#also doesn’t mean it will last forever .. but perhaps that is not always a bad thing and is instead a sign of growth

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

Can I request headcanons for Dammon, Rolan, and Zevlor react to his gn s/o admitting that they have suicidal thoughts?

A/N: Oh, nonnie! *Hugs* This ask was perfect timing because I was struggling with suicidal ideation last week- big time. Me and the kitchen floor were very well acquainted last week. So trust me, I know it’s not easy, but please try and hang in there. These feelings and thoughts, as awful and all-consuming as they are, are still temporary. They will pass. Everything passes eventually. It can’t stay the same forever. So if it’s bad now, just know it won’t always be this way. And in the meantime, I hope these headcanons bring you some comfort. 

TW: Suicidal Thoughts, Mentions of Suicide, Suicidal Ideation 

The BG3 Tiefling Boys Reacting to Their S/O Admiting They Have Suicidal Thoughts 

Dammon: 

Dammon’s taken aback when you tell him. The two of you being a couple has made him so happy, and he’s told you as much. In his enthusiasm, Dammon simply assumed you always felt the same level of elation he did. The fact that you have these sorts of thoughts is all news to him. 

He’s immediately concerned for your safety, worried that any second the thoughts may become too much to bear, and you’ll feel no other choice than to act on them. He contemplates speaking to someone older, someone wiser for advice on what he should do to be a supportive partner. He just wants to get this right. He doesn’t want to add any stress or difficulty to what you’re already going through with any of his reactions or fears. 

Dammon starts checking up on you more often, at random times throughout the day. He’ll take a break from his forging and pop his head inside to find you, wherever you are. Some days he sits with you and talks about the current projects he’s making. Other days the two of you sit in silence, sipping cool glasses of water. Dammon wants to ensure you don’t ever feel as if you’re going through this alone. He wants to show you that he’ll always be nearby, should you need him. 

Dammon will also make you random presents whenever he has a little extra time. It’s not much- a pendant here, or a broach there, a bunch of little things to remind you of him when he can’t be there. 

Dammon suggests you try writing your feelings out in a diary of sorts. And he promises not to peek- it's for your benefit only. His sketchbook helps him so much in trying to overcome a design flaw or difficulty. He thinks, perhaps, if you had more space to expand your feelings and thoughts onto paper, they wouldn't feel as oppressive in your mind.

You find his tail always wrapping around your ankle, or even your waist, when you're at his side. It’s like his tail is telling you what echoes in the subconscious of his mind: Dammon can’t lose you. He’s been through so much already. You have brought so much light and joy into his life. He couldn’t bear to let you go. 

He begs you, to please come to him if you should ever get to a point where you don’t know what else to do. He doesn’t want to lose you. You mean so much to him. Please, let him in. The two of you can weather this together. 

Essentially, Dammon becomes all the more attentive and upfront/vocal about his affection for you. He hopes to shower you in so much love, that the little voice in your head has no chance to bring you down. 

Rolan: 

Rolan is sickened, and just a teensy bit angry. Not at you, but at himself. Hearing you confess to having such thoughts makes him all the more concerned about you. But of course, being the stubborn tiefling he is, Rolan doesn’t know how to say it without sounding like a dick. 

Rolan first considers looking into a spell or enchantment that can do away with such feelings, before you explain to him that, even if that were possible, in the long run, that’s not how these things work. These kinds of things can’t be fixed by magic. And even if there was a spell that might work, it’s not the kind of thing magic should be used to interfere with. This makes Rolan more irritable about the whole thing because he’s spent so long studying, building up his skills to be a wizard. But he hasn’t spent the time working on his emotional intelligence or intimacy prowess. And now, he fears that lack of proficiency may cost him you. 

But he tries! Oh boy, does he try! He’s constantly sending either Lia or Cal to check up on you when he’s too busy to come see you himself. It becomes a bit of an inside joke between the three of you, how large that one vein in Rolan’s forehead becomes whenever Cal or Lia report back to him about you. 

Once Rolan comes to understand you didn’t tell him so he’d be responsible for keeping you under watch, but because you just wanted him to ‘get it’, he becomes much less overbearing in his instructions. Instead of ordering you to go outside for some sun, he’ll offer to take a stroll with you around Sorcerous Sundries. Rather than forcing you to eat every couple of hours, Rolan will show up in your room some night with a select baked goods he picked up from a street vendor for you to share over tea before falling asleep. 

He has difficulty talking about it most days, but he does hold your hands and tell you once, very passionately, that he cares for you, deeply, and he hates to think you were hurting all this time in silence. He asks you to please, please keep sharing your feelings with him. He knows his reactions aren’t always the most encouraging, but he swears that no matter his initial reaction, he will always be on your side. 

Deep down he does want to take care of you, he feels responsible for your well-being. It’s rather similar to how he feels responsible for providing for Lia and Cal. But with you, it’s all the more profound. There’s no point in him studying to become the greatest wizard in Baldur’s Gate if you’re not at his side. Without you, very little would seem worth it.  

Zevlor:

Zevlor is alarmed, and immediately all the more worried about your well-being. Zevlor was already anxious before about the two of you being together, thinking of himself as undeserving. He felt he was too old, too damaged, and too changed to be a man worthy of your affections. Becoming an official couple quieted most of those doubts but hearing you confess that you harbor such thoughts brings all his insecurities back to the forefront. 

Is it something he’s done? Is it something he didn’t do? Is it his fault? He’s already apologizing profusely before you can even get a word in edgewise. You are so incredible, he thinks you’re so brilliant. The fault must lie with him. 

Once you explain how it’s not anybody’s fault, neither his nor yours, Zevlor seems to settle a little. He still worries a great deal about you, probably the most out of all the tieflings, because he knows the exact desperation you’re feeling. He’s felt it before. He’s felt it a few times throughout his life actually. 

As a Hellrider, Zevlor saw a great deal of conflict. And when Elturel fell into Avernus, he was forced to endure even more. There’s so much pain and suffering in the world that when you’re stuck in the middle of it, it often seems like there’s no way out. 

Because Zevlor has felt such lows before, he also knows there isn’t always much you can do to stop it right away. Yes, you can meditate or talk your feelings out or perhaps write them down in a journal or log, but there’s no quick fix. It’s a heavy burden you must carry, even as you look out into the coming horizon. 

The one thing Zevlor knows he can do is help you carry the load. Zelvor reminds you that you are not alone in this fight. Granted, he may no longer be the paladin he once was, but that will not stop him from aiding you the best he can. He’ll pay you extra attention, and spend more quality time with you. He’ll sit with you and rub your back as you cry. And on the days it's all just too much to take, Zevlor will stay in bed with you, his tail curled around your leg, his claws scratching gently through your hair as you lay there hiding away from the world. 

If your feelings ever get worse, Zevlor might consider recommending you speak to someone who perhaps can help, more than he can help you alone. A cleric or a monk, a druid… Anyone. Zevlor knows from his fellow veterans- there are more people out there living with the exact same feelings as you. Perhaps being able to attend a group setting to talk, as he does on occasion with his former Hellriders from Elturel, would help strengthen you on your continued journey.  

Zevlor approaches the situation with much more wisdom and understanding. He works to comfort you the best he can, but he also possesses enough humility to let you grieve as needed. 

#dammon x reader #zevlor x reader #rolan x reader #bg3 x reader #bg3 imagine #bg3 #hc #baldurs gate x reader #baldurs gate 3 imagine #baldurs gate 3 x reader

[scarletslippers]

Why I'm Okay with Nancy/Tristan Having a "Soulmate" Connection and What That Means for Nace

Okay, this is going to be less of a theory explanation than a deep dive into the most prevalent (?) theory I've read/the theory I subscribe to, and why I think it's going to play out in an amazing and satisfying way for our beloved star-crossed lovers.

First, the theory: Tristan is the Sin Eater, destined to reincarnate throughout time and consume the sins of Horseshoe Bay. After what we've seen in 4x10 (the *spark*, "We've walked this path many times before.", "It was like he knew you."), it seems Nancy is some kind of light-energy-Sin Eater-counterpart. An Angel of Truth, perhaps? It seems she is also destined to reincarnate throughout eternity in order to reveal the truths of Horseshoe Bay.

Why I love this theory: Nancy is passionate about finding out the truth and has a dedication to honesty. It's ingrained in her from a young age, and plays a huge role in why she solves mysteries and how she navigates her relationships. She solved the biggest mystery of all (her own heritage) by "always seeking out the truth, even when it hurts.” Just like Kate taught her. And every single one of her relationships is colored by it—Nick pulling away because she wouldn’t be honest with him. Uncovering that Ace was lying and working for McGinnis. Pushing Bess to reveal her real identity. The list goes on.

We’ve also known Nancy to lie when it’s incredibly important for her—Recanting her testimony and destroying her credibility to save Ace’s life, lying by omission to Ace about the curse to keep him safe.

(also Carson calls Nancy their “better angel” and wow do I love a show that makes things work from 2 seasons ago).

How I think it will play out for Nace: Right now, Nancy seems pretty heavily into this so-called “romantic” connection with Tristan, and Ace seems rather forgotten doesn’t he? She talks about him as an “ex” and that Tristan is an “open and honest” communicator, and a “mature” relationship, implying that those things aren’t/weren’t true about Ace, which we all know is obviously not true.

But we learned that Nancy was the last sinner. Personally, I think (and hope) that Nancy’s confessed sin was about (momentarily) giving up HB in order to have a future with Ace. However, regardless of what the sin is, it’s HIGHLY likely that it is Ace and curse related, and if it’s Ace and curse related that means Nancy’s, and Ace’s (...and the crew’s, and the dads’, and…everyone’s) memories are altered. And you know what? If your memories are altered in some way that makes you forget you are cursed or forget that you love someone, this mystical Sin Eater/Angel of Truth soul spark connection thing is gonna feel pretty darn romantic to you.

So what happens when the truth is revealed? We have two truths to uncover here: Nancy’s sin, and the truth about what she is/her past lives.

Number 1: Revealing Nancy’s sin will help her see her relationships more clearly and remember her relationship with Ace. Remember, “our memories make us who we are and that is worth fighting for.”, and we have seen Nancy fight tooth and nail for Ace this season, every fight/break-up they had about their relationship and the curse being colored by their desperation to be together. When that comes rushing back, it’s going to be a big shift. Nancy tells Ace “That's all you're really left with... just messy, stupid memories that stick around, and... good or bad, you get to make more of them.” Nancy has memories with Ace and she’s going to fight for them. She’s going to fight to make more memories with him.

Number 2: We already see Nancy feel pretty strongly about freeing Tristan from his fate as the Sin Eater, and wanting to stop him from having to be reincarnated forever. When she finds out she’s the same, she’s going to fight to end it for herself too. So much of Nancy’s life has been fated/determined—being a Hudson, learning her life was a lie, being taken in by the Drews (Yes, they choose to raise her but did they really have the option to say no? Come on, it’s Carson and Kate), and now this? And so much of Nancy’s life has been about clinging to normalcy. She just wanted to go to Columbia to get away, to be normal. To have a regular family and regular friends. She didn’t ask to be pulled into a murder case and to hunt down supernatural killers. She didn’t ask to be haunted by Lucy Sable. She didn’t ask to be some supernatural reincarnated truth entity.

Nace is endgame. We know this. And right now the ‘star-crossed lovers’ of it all has taken on a new twist. Once cursed to not be together, we now learn that one of them is reincarnated and the other is not. Unable to even spend eternity together.

(Yes, I have Thoughts and Theories on how Nancy putting Ace’s name in the jar at the Lover’s Vigil may have created some connection here, perhaps forging an eternal/after death bond that wasn’t there before. And I also have Thoughts and Theories about that ‘mystical wedding vibe’ of the curse break attempt in 4x03 and how in a wedding ‘two shall become one’ and maybe now their souls are bonded which could influence everything, but that’s A Whole ‘Nother Post.)

So Nancy is going to choose Ace. Break out of whatever Truth/Sin eternal connection this is and choose Ace. Remember that Carson said “maybe we get more than one [soulmate]”, and he also told Nancy “You control your fate. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” Maybe Tristan is Nancy’s supernatural soulmate, but Ace is Nancy’s person and she’s going to choose him.

The Naceplications:

Here’s why that’s an incredible thing for Nace, and is going to be an important thing for their character arcs, both individually, and as a couple.

Ace needs to be chosen. Ace struggles with insecurities of feeling lost, without purpose, and being unworthy. So much of Ace's life has been about proving himself—proving to his father he’s not a child and can make adult decisions, proving to McGinnis he’s not a screw up after he got caught hacking that database, proving his worth to Grant even as a brother by helping him, proving to Nancy he’s worth her time and attention by trying to always help her (and only in 4x06 does he realize maybe that’s flawed).

But what he doesn’t realize is he’s always been enough just how he is. Nancy loves him just how he is. She opens up to him about tanking her grades, tells him he’s brilliant when he starts making connections with Charity (actually Hannah) in 3x09, tells him “You never were [lacking].”, or even when she tells him in 4x08 “You really showed up for me, I noticed.” by knowing Kate’s anniversary, giving Nancy the necklace while in his body, supporting her breaking and entering. Those weren’t about doing stuff for her but just being there for her. Him. His presence.

So for Ace to learn she’s some immortal-truth-light-being-thing that’s been reincarnated and has this counterpart connection to the Sin Eater, he's going to think he has no chance against that, right? Of course she’ll choose Tristan. Except Nancy can’t lose him. Nancy is willing to and has risked it all to save him, to be with him, multiple times. He doesn’t think he’s good enough, and yet she chooses him.

Nancy needs to be chosen, too. She feels abandoned by everyone in her life (losing her mom, losing her perceptions of her family/her parents, even losing Lucy to an extent), and she feels that so much is out of her control. Nancy worries that she’s only the worst parts of everyone who came before her, and in light of everything—being a source of light and good, reincarnated throughout time—how much of her life was her choice? Does she solve supernatural mysteries because it’s a connection deep in her bones? In her soul?

She’s prickly and complicated and messy and has walls ten miles high, and she needs someone who will choose her through it all. Ace is that person.

There’s a recurring theme of choice for the two of them across the show. Think about Ace knowing there is a choice beyond something that’s bonded to your soul after his connection with Charity. Think about Ace remaining in Horseshoe Bay and telling Laura “I believe I have a purpose here.” Think about Nancy making the unthinkable choice, but saying “Blind spots, Temperance. I choose this.” Think about Nancy and Ace reading emails that say “I want to be with you. I don’t care what anyone else says.”

Think about Nancy, an Angel of Truth, tied eternally to a Sin Eater, choosing a mortal life. Choosing to be with the man she loves.

Think about her turning away from eternal reincarnation and saying “I face the mystery of this journey with courage because it is with you.” “In this world that tries to silence me the most dangerous words I can speak are that I love you.”

Think about how “it’s always been about love” and Nancy is choosing who she loves, not who she’s connected to through fate.

Love is an action, and love is a choice. Love is putting someone else’s needs first and choosing that person over and over. And really, someone that chooses you is far more romantic than a predestined soulmate anyway.

#nace #nancy drew cw #nancy drew spoilers #cw nancy drew #nancy and ace #nancy drew meta #i need a meta tag #my meta #scarletslippers posts #it’s about CHOICE. it’s about FREE WILL. it’s about CHOOSING WHO YOU LOVE

[doro6o]

pre-re6! ada wong x agent! reader

cw: mentions of sex, mentions of death, angst, infidelity, ooc ada, reader’s kinda an asshole, shitty ending so sorry, not proofread.

...

in this line of work, ada was always doomed to die. one way or another. ada knew the minute she accepted her first job as a mercenary would not only cost her humanity but also her life. she knew that she would be killed one day, hence why she always looked back on her shoulder.

ada tells herself that she isn’t afraid of death, that the idea of dying doesn’t scare her but that was complete bullshit – as you called it. ada was no different from the rest, she values her life a lot more than she admits to despite her persistence. the only thing she has left is her life and it is her only treasure; no amount of money or gold or whatever divine temptation they could send to her that will make her give up her own life. she had come so far so why must she give it up now?

just from the way she speaks, ada was oozies of sex. every little thing about her was sensual even if it was against her knowledge. it was out of instinct. her whole life she’s gotten whatever she wants in two ways; killing or sex. she prefers to go with the latter despite the first option being a lot easier and less messier.

perhaps that’s why she’s tangled between these silky sheets that smell a lot like you. your bare scarred arm wrapped around her naked torso, hand sprawled against her back, your warmth radiating off her sweaty body and she shivers ever so lightly when she feels your finger tapping onto her spine.

getting involved with you is difficult and messy. especially if you’re on the other side of the coin. ada thinks everything would be much easier if you chose the mercenary life instead of devoting your life to protecting those arrogant stupidly rich people.

as the raven-haired woman lays in your bed, her mind slowly wanders to thoughts that she prefers to not think of; what would it be like you two have met under normal circumstances? would you even ever meet? what if you weren’t a government property? would you still be with her under these satin sheets or what if you were a normal person? would you still look at her with softness in your eyes and kiss her scars? worshiping her like she’s your god like you do now?

ada could feel her rapid heartbeat in her head and she fears you could hear it. hear how her heart threatens to jump out of her chest. know how much she needs you, god, ada needs you so desperately in many ways that she couldn’t even list them down. yeah, this has gotten out of hand.

“what are you thinking, my love?” the sleepy murmur of your voice snaps the mercenary out of her thoughts.

ada glances down at you, your head laying on her chest and you looked so peaceful. she hopes this could last forever. “is someone nervous?” the teasing tilt of your voice made her scoff rather playfully.

“you’re growing delusional, agent.” she states in a stern tone to which you only chuckle. she feels your chest rumble against her skin. “maybe giving you a chance was a bad idea.”

your head shot up at that sentence, “don’t say that.” your bottom lip juts out. “i know you don’t mean that.” you add, placing your head back down just above her right tit.

ada’s hand wanders to your arm, her nails scratch your skin and you let out a satisfied hum, her eyes flutter shut.

“what makes you say that?” she knew the answer to that but she asked anyway.

“you’re in my bed,” you smirked. “in my house, ada. oh and not to mention, you’re still here with me.” you state it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

this makes a small smile crack to her face and ada can’t help the breathless chuckle that leaves her. she feels your fingers freezing for a second before returning to caressing her sides. she feels you shift above her then something damp and soft on her collarbones.

ada cracks an eye open, watching you pepper kisses that slowly trails up to her neck, then jaw, face. your lips hovering centimeters away from hers. you stare at her with a glint in your eyes before moving back to lay on her chest again. a sigh leaves her nostrils earning a giggle from you.

“sounds like my baby’s disappointed,” you teased. your hand coming up and down her body leaving her feeling ticklish against the sensation of your calloused hands.

she feels her stomach turn from the nickname. geez agent, don’t call her that unless you want her to throw up from the lovesickness she feels for you.

“don’t call me baby.” she warns you and you only pinch her skin gently.

“yeah? what ya gon’ do about it, baby?” you rhetorically asked, not bothering to look up to see the bright color of her cheeks.

seriously, you’ll be the death of her. you pat her thigh before sitting up and a small whimper leaves ada’s lips when she feels the cold air hits her skin. pathetic.

you went to grab your clothes, ada frowns. she cranes her head to look at the clock on your bedside table. 11 pm.

“going somewhere?” ada asks with her eyebrows still furrowed.

the sound of your harnesses clicking could be heard in your room. she watches you button up your dress shirt and your pants. you barely spare her a glance when you went to pick up your phone that ding! with a message notification.

“told ash i’ll be back before sunrise.” you say rather casually than you intend to. the dismissiveness of your tone only made ada’s frown deeper.

sometimes ada forgets that you weren’t completely hers as much as she was yours.

she feels the butterflies in her stomach dying as soon as they come. nauseous, that’s what she feels. perhaps this has really gotten difficult and messy for ada to handle. dealing with her emotions weren’t her strong feature but she swallows the lump down her throat, the burning sensation building from the back of it.

you don’t look her way once, not when a familiar ringtone escapes the device in your hand or when you muster a grin that’s a lot more brighter than you give her or when you those three forbidden words roll off your tongue gracefully as if you didn’t use that same tongue to make her reach heaven a few minutes ago.

ada never feels more jealous of the short blonde chick than ever.

once the call ended, you finally glanced at ada’s way. she ignores the guilty and sorrow glimmering in your eyes. fuck you, she doesn’t want your pity right now. not when you shove it to her face that you were someone else’s and not hers.

“ma chérie..” you called out, feet paddling towards her but ada only shook her head, denying you. you insisted.

she feels the bed sink with you as you place yourself beside her, trapping her body between your arms as you’re face to face with her. ada musters the courage to look at you and you see the pain in them. you sighed.

“you know i love you,” you breathed out, weakly, “but i can’ live that life with you. forever running away, always looking back.” you reasoned but ada could smell your bullshit from miles away.

you just wanted to find a way to lessen the pain once she meets her fate.

“i know.” she chokes out despite every fiber of her being yells at her to do something, say something, make you hers even if it would only be for a moment. “i know you don’t love me enough to leave her.”

you frown, unable to find the words to say anything because what are you supposed to tell her? that ashley was the other woman but you didn’t want to ruin things between your job and the president? you crawled your way to the top, kudos to your abilities and skills. ashley was just a cherry on top to seal the deal. you weren’t gonna risk anything to lose this one thing you had always dreamed for. not even the woman you loved the most who’s in your bed.

your hand comes up to caress her cheek and she melts to the warmness you bring to her. god she hates the effect you have on her.

“i’ll come back soon.” you promised her, pressing a chaste kiss to her forehead before heading out to the door. “don’t forget to get rid of your traces here before you leave.” you remind her, giving your lover one last look before you disappear through the night.

just like that, you were gone. a sadden chuckle leaves ada’s lips when she hears the front door close, a bitter taste lingering in her tongue. how ironic, she was the one who’s being left behind this time.

how disappointing. to only love someone for once only for them to not return the same affection.

#ada wong x reader #resident evil x reader

[puckrph]

‘THE RAVEN CYCLE’ STARTERS

taken from the YA series by maggie stiefvater. some alterations made as needed to make things fit better for rp. feel free to change pronouns, etc.

‘ sometimes, i feel like my life is made up of a dozen hours i can never forget. ’ ‘ “i’m always straight?” oh, man, that’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told. ’ ‘ it’s safe as life. ’ ‘ what fresh hell is this ? ’ ‘ my words are unerring tools of destruction, and i’ve come unequipped with the ability to disarm them. ’ ‘ i like you better this way. ’ ‘ crushed and broken. just the way women like ‘em. ’ ‘ fate is a very weighty word to throw around before breakfast. ’ ‘ rags to riches isn’t a story anyone wants to hear until after it’s done. ’ ‘ i’m trying not to look at your boat shoes. i feel better about you as a person if i pretend you’re not wearing them. ’ ‘ i want to feel awake when my eyes are open. ’ ‘ you’re pretty in a way that is physically painful to me. i’m attracted to you like a heart attack. ’ ‘ i am being perfectly fucking civil. ’ ‘ shitdamn, it’s hot. ’ ‘ when i’m gone, dream me the world. something new for every night. ’ ‘ kissing’s a lot like laughing. if the joke’s funny, it doesn’t matter how long it’s been since you last heard one. ’ ‘ well, i don’t know how helpful that was... we found out german beauty homers look like bloody puffins. ’ ‘ i wish i could kiss you. because i would beg just one off you. under all this. and then we’d never say anything about it again. ’ ‘ pie is not a meal. ’ ‘ i’m here. i just—i believe i’m having a panic attack. ’ ‘ thanks for the super helpful alternative suggestions. your contribution at the end of the world will be tallied accordingly. ’ ‘ blame the poets. it’s easier to stir people to rebellion if they think they’re on the side of a demigod or some chosen one. never trust a poet. ’ ‘ no one knows what ignominy means. ’ ‘ don’t be such a shitbag. ’ ‘ i’m perfectly aware that it’s possible to have a friendship that isn’t all-encompassing, that isn’t blinding, deafening, maddening, quickening. it’s just that now that i’ve had this kind, i don’t want the other. ’ ‘ you’d better wait in the car, with your fancy face. ’ ‘ feel its pulse, don’t just stare at it. pulse. on its face. there. there, [name], god. there. ’ ‘ we’re going so slow. i think i just saw a tricycle pass us. ’ ‘ my head knew you were all right. but the rest of me didn’t. ’ ‘ i just want to pretend. i want to pretend that i could. ’ ‘ damn. you’re right. i really can’t think of another joke. ’ ‘ it was cowardice and stupidity. i didn’t like good-byes, so i just abstained, and i didn’t think about the consequences. ’ ‘ in my head, everything is always so tangled. i am such a damaged thing. ’ ‘ i wouldn’t have pegged you for a fan of normal. ’ ‘ you marvelous creature! ’ ‘  maybe it’s good that the world forgets every lesson, every good and bad memory, every triumph and failure, all of it dying with each generation. perhaps this cultural amnesia spares us all. perhaps if we remembered everything, hope would die instead. ’ ‘ i was here. i exist. i’m alive, because i bleed. ’ ‘ do you think you’re the only one with a right to bitterness here? ’ ‘ i just want to keep being best friends with you forever, and maybe one day also have carnal knowledge of you. ’ ‘ my feelings for you are an oil spill. i let them overflow, and now there isn’t a damn place in the ocean that wouldn’t catch fire if i dropped a match. ’ ‘ i like you an awful lot, [name]. ’ ‘ for the first time that i can remember, i know what it would feel like to be present in my own life. ’ ‘ jesus god, dude, do you have stitches on your face? bad. ass. put it here, you asshole. ’ ‘ i was trying to protect you, you little pissant. ’ ‘ you’re asking me to define an abstract concept that no one has managed to explain since time began. you sort of sprang it on me. why do we breathe air? because we love air? because we don’t want to suffocate. why do we eat? because we don’t want to starve. how do i know i love you? because i can sleep after i talk to you. ’ ‘ not today! no, thank you! too many events this decade. perhaps later! cannot do the shock! thank you for your time. ’ ‘ i am a slow-growing creature! i cannot adapt so quickly! ’ ‘ tell me: when you dream, do you dream of the stars? ’ ‘ if you can’t be unafraid, be afraid and happy. ’ ‘ it really is a helluva fixer-upper. i feel like they should possibly renovate this basement if they want to get a good sale price. hardwood floors, update the doorknobs, maybe put the wall back. ’ ‘ the choice was death or hurting you, which wasn’t much of a choice at all. ’ ‘ that seems sentimental for a man without a soul. ’

#memes #sentence starters #rp memes #askbox meme #rp prompts #the raven cycle sentence starters #the raven cycle ask meme #trc ask meme #trc sentence starters #askbox memes #rp sentence starters #rp meme #rp starters

[luxsombra]

The meteor shower scene retold for Rainei? Shinden? whatever ship name we decided on for them. Read below the cut or on AO3

“I’ve seen one. The thing was it was in the middle of the battlefield, where everyone else had been eliminated. Except for the one man at my side. Right, Undertaker?” Green eyes looked at Shin from across the room.

“Well that isn’t as romantic as one might have hoped,” Anju said with a sigh.

Over the para-RAID, the Handler laughs.

“And to top it all off, our juggernauts ran outta gas so until Fido came back from whereever he ran off to, we were stuck in the middle of all that carnage with nothing to do but wait.”

“Who’s Fido?”

“Our dog.”

“You have a dog?”

“Well, he’s a very unusual dog. He doesn’t go ‘woof’ so much as he goes ‘beep.’” Daiya added with a shrug.

“Nights on the battlefield are terrifyingly dark. And they seem to go on forever. Then, all of a sudden, the pale silent lights ignite the sky, appearing one after another, and then falling to earth. That is when I made the biggest mistake of my life. Said something weird that shouldn’t have slipped out.”

Shinei looked over at Raiden, somewhat in disbelief that he was really about to tell this particular story. He remembered that night vividly. He knew what came next.

“What did you say, show off?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Well, if Raiden wasn’t going to tell them, Shin could at least take the chance to embarrass the other.

“If this is the last thing I—“

“If this is the last thing I see, then maybe that’s not so bad,” Shinei says, staring right at Raiden. What he doesn’t share is that Raiden wasn’t looking at the stars when he said that. He was looking at Shinei, lips red and swollen.

———

Finally. Silence. Or as close to it as they could get amidst the dwindling flames eating at the last blades of grass around them. After the hours of voices and screams, both in his ears and in his head, Shin would gladly take the crackling of dying flames.

“Your juggernaut’s wrecked.”

He turned, eyes falling on Raiden who stood a few yards away, leaning against his own mech. Which also wasn’t in great shape, to be completely fair.

“Yeah. Fido should be gathering parts from the others.”

He notated the location of each fallen comrade during the battle. Guided them to a safe and peaceful death before returning to the fight. Once he could safely transmit data, he sent the coordinates to Fido to recover as much as he could.

Of course, Shin had failed to consider that the two of them could have used a resupply first.

“What happened back there? You turned off your pararaid. If it weren’t for the Handler’s bitching about it, I would have thought you died.”

Shin gave him a blank look. They both knew Shin was cursed with being unable to die. That’s what made him the Reaper.

“Too many black sheep,” he replied, leaving it at that. Raiden nodded with a soft sigh.

“I wish I could take it from you for a few hours. Share the burden.”

Shin gave a soft chuckle. It was sweet. Touching, even. But he wouldn’t wish this curse on anyone. “You’d change your mind about that pretty quickly. It’s fine. I’m-“

“Used to it. I know. But that doesn’t mean it’s right. I hate seeing you suffer.”

“You’re sounding soft, Raiden. Did you hit your head? Come sit.” Shin wasn’t known for teasing or playful banter, but with Raiden, he was always a little more relaxed. A little more playful.

“Ah, shut it. You worried me, is all.” But still, the green eyed male walked over and sat beside Shin, both leaning back against the juggernaut with the headless skeleton painted on its side.

“You can disconnect from everyone else. But don’t disconnect from me. I need to know you’re okay.”

Shin turned to look at the other male, trying to read what Raiden wasn’t saying and failing. Normally, he could read the other without a problem, but perhaps he was too drained from having to guide so many friends to their graves that day.

“I’ll always make it back at the end of the day.”

Raiden clicked his tongue and clenched his fists in aggravation. “Dammit, Shin. You say that but there’s no guarantee. You’re just as susceptible out there as the rest of us, Especially with the way you wreck your mech!” Raiden turned to face him fully, eyes blazing with a flame that had always drawn Shin in like he was nothing more than a moth. “Just listen to me for once, would ya?”

Shin chuckled and knocked his shoulder against Raiden’s. “Alright. Sorry. Forgive me?”

Raiden scoffed and turned away, turning his eyes to the sky instead. “Yeah. Whatever.”

They were silent after that. Shin actually found himself drifting off, eyes heavy with the weight he’d carried that day. He didn’t usually sleep very well, especially not somewhere so open and dangerous. But there was a certain level of comfort that always came with being beside Raiden. His mind knew that even if all hell broke lose, the other would protect him long enough for Shin to get his own bearings.

“Hey. Shin. Look.” Raiden jostled his shoulder, causing Shin’s head to bounce. He hadn’t realized he’d slumped against the other. Blinking slowly, Shin opened his eyes and looked to Raiden, who was pointing to the sky. Following his direction, Shin looked to the sky in time to see dozens of stars shooting across the deep blue sea before burning out of view.

He’d never seen a meteor shower before. He’d heard of them of course. But the stars were never a thing of interest for him. They were just something that happened. The same as trees or rocks in his path.

But this. This made it abundantly clear why people spoke so highly of the stars.

His vision was eclipsed by dark hair and bright green eyes. Before he could react, warm lips were pressed to his. Shin froze from the initial shock, but took only a moment to melt into it and return the kiss. They may have stayed like that for hours, or maybe just a few seconds. Shin wasn’t sure. For once, he’d stopped thinking, stopped analyzing, stopped waiting.

Shin never allowed himself to get too attached and develop feelings for others. Not only was it due to the very real threat that everyone he knew would be gone tomorrow, but he also simply held no interest in romantic relationships. He didn’t feel that pull everyone else spoke about. He couldn’t say he exactly felt it now, either. But what he did feel was…

Nice. This was nice. If he thought about it, anyone else trying the same move on him wouldn’t have had the same result. Somewhere in Shin’s mind, he knew he’d accepted the kiss and returned it because it was Raiden.

“If this is the last thing I see, then maybe that’s not so bad.”

Shin’s cheeks burned red, a feeling he was not quite accustomed too, and he turned away from Raiden’s intense gaze.

And honestly? He held the same opinion.

——

Everyone at the barracks laughed, pulling Shinei from his thoughts. A small smile remained on his lips, a near foreign expression most days.

“It sounded good at the time!” Raiden said to everyone before pointing at Shinei, eyes burning with that familiar flame again. “Give me a break, man. I see you laughing, don’t try to hide it.”

And at that, everyone turned for the rare opportunity to see Shinei laugh.

#eighty six #shinei nouzen #raiden shuga #eighty six fanfic #shinei fanfic #shin nouzen #shinei x raiden #raiden x shinei #shin x raiden #raiden x shin #raiden shuga fanfic #rainei #shinden #demiromantic shinei #my fics

[crystalelemental]

Unit Teambuilding - Aura Cynthia

Apparently Cynthia is next, which is nice for me, I’m used to not getting what I want until the last thing.  I mean...what I really want is last up, but we’ll get to her.  Anyway, Aura Cynthia, perhaps the most shit on Master Fair of all time!  But is she really all that bad?

General Overview No, people just disrespect defensive buffers.

To go over the negative: Cynthia is our first Fighting Zone setter, but does not have it as a move.  Instead, she sets it on entry, and on sync.  Every sync, not just first.  This should be good, in that it’s effectively infinite if desired, but it would consume every sync.  You also run into the issue of Silver, where the time between that sync and your next is too long for Zone to still be in effect.  The particular hissy fit going on is that you can’t use this Zone to get SC Diantha to max power.  As if she wasn’t hitting damage cap already.  You can’t get the other options to sync with it either, which is a bit of a problem as well, since sync damage tends to outperform move damage in most scenarios.

But that doesn’t make move damage useless.  Fighting types are mostly high-damage moves.  Whether it be low accuracy like Wally and Bruno, detrimental effects like Korrina, or just being chads like Bea and SC Diantha, BP on fighting moves is generally really high.  And the zone can be up perpetually thanks to Cynthia, to fuel those attacks.  Her Buddy Move, which is usable after taking two hits, deals some damage and gives the team +2 stacks of both physical and special moves up next.  She’s not a bad zone user, she just wants you to use your move damage.

The other thing to be conscientious of is that you have to consider the whole of a unit, not just one trait.  Yes, Zone has some limitations.  It was always going to on a support unit.  Even SS Kris is not actually perfect, despite my insistence.  But Cynthia has tools well beyond just the Zone, and some come about because the Zone is there at all.  Cynthia’s trainer move instantly caps both defensive stats.  That is obscene.  No need for MPR, no need to even wait.  Just perfect defensive stats instantly, because of Zone.  With Team Fist Bump 3, that’s a 40% chance to heal the team when she attacks, and she has Fighting Zone Triage Tank 4, which is another 50% chance for a heal.  You know how everyone likes to talk a big game about SS Blue being unkillable because he takes three turns to buff defense, takes forever on special defense, and only has two stacks of 30% passive healing?  Okay, what if you had better defensive stats, instantly capped both defenses, had two stacks of passive healing at 40% and 50%, and had a pop heal in Potion, with double MPR if desired.  If I ever hear someone calling SS Blue the best supporter again I’m going to smack them.

And then there’s the other utility.  Cynthia can cap crit as she uses Vacuum Wave.  Vacuum Wave can paralyze and/or confuse for some reason.  Cynthia can have Impervious.  Cynthia can deny flinches for the entire team.  Her utility is through the roof.  It’s situational, but that’s just because the core of her use is so strong.  Cynthia performs her actual role as a supreme defensive supporter perfectly, and the inclusion of moves up next stacks and Fighting Zone is meant to be icing on that particular cake.  Anyone looking at this and saying it’s bad is literally insane.  We have gone through this six times by now.  Spring Burgh, Halloween Caitlin, Kimono Jasmine, SS Dawn, Summer Hilda, and now this.  Defensive supporters are good.  Defensive supporters are good, and Aura Cynthia is an insane defensive support.  Just let go of the sync thing, okay?  I promise, it’s going to be okay.

Oh, but if you really insist on not getting over it?  She has Head Start for faster access to first sync, and second sync because it activates again on Mega Evolution.  What flaw?

Team 1: Aura Cynthia, SC Diantha, Support Tauros “But Cynthia’s bad for Diantha because Diantha can’t get her sync nuke with the Zone!”  If I go into literally any fight, off-type, right now, and give Diantha a setup that capped her special defense and speed by first sync, I can pretty much assure you the center would explode into powder.  Any Legendary Gauntlet open right now, with the gimmick box checked, could easily take max damage in a sync.  SC Diantha does not need Zone for her sync.  But what she can make hilariously good use of, is the fact that Secret Sword is insane damage that continuously scales upward as she debuffs the foe, and that she gets to access in literally one turn of setup.  That’s it.  That is all you need.  MU Tauros rounds this out because +2 special attack, and capped speed.  Look at that, literal perfection with an eggmon, what are the odds?

Team 2: Aura Cynthia, Bruno, MU Hitmonchan Oh look, another one.  Bruno’s every need is fulfilled by this combination.  Cynthia provides the bulk, which kicks off Smart Cookie, and can buff his crit.  MU Hitmonchan can buff his attack stat to cap, and give the team some speed support.  Bruno takes one turn to Dire Hit+ so he’s not waiting on Cynthia, and is now throwing out Cross Chops under Zone.  With Cynthia taking first sync, you likely won’t even see second in a CS stage.

Team 3: Aura Cynthia, Anni May, Caitlin “You’re not doing this.”  Oh, I’m doing this.  Aura Cynthia can cap crit rate and bulk, and provides a ton of consistent healing for the team.  With a bulky team like Anni May/Caitlin, this combination is effectively immortal.  The Fighting Zone isn’t strictly necessary, but its presence means you can take that extra stack of Triage Tank for even more passive healing if you want.

Team 4: Aura Cynthia, Lodge Rosa, Winona/May Now, you may be wondering how this works.  Don’t worry, I’ll tell you.  Rosa has Vigilance.  Meaning all those defensive buffs?  They can’t be ignored, because she can’t be crit.  For Gauntlet, this makes Rosa effectively unbreakable.  Throw in Winona for a flinch rate and some Rain support, and you can easily take down Entei and Moltres, and probably a few off-type options besides.

Team 5: Aura Cynthia, SS Red, Blaine Anti-Cobalion.  Cynthia can paralyze the thing, and SS Red is able to self-setup offensively just fine.  In many situations, Red’s sync isn’t even the selling point, it’s Blast Burn.  So Cynthia’s re-application of Zone means consistent access to double stacks of passive healing.

Team 6: Aura Cynthia, Alder, Lucian Anti-Azelf tech.  Alder’s a great Azelf answer offensively, but the -3 defense really hurts him when Azelf’s sync is so threatening.  Oops, sorry, now it’s max defense, because of Cynthia.  And she’s constantly recovering his HP.  And can pack Impervious to not even worry about the spread defense drops.  You can toss in Lucian to get a bit more mileage out of her Master Passive, and for his tremendous debuffs.

Final Thoughts I feel like I usually put up more of these, but with so many units I do want to keep things more succinct.  Cynthia is a unit that works optimally with units that can self-setup their offensive stats, and offers a whole host of potential traits to answer Gauntlet.  Her Zone support is limited in that it’s hard to get your offensive sync nukes to access the Zone multiplier, but this is far from a dealbreaker in terms of her utility.  Aura Cynthia is all about move-based DPS.  She maximizes the utility of moves, and provides tremendous staying power with enormous bulk and fantastic healing capabilities.

Mark my words, people will almost universally skip her, or downplay her, due to Red and Ash.  But right around mid-October, people are going to see some demonstrations of her, and go wow, I sure wish I had pulled for her, that defensive utility is so good.  Like they do every single time a defensively-oriented support comes along.

#pokemon masters #aura cynthia #unit teambuilding

[moonlight-pear-blossoms]

Saying Goodbye to Ewha

July 27, 2022

Can you believe it already? A month has passed and I’m getting ready to say goodbye to Ewha. This last day so far has been filled with many goodbyes, rushes to take last photos, and the last-minute cramming of chores. In the past few hours, I’ve managed to pack most of my things into my bags, did a load of laundry, and tidied up my room. The thoughts that have been running through my mind have been along the lines of “Wow, I can’t believe I may never see some of these people again” or “how odd it is to have existed here in another country for a month, but by next week, I will no longer be a part of the "Every Day".

I have decided to try writing this back in one of my favorite study spots: the Coffeebean and Tea Leaf located by the Ewha Back Gate bus stops. I just had to get out of the dorm for a bit (packing is hard guys). This branch is located right between Ewha and Yonsei and is close to my dorm. Its location is perfect for a quick bite to eat and a study/work session. In fact, I just ran into one of my Stony Brook friends who is studying at Yonsei this summer (shoutout to Isha).

It's true that I miss all of my family and friends back in The States. But I know I will also miss all of the people I met here. I think sometimes, we have this understanding that home is singular. But what is a home? Some say home is with the people we love. There’s also the famous saying: “Home is where the heart is”. But what the heck is that supposed to mean? Perhaps it means that our bodies are our homes (you know that whole, your body is a temple thing) that provide for us and enable us to function. Or perhaps it means that wherever we have established emotional roots become our homes.

I like to think that I am a gardener planting the seeds of my heart along my journey in this world. These places are part of me. I am part of them. I will hold precious memories of the people I’ve met, just as they will hold memories of me.

I wonder if we will ever meet again.

Goodbyes have always been hard for me. But I am reminded of a very important lesson from one of my favorite anime. If you know me well enough, you can probably guess which one I’m going to talk about.

Fruits Basket is in essence, about relationships, trauma, love, and ultimately the freedom of healing. It is tempting to want to cling onto the past-to hope that everything good will last forever. It is way too easy to fall into the despair of believing bad things will never end.

When I first got here, I wrote about anxiety, exhaustion, fear. I thought, how could I possibly settle in here? I barely know Korean, (and even though I believe I do not look Korean) everyone assumes I can speak it, and the metro system seemed so complicated. I felt so out of my depth and wondered if I could actually pull this off.

Pro tip: google maps does not work well here for directions. It will give you locations, but oftentimes it will tell you that traveling from point a to b is not possible without a car. Use Kakao Maps or Naver Maps!

But now, I can read hangul. I can attempt communication in Korean and worse comes to worst, we fall back onto our phones and using translator apps. I know now how important it is to remember to tap your transportation card when you leave the bus to prevent yourself from getting charged extra. I know that it never hurts to carry an umbrella during the summer. It might rain. But even if it doesn’t, it does wonders for providing shade.

In short, things change. We change.

We say goodbyes but then we also say hellos. We leave but we also return to someplace. We feel lonely or sad, but we can also feel loved and joy: the kind that makes you wonder how you could have ever felt sorrow.

Yes, the happy times end too. This is inevitable. Sometimes I fall into the trap of dread that is knowing that bad things will always return. Even if I am also fully aware that good things will as well.

We look around and feel that sometimes, everyone else is holding it together much better than we are. They are dressed more smartly, or they always show up on time. A hair is never out of place. But it is such a human thing to struggle. To struggle, but also to love. To treasure the things and people that matter to us. And in the end, even if we carry unspeakable burdens, we have the capacity to heal. We all deserve it at least.

I am sad to be leaving Ewha. I am sad to say goodbye to all the friends I made. I am sad to be leaving a place that has become a home for me (despite it being temporary).

But I also look forward to what’s to come. The reunions to come, the adventures to be had, the tears to be shed.

So, I want to say thank you.

I apologize in advance for the long sentences.

For everyone who supported me. From getting here in the first place and settling in (Heewon’s mom, you’re my savior) to encouraging me in art class. From studying Korean together and answering late-night texts when I have random questions or thoughts (though to family and friends in The States, it was just their afternoons). I am thankful for the opportunity to be here (despite Covid), for the strangers who put up with my limited Korean, my Peace Buddy (hands down, Sam is the best), the professors who taught with such patience, and the staff who made Ewha International Summer School possible.

Thank you for believing in making the world beautiful, even though at times it seems rather bleak.

Thank you for believing in me, even when I couldn’t believe in myself.

For your kindness, 고맙습니다!

Although my time at Ewha is ending, my time in Korea is not. Tomorrow, after checking out of the dorm, I board a train to-can you guess (if I haven’t already told you)-Busan! I still haven’t watched that film (I’m sorry, zombie flicks are just not my thing). But being here all summer and not having seen the ocean yet? Obviously had to fix that.

Thank you again for reading this blog! I hope to sneak in a few more posts before the end of the trip. But if not, I’m so glad you joined along.

Wishing you all the best,

Christina M

#south korea #travel #ewha womans university

[lovemesomesurveys]

What weird food combinations do you enjoy? Some find it odd I like eggs and ranch. Where do you get your news? Online, mostly. What social stigma does society need to get over? Hmm. What is the best/worst prank that you've played on someone? I’m not a prankster.

What was the last photo you took? It was a screen shot.

What are you currently worried about? Health stuff as always. Do you think aliens exist? Some form of life maybe, not in the way people have imagined.  What mythical creature do you wish actually existed? Unicorns. ha. What are you interested in that most people aren't? Taking these surveys, probably. What's the most ridiculous thing you have bought? Uhh. I don’t know. What sounds hit you with major nostalgia every time you hear them? Songs from the 90s, theme songs from shows I watched growing up. If given the oppurtunity to open a museum, what kind would you create? Stuff related to the various fandoms I like. When was the last time you immediately regretted what you said? I don’t remember. What's the silliest thing you've seen someone get upset about? I’ve gotten upset over some “silly” things myself, so who knows. Especially nowadays.. it doesn’t take much. 

What was the best thing that happened to you today? My mom coming to visit and watching the premiere of the new season of American Horror Stories. Do you consider yourself a good cook? No, I don’t cook unless we’re talking ramen. What's the dumbest thing someone has argued with you about? It’s just dumb when someone keeps arguing about something they’re clearly wrong about and won’t just admit it.  What did you google last? A character from Stranger Things.  What fashion trend makes you cringe or laugh everytime you see it? Crocs. Why??? What's your favorite holiday movie? I have several. I love Christmas movies.  How ambitious are you? I haven’t felt that in a long time... :/ What topic could you spend forever talking about? Things I’m interested in, like TV shows and whatnot.  Which way should toilet paper hang, over or under? Over. What word is a lot of fun to say? Catawambus.  If you didn't have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time? I used to love the late night/early morning hours, that was a time I’d just chill alone doing my own thing. It’s a different kind of vibe during those hours versus during the day. It’s quiet and chill. That also means staying up all night and not getting enough (sometimes none) sleep. So instead I’d like extra time to sleep so that I could enjoy those late night hours to myself as well.   Are you usually early or late? Early, or at least on time. What do you wish you knew more about? I just feel so... average. I wish I knew more about a lot of things. 

What is the most annoying question you've been asked? I get asked a lot of the same questions nowadays about my health and life and my answers are always the same. I’m tired of being asked the same questions or having to constantly explain the same things.  How different was your life 1 year ago? Extremely. For one, I wasn’t in the hospital, completely bedridden, dealing with a lot of health issues. I was dealing with a lot still, but not like this. Had I done things differently then I could have avoided this. Or perhaps it wouldn’t have been nearly as bad. Everything went to shit so fast. I can’t believe this Is my reality now... stuck in this hospital with a trachea tube, unable to get up, unable to eat actual food or drink actual drinks, being dangerously underweight, and having a ton of other health issues. It’s been a lot. I’ve been here since the end of May and still have a ways to go. I beat myself up everyday for not taking things more seriously before and for ignoring/neglecting so much. I let my stubbornness and fears control me and it finally got to be too much. Now I’m greatly paying the price for it.  What quirks do you have? *shrug* What movie title best describes your life? A Series of Unfortunate Events... What was the last lie you told? I don’t know. What type of music do you listen to? I like variety. Are you a good listener? I think so. People have told me I am. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? I like a lot of different kinds. Like, I’ve always enjoyed a milkshake now and then, but for the past year or so I was seriously obsessed. I was having one like everyday. Ugh, that sounds so good. I wish I could have one. D:  Do you think you're brave? No. What are you most grateful for in your life? My faith and my family. What is a relationship deal breaker for you? Abuse. What are some things that give you complete peace of mind? I never feel a complete peace of mind. I feel some peacefulness when relaxing at the beach, but that’s as close as it gets. Or I guess when I’m sleep and everything ceases to exist for a little while.    Would you like to explore another planet? No. Who was your favorite cartoon character as a child? 90s kid cartoon characters.  What would you do if you were the president of your own country? I would not want that. 

#personal #text #survey #surveys

[cherchersketch]

Sleep

read on AO3

He closes his eyes, walking aimlessly through the endless universe.

The Spectre is an ethereal spirit, existing since the beginning of time, its power passing from one guardian to the next. Oliver Queen is only one in a long line.

Is he even still human anymore? Or just a resurrected vessel? Another pawn in the background of a never ending battle, between good and evil.

He can’t sleep.

The fight is over. They have prevailed. There will always be more battles to come, but for now, the universe has been remade anew, settling into a moment of peace.

Still, the spirit of the Spectre cannot rest.

He doesn’t even know what it’s waiting for, probably the next battle, no matter how long in the future that may be. He still keeps watch over the multiverse, always alert for any cracks that may appear. He stops all those that he can. Occasionally, there are still villains that slip through, but it’s nothing the other heroes on his original Earth can’t handle.

It would be nice to be able to sleep. Even if he travels to the furthest edge of the galaxy, where no stars shine and the darkness is all-consuming, he still cannot rest. It would be nice, to be able to escape into dreams.

Perhaps in his dreams, he would be able to see his family again.He’s missing so much of their lives. All of Mia’s firsts. William’s growth from awkward teenager to the confident man his younger self managed to meet.

Felicity.

But there is always another enemy, another threat. He cannot bring the battlefield home with him. Not again.

The spectre and the man. Together they wander the ends of the universe. Restless.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He opens his eyes to a blinding light.

From above, Felicity’s smiling face greets him, giggling. “Good morning, sleepyhead.”

Backlit against the rising Sun, she seems almost ethereal. He’s spent centuries wandering but she is still the most beautiful sight he has ever seen.

They are… somewhere. After the excitement of their reunion, he’s been bringing her to view all the nicer corners in the multiverse. Currently, they are in an endless field. The sky is dyed a rosy hue, frozen forever in the midst of sunrise.

“Boring you already, am I?” She teases as he stifles a yawn. Her grin falters though, when he realizes the tears that start to pool are not due to tiredness.

Oliver huffs, twining his fingers through the hand that has been resting over his chest. “I’ve missed this.” He pulls her hand close, brushing a featherlight kiss to the gleaming ring on her finger.

“What?”

He turns up, looking straight into her curious eyes. “Sleeping.”

She blinks, unsure of how to respond. “Oh? Have you not been…”

While he was human, Oliver had always been a light sleeper. Years of always watching his back had trained him to be able to wake up at the sound of a pin drop. And sleep never came as much of a reprieve when he was haunted by nightmares.

“I tried, but I couldn’t. Not since…”

“Maybe your body decided dying was enough sleep for now… oh wow that was bad. That sounded bad right. I guess it’s still too soon to joke about that huh. I don’t mean that I..”

Although it was always entertaining to hear a good old-fashioned babble, and Oliver had missed this so so much, he had also missed this. The way she paused and her breath hitched as he cut her off with a kiss. The quiet sigh as they leaned into each other, one of her hands gently caressing the back of his head, ruffling his hair.

"I was joking you know. You can sleep if you want." Felicity smiles, twining the fingers of their hands together. Their matching wedding rings shine in the pink light.

“I like watching you sleep...but like... not in a creepy way.”

Oliver chuckles, “I know.”

Settling back into a comfortable position, he allows himself to relax. The light may be blinding, but he finds himself falling into a peaceful slumber. At last.

#olicity #olicity fanart #olicity fanfiction #CherCher art #I drew this for Valentine's this year but totally forgot about posting here #was reading a lot of shoujo manga at the time so I really wanted to draw a ~lap scene~ #Also planned on writing a Felicity companion piece but... that has not happened yet

[teddyniffler]

In the Shadows of Friendship Forever

Chapter 5: Ominis

Ominis waited on the path just on the outskirts of Hogsmeade, the music and chatter coming from the village could be heard in the distance. While he waited he went over his plan in his mind. He hoped Anne would arrive soon, he was often uneasy in places he didn’t know too well, the ground could hide any secrets from him, such as uneven paths and rabbit holes. The sound of a person apparating near to him startled him out of his thoughts.

“Anne?” He asked. “Hello Ominis,” came a voice he knew very well. There was a small touch on his arm, the way the twins always used to greet him. “I am glad you came; I would not have asked you to come here in person with your condition if it was not important.” Ominis said. “It’s ok, I like distractions these days. I find I am on my own a lot now, with my own thoughts. It’s nice to see this place again.” She said, he imagined she was looking back in the direction of the noise behind them due to her voice fading slightly in volume. “Are we alone?” He asked to be sure, however his own ears had already told him there was no other living being near them. “We are.” Anne confirmed. “I have a plan on getting Sebastian out of Azkaban. It may not work, the chances are not favorable, but I cannot live with myself if we don’t try. As I said in my owl, we will be working outside of the law, I can’t imagine is being legal. It could blow up in our faces more than Garreth’s potions, but I still wish to try.” Ominis paused, he hesitated in delivering his idea, because it was so childlike, filled with pit holes. Lying? Blackmail? He was worried Anne would return to wherever she had been staying in anger because it was such a silly idea to bother her with. “Whatever it is, I am in. He’s my brother and I will do anything to get him out. I may be still angry with him, but he doesn’t deserve Azkaban. I allowed my anger to rule my head.” Anne’s voice sounded so broken that Ominis wanted to reached out to her.

“So, this is my proposal” Ominis started to explain. As he delivered his plan, Anne kept silent. He wished he could see her face to read her expression. The silence drew on. And on. He stopped; his last line hung in the air. The pause stretched on. “What do you think?” He asked Anne, but to also confirm to himself that she hadn’t just walked off in disgust. Anne stood there gapping at Ominis. Everything he had just told her had shocked her into silence. She considered everything Ominis just said. “Ominis, this is the thought process of an unsound mind.” She said honestly. His stomach dropped like a stone, he had been sure she would understand, perhaps his idea truly was childish fantasy. A foolish hope of saving his friend. He cursed himself for wasting her time, for humiliating himself in this way.

“We are doing this.” She then said. Ominis breathed in fast and looked in the direction of her voice. “Really?” He asked, his voice for the first time in weeks not heavy, but maybe a little hopeful. “We are Slytherins, are we not? Are we not cunning and resourceful, are we not determined to get Sebastian out of there, no matter what we have to do?” He smiled.

Yes, some did mutter about Slytherin house being the darkest house in Hogwarts. How many times did wizards in the street claim most students from their house turned bad, but that wasn’t entirely true. Slytherins were just as loyal and compassionate as their Hufflepuff counterparts, just as brave as a Gryffindor and as smart as a Ravenclaw, but a Slytherin would push the limits or even resort to the lowest means possible in order to protect their friends. Students from other houses would drawn the line much earlier. That is what truly set them apart. “But Ominis, are you sure? There’s a reason you ran from your family.” Anne asked, he could hear the worry in her voice. “They hurt you, won’t they do it again?” Ominis knew this all to well. He had been thinking of nothing else himself. “I will do it for Sebastian.” He said, firmly. He would. He would do anything now to get Sebastian back. “I must send my father an owl. Will you check over my writing for me once I have finished?” Ominis asked with rapidly growing anxiety, his hands growing sweaty at the thought of reconnecting with his family, but he was sure to speak with command, to cover any of his fears. “I have no doubt that he will reply right away the second he gets my letter. He is a formidable man. One last time, are you sure we are doing this Anne? If my plan sounds insane, please say, but if not, then we’re doing this” He felt her take hold of his free hand. He hoped she didn’t notice how warm it was. “We’re getting Sebastian out.” She confirmed.

They headed into Hogsmeade. The Three Broomsticks would be the best place to write a letter to his family, then they could send it from the post office nearby. The owl would reach his family’s home in no time. They picked out a quiet corner, away from other visitors and away from any portraits that may listen in. Ominis listened to see if any conversations about Sebastian were taking place, but he couldn’t hear anything over his own pounding heart rate. His stomach had started being a little unsettled due to his nerves. He took out his quill and started telling it what to write. The quill started scratching out a letter to the man who had provided him with so much, but who was also the source of his anguish.

Professor Black was not a man who was suited to his role, but he did enjoy the luxury accommodations that came with the job and his wife sure enjoyed the idea of her husband being the Hogwarts Headmaster. With luck, he would have all Mudbloods out of Hogwarts before their children had to mix with them. In this moment though, he believed this job did not pay him enough.

“Tell me you bring me this in jest?” He demanded. There were two children sitting opposite him, but he was only really addressing one of them, the Gaunt boy, he was the only one that really mattered here. The girl was Sebastian Sallow’s twin sister but she held zero interest to him, all his attention was on the blind boy before him. Right then, the girl bent forward and started moaning in pain. Professor Black really did not want to deal with this. “No!” She gasped, raising again, her face going red. “The spell lifted just yesterday, I felt it and I just knew. I sent Ominis an owl right away. Aughhh.” She bent forward as more pain ripped through her stomach. Ominis put his hand on her back, his head still facing Professor Black. “It is true Professor,” Ominis confirmed. “I also felt it lifting.” Professor Black’s dark eyes flickered from Anne, still gasping in pain to Ominis, pale eyes gazing deeply into his soul. Did this boy ever blink? Professor Black’s brain was spinning, this was concerning. He needed to take control of this situation before it spiraled into something that would disturb his peace.

He gathered his composure. “So you two, you both state that yourselves and Sebastian Sallow were placed under the Imperius Curse by Victor Rookwood, who confronted you down in Feldcroft. Rockwood then killed Solomon Sallow, but forced Sebastian to confess to the murder. Then he ordered you both to falsely testify against Mr Sallow and since then you’ve all been controlled up until yesterday, when the spell just lifted, that correct?” Professor Black asked. Anybody else he would have laughed at and then expelled them on the spot for wasting his time and for being a bad at lying. He did not believe this cock and bull story at all, these two were Slytherins, he could clearly see the truth here. Anne and Ominis had a fallen out with Sebastian, they turned him in out of spite and now they had changed their mind and wanted their brother and friend back. This was Slytherin cunning in its purest form, he had to admit too, the girl was quite the actress, her ‘pains’ were still coming. Well, he hoped it was only acting.

He had enough of this game, it was time to catch them out. He couldn’t do anything to them, not really. Ominis Gaunt was not to be threatened under any circumstance and the girl wasn’t currently a student, so he couldn’t expel her. He would scare them, then throw them out of his office. “So why did you wait until now to come see me? You said the curse lifted yesterday? Why have you waited so long to come report this? I believe you were in Hogsmeade this morning, Mr Gaunt. I do get alerted when my students leave the castle, did you know that? Did you buy anything nice while shopping? Surely, something as important as a dark wizard controlling you should have been brought to my attention with uttermost haste?” Let’s see them answer that! He waited, holding his smile in. He loved knocking students down a peg. “We wanted to be certain,” Ominis spoke in his normal tone, for such a young man he had an infuriating superior drawl, all his family did. “We would not have wanted to waste your time Headmaster. I must have sent Anne an owl the very second she sent hers, and her letter confirmed what I had also experienced and felt. Anne was only able to come today. We met in Hogsmeade as it was quiet. Yesterday she was indisposed due to her condition, as you can see before you. However, I was only able to send an owl to my father this morning explaining what has happened to us. Yesterday I was perturbed. I could only just manage to hold my panic down in History of Magic. I believe Professor Sharp can testify my absence in potions, I was so distraught I could not attend his class.”

They. He said it. Professor Black sat perturbed himself. The boy had told his father? His father… Oh boy. Oh Lord. The Black family had always held respect, they were a member of the sacred Twenty-Eight pureblood families, they only had magical blood in their veins, and always would. They were proud of their blood status. They had been around for countless generations, right back to the Middle Ages. However the Gaunts, the Gaunts were a whole different breed. They were not only decedents of the legendary Cadmus Peverell and all that surrounded him and his two brothers, but also of Salazar Slytherin himself. If the Black family considered themselves royalty, then the Gaunt family were emperors. Emperors who could crush royalty under their boots. Professor Black smiled, shakenly. “Just a moment.” He said, getting out of his seat he turned and went down the two little steps behind his desk. He poured himself a large brandy, before drowning it down in one go. Then he refilled his glass once more and drank again. Merlin’s curse!

He returned to the desk. Ominis’ unseeing eyes still watching his every move, it unnerved him to no end. He forced another smile as the girl finally stopped her painful wailing. “Did your father, um, reply yet?” Professor Black tried to sound casual. “Not yet” Ominis said “While we do not always see eye to eye, my father still deeply cares for my best interests, my wellbeing, the Gaunt family sticks together, even when we push away. I just know my father will be so concerned for me right now, I will, of course, reassure him that I am okay when he writes. However, the hurt I am feeling right now, knowing Sebastian is being tortured in Azkaban when he’s innocent is eating away at me. I’m sure you will know what to do.” That little brat.

Professor Black smiled again. He knew what was happening here. He was being blackmailed by a sixteen year old boy. It was subtle that the listening headmasters and headmistresses of the past wouldn’t catch it, but it was there. The Gaunt’s had power. At best, Professor Black knew he could get blamed for allowing three students to be cursed under his watch, one to be carted off to Azkaban for a crime he did not commit. At worse, the Black family would likely be blacklisted from future marriage arrangements among the other sacred twenty seven families, depending on if Ominis told his father that Professor Black didn’t help him. The Gaunts had so much influenced in many things, Ominis may only be sixteen, but Black knew right there if he didn’t help Ominis, then things for the Black family would turn nasty. Barred out of the marriage arrangements, and the Blacks would have to marry brothers or sisters, aunts or uncles or face their family name dying out for good. They would rather die out than marry Mudbloods or Muggles. The boy sitting before him looked innocent and pleasant enough, an excellent example of a young gentleman in the making, but Phineas Nigellus Black in that moment could see Ominis for what he truly was, a serpent. The snake nor the apple truly didn’t fall far from the proverbial tree. He was just like his father. “Terrible,” Professor Black said carefully, to get a feel of the atmosphere in this room. “If three students were indeed cursed under my watch, and one of these students condemned to Azkaban. They will be an investigation; you shall have my full cooperation. Hogwarts will make sure.” There was silence for a moment, then Ominis broke it. “My father will be happy.” Ominis’ eyes were somehow right on Black’s. Black’s eyes were right on Ominis’ own, even though the boy couldn’t see him. Right now they weren’t student and headmaster, but a boy from a higher house than his own threatening him. “You are a credit to Slytherin house,” Professor Black beamed at Ominis, but it was painful and very forced. “Now, I’m sure you have homework to attend too, Mr Gaunt. Miss Sallow, it is good to see you are looking better. I would love to talk with the both of you longer, but much for me to do, and it seems I have a letter to the Minister for Magic to send. I bid you both a good day.” Ominis stood up, as did Anne. They turned and left the room. Professor Black watched them go, upon his face was the look a child may wear upon being corrected by their parent. He placed his head down on his desk. What a day. He needed to write to the Minister for Magic at once to save his own skin, to save his own family, and say what exactly?

‘Minister Spavin, sorry to bother you, but the boy you sent to Azkaban was ‘innocent’ after all. He’s clearly not, but as his sixteen year old friend and his twin are threatening my family, I felt compelled to message you to please let him go at once.’

Professor Black chuckled. He chuckled again. Then slammed his fists into the desk. This job didn’t pay him enough for this. “Um, headmaster?” Came a voice from one of the portraits on the wall. Black ignored it, let them watch, it was no secret he was a questionable man. They had all seen much worse, let them all judge. “Pardon me, Headmaster?” Came the voice again. “What!” Professor Black snapped. “Master Gaunt is at the school gates, sir, he wishes to speak with you ‘immediately and with great urgency about my son being cursed and controlled, what else!’ I believe were his exact words, Headmaster. He didn’t sound happy.” The portrait informed him. “Just my luck.” Black muttered “Just my luck.” He got up once more, turned around and went back down the steps to pour another large stiff drink.

Anne and Ominis didn’t speak at all as they left the headmaster’s office, they didn’t talk at all as they crossed hall after hall, down staircase after staircase. “Ohh Anne! Are you coming back?” It was Amit Thakkar, he jogged towards them “Are you better now? I am so sorry to hear about your uncle, it shocked me to my core, I never thought Sebastian would- oh, um, bye?” Anne and Ominis walked faster, leaving Amit behind. They both knew where they were heading and they soon reached the Undercroft, Anne glanced around, there was nobody there to see them entering the hidden room. “Clear” She said. Ominis already knew, he couldn’t hear anybody else around. They both walked through the fake clock together, the door sealing behind them. “What do you think?” Anne asked the moment they were sealed in. “I believe the headmaster got the general gist.” Ominis said “His voice told me that much.” They sat down together, their backs to the wall. For a little while they were lost in the enormity of their lie. “We wait now and see,” Anne told him. “I would imagine the Ministry will come out to talk with us again. We will need to have our stories exactly the same.” “We were cursed. The curse lifted because Rookwood had been killed. Our friend must have gotten it wrong, they didn’t kill Rookwood like they thought, somebody else must have gotten him. With his death, the curse lifted. Our friend isn’t here to offer a counterclaim and I don’t think they will come back, not after Professor Fig’s suspicious death. Half the school seems to think they were involved and the other half believes them to be a dark arts user, like Sebastian.” He added glumly. Anne rested her head against Ominis’ shoulder. Ominis closed his eyes for a moment and rested his head on hers too. There was a time all three of them would fit into a single bed back in Feldcroft when Ominis had first started running from his home during holidays. They had been younger, but also smaller back then. It was only before the third year had they all grown a little more and Solomon had informed them it was becoming not proper for such things. He and Sebastian slept on a mattress on the floor by the fire, while Anne kept the bed. For a moment, he let himself enjoy the quietness with Anne by his side, maybe some of his home hadn’t been destroyed, but home wouldn’t be whole until Sebastian came back. He hoped they had done the right thing, he knew deep in his soul he could not have left Sebastian to rot in Azkaban, but by starting the lie, he had opened a large bag of Nifflers.

The clock entrance started clicking and Ominis’ eyes flew open again, he sat forward quickly, as did Anne. “Anne,” He whispered “Who is that?” His ears strained to listen, somebody was entering the Undercroft but that was impossible, nobody knew it existed. Was it their old friend, the fifth year from last year, had they come back? They knew of this room and how to get in, but something told him it wasn’t them. Tap, tap, tap, tap… Footsteps, sure even footsteps of a person who was confidently walking in. This was not a person who had stumbled across the Undercroft by accident, this person walked with purpose. He felt Anne standing up, he did so too. “Anne?” He whispered. He was totally lost; he could not see the newcomer and they made no noise as they entered the room. The footsteps had stopped as the newcomer paused at seeing them. Anne was gazing at the man who had just entered the undercroft. He was very handsome yet eerie. His pale silver eyes zeroed in on her at once, the way he was looking at her was unnerving. It was as if he were an intelligent predator who hunted not because it was hungry, but for sport. There was an amused look on his face, as if he had expected to find this room empty and had found her trespassing on Gaunt territory. Like a snake that had returned home to find a mouse sniffing around it’s den. She knew who this was at once, although she had never met this man before. He was like Ominis, but without the blindness. Otherworldly silver eyes, the same colour as Ominis’, yet while Ominis was totally blind, this man’s pupils could see the world very clearly, maybe a bit too clearly. He had blonde hair, some of it was very pale as if highlighted from the sun’s beams. His robes were luxurious, she had never seen a man dressed so smartly, not even Uncle Solomon dressed that fine. The robes looked like they cost more than most treasures at Hogwarts. His lips parted in an amused smile. Then he hissed. Anne took a horrified step back, to her surprise Ominis almost did too. There was definitely a reaction from Ominis, but he had tried to hide it as best as he could. Anne looked from this man to Ominis, not sure what to do, what to say. While Anne heard a hiss, Ominis heard words. “My boy. What tomfoolery have you got yourself into now?” Ominis lowed his head, then thought better and raised it. He straightened his back and tried to act normal. “Hello father.” He replied, his normal posh drawl coming out as a hiss.

#ITSOFF #ITSOFF5

[thecosmicchaotic]

Mammon

Preface: 

I want to preface this with the fact that I am, perhaps, a very boring witch. I am not fully convinced of magic, or even of the contacts I think I’ve made with other entities. At the back of my mind, I always carry the knowledge that nothing I believe in may actually be true. For me, witchcraft is going through motions that have been decided by instinct and informed by research. There are no spells, no curses, no crystal healing, no beliefs of being chosen by entities, etc. I just do what I think makes sense for me logically, emotionally, and mentally. If you are a very exuberant and whimsical practitioner, my guide(s) may not be for you. But, if you’re looking for something more grounded and small scale, then by all means. I do want to also add a disclaimer, just in case, because this specific post talks about money. Please do not take anything written here as financial, legal, medical, or even personal advice. I have no way of knowing the full scale of what’s best for you, nor do I have any official certifications to give this sort of advice, anyway. This is all for entertainment, as well as just sharing my personal experiences as a practicing, theistic Mammonist.

(I also just despise “witches” who charge exorbitant amounts of money for access to what is, at the end of the day, entirely fanciful and subjective information. It is one thing to ask for a few bucks here and there for support/acknowledgement of your work, and another entirely to pretend to sell demon pacts on Etsy for $600+. So, I want to put free things out there to consider, as well.)

Temperament:

In my experience, Mammon is not particularly friendly. I would not call him mean or rude in any substantial way, more so that it’s clear he feels no need to be overly amicable. He does not have a Customer Service Voice when dealing with people, to put it simply. He doesn’t sugarcoat. When making an agreement, he simply accepts or denies. Rejection should be something you’re comfortable with before working with Mammon. He is very resistant to commands, instead preferring trades. When it comes to trading, Mammon is very fair. It is always fine to accept or deny a trade with Mammon, just know that you will reap no benefits should you decline. It is simply a situation of “you give nothing, you get nothing,” which is made very transparent. As far as the impression he gives off, it can be described in three words: bored, analytical, and blunt. Mammon can also be very chastising, and he hates when people go back on their promises and arrangements most of all. In many cases, in fact, I have found that breaking an agreement can result in bad luck. Keep your promises, and you’ll likely be okay, though. 

Practice:

Mammon, despite his bland and cutting disposition, is a pretty easy entity to get a hold of. No matter what anyone on the internet tells you, you do not need to shell out hundreds to thousands of dollars just to communicate with him. Mammon enjoys offerings, but they don’t need to be egregiously expensive, by any means. A shot of spiced rum or wine (assuming you are of the legal drinking age), some shiny new coins, a tealight candle you dedicate and burn for him. Anything you put effort in will get his attention, for the most part. Similarly, these are the things you can trade to him during your arrangements, provided he views them as equal to your wants. For this reason, though, I do believe Mammon is best when you seek only small things. Luck with savings and sales, reminders to save money, finding good coupons. I am a low-income individual, so these are the things I seek out, most prominently. They are also easy and cheap to offer trades for.  

Finally, I would remind you that just as you are your own, Mammon also only belongs to himself. The practitioner and the entity, thus, may both terminate their bond(s) at any time. All deals come to a close eventually, after all. Do not expect an exchange or “pact” with Mammon to last forever, and know that something as simple as a loss of interest is a valid enough reason for either side to cut ties. 

Offerings:

Things I have noticed Mammon enjoys, or which I have associated with him are as follows:

Spiced rum

Red wine

New coins

Jewellery

Frankincense incense 

Musks (incense, cologne, etc.)

Candles

Items in gold, black, red, or silver (green can work, but is not high up there)

Snake symbolism

Velvet and silks

I hope this was helpful. Remember, always exercise caution when taking advice from strangers on the internet, including myself. Your Craft is your own, and your ideas should be, too.

Also, for anyone who is seeing this in the Obey Me! tag, hello. I do play your game sometimes, but please leave this post alone, thank you.

#Ramblings #demonology #demonolatry #Mammon #The Prince of Greed #witchcraft #Left Hand Path

[neostorm]

Rex Moonlight

Rex Moonlight, owner and guardian of the Moonlight Mansion(M.M), decades old but forever young, the M.M is said to protect the secrets of forbidden magic such as time travel and immortality, even thou forbidden the learning and practice of such arts is they still are kept for emergencies, unfortunately, Rex situation it's not one, Rex cursed himself with immortality so he could protect his home and knowledge without having to curse future generations to protect the M.M for all eternity, for breaking the taboo Rex it’s banned from most places that deal with magic, however, he was allowed to keep the mansion for not only it belongs to him alone as the last Moonlight, but since protecting it was the motive for his action in the first place it would make no sense to take it away.

He isolates himself from the world only going to a nearby town to restock on supplies, a town that both fear and respect Rex, they fear his power but respect him as a person and his choices, in modem times all those who knew Rex personally are long gone, the only thing that remains are stories told about Rex from the old generation, but like all stories, they changed with each generation, what once was told about a young and noble mage that lived in a mansion in the forest is now about an immortal demon that haunts an abandoned mansion, however since his face has been long forgotten by the masses he still can show himself to the public without problem, but the once full halls and libraries of the M.M are now empty but for now no one dares to approach the lands of the demon.

Now Rex spends his days caring for that old mansion with nobody to make him company, while he had his fun here and there he is still alone and he thinks that's for the best because any friend or family that he makes is one that he will outlive and surfer about such is the curse of an immortal, until one day he notices that a few books that belong to the library where missing, kids book that he used to read when a kid, have them been stolen? If yes, by who?  perhaps a kid from a nearby village has been dared to come here and taken them as proof, “no matter they are easy to replace” is what he thought, a day later he noticed that the missing book were back in place and new ones were missing, again he paid no mind to the situation as whoever was responsible was simply borrowing the books and the M.M library was always open to the public, days later he also notices that some food have disappeared and one of the rooms has been used “has someone been living here without my permission” upon inspect the room he notices that some of the missing books where located on the room meaning that whoever is living in this room is also the one borrowing books from the library, during the next few days he starts to pay more attention for the invader and learns more about them, whoever it is they can’t be younger than 4, they spent most of their day in the mansion only getting out before sunrise, and they are in bad shape like a kid that doesn’t eat right and gets beaten “are they perhaps an abused child?” not knowing the answer but also not desiring to interfere he decided to just ignore their presence, what is a little bit of food and some kids books despairing from time to time is gonna do of bad, and so for a month Rex pretend to not notice the little invader, until one of his tomes disappeared, that he can’t just ignore as he is banned from 90% of places that deal with magic replacing a book like that would not be easy, he decided that is finally time to confront his guest, he find them on one of the empty room and finally comes face to face with the thief a young elven girl, what happens next is a story for another time

#OC #my OC #OC art #My OCs are my babies #oc artist #oc artwork #mage #art #artist #my art #digital art #artists on tumblr #digital drawing #digital artist

[bombaycity]

So long, sweet boy

May, he turned twenty-one on the base at Fort Bliss Just today he sat down to the flask in his fist Ain't been sober since maybe October of last year Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles…

Strange boy.

I like that you accept your weirdness and mine as if they were mere facts of life. I like that you truly own your ideas and perspectives - and that I can’t even recall what these ideas and perspectives are, because you look so damn good leaning against my bedroom wall I can’t pay attention to a damn thing you’re saying. I like your nonchalant charm, embellished with the tilt of your head and an eternally-stupid grin. I’m pleasantly surprised by your maturity. Your wit. Your bad jokes. Your ability to understand what is different, and to take the strangest of things in your stride. I like that you answer all of my questions without asking me why I’m asking them. I like that I can be myself around you. I like your skin on my skin. I like kissing you. I like kissing you. I like the way you kiss me. Ya know, I like the cut of your jib.

You’re tardy and fickle and a little bit condescending, but you’re also a prize. I like that you kind of know that.

But you got me, and then decided you don’t want me. Duh. Life would be too easy if you did, and easy doesn’t happen outside of the movies. Our lives are not directed by a benevolent rom-com scriptwriter constructing the perfect plotline - if they were, you’d want to see my face in the daylight, perhaps just once. That has never occurred to you, so my conclusions are solid. 

Here’s the difficult thing. My desire for you to want me is much greater than my desire for you. I want someone like you to become fascinated by me and to waste your time caring about me. I want you to let me spoil you with my codependence. I want to wring you out like a shirt on a rainy day until my curiosity is satiated. 

How did you get this way? What makes you who you are? What brings you joy? 

I want to get under and inside and all over your skin. I want to exasperate you. I want to revel in the intensity of it all.

So maybe you’ll understand why ‘playing it by ear’ for the sake of occasional sex is simply not my idea of a good time. Because what do I do with sex? Sex is ubiquitous. Desire is everywhere. You and your personhood are not, and I do not have access to them. Not in the way that matters, at least.

One-sided love is fine - the fun starts dissipating when you realize that even curiosity is unreciprocated. Now, I’m beginning to feel hurt creep up on me. It’s not here yet, but it threatens to rear its ugly, football-sized head and leak out of my ears and eyes and skin. So I’m going to do what happens when I feel like I’m going to be attacked by my own brain - I will make a quick exit. I will stay nimble and fleeting, as always, and I will not stay for longer than I’m welcome. I have unfortunately developed a healthy self-esteem and in turn romanticized my own self. Now, if you’re unable to do that too, that means my own company is kinder to me than yours is. So I don’t want you to have access to me anymore - I’ll be fine on my own.

I want to be free in my longing for life. I want to sit peacefully with the fact that you don’t care half as much as I do. My affection stems from me, not you, and so I give without wondering about, let alone craving, acceptance. Giving brings me joy. I did my part. That is what makes me who I am. I do not know what makes you who you are, because I never got to find out. Perhaps that is a good thing.

The happy part of it all is that I can now forever retain a false vignette of you as weird and perfect. In falling for your potential, I never quite found the time to become disillusioned by your reality. There’s something thrilling about that. The memory of you will always entice me. 

Just the way I like it.

So long, sweet boy.

#journal #journalling #fwb #writing #letters i'll never send #heartbreak #grief #love

[twenytwenytwo]

Dec 10 2022 (8:51pm)

Slept great last night, no issues (5-6 hrs straight, then a couple more) Still feel a little overly zippy, my body’s engaged, somewhat adrenal.

An observation: at my most pessimistic, I loosely conclude that “nothings working out” and that everything I want to do is hard and a struggle. I feel uncertain and confused about career goal (video) and demotivated and nervous about music. I feel like everything I construct is full of holes and janky and waiting to fall apart. Just plain uncomfortable.

These conclusions are infused with doubt, worry, a bit of paranoia, and an overall indulgence in the pessimistic. As I’ve already articulated (others too, obviously), there’s always going to be negative factors to find and take into account. That is life, especially as you age and life gets more sophisticated and pressure rises. The sort of considerations to be made are too much for the mind of a idealistic teenager. The more a situation is real, nuanced, and complicated, the less it can be bent to look like a perfect idealistic fantasy.

With music, my perfect idealistic fantasy is that everybody in the band is happy, engaged, and committed. Things are easy and fun. The band is productive and cool. Touring, traveling, and living an interesting life with your good friends along side you.

Of course, people and their lives are more complex than that. There was a time when all in the band were engaged and committed, but people had shit going on outside the band that affected their mood, as well as conflicting ideas that stunted productivity. There was a time when things were easy and fun, but it was because we were super inexperienced. There was a time when the band was productive and cool, but things weren’t easy and fun, and people were becoming disengaged.

Point being, you can’t have it all. And if you do get it all, you don’t get to have it for long. This doesn’t mean you can’t have a fun, easy, productive band, it’s moreso that you need to decide whether you want something functional and real you can enjoy or forever chase perfection, and never get it.

It’s like another version of my quest to become a rockstar, except with the band I’m in. The Doors drummer quit a bunch of times, Jim and Robby would get in fist fights, Robby would call Jim’s ideas stupid sometimes, the whole band had different ideas, and to top it off, their singer fuckin died. Technically, The Doors are more unideal than what I thought was unideal… YET, I hold them as my ideal somehow. This is because I viewed minimal information, and then inflated it to fill in the vacancies that the aforementioned realities would have occupied.

My ideal band… is a band that doesn’t exist. Success lol.

This goes for many, if not all other things in my life. My life in general, even.

My ideal life is a life that does not exist, is a life that within this realm we call reality would be a hollow and low resolution life. My conception and quest for perfection has become like bleach, wiping out everything bad, but also everything good.

Another factor could be that my ideals, my idealogical utopia within my mind, are too simple. They’re not complete and detailed enough to be able to stand up on their own and be real.

Like my ideal for the band is basically everything is fine, and we’re this pulsating cock of a rock band that the world sucks off. If anything outside that ideal occurs, it sets me off. Something’s wrong. Perhaps I’m exaggerating, but I’m not far off.

Wabi Sabi, baby. Remember that? How do I get back to that. I still dig it, but I feel like I really lived it at one point.

[speedytimemachineflower]

october 18th, 2020

You know, life is funny, even at seventeen.

Like I feel like in the past four years of my life so much has happened that I could write forever about it

when I was 14 everything was so simple, everything to me then was about whether the guy in English liked me back, and how I could be prettier, and how to have the most fun, it was before the school was on drugs, before the bitterness of adolescence kicks in and your view of the world is distorted, but also at the same time justified. Back when I had to ask my mom for a ride, and the foundation of my social life was built upon whether my mom was available to drive me.

Im sure I will read this back year after year, as time goes by and giggle at the innocence that is really subjective as you age. However it doesn’t change the fact that I feel any of this.

Maybe I’m writing this as a closure, or a way to organize my thought, or perhaps a letter to my future self reminding me what it was like at this period in my life- I don’t really care, I just wanted to put this on paper, because a part of me breaks at the thought of forgetting it.

“Sweet Jane” by the velvet underground, I saw Miley Cyrus cover it today on youtube, and it reminded me of Tyler and 2018. It made me sad a little bit. There was some sort of aura that year that just felt like things wouldn’t change and that they would last forever, there was this weird certainty about it, I’m not really sure why- maybe thats the innocence of it all. I just remember that song, and it being on the playlist he made me for my birthday that year- I still cannot listen to that song and not get emotional, even two years later. I don’t really know why it makes me so sad, maybe ill find out once I’m done writing this, but it just represents a transition I guess. It represents Tyler and what he means to me in my life. I guess its more about Tyler. The name Tyler will always have this weird connotation for me, it just is so weird. It kinda makes me want to scream thinking about it not going to lie. It makes me more boggled knowing that at one point in my life that energy was worth holding onto. I just feel as if that year and a half, maybe two years 2018/2019 was some sort of time warp, I wasn’t myself then, and I was okay with that. Everything felt off those two years, nothing felt like it was mine, I kept looking outside for myself rather than within. I cannot blame Tyler for me losing my mind, but he still has that connotation. His impact on my life is undeniable, and I forget that more and more, and when I remember that he existed in my life at one point, it blows my mind, and when I realize that he still exists, it blows my mind even more. He just really never felt real, like honestly thats what it is, even when I didn’t like him, something about him seemed like so divine, not fake necessarily but just so like designed.

Its just so sad. I have this bad habit of checking his spotify every few days, I’ve been doing it since freshman year, idk I want to break it, but I also have this morbid curiosity- I guess we all have our vices. Anyways it seems like he’s dating this guy now, and its just funny because I feel like I’m starting a thing with *****- and I hate it- I feel like I’m going to be energetically tied to Tyler forever, i just hate it, I feel like I’m mirroring him all the time somehow, god knows if thats true, but its this complex I have and I hate when little things prove it- basically a Marilyn Monroe complex except with a guy. I wish all the time I could just wake up in a world where he never hurt my feelings as bad as he did- where he wasn’t an asshole, where I didn’t fall in love with him. My ego has never been more sure about something than thinking tyler would be my first boyfriend- I thank god every day for that lesson though- you cannot trust the ego lmao.

Even though all of that shit sucked, I wouldn’t really do anything differently, I’m never going to tell him I loved him, I’m never going to tell him how shitty of a person he is, I’m never going to tell him why I did everything- and I almost did but I’m glad I didn’t. The main lesson was learning about ego and what it is capable of, and honestly, telling him all that shit only satisfies my ego, the only reason I ever wanted to was to get a reaction to “know” that he knows- but he already knows, probably not his ego, but his soul. I know that- I believe I can tell anyone anything through the soul, and I think everyone has the truth deep inside them, but their ego is preventing them from seeing it- like how in summer 2018 I was so sure but it all felt off- I knew, but I didn’t know.

[davieswealthmanagement]

Afraid of a Stock Market Correction? #1 Get a Plan | Stuart, Fl

Afraid of a Stock Market Correction? Get a Plan Lately, it seems as if every client or potential client I see asks about the possibility of a looming stock market correction. Investors are loving these good times, but they're smart -- they know the market runs in cycles, and the good times can't last forever. The markets keep hitting record highs. We're in the second-longest bull run in history. And yet there's uncertainty, too, globally and in this country with our new president. When people ask if a correction is coming and what they should do to prepare, my answer for most is: Stay the course. Whether you're still working or already retired, consistency pays off. Especially in uncertain times, when a market correction is on many people's minds, it may be best to stick to your plan. If you don't, if you overreact, you could end up making financial decisions that may set you back in your strategy. Of course, if you're worried that the plan you have in place is not the best, that's a different conversation. Then it may make sense to make some changes. If that's the case, here are a few steps to consider: 1. Get professional advice. Perhaps you've been handling things just fine on your own with your 401(k) or 403(b). As you near retirement, however, it's time to speak to a specialist who can help you take the focus from accumulation and growth and put it on income planning and asset protection. Many financial professionals will consult with a potential client once or twice with no obligation, so you can get a feel for whether you're a good fit. You should ask for an analysis to see if there are any redundancies in your current portfolio, if you are truly diversified and if you are paying any unnecessary fees. You also should talk about risk -- how much you can stomach emotionally, how much you can afford and how much is in your current portfolio. Your financial professional can use a program like Riskalyze to help assess and align your risk. That is especially important if you're anticipating a market downturn and might be tempted to make trades based on your anxiety. 2. Set up a retirement blueprint. A lot of people have piles of statements from different accounts, but that doesn't always mean they have a strategy in place. In retirement, you need a detailed plan for your money -- and that plan should help give you more confidence that you'll be OK. People tend to get out of the market when it's down, and by then they may have already lost money. Then they may get back in when it's coming around again ... but by then, most of the gains could already have been made. That bad timing can be very costly. 3. Know the difference between a pullback, a correction and a bear stock market. Everyone is talking about a coming correction, but what exactly does that mean? It isn't the same as a pullback -- typically defined as a short-term decline of 5% to 9% from a recent high. And it isn't as menacing as a bear market, which is a downturn of 20% or more that can last for months. A correction is the middle ground -- a 10% to 19% drop from recent highs. It's a little scarier than a pullback, but it's still temporary. It is sometimes an indicator that we're going to have a bear market, but that's not always the case. It can be an opportunity for investors hoping to get discounted prices. Unfortunately, it's also when some people go wrong based on their emotions. Fight the instinct to flee. 4. Diversify. The old-school equation for diversification is a 60-40 split between equities and bonds -- and that's not always a bad scenario. But these days, there are so many more options, both for protection and growth. If interest rates continue to rise, it could have a ripple effect, and the bond market likely will suffer. In retirement, that may not help you as an inflation hedge, so it's important to look at alternatives such as annuities. I know, "annuity" is a dirty word to some financial professionals -- but that could be because they either can't sell them or they don't really understand how they work. It's unfair to broad-brush them all with the same bad rap. A good annuity can be a valuable piece of your plan. It's a long-term financial vehicle -- the insurance company gets to use your money for a pre-determined number of years -- but that's not a bad thing for someone who is 60 years old. Annuities aren't for everyone, though, so ask your financial professional if they would be a fit for you. If you're ready to make a change or create your first real retirement plan, find a financial professional who is focused on informing and enabling you, not selling you products. And be careful about what you read and hear. It's good to have information, but what you see in the media isn't necessarily tailored to your specific needs. An experienced and knowledgeable financial professional with a retirement focus can help equip you to work toward your goals -- while considering uncertainty in the stock market.   ✅ BOOK AN APPOINTMENT TODAY: https://calendly.com/tdwealth =========================================================== 🔴 SEE ALL OUR LATEST BLOG POSTS: https://tdwealth.net/articles If you like the content, smash that like button! It tells YouTube you were here, and the Youtube algorithm will show the video to others who may be interested in content like this. So, please hit that LIKE button!💥 🎯🎯 🎯Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChmBYECKIzlEBFDDDBu-UIg ✅ Contact me: [email protected] 🔥🔥🔥 ====== ===Get Our FREE GUIDES  ========== 🔥🔥🔥 Retirement Income: The Transition into Retirement: https://davieswealth.tdwealth.net/retirement-income-transition-into-retirement Beginner's Guide to Investing Basics: https://davieswealth.tdwealth.net/investing-basics ✅ LET’S GET SOCIAL Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DaviesWealthManagement Twitter: https://twitter.com/TDWealthNet Linkedin:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/daviesrthomas Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TdwealthNetWealthManagement Lat and Long 27.17404889406371, -80.24410438798957 Davies Wealth Management 684 SE Monterey Road Stuart, FL 34994 772-210-4031 https://TDWealth.Net   Read the full article