#also a gay teen protagonist

[etirabys]

meandering post about reading Orson Scott Card again

I've been offline starting at 9pm every day (except once. I was drunk at karaoke and asked for anons at 8:30pm) for six weeks, with the result that in befuddled boredom two nights ago I picked up Orson Scott Card's Songmaster from the house bookshelf.

I read Ender's Game and three sequels when I was a teen thought the books were mid. Since those are OSC's best works I assumed he had nothing more interesting to offer me and didn't try more of him for fifteen years, but Songmaster was compelling enough that I immediately afterwards picked up The Memory of Earth, the first book of a pentalogy.

TMoE is extremely my jam: after humanity blows itself up on Earth, AIs monitor thriving human civilizations in the planets that survivors managed to escape to, and suppress any tech that enables large scale violence by exerting low key mind control via satellites. But forty million years pass, many of the satellites break down, and the AI needs help from humans to restore capabilities. Because as its control wanes, people are starting to e.g. conceive of airplanes or bombs again, and override the injunctions against entering military alliances more than two edges of connection away.

The AI is worshipped as a god all over the planet, but the fourteen year old protagonist that becomes one of the AI's agents tells the AI from the beginning that he'll break with it if its morality seems wrong to him. I like the fourteen year old – unlike Ender or Songmaster's protagonist (adult minds piloting ten year old bodies), he's a normal gifted kid who's unpopular 50% due to his ego and big mouth and 50% because he's socially inept and offends people even when he's trying to be nice.

Songmaster is also partly about a permanent solution to large-scale violence, albeit through one guy who establishes a monopoly on violence and sweeps in pax galactica. Both it and TMoE are preoccupied with the eradication of suffering from evil / human violence, which is closer to my resonant frequency than narratives about defeating particular people or ideologies. At the moment I can't think of any other book with such an insistent focus on the matter than T.H. White's The Once and Future King. It's hard to make a compelling story out of, and I don't think Songmaster really succeeds, but TMoE's premise is well suited to explore that. (I'm also enjoying the matriarchal culture where everyone is expected to have multiple serial-monogamous marriages.) After reading 70% of TMoE last night I wrote:

Usually when I read fiction there's a small part of me going, how can I use this as fodder for my own growth, how can I remix or improve or react against this, how do the author and I measure against each other? (If the quality and content are at an anti-sweet spot, the small part becomes quite large and I feel all teeth towards the author.) But on occasion I read something so close that the absence of that measuring-feeling is its own sensation – ego departs, or at least is split across two bodies. There's just amity and recognition

And it's pretty interesting to feel this way about Card for, well, the reasons.

(If you're familiar with Card drama none of the following will be new to you; I'm coming to it fresh so the rest of this post is me going "uh... wow")

I vaguely knew he was a homophobic Mormon who'd gotten into fights about gay stuff, but I couldn't tell from the Ender books I read. But in Songmaster his issues spring off the page in such a weird way. Every fifth Goodreads review of this book is "Card, u gay?" because, well,

(One review, possibly from a fellow Mormon, that went "Card, it's so sinful of you to be this gay in your novel". Why did he write this book that would predictably make everyone mad...)

it's full of gay male desire. The protagonist (Ansset) is approximately a castrato and characters notice him sexually a lot. The first and only time Ansset has sex it's with a Kinsey 4-5 male character he loves, who's married to a woman but has fallen in love with Ansset. It turns out the drugs Ansset took to prolong his singing career painfully and only-kinda-figuratively explode your balls when you have your first orgasm and you'll never feel sexual desire again. (You'd think his loving teachers would have warned him of that, but, whatever, they didn't.) The other guy is literally castrated in punishment for inadvertently torturing a highly valuable castrato. It's pretty bald: GAY SEX IS ALMOST IRRESISTIBLY TEMPTING BUT YOU SHOULDN'T DO IT.

(Sidenote: both Ansset and the guy's wife are very close and have a "there's enough love to go around" attitude about the gay sex initially, before they go "wait Josif is a SERIAL MONOGAMIST... he can only love one person at a time... the moment he had the gay sex his marriage was destroyed". It's funny in a mildly stupid way that Card would set up this parable of homosexuality destroying lives and a marriage but almost everyone involved is peacefully ready to sail into an open marriage. I guess it makes sense if you want to say very clearly that THE GAY PART IS THE BAD PART)

which is fascinating to me, because... why would you tell on yourself like that

(81k also told me secondhand of an essay? interview? where Card openly says "we have to stand against legalizing gay marriage because everyone will get gay married and society will collapse", so that's informing my read of Songmaster as well)

I am pretty dang open about my personal life online but if I had a lot of feelings I thought were disgusting and immoral I would not write a novel dripping with those feelings before pointedly castrating the leads for them. Especially if it wasn't relevant to the actually highbrow themes of (checks notes) winning over your adversaries with kindness and never relinquishing your monopoly on violence. I would be so so so so embarrassed to let this go to print, it's so psychologically transparent, what was he thinking

(Well, I assume he's a very different person with different social incentives. For all I know, people in his church went "hey Orson we read your book and it's clear that you're gay but signaling strongly that you won't give into the gay feelings, we're here for you, it was really brave of you to publish this".)

#rambl #orson scott card #eti reads stuff #eti reads the homecoming saga #songmaster #content note: homophobia

[fahye]

book recs sept/oct 2023

THE SPEAR CUTS THROUGH WATER by simon jiminez -- I have no idea how to describe this. best book I've read in a year. absolutely gutting and beautiful and intricately put-together fantasy about two young men escorting an escaped god-empress on a pilgrimage to bring down an empire. but actually it's so much more intimate than that. please please please read this book, it deserves the world. yes it's gay.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO by jessica dettmann -- an aussie romcom tailored specifically to me, someone who imprinted on the kenneth branagh much ado about nothing movie. very meta and genre aware, lively and touching, a heap of fun.

LOOKING GLASS SOUND by catriona ward -- also very meta! it's uhhh about a bisexual disaster teen's coming-of-age summer, and also about the decades-later fight over who gets to control the narrative of that summer. and hauntings. and serial killers. every single one of ward's books is its own unique thing and a wonder to behold.

THE NOBLEMAN'S GUIDE TO SEDUCING A SCOUNDREL by kj charles -- if i haven't made you read any kjc books by now then what are we doing here. I don't know how she keeps getting better and better and better. this one is another slippery liar/stubbornly goodhearted but bad-tempered lord pairing. I adored every word.

NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS by jodi mcalister (ARC) -- 3rd book in her series set on a bachelor-like tv show, and my hands-down favourite. friends to lovers but also make it schemer 4 schemer!! I would die for this ruthless tv villain and her sleep deprived gremlin producer and their intense, searing, incredible romance entirely free of conventional moral compasses.

THE HOLLOW PLACES by t. kingfisher -- how are her books both so hilarious and so wildly, skin-crawlingly unsettling?? I think it's because of how relatable the protagonist is. I would react EXACTLY like kara if I found an eerie alternate dimension nexus made of willow trees in the walls of my uncle's weird museum. superb and very readable horror.

THE GILDED CROWN by marianne gordon (ARC) -- fantasy with a sapphic romance between a death-witch and the assassinated princess she was hired to raise from the dead. yes you're right that DOES sound amazing. the writing is assured and smooth and propulsive; if you like stories with a heightened mythic/fairytale feel, you'll love this.

#book recs

[waxesnostalgic]

18th Century Waistcoat

So one of my favorite webtoons, Heir's Game, ended in December and I was so devastated. I didn't want it to end! I decided to make some of the clothes the protagonist wears in the webcomic to assuage my grief. It's set in a sort of fantasy world with 18th and early 19th century costumes that are quite close to historically accurate. I also thought it was a shame there were none of these gorgeous full-skirted waistcoats in the Sims (at least, not at the time I started making this nine months ago... has anyone else made one yet?) However, it's not totally historically accurate as it's also kind of fanart.

But this would probably work for mid-18th century. I recreated a lot of the looks seen in the webtoon and also made some plain swatches for less dapper gentlemen.

Download: SFS (with PSD) | Dropbox

This is a fullbody outfit for teen/adult/elder without included shoes or stockings. (My shoes are located here). More information and closeups below the cut.

There's a lot of embroidery on these waistcoats. The one above I hand drew to mimic one that appears frequently in the comic, but all of the others I borrowed from existing Sims clothing, mostly Indian wedding clothes. Those 18th century Europeans certainly loved taking stuff from India... I had some ideas for drawing some elaborate designs on these, but then I remembered that I'm not really that good at drawing textures. There are a lot of 18th century creators in the sims community who are, so I hope that some of you might recolor this one.

The back of real life waistcoats of this type were usually linen or cotton, sometimes not even dyed, as it was intended to be hidden beneath the coat out in public. However, it does look prettier all in the same fabric type, doesn't it?

The weights on this mesh were tricky, which is part of the reason I waited close to nine months after starting it to finish it. I think it looks pretty good for the normal sims activities, but I found when posing in CAS that the waist area looks strange with a lot of CC poses. I don't think I can fix that without messing up the other weights, so I'll just be leaving it as it is.

Also, please read Heir's Game! It's really good, and you can read it for free on webtoon. Lots of political intrigue, sword duels, violence and it's also very gay.

#s4cc #s4mm #fullbody #18th century #ts4cc

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

Hey, you!

Yeah, you!

Do you crave more ✨canon queer stories✨ in your fandom experience? Are you begging for more major character representation that you don’t have to headcanon for yourself?

Then have I got the kickstarter for you!

The Tin Can Bros (a comedy trio and makers of live theatre, digital sketches, webseries, you name it! You might know them from all the work they’ve done with Starkid—founding Tin Can Brothers Joey and Brian played Ron and Quirrell in A Very Potter Musical) are launching a brand new season of projects, most of which contain QUEER MAJOR CHARACTERS AND THEMES. These guys have got gays, they’ve got lesbians, they’ve got trans and gnc characters, they’ve got wholesome first love and Hannigram levels of fucked-up toxicity. It’s a whole cornucopia!! They’re planning to produce work in Los Angeles, NYC, London, Edinburgh, and Adelaide, but there will be digital tickets so you can watch where ever you are!

We’ve got:

-Two Rocky Horror-style concerts of the cult-hit, spy-movie parody musical Spies Are Forever. Gay protagonist who will sear himself into your heart! Seriously, his relationship with fellow spy Owen will emotionally destroy you for at least seven years.

-A concert of the developing musical This Could Be on Broadway, which follows a group of high school kids putting on a production of The Matrix: The Musical (not a show in real life) in their theatre department. A bunch of the central kids are canonically some flavor of queer, and there’s a central, very sweet lesbian romance that includes a trans character. She’s played trans actress Esther Fallick, who also worked with TCB as a consultant to make the character and show as authentic as possible. Seriously, if you want to see a trans teen thriving in their own skin, this is the show for you.

-An Edinburgh Fringe Fest production of The Solve It Squad Returns, a Scooby-Doo parody that follows the parodic versions of the Scooby Gang when they reunite as fucked-up adults to finally confront the almost-twenty-years-past traumatic murder of their dog Cluebert. I promise it’s funnier than it sounds. Esther, the Velma-esque super genius, is gender non-conforming and identifies with they/them pronouns. They also have a girlfriend WITH a boyfriend!

-A workshop reading of the QUEER SCI-FI TELEVISION COMEDY PILOT Intelligent Life. Unlike the other projects I’ve mentioned, this one is new to the TCB fans, but will follow a pair of ex-boyfriends forced to survive together in an extra-terrestrial colony. From the sound of it, there will be plenty of queer supporting characters as well. This frankly sounds like it could be tumblr’s dream show, and it’d be great to support its development.

-The Great Debate—a live comedy game show where comedians debate silly things. While this obviously won’t have narrative gay rep like the other projects, it will showcase gay talent (at the very least, Tin Can Brother Corey will participate in every show) and may include debates involving queer topics.

-Gross Prophets, in which three wannabe gurus/cult leaders lead a seminar on the path to enlightenment. This is a completely new stage musical so I honestly don’t know if it will contain any queer characters or themes. But the TCB queer track record is pretty good!

Guys, I’m so genuinely so excited by this season. But all this awesome queer art won’t happen unless we get their kickstarter funded. And they need our help! So let’s get fundraising!!

TLDR; Comedy group Tin Can Bros are attempting to fund a season positively filled with queer stories and characters, and they need help! If you want to support the creation of queer theatre and the development of queer TV, consider checking them out and giving to the kickstarter!

#seriously guys we’re always talking about how we want more queer stories #and content #and these guys are trying to give them to us! #let’s make it happen instead of just sitting around with wistful thinking #starkid #team Starkid #tin can bros #Tinlightenment #queer #queer community #queer stories #gay #lesbian #trans #gay stories #gay theatre #queer theatre #lesbian theatre #lesbian stories #trans theatre #trans stories

[genderkoolaid]

okay i just read an INCREDIBLE apocalyptic/supernatural/religious horror novel with a trans gay male protagonist and incredible portrayals of religious trauma, body horror, and reclamation of your identity being seen as like, screwed up and disgusting. i know this isn’t the kind of thing you usually post about but it’s such a good damn book i had to recommend it. it’s called Hell Followed With Us by andrew joseph white. it made me sob at so many parts and it depicts found family queerness so well and has a canon autistic character and AUUUUHHHHHH it’s so good. if anyone wants to read it there’s a copy up on OceanOfPdf !!

That sounds awesome!!!

Here's the description from the author's website:

Sixteen-year-old trans boy Benji is on the run from the cult that raised him—the fundamentalist sect that unleashed Armageddon and decimated the world’s population. Desperately, he searches for a place where the cult can’t get their hands on him, or more importantly, on the bioweapon they infected him with. But when cornered by monsters born from the destruction, Benji is rescued by a group of teens from the local Acheson LGBTQ+ Center, affectionately known as the ALC. The ALC’s leader, Nick, is gorgeous, autistic, and a deadly shot, and he knows Benji’s darkest secret: the cult’s bioweapon is mutating him into a monster deadly enough to wipe humanity from the earth once and for all. Still, Nick offers Benji shelter among his ragtag group of queer teens, as long as Benji can control the monster and use its power to defend the ALC. Eager to belong, Benji accepts Nick’s terms…until he discovers the ALC’s mysterious leader has a hidden agenda, and more than a few secrets of his own.

Also look at this gorgeous cover:

#m. #ask box

[ladyloveandjustice]

My Favorite New Manga and Graphic Novels I Read in 2023

It's time to take a look at the comics and manga I read this year! I read  a whopping 78 manga and graphic novels in all. Here's a link to my Goodreads year in books (the manga is at the beginning, the novels start with Siren Queen) and my storygraph wrap up.

I also read 36 novels! If you want to see my favorites, check out my reviews here!

And finally, I've got the continuing manga series I've enjoyed this year here, so check that post out too!

The Magic Fish by Trung Le Nguyen

This is a tale about a first-generation Vietnamese-American boy struggling with coming out to his mother. He connects with his mother through fairytales-- she uses them to express her journey as an immigrant, and he uses them to explore his queerness and identity as a Vietnamese kid growing up in America. It's an absolutely gorgeous book full of Trung Le Nguyen's signature stunning art. The fantastical, ethereal fairy tales are weaved beautifully into the lives of the characters. The book explores how fairy tales can form connection, can express culture, can tap deeply into something real and true, and can offer tragedy and catharsis. The protagonist uses fairy tales to write his own story, and the ending is lovely and moving.

Exit Stage Left: The Snagglepuss Chronicles by Mark Russell and Mike Feehan

You may know Mark Russell from his darker, socially aware re-imagining of the Flintstones, which made quite a splash on Tumblr with this post. Well, I had pleasure of meeting him at a local convention, and I finally got his comic re-imagining of Snagglepuss, also of Hanna-Barbera. He re-imagines the titular pink puma as a closeted gay playwright in the 50's dealing with McCarthyism. It's as wild as it sounds,but also really digs into the politics of the time, the struggle of standing against oppression and how art fights through suppression and censorship. It's tragic, hopeful, poignant and full of historical references. I enjoyed it ! Definitely be cautious if you're deeply disturbed by homophobia and suicide.

The Summer Hikaru Died by Mokumokuren

A story about a teenage boy, Yoshiki, who realizes that his best friend and crush Hikaru has died and been replaced by a strange eldritch being who is imitating him. But, missing his loved one and desperate to cling to any piece of him, Yoshiki decides to keep on having a relationship with this mysterious entity. This book's horror is visceral and sublime, especially the bizarre, creepy, beautiful body horror involving the being who replaced Hikaru. It's an exploration of anxieties involving grief, relationships, and sexuality that hits just right, and the atmosphere layered with dread is top notch. I love me some messed up relationships and unknowable queer monsters, and this book delivers.

Chainsaw Man, Look Back and Goodbye Eri by Tatsuki Fujimoto

Chainsaw Man needs no introduction, but I did end up really enjoying the story of the doggy-devil boy hunting other devils. It got so tragic and intense at the end, with lots of great surreal horror imagery and darkly funny moments. I'm impressed it went so hard, though the random powers that kept piling up made what was happening hard to follow at times, especially in fights. I'm also enjoying the current weird arc starring a class-A disaster girl and the demon sharing her body.

Look Back

I really do enjoy how Fuijimoto writes messy pre-teen/teenage girls. They ring so true. The manga follows the fraught friendship between two girls as they create manga, exploring the struggle of art mixing with real relationships, and how someone keeps creating after tragedy. It's a little hard to follow at times (especially since I have to differentiate the leads based on hairstyle), but it's a good read.

Goodbye Eri

Probably my least favorite of the three, but it's a fun read- a weird ride that examines the thin line between fiction and reality in art and makes good use of Fujimoto's cinephile background and signature gaslight gatekeep girlboss characters.

Is Love the Answer? by Uta Isaki

The story follows a teenage girl, Chika, who has always struggled with not being attracted to anyone. When Chika enters college, she meets queer people all across the spectrum of asexuality, and starts exploring her own identity. As an ace, this is the best story about asexuality that I've read. It was a nuanced look at asexuality and queerness and all the variations. Chika's journey and how she found her community was moving and poignant. It's a honest, moving look at relationships and identity, and how complicated and hard to define both of those things can be. I loved the moments of Chika imagining herself as an alien to explore and cope, and how she bonded with people through magical girl shows and other geekery. My favorite new manga of the year, it really connected with me!

The Girl that Can’t Get a Girlfriend by Mieri Hiranishi

Oh girl, I've been there. This is a fun autobiographical comic about a butch4butch lesbian's struggles finding a partner in a word that favors butch/femme, and it's just an honest look at the messiness of loneliness and relationships. I also appreciate that crushing on Haruka in Sailor Moon and becoming a HaruMichi stan was the beginning the author's queer awakening because uh...same! She has taste, and is truly relatable.

Qualia the Purple: The Complete Manga Collection by Hisamitsu Ueo and Shirou Tsunashima

See my review of the light novel here for my general thoughts on the story, since it's adapted pretty faithfully. I do think the manga is overall the best experience though, because the illustrations break up the detailed explanations of quantum mechanics a bit, and it includes a bit of extra content that fleshes things out, especially withthe ending.

The Single Life: 60 year old lesbian who is single and living alone by Akiko Morishima

Just like it says on the tin, this focuses on a 60-year-old single lesbian. And definitely the shortest thing on here, since only one 30 page chapter is out.  It's a grounded story about a woman looking back on her journey to finding her identity, touching on sexism in the workplace and other challenges. It paints a portrait of a proudly gay elder who's still perfectly content being single and feels fulfilled by the life she had rather than regretting past relationships. I definitely want to see more.

Daemons of the Shadow Realm by Hiromu Arakawa

Arakawa's latest, the story is about a boy who lives in a small village with his little sister is imprisoned and has to carry out a mysterious duty...but then the village is attacked, supernatural daemons awaken, and everything he knows might be wrong. I'm enjoying this fun romp so far! It delivers an really nice plot twist right out the gate (and an excellent subversion of the usual shonen "must-protect-my-saintly-sister" narratives). It boasts Arakawa's usual fun cast and interesting world (and cool ladies). There's some slight tone and pacing issues in the first part- there's so much time spent explaining mechanics the lead doesn't really get to react to his life turning upside down. But it starts smoothing out by the second volume. I'm excited to see what's next!

Superman: Space Age by Mark Russell and Michael Allred

This is a retelling of Superman set throughout the late fifties to early eighties that has Superman interact with the political and social upheaval of the time and question his own role in things. It explored the Superman mythos through a lot of cool new angles, and has a good Lois (why yes she would break Watergate) which is how I always measure a Superman adaptation. My one complaint is, while I liked some of the things it did with Batman, the ending with the Joker was pretty weak. The ending of the overall comic will also be bizarre for anyone not uses to how weird comics can get, but I think I dug it.

#DRCL by Shin'ichi Sakamoto

A manga retelling of Dracula that focuses on Mina as the protagonist and imagines the characters at an English prep school. It adds a lot of  diversity to the characters  and has exquisite, evocative art. I'm curious where it will go and what it  intends to do with all it's changes (especially Lucy), because right now it's mostly vibes and creepiness and the direction isn't clear.

#year in comics #manga #yuri #the summer hikaru died #the magic fish #chainsaw man #superman #daemons of the shadow realm #drcl midnight children #is love the answer? #superman: space age #goodbye eri #snagglepuss #my reviews #drcl #the girl who can't get a girlfriend #the single life #trung le nguyen #qualia the purple #tatsuki fujimoto #hiromu arakawa

[luulapants]

Goncharov (1973) is a perfect example of how fandom creates a shell around a piece of media and then slowly erodes the core it was originally built upon.

I have been in two fandoms that echo chambered their way to a theory invalidating all of canon, thereby making the source material itself irrelevant. One is the “Scott is an unreliable narrator” theory from the Teen Wolf fandom, which uses an odd POV choice from the series finale (the protagonist telling the story of their final battle to a character in a flash-forward) as evidence that the entire SHOW is actually him telling a heavily edited version of the story to make himself look like the hero. The other is the “Ghostfacers Effect” from the Supernatural fandom which also uses a weird POV episode (told through camera footage from a ghost hunting crew) to argue that, because the characters swear (bleeped out) in that episode but nowhere else in the series, this is evidence that the whole series is censored and edited by the author/God Chuck.

Both fandoms had animosity between fans and show creators, especially from queer shipping bases. Both have a huge amount of fanworks for those ships, and both experienced the “fandom echochamber” effect. Reinforced by positive responses from those seeking fluffy, kinky, self-insert, or otherwise wish-fulfilling stories, popular fanon characterizations slowly drifted until many fanworks featured characters virtually unrecognizable as their canon counterpart.

These drifts are addressed differently throughout fandom: Most people look at it and say, “No, that’s not canon, but it’s fun to read sometimes anyway,” or “This is just my headcanon.” Fanfic readers who never watched the source material are oblivious and perpetuate fanon characterizations as canon. Canon lovers decry the OOC-ness and complain that they can’t find fics about the actual characters they want to read about.

And some start arguing that fanon is actually more correct than canon.

Thus, the erosion of canon begins. “These episodes don’t count because the head writer was garbage.” “They made the character act like that to advance the plot - they wouldn’t have actually done that.” “Everything after this season is basically a different show.” “This happened off-screen but the network was too cowardly to show us.” And, finally, “Canon isn’t real.”

There is no canon. It’s a fanon shell wrapped around a desiccated center.

It’s Goncharov (1973).

Why do we need a source material? Canon isn’t real!

No shit canon isn’t real. It’s a fictional show.

You can’t argue the objective reality of a fictional story.

“But what’s the truth?”

None of it. None of it is the truth. It’s about werewolves. It’s about a gay angel. It’s not real.

You can argue objective reality in real-life historical accounts, analyzing sources and biases and excluded viewpoints. In a fictional story with an unreliable narrator, you can argue about what the text of the narration reveals about them. But there is no argument to be had about the objective reality of a fictional character. They are the text. Everything else is interpretation.

Why can’t your interpretation be what it is: an interpretation? Why can’t your headcanon be a headcanon? Why do you feel the need to saw the ladder off from underneath you? Why does fanon need to be more “true” than canon? Why would you rather have a fandom built on nothing than a fandom built on a text that disagrees with it?

Goncharov (1973) is the perfect canon because it will never disagree with fanon. It has no voice to do so. It is the perfect void that people have been trying to carve into their respective canons for years.

As Andrey said before his final betrayal, “You once told me you built your empire from nothing. You can’t get something from nothing, Goncharov. And so I fear we are nothing.”

#goncharov #fandom meta #fandom #supernatural #teen wolf #teen wolf meta #supernatural meta #if you are from a fandom that has created a similar theory PLEASE add a comment!!

[rocketrouquine]

So I watched the 2 last episodes of Loki (including the finale) and well I have thoughts.

All in all, except for the beginning and the last two episodes, I really thought it was not as good as the first one. (Probably because Majors as Timely was excruciating, I hate when actors are trying stuff like this, it feels forced, it doesn’t work, I wanted to punch him every time he was opening his mouth) BUT …lokius. Yeah let’s talk about it.

It’s crazy to me how in the first season I was all for sylki because I thought their relationship and feelings were really well done and realised (whereas I saw what the mobius shippers saw but thought that it wasn’t really there there) BUT in the second season, I felt absolutely nothing between Loki and Sylvie. There was no more chemistry at all (it was like it never existed in the first place, it was bizarre) and even the actress playing Sylvie played it like a sibling or a good friend kind of fed up, just want to be left alone, not missing him for a second. And Loki pining for her but like a nerd is pining for a cheerleader in a bad teen movie (like boy, you’re not obligated to love her, you know), like you don’t even understand why except for the fact that it was here (emphasis on the was)

NOW Mobius and Loki in the second season ??? BAM 💥 Like sheesh everything : chemistry, banter, touch, exchanged looks,protectiveness, an ease like they are really soulmates. You could feel it all in every single one of their exchanges, it really was like watching a romcom where the protagonist fails to see what is in front of him and I was getting frustrated each time he was going all misty eyes for her, I was like « come on man let her go, we don’t fucking care about her anymore !! » Then, the finale…. The scene with Loki coming to see Don at his place with all the tension of a « is he here for this or ? What should I do? » gay panic, with Loki fucking putting his hair back and taking a breath before going to see him, like WHAT ?! That’s not what a friend does before seeing one other !!! You know what you are doing, so commit for fuck’s sake. But well… then they did (sort of) with the end of the finale. And it gutted me.

The moment with Sylvie and Mobius looking at him through the window… we know you put her there because it would have been impossible to brush it off if it was just Mobius juxtaposed with Loki’s « for you » but we know. I mean the last exchange with Sylvie at Don’s place before Mobius is saying « let time pass » (gu-tted I tell you). You can see that Sylvie is like « whatever » and Mobius is devastated. Also the shot of him in the dialogue was just all Loki’s colors green and yellow (hers was in a normal sunlight, his backlit) That is not an accident, to have these colors you have to plan it the day of the shoot and enhance it in color grading during post. This was a choice.

Anyway, I am not a sylki shipper anymore (and I even question why I ever was, after seeing the second season : I’ll probably cut myself some slack if I do a rewatch of season 1 because it was well executed at the time) and I’m diving in the pits of despair of Lokius. These fuckers.

#Loki #lokius #loki finale spoilers #loki season 2 #loki x mobius #loki x sylvie #sylki #i changed ship and I have zero regret #why won’t you let them be happy #come on there is some room on this throne no? #on his laps there is room #wgaf about your sons where there is a god to pass the time with #fuck you Kevin and Sean go find your mom or something #loki meta #loki finale #a lot of thoughts

[animefeminist]

Queer time and the quarter-life crisis in contemporary yuri

Content warning for discussion of queerphobia and heteronormativity

Minor spoilers for Catch These Hands! and Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon

Historically, the tropes and traditions of yuri have been anchored in the school setting, meaning that the recent uptick in titles starring adult characters has been exciting and worthy of note. There’s an increasingly varied platter of yuri with post-high school protagonists, from college stories like How Do We Relationship? and I Don’t Know Which is Love; to workplace romances like Still Sick and I Love You So Much I Hate You; and even into the realm of genre fiction with titles like Otherside Picnic and SHWD. All these series do the valuable work of demonstrating that while schoolgirl yuri is surely going to remain a beloved mainstay, yuri can also function effectively outside the walls of the school setting and outside the structure of adolescent romance. Series that focus on adult characters also open the door to a storytelling niche that’s still relatively underrepresented despite the rich narrative potential it offers: the post-adolescence queer coming-of-age story. Or, in other words, the gay quarter-life crisis.  

Narrative tradition would have it that a person “comes of age” in their teen years and then marches into adulthood fully formed. Character development that hinges on big, pivotal milestones like first love and first heartbreak are often central to the bildungsroman in its many forms across YA fiction and high school anime and everything in between. But those big coming-of-age moments can happen outside of your teens, too, especially if those traditional milestones of maturity were out of reach or not viable at the time. This is common for people across the LGBTQIA+ spectrum: someone who doesn’t discover their sexuality until later in life might not have their first romance until they’re well out of high school; someone who transitions as an adult may initially miss some quintessential teen experiences but instead have them when they’re much older; and of course some people may not hit those supposedly crucial goals of love, sex, and relationships at all.

Read it at Anime Feminist!

#doughnuts under a crescent moon #catch these hands #yuri #yuri manga #sapphic #asexual

[lizzieonka]

Cool dice

Cool Dice = nerd (complementary), cool socks, please tell me about your special interest/hyperfixation

Hmmm where do I start

I am really into Chinese bl (danmei). Most danmei are like shounen with the homoerotic undertones, except the sexual tension actually gets paid off!!!

And I say “like shounen” because, unlike Japanese BL, there’s a lot more emphasis on plot when it comes to danmei. Of course, there are also danmei focusing on romance, but the best ones have complex plots you don’t really find in shounen ai/yaoi.

Naming a few mainstream danmei, to start:

Heaven Official’s Blessing = fallen god reascends for the third time and befriends a demon king. Together, they get to the bottom of a lot of scandals in the heavenly court

The Husky and His White Cat Shizun = evil emperor is reborn to the year he was still a teen and is yet to do any evil stuff and once again has to face his loathed master (shizun) and obey him.

Little Mushroom = sentient mushroom takes over dead human body and infiltrates the human base to retrieve his stolen spore

The Earth is Online = humanity is pulled into a death game

Sha Po Lang = ancient industrial Chinese setting (steampunk???) about a prince and his Yifu + war and stuff

And some non-mainstream ones, but are my absolute favorites:

Fourth Perspective = Sci-fi where characters have “logic chains” that grant them random abilities (that may or may not be useful), but with limits. Main character’s logic chain allows him to see other people’s “logic factors”

I Became a God in a Horror Game = Guy who’s obsessed with money gets pulled into a death game and comes out victorious every time (his driving force is money). Very mindblowing arcs and well-written characters

Mermaid Effect = guy picks up “fish” on the beach and keeps it as a pet, but then it turned out to be a biological weapon

Si Tian Guan = guy who died in political drama gets reborn to the year before it all started and vows to not repeat the mistakes of the past and also protect the person most important to him. This one made me cry a lot that I still couldn’t finish it...

It’s like… these stories just happen to have gay protagonists. The characters being gay and in love aren’t their main selling points. They actually have stories to tell outside the romance and the fucking (which is often censored coz, yknow, China) and also explore a variety of deep themes, and that just makes them more interesting to me

#miyamiwu.msg #variabels #danmei #ask games #tgcf #2ha #little mushroom #the earth is online #fourth perspective #i became a god in a horror game #mermaid effect #si tian guan #miyamiwu.src #miyamiwu.recs

[gegengestalt]

Actually, the Brothers Karamazov is the worst book of all time. It's 1000 pages of the author's reactionary nonsense and mental illness. For a book preaching about how good God and free will are, it sure shows a lot of people being shitty and leading shitty lives. Don't even get me started on the protagonists... Aristocrats who don't know what it's like to actually struggle in life, aside from their psychosexual problems. Dmitri is a chauvinist who should be locked up or euthanized like a rabid dog. Ivan thinks his education gets him respect, but he's nothing but a hypocrite who thinks he's hot shit after he read three big books and made up Jesus fanfiction. Alexey is a loser who only blushes, trembles, preaches things other people have said and changes nothing around him. Smerdyakov, the only member of the working class, is depicted as misanthropic and effeminate (read: gay. Dostoevsky is very homophobic) because the author hates socialism. The women in this book are no better: one may be a lady and the other a fallen woman, but both are venomous vipers hiding behind smiles and declarations of love. They are the same, completely flat characters. Don't even get me started on that teen girl. Most unnecessary Dostoevsky character ever created.

The themes are all over the place because this crazy guy can't make up his mind about the message he wants to give. This book is self contradictory. The fact that so many people like it should make it obvious that it's inconsistent. In theory Dostoevsky champions Russian Orthodoxy, but Zosima is a hack and spits out so much heresy. The plot is also all over the place, with sidequests that nobody cares about, long tangents, a ridiculously big cast and a weird structure. What kind of madman starts his book with an infodump? Clearly he needed to tell the characters' sob story first to make us not hate them. But he failed. The last part of this book made me want to kill myself because it's just a boring recap. My favourite book is Book VIII because it doesn't have the long boring ramblings, and I get to see Dmitri suffer pathetically as a treat (because he deserves it).

The romantic relationships are extremely unrealistic. Dmitri and Grushenka just had the hots for each other for a while and will probably try to kill each other the minute they elope. Ivan and Katerina have zero chemistry and the author just made that up for the Victorian fangirl. Alexey is a CREEP, but this is obvious to any reader with common sense. The familial relationships also seem forced, and they all just come across as love starved mentally ill people who just want to ramble nonstop and dump their nonexistent problems on Alexey instead of going to therapy.

The only character I can get behind is Rakitin, because he's the only one who sees through everyone's bullshit and calls them out on what they are: a bunch of PERVERTS using big words and pretending they're anything more than that. Rakitin is honest about what he wants and I respect that. No wonder Dostoyevsky hates people like him. If his intention was to represent his country with this book, he succeeded, painting such a horrid town filled with insufferable and selfish people.

Easily the worst Dostoevsky book. Aside from Bobok and The Village of Stepachinkovo for a chuckle, all his work is worthless.

#gegengestalk #tbk #april fools

[princeescaluswords]

Not a Substitute for the Past

I have to push back against a particular take in Teen Wolf fandom that I feel is not only inaccurate but also a symptom of damaging behaviors in fandom.

Liam is not a Mini-Jackson and Mason is certainly not Danny-Lite.

Saying that Liam and Mason are some sort of cheap replacements for Jackson and Danny is to flatten their characters so much as to be unrecognizable. Of course, they are both best-friend duos, but there were literally four other 'best-friend duos' showcased in the production: Scott and Stiles; Allison and Lydia; Sebastian and Marcel; and Gabe and Nolan. Of them, Scott and Stiles are the most important; all the others, in their significantly different dynamics, serve to examine that relationship.

To me, the only thing that Liam and Jackson have in common is that they're white lacrosse stars. You would have to get rid of all their other character development in order to make the claim that Liam was a replacement for Jackson.

Jackson starts out as a rich, popular sports star, the captain of the lacrosse team, who strides through the halls of BHHS with the adoration of his peers, a smoking hot girlfriend, and protective and involved parents. As the seasons progress, we discover he has issues which spring from his learning that he was adopted and that his biological parents died on the night he was born. Jackson internalized this exterior tragedy, resulting in an impostor syndrome so strong that it had supernatural consequences. Because of this, he's insecure about his own value, and he reacts by being jealous, obsessive, and mean, frequently crossing the line into cruel. While his parents obviously care about him, he keeps them at arm's length. His relationship with Lydia is toxic; even though it's shown that both of them care about each other, it's too often mixed up with the false fronts they put up in order to maintain their status.

In contrast, Liam is younger, but he's definitely not popular. He's insecure, but this doesn't come from an exterior tragedy but a mental disorder: his I.E.D. His inability to cope with it effectively (which to Teen Wolf's credit is never shown as a moral deficiency) has lead to him being expelled from his former school, having an antagonistic relationship with his former coach and the entire Devenford lacrosse team, and having created Hayden as his nemesis. None-the-less, his relationship with his parents is strong, as far as we can tell and in contrast to Jackson. Dr. Geyer is a very good stepfather; we see that in Muted (4x03). Liam doesn't allow his insecurity to make him resent his parents; instead, he is driven to prove himself worthy of their love (which there is no indication that they would withhold). He doesn't have Jackson's status but he wants it, and while he can be stubborn, aggressive and competitive, he doesn't exhibits signs of jealousy or any willingness to hurt others to get what he wants. While he can lash out in anger, he's seldom mean and never cruel.

In addition, their relationships to the lead protagonist are very different, and that is NOT incidental. At the beginning of the show, Jackson's surface persona represents everything Scott aspires to (popularity, a girlfriend, to be seen and recognized) only for him to discover the hollowness beneath that facade. Then, in Season 4, Liam represents everything Scott has been forced to leave behind (the ability to be angry, the right to focus on himself, being taken care of rather than taking care of others, etc.). In the end, Liam isn't a replacement for Jackson because they don't serve the same function in the narrative.

To me, Danny and Mason are both gay -- though the idea that there is a designated gay character is so Eighties -- and they're both minorities -- which is just as Eighties -- but the very nature of their roles within their best-friend duos are vastly different.

Danny is Jackson's best friend on the lacrosse team, despite Jackson often being aggressive and sometimes even hostile toward him ("kind of always at a four"). Danny obviously cares but seems undisturbed by Jackson's more aggressive behavior, though he will push back if he thinks Jackson goes too far. Throughout the seasons, Danny exists in proximity to the supernatural goings-on, yet he manages to keep a distance even with several near misses, so much so that the audience was surprised that he had figured out Ethan's nature. It's not fear of danger; he can be transgressive when he wants to be. Danny manages people by drawing boundaries and respecting those boundaries in others.

On the other hand, Mason becomes far more active in Liam's supernatural life, and it's not because Liam doesn't try to keep him out of it. Mason is curious and involved, and he "wants to help." In fact, his desire to be there for Liam, in my opinion, often leads to Mason enabling Liam in his actions. When he meets the rest of the pack he's immediately willing to engage with them and help them out. He doesn't even hesitate to start the second-longest-lasting relationship in the show with the chimera Corey. Mason allows himself to be far more vulnerable in his relationship with Liam and with the supernatural in question, as compared to Danny's reticence. Another thing I appreciate is that neither approach toward friendship is shown as 'better' than the other. They're just different! (which is the point of this meta).

It will help if you think about these parallel scenes. In Venomous (2x06) Jackson and Danny are working out, and Danny remarks that Jackson is trying to lift far too much weight. Jackson snaps that he doesn't need a spotter, and Danny shrugs and leaves. "I'm hitting the shower. If I come back and you're lying dead underneath a pile of weight, I'm taking the Porsche." Danny still cares, but he's not going to let Jackson get under his skin. In A Promise to the Dead (4x11), the scene is recreated with Liam and Mason. Liam, rather than being consumed by disappointment like Jackson was, is trying to cope with his fear of the Berserkers. Mason, rather than leaving with a quip like Danny, stands there hurt by Liam's behavior. Scott has to caution Liam about pushing his friends away.

Same situation, different motivations from each character involved, demonstrating how while they might be best friends they act in the context of that friendship in different ways. Liam is running away from the possibilities of the supernatural, while Jackson is running toward them. Danny is willing to respect Jackson's boundaries while still caring for him, while Mason is hurt by his inability to help a clearly distressed friend. These difference help demonstrate Scott's evolving role in his peer group and his own growing skills in leadership. He is in a position to help Liam and Mason in a way he wasn't able to help Jackson and Danny.

Liam and Mason are not replacements for Jackson and Danny. Even if Jackson and Danny were present in season 4 through 6, they couldn't possibly have the same relationship with Scott because they were very different people.

#liam dunbar #mason hewitt #jackson whittemore #danny mahealani #scott mccall #teen wolf meta #fandom problems

[poetlcs]

sharing some books I read recently and recommend for women in translation month!

for more: @world-literatures

Two Sisters by Ngarta Jinny Bent & Jukuna Mona Chuguna (Translated from Walmajarri by Eirlys Richards and Pat Lowe)

The only known books translated from this Indigenous Australian language, tells sisters Ngarta and Jakuna's experience living in traditional Walmajarri ways.

2. Human Acts by Han Kang (Translated from South Korean by Deborah Smith)

Gwangju, South Korea, 1980. In the wake of a viciously suppressed student uprising, a boy searches for his friend's corpse, a consciousness searches for its abandoned body, and a brutalised country searches for a voice.

3. Things We Lost in the Fire by Mariana Enriquez (Translated from Spanish by Megan McDowell)

Short story collection exploring the realities of modern Argentina. So well written - with stories that are as engrossing and captivating as they are macabre and horrifying.

4. Portrait of an Unknown Lady by Maria Gainza (Translated from Spanish by Thomas Bunstead)

In the Buenos Aires art world, a master forger has achieved legendary status. Rumored to be a woman, she seems especially gifted at forging canvases by the painter Mariette Lydis, a portraitist of Argentine high society. On the trail of this mysterious forger is our narrator, an art critic and auction house employee through whose hands counterfeit works have passed.

5. My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrente (Translated from Italian by Ann Goldstein)

My Brilliant Friend is a rich, intense and generous-hearted story about two friends, Elena and Lila. Through the lives of these two women, Ferrante tells the story of a neighbourhood, a city and a country as it is transformed in ways that, in turn, also transform the relationship between her two protagonists.

6. Childhood by Tove Ditlevsen (Translated from Danish by Tiina Nunnally and Michael Favala Goldman)

Tove knows she is a misfit, whose childhood is made for a completely different girl. In her working-class neighbourhood in Copenhagen, she is enthralled by her wild, red-headed friend Ruth, who initiates her into adult secrets. But Tove cannot reveal her true self to her or to anyone else.

7. La Bastarda by Trifonia Melibea Obono (Translated from Spanish by Lawrence Schimel)

The first novel by an Equatorial Guinean woman to be translated into English, La Bastarda is the story of the orphaned teen Okomo, who lives under the watchful eye of her grandmother and dreams of finding her father. Forbidden from seeking him out, she enlists the help of other village outcasts: her gay uncle and a gang of “mysterious” girls reveling in their so-called indecency. Drawn into their illicit trysts, Okomo finds herself falling in love with their leader and rebelling against the rigid norms of Fang culture.

8. Strange Beasts of China by Yan Ge (Translated from Chinese by Jeremy Tiang)

In the fictional Chinese city of Yong’an, an amateur cryptozoologist is commissioned to uncover the stories of its fabled beasts. Aided by her elusive former professor and his enigmatic assistant, our narrator sets off to document each beast, and is slowly drawn deeper into a mystery that threatens her very sense of self.

#women in translation #translated fiction #booklr #book recommendation #books #mine #i sort of forgot it was this month which feels bad but #I mean I read translated women all the time but still I wanted to do smething

[the-breath-in-air]

9 Queer Movies from the 1990s You May Not Have Heard Of

It's New Years, which means it's time for lists. And while everyone else is doing 'top X of 2023,' I've decided to list 9 queer movies from the 1990s. Why? Because I wanna. Plus, in discussions of representation, I often see folks talk about it with a heavy focus on mainstream 'Hollywood' produced movies, which leads folks to talk as though progress has been linear. As if, in the past there was no/'bad' queer representation and now there is 'good' representation. But of course it's not that simple. Plenty of amazing queer movies were produced in the past decades...they were just indie movies and thus difficult to find in a world prior to Netflix and Mubi and whatnot. But now we have streaming services, so allow me to share some of my favorites from the before times (specifically the 1990s).

Without further ado....here is an alphabetical list of queer movies from the 90s you may not have heard of (especially if you're under 30).

--

Beautiful Thing (1996) (dir. Hettie Macdonald)

Before there was Heartstopper, there was Beautiful Thing. It's a story about two gay teens, one sporty and one very much not sporty...and about how they deal with pressure to come out and pressure to hide who they are. It's a very sweet coming of age story, really. However, unlike Heartstopper, in Beautiful Thing the economic class of the protagonists plays an important role in the story (the characters all live on a counsel estate in London). The characters stories are nearly as much about them being working class as it is about the two main character being gay. It's one of the first movies I ever saw about gay teens, and I loved it. I still get a wistful smile every time I hear Mama Cass Elliot's "Make Your Own Kind of Music." (cw for parental abuse)

--

Edward II (1991) (dir. Derek Jarman)

The real Edward II was King of England for 20 years in the 14th century. At the end of the 16th century, Christopher Marlowe wrote a play about Edward's reign and eventual downfall. In 1991, Derek Jarman streamlined Marlowe's play and brought all the homosexual subtext between Edward and Gaveston way out front. In the film, Edward II is in prison and reflects on the events which have led him to that point. The trouble begins when Edward takes the throne and brngs his exiled lover, Gaveston, back to England. All around them the rest of the aristocracy (including Edward's wife) conspire to bring Gaveston down. The movie itself is anachronistic (set in 1991), with minimal sets and costume, and staged a lot like a play. A lot of the dialogue is right out of Marlowe's play, though there are some changes to the story (notably at the end). It's honestly my favorite Derek Jarman movie, and frankly one of my favorite movies, full stop. (cw for blood, animal corpses, violent death)

--

Fire (1996) (dir. Deepa Mehta)

Fire is the first film in the Elements Trilogy written and directed by Deepa Mehta. Each film in the trilogy is about different characters in India, with the connection between the three being thematic rather than plot or character. Fire is about two Indian women, Radha and Sita, who form a bond through their struggles living within a traditional "joint-family" (i.e. a family where all extended family live together and all money and resources are shared). The women in this family have very little agency and this film explores how the two main characters navigate through it. The men in this film are also repressed by the social structure in which they live, and this film spends some time looking at that as well. It's a film about queer desire between women living under patriarchy. (All the movies on this list are available on streaming services in the US, except Fire. However, I was able to find it uploaded to a random YouTube channel) (cw for someone catching on fire, brief domestic violence (a slap), and non-consensual kissing)

--

Happy Together (1997) (dir. Wong Kar-wai)

In Happy Together, two men from Hong Kong travel to Argentina and eventually get stuck there when they run out of money and are unable to return home. The relationship between these two men is very tumultuous, with a lot of arguing and breaking up and getting back together. It's one of the first movies I saw in which queer folks have, just, regular ol' relationship drama - exasperated by the regular ol' struggles of life. (i cant remember if there are any content warnings i should put here; it's been a few years since i've seen it)

--

Lilies (1996) (dir. John Greyson)

Lilies is a Canadian film in which a prisoner requests a bishop come to the prison to hear the prisoner's last confession. It quickly becomes clear, however, that the prisoners have something else in mind when they begin staging a play. It turns out the bishop and prisoner knew each other as teens, and the play is about the events in their lives that led up to the prisoner being put on trial. So you end up with a play-within-a-play (or rather a play-within-a-movie). The film weaves between the production staged in the prison and the memory of the events in a really fluid way. All the prisoners portray their characters in the 'memory' sections, which lends itself to some really great moments in the prison sections. And at the heart of this memory/story is a queer love story. (cw for parental abuse, murder, fire, and suicide)

--

The Living End (1992) (dir. Gregg Araki)

This is a film about two young gay men who are diagnosed HIV positive. Unlike more mainstream films about HIV that came before (and after), The Living End wears its anger and pain on its sleeve. The entire world is entirely fucked up, and so these two men turn to a nihilistic outlook. The acting is just okay and some of the dialog is a bit ridiculous...but what draws me to rewatch this movie is the way that it conveys the emotion of the time. It's a ball of rage manifest on film. (cw for attempted suicide, rape, murder)

--

Love is the Devil (1998) (dir. John Maybury)

One of the problems with the average biopic is that it attempts to portray a person's entire life in a single movie. Thankfully, Love is the Devil doesn't have that problem; it focuses on only 8 years of Francis Bacon's life - the time he spent with a man named George Dyer. By this point, Bacon was already an extremely famous artist (and, at least in the film, a bit of an asshole). Bacon meets Dyer as Dyer attempts to burgle Bacon's studio - and thus begins an extremely dysfunctional love affair. If you want to see Derek Jacobi and Daniel Craig portray this dysfunctional relationship, then this is the movie for you. Also, if you want to see a biopic that lets the subject of the film be portrayed as a shitty person, this is a film for you. (cw for bdsm, drug use, untreated mental illness, and suicide)

--

Orlando (1992) (dir. Sally Potter)

From right out the gate, Orlando announces its queer themes by having Quentin Crisp portray Queen Elizabeth I, and Tilda Swinton portray Orlando (a man). From the first scenes it becomes clear that gender is going to be a main theme in the movie. Orlando is a young man who will never grow old and never die. He begins life in the 1500s, during Queen Elizabeth's reign, and we see him (and later, her) throughout the centuries between then and 'present' day (1992). The film is broken into thematic chunks (poetry, politics, society, etc). In each of these chunks we see Orlando's life as it reflects the social norms of the time (especially gender norms).

--

Swoon (1992) (dir. Tom Kalin)

Like Rope (1948) and Compulsion (1959), Swoon is a film about the Leopold and Loeb murder. Unlike the earlier films, Swoon makes the gay relationship between Leopold and Loeb explicit. Their relationship in the film is fairly uneven, with Loeb being characterized as more of an explicit manipulator. Leopold, on the other hand, is driven more by wanting to please Leopold. Complicating this dynamic is the way that Leopold is the one more interested in their sexual relationship. Is Loeb exchanging sex for help with his criminal activities? Or is Leopold committing crimes in order to elicit sex from Loeb? Or both...something a bit more complicated than either/or? The film, especially the latter half, eschews and lampoons the sensationalism of the reporting of the crime from the time. (cw for murder, blood (in black and white), and animal corpses)

--

Honorable mention goes to more well-known movies I didn't put on this list, such as: But I'm a Cheerleader, Velvet Goldmine, Bound, Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert, The Birdcage, To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar, My Own Private Idaho, Bent...there are actually a whole lot of queer movies from the 1990s, now that I think about it.

#beautiful thing #hettie macdonald #edward ii #derek jarman #fire #deepa mehta #happy together #wong kar wai #lilies #john greyson #the living end #gregg araki #love is the devil #john maybury #orlando #sally potter #swoon #tom kalin #virginia wolf #leopold and loeb #tilda swinton #quentin crisp #derek jacobi #daniel craig #francis bacon #lgbt movies #queer movies #lgbt representation #queer representation #1990s movies

[notjosieyouremy]

every edsheeran book ive ever read and what i thought

*reblog without tags please

5 star tier ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

• hunger: a memoir of (my) body by roxane gay. one of the best edsheeran books ive read. it’s about sa, food addiction, boolimia, feminism, fatphobia, the struggles of just trying to exist black woman in a large body. would recommend

• i’m glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy. it’s so good. i think i finished it in a day. it’s about a lot more than edsheeran. highly recommend. go read it right now

• unbearable lightness: a story of loss and gain by portia de rossi. a gay actor’s struggles with edsheeran. one of the few i’ve read more than once. would recommend

• wasted: a memoir of an0rex!a and boolimia by marya hornbacher. really deserves to be in a class of its own. it’s the best written edsheeran book out there. it’s sad, hilarious, intelligent, perfectly captures the internal voice of mania. highly tr!ggering, so proceed with caution. after wasted was published she relapsed, which she speaks about in madness: a bipolar life. it’s also a very good book but edsheeran is not the focus

4 star tier ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

• insatiable: a young mother’s struggle with an0rexia by erica rivera. if you wanna read about someone who takes fistfuls of bisacodyl and exercises intensely, you might like this book. it’s very good. would recommend

• dying to be th!n by nikki grahame. imagine being so severely malnourished as a child that you never go through puberty. thats how serious her illness was. she basically grew up in treatment facilities, managed to recover against all odds, went on big brother (the reality show), published a book, relapsed, and tragically passed away in 2021. the covid lockdowns were hard on her mental health. would recommend

• the girls at 17 swann street by yara zgheib. semi-autobiographical work of fiction. what sets this one apart is the protagonist isn’t a teenage girl. she’s, like, 28 i think? something like that. would definitely recommend if you get tired of reading about teens and preteens all the time

• elena vanishing by elena dunkle. at a certain point, all these books can be summarized in one sentence: she had to choose between recovery or death. it’s a very good memoir. would recommend

• born round: the secret history of a full-time eater by frank bruni. we love to see male representation in the edsheeran community. he was a chubby kid, turned to unhealthy means to achieve we!ght loss, eventually learns to heal his relationship with food and becomes restaurant critic for the new york times (ever heard of it?). would recommend

• sure, i’ll join your cult: a memoir of mental illness and the quest to belong anywhere by maria bamford. if you don’t know who maria bamford is, she’s one of the best stand up comics, period. that’s not even my opinion, it’s just an agreed upon fact within the stand up community. she’s brilliant. the book is about her mental illnesses and all the different self help groups she joins (so many!). she does go into her struggle with exercise boolimia, though that’s not the primary subject. it gets 5 stars as a book, but 4 stars as an edsheeran book because there just isn’t a lot of dis0rder talk

3 star and below ⭐️⭐️⭐️

• stick figure: a diary of my former self by lori gottlieb. good but i had trouble relating to the protagonist because was quite young and immature

• the art of st4rving by sam j. miller. some much needed male representation in edsheeran literature. and some lgbtq representation. it’s YA (young adult) fiction, not really my taste. would recommend for those who like YA. great cover art!

• wintergirls by laurie halse anderson. a lot of people love this book. i thought it was ok. it’s a work of fiction by an author who isn’t really part of the edsheeran or recovery community. it’s another YA book. i will always prefer memoirs and non-fiction

• fat chance by lesléa newman. this was the first edsheeran book i read. it was assigned reading for my high school health class. it’s a YA novel about a 13 year old girl who wants to lose we!ght. she re$tricts, she b;nges, she poorges, she becomes boolimic. i can trace my edsheeran back to this book. i started d;eting, b;ngeing, and abusing lax4tives as a direct result of reading this material. it did the exact opposite of its purpose, trying to steer young people away from toxic d!et culture. my take away was, i’m overweight, therefore i should be willing to do anything to get th!nner. it’s not very good tbh. maybe if you like YA you’d like it but otherwise, would not recommend

#notjosie reads

[artificialdaydreamer]

I started reading Aces Wild by Amanda Dewitt, which is about a casino heist done by asexual teens (I just hit chapter seven, not done yet) and it’s so surreal to have actual representation in a book where the ace character isn’t Murderbot (who is a construct and I love it, but also not human) and asexuality is taken seriously, along with how relatable (to me at least) it was for the protagonist figuring out he’s ace from reading a post on a fan forum.

ID: text passage reading

Thread: What Am 1?

Author: sithskywalker13

Post:

Hello, friends! I could use a little advice if you've got the time... I'm just not really sure what to do. I'm a sophomore in high school, and I keep thinking that I'll end up dating, but it hasn't happened yet? I thought it would happen when I went to middle school, and then high school, but it hasn't, and I'm not sure if that's a problem. Am I doing something wrong? Do I just pick someone and ask? I don't really know if it should be a boy or a girl. I guess it doesn't really matter.

The problem is that I don't really know if I'm straight or gay. I don't really feel like either, I think? Honestly I'm not really sure if I'm a boy or a girl either, ha ha, so | guess that doesn't help. But I don't know what it's supposed to feel like. Everyone else just seems to know who they like. Are they making it up Or is something wrong with me?

Plus this relatable description of realizing you’re ace

Ace meant asexual, which meant the lack of sexual attraction, which made things make a lot more sense. I felt like a puzzle, mostly put together but with a piece missing, waiting to be filled. There were plenty of pieces to fill it-gay, straight, bisexual- but none fit quite right. Sometimes I thought I could make one fit if I pressed hard enough, but it would never lie flat.

The word asexual took the puzzle piece and turned it, letting it click into place where before it'd been better to just leave the space empty. I wasn't broken. I wasn't empy.I wasn't nothing at all. Just a little differently shaped.

Be ace do crime guys

#aces wild #be ace do crime #asexuality #asexual