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#also i can’t believe i read this so late i’m sorry
yueebby · 17 days
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2 + 1 — gojo satoru
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synopsis. two times megumi thinks gojo is a lost cause and one time he approves of the white haired idiot
contents. fluff, lovesick!gojo, ooc, misogyny (from the clan heads), he is so pathetic for his wife (nauseating!), slight yandere behavior, violence, in megumi’s pov, not proofread eep
notes. can you tell i've been obsessed with the apothecary diaries? >< also how long has it been since i've posted a fic? anyways... enjoy!
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fushiguro megumi has always wondered how that blue eyed idiot managed to marry you. he must have resorted to underhanded tactics; or at least that's what the sea urchin suspects. though he's never voiced it, the question has bothered him since the day he first encountered the both of you.
nobara clicks her tongue. “this is borderline creepy.” her orange eyes are filled with nothing short of distaste.
“there’s more too,” megumi’s voice responded, carefully flipping the page. the delicate artifact in his hand is something that he should have not touched. perhaps he should have wrapped it with a talisman and destroyed it while he had the chance.
it was too late for that anyway, because not even a second later, gojo satoru bursts through the shoji doors of the classroom. 
with eyes blown wide as if they were caught committing a crime (they were), the first years who had pulled three seats up to a singular desk stare at him. satoru's eyes widen behind his blindfold as he catches sight of the object of their focus.
there lies in the middle of the wooden desk was the physics textbook that all first year jujutsu tech students were required to read. however, this wasn’t just any plain old textbook. it was gojo satoru’s former textbook. brimmed with doodles of their beloved [name] sensei and gojo himself when they were back in highschool.
any free space that was not filled with words were taken up by drawings of you inside of hearts and sometimes a depiction of a chibi version of the two of you.
a true testament to gojo satoru’s pining and devotion to you.
“sensei, we can explain–” yuji attempts to explain himself but gojo holds up a hand to silence the boy. 
unlike you, megumi finds it a lot more challenging to read the white haired sorcerer’s expression with the blindfold on. he wonders if his punishment will be a painful beating disguised as a sparring session (megumi will run to you, who will scare gojo into backing down). you have that effect on him.
it seems like the heavens have answered megumi’s prayers because gojo satoru doesn’t seem to harbor any anger at his shocking revelation.
“i can’t believe you guys found this old thing.” satoru dismisses his students’ personal space by leaning closely to observe the pages. the black haired boy makes a noise of disapproval, but was quickly cut off by his benefactor. “megumi, be grateful that i’m in a good mood today.” he doesn’t elaborate the ominous message, rather choosing to hum happily as he studies his own drawings.
megumi is smart enough to keep his mouth shut. 
“i never took you to be the pathetic type,” kugisaki continues to flip through the pages of the textbook. yuji nods furiously, as if to agree to her observation.
“you seriously never noticed?” megumi mutters under his breath.
gojo places a strong hand on megumi’s back, a languid smile on his face, “it was only natural, considering the lengths i had to go through to win her over.” he ignores the way megumi gasps for air.
“seriously?” itadori asks in disbelief.
“seriously.” gojo confirms wholeheartedly.
megumi shudders, recollecting memories of times before gojo tied you down for good.
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2009
“sorry i’m late!” gojo bursts through the dingy apartment door with a convenience store bag in his arm. he was breathing heavily, an indication that he had run to the apartment. an uninterested seven year old megumi doesn’t bother leaving his place on the couch to greet his benefactor.
“they’re in the kitchen,” he says in his monotone voice, eyes never leaving the book that you had just gifted him.
“they?” gojo walks up to megumi to ruffle his hair aggressively. he receives a hiss in return.
“tsumiki and [name]?” the black haired kid says it like it was obvious. his sentence is accompanied with an eyeroll.
at the mention of your name, gojo immediately perks up. megumi imagines that if he were a cat, his ears would be swiveling and his nose twitching, attuned to pick up any trace of your presence. he had just learned that from the nonfiction book in his lap. 
“[name]?! here? now?” gojo’s eyebrows are raised all the way to his forehead. the white haired sorcerer immediately started fixing his uniform and hair. megumi thinks it was comical. he was a lost cause.
the snarky look on his face is quickly wiped off when he sees gojo leaning down, mouth wide open.
“oi brat, check my breath,” gojo opens his mouth wide for megumi to check. the black haired kid shrivels up into the couch the further gojo leans down. megumi considers summoning his newly discovered jujutsu technique, hoping to avoid his fate.
“—toru? what are you doing?” your voice, like a divine intervention, stops gojo from sending megumi to the depths of despair. a sigh of relief escapes his lips.
now it was his turn to watch gojo squirm. the older male’s face contorts to an awkward smile and all of a sudden gojo is reduced to nothing but a mess.
“don’t worry about it darling!” gojo slowly turns around to face you. “agh—?!”
megumi has to peek around satoru’s big frame to see what elicited such a response from the man.
he’s met with a wave of underwhelming familiarity. there you stand, clad in a frilly apron with a wooden spoon in hand, the essence of domesticity incarnate. the soft glow of the warm kitchen lights dances around you, casting a warm aura that seems to envelop the room.
“welcome home, satoru.” you give him your signature closed eye smile. “i mean, you probably don’t consider it your home but—“
you’re cut off by satoru banging his head on the nearest wall repeatedly. he’s muttering something under his breath that you don’t hear.
to his dismay, megumi's keen ears catch every syllable. satoru's voice, though hushed, carries a hint of longing, "what an angel," he whispers, his words laced with adoration. "just marry me already."
unamused, he watches while you try to desperately pry gojo from his strange outburst.
a lost cause indeed.
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2009
in that very year, megumi learns that gojo’s efforts to win your affection had yielded no progress. it had become increasingly apparent that his frequent visits to megumi and tsumiki's humble home were motivated to immerse himself in the semblance of domesticity that your presence offered. megumi almost pitied the man, if it wasn’t for the fact that he knew you deserve someone more sensible.
me
[name]
[nameeeee]
i’m dying.
and it’s your fault t^t
[name] ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
excuse me?
me
i’ll have you know that i worked the hardest that i have ever worked to finish all of my paperwork so i could see you tonight… only to find out from megumi that you’re on a date?!!?
i feel like my chest is caving in. 
i’m going to throw up.
[name] ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
oh this is what you’re interrupting my date for?
me
i’m going to be sick.
please tell me, is he hotter than me? wealthier? funnier?
megumi quickly looks away from gojo’s phone screen when the white haired male slams it shut and mutters under his breath a couple of curses. he’s pretty sure half of them were death threats.  honestly, couldn't you have attracted someone with more dignity?
“change of plans,” gojo claps his hands together. “movie night’s off.”
“what?” megumi protests, confusion etched in his features.
“our beloved [name] is getting swept off of her feet. you wouldn’t want that to happen, right?” gojo continues, his tone light but his gaze sharp as it bores into megumi's soul. something unpleasant coils in the pit of his stomach.
megumi feels a chill run down his spine, his mind racing with the implications of gojo's words. if you choose to date this new guy, he realizes, you won't need him or gojo anymore. and that thought terrifies him. it pains megumi to feed into gojo's delusions.
but he can’t let this unnamed suitor steal you away.
a wolfish grin makes its way to gojo’s mouth when he realizes that he’s won.
“what's the plan?”
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2016
it was only years later that megumi had seen the true monster that lurks inside of gojo satoru. 
on a hot summer evening, amidst a gathering of esteemed clan heads, he and satoru found themselves in a traditional chamber. while the finer details of the meeting escape his memory, the image of the room that altered his perception of gojo satoru is etched in his mind indefinitely. the wooden walls, adorned with subtle yet elegant designs, speak volumes about the room’s significance as a venue for the most influential members of jujutsu society.
throughout the meeting, he finds himself driving in and out of focus, content to let his mentor represent the gojo clan. however, his attention is abruptly seized by a particular remark that cuts through the haze of his thoughts.
“how’s that whore of yours, gojo?” a clan head jeered, clearly drunk on the sake that was constantly refilled by the servant on the side. his flushed complexion is scarcely discernible thanks to the dim glow emanating from the few lanterns scattered around the room. 
there was only one person he could have been referring to: you. underneath the wooden table, his fingers tightened painfully into fists. pretentious bastards, megumi thinks.
another geezer rubbed his beard thoughtfully, “she has a nice body. perfect to be a concubine, but i would marry a more submissive woman.”
megumi's gaze stealthily darts towards gojo, seated beside him.
he’s startled to find the white-haired man wears a wide grin that belies a hidden truth. unseen by the elders before them, lurking beneath gojo's outward expression, is a manic gleam in his eyes—a revelation that sends a shiver down megumi's spine.
“i’d hold my tongue if i were you.” gojo satoru’s voice was dripping with venom. he sounded downright murderous.
"i'm right, am i not? we can share her if you'd like- name the price." the drunkard continues loudly.
megumi senses an instinctive wave of primal dread washing over him, compelling him with an urgent, almost instinctual need to flee or die.
before he can move a muscle, the flames that surround the room flicker before extinguishing in succession by an unknown force. the metallic stench of blood fills the air and all he can hear is the sound of flesh mutilating and bones crushing accompanied by the painful shouts of the men that once sat in front of him. he doesn’t have to see it with his own eyes to be able to sense gojo’s strong curse residue that suffocates the room.
“stand up megumi. we’re leaving.” his voice carries a feral edge, leaving no room for objection.
on their way out of the compound, the two don’t utter a word at what had just transpired. 
megumi's gaze remains fixed on the ground beneath his feet, the images of the recent events swirling in his mind, leaving him unsettled and shaken. with each step, he grapples with the unsettling realization that beneath gojo satoru's charismatic facade lies a darker, more sinister nature.
the strongest sorcerer of today, riled up by the mere mention of your name.
megumi supposes he doesn’t feel much remorse for those clan heads anyway. he was never the type to mourn over people he didn’t know dying. especially not people who he knew would live on to do evil. it doesn’t help that they were blatantly disrespecting you. perhaps he could sympathize with the monster inside of gojo.
oblivious to the turmoil that stirs inside of megumi, gojo starts to smile.
“i know what you’re going to say,” gojo hums happily. “gojo sensei, you’re so cool! i approve of you marrying my beloved [name]! kyaa~’” he makes a pathetic attempt to imitate megumi. 
the black haired boy grunts. he was going to say something along the lines of his approval for his benefactor, but all desires of flattering the white haired sorcerer disappeared.
gojo watches the black haired boy intently before tutting.
“not that it matters.” megumi is startled to hear how his voice dropped an octave. “i was always going to marry [name] and i’ll be damned to let anyone stop me.” 
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2018 – present day
after satiating his students with tales from his pining days, your husband comes home often clingier than normal (is that even possible?). the moment satoru enters your home, his arms envelop you, caging you in his hold.
you can't help but giggle as his hair brushes against the side of your neck, his embrace pulling you in close, as if he's inhaling your presence.  his muscles flex when you attempt to slip away, keeping you in his tight embrace.
“sato– what is going on?!” 
“is it a crime to show my wife some love?” he kisses your neck. when his flurry of kisses stop, he resorts to absorbing all of your features with those cerulean eyes of his.
you don’t bother pushing him away again, choosing to thread your fingers through his soft hair. even after all these years, you will never not feel the effect of satoru’s eyes on you.
“i was telling my first years about you today,” he says softly.
you smile, “is that so?”
he pushes his nose into your neck again, nodding.
“you’re so good to them,” you whisper. despite the initial shock behind satoru choosing to pursue education, you’re extremely proud of how far he’s come.
“mhm,” satoru inhales. “i’d be good to our little ones too.” one of his hands sneak to your stomach.
you delicately guide his face away from your form, your fingers tenderly urging him to meet your gaze. "is there something you want to tell me?" you inquire softly, your eyes reflecting the warmth of your affection.
satoru's smirk deepens, a glint of mischief dancing in his eyes. "perhaps," he murmurs, his touch light as he guides you towards the bedroom. without hesitation, you yield to his lead, eager at his sudden intimate gesture.
from outside your home, three first year students stand, waiting for their sensei’s cue to enter.
“do you think he’s forgotten about us?” yuji furrows his eyebrows, hands full of grocery bags that were going to be prepared for dinner.
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extra notes. had the idea of gojo and megumi crashing your date in my drafts for so long. maybe ill elaborate on it if the ppl want to see :,)
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dxxdhood · 30 days
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show off
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pairing: dick grayson x gn!reader
summary: after dick tries his hardest to get your attention, you finally give it to him.
tags: smut (18+), sub!dick grayson, dom!reader, teasing, dirty talk, praise kink, fingering (m receiving), oral (m receiving), light bondage, hair pulling, body worship
wc: 2.2k
a/n: hey! sorry for disappearing! i don't have an ao3-author-almost-dying-excuse but i hope this fic makes up for it!
What made Dick Grayson so hot was that he knew he was hot. He was always walking around with an annoying amount of confidence that he managed to pull off anyway. Blame it on him being the poster child for a Good Samaritan or his relentless integrity– the guy was impossible to hate no matter how big his head got.
Luckily, you’ve lucked out as his official, number one supporter. Ever since becoming partners, you’ve gotten to spend more little moments together, even when life would ordinarily tear you apart. And of course it’s great! Dick’s arms around you as you try to catch up on some reading in the morning, forehead kisses even as you’re running out the door late for work– everything’s been adorable. But lately, you can’t shake the feeling that something’s off. 
Dick’s been stressed out, you can tell it in the set of his shoulders even if he’s been trying to hide it. The thing was, you’ve been super busy lately. Work and personal stuff kept piling up, and although you’re ashamed of it, you’ve ended up prioritizing other things instead of your relationship.
You told Dick that you were swamped with work and – as usual – he was nothing but understanding. But if dating Dick has taught you anything, it’s that he believes that being understanding means completely ignoring all his own wants. It’s very endearing, but you also feel like a giant asshole, especially as things finally start clearing up and he still keeps his distance.
Or well, at least it seems like he’s trying to keep his distance. That doesn’t explain him showing off for you.
Because that’s what he’s been doing! It started off when you came back from work one night to Dick, on his day off from patrols, cooking you an entire candlelit dinner. He was wearing a black button up with the top two buttons undone and the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. His hair was also loose, messy like he’d just been on a run. Oh, and he must not have shaved that morning, because he has the slightest amount of stubble– he was trying to kill you was what he was doing. 
Okay, he may have had plausible deniability during that night’s dinner, but that time you walked in on him working out was not subtle. As soon as you walked into the living room he switched to doing squats, the thin material of his gym shorts straining against his muscled thighs. After a couple seconds of you watching in awe, he had the nerve to turn around and smile at you all innocently, asking you how your day went. 
And then there was what happened yesterday. Once again you walk into your living room (clearly a trigger for these events) and you’re met with Dick on the couch, shirtless, wearing only gray sweatpants as he snores softly. His head was leaning against his shoulder at an uncomfortable angle, so you grab a small pillow and maneuver it under his neck to stop him from getting sore. Even asleep, you feel how strong he is as your hands trace the outline of his neck and shoulder muscles. You can spot so many moles littering his arms and chest. It’s a shame they’re usually covered.
It’s not like Dick doesn’t usually lounge around the house shirtless, but wearing nothing – and you’re sure it’s really nothing – but gray sweatpants all stretched out on the couch? At this point he’s not asking for you to do something, he’s begging for it.
So, today you text him to “get ready for a surprise tonight!” while he’s out on patrol. He responds back something like “????😍🥳😘!!!!!” while you start getting ready. 
“Hey, I’m home!” he calls as he walks through your front door. “So what’s this big surprise I’ve been hearing about?”
“Welcome back,” you say, rushing from your bedroom to give him a kiss. He’s ready to break it off almost instantly, but you hold on for longer, placing your hands on his shoulders. Dick muffles a sound of surprise but he doesn’t pull away. After a second of not knowing what to do with his hands, he rests them around your waist and melts into the kiss.
You eventually pull back and Dick starts talking again, “Well, that was a nice surprise! Guess I’ll just–”
“Shut up!” You shout through a giggle. “Just wait a second, it’s in here.”
You grab his hand and lead him to your bedroom, which you’ve lit with scented candles. Also – and this may have been going a little far – you bought roses to adorn your bedside table (and to sprinkle petals on your bed, of course). On top of the freshly washed sheets, through the dim lighting, Dick spots some suspiciously red rope. 
“Alright, I mean it this time, this is a nice surprise,” he says as he tries to fight against a smile. “But are you sure you’re okay to do this tonight? I don’t wanna worry you, and if you don’t have the time for–”
You grab both of his hands and pull him down so you’re both sitting on the side of the bed.
“Dick… It’s not my fault I’ve been busy lately, and I know that,” you take a deep breath. “But I’m so sorry I haven’t been spending enough time with you. I should’ve tried harder, you know, I should’ve done what you always do– find a way to pull through it.”
He raises one of his hands from where yours were covering his and is about to protest before you stop him, “Please don’t defend me, just let me say I’m an asshole for once.”
He exhales and relaxes back, placing his hands in yours again.
“So, let me make it up to you?” you ask, almost timidly in comparison to how solid the rest of your apology went.
As a response, Dick leans forward and hugs you so tight you think you may have crushed ribs (and you know Dick definitely has the strength to do it). 
“Of course I’m not going to say no to that,” he chuckles, breaking the hug so he can stand up and start uncoiling the rope.
“Hold on,” you say as you come up behind him and place a hand on his shoulder. He turns his head toward you, confusion clear on his face. “I was thinking that tonight I’d do the tying.”
And you’re infinitely grateful that Dick turned around, because now you can see his cute raised eyebrows and the sweet way he tries to look towards the floor. He lets out a small cough and politely hands you the rope.
“Sounds- sounds good.”
“Great!” you nestle a hand in his tousled hair and scratch at the back of his scalp. “Go take a shower, alright? When you’re back, I’ll be here and we’ll get started, okay?”
He nods, and you give a gentle tug of his hair, “Speak, baby.”
“Right, yeah! Good! It sounds really good,” He manages, walking to the bathroom quickly and wasting no time to get the shower started.
You giggle as you watch him exit. Dick was usually so suave and self-assured, it always threw you to see how nervous he got when he was under your thumb. 
Preparing the last few things you needed, you lay on the bed, resting your head on your bent arm to watch Dick as he steps out of the bathroom. He didn’t even bother bringing a towel out with him, and you can see the drops of water run down his chest and abs before reaching his cock. 
You give him less of a smirk and more of a fond smile as you walk up to him, reaching to cup the back of his neck and bring his face close to yours.
“Even now, when I already told you you’re going to get what you want, you’re still showing off for me.”
“What?” He shakes his head, eyes gleaming.
“Lay down for me, okay? You say, and even though he wants to hear you finish, he follows immediately.
Rope in hand, you crawl on the bed so you’re straddling him. The sight of him, all lean muscles and thick thighs, laid out for you makes your face heat up. You take a deep breath as you gesture for him to move his hands up, and you tie him to the headboard.
“You’ve been craving my attention so badly, haven’t you? Just wanted me to drop what I was doing and show you how much I love you?”
“What, no, I–”
You move your hands from his tied up wrists to grip his jaw so he faces you, “Don’t keep anything from me now. Just tell me the truth, I want to hear it.”
After fighting past a blush, Dick lets out a shuddering breath, “Yes.”
“Yes, what?”
“I– I wanted you to notice me.”
“How couldn’t I, baby?” You say as you move down his body, nipping at his neck and the strong muscles of his shoulders. “You always look so sexy, you always want me to look.”
You lick at one of his nipples and you can feel his body twitch.
“You know you’re so handsome, right? You’re so hot, sometimes I think about you at work and get so distracted I can’t get anything done.”
He lets out a sigh as you scratch your nails down his side, leaving lines of red before you grip at his raised biceps.
“You’re so kind, too,” You whisper before kissing him deeply, biting at his bottom lip. Your other hand leaves to get the lube and begins spreading some around his hole. Dick’s breathing grows more and more uneven, but you kiss along his jaw and let him relax before you slip your finger in.
He squirms a bit at first, and you run your other hand through his hair to comfort him as you prep him using your finger. 
“You’re always so good, even when you don’t have to be– even when you have no reason to be. You see someone hurt, alone, and you help them– like it’s the most obvious thing to do.” You add another finger and Dick bites his lip at the stretch, trying not to breathe too heavily.
He starts gasping at every little thrust, sweat glistening at his brow and you angle your hand to reach that spot every time. Dick lets out a long groan, dipping his head to his collarbone before you pull him back up to look you in the eyes..
“You’re incredible, Dick. Such a gorgeous person inside and out.”
“Babe!” he cries, hiding his face in the crook between his neck and shoulder, and you gently cup his face to coax him out of it.
“It’s true, sweetheart, and you don’t get to hear it enough. You’re so good, you’re my good boy.”
He moans at that, higher than usual and you add another finger while he’s distracted. His voice breaks in the middle of the sound, and you can feel his chest working double time to try and keep up with your thrusts.
“Shit– shit, holy shit!” He cries, and you card your hand through his hair one last time before you run it down the side of his neck and across his chest. You never stop your hand movements as you kiss down the column of his neck and his pecs, following each spot your hand touches with your mouth.
You lick down his abs and Dick whines, trying to hide his face again while also keeping one eye focused on you, not wanting to miss a second of what you’re doing to him. The hand tracing down his body reaches his hard cock, and you run a finger across the length of it, rubbing in the bead of precum.
You take a second to make sure you’re keeping your thrusts consistent with your fingers before you take his entire length in your mouth. Dick rocks his entire body back and forth, trying to stay calm for you, and you breathe through your nose for a moment, letting him rest on your tongue as you get ready to move.
You slide on his cock at the same time your fingers hit his prostate, trying your best to line up the two so his tip hits the back of your throat when your fingers thrust against him. Clearly, it’s working, because Dick moves constantly, blinking back tears or trying in vain to hold back sounds as you work him even quicker.
His breathing becomes labored, so you move a hand to work his cock as you slide up his body, kissing him and sliding your tongue in his mouth. As soon as he tastes himself on you, you can feel the vibrations of a moan. His cum coats your hand as you work him through his orgasm.
Once you break your mouth away from his, his voice comes out all airy, “Oh my God, Fuck! Where were you hiding all of that?”
“The mouth?” You choke out, talking about how you just sucked him off, “Or the… mouth?” You mean the dirty talk.
“The–” He shakes his head, having trouble with the motion while still being tied up. “Yeah!”
The two of you giggle as you untie him, and you both cuddle for a while before hopping in the bath. 
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jakeshands · 1 year
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stars will fall
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pairing, park sunghoon x fem! reader
synopsis, you’ve had a crush on park sunghoon for the longest time. all you’ve ever wanted was sunghoon to notice you, or at least pick you out of the dozen other girls throwing themselves at his feet. you can’t believe it takes a zombie apocalypse for him to notice you.
genre, zombie apocalypse au, aouad au, strangers (?) to lovers, mutual pining to lovers
warnings, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, swearing, lots of death, minor character death, open/ambiguous ending, reader gets cut with a knife, lots of mentions of blood, stabbing, mentions of guns.
word count, 16.4k
author’s note, heavily inspired by all of us are dead, like there might be some similiar scenes from aouad in this fic😨 please enjoy reading this it was A Lot To Write. i also watched a the last of us gameplay while writing this…so theres some tlou influence in this fic as well. maybe i’ll write a tlou au who knows?! also this fic is heavily unedited, pls mind my mistakes Lol! this fic is for daphne, ily the hoonerz to my jake🫶🫶
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Your life is like a wave brushing against the shoreline. It’s full of routine. It’s full of gentle actions and gentle words. It’s nothing out of the ordinary. Your life isn’t remarkable; you spend your days at school and in your apartment with your mother. You spend nights eating at the chicken restaurant your friend’s parents own. You study until you pass out. Rinse and repeat.
Your life is like a steady wave brushing against the shoreline. It’s a natural occurrence. You stay in the routine you’ve known your whole life. Wake up, take a shower, have breakfast with your mom, walk with Seeun to school, sit next to Kim Sunoo and listen in on his conversations hoping you’ll hear a word about Park Sunghoon, you sit with Seeun in the cafeteria at lunch and watch Park Sunghoon, you go back to class. After school you walk home with Seeun, study at the chicken restaurant her parents own, go to the karaoke booth next door for an hour, walk back to your apartment with Seeun, and study until you pass out. Rinse and repeat.
Today is nothing out of the ordinary. You kiss your mother goodbye and wait outside your apartment for Seeun. The door next to you swings open and Yoon Seeun steps out, a white ribbon tying her hair back. “Y/N!” Seeun cheers, reaching for your hand. “Sorry I’m late. Are you ready to go? I think we’ll have enough time to make it before they start handing out detention slips.”
You hum. “You better wish for that, Seeun. We’ve cut it close before, but never this close. C’mon, I want to at least get to school and have a few seconds to stare at Sunghoon from afar.”
Seeun giggles and you ignore her. You know what Seeun thinks of your crush, she thinks you should just confess your feelings to Sunghoon. “There’s no harm, Y/N!” Seeun’s always told you, but she just doesn’t get it. There’s so much to lose when it comes to facing someone like Park Sunghoon who was built by the hands of Earth.
Park Sunghoon is a widely-known name in the province. He’s an up-and-coming figure skater, his visuals are akin to the K-pop idols you see at university festivals, his body proportions are those of a model’s. His personality, well, that’s a part of the mystery called Park Sunghoon. His name may be widely spoken about, but no one has helpful information about Park Sunghoon. If he’s ever talked about, it’s either about his figure skating career, his looks, or his friends. Sunghoon’s never spoken to anyone outside of his family and close friends as far as you’re aware. You’ve been going to the same school as Sunghoon ever since you could remember and he’s always hung out with the same six boys.
Your crush on Sunghoon started when you were fourteen. Puberty was a crazy time for you. The girls and boys were maturing and separating into groups, it wasn’t the same anymore. You stuck with Seeun, of course, because she was the only friend you ever made. You remember the day you started liking Sunghoon with clarity. It was after school, you were at Seeun’s chicken restaurant and Sunghoon entered. He was laughing with his friends over something, and you swear you’ve never seen anyone laugh prettier than Sunghoon. It was like time had slowed as you watched Sunghoon laugh. It was then, you realized you wanted to see Park Sunghoon laugh for the rest of your life.
Too bad the world wasn’t on your side and as years passed, Sunghoon became more withdrawn and seeing him laugh became something of the past. Now, you rarely ever saw Sunghoon. The only times you were given chances to see Sunghoon was before school started and at lunchtime. You took those moments and cherished them.
You thought this year would change everything; you were assigned to sit beside Kim Sunoo, one of Park Sunghoon’s closest friends. But most of the year has passed and you haven’t said anything more than four sentences to Kim Sunoo. Darn you and your social awkwardness. Soon you’ll have to resign and admit the truth; you’re nothing more than another one of Park Sunghoon’s fangirls.
You and Seeun rush across the street and through the school’s gates hand-in-hand. Only a few minutes left until school starts and detention slips are handed out. Breathing heavily as you slow down into a walk, you glare at Seeun. “That was extremely close, See.”
Seeun rolls her eyes. “Whatever, Y/N. Let’s go find your loverboy.”
You did not get to see your loverboy that morning. You slouch in your seat that morning, pouting lightly as you drew random stars all over your textbook. You’ll always have lunchtime to stare at Sunghoon from afar and wonder what it would be like to sit next to him and listen to him laugh. Beside you, Sunoo stares out the window, sunlight washing across his face. You’ve always thought Sunoo was handsome. His visuals are sharp and fox-like, it’s no wonder he’s the most admired boy on campus behind Park Sunghoon. (He’s often referred to as the Handsome Oppa of your class.)
A chair scrapes back drawing your attention away from Sunoo. Kang Suyeon stands, her hands resting against the desk in front of her. Suyeon’s face was extremely pale and sweat dripped down the side of her face. “Excuse me, could I please go --” Suyeon couldn’t even finish her sentence because she faints and panic spreads through the classroom.
“Kim Sunoo! Kim Y/N!” The teacher gestures for you to help her lift Suyeon up. “Let’s go to the nurse’s office.” The teacher says after both of Suyeon’s arms are wrapped around your and Sunoo’s shoulders. Together, you and Sunoo struggle under Suyeon’s weight to take the fainted girl to the nurse’s office.
“Poor Suyeon,” Sunoo says gently, his eyes darting over to you, “I hope she’s okay.”
You nod slightly in response. “Me too.”
Entering the nurse’s office you freeze up -- why is Sunghoon here?
“Y/N?” Sunoo asks, looking at you questioningly. A blush spreads over your face and you stumble forward, placing Suyeon on the bed next to where another student lies, face also pale and sweating. Park Sunghoon and Sim Jaeyun stand next to the boy watching as Nurse Jeon checks whatever needs to be checked.
One look at Suyeon and Nurse Jeon glances at your teacher. “Another one?”
“What do you mean, Sooyoung?”
Nurse Jeon drags your teacher out of the office leaving you alone with Sunoo, Jaeyun, Sunghoon, and two unconscious students. Afraid to glance around the room, your eyes never leave Suyeon. Her chest rises and falls at a rapid rate, and she’s sweating more than she was in the classroom. You stare at her hands, the area around her cuticles was bleeding pretty badly. Suyeon must’ve been picking at her skin before she fainted.
“Did she also faint, Sunoo?” Jaeyun asks. “Joon also fainted. Fell right out of his seat.”
Sunoo nods. “Suyeon stood up to ask the teacher something, but fainted halfway through her sentence,” Sunoo glances at the doorway of the office and then leans across the bed Suyeon lay on, lowering his voice. “I heard a rumor a couple of days ago. Apparently, Suyeon’s pregnant.” Sunoo looks back at Suyeon, “that’s probably why she fainted.”
It’s silent for a few moments before Sunghoon snorts. “You don’t believe that bullshit rumor do you, Sunoo?”
“Hey!”
You hear a chuckle. Looking up, you find Sunghoon grinning as his shoulders move. He was laughing and your insides curl up. You’re finally hearing the laugh you’ve been dying to hear for years.
“You’ll be eating your words soon, Sunghoon,” Sunoo scowls. “Nurse Jeon will walk back in and check Suyeonie and say she’s pregnant. You’ll owe me ten thousand won.”
Sunghoon laughs again. You really like his laugh.
Suyeon jolts awake suddenly, shattering apart the joyful mood in the room as everyone jumps back. “Suyeon --” your voice stops sharply when Suyeon grips your wrist, her fingernails digging into your skin and you cry out. You use your other hand to try and pry off Suyeon’s hands but to no avail.
Another hand appears and helps pry off Suyeon’s hand. “Jaeyun,” Sunghoon calls out, “hold her down. You too, Sunoo.” He calls for nurse Jeon after, taking your wrist into his hand as blood trails down from where Suyeon’s nails had dug into your skin and drops onto the white bedsheet. His hand is warm. “You’re hurt.” His eyes dig into yours. You feel uncomfortable beneath Sunghoon’s gaze because it doesn’t hold the same warmth that was there when he talked to Sunoo.
“Right,” you say, your voice shaking.
Sunghoon leads you over to a chair as nurse Jeon subsides Suyeon with some sort of injection. Kneeling down in front of you, Sunghoon cleans and bandages up your wrist. Pressing lightly, he looks back up at you. “Replace the bandage with a new one tomorrow morning.”
“O-Okay.” You internally curse yourself. Why did you have to be so awkward around Sunghoon?
“Y/N,” Sunoo calls out, “it’s time for us to head back.”
Nodding your head, you scramble up out of your chair and step around Sunghoon. His touch burns your skin and your heart quickens. You pinch yourself. No. You weren’t dreaming but this certainly felt like a dream.
“Are you okay, Y/N? Suyeonie was gripping you really hard,” Sunoo asks, concern shining on his face.
You smile, your cheeks burning beneath his attention. “I’m okay Sunoo, thank you for asking.”
Sunoo beams. He really does remind you of the sun. “Seatmates care for each other!” Warmth floods your chest and your cheeks burn even more. Sunoo’s sincere words circle your mind even as you settle back down in your seat next to Sunoo.
—-
It was finally lunchtime. You watch Sunghoon from afar as he laughs with Lee Heeseung, throwing some food at the older boy. Beside you, Seeun admires the bandage Sunghoon placed on you. “Wow, this is like a relic, Y/N. I bet if you auction it off it could go for a high price. I don’t think anyone has ever been bandaged up by Sunghoon before.”
You huff and rip your wrist out of Seeun’s hands. “I forgot to say thank you to Sunghoon. I should probably go do that now because what if he thinks I’m impolite? Oh, I would never sleep at night if I knew he thought that.”
Seeun laughs. “Well, go on then, thank loverboy for bandaging you up. Gift him with a kiss while you’re at it.”
You scowl and take your eyes off Sunghoon. “Seeun, shut up.”
Seeun giggles and reaches out to pinch your cheeks. “Hey! It’s just a suggestion! And I didn’t mean on the lips, you crazy girl! The cheek would do just fine.”
You ignore Seeun and turn back around to stare at Sunghoon, only to find him gone. The table where he sits with his friends is abandoned and you slump, looking back at Seeun. “I missed my chance. Now he’s going to think I’m impolite for the rest of his life.”
Seeun laughs and rubs your back. “Y/N, I’m sure he doesn’t think that.”
You ignore Seeun and push the food in front of you around on your plate. “I’m doomed for eternity. He’ll probably tell Sunoo he thinks I’m impolite for not saying thank you to him and Sunoo will gossip about it and soon --”
You never get to finish your sentence because students rush into the cafeteria, terror plastered across their faces. Seconds later, you see the reason why they were terrified.
Zombies.
Zombies only ever existed in your imagination. They only ever existed in books, movies, and TV shows. Not once did you ever think you would be an active participant in a Zombie apocalypse. You couldn’t move a single muscle as you watch students around you scramble to the exit or get tackled to the ground by a hungry Zombie. Beside you, Seeun screams in terror.
The Zombies were grotesque. Their faces were mutilated; like someone had punched them over and over. Blood covered their faces, eyes were gorged out and hanging, teeth were missing, cheeks were cut open, the eyes that remained in the eyesockets were the darkest black you had ever seen, and their skin was a terrifying pale green color.
“Y/N!” Seeun screams, terrified.
You snap back into reality as the fire alarm goes off and the sprinklers turn on. You and everyone else in the cafeteria are drenched in seconds. You survey the carnage going on around you. Zombies were pouring in through every available entrance and exit. In all honesty, you believed that this would be where you would die.
Windows.
You pinpoint a window, and then a table beneath it. You could stack chairs on top of the desk. Grabbing Seeun, you both slip across the wet ground, narrowly avoiding the Zombies that were once people you knew. Seeun sobs loudly behind you, shrieking whenever a Zombie strayed too close to the both of you. Your main priority was Seeun, you needed her safe.
Reaching the window, you tell Seeun to help you push a table up against the wall. Behind you, screams of terror filled the silence. You heard snarling and bones cracking, you heard other students crying out the names of their friends dying in front of their eyes. You needed to get out. You needed to find safety -- an adult. You needed an adult.
Grabbing a chair, you climb onto the table and smash open a window. Seeun climbs onto the table next to you, her sobs now muffled by the palms of her hands. You place the chair on top of the table and step onto it peering out the window. It was safe. Far safer than the cafeteria. “You first,” you tell Seeun.
“Y/N --”
“Seeun,” you cut your friend off, gripping her tightly, “I need you safe. You’re going first.”
Seeun nods her head. “Okay. Okay. Me first.” With a shaky inhale, Seeun climbs onto the chair, grips the window pane, and pulls herself out of the cafeteria. “Your turn!” She calls out and relief floods your body. Glancing behind you, you see the carnage -- it’s a sight you’ll remember for the rest of your life.
You drop down next to Seeun and grab her hand. “Let’s go to the nurse's office,” you say to Seeun. “Nurse Jeon will know what to do.” Together you both run away from the cafeteria and out into the courtyard, not expecting other places to be swarmed with Zombies -- but they were everywhere.
You begin to wonder how this was even possible -- where did the Zombie army come from? How were they able to turn that quickly? A Zombie lunges for both you and Seeun and with a quick yank, you pull the both of you away.
“Y/N!” Seeun calls out, but you ignore her. Surely Nurse Jeon is alive. She has to be. If not, maybe you and Seeun could seek refuge in the nurse’s office. You drag Seeun toward one of the entrances to the school building, but it’s immediately blocked by Zombies. You divert to another path, but come up short and terror begins to flood your body at a faster rate.
You didn’t want to die -- you couldn’t. You still had so much left to do.
But everywhere you went, there were Zombies and at every wall, Seeun sobbed louder. Anger and terror flood your veins, it blinds you, and you take Seeun down to a quieter place. Leaning against the wall, you turn to Seeun. “Seeun --”
“Y/N,” Seeun interrupts, “it’s hopeless.”
“Seeun, don’t say that,” you say, taking her other hand into yours. “I’ll look for another way in -- surely there’s a window we can climb into --”
“Y/N!” You’ve never heard Seeun scream louder. Suddenly, you’re yanked behind Seeun and watching a Zombie tackle Seeun to the ground. The world slows. There’s a loud ringing in your ears as you watch the terror occurring in front of you. Seeun’s screaming, desperately reaching for you, but you can’t hear her. You drop to your knees and crawl forward. Tears drop onto your hands. You didn’t even know you were crying. When did you start crying?
Desperately, you try to pull the Zombie off Seeun but it’s no use. You aren’t strong enough. The world is still quiet. Seeun stills beneath the Zombie, her hand falling limply to the ground. The Zombie’s eyes focus on you and you give in. This is how you die. Abruptly, there’s another hand on your shoulder that slips down to your forearm and is yanking you up onto your feet.
“Y/N!” Someone shouts right next to you. Everything slams back in focus and you finally hear everything -- you hear someone sobbing loudly but Seeun’s dead? Who is the one crying now? You touch your face. Oh, you’re the one crying.
You’re yanked forward as the Zombie pounces your way. You stumble over your feet, but the hand on your forearm keeps you steady. You focus on your savior; silver hair, long legs, and a familiar warm grip. It’s Park Sunghoon -- what was Park Sunghoon doing?
You try to say something, but all that comes out is a sob. You don’t know what is happening. One moment you were sitting in the cafeteria with Seeun, and the next you were watching her die. Your arm hangs limp in Sunghoon’s grip as he drags you through the outside of the school. Zombies and lifeless bodies litter the ground. Loud screaming and snarls fill the air and you wonder if Seeun could make it out of this alive even if you did just watch her die. Seeun can’t be dead. Sure, you saw her arm fall to the ground, but Sunghoon had pulled you away too soon.
Seeun can’t be dead. With that thought, you rip your arm out of Sunghoon’s hold causing the older boy to top in his tracks. He whirls around, eyes wide as he focuses all his attention on you. In another situation, you would be frozen beneath this kind of attention, but right now, all you want is Seeun by your side once more.
“Y/N --”
“Seeun’s not dead. I need to go back for her.” You like to think you sound more articulate and calm, but all that comes out are sobs and jumbled-up words. You watch Sunghoon’s eyes droop in sympathy. “Seeun -- she’s not -- she can’t be --”
“Y/N,” Sunghoon takes your hand. “I’m sorry. But we have to keep moving. They’re waiting for us.” He springs back into action with you following behind, sobbing even louder. You don’t even remember how you make it into the school building. Tears fill your vision and Seeun’s death is repeated in your mind. The more you watch it, the more hopelessness fills you. Seeun’s really dead. There’s no denying it anymore. Seeun’s dead and you just watched her die.
The running stops. Sunghoon bangs on a door and it slides open. You and Sunghoon step into a familiar classroom filled with unfamiliar faces. Sunghoon drops your hand and helps whoever was behind you stack the chairs back on top of the desks keeping the door shut.
Once again, ringing fills your ears and the world quietens around you. Seeun’s death is still playing in your mind. Your eyes drop down to look at your hands, and you see the blood that wasn’t there before. You wail loudly and drop to your knees, bunching up your skirt and hurriedly scrubbing off the blood from your hands. It doesn’t work. The blood won’t come off your hands and you continue to sob.
There are voices.
“...Sunghoon what the fuck….”
“....../N? Why is she here, Sunghoon? You said you were getting…..”
“......just pick up random people!”
“….is she doing? Someone stop her, Y/N……”
Hands pull your skirt away. The rubbing stops and you look up. Sunghoon’s kneeling in front of you again, his mouth poised to speak when you shriek and scramble back from Sunghoon, your butt sliding across the floor. “Don’t touch me!”
Silence rings through the room.
You finally glance around the room. Lee Heeseung. Park Jongseong. Sim Jaeyun. Nishimura Riki. Kim Sunoo. Yang Jungwon. All of Sunghoon’s friends are gathered in one room. And now you’re here. You’re here, and Seeun’s out there. Lying all alone. You’re alive and Seeun’s dead and you watched. You watched Seeun die. Hot tears stream down your face and you desperately wipe them away with the back of your hand, not caring if blood is smeared across your face.
“Y/N,” it’s Sunoo. Your sweet seatmate settles in front of you. He reaches out and guides your hand away from your face, wiping the tears himself. There’s a gentle smile on his face. “You’re safe now.”
You ignore the purposeful cough after Sunoo’s words. You can worry about safety later -- for now, you’re in a classroom that isn’t full of Zombies. “Sunoo,” your voice cracks and you lean forward, your cheek pressed to Sunoo’s chest as he wraps you into a hug. “Seeun’s dead.”
“Oh, Y/N,” Sunoo’s hand rubs your back. “I’m sorry.”
There’s a loud bang on the door and everyone in the room jumps. Sunoo squeezes you tightly, his chest not moving beneath your cheek. The silence in the room is overwhelming. Seconds pass and there’s no other bang. “Let’s get you up, Y/N, come on.” Sunoo helps you up, wiping your face with his hands again.
Sunoo helps you to a chair, and as soon as you sit down, you notice everyone in the room looking at you. Bowing your head, the tips of your ears turn red.
“Y/N,” Sunghoon says and you peer at him. “Are you okay?”
Nishimura Riki snorts. “That’s a stupid question to ask, Sunghoon.”
“What else am I supposed to ask? ‘How’s your day going so far?’”
Jaeyun snorts, clearly amused but covers it up with a cough.
Sunghoon looks back at you, but you avert your eyes, opting to stare at your shoes instead. A heavy silence settles over the group. Noises that were still unfamiliar to you floated through the open window in the classroom. Goosebumps spread over your skin as you hear heavy footsteps run down the hallway. Everything happened so fast that you’re still running the events that lead up to this moment through your head.
The cafeteria. You were watching Sunghoon. Seeun was beside you. The Zombies came and you escaped out a window with Seeun.
The back exterior wall of a building. You and Seeun. Watching Seeun die. Sunghoon appears out of nowhere and drags you with him to some kind of safety.
The classroom. You’re with Sunghoon. And Sunoo. And their friends -- the friends everyone talks about. The world is muffled around you once more and your breathing grows shallow -- how are you supposed to get home? How are you supposed to look Seeun’s parents in the eye and tell her their daughter is dead and you watched.
“Y/N?” Sunoo’s gentle fingers brush hair behind your ear. He looks concerned as he holds your chin between his fingers. “Hey, it’s okay.” It’s not okay -- you don’t think it will ever be okay because Seeun’s gone. Your best friend is gone. And you hate how her death is the only thing you can see whenever you close your eyes.
You tune back into the conversation happening beside you. Jongseong sounds exasperated. “We’ll stay here until tomorrow. We have no plan, Heeseung. And Sunghoon decided to add one more person to our party of seven.” Jongseong sounds more than exasperated, he sounds resentful. You curl into yourself even more because it wasn’t like you asked to join Sunghoon, he was the one who pulled you away from your death sentence.
“Having Y/N doesn’t mean the end of the world, Jongseong,” Jaeyun says, sighing after his sentence. “Since Sunghoon brought her here, she’s his burden.”
Burden. That’s all you were to these seven boys. A burden. And no one wants to bear the burden.
Sniffling, you wipe your nose with the sleeve of your school cardigan and stand up. The chair scrapes against the ground and all attention is pulled to you once again. You stalk over to the corner of the classroom and slide down the wall, curling up into a ball, and pressing your face against your legs desperate to sleep because when you wake up, hopefully, you’ll be back in your seat beside Sunoo with the sun shining on your face and Seeun’s familiar giggles floating through the classroom.
—-
It’s night when you pull your face away from your legs. It’s gotten oddly quieter, the only noises are from the Zombies. Looking out into the darkened classroom, you find Jaeyun, Riki, Heeseung, and Sunoo playing a card game, using the light from the lamp outside the classroom as a way to see.
Someone drops down beside you. Park Sunghoon. He holds out half a slice of Tiramisu wordlessly. He holds the other half. You hadn’t realized how hungry you were until it was in your mouth. Instantly, you’re savoring the flavor and your taste buds are begging for more.
“How are you feeling, Y/N?” Sunghoon asks, his voice low.
You shrug. You didn’t know the answer to that question because you were feeling so much that it felt like nothing. Turning your head slightly you stare at Sunghoon, his silver hair standing out in the dark classroom. You don’t think you’ve ever seen anyone as perfect as Park Sunghoon. It was like his existence was written in the stars because no one has ever shone as brightly as he has. Sunghoon has everything anyone’s ever wanted.
“I’m sorry about Seeun,” Sunghoon says again, his eyes meeting yours.
“It’s okay,” you whisper, your finger tracing shapes on the dirty ground beneath you. Sunghoon’s uniform looks perfect like he had just put it on. His shoes, though, give it all away. They’re bloody, just like your skirt and your hands. “Can I call my mom?” You hate how your voice trembles. “I miss her. I want to hear her voice.”
“Oh,” Sunghoon glances over to his friends playing cards in the lamplight. “We don’t have any phones with us, Y/N.”
“Oh.” Your eyes burn again and you blink them away. You’re starting to grow sick of crying. “Do we know anything about this situation at all?”
Sunghoon shakes his head and his knee bumps yours. You feel the familiar warmth you felt back in the nurse’s office when Sunghoon bandaged you up.
The Nurse’s office.
“Sunghoon,” you start tentatively, his name rolling out of your mouth awkwardly. “What about Suyeon and Joon?”
Sunghoon looks at you confused.
“This morning. They both fainted and looked really pale and were sweating lots and what if they’re patient zero and one and --” Your heartbeat increases with each word you say, and it peaks as Sunghoon interrupts your sentence by grabbing your arm and peeling off your bandage.
Where there were four bloody scratches before, there was now nothing. It was as if you had never been scratched.
Your heart stills and you look up at Sunghoon who was already looking at you. “Sunghoon, I --”
A loud thud interrupts you. And another. And another. The silence in the classroom is loud. Sunghoon’s hand tightens around your wrist. Terror seeps through your blood and you adjust your position on the floor to be closer to Sunghoon.
Then, it happens all too fast; the window on the door to the classroom is smashed open and somehow, all the chairs stacked up on the table in front of the door go tumbling down onto the ground revealing a young boy. The snarling of the Zombies grows louder and the young boy, bleeding and terrified, pulls himself through the broken window of the door.
“Taki?” Nishimura Riki knows the boy. He’s looking at the unfamiliar boy with excitement, relief, and apprehension.
Turning around, the boy smiles when he spots Riki. “Riki! Hey!” He holds up his hand and waves and that’s when you, and everyone else see it. A bite. His hand is bloody and there, clear as daylight, is a bite.
Sunghoon’s hand is firmer around your wrist when he pulls you up off the ground. You keep your eyes on the scene unfolding in front of you -- Taki waving enthusiastically with a wide smile while Riki regards him in disbelief which turns into sadness.
“Taki,” Riki starts softly as Sunghoon leads you over to the rest of the group. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too, Riki!” Taki replies, still cheerful as ever.
The groans and snarls of Zombies grow even closer.
“Taki,” Riki says again, his voice still soft and eyes shining in the dark.
“Yeah?”
The first tear falls down Riki’s cheek. “You’re my best friend, you know that?”
“You’re mine too!” That’s when you notice it: Taki’s skin is beginning to turn green. Beside you, Heeseung and Jongseong exchange words in a low mumble.
“Sunghoon,” you whisper, “his skin. Look.”
“Y/N,” you look up at Sunghoon, his eyes rake over your face and even though you’re in the middle of imminent death, you feel warm. “Stick close.” His fingers brush over your wrist and somehow your stomach is still able to produce butterflies.
Heeseung walks closer to where Riki and Taki stand and lays a hand on Riki’s shoulder. “Riki,” Heeseung speaks, “we can’t stay here.” Behind you, a window clicks open. The tension in the room rises and you begin to feel unsettled. The groans of the Zombies are closer than ever.
“Heeseung --”
“Riki. We have to go.” Heeseung’s voice is hard and you see his hand digging into Riki’s shoulders.
“But Taki --”
“We can’t save him, Riki.”
There’s a loud snarl and that’s when you see it. One of the many Zombies crowding the door’s broken window. Flashes of Seeun’s death run through your mind and you can’t breathe. This feels all too scary and you want to escape. You want to go home. You want to be walking to school with Seeun again. You want to be fourteen and see Park Sunghoon laugh for the first time again.
“Riki? What’s going on?” Taki is confused. He doesn’t realize his skin is turning a light shade of green. He doesn’t notice the black liquid pouring out of his eyes. He doesn’t realize how black his eyes are turning. Taki steps closer as Riki and Heeseung step back.
“Taki,” Riki’s sob is heartbreaking. You hate this, you hate watching Riki have to come to terms with the fact his friend is turning into a Zombie. “You’ve been bitten.” Riki’s voice is thick as he speaks through the tears pouring down his face.
“What? No I’m not. Why are you saying these things, Riki?”
Behind you there’s movement. Glancing over your shoulder you find Yang Jungwon climbing out the window and slipping into the night.
There’s another thud and you find Taki on the ground with Heeseung gripping Riki tightly as the younger sobs loudly, adding more noise to snarling and groaning coming from the Zombies pressed up against the locked door.
In the next second, Taki is rising up from the floor and launching himself at Heeseung and Riki. Riki’s thrown out of the way and Heeseung tackles Taki down onto the floor. It’s like the Zombies are excited with the way they throw themselves at the door, eager to enter the room and take down the seven occupying the room.
There’s a flurry of movement behind you and you watch as Jongseong ushers Sunoo out the window. “You have to be careful, Sunoo,” Jongseong warns the boy, “one wrong move and you’re dead.”
Sunoo snorts. “That’s assuring, thanks, Jongseong.” And Sunoo’s gone, slipping into the night the same way Jungwon did. Suddenly, you’re being ushered forward, Jongseong’s sharp eyes slipping to you and immediate disdain creeps over his face.
“Y/N next,” Sunghoon demands from behind you.
“Sung--”
“She’s next.” Sunghoon’s voice leaves no room for argument and Jongseong huffs. You wonder how they both could be so calm in a situation like this. Behind you, you hear Heeseung grunt and Taki, the newly turned Zombie, growl. Riki’s sobs are loud and Jaeyun’s calming words aren’t doing anything to subdue the younger.
“What do I do?” You ask hesitantly, your voice quiet under Jongseong’s gaze.
“Climb out of the window and across to the broadcasting club’s room.”
Sunghoon’s hand slips from your wrist as Jongseong pulls you harshly towards the desk in front of the window. You look at him expectantly. “What?” Jongseong asks, “do you want to die?” You steal a glance at the horde of Zombies still pushing up against the door, their arms reaching through the window. You look at Heeseung, his school uniform getting torn beneath Taki’s needy hands, Jaeyun and Riki on the ground, and Sunghoon, who is behind you frowning.
When you look back at Jongseong, there’s shock hidden in his eyes. You wonder how he was able to figure out what you were thinking. You seriously wouldn’t mind dying right now. Jongseong’s reaching out and pulling you closer to him. You’ve never been this close to him. He looks extremely handsome.
“You’re not dying Y/N,” he whispers harshly, it’s hard to hear him over the noise echoing throughout the classroom. “And if you do die, it’ll be my own hands.” You never do get to ask Jongseong what he means because he’s pushing you towards the window and forcing you out. “Hold on, Y/N, and don’t look down. You’ll know when you’re at the broadcasting room because Jungwon will be waiting for you.”
The coldness of the night seeps through your school uniform. It does nothing to make the sweat on your hands evaporate, though. The ledge is not wide enough for a school kid to be inching their way across the outside of the school building. There’s little to nothing for your hands to grab onto and you don’t heed Jongseong’s advice. Looking down was your greatest mistake.
You’re so far up, and everywhere you look there’s a Zombie walking. One wrong step and you’re dead. You’re dead, and you won’t ever see Sunghoon again. One wrong step, and you’ll see Seeun again. Pushing yourself against the cool wall, you squeeze your eyes shut as tears form again. You didn’t want to be here in this situation. How did this all even happen? How did people you know turn into bloodthirsty monsters?
Opening your eyes, you see what Jongseong had meant when he told you Jungwon would be waiting for you. Light floods through an open window and there Yang Jungwon was, with fiery red hair, peering at you as he leans out of the window.
You don’t know much about Yang Jungwon; you just know the basics. He’s class president and head of the taekwondo club. He’s very good friends with Kang Taehyun and he works at a cat cafe. He’s also Park Sunghoon’s neighbor.
You inch your way over to the broadcasting club’s room, your hands sweatier than they’ve ever been. The horror that lay beneath you kept your heart rate beating at a rapid speed and kept terror streaming through your bloodstream.
Jungwon helps you into the broadcasting room, it’s much nicer in here and you spy a few water bottles resting on the desk. Instantly, you’re reminded of how thirsty you are. “Can we drink that?” You ask, making eye contact with Sunoo who spins around on a chair, his fingers fidgeting with whatever was in his lap.
“Go for it,” Sunoo says, “I think there’s enough for the eight of us.”
Riki is the next to join the three of you with bloodshot eyes and a runny nose. Sunoo, with pitying eyes, hands Riki a tissue box and gently cards a hand through the younger boy’s hair. Riki instantly melts into Sunoo’s touch and you feel your heart tugging in despair for the boy.
Jaeyun follows after Riki also looking incredibly disheveled. He converses with Jungwon in a low voice and you begin to grow restless waiting for the remaining three boys. It hasn’t even been a full day and you’re already exhausted. You’re ready for this to all be some kind of fucked up prank because you can’t take this anymore. You want to survive to see your mom again, but you’re already tired that the thought of giving yourself to the Zombies doesn’t scare you as much anymore.
Jongseong is the next to join. He doesn’t look happy, “they forced me to go. The door is about to break down and Taki’s only just been restrained --” There’s a loud cry, silence, and then a bone-shattering thud. You, along with the five boys, crowd the window and look out into the dead night. Someone’s lying on the pavement, their limbs bent in awkward angles and your breath catches.
Riki’s the first to turn away, Jaeyun following after. Sunoo’s hand snakes around your elbow and pulls you away from the window. “Come on, Y/N, let’s go sit and wait.” You could hear the desperation in Sunoo’s voice so you comply, also desperate for some sort of distraction from the fear telling you that body was Sunghoon.
“Sunoo,” you say in a hushed voice, your knees pulled up to your chest, “I was talking to Sunghoon before. We know nothing about what’s going on but what if Suyeon and Joon were the ones who started it? Think about it, Sunoo.” You were desperate to have some kind of answer because maybe then you could figure out a way to end this all, to bring everyone infected back.
Sunoo stares at you, his face morphing through many emotions. That was one thing you always loved about Sunoo, he was always transparent about how he felt. “Y/N,” Sunoo says in amazement, “oh my god. Suyeonie. She was pale, but I thought she looked kind of green, and Joon -- they were both sweating a lot and then --” his eyes drop to your wrist that was no longer bandaged.
“Y/N,” you immediately hide your wrist from Sunoo. “Y/N, Suyeon made you bleed.” His eyes meet yours and you see the fear.
“Sunoo --”
“Heeseung!” Jungwon exclaims, hurriedly pulling the oldest through the window. Seconds later, Sunghoon also lands in the broadcasting room and his eyes immediately seek you out. His and Heeseung’s uniforms were in tatters. There were big gaping holes in their blazers and buttons missing, blood covering their pants and white blouses, and their ties had been ripped off.
“Are you okay, Heeseung? Sunghoon?” Jaeyun asks, “you aren’t hurt?”
Behind them, Jongseong slams the window shut quite loudly, and follows it up with a loud shout of “fuck!” The response from the Zombies is almost instant -- they begin to snarl and groan, moving in the direction of the window that had just been shut.
Of course -- no one pays attention to that response except for Jaeyun who furrows his eyebrows.
Jungwon hands Jongseong the last water bottle full of water. “This is all we have,” Jungwon speaks gently, “we’ll need to venture out tomorrow to find supplies. We can’t stay in here forever.”
“There was plenty of food in that classroom,” Sunoo says forlornly. “Everyone’s bags had secret snacks for nighttime studying.”
“We also need a phone,” Sunghoon speaks up, “some form of communication. We’re in the dark, we have no clue what’s going on, and,” Sunghoon cuts himself off, sighing deeply, “there may be. .Infections beyond the school.”
Everyone inhales sharply, their worst fear coming true.
Jongseong slumps down in defeat, hanging his head. “Jungwon’s right. We can’t stay here forever. We have to leave and try and reach somewhere safe, like a quarantine camp. But first, we need a phone.”
“The only information I know is that Suyeon and Joon may have started the outbreak at school, but how they got it themselves is still a mystery,” Sunghoon continues, his eyes holding yours.
“How do you know that, Hoon?” Heeseung asks, resting beside Jongseong.
“Because when they were in the infirmary they were acting weird,” Sunghoon says, “before Joon knocked himself out, he was moving weirdly and always trying to bite Jaeyun and I. I don’t know much about Suyeon, but I know when she woke up, she grabbed onto Y/N and made her bleed.”
All attention is directed back to you again.
“I bandaged her up, the scratches were pretty bad. Before Taki came, I checked her wrist. The scratches aren’t there anymore. It’s almost like she wasn’t scratched.”
The silence is too loud.
“Suyeon’s fingers were bleeding,” Sunoo says in a hushed voice, “when she scratched Y/N, her blood must’ve come into contact with Y/N’s.”
“So, Y/N’s a Zombie,” Riki says.
“What?” You croak, taken aback by the accusation. “No. I’m not.”
“We don’t know that Y/N,” Jongseong backs up Riki. Of course he does. “You could be some weird evolved Zombie for all we know.”
You scowl, hot anger surging through your veins suddenly. You don’t know where the change in mood came from. “If I were a Zombie, you’d be dead already, Jongseong.”
Jongseong scoffs. “You wouldn’t even be able to land a single finger on me. I’d take you down before you even get the chance to bite me. You’re weak compared to me, Y/N.”
All you see is red. It’s like you don’t have control of your own mind as you lunge for Jongseong ready to prove him wrong. Before you could even touch the boy, an arm wraps around your waist and holds you back. You struggle in the person’s arms, and you spit at the ground in front of Jongseong. “I’ll kill you,” your mouth is moving without your consent and spitting out words you don’t want to say. “I’ll fucking kill you.” With one last struggle, you’re pushing arms holding you back from Jongseong off you. The next thing you hear is a loud thud and a groan.
Glancing over your shoulder you see Sunghoon crumpled up on the ground, the locker that stood behind him was caved in, marking how he was flung into the metal. You stop breathing and register the silence and eyes staring at you in terror.
“I think Jongseong’s right,” Jungwon speaks up. “We can’t trust you, Y/N.”
“I’m not a Zombie,” your hands clench, fingernails pressing into your palm. “I don’t even know how I did that!”
“We can’t trust you,” Jungwon repeats. “But I don’t think we should be pushing you out to be with the Zombies,” he gestures to the recording booth. “Go in there.”
“You want me in the recording booth?”
“Just until morning. If by morning, you haven’t changed or done something weird, we’ll let you out, but, if something happens overnight, we’re leaving you here for good.” Jungwon’s tone sounds final and you can’t find it in you to rebut his idea because, if you think about it logically, it’s what’s best for both you and the seven boys.
Entering the recording room with Jungwon locking you in, it grows deathly quiet. You’re alone with your thoughts for the first time today and you don’t know what to do.
—-
“Y/N.” You don’t know how much time has passed when Sunghoon steps into the recording room. Your head snaps up at the sound of his voice and immediately you’re spewing your apologies. You didn’t mean to throw Sunghoon into the lockers. You hope he’s not too injured, otherwise you won’t be able to sleep at night knowing you had hurt Sunghoon unintentionally.
Something of a smile appears on Sunghoon’s face as he sits in front of you. “It’s okay, Y/N, I know you didn’t mean to push me that hard.” His hand reaches for your wrist and you let him take it, his fingertips gently tracing the patch of skin that was once covered by scratches.
“Sunghoon?” You ask, not raising your voice above a whisper.
“Hmm?”
“Are you scared?”
It’s silent for a moment. The moonlight washes over Sunghoon’s face and you’ve never wanted to kiss someone this badly before. “Of you? Never,” came Sunghoon’s response, and your body burns. It burns so intensely you can’t breathe.
“Oh. I was asking if you were scared of the situation. Not me.”
Sunghoon looks up at you, his hand slipping from your wrist to hold your hand. “Oh. I meant what I said, Y/N. You don’t scare me.”
You smile softly. You don’t know how, but being with Sunghoon like this brings some sense of comfort to you. “Oh. Thank you, Sunghoon.”
Sunghoon smiles softly. It’s the first real smile you’ve seen on his face since this whole Zombie situation began. Warmth settles in your stomach and your shoulders sag, the weight you were carrying around slides off. “Are you okay, Y/N? How are you feeling?”
You snort lightly. ”That’s like the third time you’ve asked me if I was okay.”
“I ask because I care, Y/N.”
“Oh. Sunghoon, I--” you stare at Sunghoon, unblinking. Your stomach feels weird. It’s way too loud in the recording booth and you want out. You slip your hand out of Sunghoon’s and push your face into your legs. Did Sunghoon know about your feelings? Or was he being honest? You couldn’t believe that you were at the beginning of a Zombie apocalypse and still thinking about Sunghoon and how much you liked him.
“Y/N?” Sunghoon asks, sounding hesitant.
“I’m okay,” you mumble.
“Okay.” Awkward tension floats through the room. You don’t make any move to disperse the awkwardness and instead, you let it simmer.
“Right, I came in here because Sunoo told us the debate team was supposed to go on their annual school trip tomorrow, but obviously that isn’t going to happen, but in the classroom where they meet up, there’s a cupboard full of food and some water,” Sunghoon tells you and you don’t think you’ve ever heard him talk this hesitantly before.
You look back up at Sunghoon and instantly regret it because he’s so beautiful. “Oh. Okay. Do you have a plan yet? Am I even included in that plan? Because I can leave you all alone if you want. It might be easier since I’m probably a burden to you.”
Sunghoon stares at you. He stares at you for a long time that it becomes uncomfortable. “Do you think you’re a burden, Y/N?”
You shrug half-heartedly. “It’s easy to tell when I’m not wanted.”
“You’re wanted, Y/N,” Sunghoon says intently, his eyes never drifting away from yours.
You don’t say anything in response. How could that be true? It’s clear to see you’re a burden in the way the boys regard you, it’s clear to see you’re a burden in the way Jongseong talks to you, and it’s clear to see you’re a burden when you heard Jaeyun’s words.
“Y/N. .” Sunghoon says softly. You’ve never heard him speak like that before. It’s gentle like he’s coaxing a cat from underneath a car. It’s a comforting voice, one that makes you want to dive into and soak forever in. “You’re wanted.”
You scoff and look away, your heart tremors beneath your ribcage. Butterflies bloom and stick themselves to your gut. “How do I know you’re not just saying that to make me feel better?”
There’s a pause.
“Because I --” Sunghoon falters. His eyes slide away from your face and you feel your heart burn. “You should get some sleep, Y/N.”
“Right. Of course. Goodnight, Sunghoon.”
“Goodnight, Y/N. Sleep well.”
You don’t get any sleep that night.
—-
You’re allowed out of the recording booth when you wake up. You’re still regarded with caution, but you don’t care, you’re just glad to be out of the room. Sitting on the floor next to Sunoo, you listen to the conversation happening around you. They’re discussing a way to get to the debate room without alerting any Zombies to their presence.
“I have useful information if anyone wants to hear it,” Jaeyun says, raising his hand.
“What is it, Jaeyun?” Heeseung asks. “We’ll take anything at this point.”
“I think I know how to get past the Zombies.”
Everyone leans in and listens eagerly. “Sound attracts Zombies,” Jaeyun starts to explain. “And we’re in the broadcasting room. This is where the morning school announcements are made which means there are speakers all over school connected to this exact room. So, if we play a song, all the Zombies will move to wherever that sound is coming from. It’ll give us a clear path to the debate room.”
“I love it when you speak like that, Jaeyun,” Sunghoon comments, wearing a teasing smile. Seems like someone got a goodnight's sleep, you think bitterly to yourself. You were so sure Sunghoon was going to say something last night that was going to completely change your relationship. You were proven wrong, though.
“Someone needs to stay back though, right?” Riki asks, “because who will turn off the music?”
“I’m sure we can keep it going until it stops,” Sunoo pipes up.
“Yeah, but how will it stop?” Riki presses, “there’s no timer. It would keep on playing and we’d all go crazy.”
“I don’t think any of us should separate from the group,” Jungwon says firmly. “Separation is the last thing we want to do now.”
“What song should we play?” You ask, “because I suggest Red Velvet. Playing Zimzalabim would be so funny.”
Beside you, Sunoo giggles.
“I was gonna suggest Ring Ding Dong by SHINee,” Riki says, a wicked grin appearing.
“We’re immediately vetoing that idea,” Jongseong says, scowling in Riki’s direction.
“What about classical music?” Sunghoon asks, “that shit doesn’t get too repetitive, right? It’s just a bunch of instruments playing over and over again. No lyrics, just vibes.”
“No lyrics, just vibes,” Jongseong mimics and Sunghoon whacks him in retaliation.
“Let’s try to find some music, surely they have some in here,” Jaeyun says, standing up.
“First, I need to use the toilet,” Riki announces. “Should I pee out the window?” Riki earns disgusted groans in return and a small giggle from you.
“No. No peeing out of windows,” Jongseong says firmly. “We may be in an apocalypse but that doesn’t mean we don’t do our best to remain hygienic. We need to set up some kind of toilet, maybe in the recording booth? We’re not going to use it anymore, right?”
“I sure hope not,” you mutter, folding your arms over your chest. “Because there’s no way I’m going back in there under suspicion with it smelling like shit and piss.”
“The recording booth it is,” Jungwon says, “I did boy scouts when I was younger, let me build the toilet.”
“Me too!” Sunoo pipes up, eagerly pushing himself off the ground, “I was your group leader, remember Wonie?”
Jungwon’s smile is fond as he remembers his past memories, and together he and Sunoo begin to build the make-shift toilet. All around you, everyone falls into conversation to pass the time leaving you alone with your thoughts once more.
You begin to wonder how hard you had pushed Sunghoon to make a dent in the metal lockers to the left of you. In fact, you’re 100% certain you aren’t even that strong. You’re pretty weak so for you to be able to make a permanent mark on metal terrifies and oddly intrigues you -- what more can you do? Surely the small bit of blood on Suyeon’s that infected your bloodstream carries some kind of weird mutation causing you to be this way -- you hope you get answers soon because all this uncertainty is driving you insane.
“Get a good sleep, Y/N?” Sunghoon asks, sitting down in front of you.
“Yeah. You?”
Sunghoon hums. “The best I could get.” There’s a lull in the conversation. You immediately think back to earlier in the recording booth -- you were so sure Sunghoon was going to confess, or something because the way he was looking at you, and the way he was phrasing his words, made you believe. It made you find hope in this bleak apocalypse. “How are you feeling?”
You give Sunghoon a deadpan look. “This question? Again?”
Sunghoon shrugs. “I think it’s warranted in a situation like this.”
You smile softly. “Yeah. I suppose. And I’m feeling a bit nervous because we don’t know what’s out there. I hope Jaeyun’s right. I hope this plan works. I hope --” you sigh heavily, your chin resting on your knee.
Sunghoon reaches forward and takes your hand into his. “We’ll make it, Y/N.”
“Okay,” Jungwon and Sunoo step out of the recording booth. “Who is first?”
“Y/N,” Sunghoon says loudly, “ladies first. People who need to shit go last.”
“Riki, you’re going last then!”
“Shut the fuck up Sunoo.”
It took quite a while for all seven boys to use the toilet. After numerous rock-paper-scissor games and fights, Heeseung left the recording booth with the nastiest look on his face. “When we make it to a safety zone you all better sleep with one eye open.”
“Even me?” You ask, pouting.
“They’ll call me Misogynist Heeseung.”
“Alright, Misogynist Heeseung, do the honors,” Jaeyun gestures to the booth, “go back in there and turn on the music.”
Heeseung hisses at Jaeyun and turns on his heel, taking a deep breath before entering the recording booth once more and turning on the classical music you’d found in one of the dented lockers. With the first note of Four Seasons playing, the school speakers become a target for the Zombies limping through the school grounds.
You, along with the others, watch out the window in awe. Jaeyun was right, Zombies are attracted to sound.
“It’s showtime,” Jongseong rolls his shoulders back and rolls his sleeves up. “I will do anything to make it to the room of treasures even if it means leaving you weaklings behind.”
It’s silent. Overwhelmingly silent.
“Sorry. I don’t know why I said that.”
“Yeah,” Riki hums, “we all know you’d be the first to die.”
“We’re running out of time, let’s go already,” groans Sunoo heading over to the door. “I’m opening up this damn door and running all the way to the debate room. I am about to eat Y/N/’s hair.”
You touch your hair, frowning. “Why my hair? Why not Jaeyun’s?”
Sunoo shrugs. “First name that came to mind was yours. Okay, opening the door in 3. . 2. . 1 --”
“-- WAIT --”
Sunoo wrenches open the door.
Nothing happens.
There’s a pause in the music. And then it starts all over again.
The look Sunoo gives the rest of the group is one of pure jubilation. “Last one to the debate room is Zombie bait for our next mission!” And then he’s flying out the door, Jaeyun and Jongseong shouting after him.
“Do they think the music will drown out the noise they’re making?” Jungwon asks with a shake of his head. “Stupid. Idiots. All of them are.” He steps out the door, Heeseung following behind. Sunghoon reaches for your hand and smiles down at you. Behind you, Riki groans, “keep the heart eyes to a minimum around me, please.”
“Let’s go, Y/N.”
Stepping out, you stare around you in amazement. Zombies are desperately trying to reach for the speaker, climbing and standing on top of each other to try and satiate their hunger. At the end of the hallway stood the rest of the ground. Jaeyun was holding Sunoo by his collar.
“We have to climb up two flights of stairs,” Jungwon explains quietly, but loud enough for you to all hear over the music. “Be aware of your surroundings. There might be a few Zombies who haven’t gone towards the speakers.” With one final shared look, you begin your long ascent to the room full of food and water.
You were nearing the end. Sunghoon’s hand was tightly gripping yours and you could see your final destination in sight. You realized you truly had nothing to worry about because Jaeyun’s plan was foolproof --
And then you’re being yanked back by your hair.
With a loud shriek, you go flying backward, your hand losing Sunghoon’s. Pain explodes as you land on your back harshly. Standing above you with their hand still curled in your hair is Joon. The boy from the nurse’s office. His face is bloody and there’s a long cut down the middle of his face, the sight of it makes you retch. His eyes are the darkest black you’ve ever seen.
“Sunghoon!” You cry out, desperate to get away. Your stomach churns and you wonder why Joon specifically targeted you, and how Joon was still a functioning human. Reaching up, you try to pry Joon’s hands away from your hair, but he was too strong.
Snarling, the older boy yanks your head back harder, a harsh pulsing pain beats rapidly against your skull. Is this how you die?
“Joon?” Jake sounds astonished. “You’re alive?”
You had no clue what was going on. Fear creeps into your bloodline and sets your heart alight. You struggle in Joon’s grasp and cry out, a sob wrenching itself free from your throat. Maybe you didn’t want to die. Maybe you wanted to survive because there was still some hope deep within you that everything will be okay if you make it out of this alive. (Maybe you were feeling this hope because of Park Sunghoon.)
“Of course I’m alive, idiot,” sneers Joon, his hand tightening in your hair. “Why would they kill patient zero?”
You reach up and claw at Joon’s arm, your nails snagging his skin, cutting the boy open and he begins to bleed. “You’re such a bitch, Y/N,” Joon growls, his other hand wrapping around your neck and dragging you up from the ground, your breath hitching as you struggle to breathe.
“Let Y/N go, Joon,” Sunghoon demands, his eyes only focused on you. You feel pathetic, you’re unable to do anything -- you can’t even breathe. Maybe it would’ve been better if they left you in the broadcasting room.
“Why should I let her go?” Joon’s voice was close to your ear. You could practically taste the black blood spilling out of his mouth and onto your clothed shoulder. “She’s just like me. She’s another Zombie and you’re willingly keeping her in your group?”
“Zombie or not, let go of Y/N,” Sunghoon says, his voice low, and his eyes finally looking at Joon. He steps forward and then takes another step, and another, and another -- and then Joon snarls. It’s not loud enough to be heard over the music pouring out of the speakers, and yet, all the Zombies turn and focus their deadly black eyes on the group of seven boys, with Sunghoon in the front.
Terror floods your veins and you struggle in Joon’s grasp. You couldn’t let more people fall victim to Zombies because of you. With all eyes focused on the seven boys, a chill creeps up your spine. “One move,” Joon begins, his voice threateningly low, “and you’ll join them.”
Joon lets go of you and you instantly gasp for air, your chest heaving in delight. “You don’t believe me, do you?” Joon says, a hand reaching out to grip the back of your blouse. “Y/N’s a Zombie. The moment Suyeon’s blood entered her bloodstream, Y/N began to turn.”
“We locked her in the recording booth for a night,” Jungwon says, his eyes carefully passing over every Zombie looking at them with hungry black eyes, “nothing happened. Nothing changed.”
Joon laughs. It’s loud, but the Zombies don’t move. “But something did happen, didn’t it, Y/N?” He yanks you back towards him and you shriek, desperation filling your veins again. “What happened, Y/N?” His fingers curl through your hair, brushing it away from your face gently.
“I -- I pushed Sunghoon.” You struggle to speak, fear hindering your every move, and every word. “And he dented the lockers in the broadcasting room.”
Joon hums. “That’s an oddly inhumane amount of strength, don’t you think?”
“Please let me go,” you beg.
“Do you believe me now?” Joon asks, ignoring your begging.
“Y/N’s not a zombie,” Sunghoon says, and it sounds like he truly believes it.
“Sunghoon,” you whisper, crestfallen.
“Fine, I’ll make you believe.” Without warning, Joon’s hands settle on your chest and rip your blouse apart, your eyes widen and immediately your arms come up to cover your bare torso. One hand wraps around your neck while the other produces a knife. It’s one from the kitchen in the cafeteria and you’re paralyzed by fear.
“Watch me,” Joon growls, “or I’ll kill Y/N.”
Seven sets of eyes settle on your bare body and if this was any other circumstance you would blush. You look at Sunghoon again and it’s hard to make out what he’s feeling as he stares back at you. You want to say something to him, you want to comfort him, you want to tell him to run and leave you here, but you don’t. You feel the cool touch of a blade against your abdomen, settled just beneath your bra, and then you’re being cut open, the blade digging into your skin and you cry out.
A long line is cut into your abdomen and blood flows out of the cut. It’s dark red and it matches the blood already on your hands. You collapse to the ground once Joon lets go of you and you continue to cry, the pain overwhelming. You push your hands against the wound to stop the bleeding but to no avail.
You were dying and no one was helping you. It was a picture-perfect scenario because you did nothing to help Seeun. “I’m sorry,” you whisper to the ground. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” And then, little by little, the pain lessens. Little by little, you stop bleeding. Little by little, the cut on your abdomen heals itself.
Grabbing you roughly by the hair, Joon forces you up and your hands away from your now-healed cut. “Do you believe me now?”
You look over at Sunghoon. His eyes are wide and his mouth is slightly ajar. You don’t dare look at anyone else. For the final time, Joon lets go of you and you collapse back onto the ground. Your head pounds and your upper body feels overwhelmingly hot. “I’ll be back,” Joon warns. “This is only a warning.” He snarls again, and every Zombie in the hallway trails after him, their black beady eyes never leaving the group of seven boys.
“Y/N,” Sunghoon says, darting forward. He rushes to your side, crouching down in front of you and reaching out. You quickly back away, tears pouring down your cheeks as you keep your head down and arms wrapped around yourself.
“Leave me alone Sunghoon,” you say, your voice thick with tears. “I’m a Zombie, don’t you understand?”
“Y/N, look at me,” Sunghoon says softly, he takes off his blazer and covers you with it. “Zombie or not I still want you with me.” Hesitatingly, he reaches out to brush strands of hair behind your ear. He then cups your cheek and his thumb brushes your cheek. “Come on, Y/N, I bet you’re hungry.”
“Yeah, for brains,” you mutter under your breath, angry at the world. Looking back up, you see Sunghoon smiling. “Why are you looking at me like that?” You feel shy beneath Sunghoon’s gaze.
“I’m sure that can be arranged,” Sunghoon answers, “Jongeong’s brain can be the first to get eaten.”
—-
You reach the classroom that holds all of the debate club’s food and water for the trip they were supposed to take today. Your eyes stare at the food stacked up, and the water lying on the ground. You felt like you were in heaven.
Jaeyun’s the first to move. He darts forward, swipes the Home Run Balls, and the rest follow, squabbling over who gets what. Sunghoon nudges you. “What do you want, Y/N?”
“I don’t know,” you answer, hugging Sunghoon’s blazer tighter around you
Sunghoon smiles and steps into the cupboard. A few seconds later he reappears with a chocolate bar and water. “Here, you’ll probably need a lot of water after what happened, Y/N. And chocolate just because everyone loves chocolate.” After handing you the water and chocolate bar, Sunghoon takes some snacks for himself and leads you over to some chairs.
You both eat silently, letting the loud yet quiet voices of the others fill up the silence. You didn’t know what to say -- what were you supposed to say after a situation like that? You feel Sunghoon’s shoulder brush your’s and you instantly become aware of how close he is.
“Sunghoon?” You ask hesitantly.
Sunghoon glances over at you, humming slightly. His stare pins you to your seat. He still looks beautiful, you think to yourself, like a star. He still looks like he was hand crafted from heaven above, and he still looks so out of your league. No matter the time, no matter the place, no matter the situation, the answer will always be the same; Sunghoon will never be yours. He’s destined for things bigger than your small village, and he’s destined for someone better than you. And yet --
And yet he’s sitting next to you.
And yet his school-issued blazer is wrapped around your body.
(You remember bringing Park Sunghoon up to your mother one night. She laughs and shakes her head, finishing dishing the takeaway chicken she bought after work onto your plate. “Park Sunghoon, that boy is destined to be a star, Y/N.”
He’s out of your league is unsaid. You’re no good for him is unsaid.
“There’s no point loving someone like that, Y/N,” your mother warns gently. “He’s a star. And you know how bright they shine.”)
If this is how a star shines, you think, eyes trailing over Sunghoon, then I want him in every way possible.
“Thank you,” you say, smiling slightly.
“For what?”
You shrug and glance away from Sunghoon.
“Ah,” Sunghoon can read between the lines. He reaches for your hand and squeezes. “I’d do it again, Y/N.”
“Sunghoon?” You turn back to him. “You’d do what again?”
Sunghoon’s ears burn red. “Don’t make me say it, Y/N.”
You grip Sunghoon’s hand tightly. You don’t want to let this moment slip away like last time in the darkness of the broadcasting club’s recording booth. “Sunghoon,” you say, your eyes hold the unspoken desperation.
There’s a scrape of a chair being pushed back, and then Jongseong’s voice echoes through the room. No, you think, no, no no, this can’t be happening.
The moment is over. Sunghoon’s hand falls from your grip and you watch him slip away from you for the second time. You reach after him, but you capture nothingness.
“We need a phone,” Jongseong says, “and we need it now.”
The music flowing through the speakers shut off. An unsettling chill lingers in the room and everyone’s thinking the same thing; Joon. “We need a phone,” Jongseong repeats, “any ideas?”
Looks are shared and nothing is said. Jongseong groans, “come on. Give me something to work with here!”
“My phone,” Riki says, “it’s in Mrs. Jang’s room.”
Jaeyun snorts in amusement. “Now how did that happen, Riki?”
Riki scowls. “Apparently learning English is more important than Alice in Borderland.”
“Okay, and how far away is Mrs. Jang’s room?” Jongseong asks, looking slightly more alive ever since Riki’s announcement.
“Since we’re in the debate club’s meeting room,” Sunoo thinks aloud, “the floor beneath us.”
Jongseong looks at Riki and scowls. “And you didn’t let us know any sooner? We literally walked past her room on the way here, Riki! And Joon is probably there waiting for us!”
“No one asked,” Riki answered, “so I didn’t provide.”
“You’re going to be the reason for my death, mark my words.” Jongseong’s eyes fall on you and you feel uncomfortable. “Y/N. Joon can somehow command the Zombies to do whatever he wants, can’t you do that? Y’know, considering you’re like, half Zombie-half human or some shit like that.”
It’s a weird silence you sit in after Jongseong’s remark. “I mean. . It’s cool if you can’t though,” Jongseong chuckles awkwardly. You find you quite like this situation; Jongseong awkward beneath your bland stare, it’s a situation that should happen more often.
“Speaking of,” Heeseung pipes up, “shouldn’t we talk about what happened back there?”
“What is there to speak about?” Jungwon asks, “Y/N is a Zombie. But she’s also a human.”
“Clearly,” Heeseung responds, “we should also find Y/N a shirt, but what about Joon? How he came to be. . . That, is unknown and what he said? ‘Patient zero’? Isn’t that at least a little bit concerning?”
“Obviously Joon and Suyeon were some experiment,” Sunoo says, “gone wrong. And now everyone is paying the consequence.”
“Someone was probably trying to make a superhuman,” Jaeyun jokes, his eyes sparkling, “Y/N and Joon have enhanced strength, which is super cool, and Y/N even has enhanced healing! I would suspect Joon does too, but from his appearance. . I don’t think so.”
“Superhuman,” Jongseong mutters under his breath like it was the missing piece to a puzzle.
“Boring. Let’s talk about this later,” Riki says suddenly, “it’s getting dark. Who volunteers as tribute to go and grab my phone? It has a pink sparky case and a small little Yuuji sticker on it. From Jujutsu Kaisen. I say let Y/N go. She can self-heal and can push people off her and into lockers.” Riki winces after being on the receiving end of many glares. “Too soon for jokes?”
“It’s okay, Riki,” you wave him off, too tired to involve yourself into this conversation. “Wake me up when you make your decision, I’m feeling sleepy.”
“Right, of course,” Jaeyun hums, “obviously there are side effects. You can sleep, Y/N, we’ll make sure nothing disturbs you!”
You smile at Jaeyun, thankful.
——
When you come to, it’s pitch black. The only light source is a yellow-tinged light shining on Jungwon and Sunoo who are seated together and whispering to each other. The light is sourced from a flashlight, how they acquired said flashlight is unknown.
Sunoo catches your movements and beckons you over. You shuffle over to the two boy and carefully take a seat beside Sunoo, scared to wake up the sleeping bodies lying around the room. “Sleep well? Feeling any better, Y/N?” Sunoo’s words are kind, and his gaze is kinder.
“It was a good sleep. I’m feeling much more energized.”
“That’s good,” Jungwon says, “because Sunghoon’s the one who went to search for the phone.”
You stop breathing. “What?”
“He left an hour ago and he’s not back,” Jungwon informs you, the yellow-tinged light shining on Jungwon’s face makes the boy look older than he actually is. “Heeseung always says to not think of the worst, but I’m thinking of the worst right now.”
Images of Sunghoon lying on the ground in a puddle of his own blood flash through your mind. Images of Sunghoon as a Zombie flash through your mind. Images of Sunghoon with Joon’s hands wrapped around him flash through your mind. You can’t let Sunghoon slip through your grasp for the third and final time. You need Sunghoon safe and you’ve never needed anything this desperately before.
“I’ll go find him,” you say to Jungwon, your words oddly sounding like a goodbye. And a promise.
“Y/N --” Sunoo starts.
“Sunoo,” you cut him off. “Let me do this. Let me not feel like a burden for once.”
“Okay,” Sunoo whispers, “okay.”
You rise to your feet and pad over to the door. “Y/N,” Sunoo hisses through the dark, “be safe.”
You want to laugh at Sunoo’s words. Your palm touches the cool handle of the door and you gently slide it open, cold air from the hallway rushing into the room behind you. You begin to feel uneasy and goosebumps spread across your skin as you step out of the warm classroom and into the unknown. The last thing you see as you shut the classroom door is Jongseong staring at you.
You don’t know what to expect as you slowly walk down the dark hallway that’s only illuminated by the night sky. The moon and the stars hang above you, unintentionally guiding you to where Park Sunghoon lay. Keeping your hands pressed close to your chest and your eyes focused on your surroundings, you do your best to not bring attention to yourself by any means -- one noise and it’s all over for you. You wander down a familiar hallway that has become unfamiliar and you truly begin to question how this all happened; how easily your hometown succumbed to a Zombie apocalypse.
A loud bang shakes you out of your thoughts. It came from inside the classroom next to you and terror floods your senses. You hold your hands tighter against your chest and try to even out your breathing. There’s another bang and you quickly stride past the classroom, making your footfalls as quiet as possible.
Everything felt so off; not a single Zombie roaming down the hallway you were in, not a single Zombie chasing you down -- you were expecting the worst would come when you find Sunghoon. Your heart races at the thought of something bad happening to Sunghoon. You don’t want anything bad to happen to Sunghoon, he’s the only good thing you have left in your life right now.
You pad down the steps and enter the hallway Riki’s phone was supposed to be on. Here, you finally see the Zombies you were looking for. A sudden cold chill lays itself over your skin as you dare to enter the hallway crowded with Zombies.
Even though you know you shouldn’t, you hold your breath as you maneuver around the Zombies in complete silence. Sometimes, they let out random groans and it frightens you, but you keep your terrified shrieks contained within you. One single noise and you’re a goner.
You reach Ms. Jang’s office and a Zombie is blocking the door. Inhaling quietly, you step around the Zombie and reach for the cold silver doorknob. As you twist the doorknob it makes a shrill sound and you halt, not daring to move another inch. The Zombie right next to you lets out a groan and steps closer to you, their arm brushing yours and suddenly they’re latching onto your arm.
You can’t help it and cry out, ripping yourself out of the Zombie’s grasp and throwing yourself at the door. Growls fill the air and the Zombie in front of you begins to sniff, seeking out a smell. You could smell the death on the Zombie and begin to pray that this isn’t how your life ends -- you don’t want to be a Zombie because what happens then? You become Zombie and then what? Where does your soul go? Your conscious?
A tear trails down your cheek and the Zombie is stepping away, wandering back down the hallway and leaving you pressing up against the door, your hand curled around the doorknob. Without hesitation, you open the door and jump inside, letting the door shut gently behind you.
The first thing you see is Park Sunghoon lying on the ground, unresponsive -- but breathing. Immediately, you drop to your knees and shake the boy, “Sunghoon,” you whisper, not liking the odds of this situation. There’s a cut on his temple that’s bleeding. “Fuck sake. Sunghoon!” Your shaking gets more aggressive as each second passes and Sunghoon doesn’t shoot up, gasping for breath.
Desperate times call for desperate measures so you slap Sunghoon. You weren’t sure what you were expecting to get out of this action, but it certainly wakes Sunghoon up. His eyes fly open and his hand comes up to clutch his cheek. Scrambling to sit up, Sunghoon looks at you with wide eyes. “Did you just slap me?”
“What? Was I supposed to kiss you awake?”
It’s silent for a moment. “I mean. I wouldn’t have been opposed to a kiss, Y/N.”
You glare at Sunghoon and slap his bicep. “You are such an idiot! Why were you unconscious? And why are you bleeding? Sunghoon, what happened? We were -- I was worried.”
“Y/N, you -- you were worried?” Sunghoon asks, a little breathless.
You scowl and slap Sunghoon’s bicep again. “Are you even listening to me? What happened?”
“I got scared and fell over, hitting my head on the way down,” Sunghoon explains sheepishly. “I did dream of you saving me though, Y/N.”
“Dork. You’re a fucking clumsy dork, did you know that, Sunghoon?”
“A dork for you,” grins Sunghoon and you push him away, falling onto your bum and feeling hot, taken aback from Sunghoon’s sudden flirty nature.
“Consider us even, then,” you say, “you saved me and now I’m here to save you.”
Sunghoon’s smile is soft, a small dimple peeking in the curve of his cheek. “I have Riki’s phone, though, you ready to go?”
“What about your temple?” You gesture to Sunghoon’s head, “you’re bleeding, Sunghoon.”
“Don’t worry, Y/N, we’ll patch it up later. I don’t know about you, but I still feel uneasy being by ourselves and separated from the group. It’s better we get back quickly before Joon sniffs us out.”
You hum and stand up, holding out your hand for Sunghoon to take. His hand is warm in yours and you ignore the gentle squeeze he gives your hand as you pull open the door slowly. “Remember, be quiet,” you whisper to Sunghoon.
“Of course, Y/N.”
You both step out into the darkness.
The sight that awaits you both is unexpected. Suyeon’s body is sprawled out in the middle of the hallway, her eyes falling out of their sockets and her head smashed in. You immediately avert your eyes as your stomach lurches.
“Oh shit,” Sunghoon hisses, “her throat was slit. Gross. Do you think it was Joon who did this?” Sunghoon’s question is answered soon enough as Ahn Yujin steps out of the shadows, her black hair falling across her shoulders angellically, and bloody covering her hands and splattered across her face. In one of her bloodied hands, she holds a knife. “Oh shit,” Sunghoon repeats, but this time more terrified.
No words are spoken as Yujin charges towards you and as you push Sunghoon away. You weren’t going to let someone else die because of you. You willingly let Yujin’s knife enter your body as she flings her body into yours. You crash into a wall behind you and you hiss in pain, which turns into a bloody cough.
“Y/N!” Sunghoon calls out, but you ignore him.
“Yujin,” you croak, seeing humanity left in her eyes, “Yujin. Don’t do this.” You already know the stab wound is futile, you could feel your wound healing around the knife still stuck in your body. It’s a weird sensation, one you can’t describe.
Yujin twists the knife and you cry out, your hand reaching for Yujin’s hair you tug hard, momentarily taking the girl off guard. You push her away and rip the knife out of your stomach, blood splattering the ground and you hear Sunghoon gasp.
Yujin growls and charges again. You muster up all the strength you have and backhand her, flinging Yujin into the wall. There’s a loud crack and Yujin slumps to the ground, blood trailing down the wall to her slumped figure, her head hanging.
You reach for Sunghoon’s hand again. “Let’s go.” Sunghoon doesn’t hesitate and you both fly down the hallway, not caring if you were loud enough for the Zombies to find you.
—-
To stay the other’s were surprised that you didn’t come back with just Sunghoon and Riki’s phone would be an understatement. The bloodied knife was handed off to Heeseung, and Jungwon had simply sighed, shaking his head. “We really need to get you a new top, Y/N,” Jongseong says, “maybe like a whole pack because you like ruining clothes, don’t you?”
“It’s not like I chose to be stabbed,” you huff bitterly.
In the midst of all of this, Riki falls to his knees and cries out. Instantly, you all fear the worst. “What? What happened, Riki?” Jaeyun asks, his eyes wide and his hand coming to pet Riki’s head. “Is everything okay?”
“My Yuuji sticker!” Riki cries, “it’s not here!”
Sunoo mimics strangling the boy with wild gestures and Sunghoon snorts. “That sucks, but we got a phone for a reason. Don’t let me going unconscious for a few minutes and Y/N getting stabbed by some psycho girl to all go to vain.”
“It wasn’t a few minutes, Sunghoon!” You exclaim, whacking the boy again, “it was an hour!”
“It felt like minutes to me,” Sunghoon shrugs, “though I would love to wake up to your face more often.” The silence that follows after that declaration is awkward.
“Right,” Jungwon says, ripping Riki’s phone out of the crying boy’s hands. “Let’s see what the internet is saying, shall well?” A few seconds later Jungwon is groaning, “why is everything in Japanese? Jongseong? A little help?”
“But it’s Riki’s --” Jongseong cuts himself off as he looks at the unresponsive, crying boy curled up on the ground and Jaeyun hovering beside him awkwardly. “Right.”
“Well?” Sunoo says after a few seconds of silence, “what does it say?”
“It’s loading, Sunoo, patience,” Jongseong snaps, glaring at the younger.
“Old people are so slow,” Sunoo moans.
“You brat --”
“Translate for us, Jongseong,” Jungwon cuts off the older boy, thrusting the phone into his grasp.
Jongseong’s eyes trail over the phone screen in front of him. “Well, the electricity and power and phone service is getting cut off in twenty-one hours.” A heavy silence settles over the group, “so, that means we’ll have no contact to the outside world in twenty-one hours.”
“Well that fucking sucks,” Sunghoon mumbles from next to you.
“Hurry up then, Jongseong,” Sunoo rushes, “see who is still alive. And where the nearest quarantine zone is. I want to get out of here and see my family!”
“Alright, alright,” Jongseong sighs, “get comfortable, it’s going to be a long night. Did you happen to bring a charger with you, Sunghoon? Y/N?”
The two of you share a look. “Uh. . We were supposed to?” Sunghoon replies.
“Airhead. We have two fucking airheads in this group,” Jongseong grumbles and Jungwon comforts him with a look of amusement.
Ignoring Jongseong, you take Sunghoon’s hand into yours again. “Let’s get you patch up, dork, where’s the first aid kit again, Heeseung?” After Heeseung points you in the direction of the first aid kit, and you settle onto the floor a bit away from the group with Sunghoon, you get to work on cleaning up the cut to Sunghoon’s temple.
“How clumsy are you, Sunghoon?” You mutter, slightly amused. “How were you able to hit your head that hard?”
“I get scared easily!” Sunghoon defends himself, pouting slightly. “You would too! Being all alone, surrounded by Zombies and with the threat of a murdererous weird Zombie-person running around hanging over your head!”
You snort and shake your head, tilting Sunghoon’s head to the side slightly. “But,” Sunghoon continues, his voice more softer. “Thank you. For saving me. Twice. The slap wasn’t nice, though.”
“I was desperate, okay,” You say, scowling, “and worried. And concerned -- you weren’t waking up, Sunghoon.”
“I know. And I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize Sunghoon. This might hurt.”
Sunghoon hisses and you send him a smile in apology. “You care about me, Y/N?”
“Of course I do,” you mutter, “you are all I have left. And the others.”
“But mostly me?” Sunghoon smiles a cheeky smile and you scowl, purposefully pushing down on his cut harder.
“Don’t push it, Park.”
Sunghoon reaches up and pinches your waist, making your yelp in surprise. “Sunghoon! I’m cleaning your wound! Don’t make me make it worse on purpose!”
Sunghoon laughs. It’s the laugh you’ve been dying to hear ever since you were fourteen. His smile is wide across his and his eyes crinkle up. He really shines like a star in moments like these. You can’t help but smile, it’s all soft and fond, and love is what makes your smile curve wider. He’s a star that’s shining for you.
“I like it when you laugh, Sunghoon,” you blurt.
Sunghoon holds eye contact with you for what feels like the longest time. “I like it when you smile, Y/N. And I like it when you get so focused your tongue pokes out of your mouth. And I like it when you blow your hair out of your face. And I like your eyes, especially when you’re laughing and I -- I just like you, Y/N.” Hesitancy spreads across Sunghoon’s face and he averts his eyes, cheeks turning a soft red. “I know this is all sudden but -- but you’re not a burden, Y/N, and I hope you don’t think of yourself as one. I care about you, Y/N, and I want you with me, Y/N, that what I wanted to say that night in the recording booth. If I didn’t want you with me, then I wouldn’t have pulled you away when I did.”
The cold, jarring truth strikes you. Sunghoon could’ve left you to die, but he didn’t.
“I want you with me, Y/N, all the time,” Sunghoon admits, more certain of himself now. “So, thank you. For saving me. For patching me up. For being with me.”
“How could I not?” You respond, shaking your head and laughing breathlessly, “you’re all I think about.”
“Y/N --”
“I wasn’t joking when I said you were all I had left. Seeun’s a Zombie and my mother probably is too.” Your voice quivers and you sniff, Sunghoon’s stare getting too intimate for you, so you glance at a spot over his shoulder. “Please don’t leave me either, because I don’t plan on leaving you.”
“Y/N,” Sunghoon whispers, “why would I ever leave you?”
That’s all it takes for you to dissolve into a sea of tears. Sunghoon wraps you up into his arms and holds you close to his chest, his hand gliding through your hair, over the nape of your neck, and down your back.
“Y/N,” Sunghoon cups your chin and tilts your head up, wiping your tears away, his eyes soothe you. “I know this might be a bad time, but there’s nothing better than the present. Can I kiss you? I’ve always wanted to kiss you, did you know that?”
Your heart skips a beat. All the air is knocked out of your lungs. Sunghoon is a star. He’s unbelievable. He makes wishes ceom true. “Sunghoon,” you whisper, “you don’t even have to ask.”
Sunghoon kisses you and the world explodes. His lips are warm. Everything about Sunghoon is warm. He makes you feel warm. He makes you feel special. Sunghoon makes you feel less alone. Sunghoon settles you onto his lap, an arm slipping around your waist while the other cradles the back of your head. He keeps you close to his chest as your mouths move.
Maybe suriving the apocalypse is worth it since it brought you to the exact moment; Sunghoon kissing you.
“Wait,” Sunghoon’s pulling away, sounding breathless, “you like me too, right?”
You giggle. “I like you too, dork,” and you pull him back in for a kiss.
—-
Having a phone works wonders. Jongseong finds out where the nearest quarantine zone is, and he finds out that the apocalypse has spread throughout your small province. Jongseong also found out damning news; in forty eight hours, the school and everything around it would be blown up by bombs dropped from the skies above.
“We need to move quickly,” Jungwon addresses the group. “Today, we need to leave the school and get to the forest. From there, we’ll hopefully have some cover, and be able to reach the zone a couple hours before the bombs are expected to drop, but we have to move quickly.”
“I will move the quickest out of anyone in the group,” Sunoo proclaims confidently. “I want to get out of this hell hole.”
So with the first rays of sunlight peeking through, you and the seven boys move out of the classroom, a backpack strapped to Heeseung and Jungwon’s backs full of enough food and water to make the eight of you last the two day journey.
“At the first sign of Joon, just run,” Heeseung tells the group gravely, “we don’t have time to engage with him. He’ll be blown up shortly anyway.”
As you pass through the hallway where you were stabbed by Yujin, your hand in Sunghoon’s warm embrace, you find her body missing. You share a glance with Sunghoon but neither of you point it out the rest of the group, not wanting to unsettle the happy mood everyone was in today.
Today was full of luck. Everyone was silent and you were all able to easily slip past Zombies. The knife you hold in your free hand didn’t need to be used. Your new t-shirt was bright white and clear of blood. It made you feel good, feeling slightly clean.
You reach the school gym in no time, finding it clear of all Zombies. There, you decide to take a rest, and Jungwon decides to call Kang Taehyun. The dialing tone rings throughout the gym and it’s picked up seconds before the last dial tone rings.
“Riki?” Taehyun asks in disbelief.
“Taehyun,” Jungwon cries out, tears welling in his eyes. “You’re okay.”
“Won,” Taehyun repeats, still in disbelief. “You’re okay? Oh my god, what about the other’s --” a loud clamor takes over Taehyun’s side of the phone. You hear the familiar voices of Yeonjun, and Soobin, and Beomgyu, and Kai. The boys on Jungwon’s side of the phone all crowd around the phone and everything is a mess. (A happy mess, you think.)
After the phone call ends with promises of seeing enach other soon, Jungwon looks over at you. “Y/N? Do you have anyone to call?”
You smile and shake your head. “I have no one, Jungwon.”
“Oh, sorry I asked,” Jungwon seems a little embarrassed and you laugh him off with a wave of your hand.
“It’s okay. Thank you for asking, though.”
“You have us, Y/N,” Sunoo says with a smile. “You’ll always have us, now. Our bond is thicker than blood!”
You laugh, “thank you, Sunoo. I’m glad I have you.”
—-
It rains that night. It pours, but Jungwon doesn’t let up. Loud thunder booms through the sky and the lightning lights up the darkness. You continue to creep around the Zombies in silence, the storm masking any loud noise you make. The storm was a blessing in disguise.
You had entered the forest a few hours ago but none of you had wanted to stop, especially as it began to rain. You all wanted to reach the quarantine zone desperately, already tired from all the running and surviving you had been doing.
Sunghoon squeezes your hand. “Are you doing okay, Y/N?” His voice was close to your ear.
You squeeze back. “Yeah!” You shout over the storm, and that’s when you somehow catch a glimpse of it. A white ribbon. Your breathe stutters and you stumble over, Sunghoon keeping you upright. “Seeun,” you breathe. She moves carelessly through the forest, stumbling over like many of the Zombies you had seen do before. You face the truth you had subconsciously been denying this whole time; Seeun’s a Zombie.
Slipping out of Sunghoon’s grasp and ignoring everyone’s loud calls, you walk over to Seeun. You need to see her one last time. You need to say your apologies one last time, and if you die trying, then so be it. You reach within an arms length distance of Seeun and watch her stumble about quietly. “I’m sorry,” you shout over the storm. “I’m sorry, Seeun.”
She turns towards you and snarls, stumbling forward and stopping in front of you. She copies the movements of the Zombie who you stood face-to-face with in front of Ms. Jang’s office. She sniffs the surrounding area of your body, and then turns away. She lets you live, like that other Zombie did.
Turning back around, your eyes meet Sunghoon’s and the sympathy he holds make tears slip down your cheeks. No one says anything when you return to the group and stick yourself to Sunghoon’s side.
The further you all went into the city you grew up in, the further reality sinks in. Zombies fill every nook and cranny, and the loneliness of the city makes your skin crawl. You all push on, and your eventually have to begin to hide and use your knife as the Zombies become more ruthless and pick up on every small sound.
You grow tired, but you still push on. With Sunghoon beside you, holding you and keeping you safe every step of the way provides you with the strength and energy to push on.
“Would you believe me if I said I was looking for you that day, Y/N?” Sunghoon asks during one of your short breaks, his finger twirling your hair.
“I don’t know. Were you?” You respond, smiling.
“Well. I was looking for any sign of an adult, and also for weapons, but when I saw you, Y/N, all I thought about was keeping you alive and safe.”
You melt against Sunghoon, your head resting on his shoulder. “I like you a lot, Sunghoon,” you whisper, “and maybe if we weren’t in a situation like this, we could be going on a date right now.”
“What kind of date?” Sunghoon asks, oddly interested.
“We’d go ice skating,” you say, “because you’re good at ice skating and I’m shit. You would help me skate, and we’d hold hands, and then we’d go eat something warm and spicy. You’ll make me laugh, and I’ll make you laugh, then you’ll take me home and kiss me goodnight.”
Sunghoon kisses you temple. He doesn’t say anything and you just bask in the silence and the warmth of Sunghoon. “That’s if either of us confessed,” Sunghoon says, “because I don’t think I would’ve ever confessed.”
“Me either,” you admit. “You felt so out of my league, and I never had your attention, so the thought of confessing frightened me.”
Sunghoon laughs and you peer up at him, perplexed. “What’s so funny?”
“You always had my attention, Y/N,” Sunghoon says, and he kisses you.
—-
You reach the quarantine zone and you’re met with guns pointed at you. With your hands raised, you all shuffle into a line and are being tested with a thermometer device. It’s raining again and you shiver, missing the warmth of Sunghoon’s hand holding yours.
“What are you doing?” Jongseong asks the soldier.
“A colder temperature means you’re a Zombie,” the soldier informs Jongseong.
“But what if someone is sick?” Jongseong asks, “then what if you’re leaving someone out to die?”
The soldier smiles, but it isn’t a nice smile. “Would you like me to show you what happens when this thing identifies a Zombie, and then what we do after?”
Jongseong’s immediately shaking his head.
Sunghoon’s herded into the zone before you, and the smile he sends you is a sweet one. It calms you down as only thoughts of Joon’s words fill your head. You hope you’re able to pass this test. You hope you’re able to live a relatively normal with Sunghoon by your side.
But, luck runs out at some point.
A high pitched squealng sound emits from the thermometer device and the world shifts and everything happens at once.
“She’s a Zombie!” The soldier yells, raising his gun and pointing it at you.
“Y/N!” Sunghoon shouts, running to you, his arms wrapping you up as more soldiers swarm the area. “Y/N, everything will be okay, the device probably made a mistake, they just need to do it again --”
“Sunghoon.” You cut him off.
“No,” he says, “I can’t lose you, Y/N, you said you wouldn’t leave me.”
“I don’t want to leave you, Sunghoon,” you admit, “but I have to.”
“How are you so calm about this?” Sunghoon asks, his voice low, “I feel so desperate, Y/N, I feel desperate enough to kill --”
“I was expecting the worst, Hoon.”
Sunghoon stares at you. There are so many emotions flooding his face, your stomach churns. Suddenly, he’s ripped away from you and he struggles, calling out your name. “Y/N! I love you! I love you, and I’d save you again. I’d save you again and again if I had the choice.”
You did your best to keep your tears at bay. You couldn’t have them falling over now. You couldn’t cry. You had to remain strong, even with a gun pointed at your head.
Sunghoon breaks free from the soldier’s grasp and flings himself into your embrace again, clutching you close.
The rain falls harder, soaking you both to the bone.
“Y/N, I love you,” he kisses you so passionately and desperately it makes your heart break. “And I’ll come for you. I’ll find you, Y/N, I promise. I promise that once I find you, I’ll take you ice skating and catch you every time you fall.”
“Of course you will,” you laugh as the tears begin to fall. “You’ll always catch me, no matter what, Hoon.”
“And we’ll be the happiest people on earth, Y/N.”
“Of course we will, Hoon,” you say softly, cupping Sunghoon’s face, “you will always make me the happiest.”
Sunghoon’s ripped away from you and you instantly shiver, the cold overwhelming you. “I’ll find you, Y/N!” Sunghoon shouts, his words tearing your heart apart. “I promise I will!”
You watch as Sunghoon and the rest of the six boys are pulled away from view. You refuse to look at the others because it’ll only break your heart more.
A gun is pointed at your head.
You close your eyes.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper to whoever is listening. “Please forgive me.”
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author’s note, well that was wild and crazy and goofy and im sorry if the pacing seems rushed but i wrote most of this at 1/2/3am when i was tired and sad and completely delusional. there are lots of unanswered plot points like omg what happened to joon?? and suyeon?? and yujin?? why was she so crazy🤣🤣 and how did the infection start?? and did y/n really die?? and i left some of those points unanswered in case i ever decide to write a part two in the future..Gasp😨😨 anyway. i hope u enjoyed reading this mess. i hope u love it😆😆
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flemingsfreckles · 19 days
Text
Physio’s Daughter pt 3
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Jessie Fleming x Reader
Read part 1, and part 2
Warnings: some arguing, some cursing
WC: 3.2k
A/N: hi, I think this is going to have 1 more part, maybe 2 if I end up with enough writing for it.
“Am I really that bad of a flirt that you thought all those conversations we had were strictly professional?”
“What?” Sounding like a stuck record you repeat yourself. You couldn’t believe the sentence you had just heard come from Jessie’s mouth.
“Do your other coworkers offer you their jacket? And stay late to talk with you?” She’s staring at you like you’re an idiot, like you should have known she had a crush on you. She’s acting as if she was walking around with a sign with it spelled out for you and you were in the wrong for not knowing.
You’re skeptical, there was no way she was actually interested in you. Your Mom was right, you didn’t have a career yet, you were so much younger than her, you were her physio, she was a professional athlete with her whole life sorted out. Maybe this was a test, maybe your Mom had sent her in here to see what you would do. Maybe she was joking with you, maybe she knew you had a crush and she was teasing you. Seeing if she could make a fool of you. You’re so lost in your own thoughts you lose track of time.
“I’m going to go. I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything, pretend I didn’t.” Jessie’s soft voice breaks your mental spiral. She pushes her chair back starting to stand up.
“No, wait.” You put out a hand to stop her. “Sorry, I just, it's a lot to process.” You’re not sure what to say next, she sits back down and you both sit there looking at each other.
“Why didn’t you just say something before?” The question comes out of your mouth as nearly a whisper.
“Because like you, I've also been told it’s unprofessional to date a teammate, let alone a staff member, my whole life.” She adds a small sigh, her breath moving some of the hairs that had fallen in front of her face out of the way. “Plus I couldn’t tell if you were feeling the same. You spent a lot of time with me but I couldn’t tell if you were just doing your job or if you were too nervous to tell me to shut my mouth and leave you alone.”
“I was, I do feel the same, it’s just, it’s complicated.” You sigh, you know you’re about to open yourself to the complexity of having mutual feelings, when you both know you shouldn’t. “It’s just, this is my job and you’re Jessie Fleming.” Your hands gesture up and down her body. You notice a small blush come across her face. “Plus, like you I figured this is your job, you were forced to spend time with me, how was I supposed to know it was by choice? I’m just a student trainer, so I thought why would you have any interest in me when you can have anyone.”
“Because, in the best way possible, you treat me like I’m not Jessie Fleming.” She puts air quotes up when she says her own name. “You just treat me like a regular person. You ask about my family, you ask about my aspirations, you ask about my favorite places to visit and where I want to go. Most people ask me about soccer and sure it’s nice but what’s even nicer is not feeling like I have to be a professional athlete all the time for someone to be interested in me.”
Not sure what to say, you stand up to throw out your coffee cup that you had essentially chugged in the past few minutes using sips of the drink to calm your nerves. Instead of returning to your seat you take a place leaning against the wall, off to the side of Jessie, looking down at her as she remains in her seat. You were too restless to sit back down.
You let out a sigh as you let your back hit the wall. Conflicted between the two sides of the situation. You could tell her you can’t see her, tell her it’s unprofessional, inappropriate. Or you could tell her you want to try this. You let your head fall back gently against the wall, you shut your eyes trying to get a clear thought through your head. Your hands are balled into tight fists at your side, both out of nerves and frustration, unsure of what to do.
When you lower your head back down and open your eyes you come face to face with Jessie. While your brain was screaming between your choices she had abandoned her chair to stand in front of you. You jump a bit, startled by her presence.
“Hi.” Her smile is infectious, she says hello as if she’s just greeting you, as if she hadn’t just confessed to having feelings for you.
“Hi.” It’s a breathless response to her but you’re at a loss for any other words. You do exactly what you know you shouldn’t, you subtly ask her to kiss you, breaking your eye contact to look down at her lips, your own tongue coming out to wet your lips. By the time you go to make eye contact with her again she’s already moving in toward you.
Her lips are on yours, your brain is short circuiting, her body is gently pressed to yours, your back against the wall of your office. The kiss was gentle, her lips softly melting into yours, it couldn't have been more perfect. You could taste her coffee on her lips, as she could likely taste yours. She smelled sweet, her hair, not pulled back like usual, softly brushed against your cheek as if bounced from her forward movement. Your hands found themselves placed on her hips where you could feel her shirt was tucked into her joggers. You couldn’t tell if the kiss lasted 2 seconds or 20 minutes, your concept of time completely thrown by her actions.
“Hey we need you upstairs-” the door opens, the voice of your Mom coming through as she comes to grab you for an impromptu meeting. She was expecting to see you at your desk finishing paperwork, or just on your phone. Not expecting to see the team captain pinning her daughter to the wall of the office.
Jessie pulls away out of surprise, turning toward the door, taking a couple of steps back from you so your bodies are no longer up against each other. You do the same, only you’re against the wall and unable to back up from her, you stumble slightly as you try to move, cursing yourself for not previously locking the door. If she hadn’t already seen the two of you, from the way you scattered from each other it was obvious what you both had previously been doing.
“Are you kidding me?” Your Mom shouts. She’s only looking at you, not acknowledging Jessie’s presence. You knew she wasn’t going to yell at Jessie, but you knew you were about to wish you had called in sick today.
“I’m going to go.” Jessie mutters under her breath before awkwardly rushing to grab her coffee off your desk and passing around your Mom to leave, she doesn’t look back as she turns the corner.
You can’t bring yourself to look anywhere but your feet. You can feel the anger radiating off of your Mom.
“Sit down.” She instructs you, she’s talking through her teeth, pointing at your desk chair. You obey, keeping your head pointed at the floor. She stands across from you. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
You don’t know what to say or what to do besides sit unresponsive to her. Blinking rapidly you try to comprehend that Jessie had just kissed you, and also that your Mom had walked in seeing her kissing you.
“Fucking look at me when I’m talking to you.” Slowly lifting your eyes, your Mom is standing glaring, arms crossed, face red. “What the fuck are you doing? I just told you, you can’t be messing with her and you said there was nothing going on! Now I walk into her practically defiling you against the wall? So what, did you fucking lie to me before? You know how I feel about lying.”
“I didn’t lie before.” Lying was the one thing your Mom hated the most, you learned that as a kid. You didn’t lie to her, you didn’t lie to anyone, you were often honest to a fault. In this case it was the truth, or at least your truth, before it hadn’t crossed a completely unprofessional line, when your Mom had questioned you in the car, nothing had been going on. Now it had, you had kissed, that crossed the line into unprofessional.
“It’s one thing to have a little crush, you cannot be having sex in your work office.”
“Don’t be dramatic.” You couldn’t believe you had to be having this conversation with your Mom, you had hardly been able to wrap your brain around the fact that Jessie had feelings for you and that she had just kissed you. “It was just a kiss.”
“She had you against the wall. So help me god, if you fuck up this opportunity, I will be so pissed.” Her hands come down hard on your desk. You know that if Jessie or any other player was in the training room they’re hearing every word that she was screaming at you. “I’ve worked my ass off to get to where I am, and I was able to get you this job, if you mess up, it’ll come back on me!”
“I’m not going to fuck up this opportunity. You are so fixated on Jessie and I that you ignore all the good work I do! You don’t acknowledge that I’ve been helpful, that I was able to get Jessie back to playing, I help out the team, but you’re so fucking focused on my personal life you don’t see it! Mark sees it! He likes my work, he acknowledges me. He actually appreciates me, you don’t!” Now you’re yelling back, adding to your list of unprofessional actions today. You know you shouldn’t be yelling at her, she was looking out for you.
“I see the work you do but I’m not going to congratulate you when you clean up, that’s your job. But yes I’m focused on your inappropriate work relationship. I don’t want to see you ruin your life because you want to kiss a pretty girl.”
“She’s not going to ruin my life Mom.”
“She can. She’s the captain of this team. You realize that's a huge deal right? Do you know what it’ll look like if it came out that she was sleeping with the student on the training staff? That’ll ruin your future and tarnish her reputation.”
“I’m a student but I’m an adult mom, it’s not like I’m a 17 year old student. I’m an adult! I can make my own decisions.”
“Yes you’re an adult but this is work! You don’t get to make any choice you want, there are rules and paperwork and protocols you have to go through to do what you’re doing. It’s not as easy as the two of you deciding to make out. There are rules to protect you and to protect her, you two need to respect that. I have half a brain to drag her back in here and give her the same talk, but I won’t. You’re lucky I’m not up in Mark's office telling him to reconsider the offer you’ll be getting to take you to Paris with the team. You cannot be seeing her while you work on this team.”
“Okay.” Agreeing to your Mom’s statement but also not wanting to. You didn’t want to have to ignore Jessie again. You wanted to sit by her, talk with her, share smiles across the room, and you definitely were interested in kissing her more. But you also knew she was right, it was unprofessional, at least while you were still working for the team as a temporary student, regardless of age. There were policies, it was only right that you, and Jessie both follow them and odds are the Captain of the team isn’t about to go marching into the HR office to declare that she just made out with you in your office.
“Just so you know, I didn’t lie before. I promise, that was the first time.” Hoping it’ll ease your Mom’s anger a bit you try and explain the situation.
“Now, we’re both going to be late, thanks for that. We have a quick meeting upstairs.” She ignores your statement, and turns to leave. You follow her out of the room, thankful to see no one was in the training room and hopefully no one else had heard your screaming match.
When you walk into the conference room it’s both a mix of team and staff. You can feel Jessie’s eyes on you and your Mom as you both walk in. Even though no one knew what had just happened in your office, you couldn’t help but feel like somehow everyone knew. You could feel your cheeks turning red, taking a quick glance in Jessie’s direction she gives you a sympathetic smile.
You’re not even sure what the meeting was all about, talks of Paris, talks of getting enough sleep, talks of staying in communication with each other, all go in one ear out the other. It’s like a fog has covered your head, you’re unable to grasp anything being said by the coaching staff, by the training staff, by the players. After a couple of hours the meeting is dismissed. Everyone begins to clear out of the room. You stay sitting, drawing circles onto your notepad, not a single note from the meeting written down. A couple of the players say goodbye to you on their way out of the room, you give them a quick acknowledgment and well wishes, Jessie leaves without saying anything to you.
Mark makes his way over to you, placing his hand on the top of your pen, stopping your mindless scribbling.
“Do you have a minute?”
“Yeah, I’ve got to help finish packing up but yes, I have a second.”
“I want you to come with the team to Paris. Is that something you’d be interested in? I understand it’s a large commitment, about two months of your time.”
“That would be incredible, I’d love the opportunity.” You’d get to travel, just like Jessie had said.
“That’s great, there’s some paperwork that’ll come with that, I’ll have the administration send it over for you to look at and sign. Since youlll be staying with us, I’d like you to continue your check-ins with Fleming. Keeping her up to date with the girls statuses as they have a few weeks away from camp. Is that something you can do?”
It takes everything in you to not immediately say yes, of course you wanted the excuse to talk to the girl but you shouldn’t, you know you shouldn’t, you shouldn’t be given the chance to have private conversations with her anymore.
“I can, I think it would maybe be beneficial to have someone more senior on the team involved though, just since I’ve never seen how things operate not in the camp setting.” Making the mature choice, you try to incorporate someone else into your chats to make them professional.
“That’s fine with me, I’ll check with some of the team and see who can help you out getting comfortable with that. We really appreciated your help at this camp, it was nice having you, a lot of the girls were appreciative of you too.”
“Thank you, Mark. I learned a lot. I’m looking forward to Paris.” You stand up and shake his hand before he heads out of the room. You grab your note pad tearing off the top page with scribbling across it and you toss it into the trash as you walk out of the conference room.
“Hey.” You hear and feel her as Jessie grabs your wrist. She had been waiting against the wall outside the door. Looking around nervously at who might see you two you shake your wrist from her grip.
She doesn’t even begin to talk before you start, “Jessie we can’t, what happened in my office cannot happen again.” You try and keep your voice low, not wanting to alert anyone around you.
“I know. I crossed a line, it won’t happen again. I’m sorry. I’m also really sorry your Mom saw and I’m really sorry for whatever happened after I walked out.”
“Just a lot of yelling.” You kick your left shoe with your right, feeling uncomfortable at the mix of tension and guilt sitting in the air between the two of you. “She was mad, especially after I told you what she had told me already.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, it’s on me. I’m the older person here, I’ve been around this team longer, I should know better. I can tell your Mom that, if that’ll help. I can tell her it was all me.”
“I’d maybe avoid her, if you can help it. She thinks you were trying to ‘defile’ me against the office wall. And naturally she isn’t too happy about walking in on that.” A small laugh escapes as you quote your Mom’s words back to Jessie. Now that the initial fear of your Mom’s wrath is gone you found slight humor in the situation.
“Oh no.” Jessie’s hand comes to cover her mouth and the blush on her cheeks spreads.
“Yeah. At least you’ll be able to avoid her for a couple weeks until preparation for Paris starts.” Trying to make light of the situation. You can see Jessie is still a little uneasy about it.
“I guess.”
A silence falls between the two of you. Both standing in the hallway looking at each other. Knowing you both wanted each other but also both knowing you couldn’t have each other.
“I should go, have some packing up to do.” You point in the direction of the stairs that lead to the training room.
“Okay, so are we friends?” She asks you. The question is so innocent but it tugs at your heartstrings. You want to be able to tell her you’re friends but you can’t.
“I mean, maybe just coworkers for now? We can figure out if friendship is an option later. Once this all settles.”
“Right, that’s smart. So I’ll see you at the next camp then?” You can tell she looks a bit upset at your answer, but she accepts it.
“See you then Jessie.” You turn from her, it felt sad leaving her, knowing it would be weeks before you saw her in person again.
“Bye.” You hear her shout after you as you turn to go down the staircase. Hearing her call after you makes a smile break across your face. You knew you’d see her soon but you knew it wouldn’t feel nearly soon enough.
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zwedexx · 2 months
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"No ets una càrrega"
Barca Femeni x Teen Reader
Summary: request
TW: none
WC: 899
A/N: None of it is proof read and im am really sick rn so there will probably be alot of mistakes. Also I took some creative liberties ig with the request. I'm sorry if you don't like it. I can always rewrite later on.
You are draped in the familiar stripes of your Barca jersey. It was everything you wanted, everything you work so hard for and you were blowing it. You kept missing passes or being a second too late on your runs. You could hear the collective sighs of the crowd after each mistake you made. 
It all came to a head when you execute what should’ve been a routine pass. The pass was short and was intercepted by an alert opposing player. In a sloppy attempt to halt the opposition, you kick the back of her legs, sending her tumbling. The ref immediately blowed her whistle and showed you yellow. 
“Are you fucking serious. That’s not a yellow! She fucking dove. You can’t be- ” You spat at the ref before being pulled back by a pair of strong arms. 
“Calmat! No val la pena.” Mapi’s words were strong but weren’t enough to bring you out of your rage.
(Calm down! It's not worth it)
“Let go of me Mapi. I’m not a fucking child. This ref is blind as shit and needs to fucking hear it.”
The ref without hesitation reach into her pocket. Alexia and Irene had run in at this point, pleading with the ref to reconsider. You knew you had fucked up when you say the second yellow then red. Not only had you harmed your team with your horrid performance but you’d just burdened them to finish a game a player down. 
After being escorted off the field, the weight of disappointment settled on your shoulders, and as the door closed behind you, a wave of frustration and tears overwhelmed you. You couldn’t believe how stupid and useless you were. Nothing seemed to make sense, you had trained so hard but it wasn’t enough. You weren’t good enough. You needed to be better.
You found yourself in gym, it was the only thing that made sense. If you trained harder, you’d be better. It was straightforward, clear cut. 
Unbeknownst to you, Alexia, Mapi, and Ingrid observe from a distance, concern etched on their faces. After the match they went looking for you, worried because you were no longer in the locker room. In a way you were lucky they were there. You had been sprinting on the treadmill as fast as you could. After a couple of minutes you felt dizzy, your legs were starting to give in but you kept going. And you kept going. 
‘Keep going, keep going.” You muttered to yourself
As the treadmill relentlessly propels you forward, your breaths become ragged, and your legs wobble beneath you. In a sudden, unexpected moment, your knees buckle, and the world tilts. Just as the gym floor rushes up to meet you, someones arms wrap around you, preventing a painful collision. 
Ingrid's firm grip supports your weight, preventing a full collapse, while Mapi and Alexia rush to your side. Concern etched on their faces deepens into genuine worry. Ingrid, with her characteristic calm, reassures you, “Relax elskling, I’ve got you.”
It must have been a few moments when you woke up again. You were no longer in the gym, you were lying on a couch with your head laying on Mapi’s lap. 
“Oh Pequena, you are okay.” Alexia says in her best English
You sat up. You didn’t know what to say. 
“Què està passant? Per què et vas empènyer així?” Alexia asks gently, reverting back to her native Catalan
(What's going on. Why did you push yourself like that.)
You avoided their eyes, unable to say respond, your words choked by shame and frustration. 
“You don’t have to carry this alone. We’re here for you, no matter what elskling.” Ingrid adds, while grabbing your hand.
With a shaky breath, you finally open up, your voice tinged with frustration and vulnerability. “I just.. I want this so badly. And tonight, I felt like ai was letting everyone down. I felt useless, and I thought if I train harder, push myself, I could make up for it and get better.”
“Entenc-“
(I understand-)
“But you don’t understand Alexia. You’re la Reina, you are the best and you deserve to be here. I don’t, im a liability out there. Every misplaced pass, every late run, it felt like I was letting the entire team down.”
“You deserve to be here too. Jonatan picked you for a reason.” Ingrid adds
“You don’t get it! No matter how hard I try, it’s never enough. I’m sick of feeling like a burden. Sick of failing when it matters.” 
“No ets una càrrega. Estem aquí perquè creiem en tu i en el que ets capaç.” Mapi chimes in while wrapping her arm around your shoulders, her touch grounding.
(You're not a burden. We're here because we believe in you and what you are capable of.)
“I just… I don’t know how to fix this.”
“No cal que arregleu això sol. Estem aquí per a tu.” Alexia calmly tells you.
(You don’t need to fix this alone. We are here for you.)
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mandalhoerian · 11 months
Note
Shai! Shai! I've thought of another scenario for Leon😊 Altho being a new fan I've come to the conclusion that Leon is the type to believe he's not good enough for his partner, he believes they could do better then him. So imagine a Leon who has finally accepted he has feelings for you and works up the courage to confess only for you to turn the tables on him and say you dont feel good enough for him. I imagine he would be in disbelief? How would he react to his crush telling him "You're too good for me Leon."?
too good for me | leon kennedy x reader
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pairing: leon kennedy x reader (unspecified gender) genre: fluff, miscommunication, the "endeared badass x normal person scared shitless of the endeared badass" trope. no spice, unfortunately. only good vibes and leon being head over heels smitten. enjoy! word count: 2.7K? It's short! notes: hi sarah! i am SO SORRY this has taken forever. you requested this one month ago! its been so hectic lately, i've been having health problems that required regular hospital visits and tests upon tests, but now that my surgery (yeah i know... yikes) is authorized i'm only waiting for them to call me for the date and have all the time in the world to get my rest and write. i'm also working on your other (wink wink) request! thank you so much for being patient with me. hope this is what you had in mind! i also added my touch and ideas to it lmao. happy reading!!
🌀 read on ao3!
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“You’re too good for me,” is the hesitant, small answer you give him while avoiding eye contact and playing with your fingers in front of your office’s shared coffee maker Leon had made countless paperwork excuses to be able to simply stop by — to his question, that is, about why you wouldn’t go on a simple date with him. 
You puff out an awkward laugh to smooth things over as humorous but it’s forced and not at all sincere. 
It’s taken Leon a whole inner journey (Spain. Mostly the simultaneous trauma and catharsis of Spain) to get over himself to recognize what his heart truly wanted but was too pussy to look at before, yet here you two are. The lone angel in his life telling the failure Leon is that he’s too good? For you?
He simply stares, dumbly standing there, piping hot coffee that’s actually incompatible with his taste buds he insists he must do a detour to get from here simply because you often do, stiff and awkward in his hold, thinking he heard you wrong because he hasn’t gotten a good night’s rest — rest, not sleep — in forever since he came back from Spain. 
He’s been forcing himself to come to work just for a glimpse of you and your pretty face to recharge his battery, heal his soul a bit, let you be all that occupies his mind despite being laid off after that outrageous mission that resulted in the president’s unwanted favor and nightmares upon nightmares with only anxious yet soothing thoughts of you as the best bad out of the worst he’s had to face— and what is it that you said again?  
“You’re joking right?” Leon says, pride not knowing if it should be broken or not because he’s not sure to take this as a rejection, and it isn’t his intention for it to sound that harsh. He’s not some asshole who can’t take no for an answer, it’s your reasoning that has him downright jamming like a gun.
Leon has to remind himself to switch off work mode because now you look mousey as if he has a paw on your tail, shoulders pulled into yourself.  “Sorry!” He feels so bad, heart expanding within his ribcage and it aches, fuck, he just wanted to ask you out and all he’s doing is scaring you. “I’m sorry, you were kidding. I didn’t get it— I’m kinda slow and you sound flat sometimes, of course you weren’t serious, I’m—”
“No, I was serious.” His eyebrows furrow at yet another self-degradation from you. “It’s you who has to be kidding. What do you mean too good for you?”
You are at a loss of words, mouth opening but nothing coming out, and finally look him in the eye and all Leon wants to do is lean down and capture your mouth, he’s heavily distracted by you licking your lips and swallowing, the sighting of the tip of your pink tongue makes his shirt suddenly suffocating and tight. 
“I mean,” you begin tentatively, unaware of what’s going on in his head, vaguely gesturing to Leon. “Well… You’re you, I mean… And I’m. Me. Look at you and look at me. Why would you even…?”
“Hey,” Leon sets his mug on the counter, closing his eyes and pinching the insides with his thumb and pointer. The implications alone sent a zapping headache through his skull that he knows he has to rest to be able to unpack, especially when he’s finally decided on seriously pursuing you in spite of himself. Leon can’t let this remain unaddressed, for your sake and his sanity. “How about I wait for you after work today and we talk about this somewhere else?” He’s squinting. “In detail.”
“We don’t really need to—”
“We do.” Leon wants you to see he’s serious about this — about you. “Because I see something here that I want to pursue and we can’t have any misunderstandings. Would appreciate it if you at least give me the chance to clear the air.”
“P-pursue?” You swallow and Leon’s mind wanders again. “Clear the air you say…”
He breathes in. “Can you give me your phone?”
You slap it into his palm almost immediately, the speed with which you obey him without asking him any questions surprises him. He wants to scold if you’re willing to hand over your mobile to any guy who asks, but supposes it’s not his place — is frustrated this is what it takes to get him annoyed, as well. He isn’t some young adult. Weirdly, you make him feel like one.  
He’s punching his own number in, despite the conflicting feelings, finally feeling like this is getting somewhere and he’s doing it when you start talking again, nervous. “You can uh, clear the air… right here… without taking me to a secondary location…” 
His eyes flick up to yours in confusion and you look to the right immediately, and back to him. To the right. Back to him. It’s somehow comedic, because why do you look like you’re cornered by some bad guy? 
You really look like you want to be anywhere else than here, Leon’s fucking this up and he doesn’t even know what he’s doing wrong. Was he going too fast? Should he have told you his number and let you save it instead? 
You’re mumbling, nervousness clear as day for reasons he can’t fathom, he hears you, but he doesn’t really understand. 
“What? What's wrong?" Leon asks, his voice laced with genuine concern. He takes a step closer, wanting to bridge the gap between you and alleviate whatever discomfort you were experiencing. "You seem... uneasy. Did I do something wrong?"
Your eyes meet his briefly, then quickly shift away again, as if you are struggling to find the right words. 
Leon's heart sinks. His intention wasn’t to make you feel nervous or pressured, especially when he is genuinely trying to connect with you — then, in a brilliant moment of heart-stopping realization, the fact that you might just not be interested slaps him in the face and he’s…
Well. Wouldn’t that be the reality? 
Leon is… He isn’t exactly the ideal man. Not with what he does, and how his life is. He’s aware of that. Have been running from forming connections because of what he knows will end up happening because of that. He can’t get attached and keep losing people — can’t keep getting hurt in the vicious cycle to prevent everyone from getting hurt. It’s been the bane of his existence ever since STRATCOM plucked him off straight from Raccoon City. Even if you work in the same field as him, just different offices, who is to say it will work out anyway? 
He’s getting ahead of himself. You might not like him at all in the first place. Jesus. 
Maybe you see him for what he is. Maybe you think he’s not  —- the effort’s not worth it, and you wouldn’t exactly be wrong in thinking so. You could be wanting something else in life that he only has the desire to give you, and not the promise. He wouldn’t blame you, hell, who would blame someone for being their own person with their thoughts, wishes, wants and goals in life? 
You’re too good for me, really, is his line. It has been right from the beginning, his excuse in running away from his undeniable, frightening attraction to you.
"No, it's not you," you finally managed to articulate, prompting Leon to release the breath he was holding, your voice shaky, playing with your fingers. "I just... I feel a bit overwhelmed. This is all happening so fast, and I never expected..."
Leon nods, his expression softening as he realizes the weight of the situation. He hasn’t fully considered how his sudden confession and determination to pursue you might have caught you off guard. He has been so focused on his own feelings that he hasn’t taken into account your own thoughts and emotions.
"I understand," he replies, voice gentle and reassuring. "I didn't mean to overwhelm you. I just... I couldn't keep my feelings to myself anymore. But please know that I don't expect an immediate answer or any commitment from you. I just… Well. I just wanted to tell you. See where this goes. Or, maybe, if that’s not the case… Get rejected for good so I can move on, you know?"
You laugh a little and it’s genuine — you have no idea how it turns Leon’s heart into putty right where it hangs between two lungs. “Do you really mean all of that?”
“Of course,” he says, offended the tiniest bit. “Why do you think I would joke about something like this?”
“It’s not about you joking, really…” You’re uncomfortable again, hesitating to tell him something. 
“Hey, you can tell me.”
“Can you promise you won’t get mad?”
“What am I, your father?” He snorts. “Come on, tell me.” 
You brace yourself for it and he doesn’t understand why until you say it. “You, um… You’re kinda scary.”
He blinks. “Sorry?”
“Sorry!” You raise your hands up in panic. “I don’t really mean it like that, not to insult you or anything, it’s actually admirable, I’m just saying! Discipline, work ethic, unmatched field performance! You’re very… Very, uh… Intimidating, yeah, that’s the word…? I mean, like… You, uh, you’re famous, you know, we all know your work, you’re very hard working, working hard, very hard work — uh, um… So it’s…”
“I scare you?” Leon swears he felt his eyes get bigger the faster you kept on vomiting words. “You think I would hurt you?” 
“No!” You reject strongly, waving a nervous hand at him. Silence befalls later, which you follow awkwardly with a silent, guilty. “Maybe,” after clearing your throat. 
 He had always strived to be a protector, but he hadn't realized that his image and reputation — what it had become after Spain — could have such an effect on someone he cares about. 
"I never meant to scare you," he says softly, his voice filled with genuine remorse, he puts the coffee mug on the counter and leans his hip on it, shoulders sagging a bit as he crosses his arms. The thought of you only feeling intimidation about him leaves a bitter taste worse than the coffee does. "I guess... I've always been so focused on work, on the dangers just around the corner — I’m aware how it might affect my relationships in the long run so I never attempted to form any at all, but I never realized how it might affect how people see me in the first place. I never wanted to make you, of all people, feel this way. I could never hurt you. Never."
“I didn’t want to imply you’re a guy who’d intentionally hurt someone—”
“Don’t worry about it,” he sighs, ruffling his hair to get rid of the awkwardness. “So I’ve just been bugging you this whole time, huh? Jesus. I’m so sorry.”
“No! No, don’t say that, you’re amazing! You’re like a hero around here…”
“Around here doesn’t mean shit,” he replies curtly, and regrets cursing like that in front of you immediately. It’s unbecoming of him — and doesn’t help his image in your eyes at all. He’s getting frustrated. His tone lowers into a softer, more disappointed, heartfelt one. “I only care about how you think of me.” 
“Well, you’re amazing,” you say again, bashfully this time, and it prompts him to look at you. There’s something shy about you now that has him standing taller in anticipation, wondering if it’s him reading this wrong or not. “It’s pretty well-known if you didn’t know.”
“I don’t know,” he prods, idiot heart fluttering at the way you’re flustered. “What do you think? Besides intimidating, I mean. Not reporting on the local gossip this time, if you don’t mind.”
“You seem like a nice guy,” you settle. The middle ground. “I’ve seen you with the president’s daughter.”
Leon's expression softens at your words, a mixture of relief and gratitude washing over him. He takes a deep breath, trying to let go of the tension that had built up within him. The mention brings a slight smile to his face, memories of Ashley flooding his mind, a fondness evident in his eyes. "Ah, Ashley. Yeah, that was quite the adventure. Though what can you be other than a nice guy when your mission is the president’s daughter?"
“I know a couple people who’d treat her like a package to be delivered. You prioritized her wellbeing more than anything.”
“What else was I supposed to prioritize?”
“You know what I mean. Emotional wellbeing. I’ve read your initial report and her statement. You cared about her.” A smile tugs at your lips, he can tell you’re a bit more comfortable now. "Especially during what you’ve been through. It's impressive how you handle yourself in those situations."
He shrugs modestly, a hint of pride shining in his eyes. You respect him. "I guess you could say it comes with the job. But it's not all action and danger, you know. There's more to me than just being a government agent."
Your curiosity piques, and you tilt your head, prompting him to continue. "Tell me more. What's Leon Kennedy like outside of work and missions?"
It catches him off guard that you want to know more and take the first step. You could have just rejected him. His heart picks up, chest expanding in excitement, he’s glad for the opportunity to share a glimpse of his life beyond the chaos of his work — he’s normally not eager to share pieces of his life like this, but… He’d give it to you on a silver platter, whether it'd lure you in or not. That’s how Leon knows he wants this with you so bad. “I wanna lie to woo you but… Would it be too unattractive to tell I really don’t have a life outside of work? I’m still trying to find some balance in my life. The upper echelon guys are pretty ruthless and demanding. I guess it means I can say I’m into traveling?”
“Is this the cool guy way of saying you’re an introvert these days?”
The unexpectedness of it is what gets him to throw his head back to laugh, and he catches you staring, scrambling to rub his face to get rid of it and regain some composure. “Yeah,” he breathes. “Pretty much.”
“Well,” you gesture at him, there’s a vague pink hue dusting your cheeks. “What are you into, then?”
God, he can’t stop, “Other than you?” from escaping his dumb mouth. He shouldn’t have said it. It’s too corny. So uncalled for. Your mouth hangs open and he wishes he could rewind the tape to take it back and choose some other option. “Say… What about we continue this discussion after work? I know a good coffee place. Let me make it up to you for invading your lunch time. I’ll tell you all about me, what do you say?”
You look at the clock on the wall, he knows you didn’t get to have anything because he decided to turn up and serenade you with unwanted attention, it’s two birds with one stone for him if you decide to accept — he wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t see a perfect moment to seize the chance. 
“Coffee sounds perfect,” you nod, with no pressure from him, and it lifts a great weight off his shoulders. “Would it be okay if I eat something too?”
Why are you so adorable? You don’t know that you own the power to get Leon to have your superiors let you go for the day, but he can’t get too excited right now. “Say the word and it becomes a dinner date.”
It gets you flustered again, you don’t know where to put your hands, and he’s so happy about it. “It’s a weekday… That’d be a bit exhausting…”
“Okay. Coffee date it is.”
He’s noticing you like the cheeky confidence, and it makes sense, considering the intensity had you intimidated. “Thank you,” you say. “I’d like that.”
“Believe me,” Leon can’t stop the grin from overtaking his expression. “My pleasure. You’re honestly too good for me.”
There’s the sudden urge to kiss you when vulnerability and shyness lights up your whole face, but he’ll take it slow. He has to take it slow. For himself. 
2K notes · View notes
narcissarina · 23 days
Note
I read a hilarious Reddit post of a guy saying “called my wife after I got shot and actually said ‘hey honey, I kinda got shot’ and she was mad I said it like that” and all I can picture is re2!Leon (maybe RC didnt get destroyed, so he’s a cute lil rookie) getting a call from his s/o and s/o is like, in the hospital or something and is like “Hey, just so you know there’s a dude with a gun mugging people. Oh btw, he tried to mug me and I kinda got shot”
Poor pookie is gonna be SO distraught.
LEON WOULD LAUGH AND CRY AT THE SAME TIME😭😭😭 making a short one shot outta this, sorry it took so long😭😭🙏
𝚂𝚑𝚘𝚝 𝙲𝚊𝚕𝚕
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Leon was working a little late so he made sure to tell you, he’s finishing up his report and check his phone for the time. His thoughts drift you, he wonders how beautiful you sleep in your shared bed and how he’ll slowly get on bed—careful not to wake you up until your feel the bed weight shifts and turn to him and ask him that he just got home in a tired tone.
Files were stacked on his desk; messy and pens all over. He picked the papers he should organize, pens in its case. He yawns and keep himself awake with some coffee, he hums as he thought of you.
As if the noise seems to muffle, leaving Leon on his own in his world. His phone rang, snapping him back and took his phone. Its was your number on display, a big grin planted on his face as he picked up, “hey, baby. Need something?” he asked, his tone sweet and loving, “uhm…” your voice was heard from the end of his phone.
“Yeah, baby?”
“I’m in a hospital right now.” Before you could speak further, Leon hang up the call, adrenaline course through him.
Everything is clean in this room, you were lying in a hospital bed with the monitor beeping. You look down at your phone that shows Leon hang up on you, cutting you off before finishing what you had to say.
You place your phone down near the bed drawer and deeply inhales, you pick up a nurse shouting from outside your room, “sir, you can’t come in there!”
You flinched, tugging the blanket close to you as Leon burst right to the door—sweat running down his forehead, he’s out of breath as he spots you in the bed, “baby, what happened?” he asked, rushing to your side and squeezing your hand as he brought your knuckles to his lips.
“I just want to buy you your favorite food because I was planning to stay up late and wait for you on the dinner table.” He hums and nod, “yeah?”
“There was this dude who’s mugging people,” Leon raise a brow and nodded, “where is he?” he asked, going to call units to find the smuggler. “He tried to mug me and I kinda got shot.” Your lips turn to thin lines as Leon’s face dropped and his mouth open.
Silence comes between you as he let out a small, “huh?” he was distraught, “got shot.” You repeat and laugh it off, “don’t worry I’m—holy shit are you crying?” your tone changing to chill to concern, “are you okay?” he sniffle, he just couldn’t believe that you would laugh it off and go about your day.
He leans close and bury his head to your stomach, “Leon, I’m fine.” You assured, “no, you’re not fine.” He mumbles and you could feel warm liquids from your hospital gown, “I’m sorry, I’ll try to get off work as early as I can and be with you and won’t let this happen again.” He apologized to something he can’t control, you smiled at his warm words and assurance.
“There’s no need for that,” you said, “yes it do.” He insist and called up a friend back to R.P.D to catch the smuggler as he promised you to make that guy apologize for shooting and trying to mug you. What you kept in mind is Leon is just super worried and blamed himself when you get hurt and he’s not there to support you when it happen.
“You’re such a baby.”
“I’m your baby.” You earn a laugh from him as he pulls you into a sweet and tender kiss, “not going to lie, it was kind of funny—but it’s also not funny since you got shot.”
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𝑳𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒏, 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒏.
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forever-rogue · 25 days
Note
I’m really missing nurse!Steeb x pregnant reader lately, what have they been up to??🥺
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AN | I love Nurse!Steeb and his clumsy girl! Besides being pregnant, again, things are as chaotic as always in the Harrington household! 💕
Warnings | Mild Language, Pregnant!Reader
Pairing | Nurse!Steve x Fem!Reader
Word Count | 2k
Masterlist | Steve, Main, Nurse Steve
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“Guess what,” you walked into your bedroom, inadvertently scaring Steve who had been reading intently. He yelped slightly as you offered him an apologetic grin and got into bed next to him, “sorry babe. But guess what!”
“What's up?” He set his book on his night stand before reaching for your hand and lacing your fingers together.
“I'm twelve weeks today,” it took him a moment to put together what you were saying but as soon as he did, his entire face lit up, “I think its time we told people, what do you think?”
“Yes. Yes,” he agreed eagerly. He'd been wanting to tell people since the day you told him you were pregnant but also understood why you had wanted to wait, “I can't wait to tell everyone. They're going to be so excited.”
“And what about you, Steve Harrington?” You clutched his hand tightly before bringing it to your lips and pressing a kiss to his knuckles, “are you excited? Truly?”
“Of course I am,” he scoffed sweetly as you relaxed, giving him an innocent shoulder shrug, “you know you don’t ever have to question that, sweetheart. I’ve been dying to tell everyone, but I know you wanted to wait. Which totally makes sense.”
“I was just worried,” you whispered softly, “I didn’t want anything to go wrong. I’m really glad it didn’t. I’m excited too.”
“I can’t believe I’ve got you, Cami, and now another baby,” his smile stretched from ear to ear as your face lit up, “I couldn’t ask for anything more.”
“What if I get weird cravings in the middle of the night?” When you were pregnant with Cami, there hadn’t been anything too crazy, but you wanted to be prepared. And you didn’t want to annoy Steve - not that you would ever be able to do such a thing, especially when you were pregnant, “what if I complain all the time? What if I can’t sleep? What if you get annoyed with me? What if Camila doesn’t want-”
“Hey,” he put a finger gently to your lips in order to tenderly cut off any more of your doubt, “I will never get tired of you. You know that. And even if all those things happen, we’ll get through them and I’ll try my best to help you. And I have a feeling that Camila will be very excited for a brother and sister.”
“How can you be sure?”
“She’s been talking about how some of her friends have little brothers and sisters that she thinks it’s really cool,” that made you feel immediately better, “trust me, she’ll be excited.”
“So we’re all excited?” you hadn’t realized a few tears had rolled down your cheeks until Steve gently wiped them away. You reached up and held his hand to your face, offering your husband a misty-eyed smile.
“We’re all excited,” he confirmed as he brushed his thumb along your cheek, “I love you.”
“I love you too, Stevie.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“Mama?” Camila's small voice cut through your internal monologue as you shifted your gaze to find her watching you with a worried expression on her little face, “what's wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong, my love,” you wiped the tears from your face with the sleeve of your sweater, motioning for her to come over. She padded over and crawled onto the couch next to you, “I'm just feeling a little sad.”
“Why are you feeling sad?”
“There was a commercial with a really cute dog,” you sniffled as she looked at you in confusion, “I know it doesn't make any sense. When you're pregnant your hormones go all crazy and sometimes even happy things can make you cry.”
“Oh,” she considered what you were saying before shaking her head, “I don't think I could ever do that. What's the point?”
“Well, baby, that's how Daddy and I ended up with you. And I'm pretty glad we did,” you pulled her into your lap and pressed a kiss to the top of her dark curls, “and that's how we're going to end up with your brother or sister.”
“Daddy thinks I'll get a sister,” she grinned at you, a gap toothed little smile that you adored more than anything, “what do you think?”
“I think you're getting a little brother,” you whispered softly, “but we're just going to have to wait and see.”
“How much longer?!”
“Four months…ish,” you gently touched your ever-growing belly and sighed, “sometimes babies come a little early but it should be about four months.”
“I'm excited,” she said with wide eyes filled with wonder. She hesitantly reached over and touched your belly as well, “that's cool that they're in there. Does it hurt?”
“It doesn't hurt but sometimes it doesn't feel good,” and that was putting it lightly, “but it's worth It in the end.”
“I hope so,” she nodded solemnly before sliding off the couch and walking towards the kitchen, “can I have some ice cream?”
“Camila Mae,” you slowly stood up and walked after her, “only if you promise to share!”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“Steven Harrington,” you pushed your sunglasses to the top of your head, raising an eyebrow at him, “my eyes are up here.”
“Baby,” he huffed, his eyes turning a pretty shade of pink. He had not so discreetly looking at your chest and your belly, “its not fair. You're so hot. Gorgeous. Sexy. Beautiful. All of it.”
“Please,” you rolled your eyes at him before gently pushing his chest, “I'm five months pregnant. I'm hardly anything but a beach ball.”
“You're gorgeous,” he insisted, settling his large hands on your waist as he pulled into him and pressed a kiss to your lips, “plus the bathing suit you're wearing? Fuckin’ killing me.”
“Steve,” you squeaked softly as your entire face warmed up, “you just like it when I'm pregnant.”
“I like you always,” he insisted sweetly, “but there is something about you being pregnant that drives me crazy. And that way everyone knows you're mine.”
“I'm all yours,” you agreed, biting the inside of your cheek, “I love you, Stevie.”
“I love you, baby,” he grinned, “so much-”
“Daddy! Mama!” Cami sounded so adorably annoyed as the two of you looked over at her. She was motioning towards the pool, clearly ready to get into the water, “stop being so gross!”
“Yeah Daddy,” you nudged him towards your daughter, “stop being so gross and hitting on Mama.”
“Stop,” he groaned softly, pressing one last kiss to your lips, “you're doing to be the death of me, I hope you know.”
“So dramatic,” you snorted in amusement, “go have fun and keep our kid from drowning!”
“And you put on plenty of sunscreen,” he insisted pointing at the bag you had packed, “join us when you're ready.”
“I will,” you smiled softly, already feeling some tears welling up. It seemed like everything made you cry these days. It was just one of the many perks of being pregnant, “go have fun. I'll keep an eye on this kid.”
You could hear Steve laughing as he went over to Camila. Her entire little face lit up as her father picked up her and threw her over his shoulder to climb into the pool. It was still crazy sometimes to think that these two people were your favorite people in the entire world.
“And you're pretty special too,” you sat down, slowly of course, on your beach chair and rubbed a hand over your belly, “I can't wait to meet you. You've got a while lot of love waiting for you, just so you know.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
You groaned as you walked through the front door and closed it slowly behind you. It had been a long day, and one of the few that you had to work later into the evening. By the time you got home, the Harrington household was already quiet for the evening. 
“Hi honey,” Steve was at the door and already reaching for your bag before you could even wonder where he was. You relaxed as you melted into him, gladly taking the kiss he offered you, “let me help.”
You weren’t even going to bother arguing with your husband. He set your bag down in its usual spot before taking your coat and helping you slip off your shoes. When he was done, you instantly felt better. He reached for your hand and slowly led you to the kitchen, “thanks Stevie.”
“You’ve had a long day, it’s the least I can do,” you sat down at the kitchen table and let out a large sigh, running a tired hand over your belly, “how are you feeling?”
“I’m feeling like I’m very pregnant,” you huffed with a small laugh as you watched him put together a plate of food from dinner. He caught your eye and gave you a soft smile, “I can’t believe there’s still like months of this left.”
“If it’s any consolation, I think you’re doing a fantastic job,” he set the plate down in front of you and pressed a kiss to your head before grabbing a drink from the refrigerator. He set it down next to your plate before sitting down next to you, “I don’t think I could ever do it. I mean…growing a whole human is crazy.”
“I agree,” you took a big bite of the warm, delicious food, savoring the flavor before swallowing, “and I’m the one doing it. But I know it’ll be worth it. Blob number two will be worth it, just like Cami was.”
“You’re never going to let that go, are you?” he asked with a hearty laugh, as you offered him a big smile.
“Never,” you promised, “not even if we have another kid in the future. I’m telling you, they look like blobs on the ultrasound and you can’t even say I’m wrong. I mean, you’re a nurse! You gotta admit they just look like blobs more than anything else.”
“I’m going to agree with you because you’re my wife and pregnant,” he folded his arms over his chest and leaned back in his chair, playfully narrowing his eyes at you. You stuck your tongue out at him, “I know better than to argue with my pregnant wife. Whom I love very much.”
The sweet tone in his voice caused you to soften as you set down your fork, “I love you too, Steve. So much.”
“I know,” he gently nudged his foot with yours, “is there anything else I can do for you? Whatever you need. Bubble bath?”
“Oh, that sounds lovely,” you agreed, “I feel like even my bones are tired. They could use a good soak.”
“And then you can tell me all about your day,” he insisted as you nodded at him.
“But only if you tell me all about yours,” you replied, “and Camila’s. I’m sure the two of you got up to no good.”
“I have no clue what you’re talking about,” and that told you enough to know that the two of them definitely got into something, “we’re practically angels.”
“Shut up,” you laughed at him, shaking your head in amusement, “that’ll be the day. But luckily, I love and want to keep you both around.”
“I want you around too,” he stood up and slowly stretched before reaching for your hands, “do you want seconds first or bath now?”
“Bath now,” you let him take your hands and help to hoist you to your feet, “dessert later?”
“Dessert - “ he paused for a moment as you raised an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to put together what you were actually insinuating, “oh. Oh. Y-yeah, we can do that. Definitely.”
“Come on then,” you tilted your head towards the upstairs, “how often do we get this much peace, quiet and alone time?”
“Almost never,” he agreed, “you’re right. Let’s go.”
Needless to say, things were as hectic and chaotic as ever in the Harrington household.
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myosotisa · 10 months
Note
Steve needing comfort angst ?
ah yes, the best. someone give this boy a hug!!!!!!
Running Late
ǁ  summary: Steve is late picking you up after work and fears the worst from you when he does show up.
ǁ  tags: hurt/comfort, established relationship. gender neutral, no pronouns, no y/n, nicknames are honey and sweetheart for reader. Steve has anxiety, description of symptoms similar to an anxiety attack, comfort for the man.
ǁ  word count: 2.1k
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Your boyfriend Steve had picked you up after work every day since the two of you had started dating 6 months ago.
He insisted it wasn’t a big deal – it was on his way home from his own job and it also meant he got to see you everyday, which he always insisted was the highlight of his day. You didn’t really enjoy walking home, and you did enjoy getting to look at Steve Harrington, so it seemed like a win-win.
You didn’t really think too much into it until tonight.
After your shift ended, you did the same thing you always did: you cleaned up a bit, clocked out, and pushed your way out of the back door and into the night air. When you looked over to where Steve was normally parked, leaning on his hood with his thick arms crossed over his chest, you only saw empty space.
Shrugging it off, you stepped to the side to lean back against the brick wall and wait. He’d never been late before but there was a first time for everything. Who isn’t late sometimes?
You waited an hour.
During that time, you’d stepped inside to try to call his house (no answer) and Family Video (wasn’t there). One of your coworkers had walked past and asked if you needed a ride home, but you were still positive Steve was coming to get you, so you waved him off. He wasn’t the type to just forget. Maybe he’d lost track of time or, god forbid, he got in some sort of accident.
You’d been considering just walking home and trying to call him again later when his maroon BMW comes careening into the parking lot.
It skids until the wheels lock up a safe distance away from the building, and by extension you, and has barely come to a full stop before the driver’s side door is rocketing open and a severely distressed Steve is jumping out.
“Honey! Hey, I’m…” He rounds the car toward you in a jog, voice raspy from being out of breath. “I’m so sorry I’m late, I can’t believe – wait, how late am I?” He flips his watch toward his face, squinting behind his wire rim glasses to try to read the time in the dark before they grow wide and flick back to you. “Oh my god, I didn’t – I’m so sorry – Sweetheart, I swear…”
He isn’t even able to finish a thought before the next one starts as his breathing only seems to start coming through faster, chest rising and falling visibly with the force of his inhales. When he reaches his hands out toward you, there’s a noticeable tremble in them and that, along with the flush of red crawling up his chest, clues you in that something is really not right.
“Steve, hey,” you step into his space, bypassing his outstretched hands and placing one of yours on his jaw and the other on his chest. “It’s okay, it’s really fine.”
“No, it’s not fine,” he murmurs, the space between his eyebrows folding into a sharp pinch. The next inhale he takes is choked, getting trapped in the bulk of his chest. “I’m so, so sorry. I… There’s no excuse, really, honest to god, there isn’t, I’m so sorry.”
Growing more concerned by the second, you step closer to try to ground him with your presence. You’ve seen Steve in moments like these before, when his anxiety feels like a python constricting around his chest, but it never gets any easier to watch. Especially not as his eyes start to water at the corners and the tremble of his hands infects the rest of him in a subtle shake.
“Hey, baby,” the petname, one that normally calms him down, produces a sharp inhale this time, like it was the wrong thing to say. “Why don’t you come sit in the backseat with me? Is that okay?” Your tone is slightly placating and you wish it wasn’t, but you’re at a bit of a loss for the best way to navigate this situation. Especially since you have little to no idea of what is causing his panic.
His eyes squeeze shut as the rest of his muscles go stiff, the tears that were collecting in the corners of his eyes falling swiftly down his reddened cheeks. Though it looks like it pains him, he gives a stunted nod and allows you to lead him back over to his car. You open the rear passenger side door and look over at him – he looks so lost and scared like this, 2 things you’re not used to your boyfriend being. But you’re here for it either way and motion for him to go in first, waiting for him to settle in the middle of the back before you slide in after him and shut the door behind you both.
The seal of the door makes the ambient noise of the outside fall away, leaving only the hum of the AC coming from the still running BMW. While you had worried it would feel too cramped for him at first, he had later explained to you that he didn’t find it cramped. It felt contained, which helped his panic when it came.
Twisting in your seat, you face him with a hand on his forearm. He stares straight forward, focusing far off. “I’m gonna sit in your lap, is that okay?” He doesn’t answer, just opens his arms and adjusts his legs to give you room to hop on. With the sedan’s low ceiling, it takes a bit of maneuvering, but you manage to crawl over to straddle his lap: knees by his hips, ass on his thighs, and hands resting on his chest. Almost instinctively, his arms wrap around you and pull you in to press along the entire front of his body.
Tucking your forehead against the side of his neck, you let him adjust as needed until he stills with his arms looped over your back. Like this, you’re effectively a warm, weighted blanket for him. A living, breathing one that grounds him to reality and gives him something to focus on. You make your breathing as obvious as you can, giving him a chance to try to mimic it, and listen to his heart rate slowly begin to lower with your ear pressed to his chest.
While the tension comes and goes in the silence between you for a little while, you know the worst of it has passed when his hands start to move. From stationary, they move into a subtle stroke along your curved spine from your position. Small at first, but gradually growing in length and firmness as he calms down further. You don’t want to push it, don’t want to move too soon, don’t want to cause him more upset, so you allow yourself to melt further into him with the soft touches and wait for him to be ready.
Eventually, Steve heaves a deep breath that comes much easier and fuller than those previous. It’s accompanied by a low hum that you feel more than hear from your place against his chest. His hands skate down to rest on your hips, giving a soft squeeze, before he murmurs, “Hey honey.”
With that, you slowly withdraw from your spot and straighten as much as you can, putting a few inches between your faces. His face is ruddy and his cheeks are damp, like he spent a lot of your hidden time crying, and you offer a sad smile through the stab of pain the sight causes you. “Hi handsome,” you hum back, tension easing when his mouth tilts in a shy smile. “You come here often?”
“Too often,” he replies with a soft, self-deprecating laugh. His hands slide further – from your hips to resting on the tops of your thighs. When he speaks next it’s rough and broken at the edges. “I’m sorry.”
Quick to react, you use your hands to cup both sides of his jaw, forcing him to keep eye contact with you to try to ebb any possibility of a second attack. “No sorries, no more.” You lean in to press a soft kiss to his pouting lips, pulling away just enough to press your forehead to his. “Nothing to be sorry for. I’m not mad, I’m not upset. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
His mouth presses into a tight line, jaw muscle rolling with tension as he clenches his teeth together. “I told Lucas I would drive him home after his game at the school tonight,” he explains through a sigh, eyes closed gently. “They went into overtime and he was out in the game, not even on the bench like he normally is, and I was just so excited for him. I completely lost track of time.”
“That’s okay, Steve,” you press your forehead a bit tighter before relaxing again. “That’s great for Lucas and I’m glad you had fun watching. It happens, losing track of time. Everyone does it once in awhile.” He heaves another shaky breath, the exhale ghosting warm over the lower half of your face from the proximity. “Do you want to talk about what just happened?”
You leave it up to him with no judgement. Sometimes he will say no, he’ll talk about it when he’s ready. But you always want to give him the option to talk about it right then when it’s fresh on his mind.
“I, uh… I thought you’d be mad.” He admits quietly, sounding ashamed. “Maybe not even mad but just… Disappointed?” 
Your expression cracks, sadness filling you, but you wait to make sure you don’t end up interrupting. You’d learned your lesson that if you tried to make it too much back and forth, he would get distracted and lose his train of thought.
“I guess I was worried that being late would make you feel like you can’t trust me anymore. That I’m unreliable. And if I’m unreliable, then maybe you won’t want me to give you rides anymore. And if I don’t drive you home from work anymore then…” He pauses, the continuous train of thought reaching its conclusion that he hadn’t anticipated at the beginning. “If I stop being useful, you won’t want me around anymore.”
“Oh, baby…” You can’t help but sigh, heart twisting in pain for the boy in front of you. “I don’t spend time with you because you’re ‘useful’. I’m not dating you because of the things you do for me or something like that. I like you because you’re you, Steve Harrington.” His eyes open when you say his full name, a bit watery behind the now smudged lenses. “You’re kind and loving and brave and genuine. Not to mention, kind of a stud muffin.”
He huffs a small, wet laugh at that, bringing little smiles to both of your faces. The sadness in his eyes begins to shift, steadily growing into awe and adoration the longer he looks at you. “You could never pick me up from work again and I would still be just as stupid crazy for you as I am right now, swear to god.”
“Oh yeah?” He sniffles slightly, clearing his throat as he tries to regain some footing. “How stupid crazy are we talking here? Because I think I might be a little bit deeper,” he teases, hands squeezing the meat of your thighs as his smile slowly grows.
“How about this,” you lean in to press one more quick kiss to his pink lips before you pull back to look at him head on. “How about we agree that I’m crazy for you and you’re stupid for me and we’re even in our prospective fields?”
“Prospective fields?” His head shakes with his shoulders when he chuckles again, the warmth of his smile once again meeting his bright eyes. “You’re kind of a nerd, you know that right?”
“Yup!” You answer happily, “That’s why I’m the crazy one and you’re the stupid one.”
“Oh gee, thanks,” comes his mocking reply, eyes rolling heavily. “It’s a good thing you’re cute, because you’re trouble.”
Fingers trailing down from his jaw to rest on the front of his chest, you aren’t able to bite back your cheeky grin. “I thought you liked that about me.”
With a grin that mirrors your own, his hands make an opposite trail, going from your thighs, brushing over the flesh of your ass before gripping tight on your hips again. “I do. I like everything about you actually.”
Flustered suddenly by the flattery, you hide your sudden shyness by leaning back in and wrapping your arms around his shoulders in a hug. He returns the embrace, leaving the two of you closer to how you had been when you first got in the car.
“Thank you, sweetheart,” he murmurs into your hair, fingers once again brushing up and down your spine. “For everything.”
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thesoftestpunk · 8 months
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Will you be mine?
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Summary: your crush is starting to become something more
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader
Word count: 6.3k
A/N: This took for-fucking-ever, I'm sorry. I had a 5 month writers block
Warnings: Minors DNI!! If I find out you read this, I'm calling your mom. Lots of making out, dumb sex jokes, first time, smut, oral, piv sex, virgin!Eddie idk if I missed something lemme know. Also reader can honestly be read as plus size. I try to be inclusive.
Pt.1
When Eddie truly saw you for the first time, you were actually giving Dustin directions to the theater department, already late to swim practice, but you nodded along to his excited ramblings about joining Hellfire. You wished all three freshmen good luck and when you passed by Eddie, you smiled. Not even a half-assed, polite smile, but a full one. It’s so out of the ordinary for him that he just gawkes at you with wide eyes until your smile falters a fraction, and you move on. 
It’s been two years since you’ve moved into town, so he’s seen you around school before, but it’s the closest your worlds came to colliding, and in response to that, you smiled. Most people turned their noses up at the sight of him but the harder he thought about it, you never did. Not in two whole years. Even when his hair went through a terrible awkward phase. 
It set his curiosity in motion, unintentionally looking for you any chance he got. It was easiest in class, stuck in the back by choice, but that meant no one was looking at him looking at you. You sat with your friends any chance you got, devoted yourself to them, but anytime they made a snide comment, he saw you withdraw just the slightest bit, eyes drifting and frown deepening. Eddie never liked it when you frowned. In fact, anytime he could tell you were having a bad day, eyes burning with tears, he’d act like a fool in class. At first, you remained nonchalant, eyes drifting like they did with your friends, but the first time he got you to laugh, his heart felt too big for his chest. 
“Again?” Gareth teased when he caught Eddie drooling over you instead of the worksheet in front of him that only displayed the addition of his crooked name and nothing else. 
“I think I like her, man.” Eddie tries to keep his voice low. If anyone caught wind that he liked someone so high on the social ladder, he’d be eaten alive. The teasing over his hobbies he could take, but getting his heart caught on his sleeve and then stomped on made him nervous. 
“You should just ask her out.” Gareth says it so nonchalantly that Eddie can’t help but scoff.
“She’s friends with Christina Whitlock, wannabe cheerleader. She’s worse than Carver and his goons. I’m not going to put myself on the chopping block willingly.” 
“It’s either you ask her out or suffer in silence.” 
Eddie looks at you sitting in the front of the classroom, smiling at something you’ve been told, and his heart sinks a little. 
Then everything shifted after you sat next to him in English that day your friends seemed to be making fun of him about something. At first he thought you did it because you felt guilty, but when you seemed genuinely curious about his tattoos, he let his guard down. Which seemed to backfire pretty quickly. He had to endure hearing you say you didn’t like him, not once, but twice.
When he had lost all hope, you invited him to the pool. He almost didn't go, fully expecting you to turn him down politely, explaining that you were only being nice out of obligation, but none of that happened. When you had expressed your shared feelings for Eddie, he felt unadulterated joy. That was until he kissed you, and it seeped out of his skin, unable to be contained any further. Now, he got to walk hand in hand with you down the halls of the school, giving each other knowing looks when Tina stared the two of you down like she couldn’t believe you would have the audacity to hold hands. 
You always initiated the pda, and he shook off the nerves just to feel the soft skin of your palm against his. He kissed you in private, not wanting any chance of a moment ruined. But you can’t seem to get any privacy for anything more than making out. You’ve come close to the idea of more but that’s all it seems to be. An idea. It’s a lot of getting interrupted in your bed, Eddie’s hand just having slid underneath your underwear and one of you freezing at the sound of the front door. You always proceed to hiss out ‘shit. Someone’s home,’ before the two of you scramble to get decent and when, nine times out of ten, your mother checks on you, you pretend to be studying. 
Despite his -albeit joking- begging, you refuse the idea to do it in his van.
“I’m a bit of a romantic,” you argue. “So I don’t want our first time to be in the back of your smelly van.”
“Okay, it won’t be there.” He promises, bringing your knuckles to his lips. “It’ll be up front.”
You shove him off of you as he laughs maniacally, now beside you on your bed. Taking your childhood stuffed rabbit, you whack him in the shoulder playfully, and he catches it quickly. 
“How dare you use miss hoppity as a weapon!” He teases further. 
“Oh, you’re in for it now, Munson.” 
He screams dramatically when you roll over on him and attack his neck in rapid kisses, making him uncontrollably giggle. He had warned you he was ticklish in some parts, and you quickly learned where for your own personal enjoyment. 
“Uncle! Uncle!” He gasps out between bouts of laughter, even though he loved the feeling of your plush lips against his neck. His beautiful neck that left your mouth watering and legs clenching at the sheer thickness of it. Just more space to place kisses. There’s a moment when he’s calming and you’ve placed both hands on his stomach, neither worrying about your mother coming to check up on the commotion you just caused. You feel him harden underneath you, just like every time you get pulled onto his lap. He can’t help it. The way your legs spread just for him, and how your shoulders relax with ease gets him going. 
“What?” You whisper when he just continues to stare like you’ve told him he’s won the lottery. 
“I haven’t taken you on a proper date, have I?” As he asks, his smile turns downward at the sudden realization. 
“No, but I don’t mind.” You trace a finger from the back of his jaw to his chin and give a little pinch. “I like this time together. Just us.”
“Well, I’d be a terrible–” the words get caught in his throat as he almost says the big word. Boyfriend. Neither of you had broached the subject, and maybe that’s why he’s brought up the fact that he hasn’t taken you out. Whatever this relationship was, he was afraid he was going about everything in the wrong way. He should have taken you out before even kissing you, if any romantic driven book he’s read has told him. “-guy if I didn’t.”
“Okay,” you ignore his fumble, bumping your nose into his. “Take me out then.” You flatten your chest to him to feel the rumble of his victorious laughter, but then you remember where you are, and your bedroom door is open fully. “We need to get up before the guard does her rounds.”
You untangle yourself from him, giggling as he has to adjust himself if your mom actually does make an appearance. 
“This Friday, sweetheart. I’m picking you up at seven o’clock, sharp.”
“I look forward to it.”
***
Eddie says he would still rather not be seen at any school event, but he shows up to your swim practice, fulfilling his promise of being in the closest spot on the bleachers as he’s allowed. He drives you home from every practice, bragging about you to you. It’s selfishly endearing listening to the way he talks about how proud he is of you for how talented you are. The rest of the girls on the team didn’t understand his insistence on catching at least the last ten minutes. Usually he would be meeting with hellfire, but he would try and make it just to cheer you on, even if he was explicitly told not to by your coach. 
“He was here again today.” you hear Christina whisper to one of the girls. “I’m starting to think it’s not just for Y/N.”
“What do you mean?” She asks innocently.
“I mean… it’s kinda pervy, right?” 
“Ugh, totally.” Another agrees. 
A chill runs down your spine at the idea of that rumor spreading. Something in you snaps as you slam your locker door shut before turning to see their shocked faces. 
“Eddie is a gentleman,” you glare at Tina. “I don’t care that you all think I’m a freak too, now that I’m dating him, but you need to remember I’m co-captain. Keep his name out of your mouth, and if I hear any sort of disrespect about him, you’re doing drills until you puke.” 
“You’re only co-captain because you’re the coach's niece.” Christina crosses her arms defensively. 
“The only reason I’m not captain is because of nepotism. He didn’t want you whining all the time, but I work my ass off harder than anyone in this room. You could stand to be a little more humble, Tina, considering how slow you were today.” Your hands shake as everyone looks back and forth between you and Christina like they’re at a tennis match, just waiting for a full on cat fight to break out. “So, do you understand me?”
The locker room is silent as you stare down Christina, challenging her to retort back, but she actually looks flustered and nods. It has the others nodding along in a chorus of agreement. There’s no more chit chat as the girls rush to finish getting dressed. You’re one of the first few to leave, leftover anger and adrenaline making you stomp on your way out. That is until you see Eddie and feel your whole body relax. 
“Hey, sweetheart,” he says his usual greeting. 
Sudden tears burn your eyes as you rush forward to tackle him in a hug, causing him to stumble backwards a couple of steps. He chuckles, arm coming around your middle as he assumes you’re just that excited to see him. A sniffle gives you away immediately. 
“Hey,” he says softly, pulling away to look at you. His eyebrows draw together in concern as he looks you over, hands on either side of your face to inspect closely. “Hey, you okay?”
“Yeah, yes, I just-“ you wipe your nose with your sleeve, feeling yourself get small. It’s the first time he’s seen you cry, and you don’t want to make him worry about why. “It’s stupid. Can you just take me home?”
“You can tell me.” His thumb moves back and forth over your cheek. 
“Eds,” you let out a wet laugh. “I’m fine.” To prove this, you give him a kiss. “Let’s just get out of here.”
“Alright,” he eyes you warily, and even the door to the locker room, but wraps an arm around your shoulder to walk out with you. 
You’re sour for the rest of the week, not even indulging in teasing Tina about your relationship publicly. Eddie knows you’re in a mood, but he has no idea why. He tries everything he can think of; jokes, the little kisses on your collar bones that make you smile, and more jokes, but you just seem lost in your own world. For a moment, he worries you’re tired of him already and the pressure of being seen with him has become too overwhelming, and for his own sanity, he does some digging. 
It takes bribing four different people. One offer to deal at a party sends him to  Andrew Rickman,  who gets some weed for a huge discount, to send Eddie to his girlfriend, Jessica Armstrong who finally sends him to Janice Freedman and a promise to pass along her phone number to Gareth, and he’s sure he’s figured it out. 
On Friday’s you swim on your own. Eddie knows to leave you be for an hour before entering the pool house to catch you just as you’re towel drying your hair. He doesn’t like wandering the halls to risk getting yelled at, so he waits in his van, blasting music while smoking a joint. 
“Have a good swim?” His arms wrap around your waist from behind, the smell of chlorine invading his nose. 
“Mmhm,” you hum, melting into his hold. You had pushed yourself to relieve the frustration because you didn’t want to ruin Eddie’s date plan. 
“Just ‘mmhm?’” He copied your tone, slowly placing kisses along your shoulder, and up toward your neck. 
“You know you’re not supposed to be in here.” You remind him, voice stern, but he knows there isn’t any anger behind it. 
“Got away with it last time didn’t I?” He spins you around by your hips, making you wonder what’s suddenly gotten him in this mood. Eddie captures your lips, pulling your body flush against his, and tips your head back to deepen the kiss. It leaves you breathless immediately with how desperate it feels. 
“Eddie,” you sigh when he breaks it to move to your neck once more. His ring covered hand slides up your side, cupping your breast and giving a squeeze. It’s a shame he didn’t show up sooner or he could’ve done this when you were wearing nothing but a towel. “Seriously? Here?” 
“No,” he snorts, trying to behave. “I’m a gentleman.” 
“Not with that poking me in the thigh.” 
Before he gets the chance to laugh, someone is clearing their throat, making the two of you jump apart. Tina looks to the side, looking more than embarrassed by the obvious bulge in Eddie’s pants, and your kiss stained lips. 
“T-Tina,” you step in front of Eddie for his sake. “What, uh, what are you doing here?” 
“I signed up for extra practice time.” For the first time, Tina seems small, almost afraid to admit she needed the extra time in the water. “Guys aren’t allowed in the girls locker room, Munson.” 
“I’ll wait outside.” Stiffly, he leans forward to give you a quick kiss on the cheek from behind before rushing out. 
“Sorry,” you apologize before she can berate you for it. “I thought we were alone.”
And strange enough, she doesn’t. 
“I used to sign up for the latest slot so Declan and I could be alone when we first started dating.” She opens up her locker in search of her suit. “Just don’t go making a habit of it. Coach nearly tore my head off. Can’t imagine what he’d do to his niece.” 
“Right,” you laugh sheepishly, but catch a glimpse of the Tina you became friends with two years ago. “Thanks.” 
“Don’t thank me yet.” She hardens once again. “You’re doing drills for getting caught.”
You sigh. Tough Tina was back. 
“Aye aye captain.” 
After you rush out, tail between your legs, you smack Eddie in the shoulder with the sleeve of your hoodie. He flinched back like it hurt, but the smile completely gave him away. 
“You dingus!” You try to keep your voice down, but the shrill tone still echoes around the building. 
“Ow!” He laughs more than he does whine. “I can’t appreciate you for sticking up for me?”
“What?” You stop winding up for another smack. 
“I heard what you did for me.” He wraps an arm around your back, pulling you close so he has to speak quietly. “No one’s ever stuck for me like that before.” 
“Well, I- I was just being honest…” your cheeks burn at the way he looks down at you, one corner of his lips tugging up. 
“Mm, well, I find your honesty extremely hot.” 
“We can not get caught by Tina again.” As much as you wanted to reciprocate his appreciation, you weren’t looking forward to extra punishment for making her endure another shared kiss between you and eddie. “You need to take me home so I can get ready for our date.”
“What’re you gonna wear?” 
“Only if you tell me where we’re going but it’s—“
“A surprise,” he finishes for you.
***
Eddie shows up at your door on time for once. He isn’t allowed to pick you up for school, or else you’d be chronically late for first period. He had told you to dress casual, but you can’t help but grab your short tan pleated skirt to match your white shirt with extended shoulders and a jean fabric vest. (A jest if you will). To top it all off, you wear your favorite beat up sneakers and ankle socks scrunched down. When you hear the knock, your heart skips a beat and you take down the hall, shouting at your parents that you’ll get the door. Your dad beats you to it on purpose, but he’s already met Eddie. They were uncertain at first, but Eddie was polite and followed your house rules. To an extent. It was all a front, and you knew it killed him just a little, but he also knew if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to date you. 
He takes you to a local restaurant, nothing fancy, but also not cheap. you love it either way. It never really mattered what the two of you did together, as long as you were doing it together. He’s a bit quiet as you eat, eyes scanning the room, but after you get him to loosen up, he acts like he owns the place. He leans back in his seat, arm thrown over the back as he heavily flirts with you, not even wondering if the other patrons are staring or not.
“Sorry,” Eddie mumbles while fumbling with the crumbled bills when he pays. You know he doesn’t have a traditional job, selling drugs to help his uncle with expenses, and it makes you wonder how much extra he had to sell just to take you here. There’s a pause as he calculates if there’s enough for a tip before slapping the money down and smiling at you to wave off your worry. 
“Eddie?” You gently take his hand after he’s pulled out of the parking lot. “Did you- you know you didn’t have to take me somewhere that nice, right? I would’ve been fine if you made me, like, chef boyardee at your trailer.”
“I gotta make my girl feel special sometimes, right?” He flashes you that confident smile and brings your hand up to place a kiss on your knuckles. There’s a tug in your stomach when he calls you ‘my girl’ and you bite your bottom lip to stave off your sheepish grin. “Plus, the night’s not over yet. I got one more thing for you.”
You aren’t sure what to expect, but when he pulls up in front of his trailer, you feel a bit of a relief. Not because you don’t like being out in public with Eddie, you do, but you constantly worry about someone making a rude comment his way and upsetting him. In the time you’ve known him, though, the insults seem to roll off his back pretty easily, and you’re unsure how he does it. Every insult repeats in your mind for hours after. 
“Give me five minutes.” Eddie leans over to give you a quick kiss on the lips. 
“What, gotta hide all your cum socks before I go in?”
“I’ve got some class.” Eddie’s breath tickles your lips as he doesn’t lean back just yet. “I washed them yesterday.” 
As he gets out of the van, you laugh to yourself, even when he’s unlocking the door and disappearing inside. You stay inside the vehicle, only unbuckling your seatbelt and glance outside the window. The openness of the area combined with how dark it is leaves you a little unsettled. It’s eerily quiet, and you can tell even with the windows rolled up. A lone cricket and distant barking seems to be the only noise going on around. Turning by your torso, you see there isn’t much to the back of his van, bits of carpet pulling up here and there along the seams, a guitar case covered in stickers similar to what’s on his jackets, and ashtrays with cigarette butts and half smoked joints. There’s a rug thrown in the middle, probably to cover a stain or his attempt to class things up. A sharp knock startled you out of observing the burnt orange and red curves and sharp corners. 
“You okay there?” Eddie teases after opening the passenger door for you. 
“It’s scary as shit out here.” You take his outstretched hand and hop out of the van. “It’s way too quiet.”
“Let me lead you to safety, princess.”
Inside, the trailer is lit by the dim lamp in the corner of the living area, but mostly by the scattered candles along random surfaces leading toward his bedroom. The low lighting flickers off the reflection in the mugs lined along the shelves, and shadows dancing along the walls. Eddie leads you down the short hallway before you can even comment on his romantic decor. You’ve gotten a peek of his bedroom in past visits, but the two of you usually would hang out on the couch, so you know he’s tidied it up for you. There’s still plenty of clutter along his dresser and desk, but his floor is clean from any clothes or trash strewn about. 
He stops you at the end of his bed, your calves brushing against the sheets hanging over the side. Slowly, he brings up your hand to place a kiss on the back of your palm, causing you to shudder. A smile grows on his face and you can see it despite your hand being in the way. He lets go to drag the vest off of your shoulders and when it registers in your mind that he wants it off, you move with him, his face getting close to yours when he has to help your fumbling hands through the holes. You’ve been kissed by him a dozen times but when he dips his chin up to connect your lips, your skin burns in a want you’ve never felt before, as if he’s kissing you for the first time. You both move in sync, dipping down onto the bed, and not breaking contact until he’s hovering over you, delight making his features glow, but you can see the small bit of insecurity in his eyes while he seems to gather up his nerves. 
“Will you be mine?” It’s quiet, intimate, barely above a whisper, but leaves his voice graveling deep enough to send a jolt up your spine. “My girl? Each second with you…” he trails off, shaking his head as his lips split into a grin. “It’s a piece of gold, sweetheart. I want you to be mine.” 
“I-“ you huff out a laugh, his bangs moving with the small gust of air. “I thought I already was. Have been since you kissed me.” 
If his grin could get any bigger, it just did, and his body relaxes, his weight heavier on top of you. The next kiss he gives you is all teeth and tongue, before he calms and kisses you proper. Kisses you like you’ve never been kissed before, his lips and the gentle swipe of his tongue erasing all the others that came before. Your giggle is muffled into his mouth, trying to pull him closer than he already was, but there wasn’t any room left. If you could find it within yourself to let go of his shirt, he could be pressed firmly against you, but then you would just want his shirt off, skin to skin, only for that to still not be enough. 
A small moan from you escapes into his mouth when he grinds his hips down into yours, butterflies erupting in your stomach as he does so. His large hands slide up your hips, your shirt coming up with them, and up your ribs until he’s exposed your chest. You hadn’t even bothered with a bra, not entirely expecting the night to go this far. His eyes widen at the surprise, and his cheeks go pink like he’s never had the pleasure of being inches from any pair of tits. Especially a pair like yours, beautiful and on display just for him. His mouth wraps around your right nipple, his teeth sinking into the perked up flesh, and a pained squeak falls past your lips, the sharp sting only working you up more. As an apology, he releases your nipple to swipe his tongue over it in circles, while his other hand cups your other breast, giving it a perfect squeeze. His lips move down, alternating between kisses and biting the soft flesh of your stomach until he’s positioned between your thighs. Looking up, as if asking permission, to which you nod vigorously in agreement, his hands wrap around your legs to rest them on the top of your thighs, fingers digging into the meat as he kisses the inside of your thighs. You can’t help but squirm when he pushes up the fabric of your skirt with his left hand, the one with all the chunky rings, and leaves it there to rest and places one single kiss on your clothed pussy. 
A broken whimper from you gets him into motion, removing his hand from the thigh for a brief moment, moving your panties to the side and licking up you slowly. Eager, he burrows down, his tongue swirling around your clit, nose pressed against your pubic bone, not minding the scratch of the coarse hair. In desperation to hold onto something to steady your uncontrollable squirming and maybe to just find a grip of reality while your mind floats into a high, your hand falls on his that kneads the flesh of your stomach. The lumpy metal digs into your palm, the pain bringing you further back to reality. His mouth, his hands, his heat leaves you for a moment, looking up to the panting mess that you are, and you whine at the lack of touch. One by one, Eddie removes the large jewelry while maintaining eye contact and tosses them to the side before slowly laying back down on his stomach. Slowly his eyes land on your drenched pussy, and you’d feel uncomfortable if it weren’t for the hunger in his eyes. 
“Wait,” you breathe out. Removing the spare scrunchie from your wrist, you sit up to gather all of his hair quickly, apologizing when your fingers get tangled in the curls, and put it all into a messy bun. You don’t even get to soak up the image of his hair being held by something of yours before he’s gently laying you back down, and his mouth returns to his previous work.
His heavy hands hold your already trembling thighs apart. A hesitant finger hovers near your wet entrance, sliding in slowly. You sigh in relief until he experimentally strokes your core, breath caught in your throat and back arching slightly off the bed. Pleading words, begging breaths, you want for more of his hefty fingers inside you, stretching you out for what you expect to be more later. He complies easy, tongue and fingers moving in sync faster, enjoying every moan that falls past your lips. His name is whined out on repeat, each one raising in tone and intensity along with the pressure in your stomach. He laps up the mess you make as you clench around his fingers and fall over the edge for the first, but not final, time of the night. Soft kisses with the intention of being soothing are scattered along your thighs and stomach as his soaked fingers rub your overstimulated clit, letting you catch your breath as you ride the high just a moment longer.
“Fuck,” you huff, a dazed smile following. “Where’d you learn to do that?”
Eddie moves so he’s hovering over you, chin glistening with his work. “Fantasy novels.”
“No, seriously.” With your thumb, you wipe the wetness off of his chin for him. There’s a beat of silence and you realize he isn’t joking. “Wait, seriously?”
“Well… yeah.” 
You sit both of you up, scooting up his mattress until your back touches the wall. There’s the pull of rejection in his chest the further you move away, the absence of your touch and the distance between the two of you sends a message that you don’t want to go further anymore. 
“But you-” you pause, adjusting your shirt so it isn’t exposing your chest. “You… you’re you.”
“That’s the problem, apparently.” The defeat in his voice makes you wince in regret. 
“No, I mean… you’re in a metal band and-” you almost don’t say it. “And I’ve heard… y’know.”
“That I’ll give a discount for putting out?” Amusement flickers in his eyes at that particular rumor. “Okay, I let one girl give me a handy, but that’s it. I’m a massive virgin otherwise.”
“Oh.” Your voice is small, going quiet so you can process what he’s told you. “Well, if you aren’t comfortable we don’t have to.”
“I set up the place for that purpose.” your stomach twists at the image of him excitedly getting ready, lighting the candles to set the mood all with the cute little smile he gets. “Unless you…”
“I’m not.” You almost feel bad for admitting it, but you didn’t regret losing your virginity to someone else. He didn’t seem jealous, just understanding. “And I wouldn’t mind.”
Eddie’s smile grows. “Good ‘cause I bought an entire box of condoms.” Leaning over, he pulls out the comically large box from his bedside table. 
“Were you expecting a sex marathon?” You gawk. 
“That’d be ideal.” 
You shut him up by swiftly removing your shirt and tossing it in his face. He’s quick to pull it off and toss it to the side, but you’re quicker in moving forward, hands falling on his shoulders and pushing him down so he’s on his back. If his hair were loose, you’d be distracted by the halo it created around his bed, but it isn’t. Instead it’s already fighting the scrunchie, his bangs falling down in sparse strands, making him look more innocent than he ever has. Crawling into his lap, you take care in placing yourself directly on his growing hard-on. His hands slide up your thighs to your waist, gripping tightly while you run yours up the entirety of his torso. A couple tugs on the fabric is your way of asking him to sit up enough so you can take it off. Immediately, your eyes land on the one tattoo you haven't had the pleasure of looking at for longer than a few seconds, and slowly you take in the small patch of hair in the middle of his chest. What gets your mouth watering is the thicker patch leading down underneath his jeans. On his back, you can see the peaks of his hip bones leading down to the short valley to his happy trail.
You drag your nails over the thicker patch of hair, smiling to yourself at his sharp intake of air, the upward tilt of his chin from your peripheral, working him up to squirm just as much as you had. He’s a whimpering mess while you only touch him anywhere besides the one place he wants. Desperate, he moves your hips for you, begging for any amount of friction. Almost defiantly, you scoot back, sitting on his thighs instead, and he huffs indignantly. You smirk, bite your bottom lip to keep from smiling fully at his pouting.
“Please,” he begs breathless, hips jutting into the air despite no available pressure from your weight. 
Giving in, you unbutton his jeans, finding the way they pop open satisfying, and tug slowly on his zipper. You can perfectly see the outline of his dick through his tight boxer briefs. You want to take your time, slowly pull his jeans off first and then his underwear, but that flies out of the window when you see just how girthy he is. You don’t undress him in any manner, running the palm of your hand up his length, a long moan filling the room. Leaning down, you kiss his stomach, his muscles jolting in surprise. You slip your hand past the waistband, fingertips brushing against the tip, already dripping at your light touch. Experimentally, you give a light squeeze when you’ve wrapped your hand fully around him. Using his pre-cum as aid, you start slow, his moans coming from deep in his chest. Slowly, you start increasing your speed, dropping kisses along his skin when he seems to get too quiet. 
“Baby, you gotta stop,” Eddie pants. You pull away completely, confusion and hurt covering your features. “No, no,” he takes your face between his hands. “I’m just gonna explode if you keep touching me like that, and I’m not quite finished with you yet.” 
You pause, blink once as heated shock covers your body over the realization. You almost made him cum too fast. Pride fills your chest, and you aren’t sure if it’s a bad feeling to have, but he returns your sheepish smile by grabbing a condom from the box. With fascination, you watch him as he rolls it on, not having had the luxury of witnessing this part. It was too dark or too quick before. There’s a bit of a struggle and you reach out to help but stop yourself, not wanting to take over. 
“Got it,” he smiles. 
“And you’re sure you want to…?” You aren’t afraid, but this is new to him. You don’t want him to be afraid. Everything should be perfect, though you know nothing ever is. 
“Do you?”
“Of course, Ed’s.” Running a hand down his chest to his stomach, to land on his strained cock, you give a reassuring smile. Before you climb back in his lap, he helps you out of your underwear, watching the way you smoothly throw a leg over him and line yourself up expertly without even looking. Raising your brows to wordlessly ask one more time, he answers by resting his hands on your hips, eyes never leaving yours. As you sink slowly down, there’s the familiar burning stretch that causes you to whimper, even more by his girth, but it’s all covered up by his moans. You bottom out, wiggling experimentally while he adjusts to the feeling.
And then you start moving your hips.
Slow at first, grinding your pussy into him, his head falling back onto the mattress and eyes squeezing shut. If he had any nails, they’d be digging into your skin, leaving crescents behind to remind you of this moment later, but his fingers are dull, pushing and pulling you into a perfect rhythm. Leaning down, you press kisses and soft bites onto his neck, your tits flat against his chest and moving with every desperate thrust he gives into you. You support yourself by your forearms, stopping your movements and letting him fuck himself into you. He’s a beautiful flustered mess when you look at him. He opens his eyes just a sliver to catch your smile. 
“Feel good?” You ask, voice soft.
“Mm-hm.” He can’t even speak, brows furrowed together roughly. “‘M gonna—“
“Go ahead.” You place a kiss on his pulse point, swallowing your moans as he thrusts harder, hitting your g-spot. His arms wrap around your waist holding you still, his hips becoming more erratic. “C’mon baby,” you coo. 
“Fuck,” he breathes out, giving a few good thrusts before his hips stutter. You give him a moment to catch his breath, the only sound in the room being his panting. 
Leaning back, you smother his face in kisses, feeling his laughter vibrate underneath your chest. 
“Hey,” you say semi-serious, his soft eyes meeting yours. “You did great.”
“I sure hope so.” He finally slides out of you and you whine in indignation, missing the feeling of him already. 
“You did.” You insist. 
There’s this moment where he almost looks like he believes you and you get this warm mushy feeling in your chest at the realization that you’ve had your first time together. Not in the back of his van but in a lovingly decorated trailer with zero chances of being interrupted. To top it all off, you’re also officially his girlfriend. 
“Sweetheart?” He breaks you out of your revere. “Kinda need you off of me to get this thing off.”
“And then we cuddle.”
He smiles. “And then we cuddle.” 
Rolling onto your back, you realize you’ve still got your skirt on, laughing to yourself as you take it off. You look around and find a shirt, unsure of whose it could be, and slip it on, watching Eddie walk out of the room despite promising to get back in bed. A moment later, he returns with a damp rag, gently spreading your legs and cleaning you up the best he knows how.
“I got it, thank you.” You take it from him gently, getting the spots he couldn’t and hand it back. He immediately tosses it behind his shoulder, hoping it lands in his laundry basket. “Eddie, gross.” 
“No time, my dear.” He crawls in right behind you, pulling his comforter over the both of you so you don’t end up cold. His nose nuzzles into the back of your neck, lips leaving soft kisses on the top of your spine. 
“I can’t sleep over,” you remind him, eyelids already feeling heavy.
“I know.”
“My dad wants me back before midnight.”
“I know.”
A hand snakes over your side, wrapping around your middle to pull you flush into his chest. He breathes you in, the smell of your honey shampoo tingling his senses. 
“Eddie?” 
“Hm?” He sounds sleepy and you know you’re in trouble. 
“We can officially do it in your van, now.”
“Finally,” he teases. 
Tag list: @hesvoid3434 @jane-ways @akiratoro420 @ali-r3n @stupid-infinity (there were a couple of you it wouldn't let me tag, sorry <;3)
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gleasonlovesjasontodd · 4 months
Text
part three of my jason headcannons i am so happy that you guys love them and enjoy my writing!!!
after a while of dating he already has a ring and it’s hidden in his nightstand
i also believe very strongly that he likes to lay his head against your heartbeat when he is about to go to bed because it calms him and makes him feel safe knowing you are by him and keeps away the nightmares he has
i also believe that he carries a photo of you in his wallet like a sweet photo that he took of you without knowing and only he knows about it
i feel like he would have that hot hand writing like it’s kinda messy but not too messy where you can’t read it
i don’t think this is a head canon i think this is actually true i can’t quite remember but he definitely smokes when he is very stressed out probably caused by bruce and one night you catch him you don’t get mad because you understand bruce and his relationship you kinda just hug him softly i also believe he would smoke shirtless
his body temperature is literally perfect for every season it’s winter time his body is warm it’s summer his body is cool and its like that because of the lazarus pit
definitely emergency kits all over y’all’s apartment like one hidden in a random table that’s in a hallway one on top of the fridge one in a nightstand and tons in your bathroom
if you’re a girly girl like me and like pink things that man is not ashamed to sleep in a pink bed with pink floral sheets or monogrammed pillows in fact he would probably feel more comfortable because he just thinks of you
he doesn’t spend money on expensive clothes or shoes like bruce (or me lmao) but i feel like he would buy a nice watch i personally see him as silver kinda guy i also think he would be a very on time person
probably has a book filled with alfred recipes that alfred gave him after he took you to the manor and you wouldn’t shut up about how good the food was and especially alfred cookies so jason asked alfred very nicely for the recipe so he could surprise you but alfred is one step ahead and wrote it all down for jason and a couple of night later when he doesn’t have patrol you come home late from work and see a nice dinner with jason and you immediately know that this is the man you want to marry
I HOPE YALL ENJOY THIS I’M SORRY THIS TOOK LONG I ONLY HAVE ONE MORE DAY LEFT OF FINALS -gleason 🎀🎀🎀
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steddieas-shegoes · 9 months
Note
Request: wrong number au, Eddie texts Gareth something personal but puts in 1 wrong number & ends up texting Steve. The two of them hit it off & start chatting & then when they meet IRL they are completely head over heels in love & its cute as fuck
MY LOVE MY LOVE MY LOVE!!! LOVE A GOOD WRONG NUMBER AU!!! I can't believe I've never written it before now. I also had to actually include Gareth because I am actually obsessed with him lately, and I just think it's really neat that we can make these characters our own. This was such a fun and cute request! I didn't do the inappropriate route because I thought this was hilarious so sorry about that. I made up for it with something else! - Mickala ❤️
----------------------------------------------------------
GARE BEAR! You won’t believe it but i dropped my phone in a sewer. Lost everything.
He had never been so happy about having his closest friends’ numbers memorized. His phone was somewhere under the streets of Chicago, floating through dirty water and sewage, dying a slow and painful death.
He texted everyone else one at a time, let them know he had a new number and to completely delete the old one because it would never be recovered.
They were used to things like this happening; He lost his phone annually at this point and it was cheaper just to get a new number than transfer everything to a new one.
He went to dial Wayne, the old school part of him insisting on phone calls instead of texts still, when Gareth’s name popped up with a new text.
Not sure who Gare Bear is, but sorry about your phone. That’s shitty.
Eddie let out a loud laugh.
did you mean to make a pun?
Did it make you laugh?
yes
Then yes.
Eddie sat down on a bench, entirely focused on his conversation with this stranger.
Did you find your Gare Bear yet?
Not yet but i think i’m pretty happy talking to you for now
Smooth, Eddie.
Admittedly, he was in a hell of a dry spell.
Going on almost two years, actually.
A little flirting with a stranger never hurt anybody, not when he clearly needed some practice.
Not sure if your Gare Bear would like it very much though
Wait, what?
Eddie stared at his phone, trying to comprehend what that could mean. Why would Gareth not want him talking to a stranger?
I hope you find your partner though!
Oh.
Oh!
Eddie hit the call button in the corner before he could even register what he was doing.
“Hello?”
Oh no, he sounded hot.
“Hi. So, Gareth is very much not my partner. He probably actually wishes I would really forget his number,” Eddie rushed out.
“Um. Okay?”
“He’s been my best friend for ten years and he thinks I’m a mess. Not a partner,” Eddie further clarified.
“Got it. Not a partner.”
“Yes, exactly.”
They stayed silent for a moment before Eddie coughed.
“I’m Eddie, by the way.”
“Steve. Sorry about your phone, seriously that sucks,” he sounded genuinely apologetic, like he personally threw Eddie’s phone in the sewer.
“Oh, no big deal. I lose my phone more often than I go out with someone,” Eddie said.
Why did he say that?
Steve let out a laugh and it was like music.
Eddie couldn’t help the smile taking over his face at his laugh, already knew he wasn’t gonna be able to let this guy go without learning more about him.
“So you’re, what? Celibate?” Steve asked.
“Far from it. Well, maybe not far from it. Temporarily, maybe. It’s been a while,” Eddie admitted.
“How long?” Steve asked, a loud bang coming from his end of the phone. “Sorry, I had to go outside for some privacy.”
Eddie wasn’t going to read into that. He wasn’t.
“Two years give or take. I mean I’m not counting shitty dates that ended before they got worse. So, yeah. Two years.”
“Been a year for me, but. Yeah, I get it. My last relationship didn’t end on the best terms. She decided I was too in love with her I guess,” Steve sighed, voice sounding pained.
She.
Steve was probably straight.
There was no way he’d be lucky enough for Steve to like men.
Or for Steve to like him.
“I can’t really imagine breaking up with someone because they loved me too much. I’m usually the one who falls too hard,” Eddie admitted.
“Yeah, well, same here,” Steve sounded sad, a bit withdrawn.
Eddie wanted to hear him laugh again.
“I doubt either of us have ever fallen as hard as my phone did down a drain,” Eddie said sadly.
Steve let out a loud laugh and Eddie smiled.
“This might sound crazy, but I’m kind of glad your phone decided to live in the sewers,” Steve said when he finally calmed down. “And maybe a little too happy that you typed your friend’s number wrong.”
“Oh really? Why’s that?”
Was this flirting? Was he successfully having a flirtatious conversation with a potentially very hot guy?
“So I can be bold and ask if you maybe wanted to meet up somewhere?” Steve asked hesitantly.
“So you’re in Chicago?” Eddie asked.
“Yeah. You?”
“For the last five years, yeah.”
“You busy tonight?”
Eddie’s heart stopped.
He was really going to meet up with a stranger just because he liked his laugh and hoped he was hot.
He’d done more with less.
“Yeah, actually. I’m getting dinner with this guy I accidentally texted,” Eddie smirked, looking down at his feet.
“Dinner? What a lucky guy. Where are you going?” Steve sounded amused.
“Well, it depends on what he likes. I’ve been craving some pierogies. Ever been to Staropolska?” Eddie asked.
Gareth’s family owned it, and he used to eat there two or three times a week while they were in college, usually working off his bill in the kitchen doing dishes after.
He hadn’t been in a couple months, work keeping him busy and his budget being pretty tight when he moved into a studio apartment by himself.
He had enough to treat himself tonight though.
“The one on Milwaukee? Yeah. One of my favorite places to get devolay,” Steve sounded surprised that he knew it.
“You won’t believe this, but the friend I was trying to text when I got you, his family owns that place.”
“No way! Then we have to. We owe it to the guy who has almost my exact phone number,” Steve responded.
“Meet you there at seven?” Eddie asked, suddenly more nervous.
“Seven sounds good.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
Steve giggled. Eddie fell in love.
“We should probably hang up.”
“Should we?” Eddie asked, not wanting to stop talking to him yet.
“Yes, I have to do my hair. Gotta impress the guy who drops his phone in the sewer and texts strangers about it.”
“He sounds like a loser. Don’t put too much effort in,” Eddie sighed. “But okay. See you at seven.”
“See you then.”
They both stayed on the line for a minute.
“Okay. For real. Bye,” Steve laughed.
“Bye, Stevie.”
He hung up before he could convince himself to talk to him for the rest of the afternoon.
He breathed out a loud sigh, smiling as he realized he had a date.
He dialed Gareth’s real number immediately.
“Gareth, I have a date!”
“What is this number, Eddie?”
“Oh, I dropped my phone in the sewers. Not important. I have a date!”
“Jesus Christ. Okay. Come over then.”
—-----------------------------------
Gareth had been his pre-date hype man since high school, though he wasn’t very good at it.
Mostly he calmed Eddie’s nerves and helped make sure his hair didn’t look like he just woke up, which was often its unfortunate state of being.
“So, you don’t know this guy,” Gareth said from his bed.
“No.”
“And you talked for like two seconds and decided you’re in love with him,” he continued.
“Yes.”
“And you think this is totally normal and sane?”
“I didn’t say that. But we just…I dunno. We clicked. I haven’t been that at ease with someone in a long time. It felt natural,” Eddie fell back on his bed, starfishing so his arm and leg hit Gareth’s legs.
“Dude, I’m not discouraging it. I’m happy for you. I just don’t want you to be disappointed if it isn’t as easy when you meet,” Gareth said softly.
“Yeah, thanks. I think it’ll be okay, though.”
“Alright. Tell babcia I’m coming by tomorrow for lunch.”
Eddie sat up and gave Gareth a quick hug.
“Thanks Gare Bear!”
—-------------------------------------------
He arrived 20 minutes early so he could sneak in the back to say hi to Gareth’s grandmother, who still insisted on getting her hands on the food every day for a couple of hours despite being nearly 80 years old.
“Babcia!”
“Eddie! My kochany! You forget to visit and I forget what you look like!” she rushed over, flour and oil stains all over her apron.
He should have kept some distance so his shirt didn’t get ruined, but he ignored the part of his brain telling him to look perfect for his date so he could get a hug.
“You know I have to watch my money,” he said against her shoulder.
“And you know I feed you for free if you clean up after yourself. No excuse,” she pulled away and looked him over. “You look handsome. Why?”
Eddie put his hands on his hips.
“What? Don’t I always look handsome?”
“Of course, but this is different. Your hair is smooth and you smell like the perfume store,” she smirked. “Is it a girl? Or a boy? Or a someone?”
“It’s a boy. We’ve never met in person, so I wanted to make a good first impression,” he admitted.
“Oh! How lovely! What’s his name?” She was back to kneading dough, but kept her eyes on him.
“Steve. He actually has been here before, loves the devolay?”
Babcia froze.
“Steve? Oh goodness.” She turned to the sink and washed her hands, muttering under her breath about something.
Eddie’s heart sank. Babcia didn’t seem happy about this.
“What’s wrong? You know him?”
“Oh, yes.”
“Is he not a good guy? Has he been mean to you? I’ll call and cancel right now,” he insisted, reaching for his phone in his pocket.
“No, no. Nothing like that. He is a very sweet boy. He got broken up with in this restaurant a few months back. Tore me to pieces. He just sat here for hours crying. I moved him to a corner booth for his privacy and he left me a $100 tip and ever since then when he comes in I make sure to give him as many szarlotka as he wants.” She touched Eddie’s shoulder. “You be good to him. He has a nice heart.”
Eddie’s mind raced.
Why had Steve agreed to come here for a date if this is where he’d been broken up with? Why did he even bother coming back if it held such bad memories?
What if he didn’t see this as a date?
The front door chimed and he heard the employee at the front welcome someone.
“He will be good for you, drogi.”
Eddie nodded before making his way to the front, stopping in his tracks when he saw the most beautiful man he’d ever seen standing at the podium, talking to the employee with a smile.
“That’s him,” Babcia said from behind him. “Go get him.”
She shoved him forward, nearly making him trip, which caught the attention of Steve.
He looked over with a curious smile, and then realization seemed to hit him.
“Steve?” Eddie managed to ask, loud enough to be heard over the few full tables in the restaurant.
“Eddie?” he asked back, hesitantly moving towards him.
“I, um,” Eddie started, then cleared his throat. “I usually sit by the window, if that’s okay?”
“That’s perfect,” Steve nodded.
It was cliche, like the room around them closed into just them existing together, like the stars had aligned exactly right for this moment to happen.
They sat down at the table Eddie usually sat at, staring across the table at each other in slight awe.
Eddie really hoped that Steve was having the same feelings he was.
But one thing was stopping Eddie from being completely enraptured.
“Is this a date?” he asked suddenly.
“What?” Steve seemed surprised by his question. “I mean, yeah. I’d like it to be. I thought it was.”
Eddie nodded once, but remained quiet, thinking.
“Oh God, it wasn’t, was it? You were just being nice. What is it with this restaurant? If I didn’t love the food so much or babcia, I would never step foot here again, I swear-”
Eddie put his hand on Steve’s to calm him down, frown on his face.
“Woah. What?”
“I just. I don’t have the best history with dates here and I guess I didn’t learn the first time something bad happened, and now I’m being too much too fast again in this place and-”
Eddie pulled Steve’s hand up to his face, placing a soft kiss to his knuckles.
“Stevie, calm down. This is a date. I’ll have as many dates here as you want to to get rid of whatever negative stuff you associate with this place. Babcia would hate that I ruined this place for you,” he said quietly.
Steve seemed to relax at his words.
And if you wanna tell me about what happened, you can. If it’ll help,” Eddie offered.
Before Steve could reply, Gareth’s cousin, Ben, came to take their order.
It was a quick order, both knowing exactly what they wanted, and then Steve looked back at him.
“It’s just. My last girlfriend, who I was with for almost three years, dumped me here. It was kind of out of the blue for me, and I had a really hard time that night.”
Eddie felt his heart break.
How could someone do that to Steve? He didn’t need to know him better to know that he didn’t deserve that, especially not if babcia had taken him under her wing so quickly.
“She must be awful to have let you go like that,” Eddie squeezed Steve’s hand in his, resisting the urge to go to his side of the table and hold him.
Steve shrugged and looked down at their hands.
“I mean, I should have known. She was never much for romance or spending time together that didn’t involve work or school. I was looking at engagement rings and she was looking at apartments to get away from me. I was just…really blinded by what I thought was love,” Steve smiled sadly at him.
“It wasn’t?”
“Well, it may have been a type of love. It was more comfort than anything. She was kind of all I had for the first year we were together, and I think I just ignored how unhealthy that was for both of us. And then I met Robin in college, and she was like the opposite of Nancy in every way. A few months before Nancy broke up with me, I told her that Robin’s parents kicked her out when she came out to them and that she needed a place to stay until we graduated. She agreed, then never made any attempt at getting to know her. And I didn’t read into it, Nancy isn’t like, super talkative with people she isn’t already close with, and Robin just kinda stayed to herself when Nancy was home.” Steve took a shaky breath. “But it turns out she didn’t bother getting to know her because she already knew she was gonna break up with me and leave the apartment to me and Robin, so.she just. Didn’t bother. Robin warned me, but I didn’t listen.”
Eddie wanted to cry.
Steve’s voice was full of pain, but not in a way that told him he still loved her, or still hoped they would get back together. More that she broke a part of him that he still hadn’t been able to fix no matter how hard he tried or wanted to.
“Was she jealous?” Eddie asked, trying so hard to understand what could have happened.
“I dunno. I mean, Robin’s a lesbian, and I definitely never had feelings for her anyway. Nancy was always so sure of herself, I can’t imagine she’d be jealous.”
“It sounds like she didn’t appreciate you very much.”
“What do you mean?” Steve didn’t sound mad, just curious.
“Well, she didn’t even make an effort to get to know your best friend, right? And it sounds like she was too busy focusing on her future to even think about what you looked like in it, and instead of trying to plan it with you, she made a future for her. She sounds a bit selfish,” Eddie shrugged.
Instead of being upset, Steve laughed.
God, Eddie loved that laugh.
“Sorry, it’s just that you sound exactly like Robin. You’d probably be two peas in a pod.”
“Tell me about her,” Eddie genuinely wanted to know more about the person who kept Steve going.
Their food arrived in the middle of the story of how Steve and Robin met, but it didn’t stop him from continuing.
Eddie listened with a fond smile, filling in Steve’s gaps of silence as he chewed a bite of food with questions or something related to what he’d been talking about.
It was easy.
It was fun.
Halfway through the meal, Steve’s foot rested against one of his and it felt like electricity shooting through his bones.
Eddie told him about Gareth, and his family who had pretty much adopted him when they both moved here from a small town in Indiana. He talked about his uncle who raised him for most of his life, who visited every Christmas despite being on a really tight budget.
Time passed quickly, but not at all.
They hadn’t realized how long they’d been sitting there until babcia came out without her apron to hand deliver an apple tart.
“You boys enjoy. I’ll see you both soon!” she said as she smacked a kiss on top of each of their heads.
Both of them blushed, but tried to cover it up with a bite of food.
As they finished, Steve looked outside to see how dark it was, how few people were left walking the streets.
“Guess we should head out,” he muttered, sounding like that was the last thing he wanted to do.
“Would you wanna come to my place? We don’t have to do anything except talk, I promise. I just don’t really want this to end yet,” Eddie suggested.
“Really? I haven’t bored you?” Steve asked, just a hint of self-deprecation in his tone.
Eddie shook his head.
“Not at all. I’d really like to get a chance to love you the way you deserve,” Eddie said.
Steve’s eyes widened.
Eddie should back up, should say something less intense.
But if this ruined it, then at least he said what he was thinking.
“You think you could love me?” Steve asked, barely more than a whisper.
“I think I already do a little,” Eddie admitted.
Steve blinked at him for a moment, mouth slightly agape.
“I need to kiss you,” he finally said.
“Now? Here?” Eddie smiled.
“Now. Here.”
“I won’t stop you.”
Steve stood from the table and stood in front of Eddie, placing both hands on his cheeks and leaning down.
Their lips brushed in a barely-there kiss, softer than Eddie expected.
Steve stayed there for a moment, eyes closed, and Eddie couldn’t help the words tumbling from him.
“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”
If someone had said it to him, he would think they were just trying to get him into their bed, but that wasn’t the case here and he hoped Steve knew that.
“People used to call me a charmer, but I don’t think I’m half as good at it as you,” Steve whispered, his breath ghosting against Eddie’s lips.
“Just honest.”
“Take me home,” Steve said, opening his eyes and staring at Eddie, his eyes glowing with something close to love.
—-------------------------------------
They stayed up all night, never doing more than kissing and mapping out patterns on each others’ skin.
They talked about everything, even the painful parts of life, even the parts that they hadn’t shared with anyone else.
It didn’t make any sense that someone who had been a stranger not even 24 hours ago could already mean so much.
When the sun started to shine through the curtains of Eddie’s apartment, Steve sighed and buried his face in Eddie’s neck.
“I have to go to work,” though he burrowed his entire body further into the bed and Eddie’s side.
“You could call in sick,” Eddie suggested, pressing a kiss to the top of Steve’s head.
“Robin would kill me.”
He and Robin worked together as team teachers at an elementary school. When one of them missed, it left the other with 34 kids alone.
Plus, Steve loved his job, worked hard to be a teacher, and hated missing a day if he didn’t need to.
“Maybe you could bring Robin here after work? I can make dinner?” Eddie’s job was pretty easy, marketing for an Indie record label based out of New York remotely really kept him busy for a couple hours a day and the rest of the time was spent writing his own music.
Steve sat up and looked down at him, his hair ruffled from Eddie running his fingers through it for the last eight hours.
“You’d wanna meet Robin?”
“Yeah, if you want me to. She sounds like fun.”
Steve started crying.
“Oh shit, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you cry. Good job, Munson, already ruined something good,” Eddie was reaching for a tissue from his bedside table.
“No, no, I’m sorry. I’m just tired and emotional. And just. It means a lot that you’d wanna meet her,” Steve said between gasps for air as he continued to cry.
“Of course I do. I could even invite Gareth over, too, if you want. He won’t believe that our date went well,” Eddie joked, brushing the tears away from Steve’s cheeks.
“I’d love to meet him,” Steve said, sniffling.
“When can you guys get here?”
“Usually we’re done by four, but sometimes we stay later to finish grading stuff. Maybe we should say six?”
“Got it. Any allergies?”
“Robin is allergic to shellfish. She says she is. I think she just doesn’t like them,” Steve rolled his eyes.
“No shellfish, got it. Any preferences, my love?”
Steve blushed at the term of endearment, looking down before he leaned in to kiss Eddie softly.
“Anything you make will be great.”
“You wanna borrow some clothes for work?” Eddie asked.
“Do you have any business casual stuff?”
Eddie gagged.
“Unfortunately, it’s required for the job sometimes. Far left of the closet should have something,” he nodded towards the small closet by the bathroom.
Eddie watched as Steve walked over and picked out his only pair of khaki pants and a navy button down. Steve looked back at him and winked before he nodded towards the bathroom.
“Could use some help working the shower if you’re willing to,” he smirked.
Eddie jumped up from the bed and ran into the bathroom, ignoring the way Steve was laughing.
“The hot water is tricky sometimes. I should probably get in there too to make sure it stays hot,” Eddie said as he stripped off his pants.
“Definitely. Wouldn’t want me to get cold,” Steve put a hand on his shoulder to slow him down. “Kiss me?”
Eddie leaned in to kiss him slowly, letting his tongue brush along his lips just to get a taste.
“Okay?” Eddie checked in.
“Yeah. You remember what you said last night? About loving me like I deserve?”
Eddie nodded.
“I want you to. And I want to love you back.”
“I think we can arrange that.”
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Text
riptide
“I was scared of dentists and the dark I was scared of pretty girls and starting conversations Oh, all my friends are turning green You're the magician's assistant in their dream”
summary: going on the camp's field trip to olympus because clarisse asked you to, meeting your father and clarisse's father and also, there are new updates from camp - luke gone, and percy's arrival
pairing: clarisse la rue x f!reader
word count: 6.7k (14 year old me would never believe me if i said i casually wrote a 6k chapter)
tags: mostly fluff, tiny splash and angst
series masterlist 3/?
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The date ended really late – you fell asleep on the beach, and Clarisse didn’t have the heart to wake you up. She didn’t dare, you looked too peaceful to disturb. You loved taking naps and whenever you were around Clarisse, you felt safe enough to do so. By the time you woke up, it was already dark, and Clarisse had put your blouse back on you because it started to get chilly. When you realised what time it was, you hurried Clarisse and grabbed all your bags before leaving the beach. 
The ride back home was quite long, and once you got into camp, it was really quiet. You and Clarisse tried to be quiet, and walked slowly towards your cabins, but then you heard footsteps. Both of you whipped around. Chiron, hands on his hip and Mr D, standing next to him. 
“Hi,” you waved.
Clarisse swiftly grabbed your hand to put it down. 
“You missed the curfew,” Mr D said.
“What– What curfew? There was one?” you hesitated, looking at Clarisse.
“Yes,” Mr D continued, “it was written, black on white, that you should be home before 9pm. And it’s, would you look at that,” he showed you his watch-less wrist, “it’s past 11!”
“We– I didn’t know,” you explained, “I- I mean– I can’t read and neither can she.”
Chiron shook his head, and Clarisse stepped in front of you, shielding you from their disappointed faces. 
“We’re sorry, we didn’t see the time.”
Your hand was grabbing tightly onto Clarisse’s arm.  
“Go back to your cabins and rest,” Chiron said.
“Yeah, cause you’ll need it for the cleaning duties you’ll get for the whole week or month, I still haven’t decided yet haha,” Mr D finished and walked away. 
You were once again alone. You sighed.
“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, not daring to look at her. 
“What for?”
“I should’ve read the whole letter, I should've known and now because of me you’ll have cleaning duties for maybe a whole month!”
“I don’t mind, I had a great time today,” you raised your head up at this, “I’ll do another month again if it means we get to do that again.”
“Really?” you smiled.
“Really, now go to sleep.”
It ended up being a whole month of cleaning duties, but neither of you cared because you got to be together.
Your summer was split between three people, Clarisse, Will and Lee. 
Fighting and combat with Clarisse. Clarisse was ruthless, not letting you rest for a bit, always pushing you to your limits. She had one thing in mind and that was for you to be the best version of yourself. You were progressing fast which she was extremely proud of. Just like Luke said, you were a natural fighter, and everyone noticed that during Capture the Flag. You went from hiding behind Clarisse the whole time from leading the fight. 
Archery lessons from Lee. Lee was also very insistent as a teacher. Never letting you rest. 
“Hitting a still target is easy, a child could do it,” Lee told you in his first lesson. “But no monster is going to stay still for you to hit it at your pace. So, we’ll practise on moving targets, fast and unpredictable ones.”
And he was right, it was much more difficult. There was no time for you to prepare, and see where the wind went. But after some practice, it was easier. He was a good teacher, after all. You were tired and sore at the end of every day, which seemed a bit excessive for a fun, safe, summer camp for half bloods. They looked like they were preparing you for war at this pace. And when you had some free time, you spent it with Cornelia painting and playing old board games they had in the cabins. It was a great way to relax. 
Alongside sharpening your skills, you also spent an absurd amount of time at the infirmary with Will. Michael was the one teaching you everything, with a tiny Will following you there too. He was absorbing information at an incredible pace.
“Isn’t he a bit young to be learning all of this?” you asked Michael.
“Yeah, but he’s good at it, so who cares? Surely not Mr D.”
Will was a really nice kid, and obviously a natural healer. With the two of you at the infirmary, Michael was able to leave for longer periods of time. Will and you often held karaoke afternoons while cleaning the infirmary. And this time, it was your turn to choose the song. So, You and Will were dueting ‘august’ by Taylor Swift when someone came in.
“But do you remember? Remember when I pulled up and said, "Get in the car" And then canceled my plans just in case you'd call? Back when I was livin' for the hope of it all, for the hope of it all "Meet me behind the mall" Remember–” you sang with Will. 
“You’re having fun here,” Clarisse leaned on the doorframe. 
You screamed, and turned around. 
“Clarisse! Hi,” Will waved.
She gave you a questioning look. They had never met.
“This is Will Solace, my brother,” you smiled.
“Yeah, y/n talks about you all the time!” Will smile proudly, before you shoved him aside.
“Betrayal, I said all of these things in confidence, but whatever,” you dragged him outside. “Go grab some more supplies, we’re missing ambrosia.”
“But it’s ful–.”
You slammed the door. 
“He doesn’t know what he’s saying,” you laughed, turning back to Clarisse. 
“Sure,” she smirked. 
“What are you doing here anyway?”
“I forgot to give you something.”
“A gift?” you beamed.
She took out a small tissue bag from her pocket and handed it to you. You opened it, and let the object slip into your palm. A ring.
“Are you proposing?” you joked. 
She rolled her eyes, and smiled. 
“I watched you pick this size when choosing yours, so you shouldn’t lose this one.”
“Thank you, it’s so pretty I love it!” you put it on your left index. 
Clarisse had the one you gave her on her necklace. 
“Great, don’t lose it.”
“I won’t!”
And just like that – in the blink of an eye –  summer was over, and it was time for you to leave camp and go back home. You knew it was time to leave when Mr D started yelling that those who weren’t staying for the year to leave immediately because he had enough of seeing you bunch. When you walked away from your cabin, you noticed Clarisse was already waiting for you at the entrance of camp.
“I guess this is goodbye,” she smiled.
“Until October, for the field trip,” you corrected her. “I talked to Mr D and he said it was ok for me to come. So really it’s only two months away! And I’ll send letters, I’m sure Hermes Express have those next day delivery types of… offers?”
“Sure.”
You fiddled with your fingers. 
“I’m going to miss you,” you admitted. “And I’ll miss Capture the Flag and being on your team, and I’ll miss sparing with you, and I’ll miss… seeing you everyday.”
Her eyes softened. 
“Only two months, like you said.”
You nodded. Then, hesitantly, you opened your arms. 
“What?” Clarisse frowned. 
“We should hug goodbye.”
She had her arms crossed, but then she uncrossed them and you went to wrap your arms around her torso. She hesitantly wrapped her arms around your shoulders. When her arms loosened, you let go. 
“I’ll see you soon Clarisse,” you squeezed her arm, before walking away.
“See you soon sunshine,” Clarisse watched you walk away, “I’ll miss you too,” but you were already too far away to hear it. 
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Once you were back home, the first thing you did was to go find your mom’s old walkerman. You had to go search the old boxes your mom had put away in the attic – it was difficult but worth it.
“Why do you need this?” your mother asked once you came out of the attic with her walkerman. 
“It’s for— my friend?”
“Clarisse?”
“Yes. Clarisse.”
When you told your mother about your summer at camp, it had included a lot of Clarisse related stories. 
“And I told her I’d send letters so we could keep in touch, but now I realise I can’t write for the life of me, and even if I did write something, she’s spent too much time trying to decipher what I wrote, and it's just not– good. So I thought I’d send her this,” you waved the walkerman, “and I’d buy empty cassettes to record things, and send pictures along with it.”
“Oh, that’s a very nice thing to do,” she nodded. 
“Oh! I forgot to tell you– to ask you really. Hm, there is this field trip at camp… in october. It’d be during the halloween vacations, so I won’t miss school. Can I go, please?”
“Sure, I don’t see why not.”
Well that was easy. 
So every week, you’d record what you did and update Clarisse about your life, you’d take pictures and buy her favourite snacks — you tried out a lot during your date — and ship it to camp half-blood. Clarisse would also send you pictures. The dinner, pictures of Will and behind one of his pictures he’d written ‘i miss u <3’ on the back, people training, their win at Capture the Flag, and you’d keep everything in a box dedicated to Clarisse. 
Two months. Two months at camp went by fast, too fast even. But two months at school, minus your friends and the fun at camp, it was slow. You woke up every day at 6:45am, got ready and left for school, came back around 5:50pm and did your homework, ate, washed-up, and then scrolled on twitter, fighting with random accounts, and then went to sleep. Your routine was boring to no end, but you tried so you could have things to tell Clarisse. But life outside of camp was boring and your mother could see that.
“You know, if you wanted to stay at camp for the whole year, I wouldn’t stop you.”
Oh.
“But, what about you then? I don’t want you to live alone in this big ass mansion.”
“I’m an adult, I’ll be fine,” she reassured you.
“I won’t, knowing you’ll be alone.”
Your mom wasn’t on good terms with her parents after they learned that she’d be raising a kid alone, without marriage or even a boyfriend. After you were born, they did visit and spent time with you, but never with your mom, their daughter. So she couldn’t even call them to come live with her. You weren’t going to abandon her when she only has you. 
“I–,” she put her chopsticks down, “I met someone at work.”
“What! What does that mean?”
“It means, I’ve been seeing someone.”
“Oh my– you’re trying to get rid of me to have—” you stared at her, mouth wide open from shock, “sex,” you mouthed. 
“Oh grow up y/n, I’m an adult, where do you think you came from.”
“Uh– rude.”
“I’m just saying, this is your last year in high school, if next year you want to stay at camp, you can.”
“And you’d be fine with it?”
She nodded.
“What if I want to stay here, at home?”
“Then you’d stay here, as long as you want, this is your home as well.”
“I’ll– I’ll think about it.”
And then it was finally time to leave for camp again. Your mom drove you to the airport and you left with your suitcase in hand. It was the longest flight ever, and the cab seemed to be driving even slower than a snail. An old lady on foot was faster than this, but then you were finally there. 
“Are you sure this is where you want to get out?” the cab driver asked, seeing the empty road.
“Yes,” you gave him the money, “keep the change, bye.”
When you arrived at camp, Chiron was waiting for you at the entrance already, and you greeted him happily. 
“How was the trip to camp?” 
“Great. Long and tiring for sure, but I’m so excited too.”
“Good, we’re going to leave soon, you can go put your things in your cabin first.”
The first one to spot you was Cornelia, and she came running to hug you. And then Will came in very quickly to give you a hug as well. 
“I missed you guys so much,” you smiled. 
“I wish you were staying here all the time,” Will said. “I’m all alone at the infirmary.”
“You’re leaving him alone?” you gasped at Michael. 
“He kicked me out! Said you had a whole system going on there and I wasn’t following it correctly.”
“He also wasn’t doing karaoke afternoons with me,” Will told you.
“How dare he. That’s ‘cause he has no taste.”
“I can hear you,” Michael stood beside you.
“Do you mind? I’m having a private conversation.”
“Yeah do you mind, we’re having a private conversation,” Will repeated. 
It felt great to be at camp – it felt safe, familiar and comforting. You put your suitcase beside your bed, and grabbed some chocolate bars  from your backpack and put them in your pocket. Will, who stayed by your side, pleaded with his eyes to get one too and you couldn’t resist. 
“I’ll give you more later,” you promised him.
You left your cabin with your siblings as it was time to leave camp. Everyone was on their way to the entrance. You looked around, hoping to catch Clarisse, and there she was, way ahead of you. You turned around, facing your siblings and after a brief “see you up there”, you ran off. 
Clarisse was talking to her brother, and she looked around for you. She was expecting you to be beside Chiron at the entrance, but you weren't. Maybe you were late? When suddenly, she felt someone jump on her back, and her immediate response was to grab their arm and throw them on the ground. 
“Ugh! Motherfucker,” you moaned, laying on the ground, with Clarisse holding down on your arm on the ground. 
“What the hell!” Clarisse immediately let go and helped you get up. “Why would you do that?”
“I wanted to surprise you,” you rubbed your arm. “Why would you do that?”
“You jumped on me! Are you ok?” Clarisse worried. 
You stared at her, dumbstruck. 
“No! I’m not!”
Just when she was about to talk, Chiron called for all the campers to gather around, and you left without giving her the chance to speak. Your whole back was aching, and you tried not to think about it too much, but that was impossible because of Clarisse’s strength. Clarisse tried to grab your arm to slow you down, but you shook her off. Then, Michael and Lee just had to get involved. 
“Butt off Clarisse,” Michael squeezed himself between you two. “Didn’t you do enough by crushing y/n to dust? So much for being friends,” he snickered. 
“Fuck off Michael unless you want to wake up in the morning missing your front row teeth,” Clarisse spat.
Michael did back away a little, bumping into you. 
“How can you be friends with her,” he turned around to look at you. 
Clarisse has been wondering the same thing for the past few days. The Apollo cabin and the Ares cabin weren’t known to be friendly with each other. They tolerated each other at best when they were on the same team for Capture the Flag, but that was it. And when you left, she started to wonder about your friendship. Maybe you’d forget about her once you’re back at home. And the first week, all she could think about was when – or if – you’d reach out. 
But every Sunday, at 9:00am she’d receive a package with your recording and pictures and candy for your siblings and her. You had never given her any reason to doubt your relationship, but not everyone in your cabin, or at camp, were thinking that way. Michael had been one of those people, always wondering loud and clear about your friendship. So that was Clarisse’s final straw. 
She grabbed Michael’s collar, ready to punch him, but Lee tried to calm the situation down. 
“Clarisse, please don’t,” Lee grabbed Michael’s hands, “he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”
“He clearly does. He’s been talking about it nonstop for the past few weeks.”
You frowned. You looked at Michael, then Lee and finally at Clarisse. The pure rage in her eyes would make anyone run away, but you stepped up.
“Clarisse,” you put your hands on her arms, “it’s fine, let go please. Chiron is waiting for us.”
She locked her eyes with you, clearly still upset about the situation, and pushed Michael away, but Lee was behind to hold him back. 
“Clarisse, what was that about?”
“It’s nothing,” she shrugged, “it’s fine. See you.” 
And she walked away, leaving you confused. You turned around, giving a questioning look at your brothers, but Lee only mouthed a ‘I don’t know’ and Michael avoided your gaze. You were ready to argue with them, but Will came running, telling you they were ready to leave.
The trip to the Empire State Building was long, especially with Clarisse ignoring you. You tried talking to Michael, but he was also ignoring you, and suddenly, everyone at camp lost their ability to talk. Annoyed, you went to the back of the bus, where no one was. But then Will came. 
“What’s wrong? You look like Clarisse all the time. Frowning and sulking.”
“I’m not!” you relaxed your face. “Also while we're talking about Clarisse, what’s that about how we’re not supposed to be friends?”
Will grimaced, and looked away for a second. 
“People have been wondering about how you, sweet and fun Apollo daughter, could be friends with ruthless Clarisse La Rue, Ares daughter. Because the Apollo cabin does not get along with the Ares cabin, like at all.”
“And Clarisse was upset? Over people’s opinions about us?”
“Well…” Will stretched that vowel for far too long. “You know people, and how they love to gossip. And somehow it went from enemy cabins to how there are better friends to have… than Clarisse. And how she’s not… worth it,” he hesitated. “And she only brings you trouble… things like that.”
You were too stunned to give any type of answers. 
“Clarisse doesn’t look like someone who cares about those kind of rumours and speculations, but insecurities are created by people’s opinion,” Will said, “that’s what Lee told me when people were talking about me and I started to feel bad.”
“What were people talking about?” you frowned. 
“I’m not as good as you all with my archery skills.”
“That’s not–, I mean it doesn’t matter.”
“I know, Lee and Cornelia and Michael and everyone at our cabin was there to tell me that.”
“Okay, and they’re right.”
“I’m saying… maybe Clarisse doesn't have that sort of support system. And maybe she is starting to feel like other people are right.”
“Oh.”
You looked at where Clarisse was sitting, in the middle, sitting next to her sister. It was a four seat table, and her three siblings were all laughing and shouting, but Clarisse wasn’t. She was staring out the window, her arms crossed. 
You saw her frown and turned her head in your direction, but when she saw you looking at her, she quickly turned her head to her siblings. 
“You should talk to her, and clear things up. Because Clarisse is nice. I like her.”
“Since when? You never talk.”
“Clarisse is nice to me, she always has been since we’ve met that one time,” he admitted. “I think she deserves good friends. Like us.”
“I think so too,” you agreed. 
When it was time to get off the bus, everyone rushed out, separating you from Clarisse even further. Well, the talk had to wait. 
The trip to the 600th floor took too long. Every cabin went one by one since it couldn’t hold the whole camp at once. The Ares cabin went before the Apollo cabin, but Clarisse stood straight and looked ahead. She had her back turned to you, even once inside the elevator, but at the last minute she turned around and locked eyes with you. 
“We’ll talk,” you mouthed clearly. 
There was no escaping you. When it was your turn, you stepped in last so you could leave first. It took forever to reach floor 600. And just as you expected, there was no sign of Clarisse. She stayed close to her brothers. 
Each cabin had to do a presentation in front of the gods, and it was the worst thing for them and for you all too. Every time they clapped at the end, you knew it wasn’t as a compliment but more as a cheers to being closer to the end. 
After that, there was a big feast. The gods watching you eat and burn your food for them – it was weird and you couldn’t keep your eyes off your father. His tanned skin, golden hair, and bright smile. 
“Blinding isn’t he,” Lee said. 
“Yeah, I should’ve brought my sunglasses. Do you ever talk?”
“Not much. They don’t come just to hang around their kids.”
“He kinda looks like a classmate I’d have if people at my school weren’t all dressed like they just left prison. He looks young.”
 “You’ll get used to it eventually,” Lee shrugged. 
After dinner, campers just hang around talking, and some of the gods would come and talk to their children. You looked around and spotted the Hermes cabin staying together, far away from the main event, and then you tried to look for Clarisse, but she was nowhere. You turned around and bumped into your father. You quickly stepped away.
“Sorry,” you mumbled. 
“It’s alright. How have you been? Have you been settling well with everything?” he smiled.
“Um… Yes.”
What more could you say? You weren’t going to start saying the truth to this god that happened to be your father. 
“How is your mother?”
“Great,” you nodded, smiling. “She’s been seeing someone you know, after,” you looked at your wrist and pretended there was a watch, “eighteen years of having no one.”
“y/n,” he sighed looking away, “that’s just how things work with us gods. She knew from the start who I was, I told her.”
“It’s fine. I was merely stating a fact.”
Please somebody end this conversation, you prayed. 
“Well, well, well,” someone slapped your dad’s shoulder.
“Ares,” your dad greeted him. “This is y/n, my daughter.”
“Ah, the girl my daughter has been seeing.”
Apollo whipped his head around, beaming at you. 
“You have a girlfriend?” he held you in his arms. “I’m so proud of you. Way to go, who and where is the lucky girl.”
You stared at him, and then at Ares, mouth wide open in shock.
“I– I don’t! It’s– It’s not!” you stuttered. “I don’t have a girlfriend. Clarisse is my friend, who is a girl indeed. So yeah girl,” you paused, “friend. I haven’t been seeing her, I’ve been seeing her as in, she lives at camp and so did I during the summer!”
“Oh,” he let go of you. “My bad. You could’ve been more clear,” he looked at Ares. “Well I have to go now,” he walked away. “See you soon, y/n.”
Ares didn’t follow your father. He stayed with you, staring at you. Clarisse looked at you the same way when you first arrived at camp. 
“I feel like I know you from somewhere,” you admitted. 
“Well, I am the war god. They had to have shown you my picture somewhere between those classes they have,” he nodded toward Chiron.
“No, it’s not that,” you frowned. 
Meanwhile, Clarisse was talking to Mark when she spotted Apollo leaving in a hurry, and she looked at where he came from. And her eyes spotted you immediately, and then she saw her father standing tall, towering over you. 
“Fuck,” she mumbled before leaving the conversation without any notice. 
She rushed to where you stood. There was no way she was going to let you alone with her father. 
“... on twitter!” you shouted, hiding a smile. “Clarisse, I was just telling your father about us knowing each other through twitter!”
“What?” she mumbled, pulling you closer to her. 
“I’m always starting fights with him on twitter, because he’s always talking shit and nonsense. He doesn’t know me though.”
“Wait–,” Ares interrupted. “Are you that fan account of that blonde singer?”
“Yes!” you laughed.
He snickered, then stopped and turned to Clarisse. 
“Clarisse.”
“Dad.”
Then he stared at you, before going back to Clarisse. 
“You can leave now,” he gave you a brief look. “I want to talk to Clarisse. Alone.”
Clarisse, who the whole time didn’t let go of your hand, squeezed it. Hard. Before letting go. But you didn’t move, slightly worried.
“I–,” you started, but Clarisse turned to you, face blank.
“I’ll find you after this, go.”
You nodded without arguing and left. You quickly spotted your siblings and joined them, listening to what they were saying. You’d glance at Clarisse’s direction, and all you could see was Clarisse nodding, looking at her feet. Ares was in his human form, but even like that he looked impressive. He was tall and broad, he had these eyes you didn’t want to look straight into from fear. He gave Clarisse a final, firm, pat on the shoulder before leaving her there. She stood there for a full minute before straightening her back and searched for you in the ocean of people. But before she could find you, you were already on your way to her. 
“Are you okay?” you immediately asked. 
“I’m fine.”
“What did he say to you?”
“He…” she hesitated. “It doesn’t matter.”
You stood there, torn between insisting and letting it go. If you insisted when she wasn’t ready to talk, then you’d be a pushy friend who doesn’t respect any boundaries. But if you didn’t, then maybe it’d seem like you didn’t care. 
“Okay,” you nodded slowly. “Well, if you don’t have anything more to say, I do.”
“y/n…” Clarisse sighed.
“No! You ignored me the whole day when I just came back for you. And then that thing that happened with Michael,” she rolled her eyes at the mention of his name, “what was that about?”
“It doesn’t—”
“Stop saying that! It does matter. It matters to me how you feel. About this and everything else.”
Clarisse stared at you. Her eyes pleading with you to let it go. 
“I just…” you sighed, defeated. “I don’t want this to ruin our friendship. And I don’t—” you groaned in frustration. “Will told me,” you admitted, “about what people have been saying and what Michael has been saying,” you found it hard to find your words. “I– I want you to know that’s not what I think. And I—.”
You should’ve been rehearsing this. You took a deep breath.
“They’re not right about this. And I don’t want you to think that they are. Because you, Clarisse La Rue, are the best friend anyone could ask for. And because of you, I’m better than ever. I’ve been a better fighter because of you, I’ve been a better friend because of you. You taught me how to stand up for myself, and I’ve just been happier since I’ve met you. So I don’t want you to listen to what people have to say.” 
Clarisse still hadn’t said anything, which was excruciating. Just as you were about to continue ranting about this, she pulled you in her arms. You wrapped your arms around her, and put your head on her shoulder. 
“Thank you,” she whispered, and let go. 
It didn’t last long enough, but you’ll take what she gave you. 
“Are we ok?” 
“We’re ok,” Clarisse nodded. 
The rest of the evening was spent with you sitting on some big rocks that served as chairs, catching up. She’d tell about all the times she won at Capture the Flag, she’d tell you about the indigestion everyone had due to food poisoning that one day, she’d tell you about that time she had to go to the infirmary and only let Will heal her because there was no way she’d let Michael help her. She’d tell you about every little thing you’d miss during those months when you went home, and you listened to everything she had to say, with your head resting on her shoulder.
“Oh gods,” you straightened your back, pointing ahead of you. “Is that your dad with Aphrodite?”
“Fuck,” she cringed. “Are they making out?”
“I mean– he definitely is. It’s weird,” you looked away, then went back to staring at them.
“Stop staring at my dad sucking the goddess of love’s face.”
“Are you sure he’s your dad though? Cause Aphrodite looks exactly like you.”
Clarisse whipped her head around, eyes wide, staring at you.
“What?” she breathed. 
“What, what?”
She paused, still staring at you. 
“Nothing,” she smiled, and then looked back, “they’re gone.”
“Finally. It’s gross to make out in front of your children like that.”
All the campers spent the night in Olympus, all sleeping in the same area. The room looked exactly like inside a normal cabin at camp, with bunk beds and cupboards, and for once, friends from different cabins were allowed to sleep together. You dragged Clarisse with you, where the Apollo cabin stayed. 
“We’re all used to staying together,” you explained, “but you can stay with me. Are you sleeping on the top bunk or bottom one?”
“Bottom one,” Clarisse sat on the bed. 
“Ooh,” Cornelia sat next to Clarisse,” so does y/n.” 
“It’s fine, it’s only for one night,” you waved it off. 
“Did you see Clarisse’s dad making out in the open with their mother,” Cornelia pointed at the Aphrodite children. 
“We did!” you squealed, squeezing yourself between the two of them.
“I think everyone did,” Clarisse added. 
“Did you notice how Aphrodite looked exactly like Clarisse,” you looked at Cornelia.
Her eyes widened, and shook her head slightly. Clarisse was leaning against the bed frame, her legs crossed on the bed, smirking. You frowned.
“What?” you mouthed. 
“We’ll come back”, Cornelia dragged you away. 
“What?”
“Do you know what it means to perceive Aphrodite, the goddess of love, beauty, passion and lust, as someone you know?” she asked. 
“As someone I know? What does that mean?”
“Aphrodite doesn’t look like Clarisse,” she explained, “you perceive the goddess as such because you think Clarisse is those things.”
“Oh,” you paused. “Is that common knowledge or?” 
You hoped not. 
“Yeah it is, so you probably shouldn’t say those things in front of Clarisse if you’re not…”
“If I’m not what?”
“Nevermind.”
“I already told her, twice now with what happened a few minutes ago. Oh gods, couldn’t you have taught me this earlier!” you panicked. “What–What does that mean though? Do I– Am I—,” you gave a quick glance at Clarisse. 
“I don’t know! I mean, you did ask her on a date like the first week you arrived at camp, what could that mean?”
“I don’t know? I think she’s pretty, and– and apparently I think she could look exactly like the goddess of love herself. It’s—,” you took a deep breath. 
“It’s fine, you don’t have to know.”
“I think,” you hesitated. “I don’t know!” you whined. “Clarisse is nice to me, she’s fun to be around, she’s pushing me upwards and I think I might– maybe– perhaps have a tiny crush on her, yes,” you admitted. 
“Aw,” she beamed, “I think you’d make such a cute couple.”
“Calm your tits down,” you playfully rolled your eyes, “I don’t know if this will ever go further than us being friends. Now look natural, and never tell anyone else this. Okay, let’s go back.”
Clarisse was talking to Will when you two came back, but they abruptly stopped. Will stood so Cornelia and you could sit. 
“What was that about?” Cornelia asked them.
“It’s a secret,” Will smiled. 
“We were talking about how sunshine over there thought I looked like a goddess,” Clarisse grinned. 
Will tried to hide his laugh.
“No one told me!” you hid your face in your hand from embarrassment. “You could’ve stopped me the first time I said it,” you accused Clarisse, who was still laughing. 
“The first?” Will interrupted. 
“Both times in front of Clarisse,” Cornelia added. “It was hard to watch,” she teased you. 
Time went by very fast when you’re surrounded by friends and family, because it was already time to go to sleep. The lights disappeared, and you climbed onto your bed, and whispered Clarisse a goodnight before closing your eyes.
The silence was deafening. You couldn’t fall asleep, you needed white noises, music, anything but this. You tossed around, left your right leg outside the blanket, but then it was too cold, so you put it back inside, and tossed around again. 
“What the hell y/n,” Clarisse whispered loudly.
“Sorry, I can’t fall asleep.”
“Why?” she sighed.
“It’s too quiet, and I’m cold.”
Clarisse let out a bigger sigh, before getting up.
“Where’re you going?” you sat up.
“Get down here, and bring your blanket.”
You did as she told you. You put the blanket on your shoulders and climbed down. 
“Get in the bed,” she pointed at hers. 
You did as she told you. And then she climbed back inside her bed, next to you, with both blankets on you.  The beds on Olympus were bigger than the ones at camp, so it was no problem to fit you two in one single bed. 
“Better?” 
“Yes,” you nodded.
Clarisse fell asleep very quickly, like always. As soon as she closed her eyes, she was gone. But it took more time with you, you were used to looking at your phone until your eyelids were too tired to stay open, but now you couldn’t. You had nothing, only Clarisse sleeping peacefully next to you. 
She slept on her back, with her head tilted toward you. Unlike her, you slept on your side, so you turned your back to her, and closed your eyes. And just as you were about to fall asleep, you felt Clarisse arms wrapping around you to bring you closer to her. And then, in an instant, you were gone. 
The happiness from staying at camp didn’t last long as it was already time to go home and say goodbye to everyone. Your holidays came to an end and so did your stay at camp, and just like last time, Clarisse was already waiting for you at the entrance. 
“So,” you started, ‘I guess we’ll see each other next summer?”
“Yea,” she nodded. “Next summer.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” you promised, “and I’ll keep sending you updates, though I don’t know if I’ll continue to be as regular as before. I do have my high school diploma to get, and I’ll have less time but I’ll do my best!”
“It’s okay, good luck on your exams. I know you’ll do great.”
“Thanks,” you smiled, but still didn’t leave. 
It was too soon, and it felt like you barely spent any time with Clarisse and your siblings. 
“Did you say goodbye to Will and the others?” Clarisse asked.
“Yea, before I left the cabin I did. It sucks that I have to, but–,” you hesitated, “maybe I won’t have to next year.”
“You wouldn’t?”
“I don’t know yet, but… it’s a possibility.”
“Oh,” she smiled, “okay.”
“Okay. Well… I have to go now.”
“Okay.”
You two stood there, without moving. But then you lunged forward and hugged her tightly. 
“I’ll miss you,” you whispered. 
And you let go, and left before she could give you her answer. 
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One recording per week became one every other week, and by December, it was only one per month. Clarisse didn’t send anything from December to February either, but then on a random day in March, you received a package from Hermes Express with Clarisse’s usual pictures from camp, without any notes explaining what happened those last few months. You didn’t mention it either, but you gave yourself a quick reminder to ask her when you’d be back at camp. 
“It’s almost time, are you ready?” your mom asked.
“Yep, a minute!”
Your exams were done, you didn’t have the results yet but that didn’t matter – your mom promised she’d send them to you once she’d receive them so you could leave for camp peacefully. You packed lightly – a third of your belongings were already at camp – and went inside the cab your mom had called for you.
“Be careful okay,” she kissed your temple. “And write to me about your decision, okay?”
“I will, I promise,” you gave her a last quick hug and closed the cab door.
The journey to camp felt familiar now, you’d done it a few times already so it was a stress free trip. So you kept your suitcase close to you, you turned your phone off, and walked. 
But something was off when you got closer to the entrance. It was loud. Louder than usual, and there were more people at the border everywhere as well, which were usually empty. You crossed the entrance, and most campers were wearing their gears, and weapons. 
“What the hell,” you whispered. 
You quickly noticed Clarisse, giving orders to campers, and walking around. When she turned around, she spotted you and ran to you, very quickly. 
“Why didn’t you tell me earlier when you were going to be here!” she shot. 
“I wanted to surprise you! Why are you yelling at me!” you shouted back. 
Clarisse stepped back and mouthed a quick apology.
“A lot of things happened while you were gone,” she explained.
“Like when you stopped sending me anything?”
She nodded reluctantly. 
“A new camper came in, got claimed by Poseidon, and then got his quest to retrieve Zeus’ stolen bolt, and…” she hesitated. “We know who stole it in the first place. Luke.”
“Luke?” your eyes widened. “As in Castellan, Hermes' head– former head counsellor?” 
She nodded again. 
“And now Thalia’s tree has been poisoned, meaning the camp’s borders are weakened and we have to keep them safe ourselves.”
“Okay,” you proceeded with this information as fast as you could. “Okay.”
“I was worried sick for the past few days! You didn’t send me anything like last time. I didn’t know when you were going to be here, or if you’d gotten attacked and died.” 
“I’m sorry! I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me this earlier!” you argued. 
“I–,” she hesitated, “I didn’t want to burden you with your studies.”
“They’re not important, this is obviously my priority and much more important.”
“Okay,” she looked around. “Stay beside me, I want to keep an eye on you whenever a battle is going to break out.”
You frowned.
“That’s cute, but I’d be much more useful if I stayed with the rest of the Apollo cabin where we’re needed. I’m a great fighter, I know,” you said before she could interrupt, “thanks to you, but I’m much better at archery.”
She stared at you, then looked down. 
“I can’t…” she whispered, “I can’t protect you if you’re this far away from me.”
“Clarisse,” you cupped her face. “I’ll be fine, I promise. You worry about staying alive, and I’ll do the same. It’s going to be fine. Remember, you taught me everything I know.”
She nodded reluctantly. 
“Okay.”
“Where’s your spear by the way?” you asked when she walked you to your cabin. 
She grimaced, and sighed.
“Gone.”
“Gone? Wha–.”
“Percy Jackson,” she spat. “The new kid, I’m sure you’ll meet him soon enough.”
You threw your stuff inside your cabin, and changed your clothes before walking out with Clarisse still outside, waiting for you. Clarisse was about to talk, but was interrupted by screams from campers at the entrance. 
You looked at each other and ran off to where the screams were, and saw it. Two immense bulls – colchis Bulls – coming straight towards campers. 
“Go find Lee, I’ll handle this from here. He’ll know what to do,” Clarisse ordered before walking away.
“Clarisse!” you shouted before she was out of range. She turned her head. “Be careful.”
She nodded. 
“Don’t die,” she added before leaving. 
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nataliesfirefly · 1 month
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You and I Walk a Fragile Line - Farleigh Start x F!Reader - Part 6
a/n: hey guys!! im so sorry this part has taken me so long! im currently on a trip so i havent had much time to write! but i hope this makes up for it, im super excited for yall to read this!!! also i think im going to plan for this series to have a few more chapters, probably max 9 or 10! i love it sm i really dont want it to end 😭 but anyways enjoyyy and comment what you think! and again i apologize if the smut is mid.. btw this is not proofread LMAO
series masterlist
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word count: 4.9k words
warnings: MDNI 18+, smut, fingering, oral (f!receiving), p in v, angst, language, smoking, afab reader
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You’re sitting in your bed, reading a magazine, when your flip phone rings. You lean forward to pick it up from the corner of the bed, wondering who could be calling you this late. You raise your eyebrows when you see that it’s Lola. You haven’t spoken to her since school got out. Nevertheless, you answer it and put the phone up to your ear.
“Lola! Hey,” You grin. “Oh my God, I’m so glad you picked up. I’m so bored around here,” She groans, and you smile even bigger at the sound of her voice on the other end. “Around where?” You ask curiously.
“My parents’. I have to babysit my younger sister all the time. It’s exhausting, really,” She moans. “I just want to like, go to a party or something. Honestly, I would even prefer to be going to classes right now instead of this.”
“Wow. That must mean it’s really bad then, huh?” You continue flipping through the magazine, your eyes scanning through the apparently trending fashion and makeup choices at the moment.
“Yes. Ugh. You’re at Saltburn, right?” She asks. “Yeah.” You reply.
“How’s that going?” Lola questions, and you hear another voice in the background that sounds like her, only higher-pitched. “No, I’m on the phone. Go away. Shoo,”
You try not to snicker at her shooing away her little sister. “It’s…” You trail off, trying to decide the right way to describe how the summer is going so far for you. “I don’t know. Different.”
“How so?” You pause and wonder if you should tell her what’s been going on. You decide it’s probably better not to and keep some things to yourself.
“I think it’s just cause we’re growing up. I mean, we graduate in less than two years.” You shrug and reach over to grab your glass of wine. “Oh God, don’t remind me. My parents are still asking me what my plans are,” She sighs loudly.
“I can’t believe it.” You shake your head and close the magazine, uninterested in the latest celebrity drama. An idea suddenly forms in your mind.
“Hey, the Cattons are throwing one of their big summer parties in a few days. I could invite you?” You suggest. You hear Lola gasp. “Really?! I’d love to go. I’ve heard so many stories about the Saltburn parties.” She makes it sound so dramatic, and you giggle.
“And you’d get a chance to see Felix,” You grin as you hear her jumping around. “Yeah, I would! You don’t need to convince me any further. I’ll be there,” She pauses. “Wait, but they’ll let me come, right?”
“Oh, of course. They like me a lot, so I’m sure they won’t mind.” You assure her. “Okay, perfect. Thank you so much, my love. I’ll let you get some sleep. See you soon!” She squeals excitedly and you roll your eyes with a smile as she hangs up.
You set down your phone and sigh, looking around your dim room.
You haven’t been able to get Farleigh out of your mind since your little… moment two nights ago. He’s not avoiding you, but he’s not being nice either. He’s gone back to teasing you and embarrassing you in front of the Cattons. You should’ve known that if you got too close, he’d pull away and return to his old ways.
But every little glance you two share has your stomach fluttering and your heart pounding. Every insult meant to hurt or offend you has the opposite effect. In some depraved way, you like when he degrades you. The past two nights, you’ve laid awake and stared up at the ceiling, trying to relive that night when he made you feel so good. Just the thought of him had your mind reeling. You would do anything just to feel that way again. You’re hooked.
You can’t just keep wallowing in these feelings. You want to talk to him, work things out, and go back to how they used to be a week ago. More importantly, you just want to be in his presence. It gives you some kind of thrill to be around him. It’s like a game of roulette to see which version of him you’ll get each time, and you love it. You crave his attention.
You climb off of your large bed and walk determinedly to your door, opening it quietly and sneaking down the hallway. It’s quite a long walk to Farleigh’s room, but you don’t care. You pass Felix’s room, then Venetia’s. Both of their lights are out, telling you that everyone in the house is probably asleep by now. You can only hope and pray that Farleigh isn’t.
You eventually find yourself standing in front of his room. Dim light peeks through from under his door, and you sigh with relief. He’s still awake. Your decision catches up to you and you realize how stupid it is that you’re about to knock on his door. You shake your head to clear your doubt, raising your hand and gently knocking.
You hear his bed shifting and footsteps following close after. You swallow nervously, your throat suddenly feeling dry. Your heart races with anticipation as he finally opens the door.
Fuck. He’s shirtless with only a pair of sweatpants on. Your eyes trail down subconsciously before you blink and look back up to his face. Is he wearing underwear?
“Hello,” He says, his grin foxlike. “I can’t sleep. Can we talk?” You ask, your voice shaky. You curse yourself for sounding nervous. He crosses his arms and raises his eyebrows. “Talk about what?” He questions.
You pause, unsure of what to say next. What were you going to talk about? He would deny any feelings towards you, so what was the point of even coming here?
“Just let me in, please.” You step forward and avoid his gaze. He steps to the side wordlessly, opening the door further to let you into his room.
You breathe in the familiar scent of that candle he’s always burning, and the scent of his cologne. It’s musky and spicy, with notes of vanilla. You tried to memorize it everytime you were close to him. You walk over to his bed and sit down on the edge, looking up at him as he closes the door behind him.
“Can I have a cigarette?” You ask, pointing to the pack sitting on his bedside table. He nods, and you carefully take one. He hands you the lighter.
He stares down at you as you light the cigarette, taking a drag from it. He chuckles to himself and you exhale, furrowing your eyebrows. “What’s funny?”
“You always said you hated the smell. Yet here you are, asking me for a cigarette,” He replies with a scoff. “Maybe you’re just a bad influence,” You shoot back, and his smile slightly fades.
You can see his eyes traveling down your body, lingering on your thighs and your bare legs. You had outgrown these sleep shorts, but you never cared because you figured no one would see you in them. Well, there goes that.
“Are we not going to talk about the other night?” You mutter. “What’s there to talk about?” He replies, and you roll your eyes. “Are you-” You pause and let out a frustrated breath. “Are you serious?” You exclaim angrily.
“You can’t blame it on being drunk this time, Farleigh.” You tell him, and he freezes, his gaze faltering downwards.
“Can we not talk about that? Let’s just…” He sighs with exasperation and sits next to you. You turn away from him, looking out the window. You decide not to press the issue, since it’s apparently too much for him to think about right now. Honestly, you aren’t even able to fully process what’s been going on between you two.
“Let’s just… talk,” He says finally, and you face him again, exhaling a small cloud of smoke. “Okay.” You shrug. It’s what you both do best: Talking. About anything and everything, despite the strange history of your relationship. You guessed that it was because you had known each other for so long, that it just came naturally. He’s just… real. He’s never pretending or putting on a façade, at least around you he’s not. Around the Cattons, he has to, because to them he’s just the wild child, the comedic relief, the American. You feel like you are the only one that gets to see the real Farleigh, and it feels like a privilege. But you know that’s not true, and you choose to believe it anyway.
“So… Our third year at Oxford,” Farleigh says. You let out a breath and raise your eyebrows. “Can’t believe it’s already been two years,” You both smile, thinking of all the good and bad memories you’ve made so far during your years at university.
“Can I be honest?” You ask, and he nods. “I’m scared.” You say simply. His eyebrows knit together. “Of what?” He replies. “Graduating. You know, I’ll probably go to graduate school or something, but I need to start making my own money. Get a job. Do adult things,” You sigh just at the thought of all the responsibilities. “I can’t be on a scholarship forever. Or have my parents pay forever,” You continue, shaking your head. “I’m putting them through enough as it is.”
Farleigh nods again with a look of understanding. “I might go back to the states. See my mom, maybe stay there for a while.” He says. You can’t help but feel a little sad at the thought of him being away for so long. You hate to admit it, but you would miss him.
“But we don’t have to worry about that right now. You’re too uptight. Let yourself have fun,” He nudges you softly. “I’m trying,” You mutter. “Well, you’re smoking. That’s one step closer,” He laughs a bit and you roll your eyes.
It goes quiet and you stare down into your lap. You can feel his eyes on you, and your heart begins to race with anticipation. That familiar tension returns in the air between you and Farleigh.
You look up slightly, his eyes meeting with yours. Your stomach churns as you look down to see his hand inching towards your thigh, eventually resting on top of it. “I know why you came here,” He says, his voice lowered.
You look back up to him. “What?” You whisper. “Don’t play dumb,” He shakes his head. “I’m not.” You reply, trying hard not to break the intense eye contact.
You gulp nervously and finally look away, your face giving you away and burning red. “Hmm,” He hums, his thumb brushing across your thigh. You try to distract yourself by pressing the cigarette out on the ashtray on his bedside table, watching the little flame burn out.
He gently reaches up and grabs your chin, tilting your head back towards him. He drags his thumb down your bottom lip as you stare into his eyes. He grins slightly before moving his hand to cup your cheek, leaning in closer until your noses brush together. You know you shouldn’t be doing this. You know Farleigh is emotionally unavailable and toxic, and he won’t ever discuss his feelings or yours. But you can’t help but melt into the kiss, his touch, his aura. It’s like he’s magnetic, pulling you in everytime you try to pull away.
Somehow, every single time he kisses you, it’s better than the first time. Your tongues intertwine as your lips move in a perfect rhythm while both of you fall back onto his bed clumsily. One of his hands tangles in your hair, and the one that was resting on your leg moves up to rest on your waist, his fingers caressing your bare skin due to your tank top riding up. He eventually shifts his position so that he’s on top of you, and you turn to lay on your back underneath him.
His kisses begin to move down to your jawline, then your neck. He sucks and licks your skin so cruelly, but you don’t want him to stop. You breathe in the scent of his hair, his curls tickling your face, and you can already feel yourself becoming weak again.
You feel his hands start to trail down your body, resting on your hips, as he moves down the bed and you peer down to see him looking up at you from between your legs. Feverish heat burns across your skin just at the sight of it.
“Wait, wait. I’ve never-“ You start, suddenly feeling nervous. “It’s okay,” Farleigh replies, his eyes soft and warm as he gazes up at you. “Just relax,” He murmurs, gently pulling down your shorts and panties at the same time, shuffling them off your legs.
Just relax, you think. Easier said than done. You’ve pictured this moment so many times in the past few days, and you can’t believe it’s becoming reality.
And of all the times you’ve fantasized about this, none of them could ever do Farleigh’s beauty justice. His dark eyes are shining with something of lust and hunger, his plush lips slightly parted and his shoulders broad and golden. His curly hair is only slightly wet from his shower earlier, yet still perfectly coiled.
He looks up at you, trying to convey something through his gaze. “So pretty,” He mutters, tracing a finger along your thigh. Your breath catches in your throat and you feel your stomach fluttering already.
He lifts your legs up and places them over his shoulders. Your heart pounds in anticipation and you can hear yourself breathing among the silence.
Farleigh leans down and presses a few kisses along your inner thigh, and you don’t know how much longer you can stand his teasing. You watch him gaze up at you through his lashes as he dips a finger into your wetness and you see the smirk that tugs at his lips. He raises his eyebrows at you and your face turns red. “Stop,” You cover your face with both hands, your stomach doing flips. You can’t handle how perfect he looks right now, even as he teases you for how soaked you are already.
“Hey, look at me,” He says, his deep voice vibrating against your skin. You let your hands fall back to your sides, smiling shyly. His expression turns more serious as he furrows his brows, slipping his finger inside of you. He moans before you even can, his head falling against your thigh.
That familiar stretch around his finger has your mind reeling as you throw your head back. He pulls it out and you whimper at the loss, until you feel his middle and ring finger on your clit. Your hands instinctively move to grasp the sheets as he strokes your bundle of nerves perfectly, letting your head fall back down to watch him. He continues to maintain eye contact and it makes you so weak.
Your brain almost turns to mush as you see him leaning down, his head buried between your legs. A moan louder than you intended leaves your mouth as you feel his tongue greedily licking a stripe up your pussy.
“Shit,” You huff, your chest heaving up and down. No one had ever given you head before, until now, so you didn’t really understand your girlfriends when they would tell you how amazing it felt. But now, you completely get it. His tongue moves in long, slow strokes and his pretty nose nudges perfectly against your clit.
He barely lifts his head so he can stare up at you to watch your reaction. You grind up against his face, your hand reaching down to grab a handful of his curls. He groans at the feeling before inserting a finger again, moving at the perfect pace along with his tongue. The combination is enough to make your legs shake. The lewd sounds of him lapping up your cum and both of your wanton moans echo throughout his room.
“Farleigh!” You almost scream his name before letting out a long, drawn out moan. He glances up at you once more, his pupils huge with lust. He moans against you as he absolutely devours you, adding a second finger in. His long fingers brush against that divine spot inside of you and you whimper helplessly, your other hand gripping his sheets as if it could help ground you somehow. That delicious heat builds in the base of your stomach, spreading like a fire.
“I’m gonna-“ You gasp for air, your chest heaving up and down. His eyes are half-lidded and he seems completely lost in the moment, just absolutely pussy drunk. “Let go,” He says, his voice deep and raspy.
And you do exactly that. The pleasure shoots through your veins like a drug, your grasp in his hair tightening and your hips rolling as you ride it out. You eventually come down from your high, letting your legs drop from his shoulders as you let out a shaky sigh, your heart still pounding against your ribs.
“Fuckk,” You breathe out, resting your head against the pillow. Farleigh crawls over you, leaning down to kiss you. The lower half of his face is covered in your slick, but you couldn’t care less. He kisses you passionately, desperately, groaning into your mouth. You can taste yourself on his lips and his tongue, and it just turns you on even more.
He pulls away, his lips hovering over yours. You look up at him and suddenly feel an indescribable desire wash over you as you stare into his deep brown eyes. It’s like you can’t get close enough to him, like you need more than everything he’s already given you. You want him inside of you. You want to feel every part of him. You want him to feel every part of you.
“Farleigh,” You whisper, reaching up to touch his face. “What is it?” He whispers back, lightly touching your own face.
“I want you,” You say. You don’t care how stupid you sound right now. This carnal desire has completely taken over you.
“In what way?” He replies, smirking smugly. “I think you know which way I mean,” You mutter. You don’t have time for his teasing, although you love it.
His expression softens and he seems to understand what you mean. “Please, I need you,” You can’t believe you’re begging for Farleigh of all people right now. You know you’ll be regretting it later. His eyes widen and he seems shocked by your confession.
“Far…” You whisper, tracing your finger along his lips. He opens his mouth to speak, hesitating slightly.
“Do you know what you do to me?” He asks, his voice soft. You look up at him and tilt your head. He takes your hand and guides it down below his waist while still looking down at you. You gasp softly when you feel that his dick is so hard underneath his sweatpants. It has to be painful. You slowly rub your hand against him and his eyebrows draw together as he stutters slightly, and it almost looks like he’s in pain.
“Baby-“ Farleigh whimpers. “Please,” You beg once again, and he nods, quickly taking his pants off and throwing them somewhere on the floor of his bedroom. You look down at his dick, and you have to keep your jaw from dropping.
It’s definitely the biggest you’ve seen, and although you haven’t seen many in your lifetime, you know he would be considered above average. It’s long, with a bit of girth to it, veiny and already leaking precum from the tip. You feel yourself starting to get nervous. You aren’t sure if you could even take all of it, but hell, you’re going to try. You hope he didn’t pick up on your reaction, because you know he would tease you over it.
He places his hands on either side of your head and leans down onto his elbows. He never takes his eyes off yours as he positions himself. You wrap your legs around his waist, letting your ankles rest on his back.
He slowly begins to slide in, and you grunt quietly at the pain. He goes a bit deeper before you panic and place a hand on his lower stomach, stopping him. “I can’t-“ You wince in pain.
“Yes, you can. You can take it,” He nods and brushes the side of your face with his fingers. He takes your hand off of his stomach gently and places your arm back onto the bed. You nod in an attempt to encourage yourself, gritting your teeth to withstand the pain. You reach up to his shoulders, resting your hands on his shoulder blades, trying to keep your nails from digging into his skin as you hold onto him.
“Fuck,” Farleigh grunts as your walls grip him tightly, sucking him in. Eventually he’s buried inside of you to the hilt, and you can feel every inch of him. You’re still trying to adjust to his size, and the pain is slowly subsiding as he groans and drops his head and closes his eyes. You press your hips up against his, trying to get him to start moving. “Far,” You mutter. You can tell he’s trying to hold back. He breathes heavily and opens his eyes again, gazing into yours.
“I’m ready,” You whisper. His eyebrows knit together as he rolls his hips slowly, causing your eyes to roll back and drawing a short moan out of you. He shudders, slightly pulling out of you before thrusting back in. You wonder how he’s so good at this as your nails dig crescent moons into his back with each slow thrust and roll of his hips. Your mouth falls open and you try to be quieter but it’s no use.
He buries his head into the crook of your neck, his curls tickling your face. He’s whimpering and moaning your name and other incoherent nonsense right into your ear. He sets a beautiful rhythm, his bed creaking underneath you as you sink into the plush of the mattress. You think you hear the headboard hitting the wall but you don’t care about the loud sounds you two are creating. You just don’t want this moment to end.
He looks back up to you and you can see he’s already fucked out. His eyes are even more glazed over than before and sex sweat forms on his brow. He whimpers helplessly and pants heavily. “You’re so good,” He breathes. “So, so good,” You could probably cum just from his words alone.
You let out a wanton moan as he hits that spot again, deep inside of you. “Oh, fuck!” You gasp and claw at his shoulders. He drops his head again, kissing your neck as he thrusts into you faster and deeper each time, hitting your spot over and over once he’s found it.
“Yeah, that’s it,” He groans against your neck and you feel tears brimming in your eyes. “Farleigh- It’s-“ You can’t seem to form words, your brain turned to sizzling hot liquid. “I know, I know,” He whimpers, his voice slightly higher pitched and breathless. You try to hold on longer, but you’re already coming undone as your orgasm hits you sooner than you expected. Your body stills and you clench even harder around him. He moans, that pained expression crossing his face once again. “Oh God,” He chokes out, his thrusts beginning to become less steady.
“Where should I-“ Farleigh pants. “Inside,” You tell him. You’re on birth control, but you don’t have the mental capacity to explain that to him or explain why. His hips stutter and he stiffens, finishing inside of you, the warm feeling spreading throughout your lower stomach. He collapses on top of you, his head on your chest, resting on the soft fabric of your shirt.
You’re already sleepy and physically exhausted from what just took place. You breathe in his scent one more time and let out a sigh, staring up at the ceiling and trying to process what you just did. Then he’s wrapping his arms around you gently before pulling out of you slowly. You grunt a bit, feeling a dull ache between your legs, but you can’t help but miss the feeling of him inside of you.
He adjusts the both of you so that you’re both laying on your side, allowing you to stretch out a bit and cuddle up to him, tucking your head in the crook of his neck. He holds you, and for a moment, it feels like a real relationship. Something you had never experienced. Something deep. Something real. And then you remember that it’s not. After this, he will go back to avoiding you and acting like he can’t stand you. You just wish that he would put his pride away and admit to you what he really feels. But what does he really feel? Are you stupid for thinking that there’s something here?
Farleigh strokes his fingers through your hair, brushing away some of the strands plastered onto your forehead by your sweat. He seems to notice your silence.
“You’re thinking too much,” He says, his voice beautifully hoarse. You sigh, relaxing your shoulders. “Am I?” You reply, your voice weaker than you thought it would be.
“Just sleep here tonight,” He mutters, resting his chin on top of your head. You so badly want to ask him to be serious and have an actual conversation with you about your… relationship.
“Okay… but we need to talk about this,” You respond quietly. He sighs and shifts a bit, careful not to move you too much. “We can in the morning,” He says, but you know that won’t happen. You’ll just have to settle for no answers to your questions for the time being.
You curl up closer to him and let your eyes close, breathing slowly and peacefully. “Goodnight,” You murmur. “Night,” He replies, sounding just as tired as you are. You drift off to sleep in Farleigh Start’s arms.
ONE YEAR EARLIER
You were usually on okay terms with Farleigh. But you remember exactly when the dislike turned into hatred.
It was right before end of term exams and Felix convinced you to go to the pub to blow off some steam and relax after all your revising. You reluctantly agreed, then regret your decision when you saw Farleigh and Sasha there.
It was pretty far into the evening and you were beginning to get sleepy. You had spaced out for a moment, staring out the window and watching the snow fall before you heard something that peaked your interest.
“I mean, Felix, you have got to settle down,” Farleigh chuckled and nudged Sasha, pointing his cigarette at Felix.
Felix grinned stupidly and shrugged. “Listen, mate. I’ve tried.” Some other friends of his joined in with the laughter.
You sat up and leaned forward, facing Farleigh. “You’re one to comment on relationships,” You said, raising an eyebrow. Everyone else sort of quieted down after hearing your words.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Farleigh rolled his eyes at you and Sasha just glared. “You and Sasha. You’re dysfunctional.” You responded, unafraid to challenge him.
“Excuse me?” Sasha looked at you like you just committed a hate crime. “Yeah. He cheats on you, you cheat on him, you get back together, blah blah blah.” You took a sip of your beer and shrugged. “It’s gone on for almost a year now. It’s exhausting,”
Farleigh chuckled. “Ohh, you want to come after my relationship?” He smirked as if he was cooking up a plan in his mind of how to humiliate you best.
“Well, I bet you would like everyone to know that you lost your virginity to Joshua Brown,” Farleigh said, loud enough for even people from other tables to hear. A small chorus of gasps echoed across the room.
“You’re desperate, easy, and sloppy. You take anyone who wants you. I guess that’s what happens when you get no attention before you go to college, hm?” He just kept going, and the whole room went silent
“I’ve seen you walk out of so many dorms at six in the morning, it’s insane. You can’t even keep a fucking man,” Farleigh’s tone was harsher and colder than you’d ever heard before. Felix was staring at you in shock and Sasha was giving you that judgemental look.
You looked around to see all the pairs of eyes on you. “Fucking hell, Farleigh,” Felix muttered, shaking his head at him.
You stood up and grabbed your bag hastily, storming out of the pub with tears in your eyes. Why was he such a bitch? Why did he hate you?
Your reputation was officially ruined. All that time, he never told anyone about your situation with Joshua. Until now. He was doing so well. The whole class thought you were an innocent and pure, high achieving student, and now what would they think? You wish you didn’t care so much about how others perceive you, but you do.
You hated Farleigh. You hated him for ruining your reputation and your image. It was impossible to get him back or do something worse, since basically everyone knew he was a slut. But he got praised for it.
Ever since that night at the pub, other students would look at you sideways and whisper things about you as if you couldn’t hear them.
Fuck you, Farleigh. You decided you were officially done with him and your weird friendship. Even if that meant having to avoid him at every cost.
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doitforbangchan · 3 months
Note
Honeyy, requests still open? Can i ask for jealous reader believe a fake rumor about hyunjin romantically going out with another idol who is about to work with, so reader becames the last romantic and appears on his door late at night, to fight for his love since he's her man who isn't her man, but still is her man ❤ (pls, let the girl win his heart and the D too 🤧)
Requests are indeed open bestie!!
I hope you like this and it's what you were looking for!!
Never want to wake up - Hyunjin
Pairing : Hyunjin x reader (afab!)
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Warnings: Fem! reader, Smut, unprotected sex, cursing, angst, pet names, slut used negatively, friends to lovers. Not proof read :)
WC: 2.4k
MDNI 18+
Your body was frozen, the news headline staring right back at you from your phone. 
‘STRAYKIDS’ HYUNJIN RUMORED TO BE DATING ITZY'S YEJI’
This can’t really be true, can it? Hyunjin was your best friend, and had been for years before he was ever an idol. Surely he would have told you about this? 
Then again, he has been reeaaallllyy busy lately. Too busy to even answer your calls. That would certainly explain why he’s suddenly dropped off the face of the earth from you. 
It all made sense now. Still re-reading the article you could not stop the tears that fell from your eyes. Truth is, you’ve been in love with him for years. He is the only guy you’ve ever really loved. None of the other guys could even hold a candle to him. That's also the reason none of those relationships ever worked out, they weren’t him. They never treated you as well, never were there for you when you cried, never took care of you like he had. 
It’s not like you could really blame Hyunjin for going for a girl like Yeji. She was incredibly gorgeous. And you were…. Just you. As you always had been 
“Fuck this.” You hissed clutching your phone, closing the article. You couldn’t just sit here in your pity, missing him like you had been for weeks. Time to take your mind off it. Maybe by being under someone else. 
Your back met the wall of the grimy club, the guy in front of you attacking your neck with sloppy kisses, his hands roaming your ass. He was cute enough. Not Hyunjin cute but really no man will ever be. It’s that thought that keeps you hesitant to reciprocate, even though it was you who flirted with him first and initiated this interaction. The man, San, had his hands wandering under the hem of your short dress, clutching your rear and forcing himself into you. 
This was quickly becoming too much; the hands on you, his mouth on your body, the smell of this guy. He wasn’t Hyunjin. 
You put your hands on his chest, trying to lightly push him away from you.
“San, stop” You mumbled, now becoming more forceful when he doesn't move from you.
“Hmm?” His mouth was still on your neck. 
“I-I’m sorry but I..I can’t do this.” You manage to get out. He pulls back from you to peer over you, disgust now filling his eyes. 
He scoffs, “Oh I see what your little game is. You’re a fucking tease. Acting like a slut then running away at the last second. Well not with me.” He turns and walks back to the bar not sparing you another glance. 
Feeling your shoulders drop at his words to you, the reality of what you had done was setting in. 
‘What the fuck is wrong with me? When did I become this person?’ The answer was clear. 
Hyunjin was what was wrong. 
Your mind was running a million miles an hour, and before you could stop yourself you collected yourself and ran out the exit. You had to see him. Had to speak with him. 
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Hyunjin woke with a start, the pounding at his front door seeming to never end. He blearily looked at the time on his alarm clock. Who is trying to come over at 1 am? 
Heaving himself out of bed and to the front door, he was ready to chew out whoever was disturbing his sleep, until he opened the door and saw you standing there. In the skimpiest dress he had ever seen you wear, makeup messed up and arms wrapped around your body. 
“Y/n?” He asked, confused.
“Uh hey Hyun.” You could see he was clearly fast asleep when you disturbed him. “I really didn't mean to wake you. I’m sorry I’m just being stupid, I’ll go. Sorry again.” You turned to leave, humiliated now, when he reached for you by your arm to stop you. 
“No, what's wrong? Are you ok? Did you just come from the club?” He really had no idea what was going on. All he knew is that you looked like you needed help. He would always help you. 
Your shoulders were shaking, the nerves coming back at you full force now that you were here in front of him. You took a deep breath before beginning, “I just…. I was out at that shitty club downtown, and there was this guy…” 
Hyunjin held his breath waiting for your next words. Did he hurt you? Take advantage of you? Hyunjin would kill anyone who would do that to you. 
“A-and the thing is.. He wasn’t you, Hyunjin. I tried so hard to forget about you and Yeji but your face was all I could see when he was kissing me.”
He tried to interrupt you “Y/n I-” 
“No! Let me finish! It’s taking all I have to even get this far so please let me finish.” He nodded at you to continue. 
“I know I could never hold a candle to her. Yeji is beautiful. And talented. And everything a man could want. You guys really do make a handsome couple. But that doesn’t mean it’s not killing me inside, to see you together. The truth is. I’m in love with you Hyunjin. I have been for literal years. For me it’s always been you. I know you don’t feel the same I just had to tell yo-” 
Hyunjin cut you off, crashing his lips into yours and cradling the back of your head. Before you could even register what happened, he pulled back from you, his breath fanning over your lips. 
“I love you too, Y/n.” And he brought you in for another kiss. This time you reciprocated it. He could taste no alcohol in your mouth so knew you were sober.
This definitely wasn’t how you saw this interaction going. You thought for sure he’d tell you to leave, to never come near him or his girlfriend again. Oh shit, Yeji! 
Finding his chest with your hands you shoved him off slightly. “Hyunjin, you can't. What about Yeji? I’m not a homewrecker!” 
He laughed at your statement. “You’re right, in order for you to be a homewrecker there has to be one for you to wreck. There’s nothing going on between Yeji and I.” 
Huh? “But I saw the article, the picture of you both together. I thought…” 
He placed a sweet kiss on your forehead. “We’re working on a performance together. We are dance partners, that's all, sweet girl.” 
Dance partners. That’s all. You felt so stupid. You brought your hands to your face, trying to cover your humility. He grabbed your hands, prying them from you, “Hey look at me. It’s okay I promise. I know I’ve kinda been unreachable lately. I have so much to prepare for, I really haven't had any time on my phone. I should have reached out though to at least let you know what was going on. I am so sorry for keeping you in the dark. I never meant to do that to you.” He held your face with both of his hands, looking into your eyes. 
“You have no idea how much I’m in love with you.” That was all you needed. Launching yourself at him, mouths colliding. The kiss was everything you ever wanted. You could practically feel his love in that kiss. 
“Come on,” He mumbled to you, “let's get inside before my neighbors see what I’m about to do to you.” He hauled you into his home, mouth hands never leaving you. 
You felt a tingle at his words, and let out a little moan. The noise certainly didn't go unnoticed by Hyunjin, “Unless you want them to see you a mess for me? I always knew you were dirty.” He teased you.
Shaking your head no, “Uh uh. Want you to take me to your bed.” 
He closed the door behind you and led you into his room. 
“There's my little romantic. You really are perfect for me.” You melted at his words. 
Hyunjin flicked on the low lights in his bedroom, there was no way he would let your first time together be in the dark. He wanted to see all of you. 
He pressed your mouths together again, standing at the end of his bed. He let his hands fall to your waist, then to your exposed thighs, rubbing small comforting circles. 
“If you don’t want this, you have to tell me now. I don’t think I could let you go once I have you.” He whispered, giving you breathing room. 
You circled your arms around his shoulders, mouth finding his ear. “I want this more than you know. Want you so bad, Jinnie.” 
He groaned at your words, moving to slowly remove the dress from your body. He wanted to savor every moment. 
You let him pull the garment over your head and throw it to the side. You saw the exact moment he realized you weren't wearing a bra, this particular dress not needing one. His eyes widened, giving you a cheeky smirk as he pushed you onto his bed back first. He crawled over you slowly, mouth trailing kisses up your body until his mouth rejoined yours. Hyunjin let his hands find the soft skin of your breasts, fingers circling and pulling at your nipples, causing your hips to buck and grind on his growing erection. 
“Jinnie” He seriously could listen to your whines all day, “ Please Jinnie. Need you.” 
You reached your hands down to the waistband of his pj pants, sticking one inside the garment to grasp him. He let out a gasp at the contact, giving you a slight grind into your hand. His dick was so soft. 
One of his own hands traveled down your body, finding your panties and tugging them off your body, letting his fingers find your clit. When he made contact with you you arched further into him, whimpers falling freely. 
He cooed at you, “So wet sweet girl. Who made you this wet, huh?” Continuing to give you light fluttering touches, sweeping his fingers up and down your pussy. 
“You. You Jinnie always you.” Your words made his eyes roll back into this head. Your hand stroked over him, the movement from your grasp remaining consistent. You felt one of his long fingers run over your opening, before he inserted it into you, drawing a long moan form your mouth. 
“Fuck, so tight around my finger, Baby. I wonder what you’ll feel like around my cock.” He gave you shallow thrusts with his pointer finger, adding his middle finger to join the one that was stuffed in you. Your hips were bucking, the grip on his dick tightened and he hissed. “Easy sweet girl, you gotta be gentle with it.” 
“M’ sorry Jinnie. Just need you so bad. Need you to fuck me.” You looked up at him with glassy doe eyes. Fuck me eyes. 
“Ok baby. Ok.” He removed his fingers from your hole, and brought the fingers up to his mouth giving them a lick. Your taste alone could have had him busting in his pants. “But I wont fuck you. Not tonight. Tonight I am going to make love to you.” 
You wanted to cry at his words. You removed your hand from his member, and helped him push the fabric down his thighs revealing his cock in all its glory. And it was glorious indeed. Long and pale, head red and leaking ready to take you. He reached over to his bedside table to pull out a condom but you stopped him. “I have an IUD and I'm clean. Just wanna feel you raw.” 
Fuck you were perfect. 
Hyunjin positioned himself above your entrance, giving himself a light squeeze before he lowered his tip into you, breaching your walls. 
The sound you let out was straight pornographic. Never in your entire life had you ever been filled so deliciously. Hyunhin was feeling the same way, your body taking him completely in one thrust. 
“Oh fuck, baby. Your pussy was made to take me.” He let in a grunt of pleasure. 
You nodded dumbly, “Uh huh. Please move, Jinnie. Please pleaaassseee” Arms once again around his shoulders. 
He mouths at the skin on your neck and gives you another thrust. You were impatient though and brought your hips up to meet his, craving the friction. 
Sensing your impatience, he throws one of your legs over his hips and begins to drive into you. 
If he thought you were loud before he had no idea. He was sure he would have an angry note on his door by the morning. It was all worth it, though, to see your pleasure. To be the one to give you that pleasure. 
He could hear the sound of your wetness with each thrust, giving him another sign you were enjoying it. 
Your nails were running down his back, leaving red marks in their wake but neither of you cared. The feeling of him was too good. You knew you weren't going to last long. You had wanted this for literal years. 
“Jin. I'm gonna cum.” You warned him. His fingers returned to your clit and rubbed tight, quick circles over it, trying to help you get there. 
“Cum for me, my love.” That sent you over the edge, a sob leaving your mouth at his words. He held you close to him as your body shook with your orgasm, whispering about how much he loved you and how lucky he was that you were his now. His thrusts didn't slow even as he himself reached his high, filling you to the brim with his sticky essence. His moans of pleasure almost made you cum again, it was the sweetest sound you had ever heard. 
Only when he heard your soft whimpers of overstimulation did he stop, giving you a sloppy kiss before pulling out. He watched his cum leak out of you, feeling another wave of ecstasy course through him at the sight. 
He curled you into him as he laid next to you, rubbing up and down your stomach sensually. 
“I really love you y/n. I’m so happy you feel the same way.” He dropped a kiss to your head. 
“I love you Hyun. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. This feels like a dream.” Your voice was raspy from your previous moaning. 
Hyunjin chuckled at your words. 
“If this is a dream then I never want to wake up.” 
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kainyte · 7 months
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you're all i have left ⎯ ft. childe angst bcs idk what else to do w/ my life pt. O1 : pt. O2
the fatui harbingers lead dangerous lives, including childe. with his newborn son, it's getting harder and harder to keep everyone safe. and as much as it pains him he might just have to leave.
notes : 1245 words of pure angst :DD
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Ajax sighs, gently setting down the sleeping baby in the crib. His son. He has the same hair color as you, but he shares Ajax’s eyes. As the baby finally begins to settle, Ajax takes a step back.
The door is ajar, light from the hallway seeping in. You're asleep on your guys’ shared bed, arms curled against you chest.
Ajax misses when they were wrapped around him.
“I…” Ajax’s voice cracks, “I’m sorry,” he whispers to his son. Ajax knows the baby can’t understand, but he doesn’t care.
You’re a weak spot for him. Someone can easily exploit you to get to him. Or worse, someone could hurt you. Ajax can’t let that happen.
He kisses the baby on the head. Come morning, Ajax will be gone.
He’s about to leave the room quietly when he sees you stir in your sleep. You let out a soft sigh before settling back into sleep again.
Ajax is suddenly overwhelmed. He can’t just do this, he can’t just leave you here. He grabs the blanket from beside the crib and gently places it over your shoulders. He wants to wake you but he also wants what little rest you can get.
Ajax wants to stay.
But he can’t.
You slowly crack my eyes open, “Ajax? Why’re you up so late?” you move to the side of the bed, “Come back to bed.”
Archons. How can he do this. Tears well in the corner of his eyes, and he’s never been so thankful that darkness of the room hides them.
Ajax walks back to the bed. There’s something different about him.
Your eyes grow wide when you make a connection. He looks like he just woke up himself.
“I…” he pauses. He can’t tell you the truth. But he doesn’t want to lie to you. His eyes dart around the room as he struggles to come up with an excuse. “I saw that you were cold,” he lies.
You know. You’ve read him well enough. You know he’s lying but you know the truth would hurt more than the lie.
“You we’re going to leave?”
“Darling…” Ajax sighs, wrapping his arms around you and burying his face into the crook of your neck. He’s holding you so close.
You’re everything he has, and the way he feels the tears that stream down your face and fall onto his shoulder makes Ajax’s resolve waver.
He doesn’t want to leave you.
He wants to stay.
But he can’t. He’s told himself that a million times tonight, his mind running endless scenarios of what can happen if his enemies ever find out about you. He loves you too much to stay.
Your grip on his shirt tightens, and you bury your face deeper into the crook in his neck. “Please…” Archons, you can barely see through your tears, “Please don’t leave. You’re all I have left.”
Ajax swallows hard. He hates the lies. He hates having to do this. His love for you is the biggest reason to stay.
Yet…
He has to.
Ajax looks you in the eyes.
Can you tell that something is wrong? Or do you believe the lie? Ajax is holding back tears as hard as he can. The words feel like rocks in his mouth. He hates himself for doing this but it has to be done, for both your safety and the sleeping child’s.
“Shhh,” he whispers in your ear, “go back to sleep.”
Your voice is wavering with every word you speak, “Not without you, please don’t to this to me, I cant…” Your voice trails off.
I can’t do this without you.
Ajax’s hands are shaking. He’s tries to hold back his tears but some have slipped free. He brushes cups his hands against your face.
You’re crying because of him, and it breaks his heart.
“Darling…” he replies softly, “listen to me. There are enemies trying to hurt me. They’re looking for me, not you. If I go then you can be safe our son can be safe.”
Ajax kisses the top of your head, “I love you. I always will but you’re not safe with me.”
“But it doesn’t matter! We can get through it… Ajax i can’t do this without you.” Your tears are freely streaming down my cheeks. Your voice breaks and you stare up at Ajax with a blurry vision.
You break Ajax. How you whisper to him, how desperate you look for him to just stay.
Your words do what Ajax’s resolve couldn’t. Ajax hugs you tightly, refusing to let go. He doesn’t want to do this, he doesn’t want to leave you.
But the world is a cruel place, and Ajax knows how much a burden he could be to you and your guys’ son.
The two of you are his everything.
Yet his words still taste like poison in his mouth.
Ajax kisses you. Slowly, gently, tasting every inch of your lips. His lips taste like salt from his tears, and the kiss holds no desire or lust.
Instead, his kisses are soft, sweet, and desperate.
He doesn’t want to go.
He refuses to.
But his kisses tell you that as much as his words refuse to, he might have to.
He knows the pain he’s about to cause, but he can’t bear causing more. So even if it physically hurts him to leave, he has to.
“I love you,” Ajax whispers. “I love you more than anything. I never want to leave you.”
“But, I have to.”
Ajax walks to the crib. He picks up the now crying baby and rocks him gently. He wipes away the baby’s tears as he continues speaking to the baby.
“Darling, listen to me, listen to me. You’re going to be okay, okay? I love you very very much, very very much and that will never change. Daddy will always love you, okay?”
He speaks through tears to his baby son. His words are strained but the emotion he feels is raw and honest.
Ajax looks back at you, wanting more than anything to kiss you one last time but knowing he would never be able to leave if he did.
With a final kiss on his son’s cheek, Ajax sets his baby down in the crib. He looks at you once more. There is a pleading in your eyes. In your eyes, he can see how much this is hurting you.
“I’m sorry.” He whispers.
He’s about to leave.
Ajax looks at you one last time. He swallows hard, taking in every last detail of you. Your eyes. The shape of your lips. Your hair. In the darkness of night, he can see the stains of tears against your cheeks.
He knows he won’t see you again for a very long time, and his heart is breaking. The pain of letting go and the pain of holding on are tearing him apart. But he has to go.
Ajax backs towards the door.
And right before he opens it, he turns.
“Goodbye, darling. I love you.”
Ajax’s voice is thick as if he’s trying to fight off tears once more. He won’t win this fight. He can never win this fight, not against you. Not against your eyes, your lips, your love for him and him for you.
He leaves, shutting the door after him. It isn’t long before you hear the sound of footsteps on grass and then silence.
He’s gone. And you’re on your own.
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