#also at this point fuck everyone who can get vaccinated and doesn't

[hextechmaturgy]

my thoughts on pathologic classic

finally finished the game all the way through, so here are my (not at all concise) thoughts

beware of spoilers and A LOT OF TEXT

NOTE: I do know quite a bit about pathologic 2, but seeing as I haven't played that game yet, I'll try to keep my ideas here separate and only focus on what I got from playing the classic version

Bachelor:

By far my favorite character, and if you say I'm biased cause we have similar degrees, you are absolutely right, but that's not why I love him. I got into pathologic by watching all the video essays I think everyone else watches, so coming into it I had a very specific idea of what Daniil would be like - rude, condescending, heartless, "the prickly prick who will bury us all" - and while I can definitely see where some of those are coming from sort of, after 80+ hours of playing this goddamn game I can safely say: Daniil is a good person who does good things and the hate he gets is largely undeserved. I'm a Daniil Dankovsky TRUTHER.

He's kind! He's surprisingly good with kids; when he does snap at them and threaten to put them in timeout or to call their parents, it's usually because they're breaking his quarantine rules and that's a REALLY BAD IDEA (after 2020, I feel we can all relate to that frustration). In one instance, Capella asks him to look for a kid in an infected district and, upon finding him, Daniil tells him to run off and leave testing the disease to him, earning a shmowder from the kid but also getting the plague. This is a side quest, it's up to you to decide if getting infected is worth the shmowder or not, but the fact of the matter is, Daniil doesn't have to care about this kid, he doesn't have to do this quest, but (at least in my save) he does. Forgetting about the kids though, Daniil is just a genuinely helpful guy. He's a fucking lifesaver when you're playing as the Haruspex, he clears your name completely on day 1 when he really doesn't have to. The two go on to collaborate pretty much until the end. When Daniil's solution begins to diverge from Artemy's, he explains that no, killing the polyhedron won't help Artemy actually, it's the only way to ensure Aglaya is sacrificed, which is the only way Artemy will be accepted by the kin, which he knows is important to him, it's his inheritance! Time and time again, Daniil gives it his all to protect the people of the town. He talks Peter down from suicide, he can try to do the same with Rubin, he kills a bunch of men to protect Andrey, at some point he has a mission to reunite a daughter with her father and he only fails that mission because Artemy kills her (because you asked him for an infected heart and Artemy chose hers). His best efforts are constantly thwarted or misunderstood. I'm not saying he's a saint, he still has plenty of awful dialogue lines to choose from, but? MAN, I've been a health professional during a pandemic, I understand frustration, the pure fucking rage felt at the people who don't quarantine or believe vaccines will help, the hatred that rises in your gut when you watch as politicians take advantage of the situation. I was only a student back then! Imagine being 1 out of FOUR (4!!) people who can do something!

Daniil's condescension is another one of those things where... I see it, but I don't. Yes, his latin is tacky and he does have lines calling people dumb as shit compared to him, a genius mastermind, but one thing that we have to take into account is that Daniil is, by all accounts, a genius mastermind. The mysticism of the town goes completely over his head (it's SO fucking funny to me that Daniil has 0 knowledge that the Rat Prophet even exists), but this is because it's not something one can easily prove 1) it exists and 2) can be repeated and reproduced, both of which are VERY important in scientific experimentation. Meanwhile, in the Capital, Daniil is a famous scientist known for his experiments surrounding death; he's so good he's earned himself a following, and if the rumors on the street are to be believed, Daniil has even successfully brought someone back from the dead! I think he gets to flex his smarts, maybe. He doesn't need to be rude about it, sure, but it's not like the people would respect him if he didn't flex it. He's told from the start that he just doesn't get it, will never get it, "you're smart but you're not" type of conversation time and time again, since he's not attuned to ~miracles~ like some of the others are. Again, as an atheist myself, I can see why that would get frustrating. There is also an instance where Daniil "mansplains" antibodies to Artemy? Artemy, a fellow doctor sort of, can reply with something along the lines of "don't make fun of me" and Daniil's response is a genuine "i wasn't making fun of you, i was only explaining a concept". To the fellow mentally ill person reading this, ain't that the most relatable thing ever? Talking about something you're passionate about with a person that you like, wanting to make sure they understand the concept because you love it and understand it, but just coming off as obnoxious?

Daniil is GAY AS HELL. Those videos don't prepare you for how gay this man is. I started getting into the fandom telling myself "wow people ship these two huh, I can't imagine why" and then I played the fucking thing and you can't not ship them. It's not even subtext at this point, this is how Daniil introduces himself to Artemy:

He has two women thirsting over him (I don't know if Maria's feelings are genuine of if the Mistress magic within her just recognizes that he's her path to victory) and he barely reacts to them inviting him to their bed or saying "I love you" to his face. He can flirt back, but I feel like Daniil is just a charming guy as it is, he's from the Capital, he was friends with Andrey so you KNOW he did drugs in university and he has to know about the orgies already. He does care about Eva, but who wouldn't? In the runs you don't control him he often refers to her as "my Eva", but I always read it as platonic I'll be honest. Her death hits him hard, she's a sweetheart who only ever tried to help him, she housed him barely knowing who he was for fuck's sake, and Daniil's last conversation with her in the Cathedral shows he feels awful because he thinks she did it for him. I like to think that Daniil took a liking to Eva's kind and free spirit and often looked to her for comfort. Do I think he was in love with her? Absolutely not <3

Finally, let's talk about his ending, shall we? I feel like this is often used to demonstrate just how heartless Daniil is, and I will admit that, to me, his ending felt weirdly cruel and sudden while I was playing him. Hilariously, though, when I was playing as Artemy and spoke to Daniil about his solution, I thought Daniil had way better reasons to keep the polyhedron when I wasn't controlling him, and he explains his views better too. Daniil sees that the town is basically destroyed already, so many have died, so many more are infected and will soon die, they have a panacea but lack the materials with which to make enough to go around. The tower is aseptic, children have managed to live in it for the entirety of the plague without getting sick; it would be the perfect isolation ward for the survivors, a controlled space where they would be able to be vaccinated and monitored. Daniil does show frustration with the town, I think he even has some less than kind lines calling it backwards and doomed, but when his mind is clear and he's just talking about his plan, he says that he wouldn't mind saving the town, but he knows Block has to shoot something, and the polyhedron is worth preserving. I feel like his reasons are mostly empirical, a real science man's choice, but I'm also not one of those people who believes that Daniil represents hard, cold logic. The only reason he's searching for a way to defeat death is because he wants humans to die on their own terms, at peace. He follows facts but he interprets them with the mind of a bright eyed idealist. He writes the most dramatic letters in the world. He wears his heart of his sleeve! By the end of the game, he has seen evidence that the Kains are as magical as they claim to be. Maria's prophecies have come true, and he's literally spoken to the spirits of Nina and Simon. He sees the marvel of architecture that his twin friends managed to build, he admires it for what it is even without the mysticism on top, but then he actually learns that the mysticism is real, and he's naturally enthralled by it. Going into the polyhedron, hearing that music and seeing those lights, watching the kids play without a worry or care in the world. The future could be immortality and comfort, peace equal to that of a child who doesn't know pain, wouldn't that be wonderful? Adding to the mix the fact that he feels used by Aglaya (gonna be real here chief, either she played me super well or I was just not paying enough attention cause no matter which protagonist I was, I only ever loved Aglaya, this one is on him xoxo), while knowing she will die only if the town falls + knowing Artemy needs her dead or his prophecy won't be realized and his people won't accept him....... When talking to Clara about her ending, all she says is that she can't explain her miracle, a miracle requires faith, and yeah! If you were to meet God and he told you exactly how or why he stayed silent and hidden from you all your life, believing God exists and has power over the world would become fact, not a belief. There are too many "what ifs" in Clara's ending, at the cost of blood sacrifice one might add. Idk, I hate to see the town die and I do still think this ending is a bit cruel, but I get it. Daniil would think keeping the Polyhedron alive is the best choice, I can't fault him for it.

Side note, I would like to add that, although Daniil doesn't understand magic, as I've mentioned, he is the first person to defend it when he finds proof for it, and this doesn't just apply to the Kains. He admits he was wrong about the people and practices of the Steppe; they do work, he doesn't know how, but they are very much real and they do absolutely work, Artemy even gives him a panacea, a cure for the epidemic made from ancient, sacred blood. How can he go on claiming they're dumb superstitions? When you play as the Changeling, Daniil doesn't believe what he's heard about you at first, good or bad, but then he witness one of your miracles and from that point forth he's on your side. He defends her from Aglaya, once again rectifying the reputation of a perceived scoundrel simply because he can and he thinks they deserve it.

Haruspex:

This man makes me feral, I want to hug him so bad. His casual playfulness gets to me, the fact that his bound are children means that he often has to deal with them, and he really is good with them. A lot is said about his first mission being a testament to how hard the game and, indeed, his whole run is: one of your bound, a kid, asks you to kill another kid for betraying him or whatever. The reward is a shmowder, a cure to the plague, but you obviously lose reputation for going through with it. And see, if making this decision really was as crucial as some people make it out to be, I would get it, but it's really not. Letting the kid leave with his life means you don't get a shmowder, sure, but that doesn't matter cause you're playing the guy who invents the fucking cure. Notkin, the kid who "hired" you, thanks you for letting him live because he no longer felt so angry he wanted him dead once you left his hideout. TO ADD EVEN MORE REASONS TO WHY YOU SHOULD BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING, that kid you let escape comes back on day 9 and helps you get the Bachelor out of prison, no questions asked. Saving that kid and getting rep for it is so much more important than getting a single cure, especially because, if you're role-playing as Artemy in that moment, he probably doesn't even know what the shmowders do. Don't make your life harder. Play Artemy as the nice, moral man he is, protect the kid, protect all the children of the town, and you'll be rewarded with their friendship and all the things they can do for you. Murky alone provides the ingredients you need to make 2 fucking cures, and the price you pay for that is "go on a nice stroll through the steppe looking for her missing doll".

Related to my last point, Artemy will only really be hunted down by the masses for his crimes if he goes around town killing innocent people for no reason. You don't need to do that!!! If you must kill (and I do understand you kinda do in order to make your awesome potions), killing criminals at night raises reputation and, surprise bro, they also have organs: steal 'em, cook 'em, thrive. Artemy is portrayed as a brutish, scary man who will spill blood, and just like how it is with Daniil, this is all true in places. Despite what his model in 2 might suggest, I always envision him as a tall, large and imposing figure, the giant with the heart of gold archetype and all. People in the streets see that man, they hear about his crimes and his alleged crimes and they think the worst of him. I do believe part of the confusion also comes from the racist views of the people of the town, who go on and on about how freaky the worms and the brides are. Artemy's prophecy that he will spill blood is true for his ending, that's how he gains access to the ingredients he needs to make the cures, but it's also just a part of his occupation. Not to be a filthy solasmancer on main, but there's a character I really like in dragon age who says "the healer has the bloodiest hands" and to me that's Artemy in a nutshell. Daniil is more scientist than doctor imo, he deals with antigens and antibodies, proteins seen only through a microscope, a modern invention. He injects his solution with aseptic, hypodermic needles, and it seems to me that he mostly dealt with corpses in his previous job. Artemy's role in his society requires him to get his hands dirty to make sure that whoever is still living but hurting can recuperate and go on living. I think both positions are admirable and, to me, Artemy's is downright beautiful. As the devs have said, his story is about love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HIS ENDING FUCKED ME UP, MAN. I really spent the entire game thinking I would go for his designated solution no matter what. Nothing else made sense to me, I was looking forward to seeing how Daniil would explain his side to convince Artemy into choosing ANYTHING over the town, his town. Then I found out about Oyun who told me about Aglaya, Daniil told me that, if Artemy destroyed the polyhedron, the ancient blood would indeed flow, but the kin would not allow him to use it because, by choosing to not take his sacrifice when he needed to, he would not be accepted by them. Aglaya x Artemy is the only romance with the protagonists that I'm willing to believe, besides Daniil x Artemy ofc. Aglaya is enamored by Artemy (or possibly manipulating him because) she sees how he lives his life independent of the Powers That Bed. So what if my decisions are preordained? They're helping the ones I love. She's hoping his independence will rub off on her, and indeed his ending is the only way she lives. If you care about Aglaya, which I certainly do, choosing an ending as Artemy is torture.

I wish Artemy had stronger ties to the town. His father is dead when the game starts and all of the kids he's put in charge of are strangers. He does have an old friend there, Rubin, but he mostly contacts him through letters telling him he's out to kill him, and if I'm remembering correctly, later they meet once so Rubin can apologize and then he never comes back? My memory is bad, but that feels right. Anyway, the kin do seem to remember him, they do certainly recognize his name if not, but they don't respect him until Artemy proves himself to them. I won't get into pathologic 2, I said I wouldn't, but I know this alienation was tweaked in that game and I'm glad for him. Having Grief and Lara as extra childhood friends only adds to Artemy's connection with the town and the people living in it. Wanting to keep his childhood friends safe, who are all bound to Clara, would give him even more reasons to agonize over his ending. Imagine if, after falling down Oyun's hole (oops!) and speaking to the Changeling, Artemy had to choose one of those three women to die knowing one of his oldest friends was among them! Delicious drama, I say.

Oh yeah, Artemy is also gay as shit. I'm sorry, but if a stranger from the big city came to me and asked me for a still beating infected heart which I might have to lose reputation to get, I would at least think to tell them "maybe" if not "go fuck yourself". I won't go into this ship again, but the way they're both always so willing to help each other, even though it would be easier not to.........

Changeling:

Getting into this game, I had quite a bit of information on Daniil and Artemy, but very little on Clara. I knew the basics: she's the plague, but she isn't! She has a twin but she doesn't! How is that possible? Fuck you! That being said, I was probably looking forward to her route the most because I felt like this was the character I had the most to learn about, and I was right. Clara deserves more love, her character is truly incredible. But.... where to start, oh my god................

Okay, so Clara is the personification of the plague, we learn this super early on; in the Haruspex route, she asks Artemy to talk to the Rat Prophet about who she is and what her purpose is. Artemy can be nice and tell her she's a holy healer who can only do good, or he can tell her the truth, which terrifies her. She is spit by the Earth (wakes up in a hole with no memories) and arrives in town on the day the plague starts. While Daniil and Artemy have to pay everyday for updated maps showing the different infected districts, Clara sees her "twin" in dreams who tells her where she'll go next, so she always just Knows where the plague's spreading. She has to convince her mirror self to leave an infected district to prevent it from staying infected until the end of the game. It's obvious that she holds power over the plague, the how is what gets most people. How can she both have and not have a twin? How is she a deadly disease but also a holy healer? The answer, in the end, is quite simple. Clara is the personification of the plague, but she is also a bright 13 year old girl with an imagination. In this world we're invited to play in, which is actually the invention of two very traumatized children and, beyond that, a group of indie game developers with a passion for what they do, having an avid imagination is what makes Clara unique, it's the source of all her magic and goodness, even if it cannot completely erase her wickedness. Clara believes she can heal people and find a solution that doesn't require Block to shoot anything, and in doing so, those options become real. When Clara said she had a twin sister, she spoke another Clara into being. It's truly fascinating and also tragic, I think, to tell the story of a young girl who believes she can cure all of Humanity's ailments, not realizing (or perhaps living in denial of the fact) she's the reason those ailments exist in the first place.

I'm gonna break the mold a bit and talk about her ending already, because I feel like it flows well coming from that last point. Clara's ending, the miracle that keeps both the polyhedron and the town, can only be achieved by keeping her bound alive and healthy until the end of the game, which is harder as Clara than it is as the other two. With Daniil and Artemy, if you manage your time correctly, you will keep all your bound healthy, but Clara's daily missions require her to meet her bound and learn how awful they are (well, some of them) and then she has to lie about their true nature to those who could punish them for it, just as Clara lies about herself. She detests trickery, but if we ourselves are to suffer deception, our hands are no longer tied. When you know the truth about something, you are compelled to form a just opinion on it, but if you are lied to or deceived in some way, any decision you make may yet be forgiven because you just didn't know all the facts. Clara lives in make believe land in the most figurative but also literal sense possible. The sins of her bound don't hit her as hard because they have been deceived into believing they're real people, so she's inclined to forgive them, especially cause she's certain they can still be useful to her. In many ways, Clara is lying to herself about her true nature so she can navigate the world without concerns. Lying to her dad about the "goodness" of her bound and taking the reputation loss because of it is kind of poetic; her dad made the wrong choice by believing her and not arresting those people, but he's been freed from his crimes by her lies. Later, when Clara turns to her bound and asks them to make the ultimate sacrifice to power the miracle, they go in peace. Most say they're glad they get to die like "a real human" with a blood like Simon's.

Clara's route is really fun, but later on it does get as repetitive as everyone says, you can tell she was rushed. The missions "find your sister and banish her" and "find the bachelor and the haruspex so they won't kill each other" do get annoying, especially because they don't even have different dialogue prompts and every time you get into one of those houses to talk to them you just get the shit beat out of you, or you get the plague. There's also like... NO mention of Eva's death in her route? She's alive in the Haruspex's so I though she would be too in the Changeling's or, if she did die, I thought there would be a really cool conversation between them, seeing as the Changeling sends Daniil a letter taunting him with Eva's suicide. But no, Eva just stops showing up at her house and that's it. Huge waste of potential there. I also don't get why some of her bound are those people? Anna Angel, Bad Grief and Aspity are the fucking most in this game, so those I get. Oyun is out to kill the Burakhs, so yeah I read him on the bad vibes scale too. Katerina is a failed Mistress who only ever gave me bad instructions, so I GUESS she counts, and Alexander is a cop so fuck him too. I could make a case for Rubin? Kind of? But for Lara and Yulia, I am truly out of ideas. Clara's bound is made up of all these complex liars and cheats, corrupt politicians and the like, and then there's the lady who's too nice to shoot even her father's murderer and the math lesbian who....????? I'm gonna be real here, I never know what the fuck Yulia is talking about, I could not tell you if I like her or not because I simply do not understand what her purpose is. She's a fatalist who believes in the predetermination of fate and, as far as I can tell, that's it. Cool look, though.

I love that she gets to meet the Powers That Be twice and that they're spooked she got to them earlier than the other two. I also like the detail that this whole Clara dichotomy exists because the kids can't decide between one another if she should save or kill everyone.

One thing I forgot to say in the section about her ending: I love the implication that her ending will only reach peak effectiveness if the healers learn to work together. Clara will transform the blood of those who volunteer to die "like Simon"; this blood is what will allow Artemy to make the cures to all of those who get infected; this blood is also what allowed Daniil and Rubin to make a vaccine that can prevent the disease from coming back for as long as they can. Note: Awesome world building detail, adding in that Simon's blood was old and that was why it could only be used to make vaccines, not panaceas. It makes me think about how older folk tend to hold wisdom of past generations that allow the younger ones to avoid unnecessary pain (Daniil is older than the other two healers, not by a lot but still....... curious). This suggest that, when catastrophe does hit, the younger folks can return the favor by protecting them to the best of their ability, and then, when the bad days pass, we can look to the children and recognize that the future we build afterwards is for them. Allowing humans to exist within a loving community is Clara's miracle. It's so fucking nice to be alive, you guys.

anyway play pathologic, it's not as hard as it seems, and if it is just cheat, i won't tell anyone

#pathologic #don't look at me i have many thoughts so i'm dumping them here #edit: I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT IN THE CHANGELING ROUTE IT'S IMPLIED THAT DANIIL AND ARTEMY FOUGHT EACH OTHER IN THE RING NEAR THE TERMITARY #clearly none of them won. how fucking funny is that #i'm having plague thoughts (BEWARE)

[magnetothemagnificent]

The funny thing about Conservative conspiracy theories is they always operate on fucking cartoonvillian logic. No matter how many times it seemingly fails, somehow a group of shadowy elites keeps doing the same damn thing.

"Mass shootings are false flags to take away our guns!!!" Yet no reasonable gun reform has ever bene implemented despite the numerous mass shootings that have taken place

"Covid is all a lie to control the population/vaccines have microchips/masks are mind control!!" Wow, guess those elites are pretty shitty at their jobs because literally all that's happened is being asked to wear a mask and vaccine mandates. Idk why people latched so hard onto the microchip shit considering what would even be the point of that when everyone already has a GPS in their pocket and I can't even begin to see what the point of a microchip is.

"The election was rigged!!!" Yet we chose fucking Biden of all people instead of someone actually combatant like Bernie. No hate to Biden but if I were to rig an election, I'm not choosing him lmao

And that's barely scratching the surface of the weird shit these people believe.

Yeah. I mean at the end of the day most conspiracy theories are batshit.

But it's important to understand the factors feeding into these kinds of conspiracy theories: The Christian victim complex and cognitive dissonance.

(this isn't saying all Conservatives are Christian, but the American Conservative ideology is rooted in Christianity and you can't seperate that.)

So when you look at it this way, you can start to see a bit of the "logic" in this conspiracy theories.

It goes a little bit like this: "I, a Christian, am inherently oppressed, and outside forces (read: Jews) are constantly trying to Get Me. I also believe in the Apocalypse, so my time here on earth is constantly under threat, and Jesus could come any day and enact Judgement Day. I have to be ready All The Time. That's why I stockpile and immense amount guns, because I have to protect myself and be prepared to fight nonbelievers when Judgement Day comes. As a Christian, I am constantly oppressed, including by the government, which is run by my enemies (Jews). So when the government tries to pass legislation to even try to limit my guns, they are coming after Me specifically, because as a true Christian there will always be nonbelievers out to shut me down."

It doesn't matter that statistics show that Christians are the dominant demographic in the US, and indeed in most of the Western world. It doesn't matter that every scientific study in the world can disprove these conspiracy theories. The cognitive dissonance is that strong.

These conspiracy theories don't make sense at all to us, but to people embroiled in Christian victim mentality, they do make sense. That's what makes conspiracy theories so powerful, because they are seen as logical by those who believe them. Conspiracy theories don't just say "the earth is flat." They have a whole thesis backing up the theory, with "facts" and "evidence" that make the conspiracy theory seem logical to those who believe it.

And that's what's so dangerous about conspiracy theories.

#conspiracy theories #antisemitism #Christianity #american politics

[emblazonet]

Nerilka's Story

Can someone explain why this book exists, please?

It's fucking TINY and it took me over a month to get through, and it somehow managed to make me hate characters from Moreta: Dragonlady of Pern, which is an incredible feat, because I loved Moreta and the cast.

I liked Nerilka in Moreta. She was fine.

Being in her head was like someone rubbing a cheesegrater on my skull.

As usual, spoilers follow for a book that's been out since 1986.

I mean, Anne McCaffrey did succeed in writing a first-person book that is exactly like a person writing shit down in a diary with very little filter and with no real sense of plot, and if I wanted that, I would go read a real person's diary, because it sure as fuck couldn't be more boring than this.

The first half of the book is just Nerilka (Rill) being all like 'wah I was mean to my family and now they're dead' which, like, valid thing to be sad about. Her dad sucks, which we know from Moreta. Great, we can maybe have tension with him—wait no. Suddenly the focus then moves on to Rill's flouncy stepmother who is just a really boring charicature of a stock villain. She's pretty and brainless and lords it over Nerilka and it's flat and boring and comes across as pretty misogynistic honestly.

McCaffrey's weird bloodline shit is extra gross in this. The drudges come off as subhuman in intelligence, who must be managed and herded. (And then all the parts later on where Alessan needs to have a person of the right bloodline to marry and I'm just like.... why.) There's no magic or anything that runs through bloodlines. There's no scientific reason why nobles matter more than other people. It's just stated to matter for some reason with no back up. If the caste system was like, nuanced or something—a drudge struggles to be thought of as intelligent or something, in another Pern story even!—then I'd be more tolerant, but this seems like an unconscious bias, and therefore it irks me.

The other issue with the first half of the book is that it's a really shoddy rehash of stuff that already happened in Moreta. Yawn.

I was relieved at first when Rill finally got to Ruatha hold where hopefully she could have some characters to interact with—the telling instead of showing was by this point irritating the everloving fuck out of me. Unfortunately it's just 'here's some boring vaccine logistics' for pages. Then finally Moreta dies which introduces some conflict...

And instead of anything compelling we end up with Mega Depressed Emotional Shutdown Alessan who basically gets a complete personality wipe, because that's how grief works right? And then suddenly he's making some stupid shitty suicide bargain to Rill. "You can kill me once I put a bun in your oven, but don't worry, I won't beat you!" WOW.

WOW. (There's no 'omg you were Lady Nerilka all along!' moment in any of the book, by the way, despite her travelling incognito. Everyone just already knew. That dialogue might have been fun! Can't have that.)

(There's also no scene where Rill and Alessan reminisce over Suriana, the one person they loved in common, because that also might be fun or have emotional resonance.)

And then Alessan is a zombie for the rest of the book. Look, yes, grief changes people, sure, but like. Maybe we can cut out realism in the TELEPATHIC DRAGON book to maybe not have a previously-likeable dude turn into 'not beating my wife is my one redeeming quality haha I have no emotions anymore.'

Like he gets four sons and doesn't emote until there's a daughter???

And Rill's like "This is fine, he has no real emotion for me except pragmatic approval, but I like being pregnant so it's a happy ending after all!"

(This book has some weird moments about pregnancy. Like the whole bit with the runner giving birth where Rill says runners are so much more advanced than humans because they don't wail and weep and curse in pain. What. What is that. Why is that. That's fucking weird, Anne! That's a weird thing to say! I love my random animal birth scenes to have an Obligatory Misogynist moment to make the narrator sound like she's Not Like Other Women, that's fucking great.)

Anyway this book fucking sucked and I'm going to pretend it never happened in order to go on enjoying Moreta.

1/10 YIKES

#nerilka's story #amber reads pern #dragonriders of pern #I need some brain bleach please #if the next book isn't better I'm gonna riot

[neuxue]

Has the pandemic caused you to rethink your judgments of Mat & Perrin's reaction toward Rand as a channeler in the early books of the series? Specifically, dealing with people who don't want to mask or social distance up or refuse to get vaccinated?

I don't think that's the analogy I would use, for the main reason that vaccination, masking, and social distancing are things people choose not to do (obviously with some exceptions, more on that in a second), whereas channelling is something Rand is narratively stated to be unable to help.

So if we really wanted a Covid analogy, it would probably be a closer fit to liken him to someone who is, say, severely immunocompromised, can't safely get a vaccine, and is also classified as a key worker and thus can't isolate. Which would be a combination of factors that would mean he's very likely to get Covid, probably have severe symptoms of it, and also due to factors outside of his control spread it to others.

Leaving that analogy aside... in terms of Mat and Perrin's reactions towards learning Rand can channel, I think it's very much set up to be a frustrating situation to observe as a reader. Because of course you can see where they're coming from: this is a thing of nightmares for them, a thing they've heard horror stories about their entire lives. This is something that could hurt or kill anyone close to him, and they're close to him. It's terrifying and they're entirely unprepared and unequipped to deal with it. They're young and in many ways naive and this is so far above their paygrade; of course they don't handle it well.

But we're also watching this from Rand's viewpoint, and so as the reader you are positioned to understand that this isn't something he chose, and is something he would at that point rid himself of if he could. You're positioned to see how young and scared and alone he is, how terrified he is of this power he holds and the harm it might do. You're positioned to see how badly he needs his friends not to turn away from him.

Which doesn't mean he's Right and they're Wrong; it's frustrating (in a good/satisfying way, as a reader, at least in my opinion) precisely because as an outside observer you can see where everyone's coming from... but you can also see how it's going to actively make things worse, because that's how the story is set up. It's a point of conflict established very early on, and narratively it absolutely does its job.

And I'm probably even more fed up with protagonist-centred morality than I was when I started these books, so maybe I'd be more balanced in my articulation of my reactions to those scenes (though on the other hand I'm also fed up with the idea that you have to take a perfectly balanced stance on every comment you make on a work of fiction or else it's tacitly assumed that you Side With Character A And Hate Character B, but we'll just. shelve that essay for another day)... but again I think the point of those scenes is to be frustrating, and to make you as a reader want to shake everyone in them and go 'I get where you're coming from but this is going to fuck things up so much!' but also they can't hear you and ultimately if they could there'd be no story so the frustration is part of the experience, and part of the enjoyment.

And this was years ago now but I think much of my frame of mind when commenting on those scenes was one of 'aahhhh, no, don't do that, that's going to end so badly!' but not in the sense of criticising, if that makes sense. They react in a way that's absolutely in-character and understandable. They also react in a way that is narratively crafted to Fuck Things Up. And at book 2 of a series, Fucking Things Up is kind of the point - so as a reader you get to watch it and go 'uh oh' the way you sit on a roller-coaster car as it starts climbing a very, very high ascent.

#something I've often found challenging in the course of the WoT liveblog #is making it clear when I'm Actually Criticising something vs when I'm just... #reacting the way the text wants me to be reacting? #it's one of those 'meet the story where it is' kinds of things sometimes #the narrative WANTS you to be frustrated or excited or scared or whatever #and you can embrace that on one level even if on another level you're looking from a different perspective #you can sympathise with a character's position because that's what the narrative intends #while ALSO understanding why other characters behave the way they do #one of the joys of fiction is that you can look at a conflict and feel like /everyone/ is 'right' (or like no one is) #you can pick every side or some sides or no sides #you can hold entirely contradictory views or sympathies or analyses simultaneously #do I want to shake Mat and Perrin until they pull their heads out of their asses? sure! #do I think that the story would probably be less satisfying if they were on board with it all from the start? also yes #anyway that was a digression and perhaps not the most coherent one but hey that's what tags are for #asks #anon #wheel of time #covid cw

[berrymeter]

Tell me about the pope??? I am intrigued

looks off into the distance ... the pope... okay let me switch my music maybe there's better fitting music for this. freak music works better. oh btw this is exceedingly long sorry it took me like a year to respond i had to fact check every other word bc imagine understanding this & retaining it

ok so .

she! um. ok there is a lot going on here but the way i can simplify it is that she was a human who got merged with the univ.ersal will (an entity from the source code of the universe created by some guy to try & aid humanity to thrive but it misinterpreted shit & wants to erase humanity now), & then the some guy i just mentioned ended up Also ended up being absorbed by her except at this point he was fucked up & sick & twisted not necessarily evil but he causes problems on purpose for funsies. btw he's not just "some guy" he's one of the... three? smartest humans ever recorded but like that doesn't matter rn we're talking abt ar.iels. ummm anyway she fucking hates humanity & wants to destroy it ofc thanks unive.rsal will very cool. it's also fun bc she's the pope so she does evil shit & everyone's kinda like "oh yeah let's go along i mean she's the pope we can't argue". well until she gets her ass fucking kicked i guess. she's currently in jail & we don't know what's up w the unive.rsal will BUT the "some guy" is not with her anymore as of rn maybe he took it with him? who knows. hold up where even is cha.os *goes to check* oh right he was just sitting on a beach last we know ok cool. feel free to ask about cha.os as well ........ if i can explain

anyway so now that u haven't understood any of this bc believe me i'm barely keeping up with this myself at any point in time ari.els manipulates a lot of ppl into doing awful shit making them believe she's doing it ~for humanity~ or for their personal goals. like

contacting bedm.an to enlist his services as a hitman bc "oh don't worry we're gonna create an ideal world where you can bring your sister back to life & also every person you kill too! i just need you to kill these ppl & follow my orders first teehee!" then, as he's about to die, tells him she's been using him the entire time & he almost killed her in response but died right before he could do so. ask me about bed.man for more detail . he's one of the most ...... characters ...

getting the conclave to revive jus.tice because uhghgghh shaping the world however they want. idk i don't think wanting to ahve the power to reshape the world is like Good so yea the con.clave were kept in the dark on some things but also like... they were not good ...

she started replacing the vaccines the japanese colony were getting with placebo vaccines. um. the whole deal with this is certainly something too but basically japan is gone from the surface of the earth & the survivors were put in colonies "for their protection" a century ago (it was really a quarantine bc genetic modification was being observed so the UN were like ohhhh that's kinda fucked up stay away). japan vanished due to a mutation a bunch of them were afflicted with that turned them into living bombs & also they were in a lot of pain & as a result That Man (that's what they called him) just fucking. blew up japan. a.. ask me about... detail........

uhhh the val.entines. basically she's creating ppl based on like... Another Girl Who Is Also The Mc's Dead But Not Anymore Girlfriend. they're created to run her errands basically but also even if they're created as emotionless they always end up developing them anyway? ram.lethal is a valentine! her & her sister el.phelt! though they're technically all sisters kinda, ram & el were created at the same time & both given emotions but kinda went in opposite directions w them. anyway they're also to be used in the plan to reshape the world bc ar.iels wants to merge either el or ram with ju.stice to 'create the first True Real Perfect Human' & go from there with the whole reshaping the world thing. uhhh btw jus.tice is? a gear... um... ask me about her too if u want ....... there is a lot going on here but i swear it all makes sense somehow ......

i can't think of anything else to add except that she cosplayed gam.zee when she revealed that she's actually trying to fuck everyone up lmao um. dont miss it! juggalo pope!

#asks #elle🐱 #cant wait for someone to find this post & go 'well actually thats wrong' #if there are ppl who think gg lore is easy to understand . well ok #sorry for not having a brain it's rough out there #guilted gears lore

[jadedvaevic]

Here's a handy little checklist for y'all about the current state of things, in case you forgot:

- The government of the most military-strong country in the world is run by a false president elected via the hand of a group of people who desire one world government. All of this is admitted publicly by those very people.

- Russia is fucking angry and now in civil war, and has access to nuclear tech. That previously mentioned US government has been overstepping with Russia for decades. This is a ticking time bomb.

- The US is in an economic free fall. Our currency is actively losing value.

- We are being pushed toward a cashless society. Canada lost access to the internet country wide a bit back and, lol, everyone there lost access to their banks for that time. It was a crisis. All digital currency, activity and presence is traceable and hackable as well as controllable.

- People across the entire fucking WORLD fell for the C19 scheme and those of us who stood opposed were threatened with death, forced quarantine camps, physically forced vaccinations and more. And now it's been publicly admitted that it's all fake and the fucking vaccine kills more people than the fucking virus does.

- There is a global fucking epidemic of pedophilia and it's right in our back yard here in the US too, and pedophiles are being actively protected and pushed into the "tolerance" sphere.

- Same with trans people, who need real help and are not getting it. Instead we are watching these people fall apart on a years long timeline, and most of them were pushed to believe they are something they are not. These people will absolutely contribute to suicide statistics later on.

- Euthanasia and abortion are both being pushed in a big fucking way toward the population of the world.

- Climate change was admitted by the very man who coined the term to be a scam, and that scam is being used to control policy and law and our lives on an individual level in VERY BIG WAYS, from the way we move and live to the way we EAT and the things we OWN.

- We are in fact being pushed toward carrying chips in our bodies to control our spending and to track us. We're already tracked, spied on and conditioned with our phones.

- The people's hero Elon Musk is the mind behind neurolink, which would allow, eventually, the possibility of literally controlling and reading our thoughts. By the way, your thoughts are electrical signals and computers communicate the same goddamn way. Thought control and manipulation are literally proven things that do exist, see subliminal messaging, psychological research on children and general understanding of the psychological development of human beings based on their environment, the social behaviors of the people around them, the way of life they're brought into, the media they are exposed to and more.

- The other people's hero, Trump, didn't fucking do shit to stop this. If he were truly a leader he would have called for a stand, not bided his time repairing the fucking seating in a car which doesn't run. Every policy he made can be undone. Policies are PAPER. They don't actually fucking do anything. Your real hero, the constitution, has already laid the framework for what we need. And you parade that shit around but don't do shit with it.

- Media is actively controlled by the group mentioned in the first point by the way. The butterfly effect of that is WORLD CHANGING and that too is proven, with decades of evidence.

- They've also admitted to pushing toward a food shortage as they push to destroy supply lines and control what's left.

- The chemicals in our food, water and all other items in our households are approved by the same corrupt government and in fact are proven to make us weaker, more emotional, less rational and less assertive. Controllable. Dumb.

- Oh and haha did I mention that they've got control of the medicines we can access, so much so that real cures are being taken off of shelves and even banned from being sold online? Try to buy the meds you really need without a doctor's prescription. I beg you. Ivermectin was only one example of something they manipulated people into rejecting and the effects. Were. HUGE. Try to get some for yourself.

- Immigration is ACTIVELY DESTROYING the way of life for MILLIONS ACROSS THE WORLD. Government sanctioned immigration is causing the active terrorism, rape and murder of people across the fucking WORLD.

- PEOPLE WHO BRING OUT THE TRUTH ARE ACTIVELY BEING MURDERED AND THEIR DEATHS ANNOUNCED AS SUICIDES.

There's a lot more than this.

The justice system is a dead fucking corpse strung up to follow the whims of people who do not give a FUCK about due process or innocence.

Stop fucking pretending the world is safe and fine and fixable if you elect the right puppet.

And while you're at it stop fucking fronting like your little online debates are doing jack SHIT.

#shit that radicalizes you

[zoekrystall]

Since a tweet put me in a short rage state here's a reminder if you do not care abt disabled people and just like. Your fellow humans in general. In this still ongoing pandemic then I do not want you near me. Keep masking get the vaccines.

Since our german government absolutely sucks at this and also the usa and various other ones is here a compilation of studies in case you don't know abt them. If being unaware or lies made you stop then my hatred is purely aimed at the ones that made you believe that and not you.

I have such a burning hatred for the govs anyways how likely most already do but this just amplified it for me. I cannot believe I thought germany would handle it better. Hate hate hate living in hell state bavaria.

(could prob write this neater but I am awake since 24h and will pass out now before splatfest focus but needed to get this out. under the cut is just angry talk. I want to keep the tumblr blog positive for the majority but welp)

I am like the only person still masking at the places I have to go to and I genuinely got nothing but hatred left after three fucking years. Am I disabled myself? I wouldn't be suprised if my ed worsened things but would personally still count myself as abled. Albeit less than a normal healthy one around my age. But either way it does not matter.

Why the fuck is it so hard to fucking care about others and not yourself why the fuck is a jab and a mask such a huge problem for some I am genuinely at the point where I want to push a knife through their heart and whatnot. Why the absolute hell should I still be nice to people that talk absolutely heartless about the death of others bc "oh they were already old/disabled/prob had smth anyways". Not a single life is disposable. An ex friend said oh they don't care if they themself die bc depression and like sorry not sorry but while this is an explanation is this absolutely not an excuse. If you get it can you give it to others who did not fucking consent to get roped into your death wish. Maybe I was too mean to him but it got tried nicer for months and it did not work. As if I can still spare any niceness. I want to strangle everyone who goes welp it doesn't concern me the most tho. Next to like all those fucking governments.

I got it once it was "mild" but I either way do not want it ever again or want to ever give it to literally anyone.

How I said yeah sure maybe nicer but I do have to admit I still wear this as some badge of honor.

Ig you don't ever want to talk with me one on one abt this if you don't do anything. Other alters are nicer. That or way too burned out to even start anything anymore. In a pandemic do actions speak louder than words. I also just want to state I did in the end get him to wear a mask at least w me but I highly doubt he did when with others. Literally yanked him to make him stop so he first put his mask on I will absolutely get handsy. Glad he's gone.

#kill nazis kill terfs kill rich assholes etc yeah w you on that but not people that don't harm anyone #If you can't do either or both but would like to then this is not adressed at you #To make this at least a biiit nicer. I love how we got the sweet alters and then there's me who is the most not above murder #but alas. consequences. #I say the most since some are also not. No-one insystem thinks the snapping years ago was unjustified and all #But don't get the wrong idea this is v much a whole system stance. Do not try to become our friend if you leave disabled people in the dust #This is a mass eugenics event #And if you take part then fuck you #a wild lux appears

[zonie-az]

everyone knows before New Mexico and Arizona ch: 2 the cold

story summary:

Ari falls for New Mexico.

NM doesn't know what's going on.

everyone else sees it.

Chapter 2 of 7

word count for this ch: 1,469

pairing: New Mexico and Arizona

wattpad AO3

Chapter 2: the cold 

NM point of view

One day in the middle of winter. Arizona was called to a meeting. NM was already there. Arizona came up with a lot of jackets on and a big heating blanket. 

"where an outlet, you unplugged my heating blanket" Ari gave everyone a dirty look. After getting his blanket plugin. He turned to them.

"Alright now as I was saying" Gov started. 

"Orale hold on" Gov looked annoyed but stopped. He looked over at Ari. "is that my jacket I've been looking for it. Did you take it?" 

"I don’t know what you're talking about" Arizona covered himself more with the blanket. 

"oOoOO I ship it" Florida 

"Shut up it's snowing in Flagstaff!! Am fucking freezing"

"Ari is okay, I am not mad. Are you really that cold?" NM asked then added worriedly in Spanish forgetting others could understand. "I would have given that to you. Also, You have so many layers, okay? That's a lot you look like you could overheat" 

"Am freezing" Arizona said then in Spanish “you know am not made for the cold. And am so fucking cold”

"Couples sharing and stealing jackets. Classic" Florida said “also being worried about each other. Amazing” 

"Shut up" 

"If we go on a trip we need to get them only one bed," Florida said looking over at loui

"Sha Why wait for a trip, let's just steal one of their beds now!" 

"No no no we are not taking anyone's bed" Gov finally joined back in the conversation. Ari was glaring at Florida and loui. Then Gov

"Now you say something. When stealing is brought up in front of you and others! Not when they were being an Ass and all" 

"Orale! Ari, right you are fine stealing other people's stuff like I don’t know land but whe-" 

"Enough. I just needed to check in on how covid going" 

"People are getting sick but we are vaccinating everyone we can. But there idiots all over who won't get any" 

"Arizona you can’t call everyone idiots, what's with you today? Your being mean" Gov said

"He has more fight in him today. I like it!" Florida smiled “There so much to do”

"No no no I don't like that look in your eye Florida. Okay, Arizona you can go we check back later" Gov turned back to NM.  

Arizona unplugged his blanket and left. NM didn't really pay any attention to what else was going on. He worried about Ari. What just happen in front of everyone, wasn’t how Arizona acts. He was angry and snappy, very reactive, that, that just wasn’t him. 

As soon as Gov ended the meeting NM runoff, he hear Florida yell go get 'em tiger or some shit like that, NM wasn’t really listening. He stood outside Ari door. He hesitated maybe it was just red river week and it was worse than usual and Ari wanted to be alone? NM realized if that was the case Arizona would just tell him and then new Mexico would leave. He knocked on the door. A few minutes later Arizona opened the door. 

"New Mexico, what are you doing?" Arizona looked confused and still upset. NM did see his jacket on Ari, as well as a long sleeve and what looked like a turtle neck. NM didn't even know Ari owned a turtle neck. 

"I came to check on you. May I come in?" 

Arizona shuge "sure am getting back under my heating blanket tho" 

Arizona let go of the door not even bothering to open it all the way for Newie. Let alone close it afterward like he usually does. Arizona wiggles under his blanket on his bed. Wrapping himself up. NM pushed open the door and walked into the room and shut the door. He shivered when it was very cold in Ari's room. 

"What going on why is it so cold?" NM asked rubbing his arms. Arizona popped his head out from under the blankets. 

"I don't know but I hate it," Arizona said 

"Why didn't you go find somewhere else to be warm? You could have come in my room or something"

"This is a me problem. I can't always run to you, it's bad and I keep doing it" 

"We are going to talk about that comment later after I warm up this room or we move to mine," NM said, looking at Ari, not liking how Ari said that. 

"Whatever, my face is cold" Ari wiggled his way down into the blankets more. NM raise an eyebrow he definitely needed to fix whatever this was. He knew Ari wasn’t good in the cold but this was bad. He started by going to the window, claiming on the edge of the bed so he could put his hand on it. It was snowing outside so maybe the cold was coming into the room. Ari wiggled a little under the covers but didn’t do anything else. It was cold to the touch but nothing too weird. He got on the bed more careful not to step on any of the lumps that were Ari. Running his hands alongside the window trying to see if cold air was coming in. But there was nothing, NM got off the bed, he pulled down one of the blankets while doing so. He stopped and fixed it for ari. 

"thank you,” Ari said softly in Spanish still under the blankets 

“No problem desert snake, you just try and stay warm. I'll figure this out for you” NM went to the bathroom checking the window in there. Again didn’t seem like it was leaking cold air. He did debate telling ari to jump in a warm shower but going from hot water to a cold room would make everything worse. He rubbed his hands together starting to get very cold himself. He had only been in the room for a little bit, why did Ari stay here? It was so cold he must be hurting. NM when over the walls that were to the other side. Trying to find a leak or something, anything. There was nothing, he when over to the vents. IT WAS CLOSED! He opened it up. Warm air started coming out. 

“YES!”

“What?” Ari wiggled his head out looking at NM who was going around all the vents were closed, he opened all the warm air coming into the room. He opened the one on the floor. Ari got up to bring one of the blankets he felt the warm air “omg it's so warm” 

He flops down sitting on the vent wrapping the blanket around trapping the warm air inside. 

"Awwww. This is amazing. I love you" Arizona said then a few seconds later froze up realizing what he said. "Ummm sorry I d-" 

"Ari, it's okay. I love you too. You are my best friend" NM saw the disappointment flash over Arizona's face and then replaced with a smile. "You are amazing, come join me, you should have some warmth as well" Ari scooted over, NM sat down and Arizona opened up the blanket moving closer, and essentially gobbled NM up. Wrapping them both in it. NM popped his head out after some struggle.

"Ari, I need to be able to breathe!" Arizona just giggled. NM smiled and Ari looked at him like he wanted something. NM give a questioning look but Arizona just gave a big yawn. and rested his head on NM 

"you're warm"

NM put his arm around Ari, trying to help him warm-up. He thought about how cold Ari must have been, and in pain from it, soon he heard Ari start to snore. 

He smiled well Ari was warm and comfortable now. It took some work but he picked up Arizona without falling. The blanket fell, and Arizona clanged on to him. NM smiled. Ari was so cute, Ari snuggled his head into NM's neck. 

New Mexico carefully walked over to the bed setting Arizona down. Ari just grabbed on tighter, NM tried to wiggle his way out. Ari just wine holding on to NM. 

“Arizona you have to let go,” NM said Ari was clearly asleep he just hold on. Giving a little wine every now and then. “Dester snake your not going to let go are you?”

NM picked Ari but up and then sat on the bed and then rolled so he was laying. Ari on top of him, there was a lot of wiggling and trying to get ari to at least lay somewhat normally so NM could get the blanket over both of them. Afterward he looked down at Ari who was soundly sleeping arms around him, legs wrapped around one of NM’s. 

“We need to cut your hair again soon” NM brushed some out of Ari’s face then yawned “goodnight” 

#welcome to the statehouse #welcome to the table #ben brainard #wttt #the table #edmund writes #new mexico/arizona #new mexico #arizona #everyone knows before New Mexico and Arizona story

[arsonist-chicken]

I am begging. BEGGING everyone to get vaccinated if you can, and to reduce your social contacts, and

My healthy, vaccinated, 24-year-old sister who very rarely gets sick at all caught Covid and now she is MISERABLE. She has a fever, possibly a spine infection, hardly hears on one ear, a headache, a nosebleed, and is cold all the time (the woman usually wear shorts in winter sometimes) and sick enough to almost throw up.

She meets like two or three people anymore except for at work, she's vaccinated, and STILL she got sick, and badly, because some people put other people's health and safety over their own personal convenience.

If you can get vaccinated and tested at least semi-regularly and you don't, why don't you just piss off and lock yourself in at home instead of endangering others and being responsible for their sickness, possible long-term effects, or deaths. Why don't you fuck off and don't endanger all of us who still restrict our everyday lives and try to protect others and be compassionate.

#seriously fuck all the companies and schools/unis I've heard of in the last few days that will not let you work from home unless you are #officially quarantined or sick even if you've had contact with someone infected #also at this point fuck everyone who can get vaccinated and doesn't #and everyone who still meets twenty people a day if they have the option of yk not doing that #also an extremely big fuck you to my aunt and my cousin #TURNS OUT. my aunt was positive. she knew that. my cousin knew that. and STILL they let the kids visit the aunt/their grandmother #and THEN still let the kids visit my sister and other cousin at their apartment and DIDN'T TELL THEM #so now they're both infected and sick although the cousin luckily 'just' has a headache #and two other friends of my sister who visited her at the weekend are possibly also infected #one of them is a fucking idiot and still goes to uni with many many people in the classroom #anyway they were there saturday. the infected kids were there friday. so if my aunt and cousin had just TOLD my sister + other cousin #that the aunt was infected and the kids had been there #AND HAD NOT SENT THE KIDS *WHO ALREADY HAD TESTED POSITIVE* there then all this bullshit would not have happened #in conclusion: fuck anti-vaxxers and people knowingly endangering others and those who put their own comfort and convenience #over the safety of idk neighbors friends classmates work colleagues the entire country and world #also that friend of who the pandemic really didn't bring out the best in her #covid-19 #upset rant noises #and very fuck you rant noises #mine #seriously if you refuse to get vaccinated and get sick i hope you're miserable #absolutely miserable but not bad enough to take up icu beds who are needed for people with heart attacks etc etc #i hope you're miserable and regret not getting vaccinated and that you'll feel the effects for a long long time #also if you end up in the icu and someone who is vaccinated and also needs a bed and there's none left anymore: fuck you #you can give up your bed for someone who tried not to get sick. you can die for all i care #<< this is all about people who COULD get vaccinated but don't #obviously not directed at people who can't get vaccinated #but if you can and don't: fuck you deeply and you deserve everything bad that's coming for you #no one @ me that you shouldn't wish bad things upon people i don't care anymore #the vaccines have been out for three quarters of a year if you still refuse to get informed and get if you can choke for all i care

[maeamian]

`

#I will say for all that those posts pointing out patents not distro is the main issue with global vaccine equity are right #IDK what I a US citizen am supposed to do about it #I yell at every single elected official I have regularly and none of them give a fuck #I can't make the senate not a fundamentally undemocratic body on my own nor does Joe Biden listen to me even a little #I can try to contribute to a public pressure campaign about it but our government does not meaningfully reflect the will of the public #IDK this isn't to like despair about it but also I just don't see a usable way to radicalize myself more here #It takes multiple weeks to get a condescending response from my fucking city councilor for god's sake you think I'm gonna move the WH? #Genuinely if you've got an idea for how to act on this that won't be spinning my wheels in the mud I'm all ears #I'm aware of the crimes of my govrernment but have no meaningful say in them! I also want them to stop!!! #Like if I had any sort of a say we'd have healthcare by now but we obviously don't #I even yell at the state and city ones it doesn't matter! #I rarely yell at my county supervisor tho she's pretty on the ball comparatively #But I've yelled at everyone who theoretically might matter for me to yell at about this and it's still all theory

[avintagekiss24]

Hi! I don't want to start anything on here and am always willing for civil conversations. At this point there's so much I've found out about Seb (besides the video he liked, the tommy lee thing, and the girlfriend thing) that I feel so guilty if I would continue to support him. I love him sm but it just doesn't look good rn. He is associated/follows an organisation (for helping veterans) that has posted a blue lives matter flag picture and who's co-founder has sexual assault allegations against him, and worked with him in 'The last full measure'. His friend Paul Walter Hauser has done blackface in the past, and when called out on it he just listed a few people that also did blackface. There's more, I found a discussion on here that I can link. I seriously don't support "cancel culture" bc I don't think it helps anyone but there are just a lot of 'mistakes' and shady people that can be linked to Seb, I wish it wouldn't be that way. I honestly don't know what to think about it anymore.

Hi! I’m also open to having civil conversations and I don’t believe you’re trying to start anything. I really do think this situation of dragging up a four year old video and taking it completely out of context is harmful not just to Black people, but to fandom/activism in general. This is gonna be long because I’m going to take your points one by one, and I want to preface this by saying that I will not answer any derogatory, sideways asks pertaining to this subject. I will delete every single one and will block your silly ass. I’m not going to argue with people who think I’m blindly supporting Sebastian because I’m just trying to get fucked by him, or people who think I hate myself and am trying to appease some white man.

So, on with the discourse!

The video he liked - this video was taken completely out of context and that is my main issue with this whole situation. It was not a video of a white man saying that he thinks he should be able to say the n word as everyone claimed it was. They were quickly debating on whether or not it's okay to say in rap lyrics. He was told no, that's not okay, that's never okay and they moved on from it. That's it. End of story. That somehow was twisted into a click bait style headline of "Sebastian Stan likes a video of a white man defending his right to say the n word" when that is absolutely not true. My other issue is that people are more upset that Sebastian liked the video than they are about the white man in the video literally saying the n word. So, do you really care about the use of the n word like you're claiming? Cuz if you do, you'd be more upset at the white man that said the word than you would be about the white man simply liking the video. Or, are you just using this as an excuse to grandstand against a white man you don't like?

The Tommy Lee thing - Sebastian Stan playing Tommy Lee does not make Sebastian Stan a bad person. Is Charlize Theron a bad person for playing Aileen Wuornos, a prostitute who started murdering men? Is Leonardo DiCaprio a bad person for playing a slave owner? Is Edward Norton a bad person for playing a nazi sympathizing racist? Actors play bad people. That doesn't mean that they themselves are bad people. 1990's Tommy Lee was a bad person, but that should have no bearing on who Sebastian Stan is or his character as a man.

The gf/Paul Walter Hauser thing - Why are we holding Sebastian accountable for what the people around him are doing? Again, why are we more upset that Sebastian is associated with people who have done questionable things than the specific people themselves? I'm not going to speak on the kimono wearing -- I'm not Asian. It's not my place to say whether or not its offensive because it's not my culture, but she posted that picture and attended that party before she started dating Sebastian, quite possibly before she even knew him. Same with Paul. I think that black face thing was long before he knew Sebastian. Now, if Sebastian was defending these actions, going around saying "I think it's okay for white women to wear Kimono's" "I think black face is fine" "I think white people should be able to say the n word" then we'd have a different story, wouldn't we? But that's not what we have, and that's not what he is doing. He is not responsible for the things his friends do or have done in the past just because he's more famous than they are, and he is not required to speak on them. Let's put it this way -- would you be comfortable having to be responsible for something a friend of yours did before you knew them? Would you want to have to be forced to answer for your friend when you yourself had nothing to do with the questionable behavior?

The organization that supports the military/blue lives matter - Sebastian cannot control what message that foundation puts out and it does not mean that he is or is not pro-police himself. There is not enough concrete evidence -- if any evidence for that matter -- that Sebastian is a blue lives matter supporter. Did Sebastian donate before they put up the blue lives matter post? Or after? I don’t know, cuz I don’t follow him that closely, but if he donates before they come out with a particular stance, that means he should be held accountable for that? I know I donated to an organization once and they turned out to support something that i’m 100% against. That means I’m a bad person because I couldn’t see into the future? Another point, how can we be certain that Sebastian saw the blue lives matter post in the first place? I know I’m not online 24 hrs a day, I miss posts all the time and I’m just an average person. I make three or four tumblr posts a day, and I’m gone. I have to play catch up on social media, and even then, I still miss stuff. So I’m sure the same happens to a working actor. As for the co-founder, I don't know who this person is and would rather not get into any allegations against them because I don't want to trigger anyone who comes across this post. If Sebastian knows about these allegations, is a willing participant/supporter of this person then yeah, that's pretty shitty, but we don't know the inner workings of this friendship/acquaintance/work relationship. We don’t know how close they are or if they even still speak.

I’m a pretty big fan of Don Cheadle. He’s a stand up guy, he’s a great actor, he’s funny, he’s political and stands up for what he believes in and in a very public way. I support him. Don Cheadle is also friends with Chris Evans, RDJ, Mark Ruffalo, and Letitia Wright (just to name a few). Chris Evans has a bipartisan forum that highlights/promotes right wing politicians, RDJ defended Chris Pratt during the whole “he’s the worst Chris in Hollywood” crap, who’s technically done black face, and who once said to a female reporter “nice tits” when she walked into the room, Mark Ruffalo just walked back his support of Palestine, and Letitia Wright retweeted/supported an anti-vaxxer/anti-trans Pastor who equated an ingredient of the covid vaccine to the devil because it contained some parts of the word Lucifer. Does that mean Don is now a bad person because he’s friends with these people? Why isn’t he getting any heat for his friendships with them? Why isn’t he being held accountable for what they’ve done and said? Oh right, because he’s not a white fave. So people don’t care one way or the other, which brings me to my next point. 

I can guarantee you that if Sebastian’s gf or Paul or this co-founder were not associated with Sebastian in any way, nobody would give a shit about her wearing a kimono, about Paul doing black face, or about the co-founder/organization being blue lives matter supporters and in that lies the actual problem. Being critical of people and their actions should be consistent and should happen all the time -- not just when they interact with your white fave. That’s when it becomes performative and looks like you just want to be able to show internet people that you follow/support/stan unproblematic celebrities, when really, you don’t care.

I think the moral of this post is that I think it's unfair to hold a complete stranger to a standard that I cannot hold myself to. I also don't view celebrities the way most teenagers/twenty somethings do, and that’s because when I entered fandom we didn't have social media, so I grew up with a wall between myself and said celebrities. There is no wall now with the presence of social media. "Fans" nowadays have a weird ownership feeling over celebrities because they can read their personal thoughts or view personal pictures and think that they have this personal quasi-friendship with them. I can't get on board with that. I prefer having the wall and I still keep the wall.

If supporting Sebastian makes you uncomfortable, then by all means, stop supporting him. Just make sure you are making this decision for yourself based on credible sources and concrete evidence and that you're not letting this fake woke activist mob make you feel uncomfortable. Internet activism means nothing unless you put your money where your mouth is in your real life and 90% of the social justice internet warriors do not. Real activism is bigger than changing your avi to a black square.

#asks #answered #sebastian stan

[the-ghost-king]

Schizophrenic Nico, here's why I think it's possible:

I want to start off by saying these are just my thoughts, there is no one way to be schizophrenic or to have schizophrenia. It's also important to note that many of the schizophrenic symptoms overlap with other mental illnesses/nuerodivergences like ADHD, Autism, Depression, and OCD which I know many people who head canon Nico as having. I'm not arguing schizophrenic Nico is more correct, more canon, or more right, but to explain some thoughts on why I think it's possible/very likely he does so I can use this for future reference in various thing.

I am using the term schizophrenia as a catchall for all "types" of schizophrenia, but not for schizoaffective disorder which I would say Nico probably doesn't have.

Children born in the winter/those who were "sickly" as babies are more likely to develop schizophrenia. It may also be possible if your mother was sick while pregnant with you, or having a father who was significantly older when he had you.

A stressful life, especially trauma, are more likely to develop schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. It likely has something to do with excessive dopamine production, but it may also have something to do with the same genes that control the sleep-wake cycle. Schizophrenia is more common with other mental illnesses or with other nuerodivergences or developmental delays.

Common symptoms include:

Hallucinations

Delusions

Disorganized thinking

lack of motivation

slow movement

change in sleep patterns

poor grooming or hygiene

changes in body language and emotions

less interest in social activities

Now what does this mean for Nico, and why do I think it's likely he has Schizophrenia?

Let's start with Nico's childhood, "children born in the winter/those who were "sickly" as babies are more likely to develop schizophrenia". Although Rick proposed two birthdays for Nico, the fandom generally accepted the January date more fully. We also know that Nico is described as small when he was younger, smallness is common in children who grow up sickly, but it is also common in children who's mother was ill while pregnant with them. We obviously don't know if Nico was sick as a kid, or if Maria was sick while pregnant with him, but again being born in the winter makes these things more likely, as well as consideration for the time period Nico grew up in and the larger variety of illnesses going around at the time. (He is vaccinated against some things though).

Trauma and Nico... do I really have to go into super detail on this one? He spent his childhood growing up in a fascist country that was extremely racist/anti-Semitic/homophobic/etc, his mom died when he was a child- in front of him, his father intentionally gave him amnesia, his sister died when he was a child, he then proceeded to become homeless living/spending lots of time with Minos who verbally (and possibly physically) abused him, becoming aware of his past memories, becoming aware of the fact that many people hated him because of his father and because they thought he was joining the other side (therefore, he was "bad"), he fought in many battles as a child, fought monsters alone, was often faced with life or death situations, went to Tartarus alone (where the goddess of misery told him he was "perfect"), was trapped in a hostage situation with little/no air for a long time while people debated whether or not to save him, was outed against his will, was freed only to travel again fighting monsters and then win a battle, was eventually made to quest with Apollo despite still having lots of healing to do in ToN. So stressful life? Fuck yeah, that doesn't being to cover it.

Genetic factors, obviously nothing here is confirmed so I'm speculating a little bit again, but the common idea in regards to Hades children through the series is that they are "bad". Mental illnesses have been stigmatized for hundreds, if not thousands of years, and often mentally ill people were made out to be weird/bad/etc. It's more than possible there is some sort of genetic factor taking place, also "having a father who was significantly older when he had you". Although I doubt godly genes work the same as mortal ones (trust me I have lots of thoughts on how god genetics/DNA work, but that's not the point right now), I think Hades being the oldest out of all his brothers and having a reputation for having "questionable" children says something... We have no information on Maria's family history at all.

As for schizophrenia often occurring with other mental illnesses and/or neurodivergences: Nico canonically is implied to have either ADHD and/or Autism, and is canonically stated to have PTSD. I think most people would agree that saying Nico has or has had depression isn't a stretch in the slightest.

So canonically we can all agree Nico has severe trauma and coinciding mental health issues/neurodivergences, so out of 4 possible issues I’ve first presented we guaranteeably have two. If I wanted to stretch this a little I would give myself a half point for him being born in the winter and a half point for the aspect of Hades genetics but I won’t do that.

On top of that schizophrenia usually appears during teenage and young adult years in people who receive diagnosis; most people live with mental illness for a few months or a few years in some cases before they're able to receive a diagnosis. Nico being 15 (16 by the end of ToN/shortly following the end of ToN) is about the age that schizophrenia would start to make an appearance. It's also more likely to be found in men, with men also noticing the appearance of schizophrenia appearing early in their lives, and experiencing more negative symptoms in comparison to the higher commonality of affective symptoms in women. That's a really complicated explanation to basically say there's 3 more things that would make Nico having schizophrenia make more sense.

Alright, let’s go back to the list of symptoms I provided:

Hallucinations

Delusions

Disorganized thinking

lack of motivation

slow movement

change in sleep patterns

poor grooming or hygiene

changes in body language and emotions/behavior

less interest in social activities

Once again, some of these are not solely related to schizophrenia and can be the result of other mental health issues, I’m just going to go down the list and add in some moments from the books in which Nico shows some of these traits/behaviors.

Delusions/Hallucinations (more later)

Our best chances for understanding Nico's thought process is in Blood of Olympus where he has a P.O.V... Sometimes Nico's thoughts do derail, or sometimes they get a little confusing, but not always, and when talking to others he is consistent and aware of what he's saying, as well as blunt. Anything "off" about his thought patterns to me just seems like ADHD..

Dietary changes (whether or not you think he has an eating disorder) are behavioral changes (I personally think Nico has AFRID)

Within House of Hades Nico's poor sleep patterns are constantly referenced, and I'll give him a pass on poor hygiene because he's in the middle of a quest but still..

I have extremely complicated feelings on what Will says here, it's possible Nico is an extremely unreliable narrator (unlikely, it seems many people are bothered by him and only maybe a handful aren't), I've also thought at many points this was Rick trying to backtrack some stuff with Nico because he realized he'd made his story a little too harsh for a kids book, it could also be Will's trauma kicking in and that happening... I'm not counting it as full proof about Nico disliking social interactions, but Nico does try to leave even after this conversation and isn't convinced to stay until the last chapter, so maybe there's something to be said about people's dislike of him for being a Hades kid- but I think it's fair to say Nico also dislikes people at least some because he doesn't have interest in trying to befriend anyone either, and is quick to assume all people dislike him (paranoia/low self esteem/and some other possible stuff). There's lots of discussions to be had about this quote and other similar ones, and I don't think a broad brush approach of "Nico good everyone else bad" is accurate it's more, "Nico is good but he fails to try and you have to work on your own mental health everyone won just go to you, and also people dislike Nico for silly reasons and need to get over themselves and make an effort too". (I'm extremely oversimplifying my thoughts and feelings to keep it brief.)

More on delusions and hallucinations:

Now I want to state that lots of schizophrenia symptoms share a lot of commonalities with ADHD and with depression, so although I might include some moments you think are just ADHD/depression I wouldn’t necessarily disagree with you but they could also be schizophrenia or coexisting mental health issues/divergences. I also went through the DSM-5 for schizophrenia (the DSM-5 is just this big book with lists and it’s how doctors diagnose any mental health issue/divergence), I also looked through the DSM-IV (an older book from before DSM-5 which is no longer really used) and the differences between the diagnosis was fairly minimal but they quit categorizing types of schizophrenia and instead rely more on a couple of word descriptions that seem more in line with a spectrum rather than a checkable box.

In order to receive a schizophrenia diagnosis, two (or more) of the following, each present for a significant portion of time during a 1-month period (or less if successfully treated), and at least one of these symptoms must be (1), (2), or (3):

Delusions

Hallucinations

Disorganized speech (frequent derailment or incoherence)

Grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior

Negative symptoms (i.e., diminished emotional expression or avolition).

It’s important to note that only one of these need to be checked off/true if the patient has voices which narrate their actions/behaviors/thoughts or if the person has more than one voice conversing with each other.

Nico deals with auditory hallucinations (2), he believes the voice belongs to Bob, his titan friend he left in Tartarus:

However this isn’t and immediate diagnosis because Bob’s voice doesn’t talk to another voice(s) in Nico’s head, and we don’t know if Nico has voices running commentary on his behaviors/thoughts.

The reason I state we are unaware if Nico has commentary isn’t because Nico hasn’t said anything, but because many people with schizophrenia before their diagnosis believe the narrative voices are just their thoughts and are a normal internal monologue- usually patients don’t realize anything is wrong until the voices start providing commentary on their actions so instead of “washing the dishes now” the voice(s) might say “wash the dishes now, you’re so lazy you can’t do anything, idiot” during a period of psychosis which may help them acknowledge that the voice(s) isn’t the way most people experience internal voice(s). It is very possible Nico is unaware he is experiencing narrative thoughts and simply assumes that his experience is something most people have, but I won’t use this to argue my point because it’s not confirmation of anything.

Returning now to Bob, Nico knows he is hearing Bob’s voice but he believes Bob is calling to him from Tartarus. Now, Nico says the voices are calling to him from Tartarus but there’s no confirmation of this anywhere… What I think is happening is Nico has a guilty conscience. He feels bad for “using” Bob to get out of Tartarus and various other things, so he feels bad that he is still down there. However, we don’t really know if Bob is calling to him or if Bob is able to do that- what I personally think is happening here is Nico’s brain is convincing Nico that Bob needs him because Nico is upset with himself for not helping Bob more, but also because Nico has never “sat still” before without a quest. Nico has also always felt the want to be needed/important...

It very well could be a delusion.

Schizophrenic patients often experience delusions which make them think they are destined for greatness, or that they have some divine/high force calling out to them for help that only they can provide. It’s an extremely common thing in individuals who experience delusions, and is in fact one of the most common delusions experienced. So although Bob could really be calling out to Nico, I don’t think he is, it doesn’t entirely make sense and there’s lots of little things which point to it being not entirely real- like the fact that nobody else knows about it? Or how absolutely sure Nico is that he need to return to Tartarus? It seems like a mixture of PTSD, delusions, and trauma response (returning to the trauma), working against him. I’ll say delusion is very likely (1).

Using these two factors alone there’s sufficient evidence for diagnosis, but let’s keep going just to see.

For disorganized speech (3) this isn’t something Nico seems to struggle with, and even if he did “derailing” could be ADHD or Autism, so I don’t think this symptom pertains to him.

Changes in behavior (4), seem to all be explainable via depression and/or PTSD- he has begun to express emotion again in Tower of Nero upon learning of Jason’s death he is said to be upset by Will and he walks off to be alone, seems like depression to me. Emotional/Behavior changes from schizophrenia tend to relate more to bipolar disorder rather than a depressive disorder, so I would say if Nico has schizophrenia he probably doesn’t have emotional or behavioral changes from it. If he did he might have some catatonic behavior, but this seems to be clearing up some in Tower of Nero so I’m not super sure on that, maybe during bad periods of psychosis behavioral changes occur, but I would lean more towards this isn’t a symptom Nico personally deals with. Negative symptoms (5) tie into this same idea, it’s possible it’s schizophrenia, but it’s more likely PTSD or depression at work.

So why do I care so much about the possibility of Nico being schizophrenic?

I feel like canonically/fanonically making Nico schizophrenic does a few things, firstly schizophrenic rep in media is extremely extremely awful- can you think off the top of your head of a schizophrenic character who isn't from a horror film/a murder/a villain in their own story? Maybe, but personally I can only think of one which is Charlie from Perks of Being a Wallflower- and even then? That's not canon, it's only implied- and it might not even be true

Schizophrenic media representation always paints schizophrenic people as bad, scary, and evil, and although the horror genre is extremely well known for being super ableist, transphobic, racist, homophobic, and misogynistic (just the final cherry on top) having one of the first- if not the first openly confirmed schizophrenic characters in children's media not only be someone who has lots of character development, and isn't a stereotype, but also be someone people have grown up with, cared for, and sympathized with- would be extremely monumental.

People with schizophrenia and other related disorders aren't something to be scared of or to think of as bad, and often times they're more bothered by whatever they're experiencing than you are.

I don't have schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder or anything like that, but I have various undiagnosed mental health issues which often lead to me questioning reality, or having to set aside time to convince myself that no there isn't a man living in my wall... Having a character have to question those things, work through those feelings, and learn to trust themselves and care for themselves even with those difficulties would be really great to see in media, not just for people with schizophrenia but also for people with similar/related disorders who might share symptoms see parts of their own struggles in a good, educative way.

I have to finish this in two parts because tumblr keeps breaking because there's too many words in my post lmao (2nd part here)

#nico di angelo #pjo #hoo #toa #percy jackson #will solace #solangelo

[magical-agatha]

ive been like, stressed and sick and havent been able to leave the house since like january so i hadnt had my 2nd dose of the vaccine, which was stressful as well. recently i decided i just had to force myself to go out and get it no matter how much fallout there would be for my health bc once i got it that would be one less thing to worry about.

my beautiful incredible genius wife had the idea of asking if the pharmacist could swing by our house and vaccinate me that way so i didn't have to fuck myself up going out. and they could which was great so i got my 2nd pfizer shot yesterday.

my arm hurt but aside from that i didn't have much reaction yesterday. maybe a slight headache. was fine still this morning. but had pony dnd today with the polycule, which was so very awesome, but also like. rly exhausting.

the setting is fallout equestria, aka what if fallout happened in the land of my little pony. and its set about 250 years after the show. my character is a like, early 20s unicorn scholarship student at princess celestia's magic/friendship school, but she was failing her classes bc of reasons ill get to.

for anyone who doesn't know, princess celestia is an enormous winged unicorn who is the ruler of the land and has lived for thousands of years and literally controls the sun and moon. and she's like, an absolute sweetheart. very kind and gracious and caring. and she personally mentors a handful of ponies at her school. to various degrees.

in the show she mentors the main character, twilight sparkle, but in the canon of our dnd game she also mentored my character, snowy starsparkle. the show has a habit of making foil characters for twilight, often as villains who get redeemed later thru the magic of friendship, theres like 6 or 7 of them. so i decided that i was going to make a twilight foil. they go to the same school and have similar specialties and cutie marks and even names. they're both like, dorky book nerds who care way too much about being smart and good at magic. but snowy is always just a little bit behind twilight. and secretly hates her for it. ofc twilight has no idea who she is. but twilights the smartest and shes celestia's favourite too. so of course snowy develops an unhealthy obsession with competing with twilight and getting celestia's attention.

and then the show happens and twilight leaves magic school to go study friendship in ponyville, leaving behind snowy and totally oblivious to the one sided rivalry. with twilight gone snowy becomes top of the class, but without the rivalry and jealousy motivating her she quickly falls behind. to the point where shes at the bottom and is in danger of flunking out. or whatever the term is. celestia tries to help her where she can but she's busy and its never enough bc there's like a core motivation problem. celestia is considering sending her somewhere to make friends and take a break from her studies like she did with twilight.

snowy eventually decides she needs to cheat. if she cheats for a month or two she can take some pressure off herself and then like, she can catch back up she's sure of it. so she starts looking into magical artifacts that boost the power of a unicorn. goes to some village in the middle of nowhere based on a hint in a book, finds an amulet in a cave, then slips and falls into a crevice, smashing the amulet and getting herself frozen for 250 years. being eventually excavated by mercenaries sent to find the amulet she broke. etc etc.

everyone she ever knew is dead and gone and her whole life is turned upside down. her home town of canterlot is basically magic chernobyl but the elephant's foot is a pink acidic radioactive magic slime cloud covering the ruins of her whole personal world and polluting the rivers passing nearby the canterlot ruins. everyone is dead and gone except maybe celestia.

anyway the point is i decided she definitely has some sort of mental problems. but also her private obsession with celestia's approval has a very strong overlap with her like, being gay and not having time or the right support or info to realise that she is gay. there's like a whole Thing there i think. unresolved closet horse lesbian who's deeply in love with the goddess who has been helping her learn magic.

except now 250 years have suddenly passed and the world has been nuked and she was trapped in a crystal being mutated by the magic of an ancient and powerful ice amulet, and she has become an immortal undead wellspring of incredible icy power. but also she needs to make friends and survive in a hostile wasteland where might makes right and you're constantly pressured to kill to survive. and celestia apparently retired as ruler and vanished while snowy was frozen.

its a whole thing. but anyway the point is the vaccine started fucking with me today and dnd wore me out so im rly nauseous and a bit just. scrambled and incredibly drained mentally and snowy is like. partially a self insert ponysona and maybe ive been fixating a little bit on princess celestia for the last few hours.

she's an immortal goddess who's incredibly powerful but she's also like. so unfalteringly kind and gracious and full of love and wants to see the best in everyone?? oh and she's like. twice the height of the average pony. shes like 8ft tall. she's like if lady dimitrescu wasnt evil. i think its perfectly reasonable to be like a little in lesbians with her especially if you've accidentally created a whole like noncanon story about a self insert pony who's desperate for her approval and maybe you have like some issues you need to work out. basically what im saying is in all ways except physical im definitely like a pony and celestia is definitely like transgender and i love her. and maybe im subtly blaming all this on being sick rn bc of the vaccine bc im like embarrassed.

i am also rly sick lol i am soooo full of vaccine 😳💓❄️

#hashtag blogging with aggy #dont reblog ploxx

[geekwiththegoggles]

So we now have over 120 COVID+ patients in-house here. It's like that almost everywhere in my county.

Since the government and by extension, most of the general public, are either pretending this is over or not handling this properly, please. When going ANYWHERE or being around ANYONE who isn't in your immediate circle (i.e. like the people you live with and even then eh) WEAR A MASK. One that covers your nose and mouth, has three layers and fits properly (snug at the cheeks and doesn't pouch or stick out, nose either curves in or has a little wire, bottom tucks snuggly under the chin). Just like, just assume everyone you don't know has COVID. Don't eat in break rooms if you can. Keep your distance reduce time indoors in public.

Hand washing is important too! And if you don't have to be out and about DON'T BE. Hospitals are taxed, emergency rooms are busting. Medical staff WANT TO HELP but are also feeling the direct hits from sick staff too.

Please also keep in mind that if you are fully vaccinated and even got a 3rd dose on board, at this point the vaccine is DOING IT'S JOB by KEEPING YOU OUT OF THE HOSPITAL/ICU/MORGUE. Do not assume you are impervious. Also, at-home tests and rapid tests are convenient and I know how hard it is to get tests in some places, but do remember they were created with certain variants in mind, and so might not give a true positive.

ALSO FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS ABOVE BELOW AND BELIEVED, IF YOU ARE FEELING ANY SYMPTOMS LIKE A RUNNY NOSE OR SCRATCHY/SORE THROAT OR JUST FEEL OFF IN GENERAL STAY. THE FUCK. AT HOME. KEEP A MASK ON IF YOU CAN'T. This INCLUDES BEING AROUND HOUSEMATES. Don't be another spreader event.

I'm not trying to be a buzzkill but like. Please try to keep yourself educated from reputable sources. Use your brain. This COULD have been under control MONTHS ago here in the US. But we can't figure out how to do that, I guess...

#gg ramble #so over it #but like it's bad and only gonna get worse #this variant is so transmissable

[golbrocklovely]

Thank you for being someone who cares enough to not go out, party, etc. I haven't left my backwards assed, rinky dink, trumpie filled, pandemic denying, maskless town of 2000 people since November of 2019 when talk of this thing started. I do everything we are supposed to do - including all the vaccines, masking, sanitizer, hand washing, online college courses, social distancing, shopping at 6am (immune compromised parents) - and I also get frustrated seeing people acting as though it doesn't exist. Thank you, I appreciate your efforts. To keep on track with your blog, I see sam and colby mask occasionally on camera and they've mentioned testing - so at least that's something? Social distancing and limited travel though? Apparently not.

thank you, i appreciate your kind words.

while i would have been doing all of this anyway, 2020 caused a lot of relationships in my life to fall apart, so i lost collectively all of my friend group that i've had since high school. so now i have no friends, and with no friends, kinda means no life outside lol

but knowing my old friends, none of us would have hung out until we were all vaccinated and whatnot. that was kinda the plan anyway before we all broke up.

and then personally for me, i'm a home body regardless. i like staying home and staying inside. the only time i go out into public is to go to work (where i work in retail) and i do all of the food shopping. and the whole time i wear my mask, hand sanitizer, all that jazz. my mom is immune compromised, and the only other person that lives in my house is my brother who i think has gone out twice since the pandemic started lol

i guess that's the slight positive to being really introverted and coming from an introverted family. we like staying indoors and with each other.

and when i got covid (before vaccines were out) i literally hid in my room for days, sprayed down every surface i touched, and only left my room to get food or go to the bathroom. my mom has been sick multiple times before bc of her heart condition, copd, and her rsd which has made her basically unable to walk around. so, i wasn't taking chances with her getting sick.

i've had sick parents my whole life, and i think bc a lot of ppl haven't experienced that (and not that i would wish that on to anyone). i think certain ppl lack the knowledge of what it's like to live in that situation for years on end. how one wrong move could literally kill your family members. the lack of empathy ppl have had during this pandemic is heartbreaking.

that's why i try my best to do what i can to keep the spread from happening. even with everyone in my life that i associate with being vaccinated, i still don't want anyone to get sick. i literally have permanent taste and smell damage from covid. and while that's nothing compared to ppl who have had to be on ventilators, i don't understand why anyone would want to spread an illness around or catch it by not taking precautions. it's all so fucking dumb.

and for snc... i mean, they got vaccinated, they wear masks when they go in public, and they test themselves anytime they travel. while that isn't the most amount of effort, compared to some, it fucking is. and i'll take what i can get at this point.

#ask #personal