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hopeless-ro-simptic · 3 years

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Familiar Cerulean Eyes- Pt 19

Click Here for a full list of other parts! Part 20

Warnings: Angsty Shiggy, this gets a little fluffy. Next chapter is worse.

Word Count: Just under 2k

I would like to say thank you so much to those of you who have been patiently waiting on me to update this story. I got really stuck on this chapter and wasn’t sure how I wanted to get from point A to point B but after for freaking ever it’s finally done. We are having a little bit of calm before the storm and I think this is a really cute idea. Getting to the end guys, things are going to be going down in just a few more chapters. Thank you so much for all the support on this!

TAGLIST: @superblyspeedydragon @jparra4587 @flyingowls @emrysaf @imuziawi @sheedaabee @peculiarinsomniac @littlelovebug98 @plutoneu @giftofwonder @kitty-kat-ash @fukyouthink @anarchys-bnha-mess @threbony @orenjineki @toobsessedsstuff @bamf-barnes @x-a-delama-x @inanabsentia @reallyshey @godsblesstheboi @drownedbytears @emilymikado @fluidfandoms @mikasackrmann @bohica160 @andrastesbeard @percabethismyotp14 @celestiallustre @moon-spirit-yue @hecatve @bakugoshrimp @vanillanjin @toshiuwuu @rxinbowrena @therealwalmartjesus @callmepopcorn @xxdumb-bitchxx @medicinalkiwis @kat-unzel @headfirst-halo @capricorn-nightmare @annie-daetris @skumtrash @totorotoni @kst-chernish @itsmysticalmystery @the-occasional-artist1125 @beautifulparisiangirl @stanzastic @helena-way07 @aurorahoneybuns @cth-l @nightlygiggless @filledasaf @hailstorm888 @ozzy-bozzy @girrawr13 @hawkssnugget @dabilittleslut @over-grown-emo-kid @sasageyowrites @littledustyflame @h0wab0utw3d0ntd0that @thefirewasfriendly @babayaga67 @kiegosbby @foxes-and-arrows

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“Sir we have eyes on the target.”

“How many times do I have to tell you coffee is not a target. It’s a beverage. You’re not funny.”

“N-No sir, I mean… S-shigaraki. I have eyes on Shigaraki.” The sidekick tried to whisper so not to alarm the surrounding civilians. They didn’t want to incite a panic.

“What?! Where?!” The hero screamed into the cellphone making the side kick wince and pull it from their ear, gaining a few glances.

“Electronics store, south side.” The side kick rattled off the address, there eyes glued to black hoodied figure, fear freezing them in place as they watched from the café across the street. What are the odds of locating the number 1 villain in Japan while just picking up the team’s morning coffee? The hero continued to rant and ask questions into the cellphone but the sidekick’s brain was numb, watching as the blue haired villain just, casually, wandered over to the electronic stores counter, setting down what looked like some controllers and cords for the new console that was out, and just…. Paid?

What the fuck.

“…Do you hear me? Do not engage, but do not lose him. We need to know where he goes.” The side kick zoned back in on the instructions that the hero was giving. Mentally kicking themselves. They were a professional. They needed to be calm.

“Yes sir. I will track the target…. What should I do about the coffee?”

“Are you kidding me? Screw the coffee!”

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You watched as Shigaraki walked into the bar, barely giving you an annoyed glare when you took a cautious sniff as he entered the room. He smelled just faintly of honey… and something else… but you left it alone, not wanting to incur the alpha’s wrath again after last time. Still, your brain questioned as to if that soft lingering scent was of an omega… and if so was it just a random one.. or the one that he had been hiding away from everyone else?

“Did Tomura just walk in? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him walk anywhere. I thought he was an invalid since Kurogiri is always just teleporting him wherever he wants to go.” Dabi’s voice made your lips raise in a smile, leaning back against him as he came up behind where you were sitting at the bar, a bowl of ramen in front of you, feeling yourself warm up as he slipped his arms around your waist leaning down and kissing the top of your head.

“He insisted I stay here in case of a raid. A split second could mean the difference between us all getting caught or getting away. We don’t have One for All to save us this time.” Kurogiri shut down the conversation with a pointed look. Clearly, he knew better than to gossip about the alpha behind his back. Or he was trying to keep something a secret.

It didn’t matter anyways, the conversation long forgotten as Toga burst into the room with Twice in tow, an excited look on her face. Her usually soft beta scent sharper and bubbling out around her.

“Twice had the best idea!”

“I really didn’t. I always have good ideas.” The two of them came to a stop in the middle of the room, Spinner looking up from his game that he was playing on the couch in the corner seeming almost interested in what the two had to say. Toga was practically bouncing in place as she looked from Twice to everyone else and back to Twice.

“Well tell them!”

“Toga it was stupid, I really don’t think they are going to agre-“

She interrupted him immediately her wide smile turning towards you.

“We should have a party!”

Dabi snorted and turned around, ignoring the smaller blonde, Kurogiri resumed cleaning up from cooking and even Spinner turned back to his game, checking out of the world again. Everyone else in the room was completely ignoring the blonde whose eyes were focused on yours so intently you couldn’t help but swallow. Even Twice was looking up at the ceiling like he was wishing he could be raptured into the heavens to escape the room.

“Toga… why would we have a party?” You tried to reason with her, shrinking back as she bounded over to you taking your hands between hers, her smile wide and toothy.

“To celebrate! Duh! We all need to have fun and relax.”

“But what are we celebrating?”

She paused for a second, a pout on her lips like she was suddenly upset about something before the pout disappeared completely and her smile was back.

“You two getting married of course!”

Dabi choked on his drink, and you could feel your cheeks growing redder by the second. Even Twice looked back to the two of you confusion written all over his face before it transformed into what could only be described as the joy of a puppy.

“You’re getting married? How romantic! You should marry me instead.” He slid up to Dabi wrapping an arm around his shoulder and waggling his eyebrows only for Dabi to push him off a frown on his face as he whirled to face Toga.

“What the hell are you talking about?” You couldn’t help but bristle at the annoyance that was in his tone. Sure Toga was being…. Toga, but he didn’t have to act like getting married was the worst thing he ever heard.

“You’re already bonded, now it’s time to make it official.”

“Bonding makes it official. No one gets married anymore other than rich assholes who want to show off and throw a big party.”

“My parents did..”

“Oh my bad, and dick heads who sell their kids to those rich assholes.”

An awkward silence filled the room as you closed your eyes pretending for a brief moment that he did not just say that. Maybe you imagined it.

“… Y/n?” Toga’s worried voice was soft, and you could smell it as the excitement in her scent was fading quickly, being replaced with a calming beta scent.

Nope, he definitely said that. Taking a deep breath as you steadied yourself before glaring over at Dabi who looked like he was beyond pissed at himself for even opening his mouth.

“Exactly how long have you two known each other?” Shigaraki’s voice spoke up from the doorway that he was watching from, his fingers dropping from his bond mark, it red and raw from previous scratching.

You couldn’t help but sigh in frustration, looking over to Dabi again to see he had his head against the counter of the bar, blocking the rest of them out as he ran his fingers through his hair. For someone who was supposed to be great at lying, he was messing up a lot lately. It was like he wasn’t even trying to hide things anymore.

“How long have I been here?” You shrugged looking back to your ramen and pulling some into your mouth to occupy it. Everyone knew that was a load of bullshit, but you weren’t about to be the one to spill Dabi’s all important secret.

Toga was still looking at you with wide eyes. Eyes filled with pity but also with unbridled affection. You knew she didn’t have the greatest parent’s herself, no matter how much she tried to play it off and deny it. You knew everyone here had parental issues. You weren’t special. None of them were crying about it, and why should you?

Still, the look she was giving you made your throat burn and eyes prick. You pushed past it though and kept your face as neutral as you could. You barely even remembered what your parents looked like. What they did shouldn’t matter to you anymore.

“How long Dabi?”

“It doesn’t matter.” He grumbled against the counter, tapping it twice to signal Kurogiri to get him another drink. You agreed with his statement, it really shouldn’t matter to the rest of the league when the two of you met, or how long you had known each other, but you knew that Shigaraki would take it personally.

“I said how long!” Shigaraki was fuming now, angry that secrets were being kept from him from those who he was supposed to trust. His alpha ruffling up and itching to come out. How could he trust them if they wouldn’t even answer that simple question?

“How long have you known your omega? Huh? How long have you been sneaking out to see them risking us all getting caught?” Dabi whirled on him, getting up so fast that the bar stool tipped over making a loud crash that had you Toga and Twice all wincing, Kurogiri freezing completely. Even Spinner looked up from his game, slowly putting it down like he was ready to separate the two.

Shigaraki’s eyes immediately turned to you, but before he could even take a step towards you Dabi’s voice continued as he pushed himself between you and the angry alpha.

“She didn’t tell me. We all knew, we’ve all known since the first time you disappeared and came back smelling like fucking lilies.”

Shigaraki stopped, looking wildly around the room, his anger still apparent, his fingers itching for something to decay as he looked at all of the league’s members for confirmation.

Toga frowned at him before nodding, keeping her distance and letting out her best calming scent that she could, only for Shigaraki to snarl at her in annoyance, taking a step towards her.

“Stop with that fucking smell. It stinks. You think I need to be comforted like a fucking pup?”

“When you’re fucking acting like one, yea.” Twice stepped between Shigaraki and Toga and even Shigaraki looked genuinely surprised by the Beta’s act of defiance. Twice was never known to go against the alpha’s in the group, especially toe to toe with the dangerous leader himself.

“Tomura…” The smaller beta peeked her head out from behind Twice who was currently puffing his chest trying to look half as intimidating as the alpha in front of him. “None of us care if you have an omega, or if you want to keep them away from us. We know you just want to keep them safe.”

Shigaraki looked around again, noting the similar looks of slight annoyance and understanding before his eyes landed back onto Spinner, probably his closest friend in the league minus Kurogiri. Spinner only shrugged before speaking softly. “I just assumed you would tell us when you were ready. You know we wouldn’t hurt them.”

Tomura paused, his body relaxing slightly as he looked at the ground, almost like he was ashamed of something, his reaction maybe. It was silent for a moment or two before he finally glanced up at you and Dabi a grumble leaving his lips shoving his hands into his hoodie pocket with a shrug, the topic effectively dropped.

“So are we having a wedding or not?”

The groan that left Dabi’s lips had you pouting until he caught sight of the look on your face and caved, pulling you into him looking down at you, his face neurtral and lazy to everyone else but you knew better, you could see the adoration hiding in his cerulean eyes.

“Fine. If you want to throw a dumb party, we will throw a party. But I am absolutely not wearing a tux.”

You couldn’t lie… the thought of him in a tux had you absolutely giddy.

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amethystroselilith · 3 years

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Intertwined Fates (Chilumi/Zhonglumi) - Chapter 5

Yea so... uhm... I may or may have been addicted to anime during vacation and the next thing I knew, uni started again and uhm... we're a month in now... So much for me promising to be active in writing smh...

Also, I learned how to add pictures! Chapter 3 is updated for the ring picture :)

Can be read in ao3 here

SUMMARY:

Plans don't always go the way it is

Lumine can’t help but smile as Qiqi’s laughter filled their living room. Her heart can’t help but melt at the sight of her future husband, and her father pretends to be monsters and make fool of themselves to entertain the little girl. Lumine can’t help but chuckle to herself, her daughter completely has these powerful men wrapped around her little fingers.

“A beach wedding is such a wonderful idea, Lumine! Your aunties and I have founded these locations so far, if they’re not to your liking, just tell me, okay? Your mother will make sure to make your dream wedding happen!” her mother beamed beside her as she splayed out the pictures of potential beach locations on the coffee table in front of them.

Never did Lumine thought there will come a time when her mother and herself will bond like this. Upon confirming their engagement, her mother had been ecstatic; messaging Lumine all potential wedding ideas she can, even creating a board on Pinterest.

While it may be annoying to Lumine, she can’t deny that she’s excited herself. She gently shrugged her mother off at first, claiming that she’s busy with work, but one boring evening when Ajax was busy fixing something at work in his home office, the blonde woman opened the app to see what her mother is up to. She looked through the grand ideas her mother had pinned, they were mostly wedding dresses and accessories. The more Lumine browses, the more her mind starts imagining a wedding scenario, and the next thing she knows, she’s saving beach wedding-related pins and a phone call from her mother popped out of her screen.

Ajax joined mid-conversation and was surprised, and secretly elated that his bride also shares the same excitement of them officially tying the knot.

Never did Ajax thought he would be so invested in wedding planning, he’s more invested in the honeymoon part, but after listening to his fiancée and soon to be mother-in-law for a while, he can’t help but fall in love with the beach wedding idea and started looking at ideas on his own phone, which granted him a collaboration in the Pinterest board they’re working on.

After a promise of her mother looking for venues, the two-hour conversation ended with an excited soon to be wed couple.

A few days after that night, Lumine can’t help but think of her grand day every time she has the chance to. She had been bright during work, always humming softly as she works. Her glow had affected everyone in the bakery, even Xiao who smiled softly and even suggested something for the wedding cake, which Aether will be in charge of.

It surprised the twins, making them stare at Xiao long enough for the said man to be embarrassed and murmured something to forget about it until Lumine expressed her delight at the idea.

The original idea was a beach-themed cake, with the usual sand-like crumbs and seashells. Xiao instead suggested a baby blue coloured cake with frosting smudged on the cake to look like waves.

The day then ended with Xiao and Aether presenting a drawing of their combined ideas, Aether adding some white roses to complete the look.

(AN: Source: https://emmalovesweddings.com/summer-beach-wedding-cakes/summer-beach-wedding-cake-ideas/)

Lumine is in love with it.

“Have you two decided on the wedding date yet by the way?” her mother pulled her out of her thoughts.

“Well, we’re thinking a sunny Summer wedding will be nice? It fits the whole beach wedding theme, and coincidentally, that’s the time Ajax and I will don’t have to worry much about work.” Lumine answered, “It’s also going to be Qiqi’s first Summer at the beach.” she smiled at the scene last night, Qiqi’s eyes wide and curious as Ajax talks about the beach.

Qiqi had never been a huge fan of being under the sun, always preferring to stay under the shade, but from the looks of last night, her daughter seemed to be willing to give it a try, the seashell hunting and castle building especially.

Her mother took note of it on her phone, “Got it, now go ahead and look at these locations, I’ll contact them as soon as we get home.” she smiled.

Lumine hummed as she looked at the potential venues, they look great to Lumine so far, she appreciates the notes her mother stick with the pictures showcasing what each location is known and loved for.

She’s really invested in it, and Lumine wonders where all this energy is when it was her and Zhongli-

Before she could dwell on the thought, she shook her head, gaining a curious look from her mother.

“Sorry, something caught in my eye.” she shrugged it off while pretending to rub her eyes.

She went over the venues again, she managed to pick her top 3 favourites before calling for her groom to be, “Ajax, can you help me choose between these?”

The scene before her paused with Qiqi laughing as she pretends to fly as Ajax holds her up while her grandfather pretends to catch her.

“Sure, wanna help Mama and Papa choose the wedding venues, Qiqi?” Ajax cooed before sitting next to Lumine, putting Qiqi on his lap.

“Yes, Qiqi wants lots of seashells.” the little girl replied as she looked at the pictures.

“I’m sure all of them have lots of seashells, dear.” her grandmother chuckled.

Her mother is right, so it doesn’t really narrow down Lumine’s options, “How about you?” she asked Ajax, intertwining her fingers with his.

Ajax hummed, giving Lumine’s hand a kiss as he looked at the options, Qiqi giggled and offered her own hand, to which Ajax chuckled and give it a light kiss as well before ruffling her hair.

“They’re all good to me.” he shrugged.

“Ah, as helpful as your father was when we were planning our wedding.” her mother joked.

“Hey, I just trust your taste more than mine.” her father defended as he sat next to his wife.

Ajax was about to use the same excuse, but Lumine glared at him, “Don’t you dare.”

He raised his hands in defence, “Alright how about this, we close our eyes and let fate pick?”

Lumine raised an eyebrow.

“What? They’re your top 3 favourites, right? And we can’t choose, so why not give it a try?” Ajax shrugged.

Lumine sighed but agree, “Well, why not?”

With their hands together, they closed their eyes.

Their parents can’t help but laugh, Qiqi giggling in anticipation as she waits for the answer.

Their fingers grabbed a picture.

They opened their eyes,

‘Cool Isle’, it read.

~~~

“Qiqi wants beach wedding too,” Qiqi says, effectively freezing Ajax from cooking.

Lumine snickered from the table, watching and waiting for the man’s reaction. It was almost dinner time when her parents left, so they decided to hang out in the kitchen while Ajax prepares their meal, Qiqi’s colouring on her notebook while Lumine decided to just randomly film themselves. It’s a thing that she loves to do, documenting some of their lives to look back to in the future, and now looks like an interesting memory to laugh at someday.

Ajax turned to them with a tight smile, “No.”

Qiqi pouted, “Why not?”

“Because you’re my baby Qiqi and you’ll be forever, therefore, you’re not allowed to get married,” Ajax explained, pouting when he saw Lumine snickering with no intention of stopping their daughter from her terrifying plan.

“But why?”

“You’ll get three storytimes later if you promise not to get married.”

“Four!”

“Deal. You got that on camera right, love?” Ajax turned to Lumine.

“Oh my god.” Lumine laughed but nodded, “Yeah, I did.”

“You heard that yourself future Qiqi,” Ajax said at the camera.

“Four stories, yay!” the little girl hummed, bouncing lightly as she coloured.

The rest of the evening went quietly, they do their routines, Qiqi falling asleep midway through her first story, and now Ajax and Lumine are cuddling on their bed, the blonde having her back against her lover’s chest while his hands trace random shapes on her hip.

“What are you thinking about?” Lumine asked as she turned to face Ajax.

“Just you walking down the aisle dressed like the goddess you are.” he grinned.

“Really now?” Lumine raised an eyebrow, but Ajax can still see the smile she’s hiding.

“Well, trying to imagine what’s underneath the dress but it doesn’t sound as romantic now, does it?” Ajax teased, earning a playful smack from Lumine.

“It sounds more honest at least,” she retorted back with a playful smile.

“Now I can’t stop thinking of it…”

Lumine can feel something poking her leg, “Stop, it’s a surprise!” she huffed.

“That doesn’t help, love, now I’m more curious.” he groaned as he buried his face against her neck.

“There’s a reason why it’s called a surprise, you know.” Lumine rolled her eyes but still tilted her head to give him space.

“A small preview would be nice though…” he said suggestively before giving her neck a soft nibble.

“Hm, I guess a small sneak peek is fi-”

Lumine didn’t get the chance to finish her sentence for her fiancé just dived in for his meal.

~~~

“Rain, rain, go away. Come again another day, little Qiqi wants to play…” Qiqi sang softly as she traces the raindrops on the car window.

“It looks like it’ll be raining for the whole day.” Lumine observed the sky, “Qiqi, if it’s still raining when school’s done, just stay over Granny Shan’s toy store and I’ll pick you up, okay?”

“Can Qiqi have a new toy?” Qiqi gasped in excitement.

“If you’re a good girl for Granny Shan, then Papa will buy you one.” Ajax chuckled at the sparkle in Qiqi’s eyes.

Qiqi nodded before humming again, this time, livelier as she starts to think of what toy she would want.

“It’s nice we have someone to watch over Qiqi, we might be a little busy today since we’re in charge of the sweets for an event. I’ll make sure to bring Granny Shan something when I pick Qiqi up.” Lumine says as she looked at the notes on her phone to prepare for today.

“I’m sure she’ll appreciate that, babe.” Ajax hummed as he slowed the car in front of Qiqi’s school rather than the bakery, “Fix your raincoat, sweetie, Papa will walk you to school.” he said then waited for the little girl to follow his order.

“Give Mama a kiss and have fun at school, okay?” Lumine smiled.

“Okay! Qiqi’s gonna do her bestest!” the little girl responded before giving Lumine a kiss.

Ajax prepared the umbrella before stepping out of the car to get his daughter.

Lumine hummed and waited in the car. She looked at the toy store across the street, “It looks like they’re opening.” she said as she watches someone in a raincoat and an umbrella try to push up the display barrier to reveal the contents of the shop.

Granny Shan did say someone was helping her run the shop, “Someone looking for his family, huh.” she remembered the old woman saying, though she didn’t get any more information than that, though she did remember the man being nice to Qiqi and buying her a present.

Lumine should also bring him something as a thank you later.

The car door opening pulled Lumine’s attention from the employee.

“Qiqi has her umbrella, right?” Lumine asked.

“Yup, I made sure she didn’t forget it this time,” Ajax answered as he settled inside the car, “Alright, let’s go,” he said as he drove off.

~~~

Zhongli sighed as he shrugs his raincoat off and placing it on the coat rack together with the umbrella. He’s glad he stopped Granny Shan from going outside to open the shop herself. It was a bit tough even for him to push the barriers up with the wind trying to blow his umbrella away, he doesn’t want to imagine how dangerous it would’ve been for her.

“I hope it won’t be raining as much later.” the old woman hummed as she observed the weather.

“The weather news said it’ll be raining but it would be lighter than this,” Zhongli said as he went on about his duties.

“Well, either way, Qiqi would be waiting here, her mother will pick her up later.” Granny Shan said, “Which is nice cause I would love to give her something for their wedding.”

“Wedding?” Zhongli raised his eyebrow.

“Ah yes, turns out the couple isn’t married yet. Qiqi isn’t biologically the groom’s but she was raised by him when her father died from an accident.” the woman explained.

“That’s an unfortunate accident.” Zhongli frowned.

“Ah it was, but her groom is a great man, he said her deceased husband was his best friend, while it may sound controversial, I think it’s great that he takes good care of them, you can see how dedicated and loving he is when it comes to his family.” Granny Shan chuckled, “Maybe you should visit the bakery sometimes, it would be more fun to socialise with people your age than just an old lady like me.” she teased.

“Don’t be like that, I quite enjoy our conversation.” the brunette replied, “But I think it would be nice to meet them, maybe they can help me in searching for my own family.”

“Ah, that would be great as well.” Granny Shan replied, “Well, I’ll go ahead and make us some tea to warm us up.” she said before leaving to the kitchen.

Zhongli hum before continuing his tasks.

~~~

It was five hours after Qiqi’s done with school.

Five hours of Qiqi waiting for her Mama.

And Qiqi is starting to get a little fussy.

By this time, Qiqi would have taken a nap in the private room of the bakery, she would’ve woken up refreshed and would be playing with her Uncles now.

She doesn’t even remember the promise of a new toy, she just wants to go home and sleep.

Granny Shan had offered the sofa in their living room, but Qiqi isn’t comfortable with napping somewhere else than the comfort of familiarity their bakery gives. Even if she knows Granny Shan and Mr Zhongli are good people, she just wants her Mama and Uncles nearby.

Zhongli frowns as Qiqi rejects another snack from him, while Qiqi did have a packed lunch with her, he thought that some sweets will brighten her mood, but all he was getting was a no and a frustrated tired face from the girl.

“Hm, it’s barely raining outside now, why don’t you just walk Qiqi there?” Granny Shan said.

Qiqi perked up at the suggestion, looking at Zhongli with tired and pleading eyes.

“Yeah, I think it would be a great idea, the little one is tired and I think she’d be more comfortable resting with her family.” Zhongli nodded.

Qiqi’s eye lightened, she nodded in agreement before standing up to follow Zhongli.

“Alright, be careful, bye Qiqi.” Granny Shan waved.

Having been in a good mood again, Qiqi smiled and waved, “Bye-bye, GrannyShan!” before grabbing Zhongli’s hand.

It took Zhongli by surprise, he wasn’t offering his hand but it seemed to be a habit of the little girl, which isn’t that bad, it’s safer that way and he’s glad her parents thought her that.

Also for some reason, it gives him a huge sense of comfort.

Gently grabbing Qiqi’s hand and an umbrella, they made their way.

~~~

“Oh my god, I hope Qiqi is fine.” Lumine said as she frantically shoved her things in her purse, “We were so busy no one can come to get her, I couldn’t even prepare something for Granny Shan.”

“Baby, calm down.” Ajax sighed as he wrapped his arms around his stressed lover, hugging her from the back “Qiqi’s in good hands and you guys did amazing for the event, you should rest for a bit,” he said softly before kissing the side of her head.

While Lumine is shy with public display of affection, there is no customer to tend since the bakery was closed early, most of the employees left, Xiao was at the kitchen making sure to clean the last bit before locking up the back then heading home, and Aether had left to pick Keqing up from work. It’s just the two of them in front of the shop, Lumine having cleaned up the counter and tables when Ajax arrived.

“You know how Qiqi is when she doesn’t get her nap, she’s going to be a nightmare to take care of later.” the blonde dreaded.

Ajax chuckled, turned her around and lifted her up to sit her on the table, “I’ll be with you, don’t worry, we’ll handle our little tantrum monster, okay?” he smiled with an Eskimo kiss.

The exact thing Lumine needs to calm down, she smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, “How are you always so bright even after work.” she pouted at him.

“Let’s say messing with a certain midget is a great stress reliever.” Ajax grinned mischievously.

“You know one day, you’re gonna get in trouble for pissing him so much at work.” Lumine deadpanned.

“Eh, I only mess with him when it’s a slow day so I’m not disrupting anything at work. Though it had become a game for everyone to bet on who’s gonna fall for whose prank, I have a winning streak of 4 if you’re curious.”

“If our kids become little shits, you’re sleeping on the fucking sofa.” Lumine threatened, though there’s a playful hint in her eyes.

“Such a harsh punishment, love, how will I pass on my legacy?” Ajax faked frowned.

“What legacy? Being a little shit to Scaramouche?” Lumine teased as she poked his cheeks.

“Well, I was thinking our kids vs his, you know? A worthy opponent, their battle will be legendary!”

Lumine laughed, “Ajax, no!”

Ajax grinned, glad that his lover is in a much brighter mood. The talk about their future kids had also brightened him up with excitement, he can imagine Qiqi being the best big sister she can be with the future little ones that’ll be running around their house.

Speaking of which, he should start looking for some renovation plans to handle a bigger family in their home.

A text notified Lumine. She checked her phone and sighed in relief, “Well, looks like Granny Shan sent her employee to walk Qiqi here.”

Ajax hummed before burying his face against her neck, “That’s great, ‘cause I’m feeling comfortable like this.”

“You’re gonna make the man uncomfortable, Ajax.” Lumine pointed out how intimate they look but nonetheless brushed her fingers through his hair.

“Eh, should be expected with a soon to be wed couple.” Ajax shrugged not moving except lifting his face to rest his forehead against hers.

Lumine just chuckled and welcomed the comfort.

“Mama, Papa, Qiqi’s here! Look, Mister, that’s Qiqi’s Mama and Papa!”

#chilumi #zhonglumi #chilumi/zhonglumi #genshin impact

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nellie-elizabeth · 3 years

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Grey's Anatomy: Tradition (17x15)

Sometimes Grey's Anatomy has something really true and good to say, but they say it in a hokey sort of way. This episode had a lot going on that kinda... jumped the shark in terms of the cheese factor for me. Let's dive in.

Cons:

First of all, Jackson's last episode was kind of a letdown. It was only in seeing it that I realized how disconnected he felt from most of the remaining leads on the show. He had a personal goodbye with Jo, which I liked, and was probably the moment I felt the most connected to Jackson leaving. But when he was talking to Meredith, it occurred to me that these two haven't had any intersecting story-lines that really mattered in years. They kept showing flashbacks to Jackson in his earlier days on the show, surrounded by people who are all no longer there. He doesn't feel woven in with any of the core cast. Then, he drives away at the end, his last conversation as a regular cast member happening with Koracick of all people? I don't know. It just felt like an anticlimax to me.

And speaking of Koracick, was this his exit from the show as well? He's moving to Boston? What a bummer. I've genuinely enjoyed his character so much, and I feel like there was so much left to explore with him. Putting him in a room with any other character really enlivened a conversation. He brought such different energy from any of the other characters. What an unceremonious end, if so. If not, I hope he's a character that pops back in here and there, maybe updates us on Jackson, April, and Harriet. That could be a nice compromise.

Say it with me: I don't like Owen and Teddy. Jesus, I just do not care. When I saw them kissing I literally said "noooo" out loud, and it's not because I feel anything about them as a couple and I'm "against" it or anything, it's more just the "noooo" of realization, that we're going to have to spend time with these characters again, and all the shittiness that they bring out in one another.

That feeds into a smaller complaint, which was that I found it very odd that Owen was telling Link that he's going to be trapped at Meredith's house, even now with Meredith going home. It was like... weird guy banter, and Winston was there too, and it was like all the men having a laugh at Link's expense... I just found it really uncomfortable that Owen was the one doing this, when Owen and Amelia have such a fraught (and annoying) history. I don't know. Maybe that's a nitpick.

So now we go to Grey's Anatomy having something good and true to say, but pouring on the cheese just a bit too much. The story about respecting native traditions and how often they have bad experiences in big hospitals was a perfectly adequate one, but it was told in a paint-by-numbers fashion. I almost wanted something a bit more nuanced, like maybe some genuine distrust from the patients instead of everyone being 100% nice and pleasant and nothing going wrong. A happy ending for this story was much appreciated, but it felt like a rote way of telling a story and exploring a theme. Still, it's good that they bring attention to issues that a lot of people (read: white people) want to ignore.

Pros:

There were lots of things I enjoyed seeing in this episode, even if the whole thing didn't come together for me.

Like, for example, Koracick's speech about being privileged and wanting to be an ally. Like, really step up and really help out. This was another moment of potentially hokey writing, but the performance sold it, and I liked that Jackson accepted it for the genuine offer that it was.

I also like seeing Jo thriving in her new specialty, with Carina as a potential mentor, although she might be leaving the show? Or at least not around as much anymore. Over on Station 19, evidently she's gotten engaged, so... good for her! And Jo talking to the baby in the NICU, the one she's totally going to adopt, made me really emotional. I want only good things for Jo!

Nico was nowhere to be seen this week, after Levi left him in the lurch after his "I love you" a few weeks back... but we do see that Helm is really struggling, and Schmitt wants to help her out. This was a small little thread, but I do like the idea of Schmitt and Helm living together. It continues on my thread of what I sort of wanted for Levi, where if they're doing a romance with Nico, Nico needs to sweat about it for a bit first.

Meredith is back! She spends the episode with people coddling her, nervous to tell her about Andrew's death, saying goodbye to Jackson, and getting to go home and reunite with her kids. All of it was perfect and wonderful. The moment when Bailey and Richard come to tell her about Andrew, Meredith seems to suddenly know, and we hear the sound of crashing waves in the background. That was just lovely. And she and Jackson's conversation was great too, although I stand by what I said about Jackson's final moments on the show not quite working for me. But it was fun, a Grey and an Avery, these two important legacy families, talking about what they learned from each other, and what they taught one another.

And then of course Meredith is home, Amelia is freaking out because the house is a mess, and Meredith says it's perfect, just the way she wants it. She eats donuts and her kids tell her everything she's missed while she was away. I'm really impressed with the way the kids have felt like more of a presence in the past season or so, and I hope that continues to be the case.

Richard is going to officiate Maggie and Winston's wedding! I felt so many warm fuzzies in my heart over that little moment. Richard worrying that he'd overstepped, and acknowledging that the relationship boundaries between himself and Maggie had always been a little uncertain. And then Maggie and Winston asking him to be the one to marry them to one another... oh gosh. This show can still really get to me sometimes. That made me happy.

I think if I had to say my overall thoughts on this episode, I'd say a lot of the things that happen have implications that I don't enjoy. But then watching some of it play out, I did like it. So the way Meredith reacted to the news of Andrew's death was really touching, but I'm still pissed that Andrew died. Jackson had a couple of solid moments, but overall his swan song didn't hit the mark. Koracick's speech was decent, but the fact that he's apparently leaving is annoying.

So yeah. Grey's still has plenty to keep my attention, but this episode wasn't one of the greats!

7/10

#review #grey's anatomy #grey's anatomy review #greys anatomy #greys anatomy review #grey's abc #greys abc

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the-starsabove-you · 4 years

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The Spotlight

Chapter 29 - Family Ties A/N: Sorry for the long update! I have a special announcement soon! Hope I can share it in the following week. But reviews are welcomed! And thank you again for reading

Michelle let out a deep breath as the plane touched down in Winnipeg. Michelle took a different plane than Mat and the Team. She just needed time to process that she was coming home to Winnipeg for the first time since her career took off. In all honesty, she wasn’t expecting to come back home unless it was for a funeral or a wedding. She wasn’t ready for her family to meet Mat, but she had to be. She made her way to the entrance and she saw her family there. Her mother was waving and her father was standing there and her brother Ty was running to her. Her mother was beautiful, light brown hair and green eyes with a soft smile. She worked as a detective since Michelle and Ty were so small. The job took a toll, her mother often missing a lot of important things in her children’s lives, but her children knew it was because their mother was out there solving crimes and saving lives. Her father had the same dark brown hair as Michelle. Instead of Michelle’s warm blue eyes, her father’s were cold. Some would compare Michelle and her father with looks but Michelle would brush it off, claiming she looked more like her mother. Her father was a lawyer. He was more home with his children, had his own office in the house and would work there while his children would be doing something else. It was basically Michelle and Ty’s childhood, sometimes their father would bring them to his office in a huge building near their house. Michelle’s father was cold, he had high expectations for his children, he wanted his family to be the perfect family with the white fence and everything. Although he was the one mostly present in the children’s lives, they inherited their kind hearts and empathy from their mother. It broke her father’s heart, along with him having bitter feelings towards her when she decided to leave Winnipeg and start a life that was the opposite of what he wanted. Ty, whose real name was Tyson, was graduating high school and going to college. Due to their mother being absent and their father working at home, it was Michelle who raised and looked out for Ty. She loved her brother and wanted to protect him from any bad thing in life. Ty was being forced to go to Law school by their father, Ty didn’t want to go to law school. He always dreamed about being a writer, writing stories and being a journalist. He wanted to make a difference with his writing, not do Law.. Ty ran and nearly crushed his sister as he brought her into a tight hug. Michelle laughed when her little brother picked her up and swung her around “Ty! You’re gonna drop me!” She said and Ty smiled and put her down “I haven’t seen my sister in forever! You can’t blame a little brother for missing his big sister” He said and Michelle grabbed his hand “I know.. I’m sorry, has everything been okay?” She whispered and Ty knew what she meant and he nodded “All is calm within the house.. But I know it will change with our father” Ty muttered and Michelle sighed. Michelle’s father, Thomas went towards his daughter and stopped in front of her. He nodded “Michelle, it’s been a while” He muttered. Michelle never expected hugs from her father, it was always rare to get a hug from him. Michelle nodded “Dad, it’s nice to see you” She said, she knew that her leaving to start a new life was still a sore topic for him, she rather not bring up his career in front of him. Michelle’s mother, Mary, went towards her daughter and brought her into a tight hug “Oh Sweetie, I’ve missed you” She whispered softly and Michelle kissed her mother’s cheek “I’ve missed you too mom, how’s work been?” “It’s been good, you know.. Your mom always brings the bad guys into jail and face justice” Mary smiled softly and Michelle grinned “That’s my mom! Kicking ass and taking names” She said. Thomas looked around, “Your suitcases come out yet?” He asked and Michelle shook her head “Mat took mine with him in the team plane since he’s getting to the hotel first” She said and Thomas nodded “Ok.” He muttered, Ty looking at his sister “You’re hungry?” “Nah, I would love to see what changed in the neighborhood, how’s Mrs Jones doing?” She asked and her father narrowed his eyes “Your mother made lunch at home and you’re not hungry?” He said dryly and Michelle was about to say something until her mother spoke “It’s fine Tom, I didn’t tell her I was cooking.” She said and her father glared at his wife and nodded “Well, let’s go look around.” He muttered and jammed his hands into his pocket and walked towards the car. Michelle and Ty were walking behind their parents and Michelle nudged her brother gently with her arm “You got into NYU?” She whispered and Ty nodded “I did, but also got accepted into Harvard. You can guess what dad wanted me to attend” Ty said and Michelle narrowed her eyes “Ty, you’re like the smartest kid I’ve known.. You’re smarter than me. I dropped out of college to become a model. Whatever makes you happy, you should do it” She said softly and Ty smiled but their father ruined the moment “Well Ty is attending Harvard. So drop the NYU act. You’re right about something, he’s smarter than you. If you didn’t drop out of college, you would have been closer to being a doctor now. But hey, we can’t have everything in life” Thomas muttered the last part and Michelle remained quiet, she was getting more annoyed by the second. But she knew that it was only going to get worse when Mat meets her family.

The family got into the car and Mary looked back at her children as she was sitting at the passengers’ seat “Wanna stop by the house and get anything?” She asked and Michelle shook her head “It’s okay.. I’m fine, I have everything right now. I’ve been cleaning out things too since Emily stays at my house a lot” She said lying about the fact that it was Mat staying with her, she didn’t want her father to flip. Ty however, knew about her sister’s love life as he paid attention to his sister on social media. Michelle had told him about Mat living in her apartment and vice versa. Ty was really the only family member that she trusted to tell

“Wanna stop by the old park that your father took you guys when you were children?” She asked and Michelle smiled softly “I would love to” Thomas drove the family to the park, Michelle and Ty got out of the car. Michelle looked back and saw her parents were having an intense talk in the car before her father looked frustrated before getting out the car with his mother. Michelle and Ty walked ahead as they walked along the path. They were both nudging each other before Ty smiled “How are you and your boyfriend doing?” Ty asked and Michelle grinned “We’re doing great! We’re going house hunting soon, He wants to move to Long Island but I wanna find a house in Upstate New York. So that’s what we’re bickering about right now” She chuckled and Ty nodded “It’s reasonable for Long Island because of the arena being in Long Island and then you got the Brooklyn one too. Why do you wanna live Upstate?” “I love the nature scenery.. Plus I feel like it’s the most unexpected place.. Paps wouldn’t really know right away” She muttered and she sighed “But I know he would be happier if we moved to Long Island.. So” She chuckled and Ty grinned “Make sure to invite me to the housewarming party” “What are you two talking about?” Their mother called and Ty looked back “I’m just telling Mich my failed relationship..” He said and Mary shook her head “That girl was a fool for giving you up” Thomas called “You heard Alice got married right? The girl that grew up with you.. Expecting a kid” “Dorian is also engaged too, He sent an invite for the wedding too” Mary said and Thomas nodded “James is moving to Europe too with his girlfriend and their newborn son” Michelle in a way felt her heart sink at the feeling that people her age were already getting married and some having kids. Michelle knew that marriage and kids were off the tables right now, they were both too young and both were starting their careers. The family made their way to the Bell MTS Place. Mat managed to get seats near her family for Michelle. Michelle felt sick thinking about when her family finally met Mat. She hoped that her family approved of Mat, even if her father didn’t approve.. It meant the world if her brother and mother liked him. Michelle sat next to her brother and she was watching fans, both Islanders and Jets fans were walking around and interacting. Michelle was trying to keep a low profile with an Islanders sweater and one of Mat’s hats over her head. “This is so exciting!” Mary said as she was eating a hotdog. Her father grunted as he was drinking water. Ty was looking at the ice “This is so cool! You gotta tell me what’s happening in this game. I have no idea about hockey” “This was me when I first went to one of Mat’s game, I was lost too but it’s easy to catch up on” She said and Ty nodded. Soon the buzzer was heard around the arena and players from both teams were coming out. Michelle’s heart raced when she saw Mat coming out and he was skating alongside Tito. The Islanders were warming up and Matt Martin looked over at her and grinned, waving at her. Anders Lee shot her a wink while Josh Bailey grinned at her

Mat soon spotted Michelle and waved her over and she got up and went towards the glass and Mat with his stick tossed a puck over and he pointed at Michelle’s brother. Michelle smiled softly and mouthed a ‘Thank you’ before he winked at her and skated away. Michelle returned to her seat and handed the puck to Ty who was smiling “This is amazing!” He cheered. Michelle looked over and saw Mat was looking at her with a smile but he looked over at Michelle’s father who looked very unimpressed and Mat’s smile fell and he sighed before skating off Thomas huffed and shook his head “I hate show-offs” He grumbled and Mary nudged him and gave him a look before he sighed and went back to texting on his phone. Michelle bit back a response and went back to focusing on Mat. The game had started and it was a rough one, The Jets were leading and Mat and the boys did try to bounce back but it wasn’t enough as Jets took the game with a 5-4 lead. Ty was watching carefully, asking his sister questions and shouting when one of the Jets did something that would be a penalty. Michelle looked at her brother in amusement as she was also getting nervous, she didn’t want Mat to be in a foul mood if the Islanders lost because her family and him were going to have dinner after the game before Michelle leaves for New York in the morning and Mat goes to Toronto. Michelle let out a deep breath when she saw the final score was 6-4 and the Islanders skated back to the locker room. She took out her phone to text Mat that she would be waiting in the parking lot. Michelle’s mother got up and she smiled and looked at her daughter “I thought the game was fun, it kept me on my feet for sure” She said and Ty nodded “I thought it was cool! I need to go to an Islanders game more” Thomas just shrugged and he looked over at his family “Let’s go to the parking lot, Michelle I’m assuming you’re riding with your boyfriend?” He asked and she nodded and he narrowed his eyes “He better not be in a mood just because he lost” He mumbled before walking and Michelle narrowed her eyes “Mat can control his emotions, unlike other people” She mumbled the last part and Ty went to his sister “Mich..” Their father ignored her and everyone went to the parking lot. Thomas was leaning on his car while Mary was speaking to her kids about one of her latest cases and at the corner of her eye, Michelle spotted Mat coming towards him with his game-day suit. She broke out into a jog and ran towards him and he opened his arms and she crushed him into a hug “Hey…” He whispered and she looked up at him “You’re doing okay?” She asked and he nodded “Just a rough loss but I’ll get over it.. Excited I can eat finally” He said softly and she grinned and kissed him on the cheek before grabbing his hand and they stopped in front of her family “Mom, Dad, Ty.. This is Mat, my boyfriend” She said with a smile. Ty went over to Mat and they shook hands. Mary coming towards him and bringing him into a hug “I”ve heard so much about you, it’s nice to finally meet you” “I’ve heard a lot of you too.. Always love with Mich tells me about your stories in the field” Mat said warmly and Mary smiled at that. Thomas watched Mat carefully before making his way to Mat and stuck out his hand and Mat took it, but Thomas squeezed his hand as he shook it “Nice to meet you” Michelle watched as Mat wasn’t very impressed with her father trying to be tough as Mat watched with intense eyes and she sighed quietly. This was going to be a long night.

#mathew barzal #mat barzal #mathew barzal imagine #mat barzal imagine #New York Islanders #nhl #nhl fanfiction #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #hockey #hockey imagines #hockey imagine

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cyanogastra · 4 years

Text

drowning in the depths of you (don’t save me)

[mafia + modern fantasy + mermaid guan shan AU]

Chapter 5: An Unexpected Visitor

Unexpected visits in unexpected circumstances. Guan Shan just keeps getting more confused.

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Read on AO3

AN:

We love a fast-paced story. But we hate a slow-ass author.

I'm really sorry guys. I fell into a slump midway into last year's semester and had a major burnout. But surprise, I'm back kinda lol.

Yes, I'm updating this fic in 2020 quarantine arc. No I'm not dropping this, I have this baby planned out all the way to Chapter 11. Also, I made some slight revisions in the previous chapters, but they're not so significant that they changed the plot.

It might take me until 2021 to finish this. *shrug* But what did Confucius say? It doesn't matter how slow you go as long as you don't stop?

---

That night, after He Tian left to head home, Guan Shan dreamed about the ocean.

He woke up with the feeling of rushing water fresh on his sealed gills, as if he had just taken a dip. Already does he no longer remember the exact details of his dream, only that he knows vaguely that he felt the ocean calling to his heart. He rubs his eyes blearily, feeling comforted even though the experience hadn't been real. With a final yawn, he decides to return to work and went about his morning routine.

He felt incredibly apprehensive making his way to the restaurant, given that the incident from the other night was still fresh from his mind. He was restless as he travelled, feeling antsy at every cursory glance towards his person. He'd even bothered to wear a cap and pair of aviators, feeling extra paranoid about his appearance. He also made sure to avoid the alley where the incident took place. ‘The fuck I’m ever going to walk through that. Or through any alley ever.’

He arrives as the restaurant without a hitch. The day proceeds normally, with Xui Hong checking up on him in the morning. He waved his concerns off with a monotonous ‘I’m fine’ and blaming the flu.

The first few hours of the day ticked by quickly, with seemingly nothing out of place.

Too normal. I feel too normal. A whole day has almost passed and Guan Shan still feels jittery with nerves, stomach tight in anticipation as if something unknown was to strike at him. His paranoia spikes up when he remembers that someone might be watching him in that very moment.

The chime rings as he cleans a table. He turns to greet the new comers and almost drops the rag in his hands.

“Welco…”

‘What the fuck?’

The words die at his throat the moment his eyes land on the newcomers. There, at the entrance were two striking individuals. One of them was a stoic-faced man with unruly brown hair, but Guan Shan was more concerned with the other man. White hair and white eyes, sharp nose and a dainty, small face, almost an otherworldly beauty.

That said man was unmistakably Jian Yi, the man pictured with He Tian in the magazine.

He Tian's supposed fiancé.

“Table for two please!” Jian Yi chirps with a wide smile. Guan Shan nods at him dumbly.

His day just took a turn towards the abnormal.

---

The day is not normal for He Tian.

He’s woken by the incessant ringing of his doorbell. He wonders just exactly who has the audacity to be ringing him at a time like this as he walks barefooted on the marble tiles of his penthouse. He doesn't even bother to think about his current state of half-nakedness, having been rudely awakened from his precious sleep.

He opens the door to reveal broad-shouldered white-haired man. He Tian almost rolls his eyes.

“Qiu-ge. What a surprise.” He Tian says monotonously, leaning his back against the wall. The other man gives him a glare before inviting himself in, heavy combat boots clacking loudly throughout the apartment.

He Tian realizes inwardly that he already expected this happening, though not so soon. Qiu was the person closest to his brother, and for him to suddenly appear in Hong Kong only means one thing.

“Your brother is pissed.” The other man says unceremoniously, burly arms crossing in front of his chest as he leaned on the back of his couch. He Tian doesn't look at him and walks languidly towards the bar adjacent to his living room and pours himself a glass of water.

“Hm. Is he now?” He Tian replies, his annoyance at the situation starting to grow. “If this is so serious that he had to send you, why couldn’t he be here instead?” He continues icily, crossing towards the large floor-to-ceiling windows to peer at the city below him.

“Be serious for once, He Tian.” Qiu bites back. He Tian half-turns to look at him disinterestedly.

"So? What did he want you to tell me?"

Qiu breaths a sigh and rests his hands on the couch. 'Annoying brat...'

“The Hong Kong triads are starting to know of your father’s condition." He says, noting the lack of reaction from He Tian. "They will see this as a weakness, then they’ll start coming for you.”

I know that already. He Tian inwardly sighs and doesn’t reply for a few moments. The triads sure move fast, him having already received messages of faux sympathy and support, followed by thinly-veiled questions of what He Tian is set to do, “I wish your family are doing well, and rest assured we shall remain close by shall you need our assistance in the near future.”

Or in other words, “We’re watching your every move.”

“Why should I leave?” He Tian replies, sounding far too nonchalant for someone who has a hundred targets on his back. “I’ll let them come to me, show them that we are not so weak even with that bastard being good as dead.”

Qiu fixes him a disapproving glare. He Tian thinks he’s about to admonish him about talking that way about his father. He silently dares the other to prove him wrong.

The other man doesn't, however. Qiu scratches irritatedly at his buzzut blonde head before replying. "I don't know what you're planning, but I hope you realize you're pretty much screwed here."

He Tian chuckles mirthlessly and shrugs at him. "Why, are you worried about me?"

Qiu rubs his temples before sighing exasperatedly. “Just go home." He Tian turns away from him in reply, going back to drinking his water as he gazed at the Hong Kong cityline. “Your brother is becoming impatient. Leave before things turn complicated.” He says with one last pointed glance at He Tian, starting to walk away, his heavy footsteps reverberating throughout the penthouse

"Hm. How about you go home instead. The full moon's right around the corner isn't it?" He Tian replies, still with his back turned. Qiu looks behind him with a glare. He can't see his face, but he's absolutely sure the younger man is smirking from behind the glass. You think that's funny don't you...

He doesn't say anything in reply and instead opens the heavy door of He Tian's apartment.

“Troublesome siblings.” Qiu mutters under his breath, letting the door slam behind his back. He curses both brothers, the older for reducing him to a messenger boy for his little brother, and the latter for being eternally stubborn.

---

Guan Shan stares at the two people seated on the table.

What the hell is HE doing here?

The two men were currently reading through the menu. Jian Yi points at something on the menu and asks his companion, quite loudly, if they could order that. The other man just grunts a whatever in response, preoccupied with a game on his phone.

He looks at them more closely. The man with spiky brown hair sports a glinting silver chain necklace that contrasted nicely with his black turtleneck. And Jian Yi…well literally everything about him is flashy designer. Gloves, coat, shoes, and all. Although the all white get-up is a little too much even in Guan Shan's opinion.

He huffs, having fully expected them to be of He Tian’s ilk.

Tch. They’re perfect for each other. Snotty rich bastards. He grumbles to himself, resuming to wipe at the table in front of him.

Did He Tian really have to tell his fiance where he works so he could show off? What am I even to him? Does Jian Yi know what's going on with He Tian and me that's why he's here? Why would He Tian want to go on a date with me if-

“Hey hey!” Jian Yi calls to him suddenly, waving his arm in midair. Guan Shan jolts upright, jaw tight as he forced the questions back down his throat. He turns around and walks towards their table stiffly.

“We'd like to get this Alaskan crab leg and this Aquitaine caviar. And egg rolls too!”

Guan Shan nods, writing down the order with the best straight face as he could (though it probably looks like a grimace, like always). He turns, almost robotically, to quickly head back to the kitchen.

“Oh and add black tea please!” Guan Shan acknowledges him with a curt nod, eyes on the notepad as he hurriedly wrote the order. He realizes he forgot to say the order back to them and appeared really rude, but he brushes it off with a 'whatever'.

This is so fucking weird. He thinks with spite as he stood at the kitchen doorway. He knows he's supposed to be at the station to answer customer requests, but given that the only customers around were the two oddballs he figured he'd be fine for now. Miraculously, no one enters the restaurant.

He looks at the two men at the corner of his eye. Or specifically, at Jian Yi. He feels many things for the man all at once, confusion because why would he be here in all places, disdain and annoyance for being present in close proximity, anger because he's supposed to be engaged to He Tian--

"Oh Xixi, tell me about it please!" Jian Yi pouts and pulls at the other man's sleeve. The other man merely rolls his eyes and tries to ignore him. "Pleeeaase, Xixi." Jian Yi tries again, now poking his cheek.

Okay...that's weirder. Guan Shan thinks to himself, finding the pale man's clinginess to the other man a little unusual. He looks like he's begging for the other man's attention. They must be really good friends? He wonders.

The food is completed within a matter of minutes. Guan Shan picks them up easily, carrying the plates over to their table. He wordlessly sets them down, trying very hard not to give either men a glare and trying to move as quickly as possible. He placed down the last of their order and was about to brusquely walk back to the station when yet another weird thing happens.

"Hey, sir waiter? You wanna sit down with us?" Jian Yi asks him with a smile. Guan Shan blinks, once, then twice, not really absorbing what the other man said.

"I..." He starts, unsure of what to say. There's no one except them, so he couldn't use the "I have to serve customers" card. And he doesn't think there would be any customers soon, given that lunch has already passed and it's currently in the middle of the dead hours.

"Come on! We kinda ordered too much for two." Jian Yi says, chewing nimbly on his food. The other man named 'Xixi' only gives him a deadpan look.

Realizing that his day has already taken a turn towards the abnormal, he supposes another weird experience won't be too bad.

So he pulls a chair under the table and sits down, preparing himself for a confrontation.

---

Qiu drops the man on the floor, not giving him a second's glance as he splutters and grasps for his throat. He gestures his men to follow him as they exit the dingy bar, the patrons astonished at the situation that had just transpired.

His claws recede back into normal human nails as he walked, along with his fangs that have turned back to regular human canines.

So much for civil talking. He thinks to himself, frustrated in the inability of underlings to recognize when they stand a chance or not. He enters the car, a sleek black Maserati, and promptly presses the speed-dial. He waits one, then two rings before it's picked up.

"Five families are coalescing." He says into the phone without a greeting. "The She's, Wongs, Chans, Kwans, and the Huis. The She's at the lead, although we already expected that." He relays easily. There's a pause at the other end before he hears a reply.

"And Tian? What did he say?"

Of course. It's not like I just said almost all of Hong Kong's major triad families are aiming to kill us all. Qiu waits for a beat before replying, not without a tired sigh. "He doesn't want to."

He hears a sharp intake of breath. While to anyone else, He Cheng is the personification of ice, stone-cold eyes, words, and actions. But to Qiu, that one breath told him everything. He imagines what the other man's face must have looked like, probably the slightest twitch of a sharp jaw. Small things, but for Qiu who sees them clearly, they mean everything.

While He Cheng may be ice himself, Qiu knows deeply that if anything happened to his brother, surely he would crumble apart.

"Come back here for now. I'll pay him a visit some time." He Cheng replies smoothly, seemingly at ease. But Qiu is unconvinced. He doesn't reply for a moment, thinking carefully for his next words.

"You know...you're holding him back again. Just like you always do." He says because it's true. Not a single damn time you didn't try to hide him away, even from your own father...

"Because he doesn't understand." Comes the almost automatic reply, which was something Qiu already heard a few times before. "If you say so." He replies noncommittally and presses the end call. He then orders his men to make arrangements with the private plane as soon as possible.

---

Guan Shan chews at an egg-roll as he gives (or tries to give) discrete glances to the two men sitting in front of him. The man called 'Xixi' eats silently and only gives a dead-eyed look every once in a while. On the other hand, Jian Yi was openly staring at him with a sickeningly sweet smile in between bites of his food. Guan Shan resumes eating robotically for a few more minutes until he could no longer stand the silence.

He clears his throat and sits up straighter. "What is it?" He says, because it's the first set of words in his mind. 'Xixi' looks at him with a raised eyebrow while Jian Yi lets out an amused "Hmmmm?"

"Don't you have a problem with me?" Guan Shan tries again, his default glare now present on his face as he crossed his arms. If a confrontation was happening, he supposes it should happen right now. Jian Yi giggles at him.

"Oh no, we just wanted to meet you in advance." He replies, still with a sweet smile. He gives Guan Shan a wink as an additional effect. Guan Shan doesn't know what that means, so he just stares.

"I have to say, I didn't expect this." Jian Yi continues. "To think He Tian would be brought to his knees by a fiery one like you.”

The brown-haired man, 'Xixi', pauses eating and lets out a cough that sounded suspiciously like a chuckle. It takes Guan Shan a split second to react. His face heats up all the way to his ears.

"W-what? What the hell do you mean-"

“Ooooh I think I can see it! You’re so adorable and pretty!" Jian Yi explains suddenly, leaning in closer. Guan Shan sputters and tries to lean away, though the nearly transparent white eyes follow him.

"I can’t believe He Tian kept you a secret from me.” Jian Yi pouts placing his chin on his hand. Guan Shan couldn't think of a coherent reply with all that came out of the white-haired man's mouth. Brought to his knees? Pretty? A secret? He never knew he could ever feel confusedly embarrassed in his life.

"Maybe because he didn't want you snooping around his business." The other man quips, dabbing his mouth with a napkin and leaning back into his chair. Jian Yi gives him a playful smack and looks back at Guan Shan, his smile morphing into a more natural one rather than sickly sweet.

"Which reminds me, we haven't introduced ourselves! I'm Jian Yi by the way, although you might already know that. This grumpy guy is Zhan Zheng Xi. We're He Tian's friends." Jian Yi reaches out for a handshake, to which Guan Shan just stares at, still perplexed. The white-haired man pouts, unhappy that his gesture wasn't reciprocated.

"Guan Shaaan! You're so mean!" He humphs, like a kid throwing a tantrum. Zheng Xi nudges at him to quiet down.

If Guan Shan thought nothing could be more confusing than being invited by He Tian's fiance to lunch, he was just proven wrong.

"How do you know my name?" He asks with a glare, starting to feel the beginnings of distrust. Though it's not like he completely trusted the two right at the get-go.

Jian Yi only shrugs his shoulders. “Oh I just took a peek here and there. Nothing big.” He says as he flicks a lock of his hair.

Now that's an unsettling answer. Guan Shan thinks as they continue eating. He can't help but feel that something is just not quite right. That he's missing more than a few puzzle pieces. Two extremely high profile individuals show up in his low profile life, an unsettling man, and an attempted kidnapping. And the fact that Jian Yi doesn't seem to be bothered that his fiance is meeting someone behind his back.

Are all rich people like this? Is he that dense? Or is this his way of telling me to stay away from He Tian? Guan Shan purses his lips at that thought.

Well that’s just fucked up. He looks hard at Jian Yi's face trying to see if the man is mocking or trying to deceive him, but the said man was currently whining at his companion. Guan Shan absolutely doesn't know what to think anymore.

The two men finish their meal quickly. "Sorry Guan Shan, but Xixi was telling me a while ago that we have to leave now or we'll be late for the movie!" Jian Yi tells him as he and Zheng Xi stood up from their seats. Guan Shan nods and stands up as well, breaking himself out from his thoughts.

Before he could open his mouth, Jian Yi reaches over and grabs his hands. Guan Shan reels back in surprise, but soon finds himself transfixed in the other man's gaze. He's so stunned into silence that he almost doesn’t hear what the other man said.

"I hope to see you again. I'll make sure to tell He Tian what I think. For now, be careful, okay?" Jian Yi tells him, unblinking, looking angelic and unsettling at the same time with his gentle features and all-seeing eyes.

"O-okay." Guan Shan manages to breathe out just as Jian Yi pulls away.

Jian Yi and Zheng Xi rush out of the restaurant, leaving Guan Shan to stare open-mouthed at the table, his own hands still hanging in the air.

---

"Jian Yi."

"Hmmmm?"

"Why couldn't you have waited until He Tian brought you here? He promised to let you meet him right?" Zheng Xi asks him softly from behind the wheel, eyes trained on the busy traffic along the Queen's Road. Jian Yi smiles and meets his gaze at the rear-view mirror.

"Aaahh Zheng Xi. You're no fun." Jian Yi replies playfully, his mind on the same track as he thought about the red-haired man and his eternally scowling face.

"I don't know if He Tian already knows, but he's in for a really big surprise." He says quietly, twirling a lock of his hair. Zheng Xi's brown brow raises at him from the mirror.

Jian Yi continues to smile. He can't wait to see how their relationship will unfold. He looks outside of the window and towards the Victoria Harbor, and remembers seeing crashing ocean waves and coral reefs in Guan Shan's eyes when he held his hands.

---

The rest of the day passes by quite normally for Guan Shan, much to his relief. Though he had been distracted most of the time because of his weird lunch with Jian Yi and Zheng Xi, he manages to finish the day without anymore hiccups. He was able to peacefully finish up in the restaurant as well as safely reach the bus stop, but not without a few paranoid glances behind him as he walked briskly.

Still, he can't seem to shake off the perturbing feeling he got after looking at Jian Yi up close. He admits inwardly that he feels embarrassed for his reaction, staring dumbfounded as if the other man had compelled him to stop moving.

It's almost as if he knew what I was thinking, or he knew more about me than I did. He scratches at his temple, still mulling about the weird conversation, and that somehow Jian Yi didn't come to the restaurant to chew at him for stealing his fiancé. Or that he even seemed oddly happy that He Tian was even taking a romantic interest in him. He considers texting He Tian and asking him about it.

He thinks back to the white-haired man's eyes and gentle face and realizes, belatedly, that he didn't look so human.

"For now, be careful, okay?" He had said to him.

Could it be...that Jian Yi is like me?

Just when he was about to do so, his phone suddenly vibrates. He pulls out his phone from his jacket, expecting a message from He Tian.

6:27 PM

Unkown Number

You got lucky last time.

His heart freezes with cold dread.

---

AN:

Again, please reblog! And also give kudos and comments on AO3 <3

MGS is so dense he can't see that HT is deeply in love with him. And that JY and ZZX are actually together lmao.

I'm just gonna go ahead and say that He Cheng has sort of a brother complex. It's canon because I said so. And Qiu and HC are secretly f*cking.

Next chapter, they're finally going on a date. FINALLY. Also black earrings will be making a comeback.

Again, I'm really sorry it took me this long. The draft for Chapter 5 had been sitting around for like...three months. I also had to revise the plot bigtime; this was originally 15 chapters in total, but I crunched it down to 11. Because..well, 11 is more doable, and I believe in simpler is better. I just figured some of the chapters are quite unnecessary.

I don't know if people are still reading tianshan fics in 2020, but rawr here's an update.

#19 days #tianshan #old xian #mo guan shan #guan shan #he tian #he tian x mo guan shan #he tian x redhead #19 days fic #19 days fanfiction #19 days mermaid au #jian yi #zhang zheng xi #jiangxi #fic

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jazy3 · 4 years

Text

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 16X11

I really loved this episode! There were so many things I liked! The thing I liked most was how funny it was! I died laughing! I was hollering with laughter the entire time! It was SO funny! I haven't laughed that hard at something in ages! I also loved the chemistry between Meredith and Hayes aka McWidow! I loved their easy banter and how well they worked together. I loved that Cormac could admit when he was wrong and be gracious about it. And the way they worked together in the OR! They were like a seamless well-oiled machine. It's really cool to see Meredith work so well with someone who has the potential to be a great romantic partner and whose on her level professionally! In all of her past relationships there was always a power imbalance. I love her and Cormac together!

I love how in just a few short episodes Hayes has already endeared himself to Cristina, Jo, and Amelia! They are not easily impressed and he's already won them over! I love that! I think there's a lot of potential there. Meredith and Hayes aren't even dating yet and this relationship already has more support than any other she's ever been in. I'm so totally here for it! It's about friggin' time! Also what ship name are we using for Meredith and Cormac's budding romance? I've seen people using everything from Grayes to McWidow to McIrish! I'm a Grayes and McWidow fan myself so that's what I've been using so far. Now onto the recap. Meredith’s Voice Over this week is all about why people don’t go to the doctor and we open on her texting her favourite person: Cristina. I love their exchange!

Meredith: What do you mean by gift? Cristina: 🤷🏻‍♀‍ M: Professional or personal? C: 🤷🏻‍♀‍ M: I need more information!! C: 🤷🏻‍♀‍ M: You’re not funny

On the contrary Meredith I think Cristina‘s hilarious and she knows exactly what she’s doing. Wink wink. Amelia and Meredith are in the Attendings Lounge and following her text exchange with Cristina, Amelia asks Meredith if they’re have been any Maggie sightings today. She says she sent Zola up with food but she refused and that they’ll know when to push her. I love Meredith and her sisters! I sometimes wonder what things would have been like if Lexie had lived and Cristina had stayed. It would be cool to see the five of them together. We find out that Amelia has decided to tell Link about her pregnancy news but she hasn’t told Meredith as she has no idea what the hell Amelia is talking about.

Enter Hayes! He notices that a pregnant Amelia is struggling to tie her shoe and like the gentleman he is offers to help! Swoon! Meanwhile Meredith has no idea what to make of the man who last time she saw him bite everyone’s head off and drove her up the wall and is now tying her pregnant sister’s shoe for her. I love it! Amelia is impressed! Hayes offers Meredith coffee but she says she’s good. He makes small talk and then leaves. As Amelia says, “That is a very well wrapped gift.” Why yes it is! Meredith is annoyed as she still doesn’t know what to make of Cristina’s “gift” so she unties Amelia’s shoe! Haha I love it!

Meanwhile Teddy has lost her engagement ring! Which turns out to be a Hunt family heirloom. Oh dear. Jo promises to keep an eye out while Teddy continues to search. Next we find DeLuca sitting in a side room doing research. Meredith walks in. She tells him that he told her to take some time to think which she didn’t like because two people who are together should think things through together. Truth. When you’re in a relationship with someone and you’re truly committed you work and talk things out together. You don’t just throw a hissy fit over your own insecurities and walk away which is what DeLuca did. Instead of responding to this obvious truth and acting like he gives a crap DeLuca instead starts talking about a routine lap appy that he did on a patient whose not getting better.

Here’s what bugs me about this scene. Last week DeLuca was so eager to get back together with Meredith that he came crying to her sister, his ex, for help. This week he couldn’t care less about her and acts like they don’t even know each other. This guy is all over the map! They’ve rewritten DeLuca’s character so many times at this point I’ve lost track. Which is one of the reasons I don’t like him. He’s inconsistent, poorly written, and just an overall jackass.

Also I think it’s interesting that DeLuca broke up with Meredith because he couldn’t handle the fact that he’d never compare to Derek or be on their level skill wise but now that he needs help he turns to the great Dr. Meredith Grey for advice. Very telling. When Meredith wanted to be with him personally, he walked away because he couldn’t handle the fact that she was better than him professionally. Now that she wants to talk things through, he couldn’t care less and only wants her help professionally. What a loser.

DeLuca refuses to even address her comment and instead talks to her professionally as if they barely know each other. And he wonders why everyone hates him? Meredith is having none of it. Thank God. She tells him she’ll think on it and that he should fill Bailey in. Before leaving she leans over and whispers to him that she misses him in Italian. Meredith then turns and leaves. It’s only after this that we see any kind of normal reaction out of DeLuca. It’s as if he suddenly remembers they used to date.

DeLuca smiles and calls after her that he didn’t dump her, so she doesn’t have to miss him. Meredith walks away. Fun fact: that’s called gaslighting. DeLuca showed up to Meredith’s house after she got her medical licence back, compared himself to her dead husband, and then threw a temper tantrum about his own insecurities and how they weren’t partners and told her to take some time.

He then claimed to Link and Nico that he didn’t dump her, got schooled on it, and eventually went to Maggie for advice. He admitted to her that he meant what he said. Now that Meredith wants to talk instead of apologizing he’s gaslighting her. DeLuca keeps claiming he didn’t dump her all the while refusing to apologize or address the issues at hand. They’re not equals and they never will be. That hasn’t changed and he meant what he said so there’s really nothing to talk about here.

Also DeLuca claiming that he didn’t dump Meredith when in fact he did doesn’t change those facts. Also what is his plan here? Does he really think being a passive aggressive asshole is going to win Meredith back? DeLuca’s an idiot. Last week and the episode before that he whined to everyone about how he didn’t dump Meredith and wanted to get back together. This week she wants to talk and all he does is treat her with coldness and make passive aggressive comments. He’s first class idiot and Meredith deserves better. It looks like she may have found it in Hayes and I couldn’t be happier!

Another reason why I'm totally a Grayes fan? "Listen Grey this is your house, but someone gave me a key so maybe it's best if we try to learn how to live together," Is such a low key epic line. Like hot damn. I'm not one for pick up lines but damn son. Also I love that he follows it up with, "Welcome back Dr. Grey. I can see why you were missed." Like damn. He's been a pain in the ass to work with all day and he knows it, but he can also admit when he's wrong and do it gracefully and I love that

Also Hayes is so into Mer. He could have said anything to her as he exited the elevator and he goes with a straight fire pick up line about how someone gave him a key to her house so they should learn how to live together and he can see why she was missed? Damn. I'm so sunk. I'm so into this ship and Hayes has only been in three episodes! I can't wait to see more of Meredith and Hayes together! They have so much in common and they are such a slow burn! I love it!

I love that Hayes doesn't brag about being right about the vaping case. He totally could have and he chose not to. Meredith didn't brag about the Jamie Caldwell case and she totally could have and choose not to. I love that they have this mutual respect already. It's also cool to see a new male doctor on the show that doesn't brag and gloat every 5 minutes. Real talk that is one of the most annoying things about the remaining male characters on Grey's. I'm really liking this new guy.

Also I love that Hayes went from not understanding who Meredith was talking about at the beginning of the episode to being super curious and intrigued as to how she knows Cristina by the end of it. He definitely wants to know what the story is there. In other non-Grayes related news Amelia finally tells Link the truth that the baby might not be his. It’s heartbreaking and devastating to watch.

Amelia makes this great speech about how she loves what they have and why she loves him, but that she understands that he needs time to think. We’ve seen such growth from Amelia this season. I’m so proud of her. We get an update on the residents and find out that Bailey took some time off after her miscarriage. Of course Koracick doesn’t know that so he’s being his usual asinine self. We meet the patient DeLuca was talking about. Her name is Suzanne. She’s very sweet and has two very cute kids and a loving sister who want her to get better.

Even more tragic we learn that Suzanne’s partner died last year. He had a migraine that got so bad he went to the ER, but the doctors sent him home saying he would be fine. He died shortly thereafter so now her kids are terrified of hospitals. Oh god. Honey you are at the wrong place. They don’t call it Seattle Grace Mercy Death for nothing!

We see Hayes and Meredith meet in the hallway. Mer wants to address the elephant in the room and says she’s not sure what Cristina said to him and wants to know more. Only Hayes has no idea what she’s talking about. As soon as Mer realizes this she stops talking and says Never mind. Hayes isn’t deterred though and he keeps asking questions until she distracts him by asking him if he’s going to the pit. I love the ease that Meredith and Hayes already have with each other. I love the way she smiles when she talks to him and I love how persistent he is when it comes to the truth! It feels like we got the old Meredith back and I love it.

Hayes is confused as what the pit is. Meredith explains she’s talking about the ER. He asks why they call it that. Meredith says she doesn’t know. I love scenes where they talk about the medical language and slang different countries and cultures use. Right after they get there a 17 year old kid named Kai starts coughing up blood. They begin working together and start treating him. Meanwhile Maggie is still at home hiding. Richard comes to see her and through some ingenious text messages convinces her to answer the door.

During this scene Justin Chambers’ name appears and he is credited in this episode despite the fact that he does not appear. This makes sense seeing as episodes 1 - 12 would have been filmed last year while he was still under contract. Man I miss Alex already. Fun fact from this episode: Richard Webber can cook! This man is full of surprises. Who knew? Back at the hospital Jo comes to talk to Link who tells her about Amelia’s baby news. Just as they start to talk a man calls out for help and they run over to help him.

“All these blue pyjamas, I can’t get any help over here?!” LOL this guy! It turns out this man swallowed an entire fish and then while being rushed to the ER his friend accidentally slammed his hand in the cab door to the point that it’s gushing blood! Yuck! Back at the house Richard is dismayed by all of the places there are to put food and the lack there of it! Some things never change. Aw! There’s a photo of Zola in her Day of the Dead outfit on the fridge! Also I love the Pac Man style ghost drawing! A+ for whoever’s kid drew that one!

Maggie just wants to be left alone. Richard refuses to give up. Meanwhile, Owen has the day off so he comes to see Teddy at the hospital. He wants to talk wedding plans but she tearfully tells him they can’t because she lost the ring! Owen reassures her and tells her that it won’t be an issue because they’re going to find it. Which admittedly is very sweet of him.

It turns out this guy knowingly ate a potentially poisonous spiky puffer fish from a bar aquarium at his bachelor party on a dare. Yep. That happened. I bet this isn’t even made up. I bet you anything someone’s actually done this. I love Jo’s line, “I honestly worry for your entire gender sometimes.” Hahaha Jo! Same here girl same here. Jackson, Jo, and Link scrub in on fish guy. Link tries to act like he’s cool with the whole unknown paternity thing and Jo calls his bluff.

As Jo says, “You can love her and be mad at her at the same time. Both things can be true.” Wise words indeed. Amelia goes to talk to Owen and Teddy only to find them looking for the ring. Owen gets a text saying Leo just threw up all over daycare so Owen and Teddy run off to deal with that leaving a confused and anxious Amelia behind. I’m confused as to why Amelia stayed behind. Leo is her kid too. Why didn’t she go with them?

Meanwhile Meredith and Hayes are giving Kai a CT scan. Hayes comments that he’s got a couple of boys at home that are Kai’s age. He says he had to read a whole book on brain function just to manage to forgive them for everything they do. Meredith laughs in response as Hayes tells her that he came home the other night to find the oldest one throwing a tennis ball as hard as he could at the youngest one’s head. And that the game was could his brother dodge it before he got brain damage. Meredith, being a parent herself, laughs in response because she gets it. She then apologizes saying she shouldn’t laugh at that because it’s actually not funny.

Gosh the way he looks at her! I just love it. I love their easy laughter and how they understand each other’s experience. Losing a spouse young and having to raise a bunch of kids as a single parent while running a department is no picnic. Hayes is just perfect for Meredith. He’s everything she needs and wants. I love it! Hayes then opens up to Meredith and explains why he acted the way he did the other day. He says it was a tough day for him and that he gets a bit dark this time of year because it’s when he lost their Mum to cancer.

He says he hopes that the two of them can start over and Meredith says sure. She’s been there and is there. She knows what’s it’s like to lose a spouse and get all dark and twisty over it. I think it’s great seeing Meredith with someone whose dark and twisty like she is. I’m tired of all this fluff. I want to see her with someone who’s as screwed up as she is. Who gets it. They can be dark and twisty together. Meredith asks him how long it’s been since she passed. Cormac answers that she’s been gone two years ago last week. Because she’s been there she tells him two years is tough but that it gets better.

As she says, “Two years is tough. Gets better. Not all the way better obviously, but a little bit better.” Meredith’s been there so she knows what she’s talking about. Hayes is about to respond when the CT scans pop up. I’m looking forward to seeing Meredith address being a widower more. It shouldn’t be the whole focus but getting to see and understand her experience as she moves forward with someone new who understands her pain is critical. I’d also love to see her talk about Derek and her other deceased loved ones more. Dating someone who understands that kind of pain could make it easier to talk about. You shouldn’t have to hide your love for someone. I’d love to see Meredith and Hayes go on a dinner date and talk about their dead spouses and what they do and don’t miss. You don’t stop loving someone because they die and Mer deserves someone she can talk about that stuff with.

She shouldn’t have to hide her love for Derek anymore than Hayes should have to hide his love for his wife. They need to be able to talk about that stuff and I look forward to seeing them explore that more. Meredith and Hayes look at the scans. The kid’s supposed to be an athlete yet he’s got the lungs of a 60 year old smoker. Meredith is baffled but Hayes says he’s seen this before. “I bet you a naggin he vapes.” Yikes! Hayes comes to talk to Kai’s Dad and his friends. His Dad is in disbelief but based on their reactions Hayes deduces correctly that the boys know something they’re not saying.

Telling them that this is no time for secrets Hayes gets them to open up and they admit that Kai vapes but don’t think it’s that bad because half the school does it. Cormac is having exactly none of that and schools them on the fact that vaping is similar to smoking in that you’re putting chemicals into your lungs which are meant inhale air not smoke or chemicals. Hayes shows them a picture of a healthy lung and another photo of their friend’s which looks awful. They act flip in response and he promptly loses it on them. Hayes tells them to get out of his face and that the stuff is deadly just as Meredith comes down the stairs. Kai’s Dad is freaked. Hayes explains that his son’s not dying but thinks the only way to help him is to repair his esophagus and remove part of his lung.

Meredith disagrees. She thinks they should try to stop the bleeding by coiling the artery which is the least invasive option and what she‘d want for her own kids. Kai’s Dad is swayed and says he wants to go with the option Meredith presented. Cormac concedes and says they’ll get back to him. As they walk away he tells Meredith he’ll defer to her going forward, she tries to make amends, but Hayes says that’s not necessary. He clarifies that he’s not being passive aggressive or trying to make an issue out of it. Meredith believes she can do it, Kai’s Dad wants her to try, so she should be the one to do the procedure.

I love this for so many reasons. If this same scenario happened with one of Meredith’s other love interest it would be a whole thing! Derek would have had a field day, Riggs would have been pissed, and DeLuca would have thrown a temper tantrum. Hayes? Nah. He’s cool as a cucumber. He’s not mad or upset. He’s doesn’t treat her poorly or patronize her. He graciously accepts defeat, defers to her, and moves on and I love that. Meredith deserves someone like that in her life. We all do.

They have some nice banter about how Hayes keeps accidentally terrifying his patients’ parents and he tells her he was trying to terrify the kids who are Kai’s friends from school. I love how easily they get along. Back at the house Maggie and Richard talk. She wants to be left alone. He wants to know why she quit. She explains about the mix up with the perfusionist and not knowing the protocol at Pac North. Maggie asks Richard to go and he leaves. Back at the hospital Teddy and Owen are looking after a sick Leo. They get an x-ray to try and figure out what’s going on.

And figure it out they do! It turns out that Leo ate Teddy’s ring! Over in the OR Meredith and Hayes are operating on Kai and she’s got on her mint green scrub cap today with the swirls on it. I like seeing all of her different scrub caps and the metaphor they embody about how she’s moving on with her life post-Derek’s death. Meredith deploys the coil while Cormac attempts to backseat drive which annoys her. He tells her he didn’t want to do it because there’s often a re-bleed and seconds later it happens.

Hayes wants to open him up, but Meredith thinks she can deploy another coil. Hayes tells her they don’t have time. I love their exchange in this scene. Meredith says, “I’m sorry,” and Hayes responds, “Don’t be sorry. Tried it your way. Now help me with mine.” He could have gloated and being a real jackass about it and said I told you so but he didn’t. He admired her willingness to try and when her way failed he didn’t gloat or make an issue of it. In fact he told her not to apologize and instead asked for her help in doing it his way. Because that’s what being a mature adult is all about. Accepting defeat and triumph graciously and asking for help when you need it. Just one of the many reasons I already love Hayes as a character.

Meanwhile, Jo, Jackson, and Link are still operating on fish guy. It’s rough going. “Every time I think I’ve seen the craziest, dumbest things a person can do the ER’s just like ‘Hold my beer.’” Oh Jackson! This line! LOL. Meanwhile Meredith and Hayes are still operating on Kai. He tells her in the interest of full disclosure that this isn’t the first time he’s had the debate about whether to coil or resect. Mer doesn’t find this very comforting. She responds with, “So I was wrong but I’m not alone? Thanks.” Hayes clarifies and says that last time he was on her side and he insisted on the coil even though his colleague adamantly disagreed.

Hayes says he didn’t even get as far as Mer did before it all went sideways. So Meredith asks, “Who was the colleague?” And Hayes replies, “Head of the Klausman Institute: Dr. Yang. Absolute nightmare.” Hahaha oh Hayes you have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into. I love that knowing look Meredith gives him too. Elsewhere Bailey and DeLuca are giving Suzanne a CT scan. She does not like it at all. They rule something else out but still can’t figure out what’s wrong with her. Then Koracick walks up. He’s confused as to why the Chief of Surgery is doing follow ups on a routine appy and chastises her for it mockingly. Bailey gets up and closes the door in his face like a boss.

Just then Suzanne starts coding. For the first time in ages we see DeLuca whose Chief Resident actually practicing medicine. In an even bigger shock he actually does his job competently. Elsewhere fish guy is finally out of surgery. He’s trying to figure out how to his fiancée when she walks in. She is not happy. “You are dumber than a turtle!” She says. Can’t argue with that one. This woman is done. She’s had enough. She’s calling off the wedding. She says that last month her mother offered her $10K to push the wedding back a year and she told her no.

She realizes now that it was her not her mother who couldn’t see him for who he really was and this isn’t the life she wants. As she says, “When someone shows you who they are over and over you’re supposed to believe them.” Very true. Also I hope her Mom gave her that 10K after she called it off. Link seems to take this sentiment to heart although I’m not sure why. Amelia’s been open and honest with him and she’s better mentally than she’s ever been. Bailey and DeLuca promise Suzanne they’ll get answers. Back at the house Richard shows up again this time with groceries. I love this exchange. Maggie asks, “What is this? And Richard replies, “It’s called food. Let’s see what it’s like to actually eat some.” Haha I love Richard. He has the best lines. Maggie’s then talks about what Sabi meant to her and all the reasons Richard should hate her. In response he tells her about his Mom who died when he was 10. He says he doesn’t remember much but when he was upset, she would make them both pancakes.

And she’d say, “Let’s talk about it after you’ve had something to eat.” So that’s what he’s trying to do for Maggie. My heart. It’s nice hearing Richard talk about his Mom and learn more about his family. I like seeing him bond with Maggie more. Richard and Maggie have a heart to heart. He encourages her to get back into the OR. They talk about Sabi. Back at the hospital Owen and Teddy talk about Leo and the ring. He’s going to be fine but Teddy’s still distraught about losing it in the first place.

So Teddy and Owen reach a compromise. They’ll add some extra letters to her necklace to represent the whole family and put the ring in a safe for special occasions. And now Teddy has to sift through Leo’s poop. Isn’t parenting fun? Back at the hospital, Cormac talks to Kai’s Dad. They have a heart to heart and he thanks him for saving his son. Hayes meets Mer in the hallway. He tells her he won’t rub it in that he was right. She apologizes again. He chuckles and tells her that when he was on the other end Yang drive him mad.

He says she left him notes all over the place every day for months. “I was right you were wrong. Little pictures of respected lungs.” As Mer says, “Well that sounds about right.” I can so see Cristina doing that too! She’d think it was hilarious. She probably really liked Hayes as a colleague and he has no idea. Oh Cristina. Never change. Hayes is confused by Mer’s response and asks her about it, “Wait you know her?” Uh oh. Cats out of the bag. Mer tries to explain but can’t find the words. Hayes quirks some eyebrows and is intrigued.

In response Meredith stumbles over her words and then says, “Um ... I gotta go.” Oh Meredith. She walks away rather than face the truth as Hayes stares after her in confusion. I can’t wait to see this storyline play out! It has so much potential! Bailey’s about to leave for home but Koracick won’t let up. She’s finally had enough and so she tells him the truth. She wasn’t on vacation. She sat in her house for three days, drank tea, and cried her eyes out because she had a miscarriage.

He’s surprisingly sympathetic and tells her to light a candle. He tells her that his ex-wife Dana miscarried twice before their son David was born. He says that every year he still lights candles on what would have been their birthdays. Tom is such an interesting character. He’s a complete asshole one minute and the nicest guy you’ve ever met the next. Greg Germann does an amazing job portraying him. Also, can we talk about the fact that the man lost three children? His wife miscarried twice and then his son died young from a freak accident at school.

It destroyed his marriage to the point that his wife eventually left to be with another man and he was broken he couldn’t do anything about it. Which is why Tom 100% did not deserve the crap Teddy put him through. That was BS. He deserved better. God dammnit. Also, I don’t understand why the other characters aren’t more upfront with Tom. He’s made it clear that if you’re upfront with him he’ll leave you alone. It’s only when he’s in the dark that he starts bugging people. Seems pretty simple to me. Just saying. Meanwhile, Link pages Amelia to the plant room. He’s upset she didn’t get checked out earlier and wants her to do a paternity test.

He’s calm and collected about it but also clearly upset. So is Amelia. She asks what happens if he’s not the father? He’s says he wants to be cool about it and say it doesn’t matter but he’s not sure how he feels yet. He says he wants to take things one step at a time. Amelia is devastated but she keeps it together as best she can. Watching her cry silently as her eyes fill with tears is gut wrenching. Amelia’s been through so much! I just want her to be happy god damnit! Also, I don’t get why the paternity matters so much. You either love someone or you don’t. You either want to be a Dad or you don’t. What difference do the genetics make?

We find Meredith running along a hallway. She runs into the scan room where DeLuca is pouring over paperwork. She says she got his text and suggests they go to dinner so he can clear his head a bit. Which is all very nice of her considering he dumped her over his own insecurities and has been nothing but a passive aggressive aloof asshole ever since. DeLuca in response bites her fricken head off and start shouting about his patient Suzanne and how he can’t help her. In response Meredith takes him by the shoulders and tells him to walk her through the case from the beginning.

Which again is very nice of her. If someone dumped me and then treated me like that I’d tell them to take a hike! I think it’s interesting that Meredith’s Voice Over this episode is about facing up to the truth both good and bad and how important that is. In my mind this applies to her in two ways. One, she needs to own up and tell Cormac the truth about her and Cristina. Two, she needs to accept that her relationship with DeLuca is over and never would have worked out long term.

It also looks like Meredith is joining Suzanne’s case which could be interesting to watch. Personally, I’d like to see her work more with Hayes, but she hasn’t had a big case in a while so this could be fun. Next we see Bailey at the chapel lighting a candle for the baby she miscarried. My heart. Richard arrives home. Catherine’s not pleased to see him. She asks how his day was. He says it was uneventful. She says Dr. Wells from Pac North called looking for him. He tells her he spent the day trying to convince Maggie to come back to work.

She doesn’t believe him. He tells her their marriage can’t work if she doesn’t trust him. To which she responds, “Who said this was working?” Yikes! He asks her what she’s trying to say. She says she thinks it’s time for them to have a much bigger conversation. Real talk though I don’t understand Catherine this season. She’s been nothing but cold to Richard when he’s done nothing to her. Yes, he did something he shouldn’t have done while sticking up for Meredith but what does that have to do with Catherine?

For the first time in his life he’s married to someone he loves, he’s not drinking, and he’s not having an affair. That’s huge for him. What more does Catherine want? And he’s doing his best to be there for Meredith and Maggie as their surrogate father. All of the problems at this point are in Catherine’s head. He’s not cheating on her. He backed up Meredith because he loves her like a daughter. He’s supporting Maggie because he’s her biological father. That’s what you’re supposed to do for people you love for family. Sheesh.

Now onto this week’s promo! And it looks like we’ve got a stand-alone episode coming our way! It’s Catherine and Richard’s anniversary dinner and you know that’s going to be awkward! And it looks like Jackson invited Vic for some reason who invited Dean! Maggie is also in attendance. Oh boy. This is going to be one awkward dinner.

Until then!

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steve0discusses · 4 years

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Yugioh S4 Ep 9: Denial on so Many Fronts

I’ve managed to have a pretty open timeslot this holiday, where I decided I was going to do lots of catch up work. (I have instead filled up my Background Music Playlist with lots of youtube piano covers of Castlevania.)

So of course I find myself back at this blog to fill the leftover time, it being so many weeks (months, actually) since I was able to do a double update weekend (spoiler, I did not finish a second update :) ).

This episode, Yugioh decided to legitimately enter romance territory and y’all it is something. And I don’t mean it in a “Ain’t that something!” sort of way, I mean it in the “That is...something.” Kind of way. And for the first time in forever, I actually have to talk about romance today. For once that is actually something this episode is about. For about 5 entire minutes. It’s staggering.

So lets get into it because the stance the show decides to take against the only valid romantic relationship it’s had outside of Pegasus sure is something.

Duke has managed to get inside Pegasus’ facility/Place Duke works at every single day. Incredible that he finally made it inside of his actual workplace. Whether he just found an open door or Metal Geared up a trash chute is undeclared, since that was all off screen between episodes, but maybe he has to do this like...all the time? Like heaven forbid Duke ever leave his phone at the office because this place seems iron clad and apparently there is absolutely no one he can call to let him in.

Like for reals isn’t Duke upper level management or something? Like a team director for an entire model of card game? Wtv, I guess he got demoted at some point and now he’s at the same level as a Google temp.

Duke used to air on international TV, just throwing that out there. He used to be a very big deal. Course, for all we know, maybe he also got locked out of his game store all the freakin time?

Anyway, he finds some random room he’s decided is the security room and uh...

Starts just mashing buttons.

I assume that he was just mashing the entire time it took for this duel to last, PS, because we all know that password, but does Duke? Is Duke, in fact, the only character left on this show that doesn’t know Pegasus’ password because he wasn’t there in most of S1?

(read more under the cut)

As Joey is playing Mai, he’s noticed that she is freaking out, but only intermittently. She’s going in between personalities like Yugi and Pharaoh.

In the show it makes it seem like she’s “Snapping out of it” as far as the Orichalcos’ effects go. But like...becoming a stumbling crying mess in between card draws is sort of like...not making Joey look like a good guy.

In fact, this episode goes out of their way to try and paint him a hero but they didn’t accomplish that. They start to. It starts to look like that. As Mai is breaking down, she loses her weird Oricalchos ability to no longer feel fear, and Joey takes the opportunity to try and get her to away from the dark side.

Thing is, the duel has already started so it’s kind of moot now since neither she nor Joey really know how to end the duel without killing the other. So it’s like he’s trying to reach out to her the only way he can since this duel wasn’t his choice anyway, but it is in a way that is killing both of them. Symbolism, I guess.

You know, it seemed like the show just needed a way to put a timer over Joey’s head and this was the only excuse they could give because the right thing to have done is just not play anything.

And that whole thing last episode where Pharaoh was like “there is ONE way out of this situation” I assumed would be about a tie. I kind of just assumed a tie would take place like between Kaiba and Alister...instead...it got weird.

First off, Valon--out of all people, Valon the drug card pusher of the wacky accent--decided to be more heroic than any of our heroes who are currently just gawking at a force field.

It’s been like 4 seasons since Yugi jumped and hung off the edge of a clocktower, only holding on by the point of his pyramid puzzle, and I keep seeing situations where we could see Yugi impress us yet again and instead he keeps his feet planted firmly on the ground while random ass Valon just shoots into the air like a rubber band.

Why didn’t I just assume that when Pharaoh said “I know how to beat this.” he meant to punch it directly in the face?

I’m pretty sure it’s an allusion to the fact that Oricalchos takes away your sense of fear that these three are constantly being huge idiots and jumping off ledges and out of airplanes but like...

...they are wearing a lot of padding, to be fair.

(I joke about Joey getting possessed as if he hasn’t been already)

And so Valon, this evil as hell villain who’s probably killed countless numbers of people up until now just starts freaking out about Mai. Like, a lot for this show. Like we even get a really awkward death squeeze. And like she ain’t even dead.

Almost like Severus Snape in that awkward Harry Potter Movie flashback, but Valon actually dated her once (I could go off about the Harry Potter movies but I’ll spare you.) It’s just every time Mai passes out there will be some man crying over her that she doesn’t even seem remotely aware of when she’s awake.

Like remember how Mai got engaged and she forgot? At the time I thought that was super weird but I’m starting to realize she probably just took a nap or something and then boom.

So although none of this is Raphael’s business, he’s so annoyed at Valon for possibly pissing off Darts that he decides to deflect his anger onto Pharaoh--who wasn’t even participating in this duel.

I mean Raphael wanted to kill Pharaoh anyway but it still feels like kind of a reach.

Speaking of reach...I miss our really good storyboarder. Check out that foreshortened hand. Man Yugioh, the whiplash from good to eh. It’s so much whiplash.

So, in a burst of green light, the three bikers vanish.

And I guess now they can just use Mai’s bike whenever, because it’s not like she’s gonna use it. But I doubt very much Tristan will remember that.

And so, this is about where this episode’s romance goes a little weird because Joey just...

Am I supposed to want Joey to break up Valon and Mai? Like I know one time Joey attempted to take a fireball for her (but didn’t, that was Pharaoh, who isn’t currently crying about Mai despite taking a fireball for her), and then another time Joey dueled Marik for her (and lost.) But like...then Joey lost touch with her for over a year and legitimately didn’t seem bothered until just now when she showed up.

Valon not only seems at least 2 years older than Joey, he’s also stuck around with her for longer than a week, which is much longer than the amount of time that Joey Wheeler has spent with her (while she was conscious). And listen I don’t ship, you know me, but I feel like the show isn’t doing a good job to convince me that Valon is anything but loyal to Mai. Just throwing that out there.

It just comes off that Joey is jealous and unable to cope with Mai being around another guy, when it’s like...Joey...Mai was gone for over a year. You can’t claim dibs anymore. It’s possessive this episode to a degree I don’t think the writers wanted to go. It feels like an accident that they wrote him like this.

I guess, story wise, Joey needs a reason to duel and be on this show--but why must it always gravitate around a girl who’s actually just fine without him?

Like Mai right now is a mess but she wants to be this mess. Personally I think he should respect her decision and give her space but I guess this show really wants to go the angle of “If your friend goes off the deep end, dive after them” to which I would like to say “or don’t.”

Like I think this is all on a case by case basis, but...Mai’s MURDERED people (and a gas station). Although one of them was Pegasus, who doesn’t count, this is still a situation where you should maybe avoid your friend and just call the cops already. If there has been a murder, especially if there’s been over 20 murders, it’s OK to finally call the cops. Mai is a SERIAL MURDERER, which should never mean “she can come back.”

I mean it’s not like any of these kids decided to start hanging out with Marik, right? And I mean they kinda all decided unanimously that maybe they should hold back chilling with Bakura? This should be old hat for them now. They’ve had to deal with the murderous betraying friend so many times. Why must Mai be so special?

But I guess that is Joey’s whole shpeal, isn’t it? That’s Joey’s magical superpower? He wouldn’t be friends with Yugi if he was bothered by his friend occasionally going Pure Asshole. And Joey did have a darker background himself (which is something the show keeps telling me but I have never actually seen because we haven’t seen it in Season Zero. Which honestly means I should do a Season Zero next because how long am I going to wait to watch that Joey backstory?)

So I guess I should stop being so practical about it, this is a fantasy story, and the fantasy of Joey Wheeler is that he can actually try to keep the people in his life from going topside and it actually works. The most magical person in all of Yugioh if that’s true because you ever try and change a drug addict? There’s a reason why they have therapists for that.

Speaking of topside,

Kaiba just shows up in the middle of a Joey meltdown and youknow what? He’s barely even that surprised that these guys are in San Fransisco crying on the floor of his ex-competitor’s lobby. He’s just so used to this.

And so, we’re all going to ignore Joey and just try not to notice Rex and Weevil and instead talk about cards.

Ps in the show Mokuba says his brother “swept the floor” of Alister when like...Seto nearly died multiple times. Mokuba’s so ready to lie his face off to save his brother’s face when like...no one asked. He just volunteered this information.

That and Mokuba might not actually know how this game is played (NO ONE REALLY KNOWS) and legitimately thinks his brother did really good in that card game. We still don’t know entirely what the title “Battle Commissioner” even meant and knowing this company it was probably a secret job made to hide lots and lots of illicit insider trading. Because we all know Mokuba wasn’t playing cards.

So, Yugi remembers that he has this key card that is a card with a key printed on it, and figures...it probably opens a door or something. That maybe they should do that thing they came to California to do, and since all (counts on fingers) 9 of them (10 if you count Pharaoh) are here, they may as well all do it together.

Meanwhile, every animator in that studio cried a single tear over the amount of bad hair they will have to shove into every frame between 9 of these people. Crowd scenes wow.

And what’s great about this next shot is that you have no idea which way Joey’s head is pointed. I dare you. take it in.

And so they all go up to the top floor with Duke Devlin while these two are just...still here.

Rex and Weevil are still here. Despite everything.

(forgive me if this is a joke I forgot I read off of tumblr once. I’ve been reviewing this show so long I just...I don’t remember what jokes I’ve already made)

(Also, I can’t believe they stuck in Rex and Weevil but didn’t put in Mokuba into this shot.)

So they open the cryptic door with the cryptic Keycard and enter...Pegasus’ room of toon suits.

I imagine he just pulls these out whenever there’s an event in the city, just like “Hell yes hell yes it’s Bay to Breakers time to be a parrot with boobs for some reason.”

(fun fact, despite the weather, SF is home to 3 clothes-optional beaches. You can see two of them from the Bridge.)

And so Pegasus decides to tell everybody what we already know. Rex and Weevil have overheard this, but they’re busy like...looking for trading cards in all these mascot suits. Whatever makes it easier for this team of animators. Like you never really think about it, but kid’s shows have just a hell ton of crowd scenes. Worse than a Marvel comic right here.

PS, if you are designing a comic or a drawn story of any degree--just never allow a party to be more than 4 people at a time, Kill off anyone you have to in order to make this happen, you’ll thank me later. Never EVER a draw a crowd scene. Once you do, then other people will think that you can draw crowd scenes, and you never, ever want anyone to know that.

It was nice of Pegasus to let Arthur Hawkin’s take the fame for Atlantis, I guess. But like...Pegasus just...he really doesn’t seem to care about the fate of humanity unless it inconveniences his card game.

Bro brought up “how much do you think Pharaoh even knows about America other than it’s a place across the sea that Rebecca lives? Like do you think that he has a good grasp on there being 7 continents?” and I’m guessing...not much. Course this is like a weird America with mesas and deserts in Napa so...I don’t know if the animators have a good grasp even.

Anyway, where do you think the key is?

And What do you think the key is?

So in the show Kaiba sees this card and goes “It’s a worthless card” (because I dunno maybe he forgot for the zillionth time that this was how he got turned into a playing card) and then Pharaoh replies “Maybe to you it is.” and like...

...You know the thought crossed Pharaoh’s mind.

To just put a little Seto in there.

Youknow, it took me 4 seasons but I can deffo see why and how Pegasus did it. If I were in Pegasus’ shoes, how long would it take me before the Kaiba kids are paper? Like 10-20 minutes tops? Especially with how completely insane Kaiba acts this episode?

And speaking of endless denial, Joey still hasn’t quite caught up to the plot.

He’s getting there, but he’s mentally still crying on the floor of the lobby.

Just Joey going all ham about a girl he hasn’t thought about in over a year. And then from the other side of the room, Kaiba is still coming to terms with Ep 2.

Like you have to hand it to Duke Devlin that not once in this entire series has he had a denial meltdown. Even Yugi had a denial meltdown (at several points) but Duke? Duke’s just winging it. Dukes just has no idea what’s happening or what he’s doing and is just winging it every second he’s been alive. He’d fit right into San Fransisco.

Like remember Duke hangs out in the bad parts of the Tenderloin for some reason, he deals with PG&E just deleting your power willy nilly and still making you pay for it, Comcast, Bay Area traffic, and, of course, the entire North Bay lighting on fire once a year, so he’s totally fine when it comes to cards.

And so Yugi, just unable to think of any solution to Kaiba being a wall just holds this up

And so with that, Kaiba has joined the party. I guess.

Well, back to eating this large stack of holiday cookies. Hope y’all have a good one--happy holidays!

It’s been a very weird year, but we’ve had some good news here in the States recently, I’m sure you all heard about it, that Inktober is legally unprofitable so now that means there will be nigh an Inktober ever again, and I am so stoked. I am so excited that the decade of hellish Inktobers is finally over.

That and the other stuff that happened but we won’t get into that ;)

Hopefully I’ll do another post before 2020 but I’m sort of in denial that 2020 is happening so I’m doing my best not to look at the calendar.

And if you just got here, this is where you can read my recaps in Chrono order from S1 Ep1

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psicygni · 6 years

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commenting is hard and scary: general trends in the reasoning of fic readers

an incredibly academic review of answers, asks, and replies by me, 2017, tumblrdotcom

Introduction

This post concerns the super scientific survey from yesterday. A couple of you asked, so: the reason I wanted to know why folks don’t regularly comment is a combination of things. The first is writing for spones, which is a rather new experience, and the comparatively tiny number of comments on what I think is a pretty darn good story, compared with the overwhelming enthusiasm for the s/u piece I posted the other week- it got me thinking, needless to say. Second is the ever present discrepancy between number of comments and read-counts on new chapters when I post them. Third is receiving comments that start ‘I never comment, but’ and finally giving into the curiosity of what that’s like, to read all this fic and not comment on it. Fourth is the always circling posts of ‘comment on the fics you read!’ with explanations of why and how - it seems like those don’t totally get through to people? I don’t know, maybe they do, but it’s not like I reblog one and wake up the next morning to a bevy of comments.

Methods

Participants included the metric butt-ton of anon commenters, plus those who replied to the original post which you can read here. Too many to respond to without clogging everyone’s dashes, so we’re doing this instead.

Results

There were five main categories that responses fell into: not having much to say (and the temptation of the kudos button), RL issues, finding commenting stressful, perceptions of the author, and other.

The Profundity of Comments

The most reoccurring reason for not commenting (or not commenting regularly) was a feeling of not having much to say other than ‘I liked it. As one anon wrote, “i just honestly never know what to say and other comments are so well-constructed that i feel like my random "aww theyre so cute" would be inadequate.” This pressure to feel profound was reiterated by others, such as another anon who suggested “I think not all readers are former lit majors who may get intimidated to leave a "thoughtful" comment and are reading to de-stress or something.”

Beyond this lack of profound and interesting statements on fics, there was a general feeling that leaving a kudos, favoriting a fic, or creating a bookmark was akin to leaving a short comment saying ‘that was great’. One anon put it this way: “if I'm just saying 'great fic', it feels interchangeable with giving them a kudos”.

RL Issues

There was a reoccurring sentiment related to feeling like one has to be profound: not having enough time to sit down and leave the type of comment the reader wanted to. Also included in this was not having the energy to do so, either because readers were enjoying fic as a way to relax and de-stress, or because they were reading in bed and were tired. Another issue raised was the fact that mobile reading doesn’t lend itself to commenting, and it’s awkward to have to switch to a desktop to comment. Finally, there was the simple problem of forgetting, despite all best intentions. Life, as we all know, gets entirely too busy sometimes. @samttuummaa ties this all together nicely and puts words to what a number of other folks said in their own replies: “Here's the recipe: start with I read on my cell, where typing is a moth#£$&#@! of an experience. Combine that with the fact that I always had a million things to say so the reviews were rarely short. Toss that with a toddler wanting my attention. Let it all simmer in the fact that I only got to read in spurts of just a few minutes at a time… modify this recipe by adding a 2nd baby”.

Commenting as a stressful activity

This section of results fell into two main categories. First was readers who struggle with social anxiety. Second was readers for whom English is a non-native language, and either the difficulty of writing in english was prohibitive, or they were too self-conscious of their writing to enjoy the process of leaving a comment.

Author as a roadblock

Interestingly, many folks wrote about ways in which authors themselves were an impediment. There was a general sense among respondents that if authors don’t respond to comments, it’s not worth leaving them a comment on their story. One anon raises an interesting question, writing: “if the author then doesn't engage with the comments… why is a comment better than a kudos?” Additionally, readers felt that writers who don’t respond to comments might ignore the comments they leave, or commenting might be bothersome or irritating to these authors.

Some readers had negative interactions with authors which turned them off from commenting. One anon wrote: “Actually I left a good comment to a fic arthor and she didn't reply back to my comment but replied back to everyone's else and felt so horrible.” Another recounted a story of an ongoing correspondence with an author that went south for no discernible reason, which made them wary of engaging with writers in the future.

Another aspect of the way in which readers’ perspective of the author interfered with commenting was a perception that fic authors don’t like short comments. A second was that authors - myself included - are annoyed by pleas for updates, but that is what the reader really wants to write. (footnote 1: there is a difference between ‘update please!’ and ‘can’t wait to find out what happens next!!’ For me at least, the latter is more than welcome, while the former does tend to feel quite rude)

Finally, @what-if-im-a-mermaid and @mizjesbelle offered insight into the feeling that authors have their friends in fandom and that fics have an ‘insider/outsider’ culture, which the reader can be very much on the outside of, or that as an unknown reader, that feedback wasn’t pertinent compared to the author’s friends comments. As @what-if-im-a-mermaid wrote “I also remember having this vague impression of fandoms as these groups of people who all know each other and comment on each other’s work and are friends and feeling, idk, ‘excluded’ is not the right term because i wasn't sad about it, but like it was something I wasn’t part of? Like it didn’t concern me?” @mizjesbelle follows up this comment by writing, “@what-if-im-a-mermaid I know what you mean about a comment section sometimes feeling like a club you're not part of. I follow a lot of webcomics, and there are some I don't comment on because everyone clearly knows each other. I know they don't mean to be unwelcoming, but it can feel awkward.” (footnote 2: I have made all of my fandom friends through discussions started in comments on stories and trust me, if you comment on a story of mine, I remember you and I love you)

Other

There were a number of reasons that fell outside the above mentioned themes. These are that a fic is bad and the reader doesn’t want to leave criticism, being overwhelmed with feels after finishing reading a fic, the story is old, as a writer themselves they don’t care to receive comments and therefore don’t leave them as readers, and not realizing how it feels to put yourself out there and publish creative work. @what-if-im-a-mermaid writes, “I think part of it is that if you’re a casual fic reader and you’ve never put yourself out there by posting stuff you created to The Interweb it can be hard understand how incredibly rewarding receiving any feedback at all is. For the longest time I thought of fic writers as a bunch of people who find writing so easy and intrinsically rewarding that they post billions of words on line for free, because it makes them happy. They’re obviously Real Writers, very good at what they do, so why should feedback from a random girl who knows nothing about lit and writing affect them in any way? ‘ (footnote 3: it does make me happy, it’s so asldkfjasldkjf not easy, and if you enjoyed my story, you’re not random, see footnote 2 about how much I love you)

Discussion

Overall, a number of reasons stated here have made the rounds in fandom before: old stories tend to get few comments, folks don’t want to be rude and leave criticism, English is a ridiculous language, talking to authors can be scary, commenting is just plain hard when we all have work/school/kids/whatever, and the kudos button is right there for the clicking.

One aspect of these responses that surprised me was the variability. A lot of people have very different reasons for not commenting, which I hadn’t ever really considered before. As a writer, I interpret a lack of comments to mean that my writing is bad or boring, and even if folks are reading it, it’s more so out of not being able to find better fic than any true enjoyment.

Another thing I hadn’t thought about was the fact that for readers, the kudos button can feel the same as leaving a short comment - I don’t know about other writers, but those two feel entirely and hugely different to me. However, having read through all your responses I think I can change a bit and take kudos more to heart and hear what you’re all saying: you enjoyed the story and had you commented, that’s likely exactly what the comment would read. At the same time, I’d encourage all of you to consider how it feels to see a list of names of folks who have left kudos and know full well that only a handful of them stopped to tell you that they liked your story.

I was also surprised by the way in which a writer responding to comments made such an impact. I had no idea anyone responded until one day I left a comment and got a response back and then I started doing it myself. I mcfreaking love talking to readers through comments, especially on chaptered fic as I get to see their reactions as the story develops. It’s like getting to read my own story through someone else’s eyes and experience it as if I’m the reader who doesn’t know what’s coming up in the next chapter, with all of that thrill and fun. The same goes for one shots, though I don’t get to build that rapport over the course of the story.

Further Research

One question I’m left with is: for those of you who do comment, what is the draw for you? And for those of you who don’t, is there a way for authors to engage you so that you would comment? An anon wrote, ““FFN has this culture of the idea of asking for reviews being tacky, probably from the occasional 'I'll post the next chapter after 100 reviews' fics” which I’m not suggesting or anything of the sort. I don’t think that begging for comments is exactly the way through this. I’m more curious as to whether there is anything that might change your commenting behavior - because trust me, I’ll do it.

Conclusion

Fandom is the best and continues to be one of the great joys of my life, and I imagine many of yours. I wish I could convince everyone to comment, but I also respect all the reasons all y’all have furnished as to why that’s not realistic to ask.

#at the same time...#it's the holidays #leave a fic author you love a note #commenting #fic comments #long post #writing is fun!

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org3l · 6 years

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12장:가까워진 듯 해 설렌 맘에 불러봐도,대답 없어 넌

The weather was hazy, as the leaves wither and altogether the branches unveil themselves in transition to winter.

After your class, you didn’t know that next to your room was his, Dr. Lee’s post graduate class. You bid your goodbyes to your students first, and peeked to the glass from the door showing a portion of the room. You noticed how attentive the graduate students are, and their professor pointing to the monitor to guide them as he shows his specimens from his table.

They nodded, and felt that your head did too when they did.

He smiled, for a second, perhaps he realized how his students are catching up to what he is trying to explain. Then, he entertained questions, and welcomed inputs from the students before another topic is introduced. It felt like a normal conversation and he was telling an interesting story, and you already picture yourself attending one of his seminars soon with the faculty…

Must be engaging.

You can hear how he discuss: detailed and passionate at the same time. Speaking with the sole purpose to convey every detail the students have to know. Also, he made the class laugh by an inside joke you didn’t understand. It was impressive to know why he is respected and liked by many. It’s pretty rare, especially he’s just your lab assistant. It’s the moment where you realized of what he is in the university, and to see it to the door made you smile.

Not just for being kind, but being a good mentor.

Suddenly, you thought of why did he even accept a job of a faculty member who admitted his withdrawal to help you. Maybe it was for courtesy, lack of manpower or just because he wants to.

You don’t know.

Yet you’re thankful to be assisted especially when you have lots of things at hand.

Although, you remained civil, because it is your job and your boss is assisting you.

It kind of feels a lot from him. But what else?

As your thoughts flew, you noticed that you’re standing in front of the door where he can see you. And when he turned and saw you, you gulped. A lump you didn’t notice that needed a push to be swallowed. He took a sharp breathe, and was about to step out of the class when you sprinted out of the hallway and went to hide somewhere.

A post you leaned on, and caught your breathe.

It’s not that you’re trying to avoid him, but to keep a professional relationship is tough especially if you have feelings.

And… to clarify, both of you having it at the same time, as his words uttered during the car ride.

You were hesitant after that day, thinking if it’s really going too fast or just at the right pace from Kibum’s comment.

Yet you miss him close, by just being together feels better than a regular day at work: to see him is a already a price, and to be close is a bonus.

Maybe it was the teaser for something spectacular. Or it can be an encore for an almost blooming relationship. You don’t know.

Too afraid to ask, and too much fear has already accumulated on you when starting again with relationships. You even notice that when you were guys eating with others, he seemed to be keen about his actions. Not too showy and like to just keep an eye on you. Which was sweet, but knowing how Kibum saw it worried you about what did he think? How did he feel?

Because you didn’t talk about it thereafter, and that leaves things unanswered.

It’s a new thing. Don’t let it slide, also don’t let it wither. It’s not supposed to spontaneous, not should be inert. It’s hard. But somehow, at the back of your brain, you remind yourself that if it’s meant to be, then it’s worth it.

Going back to your class, you saw your students fill up their seats and chattering for a while. You could sense their apprehensive behavoirs while fcusing on the key points from the few lectures you had that will appear in the test. Others were pacing or reviewing on their own, and that made you feel less uneasy despite the circumstance. That somehow, despite your current dilemma, their engagements are appreciated.

Which made you give bonus questions of current events and trends that they rejoiced with the sudden generosity. Sometimes, you can fight fire with fire, but nothing else beats fighting it with water.

Let it cool down, and let it simmer for a while until you can step upon the ground again. That’s why you decided to keep your distance from him, and to anyone connected to him.

Especially Kibum, who might be texting you constantly on when you will hang out again especially he has so much things to say about Minho getting them back together. He can talk about him everyday, and to see them from afar how endearing they are made you feel happy for your now friend.

Kibum: When are we going to hang out again? We can drink wine you know and talk about people who we are interested with.

You: Maybe next time. Lots of paperwork these days, and the upcoming exams too.

Kibum: I’ll look forward to that, please please, I miss you.

You: You see me in the hallways everytime, and we go to the vending machine for nothing.

Kibum: But you’re always going somewhere after class. What are you trying to do? Being a busybee for … Dr. Lee :’)??? Do you have any business that you have to do… with him?

You: Lol.

Kibum: What a random answer, what’s going on?

You: Nothing, we’ll definitely hang out soon. I’m currently finishing a report.

It’s your way of putting things in perspective, to try not let other opinions get into your way of deciding if this is right. You’re an adult, and can decide for yourself on what can be the right move in a complicated situation and the consequences of your chosen path.

It seems to be what life is about, and sometimes you want to just want to fight yourself out of it.

Nevertheless, you’re currently in that situation. To decide on whether this was right to feel at all.

The exams came around, and being a proctor in some classes gave you time to talk with yourself and finalize reports that are needed once the tests are done. Encoding is such a job to do, and your co-workers are ready to warm up their seats and join the train until you guys are done.

That’s the goal.

And you got it finished with some lapses, yet you managed to accomplish every to do list before the break. Figures, with no distraction. Instead, it felt like a pause to your own personal sake.

They said sublimation can be a harm. It kind of does not, sometimes.

During the students’ break, you still go to the office with some unfinished businesses. Moreover, Taemin frequently visits Dr. Lee in his office during these times. And he won’t forget to say his regards to you every time he’s about to leave after stepping out of that room. But every time Dr. Lee… Jinki refers to you, you put on your earphones and continue your work. Even when you guys returned to classes again, that was the routine. Hence, when this happens, somehow he found a way to reach out to you.

He must’ve known.

But he’s no fortune teller.

But he has his tricks.

Even if he’s no magician, he has magic to capture your attention.

In your table, a cup of tea would be placed every day. It would have a post-it note of the following notes you kept on your room to look at the mirror once received. You want to keep it, since… it is from him.

He won’t get into detail since it’s just a small portion of paper, but to see them is an update to his life and how he feels with you is nice.

“Taemin wants to say hi. He thinks you’re working hard too much and he wishes to introduce you to his class sometime.”

“Will I be assisting tomorrow? I’ll be there early.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t at the laboratory today. Something came up, meeting at the Research Board. Here’s a bonus… doughnut. I think tastes good so I grabbed it from the meeting and kept it on my coat with tissue wrapped on it.”

The doughnut was there, with tissue. It looked bland, yet when you took a bite, he was right.

“Kibum’s being annoying and asking things about you to me. I told him that business that doesn’t concern the university nor the department and it’s associates are to be discussed to the said person he wants to talk with. Why aren’t you talking to him?”

“Funny. Now he talks to me about everything. Is this what you guys talk about? Minho? And… food?”

“I’m attending the game tonight, are you… coming? I can reserve a seat for you… anywhere you want. I can tell Minho, even if you want to seat on the bleachers if you want.”

“Are you going home… early or late? If you don’t have your car, I can take you home.”

“Meeting’s at the fifth floor room. I decided to order pizza. What flavor you want? They want Hawaiian. You can vote otherwise?”

“How are you today? Seem pretty sad. What’s up?”

“When will you be free? Let’s talk sometime.”

And from that last note was memorable, where you both looked at one another and he turned away to go back to his office like he was dragging himself in.

It felt heavy, and by pausing your music you heard his loud sigh from him. You felt squirmy, and to be this uncomfortable over someone feeling bad because you’re trying to solve something felt like a burden. You wish your mind isn’t so cranky and feeble, after all, it’s not just you.

#shinee!universityau #university au #onew #jinki #onew x reader #jinki x reader #shinee fanfic

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daddysfavouriteboytoy · 3 years

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Project - Heir Nr. 74

This is a character for a cyberpunk omegaverse rp-group, which was deleted before I could actually use him. But I still like him so I posted him.

Name: Project - Heir Nr. 74 Nickname: PH, 74, Robot Doc (usually by lower-class people) Age: approximately 250 years, designed to look like early to mid-20s Gender: Male Secondary Gender: Beta Sexuality: Pansexual Species: Cyborg Appearance: (Face-claim: Toni Petkov)

Height: 1,89 m/6'2" Weight: 117 kg/258 lbs due to being build form heavy metals Body Type: despite being a beta, his design very muscular and on the taller side so he could fight back if someone started a fight with him Scent: Coffee and Petrol Personality: PH's strong will makes his dedication to his creator's intent of him possible, and he doesn’t give up his beliefs of equality because of simple opposition. This trait of his also mirrors in his dedication to giving everyone the opportunity to have a fair and good service. Tasks aren’t simply abandoned because they’ve become difficult or boring, he takes them up when they are the right thing to do, and they will be finished as long as they remain the right thing to do. However, PH is very easily annoyed when he's concentrating on his work, therefore it would be best to just leave him alone during that time if you can't handle his sass and cynicism. Being a cyborg and handling emotions different than humans, makes it sometimes nearly impossible to express his emotions properly and feel empathy for strangers. All of those traits don’t make PH a bad, introverted or uncaring person though, he is the most loyal, patient and reliable guy you can find. When he says he’ll do something, he keeps his word. PH also a strong sense of justice and despite the fact he might lack empathy, he's still very protective of those who can't protect themselves. At the same time, PH is known to be an extrovert, a quite humourless one but still an open and talkative person, who is always interested in learning new things and has no trouble speaking his mind in straightforward statements. Relationships: Rowland Jonathan Lewkenor - "father"; human; alpha; deceased Bee Lewkenor - adopted "stray"; human; omega; 19 years old Likes: when people who knew his creator personally tell him stories about him, general when people tell him interesting stories, Bee, his customers being satisfied with his work, the fact that he doesn’t feel pain unless it destroys (parts of) his body (leaving a dent, breaking something, melting some part of him,...), challenges at his work, updating his database and his body, his regulars at his store, being able to keep peace in his store, being the best at what he’s doing Dislikes: being called old or outdated, people fighting in his store, alphas/betas trying to sexually harass Bee, having to kick someone out, being threatened (he knows they won’t follow through with their threat because they rely on his work too much), when his workplace is a mess, having to always keep an eye on Bee when they go out together, people trying to convince him to only work for them, the roles people are pushed into because of their secondary gender, the basement because his prototypes are still down there and they make him feel uncomfortable (he still takes parts of them whenever he needs them tho) Social Class: Middle class but quite popular throughout the other social classes Occupation: self-employed cybernetic specialists/cyborg mechanic Position: Switch Virgin: No Turn-ons: teasing, being called master, cream pies, dirty talking, sleep play (receiving) Turn-offs: vore, watersports, chastity, pegging, tickling Others:

he treats everyone as equal no matter their race or secondary gender

he has the body type that is usually typical for alphas so he can protect himself and his clients better if they get threatened

he is a father figure for Bee and very overprotective of him, especially when alpha clients get too touchy/close to Bee

Backstory: Rowland was one of the greatest inventors if not even the best one during his time. He created a lot of things that shaped the world and turned it in what it was today. However, unknown to a lot because his creations overshine this aspect of his life, his main occupation was repairing and improving cybernetic machines. His knowledge about these things seemed to be endless. Due to his accurate and flawless work, he was the first person the rich went to whenever they had problems with something technical. Even the poor loved him because of his generosity and the fact that he adjusted the price of his repairs to his customers' amount of income. In his mind, everyone should be able to afford good work, no matter their social class and or secondary gender. He was a very neutral person in aspects of politics and clan reigns. In his house, everyone was equal and got treated the same way. Once he got older, he realized he needed an heir to continue his work just the same way he did. Despite the fact that he took in all kinds of races and species from various backgrounds as an apprentice, none of them managed to satisfy Rowland. Therefore he got the idea to build himself an heir instead. A cyborg couldn't die of old age and always updated himself to keep his database up-to-date, a machine could also work even more precisely than any biological being on this world. However, this task turned out to be even more complicated than the man had thought. It took him 42 years to eventually create a cyborg he thought worthy of being his heir. Rowan never bothered to name his "son", he always called him by his project name or masterpiece. The last years of his life Rowan taught his creation everything he knew and could so it could continue his legacy until the end of time. After Rowan's death PH took over the store just like his "father" intended him to, however, he was just a machine so he lacked the creativity of an actual biological being so he was unable to invent things and his father’s legacy got forgotten. Nevertheless, his main priority was to repair the broken technology and cybernetic machines the people brought to him anyway. PH worked like this for centuries on end without ever getting worse at what he was doing. The cyborg was keen on keeping his database up-to-date and even modified himself to keep up with the newest technologies. Due to that, his physical appearance changed a lot over the years but his basic design always remained the same. He also never changed body parts if they weren’t broken or wouldn't improve his work in some way or another. Therefore his body is still incredibly heavy despite there being very light metals on the market which could decrease his weight. PH also never thought about settling down during all his years of existing. Due to being a beta, he didn't experience any ruts or heats and therefore also lacked the sexual desire for a mate, flings or sex friends. Besides, he was also infertile due to being only a machine. The single remarkable event in his life was only 19 years ago. After purchasing a few new things he needed for his work, PH was on his way home when he heard some strange crying coming from a dumpster he was just passing by. Obviously confused the cyborg took a look inside and saw that there was a baby boy laying on a pile of garbage. PH looked around but there was no one to be seen. His guess was that someone abandoned the baby and so he decided to take it with him and raise it. Despite the fact that PH soon realized that the baby he took in was actually an omega, he couldn't care less about that. Just like his creator, he thought everyone was the same and deserved to be treated the same. So he raised the baby just like his "father" raised him. And it turned out, just like his father PH was terrible at giving names when he named the baby after one of the first things he saw on his way home, a bee. He named the child, Bee Lewkenor. During all the years PH was raising the child, he was also teaching him what he knew about the world and his work. He treated the omega as an equal but was still very overprotective of him when they went out together. Bee grew up to be a talented and intelligent young man and he loved to show off in front of the customers. Fortunately, most didn't care that the boy was an omega and even enjoyed engaging in conversations with him while PH was repairing their stuff or themselves. However, whenever someone asked about their relationship, the cyborg replied by saying that Bee was only his maid. They tried to make it believable by Bee was always serving drinks and snacks to PH's customers when they were visiting. He knew how the world out there treated omegas and this was his way of protecting the child and being able to keep him by his side. He was scared if he would reveal the truth that someone would take Bee from him. Also, telling customers that Bee was working for him and therefore more or less his “property”, it prevented most of them from making inappropriate advances towards him or touching him inappropriately.

#oc #gay oc #male oc #pansexual oc #pan oc #cyborg oc #robot oc

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mcgrillzdumpinc · 6 years

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It Will Heal - chapter 14b

Second half of chapter 14!!! I'll be adding this back to ch. 14 in a week. I'm so sorry for my absence. i promise i haven't lost interest in this fic (the exact opposite, really), but I've been going through a lot lately. But I really will try to get this story back on a regular update schedule. We'll see where it goes.

ao3 link

Sleep enjoyed eluding him. Always at the worst of times. It didn’t help that the crow’s nest was not nearly large enough to fit his body. He could sit in it just fine, but lying down was another matter entirely. His lower back ached at how he was curled up, yet he had no choice but to pull his knees closer to his body as the night’s wind blanketed him with cold air. He had experienced much worse chills, so this was not enough to make him give up, but it was certainly enough to make sleep undesirable. Just to make matters worse, there was the damn moon. White, shining blue, and in his eyes. Part of its right side was consumed in black shadow, like a closed-mouth smile. It taunted him. Jae-ha found himself staring it down as the night passed.

Jae-ha wasn’t sure when he did finally fall asleep, but he did know when he woke up. Right at the beginning of dawn, when the moon was out of sight and a thick sliver of dark orange was seeping into the dark-blue of the sky. Everything in Jae-ha’s sight was tinted a faint grey.

But the encroaching sun was not what woke him. No, it was the most handsome man Jae-ha had ever laid eyes on. Black hair, brown eyes to match brown skin, and clothed in rich blues. Min-ki. He stood just outside the crow’s nest, presumably standing on the net that all the other crewmembers used to climb up.

“Oh, there you are,” Min-ki greeted. “We’ve been looking for you all night.”

Jae-ha closed his eyes. He was too tired to deal with this. “Congrats. You can sleep now.”

He heard Min-ki sigh and pretended his shoulders didn’t tense at the sound. “We were worried sick. Captain almost collapsed while we were searching.”

Jae-ha sat up at that, eyes wide open. “Is she okay?”

Min-ki offered him a lovely smile. “Of course she is. She’s just old, so she can’t stay out as long as us. We made her go to bed.”

Jae-ha pulled his knees to his chest. Min-ki took it as an invitation to step into the crow’s nest. Thankfully, he didn’t try to squeeze in next to Jae-ha. Instead, he kept his distance, sitting on the edge of the crow’s nest, one hand gripping the mast.

“She doesn’t know why you ran,” Min-ki said after long moments of silence.

Jae-ha buried his face between his knees.

“I didn’t want to tell her,” Min-ki continued. He gazed steadily at his feet. “I’m sure she already knows, um… who you are, but it’s your job to talk about your, uh, problems. Not mine. And it’s Seok-hee’s job to be a man for once and face how he harmed you.”

Except he didn’t want to talk. All it did was hurt. It was an ache—deep, timeless, and searing. He had only told Gigan, because he had been weak and she had yet to turn him away. But she didn’t need to know everything.

“Mmhm… Seok-hee’s not too bruised up, either—” Min-ki kept talking, “—his cheek is swollen, that’s all. You’re terrible at punching.” Min-ki laughed meekly.

Seok-hee’s status fell on indifferent ears. The man could have been torn apart by crows, for all Jae-ha cared. But, still, he guessed it was good to hear that Seok-hee wasn’t beaten into a bloody pulp like Bo-young had been at the beginning of this whole mess.

More moments passed. Min-ki tapped his left index finger in a hurried rhythm against the wood of the crow’s nest. Min-ki also bit on his lower lip, face scrunched up as though his head was about to burst. It wasn’t until the noise and that dumb look became too annoying that Jae-ha spoke up.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

Min-ki exhaled loudly, doubling over with the release. “Finally, you talk! I was so worried I had made you angry.”

Jae-ha almost decided to go silent again, just to spite him. But there was a peculiar gleam in Min-ki’s eyes, something that Jae-ha knew didn’t belong there. He decided to ask, “Why would I be angry?”

Min-ki sighed again, scratching his head. “I don’t know. I’ve always been terrible at comforting people.”

Jae-ha turned his head towards Min-ki, resting his cheek against his knees. “Well, this is the most I’ve ever heard you talk.”

Min-ki laughed heartily at that. “I’ve never been good at talking.”

“No wonder you’re always with Byung-ho, then,” Jae-ha replied.

Min-ki nodded. “Yeah, Byung-ho is great. He knows people, way better than me. I’m glad I found you, but I guess it would’ve been better if Byung-ho was here instead.”

“No, I don’t mind you being here,” Jae-ha told him. “You’re more attractive.”

Min-ki was silent for a brief moment before snorting. “Didn’t know you even cared about that kind of stuff. Guess Captain’s been rubbing off on you.”

“What does that mean?” Jae-ha asked. “Captain doesn’t rub off anything on me.”

“…Wow. Wherever you came from, they weren’t good to you, were they?” Min-ki mumbled. “It means that she’s been influencing you. It’s good.”

“It is?”

Min-ki nodded. “Captain is a great person. Now that I think of it, you’ve changed for the better.”

“I have?”

Min-ki smiled, so heart-meltingly sweet. “Yeah. I’m no Byung-ho, but I’m observant. You’re still as sullen as ever, but you’re different. You aren’t as nervous around everyone like you were when you first came to work with us. I bet if you were still the old you, you would’ve run away the second I found you. Oh, and you smile more often, too. It’s sad sometimes, sure, but more often than not, you seem…uh, content, I guess. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Jae-ha didn’t respond, too intrigued by these revelations.

Min-ki took in a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. “Basically, I’m trying to tell you that you’re happier, Jae-ha. You’ve healed. Not enough, of course, but…” He fixed his gaze with Jae-ha’s. “…The kid we pulled out of the ocean didn’t look like he could survive. When Captain ordered us to search for a soaking wet, green-haired brat, I thought for certain we would find him dead someday. We would start a search for his slavers, and he would end up just like all the other runaways. Suicide, kidnapped, murdered, or dead by his injuries… But then you came back. Scared out of your mind, but willing to put up a fight, unlike all the ones before you. And as time passed, I began seeing you. The real you, the person underneath your scars. I don’t what it is about you, Jae-ha, but something tells me you’re going to be someone magnificent. ”

Something welled up within Jae-ha’s chest, strong, warm, and poignant. He desperately rubbed at his eyes, drying up the tears as they emerged. There was no way in hell he was going to let Min-ki see him cry.

But, of course, the handsome jerk just had to laugh, letting Jae-ha know that he definitely had seen. Jae-ha brought his arm down to glare and make Min-ki swear not to tell anyone, when they heard someone call Min-ki’s name.

They both looked over the crow’s nest. The morning sun illuminated the crew on the deck, and Jae-ha could clearly see Gigan, standing in front of the netting Min-ki had climbed up on. A moment passed before Gigan seemed to see something and started scaling the net.

“Oh, don’t come up!” Min-ki immediately hollered. “We’re coming down now!” He looked at Jae-ha, eyebrows uncharacteristically furrowed. “She’s worried sick. Don’t make her wait any longer,” he warned before beginning his slow descent down the net. Jae-ha stood up, surveyed the deck for a clear landing spot, and jumped—

(“You’re not human, are you, Jae-ha?”)

—but he stopped himself. In the time he had left in Awa, he had to be better at hiding. Too many people knew.

So he climbed down, just like Min-ki.

When he reached the ground, Gigan was already engaged in conversation. They spoke in hurried whispers, Gigan’s expression taut. The rest of the crew was going about their daily business, some men retrieving fishing nets while others were opening the sails. The only other person standing still was Byung-ho, who remained on the plank, back turned to Jae-ha.

Seok-hee was nowhere to be found.

Gigan and Min-ki finished their conversation, and she passed her kiseru to him. She then strode towards Jae-ha. He took a step back, ready to dodge any punishment she had ready for him. Yet, instead, he found himself enveloped by her, one arm carefully wrapped around his shoulders while her free hand was entangled in his hair.

“Where the hell were you?” Gigan hissed.

Jae-ha took a deep breath, hoping he wasn’t shaking. “I, uh… I had to think about s-some stuff. Sorry.”

Gigan released him, but kept a hand on his good shoulder. “With the way the boys were acting, I thought you had been attacked. What happened?”

Jae-ha avoided her eyes. “I-I’ll tell you later, okay? Not here.” He shrugged off her hand. “Captain, I have a request.”

Gigan sighed. “What is it?”

“I’d like to talk to Chan-mi.”

Near the entrance to the town, there was a small shack, built by travelers who couldn’t afford a room at an inn. Chan-mi was being kept there, in the tiny shack, tied to a chair by her waist and ankles. In the dim light offered by the morning sun and a single candle, Jae-ha could see all the damage her endeavors had brought upon her. A few blotches of dried blood dotted her robe, her cheeks were bruised, and her greasy hair fell over face like a tattered veil.

“I was wondering if you’d ever come talk to me,” she said when he entered the shack. Her attention shifted to Min-ki, who stood behind Jae-ha. “Pretty boy,” she said to him, “I’m thirsty.”

Min-ki shook his head. “I’m not leaving you two alone.”

“It’s okay,” Jae-ha said, stepping away from Min-ki. “I can handle myself.”

Min-ki stared at him. Jae-ha forced himself to meet his gaze. After a long while, Min-ki sighed and relented. “I’ll be back soon,” he promised before turning around.

As soon as Min-ki left, Chan-mi resolutely told Jae-ha, “You look like shit.”

“You’re not much better,” Jae-ha retorted as he sat down.

“Still…” Chan-mi replied, scratching the back of her head. Although her hands were free, Jae-ha could see tread marks left by rope on her wrist. “It’s been over a week since that little scuffle. I figured you’d be resting. The hell happened to you?”

“I couldn’t sleep last night,” he answered. “That’s all.”

“Gods, you’re a terrible liar,” Chan-mi said, laughing bitterly. “Well, whatever, it’s none of my business. Let’s just hurry and get this over with.”

“I hear you’re not answering anyone’s questions,” Jae-ha began.

“And I hear you almost lost your arm because of me,” Chan-mi immediately quipped. “But that’s old news, too. So, nothing to talk about. Go ahead and go home.”

“…When did you get those bruises on your cheeks?” Jae-ha asked instead.

Chan-mi laughed lamely at the question, the hint of a quiver on her bottom lip. “Someone got impatient with me. Gigan probably told him to rough me up.”

“She wouldn’t do that!” Jae-ha quickly defended.

“Oh? Do you know that for certain?” Chan-mi asked, smiling impertinently. “Then were you the one who told him to punch me?”

“I had no idea you were even here,” he told her.

The two of them lapsed into silence. Jae-ha grumbled. This was harder than he thought it would be.

“Aww, are you angry I’m not playing along?” Chan-mi teased.

“Why aren’t you?” Jae-ha quickly rejoined. “I’m sure that once you answer, they’ll stop holding you here.”

Chan-mi frowned, eyes narrow and teeth bare. It was ugly and familiar. Before Jae-ha knew it, his back was against the doorframe, and he swore her hair in the sunlight glowed an ethereal green. Chan-mi’s expression melted into something neutral and unfamiliar, and the green disappeared.

Chan-mi mumbled something incoherent. She was angry. About what, though, he couldn’t figure out. Eventually, she spoke up. “The place I’ll go after this won’t be any better.”

Jae-ha drew his knees up to his chest, arms wrapped around his shins. “What do you mean?”

With the tips of her fingers, she rubbed the right side of her abdomen. “Jail, of course. It’s the only place Gigan would send me. She could kill me, of course, but… She’s a weak woman. She’ll never murder. She’ll just put that duty on total strangers.”

Jae-ha opened his mouth to demand an explanation, but Chan-mi continued on, no need for prompting. “The guards here in Awa. Drunkards and braggarts, the lot of them. If I say a word to you, or Gigan, or anyone else… I’ll die. They’ll hang me. It’s the only punishment for criminals.”

Jae-ha’s heart sunk. Death? That was too cruel, even for the likes of Chan-mi.

“I’ll…!” Jae-ha shouted before he could think better of it. “I’ll plead your case! We—we can send you elsewhere!” On his hands and knees, he crawled towards her. “We’ll clean up your crimes and you won’t have to die!”

She stared down at him, eyes wide, mouth open, arms crossed. “You…” she whispered, then laughed softly. “How did you manage to become so kind?” She reached towards him and ruffled his hair. He moved away from her as soon as she removed her hand. “Ah, if only I was born thirty years later, maybe I wouldn’t have been so miserable.”

Jae-ha stood up. “What do you mean?” he asked.

She smiled ruefully. “I was born in the land of Xing. Before the war, there were always skirmishes between Kouka and Xing—soldiers crossing the border illegally, arguments over trade routes, things like that. My family was far from the border, so we never really worried about getting caught in the crossfire. But, one day, men in Kouka armor came to our small town—” A coldness settled over her eyes, “—and took me. Killed my brother before my eyes, separated me and my sisters. I haven’t seen my family since. I ended up here in Awa, where I was saved.” A fragile smile grew on her lips, her eyes still cold. “Jun-hwan, Gigan’s husband. He and his men beat those slave-traders within an inch of their lives, and I was safe to go back home.”

“Why didn’t you?” Jae-ha urged her to continue.

Her face returned to a neutral state. “There was nothing to return to. Who knows what those slave-traders did to my town and my family? I didn’t want to face that alone. I wanted to find my sisters. So, I stayed here. I built connections with the help of my body and I followed the trail of the slave-traders. I was so close to finding my eldest sister when—” She released a shuddering breath, “—when a darkness came over Awa. Men pretending to be Koukan soldiers came to Awa and forced their wares to be sold all over town. I ignored it. But then my regular customers started having fits that were only calmed by some powder they would put in their drinks. And then it wasn’t just my customers, it was my co-workers and my neighbors.

“I went to Jun-hwan. He always claimed to be just a regular merchant, but as soon as I told him my concerns, he promised me that he and his wife would help. I don’t know everything that happened after that. What I do know, though, is that a few weeks later, I went to visit him at his stall and… and it was destroyed. The next day, I heard that he had died during the attack on his stall. The people who had seen it had been too scared to step in, and Gigan hadn’t been there. She should’ve been there, someone should’ve protected him. Gigan kicked out the pretend-soldiers and took the drug off the streets, but it wasn’t enough to make up for what she did.”

Chan-mi hung her head. Jae-ha had no idea how to respond, so he just stood there, staring at the woman, tied up and living purely on a mistaken vendetta.

“She really should’ve just killed them, don’t you think?” Chan-mi suddenly whispered. “She could’ve made an example of those bastards, so no one else would come in and try to take over.”

With her words, Jae-ha remembered what Gigan had told him—that Chan-mi had bought dong quai to poison the gang she had been the leader of. “So that’s what you were going to do with those men? Make an example of them?”

Chan-mi sighed. “That’s right, kid. You’re smarter than I thought.”

“But why? You brought Lao to Awa, let those men beat up Bo-young, and you were just going to kill them in the end?”

“Don’t make me take back the compliment,” Chan-mi grumbled. “Think about it.”

Jae-ha crouched, racking his mind for answers. But nothing came up, nothing that made sense. Eventually, Chan-mi groaned and took pity on him.

“Here’s a hint,” she said, “those thieves weren’t my men. I never ordered them to attack Bo-young.”

“Then why were you with them when we went to capture you?” Jae-ha asked.

Chan-mi rolled her eyes. “We were going to make a compromise. They wanted in on the Lao trade.”

Something occurred to Jae-ha. “Wait…” It was just a hunch, but it was the first thing that made any sense to him in this whole debacle. “The Lao, is it the same drug the led to Jun-hwan’s death?”

Chan-mi’s lips contorted into a thin, misshapen line. She nodded.

“Did you bring it back to make Gigan angry?”

Chan-mi shook her head.

“Did it ever really leave Awa after Jun-hwan’s death?”

Chan-mi shook her head.

“So, you revived it…and the thieves wanted in on the trade, so they attacked someone who was selling Lao, and that person just happened to be Bo-young?”

Chan-mi nodded.

“You decided to bring them together to make a compromise, but you were planning on poisoning them with the dong quai, so you could make an example out of them… But why? Is there something you’re trying to drive off?”

Chan-mi nodded. Then she told him the reason behind the entire mess— “A warlord is interested in Awa. If I stake a claim with Lao, then it’s less likely that he’ll come here. It’s the only way I could protect this city.”

Jae-ha sat down, legs trembling as he brought them to his chest. “So everything that happened, is because of a warlord?” His injuries, the revelation of his secret, the loss of safety in the first place to bring him happiness… All because of someone whose name and face Jae-ha couldn’t possibly know. “I should’ve left this city while I could…”

“Eh? I thought this was your home,” Chan-mi replied. Jae-ha looked up at her, meeting her eyes. “You’ve certainly protected it as if it were your home.”

Maintaining eye contact, Jae-ha answered as best he could. “It’s frustrating… I think I would like to make this my home. But everytime I think it’s okay for me to stay, something happens, and I realize I have to run away.”

Chan-mi scoffed. “You know, after everything I had to go through because of you, I find it hard to believe that you’re such a coward. You want to protect this place, don’t you? Then stop running.”

Jae-ha tightened his lips. She was right. It was so obvious that she was right. He stood up again. There were things he had to take care of. “I’ll go talk to Gigan for you now,” he told her before leaving.

Min-ki was standing outside the shack, leaning against a log wall adjacent to the door. In his hands was a bowl of water. He and Jae-ha shared a glance but said no words as they switched places, Jae-ha outside the shack with Min-ki inside, dealing with Chan-mi.

Gigan wasn’t waiting for him when he returned to her house. The day was still young—most likely, she was out making her rounds, delivering the day’s pay to her crewmembers. He pretended it didn’t bother him.

“She’ll be here later,” he whispered to himself. He would have to steel himself without her, and that was fine. He had been up against worse long before she came into his life.

After applying the face whitener to his skin and salve to his injuries, he began his journey. From behind Gigan’s house, where nobody could see him in the narrow alleyway, he jumped to the rooftops. It was faster than walking and so, so much nicer. Nothing could compare to the sea breeze skimming along his face, tracing every detail of his countenance. It was the freedom he had longer for, the power he had been cursed with, and the reminder that not everything was terrible. He would have tried to catch a few birds, too, if he weren’t on a quest.

Unsurprisingly, his target was difficult to find. The man, despite his strange appearance, blended in well with crowds. But, eventually, he caught sight of him. The man was standing completely still in the middle of a bustling swarm of people, ignoring merchants that shouted his name, telling the damn thief to leave before they told the authorities or, even worse, Gigan.

Jae-ha landed on a rooftop and slid down into an alleyway. Forcing his legs not to shake, he ran forward, grabbed Seok-hee by the wrist, and dragged him away from the crowd. For his credit, Seok-hee did not fight at all and, at a point, decided to lead the way. They walked until they were far, far away from the noise of the marketplace.

Seok-hee turned to face Jae-ha. Oddly enough, he did not say anything. Rather, he just stared, his expression completely unreadable. Even stranger was the way he stood. It was as though life had abandoned the thief. His shoulders were relaxed, his hands hovered at his thighs, and his breathing was slow. It would take Jae-ha many, many years to realize, at that moment in time, Seok-hee had given in and had been awaiting retribution.

“I’m going to stay here!” Jae-ha shouted, hands clenched. “And there’s nothing you can do to change that!”

“I see,” Seok-hee replied. “I’m glad to hear that, Jae-ha.”

Jae-ha blinked. This was not what he had been anticipating. “What?”

The ghost of a smile appeared on his lips. “I’m sorry, Jae-ha, for what I said. And I’m sorry it took so much for me to realize how terribly wrong I’ve been for a long, long time.”

In an instant, he was furious. Hands balled in fists, teeth clenched, Jae-ha wanted nothing more than to hurt this asshole again. “What are you talking about? Why now?!” But as he talked, instead of anger came the warm sensation of tears down his cheeks. “You… do you know what you did to me?!” Jae-ha’s knees begged for collapse, but he remained standing, eyes fixed on his lifeless opponent.

Seok-hee took a moment before responding. “I—I don’t.” He rubbed his brow. “But after I heard your side, I, I remembered something. During the two weeks you were gone, everytime someone asked about you on the ship, Captain would smile. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen her so happy before. Captain gave me a second chance… so I should do the same for you.” Jae-ha attempted to interject then, but Seok-hee kept talking. “I’m leaving Awa, Jae-ha. I think I will try going to the Wind Tribe. Nobody will know me there, and I’ll be far away from my past. I really hope you will stay here, Jae-ha. Captain needs you.”

With that, Seok-hee turned around and left. With that, Jae-ha collapsed and screamed.

“I hate you! Don’t you ever come back!”

Author’s note: The Lao arc is finally over!!!!!! It took a l o t longer than I expected, so we'll be seeing some time skips in the next chapter, so I don't end up wasting too much time getting to the end of the story. As always, comments & critiques are super appreciated!

#akatsuki no yona #story: it will heal #sometimes i write

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ajuimaginary · 7 years

Text

Anon requested competitive!Minghao where you get into a contest and you're kind of mean to each other during because you want to win, but you end up really respecting each other.

You were friends with Mingyu first, and now you’re friends with the rest of Seventeen through his introduction. You love them all, but the boy who seems to impact you most strongly is a certainly lanky member of the performance team. The one who takes any chance to dab, make a biting hilarious comment, or quickly reassure a sad friend in his no-nonsense voice. The one who is an intriguing balance of cool and cute. With perfect arms and a smile to die for. But also the most infuriating person you had ever met. Minghao.

You find your thoughts drifting to him even now, as you walk into the dorms with Mingyu. Your eyes linger on a familiar jacket hanging on a hook, and you remembered how unfairly good it looks on its owner. You almost want to try it on just to prove you would look better. Mingyu laughs.

“Oh god, you’re so obvious.” he says.

“What?” you snap at him. “I’m not obvious about anything because there’s nothing to be obvious about.”

“That made no sense,” Mingyu tells you. “And besides, I think I can recognize when my two best friends are getting the hots for each other.”

You scrunch your nose up. “Gross, Mingyu, why’d you have to word it like that?”

“Hey, you don’t even deny it!” Mingyu yells excitedly.

“Shut up. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” you tell him. “Minghao’s dead annoying. Now come on, let’s go join the guys.”

“Yeah,” Mingyu agrees. “Let’s go join Minghao.”

You aim a punch at his arm but he ducks ahead of you down the corridor to lead the way, so you follow without hitting him instead. Up ahead, you hear a sudden voice echo down the hall and a chorus of “ooooh”s from inside the room.

“Don’t let Y/N hear you say that!” Seungcheol is scolding someone.

You push past Mingyu quickly when you hear your name, though he tries to grab you and hold you back from interrupting. You open the door to the room the voices are coming from. The boys inside turn in shock to look at you: Woozi, Seungcheol, Wonwoo, and Jun all seated. Minghao is standing, hands on hips, in front of the TV screen.

“Don’t let me hear what?” you ask threateningly, directing the question at Seungcheol, who looks rather afraid despite his title as the group’s fearless leader.

“Oh, hi, Y/N, I didn’t know you’d be here already,” he says hesitantly.

“What can’t he say in front of me?” you demand, looking between them all.

Wonwoo and Jun snicker to each other, and Woozi sighs as if he’s giving something up.

“May as well let them have it, Coups hyung.” he says heavily, dropping something onto the table that you realize is his hand held controller for video games. “We have to accept our fate now. She’s already heard, and so now he has to tell her the idea, and so she’ll definitely accept the challenge. We won’t get the game back till they’ve settled this.”

“Yes, thank you hyung!” Minghao beams when he gets Woozi’s support, however grudging it is, and then turns to Seungcheol. “Please pass me the other controller!”

Seungcheol sighs and throws it at him grumpily. He gestures for you to take Woozi’s, and you make your way to the couch and sit between them with your new device in your hand, looking up at Minghao.

“What are we doing?” you say.

“Playing some video game they like. I’ve been watching them fail all afternoon waiting my turn to take over. They said it was unfair for me to join them because I’d never played before and would be at a disadvantage, and I was just telling them I could beat them at this level even with no experience.” he says. “But they wanted me to wait for another first time player.”

“Yeah, and I suggested he play against you.” Wonwoo said, the glint in his eye he got when he was stirring up trouble and very amused by what was happening.

Minghao nods his agreement.

“And I said I would beat you easily.” he says with a shrug.

Your eyes narrow. You look up the TV, checking out the picture and deducing that it must be some sort of basic fighting game. You aren’t always in the mood for video games, but you won’t back down from that kind of challenge.

“As if.” you scoff.

Everyone else in the room groans.

“And there we go.” Mingyu sighs from the doorway. “They’ll be at it all afternoon. Anyone want to make snacks with me?”

“Nah,” Wonwoo says, eyes sparkling. “This’ll be fun to watch.”

You’ve yelled at Minghao at least three times already, and he’s in the middle of his second time yelling at you. Apparently it’s considered “cheating” if you elbow Woozi hard enough to make Woozi jump and jostle Minghao’s controller. You’re pretty sure it’s just called “winning.” You sneer and tell him if he can’t handle a little bump maybe she shouldn’t have challenged you.

As your voices get louder, Woozi and Seungcheol both move off the couch and join Jun and Wonwoo in their spots out of the way. You can hear them whispering to each other but all you care about right now is beating the crap out of Minghao’s dumb video game counterpart.

It’s surprising how quickly you both became absorbed in the game. Though you’ve never played before, it only took a brief run through of all the controls and the story line, and you got the hang of it quickly. Now it feels like winning is the only thing that matters. It’s exhilarating. Especially as you take a particularly good flying leap and watch your character knock several of the automated computer guards to the ground as you get closer to Minghao’s base. The sounds of the boys cheering for you is quite a rush. But not as much of a rush as the glance you steal at Minghao.

He looks worried that you might be gaining the upper hand. His face is very focused, bare arms tensed as his long fingers fly over the controls, and his lovely lips are slightly pursed.

“Thanks for picking the bright red cloak for your character, you show off.” you tease him, but your voice sounds very serious because you’re so engaged in the game. “Makes it much easier to- HUH - to find you and kick your ass!”

“You’re lucky you have that advantage,” Minghao spits, leaning right back in that seat along with the movements of his on screen character. “Because without it you would be left in my wake as I - YAH!”

His whole body surges forward as his character knocks into yours onscreen and you both tumble further from the base he’s trying to protect.

You grit your teeth and put your energy back into your next move. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Mingyu returning with food and handing it to some of the other boys. Wonwoo begins to update him on what he missed. You can see your favorite snack among the pile he brought with him.

“So easily distracted,” Minghao tuts, though you barely lost focus, but he uses the advantage to push past you and begin directing his character along the pixel path to your own home base.

“Asshole,” you hiss, leaning forward in your seat and you force your character to run after him. “I bet you’re hungry too.”

“Never.” he says with a smirk, clearly ready to deliver some dramatic line. “My mental willpower is as strong as my body.”

You scoff openly at him.

“What are you talking about, beanpole?” you say, ignoring his flexing bicep right beside you. “What strong body?”

“Guys, don’t get mean,” Seungcheol warns quietly, as if he’s never gotten carried away by a competitive spirit before. Minghao doesn’t seem bothered by your comment though. In fact, you’re pretty sure he’s smiling. Not that you can risk the distraction of looking right now.

“Easy to criticize what you don’t understand.” Minghao says. “It’s not like you’re the strongest person here, Y/N...”

On screen, your character jumps down to block his path, and as he swears, you reply to his comment.

“I am very willing to arm wrestle everyone in this room later to prove that wrong. But anyway, I don’t need strength,” you point out. “When my opponent is such a fucking idiot.”

“Seriously!” Seungcheol says pleadingly. “Just be nice to each other.”

“They could get worse.” Wonwoo points out, sounding like he wants you to for the entertainment. Mingyu elbows him.

“Don’t encourage them.” he scolds.

But before long you and Minghao are shooting out insults as fast as they occur to you, and the game is getting genuinely frustrating. Every time one of you seems to be gaining, the other somehow manages to turn things around. Before long, you’ve killed off every single computer generated guard and it’s just down to the two of you to take the final step in destroying your opponent’s base. And, apparently, their self esteem.

Minghao’s insults are hilarious and creative though, and you know he’s appreciating yours. Seungcheol gives up on trying to stop you and sighs to the others that you’re both totally weird if you enjoy this sort of thing.

“I’m surprised neither of them have thought of the best way to distract one another though,” Jun says.

Minghao and you both twitch half toward him at his fascinating tone of voice, but you manage to keep your eyes on the game.

“What do you mean?” Mingyu asks.

There’s a long moment of silence, and then Woozi says. “Are we allowed to point that out? I thought it was one of those unspoken things?”

“What’s an unspoken thing?” you ask them, unable to help yourself.

“Minghao thinks you’re hot, right?” Jun says.

You almost lose focus completely. It’s Minghao who really does. He freezes up for just long enough for your character to take a flying kick, knocking his to the ground and bolting the last distance into his base. Your cheeks are warm now, but you keep going, trying to ignore what you heard until you have time to dwell on it properly. Minghao begins swearing, yells something furious at Jun in Chinese, and forces his character to chase you.

But he’s too late. Finally you slam into the back wall of his base, touch the end spot, and win the entire game.

“Fuck, yes!” you yell, leaping into the air and throwing your controller. The other boys leap to their feet with cheers, and Mingyu and Jun both hug you as the others laugh and yell you behind you.

“Damn,” Woozi mumbles. “She beat my total kills record. It’ll take me days to get my place back on the score board.”

And as everyone begins to laugh at him, you finally turn and see Minghao, wondering if after such a heated game he’ll be angry. But as always, he’s not a sore loser. He looks a little upset, brow furrowed, but he dumps his controller on the couch and stands to face you, dipping his head in a sweet little bow.

“You did really well,” he tells you.

The sight of him there, so willingly admitting his respect of you, makes your heart hammer a little faster. You feel full of adrenaline, and you manage to smile with confidence at him.

“Is that all I get for my victory?” you say.

Minghao looks up at you, lips parted in surprise, very sweet. And then he seems to catch your meaning, and the look changes into a smirk.

“What else do you want?” he asks.

“I think we’re the only competitive equals for each other, so, um, why don’t you let me know if you kiss as well as I imagine you do?”

The room falls into stunned silence. You had forgotten, actually, that anyone else was there. But you don’t have much time to get embarrassed.

Minghao steps forward into your space instantly and, hands on your waist, kisses you right there in front of them all, a deep tender moment of pure passion that makes you gasp, and then his lips are gone. He smirks down at you.

“What do you think?”

“You win that one,” you breathe. “Not even my imagination could live up to that.”

Minghao beams the cutest eye scrunching smile you’ve ever seen, and you feel like everything right is falling into place. The other boys begin making gagging noises in the background, and Mingyu slaps a hand over his face.

“You guys have the weirdest courtship rituals I’ve ever seen,” he grumbles.

#the8 #the8 scenarios #the8 imagines #seventeen scenarios #the8 x reader #minghao #request #admin may

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awkwardnessandbaseball · 7 years

Text

IT’S OFFICIAL

I’m finally on AO3 and can finally post my work there!

Not Enough? You Are...Everything A look inside Jim Halpert's mind as he pines over, misses, dates, and eventually marries Pam Beesly. A mostly canon re-telling of the full series through Jim's eyes (with certain snippets through Pam's eyes as well)

Here is an updated list of links:

AO3|FF|MTT

PLEASE read, review, comment, etc.

I’ll also post Chapter One (Season One) under the cut.

Also, please comment here or on any of the sites linked above with any additional scenes or full episodes you’d like to see done this way. I would love to do any Jim/Pam scenes from someone else’s POV, or really any scene at all from the POV of any character! This story was REALLY fun for me to do :)

Jim had never intended to fall in love with the girl who sat across from him every day. He had never intended to date anyone from work, so when he found himself with a crush on a girl he had no choice but to stare at for a good portion of the day, he was almost grateful she was engaged.

Almost.

"So, are you going to Angela's cat party?" she's asking him, and he laughs because the idea of a cat party is absurd, but also because he always laughs when he talks to her. Everything seems funny when she says it, and he's fairly certain he's never laughed so much in his life as he does from that spot at reception, with his hands hanging over the desk, almost touching hers.

And when Dwight pulls out the Jell-O encased stapler and she laughs like that, it's almost more than his heart can take. If she didn't laugh like that - a hiccup-y laugh that means he knows he's caught her off guard, done something extraordinary - he might have stopped pranking Dwight ages ago. But if it makes her laugh, he'll keep doing it forever. He loves her laugh.

Shit. Jim is in trouble, because he is in deep. And he is in deep over a committed woman. And God, he'd never want her heart broken the way it would be if Roy left her, but he also knows that a jerk like Roy definitely doesn't deserve a girl like Pam. He knows it's dangerous to put a woman on a pedestal like that, but he also knows that Roy is literally The Worst ™ .

Well, except for maybe Dwight. But that's a whole different story.

But really, he knows Roy keeps her from socializing with her co-workers - and yeah, okay, maybe he's being a little selfish and obvious there, wanting her to go out for drinks and then bailing when Roy says she can't go, but he DOES like spending time with...some of the people from the office. He knows Roy doesn't appreciate her art - which is REALLY good, by the way. And if he doesn't appreciate her art, does he really appreciate her?

Okay, that's a stretch and he knows it. But he still wonders.

He tries to make conversation with Roy, tries to see what she sees in him. Maybe if he could make himself like Roy, he could make himself stop loving her. But Roy is not as chatty, not as bright and bubbly and friendly as Pam. And Roy does not want to talk to Jim. Ever.

And when Jim sees Pam leave the bathroom, clearly trying to hide the fact that she's been crying, he immediately wants to comfort her. He wants to go to her, hug her, tell her whatever happened, it's going to be okay. A tiny part of him hopes that it's about Roy, but that's stupid because he knows Roy is waiting for her outside in that dumpy old truck, that nothing between them could have possibly transpired in the last 10 minutes or so. Right?

But either way, the urge to comfort her is so strong, but he knows that's inappropriate. So instead he just casually asks her about her headache, and she awkwardly asks if he wants to walk out with her, and he's about to grab his coat and really try to savor these few moments completely alone with her…when a truck honks and suddenly she's back to reality, back to her fiance. And Jim is back to being alone, watching the girl he's in love with leave to go home with the man she's in love with - the one who isn't him.

He has learned, over time, to cherish the small moments. The moments when the office is bustling and he and Pam both have nothing to do but observe the madness. The times when he can stand at reception and laugh at Dwight's antics or Stanley's unforgiving attitude. He dangles his hands over the desk, inches away from her fingers, daring himself to grab her hand with his own. He never does, but God does he want to.

It's strange to see another face at the desk when Ryan takes over reception during the horrible, awkward Diversity Day antics. Jim walks over out of habit, feeling awkward once he arrives. He makes conversation with Ryan to ease the strange tension he's feeling. He's barely listening to what Ryan is saying, but then something grabs his attention.

"She's cute, right?"

Cute? Cute doesn't begin to cover Pam Beesly. Pam is wonderful and smart, kind, open, and friendly. Pam is talented and-

"Yeah, but, y'know, she's engaged."

He tries to play it cool, but inside he is screaming. Now the temp is interested in her, too? He knows she'd never go for Ryan, but then again, he certainly didn't see her with a guy like Roy when he found out she was-

"Oh I meant the...the girl in the sketch."

….oh. And Jim can breathe again. He mumbles something about her being hot and pretends to watch whatever Ryan has on the screen. He's already forgotten, more focused on the fact that he needs to stop being jealous over a girl that isn't even his.

Later, he sneaks back into the conference room, feeling defeated over the loss of his biggest client - to Dwight of all people - and breathes a small sigh of relief that the seat next to Pam is still open. It's a small thing, being able to sit next to her. But in another life, she'd comfort him after his rough day, tell him he could go out and get an even bigger client tomorrow. He's imagining this, not listening to a word Michael is saying, when he feels a soft pressure on his shoulder. He turns, and sees her curls very close to his face. He can smell her shampoo. She's leaning on him. She's fallen asleep on his shoulder.

And now he's seeing them curled up on the couch, watching a movie. Seeing a life where Pam falls asleep on his shoulder all the time - she seems the type to fall asleep and then wake up and ask when they're going to bed. And he's hearing her voice, sleepy and wistful, and he's carrying her upstairs-

And suddenly everyone is leaving the conference room. And he waits, cherishing this moment, trying to get back to his imagined reality before the real world comes crashing down around him. He smiles as he wakes her. He whispers softly to her, the same way he imagines he'd wake her up if she had fallen asleep on the couch. She wakes up and walks out of the room with barely a word.

It's the first time he's ever sad to see the end of a Michael Meeting.

"Uhhhhh, not a bad day," he tells the crew. The champagne celebration long forgotten, he knows he's going to remember this day for a long time.

It actually kind of amazes Jim sometimes that no one has called him out for his time at reception. He tries to do it subtly, casually, when no one is really looking that way, but then someone interrupts them and he feels caught, cornered. Even if the conversation is innocent and casual, he feels like he should be in trouble for being at reception, talking to Pam.

He also finds it hard to hide his annoyance at the constant interruptions. He knows it's wrong to be annoyed, because really, he's not supposed to be there anyway - for a multitude of reasons - but he can't help but roll his eyes when Michael interrupts a sentence with some offensive impression or random question for Pam.

But when Michael interrupts one of his favorite moments of the day to ask him to do some menial task, Jim can't help but roll his eyes. He barely listens to whatever it is Michael wants him to do and instead offers an immediate escape route for himself: "Dwight."

He does not, however, anticipate the consequences of his actions. The power that goes to Dwight's head over the smallest task is amazing. He and Pam decide to confront the beast together. They enter his lair - his workspace, if you will - and face him side-by-side. It does not go well.

The good news is that now he has another excuse to talk to Pam as they make up - er, properly notate… - diseases together.

"Don't write Ebola or Mad Cow Disease," he warns her, and he laughs at her surprised face. She thinks he doesn't want her writing anything false, making a joke out of this nonsense Dwight has presented them with? Pshaw, she should know him better. "Because I'm suffering from both," he adds, and she finally laughs, relief evident in her smile. They spend a good chunk of the day - time he should be spending making sales calls - creating fake names.

"Spontaneous Dento-Hydroplosion," he suggests, with a look of confidence. He relishes in the look she gives him in return, clearly impressed with his idea. He sticks that look into the compartment in his brain of Things He Loves About Pam.

Later, another interruption when he is just trying to spend some time with his girl- erm, best friend. This time, from Dwight. He barely listens, but one thing sticks out in the list of false diseases Dwight is reading:

"Killer nano robots?"

"It's an epidemic," Pam responds. And it's his turn to be impressed.

As payback for this interruption - and, of course, for just generally being a jerk to the whole office - he locks Dwight in his workspace. Dwight calls from inside the room and Jim is humoring him until, oh thank God, there she is. The extension number for the reception desk pops up on his phone. And with Dwight yelling in the background, they have a meaningless conversation, where he can picture her face while not even looking at her. And he know it was just a prank on Dwight, that she's just being silly, but he'll always take any excuse to talk to her that he can get his hands on.

Of course, Dwight hands him another "talk to Pam ALL DAY" gift the day he asks for an alliance. The downsizing rumors haven't really bothered Jim all this time. He does his job. He arrives on time, never leaves early. He hardly ever calls off. He tries his best to stay under the radar, not doing so well as to be named Salesman of the Month, ahem, but doing well enough to get by. And he's competent enough that Michael seems to always want to give him all of these tasks, despite the fact that he never wants to take them on.

And maybe, on the off-chance that he did get let go, he could actually move on with his life and stop thinking about the girl at reception that he had to see day in and day out for all these years.

And yet, he spends his time in this alliance with Dwight, talking with that very girl. He has an excuse, as far as Dwight is concerned anyway.

"There may be chatting and giggling and you just gotta pretend to ignore it, wipe it away," he's telling Dwight. And he buys it. So now he can just sit at reception and talk to Pam about absolutely nothing, and someone will back him up if he's ever asked why.

When Jim pranks Dwight alone, it's pretty good. He's come up with some insanely creative ideas, some more subtle than others. But when Jim and Pam combine forces and prank Dwight together, they're unstoppable. By midday, they've got Dwight in a box in the warehouse, listening to pretend phone calls that Pam is making about the downsizing.

They work so well together, and he can't help but love her even more whenever they do stuff like this together.

"She's...so...great," he hears himself tell the crew during an interview session. At this point, they've all gotta know how he's feeling. Of everyone in this office, that crew has to know. Michael is oblivious to everything, and everyone else there is so absorbed in their own stuff, there's no way they've noticed. They're also nosy - unapologetically so - so if they'd noticed his constant visits to reception, one of them would have questioned him about it ages ago.

But the camera crew, they know. They see the look on his face when she walks in, see the tension whenever Roy comes upstairs. They see everything; it's their job. And maybe it should occur to him that someday, this will all be aired for the entire world to see, but at that point, he'll hopefully be long gone, the girl at reception long forgotten.

His real fantasy, of course, isn't that she's long forgotten, but that they're together. In this imagined future, she leaves Roy, comes to her senses, and he can finally tell her how he feels. He really, truly thinks there are times when she feels something, too. He also knows that she'd never give into any of those feelings while engaged to Roy. She's definitely not that type. And her feelings for Roy are real, he knows that, too. But the feelings she would have for him, he strongly suspects, would be much stronger. He tells himself on a daily basis that it will never happen, but he still holds out just a small shred of hope. Hope that, one day, when the camera crew finishes filming, however far into the future that may be, he'll be watching the final product with Pam by his side, and maybe their kids. Maybe a dog, too.

So he doesn't care when he slips up and says things that expose how he really feels about Pam. Not really.

The excitement of the final nail in the coffin on Dwight's alliance is killed immediately when Roy comes rushing in. Jim really is innocent, just playing a prank on an annoying workmate; he just got overly excited and affectionate with Pam. He'd been grabbing her hand to tell her how excited he was when suddenly the door slammed open and Roy was asking him if he was trying to cop a feel.

He's embarrassed, caught off guard. He's never had such a close call before, in all the times he's stood at that desk, so obviously flirting with her. He tries to explain, but of course Dwight is no help. Roy seems to back off once Pam explains that it's just office pranks.

He really should have been ready for that to happen eventually. But he usually stands on the opposite side of the desk. He's never had anything to worry about before.

But when he thinks of how her shampoo smells, how soft her hands are, he doesn't regret being that close to her. He doesn't, for one moment, wish he'd said his piece from the other side of that desk. Even if she hadn't stopped Roy and he'd come right across that desk and decked him square in the face, he doesn't think he would regret it.

The only reason he thinks twice about it is because Roy practically shoves Pam out the door. He knows Roy doesn't hit her; he knows Pam well enough that he'd be able to tell if something like that was going on, or at least he hopes so. But he does get rough, and Jim doesn't like that.

But, as always, there's nothing Jim can do. He's not her protector. He's just some guy, sitting at a desk, in love with the girl who sits across from him.

The day Michael makes them all bring gym clothes to change into just might be one of the most bizarre since he's started working at Dunder Mifflin. It starts off with Pam making a phone call about a toaster she'd received at her engagement party. Three years ago.

He's not happy that she's upset. He hates that she's upset about anything at all, ever. But he's a little happy that they still haven't set a date. How committed can Roy really be if he doesn't even want to set a date? He doubts Roy will do anything else when it comes to planning, so how hard is it for him to just pick a damn day? But again, Jim is a little happy that Roy is such a flake, just this once. It's bad enough pining after a girl with an engagement ring on her finger, reflecting in the bright fluorescent lights every day, reminding him that she's taken. But adding a wedding ring to that, making her Mrs. Pamela Anderson...well, that would be too much. All jokes about the name aside, it would be too much.

If they ever do set a date, he really might lose his mind, as if he hasn't already.

So, maybe he sounds a little smug when he talks about Pam needing to return something that was an engagement gift. But that's only because he really believes they'll never get married. She'll come to her senses. Even if she doesn't end up with him, she can't end up with a guy like Roy.

She just can't.

He knows it's dumb to be so competitive against Roy in this dumb game of basketball. At least he has the excuse of not wanting to work on Saturday. And honestly, if Roy and Pam hadn't started making out right next to him, maybe he wouldn't have gotten quite so competitive on the court. He tries to get Michael to let him guard Roy, but Michael is being Michael and won't hear it. Which is a shame because he has some choice words ringing in his ears that he'd love to get back at Roy for, suddenly:

"Tip it my way or you're sleeping in the car."

Still, Jim hears Pam's tiny little "Woop!" when he scores. And he loves that she's cheering for him. He loves it more because they both know she shouldn't be. After the close call at the desk, especially. But she cheers him on anyway, and he plays all the better for it. And when Michael finally gives in, lets him guard Roy, he plays better than he has since high school. He's blocking, stealing, shooting, scoring. He knows basketball isn't the way to Pam's heart, but it sure can't hurt to show her that he's better than Roy at something.

When Roy elbows him in the face, he feels like maybe it's karma. Like he deserves it for loving Roy's fiance, for trying to impress her. He keeps playing, but it's with a little less drama, a little less flair. A little less trying to impress Pam.

And he's excited his team wins, disappointed that Michael ruins it by being his usual self and now he'll have to come in on Saturday. But he's mostly excited that he actually is better than Roy at something. He's excited that Pam cheered for him. That she was impressed with more than just his pranks on Dwight. That she smiled at him while he played.

And now he's seeing her at one of his pickup games with his buddies. There's a hoop down the street and sometimes they'll play on an odd weekday holiday when they're all off with no plans. And he's imagining Pam sitting with all of the other wives and girlfriends, rolling their eyes at this group of grown men, playing basketball on their day off. And she's smiling at him in the same way, and they're remembering this moment right now, when he's just wiped the floor with the guy she was supposed to marry. And it's like this little inside joke-

But it's not real. She's really engaged to Roy and she's really leaving with him, talking about getting him into a tub. And Jim is really, really disappointed in that reality.

When a cute girl enters the office a few days later, he shouldn't be at all surprised by the ruckus it causes. He should know by now that anything with a slim figure and nice eyes will get Michael Scott's weirdest side to come out.

Still, he doesn't really see the big deal. She's just a girl. (Of course, he guesses, to some people, Pam is probably just a girl, too).

He wonders if the irony of Roy asking him what his type is will ever be humorous. He wonders if it's a moment he'll look back on and say, "See Pam? See the way I looked at your before I answered? And you didn't even notice!" or if he'll watch that moment alone, or with some other girl, and think about how weird it was for the fiance of the girl he was in love with to ask him what kind of girls he was interested in.

He wonders if he'll ever stop feeling weird about his awkward answer: "Moms."

He doesn't have to wonder if he'll ever stop hating Roy, though. That's a definite yes. Everytime Roy opens his mouth, Jim hates him more and more.

"We're not dating, we're engaged," and she's gone. He feels awful for Pam, truly. He feels awful that she's been with this guy for so long - high school sweethearts? He feels like maybe, just maybe, if she went on just one other date with one other guy, maybe she would realize that Roy isn't normal. Roy isn't the standard for dating. Normal guys, guys who care about the women they're with, don't make comments about other girls in front of them. They set wedding dates soon after proposing and then they stick with those dates. Normal guys, guys who are really in love with the person they're with, want to get married as soon as possible so that the rest of their lives can begin.

Right?

Still, after a day of antics, a day of awkwardness, a day which included Pam being tickled by Roy on Jim's own desk, Jim is pretty frustrated. So he asks Katie out. Not because he thinks she'll be the solution to his problems. But because she is pretty, and she's nice, and she took a chance coming into this office. And she put up with a lot of crap from Jim's weird co-workers, so he's gotta give her that; she's tough.

And maybe it's wrong for him to ask someone out to distract himself from his real life, but he can't help it. And maybe he's hoping that Katie will be The One. That she'll finally get his mind off of the engaged girl at reception.

But when he sees that tiny twinge of jealousy in Pam's eyes when he tells her he's going out with Katie this weekend, he knows that will never be the case. He still hopes he'll end up wrong, but he knows that little bit of jealousy has just reignited every feeling he's ever had for Pam. That bit of jealousy has kickstarted his hope that maybe, just maybe, he's got a chance.

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