#also don’t talk to me about the new Mary Poppins

[the-rewatch-rewind]

Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn make their first appearances!

Script below the break

Hello and welcome back to the Rewatch Rewind, the podcast where I count down my top 40 most rewatched movies. My name is Jane and today I will be talking about number 33 on my list: Columbia Pictures’ 1938 romantic comedy Holiday, directed by George Cukor, written by Donald Ogden Stewart and Sidney Buchman adapted from the play by Philip Barry, and starring Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn.

Johnny Case (Cary Grant) has just returned home to New York City from a trip to Lake Placid where he met, fell in love with, and got engaged to Julia Seton (Doris Nolan). When he shows up at the address she gave him, he is surprised to find that it’s a giant mansion, and that she lives there with her family, whom she previously neglected to mention is extremely wealthy. Both her lively sister Linda (Katharine Hepburn) and her depressed alcoholic brother Ned (Lew Ayers) immediately approve of Johnny. Her father, banker Edward Seton (Henry Kolker), is initially shocked that his daughter is engaged to someone he’s never heard of, but he is ultimately won over by Johnny’s impressive work history. However, when Johnny reveals his plans to quit working for a while to seek the meaning of life, both Edward and Julia are appalled, while Linda enthusiastically approves, and it becomes apparent that Johnny is engaged to the wrong sister.

There are many things I love about this movie, but the main reason it’s on this list is because of who stars in it. If you’ve listened to the Mary Poppins episode, you may recall me saying that Julie Andrews is one of four actors to appear in at least four of my top 40 movies. Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn are two of the others. Katharine Hepburn will be making a total of five appearances, and Cary Grant will be making ten, so if you really hate him, you’re probably not going to like much of the rest of this podcast. I don’t exactly remember why or how he became my number one fave, and it’s kind of a chicken-or-egg situation – do I love so many of his films because he’s in them, or do I love him because he’s in so many of my favorite films? I have no idea, and at this point it doesn’t really matter. I just know that I love watching him on screen, somehow both suave and goofy simultaneously, and listening to that unique voice that truly mastered the fake transatlantic accent like none other. And I also know that he was a very convenient explanation for why I had no interest in dating anyone in my teens or 20s. “There just aren’t any men out there like Cary Grant,” I’d lament, which was true, but the implication that I wanted there to be was misleading, though even I didn’t understand that for a very long time. There were a few other Old Hollywood actors I would sometimes also claim to find attractive, using the same excuse that nobody in real life was like them. I was aware that it was weird to only have “crushes” on movie stars who were old enough to be my great-grandparents, but that still felt less weird than admitting the truth – I didn’t understand what a crush was and I was too scared to ask, since everyone else seemed to instinctively know. It wasn’t until I was around 30 that I finally asked myself, if I met a Cary Grant clone who was my age, with his exact appearance and mannerisms and voice, without his traumatic childhood, would I want to date him? Or sleep with him? And I had to admit that the answer was no. What I feel for Cary Grant is appreciation for his work, and perhaps some aesthetic attraction, but nothing romantic or sexual. He’s still my number one fave, and I still celebrate his birthday every year with a multi-day marathon of his work, which explains why so many of his movies made it into my top 40. Since Katharine Hepburn is another actor whose birthday I celebrate every year (although not quite as enthusiastically), and Holiday is also a perfect New Year’s Eve movie, I have many occasions to revisit this one. I can’t remember if I’d seen it before I started keeping track, but I watched it once in 2003, once in 2006, once in 2008, once in 2009, once in 2011, twice in 2012, once in 2014, once in 2016, twice in 2018, twice in 2019, and once in each year since.

One viewing in particular stands out to me. It was January of 2012. I was in college and I had a lot of intense family stuff going on, and then a snowstorm hit on a Tuesday night, which happened to be the night before Cary Grant’s birthday. Classes ended up getting cancelled for the rest of the week, and I used that time almost exclusively to consume Cary Grant movies. On his actual birthday, I managed to convince some friends to watch one with me, so I went to one of their dorm rooms and we ended up watching Holiday. I want to say that overall it was a good time and most of them really enjoyed it, but I honestly don’t remember for sure. What I do remember is that there was one person in that group of friends who didn’t want to join us, declaring that she refused to watch any movie made before 1990, but then kept coming into the room after we started the movie to make comments like, “Ugh, I can’t believe you’re watching this!” “Ew, it’s in black and white!” and such. I should have just let it go – after all, it was her loss to miss out on great movies due to some arbitrary date cutoff – but I got very upset about it. The disrespect! On Cary Grant’s birthday of all days! I didn’t really know that person very well, and we haven’t kept in touch, but I hope she has forgiven and long forgotten any angry comments I may have directed toward her that day.

To a certain extent, I understand her attitude. Old movies portray outdated ideas and ways of living that can feel strange and even offensive to watch. But they also tell us a lot about the history of our society. Holiday in particular still feels extremely relevant. It’s set during the Great Depression, a time when there were a few very rich people and many very poor people, which sounds a lot like today. It’s about a wealthy family with one child who takes their privilege for granted, one child who is dissatisfied and abuses substances to cope, and one child who actively tries to rebel against the idea that money makes their family inherently superior. And when the entitled head of the family and the child who is most like him hear about a working-class person who has saved up enough money to spend some time enjoying himself instead of working, they scoff at that idea. Doesn’t that sound like it could take place right now?

Modern audiences might find the lack of action in this movie a bit tedious – it’s very apparent that it was based on a play, as it’s dialogue-heavy and almost the entire movie takes place in a few areas of the Seton house. But the wittiness of the lines and the punch of their delivery more than make up for the lack of action, at least in my opinion. I do wish the movie started a little earlier in the story, so that we got to see Johnny and Julia at Lake Placid. Apparently scenes were actually filmed for this, but George Cukor, the director, didn’t like the footage and decided to cut it all. Julia just seems so completely wrong for Johnny in every way that I really want to see how she behaved when they first met to convince him otherwise. From the very first scene when Johnny goes to their house, it is clear that Julia neither shares nor appreciates Johnny’s sense of humor, while Linda is swapping jokes with him as soon as they meet. I don’t necessarily think that means Johnny and Linda need to get together (although of course they will, because it’s a rom com and they’re the stars), but I do feel like it demonstrates that Johnny and Julia would not have had a functional marriage. I’ve never been able to understand what he saw in her, although a possible explanation is vaguely addressed by her brother Ned’s perceptive line, spoken to their sister Linda: “You know, most people, including Johnny and yourself, make a big mistake about Julia. They're taken in by her looks. At bottom, she's a very dull girl and the life she pictures for herself is the life she belongs in.” In other words, Johnny saw a beautiful woman and imposed his ideals onto her. When he finally learns that the woman he’s attracted to – and believes he’s in love with – neither shares nor supports his point of view on life, he has to decide how much of himself he’s willing to compromise.

It would have been so easy to let this story deteriorate into a two-sisters-fighting-over-the-same-man love triangle scenario, but it doesn’t. Linda has no desire to interfere with Johnny and Julia’s relationship, even when she is finally able to admit to herself and Ned that she’s fallen for Johnny. Linda actively tries to repair the rift that forms between Johnny and Julia when they discover they have different values. It’s only after Julia tells her that she doesn’t care about Johnny and is relieved that he’s decided to leave on his holiday without her that Linda decides to go with him. As Ned observed, Linda, like Johnny, has always imposed her own values on Julia, so it takes her just as long as it takes Johnny to realize that he and Julia are completely unsuited for each other. And I love the way that’s portrayed. Too often, sacrificing other relationships for the sake of romantic love is glorified. But Linda is willing to sacrifice romance when she thinks pursuing it would hurt her sister, which I appreciate. There is a part of me that would like to see a version where Linda and Johnny realize that their love is actually platonic and decide to go on an adventure as friends – and who knows? That could happen. The movie ends with them kissing, but afterwards they might decide they don’t feel those kind of feelings for each other and it was just amatonormativity convincing them they did. But that feels like a major stretch. It does seem clear that if they do get married, theirs would not be a particularly conventional marriage, especially for the time, so they’re definitely still rebelling against some societal norms.

That’s really what this movie is about: questioning the things that society tells you should be important. American capitalist society says pile up as much money as you can, and if it’s not much, you’re doing something wrong. Johnny Case says, “Wait a minute. That can’t be all there is” and decides to find different goals for himself. But the movie also portrays how difficult it is to break away from the norms. Ned desperately wants to get away, but his father has a very tight hold on him and won’t let him out of the banking business that Ned despises, so he drinks excessively because he sees no other way out. Linda finds it a little easier to question and rebel against things, but is rarely taken seriously by her father and sister, who patronizingly dismiss her ideas as silly little trifles and assume that she, along with everyone else who is being “difficult” in their eyes, will come around eventually. We get the impression that this is a frequent source of tension in the household, but the main example in the movie is when Linda desperately wants to throw a fun, intimate little New Year’s Eve party to celebrate Johnny and Julia’s engagement, but Mr. Seton insists on throwing an enormous fancy gala instead. Linda protests by staying in the small playroom, where she is joined by Ned along with Johnny’s friends, Nick and Susan Potter, played by the wonderful character actors Edward Everett Horton and Jean Dixon, who feel incredibly out of place at the main party. It’s a delightful scene that contrasts the coziness and warmth of the playroom with the stiffness and formality of the rest of the house. At this point, Johnny has started to conform to the “proper” life Julia wants for him, and he initially enters the playroom to convince Linda to be reasonable and join the big party to keep from embarrassing the family. But he soon realizes that the smaller party is much more his style. And it’s soon after that when he learns that an important deal has come through which has made him enough money to quit his job (why an important business deal would be going through at 11:45 pm on New Year’s Eve has never made sense to me, but oh well), and that’s when he tells Julia and Mr. Seton about his holiday plans and they flip out because he’s challenging the status quo. Eventually, after taking some time to clear his head, Johnny tells them he’s willing to compromise and try the life Julia wants, agreeing to work for Mr. Seton’s company for a year or so and then go on holiday if he still wants to. Julia and Mr. Seton are delighted, making it clear that they believe that once he starts this life, he’ll change his mind completely and give up on what they view as his foolish fancy. But traveling to find the meaning of life is even more important to Johnny than the party was to Linda, and he decides he can’t compromise. He has to live his life the way he chooses, even if most people think it’s foolish. And that message still feels incredibly profound and necessary today.

I think that’s the main reason this movie has resonated with me so much. As someone who has always felt like the things I find important are often dismissed as trivial by mainstream society, while the things mainstream society deems important have never made much sense to me, it feels incredibly validating and encouraging for a Cary Grant character to confidently declare that he doesn’t want the life he’s “supposed” to want, and ultimately decide not to back down even when people he cares about just as confidently scoff and tell him he’s wrong. Not that I would ever have the courage or self-assurance to just drop everything and leave on a trip with no plan other than “find the meaning of life” – that sounds terrifying. But when you’re aroace – and I imagine this is similar for other queer identities as well – you’re constantly bombarded with the message that the “correct” life path is something that doesn’t feel right, and that the life you do want is not only incorrect, but shameful. Of course, a movie made in 1938 would never have dreamed of addressing LGBTQIA+ issues directly, but somehow, even with its straight romances, Holiday almost feels queer. That might be taking things too far, but the film is certainly about living as your true and authentic self and not letting anyone convince you to be someone you’re not for the sake of “respectability,” which feels like basically the same thing as saying “queer rights,” at least to me.

Much as I love the message of the story, I do want to emphasize that ultimately this is a comedy, and a big part of its appeal is just getting to see Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn being silly together. The way their characters meet and instantly establish an easy rapport feels so natural and authentic. Whether they’re disagreeing about the difference between goat and sheep noises, trying to invent a fancy pedigree for Johnny, or actually being real with each other, they are such a delight to watch. Nick and Susan Potter are also very fun characters, and their friendship with Johnny – and later Linda – is beautifully portrayed. I would love to see a sequel of the four of them traveling the world together. However, that was not to be, partly because despite receiving critical acclaim, this movie was a box office failure. It’s been speculated that perhaps Great Depression audiences who would have done anything to find jobs did not sympathize with Johnny’s plans to quit his. At the time, Katharine Hepburn was deemed “box office poison” because audiences thought she was past her prime, so that didn’t help either. After this movie, Hepburn left Hollywood for Broadway, where she starred in a new play that Philip Barry – who also wrote the play this movie was based on – had written specifically for her, which she then took back to Hollywood and used to turn her career around…but more on that in a future episode.

A few more fun facts about Holiday that I need to share: in the original Broadway production of the play, Katharine Hepburn understudied the role of Linda, and she performed a scene from the play in her first screen test, which led to her first film. The role of Nick Potter was originally played on Broadway by Donald Ogden Stewart, who co-wrote this screenplay, and then was played by Edward Everett Horton in both a 1930 film adaptation and this 1938 remake. This was the final feature film appearance of Jean Dixon, who played Susan Potter, although she continued to act on stage and television, and she will be making another appearance on this podcast for an earlier film. And finally, this movie provided Cary Grant an opportunity to show off the tumbling skills he learned while touring with an acrobatic troupe as a teenager, as Johnny likes to use acrobatics to calm himself when he’s nervous. It kind of looks to me like at one point they may have used a stunt double, but for most of the flips you can clearly see his face, and I think it's so cool that he was able to do at least most of his own stunts. What a performer.

Thank you for listening to me chat about another of my most-rewatched movies. Be sure to subscribe or follow for more, and leave a rating or review to let me know how you’re enjoying this project. Next week I will be joined by another guest, and as always, I will leave you with a quote from the movie we’ll be discussing then: “Yeah, he was here, but he put an egg in his shoe and beat it.”

#holiday #the rewatch rewind #cary grant #katharine hepburn

[prismatic-bell]

So the other day I said a thing about how I felt like a line could be drawn between antis, and the rise of 24-hour news networks. I’ve given that thought some time to bubble to see what, exactly, my brain meant by that statement, and here’s what I’ve got:

When I was a kid (back in Ye Olde 1990s), we had three major news stations in my town: Channel 12, Channel 24, and Channel 35. These corresponded to NBC, ABC, and CBS, but I don’t remember which one was which so don’t ask me. Anyway--you had a half hour of news at 8 or 9 am (depending on which station you watched), an hourlong program at noon in which half the program was stuff like “here are today’s beach closures and some recipes and also if you’re looking for stuff to do with the kids this weekend here are local promotions,” and half an hour at either 5, 5:30, or 6 (again, depending on which channel you watched). One of the three stations also did a half-hour capper at 10pm. So unless you were watching all three stations, and picking the news every single time, the max amount of news you were going to get was like an hour and a half. If you wanted more news than that, you read the newspaper. When my mom was a kid (back in Ye Olde 1960s), this would have seemed like an inordinate amount of news--for her, it was half an hour at 6pm and ten minutes at 10pm and then the station (there was only one station that did the news) played the National Anthem and went off the air until 6am, at which time you might get like . . . the weather and a traffic report.

For anything else, you read the newspaper.

Now with only half an hour to present a whole lot of news, what are you going to do? You are going to stick to the facts. You don’t have a choice. You have a very short time to fit a whole lot of information. “Notre Dame cathedral caught on fire today. French firefighters are working to get the flames under control, and authorities in charge of the cathedral are doing their best to remove relics, paintings, and other holy objects while it’s still possible. French President Mr. Somebody addressed the nation and stated every attempt to save the building, and to rebuild the damage, will be made. In local news . . . “ And that’s it! If you want more information, you’ve got to wait for the newspaper in the morning, and you’re going to have to get a copy of the New York Times or USA Today, because the local paper will only have a blurb, and that blurb will mostly cover what you just heard!

But then the news changed.

By the time I was a teenager, the non-cable news looked like this: All three channels had a morning show that started at 5 or 6 am (depending on your station) and ran until 8 or 9 (depending on your station). The station that ended at 8am then had a half-hour morning news show. The mid-day news at 11 or 12 was still an hour. Channel 35 did a half-hour news segment at 5 and another at 5:30, back to back. The other two stations simply did an hourlong segment. And then one station did half an hour at 10:30, and the other two did hourlong segments at 10pm.

What do you do with that much time? Well, you expand. Yes, you can fit more news, but you can also fit more about the news. “Notre Dame cathedral in Paris went up in flames today. The fire began in the famous historic bell tower, and spread to the roof. At this time, portions of the roof appear to have caved in, and there are concerns about the integrity of the medieval stonework in the cathedral walls. French firefighters have been working since 8am Paris time to get the flames under control, and authorities in charge of the cathedral are doing their best to remove relics, paintings, and other holy objects while it’s still possible. Some firefighters are also helping with this project, as portions of the building have become too unsafe to enter. French President Mr. Somebody addressed the nation late this evening and stated every attempt to save the building, and to rebuild the damage, will be made. Of the cathedral itself, Somebody said, ‘Our Lady has weathered worse troubles than this. Paris as a city, and France as a nation, will overcome.’ In local news . . . ”

Still facts, but a few more facts. At this point the internet as a public thing is just past its infancy, and in theory you could go look up some stuff on, like, AOL, maybe, about what was happening.

(Nina, you were talking about antis . . . ?)

(Yes, I was. Bear with me.)

But at this point you also saw the rise of Fox News and CNN.

Now up to this point, I could trust the news. That is important to know. “Nina, American news is full of propaganda--” Listen, you’re not wrong, but the point is, if Scott Brennan told me Notre Dame cathedral was on fire and priests were trying to remove the holy relics, I could safely assume Notre Dame cathedral was on fire and priests were trying to remove the holy relics. If Channel 24 told me “the blizzard of the century” had occurred the night before, I could look out the window of my snowed-in house and go “yeah, that seems legit.”

I grew up, in other words, in a world in which facts were facts. We didn’t waffle or wring our hands over whether or not Notre Dame was on fire. And this allowed me to take a similar approach to fiction: it is a fact that murder is wrong, and knowing this, I can read a book in which someone commits murder for very good reasons, but still know they did something wrong.

But now you have 24 hours of news to fill.

No matter how you pad it, no matter how many voice clips you play or retrospectives you do, you cannot find enough news in the world to fill 24 hours, seven days a week, 365 days a year. You just can’t.

So they started adding “opinion pieces.”

Notre Dame is on fire--is it worth saving? Notre Dame is on fire--but is it as big a catastrophe as it’s made out to be? Notre Dame is on fire--but France has been steadily calling themselves a secular nation, so is this the punishment of G-d? Notre Dame is on fire--

--wait, what was that?

Yep. You saw it, I saw it, we all saw it. But as the “opinion pieces” slowly took over the regular news and stopped being called “opinion pieces” and started being called “programs,” it became less and less clear what was and wasn’t fact.

Now obviously Notre Dame is on fire. But now we have to ask ourselves: is it worth it to save it or not? Is the financial cost outweighed by the history? Will those answers change depending on how bad the damage becomes? And you, lonely elderly person in your chair whose predominant socialization these days is at church, how does this make you feel about French people? These are questions that once would have been asked of the church caretakers and the French government. Now every single person is being asked to think about them, without being provided all of the context that is available to the church caretakers and the French government. And along the way, you get these nice, nasty little bits of prejudice and slanted thinking and bias sneaked in.

I told you I’d come back to antis. And here we are.

The vast majority of antis are very young. They grew up in a world where those “programs” were the norm. They were not provided with a cultural basis of “these are the facts.” They were provided a basis of “here is what I think about the facts.” They were provided a basis of, as Mr. Banks said in Mary Poppins, “kindly do not cloud the matter with facts.”

There are no facts! Who fucking cares! An anti who’s 15 years old today was eleven years old when we were introduced to “alternative facts”! Is it wrong for a 27-year-old man to pursue a relationship with a 13-year-old girl? Depends on which news channel, and which presenter, you ask!

They literally grew up in a world in which critical thinking was discouraged. Once upon a time, you would have seen on TV that Notre Dame was on fire, and at dinner--or whatever your family did for together time--you might say things like “going to be expensive to fix that, I wonder what they’ll do,” but you wouldn’t have been hit with six presenters telling you exactly why Notre Dame should/shouldn’t be rebuilt. And don’t forget--even if you, personally, do not watch the news (or read it on the internet, which is just as bad, because everybody’s after those elusive advertising clicks, everybody needs the “scoop” two seconds before it happens), you know people who do. You hear their opinions and their hot takes and their retellings all around you. And those  opinions and hot takes and retellings will be colored by which “program” that person saw first.

Watch the first thirty seconds of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dn2RjahTi3M

Walter Cronkite, a legendary news anchor, giving his opinion on Vietnam. You will notice that he states, very clearly: “it seems very clear to this reporter.” This is Cronkite’s opinion, nothing more, and he makes it clear that he is speaking only for himself.

Now skip to approximately 1:05, and watch him report the Kennedy assassination. You can see he’s emotional, but also keeping it under wraps as best he can because he has An Important Job To Do, and that job is twofold: to deliver the news accurately and concisely, and to keep the American public calm (you can see this when he hurriedly says Johnson is probably taking the oath to become President; a missing VP would be a crisis at this moment). This is a man who’s just found out the most beloved president in modern times is dead. And not just dead--murdered. It’s not like Kennedy had a heart attack, his damn head was blown off. This news is still coming in so quickly that you can see him glancing off the screen to get fresh reports. He’s one of the first to receive this absolute blow--and he’s still holding it together, barely wavering. (When I was a kid, this role would go to Dan Rather. He was no Cronkite, but he tried.)

Where is that kind of rock for today’s teens? Imagine--heaven forbid, in the state our country’s in right now--that tomorrow we get the news Biden was shot.

How would we get that message?

Would it be delivered by an even-keeled, just-the-facts reporter like Cronkite? Or would we get it from a bunch of half-hysterical articles and crisismongering “programs”? And would it be delivered to us straight, like Cronkite did, or would it be buried in three days’ worth of opinions on his “legacy” and policies and What This Means For America?

Now: how are you supposed to build any kind of strong convictions and moral compass on a world like that? Where anything can be true if enough people have an “opinion” on it? Where the facts get immediately buried in a wave of bullshit?

Antis are reacting to a world of “opinions” and “programs” being thrown at them 24/7 by trying to create a world they can control, where there are in fact things that are true, in a world that has actively refused them the opportunity to learn how to parse and process facts. And so what they’ve come up with is this grossly distorted version of facts, because gross distortions of facts are all they know. It’s all they’ve ever seen. They’re perpetuating a system they don’t even realize they’re part of, because they never experienced life before it existed.

They’re not lying when they say they were heavily influenced by fiction because the bounds between fact and fiction have been actively erased. On purpose. And it’s difficult to grok that, if you grew up in a world where you didn’t have to go seek out photographic evidence to be absolutely certain that Notre Dame was, indeed, on fire.

So what we need to be doing, first and foremost, is rebuilding that wall of facts, that line of truth. Otherwise, what we’re going to see is more of this, but getting worse daily.

We set them up for this, and now we’re paying the price for it.

[pascalpanic]

Miller Morales Mechanic Shop (Frankie Morales x f!Reader)

Part One of Miller Morales Mechanic Shop

Summary: Something is wrong with your car. What, exactly? You have no clue. So you bring it in to some professionals- who also have a toddler running around the shop.

W/C: 2.3k

Warnings: language, Frankie is a dad, brief mention of divorce and trauma bc poor Frankie, there is a child heavily involved in this so if you don’t like kids this isn’t for you :)

A/N: WELCOME TO PART ONE EVERYONE! This is such a cute AU and I’m BEYOND excited to start sharing it with you all! I don’t know how many parts this will be or anything but I can’t wait to take it and run with it.

Marisol Morales behaves for very few people. One of those is Ben Miller. Unfortunately, she has decided to break her own rules today.

Frankie loves summer. He loves his little girl playing outside in her baby pool, taking her for walks around the neighborhood with their three-legged dog, all of the fun parts. The hard part is when the nanny goes on a vacation and Mari has to come to work with him.

Benny and Frankie, ever since the chaos that was the Lorea mission, run a small mechanic shop together. Miller Morales Mechanic Shop isn’t necessarily the busiest place in town, but they make enough to get by and have some disposable income too. Mari loves to hang around the shop with her daddy and uncle. She’s there more than Frankie would like, but he supposes it’s not the worst thing in the world. When Frankie and Jules split and Frankie won full custody, he’d hoped a nanny would take care of most everything when Mari is home all day in summer. Sadly, he was in for a rude awakening when no Mary Poppins showed up on his doorstep.

It’s normally not too bad; Benny hung the moon in Mari’s eyes. If she won’t do something for her daddy, which is still somewhat rare, she’ll always do it for her Uncle Benny. That makes the day run much smoother. Mari has a whole host of quiet-time activities and toys to play with, and the men generally trade off periods of either working on the cars or being with the little girl.

Her favorite activities at the shop include drawing on the concrete with thick sticks of chalk and playing with her toy helicopters and planes. Benny insists tanks are cooler, but Mari prefers flying her Polly Pockets in the chopper, running through the garage and making flight noises. She’s a smart little thing; for her age, she’s picked up big words and can make sentences out of three words, which is quite a stretch for a baby just over two years of age. She calls for Benny and Daddy and knows the names of his tools: wench, scu-dwive, and her favorite, win-seeled wipe fwuid. She loves to babble at customers while they get their oil changed.

-

Being shit with cars is no fun. It only increases the anxiety when some light flashes on your dashboard. The lights can mean so many things that you find it ridiculous; “check engine”? Check it for what? To save yourself the anxiety, you find your nearest mechanic and pay them to deal with it.

Today, as you pull over into a gas station, you check your phone and find that the nearest shop is a place you haven’t heard of. It must be new. Miller Morales Mechanic Shop, 0.6 miles away. The name implies something more local and homegrown. You’re more than willing to support a place like that, so you start up the engine, pray you don’t explode, and make your way over to the shop.

It’s nearby, like the map indicated. The outside is a quaint little place, tucked in a strip mall next to a coffee shop, a dentist, and an insurance agency. The three car bays are empty, and knowing next to nothing about how these shops work, you pull inside and park your car, letting it run as you wait for an employee. The bell dinged to let them know you were here, so you stay patient and listen idly to the hum of the talk radio show from your car’s speakers.

After a minute or two pass, you realize that maybe this wasn’t the right place to be. Maybe you were supposed to go in the front or something. Concluding that you probably aren’t where you’re supposed to be, you turn off the car and get out only to be greeted by the sound of buzzing lips.

You can hear a baby’s voice, mimicking some kind of vehicle’s sound, and for a second you’re worried this place must have you hearing things. Then, from a swinging door to the front comes a little girl, running and babbling to herself about her toy helicopter.

She has a head full of dark brown curls, tied back into two puffs with pink scrunchies, and matching pink leggings and a t-shirt far too big for her, the back emblazoned with the shop’s logo. She’s barefoot, tiny feet slapping against the cold cement.

“I told you I had to piss, Fish!” A man’s voice shouts from one end of the garage.

“No you didn’t, dipshit!” Another man shouts back. Being caught in the middle of their argument is quite comical, if you’re being honest with yourself. “She’s fucking two! You can’t leave her alone like that, man!”

The first voice is matched to a person as a tall blonde man emerges from the customer service side of the shop. “Marisol Morales, come here,” he insists sternly as he rolls up the sleeves of his jumpsuit. “Come on, you’re gonna trip.” Ben is embroidered on a patch over his heart.

She pouts at him before stumbling forward and continuing to run, stopping as she sees you and looking up in confusion. Her lower lip sticks out in a pout as her eyes scan your face, as if she’s trying to remember if she knows who you are. “Hi,” she finally concedes as you bend to her level.

“Hi there,” you smile and hold out a hand. “What’s your name?” You pick her up, holding her on your hip so that she doesn’t trip, like Ben so desperately feared.

The second, unknown voice shouts for the little girl again before boots clunk on concrete up to you, rounding your car and stopping. This must be the girl’s father, you realize, as you rake your eyes up his body. He wears the same navy blue jumpsuit as the other man, though it’s unsnapped over his chest, exposing the white t-shirt beneath. The patch on his chest reads Catfish. He wears a ball cap and warm brown curls peek out from under it. He has scruff and a hooked nose that perfectly matches the one on the little girl. “I Mari,” she introduces herself proudly.

“Hey, leave her alone, Mar,” the man shakes his head as he hoists her up to hold her on his hip. “I’m so sorry about that,” he says with an embarrassed smile, showing a dimple beneath the scruff on his chin.

“No, it’s not a problem,” you laugh then set her down and tell the little girl your name. “Aren’t you just the cutest?” You chuckle as she looks at you. She blushes and buries her face in the man’s chest, giggling shyly.

He looks down at the little girl then up at you again. “Well, uh, hi. I’m Frankie, and you’ve met Mari already.”

“Your daughter?” you ask as you look at the pudgy little girl, who now stares at you in awe.

Frankie nods and adjusts his ball cap, pushing his hair back with it. “Yep. Our nanny is on vacation, so she gets to hang out around here,” he chuckles and kisses her head, setting her down. “Go see Benny, yeah?” He asks her. She happily waddles off towards the blonde man, who gives you a wave then heads into the back. “What brings you in?”

“Would you laugh if I told you I don’t really know?” You admit with a shy smile. “My check engine light came on while I was on the highway. I don’t know the first thing about cars, so I was hoping you’d figure out what that meant.”

“Nah, no laughing here,” he nods and gives you a genuine smile before looking over at your car. “Shouldn’t be too much of a problem. I’ll have you pop the hood for me and I’ll give it a look?” He asks.

“That would be great. Thank you,” you tell him, the desperation for his help in your voice. Now that you get the chance to really look at him, he’s quite attractive. His eyes are deep set and a beautiful brown, and they crinkle when he smiles. Facial expressions only accentuate the lines in his face, but he’s certainly not old. His eyes still hold his youth.

“No problem.” He leads you to the car and you pop the hood open before getting out. “Could I take your keys?” he asks you. “Just so I can turn it on and off and all that good stuff.”

“Yeah, of course,” you nod frantically and hand them over to him. “I’ll… be in the waiting room?”

“That’s how we usually do it,” he chuckles as he takes the keys from you. “Just shout for Benny if Mari annoys you again.”

That makes you frown. “She’s not annoying at all. She’s adorable,” you smile as you look over your shoulder and see her and the blonde man playing together.

“The two aren’t mutually exclusive,” he laughs and points his wrench at you as he walks to the hood of the car.

Shaking your head, you can’t help but laugh as you head back to the waiting room. You walk in and Mari perks up, turning to look at you. “Hi! Playing helicopter,” she tells you in her stunted speech as she holds up the toy.

“You sure are,” you nod and sit next to her. “Can I play?” You ask, looking up at Benny, silently asking him the question too.

He nods and Mari squeals happily. “Friend!” She shrieks and hands you another helicopter. “Go pew pew, okay?” She drags them across the toy mat like they’re cars, and you follow suit.

“Okay,” you laugh. Looking up at the blonde man, you extend a smile his way and introduce yourself. He’s busy repairing a Barbie dollhouse with a screwdriver.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Ben, Benny, whatever you wanna call me.”

Driving your helicopter around the ground, following Mari’s lead, you chuckle. “No preference?”

“Fish calls me Benny.”

“Fish?” You ask and tip your head.

“Frankie, whatever. We’re buddies from the service. His code name was Catfish,” the man explains with a shrug, testing the hinges of the plastic door.

That makes you smile down at Frankie’s daughter. “Really, just buddies? Could’ve sworn you’d be brothers,” you tease the blonde, blue-eyed man. “Does Frankie know how to do his daughter’s hair?” You ask and fiddle with her two pigtails.

“Yes, he does,” Frankie insists as he walks out to the front, cleaning a wrench. “But just barely.”

You look up at him, embarrassed. “Her pigtails just look a little messy. Then again, she was running around like crazy,” you laugh and watch her rush over to Frankie, insisting he pick her up.

Bending down to grab her, Frankie groans at the ache in his joints. “She was. I could use some pointers, if you’ve got ‘em.”

“Of course,” you nod and stand too, brushing the dust from the concrete floor off on your pants. “What’s the verdict on the car?” You ask.

Frankie turned, watching as Benny walks out to the shop, but he turns back to face you. “Oh, right. The engine was misfiring, and unburned fuel was being put into the exhaust system, and that damaged the catalytic converter.”

You nod as you listen to him, really staring at his face more than anything. He’s just so damn pretty, you note as you admire the curve of his nose, his slightly sunken and dark eyes. His lips look beautiful and soft, even though they seem a little chapped. When he stops talking, it takes you a second to process it. “I don’t know what that means,” you admit with a shy smile. “I told you. I don’t know shit about cars,” you laugh, playing it off like you were lost when you were really lost in his eyes.

He shakes his head and laughs, bouncing Mari on his hip. “Your car is gonna need some work. Couple hours,” he shrugs. “If Benny and I get to working on it together, an hour and a half, maybe?” He admits.

“Yeah, that’s great. I can watch Mari,” you offer.

Frankie would never be this trusting normally. You’re a straight-up stranger, but your demeanor is good enough for him. Besides, you’re right here. He can check on the two of you every so often, and Mari seems to love you. “That would be great,” he smiles. “You really don’t have to.”

“No, I have nothing better to do,” you chuckle and look at the little girl. “You wanna play?”

Mari nods excitedly and Frankie sets her down. She rushes back to her toy mat and you watch her go. “Thank you, again, for fixing all this.”

“Just doing my job,” he nods. This time, it’s his turn to admire you. He stares at your face, examining the curves and angles that make you up. Your eyes are kind and warm as they follow the little girl, and he can see that he’s making a good choice here.

When you sit down, Mari comes and sits cross-legged across from you. “What are we gonna play?” You ask her, looking at her wide variety of toys. Her pile includes dinosaurs, Matchbox cars, lots of toy helicopters and planes, Barbie dolls, and a plastic tea set.

“Tea party!” She says and hands you a tiny plastic cup and a felt muffin.

“Oh my goodness,” you gasp in a fake accent. “How delightful!”

Frankie peeks over his shoulder at the two of you. He could really get used to that sight.

-

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[siriusmydeer]

ooo okay so a James Potter x reader soulmate au where they feel each others pain, and she has a suspicion he's her soulmate but it's confirmed when he falls off his broom, and she hates him being her soulmate because he's in love with lily, but he says that lily doesn't matter anymore blah blah, and she says she first thought it was him when he fell of a bench in the great hall or something after confessing his love for lily in front of the entire school (1)

‘all along that they were soulmates but she tells him its really inconsiderate for being so obvious about his love for lily when he knew he had a soulmate and he feels really guilty and tries to make it up for her and yeah fluff ending please :)’

the painful soulmate

james potter x fem!reader

summary: in a world where you can feel your soulmates pain; your soulmate happens to think someone else is his soulmate

word count: 2.2k

warning: swearing, mentions of verbally abusing someone, mentions of beating people up, injuries; falling in the air, cracked ribs, tripping, face planting. joking name calling, kissing, angst, soulmate au, insinuation of unrequited love, fluff ending

by the age of 16 you and every other witch along with wizard were given a particular... gift. you wouldn’t consider it a gift, more like your worse fucking nightmare but you could squeal and pretend to be all dainty and excited about meeting your soulmate.

i mean why not give someone a choice on who they wanted to love? this wasn’t a game of spin the bottle this was forever.

being the only female in your friend group, made all the boys amongst you ridiculously pry into your privacy. wanting to know who they had to verbally torture considering they would scoop up the ‘precious little baby-girl’ of the group.

coming directly from the drama queen himself; sirius black. it’s not like they could beat up your partner because you would be able to feel his or her pain as-well.

you were sat in the marauders dorm absently playing with your fingers while looking at each of your mates, sirius and remus attempted to finish their plans on a new prank for the newest defence against the dark arts teacher, james sat at his desk table writing up ways to ask lily more dramatically than the last and peter had been figuring out his transfiguration homework from a few days prior.

“prongs, if you know she’s gonna say no, then why ask?” remus questioned not even looked at the sapphire-eyed boy. his only logic being, ‘well ill turn her no into a yes.’ as if coercion was the way to go.

the brunette sat at the table swiftly turning his head in the lyncanthropes direction, his spectacles almost falling down his nose from the quick snap of his head. “well, lily-pad has always said, ‘not in a million years!’ but that means after a million years she’d go out with me.” finishing his speech with a small grin.

the rest of the group on the other hand looked at him dumbfounded. eyebrows either scrunched or furrowed, “james m’afraid that’s not how it works.” you spoke, trying to ease his feelings as if your words could stop his incessant pining.

“well, i’ll just make it work!” turning around and continuing his list, speaking as if he was godric gryffindor coming up with the best idea of the century. “ten galleons she says no again.” sirius quickly whispers in peters direction, the dirty blonde haired boy doing a quick nod then looking back at his parchment.

“i heard that!”

the next time there was a ramble of soulmate talk, which by the way you were getting exhausted from. why did everyone have to have a soulmate? why couldn’t you pick from your own free will? it’s not even like you could have a bloody crush because there was already someone supposedly out there for you!

one free period, ONE! and it’s spent over peter narrowing down his options on all the gryffindor girls he might be paired with. “it’s definitely not marls, peter.” sirius’ pearl irises glanced at peter than over to remus who was trying to teach you how to play wizards chess.

“moony, not to be offensive, but this game sucks arse.” you shrugged, glaring at your queen piece that looked like it wanted to yell at you. as you were twisting around the wood of your pieces, james got up from the bench catching a glimpse of red among the ravenclaw students. instead tripping on the stone of the bench and face planting into the freshly cut grass.

you felt a soreness at the fronts of your calves and an immense discomfort on your face. you grimaced while rubbing your knees trying to soothe the random shoot of exertion through your veins to the point where you almost had the urge to groan.

james quickly scrambled to his feet trying to brush out his hair that had sprinkles of green all over the front, you completely ignored the fact that james’ fall broken by the stone of the bench had caused you to have a twinge of pain into your system.

“none of you saw that.” he panted with slight embarrassment, directing his message to sirius who had his hand clenched into a fist over his lips attempting to cover up the small chortles that were threatening to escape his lips.

“don’t worry, we saw nothing.” you confirmed with an amused grin, putting your two fingers over your lips like a seal.

he grinned back at you twice as hard, your heart starting more of an upbeat frequency that you started to notice as he sat beside you moving a piece that could ruin remus’ chance at winning.

“you slimy git! you’re helping her cheat, you little slag!” remus whined, trying to analyze the board again.

after your recovery, from absolutely nothing. you were sprawled on the scarlet-couch waiting for the rest of your friends to come back from detention. you dazed into a book remus had recently given to you, an icepack laying on your foot as you were almost hypnotized by the pride and prejudice book in your hands.

“oi, m’lady!” sirius abruptly shouted while returning to his common room. you jumped from the stentorian voice, that sunk into the now not-solemn and peaceful common room.

you turned your head seeing the bespectacled boy limp onto the other vermillion couch and rest his leg onto the plush of the pillow, meanwhile, the fawn and dirty blonde haired boys sat in the gryffindor-red love seats tired from their detention.

“what’s wrong with him?” you asked, referring to james’ leg that was propped under the pillow.

“we don’t know, we were walking and he just picked up his foot in agony. who knows maybe lily stubbed her toe.” sirius amused to the rest of the group. but your eyes widened in concern, but you had— there’s absolutely and completely no way. more than one person can stub their toe in one day, not just— just one person.

almost like you were in a daze or hypnotized, as stealth as possible you grabbed the maroon coloured blanket that was rested on the arm rest of the couch you spread it over your legs covering the foot; that you had injured previously that day.

what the fuck. no seriously, what the fuck. there wasn’t— there couldn’t even be— that wouldn’t work. it’s not possible. the butterflies, the flushed face, the nervous ticks— fuck.

over the course of the next few days, you were very careful. you could’ve been mary friggin’ poppins i mean you didn’t want him to get suspicious if you were both injured at the same time. you also did not want to know if he— the boy pining over lily fucking evans since first year was possibly— no there’s no way.

the following week there was a slytherin and gryffindor quidditch game. which also happened to be incredibly nerve wracking not only for you but between both houses, as much as slytherin wanted to seem nonchalant there act was simply not going to work. this determined who would be playing in the quidditch house cup, slytherins also happened to not play the fairest in quidditch so extra gryffindor training was keen.

well now that following week, was today. the game was fine, great even. gryffindor was in the lead and james was about to score a quaffle in the hoop, that was until slytherin beater decided to bat a bludger right into james torso causing him to collapse off his broom twenty five feet into the air with nothing to break his fall. at the reflect of the bludger on james ribs you already groaned hunched over into your seat catches the attention of both peter and sirius.

dumbledore did all the spells he could in such a swiftly manner before james skidded on the muddy grass of the pitch. by then you couldn’t even hold in the moans and groans from his affliction with the hard iron bludger and the fall from the air.

both peter and sirius’ eyes widened and shared a look before taking concern to your arching figure. “m’god i didn’t think it hurt that bad!” you groaned into your hands that could almost be seen as trembling from the agony that you were in as james’ team mates brought him down to the infirmary to check for injuries which he did in-fact have.

after sirius had brought you to your dorm, attempting to do a spell to rid you of most-but not all of your pain he raced to healers wing, seeing james on the verge of unconsciousness as madam pomfrey tried to whip up a potion in a fast manner to heal the boy.

i guess it was true— james was your soulmate. your soulmate in love with another woman that is.

a few hours later james was ordered to stay the night for observation, while both sirius and peter decided to catch up remus along with james up on the other ‘things’ more, or less, that occurred during the quidditch match.

him, and lily.... weren’t soulmates? he thought maybe one day they would’ve ended up together, at some point. not his very best friend being the one he’s ‘destined’ with. but he was desperate to speak with you, how did you know? did you even know? how bad did it hurt? he had so many questions scattered around his brain, until he saw your face that was close to a grimace from pain.

“hi.” you whispered, catching his attention.

“hey.” he whispered back hoarsely, gulping at the sudden tension in the room.

“so we’re—“ “you’re my—“ you both spoke at the same time, following an humourless more-so nervous chuckle, from the both of you.

“how long— did you even know?” james started, looking at your figure as if you didn’t know what to do with yourself.

you sat down nervously, cracking your knuckles as you were unsure where to start. “i thought— i started wondering, that day me and rem were playing chess and you fell.” you cleared your throat while speaking, avoiding eye contact entirely. “my knees started to hurt, but i didn’t even notice it. the day that you came into the common room limping, was when i suspected it.” you wrung your fingers together nervously, then looking into his irises.

“you knew? why didn’t you—“ his anger already starting to get the best of him, you knew that you were his soulmate. you were right in-front of him, but you never told him; he almost felt betrayed.

“i didn’t know! only suspected. but you have to understand, james. you were incessantly pinning after lily, you claimed you were ‘in love with her’. you’re making it seem like it was gonna be so easy for me to tell you that ‘guess what, james! the girl you love actually isn’t your soulmate and it’s your best friend you have no interest in!’ prongs, m’fraud s’not that easy.” you mocked, proving your correct argument to him based on his actions.

he took a shaky breath, analyzing basically his whole life in-front of him. even though he might’ve ‘loved’ lily, you were still more important to him. soulmate or not, he would always go to you first. he could barely stand to fight with you, he couldn’t loose you over some silly crush that he had.

“it doesn’t matter— lily— she doesn’t matter. y/n it’s you, soulmate, not soulmate, who cares! lily or not lily, you’ve always been my go-to, my number one, i mean you’ve always been the most important!” he said drastically while punctuating his words, and flailing his arms in the air to prove his point to you.

you sighed looking at him, almost unsure of his words. he looked at you expectantly before speaking again, “i’ll get on my knees right now and beg to you. with broken— well now bruised but priory broken ribs. not to mention my stubbed toe.” he chuckled at last second trying to humour you.

“oh my g— get up!” you snickered at him, james potter was on his knees fighting all the pride in his system right in-front of you where you were sat. his hands grasped both sides of your thighs trying to soothe you into you forgiving him.

at the sight of him right infront of you, with the best sirius black puppy dog eyes he could muster with a pouted lip you immediately gave in. “fine.” you sighed, “fine, fine, fine.” you giggled.

both of his hands encasing your cheeks, a small pout on your lips. “can i kiss you?” he asked, his elbows resting on your thighs. you looked at him pretending to ponder off in thought; shrugging while you spoke, “hmmm, maybe. i gues—“ he quickly cut you off, kissing your pouted lips in the middle of a sentence.

you kissed back, holding his face between your agile fingers. your right hand resting on his squared jaw and the other in his fluffy and borderline-sweaty hair. your lips slotting together, he could feel the mint taste from the gum you have chewed earlier bleed onto his tastebuds; you on the other hand, not such a memorable taste.

you quickly pulled away, a dramatic whine escaping from his throat. “you remember when you face planted into the dirt earlier?” you giggled while asking him. he looked at you confused; why would... you... be asking if he remembered himself falling?

“erm, yeah i can recall.”

“yeah your mouth tastes like dirt.”

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[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love and Medicine ~ 3

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 4,600ish

Summary: The beginning of your intern year continues.

Warnings: man parts (lol) and talk about rape

You really tried your best, but you couldn’t get the image of a naked Dr. Steve Rogers on the floor of your living room out of your head. You had decided one night that, to help get the image out of your head, you needed roommates. The house that you had inherited was big enough and the longer you lived there, the lonelier it became. So, you created a ‘roommates wanted’ sign and posted it in the locker room before your shift.

You had several interns come up to you explaining why they would be the perfect roommate for you within the first few hours of your shift. It was annoying and you turned every single one of them down, being very particular about who was going to live with you.

“Why do you put up posters for roommates if you don’t want roommates?” Val asked as you, her, and Scott walked down a corridor.

“I do want roommates,” you defended. 

“And why can’t we be those roommates?” Scott wondered

“We’re just together a hundred hours a week, you want to live together too?”

“No,” Natasha responded, walking up to the group. “Ooh, you’re bringing bribes now?” She motioned to the cup of coffee in your hand.

“I need a place to live,” Scott rambled. “My mom irons my scrubs. I have to get out of there.”

“It’s not a bride,” you told Natasha before turning to Scott. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“But I can’t put down last, first, and deposit,” Scott argued.

“It’s totally a bride,” Natasha scoffed.

“I can cook,” Val added. “And I can clean.”

“No,” you stated. “I just want two total strangers who I don't have to talk to, or be nice to, and it's not a bribe, it's a mocha latte.”

“Clint, you’re running the code team,” Gamora ordered as you all walked up to her. “Y/N, take the trauma patients, Natasha, deliver the weekend labs to patients, Val, you’re on sutures, and Scott, you’re on scut.”

“Dr. Gamora,” you called. “I was hoping to assist you in the OR today, maybe do a minor procedure? I think I'm ready. Mocha latte?” You held the cup out for her.

“If she gets to cut, I want to cut too,” Natasha added.

“Yeah, me too,” Val joined in.

“I wouldn’t mind another shot,” Scott shrugged.

“And if everybody else gets one, then I do too!” Clint said.

“Stop talking,” Gamora demanded. You all fell silent. “Every intern wants to perform their first surgery, that's not your job. Do you know what your job is? To make your resident happy. Do I look happy? No. Why? Because my interns are whining. You know what will make me look happy? Having the code team staffed, having the trauma patients taken care of, having the weekend labs delivered, and having someone down in the Pit, doing the sutures.” She swiped the mocha latte from your hand. “No one holds a scalpel until I'm so happy I'm Mary freakin' Poppins.”

“Mocha latte my ass,” Natasha grumbled.

“Why’re y’all still standing there? Move!”

Everyone moved, you heading to the elevator with a few files. You paused in your steps when you noticed who was waiting at the elevator. Dr. Steve Rogers. You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself, before making your way to stand and wait next to him. When he noticed you, he tried to hide the pleasant smile that wanted to take over his face.

“New York has ferry boats,” he stated.

“Yes,” you replied, a bit confused.

“I didn’t remember that. I grew up here then left, now I’ve been living here for six weeks, and I didn’t remember there were ferry boats.”

“Well, Manhattan is an island.”

“Hence the ferry boats.” The elevator arrived and the two of you stepped onto it. “Now I have to like it here. I wasn’t planning on liking it here. I just moved here from the country. I’m supposed to not like big cities like Manhattan. But I have a thing for ferry boats.”

The elevators doors closed, leaving them alone in the elevator. He was leaning against the wall behind you as you stood in the middle, holding the files to your body. You hoped that he couldn’t hear your heart pounding in your chest. 

“I’m not going out with you,” you blurted. You don’t know if you were trying to tell him that or if you were trying to convince yourself that you weren’t interested.

“Did I ask you to go out with me?” He questioned. He paused before asking the next, “Do you want to go out with me?”

“I'm not dating you. And I'm definitely not sleeping with you again. You're my boss.”

“I'm your boss's boss.”

“You're my teacher. And my teacher's teacher. And you're my teacher.”

“I'm your sister, I'm your daughter,” he joked.

“You're sexually harassing me.”

“I'm riding an elevator.” He stepped towards you, you could practically feel him breathing down your neck. You spun around to face him.

“Look, I'm drawing a line. The line is drawn. There's a big line.”

“So, this line. Is it imaginary, or do I need to get you a marker?”

You stared at him for a second, basking in all his attractiveness. It didn’t take you very long to go ‘screw it’ and drop the files you were holding and kiss him. Steve was a tad surprised but caught on quickly. When the elevator dinged, you quickly crouched down to pick up the files and rushed out of the elevator. Steve stood there, looking amused.

“We’ll talk later?” He called after you. You ignored him and he chuckled to himself. “Definitely, later.”

~~~

In between taking care of patients, you had interns begging you to let them be your roommate. You were slowly regretting the idea of roommates the longer the day went on. Thankfully, your pager rang and requested you down in the ER.

“You the surgeon?” A nurse asked as you entered the room.

“Yes,” you replied.

“We’ve got a rape victim. 21-year-old female found down at the park, status: post-trauma, she came in with a GCS of 6, BP 80 over 60, head trauma, unequal breath sounds, right pupil is dilated, and she's ready for x-ray. You ready to roll?” You were listening but also focused on the girl’s shoes. They were the same ones you had worn to work. “Hey!”

“Uh, sorry,” you stumbled. “Yeah. Call it in to clear CT, let them know I'm coming, load up the portable monitor, call respiratory for a ventilator, I'll get x-rays while I'm down there.”

You quickly learned that the girls name was Mallory and, just by you reading the scans alone, she would be needing surgery. Dr. Banner and Dr. Rogers were both called in while you were allowed to watch and hopefully assist.

“She’s going to spend a hell of a lot of time in recovery and rehab,” Dr. Rogers stated.

“If she survives,” Dr. Banner added.

“What is she, like, 5'2", a hundred pounds, she's still breathing after what this guy did to her? If they catch the guy, they should castrate him.”

“See how shredded her hands are? She tried to fight back.”

“Tried to?” Dr. Stark repeated, walking into the room. “Rape kit came back negative. She kicked his ass.”

“So, we have a warrior amount us, huh?” Rogers questioned. 

“Hell yeah we do! I just came in to tell you about the rape kit and to see if you needed me anytime soon. Can’t have the poor girl be reminded of the incident with so many scars.”

“Mallory,” you interrupted. “Her—her name is Mallory.”

“Mallory,” Rogers and Stark repeated. 

“I think I may have found the cause of our rupture,” Banner said, pulling out a piece of flesh. “What is this?” He held it up. “Does anyone know what this is?”

“Oh my gosh,” you gasped, with Dr. Stark snickering from the sidelines.

“What? Spit it out, L/N.”

“She bit it off.”

“Bit off what?”

“That’s his…” You swallowed. “His penis.” Shocked groans filled the OR. “She bit off his penis.”

“Told you she kicked his ass!” Stark exclaimed as Banner couldn’t toss the piece of flesh into the try fast enough. 

~~~

After the surgery, the penis was placed in a small cooler. You were tasked to bring it to Fury for the police. You knocked at the door of his office, where an older woman is in there.

“Hi, is the chief in?” You asked.

“He’s on his way,” she responded. “Is that it?”

“Can I see it?” You looked down at the box and then up again. “No, forget I asked.”

“Y/N, it’s good to see you,” Fury greeted as he entered, going to his desk.

“You too, sir,” you responded with a nod. “Listen, so they said to bring this to you,” you lifted up the cooler. “So…?”

“Yes, for the police,” Fury responded.

“Right.”

“When did the police say they'll come?” Fury asked his assistant.

“You know how slow they are,” she answered. “So, she’d better take it with her.”

“What?” You questioned.

“You have to take it with you.”

“Chain of custody rules,” Fury explained. “All medical matter in a rape must stay with the person who collected it, until it's placed in police custody.”

“You collected the specimen, so you have custody.”

“Custody of a penis…” You said.

“Yes,” Fury answered. “Until the cops come for it.”

“Okay. Well, what am I supposed to do with the penis?”

Fury simply shrugged before excusing you. You huffed, leaving the office with the cooler. You wandered the halls until you saw Clint working at a desk. You walked over, setting the cooler down and causing Clint to look up at you.

“What’s that?” He pointed to the cooler as he asked.

“Don’t ask, you don’t want to know,” you responded.

“I do want to know. Really.”

“You really want to know?” Clint nodded. “It’s a severed penis.”

“Okay… I didn’t really want to know.”

“Told you.”

“I didn’t know why I have to be the one who gets hugged,” Natasha complained to Peter as they walked up.

“Because, I don’t do that,” Peter replied. “Besides, you're the ovarian sister here.”

“Did you just call me an ovarian sis— an ovarian— since when has the possession of ovaries become an insult?”

“Y/N’s carrying a penis around in a jar,” Clint interrupted.

“Oh, from the rape surgery?” Natasha looked around.

“Yeah,” you answered. “And it’s not a jar, it’s a cooler.”

“Talk about taking a bite out of crime.” Natasha chuckled as she left.

You were suddenly lost in your head, unable to stop thinking about Mallory’s shoes. They were the same as yours. You had worn them to work today, which was weird. You never really wear them.

“You okay?” Clint asked.

“Yeah… it’s just… Mallory's shoes. The rape victim, Mallory, her shoes. I have the same ones. In my locker. And I normally never wear them, because they're not comfortable, but today I did, and she was wearing the same shoes, and it's just… stupid, and I'm tired, and forget it.”

“You know what you need?” Clint stared at you.

“No. It’s stick and twisted. We said last time was the last time.” Clint looked away. “You’ve been doing it without me?”

“Nancy Reagan lied. You can't just say no. Come on.”

“Do you know what would happen if anyone knew?”

“I'm doing it. You can come with me… or you can stay here, and be miserable.”

“Fine,” you tried to hold back a smile as you followed Clint. 

He led you to the nursery, where you two stood at the window and watched the babies. You laughed as Clint did some baby talk.

“You are such a woman,” you laughed.

Clint’s pager beeped before he could retorted. “It’s a code,” he sighed. “I gotta go.” 

He left, leaving you to sigh as you watched the babies.

“You are really cute,” you whispered as you looked at them.

As you watched them, you noticed at one of the babies was struggling. His face was slowly turning blue. You quickly entered the nursery, setting the cooler to the side before checking the babies chart. Then you sided your stethoscope to check on the babies heart.

“What are you doing in here?” A Peds Intern asked, walking into the room.

“There were no tests ordered,” you answered. “And the baby has a murmur.”

“I know.”

“He turned blue.”

“You're surgery, you're not authorized to be in here. Do you know how much trouble you can get into for this?”

“Are you going to do any tests?”

“It's a benign systolic ejection murmur. It goes away with age.”

“So you're not going to do any tests.”

“He's not your patient, he's not even on your service.”

“Are you sure it’s benign?”

“I'm a doctor too, you know. You should get out of here.”

Deciding you’d rather not get in trouble, you grabbed the cooler and left. You were stopped along your wandering by more interns who wanted to room with you. After having listened to three of them, you walked away, still unimpressed, and went to Mallory’s room. You were looking at her through the window when Dr. Rogers came up.

“Y/N,” he greeted. “I've called every hospital in the county. Sooner or later, the guy that did this is going to seek medical attention, and when he does, that penis you're carrying around is going to nail him.”

“Where is her family?” You asked.

“Doesn’t have any.”

“No siblings?”

“No. Both parents are dead. She just moved to New York three weeks ago. Welcome to the city.” When you didn’t give a response he turned to look at you. You were lost in your thoughts. “Y/N, you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. I just… I just have to do something. I have to go.”

“Right. I’m going to sit with her.”

You nodded before rushing away to find Dr. Banner.

“Dr. Banner?” You called when you saw him.

“Mmm?” He hummed, turning to face you.

“There's a baby up in peds, I saw him have a tet spell, and I think I hear a murmur.”

“Mmm. Did peds call us for a consult?”

“Actually, no. They’re not doing anything about it—“

“So you want me to what?”

“If you could just go up and look at him—“

“Mm-hmm, not without a Peds consult.”

“Yeah, but—“

“I’m a busy man, L/N, and there are rules. Look, it’s not like I’m the Chief or something.”

Then he stocked off, leaving you frustrated. 

“Stupid rules.”

~~~

Eventually, you found a spot in the lobby to sit. Just waiting for the cops to show up.

“What’re you doing down here?” Natasha asked when she came across you.

“Just sitting here with my penis,” you responded. “What about you?”

“Hiding from Peter.” She sat beside you.

“I kissed Steve.”

“You kissed Steve.”

“In the elevator.”

“Oh, you kissed him in the elevator.”

“I was having a bad day. I am having a bad day.”

“Oh, so this is what you do on your bad days. Make out with Captain McDreamy.” You both stood up.

“Well, that, and you know, carrying around a penis just makes everything seem so shiny and happy.”

“Mmm. Clint said Mallory was wearing your shoes.”

“Yeah. It’s weird, right?”

“I think it’s weird that you care.”

“I think it’s weird.”

From outside, a car swerves. You and Natasha could hear it from inside, causing you to rush out. A man staggered out of the car, clothes soaked in blood, mainly around his crotch. He collapses. Other doctors and nurses followed you out and immediately began checking on him. You immediately knew that the guy was the owner of the penis you had been carrying around all day. The other doctors brought him into a trauma room. You followed, quickly calling security.

“So, what’ve we got?” Gamora asked as she entered.

“Take a look,” you responded.

“What?” She leaned closer. “Alright, let’s get him to OR 1. Y/N, you call the Chief and let him know we got the rapist.”

~~~

You and Natasha were in the OR with Gamora and Stark. They were working on the rapist.

“I saw Mallory,” you said, eyes on the operating table. “You can’t believe the beating that she took. And then to see this…”

“It's like that old saying, you should see the other guy,” Natasha said.

“Okay, kiddos, why are we not attempting to reattach the severed penis?” Dr. Stark asked.

“Teeth don’t slice, they tear. You can only reattach with a clean cut. If she wanted to slice him off with a knife…”

“Besides,” you continued for Natasha, “the digestive juices didn't leave much of the flesh to work with.”

“Right,” Gamora agreed, “so what do we do?”

“Sew him up minus a large part of the family jewels,” Natasha answered.

“And his outlook?”

“He'll be urinating out of a bag for a very, very long time,” Natasha added.

“Oh, too bad.”

“Shame.”

“I can’t imagine not having sex,” Stark commented. “I think that I would just end my life if I couldn’t do a round every day.” Everyone looked at him. “What? It shouldn’t be that surprising.”

“No wonder, Dr. Potts keeps turning you down,” Gamora said.

“I’ll get her one day. Just you wait. I’m going to marry that woman if it’s the last thing I do.”

~~~

You met with the police after the surgery where they told you that they couldn’t send their crime scene guy down for hours. Annoyed, you searched for your intern friends. You found them in the empty corridor, sitting on the beds.

“So, the police say that they can’t send down the crack crime scene guy for hours,” you told them as you entered, sitting down beside Natasha. “So I have to spend the night with a penis. Peter, don’t say it.”

“Ahh, it was too easy anyway,” Peter responded.

“Who here feels like they have no idea what they’re doing?” Scott asked. Everyone of you, but Peter, raised a hand.

“I mean, are we supposed to be learning something?” Clint wondered. “Because I don’t feel like I’m learning anything.”

“Except how not to sleep,” Val added.

“It’s like there’s this wall,” Natasha said, “and the attending and the residents are over there, being surgeons, and we’re over here, being—“

“Suturing, code running, lab delivering penis-minders,” you grumbled.

“I hate being an intern,” Peter stated.

Gamora walked into the hallway, looking expectant. All of you interns quickly got up and took your leave. All the others had things to do, so you found yourself in front of the babies again. As you looked at the baby you’re so worried about, you noticed the parents. Taking a deep breath, you decided to go up to them.

“Hi,” you greeted with a soft smile.

“Hi,” the mother greeted back.

“Is he yours?” You nodded to the baby.

“Yeah,” the mother smiled.

“He’s adorable… Have you noticed anything that would concern you?”

“No,” the father responded. “Have you?”

“Earlier today I noticed him turning blue.”

“Blue?” The mother repeated.

“Yes. I checked him and I heard a murmur.”

“We were told that the murmur was benign,” the father stated.

“I don’t think it is. I think—“

“You are so out of line,” the Peds Intern interrupted.

“She says the murmur might not be benign,” the father said.

“I think we should do an echo, to check,” you suggested.

“This is your career,” the intern said, going to get her resident.

“There’s really no reason to get alarmed,” you told the parents.

“What’s the problem?” The resident asked, coming back with the intern.

“If our baby is sick, we want him treated,” the mother ordered. “Now.”

“Who said your baby was sick?”

“Her,” the Peds Intern answered, pointing to you. “The surgical intern who has no business on our service.”

“Who authorized you being here?”

“I was just,” you began, “actually—“

“I did,” Dr. Banner came up from behind you. “Could you excuse us for a second?” Dr. Banner took the resident to the side, but not far enough for you to not hear. “Are you messing with my intern, Dr. Keener?”

“No, sir,” the resident responded.

Dr. Banner turned back to you and the other intern. “Give me the chart.”

“There’s nothing wrong with him,” the intern said, giving up the chart, “I checked.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“You can guarantee that he is fine, you are 100% sure.”

The intern looked hesitant.

“How sure are you?” The resident questioned.

“I don’t know,” the intern responded. “75%.”

“Not good enough,” Banner said. “He’s my patient now. That okay with you, Dr. K?”

“Absolutely,” the resident responded.

“He can take our patient?” The intern asked.

“He’s an attending.”

“Which means I can do whatever I want,” Banner replied before heading to the parents. “Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, I’m Dr. Banner, head of cardio. We’re going to run some tests and give you an answer within the hour. Excuse me.” He turned to you. “L/N.” He motioned for you to follow, which you quickly did. “I want an EKG, a chest x-ray, and an ECHO. I don’t have all day.”

“You’re a busy man.”

“I’m a busy man.”

You quickly ordered the tests then wandered the hospital more, since you weren’t allowed to do anything while you were watching the penis. After a little while, you found Dr. Banner again.

“Well?” You asked as you walked up to him.

“It’s a birth defect,” Dr. Banner replied. “Tetrology affirmed lower pulmonary artresia. You were right. I'm booking the OR for tomorrow.”

“Thank you for backing me up on this.”

“Whoa, whoa, wait, whoa. You were right. But if you ever pull a stunt like that again...going to the parents behind a doctor's back? Trying to steal a patient from another service? I will make your residency year hell on earth.”

He walked off and you smiled slightly to yourself. You made your way back to the babies, where you watched, from the other side of the window, Banner talk to the parents.

“His heart surgery is scheduled for the morning,” the Peds Intern told you. “I really did think I was right, you know.”

“I know. We almost never are. We're interns,” you responded. “We're not supposed to be right. And when we are, it's completely shocking.”

“Are you— I mean, being an intern, do you feel…”

“Terrified. 100% of the time.”

“Good, it’s not just me.”

“No.”

You decided, after finishing up with the babies, to go check on Mallory. When you arrived, you realized that Steve was still in there.

“How is she?” You asked, standing in the doorway.

“No change,” Steve answered with a sigh.

“Have you been here all night?”

“Mm-hmm. Yup… If I was in a comma, I’d want someone to be here. I know I would have people there. Having no one? Can’t imagine that.”

“I can.”

“Don’t you have any family?”

“I do. Just… I don’t think they’d come.”

Steve watched you carefully before speaking again. “So… we’re kissing but we’re not dating?”

“I knew that was going to come up.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I like the kissing. I’m all for the kissing. More kissing, I say.”

“I have no idea what that was about.”

“Is it going to happen again? Because if it is, I need to bring breath mints. Put a condom in my wallet.”

“Shut up now.” Steve laughed. “There was this baby up in the nursery. He's brand new. No one's neglected him or damaged him yet. How do we get from there to here? She's wearing my shoes and someone's beat the crap out of her, and she's got nobody.”

Suddenly, Mallory’s machine’s began beeping. You quickly hit an alarm on the wall.

“Her ICP’s double, get an OR!” Steve yelled. “Put her in for a craniotomy!”

~~~

You waited outside the OR, still watching over the stupid penis, while Steve operated on Mallory. You were nervous for her and felt bad that no one was there for her. Once the surgery was over, Steve exited the OR, walking past you. When he noticed you were there, he turned back.

“Hey,” he greeted. “I, uh, I had to leave her skull flap off, till the pressure in her brain goes down.”

“She’s not going to make it, is she?” You asked.

“She’s going to be fine.”

“If she ever wakes up.”

Steve nodded. “If she ever wakes up.” You nodded, biting your lip as you looked away. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” Your pager went off. You looked down to see it was the Chief. “I’ve gotta go. That’s the Chief. Maybe I can finally get rid of this thing.” You lifted the cooler slightly.

“Yeah,” Steve chuckled. “Good luck.”

~~~

“So here is where you put the signature, down here, the initials,” Fury’s assistant pointed out on a paper.

“Mmm,” you hummed with a nod, taking the paper and pen from her. “Okay.”

“It just says that the penis was never out of your sight.”

“Of course.” You sighed and handed over the paper. “There you go. One penis.” You glanced at the clock and realized that it was time for the baby’s surgery. “Am I all done here? I kinda want to go watch a surgery.”

“Sure.”

You tried to rush, but not rush, to the OR Dr. Banner was working in. When you arrived, you found a spot in the back.

“We'll be using a medium approach for a trans-ventricular repair with a right ventriculostomy,” Banner explained. “Let’s open him up. L/N!” He looked around for you.

“Yes, sir?” You replied.

“Go scrub in. When we've finished cracking the baby's chest, I'll let you hold the clamp.”

“Seriously?” You tried to contain your excitement.

“Don’t make me change my mind.”

You rushed to scrubbed in. And, let’s just say, holding onto that clamp was a rush and just what you needed to help brighten your shift. After that, you went to watch the babies, Val, Clint, and Scott all joining you.

You let out a sigh. “Okay, fine,” you relented. “You guys can move into the house.”

“Yes! Yes!” The guys shouted.

“I can’t believe you caved!” Val laughed.

“I can’t believe it either,” you mumbled, trying to hide the smile.

~~~

You changed out of your scrubs and stared at the shoes in your locker. You couldn’t stop thinking about how weird it was that you had decided to wear those shoes today. With determination, you shut the locker on your shoes and went to the elevator. Steve was there waiting.

“So… it’s intense…” he started. “This thing I have for, ah, ferry boats… I mean.”

You smiled at him. “I’m so taking the stairs this time.” You walked off.

“No self-control,” he called after you. “It’s sad. Really.” He chuckled to himself as you continued to walk away. “Wow… this is so—“

“Weird. It’s weird,” Dr. Stark came up, ready to go too. “Like I said before, that look is bad news. And you—“

“Didn’t I already tell you to shut it Tony?”

“Fine.” Tony held his hands up. “But, seriously, don’t come crying to me when it all blows up in your face.”

next chapter >

NOTES: from now on the taglist when be added by a reblog. I will reblog it using my second account, @just-dreaming-marvel-2​​. Just so that my main page doesn’t get too cluttered.

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

#steve rogers x reader #tony stark x reader #gamora x reader #the avengers x reader #avengers x reader #peter quill x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #clint barton x reader #scott lang x reader #marvel imagine #marvel imagines #valkyrie x reader

[gottawriteanegoortwo]

Darkstache Week: Day Five - Costumes

Other Days: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven Ao3 Link

Wilford gets the top prize for nearly forgetting to organise the couples’ costume with Dark!

Word Count: 987

-

Two days until the party.

Wilford was standing in his dressing room-office with a hand on his hip and a marker perched on the back of his ear. The stolen whiteboard took pride of place in the middle of the room. Notes were sprawled all over with all the relevant facts and topics about Hallowe'en. He had been crossing them off as they were covered, but there was something missing.

"You're looking a little perplexed there, sir," Bim remarked as he entered the room with New Jim right on his heels. "Still getting your party ready?"

"Yeah… I've covered everythin' I’ve written. Forgot somethin’, I think." The pen was swiftly pulled from its resting place so Wilford could tap it against his chin thoughtfully. "An' anywho, it's been nice ta have an excuse ta spend time with Dark -"

"Aside from the fact you two live together?"

"... Shaddap, Bim. Hey, yer still able ta come on Sunday, right?"

While the pair talked about the party plans, New Jim slowly approached the whiteboard. Wilford's writing was messy, and it was a challenge deciphering the categories when they had a line through them. He tilted his head left, then right.

"Costumes?"

"Hm? Ya say somethin', kid?" Wilford turned his attention to the youth, who nodded.

"You don't have 'costumes' on the board." New Jim tried to step aside, but a firm grip from the head reporter kept him in place. Wilford used the pen as a guide to point him through each of the topics, muttering under his breath. Sure enough, 'costumes' was missing. He slapped his forehead.

"How did I forget - Kid, yer a genius. Y've got that good observational-whatchamacallit that this team really needs. Now if ya both excuse me, I gotta get this matter addressed!"

-

The door to Dark's office was closed, complete with a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on it. To anyone else, that would have been enough to deter them from entering - even Wilford hesitated when he saw the sign. He pressed an ear to the door. Silence. It wasn't a meeting. That meant it ought to be safe to enter.

"Darkling?" He knocked on the door. No answer. That wasn't right. He tried again. Nothing. "Sweetie Pie? Night Blossom? Shadowkins?"

"Yes?"

"GAH!" Wilford jumped and spun around. Dark stood in the corridor with a bottle of water in his hand.

"You look as though you've seen a ghost. Is something the matter?" Dark chuckled. Wilford's choice of movie had worked a treat in helping lighten Dark's mood after yesterday.

"I, uh, yeah! We got a problem - we don't, y'know - we've no costumes for the party!" Words briefly failed him, but Wilford got the point out. "We can't be Hallowe'en Party hosts without bein’ all dressed up!" Dark hummed, giving a feigned thoughtful expression to Wilford’s plight.

"That is a serious matter. Step into the office. We must find a solution before we lose the chance." Dark unlocked the door and gestured for Wilford to enter first.

-

"- so I'm thinkin' we go fer a couple's costume. It'll be cute, fer one; an' stylish, fer two." Wilford had pulled his office whiteboard out of the closet in Dark's office to use for brainstorming. The side that had been blank was now dedicated to costume ideas. The reporter stood in the middle of the room like he was pitching a show idea, while Dark sat on his desk. "It also means that whatever ya do, I'll do too. One half of a pair, y'know? So it'd be things like… Doctor an' nurse, or cop an' robber."

"The costumes don't have to follow the tradition of being scary?" Dark inquired. "That does broaden horizons."

"Mhmm! So we can have fun! We can go as a famous tag-team. Like Salt an’ Pepper. Or Bert an’ Ernie!" Dark threw Wilford a bemused look. "No? Then maybe somethin’ a little more stylish. What 'bout Dracula an' his bride?"

"What?"

"What? I'd look cute as fuck in a short skirt! Or… oh! Movie characters! Y'd make a cute Mary Poppins! We could give ya pants instead if ya don't wanna wear a skirt."

"I already spend my days minding immature people. Might be best to not give them a reminder." But it was a good idea. "What about Mickey and Minnie Mouse?"

Wilford gasped. "That'd be so cute!! We could put a spin on it an' dress 'em up from another time. Imagine them in th' fifties!!" 

On it went. The new ideas were scribbled on the board and discussed properly. As Wilford marked his favourites and crossed off rejected ideas, Dark’s heel tapped against the solid dark wood of the desk. This conversation had planted an idea in his mind.

"We can’t seem to come to a complete agreement on this. We want something that is easy to recognise, might be entertaining, but also has a sense of style to it. Not only that, it needs to still make sense by itself if the other isn’t nearby… I have a ridiculous idea."

"No such thing in my book, honeybunch. What are ya thinkin'?"

"What if we dress as ourselves? But - hear me out - you dress like me, and I dress like you. Then again, that would mean you have to shave-"

"Wait wait! It can still work! It’s like an inspiration kinda thing rather than a totally correct costume. An' we can help each other get th' right 'style!" Wilford crossed the office to lean back on the desk beside Dark. "Yer gonna look cute in pink."

"You'll look handsome in black. I'm sorry you'll have to dye your moustache for the day."

"Nonsense. Look at this!" He sharply tugged both ends of his facial hair. The moustache's colour rippled to black like someone running their hand over a sequin pillow. "When we get home, we can start looking through our clothes! I’ve got some shirts that’ll look adorable on ya."

#darkstache #projectdarkstache2021 #darkstacheweek2021 #writersofmark #(meanwhile; the Wilford I write in a Discord server with friends is going as a sexy crayon due to lack of impulse control)

[thestalkerbunny]

What are your favorite twilight zone episodes?

Oh god you get me; you aBSOLUTELY get me. So fun fact about me, I LOVE the Twilight Zone. I doubt any series of horror has enthralled me in such a captivating way as the ‘Zone’ did as a kid. The Horror in that show is just so real and authentic because of the time period. So I”m gonna do you what I think is the personal best episodes for me-pictures included!

So let’s get to Stalky’s Top Ten ZONE EPISODES

10: The Masks

A dying wealthy man is down to his last few hours of life on the eve of Mardi Gras and his spoiled selfish heirs are there to watch him die and get what is theirs-with the catch, until midnight they must wear hideous masks that compliment their awful personalities. This one always stuck with me because The sheer anticipation of what will happen in the end and the fact that all their heirs are just so very unlikable, it’s very much like the movie ‘Knives Out’ but much more tame-nobody gets murdered, but just the ending thrilled me the first time I saw it

9: The Monsters are Due on Maple Street

A Street full of neighbors experiencing a black out turn on each other in violent mob mentality of the blame game. This is a CLASSIC, This is true pure and realistic horror because it really asks the question ‘how well do you know your neighbors and do you trust them’ it also was very much a product of it’s time in the era of the Cold War were even in your own neighborhood, even your neighbors could be a ‘communist’ in disguise. The Ending was a real rug jerker for me. For those of you who haven’t seen the ending-you gotta go watch it. Just less than 15 minutes of your time. Iconic. They did a remake of it once but it didn’t HIT the way it did the first time.

8. Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?

A Bus making a stop realizes that there is one extra person among them is not accounted for and they may not be of this world. Now THIS is the originally ‘Among Us’ There is one more person on the manifesto and we gotta find out who the imposter is. This one just felt so witty and just the energy of the Moustache guy really stole the show for me as well as the diner chef. The twist was GREAT and I still catch myself thinking about it sometimes when I’m in a ‘ZONE’ mood

7. The Midnight Sun

The Earth is slowly falling into the Sun. We watch as a woman falls apart as the whole world around her burns. Now being a southern girl with a house whose ac loves to just BITE it in the DEAD of summer I FEEL this episode with all my soul. If you’re ever the littlest bit chilly, you watch ‘Midnight Sun’ and you can FEEL yourself melting along with this poor suffering woman in this apartment complex. Just watching these poor people just lose their minds to the heat is so real because just slight temperature changes just make people irrational and insane.

6. I sing the Body Electric

Children get a New Grandma! A ROBOT GRANDMA! This one is such a heart warming episode and concept, like if you don’t like scary stuff but still wanna know the Twilight Zone, you watch ‘Body Electric’ It’s very much a ‘Mary Poppins’ sort of story and it’s sweet and the way it explains what happens to the Grandmother once her job is done should be applied to all robots concepts of the afterlife. Plus the store the family goes to in order to make their custom grandma is kinda spooky. Like build a bear. But for Grandmas.

5. Number 12 looks JUST like you

In  Future, You can be anyone you want to be, because the cosmetic surgery is Mandatory. One girl protests it. This one breaks my heart because for some people, this is reality, they’re pressured into changing even though they’re happy with their looks but society refuses to accept them. You know how in cartoons there’s the trope of the popular girls being surrounded by identical clones. That. It’s that. It’s often confused with another iconic episode that talks about how beauty is about perspective and what people will go thru to try and be the standard for society.

4. Night of the Living Doll

A little girl’s doll decides to teach an abusive Step Father a lesson. TALKY TINA WALKED. SHE FUCKING STRUTTED THAT RUNWAY MAMA. SO CHUCKY/TIFFANY/BRAHMNS/ANNABELLE COULD FUCKING RUN. She was the ORGINAL Doll that is up to NO GOOD. We are ROOTING for Talky Tina. She is a QUEEN. WE STAN A LEGEND. The Dad is such a douche bag I do not feel bad at ALL for what happens to him.

3. One for the Angels

A sidewalk sales man stalls for time to save another’s life from Death himself. This one is a sweet one, the salesman-Marky-is just so genuine and the ‘bumbling type that’s loved by kids’ and he’s a clever character, if you like the cheating of death story-you’ll love ‘One for the Angels’. And even if it ends a bit sad-it’s a happy kind of sad, a sad where you know that this is the good happy ending even if it’s a little bitter.

2. The Hunt.

An Old man and his Hound explore the trail to the afterlife. This one speaks to my backwoods southern heart-because there are dudes who are just that passionate and affectionate about their hounds. It also does the whole thing where the path to hell looks just as pretty as the one that lead to heaven. It feels like it’d be the kind of bluegrass song I’d hear about a guy narrowly missing ending up in Hell because he doesn’t want to be apart from his beloved dog.

HONORABLE MENTION: The Last Rites of Jeff Myrtle

A Young man dies....and comes back to life? Again another southern themed episode that speaks to me, mainly because Wake Culture is a thing where you have to sit up with the body to make sure they’re REALLY dead. Just the whole set up to the ending really just fools you. It’s the kind of story I feel like I would set up. I think I HAVE set up that kind of story with ‘The Diver Boy’ Comic

1. The Obsolete Man

Nothing I can say can compare to the perfection and the dark statement that The Obsolete Man makes. Nothing hits home that hard in that way. A horrible future where people get to decide what is obsolete and once it’s obsolete, it must go away forever.

#TSB Ask #The Twilight Zone #Long #Long Post #Twilight Zone #Episodes #Anonymous

[letterboxd]

Wigging Out.

Choreographer and director Jonathan Butterell tells Gemma Gracewood about stepping behind the camera for Everybody’s Talking About Jamie, his love for Sheffield, and making sure queer history is kept alive. Richard E. Grant weighs in on tolerance and Thatcher.

Of 2021’s many conundrums, one for musical lovers is why the narratively problematic Dear Evan Hansen gets a TIFF premiere and theatrical release this month, while the joyously awaited Everybody’s Talking About Jamie went straight to Amazon Prime.

And yet, as the show’s lyrics go, life keeps you guessing, along came a blessing. There’s something about the film streaming onto young people’s home screens, with its moments of fourth-wall breaking where Jamie speaks straight to the viewer, that feels so important, given the content: a gay teen whose drag-queen destiny sits at odds with the less ambitious expectations of his working-class town.

Director and choreographer Jonathan Butterell, who also helmed the stage production (itself inspired by Jenny Popplewell’s 2011 BBC documentary, Jamie: Drag Queen at 16) agrees that the worldwide Amazon release is a very good silver lining. “I made the film for the cinema but, in 250 territories across the world, this is going to have a reach that—don’t get me wrong, cinema, cinema, cinema, collective experience, collective experience, collective experience—but it will get to people that it might not have got to before.

Jonathan Butterell on set with star Max Harwood, as Jamie.

“It feels as niche a story as you could possibly be. But also for me, I wanted it to feel like a universal story, that it didn’t matter where on any spectrum you found yourself, you could understand a young person wanting to take their place in the world freely, openly and safely.”

Everybody’s Talking About Jamie, with screenplay and lyrics by Tom MacRae and songs by Dan Gillespie Sells, sits neatly among a series of very specific feel-good British films about the working class experience, such as Billy Elliot, Kinky Boots and Pride. The film adds some historical weight to the story with a new song, ‘This Was Me’, which allows Jamie’s mentor, Hugo (played by Richard E. Grant), to take us into England’s recent past—the dark days of the discriminatory Section 28 laws, at a time when the HIV/AIDS epidemic was still ravaging the community.

Hugo’s drag persona Loco Chanelle (played in the flashback by the stage musical’s original Jamie—John McCrea from Cruella and God’s Own Country), sports a wig that looks suspiciously like the Iron Lady’s unmistakable head of hair. Grant confirms that was Hugo’s intention. “His heyday was in the 1980s, so as a ‘fuck you’ to Mrs Thatcher, what better than to be dressed up like that, at six-foot-eight, with a wig that could bring down the Taj Mahal!”

Richard E. Grant as Hugo, getting to work on Jamie’s contours.

In light of the current pandemic, and the fact that the 1967 legalization of homosexuality in Britain is only “an historical blink away”, Grant’s hope is for more tolerance in the world. “Maybe Covid gives people some sense of what that was like, but with Covid there’s not the prejudice against you, whereas AIDS, for the most part in my understanding, was [seen as] a ‘gay disease’, and there were many people across the globe who thought that this was, you know, whatever god they believe in, was their way of punishing something that they thought was unacceptable.

“The message of this movie is of inclusivity, diversity, and more than ever, tolerance. My god, we could do with a dose of that right now.”

Read on for our Q&A with Jonathan Butterell about the filmic influences behind Everybody’s Talking About Jamie.

Hugo in a reverie, surrounded by his drag menagerie.

Can we talk about the new song, ‘This Was Me’, and the way you directed it in the film? It’s a show-stopper, with Richard E. Grant singing in that beautiful high register, and then moving into Holly Johnson’s singing, as you go back in time to show that deeply devastating and important history. Jonathan Butterell: It felt inevitable, the shift, and necessary. Myself, Dan Gillespie Sells, the composer, and Tom MacRae, the screenwriter, we created this piece together, the three of us, and it’s a film by the three of us. We lived through that time, we went on those marches. Actually, in one of those marches [shown in flashback], Dan’s mum—actual mum—is in a wheelchair, by a young boy who was holding a plaque saying “my mum’s a lesbian and I love her”.

That is Dan with his mum back in the day, and it all speaks to our stories and it moves me, I can see it’s moving you. It moves me because I lived through that time, and it was a complex time for a young person. It was a time that you felt you had to be empowered in order to fight, and you felt very vulnerable because of the need to fight. And because of that disease, because HIV was prevalent and we lost people—we lost close people—it was a difficult time. I wanted to make sure that that story kept being told and was passed on to the next generation.

It’s so important isn’t it, to walk into the future facing backwards? It still exists, that need to fight still exists. The conversation, yes, has moved on, has changed, but not for all people and not in all communities.

What would be your go-to movie musical song at a karaoke night? My goodness. There’d be so many.

I mean, is it going to be a Cabaret, a Chicago showstopper, or something more Mary Poppins, something from Rent? I think what I would go to, which is what I remember as a little boy, is Curly singing ‘Oh, What A Beautiful Mornin’. It’s such a kind of perfect, beautiful, simple song. That, and ‘The Lonely Goatherd’, because I just want to yodel. It would be epic. Trust me.

What is the best film featuring posing and why is it Paris Is Burning? It’s always Paris Is Burning. Back in the day, I was obsessed with Paris Is Burning, I was obsessed with that world. In fact, at one moment I even met [director] Jennie Livingston in trying to make a theater piece inspired by that. I lived in New York for eleven years and I met Willi Ninja. I just adored everything about him, and he would tell me stories. And again, it was so removed from the boy from Sheffield, I mean so far. That New York ballroom scene was so removed from my world, but I got it. Those two boys at the top of the film, I just wanted to be one of those boys who just hung out outside the club.

Harwood and Butterell on set, with Lauren Patel (right) as Jamie’s bestie Pritti Pasha.

What films did you and Tom and Dan look at to get a feeling for how to present the musical numbers? Actually, a lot of pop videos, from present day to past. There’s an homage, in the black-and-white sequences, to a little ‘Vogue’ Madonna moment. Pop is very central to me in this story because pop is what a working-class kid from a working-class community will be listening to. That’s in his phone, that’s in his ears. Not that many young people listen to much radio at this moment in time, but that’s what will be on Margaret’s radio, that’s what’s coming into the kitchen. And that was central to the storytelling for me.

Bob Fosse also really influenced me, and particularly All That Jazz and where his flights of imagination take him. I felt that was so appropriate for Jamie, and again in a very, very different way, but I could see how Jamie’s imagination could spark something so fantastical that would lead him to dance, lead him to walk on the most amazing catwalk, lead into being in the most fabulous, fabulous nightclub with the most amazing creatures you’ve ever met in your life.

For me personally, the film that most inspired me was Ken Loach’s Kes, because that is my community. Both the world in which Jamie exists—Parsons Cross council estate, is my world, is my community—and the world of that young boy, finding his place in the world with his kestrel friend, I remember identifying with that boy so clearly. He was very different from me, very different. But I got him, and I felt like Ken Loach got me through him.

Ken Loach made a few films set in Sheffield, didn’t he? But also, Sheffield is a setting and an influence on The Full Monty, The History Boys, Funny Cow and that brilliant Pulp documentary. So Jamie feels like a natural successor. It absolutely does. Sheffield’s where I grew up, it’s my hometown. Although I moved away from it, I always return. To have a chance to celebrate my community, and particularly that community in Parsons Cross council estate. If you’re in Sheffield and you’re in a taxi and you said, “Take me to Parsons Cross,” they’d say, “Well, I’ll drop you there, but I’m not staying.” Because again there’s a blinkered view of that community. And I know that community to be proud, glorious and beautiful.

And yes, that community, particularly through the ’80s, really suffered because some of that community would serve the steelworks and had three generations of unemployment, so they became disenfranchised because of that. But the community I grew up in, my Auntie Joan, who lived on that road, literally on that road, was a proud, working class, glorious woman who served chips at school.

Aside from Everybody’s Talking About Jamie, what would be the most important queer British cinematic story to you? (And how do you choose between My Beautiful Laundrette and God’s Own Country?!) You can’t. My Beautiful Laundrette influenced me so much because, one, Daniel Day Lewis was extraordinary in that film, and two, because of the cross-cultural aspect of it. I went, “I know this world”, because again I grew up in that world. And it affirmed something in me, which is the power and the radicalness of who I could be and what I could be.

With God’s Own Country, when I saw that film—and that was Francis’ first film, which I thought was extraordinary for a first-time filmmaker—I knew he knew that world from the inside, from the absolute inside. And I know what that rural community was like. I read that script, because we share agents, and I was blown away by it—again, because of the two cultures coming together.

Jamie Campbell, the film’s real-life inspiration, with screen-Jamie Max Harwood.

Richard E. Grant’s character, Hugo, is such a pivotal mentor for Jamie. What did you need to hear from a mentor when you were sixteen? Don’t let yourself hold yourself back, because I think it was me who put some limitations on myself. And of course I came from a working-class community. I was a queer kid in a tough British comprehensive school. And did I experience tough times? Yes I did. And did I deal with those tough times? Yes I did. But the song that speaks to me mostly in this is ‘Wall in my Head’, in which Jamie takes some responsibility for the continuation of those thoughts, continuations of the sorts of shame, and that’s a sophisticated thing for a sixteen-year-old boy to tackle.

I also was lucky enough to have a mother like Margaret—and a dad like Margaret as well, just to be clear! And I remember my mum, at seventeen when I left home, just leaving a little note on my bed. It was quite a long letter. She said, Jonathan, you’ve probably chosen to walk a rocky path, but don’t stray from it, don’t steer away from it. That’s the path you've chosen, there may be rock-throwers along the way, but you’ll find your way through it. That stayed with me and I think that’s what resonates with me. And when I saw that documentary, Jamie: Drag Queen at 16, I felt that that sparked the need for me to tell that story.

Sarah Lancashire as Jamie’s mum, Margaret New.

We need more mums and dads like Margaret, don’t we? We do, we do. And the wonderful thing is, Margaret Campbell will say it and I think Margaret New in the film will say it: she’s not a Saint, she’s an ordinary mum. And she has to play catch up and she doesn’t understand in many ways, and she gets things wrong and she overprotects. But she comes from one place and that is a mum’s love of her child and wanting them to take their place safely in the world and to be fully and totally themselves.

Related content

Eternal Alien’s list of films Made in Sheffield

Letterboxd’s Camp Showdown

Persephon’s list of films recommended by drag queens

Passion’s list of films mentioned by Jaymes Mansfield in her Drag Herstory YouTube series

Follow Gemma on Letterboxd

‘Everybody’s Talking About Jamie’ is streaming now on Amazon Prime Video.

#everybody's talking about jamie #max harwood #john mccrae #richard e. grant #sharon horgan #jonathan butterell #musicals #drag queen #queer film #lgbtqia cinema #british cinema

[evertriedsoywithyourpopcorn]

5 Reasons Roman Is Infuriating (And Why I DO NOT have a crush on him)

Chapter 5: To A Land Of Our Imagination

Read on AO3 

Chapter 1

Word count: 3471

Tw: Wounds, food, swearing

~~~

Logan planned the second date two days after the first. A picnic in the imagination, that Roman insisted on helping out with.

It took them quite a while to prepare everything. A red gingham print blanket in a field of many flowers on a hill, the sight of a rather giant disney-inspired castle in the far distance, mountains enveloping the horizons; very picturesque, certainly. He even offered to set up an orchestra off the side for them, but Logan declined. Logan was worried that they would get sunburnt due to the realistic touch that he brings, but Roman insisted that wouldn’t happen. And then Logan insisted that he didn’t know that it wouldn’t.

The banter was probably what took the longest time. It started with the back and forth about the likelihood of a sunburn, and then whether Thomas would typically tan or burn, and then it spiralled into nothingness. Obviously Roman made zero sense, but Logan was still determined to prove his point.

“No, Thomas should not get a surgical beauty mark. It’s pointless and expensive when you could have the same results with the smallest amounts of makeup.”

“But it adds character! All of the glamor girls have beauty marks! And besides, why put in the effort of putting on the beauty mark every day when you can just wake up that way?” Roman rebuttals, and Logan cannot begin to express just how stupid that argument is.

“A few seconds of a makeup pencil and maybe some powder isn’t that much effort. What would be an effort is spending a ridiculous sum of money on something he might regret and want gone. It would be a waste of resources for something thought of on a whim. That money would also go into the beauty industry, the industry that profits off of one’s self-hatred.” He argues, because yes, in a world where hating oneself is so common and so profitable, the most rebellious thing one can do is to learn to love themself.

“Makeup is also a part of the beauty industry.”

“It’s nowhere near as harmful and expensive though. It’s not just about insecurities, but also accentuating features that you enjoy in yourself. It also happens to be an art form, so I’m surprised that you’d even try that useless fact.”

Roman huffs. He’s probably not that interested in the beauty mark, but sometimes impulse can make you do stupid things. He does however look upset, and Logan hesitates.

“You know what you can do with makeup?” Logan asks, and they look at each other.

“What?” He asks, still pouting.

“Make many beauty marks. And change their locations when you feel like it.” He offers, and Roman lights up like that very dangerous chemical reaction Remus and himself attempted on bonding day.

“By the fourth musketeer, you’re right!” Roman touches his own face, lost in thought. “You could switch it up daily!”

It took a while longer for him to acknowledge what they were supposed to be doing, and then they were touching up the flowers (which is when Logan notices Bells of Ireland, sticking out amongst the other flowers, and assisting in integrating them into the green fields, like the flowers just popped up amongst nature. He believes Roman had summoned them around for him, and he can’t help but smile.) and then heading to the exit so Logan could get the ‘object of his affections’.

“Are you going to be in the imagination?” Logan asks him.

“Well, duh. I’ll obviously be out of earshot, but duty calls, and I have quests to attend to! Can’t have a realm without it’s heroes, right?”

“I guess not.” Logan nods. Roman’s going to play immersive make-belief then. Very well. That does usually help with Thomas’s motivation. Logan thinks of asking to join him sometime, and then decides that would most likely end horribly. Maybe Dungeons & Dragons would be a better solution.

He leaves Roman at the doorway, going to retrieve Patton. It isn’t very hard; he finds him in the living room holding a picnic basket and smiling brightly.

“That really, isn’t necessary.” He points to the basket. “We have food at the location.”

“What’s a little more? Besides, I have a little surprise to help with the planning.” He leans in and fake whispers.

Logan blinks. “A planner?”

“No, even better. But don’t guess. You know your old Patton-ership Person can’t keep a secret for very long.”

Logan groans at the pun, and they head back through Roman’s door to the imagination. It isn’t long before they reach the flowery hills (Logan wanted it to be accessible, to avoid an awkwardly long walk), and he sits down on the large blanket. Patton coos at the view, and the enchanting flower fields.

“Is Roman here?” He asks, looking around. He sets the basket down.

“He said he wouldn’t be nearby, and I trust his word, but he is in the imagination.”

Patton lets out a sigh in relief and sits down. “Okay. I just know he’d be mad if he found out, buuut…” He opens the petite basket’s lid, and like the objects from Mary Poppins bag sprouts Janus, arms held out dramatically.

“What is up losers? I’m here to foil all of your plans.” He lightly steps out of the basket, and plops down so they’re all facing each other in a triangle. “By making them better. You’ll thank me later.”

Although Logan is surprised, he isn’t really bothered. He’s quite similar to Roman in the theatrics, so perhaps he’ll prove to add ideas that would give life and a charming flair to his own.

“Very well.” Logan pulls out a notepad from god-knows-where. “Welcome to the ‘date’.” He does quotation marks with his fingers, and Patton leans excitedly to Janus.

“I think that’s what we’re calling it now. ‘Date’, but you have to do the thing with your fingers.” He does the finger quotations.

“What a lame concept. I love it.” Janus smiles. “I’m absolutely dreading spectating this ‘date’.” He does the finger quotations, and adds a little more emphasis on the word. At least he seems to be having fun.

“So. First step: The goal.”

“Find out if Roman really does have legs.” Janus answers at the same time Patton exclaims “Marry a pretty prince!”

“That was not supposed to be a guessable statement. And both of you are wrong. Patton, we do not have legal documents and cannot legally marry. The goal is to ‘woo’ Roman.”

“There may be or may not be a very easy solution for this.” Janus suggests, lounging back and checking his nails despite his gloves.

“What would be that solution?” Logan narrows his eyes at him.

“Oh I don’t know… Tell him how you feel.” He looks at him face-on, dead-serious.

“But… He most likely does not feel the same way. Besides, he wouldn’t like something so… Insignificant. He’s embodied himself after a prince, for Newton’s sake.” Logan argues, heart clutching painfully (metaphorically, obviously. If someone’s heart clutches painfully in real life, he recommends they go to a doctor and get it checked), and looking off into the distance, calculating the odds of rejection. He so far has not detected any signs or repercussions in the romance, and with Roman’s celebrity crushes being people like Adam Driver and Orville Peck, how is he supposed to compare? He can make a schedule planner less important than a social engagement.

“Oh come on, cheer up champ! I’m sure he’ll love it no matter what you do!” Patton encourages, giving him thumbs up. Logan looks at him, unimpressed.

“But will he really? These… Unnecessary feelings have rendered me even less functioning around him, so psychologically speaking, I’ve been even less perfect around him. He lives off the idea of a perfect, film-like life. Disney prince… Disney Relationship, Disney prince partner. Why would he like me? I look like a teacher.” As Logan continues his rant, now up and pacing, Janus shoots Patton a knowing look, and Patton eventually looks at him with an unknowing look.

“What?” Patton asks quietly, as Logan rambles.

“You don’t know?” Janus looks surprised.

“Know what?”

“Roman hasn’t told you about… You know…”

Patton looks at him, attempting to decipher what he means. Eventually, he quizzically does a limp wrist.

“No!” Janus whisper-shouts, exasperated. “Of course he’s gay. I’m talking about something else.”

“I’m lost.” He admits.

Janus leans in and whispers into his ear.

“Oh yeah! He has.” Patton gives him a thumbs up.

“I need a new style!” Logan turns and points at them, and they both display their shock easily.

“Dear god no. You’d look more out of place than Remus during the cosplay phase.” Janus jerks back, appalled. (Besting Remus in being out of place while he was in Thomas’s cosplay phase is nothing to roll your eyes at. Stripper Kermit is only one of many horrendous ideas that Janus has had the pleasure of being scarred by.)

“But think about it. You often see someone in a new light when they go through a big style change, whether they’ve changed as a person or not. When we altered our outfits for the first time, it was like a fresh new start. We were new, and more impressive models of our past selves of just three seconds before.”

“I see your point kiddo, but that just isn’t you! It’ll work against you in the long run if you try to be someone that you’re not.”

“Agreed. Seriously. Not to mention you’d be boring no matter what you wear; might as well be more comfortable doing it.”

Logan considers it. He nods, and sits down. “Alright. Thank you for your encouragement. I’m still not going to tell him outright.”

Patton raises his hand. “I have an idea.”

“Alright, hit us.” Janus looks at him.

“If you are to hit us, do it gently please. And preferably on the arm. I quite like these glasses.” Logan nods, accepting his fate.

“It’s an expression.” Janus side-eyes him, and gestures for Patton to start.

“How about… We leave the idea of telling him directly as an option, but also make a plan? That way, you have many options to pick from!” He encourages, looking like a parent bargaining with their toddler.

“That wouldn't be unreasonable.” Logan takes out a pen, and clicks it on. “Now, why don’t we start?”

By the time they leave the imagination, Logan has notes full of ideas. It’s a little bit difficult to have the best brainstorms without a literal embodiment of creativity, but both of them are bad ideas to invite for different reasons, and not being in charge of creativity doesn’t stop the rest of them from coming up with creative thoughts. (If that were the case, the same concept could be applied to himself, and it would have probably killed him by now if he were the only one with an ounce of logic.)

He steps into Roman’s room. Nice as always, if not looking slightly blank. Maybe he’s just used to the disorder now.

He rips out a separate paper, and leaves it on Roman’s cluttered desk, to notify him in the future that he is no longer in his realm. He catches a glimpse of other papers on his desk, and is that-

“Poetry?” Obviously, Logan does not want to disrespect his privacy, but he does read the line he has seen. It was quite good. It seemed to be about jealousy, but he’s not the best at deciphering emotions, so he isn’t completely sure. He also catches a few typos.

He stands straight again, paces a little bit and just as he's about to sink out, he hears the imagination door open.

Roman stumbles in, heaving and drenched in sweat. He looks dull and lifeless, until he looks at Logan. It’s like a switch goes off, and he looks like his usual self again.

“Heading out?”

“That’s right. The date just ended.”

“That’s wonderful! How did it go?” He asks, strutting over, trying hard but failing to hide a limp.

“Are you alright?” Logan looks at him, and the standard first aid courses that Thomas has taken in his lifetime start kicking in.

"I'm-" And a poorly concealed wince. "Okay. Just a scrape from the dragon witch. Nothing a happy pappy prince can't handle."

"That's not something you usually say." Logan squints at him, taking a step closer. "Did you hit your head? You're starting to sound like Patton. I'm not leaving here until you let me help you."

"Ugh, fine." He flails out his arms, and then jerks them back in pain. "But seriously, how did it go?"

"It went well. Thank you for the Irish bells. We discussed things that one would do in a romantic setting, and then we dispersed. There will be another date fairly soon. I just stayed to drop off a note on your desk to inform you of our departure."

His eyes go wide. "My desk? Did you read any of my writing?" He asks, sounding panicked, with a hint of defensive nature.

"I did, actually. Not on purpose, I'm sorry. It was a poem that I believe is about jealousy. I read the third paragraph. It was quite well done." Logan bashfully admits.

"Oh. Thank you." He offers a small smile.

Logan suddenly remembers the wounds. "Now. Let's get to fixing you up. Do you have any cuts? Scrapes? Open wounds?" As he sits Roman down and checks over his injuries, he can't help but hurt a little bit on the inside. Roman's self preservation seems to have left him a long time ago, and he always gets reckless. He can't seem to let anyone see his weakness, and that's perhaps what he and Logan have most in common; although, Logan hasn't been injured physically in quite a while.

He finds a first aid kit (in Roman's nightstand. How concerning.) and helps patch up his wounds. Thankfully, Roman wasn't fully lying, as his injuries mainly consisted of bruises and mild cuts, but Logan made sure to take care of them all the same.

"I just realized." Roman whispers, eyes closed as Logan puts a band-aid on his arm.

"That's a new concept."

Roman ignores that. "You've done so much for me over the last while. To be fair, you always do things for me, but this week... Teaching me how to bake, leaving out cookies for me, which were heavenly by the way, thank you, helping with nail polish even though it was on your bed, this... It's quite a lot. I feel like I haven't done enough for you."

"Oh come on, don't metaphorically sell yourself short. This whole time, you've helped me set up my dates with Patton. Many of them, in fact. I had been nervous to tell him, and you helped me the whole way along. I am quite grateful for your contributions, Roman." Logan chuckles a little bit, because although expressing your gratitude for something that you don't care about may seem pointless, Roman still put in all of the effort. He did the planning, the setup and design, and wherever he was needed, he'd be. Logan had heard that he even managed to convince Remus to keep the funky business away from the 'dates'. That's quite a lot of work, and Logan appreciates every second of it.

"Nooo but that isn't enough! I want to take you somewhere special to thank you."

"Really Roman, that isn't necessary-"

"Thomas!" Roman screams into his ceiling. "You know how you're free in three weekends!? Yeah, well you're going to a planetarium now! Bring friends so you don't look like a loser." And sure enough, he can feel that Thomas has got the idea.

Logan's heart metaphorically explodes out of his chest with how strong it's beating. Thomas hasn't been to a planetarium in ages. It isn't really Logan's role to suggest activities on the fun side, so he's kept to himself, silently hoping for another side to bring it up. They have spare money for it. And here it is. In three weeks from now.

"That's... I don't know what to say. Thank you." He clutches the first aid kit to his chest.

"Well duh thank me, but it's okay. It's payback." Roman gives him two band-aid speckled thumbs up. "Consider it a date."

Uh-

Hm. Well, there goes Logan. On the floor. Dead.

~~~

"More sophisticated and logical word for fuck."

Logan slams open Virgil's door, just as he's putting the last details on his embroidered spider web jacket.

"Dude, what?" Vrigil turns to him, only to see Logan laying on the floor, malfunctioning.

He goes over to the lifeless form. “Logan… You, like, never come to me with your emotional problems. I can’t help people. Do you want me to tease you? Because I can totally tease you.” He pokes him, and Logan rolls over to face the ceiling.

“It’s because I never have emotional problems, Virgil. I believe in you to keep a secret however.”

“Is this about the planetarium Thomas just planned? Because I can totally see why he shouldn’t go, with all those people around, judging his every step, and the chance of being separated from his friends, or seeing someone familiar and it’s just awkward..”

“No, I agreed to the idea. I had wanted to go for quite a while.”

“Does it… Have to do with Roman?”

“Of course it has to do with Roman. Even now, he is still the largest thorn in my side.”

“Apparently you’re a masochist then. So, what’s up with him and the planetarium?” Virgil circles him, seeming bored but willing to hear the story.

“He was the one who suggested it. In fact he said to  ‘a date’.”

“Ahh. So you are here for emotional issues.”

“It’s not an emotional issue. I simply wanted to tell you that I think it is an optimal time to tell Roman about my newfound fondness for him.” He sits up, and Virgil gives him a hand to stand.

Virgil chuckles. “It’s not bad to ask for help, Logan. But that does sound like a good idea, or whatever.”

“Of course it’s a good idea.” Logan says, hand bouncing up and down at a rapid pace. He looks like he’s sweating. Virgil squints.

“But you’re nervous.” He observes. “And you want to talk about it with someone.” He holds up a hand before Logan can protest. “Ah-ah. Don’t lie to me on this one. Sit down.” He takes out a chair, and then looks at Logan. “You know what, maybe not in my room.”

So they go to Logan’s room, and he explains his plans, and some worries, and Virgil nods along and agrees.

“By the way, have you been seeing the way Roman’s been acting lately?” After Logan seems to have finished with ideas, and they were just sitting together, Virgil speaks up.

“No? Perhaps. He did want to make cookies, which is odd for him, and he called me kiddo, if I remember correctly.” Logan recounts the last few days. He’s not completely sure. Roman has always been a slight enigma to him.

“See, that’s what I’m talking about. A few days ago, he came into the living room, and he was wearing a polo! If it weren’t for the colors, I would’ve thought he was Patton. And then.” Virgil stares at Logan, who looks impassively back at him. “Just yesterday, Remus told me that he dumped some of his posters into the trash.”

“Ah, perhaps he’s finally taking advantage of his wall space.” Logan says quite proudly, in a room where there are many cork boards on every left-over piece of wall he has open.

“No, you don’t get it. When’s the last time you’ve seen his room without posters?”

“To be honest, I don’t remember.” Logan admits. Virgil nods along, his eyes staring at him intensely. “Because I barely ever go into his room.” Virgil slumps. “Listen, Virgil, the concern is appreciated, and I support you continuing to collect evidence on this matter, however, it sounds like he’s trying something new out. I have no reason yet to be concerned.”

“Okay, whatever.” He gets up from his chair. “I hope you feel better, nerd. Catch you later.” He salutes, and just sinks out.

Logan continues to stare at where Virgil once was, thoughts jittering. Is Roman really acting that strange? He almost sounds like he’s trying to become Patton. Maybe he’s looking to renew his look for Thomas? He had been rather heart-broken when he misinterpreted Thomas calling him his hero. He also likes costume changes. Maybe he’s preparing something.

Logan hopes that Roman will be alright in the end. And that he himself will be as well. He takes a deep breath. He can do this.

~~~

Taglist: @crossiantgay 

#logince #logan sanders #roman sanders #ts roman #ts logan #sanders sides #whoops i forgot to add the read more #5 Reasons fic #virgil sanders #janus sanders #patton sanders #logince fic #tw food #tw injuries #oliver writes

[the-rewatch-rewind]

New episode! Script below the break

Hello and welcome back to the Rewatch Rewind! My name is Jane, and this is the podcast where I count down my top 40 most-watched movies in 20 years. Today I will be talking about #38: MGM’s 2001 comedy Legally Blonde, directed by Robert Luketic, written by Karen McCullah and Kirsten Smith based on a novel by Amanda Brown, and starring Reese Witherspoon, Luke Wilson, and Selma Blair.

Legally Blonde is the story of Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon), who thinks her boyfriend Warner (Matthew Davis) is about to propose, but instead he dumps her because he thinks she’s too frivolous for him. So to prove him wrong, Elle gets into Harvard Law School, which is where Warner is headed, but when she arrives she finds that he has already gotten engaged to another law student, Vivian (Selma Blair), who fits into the law school scene much better than Elle does, at least at first. After many setbacks, Elle starts to realize that she’s actually more interested in becoming a lawyer than winning back her boyfriend.

I still vividly remember the first time I was made aware of this movie. I happened to walk into the room where my mom was watching it, and she was at the scene in the restaurant when Elle thinks Warner is about to propose, and I thought it looked like the worst movie ever, and I immediately left in disgust. At some point around then I also saw part of the trial scene as an example of how courtrooms are portrayed on screen, but I don’t think I put together that they were from the same movie. Once I actually gave Legally Blonde a chance and sat down and watched the whole thing, I absolutely loved it. The first time I watched it was in 2006, and I saw it five times in that year alone, and then three times in 2007. After that I calmed down a bit, and watched it once each in 2008, 2010, 2011, 2014, 2016, 2018, and 2020. So I’ve seen it 15 times, and over half of those were just in 2006 and 2007. I think it’s appropriate that my first impression of Legally Blonde turned out to be so inaccurate because that’s basically the theme of this movie: so many people misjudge and underestimate Elle, and she proves them all wrong in an extremely satisfying way, just as the movie turned out to be far more intriguing and powerful than it appeared from that one out of context scene. This was a good and important lesson for me to learn as a teenager, and I really do feel like this movie helped me become a less judgmental person overall.

Given my emphasis in the previous episodes on how much I love that Mary Poppins and Emperor’s New Groove don’t have romantic storylines, it may seem strange to immediately pivot to a romantic comedy, but Legally Blonde is no ordinary rom com – in fact, I’m not convinced it even is a rom com. Though the story begins romantically, with Elle focused on marrying Warner, as it progresses the romantic aspect becomes less and less important. Watching Elle realize that she doesn’t have to just be the trophy wife of a successful man, which was the only future she’d been able to see for herself before, is beautiful. And while there are some romantic elements to the rest of the story, the movie places just as much, if not more, emphasis on friendship than romance, something I personally would love to see more of.

From the very beginning, even when Elle thinks she’s getting engaged, we see her surrounded by her sorority sisters. And after the breakup, those same friends help her work on getting into law school. They don’t really understand her struggles once she’s there, but two of them do show up to her first trial, which I love both because they’re very funny and because it shows that you don’t have to fully understand a friend to support them. The first close relationship Elle forms after moving to Harvard is a friendship with manicurist Paulette, played by the fabulous Jennifer Coolidge. Granted, a significant part of their friendship involves dating advice, which I don’t love – I think my least favorite part of the movie is the whole “bend and snap” scene, it just never made sense to me – but there’s a lot more to it than that. Elle helps Paulette get her dog back from her ex, and Paulette helps Elle gain confidence in her new role as a law student. This relationship helps Elle through the toughest part of law school when all the other students disdain her, although eventually she befriends some of them. It’s awesome to watch Vivian and Elle go from rivals to friends as they both realize that Warner isn’t good enough for either of them. Elle also befriends David Kidney (Oz Perkins) – again initially by helping him get a date, but their friendship soon progresses beyond that. Also fun fact that I just relatively recently learned – Oz Perkins is the son of Anthony Perkins, as in, the Anthony Perkins who played Norman Bates in Psycho.

And speaking of movie stars from the 1960s, Raquel Welch makes an appearance in Legally Blonde, as Mrs. Windham Vandermark, the first wife of the murder victim in the trial that is the main focus of the second half of the movie. One of Elle’s professors, Callahan (played by Victor Garber), is defending the victim’s second wife, who is accused of the murder, and Elle is one of the interns helping with the case. The team sends Elle to interview the first wife when they find out she’s at a spa because they assume she and Elle will get along, but they very much do not, which is another example of characters misjudging and misunderstanding her. Elle does, however, get along very well with the defendant, Brooke Taylor Windham (Ali Larter), who was in the same sorority as Elle, though not at the same time. Most of the legal team seems to think Brooke is probably guilty, but Elle knows she’s not, using the flawless logic that since Brooke is a prominent fitness instructor, and therefore exercises a lot, as I quoted at the end of last episode, “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands. They just don’t.” The rest of the team doesn’t exactly buy this, but Elle’s belief in her leads Brooke to trust Elle more than she trusts anyone else, and that, in addition to Elle remaining true to herself despite being encouraged not to, is what allows them to win the case.

So far I’ve neglected to mention Emmett (Luke Wilson), the lawyer who supports and believes in Elle, and apparently starts dating her after the trial. I personally don’t love that they end up together, I feel like it kind of undermines the message that she doesn’t need romance to be fulfilled, although it is pretty clear that this relationship is just icing on the cake rather than her whole reason for being, in contrast to her relationship with Warner. Elle and Emmett do have some cute scenes together, but we don’t really see them interact in a way that indicates they’re anything other than friends. The movie never really feels like it’s about their romance, which makes sense because originally they weren’t even meant to officially end up together.

The film was going to end with Elle walking out of the courtroom after winning the case. The scene of her dumping Warner plus the whole epilogue with her graduation speech and the words on screen explaining what happened to everyone were added because test audiences thought the story felt unfinished. While it is extremely satisfying to watch her telling off Warner and to know for sure that she excelled in her remaining two years of law school, it’s a little frustrating to know that in the original version I would have been able to cling to my headcanon that Elle and Emmett were friends. From a storytelling perspective, I appreciate the symmetry of beginning with Elle thinking she’s about to get engaged and ending with her actually about to get engaged, but from an aroace perspective, I’m irritated that marriage has to be part of the happy ending even in this otherwise romance-light film. I’m happy for Elle that she found someone who loves her for who she is, but I don’t like the implication that every close, supportive relationship between a man and a woman must necessarily be romantic and sexual. It also bothers me that the ending tells us that Warner has no girlfriend as if singleness is the worst possible fate, although that may be an unfair interpretation. We’ve seen that he doesn’t really treat women as people, so it’s probably good that he doesn’t have a girlfriend, and it also says that he graduated with no honors and no job offers in addition to no girlfriend, so it’s not like singleness is his only punishment. I just don’t like how often singleness is treated as the just deserts of the villain, as if being single is inherently miserable. But the ending doesn’t say anything about Vivian having a new boyfriend, just that she dumped Warner and is now friends with Elle, so it’s not quite as straightforward as the heroes get romance and the villains are single, which I appreciate.

Even with this ending, Legally Blonde is very clearly a movie about identity and friendship and integrity that also includes some romance, not a romantic film. So it’s very interesting to me that it is often categorized as a romantic comedy. It’s almost like the fact that it’s pink and has a female protagonist and was written by women leads people to assume it must be a “chick flick”, and obviously all chick flicks are rom coms because all women want is a fluffy story about a woman falling in love with a man, right? I want to make it clear that I’m not disparaging rom coms or the people who enjoy them; what I’m criticizing here is the all-too-common practice of shoving rom coms along with any other movie marketed toward women into the same inferior category. The funny thing is, by seeing these movies this way, people are making the exact same mistake Warner makes at the beginning of Legally Blonde (and admittedly the same one I made before I’d watched the whole thing) of equating femininity – or at least, a certain type of femininity – with frivolity. But just as Warner turned out to be the loser when he dumped Elle, people who dismiss this movie are missing out. It is delightful and powerful, and Reese Witherspoon’s performance in particular is fabulous. Her comedic timing and sensibilities are flawless. And the feeling of watching her in the courtroom after Elle takes over the case, start off floundering and unsure of herself, and then seeing that lightbulb go off when she figures it out, is so elating. A big part of what makes that moment so satisfying is how realistically and sympathetically Elle has been portrayed throughout the movie. It would have been easy to make a character like this too over-the-top and ridiculous, but the writing and acting keep her grounded and real while also portraying her as quirky and unique, and the movie is worth watching for that alone.

However, I must say that certain aspects of Legally Blonde have not aged particularly well. For example, it bothers me more and more that, with Brooke’s alibi that she doesn’t want to reveal, they get so close to addressing the harm of placing impossible body standards on women, but don’t quite go there, portraying Emmett as unreasonable for pointing out that she made her fortune by telling women that they’re too fat. The movie also has a few gay characters, but the representation leaves much to be desired, as one might expect from a film made in the early 2000s. They’re basically reduced to stereotypes, and the public outing of a gay man against his will, based on his knowledge of shoe designers, is played for laughs – although, while outing someone is horrible, I would argue that lying about sleeping with someone to get them wrongfully convicted of murder is worse, so…it’s complicated. But, like forcing the happily ever after to include romance after emphasizing that romance is not the most important thing, the movie again undermines its own message here. It’s odd that it puts gay people into stereotypical boxes when the whole story is about how people are so much more than the way society sees them. As a queer teen who didn’t know I was queer, just that I was somehow different from most of my peers, it was incredibly satisfying to watch Elle learn that she didn’t have to fit into a pre-existing mold and could just be herself. But in some ways now it kind of feels to me like it’s saying, “Be yourself and don’t care what other people think of you – as long as you end up in a heterosexual relationship” and I don’t love that. So that’s probably part of why I don’t watch it as much anymore. But I don’t mean to imply that these problems completely ruin the movie; it still has a lot of great moments, and I would still recommend it. I should also mention that I’ve never read the book this movie is based on or watched the sequel, and I’ve also never seen or listened to the musical adaptation, so it’s possible that some of these issues might be at least somewhat rectified in one or more of those versions.

Overall, despite its flaws, this is a movie that encourages people to embrace the parts of their identity and personality that others dismiss, and that was a message I desperately needed to hear as a teenager. There are certainly other movies that portray this even better, but Legally Blonde happens to be one that I latched onto, probably at least partly because I had such low expectations and was then pleasantly surprised.

Thank you for listening to me discuss another of my most-rewatched movies! Remember to rate and leave a review if you want, and subscribe or follow to hear more. Next up is another movie I watched 15 times while keeping track that is only two minutes longer than this one, although unlike Legally Blonde I had seen it multiple times before 2003. As always I will leave you with a quote from that next movie: “Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”

#rewatch rewind #legally blonde #spoiler alert

[melancholydreadfuldream]

tell me some things last

Pairing:  13th Doctor x Reader

Summary: There are always someone who dare to use the Doctor's companion against him/her, most of the times the Doctor is able to rescue them but we know better, don't we? The Doctor can't save everyone.

   (yn) (ln) traveled with Twelfth Doctor and Clara Oswald in the tardis after a chance meeting that involved another alien. Clara welcomed you with open arms, claiming the two of you will be a great friend.

  You were not as close with the Doctor as Clara is. You understand they have a longer time together. You love travelling with him despite him being kind of intimidating. Clara is the only one who can seem to manage him. You were shy around the Doctor, often not knowing what to say when you two are alone. You can tell the both of you are relieved whenever Clara is on the room as she never fails to lighten up the room.

  The topic regeneration come up when the Doctor and Clara accidentally mentioned his previous incarnation and his perchant for fish finger and custard. With the Doctor's  permission, Clara told you bit about regeneration. She even showed you a picture of Eleventh Doctor. You could hardly believe they are the same person.

  Clara is reminiscing about her past adventure with Eleventh Doctor. You thought that version of the Doctor sounded like a fun person but you accidentaly spoke that thought out loud.

  The Doctor is offended and exclaimed he is fun too, proceed to show off how fun he is much to Clara and your amusement. Three of you have fun together. You dare say that you and the Doctor grew closer just a tiny bit than before.

  And then things went downhill when Clara died on trap street. He is gone leaving you to deal with Clara's body.

  The Doctor is gone. You don't know what happened to him. You couldn't begin to even ask someone for help. You waited for him but he never come back. You fell into depression as you couldn't handle the loss of Clara and the Doctor. You meet a kind nurse named grace who help you deal with your depression.

  You missed Clara and the Doctor so much. You wish he would come back for you. Of course, he didn't. He didn't owe you anything, so, why would he come back for you?

  Grace thought you were experiencing a broken heart, that a lover has left you behind. You couldn't exactly tell her it was an alien that broke your heart and not even a lover. You would feel silly. But also you are grieving the loss of a very good friend.

  A year later, you accidentally stumbled upon incident that is alien in nature and that is when you met Bill and Nardole. You overheard them mentioned the doctor and demanded to see him.

  You finally see him again. You were at loss of words. He was surprised to see you but he smiled kindly. You slapped him hard without thinking.

  "Okay. I deserve that." He begrudgingly said as he rubbed his cheek.

 "I'm glad you think so." You coldly replied.

  The Doctor glanced at your state and his eyes softened considerably. "How have you..."

  You throw your arms around him as you pulled him into a hug much to his surprise and protest. You discreetly smelled him, you missed him so badly, you were so grateful to be able to find him again.

  The Doctor introduced you to Nardole and Bill and invited you back on board of the tardis.

  You were hesitant, a year ago, you would agree in a heartbeat. But were you ready to jump back into the disarray life that is the Doctor?

  Bill is very friendly and she start animatedly chatted with you, wanting to know more about your past with the Doctor once she figured out that you were his past companion.

  From Bill, you found out that the Doctor is a teacher in the university where she worked at. You were surprised and very curious, wanting to know how he handle being a teacher for a bunch of students. Bill, laughingly, told you the Doctor's teaching method is weird.

  At the end of the day, you decided you wanted to stay with him again if he will have you. And it helped that Bill latched herself on you almost immediately. But Nardole seemed not too keen of having you around but Bill said not to mind him.

  The Doctor and Nardole are guarding a mysterious vault. Although curious, you know better than to pry or asking the Doctor directly. You believed you haven't yet earned his trust.

  Eventually, you meet the sarcastic, mary poppin-style Time Lady who, according the doctor, is currently undergoing a rehabilitation.

  You don't like Missy for her sharp tongue and she seemed to look down upon you, Bill and Nardole.

  The Doctor wanted to have a test run with Missy having to answer a distress call and solved the crisis with the help of Bill and Nardole. You opted to stay behind with the Doctor and you were lucky you did so.

  When Bill got shot by some random blue alien and then later converted into the cyberman, you were traumatized by the whole thing. When the strange mechanical men come in to take Bill away, you volunteered to go with them so you could better watch over her much to the Doctor's dismay. You weren't sure where you get the courage to step forward from but you did it, albeit it is a very stupid move on your part.

  But those years with Bill, taking care of each other, gossiping about the Doctor's angry eyebrow from the supposedly live monitor, you couldn't regret it. Bill is your friend and you care about her. You dont want to lose her like you did Clara.

  When the old man, Razor, betrayed yours and Bill's trust by letting the doctors on that ship to operate on the both of you, you were in despair. You watched as they ripped you and Bill away from each other and you were made to watch as they operates on Bill.

  Her pleading voice and screams of pain forever seared in your mind. You never hated someone as much as you hated Razor and all the people in that stupid ship.

  You were about to undergoes the converting surgery when the Doctor and Nardole burst in and rescued you. You were hysterical when they finally freed you from the straps.

  You cried as you told them that Bill has been converted. The agonized look on the Doctor's face is too painful to watch. He hugged you, kissed your forehead as he soothed you. You were surprised by his sudden affectionate attitude but you were too distracted by what is being done to Bill and the fate you nearly shared.

  In the face of Bill's misery of having been turned as cyberman, you felt guilty. When the Master revealed himself as Razor and mocked you and Bill about it, you very nearly lost your marble as you wanted to attack the miserable bastard but the Doctor pulled you back and away from him.

  Everything spiralled out of control and next thing you know you woke up on the tardis floor with the Doctor yelling that he refused to regenerate.

  You and the Doctor were able to says goodbye to Bill, Nardole and Clara through the testimony project.

  The Doctor finally regenerated as you saw him glowing yellow and then exploded into a blonde woman. But before you could say anything, the tardis shook violently and ejected the Doctor out. You were lucky you weren't ejected as you were not sure you could survive the fall.

  The next few days, you worried sick about where the Doctor is. You couldn't talk to anyone but the tardis and frankly you felt silly talking to the box.

  You nearly got a heart attack though when tardis voice interface got activated at the word 'help' you uttered. It showed a hologram of Twelfth Doctor asking you what you need of help for.

  You felt grief suddenly at the sight of him. You knew the Doctor survived but he had changed into a new person now, a woman at that. You wondered if she would even still want you around now.

  When a woman you presumed to be the new Doctor dressed in a new clothing stepped in with three other people, you were so glad and a bit wary.

  The Doctor seemed happy to see you as she pulled you into her arms before introducing you to her new friends.

  That is when you found out about Grace, a kind nurse who used to help you with your depression. She met the Doctor and she died. You felt like you got slapped in the face as you are starting to worry that it will be a matter of time before it was your turn to die next if you continue to stay with the doctor. But your heart hurts at the thought of leaving the doctor behind. You were not ready to let her go. And so you cling to her for as long as you can.

  You were initially worry that the Doctor would ask you to leave as despite the ship is bigger on the inside, it might be a tad crowded with 5 people on board. And frankly you weren't sure you are ready for adventure so soon. You don't want to leave her or the tardis but you declined on some adventures with the fam, preferring to stay on the safety inside of the tardis.

  The Doctor is concerned but understanding and didn't pressure you.

  The fam are nice enough and love to chat with you, asking about your past with the Doctor. It hurts to talk about the past which included losing two best friends so you remained mostly vagues.

  Eventually, you started to go on adventures again but you were mostly wary believing trouble is a foot everytime you stepped out of the tardis and let face it, with the Doctor, the magnet for trouble, you should expect it.

  Maybe it was just your feeling but you felt the Doctor is a tad bit protective of you. And yet, she also keep her distant from you which make you anxious that your time with her might be over soon.

  At new years, when a dalek took control over Ryan's dad body, you refused to let him go as you fight to keep him safe along with Ryan. In your mind, at the times, you refused another loss.

  When everything is safe and sound, the Doctor is looking at you with a look you can't decipher.

  It hit you suddenly that you might have a strong feeling for the Doctor. You decided to take a short break away from the Doctor and tardis to sort out your feeling but you made her swear up and down that she will come back for you again when you are ready. She promised.

  Of course, when you finally returned to the tardis, you found out from the fam that they had meet an enemy of the Doctor, the Master. You felt like you were being kicked in the gut. You hated that person for his part with Bill's miserable fate and nearly yours. It was a different incarnation but still he already in your blacklist.

  You noticed the Doctor look gloomy, sad and just distant and you hated it. She seemed so far from you eventhough she is just a few steps away from you.

  You wanted to ask her what is going on with her but you dont think she would ever open up to you. But you still have to try, right? So you approached her and as you predicted, she shut you down.

  It kind of hurt that she still doesn't trust you but you tried not to take it personally. You tried to be good and less annoying for fear if you ask too much from her, she would turn you away for good.

  And then you and the fam meet Jack. Your heart nearly jumped at his warning of cyberman. The fam has yet to encounter cybermen but you did. The word alone enough to send you back to that flashback of being strapped down on the operating table as the doctors are ready to convert you.

  Jack and the fam look concerned at seeing your pale face and rapid shallow breathing.

  Yaz and Graham are able to calm you down when you finally told them about Bill.

  When you and the fam returned to the tardis, they delivered Jack's warning for the Doctor.

  You noticed the Doctor is staring at you at the mention of cyberman but she didn't say anything to you.

  The Doctor found you alone as you sort of barricated yourself inside a random room in hope to calm yourself down. She sat beside you without words. It was a somewhat comfortable silence despite at the beginning you felt like you have to say something to her but you found yourself speechless.

  You were glad she didn't ask you if you want to go home for in your moment of weakness you might say yes and you have feeling you will lose her for good if you did that. She would want to keep you safe and she might actually do that by leaving you behind on earth.

  It wasn't that long before Jack's warning of the lone cyberman coming true. It looked somewhat defective but still lethal and, of course, the shape of it alone is enough to make a mess of your mind.

  You have a panic attack again and the Doctor calmed you down with her soothing words and a gentle kiss on your forehead which reminded you a lot of her previous incarnation.

  Somehow you felt like you are having a moment with the Doctor and yet for some reason you cant quite grasp it. You just feel at lost.

  The Doctor left to deal with the lone cyberman and at the end of it all she has to surrender cyberium back to him. But, she planned to travel into the distant future to deal with Ashad and his armies.

  The fam eagerly wanted to help despite the danger. You felt like if you didnt follow through with  the rest, you were not good enough to be her companion. So, you forced yourself to overcome your fear.

  Of course, the moment you stepped out of the tardis, the dread filled every spore of your body and mind. You were paralyzed by it that you nearly collapsed.

  The Doctor has that look again on her face as she stared at you with sorrow. She told you to stay behind on the tardis and this time you didn't fight her on it. You recognized you are a liability currently.

  As you waited for the Doctor and the fam to return, you summoned the tardis voice interface again and tell it your fears. The hologram just stood there listening to your rants.

  You beginning to regret not going with the Doctor as hours passed by and no news from them. Your heart is clenched by the worry of losing the Doctor and the fam.

  "They will return soon. They have to be. This is the tardis. The Doctor always return here...eventually. They will be okay." You repeated that to yourself like a mantra.

  And you could finally be relieved of your stress when the door of the tardis opened up to reveal the Doctor. But, she was alone.

  Your face filled with pain as you thought of the worst. But, she quickly reassured you that Yaz, Ryan and Graham are okay. They were back on earth with another tardis. You were puzzled and asked her what has happened.

  The Doctor smiled brightly at you. It has been a while since last she smile so freely. She was about to explain when an alarm sounded loudly inside the tardis. Next thing you know, a bunch of Judoon were inside the ship and they were talking about how the Doctor is a fugitive to justice.

  Without thinking you stepped into the oncoming laser beam one of the Judoon shot the Doctor with. You and the Doctor materialized somewhere else, a prison in some galaxy. The Doctor is quick to catch you as you lost your balance as you are feeling disoriented.

  She reprimanded you for your reckless thinking. "That laser beam could have been anything. You could have died or worst splintered in pieces." She sounded angry.

  You didn't bother to defend yourself as you tried to compose yourself as you took on the new surrounding. "Where are we?"

  The Doctor is displeased for the change of topic but answered your question. She yelled at the ceiling, wanting to talk to whoever in charge of the prison.

  There is no answer.

  "At least we are together." You replied.

  She glared at you, making you flinch.

  For the next few hours, the Doctor is busy observing the prison she was in and sometimes yelling at the ceiling but she was ignored.

  When someone come in to give a tray of food for one person, the Doctor is quick to demand a meeting but that person ignored her too. She told you to eat the food for you both are going to here for a long while it seemed. You ate a little, leaving a generous amount for the Doctor.

  The Doctor is busy talking to herself and generally giving you a silent treatment much to your dismay.

  It was the next day someone come in and gave a prison suit for the Doctor to change into. The Doctor is quick to point at you, telling them they made a mistake in regard of you. The person seemed surprised to see you as the room supposedly a solitary prison made for one person and agreed to talk to their superior.

  It was another day before the door suddenly opened and two Judoon come in to read the Doctor's sentence. The Doctor interrupted them, wanting to negotiate your release.

  You were uneasy that she keep demanding your release and made no mention of defending herself.

  The Judoon glanced at you and nodded at each other before one of them stepped forward to grab your arm.

  The Doctor stepped in front of you demanding to know what action they will take in regard of you. She wanted to be sure that you would be return safe and sound back on earth or at least on her tardis.

  The Judoon pushed the Doctor away from its path and made a grab at you. 

  You were scared, not wanting to be apart from the Doctor. She warned you not to fight them so you followed the Judoon out of the room while the Doctor continued talking with the other one.

  That was the last you saw of the Doctor.

  7777

  You were pushed into a room and was left there for hours. It was a smaller room and looked like some interrogation room. You tried to talk to anyone you see there but they mostly ignored you. You paced back and forth as you bite your lips nervously.

  You can't keep track how long you were there but suddenly the door opened and entered an eye-patch lady with a twisted smile on her face. She wasn't alone. There is a military man with her and someone dressed like a doctor.

  "Hello, (yn) (ln)." The lady greeted you with a grin. "It has been a while."

  You were confused as you never see the lady before in your entire life. "How did you..."

  "...know your name? My dear, I made you." She answered with a creepy smile.

  You frowned in confusion.

  "You have done well in regard of the Doctor."

  You have a bad feeling toward this lady and the way she mentioned the Doctor with contempt made you realized she must be an enemy of the Doctor. You took a step back away from her.

  The lady nodded at the man dressed as a doctor and he walked toward you.

  You stared at him warily.

  "Ceres, would you like your treatment now?" he said gently at you.

  The reaction is immediate. All tension left your body as you mechanically answered, "Yes, please."

  The man gently pulled you to him.

  "I want to see everything she collected so far from her times with the Doctor." Madam Kovarian instructed the man.

  The man obeyed.

  The colonel glanced at you and then at Madam Kovarian. "What about the Doctor? She would have try to find out about her whereabout."

  The unforgiving, evil smirk on her face nearly tore her lips apart. "Fabricate something. Let's just say that little (yn) here is mistakenly executed after a case of misidentify. Leave a vague trail with the cover up for our dear Doctor to find. Let her suffer for the death of a friend." She said with disdain. "Get her someone to blame, a scapegoat. The oncoming storm would want revenge, let her get it."

  The colonel nodded his head and made the preparation needed.

  7777

  You blinked your eyes as awareness finally returned.

  A young man smiled down at you.

  "Did I fall asleep?"

  "For a little a while."

  "Can I go now?"

  "Go ahead."

  You nodded as you slowly left the room.

  "Oh, Ceres." The young man suddenly called out.

  You turned around to face him in a very serene manner.

  He smiled genuinely and said, "Welcome back."

  You smiled before leaving him without any care in the world. You greeted a few other people on your way out with a kind smile.

  As you left, Topher turned to the other occupants in the another room. Adelle and Madam Kovarian stepped into the room. Topher gave the intimidating lady what she wanted, a black box containing your memory and feeling, everything you see and heard as (yn) (ln).

  Madam Kovarian look pleased with herself. She has yet to determine whether the information she gathered on the Doctor will be useful but one thing she knew, she could use (yn) as a weapon against the Doctor for she knew the Doctor's weakness has always been his/her companion.

  "It is a pleasure doing business with you, Madam." Adelle replied with a smile but it was uneasy. She doesn't trust the woman but she seemed to have friends in high place for she was able to locate the dollhouse and even borrowed one of her active dolls for a long term of period. She tolerated her only because she donated a generous large amount of money for the corporation.

  "I might have the need to use that girl once again in the future." Madam Kovarian said.

  "Of course."

  7777

  After Jack broke her out of prison, the Doctor is filled with dread upon meeting the fam and realized you were gone. Before she could investigate on your disappearance, the fam has warned her of Daleks invasion on earth. Despite worrying about you, the Doctor had to focus on solving the current crisis.

  At the end of the day, against Jack's protest, the Doctor actually planned to break in back into the prison, wanting to find out the prison record on you. As Kovarian predicted, she did find the trail of a cover up for prisoner 1423588. She froze after she uncovered the details and the fact there is nothing left of you to find.

  Jack, Yaz, Ryan and Graham froze at the fury emanating from the Doctor. They couldn't even properly grief for their fallen friends as they scrambled around trying to calm the oncoming storm.

  She was frightening. Her friends are all afraid of her, save for Jack who understood the kind of loss she is feeling.

  Yaz has begged her not to leave her behind again. Ten month has been an agony to her. However, to Ryan, what happened to (yn) is the last push he needed to actually left behind the world of the Doctor and Tardis. Graham, not wanting to left Ryan alone, also left with him. But they are all worried for the Doctor.

  For their sake, the Doctor lies that she will be okay, that she understood that (yn) wouldn't want her to do anything reckless. She was heartbroken by yet another loss of friends.

  Jack also stayed with Yaz on board of the tardis. Unlike the others, Jack knew the Doctor lies, she always lies. After Yaz is asleep, he volunteered to help her in her quest for revenge so he could watch over her and maybe pull her back if she went too far.

  7777

  You were imprinted with the identity of someone called Adalind. You were supposed to attend a party in a hotel with your pretend fiance. But thing get out of control when alien crashed the party.

  The Doctor, Yaz and Jack were there to answer some distress signal from said alien.

  "(yn)?" The Doctor called out in almost awe. She felt like she was being punched in the gut when she saw you.

  "Sorry? I think you mistaken me with someone else." You replied in polite manner. You were different, you have different hair colors and eyes. You were dressed elegantly. You looked confident and comfortable with yourself.

  "(yn)..." The Doctor clutched your arm insistently.

  You forced a smile at her. "I'm sorry, I'm not (yn), my name is Adalind."

  "You...really are not (yn)?" Yaz asked hesitantly. She was shocked with your appearance.

  You shook your head as you pulled the Doctor's hand off you.

  The Doctor pulled her sonic screwdriver to scan you but to her surprise, the conclusion is inconsistent. A more thorough scan revealed that Adalind is definitely not (yn), different brainwave pattern and all. Her hearts broke at the result. But, of course, she should have known there is no way (yn) could be alive. But, she still suspect Adalind. Could she be an echo of (yn) like what happened to Clara? But the brainwave pattern...

  Jack and Yaz are quick to distract the Doctor with the distress signal they have come for in the first place and it worked, for the duration of the mystery, the Doctor is able to push the thought of Adalind out of her mind.

  Adalind and the rest of the guests were interrogated by the Doctor when someone suddenly dropped dead. 

  Yaz had talked to Adalind's fiance and she thought he was suspicious for his reluctant to talk about how she met Adalind. She told Jack about it and he agreed he seemed fishy.

  Jack had flirted with Adalind but was quickly stopped with a mean glare from the Doctor.

  After a series of events, the Doctor finally is able to solve the crisis and save most of everyone in the hotel included the alien in question. 

  The Doctor, Yaz and Jack had spoken with Adalind and they like you enough to warrant invitation onto the Tardis. Of course, the truth is, the Doctor is wanting to investigate more on Adalind's similarity with (yn).

  However, Adalind, despite your friendliness with them, has refused the offer 'opportunity of a lifetime' as you had deduced their ulterior motive regarding a certain (yn). Yaz had gave you her number in case you changed your mind.

  Adalind bid the three of them goodbye and left the hotel alone without the fiance.

  Unbeknownst to you, you were followed. You walked alone for a long while before a black van suddenly stopped near you. A man got out of the van. "Ceres, would you like your treatment now?"

  "Yes, please." You answered immediately and the man led you inside the van.

  The Doctor, Yaz and Jack is quick to use the Tardis to follow the van. Thankfully, Jack apparently has put a tracker on Adalind when he is flirting with her. The Doctor is impressed with him.

  7777

  Topher has just finished the usual procedures of erasing the Adalind imprint and returning you to default Ceres personality. Your caretaker has also informed him on the unexpected variable during your current engagement and he had called Adelle on it when he found elaborate tracker on your person.

  When Adelle is informed that the unknown variable has called you with the name (yn), she cursed. She would have to call on that unpleasant woman again regarding the imprint (yn) (ln).

  You were oblivious to the tension above as you serenely making an origami paper much like a child.

  Somewhere within the building, the tardis materialized inside as the Doctor and companion got out to inspect the surrounding curiously.

  The room screamed zen mood all over the place. There are people who were doing stuff like meditating, drawing, making flower arrangement, etc. But, they didn't seem concerned or alarmed at the appearance of the tardis or the three strangers.

  "What is this place?" Yaz asked out loud.

  Jack noticed on the railing above, a young woman dressed as a dominatrix walked to a room but not before winking at him. "I like it."

  The Doctor, however, laser-focused on locating you and she finally spotted you, seated on the floor in front of a small table, smiling as you made origami. She quickly approached you and called you Adalind but you weren't responsive to that name.

  You finally noticed the three strangers that are staring at you. The blonde woman looked sad as if someone shot her puppy so you offered her your finished origami.

  She smiled at you but you think her smile still sad. She asked your name as she bend her knees before you. 

  "I am Ceres." You replied.

  "Ceres..." She repeated.

  An alarm sounded loudly. A set of man and woman dressed in black suit immediately surrounded the room, pointing their gun on the strangers. The other caretakers herded the rest of the people inside the room to evacuate to another room.

  The Doctor noted these people are almost childlike, not showing any fear or anxiety at all, as they were led away from there. She had prevented you from leaving when you are about to make your move too like the rest of the dolls.

  Adelle stepped into the room and stared hard at the intruders.

  The Doctor pulled her psychic papers and as Adelle read into it, she groaned and instructed the guard to back off. 

  "They have VIP invitation from Rossum." Adelle said in annoyance. "I really wish they warned me before letting VIP guest into the building." She led the Doctor, Yaz and Jack into her office.

  The Doctor wanted you to stay with her but she has to find out more about this place from Adelle and it wouldn't do to alert them of her intention with you.

  7777

  Adelle offered the guests a bourbon for a drink but they refused. The blonde woman seemed to be in charge and is very eager to find out what the Dollhouse has to offer.

  The Doctor introduced herself and her companion.

  Adelle has revealed that she knew that they made use of a psychic paper, she was warned of it but she saw no harm in telling them about the Dollhouse. After all, in a short a while, they would no longer be her problem.

  "Who warned you of it?" The Doctor asked her but she only smiled.

  The Doctor and Yaz look horrified after her explanation of the purpose of the Dollhouse.

  "I know some people have reservation about our Actives. Robot. Slaves. Mosty, people think they are very good liars. They are, of course, the opposite." Adelle started her speech. "An Active is the truest soul among us."

  "The only way to imprint a human being with a new personality is to remove their own. Completely." The Doctor said in horror.

  "But they are not gone. We made a backup of all their original personality. The Actives here are under five-years contract with us. After five years, we will return them to their original personality with a few tweak as they wanted on our contract. They left here a rich person and no longer have to deal with whatever issues they have before they entered a contract with us." Adelle said. "We eased their suffering."

  The Doctor demanded to see the technology they used on these people.

  They met Topher who animatedly explained with a smug look on his face about the machine. He was surprised when the Doctor is able to keep up and talk technology babble on par with him. He was impressed with the Doctor and her with him.

  "Is that what happened to (yn)?" Yaz asked. "Did she entered a contract with you?"

  Adelle looked almost sorry to tell them the truth.

  "She is not real, is she?" The Doctor said. "She is an imprint."

  "The real (yn) (ln) has died a long time ago. But we were requested to copy her brainwave pattern, apparently, she fits some criteria that our client wanted." Topher revealed.

  "Some criteria...funny, kind and brave...exactly my type..." The Doctor snorted in derisive. "The exact companion I can't resist..."

  Both Yaz and Jack stared at the Doctor in confusion and dread as they realized someone ordered one of these Actives, imprinted with a personality of some dead woman that they think will catch the Doctor's interest...as a spy?

  "Who is the client?" Yaz demanded.

  "That is classified." Adelle has said.

  The Doctor snorted. "You already blabber your mouth about all of these, why keep that one a secret?"

  "This is not personal to me, Doctor, I don't know or care who you are. You are our esteemed client problem and she is on the way here to see you. You will soon find out who it is." Adelle said.

  Yaz and Jack look nervous at the mention of the said client coming for them.

  The Doctor glared at her firmly. "I want to talk to (yn). Imprint her back to...Ceres."

  "We can't. The imprint on (yn) (ln) is no longer in our hands. We handed it over to the client per her request."

  "Well, that is not entirely true."

  Adelle turned to glare at Topher. "You didn't."

  "I made a backup, backup of the imprint." Topher sheepishly grinned, sorry-not-sorry.

  Adelle rolled her eyes in fondness at the young man as he grabbed something from the vault of black boxes of imprints and located the imprint he wanted.

  You were led back into the room and into the machine where the Doctor and companion witnessed for the first time how the machine worked.

  7777

  You woke up to the concerned face of the Doctor and Yaz.

  "Doctor? Yaz?" You blinked in confusion. "Where am I?"

  Jack stared at you in pity.

  "What was the last thing you remembered?" The Doctor asked.

  "I was with you and then I was in the interrogation room. There was a woman." You tried to recalled your last memories.

  "Tell me about the woman. What does she look like?" The Doctor requested.

  You described the woman and blanched at the fury on the Doctor's face as she, in disdain, uttered a name.

  "Kovarian."

  The Doctor explained in brief that Kovarian has a grudge on her and if she is coming to the building, they would have to expect a fight on their hands.

  Jack brought gun and ready for a fight.

  You were confused by the whole thing and demanded explanation.

  The way the Doctor glanced at you, like she was disgusted or sad, you didn't understand what to warrant you that expression. She can't still be mad at you for jumping in front of the stupid laser beam, can she?

  Eventually, they told you the truth.

  You were having a hard time believing them. "I am real! Not an imprint!" You yelled at them in denial.

  You saw that the Doctor truly believe that you are not real, that everything you experienced together are all lies. You were angry and sad. You left the room, unable to face the Doctor any longer. You cried on the stairs away from everyone.

  If it was all fake, a fabricated everything, why does it feel so real? Your feeling is real and valid and you realized right now you are hurt by the Doctor and it hurts so bad it has to be real. How can they say that?

  You couldn't believe the true you, the original personality, has given up on your body and mind, to be a plaything of people for five years. Given that you are on loan for some enemy of the Doctor that probably has time travel on their hands meant that for you it might already be longer than five years.

  "Why woud I do that?" You asked yourself out loud.

  "You could no longer live with the consequence of your own action." Adelle answered for you. "And you no longer have to."

  "What could be so bad that I, that she would do that?" You asked her.

  She didn't answer at first. "Do you really want to know?"

  You glanced at her, at her serious expression on her face and realized you are afraid to find out about the original you because that would be like admitting that you are not real and you are not ready.

  Suddenly a bunch of men dressed like an army entered the building, quick to block the all possible way out.

  Adelle sighed in exasperation.

  7777

  Jack was able to escape the resulting chaos as the Doctor and Yaz surrender to face the client they have been waiting for.

  "You really have a perchance to ruin my plan, don't you, Doctor?" Kovarian look annoyed at the fact the Doctor found out about (yn) before she could use you against her and that she doesn't even surprised to see her again.

  You and the Doctor glared at the woman.

  "Hello, Kovarian, colonel run-away." The Doctor coldly greeted them.

  The colonel twitched at the cursed nickname the oncoming storm has bestowed upon him for his part in kidnapping Amy and Melody Pond.

  Kovarian glanced at the Doctor and then at you. "I see you get (yn) back after all." She glanced at Adelle and Topher in disapproval. "What do you think of my gift to you, Doctor?"

  The Doctor glared at the woman. "What do you hope to accomplish from using her?"

  Kovarian smiled menacingly at the Doctor. "I suppose it is no longer matter since you already found out that (yn) here is a fake."

  You bristled at that. You were angry and ready to snap back at the stupid eye-patch lady but to your surprise, the Doctor pulled you away from the woman.

  "You got me now. What are you gonna do about it?" The Doctor taunted her instead.

  Kovarian smirked. "Oh you will find out." She suddenly recite something in that flat tone of her, a twisted version of the tick tock goes the clock that the Doctor recognized but instead of using River's name, this time, it was yours.

  The reaction is immediate as you clenched your head in pain.

  "Oh shit." Topher recognized it as a sleeper mode within an Active, probably a combat-ready personality one.

  Yaz grabbed onto you, worrying about your state but Topher warned her to step away from you.

  You stared blankly ahead.

  "What have you done, Kovarian?" The Doctor demanded even though she already guess what happened to you.

  You walked toward the colonel who gave you a gun and you proceed to point the gun at the Doctor.

  The Doctor was able to duck thankfully. She was correct, after all. Of course, she is going to use you as a weapon like she did with River.

  Yaz, Adelle and Topher also duck on the floor.

  You stride in confident as you commanded the Doctor to kneel.

  Having a gun pointed at her, the Doctor has no choice but to obey.

  Suddenly a different sound of alarm ringing through the building and it made you groaned in pain and you were knocked out cold.

  Topher realized it was emergency alarm that will immediately wiped every imprints in the building and since you are currently an imprint, you were effected too. 

  Before anyone can do anything, there is a blackout and the shooting started causing chaos.

  The Doctor crawled near Yaz and covered her with her body.

  When the blackout is over, the Doctor looked up and froze when she saw River and Jack together with guns, incapacitating Kovarian men.

  "Hello, sweetie." River greeted the Doctor with her usual flirty tone. "Loving the new look."

  Jack has somehow get into the tardis and asked it for help in getting more people to rescue the Doctor and the machine has led him to the Doctor's wife.

  The Doctor is momentarily distracted by the appearance of her wife. She is happy to see her again despite knowing the heartaches she would later feel again, having to say goodbye and return her beloved wife to the correct timeline and erased River's memory of her current incarnation.

  Kovarian has lost once more to the Doctor and River. She is pissed but there is not much she can do except apparently destroy the imprint (yn) she has on her person, essentially killing the chance for (yn) to return or so she hopes. She was petty and she wish to hurt the Doctor anyway she can.

  The Doctor glanced forlornly at the destroyed piece of tech that carried (yn) within. To tell the truth, she has no idea if she would want to bring (yn) back again.

  You slowly woke up to Yaz's concerned face. "Did I fall asleep?" You asked her.

  Yaz's face fell at that. She recognized Ceres for her childlike look.

  "For a little a while." Topher answered.

  You smiled at him as he helped you up.

  The Doctor glanced at you sadly.

  River glanced at the Doctor curiously and then at you. Jack has filled her in about you before.

  The Doctor's hearts nearly tear apart when Topher had said the backup imprint of (yn) he made also got damaged during the shooting. Was (yn) gone for real now? She didn't even get to say goodbye.

  She wasn't the only one who is in grief. Yaz is sad as you were her friend too.

  7777

  The Doctor would have like to shut down the Dollhouse but settled on the demand for the release of the original personality of you be returned and released from the Dollhouse service. She didn't want to see you used by anyone ever again.

  Adelle agreed and being generous enough to release you with more money than the contract stated. 

  The Doctor warned her that the tech they used is dangerous and someday some people are going to want to use it, abuse it, for their personal gain.

  Adelle reassured her that she won't let that happen. She care for the Dollhouse and the Actives.

  The Doctor watched as you, the real you, talked to Adelle. You looked very beautiful at that moment but she noticed the underlying pain on your eyes. She had read your file and watch your recruitment video. She knew the reasoning behind your acceptance of the Dollhouse contract. 

  You bumped into her and apologized politely. There is no recognition on your eyes upon seeing her. 

  The Doctor's hearts ached as she forced a smile at you.

  You walked away without turning back, passing Yaz and Jack without so much a look.

  Yaz watched you go with a look of grief on her face.

  7777

  River comforted the Doctor the only way she could as she suspected that (yn) is someone dear to the Doctor. River has the damaged tech from Topher unbeknownst of the Doctor. She is hoping she could fix it and maybe lessen the pain in her wife's eyes. But she knew it was a long shot so she didn't dare to alert the Doctor of her intention. 

  After saying goodbye to River once more, the Doctor keep her mask in place for her companion's benefit.

  Yaz wanted to check on your well being and she obliged because she has a duty of care.

  They didn't approach you, only watched you from far away.

  You didn't look happy but you make do. You live well with the generous amount of money on your bank account.

  The Doctor and Yaz left the sight of you and back into the tardis.

  The wheezing sound of the tardis caught your attention as you glanced around in curiosity before shrugging and resumed your walking.

     A/N: So, yeah, finally a sort of crossover fusion of doctor who and dollhouse. It has been a while since I last watch dollhouse so I might get some fact wrong but plot holes whatever, right? November and Whiskey are my favorite characters on Dollhouse. Guess the reader's situation is similar to that of November but without the sad ending. Also, what am I even writing? I knew the plot fell flat in regard of how Kovarian going to use the reader against the Doctor. I don't feel so good now but as usual I'm just gonna post it and run away.

I hope this is entertaining enough for a good read. Thank you for reading. Hope you have a good day. Stay safe, everyone.

     Where do we go from here?

#doctor who x reader #13th doctor x reader #thirteenth doctor x reader #doctor who fanfiction #shiefenwrites

[illfoandillfie]

please give me Anything himbo roger i need this like perhaps... him being obsessed with eating pussy? pls? - cloud anon

I’m so so so glad you requested more himbo rog because i love any excuse to write him lmao. This is a bit of a long one, certainly well over blurb length but what are you gonna do. I just have a lot of thots where himbo rog is concerned and then there was that convo a little while ago about dressing him in a maid uniform and I had to use it in here. 

warnings: smut, hypnosis & bimbofication, dom!reader, fingering, pegging, oral sex (f receiving), hand job, a little bit of spanking, a little choking, a very brief mention of public sex, free use (perhaps leaning ever so slightly into consensual non consent), humiliation and degradation

Blurb Advent: Day 15

Future Management Series (all my bimbo/himbo writing)

Taglist:  @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @ilovequeenmorethanyou @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies @cherries-n-rocknroll @rogersslave @scorpiogemini  

The costume shop was quiet when you entered it, one of the fluorescent lights at the far end flickering. The lady at the counter looked up from her magazine, her gaze lingering on Roger for a moment before she looked back down.

“What was the theme again?” you asked Roger as you flicked through a rack of women’s costumes.

“The letter M,” he replied from one of the other racks.

“How did Freddie pick that?”

“Dunno, you’d have to ask him. Bigger question is what are we going to wear.”

“What about Mickey and Minnie Mouse?” you shrugged.

“That sounds easy. And we’d look cute as fuck.”

“Sorry, hun,” the woman at the counter piped up, “Sold out of them two days ago.”

“Rats.”

“Mice, love,” Roger teased poking his tongue out as he went to check out another row of costumes, “We could make them from scratch I suppose.”

“Left it a bit late though. We’re meant to have them by Saturday.” You headed to the counter in the hopes that the woman there would be able to speed things up, “Do you have any other costumes starting with M then?”

She sighed as she were being interrupted in a very important task before putting down her magazine and pulling out a binder full of lists of stock. Flicking through it she located the section with M. An awful lot of it had been crossed out.

“How many people are invited to this thing? And do they all shop here?”

He shrugged as he joined you at the counter, “Roughly half of London if his last party was anything to go by. What are our options?”

The women smiled at Roger, her attitude becoming much friendlier now that he was involved, “Not a lot I’m afraid. We’ve still got a Mummy, as in Ancient Egypt, ummm, a Maid, as in French, Marilyn Monroe, Mary Poppins, a Monk, Mrs Clause, Medieval Princess…”

“Looks like you’ll be easy to sort out,” Roger said to you, “not much in the way of mens costumes though. I’d be an alright Mummy I guess,”

“Sorry, should have specified. It’s a women’s costume that one. Very sexy,”

“How do you make a Mummy sexy?”

“Strategically removed bandages. I can show you if you like,” she said this last part to Roger, suggestion dripping from every word.

“What about the Monk?” you suggested.

“Ehhhh,”

“Beggars can’t be choosers Rog.”

“Alright, it’s the backup idea. Would I be able to fit in any of those other costumes though?”

The woman thought about it, giving Roger a once over as if measuring him with just her eyeballs, “The Maid maybe. Think we should have one large enough.”

“Alright I’ll try that.”

“And I’ll go Marilyn Monroe?”

“You as Marilyn? Oh there’s a joke in there somewhere…something about How To Mary A Millionaire?”

You shook your head at him, “Just go and try on your dress,”

It was a good thing Roger had no qualms about cross dressing because the maid outfit fit perfectly. One look at Roger’s legs in the short, ruffled skirt had your mind whirring with ideas. He bought both your costumes, adding in a maid’s headband and fishnet stockings for himself and a blond Marilyn wig for you. And on Saturday night you watched him don the outfit once more, struggling to keep your hands off him. Without you knowing, he’d gone and bought himself a pair of simple black heels, explaining that if he was going to do it he might as well do it properly. Unfortunately for you they just emphasised the shape of his legs in the fishnets and made his hips sway as he walked.

 The party itself was fun but you constantly found yourself zoning out, thinking about what you’d like to do to Roger before he got out of the dress.

“Love?” he asked, making you blink yourself back to the thumping music and loud voices, “You alright?’

“Fine,” you nodded.

Roger frowned and grabbed your hand, leading you away from the main throng of people, “You’ve been zoning out all night, are you sure you’re okay? Haven’t had too much to drink or anything?”

“No, it’s fine. Someone lit up a joint before and I must have breathed in some of it without meaning to.”

He gave you a look like he knew there was more to it.

“Also, maybe I can’t stop thinking about trancing you in that dress.”

“Oh,” his eyes widened and if it hadn’t been as dark as it was you would have seen a light pink stain creeping up his neck. He glanced around and then pulled you off down the hall and towards an even quieter spot, “and um, what might that look like?”

“I don’t know, got a few ideas,” your breath hitched as Roger pushed you into a dark corner of whichever room you’d ended up in, “like the idea of you on your knees. Bet I could see your arse if you leaned forward enough.”

Roger attached his lips to your throat, oblivious of if anyone else was around.

“Maybe spanking you or edg – ” you were cut off as Roger kissed you full on the mouth, his hands already working at getting his underwear and stockings down far enough to get his dick out.

“We’ll continue this conversation at home,” he said as he lifted you up, pushing your back against the wall as he moved your underwear aside.

 It took a couple of days for the topic to come up again but Roger was still just as into it as he had been at the party. He’d clearly been thinking about it too because he had almost as many ideas as you did and for a week or so you discussed it on and off. It came up intermittently, sometimes a single idea out of nowhere.

“What if you tranced me and made me think I was your maid or uhhh servant? Maybe like acted really strict? Or mean even?”

“What about I get a bell to ring to get your attention but use the hypnosis to condition you to get hornier when you hear it?”

Or sometimes it was more of a conversation with each of you building on what the other said.

“What do you think about exploring that free use thing we talked about a few months ago? Like me just having you how I want and when I want.”

“Would that require a more extended hypnosis? A whole day maybe? More?”

“No I don’t think so. I mean, maybe longer than the usual couple of hours. An afternoon? Not longer than a day though, I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that to you.”

“Then yeah okay, we did agree it sounded hot in a non-hypno way so mixing them together should work. Um, what about that pegging thing we tried?”

“You wanna do it again?”

“Yeah I think so. Again, it was pretty hot last time so doing it while I’m hypnotised can only be better, right?”

“Are you sure? We’re both pretty new to it.”

“Yeah I’m sure. I really enjoyed it,” he laughed nervously, “and I would have suggested doing it again anyway, this just seems like a good excuse.”

By the end of the week you had a pretty solid idea about what you were both looking for from the scene and what you’d both feel comfortable doing. And you arranged it so you were both at home on Friday, free to spend the morning relaxing and the afternoon playing.

After an early lunch in which you made sure to mess up the kitchen, Roger went and changed, once again putting on the dress, fishnets, hair piece and shoes. Only this time he wore one of your thongs, sheer black, underneath and a butt plug you’d picked up for him, complete with a pink jewel on the end. For your part, you dressed in one of your work outfits with a grey pencil skirt and white blouse, hopeful that it would make you seem more authoritative. Roger did a little spin for you when he was dressed and then sat in one of the kitchen chairs so you could talk him down into his trance. The scenario you’d agreed upon had him believing he was your silly brainless maid, hired to do whatever you asked. The sound of your bell meant you had another task for him, but it also made him extra horny. So horny in fact that he’d have trouble remembering what he was meant to be doing. As you dropped him deeper and he relaxed more, you noticed his legs spreading further open, making you laugh to yourself. Finally you rang the bell to wake him.

Roger grinned at you from the chair, “What can I do for you Ma’am?”

“Your first job of the day, Dummy,” you said, putting on a stern voice that left no room for argument, “is to dust off the bookshelf in the living room. It’s filthy up there.”

“Where?”

“Through this doorway,” you pointed and he dutifully stood up and began to walk toward it.

“You’ll need a duster,” you reminded him.

“Oh! Of course, Ma’am. Umm….”

“In that cupboard,”

Roger nodded, cheeks pink with embarrassment and retrieved the feather duster.

You followed him out to the living room, watching his skirt bounce with each step. He started off with the shelves at eye level, humming to himself as he brushed the duster over them, but soon had to move on to the shelves higher up. You perched yourself on the couch, acting as if you were reading though your eyes were on Roger, watching as he wobbled on his tip toes, his skirt riding up. You rang the bell and Roger jolted, looking around for you as he bit his lip.

���Yes Ma’am?”

“I think you might need to stand on a chair, Dummy. It doesn’t seem like you can reach the top shelves.”

He nodded and hurried to retrieve one, nearly running in his haste to please you.

The chair was a stroke of genius on your part. It gave you a good view up his skirt as he happily continued his dusting, especially when he leant over to get the far end of each shelf without moving his chair. You could clearly see the pink jewel every time and it made you eager to get him onto the next task. With another ring of the bell Roger jumped down to the ground and hurried to ask what he could do now.

“My shoes,” you said, pointing at the heels on your feet, “they need polishing. I want you to spit shine them for me.”

Roger blinked at you.

You clicked and pointed at your shoes again, “On your knees. C’mon, I’m not paying you to stand around and look pretty. Lick my shoes clean.”

“Yes Ma’am, sorry Ma’am,” he bowed his head and dropped to his knees where he stood, crawling over to you.

“Good Dummy,” you said as he trailed his tongue over the toe of your shoe. You’d wiped down the shoes earlier just to make sure Roger wouldn’t pick up any germs from them, but he was too brainless to notice they were already clean, enthusiastically licking at them. You made it clear you were watching him closely though. Midway through the second shoe you saw him brush his hand over the front of the skirt and stopped his shoe shining.

“I’m sorry, Dummy, is this making you horny?”

“Yes, Ma’am, it is,”

“Show me how much,” you wiggled your shoe under the hem of the skirt and pressed it lightly up, rubbing the toe against his crotch, “Hump my shoe, Maid.”

Without any more encouragement he began doing exactly as you’d asked, dragging his clothed cock along the top of your shoe, letting his eyes shut as he bit his lip.

“Alright, enough.” You pulled your food free and held it out in front of you, “Is it my imagination or did you make a mess on my shoe?”

He tilted his head to the side.

“I think you’re so fucking horny you’ve got precum all over my shoe. Is that right?”

“I don’t know,”

“Well,” you grabbed him by the hair and pushed him over the streak, “clean it up and tell me.”

Roger whimpered as you pulled his hair to move him where you wanted but thanked you for helping him and confirmed you were right. After that you felt he deserved a reward so you readjusted yourself, pulling your pencil skirt a little higher up your legs before you rang the bell again.

Roger groaned quietly at the sound, his breathing a little harder than before and then sat back. His eyes fell to where your skirt was gathered against your thigh as you crossed your legs.

“What now Ma’am?” he watched closely as you recrossed your legs, “Is there something else you’d like me to lick?”

“I don’t know. Is there something else you’d like to lick?”

He nodded, eyes still firmly on your thighs.

“Aren’t you just a pathetic little slut.”

“Am I?”

“I’m afraid so. Do you understand why?”

Roger nodded, still staring at your crotch, and then shook his head.

“Oh Dummy. It’s one thing to be my good little maid and eat me out when I tell you to, it’s entirely different for you to ask to do it. Do you see how slutty that makes you?”

Roger tilted his head and then shook it.

You tutted at him and knocked the bell as if on accident.

He whined at the sound.

“Crawl to the dining room. I want you to wash the floor in there.”

“But…please? I want to lick you soooooo bad and I’d be so good at it.”

“Careful, Maid. Now crawl.

“Yes Ma’am.” Roger dipped his head in apology and began crawling to the next room.

You stepped around him to retrieve a bucket of water and a cloth, placing both on the floor of the dining room where he stopped, “You know what to do.”

He looked at the bucket and back to you, confusion written all over his face.

With an exaggerated and exasperated sigh you handed him the cloth and, taking hold of his wrist, plunged his hand into the warm water. He gasped as you then wrenched it free and dropped it to the floorboards.

“Scrub.”

He nodded, looking mildly upset and dragged the cloth slowly over the floor.

You watched for a little while before coming up behind him, “Put your back into it, stop being lazy.” you pressed his upper back with your foot to make him bend forward.

His neck and face were bright pink, though it was hard to say whether it was arousal or embarrassment that was making him flush more. He did as you asked though, scrubbing the floor harder. You stepped behind him again, admiring the view and occasionally reminding him what you expected. After you felt you’d watched him struggle enough you stepped up behind him again. He pushed the cloth harder, expecting another reprimand. Instead you trailed you hand over the curve of his arse, pushing his skirt up higher.

Roger stilled, though you heard him whine softly into the floor.

“You’re doing a very good job, Dummy.”

He gasped when you suddenly spanked him but he pushed his arse back against your hand.

“You want another?”

He shook his head but kept pressing back against you.

“But I think you do,” You gave him another spank, “Now keep being good and see if you can earn some more.”

He nodded and smiled, though there were tears in his eyes, and then returned to scrubbing the floor.

 You let him go for a while, stepping out into the other room to calm down and get ready for the next part of the plan. You could feel your wetness pooling in your underwear with how turned on you were at ordering Roger around and how much he was enjoying it. Originally you were going to make him wait to get you off until after you’d fucked him but perhaps you could have your cake and eat it too. All the same you headed to the bedroom to gather the strap and dildo you’d bought when the topic of pegging had first arisen between you. You grabbed them and the lube and then put them down again as you considered your next move. The conclusion you came to was that there wasn’t much point having a desperate bimbo toy if you were only going to deny yourself. Roger came as much as he wanted when you were the one under his influence, so why shouldn’t you do the same. You quickly shimmied out of your underwear, and then picked everything up again, dropping it on the couch in the living room on your way back to see how Roger was getting along. He was still scrubbing though he’d spilt some of the water as he’d moved the bucket, the top of his dress wet in patches. You pulled out one of the chairs, standing in front of it as you rang the bell, and watched as Roger squirmed at the sound.  

“What can I do for you Ma’am?”

“Come here.”

He immediately dropped the cloth and crawled towards you.

“Good Dummy. Need your fingers to make me feel good.” You rucked your skirt up and dropped onto the seat, placing one leg up on the table.

Rogers eyes lit up and he leaned forward as if to lick hungrily along your slit.

You grabbed his hair and held him back.

“Ma’am?” Roger whined, struggling against your grip with his tongue hanging out, desperate to reach your cunt.

“I said fingers, slut.”

Roger whimpered again but brought his hand up, trailing his fingers along your slit.

“That’s right Dummy. You’re gonna finger me and make me cum and you’re going to keep your eyes up here so I know you’ll behave yourself.”

He nodded rapidly, his eyes on yours, “You’re wet,”

“You know how much I like watching your cute little arse work. C’mon, finger me,” you instructed, waiting until he’d sunk one digit into you before continuing, “Love seeing you with that pretty plug. Makes me want to use you.”

“Ma’am can I…?”

“I didn’t say you could talk. Focus.”

Roger’s eyebrows furrowed as he pulled his finger out and pressed it back in.

“You look confused Slut. What’s the matter?”

“Is this good?”

You smiled indulgently at that, half convinced he’d been about to ask to eat you out again, “So good Dummy. Add a second finger.”

He did as you asked, automatically curling them against you as he pulled them out.

“You’re such a good, obedient servant.” You relaxed back into the chair, letting Roger find a good rhythm.

He was quiet for a bit, concentrating, and then “Can I lick you now?”

You made a tutting noise, “I thought you understood your position.”

“Pos-tition?”

“I guess I have to explain it again then. I don’t care if you like licking cunt, this isn’t about you. You’re my maid. Your job is to serve me however I want, remember? I don’t care if you want something different. You’re mine to use how and when I want. Those were the conditions I hired you under, do you understand?”

“Yes Ma’am,”

“Are you sure? Then why haven’t I cum yet?”

Roger kept his eyes locked on yours as he sunk a third finger into you, pumping them faster and bringing his other hand up to rub your clit.

“Better,” you managed to get out, though it was much breathier than you’d intended.

Roger poked his tongue out between his teeth as he put all his energy into pleasuring you. You let your head drop back, rocking your hips in time with his thrusts as he sank his fingers deep into you, his other hand firmly occupied too. He slid his thumb between your lips and up to circle your clit, spreading your arousal over your cunt. The mixture of sensations sent you over the edge without too much delay, your legs clamping shut to keep his hand where you wanted it until you’d come down. Afterwards you made Roger hold his fingers up, cleaning them off with your own tongue. He whined and pouted as he watched you lick up your juices, so desperate to taste you for himself. You gave him a small concession though, grabbing his cheeks when you were done to force his mouth open. He looked confused as you brought your face close and spat onto his tongue, your saliva tinged with what you’d just licked from his fingers. But he thanked you with a big smile and a small hum of satisfaction as he swallowed it.

“What now Ma’am?” he asked softly, sitting up straighter and glancing at the bell.

You bumped the bell against your palm as if in thought, watching Roger wince with each ring, “The kitchen needs a tidy up. Go in there and wipe down all the benches for me, okay? I’ll be back soon to check on you.”

Roger nodded and walked on unsteady legs back through the house. You followed him, needing to point him in the right direction a couple of times, and then continued on to the living room to collect your supplies and remove your skirt. It took you a little while to figure out the harness. Last time Roger had helped you get set up so doing it on your own was a little confusing. You took a breath and reminded yourself you were a smart and capable woman and that you could figure out a simple sex toy on your own, and eventually got it on right. When you were comfortable you popped open the lube and spread more than you thought you’d need along the shaft of the toy. It still felt a little bizarre to look down and see a penis, even if it was obviously fake. The first time you’d tried it on you’d wondered aloud if the work you did for those living rough would have been easier to achieve if you had a real one and Roger had suggested you wear it to work one day and find out. You’d laughed at how ridiculous that was and the memory made you chuckle again as you double checked everything was in the right place.

Roger was in the kitchen when you arrived, standing at the bench with a cloth in his hand, humming to himself, though he seemed to have forgotten what he was meant to be doing. You stepped behind him and ran your hand up the inside of his thigh, over the stockings.

The humming stopped and he stilled, “Ma’am?”

“Bend over.”

He did as you asked, his chest and arms leaning on the bench.

You felt him up, letting your hands roam under his skirt, brushing over his cock and along his thigh and over his arse, making his shiver and whine. “Good thing this dress is so short, Dummy. Makes it so much easier for me. And it makes you look like a slut. You’re very hard by the way, does that mean you like it when I tell you what to do?”

His voice was soft when he spoke to the bench top, “Yes, Ma’am,”

“That’s good because I like telling you what to do. And you should be happy to know that I’m wet from watching my brainless maid working all day.”

“I am happy!”

“You are?”

“Mmhmm. Maybe I could help you Ma’am, I love cunt so much.”

“Aww Dummy,” you cooed, stroking your fingers through his hair, “That’s sweet of you to offer but it’s not what I want right now,” you took the fishnets in both hands and tugged until a rip formed right along the back, “For now I want you to stay bent over for me so I can use you. Just like I talked about before, remember?”

“When you said I’m yours to use how you want?”

“You do remember! Good boy!”

“And you said, ummmm,” he gasped as you moved his underwear aside and began slowly working the plug out of him, adding lube to make it easier

“Go one, what else did I say?” you asked as you pushed the plug back in, fucking him with it, adding more lube as necessary.

“Umm, you said they were the,” he stretched out the word as he thought hard, “oh! The co-com-bit-ons and that its, umm, my job to serve you?”

“Very good! That was so much to remember, I’m very impressed.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, Dummy. I think I’ll have to give you a reward for remembering it all so well.”

Roger looked over his shoulder at you, grinning, “Thank you Ma’am,”

“Alright, turn back around, I’m still going to use you. Because….?”

“Because I’m yours?”

“Good boy,” you pulled the plug free and placed it on the bench beside you. Squeezing some more lube onto your fingers you began spreading it over his arsehole.

“‘s cold,” he said softly to the bench.

“I know baby, but it won’t be for long. And I gotta make sure there’s enough so that I don’t hurt you. And then you’ll be all ready for my cock.”

Roger nodded, flattening himself on the bench as you lined up the tip of the dildo and slowly sank into him.

Roger made a high pitched keening noise and you reached out to stroke his hair again as he adjusted.

“You okay, baby?” you asked letting the stern act drop for a moment.

Roger nodded, “yeah, ‘m okay. Just feels funny.”

“But good though?”

“Mmhmm. Good.”

“Good. I want you to like it. It’s more fun when you do.”

“I do!” as if to prove it he pushed his hips back, making you sink a little deeper.

“I can see that,” you laughed, “I’m gonna fuck you now, okay Dummy, and you’re going to enjoy it, right?”

He nodded, whining as you pulled your hips back slowly and then thrust forward again, figuring out your rhythm and adjusting to the sort of muscle movement it required. As you got more comfortable with it you let yourself be a little firmer, grasping Roger’s waist and fucking him harder, drawing more gasps and whines and moans from him. You varied your speed, sometimes faster and sometimes slower, keeping Roger from knowing exactly what you would do next (and giving yourself a break every so often). He’d taken your instruction to enjoy it to heart though. His fingernails scraped along the top of the bench as he tried to ground himself, rocking his hips back against you whenever you slowed.

“I want you to cum, Dummy. Rub your cock through your pretty sheer panties.”

“Th-through?”

“Over your panties.”

“Um,”

You stilled your hips and pulled out of him so you could grab his hand and lift his skirt, placing his palm over his cock, “now rub.”

He nodded, swallowing hard as he began to stroke himself. His hand stilled as you plunged into him again but a warning word made him remember what you wanted and he shakily followed your orders as you fucked him hard.

“How does it feel, Maid, being used for my entertainment?”

Roger babbled something incomprehensible in response. You couldn’t tell if it was just noise or if he’d been trying to form words but it was hot either way.

“C’mon, show me how much you like being my pretty little fuck doll. Be the pathetic little slut I know you are, and cum.” You panted between the words but Roger didn’t seem to notice or if he did he didn’t care. It must have sounded authoritative enough because a few seconds later he was moaning, his fingers twitching and legs shaking as he came. You slowed to a stop and replaced the dildo with his plug again before fixing his underwear and smoothing down his skirt.

“There, all pretty again,”

“Thank you Ma’am,” he sighed.

You patted his head, “Finish up cleaning off the benches in here and I’ll have another job for you.” You walked off, releasing a long breath once you were out of his hearing.

 In the time it took you to get out of the harness, put your skirt back on, throw the dildo into a sink of hot water and relocate the bell, Roger achieved very little. He hadn’t moved from where you’d bent him over though he had stood up and grabbed his cloth again, drawing circles with it over the benchtop. When you came back to get him for his next job he was shifting from foot to foot.

“What’s the matter, Dummy?”

“Nothing,”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded though he didn’t meet your eye.

“Tell me.”

“My panties…”

“Aww, is it a bit uncomfortable?”

He nodded vigorously.

“Well maybe I can distract you.” You rang the bell and watched as his eyes glazed over and his hips jolted. “The bed needs to be made Dummy. Go on, off you go.”

He nodded and hurried off, his heels clicking against the wooden floorboards, his step awkward as he squirmed in discomfort. You followed him and showed him where to get a clean sheet from, watching as he pottered around the bed pulling off all the bedding, throwing them into a pile on the floor. Putting a new fitted sheet on the mattress seemed to be too hard a task though. It was almost cartoonish how much he struggled, placing the wrong corner of the sheet on the wrong corner of the bed and then somehow repeating the same mistake when he tried to turn the sheet around. He wouldn’t stand still, uncomfortably dancing around in his cum soaked underwear, getting more and more frustrated as the corner he thought he’d got on flew up when he tried to fit the next one. Every so often you jangled the bell under the guise of getting his attention to give him a helpful tip or reprimand him for taking so long, but it had the added effect of turning him on more than he already was, his face flushed and his eyes begging. You let him continue for a few minutes and then, when he next turned in response to your bell, you surprised him by pushing him onto the mattress.

“Ma’am?” he asked, voice trembling as you positioned yourself on his thigh and pushed his dress up.

“You made such a mess before, didn’t you? Ruined your panties and I’m afraid it’s spread to your pretty dress,” you showed him the patches on the inside of the skirt from where it had rubbed against the sheer fabric of his knickers and been stained. “Lucky for you I like messy little sluts. And” you palmed him roughly, “I think you like it too. Already hard again?”

Roger shook his head but tilted his head back and whined.

You placed your hand over his throat, “Don’t lie to me, Maid. I can see it; I can feel it. You’re a dirty little slut who gets off on being my property. My dumb little fuck doll.” You punctuated the last sentence by grinding against his thigh with each word, squeezing his length through his stained underwear. “I’m going to make you cum again now and if you’re good I might see about letting you eat me out. I did promise you a reward earlier,”

“Please,” Roger whimpered, “I’ll make you feel so, so good.”

“I know, Dummy. But not yet.” You squeezed his throat at the same time you rubbed your hand over his cock, choking off the moan that had begun to build. Roger squirmed under you as you wanked him off, cooing at him about how pretty he looked and how wet it was making you. Each stroke along his shaft was accompanied by a breathy whine or moan, his head tilted back and his eyes fluttering shut. It was always fun to watch Roger be pushed towards release when he was tranced. It was fun when he wasn’t hypnotised either but there was something about taking his brain away that made him more animated and vocal. He babbled at you again, his hand grabbing your wrist as he got closer, his back arching as he tried to buck his hips up into you.

“Good boy, good Dummy,” you praised him as he finished, able to feel the warmth of his release fill the material again as you kept stroking him, milking every drop you could. He whined loudly as he became more sensitive, but you kept toying with him until tears began leaking from the corners of his eyes.

“Alright, Dummy, stay there while I take my skirt off.”

Roger remained lying where you left him, so you gave him a soft kiss and wiped away his tears, praising him a little more, before you swung your leg over his face and finally let him have what he wanted.  

 It was as if you’d told him he’d won the lottery. He just about cheered as he thanked you repeatedly and then wrapped his arms around your thighs to pull you down onto his tongue. You had to stick out an arm to try and steady yourself as he devoured you, excitedly tracing your lips with his tongue, sucking them into his mouth. He hummed and whimpered against you and used his hands to encourage you to rock yourself against his mouth, spreading your wetness across his face. At one point, so giddy with joy, he giggled, and you jolted at the bizarre tickling sensation of his breath. But that just seemed to spur him on as he licked and sucked every inch of your cunt he could reach. You weren’t sure if his end goal was to make you cum or if he just got very excited and enthusiastic about pussy but, either way, the result was the same. It was impossible to hold back your release as his tongue slid along your folds and his lips latched onto you. He hummed as you gasped and tensed above him, refusing to stop until you pried his hands from your thighs and let yourself fall back to the bed. He pouted as if he wanted to throw a tantrum at having his favourite food taken away, but you managed to make him smile by telling him how incredible you felt and how good he was.

He let you lie down next to him and listened quietly as you talked him out of the trance, reminding him who he was and the reality of your situation. You waited as Roger opened his eyes, stroking his hair back from his face softly as everything returned to him.

“Wow,” was the first thing he said, “That was,” he cleared his throat and pushed himself to sit up, “that was something.”

“Yeah?”

“I mean, a very fun something,” he hurried to clarify so you wouldn’t worry, “I take it you enjoyed yourself too?”

You laughed and nodded, “Definitely. This is going to sound bad but I like being mean to you.”

“I get it,” he leaned over to kiss you softly, “I like being mean to you too.”

“And the pegging and free use stuff? All of that was okay? How do you feel now?”

“Oh, better than okay. That was brilliant. We’re definitely playing with them more in the future. Bit sore now and I really, really want to get out of this thong. Also take the plug out.”

“I can arrange that. D’you want some help with the plug?”

“Yes please.” Roger shifted onto his stomach, trying to relax so you could peel off the underwear and slowly wiggle the plug out of his arse, “Add these knickers to the list of ones I’ve ruined though.”

“That’s only cause I get such a kick out of making you cum in your pants.”

He hummed, wincing a little as the plug slipped all the way out, “y’know one of these days I’m going to wake up from a trance and decide to gag you with whatever underwear you made me destroy while I keep eating you out. I still have a bit of a lingering need to have my head between your legs and I do so enjoy overstimulating you.”

“Save that for a special occasion,” you laughed, giving his bum a tap to let him know he could roll over, “C’mon, shall I run us a bath?”

Roger nodded and let you pull him up, kissing you softly before he stood on slightly wobbly legs followed you out of the bedroom.

#my writing #my blurbs #or rather #my fics #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor smut #roger taylor imagine #lord have mercy #i need to lie down for 12 years after this #Anonymous #blurb advent 2020

[ct-multifandom]

MLB ideas/hopes/predictions/prompts

Bunnix using her umbrella to fly like Mary Poppins

Ladybug coming up with an overly convoluted Rube Goldberg machine type plan with her lucky charm, but not having some of the components, so she just sends Pegasus to the store in the middle of a battle

Characters who are close slowly finding out about each other’s superhero identities in funny ways

Pigella picking up something massive and like 10x heavier than her and chucking it

I really want one of these heroes’ tools to be a comically large anime-style weapon, but alas I don’t think they’d do it

Season finale boss fight featuring all the new heroes, which is totally gonna happen at some point, but it would look really busy on screen to have them all running around at once, so I’d split them into smaller teams based on their skills to carry out specific parts of Ladybug’s Epic 36-Step Plan™️. It would make for a satisfying “oh yeah, it’s all coming together” montage and also give us some unique character interactions.

Ladybug picking unique combo teams of new heroes based on their skills to fight specific strong villains

Alya starting a school paper and getting the whole team in on it. I love the episodes where the class does one big project together, they’re so cute.

Someone/a group getting akumatized on purpose to disobey Hawkmoth and take advantage of their akuma’s power for a noble goal

Episode from the POV of a boring background character detailing how the life of the average Parisian is affected by LB and CN. Unreliable scheduling, monster traffic jams, the sheer embarrassment of getting got by an akuma...

I want an animal to get akumatized. Someone’s dog who feels lonely when their favorite human gets a new, demanding job and turns into a terrifying Cerberus beast or something.

Mayor Bourgeois allocates some taxpayer dollars into a LB bank account to support her, and she has to make the very important decision on whether to save it for a real emergency or buy 17 hamburgers.

Okay part of me doesn’t want to make kwami/future hero predictions in case I accidentally come up with something way cooler than what will really happen and then be disappointed, but the other part of me is like hee hoo predikshun. So don’t expect these to actually happen lol.

I won’t talk about Multimouse because we kinda know everything about her, but she looks cute and it’s nice to see two heroes who aren’t super skinny.

The silhouette of Minotaurox in the intro doesn’t offer a lot of insight other than his epic horns. I have no idea what his tool might be. His costume looks to be pretty simple/practical, though, which is in line with Ivan’s character. I heard a theory that his power will be increasing in size, and it makes sense looking at Stoneheart and the pattern of flipping the characters’ flaws on their head, but that sounds kind of boring to me, especially compared to all the other creative abilities.

Tigresse’s silhouette makes me think her design will be awesome. Her tail looks like it might be her tool. It kind of resembles Amethyst’s whip from SU so maybe she can use it to grab things like Ladybug does with her yo-yo. I heard a theory that her power will be invisibility which I support because it takes the flaw that turned Juleka into Reflekta (wanting to be invisible out of insecurity) and makes it powerful like the stealth of a tiger.

From the silhouette, Caprikid looks a bit like a beginner’s Trollhunters cosplay, but I’m sure he’ll be cool. I’ve seen people argue whether he’s Nate or Marc and I’m positive he’s Marc (making Nate CC) so if anyone asks for an explanation I’ll make the comprehensive post on why. He’s holding his tool, and I’ve seen debate over which direction it’s in. If he’s holding it pointed up it looks like a giant calligraphy brush, but I think he’s holding it pointed down and the “brush” is just a decoration on the end. I’ve heard a theory that it’s a shepherd’s cane which is my favorite one. Personal idea here: I’d make his power telekinesis. Pretty basic, but I can imagine it being very useful for the type of scenarios we see in the show without it being OP. I like the idea of using a cane to “shepherd” something through the air. This could reflect Reverser’s desire for control, but flip it to be more collected and useful.

I fully support Coq Courage’s ninja pants, they are simply Correct. It’d be cool if his tool was a bow and arrow, and that seems like a pretty popular theory. The shape to the left of his torso looks like it might be a quiver but it’s probably just his other arm. Thumb rings are used in archery, but what little we’ve seen of the miraculous (disguised on Marinette and Chloe) shows a different type of ring. Still tho. Also get ready for my crazy never-gonna-happen idea: the bow can turn into a hang glider. Roosters can fly, but not super well/freely, which could translate to gliding. It’d add some versatility to the way the heroes move around since a lot of the temporary ones can only run, and it would let him reach places LB might not be able to. I’ve heard a theory that his power will be supersonic voice which could contrast how Nathaniel is bad at communicating and quiet until he gets mad and blows up.

Orikko might be the kwami of illumination. Roosters are associated with the sun and Evillustrator’s power was sourced from light. At first I thought his transformation words might be “sunrise” and “sunset” but someone said the activation code could be “rise and shine” which sounds awesome.

Traquemoiselle, believe it or not, is actually in the intro, she’s just hidden at the very top and only a snippet of the head is showing. All we know is that she has round dog ears. Barrk is surprisingly one of the more fleshed-out kwamis as of now, having a few solid lines of characterization in Furious Fu. Kwamis are usually yin-yang to their holder, so Barrk fits Sabrina perfectly, being loyal yet independent while Sabrina is loyal and an absolute doormat. No clue about her tool. Her power is kinda in the name: tracking. Maybe she can track down some one specific thing of her choice, but maybe she can sniff out akumas. As seen in Dark Owl and Gang of Secrets, Hawkmoth can be creative with akuma placement, so she can probably save the team from some close calls.

I have no theories for the transformation words of the other kwamis. Ziggy or Stompp could include “horns” or “charge” and Roaar “stripes” but I can’t think of any phrase including those words that isn’t too similar to an existing one. There are some phrases based on powers, though, not the animal. Or maybe they’ll just give up and give us another iteration of “Sass, scales slither”.

I think the theme for one of these remaining new heroes might be “assertion”. A lot of them struggle with that as their civilian selves, and the animals that are left can all be associated with independence/dominance, not that the animal traits always play into what the heroes are.

Ok last one, long one: in season 3, Luka’s main traits were “cool and nice” which doesn’t make for an interesting, complex major character, and at first he seemed like the perfect love interest, but from an outside perspective the extent of his kindness is kind of disturbing. I’m hoping they can flip this around and turn it into a character flaw where he has practically no boundaries, and it turns into a problem. Maybe he could agree to run random errands for the background characters for nothing in return, and at first it’s just him being nice, but later people start seeing his help as an obligation. They get peeved when he’s unavailable one day and get akumatized into a “boss rush” of classic akumas, effectively trapping and forcing him to help them. Then Tigresse Pourpe comes and helps save the day, expanding on Juleka and Luka’s relationship. The resolution can teach kids that putting yourself first isn’t necessarily selfish, and that sitting back and letting people take advantage of your kindness isn’t heroic.

There’s probably some stuff I forgot which I can put in a different post later, but lmk if you want a separate post about any of these things in more detail! This was just me rambling out all my new hyperfixation thoughts. Also if anyone uses any of the hypotheticals/scenarios as a prompt I’d love to see it.

#miraculous ladybug #mlb #miraculous spoilers #miraculous les aventures de ladybug et chat noir #miraculous season 4 #miraculous lb #too lazy to add all the character tags #long post #brain go brrrr

[ninliane]

baby on board - osamu miya x reader

summary: you try to tell osamu you’re pregnant as well as atsumu loosing a few years of his life. probs one of my favorite stories :> (also kinda based off modern family episodes)

---

“Hey so I’m going down to the restaurant to try and close that deal on the Tokyo branch,” Osamu said grabbing his wallet and phone. “I really need this to work out so I won’t be back until the evening.” 

“Yeah, of course. Your brother, his team, and the old team all confirmed for the dinner at seven.” You stated, looking through the cabinets to see if you needed any groceries. As you closed the last one you saw Osamu pacing around the kitchen through the living room, a frown on his face as he looked under the cushions. You sighed, knowing what he was looking for. 

You walked up to him, not stopping when picked up his wallet from the kitchen counter and handing it to him. “You left it there two seconds ago.” 

“Sorry,” he responded grabbing it out of your hand. “This is a really important meeting and the last thing I need is any more stress. I’ll know their decision soon but I just don’t want anything unexpected to happen today.” 

You tensed up at that last part. “Yup nothing unexpected happening,” you held your head high averted your gaze and swallowed. 

“See you tonight,” and he left the house.

The thing is you had just found out that you were pregnant two nights ago. You haven’t told anyone yet as you wanted your husband to be the first to find out as he is the father of your child. The night before you had snuck out to buy another test just to confirm it, and again this morning at 4 am to dispose of the test and box before he could find out. 

You had planned to tell him today on his birthday but the meeting for long-awaited Tokyo branch had come. That meeting could have gone two ways, he could have it approved making his life-long dream come true along with having a son, or it could get rejected and he could break down or get mad if you told him you two were expecting a child. 

You couldn’t blame him, you need to be financially stable to support your family. And since you didn’t have a job at the moment as he insisted he would work, he was the only one supporting you.

Who knows how much one branch could make your family last.

Trying to push the negative thoughts aside for the rest of the morning you try to relax. You eat come of the onigiri’s for lunch, careful about what you put into your body from now on. It was only until you heard the doorbell in the afternoon were you anxious about the meeting. You got up and opened it to see a grinning blond. 

“Hiya sis,” Atsumu waved, “Thought ya might need help preparing the birthday dinner.” 

You sighed and gave a weak smile. “You’re a lifesaver thank you.” 

Atsumu talked aimlessly about his day, his training, and the team as you two cooked in the kitchen. Honestly, you were only half listening as you stirred the pot of sauce, nodding at whatever came out of his mouth due to yourself being anxious.

“So then Omi-kun was all like ‘you’re so lame. my serves are better.’”

“Mhm,” 

“And obviously I was upset because Shoyo distracted me from that last serve and messed up my groove,”

“Yeah..”

“But then I read somewhere on the internet that teasing is flirting? Kinda like little boy pulling little girls hair to get her attention. Do you think he-”

“I’m pregnant.”

You finally turn to him with a worried look plastered all over your face, leaving the wooden spoon in the pot. Atsumu’s eyes widened as he gasped and looked at your stomach, “You’re gonna get fat..” he whispered. 

You creased your eyebrows as he quickly waved his hands, “I mean, wow.” he looked at you and grinned, “Yer having a baby! Samu’s gonna be a dad,” he then let out another gasp in realization, “I’m gonna be an uncle! Oh my gosh, (y/n)!” he hugged you as you chuckled and held him, finally happy that you told someone. 

“Yeah, I’m really excited about it.”

“How did my brother take it?” he asked as he pulled back, his hands on your arms. 

You looked sideways and furrowed your brows. “I just confirmed it last night, I haven’t told him yet but I’m planning to do so today, but I’m worried because it all depends on-” 

“The meeting,” his eyes widened in realization. “That’s today. Oh, (y/n) it does all depend on that. But don’t worry-!” he said as soon as he saw your face panic. “He’s a respected businessman as well as a smart one,” his phone dinged on the counter as he picked it up. “I’m sure he’ll be fine- oh my god he didn’t get it.” his face went pale as he looked at his phone. 

“What?!” you shouted. 

“Kita sent me a text, he’s with Aran, they saw him in his restaurant and Samu told them.” 

“No, no, no, you have to put him in a good mood now!” you waved your hands up and down. 

“(y/n) he didn’t get his branch, is that what you’re-” 

“Listen to me, blondie-” you grabbed his collar and pulled him down to your level.

“That is close..” he managed to let out of his throat. 

“My raging hormones cannot take this secret any longer and they certainly cannot take an angry and depressed husband. Maybe tomorrow, but not today! There is another human being growing inside of me so you will tell farmer boy and his friend to take him out for food or so help me my baby and I will burn the rice fields as well as all your volleyballs.” you pointed to your stomach. 

Atsumu looked at you as he swallowed, gently wrapping his finger around your wrist to remove himself “Okay..” his whispered terrified as he took his phone out.

A couple of miles out Kita’s phone rang as Aran comforted Osamu. His eyes widened and looked to both of them, “Aran, can I speak to you please.” 

“Sure,” he patted Osamu on the back as he held his head down on his counter. 

The pair walked into the kitchen and Kita lowered his voice, “(y/n) is pregnant.”

“WHAT?!” he yelled out. Osamu lifted his head from the counter before deciding not to care after 0.5 seconds. 

“Osamu-kun does not know, we need to get him in a good mood before he gets home. Atsumu made it very clear that she has to tell him today.”  he showed Aran his phone.

“Yeesh, he really did.” Aran squinted his eyes. 

“Let’s go.” Kita gestured outside. “Osamu-kun why don’t we get some drinks before dinner, hm?” 

“Yeah, I’ll treat!” Aran smiled. 

“Mmrghhh…” he groaned. 

“Great. Aran, carry him, let’s go to the nearest izakaya.” Kita walked out of the restaurant, making sure to lock up.

--

“Okay, they’ve gone out.” Atsumu looked at her. 

You sighed thankfully and nodded “Thanks, I’m going to take a bath now before the dinner.” 

“Sure, the others are gonna arrive soon but take your time,” he added and she went upstairs to her room. Another notification rang, it was from Kita.

‘I hope she has a plan on how to tell him. Osamu-kun does not react nicely to change. Remember when they stopped selling the salmon onigiri in the convenience store near the school? He wasn’t in top form for about a month.’

Atsumu grumbled and put the phone down. He picked up the wooden spoon that (y/n) had left. Forty-five minutes later the door opened and Atsumu tensed up. He ran to the door as he tried to untie the apron 

“Who’s there?!” 

“Us!” Hinata grinned. Behind him was Bokuto and Sakusa. 

“Oh thank god, it’s just you guys” Atsumu sighed.

“Uh yeah, it’s us. Nice to see you too, Mary Poppins.” Sakusa eyed him up and down. 

“Oh shaddup, you try cooking for a dinner of twelve by yourself!” he shot back, tying the apron around his waist again. 

“Yourself? Where’s (y/n)-chan and Myaa-sam?” Bokuto asked.

 Atsumu sighed, “(y/n) is up taking a bath and Samu’s out with Kita and A-” 

“I’m home!” someone sang out as the door opened. Atsumu’s face paled. Osamu stumbled in his front door his Kita and Aran following him behind. 

“You got him drunk?!” Atsumu yelled at his upperclassmen. 

“I didn’t think he would! He had one sip and he just went like that!” Aran defended, he then lowered his voice “It probably added up the cause of you know what.” 

“Okay, I’ll deal with you later,” he put his hand up and went to Osamu who now stood still, crossing his arms. “Samu, someone is about to tell you very important news that will affect you for the rest of your life, so for once I need you to-” 

“Yeah I didn’t get the branch!” he yelled out. “I don’t care anymore! I don’t want anything to change anymore! I’m fine with the Hyogo branch, I don’t need anything else. In fact, the last thing I need is more stress for the rest of the year,”

 Atsumu’s anxiety went up has his brother yelled in the room. “Tsumu I’m tired, I just wanna go on a vacation and relax. The shop is fine, I can just take a trip to Okinawa or Hokkaido, just relax for the rest of my life with no responsibilities…”

 “If that’s how you feel then I don’t need you to take care of this baby!” 

The boys looked up to see (y/n) up in the stairwell, clearly mad. Bokuto let out a loud gasp, but no one seemed to scold him as they were all in shock. Osamu face turned into one that no one could read. 

“What?” he cocked his head. 

“If you want to be sad and mope around because you lost one branch then fine, I can do this on my own!” You yelled as you pointed to your stomach and walked down to the foot of the stair case. 

He looked down there for a moment before realization hit his face, “You’re pregnant…?” he asked softly. 

“Yes.” you stated firmly, “And if you’re not going to be here then I can do this myself! I’ve taken care of toddlers as a teacher and I can do it again!” Osamu slowly walked towards (y/n) as her eyes welled up in frustration. Atsumu’s anxiety rose up again. “Well?” you asked tightening your fists. 

“That’s the greatest news I’ve ever heard.” he looked at her with the most sincere eyes. 

Your expression softened a bit “Really?” 

“You tell me I don’t get another branch and yeah its frustrating, but telling me that I’m actually going to have a kid, a human mix of you and me?” his face looked worried but his emotions were sincere. “That would’ve made me a thousand times happier than claiming some branch.” Tears finally welled up in your eyes as he smiled at you, his eyes watering up as well as he held you tightly. 

The applause was around the room as they congratulated the couple, and though Atsumu felt like he lost a couple of years due to the afternoon, he couldn’t be happier as he hugged the parents of his nephew and/or niece.

#miya osamu #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #hq!!! #hq!! #haikyu #osamu #osamu miya #osamu miya x reader #miya osamu x reader #osamu miya imagine #miya osamu imagine #miya atsumu #atsumu miya #haikyuu!!

[venomous--fics]

Kasady

Summary: You're Cletus Kasady's younger sister, but you've never told anyone. Now his name is everywhere in the news and everyone wants your side of the story.

Warnings: Mentions of past abuse, panic attacks, swearing

Mood music: Lover is a Day- Cuco

A/n: Aaaaye, sorry if this is a dumb idea. I just haven't seen anyone write this type of story? If someone has, anyone wanna link me a fic? Feedback is appreciated and requests are open! My queue is filled with the last batch I got, so expect those soon!

You almost dreaded leaving the apartment anymore. All you saw was his big, stupid, ugly face everywhere. Oh, he did that, oh, he did this, let's remind everyone that he's a monster in prison! Oh, but there's a plot twist; You hated it because you were, unfortunately, related to the guy. Nobody outside your adoptive parents knew. 

You didn't like talking about, you didn't even like thinking about it. You had to put up with so much shit because of that guy. You were grateful that you were young enough that nobody knows or remembers what you look like now. You even changed your last name a few times. First, you changed it to Smith when your parents adopted you, then you changed it to Brock when you got married to Eddie.

It shouldn't bother you, you're a Brock, not a Kasady. However, you couldn't help but feel like that was just your identity. Once a Kasady, always a Kasady. You felt even worse because Eddie had taken up on the Kasady story as a huge part of his new job. 

You were proud of him for finally getting back to what he loved, but sooner or later his trail would come back to you. What were you supposed to tell him? It felt like the walls were closing in on you, and that there was an anchor slowing crushing you. You had to remind yourself to just take it all in one breath at a time. This is just some fad, some story. It'll all go away.

What if it doesn't?

Your head was spinning and you closed your eyes as you sat on your bed. Everything was so quiet, and even that was alarming.

"Babe? We're home!" Eddie voice rang through the apartment.

You sucked in a breath and hopped up and out of the room, "How was work?"

You just wanted to forget about it. 

"Eh, you know." he smiled as he hung his jacket up, "Same shit."

Venom appeared, looking a bit annoyed, "Easy for you to say."

"What's got you in a sour mood, big guy?" you asked, walking over and giving Venom a small kiss before turning to Eddie and giving him a kiss as well.

Venom hesitated for a moment, mostly out of embarrassment, "Well, nothing now, but some guy called us a dick."

"That wasn't very nice of them." you replied, "How about I make some dinner? I was thinking chicken nuggets or- Uh, chicken nuggets."

Eddie looked at Venom, "That's a tough choice. I guess chicken nuggets it is." You preheated the oven, "Why don't you two go get into something a little comfier?"

"Already ahead of you," Eddie said as he walked to the bedroom. 

There was barely any noise for a couple minutes before Eddie said, "So, you know that story I'm working on?"

"Of course," you said, feeling the anxiety building back up. 

"Well, I," he paused, you assumed he was putting a shirt on, "I've reached a dead end with it."

"Oh?" 

"Yeah, I was talking to Cletus- Red- Whatever the hell they're gonna call him.. And he was asking me if he knew anything about his sister." Eddie stumbled out of the room as he pulled up his sweatpants, "I mean, everyone was talking about that, but I figured it was a bunch of bs."

"Oh." you repeated.

"so, I spent a majority of my day trying to find any information on this poor woman- And it's almost like he just fell off the grid."

"Well," you awkwardly chuckled as you got the bag of frozen nuggets out of the freezer, "I guess when a serial killer is your family, you'd want to disappear too, right?"

"I suppose," Eddie said.

Venom, meaning no harm, but just wanting to be part of the conversation, "Maybe he killed her, Eddie. People said that too. Maybe that's why we can't find her."

Out of habit, you put your hand over a scar you had on your arm as a lump form in your throat. It wasn't a nasty scar by any means, it was barely noticeably at this point. It was just a constant reminder. 

You had lied to Eddie and told you that a biker had clipped you one day when you were coming home from work, but that was far from the truth. You wish it had been an innocent accident like that. The reality of it was that, before you and Cletus were removed from your home, he had attempted to, as he put it, saw your arm off. 

Lucky for you, and being the world's biggest crybaby, again, as he would've put it, your mother had heard you screaming. Of course, she always wanted to think that Cletus would just grow out of all of this horrid stuff. You always thought if she had changed her mind, maybe she'd still be alive.

Sometimes you wished Cletus had actually killed you too, it would've been less painful than everything else you had to go through. Growing up, with Cletus always on the news for the shit he'd done, and every thing inbetween, you were slightly grateful that people would make up the rumours that you were dead. Maybe then they'd leave you alone. 

You put yourself on autopilot, taking a trip down trauma lane as you put everything into the oven and set a timer. 

Cletus wasn't always outwardly violent, but that doesn't mean he was kind. He would always pick on you, or tell you that nobody even wanted you. He'd always take your things and ruin them, whether it be lighting them on fire or just cutting them up. 

You were so young, and you tried to believe that maybe older siblings were just like that. Maybe it was normal for them to try to leave you to die in the woods, or maybe it was normal when he'd 'jokingly' push you towards oncoming traffic. You had a lot to unlearn when you got adopted. You never wanted to be around other kids, and you barely spoke, even when you had gone to therapy. Sometimes you'd get angry at nothing and beat up pillows, and no matter what, your adoptive parents also responded with love and understanding.

You never had to deal with siblings again. Your adoptive parents are the only souls, outside the social workers, who ever knew what had gone on with your birth family. you were thankful for that.

The cycle still repeats it self, however. Some days you feel fine, you don't find yourself thinking about it, but then one little thing comes barging in and ruins it all. 

You had completely lost yourself in a memory, and not a good one. You could hear your heart beating in your ear, and you must've been staring off into space.  

The basement was dimly lit, and you remember your dad said he would replace the bulb, but he always forgot. You were stuck to a chair, and you couldn't stop whimpering. 

"You're such a crybaby." 

Cletus came into view with a roll of duct tape. He fiddled with it, trying to get it undone. You shut your eyes and tried to keep quiet. Maybe if you were quiet, he'd let you go.

He finally got a piece cut and he was going to put it over your mouth, but you kept shaking your head, calling out for you mom. You were even kicking at Cletus, which just seemed to annoy him more. 

"Stop it! Stop! Go away! Go away, Cletus!" 

There was something inside Cletus that just made him hate everyone around him. He had no regard for any other form of life. He didn't even feel bad about what he had planned to do to you. In fact, he had blamed you for it, he kept telling you that if you weren't so annoying, or if you were never even born, he wouldn't have to do this.

Finally getting fed up with your struggling, he grabbed your face and put the duct tape over your mouth. This made your crying worse. You could heard footsteps from the floor above you, and you were praying that whoever was up there heard you and was coming to your rescue.

Cletus proceeded to duct tape your arm down to the arm of the chair, making extra sure that it hurt. You were no more than five years old, and you were already telling yourself that this was how you were going to die. 

"You know that old bat can't hear you, stupid." Cletus spat as he turned away to get something.

That's when you remembered where you were. You were at your grandma's house for the weekend. You two would get left here every so often, normally when your parents had errands to run. This time, mom and dad weren't coming back. You were stuck here. 

You were thinking about all the small details of her house now, to distract yourself from what was about to happen.

Mary Poppins. Your grandmother had an odd obsession with her. She had all this little figurines that she decorated her house with. You were never sure why she liked Mary Poppins so much, but you found it endearing. 

She would always hum the songs when she was baking. 

A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

You could practically hear her humming along.

Thats when Cletus turned back around and you saw the shimmer of the knife he had. You tried to just think of anything else, but nothing was working now. Everything was so quiet and the only noise was the sligh thum of the old light bulb.

"If you were never born, this wouldn't be happening," he sneered at you as he pushed the knife down onto your arm, "This is your fault."

He kept talking, and you wanted to keep crying, but you found everything so stressful that you were feeling tired. You didn't even have the strength to pay any mind to the burning pain in your arm. It was almost like you'd given up. 

Then you heard her voice. It was calling out for both you and Cletus. It was getting louder, Cletus huffed and dropped the knife on the floor. 

"One noise out of you and I'll make you suffer." he cackled a little bit, "Doesn't really matter, I was going to make you suffer anyways." 

You watched hazily as Cletus made his way up the stairs. You tried to wiggle out of the duct tape restraints, but it caused too much pain, so you gave up. The voices were getting more and more muffled. Cletus was leading her away from the basement. 

You wanted to go home. You wanted to be anywhere but here. You felt more tears welling up in your poor little eyes, and you closed them tightly. Just make it go away. It'll go away.

You remember hearing a lot of noise from upstairs. It sounded like things getting broken, and then several big thuds. You closed your eyes tighter. It grew quiet again. 

You heard the basement creak open, and you heard the soft whimpers of the family pet, Fifi. You loved Fifi. She was a good dog. Cletus came down the stairs, holding the dog by the collar, and you watched as Fifi wriggled and yipped as she tried to get free. 

You were tried to scream at him, but the duct tape muffled any noise that came out of your mouth. Cletus retrieved the knife and dragged the dog back a few steps. You wanted to look away. You didn't want to watch. You were frozen in terror as Cletus held the dog down and lifted the knife.

He was grinning so sadistically. 

You felt something warm wrap around you and you jumped ten feet in the air, pushing them away and yelling, "Don't touch me! Just stay back!" 

Eddie flinched and held his hands up as he took a step back, "Sorry! Sorry! Didn't mean to scare you." 

You tried to catch your breath as you stared at him. You looked like you'd just seen a ghost. Eddie looked a little startled as he lowered his hands and slowly walked over to you, "Are you okay?"

You took another step back as you tried to calm your nerves, "Yeah, I- No- Yes, I'm.. I'm fine. Sorry for- I." 

"Why don't we go sit down for a second.. You look like you're about to pass out." What do you do? What do you say? 

"Did I cause this?" Eddie sounded a little hurt, thinking that he'd unintentionally caused you any harm, "Baby, I'm so sorry." 

"It wasn't you. I just.." you needed to just think of some excuse, "The whole Kas- Cletus thing is just.. Stressful." 

Eddie gently put a hand on your lower back and you flinched again, causing him to move it. 

"I just mean," you sighed a little, "I see it everywhere. It's- I- Nevermind." 

You were fighting with yourself. You were going to say it.

"It's alright. We don't have to talk about it anymore." He sounded so sincere, "And it'll all go away after-"

"That's just it," you wrapped your arms around yourself as you tried so hard to fight those stupid crybaby tears back, "It won't go away."

Despite your best efforts, the tears came running down your face, and Eddie went to wipe your face, but you flinched away and ran into your bedroom. You slammed the door a little too hard behind you, repeating, "It just won't go away." "Y/n," Eddie said, slightly confused as he walked over to the door. He couldn't open the door because you were sitting in front of it, and he could hear you crying. "Baby?"

He crouched down and sat down on the floor. He didn't understand what was going on, and Venom sure as hell didn't know either. They wanted to ask what was wrong, but maybe you'd tell them on your own. 

"Sorry," you said between sniffles. 

"It's okay." Eddie replied, leaning against the door, "What's going on?" You took in a few deep breaths before wiping your face, "It's a long story." Eddie, being a smartass, leaned forward a little to get a peek at the oven timer, "We have time."

You chuckled a little because you heard the door creak with his movement. Eddie chuckled too as he leaned back into his original position. Venom poked out of Eddie's arm and looked at the door for a moment before looking at Eddie, who just nodded a little. The little symbiote wrapped around Eddie's arm and got comfortable as you started talking.

"There-" you shivered a little, "Eddie, there's a good reason why nobody can find Cletus' sister."

Eddie looked at the door, intrigued. Did you know her somehow? Maybe through work? Were you helping her hide somewhere?

"And why's that?" 

"Because, I-" you wiped your eyes again, trying to not burst into tears, "I'm Y/n Kasady." 

Eddie tensed a little as he continued to stare at the door. "You're Y/n Kasady?" 

You hesitated, "Unfortunately, but I mean, legally, I'm not really a Kasady anymore...Obviously." 

Eddie looked down to the floor, taking it all in. Everything made sense now. "How come you never mentioned it?" 

"You think I wanna talk about it?" you didn't mean to come off as bitter, "I just- I hated it. I hated everything to do with that name..Nothing good comes from being a Kasady."

"Nothing good comes from bein' a Brock either." 

"Eddie." you whined.

"Sorry, sorry. I'll try to save the jokes for later." 

"I just never wanted to talk about it." you continued, "Besides, what the hell would I even tell people? You think reporters want to hear a five year old talk about the most horrendous shit?"

"You were five?" Eddie's voice sounded so hoarse. He didn't knowing anything about the elusive Kasady sibling. The fact that it was you,and you were only five made everything worse. 

You couldn't seem to stop yourself, "Cletus was a monster. He killed our grandma- He- He.. Oh god, he tortured the dog while I was duct taped to a chair. Not to mention that he tried to cut my arm off right before all of that- Yeah, that scar? It wasn't from some stupid biker."

"Jesus," Eddie sounded mortified, "I'm..Sorry." 

"To make matters worse, I almost got lost in the system because he burned down the orphanage we were both at." you paused, remembering that day, "With everyone but us inside of it." 

Venom wasn't going to say it, but he felt a little mortified. He had never met a human who was capable of those awful things. 

"They had to separate us, because they thought it would stop him from acting out. That didn't work. Cletus just-" your rant broke off into another fit of helpless sobs, "He ruins everything he touches. I know It's been decades since all of that. I haven't seen him since I was five, but I still live in constant fear-" "He can't hurt you-" 

"What if he breaks out of prison again? What then?" you sounded very panicked, "I have always been on edge. Cletus is a smart man, Eddie- It wouldn't take much to figure out where I am- Or my parents.. Or-"

"Hey, hey," Eddie said softly, "That's not gonna happen. You wanna know why?" "Why?' you croaked, slouching against the door. 

"Because we won't let it." 

You did feel safer since Eddie and venom came into your life. You also knew that they'd rather die then to let anyone hurt you. Cletus was nothing but madman, and it wouldn't take Venom very long to put an end to him. "We love you." Venom said.

You slowly turned to sit on your knees as you opened the door. You looked at Eddie and venom with a weak smile, and Eddie held out his arms, "Come here." You crawled into his arms, and Eddie held you close to him, "I'm sorry you went through that, but I promise you that nothing will ever hurt you again." 

Venom untangled himself from Eddie's arm and wrapped around yours, "We will eat whatever tried to hurt you." 

You curled up closer to him, feeling a lot better, "I know you will...Sorry for being a crybaby."

"Don't need to apologize." Eddie said sweetly, "If it makes you feel better, I can make something up for the story. Just to get it over with." 

"You'd lose your job if they found out that you lied."

Eddie shrugged, "Plenty of other jobs in the world, love." 

"It's okay," you said, "I think, maybe, I..If it's you, I can talk about it. I'm just afraid of how people will see me after. They'll probably think that I'm just like him." 

Eddie rubbed your back softly, "Nobody will think that." 

"Who cares what a bunch of losers think anyways?" Venom looked up at you with all the love he could muster, "We think you are wonderful."  

"You guys are pretty wonderful too." you replied, smiling at them. 

You gave Venom a kiss before you cupped Eddie's face and gave him one as well. Everything felt okay again, and this time you knew they'd remain that way. A startling beep rang through the apartment and you all jumped a little. You then began chuckling as Eddie helped you up. It was just the oven. 

"You okay?" Eddie asked as he watched you get the food out of the oven. He saw you differently now. Not in a bad way, but in a good way. He know understood everything he needed to know, and he knew that you were doing everything in you power to get better. He was proud of you. 

"Yeah, actually." you said, "I guess talking about it really does help.. I was just afraid that maybe," you laughed a little, "Maybe you'd want a divorce, because who wants an infamous serial killer as an in-law?" 

Eddie, seeing the opportunity to lighten the mood with a joke, said, "A what as a what now? I thought you were an only child." 

You looked at him with the softest expression, "Thanks." 

He smiled as he came over and wrapped his arms around your waist, "Don't worry about it." 

You wanted to stay like this forever. Unfortunately, the moment was ruined when Eddie went to grab a nugget right off the tray and yelped as it burned him. "They just got done." you said, trying not to laugh, "You watched me pull them out." 

He went over to the sink and ran his hand under some cold water, "Yeah, but..Why are they still so hot?" 

"Eddie," you laughed, "They just came out of a piping hot oven." 

You got a couple of plates out of the cupboard as Eddie dried his hands. You were putting them on the kitchen island as you saw him go for another nugget out of the corner of your eye. Sometimes its good that not everything changes.

#eddie brock imagine #eddie brock x reader #venom imagine #venom x reader #marvel imagine #marvel x reader

[ncisladaily]

After 11 seasons on NCIS: LA, Renee Felice Smith said goodbye to the CBS procedural on Sunday's finale, which also marked co-star Barrett Foa's final episode.

All episode long, Smith's Nell grappled with the idea of permanently taking over Hetty's position as operations manager, a job she's unofficially held for much of the season. And when it came time to make a final decision about her future at NCIS, she chose to take a risk: Relocate to Tokyo with Foa's Eric and head up a new office there.

"The door will always remain open for Nell at NCIS, but right now, it's time for Nell to really explore her next adventure," Smith told ET of her goodbye. "Nell is a smart girl and she's chosen stability for a good long time because it was the smart choice. But now she's really questioning what she wants. And I commend her for being brave enough to even consider that line of questioning."

"It's truly difficult when you work with people you love who have become your family, who become so much more than your co-workers. A lot like me and our fabulous crew at NCIS Los Angeles," she said. "I do commend Nell for stepping into her power and really making a decision to serve herself rather than people-please and to serve others. It's quite commendable."

With NCIS: LA gearing up for season 13 this fall, Smith opened up about leaving the series after more than a decade as Nell, how she thinks her character will fare post-NCIS and her future career plans.

ET: Were you aware at the start of this season that this would be it for you? What were those conversations like that you had with the producers?

Renee Felice Smith: More than anything else, it's about telling the story and throughout this season, we got to watch Nell really grow in terms of her abilities as a leader. The focus is really character growth and Nell, a lot like myself, was ready for something else. I think that it's hopeful. It's a hopeful parting for Nell. That's how I think of it.

For most of the episode, Nell's grappling with whether to take Hetty's job permanently and whether she wants the office. How do you think she would have fared if she did decide, "Yeah, maybe I am ready to have the title and step into those footsteps officially"?

I don't think Nell was ready for that sort of responsibility. She understands the gravity of committing to a position of that status. I don't think she was ready for that to be the next 40 years of her work life. Like I mentioned earlier, Nell's a smart girl. She made the smart choice for a long time. She chose the stability at NCIS: LA and within NCIS because she genuinely enjoyed the work and even more than the work, I think she enjoyed the company of her fellow teammates.

But at the end of the day, you're right. She was deeply conflicted about her line of work and the impact that it had. When someone can stand in their power and say, "You know what? This isn't for me right now, I need to go off and for lack of a better term, find my own path." That's probably one of the bravest things anyone could do. It doesn't surprise me that Nell is taking the risk; she's a risk-taker. It's exciting. There's newness on the horizon, which is very exciting.

How do you think Nell and Eric fare in Tokyo? How do you think they do working alongside each other?

The sky's the limit for now, to be honest. She's sheer potential. There's nothing more exciting than when someone says, "I'm going to see what this thing can do." That's truly what she's saying. For now, she's saying, "Respectfully, thank you for the opportunity, but I'm going to have to pass. I have to see for myself if this is what I want to do with my life." She was so young when she started at NCIS: LA, much like myself, Renee. I was fresh out of drama school. So it's time to take the leap out of the nest, and I truly believe that the best is yet to come.

One of my favorite scenes was Hetty and Nell's lovely moment together. Can you talk me through filming that scene? That must've been a satisfying bow?

You are absolutely right. It was quite emotional to have Linda [Hunt] back on set for our final day of the season. That scene was our final day of the season and she was essentially sidelined by the pandemic. To see her in the flesh, let alone share a scene with her, it was just the ultimate. Linda is a master and whenever I'm in a scene with her, I am really the student. I'm just absorbing, I'm the little sponge, I'm watching her work and it's been the greatest gift and such an incredible opportunity to play opposite Linda Hunt, Oscar winner, for the past 10 years. It really is this bittersweet reunion between Nell and Hetty. Nell wants to stay and catch up with her mentor, who she has deeply missed, but she can't because she's made her decision.

It's really this "goodbye for now" theme. Linda and I share this mutual respect for each other, and we share this really, very special friendship. I hope that shows through. It's probably my favorite [scene] of my entire career, just because it's with Linda and she's a magical creature and I drink her in. Really any time I can spend with her is just a gift.

What is the likelihood of you popping in once in a while in the next season or beyond?

Never say never, right? It all truly depends on scheduling, but never say never. The door is always open for now. I think it'll remain open, but for now, it's time for her to go about her merry way and find her next great adventure.

What will you miss about the show and being part of this family?

I am more than grateful for my time spent at NCIS: LA. It's really been a practical film school for me. I learn through observational osmosis. I'm a student, and so, the lessons that I've learned, I will for sure tuck safe inside my Mary Poppins carpet bag of tricks and employ them in the next chapter on the next job. I will miss the people. I will miss the people greatly. I've made lifelong friendships here. I essentially spent kindergarten through 11th grade with these people. When you think of it like that, it's kind of wild to think about the breadth of time, but I just want to say I'm so thankful for our audience. I'm thankful for them praising Nell, for respecting her intelligence. I've always been cast as the funny friend, but with Nell, I got to play so much more. I got to play a human who doubts and feels, who has empathy and therefore is deeply conflicted about her line of work. Someone who is multifaceted and really can see multiple sides of the story. Sure she's smart and she's strong-willed, but Nell is also compassionate and understanding. That's what makes her a great leader. Her vulnerability is her strength. I'm so grateful to have been able to play a character who can express herself in that way and that it doesn't take away from her strength. That's so valuable for young people, for all people to know and to feel and to see. I'm just going to say, thank you.

What are you excited about next?

I am a storyteller. I'm a writer, I'm a director, of course an actor, but really what I'm interested in doing is telling stories. We have a few TV projects that are in development with CBS. And we also, I say we, my creative partner, my life partner, my other half, Chris Gabriel and I, we wrote our very first children's book, Hugo and the Impossible Thing, and it was released last month by Penguin Random House. We are so excited that it's finally out in the world. As an actor, you're often carrying out someone else's idea, but as a creative person, I'm really excited for the opportunity to bring my ideas into the world into our collective reality.

What's the book about?

We wrote Hugo and the Impossible Thing as a celebration really. Once our dog, Hugo, recovered from a life-threatening illness -- it was an inoperable tumor that almost everybody told us would be impossible to beat, but he did it. Through great determination and really some truly brilliant doctors, Hugo made it to the other side of his illness. We wanted to share Hugo's story, but we knew we also needed to create a metaphor in which to do so because we're not writing a children's book about a dog with a brain tumor. We created the metaphor of the impossible thing, and it's really this labyrinth that Hugo and the forest animals have to navigate and find their way through. We hope to inspire young thinkers to reframe the word impossible. It's about questioning and overcoming the seemingly impossible, because societally, there's a tendency to label potentially challenging moments or obstacles as impossible when in reality they're just extremely difficult.

#s12 #Renee Felice Smith #interview #ncis la #ncisla #NCIS Los Angeles