#also hi hello i am about to go to Real Life things UGH

[wannab-urs]

The Spreadsheet Digest - Vol 17

Hello darlings!

It was another big week - 24 fics! I should really start sleeping at night instead of reading until 3 am.... oh well. Enjoy the fruits of my sleep disorder!

You can find the Spreadsheet in all it's organizational glory here and all of my previous recommendations here.

Recommendations below the pedro meme (created by @gasolinerainbowpuddles)

Ravish -a Joel series by @psychedelic-ink

I've read a few like... cam girl/chat service/sex work type AUs and I have to say this is one of my favorites. I really really love the little Dieter cameos. And a little birdie (the literal author) told me he may be making an appearance in a future installment??? I am so excited ugh. Joel is like... stunningly hot in this despite being the kind of guy that falls in love with a cam girl. Yummy yummy

Seven minutes in heaven (the bathroom) -a Frankie one shot by @tieronecrush

A fun twist on the bathroom quickie trope. Frankie is so filthy in this fic and it is fantastic. I really like the ending also. Made me giggle

A Savage Place - a Joel series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

SUB JOEL MY BELOVED!!! This is one of those more realistic sub joels where he's confused as fuck about liking it, but he really clearly needs someone to take control for a little while. I really fucking love this so much. (there's pegging in part 2 @ my pegging enthusiasts <3 ) Reader is hot as hell, also. GOD I love this.

Whistle in the Dark - a Joel series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Romantic cucking <3 No but okay the like basic plot is that your husband is a piece of shit who cheats on you so you like forcibly cuck him with Joel and Joel has feelings and it's sooooo hot and so good and like... affirming? and sweet? And your husband deserves to have his dick cut off bc he does something real fucked up, but having to watch Joel Miller dick his wife down GOOD is a start.

He hurt me but it felt like true love - a Joel one shot by @iamasaddie

Mean sexy Joel is pissy cause he found your dildo and he's gonna make that your problem. It's so hot. Vaginal DP????? GOD DAMN. Someone said DP isn't depraved a while back (eyeroll). They should read this. This is beautifully depraved

Feral Woman - a Joel series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

This series has me feeling so many emotions. Watching FW/reader/Julia/Bug heal over time and learn to trust again is so fucking good. Susan is the light of my motherfuckin life I love that woman with all my heart. This series is GORGEOUS

Endless Night - a Joel series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

yes i basically worked my way through Puddles' masterlist can you fucking blame me look at this shit. Anyway. EnNi reader/OC is, on the surface, the sunshine to Joel's grump. But the thing I love about her is that she's got this underlying darkness that adds so much depth to the grumpy x sunshine trope. I'm also eating up the borderline enemies to lovers dynamic going on here. Joel is such a dick lmao. I'm so excited for the rest of this fic.

All the good girls go to hell - an Ezra one shot by @psychedelic-ink

DUBCON with PRIEST EZRA yesssssss. The Haunted Hoedown is the gift that keeps on giving. This fic is so fucking HOT. Ezra as a priest seems so wrong and so right at the same time. This is excellent. I'd gladly go to hell for this man UNF.

Three's a crowd - a Marcus P/Javi P one shot by @agentmarcuspike

Marcus motherfuckin cute ass baby Pike watches Javier Peña fuck you. Yeah. Cucking Marcus Pike. That's what this is. Marcus is also characterized perfectly. Like this is so fucking cute actually. And it's really hot. obviously.

Begging for you to take my hand - a Joel series by @jupiter-soups

This fic is driving me up the wall in the best way. Joel is a big dumb idiot man who is like... not emotionally intelligent enough to realize he's in the wrong while trying to do what he perceives to be the "right thing." Here's what I commented verbatim on part 2 "Joel 'You Deserve Better Than Me' Miller back on his bullshit. I love this so much. Joel is so sad and so stupid i kinda wanna hit him." So if you're like me and you like to watch Joel be a sad little idiot who is also super hot.... this is the one

Refuge - a Joel series by @cool-iguana

GAH THIS IS SO GOOD!!! This fic really situates you in reader's head. Like you feel disoriented and frustrated and scared when she does and you feel like a powerful badass when she does and it's SO good. Basically in this one your husband joel shows up with some kid who is def not your kid in Jackson after you've been there for a hot minute and it's a big wtf moment. There's some other shit going on that I don't wanna spoil but like... this is so good. I know I keep saying that but GOT DAMN

Exposed - a Javi P one shot by @atticrissfinch

big fat dub con warning on this one. I so rarely see Javi written as a creep and I really fucking enjoyed it. I would like to humbly request more creep!professor!javi p

The Apprentice - a Dave York one shot by @pedropascalsx

This has like mafia!au vibes while not really being that, but what I mean by that is that the big bad murder daddy who you thought you'd be scared of saves you from murder father (ur dad). I really liked the characterization of Dave in this and the smut was HOT

Stockings - a Joel one shot by @atticrissfinch

Daddy kink daddy kink daddy kink. This is inspired by a photo that literally looks like denim shirt joel is helping you put your stockings on. This fic manages to be adorable and aggressively hot at the same time. I am in love.

Slumber - a Joel one shot by @cool-iguana

I love a good somno fic. also this is literally their 2nd fic they ever wrote and it's so good?! TALENT. There was a thing in this that caught me off guard bc I fully did not read the warnings, but I was not at all mad about it... HOT

Yearling - a Joel series by @justagalwhowrites

Holy motherfuckin shit balls dude. I'm noticing that I'm reading a lot of Reader-Who-Is-Extremely-Traumatized fics this week and I refuse to examine why that is but also they all have handled the heavy content very very well. Anyway. Reader is super duper good with horses and Joel is so soft and Ellie is so Ellie and I love all of this. I really love the way Kit builds the world in her fics. Like the opening chapter and then the way Bambi's back story is built up and the spaces that she exists in, they're all so vivid and good and real to me. I'm so fucking in love with the way Kit includes these details like reader singing and playing music, joel's coat, the light on in the house when Bambi is gone. It feels like nothing is there just to be there, like it's all important and it has a significant impact on the story and man... (also if you're worried about starting a longfic that's not finished, it updates like twice a fuckin week. Fast writer lol).

The Cabin in the Woods- a Dave York one shot by @xdaddysprincessxx

Getting kidnapped by Dave York and held in his cabin in the woods. Dark dark dark fic and so fucking well written. Love this <3

Isn't She a Doll? - a Dave York one shot by @proxima-writes

You are Dave's perfect little housewife and that is definitely the only thing going on here. Nothing out of the ordinary at all. (just read it)

Who do you call? - a Joel one shot by @chloeangelic

Your hot neighbor Joel helps you get rid of a spider! How sweet of him. Oh and then he rails you on the couch. I really love the way they have a whole conversation while they're fucking about how long it's been since they've fucked anyone. Chloe just has this wonderful way of infusing humor into really really hot fics that I adore

Does your mother know? - a Joel one shot by @cupofjoel

Another bathroom quickie for the rec list and god DAMN this one is hot. Close Family Friend!Joel (god I love putting this man in situations). There's something about being forced to stay quiet that just makes everything hotter.

Cellmate's Nephew!Joel - a Joel series by @toxicanonymity

JoJo is actually the love of my life. His tattoos, his voice, his dick print.... sigh. Can't wait to get out prison so this man can rail me on every available surface between the prison and Mabel's house.

The Man That I Love - a Joel series by @lumoverheaven

Joel is an idiot who doesn't know what he has until he almost loses it. The first part is heartwrenching and sad and I love it. The second part is wonderful and makes me tear up a lil

I said I didn't feel nothing, baby, but I lied - a Veracruz one shot by @iamasaddie

Veracruz is so hot. I swear that man could punch me in the face and I'd suck his dick for it (that is not healthy oops). This lovely little drabble is literally just you getting your ass spanked so raw you won't be able to sit for a week and it's HOT AS HELL

Creep - a Joel one shot by @theywhowriteandknowthings

Joel Miller is your super hot creepy neighbor and he manages to get you to fuck him and that is definitely the only thing going on here. nothing fishy at all. nope. totally normal reader fucks her creepy neighbor fic. (just fucking trust me and read it ok?)

---------------------------------

Happy Reading!

#fic recs #the spreadsheet digest #fanfiction recommendations #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro fics #pedro pascal character fanfiction

[domtheforestgnome]

Moments my heart sequentially broke for Wilhelm in season 2 part 2

Hello! It's me again with another post about moments my heart sequentially broke for Wilhelm in season 2 of Young Royals. Here's part 1. And also there are Part 1 and Part 2 for Simon.

What's noticeable - based on these posts - till this moment Wilhelm has suffered mostly because of being rejected by Simon, whereas Simon is being hit from different directions (being in the destructive relationship with Marcus and hearing not nice stuff from him, being erased by Royal Court publicly, having hard time with his "long lost" sister, still being bullied by other students in Hillerska for his non-royal backgrounds)...

Yeah, that's my observation, feel free to make your conclusions based on it. Anyway my heart broke this season for Wilhelm when...

Simon agreed Wille's position actually IS problematic for him when it comes to their relationship. I mean, I really want to cry every time I see it.

I know the feeling, kiddo. I know the feeling sooo well. I wanted to hug him, and I really was disappointed he and Felice didn't go together to the ball, even though I got that she wasn't a fan of fueling the rumors with it.

On the other hand, watching Wilhelm like that is not entirely bad for him and feeling all those feelings. I imagine him trying to live the normal life, partying and all of that, and that could be also just to feel something, forcing and pushing things to extreme level - but the pain of being punch probably felt pretty real.

And here he wasn't in control and still felt something really strong and difficult. And in my opinion even though heartbreak is never easy, it was actually good for him to experience that as a... prince.

Do I even have to say anything? This scene is a masterpiece. Also it reminds me of the one in season 1. The one after Wilhelm learns that his mom knew about August's deeds and tried to excuse it with acknowledging Erik's legacy. Back then, I could really feel that he's so lonely and not gonna lie, I was really worried about his mental health in that moment - like "Please, Wilhelm, don't do anything bad to yourself, pleaseee". Though, this time he's not alone. At least he's got Felice, Boris, and even Nils to talk about it.

Yeah, I'd rather Wille and Felice went together for that ball. He was so lost. And Simon brought Marcus, not really making things easy for Wille.

Look how tired he was! Seeing him literally on the verge of exhaustion after putting all his energy to talk politely to Marcus and respectfully informing Simon, he surrenders. I'm so done!

Kissing Simon and still being very careful. Like, it all was still so fragile like glass in that moment.

When Wille made breakfast for Simon and the boy didn't want it, suddenly being very reserved towards Wille. The change in the mood after their kiss at the ball must be confusing.

Ugh... "all the things he said, all the things he said, running through my head" moment. Like Simon said lots of hurtful (still true) things to Wilhelm, and I am sorry for the kid bc it can hurt two times more when you really believe you doing things with a good will... I was watching that moment with sympathy for the kid. He believed he was doing the right thing and he really tried to administer justice towards August.

Him panicking and getting totally none of a response to it by Jan Olof and the other man. Like "you don't have to be sorry" would be nice to hear in this situation.

When he learnt August is his back-up.

I am proud of his reaction though - breathing and dealing with the news. Like before, kind of similar situation to that one in season 1 episode 6, but the reaction and also Kristina's emphasis on being in this together as a mother-son family, made it really different. They can do it. I believe it.

But later on I'm watching this scene and now as I am thinking about that...I might got manipulated just as Wilhelm. The way he said that his Mom is counting on him and therefore he should be doing all those things, the Royal Court want him to do, and yet it's so difficult for him. I mean I see a 16yo boy, but at the same time he talks and looks way more younger child. You can see that he loves his family so much too and cares for them, but the official role part is really messing ways of showing that.

When he was harsh for himself, being annoyed with the characters choices in the "Kris".

When everything started to collapse bc Simon didn't change his mind about going to police.

This whole sequence.

Oh, the longing. His thrive for the touch.

They shouldn't be scared!!! They're still children!!! I can't.

Yeah, I mean... Somehow my heart is even more broken for Wille here than for Simon, probably bc he's not stopping himself anymore from being that close to another boy. I know that Young Royals is not exactly about that (internal) struggle, but thinking about him in season 1 - all the pushing and pressure to have it in control, not let himself kiss Simon then kissing him, not wanting to be more than friends, then liking him too much for that, then all the video thing. He really wanted to be close to Simon, and here he finally was without stopping himself!!! And all their future was so unknown and scary. God!

...

Ok, I need a brake. That's all for now.

Take care!

Now with Part 3

#young royals #simon eriksson #wilmon #prince wilhelm #edvin ryding #omar rudberg #crown prince wilhelm #season 2 #analisys #more like observation #moments my heart broke #for wilhelm

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hello it's astronomy anon again ! (yes my name is because of Conan gray)

Thank you for your last answer !! I'm currently trying to figure out my gender (it takes time but it's okay) and now I have another thing I'm questioning : am I somewhere on the ace spectrum ?

actually its something I've been wondering about way before my gender but I didn't know who to ask for help and I kinda decided it was a problem for later but I think the quicker I'm know the better.

So here's the thing : I think that if someone tells me I'm never going to have sex in my life, I wouldn't mind. I might actually be relived because I'm a very anxious person and the idea of sex stresses me a lot. but I'm also a minor and I don't know if I'm not just too young. I also never masturbated and I don't plan on doing it and again I don't know if it's because I'm young or if it's something I'm supposed to do at my age. so yeah I don't know.

-AA

Hi!!!

Ugh love Conan.

So first of all I’m gonna tread lightly bc you’re a minor. However:

So here’s the thing with anything in life, really: you do not have to do anything before you’re ready. There’s no “normal for your age.” It’s whatever you feel comfortable with! What you’re saying right now is that you don’t feel comfortable with these things. That can be a complete thought. You don’t need to figure out yet if it’s because you’re young or because you’re ace.

Honestly I can’t tell you if it is that you’re ace or not. I think that might take some more reflection on where the anxiety comes from. That might be something you could think about with a trusted person (sorry not to get too deep here, just trying to keep boundaries since you’re a minor).

Whatever you decide/figure out, though, please know that there’s no real “normal.” You are allowed to like or not like things and that’s okay ❤️

#ask #asks #asks cas

[yellowloid]

Hello! I wanted to share my experience since I saw your post about recent gig, if it's ok :) I was in Paris at the Accor Arena too, but on May 10th. It was their 3rd show in a row and for some reason I was worried that they would be tired by this point, but no!! Alex was in some kind of an upper mood, quite excited even. Yeah, somewhere between songs he said "we are (or I am) exhausted at this point, but we are so happy" or smth like that. In fact, English is not my first language, and it was difficult to understand him sometimes, and I understood some phrases only after the concert from the fan videos on Instagram lol

Btw, he spoke French quite often that day, almost more than English ahahha. He greeted us in French, constantly thanked us in French with merci, "big ideas" was also said in French, and during dsdcihmyc he shouted "chair" in French. And during Body Paint, he awkwardly touched a standing guitar with a cord and dropped it that I couldn’t stop laughing afterwards. But outro BP was something incredibly exciting, he was great, completely immersed in what he was doing. During I wanna be yours, I almost cried, he sang it so soulfully, as if mentally returning to past happy moments in his memory. Oh, and yes, we had Cornerstone. Sorry...

As for the crowd, I completely agree with you. But, even though I had sitting places, already on the second song everyone stood up and did not sit down until the very end, dancing and screaming (me in particularly). To the right and left sides of me there were cute grandfathers in earplugs (funny that there alone, like they literally came to listen to the group, not to spend time with their grandchildren), who danced more actively than me and filmed every song on the phone ahhaha, it was very nice to see them! And before the encore, the stadium was shaking with clatter and I had goosebumps all over my body, the applause did not stop for a minute until they came out again. But yes, there was clearly a revival on the hype songs from AM, and on the songs from The Car everyone calmed down a bit. Of course, this is not Glasto, but still the audience was on fire.

And there were many more moments when he sang "I am a fool for you" directly to the camera, shouted something in the middle of the songs or between them, bowled on Pretty Visitors, said some little phrases between each song, it's unforgettable. I even had a mental breakdown after the concert, like only after the gig I realized that I saw them live and that they all were REAL indeed. Alex is so tiny sweety pie, and when he was blowing kisses at the very end and smiling sincerely, it made him look like a child. I just love them all so so much. I want to go to one more concert, because it really went disastrously fast.

Best experience in my life, happy that you also had it! ❤️

how dare you do this to me while i'm still drowning in concert nostalgia sjhdggdgsg

the usual french banter was actually so wholesome at my show too <3 definitely expected him to say something more but you won't catch me complaining shfgsg. and the "LA CHAISE" moment at yours was so random and silly how did y'all not collectively eat him. also not him dropping a guitar LMAOOOO

and i absolutely agree, body paint is already such a powerful song (it's been in my top three from the car from the very first moment eheheh) but hearing it live is just so........uGH it's soso powerful and the instrumental part when he always goes to jamie and they do their thing is absolutely beautiful and intense and aaaaa <///3

ugh i'll never forgive them for not giving me cornerstone and i was very upset about that BUT i have to say i probably would've been even MORE upset if they played perfect sense because i feel like it's rarer yknow? it's much more likely for them to play cornerstone (for obvious reasons) rather than perfect sense or even star treatment (which thankfully i got sjghdgf)

also iwby.......yeah. he always looks so pensive when he sings that and i'm like who HURT you babygirl <////3

yeah about the audience it was exactly the same at my show, we were all standing up and jumping around for most of the concert (mostly am and fwn tracks) but then the majority would go dead for specific songs, mostly from the car. but you can BET i was still singing my heart out. and also YEAH can we talk about the applause at the end of the main set and after the encore???? it just didn't stop it lasted SO LONG and it was SO WELL DESERVED because they were AMAZING

i awww'ed out loud at the grandfathers that is literally so sweet. i hope they had a great time :')

i don't remember if he bowled at my show but he did raise the mic stand in the air during pretty visitors sjfhsgfgs i also think he did something similar to what you said during sias, or maybe another song i don't remember - but yeah he pointed directly at the camera and i saw it on the big screen and almost collapsed right there and then lmao. and when he kept waving goodbye and blowing kisses and smiling he was so pretty and he really looked happy to be there and i just never wanted him to get off stage :') i truly wanted that moment to last forever.

the feeling you get once you realize that you're actually seeing them/you saw them is CRAZY. like they exist! they're real and tangible and you were in the same place as them! breathing the same air! and right after it's done (it literally goes by so fast) you start missing them so much. it's almost been two weeks and i'm still so emotional and nostalgic <///3 i love them so much and i miss them terribly.

thank you for sharing your experience anon, it was a pleasure reading about it and i'm happy we both had a great time!!

#I MISS THEM I MISS THEM #THEY WERE SO PERFECT I WANT TO GO BACK LET ME GO BACK #</////////3 #answered #arctic monkeys #accor arena

[g-xix]

Grace my love!! Have you watched the new sidemen Sunday?? I’m an hour in, any thoughts if you have???

Hey Buzzy Bae! (hope I'm okay to call u that :) )

Saw this come in ystrdy but was only about 10 mins in and wanted to give you a good answer so I've let it marinate and watched so that I am now also about 1 hour into the video

Hmmmmmmm very very interesting Sidemen Sunday, this one... I'll list down a bunch of rando thoughts n u evaluate them with me and give your own opinions also

For reference, this is the Sidemen Sunday of the week:

SO! Thoughts:

Simon always hits so well whenever he's host - moresidemen, main channel sidemen, he's honestly really good at filling in all those little gaps in conversation and he's quite quick-witted with his jokes, and I think that might be to do with the fact that he loves Stephen Tries and Beta Squad, British-type humour and he's done really well with emulating that type of humour in a way that fits his vibe

Ah, I love seeing Deji in Sidemen videos! He's such a sweetie, looks and acts like a big teddy bear which I love for him. I feel like he's such boyfriend material, like, he's so cutesy and honestly kinda fine, like, why does nobody else SEE THIS SHIT!!! Would be the best hugger, so funny + positive, absolute listener, so real with you... Ugh, need his energy in my life

ANOTHER VIK + HARRY TEAM DUO! These two together give me LIFE! I feel like Harry just loves tryna bond with Vik because whilst Vik is so so so intellectually smart, Harry is so practically smart and that bright sort of person that balances out Vik so well. Like, Vik studies theory and Harry knows how to do it practically, is their duo's vibes.

Also about Harry + Vik - I am (haven't watched the full vid but currently they're dead last) ROOTING for this team to win. They have chemistry, they have effort, I know damn well Harry's a good cook... Idk, this team j gets me smiling most, I wanna see them succeed

Ethan and Tobi duo is more interesting. Generally I think these team/duo works really well together because Ethan's hilarious and Tobi laughs a lot + they j vibe like that and it's fun to see! This vid though, Ethan's more stresso about the cooking aspect bc obvi he wants to win and he's come across (so far) as a little whiney and complaining... Tbh, Ethan's whining does get on my nerves a touch, but in the end I end up sympathising + feeling worse for Ethan bc i know SDMN fans CANNOT empathise w Ethan's stress or shouting or however he reacts and then they bully him? Like, Sidemen fans see one thing they don't like and they just will not shut up about it. We saw this about the colleague's thing, how ppl started hating on Ethan- calling him insensitive and ungrateful for calling the boys "colleagues", as if the fans weren't practically agreeing with him prior when they made their comments of "Sidemen feels overproduced, we prefer the old videos where it's just banter between the boys", like, Hello??????? Dunno if this point made sense but summary: Ethan's complaining mildly pisses me off but I actually feel bad for him instead of annoyed, because I know fans will have a go at him for complaining + take things wayyyyy too serious.

And oh deary dear, JJ and Deji?? I love love love these boys on their own but in a weird way why are they so jarring on a team together? I feel like Ethan and Deji would've worked rly well, maybe Tobi and JJ on a team instead? JJ always acts so unhappy to be with his brother and it kinda reminded me of 2017-2020 beef between Dej and JJ. Like, JJ was just being mean and telling Deji to fuck off, that he's useless... But they're both at the same competency level?? Like, sure, Deji isn't really competence, but JJ is no better (even though apparently his omlettes are delicious). I feel as though JJ always takes place as Sidemen's greatest wally/idiot asw, and having Deji there means that JJ cannot be the biggest oblivious-one there, but he doesn't know how to fit in other than that... And so he takes on the character or the persona of a bully/just being mean to Deji, but (at least in my opinion) it feels really jarring and sort of uncomfortable to watch. I don't think this is a very popular opinion that I have either- maybe I'm just deeping it, or maybe I'm just projecting my own experience onto others.

Slightly more lighthearted note asw, I thought Kimberly (Special masterchef guest!) looked a lot like Faith which was quite funny lol. Like the American version of Faith :D

Right, very long, very waffle-y...

What are your thoughts? Agree, disagree, think I've read any situations entirely wrong? Tell me your thoughts in the comments or post a letter through the inbox n ill reply sooner or later :)

Thanks for asking, Buzzy, hope you're having a good one! <33

#youtube #sidemen #youtuber #harry lewis #ksi #zerkaa #miniminter #vikkstar123 #vik barn #vikram barn #tobi brown #tobjizzle #josh zerkaa #simon #simon minter #josh bradley #jj olatunji #wroetoshaw #w2s #behzinga #ethan payne #deji #deji olatunji #comedyshortsgamer #kimberly wyatt #masterchef #WAFFLE!!

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Trimax Thoughts Vol. 5 Pt. 1

Here's my stream of consciousness thoughts for the volume again. Sorry I'm late! Can't wait to suffer more!

Nooooo my poor boy... ugh this is fucking visceral...

Ooo... he was looking for Count Vasquez... that's interesting. That's the man he's suspected in the murder of way back on his wanted poster.

Hey so. This is so much fucking worse. He knew these people. He liked these people. They liked him and they didn't want him to leave so soon. Agony.

Always someone to be helped, huh? Always a reason to get back on his feet again... go get Meryl back!

Midvalley and Hoppered just killed Zazie??? Hello???

Actually Midvalley is really powerful... I love when characters have sound based powers yesssss. I also like these two as a duo they're kind of funny to me. Hoppered doesn't care if he dies and Midvalley wants to get out so bad. Hoppered warns people they're about to be killed and Midvalley just wants to murder people with his saxophone in peace. Somehow they spend a fair amount of their dialogue being honest and concerned about the other and handshake over having the same no good terrible boss hjfghbn

Hoppered... :( (Also fuck these people man. Hoppered is just trying to look out for this girl because it seems like no one else will without looking down on them or trying to take advantage of them... *snapcube sonic fandub voice* "you ableist piece of shit"... I actually want to know what the relation is here. Guy just kind of assumed they're together or something but maybe it's more that they are the only ones like the other... I kind of vibe with it being a shared trauma or shared experience thing they've got going... obsessed too, with the fact that we haven't actually seen his face at all... he warns people to get away but then quietly watches them die... does it bother him? does he justify it somehow? ...anyways Hoppered my fave GHG for real I love him.)

(Also he's cute actually. He's so earnest compared to the rest of the GHG. Look at him <3)

So yeah, confirmation that Wolfwood currently cannot see, his head is likely ringing and who knows what other internal damage he's taken and he is still fighting. He is so cool but also :(

Oh HECK YEAH MILLY!!!

^Midvalley and Wolfwood rival ballet dancer au when

*Midvalley voice* I know what you are

Oh! We can see Hoppered now! He... has a cross on his face...? Um. I am even more curious about him now...

*chuckles* Oh we are in danger.

Yo Knives WTF. Also I feel so fucking bad for Hoppered oh my god he's seeing and feeling all of this.

We actually see the people getting sucked in??? Aughhhh

OH NO MERYL SAW IT ALL TOO??? NOOOOO OH MY GOD

Did Legato just make Hoppered kill Midvalley??? Oh god and that was Hoppered screaming once he realized it too... And then he RUNS HIM OVER??? LEGATO WTF.

Zazie's back!!!

So this is complicated lemme see if I got it right: Vash is stopping Legato from running over Hoppered. Legato is using all his power to hold Vash. Because he is doing this, he can't spare enough power to stop Hoppered from pointing a gun at him. Wolfwood is pointing his guns at Legato and Zazie. Zazie is pointing their guns at Wolfwood and Hoppered. And Midvalley... is fucking dead I guess. ...where's Meryl...?

OH QUEEN SHIT HELLO??? And she shot Legato in the face lmao. Who's gonna break the standoff? It's Meryl with a steel chair derringer!!!

You know. I think there's something to be said about Vash activating the angel arm in response to Hoppered about to be shot... I can't brain right now but it says a lot about how he only ever tries to help but all this destruction comes along with him.

"If I could save a single life... if I could do just a little... would that... be good enough?" <- Vash from Trigun and Atsushi from Bungou Stray Dogs shaking hands because they are literally same hat

Ok so airship woman's "I hate suicidal people" -> I thought she was talking about Vash at first but it seems she's talking about Legato. Interesting. Also I think Legato is seriously having a sanity slippage here.

The difference between Vash sprouting feathers like an angel in reality, but seeing himself as this twisted eldritch freak in his own mind... all the contorted pieces of the people who died in some kind of living horror show on his own body as he apologizes over and over... :(

Because they were kind... that is what it comes down to after all...

Elendira has the character intro ever. All mysterious on the phone with Knives, big damn villains moment where she stops the angel arm going off, nails the weird creature person thing helping Legato with absolutely zero effort on her part, then immediately falls from the airship on her ass and says "owie". She is then revealed to be trans and the most powerful secret GHG on the very next page. She impales Legato and takes him with her like one would a runaway puppy and delivers an ominous final warning which she ends off with "ciao!". What a character. 10/10 I'm obsessed with her already.

Hoppered... :( I find his last words interesting. He refers to himself as the bad guy but then also still feels such resentment for Vash that he still wants him to suffer, yet in such a resigned tone... Then Vash reaches out to take his hand with the hand that becomes his angel arm, having since gotten it under control, safe enough to provide a bit of final respite now instead of cause more harm...

MUCH NEEDED CATHARSIS! MILLY AND MERYL HUGS!

Vash hosting funerals for Midvalley and Hoppered... :')

^Another great example of Vash taking responsibility for things and that going beyond just a simple "no one dies" mentality and carrying that on beyond just action and fights - but also I love that he dragged Wolfwood into it and apparently did not explain anything to him. And Wolfwood apparently just started shoveling without understanding why he was being told to do so. ??????? These two were born to be a comedy duo.

Anyways. I'm sad. :)

#trigun #trigunbookclub #trimax #storyrambles #didn't put ids for this post since it's just stream of consciousness thoughts but I will for future analyses don't worry

[bottomlessabyssposts]

hello fellow former mlb victim fan

I’m so curious now on what your thoughts on the show are. Like, just in general and also how the romance was handled. If you wanna share 👀

LISTEN. Way too many things and I will end up making this post too long but... I have some pent up frustration so let's just go by seasons (+ some other stuff) THIS IS VERY LONG SO HAVE A NICE READ

S1 : I think s1 was fine overall, though I was absolutely creeped out by Mari's behavior like ??? She's very likable and honestly I enjoy her character most of the time but it's just. Why would you make this 14 years old obsessive ?? As a middle aged man ?? AS A GAG ???? anyways. I think s1 was the only season where I don't have many things to say because 1) it wasn't that bad 2) i don't remember much

S2 : The beginning of my doom, CN is dumbed down more and more by the writers in favor of LB and this is so weird. Adrien isn't dumb, what he is oblivious and unaware of social norms. He spent his life homeschooled. (ALSO may I ask why is his life presented as going down hill when his mom disappeared when he's always been hidden from the world ?? Why is his mom shown as good when he couldn't even go to school and didn't have any friends except Chloé ??? How is she a good mother ??? How did his father change exactly ?? Did he just become colder or ??)

I think the swap kwami episode was in s2 and this is one of my LEAST favorite episodes ; CN's job is perceived as easy compared to LB but i'm sorry can Mari sacrifice herself so easily without any guarantee to come back ?? The heavy burden of the power of destruction and the knowledge that she could KILL someone doesn't bother her ??? This episode just served the purpose to show how LB is just. Much more important than CN and I am SICK of it.

Also uh can we talk real quick about Master Fu ? Dude thought "training" (that apparently happened off screen which is just bad writing) a CHILD to become the next guardian was a good idea ? Mari is a kid with dreams and passions and chaining her down to this duty is just outright cruel. In later seasons we don't even see her make anything ? She is supposed to want to become a fashion designer and now she's stuck stressing over kwamis and a way too complicated task where if she messes up, the world as they know it ends.

ALSO. Just my opinion but. The guardian shouldn't have been Mari. Or Adrien. It should've been a third party, completely unrelated, so no power imbalance would be created between CN and LB. I'm sorry but this is such a huge thing about the show, that has been hammered into our heads, that "destruction and creation must be balanced" and they do that ?? (plus it led to the season i hate the most, s4) The show had the opportunity to introduce another character, or make use of an already introduced one (i.e Luka) and make them a guardian ! Or something ??

s3 was fine, I liked Chat Blanc for the most part (Mari's tresspassing, her sniffing Adrien's pillow... ugh.) and thought it was very very heartbreaking to see Adrien like that, my poor boy cannot catch a break. Also Chloé redemption !! She deserved it, with her abusive mother and all, too bad they decided to burn everything by making her a caricature of herself and introducing the most bland replacement for her ! (A half sister whose existence made NO SENSE ? I thought Chloé's mom didn't like kids ? Plus why would she bother taking her other kid to Paris, and risking her reputation with cheating rumors ???)

Now... Now let's talk about s4... So much happened in this god forsaken season and i'm so, so, so tired and shed so many tears of RAGE. Chat Noir became a sidekick, plain and simple. Not even "just" a sidekick the protagonist would respect, like Robin, but a simple fill-in, a "partner like any other" as LB so amicably put it in Kuro Neko. I feel like the writers wanted to write conflict and all but... it's so badly written and only served to make people hate CN.

Chat's trust was abused so many times (Ephemeral, when he and LB were supposed to show the other their identity but what he didn't know was that Viperion was to know too, instead of just... explaining the situation ?), he was kept in the dark many, many times, not only by LadyBug, but also by his Father (interesting parallels) and Fu, all which, somehow, have a position of power over him. He felt replaced, which is entirely valid, because as much as he didn't communicate this, he offered LB his help so many times, and tried to open up, and all these have been either ignored or rejected. (now I'll talk about Mari's side after, but just know that i absolutely do not blame her for being stressed ! I am just critizing her actions which hurt her supposed best friend and partner very deeply) Not to mention Scarabella, whom he never knew the existence of, and could've killed. Chat probably doesn't care much that someone knows her identity, but she never told him, or even considered telling him to find someone to tell, too. I'm sorry but LB has been so strict on these rules but now she doesn't follow them, yet expects Chat to. (also, i'm mad they stripped Chloé of her miraculous because apparently "Hawkmoth knows who she is". Well, Hawkmoth knows who Ryuko is too, as well as Rena, or Viperion. Yet they still have theirs ?)

Chat has no support !! no circle to support him whereas Mari has Alya, even the Kwamis, her parents, and her friends ! Adrien's parents are off the list, Nathalie is way too close to his Father, the Gorille isn't much help, and it's not like he's actually close to anyone if not Nino (their only memorable interaction is in Rocketear in s4). Then, he loses his miraculous and is actually blamed for getting hurt by LB's behavior and reacting harshly (he should yes apologize however) LB has provided NO apologies, instead making Chat feel guilty ?? I remember this episode SO well because I was HOPING for a sweet Ladynoir scene, but NOOOOOOOO. Also this showed how shallow Mari's love for Adrien was -- she's basically in love with his mask, not very different from Kagami "Stop acting like a clown" Tsurugi

I think, however, that showing why Adrigami and Lukanette wouldn't work is a great idea ! Was it greatly handled ? Not really, but it could've been great ! I love Kagami and Luka and I wish for them to be in good hands (mine)

One last thing about Chat, then we'll talk about Mari's side ; I HATE HATE HATE how they ignore his struggles or act as if they do not exist. The creator himself calls Adrien "perfect" and act as if Adrien is totally fine, when the situations the boy is in SHOW how distressing his situation is. Adrien is CANONICALLY shown to : accept death and die, more than once, try to cataclysm himself, eat very little, have weak boundaries and doesn't know how to say 'no', isn't really aware of others' boundaries as well, shut down as soon as his father raises his voice, been hit by his Father (both in normal and Hawkmoth form), still hasn't been able to properly grieve his mother. ALL of this, and none of it has been explored, because the focus is not on him if Mari isn't there. The writers HATE abused kids and I'm not afraid to say it, because s5 spoilers showed how they're (Adrien, Chloé and Kagami) treated and considered by the writers.

Now, onto Mari ! You're heard everything I complained about, now let's hear something else ; I loved seeing her under the pressure and how it affected her, though I find it cruel, it was interesting to see since she learned a lot about herself and other people. Too bad the writers refuse to make characters change, huh. Also, nice that she tries to move on from Adrien ! Still not over the statue thing, but it's refreshing to see her move on, if only for like, three episodes. I wish we could've seen genuinely learn how to treat her partner better, how to not take him for granted. Maybe her resenting Master Fu for putting such a heavy burden on her shoulders ? She's the class president, a full time middle schooler, guardian and super hero, and that's it. She cannot indulge in her hobbies anymore and that sucks, because she deserves to be a kid. The writers obviously want her to be the most important character by pushing every single thing and events on her, even when her presence is not even necessary.

Since Mari is pushed to be the centre of everything, where she shouldn't even be, it means she gets both privilege by the writers, and also pain. It was nice though to have a character I could empathize with and also critisize, though the writers want to make her as lovely as possible.

As for the romance between Mari and Adrien... I stopped wanting them to be together in s4, because truth be told, they're incompatible, and the Universe obviously doesn't like them together either lol. It was so weirdly put in s5, and I stopped watching the show since then, so I don't know much, except for big, big spoilers which make me want to barge in the writers' room and strangle them one by one.

The ship is no longer something I enjoy, for many reasons, and I think they should've ended up with someone else (Adrien realizing he's gay and Marinette kissing Kagami on the lips for example)

Okay and for s5 just know that I hate it.

-> Marinette, of all people, learning who Hawkmoth is and then CHOOSING not to tell Adrien, as well as offering Gabriel to die as a hero, is just horrible. The conscious choice of taking away his agency, ONCE AGAIN, hiding secrets from him, hiding from him the fact that his father, his abuser, is HAWKMOTH is horrible. I wanted the confrontation between him and his father, but NOTHING. Mari got the spotlight and Adrien is nothing more than a bird in a cage I hate the writers.

-> Chloé got disowned by her (incompetent) dad and forced to leave with her Mother. What a way to get rid of the bully ! Giving her to her abusive mother ! Who doesn't know her name, doesn't care about ! As if Chloé didn't cry "why don't you love me, mom ?" ! God.

-> the senti reveal. I hate the senti theory i hate that it's real. They can't fight back, otherwise they can just be erased of existence, and even taking back the amok is useless because what if it breaks ? what if you lost it ? someone steals it ? I hate it so, so, so much, and making abused kids sentihumans is the worst thing ever.

#this is very long #nico asks #not gonna tag it from the source because i don't want them to perceive me but #here are my thoughts #my many many many thoughts

[jmagnabo92]

CBS Ghosts - Hello! - Confronting Sam - Part 2

The ghosts try to talk to Sam, but Jay convinces her that they aren’t real.

Spoilers may happen.

Discussion and Gifs Below:

LMAO - they’re assuring her that they’re real, meanwhile the other half of the ghosts are like -

Let’s Smile (Pete)

I need answers (Isaac)

You want me (Trevor) 

Ugh, why am I stuck with these people (Sass)

Wow, boys.  Wow.

Also WTF with Trevor’s Backstreet Boys move that he’s doing and Alberta’s like dance and wiggle?  What are you two doing??? 

Here’s Jay, trying to be logical.  

Oh, Jay, if only you knew!  Your life’s about to be turned upside down.  

Poor Sam.

Okay - ghosts.  You’re assuring her that you’re NOT hullucinations - which really wouldn’t matter because even if you WERE you’d say the same thing so...

Also, what are they doing?

Isaac’s got some tada thing with his hands, Pete’s doing something to (what are you doing Pete?), and Trevor’s spreading his arms like he does when he bows - what up with that?

Aw, Sam is trying to be logical.  Poor Sam.  

LOOK AT THEIR FACES.

Isaac’s like what no.

Alberta shaking her head.  

Trevor’s weird face - I can’t even describe it.

And PETE?  WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  Where are you looking?  Why are you looking away?  Who are you looking at?  I need to know.

Jay’s smart here.  Logically, it makes far more sense that her concussion is affecting her negatively, and his advice is good.  It’s just so sad that it’s not true.

Aw.  They’re like “noooo”.

Alberta and Hetty are offended.  

Flower looks confused and hurt.

Thor looks like “Meh”.  He probably doesn’t care.

LMAO - Jay’s like “Go rest while I make a bunch of noise” - seriously, Jay, that’s your advice?  

Okay, this is so funny.  JAY WHAT WERE YOU THINKING - The Internet knows all?  It doesn’t.  This is destined for trouble.  

Also, the looks on their faces.  Again, they’re just like “What is this?”

This is so funny.

They don’t know what the internet is - so Trevor tells us a little bit about himself “Stock Prices and Porn.”  OH BRO, Ohhhhh bro.  

I like how he touches Isaac, who’s like “Why are you touching me?”

And Pete and Alberta are like “Really, Trev??”

Meanwhile, Sass is like “interesting?”

OMG I love it.

LMAO - They’ve been there for like a day and Jay has brought out a painting of Elias??? Poor Hetty.  

I do find it interesting that he put up a painting of an ancestor without even knowing this ancestor.  And then goes on to be like “I’m not moneybags like him”.

Do you think that he wants to be “moneybags” and that’s why he did it?

Like putting up a picture to aspire to be?

POOR Hetty.  This is the first time that we learn about Elias’ cheating. 

Also, it’s interesting that Pete has a look of confusion almost?

Isaac looks straight up concerned - it’s clear that he’s aware that Elias is quite the trigger for her.

Trevor is also like - ‘what is this?’

Meanwhile Sass makes it forward to make things worse... drama king at his best.

OMG SASS is that helpful at all???

He’s like “Elias was a cheater - I remember WATCHING”

Trevor starts off looking like “Oooh cool” because he clearly hasn’t heard ANYTHING about Elias.

Pete’s smiling back there - why?

Isaac’s got this like eyebrow raise and a slight like “omg”

Poor Hetty’s face.  She’s clearly distressed and the boys are not helping.  

Jay’s being or trying to be a good husband here.  Poor Sam, this wasn’t how it was meant to be.  She was so excited until she gets this ‘gift’.

Thor’s curse - I didn’t realize they laid the groundwork here.

Also, Alberta’s like ‘dude, why’?

Flower’s like ‘why do I like this man?’

Trevor, Bro, what are you doing?  Why are you trying to do - whatever you’re doing?  Are you trying to get closer, a better look, what?

Sam’s just like I need to get far away from this nutty thing.

Jay’s like ‘I’m just going to go make a whole’.

OMG These poor ghosts.  

Trevor’s turned away - for some reason, why are you turned away????

Also, like with Sass in Episode 1, you can see them noticing and trying to warn Trevor.  

Isaac and Hetty have their hands up thing, Pete’s warning him.  THOR RUNS to the other side of the hall - WHY?  And Flower goes up against the wall.  POOR ALBERTA.  She goes to the door as well and ends up walked through.  

I do have some questions about Isaac putting his hands up like he does - is it like to protect his eyes from something?  Does walking through a ghost cause residue?  Would putting his hands up protect him from getting walked through himself? (Probably not).  So WHY does he do this?  

Also, Thor’s RUN - mentioned earlier is hilarious.  

That’s 5 ghosts that have been walked through so far.  Interesting.

What’s even more interesting is that Trevor and Alberta seem to shake it off faster than Sass and Isaac.  (Thor’s was in a ‘dream’ like thing, so doesn’t really count).  

Given that Sass (500 years) and saac (250 years) have been ghosts for SO LONG - do we think getting walked through is WORSE for them due to Age?

It would make sense given Trevor (22 Years) and Alberta (95 years) easy shaking of it off.  Could age of death contribute?  It would be rather curious if it did.

ANYWAY - Poor Sam.  

Feel free to chat about it. :)

#CBS Ghosts #Ghosts CBS #trevor lefkowitz #hetty woodstone #isaac higgintoot #Sasappis #Hello!

[kiwichaeng]

hello!! i hope you’re doing okay, and i hope your busyness isn’t too bad. as always, no pressure to answer this ask, but i am here as the hs tarlos fairy (i think i gave that a catchier name before) about to sprinkle a load of rambling into your inbox.

firstly, we have a single line from november which ive started editing. i’m finding it difficult to get lines that aren’t too spoilery but i mean..

In his defense, he really needed to spend an hour or so, longer, cuddling his boyfriend.

look, tk always needs to cuddle carlos. that’s a fact.

beyond november, i’m about to start writing february and have i raved about it yet because i’m super excited for it!? not to be annoying with these teases, but it’s a big month for parallels (so in term, sappiness). also, i should be posting the next chapter with carlos’ birthday tomorrow, and im excited for you to read that!!

one last thing: i said this before but ive been thinking again about their long-term future and i have a vague idea for the first 6ish months post-high school and UGH i could tell you everything 😭 (/pos). i love acting like these fictional boys exist it’s great.

wow this is super long. thank you for your time, sending you lots of love and positive vibes!! 💫

The notification for this was the first thing I saw when I woke up today and it was a really nice way to wake up! I read over this in the car but now I can actually like answer it lmao. I love the hs tarlos fairy title, it's very fitting 🩷

TK is soo correct! The cuddles are not a want but a NEED! Let this boy cuddle his boyfriend! They both deserve all the cuddles ever 🥺😭! I love them so much???? It's actually crazy how invested I am in this. All the cuddles for those two!!

OH MY GOD PARALLELS??? Listen I am feral for stuff like this! I am absolutely gonna go CRAZY when I read the parallels! (Although if I'm counting correctly then Feb will fall right in the middle of my finals 😞). I love love love stuff like this!!! Maybe I just love connecting random dots and crying over them. Delighted to hear you're thinking about their future! They deserve all the goodness and oh my god they're spending the rest of their life together dhjfhdjdhksjfhf 😭😭. Also gonna be honest I too think about them as real and existing sometimes to get through a day 😔

Since you sent this while I was asleep, I'm guessing the chapter comes out tonight for me which is AMAZING! Cannot wait! Hopefully, I'll be able to finish with everything by midnight so I can settle in and read 🩷. Thank you for this, I loved everything 🩷🩷

#asks #millie! ✨

[alj4890]

Hello there, I love your writings specially the way you write liam's character and so I had an ask, whenever I listen to Champange Problems by Taylor Swift, I imagine Riley denying Liam's proposal for marriage. It just gives me that royal feeling you know, I would like to request you to write a short excerpt on this scenario. For her personal reasons, Riley, turning Liam's proposal down. I hope it isn't too much to ask for. Thankyou.

I can see why that song made you think of them. It is filled with TRR angst! 😂 I love it when songs make us not only think of our favorite Choices stories and characters but also help in inspiring fan fics for them. I have started a list of songs that I have saved over the years that remind me of certain pairings/storylines. This one is definitely going under The Royal Romance section 😉

I'm making this first person from Riley's point of view for this particular prompt and having it like she is talking directly to us. Thanks so much again @megha-graphy ❤ hope you enjoy it. This is the perfect prompt to get me back into the swing of writing again now that everything is getting back to normal.

@gkittylove99 @krsnlove @kingliam2019 @texaskitten30 @yourmajesty09 @mom2000aggie @ofpixelsandscribbles @twinkleallnight @lodberg  @amandablink @neotericthemis  @mm2305 @sfb123 @tessa-liam. @moodmusicmonday @choicesficwriterscreations

Rating PG for a word or two.

Song inspiration: Champagne Problems

Masterlist

Champagne Problems

Why??? What was she thinking? How could she do that to Liam?

I'm sure those are the questions revolving in everyone's mind who know what happened. They certainly have been the very ones that I have asked myself every single night since this began, along with a few others.

Why did they have to come into my bar that night? What was it about Liam's actions that prompted Maxwell to ask me of all people to come to Cordonia? How did it get to this point? Why didn't I see it sooner?

Why did I let this happen?

Am I the villain in my own story? I guess in a way I am. I can try to blame others like Constantine. Maybe even Madeleine. But no one made me say it. No one made me cause that expression of pain in Liam's face.

I did this.

Perhaps I could, yes I think I should. Let me start at the beginning. Then maybe you will at least see why I did what I did.

Maybe I will finally understand it myself. I really don't know how it ended like it did.

It's just...*sigh* I...

Forget it. Let's start from the night I met the men who had a hand in changing my life forever.

A year ago...

There are few things that can leave me speechless and on this particular night, I was struck nearly dumb from one such man. I don't think I've ever seen a man more handsome than this one. No wonder he was the one the bachelor party was for.

What girl wouldn't snatch him up as fast as she could? Those blue eyes of his alone are enough to cause heartfelt sighs. Add on his charm, that body of his, that hint of bashfulness. Ugh. No wonder I stayed out all night with him.

Who could refuse him anything when he asked for nothing?

So...lack of sleep, nearly swooning over this real life Prince Charming, and the fact that this seemed like a once in a lifetime opportunity (I mean, is it really once in a lifetime? I doubt this happens even in a thousand years!) I said, yes, to Maxwell's offer.

Not only is it a free trip to Europe, it's a chance for romance and adventure. Who wouldn't agree to something like this?! Right? Surely I'm not the only person who wouldn't even pause to think about it.

If only I had taken a moment to think it through.

To be honest, I didn't really know what I was getting myself into. I didn't think that the end game to all this was a marriage proposal. I mean, I knew that was what was supposed to happen. I guess...I guess I simply refused to acknowledge that it would be me Liam would propose to. Maybe I thought it would all work out.

I mean, if it's meant to be then it will happen, right? All the feelings will be there. The moment will be perfect. There won't be any doubts.

Won't it be like that?

*Sigh*

It should have. I can't believe I did that to...let's get back to the story.

That first night in Cordonia was pure magic. The palace's ballroom was something straight out of all my fairytale fantasies! The people were gorgeous in their costumes. Liam looked like he had stepped out of the movies! That silver mask highlighted those mesmerizing blue eyes of his. Our game of tag after the ball was so freaking cute.

I can still remember how he looked at me as if I was the one who had stepped out of a dream. He was absolutely adorable. I had to kiss him. With the costumes, the setting, the way he touched my cheek...how could I not sink fully into this romantic atmosphere?

Then his worry that he would hurt me in the end. Liam hurt me? *Bitter laugh* If only that had been the case.

If only my heart was the one broken.

After that night, things kinda turned into a competition. It was always one, but I guess I focused on that aspect of it instead of really looking at what the prize was.

I should have. I should have realized that I wasn't taking part in some stupid game. I was playing with people's emotions. I was going to affect a country! I was going to hurt so many.

So many.

Liam.

Drake.

Maxwell.

Hana.

Olivia.

Tariq.

Madeleine.

Bertrand.

Maybe even Regina.

I can't believe I ended up the villain.

*clears throat*

Anyway, while fighting to win top spot in all those ridiculous contests, I got to know Liam, Drake, Maxwell, and Hana. They were all so, I guess lost is the word I'm looking for. It's like none of them have ever had a normal life. I was their chance to experience freedom. Sorta. I mean, can one really be free in this type of environment?

Liam and I would sometimes sneak off alone. I never could resist kissing him in these moments. The way he held me in his arms. *sigh*. He made it so easy to fall in love.

Then Drake and I started to do the same. Just the two of us. I started to see why this commoner was so disillusioned with the life he was living. His troubles touched something in my heart.

I should have just walked away. Told him I was there for Liam only. But no. I was so sure I could handle all this. All these unexpected feelings.

Why did I let him kiss me after the mess with Tariq? Why did I chase him down at the Beaumont's to tell him I had feelings for both him and Liam? That right there should have been a huge red flag!

I'm such an idiot.

And Hana! She'd never had a friend before. She'd never had someone say how great she was. She didn't know how to handle her feelings.

Why didn't I see they went further than mere friendship?

So, as you know from all the news articles that came out, I was caught nearly naked in the arms of Tariq. Liam chose Madeleine the night of his Coronation. And I was hauled off to the airport. I guess I was banished.

Things would have been made right if I had just gotten on that damn plane.

But no. I was talked into returning by the Beaumont Brothers. I was then given the chance to be Liam's love in secret. He made it sound exciting and romantic.

Am I a masochist? Why would I go back for months of insults? Months of trying to win back a prince turned king? Why would I then develop feelings for yet another one of my friends?

How screwed up am I?

Poor Maxwell. Forced to have me as his doll to dress up for every event. I shouldn't have sneaked into his tent that night in Paris. He might have then continued to think of me as nothing more than a friend.

But I needed him and his never ending optimism and support. Nothing was harder than trying to prove I belonged with this group of nobles. I was so tired of my messed up reputation.

Maybe I deserved the scandal. Didn't I walk the fine line of a scandalous woman with men other than Tariq?

Yeah. I think, yeah, I did.

Did I still want Liam? Was I only doing this as a way to prove that not only could I get him but that I could restore my name? My reputation? Rub it in their faces that I, a simple American waitress, was worthy to be queen?

Queen. How did I remain blind to the fact that I was nowhere near capable enough to be queen of a nation? I don't know the first thing about Cordonia's government. I hardly make sense when discussing America's! I slept through my classes in school that taught all that.

And yet, I dared to think I was the right person for Liam. For Cordonia.

No one deserves someone like me, I'm a phony. A mere villain in too expensive designer dresses.

*head drops in hands*

You know what happened next. I kept all these people around me, making them think I was the best. Making them fall even harder for me. I even had Olivia, someone who was in love with Liam, believing I was what he deserved!

*tears begin to fall.*

What you don't know is that Liam told his father to make it right because he...he....

That last night in New York.

I know you know about Liam ending his engagement to Madeleine. I'm sure you know why he did it. You saw Tariq taking the blame for everything that happened, making me innocent once more in the eyes of the world. What you don't know is that Constantine orchestrated it all.

He knew I wasn't good enough for Liam. He knew I was the last person on earth who should be given power over people's lives.

*sobs*

Loved me. Would have chosen me from the very beginning.

And that last night in New York with Lady Liberty as our only witness, he proposed.

To me.

And I...

I...

Said.

*deep breath*

No.

Why, you might ask. Why would I refuse a man, one of the best men I know? Why would I deliberately break his heart? Why didn't I tell him sooner that I didn't feel the same for him? Why did I let him propose?

I don't know. I kept thinking when it happens I'll know who I love. I really thought I loved him. I mean, I do. Who wouldn't love Liam? But to return a love like his, one of such complete adoration. Devotion. A love with one's entire heart laid before you.

I didn't have that. I had feelings for him. Drake. Maxwell. Feelings I shouldn't have if I was meant to marry and spend my life with him.

And I mean, come on. Do I look like queen material? At any point in my story did I look like I deserved any of what I was given, much less the chance to rule a nation?

Nope. Not one bit.

I was selfish. I was self-absorbed. I only thought of the fun parts. The competition. Me winning. Me taking Liam from Madeleine. Me showing everyone I was better than what I actually was.

Me. Me. Me.

I really am the villain of my own story.

*wipes tears*

So, you're probably wondering what happened next. I ended up saying goodbye to everyone. I couldn't be with any of them, not after the realization that my heart was too stupid to choose between them.

Liam, too good for this world Liam, offered me a chance to have a home in Cordonia as a freaking duchess! Who does that? Can you even begin to imagine the type of love this man must have after I refused to marry him??? I can't. I know I don't have that within me. I wouldn't give my ex anything much less a home and better life.

I at least had the decency to say no to that too.

Liam left. They all did. I didn't stay in New York. I was afraid that I might see them again if they returned for U.N. visits. I erased all their numbers then changed mine before I left town.

No need to remind them of sadness. Broken hearts.

How awful I ended up treating them.

I moved to Reno. I waitress at one of the smaller casinos. There's no chance a king and nobles will come here. They'd go to Las Vegas before thinking of coming to Reno. I have a pretty decent apartment. I've made a couple of friends. Even been out on some dates. Nothing too serious, which is good.

I still keep up with Cordonian news. Liam recently announced his engagement to a noble from a nearby country. The way they look in photographs let's me know it is a love match. They each have the biggest smiles on their faces when they look at one another.

Hana has even been seen on the arm of a handsome noble that I remember meeting once or twice. She too seems to have given him her heart.

Maxwell is now a writer. His latest book is being turned into a movie. I was a little scared when I heard he was back in America, but he is spending his time in Hollywood. He's got a ton of actresses and models wanting his attention.

I don't know anything about how Drake is. I usually see him in the background of photos. Hopefully he's happy. Hopefully he found someone else to give his heart to.

Madeleine has been spending most of her time in the U.K., at her father's duchy. I guess she's okay.

Olivia is another one I don't hear much about. I hope Liam's new engagement doesn't hurt her more than the other did.

Tariq was granted a pardon of sorts from Liam. Maybe he can go home soon and live the life he once had.

Bertrand ended up marrying Drake's sister. They seem to be doing well if the few pictures and articles I've read are anything to go by.

Regina has moved on now that Constantine is dead. She is probably helping plan Liam's wedding to his new love.

They've all gone on without me. My part in their lives was brief and I pray that it didn't do any lasting damage. I never wanted to hurt them. Never planned it.

But I never stopped it from happening either.

*sigh*

I guess that's it. I think I did the right thing by walking away from everyone and everything that came from my brief time in Cordonia.

Didn't I?

#choices trr #the royal romance #choices fic writers creations #mood music monday #song prompt #prompt request #trr liam #trr drake #trr maxwell #trr hana #trr madeleine #trr olivia #choices the royal romance #choices the stories you play

[cbsghostsmetasandtrevor]

CBS Ghosts - Hello! - Confront Sam Part 2

Warning - Spoilers may appear.

LMAO - they’re assuring her that they’re real, meanwhile the other half of the ghosts are like -

Let’s Smile (Pete)

I need answers (Isaac)

You want me (Trevor) 

Ugh, why am I stuck with these people (Sass)

Wow, boys.  Wow.

Also WTF with Trevor’s Backstreet Boys move that he’s doing and Alberta’s like dance and wiggle?  What are you two doing??? 

Here’s Jay, trying to be logical.  

Oh, Jay, if only you knew!  Your life’s about to be turned upside down.  

Poor Sam.

Okay - ghosts.  You’re assuring her that you’re NOT hullucinations - which really wouldn’t matter because even if you WERE you’d say the same thing so...

Also, what are they doing?

Isaac’s got some tada thing with his hands, Pete’s doing something too (what are you doing Pete?), and Trevor’s spreading his arms like he does when he bows - what up with that?

Aw, Sam is trying to be logical.  Poor Sam.  

LOOK AT THEIR FACES.

Isaac’s like what no.

Alberta shaking her head.  

Trevor’s weird face - I can’t even describe it.

And PETE?  WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  Where are you looking?  Why are you looking away?  Who are you looking at?  I need to know.

Jay’s smart here.  Logically, it makes far more sense that her concussion is affecting her negatively, and his advice is good.  It’s just so sad that it’s not true.

Aw.  They’re like “noooo”.

Alberta and Hetty are offended.  

Flower looks confused and hurt.

Thor looks like “Meh”.  He probably doesn’t care.

LMAO - Jay’s like “Go rest while I make a bunch of noise” - seriously, Jay, that’s your advice?  

TBF though, it's a big house so she might be able to - you know, if it weren't for the ghosts.

Okay, this is so funny.  JAY WHAT WERE YOU THINKING - The Internet knows all?  It doesn’t.  This is destined for trouble.  

Also, the looks on their faces.  Again, they’re just like “What is this?”

This is so funny.

They don’t know what the internet is - so Trevor tells us a little bit about himself “Stock Prices and Porn.”  OH BRO, Ohhhhh bro.  

I like how he touches Isaac, who’s like “Why are you touching me?” Trevor's the type to touch a lot and Isaac doesn't, so this is interesting.

And Pete and Alberta are like “Really, Trev??”

Meanwhile, Sass is like “interesting?” He's clearly curious.

OMG I love it.

LMAO - They’ve been there for like a day and Jay has brought out a painting of Elias??? Poor Hetty.  

I do find it interesting that he put up a painting of an ancestor without even knowing this ancestor.  And then goes on to be like “I’m not moneybags like him”.

Do you think that he wants to be “moneybags” and that’s why he did it?

Like putting up a picture to aspire to be? Or like, hoping the painting would bring luck?

POOR Hetty.  This is the first time that we learn about Elias’ cheating. 

Also, it’s interesting that Pete has a look of confusion almost? Has he never heard of Elias?

Isaac looks straight up concerned - it’s clear that he’s aware that Elias is quite the trigger for her and he's worried about this.

Trevor is also like - ‘what is this?’

Meanwhile Sass makes it forward to make things worse... drama king at his best. He just wants Drama!

OMG SASS is that helpful at all???

He’s like “Elias was a cheater - I remember WATCHING”. (Just going to point out the whole - everyone is a voyeur thing, not just Trevor, since Trevor's the one that gets crap for it).

Trevor starts off looking like “Oooh cool” because he clearly hasn’t heard ANYTHING about Elias and then grimaces.

Pete’s smiling back there - why? You just heard this man is a cheater.

Isaac’s got this like eyebrow raise and a slight like “omg”

Poor Hetty’s face.  She’s clearly distressed and the boys are not helping.  Bad boys!

We pull away from this without really... resolving it as we refocus on the livings.

Jay’s being or trying to be a good husband here.  Poor Sam, this wasn’t how it was meant to be.  She was so excited until she gets this ‘gift’.

Thor’s curse - I didn’t realize they laid the groundwork here. It's also interesting that Thor's Curse was said BEFORE getting Sam down the stairs, yet, and he believes it's already in position.

Also, Alberta’s like ‘dude, why’?

Flower’s like ‘why do I like this man?’

Trevor, Bro, what are you doing?  Why are you trying to do - whatever you’re doing?  Are you trying to get closer, a better look, what?

Sam’s just like I need to get far away from this nutty thing.

Jay’s like ‘I’m just going to go make a hole’.

OMG These poor ghosts.  

Trevor’s turned away - for some reason, why are you turned away????

Also, like with Sass in Episode 1, you can see them noticing and trying to warn Trevor.  

Isaac and Hetty have their hands up thing, Pete’s warning him.  THOR RUNS to the other side of the hall - WHY?  And Flower goes up against the wall.  POOR ALBERTA.  She goes to the door as well and ends up walked through.  

I do have some questions about Isaac putting his hands up like he does - is it like to protect his eyes from something?  Does walking through a ghost cause residue?  Would putting his hands up protect him from getting walked through himself? (Probably not).  So WHY does he do this?  

Also, Thor’s RUN - mentioned earlier is hilarious.  

That’s 5 ghosts that have been walked through so far.  Interesting.

Thor

Sass

Isaac

Trevor

Alberta

What's interesting was that it WAS going in order of Age - UNTIL TREVOR. Hetty doesn't get walked through - in fact, Trevor is basically a stand in for Hetty, because Alberta would be the next to get walked through (by age). It's very interesting.

What’s even more interesting is that Trevor and Alberta seem to shake it off faster than Sass and Isaac.  (Thor’s was in a ‘dream’ like thing, so doesn’t really count).  

Given that Sass (500 years) and Isaac (250 years) have been ghosts for SO LONG - do we think getting walked through is WORSE for them due to Age? Do we think Isaac's was worse due to his power? (I think I mentioned that before).

It would make sense given Trevor (22 Years) and Alberta (95 years) easy shaking of it off.  Could age of death contribute?  It would be rather curious if it did.

ANYWAY - Poor Sam.  

Feel free to chat about it. :)

#cbs ghosts #ghosts cbs #Hello! #trevor lefkowitz #jay arondekar #sam arondekar #hetty woodstone #isaac higgintoot #alberta haynes #pete martino #Flower #Thor #sasappis

[backslashdelta]

Hi tumblr user backslash delta. What fob song would you assign to each of your fav glee ships

Hi tumblr user twinskeletxns. What an excellent question!

Relatedly, you might be interested in the time I assigned each album to a Glee character, or I picked a FOB album and assigned every Glee character to one of its songs, or my thoughts on Puck as a FOB fan.

I feel like I should do this without using the songs I've already giffed lol, that feels like cheating. But since it's on topic, I do definitely see Kurtbastian as Fourth of July and Klaine as Disloyal Order.

But let's suppose I can't use those, just for funsies. I'm gonna do 4 ships but if you have questions about a specific ship not included lmk! I also didn't have any of these in mind ahead of time, so I figured this all out just now flipping through FOB's discography. I reserve the right to change my opinions at any time lmao

Kurtbastian: Of All The Gin Joints In All The World

This is from Sebastian's perspective. And I'm obsessed. Sebastian talking about how Kurt doesn't know the real him, and if he did then he wouldn't want him. They ARE making out (maybe not inside crashed cars, but whatever)!! He never really cared about another person, he just wanted to live his life, but now there's KURT and that's all he dreams about now. Sebastian is definitely bad at talking about his feelings but he can definitely show Kurt how he feels about him ayyyy. He will NEVER be the same, not after Kurt. And Kurt is kind of untouchable - not in a literal sense obviously, but he's so strong, all of the things about Sebastian and his life that he thinks might deter Kurt, though don't, they can't touch him.

Actually, on further thought, I think FUTCT might be a Kurtbastian album... going to resist the urge to make a gifset series because I don't have time but it may happen eventually

Kelliott: The Last Of The Real Ones

You know I feel like this is very much a "everyone is fake but you're not, you're real, I was kind of alone in this big world and then I found you, other people might see you and think they need you but they don't really get you, not like me" vibe and that feels very them? Like they're both really unique and special and they see through people's bullshit. They are real ones. Even the "you were too good to be true, gold plated" I feel like is Kurt seeing Elliott for the first time and being like "ugh no this guy cannot be for real" but like he IS. And then Kurt SEES that finally and is like oh shit what was I thinking.

Klaine: Miss Missing You

This is very specifically season 6 breakup Klaine. "Sometimes before it gets better the darkness gets bigger, the person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger" HELLO????? Kurt breaks Blaine's heart and Blaine is CRUSHED and they go through HELL but they had to go through those dark times to come back together and be better!!! Literally it's just them. It's them!!!

Klaine (but happy this time): Heaven's Gate

Literally this song is just talking about how much they love each other and they would give everything to each other and they will keep coming back to each other always, anything other than being together would just feel like a substitute, like a placeholder for each others' love. Anyway. Yeah.

Pizes: Favorite Record

This is very Puck just wanting Lauren, you know? "You were the song stuck in my head, every song that I've ever loved, play it again and again and again and again" which I feel like is very him just going after her and her being the only one for him even when she was making it difficult for him, you know? "And I spin for you like your favorite records used to" honestly she kinda has him whipped lmao but like not in a bad way! He'd just do anything for her. "And when you ask me, 'How I'm doing?' Like you know how much better off I am," like she knows he is a better version of himself with her, you know? And he knows. They both know. He can't remember how to forget how he feels when he's with her.

#glee #kurtbastian #kelliott #klaine #pizes #kurt hummel #sebastian smythe #elliott gilbert #blaine anderson #noah puckerman #lauren zizes #music #fall out boy #mine #ask #tthankstoyou #twinskeletxns #great new url btw I don't think I said that yet! #damn I really want to make most of these gifsets now askldjfah #and a kb futct series maybeeeee #or just like one gifset featuring all the songs idk #there's not enough scENES OF SEBASTIAN FOR THAT THOUGH UGH #fuck me why does glee hate my specifically ugh #meta #my meta #like... vaguely lol so we're calling it that I guess #thanks so much for this ask!!! I love it very much <3

[goosimp]

the bread is back!

Another anon :0! Oh queenie come on, not everyone is toast xD there's only one~

Omg does that mean now I got a roomie >.> hellos there's no furniture here as this is my new home and I'm still shifting in but make yourself comfortable <w<

Bdksjwjs my fic gonna give meaning to your life?? Too much pressure--

My own self restraint stops me from writing smut u.u

no part 2?? Ok I'll be patient

Ok I have my fic drafts thatll go in the next ask, lemme ramble about Manager Kim goo first.

I...

sits down

Pretty..pretty boy.

Hehe honestly I'd also bite goo's built, branded or not, just the fact that he wore it around his waist and had it in his arms--

Local soldier obsessed with fake blonde twink, twink lures soldier with hug just to yeet him out of the window. Makes old man want autograph.

Bruh the moment I saw that hug I was like, WHY AIN'T THAT ME

Please goo, throw me around,,,, not even in a kinky way just pick me up with some excuse dammit-

Also also...GOO THOUGHTS

That had me screaming you know?? WE GET TO HEAR GOO'S THOUGHTS??WE GET TO HEAR GOO'S THOUGHTS!! DAMMIT I ALWAYS WANTED TO HEAR GOO'S THOUGHTS!!!!!

Baaah tell me your thoughts more hubby, wanna hear how annoyed he is, or how he views the world,just the way how his mind percieves reality UGH I LOVE IT I WANT MORE

He's so damn hot

I love him sobs

~🍞

oh my uncooked bread, I have been craving for some burned toast for a while now.

I didn't really think there would be someone else, the poissibility that there would be someone else in my inbox anonymously didn't really occur on my mind my brain is dead set that any anonymous message would just be toast for sm reason

have fun with your roommate, although idk if they would even return back ^.^

Life fucking sucks. I hate the fact that I have to interact with human beings to be considered normal and it's draining out my social battery. So yes, yes fics give me life. I need to recharge the fuck up or I will strangle/kick someone to death.

You don't need self restraint. I need self restraint. My hands been twitching alot to beat the shit out of someone, so i have been sleeping alot more lately, 14-16 hrs a day.

manager kim goo😍😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰

the panel where goo pulled his belt out did something to me and the window has never looked so jumpable before. I was GAGGED. PTJ HAD ME GAGGED. The shivers and giggle I let out-

sorry but i am a parasite and i am not leaving him for my dear life. nah ah. nop.

i would probably 100% die if i was there but that's a small price to pay if i get to be on the position. ehehehe🥰 EHEHEHEHEHEHEH👹👹👹-

what kind of question- OFC OFCCCCC YOU SHOULD!!!! DON'T LET THAT OLD AGE RUIN YOUR FANBOY MOMENT OLD MAN!!!!!

SO??? SO WHAT??? IT'S FUCKING KIM JOONGOO INFRONT OF YOU👹👹👹👹👹!!!!! WHY THE FUCK DID HIS BRAIN CELLS GET REDUCED ALONG WITH HIS HAIRLINE? IOUGKVBWSIGUSVIGLS

but damn that bald spot be shiny af tho

we need more Goo thonks!!! MOREEE!!!!!! I WANT TO HEAR/READ EVERY SINGLE THING HE THINKS OF!!!! PLEASE TALK MORE!!

ahjussi a real one tho. Who doesn't want Goo to be on their side????

Goo is so damn adorable, it makes me tear up. The way I would like to unhinge my jaw and swallow him as a whole piece is unreal.

#~🍞 toast #lookism #kim joongoo #I feel a little less violent now that I am talking abt goo

[chihirolovebot]

Hiiiii so I'm the writer of The Final Piece and I am simply here to rant and rave about Sleep Awake because it's??? occupying so much of my mind it's not even funny??? I literally binged the whole thing in like 2 or 3 days and the chokehold your writing has me in is insanity. This is gonna be long I seriously hope that's okay but there's SO MUCH I wanna say! I have talked so much about all of Sleep Awake to my roommate and sister and friends that they all have practically read it second hand through me just talking about it and how much I love it. You are such a talented writer, and I'm sure you already know that, but I feel the need to tell you anyway.

Moving on!

I absolutely adore the MC you've created, their development has been SO satisfying to read, their journey into learning that it's okay to live for yourself instead of for other people just makes me sob and punch the air. It's such a relatable struggle and I love that you incorporated it into their character, it gives them a level of depth where you physically can't NOT root for them after everything they've been through.

I'm also a HUGE fan of platonic relationships (I'm asexual I can't help it I love reading about friends sm) and when I got into your fic I felt like the skies parted when the first chapter note mentioned you were also gonna focus on the platonic relationships because I WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH THEM TOO NOT JUST DATE THEM. The locker trio already had my heart but as the fic went on I slowly started to really like the MC and Maki's friendship as it developed and now other than Kiibo's and Shuichi's friendship with them she is probably my fav. I'll save all that for another time though.

Also also also the whole third trial??? Literally couldn't have asked for anything better. Seriously that was the best change to canon, from start to finish I loved every second reading it.

Every character you write feels so canon I feel like I can hear their voices in my head, it's wonderful. And don't even get me STARTED on Kokichi's characterization and his relationship with the MC. It's become so ingrained in my head that I forget that he doesn't have them in canon lmao. The almost cat and mouse game between them has me gripping the sides of my head. I went back to reread the game of Karma chapter like 15 times because it's one of my favorite scenes of theirs. They have such fun back and forth banter, and even while they are arguing I'm just sitting there reading and saying 'THEY'RE IN LOVE YOUR HONOR'.

Kokichi's struggle to trust the MC until recent chapters is being so perfectly well done, because it's EXACTLY how he would act too. Also his complete denial of having feelings for them in favor of his mission to stop the killing game??? Ugh. I could go on forever about how much I love this fic and how it's completely changed the trajectory of my life lmao, but I think I've rambled long enough. I'm sorry if this was just a lot of word vomit to read, but I have been wanting to reach out and have been so shy about it because all of this is kinda new to me. I legit have never even used Tumblr until recently, so I'm still trying to figure it all out.

Anyway! I'm always looking forward to updates from you, but please take care of yourself in the meantime <3 Thank you for writing something so wonderful, it's really something special

HI MY LOVELY im sorry this has been sitting for a minute i needed to be in a space to be able to actually write out a long thoughtful reply. so here we are!!!

first of all HI HELLO!!! i had no idea you had read sleep awake what!!! im very sorry if you've commented before because i may have forgotten because it does get a lot of comments but. honestly i just wanted to leave a nice review of ur work and then i found out you've read sleep awake!!!! insane. i cannot believe u have TALKED ABT SLEEP AWAKE in real life hello???? malfunctions. thank u so very much that is literally the highest of compliments.

im. very emotional and happy u like my mc. they r my baby considering they r basically Me but also i feel like the stuff they struggle with is general enough to be relatable to a lot of people. and i am very glad their journey resonated with you at least a little.

the platonic relationships!!! grabs u by the shoulders and shakes u like a rattle toy. OH MY GOD. yeah. yeah u get it. i jsut simply think romantic relationships r not inherently more important than friendships, and with sleep awake specifically i do not think that mc could heal and go on the journey they need to go on if they were only close with kokichi. like for sure he's a big help and big part of it, but an mc without kiibo, kaede, kirumi, shuichi, tenko, kaito and maki would literally not exist as they are now. TO BE A COMPLETE PERSON u must learn from the people around u that u love and maybe even the ones u hate. i think that is so special and so important, not just in fiction but in larger life. like. people who focus solely on romantic relationships in long fics u bamboozle me. it keys into this idea of 'oh if ur broken u just need one specific special person to fix u' and like. no. maybe u learn to put urself back together with constant help from the people around u, from ur family and ur friends and ur role models. not just the person u wanna kiss. that is just me tho.

im rly happy u mentioned mc and maki actually!!! i find that most people rly like mc's friendships with kiibo and shuichi and kirumi, which is understandable because mc doesn't get a ton of time with maki but. i really like what i've done with the two of them?? idk that feels big headed to say but writing their relationship develop has been super fun and it's one of those things i didn't rly plan? it just sorta happened and now mc has maybe too many friends but yk what. we move. maybe the real sleep awake was the friends we made along the way.

hhhghgbfhh kokichi and mc's relationship makes me so mentally ill. in a good way. and im really really happy ur invested in it. like my god i have put so much time n thought into these babies and i feel like one aspect of writing their relationship i dont talk abt as much is how patient u have to be. i feel like u would get this too, writing a slowburn urself — u have all these ideas u want to incorporate and ideas of how they get together, their first kiss, their first whatevers but. u gotta lay the groundwork first. and with characters like kokichi and nagito it's gonna be like 90% groundwork because they have walls and complexities a mile high. but im super happy with how it's developing.

this was absolutely. a delight to read please do not ever worry abt being a bother or anything to me. u are sincerely always always welcome to jump into my inbox n rant or talk about whatever i mean it. anytime. i welcome it. i am a bit shitty at answering asks but i rly do try always to get back to long comments like these even if it takes a minute. thank u so much for this and i hope u are having a lovely day <3333

#oh yeah. starts crying. #dear venus. #🏚.sleep awake

[wanderingcas]

Hii!!! Just jumping in here to say that I finally finally caught up with The Common Hours and I was just about to send you this little ask saying how much i like this and so on when i saw that this is the first post on your blog

to the people who comment on every chapter of my wip full months after it started posting: you're the real heroes

and i was like. okay maybe i didn't comment under every chapter but feeling a little like a hero now haha *salutes* also reassured because i saw when it was last updated and i decided to check up on you on tumblr if you're still here because - not gonna lie - i am kind of invested in the story now and was a little worried if you're still writing it or maybe you took a break or something (understandable 100%, real life is real life also time just flies).

what i am trying - and failing - to say is that i really love your story and obviously can't wait for the new chapter but i will wait forever: take your time!!! this fic has this vibe that the last thing it needs is to be rushed. nah. it needs time to breathe, like a good wine! but also. like a good wine, I NEED IT NOW, all of it, i need to know everything, i have so many questions! about castiel's memories, what did he do why did anna say he removed his grace of his own (because this is kind of a game changer in this fic??) and if he did then why, WHY are parts of his grace in seemingly random places that uh oh are NOT random AT ALL but they are connected to his memories with dean???? hello???? i CRAVE answers!!!! why and how was he captured and how and why did dean rescue him??? why did he decide to keep cas in the dark about everything??? why the whole witness protection program????

*breathes deeply and takes a sip of water*

and with that, (because this ask is already way too long lmao) i just wanted to wish you a good day, a lot of strenght and TIME to write and most of all i hope you're doing okay!!! :) thank you for sharing another great fic with the fandom!

okay let me take a moment to just say: AHHHHH!?!?!?!?

this ask has me CLUTCHING MY COMPUTER SCREEN and SCREAMING literally my dreams are coming true for this fic - someone busting into my inbox and leaving a long detailed comment on what they thought and all their burning questions and... UGH. thank you. you absolutely made my night.

SECONDLY yes don't worry i am definitely not taking abandoning the story! (already did that once before 6 years ago lol), it's just definitely taking longer than most things i've written in the past. idk if it's because i've changed as a writer or because i have a 1 year old now or because i'm older and wiser but this fic certainly is taking its time. which is crazy because i have so many scenes in my head. but anyway this is all to say that all is good! all is chugging along! in fact i have a draft written that i'm hopefully going to post soon.

your questions are literally making me cackle with glee like a little goblin, i kid you not. one of the best things i can get from readers are observations/questions/theories that i want you to pick up on - and you're picking up on ALL OF THEM so i'm really happy that the story is going in a direction that you're following. if that makes sense. it's all to say that answers are definitely forthcoming! you're asking the right stuff!! ahh man just thank you so much for taking the time to send this ask. you made this silly little writer very happy:')

#emptydespair #answered ask #AND NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR THE LENGTH OF AN ASK #THIS WAS A JOY AND DELIGHT TO READ #the common hours

[dykefever]

ok where to begin. This is a long one but I hope it's worth it?

1. I'm an embarrassingly huge stan and I've read all your stuff and I can quote some of them off the top of my head and my * husband * is vv familiar with you/your writing because I talk about it so much

2. I read the new Dorlene fic and it hit really hard because

3. I'm in my 30s and very happily married to a straight cis man, AND I just came out as bisexual

4. So I started writing my own "fic" with characters based on me/my husband to explore sexuality and identity, and also because I was an English/Theater major and haven't connected with that part of myself in so long and

5. I wrote my first lil femslash fic to explore my own sapphic desire for really the first time, and it was a really big deal to write and also nerve-wracking, like "am I doing * the gay * wrong?"

6. and literally a day or two after I finished, you posted Seasons in Desire

7. and it was, all of the yes. Right off the bat. The collarbones/shoulders. The staring. The nerves. The intimate friendship at the same time as wanting. But ESPECIALLY the role patriarchy plays in finding your way through desire and love and attraction. I didn't plan to include boys in my fic, but they just wrote themselves in ((ugh classic)) and in fact my characters' get-together arc is all wrapped up in the male gaze and expectation and comp het. And I high-key hated that at first. But I situated the fic in a specific time and place based on my real life, and I wanted to be honest about what lil 16-year-old me was really going through at the time. So seeing that same dynamic reflected in your piece, which is also very personal about your real experiences, was so validating and lovely and kind of empowering-- like, look at how amazing we are that we can find our way to love and desire women * despite * all the obstacles patriarchal society puts up to stop us.

So, yeah. Just, thank you for writing the Sapphic desire fic the fandom needs SO MUCH MORE of. And for inspiring me, personally, to get into writing and embracing my own identity.

xoxo Miss American Bi

hi hi !!!!! miss american bi, sorry this took a min to reply to but i wanted to have enough time to fully respond and i've been going back n reading this also because it has honestly moved me !

first off um hi to your husband!!! that is so sweet you talk about my writing to him and also the fact that you can quote my stuff oh my god!!! genuinely like in awe that you feel that way about my writing

and hello welcome to the community, figuring out your sexuality and such is tricky at the best of times and doing so while in a relationship is even harder!! i have some friends that have had a similar journey and just fuck yes for you! proud n happy for you<3

i've found writing about wlw/sapphics/lesbians to be a hugely validating experience and like this really beautiful exploratory thing to do with my desire and relationships so totally get you with writing out. i hope you continue to do so for yourself and find it continues to help :-) if you ever post anything i would love to read it !!

totally get you with male gaze n patriarchy making it's way into writing. it's unfortunately often a large part of queer women's experience when discovering their attraction to women. it has been for me at least and i wanted this story to be about discovery (dorcas finding herself to be lesbian rather than bi) (that's just straight up from my own experience lmao) and also how, especially in their early twenties, you can often be working through the complicated feelings of having attraction women (and not liking men in their case, although the role of the male gaze in queer women's desire is familiar for all of us!) while actually knowing and accepting this fact and living your life as a queer woman. i think stories can include this element of our experience while still completely centering the women and their relationship, which is what i was trying to do with seasons in desire! like, they are still working through their relationship with queerness but far more importantly, they want each other and love each other and will pursue and explore that <3

highlighting this also: look at how amazing we are that we can find our way to love and desire women * despite * all the obstacles patriarchal society puts up to stop us.

you're so right, it's fucking incredible!!!

completely honoured and floored by this message, that i inspired you to write n that this fic made you feel seen! keep writing n exploring yourself, i am cheering and whooping for you in embracing your bisexuality <3

p.s. re: collarbones and shoulders. always felt so frustrated how attraction to women is depicted generally in media. like queer desire is not rlly about these gendered body parts! it's so much more! wanted to write about that n how i feel regarding desire. just glad that resonated :-)

#i got this ask several days ago and every time i remembered it i was just like. oohh man i needa sit down #much love anon xxxx #answered #seasons in desire #dyke tag