#also hope they keep the winter soldier name

[buckyalpine]

Hello and hope you are doing well!! I was wondering if you could do smut story where the reader get more than she bargained for when telling Bucky that his dark side could do a better job at certain things. Also your stories are amazing ❤️🖤

Bucky gives you what you ask

YESSS. Thank you bb, Im so sorry this took forever and I hope you see this, I loved this so much. And as always I got so lost in it. Good God. He is dirty, dirty here.

You loved the way Bucky loved you. He was so soft, gentle, took care of all your needs without leaving behind a single mark on your delicate skin. Bucky was nothing more than a soft sweet thing, slowly getting back into his boyish 40's charm, a gentleman at all times. If you didn't know about his past, you would've never guessed he'd have another side to him.

But you'd seen the shift in his demeanor whenever he'd train in the gym and even more so when he was out on the field. The way his eyes would narrow with laser like focus when hitting his targets, the way he wouldn't flinch when putting a bullet between their eyes. His face would be expressionless when his metal arm would wrap around their throat, slowly draining life out of them, parts of the Winter Soldier still running deep in his veins.

And how badly you craved to have that side of him take you apart.

"What is it sweets" Bucky watched you fidget with the buckles of his tac suit, helping him undress after he'd just returned after a mission. There was something about him in his all black straps, leather and weapons that made your knees weak. It didn't help that his beard had started to fill out, the ends of his hair starting to curl at the nape of his neck. "You okay?"

You adore how attentive he is even when he's exhausted after weeks away from home but you wished just for once, he'd choke you with his metal arm instead of just hugging you with it.

"I want-" You paused for a second before continuing, "I want more"

"More of what doll" Bucky's wide puppy eyes were filled with worry; he made sure to always pay attention to your needs and he'd do anything to make you happy. "Tell me, you know I'd do anything"

"Just- take more control, be more rough with me" You weren't sure how you wanted to explain yourself but your body knew exactly what it needed, growing hotter by the second the longer he stood there in his tac suit before you. He let out a soft chuckle when he realized what you meant, laying down his knifes off to the side on the dressed.

"I had you moaning my name before I left doll" Bucky playfully rolled his eyes while you huffed, your sexual frustration only growing more when he tossed off his Kevlar leaving him in his tight black tshirt.

"Well the Winter Solider would have me screaming" You shrug, not noticing the way Bucky froze, now staring at you without blinking. "I think that side of you would do a better job at certain things, Buck"

"You don't want to see that side of me sweets" Bucky tried to keep his voice neutral, ignoring the way his cock was already throbbing in his pants, straining painfully against the thick fabric.

"But what if I do?" you challenged back, taking a step back when he moved forward, slowly backing you against the wall of your shared bedroom.

"Doll..." He warned, squeezing his eyes shut trying to collect himself, his fingers twitching at his sides. "That's not a good idea"

"Why not, think the Winter Soldier wouldn't be able to make me feel as good?" You added a taunt to your voice, hoping to rile him up, his chest now nearly pressing against yours, caging you against the wall.

"Is that so" Bucky tested the water slowly, still wanting to give you an out if you needed one because he wasn't going to be able to hold back once he started. You nodded, heart hammering against your chest as he took in a deep breath, his jaw clenched.

"As you wish sweets" He whispered by your ear, the tip of his cool metal knife suddenly pressing against your throat. Your eyes grew wide at the fact that he'd slipped it into his hand so swiftly, you hadn't noticed. "If you want me to stop, say Brooklyn, understand?"

"Yes" You squeaked, while he dragged it till it rested under your chin, tilting your head up to look meet his darkened eyes. Without a word, he sliced down your blouse, ripping away at the material that caught in the middle. He didn't give you a chance to speak, his hands grabbing the edges of your bra, splitting it into two before tearing your leggings into pieces next.

You were complete naked within seconds, suddenly feeling exposed under his gaze, still fully dressed himself. Bucky had seen you naked countless times, in fact you'd change in front of him without a care in the world, always giggling at the cute blush he'd have on his cheeks.

But this wasn't the same.

Not even the slightest.

He tossed you over his shoulder and threw you on the bed letting you bounce off the mattress while he stood at the edge.

"Spread your legs"

It wasn't a request. It was a demand.

Bucky looked like he wanted to devour you. This was the same man that had his head between your legs more times than you could count but he was staring at you like he'd never seen you before. You shrunk back, squeezing your thighs together at the low growl he made, grasping your ankles and splitting them apart till you were completely exposed to him, your wet folds giving away how turned on you were. He fumbled with the button of his pants, unzipping them and pulling them down just enough to free his cock, his palm and fingers swiping up your pussy to gather you slick, slathering it over his erection.

"Such a pretty baby with such a pretty pussy"

You bit back a whine as he started to jerk his cock, circling the tip with his thumb, spreading his own arousal around. He took a step back to admire you, his eyes shamelessly raking up and down till he was satisfied with his fill. He moved to lay on top of you, his nose trailing along the column of your neck, inhaling your soft scent. There was something so feral about him, you stayed frozen in place while his hands found their way to your waist, squeezing the soft flesh.

"I'll show you exactly what you've been missing out on" He nipping your earlobe before crawling off you again to throw off the rest of his clothes. "God, I've wanted this for so long"

There was no prep, no foreplay, no soft kisses and sweet words. Bucky grabbed your hips, manhandling you till your face was pressed against the mattress, his swollen cockhead prodding at your fluttering pussy. He let out a dark chuckle, swiping his cock up and down through your folds, pressing his tip against your clit.

"Bucky, fuck me" You were desperate to feel him inside you, wiggling your hips as best as you could to get him to push it in you but you were instead met with a harsh slap to your ass, the cool metal making your skin sting.

"Impatient little slut" He shook his head, taking both your wrists and twisting them behind your back, He held them in one hand while the other snaked up tp grab your hair, tugging it tight from the roots. "Beg. Beg me to fuck you"

"P-Please Bucky, want it!"

"You want who to fuck you princess, say it, tell me exactly whose cock you want to ruin you"

"Yours soldat, please, want you, please fuck me solda-FUCKK" Bucky slammed his cock into you without warning, setting in a brutal pace that had you gasping for air. His balls smacked you with each thrust, the grip he had on your wrists and hair tightening for better leverage.

"I fuck needed this" His head was thrown back, his thighs meeting the back of yours as he fucked you harder than ever before, the squelching of your pussy making a sticky, dirty mess all over him. "You have no. Fucking. Idea. how fucking hard is it every time I fuck you"

His words were punctuated with harsh thrusts, growling at the way you'd already started to flutter around him as he hit your cervix. Your jaw was slack from surprise and pleasure, pathetic moans and whimpers replacing your words.

"Do you? Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to hold back kotenok? How hard is it for me to not fuck your brains out when I'm deep in such a tight pussy? How badly I want to rail you, YA tak dolgo khotel tebya trakhnut" [I wanted to fuck you so hard for so long]

You'd never hard Bucky speak Russian, not once but his filthy mouth didn't stop as he continued to rail you, foreign curses dripping from his mouth.

"You think I'm such a gentleman don't you, huh? You remember the first time we had sex princess? how I made love to you? How slow it was, how you moaned when I put my cock in you for the first time?"

"Y-yes" Your body was slack against the bed, only held up because Bucky was gripping onto you with a bruising hold.

"I made love to you that night, didn't I. But I like to fuck baby, especially you, I've wanted to fuck this pussy for so long, ruin it all just for me"

You were suddenly flipped over again, whining when you felt empty, only to be filled right back up again seconds later when Bucky laid on his back, pulling you to straddle on top of him. He planted his feet against the mattress, not giving you a chance to move, fucking up into you, the angle of his hips rubbing against that sensitive spot inside you.

"Oh-oh f-fuckk" tears streamed down your face as he tweaked your nipples between his fingers before wrapping his hand around your throat. He muffled your sobs, slipping his thumb between your lips, shoving it down your mouth till you drooled.

"You look so pretty when you cry kotenok, is it too much?" He taunted, squeezing your throat tighter, "Don't think I haven't noticed the way you stare at my arm princess, I always knew you were a needy little slut deep down You wanted this though, hm? Wanted my fat cock to ruin you till you wouldn't be able to walk?"

"I-oh god-fe-els good I-gonna cummm" You could barely formulate sentence, practically squealing when Bucky rolled over once again, this time tossing your legs over his shoulders, his hand snaking down to rub your swollen clit.

"Gonna cum, are you princess? Who do you belong to, say it, who fucks you this good?!"

"Y-You Bu-"

A harsh slap to your cheek made your pussy clench, Bucky's blue eyes dilated to rings, a feral expression his face as he smacked your face once more making you sob out of pleasure again.

"That's not whose fucking right now you is it?! Tell me, say it"

"YOU SOLDAT" You wailed as he continued to thrust into your puffy, overstimulated pussy, getting his teeth, grabbing onto the headboard as it slammed against the wall.

"That's right kotenok, you belong to him now" Bucky let his body weight fall onto you, bringing his knees up and pounding you deep against the bed, his own pace growing sloppy, balls pulling tighter towards his body. "Gonna give you all of his cum sweets, gonna fill this slutty desperate cunt with all of my cum, that's what you want isn't it? To be a little cum dump for the Winter Soldier?"

Bucky's mind went somewhere else, back to the first time he'd seen you, still as the Soldier, back when the team first discovered him. Back when his brain was fried but you had remined seared in his mind. Back when his mission was to finish you but some part deep down inside him wanted something else he didn't understand.

"God, where were you all those nights I had to touch myself alone, when I needed something warm and tight to cum in? huh? Bet you didn't know that huh princess? didn't know that the Soldier lusted after the pretty bunny that tried to take him down?"

Your eyes grew wide at his confession, pleasure desperate to snap within seconds.

"Did you know the winter soldier wanted to fuck you bunny? Did you know he'd jerk off when no one was watching? Had no idea what was going on Bunny, just remember my cock aching so bad, leaking so damn much. Nothing made it better until I touched myself. Didn't even know what I was doing, just fucked my fist while I thought about how pretty you looked in that tac suit, came all over my sheets like a little boy"

"I-fuck-Can-can I cum soldat?" You clung onto him, whimpering at the way you had to desperately hold back from gushing all over the sheets, his words too much, you couldn't take it any more.

"Go a head and cum princess, takoy khoroshiy kotonok" [such a good little kitten] He nipped up your neck, rubbing your clit faster, moaning with you as you started to cum around his cock. His movements didn't stop, fucking you through your high till your body jolted under him, the smell of sex heavy in the room.

"S-S'too much" You hiccupped while Bucky continued to fuck you like a man with no morals.

"Too much? It's too much for you kitten? Don't worry, gonna fill you up so good baby, where, where do you want to soldat to cum?!"

"Inside!" You cried out, locking your ankles around his waist, your slurred sob turned into a guttural moan when he pinched your clit between his fingers.

"Here it comes kotenok, got so much cum for you, it's gonna drip baby, get ready, here it comes, here it fuckin' comes- OH FUUCCKKK" Bucky roared against your neck before stilling, his cock throbbing and twitching, hot seeding feeling you up till it leaked. You were practically floating, too fucked out to realize He'd gently gotten off you and cradled you close.

"Are you okay pretty girl?" Bucky cooed, snapping back into the sweetheart that he was, the switch over leaving you reeling with your eyes still crossed. "My poor baby"

Bucky chuckled at your dazed expression, cuddling you up to his chest, caressing your sweat slicked skin.

"Come back to me princess" He pulled the covers up to warm you up in his arms, resting you carefully against the pillows. "My good girl, you did so good for me angel, m'so proud of you, so good"

You whimpered in response, curling up against him, your body still jolting and pulsing.

"Was it too much angel?" His brows furrowed with concern, cupping your cheek to look at him. He kissed away the now dry tear tracks that stained your face, his thumb swiping over your hot skin.

"Never" You rasped out, your voice raw from screaming, "Was perfect Soldat"

"You're perfect angel" Bucky grinned, stroking your spine while you continued to snuggle into him, his cock already twitching at the thought of another round. "My perfect little kotenok"

#bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes x female reader #james bucky buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky x you #bucky x smut #bucky barns imagine #bucky barnes fan fiction #bucky barnes fan fic #bucky barnes fanmix #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky fan fics #bucky fan fic #bucky fan fiction #bucky fanart #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes dom #dom bucky smut #dom bucky barnes

[notafunkiller]

Bucky's here

Summary (Prompt): “Are you sure a kiss is all you want?”

Pairing: thunderbolts!Bucky Barnes x female reader

Warnings: teasing, pet names, no mention of y/n

Word Count: <1K

Bucky Barnes masterlist

A/N: This story is based on @marvelouslizzie's prompt

Please, do not repost or translate without my permission!

You’re not sure what’s worse: the way John talks about Bucky to you or how close his face is to yours.

“I didn’t ask for your opinion, did I, Walker?”

“You’re with The Winter Soldier.”

You roll your eyes at his tone. You wonder what in your attitude made him think he has the right to speak like this. “Is that supposed to be an insult? At least he didn’t choose to get the super soldier serum out of weak-” You stop talking when he slaps the wall, right next to your head, keeping his hand there, probably trying to intimidate you. You flinch because of the sudden movement, but you don’t let him use this to his advantage. “You are so weak!”

“I was Captain America, you can’t say I am weak.”

“You were, yes. Past tense.” You snort, amused by his confidence, and look at his hand. “Drop it before my Winter Soldier boyfriend comes and breaks it for you.”

“He can’t do that since we got the same powers.”

You let out a laugh that echoes through the whole room. Does he really believe that?

“Is that what you tell yourself? That’s... interesting.”

“Very interesting, and I think we should test that.”

Bucky’s here! You look at the door, satisfied to see him coming toward you while taking off his gloves. What surprises you is the fact that John doesn’t move an inch as he just stares at Bucky. How delusional is this guy? Bucky was right, there’s no hope left for him.

“You can’t do anything to me, Barnes!”

“If you mean my parole, you don’t need to worry about it.” There is something about Bucky’s cynical smile that makes you feel very happy. It actually turns you on. You like his grumpiness, his sassiness, and his style.

“He thinks he’s on your level,” you remark. “Can you just,” you don’t have to finish the sentence as you wave around because you know that would be clear for him, and before John can even anticipate what is happening, he’s a few inches away from you with his hand behind his back, trying to fight Bucky’s hold. “Thank you, baby!”

“Want me to break his fingers?”

You pretend to think for a few seconds. It’d be fun, but also a waste of time, and all you want is to fuck the shit out of Bucky the moment you get home. Or maybe in the car. Or maybe in the bathroom. “Let��s go, I don’t want to be in the same room with him anymore.”

Bucky lets go quickly as he notices the neediness in your voice, but not before whispering something that you can’t quite catch, but John freezes and that is enough for you.

You smile and takes Bucky’s metal hand to you drag him out.

“You okay?” He asks concerned.

“I am perfect. You’re my hero.”

He stays completely still for a second, and you can’t help but gasp when you feel his lips on your jaw. He moves so fast.

“Your hero?”

You smile. “You’re always my hero, baby.”

“And doesn’t your hero deserve a reward?”

You look at him surprised, bringing your hand to his cheek. You wanted to touch his face all day. “Whatever you want. I can give you anything.”

He makes sure to check if there is anyone around before he grabs your ass. “A kiss.”

So innocent...

You smirk and happily get on your tip-toes to make him lean in a little less. He’s not patient at all, and the moment you press your lips on his, he immediately licks your bottom lip in order for you to get the idea and open your mouth.

As soon as he deepens the kiss, you forget where you are. It’s crazy how kissing can be so addicting and overwhelming every time. God, this man knows how to use his tongue! And his hands...

“There we go, sergeant,” you say, trying to catch your breath after breaking the kiss suddenly just to test his reaction.

He opens his eyes confused and squeezes your ass.

“Hmmm. Are you sure a kiss is all you want?”

“I’m gonna make you beg tonight, mark my words, doll!” It’s a warning you’ve been waiting for. You grab his chin, satisfied, and kiss his cheeks before dragging him to the car.

You wonder if you’re even gonna make it home.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #sebastian stan #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #my stories #my fanfics #blurb #tfatws #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fluff

[jpmarvel90]

Saved

Masterlist Nat Masterlist

Relationship: Natasha x Reader

Summary: A girl with no memories but her time as a prisoner at Hydra, is found by the Avengers. Natasha instantly wants to help the girl to recover and enjoy a normal life.

Word Count: 6396

Nat's POV:

Another day, another Hydra base. This one was the home of their super solider programme. It's where the Winter Soldier was created. So, this base was personal. Steve had initially wanted Bucky to stay behind on this one, but he was determined to come and take down the base which had destroyed his life.

Whilst Steve and Bucky worked their way through the building to plant the explosives, Tony and I were exploring to get as much intel as possible. Tony had found their offices and was downloading as many of the files as he could whilst also collecting anything that looked of value.

I meanwhile had stumbled across what I can only describe as a hospital from a horror movie. I can see rooms with hospital beds, but they all had straps on them, medical tools filling trays alongside the beds. I try not to think about what had gone on here. I eventually reach what looks like a prison. There are a number of cells, but they are all empty. Well, I thought they were until I reach one in the farthest corner of the room.

I had to do a double take when I saw a young woman huddled in the corner of her cell. Her eyes were filled with absolute terror. I manage to unlock the door and slowly make my way towards her, but she shrinks back further, trying to get as far away from me as possible but the wall is preventing. "P-please. No. I-I can't take anymore." She begs, tears filling her eyes. My heart breaks for her. Looking at her body, I can see dark bruising and some lacerations. "It's ok. I'm not here to hurt you." I try to reassure her, keeping my distance so she can see that I'm not a threat.

"I'm here to help you. To get you to safety." I try once again, hoping that she can see that I only want to help. "Bombs are planted." Steve confirms through the comms. "I've got everything I can. Nat are you done?" Tony asks, but I ignore it, not wanting to scare the girl more. I felt like I had to help her. I have to save her. "My name is Natasha. What's yours?" She asks me. I activate my comms so the others can hear. That way they'll know I'm safe and that I can't talk.

"I. I don't know. I don't remember." She starts to cry at that and all I want to do is wrap my arms around her and protect her. "That's ok. We can help you with that. Can you come with me, and we can protect you. Make sure you're safe." I ask her, reaching out my hand to her, but keeping my voice as soft as possible. She looks between my hand and my eyes. The pain and fear are swirling through her blue eyes. "I promise we won't hurt you. Me and my friends are the good guys. We just want to help." I say with a smile, hoping to put her at some ease.

She goes to reach out, but she hesitates. "It's ok. You're safe now." I promise her. I can see those words have an effect on her and she reaches out her trembling hand to take mine. I slowly stand up and use my other hand to help her to her feet. She stumbles and I can see how weak she is. When was the last time she had a good meal or saw the sun?

"I've got you. You're ok." I continue to reassure her as we make our way slowly out of the base. As soon as we reach the outside, she holds her hand up to cover her eyes as she squints at the bright light. But I notice that she takes a deep breath too, as if she is savouring this moment. She surely can't have been kept in that cell the whole time, could she?

We get closer to the jet and her body tenses as she sees the three men waiting for us. "It's ok. They are my friends. They won't hurt you." I encourage her to carry on walking. Her grip on my hand tightens, but she trusts me enough to follow me onto the jet. Sensing her fear, all three of the men keep their distance. Even Tony is being considerate. I see her eyes go wide as we board the back of the jet. "Wow." She whispers as her eyes take it all in. "It's pretty cool huh. This is our quinjet. It's going to take us back to our home where we can get you checked out and looked after." I tell her.

She looks exhausted but I can tell that she's too scared to even attempt to sleep. I guide her to a chair and strap her in. I then grab a bottle of water and take it over to her. I had noticed how chapped her lips were, suggesting that she is dehydrated. "Here, drink this. We'll get you some nice food when we get home. I just need to go and talk to my friends. But I'll just be over there. You'll still be able to see me ok." I tell her with a soft smile. Her panicked eyes dart between me and the three men waiting for an explanation. But she nods, slowly bringing the bottle up to her lips. A relieved sigh escaping as she swallows the cool liquid.

I stand up and make my way over to the others. "Who's that?" Tony asks straight away. "I don't know. I found her alone locked in one of the cells in what seemed to be a medical area. She doesn't remember her name and she's clearly been mistreated for a long time." I explain. I can see pain on Bucky's face as he observes the young woman. "Do you recognise her?" I ask but he shakes his head. "No. But I know that they did some pretty horrible things to people in that place. She's probably been through hell and back." He says, pain radiating from his eyes.

"I'll start going through all the files we have to see if I can find anything on her whilst we head back. I'll also get Cho and Bruce ready for the new arrival. She'll need a full medical. Just from observation she's severely malnourished and has had some injuries." Tony offers up, heading to the other end of the jet, knowing that she needed space right now.

I slowly make my way towards her and take the seat next to her. "How are you feeling?" I ask her, but internally scold myself at such a stupid question. "Who are you?" She answers my question with one of her own. "We're the Avengers. We try to stop the bad guys." I explain loosely. "What are you going to do with me?" Her voice is so timid as she talks, her tone laced with fear. "We just want to help you. We'll help you heal and start a new happier life. No more being locked away or fearing for your life." I tell her with a wide smile.

She doesn't speak again, lost in her thoughts. But I can see that she is completely aware of her surroundings. At any noise, her eyes flick to the source, a small flinch appearing. I stay sat next to her as Steve flies us home. I want her to feel some comfort and know that we're not going to hurt her.

After a couple of hours, we start to descend into the compound. Her whole body tenses as we touch down and the door slowly begins to open. Wanda and Yelena are both waiting like they always do when I return from a mission. But they can instantly see to keep their distance at the added presence of our new guest. "The red head is my best friend Wanda, and the blonde is my sister Yelena." I explain to the girl as I help her out of her seat, showing that they are not a threat to her.

She nods slowly, but her gaze is searching every new thing that she sees. She was exhausted when we found her, I can't believe that her body is still functioning now when she's been so alert for the entire flight. Her body is in flight or fight and I can tell it's taking every ounce of her to be aware in case she needs to protect herself.

I guide her to the medbay where Bruce and Cho are waiting. I can feel that Wanda and Yelena are following behind, but the others have left to give us space. Thankfully, they don't follow us into the bay, choosing to observe from outside. "This is Bruce and Dr Cho. They are here to help you. They won't do anything to hurt you. I promise." I reassure her, directing her to the bed in the middle of the room. But her breathing is becoming ragged, and her eyes are frantic, full of fear.

"Hey, look at me. You're ok. You're safe. They won't hurt you." I reiterate, cupping her cheeks so her gaze is focused on me. "I'll be here every step of the way. Ok." I smile and she nods slowly. "Hi, Dr Cho is going to examine you if that's ok. We can get an understanding of your physical condition and how we can help you." Bruce explains, his soft voice seeming to calm the girl slightly.

Bruce leaves the room, pulling the curtain to give us privacy as Dr Cho begins her examination. I have to fight off a gasp when the girl's shirt is removed, and I see that her torso is covered in scars and new wounds. "Did they do this to you?" I ask her, an anger bubbling inside of me. Her gaze drops to her hands as she nods. I look at Cho who's got a look of sorrow on her face.

She carries out the rest of her examination and we both help her into a clean pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. I take the girls hand and give it a squeeze. "You're doing great. You're being very brave." I comfort her and I swear I see her lips turn up ever so slightly. I look through the window and see Cho and Bruce talking before they both re-enter. "Ok. We just need to do some blood tests and then we'll clean up your wounds." Bruce explains, turning to get a needle.

But as soon as the girl gets a glimpse of it in his hands, she starts to panic. "N-no. No. You said you wouldn't hurt me." She cries, looking between me and the needle in Bruce's hand. "He's not going to hurt you. He just needs to take some bloody to make sure you're not sick." I try to explain in an attempt to calm her down, but she continues to shake her head. "No. No more needles." She states at whisper. I look to Bruce who is unsure how to proceed. But we're interrupted by Tony entering.

"Wait." He says and we all turn towards him. Bruce places the needle back down on the tray and I feel the girls body relax. "I found your file." Her says looking directly to the trembling girl with a warm smile. "Your name is Y/n. Do you remember that?" He asks softly. She thinks for a moment but shakes her head. "That's ok. At least we know what to call you now. Are you ok if I share what I have here?" He asks her and she slowly nods.

"Y/n here is 22. She was taken by Hydra when she was 12." He explains to us, and I let out a small gasp. She's been in that hell hole for 10 years?! "She was a subject in their medical testing. Though it doesn't go into too much detail as to why. It just states that they were successful in removing all memory of her past." I feel such a sadness for Y/n. For her only memories to be of that base, being tested on daily. "They tested serums." Y/n's voice breaks the temporary silence, making us all look to her.

"Go on." Tony encourages. I've never seen him like this. He's so paternal towards her. It's warming to see. "There was a group of us. They tested the serums they wanted to use on their super soldiers. The serums I was given were meant to induce self-healing." She continues to explain, her gaze firmly fixed on her feet. There's a shocked silence to hear that. She was there purely as a test subject, presumably only there until they had succeeded, or she died.

"That's how you got these injuries? They were testing to see if it worked?" I ask when it finally dawns on me why she has so many injuries. We all watch as her head slowly moves in a nod. "After each test they would burn, cut and bruise me to see if it would generate any healing." She explains. I feel like I could cry. She was tortured for ten years. It's a miracle that she is even here with us today. Her body must have taken a hell of beating.

There is complete silence in the room as we take in what she just told us. We've seen horrible things in our time, but never seen one person go through so much for so long. Tony clears his throat and takes a careful step forward. "Y/n. I can promise you that we will never hurt you. We just want to help you, but we need to make sure you are healthy. If they injected you with a serum, the only way for us to ensure you're ok is to take some blood. I know you have had enough of needles, but once this is done, we'll take you to your new room." She speaks calmly and clearly which works.

"Ok." She agrees quietly. "I can stay with you if you like?" I offer. I want to be here for her. I want to help her heal, to protect her and never let her go through anything like this again in her life. "Please." Another whispered reply. I take her hand once again and give it a squeeze. "Keep your focus on me. Ignore what Bruce is doing. When we're done here, I can show you your new room and you can have a shower if you'd like?" I offer, trying to distract her. It only partial works as her eyes scrunch up as Bruce puts the needling into her arm. "You're doing great. Y/n." I tell her, squeezing her hand to offer her some comfort.

Once Bruce is all done, he cleans up Y/n's wounds and clears her to go to her room. She'll have to come back daily to get her dressings changed and her injuries checked and cleaned, but otherwise she was free. Something that obviously was alien to Y/n. "Come. Let me show you to your room." I tell her, standing up and waiting for her to follow. She does so slowly, her body clearly starting to shut down without her consent.

Thankfully, it's not far to her room. "Here it is." I say, opening the door for her. "My room is next door and Wanda's is across the hall." I point to the doors so she can see. I then step inside the room but she doesn't follow. "You can enter Y/n. You are free to come and go as you please. This is your home, not a prison." I explain to her, realising that she probably has no memory of her own room. Assuming she ever had one in her childhood. "There are some clothes in the wardrobe and draws, but we can go shopping to get you something you like in the coming days." I explain, opening the doors and draws to show her.

"This is your own bathroom. There is shower gel, hair wash, a toothbrush and toothpaste." I point out and then show her how to work the shower. I'll leave you to get cleaned up. But I can come back to get you for some dinner later this evening if you'd like. Though you are free to leave the room before hand if you want to." I say, trying to make it clear that she doesn't have to wait for command here. "Thank you, Natasha." She gives me the faintest of smiles and I find myself getting a little lost. She really is beautiful. "Please, call me Nat. All my friends do." I tell her and her smile grows slightly.

After leaving Y/n, Wanda and Yelena are quick to question me on the new addition to the compound. I struggle a little to hold back the emotion when telling them how I found her and what she's gone through. What has she done to me? I normally have complete control of my emotions, but when it comes to her, my feelings are so much stronger.

They both promise to support Y/n as much as they can without overwhelming her. Wanda is probably best placed to help her. She's been through something similar, although not to the same extent. I hope that in a few days when Y/n has settled more, that she might be comfortable to talk to her.

I speak with Tony, and we agree that it is probably best that we don't throw her in the deep end with a team dinner. Instead, we keep it to just four of us. Tony and I, who's she's familiar with, and Yelena and Wanda, who we want her to feel comfortable with. As she is so malnourished, Bruce has given us some indication on the foods and portions she should have over the coming weeks until she's able to regain her body weight. Wanda takes this as her mission to cook her the tastiest of meals with the limited ingredients.

Y/n is very quiet during dinner. Only talking if directly asked a question and only moving or doing anything if she is given approval. It's going to take time for her to realise that she doesn't need to have permission to do anything here. That she isn't confined to her room until someone tells her she can leave, or that she can't eat until she is given permission. But I know that I want to be there for her through every step of the way. Supporting her as best I can.

__________ 

Y/n has been here for a little of three weeks now. She's starting to look a bit healthier. Her wounds are healing nicely, she's putting weight on and she's getting colour back to her face. She loves spending time outside, basking in the sunshine. I guess if you've not seen it for 10 years, you don't want to miss out. She's slowly becoming more comfortable with the team. Everyone is great with her, not pushing her and understanding her boundaries.

She's probably closest with Tony, Wanda, and myself at the moment. But she's getting better with Yelena and Bucky. She still won't do much of her own accord. We make sure that she's not cooped up in her room or missing meals because she's waiting for someone to say it's ok for her to do so.

One night, I'm not able to sleep. My mind is lost in thought of Y/n. She fills most of my thoughts each day. We're getting glimpses of her true personality and I love it. She has a quick wit, though I can tell she is hesitant to use it. Scared of any repercussion. But it's becoming more apparent as the days go by. She's also extremely kind. She's so thoughtful of others. She's making such an effort to learn about everyone on the team.

Wanda and Yelena tease me. It's very clear that I like her. I tried to hide it after the first week, but it's no use. Wanda can literally read my mind and Yelena knows me better than anyone. Besides, I don't want to hide those feelings. Not from them anyway. I think it's far too early to even broach that topic with Y/n. At the moment, I want to be the best friend to her that I can be. We have time.

Whilst my mind is replaying Y/n's laugh on loop, I hear a muffled cry. I focus on the sound and notice it's coming from Y/n's room. I jump up and make my way next door. I knock on her door but get no response. "Y/n, it's Nat. Are you ok?" I question. Again, I don't get a response, but I can hear muttering and crying. Worry taking over, I open the door to be greeted by an empty room. The bed perfectly made.

I rush through the room to check the bathroom, but as I pass the bed, I hear her voice. My head turns and I see Y/n lying on the floor with a thin blanket draped over her. She's having a nightmare. I kneel down next to her and carefully place my hands on her shoulders. "Y/n. It's Nat. You're ok. You're just having a nightmare. Come back to me." I say as calmly as possible. Which is hard when I'm seeing her in such a panicked state. Not a split second later, her body shoots up and she starts to gasp for air, her eyes flicking around the room, trying to find something to ground her.

"Hey, Y/n. Look at me. Focus on me." I tell her, cupping her face so her eyes land on me. "You're safe." I remind her. "Try and take a deep breath with me." I instruct her, doing exaggerated breathing myself to guide her. It takes a while, but eventually she's able to copy and her breathing become less ragged. I slowly run my thumb over her cheek to help calm her as her eyes flick over her room once again. "The bed too soft?" I question and she nods, looking at her hands in shame.

I place my finger under her chin and raise it. "Don't be ashamed. I was the same after I got out of the red room. Took me a few months to get used to sleeping in a bed. I always felt like it was suffocating me." I share. She's listening to me intently as I speak. "I feel the same. I'm used to the hard floor." She mumbles. "How about this. Why don't we lie together in the bed. You don't have to sleep. We can just talk." I suggest. This helped me when Clint would sit and talk with me.

She nods and I help her to her feet. I then move to the bed and pull the duvet off. I grab the blanket and lie on the bed and tap the space next to me. I know the quilt will be too much to start of with, but she needs to keep warm. She takes the spot next to me and I hesitantly place my arm around her shoulders. I smile to myself when I feel her relax into my hold. I lay the blanket over us both and we spend the rest of the night just talking. It was probably the most I've heard her talk. She would ask questions about how I adapted after the red room, and I would offer tips on what might also help her.

After that night, our relationship only grew. She still slept on the floor at night, but I would always go to bed with her, and we'd lie in the bed until she was feeling like she was drifting off. I would leave and she would get comfortable on the floor. As time went by, she started to sleep a little. I was so proud of the progress she was making. "It's ok Nat. You can go to your own room tonight. I need to start doing things myself and it's not fair to keep you from your own room." She tells me which makes me frown. "But I like this time with you Y/n." I admit easily.

She smiles widely at that. "I do too Natasha, but you're not always going to be here. I need to get used to doing this on my own." She makes sense but I still pout at her. "Doesn't mean we can't still cuddle." She says shyly. "One more night?" I request and she sighs. "Ok." She chuckles, opening her door for me.

I'm loving the person that Y/n is becoming. Or returning to be, I guess. She's finding herself and it's a journey I'm proud to be a part of. Her and Wanda have grown close. They have a sisterly relationship. Wanda has helped her come to terms with what happened to her whilst she washeld captive by Hydra. They have a shared experience and I'm glad she's got someone that she can share that with.

She's grown more confident, and I was so proud of her when she started doing things of her own accord. We were sat watching TV and I noticed Y/n's gaze kept going towards the kitchen. I paused the movie and look to Y/n. "Everything ok?" I question and she quickly nods, returning her gaze to the TV. "You can tell me." I assure her and she huffs. "I uh. I want a snack." She admits as if she's just admitted to a felony.

"The kitchen is there, and Tony did the shopping this morning so there is plenty on offer." I encourage her, trying to motivate her, not giving her the go ahead to do it. This was the first time she shared a want, and I was keen for her to take it without needing permission.

I watch as she hesitates, Wanda and Yelena's gaze also on her. Slowly, she pushes up off the sofa and makes her way into the kitchen. She's in there for about 10 minutes before she comes out with a small KitKat bar in her hand. I was so proud as I watch her eat the chocolate bar. When she was done, I wrapped my arm around her and held her close. "You never have to ask to get food." I remind her and she slowly nods before resting her head on my shoulder.

__________ 

It's been three months since Y/n joined us and it has genuinely been the best three months. She's a completely different person to the one that arrived with us. She's still shy, but she understands her freedom and she is finding her footing. She spends a lot of time with Tony in his lab. Turns out she's got a technical brain and loves working on his gadgets. The whole team have fallen in love with her. She's like our own personal ray of sunshine. Which, considering how she was when she arrived, is a miracle.

I think it is safe to say that I am in love with her. I want to spend all my time with her. She's the last thing I think of before I go to sleep and the first thing in the morning. I'm infected by Y/n, and I love it. I just don't know how to approach her about it. I don't want to scare her away. But I'm like 90% sure she likes me too. We've had a couple of moments where we've almost kissed, but it's never resulted in anything, and I never want to pressurise her to do anything.

Our little bubble is burst though when I'm sent on a week long mission. I've been away for day missions, but nothing longer. I've always been home by the evening, having a snuggle with Y/n before bed. I'm going to miss being with her and I can tell that there is an anxiety for her too. But maybe this will be good. It'll give me time to think clearly about how I'm going to approach this whole situation.

Y/n's POV:

The first couple of days of Nat not being here were hell. I realised that she was my security blanket. I knew I was safe if she was around. Don't get me wrong, I know none of the others would hurt me, but with Nat, I feel completely safe and protected.

It's been a bit of a whirlwind three months. I never knew that life could be like this. All I knew was the darkness of the place I was held. The pain and fear that I lived in constantly. I don't know why I kept fighting to stay alive. The easier option was to let go. But I didn't. Now I think it's because deep down, I knew I hadn't met Nat yet and she was meant to change my life.

She has been so patient with me, helping me acclimatise to being 'normal'. She's always there to support me, allowing me to find my way in my own time. In the odd moments that I'm not with her, I crave to be with her. It's a feeling I'm not familiar with. I don't have it with anyone else here. Yet I like all of them. They have become a family, something I didn't know about. Or at least didn't remember. But with Nat it's different. It's like everything I do is for her.

Seeing her smile and laugh is my favourite thing. To most people she has this tough exterior, but I've never seen that directed at me. I've never felt anything but kindness from her. She's a big softy towards me. Though I've learnt not to say that to her. Sam made a joke about it and he was swiftly on his ass. Much to everyone else's amusement.

After Nat had been away for a couple of days, I decided that I couldn't mope around without her. She wouldn't want that. Instead, I spent time with Wanda and Yelena. They both had become like sisters to me. Both protective, but also quick to make fun of me in a light-hearted way. I love the relationship that I have with them, and it's them that keep me sane for the rest of the week.

It's Friday and we've been notified that Nat and Steve are returning from their mission. I jump off the sofa and run towards the Quinjet landing pad. But as I get closer, I see Bruce and Cho waiting. "What's wrong?" I ask Tony who's just joined us. "Nat's hurt." Is all he says. I feel like someone has just kicked me in my stomach, making all the air leave my lungs.

I just stand there as I watch the jet land and Nat be rushed off the jet on a gurney. As she passes me, I rush to keep up, not wanting to be far from her. She looks in a bad way. There is so much blood. Too much blood. I watch as Bruce and Cho rush around trying to fix her. I can see from the machines that her heart rate is becoming thready.

I step forward and hold her hand, feeling her cold skin which sends a wave of panic through me. "Please don't leave me." I beg her as tears start to fall. "Y/n, we need you to stand back." Bruce asks quietly, but I don't want to let her go. I can't lose her. He asks again and I know I need to let him do his job. My mind is focusing on her being with me, alive and healthy. She has to survive. I go to drop her hand but there is a soft glow which makes Bruce and Cho stop in their tracks. "Y/n what's going on?" Tony asks me with a panicked voice. "I-I don't know." I respond, fear washing over me.

"Oh my God look." Tony points out towards Nat. I turn to see what he's pointing too, but I start to feel lightheaded. My sight starts to blur and all the sound around me becomes muffled and the next thing I know, I'm surrounded by darkness.

_________

"Please wake up." I hear a distant, pleading voice. But I still only see darkness. "You told me not to leave. I'm asking you the same thing." The voice begs. Is that Nat? Is she ok? Confusion washes over me as I try to figure out what's going on. Sounds become more prominent, and I can hear the slow beeping of a machine. "Y/n?" The comforting voice calls. "Her heart rate is changing." I hear a male voice now speak. "Is that a good thing?" Nat questions. Why can't I see anything? "Yes, very good. It's getting stronger." The other voice confirms.

I start to feel a pain in my head, and I squint my eyes to stop the pain. "She moved." Nat points out. Slowly, my eyes start to open, but the bright light only aggravates the pain in my head. "The lights. Dim them." A third voice says. As the glare of the light reduces, I open my eyes further and they land on Nat. I quickly sit up, shocked that she's beside me, conscious. "Whoa! Stay down Y/n." She tells me, gently pushing on my shoulders. "You're alive." I whisper and she nods. "I am. But you need to take it easy." She tells me in a warning voice.

I look around me and see that there are wires attached to a drip and a heart monitor. I then meet the concerned gazes of Tony, Wanda, and Yelena. "What happened? Last I remember you were the one in the medbay." I say, trying to sit up. "You healed me." Nat says with a look of disbelief on her own face. "Excuse me? I what?" I question, not sure that I heard her properly. "You healed me. But it drained you and you passed out. You've been unconscious for two days, your heart barely beating." She explains.

"How are you feeling?" Bruce asks, stepping forward. "My head hurts, but other than that ok." I admit and he nods. "It seems like one of the serums they injected you with enabled you to heal others. They were so focused on self-healing, that they didn't even think to check for that." Tony says. "I healed you?" I turn back to Nat asking for clarification. "Yeah. Not even a scar left on me." She says holding up her shirt to show where two bullet wounds once were. I reach out and run my fingers over her abs in disbelief.

"I thought I lost you." I agonised, remembering the fear I felt that she was slipping away. "I can't live without you." I admit through tears. "And you don't have to. I'm here. Safe and sound because of you Y/n. You saved me." Nat says taking my hand. I hadn't noticed that everyone else had left and it was just the two of us now. "I owed you after you saved my life." I tell her through a watery chuckle. "I would save you ten times over Y/n. You have changed my life. When I woke up and I saw you on the bed next to me barely clinging to life yourself, my heart broke." She expresses, her own eyes glossing over.

"Y/n, you mean so much to me. You have changed my life since you came into it. I can't hide my feelings from you anymore. I love you. I'm in love with you. I know you might not feel the same, but I have to tell you. I can't bare the thought of something happening to one of us and you not knowing the depth of my feelings." I'm in shock as I listen to her speak.

Is this what I've been feeling for her too? Love? I can see pain start to grow in her eyes as I don't respond, the shock almost incapacitating. Tears fall down her cheeks as she goes to leave, but thankfully, my body reacts, grabbing her hand and pull her back. Before she can even say anything, I cup her face and bring her towards me so I can connect our lips.

The sensation is electric as if the world had disappeared and it was just the two of us in this moment. Our lips move in perfect harmony. Nat's hands rest on my hips, giving them a gentle squeeze. My whole body feels a warmth rush over it, butterflies erupting in my stomach as our lips dance together, sharing every feeling we need to share in this moment. As our movements stop, I rest my forehead against hers. "I think I love you too. I've had this feeling I've not been able to understand for a while. But that kiss just explained everything." I say with a laugh as Nat's smile grows.

She leans in and kisses me once again, this one more hungry as my back hits the hospital bed. She deepens the kiss, our tongues exploring each other's mouths, as the passion and desire between us intensified.  I let a small moan out into the kiss as she presses her body against mine. That noise causes her to pull back slightly, and I let out a little whine. "Patience my love. This is all new for you and I want to do this properly." She tells me, which causes me to raise an eyebrow at her in confusion. "I want to go on a date with you." She smirks.

Thank God, she made me watch endless rom coms these last few months or I'd have no clue how this whole thing was meant to go. But over time we grew together, not rushing our relationship. It was perfect to me. When I looked in her eyes, all I saw was pure love and I hope she saw the same in return.

She made me unbelievably happy. There was a time that I never thought I wouldn't get a happy ending. A time when I questioned my purpose. But now, led here in Nat's arms, feeling safe, protected, and loved. I finally understood why I had to keep fighting. I needed to get to her and live our lives together in happiness. 

#natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #avengers fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #black widow x reader #black widow

[bulkyphrase]

Identity Porn Rec List

Some of my favorite fics that deal with the difficulties and complications of having a secret identity.

Identity porn is a mainstay of Stony fic, but there are also some gems from Stucky, SamSteve, and whatever the ship name for Steve/Matt Murdock is.

given you a number, taken away your name by janonny (@awesomelifechoices) (Stony, General Audiences, 4,520 words)

Summary: As Tony behaves more erratically, S.H.I.E.L.D. sends in Steve as an undercover agent in S.I. to be Natasha’s back-up. Except Steve is really, really not cut out for this undercover business. - Before the lift’s doors closed, Stark suddenly grinned and said, “Call me Tony. Have a better rest of the day, big guy.” Awkwardly, Steve lifted his free hand and waved as the doors slid shut between them. What...what was he doing? Why was he waving? Steve hurriedly put his hand down and turned around sharply.

How to Woo the Winter Soldier by writeonclara (@writeonclara) (Stucky, General Audiences, 21,570 words)

Summary: “I think I’m ready to date again,” Steve said. “What,” Natasha said. “What?” Clint said, lowering his binoculars. He blinked at the dumbstruck look on the Captain’s face, then followed his gaze to where he was staring dopily at—at the Winter fucking Soldier. “Steve, no,” Clint groaned. Or: Steve courts the Winter Soldier. Also available as a podfic read by Akaihyou (@akaihyou)

I (created from fantasies) exist solely for you by Mizzy (@mizzy2k) (Stony, Teen And Up Audiences, 62,917 words)

Summary: Six years ago, without the Avengers Initiative there to save the day, scientist Dr. Eric Selvig sacrificed himself to save the world, the almighty demi-god Thor was lost to a terrible storm, and vigilante Iron Man – spotted with a nuclear weapon trying to take advantage of the situation – was forever labelled an enemy of SHIELD. This is a comic book office AU, where Steve is defrosted a year too late, Thor has forgotten who he is, and no one knows Tony is Iron Man. Also includes: office pranks, inappropriate post-it notes, and superheroes who like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. Also available as a podfic read by badfinch (@read-by-badfinch)

More below the cut!

Love Is A Masquerade by Mizzy (@mizzy2k) (Stony, Mature, 12,010 words)

Summary: *loudspeaker noise* Please present your tickets here for your trip on the Steve/Tony Fantasy Trope Land express. On your left we have Masquerade Balls and Identity Porn; on the right we have Steve's Thirst for Iron Man's Thighs and Dramatic Balcony Kissing. Please keep your arms and legs within the ride at all times, thank you. Also featuring Classic Iron Man armor, Identity-Porn-Without-Porn, and Boys-In-Tights. You will need to leave your expectations for plot at the entrance to the fic; be kind and please pick up your trash before you go. Look, it's unrepentant fluff and crack, don't look at me like that, you're the one still reading this summary. [aka] When the Avengers are invited to attend Tony Stark's Annual Masquerade Ball, Steve's hoping Iron Man will be there--after all, he can wear a mask and keep his identity secret. So when Steve recognizes Iron Man's distinctive thighs, Steve is SO sure he's found Iron Man's pilot... He's right, but not in a way Steve would ever have guessed... Also available as a podfic read by paraka (@paraka)

Masked and Anonymous by panickyintheuk (@shiningredandgold) (Stony, Explicit, 4,236 words)

Summary: "When Mr. Stark opened the door, he had his shirt untucked, and no shoes on. It was evening, and it was his own apartment, and Steve was dropping by unannounced, so that was all really fair enough, but it was also the least put-together Steve had ever seen him." Steve drops in on Avengers benefactor Mr. Stark, but it seems that Mr. Stark was expecting him.

Not Just Anybody (Help) by kototyph (Samsteve, Teen And Up Audiences, 9,349 words)

Summary: Sam meets a homeless veteran with a famous name.

Straight on till Morning by Sineala (@sineala) (Stony, Explicit, 109,848 words)

Summary: Tony Stark resigned his commission in Starfleet five years ago, after a disastrous away mission, and he swore he'd never go back. He just wants to be left alone to build warp engines in peace. But the universe has more in store for him than that, as he discovers when Admiral Fury comes to him with an offer he could never have expected and cannot possibly refuse: first officer and chief engineer aboard the all-new USS Avenger, a starship of Tony's own design. What's more, the Avenger's captain is Steve Rogers, hero of the Earth-Romulan War. Believed dead for over a century, Steve is miraculously alive... and very, very attractive. But nothing is ever easy for Tony. As he wrestles with his secret desire for his new captain and his not-so-dormant fears, another mission starts to go wrong, and Tony becomes aware that Steve has secrets of his own -- and the truth could change everything. Also available as a podfic read by M_Samro (@msamro)

Super Villain Dating Tips - Or How Steve Won Over Tony Through The Art of Kidnapping by forgetmenotjimmy (Stony, General Audiences, 46,265 words)

Summary: Steve isn't evil, he's just trying to do the right thing whilst hiding from an insane General who's out for his blood - literally - but when he is forced to kidnap Tony to help him escape the cops, his plans to take down the Secret Division that experimented on him, well, they get put on the back burner. How does a villain date a hero? More kidnapping of course!

The Blind Leading by SkyisGray (Stucky, Explicit, 43,034 words)

Summary: Steve is specifically told not to fraternize with the independently contracted Winter Soldier.

The Corruption of Captain America by the Villain Tony Stark by ladililn (@ladililn) (Stony, Explicit, 50,344 words (WIP))

Summary: Iron Man paused. “Oh my god. You thought I was a robot.” “No, I—” Steve felt his face flushing. “I…considered the possibility,” he admitted. “You thought I was a robot who’s been hitting on you.” “Is that really so crazy?” Steve felt an inexplicable need to defend himself. “In the forties, I fought a Nazi with a skull for a head.”

Think of This as Solving Problems (That Should Never Have Occurred) by Sineala (@sineala) (Stony, Teen And Up Audiences, 35,216 words)

Summary: No one knows Tony is Iron Man. Then Tony gets amnesia, and literally no one knows Tony is Iron Man.

To Make Much of Time by Sineala (@sineala) (Stony, Teen And Up Audiences, 16,114 words)

Summary: When Iron Man rejects Steve's romantic advances, Steve is disappointed, but of course he understands -- Iron Man's secret identity is important. But when a portal opens and Tony Stark crashes into their midst from twelve years in the future, Steve starts to suspect that there are more secrets here than he can even begin to comprehend, and neither Iron Man nor Tony are providing any answers. Also available as a podfic read by paraka (@paraka)

What Lies Behind by kdm103020, xinsomniac1101x (@kdm103020, with art by @xinsomniac1101x) (Stony, Teen And Up Audiences, 63,364 words)

Summary: Four months after the Battle of New York, Steve Rogers still hasn't managed to find his footing. The new century is strange and upsetting, and he appears to have no purpose in it. But when SHIELD sends him to liaise with the director of Stark Industries, his life starts to change in ways he could never imagine. Or, the MCU-rooted AU, in which Steve and Tony both still maintain their secret identities.

with liberty and justice for all by ria_green (Matt Murdock/Steve Rogers, Teen And Up Audiences, 14,020 words)

Summary: Steve and Matt's relationship is basically a romantic comedy. Except for one minor complication - they're both hiding their superhero/vigilante identities from each other.

#steve rogers #marvel fic rec #stony

[ramayantika]

Sakal Ban

Oh look how the streets have been adorned with colourful banners and flower boughs. The flags of my kingdom fly high on the beautiful carved towers, showing the grandeur of my city.

It's the time of the Spring festival. The fields look as golden as the sun with mustard flowers sprouting from the brown soil, their slender stalks flowing in the flower-laden spring breeze, and maidens wearing colourful robes with chiming anklets on soft red-dyed feet run through the golden fields.

I used to be one of them ages ago. These young girls donned in light shaded robes look as beautiful blooms of the royal garden, which used to be a place for my secret trysts with the handsome young lover, who is still elegant and regal as ever, but alas, no longer mine.

Mango buds hang from the branches, and little children play with stones and pebbles under the young tree. Somewhere in the distance, in the extravagant places of the courtly dancers and musicians, I see a lovely maiden adorn flowers in her braid.

Oh, honeybees, you traverse in circles

around the lone nectar-filled bloom in vain.

When you have the whole garden behind her head

Why go for the single little flower of a shrub?

I make my way through the crowded colourful streets once again like I do every Spring Festival, every year and pay my respects at the Nizamudin's shrine.

Dusty paths permeate with a fragrance of jasmine and lavender, and the bazaars are teeming with sweet shops, with small vendors selling savoury snacks. A husband gently feeds a milk sweet to his wife who glows with the little child growing inside her.

I clutch my stomach, and my heart grows fond but also silently weeps at the fate that I was shown but mercilessly snatched away from.

The chitter-chatter of the streets grow louder. In every courtyard, poets and singers sing verses of lovers and romantic union in spring. The patronisers of art fling their gold and silver in fine silk bundles.

And finally the Royal trumpet blows. The crowd stills. The garden girls with large flower garlands stand on the sides, their smiley faces glowing under the pleasant sun. I smile too.

The palanquin bearing the queen enters the street to the shrine. I caress the ring on my finger, a metallic symbol of a broken promise of yesteryears.

The soldiers cheering the empress's name flank the palanquin. Her maidservants and handmaidens donning simple shades and cotton skirts that lightly flutter in the wind walk by. The crowd amazed at all the riches, power and grandeur swoon in delight.

And then the announcer announces the arrival of the empress. He rules over everyone. He rules over our hearts and souls, but foremost mine, even when I can no longer claim his heart, forget the soul anymore, but some springs before, he was all mine, body, heart and soul, where we claimed each other in the golden fields of mustard blooms.

And fate is a popular jester, its jabs hurt the heart at times, but you have to keep smiling, keep laughing, for the show must go on. Life must go on.

An old singer sings:

woh mohe awan keh gaye ashiq rang aur beet gaye barson, sakal ban, phool rahi sarson sakal ban

The emperor hasn't once seen my eyes in all these years, and I never crossed my fate with his. Not all wishes come true at the shrine, and not all promises can be kept.

For some hearts, there is never warm beautiful spring

All they get is a merciless cold winter until death claims their breath,

With Death granting an illusionary hope of a sweet union in the afterlife...

Fate, a cruel jester! The emperor's eyes meet my steely ones. A lone drop falls and I drag the thin veil around my face. The Spring breeze burns my flesh, it's cool winds freezing my once warm and hopeful heart.

But the show must go on, and the Emperor of my city, the lovely Prince of my youth, the sole Ruler of my heart walks away majestically on the royal elephant.

Not once does he turn back and I feel the sharp chilly winds of winter enter my heart.

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊**＊✿❀　❀✿＊**＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Tags: @alhad-si-simran @houseofbreadpakoda @swayamev @arachneofthoughts @krishna-priyatama @navaratna @inexhaustible-sources-of-magic @madoucesouffrance @jessbeinme15 @kaal-naagin @aesthetic-aryavartik @krsnaradhika @krishnaaradhika .

Um so I have been listening to Sakal ban from heeramandi. Looked up to the translation a little and I am writing this inside my Pharmaceutical analysis lab before viva which I am actually not prepared for but we ball.

Please please tell me how it was okay. I haven't written, read and danced due to this continuous shower of exams and it feels so restless and suffocating. I was desperate so wrote this on my phone. So, yes, do leave reviews, comments etc.

Maybe I will post a dance cover after internals later on.

Also, if there are others who wsnt to be included in my writing taglist, do let me knowm

#samridhi writes #desiblr #sakal ban #stories

[bucknastysbabe]

5 + 1 Times Buck’s GF was the crybaby and the one time she wasn’t

Rating: Regular, smut only in one part

Word Count: 4,037

Tags: FLUFFY FLUFF, smut in one part, pnv!sex, soft tender luvin, Bucky is Vry Vry sweet, but he do be laughing at the reader, reader is oversensitive, and also a journalist for the Bugle aka How?, bucks haters get flamed, crying over spilt milk literally, some angst, TW: ptsd, J.Jonah Jameson is out there somewhere shaking his head at his employee

1. In the arms of the angels- FLY AWAYYYY

Bucky could safely say that his precious, precious girl could be somewhat oversensitive. He liked that about her, having someone around who was extremely caring and kind. The former Winter Soldier would be lying if he claimed that he knew how to handle her spells every time.

Although Bucky gotten better over the time they had been together.

They were cuddled on his new, much bigger couch on a lazy Sunday. His girlfriend wore one of Bucky’s t-shirts, the cloth hanging down to her soft thighs. She was spooned against the brunette, head padded on his flesh bicep. The random movie they had been watching went to a commercial. Bucky’s eyes widened when he realized what exactly kind of commercial it was.

The depressing ass ASPCA advertisement. His girlfriend donated to the local humane society and multiple non-profits but would lose her ever loving shit over the poor pets. Bucky instinctively curled his other arm around her waist when the sad song came on. His girl sniffled, “Oh god, I hate this!”

He murmured, “C’mon just look at your phone baby.”

Her sniffles turned into sobs, bemoaning, “I don’t understand how people could do that to the poor animals! It’s ah-ah-awful!” Bucky frowned, vibranium thumb rubbing circles into her hip. He reassured her, “Sweetheart, we about donate to the entirety of Brooklyn. You’re doing good.”

One of her fists banged on his thigh. She cried, “I need to donate to the entirety of the United States!” Bucky’s lips curled up in slight amusement. As much as he hated to see his best girl cry, it was entertaining to see her fit. He shushed her, “Okay we will, s’not like I’m a broke fugitive anymore.” The girl’s watery eyes flicked up to his smirk.

She poked him at an awkward angle, croaking, “Don’t say that about yourself!”

He tried to keep a calm face but ended up snickering. To which Bucky received another annoyed poke and a scoff. Thankfully the ad was done by the time she turned back to the TV. Bucky kissed her hairline and said, “Okay then, no more waterworks and I won’t trash my name. We’ll go buy another damn pound out later.” She seemed to relax, snuggling tight into Bucky’s larger frame.

2. On the floor

A shriek and a crash echoed from the kitchen. Bucky threw down his tattered book and hopped up. He hoped his girlfriend didn’t injure herself, again. The super soldier slid into the kitchen, blue eyes surveying the scene. He half-shouted, “You okay?“

“NO!,” came the distressed reply.

Bucky’s poor girl was half soaked and milk covered the floor, the gallon leaking onto the tile. His brows raised at the mess, hand rubbing at his neck. She threw her hands up and squalled, but made no move to escape the flood.

“I just wanted to make some cereal and the stupid damn jug slipped from my hands!,” she cried.

Bucky sighed and rolled his eyes. This would be the second time she had cried over spilt milk, literally. He strode across the kitchen and picked the sobbing woman up, her arms wrapping around his neck, assuming koala protocol. Or at least that’s what the loon called it.

The brunette rubbed her heaving back, cooing, “Oh poor baby, s’no big deal. I’ll go get another gallon from down the street, okay?” She looked up at him and began crying harder. The distraught woman whined, “No! I screwed it up being a klutz I’ll go get it!”

Bucky lowered them onto a dining room chair, wiping her tears away. He shook his head, eyeing her adorably blotchy cheeks. She pouted, tears lessening in time. The brunette hummed, “Jus’ let me go get the damn milk. You had an accident, I can’t have my pitiful girl crying over actual spilt milk.”

She laid her head in the crook of Bucky’s shoulder, grumbling, “It’s so damn sticky. This is gonna take forever to clean!” Bucky nuzzled her sweet smelling hair, smiling softly. She was too soft for her own good. But that’s why he was here, of course.

Her achingly wide eyes were back peering at Buck. He raised a thick brow, waiting for a response. Slim hands grabbed his stubbled cheeks, asking in a deadpan, “You don’t think I’m the most worthless girl ever right?” She averted her eyes as she continued, “Idiot who can’t make cereal.”

Bucky leaned into her sullen face to capture trembling lips into a kiss. It was chaste and sweet, Bucky murmuring into her lips, “I don’t care if you grew into a hulk monster and crashed the place. Why don’t we clean up and go grab the milk, make it a date huh?”

The brunette bit back a laugh as she hugged him tighter and sobbed out how much she loved him. Bucky tucked her hair back and grinned down at his pretty, crybaby, best girl.

3. Feline fail

Bucky and his girlfriend were cooking dinner together. They were laughing and sharing sweet pecks, bumping hips and slinging sauce. Bucky had remembered an old lasagna recipe and wanted to try it. She obliged with glee.

She changed the song to one of those strange ‘rap’ songs. Bucky was still getting accustomed to the 80’s power music so this was out of his league. She talked along to the lyrics, using a spoon as her microphone. Bucky leaned against the counter, helplessly grinning, hopelessly in love. She did a twist and some weird footwork.

MREOOOWWWW

“Alpine!,” they simultaneously shouted.

The poor cat had run off heavily limping. Bucky cursed, “Ah, shit.” The woman dropped the spatula and went after the fluffy white cat. She frantically apologized, “Alpine! Alpie! I’m so sorry baby! Oh god I didn’t mean to step on your paw babygirl!” Bucky wanted to point out the feline did not understand but held his tongue.

He followed his girlfriend into a back bedroom, then to the walk-in closet. Poor doll was in hysterics now. She wailed, “I’m the worst! What if I broke her paw? Just kill me n-n-nOWWWW!”

Bucky grabbed the sweet thing and hushed her, “Stop howling, Alpine is probably overwhelmed. Let’s be quiet and calmly approach.”

She nodded with a sniffle, mascara running down reddened cheeks. Bucky flicked the light on and softly called, “Alp, Alpine? Pspspsps c’mere baby.” He waggled his fingers at his shoe stand. Slowly the big blue eyes of Alpine came into view. The cat let out a sad ‘maaaoow’. She sucked in a wet sob behind Bucky, little hands fisted into his shirt.

Bucky crouched further down, keeping his palm extended. He cooed, “Over here psps Alpine.” Alpine unfurled from the shoe stand, limping over to the couple. Tears dripped down the young woman’s face as she let the sweet cat sniff her palm and nuzzle against it. She sniveled, “Ohhh- Alpine, m’so sorry,” Bucky was poked as she continued, “Buck? Can you check the paw out?”

Bucky grunted, “Yep. I’m sure she’ll be fine, just a smush and got startled. Bucky picked the white feline up, huge hands so tender with Alpine’s tiny paw. He gave it a few tentative presses and the cat squirmed in pain, making another sad noise. Bucky turned to look at his girlfriend and said, “Yeah I think she might be injured. We can take her to the vet in the morning. Probably just wants to lay down.”

After putting their pet back into the shoe stand, Bucky had stage three to do; console the distraught angel. She had already retreated to the bedroom, cocooning under her copious amounts of fluffy blankets. Bucky had bought them due to supersoldier heat and the ensuing thermostat on the coldest setting possible.

Bucky crawled onto the end of the bed, calling out, “Are you burrowing away from me?”

“Yes. I am the worst. Throw me into the snow already.”

Bucky crawled closer to the familiar lump and teased, “I don’t think paw stomping is equal to hypothermia.”

“It should be.”

His pink lips split into a grin as Buck yanked her blankets back and hopped on top. She squealed and batted at him, howling, “Not funny you jerk! Poor Alpine is hurt!” Bucky laughed, “Poor Alpine has been in shootouts, she’s a-okay.”

She stared up at his stupidly handsome face and pouted. Bucky’s big hands slid up her waist, commenting, “I’ll give you something to cry about if that’s what’cha want babydoll.” His dick never failed to throb at her cute little hitch in breath, pupils blowing wide.

“W-what about the lasagna?”

Bucky licked a hot stripe up her neck, promising, “Oh, this won’t be long. A little pick-me-up for my babydoll.” Her irritated huff quickly turned into a moan. Bucky grinned. So damn cute.

4. Never alone

Bucky had been having trouble sleeping recently, recurring nightmares plaguing any chance of shut eye. His girlfriend worried over him, offering any sort of help. He shook his head, eyes tired, explaining, “It comes in waves, certain times or seasons activate the trauma.”

“Okay, I just wish you didn’t have to sleep on the floor. But whatever will make you more comfortable.”

She wrung her hands nervously, pretty lips curled into a frown. Bucky sighed, patting his lap. He held her tightly and whispered, “I never wanna hurt you, so just for a little bit it’ll be like this okay? I promise, it hurts me too.” She wiped away runny tears, nodding resolutely. His precious baby warbled, “I’m being selfish, don’t mind me prattling and whining. I want what’s best for you. I love you so much,” she pinched Bucky’s thigh, “Go back to therapy tomorrow or I’ll drag you there.”

“I will,” he pecked her lips, “I will.”

They went to their separate beds, well their bed, and Bucky’s blanket and pillow on the floor. He managed to drift off before spinning cycling never ending loops of the Soldier killing and taking swamped his dreams. The asset shot upright with a painful howl, jerking his head around for the enemy.

He jumped up and grabbed a stashed knife, stalking across the floor. So confused on the lines between reality and fiction. He snarled at the sound of a high voice. It was his girl. Bucky was Bucky. Not the asset, soldier, fist of Hydra. He dropped the knife and apologized, “Oh Christ. Are you okay?” He was scared to come closer upon the fear etched into her looks. Fucking monster.

She ran to him and wrapped warm arms around his sweaty torso, crying softly. Bucky couldn’t find words to express his disgust and sorrow, holding her back tightly. His angel croaked, “I was worried about you! I’m s-sorry you had that awful nightmare. Oh Buck, let me sit with you for the rest of the night.”

Bucky peered down with resigned blue eyes. He was more exhausted now after that mind fuck. The brunette needed to get his poor baby to stop crying then maybe he could sleep. Even the cat nervously peered from behind a chair.

They migrated to the couch, her firm on top of him, gently scratching his scalp. Bucky pled, “Please know I would never hurt you. As soon as I heard your voice I knew where I was again.” She pressed her forehead to his and replied, “Then let’s just try this. You don’t have to go through this alone, ever.” She cried in little aborted huffs, trying to hold it together.

Bucky felt his heart swell at her sweet words. She was right, he didn’t have to be alone again. He had friends and his best girl who loved him, hell even the cat. Bucky squeezed her soft waist and gushed, “I love you, so, so, so much. Sweet girl.” He got a couple more tears but soon she became sleepy and winded down.

He managed to fall back into slumber, no dreams this time. Her scent and puffs of soft breath kept him grounded. Bucky hoped he deserved this, praying to whoever granted him this boon.

5. Honey I’m Home! - Smut

Sam hollered out of his big ass truck, “Get ready for the waterworks lover boy!” Bucky held up his middle finger and unlocked the front door. Sam drove away with that annoying guffaw of his. Bucky dropped his bags at the door, Alpine’s blue eyes peering up. He grinned and picked up the kitty, cooing and petting her white fluff. Bucky asked, “Hey, sweet Alp. Where’s mama hm? I know she’s all excited.”

“BABY!,” came the familiar cry. Bucky had to owe it to his supersoldier serum for managing to gently let down Alpine and pick up his girlfriend within 10 seconds. Bucky laughed and picked the woman up, happily swinging them around with a goofy grin. His heart felt so full. She spoke through hefty sobs, “I- Oh gah-ah-ah some pi-pizz-za!” Bucky chuckled and tapped her on the ass.

“The waterworks already angel? So soon?”

“YOU KNOW I MISS-SS-SED YOU!,” she caterwauled, loading Bucky’s face down with kisses. He used a big hand to stabilize her head, sealing his full lips over her shaky ones. She sighed into the lip lock, rambling about how much she missed Bucky between kisses.

Bucky pulled back and hummed, “I missed your pretty face, even the tears.” She nipped his lower lip at the jab, retorting, “Very fu-funny!”

The former assassin chuckled, “No really, I get to hug you.”

She narrowed her eyes, wiping her wet cheeks, “Uh-huh.”

Bucky lowered his lids and gave his best charming half smirk to her, purring, “Y’know what I really miss?” He groped at the globes of her ass gently, eating up her reaction. She gasped, minutely squirming, lashes fluttering. Bucky leant into her ear, humming, “Hm baby? Not gonna ask me?”

She murmured sulkily, “What is it Buck?”

He drew his words out, fanning hot breath across her ear, “I miss the way you cry and rake my back bloody when I’m between those damn thighs.”

“Mmfuck, oh, yeah?,” she squeaked, face heating up. Bucky nodded, long fingers massaging the giving flesh of her cheeks. He rumbled, “Yep sweet baby, couldn’t help myself. So pretty when you come on me. Pizza can wait, I want my girl.” The woman nodded profusely, babbling, “Pleaseplease yes wan’ it Bucky. Missed you!”

In a frenzy she lapped into his plump mouth, kissing like a madwoman. Bucky’s best kept secret is the needy little slut he only gets to have in bed. He stopped to push her against the wall, nosing around at her tits. Bucky’s Henley she wore had slipped down, displaying the soft skin. He lapped at a swollen bud and suckled on her tit, earning a high whine and fingers in his steadily growing hair.

Bucky rutted against her barely clothed pussy, feeling it already damp. He rumbled, “Must’ve been real needy dolly, so wet for me.” She shoved her breasts into his face, gasping out, “Not the same w’out you- ah!” Bucky’s eyes rolled back in his head, her words stoking the fires of that possessive place in his heart.

She pulled at his brown hair, urging Bucky along desperately, hips canting against his need. The super soldier panted, “Yeah, yeah, right m’bad.” He stomped to their bedroom, grinning and kissing her hotly. Bucky laid his girlfriend down and frantically began to untie his boots, throwing them against the wall. His eyes flickered up to her yanking off the shirt.

A punched out groan left his throat when her glistening pussy was revealed to him, panties tossed carelessly to the side. Bucky shucked down his briefs and climbed between her thighs, muttering, “Fuckin’ hell— thought about you every night. Pretty pussy,” he pressed his lips to her thighs, “Legs, all of you. Damn.”

Her wide eyes softened, the girl simpering, “Thought ‘bout you too babe, most handsome guy in the world.” Bucky snorted as he pressed himself flush to her smaller body, “I don’t know about that, I do know that I’m yours though.” She smiled against his cheek, wrapping arms around his wide shoulders. Bucky sighed at the feeling of his baby’s gentle kisses to his scruffy skin.

“You want to wear a condom, me stretch you out?,” Bucky asked, eyes searching her own.

She shook her head and whispered, “Got an IUD, I’ll explain later but we don’t have to wear any condoms,” lips grew wider, “So go on and fuck me Buck.” Bucky groaned in ecstasy, situating himself flush to giving flesh. He pumped his leaking cock a couple of times before rubbing the tip against her slick entrance.

She whined and scrabbled at his back, spreading open wider, pleading, “Yeah, yeah, please Bucky, James, baby.” He replied, strained from how adorable and sexy that was, “I gotcha, hold on, fuck.”

They both cried out softly when Bucky slid in to her warm core, the noise filling the room. The brunette braced a hand beside her head, cursing lowly, “God-fucking-damn you feel so good sweets.” She whined his name, face scrunching up adorably, pussy pulsing around him.

Bucky’s flesh hand curled under the back of one of her knees, pushing the girl wider open with a grunt. He pecked her lips and began to piston into her. His blues fell closed, the rapture of being joined with his love was intense. Even more so when some asshole jacked him with the serum. She cooed softly, “Feels- ah, so good, my sweet Buck.”

He didn’t speed up, as much as the soldier wanted to jackhammer into tomorrow. He would enjoy this reunion, savor every pull of her sweet pussy around his cock. Bucky leaned into her forehead, panting into her mouth, soaking up her cries and whimpers. She gave desperate little kisses, pulling at the hair on Bucky’s nape.

“Ah! Love you!,” she moaned.

Bucky panted back, “Love you, so damn much, fffuck.”

He nuzzled into her neck, listening to himself spread her open with a groan. Selfishly, Bucky sped his hips up some, got his knees under him. That way he could fuck his baby’s g-spot, make her (really) cry. His girlfriend responded quickly, arching her back and jerking back onto Bucky’s cock. A slew up goosebumps lit up her skin, mouth hanging wide open. She scrunched her eyes shut, yelling, “Oh- oh that’s it!”

Bucky crooned, licking up her sweaty throat, “Yeah sweetheart? That’s your spot?” She nodded and babbled hitched ‘yesses’. The girl tightened around him, making the drag impossibly hotter. Bucky whined deep in his chest, strokes stuttering. He brought his vision up to look at his love, whining again at her flushed face and hooded eyes.

She whimpered, “M’so close James, oh god!” Tears pricked pretty eyes, clumping the long lashes. Bucky picked up the pace, relishing in her nails ripping his back to shreds. He would lying if he said the pain didn’t exacerbate the pleasure. The brunette gently nipped at her jaw, begging for his girl to come, hand rubbing at her chest and shoulders tenderly.

Bucky’s eyes about crossed when she tightened and howled around his swollen cock. His hand tore at the mattress while her pussy convulsed around him. She sobbed now, tears leaking down her darkened cheeks, “F-fuck Bucky! S-so good!” Her slick coated him, making the glide ever so messier.

Bucky was close now, listening to her pants and whiny cries of ‘come in me please’ was throttling any sort of longevity. His balls drew painfully close, the vein on the underside of his cock throbbing. He cried her name out, muscles seizing with a twitch, emptying into her tight cunt. Bucky’s fingers seemed to lose their motor function, arm careening with a whine. She heaved, “That’s it! Yes! Yes!”

The soldier sucked in a rough breath, finishing his climax with a soft whimper. Bucky rolled them to the side, softening cock still seating inside her. She pressed kisses to his cheeks and nose, smiling and crying per usual. Bucky wrapped his big arms around her waist and kept her flush to him. He murmured, “Perfect baby, jus’ perfect.” She responded with another stolen kiss.

+1. Public Menace!

They sat together at a restaurant, sipping some drinks. Bucky eyed his beautiful girlfriend, effortlessly styled and flawless. He told her so, earning a bashful smile and roll of the eyes. She countered, “Not as flawless as you, Winter Smolder.” Bucky narrowed his eyes, laughing, “Hey, you wanted me to do that photoshoot!”

The waiter came up with their appetizer. Bucky could tell his girlfriend was not a fan of the other man, lips turned down. She was a good judge of character though. The young man had been staring Bucky down for awhile now, even pointing at him from afar. The brunette furrowed his brows and asked, “Can I help or anything?”

The waiter replied, assuming a defensive stance, “Are you the Winter Soldier?”

Bucky felt his girl’s glare threatening to kill the boy. He offered a sheepish smile and elaborated, “Uh- at one point I was. Not anymore.” The man pressed harder, “Yeah but he’s still in there right?,” they motioned at their skull, “Just a couple of words and you snap right?”

Bucky blanched, but the knife didn’t stop digging in his chest, twisting and hot.

“How were you allowed to be pardoned? I mean The Avengers already are at death’s door, why not let a mass murderer join?,” they hissed. Bucky tried to look around for help, stammering an apology. Panic began to lace at his chest, pulling his throat tight. Their mouth was moving angrily, but all Buck could hear was ringing.

A familiar hand gripped at his, her voice clearing through the attack. His girlfriend calmly replied, “I should report your manager for harassing customers, sir.” She leaned in with a snarl, “What would you do if you were captured by a secret agency embedded within the United States for 75 years huh? Beaten, brainwashed, tortured, and forced to hurt others with no say?”

The waiter attempted to retort but she cut him off with a hand.

“Luckily Bucky here,” she poked the man’s chest, “Has a name! His name has been cleared and has worked very hard on amends. If you got your head out of your ass and looked around maybe you’d see the good work him and Cap have done around the globe!” Bucky’s girlfriend jerked into her purse and threw a bill at the dumbfounded man.

“C’mon sweetheart, we’ll go somewhere else,” she stood up and loudly announced, “I’ll make sure to give my nicest review in the DAILY BUGLE!!!”

The young waiter gasped and stared in a fog.

Bucky shuffled along, still gathering his wits. He’d never seen his girl so pissed. Once outside the restaurant she hugged him tightly, cursing, “Fucking asshole. Sorry I went a little crazy. Jameson would be proud, ha.” Meanwhile the brunette was blinking away tears, grateful for her swift save. He blurted, more of a croak, “Thank you angel.” Suddenly his eyes were blurry with hot tears.

Bucky sobbed in her arms, the panic, shame, and embarrassment from earlier breaking down. The woman soothed him with a shush, rubbing his muscular back. She cooed, “That’s okay, let it out, about time for you to be the crier.” Bucky smiled slightly, eyeing her with red rims. She swiped away his tear, stating, “Don’t ever let an idiot like that make you feel less than, you are good.”

Bucky shook his head, murmuring, “Does everybody still think I’m about to snap?”

She raised a brow, “Buck. The amount of good press you got from the GRC debacle has shown you in a different light,” she laughed, “I can write puff pieces of you napping with the cat if that makes you feel better baby?” He swatted her ass with a roll of teary eyes, thanking his girlfriend again.

Bucky asked, “D’ya just wanna order in instead? I’ll rub your feet.”

“Free of charge, no foot rubs, let’s go home big guy,” she shrugged. Bucky would be a little weepy for the rest of the night, but she made it bearable.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fanfiction #fluff

[imaginesfordifferentfandoms]

Timeless

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Prompt - ‘Cause I believe that we were supposed to find this. So, even in a different life, you still would've been mine, we would've been timeless.’

Notes - The timeline is messed up but that’s ok! Also, nobody cares but omg I got tickets to the Eras Tour!!! 

It was early when Bucky forced himself out of his bed, taking a moment to just sit up and massage his temples, desperately trying to stop the headache that seemed near constant at this point. He figured it was expected though, not enough time had passed since he had managed to escape HYDRA and most days he could still feel the Winter Soldier so clearly in his mind, fighting to obey commands and return to the handlers.

Bucky couldn’t let that happen though, he had spent too much time planning his escape, too much work trying to build something new after months of hiding. He couldn’t even remember exactly when he had formed his plan, only that he hadn’t been in the chair for a while, the handlers thought they had wiped away any remaining traces of Bucky and were only left with the Soldier.

So Bucky played along, he swallowed down the sickness he felt stinging at his throat and obeyed every command given to him until he was able to make his escape. From there he had been running ever since, knowing HYDRA would always be looking for their greatest weapon.

He had finally settled though, running from country to country until he came back to the States, finding his way back to New York.

Slowly his memory had started coming back to him, being out of the chair and on the run had meant more and more came back. Most of the time he couldn’t quite make them out, too jumbled up to connect but he liked to cling to them anyway, they always made him feel safe and he’d take them over the nightmares of his days as the Winter Soldier any day.

He went back to Brooklyn, let himself wander the streets and smiled as small snippets flashed through his mind. More often than not there was a boy, a skinny thing who was always ready for anything, Bucky couldn’t remember his name but he knew he loved the boy like he was his brother.

Then there was a girl. In the memories there was the prettiest girl Bucky had ever seen, he hoped he’d remember her more, he had too. Every time he managed to remember a memory with the girl in it he felt lighter than he had in years, a weight lifting off his shoulders whenever he pictured her smile.

The first thing Bucky had done once he had worked enough odd jobs to rent an apartment was force himself into a morning routine. The first few weeks he had just stayed in bed, alone with the memories of what he had done. He had known it couldn’t carry on that way, he had to do something. So he forced his body into the shower every morning, wiping away the sweat from the previous night’s nightmares before getting dressed and walking the streets of Brooklyn.

Bucky never had a real destination in mind when he left his apartment, preferring to just pick a direction and see if he could remember anything new that day. Today he turned left when he walked out and let himself get lost in the Brooklyn streets.

He let himself walk for a while, there were no new memories but Bucky didn’t mind. It was nice to be able to just walk around by himself for as long as he wanted, no expectations, no commands, no handlers waiting for him and no chair to take away the new memories he did have that he desperately gripped onto.

He didn’t know just how long he had been walking for when he came across a small building in the middle of a row of stores. It was easy to miss, the dark wood was only half the length of the bricked building next to it. He didn’t know what it was about the store that caught his eyes but something was telling him to keep walking towards it.

When he finally came to a stop outside of it he could see through the large window letting the morning light in. Bucky looked through it at relics that looked as old as he was. He stayed where he was for a long moment, just looking before something in him told him to go in and he let himself listen to it.

When he walked into the shop a small bell chimed above his head and he smiled at the old man who was busy behind the counter before he let the door fall shut behind him and he walked around, his fingers trailing along the surfaces.

He made his way to a room in the back where his eyes caught a box, the lid propped open with a handwritten sign taped to it, telling him it was photographs in there worth twenty-five cent each. He didn’t know why a smile pulled at his lips or why he reached down to pull them out but his smile widened when he saw a picture of a woman.

The picture was black and white and a bride beamed up at him, a veil on her head and a bouquet of flowers in her hands. Something about the photograph made Bucky’s heart clench, something familiar that he couldn’t quite place his finger on.

“Come on, doll!” Bucky grinned as he circled around you so he was walking backwards and in front of you. “Say you’ll do it!”

Bucky froze, looking down at the picture as a memory played out before him, he could see it so clearly. It was the girl, the girl he couldn’t remember but so desperately wanted to know, he wanted to know who she was more than anything.

“We can’t!” You laughed, grabbing his hand and making him walk properly after he bumped into a man, shouting an apology over your shoulder as he cursed. “Bucky, don’t be ridiculous!”

“I’m not, c’mon you know you want to.” Bucky moved in front of you again, crouching down so he was eye level with you, pouting and giving you his best puppy dog eyes causing you to laugh again, pushing his shoulder and leaving his trailing after you. “Hey, I'm serious about this.”

“We can’t get married, Bucky!” You laughed again causing Bucky to groan loudly, drawing stares from others around you but neither of you noticed, both too focused on each other.

“Of course we can. C’mon Y/N/N, say you’ll marry me, pretty please.” Your laughter was like music to Bucky’s ears even if it was in response to his pleas to marry him. “We’ll go right down to the court house now, pick you up a pretty dress and be married by the end of the day.”

“How about this, you come back to me and then I’ll marry you.” You countered, the smile falling from your face slightly with the reminder of what was coming.

“You promise?” Bucky smiled, pausing in the middle of the street, taking your chin between his finger and thumb to lift your head to his.

“I promise.” You told him, smiling as he leaned down to kiss you.

He married you? He knew he had to have cared about you, he knew he felt something for you but he had married you? He hoped his past self knew how lucky he was, he’d have done anything now to know you.

“I came back.” Bucky whispered into your ear as you practically flung yourself at him, sobbing into his chest as he held you close, one arm around your waist, the other cupping the back of your head.

“You came back.” You cried against him and Bucky felt his heart break, the whole time he’d be gone the only thing he could think about was how he hadn’t made it back to you.

“I promised, didn’t I?” He murmured into your hair and he felt you nod, tightening his grip on you before pulling away far enough to cup your cheek. “I seem to remember you had a promise of your own to keep.”

He watched as you smiled and it was all he needed, suddenly he was holding back his own tears and dragging you back to him, his lips meeting you in a desperate kiss. He truly hadn’t known if he was ever going to make his way back to you but you hadn’t doubted it, you and Bucky always seemed to find your way back to each other.

“So what d’ya say, Y/N, will you marry me?” He asked after he pulled back, watching as your lips pulled into a beaming smile even as tears still poured down your cheeks, you nodding wildly at him as you huffed out a laugh.

“Of course I’ll marry you.” You told him and Bucky couldn’t help but grin right back at you before leaning in for another kiss.

Bucky felt a smile pull at his lips in the present time, smiling down at the picture of the bride as another memory came back to him.

Bucky couldn’t take his eyes off of you as the doors opened and you came into view. At his side he heard Steve let out a gasp and he couldn’t help but agree, you were breathtaking. He couldn’t believe how lucky he had been to find you, to have you walking down the aisle to him, wanting to marry him.

God, he loved you so much.

He couldn’t remember much of the actual wedding, too busy taking in every little detail of you. Hearing the words ‘I do’ fall from your lips nearly sent him to his knees.  

Bucky didn’t realise he was crying until the woman’s face became blurred through his tears and he took a deep breath, steading himself as he leafed through the photographs. He paused again when he saw one of a couple clinging to each other, the girl had her head buried in the guy's neck and he was holding her tight against him.

You were looking over Bucky with watery eyes. He felt his heart break as he messed with the tie of his uniform, looking at you through the mirror as you took a silent breath before you stood up. You brushed Bucky’s hands away and took over, tying the tie properly around his neck and smoothing it against his chest.

Once you were done Bucky took your hands in his and brought them up to his lips, placing soft kisses against your knuckles.

“Smile for me, doll.” Bucky pleaded, watching as you scrunched your eyes shut to stop the tears from slipping past them and shook your head. “C’mon Y/N/N, it’s my last night, let’s have a good time, yeah?”

“I don’t want you to go.” You told him shakily, opening your eyes and cursing yourself when one tear managed to slip down your cheek but Bucky was quick to cup your cheek, a gentle thumb brushing it away, careful not to smudge your makeup.

“I know but I’ll be back, I promise.” He told you and watched as you shook your head again, trying to pull away from him but Bucky refused to let you go.

“You can’t promise that, Buck.” You told him, bottom lip wobbling as you desperately tried not to cry.

“Yeah I can, I’ve got my girl waiting right here for me, waiting to marry me the second I get back, you can bet I’m coming back to her.” Bucky smiled down at you and you couldn’t help the choked laugh that escaped you.

Whilst you were out it was easy to forget Bucky would be leaving. With his arms around you, him leaning in to kiss you in the middle of the room without a care in the world, it felt like any other day.

Until it came time for Bucky to leave. You stayed back as you watched him say goodbye to Steve, wrapping the smaller man in a hug before pulling away to salute him. Your eyes filled with tears for what felt like the millionth time today, at this point you were so tired of crying but knew it wouldn’t get any better with Bucky leaving.

You watched as he jogged over to you, his smile faded but still in place knowing he had to be brave for you.

The two of you walked hand in hand, neither of you saying anything as you walked down the street. Bucky was shipping out in the early hours and the two of you agreed it would be better to say your goodbyes tonight.

“I’m really gonna miss you baby.” Bucky told you as you came to a stop.

“You promise you’ll come back?” You asked shakily, looking up at him.

Bucky nodded before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your lips, holding you close to him and trying his hardest to convey how much he loved you into one kiss.

“I promise you, Y/N/N, I’ll be back before you know it and I’m gonna write you letters every single night whilst I’m gone.” Bucky swore, leaning his forehead against yours and watching as you were unable to stop the tears from rolling down your cheeks.

“I love you so much, Bucky.” You choked out, throwing your arms around his shoulders and burying your face in his neck.

Bucky felt his strength leaving him and he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him in the middle of the crowded street, not paying any mind to anyone else but you.

“I love you too, Y/N, so, so much.” Bucky told you, murmuring the words into your hair.

Bucky didn’t know how long the two of you stood there but eventually you had to pull away. Bucky cupped your cheeks and gently wiped your tears away before pulling you in for one last kiss that left you both breathless.

“I’m gonna miss you so much.” You told him and Bucky smiled brightly at you.

“I’m gonna miss you like crazy, doll. I’ll be home as soon as I can.” Bucky told you, pressing a kiss to your forehead before hailing a cab for you.

“I love you.” You told him as you pulled him in for a final hug, squeezing him just a bit tighter than usual as you tried to convince yourself he’d be alright.

“I love you too, baby, so much.” Bucky said as he hugged you back, not letting any tears fall until your cab disappeared from view.

The tears leaked from Bucky’s eyes as he remembered you, remembered having to leave you behind, remembered having to be strong for you even when he didn’t know if he would make it back to you. He remembered the moment he truly thought he wouldn’t make it back to you. Finally coming home and having you in his arms felt as close to heaven as Bucky would ever come.

He wiped at his eyes before flicking through the next few pictures.

He had to stop and smile when another photograph caught his eye and he could so clearly see you and him where the teenage couple stood in a driveway, their hands entwined with a note on the back that said school dance, 1958.

“Come on you two, just a few more!” Bucky’s mom insisted and the two of you couldn’t help but groan since she’d said the same thing a half hour ago.

“Mom, we gotta go, we’re gonna be late.” Bucky told her but she just shook her head and waved him off.

“Come on, none of that now. You’ll want to remember this night, let me take a few more.” She said and Bucky just looked at you apologetically causing you to laugh.

“A few more won’t hurt.” You said, causing her to smile and usher you and Bucky together.

Bucky grinned as he held a hand out to you and you couldn’t help but return it and you threaded your fingers through his and turned towards the camera.

“You look beautiful.” Bucky whispered before turning towards his mom too, looking at you out of the corner of his eyes just as the flash went off to see your smile brighten at his words.

“Now you two have a lovely night, Bucky make sure she gets home safe.” His mom reminded him and Bucky had to resist the urge to roll his eyes as everyone knew he walked you home first no matter how much you insisted he didn’t need to.

Bucky remembered that night, the two of you had spent hours dancing together until the dance was over. When he walked you home he remembered thinking he loved you for the first time, stopping outside your house to kiss you and nearly saying those words but not being brave enough.

He missed you. He missed you so much. He’d had a whole life with you, he’d married his girl and he’d left her alone.

He’d left you alone.

You’d lived all these years thinking that he had died. He had died after promising you he’d be home. He’d forgotten who you were, forgotten how loved he had been and how much love he had for you.

He wiped his tears and moved away from the photographs, not sure he could stand to look through them anymore even if they had unlocked a flood of memories.

He remembered being away in the war, reading your letters was the only thing that got him through most of his days and when he wrote his back to you he tried to hide as much of the bad as he could, over exaggerating in his stories hoping that they’d make you smile.

He really hoped they made you smile.

He was meant to have a lifetime with you. He was meant to love you until you were both old and grey. He was meant to have kids with you and be there for you every day of your lives.

The two of you should have had so much longer together. Just when he thought he couldn’t hate HYDRA any more he was shown the life he could have had, torn away from him like everything else had been.

Bucky left the old antique shop with tears in his eyes and a bundle of photographs tied together with brown string.

Days passed and Bucky wasn’t great with the newest technology, give him any weapon and he’d know how to use it in minutes, give him a computer and he was clueless. Eventually though he managed to figure it out and he was walking up the steps of an apartment complex.

His hand shook as he raised it, knocking on the door and waiting anxiously. When the door finally opened he was left breathless.

You couldn’t help but stare, mouth falling open as you looked at the person at your door.

“There’s my girl.” Bucky said shakily, watching as your mouth opened and closed as you tried to make sense of what was happening.

“Bucky?” You finally managed to choke out, the man you had spent all these years missing was at your front door, not looking a day older than the last time you’d seen him.

“Promised I’d come back.” He told you, tears stinging his eyes as he looked at you. You were just as beautiful as he remembered, eyes still as bright.

He couldn’t help but regret that you were older, not that you were older but that he hadn’t been there to grow old with you.

“How are you here?” You asked, still in complete disbelief and not entirely sure this was real.

“It’s a long story.” He told you honestly, not even sure where he’d start. “You look beautiful, Y/N.”

“You look the same as you did all those years ago.” You said, letting out a huff of disbelief. “But at least you kept your promise.”

You gestured for him to come in and it wasn’t long before the two of you were sitting on the sofa. Bucky pulled you into his arms, burying his face in your hair, still amazed he had managed to find you.

His hand brushed over yours and he paused when he felt something, looking down he couldn’t help but frown as he saw a wedding ring around your finger. He was happy you had found somebody, truly he was, but it should’ve been him.

“It’s yours.” You told him and he looked at you questioningly. “It’s your ring.”

“You kept wearing it? After all these years?” Bucky asked in disbelief and it was your turn to smile.

“I never took it off once. It’s impossible to move on from you, Bucky, not that I ever tried.” You chuckled softly and he stared at you in amazement. “I promised to love you to the end of my days, I keep my promises too.”

“I love you so much, Y/N/N.” Bucky whispered as he pressed his forehead to yours. “I’m so, so sorry, doll. I should’ve been here, all these years we should have been making so many memories together.”

“It’s alright.” You murmured, threading your hand with his. “It was a good life, I kept you alive. You were with me with everything I did.”

“I’ve missed you like crazy.” Bucky told you and you laughed, nodding against him.

“You’ve got no idea.” You said, still completely in shock that he was here with you again. “What happened, Bucky?”

Bucky took a deep breath, by the end of his story the pair of you had tear stained cheeks and cuddled closer together, neither able to let the other go after finally having each other back after so long.

“I’m sorry it took so long to find you.” Bucky said as he wiped the tears from your cheeks gently and you smiled, leaning into his touch.

“We always find our way back to each other eventually.” You told him, remembering all those years of growing up and arguing, the fights and the make ups.

No matter what happened between you and Bucky you would always find each other, you were made for each other, forced back together, no matter how much time had passed.

You had spent a lifetime missing Bucky Barnes, a lifetime keeping his memory alive. For years the only things you had to remember him was a cardboard box you kept in your room, photographs of the two of you together, first days of school, first school dances, a picture somebody took as he spun you around, pictures taken of you kissing and dancing. You had the letters you had saved and treasured from his time in the war, words of love and promises that had carried you through the years without him.

“We really were made for each other, huh?” Bucky said with a grin and you couldn’t help but beam back at him, nodding along. “Always supposed to find each other no matter what.”

“I’m glad you found me.” You whispered and Bucky let himself lean in, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, feeling the weight that always seemed to rest so heavily on his shoulders melt away for the first time since he came back to himself.

“Not leaving you again, I promise.” Bucky murmured as he pulled away and shifted to pull you against him, content to hold you close and let himself enjoy the feeling of being home for the first time in a very long time.

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Thank you so much for reading!💜

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[alexanderlightweight]

How about like a post winter soldier-ification. So someone got a hold of Alec to make him into the perfect weapon. So the finding and healing after the fact?

Uh… this is definitely sort of like that. It’s based on the prompt I just… it went places

:) I hope you enjoy!

—

“I know you have a weapon, stolen from the clave.” Clarissa says, eager as she finally explains why the young, apparently runed shadowhunter gets to her point. She’d cornered Magnus in a club, her blonde scowling bodyguard scowling at her side.

Magnus accepted only to get information and now he finds that he has gained quite a bit.

After all, he didn’t know the clave was still spouting those lies.

“I stole nothing from the clave.” Magnus hisses and any goodwill he had for the little girl he remembers allowing to hide with her mother in his territory is gone. “I took back something they stole from me and what I took was not a weapon, Clarissa Fray.”

“But it was something that can help! Whatever it is! It’s powerful enough that even the Inquisitor wants it!”

Magnus doesn’t hesitate to lift her by the neck, magic circling around her neck.

“Who told you to come here?” Magnus demands, his magic flaring as he demands the truth.

“Isabelle Lightwood!” Clarissa gasps out, “she's the weapons specialist of the Iron Sisters, she said to come and ask you for help. When we asked Jace’s grandmother about you, she told us you’d stolen a weapon.”

“So it only took Isabelle forty-three years to betray us.” Magnus sneers and he laughs, bitter and bold as his magic flexes, threatening to crush Carissa’s larynx.

Blondie is still unconscious in the foyer and Magnus laughs, because Clarissa is struggling and she looks betrayed.

She can never feel as betrayed as Magnus has and does.

“When you see Isabelle Lightwood next, remind her of what happened the last time she spoke without thinking. She seems to have forgotten

“My darling Alexander.” Magnus murmurs longingly as he traces the smooth plane of Alexander’s face. He presses his lips to Alexander’s brow and then slowly lets his magic wake his love up.

“Magnus?” His perfect, amazing boy asks, voice hoarse with days upon days of forced sleep. “It’s morning?”

Magnus always wakes his darling at night, easing him back to their world in the time they know the best.

“Alexander.” Magnus breathes out, letting the cold facade he’s worn for nearly half a century melt away. “Beloved, say my name again?”

“Magnus—“ Alexander whispers immediately and he reaches out, fingers trembling as they clutch Magnus' skin.

“Isabelle betrayed us.” Magnus whispers and Alexander stiffens in his arms, “the clave sent hunters sniffing around for a weapon. We need to speed it up darling.”

“You said no, last time. That you wouldn’t do it.”

“I did.” Magnus whispers because he'd rather only have Alexander for a single day a year than risk losing him or even put him through more pain. However, he also will not allow the clave to think they can claim Alexander as a weapon.

Magnus has hoarded and protected his rightfully claimed treasure for decades now. He will not let the clave think they can still what they consider a relic for him, not when their supposed weapon is the love of his life.

“I’ve reconsidered.” Is all Magnus will say, because he will cause Alexander pain if it means keeping him. “I’ll contact Ragnor and Catarina, let them know I’ll need them. The Labyrinth is ready, I’ve paid to keep a warded wing ready at all times for our use.”

Alexander gives him a weak smile as he leans away, yawning as he blinks away sleep.

“I won’t have long, this time.” He warns and Magnus can feel the ache in his voice.

“I know—“ Magnus whispers because he can feel the angelic horror twining around his love’s soul. The pain Magnus already feels.

The same pain that led to Magnus slaughtering an entire coven of vampires.

And perchance, as Magnus tries new arrays and rituals, a few warlocks who annoy him disappear.

Perhaps a dozen or so werewolves disappear during the super moons and eclipses disappear.

The seelie queen has lost a few hundred of her subjects, payment for her many missteps.

One of which cost Magnus dearly. He plucks them over the years, the power of their immortal lives helping him subjugate the angelic curse into submission.

And of course, any nephilim who stray into any traps Magnus lays are harvested.

For nothing can compare to the being Magnus currently holds between his palms.

He kisses Alexander, unable to resist him a moment longer and they share breath and caresses for rare, soft luxurious moments.

Until Alexander starts to stiffen against him and Magnus pulls away, spell already on his lips as Alexander’s eyes turn a cold unfeeling, unthinking blue.

As Alexander fades to a body containing too much angelic core for a personality to survive.

“Rest, my heart.” Magnus soothes quietly as his magic catches and puts Alexander to sleep. “I’ll protect you till you wake, my Alexander.”

#lumine writes #writing wednesdays #writing Wednesday #shadowhunters #magnus bane #alec lightwood #malec #immortal husbands #shadowhunters au #my fics #my fanfics #my ficlets

[hiraethblack22]

Fire and Ice

(Bucky x ofc) series.

MASTERLIST OF THE SERIES: here.

SUMMARY: Thirteen is a HYDRA pawn, a soldier, a spy and an assassin. A wraith. Chosen because of her powers and transformed into the perfect weapon. (enchanted!reader) What happens when her mission becomes locating and eliminating The Winter Soldier?

IMPORTANT: I won't use Y\n but the lead character will be given a name and will be a fully formed character. Set in a time where everyone is still alive and Bucky is free of the hydra. Warnings: violence, blood, torture, and manipulation. Vulgar language. The story will contain adult content. Probably a whole lot of Smut.

CHAPTER TWO: US AND THEM.

Peace is an abstract concept made by powerful people to install faith in the institutions of the world that claim to keep crime and danger at bay. In all the years I’d been living, I quickly realised that it was indeed a false concept, a lie, considering that the same people who claimed to protect the world were installing the danger in it. The idea of peace is nothing but a facade that is used to manipulate the masses.

Hydra was claiming to cleanse the world from evil, but how could they pretend to act for world peace when they were responsible of the death of millions? Couldn’t they see the blood tinting their white vest of morality? How could they profess goodness when they were keeping dozens of slaves under their polished boots?

The Avengers were painted as heroes. Flying around to beat up the evil—that, yes, when they weren’t busy fighting among themselves.

There had been a time when I had hoped for them to come and rescue us, me, from Hydra. But, it soon faded; hope was dangerous, it only led to disappointment and despair. Instead, I focused on survival. I had waited, spending days laying facedown on the filthy floor of the cells and weeks silently witnessing the deaths of my cellmates one after the other. The years I had passed, fed with injections of syringes, and pumped up with synthetic drugs to accomplish assignments that were impossible for anybody else, had helped me to give up all hope, not just in the Avengers but also in the rest of the world.

I ingenuously thought they weren't saving us because they were fighting each moment to defend their values, as we fought every day for a cup of water or a bit of sleep, but no; here they were, drinking champagne in fancy dresses, dancing, as the world outside cried their names.

The fair of peace for the future was another clown show created by the government to show the citizens that the future was safe. The secretary of state had delivered a very long sermon on heroes and peace, licking the avengers' arses every two sentences, and delivering sexist remarks about the heroines of the team—that made my fingers tickle the trigger of my rifle more eagerly than I should have—but in between inaugurations and philosophical peace speeches, the secretary of state made sure he got an exclusive on the prostitution trade every single month, and on the remaining days he accepted bribes from Hydra. So, he would end up murdered, one way or another, but killing him wasn't allowed in my future.

I guessed I couldn’t even proclaim myself as a white knight of peace, not when I was currently waiting to bomb the shit out of it.

“I have eyes on the target.” I murmured into the radio, lowering the binoculars to eye the building where the fair was taking place.

My body moved without me telling it what to do. It checked the ammo, fastened a couple of guns to my legs, secured the daggers around the belt, and lowered the rifle behind my back.

"I hope you mean this horrible building," Marya's voice said in reply. The radio cracked with her voice.

The building was indeed quite horrible—a white oval with an awful lot of windows. It was not a safe place, not even with the dozens of security guards standing outside the building. The others had by now removed the guards and placed the explosives.

The orders had been made clear that it had to be set to trap everyone inside, and us inside with them. The roof was the way out. A soldier had infiltrated the rooftop guards to take control of the chopper when the time was right.

I lowered my hand, and as I willed it, a light flared beneath the skin, producing a flame on the palm of my hand. It swirled on itself, hissing like a wild animal. I allowed it to dance around my fingers with a smile. “It will burn down with the lot of them.”

Marya had been with us for what I imagined was a couple of weeks; sharing a wall of bars had quite made us close. It wasn’t friendship; I didn’t even remember what friendship was supposed to feel like, but we were accompanying each other on long missions and on the dark, cold nights at the headquarters—holding my hand in hers like a loving mother and whispering funny stories of her childhood, telling me how her family had always been loving and caring for her and the rest of her siblings. She often cried, remembering them, thinking about what they thought when they remembered her—I cried with her most of the time, thinking about my brother and the life we had lost.

I knotted the rope to my body, crawling down the side of the building in the silent shadows of the night.

As the other soldiers would trap them all inside, and I would be focused on The Winter Soldier.

The programme they implanted in his head was nearly perfect, certainly better than the one in my head; ours was injected with syringes and would fade away after some weeks, leaving us begging for more. I didn't know why these people wanted the soldier, but I was in charge of bringing his body back with me to the base. I wasn't in a position to care about the reason; the only thing I needed was for my brother to be safe.

I nodded to the other soldiers when I crossed the doors. As soon as I was inside, they all disappeared.

The people were all gathered in the big hall on the second floor, watching the performance. And I was going to give them the most beautiful spectacle—the one they were going to pay with their lives to watch. I distantly heard the noise of the bombs going off behind me.

I smirked.

The game was finally on.

The door of the big hall flew open. The people inside began rushing out, scarfs and clothes over their mouths, to block the smoke from entering their lungs.

I rolled my eyes—people really didn’t know how to save themselves. Running straight into the arms of danger.

I grabbed my rifle and fired shots against the walls. They all dropped in an instant, moving out of the way, and clearing the way for us.

He was in the back of the room. Beautifully swinging punches and kicks at the soldiers surrounding him, ducking out of the flashes of knives. I walked to him, taking my sweet time to extract my favourite dagger from the belt.

The soldiers didn’t waste any time, shooting and punching their way to the Avengers. I recognised a couple of them—I saw the widow jump straight for one of us, leaving him at her feet an instant later. The Captain was, as usual, throwing his shield at the enemies and shouting orders. An arrow flashed past me, grazing my cheek, but I paid no mind; somebody else would take care of that. I saw out of the corner of my eye the soldiers shooting in the direction of the Hawke without breaking the protective circle they had me in—if I didn’t grab a hold of the Winter Soldier, none of us would go unpunished. And then, finally, I saw him

One of the soldiers, S-32 was his number, was attacking too roughly, advancing too closely. He swung a powerful punch at the Winter Soldier, making his head shoot sideways. I saw his blood spraying the floor. Another soldier came, locking his arms behind him. S-32 raised a knife, arching down straight for the Winter Soldier’s throat. The knife flashed closer and closer and brushed the skin of his neck before it stopped.

S-32 stared at me in shock, his eyes wide. His mouth opened, but only a pained groan escaped his trembling lips. He shot his eyes where my hand was closed around his wrist, my skin glowing and his flesh fuming away through my fingers.

“He is mine.”

I kicked him in the chest, watching his body tumble to the ground amid the fight.

I nodded to the other to release him, and his hands couldn’t have dropped faster.

I stared at the Winter Soldier, bending my head to the side to study him better. He was panting in pain, but I couldn't feel any remorse. The power coursing through my veins was too intoxicating to resist. The first thing I noticed were his blue and intense eyes. They reminded me of the ocean, but with a dangerous edge that made me shiver.

I threw another knife from my holster, imbedding it on the floor between the Winter Soldier's feet. He stared at it, then at me.

I winked. "I'd hate for this to be boring."

The Winter Soldier's eyes narrowed, sizing me up and trying to figure out if it was a scam or not. I took a step forward, keeping my eyes locked on his.

"You know," I said, "I've heard a lot about you. The things you've done... they're pretty impressive." He didn't react, remaining frozen in the little bubble that had formed around us. I saw a flicker of something in his eyes. Recognition? Regret? It was hard to tell.

"I don't do that anymore."

"It's cute you think you can escape this," I mocked him.

I quickly turned around to face him, my heart racing as I braced myself for his next move. He lunged at me with the knife. I bent sideways, avoiding that flash of silver.

I didn't wait any longer and lashed out in attack. As I lunged forward, I felt a rush of adrenaline. My foot collided with his stomach, making him stumble backward. He doubled over, escaping from my attack like intangible smoke. He rolled out of the way, rising on his feet behind me, knife in hand and ready.

"Let's dance, doll."

In a flash, the Winter Soldier was on his feet, behind my back, immobilising my arms against my torso with his metal arm. He pressed me against his hard chest. The knife angled beneath my chin, and his breath caressed my ear as he bent down and whispered, "It's cute you think you can beat me."

I took a step back, my eyes locked on his, searching for any sign of weakness. He was quick and agile. Hydra had definitely wasted their time training this man, but they had done it with me too. With a sudden burst of energy, he charged at me again, his knife glinting in the light. I sidestepped his attack and landed a swift kick to his side. He stumbled backward.

The Winter soldier grabbed his side, slightly hunched on his side. I dove forward, sending my knife to slice the air towards his forehead. But the bastard grabbed my wrist, like I had done with S-32 minutes prior. His metal hand crushed it so hard that I felt my bones' wishes to snap. He twisted my wrist until my fingers spasmed open, and the blade clattered awkwardly to the floor. If any of my trainers had been watching, they would have whipped me into unconsciousness.

There was something in his voice that made my blood roar violently in my veins. I involuntarily licked my lips.

"If you're done flirting with me, soldat,” I hardly recognised my own voice, and that mocking smile that could be heard in it. “I'd like to kill you now."

I concentrated on my back, making the skin flare up with fire. He hissed. At first, he tried to hold on to me, but he stumbled back, surrendering to the pain. The knife fell, and I kicked it to let it disappear in the crowd.

As soon as there was space between us, I elbowed him in the groin. I laughed as he groaned in pain, finally rolling away, free from his hold.

With a quick movement, he lunged at me again, his metal arm glinting in the dim light. I dodged his attack and countered with a swift kick to his side. He grunted in pain but didn't back down.

We continued to exchange blows, each one more powerful than the last. As the fight dragged on, I could feel my energy waning, but I refused to give up.

The winter soldier's punch came straight for my mouth. The hit almost knocked me to the ground, but I managed to stay on my feet. I could feel the blood trickling down from my lip. The winter soldier smirked at me, his intense eyes now filled with a hint of amusement.

I knew that this fight was far from over.

I wiped the blood off with the back of my hand. My lips curled in a small smirk of their own.

"I hoped I didn't have to use this," I told him, showing him my hand, the fire rolling on my fingers, "Hydra won't be happy if I burn you to fucking ashes, but hey!" I shot a wave of fire, making it more solid than hot, sending him backward. I shrugged. "Accidents do happen."

I knocked him down twice, sending him further and further into the back of the room, right where I saw Marya keeping the door open for me. She was leaning against the door, using a small knife to clean the underside of her nails, unbothered by the chaos and destruction that was going on around us.

The Winter Soldier stumbled on his feet again, and finally, sending a last blast of power against his chest, he stumbled out of the room.

I nodded to Marya, and she moved to grab her two guns, diving into the room and locking the door behind her.

I took my rifle from my back, and pointed it straight for his heart. “It’s just you and me now, soldat.”

“You don’t have to do this,” he spoke, holding up his hands to show submission.

“Don’t I?” I asked, my voice rougher than I intended. “Are you going to appeal to my sense of pity? Because I have none.”

None I could feel; not at the moment. Not when whatever they shot in my veins was making my heart hammer so loud in my ears that my head felt like it was about to explode; not when I knew what would happen to me and the others if I failed.

“I can help you.”

His eyes were kind, almost sweet, but it was pointless. I didn't know how long I could resist the urge to give in to the voice screaming at me to complete my mission.

“Help me?” I laughed bitterly. “It is a bit late for that.”

I pressed my finger on the trigger. I didn’t know why I was entertaining his idiotic desire to speak with me. I didn’t know why I yet had to shoot a bullet in his heart—heart, not head—because, for whatever reason, my orders prevented me from performing my regular schedule.

“I know they control your mind. I can help you get out of their control. Let me help you. I have connections," he said, "people who can protect you and your loved ones.”

I shook my head.

I opened my mouth to speak again, to scream at him to shut up, to stop messing with my time.

“Nobody can save us,” I said. I heard the sound of the chopper igniting and taking off and the noise of screaming in the distance. The sinister whispers of the serum in my ears and the roaring of the fire.

“The building is on fire. You will die one way," I raised my rifle to aim at his heart, "or the other. Goodbye, soldat. Hydra sends its regards.”

Then everything exploded.

I felt my body flying, smashing against the wall. Then everything turned black.

“Thirt-” a voice broke the surface of the fog clouding my mind. “Thirteen…are you—”

My throat felt like sandpaper, it was aching, and it burned. I brought a hand to my head, as if to find out if I could feel something other than the loud ringing in my ears.

The hand came away stained with blood. I coughed, groaning in pain.

I couldn't understand where I was, couldn't understand why I was in pain. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, making the tears that had been stuck in my eyes fall, and tried to bring my surroundings into focus.

Everything was tinted in red, smoke was filling the room. The flames were slowly consuming the area around me, but my powers had squeezed me into the familiar protective shield, allowing me to breathe. The fire would not burn me, would not kill me—the scientists had tested it in any way they could think; they burned every part of my body, shoved burning iron on my body, in my eyes, in my throat, but nothing; the smoke would kill me, with time, and those damn powers didn't even give me the joy of an unexpected death.

My throat felt like sandpaper; it was aching, and it burned.

I lifted myself onto my knees, bracing myself with my hands when the world wobbled violently.

The screams in the distance were now drowned out by the crackling of the fire. I knew I had to get out of there, but my mind was still reeling from what had just happened. The sinister whispers of the serum echoed in my head, getting quieter and quieter. And for the first time since I had woken up, my head wasn’t heavy and my mind wasn’t blank.

"What the fuck is going on?"

For the first time in years, I was out of the base, and I didn't feel the black mask of the drug pushing me down. There was no constant pain that clutched my heart and mind, no voice in my head making me do things I hated. The world around me seemed brighter and more vibrant than ever, as if I were seeing it for the first time.

Tears rolled out of my eyes. I stared at the door, and I gathered myself to run out of it. Maybe I'd reach those mountains I had seen on the mission to Norway a few years back. I could finally escape and hide. I would be free. Free.

But then I saw him—the sergeant, the soldat, the Winter Soldier slumped on the ground, eyes closed and still as a corpse.

And I remembered the mission. The headquarters. The other soldiers. The fucking microchip they had implanted in my body, prevented me, even in my clearest moments, from escaping.

The rifle was lying somewhere in the room, but retrieving it was the least of my thoughts. I remembered all those words the scientists had shouted in my face, as they beat, whipped, and carved my body according to their pleasure. Michael. Michael would die if I disappeared like that.

I sobbed, mourning for the life I didn't get to live, for the things I wasn't allowed to feel. I took a deep breath and wiped away my tears. I couldn't let my emotions consume me, not now. Michael would be safe, and I would need to sacrifice my life for him. It was a small price to pay for the life of my only family. I had to get up and go back, no matter how hard it was.

But I had a choice to change things. To make them better.

I crawled to the soldier as blood began to trickle from my nose. I groaned with pain as I rolled him onto his back, placing my fingers on his neck. He was alive.

His words echoed in my head.

I can help you. I can help you.

I eyed the exit; it was engulfed in fire, and an escape through the windows was unlikely. "Soldat." I shook him from his shoulders roughly, but nothing. "Soldat. Wake up! Come on."

His eyes stayed closed. Shit.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. I had to think fast.

"Thirteen! Thirteen! Report now." I nearly ripped my belt off in my haste to grab the radio. Marya's voice came through, screaming at me to inform her whether the mission had been successful. "Is the target dead?" I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down.

And I could make no other decision.

My heart was pounding as I took a deep breath and replied, "Affirmative, target eliminated."

"Meet us at the rendezvous point in ten minutes.”

I knew what her words actually meant, if I was not there in time, a squad would track down my microchip—whatever that thing was—and execute me for desertion. Mission accomplished or not. I had to move fast.

"Copy that."

I took another moment to stare at the man before me, looking so peaceful despite everything. He was strong enough to have survived that long in the smoke, in that moment, I had to be strong and pull us both out of this hell. "I hope you're worth it."

I wrapped my arms around the soldier and began to pull, nearly screaming from the pain in my muscles, but I had no time to find an alternative. I couldn't do anything else.

"Damn it, you're heavy." I yanked him with me, stretching the shield around both of us. “If we both die because you want to pull a Sleeping Beauty on me, my ghost will torture yours for eternity.”

The crossing was excruciating.

I dragged him through the big chamber, and then, kicking open the doors, I hauled him up the fire escape to the roof.

I collapsed on the floor beside him, desperately gasping for air. The soldier was still unconscious and unmoving, but he was breathing, and his pulse was steady. And that was enough. Enough to hope.

I lifted the sleeve of his jacket, exposing his arm. And being the only thing at my disposal, I began to write on his arm with my blood.

"You said you could help us." I gave him one last look. "Please do it."

I jumped down the stairs again, submerging into the fire and disappearing.

For the first time in years, the familiar bite of hope came back to haunt me, I only hoped not to be absolutely devastated by the consequences of my actions.

Please, Let me know what you think and if you would like to be tagged in later parts!

Disclaimer: all of my chapters will have a title with the name of a song. This chapter has the title 'Us and them', a song by Pink Floyd. It has no correlation with the story, but I thought it was nice to let you all know.

@mori1b2bpad @lady-bellyn  @thefandomplace @bonkyandsteebluver @billihill - let me know if you still wish to be tagged to the next parts or deleted from the tag list.

#bucky angst #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x yn #bucky fanfic #bucky imagine #bucky x oc #bucky x female reader #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #buky x avenger!reader #james bucky buchanan barnes #bucky #james bucky barnes #bucky series #bucky fic #bucky fluff #the winter soldier #james buchanan barnes #winter soldier #bucky smut #zemo #avengers series #avengers fic #bucky x ofc

[buckyalpine]

Sunshine

Bucky x nurse reader 

A/N: Need some Bucky comfort so here we have: Bucky comforting you as you deal with mental health. This doesn’t follow the exact Marvel timeline/ events, some concepts are the same but I changed some stuff to fit the story better :) Please reblog, like and comment! <3 

Warnings: dealing mental health (anxiety), panic attacks, nightmares, fluff 

Word count: 1.3k 

Mini part 2

“Where’s Sunshine?” Tony sauntered into the kitchen, searching for you, hoping to get some advice on his upcoming date with Pepper.

That is what you were. Sunshine. You brightened the team’s day, forever smiling through adversity. When things got rough, you were comfort, hugs, soft smiles, gently touches. When things were stressful, you were grounding, firm holds, optimistic. You went beyond your job as a nurse at the compound infirmary. You listened without judgement; the team has started visiting you just to talk even when there were no injuries involved.

“Whose sunshine?”  Bucky sat at the kitchen counter sipping on his coffee, still getting accustomed to living in the tower for the last few months.

“Oh, that’s y/n. We call her sunshine cause y’know, she’s like sunshine”

Bucky nodded, remembering the first time he had met you. Steve had snuck you away from the compound for a job that would be off the records. He brought you to a nearly broken down apartment, desperately needing you to help his best friend though he wasn’t sure how you’d respond once you saw who it was. Much to his surprise, you got to work right away, assessing Bucky, asking for his permission before touching him and explaining everything you were doing so he’d feel more comfortable.

Though his body was injured, Bucky remembered the softness of your voice, the way you spoke with kindness, asking him about how he was feeling before doing anything. More importantly, you called him by his name as you spoke. You knew who he was and you were still there keeping him alive. He felt warmth, that someday the world would see him as who he was; James Buchanan Barnes and not the winter soldier. You were his first ray of sunshine that there was hope.

“Suits her”

The next person that had come in looking for you was Sam.

“Where’s Sunshine?” Sam had been tasked with babysitting his nephews, which also meant visiting his sister. He was hoping to drag you along to help him pick some things out for her so he wouldn’t show up with another “Falcon is the best” T-shirt.

“Haven’t seen her all day and I checked her office twice” Tony huffed, settling on cooking a meal himself for a nice dinner in for the date. He recalled a conversation you both had when you said Pepper liked when he did things himself over extravagant gestures.

*3:30 AM*

Bucky woke up screaming, his breath laboured as he frantically looked around at his surroundings. He clutched the sheets, chest heaving as he felt cold sweat run down his neck making his shiver. He dragged himself out of bed; he was never able to sleep after nightmares anyway, deciding to go to the kitchen for a snack instead.

Bucky was surprised when he found you sitting at the counter sipping tea, with a large fuzzy grey blanket draped over you. You looked so cuddly and soft like a koala bear, it made him smile.

“Why are you up at this time doll?

You looked up at him startled, as he pulled you out of your thoughts. Your face softened when you saw him,

“Wasn’t able to sleep. I’m hoping the chamomile tea will help though, shall I make you some?”

Bucky shook his head, mostly because he didn’t want you to move when you looked so cozy.

“It won’t even take 2 minutes, at the very least it’ll help you relax a little so you can try and get some rest again. I know you don’t get much sleep Bucky” You shrugged the blanket off, grabbing another mug from the shelf.

“Can I ask you a question?” Bucky moved beside you, watching you add a teaspoon of honey to his tea, just how he liked, something he never mentioned but you knew anyway.

“Of course, anything”

“How are you always smiling, like you’re always just so sweet and happy. It’s beautiful doll, I can see why everyone calls you sunshine”  

You tried to keep the smile on your face as you felt your throat start to burn and tighten. Tears had already started spilling down your cheeks, as sobs wracked your body.

Bucky felt pain in his chest, physical pain. It hurt him, he could feel the pain seeing your walls break, seeing the happiness you wore as a beautiful mask collapse.

He wrapped his arms around you pulling you into his chest. He rubbed your back and stroked you hair, rocking you without saying anything. He never wanted to let you go, fearing you would disappear into thin air if he didn’t hold onto you.

You cried harder feeling the comforting squeeze of his huge arms. You always gave hugs, amazing hugs but the feeling of being held, being protected by someone else was unmatched. To be wrapped and cradled so securely, you clung onto Bucky hoping he would never let go.

“I-it hurts. I-inside, everything h-hurts Bucky. I try so hard, I-I can’t” You tried to speak through sobs, unable to explain the turmoil you battled within yourself. How you never wanted anyone to feel like they didn’t have a safe space to go to. You wanted to give everyone what you didn’t have, what you needed.

Bucky remained silent, resting his chin on top of your head, continuing to rock you in his arms. He thought about every time he had seen you smile, every time you offered him words of hope and comfort, how badly you needed it yourself. He felt his eyes sting, wondering why he never thought to ask you if you were okay, if you needed something.

Your sobs had been rescued to shallow breaths as you struggled to get your breathing back to normal. Bucky pulled back a little to give you some space, his arms still loosely draped around you, wiping your tears away. “Breathe doll, its okay. Focus on me, yeah?”

You nodded as you looked him, his soft expression and gentle hold grounding you. You copied his breaths, feeling a wave of guilt wash over you for breaking down in front of him. He was already dealing with so much; he didn’t need your issues on top of his.

“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have put all of that on you, I’m so sorry Bu-”

“Y/n stop. You deserve to feel doll, you have nothing to be sorry for. I’m sorry I’ve never checked in on you to ask how you are. You take care of all of us, God knows we wouldn’t function if we didn’t have you”

You let out a soft chuckle, resting you head on his chest as he stroked your head.

“I just- I don’t want to burden anyone with all this” You moved your hand to wave at your head. “I don’t even understand it myself, I don’t know where to begin”

“Did you know I thought you were sunshine way before I knew others called you that?”

You shook your head, as Bucky continued.

“The day you saved me. You knew who I was and you were still so soft and gentle. You said my name, you were so caring. You gave me hope that one day the world would see me the same way you did; that I wouldn’t always just be a mass murder with a metal arm. I felt so warm like the sun had touched me for the first time. That was all you”

You felt your eyes water again, this time because of Bucky’s words, as you held onto him.  

“You don’t have to keep everything inside y/n, I know talking isn’t always the solution, but whatever you need, if I can help you feel a little better, you let me know. I’ll do anything”

“Sometimes I just want a hug”

Bucky smiled, pressing a soft kiss on your forehead.

“Anything for my sunshine”  

-

#Bucky Barnes #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x you #bucky barns imagine #bucky angst #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #fluff #bucky fluff #bucky x nurse reader #bucky x anxious reader #bucky barnes comfort #bucky comfort #marvel fluff #marvel angst #marvel #Avenger #avengers fluff #avengers angst #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky imagine #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x y/n #james bucky buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes

[its-tortle]

🥶 can you do Stucky for this emoji? I'd love that! Congrats on the milestone!

thank you!! i'm not sure what this is but i started typing and this came out. i hope you like &lt;3

Bucky has never liked the cold.

He didn’t like it in Brooklyn, when the biting wind whistled through the alleys and made the windows rattle. The winters were brutal some years, and then their shitty heater would give out completely until Bucky could see the clouds of his breath while he made bitter coffee in the kitchen. He didn’t like the way his hair was always on end, or the way his feet were never quite warm. 

And he certainly didn’t like the way it made Steve’s lungs stutter, and the way it turned his fingers red until they were blue. He didn’t like lying awake worrying, curled around Steve’s lithe frame in an attempt to share just some of his own dwindling warmth, checking every hour to see if Steve was running a fever, if he was still breathing.

The war would come to fix that worry for him, even if it exacerbated every other. Because now Steve was strong, and healthy, and he ran like a furnace even in the freezing French winterscape. While the rest of the Commandos grumbled about the cold nights, Bucky would sneak into Steve’s tent. He would dive his toes, so cold they were numb, into Steve’s warm, glorious thighs just to make him laugh and tuck some of the warmth that sound ignited behind his heart for safe keeping. 

Then, Steve curled around him to share warmth, and while Bucky’s skin sang with Steve’s touch and the heat it left behind, Bucky found that in between jokes about how he was owed it for all of his efforts in Brooklyn, he almost missed the winters in their cold room with the thin window panes. At least there, they weren’t brushing this close with death every day. At least there, Steve was all his.

It’s the memories of those cold Brooklyn nights and the warmth of Steve’s arms in France that get Bucky through the first days and weeks of the worst kind of cold. He doesn't know where he is, or soon even when, why, and who he is, but as the cold creeps into his dank cell -- and later his iron coffin -- some part of his mind always reaches out for those memories. He remembers how cold he had thought it was, even when it was nothing compared to this down-to-the-bone iciness, but he also remembers a different feeling, one that was almost warm despite it. 

He forgets its name for a while, until he finds blue eyes staring at him from across a bridge, and then he remembers what the source of it was.

Steve, he recalls. His best friend, his other half, the sun he revolves around; His warmth.

And those all remain true -- even when the first is finally amended with a giant romantic asterisk -- and Bucky revels in the way he gets to exist beside Steve again, to remember.

Because Bucky remembers everything. He remembers Steve’s knobby knees, and his mother’s laugh, and the grocer at the corner who gave each of the Barnes kids a free strawberry and a wink. He remembers Brooklyn and France, the rattling windows and frosty forests and the nights he and Steve have spent cold and glad for the excuse to curl around one another. He remembers the cryo too, of course, and the endless frost of being the soldier of winter. 

But it’s not so bad, in the end, because Steve never lets him get cold again. He makes him tea every evening, piles fluffy blankets on their bed and their couches. He gives Bucky all of his sweaters, and buys him the thickest, softest yarns to knit with. He curls around Bucky every night, and sometimes just when Bucky is making sweet coffee in their kitchen. 

Steve exaggerates it a little bit sometimes maybe, and then Bucky points out that he’s fighting a losing battle, that he can’t fight Jack Frost.

“Watch me,” Steve says.

Bucky rolls his eyes, because that’s stubborn and stupid and ridiculous, and then kisses him anyway, just for his efforts.

celebrate 1k with me!

#thank you for the prompt! #i hope its okay #it feels a bit strange but hopefully cute enough #stucky #stucky ficlet #stucky fic #steve rogers #bucky barnes #tortle writes #tortle celebrates 1k

[softguarnere]

Hi, Dove!

I saw your post on not doing ship requests anymore, I apologize, I didn't know that you had stopped. I really enjoy reading your work, fic request or one-shot, etc.

I'm not quite sure how to describe this request but it's a Winters x fem!reader oneshot.

I've had this idea in my head that the reader (fem) is a private, or one of the lower ranks (possibly NCO towards the end of the war). Reader pretended to be a man to join the army (like your "Like A Man" fic), and after Winters found out, they started a sort of relationship.

The one-shot request is basically Winters keeps trying to promote her/give her special treatment (allowing her to stay at CP rather than the foxholes, giving extra rations, trying to stop her from going on the patrol from Part 8, etc) because he wants to protect her, but the whole time she expects him to treat her like every other soldier under his command. She loves him, of course, but she doesn't want the special treatment. So yeah, Winters has good intentions (and also wants to show his love because he's a man of action), but she doesn't want to be favored or treated any differently despite their romantic relationship.

I hope this makes sense.

Thanks! Have a great day!

Lucky Stars

Dick Winters x reader

A/N: Somehow this ask temporarily disappeared from my askbox? But it's back now, so we're gonna post this fic while we can 🥳 The entire time that I was writing this, I worried that it would end up being too similar to LAGLAM, since that fic was written as a reader insert at one point. However, because the interactions are with different characters, I'm hoping that I avoided making them feel the same 🤞🏽 Fingers crossed (This is written for the fictional depictions from the show - no disrespect to the real life veterans!) Thanks for the request Anon, and I hope you like this! Warnings: language, improper binding techniques, mentions of war

“This – “ you gesture vaguely and unconvincingly. “ – is not what it looks like.”

Lieutenant Winters drops the box he had, until a few seconds ago, been carrying into the nurses’ station with a real sense of purpose. Now though, it slams to the floor with a painful, heavy slapping noise. Winters himself instantly averts his gaze, but whether from respect for you or embarrassment for himself, you can’t be sure.

You, for your part, stand frozen in the center of the room with an armload full of bandage rolls and health sponges. Which wouldn’t be so bad and could possibly be explained away with an uncomfortable lie of some sort . . . if it weren’t for the fact that the bandages beneath your PT shirt have come undone, leaving your chest decidedly not as flat as those as the other men of Easy Company. In fact, it doesn’t look very manlike at all, as the good Lieutenant had noticed upon entering the room and startling you.

After fumbling for a moment, Winters finally finds his words. “I – uh, I’m sure that there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for this, Private . . .”

“Smith,” you lie.

A gingery eyebrow quirks itself in doubt. Yet, maybe it’s your imagination, but the corner of his mouth twitches, like your fib almost – almost – made him smile.

“Is that your real name?”

On instinct you start to lie again, only to catch yourself. What’s the use, at this point? Lieutenant Winters has been in the room for less than a minute and he’s already figured out that you are not the man that you’ve been claiming to be. Not a man at all, actually – just a woman who’s been disguising herself as one in order to join the army and make those Nazi bastards sorry that they ever killed the wrong girl’s older brother.

“No,” you admit with a sigh.

Winters nods. “Okay, well then.” He picks up the dropped box and sets it on a table before he himself takes a seat beside it. Since joining Easy Company, you’ve noticed that Winters is a pensive man, but he doesn’t take long to come to his decision this time. “Where do you want to begin this story?”

“Sorry?”

“Well, if I’m going to help you keep your secret, I figure that I should probably at least know why you’re doing this to begin with.”

Keep your secret. He’s not reporting you, or having you court martialed. It takes everything in you not to jump for joy.

“Okay,” you say instead. Where’s the proper place to begin this explanation? Winters is watching you expectantly. You clear your throat. “One afternoon, my family got a letter . . .”

. . .

“You know, you don’t have to call me by my rank.”

Alone with Winters, it still takes you aback. He may know your secret, and he may be kind enough to let you come to the home where he’s billeted whenever you need a moment of privacy, but why wouldn’t you call him by his rank?

If you’re being completely honest with yourself, you have imagined it – just not in the way that he’s talking about. Despite your gap in rank, you’ve spent a lot of time around Winters since he learned your secret. And honestly, who wouldn’t find themselves thinking about him as more than a secret keeper after getting to know him? Or even going as far as you have, after one day catching yourself daydreaming about calling him “Dick” and about what the dynamic between you might be under different circumstances. The answer, it would seem, is something that is unattainable under the present conditions. Dick Winters is a gentle soul, and you would hate to see him get hurt because of you.

“You’re my superior officer,” you remind him.

Winters shrugs. “But things are . . . different between us than they are with everyone else.”

“So I get to be an exception?”

Again, he shrugs. “If you want.”

“I don’t want special treatment,” you clarify. “That’s not what I joined up for.”

“Of course.” Winters turns his attention back to the desk with the papers he’s been working on. It sits in front of a small window, and the cool air of the English night blows into the room, fluttering both his hair and his papers ever so slightly. Maybe it can also blow these tempting daydreams from your mind as it passes through.

Without looking up from his paperwork, Dick nods to himself. “Offer still stands.”

You nod before realizing that you’re sitting just out of his peripheral vision. “I’ll think about it.”

. . .

Looking back, it’s hard to pinpoint the time when Winters stopped being Winters and became Dick. Probably at some point between the night when he told you that you didn’t have to call him by his rank and D-Day. After all, it was between those two events that you kissed for the first time – and then several times after that, always in private so as not to be caught.

The same thought from way back in Toccoa echoes through your mind – you would hate to see him get hurt because of you. Although that thought carries more weight to it now with the way that things have changed between you.

Dick being in – and being the one to suggest – a secret relationship is the last thing anyone, including you, would have expected from him. Yet, here you are.

“We’ll keep a low profile,” he suggests.

“We can manage that,” you agree. The secret has been kept safe this long. Now you’re just keeping one more hidden away with the original.

. . .

Keeping a low profile, it would seem, is the herculean task that never seems to get easier. Especially when you have to hide your identity and a secret relationship. So much for going unnoticed.

“We can’t keep doing this,” you sigh.

Startled, Dick looks up from the papers he’s been shuffling through. His eyes go wide as your words sink in.

“That’s not what I mean,” you rush to explain. Attempting to keep your arms crossed for warmth, you manage a vague gesture. “This. Where you give me the special treatment. Someone’s bound to notice.”

“It’s not special treatment. Not really.”

“Because of my – er, circumstance?”

Dick’s face pales. Or maybe it’s just the cold.

“I’ve asked lots of the other men from Easy to be my runner when I think they need a break. Liebgott was here yesterday.”

“But did you tell Lieb that he could spend the night here?”

Of course not. Dick glances away, his cheeks tinging pink. Point proven, then.

You move forward, closing the space between you and taking his hand in yours. You give it a quick squeeze before letting go. After all, there’s always the chance of being caught, which you really can’t risk.

“I appreciate it. Really, I do. I just . . . I’ve got to be treated like all the other men.”

“To make them believe you’re a man?” Dick asks with a raised brow.

“Well, that’s kind of the point of all this.”

That’s it – the secret that makes everything so hard, so necessary to stay off the radar, to hold your cards close to your chest. Disguising yourself as a man to join the Airborne had seemed like such a simple idea when you first came up with it. Putting that idea into practice, though, has been decidedly less straightforward.

Dick – back before he was Dick, to you because he was still Winters – finding out fairly early on may have been a blessing in disguise. For one thing, it brought you together, first as friends, then as a couple – even if your relationship has to remain a secret. But on the other hand, your boyfriend, the kind man that he is, won’t stop trying to take care of you, and you’re worried that someone will notice the special treatment and get you caught.

He's just trying to help in the only way he knows how to show he cares, you remind yourself.

With no one else around, you give him a quick peck on the cheek before stepping away and heading back to the door.

“I’ll see you later, Dick,” you assure him.

He nods, offering you a weak smile. “Stay out of trouble, (Y/N).”

. . .

The word travels quickly: a patrol, tonight, across the river. No one is happy about it – except maybe the new Lieutenant who’s just shown up – and some men have an easier time resigning themselves to their fate than others.

Liebgott is donning one of his trademark smirks when he joins you and several others who were picked to stay behind. You’ve just finished setting up the machine gun on a balcony, aiming it across the river.

“Thought you were on the patrol?”

“My lucky day,” he says with a shrug. “Webster knows German, so he got sent along as translator instead of me. Now I’m here with you lucky bastards.”

A few of the men allow themselves a laugh, either at Liebgott’s description of the events, or in acknowledgement of their own good fortune. You, however, stop short, a question tickling the back of your mind: Were the men picked to go on this patrol totally random? Or is there another reason for your own stroke of luck?

Dick Winters is a lot of things, but a liar is not one of them. You can ask him next time you see him and get your answer, you decide.

You gaze across the river, heart torn as the men around you pass jokes back and forth. You’re incredibly lucky to be on this side of the water.

. . .

There’s nothing in this life that you can’t do. Except, it would appear, ask Dick if he’s been intervening on your behalf.

Every time that you think you’ve worked up the courage, the words become stuck in your throat the second that you attempt to speak them, coming out as nothing more than a barely audible puff of breath.

Today, though, with the war over, it cannot go unacknowledged any longer.

Smiling, you let yourself in to the tent that Dick occupies. He looks up when you enter, smiles when he sees you.

“So . . .” you begin, taking a seat near him.

“So,” he echoes.

You can’t help but let your smile grow. “We did it. We made it through the whole war, secrets intact.”

Dick nods. “It would seem that we have.”

“And no worse for wear,” you add, tapping your sergeant’s stripes on your arm. The promotion should fill you with satisfaction. From the way that Dick looks at them, he feels the sense of pride that you’re missing. It feels like a hollow victory, because you can’t be sure . . . “Was it your idea to promote me?”

Your boyfriend blinks, taken aback. “What?”

“Did I only get this promotion because of you? Please don’t lie,” your voice is quiet, fragile, even. This is an accomplishment that you want to be proud of. However, you can’t feel that way unless its something that you truly earned – on your own with no special treatment.

Dick stands, taking a tentative step toward you. His expression has never been anything but open and honest. That’s true even now.

“No,” he says. “This is something that you earned on your own. Lipton was the one who suggested it.”

Lipton?

“Oh.” Shame washes over you, uncomfortable as a wool sweater in the middle of summer. “I’m so sorry, I just assumed – “

“I know,” Dick interrupts. “It’s okay. I can see why you would think that, considering – “ He makes a vague gesture that somehow encompasses all the times that he’s tried to give you special treatment, only for you to brush him off. “Not me this time, though. Although I wish it had been. Either way, you deserved the stripes, (Y/N).”

The pride you’ve been lacking sneaks into your heart, warming your chest. “Thank you.”

“Not me,” he reminds you with a sly smile. “It was Lipton.”

Playfully, you shove his shoulder. “You know what I mean.”

There’s got to be someone you should thank – not only for the promotion, but for getting you through the war with all your secrets intact. Your lucky stars, maybe. As you grab Dick by the jacket and pull him toward you for a kiss, that’s who you send your gratitude to. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Both of you are breathless when you pull away. For a moment there’s nothing but the peace that settles between two people who are in love as you try to catch your breath. Dick moistens his lips, about the say something, only to be cut off.

“I knew it!” A voice from the entrance of the tent exclaims, startling you both back into reality. Nixon takes a step into the tent as he repeats, “I fucking knew it!”

Well, maybe you thanked your lucky stars too soon.

#I need a better divider for fic requests tbh because I don't like doing the dots #dick winters x reader #dick winters #lewis nixon #band of brothers x reader #band of brothers #band of brothers fanfic #my writing #hbo war #hbo war fanfic

[disastertriowriting]

Disaster Lineage Appreciation Gift Exchange

Fanfics:

A shower a day keeps the self-loathing spirit away by egeria - Obi-Wan gets hurt on a mission and Anakin can't mentally handle it. Snuggles ensue.

A Talk Under the Veil of the Night by StarxRox - Fives was executed in front of his eyes. Anakin can't forget what happened. He has nightmares. He hopes that they are just nightmares. But they aren't. Also Obi-Wan is the inconspicuous casual disaster child everybody believes is perfect.

Acch-To Soul, Korriban Body by Sinvulkt (Wakare) - The hound - for it had no name but hound, beast, mutant - collapsed in the dark alley, its small paws folding underneath it. Its chest felt heavy, and its breath came ragged, pained. Blood sang loudly to its ears, as did the loud men that were after it. Its muzzle was still wet from the time they tried to drown it.

Acolyte by Courtesy Trefflin - The mission to Ringo Vinda spirals downward when Tup tries to kill Luminara and Ahsoka confronts, and is injured by, Dooku's unknown assassin, called the Acolyte. There is a conspiracy involving the clones, and Anakin will do anything to uncover it when it means protecting the only people he has had left since Obi-Wan's death many months ago. (Winter Soldier AU)

Crisis of Faith by Courtesy Trefflin (Tirana Sorki) - Qui-Gon's loss isn't the only thing Obi-Wan struggles with after the battle of Naboo. The entire Order worships him as the Sith killer now, but it means having standards he doesn't know he can reach. He can't forget his master. He used the Dark Side. And he has the Chosen One to train, a padawan who is nothing like what Jedi ought to be.

Do Not Stand at My Grave by ReadingBlueWolf - After saving Naboo, Obi-Wan, and Anakin are kidnapped in broad daylight by Dooku. Frustrated by the Council's lack of response (and the old coot insisting on being called "buir"), Obi-Wan pens a few letters to Qui-Gon about the situation.

Flight Path by Courtesy Trefflin (Amina Gila) - Sidious never let him fly, preferring to keep him chained, and even though Anakin was trapped as a dragon for decades, losing his humanity and memories for a time, he has not lost his love for flying. It’s taken months for him to recover, and now that he and his family are taking a trip to Alderaan, he has the perfect opportunity to test his wings again.

Freefall by InsertSthMeaningful - Rey’s Jedi training on Ahch-To entails many things, like swimming, running, lightsaber duelling – and scaling high cliffs. One day, however she falls, and Master Luke doesn’t catch her. Instead, the Force does.

I dream of water by IceyGemini - For a long time, Luke's dreams nightmares were about heat and fire. This one was different...

Mashaw Bros, Sunset Circus by DragonflyonBreak - Come to the circus and witness what you've never seen before.

Multiples - Leia in ANH by Courtesy Trefflin - On the bridge of the Death Star, moments before Alderaan's destruction, Darth Vader is caught off-guard when a shift in the Force causes four more versions of Leia Organa to appear. Leia, who is... his daughter, apparently, the daughter he never knew he had. And Vader will do anything for his family.

Multiples - Luke in TESB by Courtesy Trefflin (Tirana Sorki) - For months now, Vader has waited for the day when he can tell Luke that he's his father. If Luke will join him, they can make the galaxy a better place. That day has finally arrived, except moments before Vader can reveal the truth, the Force suddenly, and unexpectedly, drops four other versions of Luke in front of him as well.

Multiples - Obi-Wan in ROTS by Courtesy Trefflin - Anakin and Obi-Wan have just landed aboard the Invisible Hand to rescue Chancellor Palpatine when suddenly, four other versions of Obi-Wan appear with them. One Obi-Wan is hard enough sometimes, but five? That is a whole other story. It doesn't help that they're not terribly fond of each other... or that the eldest are hiding things about the future.

Of Lineages and Hope by MiaSirtnev - Obi-Wan Kenobi never had a daughter but did have a very special Grandpadawan in Ahsoka Tano. And in matters large and small, they will always be there for each other. Always.

Ready to Respond (Do Not React) by Kefalion - After the events on Cloud City, Luke has been working on his ability to meditate. In a dream, he reaches the right frame of mind and he speaks with Yoda who shares some wisdom.

Relief by hayam - In retrospect, Dooku probably should have gone to the healers the first time he felt that sore tickle in his throat. Or that slight bit of nausea. It would have saved a lot of trouble..

Skywalker Snared by Writer_Patriot - Verifying Dooku's live capture didn't go as planned. Anakin blames himself.

Successor by Courtesy Trefflin (Tirana Sorki) - Traveling into Wild Space in search of ancient Jedi Temples and holocrons to learn from, in the hopes of rebuilding the Jedi Order, Rey stumbles onto something else entirely: the ancient world of Mortis, except... it's now inhabited by Force ghosts?

Swimming Lessons by Kittona writes (kittona) - Ahsoka plots to get her master to take a vacation; they're going to go to the beach. Sun, sand, relaxation, and most importantly, swimming. There's only one problem, Anakin didn't tell her he never learned to swim

The Time Where Anakin Became Yoda's New Padawan by StarxRox - Basically just another time travel story.

With Me As I Go by Courtesy Trefflin - When Qui-Gon died, becoming one with the Force, he could only watch. Watch as everyone in the lineage mourned him, and as the galaxy fell. But he is not about to let his master die. Or, the five times Qui-Gon tried and failed to help his family, and the one time he succeeded.

Fanart:

Just a Little Family Nap by lulek(szalik)

#star wars #star wars fanfiction #star wars fanart #fanart #fanfiction #gift exchange #disaster lineage #anakin and obi-wan #anakin and ahsoka #qui-gon and dooku #dooku and yoda #yoda and anakin #dooku and obi-wan #luke and vader #leia and vader #rey and luke #rey and leia #rey and anakin #obi-wan and ahsoka #anakin #obi-wan #ahsoka #qui-gon #count dooku #yoda #luke skywalker #rey skywalker #darth vader #vader

[crazyunsexycool]

steve and bucky with reader during civil war but they are on opposite sides but reader actually secretly helped them get out of the airport fight without the boys knowing so then the government finds out and puts you on trial and one day the boys see it while they’re on the run

Hi Darling!

I didn't forget about this one. I went back and forth about how to write this but I hope you like it.!!!!

Wrong side, right reason.

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: none really

The section of the airport you stood in had been destroyed, the smell of smoke was everywhere and debris from the trucks and building littered the pavement. All of those that stood alongside Steve were now under arrest. Steve and Bucky were gone, Tony was furious and you weren’t sure how to feel. Upset that this happened in the first place, slightly afraid of the consequences of your actions if someone found out and heartbroken by the look of betrayal in both of the super soldiers eyes when they saw you standing on Tony’s side. There was nothing left to do but go home, well it wasn’t home anymore not with Steve and Bucky gone. 

***************************************

“Have you seen the news?” Nat asked as she walked into the lab in Wakanda where Shuri had been working with Bucky. Steve’s arms were crossed over his chest and a worried expression etched itself onto his face in response to her question. Bucky who had been testing the new arm that had been given to him stopped to look at her waiting for more information.

Nat turned to Shuri and asked her if she could play any news station from the US. They saw your face plastered on the screen. Many of the pictures had the word traitor stamped over your face before it cut to a live hearing. You sat at the center of the room, all types of cameras pointed in your direction, it was reminiscent of the hearing Nat had been involved in when shield fell. Steve and Bucky moved closer to the screen confused as to why you were there in the first place. They see a brief shot of Tony toward the end of the table you sat behind, he was seething and if he could burn holes on the side of your head with the way he was looking at you he would. It seemed like you didn’t care though as you placed your hands to rest on the table, it’s when they noticed the handcuffs. 

“It doesn’t make sense, she fought on Tony’s side. Why is this happening?”

“Apparently I wasn’t the only one that helped you escape that day.” Nat commented. 

The chatter in the room died down as Senator Ross took a seat, the questioning was about to begin and no one wanted to miss a word.

“Do you know why you’re here today?”

“You’re the one that sent me an invite Rossie, why don’t you tell me.” 

“You are here because you violated the accords you signed.” 

“I never actually signed them. Didn’t agree with them.”

“Signed or not you still violated them by helping the criminal known as the Winter soldier escape as well as the enemy of the state Steve Rogers.”

You lean forward, getting close enough to the microphone that had been placed in front of you. “His name is James Buchanan Barnes and he isn’t a criminal.” You glare at the older man. 

“Then how would you refer to him?” Ross snapped at you.

“Victim, survivor, innocent. Take your pick.”

“Innocent?” he scoffed. “He was involved in dozens of assassinations and other plots to overthrow governments. That’s hardly innocent.”

“Since it seems you are getting forgetful in your old age, Senator, allow me to remind you that Sergeant Barnes holds the unfortunate record for being the longest living prisoner of war. He was tortured, brainwashed and forced to do those things. I’ve come to know him personally and he is a good man, one that wouldn’t willingly hurt anyone. Before all of those things that he was forced to do he sacrificed his life fighting to keep the country safe. I also put my complete trust in Captain Rogers who was the one that uncovered that hydra had been operating right under your nose for years. Before that he fought multiple times to also keep this country safe. So do what you must with me-” this time you turn to Tony and look right at him. “but if I was given the chance to go back in time I wouldn’t change a thing.”

The room erupts with people talking over one another. You sit back in your chair, your hands moving to your lap. It really didn’t matter what happened next, your plan didn’t include sticking around to find out. 

**************************************

Steve cursed under his breath as he walked out of the lab and onto a balcony, needing to be alone with his thoughts. For months he believed you had turned your back on both him and Bucky. He knew that you and Tony had been best friends since before he woke up, that there was a certain amount of loyalty there, but he also knew you loved him and Bucky. You had assured him that it was the three of you before anyone or anything else. So when he saw you standing side by side with Tony his heart broke. He wasn’t angry though, he could never be angry at you. Now he knows you only did it to buy them time. The video that showed you using your powers to allow them to get away was the proof used against you. It played over, it was obviously enhanced to show your use of your abilities. What would normally be an invisible shield you projected keeping Vision from hitting the jet with a ray from the mind stone, was now visible. 

“It had to have been Tony.” Bucky says breaking Steve out of his thoughts. He walks up behind Steve and wraps his arms around the Blonde’s waist. Steve leans into Bucky, needing some type of comfort.

“What was Tony?” 

“The one who turned her in. Look at the footage, no one else could have enhanced it like that. And the way he was looking at her, he was definitely angry. We have to do something Steve, we can’t leave her there.”

“We won’t.” 

*****************************

The official trial against you had begun. Part of you understood Tony and why he turned you in but the other part was angry he did it. Still there was no time to dwell on the broken friendship, not when you had a plan and a small window to execute it in. You were being moved from the courthouse to the prison you were being kept in. If it worked well you would be a somewhat free woman in a couple of minutes. The traffic light turned red and as the van they were using to move you came to a stop you made yourself invisible. Using the guards' confusion to your advantage you managed to escape. 

The moment you were able to stop you broke free of the handcuffs and headed to the storage facility that you had set up months in advance for this exact reason. There was no way you would be able to go back home, you set up a storage locker with some clothes,  weapons, fake IDs and most importantly cash under a fake name. The advantage of having the ability to turn invisible was you didn’t have to worry about cameras or signing in. Once you reach your locker you grab the key from where you hid it and slip inside. You didn’t really know what was next, all you knew was that you would have to travel light so that you could run at any moment. After changing out of what you were wearing you grabbed the backpack that you had ready and headed out of the storage facility. 

The last thing you ever expected was that the team would split and that you were now a fugitive but here you were, alone and lost. Without Steve and Bucky and without your best friend. You stay invisible until you’re able to find transportation to head out of the city. 

******************************

Nat and Steve used every single contact to try and find any trace of you. Now, not only were you considered a traitor but also a fugitive and they knew they didn’t have much time to find you and get you to safety. Unfortunately all the sightings were old and they both knew how you worked. You kept a low profile and you moved fast. By the time they had a solid lead and went to check you were gone.

 Bucky and Steve were getting anxious with every passing hour. You had sacrificed your safety and freedom for them and they thought you had betrayed them. Steve more than Bucky, you had been together longer he should have known you would never turn your back on them. Bucky on the other was more hurt than anything. When you met he had saved Steve from the river and then he escaped DC and was on the run. You were the first one that caught up to him. He didn’t know how long you had been following him but you had shown him kindness and trust when he was in that headspace between the Winter Soldier and Bucky Barnes. Your delicate touch kept him grounded when the nightmares plagued his sleep. There was a very small amount of time in which the three of you were truly happy together. You had brought him home to Steve and welcomed him into the apartment you shared. The apartment that also became his home. There had been a discussion when he first got there, Steve and Bucky told you of their feelings for each other. Instead of being disgusted or leaving them behind you assured them that you three could be together. Then you held them offering your love and support especially when they didn’t know how to navigate their own relationship freely. They wanted nothing more than to hold you close again and make sure you were safe. 

******************************************

6 months since your escape/1 year since the fight at the airport 

It was exhausting being on the road constantly. No real rest, always looking over your shoulder. There was even a moment when you stayed invisible most of the time, your ability wearing off when you fell asleep. But that had been the first month. It was getting better, you could stay where you were longer. You could  sleep better, you still missed Steve and Bucky but you could only hope that they were safe and together. That lets you breathe easier, hoping that they were together. 

You weren’t sure when it happened but you let your guard down for a day or so. Now agents were after you and you had to keep running. With barely any sleep and using your abilities for as long as you had you were pushing yourself past the level of exhaustion. You were drained and it was painful. This had been the first time that you had pushed yourself this much to use your ability. And it wasn’t like a small amount of pain, it radiated throughout your whole body. Almost as if you had a muscle spasm but instead of one muscle it was from your head to your toes. 

You did the only thing you could do. It’s not what you wanted, but you had no choice, you couldn’t take it anymore. And you knew you wouldn’t see Steve or Bucky again so you gave up and gave in. Finding an abandoned factory in the middle of Montana you did what you had to do. It was dirty and falling apart but you found an office deep in the main building and you sat on the floor under a desk. You took out the disposable phone you had bought and you dialed the only number saved. It only rang twice.

“Tony?” you felt weak, on the verge of slipping into sleep and it could be heard in your voice.

No Response. 

“Look, I understand that you’re angry with me. I get it ok, I completely understand why you’re upset that I helped them get away.” you stop for a moment because even speaking so much was taking so much energy. Tears start to gather in your eyes and you clear your throat before you continue. “I know you’ve already traced this phone, so tell them to come get me. It’s ok I won’t blame you for it.”

No answer. 

“I’m sorry Tony I really am but fuck- I am so tired. And using my abilities for so long hurts so fucking much. I know I shouldn’t be asking for any favors but if you see or hear from Steve or Bucky just tell them that I love them.” a small sob escapes your lips, you know this is the end and you will never see them again. 

The line goes dead. You cried, it was over for you. All of the pent up anger and heartache bubbled to the surface after. It would be almost a year since the last time you had seen your super soldiers and you had resigned yourself that this was the end, you would be taken to the raft and your life would truly be over.

****************************************

Warmth enveloped you and for the first time in months your body didn’t feel tense or tired. That is was started to pull your mind from slumber. The place you were at was cold and damp and overall uncomfortable. The stark difference in where you fell asleep to where you were now had begun to pull you from sleep. Your eyes open just a little to adjust to the light that might be surrounding you. There are whispers around you only pulling you more from your dreamy state. You blink a few times trying to recognize where you are when you realize someone is holding you. Pulling away from their shoulder you look up, you’re confused when the person looks down with a small smile on their lips.

“Am I dead? Are you Jesus?” You whisper mostly to yourself. That earns a laugh and you recognize it. “Bucky?” 

“Hi sugar.” 

Tears spill but this time all you feel is relief. “How are you here?” You wrapped your arms around him, feeling his lips on your forehead.

“Tony called us.” You turned your head to see Steve crouched down in front of you and Bucky and you dove straight into his arms.

“How? If he found a way to contact you he can track you.” Panic starts to set in, maybe you only had a few short minutes with them.

“No, I sent him an untraceable phone to call me if he needed us a while back. I received a text with coordinates and a voice recording of what you said to him.” 

You clung to him, you needed them more than you had realized. Steve pulls back and looks at you, his beautiful blue eyes riddled with guilt. 

“I’m so so-“

“Don’t you dare apologize.”  

You both said at the same time, and he smiled. 

“I’m sorry, when I saw you stand with Tony I -“

“It’s ok I would have been angry too.” 

“I wasn’t angry, just hurt but I should have known better.” He kisses your forehead. “Will you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive, you did the right thing.” 

Steve hugs you again, the warmth you had come to know from him envelopes you for the first time in a year. He picks you up with ease and sits you down besides Bucky. Once you’re out of the embrace you realize where you are. 

“Where did you get a jet?” 

“I got it. You know these men can’t function without me.” Nat says as she turns and gets up from the pilot seat. Smiling, she comes over and gives you a hug. 

“We’re glad you’re safe.” You look over Nat’s shoulder to see Sam. He moves closer to hug you.

“I’m so glad you’re all ok. How are the others?”

“They’re good, retired mostly.” Steve offers.

“And you four?”

“We’ve been doing missions, trying to help people. Bucky was in Wakanda for some time.” 

“They gave me this.” He shows you his left arm. “And they helped me get rid of the trigger words Hydra used on me.”

“Bucky.” You hugged him again, whispering in his ear. “You’re free.”

“I am.” he says with teary eyes. “And now that you’re safe with us I’m happy. We both are.”

“Where are we going now?” 

“Somewhere safe so that you can rest and get your strength back.” Steve informs you as his hand takes yours. 

They do just that, after a few hours of being in the jet you finally make it to their safehouse somewhere in Europe. You wouldn’t see half of the team again until two years later when you had to fight for humanity, but at this moment you didn’t know that. All you knew was that you were finally together with the men you loved. That fighting and running for your freedom had been worth it because now you were home. 

Permanent taglist: @kunaikunari @rebekahdawkins @cjand10 @nalny5 @oliviafc15 @sturchling @angywritesstuff @seitmai @writing-for-marvel @goldylions @darkhairedmenrule

#stucky x reader #captain america civil war #captain america #winter soldier #bucky barnes #steve rogers #bucky x reader #steve x reader #steve x bucky #bucky barnes x reader #Steve rogers x reader #anon stucky request #stucky request #anon ask

[whatislovevavy]

WC: 4.4k

Synopsis: An exploration of why Bucky decided to cut his hair

AN: This has been in my Google Drive for about two years and finally got around/had the motivation to finish this. This piece was technically my first ever piece of fanfiction I ever wrote. My writing mostly pertains to Top Gun and Top Gun Maverick so this was a nice little brain break from that. I thought I'd include the original author's note I put together, having never written fanfiction at the time, just for nostalgic sake and if anyone wants to know just how new to this I was lol. Also this divider is not mine and I was unable to tag the account that made it since it was deleted. This work will be posted on my side blog @sophs-writing-nook.

Original Author’s Note: Hello everyone :) This is the first fanfiction I’ve ever written and I really hope you guys like it because I’m a bit nervous about it. I’ve had this idea since I saw the first promotions for the Falcon and Winter Soldier series and didn't really do anything about it for a variety of reasons. I haven’t seen a lot of fics exploring this concept so I decided to write this on a camping trip in my notes app where I didn’t have reception so I apologize if there is bad grammar, spelling errors, etc. If there happens to be a similarity to another fic, it is purely coincidence and I don’t intend to plagiarize anyone. Please let me know if it does appear I have. I have a lot of respect for fanfic writers and don’t want to disrespect anyone and steal anyone’s work unintentionally. 

Warnings: Blood, Trauma (PTSD), sadness with some bittersweet moments sprinkled in, supportive Sam because that’s a warning in itself. 

None of these characters are mine. Read at your own discretion.

Bucky had tried finding a routine after coming back: Get up by 7, go on a run make breakfast, try to keep in touch with his friends he had made since coming back, try a new recipe, maybe try online dating, catch up on what he missed the past 70 years, try to forgive himself for all the atrocities he didn't have a choice in committing, make dinner, shower, and sleep by 9.

That's what his therapist, Darlene, told him to do at least.

She wanted him to write in a journal the names of the people and families he wanted to make amends with, things he wanted to explore and try out, and good things he remembered before he was the Winter Soldier.

Darlene had kept encouraging him to keep referring to the Winter Soldier as if he were his own separate person, and not affiliated with James Buchanan Barnes.

It helped a bit with passing the blame, but not by much. He, naturally, chose the last remnant of Steve he had- his journal- to hold these thoughts.

Steve saw the best in him when he couldn't. 

He made an effort to try and forgive himself for everything he did, for Steve’s sake. 

Why Steve had left him, he didn't fully understand. 

It didn't make the "forgiving himself" part any easier. 

If his lifelong friend, who had been with him through thick and thin, decided to leave him now in this time of his broken, mutilated life, what did that say about him? 

Was he wrong about him? 

Did he truly believe he was worth being fixed and forgiven? 

There were small moments of hope that he could be fixed, but they were few and far inbetween.

His nightmares had gotten worse.

If Darlene would ask, he’d tell her, “no, they haven't", "they've stopped", or "I haven't had one for a while.” Bullshit excuses that anybody who saw the dark circles under his eyes wouldn't believe. Darlene knew he was lying and would try to reassure him that their space was safe and it would help him to get his nightmares out in the open.

He didn't think so.

This woman didn't know what it was like to have the same horrific scenarios play out in his mind every time he went to sleep. 

To see himself killing innocent people like he was in the backseat of his mind. 

The blood. 

Their faces, some close friends and others strangers. 

Their pleas and calls for mercy were what always broke him. 

He was forced again and again to witness himself taking their lives and couldn't do anything to stop himself. Forced to use any part of himself for Hydra.

Nothing was spared.

He felt unforgivable, these nightmares were a sign of the Winter Soldier still being in his head, buried and ready if Hydra got their hands on him again. 

He was tired of fighting and worrying, only wanting lasting peace and a full night's rest.

He had started renting an apartment in downtown Brooklyn near where his family had lived during the 40's. It was near the church cemetery his mother, father and sister, Rebecca, were buried. They were placed in the row closest to the street behind the church his family frequented during his youth. 

His parents had passed from old age when he was imprisoned by Hydra. 

A small part of him was thankful for that. 

They never had to learn that their son had done such horrible things.

They lived with the good memories of him.

His sister had passed during the time half the population was gone, the Blip people called it, from Alzheimer's. He visited her once before, but she was in the late stages, and was a shell of who he remembered growing up. 

His little sister Rebecca, whom he protected, opened jars for, teased, and made sure the boys she liked would be good to her, was now unable to remember him. He was told she passed peacefully in her sleep a few months after he disappeared.

Darlene thought that buying an apartment so close to his family's resting place might be overwhelming for him, but he wanted to be close to them and the memories he had.

The apartment consisted of a basic floor plan; kitchen, bathroom with a shower and bath, living room, bedroom, closet. However, he only used the kitchen, bathroom, and living room.

He didn't have many things when he moved in, and didn't feel he needed all the space allotted to him.

He had invested in a modest tv set, a microwave, blender, and a camping mat, courtesy of Sam's encouragement. 

He had tried sleeping on a mattress, but he felt that he was going to sink through into the floor with how soft and marshmallow-like it felt. He always slept on the floor with a few blankets and sheets. 

Sam had the same experience when he came back from Afghanistan.

Sam had tried to help him adjust to things since coming back, and had done a lot for him, including to help him find his apartment and encourage him to try new things.

There were times he had trouble getting out of his headspace to return Sam's calls and initiate with his friend. Darlene had been saying that for a person who allegedly had no one left, he seemed to have a safety net in Sam. She pushed him to call someone other than her and initiate with him. It was another case where he felt she didn't fully understand how difficult it was for him to build relationships, and "get his nightmares out in the open" since coming back.

He had gotten home late that night from the store, buying ingredients to make a recipe Darlene recommended: chicken tikka masala, he thought she called it.

He was amazed at the amount of change he had missed, especially from a grocery store. His family would boil everything with what minimal spices were available, other than the usual salt and pepper. He found solace in trying new recipes and exposing himself to the technological wonders of the 21st century, including learning how to use a DVD player and the iPhone he recently bought. He tried online dating but found it was too overwhelming and made him feel like a fish out of water. Asking people on dates and seeking relationships came easily to him when he was younger before the war, but everything felt so different now. 

He felt so different and foreign to himself. His arm. His mind. He felt like a shell of the person he was before the Winter Soldier.

His groceries were unloaded into the fridge and he started to prepare his dinner. He placed a bowl on the counter for mixing chicken marinade and marinating the soon to be cooked slices of chicken. The chicken slices were placed into a pan on a low heat to begin cooking. They wouldn't take long since they only had to cook halfway through initially. He gathered the spices for the marinade.

The soft smells of turmeric, ginger, cumin, and garam masala reminded him of the evenings he spent helping his mother cook during the summer. His mother would rummage together some cash every once in a while to buy a few sachets of spices from the local grocery. It was an indulgence she took part in that, compared to now, seemed simple and less of an everyday luxury. 

Sure, the spices she would bring home were more mild and less "exotic" than what he had available to him now, but it was the familiar memory of being taught to cook and the soft smells of his mother's cooking.

His conscience told him to use the spices sparingly despite himself being confronted with a substantially sized grocery aisle complete with spices from almost every corner of the world a mere few hours ago.

Maybe it was his upbringing during the Great Depression and watching his parents worry about where the next paycheck would come from.

Or maybe it was his instinct telling him this small semblance of peace he had found in his Brooklyn apartment would be snatched away, and that he needed to savor every new experience in stride. 

Because if he let himself enjoy them too much, it would make the snatching that much more painful.

He couldn't decide.

He finished the marinade and would have to wait an hour or two to start the sauce and cook the chicken. He placed it in the fridge and made his way to the bathroom for a shower.

The warm water felt nice on his warped, scarred flesh around his arm on his left side. The area would often become sore and plagued by knots. Sam recommended warm showers, aloe vera, a massage and spa place nearby, and Advil. The thought of people he didn't know touching his scarred flesh made him feel nervous, so the rest of his suggestions were his go to. 

His scar tissue and long hair were the last physical mark of Hydra on him. 

He was thankful he didn't have to see the red star that had branded him for so many years when he looked in the mirror anymore, since leaving Wakanda.

But there was still his hair.

His hair that had blood, dirt and grime stained into it for his 70 years of service. No matter how many times he showered, he knew the blood would never leave his hair or his hands. His mind would drift through waves of hopelessness in quiet moments like these more often than not.

He dried himself off with a soft towel, changed into a pair of boxers, and began to gingerly apply aloe vera to the junction where his arm met his shoulder. His shoulder was still a bit sensitive after all these years despite the enhanced healing from the serum. Shuri theorized it was because the metal cavity of his arm continuously tore through the underlying tissue. She was able to remove the bits and pieces of metal embedded in his shoulder. His arm was in the healing process, but it would take a while after years of damage even with the serum. After he finished rubbing in the aloe vera, He put on a dark t-shirt and made his way back into the kitchen to finish the sauce.

He carefully prepared the onions, garlic, and spices for the sauce the way his mother taught him to. 

He couldn't help but think about how his parents and sister would have loved to have tried this recipe with him.

He could almost hear his mother's voice in his head telling him to "cut the onions a bit smaller" or "don't let the garlic and onions burn in the pan".

Rebecca's eagerness to try the sauce prematurely with a perfected pout and whines of protest when denied so.

His father's quiet yet strong presence at the kitchen table reading the daily paper and soft scolding of his sister.

Steve drawing in his journal at the dinner table on evenings when Sarah Rogers would be working late at the hospital.

The radio softly playing in the background as a soothing ambiance.

The kitchen window opened to let the aroma of the Barnes’ family dinner wander through the back alley of the apartment building, and let in the sounds of the neighbors' soft conversations, clothes oscillating in the wind on the clothes line, and car engines humming as people made their way home at dusk.

All qualities of his family's evening routine and upbringing he longed for, but took for granted in his youth.

The stark smell of overcooked onions brought him back to the task at hand, pulling him from his thoughts but leaving his buildup of emotions he felt were about to rupture. He added the heavy cream, spices, brown sugar, and let them stir with the marinated onions and garlic. He felt tears start to form in his eyes. Letting the sauce thicken, he turned the pan onto a low heat, and added the marinated chicken to finish cooking. 

He placed the spatula down on the counter top with a shaky hand, placing his hands on the counter to support himself as he let out a shaky breath, blinking away tears that formed in the corners of his eyes.

God, he wished they were here with him. Steve. His mom. His dad. Rebecca.

He wished he had somebody who knew him before the Winter Soldier that could help him to pick up the broken pieces of himself and to become the person he was again.

He wished he could have said goodbye to his parents, Rebecca, and that Steve hadn't left him.

He wished he could've held his parents one last time before they passed, met the man that Rebecca fell in love with and had a family with, and fought harder for Steve to stay with him and help pick up the pieces.

All things that he couldn't do anything about now.

He wiped his tears away and returned to stirring his chicken masala. Thoughts of his family blending with the thoughts of his recipe like the spices and heavy cream in his pan as a cope. Darlene had mentioned that the recipe goes best with garlic buttered rice or naan, so he had bought ingredients for both, but opted for the naan. He turned on the oven, placed some naan from the store on a baking sheet, and into the oven before returning to stirring the contents of the pan. 

He remembered Sam wanted to come over and check in on how he was settling into his apartment, sometime the next day. Maybe he would want to try some of his dish. 

"Initiate, take small steps to initiate". This counted as initiating, right? He hoped so.

His chicken masala was well blended and deemed done. His naan close behind. He placed a bowl and plate on the counter, served up his recipe and naan, and sat down at his two person dinner table, and prepared to eat. Darlene had told him that making a makeshift taco with the naan tasted good if he opted to not make the garlic butter rice. He took his first bite and let himself experience each incredible flavor. 

He would definitely be making this recipe again.

Maybe he could make a batch for Sam. 

It would be a small way to return the favor.

He made his way through his dinner, and would start heading to bed soon. It was almost 9 anyway. Shuri told him that consistent good sleep would also help him heal mentally along with his therapy and the treatment she provided.

He made a mental note to try making the garlic butter rice, thank Darlene for the recipe, and ask her if she had any more favorite recipes he should try during his next session.

He brought his dishes to the sink, moved to the bathroom to brush his teeth, and shed himself of his shirt. Sleeping shirtless was normal for him both during the war and after getting the serum, finding that he would warm up easily and end up tossing and turning in the night. 

His escalated body heat helped him to survive the frigid Siberian winters during his imprisonment, but not the mild to warm summer nights in Brooklyn.

Laying on the hardwood floor with the lights out left him with his thoughts. He remembered the nights he and Steve spent laying on couch cushions on the living room floor of his parents apartment. 

The nights he and his sister would read The Hobbit under the covers of his bed when they were younger, while their parents thought they were sleeping. 

He liked to sleep with the TV on at a low volume and the window opened so he wouldn't be lost in his thoughts for too long. 

He didn't have as much trouble falling asleep as before. Darlene told him to take deep breaths while resting his eyes and had gotten better at it since seeing her. 

Breathe in for 5 seconds, exhale for 10, and repeat till he felt calm enough to drift to sleep.

He steadily awoke hours later, feeling warm and groggy.

 It was quiet. 

The TV was off and the window was shut. 

He was none the wiser in his hindered state of being as he lifted himself off of the floor and trudged to the bathroom, the soft sound of his bare feet pattering on the wood floor like rain drops on a window, encompassing his apartment in a soft echo.

He turned on the soft bathroom light and twisted the cold faucet on, leaned down and scooped cold water in his hand, and poured it on his face. Supporting himself by his forearms, he closed his eyes and relished in the feeling of cold on his face and cascading down his neck. 

The water felt warmer now and had a distinct iron smell to it.

He opened his eyes and was met with his hands drenched in blood. Blood flowing into the sink from the tap. 

He slowly turned to meet his reflection. Met with the cold, dark, blank eyes of the Winter Soldier. The blood stained leather vest, black muzzle, and the long brunette hair stained black from blood falling over his face. 

He was there with him, as clear as day. 

He felt a stark and deep rooted sense of fear awaken and burrow itself in his chest as he quickly retreated from the sink, pressing himself against the opposing wall. Eyes wide and breathing heavy, he felt the walls of the bathroom constricting him.

The Winter Soldier reached out his metal arm, severing the separation between the mirror and his bathroom, and brought it down onto the counter top with a resounding crack, small remnants of the cheap countertop tumbling to the floor. He lunged for the door and twisted the knob but it wouldn't budge. Desperately, he tried to break down the door, knuckles bleeding and eyes teary. He could feel the Winter Soldier getting closer to him and was too terrified to turn back and face him. He broke through the door with a splitting crack, splinters in his hands. Awaiting on the other side was a long dimly lit corridor lined with bars and cold concrete walls. 

His heart stopped. 

He knew this corridor. 

He would always know this corridor. 

He didn't want to go forward, but he had no choice. Breaking into a sprint, not looking back and praying he didn't trip over himself, he felt a sudden, strong grip on his leg, pulling him backwards. Landing on the hard concrete with a groan and turning himself to face his captor: Two dark, army clad figures awaited him. He shuffled away from them as fast as he could but couldn't get to his feet fast enough to avoid being dragged to by his feet towards the bathroom. His screams echoing off the walls, and hands burning from friction against the cement floor at his attempts to escape their grasp.

He couldn't believe what was happening, he thought he was free from Hydra. 

Free from these corridors. 

Free from the chair.

He felt his nails fruitlessly catching on the small ridges of the cement floor as he was mercilessly dragged. The hallway enclosed in darkness behind him and the bathroom light ahead of him, serving as a beacon of pain and suffering. 

He was left on the bathroom floor, shaking and crying, accentuated by the sound of the slamming of a steel door. His teary eyes searched for the figures but found none. Instead, his eyes landed on the dull gleam of the worn metal frame in his bathtub, tinged with small droplets of blood, smoothed down edges, and strained leather straps.

If he wasn't sobbing before, he was now. He felt so trapped, his heart beating out of his chest; his lungs made of tin, unable to expand.

His shaking frame was folded on the floor by the bathroom door. A few moments of silence flooded by the drops of his sink tap and his attempts to catch his breath. 

Abruptly, a handful of his hair was grabbed, his body dragged to the chair as he let out seethes of pain and cries. 

He was held down in the chair as he was strapped in by faceless, dark army figures. Soft whispers and murmurs of pleas for mercy and forgiveness settled around him, originating from every vent and faucet in his bathroom, nestled their way to his ears. 

They grew louder and droned out the sound of leather going through buckles and the mechanical "wrrrrr" of the head plates assembling towards the top of the chair. 

He struggled and screamed, but it was no use. 

Trapped in the chair, no chance of escape; Limited by his mind and not his body. 

He anxiously waited and dreaded for the excruciating pain of electricity to course through his body, to hear the words Hydra spent so much time and care to drill into his mind.

But both never came.

He awoke with a startle, eyes wide, body and blanket soaked with sweat, lungs gasping for breath. 

His window open, letting in his neighbors everyday routine squeeze into his apartment. 

The TV on a low volume, playing auctions for nic-nacs and heirlooms people didn't find use for. All drowned out by his racing thoughts and attempts at breathing.

The blanket pooled around his waist as he shifted to lean against the wall, closing his eyes and trying to focus on his breathing. 

He needed his hair gone. 

Like a wounded animal, he made his way to the bathroom with shaky breaths and uneasy strides. He flipped the bathroom light on, feverishly opening and closing drawers to find what he needed most.

A pair of scissors.

A raspy sigh left his lips as his hands met the plastic frame of the twin bladed tool.

His eyes shifted from his reflection to his hold on the scissors. 

Carefully, he brought his metal hand to his hair, extending one of his many locks of hair.

His eyes drifted from the lock of hair to the metal blades that almost fully encased it. 

Snip.

He watched as the lock frayed till it was severed completely, feeling the freed lock in his hand and watching it fall to the counter.

A sigh of relief left his lips as tears pricked his eyes as he met his reflection in the mirror. 

Snip.

Snip.

Snip. 

His tears were flowing fully down his cheeks as almost the entirety of his left side was covered in frayed, unevenly cut hair. 

He gingerly ran his flesh hand along his head, relishing in the short tufts of hair, and began repeating the same frenzied cutting on the other side of his head, and towards the back

If the tears weren’t flowing before, they were now. 

He placed the scissors onto the hair ridden counter with a clang, keeping his relieved gaze on himself, feeling his chest wrack with sobs, body slowly crumbling against the sink and to the floor.

He had never felt such relief in his life. 

His hands ran over the chopped hair, savoring the uneven patched of hair, his head laying back to rest against the wood cabinet below his sink,  eyes fluttering shut.

Muffled knocks softly rose his mind from the depths of sleep. 

He let his eyes adjust to the bathroom light, feeling his neck ache from how he slept against the drawers of the cabinet. 

Sam. 

He rose up to his feet with a groan, trudging to his front door.

His front door opened with a click.

“Hey, man-woah.”

He rose his eyes to meet Sam’s wide ones, giving him a small smile, “Hi, Sam.”

Sam swallowed.

“Late night hack job, huh?”

He gave Sam a tight-lipped smile, nodding. 

Sam’s lip quirked. 

“I, um, I made something for you if you’d like to try it.”

Sam watched as he rubbed the back of his neck with his flesh hand.

He moved from the door, leaving it open for Sam to come in.

Sam carefully stepped into his apartment, taking in the rumple of blankets on the livingroom floor. 

“It’s chicken tikka masala, my therapist recommended it.”

Sam took the plastic container he held out for him.

“Thanks for this…We should go get you a haircut. You can’t be walking around Brooklyn looking like you had a blender cut your hair.”

His lip quirked, nodding.

After a few minutes, he met him back at the front door in jeans, a t-shirt, and his bomber jacket, and glove.

“Ready to go?”

He wordlessly nodded, closing, and locking the door behind them. 

—

“Alright, what do you think?” 

The hairdresser adjusted his chair so he could see himself fully in the mirror. 

He could feel his eyes glaze over.

His previously poorly chopped locks were no where to be found, replaced by almost buzzed cut hair with a bit of length towards the top. Barely enough for anyone to get a good grip in.

“It’s perfect, thank you Melissa,” he muttered to the woman that gave him a kind smile in return. 

He tried to hand the man at the cashier station some cash, but Sam interjected with his card.

He looked at Sam with slight bewilderment.

“You’ll cover me next time.”

His lip quirked, as Sam nudged his shoulder as they made their way to the exit.

He stopped in front of a window for a store on the way back to his apartment, seeing his reflection in the storefront.

And for once, he didn’t have a deeprooted distaste or fear of what he saw. 

It almost made him cry.

He needed this.

His long hair gone. The last remnant of his time in Siberia, of the shackles that held his mind down under water like an anchor, gone. 

Out of sight. Out of mind.

Sam stopped a few paces ahead of him.

“You wanna stop in?”

Sam’s voice broke him from his trance.

He gave Sam a small smile.

“No, just taking it all in.”

Sam gave him a comforting smile as he caught up with him.

They continued on to his apartment to give Sam some of his chicken tikka masala, running his hand through his hair periodically with a smile on his face. 

#bucky barnes #marvel mcu #bucky barnes angst #sam wilson #winter soldier #mcu fanfiction #mcu #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #james bucky buchanan barnes

[bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky]

Work From Home | Bucky Barnes x Reader

Hi, friends! Here's a fluffy, silly little thing!

If you like my stuff, throw me a reblog 🥰

Warnings: imposter syndrome, stupid jokes

-------------------------------

“Whatcha dooooin?” Bucky plopped down into a kitchen chair, bowl of cereal in hand. He noted your cold coffee, the way you scowled down at the stack of paper in front of you, the transfixed stare you wore. Either Fury had sent you some truly perplexing intel, or you weren’t pleased with your last month’s credit card statement.

“Buck, hey. Good morning, babe…” You dragged your eyes from the important documents, your need to see Bucky’s sleepy morning smile and messy hair taking priority. “When did you get up?”

Bucky shook his head, “Doll, I’ve been clanging around in the kitchen for like, twenty minutes. I even called out to you- you didn’t hear me?” He took a bite of his cereal and shot you a wink, knowing damn well that you’d been too engrossed in what lay before you.

Embarrassment warmed your cheeks. It was just like you to have tunnel vision when it came to work. And if Bucky hadn’t sat down in front of you just now, you wouldn’t have noticed he was awake until lunch.

“No… I’m sorry.” You threw Bucky a sheepish smile, “I was just really focused on this stuff Fury sent me. Some of it is… weird”.

Bucky cocked an eyebrow at you; to hear you call intel ‘weird’ instantly piqued his interest. Nothing about your life together was ‘normal’. He was the ex- Winter Soldier turned hero, and you, the special agent he’d fallen head over heels for. The two of you had seen a talking racoon from space, Thanos, and an event that eliminated half the universe’s population- what could be weirder? 

“This is a list of all the new players SWORD has picked up on recently,” you thumbed through the large stack of papers, “Fury wanted me to flag anything that seems like a threat”.

“Oh, I wanna help. Hit me!” Bucky sat up straight and took another bite of his cereal, ready to help you sort out the mess.

“Okay, um, there’s a young woman, Kate Bishop: expert martial artist and archer.” She seemed promising. The prospect of a strong young woman joining the team warmed your heart. Kate Bishop seemed to you like a promising young upstart, but your premature approval quickly soured. “Oh… she was once thought to be the Ronin. And her mom works with King Pin.”

Bucky fervently shook his head, “Her mom works with who? Yeah, no, absolutely not. I don’t trust her”. After everything that happened with the Hydra / SHIELD double agents, Bucky wasn’t interested in any possible gray area when it came to new team mates.

You scanned the rest of the page, landing on a particularly fun fact. “Okay, hear me out: Says here that she recently befriended Clint.”

“Ehh, I don’t love that”, Bucky sighed. “I mean, he was the real Ronin. How does that-”

“Hang on! Apparently, she gets on Clint’s nerves all the time. Like, drives him crazy”, you giggled.

“Oh… then in that case, it’s fine. She’s cool”.

Bucky couldn’t help but smile at the loud laugh you let loose. “I thought the same. But it also says that she actually helped take her mom down and saved a lot of people, too. But the Clint thing is what really sold me”.

Bucky shoveled more cereal into his mouth and gave you a thumbs up, signaling for you to keep going. He knew this wasn’t a game, and that a very real threat could lurk withing the pages in front of you- but he found himself smiling. He loved spending time with you, even if it was work related.

“Next is another young woman: Yelena Belova, former Black Widow assassin. Known associates include Red Guardian, General Dreykov, and…” Your mouth ran dry at the next name on the list, “Natasha Romanoff. Holy shit- she’s Nat’s adoptive sister”. 

Bucky gave her the immediate thumbs up. He knew just how hard Nat had worked to try and wipe her ledger clean, and trusted that Yelena was the same. His chest ached every time he thought about his friend Natasha- he never even got to say goodbye. Part of him actually hoped to meet Yelena on the off chance that she’d remind him of his lost friend, of the woman who’d helped him get his life back.

“I’m not worried about her,” Bucky shrugged, “What’s next?”

“Okay, um, apparently there was some kind of multiversal opening in New York City that let two other Peter Parkers into our world-”

“Oh, so now there’s three Peter Parkers? Nope. Red flag. I don’t like it.” Bucky gave you a double thumbs down, paired with a dramatic frown. 

“Oh my god, Buck”, you laughed, “you gotta get over this weird thing you have against Peter. He’s a kid!”

“He’s a little asshole, babe. I don’t like him- and I don’t want two more of him running around”. 

You held your hand up to Bucky, silencing him as you continued to read the file on Peter Two and Peter Three. “Okay, just hang on. It says here that the other two went back home already. They helped defeat some guys who came from their worlds- oh, it was that massive showdown at the Stature of Liberty! They took down some guys called Green Goblin, Electro, Sandman, The Lizard-”

“The Lizard? What kind of name is that for a villain?” Bucky scoffed and took another bite of his Cheerios, “Or was it just a big lizard? Like, Godzilla style?”

Your eyes scanned the page for a while before landing on the information Bucky was after. “Oh, ‘The Lizard’ is the alias of Dr. Curtis Connors, a formerly well-respected biologist previously employed by something called Oscorp. So… doctor turned lizard, I guess.”

Bucky shrugged, “alright, well, if the other Peter Parkers fucked off, then we’re good. Who’s next?”

Bucky watched you read over the next page, a puzzled expression pulling at your features. Your eyes reached the end of the text, only to shoot right back up to the top. This was something you’d never seen before, had never even heard of. 

“Next is… okay, it’s this guy- or, guys? I don’t know.” You looked up at Bucky and then back down at the page, “one is a ‘gift shoppist’ named Steven Grant from England, and the other, Marc Spector, is a mercenary from the US.”

Bucky waited for the other shoe to drop. He wasn’t sure what was so odd about these guys, or why someone who worked in a gift shop would grab SWORD’s attention. But a long moment passed without any elaboration on your end, and Bucky found himself needing answers. 

“Okay… so? What’s their deal? Are they a team of bad guys committing gift shop heists or something?” Bucky chuckled at his own stupid joke and dove back into his Cheerios.

“Um… no, not quite. It appears that they’re kind of… two pieces of one person? Like, sometimes Steven does things, but then doesn’t have any memory afterward.”

Bucky laughed with a mouth full of cereal, “huh, been there!”

You rolled your eyes at Bucky, “No, not like that. This isn’t a brainwashing situation. It says here that Steven is an alter of Marc.”

Bucky cocked his head to the side, “an alter?”

“Yeah…” you ran your eyes across the paragraphs of text a few more times before fully understanding. “Ohhhh. Marc has Dissociative Identity Disorder.” You clocked the uncertainty in Bucky’s eyes, the need for more information. “It’s like Steven is living in Marc’s head; Marc created Steven when he was young as a way to cope with the guilt of his brother dying”.

“Shit. Well, that’s- wait, why is he in SWORD’s file? Doesn’t sound to me like he poses even a whisper of a threat”.

You slapped your palm against your forehead with a satisfying smack, “oh, duh, maybe I should tell you the important part- the part that really tripped me up.”

“Let’s hear it, doll.” Bucky rubbed his palms together in preparation for some wild shit, but never could have expected what you said next.

“Marc is an avatar for the Egyptian god of the moon, Khonshu.”

Bucky stared at you with a blank expression, “I’m sorry, what?”

“It says here that Marc was on death’s door after he got shot on a job in Egypt, but Khonshu saved him by turning him into his avatar.” You glanced up at Bucky and then back down to the page, “um, apparently, he now ‘protects the travelers of the night, and brings vengeance to those who would do them harm’. Thoughts?” 

Bucky shrugged, “I don’t know. Sounds like a cool guy to me”.

You rolled your eyes at Bucky, “I mean, yeah, babe. He sounds cool, but do you think there’s a threat there?”

Bucky once again spoke with a mouthful of cereal, “Oh, right. Nah, I think it’s fine. I mean, he protects people, right? That’s his thing?”

Before today, you’d never even heard of Marc Spector or his Egyptian god friend Khonshu, and yet you found yourself tasked with deciding whether he posed a threat. “Um, yeah? I guess? I don’t know… why did I volunteer for this job? I don’t know anything about any of this”. 

You pushed the file containing its many mysteries as far down the table as it would go, hoping to banish the information from your brain. Sometimes, you hated how fast your mind moved. It often left you reeling, spinning in dizzy circles of information. Bucky watched as you slumped forward and grabbed for your coffee, but he couldn’t let you take a sip.

“We both know this is cold, doll. Let me get you a fresh one, okay? I’ll be right back”. He prepared your coffee just the way you liked, adding a sprinkle of cinnamon to the top. Bucky knew just how eager you were to please, how your hand always shot up first when Fury asked for a volunteer. Bucky loved the pride you took in your work, but hated the self-doubt that followed soon after.

He placed the coffee down in front of you and took the seat next to yours. His hands rested gently on either side of your face, locking your gaze on him. “Okay, listen to me. I know I’ve said this to you a hundred times before, but you’re not an imposter.” Before you could come up with a self-deprecating rebuttal, Bucky stopped you. “I know it feels like you don’t know what you’re doing, but everyone feels that way. Nobody knows what the fuck is going on, doll, especially in our line of work.”

“I don’t know, seems like everyone else on the team is an expert in this shit” you grumbled. Bucky was sweet, but his words couldn’t stop the parasite of self-doubt devouring your brain. You’d always felt like your best wasn’t good enough, like everyone else soared while you struggled to get off the ground. “It’s not self-doubt if it’s true, Buck”.

Bucky pulled you into his lap and held you close to his body- it was the only thing that could make you feel better when the negative self-talk crept in. Silencing it was damn near impossible, but if you couldn’t put it on mute, the comfort of Bucky’s embrace could at least lower the volume.

“You wouldn’t be on the team if you didn’t know what you’re doing, sweets. You’re smart, and you’re strong, and you work harder than anyone.” He tightened his grip on you just a bit, “You know exactly what you’re doing, but your mind is sabotaging you. It’s analysis paralysis, baby.”  

Without warning, Bucky shifted you from the comforting cradle of his arms and had your legs straddling his hips. His hands found your face, and his eyes drilled into yours. “Trust your gut! Without thinking- does this Marc-Spector-moon-guy seem like a threat? No thinking! Just answer!”

“No!” you shouted, the confidence returning to your voice. “I think he’s fine. And he’s basically two heroes in one, that’s a pretty good deal”. The smile finally returned to your face as the weight of your task melted from your shoulders. It felt good to side-step the second guessing and commit to what you knew deep down to be the truth. 

Your lips found Bucky’s in a perfect, gentle kiss full of admiration and gratitude. He knew you better than anyone, even better than you knew yourself. He understood the inner workings of your mind almost too well, as though he’d found a manual somewhere and read it cover to cover.

“Thanks, Buck. I know I get a little too intense sometimes, and I can’t stop thinking, and then I question everything, and it’s like this-”

Bucky silenced you with a kiss. “All I ever wanna do is help, doll. I got your back.” He pulled you close and ran a gentle hand through your hair, eliciting a contented sigh from your chest. “You should always trust your gut.”

Bucky didn’t know how right he was. It was a gut feeling that first told you he needed a friend- and another that pushed you to introduce yourself to him. You’d trusted yourself all those months ago when your friends and parents cautioned you against dating the ex- Winter Soldier. And listening to your gut when it told you that Bucky was special had been the easiest thing in the world. 

With a renewed sense of confidence, you reached for the file and threw it open, “You ready for round two, Buck?” 

He gave you a nod and pressed a kiss to your cheek, “let’s do this, baby”.

“Alright…" you sighed, "we gotta talk about Wanda”.

———————————

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