#also earlier this week i saw my grandmother for the first time in a couple months and she kept talking about how thin i am now and how great

[ifortom]

Champagne Problems - T.H.

Synopsis: Tom and y/n, a couple that used to be inseparable, now face a deep crisis in their marriage. Their daughter, Olivie, 4, is in the middle of this emotional turmoil. With busy lives, differences of opinion and fragmented communication, the love that brought them together is slowly fading. After the aftermath they must face their own demons, rediscover empathy, and find a way to rebuild the relationship they once shared. Not just for themselves, but also for the well-being of their daughter, who longs for a united family.

A/N: Well here it is, this is a rollercoaster of emotions and I hope you enjoy it. An important note: English is not my first language so I hope you understand if there are any errors, be kind and let me know if necessary and I can fix it.

W/A: +5k

‘’Where’s my sweet baby pie?’’ You heard Nikki’s voice before she even opened the front door.

‘’Grandma!’’ Olivie screamed loudly when she saw her grandmother and ran straight into her open arms.

‘’Hi sweetie! I missed you.” She said hugging the little girl tightly. ‘’Everyone was waiting for you.’’ Olivie smiled and made her way inside the house without looking back.

Nikki turned to you, as you walked in the living room and smiled opening her arms just like she did with Ollie, welcoming you into a warm hug.

‘’What about you, darling? It’s been a while since I’ve seen you.’’

‘’I know, and I’m sorry for that. Work’s been so hard lately, there’s a lot going on.’’ It wasn’t a lie, the last few weeks had been a pain in your ass with so much work since you got your promotion to chief editor at the publisher you worked.

‘’Yeah, Tom told me, that’s great news though!’’

‘’Its is, I’ve waited this for such a long time. But is complicated, Ollie is growing up and I feel like I’m missing out sometimes.’’ She smiled softly at you.

‘’I get it, just try not to stress yourself, that girl needs you... and you know, your promotion wasn’t the only thing Tom talked to me about the last time he was here... what’s going on with the both of you?’’

This was a question you really didn’t want to reply and this was a conversation you didn’t want to have, especially with your husband’s mother.

‘’I guess our relationship has seen better times but we’re trying. I’m just... I can’t have this conversation right now”

‘’I see... it’s alright sweetheart. I don’t want to intrude, just want to see you happy, the both of you. And that little girl.’’

‘’Me too.’’ You smiled at her, trying to hide the forming lump on your throat. ‘’I need to go, Tom is probably already home and we need to get ready.’’

‘’Of course. I’m going to find Ollie for you to say goodbye.’’ She walked out in the direction of the back garden.

While you waited, you took your time looking around the living room you’ve seen a thousand times already. Memories spread across the walls in the form of photos. Tom’s graduation day, Paddy’s first day of kindergarten, your wedding day, their family trip to Hawaii, Olivie as a new born. Memories you’re proud to be a part of.

The sound of small feet running to you woke you up from the small daydreaming.

‘’Mummy!’’ She hugged your legs and you bent down to her level to stare into her eyes.

‘’I’m going now, ok? Remember our deal?”

‘’Yeah, to be a good girl for grandma.’’ She said happily remembering your words from earlier.

‘’That’s right! Two nights, ok? And then we’re taking you home.’’

‘’You and daddy?’’ She asked playing with a string of your hair.

‘’Yeah, mummy and daddy.” She nodded. ‘’Alright, now give mumma a hug.’’ You tighly held her for a while, taking in her baby scent, the one you loved so much. ‘’Bye, babybug.’’ She let go of you and turned around finding her grandmother standing next to the couch. ‘’Bye Nikki, thank you for taking care of her. And please, say hi to everyone.’’

‘’Always. And please, have fun. You both need that”

...

Tonight was a special night. Tom’s company is hosting a party to celebrate a new partnership with a foreign company and, of course, as the wife of one of the partners, your presence is unquestionable. You need to be there to support your husband and keep the facade of the perfect couple with the perfect family. Because no one knows what goes on behind closed doors.

You stared at yourself in the mirror. The dark red dress you chose hugs your curves in all the right places, the small slit on the leg made it a little more daring but didn't lose the classic touch. It had been a while since you dressed up for a gala event, so you decided to take advantage of the opportunity and remember your features that have been hidden for a while.

Tom entered the room wearing his elegant suit. His hair was straightened and with every step he took he exuded class, and as you watched him in the mirror's reflection, you noticed his gaze fixed on your body.

 ''Woah, you look beautiful tonight'' Was the first thing he said. Tom hadn't had the opportunity to see the dress you had chosen before this moment, so it was definitely a surprise.

''Yeah, I wanted to try something today.'' You smiled, breaking eye contact in the mirror and going to the table next to the bed, picking up the necklace you had chosen. ''Can you put it on for me?'' You walked up to him and handed the necklace into his hands, turning your back.

Tom calmly analyzed the necklace and felt his breathing hitch. There was the necklace he had given you just before Olivie was born. Your pregnancy was not easy. There were many complications during the period and the risk of something happening to you or the baby was high. To this day, he is grateful that you two made it out of the operating room safe and sound.

The small, sparkling jewel dangled from the chain, reminding him of simpler times. He knew the moment he saw it for the first time that you would love it. It was simple, but it carried enormous emotion, love and hope.

He raised his hands towards your neck and noticed that they were sweating. And you felt his warm breath on your neck and his fingers delicately ran across it, making goosebumps run down your body. How long has it been since you felt each other's touch like this? It's impossible to believe that the two young people who couldn't live without having contact with each other for a long time became like two strangers afraid to touch.

Maybe a few years ago he would have come closer, placed his hands on your waist and left a kiss next to your ear. You would have thrown your head back leaning on his shoulder and the two of you would have stayed like that for a while.

But things changed and the two of you were no longer the same couple at the beginning of a relationship as you were before. Life happened and differences emerged, thoughts changed and opinions diverged. How could things be the same as before?

Instead, Tom put space between you and scratched his throat. His hand went to the back of his head. You looked in the mirror once again.

''I'm driving today, so if you're ready we can go''

You nodded and turned to him waiting for some reaction. Whatever it was. But what you got was him turning his back and walking towards the bedroom door. Holding back the cry that wanted to leave your throat, you lifted your head and followed him. Time to play the part.

...

The path to the venue's party room was silent. In the car, Tom let the music take over the space. As you mouthed the lyrics to a random song that was playing, Tom let furtive glances find you. But you would never know it.

When you arrived, a boy went towards the car while Tom opened his door. He quickly turned around and opened your door, extending his hand to help you out. Tom thanked the boy who entered the space he previously occupied and left with the car to park it.

You held onto Tom's arm as you walked together to the entrance of the already crowded room. Taking a deep breath, a smile appeared on your face as Harrison, Tom's best friend and one of his partners, walked towards you.

''You're finally here, what happened that took you so long?'' He said suggestively, making Tom laugh.

‘’No need to pry, mate.’’ Tom replied, now wrapping his arm around your waist. ''We arrived and we are fine, thank you for asking.''

''No defensiveness, Tom. You look great tonight, Y/N.'' Harrison said.

''Thanks, H. You don't look bad either.'' Harrison smiled and spun around as if showing off his outfit. You laughed at his mannerism.

''Well, some of the investors are already here and want to meet the person responsible for the partnership with the Japanese company.''

''Don't put all this on me, you were responsible too.''

''Wait, Tom... you didn't tell me that this came from you.'' You said resting one of your hands on his chest.

''What? Didn't he tell you? It turns out that if it weren't for this guy here, things wouldn't have happened. He was the one who stayed up working for hours and hours, making it impossible for the company to refuse the agreement.'' Harrison said.

How come Tom never mentioned this? Of course you knew something big was about to happen at the company but you didn't know that Tom was working so hard on it. So every night he took a while to get home, he was at work? Was the silence that came from him caused by this?

Tom looked uncomfortable, which was strange. Why was he acting like this?

A waiter approached the three of you and held out a tray with glasses of what looked like champagne. Harrison took one, while Tom did too and handed it to you.

''Aren't you going to drink?'' Harrison asked raising an eyebrow.

''I'm driving tonight.'' His hand returned to your waist and you felt his fingers lightly caressing over the thin material of the dress. ''Let's do this. I'll be right back, okay?'' He turned to you, who in response just nodded.

''Y/N, Sophie is near the bar. She was looking forward to your arrival.'' He pointed to where his wife was talking to two women unknown to you. ''She said that only you understand her in this place.''

''I say the same about her.'' You started walking towards your friend, who, upon seeing you, completely forgot about the two strangers she was talking to.

''I'm so grateful to see you. I was already starting to panic.'' She hugged you. ''Girl, and that dress! You look wonderful.'' She said looking you up and down.

''Did you like it? I think I made the right choice.''

''Definitely. I bet Tom went crazy when he saw you like that'' She said winking. Sophie was one of the only people who knew about how troubled your relationship was, and she certainly hoped that things between you would get better.

Just like your words to Harrison, she was the only person you could count on at the moment. Ever since their relationship began, just a few months after you and Tom became official, you two had been inseparable. The two of you worked together to help the two of them when they decided to start a company. And in this world made of appearances, you remained the same.

Obviously, Tom and Harrison have other partners who are married to snobbish and difficult to deal with women. And even though their husbands only have a small portion of the company, they act as if they are in charge of everything and everyone.

That's why you two stick together. Holding each other.

''It turns out that I was also expecting a reaction but I didn't get much.'' You say dejectedly taking a sip of the drink. Her hand affectionately roams your arm.

''I'm sorry, darling. He may not have shown it but I bet he won't resist and at the end of the night we know what will happen.'' The suggestive way in which she spoke made you laugh sincerely. ''We know what you have hidden there!'' You chuckled even though you weren't sure how this night would end and if it would go that way.

''For now I don't want to think about it, let's just enjoy it, okay?'' You tell her, holding her hand and pulling her close to the bar. ''Let's order a drink!''

And while you distracted the thoughts that disturbed you with what you were experiencing at the moment, Tom followed your every move, instead of paying attention to the compliments and questions he received.

''What you're doing for the company is great, Thomas! I'm sure it will grow more every day.'' Peter's hand, one of the investors, stopped on his shoulder, pulling him back.

''Thanks, but I wouldn't be able to do any of this alone.'' He said. ''None of this would be possible without the help of everyone who works at the company. Everyone, without exception.''

''And he's still humble. You really impress me, boy'' Peter laughs, making everyone in the circle laugh too.

''If you'll excuse us, we need to talk for a second.'' Harrison interrupts and pulls Tom aside, leaving the circle of middle-aged men. ''Mate, are you okay? You seem a little distant.''

Tom stares at the ground, trying to keep himself steady. His emotions were running high, and he didn't want to show it, at least not here and now.

''Yeah, I just need to have a glass of water.'' He replied walking towards one of the waiters who was carrying what he needed. ''This conversation has stressed me out. Harrison, I didn't do it all alone. You were part of it too.''

''Tom, I know that. Just accept the compliment, you know that's what they like to do. They're just interested in the money they're going to receive from all of this.'' Harrison says, resting his hand on his friend's shoulder. ''You do not need to worry about me. After all, I didn't lie about who actually stayed up late working on this project. The merit is yours, my friend.''

‘’Thanks, mate” Tom smiled and hugged his friend.

''Let's mingle a little bit more, okay? Then we can return to the arms of our dear wives.'' After Harrison's words, Tom's eyes went looking for you again. And they found you in the same place, laughing and enjoying the night, looking freer than before. ''Speaking of which, why didn't you tell her what was going on?''

''I think I was working too much and didn't want to worry her. She just got promoted and you know how Y/N is like. Always putting the needs of others above her own.’’

''Tom, she is your wife. Not to mention she's the mother of your daughter. She needs to know about things that happen, you can't deal with everything alone.''

''I know that.'' He took a deep breath. ''But this is not the time for that, shall we continue?''

Harrison looked a little disappointed but didn't want to step on any more toes, so he just agreed and they carried on with the night.

...

''I can't believe he did that.'' Sophie said shocked. ''What an asshole.''

''Well, you can believe it.''

''He promotes you and still has the courage to challenge you? Doubting whether you will be able to complete your tasks on time?''

Since you were promoted, your boss has been making comments about your work making you doubt whether it was a good choice or not. Which doesn't make sense because the decision to promote you was his. How can he doubt your abilities now?

''It's been exhausting but I've been trying not to pay too much attention to his sarcastic comments.''

''I bet so, but I'm sure you're doing an excellent job.'' She smiled. ‘’Seriously, you shouldn't care about this asshole’’

''Whoa, who's the asshole?'' You heard Harrison's voice, and turned around to find him and Tom approaching the two of you.

''Y/N's boss is trying to make her work life hell.'' She responded as Harrison hugged her from behind. At that moment you felt jealous of her. ''Hey, want to dance?''

''Hm, one of the bosses embarrassing himself on the dance floor with his lovely wife? Is this something everyone here would like to witness?'' He pretended to think for a while before holding her hand. ''I bet they wouldn't miss this for anything.'' He dragged her to the dance floor, leaving you and Tom standing next to each other laughing.

When the laughter stopped it was strange. They were there, husband and wife embarrassed to be so close. Tom broke the ice and got closer to her, who leaned back on a table. His hands went to her waist while hers went to his chest.

''I would ask you to dance too, but I don't know if everyone here is prepared to watch this disaster.'' The playful tone in his voice made her startle. She feigned shock.

''Are you sure about that? Am I the cause of disaster? Do I need to remind you of our first dance? How many times did you step on my foot that night?'' They laughed together and for the first time in a long time, you felt close to him. Almost complete. He was there, and he was yours. ‘’Tommy...’’

His heart missed a beat when he heard the nickname. Your hands went around his neck, your face slowly approaching his.

‘’Yeah, darling, I’m here.’’

''I really miss you.'' You say placing your head on his chest. ''I'm tired.''

''Do you want to go home?'' He asked, stroking your back.

''Are you sure? It's your party. I can go alone if you want. I'm not that drunk, I'm just really tired.'' Your voice was muffled but he could hear it.

''It doesn't matter, I won't let you go alone. I just need to say goodbye to some people, okay? And talk to Haz.'' He said, making you look at him.

''Okay, I'm going to the bathroom.'' He nodded and let you go. Watching your path before following his.

In the bathroom, you looked at yourself in the mirror and noticed how flushed you were. Not knowing if it was caused by the drinking or the closeness you were with your own husband.

You entered one of the stalls just as two women entered the bathroom.

''Did you see them today?" One of them said. ‘’They look so hot.’’

''Yeah, it's a shame they had those two clinging to their arms all night.'' The second voice said, Ava, you recognized it. She was Tom and Harrison's assistant at the company. The person everyone has to deal with directly before they can exchange a word with either of them. Normally, she is the one who decides which issue is extremely important and needs to reach them or not.

''Did you see Y/N tonight? I never imagined she could dress so well''.

''It was definitely just for the show.'' Ava replied and you held your breath in fear that they would realize that there was someone else in the same room as them. ''At least she looks pretty today.''

''And how do you feel about that?'' The girl asked cautiously.

''What do you mean by that, Izzy? Do you think I'm afraid of her?'' Ava mocked. ''You don't even know the half of it.''

''It's his wife.'' The second girl, Izzy, clarified.

''Do you want to know? Tom and I have become very close these last few weeks. Late one night, while we were at the office, he opened up to me. He was very honest saying that their marriage is not going well. Made it seem like he was tired of her or something.'' She said. ''What they did today was just to keep up appearances. I know what he really wants.''

''You mean he wants you?'' Izzy said and you felt your heart stop waiting for the answer.

''It's not that, I mean, we had a moment. This week, he was in the middle of a meeting when his daughter's daycare center called. Something about her fighting with a colleague over a pen, childish stuff, you know? I needed to act and since my name was on the list of people who could pick her up, I went.'' You felt dizzy upon hearing the information. How had Tom not told you this? ''I think he was extremely grateful, we hugged and well, we almost kissed.''

Everything was getting blurry, you couldn't believe he would do something like that.

''It didn't happen, so I don't want to say he wants me, but maybe he wants to get rid of her.'' She finished. ''Anyway, I wouldn't have a relationship with him. A daughter and an ex-wife? It is not for me. But that's it, looking doesn't take away anything.''

They left the bathroom still gossiping, but you couldn't hear anything else. How could he have done this? Not just exposing your relationship to a stranger and almost kissing her but hiding something about your own daughter? Trying to remember a moment that may have been abnormal, you remembered two weeks ago, when Tom called you informing you that he was already at home with Ollie earlier and that you didn't need to pick her up. This was unusual, and never happened unless you agreed beforehand.

Something happened at her school, little Olivie got into trouble and you didn't know about it. You couldn't discipline your own daughter because your husband decided to hide it from you.

After the shock, some things started to make sense and well, your husband almost kissed another woman. There's a lot going on and you're not in a good place to think about it. Your only goal now is to go home.

Leaving the cabin, you looked in the mirror and finally noticed the tears running down your face.

You quickly wiped your face and left the bathroom, encountering who you wanted to avoid. He was there, near the door, talking to the two women who had just exposed the biggest nonsense that Tom Holland could have done in his life. His eyes met yours and he was distracted, confused by your expression, soon the women also noticed that you left the bathroom right behind them.

And they knew what they had done. They said goodbye to Tom without looking back. He walked up to you and cupped your face with his hand.

''Y/N what happened?'' He said worriedly, you grabbed his wrists, removing his hands from your face.

''I'm going home.'' Was the only thing you said before walking past him towards the exit. Without looking at anyone, not even Sophie.

When you finally left the salon, the same boy from earlier was standing in front of the familiar car, waiting for the owner. He spotted Tom, who was behind you and handed him the keys.

He thanked the boy and stopped in front of you.

''Let's go, and we'll talk about what's going on.'' He held your hand only for you to make him let go right away.

''I'm not going with you''

''What? Y/N, get in the car.''

You shook your head and the tears came back. Soon your face was covered and you couldn't control it.

''No. How could you... how could you do this to me?" Your voice was increasing and Tom started looking around frantically.

''Y/N, baby, please. Let's go home.’’ Your hands went to your face, hiding it, embarrassed by this whole situation.

''You're hurting me so much, Tommy.'' Carefully he approached you and hugged you. And you allowed it. Because you are tired, tired of fighting, of holding this relationship alone, of holding a family alone.

Tom managed to guide you to the car and just like on the way there, the return was filled with silence. The only thing that could be heard this time was the sound of your sniffing.

When you arrived home, you were the first to get out of the car without looking back. Tom hadn't even parked properly and you were already outside. Sobriety overshadowed any drink you had this evening. With difficulty you found the keys to the front door inside your bag.

Finally inside the house, you took off your heels, leaving them at the entrance and made your way to the living room. You can hear Tom closing the door and walking right behind you.

''Can you tell me what happened to Ollie at school?'' You turned to him. ''Or are you going to keep hiding this from me?''

And so, Tom understood. He finally understood what had happened. You knew everything.

''She had a fight with a friend. Apparently, he took something from her and she tried to resolve it by pushing the child.'' Tom said as he ran his hands through his hair, messing it up. ''The child was not hurt and the parents understood that it was just a silly disagreement between the children. But the school called me to talk about her behavior.''

''They just called you, or called us both?’’

''Both of us.'' He said knowing where this was going. Your face contorted into an expression of pain.

''Do you know how that makes me feel, Tom? My daughter behaved badly and you omitted me to be responsible for it. She's not just yours, Tom. I need to know these things. What does this teach her? That it's ok if she hides certain things from me, because you did the same? And when she decides to do this with both of us? That hiding things is better?''

''I know I made a mistake, Y/N but I didn't want to burden you. I know the work has been difficult. Hell, you said that to Sophie today.'' He said trying to defend himself. ''I'm sorry for hiding it from you, but I did it thinking about saving you some worry.''

''Thomas, she's my daughter too. I need to know what happens to her. God, Tom, she's 4 years old.'' You try to reason with him, who just sits on the couch. ''I know that's not the whole reason you kept this from me.''

And when he looks up, you find him with eyes full of tears ready to collapse.

''I heard Ava's conversation in the bathroom, that's how I found out. I know she went to pick up Olivie that day. And for the record, I know she's your secretary but I want her off the list of people who can pick up Ollie.'' You say, moving away from him. ''I know what happened next. Between you two.''

Tom quickly stood up in front of you, his eyes begging you to accept whatever he was going to say.

''I don't know what she said, but you need to believe me when I tell you that nothing happened between us. I could never do that to you Y/N, you need to know that.'' And to his surprise you smiled softly. ''From the first moment you came into my life, I knew I would never need anyone again, no matter what.''

''Tom, what happened to us? When and why did we grow so far apart? Isn't this what we wanted, our family?''

''I know I've been distant but Y/N... things really aren't easy. We almost lost... we almost lost the company. Our accounts weren't good, there was a month when I thought we wouldn't be able to pay the employees. Me and Haz were desperate.'' He turned around as if he was embarrassed. ''We almost lost our investors. That's why I had to work twice as hard. So I spent a few nights away from home. In the midst of all this, all I could think about was the two of you. I needed to protect you no matter what.''

Your face softened upon hearing his outburst.

''It's been 10 years since we started this project and look at everything we've built. I had to do something. I know you work and believe me, you are the best at what you do, and your boss is just another asshole in this world who thinks he is better than others, but wouldn't be able to do half as much as you.’’

His face, like yours, was already full of tears.

''I'm sorry, I just couldn't let it all end like this. So, I did everything I could to rebuild what we have.'' He finished, approaching you once again, carefully his hands cupped your face. ''I'm sorry, my intention was never to hurt you. I would never do that.''

Without thinking twice, your lips pressed against his. You hadn’t felt them in a while. Your hands went to his hair while his went to your waist, pulling you as close as possible. As you deepened the kiss, Tom's hands ran down your back. His lips trailed down to your neck and collarbone, leaving open-mouthed kisses along the way.

Your hands found the jacket he still wore, removing it.

''Y/N, I don't want to... are you sure?'' He said with a hitched breath as you left small kisses on his lips. It had been so long since you had truly felt him.

''Yes I'm sure. I miss you so much, Tom, please.'' You said as you stared at him firmly.

He guided you to your room and as always, you let him, trusting him as you always did. And that night, Tom made you feel what you hadn't felt in a while, closeness to him. The care he always had, the affection. Skin on skin, sweat, short and mixed breaths.

...

On Sunday, two nights later, in the morning Tom told Nikki that you would be there for lunch and she could barely contain her happiness at hearing the news. Somehow she managed to notice the difference in her son's tone of voice and knew that things were working out.

Of course, you talked afterwards, for a long time, and agreed that you wouldn't hide anything from each other, especially issues related to Olivie. And you would always be there to listen to each other in any difficulty that may arise. That's what you promised when you exchanged rings and it would remain that way for a long time.

''Mumma, daddy!'' Olivie's excited voice was the first thing you heard when you arrived in the back garden of the Holland family house.

''Hi, baby!'' You said as Tom picked Ollie up. ''Did you have fun with grandma and grandpa?''

''Yeah, we made cookies.'' She said excitedly.

''I hope you left one for me.'' Tom said making the little girl laugh.

''I ate them all.'' She said jokingly. ''Sorry dad.'' Tom opened his mouth pretending to be shocked and you laughed at their mannerism.

This was what you missed, moments of joy and togetherness, happiness and love.

______________________________________________________________

Hope you liked it!

#tom holland x y/n #tom holland angst #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x you #ceo!tom #dad!tom holland #tom holland au #mom!reader #tom holland imagines

[pondering-peach]

#7169A9- [Hazey Blue]

◇

A short story in which two guys smoke weed homoerotically

◇

Suguro Ryuji had few secrets. He wore glasses. Romance is his favorite genre. He smoked weed. A lot. It started at the end of his 3rd year of junior high, as a way to cope with his migraines. It turned into a habit, and suddenly it was a daily part of his life. Not even Shima and Koneko knew he did it. His roommate did of course, they even smoked together sometimes, but everyone else? Absolutely not. He'd rather shoot himself in the leg.

His favorite time to indulge was early in the morning, just before his run, and late at night when the world is asleep and really he should be too, but he could always blame the bags under his eyes as staying up late to study.

The scent of it hung in the air, muted by the pungent insence he kept burning most hours of the day. For the first time in hours, Bon's eyes slipped shut and his shoulders relaxed. A deep breath filled his lungs with smoke, harsh and tasting of sandalwood, and was exhaled with a soft 'Om Mani Padme Hum' in a whispered voice.

Peace washed over him, and he felt the lines fall from his face, the tension from his jaw and back, the stress from his blood. The window was open and he could hear the nightlife outside. He also could hear-

Oh no. Oh no.

With a garbled yelp, Ruji surged forward off his bed, stamping out the roach he had been enjoying and fanning the smoke out the window. A familiar set of running footsteps approached his door, and he scrambled to hide the small box containing his damning evidence, praying that the incense would hide the smell of his not-exactly-permissable actions.

Rin knocked on Ryuji's door excitedly as he always did, and he took a deep breath to calm his nerves, smoothed his shirt with clammy hands, and opened it.

Rins nose immediately wrinkled in distaste. "Dude I thought we talked about always burning incense. It cant be good for you."

"What do you want, Rin?" His voice came out harsher than he had meant it to, and he could see it on Rin's face. Clearing his throat, he straightened up. "I meant what brings you here so late at night?"

A grin split the nephilims face, and he held up a manga in front of his face, sparkling eyes peeking over the top. It was the newest edition in a series he had shown Rin, one he had been waiting to be available in the little bookstore a couple blocks away from the dorm.

"I saw it earlier and had to buy it! I didn't have enough money to buy two of them though, so I figured we could read it together. I won't be able to sleep if we dont do it tonight!" Rin stared up at him, a million prayers for Bon to agree in his eyes, and Bon sighed.

He wasn't so inebriated he worried about Rin finding out, but he was really looking forward to meditating in this sensation. Still, they had been waiting almost 3 months for this edition, and he would love to have an excuse to have Rin close an- wait. A small blush coloured his cheeks and he scowled.

"Uh, I have to finish my demon pharmeceutics homework, actually." Rin frowned.

"I thought you usually do that before any of your other homework though?" Shit, he was right. Embarassed to have been caught in such a dumb lie, by Rin of all people, made Bon's cheeks flush red.

"J-just get in here, idiot." Rin smiled once again and squeezed past Bon into his room. A couple of sneezes sounded (incense always had that effect on him, and Bon was greatful for the gentle breeze pouring in through the open window) and Bon turned to find Rin settling into his bed like he owned it.

"Where's your roommate?" Bon kicked the door shut and made his way toward the bed as well.

"He's out for a week, visiting his grandmother. Won't be back for a coupla' days."

"Good for him, I hope he enjoys the break from class." Bon chuckled lightly. His roommate may be in the advanced class like he was himself, but he whined about doing homework almost as much as Rin and Shima.

Settling on the bed next to Rin, their sides pressed together and backs against the wall, they began a comfortable ritual they had indulged in before. Bon read over Rin's shoulders and Rin turned the pages (he was a slower reader than Bon, though not by a lot, so it was only fair for him to set the pace) and they sat in silence, enjoying each others warmth.

Bon wasnt sure when he had slumped closer and gotten distracted. Rin always enjoyed things to the fullest, and the manga had absorbed all his attention. A small furrow had wrinkled his brow, lip caught between sharpened teeth, and Ryuji had to fight the urge to trace his thumb across Rins forehead in order to smooth his brow.

He had a sharp profile, almost ethereal in a way. It made sense considering his heritage-- what with his biological father being a fallen angel and all. Strands of dark hair had fallen into his face, and Bon exhaled with amusement when Rins ear twitched with annoyance.

Rin stiffened, and Ryuji got increasingly nervous as he bagan slowly turning his head to look up him. "Dude," Rins voice was barely above a whisper, "you smell like weed."

Shit. "Shit! Don't tell Koneko!" Ryuji blurted it out. Rin winced at the sudden volume of his voice directly in his ear and it wasn't missed. "Sorry-" his voice was soft once again- "It's jus' if he finds out, he's gonna tell my ma' and then I'll never hear the end of it."

"If it's such a big deal why do you even do it?" Bon grimaced, sitting back against the wall.

"I started in middle school, when I started getting migrains. I don't like taking pills if I dont have to, and I heard somehwere that it helps. It did, and it still does. At first, I only smoked if I could feel a really bad migrain comin' on, and then it became a habit, and now I smoke daily." Rin was visibly shocked.

"Seriously? I never woulda' guessed." Bon shrugged.

"I only do it before my run and late at night. My roommate is the only person who knows."

"Where do you get it?" Another shrug in response.

"Some kid in class B. Unsavory sort, but he's had yet to slight me or rat me out. Said he's got a business to run, and he takes it pretty seriously." Rin hummed thoughtfully. Silence descended upon them, and Ryuji could feel the anxiety in his blood. Hesitantly, he once again requested for Rin to not tell anyone, especially Koneko.

Rin smiled mischeviously, and immediately Bon was annoyed. That dick head, he thought. He's gonna' take advantage of this.

"Sure, I'll keep your secret," the nephilim aquiesced. "But I want to try it too."

The taller boy stared at him like he had grown a second head, and he met his gaze unflinchingly. The silence was heavy, dragging for what felt like a million years.

"Seriously?" Rin beamed, nodding vigorously.

"It's somthin' I always thought looked cool, but with Yuki always harpin' on me to take care of myself, I haven't really bothered trying to find someone to do it with." His eyes sparkled and Bon couldn't say no.

"Okay. Fine. But this stays between us, understand?" Rin nodded again, hair flopping with the force of it. Nodding in satisfaction, Bon slid off the bed and knelt in front of his desk, opening the bottom drawer. He pulled out a small shoebox, not nearly big enough for shoes that would fit his own feet, but big enough to hide his stash.

Rin watched with fascination as Bon cracked the box and looked up at him. "I have to light and insence, I hope thats okay. The smell will linger if I don't and theres no way we won't get in trouble if it does." Rin bowed his head once. The brunet got to his feet and crossed the room, gently pulling out a new stick (this one was vanilla, something Rin could handle easily) and lighting it. He murmured some words over it and stuck it in the ash catcher.

When he settled on the bed again, it was with the box in hand and turned to face Rin. He twisted his body so he was also facing Bon, and then he watched.

Bon knew what he was doing, that was for sure. With gentle fingers he laid out an almost transluscent piece of paper, maybe the size of a sticky note. An even smaller piece of white cardstock was taken from the box, and Bon rolled it into a neat spiral.

Glancing up at Rin once, he helf up a small glass jar. "Do you wanna look at it?"

"Yes!" The jar was cool in his palm, made of glass and wrapped in a blank black label. He untwisted the cap, and the scent washed over him. It wasn't quite the same as when he smelled it on Ryuji's breath. It was clean and herby, and to be honest it kind of smelled like Shiemi. Floral, earthy, pungent.

"Pick one," Bon whispered. Almost reverently, Rin picked a small bud out, pinching it between his forefinger and thumb claws (It had been years since True Cross had learned of his heritage- There was no point in hiding his demonic features anymore). He deposited it gently in Bons outstretched palm.

He watched raptly as it was gently picked apart and sprinkled in a straight line across the transluscent paper. With skilled fingers, Bon rolled the weed and cardstock into the paper, and Rins lips traced his lower lip in sync with Bons against the edge of the paper (he pretended not to notice). Finally, it was ready.

Bon held out the joint for Rin to observe. Gently, as if picking up a delicate insect, Rin pinched it and held it up.

"Put the end with the filter in your mouth," Bon directed, "then light it and suck like it's a straw."

"Light it with what?"

"Fire, dork."

Rin hummed and followed the given directions. The small blue flame he lit on his thumb caught, turning orange as the paper burned naturally. He pulled, hard, and immediately his senses were assaulted. He pulled away from the joint hacking violently. Bon flinched and reached out in a panic.

"Sorry, sorry! I shoulda' warned you to hit it gently. Though I didn't expect you to haul ass and hit it like a seasoned vet like that." Rin looked up at him through watery eyes and gave him a weak smile.

"Go big or go home," he croaked. Bon laughed, then wiggled his fingers in a 'give here' motion.

"Lemme' show you how a pro does it." The smoke curled around him enticingly, ensaring Rins attention like a moth to flame (or a flame to paper). His eyes never strayed as Bon raised the joint to his lips and pulled. The cherry reflected in his pupils, as if artificially illuminating the demon blood in his veins. Rin watched as smoke escaped Bons lips and curled upward into his nose.

His eyes were alight with awe, and the way he stared up at Bon through those dark lashes made him want to lean forward and kiss him. Suddenly, he had an idea.

"Do you trust me?" Without missing a beat, Rin responded-

"Of course I do." Bon nodded. He hit the joint again and sowly leaned closer, closer than Rin was used to, closer than he had ever dared to be.

"Breath in." He could hear the air rattle into Rin's lungs, and closer still- so close Bon could feel the way Rin's lower lip trembled- he exhaled slowly. The smoke was sucked in, hardly any of it escaping in whisps around them, and then it was exhaled again.

Their vision clouded. Neither one of them dared move a muscle. The tension was palpable, heavy and overindulgent and begging to be broken. Rin moved first.

His lips were soft. He tasted like sugar cookies and weed and sadness. Bon felt as if he could drown in him, happy to sink into those deep blue eyes and never come back up for air.

Rin felt as if he was flying. The high had hit im almost instantaneously, and the heat he felt boiling beneath his skin only made his head spin faster, his heart pound harder. His lips were warm. His hands were warm. His breath was warm. Ryuuji was warm.

The smoke from his lungs had gone down much smoother, and Ryuji was so close and Rin couldn't get the heavy look in the brunets eyes as he leaned closer and closer out of his brain. With a small gasp, he pulled away. They only seperated by a couple inches, but to Rin it felt like a chasm had opened between them. He wanted to be closer, trapped in Bons arms and lips and blazing warmth.

Rin realized what he had done. Bon stared at him, mouth slightly ajar and cheeks flusjed bright pink. The freckles that decorated his face (how had he never noticed that before?) were constellations across the bridge of his nose; Rin wanted to know every single one of them individually.)

"I really like you." Rins words were sudden. too loud for the little space between them. The brunet smiled a soft smile, tender in a way he had never seen, and so goddamn warm. It turned his bones to jelly, and in that moment, Rin hoped Ryuji would never look at him any other way. "I have since we were first years."

Ryuji's smile doubled in size, and the warmth radiating off of it was all-encompassing. "Do you have any idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that?" His heart was soaring. It was like sunshine exploded inside his chest, triggered by Rins toothy grin and sparkling eyes. By God did Ryuji love those sparkling eyes.

In a moment of exhileration, Bon grabbed Rin by his upper arms and dragged his close. Their lips found one another again, gentle and loving and full of every moment they had yet to have. Rins hands gently wrapped around his forearms, shaking faintly.

Joyous laughter bubbled up in Rins chest and he pulled back, unable to hold them down. "What was that called, with the smoke?"

"Shotgunning?"

"Yeah, sure. I wanna' do that again. But-" Rin bit his lip, and Bon tilted his head.

"But what?" Rins cheeks coloured, and he turned away to mumble something. "I don't understand gibberish Rin." The nephilims eyebrows scrunched, and in a small voice he repeated-

"I wanna' do what you did." Bon's eyes popped open, and a soft exhale left his lips in a form of an 'oh'.

"Y-yeah. Sure." The joint had gone out at that point, but with a flick of his fingers and a gentle inhale, Rin was leaning forward and lacing his fingers into Bons hair. He pulled him close, chests pressed together and legs tangled. His head tilted, and Bons vision filled with smoke. It was sweeter than ever, slipping past his lips like the water that flows from eden, cool and staining the edges of his vision a hazy blue.

He exhaled as Rin tucked his face into the crook of his neck, giggling nervously. Comfortable silence descended upon them. Rins weight was soothing, their breathing syncing up as their highs descended upon them.

Bons eyes grew heavy, and he let them slide shut. Words ingrained deep in his memory surfaced, and he began to chant softly.

"Sarveshaam Svaastir Bhavatu, Sarveshaam Svaastir Bhavatu, Saveshaam Poornam Bhavatu, Sarveshaam Mangalam Bhavatu, Om Shanti, Shanti Shanteeh." His voice was deep, vibrating against Rins ear peacefully.

"Whuzzat' mean?" He garbled into Ruujis skin.

"May health abound forever;

May peace abound forever;

May complete abundance abound forever;

May auspiciousness abound forever;

Om Peace, Peace, Peace. It's a mantra I learned for those who wish for a peaceful life." Even translated for Rin to understand, it was soothing to listen to. Bons voice was steady and grounding. He loved the sound of it.

His eyes were so heavy, and his head was stuffed with cotton and his soul was floating above him in little circles. It was magnificent, he never wanted to come down. Bons arms were solid, wrapped around him in a loving embrace.

Rin wondered if he would ever be this happy if he had never awoken his powers. Distantly, he imagined his dad smiling down on him, his glasses flashing the way they always did when he was feeling mischevious.

"Does this make us boyfriends?" Bons breath hitched a little, then a soft chuckle vibrated through his chest. The feeling of it rippled across Rins skin, making his scalp prickle and toes wiggle. He wanted him to do it again.

"I hope so." Bons words made butterflies erupt in his stomach, and he couldn't fight the beaming smile he let out.

"Let's finish that manga."

"Sure."

#short story #one shot #ao no excorsist #blue exorcist #rin x bon #rin okumura #ryuuji suguro #bonrin #bonfire #shotgunning #marijuana #recreational drug use #long post #i use mobile so unfortunately i cant cut the post down #sorry not sorry

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this Week #89

After nearly two years of watching on average three movies per day, I realize why I enjoy this self-imposed project so much:

1. I really love movies, and I appreciate very much being able to do it full time as if it was a “real job”.

2. I am so happy to discover the richness of 'World Cinema’ on a regular basis, true masterpieces I never heard about before from far flung lands.

3. It’s not the act of passively watching movies that is most important for me. It’s having started writing again, even if it’s only film reviews for my own sake. Who knows, maybe soon I will even be moving these film-scripts from my head to paper.  

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RIP, Jean Luc Godard X 4:

🍿 A woman is a woman, (1961) his first idiosyncratic color ‘musical’. Exuberant film-making, imaginative, self-conscious and rebellious. "I don't know if this is comedy or tragedy... but it is a masterpiece"

🍿 I’m sorry to say but his second feature, the philosophical crime thriller Le Petit Soldat, left me cold. Maybe it’s all the talking about the politics of the Algerian War, maybe it’s the fragmented style and loose structure. I could hardly keep up. 🍿Sympathy for the Devil (AKA One Plus One) was Godard's first English language film. It documents The Rolling Stones in the studio developing the song "Sympathy for the Devil" from the album ‘Beggars Banquet’, which is exquisite. But this is mixed up with a bunch of didactic agitprop, long voice-over readings of Marxist texts, and staged scenes from the revolution, a tedious experience at best.

🍿Extra: From an 2014 introduction at TIFF.

(Also, I did not know he was a kleptomaniac).

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I have no affinity to the Turkish culture, but I’m excited to explore its apparent cinematic wealth. Watchtower is a terrific quiet drama, not made by Nuri Bilge Ceylan, but by female director Pelin Esmer. A lonely man with a tragic secret takes a sentinel job at a remote mountain fire-watching station. A young woman was raped by her uncle so she hides her pregnancy while working as a bus tour company. Slowly and painfully their paths converge. Even without a traditional payout at the end, it is the serendipitous discovery of the week!

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Petite maman, my 5th and the latest by my favorite feminist author Céline Sciamma. Always telling subtle stories about young girls, this short cinematic poem follows an eight-year-old daughter, whose grandmother just died. Small and delicate, as are all her other films. 8/10.

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Ermanno Olmi’s first major feature Il Posto (1961). A delicate telling of a shy young man landing his first job at a large Kafkaesque Milano office. I saw it in an Italian version with no subtitles, and missed much of the intended subtext.  

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Bergman Island - Scenes from a Marriage on Fårö Island, my 3rd delightful meta-film by Mia Hansen-Løve (after ‘Goodbye first love’ and ‘Things to come’). The story of a married couple of filmmakers on a working retreat on the island where Ingmar Bergman had resided. A film for Bergman fans, who may venerate the earth that the great ‘Artiste’ walked on.

Nearly perfect from the very first scene, with the parallel film-within-the-film maybe a bit on the nose. Female-centric and sparse in its Swedishness. Vicky Krieps is the most beautiful actress from Luxembourg I know. My favorite film of the week!

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2 with Aubrey Plaza:

🍿 Emily the criminal, a tight new LA crime thriller, about a woman who can’t get from under her impossible student loan debt. Depressingly realistic look into the humiliating life of marginal gig workers and poor people in general, which turns into a terrific survival flick. You can only make it here if you decide to break the law (and of course if you are a pretty white young female..). 8/10.

🍿 Earlier Aubrey Plaza played in Funny People, a 2.5 hour-long Judd Apatow comedy with Adam Sandler and Seth Rogan. It’s an unfunny exploration of sophomoric stand up comedians, that is too long by at least an hour. Lots and lots of dick jokes. 2/10

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The Brazilian Pink cloud starts off with a disclaimer: “This film was written in 2017 and shot in 2019. Any resemblance to real life is purely coincidental.” It’s about a woman who hook up with some guy for a one-night stand, and who finds out the next morning that a lethal ‘Pink Cloud’ suddenly covers the whole world, and nobody can go outside any more. Passive and claustrophobic, the two find themselves stuck together, isolated in the apartment, for days, then weeks, and eventually for a decade. This is not about Covid, but it is. 5/10.

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The last movie star, one of the last movies 81-year-old Burt Reynolds completed before his death shortly after. The story of a frail man who used to be a superstar, flying to an amateur film festival in Nashville was predictable, but still touching, lovely, and wistful. 7/10.

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Patricia Highsmith X 2:

🍿 Loving Highsmith, a lovely new biography of the prolific, lonely writer whose many terrific thrillers were made into films (’Carol’, ‘The talented Mr. Ripley’, ‘The American friend’, ‘Strangers on a train’). She was one of my friend Danny’s favorite writers. ‘Carol’ was the “first Lesbian novel with a happy ending”. 7/10.

🍿 Strangers on a train, based on her first novel. Hitchcock supposedly “stole” the rights for the movie for only $7,500, negotiating for it anonymously in order to keep the purchase price low. With two famous tennis matches, one out-of-control merry go round disaster and a famous shot of a murder reflected in the victim’s broken glasses. Re-Watch.

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Apparently, The Catholic School is based on a true event that happened in an affluent Rome neighborhood in 1975. So it mixes the standard Italian tropes of sin, guilt, latent homosexuality, misogyny, masculine pride, sexual repression, Etc.- nothing wrong with that. But the confusing story starts with a large group of mixed up teens in an upper-class school, and describes them in such unclear way, that it’s hard to figure out who’s who what and what is it about. What’s worse, it ends up unexplainably with a gruesome gang-rape, lengthy torture scene and a senseless murder. A disgusting experience. 1/10.

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Toto the hero, a Belgian classic from 1991. An old man (who looks remarkably like Laurence Olivier in his 70′s) is looking back at his dull life and all the many things he dreamed about but never got to achieve, especially his love to his sister. The best scenes were when he imagined his childhood as a theme from Charles Trenet’s ear worm ‘Boum‘. 4/10.

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2 dramas related to September 11:

🍿 The Humans, a claustrophobic thanksgiving dinner with six members of an unhappy family: Depressed religious father Richard Jenkins, his senile old mother June Squibb, the two bitter daughters Amy Schumer and Beanie Feldstein (who is moving into a run-down Chinatown apartment in NYC with her unmarried boyfriend Steven Yuen, to the disapprovement of the mother). Not dysfunctional enough? The father who was just fired from his job as a janitor at a Catholic school, after 28 years, is still traumatized by his memories from 9/11.

(Btw, Casting Director here is Ellen Chenoweth, whom I thought had many hundreds of movies to her credit, but according to IMDB, “only” 97 since 1982′s ‘Diner’).

🍿 The Siege was a bombastically-loud action film about Arab terrorists in New York City, whose actions causes Martial law to be declared over the city. Made in 1998, it foreshadows many of the agonies that will befall the country just three short years later, hysteric jingoism, macho Islamophobia, terror in the streets, the expansion of the Security State. The most original plot twist was letting CIA agent Annette Bening sleep with her Palestinian informant (but then of course she had to die). Seeing TV clips of Bill Clinton playing a president and rich pundit Arianna Huffington bloviating on TV was not helpful either.

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World War Z, a $200 million zombie apocalyptic horror, the highest-grossing zombie film of all time. Fast zombies instead of slow-shuffling zombies, and very fast editing to compensate for the stupid plot. With Peter Capaldi as a WHO Doctor... 2/10.

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I literally could not understand the new Confess Fletch comedy with Jon Hamm. But then, I recently saw the Chevy Chase original for the first time, and I didn’t get that one either. It did have one good joke (“What’s the password?” - Go fuck yourself!” ) but the rest? Was it goofy? Wacky? Witty? Plucky? Smart? Was it funny? Not for me.

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Switch, a predictable rom-com with good guy schmuck Jason Bateman as a sperm donor to Jennifer Aniston. 2/10.

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(My complete movie list is here)

#movies

[appalachiananarchist]

1. Vaccine data on preventing disease

I will start this post by summarizing (hopefully as simply as I can) a handful of studies pertaining to how well the vaccines work at preventing disease. I will start by looking at some of the early vaccine studies for the mRNA vaccines (as these are the ones I have researched most heavily). These are older studies done back before vaccine distribution really got big. In fact, I remember doing a journal club meeting on one of these articles sometime late last fall.

The first is one of the Pfizer studies. This one excluded people with compromised immunity which I understand, but angered me greatly when it came out (as a person with compromised immunity). Note that it was designed and funded by Pfizer, though when you look at the protocol and stats it appears well-designed. Like other studies discussed here, infection with COVID-19 used the FDA definition which is a positive test with at least one symptom (which can be basically anything). However, in summary, they found that a 2-dose regimen offered 95% protection against COVID-19 infection per the above definition. (SOURCE)

The second study (on Moderna) was funded by the Biomedical Advanced Research and Development Authority and the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, and the study protocol was designed by Moderna with their assistance. This study also used the FDA definition of COVID-19 as a positive test with a symptom and excluded the immune compromised. However, it found that a vaccination was 94.1% efficacious in preventing COVID-19 infection. (SOURCE)

Now that that part is out of the way I wanted to go over some more real-world data; that is, how are these vaccines actually functioning out there? Are they working on a population level like these studies suggest they ought to? Well...

The Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report from April through July of 2021 shows that vaccination reduces chances of catching COVID 5 fold. This report was important in examining how the vaccines are responding since the delta variant of COVID-19 has started to surge. (SOURCE)

A study out of California found in July of 2021 that COVID-19 infection rates in unvaccinated people are ~5X higher than in vaccinated people. (SOURCE) They do raise the concerns that more studies are needed on how long immunity lasts and whether it will wane. 

Another study examined COVID-19 vaccination effectiveness among health care workers, a group that is heavily exposed to COVID-19. They looked at whether the vaccines would prevent disease (in their study, defined as a positive test with at least one symptom). They specifically looked at the mRNA vaccines (Pfizer, Moderna). The study found "a single dose...to be 82% effective against symptomatic COVID-19 and 2 doses to be 94% effective." (SOURCE)

And before you say "but those were only symptomatic cases!" here is another study also looking at health care workers. This study spanning  December 2020-March 2021 basically tested all of their enrollees for 13 weeks and found that those who received 1 vaccine dose had 80% lower chances of getting COVID, while those with 2 doses had a 90% lower chance of getting COVID. This testing was done regardless of symptom burden. (SOURCE)

There is ongoing data collection on how long immunity lasts with some new reports (warning - following study is not yet peer reviewed) suggests that vaccine efficacy may drop to ~85% after 6 months in preventing disease, but efficacy in preventing severe disease remains very high, at 97%. Still, though, 85% is pretty good. (SOURCE)

So here are just a TEENY TINY number of the many studies coming out regarding the vaccines. I could sit here and list so many more, but then this post would be way too bloated and repetitive because they all say the same thing: the vaccine works. This conclusion is both consistent and reproducible, which when talking about scientific studies, means there is some good research backing it up. And before anyone says anything--YES, you can still catch COVID after getting a vaccine. Nothing works 100% of the time. Just because my car has an air bag and I use seat belts doesn't mean I won't get injured if I crash my car. But based on the available data, it works well in preventing infection in a lot of people, and furthermore, there is one other MAJOR benefit to the vaccine which I will discuss below.

2. Vaccine data on preventing severe disease:

Probably the most important realization that has come out of the past few months is our understanding of how robustly these vaccines effect disease course and severity. I am from eastern KY so one of the big hospital systems in my area is Appalachian Regional Health, which spans 13 facilities. According to their latest stats, they have 213 patients hospitalized with COVID-19. Of those, 16 are vaccinated. That means a little over 92% of the COVID patients there sick enough to need hospitalized are unvaccinated. For further reference, another major hospital in the region, Pikeville Medical, today reported that 70 of their 88 hospitalized COVID patients (~80%) are unvaccinated, and 20 their 24 (83%) ICU COVID-19 patients are unvaccinated. Another regional hospital, Kings Daughters, had recently reported that 86.5% of those hospitalized with COVID are unvaccinated and 100% of COVID patients in their ICU are unvaccinated. So before I even get to national statistics, you can look at these numbers as already see a trend, and I would hope you can see that these numbers are way too high and too consistent to be coincidence. For sources on these numbers you can visit the ARH, PMC, & KDMC websites or facebook pages where they post their stats (HERE, HERE, and HERE)

Now to post a few studies backing this up:

A recent CDC Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report (we talked about this one earlier) shows that vaccination reduces chances of hospitalization due to COVID-19 by ten fold. (SOURCE) The same report shows that vaccination reduces the risk of death due to COVID-19 by ten fold, as well!

Another recent study that incorporated delta variant data into their research has found that "unvaccinated adults aged ≥18 years are 17 times more likely to be hospitalized compared with vaccinated adults." (SOURCE).

Another study coming out of California, also post-delta surge, showed similar results, with hospitalization rates ~29X higher in unvaccinated people. (SOURCE)

Another study looked at how the vaccine protects adults over age 65, which is going to be a more vulnerable group. It found that adults >65 who received 1 dose of a COVID vaccine saw a 64% reduction in hospitalization if they contracted disease, and those with 2 doses saw a 94% reduction in hospitalization with disease. (SOURCE)

To me, studies like these are really important. What we are seeing over and over again right now is that our health care system is being absolutely flooded by unvaccinated COVID patients who need to be hospitalized. This is stressing the health system in ways it was not built to endure. We do not have enough equipment or staff to manage the volume of patients we are seeing. 

Sadly, this does not just affect COVID patients. When a bunch of unvaccinated people get sick and take up ICU beds, that means anyone who gets sick with non-COVID problems, like strokes and heart attacks, also suffer when there aren't beds left for them. For example, your grandmother who developed a bad bacterial pneumonia and is in respiratory distress may die because an unvaccinated COVID-19 patient got there first and took the last vent in the hospital, and there aren’t any ICU beds to transfer her to nearby because the wait lists are all so long because all the ICUs are also filled with unvaccinated COVID patients. I'd argue this is the biggest problem we are facing right now regarding the pandemic even if this problem is invisible to people who don't work in healthcare. Please believe me when I say this: we are drowning, and we are drowning because of unvaccinated COVID patients who are getting severely ill. This is completely unnecessary and avoidable when we are seeing over and over again that vaccination does wonders to prevent you from getting sick enough to need the hospital at all.

Don’t believe me still? I want each of you reading this to visit the webpage for some of your local hospitals. Most of them are posting daily or weekly COVID admission and death statistics. Just take a look at them. Take a look at who is getting admitted and who is dying.

3. Vaccine safety:

Any vaccine, medication, herbal supplement, or what have you that goes into your body carries the risk of an adverse side effect. As a result each of us has to ask ourselves, do the potential benefits outweigh the potential risks? To answer that we need to better understand the risks associated with COVID-19 vaccination, and that means turning back to the data we have available. 

According to NYT Vaccine Tracker, there have been 5.73 billion vaccine doses administered worldwide since its release. This generates an abundance of data for us to work with--more than we have for most medications you take every day--in regards to understanding safety profiles of these immunizations. Given that impressive number, we are by no means seeing widespread death or disability popping up due to the vaccine, but let's get more specific. We have seen a couple common possible adverse effects:

Flu-like symptoms: Most common by far is going to be flu-like symptoms or redness/pain at the injection site. This is actually a good side effect because it means that the vaccine is doing what it is meant to do. I won't talk much more about this one because I doubt flu-like symptoms are the reason people are scared of the vaccine. But for most of you, if you have any side effects at all, this will be as bad as it gets. You are more likely to have these symptoms after dose #2.

Anaphylaxis: Anaphylaxis can occur in anyone when you encounter a substance you have a try allergy to. This is going to be a rare side effect (2 to 5 people per million, or 0.00025%), but is also why you are asked to wait 15-30 minutes to be monitored after receiving your vaccine. That way if you show any signs of distress you can be given immediate treatment. Any time you get a vaccine or start a new medicine a severe allergy is a possible reaction, but if you already KNOW that you are highly allergic to something in the vaccine, you should not receive it.

TTP: This is a disorder that causes abnormal clotting or bleeding. It seems to be associated exclusively with the J&J or AstraZeneca adenoviral-vector vaccines based on current data trends. While rare, this is going to be the most serious adverse effect from the immunization. Data suggest the highest risk is for women under 50, but it is still remarkably rare with only 45 confirmed cases of TTP after over 14 million vaccine doses given. This is an incredibly, incredibly low incidence. Of note, however, patients with the actual COVID-19 virus have a SIGNIFICANTLY increased risk of clotting, especially in severe disease. This increased risk may be due to the production of auto-antibodies in response to COVID-19 infection. Summary: your risk of a blood clot is much higher with the actual virus than the vaccine.

Myocarditis/Pericarditis: These are conditions involving inflammation around the heart tissues or heart muscle. There does appear to be an increased rate of myo/pericarditis after vaccination. This is more common in teenaged males who received an mRNA vaccine (such as Moderna or Pfizer). This is also very rare. According to VAERS, 1404 cases of possible myo/pericarditis were reported after vaccination through September of 2021, though only 817 were able to be confirmed. A CDC report from June 2021 estimated about 60 cases of myo/pericarditis may develop per 1 million vaccine series completed (if you are male aged 12-17; otherwise the rate is lower). However, that same report also estimated the prevention of 71 ICU admissions, 2 death, and 215 hospitalizations among that same group per million vaccines given. Again it is a risk-benefit discussion, but here the numbers definitely point to a benefit overall. Vaccine-induced myocarditis and/or pericarditis are generally one-time events with an excellent prognosis, so rarely represent a threat to life. As the authors of the study linked above stated, "The absolute incidence was extremely low, cases were mild, and all patients recovered. Fear of myocarditis or pericarditis should not influence COVID-19 vaccine decisions."

Guillain-Barré Syndrome: This is a disorder of the nervous system that can cause temporary weakness and paralysis. It is commonly seen after immunizations or infections with various pathogens. It has been associated with adenovirus-vector vaccines (J&J, AstraZeneca) at a very low rate (about 0.0008%) with J&J reporting ~100 cases per 12.2 million doses per VAERS data, and 227 cases out of 51.4 million doses given per EU/EEA to the EMA again through June 2021. People with a history of Guillan-barre are more likely to get it again, so your risk is probably slightly higher if you have had issues with this before, so people with this history may want to opt for an mRNA vaccine which has not been associated with this. 

4. Addressing Common Concerns

If the vaccine works, why do you feel unsafe if I don't get it? A vaccinated person is more protected from you than if they were not vaccinated, but no vaccine (or medical treatment in general) works 100% of the time, so there is always a risk of spreading disease no matter what. This is true for every single vaccine in history so COVID shots aren't special in this way. The data supports indisputibly that the vaccine reduces the RISK of getting COVID, but does not protect against it perfectly, so people should still use common sense. Also, vaccine works much, much better when everyone gets them, which is why vaccinated people enourage others to get the shot too. Think about it. Most of the studies I linked said the vaccines were in the range of 90-95% effective at preventing disease. If everyone in the room is vaccinated, the chances any of them (with their 90-95% protection) are infected and spreading COVID is going to be lower than a room of unvaccinated people, who have no protection against disease. Think now of yourself as a vaccinated bystander inside each of those rooms. In room 1, there is a low rate of COVID-19 being spread around, so your vaccine-induced immunity is now bolstered by the fact that there is also low spread in the community, making your overall chances of getting sick extremely low. In room 2 there is likely moderate to high spread of COVID-19 virus, meaning that even if you are vaccinated, because your vaccine can never be 100% effective, you sadly still have a chance of getting sick (even if it is lower than it would be if you were not vaccinated). Does that make sense?

If vaccines work, why do I have to wear a mask? Same reason as above. We can get into masks later, but point is, both offer protection against the spread of COVID-19, but neither is 100% surefire perfect immunity. Human bodies just don't work that way, sadly. By using both, you increase your chances of preventing catching or spreading disease more than if you did either one in isolation. Bringing back the car example, a seat belt is good, an air bag is also good, but I'd definitely prefer to get a car that has both a seat belt AND an air bag.

Why is the vaccine not approved for kids? Lacking data on safety and efficacy, as young children were excluded from many of the trials that looked at these vaccines. 

We don't have long term safety data. It is unprecedented for an immunization to cause new side effects years later. These shots work by activating your immune system. Any problems they are going to cause will occur surrounding that period of immune activation (meaning, at most a few weeks after you get it). That is why this vaccines typically have any side effects show up within days to weeks of administration. The idea that novel side effects will pop up YEARS later is unlikely. Now, a vaccination may have cause side effect that has long-lasting health implications, such as developing TTP and having a stroke from it, but my point is that will start within weeks of vaccination, not randomly 5 years later after the vaccine has long since left your system. As a result, any side effects from the vaccine are things we will already be seeing right now. The virus, though...   I can tell you that scar tissue in lungs doesn't magically vanish, and brain damage from hypoxia doesn't vanish. I can tell you that those who develop a generalized COVID inflammatory response are dealing with symptoms months post-infection. I can tell you that the virus itself is causing irreversible health problems and disability, and we KNOW that right now without waiting another 5 years. And we know that being unvaccinated increases your risk of getting sick enough to have these permanent disabilities. We also don't have time to wait 5-10 years on more data to deal with this problem. Action has to be taken now, or a lot of people won't be alive in 5 years to talk about the long term effects. I wish none of this had ever happened, but it did, and we have to do something or it won't get any better. This is a global pandemic; we have to cooperate with each other to eradicate it.

Vaccines should not be mandated by the state or companies. I don't really disagree. I do not think authority figures should be able to tell any person that they have to put any substance into their body against their will or else face starvation or homelessness, which is a real threat if people get fired over their vaccine status. HOWEVER neither your nor my beliefs on this topic change the fact that the vaccine works and is VITAL to keeping our health system from collapsing, and you really should be choosing to get it on your own based on the available data regardless of what your boss is saying. Please don't refuse to get the vaccine just to "send a message" or take a stand against your boss or whoever, because I promise you they will fire you without a second thought, and the only person you are sending a message to is that little grandma we talked about earlier who needs intubated but can't find a free vent or ICU bed, so dies in the emergency room while unvaccinated people take up all the space in the hospital.

5. In Summary

There are risks associated with COVID-19 vaccination, as with any vaccine or medicine, but they are remarkably, remarkably low. The potential benefits of vaccination are significant, with a decreased risk of infection, hospitalization, and severe disease among those who are vaccinated. This benefit extends to the community as well, in that it means you are less likely to catch (and therefore spread) COVID-19, increase the rate of herd immunity in your area which protects everyone (especially the medically vulnerable), and reduces preventable, unnecessary COVID-19 admissions that are weighing down the health system and clogging up hospital beds. If you look at this purely from a risk-benefit standpoint there is no mathematical reason not to favor getting the vaccine, and I strongly urge everyone who can safely do so to schedule it.

I suppose my take-away statement is this: I am a physician. If you are willing to trust my advice when you show up to the hospital in respiratory distress, trust my advice now in trying to prevent you from getting to that point. 

Please.

#covid-19 #pandemic #covid vaccine #covid-19 vaccination #medblr #medical #population health #preventative medicine

[fangirlshrieks]

Spring Break part 1

a/n: This is my first official post on here and I don't know how it will turn out. Tik Tok really made me obsessed with Harry Potter 😭.  Now I am a simp for Neville. I got a soft spot for quiet, nerdy, shy, and subby boys. I don't usually write fanfiction because my ideas are usually super long and I have no time to write them out but I decided to write this one. I will also be posting this on my wattpad account. I read @omg-imatotalmess sub!Neville fic back in December and I've been obsessed with the idea of Neville being a sub. *internally screaming* 

Part 1, Part 2, part 3

Word count: 2,519

Pairings: Neville Longbottom x female reader

Warnings: Mensions of sex, Innuendoes, mentions of plant boy's insecurities

The sunlight intruded through your dorm room windows. It shined at just the right angle so the light hit your eyes, abruptly waking you up. In annoyance your turn onto your stomach and bury your head under your pillow desperate for just a few more minutes of sleep but the memory of it being the last day of school before spring break entered your mind. You peaked from under your pillow to check the time. It was around 7:05. You huffed. It was too early to get up. Unable to go back to sleep with the light in your eyes you reluctantly got up out of bed and got ready for the day. You could hear the deep snores of your dorm mates sleeping quietly as you got ready. It was times like these where you enjoyed getting up earlier than everyone else. There was always a sort of peace before the hustle and bustle of everyone rushing to the bathrooms to find a mirror or use the sinks. You made sure to be as quiet as possible. Having gotten ready you decide to head to the great hall for breakfast. 

Sitting down at the Y/H table you grabbed a toast and some butter and jam. There were a few students around but not enough to fill the hall with loud noise. None of your friends were up yet, that's for sure, so you scanned the room to see if your boyfriend, Neville Longbottom, was there.

'Who am I kidding he's probably still asleep too' you thought.

But just as you turned to eat your food, Neville had entered the great hall. He spotted you and quickly walked over to where you were sitting. 

"Hello love" he gave you a quick peck on the top of your head before sitting down next to you. 

"What are you doing here so early?" His tone is full of amusement, knowing you aren't normally one of the first students to enter the great hall in the morning. 

"I could ask you the same thing" you said, giving him a teasing look. 

"Well I couldn't really sleep last night. Too excited for holiday, I guess." He responded with a bit of nervousness in his voice. You didn't seem to notice however.

"Well I was rudely interrupted from a wonderful sleep by a disgusting thing called sunrise." The sarcasm in your voice made the two of you laugh slightly.

"I'm sorry you didn't get to sleep in."

"It's fine. That just means I get to spend more time with you today." You said nudging him with your shoulder. "By the way did you ever tell your gran that I would be visiting the two of you at the lake house."

Neville's grandmother was invited by an old friend to stay with her at her lake house. The lake house was relatively close to where you lived in London but it was obviously in the wizarding world. You had asked Neville about two weeks ago if you could visit him and his grandmother while they were there. You had never been to a lake house before and you wanted to spend your first Holiday with him as his girlfriend since you two had got together.

You had only been going out since December but you had been friends since 1st year. When his grandmother heard the news about the two of you finally becoming an official couple she was ecstatic. She always believed there was something more between the two of you. Even when you were in your previous relationship with a boy from Beauxbatons Academy of Magic your fourth year, there was always something there but neither of you believed that other could ever like you in that way. But after you broke up with your ex at the end of your fourth year, the tension between you and Neville was undeniable. It was not until the start of 6th year after Neville had an encounter with Death Eaters at the Ministry of Magic and it was revealed that Voldemort had returned that you and Neville had actually acted on your feelings. Now here you are actually together.

You had visited him and his grandmother before during other school breaks but only every as a friend. This time would be different. Your mind sometimes wondered about taking your relationship to the next level but you only ever mention that once before and Neville seemed nervous the entire time so you dropped the subject. You assumed it was because he was a virgin and unfortunately to your dismay it was a well known fact that you had lost your virginity to your ex who had bragged about it when you were a couple (but that is a story for a later time).

"Oh yeah." He seemed anxious and grabbed a toast to shove in his mouth to try and drown the worry in his voice, but it didn't help. "Gran said you are welcome anytime."

"Perfect." 

More students started filling the hall as you finished your breakfast. Dean and Seamus had also entered the hall and made their way towards the two of you. 

"Hey guys." Neville greeted them.

"What are you two love birds talking about?" Dean said while leaning over your shoulder.

"Just making plans." You said nonchalantly as you turned your head towards him.

"Plans for Holiday I assume?" Seamus piped in with a raised eyebrow. From behind your back, Neville gave him a look almost as if he was pleading with him not to make any inappropriate jokes. 

"Yes, actually" you answered.

Seamus pushed on, "Care to elaborate?" 

"I'm sorry, but I actually have to pack, which I would advise you three to do the same." You turned back to Neville. "I'll meet you at the Entrance Hall so we can head towards the Express together, yeah?"

"Sounds like a plan." And with that Neville watched you headed towards your dorm to pack.

He was thankful you left before Deam or Seamus could mention anything about what had happened last night. The three of them all walked over to the Gryffindor table to eat.

"So you and y/n are you and going to be sharing the same room?" Seamus asked.

Neville choked on his juice he was drinking and coughed a few times before finally recovering.

"Relax mate, it's natural to be nervous your first time." Dean added.

"I already told you too, me and y/n are not doing anything during break. She's just visiting me and gran for a day." Neville had a slight red hue over his cheeks.

"Alright, alright " Dean said amusingly.

"But just so you know spring break is when couples usually…" Seamus didn't get to finish.

"I get it, Seamus! Do you have to be so loud?" Neville cut him off. "I think I'm going to go pack now, see you guys later."

"Just remember to pack the rubbers Seamus gave you." Dean laughed under his breath.

Of course how could Neville forget the rubbers.

------ The night before in the boys dormitories ------

"Yeah, it's going to be great. Y/N is joining me and gran for a day at the lake house. It will be nice to not be the only person my age there. Plus I can show Y/N all the cool plants around the lake." Neville was beaming talking about his plans for Holiday with you and his grandmother. His smile was radiant and by the expression on his face you could totally tell he was smitten by you.

"Wait let me get this straight. Y/N is going to be staying at your grandmother's lake house with you." Dean was trying to make sense of the situation.

"Technically it's my gran's friend's lake house."

"That doesn't matter." Seamus said bluntly. "The fact is you and Y/N are going to be at a lake house together during spring break."

"What are you going on about?" Neville was completely dumbfounded about what was wrong with the situation.

"Seamus, will you just tell him." 

"I got a better idea." Seamus walked over to his dresser and opened a drawer. He searched inside for a small box. Once he found it, he grabbed it, and threw it towards Neville. When it landed on his bed, Neville grabbed the box and read what it was. He saw the figure on the box was a warrior and the name 'Trojan' written at the very top. His eyes widened and he immediately fumbled the box before he dropped it. He could feel his cheeks warm up as Dean and Seamus laughed at his reaction.

"Wh.. Where did you get those?" Neville distanced himself from the condoms.

"It doesn't matter." Seamus said, still laughing.

"Are you serious? I can't take those with me." Neville was embarrassed for having never even thought that something like that would happen while on Holiday with you. "Wait, this trip isn't even about that. Me and Y/N haven't even done anything yet. I haven't even done anything yet!" Seamus insinuation had clearly caused Neville to freak out and rethink his entire plan of having you visit him during break.

"Chill out mate." Dean was trying not to laugh but it wasn't really helping.

"Mate we know it’s your first time, we just thought you could use some pointers." Seamus suggested.

"I really don't think that's necessary. We're not going to…" this time Neville was cut off by Seamus.

"Listen, when you put the condom on make sure you pinch the top so there is a bit of room there and then roll it down. If you don't it just might break and we don't want that happening do we."

"Also don't forget to use a new one every time. Apparently they are not reusable." Dean chimed in. 

Neville was in shock and the color of his face matched the color of his house's signature color. 

"Please stop." He was pulling at his hair in agony.

"We're just trying to help a friend out." Seamus said smugly.

"This isn't helping. This is making it worse." Neville shoved his head in his pillow from embarrassment. 

The other boys continue to laugh. Neville, extremely embarrassed by his friend's insinuation, tried to come up with a reason to leave his dorm and got up and grabbed the closet textbook near him.

"Uhh... I forgot I need to catch up on my studies" and with that he rushed to the Gryffindor common room. 

At this time at night the common room was empty. Only the fireplace lit the room with a warm glow. He sat on the sofa in front of the fireplace and ran his fingers through his hair to ease his nerves.

"How could I be so stupid?" He asked himself aloud. 

The signs had been there all along. He just hadn't put all the pieces together until now. You had originally asked him if you could spend the night at the lake house but he didn't understand why at the time because you lived close by. Then there was the conversation the two of you had a couple of weeks ago. You had asked Neville how he had felt about moving your relationship on a more intimate level and he had completely freaked out by the sudden suggestion. He had certainly thought about you in that way occasionally (even before the two of you were officially together) but he never imagined it to ever come to fruition. Then when the two of you had finally gotten together, he felt inadequate in that particular area because he had never been with anyone romantically. He was relieved when you dropped the subject but knew it would be a topic to come back again. 

He also noticed how touchy you had become lately in private. You two were definitely not a pda couple but preferred to show your love to one another in private. Neville thought back to the time last week when it was just the two of you sitting by the lake while he read you a chapter in his herbology book. The two of you had sat right under a tree and you had sat next to him leaning your head on his shoulder and placed your hand on his thigh. 

As he read to you, your hand slowly made its way higher and higher towards the area between his legs. At first he was completely oblivious to your actions until he had set his book aside from in front of him and noticed how close your hand was to his crotch. It had made him freeze and he felt his face heat up. You had looked up at him and leaned in to give him a kiss which eventually turned into a heated make out session. Neville couldn't recall how you ended up on top of him or how your hands had slipped under his shirt but they did. He untimely stopped the moment when his crotch was becoming increasingly annoying as you rested your weight on him. He sensed that you had felt a little disappointed despite your reassuring words. 

Neville rubbed the back of his head in frustration as he recalled the memory. He didn't want to stop but his insecurities got the best of him. He remembered how self conscious he felt when you started to rub up and down on his chest and stomach. Neville knew he did not have the most muscular built nor was he very slim. He often wondered what you even saw in him. 

He hated when he started to overthink. He quickly shut out those thoughts and ended up thinking about you and your smile. How he loved your smile and how bright you beamed every time you looked at him like he was the greatest person in the world. 

"That has to count for something right?" He whispered to himself. 

'Wait what if she does want to have sex this week?' He pondered on the possibility. 

His mind wondered about the idea of losing his virginity to you and smiled to himself as another thought entered his mind. 

You were riding him like your life depended on it. It was really a sight for sore eyes and he found himself more open to the idea. Then his eyes went wide with the sudden realization that he doesn't really know anything about the female anatomy. He didn't really know where his penis was supposed to enter or where the clit was. At this point he had wished there was some sort of sex education at Hogwarts.

His nerves seemed to oscillate from high to low with his constant thinking.

"This is going to be a long break." He said to himself rubbing his temples.

That night he kept twisting and turning in bed and couldn't get much sleep. He ended up sleeping for only 4 hours and was woken up by the sunshine entering the windows. He reluctantly got out of bed and got ready for the day. 

Heading out of Gryffindor tower he left towards the great hall for breakfast. 

a/n: Hoped you like it. 😊

#neville x y/n #neville longbottom x reader #neville longbottom imagine #neville longbottom #neville longbottom x reader smut #neville x reader smut #neville longbottom fanfiction #harry potter #neville longbottom x you #neville longbottom x y/n #neville longbottom smut #smut #neville imagine #neville fluff #neville x oc #neville #neville smut #harry potter smut #first post #new writter #new writers on tumblr #first story

[saynotoshityouhate]

Bluebird

Words: 1568

Summary: Your new relationship with Adam Sackler is put to the test when a close family member passes away. 

Tags/Warnings: angst, crying, death of a family member, funerals

Author’s Notes: This is based on an experience I had earlier this month, unfortunately. You could say I’ve been going through some shit lately. I found this helpful to write it all out - and although Sackler wasn’t there, I was surprised and overwhelmed by the support of my friends. 

____________

You ended the call in shock and began to cry, almost forgetting that you were on a date. You looked up at the man sitting across the table. “Uhhh, kid? Everything okay?”

You had been dating Adam Sackler for a couple months when you heard your grandmother had passed away. Things were going really great - he was funny, charming, and a perfect match for your quirky personality. You felt absolutely terrible that you basically shut him out over the next week, as you were so incredibly busy seeing to the arrangements for the visitation, funeral, and the various meals that went along with it. As the oldest grandchild, you felt an extra responsibility to do more to support your family, often at the expense of your own emotional and physical well-being. Adam tried his best, calling you (he wasn’t much of a texter), stopping by your apartment, bringing you Gatorade to replenish your electrolytes...he really was too good to be true. You just didn’t know how to process your own emotions, let alone let someone else in on those emotions. You didn’t want to burden anyone. Regardless, you didn’t have time to burden anyone - there were phone calls to be made, meetings to attend, and the guy at the flower shop was being a real pain in your ass. 

It was the day before the visitation and Adam had come by your apartment to bring you dinner from your favorite Chinese restaurant. You sat quietly on the couch together, eating directly out of the white paper cartons. You felt Adam’s intense gaze on you constantly, as if he was trying to read your mind - since you certainly weren’t going to share. “Kid - you good? What’s goin’ on in that pretty little head of yours?” You answered with a mouth full of orange chicken. “Nuffin’ I’m fine,” you kept your eyes focused on your chopsticks, avoiding those hazel eyes. “Graaraggghhhaaarrrrr” Adam slammed his beef and broccoli onto the table with a loud groan, standing up from the couch. He began pacing the living room, hands in fists, primal noises escaping his plush pink lips. “Adam!” You shouted at him, setting your dinner down as well. “When are you going to knock off this ‘I’m too evolved to possibly need help’ act? I’m working my ass off here to get you to let me in! Let me help you, Y/N, you’re doing too much! Please!” Adam knelt down in front of you, grabbing your hands and looking up at you with his puppy dog eyes. You slapped his hands away, standing up and stomping across the room. “I am not too evolved! I’m fine - I told you that. Multiple times! And if you can’t understand that, maybe you should just leave. I have so much work to do for tomorrow, and you’re distracting me with your drama.” You pointed at the door. “Y/N...come on…” he sat back on his heels, eyes wide with worry. “It’s probably best that you just go...I’m sorry.” You opened the apartment door for him. Adam stood up to leave, walking towards you. He leaned in for a kiss, but you turned your head away. He settled for a kiss on the cheek, and a squeeze of your shoulder, as he exited. 

You locked the door, and leaned your back against it for support as you felt your entire body weakening. You closed your eyes and slid down the wall, collapsing into a puddle on the floor. Your body heaved with sobs so intense you didn’t even make a noise. Your eyes were screwed shut so tightly, but the tears still flew out of your eyes, soaking your face and shirt. You pulled your knees tight to your chest, the pain from the weight of the week slightly relieved by the opening of your shoulder blades. Opening your eyes, you completed your breathing exercise which usually worked to calm you down. In for four seconds, hold for four seconds, out for eight seconds. Repeat until calm. Your breaths began as shaky and stuttered, eventually evening out, causing a release of tension across your face, shoulders, and back. You could have kept crying for hours, but as you told Adam, there was too much to do. Thinking about Adam made your eyes well up again, but you shook it off. Focus. Pushing yourself off of the floor, you headed to the bathroom to splash cold water on your face. 

You barely slept that night, tossing and turning, thinking of the work to do the next day. You’d wake up, remembering something you hadn’t done yet, and roll over to write it on the notepad you kept on your bedside table. Looking in the mirror in the morning, your face was puffy and eyes bloodshot. You groaned. What a horrible day this was going to be. You took a quick shower and pulled yourself together as much as possible. You had three errands you had to run before getting to the funeral home to set-up. Getting into your car, you had a chance to look at your phone for the first time and saw two missed calls from Adam. Setting your phone on the passenger seat, you promised yourself you’d call him after the day was over. Choking back tears, you went through your day. With each item you crossed off the list, two were added. Your resolve was at risk of failing, but there wasn’t time to let that happen.

At 4:00pm, the doors were opened, letting in the friends and family who had arrived to pay their respects and share their sympathies. You stood tall and strong in the front of the room, wearing a simple, conservative black dress and sandals with the slightest heel. You knew you were going to be running around, and comfortable shoes were a necessity. You greeted the crowds of family and friends with hugs and handshakes, smiling at the compliments and accepting the words of sympathy. “You look just like her when she was younger.” “She was so proud of you.” You swallowed the lump in your throat, smiled, and said thank you before moving on to the next person. One hour into the two hour event, your cousin elbowed you in the side, pointing towards the door. “Who’s the giant? Someone from grandpa’s side of the family?” 

You immediately burst into tears. There, towering over a sea of white haired aunties, was Adam. Wearing a brown tweed jacket, blue button down and green tie, he was scoping the room in search of you. When he found you, he began swimming through the crowd of elderly visitors. “‘Scuze me! Fuck! Sorry! Oof!” You couldn’t help but laugh through your tears. Finding his way over, he stood in front of you, slightly out of breath. “Hey, kid.” Through your sobs you replied, “You came.” He sighed. “I’m always going to be here for you, kid. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” You crashed into him, wrapping your arms tightly around his chest, resting your forehead on his sternum. You stayed here and cried for what seemed like hours, Adam squeezing you back, while also managing to rub your back and stroke your hair. Adam stood by your side the rest of the evening, arm wrapped around your waist to hold you steady. You caught yourself introducing him as your boyfriend, to which he looked down at you and smiled, squeezing your waist in approval. 

He drove you home that night and you asked him to stay, where he held you all night, his large body intertwined with yours. When waves of sadness crashed over you during the night, he rubbed your back and walked you through your breathing exercises. He made you breakfast in the morning, where he asked you to tell him stories about her. He listened intently, smiling and laughing, and at one point even shedding a few tears. He stood tall and strong next to you at the funeral, smiling up at you as you read a bible passage in front of the entire church, kissing your cheek when you returned. In the car, after everything was over and done with, you turned to look at him. He chewed his lip as he drove through the crowded downtown streets, his dark shaggy hair falling into his gorgeous eyes. “I’m sorry I pushed you away, Adam.” You began to cry, reaching over to put your hand on his thigh. “I can’t imagine having done this week without you. Thank you - for everything.” He reached down to hold your hand in his. “Thank you for letting me in, kid. I was fucking scared, seeing you burnt out like that. You gotta talk to me, Y/N, you know I love the sound of your voice.” He squeezed your hand and pulled into a parking spot. “I’m sad this week is over - it means she’s really gone.” You looked down into your lap, tears spilling onto your cheeks. Adam wiped a tear off of your cheek. “You know she’s floatin’ around here or some shit - you just gotta be open to seeing her. Like over there!” He excitedly pointed to a bluebird that had landed on the railing of your front stoop. You smiled, taking a deep, cleansing breath, as you both sat in silence watching the bird before it gracefully flew away.

A/N: special thanks to @agirlwhoisaphantom and @weareallstoriesintheend​ for their support this past month. I wouldn’t still be upright without them. 

#adam sackler #adam sackler x reader #adam sackler angst #adam driver character universe #adcu #adam driver #adcu fic

[maneskinrollercoaster]

~ And All That For a Lighter ~

Pairing: Damiano David x Naomi (fictional character)

Word count: 3035

Warnings: none

Summary: Naomi meets Damiano in a café for the first time.

Naomi entered the café all soaked, her cheeks red from running and her hair messy and wet from the rain. It was pouring outside which was the thing she despised the most. Surprisingly tho she felt good. Fresh. She loved walking around Rome in the morning and for the first time in her life she admired this rainy weather. Little drops of water flowed over her cheek. Her life was a big mess and you could say she needed something new.

When a month ago she found her boyfriend cheating with her best friend she felt like her whole life collapsed. That’s when she decided to change something. Start a new life. She started admiring things she’s never liked before, she started dressing differently, she became more confident in her own body. She even started working out which was the most unexpected thing since physical education was her least favorite subject in high school.

Naomi always thought love was the most essential part of everyone’s life, but a sight of Alessandro having fun in their bed with Sofia made her hate love more than anything. She decided to move on and live life completely and only for herself.

- Buongiorno Joey - she said reaching the bartender standing behind the counter.

- Buongiorno piccola, what can I get for you?

- One espresso please, and one brownie - the bartender nodded and started preparing her order.

She decided to sit down since she would probably spend a lot of time working on her laptop and enjoying this rainy morning. The inside of café was warm and welcoming, comfortable couches, puffy pillows and a lot of plants. She visited this café every day for the past two weeks and she found herself enjoying this place maybe even more than her new flat.

Naomi went to sit in the corner on a cozy red couch. She took off her soaked jacket and pulled out her laptop with a couple of notebooks. She was a student of economy and since she had to find herself some more things to do she decided to actually try harder to have a better degree at her college. She wasn’t so fond of the direction she chose but she knew it’s gonna bring her a prosperous life. In fact her favorite thing in the world was art. She started painting when she was 8 years old. Since then she really enjoyed staying all day alone in her room painting everything she could, from beautiful portraits to mesmerizing landscapes. She had a huge talent but she was too afraid to chase her dreams.

When she met Alessandro he quickly bashed her ideas of becoming a professional painter, saying that it’s not something she will build her life on and that she will be only wasting her time. She was mad at him for a couple of days but then she quit her painting dream and chose economy for her main subject.

- Ecco a te, one coffee and one brownie - said Joey bringing her order to the table and putting it right in front of her.

- Grazie mille - Naomi answered and smiled to him.

She took a sip of coffee and smiled. It was delicious. That was another reason why she kept coming back here every day. They made the best coffee she’s ever drunk.

Two hours passed and Naomi was still working on her assignment she was supposed to give in till next Monday. It was about lunch time so she decided she will pack her things in an hour and she will go find a place to eat something. She took the last sip of the coffee and finished her first task when someone pulled her out of her little trans.

- Ah shit! I’m all wet! - she heard someone saying and moment later she saw a guy reaching the bartender.

He was tall and had slightly longer, dark brown hair. She could only see his profile but only that was enough for her to admit that he was really handsome. He was wearing black trousers, black Dr. Martens, white tank top and an oversized black jacket. He looked good and Naomi couldn’t take her eyes off of him.

- Damiano! It’s so good to see you man! - Joey said and shook hands with the new guy.

Damiano. The name really suit him. Naomi didn’t take her eyes off him even once.

- Ciao, ciao, Joey! - his voice was attractive as well. Raspy and deep but really calm.

Naomi didn’t know what was happening. Usually she didn’t pay attention to any guys after Alessandro but he was different. He looked edgy and bold but he seemed nice too. She was staring at him. And not in a polite way. She was literally eyeing him from up and down and she didn’t even realize.

- Give me an espresso man, I’m so tired, I just woke up. Yesterday we had so much fun. Victoria came up with this new idea of the song and we all stayed up late till 4 am trying to figure out how to pull it up together. - Damiano said.

So he’s into music. Nice. Naomi was still staring at him so rudely but she didn’t care at this point. Music is also art - she thought and smiled slightly not letting go of his person.

- Typical you, Dam, you’ve never slept a full night, did you? - Joey said and they both laughed.

- Do you have a lighter maybe? I forgot mine. - Damiano said and started searching his pockets.

- I don’t man, sorry. Let me make your order. Anything else for you?

- No, no that’s all. I’m gonna go search for a lighter and I’ll be back.

He turned around searching for people but at this time the café was empty. Only Naomi sitting in the corner. He started walking towards her. Oh shit, he’s coming here, stop staring, stop staring, stop staring - Naomi thought and looked at her laptop trying to pretend that’s she didn’t just checked him out for 10 minutes straight.

- Scusi, I’m.. - he reached her table and started speaking but stopped when she looked at him. - I’m sorry to interrupt but do you have a lighter maybe? - he said after a second.

- No, I’m sorry. I don’t smoke. - Naomi blushed and smiled lightly.

- Okey, grazie. - he smiled and started walking away.

- But there’s a store at the corner, I think they might have some. - Naomi said

- Grazie, grazie. - he laughed slightly and waved at her.

Naomi went back to her tasks still blushing not knowing why. 15 minutes passed and Damiano entered the café again carrying two bags. He came up to Naomi smiling.

- I uh.. Sorry to interrupt again but.. Do you want to maybe eat lunch with me? I just thought that it’s lunch time and you’re sitting here alone and since you helped me with the lighter.. - he couldn’t stop speaking and Naomi blushed again laughing. He looked a bit nervous.

- Of course, I would love to eat lunch with you. - she said interrupting him.

- I’m Damiano - he said pulling out his hand.

- Naomi - she said and grabbed his hand to shake it but he turned it and kissed the top of her palm.

She felt something weird in her stomach, like butterflies but she pushed them aside and only smiled to him. Damiano sat on the couch opposite Naomi and put two bags on the table.

- I didn’t know what you like, obviously because I don’t know you, yeah very clever Dam, whatever.. - he started speaking and Naomi couldn’t stop but laugh at him loudly

- Don’t worry, I’m not a peaky eater - she said sending him a reassuring smile.

- Alright, well, I ordered pasta with shrimps and some pesto and cherry tomatoes. - he said taking out the box with food from the bag. - I also got you a cherry smoothie but we can switch if you’d like.

- Wow, and that all for a lighter? You really didn’t have to. But thank you so much, I was about to go for lunch anyways. - she said grabbing the box that he handed her.

- Yes well, you’re really beautiful.. I mean, no.. I mean you are beautiful but I just wanted to say that you’re really nice and yeah I don’t know I just thought you might like to eat something.. Not that you look like you’re starving but yeah..

- Heyyy, thank you, really, that’s so nice of you. - she said smiling widely.

Naomi took the first bite of her pasta and it was delicious. She remembered her grandmother cooking shrimps every Saturday and all her family gathering together for a family dinner in the garden. It tasted just the same.

They ate everything and after two hours of talking and laughing and getting to know each other it was time for Joey to close the café. Naomi stood up and packed her things, said goodbye to Joey and together with Damiano they stepped out of the café. It stopped raining and instead there was a full sun and a fresh breeze.

- So what are you gonna do now? - he asked standing in front of her.

- Umm.. I think I’m just gonna go back to my flat, make myself some snacks and watch Netflix till I fall asleep - Naomi laughed.

- Alright well, do you mind if I walk you home? - Damiano asked steeping a bit closer to her.

- Sure, why not, we can take a walk.

That day Damiano walked Naomi to her house and they exchanged numbers, planning to meet again. He kissed her cheek for goodbye and squeezed her hand and Naomi has never felt like that in a long time. She was happy and Damiano, even tho she met him today, made her feel really good. Naomi couldn’t sleep that night still thinking of him and wondering why she felt so different around him.

*3 months later*

- What do you mean you don’t like Star Wars! - Damiano shouted to Naomi while they both walked towards the beach where they were supposed to watch sunset and have a little picnic.

Since the day they met they spent almost every day together. Damiano surprised her with multiple occasions to go out together, either for lunch or dinner or even breakfast when he woke up earlier than usual. He found himself falling for her. In fact he realized he fell for her the day he first laid his eyes on her. He found her funny, spontaneous and really kind and caring. When she told him about her painting dream he was so shocked she gave up, that he argued with her till he convinced her to chase the dream even if she thought it was too late. Naomi really enjoyed his company, he made her feel really happy and safe and most importantly - loved. She knew she developed some feelings and she didn’t want to admit it but at the back of her head she knew she fell in love. He made her laugh and supported her when she was having bad moments. He became her best friend at some point. Both of them were taking things a bit slower tho, they were both afraid, broken-hearted after rough ended relationships.

- I just don’t, I don’t understand how they made so many movies out of such a lame plot. - she said defending herself.

- How can you even say that! The plot is amazing! The space action scenes, come on! - he said offended but smiling.

- Yeah I just don’t see the point of filming it, that’s all.

- I don’t know how Victoria can still be friends with you, we’re both huge fans of Star Wars! You’re lucky I like you - Damiano started laughing and put his arm around Naomi’s shoulders.

She got to meet Victoria, Ethan and Thomas. Bassist, drummer and guitarist of their band Måneskin. Naomi wasn’t really into music so she didn’t really know them and didn’t know they’re pretty known here in Italy. Victoria was the kindest person Naomi could ever see. When her and Damiano stepped into the studio where they were recording, Vic was the first to reach out to her. She hugged her tightly and was clearly really happy to meet her. She then introduced Thomas and Ethan to her. Thomas started joking around that Damiano finally found himself a girlfriend and Ethan was really polite, he kissed Naomi’s hand and hugged her too, smiling really kindly. They were all so nice. They started inviting her over for dinners or just to hang out by the pool. She also listened to them playing and recording their new songs. Damiano told them that she wanted to be a painter and they all started reassuring her even more, that chasing her dream is the best thing for her and that she should never give up. Naomi really felt like she finally found her place.

Naomi and Damiano reached the beach, they put the blanket on the sand, put out all the food from the basket and they sat opposite each other. They were both smiling widely and chatting about everything. They drank some wine, ate some pasta and then they sat next to each other admiring the sunset.

- I really like you, you know? - Damiano said glancing at Naomi. - And I mean, I like you a lot. You’re really an amazing person with so much talent and you’re just so caring and loving. You really make me happy. - he said not taking his eyes off of her.

- Dami.. - Naomi started but she was interrupted.

- What I want to say is.. - he took her hands - I fell in love with you Naomi. I fell for you hard and I’m pretty sure since the day I saw you at that café. I care about you so much and any time with you is my favorite time in the world. So if you want to.. We could try, you know.. Being together, like, in a relationship. - he said in one breathe.

Naomi was speechless, her stomach was squeezing and she felt her cheeks turning red. She never would have though that someone will make her feel like this again. She knew that he cares for her but she didn’t know that he would feel the same way she felt about him.

- Dami.. Of course I do want to try, you make me the happiest, and honestly I didn’t know you feel the same way, that’s why I didn’t say anything. And also because.. - Naomi wanted to tell him about Alessandro but she was scared that Damiano will back off, saying that he will give her time.

- What’s wrong, bella? - he said gently squeezing her hand.

- I was in a relationship before. His name was Alessandro and we met before I started college. We were together for 3 years and everything was going just fine. But then.. One day when I came back home earlier than usual I found him cheating with my best friend, Sofia. Since then I just decided to not get into any relationship and live only for myself because I was too afraid to get hurt again - Naomi said looking down at their intertwined hands.

- Oh bella.. - Damiano pulled her into a tight hug.

He stroked her back and her hair and he was whispering to her ear. A single tear fell down her cheek but not because she was hurt but because of how gentle and caring Damiano was. He hugged her and made her feel better and she couldn’t find herself with anyone else right now than with him. He pulled away, looked into her eyes and smiled slightly.

- I was in a relationship too a while ago. It turned out we didn’t match and our life goals and perspectives were so different that we decided to end things. Maybe it wasn’t as harsh as your breakup but I felt awful for at least a month. I didn’t go out of my room and I lost all will to write music. Victoria brought me food every day but I just didn’t want to eat. But it all passed.. Listen, if you need more time it’s all good, I’ll give you space and I’ll wait till you’re ready.

Naomi was silent for a couple of seconds. In her head there was a battle. She wanted to let go of bad memories and trust Damiano completely, start a relationship with him, but on the other hand she was scared to get hurt again.

- No Dami. I don’t need time, I know what I want and I know how you make me feel and that’s why I want to try. - Naomi said hugging him tightly.

She knew she just overcame her fear and she felt free. Like a huge stone fell off of her heart. She felt amazing and she wanted to live this moment as long as she could. Damiano pulled away and cupped her cheek with his hand. He pulled her closer and she could feel his breath on her face. Slowly, but slightly Damiano leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. Naomi touched his cheek and pulled him even closer. And then they both intertwined their lips in a gentle, yet passionate kiss.

Naomi felt her stomach squeezing when Damiano put his hand on her back. It was their first kiss and the sunset was almost turning into the night. They pulled away after seconds and smiled widely at each other.

- I promise, I’ll always take care of you. - Damiano said leaning his forehead against hers.

- Always. - Naomi said grabbing his hand and intertwining their fingers together.

That’s when they both knew that they found soulmates in each other.

#damiano david #ethan torchio #i wanna be your slave #italy #maneskin #måneskin #thomas raggi #victoria de angelis #zitti e buoni #torna a casa #vent'anni #vocalist #guitarist #bassist #drummer #fanfic #damiano david fanfiction #one shot #damiano david one shot

[kerie-prince]

We're Worlds Apart (8)

Draco Malfoy x American No-Maj!reader

series m.list | general m.list | previous chp

warnings: mentions of smoking, mentions of death

summary: Draco Malfoy is a pureblood wizard. Magic runs through his veins and has been since his birth. You're a Wiccan No-Maj; a non-magical being with ordinary blood through your veins, but practices what you call magick. And this very practice upsets your neighbor.

a/n: god, i had MAJOR writers block for this chapter. i almost got lost in the direction i wanted this series to go and i'm still figuring out a way on how to not let this drag out too long. i'm debating on adding this to wattpad but i don't know how to make aesthetically pleasing cover art so if anyone could teach a bitch how, lmk ✋🏼😩

(gif cred)

Blaise has been acting differently than usual. Not that you had too many complaints considering that you hardly knew him. Better words would be that from the short time you knew him, he started acting different. What was once two nights a week turned into him staying with you almost everyday.

It was kind of annoying, actually. He was here to see Draco, not some random person he just met.

One morning, he got up early and tried to make breakfast, but he had no idea how to work any of the muggle items so rather than your alarm on your bed stand you woke up to the smoke alarm.

You woke up feeling groggy but had a pleasant soreness on your inner thighs. Before you even brushed your hair or teeth, you rushed as much as you could to see what was going on in your house. When you stepped into your kitchen, your toaster was on fire and there was smoke everywhere. Blaise was just standing by it scratching his head. It woke you right up; you ran to your small laundry room and snatched the fire hydrant.

After you put the fire out, you turned to Blaise, “What the hell happened?”

“I guess now would be a bad time to ask you to make breakfast?” He didn't really show that he was sorry. Maybe on the inside he was, but would it kill him to show it? You rubbed the temple of your nose bridge to smooth out the growing headache. Now you have to buy a new toaster and make food for this man.

The bell rang through your house in the early morning. You set the fire hydrant on the counter and walked to the front door to see who it was that was outside. Probably, no, hopefully Theo coming to pick his best friend up to take him out to go anywhere else that wasn't your house.

Fate was decidedly not on your side today. The person that stood on your porch was none other than your mother. “Ma? What are you doing here?”

“Don’t be rude, baby,” she let herself in just like she used to walk into your room when you were younger living in her house. She looked around and had a scrunched up look. “Y/N, what is burning?”

Just when the situation couldn't get any worse, Blaise walked out to the living room also assuming Theo was here to see him. It donned on you now that Blaise was shirtless and his pajama silk bottoms were sitting dangerously low on his hips. You were glad that he was wearing underwear or else your mother would see more than she needed to.

Blaise stood shockingly still and wasn't sure what to do, so he just did the first thing that came to mind. “Hello, I'm Blaise. Nice to meet you,” he held his hand out for your mother to shake.

She stood with a look of horror on her face and kept her hands to her side. As if it was natural, she gave you a disapproving look before looking back at the man in your house. Blaise retracted his hand and looked at you, “I'll just be at Draco’s then.”

You nodded and stayed with your mother as he put on his shirt in your room and left. “Y/N… what are you doing?”

“I could ask you the same thing. Isn't it a long ride from Boston?” you sassed.

“Don't give me that. I wanted to come see you and… and I wanted to say that I’m sorry.” You could tell that it was really hard for her to say the last bit. “I shouldn't have acted the way I acted on Thanksgiving.”

“What happened, ma?” you asked with your arms crossed, “I know it's not because of Stephanie also practicing Wicca. And if it is, then I really don't understand.”

“I just… why are you still doing this? All of this? I get that you wanted to be closer to your grandmother so I let you do whatever you wanted–”

“You let me? You make it sound like this is some hobby!” you yelled.

“IT IS A HOBBY,” she animated with her arms, “Y/N, you are 26 years old. When are you going to move on?”

“This is ridiculous, I need you to leave,” you began to escort your mother out of your house. “No, I’m staying. This was my house–”

“No, it was Grandma’s house and now it’s mine. Goodbye, mother,” you closed the door in her face and turned against it to lean on your back. Your face was in your hands and you wanted to scream.

You checked the time on your oven and saw you still had 45 extra minutes to do whatever you wanted before you had to get ready to open the store. Since Blaise has been over everyday and you haven't opened up to him about your practice, you wanted to spend extra time to soothe all the negative and stressful energy that was building up inside you.

The closet hadn't been opened in a few days and once you were facing all your herbs, crystals, and oils, you immediately felt better.

“It's been a while, girls,” you spoke to yourself. You grabbed some oils, a sage and crystals to get ready. And you had lots of work to do.

—

“Alright, you are good to go,” Draco released a child with their parents. Work has since died down since the huge fiasco earlier in the month. There was still the question as to who and why it all happened, but he decidedly let it go for now.

Recently, he's been getting closer with you with small chats every now and then since the day in Manhattan. Draco deemed you as now ‘okay’ in his book. Your chats were simple but not bad.

One thing that for sure was odd was Blaise suddenly staying there every night. He never got an explanation, nor has he ever asked him. Blaise was acting kind of strange, but Draco liked to think it was due to being homesick.

Thirteen hours had passed and Draco’s day would finally come to an end. Ian and Ashley asked him if he'd like to join them on a drink, but he declined. Theo called him and let him know that Blaise was home, so he was going to drink with the two of them. He had yet to introduce his work friends with his best friends and was planning to before they went back to London.

As he pulled up home, he saw you sitting alone on your porch. You had a stoic look on your face and had a cigarette in between your fingers. Draco didn't think you smoked at all. He has never seen you do it once in the months living next to you.

He figured he’d just be a good neighbor and say hello. He walked over and knocked on the wooden porch to gain your attention. You were pulled out of whatever thought you were in the middle of and looked at him. “Oh, hi,” you greeted without your usual enthusiasm.

Draco went through his coat pockets for his own pack and pulled one out. He then realized that he didn't have one of those muggle lighters and tried to figure out how to light his smoke without magic like he usually did.

To you, it seemed that he just forgot a lighter so you pulled out yours and gestured for Draco to come closer. He leaned in and accepted it, “I didn't know you smoked.”

You chuckled to yourself, “Yeah, I uh, quit a year ago.”

Draco raised an eyebrow, “You don't look like you quit.” He took a couple puffs of his cigarette and looked out on the street. You took a particularly long puff and slowly let the smoke out of your lips, “Well, when you have a mom like mine, you start up old habits again.”

“You’ve never met my father,” Draco commented under his breath, “She seemed nice when I met her.”

“She's nice to everyone but her own daughter,” you rolled your eyes. You let your cigarette out and almost started another one, but something stopped you. You leaned back into your chair and closed your eyes.

“Have you two always fought?” Draco asked. You kept at your position but opened your eyes. You gave it some thought before eventually nodding ‘yes’. “What about your father?”

The question seemed to have affected you; your eyes started getting glossy and your bottom lip quivered. Draco noticed. Should I not have asked that?

“He passed away when I was 12,” you sounded like your breath was cut short. Your hands reached up to cover your eyes and wipe away any tears before they could fall down.

As much as Draco and Lucius never saw eye to eye, he couldn't really imagine losing his father. Sure, Lucius was harsh on his son and always compared him to Potter, but Draco still cared about him. And he knew that Lucius loved him in his own way. Maybe you weren't all that different.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Draco consoled. You stood up to go inside. The weather was cold and your cashmere sweater wasn't doing you any good. “Thank you.” Draco let his cigarette out and told you ‘Good night’ before leaving.

Stepping down, he looked back and called for you, “Y/N.” You hadn't closed the door yet, so you looked back with your door held by your hand, waiting for whatever Draco had to say. “If you ever need to talk… I'm right next door.”

It surprised you to say the least. But it unexpectedly made you warm on the inside. “Thank you, Dray.” He nodded and waved before going home.

Inside, Theo sat on one of the chairs in the kitchen eating leftovers from the night before and Blaise was going through the Daily Prophet. “How was work?” the latter friend asked.

“Alright. Good to see you here for once,” Draco greeted. Blaise laughed without taking his eyes off the paper, “Can't a man be with his girlfriend before he leaves?”

“Ha, is that what you two are?” Theo teased from across the room with his mouth stuffed, “Look at Blaise; he finally settled down. Hell has officially frozen over.”

Blaise listed one hand to flip off Theo. Draco, however, felt a churn in his stomach. It was weird to hear Blaise call you his girlfriend. No one has gotten Blaise to call them that, but somehow you did it.

He wasn't really sure Blaise even knew what it meant to have a girlfriend, or even how to be a boyfriend. He never asked what they did knowing that he'd get endless teasing.

Draco grumbled to himself and went to his room. He changed into comfortable clothes and right when he was about to join Theo in the kitchen, he looked at his window for a moment. He peeked through his window and saw you through yours.

You sat on your bed with your legs up to your chest and your arms wrapped them close. Your face had no expression on it, but considering the conversation less than an hour ago, one could assume that you were sad.

“You fancy her, don't you?” Blaise surprised Draco, making the blond jump. “Merlin, Blaise, don't do that.”

“Well?” Blaise stood against the open door with arms and legs crossed. Draco rolled his eyes and walked towards the door, but Blaise didn't budge from his position. “I don't fancy anybody, now move.”

“I don't care if you do. But I do care when you lie to me. And yourself,” Blaise’s tone was threatening.

“Shouldn't you fancy her? She's your girlfriend,” Draco matched his tone. “Besides, if she was, shouldn't you be pissed if I did?”

“I do fancy her, but I'm not the one living next to her. Eventually, I'm leaving,” Blaise reminded his best friend. “So do us the favor and figure out whatever it is you want, or I'll find a reason to stay.” With that, Blaise left to his shared room and slammed the door.

What in Salazar is his deal? Draco thought. He walked up to his fridge and rummaged through all the containers of leftover food. I really need to learn how to cook.

Theo was still eating when he started talking, “Blaise has been pissy all day. What you reckon is his deal?”

“‘M gonna guess there's trouble in paradise and she's sick of him,” Draco jokes. His eyes land on the Chinese food from a couple nights ago and warms it up with his wand.

“Hm, as if,” Theo commented. He cleaned his mess up when he finished and turned to Draco. “Night, mate. Fingers crossed he doesn't yell at me and I have to sleep on the couch.”

“Night,” Draco replied and sat down on one of the high chairs. He thought a lot about you telling him about your father. He sat and wondered if you told Blaise. Maybe you even opened up to him about your… craft? Draco didn't know what to call it yet.

But he figured that if you did, Draco would be the first person Blaise would tell. And seeing as even Theo, the biggest mouth between the three, hasn't said anything, then that meant that you probably hadn't told Blaise.

And for a quick second, passing just as quickly as it came, he wondered if you would tell him first.

—

It was currently December 18th. Your dad's birthday. Usually you'd ride with your mother to his stone in Boston, but seeing as your latest argument was bothering you, staring at photos of him was going to be enough today.

You hardly remembered much about him since you were young, but you remember the good moments and some of the bad. The bad being the last of his days. His cancer was strong as it was caught too late by doctors.

The store was closed today per usual. You never had it opened on his birthday. Blaise was also at Draco's house. You'd ask him to have the day to yourself and when he asked why, you didn't explain.

Your door bell rang and you groaned, hoping it wasn't your mother again.

"Hey," your brother greeted you. "Y/B/N, hey. Come in, you're probably freezing." Inside, he took his jacket off and hung it on your coat rack. He sat on the couch and your cat ran to sit on his lap. "Sometimes, I think she likes you more than me," you chuckled as your brother gave her head strokes and she purred loudly.

"How come you're by yourself? We missed you today," your brother asked. You sat beside him and closed the photo book. "I didn't feel like fighting with mom again today."

"Y/N/N, I know she's hard to handle, but she needed you today," he reached out for your hand and squeezed it. "I needed you, too."

"Well, she has a funny way of showing it," you stared into nothing. You rested your head on his shoulder and wrapped your throw blanket over your shoulders. "Sometimes, I almost forget what he's like. His laugh, how he made Ma smile. How he smelled," you started.

Your brother was 8 when your dad died, so his memory was limited. But he still remembers how much he loved him. You both sat in silence, hands locked and the only sound being your cats purring.

"Mom told me you have a boyfriend. That true?" he asked.

"I don't know. Maybe? He hasn't said anything, and he leaves after New Years, so maybe not," you half-explained. What was Blaise to you? Did he feel anything when you were together? Was it just physical? You didn't know, and you never asked.

"Well, if he breaks your heart, I don't care where he lives. I'm beating his ass," your brother commented. You hit his shoulder and he laughed. "How's Steph? I haven't been able to call her," you asked.

"Oh. Um, we're taking a break." Your brother sounded sad. You sat up and looked at your baby brother. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I think Mom just spooked her. But I'll get her back," he sounded only partly sure of himself. You nodded and rested back on his shoulder. He stayed for a few hours; watched a movie and had dinner before he left back for Boston to see your mom once more.

When he left, you sat in your room and lit up some incense to calm your nerves. Out your window, Draco's curtains were closed as usual. Something inside you wanted to talk to someone that wasn't your brother, Blaise, or even Miranda and Bianca.

It wasn't that Draco wasn't the best of friends, but you had an indescribable pull towards him, and you wondered if it was the same for him.

—

next chp

(っ◔◡◔)っ taglist: @beiahadid @malfoy-styles-wife @fivenightslaughter @juneballoon999 @leydileyla @fangirlanotherjust @originalsoulcollector @opiomancy @lipstickandloveletters @ninacotte @daedric-sorceress @frecklesandfirecrackers @hahee154hq @disartrous @oh-those-barricade-boys @lunalovecroft @bornforfangirling @c4th3r1ne @burnin-passion

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy angst #draco malfoy au #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy x muggle!reader #draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy x female reader #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy smut #draco malfoy series #draco x you #draco x y/n #draco x muggle!reader #draco x female reader #draco x reader

[elliewritessometimes]

hi! i have Returned™ with a prompt from the lovely @notsomightymightytiger that has been sat in my inbox for well over two months oops im sorry-

the prompts relate to a hospital au and a sick/injury fic and i hope this is okay!!! love you kiera <3

tw: hospitals, injury, sickness it's all fairly minor though there's nothing at all graphic but do be careful take care lovelies

-

Eva Sanchez, in all her eleven year old glory, was more than used to hospitals. Sometimes, old people (in her mind, anyone over the age of 27) would be "so awfully sad" over the weeks she'd spent in a ward. But, to Eva, it was kind of normal. It wasn't exactly fun, but it was her life and she was fine with it.

Tonight, she couldn't sleep.

Earlier, this kid probably about Eva's age had come in, all bruised circles under eyes and rude words towards the nurses. Eva had listened over the gentle chatter of her own grandmother as the dark-haired girl had spoken in a voice filled with hurt to a tall couple who must have been her parents. If she strained her ears over the buzzing of a children's ward, she could hear the angry whispers between the adults and child, before this sour-mouthed, lonely patient had been left alone overnight, refusing comfort from Eva's favourite nurses. Eva felt like she should have been repulsed by this outwardly spiteful girl, but instead she was only curious, sneaking glances at her between curtains as though her eyes were magnetised to theirs.

She was pretty.

Eva liked their eyes.

For once, the ward was quiet. Eva's mother slept in a tiny put-up bed beside hers and once again her drowsy but not yet sleepy mind was focused on the angry patient from earlier. She wondered if their parents had come back or if she was still alone across the room.

Maybe she was a little delirious, or still suffering the after effects of her earlier treatment, but Eva found herself desperately struggling out from bed, pulling a blanket down with her and shuffling as quietly as possible across the ward to the other girl's bed. It was naughty and against all the rules, but Eva knew that if she wanted to sleep tonight, she had to know that the kid was okay.

She slipped past the curtain, trying to be as quiet as possible. Obviously, that didn't work.

"Hello."

Eva jumped, spinning around to see as her target leant up in bed, a hand steadying her head. "Hi, sorry, I- I just wanted to check- I mean, I don't even know you, but- I thought-"

She stopped rambling, taking a breath before beginning again. "I'm Eva."

"Kate." The girl - Kate - raised her eyebrows. "Who are you?"

"I'm on the ward too. I saw you arrive." Eva's feet were getting cold.

"Oh. You were watching me," said Kate, filterless.

"Yeah, your parents seemed kinda mad," Eva replied, also filterless. "I came over 'cause I was a bit worried."

"I'm fine."

Eva's heart dropped. She'd expected to feel a little more wanted. With a sigh, she turned to go back to bed. "Oh. Okay, then. Bye."

She tiptoed away, just closing Kate's curtain again when - "Wait! Eva, no, come back!" Kate's voice was a hushed shout. Eva spun around, narrowing her eyes until they continued. "I didn't mean go."

"Oh." Eva paused at the curtain, narrowing her eyes. Her head span a little, maybe from illness, maybe from the sudden change in attitude from Kate. "Okay."

"Sorry."

"Are you okay?"

Kate only nodded.

Still leaning a little on the curtain, Eva decided to change the subject, "Why were your parents so mean?"

Kate shrugged. "They got mad because I got a concussion. Apparently, it's my fault that this girl at gymnastics made me jump so I slipped and bashed my head in." They rubbed their head where they'd hit it, wincing a little before shaking it off to continue. "My brother says our parents just suck anyway. And he should know 'cause he's sixteen."

Eva nodded sagely; sixteen was almost an adult. She thought that she would know everything there was to know when she was sixteen.

"Anyway," Kate continued speaking. Apparently she was chatty once you got her going. Eva liked this about them - it was nice to not have to be the one doing all the talking. "Why are you here?"

"I'm sick." Eva didn't expand on it, overtaken with tiredness suddenly. "I'm here a lot."

Kate squinted suspiciously at her. "Oh. Fair enough." The squinting increased, enough so Eva could see the wheels turning in their head. Eva almost turned and left to prevent the inevitable questioning. Shockingly, it didn't come. Instead, Kate got slowly out of bed, padding across the floor to put a hand at Eva's elbow. "You're shaking."

Eva's brain short-circuited over Kate's acceptance and lack of inquiry. She opened her mouth to protest, before closing it again and taking a breath. She was, in fact, shivering. "You know when you've been awake for so long that every time you yawn, you start shaking?" She waited for Kate to nod. "That's me right now."

Kate smiled, slipping their hand into hers. "Come on." Together, they slowly made their way over to Kate's bed, slipping under the covers.

Eva yawned, prompting another roll of shivers, subconsciously tightening her grasp on Kate's hand as she did so. Trying not to put too much pressure on her sore head, Kate tilted their head towards the other girl. "This is weird."

"Yeah." Happily content that her worries from earlier were unfounded, Eva really wanted to go to sleep now. She fought to keep her eyes open, grinning when Kate giggled.

"You're so tired!" Kate obviously wasn't.

"Mhm."

"Don't go to sleep yet. You can't come over here, wake me up, get in my bed, and then go straight to sleep." She could hear them pout. "That's unfair." Eva hummed a vague response. "I'm gonna be here for all of tomorrow according to the doctor and you're here all the time, so tell me something that'll make it better."

Eva blinked open one eye. "Okay. Sure." She thought for a while. "I have these tiger toys called Giles and Corey. My tía got them for me when I first got sick to remind me to eat and drink enough." Closing her eye again, she gestured in the direction of her bed. "The ginger one is Giles, he reminds me to drink water in case I forget. The other one, the black one, is Corey-" She was cut off by a yawn.

Kate grinned sleepily. "That's so cool. I think you're cool."

"Thanks." Eva shoved her face deeper into the pillow to hide her smile. "You're cool too."

"What does Corey do?" Despite their head injury and earlier angry demeanor, Kate was surprisingly animated over these two cuddly toys. "Oooh! Does he have superpowers??? Can they fly?"

Eva laughed, "No... Corey just reminds me to eat my meals."

"Wow." Eva's yawn caught up to Kate. "You gotta show me them tomorrow." She closed her eyes along with Eva, still holding her hand under the duvet. "My parents are gonna see that I can have a concussion and still be fabulous."

"Hell yeah, you can." Shivering still, Eva shuffled closer. "We're gonna be the most fabulous friends ever."

#!!! #this has taken so so long to write im so glad its done i hope its okay #we are the tigers #kate dalton #eva sanchez #kateva #hospital tw #injury tw #illness tw #sickness tw #kiera (yay for gay)

[auroracalisto]

something there—chapter one

summary: the reader is a part of a great prophecy revealed to geralt and jaskier by an unnamed witch.  the only problem?  well, see, there’s multiple.  she doesn’t believe that it’s her, and she lives in 2020.

pairing: hinted jaskier x geralt, nothing really more than that, future jaskier x reader x geralt

word count: 1.7k words

warnings: mmmmm cussing.  like i probs dropped the f-bomb five times in one sentence.  female reader.  other than that, nothing.

author’s notes: i legit got this idea while driving home after work and it took me forever to figure out what i want to do with this (at least with the first chapter).  i hope to continue this, but i’m not sure how often i’ll be able to pump out parts for this.  i am super excited for this tho.  i cannot tell you how many geralt and jaskier stories i have read....... and we are not going to discuss this here.  i hope you all enjoy!!!  also i’m trying out a different format for my posts?  summary + little snippet of story if it’s a longer one?  and then the pushed out part uh

"Aren't prophecies supposed to rhyme?"

The witch looked at Geralt with an exasperated expression, before she cleared her throat.  "The two of you," she said, looking at both the Witcher and the bard, "need to find a girl with a profound knowledge in music and storytelling. A virgin maiden from lands far, far away, with a heart big enough for two others."

Jaskier looked towards Geralt, a confused look spread across his face.  

"She will help you find what it is you're looking for," she said, pointing towards the Witcher as she spoke.  "When you wake, the two of you will be teleported to her lands.  Her heart is pure enough to help you with your journey.  Her soul as pure as the driven snow.  You will have two weeks to convince her to travel back with you, and you will be able to continue with your own travels.  Or, you will be stuck in her lands until someone from our world goes searching for the lost Witcher and his bard."

"Woah, woah, woah," Jaskier held up his hands, frowning deeply at the woman.  "Teleported?  Her world—pardon?"

The witch just smiled at him.  In just a moment's time, she disappeared from in front of the two and Jaskier and Geralt were left, stewing in the prophecy she left them with.  

[]

[Your name] woke to the soft chirping of birds coming from the outside of her window.  She slowly peeled her eyes open, groaning softly.  She had stayed up until five in the morning, once again, working on a never-ending project.  It was only ten in the morning, but she had to be awake so she could call her boss and figure out what it is that she needed to do next.  The woman slowly got out of bed and placed her feet on the bed.  However, she took one step forward and she went tumbling to the floor after tripping over someone.  

"What the—"

[Your name] quickly turned around and her eyes grew wide at the sight of a man lying in her floor.  He had quickly sat up, knocking his head against her bedside table.  With a groan, he put a hand to his forehead, looking around.  His face grew pale.  "What—"

"Who the fuck are you?" [Your name] quickly asked, scrambling to her feet.  She took a couple of steps back, her heart pounding in her chest.  

The man's eyes widened as he looked over at the woman.  She began to notice how he was dressed—it reminded her of the old historical dramas she used to watch every Sunday with her grandmother.  

"Who the fuck are you?" [Your name] repeated.  

"Jaskier..."

"Okay, Jaskier, why the fuck are you in my bedroom?"

He let out a curt laugh and he leaned himself up against her bed.  "How the hell am I supposed—" he stopped himself, hurriedly getting to his feet.  "Geralt?!"

"What?" [Your name] paled.  There was another man in her apartment?  Not to mention, her quite run down apartment?

White hair became visible in her line of vision and she quickly backed up to her wall.  "What the fuck?" she breathed out.  "Who the fuck are you?  How did you get in my house?  Where's my fucking phone?"

[Your name] quickly rushed to her bedside table, grabbing it off of the charger.  She went to dial 911, only to discover that her phone was completely shut off.  The black screen never lit up.  She looked towards the men, trembling.  

The white haired man, known as Geralt, began to frown.  "We need to talk to you."

"How the fuck did you get in my house?" Geralt frowned even more.  "A witch."

[Your name] blinked a couple of times.  "Excuse me?  Are you fucking dumb?"

Jaskier snorted under his breath as he looked over at the Witcher.  

"No.  I'm not.  We need to talk to you."

[Your name] looked back down on her phone, just to make sure it wasn't just lagging.  It was an old phone, and sometimes, it would do that.  She clenched her jaw and closed her eyes.  She had nothing anymore—no family, a crappy apartment, and an especially crappy job that she was constantly pulling all-nighters for.  [Your name]'s gaze switched from Jaskier to Geralt before she gave a small nod.  

"I... fine," [Your name] said, swallowing thickly.  "Fine.  But," she looked down at her clothes and blushed even more.  "Get out of my room.  I need to at least change my clothes—"

"—that's what you're calling that?" Jaskier smirked at her.

Her eyes widened and she nearly shoved his arm.  "Get out."

Geralt had already left, and Jaskier couldn't help but let out a soft laugh.  He left the room.  [Your name] quickly shut the door and pressed her back up against the wood.  Her heart throbbed in her ears and throughout her body.  Surely, she was just hallucinating and having a heart attack.  A stroke, maybe.  Could it have been a manic episode?  

[Your name] went over to her clothes and quickly pulled out a pair of jeans and an over sized hoodie.  She combed out her hair and ran to the bathroom to brush her teeth before she came out into the hallway.  The men weren't there.  Perhaps it truly was just a bad dream.  She frowned and walked out to her living room/dining room/kitchen—three in one.  She saw the two sitting at the table.  Jaskier had quickly pulled his hand away from Geralt's, who just pulled his hand closer to his body rather than completely pull it off the table.  [Your name] blushed and went towards her kitchen.  

"Do you... do you guys want anything?"

"Being hospitable now, are we?" Jaskier sent her a smile.  

"You're both sitting at my dining room table.  Why wouldn't I?"

Jaskier rose his eyebrow, but he didn't say anything else.  

While she made a pot of coffee, he curiously watched her while Geralt looked around her small home.  He had quite a few comments to make, but his face would never show it.  [Your name] poured herself a cup of coffee and made it just how she liked before she hesitantly came over and sat down across from the two.  She cleared her throat, her finger tips gently tapping at the warmed mug before she spoke.  

"Who are the two of you?"

"Geralt of Rivia.  This is Jaskier."

She rose an eyebrow, slightly nodding.  "My name is [Your name]."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Jaskier grinned, "[Your name].

"Wish I could say the same," she meekly grinned.  "Can you please tell me how you got in my apartment?"

"Like I said," Geralt cleared his throat.  His voice was deep—part of [Your name] wanted to melt at the sound.  "A witch sent us."

[Your name] fought the urge to roll her eyes, but this did not go unnoticed by the Witcher.  He kept his eyes on her, quiet as he did so.  

"A witch sent you.  To my cheap ass apartment.  Likely story."

"He's not lying," Jaskier said.  "He's telling nothing but the truth."

"Yeah?"  This time, she did roll her eyes.  "Prove it."

"Our clothes are not enough?" Geralt asked.  "You are not from the lands we hail from.."

[Your name] looked at their clothes once more.  She had noticed Jaskier's earlier, but the more she looked, she realized how old fashioned they looked—how worn they seemed.  [Your name] crossed her arms over her chest.  She hesitantly looked towards Geralt and gave a small nod.  

"Alright.  I'm listening."

Geralt looked towards Jaskier.  Jaskier returned his gaze and he pursed his lips.  

"Are you going to tell her?"

Geralt huffed softly.  "Yes.  This witch.  We went to her for guidance.  We've been looking for a way to defeat..." he stopped for a moment, looking at Jaskier again.  "To defeat an enemy for some time.  She sent us... here, with a prophecy."

"And?"

Geralt looked at her.  

"What's the prophecy?" she asked, sipping at her mug of coffee.  The steam rose and warmed her chilled face.  Only now did she realize how cold it had gotten in her apartment.  Her heating bill must have failed again.  She cleared her throat, looking at Geralt again.  "Well?"

He frowned.  "A virgin—" Just with that, [Your name] choked on her coffee and she began to blush.  "What?"

This caused a small smirk to form on Geralt's face.  Jaskier saw this and he couldn't help from his smile forming.  

"We are to convince a virgin maiden from lands far away to come back with us to defeat our enemy." he said.  They are profound in music and storytelling."

"Definitely not me," [Your name] blushed.  I'm not profound in anything."

"Ah, so you are a virgin?" Jaskier grinned over at her.  

[Your name] just shot him a look as her blush darkened.  "What else?" she asked, looking back at Geralt.  

"They are to have a heart big enough for two others...  I am still not quite sure what that refers to.  Her heart is pure enough to help us." the Witcher spoke.  He looked towards Jaskier once more.  

Something just told [Your name] that there was something going on between the two—the looks they continued to share made her heart melt in a good way.  Every look was filled with love—one that she wasn't familiar with, but one that she would love to learn to expect from someone.

"We have two weeks to convince her to travel back with us.  Her soul is said to be as pure as the driven snow."

"Alright, alright, but," [Your name] sat her mug down, stuffing her hands in her sweatshirt pocket to keep them warm.  "What does this have to do with me and my apartment?"

"Perhaps you are the one to help us find her," Jaskier said.  

Geralt nodded.  "That is what I have come to understand."

[Your name] tilted her head back as she thought, taking in a deep breath.  "Right.  So.  Two totally hot men show up in my house and tell me I'm supposed to help them with some damned prophecy?" [Your name] looked straight at Jaskier.  "Are you sure I'm not having a stroke?"

He stared at you for a moment before he grinned.  "Hot?  Is there a reason to refer to us as hot?"

[Your name] eyes widened a bit and she shook her head.  "Just ignore that I said that.  You don't know what it means, do you?  God," she groaned softly and squeezed her eyes shut.  Clenching her jaw, she spoke one last time before grabbing her coffee mug.  "Fine.  What is it you need me to do?"

#geralt x jaskier #geralt x reader x jaskier #geralt x reader #jaskier x reader #multipart #first chapter #the witcher #female reader #reader insert

[girlgirlgirlnormal]

Niragi x OC x Last Boss (Part 4)

Hey, I wrote another part! And this story still has no name. Also, I`m working on a small Kuina fic, because I love her very much. 

TW: Abuse, sexual content, harrassment

Word count: 2.8k

part 1 part 2 part 3

She had been spending every day with Samura and Niragi for a week now. They went regularly to games, but they never took Hina with them. They did not tell her, but she deduced from their behavior that they had thought bringing her to a game would help them protect her. The floor is lava game was not a game in which anyone could protect another person. They had been a little gentler with her. Niragi was still fucking her mercilessly every night, and Last Boss was enjoying watching it and have his way with her afterwards, but they were good to her. She got fresh fruit, and nobody came near her. She got cigarettes and birth control and everything she asked the men for.  

It was a warm night, Samura and Niragi were out with Aguni and some other militants to participate in a game. Hina had been bored in her room, so she went down to the bar by the pool and got herself a cocktail. While sipping on it she spotted Kuina, sitting on one of the loungers and talking to someone she hadn’t seen around before. She decided to join them. Kuina was nice and pretty.

She walked over and plopped down beside the girl with the short hair with whom Kuina was talking.

“Hey, I’m Hina.”, she introduced herself, extending her hand to shake the young man’s hand before stopping abruptly, “Do I know you?”, she asked, furrowing her brows.

The young man looked away shyly. That was all Hina needed to recognize him.

“I gave you a lapdance!”, she exclaimed, “You came to the club”, she thought about it, “once?”

“It was a birthday present from my friends”, the men answered, looking at his feet.

“Awww”, she cooed, “I remember you because you were so shy! You didn’t even look at me throughout the whole dance!”

The girl beside her laughed.

“These are Arisu and Usagi”, Kuina introduced them, “but I guess you already know Arisu?”

“He had my tits in his face”, Hina laughed, “I guess he hated it, but his friends were having a grant time.”

Kuina laughed, “But don’t get caught hanging out around her, her boyfriends don’t like it.”

Hinas hand automatically wandered to her hickey covered throat.

“Stop that crap music”, someone shouted, and the music was abruptly cut off.

“Those are the militant core at the beach. If you want to live in peace here, then don’t mess with them”, Kuina said, looking down, and explained them the beaches dynamics.

Hina couldn’t help but shove Usagi a little bit behind herself. She knew the militants. The only reason none of them even talked to her was that they were afraid of Niragi and Samura. Usagi was a pretty girl. They would like her. She didn’t think that she would like them back.

Aguni stopped infront of them, making Hina arch her back and lean a bit forward, trying to cover as much of Usagi as possible.

“Where is your friend?”, Aguni asked Arisu, making him look away shamefully, “Oh yeah? He’s dead? Too bad. Yet someone like you still lives.”

Samura and Niragi were standing behind Aguni, watching with interest.

“You know each other?”, Kuina asked, but no one bothered answering her.

Agunis gaze fixated on Usagi. Hina wanted to say something or do something to distract him, but she didn’t know what.

“Hey”, Aguni said, slightly turning to Niragi, “bring the woman.”

It was too late to do something. Hina wanted to give her the advice she herself had been taught at a very young age. If you can’t escape, try to enjoy it. It didn’t seem appropriate.

She watched Niragi, with his sniper over his shoulder walking over, just as he was about to grab Usagis arm Arisu sprang up.

“My boss says to bring you to him”, Niragi explained to Usagi, “get up.”

Hina could see Last Boss mouth twitching the same way it did when he watched her being taken by Niragi. They wouldn’t help this newcomer.

“Leave her!”, Arisu said, standing up and holding Niragis hand.

“Are you a tough guy?”, Niragi asked, clearly having too much fun with the situation, he turned to Aguni, “What should I do to him?”

Hina closed her eyes. This would not end good. She didn’t dare to speak up though. She was already sleeping with them to survive; she wouldn’t get herself killed over protecting a woman she had just met. She still wished she could protect her.

If you can’t escape, try to enjoy it, her grandmothers voice rang in her head.

She smiled, as she met Samuras gaze. She couldn’t enjoy the scene infront of her. She was just going to watch the man who always made sure she had something to eat and some water after he fucked her.

“Break both his legs so he dies in the next game.”, Aguni ordered.

“Good one”, Niragi looked back to the other militants, “take the woman and you come with me.”

Her eyes were still locked on Samuras, as he started walking again, following Aguni. The whole procession stopped, as Arisu ran to stand between one of the militants and Usagi. Hina could feel her hand grasping Usagis. Her friend was going to die, and she was going to be raped. There didn’t seem any other way this situation could end.

“If you can’t escape try to enjoy it”, she mumbled, low enough for only Usagi to hear.

The newcomer gave her a panicked look.

“Ooooh”, cooed Niragi, threateningly walking up to Arisu.

Hina was waiting for it to end, as a voice asked, “Is there are problem?”

She had never been so happy to see the hatter. This woman didn’t have through all the things she had gone through in the real world.

“Back off hatter, this is none of your business.”

“But this is my business. I´m the beaches leader. What I say is the law here and I´m saying that you keep your hands off the newcomers, Aguni.”

Nobody moved.

“Niragi.”, said Hatter.

Niragi looked away, “The only boss I have is the general”, he announced.

“Then I will ask the general. Who do you think is your boss, then, Aguni?”

Aguni stared in the other man’s eyes and for a moment Hina thought that he would kill him then and there.

“Shower once in a while”, hatter said dismissively and told the executive members to meet in the conference room.

Scoffing, Niragi and Samura followed Aguni, away from Hinas sight.

They wouldn’t be happy then they got back.

Arisu was invited to the meeting and left. Sawing that Chishiya was approaching, Hina said her goodbyes and went up to her room. Niragi hated that guy and didn’t want her to be near him. Normally she wouldn’t care, if she was chilling with Kuina and Chishiya joined, she just ignored him, but today was different. Niragi and Samura would be already mad then they got to her and she didn’t want to fuel their anger.

Back in Samuras room – she hadn’t gone back to her own room since her first night with them – Hina went to the small ghettoblaster and started to play her song. Daisy by Ashnikko. Since it had came out a couple of months before she found herself in the borderlands it had been the song to her signature dance. It was a nice song and it had been easy to form a persona around it. She had danced with a bright blue wig and tall “glass” platform heels. The act was so popular that they even printed a life sized poster of her dancing on the pole during that act and placed it on the most prominent wall of the club.

She used one of the bed posts as her pole and danced with closed eyes, pretending to be back in her club, with her only friend Red Diamond cheering her on. She stopped as soon as she heard the door open.

Samura and Niragi entered. Samura went to the ghettoblaster, turning it off, as Niragi stepped in her personal space, one hand tightly gripping his rifle, the other her throat.

“What were you doing with the newcomers?”, he asked, squeezing her throat.

She didn’t even try to answer. He was squeezing too hard for her to be able to speak anyway. She just looked up at him, trying to hold her breath. Fighting him or trying to somehow breath through her squeezed airpipe would make her look pathetic. If he wanted an answer, he had to stop choking her. She was already feeling a bit lightheaded, as Niragi let go, shoving her onto the bed.

“I had just joined them. The man, Arisu, I know him from before. He came to the club once.”, she explained.

“Once?”, Niragi said, face dangerously near hers, “Why would you remember someone who came to your club once?”

She had told them about being a stripper. No more or no less. They didn’t want to hear about it. They didn’t even make her dance for themselves. They didn’t talk about their lives before the borderlands and they were not interested in hearing Hinas story.

“Because he was so shy”, Hina explained, she caught herself smiling at the memory, it had been a busy day and he had been dragged there by his friends who were insisting on paying for a lapdance for him, “I gave him a lapdance and he didn’t even look at me. A true gentleman.”

Niragi slapped her cheek. Hard.

“A true gentleman”, he mimicked her in a high-pitched voice and slapped her again.

This time Hina could not stop herself from reaching to her burning cheek. She did not stop looking into his eyes, even though she could feel tears pooling in her eyes. They had been so much gentler with her and now everything was ruined, just because she talked to some people?

“If you can´t escape, try to enjoy it”, Samura quoted her words from earlier.

How did he hear that?

“Is that how you feel about us?”, he asked.

She saw up to him. He was still wearing his hood and his katana was strapped to his back. Niragi was still holding his rifle. Normally they took off their weapons as soon as they entered the room and started kissing her. She couldn’t believe that talking to someone had changed that.

Hand still on her cheek she shook her head, “Its just something I was taught in the old world.”

“Who taught you that?”

“My grandmother”, the tears were no longer just pooling in her eyes, they were flowing freely down her cheeks.

“Why?”

“Because things like that happen all the time”, Hinas voice had no emotion in it.  It was just a fact. It had happened to her and so many people she knew.

“Did someone hurt you?”, Samuras voice was much softer than compared to his other questions.

Just 15 minutes ago he had enjoyed watching Niragi pull away Usagi to be met with that faith and now he had the nerve to sound concerned?

“You mean someone who is not the two of you?”, she asked, voice still not betraying any emotion, “Yes. Many times. And you are hurting me too.”

Niragis hand was on her jaw before she could say anything else, he was holding her tight and watched her face for a moment before licking a long streak on her face, collecting some of the tears, “But princess”, he whispered, “You agreed to this and we’ve been awfully nice to you.”

She couldn’t help but scoff, “You can be gentle but contrary to popular believe, I do not enjoy being hit.”

Niragis eyes were closed as he licked the other side of her face. Samura was watching them.

“Has someone on the beach hurt you?”

“They tried.”, she answered, “I got away.”

“Do you want to go back to your room?”, Samura asked, hood still up.

Niragis hold was too tight and she would have bruises all over her face the next day. She shook her head.

“I don’t want to be alone”, she whispered.

Samura finally took off his hood and unstrapped his katana, gently putting it on the sideboard. He sat down next to her on the bed and kissed her shoulder.

“You look exhausted”, he said, shooting Niragi a look, “Maybe we shouldn’t play tonight.”

Niragi frowned but let go of her jaw.

“I would have enjoyed that”, he murmured.

“Remember what we said, Niragi”, Last Boss said, “She is ours. We will treat her good and she will stay ours. She doesn’t look like she can handle it today. We don’t want to break our doll.”

Hina felt so thankful. They had been fucking her every night since their first night. She couldn’t understand how they were always so horny. Sure, she enjoyed it. Sometimes at least. Then she was not being hit, choked or pounded so mercilessly that she could feel her insides tearing, but that was always Niragi and he always stopped then she started screaming in pain.

How messed up did she have to be to see that as a good sign?

“Lets just go to bed”, Samura declared, placing a small kiss on the top of her head, “and tomorrow we will continue talking about this.”

They let her change into one of Samuras shirts as they undressed. They slept only with underwear, most of the time even naked. After a good session none of them wanted to move much.

She laid down in the middle of the king-sized bed and let Samura hug her to his his chest. The mattress caved behind her, as Niragi joined them, cuddling up to her back.

“Maybe we should establish some safe words tomorrow”, Niragi mumbled into her shoulder, “Would you feel safer that way?”

Hina nodded, “I don’t mind you being rough in bed. I just don’t want you to slap and beat me outside of it”, she whispered letting herself being cradled between them, “My boyfriend used to do that.”, she thought for a moment, choosing Samuras words to describe it, “He hurt me. A lot. Every day. I don’t want to fear you like I feared him. I don’t want to be paraded around like a prized dog.”

“Good”, Samura answered, nuzzling his face in her hair, and taking a deep breath, “You won’t have to.”

Normally, Hina was the last one to fall asleep. She would stay awake and lick her wounds and sleep much later than the men. This day, she fell asleep first. She wouldn’t say that she felt safe with them. She just didn’t feel like she was in immediate danger between them.

As she woke up the next morning, she was alone in bed. Neither the men she had gone to bed with nor their weapons there anywhere in sight. Sighing she sat up. She should get dressed and go down to the pool to get some breakfast. Pulling Samuras shirt off she got dressed in her red bikini and put on her flip-flops. She quickly brushed her hair and made her way down. As she stopped by the bar to get herself a fruit bowl, she spotted Last Boss and Niragi sitting in the VIP section with some other militants. She took the small bowl from the bartender, whose job included serving food at mealtimes, and made her way to them.

“Good morning”, she greeted them, sitting down between them.

They wished her a good morning and went back to eating their own breakfast. They didn’t touch her. That was weird. Normally they were not able to keep their hands off her. They would always touch her legs, her face or her back. Now it was nothing. She started eating but continued watching the man.

“What’s wrong?”, Niragi asked frowning.

She stared at him. Then she stared at Samura, who was also staring at her.

“What do you mean? What’s wrong with you two?”, Hina was wondering if she shouldn’t have told them what she did the night before. Did that make them not want her anymore? Would they drop her or leave her to die as soon as the next game came?

“You wanted us to behave like gentleman”, Samura explained, “Not to behave like your boyfriend. We are doing our best.”

She looked at him. He looked like he was being genuine. They had listened to her and they were ready to change their behavior.

“We`ll talk about it later, in the room. We still have to find a safe word.”, Niragi reminded her, “Eat.”

#alice in borderland #suguru niragi #niragi #niragi x reader #last boss #last boss x reader #takatora samura #aib #chishiya #The Beach #Dori Sakurada #shuntaro yanagi #kuina #hikari kuina #aib ff

[emotionallyabuseddaughter]

Word vomit update.

So. This year has been quite the rollercoaster concerning my relationship with my mom. She’s experienced a lot of loss in general, but after 3 long years of being my grandmother’s power of attorney as she declined in her nursing home we’ve experienced the greatest loss yet.

And I knew this was going to be tough on us but in different ways- my grandmother was part of my mom’s daily routine: advocating for her, checking on her, visiting/facetiming with her. For me, my grandmother had a caregiver-like role when I was very young, watching me while my mom worked. Always heavily involved in my life events growing up (dance recitals, sports, Girl Scouts, graduation, gave me her old car as my first). We had a great relationship and she was the funniest, wittiest, kindest lady ever. But as I moved through college and adulthood I saw her less and less, and she lost her ability to speak eventually. So she was much less a part of my routine, not for lack of love though.

So while my mom is mourning the loss of her presence and changes to her daily routine involving her, and probably regrets about their relationship, I was feeling conflicted about how to help my mom and support her and still set boundaries and be true to me. My grief has been acute in comparison, and my mom has thrown that in my face to make it seem like I don’t love my family. Also using her sadness as a shield for really awful behavior toward me. And I can’t judge it because that would be “cruel for someone who just lost their mom”. Per usual, my feelings have not been considered.

Thanksgiving came, and it was a train wreck. My partner and I drove to my mom’s house and cooked almost everything, but my mom ignored the fact that she was not in the mood for company (medical issues) and just wanted me around- bad idea. Her bad mood rubbed off on everyone and her energy was palpable. Passive aggressive comments about how I focused on cooking right away rather than chatting and hugging, shaming comments about myself and her roommate enjoying snacks, and getting mad about us conversing without her. This escalated into her demanding to chat with me privately, and still verbally confronting me in front of the others after we did so. I was so disgusted in her behavior I took space to myself for about a week and muted all forms of communication.

After reflection and chats with my best friend, I decided to answer her call earlier this week. We had a pretty great discussion involving lots of relief tears (mostly from me), validating statements, taking ownership, and vowing to do better. It seemed so promising; I felt better inside but still was skeptical. I was right to be, cause these things can’t change overnight (25 years of abuse). A couple of days later, she crept back into old patterns of asking me too many questions - not to connect but to judge, putting down my friends, and insinuating she deserves more of my time and attention. I tried several ways to diffuse but had to hang up eventually. Didn’t talk the rest of the day, and then something woke me up at 4:30am and prompted me to send her all the Badass Counseling tiktok videos that related to us (check this guy out if you haven’t, he’s amazing!). I probably sent ~15 videos; to my surprise she responded well. That she really enjoyed his videos and advice, wanted to learn more from him, and although it made her feel bad to hear her parenting wasn’t as great as she thought she seemed to accept my point of view. Which is honestly more than I could’ve asked for, I was expecting her listening and getting mad. Sooo all of that to say, maybe there’s hope? I know I don’t need her acceptance and approval and open-mindedness to heal but it could be the cherry on top that could really catapult our relationship into a positive direction for the first time ever. But don’t wanna get my hopes up too much. Is it bad that I’m expecting this to fail and blow up in our faces again? Or is this healthy and warranted skepticism… who knows. If you made it this far you’re a trooper and thank you. Maybe y’all can make sense of all this, any perspective is welcome! 🤍

#toxic mom #toxic parents #parenting #adult child #mental illness #emotional abuse #family struggles #family stress #journaling #self care #self work #hopeful #words of mine #word vomit

[myhauntedsalem]

CAN CHILDREN SEE GHOSTS? 17 SPINE-CHILLING TRUE STORIES THAT PROVE THEY DO

Have you ever found your child talking to “someone” when they were alone in their room? Is it simply an active imagination or could it be a visitor from beyond the grave?

For most parents, when their child tells them about their new imaginary friend, they simply put it down to their child’s active imagination. Completely normal… right? Well, I wouldn’t be so sure. It’s a widely held belief that some children can see and connect with those who have passed on. A popular theory is that we’re all born with the ability to connect to the other side but, as we grow up and become more cynical and disbelieving of all things unknown, that ability disappears. The following chilling true tales of imaginary friends and unseen visitors in the dead of night might go some way in proving that our children can and do communicate with the dead.

Parents beware, you’ll be checking under the bed and in your closets after reading these horrifying supernatural encounters.

1. THE BELIEVER

I believe that there are happenings on this earth that cannot be logically explained. I’ve always been a little skeptical, but I didn’t completely denounce that ghosts exists.

However, I’m starting to think they are definitely real, and that little kids can see them.

Yesterday, Sunday, I volunteered to watch the little kids of my church while their parents were out volunteering. Our church meets in the community center, so that’s where I was watching the kids — one baby, and two 2-year-olds – a boy and a girl. And you are right, our church is not very big.

After the center cleared out, it was just me and one other volunteer. She had the baby in a side room, trying to put him down for a nap. I had the two-year-olds in the main room.

I had a “weird feeling” all day, and kept feeling like there was someone standing behind me, but chalked it up to being alone in the building. The kids and I were sitting on the floor and rolling a ball back and forth to one another when the boy asked if we could throw it instead. I said yes and we stood up. He ran towards me and threw the ball just out of my reach. It went behind me. I did not hear it bounce.

The kids looked at each other and started giggling. I whirled around and saw the ball suspended in midair for a split second before falling to the ground. The kids just kept laughing. They started pointing and saying what sounded like “the man! the man!”

That was all the “paranormal” that occurred yesterday. The kids didn’t say anything about “the man” for the rest of the day. It freaked me out, but I wasn’t scared. I just wanted to share.

2. IT WAS JUST A DREAM

My daughter used to tell me about a man who came into her room every night and put the sign of the cross on her forehead. I thought it was just a dream. Then my mother-in-law sent over some family photos. My daughter looked right at the picture of my husband’s father (who has been dead for 16 years) and said ‘That’s the man who comes into my room at night!’ My husband later told me his father would always do the sign of the cross on his forehead when he was young.

3. DADDY, WHO’S THAT MAN?

When my daughter was younger (maybe 2 1/2 years old) she slept in her crib in the room next to me and my wife. One night she was stirring and maybe a little frightened, so I went in to get her and brought her to our room. She was wide awake now in our bed and not scared at all now. She was looking wondrously at the foot of our bed saying “look at the lights, the sparkles….” Kind of playfully she kept mentioning “the lights”. Then she said “Daddy, who’s that man?” Pointing directly at the foot of our bed.

It was definitely unsettling.

We had bought the apartment from a very elderly couple who passed in the apartment a few months earlier. Probably never forget that.

4. THE CAPTAIN

A parent of one of my students told us in a meeting that she was concerned because her son (7 years old) talked about an invisible ghost who would talk to him and play with him in his room. He said the ghost was called The Captain and was an old white guy with a beard. The kid would tell his mom that The Captain told him when he grows up his job will be to kill people, and The Captain would tell him who needed to be killed. The kid would cry and say he doesn’t want to kill when he grows up, but The Captain tells him he doesn’t have a choice and he’ll get used to killing after a while.

I was always creeped out working with that student after that.

5. MY COUSIN TRACY

When my niece was about 4 she had an imaginary friend, which I don’t remember the name of. She would blame things she did on this imaginary friend but also talked about how this friend would watch Scooby Doo with her. One day I thought, why don’t I find out more about this friend. So I asked her to tell me about her friend. And she said, “She’s a she and she’s dead.” And I said okay, “Does she have a job?” and she said, “She does what my Daddy does!” Which is that her imaginary friend was a cop. Okay. So then I said, “Where is your imaginary friend a policewoman at?” and she said, “Right next to where my daddy is a policeman.” And I said okay. But then she said, “I met her when I was in my mummy’s belly. She touched me when I was inside.”

A few months before my niece was born my cousin Tracy had died. She was hit by a train. She loved watching Scooby Doo and had a ton of memorabilia. She was also a cop. She was a cop in the town that is right next to the one my brother-in-law is a cop in, my nieces “Daddy.” My niece’s imaginary friend was my dead cousin. There is no other way she could have known all that at the age of 4.

6. EMILY

when my sister was probably about 6 or 7, she had an imaginary friend named Emily. She told us Emily lived in her closet, wore an old black dress, and had long dark hair and she was the same age as my sister. My sister played with Emily constantly. My parents started noticing my sister acting weird. Just sitting in the middle of her room whispering to Emily quite a bit and acting a lot more distant towards them. I remember a very specific day, my brother was walking by her room and my sister was sitting in the middle of her room….but she turned around and hissed at him. He was scared shitless. He told me it didn’t even look like my sister. My parents ran up to her room and i could hear my sister just screaming and screaming as loud as she “Get out”.

I have no idea what happened in that room but I ran to the bottom of my stairs and the screaming stopped, I saw my parents holding my sister crying their eyes out, she was sobbing as well. I’ve asked her about it today. She’s 24 now. She told me that Emily used to tell her to do horrible things to herself. She actually used to wake up on the roof and not remember how she got there. I’m not kidding. Apparently, Emily absolutely hated my parents so she turned my sister against them. She hates talking about it so I never brought up that specific night. This all happened at my old house. When we moved into a different house, Emily was gone. I’m not making any of this up. My sister’s little friend was a really big deal to my family and messed things up for a long time. I’m just relieved we left that house.

I’m not making any of this up. My sister’s little friend was a really big deal to my family and messed things up for a long time. I’m just relieved we left that house.

7. JESSICA

A little after I was born, my sister Julia had an imaginary friend named Jessica. She was Julia’s friend for a long time, when things started to get a little weird. At first my parents shrugged it off as a normal occurrence, but after a while they began to believe that our house was haunted .One night as my parents put me (about one years old) to sleep, I begin to cry and point at the corner, my mom was still in there and began to try to comfort me, but I continued to cry and point at the same corner. All of the sudden, my sister walks into my room and points at the corner and yells “Jessica stop it!”

Immediately I stop crying and Julia says like it is completely normal that “Sometimes Jessica likes to put on scary masks and scare people”. My mom who was understandably freaked out stammers to my sister “Tell Jessica that if she can’t play nice, she can’t play here at all”.

A couple weeks go by and Julia tells my Mom that “Her eyes turn green when she is mad and her voice gets deeper”. My Mom didn’t know how to respond to this and just said “ok….”

Eventually Julia outgrows her “imaginary” friend and stops playing with her.

A year and a half later my little sister Abbey begins to talk, she then goes on to tell us about her friend that no one else can see. She then tells my mom about how her eyes turn green when she is upset. I remember this distinctly because she dropped a pan and it scared me. She asked Abbey what her name was and she said…

“Jessica.”

8. THE BOY IN THE TREE

My folks’ farm surrounds a cemetery, and my dad and my niece were walking down there. My niece (4) looks up and says “What’s that boy doing up in that tree?” There was no boy, but she insisted there was and could describe him.

9. YOU’RE DOING A GOOD JOB

My wife and I overheard my two-year-old daughter on the baby monitor wake up on Saturday morning and say “what? OK, I’ll tell her” then get up and come into our bedroom and told my wife “Mary says you’re doing a good job.”

Mary was her grandmother that she was extremely close too that passed away.

10. THE MAN IN THE DOORWAY

When my nephew was born, ten years ago now. Around age 2/3 He’d wake up in the middle of the night and when my sister and her fiance went to settle him down he’d be staring at the corner of the room, or at the open doorway saying there was a man standing there, that he came and talked to him at night. Sometimes he was scared, sometimes he was calm, but my sister was terrified!

11. MY FRIEND JOE

Not my kid, but something my mum said I did when I was little.

I had this imaginary friend named “Joe” – was pretty normal imaginary friend stuff to begin with, my parents would ask about him and I’d respond with something like “I like Joe” “He has curly black hair” “He likes to play outside” nothing interesting.

Until one day I come out with “Joe has to work a lot, but Joe’s boss doesn’t like him.” when asked why, I responded with “Oh, it’s because Joe’s black.” As if it was obvious. Now this wouldn’t have been weird at all if I hadn’t grown up in a very small all-white town. And I was about 3 years old, I didn’t know (or rather, hadn’t been taught) that racism was even a thing.

This continued on for a while, I’d mention Joe now and then, sometimes talking about what he did for fun, or his favorite things, other times mentioning that his boss hits him and shouts all the time.

After a few months, I go up to my mum one day and have a conversation that went something like this: “Joe’s really happy today. His boss isn’t coming back” ‘Why?’ “He’s dead” ‘Oh yeah? How did he die?’ “He hung himself from up there” (as I point up towards the attic door).

I don’t remember much of this, I definitely remember having an imaginary friend named Joe.

12. THE LITTLE GIRL

My grandfather had a camp on Lake Dering in NH when I was a kid. One day when I was 6 or so, I fell off of the dock and into the water. I couldn’t swim. While under, I distinctly remember seeing a little girl down there who told me to look up towards the sun and just keep kicking and I’d be fine. I swam to the surface just in time for my grandfather to swoop me up and pull me back on the dock.

And, yes, I found out later that a little girl drowned in the lake near that same spot (of course).

13. THE IMAGINARY FRIEND

When my daughter was three she had an imaginary friend named Kelly who lived in her closet. Kelly sat in a little rocking chair while she slept, played with her, etc. Typical imaginary friend shit. Anyway, fast forward two years later, the wife and I are watching the new Amityville (the one with Ryan Renolds) and our daughter walks out right when dead girl goes all black eyed. Far from being disturbed, she said “That looks like Kelly.” “Kelly who?” we say “You know the dead girl that lived in my closet.”

14. HER EYES WOULD FOLLOW IT

I had tons of experiences like this when my little girl was born a few years ago. From being just a few months old we noticed she’d randomly start looking over at something and giggling, like something was making her laugh. Her eyes would follow it around the room. And sometimes we’d feel like it was stood right next to us or behind us and then we’d noticed she was looking at it, or smiling in that direction. It never caused any problems though, in fact, when she was upset she’d look over at it and start laughing or smiling. And if we couldn’t find something we really needed, suddenly it’d appear right in front of us, when we knew we’d checked there a hundred times.

Stopped around the time she turned two.

15. PUNISHMENT

I was seventeen and babysitting a friend of the family’s six-year-old. he’d been in bed a couple of hours and I just peeked in to check on him. he wasn’t in the bed and when i opened the door wider, I saw he was standing in the corner, facing the wall. creepiest fucking thing ever. I asked him what he was doing and all he did was turn around, smile, and put his finger to his lips as if to say “shhh”. I asked him again what he was doing and all he says is, “leave us. It is the punishment.”

16. HE DOESN’T HAVE A FACE

My son from the age of three always tells me about the “creeper man” who lives in my mom and dads bedroom. He brings it up after he visits them. I made the mistake once of asking what he looks like. My son said “Oh, he doesn’t have a face.”

17. I WAS THE SAME

I tend to be skeptical also, even when I love reading about paranormal stuff, the only thing that has kind of freaked me out has been my nephew a couple of years ago when he was about 2 1/2 years old would talk to a man only he could see at my house and an old lady at his grandparents house.

My mother tells me I was the same, talking and playing with my grandfather for a few months after he died, I would call to him and hold conversations with him and even wish him good night before going to bed.

#CAN CHILDREN SEE GHOSTS #shared stories #paranormal #ghost and hauntings #ghost and spirits #haunted salem #myhauntedsalem

[pockyxx]

“ kitty-cat cafe ”

kuroo x reader 

genre: fluff. (kuroo’s s/o works at a cat cafe, he finds out.)

With your boyfriend’s birthday coming up you desperately wanted to buy him something nice but at the same time you were broke. You’d gone back and forth with newspaper ads, looking for the best place to work that would also fit in with your school schedule. 

So, when a position for a waitress at a cafe just a quick train ride from your house and a flexible schedule-- it seemed like the perfect opportunity. Not to mention the pay was great. 

The job was never suppose to be permanent, and you knew that which was your subconscious reason to not tell Kuroo. It just seem too complicated to tell him about it. 

He’d ask questions like: why do you even need a job? Or he’d mention something about the required attire for the job. It was the only downside; having to wear a maid-like costume along with a cat tail and a cat ear head band. 

The school day was over and looking down at your watch your shift started in just over thirty minutes, which gave you plenty of time to get there and to get into uniform. 

“Hey kitten, you staying to watch the practice match?” Tetsuro asked, slinging his arm over your shoulders, stopping you from making your way to the train station. 

It had been apparent how much you’d been absent at his practices and it made you feel awful but then again, you weren’t going to tell him about your employment. 

“I’m sorry babe but I can’t today, I, uh, have to help my grandma with house chores.” That had been one of your more convinent excuses since Kuroo had already met your grandmother before. 

He sighed before letting you leave but not without a kiss to your forehead. Pressing your lips as you walked to the train stop, all you could think about was Kuroo’s disappointing expression. 

It’s only for a couple more week, you reminded yourself. His birthday was just around the corner. 

-- 

“Hello Master, welcome to the kitty-cat cafe!” You flashed a fake smile at one of the customers as you ushered him to a table, offering a menu, “i’m y/n so if you need anything, I’ll be here to serve you.” 

Even though you had a cheerful tone, you felt absolutely exhausted and just wanted to go home and sleep. Only two more hours left on your shift, though, so that was a positive. 

Running back from the kitchen to the tables, you’d received a great sum of tips although it didn’t make up for the aching in your feet. The shift was nearing it’s end and there was just one more table you needed to wait on before heading home. 

“Welcome Master, to the kitty-cat cafe! I hope you’ve had a paw-some day!” You’d been sorting menu’s in front of your face and didn’t notice who was sitting in front of you until it was the moment to introduce yourself. 

“Y/n?” The quiet voice asked, tone dripping with shock. Your mouth falling open, you looked down to see Nekoma’s second year setting staring right back up at you. 

“Kenma?!” You almost screamed but managed to keep your voice low to not cause a sense, “what are you doing here?” Your tone was snappy. He looked at you, then to his surroundings, like it was a trick question. 

“I was getting a video game from the store down the street and I wanted to eat something.” He took the menu that you’d just laid down into his head, “what are you doing here?” 

Groaning and pinching your nose, you realized you’d have no choice but to explain to not only Kenma but inevitably to Kuroo. 

“I’m trying to save up some money-- mostly to buy Tetsu a gift for his birthday.” You mentioned. 

“So I guess he doesn’t know about... this.” He was referring to the frilly outfit you had. Nodding, you looked down at your feet, almost shamefully. 

“The gift is suppose to be a surprise. So I didn’t really want to tell him so if you could-” 

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell him.” A wave of relief washed over you at the pudding head’s promise.  “Now can I have an apple pie?” You gave him a genuine smile before going back to the kitchen to take his order. 

-- 

It was a Friday afternoon and coach Nekomata had let them have a rest day, considering how hard they’d been working the whole week. It was also a day you had to work a double shift. 

“Kuroo, you don’t have to come with me to the game shop.” Kenma insisted, knowing that you’d be close by and he respected the promise he’d made you just a week earlier. 

Kuroo frowned as they took their seats on the bus. They’d planned to hang out in the evening so he didn’t understand why Kenma didn’t want him around. 

“But I want to look for something in that shop too, I heard they’re selling periodic tables with studio ghibli characters on it so I want to check it out.” He turned his head from the setter. 

Kenam huffed, leaning back in the train seat, trying to focus on the level he was playing on his switch while also coming up with an excuse to ditch Kuroo. 

“I just want to go alone.” He muttered, eyes shutting at the ‘defeat’ written on his screen. He looked up at the raven haired boy, “I need to go alone... for personal reasons.” 

Kuroo’s mouth dropped into an ‘o’ shape as he started to connect dots that weren’t really there. He smirked down at his junior, 

“Kenma, are you meeting a someone there?” He wiggled his eyebrows, teasing his friend, only to receive a dirty look from him. Rolling his eyes Kenma knew that he’d just have to take a risk. 

-- 

Kenma help his breath walking past the kitty-cat cafe, hoping Kuroo would pay no mind to it and thankfully he didn’t. At least the first time they passed it.  

Now, it was nearing evening and the two had spent their day at the video game store only to walk past the cafe on their way to the train station. 

“Kenma, I’m hungry, why don’t we stop and have something to eat?” 

“I’m not hungry.” He quickly shot back, trying not to seem extremely suspicious. Although Kuroo wasn’t buying any of it. 

“I doubt you’ve anything to eat besides this place looks...” He dragged off looking through the window of the cafe. His eyes then proceeded to widen, feeling his mind go blank as he saw one worker in particular. 

“Is that?.. y/n?” He turned to Kenma who was avoiding eye contact, he really didn’t want to get involved in your relationship drama. “Oh my gosh, it is.” He stated, slowly walking to the door the the cafe, he needed an explanation. 

They were greeted by a different girl as Kuroo noticed you slip back to the kitchen, not sure if you had seen him walk in. 

“Hello Master, welcome to the kitty-cat cafe!“ The waitress introduced. Kuroo’s heart sped up, is that what you said to every customer who walked in? As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he got a little jealous. “Someone will be back shortly to take your orders.” 

The boys sat down at a booth, Kenma unbothered while Kuroo rested his head in his palm, mind racing on what he was going to say to you. He didn’t even know how to properly react to this situation, it seemed like something out of a girly manga. 

While on the other end, you were walking up to the table you were suppose to wait on when he recognized two familiar sets of hair. Your heart stopped. You turned, shaking your head, not believing what was happening. 

“Hana, I’m not feeling well I think I need to leave early.” You lied as your coworker looked at you and then back to the customers. She raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything. 

You went and sat by the back door, bringing your legs in your chest. It felt awful having to lie to Kuroo about your job but it felt even more awful that he had to find out like this-- you were certain he’d seen you, or why else had Kenma willingly come in? 

“Y/n?” You finally break a little bit, tearing up as you covered your face with your hands. Kuroo’s voice was calm given the circumstances. “Are you alright?” 

Shaking your head, you looked up at him, taking a deep breath and standing up. You were still in the cat themed maid outfit, trying to hide your embarrassment. 

“Baby, I can explain honestly.” You put your hands up in defense, sighing in defeat. “This job is only temporary.” 

“I’m not mad that you’re working here, a little upset all these other guys get to see you in such a cute outfit... but I’m just a bit angry that you didn’t tell me.” He stated, it was understandable but you tried to ignore his statement that he was jealous of all the other male costumes (although it would be funny to bring up later). 

“It’s just, I don’t understand why you needed to work, if ever needed something you could’ve come to me. You know how close our families are too.” He was right, you’d known Kuroo since childhood and had been dating him since your last year of middle school. You sniffled, finding your way into his arms. 

“I just needed some money, that’s all.” You whispered, biting your lip you decided it was time to spill the beans. “Truth be told, I just wanted to buy you a nice gift for your birthday. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything earlier” 

He laughed hysterically, pulling away from the hug, hands on your shoulders, scanning your adorable outfit one more time. 

“I think this sight is a gift enough.” He grinned as you fell back onto his chest, cheeks red. He placed a gentle hand on your back. You knew looking back on this moment would make the two of you laugh. 

“I have to go change, my shift is just about over.” You wiped the tear stains away while Kuroo nodded. 

“Come back to the booth with me and Kenma.” He gave you another reassuring smile. You nodded your head, making your way back to the staff room to take off your uniform. 

-- 

The night sky was out and it was just you and Kuroo walking along the empty sidewalk on the way to his house. The moon shone brightly and casted beautiful shadows on his face. 

“I just wanted to say sorry again, for everything.” You mentioned to him as he stopped in his tracks, taking your frowning face and cupping it with his hands. He scanned over every part of your face, every curve, freckle and even pimple. 

“Y/n you don’t need to apologize.” He ran his thumb over your blushing cheeks, “it’s okay and honestly, I’d put on a maid costume for your birthday too.” He chuckled as you rolled your eyes, someone expecting more romantic words to come out of his mouth. 

“I think I might just take you up on that offer.” Now it was Kuroo’s turn to flush a deep shade of red while looking away from your eyesight. Giggling, you placed your ear against his growing heart beat. 

Kuroo rested his chin on top of your heart, squeezing you into a hug. He mumbled something thinking you wouldn’t hear it. 

“After my birthday though, you better quick, I don’t want anyone else’s eyes on my s/o.” You jotted that down mentally, making sure to not only hang up the maid costume but to tease him for being so jealous. 

#kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro fluff #kuroo fluff #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo imagine #kuroo testuro imagine #kuroo tetsurō #kuroo scenarios #hq kuroo #kuroo headcanons #kuroo x y/n #kuroo x gender neutral reader #kuroo x gn reader #kuroo x reader fluff #haikyū!! #haikyuu!! #haikyuu fluff #kenma #nekoma #kuroo oneshot #kuroo tetsuro drabble #maid cafe #happy birthday kuroo #kuroo tetsuro x you #kuroo x you

[iamtheblondestblonde]

Last Christmas

AN: Listening to Christmas songs in September is totally normal, right? I was inspired by a couple of songs and I’m procrastinating even though I should really study for some upcoming exams but I had to finish this first. Please enjoy this angsty fluff (is that even a thing?) with one of our favorite Hockey Hunks™.

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: There might be a swear word or two and one mention of sex but that’s it

My other writing can be found here

For the first time since the move you finally felt at home and not out of place. To anyone it might only be a regular Wednesday but to you it was more than that. Today marked the day you’d finally managed to clear out the last few boxes, ridding yourself of the only remaining evidence that proved you were alone in a new city, a new country.

You wouldn’t stay alone for long though, your new job was set to start on Monday and you’d always made friends fairly fast so you weren’t worried in the slightest, instead enjoying the quiet that was your apartment for now.

With Christmas less than a month away you’d finally managed to decorate the apartment accordingly and to say you were proud would be an understatement. Picking out a Christmas tree by yourself had been an adult awakening, something you’d always dreamt about. 

When you were younger you had imagined a certain someone with you so you could decorate side by side but that hadn’t been an option in years. Although with the move it could be, but you quickly pushed that thought out of your head.

Locating the box with the decorations - some you’d stolen from home - had taken quite a while but as you held the hand-painted angel that had once belonged to your great-grandmother in your hands all trouble was forgotten. You’d have to climb on a stool or something to get it on top of the tree but for now you carefully set it aside, taking a look at your surroundings instead. 

The string lights made your apartment glow in warm light that only added to the appeal of the city lights shining in through the big windows. The new job had come with a very attractive signing bonus and while the place wasn’t huge, the modern finishes had made you fall in love instantly.

You hadn’t even realized how much time had passed because you’d been so immersed in decorating and cleaning but the sun had long set and your supper had been quite a while ago. The TV was still on from when you’d turned it on for some background noise, not really paying attention but instead focusing on humming along to your Christmas playlist.

You put on some water and quickly changed into a pair of comfortable leggings and your favorite sweatshirt from your time at Dalhousie University so you could spend the rest of your evening cuddled up on the couch with a mug of tea and continue the series you’d started to binge watch a couple of weeks ago. You’d only just pulled the hem of the sweatshirt down your body when you heard your doorbell ring.

Who would show up at your apartment unannounced at this time?

You quickly made your way back into the living space and over to the door so you could check the peep-hole, your heart skipping a beat once you realized who was on the other side of the door. For a second you contemplated simply not opening, but while you were many things in your life, a coward wasn’t one of them. 

You knew he could tell that you were home from the music still playing over the speakers and the lights probably escaping your apartment through the slit below the door so you didn’t hesitate long before unlocking the door with shaky hands and swinging it open.

Seeing him again, leaning against the wall opposite your apartment door, was like someone had thrown a bucket of ice cold water at your face. As soon as he realized that you’d actually opened the door he practically jumped from his spot and took two big steps until he was standing a lot closer to you. 

You looked up at him, really looked up at him and with him standing there, looking so much like the Pierre you knew but so differently at the same time you felt yourself being catapulted to the day that changed your life all these years ago.

NHL Entry Draft Day back in 2016.

You weren’t religious by any means and you only ever went to church on Christmas out of a feeling of obligation towards your parents but God had you prayed for Pierre to stay close to you. It hadn’t been fair to him, you were well aware of that but for one day you allowed yourself to be selfish. You knew that he was living his dream, finally getting to play in the NHL like he’d always said he would but you were also thinking about your dreams. Dreams that involved him by your side.

Perhaps you were to blame for this mess. It was you who had fallen for the funny hockey player almost two years ago after all, knowing full well that he had big dreams that didn’t really mesh well with yours to go to university in Halifax, a place your family had gone to for ages.

You’d secretly hoped that perhaps Ottawa or Montreal would select him, even if he deserved to be picked long before it was their turn. But at least he’d be at least somewhat close to you then. When he’d been picked third by Columbus you’d been so shocked that you barely remembered kissing him on live television. You’d watched him get on that stage and put on the jersey but instead of crying happy tears at the sight of his dream coming true, you were crying because you knew that this was most likely the beginning of the end of your relationship. 

There’d be well over 2.000 kilometers between the two of you sometime soon and although you’d prepared yourself for this for weeks it still hurt more than you could ever imagine. But you still smiled at him all these hours later when you finally got to see him again, telling him how incredibly proud you were.

You tried your best to enjoy that summer, knowing full well that it might be your last one with him. With fall approaching he helped you move your stuff to Halifax while preparing for his own departure to Columbus. 

A departure that didn’t come though, because he hadn’t made the roster for the 2016-2017 season and had instead been sent back to play in Sydney, something that had devastated him.

To say that it was hard would put it mildly. You were over four hours away from him and your home and with your new life picking up keeping in touch kept getting more and more difficult. With his travels for the team and your classes you barely saw each other, a series of missed calls and late responses really the only thing that connected you to him. Christmas was the first time you’d seen him in three weeks but you still made the best of it, spending time with him every day and for a little while things were like they used to be.

When he told you that he’d been traded to Boisbriand afterwards you knew that this was it. Pierre had known as well, the defeated look in his eyes mirroring your own and giving him away. 

So you’d said your goodbyes, wanting to end things on a good note instead of going through another string of ‘Sorry I couldn’t pick up the phone earlier but call me back when you get this’ and constantly feeling left out. You’d cried, as did Pierre when you hugged him one last time, him desperately wiping your tears away and pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead before leaving.

He’d ruined hockey for you then, the sport you once loved and spent so much time watching. No more time spent at the rink cuddled under your blanket and gossiping with the other girlfriends but you didn’t miss it as much as you missed him. 

You couldn’t even bear to watch him on TV so you’d missed when he scored his first NHL goal during his very first game in the league and all the other ones that followed. It was only when the Blue Jackets had their playoff run earlier this year that you’d finally managed to look at his face on your screen, over two years after you’d last seen him in person.

But now he was here, standing in front of you again.

“I-“, he began before stopping himself, rubbing his hand over his face before dropping it back down to his side and continuing, “I’m sorry for just barging in like this but my mom told me you moved here and I didn’t see it until after the game but I just had to come see for myself. Apparently our families still talk..”

You finally allowed yourself to properly looking at him, trailing your eyes over the features that were once so familiar. He’d grown a bit since you’d last seen him, not just in height but he was also a lot bulkier and more muscular than he used to be, filling out the suit jacket that sat snugly around his shoulders. He must have come straight from the game, hair still a bit wet and curlier than ever, a black pea coat folded over his arm and a duffel bag slung around his torso. You felt a bit out of place in your comfortable clothes compared to his suit that was probably designer but then you scolded yourself because this was Pierre and he’d seen you a lot worse.

“Yeah I know. I ran into your mom this summer when she was in our kitchen for a wine night they apparently have regularly.” You didn’t tell him how hard it had been to not ask about how he was doing and instead make bland small talk before you could finally disappear to your old room.

How could your parents not be friends anymore after your mothers had once joked about wanting a wine bar exclusively for them at your wedding? You didn’t blame your mom for telling his mother either, you knew that she only had good intentions and she’d always wanted the two of you to get back together.

In fact you weren’t completely innocent in the situation either. It was you who had applied for a position in Columbus after graduating this year after all, thoughts of what could be in the back of your mind even if you were adamant about denying it.

“You look good Y/N. I didn’t think it was possible but you’re somehow even more beautiful than you were the last time I saw you.”

You were about to remind him that the last time he’d seen you your eyes had been all red and puffy from crying – which was anything but beautiful – but before you could even get one word out the vintage kettle you had put on the stove to make tea let out its loud screeching noise, indicating that the water was done. You weren’t about to be rude and just Leave Pierre in the hallway just like that so without a second thought you invited him inside before turning around to take the kettle off the stove.

“Do you want some tea as well?”, you asked on a whim, not really knowing what else to do with the stranger that wasn’t really a stranger standing in the middle of your living room. He’d taken his shoes off by the door, apparently still remembering how you much you hated it when people wore shoes indoors and you watched him carefully drape his coat over the back of a chair.

“Sure, thanks.”

You took out a second mug and carefully poured the tea over the tea bags, the scent soon filling the apartment. It was the same tea you always drank during the winter months, ever since you were a little kid. Pierre grabbed the second mug off the counter from next to you and quickly took a peak at the label before giving you a knowing smile. You’d made that tea for the both of you so many times that this felt almost normal, even if your current situation was anything but.

“I’m sorry that you guys lost tonight”, you said to fill the silence that was now falling over the apartment. He looked over with a surprised look, raising his eyebrows.

“You watched the game?”

“Not all of it. I was busy decorating and doing other stuff around the apartment but I turned it on and checked the score from time to time”, you admitted sheepishly, raising the mug to your face in pretense of blowing to battle the boiling hot water but actually hiding away from his attentive stare. He’d looked at you all kinds of ways over your years with him but you had never been nervous because of it, except for that one night with him where he’d seen you naked for the first time and you’d lost your virginities to each other.

Thinking about sex with him wasn’t helping your cause either though because while the first few times had been a little awkward but still fun, the two of you quickly improved and the images of him above you or his head between your legs were only turning your cheeks even more red.

He seemed to drop the subject, thankfully, and instead moved over towards the Christmas tree, admiring your work. You slowly followed him, mug closely clutched to your chest and sat down on the sofa, admiring the way he looked in your apartment instead. The time apart had treated him well and while it was a bit weird to see him with a beard outside of playoffs there was no denying that he looked better than ever.

“I see you still like to live in an environment that resembles hell temperature wise”, he chuckled before he put down his own mug on the couch table and shrugged off his suit jacket. You tried your best not to stare as he popped open the first two bottoms of his shirt before moving on to roll up his sleeves while sitting down a respectable distance away but you were unsuccessful. For the first time you saw his tattoos, as his skin had been innocent and bare up until your breakup but you couldn’t ignore how good he looked with them. Your hands were itching to trace the patterns and because you didn’t entirely trust yourself to be able to control yourself you sat on them to avoid any embarrassment.

You hadn’t even realized that your Christmas playlist had continued playing over the speakers until the familiar opening tunes of “Last Christmas” filled the apartment. You quickly jumped up, reaching for your phone so you could stop the music from playing. It reminded you too much of the last Christmas you’d had with Pierre, now almost three years ago. You’d given him your heart and while he hadn’t exactly given it away he’d still broken it when he’d left.

When you turned back around you noticed the slight blush that painted his cheeks, he’d apparently come to the same realization as you. For a moment the silence was uncomfortable and you were reminded of the time right before the breakup when you didn’t know what to say or do around him, always walking on eggshells for fear of losing him. You’d lost him either way but that was beside the point.

Pierre cleared his throat before speaking up, ripping you out of your spiraling thoughts.

“Y/N I- I have to ask. Why are you here?”

You knew that you should just be honest and tell him that you were in a way here because of him but you weren’t ready to take that kind of leap just yet. You hadn’t kept up with his personal life for fear of finding something you couldn’t bear and for all you knew he could have a girlfriend right now.

“Well why are you?”, you simply responded instead, leaning back on the couch so you could properly gauge his reaction. You weren’t the one who had knocked on his door late at night.

“Fair enough, I guess”, he huffed before running his hand over his face in the way that had once been so familiar to you.

“When I read that text from my mom, telling me that you lived in Columbus now – that you weren’t thousands of kilometers away anymore I just had to see you. I called my mom to ask if she had your address and you have no idea how smug she sounded when she said she’d text it to me.”

You chuckled at his exasperated expression, knowing full well how his mother could be but stayed quiet to let him continue.

“The team knows about you as well and if I even told you half the shit I had to listen to when I practically sprinted out of the locker room you wouldn’t believe me.”

This made you laugh out loud and when you saw him smile at you fondly your heart skipped a beat for the second time that night.

“What I’m actually trying to say – but failing miserably at – is that I never really got over you and seeing you know only confirmed that. I can’t believe I let you go all these years ago, I was an idiot for thinking I could do it without you because I was absolutely miserable after leaving you”, he finished and you hadn’t even realized that you’d started crying until he reached up to gently wipe your tears away.

“Look I know that we can’t just continue like nothing happened but please bébé, please give me a second chance. I won’t leave you again, I promise.” The fact that he’d used the pet name he’d given you when you first started dating was all it took for you to leap towards him. He wrapped his arms around you as well, creating that perfect cocoon of Pierre that you’d missed so much. When he kissed your forehead this time you couldn’t feel your heart breaking, instead the warmth that flooded your body only glued all those pieces back together.

You knew that there was still a chance that he’d get traded again and that because of his job he’d have to spend quite some time on the road but you’d been miserable after he’d left as well. At least this time you’d know that he’d always come back for you.

“I’m so glad that our mothers love their wine nights and gossip, otherwise you never would’ve knocked at my door and I never would’ve gotten you back.”

“So we’re really doing this? We’re trying again?”, he asked, pulling you back at arm’s length so he could properly take a look at you. You nodded, not being able to stop the big smile spreading on your face.

“Would it be completely out of place if I kissed you right now?”

“Not at all”, you responded before crawling closer towards him until you straddled his lap. His hands reached up to cup your face, thumbs wiping the last of your tears away – happy tears this time – and then he finally pulled you in for a kiss.

Nothing felt more like coming home than kissing Pierre.

The way his lips moved against yours was so familiar that you couldn’t help but sigh into the kiss, reaching up for his shoulders so you could ground yourself in him while simultaneously getting lost in the way his body felt against yours. He buried his hands in your hair and his beard was scratching your skin but you didn’t care, instead letting him pull you closer and deepening the kiss until the only thought you could form was IloveyouIloveyouIloveyoustill.

Eventually you had to pull away though, both of you panting at the lack of air and the closeness of your bodies. It had been so long since you’d last felt his breath fan across your face like this, seen the look in his eyes as he looked at you with absolute wonder but it was as if nothing had changed, the two of you easily picking up where you left off.

“You know that our moms are gonna take credit for that, right? We’re never gonna hear the end of it”, he suddenly groaned and you giggled at his exasperated tone.

“I can live with that as long as it means that I get to have you with me again.”

He pulled you in for another sweet kiss before letting you go again, smiling up at you. You watched his gaze shift to something behind you, twisting your body in his lap so you could see what had caught his attention.

“Is that the Y/L/N Christmas angel? Did you steal it?” He stood up with you still in his lap, slowly putting you down before walking over to where you’d set the decoration earlier.

“It is but I didn’t steal it. Mom gave it to me so I’d have a piece of home with me. I’m not tall enough to put it on the top though and I haven’t gotten around to finding something to climb yet.”

“Need some help with putting it up? Here’s another piece of home ready to be climbed”, Pierre said, extending his arms to the sides and taking a step backwards so he was standing by the tree, angel still in one hand. You shook your head at him while laughing but you still moved closer, ready to climb him like a tree like you’d done hundreds of times before.

Still laughing you jumped on his back and he handed you the angel before wrapping his arms around your legs to support you. With combined forces you were able to complete the tree and Pierre let you down so you could both properly admire your work. 

Your dream had come true after all. 

You felt him move away from you before he was standing right behind you again, the famous tune of Wham! playing again over the speakers. He wrapped his arms around you from behind and you placed your hands on his forearms, slowly tracing your fingers over the black ink under his skin.

“You’re mon ange Y/N, you know that right? My angel. My someone special.”

Standing on your tippy toes you placed a soft kiss on his jaw before leaning your head back against him, not really knowing how to put your feelings in words right now but you knew he understood by the way he squeezed you tightly, resting his head on top of yours.

This year you’d given your heart to someone truly special.. again.

Feedback is always appreciated 🥰🥰

#pierre luc dubois #pierre luc dubois x reader #pld #nhl imagine #nhl players #nhl fanfiction #my writing #columbus blue jackets #hot hockey players #hockey writing #nhl hockey #ice hockey

[floralguccistyles]

nine: aliens, bigfoot, and nerds, oh my!

“Have you been eating, sweetheart? You’ve lost at least ten pounds since the last time I’ve seen you.”

My father rolled his eyes from over my mother’s shoulder as she pulled me into a big hug. Every time I saw my mother, she mentioned how skinny I was getting even though I was sure I had gained about five pounds since the last time I’d seen her. It was usually an excuse to come into my flat and make us a giant dinner, which I would never complain about. Her arms squeezed my shoulders as she released me, pulling back so she could look at my face.

“Pretty as ever, sweetheart.” 

“Eva, can I please hug our daughter hello now?”

I laughed as my mother made a big deal of moving out of the way so my father could hug me. His embrace was familiar, his arms the ones I ran to when the bullying in secondary school got too bad to handle on my own. He had wiped my tears away and said “you’re one of a kind, mija, and they’re jealous of that.” 

“Was the drive okay?” I asked them, pulling away from my father after he planted a quick kiss on my hairline. Their suitcases (the ones they had owned when they came to England) were decorated with vibrant stickers from Cuba. They were worn now, scratched at the corners, but their color had miraculously remained. 

“It was wonderful. It’s been so long since we’ve been to London, and now look at us! We’re here to celebrate our daughter’s book!”

Inviting them to the book release party had been a last minute decision, but I found myself happy that I had. Though I knew they were proud of me, I also knew that they didn’t really understand a lot of the fandom stuff I had discussed in several chapters. They would read it to support me, of that I was sure, but I was uncertain about if they’d actually enjoy it. 

“You probably won’t understand a lot of it, Mum.”

“You don’t know that. Your father and I have been watching that Doctor show...what’s it called, Roberto?”

“I don’t know, Eva. I fall asleep when it’s on.”

“It’s called Doctor Who, Mum,” I snorted out, biting back a bigger laugh. 

“Whatever it’s called, we’ve been watching it. And we were alive when Star Wars came out, you know. I was there for the Darth Vader reveal and everything. Mamá took me to the theater and got me an extra large popcorn.”

I liked hearing little stories like that. It was almost too easy to picture my mum, sitting there in a little theater in Cuba when the true identity of Darth Vader was revealed. My grandmother had probably grasped her chest with her hand and shouted “¡Dios mío!” at the top of her lungs. If I eventually travelled to Cuba, if the movie theater was still there, I decided I would visit it.

The three of us piled into the Uber I had called for us, which wasn’t hard because their suitcases were so small. On the way to my flat, my parents regaled stories about their drive to London and how she was upset my dad wouldn’t let her listen to Dua Lipa on the radio because “that Dua Lipa girl was very talented, Petra.” We made it back to my flat with only three arguments broken out between them.

“You guys are staying in my room and I’m camping out on the couch,” I informed them, helping my mum to carry her suitcase in. “Sorry it’s so cramped. It’s perfect for me, but unfortunately having guests is a little difficult.”

“We could have stayed in a hotel, baby,” My father commented.

“I’m not going to make my parents pay for a hotel room. I can sleep on the couch for one night and survive, Dad.” They had been to my flat before, but I still showed them where the extra towels and soap was in the bathroom. “The party’s at seven tonight, and dinner will be served. I’ve got to go a little earlier, but I’m just a text away if you need anything.”

“My baby,” my mum said, her eyes glistening, “we are so proud of you!”

I found myself enveloped in another tight hug, this time joined by my father. The lump in my throat grew when I thought of their praise. Too often, I had taken their support for granted. “I love you both.”

“We love you, mija.”

A sudden knock on my door had us pulling apart. “Were you expecting anyone, baby?” my mum asked, going to the front foyer and looking out the foggy windows. “It’s a boy, Roberto!”

“What?” 

I moved around my frozen parents to answer the door, swinging it open and greeting Harry Styles’s smiling face with a blank look. I had no idea what Harry was doing here, but he really had very impeccable timing. 

And by impeccable, I meant shit. 

“Morning! I was thinking about grabbing something to eat at a little bistro around here and thought I’d come by and see what you were up to today. Wanna join?”

Speech wouldn’t come. I felt the stares of my parents behind me, still hidden from Harry’s view, and how they would squeal and gush when they found out I was on somewhat good terms with Harry Styles, something they’d been trying to get me to do for years. “Harry—”

“Harry?” My mum’s voice asked loudly from where she was standing. She marched up behind me and swung the door open a little wider so he could clearly see her. “Oh my goodness! Harry Styles! Petra, it’s Harry Styles!”

“I know who he is, Mum,” I whispered in an embarrassed voice.

“Last time I saw you, you were about four feet tall,” My mother cooed, stepping forward. Before Harry could react, she had him in a tight hug, wrapping her arms around his body. “Petra didn’t tell me you were friends again!”

I bit down the urge to argue that we were never friends, but my mother wouldn’t listen. She never had when it had come to my bullies at school. “Just give them a chance to change, Petra,” she had told me when I would bury my face in her shoulder and cry that I didn’t want to go to school.

“Hi, Mrs. Gallego. I didn’t know you guys were coming to town. Sorry for intruding on family day. I was just coming down to this part of town to grab some lunch and wanted to see if Petra could come. No worries, though. I don’t want to take away—”

“Nonsense!” My father cut in, reaching out his hand for Harry to shake. “Nice to see you again, Harry. Feel free to take Petra to lunch. We’re probably going to nap a little before her release party tonight. The drive was long.”

“Release party?” Harry asked, glancing back and forth between my parents and me.

I awkwardly scratched the side of my head. “My, er, book is being released tonight.” 

“What? Petra, that’s amazing!” His smile seemed genuine enough, but all I wanted was to shut the door and rewind the last five minutes. I never would have answered the door in front of my parents if I had known it was going to be Harry on the other side. “If you, um, want to go...it can be a celebratory lunch. And obviously you all are invited, Mr. and Mrs. Gallego.”

“Oh, Harry, we’d love to come, wouldn’t we, Petra?”

My eyes moved between Harry’s cautiously hopeful face and my parents, who were already grabbing my mum’s purse and getting ready to leave. In their eyes, I had already agreed. “Sure,” I said uncomfortably. “That’s fine. Let me just call an Uber for us and we’ll follow behind you.”

“Oh, don’t be silly, Petra. We can call an Uber and you can go with Harry.”

There was no arguing with Eva Gallego when she set her mind to something, so I just nodded. “Okay. Er...I guess that settles that.”

We awkwardly stood around in my foyer until my mum cleared her throat. “Petra, darling, aren’t you going to invite Harry in while we wait for our ride?”

“Right. Come on in, Harry.”

His gaze locked on mine, expression questioning. I knew he felt the tension that was creeping up inside me with having him in the same room as my parents, but I didn’t want to get into it. Not when I knew it would ruin my night. The morning had already started off with self-destructive behavior as I looked back at some of the tweets about my day out with Harry from February. I had never been as aware of my appearance as I was in that moment, scrolling through absolute strangers saying the worst things. I had an extra appointment with Doctor Thorne this week to make up for it.

“How long have you and Petra been hanging out again?” My mum asked as we all sat in my living room. 

“A couple of months. She contacted me in January about being on the show. It was an amazing experience.”

“I just love listening to Petra’s podcast,” my father said happily, reaching over and patting my knee. “I have no clue what she’s talking about half the time, but she sounds damn smart saying it.”

“She’s incredibly smart,” Harry agreed, and I ignored the urge to bang my head on the coffee table. I didn’t want him agreeing with my parents about my intelligence. We weren’t really that good of friends, if I even considered us friends yet. I had admitted to myself that Harry had definitely changed for the better, but that didn’t mean the past hurt went away.

“I almost forgot, mija! Your grandma sent you Materva. She said you wrote her an email about it.”

Normally, I would be jumping for joy. The first and only time my grandmother had visited from Cuba, she had brought Materva with her and it had become my favorite drink. With Harry here, however, I felt uncomfortable and self-conscious. I squirmed a little in my seat.

“That was nice of her. I’ll email her and tell her thank you. Want me to put it in the fridge?”

My father went off to my room to grab the Materva and Harry raised a quizzical eyebrow. “What is Moterva?”

“Materva,” my mum corrected with a smile. “It’s a soda.”

“And it’s delicious. Remind Petra to let you try some later,” my father said, returning with a set of six cans. “She sent us more, but we’re selfish and kept the rest of it at home for us.”

He stocked them in my fridge and pulled out his phone when he heard the small chime. “Our Uber is here. We’ll see you two at the restaurant.”

I made sure they made it into their car okay before I hesitantly pulled open the door of Harry’s. We both got ourselves situated, clicking our seatbelts into place. 

He didn’t start the car.

“I didn’t know your parents would be here,” he said, offering me an apologetic smile. “I could tell it...it made you uncomfortable.”

“I’m just not used to this.” I gestured back and forth between us with my hand. “And my parents...they mean well, but when I was in secondary school and coming home to them crying, they told me to try and make friends with you guys. They didn’t really understand how hard that would have been. They think I should let bygones be bygones and I want to...but I don’t know if I can just yet.”

“I completely understand.” He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel. “Can I ask you something a little personal?”

“I don’t know if I’ll answer.” Honesty seemed to be the best approach with Harry.

“Why do you seem so embarrassed when your Cuban heritage is mentioned around me? When your dad brought out the soda, it looks like you were going to stab yourself with a fork.”

Go back to where you came from, Gallego. Nathan Penrose’s voice filtered through my thoughts. To them, I wasn’t English enough for England. But it was almost worse to feel that I wasn’t Cuban enough for Cuba.

“It’s about what that prick Nathan said when we were younger, right?” he asked softly, his fingers tightening around the steering wheel remembering it. “I so wish I would have punched him in the face.”

“It’s not just Nathan. That’s a big part of it, but it’s not just you I feel uncomfortable talking about it with.”

“Okay. You don’t have to talk about it, but...just know you can, if you ever want to. I’m serious about trying to be friends, Petra.”

The rest of the car ride was spent in silence, with some pop song playing lowly over the speakers. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, per se, but it made me wriggle around in my seat and wish I was sitting at the restaurant already. I wasn’t used to silences with Harry not trying to fill the space with his random thoughts. I appreciated that he was letting me just sit and absorb the moments, but it was also unnerving.

We pulled up to the little bistro right after my parents, who had already decided to get a table for us. Harry walked around to the other side of his car and opened the door for me, holding out his hand to help me out. My parents waved us over from their table outside, pulling out our chairs. I was seated between Harry and my mum, across from my father. It meant that I caught the sly looks they gave me whenever Harry was engrossed with his menu.

“What’s good here, Harry?” My mum asked after a couple moments of looking.

“I like their vegan buffalo wings and macaroni.”

“You’re vegan?” I asked in surprise, raising a brow at him.

“No, but I eat plant based meat when I can. And most places make their vegan wings with cauliflower, which hurts my stomach. This place makes them with mushrooms.”

“Petra loves mushrooms. You should try them, sweetheart.”

I set my menu down without really looking at it. “I’m getting a bagel and their cucumber and edamame salad.” Since both of my parents loved cucumbers, I knew I would be sharing at least a few bites with them. It was normal for us to sample each other’s meals. “What are you getting, Mum?”

“Maybe the chicken breast and mashed potato lunch special. Your father, predictable as ever, is getting a burger.”

My dad shrugged. “Don’t fix what isn’t broken.”

The waitress eyed Harry a little longer than necessary when she came to take our orders, but eventually left. I could tell he would be getting asked to take a picture before he left, despite how unprofessional that was. Then I thought about if it had been Hayden Christensen if I had been the waitress and understood what the fuss was about. 

“So, Harry,” my mum said after a long sip of her lemonade, which I knew meant she was going to ask a lot of questions, “what have you been doing now that you’re solo? I ran into your Mum when she was visiting home for a couple of weeks and she showed me one of your music videos. You’re very talented!”

I’d never seen Harry Styles blush, but I noticed a faint twinge of pink on his cheeks. “Thank you, Mrs. Gallego. I’m writing some more music right now, but I’m not sure when the next album will be out.”

“We just love listening to your first album. We listen to your group stuff too,” Mum commented, tapping her nails on her wrist. “Petra has a wonderful singing voice, did you know?”

Before Harry could question the statement, my father and I both snorted. “No, she doesn’t, Eva. No offense, mija.”

“None taken. I sound like a dying animal. Mum, I hate to tell you this, but the last time I sang, you were very intoxicated and would have thought our next door neighbor’s cat was Shakira.”

“Petra’s good at other things, though. She’s awesome on Alien Crossing. And I’m sure her book is going to be fantastic,” Harry supplied helpfully. 

“Has she invited you to the party tonight? I know her other friends are coming. Jeremiah, Veronica, and Melody?”

I shifted in my seat. Harry looked pained, like he didn’t want to say anything that would hurt my mum’s feelings. I hadn’t invited him to the book release party because this book was mine, something untainted by the memories of secondary school. Talking about my nerd stuff on AC was one thing, but publishing them on paper was another. “Mum…” I trailed off.

“He could come with us! Are you going to buy a copy of the book, Harry?” 

“Mum, he’s not going to buy—”

“Yeah, actually. I preordered it on my phone. And I was going to buy a hard copy, as well.”

Harry’s words had my mouth closing in surprise. I blinked over at him, at his secretive little smile when he raised his soda up to his lips and took a sip. “You preordered it?” I whispered, my throat thick with some emotion I couldn’t identify. “You’re not gonna understand it all.”

“Well, I’ll understand the Lord of the Rings bits now. And anything unfamiliar I come across, I’ll just make a note to watch or read it.”

This action felt more significant than anything that had happened in our hesitant friendship thus far. Even though he had introduced me to John Williams and had brought me a plant, this was the thing that felt essential. I felt like the Grinch in that moment, my heart growing a size bigger and allowing room for hesitant optimism to sink in. Maybe Harry Styles and I actually could be friends. 

Which was why when my mum suggested him coming another time, I shyly looked over at him and said, “Of course you can come if you’d like. I’ll text you the details.”

~

My publisher had rented out the Aldgate Library at my college for the release.

It felt weird stepping back into the library, stumbling a little in my black heels when I accidentally grazed a rock on the sidewalk right outside. The last time I had been here, I had my hair in a messy ponytail and was in tears at midnight trying to study for my last finals of my university career. Now, I was publishing a book. It felt surreal.

I smoothed down the skirt of my red dress, trying my best not to chew on my lip. Veronica had meticulously spread some kind of red lip stain on it that was supposed to be long lasting, but I didn’t trust it’s longevity against my teeth nervously biting at it. Plus, I knew pictures would be taken tonight and the last thing I needed was to have lipstick on my teeth. 

“Petra!” My publisher said, walking out of Aldgate in a tailored suit. She was also wearing a little badge that had “Aimee Metcalfe, Dorrance Publishing” printed right underneath a fantastic photo of her. I found myself jealous. My ID photos never came out that great. “What’re you doing standing outside? Come in, you numpty!”

I gave Aimee a quick salute and followed her inside, trying to keep up with her. As familiar as she was walking in heels, it was a new skill set to me entirely. She led me through the front of Aldgate and back into one of the large common area study rooms, which had been transformed for the launch. There was a giant banner hung up on the far left side, with #Aliens #Bigfoot #Nerds printed over it in sparkling letters. In front of the banner was a table decorated with cupcakes and cake pops, each the same color blue as my book cover, which featured a picture of myself that I hated but Aimee had insisted the readers would love. Jeremiah and Zach were shoving their faces with one of the cake pops, while Veronica looked on in disgust. Bailey was chatting with Melody by the photo booth that Aimee had suggested, which when printed, would frame the pictures in the same hashtags the banner provided.

My parents were crying in the corner of the room.

I went to them first, holding out my arms. My mum immediately let out a wail, pulling me into an embrace. “This is supposed to be a happy day, Mum.”

“Oh, I’m so happy for you, sweetheart. You have worked so hard. And you look beautiful.” She pulled back to examine my dress and makeup, pressing her hand to her mouth when she did. “Such a beautiful young woman, inside and out. Oh, how did we get so lucky, Roberto?”

My dad smiled at me. “Proud doesn’t even cover it, mija. Your mum has demanded she be first in the book signing line.”

“Oh, I did not, Roberto!”

“Petra,” Aimee said, interrupting our conversation. She introduced herself to my parents and then led me over to the podium. “You’re going to do the reading, and then Terri and I put together a fun little trivia game about some of the fandoms in the book. Whoever wins that will get a free signed copy. Afterwards, you’re on book signing duty. We’ve got about twelve hundred Sharpies lined up for you. Questions?”

My head was spinning with all the information, but I found myself growing excited. This was something I had put blood, sweat, and tears into. And I was finally getting to share it with the people who meant the most to me. “None so far. I’ll flag you down if any come up.”

“Good. Oh,” she said, reaching into her bag, “keep this close. This is your best friend when you’re up there reading and when you’re signing books.”

She handed me a water bottle with room temperature water, which was apparently better for the vocal cords. Then she was pushing me towards the podium and I hid the water bottle on the hidden shelf on my side. My book was sitting there, my own face staring back at me.

When I looked into the sea of people, I saw my friends giving me encouraging looks and my parents crying happily, my mother now with a tissue from the dessert bar that she pressed underneath her eyes every five seconds. The rest of the people in the room were people who were avid listeners of AC, the ones who sent in messages for me to read. I noticed Daisy Callahan sitting at one of the tables, shooting looks over to Jeremiah and smiling like a smitten school girl. I made a mental note to ask Jeremiah if they were officially together after the reading.

And then, there was Harry Styles.

It looked like he had just come in, dressed in a nice suit in a dark red color. I was so used to seeing him in bright neons when he was dressed up that the muted burgundy almost faded into the background. However, he was still Harry Styles and it was hard for Harry to do anything but stand out. He was fidgeting with his suit jacket, messing around with the collar of it before he looked up and caught my eye.

I wondered what he saw, looking at me standing up on the podium. I knew what my friends and family saw; they saw me finally getting one of my big wishes to come true. But what did Harry Styles, who already got his dream, see? 

I didn’t have time to think about it, because Aimee was gesturing for me to start the reading. She was helping usher people to their seats, and I felt the weight of more than just Harry’s eyes on me.

“Good evening everyone,” I said into the small microphone attached in front of me. “Thank you all for coming. This is the culmination of blood, sweat, tears, and other bodily substances I won’t mention. I can’t wait to share it with you. This reading comes from chapter seven, in which I discuss why Game of Thrones actually became so popular and how I think the last season is going to go, amongst other things.”

Jeremiah let out an embarrassing whooping sound and I rolled my eyes. 

Then, I read.

If I had expected to be embarrassed standing there in front of a crowd, reading the words I had written, I was wrong. Instead of feeling down, like I had so many times before when I discussed the things I loved, I felt powerful. Because yeah, Nathan Penrose could be a racist asshole all he wanted, and his friends could drop all my books in the puddle. But I had done it. I had written my book, I had a kickass podcast that introduced me to my best friends, and I was filled with an uncharacteristic pride.

So I went along with it. It’s what Doctor Thorne would have wanted. But more importantly, it was what I wanted.

Aimee had been a lifesaver with the water, as I found myself finishing up my excerpt and drinking nearly all of it during the applause. “Thank you,” I said after I had capped the bottle and set it back where I had it hidden. “Thank you to Aimee Metcalfe, my knight in shining armor through this process. Thank you to Terri Patterson, who spent night and day editing. Thank you to everyone at Dorrance Publishing who put up with trying to get copyright issues taken care of because I wrote about some of the biggest money shark companies in here,” I paused for the light laughter that trickled through the room. “But most importantly, thank you to my friends and family and everyone who supported me through this. It means the world. I hope you enjoy the rest of the book.”

There was a small table with stacks and stacks of my book. I didn’t think I’d ever seen that many pictures of me in one place before, including my parents’ house. Aimee started up the trivia game, and I heard the first question asked about what the aliens that destroyed New York in the first Avengers movie was called while I took my seat at the table.

“The book is awesome.” I heard from my left. I turned, seeing Harry standing beside the table, leaning against a pillar. “I could tell you love it when you were reading.”

“It’s a little overwhelming to see it all finished,” I said, awkwardly gesturing to the pile of books in front of me. 

“Would you ever want to write fiction?”

I shrugged. “I’m not sure. For now, no. I might change my mind later.” He nodded, fixing his suit jacket again like he had been earlier. “I didn’t expect you to come,” I said after a few moments.

His eyes crinkled and his head tilted to the side, like he was confused. “Why? You invited me and this is important to you. I wouldn’t miss it.”

“It wasn’t hard...with the paps or anything?”

His jaw set and told me everything I needed to know. “I’ve got someone on security here tonight, just in case. I’m not gonna let anything ruin your big night, including paps. There was someone who recognized my car, but I don’t think anyone else is coming.” He unclenched his jaw and looked down at me. A softer look took over his face. “You look gorgeous. That color reminds me of the dress you wore to prom.”

I blinked. “You didn’t talk to me at prom.”

In fact, I had spent most of prom standing in the corner, nursing the lemonade I had gotten myself. Nathan Penrose had spiked it, but not before I had gotten myself a cup. I had saved up all my money for the pretty red spaghetti strap dress, but looking back it was a useless purchase. I didn’t have fun and was home drinking tea and watching Legally Blonde by midnight.

Harry gave me a small smile. “No, but I saw you. I remembered thinking you looked so beautiful and how I was an idiot for how I’d treated you.”

“You did not,” I argued, rolling my eyes at his statement. “You were thinking of your audition and what song you were going to sing. I wasn’t even a blip on your radar.”

He shrugged, bringing his own water up to his lips. “Think what you think. Doesn’t change the fact you looked gorgeous— then and now.”

I fiddled with one of the books in front of me. I didn’t know how to take his compliment. It was something I’d always been bad at, but especially when it came to Harry. Part of me wanted so badly to believe he was telling the truth; he had seen me at prom and thought I looked pretty and was looking at me now and seeing the same thing. The other part of me was hardened and cold, telling myself not to fall for it.

In the end I just decided to ignore his comment. If I didn’t acknowledge it, then I didn’t have to dissect my feelings on it.

“I’ve got to take off. I’m sorry I can’t stay long. I’m flying out to Los Angeles tonight for some meetings. But I wanted to be here.” He held up one of my books and set it in front of me. “Last time I asked, you said you wouldn’t sign it.”

“Wipe that cheeky grin off your face. Of course I’ll sign it.” He slipped a fifty pound note onto the table (more than double what he actually had to pay for the book) and opened up the title page.

The blank page stared at me. There were so many things I could write. Aimee advised me just to sign my name, but that felt too impersonal for Harry. Uncapping the pen, I held down the page with my other hand to keep it steady.

Live long and prosper, my young padawan.

Petra Gallego

He grinned when I handed it back to him. “I’m reading this on my flight to LA.”

“Might put you to sleep.”

“I don’t think it could,” he argued, tucking it under his arm. “Think I could...um...text you while I’m there?”

“I can’t control what you do or don’t do, Harry.”

“Yeah, but I wanted to give you the choice.”

The choice to talk to him. It was something I didn’t have in secondary school, but I realized a small part of me acknowledged that it was something I didn’t have now, either. There was something in me that wanted to see where this friendship with Harry went and if we could make it work.

“Yeah, Harry. You can text me when you’re in LA.”

Which was how I woke up the next morning, with a message reading: Made it to LA. Didn’t stop reading once. And despite what you may think, I didn’t fall asleep either.

~

A/N: Here is the next installment of AC! I hope you guys liked reading as much as I loved writing. I’m just so happy for Petra!

#ac #1dff #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles ou