#also any scene with touka

[chairteeth]

Nemu's life as a wheelchair user and how terrible f4 is at portraying it (or, well, Not portraying it)

Buckle up I have a list of PointsTM. I will be going into Japan's history with disability as well as what life is like on a wheelchair.

First though, because I want this to have the intended effect, I recommend going over Nemu's swimsuit costume story again. It is Very Relevant. I recommend you enjoy the fluff of it too, before I dump the depressing thing about it on you. Though I will say I really REALLY appreciate how far Touka always goes to make Nemu feel comfortable and supported and listened to and cared for in every situation and- is shot.

So, apparently this room has a big mirror, and Nemu gets uncharacteristically giddy and we get this scene that Will hurt you. She even says that she finds this just as important as the liberation plan.

They had ALL OF THE SETUP, ALL OF IT. And now I would like to also share a recent analysis of Nemu's wheelchair that I dragged some wheelchair users to do, then I'll start thrashing and yelling about the significance of such a change. For reference we mainly have the sprite right:

I'm going to provide the relevant texts directly for you:

no theres like zero leg support beyond the foot plate and even the way the foot plate is designed implies that she has pretty good motor control over her legs

ya no calf pads or anyting smh

and whats with the armrests those dont look v comfy??

i doubt she needs much body support beyond the walking there's proper cushioning elsewhere, though

I can't see a headrest either, and the backrest is not very high, so I'm pretty sure she just can't walk and everything else is largely fine

Me:

it's a separate continuity, but in the anime Nemu can stand. We don't see her walking but we see her standing a few times, and some of them are at points where she has to have walked at least a little bit, so I definitely think it's not "100% can't walk" but rather something more complex. Even before she was a magical girl we saw her standing in the hospital, though you could argue that was before whatever anime illness she has got worse

huh. that sounds like chronically ill person energy conservation to me at least in the anime. me and (name omitted) do that, were usually on our wheelchairs because a walk to the grocery store may be too much and we might keel over from the pain or exhaustion. what about the game?

Me:

I don't think she can walk at all in the game? The times she's not in her wheelchair, someone is carrying her, iirc. I told you that the cause of it was her shaving away her life force repeatedly, and I've explained the other symptoms, but truth be told, we don't see those other symptoms again post Arc 1 (which I think is just because she's under less stress and not constantly shaving away the aforementioned life force), and we were sadly robbed of any kind of "discovery" scene where we get her actual reaction and yk, her assessing the permanent damage done to her body?

Me:

I told you guys how soul gems work as essentially the girl's soul puppetting her body, right? My personal theory is that she did so much damage to herself that it significantly weakened part of the soul gem-body connection. I thought it may have been severed, but if that were the case, I'm pretty sure her legs would just rot off, since magical girl bodies rot when separated from their soul gems for too long iirc, plus she can feel temperature on them so

WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US ABOUT THE TEMPERATURE THING

Me:

I'M SORRY IT'S AN OBSCURE ASSUMPTION BASED ON A QUOTE OR TWO ABOUT A FUCKING KOTATSU, THEY NEVER FUCKING TALK ABOUT THE DETAILS OF THE LEG THING, I WAS TRYING TO STICK AS CLOSE TO THE TEXT AS POSSIBLE

Me:

she's also never complained about pain from her legs, she's lamented the whole being unable to walk once or twice ("this body of mine can't help in any significant way") but never said a word about pain or other complications. Granted, she's also a people pleaser who would rather put on a stoic face than mildly inconvenience literally anyone

yea then it might just be she cant do the walking motions reliably. didnt you say she has an overprotective gf? The gf may have argued for the wheelchair thing to be on the safe side

mmmmmmmmmm ye sounds about right

They also talked a bit about control pads and wheels but this was the summary one of them gave me:

So in short, Nahi: mobility and feeling all good, but no walkies or will fall on face and fracture skull

With that out of the way, I am going to go on my certified rant about living in a wheelchair. Let's start at the general inaccessibility of Japan. Nemu's wheelchair isn't exactly... compact or foldable from what I can tell so that doesn't help her in the least. Here is a non-exhaustive list of things to consider:

That's the analysis and conclusion of that part, which will help discuss the next one. Now, first of all... I have complained MANY TIMES about our lack of any scene where this permanent damage is revealed to the characters. They skipped over that. Which I thought, oh, okay, maybe we'll get it in a costume story for the wheelchair sprite. We did not get that! And that's important. Because see, Nemu I think might be able to hide her initial raw reaction depending on who was in the room with her. If she was alone or (preferably and probably likeliest) with Touka, she might not hide it, but it has to have sunk in that she would be dead to her family again. And for a character who so desperately wanted to fit in with her family, go camping with them, and presumably do all the outdoorsy and sporty stuff with them, YEAH, A SCENE LIKE THAT WOULD BE NEEDED

especially because Nemu has the tendency to both self-flagellate excessively (Touka also does this) and to hide all of her feelings and suppress them as hard as humanly possible.

- Less maneuverability or no access at all in some places, such as hotel rooms, restaurants, and stores

- Way longer wait times for nearly everything

- The temples are shitty to access because 90% of them have The Stairs, and the parks surrounding them have gravel grounds that make it almost impossible to run a wheelchair through (or at least, it's really hard. Think of when Sakurako had to carry Nemu on the beach, sand/sand-like ground and wheelchairs most often do not mesh, especially electric ones)

- The general congestion of large cities is not good but at least Japanese people tend to be nice and polite about it and try not to bother/touch wheelchair users, however this is unavoidable and oh boy haha rush hour

- In the end a wheelchair user in Japan is pretty limited in what they can do if not accompanied, which absolutely sucks

Streets are often narrow too so gestures at list. Plenty of buildings, especially old ones, are never really upgraded/don't have ramps or accessible elevators either, and I have literally seen a Japanese building that needed you to climb seven steps to get into the elevator?? Okay, alright, I will try not to bitch too hard. If using Yokohama as a base, the thing with large cities is that actually, the subway and train networks are generally good for wheelchair users (though they have to take extra steps and a trip that would take an able-bodied person one hour may take the wheelchair user double that amount of time, plus the station staff will choose your train for you). Everything else however, not so nice, and again The Stairs.

Let's start with showering and bath/general bathroom difficulties. First of all, it's MUCH likelier for a person in Nemu's position to slip and hurt themselves in the shower/bath, not even likely to be able to stop their own fall because Legs No Worky, secondly washing up unassisted when you're in a wheelchair both takes longer and is difficult/inconvenient, particularly if you don't have a specific chair or other thing to help you in the tub/shower (I am unsure if her family would be agreeable to this or if she'd even ask). For Nemu's benefit we are going to go with my interpretation that magical girls do not have periods, because otherwise oh dear god well that's way worse! But yes there's that whole complication and see, if you live with your family you have people you can ask for help. However we are talking about Nemu, and Nemu would rather starve under a bridge than ask for help (in 99% of cases). We have a section for internal effects of leg loss don't you worry but like, girl already felt like a burden before, imagine how she feels now when she actually does have to depend on others occasionally. Showering/bathing must be an absolute nightmare every single day for the poor girl. You don't realize how much you rely on walking and having usable legs inside the house until you lose that ability.

Now I go on the funny historical tangent! Around the 1960s in Japan, there was an increase in disabled children being separated from their families and placed in residential institutions, many of which were converted from the ones built for disabled veterans after WW2. At the age of 18, many of these children were then transferred to adult facilities where they would remain until death. As you may be able to imagine, these institutions were not great! Cue many many MANY human rights violations, including child residents being used as guinea pigs for their doctors in surgical procedures and disgusting amounts of incidents of sexual abuse towards female residents

the traditional Japanese notion that disabled people should be hidden by their families like a shameful secret was veeeeery prevalent! That is why these places even existed. Those beliefs are, Still ShiftingTM so to speak but it is much better now because hey at least they finally have an anti-discrimination law. By "finally" I mean that ten years ago they did not have one. You see, the literal basic anti-discrimination act for people with disabilities in Japan only came into effect in 2016 (for the reference of the Americans who may not know and for an easy example, in the US, the same thing happened in 1990, which is still recent-ish but not, "less than ten years ago" recent). That's only eight years ago. So let's not even talk about how VERY highly Not Possible a fully wheelchair-adapted/comfortable home would be in Japan. It ain't great chief, basic programs are still being implemented, and I highly doubt people are very widely educated on the matter unless it affects them personally. I think that is most of the funny historical tangent, so... time for me to talk about adapting to life on a wheelchair.

This leads me into another very funny thing: reach. Imagine having short person struggles. Okay, now imagine your height is cut in half and you have to be sitting down for everything. Who wants to bet you are now unable to reach A LOT of the things at home? Bathroom setups vary so that one you can circumvent, however! Consider the following: Nemu displays an enjoyment of cooking. Have you ever tried to sit down in front of most kitchen counters? They are pretty high up from that position. Which is fine when you're maybe just resting on the chair but can stand up/take steps around, but when you can't... well. Cooking just got a whole lot more inconvenient and complicated! Nemu seems to keep doing it, so I imagine she's figured out the kitchen table hack (kitchen tables are often lower than the counters and therefore often used to do the prep work instead of the counter because it's more comfortable). This still does not account for the stove but we haven't heard of Arc 2 Nemu cooking solo, only either with her mom or Sakurako, so I assume Nemu's family has the decency not to send her to make dinner like they do in Arc 1.

On the topic of short reach, have you ever realized how inconvenient doorknobs can be if you're sitting down? And doors in general when it's not so easy to move, really. This is more the case for those with less grip strength or less mobility than Nemu, but doorknobs are still generally placed high enough to be inconvenient, doors depending on how they open can be annoying (though sliding doors I've heard are better, so long as they're not too heavy), and let's not even talk about the heavy-ish doors that you have to push against. Because while that might be easy outside of a wheelchair... not so much on a wheelchair. The inconvenience of doors and doorknobs aside though, and back to public transport for a second, you cannot be spontaneous. According to a couple of Japanese wheelchair users I gnawed at for the purpose of research, you need to warn literally everyone at least 30 minutes in advance if you want to be able to board a train. If something comes up or is urgent, I assure you, you won't be able to hop on whatever train or taxi you want.

For Nemu in particular taxis may not be possible, but f4 ignores this really hard (like most things that have to do with Nemu's disability, given that it is acknowledged as a thing that exists LIKE TWICE after the initial timeskip scene at the end of Arc 1, mainly in Christmas string where she laments not being able to help with physical labor in any significant way due to "This Body Of Mine" [she's very dramatic about it but also this is an important hint to how she actually feels now that she's experienced at the very least months of living like this and now that she's alone with Touka instead of self-flagellating in public]). In Mokyu's MGS, I remember that moment when Touka calls for a taxi very much On The Spot and they both get on to follow Mokyu, seemingly very fast, and I was just like "????". I'm not really sure that's... a thing they can do that easily, f4...

But anyway, how about another item? Let's talk clothing. This is also not something able-bodied people usually consider or think about, but clothing generally was not designed for sitting. It will likely never fit right for wheelchair users, and many pieces of clothing may not even be comfortable, not to mention they may not be able to wear a lot of things (such as long/drapey fabrics that could interfere with movement, whether of the wheels, the control pad, or their bodies), and depending on how much mobility they have, changing itself can be another nightmare to do unassisted, or at least, it takes longer and takes more effort (we will get back to the "effort" part soon). This depends, sure, but it's often worse for kids and teenagers because they're still growing. It's okay though, I'm sure Touka would be really offended about this and would just take Nemu to get clothing custom made. What a good partner. The clothing issue is often overlooked, but Very Much A Thing. Some pants are not comfy to sit in for long periods of time, or maybe they fit well when you're standing but not when you're sitting... imagine only ever sitting.

I think I've made my point with the clothing aspect so let's move on to ANOTHER THING! Yes, I have more. Some things like transferring may be more inconvenient in Japan than they would be in the West. Transferring, in case you're not aware, is what a wheelchair user moving themselves from their wheelchair to another place to sit (such as a dining table chair, if they want, or a sofa), or back to the wheelchair, is called. It may be more inconvenient in Japan because well, The Floor. Transferring largely relies on upper body strength in most cases, and see, you can park a wheelchair next to a sofa or other chair and move yourself there reeelatively easily, but the floor may be a bit harder due to the difference in elevation from surface to surface. Once again, it depends on the specifics of the wheelchair user in question, overall. I've heard a couple of people say that the floor is Very Bad to transfer to and from, but one of them has mobility issues in the upper body and the other has arm weakness (he can only get back up because he's able to push a little bit with his legs).

For Nemu there's also the possible school complications, but I have not looked much into how accessible Japanese schools are for students on wheelchairs, though I do want to call a bit of attention to how we've seen Touka at school in Arc 2 but never Nemu, and I feel like that might be one of the reasons. Studying from home I suppose could be an option, though it would be iffy to me because of the whole part about being stuck inside and hidden away.

Before I move on to other things, let me. Talk about this other thing. That is specifically heartbreaking for Nemu. That being physical intimacy (we're talking hugs and the like, people, don't get ahead of yourselves). Quick quiz question for you to think about before I answer it, have you ever thought of how to comfortably hug a wheelchair user?

Normally, when put on the spot, the typical able-bodied person who has never thought about it says that well, you can just bend over to hug them! And while that kind of works, that is not exactly a "full hug" and also requires more effort and more Going Out Of Your Way on the able-bodied person's part than a hug to an able-bodied person that you can just easily walk up to and hug without any adjustment, which makes it less likely that the wheelchair user will get casual affection through that. A common one is the hug from the back, which works just like you'd do it for any sitting person, however the hug from the back is not exactly common and depends on how close the two people are. And then there's the other main way to do it, if it doesn't hurt for the wheelchair user. Which is the lap hug. Able-bodied person sits on the wheelchair user's lap and that is how the hug happens. Most wheelchairs should be able to bear the weight, since you have to account for things like carrying groceries or Other Stuff already, so the capacity to bear weight is built-in (some wheelchairs can carry up to 700lbs/317kg). However you will notice that a lap hug is a significant leap in intimacy that not that many people might be comfortable with, particularly in a less touchy culture like Japan. Personally I think Touka is princess enough, has enough of an ego, and enough of a bond/trust with Nemu that she'd have no qualms sitting on her lap, but Yeah. Holding hands is another one that may take a while to adjust to, since it's basically a MASSIVE height difference that you can't bridge, and also walking-walking vs walking-rolling (or whichever verb you prefer for wheelchair users) areeee different let's just say and speed adjustment can also be a bitch

What I'm saying is if poor Nemu was already affection deprived before, It Got Worse. I will touch on this more when I talk about the social consequences losing her legs must've had. To sum this all up so far, it's an entire reevaluation of the world you live in. Things that were once convenient are now inconvenient, or at best, don't help you anymore. People are often stumped as to what to say to you or what to do or how to act around you, especially if you bring up any and all struggles that have to do with the wheelchair thing. It's not Nemu's case but if she had a friend group, that would also mean possible distancing from them due to being unable to do as many activities with them or go to the same places as before. The world is built for the able-bodied, and the effort it takes to just navigate life in a wheelchair can be extremely draining. And SPEAKING OF EFFORT, it is time for the spoon theory! Those of you already familiar with it may skip this part, as I'm simply going to copy and paste from the original creator of the spoon theory, but for anyone who has never heard of the spoon theory, please, do read this part. It may help you understand something extremely important for the daily lives of so many people, and it may even give some of you who the spoon theory does apply to a new tool to use. This is the spoon theory:

As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?

My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.

I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn’t seem satisfied with my answers. I was a little surprised as being my roommate in college and friend for years; I thought she already knew the medical definition of Lupus. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick.

As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity. I could have given up, cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don’t try to explain this, how could I ever expect her to understand. If I can’t explain this to my best friend, how could I explain my world to anyone else? I had to at least try.

At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said “Here you go, you have Lupus”. She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands.

I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.

Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.

She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become.

I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of “spoons”. But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons” you are starting with. It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn’t even started yet. I’ve wanted more “spoons” for years and haven’t found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has Lupus.

I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As, she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do; I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said ” No! You don’t just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are late. You didn’t sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to make your self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if you don’t, you can’t take your medicine, and if you don’t take your medicine you might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow too.” I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn’t even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her spoon, just for washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching high and low that early in the morning could actually cost more than one spoon, but I figured I would give her a break; I didn’t want to scare her right away. Getting dressed was worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little detail needs to be thought about. You cannot simply just throw clothes on when you are sick. I explained that I have to see what clothes I can physically put on, if my hands hurt that day buttons are out of the question. If I have bruises that day, I need to wear long sleeves, and if I have a fever I need a sweater to stay warm and so on. If my hair is falling out I need to spend more time to look presentable, and then you need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all this.

I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didn’t even get to work, and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, since when your “spoons” are gone, they are gone. Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow’s “spoons”, but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less “spoons”. I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want to run low on “spoons”, because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn’t want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me.

We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently. Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night.

When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she wouldn’t have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely. Then I also explained, that I didn’t even bother to add into this game, that she was so nauseous, that cooking was probably out of the question anyway. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you can’t do it all.

I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting through to her. I didn’t want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy to think finally maybe someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes and asked quietly “Christine, How do you do it? Do you really do this everyday?” I explained that some days were worse then others; some days I have more spoons then most. But I can never make it go away and I can’t forget about it, I always have to think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding in reserve. I said simply, “I have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve. You need to always be prepared.”

It's hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day, and the whole day’s plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count “spoons”.

After we were emotional and talked about this for a little while longer, I sensed she was sad. Maybe she finally understood. Maybe she realized that she never could truly and honestly say she understands. But at least now she might not complain so much when I can’t go out for dinner some nights, or when I never seem to make it to her house and she always has to drive to mine. I gave her a hug when we walked out of the diner. I had the one spoon in my hand and I said “Don’t worry. I see this as a blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many spoons people waste everyday? I don’t have room for wasted time, or wasted “spoons” and I chose to spend this time with you.”

Ever since this night, I have used the spoon theory to explain my life to many people. In fact, my family and friends refer to spoons all the time. It has been a code word for what I can and cannot do. Once people understand the spoon theory they seem to understand me better, but I also think they live their life a little differently too. I think it isn’t just good for understanding Lupus, but anyone dealing with any disability or illness. Hopefully, they don’t take so much for granted or their life in general. I give a piece of myself, in every sense of the word when I do anything. It has become an inside joke. I have become famous for saying to people jokingly that they should feel special when I spend time with them, because they have one of my “spoons”.

And that folks is the spoon theory. The spoon theory of course applies to wheelchair users. In Nemu's case it's more of a magical affliction and doesn't seem to affect her beyond the part about not being able to walk, however, as we've covered, that part is significant. It takes a mental, physical, and emotional toll. Then, other than this whole thing, there's issues with agency and independence. Yk, being able to live unassisted. I think Nemu could mostly handle it because I mean it's all she's ever done (insert parentification issues and her basically having raised herself, etc etc). Now here is a fun topic. How about social consequences? They are in fact significant as well! We just don't see it as much because Nemu's social life generally starts and ends at Touka, who is arguably the best-equipped person for this. You can bet Touka pulled three all-nighters to do research on this the moment she realized Nemu was not going to recover or at least not in the near future, and we already know she's extremely attentive from what we saw in Arc 1, so. Literally the best possible person for Nemu to hang out with, who will also never try to encroach on her decision-making or her boundaries, never try to take freedom or agency away from her, etc. Unfortunately there are more people around Nemu who may not handle it as gracefully (or well. Whatever Touka is doing. Her stunted social skills are actually a good thing when it comes to this).

Let's go from worst to better: Nemu's family. They are literally not mentioned again after Arc 1's final battle, ever. Not even when Chapter 8 happens. Not at all, zero mentions, at least none as far as I know. Which is concerning. Nemu still speaks fondly of them in Arc 2, from the Christmas quotes, but I mean. Desperate for love. Desperately learning her family's favorite foods and colors, fretting over what gift to get her brother. Which is just extra sad knowing that she's probably dead to them (again). I don't think it's a stretch to say that Nemu's family would have ZERO CLUE how to handle the entire topic. Common reactions are either avoidance/pretending it's not there, or severe awkwardness and hesitation that there is no way the wheelchair user won't notice. Particularly if they're a very perceptive person who pays close attention to the people around them (Nemu). I think Nemu's family might be the avoidance type, since they're allergic to making any effort to get to know her or yk treat her as their daughter instead of, parentifying her to hell and back at best. But let's take another couple of examples: Iroha and Ui.

I think those two might be the awkwardness type. Which is, "I have never encountered this problem and I'm not sure how to go about it but I don't want to hurt or offend this person" and normally leads to general insecurity/anxiety about mentioning specific things around the wheelchair user, or inviting them to things, or assigning tasks to them because the person fears they might hurt themselves/be unable to do what you asked, feel worse, etc. It can manifest in many ways and is normally born out of politeness or genuine personal concern for the other, but alas wheelchair users are not (all) blind, so they do very much notice. On their side it's also awkward and hurtful, in most cases. It's bad too when they get condescended or infantilized or as I mentioned before people take their agency away. It's that thing where you assume the wheelchair user needs help for (insert task) and that you're just being nice by lending them a hand but hey, hey. Maybe ask instead of assuming and moving to do a thing for them that you don't know with 100% is something they need help with. Maybe they don't actually need your help (cough savior/hero complex) and I assure you they appreciate being able to do whatever they can by themselves. Yes, it's well-meaning, but that doesn't mean it won't hurt the wheelchair user or make them feel bad/worse about themselves. The infantilization thing is often related to this too.

Next and last, the inner consequences of a significant loss such as this one. This part is about self-perception, perception in regards to the world and to others, and obviously it ties into Nemu's previously established concerns, fears, and general IssuesTM. This is another "sigh where to begin!" moment for me, because as I have established before, Nemu has major issues. Take literally every issue Nemu has ever had and them pump them full of steroids, then assume that bits of those issues drop off the bigger issue blob and grow into new connected issues. That is what this caused. There is of course a fun set of new issues that relate to the old ones but aren't fully connected as well. That being the feeling of being broken, incomplete, defective. For a person like Nemu whose worth is in considerable part determined by how useful she can be to others, that's not good. She's very much the type to keep things in rather than express them, except the precious scarce few times when we see her alone with Touka (you'll notice that usually we don't get scenes of them alone together save for Christmas String where there was A Pressing Issue to solve, normally it's the rest of the cast going to them for something so it's not exactly the correct atmosphere or moment for a vulnerability moment, Nemu has them, we see some, but they are Very Few).

The one comment from when she and Touka were moving their books out of Touka's private room in the hospital (still real gay of Touka to casually of her own will give Nemu a permanent space in her private room just so she could store her books), the one where she gets all droopy about being unable to help with the whole book moving process? Yeah that's your confirmation that as suspected, yes, she was lying when she said "this is fine" at the end of Arc 1. This is not by any means fine. Sure she has accepted it and thinks she deserves it but this is Nemu "I am to blame for damaging the economy of Japan" Hiiragi (I have a screenshot of when she said this) so like gestures vaguely. By that point in Christmas String, as I said before, she's probably been on a wheelchair for months at the very least, so she's had a chance to experience what that's like, among other things. I can't imagine she feels great about it. While simultaneously thinking her intestines should be bundled up with a pitchfork every day at noon for her sins, of course (insert aforementioned self-flagellation issues). Because she blames herself for literally everything and likely also blames herself every single time her inability to walk leaves her unable to do something she could've done before, and may even push herself beyond what's safe and healthy for her at times. Therefore, internally, yeah, Nemu is way worse than before. FORTUNATELY the stress of the Magius and the physical strain from making uwasa are no longer a thing and she has a safe place to be in every day with her partner who understands and loves her and doesn't even think of any adjustments as "effort" (of course this is nothing for Touka, she's a genius, I can hear the Toukitty saying with her nose up in the air like that). So that is, one good thing. And she can likely read more easily.

Unfortunately, Arc 2 also brings stress and more guilt due to the factions. There's the NM guilt and the PB guilt mainly, but also the stress of the few people they care about besides each other (such as Ui and Iroha) being in mortal danger. And what bothers me is, the way this entire thing affects and stimulates Nemu's concerns and fears from before is so criminally overlooked and outright ignored? We saw from her quotes and personal memo that she desperately wants to be loved, desperately wants to not be forgotten, and to leave behind a legacy (this is about the being forgotten part too). A common issue for wheelchair users is, in fact, that they are neglected and forgotten about, often only an afterthought, particularly for the administration. And so it annoys me endlessly that f4 are allergic to handling their disabled main cast member whatsoever and neglect her in much the same way her family does.

Anyway, this isn't exhaustive, there's definitely more to unpack, but it's already very long and I thank everyone who has read this far for your time. I hope it helped you guys understand at least a little bit better.

#magia record #nishiposting #essay #nemu hiiragi

[tg-pilled]

My review of the Tokyo Ghoul live action movie!

First off, I won't be reviewing based off the CGI, props, etc. I don't know enough about practical effects or that area to make any proper judgement regarding it.

Secondly, this is my opinion. In no way am I trying to make fun of the actors, CGI, storymakers, etc. I just have autism and will be commenting about what I did and did not like about the live action.

Here is what I LOVED:

The casting was perfect in my opinion. I was pretty much like "yeah wow that's the character if they were real" for every single character

The acting was pretty good! I wasn't expecting it to be as satisfying as it ended up being.

THE FIGHT BETWEEN AMON AND KANEKI AT THE END WAS SO GOOD 🙏 THEY ATE, DEVOURED, AND LEFT NO CRUMBS

Touka and Mado's fight was so well done! It was the perfect balance of emotion and action! I love that they didn't back down from Mado being batshit crazy and that they didn't make him hesitant to kill anyone! It felt like they stayed really true to the characters in that aspect!

THE RELIGIOUS IMAGERY??? OMFG I LOVED IT SOSO MUCH!! When Kaneki pierces Amon and leaves him looking like he's been crucified??? Wow. Amazing, stunning, never been done before. Mado calling Touka a sinner??? Amazing, stunning, never been done before.

Renji, Touka, Kaneki, and Hinami walking through the creek made me tear up omfg they are FAMILY.

What I Liked/Appreciated for What It Was:

The storyline was decent. I know they have to set it up and stuff but I REALLY wish we could have seen the final arcs, Jason, Shuu, etc. I am also biased because those are my favourites to analyze BUT I also understand that it's a movie that is trying to fit a large amount of content into a small amount of time.

I felt like Kaneki's character growth/development was rushed BUT towards the end where he's laughing over Amon's body and then sees himself in the puddle, WOW what a scene. Even still Kaneki's development was rushed but it felt like they were wanting a second movie.

The ending was. Okay enough. I wish Hide and Kaneki had seen each other again but like. I'm insane about their relationship anyways. AND THE WAY KANEKI LOOKS AT THE CHAIR. It was very good I appreciated the throwback and it came full circle.

What I Did Not Like At All:

Okay this isn't even the movie's fault but it being rated NC-17 makes no sense to me. I felt like it barely showed anything and it should've just been rated R. It is definitely an atypical horror movie but it is still horror.

Nishiki felt extremely cast aside. If they hadn't included that scene at all, nothing would have changed. They didn't make him as compelling as he was in the manga (again, it's a live action so I can't expect much) but he was very much a forgettable aspect of the movie despite him looking so babygirl.

I miss the talk that Hinami and her mom had before she died. It felt so short and wasn't well done in my opinion.

It felt bound to the anime (which we all know is better if you have read the manga and can actually understand wtf is going on) which is not an inherently bad thing but there should definitely have been more explanation for the character motives.

Anyways thank you for reading if you made it this far into my ramble and autistic rant. Thank you to my wonderful moot for getting me the link to the movie 🙏

#tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul kaneki #tokyo ghoul touka #tg kaneki #tgre #tokyo ghoul live action #movie review #tokyo ghoul review

[uriekukistan]

mutsurie…… and my boy aura……..

for mutsurie :3

when i started shipping it: literally on my first watch during the auction…it makes so much sense idk

my thoughts: when the two emotionally damaged characters who dont trust anyone enough to get close to them trust each other enough to get close 😖 also the fact that urie recognized that mutsuki was afab during the auction and he literally never said anything about it he was just kinda “oh okay” and never treated mutsuki any differently…it’s interesting because mutsuki really idolized sasaki for that same thing but never realized urie did the same thing for him…idk much to think about with that one

what makes me happy about them: see past comment, also they both care for each other unconditionally and i think they both need that because they both kinda care for themselves conditionally if that makes sense.

what makes me sad about them: okay maybe im too angsty rn but i dont think they have a happy ending together, or at least not for a while. like i said, they care for each other unconditionally but care for themselves conditionally, and i think before they can truly be happy together they need time apart to care for themselves…

things done in fanfic that annoys me: when they make mutsuki super emotionally and physically weak so he relies on big strong man in control of his emotions urie to put him back together…like it sometimes feels like its putting mutsuki in this traditionally feminine damsel in distress position and thats kinda ehhhh…also bold of you to assume urie is in control of his emotions or that mutsuki isnt strong or capable.

things i look for in a fanfic: im starving for content so the bar is pretty low….good spelling and grammar is nice :D

who i’d be comfortable with them ending up with, if not each other: i think they’d be better alone if not together…i’ve seem mutsaura floating around recently and while im intrigued i do think it has toxic potential which is interesting to read and think about, but i just want them to be happy 😞 healthy relationships only for my pookies

my happily ever after: they take some time apart like at the end of re where mutsuki is not even in tokyo and they learn their own value as individuals (ideally separate from their jobs) and then they reconnect after that…not that i’m saying you “have to love yourself to love someone else” and i dont think in their time apart they wouldnt still love each other, i just want them to have a happy healthy relationship 😞

who is the big spoon/little spoon: at the beginning urie is definitely big spoon and mutsuki is little spoon, but when they get more comfortable, they switch around sometimes. i think urie really likes being the little spoon…not that he would admit it

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: parallel play, like just comfortable silence and mutsuki’s reading while urie’s painting or something

tbh i dont think that much abt aura so i’ll try my best 😭🙏

how i feel about this character: i like how much i…don’t like him if that makes sense? his decisions irritate me but also they are indicative of how complex he is. interesting guy.

all the people i ship romantically with this character: as aforementioned i have seen mutsaura floating around and i have definitely found it intriguing…may i also propose him with higemaru? they kinda give that opposites black cat golden retriever couple vibe idk maybe im crazy

my non-romantic otp for this character: from the scene where he and mutsuki are trying to intercept touka and miza from extracting kaneki from the dragon, i really liked his interactions with higemaru and hsiao so i like the idea of them as like a besties group idk

my unpopular opinion about this character: im not sure i have one? idk

one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: for him to get closure from his aunt that she was okay with working with the ghouls for peace. i know he was told about it by…hsiao i think maybe it was higemaru, but it would have been nice to see him hear it from his aunt. i think he kinda needed it.

my otp: i dont think i really have one 😞

my crossover ship: again i dont really have one, but i can definitely draw parallels between him and geto from jjk…in that they both were so bothered by some tragedy that they both started to walk a very dark path. the difference being that aura’s friends were there to turn him around and (idk if you have or are planning to watch/read jjk but spoiler warning for s2 ep1-6 and jjk0) geto’s friends trusted him so much that when he said he was okay, they believed him and yeah…cutting myself off before i get too far

^could also be the long dark hair and emo vibes that makes me associate aura with geto

a headcanon fact: aura the type of guy to give scary vibes but talk to stray cats in a baby voice on the street…you see a scary man in the alley and you’re about to run away but then you hear “who’s a good kitty? you are! yes you are aweee what a cute baby” that’s him

#tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul :re #tgre #quinx squad #urie kuki #tooru mutsuki #shinsanpei aura

[akatsukitrash]

If, by any chance, Tobirama and Hashirama are seeing Akemi's life right now, what would they think of it? 👀

Oh boy. Okay so I can’t reveal TOO MUCH of it bc this is actually a plot point, but yeah, Tobirama and Touka (and perhaps Hashirama, too), are able to see what’s happening to their descendants right now, and they’re def watching over Akemi. There are already little hints to it like the rain that appears sometimes in key scenes symbolizes Tobirama’s presence. It’s harder to hint at Touka’s presence (she’s not as close to the elements as the Senju brothers, and genjutsu isn’t really something “natural”) but she’s definitely there. As for Hashirama’s…that’ll come soon.

As for what they think of it? Well. Touka was interim clan leader during the heights of the persecution against the Senju, so much of what’s happening she already expected. It doesn’t make it any easier to witness though, especially since she’s unable to do anything to help. Her daughter dies horribly, Akemi is hunted down, the Senju clan is a mess…She definitely wonders if things would’ve been different if she had tried to bridge the gap between the Senju and the Uchiha, and especially mend things with Madara (they have a…history together, to say the least. Not at all romantic, but you’ll see in upcoming chapters of But in this twilight, our choices seal our fate). She comes to care for Akemi throughout the fic, even though again, she can’t show it, and I think she wishes they’d met. Akemi inherited more from her than both think.

For Hashirama, how much he CAN see and comprehend is still unknown to me, because of a certain plot point. 

For Tobirama, I think he’s the most “active” presence (notice Akemi, during her journey as a lone toddler, often complains of hunger but not of thirst), and his absence is more glaring in certain scenes and meant to convey what he thinks (he’s, for example, present during Mito’s funeral, but not present when Mito killed Danzo, in fact. Akemi notes that the weather is very sunny, which hints as to Tobirama’s feelings towards his student and what he’s doing). I think he feels very betrayed, as the destruction of his and his brother’s legacy is pretty much bc his own students are too greedy and weak and obey the nobles/Daimyo all the time. He did compromise a lot in his building of Konoha, bc he had to, but Hiruzen is just spineless and loyal to the nobles. Kagami dies and Torifu is paralyzed (spoiler alert but Torifu reappears later and reveals that he suspects the missions that disabled him and killed Kagami were sabotaged on purpose by Hiruzen and Danzo), Hiruzen started sending kids to war, the Senju clan lost nearly half of its population, the Uchiha and Hyuuga are pushed aside, Akemi is literally bought by Danzo off the black market and he intended to raise her as a ROOT agent (the fact he notes that Akemi has a similar temper to Tobirama and wants to erase that is…yeah. Danzo.) Hiruzen not only did not protect Akemi, but he hunts her down to either capture her and turn her into a weapon for the village or kill her. That’s not counting Nawaki’s and Kiyoko’s death, Tsunade’s trauma, Fuujin’s (Izuna’s daughter) fate, Raijin’s (Izuna’s son) and Mikoto (Raijin’s daughter) mistreatment at the hands of the village, the upcoming Uzumaki genocide, etc. I think it’s a little too much for even “ghost” Tobirama to excuse. So I think he mainly feels betrayal and anger, and he expands a lot of spiritual energy trying to do as much as he can for his granddaughter, even if sometimes all he can do is make it easier for her to find water or rain on her to comfort her (Akemi’s affinity is Suiton and Doton, and she’s from a tropical country, so rain isn’t something she finds bothersome). I think he feels guilty about what’s happening to her, both bc of his own actions in his life, and bc of his internalized ableism since he also views her disability as his fault. 

I think, ultimately, he’s lost his trust in his students and village, and he’s mainly watching over Akemi and puts his trust in her. I think Touka feels the same. Hashirama- he’s not doing well, is all I can reveal, so he’s a bit more focused on himself right now. What he thinks of Akemi (and her own changing feelings towards him) will be the subject of a certain arc ;)

Thanks for the ask! And for those who dont know, this is about the events in Far Beyond the Woods of Dawn

#tobirama senju #hashirama senju #touka senju #akemi senju (oc) #drag my dark into the dawn au

[lurkerwithcomputer]

Movie Night

Itori-sensei's drama assignment is the talk of the whole dorm - and probably everyone else's dorm - this evening. After all, how often does a teacher want their students to watch horror movies? Touka can't say she's ever heard that before. It's only a waft of a familiar scent that makes her pay attention to the soft pad of socks across carpet.

"Touka-chan! What a weird group project, but maybe it'll be fun," Yoriko blurts out.

There's an off note in her voice, a false cheerfulness.

"Yoriko-chan," Touka replies, reflecting back Yoriko's fake cheer, a warning that she'll call Yoriko's bluff, "last time I checked, you get creeped out by horror movies."

"Oh the betrayal!~ Touka-chan, how could you~" Yoriko says, hand over her heart in mock offense.

Touka can't help but smile. Yoriko continues.

"But seriously, I think I'll be fine even with a gruesome movie like The Cannibal Mountain Village. Kurona and Kimi are hard to rattle, and Hinami's sweet. Just having them there will make me feel better."

Despite how earnestly Yoriko says it, Touka can't help but laugh. Or maybe it's because of how earnestly Yoriko says it. She doesn't know.

"I'm sorry for laughing about this but--" Touka pauses to collect herself, "you're in Hinami's study group for a horror movie. That's worse than you watching a horror movie."

Yoriko looks kind of lost. It's enough to make Touka feel kind of bad about all this. I'd better sit her down and explain... and there's no way to soften this. Touka flops down on the common room's lumpy couch, and pats the space next to her. Yoriko sits, looking unsure.

"So, y'know you turn white like a piece of paper when I eat in front of you? Gory, blood-everywhere movies make Hinami hungry. So she'll be snacking the whole way through."

Yoriko looks tense and sweaty, eyes wide and anxious. Touka feels her shoulders slump.

"Look, I'm not saying this to scare you, I'm saying this so you know what you're walking into."

"Touka-chan, um, I..." Yoriko trails off, in a thready, uncertain voice.

Sitting so close, in the empty common room, quiet disturbed only by muffled screams and horror-cue strings from the rooms above, Touka can hear Yoriko's racing pulse. Her nervous inhale. Touka can see Yoriko moisten her lips, see the sheen of sweat, catch the tang of stress wafting off her.

"What if I don't want to be grossed out by ghouls eating anymore?"

Hearing those words settles like a rock in her stomach. She's never wanted to deliberately put Yoriko through something that freaks her out, or make Yoriko feels like she has to put herself through something that will freak her out. That said, there's only one way she can think of to get Yoriko over this.

Touka takes her own steadying breath.

"Well, if that's what you want, come have dinner with me."

A/N: Of course Itori would assign a horror movie about cannibals. Even in an AU, it's Itori, she likes to shit-disturb. Yes it's deliberately ambiguous if any of the tension in this scene is shippy. Also, for the fictitious movie I made up, think Japanese isolated mountain village version of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and you've got the right ballpark at least.

#lurker writes #tokyo ghoul #school of ghoul AU #yoriko kosaka #kirishima touka #fueguchi hinami

[ipsen]

❤️👑💥🦈🎁👻 for the fic ask game??

I've been inactive lately, but I miss you ^^

aww miss you too mate! take it easy, and you’re always welcome here

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

I have a few, but this bit from Intangibility sticks out:

Eto looked back in the mirror at his handiwork, but he could tell she was somewhere else. Somewhere far away, where he would never reach.

She spoke first. “You are…”

Terrible. Pathetic. Worthless. A burden. 

“… very good.” She touched the ends of her hair, then smiled with practiced ease. “Well done.”

👑 Do you like writing short fics or long fics?

Short fics! The constraint is fun (helps distill the core of the fic down imo) + I burn out less when I do. This was the idea behind Holometabolism being 6 chapters long (also Eto being associated with The Lovers tarot card, so it lined up nicely).

*kicks Blank Canvas under the rug*

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

Kaneki's character arc. Where he starts to be okay with himself and actually is positive. The Dragon arc stinks because it's trying to be hopeful and have "good ending" vibes, but its main character is still stuck in the same mindset as before, so it feels unearned (also he faces like, no consequences so he doesn't actually surmount any obstacle). You can't be a tragedy and have a good ending at the same time; the tonal dissonance won't allow for it.

I like to maintain that if you kill a character for succumbing to their flaws and then bring them back, they should change. Death is like, a huge thing to skirt past, so treat it as such.

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

Most non-POV characters. Weird, right? I tend to dive into the POV character's mindset a lot when writing for them, to the point that when it comes to writing someone else, it's rough.

Also minor characters! Especially in a group conversation between four or more people; it gets tough making sure everyone gets a line and it isn't weird.

🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?

Hmmm… Maybe this bit?

Takatsuki was leaning against a pillow on the headboard and reading using the lamplight on the nearby dresser. She’d changed out of her day clothes and wore a fluffy white bathrobe in its place. Her lion’s mane of hair was wrapped up in a towel. A quick shower? It was plausible, given the day’s activities. He imagined her, completely stripped down, the water pouring out and streaking down her face and body and how envious he was and he was going to stop imagining it now.

I guess Blank Canvas is full of these scenes (Kaneki’s horrendous streak of horny thoughts is such a joy to me specifically), but I wanna try and keep the details of this next chapter under wraps. For reasons.

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

Touka’s forbidden biology textbook collection, I guess. Nothing crazy.

Renji powering :re when there’s a power outage.

—

Thanks for the ask!!

#ask #writing

[tenebraevesper]

Sonic Cyber Revolution Analyzer: The Memories of the Past Arc (Part 3) - Knuckles the Echidna & Lily Crystle

Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, Silver, Shadow and Metal Sonic remember their first meeting with their human partners, while also dealing with the aftermath of what happened at the Codex Research Facility, leading to the formation of Team Neos.

Chapters

Entry 10: His World

Entry 11: Believe In Myself

Entry 12: Unknown From M.E.

Entry 13: My Sweet Passion

Entry 14: Dreams of an Absolution

Entry 15: I Am... All Of Me

Entry 16: What I’m Made Of

The Memories of the Past Arc is a story arc segmented into two parts: The Memories of The Past & Present Day, and each chapter focuses on a different pair of characters. The first segment explores how they met and became partners, while the second segment focuses on the aftermath of what happened in the previous story arc.

As a side-note, all of the chapter titles are also the titles of each character’s theme songs: His World for Sonic, Believe In Myself for Tails, Unknown From M.E. for Knuckles, My Sweet Passion for Amy, Dreams of an Absolution for Silver, I Am... All Of Me for Shadow and What I’m Made Of for Metal Sonic.

Part 3 of this story arc’s analysis will focus on Knuckles the Echidna and Lily Crystle and be split into two segments; the first segment focusing on the story itself and the second part being an in-depth character analysis.

-The Memories of The Past: Knuckles & Lily-

''Perhaps, my search has finally come to an end,'' Knuckles the Echidna muttered under his breath has he finally made his way through Infinity Forest, exiting at a park closest to the edge of the forest, pushing away the branches and bushes and drawing the attention of the humans and ARNavs who were visiting it. He looked around, paying no attention to any of the curious onlookers and moved on.

He was focused on his goal, one that he didn't understand fully, but had accepted all the same. He knew that there was a greater purpose in his life, that he needed to find someone or something that he would guard with his life,… even if he had no clue what it was.

The Memory Part starts out with Knuckles coming to Neos City in the search for something to guard. Unlike his video game counterpart, Knuckles does not live on Angel Island, nor does he guard the Master Emerald, as that place and the gem do not exist in this universe. However, Knuckles is driven by a strong desire to find something to guard, to protect, and this is what leads him to Neos City, hoping that he would find that special something.

The scene shifts to Lily, who is frustrated with the gilded cage that is the Crystle Mansion. She is the daughter of a rich family that owns an influential video game company named Rising Quest (aka this universe’s version of Nintendo), but is forbidden to go outside the mansion due to having been kidnapped as a very young child for ransom. Lily doesn’t remember the event anymore, but her parents - her emotionally neglectful parents who think they can buy their daughter’s affection with money - refuse to let her go alone, even though Lily took on self-defense and kickboxing lessons to be able to defend herself.

At least, until they agree that Lily could only go outside if she finds an appropriate bodyguard. Deciding that she would do just that, she finds a way out of the mansion and leaves for the city.

Meanwhile, Tails and Warren are working on Lucas’ hoverboard, with Lucas and Sonic wanting to test out how fast it goes. However, the hoverboard flies off, with Sonic getting it back, him and Tails also wanting a hoverboard of their own.

Back with Lily, she has managed to escape the mansion and is currently roaming the city, coming across Touka, who asks her whether she had seen a blue hedgehog speeding through the city, which Lily did.

The scene shifts to Knuckles, who wonders whether his search will ever come to an end, not wanting his quest to be in vain. He is still determined to continue, only to get caught off guard when he spots a hoverboard flying towards him and, as a natural response, punches it.

''Whoa, what happened?'' Sonic asked the red echidna.

''Your board of hovering has attacked me,'' Knuckles said, walking up to the blue hedgehog. Sonic just gave him a baffled look.

''Attacked you? Dude, I don't even know who you are,'' Sonic replied, rising an eyebrow. Knuckles frowned, noticing in the corner of his eye the arrival of two more humans and an amber twin-tailed fox.

''The name is Knuckles the Echidna,'' Knuckles responded. ''I am a warrior, honor-bound to my cause.''

Sonic comes across the cracked hoverboard and meets Knuckles, being rather puzzled by the sight of Lucas’ broken hoverboard and an echidna trying to have some self-reflection. The frustrated Knuckles attacks Sonic for interrupting him, but quickly calms down as Lucas, Tails and Warren arrive. Knuckles apologizes for damaging Lucas’ hoverboard, finally explaining why he is here.

The conversation is overheard by Lily, who offers him to fulfill his quest by acting as her bodyguard, or rather, as her “Guardian’’.

Meanwhile, Warren and Lucas are intrigued by meeting the daughter of the CEO of Rising Quest, with Lily explaining her own situation. Knuckles agrees to act as Lily’s “Guardian’’, with Lily then explaining how she found them by following another person was searching for a certain blue hedgehog - Touka. Touka appears, being her usual cryptic self before leaving.

The group, still processing what had just happened, takes note of Knuckles fighting the Irregular Hunters and offer him to hide his identity as an Irregular via an AR Visor, leading to Lily buying multiple of them so Knuckles could pick one out for himself. Since money isn’t a problem for her, she gives the remaining AR Visors to Warren and Tails so they could use them. As for Sonic, he is just excited to have made two new friends and hopes that they can hang out.

The flashback part ends with Knuckles proving his worth as Lily’s Guardian to her parents, getting angry when they refuse to honor their part of the deal. They eventually agree, so long Knuckles stays by Lily’s side all the time.

Knuckles and Lily happily accept that condition.

-Present Day-

In the present day, Lily is practicing her kickboxing skills in her personal gym, with Knuckles as her trainer.

''I was thinking that perhaps, we could try out Chaos Surge and see just how strong one punch from either of us would be,'' Lily suggested. Knuckles paused for a moment, then nodded.

''Very well,'' he said. ''It is very smart of you to try test our new powers in a training environment before we can use them on the battlefield.''

''Not to mention, since this is my private gym, if something breaks, I can just replace it,'' Lily added, extending her hand. Knuckles accepted it.

''Chaos Surge!''

Both were enveloped in a red, electrifying aura. Knuckles then stepped back, allowing Lily to go first. Lily took another deep breath, winding up for the punch and then unleashed everything she had. To her shock, the punching bag flew right across the gym, the chain that kept it hanging breaking and the bag itself falling apart. Lily stared at it in shock, her jaw dropped.

''Ho-ly…'' she trailed off, looking at Knuckles, who observed the torn punching bag, his arms folded on his chest. He turned to Lily, looking quite proud.

''Now, that is a punch worth of a warrior.''

After realizing just how strong a Chaos Surge-powered punch is, they decide to leave buying a new punching back for later, as they had been called to join a meeting Lucas and Sonic had arranged.

Speaking of Lucas and Sonic, they have managed track down Touka and Shadow, who apparently live just a street away from them, and meet with Kisaki, who is a bit baffled that Touka and Shadow have friends. She does let them in, though.

''Touka, Shadow! Your friends are here!'' she called out, stepping back when she heard steps from above. The hatch then opened, with Shadow's head poking out upside down and looking down at the three, a frown spread on his expression. Sonic just waved at him nonchalantly.

''Hey, Shad!''

''What are you doing here?'' Shadow growled, glaring at Sonic. Sonic grinned in response.

''We are here to talk to you and Touka about something important,'' Sonic said. ''Could you come downstairs or should we join you in the attic?''

''How did you find us?'' Shadow responded instead of answering Sonic's question, still glaring at the blue hedgehog.

Shadow is not happy to see Sonic again, but he and Touka agree to hear the two out. Lucas informs them how they want to investigate the Codex Research Facility and he wanted to know whether Touka and Shadow would be okay with that, given their connections to the facility. Shadow then promptly throws Touka under the bus, leaving her to make the decision of joining them in the investigation.

''That's great!'' Sonic jumped off the couch, stepping in front of the two. ''I'm glad you two are joining us!''

''Only because we have a common goal doesn't mean that we are friends,'' Shadow responded, annoyed by Sonic's eagerness. Why was the blue hedgehog so excited to have him around? They did nothing but fight ever since they met. He noticed that Sonic did look a little upset, if not sad over his refusal. He shook his head lightly, adding, ''Still, I guess I can consider you an ally. After all, you tried to knock some sense into me when I was at my lowest, and I never thanked you properly for-''

Shadow was interrupted by Sonic who suddenly zipped up next to him, placing his arm over Shadow's shoulder, grinning. ''You don't have to thank me, Shad. What happened is all water under the bridge now. I would've done that for anyone.''

''First: Stop calling me Shad,'' Shadow replied, glaring at Sonic. ''Second: You are too close, Blue Hedgehog.''

''Hehehe, sorry about that, Shadow,'' Sonic quickly stepped away, still grinning.

''We should leave now, or we'll be late,'' Lucas noted, checking the time on his AR Visor.

''Heh, I can clear the distance in seconds if you want me to go ahead,'' Sonic said, stretching his arms and then glancing at Shadow, smirking confidently. ''Do you want to race?''

''Tch…'' Despite the fact that Shadow was annoyed by Sonic's optimistic and overly friendly nature, he couldn't help but smirk at the challenge Sonic had offered. He did respect the blue hedgehog's skills and power. ''You're so persistent.''

Sonic rubbed under his nose with his index finger, still grinning. ''You haven't seen anything.''

As for Sonic, he just keeps annoying Shadow in his own way, with Shadow being quite irritated by the former’s persistence, but still respectful of his skill and power, as well as being unable to resist a challenge.

Finally, the whole group meets up at the Taylor Workshop, where they all agree to establish a proper team, wanting to protect Neos City from any danger, be it Irregulars or something else. The only thing they struggle with is what name to come up with for their team, and after shooting down several, Silver brings up an appropriate name.

''Guys, how about Team Neos?'' Silver suggested, drawing everyone's attention. ''I mean, we all want to protect Neos City, and I think it has a good ring to it.''

After everyone agrees with Team Neos, Silver points out how they need a leader.

Cue everyone staring at Lucas and Sonic.

''Wait, you mean… me?'' he asked, with Silver nodding. Sonic shook his head. ''No, I will stop you right there. I don't want to be a leader.''

''Why not?'' Makoto asked.

''Because I'm not leader material. I had figured that this team would be something where everyone can contribute,'' Sonic explained.

''That is still going to happen, but we would need someone who'd take control of the situation and coordinate us,'' Lily noted. ''Not to mention, you and Lucas are pretty much the reason why we're all here in the first place, so this makes sense.''

''Forget it,'' Sonic replied, shaking his head. ''My shtick is to run around and save the day. I want to help people, but I don't want to be tied down by the responsibility of being the one in charge.''

''Would it be fine with you if I accept?'' Lucas asked, with Sonic giving him a surprised look. ''You don't have to take the responsibility of being a leader, I can take care of that.''

''If you feel like you can do it, then I'm fine with that,'' Sonic replied.

''Alright, then we had all reached an agreement,'' Lucas said, with the rest of the group approving. ''Now, we can finally focus on the Codex Research Facility and its secrets.''

Knuckles the Echidna

Knuckles the Echidna is a major deuteragonist of Sonic Cyber Revolution. He is an Irregular ARNav based on his in-universe video game counterpart and is the partner of Lily Crystle.  

Knuckles is independent, hot-blooded and a proud warrior, very serious in nature, but not without some naivety. Determined and fierce, he likes doing things on his own or with Lily’s aid. He is quite honorable and loyal to a fault to his friends, seeing betrayal as the worst crime in existence. He is quite persistent in accomplishing his quests and is very direct when being honest about a specific topic.

Still, despite his serious nature he can be melodramatic and goofy, not being above joining in on the antics of his friends and having fun in his own way. He is also often seen munching on grapes or grape-flavored food.

Knuckles spent most of his life isolated, searching for a greater purpose; something and someone he could protect. He finally found his calling after meeting Lily, becoming her bodyguard, or as he calls it, her Guardian. He takes his job very seriously and is willing to follow any command Lily gives him, but he will argue if he feels the order he was given clashes with his own principles. Fortunately, that is a rare occurrence, as both appear to operate with the same mindset.

Knuckles is, next to Shadow, the only ARNav who has some formal combat training, having trained by himself all his life and as a result, is able to use his spiked knuckles to deliver powerful punches and even climb steep walls. He is also capable of gliding across the air, although it remains unexplained how that is possible.

When using Chaos Surge alongside Lily, Knuckles is engulfed in red sparks of energy, with his eyes turning from purple to red. This power-up allows him to punch even through the most solid of material, leaving a devastating wave of energy in its wake.

As noted above, Knuckles is quite devoted to Lily, having sworn to protect her as her Guardian. The two have a close relationship, to the point Knuckles is willing to go against Lily’s parents to protect her interests. He also acts as Lily’s personal trainer, deciding to teach her the ways of an echidna warrior, while Lily teaches him about the way of a social life and how life in general in Neos City works.

Knuckles in general has a good relationship with the other members of Team Neos, although he can get annoyed by Sonic’s antics, but still respects the latter. He is also more than willing to participate in any shenanigans Team Neos get themselves into, always ready for a fight.

The only person who appears to give Knuckles trouble is Rouge the Bat, who not only taunts the echidna by trying and succeeding in stealing the gemstone collecting displayed inside the Crystle Mansion, but also keeps teasing Knuckles in a very flirtatious manner. Knuckles often struggles with responding to Rouge’s teasing, being oblivious to the crush she has on him, as well as not realizing his own feelings for her. Instead, he acts as if she’s constantly scheming to make his life more difficult, leaving Rouge herself exasperated. She doesn’t mind it though, as she likes their little back and forth game they have, viewing it as a challenge.

Knuckles is also shown to get along well with Team Chaotix, him and Lily being the ones who had hired them for their first serious case, and whenever he needs help in solving a mystery, he goes to them for advice.

Lily Crystle

Fan Art by Emerald The Lynx  

Lily Crystle is Knuckles’ partner and, alongside the echidna, a member of Team Neos.

Lily is the daughter of the CEO of Rising Quest, an influential video game company, and is quite wealthy as a result, but also very lonely as she had spent all of her life being raised in isolation in her family mansion. Despite having access to anything she desired, Lily wanted to live her life as a normal teenager and be able to go to wherever she wanted in Starpoint Area without supervision, as her parents feared for her safety. This desire resulted in her running away from home temporarily in order to explore Neos City, which is when she encountered Sonic, Lucas, Tails, Warren and Knuckles, who became her partner and Guardian.

Lily is the eldest member of Team Neos and is very down-to-earth, although she can also be every hot-tempered and haughty. She wants to go on adventures as a means to cure her own boredom and will act rebellious towards her parents. She is very loyal to her friends, appreciating their companionship, but also shows a sense of independence. In contrast to Knuckles, she is also more worldly, having a good understanding of how society works and is very responsible. She also tends to be the one to pay for whatever item Team Neos needs, like the AR Visors.

Lily is the only member of Team Neos who has undergone through formal training, being very skilled in kickboxing, with Knuckles acting as her personal trainer. Upon using Chaos Surge, Lily uses her knowledge of close combat to deliver powerful punches and kicks to her enemies, making her own skills even more formidable.

Due to her isolation, Lily has no close friends, so she considers Knuckles her best friend and companion. While she appreciates Knuckles’ devotion towards her, she also looks out for him, with the two making a perfect team that need little to no talk to understand each other’s desires and needs. Nevertheless, she does tend to get exasperated in situations where Knuckles displays his naivety, which usually happens in the presence of Rouge; with Lily being the only one aware that, besides their rivalry, the two also have mutual crush on each other.

As mentioned above, Lily is very loyal to the rest of Team Neos, acting often as the voice of reason and being something of a deadpan snarker, at least whenever she doesn’t get too hot-headed.

Lily also shows closeness with Team Chaotix, deeming the trio of detectives as her friends and often calling for their help and paying for their work whenever she’s at a roadblock. 

Insert Themes:

Unknown From M.E. by Sonic Adventure 2 (Theme of Knuckles)

Links:

#Previous Entry

#Next Entry

#Sonic Cyber Revolution Analyzer (Masterlist)  

#Sonic Cyber Revolution #Sonic Cyber Revolution Analyzer #knuckles the echidna #sonic the hedgehog #sonic adventure 2 #knuxouge #miles tails prower #amy rose #silver the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #metal sonic

[shewhoeatssand]

4 and 19 if you please?

4) Random Ship that you like

hmmmm I’m not hugely into shipping and I’m guessing this is for more rare ships but Etoitorize could be cool. Baddest girl gang you’ve ever seen (and they kiss!!). I’d like to be weird for a second and say that Jesse Pinkman (I have not seen a single episode of Breaking Bad) and Kuroneki would be super cute, I know nothing about Jesse except his science teacher makes him cook meth but Jesse giving Kaneki his beanie when he’s cold <3<3<3 and Kaneki helps him with homework!! Anyone who has actually seen Breaking Bad can go ahead and tell me that I’m insane it’s ok I will encourage you

19) BEST MOMENT IN THE MANGA

100% KANEKI GIVING HINAMI A HAIRCUT. HANDS DOWN BEST MOMENT, I KNOW YOU’RE PROBABLY LIKE “ohhh but Sand!! There’s so many other more significant parts of TG!! This was only one page it’s not important to the plot, it’s not a turning point for anyone’s character and doesn’t mean anything!!!!” AND TO THIS I RESPECTFULLY SAY: ok cool I still like this page the most. ITS CUTE. MY FAVOURITE BOY IS THERE. HE’S HAPPY. HINAMI IS HAPPY. They’re just bonding and that’s it. This scene makes me the happiest out of any directly from the manga and I think about it at least once every 3 days. I’ll list reasons why I personally like it here:

- fluffy Kaneki

- he gives a better haircut than Touka

- he went home and got changed into a different outfit midway through being Out In Town with the boys so he could give her a haircut

- HE WENT BACK OUT AFTERWARDS. Clearly he had other stuff to do that he could have done while he was out, but for whatever reason he needed to give Hinami a haircut Right At That Time. Did they organize an exact time beforehand that ended up not working and required him to go home and then come back outside? Or was he just being impulsive and like “hmmm I feel like giving Hina-chan a haircut right now 😌”?

- Hinami wanted him to study with her afterwards, but he was like “nope absolutely not, I MUST go out and talk to Itori RIGHT NOW. Maybe later :)” which ???????? Slay king

- he has also apparently said “maybe later” a lot of other times, which has me wondering if he’s done this kind of thing before

- his friends called him useful :)<

- Sante (?) suggested that Jiro gets a haircut as well (potentially from Kaneki!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) but Jiro said no :(

I’m not going to try and persuade you that this is the best moment in the entire manga, but you gotta admit this was a cute scene. Which is good contrast for the rest of the manga, and it makes me happy so therefore it is the best.

#thank you for the ask! #tokyo ghoul

[dendylabyrinth]

4. Who has your favorite character design of arc one? What about arc two?

7. What character(s) do you think deserve more love and attention from the writers?

10. Are there any characters you thought you’d dislike, but the writing made you really enjoy them?

20. Was there a moment in the writing (for main story, another story, magical girl side stories, any of the events, ect) that hit you unexpectedly hard?

22. What character do you want to know more about?

4) For Arc 1: Mitama, and for 2, easily Livia. I really like the magician-aesthetic.

7) I’m gonna go ahead and add that (s), because it’s a lot: we got Hinano (even though she did get a significant amount of screentime in the Main Story, it was more of her being involved than focused on her character), there’s also the usual victims of Kanoko and Konomi (although things have been better for Konomi lately, just not to my liking yet), maybe even Sayuki, Mayu, and Ria, haven’t seen that trio in a while, especially any character development from the first two. There are a bunch more, but I can see why the writers haven’t devoted much time lately to the side, considering the Main Story just wrapped up recently, so I can’t really fault them for it.

10) I wouldn’t say disliked, but I can’t say I was all that excited for Himena’s character arch-type back when she first was introduced. The fact that they made her passive for a bunch of the earlier chapters, just being shady in the background didn’t really help. But I gotta say, I found her character fascinating when she was laid bare. Her being an extremely vicious manipulator who WILL dip into emotional manipulation if she needs to all while being an extreme misanthropist and narcissist did make her a solid counterpart to both of Shizuka and Iroha. Seeing her lead Neo-Magius into new extremes that not even Touka went down and seeing how it affects her relationship with Sasha was good writing. And then seeing her unveil after she goes too far too fast and getting dropped by Sasha, Mitsune, and Shigure and Hagumu was a good way to reach the climax of her villain arc. Also seeing her interact with the rest of the faction leaders after that left some memories (her asking point-blank “so are we gonna get back to killing each other or what?” after they hit a setback) Basically, the writing treats Himena as bad as she would be IRL, and that’s great.

20) AKA ‘one of the gayest things to come out of this game’, I have talked about this before, but I love the transition behind Ren’s ‘We can’t go back to how things were’ in this event initially reflects how their friendship is ruined because of an uncomfortable moment transitioning into ‘I know that I can’t go back to how things were’ when she realizes that she sees Rika as more than a friend and that being the reason she felt so much in general throughout (she describes it as ‘Jealousy makes it sound cute. But it’s just pure envy’ and ‘if I were to weight this feeling against her feelings, I bet the scales would break’). My Diary with You is just so good. 22) At this point, the game has covered most of the characters, so it’s mostly going to be minor picks, like say Meguru and Maria. Meguru has barely gotten much in terms of characterization, like maybe the worst case in all of the game even. Maria, on the other hand, I just would like to know more about, the final scene of her MGS adds a bit of darkness for her character that I would like to see explored.

#magia record

[hakucho-art]

Wait wait! Did mea culpa mea culpa have touken??!?!?!!! I don't remember well, but what I do remember is starting it years ago and going through a sizable amount, that it was really well written, but that it didn't reach any touken parts yet so I just kind of gave up.. Should I go back to it for touken, is it worth it?

Hmmm, mea culpa mea culpa wasnt tagged touken, but I remember that there were scenes with clear romantic (sub??)text (tho nothing like getting together or anything, after all touken isnt the primal focus of the fic) and that there were scenes between them that tugged at my heartstrings 🥺

Kaneki also has a crush on touka in that fic, at least Im pretty sure that he does WSKHD. The romance overall is subtle, but its there. I'd say pick it up again if you want a great time travel tg fic with touken being on the side! If you want more romantic touken aka touken being the focus, then you'd starve of them (tho I'd say it's still worth it, cause the few scenes were sooo good 😩💖)

#i gushed about these scenes with yuki #the fic overall is GREAT #im a bit sad now that it never got finished #oh well. maybe someday #tho I'd still recommend the read if you have the patience anon! #asks #hope this mess of a reply even helped you lol

[chairteeth]

Okay but consider: ASTRONOMY LESBIANS

This specific post is going to be me gushing over the astronomy potential Touka and Nemu have with each other and why it makes me feral, it's more me pointing out some things than any actual analysis. Still, here you go, have fun!

So, this is the thesis: Touka is the sun/day and Nemu is the moon/night.

First of all, night and day are intrinsically connected. The sun's light gives the moon its glow during the night and the moon remains present and visible during the day, if a little harder to see in the full light of the sun. The former sounds an awful lot like how Touka gave Nemu visibility to the general public through the website for her books and continues to do so on the regular, dutifully, and the latter is to me the same effect as any scene they're in together; everyone in-universe and outside of it always pays more attention to Touka, because she's the more boisterous one, louder, etc. The radiant sun, too bright to ignore compared to the soft glow of the moon.

Now, I love the moon's effect on the oceans on Earth. Its control over the tides is due to its gravity being strong enough that the tide is pulled slightly closer to it. If you look at when the tides are highest, you'll see that tides are always highest when the moon is directly overhead, but there's also another high tide on the opposite side of the planet. If you mapped it out, you'd get this oval shape of the tides, where a "tip" of the oval is always pointing at the moon. Well guess what, the SUN also does this! It's just less noticeable, but it's why low tide doesn't always happen when you think it would. And since they both do this, their effects can be combined! This is why the highest of tides always occur around full and new moons, with the effects being even stronger during lunar eclipses, and with solar eclipses being the strongest of them all, which probably added to the effect of ancient civilizations freaking out during them cause the tide was so high, it just added to the chaos of the sun being blocked out too. Tides are highest about the full and new moons because that is when the moon and the sun are lined up. Gee doesn't that sound familiar and like it could apply to a certain pair of idiots who work really well together (as per Ui's words).

Here's a helpful visual gif for the tide thing and some quotes from the National Ocean Service:

Together, the gravitational pull of the moon and the sun affect the Earth’s tides on a monthly basis. When the sun, moon, and Earth are in alignment (at the time of the new or full moon), the solar tide has an additive effect on the lunar tide, creating extra-high high tides, and very low, low tides — both commonly called spring tides. One week later, when the sun and moon are at right angles to each other, the solar tide partially cancels out the lunar tide and produces moderate tides known as neap tides.

And as a fun extra:

Once a month, at perigee, when the moon is closest to the Earth, tide-generating forces are higher than usual, producing above average ranges in the tides. About two weeks later, at apogee, when the moon is farthest from the Earth, the lunar tide-raising force is smaller, and the tidal ranges are less than average. When the Earth is closest to the sun (perihelion), around January 2 of the calendar year, tidal ranges are enhanced. At aphelion, when the Earth is furthest from the sun, around July 2, tidal ranges are reduced

So like. I don't think I need to point out the moon's distance from the sun and its effects here. Now let me go to something else: Touka and Nemu have a dual unit, the attribute of which is darkness. Here's a tidbit about it that I yoinked from another post:

Your pupils contract in response to visible light, but not all of the sun’s light is visible. During an eclipse, your pupils widen because it’s dark, but there’s an outer layer around the sun that mostly only puts out light that’s not visible to us, but that can still damage your retinas. Thus, looking at an eclipse makes your pupils open up like it’s dark, which lets more of the invisible damage beams in. The sun doesn’t get a critical multiplier on its damage when HP is low. Equipping the moon gives the sun a bonus to backstab.

And then I pointed out the dual unit and its attribute, like an eclipse. Such an apt metaphor. Now, this isn't all, though the astronomy rant is far less connected and organized than the other more essay-ish posts, but I just wanted to cover at least some of the bond things before I yell about why each of them fits their assigned astral body/time so well. Actually... Let's consider the solar wind for a second.

So, for those with less astronomy knowledge, here are the basics. The sun releases a continuous outflow of particles and radiation that we call the solar wind. The solar wind washes over the planets, moons and other bodies in our solar system, and every object, planet or person traveling through space has to contend with this. Our moon in particular has the scars (or bad tan) to prove it. Ever wondered what gives the moon that distinctive pattern of darker and lighter swirls? That would be the sun over there. Or, well, research suggests that the solar wind and the moon’s crustal magnetic fields (bubbles of "sunscreen") work together to give that pattern. See, here on Earth, we’re largely protected from the damaging effects of the solar wind, because it's magnetized, therefore Earth’s natural magnetic field deflects the solar wind particles around our planet so that only a small fraction of them reach our planet’s atmosphere. The moon however has no global magnetic field. It's magnetized rocks near the lunar surface that create those small, localized spots of magnetic field that I referred to as "bubbles of sunscreen" up there, because they kinda are acting like sunscreen by deflecting solar wind particles on a much smaller scale than Earth’s magnetic field. The surface of the moon isn't really made of "just rock" (it's called regolith, actually), and so as those particles flow toward the moon, they are deflected to the areas just around the magnetic bubbles, where chemical reactions with the regolith darken the surface. And there is Something To Be Said about this, something intimate about it... Something something accepting every part of someone else, something something being permanently marked and irreversibly changed by another (I've called them twin flames before)...

Here are some points to consider, particularly for Nemu:

They spend more time under the light of day (Touka, early riser, "rise with the sun" is very likely literal for her since she gets up long enough before school time to have more than enough time to do Things as per her quotes) vs awake at night (Nemu habitually staying up late to read and write, we have many lines about it particularly from the quotes, and a visual from the anime).

Nemu has been depicted dramatically in front of the moon twice, once in her intro in Arc 1 Chapter 7 and once in the anime, I believe final season's first episode? The flashback, right after they put Ui in Mokyu and have the whole exchange about it on the roof of the hospital.

In relation to the phases of the moon: as the moon goes around the Earth, different parts of it are illuminated by the sun, and we see a different amount of light reflected back at us, and I have decided that relates to how Nemu adapts seamlessly to whatever Touka's mood is because she just knows her that well (gestures vaguely at that sunset scene in Touka's MGS or any of the other times when Nemu knows it's not the right time to take a jab at Touka and so on and so forth), but honestly there's a huge number of gay interpretations of it. AND it's accurate to the way Nemu acts as a Magius, kind of, when it comes to the Feathers at least. People normally remember her as the Magius who was kindest to the Feathers (full moon, brightest guiding light), but she was also the one doing the brainwashing, giving the massacre orders, and delighting over her suggestion of using the Feathers as a shield (new moon, known as the dark side).

Feelings of being neglected/ignored/not noticed by passersby or people around her could be related to how the new moon is, literally Not Visible™️ to the naked eye except when it is silhouetted against the sun during a solar eclipse (COUGH). Plus, you could argue the fact that people love Nemu most when she's giving them something (light, full moon).

In terms of giving, let's hop over to Touka for a second:

The sun is constantly giving off energy. Light, heat, life. It's quite impossible to forget the sun is there, unlike the moon (or well it's more like you always sort of actively notice the sun, but not the moon due to its subtler presence). Aligns pretty well with Touka's.......... everything. Including the compulsion to take center stage. There is nothing else in the sky besides the sun during the day, it is alone in the heavens save for the subtle presence of the moon, which nobody else notices.

Then there's this post which I will quote here:

Big fan of sun motifs in characters not necessarily being about positivity and happiness and how they're so "bright and warm" but instead being about fucking brutal they are. Radiant. A FORCE of nature that will turn you to ash. That warmth that burns so hot it feels like ice. Piercing yellow and red and white. A character being a Sun because you cannot challenge a Sun without burning alive or taking everything down with them if victorious.

ALIGNS PRETTY WELL WITH TOUKA DOESN'T IT. Almost a little bit too literal in some senses! Being bright and warm does apply to her as well, mind you, she's bright in the intelligent sense and to some extent the temperament sense (though she is a lot less bright than she pretends to be with the very eerie cheerful mask she likes to wear), and she's warm and nurturing towards the people she cares about. Speaking of warm and nurturing, the sunlight makes plants grow, Nemu is a forest attribute in-game and has forest magic, nurtured by the fire of the sun (Touka, a flame attribute magical girl with the corresponding fire magic).

I've compared these two to binary stars in a fic before, but I really love their sun/day and moon/night possibilities! You can even interpret a few things like this:

Under a scorching sun, you are blinded, and in deserts caused by its rays you are likely to experience hallucinations, mirages. I can relate this to Touka's mask-wearing habits, for example. The sun is unyielding and you will never escape its effects completely no matter how hard you try. It's what allows life to exist and simultaneously also a force of destruction, much like fire itself. I could go on a related rant about how TouNemu's attributes really really fit them- I will stop myself before I do however.

Back to Nemu's side of things again. The night is often considered the most dangerous time of day pretty much everywhere around the world, but that's not quite right. It's because the night is obscured in darkness, quiet, secretive. You cannot know the night. It's fully possible that something will jump out at you at any point (assuming you're out and about), and you can never be 100% sure that nothing will. You have a higher chance of slipping, and good god if you've ever been outside in bumfuck nowhere with no lights around in the mountains or something on a new moon, you know very well how difficult navigation becomes without the moon's guidance

But, the night, especially in the East, is often considered shelter as well (from what I've gathered). The quietness aspect is retained over there, but it's seen in a more positive light, and the different attributes of the nighttime are more appreciated and respected compared to the West, in my experience digging into stuff at least. The night can easily be what soothes people after enduring the flames of the day. Whether literally because of the heat or just because for most people, daytime is work time, it's Getting Things Done time. Nighttime has always been more… for the self, to relax and to think. More intimate. Humans don't really work according to nature these days, but pieces of it are still present in how the night remains much quieter than the day, in how a teenager might feel safer, more raw and more connected with their true self in the dead of night on their phone under the covers than at any other time of the day, etc. It's a time of rest for a majority of living beings. Slower and less hectic than the daytime.

"What about those who are up at ungodly hours of the night still having hours-long conversations?" That's meaningful. It's necessary for the human mind, for our hearts. That's rest. It constitutes a "shelter" for the people in question. Those convos I'd bet are not about work or about stressors in their lives, but rather about things they find genuinely interesting and/or things they love. Or, alternatively, venting, yes, but even that counts as "unwinding" and reaching something closer to peace.

There's also something to be said about how Touka relies on Nemu so often (she says as much in her regular Tap 8 quote), and looks to her for guidance like the sailors of old looked up at the night sky for directions. Nemu is drawn to Touka like the moon is affected by the sun's gravity, and Touka loves her and studies her (she REALLY pays attention to Nemu, as I've pointed out before) like humans have always studied and observed the night sky.

AND also Touka = lantern, light. Nemu = sleep. Just saying.

COUGH. Yes. So. This has been my series of thoughts on TouNemu astronomy lesbianism. I'm pretty sure you can see how each point relates to the characters pretty clearly.

#magia record #nishiposting #tounemu #nemu hiiragi #touka satomi

[hakiarleon]

23,27 and 29 for the ask thing

maiiiii 🥺 ily thanks for asking

23. Favorite fancontent that you've created

ahhh i havent done much for ans and i really want to do more, but probably that retsu fic i put on ao3 ages ago. it was entirely written at like 2am and it was so fun talking to z about it after (i think i sent it to u too, i was a little obsessed with it) its got a really special place in my heart. definitely want to continue it but in a different format maybe, since it was originally meant to be a longfic and those dont really work with me.

aside from oc content, i really like my recent wistalia brothers colouring! it was so fun to experiment with :D ive got another izana colouring i started right after that one that im slowly adding to while i figure out how shading works!

27. Best part of the series

any scene with ot3 in it <3 im especially partial to the lilias vacation date, it was everything. the single scene im most obsessed with is these ryu and kageya pages (spoiler for late manga!) the "did you hope to become a knight?" lives rent free

29. Things you still don’t understand

ngl like... most of the subtext when izana speaks. he goes over my head so often im sorry im too dumb for you. also i genuinely dont understand how touka managed to get so far in his plot right under haruto's nose like i get being a milf is a full time occupation but youve also got another job you know 😔💔 the bergatt arc was fun but i dont get how she wasnt involved with it at all

#ask game #ily i know most of this means nothing to u #read ans pls <3333

[tokyoghoulaspecs]

Your aplatonic hcs for Apl visibility day?

All four of the aces!

[ID: A compilation of the 4 ace cards from the Tokyo Ghoul card deck: Kaneki, Hide, Touka, and Tsukiyama. END ID]

Kaneki always struck me as aplatonic in how both he acts and the narrative that surrounds him. It's mentioned quite often that, prior to the series, he's often alone and has only ever had 1 friend in Hide, who was the person to approach him and ask to be friends. And Kaneki never seems bothered by only ever having one friend. Even when he does end up making an entire found family throughout the series, it's all because the situations brought them together and made them all bond. He doesn't ever go out of his way to befriend any of them.

[ID: An edit of black-haired Kaneki against the aplatonic flag. Kaneki is seen from the shoulders up, smiling with his eyes closed. He’s wearing a white eyepatch and his Anteiku uniform. The aplatonic flag has dark purple / blue / green / cream yellow stripes. End ID]

And Hide, which I think is a really interesting one!

Your first impression of him tends to be, "oh he's extroverted so he has tons of friends". But that's canonly incorrect that he has a lot of friends. He also only has Kaneki. And it's subtle, but its there in the visuals a lot that Kaneki is the only person he genuinely likes and considers a friend.

[ID: Two manga panels showing Hide sitting at a table and talking with two club members, an utterly bored expression on his face. End ID]

I specifically headcanon him as greyplatonic, as someone who's greyplatonic myself. I think he sometimes does feel platonic attraction, but it's quite rare.

[ID: An edit of Hide against the grey-platonic flag. He is on his bike, seen from the knees up from an above angle. He’s wearing a blue jacket and a red and white cap, and he's looking upward at the camera with a closed mouth smile. The grey-platonic flag has blue / green / cream yellow / green / blue stripes. End ID]

Tsukiyama is pretty easy to headcanon as demi-platonic!

His entire story arc centers around realizing that he cares a lot platonically for his friends, and it took him a while to feel that way, and then 3 years to finally realize it!

[ID: A manga panel showing a flashback of Tsukiyama with Kaneki's group. Tsukiyama is interacting with Hinami, and everyone else is seated around them. Banjou is bringing coffee over, and Kaneki and Ichimi are in the forefront looking back at them. Text over the image has Tsukiyama saying "I really enjoyed those days." End ID]

Tsukiyama also has a lot of scenes saying that he doesn't connect well with other people, which is a pretty common aplatonic experience. He mentions this when he meets Kaneki at Kamii, and its also implied from the omakes of him with Chie, as well as that she's his only friend.

[ID: An edit of Tsukiyama against the demi-platonic flag. Tsukiyama has his kagune around his arm and is thrusting forward in an attack. The demi-platonic flag has the original demi flag design: a black triangle on the left, a thin yellow stripe coming out from the right tip of the triangle, with a large white stripe above and grey below the yellow stripe. End ID]

As for Touka, I don't really have as much specific evidence for. She's just my favorite character and she's purple and blue and so I want to headcanon her as aplatonic too.

[ID: An edit of Touka against the aplatonic flag. She's seen from the chest up, crossing her arms with a neutral expression, and she's wearing a blue sweater over a white collared shirt. The aplatonic flag has dark purple / blue / green / cream yellow stripes. End ID]

But in general, the way that Tokyo Ghoul is written - both the characters themselves and the narrative surrounding relationships - always struck me as quite aplatonic. There's not the same "power of friendship" as other stories tend to, or ever any insinuation that any of the characters are lonely or terrible people for not having any friends. Even when it comes close to this, its for other reasons. Like Kaneki cuts off his friends because he's in a toxic mindset, or he was lonely growing up not because he only had Hide as a friend, but because all of his other relationships were bad and abusive.

And, you didn't ask but, Ishida Sui's current work Choujin X also has very similar writing and narratives, and I headcanon the main character Tokio Kurohara as aplatonic too!

[ID: An edit of Tokio from Choujin X against the aplatonic flag. He's sitting down on stairs, leaning against his knees and with a hand draped over his shoulder, a neutral expression on his face. End ID]

#tokyo ghoul #aplatonic #aplatonic day of visibility #apl headcanons #aplatonic headcanons #aplatonic!kaneki #aplatonic!hide #aplatonic!tsukiyama #aplatonic!touka #greyplatonic!hide #demiplatonic!hide #apl #asks

[captain-astors]

Kaneki 24 26 30, Hide 16 20 & Rio 15 and 18 for the ask game :DD (I am full of questions)

I have decided I like this ask game a lot, less time but I have to think about it a bit more deeply. Also I love these choices thank you so much these creatures are my DEARS.

KANEKI: 

24. What do you think is a secret they have that they never told anyone?

This man tells absolutely no one anything ever and it causes A LOT OF PROBLEMS. But if we’re talking just harmless things he’s embarrassed about, Haise had an entire theory about where he came from and who he was, including things like who he could possibly be related to (read: imagining a healthy, loving family for himself that was just ambiguously out there.) In hindsight he thinks that was way too optimistic and probably just manifestations of memories of his friends. Also he broke a coffee pot once early on in Anteiku and refused to admit it out of fear, because Touka looked like she was going to actually murder the culprit.

26. When do you think they were being "themselves" the most? Difficult to answer as I'm not sure who "Kaneki" is supposed to be. When he didn't have to worry about any of this ghoul stuff? He said himself he was lonely and shelled in. Post Jason? Probably not. Haise? Technically not “him”. He’s pretty much a completely different character by the end of :re so that’s difficult to judge. I suppose… any time he’s just rambling about his favorite books with no regard for how passionate he sounds, to Rize, to Tsukiyama, to Hinami, and any other instance. It just seems very sweet and genuine.

30. The funniest scene they had? Also tricky because if I was laughing it was typically at how miserable he was (sorry) I guess the scene when Kaneki, constantly searching for "truths," straight up tells the guy offering to elaborate on it all "No thanks I'm just going to beat you up." Also the hug scenes with Akira are all near and dear to my heart but the first one was hysterical.

HIDE: 

16. A childhood headcanon.

The kind of kid to wear dinosaur/superhero hoodies every single day. His dads were completely fine with this because he looked adorable.

20. A weird headcanon.

He definitely wears those grippy socks. Just around the house. Not for any particular reason he just got them at a trampoline park or something and doesn’t want to slip on the kitchen floor. Also he can, has, and possibly will again lick someone’s salt lamp at a sleepover.

SHIKORAE/RIO: I’m answering this for pre and post Cochlea when I can because this is a chance I may only get once.

15. Worst storyline they had.

For Shikorae! Post-dragon Kakuja. The extremely traumatized and unwell ghoul who is perhaps one of the most harmed by their old society CONTINUES to be scorned by the new one, but it’s okay because he’s too unwell to be instantly adjusted into society! He’s basically an animal right?

Rio! The Touka crush, it really felt like pandering to the audience. Your main character doesn't have to be Kaneki the Sequel guys, I suppose it could be argued he was so undersocialized that he just was immediately infatuated with the first pretty girl he met but leaving the closest thing you have to a home as a result of the rejection of that feels... odd. Probably the intense attachment issues at work. It makes sense to some extent I just think there were better ways to justify his departure. It is funny to me that Touka had a crush on him too allegedly , so she definitely has a type.

18. How do you think they were as a kid? (Like, were they shy, noisy, wild, etc)

Well, we kind of know given that he is a kid in Jail, but if we’re talking before that as well, like 6-10 years old,

SO shy and surprisingly weak for a ghoul kid. To put it simply, his brother wouldn’t bring him on hunts, and at that would hardly bring him outside out of fear, so he wasn’t getting nearly enough vitamin D or exercise. It didn’t help that due to his mutation, his RC pathways have always prioritized “must make more kagune” over maintaining the state of his body, because it basically works by treating his current Kagunes as if they weren’t there, and therefore his body thinks he is unarmed at all times, and by extent it thinks he needs to create a new one constantly.

His brother did his best to feed him enough to maintain both functions, but whereas most ghoul kids are durable enough to at least make a break for it before even adult ghouls can go for the kill, Rio probably could’ve been taken out with a quinque steel knife if the wielder managed to get past the swirling mess of Kagune.

He did crave companionship though, and when his brother trusted another ghoul enough to introduce them to him he was generally considered to be very sweet, if timid.

#tokyo ghoul #miscellaneous not art things #shikorae #ken kaneki #hide nagachika #I think I will enjoy doing these greatly.

[mahou-furbies]

Top 5 favourite Magia Record moments (can be from any part of the franchise)

6. The day Moka was added to the franchise.

5. Mami joins a cult, for the memes.

4. The Ui-Touka-Nemu flashback from s3. Not really a "moment" but I thought the whole episode was really good both from the emotional standpoint and also explaining the story.

3. Sana finds a place where she belongs. I suppose everyone likes this trope.

2. Sayaka in s1 finale. Since she has a bit of a memetic loser reputation it's nice to see her from a different point of view where she can be super badass.

1. Kuroe's fate. I don't like how her death fit as a part of the larger story (in that from the main character's POV the deaths of her beloved sisters should be more impactful than that of someone you barely know) but on its own I found her final scene beautifully made. And since this genre is full of characters who are ready to jump in to save every random passerby that fits their field of vision, I liked for once seeing a desperate teenager prioritise self-preservation instead. Shame she had such a tragic end but maybe in a different timeline someone manages to save her.

#puella magi madoka magica #magia record #responses

[thewhitefluffyhat]

The Problems with Magius

To add context to my thoughts on the finale of the Magia Record anime, here’s a condensed version of a post I’d been meaning to put up a ages ago regarding my frustrations with the finale of the Magia Record game.

tl;dr: The problem with Magius as villains in the game was that doppels were legit and the heroes implicitly represented a return to Kyuubey’s status quo. As a result, Magius then kicked puppies to make up for the fact that the story as a whole lacked any cohesive argument or theme.

“The villains have a point, so the writers have them cross an unrelated moral line to justify the heroes defeating them" is a common yet unsatisfying writing shortcut, and Magius fits right into the pattern.  Indeed, the reason I lost interest in MagiReco so drastically after the first anime season aired was that said Season 1 finale suggested that the anime would take that direction too!

It’s an offshoot of the general problem that the game’s writers seemed to have no idea what story they wanted to tell besides "Team Iroha good, Magius evil."

As-is, the game couldn't make up its mind on exactly why the Magius were evil. Was this a story about sympathetic kids who were genuinely trying to help everyone and went so far into "the ends justify the means" that they accidentally became what they hated: well-intentioned extremists like Kyuubey?  Or was this a story of magic fascists who wanted to seize power for themselves and enact magical girl supremacy over humanity?

The basic outline of the plot (especially the whole Ui backstory which is foreshadowed from the start, and which made it inevitable that Touka and Nemu will be trivially redeemed) went hard on the former. But then the visual imagery and rhetorical trappings vaguely gestured at the latter and it suddenly got very messy.

And I do mean "vaguely." Touka gave a few speeches, but the plot never actually explored what "magical girl fascists" would even mean for the rest of humanity. The Magius leaders' ambitions weren’t especially threatening - even Touka's desire was to blast off and meet aliens rather than crush humanity in the grip of her iron fist. And the Magius grunts were either magically brainwashed, never knew about the "magical girl supremacy" angle, or talked about real problems like the prejudice against Kamihama’s Eastern districts. The end result was truly bizarre, a fascist cult that was not interested in fostering hate, fear, or control of the "other" they were supposedly targeting!

Instead, the Magius had correctly identified the true source of their struggles (Kyuubey's system), and had a functional solution that even the heroes admitted was already saving lives. So the Magius leaders got impatient and started kicking puppies because... well, because Touka is an immature 11-year-old, apparently.

Meanwhile, Magia Record as a game was fundamentally focused on magical girls vs magical girls, to the point where the non-magical girl characters didn’t even get detailed portraits. You'd think a story about magical fascism would prioritize the perspectives of the people they would hurt, right? At bare minimum, shouldn't they include a non-magical girl on Team Iroha? But in practice, neither the rank-and-file Magius nor Team Iroha actually showed any interest in this angle of the plot.

(The above scene where Team Iroha tries to come up with aspects of Kamihama they want to save and awkwardly list buildings instead of people makes the lack of non-magical girl characters especially blatant, in my opinion. Sorry Tsuruno, I really don’t care about some unnamed shopping center!)

The result was a nasty thematic tangle, where uhhh, I guess the Magius said they are magic fascists, except the game wasn’t going to talk about the day-to-day implications of any of that and also ultimately the system they created was so unambiguously beneficial for both magical girls and humans that the “happy ending” keeps it in place!

However… when your story ends with "the villain's system is a good thing, now that the heroes are in charge of it," maybe consider not equating the villains with fascists?  Because now your heroes kind of look like fascists too, oops!

Also, reinforcing the "villains kick puppies because villains" problem was that just like other stories in that lazy mold, our "heroes" were fighting for a return to the oppressive status quo while only the antagonists were advocating for any change to address the genuine problems. It had always been a huge frustration for me that Arc 1 Iroha never, ever came up with her own alternative to Kyuubey's system. Even by the end of the story, when Team Iroha was attacking Magius grunts in their base, she had nothing to offer them but empty platitudes that amounted to "we'll work together to find a solution later! :)"

Though, to be honest, I was pretty lukewarm on Team Iroha since the beginning of the game. Their motivations started out as the incredibly boring and obvious "wow the shady bad guys look shady so we don't trust them." Now pile on the broad themes of the witch system. When witches are symbolically representative of darker emotions (and even maturity itself) being considered an ugly, uncontrollable thing in women, then it's not exactly a progressive look when your antagonists stand for "let's use witches to empower ourselves and overthrow our oppressors" and the best your protagonists can muster is a kneejerk "but witches baaaad" response.

So yeah. The magical girl supremacy aspect could have been an interesting story, but it would have required completely reworking both the Magius leaders and Team Iroha's backstories and characterization. In addition to rewriting the entire plot to actually focus on the "we want power" angle rather than the "legitimately beneficial alternative to Kyuubey's system" angle.

But I think if you wanted to salvage the wreckage of Magia Record’s Arc 1 Main Story, you'd be far better off deleting the fascism angle and just sticking to "kids messed with powers they couldn't control to tragic consequences." Sure, it's been done in other Madoka Magica spin offs before, but at least it would have been coherent with the existing characters and setting mechanics.  And not, you know, requiring an unearned chain of multiple deus ex machinas in order to preserve the villain’s system that the heroes spent the entire story committing to destroy.

#magia record #magia record analysis #magius #satomi touka #tamaki iroha #magia record critical #magia record na #my ramblings #read more #you can tell this post is super old #given that I took screenshots for it while the NA game was live! #XD #not that my feelings have changed since then though...