple with his instincts and his desires, giving him real-world methods to cope, including breathing as he was now.

So focused as he was on his breathing, Frankie hadn’t noticed you had joined him in his room, standing just inside the doorway. If he had heard you, he wouldn’t have spun around abruptly and take two long strides before realizing how close you were, nearly knocking you over as he did. He dropped the sweater when he reached out with both hands to grab your upper arms and steady you, and then he met your gaze.

Frankie couldn’t say whether it was the heat of his hands on you so unexpectedly, or the way you each shivered at the electricity that seemed to pulse from him to you. Maybe it was everything combined, years of friendship, longing and pining and then almost dying in the middle of the jungle only to come home and have you climb into his lap and sob in relief that he was home, and a million other moments in between.

But when Frankie met your eyes there in the doorway of his bedroom, he knew his expression was giving him away completely.

You were looking at him with wide eyes, your mouth slightly open in surprise, whatever words you were going to say long since lost. And then he saw it, was looking right at you when your expression shifted, no longer the innocent, playful woman but instead, one who was suffering just as much as he was, longing and love and this hunger on your face he’d never seen before.

Without hesitating, without thinking or planning his next move, Frankie tugged you against him and leaned down to slot his lips over yours, taken aback when he saw you close your eyes and stretch your neck up to meet him. When your soft lips connected to his, Frankie trembled and groaned, loving the feel of your body pressed against him, the way you smelled like something tropical, how even with your perfect curves you were so small compared to him. Kissing you was everything he’d dreamed and more.

He wanted to deepen the kiss, taste you, but even as he thought it his mind jumped ten steps ahead and imagined you on his bed and he had to stop himself from getting carried away. With great effort he pulled back, first breaking the kiss and then taking several steps away, panting heavily.

“Frankie?” You were out of breath, confused, and deliciously flushed. He could see your nipples tightened against the thin fabric of your bra, goosebumps along your skin. Just the knowledge that he’d had that kind of effect on you was enough to make him want to cum in his pants right there.

“Cariño, I can’t, I’m sorry,” It was physically painful now, his hard length straining against his jeans, but he was more concerned about you, and how afraid he was to lose you. “I-I’ve wanted to do that but you gotta know, I love you. I’m in love with you.” He couldn’t meet your eyes, instead choosing to look at his feet and rubbing his hands over his face.

You approached him again, just as quietly, taking him by surprise when you spoke from just inches away. “Frankie, look at me,” It was an order, a tone you rarely used but that always worked on grounding him, and he realized you understood he was struggling right now not to break down, terrified he’d fucked up the best thing in his life in a moment of weakness. He reluctantly met your gaze, swallowing thickly as he did.

“I need you to hear me right now, okay? Tell me.”

“I’m listening,” He confirmed, heart about ready to beat out of his chest, “I can hear you.”

“Good,” And you closed the gap between your body and his, pressing your hands into his shoulders. Frankie caught his breath. “I want you to do that again, and I don’t want you to stop. Please, kiss me again, Frankie, because I love you too and I’ve never wanted anything more in my whole life than I want you-“

Frankie cut you off, a growl ripping from his chest before he gathered you roughly into his arms and kissed you again, this time quickly swiping his tongue across your lips for permission to enter, and you gladly parted them for him, moaning when his tongue licked into your hot mouth. He slid one hand to the back of your head, his fingers weaving into your hair carefully before he pressed your face to his, needy to taste you more, to get drunk on you. Fuck, you were perfect.

When you whimpered against him, the sound almost lost in his mouth, Frankie moved, walking you back until you hit the wall and crowding you there. He ran his free hand across the bare skin of your side, heat coursing through his veins when you shuddered at his touch, keening for him. He hadn’t realized he was rolling his hips against you, his erection pressed into your stomach until one of your small hands somehow slipped between your bodies and ghosted over the front of his jeans curiously.

“Fuck,” He broke the kiss, this time simply to lower his head and kiss along your jaw, down your neck, “Sunshine, I fucking love you, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, sweet girl.” He licked the column of your throat as he moved to the other side of your face before biting gently. The sound that tore from you was so filthy he groaned again, dropping both hands to grasp your forearms.

“Frankie, fuck, don’t stop,” You were tugging at his shirt, and despite your request, he had to move back slightly to pull it over his head, his bare chest revealed to you and even though you’d seen him shirtless before, the intimacy of this time, of finally being with you after so long, made him self conscious. If you saw anything you didn’t like, you didn’t show it. Instead, you bit your lip as your hands tentatively roamed across his chest, trailing over his stomach lightly enough that he shivered. When you spoke next, you yet again took Frankie completely by surprise, your brows furrowing as your expression became more than just hungry, “Mine.”

You whispered it, but to Frankie, it was like you’d just announced it to the entire world. The possessive edge wasn’t lost on him, no, it shot straight to his core and snapped the final cords of his restraint.

“I should...I need a minute, Sunshine,” Frankie pressed his hands into the wall on either side of you, “I haven’t done anything in a long time, haven’t even cum, I don’t think I can be as sweet to you as I want to be.”

Your lust-blown eyes met his, “Why haven’t you cum?” He could hear trouble in your voice now, the not so careful way you spoke pulling dangerous images in his mind as he stared down at you, his jaw tense. When Frankie made no reply, you pressed your pointer finger to the middle of his chest, your eyes never leaving his as you slowly, lightly, moved it downward, trailing his dark hair. “Is it because you think of me? Are you that amazing that you won’t even let yourself cum because you think it’s wrong to think about me like that?”

A strangled noise was all he could respond with, his hands pressing desperately into the wall. You knew him too well, understood exactly what he’d meant without having to ask. And then you kept talking, and honestly, Frankie was floored at how dirty you suddenly were for him.

“I have to admit, you’re better than me, Frankie,” That finger trailed so slowly, closing in on his belly button now, “I’m not good like you, I think about you all the time. Especially when I touch myself, usually after I’ve spent a ton of time with you and I can’t fucking wait for a second longer. Wanna know what I picture?”

His voice was husky, a warning if ever there was one, “What did you picture, sweet girl?”

You moaned, your finger now closing in on the waist of his jeans, “You, bending me over the couch, that one is a favourite. Or waking you up with a blowjob, swallowing everything you’ve got because I know you taste delicious,” You unbuttoned his jeans now, sliding the zipper down with care, “But I think the winner, the one that always makes me scream your name, is thinking about riding you, Frankie. Climbing in your lap and just-“

Fuck, fuck he couldn’t hold back. He’d told you he couldn’t and yet you wouldn’t shut up and all thoughts of making love to you gently were out the fucking window, Frankie instead growled deeply and grabbed you by the arms, all but throwing you on the bed. You were smirking up at him, your eyes dark with lust and shining with triumph.

“Fuck, sweet girl, you wanna scream my name?” He removed his pants and briefs in one motion, his cock spring up, hard and leaking precum and you licked your lips, giving a little whimper at the sight of him. Frankie grasped himself, pumping his hand a few times as he stood over you, “Like what you see?”

“Jesus, Frankie-you need a new nickname,” You said, eyes glued to his cock, “Catfish makes no sense when you’re walking around with that fucking bat-wait!” He froze in the middle of removing his ball cap, looking at you with concern to see you bite your lip a little shyly, “Keep it on. The hat.”

Warmth spread through him at your request and Frankie replaced the hat on his head, then dropped to his knees next to the bed, his hands running up your thighs as you writhed. At your waist, he grasped the tops of your yoga pants and tugged them down, enjoying the way your body arched when you lifted your hips to help him. The only item of clothing either of you wore now was you in your bra, and fuck were you a sight.

Frankie gazed up at you from the floor in awe, his eyes roving over you hungrily as you watched him, propped up on your elbows. He started kissing up your thighs then, pushing your legs apart and spreading you, his hands kneading your flesh. “Sweet girl, you have such a pretty pussy, better than I imagined.” He moaned, biting into the soft flesh of your inner leg and drawing a whimper from you, “I can fucking smell you already, so wet and ready for me, fuck.”

“Oh god Frankie, please, touch me. I can’t wait anymore, I need you!”

“Told you,” Frankie climbed over top of you, his legs on either side of your body as he reached down and dragged you further onto the bed, his show of strength making you whimper, “It’s been a while. And you walk around here wearing my fucking clothes all the time. You don’t know what you do to me, Sunshine.” He grunted as he repositioned himself between your legs, his hands grasping the backs of them to haul your body against his, his cock pressed painfully against your thigh, “Gonna fuck you, sweet girl.” And with one careful, quick motion he thrust forward and each of you cried out at the pleasure of Frankie filling you.

“Frankie! Oh!” Your legs wrapped around him instantly, urging him as deep as possible as he split you open so deliciously. Once he was fully seated within you, Frankie dropped forward, propping himself on one arm, and cupped your face with his free hand. He looked into your eyes as he started a fast, hard pace, thrusting deep and reeling over how wet you were for him, how perfectly your velvet folds wrapped around him.

“Fuck, cariño, you’re fucking tight,” He grunted, kissing you sloppily as you threw your arms around him, hugging him close, “So tight for me, so perfect making those pretty noises, fuck.” Frankie groaned when you clenched around him as he spoke, “You like it when I tell you how perfect you are?”

“Ye-yeah Frankie, I love it. Oh, fuck!”

You were trembling now, squeezing him each time he whispered in your ear. Frankie kept up a string of praises and filthy words, taking note of the ones that had you gripping him extra hard.

He’d always had a casual enjoyment of dirty talk, nothing over the top, easy enough to shut off if it wasn’t enjoyed by the other person. But something about talking like this to you had his balls tightening that much faster, his thrusts becoming brutal.

Still murmuring in your ear, Frankie lowered his hand to your clit, experimentally rubbing, circling and pinching it to see what you liked. He was going to cum soon, and he’d be damned if you didn’t cum too. Though, as Frankie settled on circling you, both feeling and hearing how this was definitely how you liked it, his worries quickly dissipated when your hips were suddenly bucking up to meet his and you were screaming his name.

“That’s it, let go for me sweet girl,” Frankie’s thrusts were becoming increasingly sloppy as he neared the edge, “Are you-fuck, where should I?” He couldn’t even form a sentence now, he was so close and you were squeezing around him so perfectly as you closed in on your orgasm.

You understood though, your eyes meeting his as you pulled yourself together enough to reply, “Frankie, cum inside me please, please fill me up, pleasepleaseplease-“

“Fuck! H-here you go, perfect little thing!” He roared, dropping his weight over your and growling as he spilled inside you, as you bucked and writhed beneath him and screamed out, toppling over the edge and into oblivion with him. He heard himself cursing in Spanish as he experienced the most intense orgasm of his entire life, his hips slowing to continue to draw it out, still more cum filling you and you were a wreck under him, shivering and moaning.

“Yes, Frankie, yes.” You whimpered, your hands sliding into his hair-knocking his cap off-and tugging at his curls.

It took several minutes to recover, though Frankie had enough awareness to shift his weight so that you could breathe properly. Still hard inside you, he began to kiss you all over, peppering your face and neck before biting a few more marks into your neck, his tongue laving out to soothe. He enjoyed the way you whimpered when overstimulated, twitching when he pinched your nipple over your bra, squeaking his name when he pressed himself as deep inside you as he could one last time before pulling out.

Frankie collapsed on the bed next to you, then quickly tugged you into his arms and kissed the top of your head. His fear began to bubble back up now that the haze of passion was clearing, and he was starting to question every single moment that had occurred since you'd asked him if he was a tits man or an ass man.

What had he done? Was he going to lose you after this? Lose his entire reason for living for one amazing orgasm?

But it was like you could reach his mind, as only a few minutes had passed and then, with a little groan, you pulled yourself up so that you were on your elbow, looking down at Frankie. You took one look at his face and frowned, “That was quicker than I thought.”

Frankie stared at you, “What was?”

“I guessed it would take more than two minutes for you to start regretting this.”

Sighing, he pulled himself up, sitting on the edge of the bed. You followed, but crossed your legs and shuffled next to him. “I meant what I said, I love you,” Frankie explained, rubbing a hand over his face, “I love you so much, so fucking much it hurts. But the idea of messing this up is terrifying me, Sunshine. I don’t think I could lose you, I think it would kill me.”

“Frankie,” You crawled over him, straddling his hips and settling into his lap. You cupped his face firmly, looking into his eyes. Your expression was open, warm and vulnerable and a little incredulous, “You aren’t going to lose me, not ever. I want this-I want you, and everything you come with, okay?”

Though his heart was soaring, Frankie still worried, shaking his head, “I come with a lot of dark baggage, sweet girl. Not to mention the age difference.”

“Jesus, Frankie, do you really think I don’t know what I’m saying when I tell you I’m all in?” You asked him, not waiting for an answer before continuing. “I love you. Can I tell you when I knew?”

Frankie peered at you, his hands coming to hold your waist as he nodded.

“The boys trip.” You stated, using the term each of you agreed upon when referencing his three-week disappearance to Columbia. “When you first left, I knew something was off but I trust you, so I didn’t question it. But then after a few days, with no word from you, I started to really worry,” You paused, momentarily lost in thought, eyes dark now with the painful memory of his absence and the little information you’d come to learn about it since. “Did I ever tell you I booked a ticket to Columbia?”

This caught Frankie off guard because you most certainly had not told him that, “What, are you serious?”

“Yep. Booked it for the day after you ended up calling me. I don’t know what I was planning to do, but I knew you were there and, even if you were dead, I needed to be as well.” You stroked your thumbs over his cheeks, “After you called, and I knew you were alive and coming home, I realized that the way you said it meant you almost didn’t make it home, and I knew you weren’t saying something. I hung up and sat in my room for a minute and it occurred to me that you could have died and I would have never seen you again. That was when I knew it wasn’t just a crush.”

Heavy emotion filled his chest, rendering him unable to immediately respond. Frankie gathered you close and stood, clutching you against him and carrying you into the bathroom. He set you on the toilet before turning to his massive soaker tub and switching it on, fully intending on spending the rest of the night in there with you. When he turned around, you were carefully tidying yourself up. With a grunt, he grabbed a washcloth and ran it under warm water before kneeling in front of you and taking over.

“Why didn’t you say anything? After I came home, I mean.” His tone was light, as he didn’t mean to come across as accusing you of anything-it’s not like he had said anything to you. Good-natured as you were, you simply smiled at him, a little sadly.

“Too afraid, right at first,” You admitted, your eyes fluttering shut as he took care of you with the warm washcloth, “But when you came home you were a fucking wreck, Frankie. You lost your friend, Santi didn’t come back with you either, and Will and Benny had the same expression on their faces whenever I saw them. You saw some shit, did some shit, I don’t know and I’ll be real here, I don’t need you to ever feel like you should tell me what exactly happened. But after the first day you were back, I could see how much it changed you and I thought it would be selfish to tell you how I felt and add more emotional bullshit onto your plate.”

Frankie continued to kneel in front of you after tossing the washcloth into his laundry hamper. For a moment, the only sound in the room that of the tub filling. He stared into your eyes, seeing only how truthful you were being, how incredibly kind. He had never realized how completely he could love someone until he met you.

“I thought about you the entire time I was gone.” He admitted before carefully standing and checking the temperature of the water. He added a bath salt mixture that you’d bought a while ago, claiming it was a gift when really you were the one to use them, locking yourself away for hours to soak because you didn’t have a tub at your place. He shut the water off and held his arms out for you, which you eagerly stepped into and allowed him to guide you both into the water.

Once settled, your back against his chest, you replied. “Your face when you came home, I’ll never forget your expression.” His legs were on either side of you, and you began to lazily trace along his right thigh as both of you fell into your painful memories of his ill-fated trip.

Frankie sighed sadly, “I’m sorry I ever left, Sunshine. I never should have left you,” He tightened his grip around your waist under the water, one hand spread flat across your stomach, “It was just...fuck, everything went bad straight from the start. We had a moment of luck and then it was like nothing could go right. And I don’t know, I’m fucking gutted that Tom is gone, but it’s worse that Santiago won’t come home. He’s like my brother, and he blames himself for everything.”

Frankie knew you had no idea what he meant. You knew he and the guys were former special ops that served together, but when Santi had asked him to go to Columbia Frankie had only told you the basics-the country, who he would be with, that he might not have a lot of chances to call, and that it would be about a week. Santi had picked him up and you had been there to see him off that morning, and his friend had casually referenced a ‘boys trip’ while speaking with you as Frankie loaded his shit in the back.

Of course, you weren’t stupid. You worked with the VA, met a lot of former service members who ended up contracting out their skills after retiring or leaving due to injuries or lifestyle changes. And you knew Frankie, understood him like no one ever had before, which is why as he gave you further details you didn’t flinch or freeze up, you simply listened. When Frankie had gone quiet for a while, you eventually turned to gaze up at him over your shoulder, your cheek on his chest.

“From what I could tell,” You began slowly, your words cautious, “Whatever you did, what happened, you all put it aside to get Tom’s body home to his family. And considering the type of work Santi was doing out there for three years before he came here to ask you guys to join him, I figure you all must have almost died a few times each, probably took out some terrible men along the way.”

Frankie had to bite back his sob, turning his face away from you to stare, ashamed and remorseful at the wall. You reacted quickly, pulling yourself up and turning over, your naked body pressing over his as you grabbed Frankie’s head and gently turned him to look at you. “Baby,” You cooed, your eyes shining with concern, “Don’t do that, don’t hide from me.”

That was all it took. Frankie let the sob out and the relief of it was instantaneous, so much so that he let out another, then another, all while you held him and murmured soft, sweet words and pressing chaste kisses to his cheeks, his forehead, along his jaw. It didn’t last long, he’d cried so many times over everything that had gone down, but this was the first time you had revealed you sort of had an idea of what they had been up to, and you were still supporting him and loving him and it was all very overwhelming.

A short time later, Frankie wiped his eyes and shot you a grateful look, hoping you could sense how much he appreciated you. You settled into the water again, knees pulled to your chest as you faced him and trailed your hands comfortingly up and down his chest. “Sunshine,” He whispered, catching one hand and holding it against his heart, “I love you, thank you for being so fucking incredible.”

He tugged you closer, joining you in laughing when a little water sloshed up over the edge of the tub as you landed against him. You snuggled close and kissed him, your fingers carding into his curls and holding him steady. When Frankie took you to bed that night, there were no pillows between your bodies, not a shred of clothing separating you. He held you close, falling asleep faster than he had in years.

And for the first time in Frankie’s life, he felt whole and complete, like nothing could ever bring him into darkness again, not when he had you, literal sunshine, lighting his existence.

PART TWO

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moldisgoodforyou · 3 years

Text

valentine’s day

warnings: cursing as per usual. also. angsty!!! blame the anon tho not me I accept zero responsibility for anything here. it’s about the GROWTH people

wordcount: 2.2k

source: @obi-kin

Rafe called Sophie at 5pm on Valentine’s Day, his tone unusually bright. Sophie had been in the architecture studio all week and they hadn’t seen each other in a few days, so he was especially eager to take her out. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was a sucker for romance. His last long-term girlfriend hadn’t really entertained it, and made fun of him often for trying too hard. While Sophie might have occasionally ribbed him for his gestures, she made a point to show him she appreciated it, which always made him more eager to please.

“Hey! Will you be ready soon? I’ll pick you up,” Rafe greeted when she answered.

“Ready?” Sophie sounded distant, with her phone on speaker lying on the desk next to her work.

“...Yes? That’s what I said, are you ready?” He cocked his head with the phone pressed to his ear, thinking he might have had bad reception.

She furrowed her brow, trying to think if she had forgotten something. She was usually meticulous about her plans, marking everything down in her calendar no matter what. “Ready for what?”

From his voice, she could tell he was becoming more and more deflated, but couldn’t quite place why.

“Soph, you’re serious?”

She wrinkled her nose a little at the question. “Yes, I’m serious. What am I missing here?”

“Ready for dinner. Downtown.” Rafe didn’t give her anything more, hoping she’d remember, hoping she didn’t completely forget something he’d been looking forward to for the past week. He ran his hand through his hair impatiently as he waited for her response.

She bit the inside of her cheek, trying to remember. “Rafe, I can’t go to dinner tonight, I have to work on my project due Friday. I got caught up with helping some of my students earlier.”

To him, she didn’t sound the least bit apologetic, just factual. He was silent, almost in disbelief for a moment. “Right. I forgot school comes first.”

His tone was more bitter than he intended, and she almost flinched just hearing it over the phone, her own voice growing apologetic. “Well, yeah, I have to -”

“S’whatever.” He cut her off abruptly. “I have to go. Have fun with your project.”

“Rafe...” she tried, unsuccessful as he hung up. Feeling uneasy, she briefly debated calling him back to figure out what was up, but another student knocked on the studio door and she got distracted helping them try to find spare supplies. After a while, she decided to just push it off and ignore it, chalking it up to a bad day on his end.

A few hours later, when it was nearing midnight, Rafe shot her a text - a simple ‘How much longer? I’ll come drive you home.’ He had cancelled their dinner reservation and got Mexican with the boys instead, but resisted from indulging in the drink specials, knowing he still wanted to see Sophie despite her forgetting their plans.

Still a little stung from his comments (and completely unaware of what she did), she shot back her text right away - ‘I’m fine, I’ll walk.’ She was packing up her things when he texted, planning on leaving soon anyways, but wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of seeing her after his demeanor on the phone.

Always loyal, Rafe was already waiting out front in his car when she walked out a few minutes later. She scowled at his stubbornness that rivaled hers but strolled up to the car anyways and opened the door, but didn’t get in just yet. “Are you still mad at me?”

He paused for a moment, considering his response. “I’m not really happy with you right now, no. But get in. I don’t want you walking home alone.”

She sighed but climbed in, setting her backpack at her feet, and crossed her arms across her chest with a little huff. “Look, Rafe, I don’t know what I did to make you all pissed off, but -”

Rafe leaned back and pulled out a bouquet of flowers from the backseat, setting it in her lap. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Dead silence.

Her jaw dropped and she glanced at her phone for the date, just to confirm how badly she’d screwed up. “I...fuck,” she whispered, swallowing hard.

“I was hoping you wouldn’t forget. Tried giving you the benefit of the doubt, you know.” His voice softened a little but he kept his eyes trained on the road, tapping his thumb on the steering wheel.

Sophie looked like she was about to cry, shrinking back into her seat as her cheeks grew hot. “I’m so, so sorry, Rafe. I guess I thought it was next week or something. I know this was important to you.”

He exhaled at her apology, glancing over with concern when he saw her wobbling lip and teary eyes. “It’s fine, Soph, it’s nothing to cry over.”

“No, I - you’ve been so sweet, and so supportive, and I was being totally selfish,” she started rambling, reaching out for him and only stopping once he took her hand and squeezed gently. He only wanted to make her realize how he felt for a moment, not to make her truly upset.

It was like all the stress from the past week had all piled up on her at once and this was the tipping point, something she could have controlled. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment to compose herself. “I’m going to make it up to you. Saturday. I mean it.”

He turned to her at the stoplight and ran his thumb over her cheekbone, trying to calm her down. “What if I have homework?”

“Oh.” Sophie’s face fell. “Right, never mind -”

Rafe laughed a little, shaking his head quickly. “No, no, I’m sorry, that was mean. Saturday, then?”

“Yes.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Saturday, belated Valentine’s Day. I won’t be a terrible girlfriend.”

“You’re not a terrible girlfriend.” He hesitated before continuing, pulling up on the street outside her sorority house and turning off the car so he could walk her to the door like always. “Just, um.” After a few seconds, he shook his head. “Never mind.”

“No, tell me.” She reached out and took his hand again, brows knitting together in concern.

He spoke quickly, only making eye contact once he got it all out. “Sometimes I feel like second place to your schoolwork.” After a moment’s pause, he added quickly, “and it’s not a big deal, I really admire how hard you work and I know it’s important to you. But.” He shrugged. “It just felt like something I should tell you.”

“Rafe, baby...” She frowned, squeezing his hand in reassurance upon hearing his confession. “I love you so damn much, you know that?”

He nodded and leaned over to kiss her, hating the way her eyes started welling up with tears again. “I know. I love you too. We don’t have to talk about it, it doesn’t really matter.”

“It does matter.” She shook her head and threaded her fingers through his hair, pulling him closer. “I fucked up, and I’ve been getting way too caught up with school. That’s not fair to you.”

“I know you’re busy.” He mumbled, pressing his head into her touch. “S’okay. I’m being needy, or whatever.”

“You’re not.” She crawled over the center console without a second thought, albeit a little awkwardly, and threw her arms around him once she sat on his lap, holding him close. “That thought hasn’t occurred to me once. Ever.”

He let his head rest against her shoulder, nuzzling into her. “You’re sure? Because my ex -”

“Rafe.” She frowned as she cut him off. “I’m sure.” She told him confidently, rubbing small little circles against his back. “I’ve missed you, I’ve been way too busy. And I’m so sorry I fucked up Valentine’s Day for you, I know you’d been looking forward to it.”

He hummed in acknowledgment against her neck, relaxing more at her touch. “Do I get you the whole day Saturday?”

“The whole weekend, even.” She smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

He laughed and lifted his head, giving her a sweet kiss. “Two whole days with just you might be too much to handle.”

She blushed and poked his stomach, holding back a grin. “Stop it, you love me.”

“I do. My favorite.” He grinned and kissed her again, then nodded toward her sorority house. “Any chance I could come up with you?”

“Depends, do you want to watch Gone Girl with my roommates?”

Rafe furrowed his brow in concern. “Gone Girl? On Valentine’s Day?”

“Yes.” She nodded once. “We’ve all been single on the holiday for the last two years, it’s tradition.”

“Can’t partake in tradition if you’re locked down.” He teased. “Unfortunately the boys are home tonight too, so. Looks like we’re both going home to empty beds.”

Sophie scowled and leaned forward, bumping their noses together then resting her forehead on his. “Three more months and then we’ll have our own rooms in senior houses to have all the sleepovers we want.”

“Ah, not quite. Three more months and then you’re leaving me for a whole more three months.” Rafe corrected, resting his hands on her hips and rubbing gentle circles with his thumbs.

“Don’t remind me, that’s the worst part.” She groaned, dropping her head down to his shoulder. “I’m gonna pack you in my suitcase, you think you can make the flight in cargo?”

“Nah, you’d miss out on the clothing space.” He nudged her with his shoulder. “Hey.”

“Hey.” She mumbled against his neck, not wanting to let him go.

“As comfortable as this is, can we move to the backseat if we’re stuck here for a second? I want to give you your gift.”

She lifted her head and nodded, then crawled into the backseat, Rafe laughing as he got out then slid in the back with her. Sophie grabbed her backpack from the front seat. “Wait, me first. Close your eyes. It’s not wrapped yet, because I wasn’t ready - well, um. Just close your eyes.” She tripped over her words, cheeks feeling hot again as she thought again about how poorly she handled the day.

He reached out and squeezed her shoulders quickly. “It’s alright, Soph.”

“It’s not. But just close your eyes.”

Rafe nodded dutifully and shut his eyes, holding out an expectant hand. She placed a small wooden jewelry box in it, unwrapped, with dark red felt lining and a little grid organizer inside. He opened his eyes and furrowed his brow for a moment, running his thumb over the stained wood with his engraved initials on top. “It’s a box?”

She laughed. “Open it.”

He undid the latch and grinned once he realized what it was, with one of his rings she had ‘borrowed’ nestled inside. “How’d you know I needed one of these?”

“Because you’re always putting them in terrible spots. I took that one from the cupholder in your car last week.” She bit the inside of her cheek. “I made it, is it okay? Do you like it?”

“It’s awesome, Soph.” He leaned forward and kissed her quickly once he noticed her nerves. “I can’t believe you can make this kind of stuff, it’s fucking cool.”

She smiled, relaxing a little. “It’s not much, but I think it could be useful. Better than just setting your rings on your counter, anyways.”

“I love it.” He smiled back, then reached down and pulled out a gift bag from under the seat, handing it to her. “This is kind of...well, I don’t know, it’s not really a romantic gift. So maybe lower your expectations.” He warned.

Sophie raised her eyebrows, confused, until she unwrapped the gift and pulled out a big set of nice drawing markers, meant for architecture. Her meager eight pack had been steadily drying out over the semester, bought second hand from an older student, and were barely getting her by. She hadn’t realized he noticed from his time just hanging out in the studio with her.

“Wow.” She breathed out, unzipping the case and running her fingers over the markers all lined up.

“Is it okay? That’s the brand you use, right? And the colors are okay?” His eyes flitted over her face with brief concern.

She nodded quickly and set them aside, pulling him into a hug. “It’s perfect, Rafe, I don’t think you know how much I needed those.” She took a deep breath, a little shaky.

“You’re welcome, baby.” He ran his hands up and down her back, pulling her into his lap. “Hey. No crying.”

She sniffled a little, mumbling into his shirt. “M’not crying.”

“You are too, I can hear it.” He pressed a kiss to her temple and she lifted her head to kiss his lips. “I don’t like it when you cry.”

“I don’t like crying when I’m with you.” She gave herself a moment to compose herself. “Thank you, Rafe, so much. You’re too good to me.”

“No such thing.” He kissed her long and slow, cupping his hand against her cheek. “I love you Soph, no matter what.”

“Love you too. I promise, I’ll make Valentine’s Day up to you this weekend. You can hold this over me forever.” She teased, tugging gently on the ends of his hair.

He laughed, shaking his head. “Forever’s a long time.”

“Yeah, well, you’ll need it if you’re gonna put up with me for that long.” She grinned and kissed him quickly, not giving him a second to think about her words before crawling off his lap and grabbing the flowers and her gift. “I love you. You’re my favorite, I mean it.”

“Mine too.” He took the hint and helped her out of the car, then walked her to the door. “Sweet dreams, angel.”

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lindoig8 · 3 years

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Alice Springs & preparing for our Camel Trek

Thursday, 22 April

We drove the last 150 km into Marla on the Stuart Highway, the first sealed road for almost 700 clicks. We refuelled, although we probably still had enough to get us to Alice Springs. And we had lowered our tyre pressure on the gravel roads so this was the time to bring them up to pressure again because we would now be on bitumen right through to Alice Springs. We also ate our lunch there before setting off on the final section of our trip to the Alice.

We had expected to be stopped at the Northern Territory border for quarantine and Covid documentation checks, but there was absolutely nothing so we just kept driving through to Kulgera and thence on to Erldunda where we stopped for the night. There were a few more birds around the caravan park than at our previous stops, including a pair of Major Mitchells, a few vivid Australian Ringnecks and some Mulga Parrots.

We had another superb dinner at night, using our double-sided frying pan to cook a hearty roast chicken and vegetables meal to celebrate our arrival in the Northern Territory. Interestingly, we still haven’t turned on our TV to watch any DVDs since we left home. We have just read or done puzzles and turned in quite early each night. That will probably change once we are back in ‘civilisation’ again.

Friday, 23 April

We saw a couple of camels over the fence from our caravan after breakfast so took a few photos of them and told them that we would be walking in the desert with some of their brothers within the week – but that didn’t seem to impress them much. And then it was on the road again for the final 199 kilometres to Alice Springs.

We arrived at the G’Day Mate Caravan Park where we have stayed a couple of times before at about 12.45pm – a mere 3065 kilometres from home. We set ourselves up quite comfortably here and despite our resolve to leave all the cleaning and reorganising until after our Camel Trek, we did quite a bit of it during the afternoon. We have plenty still to do, but at least the main surfaces are now clean and most of our gear is accessible and usable if and when we want it. We noted a few more very minor damages to the van, but one important thing I saw when I disconnected the car from the van was that one of the two bolts in the trailer hitch had come loose and fallen out during the trip, leaving only a single bolt holding the van and the (fairly loose) towball hanging at an angle of about 45 degrees from where it should be.

We cooked another excellent meal for dinner and washed it down with a bottle of bubbles to celebrate our arrival at our first formal destination of this trip.

Saturday, 24 April

We had a huge fry-up for breakfast, using up lots of delicious leftovers before we started work for the day.

We had heaps of cleaning and rearranging to do as well as two giant loads of accumulated dust to wash out of our bedding and clothing. Everything was/is smothered in dust. I tried to get some out of our carpets and Heather did a lot of cleaning too, but it even coated everything in the fridge - how it infiltrated the fridge-seals beats me, but every cupboard, every drawer, every surface was reddish grey from its thick coating of dust. We had sealed boxes inside a closed cupboard under the bed and even they were full of dust. We will live with most of it until after our camel trek and do a more comprehensive clean after that. Of course, we will be travelling on lots more dusty roads over the next few months so I am quite sure it is all going to happen again, probably several times.

While the washing was on the line drying, we caught up with the scores of emails that had arrived while we were off the grid, with bills to pay and transactions to post, etc. There is no rest for the wicked and I had quite a bit of reading to do and correspondence to finalise for our next Owners Corporation Committee meeting the day after we get back from our Camel Expedition.

We also needed to restock some of our cupboards so went to the Supermarket during the afternoon too. It was a busy day even if we didn’t seem to have a lot to show for it. But we made a delicious paella for dinner - absolutely delightful! Man, can we do paella!

Sunday, 25 April

ANZAC Day, but apart from recognising it on Facebook, we didn’t make much of it this year. We both had things to do and I am still finding it exhausting to do much without gasping for breath with the lingering dregs of my cold - and a further 10 days later, I still haven't shaken it completely.

I wanted to check out under both car and van for any previously undetected damages and spent an hour or so crawling around inspecting the respective undercarriages. There is no indication of even the smallest damage under the car - what a mighty wagon we have! And perhaps surprisingly, the van is pretty good too. We have invested in a good deal of protective shielding over the years and although the metal guards are bent and ripped in places, it is still doing a pretty good job. It is just the odd stone that misses the shielding and hits something vulnerable (like a plastic water tap or unprotected hose) that does the occasional damage. But I guess a few million stones have hit the protection and it is not all that surprising that the occasional one gets through.

I had to tighten the towball that had become a little loose and retrieve the remaining bolt from the unit so I can buy an identical one and both tasks proved challenging, but I eventually succeeded with both. And we had to cut the padlock off the other gas cylinder so we replaced both cylinders with identically keyed locks. Accessing tools from both car and van and repacking the caravan boot also took time so with several rests to gird my loins again, it was almost lunchtime before that was all completed.

While I was doing this, Heather was reworking a draft I had prepared to nominate one of our Clubs for an award. We actually nominated them for two somewhat similar awards and it would be great if they got one. They really deserve it after their fantastic work supporting their members and growing the Club through the darkest days of the Covid lockdown.

We spent a good deal of the afternoon looking at our photos and writing stuff for our blogs but we went out for a 3-4 km walk in the arvo, just around the local area - basically along both sides of the very dry Todd River.

Monday/Tuesday, 26-27 April

In anticipation of our upcoming trek, we didn’t do a lot on these days. We had a couple of long walks in the area around the caravan park (one with our back-packs on to satisfy ourselves that we could carry the weight) and mainly just did more cleaning and maintenance around the van. We took quite some time packing for our Camel Trek to ensure we had everything we might need, that everything was fully charged and we were ready to take on the challenge ahead of us.

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veridium · 5 years

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my weekend: brunch, lake water, and crushes

Life these past few weeks has been so hectic since my friend group and I have taken to spending almost all our free time together while we still can. The bulk of us are moving out of town at the end of the month, after all. This means that every party night, every evening at the pub downtown, and every farmer’s market outing presents one of the last opportunities we’ll have to do it. I’m sad, but, I’m also happy to be getting to spent time with them now that school is done for them and routines have evened out a bit.

Yesterday we did a small road trip to a nearby river that has sand dunes on the shoreline. We spend the midday at brunch, and then picked up snacks before driving 2 hours to the water front. It was such a perfect evening of sunshine and cold water; we drank, smoked, and ate to our hearts’ content. When we got back into down it was 10:30 at night; some of us still wanted to go out (me included, but semi-reluctantly) so we decided we could after having a couple hours at home to rest.

I got home and ran through the shower, made dinner, and kicked back. A couple friends texted group chat saying they were opting out of clubbing so I thought we were rescheduling to the following night instead. Thus, I crawled into bed.

Well. As I’m just starting to doze off, my phone starts to go off: it’s my crush via FaceTime call. Mind you, she hadn’t texted me back since my last message was sent the night prior. I was also off-grid the entire day -- the dunes have no cell service, so even though I was wishing to hear from her, I knew I probably wouldn’t. It also hasn’t even been a week since I confessed to her that I liked her. But there I am, 11:30 on a Saturday, wearing next to nothing in bed, and she’s calling me.

And of course, like the fool I am, I answer.

As one does, I give her a little bit of shit for calling me out of no where and being a bad texter. Not a lot of shit, but, a tad. I had to race around to find my PJ shirt and get myself together! I had a right to be a little sweet-and-salty.

Nevertheless, she explained to me that she called to make up for it, and it eases my mind that she’s also in PJs just kicking back in her apartment. It’s then that I remember we’ve known each other for almost 3 years: she’s seen me at work, day in and day out, looking anywhere from hot/put-together to absolutely tired and ugly. I can’t explain why I’m suddenly so nervous and guarded except for the fact that now my flirting is out to play, which makes me sad because I have always felt comfortable around her.

It doesn’t help that, when she’s flirtatious, she’s kind of...very charming. Not in a pompous way; the kind of way that makes you feel like you’re being paid attention to, and appreciated. She makes remarks about my nervous giggling, and compliments my confidence, and asks why I’m suddenly so shy when certain subjects come up. She literally...like...called me, to talk to me. And we did that quite happily for a half an hour; I totally thought that was how I’d spend the rest of my night.

Then, RING RING RING: it’s my best friend texting me that they’re on their way to pick me up to go downtown. Turns out, the two friends who backed out weren’t enough of a deterrent for the rest of my friends to go out. I immediately throw myself into my closet and start panicking and cussing, because I have 5 minutes to get out of pajamas-and-sleep mode and into clubbing mode.

All the while, my crush is on FaceTime, along for the ride. Yep, welcome to my life.

All things considered, it was...sweet. She watched me do my makeup, and we continued to tease and talk shit. At the end of it, I let her pick out my lipstick shade, and showed her my dress...and all that kinda gay stuff. I still can’t believe I got dressed and makeup applied in 15 minutes. I must have been on some next-level, lesbian adrenaline stuff.

I stayed out until 2:30 with my friends and today I had to go to a casual coffee date with a friend-of-a-friend that I’ve had planned for like, 2 weeks for some reason or other. But now I am home, I am cozy, and I am ready for Game of Thrones to be OVER WITH.

But uh...yeah. My life is wild. And unexpected. But I’ll never forget the feeling of being on the river shore with my best friends, bottle of wine in one hand and blunt in the other, and just laughing about life. Completely, incandescently, foolishly content.

Oh, and the butterflies that erupted when she called. That, too. This Virgo, ya’ll. She’s gonna throw me for a loop.

#long post #personal #cw: marijuana #cw: alcohol #life stuff #crush stuff

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madzhoiland-blog · 5 years

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Traveling With a Cell Phone

Hey y’all, it’s me Maddie Hoiland here with yes, another travel blog. This one though is a little different; you see traveling in the 21st century, as glorious as it can be, has seriously changed. There is one thing that has changed it, whether it is good or bad, and that is your cellphone. And I know you all have one because almost everyone has them these days.

We can start on a positive note, with a cellphone we are easily able to capture any moment we want. We can take pictures, videos, selfies, panoramas, or really anything to fully capture that view or artifact. There are many blogs and sites out there with helpful information you can use to perfect your vacation selfies. But, are we too busy taking that Instagram worthy picture that will get the most amount of likes to really take in and enjoy where we are and what we are seeing? These days when you go to a beach in Mexico or the Grand Canyon in Arizona there are people enjoying themselves but there is also a great deal of them on their phones taking pictures and not really paying attention to their surroundings.

Don’t get me wrong I am totally those people who love to take pictures of every moment, but after I get a few pictures, I have to put my phone down and take it all in, experiencing a place will never be the same as seeing it through a cellphone. It is not bad we take our cell phones with us everywhere because they are helpful in emergencies and with taking pictures. Although, I think we can all do better with how much we are using them when it is not completely necessary.

Sunset in Cabo, Mexico - Taken by Author

Now I don’t know about all of you, but I am always looking for new places to eat and visit. So, what am I going to use to find these places? Of course, I am going to use my cellphone to find the top places to go to. Yelp has definitely helped me find some really good food places throughout many states and even in Mexico. Not only can you find places to eat but you can find local hidden spots. When I was in California just a couple of weeks ago, we were talking to a local and we asked what beaches she recommended on a Saturday because we didn’t want to go to one that was too crowded. So, she told us one route to get to a beach kind of hidden in a neighborhood and let me tell you, it was a secret gem that really wasn’t that secret. There were not too many people it was the perfect place to tan, swim, and eat our lunch as we had wanted. Oh, and to add to that I met this wonderful lady at one of the food places I had found on yelp, so what a coincidence.

Lazy Dog Restaurant Recommended by Yelp - Taken by Author

Yes, we can use our cell phones for good on vacation for pictures or finding the hottest spots to visit. But, cellphones can be used for “bad” in a vacation setting. With our work world being so digital one is easily able to check emails and make phone calls or even log into their online work-sites right there on vacation. I have experienced this first hand with my Dad who is a Home Mortgage Loan Representative. Whether we are laying out by the pool or just chilling in our hotel room, he may get a phone call or an email about an appraisal application. He then just logs onto his work phone or laptop and goes to work because most places we go to have decent Wi-Fi or he may have cell service. My family and I have learned to live with it because otherwise, we may not be on this vacation; even if it does bother us a little. The time one spends working and even looking at email is not only taking away from your mental state of relaxation but even from the other people, you are with.

My Dad working while visiting me here in Arizona - Taken by Author

Traveling is supposed to be relaxing, so don’t you dare let your cell phone ruin that for you. There is research out there that points to vacations not only being good for your mood and to help you relax but to increase your health. You always hear “vacations increase your mood and decrease your stress” and yes this is true, but it also in return boosts one’s productivity. So, while you’re on vacation it is important to unplug in order to successfully relax. When laying by the pool or on the beach or traveling through small towns and churches take time to take it in and really embrace what you are seeing.

While we are on our phones during vacation we tend to be surfing through social media and chatting with our friends, but this tends to take you away from the moment you are in. whether you are just looking at posts or messaging a friend you are connected back to home which can alter your mood and make you wish you were there instead of the vacation you’re on. This should never be the case so be careful to limit how much you let yourself see from back home; otherwise, you will not completely enjoy your trip and be able to relax without thinking of being home with other friends or family.

Taken of Author’s Family in Mexico

One thing I have not personally ever thought or heard about until writing this blog was a total unplug vacation. There are companies out there that will now plan and help you travel without a cellphone. We are human’s in the 21st century and are not used to living without our cell phones anymore; the minute we think we lost our cell phone or left it, someone, we freak out. Is there really a way for us to unplug or do we just need to scale back, while on vacation?

Let your technology take a break while you do. Another off the grid company will take your phone and give you another, but one of the old ones some kids will never know even existed, with no camera and no internet access. The goal of these trips is to truly experience every second and not worry about sharing it with others, just yourself. A lot of people are addicted to their phones these days, but not all would admit it. Do you think you are addicted to your phone? Do you think you would be able to go a week without your cellphone? Honestly, I don’t even know if I would be able to do that.

Sunset in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico – Taken by Author

I know I have been saying a lot of bad things about how your cellphone can ruin your vacation but I would be lying if I said I could not travel without mine. The camera on my cell phone is much more convenient than bringing another camera I own because it fits in my pocket and I can turn it on with just a tap to the screen. As I have grown up though I definitely have become very dependent on my phone especially while I am on vacation and I kind of realized I should not spend so much time on my phone. I should be spending it relaxing and enjoying my time with my family and friends. I like to take pictures, along with everybody else. But I do not go out of my way to take a million selfies or pictures. I'll take a few and if I like at least one I call it good. Of course, you need at least one Instagram worthy picture to post, but if I don’t get one does it really matter? Maybe I was out enjoying my time instead of worrying about what I was going to show the world. Many things Instagram famous or even just famous people in general post, people have urges to travel and pose like them. Instead, what if you made your own journey and went to different places?

Traveling with a cell phone is not a horrible thing, just be cautious of how much you use it so you can enjoy your vacation as much as possible. Experience the moments now so you can remember it more clearly later.

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kamechan98 · 5 years

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I’ve Sworn Of Dating (But I’ll Gladly Let You Buy Me A Coffee)

Prompt: “That’s irrational.”

Read on AO3

“You know I really hate you for this.”

“Don’t really see why, you need a break from your workshop anyway. And maybe get around some people while you’re at it.”

Tony rolled his eyes at his best friend and took a sip of his soda. Ugh, being social was so overrated. Why couldn’t Rhodey see that Tony was fine being on his own like this? Sure, he really liked to hang out with his friends, but he also really liked his alone time too. Was that really so hard to understand?

And, okay fine, maybe Tony had been spending a bit more time by himself these last month, but so what? He’d had inventing sprees before and he’d been fine before. He had JARVIS who could order meals for him and Dum-E would make him smoothies or coffee and there was a couch there too in case he needed a nap. What more did he really need?

Rhodey took a bite of his burger, never once breaking eye contact with the stubborn genius. “Look, Tones, can I be real here for a sec?”

Tony shook his head. “I’d really rather if you didn’t, Platypus.”

Rhodey ignored him. “You’ve completely locked yourself away! I mean, it’s one thing when you’re wrapped up in your work and just forgets about everything around you-“

Tony scoffed and rolled his eyes. “And what makes you so sure that I’m not? I will have you know that I am so close to figuring out how to get my arc reactor technology to work for larger projects! Like, buildings and entire power grids! If I crack that, if would mean a whole new field in Green Technology and Stark Industries could go entirely green and ecofriendly, not to mention how many people would-“

Rhodey sighed and waved a hand at him, cutting him off mid-sentence. “Yes, yes and that’s all really great, you know I think it is. But the point is that I’ve barely seen you for almost a year, and closing yourself off like this and avoiding all human contact is just not good for anyone. And, to be honest, I’m worried about you.”

Tony waved a hand dismissively at his friend. “Oh you’re such a worrywart, Honeybear. I’m fine and you know it. I’m like a cockroach, I’m impossible to kill and I always make it out alright.”

Rhodey rolled his eyes and rested his chin in his hand, his elbow resting on the table. “Yeah, because me or Pepper drag you out of there, making you eat and sleep before you crash.”

Tony froze in his seat, for just one second reminded of why he had been locking himself away for a month. But he had long since perfected the art of not showing himself weak or at a loss, and so put on his usual, charismatic smile and hoped that Rhodey hadn’t caught that small moment of weakness.

“I am wounded, Rhodey! How can you have such little trust in me, after all that we’ve been through together, our years at MIT-“

Rhodey cut him off again. “Yeah, those years at MIT are exactly why I don’t trust you to take care of yourself. You are many things Tony; smart, resourceful, funny and a very good friend, but you have the self preservation of a banana fly.”

Tony placed a hand over his heart and gasped in mock hurt. “Honeybear, how can you talk about me like that, I thought we had something special.”

Rhodey smirked teasingly at him and munched on a few fries.

Rhodey had dragged him out to a local diner and forced him to have lunch with him, after having been in the workshop without break for almost a whole week. Tony had put up a fight, as much as he could against Rhodey’s superior strength, and whined and complained and made himself as obnoxious as possible so Rhodey would think he was too annoying, drop it and leave him alone to work in peace.

It hadn’t worked, obviously.

But Tony knew his best friend, just like Rhodey knew him too well. Rhodey had something else he wanted to say or talk about, and Tony had a feeling he knew what it was, but he wasn’t ready to talk about that. Not yet, and probably not ever.

But of course, Rhodey wasn’t one to avoid tough topics, at least as far as Tony was concerned, so when he cleared his throat pointedly, Tony knew what was coming.

“So… I thought about going out tonight; maybe get a few drinks and dance with Carol. You wanna come along? We’d both love to hang out with you, you know, it’s been forever.”

Tony rolled his eyes with a low groan. ‘Here we go again.’ But still, there was a small chance that he could get Rhodey to drop the subject, so he tried to look as flippant as he could.

“Oh yeah, I love being the third wheel to my best friend and his girlfriend when they go out to drink and dance on a Saturday night. Gee Rhodey, it’s like you know me inside out.”

Rhodey smiled weakly, though it was probably supposed to look relax and spontaneous. Like Tony was supposed to believe that this was something he had come up with on the spot.

“Well, I’m sure we could find a date for you too if that’s a problem. I mean, you’re great at attracting handsome men and beautiful women; you’re downright charming when you want to be. In fact, I already know this girl; she’s one of Carol’s friends and is going to law school. She’s really cute and-“

‘Oh my God, really? Are we doing this?’ Tony rolled his eyes and shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. He knew that this would come up sooner or later, but God, why couldn’t it have waited a little? Or never.

He groaned and looked up at his friend, trying his hardest to be patient. “Rhodey, I told you I’m not dating anymore. It’s clearly not working out for me.”

“You’ve been with plenty of men and women before! What’s that they call you, ‘Genius, Playboy Philanthropist?’ It’s not like you’ve never hooked up with anyone before, so what’s the problem now?”

Tony shrugged and took another sip of his soda. “Yeah but ‘hooking up’ and ‘dating’ are two very different thing. I can handle casual sex just fine, so long as we’re both aware that’s what we’re doing and there are no strings attached to anything, then it’s all fine and good. But I’m done with dating other people. Casual sex is fine but no dating, no tying myself up to one person, no love.”

Rhodey looked at him incredulously. “You cannot be serious, Tony. You can’t give up on finding love because one relationship didn’t work out, that’s irrational. What are you afraid of?”

Tony stared at him for a second, then sighed and looked him straight in the eyes. ‘Fine then. If you want to go there Rhodey, fine, we’ll go there!’

“Oh, you think this is all about Pepper? You think that I’m so torn up about her that I’m swearing off dating? Oh-ho no, no I can handle one relationship not going the way I want them too. But it’s not just her; it’s literally every single relationship I’ve ever tried with anyone! They always turn out to be assholes, bitches or some poor soul who can’t handle me and all my broken parts and bad history. No one I date ever sticks around for me or want me for who I am, Rhodey. So why bother?

Rhodey suddenly looked at all sympathetically, a rather pityingly, which made Tony even more mad. He didn’t want Rhodey’s pity; he just wanted to drop it all.

“Aw, come on Tony, you shouldn’t let those assholes control your lives like that. You deserve to find love just as much as anyone else in the world, you shouldn’t let a few bad apples spoil the batch for you.”

Tony rolled his eyes again. He knew Rhodey cared and was just looking after him like the good friend he was, but the whole thing about dating had been really soured after so many bad attempts at find real love.

Emma Frost had been nice at first but eventually it became clear that she only liked him because of his money. And she was also from a wealthy family, and he had heard her talking shit about him behind his back, like mocking his mental health, his heart condition or his trust issues or daddy issues.

Adrian Killian had been very interested, almost obsessed with him for a while, and Tony was so starved for some kind of positive attention from someone other than his friends. But then Tony introduced him to Pepper and Rhodey, and Killian had suddenly started to obsess over Pepper and had left Tony in the dust and tried to flirt with her instead.

She had turned him down several times, of course, but still. Not a great feeling when your boyfriend starts mooning over your best friend.

Christine Everhart had also seemed interested at first, but once he started to open up to her and tell her more personal stuff, stuff about other dates and how he’d felt hurt by how most of them had turned out, she had run to the School Papers and written a story about it, as well as other secrets he had told her. Then she’d dumped him for being upset about it.

Justin Hammer had just been a dick that was trying to find ways to beat him by trying to be smarter or better at inventing and building things, which hadn’t hurt so much because he’d gotten the hint that Justin was a pathetic little bitch and had broken it off very quickly.

Sunset Bain had been manipulative and leeched of his money, asking for expensive dates and gifts and what-have-you despite not exactly being poor herself, just like Emma. And it had been revealed that she had been trying to steal blueprints and secrets from Stark Industries through him for her father, which she had succeeded at in the end. Jesus, he would never forget how mad Howard had been at him for that, or the beating it got him.

Tiberius Stone had been forceful and abusive and had pushed Tony into sex before he had been ready, and it also hadn't helped that he was a few years older than Tony so it had before he had been old enough to 'consent' to it. While it hadn't been rape, it was still too close for comfort, since Tony had more or less agreed so he would stop demanding or guilt trip him into doing as he wanted. After that incident Tony had overheard Ty making jokes about the whole thing and how 'Stark had cried like a bitch over it the whole thing, like sex is a big fucking deal' and that 'he should be glad to lose his virginity to someone like him since no one else would want to', and he had broken up with him on the spot. Well, after he had hacked into the school's computers and ruined his grades, outed him as a rapist to every one who’s opinion mattered and let Rhodey, and Pepper have their way with him. He hadn't really given his consent for the last one, but the information had made its way to him anyway and despite all of them getting detention for it, he felt good knowing his friends had his back.

And while Pepper was the first person he dated that wasn't an asshole or a bitch, it had just been made very clear that they weren't working out as a couple and worked better as friends, which they still were to this day. And it really said something about Tony's ability to judge people that Pepper- for a short time- was the only person he had dated that wasn't abusive or wanted stuff from him. Really, it seemed like Tony was a magnet for assholes, bitches and crazy people.

Oh well, Tony guessed it was the price he had to pay to be awesome and from a rich and successful family.

So that’s seven. Seven attempted relationships that had all turned out bad, stretching all the way back from high school and all the way up till after he had graduated college. How is that even possible?!

Well, okay, Tony knew why. It was because he was Tony Stark: son of the Great Howard Stark, one of the biggest and richest men in the world and the greatest weapons builder, genius and businessman of his generation. And Tony had also built himself up as a genius and a handsome, charming and successful young man and was just building up his own future with his own company, focusing on creating new technology or things that might help people, like advanced prosthetics, his arc reactors that would change the world in the fields of green energy, programs that might help people work through trauma or bad memories or mental health.

So yeah, Tony knew he was successful and on the way making a big, strong name for himself as CEO of Stark Solutions, especially for a guy who hadn’t even hit twenty-five yet. But as a rich, handsome, intelligent and famous guy, it was only natural people would try to take advantage of to get their own fifteen minutes of fame.

But still, falling for it seven times? That is beyond pathetic.

Well, maybe six, since Pepper had never been that bad. But to try so many relationships and have them all blow up in his face again and again? To give his heart to someone else only to have it stomped on time and time again and be told that he wasn’t good enough or that was a wreck, or a wimp or whatever. To let someone in only to have them hurt him in the worst possible way?

He sighed and fought hard against the tears. He couldn’t take it one more time. If it happened again, he would probably break beyond repair.

“Look Rhodey, I know you just want me to be happy and all, but I have tried it before, several times only to have my heart stomped on and a knife shoved in my back six out of seven times. Pepper tried her hardest, but it hurt that one of my best and oldest friends couldn’t handle my-“ His voice cracked and Tony interrupted himself to clear his throat and pull himself together before he started crying or something equally humiliating.

“My issues.” He eventually finished, refusing to meet Rhodey’s eyes out of shame. He heard a despondent sigh, and then felt an arm around his shoulders as he was suddenly pulled into Rhodey’s arms.

“Oh Tony… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to poke at old wounds.” Tony nodded but stayed quiet. “It’s just… You know I love you, right? You’re like a little brother to me Tony and I want you to be happy, and you’re not. Not really. I mean, I hardly recognize you anymore. There’s very little left of that snarky, passionate little guy that I met that first year at MIT. The kid who was fearless and snarky and driven and wanted to live life to the fullest and wasn’t afraid to slip up or crash and burn if it meant learning all he could. It’s like you’ve forgotten how to be… you. And I miss you.”

Tony looked away and down at the floor, blinking hard to get rid of the tears.

Rhodey’s grip around him tightened slightly and ruffled his hair comfortingly.

“And I’m not saying you need to date to be happy, but it’d be a start, or even an idea. And just because you’ve had a lot of bad luck with dating before doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to find someone special.”

Tony took a deep, somewhat shaky breath and licked his lips. “I can’t Rhodey. I can’t do it again.�� Because how many times can a guy take having his heart broken before it becomes broken beyond repair? How many times can a nice girl or sweet guy turn around and turn out to be a complete asshole on you before you learn to take the hint and realize you can’t trust them?

And just how cautious would one have to be with dating anyway? Where did Tony need to draw the line before deciding a second date was okay? How would he know who was decent and who was a sheep in wolf’s clothing?

“What do you mean, ‘how cautious do you need to be’?” Tony froze. Had he said that out loud? “Look, normally I would be all for being careful with strangers and all, but don’t you think you’re being just a tiny bit… um, paranoid?”

Tony jerked his head up and away from Rhodey’s shoulder and glared at him, no hints of teasing or light fun because this was not something Tony was kidding about. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? What, you think I should throw myself at anyone and just see what happens, huh?”

Rhodey’s eyes widened and shook his head, clearly realizing his mistake but Tony wasn’t about to let it go that easily. “Wha- no, no, that’s not what I-“ Tony cut him off, growing more and more angry and hurt by the second.

“And paranoid, really? Is it paranoid to be worried who’ll lie and manipulate you until all your secrets are out in the open for the world to see or read about? Is it paranoid to be afraid that some other asshole will abuse and use you sexually against your will?” Tony got up from his seat and planted his hands on the table, leaning over Rhodey and staring him down. “Tell you what Rhodey, when you’ve had your heart stomped on and been used and abused by every single person you’ve dated, then we can chat about being fucking paranoid!”

Tony grabbed his bag, threw the few couple of bills he had brought with him on the table to tip the waitress and pay for his half-eaten meal before storming towards the doors of the restaurant and left in a huff, ignoring Rhodey calling after him to ‘wait, stop’ and ‘Tony, I didn’t mean it like that’.

...

Tony didn’t really know this neighborhood very well, it was somewhere in Brooklyn that he had never been in before. But at the moment he wasn’t heading anywhere specific, he just stomped down the street, angry and hurt and somewhat betrayed by what Rhodey had said.

‘How dare he call him paranoid? Who is he to tell him how to feel about everything he’s been through? He had been there when Tony found out about Sunset’s mind games, when Tony called him in the middle of the night, hysteric with tears and asking for a ride home after having been raped by Ty! And he was telling Tony he needed to get over it and get back in the dating game again!’

Because while Pepper had hurt him badly, however unintentionally, Ty had been the one who had left the deepest scars in him. The guy had acted like he cared so much, had treated Tony like a prince for months, had been sweet and cuddly and strong and protective and made Tony feel so special. Only to become possessive and abusive, had tried to cut Tony off from his friends and eventually push and pressure Tony into sex before he was ready.

How do you trust anyone after being used and abused like that?

But deep down, Tony knew that Rhodey was right.

When they had met in college, Tony had been driven and witty and full of energy. He wanted to learn everything and had a thousand ideas for projects and wanted to do everything at once. He had been reckless, fearless and Pepper and Rhodey had been forced to rein him in or carry him home after a party. But with time, slowly but surely Tony started to rein himself and became more and more cautious and introverted. While he remained as charming as ever whenever he needed to be, which was vital when you were business man, he never went out of his way to meet new people unless it was for a quick romp in the sack with no strings attached. Which inevitably led to him getting the title of Playboy and was described as ‘not boyfriend material’ by the Press and Media, but hey, that was just what he wanted so who was he to complain?

Still, he could understand that Rhodey wanted to help him and bring out that old Tony that he knew back in college, but Tony wasn’t sure that old Tony was still there. He might have died some time after he had broke up with Ty.

Tony sighed and sat down at a bus stop, resting his head in his hands.

Yeah, he missed those carefree days too. Those days when he had passion and drive and a lust for life. When he had been fearless and outgoing and not burying himself with nothing but work 24/7, which was where the only place he found any engagement or passion in these days.

So he had thriving business and bank account but absolutely nothing else to show for it. No family, no love or affection and little to no friends. And even that wasn’t much, since Pepper was an even bigger workaholic than he was and Rhodey was away most of the time with the Air Force. And no one to share his life with.

Oh, how Tony might long for something akin to true love, or at least someone he could share his life with. He had dreams of finding someone, someone who was caring and sweet and honest and who wanted to be with him, not Howard Stark’s son or the CEO Stark Solutions or Tony Stark the rich and successful. Someone who loved him for all of his faults and ugly parts and bad history and issues drenched in issues and wanted to stay with him despite of them.

Someone who loved him for him.

But finding someone like that would mean to open himself up to the world again. To show himself vulnerable and naked before someone’s judgement again and hope it wouldn’t leave him heartbroken again. And that he just couldn’t do. Not again.

Because what if they turned out to be another asshole, or gold digger or lying dickface who just wanted to cash in on his money or fame or success? Someone after the things he had to give rather than who he was and what he could give that didn’t involve money or fame? And once they had gotten what they wanted, they would leave him broken and hurt once again to lick his wounds and try to piece his heart back together again.

Or worse… what if they were good? What if Tony did meet someone, someone who turned out to be everything he wanted? Someone who was good, who treated him well and made his heart flutter and he could lower his defenses around. What would he do then? Sure, he had been able to do it alright around Pepper, but she had known him since high school, so she didn’t count. And even then she hadn’t been able to handle all of it anyway, so it’s not like it really mattered. But Tony had never had a relationship where he felt like that and it had worked out, so if someone actually did turn out to be good, how would he deal with that? What if that person would make him open himself and he wouldn’t be able to close himself off again?

To be really honest that thought scared him way more than the idea of getting his heart broken again. At least that he had learned to deal with well enough at this point, but being loved? Actually, genuinely loved by someone who was better than decent?

Tony shuddered. No, he wouldn’t know how to handle that.

A horn honked, loudly and it made Tony jump and look up to see that a bus had stopped in front of him and the driver was glaring at him, annoyed and frustrated and spoke with a thick Brooklyn accent. “’Ey pal, you ridin’ or what?”

“Uh, no?” Tony said, more than aback than angry at the attitude he was given. ‘It’s New York pal, what were you expecting? You’ve really been locked up in the house for too long.’ he scolded to himself.

The guy rolled his eyes, muttered “whatever asshole” closed the doors and started to drive off. Tony rolled his eyes too. Seriously what were people’s problem? Sure, it New York but was there any need to a jerk every single second of the day?

But the bus made him remember that he needed to find his way back home soon, so he took out his phone to find what buses or subways he needed to take to get back home, when he heard someone running and yelling up the street.

“Hey, wait!” A guy came running down the street, waving and hollering at the bus top stop, only for the driver to ignore him and flip him the bird as he drove away. The guy groaned, frustrated and angry and ran a hand through his hair.

“Ugh, fuckin’ asshole! He saw me, he fuckin’ saw me an’ he snubbed me! This never happen’d in Boston.”

‘Hm, so we have a pure-bred Brooklynite here.’ Tony mused to himself when he heard the guy’s accent.

He glanced up from his phone and paused for a second when he got a good look at the guy. And hellooo Adonis, the guy was seriously built, had a body that would make a bodybuilder jealous and beautiful windswept, blonde hair and big, baby blue eyes. He looked hot and yet sweet at the same time, All-American in a way.

He looked so hot!

‘Yeah, so did Tiberius and look how that turned out.’ That traitorous part of his brain reminded the more lustful part before it could go too crazy and he immediately stomped those feelings down and looked back down to his phone. But he had never quite learned how to turn his mouth off so before he knew it, he said,

“Yeah, I hate it when that happens.”

That was a lie. Tony had never been one to ride buses, he’d always been driven somewhere or- after he gotten his license- driven himself wherever he needed or wanted to go. Come to think off it, he’d probably never ridden a bus in his whole life. But it had seemed like a good thing to say.

The guy looked over at him, groaned again and then sat down beside him on the bench and ran his fingers through his blonde hair again. He then looked over at Tony and down at his phone. “You know when the next one comes?”

Tony glanced up from his phone, raised a suspicious eyebrow before looking after at the timetable. “What, you can’t read the timetable?” If being a New Yorker meant being a dick to avoid being screwed over was commonplace, might as well act the part. Plus, he probably looked like a rich asshole anyway, with his fancy clothes, shoes and stuff; he might as well make the guy think he was one. Might get him to leave, stay quiet or at least make his brain stop going on about how hot he was.

The guy groaned at him, frustrated, before getting up and looking over the timetable, before groaning again and sat back down.

‘So, not good then.’ Tony mused and smirked a little, hoping the guy didn’t see it. ‘Sucks to be you.’

But then again, it wasn’t like Tony was in a better place. It was a long way back home from here and he really didn’t want to take the bus or subway at this time of day, it would have to be packed. But oh well, that was fine, he would just call a taxi and be home in-

Oh for fuck’s sake! Rhodey hadn’t given him time to grab his wallet before dragging him out of his workshop and out to lunch, insisting it should be his treat. He had only allowed Tony to change into a clean shirt and nicer jeans and he had only been able to grab a few ten-dollar bills to tip the waiter, which he had already left at the restaurant. So he had no money on him to pay a taxi or even a ticket for the bus or subway.

Wonderful. Fan-fucking-tastic.

‘Guess this is Karma for thinking asshole-things to strangers.’

Tony resisted the urge to groan or swear out his frustration and started to search through his bag for any bills he might have missed or maybe something he could bribe someone with to get a ride back home. Had Tony been the least bit rational he might have swallowed his pride, called Rhodey, apologize for blowing up at him and ask for a ride home, since he was the one who drove them here. It was what a truly smart person would do.

But Tony wasn’t rational and had too much stubborn pride to call his friend and ask for a ride after how he had blown up at him earlier. Also, had already ignored the calls from his friend up till this point, and he wasn’t about to answer now only to ask for a ride and admit that storming out of a restaurant and run off in a part of the city that he didn’t know very well probably wasn’t very smart.

‘No way Jose, that is so not happening. I’ma let him stew a little, let him worry. That’ll teach him who’s the paranoid one’

Had Tony mentioned that he probably wasn’t very rational?

He sighed and closed his bag. No luck on any bills magically showing up and he hadn’t brought anything worth enough to by a ticket with. And he wasn’t wearing a watch that he could pawn either. And judging by the map on his phone, it was at least twelve miles from here to his house on Manhattan. Not very long to drive, but pretty long to walk.

‘Oh well, what choice do I have?’ Tony got up from his seat and started to walk, only for Big, Blonde and Beautiful to call out after him,

“Hey, are you lost?” Tony turned to look over his shoulder at him. He looked a little concerned, any annoyance or frustration he had earlier gone.

Tony rolled his eyes as subtly as he could, turned to him with a smirk that was only a little cold. “Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. What’s it to you, pal?” He turned away started to walk again, only to hear him call out again:

“You need directions?” This Tony only looked over his shoulder at him. He had no interest in talking to hot guys at the moment.

“No.” Yes. He had his map on his phone, but actual directions might not be so bad at the moment. But, again, Tony wasn’t very rational and had a very strong pride and was still pissed from his and Rhodey’s talk at the restaurant, so stubbornly kept walking down the street and followed the map.

According to Google, a walk from Brooklyn to Manhattan took about three hours and ten minutes, and Tony had- of course- not taken he best shoes for a long walk today, but if he were lucky maybe he could flirt his way to a ride home when he’d cooled off a little. But he’d barely made it a down the street before he heard someone run after him and for a second he thought Rhodey might caught up with him and was ready to tell him to fuck off, when he heard Mr. Blonde call after him.

“Hey, wait up!” He rolled his eyes. What was this guy’s deal, couldn’t he take a hint? If Tony wasn’t so pissed at the moment, maybe he would be somewhat impressed by this guy’s stubbornness, but he was pissed and wasn’t in the mood to talk- isn’t that a first, he could barely keep quiet when he was alone- so didn’t even spare the guy a glance when he caught up with him and started walk beside him.

‘Don’t look at him, Tony.’ He told himself, eyes locked straight ahead and head held high. ‘Don’t encourage him. Keep your answers short and few and he’ll loose interest.’

“Hey, come on, let me help. I know my way around here, I can give directions if you need it.”

“Not interested.” Tony said curtly, still not even glancing at the guy.

“Are you sure? I mean, no offense or anything, but you don’t exactly look like you’re from around here and I thought you might need a little help?”

“No thank you.” Tony cursed himself after the words left his lips. ‘Don’t say thank you, moron! You don’t say thank you to someone you want to get rid off. Don’t be afraid to be rude to a stranger.’

Blonde Hercules hesitated and didn’t say anything for a minute or so, but he kept following Tony down the street. ‘Fine.’ Tony thought with a mental shrug. ‘Maybe he needs to got his way too or something. Just don’t acknowledge him.’

There were a few minutes of blissful silence- or as quiet as it ever gets in New York- before Adonis looked back at him again. “Where are you going anyway?”

‘What is this guy’s deal? Is he blind, deaf and just all-around stupid? Or is he a stalker, or a rapist, waiting for them to come across some dark alley, drag me in there and steal his stuff and have his way with him?’

‘Well, jokes on him then, I’ve learned enough self-defense to deal with big boys.’

Read the rest on AO3

#my fic #my writing #stony fic #stony #stevetony #superhusbands #tony stark #steve rogers #james rhodes #rhodey #i wrote a fic #drabble #tumblr prompt

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medical-caffeine · 6 years

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My Essentials to Surviving the Journey to Step 1/COMLEX

Disclaimer I have NOT yet gotten my step score, but this is just a list of things I found absolutely essential on my journey to taking step one. Keep in mind everyone is different, different things work for different people. Here’s what worked for me:

1. USMLE First Aid. Obviously. I had mine completely unbound and hole punched and I put it in a binder. I’m the type of person who needs to rewrite things while I study in order to fully understand them. So having it unbound allowed me to make my own notes and put them in the sections i needed them. I must say, as time went on I had to buy bigger and bigger binders and by the end it was a little overwhelming (and heavy to carry back and forth to school) but overall I’m happy with my decision to use it this way.

2. GIVE YOURSELF A DAY OFF. Every week of my dedicated study period I gave myself a day that I allowed myself to look at NOTHING medicine related. I used this day to reset my brain and get prepared for another week of powering through. For me this was every Sunday. I would make alllll my meals for the week so that I didn’t have to worry about it. I caught up on TV shows and allowed myself to not feel completely isolated from the world. I can’t stress enough how important I find this. All my friends at school who didn’t do this burnt out SO QUICKLY and noticed a HUGE difference once they gave themselves a day to relax.

3. Have a support system. Have a group of 2 or 3 people at school who support each other and allow you to vent about the uworld block you didn’t do well on, to celebrate the NBME you rocked or to just have meals with and take well deserved breaks throughout the day with. Honestly this was probably my saving grace. Me and my friend would pretty much alternate weeks of being stressed out and the other one would always assume the role of being positive and building the other person up. I was pleasantly surprised with how much support we all give each other around this time. Be supportive of other people. You can be the difference they need that day to push themselves further. Plus, I always find being nice to other people makes me feel better. Half the battle of these tests is the mindset you go in with and positivity was something I really used to my advantage. Which brings me to my next point

4. POSITIVITY. Look. I am in NO means a positive person. Ask anyone who knows me. But in the past year, I’ve learned the importance of a positive outlook in achieving your goals. Positivity doesn’t mean being unrealistic, it means being okay with outcomes that may not be what you wanted and being open to adapting to those outcome. If you dwell on a bad score, you will become that bad score. I guarantee it. Look yourself in the mirror every day and tell yourself how amazing you are, how hard you are working, and that you are going to do great. I know, I know, it sounds so stupid. But honestly IT WORKS. I even put post-its around my house when it came down to crunch time so that if I was having any negative thoughts, it was an extra boost to remind me that I can do it. I set an alarm on my phone to go off every single day from before dedicated till now that said “you’re doing great and you’re going to do amazing on your boards”. At first it feels like empty words but you don’t even realize how much it is shaping your brain. On test day, if I felt like I was burning out, I would scribble a “you can do it!” on my scrap paper. It’s these little things that re-shape your brain to be confident in yourself.

5. Listen to your body. There are going to be some days you just feel more burnt out than others. On those days, listen to your body and call it a day early. Sometimes it is WAY more beneficial to have that time to reset your brain than to get frustrated and not even fully absorb the information you’re studying.

6. Exercise. Besides the millions of studies that showing exercise is good for your brain, I found it to be my saving grace stress reliever. Plus it’s good for you! Working out in the mornings would give me a clearer head throughout the day and having it to relieve my stress at night allowed me to sleep so much more soundly and wake up feeling refreshed. Plus sitting around all day isn’t the BEST thing for your body. Make sure you get up every few hours and walk around. I would take a lap around my campus at least 3 times every day. After all I’m an osteopath- mind body soul, my people.

7. Utilize your school staff. Whether thats a therapist, a mentor, academic specialist, the dean... whoever it may be, sometimes you just need to hear from someone higher up that you’re doing the right thing. AND before you decide to change a test day, make sure you consult with someone higher up. We doubt ourselves way more than we should and this could be our own worst enemy. I had a friend who changed his test day frantically after he took his FIRST practice test and now he’s doing amazing on them and still has to wait a whole month for his test day.

8. Don’t study at home. Now this might be a complete personal preference, but I really find it way less isolating if you are in a quiet room with people. Plus on test day, you’re going to be in a room surrounded by other people so you might as well get used to it now. Besides that, I like to use my apartment as my safe haven. When I’m home, it’s relaxation time. I feel like if I studied here at all times my lines would get blurred and I would just constantly be feeling like I should be studying. This allowed me to get good sleep at night and gave me something to look forward to after a long day of studying.

10. GET SLEEP. This one is easy. You can’t absorb anything if you’re sleep deprived.

11. Practice under testing conditions. I bought myself a laptop stand (for the duel purpose of also keeping my posture better and preventing headaches) and a mouse for my laptop so that I could simulate how I would be taking the test on test day. Honestly I really feel like this helped because I felt completely at ease at the testing center and it didn’t take me time to get used to using an old fashioned mouse again. I just hopped right in to it. (It also helps that the study room at my school LITERALLY looks like the test center rooms. Gray walls. gray cubicles.The slight resemblance of prison... anyway, I digress.)

12. Do not listen to anyone else. This is by far the hardest one. Don’t pay attention to how other people are doing on NBME’s. Don’t listen to other people talk about topics they’re geniuses on. and DON’T go on reddit after you get a bad practice test score. (Seriously this will just dig you in to a hole of despair). People tend only to talk about their achievements and not their weaknesses. Sure they know the glycolysis pathway backwards and forwards but maybe they know absolutely nothing else! Try your absolute hardest to have tunnel vision.

13. Let everyone know how it’s going to be. If you’re anything like me, this helped A LOT. About 2 months before my test, I let everyone outside of med school know I would be off the grid. This took so much pressure off of me because then everyone knew that I wasn’t trying to ditch on their birthday celebrations. I was forcing myself to study. (And if you have AMAZING friends like me, they’ll send you love and support while you’re hard at work and give you something great to look forward to after your test day!)

14. Plan your practice tests wisely. This is something I wish I knew before I started. All of my NBME’s and practice tests I would take on Saturday mornings after I studied for the entire week, looked at the computer screen for hours on ends and just read SO MANY question stems. I didn’t realize how burnt out I was on Saturday mornings until I took a practice exam on a Monday after having a Sunday off and ACED it. Although the practice tests are great study tools, the scores you get really do impact your mindset and your confidence level. So make sure when you take them you have ideal conditions to do your best.

15. The day before your test... take the day off. Give your eyes a rest. But keep busy and TRY to keep your nerves at bay. I made a little review sheet of things I know I wanted to remember on test day and glanced at it from time to time when I had those moments of panic that I should be studying SOMETHING. Make sure you know where your testing center is, take a drive to it. Exercise. Eat well. Hydrate. TRY and go to bed at a decent hour. Tell yourself how amazing you are. Breathe. It’s almost over. :)

#usmlestep1 #comlex #medblr #medical school #medicine #medical student #oms2 #ms2

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southcoastfires · 4 years

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Happy New Year!

I think the thing that surprised me most was how deluded we were. The Currowan fire was enormous, bigger than anything anyone had any experience with. The longer a fire burns, the hotter it gets, and this had been burning for weeks. I knew it was dry, you could see it on the ridges - they were browning off. Not dead, but getting there. We’d been mountain biking frequently up the back of Maulbrooks Road, to the west of Mogo. We knew it was crisp-dry.

I had checked the fire prediction map the night before, and even though it showed ember attack on the eastern side fo the highway, I still could not believe that suburbs like Malua Bay or Catalina would be affected. They were just too….suburban. Yet, when I look at the map now it’s clear that Malua Bay, Tomakin, Broulee, Rosedale etc.,. lie at the eastern end of a huge, uninterrupted tract of bush directly to the northwest, bush that had an active fire in it, a fire that had been burning for weeks, in unprecedented dry conditions. These brick and tile suburbs, with their lawns and trampolines and boat trailers, were basically at the end of a gun barrel.

Map showing the track of the NYE fire

It took days to get information about the local area. I could call anyone in any city on the planet on the landline, but no-one closer than Nowra.

Eurobodalla Council had run a campaign leading up to Christmas to get Canberra holiday makers back to the coast (they’d been staying away due to the smoke and threat of road closures). Now the Kings Highway from Batemans Bay was closed, the Princes Highway was closed and the only way out was to the south. Many were now stuck in the region with kids, caravans, trailers and boats. The trouble was, there was no fuel. All the petrol stations had fuel but no power to pump it with. It took a couple of days for generators to reach Moruya, under escort through the road closures, in order to pump fuel. Canberrans had to drive up Brown mountain through Cooma, the road was later closed due to fires in that area too.

Moruya Heads, New Year’s Day. The smoke and ash prevented communications and radio, as well as blocking out light for solar panels.

We drove the 8kms to T’s Dad’s place. His house, like many others locally, is off-grid and relies on solar. He had about one day before his power, that also operates his water pumps, ran out, as the ash coated his panels and also prevented sunlight. T climbed up on the roof and cleaned the panels and then we went home. We had water, a flushing toilet, solar hot water but no power. We told our daughter it was like camping but in your own bed.

It was OK. We bought a couple of boxes of veges off our neighbours from Queen St growers, one for us, one for T’s Dad and partner. We had rice, eggs, pasta, lentils, a substantial metho stove with fuel and an Engel fridge in the van that we stopped using once we ran out of milk.

Our diet was a little more vegan than usual - each morning I made porridge with coconut milk, chopped almonds and honey, and we ate a lot of beans and veges for the rest of the meals. We had two cars, one of which was in town with a full tank of diesel, the other at home and running on fumes. T’s work van had half a tank and sat in the driveway, slowly being filled up with tools.

Neighbours dropped in and told us they’d ‘circled the wagons’ at the evacuation centre at the Moruya showgrounds, and camped together, but that it was noisy, unhygienic and there were dogs roaming everywhere. Our next-door neighbours returned home from the evacuation centre, offering us their generator powered fridge if we needed it.

I went into town to Southlands (grocery store), which was letting people in on a one-in one-out basis. Outside I ran into friends and neighbours who’d left the Heads and were staying in town, all with friends. We hugged and caught up with each other. She told me that there was no fuel, batteries or hoses left at the hardware store. She'd been on an unsuccessful hunt that morning for a P2 mask.

Inside the grocery shop was dark with the power still out, but the food was fresh as they’d loaded up their old refrigerated truck as the fires came through. I didn’t buy much - we didn’t need much - just some avocados, passata and a bit of fruit. Nearby there was a long queue outside the pharmacy, people who I was told her waiting for their methadone. They waited more than three hours for the doors to open.

While I was in town my phone got a bar of service and I checked Instagram. A good friend who lives just outside Bega posted about the Cobargo fire, and how many friends had lost their homes. It was the first sense of the magnitude of the fire that ripped eastwards through Cobargo at dawn on New Year’s Eve.

After two and a half days we managed to get ABC Illawarra on the car radio. It was only then that we heard that about 400 houses had been lost in the 20km of suburbs directly to our north, and estimates of another 400 lost in the Bega Shire. It was unbelievable.

I heard a couple of interviews, one who was a career firefighter who described the fire as more fierce than anything he’d ever seen, creating its own tornado winds and just levelling everything in its path. The bush was so dry that fires were able to get hot enough to become weather driven (instead of fuel driven). This meant they could burn across open paddocks, burning little more than just the air ahead of them. He was describing fireballs that travelled across open country, at the speed of the wind.

We heard more stories from people further north, stories about people running for their lives onto the beaches at Malua Bay. People driving to a beach and then realising it didn’t have enough sand between them and the flames. People jumping into the surf at Rosedale and almost drowning in the big southerly swell running. I heard that rest home residents abandoned their ‘emergency place’ - the dining room - and started hosing down the burning debris that landed up against the buildings.

Many people had moved to evacuation centres, but the toilets at the Showgrounds were on an electricity operated pump system, and quickly failed. UOW’s campus at Batemans Bay was used as an evacuation centre for elderly residents from a couple of local rest homes. They sat in their wheelchairs for hours, while the temperature inside the building rose. There was no air-conditioning and no ability to open the windows, or even the main front door. Once the front door was manually opened it had to be manned by a security guard to stop people who weren’t elderly evacuees from entering.

I heard later that the elderly sent to the UOW campus were there because the evacuation centre at Hanging Rock, opposite the UOW campus, was overflowing. There was nowhere near enough chairs, so many elderly were sitting outside on the concrete. I also heard that many of those evacuated were ‘on oxygen’ and arrived at the campus with their O2 lines connected to their noses and masks, waiting to ‘plug in’ to the O2 at UOW. However, UOW Batemans Bay does not keep oxygen readily available. So, there were elderly people sitting in wheelchairs, requiring oxygen but with none available. One witness told me that an off duty nurse said, ‘These people will start dying in a matter of hours without oxygen’.

Ten day’s later, I was at a dinner with friends when a woman told me that Andrew Constance had visited the UOW campus and called the premier, Ms Berejiklian and told her she needed to get the people out of the campus or else it was going to be on the front pages of every newspaper in the country. Multiple ambulances collected the evacuees and took them back to their respective rest homes. This woman was proud of Mr Constance for his decisive action.

Another person at the table said, “So the state government ignores climate change, then ignores the immediate warnings about a bushfire catastrophe, doesn’t plan anything at all and then when it all turns to shit on their watch, one of their team gets to ride in a look like a hero for saving the day?”

It was one of many, many tense conversations in the weeks that followed.

Many stories we heard were also inaccurate. We heard that Mogo was completely gone, that Mossy Point was completely on fire, that Broulee itself had lost hundreds of houses. We heard that the Princes Highway was still burning at Bimbimbie and would take months to be repaired. I managed to text a friend and colleague who lives in Catalina. We have another colleague and friend at Jeremadra, and I was very worried about her. The text came back - she’s OK and we think her house is still there.

This was what it was like - we’ve lived here for many years, we know thousands of people. There was also the brutal knowledge that the southerly that ‘saved us’ would most definitely have spelled disaster for others. It’s a terrible feeling of weird relief and guilt.

And every night I’d make sure the phone volume was turned all the way up, in the hope that one of my city friends might call the landline if we didn’t receive an emergency text. Our neighbour left their south facing windows open so they’d be woken by any glow that might appear on the hill behind us. I woke many times every night and stood outside looking for glowing red or orange to the north of or south.

At some point the state government issued a state of emergency but that meant nothing to anyone as far as I knew. There was still no power and no communication.

A neighbour came down for a coffee and said he was worried about all the junkies drying out. We laughed and talked about everyone going a bit mad and paranoid. This was not helped by the numerous stories of looting going around, as some suburbs were evacuated and people weren’t allowed back in once they’d left.

Always, ALWAYS make sure you have the ability to make coffee

For three days after NYE the RFS was issuing extremely serious warnings about the coming Saturday (the 4th). As everyone gradually started to see and share images of the destruction on whatever limited communication they had, the panic started to set in.

The suburb remained fairly empty. NYE was a Tuesday. We were warned by the RFS on the radio that Saturday was the real danger day. Our neighbour came by and told us the RFS wanted everyone out of the Heads for the 4th.

This was not a mandatory evacuation, and we were told to place our recycling bin outside the house to indicate we were home. Days later I saw another neighbour on the beach. She asked if we’d gone to the community meeting in town on the Friday before the ‘Saturday fire day’. I said no, we didn’t know anything about it. She said,

“If you’d been there there’s no way you would have stayed. They told us that the RFS would not be defending the Heads at all, and that they were only going to defend the town (Moruya)”.

Lucky we didn’t go to the meeting then!

We kept checking the forecast leading up to Saturday - it showed an early northerly and then noreast for our place. We started to feel a little more confident - a strong NNE would likely be more onshore for us at the coast, protecting us to the north. The Fire Spread Prediction Map showed us as the only tiny little avenue of untouched area. This was comforting but we were also aware of how inaccurate the previous NYE map had been, showing Malua Bay etc.,. as untouched and yet they burned.

We decided that I would evacuate into Moruya the night before with the kid and the dog, and T would ‘stay and defend’. It was a mad few days prepping the house. T cut sheets of corrugated iron for all the doors and windows, rigged up a watering system, cut down many of trees and branches. We packed everything we felt we ‘couldn’t live without’ into the cars and the van, including two huge tubs of Lego.

Days later, when we finally felt like we could unpack everything, I found this little message written next to the windowsill in our daughter’s room;

We moved all the cars into town, leaving T at the house with his electric mountain bike. There’s only one road into the Heads, and it’s flanked in sections by bush. T thought that if that road was cut, or the road to the beach was cut he’d have a better chance across the paddocks or through the bush on his bike. And with that, we waited for our second “fire day”.

#currowanfire #clydemountainfire #nswburns

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za3k · 4 years

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Life-logging in 2019

I’ve been keeping a time log since somewhere around 2011. A time log is a journal with a complete record of everything I do. I’ve become very consistent about it, so this seemed like a good time to write up my current habits for anyone interested.

This is going to be a mixture of information about life-logging, how I organize things, and my current schedule, because they’re not really separate things.

There’s an interesting story about how I systematically broke everyone one of my habits, and it took me 17 years to get in a daily routine after that, but that’s a story for another time.

If you’re curious, I’d guess it takes me 2 hours a week spread out to do my life-logging, 1 hour to type it up, and 1-2 hours to do my weekly review. In my mind the original life-logging doesn’t cost me anything because it’s so automatic, it’s zero-energy, and it has some psychic benefits. By psychic benefits I’m talking about the same kind of thing you get from GTD–you’re not constantly thinking about or trying to remember things that are already written down in a trusted system. Typing it up and review are not free.

Time log (2011-)

I keep a written (pen and paper) time log which I normally just call my “log book”. Each entry has the current time and what I’m doing. I typically record an entry either when I start an activity, finish one, or notice I’ve switched activities. I’m on volume 9.

Today’s page starts like this (italics are censorship or words added for clarity):

Date: 2019-12-17, Tue 12:02pm Woke up on my own slightly before alarm. Dream about […]. (7h12m sleep)[100ml yellow rockstar recovery. (33mg caffein, 400mg taurine–from front material)]Morning data log (see below)Brushed teeth12:55pmCancelled torrent verification–I already know this will failResponded to gnu coreutils ‘date’ threadhealth stuff2:02pmTrying qutebrowser. Feels very productive.2:04pm[Coke Zero Vanilla, 1 can]

I’m not fastidious about what the time represents. The questions I most often ask are “when did this happen roughly” and “do I have any big portions of my day I’m not time-logging”. I’m less concerned with exactly how long I spent doing each particular activity.

There are some things I try to consistently write down every single time, including:

Exactly when I woke up, especially if I don’t use the computer first thing (see “Sleep Log” below)

Any dream if I remember it

Any food or drink I consume, with enough information that I could generate nutritional facts if I wanted. I omit food amounts if it’s a pain to measure. 1 package of ramen: yes, 125g chicken curry: no. I put food and drinks in hard brackets: []

Watching a movie, TV show, youtube, or reading a book. I used to underline these, now I’m trying putting them between underscores: _. I’m switching to write these in a computer-understandable way but it’s a work in progress.

Anything health-related, including symptoms, drugs I took, and bathroom visits. Drugs are a type of food [], the rest is freeform.

Travel from point A to B

Phone calls. I don’t always manage this one. While you’re picking up the phone is a really garbage time to try and write something.

Any time I change timezones

Any time I work on a project for more than a couple minutes

“Where did that time go”: one of the goals here is to have no huge gaps. If I spent time browsing the web or researching, some vague notes on what about. If I talk to someone in person, noting who and possibly what topics we talked about (talking in person often feels like minutes in my head but hours on the clock).

Here are things I don’t write down:

Information that I’ve put elsewhere. See below for specifics on what else I have! This one isn’t hard and fast, but I’m a believer in things being in “exactly one place” as much as possible–I do make some exceptions since I’m working with paper

General-purpose notetaking, thoughts about what’s going on, TODO lists, etc. This is just a boring ol’ record of time. I do sometimes jot down TO-DOs when out of the house since this is the only paper I carry on me, but at the rate of 1-3 a week. I also may write down where I’m at in a really long-running computer project, just to make sure I can find it later.

Anything a human shouldn’t have to write or read. For example, I could write down the youtube URL or the UPC code of everything I buy… but nobody has time for that, and I’d only write it down wrong.

At the front of the book I have a table with guides to abbreviations, ingredients in things I have often (ex. caffein amounts or recipes). In the back is my bookkeeping section (see below).

I am currently using the Leuchtturm1917 gridded notebook, with date labels at the top of the page. I’ve been experimenting with felt micron pens–I’m looking for something that can write easily, but won’t smear when I close the book. I’ve used Moleskins in the past–I stopped using them because 2 of 5 split at the spine for me. Leuctturm seems a bit better but more expensive–time will tell.

One a week, I type up my time log up to the last page. I’m working on my backlog slowly. This lets me search more easily. I have plans to someday cross-reference better in a computer system (for example, include nutritional info, link to youtube videos, etc).

Bookkeeping (2019-)

Fun fact: b-oo-kk-ee-ping is the only word in the English language with three consecutive double letters. Bookkeeping is keeping a record of what you earn and spend, or what you buy and sell.

For the most part, I pay for everything using a credit or debit card, which I’ve been doing since 16 so that I have a financial record for my own benefit. Most banks offer an easy export. I get paper copies, then once I download the PDFs from my bank, throw out the originals (I’ve checked one or two match the PDFs by hand). I use mint.com for the purpose of having a CSV export from my bak statements. I used to put this export online (currently broken, check back soon).

Starting a few months ago, I started keeping a weekly record by hand. Every time I spend money, I’ll put a $ symbol in my time log,

2:21am Amazon $

and add a bookkeeping entry (real thing is prettier).

2019-12-15, Sun [ ] Amazon -29.21 -236.07 Choline citrate, 500g

The entry includes:

The date (2019-12-15)

Where I spent the money (Amazon)

How much money (29.21)

How much total I’ve spent this week (236.07)

What I bought (Choline citrate, 500g). If it was more than one thing, how much each item cost. I’ll try and write price-per-pound if I’m buying bulk food or meat. If I’m buying more than one of something, I’ll write how many I bought and how much each is. I’d like to consistently write down how much of something I got (ex. 16oz of cheese) but I don’t at all yet.

If it’s something that needs to be delivered, I’ll write a checkbox. Then when it arrives, I’ll check the box and write down the date it arrived to the right. This way I can easily scan and see if something never got delivered.

Since I use the same book for my time log and my bookkeeping, bookkeeping goes from right to left, two pages per week. At the end of the book, I keep

a running record of any debts I owe

any undelivered packages from the previous log book

During my weekly review process, I copy this information to my (digital) weekly review and add it up by category to check against my budget. I used to check it against my bank statements, but it takes forever and it’s easier to just be really good about writing down everything to start with. Checking totals and category totals is pretty time consuming the way I do it, I’ll probably automate it soon.

Budget

My current categories are:

taxes, bills, rent: Predictable expenses, no need to check these on a regular basis. I separate out medical bills in my summary, which are not regular.

travel, hard drives, moving: Big but one-off expenses. Currently I don’t have a way to budget these.

charity: I aim for 10% of my income after taxes (a tithe)

other: The main budget category, I try to keep this at $1000/month ($240/week). I actually break it down into categories like “food”, “groceries”, and “luxuries” so I know what happened, as well as pulling out any single big expenses.

Weekly Schedule (2019-)

My current schedule is weekly:

Monday: Do meal planning for the week, and grocery shopping for the week if needed.

Tuesday: Cook food for the week.

Thursday: Batch day. Do all the small chores (<1 hour) on one day. I aim for around 2-4 hours of chores, but I’m fine skipping a batch day if I don’t really have anything. I almost always clean my room and do laundry at minimum. I also have a running list of small tasks: call the doctor, clean the fridge, fix SSL certs.

Friday: Review day. I’ll do a weekly review, and a monthly one if it’s the last weekly review of the month. Then I’ll type up the timelog up to that point in time. For my weekly review, which I do on my computer, I write down

How much sleep I got on average

What I did each day of the week (summary of that day’s time log). Typically once I cut out really boring things (brush your teeth), food, movies, etc there’s not all that much left.

Accomplishments. Anything I got done this week. Also, any big milestones reached (finished X) even if the last step wasn’t that impressive.

Reflection/things learned: Did anything major happen? Did I learn any new facts? This is my time to look at the big picture and thing about how my life is going lately and where I’d like it to go. Also, if anything especially good/bad happened, I try to think about why and how to make things go well next time.

Finances. I copy down my expenses for the week and total them by category.

Saturday: Nothing planned.

Sunday: Nothing planned.

I haven’t done batch cooking in a while, but I’m also trying to run out my food supplies because I’m about to move, so we’ll see if it sticks around.

Daily Log (2019-)

Every morning, I record:

The date and time I’m recording

How much sleep I got (but not when I went to sleep or woke up)

What day it is in my schedule

The temperature of the room

My body temperature (am I running a fever?)

How much exercise I got yesterday, in minutes (and what type)

My weight

I don’t think it matters that much how you do these measurements, but it’s important to be consistent (for example, weight with clothes on/off?)

If I have a specific habit I’m trying to pick up (say, brushing my teeth twice a day or meditating) I might record that for a while too each day. I used to record a mission for the day, but I dropped the habit.

Automatic Logs

I put all my computer logs in a single combined format, and sync them to a single location, starting in 2019. The format is basically <date> [<log name>:<computer name>] <Log entry>. I don’t have a great process to view logs yet.

Sleep Log (2019-) / Keystoke Activity Log (2013-)

I log which hours I was asleep. I live alone and tend to fall asleep first thing after closing my laptop in bed, or at least with a video playing in the background, which makes this relatively easy. I keep a computer log of whether I’m using my keyboard (I almost never do anything with just the mouse) for each minute using a custom-built keylogger (it records activity but not passwords).

Then I run it through a custom script (included in link) which says which broad periods I was active. The biggest inactive period in a day is when I was asleep.

~ $ sleep? Report period: 2019-12-17 00:00:00 – 2019-12-17 16:21:06 (16:21:06s) Inactive: 2019-12-17 04:50:18 – 2019-12-17 12:02:58 ( 7:12:40s)

I was asleep from 4:50am to 12:02pm. I make sure to write down when I wake up into my time log in case I don’t use the computer first thing. This has been much better at guessing when I fell asleep than anything else I’ve tried.

If you don’t fall asleep at a computer, I have some ideas around using a motion sensor (cheap webcams can see in the dark)

Chromium History Log (2013-)

I use Chromium as my only web browser. I export the history and bookmarks every time I do a backup, and put it all in a standard log format (basically time + URL). Currently I only record each history entry once.

For futureproofing, I archive every webpage I go to on an irregular basis (about once a year). Archiving pages doesn’t work super well but it’s better than nothing.

Video/TV Log (2019-)

I watch my movies using noice, either directly on my television, or streamed from my media server to my laptop. When I start watching something, it automatically gets logged (including what the movie is, the path, how long it is etc). Same for when I stop, so I know if I quit early.

Youtube is included in my chromium history (see above). Sadly I’m not sure I can get ‘how much of this video did I watch’ from my format–only that I visited the video.

For futureproofing, I automatically archive every youtube video I watch.

Bash History (2011-)

This one is pretty simple. My Linux shell history (everything I run from the command line, which is basically everything I do outside a browser) is saved, forever. This one goes back to 2011 for my laptops.

Scanning (2014-)

I scan all documents I write, mail I get, etc. and generally throw out the originals. I organize everything by hand, and keep everything as image files.

I use a flat folder structure, which is to say I have a “scans” folder and then a bunch of folders in it like “taxes – 2019”. No nesting. This was my main takeaway from GTD for Hackers and I use flat folders for most digital organization.

I use the Doxie Go feed-through scanner (doesn’t need a computer, writes directly to SD which I love). I recently got a Canon Lide 400 flatbed scanner (works on linux) which I use to scan bound books like my time log.

Who else does this stuff?

As far as I know I came up with this stuff independently. I’ve read plenty of time-management resources (which tend to be good) and experimental journaling resources (which tend to be… scarce?).

Lion Kimbro: “Make a complete map of every thought you think”. General journaling. Inteview.

Fenn Lipowitz (my roommate): Time log, with an emphasis on being completely machine-readable. Being machine-readable means click for pretty graphs. I took inspiration from how machine-parsable this was recently, but I want to keep my freehand sections too.

Bryan Bishop (acquaintance): meetlog, a system for recording conversations and topics of conversation. Overall I didn’t find this useful because I don’t know hundreds of people. The format is so-so, largely because the author can type very fast, including real-time transcripts. I got the inspiration to write topics of conversation while talking from this. I do something similar if I spend a long time thinking or researching, too.

Bullet Journaling: I dunno, if you’re super lost and don’t know how to write a journal/TODO list, some guy figured it out for you! It’s just the basics that you’d figure out on your own, but it may save time. The site is better than the book. I independently invented most of their notation for TODO lists, I don’t find it too useful for a journal. Other peoples’ bullet journal pages are also useful, not just the original author’s.

Life-logging in 2019 was originally published on Optimal Prime

#bash history #browser history #daily log #forever #journal #lifelogging #log #schedule #self #self-improvement #sleep log #timelog #watch #cross-posted-from-blog

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racingtoaredlight · 5 years

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The degenerate’s guide to college football TV watch ‘em ups, 2019 season, week 9

It’s week 9 and it’s time to get serious about all of the football watching and the gambling and the talking about and all of those things and there is a World Series game tonight but the best sports thing of the day?

Miami @ Pittsburgh got listed as “must watch” in the SB Nation watch grid this week and I can’t stop laughing. Yes, it was listed as that because of the high probability of inexcusably bad football leading to a frontrunner to play in this year’s Orange Bowl. Sigh sigh sigh.

The format is a weekly battle. The information is taken from FBSchedules and Vegas Insider. Be very leery of any opinions contained in this post.

Saturday, October 26

Matchup Time (ET) TV/Mobile

San Jose State at Army 12:00pm CBSSN

I haven’t kept up with Army this year and I see they’re sitting at 3-4, the same as San Jose State. Good.

Mississippi State at Texas A&M 12:00pm SECN

I’m rightly astonished that neither of these teams is ranked right now. aTm is above .500 and has a very well-compensated head coach. What more does an SEC team need to get a ranking?

21 Appalachian State at South Alabama 12:00pm ESPNU

App State is 6-0 and favored by 27.5 on the road. I know USA has been trash this year but I’d put a nickel or so on the Jaguars to keep it close enough to win money. Strong words? You bet.

13 Wisconsin at 3 Ohio State 12:00pm FOX

Wisconsin just had to beat Illinois to make this the biggest of Big Nude Saturdays and they couldn’t do it. Now I’m not really sure what argument there is to take the Wolverines +14.5. Funny stuff, Chryst.

5 Oklahoma at Kansas State 12:00pm ABC

The line is going up and, sure, KSU isn’t as good as their record but when have they ever been? Even when they were a yearly threat to lose all their games K-State has found a way to be worse than their record. But 23.5 seems like a lot to favor anybody in Manhattan.

Bowling Green at Western Michigan 12:00pm ESPN3

Illinois at Purdue 12:00pm BTN

Illinois isn’t good at all even though they beat Wisconsin last week but if they were in the ACC Coastal they’d be in contention for an Orange Bowl berth. Purdue is favored by 9.5 which seems bold to me.

20 Iowa at Northwestern 12:00pm ESPN2

The weather forecast I’m looking at has clouds, no precipitation, normal wind. The over/under is 37. I’m not sure what to do with this. It seems reasonable.

Liberty at Rutgers 12:00pm BTN

Liberty is playing for bowl eligibility against the oldest program in FBS here in college football year 150. What a horrible world. If you feel like watching this for some reason, Antonio Gandy-Golden needs 123 yards to get to 1,000 for the season.

Miami (FL) at Pitt 12:00pm ESPN

Miami has only won one conference game this year and it was against Coastal power Vir.... v-vv-v-vvvvv.... Vir... Virginia. LOL. This ain’t your daddy’s ACC! It’s as bad as it used to be but now there are more teams. If the Canes win they’re right back in the race to get humiliated by Clemson on the way to a large bowl payout.

Southern Miss at Rice 1:00pm ESPN+

Rice is on the road to 0-12. Southern Miss is bad but has a QB in the top 10 nationally for pass efficiency. If you’re in the mood to make weird money put something down on the Fightin’ Favres -10.

Nevada at Wyoming 2:00pm ATTSN

Great off-brand west coast football that is only available if you have DirecTV or if you bootleg your sports.

Ohio at Ball State 2:00pm ESPN+

WKU at Marshall 2:30pm Facebook

Pound the over in this game that you shouldn’t watch unless you work for the NSA. I love the C-USA but don’t countenance using facebook for anything.

New Mexico State at Georgia Southern 3:00pm ESPN3

This is passable alternate programming but there’s something much better starting 30 minutes later.

Tulane at Navy 3:30pm CBSSN

Malcolm Perry has turned things up a notch in recent weeks but I still feel unsatisfied with the Middies and think just enough of Tulane to recommend taking them +3.5. I definitely think o/u 57 is too low.

Maryland at 17 Minnesota 3:30pm ESPN

All year long the dozens of people that pay attention to Minnesota football have been saying they’re the worst undefeated team in the country. If the Gophers want to live up to their reputation, Maryland is exactly the type of team they should lose against at home.

UConn at UMass 3:30pm FloSports / NESN

I don’t think about UMass football very often. Can they really be so bad that +10 to UConn is justified? That is breathtakingly awful.

Virginia at Louisville 3:30pm ACCN

If Virginia can get past the imposingly average Louisville Cardinals they may effectively have the Coastal Division locked up before we get to November. That’s not usually the way things work for Virginia in particular or the ACC in general.

15 Texas at TCU 3:30pm FOX

This is bullshit.

Syracuse at Florida State 3:30pm ESPN2

We’re pretty close to the twentieth anniversary of this matchup becoming almost completely worthless. Now that both programs are just barely hovering above the dirtline it’s exceptionally worthless.

6 Penn State at Michigan State 3:30pm ABC

Oklahoma State at 23 Iowa State 3:30pm FS1

Iowa State at -10.5 seems dicey as hell to me but my faith in Chuba Hubbard is as unshakable as my faith in Oklahoma State overall is built on a foundation of sand.

North Texas at Charlotte 3:30pm ESPN+

UNT UNT UNT. That’s all.

Miami (Ohio) at Kent State 3:30pm ESPN+

Boy, look at all this MACtion.

Indiana at Nebraska 3:30pm BTN

Indiana opened as a favorite on the road at Nebraska. Huskers aren’t making it back to prominence without the kind of violent criminal element that made the program great to begin with.

FIU at Middle Tennessee 3:30pm NFLN

FlInt’l is favored by 2.5 to get their first win on the road. This game is on NFL Network because Butch Davis used to work for them.

Eastern Michigan at Toledo 3:30pm ESPN+

Central Michigan at Buffalo 3:30pm ESPN+

9 Auburn at 2 LSU 3:30pm CBS

What if Joe Burrow throws three 4th quarter INT touchdowns? That would be a great tribute/way to announce he’s quitting the Heisman race.

Arizona at Stanford 3:30pm Pac-12N

This is probably as bad as anything the MAC could throw at you. Fortunately for most of you, there’s no way for you to see this game legally.

Akron at NIU 3:30pm ESPN3

Awful.

Florida Atlantic at Old Dominion 3:30pm ESPN+

I’m really looking forward to Urban Meyer spurning FSU and having them end up hiring Lane Kiffin. We’re probably 8 weeks away from that.

USF at East Carolina 3:45pm ESPNU

A lot of times a confluence of factors gives a certain matchup a bittersweet, melancholic tinge. This is the saddest game of the year so far.

Duke at North Carolina 4:00pm RSN

On the one hand I don’t really like UNC at all. On the other hand I want them to win this game by 65. This is the scrappiest piece of shit game you will not see at all today.

South Carolina at Tennessee 4:00pm SECN

This game is also a total piece of shit but Tennessee is not scrappy at all. They will quit at a moment’s notice.

Hawaii at New Mexico 4:00pm Spectrum PPV / MWN

Hawaii is favored by 10. The o/u of 71 is tough but I bet the Rainbow Warriors hold up things on their side.

Arkansas at 1 Alabama 7:00pm ESPN

Are you ready for the Mac Jones Era to start? Tua Tagovailoa is out for at least this game and the line has dropped from 35 to 31.5. Great chance for Arkansas to not lose by as much as we all expect them to lose. Could be huge for the program that has lost 15 conference games in a row. It’s not every week a coach can tie a record held by the great Bret Beilema.

Memphis at Tulsa 7:00pm CBSSN

Gainwell! RTARLsman! I’m good with stats and I’m expecting Kenny Gainwell to get about 105 yards rushing and 364 yards receiving. Book it.

Texas Tech at Kansas 7:00pm FS1

Lawrence at night, one of college football’s most magical venues. the line is creeping down as bettors realize the homefield advantage for the Jayhawks is, uh, almost equal to the badness of Texas Tech. Almost!

UCF at Temple 7:00pm ESPN2

Temple got pretty lucky to beat Memphis (bad turnovers, bad call late) and now they’re going to need some more magic to stay alive in the AAC race. A major bowl is probably out of the question for both of these teams at this point but this should still be pretty entertaining, even if UCF is pretty heavily favored for a road conference game.

Texas State at Arkansas State 7:00pm ESPN+

There is a huge buzz of disinterest surrounding this game.

Troy at Georgia State 7:00pm ESPN+

I don’t have a great handle on the goings on in the Sun Belt but Troy opened as the favorite here. That’s kind of weird, right? Even now Georgia State is only favored because of hometown bump.

Boston College at 4 Clemson 7:30pm ACCN

Boston College is about due for a massive upset, aren’t they? No? Yeah, no.

Colorado State at Fresno State 7:30pm ESPNU

Actually kind of fun in theory but I’m not gonna watch it. This is true football degeneracy in action.

Missouri at Kentucky 7:30pm SECN

Kentucky is still playing that WR at quarterback but I still want to put money on them +10. Because Missouri isn’t great, either.

8 Notre Dame at 19 Michigan 7:30pm ABC

This is a pick ‘em? Is Notre Dame really exposed to that level? I’m rooting for Michigan in this one but Notre Dame is gonna beat them by like 50, right?

24 Arizona State at UCLA 7:30pm Pac-12N

Arizona State got killed last week and hung in the top 25. There are not 25 good teams this year.

Louisiana Tech at UTEP 8:00pm ESPN3

UTEP, it turns out, is very bad. If you want to be a good degenerate you’re gonna need some hooch and a rooting interest in one of these teams beating the 20.5 point line. Louisiana Tech is the easy pick but live an exciting life in your underwear, alone on your couch.

California at 12 Utah 10:00pm FS1

If there’s a prop on the number of plays run in this game take the under. I am going to absolutely love this one.

Utah State at Air Force 10:15pm ESPN2

I still have no idea what to think of Jordan Love. I don’t think he’s great but what if he ends up in San Francisco? He definitely hasn’t lived up to the preseason hype but we’ve got at least one recent example of that not mattering at all with a “small school” prospect. Air Force is a weird environment and a true homefield advantage. Maybe Love can get off some lasers and hang around as a top prospect for the 2020 draft.

San Diego State at UNLV 10:30pm CBSSN

SDSU is starting to pick up steam and UNLV is mostly a speedbump of a team so go for that -12.5 if you’re feeling lively.

Washington State at 11 Oregon 10:30pm ESPN

For all of the tank for Tua hype there’s still a realistic shot that the much taller, much stronger armed Oregon QB Justin Herbert goes #1 overall in 2020. The Ducks are probably the Pac-12′s only outside shot at a playoff appearance this year but they aren’t quite so good that I’d feel safe putting money on them even now. Autzen isn’t as intimidating as it used to be and Washington State still has some punch left even if they have been a huge disappointment this season.

#saturday post #watch em ups #degenerate football #football #college football #rtarl watches tv

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faucetdouble51-blog · 5 years

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72 Hours in Seattle

Hi, it’s Abby. My mom asked me to write an introduction for this post about our last-minute trip to Seattle a few weeks ago. I was invited to play in a soccer tournament there and this one was different than most because there was only one game a day, which means there was plenty of down time to explore a city. (That is how I convinced my mom to go.) We flew out the morning after my last final and stayed with her college roommate, Jenn for three nights and three days. Mom already told you that the culinary highlight of our trip was eating a Dutch Baby with backyard raspberries in Jenn’s kitchen nook, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t pound some pavement in search of great food around town. Here, Mom and I take turns giving you a run-down of our packed 72 hours.

DAY 1: THURSDAY

1:00 [Jenny] I am forever in search of counter-service spots when I travel, especially for lunch, when you don’t want to spend an hour-plus lounging around while the sun shines on a brand new city that is calling for you. That’s why we dropped our bags at my friend Jenn’s house (in Ballard) at 12:45, then headed straight to The Fat Hen, a sweet, bright fast-casual spot that served avocado toasts, ricotta toasts, freshly squeezed juices, and good coffee. It killed us to forgo Frankie & Jo’s, the vegan ice cream shop sensation right across the street (they have multiple locations around the city) but we were saving room for dinner. FYI: Delancey — remember Delancey? — was right there, too. [Photo credit: Seattle Magazine]

2:30 [Abby] We walked from Fat Hen down 15th Street to Ballard Avenue, the main drag in Ballard, a neighborhood that reminded me of Brooklyn. There was a ton of stuff to do and a lot of fun shopping including a cool second-hand furniture store called Ballard Consignment, an aesthetically pleasing succulent store (I can’t remember the name, can someone help me?), and a trendy clothing place called Prism where my mom tried on a thousand dresses but ended up just buying my sister an iron-on patch for her jean jacket that said “Stay Wild Child.”

4:00 [Abby] We met up with my mom’s friend Jenn, who got out of work early for us, and headed to Golden Gardens Park for a walk. It was so beautiful! I got a virgin pina colada at Miri’s, a new cafe right on the beach. Also, even though everyone says Seattle weather is not so great, look at our sky! It was like that for most of the time we were there. (Here’s a tip to future travelers: Go there in late June, early July.)

5:30 [Jenny] I think the only reason why I agreed to take Abby to Seattle was so I could try to snag a table at The Walrus and the Carpenter, the original Renee Erickson French-style raw bar in Ballard that opened almost ten years ago and that I tried to get into during my last visit, only to be turned away by the long wait every time. This time I wasn’t messing around. At the very un-glamourous hour of 5:30, I dragged Abby, Jenn, and Jenn’s 15-year-old daughter Stella to dine on fried oysters and small plates in their bright happy space. FYI: Erickson has opened a bunch of other places in Capitol Hill, including a steakhouse Bateau, another oyster bar with the greatest electric mint color scheme (Bar Melusine), and stuffed doughnut mecca General Porpoise, which, for Abby, might’ve been more of a reason to go to Seattle than her soccer tournament. (More on that below.)

7:30 After dinner, we walked back up Ballard Avenue to get ice cream at Salt & Straw, the Portland-based makers who have won over legions of fans with their artisanal concoctions…think Fresh Sheep’s Cheese and Strawberries or Oregon Wasabi and Raspberry Sorbet. But the line was too long, and even though it was still early, we were on East Coast time, so we headed home to bed. (For those of you interested, here’s an interview with Salt & Straw founder Tyler Malek on the always awesome Bon Appetit’s Foodcast.)

DAY 2: FRIDAY

10:00 [Abby] I had a soccer game in Redmond (we won 4-0!) where the most exciting food moment of the morning was a pretzel that came with that fakey nacho cheese that is so delicious. We didn’t get to start exploring again until lunchtime and decided we wanted to spend the afternoon checking out Capitol Hill. First stop…

12:30…Rocket Taco for lunch, where we ate some of the best carnitas tacos I can remember.

1:45 It was Pride Month! We loved the rainbow crosswalks which made for especially good instagram posts. (That’s me with our friend Maylie. And this was at the intersection of East Pine and 10th Ave.)

2:30 [Abby] And of course, we had to hit Elliott Bay Books. My mom bought me a paperback copy of The Handmaid’s Tale — I’ve been watching the TV show and it’s very disturbing, but she said I’d like the book. (She wants me to tell you that for school I also had to read Hiroshima and Take the Cannoli)

3:01 [Abby] Then the funniest thing happened. I had been looking forward to going to the iconic General Porpoise Doughnuts from the moment we booked our flights — we practically planned our entire Capitol Hill outing around it — but when we got there at 3:01, we tried to open the door and it was locked. It closed at 3:00! For about ten seconds we were all super disappointed but then, out of nowhere, an employee walks outside and asked “Does anyone want a dozen free doughnuts?” I guess they like everything to be fresh, so at the end of the day, they give away what hasn’t sold instead of selling them the next day. That might’ve been the highlight of the trip. And those doughnuts were some of the best I’ve ever had– the vanilla stuffed ones especially!!

4:00 [Jenny] We hadn’t planned on it, but we decided to hit Pike Place Market (because: of course!) on our way home to Ballard from Capitol Hill. We bought fruit and a lovely flower arrangement for our lovely hosts, but for the most part we just walked up and down the long hallways and gaped at the offerings. Maybe the most amazing part was that I got a parking spot on Pike Place right in the middle of everything (across from the flagship Starbucks.) I kept looking at the spot and looking at the sign saying This is too good to be true (once a New Yorker always a New Yorker, I guess) but it was actually true. Over a month later, I’m still on a high from it.

6:30 [Jenny] I know this is hard to believe, but we still had more to eat. I’ve written about this before, but the way Abby and I go about planning where we want to eat in a new city is completely different. I go to tried-and-true sources like Bon Appetit City Guides or Eater’s Heat Maps. She goes right to instagram, searches by locations, then studies the grid until a particularly inspiring pastry or bowl of ramen shows up. That is how she landed on Fremont Bowl where we went with Jenn’s family. Abby’s review: “Crazy good Japanese bowls, with fish, chicken teriyaki, and so much more. I’m not really a tofu fan, but according to my mom she had the best tofu she’d ever had in her life at this place. Fremont’s a fun area to walk around, too.” She’s totally right, the fried house-made tofu that our friend Maylie ordered was off-the-hook delicious. I was psyched because right next door was Book Larder, a store that specializes in cookbooks and community culinary events, but sadly they were closed for a private event. I guess that’s as good an excuse as any to return to Seattle in the very near future.

DAY 3: SATURDAY 9:00 [Abby] Mom, Jenn, and Jenn’s husband, Ben went for an early run around Green Lake Park (about a 3-mile loop she says) then we all gorged on Jenn’s now legendary Dutch Babies and plotted the day. Ben pointed us in the direction of the giant Asian Market Uwajimaya which was awesome (Oh, before that, Mom stopped for another cup of coffee at Anchored Ship in Ballard) but we ended up eating around the corner at at Dough Zone due to some intense soup dumpling cravings, aka the best food in the world. It’s a good thing my next soccer game wasn’t until 4:00 that afternoon. We pretty much rolled out of there. Those dumplings were amazing.

6:00 [Abby] After my soccer game (lost 2-1) we drove to Mulkiteo and caught a ferry to Whidbey Island, about 25 miles north of Seattle across the Puget Sound, where Jenn and Ben have the sweetest cabin. The ferry was only about 25 minutes, but involved spectacular views of islands and huge mountains in the distance.

7:30 We only had about 12 hours to hang on Whidbey, but we got a good taste of it, snacking on their porch (above), chilling out by the campfire for an epic sunset; Ben grilled some local salmon and hot dogs for dinner. The house only had two bedrooms so my mom and I got to sleep in a tent listening to the crackling campfire.

. Side Note [Jenny] Those of you who follow me on instagram might remember this photo. Jenn and Ben were torturing themselves trying to decide what color to paint the cabin — they were going for a dark Scandinavian cottage look — so I conducted an insta poll asking which combo you all liked. Most of you were in favor of the navy/white palette, the third one down. Last week, she sent me this pic:

How beautiful is that?!?!?! They went with Sherwin Williams Inkwell for the house and Benjamin Moore Oxford White for the trim.

DAY 4 SUNDAY

8:30 [Abby] We had an early afternoon plane to catch, so didn’t have a ton of time to explore, but we did manage to squeeze in a walk on the beach and a quick trip to Langley, where we ate eggs and cinnamon rolls at Useless Bay Coffee, then took a walk to a dramatic sandbar called Seawall Park. The town was so charming! From there was a convenient shuttle from Whidbey to the Seattle Airport, and we were on our way home.

Boy you fed us well, Seattle. We miss you so much!

Related: 36 Hours in Austin; 36 Hours in Portland, Maine; 48 Hours in Montreal.

Source: http://www.dinneralovestory.com/72-hours-in-seattle/

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protierras · 5 years

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lindoig · 7 years

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Days 24 and 25

We have a routine of sorts most days when we are travelling in the van. We are usually awake before 7am, but late to rise after knocking off a few Killer Sudokus each morning – if we don’t have an early start planned. If we have some sort of excursion planned, we normally get breakfast over and all the chores done and get away by about 10am. Very often we don’t return until 5 or 6pm - just in time for our Happy Hour (that often exceeds the prescribed duration). Most nights we roll into bed soon after (a usually latish) dinner and watch a video. We are almost finished the complete ‘Vera’ series at present (and our current book of Sudokus!) so will have to start something new when we return from our Venture North Tour. It is a life I think we could enjoy for quite a while without getting overly-bored.

Saturday was spent totally in the caravan park – we didn’t go out at all. We did all the housework – washing and ironing (we don’t iron – all our clothes are iron-resistant), sweeping, cleaning, dishes, tidying – and packing for our Cobourg Peninsula adventure next week. We will be completely off the grid all week – no phone or internet – and no blog until after we get back. We spent a lot of the day updating our blogs and catching up on emails and other paperwork – pausing only infrequently (not too infrequently) to indulge our appetites for food and drink.

Sunday, we were up reasonably early. We went on the Red Bus – the Hop On Hop Off service that does a big loop past most of the special attractions around Darwin. We usually look for these buses whenever we visit big cities (Sydney, Moscow, Barcelona…..). They are a good way to get an overview of the city and they help us decide what attractions need more time. We went down to the Museum stop to start the tour today because that is apparently the only convenient all-day free parking and then did the 70-minute circuit arriving back at the Museum in time for a well-earned lunch at their Cornucopia Café. The Museum and Art Gallery itself is really interesting, with specific areas for a range of different displays – one gallery for each of contemporary Australian art, indigenous art, a recent student art competition (some really good stuff!), Cyclone Tracy (3-4 rooms), an excellent Natural History area covering some evolutionary transitions from earliest pre-historic times until today, a really great maritime display of a couple of dozen marine craft, many with historical significance for northern Australia – and the usual kids Discovery Area, shop, Café and so on.

It was hot and we were tired after walking around the museum and galleries, so after our lunch, instead of hopping back on the bus, we just headed for home, doing a little last minute grocery shopping for the coming week’s trip on the way. We also did another little detour before we arrived home – we went to the end of the road past the caravan park down to the Lee Point Marine Reserve and then around to Buffalo Creek at the end of another road a couple of kilometres further along the coast. I spied a few birds there and we did a short, hot walk to a bird hide. (We saw nothing there so I concluded that as a bird hide, it was very effective in hiding birds.) I had seen some waders a bit further along, but Heather needed to get back to the van so I dropped her back and returned to Buffalo Creek to suss out the waders a bit more closely. They weren’t anything we hadn’t seen before, but it added three more species to our NT trip list.

We are really looking forward to this coming week. We get picked up at 6.45am tomorrow and will spend most of the day in the Kakadu NP, including a birding cruise at Corroboree Falls and staying at Jabiru overnight. Then it is off to the extreme north of Arnhem Land and the Cobourg Peninsula. It sounds like a lot of fun, a real outback adventure without too much privation – mozzie-proof tents, outdoor eating, catching some of our own tucker (mud crabs, fish, etc.) and learning more about aboriginal culture and their traditional way of life. There are only 6 of us on the tour and it is done in a 7-seater Landcruiser 200, similar to ours, but one step up the luxury ladder – the Sahara.

We will be about as easy to contact as if we were on Mars during the week, but we get back to Darwin on Friday evening so maybe I will have some stories to tell I my next blog-post or two in about a weeks’ time.

Can you wait that long? Who knows, now that I have figured out how, I might even include a photo or two to stimulate your senses.

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flossinginthesunshine · 7 years

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From Chapati to Sticky Rice

People who have spent considerable time in India have repeated to us time and time again the same line, “India will change you.” And to neither of our surprises, this turned out to be the case. Here are few examples:

We learned quickly that every day would be a challenge, and that nothing can be taken for granted in India. Getting from A-B, finding a restaurant, finding a pharmacy, finding a bathroom, heck even walking next to each other in a crowd can be tough in Delhi. Travelling here forces you to maintain a calm and composed state of mind even in the most trying of situations. Given that timetables and stated schedules are meaningless, letting yourself get flustered at the first hiccup can be a trip ruiner.

True Statement: If you can travel in India, you can travel anywhere in the world.

We experienced sensory overload pretty much every day. I’ve never been in a place that had so many smells, sights and sounds ricocheting off each other at all hours. While we continuously felt overwhelmed by this, we soon learned to appreciate the vibrancy of the everyday chaotic routine of India.

Living healthy is incredibly easy to do when you put yourself in a healthy environment. For two months we didn’t eat meat, rarely drank alcohol and didn’t consume dairy. Restaurants aren’t marketed as “vegan” or “farm to table”... they just are. We found ourselves sleeping incredibly well, practicing yoga nearly every day and reading more than we ever had in our lives. There is a reason that India is the yoga and meditation capital of the world… it is the perfect cure for the everyday chaos of living in such a country. Our New Year's resolutions are to continue this healthy lifestyle as we continue our travels and re-enter the “real world” in April.

India constantly reminded us that the best way to get our questions answered was by talking to other people. Finding information online, if it exists at all, is often outdated and incorrect. The blogs we were reading tended to be 3-4 years old, and many of the restaurants/attractions we went out looking for had inaccurate pins on Google Maps. Instead of burying our heads in our iPhones, we were reminded of the old fashioned way of asking for help. Human-to-human interaction, to no surprise, was our lifeline when we were lost or confused (which was often). Locals were more than willing to point us in the right direction after we showed them a restaurant/guest house on on phone, and a few times they even walked us where we needed to go (without asking for anything in return) just to make sure we didn’t get lost.

Most important of all: trust your gut. If you don’t like a guesthouse, leave. If you don’t trust a taxi driver, look for another. If a menu looks questionable, the food is probably also questionable & you should keep searching. Letting your gut and intuition guide the way is the only way to survive long term travel in India. Decisions should be made from the heart and from the gut, not because a guidebook says something or Trip Advisor suggests it. The best way to experience India is through an open mind and flexible schedule. Things will go wrong, and your ability to roll with it will make or break your trip.

When we get asked about out two months in India we speak in incredibly fond and honest terms. We say “It’s crazy. You should go. You need to go. If you are able to slow down & let things happen how they may, travelling in India will simultaneously astonish you, startle you, and ultimately, change you.”

See you later India!

And just like that… exactly two months from the day we landed in Ft. Cochin, India, we hit the road for Chiang Mai, Thailand! Our 21 hour travel day looked something like this:

Alarm goes off at at 2:30, 2:35 & 2:40am in Delhi 3am taxi from Delhi guesthouse to Delhi airport 6am flight from Delhi to Calcutta 4 hour layover in Calcutta 2pm flight from Calcutta to Bangkok 8pm flight Bangkok to Chiang Mai 20 minute taxi from airport to guesthouse Bed at 11pm

^^ That is a cricket :)

From the moment we were dropped off in front of our guesthouse in Chiang Mai, we were struck by the silence that surrounded us. People weren’t honking their horns, dogs weren’t barking, construction wasn’t being done on every corner… we could even walk side by side without the fear of being run off the road. Compared to Delhi, Chiang Mai felt more like Disney World than the second biggest city in Thailand. It was refreshingly eerie.

Chiang Mai is the capital of Northern Thailand, and one of the most popular tourist destinations in the country. The charming “Old City” is a one-mile by one-mile grid, surrounded by a picturesque moat dating back to 1292. Buildings don’t rise above three stories, and there are cafes on every corner with reliably fast wifi. The developed, yet chilled out vibe of the city is what makes it one of the most frequented destinations for digital nomads and expats to settle in.

We spent our days exploring the city by pedal bike, and our nights eating street food at the market and listening to live jazz at a bar down the road from our guesthouse.

I ran a few times while in India, specifically in Goa, but gave up after being chased by dogs on more than one occasion. In Thailand I was able to run again, with the boundaries of the Old City creating a perfect four mile running path.

One afternoon we ventured into to the beautiful countryside for a traditional Thai cooking course. We arrived at an organic farm 30 minutes from Chaing Mai, and promptly went to work pounding green curry paste, stir-frying pad thai and chopping ingredients for papaya salad. After these dishes were cooked and eaten, we escaped to a set of hammocks overlooking rice paddies to sleep off our meal. An hour later, we were awoken by the chef to begin cooking our second round of food: fresh spring rolls and mango sticky rice. It was a successfully glutenous day.

7-Eleven's are on every corner in Thailand and are the perfect place to escape the heat (the AC is always on full blast). You can find everything from soy chocolate milk to fresh mango, and even pay for bus tickets at the checkout counter. Even the most run down 7-Eleven in Thailand is more helpful than most of our hostels were in India.

Almost equal to the number of 7-Elevens in Chiang Mai are the number of Thai massage parlors. In an effort to discern the quality establishments from the ones looking to prey on backpackers, we followed the suggestion of our guesthouse owners and went to their favorite place. A Thai massage is more in line with a 60 minute full body stretch session than a traditional western relaxation massage, which is why they get mixed reviews from travelers. The masseuse takes full advantage of their feet, legs, elbows and forearms in their attempt to stretch and contort our bodies into once thought impossible positions… and we loved it. At $6 USD for a full hour, it is no surprise that I returned a few days later for a follow up.

One afternoon we took out 40-year-old rented bikes and ventured to the only public park in the Old City. To our delight, the park was in pristine condition and full of westerners doing acro yoga, tai chi, and slacklining. We spent the next few hours doing yoga, reiki, reading, napping and admiring the acrobatics going on around us.

I’ve been getting beard trims throughout our time abroad, but the time had come for a proper haircut. We asked our guesthouse for a recommendation, and after showing us on the map where the nearest place is, they warned us not to go after 5pm because that’s when the barbers start drinking. It was 7pm... and we decided to give it a go anyway. When we showed up the whole family was having a big feast outside the parlor, complete with several bottles of alcohol scattered on the tables. They greeted us with big smiles and welcoming “Sawadees” (hello in Thai), and we asked, “Haircut?” A woman who looked like she hadn’t been drinking (too much) jumped up and led us inside. She threw a towel over my shoulders, we exchanged less than 10 words about what I wanted, and she started clipping away. Twenty minutes later, I had a fresh haircut and beard trim. If she had been drinking, she hid it well.

Once a quiet and somewhat remote town in Northern Thailand, Pai is now properly on the backpacker trail in SE Asia and can easily be accessed from Chiang Mai by a 4 hour minivan ride than includes 762 turns (they sell shirts in Pai say “I survived the 762 turns to Pai”). Once you make it through the harrowing journey, you are greeted by a delightful town full of vegan restaurants, reggae bars & backpacker bungalows. Pai tends to get a bad rap from old timers and long term travellers because of how rapidly it has changed over the last 10 years, but to us it was an oasis. The resort -- yes we stayed at a “resort” -- where we spent the week was 12 dollars a night for a private bungalow, which included a fabulous free yoga class each morning along with free breakfast.

We hiked one afternoon with our new friends from Auckland to a waterfall just outside of town. Per a few blogs online, we learned that a dog often serves as a tour guide on this particular hike. 15-minutes into the hike, a gorgeous pup strolls out of the woods and joins our ranks. For the next three hours Winston (as we named him) guided us through two dozen river crossings and patiently waited as we took photos at the waterfall. When we were ready to turn around and head home, Winston once again took the lead and showed us the way. Thanks for everything, Winston!

In Pai we went to the 12th Annual Pai Reggae Music Festival. Their were ads all over town highlighting the event, saying the festival was on Saturday and Sunday, started at mid-day and was located on the grounds of a specific hotel just outside of town. We popped the hotel name in Google Maps, saw it was a few mile walk from our place, and opted out of taking a taxi. After a 2.5 mile walk in the hills we made it to the festival!

Just kidding. Google Maps was wrong. We were nowhere near the reggae fest. We headed back into town, and ended up teaming up with other lost souls who were also searching for this mystical festival.

After another 2 miles, we finally made it! It was 4pm, and we soon learned that the festival didn’t start until 7pm. Our first question to ticket counter… “Why does your poster say mid-day?” Their response was, “Great question.”

We headed to the nearest restaurant to grab a beer, and found out that the entire restaurant was full of festival goers who also showed up too early and were now killing time playing cards, drinking beer and swapping travel tales.

We returned at 7pm with a whole crew of new friends, and boogied until midnight. Who doesn’t love Thai men singing in English with a Rasta accent? We sure did.

Camryn found a picture on Instagram a few weeks ago of a gorgeous sunrise in an obscure corner of Northeast Thailand that we hadn’t read about in any of our guide books. We asked a few people if they had heard of this magical place called Phu Chi Fa, and no one recognized the name. Immediately, we were intrigued. After two weeks in Chiang Mai and Pai, we were craving an off-the-beaten-track adventure. We got it, no doubt.

After a quick Google search, we read a few blog posts from travellers (dating back 4-5 years) saying that this town was their favorite in all of Thailand and not be missed. Details on getting there were hard to come by, as some said they took a bus there… others said the bus was no longer running and were forced to rent a motorcycle... some hired a private taxi. We chanced it on faith, and showed up at the bus station in Chiang Rai looking wide eyed for a sign saying Phu Chi Fa. And we found it :)

After a casual 3 hour bus ride, we were dropped off in front of a police station in a tiny village that only exists so people can visit the Phu Chi Fa mountain at sunrise. We read online that English is not spoken here, so we were all prepped and ready to use our hand signals and phone calculator to aid in bargaining. After a 15-minute walk down the only street, we found a gem of a guesthouse. We dropped our bags, ate a forgettable meal at a roadside restaurant by pointing at pictures of food on the wall, and went to bed early. Tomorrow’s adventure would come in only a few hours.

Our phone alarms greeted us at 3:30, 3:35, 3:40 and 3:45 am. We were out the door at 4am heading back to the police station to catch a songthaew (like a pickup truck with benches in the back) to take us halfway up the mountain. We were dropped within a 30 minute hike up to the top of Phu Chi Fa mountain, which we eagerly scampered up by headlamp with all of our warm clothes on.

We were one of the first to the top, however within the hour nearly 300 Thai tourists joined us. Not another westerner in sight, to our delight.

Trying to describe the sunrise would do its beauty a disservice, so I’ll just leave you with the pictures.

After a few hours enjoying the sunrise, we were back in front of the police station eating banana pancakes waiting for our bus to depart at 9am. Our next destination was Chiang Khong, a city on the border between Thailand and Laos. We arrived at our guesthouse in Chiang Khong and expected our $6USD a night room to be somewhat of a dump, and planned on heading into Laos the next morning. To our surprise, we were greeted by a gorgeous pool and fast wi-fi. Needless to say, we stayed two nights and spent a full day relaxing poolside. Treat yourself, right?

You’ll hear all about Laos in our next post by Cam. Thanks for reading!

Best, JJ

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