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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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Jake Reviews Amphibia: Handy Anne and Fort in the Road

It’s finally here... the second time i’ve said that in three days but hey, Amphibia is back! After a years hiatus due to the show being shoved out in a month to get it on disney plus faster (Yet they STILL don’t have wonder over yonder so I can finally watch season 2. God damn. ), one of the best new shows of a year stuffed with them is back! I was excited about this one from the start. A great premise, a gravity falls pedegriee, and the wonderful Brenda Song, who I had a crush on when I was younger despite not really watching the first suite life that much, though I will admit what I saw was pretty decent and had a wonderful cast especially song and Phil Morris as Mr.Mosby.. it was just overshadowed by i’ts two leads being really sterotypical (the cool but dumb hustler and the stick in the mud nerd) and I was more of a nick middle schooler anyway so I barely touched it. Granted if I could go back in time and trade which shows I watched i’d trade it for Zoey 101 in a heartbeat, another show with awful leads but the rest of the main cast was really good concidentally.

Anyways I did watch more of on deck to kill time and absolutley hated it. Seroiulsy the show really sucks: Zack and Cody were turned into basically worse versions of Zack Morris and Ross Gellar, worse because while their just as douchey as those two, Mark Paul Gossler and David Schiwmer can actually act and Cole Sprouse could not yet. I do say yet since Cole Sprouse has grown because he wasn’t half bad in the one season of riverdale I watched. Riverdale, what happens when you have the entire writers room snort a line of coke and then tell them to write the most insane archie fanfiction they can and stitch the results together. Just with Archie alone from what i’ve seen in read he’s started a vigilante posse ala homer simpson, nearly joined hte mafia, been framed form murder, had the local cheerleaders do a number for him while he played prison football, escaped prison to hide in canda from both his former mafia boss whose also his girlfriend’s dad and the cult based on a DnD knockoff, got mauled by a bear and LIVED, and now is a superhero apparently. WHy I haven’t gone back to at the very least review this clusterfuck is a mystery. But the point is the twins were really terrible at the time, and if the fact Dylan’s only major role recently is in the sequel to After, that film based on self insert one direction fanfiction, which somehow got a sequel while Birds of Prey probably won’t because god really does hate me. So it was bad and she deserved better, got better with the social network but hadn’t done much i’d seen, so a new cartoon starting her in her elment and in a great show for once had me pumped. And.. my faith paid off. The show is beautifully animated, ahs a wonderfully morbid and fully fleshed out world, top notch voice acting (including BIll Farmer who is so unreconizable as hop pop I thought he was voiced by charlie addler), great jokes, action and storytelling. Just a slam dunk that left be jonesning for me. And now in one of the best weeks for animation in a while, more is here. I do mean that: 3/4 of disney’s major animated shows returning and close enough finally airing it’s a good time. When we last left our heroes: Hop Pop buired the box that brought anne there and lied to her about it which even a year later I think is a terrible decision.. one made for understandable reasons as he clearly knows something more about it than she does, but one that’s bound ot backfire whens he finds out her new grandpa lied to her and betrayed her. The plantars also spent the season preparing to leave wartwood. Soon after, Anne was forced to finally stand up to her manipulative, if to my utter shock still caring about her and possibly being into her? I mean it’s not like I haven’t seen the “villian whose overcompensating for a terrible past and likes manipualting people redeemed and ending up smooching the somewhat reckless but good hearted heroine” before.

Anyways Sasha ends up nearly falling off a giant tower, Anne tries to save her, with the rest of her new family pitching in, and Sasha, realizing just how terrible she’s been just.. let’s her self fall, only saved because Grime caught her. And just remembering that sequence god dman.. the fact they actually got the rights to lean on me for it really dosen’t help. But the day was saved and while Anne had a huge bundle of trauma, the family was ready to finally set out soon. And now a year later i’ts time. Now i’ve gotten all the personal stuff out of the way, let’s hop to it and see what the new season has to offer. Full review with spoilers under the cut!

Handy Anne

So the Plantars are finally setting off. We don’t touch on the Sasha thing much, just a quick bit at the begining to show that while Anne is insiting she’s fine it really traumatized her. I do like kids shows starting to show more that sometimes heroes just DON’T bounce back after something like this, especially young ones. While it’ isn’t nearly to the extent of Steven Universe spending an entire season having his lack of thearpy and unresolved issues slowly destroy him, it’s still nice to see. But the main thrust of the episode is it’s vacation time brother!

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Yup after a few episodes of build up last season with the valley clear, Hop Pop has bought a suprisingly nice and affordable wagon (As Polly excitedly explains someone died in it) so they can finally set out to hopefully find Anne a way home. Their going to Oregon! I mean To newtopia, the beating heart of Amphibia: a bustling metroplis built on knowledge where they can hopefully find a way to get Anne and friends back home, while Anne hopes to find Marcy. The rest of the kids are also excited just to get out of the valley for the first time. Everyone’s pumped.. but Anne starts to worry when she finds out Hop Pop has asked his friend Chuck, the “I grow tulips” guy from the bug ball episode last season who I forgot about but was reminded why I love him and am glad to have him back, to watch the house as given Amphibia is hard enough to surivive on a good day, let alone if your a stationary building. And Chuck dosen’t insprie confidence so Anne decides to fortify the house. And her reasoning.. is actually really sweet and shows how much she’s grown: Instead of like most times where her impulsivness is the reason shenanigans and life thretaning situations happen here.. she’s hit with the hard relization her new family is basically risking everything, their home, their farm, their chuck, to help her get home.

So Anne decides to armor up the house, getting a fuck ton of shovels and a ton of suplies from the blacksmith guy who suprisngly for once DOES have what she needs for her veggies, to the point his not backtracking weirds anne out, and gives her a tub of goo. This can only end well! Meanwile the rest of the family pack. Polly having maybe 3 possesions gets done quick, Hop Pop is being anal reteitive as always with his ascots (hilariously done and Bill Farmer really is the MVP of this series), while Sprig’s gone half insane just picking out which slingshot to take as he never left, which polly of course exploits. But things natrually go wrong as the goo creates veggie monsters the family fights (with sprig even calling fight time because this is normal to them at this point) the next mornign and then one colosus that destroys the house... and Anne’s anger and heartbreak over it .. awakens something. See something I hadn’t heard about and didn’t notice at the ebgining of the series was anne’s eyes flashing blue while fighting the mantis in the first episode. Many couldn’t tell if it was leading somewhere or just an animation error. Here though her eyes go bright blue in close up with it being clear this is part of her.. the question what is it and why? Just what power does she have now? And will it save the world or destroy it? Questions for later Anne saves the day, an admits she screwed up but Hop Pop is understanding: He’s touched by her actions but also explains their not just doing this for her: their with her all the way and any sacrifice is worth it. And I like that part of hop pop: while he can be overbearing, just see next episode.. he does genuinely mean well and has genuine wisdom, something they sometimes forget with grandparent characters in animation. He’s crotchety and a stick in the mud, but he’s still throughly nice and understanding and it shows here: He’s going to get his daughter back whatever it takes.. almost. Hop Pop calls on chuck who in a whilrwind of tools and tulips fixes the place.. and proves to be every bit the legend I thought him. He sells tulips and he’s great. We’ll miss you chuck. But as they get ready to leave Anne brings up the box and Hop Pop, remembering what he did, hastily says it’s better with their contacts. WHich again just seems short sided: while he is trying to protect her, especially since next episode confirms there was some sort of apocalypse once so odds are her being connected to it might not be the best, he can’t dance around her connection to it forever, and hiding the fact some apolcaypse was caused by it is only going to backfire when some vilian reveals it or anne finds it out for herself. Taking her to a place full of infomration where he’ll now have to work to hide the truth is just asking for this to backfire. Not bringing it is one thing, dangerous people could still get the box and use it for their own ends.. we’ve seen female newt sabertooth in the promos and we’ve met Grime. But not telling her is just setitng himself up for a big and deeserved fall soon. But with that settled our heroes set out!

Final Thoughts I: Overall this was a good start to the season: my one real complaint is the town didn’t really see them off or anything, so the large and loveable supporting cast is just.. absent unless the series returns to wartwood at some point and it would’ve been nice to see them once last time. Even star vs, as bad as season 3 was, knew we wouldn’t be seeing most of the earth cast for a whie and had marco have a meaningful sendoff before he left. But.. given how tight the phacing seems to be this season judging by episode titles alone, and they only had 11 minutes here. I do think it could’ve been in hte next episode, but it dosen’t ruin a decent, fun start to the season really rooted in character stuff. Not the series finest 11 minutes, but still really good and a good way to start us off.

Fort in the Road:

First off your welcome for that episode screencap. Now this one’s also simple, but ends up having a rather sizeable revelation nestled inside. The Plantars are going down the road and while the kids want to you know explore, see places, actually enjoy the trip especailly since Sprig and Polly have never been anywhere else before, Hop Pop, being hop pop, instead just wants them to sit and be quite and follow his rules. I mean it is hte grind but you can at least make it FUN for htem; Just look at this guy.

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It took an episode longer than I thought to refrence the trail to oregon given this season is about a wagon trip, but I’m glad to do it .. and do it again. I will fit pays to be an animal in here somewhere I swear it. WE’ve got time left in the road trip. Anyways this goes down terribly, though some rules like not posing dramatically as it smacks of hubris and never ends well. But understandably the kids are annoyed about it: Anne can’t even compallin because i’ts not in the rules. So naturally as Hop Pop should’ve seen coming at the first opprotuunity Anne fakes being cart sick and they run off to see a weird looking ruin with Hop Pop chasing them and leaving the cart to polly because that can’t end well but he’s on a short time. And this is where the season drops a 10 ton atomic bombshell. Anne being kinda magic in the last episode and it being fully part of things now is intresting and shocking.. but this is miles ahead of it and casts Hop Pop’s actions: Turns out whatever the clamamity box did set techniology in amphibia back to a little above the dark ages. I mean they have full light thanks to lightning bugs, but their still leagues behind.. but were once up to at least mid 2000′s levels of technology. The machine seen requires a disk to stop, but it’s still far beyond what I expcted from this world. Naturally Hop Pop shows up furious, then gets stuck on the assembly line with the kids deseprate to save him, with spirg ending up doing sow ith the rule book. Also we get Anne’s wonderful repsonse to Sprig asking what a disk is: “I don’t know! i’m from another dimension not the 90s!” They surivive, the factory blows up and the kids apologize and agree to go back to the boring way things have been going.. but Hop Pop thankfully realizes he’s been a bit overbearing and actually gives a good reason why: He’s never taken then out of the valley before and simply got overprotective. This is his family after all, all he has left of his kid and all he really has left beside Sylvia and the farm. It’s understandble he’d go a bit overboard. But Hop Pop decides to compromise a bit in a nice moment: while the impalment fields are obviously a non starter, he does get the kids ice cream (Anne even admits at this point she dosen’t pick the bugs out anymore), and they genuinely enjoy the trip while Sprig (in a hilarious bit of lampshadng as he does it repeadtly) wonders jsut what they were making.. and as I spoiled it was robots.. one of whom is now following them. Wether this means new doom or the plantars getting a new robot family member I don’t know i’m hoping for the latter. Everyone needs a vision in their life. Final thoughts II: While having a bit of an obvious conflict with an obvious resolution the character work combined with the MASSIVE plot bombshell really make this enjoyable and I hope to find out more about just what the hell happened and what these robots are for. Just another good solid episode and an excellent duo to start the season. Next week: Things take a turn for the western and Anne learns to hunt and more about the glow. And with the glow you need to grow to glow... until then i’ll likely have mor ereviews on this channel, I recently reveiwed all of season 1 of close enough if your curious, and until next time.. play us out Willie!

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I love what i’ve seen of this throughly stupid movie. Bye ya’ll!

#amphibia #handy anne #fort in the road #season 2 #brenda song #bill farmer #the suite life on deck #disney channel #disney xd #disney plus #anne boonchuy #hopidiah planter #sprig planter #polly planter #sasha #lord grime

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jq37 · 5 years

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oh my GOD the new ep!!!! like!!!!!!!!! SO MUCH happened but then also the preview for the next ep looks SO GOOD

**spoilers for first kisses and last words**

Hoo boy this was, as I predicted, a BIG one. Not that I needed to be an oracle to figure that out since there’s only a few eps left but man did it deliver.

I still think that Cool Kids, Cold Case had the most off the wall nonsense happening in the shortest period of time but this ep I think was overall the most consistently wild ep.

So let’s take it from the top.

I think I forgot to mention it before but Adaine’s, “I go into a rage,” hardcore cracked me up.

“I have hold person.”/”I stuff a sock in her mouth.” Insult to injury Adaine.

The entire group dunking on Aelwen, forgetting that Riz is literally bleeding out, half dead.

“sausage festival”

Adaine really was dead serious about her snitching threat huh?

Ally miming a boom mic.

I love how everyone including Siobhan mess up Aelwen’s name or mix it up with Adaine’s half the time.

And speaking of, wow. What a rise and fall for her in 3 eps (and about an hour in game time). She’s queen of the nerds. She’s not even cool at her own school. And terrified of whoever she made whatever shady deal with. I know she literally tried to kill the whole party last ep and that she’s the worst but I almost feel for her.

Almost.

“This is not on you. This is on the world within which you inhabit.”

I love Adaine’s semi-indigent, “We’re not going to kill you,” because Alwen was 100% ready to murder them which, side note, imagine how much on an international incident that would have been.

Lol at the group tag team bullying Aelwen about going to Mumple and Adaine using her magic jacket for super petty BS.

“Hey mom!”/”GodDAMMIT honey.”

The parent/kid relationships are so good in this show.

Everyone but Kristen parkouring off the roof when Sklonda specifically set up a ladder.

“The put a girl in a palimpsest,” followed immediately by, “She went to a party,” as if those are on the same level.

Sklonda Gukgak DUNKING Aelwen into the squad car with a technical assist from Adaine. I knew she was gonna be my fave parent from her intro scene and I love her even more than I thought.

“With all due respect, (A/N: Which is none), suck my dick, fuck you.”

“She tried to murder me.”/”BE THAT AS IT IS.”

“Eh, you carry a gun.”

“No one who’s detecting maidens is a maiden.”

I feel like I’m quoting a lot today but there were so many money lines this episode.

Everyone always loses it when Brennan starts doing the Identify spell voice and I love it.

Adaine’s dad is T R A S H

Adaine’s mom on the other hand…I’ve been wondering about her for a little while because usually the outright emotional abuse has been from her dad while her mom is either not there or not saying anything. So I’ve been wondering was her deal is and we finally got the start of an answer. I know we only have a few eps left but I hope we go a little deeper into what exactly is going on there. It seems like Adaine’s parents are gonna be a big factor in whatever endgame is planned so fingers crossed,

Everyone cracking up as Emily backs Fig into a corner talking to Penelope.

I love Gorgug so freaking much. Just his good natured, lumbering self. EVery time Zac opens his mouth gold falls out.

Emily MAXED out her deception huh?

I think Siobhan must have forgotten that she took the crystal with Ostentasia away from Aelwen at the end of last ep. Either that or they willingly gave it to the cops and I forgot (but I think it’s the former because she said in this ep that it was in Aelwen’s pocket when at the end of the last ep she def took it).

My autocorrect keeps wanting me to type Ellen for Aelwen. I WISH.

I knew it! He’s a PIRATE. Suck it Fabian. (lol at Adaine stirring the pot. That was like Adaine being sincerely polite and Siobhan trying to cause problems and I love mixed motive player/character decisions).

I wonder if the banker is named after John Hughes.

I can’t believe the dumb bank is actually a huge plot point.

Yikes, re: Bill and Fabian. That got tense. Though I’ve kinda been waiting for some kind of blowout for a while. His dad runs very hot and cold and I figured it would only be a matter of time before we saw some of the cold.

Also, Lou breaking character in the middle of that very intense moment to clarify a plot point.

Sidenote: For a hot sec after reading the title of the ep and remembering how Sklonda is competent to the point of (probably) breaking the original plot, I was so concerned she was gonna eat it this ep. So glad she didn’t.

Anyway, the idea of swinging sadly on a rope is so freaking funny.

Fig: Can I offer you a sad song in this trying time?

Huge portrait of Bill Seacaster in Fabian’s room.

Adaine is gonna bring up him kissing her sister very time she needs to get out of something w/ Fabian for the rest of her immortal life.

Another sidenote: This is a little thing but I always think it’s interesting when fantasy worlds have the same months and days as us when they’re named after like Norse Gods and Roman statesmen that wouldn’t exist in their world. Same with Roman numerals and Irish coffee.

“Am I allowed to smoke in here?”/”Of course.”

I really like the character detail that Adaine is always really polite to everyone, including/especially people like Fabian’s maid and Basrar. People that she wouldn’t necessarily “have to” be polite to, you know? It’s like she’s trying to make up for the fact that her family is a bag of dicks.

“Fantasy Google”

The whole bit with Fabian’s porn stash was so good. This group is so good w/ yes-adning each other.

“Privateer me a new one.” Emily is so good.

“Special investment” Suspicious

I was thinking “I can’t believe looking at a bank’s FAQs is part of this game,” right as Brennan said it.

So I went back and watched Siobhan’s face from when Emily first mentioned Kal Vaxis to when she got the connection to KVX and it took her 22 seconds. I also missed the quick cut to Brennan when Gorgug asks, “What is Kal Vaxis,” and you can tell he knows they’re so close to breaking it with the little grin on his face. I wish we had gotten a reaction shot right after she got it. Anyway, great team solve w/ the MVP trophy to Siobhan/Adaine.

I loved when Zac, Emily, and Siobhan all whipped out their laminated maps in tandem to figure out what was happening.

The hard mood change from Adaine dropping the bomb about Riz’s dad and to forming a committee to help Gorgug flirt with Zelda was wild.

Kristen telling anyone to be suave is hysterical.

What a DISASTER of a committee Gorgug’s friends are. Well meaning but so trash

Fig: Tell her you got a SICK tattoo

Adaine: Bring her to see art in the middle of the night

Fabian: You cannot date this person (Kristen: You absolutely have to)

Kristen: Actually not garbage advice but she is in no position to be giving dating advice to anyone

Riz: Having a literal existential crisis

“Who else is he gonna date?” WOW, savage Adaine.

I meant to say this before but I love how Adaine’s go-to is immediately ice cream and she’s always on board to go to Basrar’s. Like how when she texted everyone 2 eps ago she was like, “Let’s get ice cream now.”

Mmm, don’t love that Gorthalax isn’t answering his phone. I have been waiting for a significant adult to die for a while now.

OK, look, the whole thing about Penelope and Dayne being eternal prom king/queen. Is it wild? Yes. Is it implausible? No. No it’s not. Even Murph, most veteran player, was kind of like, “Wait, does that make sense?” Because, in this setting, it kind of would? I’m not sure it fits within the story so far and I’d have to go back and listen to the more lore-y stuff again but the conceit itself is like the exact right amount of crazy to fit in this setting? And they never cut to Brennan like I wanted so I could judge his face for any kind of tell. But anyway, you guys know I’ve been predicting a prom finale and this would fit right into a prom finale.

The girls giving Gorgug a pep talk before his date was ADORABLE.

Gorgug having to check his phone to remember three words, “You look nice.”

“Your friends are popular and loud” True

Zelda’s a BARBARIAN! She’s a MEGA BARBARIAN!

I know they mean ecstasy like intense emotion but I kept thinking, like, molly.

Hmm, so Penelope wanted to know if Zelda had hooked up w/ Gorgug, ie: if she was a maiden. Can they only palimpsest maidens? Or (as we will get to later) does nice guy Biz only want virginal maidens for his creepy reverse Weird Science arcade setup?

Zelda listing off every type of metal and then Gorgug’s, “Same stuff,” was perfect comic timing on Zac’s part.

Imagine the Hangman screaming down the road on fire, Zelda completely terrified.

I love the Hangman so freaking much.

“DO NOT GIVE TREATS TO MY MOTORCYCLE.”

I can’t believe everyone is living at the freaking crappy apartments. I knew they were all gonna end up hanging at one persons’ house but I kinda figured it would be Fabian’s house or Gorgug’s house.

I”m also concerned about Bill. I feel like we keep getting reminded that he’s mortal a LOT.

Did Gorgug’s parents have indoor fireworks on tap for Gorgug’s first date?

Oh my God the whole docking conversation. Never play chicken with Brennan because the dude will not blink.

“We didn’t do that.” That’s his other best comic timing moment of the ep.

“Polishing my axe”

Kristen this episode

I really wish they’d made the roll to find Ragh later in the ep. Fig is so ride or die for Gilear now and I love it.

“I fall asleep.”

Adaine almost making her parents dunk on Gilear but then pulling back.

But also, Adaine and Gilear going off the the oracle together.

“Fig pack it in.”

Affirmations with Fig and Gilear.

Fig, do you really think platonically cuddling with Kristen is the move?

Riz setting himself up for a dramatic entrance is so fantastic.

Hmm, so Biz and Zayne were attacked at the same time. That’s why that cold pill detail was in there way back. I’ve been trying to figure out what was always planned and what was quick re-working but Brennan is so good I can never really tell.

Are multiple unrelated groups just getting into palimpsests at the same time? Or mostly unrelated groups tied to one person?

“We are not gonna get our security deposit back.”

RIZ’S DAD IS JAMES BOND! YES! I didn’t know I wanted that to be the case until it happened and now that’s the only acceptable option.

Riz didn’t get the 20′s he needed when fighting Aelwen but man he got it at the best story moment this week.

Oh man that home movie

The pearl is grey. Interesting.

“Mom our family is so awesome Mom we’re all so badass, I thought it was just us but Dad is awesome too, why didn’t you tell me Mom?”

Sklonda: Internally screaming.

Man he went full Inigo Montoya.

“I’ve got nimble escape so…”

“I guess we have a two bedroom,” I think was a really underrated funny line.

Did Riz ever tell his mom about the time of death thing.

Everyone inundating Gilear with overlapping chatter.

lol the Hangman likes Zelda’s family

Ally’s panicked, “FUCK” is always hilarious.

Why are all the adults in Gorgug’s life trying to get him laid?

OK so the elementals were conjured by Aelwn’s magic Brennan said. He said by Aelwen’s magic, not by Aelwen. I wonder if that turn of phrase was specific or arbitrary. Like, we were told where Aelwen is but we don’t know. Was she forced to do it (either by threat or by magic)? Clearly someone (Biz?) is pulling her strings to at least some degree.

“It’s probably about marriage.” “WAR HAS BEEN DECLARED.”

That happened fast

Fun fact from my International Law class: When a government kidnaps someone, it’s called rendition.

“There’s a war, fuck school.”

Yeah it is wild that Adaine’s parents didn’t call her.

OK so did the Elves get Aelwen back but also go, “But you still need to go to jail.” Because they cut Brennan off before the end of that sentence which might have had more clues in it.

“I text my mom k”

I also wanna know who gave Kristen a slushy marg (It’s war times. I bet things are looser now)

Murph’s face when Brennan said, “Lucky Stones” was so good. That was so Riz.

S/O to Ally for pre-casting Guardian of Faith. Good instinct.

AHHHHHH BIZ

As I said in an earlier conversation s/o to Adaine for DUNKING on him at every opportunity because he DESERVED IT. Also, her instincts for who sucks in this game have been spot on.

Another s/o to Riz for having the presence of mind to not pull a Star Lord and to pretend to be on the bad dude’s side for long enough to gain some kind of upper hand.

OK, wow was not expecting that twist. I feel like I need to go back and rewatch some stuff to get a better handle of the timeline and stuff. Like, when exactly did the girls start going missing again? And what year is Biz? Has he been masterminding this whole thing? I feel like no but I feel like he’s masterminding his own thing which happens to a puzzle piece in something bigger? BUT IT’S A PRETTY DAMN BIG PIECE. Who opened the new arcade? Is it connected to the bank? How did Biz get involved? Who’s his supplier? Did someone hook up Biz, Daybreak, Penelope, and Aelwen with Palimpsests to do their own separate things, hoping that at least one of them would succeed which would somehow be good for the mystery person? I am so excited to find out and I really hope Brennan and the cast do a Q+A sesh after S1 is over to hash some stuff out.

Siobhan’s face when Biz said he was going after Adaine.

ALSO, you’re just gonna TELL RIZ and you wanna PUT ONE OF HIS BEST FRIENDS into a MAGIC CRYSTAL???? AND YOU THOUGHT HE’D BE ON BOARD? Like, even if he was, what about the 4 other people who are there?????

(sidenote, wild Gorgug’s parents just left them alone, no questions asked)

Theme-wise, this is the fight ep I’m most excited for. It seems rad as hell.

All that yelling in the promo for next week. Either the raddest thing possible happened or there was a TPK. There is no other option.

Wow, that was a stellar ep and this is a really long post. I really can’t wait for next week’s!

Edit: I meant to say before, is Penelope’s FB album like…a hit list? Like does whoever’s doing the actual dirty work (Biz? S/o else?) know that whoever she takes a picture with is who they should target?

#fantasy high #fantasy high spoilers #asks #anon #Anonymous

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natsthinkitythinkthinkthonk · 6 years

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Seiyuu Challenge (#1+2): Favourite and Least Favourite Male Seiyuu

Least Favourite?

I’ll start by saying that I don’t have a least favourite. I just have a lot of seiyuu that I don’t like as much as the rest of you like. Those ones will be revealed in question [blank].

Favourite?

We’re going to be doing this in the form of a top fifteen list.

I’m going to try to put a “keep reading” line because this is SUPER DUPER LONG. This took me quite a while to complete, and I’m too lazy to proofread, so whatever happens happens.

Honourable Mentions:

Takehito Koyasu

(the hate for him transcends animation; no gif of Takehito Koyasu on Tumblr)

Here’s to the guy who almost always gets cast as the villain. Seriously, his voice suits it too well. He even looks like an action-movie villain in real life. Some people are just born with a resting villain face I guess. But he’s not just that, he has played a nun, Deadpool (for Japanese dubs), and Excalibur from Soul Eater. All his other roles are mostly villainous stuff though in things like Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, Gintama, Re:Zero, and others. I still need to watch a lot more of his stuff. He is the voice behind the infamous Dio. I think that’s enough to get him onto this list.

Roles | Singing

Kenichi Suzumura

(Maaya Sakamoto and Kenichi Suzumura would make a god-tier kid)

I know him best for playing Okita from Gintama. Okita is a great character though who I know will get a lot of development moving forward in Gintama. He also surprised me in Osomatsu-san since he was responsible for the “SHEEEEEEH”. He won an award for that too. Hikaru from Ouran Host Club was a role that surprised me a little because he wasn’t expected to be a love interest from my perspective. Speaking of love interest, I may be a bit bias towards him because he has a really cute relationship with one of my favourite seiyuu Maaya Sakamoto. They also acted in the Kara no Kyoukai franchise together where they took on the two main characters. If it wasn’t for that movie’s timeline (eight movies, all out of order), I might’ve finished it. I love his work in Honeyworks. He’s good at singing, and I plan on watching more of his stuff in the future (especially D. Grayman)!

Roles | Singing | The Full 1080p “SHEEEH” Experience

Toshiyuki Toyonaga

(The news that he had a child surfaced a while ago. Congrats to him!)

He just won the best lead actor award at the Seiyuu Awards a few months ago for his performance in Yuri On Ice, and he fully deserves it. He’s a talented musician, and he has such a soft-toned voice at times that can go to really deep in a matter of seconds. I haven’t seen him in shows like Free, SAO, Tokyo Ghoul Root A, Katekyo Hitman Reborn, Karneval, or Code: Breaker, but I have seen him in Yuri on Ice where he exceeded my expectations and definitely deserved that award (his speech was great too). He played Mikado who was a fun unexpectedly interesting character in Durarara, he shocked me in Zetsuen no Tempest where he Mahiro Fuwa who I didn’t like, he had an appearance in Bungou Stray Dogs as Tanizaki, he was Takeru in Kamigami no Asobi, and I really liked his role in Kimi to Boku as Shun Matsuoka (I really liked that anime in general).

Roles | Singing | Bonus: Seiyuu Award Speech, “Day You Laugh” Durarara OP, Zetsuen no Tempest Duet (ft. Kouki Uchiyama)

Daisuke Ono

(He looks like he forgot the rest of his lines)

He either gets those roles like Sebastian from Black Butler where he’s smooth and charismatic, or he gets those roles like Shizuo from Durarara where he’s the rugged thug. He is the fifth sextuplet in the notorious Osomatsu-san. Jyushimatsu is the loudest of the six, but he has the best episode in the entire show. If I remember correctly, I think it’s the second half of episode nine (I watched this a year ago). He has his own little episode where he falls in love, and it was nice to watch. My favourite roles from him personally are Sinbad from Magi, Shizuo from Durarara, and Handa from Barakamon. All of those anime were really enjoyable, and my favourites wouldn’t be the same without his voice.

Roles | Singing | Bonus: Kokkuri, “When you’re left with everyone’s bill” (Seiyuu Event Subbed), Barakamon (Highlights), Magi (Sinbad Highlights)

Ryouhei Kimura

After watching Silver Spoon and Kids on the Slope, I just had to include him here. I first knew Ryouhei Kimura for playing Judar from Magi, and even though he did well playing the heavy eyeshadow magi, when he takes the spotlight as a really well-developed character, it makes it that much better. After watching him in shows like Gekkan Shoujo, Akame Ga Kill, Tokyo Ravens, Kimi to Boku, Grand Blue, that BNHA OVA with the zombies, I can say that he earned the spot on his list.

Roles | Singing | Silver Spoon clip (WARNING: CONTAINS COW BIRTH)

Miyu Irino

(This whole thing is quite extra and overdramatic, isn’t it?)

His role in A Silent Voice left me shocked. Saori Hayami and his performance blew my expectations. They are both really talented individuals, and that movie was packed with feels. Even though I like Saori better, I think he deserves a place here. Sugawara from Haikyuu reminds me of a mom, and I think that’s kind of common. He gives the character a kindhearted voice (with a few exceptional moments). Todomatsu is another sextuplet in Osomatsu. I mention this show often because it’s really crazy. I can’t say I would recommend it to everyone, but the seiyuu definitely make the show funny at times. Ritsu Kageyama from Mob Psycho 100 is a character that is one of my favourite in the show because he is such a relatable person who just gets a little lost at times. And I’ve got to say that Miyu portrayed him well. I enjoyed that show a lot. Jintan from Anohana continues to be a show that I remember because it gave me the feels. I won’t get deeper into that because of spoilers and digging up old wounds and feels. But to end on a lighter note, if you like Osomatsu, I recommend checking out Danshi Koukousei no Nichijou because it has a hilarious cast in a bunch of sketches that can be quite funny.

Roles | Singing | Danshi Koukousei no Nichijou “RPG Quest”, Koe no Katachi SPOILERS

Jun Fukuyama

(You can see the moment the failure seeps his soul)

Koro-sensei and Lelouch would not be the same without him. He has given these two characters life. He was Souta Takanashi in Working!!, Ichimatsu from Osomatsu, Shinra from Durarara, Yukio from Blue Exorcist, and King from The Seven Deadly Sins. I recently watched him as the Dark Flame Master-- I mean Yuuta Togashi. The way his voice went from Dark Flame Master to Yuuta was funny even if it wasn’t realistic for a first-year high schooler. Same goes for Nura Rise of the Yokai Clan (which I haven’t finished). Bundo from Deadman Wonderland was fun to watch since he was a twist that I probably should’ve seen coming. Kassim from Magi is one character that I will never forget from him though because that backstory was sad, but his character along with Yuki Kaji’s performance really laid out one of the most exciting parts of season one of Magi.

Roles | Singing Compilation | Ichimatsu Compilation (Season One), Koro Sensei’s Weak Points

Satoshi Hino

I first saw him as Sai in Naruto, but since then, he has been in so many anime that I’ve seen as all types of characters. He’s Kineshi Hairo in Saiki, Ash Landers in Black Butler, Momonga in Overlord, Emil in Yuri On Ice, Akito Takagi in Bakuman, Daichi in Haikyuu, Shinku from Yowamushi Pedal, and the renowned Tomoda from Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun (the real MVP and hero we do not deserve). But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I’m looking forward to watching him as Kamui in Gintama.

Roles | Singing

Top Fifteen

15. Yoshitsugu Matsuoka

Despite being one of the most sought-after harem seiyuu, I can say that I don’t watch any of those. I haven’t watched The Pet Girl of Sakurasou or Food Wars or that Dungeon anime. I watched him as Sora in No Game No Life, but I didn’t like that anime. I put him on this list because of his smaller roles that I see him on. Titus from Magi is a perfect example. He may not get the most screen time, but when he’s on, he does a wonderful job playing his characters. His range is outstanding from playing the infamous Kirito to a crazy monster to an alleyway cat that got stuck (if you’re curious, watch Saiki). He also made me laugh quite a bit as Lubbock from Akame Ga Kill. Ah, that anime is just a tragedy. But speaking of tragedy, he apparently has a tough time talking to the people he works with which I relate to. Especially when he does harems (which have a lot of girls), you really can’t blame him. Plus, they make fun of him too.

Roles (This one is a little longer, but it includes extras and everything) | Singing

14. Toshiyuki Morikawa

I first saw him as Minato in Naruto, but I didn’t realize how prolific he was until I watched him play a wide range of characters from the villain Boro in One Punch Man to the crazy priest Azuma in Deadman Wonderland. He has such a calm and soothing voice too. This is especially apparent in Magi where he plays Ugo. He has so many miscellaneous characters in so many anime, and I just like his voice in general.

Roles | Singing

13. Akira Ishida

(This is almost the only gif??)

He has said that he turns down a lot of roles now, but he has still done so many. He is Katsura in Gintama. That in itself is enough to land him on this list. Katsura is one of my favourite characters in Gintama. Name a more iconic duo than him and Elizabeth. Exactly, it’s impossible. He’s also Gaara from Naruto which is where I first saw him. Yunan from Magi is a polar opposite. He’s such a mysterious kind soul. He has been in Danganronpa, the Fate series, Mirai Nikki, Fairy Tail, Kekkai Sensen, Parasyte, Natsume’s Book of Friends, Evangelion, and so many other shows. He’s been around since the 80s, so it’s really no surprise that he is in so many shows. His voice is so versatile that it’s almost scary. He inspired Aoi Shouta to become a seiyuu too because he was a “beautiful woman with a beautiful voice”.

Roles | Bonus: One Man, Seven Voices, Katsura Raps, Trivia

12. Sakurai Takahiro

He plays too many characters to count, and like Akira Ishida and Satoshi Hino, he has been around for a long time. He has characters that I’ve hated, loved, and wanted to “accidentally” push onto the road for them to get hit by a truck. I’ve watched him as the leader of Osomatsu-san who is just too insane for works, Fitzgerald from Bungou Stray Dogs who probably doesn’t know how it feels to be broke, Suzaku from Code Geass who I liked and hated at the same time, Yukiatsu from Anohana who you can’t help but pity, Jafar in Magi ho made me laugh lots, Arataka from Mob Psycho 100 who made me laugh so much with his antics, and Sakurai from (one of my more recently finished anime) Net-juu no Susume. He’s also kind of funny to watch in Ad-Live, but there aren’t any clips of that.

Roles | Singing | Bonus: Cringy Pick-up Lines, Anohana Festival, Osomatsu

11. Kensho Ono

I first saw him as Hakuryuu from Magi where he gave a great performance. He’s a talented singer as well as a stage actor. But besides Magi, I’ve liked his role in A Silent Voice where he plays Tomohiro (who is just such a precious character). His role as Akutagawa in Bungou Stray Dogs eventually did grow on me as I got used to him being the edgy, scarcely eyebrowed Port Mafia member. But one of the most standout characters I’ve watched from him (besides Hakuryuu and Akutagawa) is Arata Kaizaki from ReLife. He seems like a useless NEET that couldn’t stand the world at first, but then we find out that he’s a useless NEET who couldn’t handle the really tough world. But in all seriousness, he’s a character that seems really bland at first, and now that I’ve finished it, I can say that he gets some development that makes you realize that he might be that same average guy, but the plot and the people surrounding him make things really interesting. Kensho Ono is also a part of Ad-Live.

Roles | Singing | ReLife Clip, Magi Clip

10. Kaito Ishikawa

(I just read a fake article about how he was attacked with shuriken during a home invasion. Fake articles are wild.)

I know Kaito Ishikawa for playing characters in a lot of new shows. A lot of the roles are the ones that I haven’t watched, and some roles were a miss because the anime was a miss (Tokyo Ravens wasn’t excruciatingly bad, but even with the good cast, they couldn’t save a lot of its flaws.) Some people didn’t like Zankyou no Terror, but I still enjoy it. The performances were quite strong even with the cringy “Engrish”, and the music was phenomenal. His portrayal of the colder part of the duo “Sphinx” was one of the highlights of the show. Kouto from Noragami didn’t get too much of a chance to show what he’s truly capable of (since they ended it when his role was becoming more apparent). And even though his time on Bungou Stray Dogs was short, I certainly enjoyed the time that we got to see his character Rokuzou. Kageyama from Haikyuu is a great main character from him. He’s such good friends with Hinata’s seiyuu Ayumu Murase, and he’s so involved in the My Hero Academia cast as Iida Tenya (as we’ve seen from many of the highlights of the cast). His role as Iida was really good especially during the Hero Killer arc. His role as Genos had me laughing a lot of the time even though it’s ironic because he was a very stiff serious character. I hope to see him a lot more in the future.

Roles | Singing

9. Junichi Suwabe

(I relate to this too much because I don’t know where I am unless I’m inside my house)

His role as Aizawa-sensei made him too relatable. I’ve seen several pictures of him cosplaying as his characters which I have massive respect for. His role as Viktor in Yuri On Ice has probably wooed a lot of fangirls, but what stands out the most for me (besides Aizawa) is his role as Odasaku in Bungou Stray Dogs. That performance left me shaken up (especially from the storyline), and I’m sure a lot of Bungou Stray Dogs fans feel the same way. That scream near the end of the arc sent chills. He is also in a bunch of other things that I haven’t watched from Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, Kuroko no Basket, Black Butler, Fate, Food Wars, Nana, Natsume’s Book of Friends, Space Dandy, and a few others. I have watched him in some supporting roles like Jamil from Magi (that was a great three episodes where he appeared as a spoiled rich guy), Jae-ha from Akatsuki no Yona, Freed from Fairy Tail, Juuzou from Danganronpa, and Junichi (yes, Junichi) from Sakamichi no Apollon. That was rollercoaster of a role, but his singing was so good.

Roles | Singing

8. Tomakazu Sugita

You would think that with a voice like that he would be voicing a lot more serious characters. I guess that’s because I first watched him as Karasuma in Assassination Classroom. In reality, he’s a real jokester (especially when around Yuuichi Nakamura). His role in Danshi Koukousei no Nichijou was funny. It was thirteen episodes of craziness, and it features many of the regulars from Gintama. Speaking of Gintama, the reason why he’s on this part of the list is quite simple. Gintoki. If you’ve watched Gintama, you’d know that Gintoki is such a vibrant character with so much dick jokes and screaming that you really can’t imagine anyone else playing him. I say this as a compliment when I say that he yells just as much as Nobuhiko Okamoto. Just watching Gintama mentally strains your vocal cords.

Roles | Singing | Bonus: “Voice Acting Meme”, Gintoki Exclusive, Yukana helping out Sugita, Sugita x Nakamura (Seiyuu’s Little Forest)

7. Mamoru Miyano

I know everyone knows him for voicing Light from Death Note, but I haven’t watched that anime (don’t judge me, please). His evil laugh was good though. Speaking of other characters I haven’t watched from him, there’s also Rin Matsuoka from Free, Kiba from Wolf’s Rain, Lucifer from Hunter x Hunter, or Konoha from Mekakucity Actors. There’s probably a bunch more too, but let’s get to the stuff that I have seen. He has been around for so long, and his best characters are the types that appear goofy on the surface but have inner anguish and more depth to their personality. Dazai Osamu from Bungou Stray Dogs is such a character, and he’s the main reason why he’s high on this list. Dazai is such a funny weirdo. Kida Masaomi from Durarara is kind of like Dazai in an odd way too, and I don’t just mean his voice. He has humour that seems to hide something... or maybe that’s just me. Okabe from Steins;Gate (even though I haven’t watched that anime in its entirety) and Ling Yao also seems to keep up this trend. Shuu Tsukiyama from Tokyo Ghoul is just crazy though. It was fun to watch though. He brings so much fun to the characters, yet when they finally show a more vulnerable side to themselves, he still portrays them well. Not to mention, he has a great sense of humour and an awesome singing voice.

Roles | Singing

6. Hiroshi Kamiya

He’s way too easy to identify. Honestly, the first role I remember him for is probably Otonashi from Angel Beats. That gave me a bit of feels too, so I had to mention that. Besides that, he has had too many other notable roles, but I’ll try to mention a few supporting roles: Takeda from Haikyuu, Mephisto from Blue Exorcist, Araragi from Monogatari, and Ranpo Edogawa from Bungou Stray Dogs. Some roles I want to expand on are Natsume from Natsume’s Book of Friends. His chemistry with Kazuhiko Inoue is great, and they make for such an entertaining show. Izaya from Durarara is insane and neurotic, but he seems like a character with so many underlying insecurities. I haven’t watched the full series (only the first two seasons), but I still remember them (whether it’s because I hate him or not). Levi is a badass that I’m sure a lot of people know from Attack on Titan. He’s proof that short guys like me have a chance. Choromatsu is just crazy. He’s the most productive out of his siblings, but that’s like saying he’s the tallest among dwarves (shout-out to Veronica Sawyer for that quote). With that being said, my best role from him is easily Yato from Noragami. The cast of Noragami is strong, and he is the protagonist. He has so many funny moments and maybe serious ones as well. I could go on all day how he does a good job voicing Yato, but I’ll just leave it at that.

Roles | Singing

5. Yuuki Kaji

He truly does have the voice of a main character. Sometimes his voice is a bit too recognizable for me, and sometimes I think that he does get some roles that don’t fit him as well as I’d like, but I think that’s more up to the casting director than Yuki Kaji. I didn’t like his portrayal in Ao Haru Ride and found it really cringy. A lot of the other anime I don’t like him in is because I don’t like the anime in general. Diabolik Lovers, Guilty Crown, and High School DxD are a few examples of that. Besides that, he has had many outstanding performances. His roles as Takami from Deadman Wonderland and Ayato Kirishima from Tokyo Ghoul were okay. Eren from Attack on Titan which just from the clips I watched were epic and emotional. The amount of strain you can feel for his vocal cords (especially considering that he takes hours for a single episode). Yukine from Noragami was not liked by many at the beginning, but I actually really liked this character, and he portrayed his hardship really well. Todoroki from My Hero Academia sounds like a complete badass. And even though he’s really stoic, he had made me laugh as the “Hand-crusher”. Sonic from One Punch Man made me laugh a few times (RIP his nuts). Shion was great, and his chemistry with Nezumi (Hosoya Yoshimasa) is almost touching. When he got bitten by the wasp, I felt bad for him. This anime does not get the credit it deserves as a nice post-apocalyptic anime). But above all, my favourite role is Alibaba from Magi. I read the manga (slowly but still), and I still hear him doing Alibaba’s voice. He nails the character’s strength, goofiness, positivity, and his overall personality. I’m looking forward to watching Kouichi from Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, Soramaru from Donten ni Warau.

Roles | Singing | Bonus: Kaji100 Staff, An Interesting Conversation with Hiro Shimono, Slippers

4. Yuuichi Nakamura

Okay, so maybe he has had a few questionable roles that I won’t bring up, but we’re going to ignore those for now. I first saw him playing Gray from Fairy Tail, but I later saw him portraying Nozaki from Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun which made me laugh more than it should have. I haven’t watched Clannad yet (partially because I still want my soul intact), but from the funny clips I’ve seen, he certainly does a good job playing Tomoya. Greed from Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Sanada from Kimi ni Todoke (who I relate to on a personal level because names just don’t stick in my mind), Ren Kouen, and that dude on a bike from One Punch Man are his other notable roles I’ve seen in the past. But for the most recent ones I’ve seen, Sweetness and Lightning and Poco Udon’s World are two anime that I just finished. They are both very similar, and they bring out his fatherly side which he even said himself cleanses his soul a little. Sure, he has a lot of not-so-family-friendly-or-morally-right-roles, but he also has a lot of good ones too. A lot of these recently watched shows have given me a lot more respect for him too. I actually watched his full Ad-Live performance (only one of them since he has been a part of a bunch), and the fact that he was able to put up with the costumes, ridiculous lines, and everything else also brought him into a new light. Seriously, he was stuck acting as a moving truck guy who’s a robot.

Roles | Singing | Ad-Live: Download link (Subbed by Anokoe)

3. Kouki Uchiyama

Let’s just skip Raku from Nisekoi. I didn’t like it. But onto the good roles. Hiroshi from Barakamon is a supporting character who doesn’t get a whole lot of screen time, but when he does, he certainly provides a lot of laughs. Tsukishima from Haikyuu is a character to rival the king of the court himself. Yuri(o) from Yuri on Ice is so edgy and butthurt all the time. He’s a salty ballerina, and his fans are supposedly very motherly which is fitting since he’s going through teenage angst. Takumi from Anthem of the Heart is a role I wasn’t expecting to like, but he actually kind of pulled it off. Shout-out to Hosoya for telling him about the movie! Gin from Hotarubi no Mori e is a role that brought me feels. If you haven’t watched it, you really should. Akira from Devilman: Crybaby is a role that was too intense for me to get through. It was an extremely demanding role which is kind of funny because he thought he was going to end up as Ryo. Tomura Shigaraki from My Hero Academia (I call him “The Man Who Needs a Hand”) is another one of my favourite roles from him because he has such a creepy aura thanks to character design and his voice. Soul from Soul Eater (who I like despite not being original). I really want to see more roles from him (preferably edgy).

Roles | Singing: Honeyworks (Vocaloid cover ft. Nobunaga Shimazaki), Zetsuen no Tempest Insert Song (ft. Toshiyuki Toyonaga) | Bonus: Yurio “HAAAA” Compilation, Horror Movies (ft. Ryouhei Kimura and Nobuhiko Okamoto)

2. Yoshimasa Hosoya

Some people are just not like the people they portray on-screen. Number two and one are just like that. Here, we have a guy who usually plays brash characters actually being a timid softy whose backbone seems to be made of silly putty. I’m going to try to name a few of his roles that I’ve liked without drowning this whole post. Tokoyami from My Hero Academia whose quiet darkness I really respect especially with these new episodes. We need to see more of him! Asahi from Haikyuu who is the closest to him personality-wise that we will ever see. Daiki from Anthem of the Heart whose ending shocked me. Masmur from Magi who’s an underrated character. Braun from Attack on Titan who I know is a titan, and that shouldn’t count as a spoiler because everyone knows that by now. Saiki from WWW.Working whose his English wasn’t as bad as some shows. Seriously, Hosoya took an exam for English proficiency. He’s not that bad. In terms of outstanding roles, Nezumi from No.6 who is one of my favourite openly gay characters. He’s a badass, and along with Shion, they are an iconic duo in an anime that I found really enjoyable. Kunikida Doppo from Bungou Stray Dogs is the Armed Detective Agency’s soccer mom. He is responsible, keeps his ideals in check, and deserves happiness and a nap.

Roles | Singing Compilation | Bonus: “Ghost Story” (First 5 minutes), Guess the Profile (ft. Yoko Hikasa), Inu x Boku Radio

1. Nobuhiko Okamoto

This is a bit of an odd choice comparing to the usual popularity polls, but hear me out. This dude has range. He shares my love for sweets and chocolate. He does all kinds of crazy characters. He can voice the angry Katsuki Bakugou from My Hero Academia whose screams a lot. Let’s be real, he is not what we expected when we heard “Hero”. Some of his scenes can send chills down spines. The charismatic Karma from Assassination Classroom is another kind of crazy. He is quite popular in the series, and he has this personality that makes people scared and allured by him. Even in an anime I didn’t like, Juuni Taisen, he did an amazing job portraying the flamboyant crazy Usagi who only kills in fabulous stilettos, suspenders, and bunny ears. He voiced the best version of Obi in Akagami no Shirayuki with his laid-back attitude and confidence. I guess that’s why he’s cast for Otome games? Anyway, Obi was probably my favourite character from that anime, and he was just such a likeable dork who’s going to lose out in the end. Poor secondary love interest. Speaking of likeable, Rin from Blue Exorcist was fun to watch. Not for the story or anything (since that was lacking at times), Nobu provided a performance that was really enjoyable. He nails Nishinoya’s energetic personality in Haikyuu (”ROLLING THUNDAAAAA”), and he does a good job with Mikorin’s bashfulness and awkwardness in Gekkan Shoujo. Honestly, Mikoshiba is my favourite character in Gekkan Shoujo along with Seo who’s a legend. I haven’t watched Taoru Kagaku no Railgun, but Accelerator looks like such a fun character who I would like. Too bad I couldn’t get myself to like that anime.

Roles | Singing Compilation | Bonus Runniart Compilation Video

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junker-town · 3 years

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Watch Kobe Bryant, Tim Duncan, and more get inducted into Basketball Hall of Fame

Photo by Jennifer Pottheiser/NBAE via Getty Images

From Kobe to KG to Tim Duncan to Tamika Catchings, the Basketball Hall of Fame was filled with so many great moments.

The Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame enshrined a nine-person class on Saturday night, headlined by the late Kobe Bryant. Kevin Garnett, Tim Duncan, Tamika Catchings, Kim Mulkey, Barbara Stevens, Eddie Sutton, Rudy Tomjanovich, and Patrick Baumann were also inducted into the Hall of Fame.

Bryant was presented by Michael Jordan, but the Chicago Bulls legend did not speak at the ceremony. Instead, Jordan walked Bryant’s widow Vanessa Bryant to the podium as she delivered an emotional tribute to her husband. “I don’t have a speech prepared by my husband because he winged every single speech,” she said.

You can watch Vanessa Bryant’s full speech here:

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“I used to always avoid praising my husband to public, because I felt like he got enough praise from his fans around the world and someone had to bring him back to reality,” Bryant said. “Right now, I’m sure he’s laughing in heaven, because I’m about to praise him in public for his accomplishments on one of the most public stages.

“I can see him now, arms folded, with a huge grin saying, ‘Isn’t this some shit.’”

Here are some other highlights of Bryant’s Hall of Fame speech:

I wish my husband was here to accept this incredible award. He and Gigi deserve to be here to witness this. Gigi would be so proud to watch her daddy get enshrined into the basketball Hall of Fame. I know he was really looking forward to being here. He asked the Hall of Fame to specifically add a sixth ticket for Capri. He was so happy.

Kobe was one of a kind. He was special. He was humble, off the court, but bigger than life.

Kobe played through injury after injury. To name a few, he had IVs administered during halftimes to play with food poisoning and the flu. He played with a broken nose. He had a broken finger and had it snap back in place, just enough to finish the game. He also taught himself how to use his left hand to play the rest of the season while his finger healed. He even switched to free throws, with a torn Achilles and walked off the court, on his own.

I’ll never forget the look he gave me as he walked off the court that game. I knew it was bad. The crowd was cheering, and I was reassuring Natalia and Giana that daddy would be OK, just like any other injury.

Thank you for never missing a birthday, a dance recital, a school award show, show and tell, or any games our daughters played and your schedule permitted. Thank you for putting your love for our family first. Thank you for bringing so much joy to our lives, and joy to the people around the world. Thank you for inspiring us to be better than we were the day before. Thank you for teaching me and all of us to put someone else’s joy before our own. Thank you for being so selfless and loving with a heart of gold. Thank you for never taking yourself too seriously. Thank you for your sense of humor. Thank you for your wit.

Thank you for never telling me no, and always letting me have my way, most of the time. Thank you for being patient and easy-going. Thank you for letting me burst your bubble every chance I got. Thank you for graciously taking all my harsh comebacks. Thank you for dishing them back.

Bryant’s eldest daughter Natalia wore his enshrinement jacket after the speech.

Photo by Jennifer Pottheiser/NBAE via Getty Images

Tim Duncan’s Hall of Fame speech thanked Gregg Popovich and more

Duncan is a five-time NBA champion and two-time MVP who helped turn the San Antonio Spurs into one of the league’s most consistent winners.

Duncan talked about how he aspired to compete in the Olympics as a swimmer until an category five hurricane rocked his native Virgin Islands. Duncan instead picked up basketball as a 14-year-old and impressed the Wake Forest staff during a pickup game.

“I have no idea how I played, but I played well enough that he offered me a scholarship,” Duncan said. “He saw something in me, and he took a chance on this kid from the [U.S. Virgin] Islands. Thank you, Coach O, thank you for seeing something in me that I didn’t see at the time.”

You can watch Duncan’s full speech here:

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Duncan also joked that Gregg Popovich, his legendary coach with the Spurs, would be upset if he was thanked at all during the speech. Duncan did it anyway.

“You showed up after I got drafted, you came to my island, you sat with my friends, my family, you talked with my dad,” Duncan said of Popovich. “I thought that was normal. It’s not. You’re an exceptional person.

“Thank you for teaching me about basketball but, beyond that, teaching me that it’s not all about basketball. It’s about what’s going on in the world, your family ... just, for everything. Thank you for being the amazing human being that you are.”

Kevin Garnett’s Hall of Fame speech thanked those who came before him

Kevin Garnett was the first member of the Hall of Fame class to be inducted. Garnett said he requested to go first because “I wanted Bill Russell to hear my speech before y’all fell asleep.”

Garnett thanked Magic Johnson and Michael Jordan for inspiring him as a young player in South Carolina. He thanked Isiah Thomas for helping convince him to enter the 1995 NBA Draft out of high school as one of the first major prep-to-pro players of his era.

You can watch Garnett’s full speech here:

youtube

Garnett also thanked Duncan, who he competed against throughout his career.

“It was nothing but epic when we battled,” Garnett said of Duncan. “I look forward to all the battles. Seriously. And I thank you for taking me to another level, you and Rasheed Wallace.”

Garnett did not thank Ray Allen, who famously left the Celtics for the Miami Heat during Garnett’s days with the team. He also didn’t thank Glen Taylor, the former Minnesota Timberwolves owner who he has criticized over his career. You can watch our “Beef History” episode on KG and Taylor here:

Tamika Catchings’ Hall of Fame speech thanked the people who inspired her career

Catchings is one of the most accomplished players of her generation as a four-time Olympic gold medalist, a 12-time All-WNBA selection, a WNBA MVP, and WNBA champion.

Catchings thanked Alonzo Mourning and Dawn Staley for helping inspire her career.

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You can watch Hall of Fame speeches by LSU head coach Kim Mulkey and former NBA player and coach Rudy Tomjanovich here.

Next year’s Hall of Fame class will be headlined by Ben Wallace, Paul Pierce, and Chris Webber.

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halle-is-hella-gr8-blog · 6 years

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You Wish (Part 1)

Hello there! Soooo this is a new fic! It’s a Kaspbrough AU where Eddie is a cheerleader and Bill is head of the basketball team and Eddie also just wants to wear the girls uniforms and yea it’s fluffy. I wanna thank @boopboop-richardo for being the real MVP and helping me come up with this concept and also being my beta reader! Thank you bb love you lots <3 I hope you enjoy!

Eddie gathered up his things and shoved them into his bag as the final bell of the day sounded. He shouldered his backpack and walked out of the classroom towards his locker. He waded through the large crowd of students until he reached it. He quickly opened it and grabbed everything he needed. He shoved all of his books into his backpack before grabbing his uniform out of his locker. He held the fabric close to his chest holding onto it as if his life depended on it. He once again pushed his way through the crowd of students until he reached the boys locker room.

He took a deep breath before pushing the door open and stepping into the room. It was uncomfortably warm and the air was thick with a mixture of scents that Eddie didn’t want to think about too hard. The majority of the basketball team was already in there getting ready for their game that was only in a few hours. Eddie clutched the fabric even tighter now keeping his head down as he made his way through the room toward the small corner where he usually changed. He heard some snickers as he passed, but nothing he had never experienced before. Once he reached his little private corner he let out the breath he had been holding in and loosened his grip on the clothing in his hands.

He put his stuff down on the bench next to him before he started removing his shirt. He went through the motions of taking his clothes off and then grabbed his uniform off of the bench next to him. It was mostly white with embellishments of red and gold across the chest. He pulled the short sleeve shirt over his head first and then pulled on the pants. He looked at himself in the mirror making sure everything was in order. He looked fine, but when he looked at the image in the mirror he felt a slight pang in his chest. A thought popped up in the back of his mind before he quickly shoved it back away. He couldn’t do that.

He knew he had a few minutes before he needed to meet the rest of the cheer squad so he decided to just sit on the bench and scroll through his phone. He listened in on the idle chatter going through the locker room. Mostly it was just the basketball team talking about whoever they were playing with a few passing comments on some drama happening at school.

“Dude, did you hear Josh hooked up with Ashley?” He heard a voice ask “What dude no way. She’s waaaaayy out of his league.” He heard a different voice replied. He just rolled his eyes at the stupid gossip before focusing back on his twitter feed. A few more minutes passed and the talk quieted down until Eddie realized he was the only person left in the locker room. He welcomed the silence and the privacy. He stood up from the bench and started to move to leave the room, but something pulled him back to where his backpack sat. He knew he really shouldn’t, but he was all alone and had some time to kill so he unzipped the second largest pocket of the bag.

There he saw another uniform. The color scheme was the same as the one he was wearing, but it wasn’t really meant for him. He pulled out the two pieces and inspected them. In his left hand he held a short skirt and in his right, he held a crop top that would rise a few inches above his belly button. He stared at them for another moment before finally deciding to put them on. He took a quick look around the locker room just to double check that it was empty before taking his shirt off. He slipped the crop top over his torso and then took off his pants and slipped the skirt onto his waist. The feeling of having so much exposed skin both embarrassed and thrilled him that was a feeling he never got sick of.

He looked at himself in the mirror and was pleasantly surprised at what he saw. He saw a small boy with neat hair and perfect posture standing there in a mini skirt and a crop top. He moved around in the uniform getting used to the feeling of the air hitting his legs and stomach. He smiled widely almost getting lost in the fantasy of walking out of the locker room and onto the court in the uniform. It wasn’t until he heard the locker room door open again that he was shaken out of his daydream.

He now noticed that his movement had placed him almost in the middle of the room. He froze in place as he saw a tall boy emerge from the open door of the locker room. The other boy seemed wrapped up in his own thoughts as he walked into the room. It took him a few seconds to notice Eddie standing there in the girls cheerleading uniform. The moment that they locked eyes Eddie sprinted back towards his private corner of the room.

“Hey! I’m n-n-not gonna d-do anything thing t-t-to you!” The other boy shouted after him. Eddie recognized him as Bill Denbrough the head of the basketball team. A boy with lots of friends one of those people everyone knew and respected. This boy could ruin Eddie’s life if he really wanted to.

“I’m sorry!” Was all Eddie could think to reply with as he rushed to grab his regular uniform from the bench. He heard Bill’s footsteps approaching from behind him, but he didn’t dare turn around. His face was bright red and he felt tears starting to form in his eyes.

“You d-don’t have t-t-to apologize for a-anything” Bill said softly from behind Eddie. The voice was calming and warm. Eddie felt himself calm down slightly as he pulled the crop top off of his body and slipped the t-shirt back on. His hands were shaking slightly as he turned around to face Bill. He must have looked ridiculous in his t-shirt and mini skirt, but the concerned look that was on Bill’s face made that thought melt away. Eddie felt his heart skip a beat as he looked at the other boy.

“What are you doing in here?” Eddie managed to spit out after his mouth went dry. The tears were still threatening to spill onto his cheeks. The look of concern did not leave Bill’s face as he answered Eddie.

“I f-forgot my w-w-water bottle.” Was all he said. He didn’t question Eddie or make a joke about his current state. He just kept studying Eddie and Eddie felt himself almost starting to melt under the taller boy’s gaze. An awkward silence fell between the two for a few moments until Eddie broke the moment by turning around to grab his pants from the bench. He awkwardly pulled the skirt off and began pulling the pants up onto his legs.

“I w-won’t tell a-a-anyone. I p-promise” Bill said from behind Eddie. His voice was once again soft and quiet. Eddie could tell he was telling the truth, and he had never been more relieved. He finished changing and grabbed his water bottle out of his backpack turning back around to face Bill.

“Thank you,” Eddie said softly and gave Bill a small smile. Bill returned the smile and Eddie felt his heart once again skip a beat. He needed to get out of this locker room before he embarrassed himself more than he already had. He quickly walked past Bill and opened the door to the locker room walking into the hallway. The air was much cooler outside of that cramped room, and Eddie was thankful. He didn’t think he had ever blushed more than in that exact moment. He was extremely eager to get to the gym and to hopefully forget about the taller boy and his sweet smile.

Taglist: @fucking-reddie

#it 2017 #kaspbrough #eddie kaspbrak #bill denbrough #modern au #fanfic

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techcrunchappcom · 4 years

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New Post has been published on https://techcrunchapp.com/2020-nfl-season-bold-predictions-final-record-for-every-team-playoff-and-super-bowl-picks/

2020 NFL season: Bold predictions, final record for every team, playoff and Super Bowl picks

Guys, I don’t want to jinx anything, but I think the 2020 NFL season is actually going to happen.

The first game of the year is now just two days away, and unless this country comes under attack by fire-breathing hornets between now and Thursday — which does seem at least somewhat plausible based on how the year has gone so far — I’m thinking we’re going to get football.

With the start of the NFL season now here, that means it’s time for everyone’s favorite thing: PREDICTIONS.

I’ll be honest, I have high expectations for my predictions this year and that’s mainly because I’ve been locked in my house for the past five months quarantined with a baby. During that period, the only two things I’ve done are: 1. Change diapers and 2. Try to figure out who’s going to win this year’s Super Bowl. Although I’d like to think I’ll hit the nail on the head with all of my predictions this year, the fact of the matter is that this could end up being one of the most unpredictable years in NFL history. Not only was the preseason eliminated, but NFL teams did their best to shut down the flow of information coming out of their training camps, which means I have no idea which rookies have looked good or if any aging veterans look like they should be thinking about retirement.

I mean, one team has a 41-year-old player on its practice squad in case you’re wondering how bizarre things have gotten this year.

Before we get to my predictions, let me explain how things are going to work here: I’m going to go through each division and predict each team’s final record. After that, I’ll be making a bold prediction for each division. Once you roll through the divisional portion of these predictions, you’ll see my playoff picks and eventually, my Super Bowl champion. In two of the past five years, my preseason Super Bowl pick has ended up winning it all, so you might want to scroll down and check out that prediction first to see if I’m picking your favorite team.

Also, since we all know that making fun of someone’s predictions is half the fun of reading predictions, you can send all your hate tweets to me on Twitter by clicking here, and just so you know, Broncos fans, I’m already mentally preparing for your hate tweets.

Finally, if you’re wondering how I did last season, I predicted the exact win total of five different teams. I also correctly predicted that the Packers would make it to the NFC title game and that the Chiefs would win the Super Bowl. On the other hand, I completely whiffed on San Francisco. I had the 49ers going 6-10 last season, and they responded to that prediction by laughing in my face all the way to the Super Bowl. Niners fans also laughed in my face.

Alright, that’s enough jibber-jabber about last year, let’s get to the 2020 predictions.

AFC East

1. *Patriots: 10-6 2. *Bills: 9-7 3. Dolphins: 6-10 4. Jets: 4-12

AFC East bold prediction: Cam Newton leads the NFL in total touchdowns

No one knows if the Patriots are going to be any good this year and that’s mainly because no one knows if Cam Newton is going to be any good. The former Panthers quarterback hasn’t been able to stay healthy over the past few seasons, so there’s no guarantee he’s going to be able stay healthy in New England. That being said, I actually think Newton is going to have a monstrous year. For one, the Patriots are going to have the element of surprise on their side in 2020. For the past two decades, every opponent knew what the Patriots offense was going to do (even if they couldn’t stop it). This year, no one has any idea what the Patriots are going to do on offense, and because of that, it could be tough to stop. Also, Newton gives the Patriots something they never had with Tom Brady: A quarterback who is a threat to run the ball. If Newton can throw 30 touchdown passes this year and rush for 10 more, that will likely be enough to lead the NFL in total touchdowns, and that’s exactly what I’m predicting.

AFC North

1. *Steelers: 11-5 2. *Ravens: 11-5 3. Browns: 8-8 4. Bengals: 7-9

AFC North bold prediction: Joe Burrow sets NFL record for most TD passes by a rookie

This record is currently held by an AFC North rival (Baker Mayfield), which means it will probably feel especially gratifying for Burrow if he’s able to knock the Browns quarterback out of the record book. Back in 2018, Mayfield threw 27 touchdown passes, which broke Peyton Manning’s record of 26 that had stood since 1997. Burrow is going to have a huge advantage over Mayfield, and that’s because the Bengals quarterback is going to be the starter from Day 1, which means he’ll definitely be starting 16 games this season (Mayfield only started 13 games for the Browns in 2018).

The other upside for Burrow is that he’s going to have a lot of receiving talent to work with in Cincinnati with guys like A.J. Green, Tyler Boyd, Tee Higgins, Auden Tate, Alex Erickson and John Ross, plus running backs Joe Mixon and Gio Bernard. Also, there’s a good chance we’ll see Burrow put up big numbers this year no matter how the Bengals play. On one hand, if the Bengals are good, it will likely be because Burrow is having a phenomenal rookie season. On the other hand, if the Bengals are bad, we could see Burrow put up some huge numbers in garbage time, which could help his touchdown total.

AFC South

1. *Colts: 10-6 2. *Titans: 9-7 3. Texans: 7-9 4. Jaguars: 3-13

AFC South bold prediction: Doug Marrone is the first coach fired during the 2020 season

In most cases, when a team makes it to the AFC Championship game, they try to build on that success, but for some reason the Jaguars decided to do the opposite. Since making it to the AFC title game in 2017, all the Jaguars have done is completely dismantle their entire roster. The final two nails in the coffin came last week when the team dumped both Yannick Ngakoue (in a trade) and Leonard Fournette. After two straight last-place finishes over the past two seasons, Marrone is definitely on the hot seat this year and if the Jaguars get off to a slow start, he might not last long in Jacksonville. The Jags have a bye in Week 7 this season and if the team shoots off to a 1-6 or 0-7 start, it won’t be surprising if owner Shad Khan finally pulls the plug on the Marrone era in Jacksonville.

AFC West

1. *Chiefs: 13-3 2. Chargers: 7-9 3. Raiders: 6-10 4. Broncos: 5-11

AFC West bold prediction: The Broncos are worse than they were in 2019

The Broncos have been a trendy pick this year as a dark horse playoff team and a big reason for that is because of the way they finished the season. Over the final five weeks of 2019, Drew Lock led them to a 4-1 record, which allowed Denver to finish the season 7-9. One of the biggest question marks in Denver is the offensive line, which is a problem, because that’s not an issue you want to be worrying about when you have a second-year quarterback under center. The Broncos might have quite a few weapons, but those weapons don’t really mean anything if Lock never has time to get them the ball.

NFC East

1. *Cowboys: 11-5 2. Eagles: 9-7 3. Washington: 4-12 4. Giants: 3-13

NFC East bold prediction: Dak Prescott wins MVP

I’m starting to think that Jerry Jones actually had a diabolical plan going into 2020 that involved not giving Dak a long-term deal so that he’ll be playing with a chip on his shoulder the entire season, and I’m also starting to think that this plan might work. Last year, Dak finished with the second-most passing yards in the NFL and the fourth-most touchdown passes, despite playing in a run-friendly offense. With a more pass-happy coach and even more offensive weapons, we’ll likely see some even bigger numbers from Prescott. Oh, and let’s not forget that he plays for America’s team, which basically means that you’re automatically in the MVP conversation as long as you finish above .500 and I absolutely think the Cowboys are going to finish above .500.

NFC North

1. *Packers: 9-7 2. Vikings: 9-7 3. Lions: 8-8 4. Bears: 6-10

NFC North bold prediction: No team in the division will hit double-digit wins

If there’s one division where it feels like every team took at least a small step back this year, it’s the NFC North. The Packers added zero receiving weapons for Aaron Rodgers, the Vikings lost half their starters on defense, Bears coach Matt Nagy is being forced to start a quarterback he doesn’t have any confidence in and the Lions are the Lions. Basically, it’s a recipe for disaster and disaster in this case will be a season where none of the teams in the division hit the 10-win mark. This qualifies as bold, because it’s only happened one time in the 18-year history of the NFC North. Since the division’s first year in 2002, the only time none of the teams hit the double-digit mark came in 2013 when the Packers won the NFC North with just eight wins.

NFC South

1. *Buccaneers: 11-5 2. *Saints: 10-6 3. Falcons: 8-8 4. Panthers: 4-12

NFC South bold prediction: Buccaneers win the division for the first time in 13 years

With Tom Brady now in Tampa, this might not seem like a bold prediction, but according to our friends at William Hill Sportsbook, it definitely qualifies as bold, and that’s because the Saints are the overwhelming favorite to win the division this year. With just days to go until the start of the season, the Saints’ odds of winning the division are sitting at -120 (bet $100 to win $83.30) while the Bucs have much worse odds at +160 (bet $100, win $160). Not only will I be riding the Brady train this year, but I’ll be riding it all the way to the NFC title game. Unfortunately for the Buccaneers though, I don’t have Tampa Bay winning that game. To find out who I have beating them, you’ll have to keep reading.

NFC West

1. *Seahawks: 11-5 2. *49ers: 10-6 3. *Rams: 9-7 4. Cardinals: 8-8

NFC West bold prediction: All four teams finish at .500 or above

Most people seem to agree this year that the NFC West is the most stacked division in the NFL, so you might be wondering why this prediction qualifies as a bold prediction and the reason for that is because it’s never happened before. The NFC West has existed since 1970, and in the 50 years since then, there’s never been a single season where every team in the division finished at .500 or above. If it’s ever going to happen, this feels like the year the four teams could get it done.

NFC Playoffs

Teams: 1. Cowboys 2. Seahawks 3. Buccaneers 4. Packers 5. 49ers 6. Saints 7. Rams

Wild Card

(2) Seahawks 20-16 over (7) Rams

(3) Buccaneers 30-27 over (6) Saints

(5) 49ers 34-20 over (4) Packers

Divisional

(1) Cowboys 27-23 over (5) 49ers

(3) Buccaneers 31-24 over (2) Seahawks

NFC Championship

(1) Cowboys 34-30 over (3) Buccaneers

AFC Playoffs

Teams: 1. Chiefs 2. Steelers 3. Colts 4. Patriots 5. Ravens 6. Titans 7. Bills

Wild Card

(2) Steelers 23-20 over (7) Bills

(3) Colts 27-24 over (6) Titans

(5) Ravens 31-23 over (4) Patriots

Divisional

(1) Chiefs 33-30 over (5) Ravens

(3) Colts 34-27 over (2) Steelers

AFC Championship

(1) Chiefs 31-24 over (3) Colts

Super Bowl LV in Tampa (CBS)

Cowboys 34-31 over Chiefs

Playoffs bold prediction: Cowboys end 25-year Super Bowl drought

If you know any Cowboys fans, then you’re probably well aware that at the start of every NFL season, there’s nothing they like to talk about more than why this will finally be the year the Cowboys win the Super Bowl. It’s pretty much happened every year for the past 25 seasons. Although I usually laugh in their face after they make the prediction, this year I won’t be doing that, and that’s because I ACTUALLY AGREE WITH THEM. I think Jerry Jones might have brainwashed me because I think THE DALLAS COWBOYS ARE GOING TO WIN THE SUPER BOWL, and they’re going to do it by knocking off the defending champion Kansas City Chiefs.

Basically, not only am I predicting that Dak Prescott will win the MVP this year (as you read about earlier), but I’m also predicting that he’ll lead the Cowboys to the Lombardi Trophy. I think what I’m trying to say here is that Jerry Jones better get his check book ready because Dak’s asking price is going to triple if all of this happens.

The biggest reason I like the Cowboys this year is because they won’t be held back by coaching. Although Mike McCarthy isn’t a Hall of Fame coach by any means, he certainly feels like a step up from Jason Garrett, and let’s not forget, he also has Super Bowl coaching experience because he won a Lombardi Trophy during his time in Green Bay.

Also, I’m not sure if fans will be allowed to attend, but if they are, this Super Bowl would probably give us some amazing tailgating and that’s because the parking lot at Raymond James would be filled with both Kansas City and Texas barbecue, which is important to note, because we could finally decide which one is actually better.

Finally, if my predictions all pan out — and I’m sure they will — here’s what the top of the NFL Draft order will look like next April, and based on those first three picks, maybe they should move the event back to New York for the year.

Order of first five picks for 2021 NFL Draft

1. Jaguars 2. Giants 3. Jets 4. Washington 5. Panthers

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#every #final #playoff #predictions #record #season #super #Sports

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sometipsygnostalgic · 7 years

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JUST FINISHED GRAVITY FALLS

weirdmageddon was amazing! FAR better than most finales tend to be.

i wanted to know what the zodiac thing was all about though... i’d never seen it before but it was obviously important to the fans who had theorised about it.... couldnt we at least see what it would have done???? it didn’t have to be the final conflict!

ANYWAY i dont have as much to say about gravity falls as adventure time for obvious reasons so im going to rank it... Without further ado, it’s time to heavily overthink about cartoons!!!

Animation: 5 out of 5 hats - this is one of the most BRILLIANTLY ANIMATED childrens cartoon shows ive seen. there’s no weird inbetweens, the lighting for each scene is absolutely spot-on, it looks and feels amazing! honestly gravity falls looks like one of the strongest arguments for using script-driven shows instead of storyboard-driven shows, because cartoon network has never in its life produced something that looks this good. When it used 3D CGI it was implemented smoothly. The characters had no absence of body language and cues either, it was never boring to look at. Disney does it again!!!

Humor: 4 out of 5 hats - While I dont think this show is the literal funniest thing I’ve ever watched, it is consistently entertaining throughout the entire series which is more than I can say for the two cartoons (AT and SU) that i’m unfairly comparing it to. Humor is one of GF’s strongpoints, because the jokes it throws at you out of complete nowhere will always have you on ground. I laughed SO hard during this marathon, and the jokes are obscure enough that I’ll probably do the same thing on a rewatch. The animation helps significantly too. The character designs alone, especially Mabel and her sweaters, allow for plenty of visual humor. Soos is the sort of character that you dont know what hes going to do next. Grunkle Stan conning people got some of the hardest laughs out of me. Wendy is just.... Wendy reminds me so hard of early Marceline, except she will occasionally do something really cool cos shes from a family of lumberjacks. Let’s not forget Waddles, the MVP in the humor department.

Story: 3 out of 5 hats - If I made this post yesterday, I’d have ranked it 2 out of 5 hats. I never felt that there was any “story” to gravity falls, only some kind of ARG that added nothing to the experience because none of the questions were solvable until the answers had been revealed. But the second half of season 2 ups the ante on story by focusing on the Pines family and their relationships to each other, and you can feel tension rise especially when Dipper starts to hang aound Ford a little too much and you sense that poor Mabel is gonna be left in the dust just like Stan before her. Weirdmageddon also was way more entertaining than I expected! And how it ENDED? Oh jesus! The show’s final scenes were heartbreaking, if I’d been following for longer I might have started crying.

Characterisation: 4 out of 5 hats- holy crap, it’s just so much fun seeing the Pines family play off of each other. Each group has an entertaining dynamic, whether it’s playful like Mabel, Soos, and Wendy’s shenanigans, or more serious like Stan and Ford’s conflict. There was barely any time throughout the entire series that I was annoyed by how someone was acting, or thought that it was out of place and agitating. I think I might be giving this point a rather generous score because of how feelgood it was, rather than complex or deep, which in many areas it wasnt. For example earlier in the show the conflicts felt dumb, like the Jurassic Park episode where everyone was acting vaguely out of character to cause a sense of drama? idk. But later on it got more heartfelt, if predictable. Where else do I think it can do better?

Worldbuilding: 2 out of 5 hats - Yep, the area where I think Gravity Falls does the worst is worldbuilding. For 2 big reasons: The wasted potential of Gravity Falls itself, and the way its inhabitants were used. Maybe I’m just spoilt by the AMAZING job Adventure Time and Steven Universe do with this, but the land of Gravity Falls fails to be as interesting as Ooo or as realistic as Beach City. Idk, i think it’s more ENTERTAINING than Beach City but more because I get more laughs out of the show than recent SU. The issue with Gravity Falls’ civilians is that unless you’re a Pines, youre a straight up Cartoon Character. That rules your characterisation and your purpose for existence. This is fine and yes there are some memorable characters but they never have those hilarious moments of humanity, like the episode Root Beer Guy where the title character gets into conflict with his wife cos she thinks hes too involved with his actual realistic mystery novels, or the Graybles ep where Starchy ran away from the candy kingdom to get rid of a tracker in his tooth cos he knows PB was spying on him, and he runs a little club conspiring against her like some kind of real life political group. His club and Kim Kil Whan having King of Ooo memorabilia lmao. I’m getting too into this but its moments like that which make Adventure Time feel great.

As for GRAVITY FALLS ITSELF, yeah because the world doesn’t feel as real as it could be I never wanted to see what it had to offer next, and there’s never explanation for all of this. The journals play a much smaller role in the series than Dipper’s reactions over them would have you think. The closest thing to an explanation is the pondering over whether a spaceship caused the weirdness in GF or was drawn to the area because of this weirdness. But is it magic? Is it science? Is it different dimensions? Fuck knows! Is there any hint about the truth? I’m not sure! Yeah, not all things need to have answers, but it helps fire off the thinkpan. In Adventure Time the Land of Ooo’s weirdness is linked to an apocalypse that helped bring magic back to the land. The hint is that the magic potential was always there, because there were magical societies around millenia before humanity. Did magic disappear because of a comet hitting the planet? Is magic actually based on scientific principles? Like GF, not all these questions have direct answers, but unlike GF, you have enough incentive and evidence to construct your own theories. It lets you get absorbed in the lore of Ooo, of the characters inhibiting it. This is my own perspective anyway.

I think the most amazing mysteries I ever saw unwravel were Simon and Marcy’s adventures, and more relevant to my own experiences, PB’s age. Like there was puzzle pieces and hints around indicating Peebles had been around way longer than 18 years or whatever but we finally got confirmation in Season 5.2 where we saw consecutive episodes showing her in the past. The theory was that she was younger than 1000, but could be any age older than about 50. The Vault was a shock origin story for not just Finn having had a past life as a girl without an arm (THE ARM BEING ANOTHER ADVENTURE TIME THING THAT EVENTUALLY GOT some really back and forth PAYOFF), it was an origin story for peebles and the candy kingdom! but why would she make it?? ? yeah this was all stuff we were able to construct theories for, and accurate theories, because the evidence was there and more significantly the Writers were putting it together at the same time. It almost felt like we were having an INPUT in the story because of this natural way it evolved over time. That’s why AT’s mysteries are far more engaging than those of Gravity Falls, at least for me.... but maybe the same thing happened to GF fans????? Because I wasn’t there to put the pieces together, to study the Pines family or the Bill Zodiac which.... was almost as much a copout as Finn’s arm but its ok cos the stan deleting his memories shit was a decent end anyway. I just dont know why theyd put a mystery like that IN there if it was always going to be a red herring???

To conclude this description which..... ended up being another reason to talk about Adventure Time again, I want you to know that I REALLY enjoyed Gravity Falls. It reminded me of Over the Garden Wall in how it’s told, the characters it has, but much larger and grander than OtgW ever was.

My favourite characters were Stan and Mabel. Yeah, Dipper and Ford were very interesting characters too, but while they’re among the top of their trope, they still feel like an overdone trope to me.... especially dipper and his Issues,,, Stan meanwhile I liked that he was a runaway fuckup nobody as a child who became a professional conman after his parents kicked him out. That was an interesting backstory.

Gravity Falls, all in All, gets 3.5 out of 5 hats. To keep it real. Spend them wisely.

#gravity falls

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picturesinlove · 6 years

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THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT: a *super* unoriginal ‘best films of 2017′ list

In life, we’re constantly asked what we learnt from things. It’s one way of measuring a completely immeasurable experience. Most films are built on this- ’character arcs’- how do they change and grow? What do they learn? (That’s not a negative thing, just the mechanics of this stick out when it’s done badly). With that in mind, I asked myself, from everything I watched this year, what did I learn?

THE BEST 12 ‘FILMS’ of 2017:

The first thing I learnt- films and TV series have become indistinguishable. It didn’t happen solely this year, but 2017 is definitely the ‘flag in the road’ point. Films are increasingly designed so they can be watched on a small screen with headphones, and most TV should really be watched on a big screen with proper speakers. And TV is sort of the wrong word. Netflix isn’t TV. I don’t know what it is. Just Long Form Storytelling perhaps? It’s certainly becoming less and less episodic. More and more feel like 10 hour films split into 10 parts so you can digest it better. So, this list is really the best 12 *things* of 2017.

The second thing I learnt- how you watch something is almost as important as what you’re watching. What headspace you were in, what time of day it was, if the room was totally dark, if someone a few rows in front of you was talking through the movie, if you’d seen the previous instalments in the series, hell- even if you’d seen the trailer. It all adds to how you think about the film. So, on the list, I’ve included where I saw it.

12. THE DISASTER ARTIST (directed by James Franco)

True story about the making of Tommy Wiseau’s The Room, the best worst film ever made.

I cried like I haven’t cried in years watching this. I don’t know what it was. Just something about the last act hit me so hard I couldn’t contain myself. And when you’re trying to contain yourself BECAUSE THIS IS NOT A SAD FILM AND YOU SHOULD NOT BE CRYING EVERYONE ELSE AROUND YOU IS LAUGHING PLEASE STOP CRYING it’s really hard to stop. It’s a story of ambition, heart and following your dreams no matter what.

Green screen! Lovely green screeeeen! Purely on an aesthetic level, whenever they’re shooting against that unmistakable, vibrant colour I just loved it.

You know when films do that thing and show pictures of the real people the film’s about before the credits so you can go ‘wow this film’s so accurate and got that detail right’?? This does a version of that, and it’s the only one that’s ever mattered/will ever matter.

The real Tommy Wiseau also has my favourite film related tweet of 2017:

Seen at BFI Southbank.

11. ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK SEASON 5 (created by Jenji Kohan)

The lives of the women at Litchfield Penitentiary, a minimum-security prison in upstate New York. (the annimalllsss the animalllls, TRAP TRAP TRAP till the cage is fulllll...)

This show is about everything the opening titles suggest- women, decisions and time. What’s striking about OITNB is the characters never serve the plot. Plot *is* character. It’s there to serve them. It gives us a framework to waste time with these characters, because ‘all they’ve got is time’.

Season 5 is brave in terms of content and form. There are thousands of people more qualified to speak about the content, so I’ll leave it to them. Form wise: Orange is the New Black is Netflix’s most watched show, and probably it’s major tentpole along with Stranger Things. It has a well-oiled structure. Each season takes place over a few weeks, each episode focusses us in on one character, complete with flashbacks that inform us how they ended up in prison. Season 5 tears that to shreds, setting it basically in real time over 3 days. When it works, it *really* works. There’s no looking away. You feel the grind of what they’re going through. It sometimes leaves them too much time to pad out and we get some boring side plots- but on ambition alone I loved it.

It’s the perfect continuation and accumulation of previous seasons in many ways. The characters you know and love are in extraordinary circumstances. It brings out sides to their personalities that you never knew were there, but fit perfectly. Where all the characters are situated within the prison after the inciting incident is the best use of character geography *as* character I’ve ever seen. Tonally the series has gradually been getting nastier and nastier for a while, but there’s a scene towards the end of this season which is so nasty and so long and REFUSES to cut away even though you desperately, desperately want them too. It’s raw. It hurts. It’s a scene the show has always been heading for tonally and building towards dramatically.

Season 5 slots in just under 4 for me in terms of ranking them all- but it’s still damn good. One things for certain, 5 changed everything for OITNB. The game is different.

Oh, and Nicky’s the MVP.

Netflix.

10. BAD GENIUS (directed by Nattawut Poonpiriya)

Thai Heist-Thriller. A genius high school student makes money after developing elaborate methods to help other students cheat.

WHAT A FUCKING RIDE!! The most fun I’ve had in a cinema all year. More stakes in this than most ‘end of the world’ superhero movies. Genuinely unpredictable.

The filmmaking is so good it makes you forget plausibility is sometimes being pushed. Amazing set-pieces. Expertly choreographed. Form and content perfectly married. This is the best way to tell this story, like a Michael Mann thriller, a Steven Soderbergh Oceans-style heist.

Every character is so rich and textured in their own way. So fully realised. You’ve met them all at some point in your life. It’s whimsical, but painful and genuinely emotional when it needs to be. Never pulls it’s punches.

2 years time, there will almost certainly be an American remake… and it’ll suck so hard. It’s rooted in Thailand, the socio-economic situation of people, the time zones, the pressure to succeed, and honestly- just hearing it in Thai.

SEE THIS FILM. SEE THIS FILM. SEE THIS FILM. SEE THIS FILM. If you take anything from reading any of this, SEE THIS FILM.

Seen at Vue Leicester Square.

9. NATHAN FOR YOU: FINDING FRANCES (directed by Nathan Fielder)

The feature-length finale of Nathan For You’s 4th season. It’s a show that’s difficult to describe without saying ‘trust me’.... but honestly, *trust me*. Nathan Fielder graduated from business school with ‘really good grades’. He offers outlandish solutions to solve problems for struggling small businesses. In Finding Frances, Fielder uses all the resources of his successful show to help an old Bill Gates impressionist track down his high school sweetheart. Trust me.

Nathan Fielder has accidentally and totally on purpose made one of the best documentaries of the last 10 years.

It’s funny how we remember things. Reality and fiction are blurred. Truth is irrelevant. What does real mean? Does it even matter if we remember it how we want to?

Laptop.

8. THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI (directed by Martin McDonagh)

A mother takes desperate steps to pressure local law enforcement to find her daughter’s killer.

Perfectly woven and layered characters. I fucking hate the phrase ‘the character arc’, but if I were teaching a class in it- I’d show this film.

A film about relationships, and every relationship between every character or creature or inanimate object is perfect.

McDonagh loves theatrical sensibilities. Nobody does grand, rich set-pieces quite like him… makes highly stylised situations feel real in the world he sets up.

I could have watched hours more of these characters interacting.

Seen at Embankment Garden Cinema.

7. BLADE RUNNER 2049 (directed by Denis Villeneuve)

Neo-noir, sci-fi sequel to Ridley Scott’s 1981 classic.

I’m not a fan of the original Blade Runner. I appreciate it! It’s beautiful! and groundbreaking! but I just find it so heartless and cold. I just can’t connect to it. The best sci-fis are amazing stories with really fun furniture (the gadgets, tech etc.) The original is too much furniture for me. In other words, I had no reason to like this one IP wise. 2049 takes everything that could have been interesting from the original and expands on that. The furniture is just that- furniture. An amazing setting that enriches and serves the story. Everything is there to tell the story. I left the cinema feeling I’d experienced something the way that everyone talks about experiencing the first one.

The most expensive art film ever made. I literally cannot believe this exists. I cannot believe they gave Villeneuve £185MILLION to make a 3-hour long, philosophical film that has no blockbuster tropes: no loveable rogue hero; no ‘off-beat’ quippy humour to keep you interested; no CGI extravaganza 3rd act; NO.FUCKING.SKYBEAM with floating garbage spinning around it that threatens to destroy the world and the heroes have to stop it before everyone in the world dies; no setting up 5 other already planned sequels in the franchise so nothing important happens in this one. It’s a rare type of blockbuster in 2017- one that trusts it’s audience is intelligent.

Denis Villeneuve really is the most exciting director working today. This is just further proof. Arrival (2016) still my favourite of his, but I’m almost more in awe of him for this. Taking such a well-loved franchise and doing something new with it in a way that still feels respectful of what’s come before. It’s his film.

The only use of Hollywood’s new trend of digitally recreating actors (ala Peter Cushing in Rogue One: A Star Wars Story) that will ever matter. THIS is how you do it well.

Gender politics (we’re gunna’ go there, SPOILERS AHEAD and I know my opinion doesn’t really matter or count for anything on this just thought it’d be silly not to bring it up, feel free to disagree, v. interested to hear what everyone thinks about this!!) Lots has been written about the treatment of female characters in 2049. Most apt example I can think of to explain how I feel- Taxi Driver (1976), there’s a cafe scene in which the camera lingers on some black characters for uncomfortably long in a kind of parading manner, a ‘look at how terrible these guys are’ manner... it’s very understandable why one could interpret the film itself as racist. I’d argue the film is completely aware of what it’s doing- it’s putting us in Travis Bickle’s eyes, who is a racist character. I mean, we’re literally in his head the whole thing, hearing what he’s thinking and seeing what he’s seeing... I guess what I’m saying is- ‘it’s a decision.’ It’s not an offhand random shot where the filmmaker’s own gaze comes through, it’s a skilfully planned decision to make us question and think about something, in Taxi Driver’s case- what kind of man Bickle is. The treatment of women in 2049 *IS* a decision. It’s not Villeneuve lazily commodifying women, it’s him saying a world where women are only a commodity is a fucking bleak one. It’s a world where real women have been rendered obsolete because the height of success in our society (the CEO of a large corporation), an egoistical white guy with a god-complex manufactures life so women aren’t necessary for continuing the human race, and creates holographic partners for everyday men so they’re emotionally fulfilled without having to engage with actual women. And it’s so horrible. I mean, is anybody happy in this film? Is the picture of the future this film paints bright? It’s a film about how the arrogance of men will destroy everything. And on a base story level, it’s literally about guy who thinks everything is about him... but it turns out to be about a woman. Perhaps it’s lazy for the film to make the decision ‘it’s a patriarchal world so all the women are prostitutes and are treated badly so we’re just gunna’ do that’, but I dunno’... I think there’s more going on. I think Villeneuve is too good for that. I mean his last film was literally about a genius female linguist being the saviour of the world and how a mother’s love is the most precious thing. Would he really do such a U-turn and make a film where the female characters are just objects to be gazed at? I mean- maybe?? If any other aspect of the film felt like it was the studio meddling with Villenueve’s vision I’d buy that... but it’s just SO his film. And I think he’s clever enough to know who the primary audience of this film is- geeky 20 year-old guys. He draws them in with the surface (and all too familiar) images of the female characters, and then turns all of that on it’s head. Just my opinion. Obviously I can never be completely impartial- very happy to be converted the other way.

Seen at Picturehouse Central.

6. CALL ME BY YOUR NAME (directed by Luca Guadagnino)

Somewhere in Northern Italy, Summer 1983, Elio’s life changes.

Sun-drenched Europe, the smell of warmth and twirling cigarette smoke, deep blue sky- pure, breakfast with a glass of apricot juice and an espresso, the sound of bike spokes spinning lazily.

I wish I could live with these people.

‘Later.’

The rawest and best final shot in the last 10 years.

Seen at Odeon Leicester Square.

5. THE BIG SICK (directed by Michael Showalter)

A Pakistani-born standup comedian/Uber driver and a grad student strike up an unlikely relationship.

MAGIC. The perfect retort to use when someone says ‘all rom-coms suck’. A genuine slab of gold that’s as funny as it is heartfelt. And it’s just SO the kind of thing I like.

I’m unbelievably bored of films and just art in general that’s terrified of being sincere in fear of being labelled sappy or over-sentimental. The Big Sick says ‘fuck you’ to that school of thought and goes for it.

Comedy, romance and drama are effortlessly blended- sometimes all in the same scene. And it never feels off-kilter, mainly due to the amazing performances. Kumail Nanjiani, Zoe Kazan, Ray Romano, Holly Hunter and the rest of the cast always play the truth of the scene- not the humour, the romance or the drama, just the TRUTH of the moment.

The perfect antidote to the year 2017 in general.

Seen at Aldeburgh Cinema.

4. YOU WERE NEVER REALLY HERE (directed by Lynne Ramsay)

Gulf War veteran Joe rescues children from trafficking rings.

This is a horror. And more terrifying than any jump scare, this whole film is populated by ghosts.

Deeply troubled, deeply disturbed. Beautiful. Precise. Scatter-brained. Focused. A violin strung too tightly, then played by a madman. How can something so stripped down and raw feel so symphonic and wholesome?

There are things in this that will play on loop in my head for the rest of my life. Images and sounds so seared into my brain they find me at the strangest of moments in a day, and I’m always left thinking about them for the rest of that day. It’s clever like that. Joe can never escape what he’s seen.

Francis Ford Coppola famously told press at the 1979 Cannes premiere of Apocalypse Now - ‘My film is not about Vietnam. It is Vietnam.’

You Were Never Really Here is not about PTSD... it is PTSD.

Seen at Odeon Leicester Square.

3. LOGAN (directed by James Mangold)

Wolverine’s last outing.

I’m not a huge fan of superhero films. Most are fun. Most are also lazy. Few will survive the test of time. Those that will use all the tricks in their genre box and do something interesting with them, transcend- Rami’s Spiderman 2 (2004), Bird’s The Incredibles (2004), Nolan’s The Dark Knight (2008)... and Mangold’s Logan.

So aged. So weary. Everyone is tired. Tired of running, tired of fighting, tired of living. Like three sharp metal claws jaggedly tearing through flesh, nothing is polished about this. Bloodshot eyes, skin like leather. He feels so much regret. Like most real heroes, he mourns those he couldn’t save rather than celebrates those he did. And it’s eaten him up inside for the hundreds of years he’s lived.

Here I go talking about furniture again... but every piece of furniture (superpowers etc.) is there to serve the story (and here the characters are story). Like so many blockbusters and superhero movies fail to do, this film is about something other than the furniture... e.g. how do you tell a story about dementia that gives someone who hasn’t experienced a family member suffering from it *that* feeling of sadness, loss, embarrassment, empathy and frustration? You give it to Charles Xavier (played by Patrick Stewart), a character you’re use to seeing as the leader, who always has a clever plan up his sleeve and has the ability to control other’s minds. You give it to him, and you force everyone watch the person they respected the most have to be lifted into bed while screaming about fast-food. It’s heartbreaking. Complex. It’s actually about something other than how in superhero world teamwork saves the day. Every ‘plot point’ and moment tells us something about these characters, even to a fault sometimes. SUBTLE: Logan pulling them jammed claws the way an old boy down the pub with arthritis feels his fingers. UNSUBTLE BUT STILL INTERESTING: making Logan fight the only thing he’s truly scared of- literally the version of himself that blindly obeys orders.

Everyone is SO fucking real. Just *watch* the way Daphne Keen eats that bowl of cereal.

Would highly recommend watching the ‘Noir’ Black & White version.

mild spoilers: It also features the best single edit of the year, from Laura stabbing the shit out of some dude to a flurry of scattered drum beats in the score... then that piercing animalistic roar rips through and all is silent... she spins.... from this:

CUT to this:

An empty forest, the roar echoes out... a low bass note tolls like a funeral. Something is coming. Help is on the way, but it’s an untamed, ruthless, violent help. He’s near...

No one single cut has ever given me chills like that before.

Seen at Odeon Leicester Square & Picturehouse Central (Noir version)

2. TWIN PEAKS: THE RETURN (directed by David Lynch)

Agent Cooper’s odyssey back to the small town of Twin Peaks. The original series of Twin Peaks that aired in the early 90s is often cited as creating ‘prestige’ television as we know it today- your Game of Thrones’, HBO high-quality, Netflix and so on... 25 years later, David Lynch and Mark Frost have returned to kill it.

Earth-shattering. Groundbreaking. An 18-hour film (split into 16 parts) so layered, so complex i’m not even sure where to begin... and most of what I have to say has probably been written by someone else much more eloquently.

For the first 9 hours, I found The Return mostly frustrating. I love the original series so, so much (and the prequel film Fire Walk With Me is one of my favourite films of all time). When I hit hour 10, it was like all the clouds in my head suddenly cleared. I ‘got’ it. What I thought I wanted was all my favourite characters back again talking about cherry pie and coffee with that soft romantic filter. Lynch and Frost (the creators) knew I wanted that. They also knew I didn’t *really* want that... because, the original series will always exist. They knew nothing would disappoint more than a soft reboot. The Return is it’s own thing- within the universe of Twin Peaks, and... within the actual universe. Seriously, how can you categorise this? It jumps from screwball slapstick comedy to silent black and white existentialist horror to 10 minute live band performances... what is the point of even trying to categorise it?

On some of the individual parts: Part 3 is a low-fi, surrealist, near silent masterpiece. Part 8 is... ‘Pure Heroin Lynch’ and has already changed TV forever. Part 11 is the most satisfying instalment, fulfilling storylines from the original series in a measured and poignant way. Part 17 is the conclusion we wanted, sort of... Part 18 is the start of a new mystery, and one of the most haunting things I’ve ever seen.

Twin Peaks will change you life.

Seen on Laptop.

1. THE FLORIDA PROJECT (directed by Sean Baker)

In the shadow of Disney World, 6 year-old Moonee and her friends spend the summer playing around the Motels they live in, while her mother Halley struggles to find a new job.

Pastel bright colours. Every person has survived a storm. Explore the wasteland of failed corporate America. Become a child again. The endless spinning of helicopter blades, a constant reminder of what they can’t do- escape.

Doesn’t ask you to like the characters. Doesn’t need to. Moonee has seen too much. Halley’s anger at herself and her life bubbles underneath every word and action, but she just doesn’t know how to fix it.

It is *SO* achingly beautiful it hurts. I find it hard to even watch the trailer without crying.

For the problems that face Moonee, honorary queen of The Magic Castle Motel, and the impending darkness that’s sure to come, she has the most powerful gift of all- finding hope where there is none.

‘See, I took you on a safari.’

Seen at Odeon Leicester Square & ICA.

DISCLAIMER- things that are not out yet in the UK/I shamefully haven’t yet seen and would likely be on my list too: Lady Bird (further DISCLAIMER i would actually kill somebody to see this) A Ghost Story Raw Phantom Thread War for the Planet of The Apes Coco American Vandal Mindhunter

BEST SCENES:

The third thing I learnt this year- it’s impossible to talk about a specific scene in a film without spoiling it. So... SPOILERS.

The Stairway Fight - ATOMIC BLONDE (directed by David Leitch)

If someone could tell me what the fuck was going on in Atomic Blonde that’d be great but until then I’ll just marvel at how amazing the fight sequences are. Charlize Theron again puts herself at the centre of the progression of American action cinema following her iconic performance in Mad Max: Fury Road (2015). From the first time we see her, lying in an expensive bath healing her wounds and soothing her bruises, we know at some point we’re going to see how she got them. CUE: The 15 minute stairway fight sequence, made to look like a single continuous shot. Leitch and Chad Stahelski (his frequent collaborator and director of the also brilliant John Wick: Chapter 2) are determined to show general audiences what good action scenes look like. This 15-min beauty harkens back to the almost dance like hospital shootout in Hard Boiled (1992), with the rawness and determination of a Children of Men (2006) tracking shot. Charlize Theron (as MI6 agent Lorraine Broughton) fights her way through swarms of henchmen over several floors of an abandoned block of flats, all the while trying to protect Eddie Marsan (who wouldn’t want to protect Eddie Marsan??) Every punch, kick and throw HURTS. By the end, she and the final henchman are so exhausted there’s a sense they might just call the whole thing off- but something pushes them on. Oh, and there’s a 5 minute car chase all part of the same shot to end. Also features the BEST LINE OF 2017. In retort to the final henchman strangling her desperately whispering ‘Take this, bitch!’, she turns the tables, stabs him up hard, then before delivering the final knockdown, pushes her nose to his and asks- ‘Am I your bitch now?’ She doesn’t wait for a reply.

The Eyeless Woman - TWIN PEAKS: THE RETURN (directed by David Lynch)

youtube

Lynch’s best nightmare.

Train Hysterics - LAST FLAG FLYING (directed by Richard Linklater)

2003. A Vietnam veteran recruits his two oldest buddies, who he served with, to accompany him on a journey no one should ever have to take.

I liked this movie a lot- just missed out on the top 12 list. The standout scene happens little over half way through, the characters sitting in a storage carriage of a train talking about losing their virginities. It’s the best ‘characters uncontrollably laughing’ scene since The Intouchables (2011).

The Snowball epilogue - STRANGER THINGS 2 (directed by The Duffer Brothers)

Stranger Things season 2 was super mixed for me. I enjoyed it a lot. Kind of.

The first series is a perfect little story, with a perfect beginning, middle and end. I god damn *love* it’s characters so, so much. The plot was simple remixed 80s nostalgia beats, but really just a vehicle for you to get to know Mike and Eleven and Nancy etc. Think about how much each and every scene was practically designed to reveal more about who they were. It was so beautiful. Season 2 however had wayyyyy too much plot which was obsessed with itself and how cool it was and as a result left characters with nothing to do. In other words, in Season 1 all the characters had something to do because the plot came from them, in season 2 characters were given plot roles... like, explain to me what Mike did all season before he saw Eleven again at the v end of episode 8?? What did Jonathan’s storyline tell us about him we didn’t already know? Sure, they don’t have to set up who they are all over again, but the best sequels never take for granted we love the characters- they give us new reasons to love them.

It’s clear to see whose storylines had natural progressions from season 1 and they knew where they were going, and those they had to think of something because Netflix desperately wanted another season quickly. The only original characters season 2 really worked for were Steve and Will. ‘Steve The Babysitter’ was the perfect progression for his character- him voluntarily discarding his Alpha-Jock status, seeing it was all bullshit, now his caring side comes out. Fuck, think how much you disliked Steve all of Season 1 compared to how much you love and deeply want him to be ok at the end of season 2. THAT’s good writing. His storyline was perfect for his character, it kept giving us new reasons to love him. And Will. Holy shit. His descent into Reagan-level possession was the most engaging part of season 2. Basically all of the story came from him. And Noah Schnapp is so damn good. I think simplicity is the key. His story was unpredictable till the last moments, when you realise it was inevitable. It has a clear premise, unlike most of season 2.

In the first, there were very clear overarching premises from the start- Will Byers is missing, Eleven has escaped from the Lab, the Demogorgon is on the loose. Simple premises that allow our characters to manoeuvre around... Season 2 doesn’t really have one other than Will is clearly still connected to the Upside Down... the Mind Flayer doesn’t really start as a concept till the penultimate episode... Hopper and Eleven living together maybbe?? but we’re not really given enough time with them. Everyone else is left with nothing to do, or something that doesn’t really serve their character... UNTIL THE LAST 15 MINUTES.

The Snowball epilogue was like coming to the surface after swimming laps underwater- I sort of enjoyed the laps but I’d rather just be able to breath. All the self-indulgent 80s nostalgia *plot* is done, and all the characters have interesting things to do!! Steve giving Dustin tips dropping him off, and then that longing look he gives towards the hall. Dustin realising ‘I don’t look like Steve Harrington’ after being rejected by every girl at the ball and dejectedly crying... and in comes Nancy to save the day!! Genuinely one of the most beautiful moments in anything all year (notice how we learn more about Nancy’s true nature in this one moment that anything else she really did all season??) Jonathan nearby keeping an eye on Will and being his helpful self taking the Ball pictures. Lucas ignoring what the rest of the group think about Max and asking her to dance. Will actually going to the ball, acting as normal as he can and dancing with someone!! Joyce and Hopper nervously wait outside and reminiscently share a smoke as they did in their highschool days- contemplating on how they probably won’t ever feel like they aren’t worried about their kids... and finally Mike and Eleven just having a bit of happiness for once- actually going to the Snowball together, a beautiful conclusion after speaking about it at the end of Season 1.

As each moment passed in this glorious sequence, I loved the characters more and more. They aren’t doing anything supernatural or life threatening, but the stakes feel SO much higher than they had all season. It’s real. They aren’t shackled with ‘advancing the plot’, they can just be themselves. And I loved it.

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY:

Time’s Arrow, Episode 11, BoJack Horseman Season 4 (created by Raphael Bob-Waksberg)

BoJack Horseman has been the most visually beautiful cartoon for a while now, it’s breathtaking season 3 silent underwater adventure Fish out of Water helped to gain it much appreciated wide applause. Time’s Arrow is a different beast. Genuinely horrifying. A mind cracked into a thousand pieces and glued back together into something resembling crazy paving. The animation is disturbing. Really disturbing. The nightmarish images running through the failing mind of an old woman with dementia. Images of her regrets, the neglect and abuse at the hands of her parents. Memories burn and melt away like plastic in a fire. The faceless humans and constant scribble over Henrietta’s face haunts me. Beyond the obvious sinister imagery, it means something. A puzzle with too many missing pieces to really make out what the picture actually is. And we’ll never really know.

It’s not the first thing that pops into mind when you think of ‘cinematography’, but Time’s Arrow is the best visual storytelling since... the previous season of BoJack Horseman.

BEST PERFORMANCES:

Cate Blanchett as various in MANIFESTO (directed by Julian Rosefeldt)

Originally a critically acclaimed multi-screen video installation in which Cate Blanchett plays 13 different characters, ranging from a school teacher to a homeless man, performing artist’s manifestos in 13 different scenarios. Part of the financing deal was Rosefeldt had to cut a 90 minute, linear version of the piece for a cinematic setting.

NO one could have pulled this off like she did. She’s running on adrenaline and pure bravery. She makes interesting choices at every twist and turn. How does looking at her never get tiresome? Every jump from character to character feels genuine. She blew my mind- I knew I was looking at the same person over and over again, but I also *knew* I was looking at 13 different people.

A masterclass.

Kyle MacLachlan as various in TWIN PEAKS: THE RETURN (directed by David Lynch)

2017 is the year of staggering ‘multi-character’ performances. Kyle MacLachlan’s involvement in the new season of Twin Peaks was basically the only thing anyone knew about it going in. And he is the heart of this season in so many ways. Returning to a character 25 years later must be a daunting prospect, but MacLachlan shows no fear. Not only does he play the pragmatic, joyful Agent Cooper we all know and love, he plays his steely, pure evil doppelganger Mr C, child-like amnesiac Dougie Jones and in the final episode... someone quite special. And he makes it look so damn easy. He is the fabric that holds together The Return.

THE ‘KIDS’ in EVERYTHING

2017 has been a bad year for Hollywood. Ultimately though, it will be looked back on as the turning point. THINGS CHANGE NOW. The old guard is running from their past scared. And they should be scared. Uma Thurman is coming to murder them all. There is no room left for the Harvey Weinstein’s, the rotting core of top-down abuse has been exposed. Brett Ratner can fuck off with his swaggering playboy image and terrible movies.

What is truly uplifting is who is going to replace them. A new generation of pure, true artists that this year has shone a spotlight on.

The future is Brooklynn Prince and Bria Vinaite, stars of The Florida Project. The future is Timothée Chalamet, whose central performance in Call Me By Your Name is the realist, rawest thing ever. The future is Saoirse Ronan, the next Meryl Streep. The future is Daniel Kaluuya, who has finally gained world-wide recognition for his stunning leading performance in Get Out. The future is Finn Wolfhard, Millie Bobby Brown and all of the kids from Stranger Things, who masterfully manage the horrific pressures of being thrust into the tabloid spotlight at the same age most of us just want to cry in our rooms. The future is Sophia Lillis and the rest of the Loser’s Club from IT (a film with the most oppressively terrible sound design ever yet they still manage to make it fun and watchable.) The future is Daphne Keen, the best on-screen cereal-eater who almost steals the film from Hugh Jackman in Logan. The future is Lucas Hedges, someone with rare human fingerprint over every word he speaks in Three Billboards and last year in Manchester By The Sea. The future is Donald Glover, the most creative, multi-talented young artist alive. The future is Caleb Landry Jones, who’s had maybe the most impressive year, with standout supporting roles in The Florida Project, Twin Peaks: The Return, Get Out and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. The future is Tessa Thompson, the best thing about Thor: Ragnarok. The future is Michael B. Jordan, Chadwick Boseman, Lupita Nyong'o, all the team behind the upcoming Black Panther film, helmed by Ryan Coogler. The future is Barry Jenkins, director of best picture winner Moonlight. The future is Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, Adam Driver and Kelly Marie Tran, the new faces of the most popular franchise ever. The future is Alice Lowe, a force to be reckoned with. Writing, directing and starring in a feature film is difficult enough. She did all of that while heavily pregnant. Oh, and it was her debut feature. It’s called Prevenge and it rocks. The future is Ava Duvernay, a beacon of hope- cannot wait for A Wrinkle in Time, which drops early next year. The future is Sean Baker, the most empathetic filmmaker working today. The future is Patty Jenkins and Gal Godot who have revolutionised the superhero film and inspired a generation of little girls with Wonder Woman. The future is Kumail Nanjiani and Zoe Kazan, who I’ll follow in whatever they do after The Big Sick. The Future is Jordan Peele, the most exciting new director. The future is GRETA GERWIG, mumblecore queen turned saviour of cinema.

So, what did I learn this year? Well, Agent Dale Cooper is certainly one of the best characters of all time. But most of all: amongst the darkness of everything that’s happened within the film industry in 2017... there’s hope.

The future is bright.

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thepageofapillow · 7 years

Text

you better run, run, run, cause here he comes.

Summary: All Hongbin wanted to do was drink so much he forgot his own name, but he ended up with a whole lot more.

Pairing: Hongbin/Sanghyuk

Word Count: 2.8K

Also on AO3!

A/N: This is based 100% on a dream can you believe it???? This is also really sloppy so I’m sorr y. Also they’re American for some reason I guess. Also if you can get the song reference in the title lmk because if you do you’re a real MVP.

When it comes to Hongbin’s character, you would usually know where he would hang out at his college. Most often he’d be in the library studying and getting assignments done early, and if he wasn’t there, he’d be in his dorm, dicking around on his computer. You would never guess a photography major like him would be at a frat party that started at 11PM.

Hongbin would have went to bed by that time, but the opportunity was too good to pass up. Hey, midterms were stressing him the fuck out, and all he wanted to do was to drink so much he forgot his own name. Right now, the mission is about 50% complete. He figures he’d just have to down two more of these red solo cups and he’ll be good. He ambles around, spotting a huge crowd of sorority girls whooping and cheering as loud as the bass of the speakers, if not louder.

Two guys were in the center of the circle kissing before one backed away and declared the other the winner. The girls laughed and then looked around with their piercing gazes. Hongbin guessed this was a game of some kind, probably something he’d know the name of by his occasional all-nighter delirium searches on Google. One girl with obscenely choppy blonde hair pulls at his bicep, pointing at him obnoxiously. “How about this guy!?!??”

The girls cheer and she pushes him into the circle, while a guy from another part of the crowd pushes in the one person Hongbin really didn’t want to see tonight. Han Sanghyuk, confused and obviously drunker than anyone else Hongbin has seen the entire night, is pushed into the circle as well. The same guy who coaxed Sanghyuk in is whispering in Hongbin’s ear now. “You’re playing gay chicken, you know what that is?”

Unfortunately Hongbin’s eyes widen at the guy’s proclamation, while Sanghyuk looks completely oblivious on the other side. Hongbin knows what this game is, and Han Sanghyuk is the farthest person that he’d ever consider playing it with. A giggle escapes Sanghyuk’s lips as he tries not to fall over. Man, this kid is hammered. Hongbin didn’t even think freshmen were invited to these kinds of parties, especially ones with such a nerdy major like physics.

But gay chicken is something that Hongbin has never played, well, simply because it’s usually the straight guys that end up laughing and pulling away and saying, ‘Okay I quit, you win, you win, ew!’ It’s not usually commonplace for a gay guy to be tied up in this weird straight game. But maybe it’s because someone here knows that Hongbin wants to eliminate Han Sanghyuk from the Earth so he can never see his stupid glasses glint in the hallway or his impolite speech patterns in math class.

However, those glasses are nowhere to be found as the guy grabs Hongbin’s arm, shouting over to the crowd as he pushes Hongbin somewhere new. “I got a feeling this one will be interesting, girls! They’ll be in a room!” Hongbin’s eyebrows furrow as he tries to fight the muscly guy holding him by the arms and pushing him up the stairs. Both boys get thrown into a bedroom with a gigantic king size bed. The guy dusts off his hands and places them on his hips. “Condoms and lube are in the top drawer on the right. Have fun and let me know who comes first!”

Hongbin is about to hyperventilate when he hears this, but he makes sure to back out at the last opportunity possible. “Wait!”

The guy stills, sighing in annoyance and quirking a brow. “Yeah, what’s up?”

“I’m not doing this!” Hongbin stamps his feet like a child throwing a temper tantrum and crosses his arms. There is no way in hell he would be doing anything remotely sexual with the impolite little shithead sitting on the bed with faraway eyes.

“500 bucks. Take it, or leave it. All we hear about is your disgust for the kid, so make up.”

So they did know. Hongbin was in a dilemma. He wanted to hate Sanghyuk for the rest of his life, detest him so much that his ego would be reduced to the size of a pea. But on the other hand, he was so broke right now. His bank account was crying. He needed new equipment for his new course next semester and his parents were dry too. With that realization, he had to do it. He could even back out after one kiss, just to make them satisfied!

“Fine. But money up front,” Hongbin says, making his hand produce a come hither motion. The guy steps up with a sigh, placing 5 crisp bills in his hand and smiling like he knew something Hongbin didn’t. Now his digust was replaced by nerves for some reason.

“Bye bye, kids! Have fun, use protection!”

And with that, the door slams shut, being locked from the outside with the jangle of a key. How convenient, Hongbin thinks. But after that thought, his sass is evaporated when he makes eye contact with the one being he would rather throw out a window than kiss. Sanghyuk chuckles cockily as he tilts his head.

“I’m gonna win, you know,” he tosses out, fixing his hair with his left hand. Hongbin is shocked by the steady speech and seemingly sober movements. He narrows his eyes.

“You’re not even drunk, are you?”

At this, Sanghyuk chuckles again, checking the dirt under his fingernails. “Completely 100 percent sober, my dude. Did you know that I’m a really good actor? Maybe I should have majored in that instead.”

Hongbin growls at him. This kid, he’s so annoying. He’s about to speak up before Sanghyuk starts talking again. Yet another bad trait of his, Hongbin thinks.

“Think about it, though. I kiss you once and you back out. That’s just in your nature. Even after that handout that you just got, you’d back out in no time. I’m not stupid, I know about your petty little mind-feud with me. It hurts me, really,” Sanghyuk says, mock-sadness coating his voice.

Hongbin scoffs, shaking his head in disbelief. “Oh yeah, whatever. I’m only here for the money.”

Sanghyuk gets closer, grasping the right side of Hongbin’s neck and whipping him down to Sanghyuk’s level. “You a prostitute, now? How much for a good time?” Sanghyuk whispers, cackling seductively into Hongbin’s ear.

Hongbin whips back and retches in mock-disgust as Sanghyuk keeps laughing. “What the fuck are you on about?”

“Tell you what, pretty boy,” Sanghyuk starts, crossing his legs as he gets himself comfortable on the bed again, “if you lose, consider that 500 dollars you just got, gone. You know how fast I am. You’ll be dazed enough to forget those bills on the counter and I can just snatch ‘em up, just like that.” For emphasis, Sanghyuk snaps his fingers and smirks. Hongbin’s convinced this kid is an incarnation of Satan himself.

“But, if you win, I’ll leave you alone. Forever. Unless,” Sanghyuk ambles closer again, dancing his fingers on the skin on Hongbin’s neck once more. “you want strings attached.”

Hongbin removes Sanghyuk’s hand calmly from his neck and shuts his eyes, exhaling in annoyance. Having Sanghyuk ignore him forever sounded amazing right about now. No more constant jabs at his photography, or snarky remarks about how bad he did on the math test, or tripping him in the middle of the hallway. He’d be free from Freshman Hell™. Forever.

“Deal,” he says, without even thinking of the event to come. Sanghyuk smirks, pulling Hongbin down on the bed by the cuff of his shirt. He lands on the pillow underneath Sanghyuk. The younger boy licks his lips. This is war, Hongbin thinks.

He realizes it’s war even more so when Sanghyuk dips down to capture Hongbin’s lips between his own. At first the air is tangible, easily decipherable emotions ebbing off the two as they started their game of gay chicken, just nipping at each other’s lips like curious schoolchildren.

Sanghyuk’s lips are soft and pillowy, even when he’s pressing them insistently against Hongbin’s mouth like he’s low on something he needs to survive. Hongbin doesn’t understand it, but kisses back anyways. He doesn’t feel super disgusted by the kiss, because he thinks all kisses are nice, so he really isn’t feeling the need to pull back like he originally thought. That, coupled with the fact that he might lose 500 dollars and might let Sanghyuk go away from him forever is amazing for his motivation.

What started out as a simple press of lips stopped abruptly as Sanghyuk pulled away. Hongbin thought he won for a second before Sanghyuk dove in again, licking a seam across Hongbin’s lips and biting harshly on the bottom one when Hongbin wouldn’t open up. When Hongbin did open his mouth in shock, Sanghyuk’s tongue dipped inside and invaded Hongbin’s mouth with certainty. Kisses grew more frantic and deep as both of the boys’ breathing picked up speed.

Hongbin feels groans bubble up in his throat and he tries his best to suppress them. Sanghyuk catches on and harshly rips Hongbin’s arms from his sides and pins them above his head by the wrists. He pulls away from the kiss and Hongbin is scared by the insistent need to whine from the loss of Sanghyuk’s lips on his own. “I want to hear everything. Don’t push it down,” Sanghyuk commands. Hongbin, for some reason, can’t open his mouth to retort, so he finds himself nodding.

Sanghyuk smirks and Hongbin’s insides melt like a chocolate bar in scorching heat. What the fuck is happening? Sanghyuk dives in for another kiss as he moves one hand away from Hongbin’s wrists to slide underneath his shirt. His fingers ghost over the planes of Hongbin’s abs and moves one hand to one nipple, tweaking it. Hongbin moans like a pornstar then and Sanghyuk chuckles into Hongbin’s mouth.

“Fuck, I can’t wait to hear you beg,” Sanghyuk says, mouthing at Hongbin’s jaw and leaving light kisses there. Hongbin breathes heavily as his stomach churns with anticipation and another foreign feeling he’s not used to. He honestly can’t believe he’s liking this, and right now he’s blaming it on the fact that he’s gay and any boy can make him feel like this. But something nagging in the back of his mind is contesting that idea.

Sanghyuk nibbles on Hongbin’s neck, prompting the older to try and weave a hand into Sanghyuk’s hair. The boy lets him, and Hongbin tries his best not to pull too hard as Sanghyuk marks him harshly all over his neck. Hongbin bites his lip as Sanghyuk tugs at Hongbin’s shirt. “Off,” he commands, and Hongbin lifts it up with ease and lays back down eagerly, much to his own chagrin. It’s like two sides of Hongbin’s subconscious are battling it out as Sanghyuk kisses down Hongbin’s abdomen, and it’s kind of crazy.

Sanghyuk licks in the dips between Hongbin’s abs and Hongbin tugs harshly at Sanghyuk’s hair. Sanghyuk removes Hongbin’s hand and grinds down roughly on Hongbin as a punishment. “We play by my rules, pretty boy,” Sanghyuk says as he unbuttons Hongbin’s jeans, pulling them off quickly and leaving the boy only in his boxers. Sanghyuk removes his own shirt and pants and stays in the same state. Only now does Hongbin realize that they’re both hard and that this could very well go in the direction the guy earlier was pointing to.

But at the same time, Hongbin finds himself feeling that he doesn’t mind. That he would definitely like Sanghyuk to fuck him into next week. He really hasn’t gotten laid in an awfully long time, and he’s trying desperately to make that the reason to justify his extreme want for Sanghyuk, but it’s crumbling as soon as Sanghyuk’s hand dips down into his boxers and palms his erection ever so teasingly.

Fuck it, he decides. I’m attracted to Sanghyuk.

He lets himself go, then, letting every sound threatening to escape go and his resolve with it. Sanghyuk, relishing in those sounds, does not let up on the tentative teasing stroke of his hand and light feather touches on Hongbin’s inner thigh. It’s almost as if he’s coaxing something out of the older boy, and Hongbin’s pride is dangling on the tiniest little thread.

“Please,” Hongbin peeps, almost inaudible over the sound of their heavy breathing. Sanghyuk hears it, though, and smirks.

“Might want to be careful, Binnie. Whoever comes first loses,” Sanghyuk whispers, taking off Hongbin’s boxers ever so slowly along with his own. Hongbin can hear his heartbeat quicken ever so slightly at the pet name, and keeps it together as best as he can as Sanghyuk digs in the drawer to unearth the two things that were established early on. Sanghyuk opens up the cap on the lube and drenches his fingers in them as he begins to prep Hongbin.

Hongbin had no idea he could become even more whiny until two fingers abruptly entered him. Usually it started with one, but Hongbin could tell Sanghyuk was getting as impatient as Hongbin was. He thrusts them quickly in and out, scissoring them and opening Hongbin up as quickly as he can. He tries to find the magic spot and succeeds rather quickly, making Hongbin louder than he ever was before. He reckons the whole house can hear them. Sweet.

Sanghyuk adds another finger and opens Hongbin up a little more until it reduces the older boy to a squirming mess, toes curling in and all. He pulls them out, and then grabs a condom and rips it open with his teeth. “You ready?” Sanghyuk asks, rolling it onto his dick as he positions himself. Hongbin gulps and finds himself nodding. He was so close to orgasm when Sanghyuk was fingering him that he needs to hold on a bit longer. He wants to experience it with the younger.

Sanghyuk kneels and lifts Hongbin’s legs up onto his shoulders as he slides in, making sure to give the boy time to adjust as he keeps his hold on the boy’s legs. When Hongbin gives the okay, Sanghyuk begins to shove himself roughly into Hongbin. Hongbin’s moans become broken and more frequent as Sanghyuk hits him right in the prostate like he was meant for it. Sanghyuk dips down to kiss Hongbin, and it isn’t as rough as before. It’s tender and loving, and Hongbin can hear his heart beat in his eardrums and his stomach churn with that same weird feeling.

He holds on for as long as he can, but eventually he finds himself nearing the edge as Sanghyuk pulls out, soiling the condom. He comes then, spurting thick ropes of cum on his belly as Sanghyuk ties up the condom. For the most part, he came untouched. He hasn’t orgasmed that hard in his life.

“You won,” Sanghyuk says. Hongbin is exhausted and a sheen of sweat covers his body. He just wants to cuddle with Sanghyuk and sleep for eternity. He then realizes the conditions of the game and turns to Sanghyuk, who is now next to him on the pillows and shutting his eyes. He panics. He realizes he’d like to do this more, and also cuddle with Sanghyuk.

“You were right. About the whole strings thing. I mean, I can put all the petty bullshit behind me if you can.” Hongbin is nervous. What if this was just a meaningless fuck for Sanghyuk? What if Hongbin is reading the situation wrong and he was the only one who felt like that last kiss meant something? What if he’s just a big dumb idiot!?

Sanghyuk opens one eye and laughs. “You fucker. I wanted to be the one to confess first.”

Hongbin furrows his brow, lifting himself from the laying position and looking at Sanghyuk incredulously. “What do you mean, confess first?”

Sanghyuk laughs again, shaking his head. He has has arm propped up on the pillow. “I like you, moron. I thought it was obvious from all the teasing, but you interpreted it as this weird grudge I had against you. You’re cute and I like your personality and your photography. There. Happy?”

Hongbin feels betrayed by his own brain. “This whole fucking time I could have been having great sex like that and you didn’t even tell me!?!?”

Sanghyuk can’t hold in his laughter anymore and he bursts out, holding his stomach and kicking the covers at the end of the bed. “I can’t breathe, oh my god, this is too hilarious!!”

Hongbin hits him on the shoulder harshly and Sanghyuk’s laughter dies down. He runs a hand through his hair and smoulders. “So, I was that good?”

“Shut the fuck up and cuddle with me until I pass out,” Hongbin says, laying down again. “I don’t have time for this talk yet.”

“Okay, boyfriend, whatever you say. You’re the little spoon though.” Sanghyuk says with a wink. Hongbin groans and rolls over.

“You’re a dick.”

“I know.”

#thepageofapillow #Hyukbin #Hyukbin smut #Hyukbin fic #VIXX #VIXX fic

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