#also i can't help but wonder if it was my before/after post which prompted this ask...

[queers-gambit]

Opening Night and Open Hearts

prompt: opening night - a mother's fear, a locked walk-in freezer, confessions through a thick metal door, questioning what's deserved, and a proposal at The Bear after hours.

pairing: Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto x female!reader

fandom masterlist: FX's The Bear

word count: 9.8k+

note: i think i give enough background for you guys to feel as if you don't need to read any other relating works, but i linked the fics that could be read as a small series (maybe?) also let author be lonely in peace

warnings: reader nicknamed Peach, established relationship, cursing, spoilers, fluff, angst, relationship angst, hurt and comfort, Carmy still (desperately) needs a nap, depiction of physical illness, boys are dumb and emotions are hard, reader-insert, depiction of toxic family, OC Carmy that grovels a lot, not edited!

⚠️ season two, episode ten spoilers

not necessary to read, but other relating works with Peach:

Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant

God's Plan part two: Two to Tango

Neon Sticky Notes

"Hi, yes, I can hear you - sorry about that, I was just making note of your reservation," you spoke smoothly into the phone, trying not to ogle your boyfriend wrapped in only a clean blue towel. "So, that's a party of four for Monsieur Claude Badeaux - all right, that's so lovely. I'm obligated to remind everyone that tonight's opening is a fine dining experience and the proper, corresponding dress code is being asked for. Are there any allergies I should make note of for your party?"

"Jean Paul has a tree nut allergy," you were told.

"All right, that's noted and highlighted: Jean Paul has a tree nut allergy. If there's anything else I could help you with?"

"Non," he chuckled. "I was surprised to see your invitation to this evening, though, mon cher. It's been so long, yes?"

"Well, it was my pleasure to extend the offer, we're ecstatic by your reservation," you chuckled. "We'll see you tonight, Monsieur, and should you need anything before then, you may call this number again."

You said your parting words in French, smiling at Carmy when you hung up and dropped your work phone. "Did I hear that correct?" Your lover asked with a broad grin, "Was that...?"

"Senior marketing advisor at The Washington Post?" You filled in for him. "Uh, yeah, I think it was, but you know me - I could be wrong."

"You invited someone from The Washington Post to the opening tonight?"

"Is that okay?" You asked, standing from the bed after making note in your datebook. "You look kinda - I don't know, shocked?"

"I-I am," he blinked at you, watching you gather his pristine clothing to hang on the closet door. "But in a good way - I can't believe you did this," he chuckled, wiping his mouth. "I mean - holy shit, Peaches."

You offered a toothy grin, "Figured I could pull a few of my own strings to help get the word out about your love-child."

This made Carmy snicker, "Hey, now. Tonight's important, don't make fun."

"I know," you nodded, leading him back into the bathroom to view your hair products. "Which is why I invited some important people and some not-so important people. I know this is serious, Carmy," you smiled at him, hoping to convey your support, "and I wanted to help in whatever way I could."

"You being there tonight is more than I could ask for," he chuckled, helping you onto the small bathroom counter. You squirted a bit of hair product in your hand, watching him flinch back a little, "Uh, I just don't want my hair greasy, Peach, you know? Not a good look and I'll sweat it out in the kitchen."

"I feel like I should be offended by you having no trust in me," you teased, insisting, "I know whatcha need, baby, lemme help."

Carmy smiled softly and held still, letting you run your hands through his curls to push everything back and away from his forehead in a stylish but manageable "do". There was a silent, serene moment as you and Carmy just existed together in a mundane space, his big, sad eyes watching your face as you worked. He wondered, "Think tonight's gonna be okay?"

"I think tonight's gonna be more than okay," you assured softly. "I think tonight's gonna go better than you're anticipating."

He sighed and planted his hands on either side of you, suddenly dropping his gaze. "I, uh... Sugar invited Mom t'tonight..."

"Yeah, I know."

"You know?"

"Sugar and I are still friends outside of us dating, Carmy," you smiled patiently, slowing your hands so you more toyed with his curls; pushing some strands behind his ears. "She needs someone as much as you do and I don't mind."

"But isn't that what Pete's for?"

"Yes, but you know, Pete's Pete."

Carmy snorted, "Yeah, yeah, good point."

"I don't know if she'll show up tonight, Bear, but whether she does or doesn't, it won't matter - you're not doing this for her. This is for you, Carmy, tonight's about The Bear opening - it's about you and this incredible, amazing thing you've done. Okay?" You caressed both his cheeks in your hands so he could only look at you directly. "If she shows, that's great," you whispered with a soft smile as your thumbs swept the apples of his cheeks, "and if she doesn't, it won't make tonight any less special. That, I can promise."

Carmy's forehead met yours, both pausing to breathe together; peace always a fleeting feeling as of late and being something you both capitalized on. You brought him in closer for an embrace, his face burying in your neck as your arms snaked around his to keep him as close as possible. His arms were tight around your waist, legs spread to accommodate him; both needing the feel of being close before that night's inevitable stressful event.

"Wow, well, don't you look all pretty! Wow, Peach," Pete greeted you when you scurried to the table with your friend in tow. "Oh, hi there!"

"Pete, this is my best friend, Danielle, and Dani, this is Pete, Sugar's husband."

"Hi, it's really nice to meet you," your friend greeted, the two instantly chattering as they both just blew past their introductions to instantly compliment one another's clothes. You smirked, knowing they'd get along famously, and looked around the brand new, packed restaurant.

"Hey, there she is, my pretty girl," Richie greeted smoothly, approaching your standing form to slide his hand around your shoulders.

"Hi, Cousin," you beamed, offering him a hug in greeting. "The place looks fantastic - it's so - I mean - just wow, Richie," you complimented. "You guys did such an amazing job. I need to tell Fak, too, this is - you guys should be so proud, it looks incredible. Hardly can believe what it was before this."

"It really is something, huh?" He grinned. "Hey, Pete," he nodded.

"Hey, Richie."

"And you must be the famous, the fabulous Miss Danielle?"

"That's me," your friend grinned. "You're Richie, right? Carmy's cousin who's not really a cousin but is as good as blood?"

"Yes, ma'am, the very same," he nodded with pride. "We've some drinks coming your way in just a moment, but I need to borrow Peach for just one second."

"Why do they call her Peach?" Dani asked, but Richie was leading you away as Pete was heard answering,

"Oh, because she mastered this peach cobbler with Carmy's mom, Donna, and she started the nickname..."

"What's wrong?" You asked softly with a smile as to not give the illusion to others that you were worried. "What can I do to help?"

"No, no, nothing too bad, you were just requested by the Frenchie-French guy."

"Oh, right, that's right, yeah, I can help with that," you sighed gently, smiling as you approached the table. Greeting the two men and women was easy, Richie impressed by your connections in the professional world. Tonight, The Washington Post didn't just dine with them - no, it was also the director of social media for three luxury, designer brands: Jean-Paul.

Yes, the man was so elusive that he just went by Jean-Paul. Fuck a last name!

Either way, it impressed Richie to hear the introductions. The two women were executives in their own companies, names Richie didn't catch because he was busy taking note of the way Mr. Frenchie-French was basically eye fucking you in front of them all.

"Well," Richie smiled stiffly, "tonight's incredibly special for us. In fact, uh, Y/N's boyfriend is the owner and head chef."

"Really?" Frenchie-French perked his brows, shifting his gaze over to you. "You always had a soft spots for chefs, non? For those who were versed in the culinary arts?"

"Well, mostly I appreciated a man in the kitchen simply because I burn water and would probably unintentionally starve myself," you teased easily, deflecting the man's subtle dig. "I'm actually here with family tonight, so, please, ladies and gentlemen, enjoy tonight - I know I'm biased when I say the food is exceptional, but I look forward to your own opinions."

"We will talk later, mon cher, I am sure there will be plenty to discuss," the Frenchman promised, kissing the back of your hand as you let Richie lead you away by your free hand.

You released a long sigh, muttering, "Bring them a bottle of real champagne, please, Richie, I had a few bottles imported just for them. Listen closely," you lowered your voice as you both paused on the side of the dining room, "bring them a bowl of thin sliced strawberries sprinkled in sugar and pop the cork at their table - it's impressive for whatever reason."

Richie pecked your temple and gave you a tight squeeze, "I got it all covered, girly. You all right? Look like you're gonna be sick?"

"Just men being men grosses me out, I guess," you sighed with a small shrug. "He's always had a thing for me, I figured I'd use that to get him here tonight - Carmy's work speaks for itself, but maybe he'd be inclined to publish an article or two for us if I play nice."

Richie paused you a few feet from your table, complimenting, "I hope Carmy knows he doesn't deserve you, Peach."

"You said years ago neither of us did," you smirked gently. "Said I wasn't relationship material, right? Remember?"

"I was wrong," he nodded. "I even said y'all would never be serious, but..." He scoffed to himself, "I've never seen that boy so crazy about anyone in his life. You've really changed him, Peach. I don't really know how to thank you."

"You can start by buttering up those flirty Frenchmen," you teased, giving his cheek a peck.

"On it," he winked, parting from your side.

Inside the kitchen some twenty minutes later, Richie approached Carmy, directing his attention, "Cousin?"

"Yo."

"Peach is on 17 with Pete."

"Okay."

"Go say hi."

"Yeah, eventually," Carmy nodded absently, never halting his work.

"Eventually?" Richie repeated with distain, something in his stomach twisting.

"Where the fuck is Josh!?" Carmy called into the kitchen, another chef echoing his concerns.

"Yo!" Richie barked as calmly as he could, "Just go say hi to your girl, Cousin."

"Yo, I'll go when I have a minute," Carmy deflected strongly. "I'm in the fuckin' shit, leave me the fuck alone."

"What? I'm saying - "

"I'll get there when I can get there!"

"I'm saying!"

"What?" Carmy barked.

"She's got important fucking people in that dining room, man," Richie scoffed, hands held up in defense. "Just for your ungrateful ass! Maybe the least you can do is go say fuckin' hi - even if you're fuckin' busy. She knows that, it'd be a nice gesture - or whatever fuckin' shit - I don't know! She's your girl!"

"Yeah! Exactly!" Carmy barked. "She's my fuckin' girl, she knows the fuckin' drill, I'll go say fuckin' hi when I get the fuckin' chance, Richie! Fuck's sake! Always tryna meddle and shit!"

"Jesus, fuck," Richie sighed, turning out of the kitchen with his hands waving Carmy off in defeat.

You were none the wiser, entertained by Pete and Dani's gabbing as Sugar was in-and-out, dealing with all the little things going wrong. These little things came to her in the form of notes left at the table subtly for her to go solve, you wanting to help but being shot down every time. Eventually, Carmy was approaching your table with a tray of food, shocking you slightly.

"Hey, Peach," He greeted softly, lowering the tray to balance on the table and lean over to kiss your cheek. "You look gorgeous, baby, wow," he complimented in a whisper, offering another quick kiss.

"Thank you, Chef," you smiled brightly, touching his forearm in a sign of affection. "What's all this you've got for us?"

He hummed and explained what he set on the table in front of you guys; eyes alight and cheeks flushed from the heat of the kitchen. He poured whatever sauce came with the main dish, smiling at Dani, nodding to Pete, then looking to you.

"I'll check on you later, all right, baby?" He mumbled, watching you nod. "I gotta get back," he whispered, "but thank you for being here, my pretty girl."

"No where else I'd rather be, Cream," you rushed, letting his lips find yours briefly.

"Stick around after, would you? When we close, just... Don't leave yet."

"Yes, Chef," you whispered against his lips with a grin. He gave one single more kiss before pulling away to stand upright.

"Enjoy," he bid the table before walking away.

"So, like," Dani trailed after making sure Carmy was out of earshot, "when's the wedding? 'Cause that might've been the cutest thing I've seen. I mean, opening night, he's cooking, but paused to come serve us? Serve you? And he's so soft with you, kissin' you, bein' all cute," she pouted dramatically. "I want a reason to wear a maid of honor dress, please."

"Hey, hey, chill on us. There's no wedding," you sighed with a small laugh, trying to play off how the subject made your stomach twist. "We haven't really talked about it, you know? No biggie."

"What?" She sputtered. "Wait, hang on. Y'all have been together - like - a stupid, ridiculous amount of time. The fuck you mean you haven't talked about it? What are y'all doing, just ignoring the elephant in the room?"

You shrugged lightly, "I don't know, we know if we ever got married, it'd be to each other, but that's really it. We know we want to be together, we know we want to marry each other, but there's been no serious conversation about it."

"Uh, does that sound right to you?" Dani asked Pete.

He shook his head as you all took dainty bites of food to savor the flavors (and save Sugar some). "When I knew with Natalie, I didn't hesitate."

"Well, Carmy isn't like you, Pete," you defended. "He's got a lot on his plate, too, you know?"

"You've said that since Mikey," Dani frowned, her voice quiet.

"With good reason, don't you think? Carmy's just - he's just going through a lot right now and it's a challenge, you know?"

"No, it's more like Carmy's got the emotional intelligence of a fucking teaspoon!"

"Hey," you snapped, "that's not his fault, he doesn't know much better, so watch your mouth."

"He does with you, like... He knows better when he's with you, when it comes to you, Peach," Pete offered softly. "Look, maybe Danielle has a point - it is a little weird. I mean, you guys have been together, what? Six, almost seven years? Creeping up on a decade of just dating - that's a long time. And didn't you guys do that weird little half-dating thing for two years before making it official? Don't you think that's enough time to know if you want to marry someone, and then, you know? Actually marry them? Or at least ask them?"

"Sure, maybe to other people, but Carmy and I have never been conventional, so, I don't see why we need to start now."

Danielle scoffed, "Look, God love Carmy and everything, but you're just wasting time now. He needs to either commit or let you find someone who can actually love you like you deserve."

"Oh, and Carmy doesn't?"

"Wasn't all that long ago that you two took a break 'cause he called you clingy - and some other unsavory terms," Danielle shrugged. "Doesn't really sound like someone who loves you unconditionally - the way you should be loved."

You sighed and sat back in your chair, "I appreciate the insight, but Carm and I are fine. Okay? We've got years under our belts, we don't want to fuck up what obviously works for us so chill out on the questions, okay? I don't have answers to them."

Danielle and Pete shared a look before the man got up to excuse himself to the restroom. You and Dani finished your meals before sipping your wine, waiting for Pete, but Dani sighed, "This lady's been staring in here for, like, ten minutes already. It's freezing, doesn't she want to come in?"

"Hmm? What're you - ?"

"This lady on the street," your friend pointed over her shoulder towards the window her back was now turned to.

When you peaked out, you gasped lightly when you saw Donna Berzatto smoking a cigarette. "Oh, shit!" You stood from your seat, rushing, "Okay, so, uh, yeah - just - can you just sit here for a second? I have to go handle that."

"Who is it?" Dani wondered earnestly.

"I got it, Peach," Pete told you, passing by the table swiftly with a hand patting your shoulder to keep you at your table.

"What the hell's happening?" Dani asked. "Who is that?"

"Nothing, no one, it's okay, I think that's someone we know, just, uh, hang on a second? We'll be right back."

"Sure," she nodded in confusion, watching you get from your seat and follow Pete out the door onto the blistering cold sidewalk.

"Hey, Mama Donna," you greeted happily, arms crossing over your chest to protect from the wind. "Have you been inside yet? We saved you a seat and all, but isn't this - just wow?" You grinned, trying to encourage her to say anything about her children's hard work.

"Oh, no, no, not you, too, Peach, why are you here?" She groaned lightly, looking upset and close to tears.

"I'm here 'cause of Carmy? I-It's opening night, yeah?" You offered in confusion. "Why? What's wrong, Mama D?" You worried, glancing at an emotional Pete.

"No, it's just, I can't come in, I can't, just no," she backed away, only now making you notice the way Pete cried. "I'm so sorry, Peach, honey, but I was never here. Okay? I-I'll call them later, I swear, I promise, I'll call them - but I-I-I wasn't here. Okay? You can't tell them I was here. I'm so sorry."

"Donna, don't do this," you begged, head shaking. "Don't, please. Just come in with Pete and I - just sit there for a bit. Just come in and see what your kids have done - Donna, it's so beautiful. You'd be so proud, but you should really see it for yourself - "

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I can't, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, not tonight, no, I'm sorry, I can't," she deflected in a rambling mumble, turning and hustling down the sidewalk with her head shaking like a Etch-A-Sketch.

You rounded on Pete, "What the hell was that? Pete, what just happened?"

"Um, I-I don't - I didn't mean to."

"Pete? What didn't you mean?"

"She didn't tell her mom about the baby," he rushed, tears falling. "Nat didn't tell Donna, Peach, and I think I just did - I think I just fucked up and told her."

"Oh, no... No, Pete, you didn't."

"I didn't mean to! I swear it was an accident!"

"No, I know you didn't mean to, honey," you rushed, opening your arms to bring him in for a tight hug. "Oh, you poor boy, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Pete."

He sighed, "I'm sorry, too, Peach."

"For what?"

"That... We fell in love with Berzattos and this is our new normal now, right?" He sniffled.

You half-smiled, "Yeah, something like that. But it's okay. See, where Donna's afraid to give her love, neither of us are. Sugar and Carm deserve that from us, right? To be authentic and just love them?"

He nodded, "Yeah, you're right."

"And that's all we gotta do... Is love them, Pete."

"God knows where else they'd get it," he huffed, wiping his face. "Hey, um, I'll be in, in a second - I just need a minute alone, I think, in the cold."

"Take all the time you need," you agreed.

"We're not - we're not telling them about this, right?"

You sighed, "No, I don't think so - at least right now. It might hurt them more, you know? To know Donna was here, but never came in. That she ran away... Again. It'll hurt, they deserve to be happy about tonight."

Pete nodded rapidly, looking like he was gonna burst into tears. Instead of going back inside, you just moved to Pete's side and stood there; producing a cigarette, lighting it, offering Pete a drag that he turned down, and the both of you just standing silently; one smoking, one crying, both processing.

"Wow, look at these gorgeous ladies! By far the baddest in the whole place! Yeah, man!" Fak teased as he approached you and Danielle after closing the The Bear officially. "What a privilege to have you both dine with us this evening! Ugh, truly an honor to see you both here," he praised comically, evening giving a small bow that his brother mimicked.

Your eyes rolled, "You're laying it on really thick when I already tipped you." He snickered with Theo. "Hey, seriously, though, tonight was incredible. I mean, it was all so beautiful, you should all be so proud."

"Oh, we are," Neil giggled, his brother hanging off his shoulders.

"Good," you teased. "Uh, is now an okay time to go back and see him? Kinda wanna offer my compliments to the chef directly, you know?"

"No," Fak answered instantly, "uh, well, probably not the best time."

"Yeah, probably not," Theodore echoed.

"I can sense you two ramping up to something," you sighed, "so, I'm gonna ask you skip all that and tell me what's wrong. Why can't I go see my boyfriend? He just had an incredibly successful opening night, I kinda wanna kiss him if you don't mind."

"Um, well, h-he didn't want you to worry, so, he said not t'tell you, but, uh... Yeah, no, Carmy's, like, locked in the walk-in freezer. Han Solo style."

"What?"

"Locked in the walk-in," Fak nodded rapidly, "yeah, no, the handle - like, the whole handle came off. He's locked in, Peach..."

"Oh, my fucking God," you breathed. "Are you saying he - he missed opening night? Neil!"

"Yeah, kinda... Well, sorta - I mean, technically, but - "

"Oh, Jesus," you breezed past them all.

"Mmm-mmm, the fridge guy's name is Terry," Tina corrected Carmy, flinching a little when he slapped the other side of the metal door he was locked behind.

"See, th-tha-that's what I'm talking about!" Carmy raged. "I'm so fucking distracted, and for what? For fucking what? 'Cause of a girl?" He chuckled ruefully to himself.

"Nuh-uh, don't do that, Carmy," Tina scolded. "That's not no girl, that's your girl, that's Peach - you don't lash out at her, baby."

"Yo, maybe - maybe I'm just not built for this. Right? Maybe that's okay! Maybe that just is. She'd be better off, Tina... I'm just - I'm not built for this."

But what Carmy didn't hear was Sydney asking Tina to cover her at the front because she needed to step out the back, get some air; Tina accepting and telling Carm to hang on a moment. Something he missed. While Tina took Syd's spot, Syd rushed outside, and you slipped in the kitchen door; Carmy being surrounded by shitty ripped tape and an entire side full of the flowers he had brought in for tonight - for you. It was a haunting reminder; something suffocating.

When you got to the walk-in, you were prepared to call out for Carmy, but he started speaking from within, halting any word on your tongue.

"I wasn't here b-because I was looking a-a-at fucking engagement rings when the fridge guy fuckin' called," Carmy ranted, your heart stalling in your chest. "Right? Like, what the fuck was I thinking? Like I was gonna get married? Commit to this relationship? Be h-her fucking husband or some shit? Have a fucking wife? I'm a fucking - I'm a fuckin' psycho!" He laughed a little, the tears springing to your eyes as his words disarmed your heart and emotional dam. "That's why! That's why I'm good at what I do! That's how I operate! I am the best because I didn't have any of this fuckin' bullshit, right? I could - I could focus and I could concentrate and I had a routine and I - and I had fuckin' cell reception, and Peach and I just had our own routine! We didn't need this extra bullshit, and now..."

You just listened, leaning on the freezer's door, tears silently leaking down your cheeks as you had the horrendous realization that you were what now slowed Carmy down. You were what currently stood in his way, when this whole time, you thought you were helping; making things easier; supporting him. No... No, his words rattled your heart to accept that you were now the bane; the object of his ire. You and your relationship was what was wrong and was causing Carmy hurt and professional complications.

Something you never wanted to contribute towards. You both always said if this relationship got to be too hard, you'd walk away. Better to feel anger than resentment; and now, you knew you had to walk away else risk that resentment fester.

Carmy started up again, "I don't need to provide amusement or enjoyment, I don't need to be someone's 'to have and to hold'. I don't need to receive any amusement or enjoyment, nor for someone to have and hold me... And I'm completely fine with that. Because no amount of good is worth how terrible this fucking feels." You were ready to open your mouth, but he finished by nailing the final nail in the coffin of your relationship, "It's just a complete waste of fuckin' time - entertaining what I know I shouldn't. Being in this relationship, trying to give what I don't have, wasting everyone's time."

You took your chance, speaking through your tears, "I'm really sorry you feel that way, Carmen."

"Peach?" Carmy rasped from behind the door, sounding more alert than he had before. "Baby? Hey, hey, Peaches? That you? Peach - hey. Hey," he sounded desperate as you backed away from the door, a fist pounding into the metal, "hey, no, Y/N? Y/N!" The seriousness settled over you both, Carmen understanding you heard a lot more than ever intended and once those words are out there, there's no getting them back. "Y/N, baby? Hey, no, no, Y/N - listen to me - hey, no, no! I-I didn't know you were there, baby, okay? No, Y/N, please - tell me you're there now, let me explain." He paused. "Let me explain! Please! C'mon, baby, please, let me fucking explain - tell me you're still there! Y/N? Y/N!"

You sniffled and walked away, feeling smaller than you ever had in your life. You barely noticed when the kitchen door opened, not until a figured dressed in black stopped you. "Peach? Hey, hey," Richie halted you - taking note of the tears. "What's wrong? What happened? Are you okay - who fuckin' did it?"

You just stared at Richie for a long moment, opening your mouth twice before sighing and smiling sadly. "I never wanted to be what got in his way," you whispered sadly. "I'm sorry, Richie."

"Peaches, hey, what's - "

But you reached up to kiss his cheek, "Tonight was so beautiful, Cousin, and I'm so fucking proud of you all. Thank you for everything - not just tonight, Richie, but everything you do." You smiled again, whispering, "Take care of him. Okay? He'll need you."

"What're you talking about? What's going on? Where are you going? Hey, where are you going, Peach, please?"

"Have a good night, Richie, I love you," you whispered, leaving out the kitchen door as quickly as you could. "Hey," you sniffled, approaching Dani with the Fak Brothers, "can we go now, please?"

"Are you okay?" Dani worried in shock.

"I'd really like to go, Dani, please," you rushed, throwing your coat on and smiling at the Brothers as if your heart wasn't in pieces. "Thanks again for tonight, you guys, it was magical."

"Peach? Wait, hey, are you okay, baby? What just happened?" Neil worried, watching you snatch Dani's hand, but pause when screaming was heard from the kitchen. Everyone stared at the door, Neil muttering, "The fuck are they...?"

"Now, Dani, please," you whimpered to your friend, who wasted no time in escorting you out of The Bear. The moment you were outside, you burst into sobs, Dani grunting a little as she lead you down a side alley to lean you on a brick wall and beg you to breathe normally.

"What the hell just happened? Hey, honey, you need to breathe," she smoothed hair off your face - but it was like you were drowning in the air with the way you gasped and gaped and panted and whimpered and choked yourself.

"I-I-I-I think - I think w-we're done, I think we're done, I think - oh, fuck - I think we just broke up," you sobbed, hands on your knees. "Oh, my God, Dani," you whimpered, "I-I think - I think we're done, Danielle, oh, my fucking God. I-I heard things tonight that I just - I can't not know, anymore! He said - fuck! He was just so candid, he didn't know I was there so h-he was sayin' things I have t-to now confront - and I really didn't fucking want to! He just - he doesn't want to really marry me, D, and-and-and he was apparently looking a-a-a-at rings - fucking engagement rings! But then he said that w-was the issue - he missed the fridge guy's call 'cause he was looking at fucking rings for me and this is why he missed opening night - 'cause the fucking fridge broke! Oh, my God, Danielle, i-i-it's my fault, it's my fucking fault, he missed the most important night of his life and it's my fault - "

You were cut off by your stomach lurching, emptying your insides onto the pavement. The delicious appetizer, the tantalizing main course, Marcus' fresh baked bread that was delightfully soft on the inside yet baked crisp on the outside, and every bit of the sweetened dessert - all wasted on Chicago bricks.

"Okay, okay, ah, shit, just get it out, babe, there you go," Danielle held your hair, catching you in a suffocating hug once you were done puking. "I've got you, babe, I've got you. You're okay, no, hey, this isn't your fault. I've got you, come on. I think we need pints of ice cream and the saltiest pretzels we can find," she pushed some hair from your sticky forehead, pouting dramatically, "maybe some Pepto? Few Saltines and ginger ale? C'mon, we're going back to mine, there's a good girl," she coaxed you from the ground and away from the wall, "c'mon, you're stronger than this. There's my girl, here we go, just one foot in front of the other - together, with me, just like that."

You sobbed, not knowing that Sydney and her father stood listening just a few feet away behind a set of dumpsters.

The moment the freezer's door was open and Carmy was free, he was sprinting around the kitchen to grab his coat, leave Neil in charge of closing, and racing out the door as the Fak Brothers yelled at him for hurting your feelings.

"Hey, hey, hey, Chef! Carmy, wait!" Sydney chased him outside.

"No time!"

"Wait! She went with her friend!"

Carmy came to a tripping halt, catching himself before he hit the pavement before whirling around to approach her, "What?"

"Her friend? She was with some girl tonight?"

"Yeah - yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, um, that's - yeah, that's Danielle," Carmy nodded. "Her best friend, yeah, they were here tonight, sitting with Pete and Sugar."

"Listen, Carmy, I heard them when they left the restaurant... Peach was really upset, like, more upset than I've ever heard, saying you two broke up? Or something? She cried so hard, Carm, she actually threw up, it sounded like she was in genuine distress. I-I didn't know if I should've intervened, but her friend was with her and helping."

"Shit - fuck - Goddamnit," he seethed. "All right, thank you - "

"I doubt they went to your place, I think I heard her friend saying they were going to her apartment."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, great, I know where Dani lives, thanks Syd!" Carmy bid, sprinting in the other direction - never bothering with the public bus system, just running into the night. Sydney was left to sigh on the sidewalk, Neil and Theo joining her before Richie followed - all watching Carmy disappear down the sidewalk.

"He's a fucking idiot," Richie shook his head.

"What the hell even happened?" Syd asked.

"Carmy mouthed off in the walk-in, Peach heard it all," Richie supplied. "You know the dumbass was gonna propose tonight?"

"What?" Syd blinked in shock.

"Yeah," Neil tacked on, "we had a whole plan and everything. Candles, soft music, flowers - there's a bunch of flower bouquets in the walk-in."

"I'm sure that was hard for Carm to look at," Syd sympathized.

"Doesn't excuse whatever he said," Richie snapped. "She looked devastated."

"She cried so hard, she threw up in the alley," Syd frowned.

"How do you know?" Neil asked.

"I heard her," the other chef frowned. "My dad and I - we actually both heard her."

"Jesus fuck," Richie seethed.

"I mean... Should we still set up?" Theo wondered to his brother. "What if they kiss and make up, like always? Carmy might still wanna go through with the proposal, right? You know?"

"Maybe," Neil trailed, looking at Richie.

"I don't fucking know," he sighed, hands on his hips.

"She thinks they broke up, I imagine whatever she heard was pretty nasty," Sydney frowned. "Think they'll really make up tonight?"

"Let's hope," Richie sighed. "That fuckin' idiot isn't gonna find anyone better than Peach. Fuck," he looked around the city street. "All right, fuck it, fine, let's fucking set up. Not like the jackass deserves it, but let's do it for Peach."

Neil and his brother grinned at each other, turning to hustle back into The Bear - leaving Sydney and Richie on the street. No words were exchanged, just silent shakes of their heads before they followed the Faks with the intention to help set up for a proposal nobody even knew if would still happen.

The cold night burned Carmy's lungs, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of suffocation he felt earlier when listening to one of your voicemails while trapped.

Your words were sweet as pie, as they usually were; a voicemail left when you were still at work, but feeling so excited to see him that night that you just had to call him. You reminded him of the adoration and love you held for him, relaying how proud you felt - and that you knew Mikey would be, too. You were always doing that, reassuring Carmy; and maybe that's why he felt so freaked out, he wasn't used to it. Even after almost 7 years together, he just wasn't used to what he didn't know he deserved.

Because Carmy didn't think he deserved anything remotely close to love, understanding, compassion, patience, and / or reassurance.

He had sobbed out loud as he locked his phone, not having the heart to delete your message. He often never did - he liked listening to your voice on long, hard nights; it brought him peace when the world felt too loud. He also kept whatever little notes you left for him, even going as far as to get a few of your hand-drawn hearts tattooed on his forearm. One for each anniversary you've shared together. He realized he never wanted to be without you and all his doubts and fear was him projecting his own incompetence towards this relationship; so, he locked his phone, he didn't delete your message.

The moment the fridge door had been opened, Carmy was out of there, shot off like a Roman Candle - your words of love and understanding still ringing in his ears as he was freed. He needed to apologize, and he needed to apologize right fucking now.

The whole run to Danielle's apartment, Carmy wasn't sure what to say to you; mulling over different ideas in his head. He tried to plan his speech, but the only thing he could think of was how much he loved you and that the ring in his pocket weighed a hundred pounds.

He pounded at Danielle's door. Carmy paced slightly as he waited, knocking frantically, and surely waking the neighbors - but that didn't matter. All that mattered was talking to you, something he was desperate to accomplish. When the door opened, your friend offered a stale look and shook her head, "Nope."

"Dani, please," he halted the closing door, "it's all a misunderstanding, I swear to God, please, just - let me try to fix this. Please, okay? I-I need her - I fucking need her and I have to fix this 'cause she's all that matters, okay? So, let me talk to her - please. Please, Danielle!"

"Yeah? The only thing?"

"More than anyone, more than anything - more than The fucking Bear, I swear to fucking God, Danielle! Just - Just one chance, please. I-I don't know how it all got so fucked, but please, I have to try - "

"Whatever you said in that freezer, Carmen, fucking gutted her, you hear me?" Dani stood in her doorway protectively. "Should've had your ass frozen for the hurt you caused her. How the fuck do you intend on making this right? Huh? It's been almost a fucking decade, dude, if you're seriously still afraid of commitment, just fuck off and leave her alone. Let her walk away 'cause I promise, there's a line of dudes who would love to put a ring on her loyal-ass finger - "

"Please, let me fix this," Carmy begged, sounding close to tears. "I need her, Danielle, please."

"It's okay, D," a voice whispered from behind Danielle, and when she turned, you were revealed - jacket and purse in hand, looking completely exhausted, drained, and disheveled. "I'm just tired, Dani, but we have to talk about this... So, I'll go home with him and call you tomorrow, okay?"

"You sure?"

"It's a decent walk, gives us too much time to talk," you shrugged, refusing to meet Carmy's bloodshot eyes. "Thanks for tonight, sorry I was such a mess," you whispered, hugging your best friend since pre-school.

"Girl, don't you ever apologize to me. But hey, look, I don't know, you were just drowning in your tears, like, five minutes ago. Sure you really wanna go? You can stay here as long as you'd like, girl, fuck him."

"Better to work it out now than later, I guess," you whispered, letting her kiss your cheek and see you guys out.

"She calls me cryin', Carmen, I'll kick your ass," She threatened as you moved down the apartment's hall. You might've snickered just a little, but the amusement was wiped clean when you rounded the corner and came up to the elevators.

Now that it was just you two, it was dreadfully awkward.

"Baby - "

"Just - don't talk for right now, Carmen," you sighed, shaking your head. "I'm still digesting all you said."

He frowned when you walked onto the elevator without a single emotion on your face, following you, and when on the ground floor, moved out to head home. It was quiet, it was awkward; only the sounds of traffic filling the space between you as you walked.

"Listen," he started with a long sigh, "you came in at the worst time, Peach, heard some shit you shouldn't have that I-I didn't even mean. I was just," he paused, sighing, "really angry and frustrated, fucking running my mouth 'cause I didn't know what else to do."

"Sounded like I came in at the best time since you're not very forthcoming with emotions. So, hearing your confession put a lot in perspective for me, Carm."

"I was just angry, Peach," he frowned, hands deep in his pockets. "Felt like I was self sabotaging myself, I wasn't sure what else to feel. So, I just lashed out. I didn't mean it, but I just felt like being angry... So fucking angry, baby, I just - I didn't know what else to feel."

"I don't know if I can be with someone like that," you whispered. "Someone who throws our relationship under the bus when he's angry, someone who's first line of defense is apparently to blame the relationship he's been in for over half a decade with the same girl. Someone you've known your whole life..."

"Peach - "

"If it's that easy for you to just disregard us, I don't think we should continue this."

Carmy took a breath and reached out to pull you to a stop. He dug in his pocket for a moment, then showed you the black velvet jewelry box. "I was gonna propose tonight, when everyone was gone," he explained when you took the box to open gingerly. "I think because that was on my mind already, something I was more than nervous to actually do, you're right, it did become my first line of defense to blame us - not just you, baby, but us. You and me... Mostly me, though," he chuckled sadly. "You're this perfect, sweet angel who just loves me out loud when I don't deserve it, and I'm... I'm just me," he sighed, eyes reddening. "And I know I'm never gonna be enough for you, I think I started to get in my head about if you said no. How I missed the call from Terry about the fridge 'cause I was picking out an engagement ring that you didn't even want, that you rejected - rejected me; and in turn, I missed opening night, and it all just - it got to a boiling point. Look, Peach, it's never been a secret that I don't think I deserve you... But I wanted to be the man that could at least give you an honest try of my best. You've stuck by me the past seven years when you should've ran for the hills, and I knew I wanted us for life years ago - but everything was still so up in the air. So confusing. So fucked up. I figured, after opening tonight, if things went t'plan, I could propose - prove to you that we're on our feet and there weren't any rugs to be pulled."

"What if things didn't go to plan?" You whispered.

"We're kinda living it now," he admitted, hand rubbing the back of his neck. "But even if tonight was all a total failure, I know I might've still done it because it's you, Peach. It's you... I've known for years you're who I want, I just never knew how to do this - to move us forward. You're my first relationship, hopefully my only relationship, and I just didn't know how to advance us. I think when things got real for me, my insecurities crept in, and I just reacted - I didn't think."

"We always said when this wasn't healthy or when this wasn't good for us anymore, we'd walk away," you reminded. "That we'd rather be sad or angry about a breakup instead of letting resentment fester from being together."

"It's still good for me, Peach, we're still good," he whispered, stepping closer. "Is it still good for you? Or did I lose you completely tonight?"

"I don't know, Carmy, you've been lashing out a lot lately. At me specifically."

"And with The Bear now open, I-I should be okay. You know? Back to normal?"

You chuckled dryly, "I see, back to your high walls? Emotional constipation?"

"Then maybe not normal," he corrected, "because I just needed to get us here, to tonight, to opening, and then show you that it's over. Show you that part of our lives is over and we only have more adventures to look forward to. Not ones like this, though," he gestured up the street, your eyes cutting over and realizing you were back at The Bear.

"Do you really think you're a psycho?"

He chuckled, "After tonight? Yeah, pretty convinced... Plus, I, uh, I saw in the freezer the way we're labeling things - and got angry about it. Angry about the way we were tearing tape and labeling things. It was so fucking stupid, but I just - I felt so crazy. I still do, I still feel like my head doesn't make sense and I'm a bit, you know... Crazy."

You nodded slowly, "Then how can you promise me this kinda shit won't happen again?"

"I don't think I can, but I can make you the promise that I am working on it; trying to identify when I feel reactive, trying to calm that down. I'm trying, Peach, I really am - it's just... Taking a lot of time," he sighed sadly. "And I know you don't have any more left to give me."

"I've already given you this many years," you reminded softly, "I think I could spare another or two if it meant you getting your shit together, that you get better, stop feeling so crazy."

"I don't deserve anymore time - "

"I think you need to step back and reevaluate what it means to be deserving because you always say that. That you don't deserve something - even as simple as time. Everyone deserves time and opportunity to figure shit out, Carmy, and you're no exception."

He nodded, "I'm... Trying." He took a long, deep breath, "I'm, uh... Going to meetings, you know, like, uh, Al-Anon and whatever."

"That's good, they're there to help," you nodded, stepping closer to take his hands in yours after closing the ring box and stuffing it back in his pocket. "Now, I think you need to do something."

"Anything, Peach."

"Take my hand, bring me back to The Bear, and go about your plan."

He froze in shock, blinking at you in earnest, "You really mean that?"

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

"No, ma'am, and I think that scares me more."

"You'd rather break up? 'Cause at this point, Carm, we either move forward with this engagement and fucking work our shit out, or we break up. It's been almost a decade. It's your choice, you're the one who was saying he couldn't be someone's husband, that he didn't need to provide anyone nor have them provide you with anything. So, you tell me what you want to do - because all I know is that I love you, I want you for life, but not if you're going to resent me and regret moving our relationship forward. I don't need to get married, Carmy, but you can't keep jerking me around like you have been. So... Make a decision based on what you want - based on what's best for you. Not what's best for us, but put yourself first right now, Carmy, and make a decision about what you want."

With a nod of his head, Carmy cleared his throat and offered you his hand. When he felt you lock your fingers with his, he glanced up and down the street, then lead you across it. Up the sidewalk and to the front door of The illuminating Bear, he paused to produce his keys and then lead you inside.

The lights were dim, but a flip of the switch brightly lit up the newly constructed restaurant. He seemed nervous at your cool demeanor, watching you shed your coat and set your purse down; but his hand took yours again and lead you further into the place. He seemed nervous, but once in the kitchen, it was almost like Carmy's stress melted away.

"I was... I had this plan," he explained softly, leaning on one of the work stations with both hands in yours to keep you in front of him. "I have all these candles, right? Was gonna distract you in here," he looked around the fluorescent lighting, "while Richie, Fak, Tina, and the others set everything up. We'd hang in here after the place was closed down, you know, show you around the completed kitchen. And really casually, I'd ask if you were ready to go, so, we'd go out the front, and we'd walk right into the candlelight..."

"Yeah?" He nodded, thumbs running over your hands as he pushed off the counter. "Don't deviate from your plan now..."

Carmy smirked, "Wanna hear the boring kitchen stuff?"

"Of course, I do."

So, he lead you around in a tour of the kitchen; showing off the new office space that he invited you to take advantage of whenever you wanted. The sleek appliances were shown off, the vast fridges, freezers, new cutlery, state-of-the-art dishwashers. Everything, he showed you, knowing you helped him pick a lot of it out - it was still nice to see it all come together finally.

And then, slowly, he lead you out of the kitchen, but to your honest shock, the dining room was covered in lit candles and different bouquets of thick, gorgeous floral arrangements. "Oh, holy shit," you breathed, Carmy hiding his confusion much better than you.

You came to a slow halt in the middle of the room, the lights out and only leaving the candles to provide an ambiance. "I had this whole speech planned, too," Carmy told you softly. "Remind you of the day we met, how you saved me from those jackass bullies - remember?"

You smiled softly, emotions swirling in your chest, "First day of first grade, you had a Buzz Lightyear backpack and some kids were picking on you 'cause of it."

"And what did you do?"

You felt bashful remembering, but humored him by answering, "Pushed their faces in the mud at recess and made them apologize."

"You've been my best friend since that day," he nodded, bringing you in a few steps closer. "And when we got to high school, my feelings changed. You weren't just my best friend, but the girl I was madly in love with... Took me a couple years to buck up the courage to ask you out officially, though."

"Sure took your sweet time," you whispered with a smile, "but all good things to those who wait, right?"

"And I think you've waited long enough for a man to be who you deserve," he frowned. "All these years - it's been you at my side. You even - fuck - you even came over to Amsterdam for a bit because I was feeling overwhelmed and lonely. Sad, maybe even a little homesick. But you just - you just showed up like it was the most common thing in the world."

You chuckled through your tears, "Yeah, we had some good times on that boat, didn't we?"

He nodded with a softening smile, pushing hair from your face and behind your ear; pausing to hold your cheek carefully. "And when we came back stateside... You were still the only constant presence in my life. You were my family without blood, and I knew after that Christmas that you'd forever be my other half, and I'd spend my life conveying how grateful I am for you. I just - I never knew how to put it into words until now."

"What changed?"

"Realizing that I wanted to marry you years ago - and I should've. I know I shouldn't have drug my feet with us, delay our inevitable, because honestly? I couldn't see my life without you in it and I knew I needed you with me forever. Peach," he frowned, reaching for your other cheek, "we agreed when this wasn't healthy, we'd walk away - I remember that. But I need you to know, I'll never fucking regret you. I'll never resent you. You've been unwaveringly supportive and loving and... And I've been the luckiest man to experience it all. But now," he pushed himself a step closer so he was hovered over your lips, "I know that you deserve someone just as present in this relationship as you are. I knew once The Bear was done, I was done - I was done beating this bush around and wasting time. I knew what I needed to do because the idea of you not being in my life anymore terrifies me more than anything. I don't remember life without you, Peach, and I don't ever want to know what it's like. So," he cleared his throat, "here, in the restaurant I so desperately wanted to give up on so many times, but you always stopped me, I wanted to make this official. I wanted it to be here to show you that the past year of our turmoil - it's fucking over, Peach. We did it," he whispered, "and now, the next and only thing I want to focus on is us."

Carmy readjusted you both for a little bit of space, holding your left hand tightly as he lowered himself to a single knee; looking up at you with those big, wide, sad blue eyes that were growing redder by the passing second. The candlelight created a romantic atmosphere that cocooned you both in a warm embrace, the flowers around you projecting their floral scent.

"So, I need to ask you something real important, baby," he whispered, his throat bobbing to restrain his emotion that clawed up his throat, "because if I don't, I don't think I could breathe again." He cleared his throat, pulling the ring box from his pocket and opening it to present to you officially. "Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N... My sweetest Peach, I've loved you almost my entire life, you're my best friend, my most loyal and sweetest confidant. You make me want to be a man better than I was yesterday and never before have I ever seriously considered marriage - until you. Now? Now, I can't get the idea out of my head, so, my sweet girl," he took another breath, the tears in his eyes swelling and slowly dripping down his cheeks as you slowly got on your knees in front of him, "I need to ask you... W-Would you do me the honor? Of being my wife?"

"Carmen."

He grinned at you, both with tears down your cheeks. "Will you marry me, Y/N? I can't see my life without you in it, so... I want this, I want you for life. Y/N, will you marry me?" He paused, adding a meek little, "Please?" at the end.

With a deep breath, you slowly reached for his cheeks in a soft caress to wipe his tears; both just staring at one another for a good few moments before a face-splitting grin nearly cracked your lips. "Yes," you finally answered, "yeah, yes, yes, of course, I'll marry you, Carmen, yes!"

"Oh, thank fuckin' God," he laughed, letting you lunge forward to knock him backward in a hug - missing the candles arranged in a small circle for you two to stand in. Carmy laughed loudly, happily, giving you a tight squeeze as he mused, "Had my heart beatin' outta my chest for a second there, Peach."

"Oh, please," you laughed, "after all this time, you really thought I'd say no?"

He shrugged meekly, "Thought my most recent fuck-ups would've added to any reasons you might have to say no."

"Oh, spare me - you're my best friend, Carmy, you know I couldn't ever say no to you. Not without puking in nervousness."

"Can we maybe not talk about puke when we just got engaged?"

You laughed and nodded, "Fine, fine, fine, then put the ring on, please."

You presented your left manicured hand, watching Carmy almost giddily removed the band from the box, took a slow, deep breath, and then, the most beautiful ring was being slid onto your finger in an official show of your engagement. Of your undying love. Of your commitment, promises, and future together.

"YEAH!" An array of varying cheers and hollers of support and excitement rang out around you; startling both you and Carmy to look up. Richie, Sydney, Tina, Neil, Theo, Pete, and Sugar all hung in the bathroom's alcove - watching with splitting grins and cheering in celebration.

There was no time to question them as Richie lead the charge over; helping you to your feet for a giant, bear hug before gushing over your engagement ring. Neil and Theo popped one of the authentic bottles of champagne, pouring different flutes for those present.

"Calm down," Natalie scolded Richie lightly, "and move out the way, I want to hug my engaged bestie!"

You squealed with Sugar when her arms wrapped around you tightly, Rich moving on to congratulate Carmy - who apologized for his angry words earlier and thanked them for still setting things up. Richie promised it was for you, not Carmy, but still hugged the little shit with a laugh - indicating he was just joking.

"Let me see!" Natalie grinned, examining the ring Carmy chose and squealing again. "Oh, my God! Oh, it's so pretty! Oh, shit - sisters!" She gasped, holding your hands tightly, "We're going to be sisters - like, officially!"

"Sisters in law, but yeah, cupcake," you beamed at her, wiping your tears and giggling. "I can't - this just doesn't feel real," you told her softly, looking the few feet over to see Carmy with the lads as Sydney stood with you and Sugar. "Him proposing? I genuinely thought it wouldn't happen," you tried to laugh your nerves off, looking at your ring and fiddling with it.

"Yeah, right," Sydney laughed. "I haven't been around that long and even I knew this was gonna happen."

"Oh, please, she's right," Natalie grinned when you went to retaliate, "he first started talking about how he wanted to marry you when he was, like, 15. This has been the longest thing coming."

"Thank you guys for helping," you whispered with a smile. "It's all so beautiful."

"Happy to help for a good cause," Syd smiled, complimenting your ring as Neil called for a toast. Everyone was given flutes of champagne, Carmy's arm wrapping around your waist as each friend gave their own little speech, congratulating you both before the alcohol was being drained.

"Uh, and where are you two going?" Sugar asked about an hour later with a small giggle when Carmy wrapped an arm around your neck after helping you into your coat again.

"Gotta celebrate alone with my fiancé," he smirked, "later, guys! Don't forget to lock up!"

"Carmen!" You scolded with a small laugh, gaping at him.

"What? They got this," Carmy chuckled. "Thanks, you guys, see you tomorrow!"

"We can help clean," you told him as he lead you out of the restaurant.

"Nah, we've got bigger plans," he smirked at you. "Got plenty t'celebrate, yeah? Ever fucked as fiancés before?"

"No - but I hear it's some crazy sex," you whispered, locking your arms around his waist to stay close. Neither of you cared about the bus at this hour, opting to walk home in the cold - not that you felt it. Your love burned brighter than the cold biting your skin.

requesting rules and masterlist

The Bear masterlist

#carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto imagine #carmy berzatto fic #carmy x reader #carmen carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto fic #carmen berzatto fanfiction #carmy berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x female!reader #carmy berzatto x f!reader #carmy berzatto x fem!reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmen berzatto x fem!reader #carmen berzatto x female!reader #carmen berzatto x f!reader #carmy berzatto angst #carmy berzatto fanfiction #carmen berzatto #carmy the bear #the bear #the bear fx #the bear hulu #hulu the bear #the bear x reader #the bear x you #the bear imagine #carmen berzatto imagine #carmy berzatto fluff

[littledemondani]

10 and 22 for the smut prompts please! I love your work, you're one of my favorite Eddie writers <3

call it what you want

warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, fem!reader, handjob, mentions of masturbation (male and female), best friends to lovers, dirty talk, petting

word count: 1.9k

prompt: 10. I can't help but have naughty thoughts when you look like that. 22. Just friends?! Do your friends make you feel hot and bothered like this? Do they make you moan like this? (X)

a/n: thank you for the req, bby<3 i really hope you enjoy it! sorry if anything like this has been done before. i don't have time to scroll through and read everything. reader and eddie are both 20 in this. also, my requests are open for blurbs/one-shots/concepts, etc.

eddie could feel his heart hammering wildly in his chest — could also feel the blood rushing straight to his cock. no, this can’t be happening, not when you’re sitting right there next to him on the sofa. your right leg was crossed over your left, which hiked your already short plaid skirt up enough to showcase more of your thigh. eddie silently cursed himself and prayed to whatever god would listen to take away the filthy thoughts beginning to infiltrate his mind.

usually, those thoughts would creep in late at night when he was trying to go to sleep. he’d imagine how you’d look with your mouth stuffed full of his cock. your pretty eyes welled up with tears as you gazed up at him, silently pleading for him to fuck your throat just a little bit faster. he’d picture himself between your legs, tongue flicking at your clit with two fingers pushed in to the knuckle. he’d wonder how tight your cunt is, how wet and warm you’d feel around his cock. the way your walls would flutter and clench with each thrust he gives you. he’d try to imagine how your moans would sound, how his name would fall from your lips, begging him to fill you up with his cum.

in those moments, he didn’t feel an ounce of guilt. his mind was clouded with lust, only focusing on how fucking good his hand felt stroking his painfully hard cock. it wasn’t until after the post-orgasmic bliss faded did the reality of the situation sink in, leaving him with a heavy, ugly feeling in his chest. 

you were his best friend and had been ever since the 10th grade when you two were paired up to be lab partners in biology. he was there for you through every heartbreak, every new relationship, the drama with the other girls in your class, the bullshit divorce your parents went through, and everything else in between. 

to have those sexual feelings about you, in his eyes, made him just like every other guy — the ones you complained to him about who only wanted to be your friend in hopes of getting into your pants. he hated that he had them, but no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t push them away for good. they always came back stronger and stronger, and now, much to eddie’s horror, they’re coming up directly in your presence.

he knew he should avert his gaze, should put his attention back on the movie that he insisted the both of you watch. instead, his eyes roamed over your exposed thigh, taking in how the hem of your skirt stopped just below your groin. if you moved even the slightest bit, he’d be able to catch a glimpse of your panties. what kind were you wearing? were they black? pink? blue? purple? cotton? lace? his cock swelled at the idea of you wearing a red lacy thong underneath.

you cleared your throat and it brought eddie back to the present. he quickly tore his gaze away from you and reached to grab his beer from the coffee table. to not seem conspicuous, he glanced down while he took a decent swig, taking notice of the obvious erection straining against his dark denim jeans. fuck what was he gonna do? if he noticed it, you could too if you happened to look directly at his lap.

he closed his eyes and tried to picture every repulsive thing imaginable to get rid of his hard-on. mrs. o’donnell in a bra seemed to be doing the trick, until he felt your hand on his thigh. his eyes snapped open and he looked down at you, the panic clearly evident behind his beautiful, big brown eyes. 

“are you okay?” you asked sweetly. “you’ve been fidgeting this whole time. d’you not like the movie?”

eddie couldn’t speak. your hand was close to his crotch, so close. one inch to the right and you would be touching him. he swallowed thickly, trying to wrack his brain for a good excuse.

he stammered a bit, brows furrowed and slightly shaking his head before settling on, “nah, no. e-everything’s good.” followed by a nervous chuckle and a fake smile.

you weren’t convinced at all. and it wasn’t just because it was blatantly obvious that he was lying. you had noticed him staring at you. noticed how he sucked in a sharp breath when you crossed your leg over the other and your skirt rode up. noticed how he had to dig his nails into the denim of his jeans — something you figured was to keep himself from reaching out to touch you like he most likely wanted to. out of the corner of your eye, you could see his gaze roaming over your body, and you couldn’t deny the warmth that flooded you because of it.

“really? because something tells me your mind was…somewhere else.” you scooted closer to him, and he tensed up a little, earning a giggle from you.

when he doesn’t say anything, a habit of his when he’s really flustered, you gestured to his lap. all of the blood quickly drains from his face, turning him slightly pale. fuck, you knew. you knew and you were probably going to be super freaked out and want nothing to do with him. you were going to yell at him, call him a freak, and run out of his trailer as fast as you could. at least, that’s what he pictured every time he thought about what you would do if you ever found out.

“i uh — y/n, listen, i-it’s not what it looks like—”

“i think it’s exactly what it looks like,” you note. “you got a hard-on. all because of how short my skirt is.”

it feels like the walls are closing in on him and he’s struggling to breathe. he closes his eyes, waiting for the inevitable moment when you start cursing him out. that never comes, though, and eddie is beyond shocked when you rub your palm over his erection.

he looked at you, eyes wide, a mix of confusion and wonder behind them. your lips were tugged into a wicked smirk as you felt his cock twitch against your touch. “isn’t that right, eddie?”

he doesn’t know what to do. in all of his worrying, he never stopped to think about you actually being into him that way. you always called him your ‘buddy’ and spoke to him like you did any other friend you had. he thought his chances with you were slim to none and had come to accept that you would only ever see him as a friend.

“i-i,” he stuttered. he took one last glance at you. your bottom lip was pulled between your teeth, eyes filled with what he could only describe as lust, chest slightly heaving as you continued to palm him. you wanted him. just like he’s wanted you all this time. that revelation destroyed every ounce of panic within him, and in it’s place, left only an intense state of arousal. “i can’t help but have naughty thoughts when you look like that.”

you can’t suppress the whine that slips past your lips. you increase the pressure of your hand on his bulge, keeping your eyes glued to his. “hm..do you think of me like that often?” you asked thoughtfully.

“y-yes,” he admitted, swallowing thickly as he flicked his gaze from your eyes, to your lips, then back again. his cheeks flushed a hint of pink in embarrassment, but, judging by your lack of a negative reaction, you don’t seem to mind his confession one bit.

“do you fantasize about me? about what i’d do to you?”

he nods, unable to speak as you drag your nails over the imprint of his cock. he was incredibly hard, you noticed, his cock practically begging to be let out from the confines of his jeans. you trail your fingers up to the waistband, slowly undoing the button. you pull the zipper down and eddie feels like his heart is going to burst through his chest. he’s breathing hard, licking his dry lips as he watches you intently.

“in your fantasies, did i ever do this?” you carefully take his cock in your hand, unable to contain the moan that spills past your lips. it’s a lot bigger than what you had anticipated; the head is perfectly shaped, leaking beads of pre-cum from the slit, shaft is thick, slightly curved to the left, with a prominent vein along the underside. the sight, along with the heavy feel of him in your hand, makes your cunt clench around nothing. you brush your thumb over the tip, relishing in the slight twitch from eddie as he gets used to you touching him. you lean over him gathering enough spit in your mouth before dribbling it onto his cock. you start to pump him slowly, from the tip all the way down to the base then back up again, twisting your hand on the upstroke.

eddie watches in awe, soft groans and whines leaving him as you work his cock. he nods, letting out a shaky, “shit, yes.”

getting to actually experience you giving him a handjob was so much better than any fantasy he ever had. you were perfect, knew just the right amount of pressure to squeeze his cock and where to put most of your attention to. his head tilted back as your other hand moved to cup his heavy balls, moaning hotly.

“i thought so,” you said with a smirk. you gently squeezed the tip on the upstroke, mewling as pre-cum gushed from the slit. “can i tell you a secret?”

he flicks his gaze to you, plump lips slightly parted. “w-what is it?”

“i fantasize about you, too,” you confessed. “fuck myself with my pretty pink dildo every night and imagine it’s you.”

there’s no way any of this is real. you? masturbating while thinking about him? an image of you with your legs spread wide, thrusting the dildo deep inside your little cunt flashed in his mind. 

“fuuck…y/n,” he groaned, rutting up against your hand.

you leaned into him, your lips ghosting along the outer shell of his ear. “do you wanna fuck me eddie?” you whispered and he shivered against you.

“yeah,” he nodded. “god, i wanna fuck you so bad, baby, please.”

“good…because i can’t go another second without you being inside of me.” 

you smashed your lips against eddie’s, releasing some of the pent up sexual tension you had been feeling. his lips moved seamlessly with yours, like the two of you had done this a thousand times over. eddie brought the hand that wasn’t on your thigh to cup your cheek, gently brushing his thumb across your soft skin. it was a stark contrast to the way the two of you were kissing, but it made your head spin all the same. you pulled back, about to lift your leg over eddie’s lap when he stopped you.

“wait,” he breathed, peering up at you through the strands of hair that fell over his eyes. “i know we’re just friends, but—”

“just friends?!” you interrupted him. “do your friends make you feel hot and bothered like this? do they make you moan like this?”

“n-no,” he shook his head, his brown eyes never leaving your gaze.

“didn’t think so,” you said with a slight smirk. “i know my friends sure as fuck don’t make me wet like this. don’t make me so goddamn horny i can’t even think stra—”

in a swift motion, eddie flipped you onto your back, his hand delving between your legs to rub his fingers along your clothed cunt. “you’re right,” he said with a devilish smirk as he pushed against the wet spot on your lacy panties. “i think we’re well past the point of being just friends.”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things x reader #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction

[senualothbrok]

I write fics about Baldur's Gate 3

I mainly write about Gale. I write angst, hurt/comfort, romance and smut (Gale x Tav/OC/reader). I often write about heavier issues like trauma, mental illness, and grief.

You can find a list of my work and other misc stuff below the cut. You can also find me on AO3.

I really hope you enjoy my work and blog. I'd love to hear from you with any comments, feedback, random thoughts, or fic requests, so don't be a stranger!

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Enough (Non-18+. Astarion x female Tav. Angst. Trauma and recovery.) AO3 link

You agreed to help Astarion with the Rite of Profane Ascension, but you can't watch him go through with it. You interrupt the ritual, and Astarion turns on you. Now, you must deal with the aftermath of your actions.

Love and Beauty (Non-18+. Non-ascended Astarion x female Tav. References to bereavement.) AO3 link

A few days after Astarion has taken you to his grave, you are lying in bed together. You decide it's time to make a confession.

Rest (Non-18+. Gale x female Tav. Hurt/comfort.) AO3 link

You have defeated the Netherbrain and survived. But when Gale asks you to marry him, you find that you cannot accept his offer.

Content (Non-18+. Gale x Tav. Mild hurt/comfort. Fluff.) AO3 link

After the reunion party, Gale wonders whether you regret choosing him over Astarion.

Prayer (Non-18+. God!Gale. Gale x Tav. Heavy angst. Grief/mourning.) AO3 link

The God of Ambition has returned to Elysium, and you did not follow him. You grieve for Gale, and you struggle to move on with your life.

A Show of Love (18+. NSFW. Gale x female reader/Tav. Smut.) AO3 link

Sometimes, Gale doesn't seem sure how much you love him. So you decide to show him.

Words (18+. NSFW. Gale x female reader/Tav. Smut.) AO3 link

At your home in Waterdeep, you and Gale recall the early stages of your relationship.

Progress (Non-18+. Professor Gale x female OC. Angst. Mental illness and recovery.) AO3 link

When you start your studies at Blackstaff Academy, you expect a battle with your demons. But the last thing you expect is to fall in love.

Promise (Non 18+. Professor Gale x female OC. Angst with a happy ending. Mental illness and recovery.) AO3 link

Gale learns what it means to love and be loved. Sequel to Progress.

A Brush With Danger (Non 18+. Gale x female Tav.)

Anon prompt: Gale's thoughts and feelings before his infamous declaration in the Shadow-Cursed Lands.

Unexpected (18+. NSFW. Professor Gale x female reader/Tav. Smut.) AO3 link

You pay Gale an unexpected visit after one of his classes.

Absolution (Non-18+. God!Gale. Gale x Tav. Angst.) AO3 link

The God of Ambition considers the last of his attachments. Sequel to Prayer.

The Difference (Non-18+. AU (isekai). Gale x female Tav/OC. Angst. Hurt/comfort. Mental health issues.) Multichapter. AO3 link

When a portal appears in your living room and Gale Dekarios tumbles out of it, you think you are going insane. But truth is stranger than fiction, and things are rarely what they seem.

Mortal pleasures (18+. NSFW. Smut. Gale x female Tav/reader.) AO3 link

Gale has shown you how gods bond in the astral. Now, you show him how good mortal pleasures can be.

---------------

I occasionally make Gale-related memes because I think I'm funny 💀

More about me

Senua - 35/F - she/her

This post is a pretty good description of who I am!

I also love animals (esp dogs/cats/horses), tattoos, the Viking age, and existentialism.

Memes

The inside of my brain

When your soul mate is a pixel man

Smooching Gale - the struggle

Gale porn is therapeutic

Fic vs therapy

Other things

* My dear friend @dolceaspidenera made some wonderful gifsets of Gale x Aurora from Progress and Promise. They are so beautiful, I still haven't recovered from them.

* Lovely @mahiiimahiiii made a beautiful piece of art inspired by The Difference, which overwhelms me with so many feels.

* My beloved bestie @practicallydeadinside-blog gifted me a cameo from national treasure Tim Downie explaining why Gale is so shredded and it changed my life.

She has also blessed me with:

- a comic strip of Words which has destroyed my ovaries and impaired my cognitive functions.

- a phenomenal drawing of Mia from The Difference.

* I commissioned one of my favourite artists @demiesop to draw Gale and Mia from The Difference, and she truly delivered.

#baldurs gate 3 fanfiction #bg3 fanfiction #gale fic #astarion fic #bg3 gale fic #bg3 gale smut #gale smut

[alwaysonthemend]

Author's Note: I got a request about 10 million years ago for a fluffy Jake fic where he teaches you how to swim. I loved this prompt so much and I am SO SO SO SO SORRY it took this long. Like it’s embarrassing how long this took. I doubt the wait was worth it at this point but hey at least I actually posted it eventually lol. This has no smut which is very not like me but this Jake was just too sweet for it. I can't write Jake smut without it being filthy. Anyways, all mistakes are my own!

Warnings: Just fluff and cussing. Also Jake is adorable. 

Word Count: 3984

-------------------------

“Fuck!” 

You snapped your eyes up from your book just in time to see Jake go sailing off Daniel’s shoulders and into the waves, shouting expletives even after he hit the water. You can’t help but to smile as you take in the sight before you – Josh, sitting triumphantly atop Sam’s shoulders, sporting a shit-eating grin, Sam wearing an equally smug smile of his own, and Danny giggling as Jake resurfaces from underneath the waves. 

They’ve been playing chicken for what feels like hours – far longer than any grown men should be playing such a game but they’re enjoying themselves so you can’t really fault them. They’ve more than earned some time off with how crazy tour life has been. 

“I’m done with this shit.” Jake exclaims, trudging his way up from the water and onto the shore where you’ve been sitting. 

“You’re only saying that because you keep losing!!’ Sam calls after him, unceremoniously dumping Josh off his shoulders and into the water before following Jake out as well. 

“You fucker.” You hear Josh yell and you giggle at the scowl he shoots in Sam’s direction. 

Shaking your head, you close your book and look up to see Jake standing before you in all his glory. You allow yourself to drink in his form – his tanned skin looks almost golden in the afternoon light and the smile he’s giving you is downright radiant. His expression is shy and so very soft as he looks down at you. 

“Hi.” You say, smiling back up at him. Your relationship with Jake is still in its early stages – the both of you wildly in love with each other but still figuring out how to express it without feeling hopelessly awkward.

“Hi, angel.” He answers, extending both of his hands towards you. 

You grab hold of them and allow him to pull you upwards and into him, and your belly erupts in butterflies as he presses a soft kiss to your lips. 

“You taste like salt.” You say, grinning at him as you pull away. 

“I wonder why.” 

You nudge his shoulder playfully and pull yourself away from him, turning to look at the other three boys as they make it to your spot. 

“I can’t believe we’re at the beach and you haven’t even gotten in the water, Y/n.” Sam says, shaking his head at you as he grabs his towel to dry off. “That’s literally the point of coming to the beach.” 

You freeze for a second as you stoop down to grab your book before smoothing over your expression and plastering a smile over your face. 

“Maybe I just don’t want to get in the water with you all.” You tell him, turning away as you speak in the hopes that he doesn’t catch the lie. “I’d end up getting hurt with how rough you guys play.” 

“Or maybe she has a secret fear of getting wet.” Danny supplies, grabbing his own towel and scrunching up his curls to help dry them. 

“That’s why she’s dating Jake.” Josh says through a laugh before shaking his head like a dog and spraying the rest of you with droplets of saltwater. 

You turn away from him, trying and failing to protect your book from the water. 

“Oops.” He shrugs and gives you a sideways smile – the one he always gives when he knows he’s being a shit. 

“Fuck off.” Jake snarks back, shooting Josh the bird and turning to look at you for help. 

You laugh lightly, amused despite yourself at Josh’s ability to come up with a joke without missing a beat – and slightly thankful that he’s managed to effectively turn the conversation away from you and your lack of swimming. 

“Don’t worry, babe. You get me plenty wet.” You assure your boyfriend, lacing your fingers with his. 

Jake’s cheeks flush a bright red and he mumbles out a small, sheepish “thank you.” 

“Blech. Gross.” Sam says, breezing past the both of you to walk back towards the beach house that you all had rented. 

“Ready?” You ask, turning back to look at Jake. 

He nods at you and the rest of you begin to follow Sam back to the house. 

Jake falls into step beside you, allowing Josh and Danny to walk in front of the two of you. You walk at a slower pace, falling much farther behind the rest of the group. He’s still holding your hand and the feeling of his fingers interlaced with yours makes your heart flutter. 

“You know I wouldn’t let any of them hurt you or anything, right?” Jake asks, voice soft and too quiet for the others to hear. 

“Huh?” 

“In the water, I mean. You said you didn’t want to swim because of how rough we are.” He clarifies, jerking his head back towards the beach. “If you want to swim, I wouldn’t let them bug you or anything. Or we could come back tomorrow without them.” 

You’re silent for a moment, wracking your brains to try and come up with a response. Even after being able to officially call him yours for a few months now, his sweetness still manages to take you off guard sometimes. “Thank you, Jake. I know you wouldn’t let anything happen.” You finally settle on, giving him a smile. 

“Do you want to, then? We could come back tomorrow and just swim around – just me and you?” He’s looking at you all hopeful, and a sudden flash of guilt slices through you. You know how much he loves being at the beach and there isn’t a doubt in your mind that he would adore swimming with just the two of you. 

“Maybe. I was actually thinking of going into town for some shopping tomorrow, though.” You say, praying that your answer doesn’t disappoint him. 

“Oh.” He says, the glimmer in his eyes fading a little bit. “Okay. Maybe another time then.” 

Fuck. 

You open your mouth to invite him to come with you into town instead but you’re interrupted by Sam yelling from the deck of the beach house. 

“Would you two hurry the fuck up! I’m hungry!” 

“Coming, Samuel. Don’t get your panties in a twist.” Jake calls back, extracting his fingers from yours and jogging up the wooden steps onto the deck, leaving you with nothing but an intense feeling of guilt and shame. 

Slowly, you trudge your way up the stairs behind him, signing heavily at yourself. 

-⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️-

Dinner was proving to be  a loud affair – alcohol and good food making the boys even louder than they usually are (which really is saying something). Jake cooked, looking positively gorgeous as he flipped burgers on the grill. 

“That smells so fucking good.” Danny practically moaned, taking a seat in one of the patio chairs. 

“Course it does, Danny.” Jake grinned at him, face cocky and cheeks flushed from being out in the sun for so long. “I’m the meat man.” 

Sam let out a loud cackle, shaking his head into his drink. 

“I don’t think that means what you think it means, brother.” Josh tells him, amusement flickering over his face. 

Jake furrows his brows in confusion at him before turning to look at you for support. 

Grinning, you just shake your head at him. 

“Definitely not what you think it means, babe.” 

Once the burgers were finished (Jake had begrudgingly grilled a vegan burger for Sam with only a few protests), the five of you all decided to retire – all of the boys exhausted from their earlier antics down at the  beach. As you all said your goodnights, you couldn’t help but notice that Jake seemed a lot more reserved than he had before your earlier conversation. You knew him well enough to know that something was off with him. Though he would never say it, his feelings were definitely a little hurt after you’d declined going down to the beach with him. You know that sooner or later you’ll have to either fess up the truth or come up with a more convincing excuse. 

Once you make it to your room, you turn to see Jake gathering his things to go and take a shower. Without thinking – afraid of letting him leave with his feelings still hurt, you blurt out his name. 

“Yeah?” He says, looking up from his suitcase. 

“I-” You purse your lips, frustrated at yourself for saying something before you’d been able to come up with an excuse, 

“Is everything okay, angel?” 

You just shake your head, anxiety making the back of your neck feel hot. 

“If this is about not wanting to go down to the beach tomorrow, it’s okay.” He says simply, shrugging his shoulders and shooting you a sideways smile. “I can find something to do on my own.” He turns his back to you, making his way towards the bedroom door. 

“Jake, stop!” You call – louder than you meant to. 

Jake turns back to you, confusion evident on his face at your raised voice. 

“It’s not that I don’t want to.” You start, and you can feel your cheeks growing hot as your emotions start to get the better of you. You know it’s silly to be so upset – but you’re torn between hurting Jake’s feelings or revealing something that you never wanted to reveal. 

“Y/n,” Jake starts, placing his things on the dresser and crossing the room to stand in front of you. “I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to say here. But I promise you it’s okay that you want to do something else.” He assures you, placing his hands on your shoulders and squeezing lightly. 

“I do wanna go!” You insist, clenching your fists in frustration at yourself. “It’s just..”  

He raises an eyebrow at you, silently begging you to keep going. Ducking your head to look at your feet rather than at him, you allow your confession to slip past your lips. 

“I don’t know how to swim.”  

“What?”  

You flinch slightly, waves of embarrassment washing over you at the incredulity in his tone. 

“You don’t know how to swim?” He says, before giggling softly under his breath. 

“It’s not funny.” You say, finally turning up to look at him. You can feel tears threatening to fall and your bottom lip quivers as you fight to hold them back. 

“Hey, hey. No.” Jake slides his hands from your shoulders to your waist, holding you softly. “I’m not laughing at you, angel. I’m just laughing because I thought something was really wrong.”

His words do little to soothe your shame and you shake your head and try to pull away from him – but his grip on your waist only tightens. 

“Let me go.” You say petulantly, wanting nothing more than to go and sit alone somewhere in your misery.

“No.” 

“Jake…” You warn, dropping your shoulders in defeat. “Please let me go.” 

“Why?” 

“So I can go suffer in peace.” 

He chuckles again, sweet and genuine, and you can’t help the smile that wants to grace your lips at the sound. 

Jake lets go of your waist but his gaze pins you to the spot for a moment, He’s not looking at you any different than he usually does – only a small bit of amusement lingering on his face. 

“You could have told me that a whole lot sooner, ya know?” 

You shake your head. 

“It’s embarrassing. I mean, who else my age doesn’t know how to swim, Jake?” 

“Plenty of people!” Jake says, walking away from you to take a seat on the edge of the bed. He leans backwards, using his arms to brace himself as he leans back. Despite the situation, your eyes still roam his beautiful form – admiring the golden tan of his skin and the way his hair falls across his shoulders. 

“Swimming can be intimidating. That’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” 

You sigh heavily, looking away from him to stare at the wall. You’re not entirely sure what to say and the room lapses into silence for a moment. 

“I could teach you.” 

Your eyes snap back to him at that, eyeing him warily as he looks at you hopefully. 

“What?” 

“I could teach you to swim.” He continues, rising from his place to meet you in the middle of the room. “This house has a pool. The rest of the guys are probably asleep. Just you and me.” “I don’t know…” You trail off, biting your lip as your nerves make themselves known. You’ve put off learning to swim for so long that the fear has begun to fester inside of you – becoming much stronger than it used to be. 

“I won’t make you if you don’t want to. But the offer’s there. I wouldn’t mind.” 

He’s standing in front of you again, hair framing his face and eyes soft. He smells like grill smoke and beach air and you can feel your resolve melting away by the second. 

“Okay.” You breathe out, glancing up at him again. 

A sweet smile spreads across his face, exposing his perfectly white teeth and making his eyes crinkle in the corners. 

“Come on, then!” He exclaims excitedly, grabbing a towel from his back and practically skipping to the bedroom door. 

“Now?” You ask, heart beginning to pound at just the thought. You were hoping you’d have a bit more time to mentally prepare. 

“The guys are asleep.” He starts kindly, lacing his fingers with yours and pulling you out of the bedroom. “It’ll literally just be you and me – no chance of any of them coming out to the pool at this hour.” 

You follow him down the stairs, shivering slightly as your bare feet hit the cold tile of the kitchen. Jake pulls open the sliding door for you with a smile, allowing you to step out onto the patio where you all had eaten dinner. The deck wraps around the side of the house and the pool lies in waiting to your right – dark and ominous as the reality of what you’ve agreed to do washes over you. 

“Jake…” You start, the dark water in the pool filling you with dread. 

“Oh shoot. Hold on.” Jake mutters, before scampering back inside. 

You furrow your brows in confusion before the pool is suddenly illuminated, the little lights on the walls coming to life beneath the water. 

“Figured doing it in the dark probably isn’t the best place to start.” Jake chuckles, walking back outside to come and stand next to you. He dumps his towel onto the deck before rounding the corner of the pool to the stairs. You watch as he walks down the steps and into the water, hissing slightly as his lower half becomes submerged.

“It’s a little cold.” He says with a sideways smile, fanning his hands out in the water on either side of him. The water on that end doesn’t look too deep, but you can’t help but eye the other end – clearly deeper than the side Jake is in. “Coming?” 

You nod, walking slowly over to the steps. You look into the water, clutching both of your hands closely to your chest. You take a step in and immediately the cold makes you want to pull your foot out. But you keep going, wading into the pool to stand next to Jake. 

Immediately, both his hands extend in the water to place two solid hands on your waist. 

“Hi.” He says with a smile, inclining his head at you slightly. “Not bad so far, right?” 

You shake your head slightly. 

“This isn’t the scary part.” You remind him, before nodding your head towards the deeper end of the pool. 

“Fair enough.” Jake affirms, gripping your hips a little tighter. “Put your hands on my shoulders and just hold on, okay?” 

You comply, placing your hands where he told you too. Slowly, Jake leads you both out towards the middle of the pool, only stopping when the water reaches up to your chest. 

“Damn.” Jake says with a grin. “Really holding on tight there, angel.” 

“Sorry.” You say, realizing how your fingertips had been digging into his shoulders. 

Jake giggles softly. 

“It’s okay.” He lets go of your waist and brings his hands up to grab your wrists, holding tightly to you as he bobs up and down slightly in the water. 

“What now?” You ask, trying to keep your heart rate steady. You glance downwards, eyeing the water warily. 

“Keep holding on to my shoulders and I want you to just let your legs relax.” He tells you, adjusting his grip on your wrists. “Just let them float up to the surface.”

You stare at him for a moment, unsure of yourself. 

“I’ve got you.” He assures you, smiling softly. 

Slowly, you allow your body to untense, relaxing your muscles and letting your body float in the water. Keeping your grip on his shoulders, your legs slowly start to float up towards the surface. 

“There ya go.” He grins. “Perfect. Now kick your feet.” 

You kick your feet half-heartedly in the water, barely causing a splash. 

“Harder.” Jake tells you. “Break the surface as much as you can. Sort of like you’re kicking downwards.”

You kick your legs harder, causing the water to splash upwards and spray the both of you. 

“Oops.” You laugh, the sound coming out breathy from your nerves. 

Both Jake’s hair and your own is now sopping wet – and you’re distracted for a moment by the sight of him. His hair sticks to the side of his face and neck, and you watch, entranced, as a single drop of water makes its way down his cheek and slides down his plush lips. 

“That was perfect.” Jake says with a smile, amusement flashing across his face after catching you staring. “Now you just gotta use your arms.”

Your eyes widen slightly. 

“So I’ve gotta let go of you, then?” You ask, trying to joke but there’s no real humor in it. 

Jake laughs anyway. 

“That would make it easier, yeah. I won’t let you drown. I promise.” 

“Thanks, babe.” You say, a hint of sarcasm sneaking into your tone. “Why did I let you talk me into this?” 

“Because you love me.” He says cheekily. 

You roll your eyes in response. 

“When you let go, I want you to keep kicking your feet under the water. Think about your arms going up and down, too. Kind of like a bird.”

“Like a bird?” You ask doubtfully, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I mean… kinda. Just move them up and down.”

You grumble at him, but slowly let go of his shoulders. He hovers his hands on your waist, helping to keep you afloat as you try and practice the motion. 

“I hate this. This is so stupid.” You mutter, feeling like you’ve never been more out of your element in your life. 

“That’s the spirit, babe.” 

You scowl.

“I’m gonna let go now and you just keep doing what you're doing.”

“What?” You squeak, snapping your gaze to meet his. “Don’t let go!” 

“You’ve got this!” He grins, extracting his grip from your waist. 

You flail in the water for a moment, arms and legs flapping and kicking around wildly. Eventually, the panic wears off and you calm your movements down, allowing your limbs to move more fluidly in the water. 

“Babe!” Jake grins, grinning from ear to ear. “You’re doing it. That’s called treading.” 

You can’t help the proud smile that overtakes your face at his praise and you can feel your cheeks heat slightly. 

Jake swims farther away from you – going more towards the deep end. 

“Swim towards me.” He commands, treading in place. 

“How the fuck am I supposed to do that?” 

“Kick your feet like earlier and tread with your hands. Simple doggy paddle. Right towards me.”

“Absolutely not.” You tell him, perfectly content to keep treading water where you are. “I’d rather not drown, thanks.”

“Y/n,” Jake starts, sounding like a father speaking to his kid. “Do you really think I’m going to let you drown? You’ve got this. I’m right here.” 

You sigh at him. 

“I hate you.” 

“No you don’t.” He says kindly. “Now come over here.” 

Begrudgingly, you do as he says – kicking your feet aggressively behind you as you paddle with your hands. Slowly but surely, you make your way over to him. 

As soon as you get close, Jake darts his hands out and grabs your shoulders – helping you to float next to him. 

“See?” He asks with a grin, eyes sparkling in the dim light, “Not so bad.” 

“I still don’t like this.” You mutter, mind half focused still on trying to tread the water next to him. 

Slowly, Jake lets go of your shoulders and the two of you just float in the middle of the pool for a moment.  

“You’ll get better at it.” He assures. 

Just then, you hear a car horn honk in the distance, drawing your attention away from Jake and towards where the sound came from. Seeing nothing, you look back towards your boyfriend only to be met with a face full of chlorine as he splashes you. 

“Jake!” You sputter, blinking your eyes to try and clear the water from them. “You fuck head!” 

“Oops.” He giggles – the sound so reminiscent of Josh it’s almost like his twin just came down and possessed him for a moment. Sometimes you forget that they’re twins until you’re so starkly reminded. 

“What?” 

Your bewilderment must have shown on your face. 

“Nothing.” You smile at him. “You just sounded exactly like Josh when you did that.”

“Ugh.” He groans, rolling his eyes and swimming away from you slightly. “Don’t tell me I remind you of that loser.”

“Jake, you’re twins. You two are so simila-” You’re cut off once again by a face full of water. 

“Those are fighting words, Y/n!” Jake says through a laugh, swimming farther into the pool. 

“Come back here, you ass!” You paddle your way towards him, muscles straining to try and keep up with him. 

“No!” He giggles, stopping for a moment to splash you again. 

This time, you see it coming and splash him first, causing him to sputter and cough as the water fills his mouth. 

The two of you descend into laughter as Jake swims away from you again, using his legs to kick water at you. You give chase, splashing him as well as you pursue him. 

Eventually too winded to continue, you give up your chase of him and just tread the water again, laughing breathlessly. Jake swims back over to you, his own laughter sounding like music to your ears. 

“Does this mean I win?” He asks you, pressing his lips to yours in a kiss. All you taste is chlorine, but the warmth of his lips pressing to yours fills you with butterflies. 

“Nah. Just taking a break for a second.” 

Jake’s eyes are pinned to yours, a strange expression spreading over his face. It’s sweet and loving… but there’s something else there too. Pride? 

“What?” 

He shakes his head at you. 

“You learned how to swim.” 

“Oh.” You say on an exhale, glancing around to realize that the two of you have come to a stop in the deep end of the pool – the very place that you’d been so afraid of not an hour before. “I guess I did.” 

“I’m the best fucking teacher ever.” He says, grinning proudly at you and puffing out his chest.

You roll your eyes but you can’t really argue. You are swimming, all thanks to him and his willingness to be patient and to distract you from your nerves. You realize now that the whole water fight had just been to get you out of your head – something that he’s always been remarkably good at. 

“Thank you, Jake.” 

“Anytime, sweetheart.”

----------

If you're reading this, I love you! 💞

Taglist:

@ignite-my-fire

@demolitionndann

@brujamagik

@mybussyinchrist

@writingcold

@way-to-go-lad

@sinsofstardust

@jjwasneverhere

@ohgodthefeeling-gvf

@wildbluesorbit

@twistedmelodies

@neverwanttofallasleep

Let me know if you'd like to be added to/removed from my taglist!

#dee's writing #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka fanfiction #jake kiszka fluff

[spacebarbarianweird]

Hi!! I love your headcanons, especially the last one you posted of a Monk!Tav! If it's okay, would you be willing to write headcanons about a Tav with chronic pain? My idea was of a Tav who uses forearm crutches due to chronic pain, but still learns to fight and/or cast spells and such despite this. I use crutches myself but I still practice capoeira (it's actually not as difficult as I though it'd be, surprisingly!), so I always wondered how Astarion would feel about a character like that.

Also I'd really like to read about Astarion navigating physical intimacy with someone who can't do certain things (stay too long in one position, move in certain ways when back/legs/hips hurt, etc) because of the chronic pain, if you'd like to add that in.

I love this prompt! Because it requires me to do research. 

Let me know if I wrote something wrong.

Astarion x Tav With Chronic Pain

Masterlist

Headcanons

Many years ago, you were severely hurt.

It was the dark magic, the necrotic damage.

So painful and disgusting, you were blessed to be unconscious.

You recovered. Thanks to the healing potions.

Wounds healed. Bones mended.

But the pain remained.

It follows you like a shadow, like a ghost, like an intrusive thought.

Sometimes, you forget about it.

But it reminds of itself when you least expect it.

You've tried to heal it, but as with any sickness bestowed by dark magic, it will never fully go.

Sometimes, it is so bad you have to use crutches because you almost can't move.

The tadpole, though, suppresses it, and you forget that you ever had this chronic pain.

It returns the moment you are free.

The pain is so unbearable you want to cut your arms off.

You barely manage to get into the inn, and you stay there in the fetal position.

Unable to move a finger.

Soon after sunset, you hear familiar steps and the familiar weight on the bed.

"What is it, my sweet?" he playfully asks, only to see you are in pain.

Maybe he has witnessed this condition before or it is just too familiar, but Astarion immediately recognized it.

He brings you water to drink and then a medicinal ointment he'd probably stolen.

"Sit up," he orders and starts massaging your hands, rubbing the ointment into the skin.

It prickles, but the feeling is nice.

Then he does the same with your legs and back.

You felt like a doll in his hands, but you didn't mind.

Then, he brought you food and fed you with a spoon.

You feel relaxed and sleepy. The pain is still there, but it's not that bad.

Astarion hesitates to lie beside you, but you manage to find the way you both feel comfortable.

You keep being adventurers, but it has its complications.

Sometimes you just can't move. Sometimes, you need crutches (and for these periods you always stay somewhere safe). Astarion is always ready to carry you in his hands, but sometimes you prefer not to be touched.

Which he understands perfectly. He has his times when he doesn't want to be touched.

From time to time, you are in such pain you cry, and Astarion stays with you until it gets better.

You know a thousand ways to help him with his nightmares and traumas.

He knows a thousand ways to ease your pain.

You are each other's burdens, but together it's much easier to go through the night.

--

Tag list

@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati @lynnlovesthestars @marina-and-the-memes @waking-electric @ayselluna @connorsui @asterordinary

#astarion #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 astarion #astarion romance #bg3 #astarion bg3 #astarion headcanon #baldurs gate 3 #astarion headcanons #astarion x tav #tav x astarion #spacebarbarian headcanon #astarion x reader #baldurs gate astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion baldurs gate #astarion brainrot #astarion fanfiction #astarion imagine #astarion hurt #disabled tav #chronic pain

[silenzahra]

🥰 for the writing prompt? Writer's choice!

Referring to this post ✨

This fic was loooong overdue! I am really sorry to have kept you waiting for so long, but I hope it was worth the wait! 🙏

Thank you sooooo much for sending me this prompt! It has truly melted my heart to work on this idea 🥺 I really hope you like it! 💖

Are you ready for some brotherly fluff? 🤭💚❤️

Here's the link to AO3 in case you'd rather read it there! ✨

Wordless Love

When Luigi arrives home, Mario still hasn't returned.

Luigi sighs and closes the door behind him. The pipes in the castle really must be clogged. He wonders if he should come to his brother's aid, but he knows that, if Mario needed his help, he would have called him.

Besides, this gives Mario and Peach a chance to spend some more time together.

With a somewhat amused smile, Luigi leaves the toolbox on the entrance cabinet and hangs his hat on the rack. He's feeling very tired after a long day of single-handedly serving his Brooklyn clients, and all he feels like doing is taking a shower, grabbing a quick dinner, and going to bed.

But he can't go to sleep without Mario. Even though he knows his big brother is safe and sound in Princess Peach's castle, Luigi needs Mario to, at least, be home so he can fall asleep.

So he heads to the bathroom and takes a fast, but warm and relaxing shower. When he finishes, and since Mario isn’t home yet, Luigi opts to leave everything ready to make dinner later and goes out into the garden.

It's cool, as autumn is coming to the Mushroom Kingdom, but that doesn't stop him. Luigi smiles as he walks through his small garden, the one he has cultivated with so much care and attention since he and Mario moved there. He looks closely at each plant, each flower, and makes sure to irrigate the ones that need some water. He talks to each and every one of them, tells them how beautiful they are that night, and quietly sings a little song during his walk. He also makes sure to check that the automatic watering system he installed with Mario's help is still working perfectly, and smiles to himself, satisfied, after verifying that it is.

These flowers, this garden, are his pride and joy. Every day he’s more and more happy for the good fortune of having a small corner in which to raise his favorite flowers. When he lived in Brooklyn he had to make do with a couple of flowerpots, but, in the Mushroom Kingdom, there’s room for all the plants in the world. So, without a second thought, Luigi transplanted his first two flowers and, since then, he’s grown many more.

And now his beloved garden looks beautiful in broad daylight as well as under the faint, bright glow of the full moon. Each flower has a particular beauty and scent, and Luigi has learned to recognize each one by its fragrance before he even sees them.

When he re-enters the house, he realizes that he has spent a whole hour outside, walking among his plants and singing to them. However, just as he closes the garden door behind him, the front door, which is opposite him on the other side of the living room, opens at last.

“Mario!” he exclaims as soon as he sees him enter, and runs towards him. “You’re back!”

Before his brother has time to drop his tools or close the door behind him, Luigi pounces on him. Mario lets out a loud laugh of surprise and staggers back a little at his impetus but does not hesitate to return his brother's embrace with the same heartiness.

“Yeah, I’m back,” he mumbles, laughing, as he pats Luigi’s back.

They smile at each other as they part, happy to be together again. Luigi takes Mario’s hat from him and hangs it on the rack next to his.

“Looks like there was a lot of work at the castle today, right?” he says meanwhile.

“Oh, you just can’t imagine!” Mario exclaims, dropping his tools any which way on the entrance cabinet. “I think we’d better go together next time. We’ll simply postpone all the appointments we have with our Brooklyn customers.”

Smiling, Luigi carefully sets each tool in its place inside the toolbox he’s been carrying all day.

“I thought about coming to help you,” he admits, “but I didn’t know if you’d be... busy.”

He wonders if Mario will understand what he’s referring to, if he'll catch the hidden meaning beneath that one word, but he senses he'll have to keep that joke to himself.

“Busy?” Mario looks at him with a raised eyebrow, confused. “What do you mean by that?”

Luigi lets out a low chuckle as he places the last tool.

“It’s nothing, don’t mind me,” he says, amused, and grabs Mario’s hand to lead him to the kitchen. “Come on! Are you hungry? How about I make you a lasagna?”

“Lasagna?” Mario repeats, his face suddenly lighting up like a lighthouse in the middle of the darkest night. “But of course! What kind of question is that?”

Luigi lets out a chuckle, cheerful and touched in equal parts. His brother will never change, and Luigi adores him more and more every day for that.

Amid jokes and laughter, the brothers enter the kitchen. Luigi, after putting on his green apron with a pattern of orange flowers, starts cooking immediately, and Mario, instead of sitting down, stands next to him and passes him the ingredients and utensils needed to prepare the lasagna. In the meantime, he tells Luigi how his day has been, as they separated in the morning to go to work in different places, and explains how difficult it was to unblock all the pipes in the castle. Then, always ready to listen to him, Mario asks Luigi how his day has been, but Luigi, more focused on the cooking, shrugs and quickly summarizes what has been a very normal working day for him.

“And how’s Peach?” he asks casually as they wait for the lasagna to be ready. “How did things go with her?”

“Just as usual.” This time it’s Mario who shrugs, but Luigi doesn’t fail to notice that a slight blush is now covering his brother’s cheeks. “You know her. She’s very... kind and sweet. Just as usual,” he repeats, looking away.  

Luigi covers his mouth with his hand to hide a giggle. He would love to hear more, to encourage Mario to tell him more about those feelings that have undoubtedly blossomed in his heart after meeting the beautiful princess, but Luigi doesn't insist. He knows his brother so well that he’s convinced he will open up when the time comes, when he feels ready, and Luigi wouldn't want to pressure him for anything in the world.

It doesn't take long for the lasagna to be ready at last. As he does every night, Luigi serves his brother first, and smiles at the keenness with which Mario takes the first bite. As he sits down, his plate already full, he notices his brother's satisfied expression, and the soft "Mmm!" Mario emits as he chews causes Luigi’s smile to widen.

“My goodness, Luigi,” Mario exclaims admiringly. “Your cooking gets better every day!”

Luigi blushes and laughs nervously.

“Th-thank you,” he stammers, embarrassed, before starting to eat too.

During dinner, however, Luigi realizes something that makes him uneasy: his brother is tired. More than him, even. Luigi knows this because Mario, who usually talks non-stop between bites, remains silent this time, just centered on savoring the lasagna, a clear indication that his energy has diminished considerably since he came back home. Luigi sees it in his eyelids, which appear somewhat droopy, no doubt exhausted and eager to close until the next day. Luigi senses it in the slowness with which Mario gradually puts the food into his mouth. Still, every time their eyes meet, Mario gives him warm smiles and makes sure to keep telling him how delicious he finds the lasagna.

Luigi loves to cook and always feels flattered that his brother so enthusiastically enjoys the dishes he lovingly prepares for him.

But tonight there is something more important.

Tonight is not just about having dinner with Mario and spending some quality time with him before going to bed, but also about taking care of his exhausted older brother.

“Come on,” he says as he gets up, once they’ve both finished dessert. “How about I run you a hot bath to help you relax?”

Mario smiles, and his grin, although full of affection as always, is also a true reflection of the fatigue that plagues him from within.

“I’d love that, Lu.”

Determined, Luigi begins to pick up the dishes, but, when he’s about to start washing them, meaning to do it quickly so that he can take care of Mario, he senses some fingers on his shoulder that make him turn around. He meets again his brother’s sweet smile, who reaches out his other hand to take the plate that Luigi had grabbed.

“I’ll wash them,” Mario offers.

“Oh, no, that’s not necessary,” Luigi refuses, worried that Mario’s tiredness will increase.

“I insist, Lu.” Mario, unwilling to surrender, gives him a gentle and playful hip thrust to softly push him away. “You made dinner. It’s only fair.”

Luigi knows Mario's determined expression too well to know there's no point in trying to stop him. Defeated, he agrees to step away from the kitchen sink with a resigned sigh and watches his brother with a hand on his hip.

“All right, you win,” he concedes, at which Mario’s smile widens. “I’ll go draw your bath.”

Mario nods with a chuckle as he does the dishes, and Luigi takes off his apron, which he had inadvertently left on during dinner, and goes into the bathroom. The first thing he does is close the door and turn on the heater to warm up the room. After putting the plug in the bathtub, he turns on the hot water faucet first and lets the tub fill up a bit before turning on the cold, but not too much. He wants the water to be hot and to last like that long enough for Mario's muscles to relax after today's hard work.

In the meantime, he hangs Mario's bathrobe on the rack next to the tub and places a small towel on a stool in case his brother wants to wash his hair. Luigi also prepares the shampoo, soap and sponge, and puts them on top of the towel so that Mario can reach them from inside the bathtub. He takes the hairdryer out of the cupboard where they keep it and carefully sets it in a corner of the sink, because he knows that Mario does not like to go to bed with wet hair, so he will need it if he decides to wash his head. Luigi quickly leaves the bathroom to go to his bedroom for a moment: he hurriedly opens the top drawer of the dresser they share, takes out Mario's favorite pajamas and returns to the bathroom at lightning speed. He then pours some soothing bath salts into the water and places a towel on the floor, in front of the tub, so that Mario won't slip.

Finally, satisfied with his work, Luigi turns off the faucet, switches off the heater and goes out into the hallway in search of his brother.

“The bath is ready!” he announces with an exaggerated flourish as he enters the kitchen.

Mario laughs, giving him an amused look, and puts the last plate away on the sideboard before following him. Although the bathroom is very close to the kitchen, Luigi guides his brother as if they were inside one of those old mansions with an infinite number of corridors and rooms and opens the door with a graceful bow.

“I hope you find it to your liking, sir,” he says, modifying his voice so that it sounds deep.

Mario lets out a chuckle again but puts his shoulders back and places both hands behind his back as he walks past Luigi into the bathroom.

“Very warm and cozy, butler,” he replies, imitating his brother’s tone.

Luigi, still bent over and with his arm outstretched, is forced to cover his mouth with his other hand to contain the snort that was about to escape from his throat. However, when he straightens up, his laughter is stifled by the tender look, full of gratitude, that Mario, standing in front of him, throws at him.

Then Mario reaches out and wraps an arm around his neck to pull him close, giving him a quick squeeze in which their cheeks squish against the other’s. The moment is so fleeting that Luigi does not have time to raise his arm to reciprocate the gesture of his brother, who, a second before releasing him, turns his head to place a quick kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you, Lu,” he says, his voice full of warmth. “It’s just what I needed.”

Luigi's heart beats a little faster, full of bliss, and a touched smile blooms on his face as the blood rushes to his cheeks. Despite the fact that Mario showers him in affection quite often, Luigi just can’t help blushing. Inside him, tenderness and emotion intermingle with a certain embarrassment that makes him feel bashful, as he does not think he deserves so much gratitude. After all, he’s taking care of his brother in the same way Mario has taken care of him and watched over him all his life. That's how they’ve always worked and that's how they will continue to work.

Still, he keeps smiling at Mario, who watches him with his warm grin tattooed on his face as he slowly slides shut the bathroom door. On impulse, when there’s barely a small crack left, Luigi raises his hand and waves it in farewell, and Mario, with a chuckle, reciprocates his gesture immediately.

Luigi sighs, satisfied, when the door finally closes. He’s sure that the bath will do Mario good, so he goes to his room to give his brother some space and privacy. He really hopes it will be to his liking and help him relax.

Once in his bedroom, Luigi feels as if the autumn chill has crept into it through a window. He makes sure all of them are closed and opts to turn on the radiator to warm up the bedroom a bit, especially to keep Mario from getting cold when he finishes his bath. Luigi goes over to his brother's bed, uncovers it and grabs the pillows to soften them a bit, since that's how Mario feels most comfortable. He turns on both nightlights, Mario's red one and his green one, and looks around to make sure everything is in order.

As he stands in the center of the room, Luigi feels a huge wave of exhaustion wash over him. His day has not been as hard as Mario's, but he certainly needs to rest too, although he knows he can't do so until his brother goes to bed as well. He doesn't want to pressure him or interrupt his bath, so Luigi takes his time to tidy up the room a bit, uncover his own bed and put on his pajamas.

Just as he finishes buttoning the top of his green and white striped pajamas, he suddenly remembers something. He almost forgot! He rushes hurriedly out of his room and into the kitchen. Trying to go slowly so as not to break anything with his usual clumsiness, Luigi pulls a glass from the cupboard, fills it with fresh milk and pops it into the microwave.

He’s walking past the bathroom just as the sound of the hairdryer reaches his ears. Luigi sighs in relief, for he knows what that means: his brother will be out in no more than five minutes, so he will find the glass of hot milk waiting for him on his bedside table, where Luigi carefully places it. Satisfied, he picks up the book waiting on his own nightstand and goes to the living room to sit in his rocking chair, where he plans to read while waiting for Mario.

The book is so interesting that it grabs his attention right away, making him lose track of time. When the bathroom door finally opens, Luigi realizes that he has read ten pages almost without blinking. He smiles to himself, for he's loving the story he's reading, and places the bookmark between the pages before looking up.

As he does so, Luigi lets out a little chuckle: his brother, standing in the doorway, has skin almost redder than his pajama top. Mario, hearing him, smiles with resignation.

“I overdid it with the hot water, didn’t I?” he says with a laugh, heading for the bedroom.

“A little,” Luigi replies, amused, going after him.

This time it is Mario who holds the door for him, and Luigi gives him a nod and a chuckle as he enters the room. Gently and smiling, Mario takes the book from his hands and goes to Luigi's bedside table to leave it there, while Luigi, somewhat surprised, closes the door behind him and walks to his bed as well.

After dropping the book, Mario turns to face him. Luigi stops in front of his brother and wonders if, perhaps, Mario wants to tell him something or ask him for something else before going to sleep.

But his brother doesn't utter a word: with a warm smile on his lips, he raises his arms and wraps them around Luigi, resting his chin on his shoulder and placing a hand on the back of his neck to bring him closer. Despite his initial astonishment, Luigi immediately relaxes in his big brother's arms and, with a smile, lifts his arms to wrap them around Mario's waist as he closes his eyes. His brother, patting his back gently and running his fingers through his hair at the back of his neck, lets out a deep and resounding sigh while still hugging him tightly.

“Thank you for always taking care of me, Lu,” he whispers, his lips close to Luigi’s ear.

“Oh.” Luigi lets out a nervous giggle. “You don’t have to thank me, Mario. That’s what brothers do, right?”

Luigi feels him laugh in his arms.

“I’m certainly lucky to have you as a brother.”

Luigi's heart warms up, overwhelmed by a deep emotion. He feels his eyes moisten and he embraces his brother with more strength and affection, hoping, wishing, that his way of hugging him will be enough to let Mario know that he is the one who feels fortunate to have him as his big brother. If he had nothing else, if he were homeless and jobless and could not find anything to eat every day, he would still feel the luckiest man in the world if he still had Mario by his side. He doesn't need anything else to be happy.

They remain like this, embraced, Luigi's hands on Mario's back and waist, Mario's hands on the back of Luigi's neck and back, for a time they cannot, and will not, determine. Wrapped in a warmth that comes from both the radiator and their own hearts, the brothers enjoy those brief moments of peace and safety in each other's arms, in which, without the need for words, they express how much they love the other and how important they are to each other.

With a sigh, Mario begins to pull away from Luigi, very slowly, as if he doesn't really want to, and Luigi understands, for he too is reluctant to end the contact. His brother slides his hand from the back of his neck to his cheek and watches him intensely, his blue eyes glistening with emotion.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

And Luigi knows, with absolute certainty, that Mario is speaking from the heart, as he always does when he expresses his affection towards him, as deep as Luigi's for him. With a heartfelt smile, Luigi raises a hand and places it on Mario's.

“I will always be here for you,” he promises, looking into his eyes.

With tenderness shining in his, Mario widens his smile and carefully begins to gently press Luigi's head down as he does the same. Luigi, knowing what his brother intends, lets himself be guided without hesitation and closes his eyes for a second before their foreheads meet. The sigh they release, in unison, as if they had rehearsed it, is deep, intense, and reflects all the peace and serenity that this touch makes them both feel.

“And I for you, Lu,” Mario answers in a soft whisper.

When, seconds later, they raise their heads, they give each other one last smile, as full of love as all the smiles they’ve shared since the day they were born. Mario caresses his cheek while Luigi gives him a gentle squeeze on the shoulder, and then he softly gasps when, suddenly, he remembers something.

“I almost forgot,” he says with a chuckle as he walks over to Mario’s bedside table.

He carefully takes the glass of milk in his hands and turns to his brother, who beams enthusiastically as he sees what Luigi is offering him.

“Thank you, Lu!” he exclaims, accepting the glass.

Luigi smiles, moved at the eagerness and speed with which Mario drinks the hot liquid. When he finally finishes it, he lets out a sigh of pleasure and Luigi covers his mouth to hold back a giggle, not only because of his brother's satisfied expression, but also because of the spot that glistens under his moustache. Mario looks at him with a raised eyebrow, though he laughs too, and Luigi reaches over to his nightstand for a napkin to wipe his brother's face. The latter lets him do it and they share a last moment of knowing laughter.

Luigi then takes the glass from his brother's hands and goes to the kitchen to wash it. Before leaving the bedroom, he hears Mario drop like a bundle on the mattress, and when he returns, as he expected, he finds him lying on top of the sheets any which way. With a giggle that is both amused and tender, Luigi comes to his side: he slowly pulls back the sheets from under Mario's body and carefully covers him with them. Mario, eyes closed, smiles and snuggles in, and Luigi gently tucks him in and places a kiss on his cheek.

“Good night, Mario,” he whispers. “Sleep well.”

Mario's smile widens and a deep sigh escapes from his lips. Luigi, hoping that his brother will indeed sleep well that night, gives him a gentle caress on his hair before turning off the radiator and heading, at last, to his own bed.

And just as he is about to turn off his lamp, the last light still on in the room, he hears a sleepy, exhausted voice coming from his brother's bed:

“Good night, Lulu.”

#super mario bros #super mario fanfic #mario #luigi #mario bros #mario fanfic #mario and luigi #cute brothers #brotherly love #please don't tag as ship #PLEASE DON'T SHIP THEM #asks #fanfic asks #ask #writer asks #answered asks #my fics #my fanfics #silenzahra

[milarqui]

Miraculous Ladybug Prompt

I've seen a zillion Miraculous Ladybug prompts around, so I decided to bring up my own.

It begins with the moment where Adrien tells Marinette not to expose Lila and the "high road" thing. However, here he realizes that Lila's lies may not hurt now, but who's to say what she might do in the future? How does he know that it won't get worse?

And, hell, he said he would have Marinette's back. What if he grows a spine and actually supports her?

So, when Marinette is forced to the back? He moves there as well - that way he won't distract Lila with his presence, and she'll be able to focus on the lesson!

If the others shun Marinette? He defends her, says they all know Marinette better than him and he can't believe they're believing Lila over her.

He's there whenever Lila tries to accuse her of anything.

When it becomes clear Lila won't stop lying? He helps Marinette come up with a plan to stop her before someone gets hurt.

Thanks to Adrien's support, Marinette (re)gains self-confidence to stand against Lila, Chloé, and others. She might even stop doing things for free, depending on how bad it gets.

And seeing the real Marinette, Adrien begins to fall for her. And, as he does, he starts to realize that all of his flirting with Ladybug is hurting her. He apologizes to Ladybug and promises to stop - Ladybug replies that she doesn't mind it much, just when he does it in inappropriate moments and/or in inappropriate ways.

He tones it down and keeps it to patrol times or post-purification, and takes the fights more seriously.

Eventually, Marinette gathers her courage and manages to ask Adrien out. Adrien agrees, and discovers that Marinette now stands above Ladybug in his heart - the fact that Ladybug tells him that she's now dating the boy she's in love with helps.

Eventually, they find their secret identities, and Adrien says he should have realized it - both Marinette and Ladybug are wonderful, beautiful girls. The only bad thing is that he wishes he would have fallen for Marinette earlier.

In the meantime, Lila keeps trying to ruin Adrien's relationship. How Gabriel Agreste takes it depends - does he attempt to do that to break Marinette's heart and Akumatize her? Does he decide to leave them together so he can have a pull to bring her into his company?

As for the class, up to you. Maybe they begin as Lila's hoodwinked audience, but Marinette and Adrien manage to wake them up? Or perhaps what the duo does doesn't matter?

BONUS: A scene where, after Bustier tries to make Marinette apologize for something, Marinette asks at which point do the "Chloés/Lilas of the world" get punished.

BONUS 2: Same as above, but instead Marinette does something really hurtful, and when Bustier tries to order her to apologize, Marinette fires back that she's been a good example for long enough - now it's Lila's turn to forgive her! (She may also call Bustier an hypocrite if she tries to apply a double standard)

#miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #marinette deserves better #adrien agreste #adrien deserves better #lila salt #adrienette #marichat #ladynoir #ladrien

[outeremissary]

Balthazar and Tristian - Resting

Releasing this from draft purgatory, where it languished so long it has a note apologizing for a power outage induced delay...

Left to their own devices, both Balthazar and Tristian have terrible habits of staying up absurdly late engrossed in a project or trying to get just one last thing done. For Tristian it's motivated by a guilty sense they aren't doing as much as they need to as often as it's more simply being lost in something or going a little farther than needed trying to be helpful. It's so easy to think that there's just one more thing that can be closed up, or something that can be made a little more ready so no one else has to worry about it. On Balthazar's side it's often driven by the obsessive need to feel like he's in control of whatever he's taken on- he'll keep chipping away at something searching for a breakthrough to satisfy himself. He needs to be sure he's picked a topic clean before moving on. Although he's also just a night person to begin with. Different reasons, but they produce the same effects.

Together they balance each other out (at least a bit)- it's that mutual "it's fine for me to do that, but you have to take care of yourself!" At which point you get the classic back and forth: it's almost done, why are you still up anyway, you should be going to bed, that can wait until tomorrow, I'm almost done with this, on and on. The process of one trying to tear the other away from a project usually requires the compromise of also calling it a day. It's the only way to make sure the other one stays put. Honestly, this probably does wonders for both of them actually getting enough sleep.

And a bonus one because I also kind of think I posted that other one before at some point even though I can't for the life of me find it on my archive blog. Perhaps it's off theme, but I am certain that Tristian is almost always up before Balthazar. It became clear quickly enough that Balthazar tended to fret about waking up alone if Tristian didn't return after getting up. So Tristian started to leave something behind when leaving- some small token, a little thing from the room relocated to the pillow visible and in easy reach. A book from the nightstand. The scarf that had been forgotten on the chair the night before. A trinket from the bookshelf. A somewhat awkward gesture to indicate they haven't just vanished without a thought. As silly as it is, it does reassure Balthazar (though it doesn't deter him from clinging to Tristian in ways that make it a daily challenge to get disentangled getting up).

[prompt]

#it was almost completely finished in there. #ask game #balthazar lucienne #balthazar and tristian

[hypnotisedfireflies]

I wondered if in the Driftverse had either Sarah or Nico (Mike can stay dead) survived, would Joel and Tess connect. From your recent posts I guess yes in the case of Sarah. But, if it had been Nico who survived would Joel want to get involved with a woman with a toddler?

I’m starting to think that you’re all out to get me. 

I’m sleep deprived but I don’t think this paranoia is misplaced??  You are all out to get me with your prompts and your plot bunnies and asks that make things happen in my brain that I can't control and then want to write about. 

The short answer is Joel would get involved with Tess probably a lot earlier (not that they wasted much time) had kids been involved. I'm thinking of this through the lens that Sarah also lives, because let's go full happy here.

I'll bullet point how Drifters might have gone had Nico and Sarah survived:

(Also can I point out the Nico Servopoulos – Nico Parker thing was a coincidence.  I called the kid Nick which I was then like, that’s short for Nicholas, that’s TOO many S’s and so changed it to be short for Nico and then later clicked with the Nico Parker connection.  Funny how these things work out.  ANYWAY).

Tommy, Joel and Sarah eventually come to the Lake Michigan camp – the brothers want to get off the road for Sarah’s sake.  They’re not as hardcore do-it-alone when they’ve got her to protect.  The priority is just finding somewhere safe to be. 

Tommy and Tess don’t meet up as early contacts and the windmill stuff never happens, because Tess isn’t trading.  She’s grounded at the Lake Michigan camp with Nico.

They start to interact with Tess through Sarah.  Tess is struggling.  She had started to find her rhythm with Nico before the Outbreak happened, but that’s all gone out the window. 

I kind of think having Nico is almost an Achilles Heel for Tess rather than a serious motivator as it is for Joel.  Like, she’s already struggled so much to function as a mother and now she has all these other issues to contend with.  When it’s just Tess, she can be as selfish as she needs to be.  But the pressure of looking after someone who she already feels like she’s failing would be such a stressful, frightening situation for her. 

And because she doesn’t trust anyone, she’s not really getting any help and she’s just kind of heading toward some kind of serious crash.

There’s no other kids at the Lake and Sarah, who is in that twilight between childhood and adulthood, starts spending time with Nico and Tess.  Sarah has never been around little kids so she’s not like a star babysitter or anything, but it gives her something to do - and someone to talk to who isn’t an adult who talks over her head and makes decisions for her all the time. 

Joel meets Tess and can tell right away that she’s not coping.  He makes some gentle suggestions to which she is not amenable, but Sarah’s in earshot so she reserves her right to tell him what he can do with his advice. 

Joel would start coming by, helping out.  They’d take Nico sometimes so Tess can just rest.  And he’s just naturally good with kids, right?  Daddering just comes easily to him.

They probably end up in the Chicago QZ with Ash’s group.  They’re not going to risk travelling far with kids.

Thanks for the ask, anon! It’s interesting exploring the Coulda Beens.

And then ... Idk, maybe they never get to Boston.

Or maybe they get to the Appalachian Mountains? There are a few prompts floating around to this effect ...

They'd become a tight family unit. Nico's going to call Joel Dad and Joel would see him as his kid. I've never thought Ellie would call Tess Mum, but maybe Sarah would.

Oh and Tommy probably doesn't leave. He wants to, but Sarah won't let him. 🥺

If Sarah wasn't alive, Joel would still become involved with Tess and provide that support, but it would take longer. She'd get a lot closer to that crash.

#driftersverse #asks

[matchalattegreen]

Hi! I hope you're doing okay, I saw your recent post(s) and hope you your doing better :) If you need help or anyone to talk to if you're not feeling too good, please go talk to family, friend(s), or even vent on internet forums. I love your writing so much and hope you feel better soon !! <3

But anyways, for an ask. I was wondering if you could do headcanons for like Dallas meeting Johnnys older sibling. Which lead to like a romance between Dally and Johnny's older sibling. Like how would it happen and Johnny's reaction, and stuff? Idk just can't get the thought out my head.

Sorry if this is long, just though it would be cute

thank you for all the kind words! i also love that prompt so much so i hope you like this:

Dallas x Johnny's Older Sibling hc's

Dally and Johnny had been friends for a while obviously because of the gang

But it wasn't until a couple years later that Dally actually met Johnny's older sister

When he first met her he wanted nothing to do with her

But he did still think she was kinda pretty

She hated him though

She didn't like the thought of her little brother hanging around someone like him

Over time though, Dally started liking her more and more and would occasionally flirt with her

The first time he flirted she slapped him in the face

After a while though she actually sort of started liking it

Johnny noticed and didn't like the thought of his best friend flirting with his sister because he knew how Dally was with girls and he'd seen his sister's feelings hurt by guys before

Johnny asked Dally to stop

But of course Dally doesn't take no for an answer

Finally one day he works up the courage to ask her out

She is hesitant, but says yes

When Johnny finds out he runs away so Dally goes to find him and has a talk with him

Johnny says he'll give Dally a chance with his sister but if he screws anything up, it's over

Dally has no choice but to agree

Dally and Johnny's sister go on a few dates and finally make their relationship official

Johnny actually doesn't hate the idea so much anymore

Dally keeps his promise and doesn't step out of line

Johnny really appreciates it and is actually really happy for them

#the outsiders #dallas winston #dally winston #johnny cade #the outsiders headcanons #asks

[wikiangela]

wip wednesday

I wasn't gonna post anything until I get back from my vacation but I'm reading the prequel to "they both die at the end" and it prompted an idea of a little crossover sad fic with a tragic mcd ending and I'm gonna break my own heart with this one for sure 😂 (@thebravebitch said what I have so far is good and I trust her judgment lol ❤️)

so here's a little snippet I wrote on my phone bc I couldn't help myself and wait a few days 😂

______

His phone ringing wakes him up. At first he's confused, not registering it's his phone, since it's not even his ringtone. It takes him a few seconds to recognize it, and when he does, he looks at his phone and freezes, the words "DEATH-CAST" showing up as the caller ID.

He doesn't panic. When he answers the call, they'll tell him he's going to die in the next twenty four hours - or, twenty two hours, since it's after 2am already, they took their time to deliver this news. But he doesn't panic, he doesn't worry, he just freezes, and wonders if he should answer the call at all. After all, he's not even sure he believes in this whole damn thing.

One thing he does know is that no one will even try to convince him that he's going to die soon. They don't know shit.

*

It's not a new information that Eddie Diaz is what can be classified as a skeptic. He's not a believer in supernatural forces, magic, jinxes, ghosts, lately he even struggles with religion, despite his abuela's best efforts. Everyone in his life is aware of that.

So when this dude showed up out of nowhere claiming he can predict when people are gonna die, with no details or explanation, and give them one last day to sort out their affairs and say goodbye - Eddie called bullshit. He wasn't about to spend money on the off chance that they'll let him know when he's about to die. With being in the army, shot at every day, and even now with being a firefighter, he's aware of his own mortality more than your average person, he's already had more brushes with death than most people.

But he bought the subscription anyway, for his whole family. He had his parents, his abuela, his tía, and his wife trying to convince him, and they didn't succeed - he still thinks it's bullshit - but at least that got them to shut up about it. So, since then they spent thousands every year on subscribtions to this dumb service for himself, Shannon, and Christopher, and it was a waste of money, in Eddie's opinion.

And then, shortly after he moved to LA with his son, when he reconnected with his estranged wife, trying to see where this would go, but no matter what, his son was getting his mom back, and things were starting to look up again - Shannon got the call.

Eddie didn't belive it, but she did, and she decided to live this day like it's her last - which it ended up being, after all, but Eddie's still not sure if it wasn't some freak coincident.

That's what he's trying to tell her, when she's asking for a divorce that they don't have time to get finalized before he becomes a widower. She looks at him over the table in the little café they met, and there's nothing but peaceful acceptance, mixed with a bit of sorrowful regret for what she'll miss, in her eyes.

"Please make sure Christopher remembers I love him. I loved him, and I'll continue to love him from wherever we go after." she says with feeling, but at the same time she's almost casual about it. As if the prospect of dying within who knows how many hours wasn't a big deal. As if the only big deal is leaving her child once again, this time permanently.

Eddie can't take this. He won't believe this.

He still has trouble believing when he arrives on a call to a car accident later, and sees Shannon lying there on the street. Logically, he knows it makes sense, there's been a lot of people he's heard about who got the call and died, there's no reason not to believe it. But there's also not a lot of reasons to believe it, it might all just be a coincidence. Eddie's not about lose Shannon. Chris is not about to lose his mom. It's not fair. And he can't help blaming the stupid Death-Cast program.

____

No pressure tags (I'm on vacation and I'm barely on here so I really have no idea who already did it lmao) @panbuckley @honestlydarkprincess @jamietarts @shortsighted-owl @elvensorceress @translasso @alyxmastershipper @silentxxsoul @mrevanbuckley @buck-tartt

#wip wednesday #buddie #buddie fic #fic excerpt #fic sneak peek #wikiangela writes #my writing #upcoming fic #new oneshot #death cast #death cast buddie au

[mushiewrites]

okay but seriously can you maybe go into what inspired you to write tiny boy big complaints, handsy hyperfixation (a classic), and the newest snf one?? and also maaaaybe the older one about teleporting if you wanna do that one too???

thank youuuuuu :))

- cal <333

from this milestone post / tiny boy big complaints / handsy hyperfixation / losing the battle winning the war / the troubles with teleporting

some of my favs in here <3

tiny boy big complaints my beloved ): and cals fav <3333 this fic is so special to me even though it's one of the lower note ones! it was actually a prompt sent in by cal (found here), so it's kind of hilarious to me it turned out to be his favorite one ):

I wanted george to be soft and tiny and I wanted dream to be soft but playful with him, and somehow I created one of my favorite things ever by doing so. I think this is another fic that I didn't really brainrot the concept with anyone, I am actually 99.9% positive I blacked out and wrote this entire thing and then made cal read it for me before I posted it and cal helped me pick the title tooooooo

cal is just the best is the bottom line actually :D this one was written for him and me and us and that's really all I can say about this one <3

- - - - - -

handsy hyperfixation was started december 26th, the morning after the dream team did their christmas stream, because I went completely insane over pictures of dreams hands (enjoy the blurry pictures <3)

then I sent these messages to cal (yes he is nick nelson) followed after I blacked out and wrote 4K words in one sitting:

then I let the fic sit until the end of february, and I finished it in the beginning of march. I will be honest, this one was absolutely 100000% a self indulgent fic, purely for myself and I didnt really care if I posted it or not. cal actually told me to name it "mushie's self indulgent hand fic", which....absolutely not....but it's correct. whatever. sue me, Im obsessed with dreams hands ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

this is my favorite thing I've ever written, it's my baby, it's 7.2K words for me and me alone lmfao. I actually was terrified to post it bc I didn't think anyone would read it, and now it's over 100 notes. I actually could cry thinking about how proud I am of it (even though I messed up some things in it, I don't care, I poured so much into this fic)

so yeah. that's handsy 🥺

- - - - - -

losing the battle winning the war was written 100% because of @wishitweresummer. this little idiot asked to commission me (which I said no to bc she's an idiot) bc she wanted to read about back of the neck raspberries....I wonder why? she also wanted it to be the first time george got back of the neck raspberries! cute, right? again....I wonder why :D

cal named it and its the perfect title tbh

summer requested for it to be playful and I know summer loves rough, so I made sure to really play up the snf fighting dynamic and I actually love what I created ):

she ALSO requested for george to struggle and be cocky, and for him to come out on top and completely destroy sap. she said she wanted it to be in a place that wasn't super common, a new spot for george to discover, and I adore the spot above the hip bc it's such a surprisingly sensitive spot! so that's how that was born

I truly just wrote this up to make sure I flustered the shit out of summer. I included things that people know get her and things that only I (and maybe one or two others) know about purely just to have summer yell at me for it :D

I love how this one turned out, targeted fics always turn out better to me for some reason <3

- - - - - -

the troubles with teleporting was the first time I ever wrote XD 🥺 this was a prompt that emma sent in, I can't find the actual prompt bc it was when my tumblr was a different name and the link is broken BUT

I remember just getting this idea to make the teleporting itself tk george at first instead of XD doing it right away, just bc I had the idea that it would kind of feel like when you go down a drop on a rollercoaster???? but a little more intense?

I also remember being super excited bc emma actually had the idea of the teleporting itself tkling instead of XD, but neither of us mentioned it to each other until after I wrote it that way! great minds think alike :D

again, it was my first time writing XD, and for those of you who don't know, XD is one of my all time favorite lers to read and write. I wanted to make sure I did XD justice, and I really love this silly lil fic, and how XD winds up just tkling the heck out of george at the end anyways (they even lifted george's arms up above his head while XD's bottom set got his ribs oh my goodness that was cruel huh 🫠)

the teases in this were pretty good too (':

#awkwardtickleetoo #asks #okay sorry this is like a novel but.........I explained it all didn't I #thank u again baby for sending in stuff ur the greatest ): <3 #i love the ones u sent in #u know how special handsy is to me and also tiny #ugh i love them sm #mushies 300 milestone

[cookinguptales]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💙

You know... I put off answering this for a while because I just could not choose five. And I still can't?? I have so many fics I've written, many of them for fandoms of one, and I find that I actually love a lot of them.

So... if you'll forgive me, I think I'll just talk about a whole bunch of fics that I love for a whole bunch of reasons.

(cut because... I really do talk about a lot of fics lmao)

I think these days a lot of people follow me for WWDITS/nandermo fic. It's one of my current loves, and I've really enjoyed writing for this fandom. I do wonder if I'll keep writing after nandermo becomes canon (or gets sunk for good) but in the meantime... I guess I'll just keep having a good time?

I think my favorite fic I've ever written for WWDITS is Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow, Too. I was looking at a bunch of prompts for the Trick-or-Treat Exchange (more on that later) and I ended up smushing several of them together in my head. But then the story really got away from me, I guess, as I really started to delve deep into Nandor's mind (a WILD place to be, I'm telling you) and it ended up not being posted for another month. Whoops?

Either way, though, I feel like I was really able to get at some of the ideas I'd been juggling with the characters for a long time at that point, and I think the prose itself was very nice at times. I did complicated things with that fic that I haven't done before, and in the end... I think I did a good job! It's probably the fic I'm proudest of in this fandom.

That said, I'd like to give Honorable Mentions to both When We Sway (I Go Weak) and Five Times Guillermo Helped Nandor Collect Semen (And One Time He Didn't) just because both of those fics involved me getting wildly out of my comfort zone. I think both of them seem a bit... outdated, maybe, after s4 and s5, but I think they match the tone of s3 nicely.

Sway was heavy on pining, something I feel like I'm good at writing, but also very heavy on physical action. As many of you know, I'm disabled! I have never waltzed. The kind of movement I described in that fic is not easy for me to do myself, and action scenes have always been difficult for me to write fluidly. So the fact that I was able to write both dancing and fighting convincingly in that fic made me really relieved. I got several comments from dancers telling me how well I'd captured dancing with a partner and like. PHEW. I did a ton of research and bro I was RELIEVED. So I do feel very proud of that.

Even more outside of my wheelhouse was both 5+1 things fics. I'd written a little bit of porn before this, even some for nandermo, but not much and I was largely dissatisfied with it. But boy did I get a lot of practice with those fics. lmao. It was essentially 11 sex scenes of various levels of filth loosely strung together with longing, and like... honestly, I'm very pleased at how most of them turned out! And I think I'm a lot better at writing porn now, even if it always turns out very fucking weird and introspective.

Speaking of weird.

The other fandom I love dearly these days is Sleep No More, which I've been writing for for several years. For a long time, I mostly just wrote this one for exchanges? Mostly ToT and Yuletide. I love writing for SNM, an interactive theater situation in NYC, because I can really fuck around with writing styles. I can play with ideas about religion and folklore and magic and blood and storytelling and tradition, and I can do it while writing some of the most fucked-up relationships that exist. I can play with a show that has very little spoken word, where a slap and a kiss might be in the same loosely choreographed dance, where I get to be a part of this haunted house, but only as a ghost...

While I'm sure the very few people who usually read my SNM fic might disagree, I think my favorite thing I've ever written for SNM is It's A Sin to Tell A Lie. It was my first time really trying to assemble a semi-coherent narrative from the show (largely inspired by some things that I realize now were not always common experiences in the show lmao) so I'm not sure it always aligns with how I see the characters now, but I feel like I wrote a really haunting fic that used the source material in interesting ways.

The Honorable Mention this time goes to The Consequence of Sounds, which is probably the strangest thing I've ever written. A friend of mine joked that she'd like it even if someone wrote like a haunted space hotel AU for the show and that apparently scratched something insane in my brain, so... I wrote a fic that combined space opera, Macbeth, Scottish folk magic, and the music of the spheres.

It's....... very weird. But it was also so fun to write, and I think it was fairly successful. I think the point of fanfiction is weaving together a familiar canon in a brand-new way, and I had fun bringing odd little allusions and old ideas into a new AU. I had to get really creative and that was so fun.

Speaking of weird AUs... I wrote a lot of them when I used to write karabita. haha. This is another one of those fandoms that I picked up a lot of followers with, though idk if any still follow me. Osomatsu-san was a weird comedy show that threw itself into surrealism and AUs very often, and that allowed me to do the same. I think... out of the many, many karabita fics I wrote, my favorite might be Love's Carriers, which is a flower shop AU I wrote out of spite after someone told me that all flower shop AUs are terrible. I worked really, really hard to make the AU suit the characters rather than the other way around while also incorporating flower language, one of my favorite stupid tropes. Again, I think this one came out surprisingly well, especially considering I wrote it in like... 24 hours in a fit of pique. lmao.

Other fics I remember being very proud of in that era... uh... The odd karabita KH AU that no one read because there is basically zero crossover between those fandoms... The soulmark AU because I am WEAK to those... The wingfic... ah... the wingfic... I don't know if I'd use words like "best" or "favorite" for that wingfic, but... I do think it's probably the most I've ever put of myself into a fic. The anxieties re: love and disability that I put into that fic were so real that I still cry every time I look at certain parts of it. I've grown as a person since writing it, but... yeah, those are still fears that haunt me. So I guess I could say it feels the most "me" of any of them I ever wrote.

Other than that... I guess we end up in my exchange fic era. I spent many years writing fic of extremely variable quality for exchanges lmao. I think the most successful was undoubtedly there's not a word yet (for old friends who just met), the muppets slash fic that launched... god, honestly. like. I know I did not create a fandom, but being in at the ground floor and being the one that everyone came to talk to when the pairing DID get off the ground was surreal. lmao. I created that tag on AO3! Everyone said I was crazy for writing that fic! Then they read it and they fell in love a little bit! Then the pairing became canon and everything went bananas! What a weird, surreal, delightful fandom experience.

That Muppets fic really came from the heart and really just came from me writing a fic during a very difficult time in my life and wanting to create a love letter to the characters that got me through it. I wanted to make other people feel the way The Muppets made me feel, and the fact that I succeeded in that (against all odds!) really does make that one special to me.

But... I wrote a ton of exchange fics for tiny, tiny fandoms that most people have never considered! Weird spooky crossover f/f ships, like my Crazy Rich Asians/Ready Or Not Astrid/Grace fic, or my Stoker/Sharp Objects India/Amma fic! Rarepairs like my Kimi no Na wa (Your Name) f/f Mitsuha/Miki fic! An unhinged lost episode of Puppet History! Character studies of dear little elderly murderers in Arsenic and Old Lace!

I also wrote sort of quasi-original fic, especially for the ToT exchange. Ghosts of dinosaurs falling in love with each other in a museum (inspired by a real historical case of the wrong skull being on a skeleton -- and god, that one has a hilarious IRL story attached to it) and a pet shop full of the ghosts of animals longing for companionship and grim reapers grappling with life and death and forbidden love. Mann I loved writing those.

And honestly??? I could write entire posts about any of the fics I'm talking about here. I love them, especially the ones that weren't really loved by anyone else. Hell, I'm turning that pet shop into an extended f/f origific right now.

Writing fic for tiny fandoms of one or two for an exchange feels so bittersweet because you can make that person really happy (and, not to toot my own horn, but I tend to make recipients really happy in exchanges) but it just kind of... fades away. Those stories sometimes have very short lifespans just because they're really just for one person. It's not a good or bad thing, just the nature of exchanges. I love designing a fic that's tailored to one person's likes, dislikes, and deepest desires. It's so fun for me. But it is kind of sad to see those fics fall by the wayside after. So I have to love them enough to make up for it. haha.

Finally... a fic I adored writing, that absolutely consumed me, and it's for a fandom that is basically nonexistent. I loved going to Meow Wolf's House of Eternal Return and experiencing the work of hundreds of artists all coming together to make something great. I wanted to add my art, too. No one is out here looking for HoER fic, especially not for the pairing I wrote, but like. BOY, if there's any fic I've ever written that's the definition of "I wrote this for me", it's Gnosis.

Anyway, yeah, I've been posting fic on AO3 for *checks* almost 15 years now, so I guess it makes sense that I can't narrow this down to just five, lmao. But I'm also trying not to go on too much.

But seriously, seriously, if anyone wants me to talk more about these fics or any other that I've written, I would be so incredibly happy to give you a play-by-play of what I was thinking, what I was trying to do, what I liked, what I disliked, what I'd change now, what changed me, etc. I think any author would be haha.

But I'll cut this short now!! As for who to tag... honestly, since I read so much fiction for a living these days, I don't really read fanfic anymore. I'm not sure who I follow writes it anymore. I have most fic tags filtered, being real with you. So... how about this. If you are a writer and you want me to tag you, just lmk!!! And I will send you the message.

#ask games #writing liveblogging

[acacia-may]

Hi Acacia! 14 and 24 for the writing game pls

Hello hello, friend! I'm always so excited to see you in my inbox, and I hope you are doing wonderfully! 😊

Thank you so much for your ask and for playing the writing excerpt ask game. I'd be happy to answer these for you and will be sure to choose excerpts from my OMORI stories since it's our shared fandom (and I'm really going to try very hard to get creative and not choose any Kelbrey excerpts for you too though there are several that fit both of these categories)! ^^

Everything is under the cut because of MAJOR OMORI spoilers! One snippet has its own set of additional warnings so please be mindful of that as well.

14. An excerpt of my writing that was out of my comfort zone

Do you mean any time I try to write romance ever? Because goodness that makes me so nervous and stressed out! I've been trying to practice a little by writing about ships I feel very passionately about and/or really, really like, but even then, it's a major struggle for me and I feel like it ends up leaning very ambiguous (i.e. it could be romantic or it could be platonic. The readers can choose their own adventure!) or blending into a background of several other plotlines going on. Sitting down to write a purely romance story is just not my thing, and I honestly don't think it's my strong suit. Therefore, for the sake of honesty, I feel compelled to give a major shoutout to "There Is Happiness" (which is about functional post-bad ending Kelbrey, sorry) because it was an entire story outside of my comfort zone but especially the dancing sequence. I still can't believe I wrote that (which I guess fits your other question too lol), but I won't subject you to an excerpt of that, friend! Instead here's some swoony HeroMari from my college, everyone lives AU one shot "Some Things Are Meant To Be":

Mari sighed. The truth was she was glad she had to stop at this point on the tour because she likely would have stopped anyway—too stunned by the swooning, swooping sensation in the pit of her stomach whenever a particular culinary arts student smiled. She had never spoken to him before—had never had the opportunity to properly introduce herself, but she supposed that might be for the best. She couldn’t help but wonder if she’d even be able to muddle her way through a coherent introduction if they did have the chance to meet. After all, on the few occasions he had met her eyes through the glass, staring at her with such gentleness that she could have sworn her heart had skipped a beat, her mind had completely emptied and she couldn’t even think of the tour script her roommate often, somewhat playfully, accused her of reciting in her sleep. Knowing herself, she’d probably forget her own name if he so much as said “hello” to her, so they’d both likely graduate before they got to share anything more than a few somewhat shy waves at each other whenever she passed by his class on her tours. Halfway through her little speech about the state of the art kitchen equipment they had available to students, Mari reached the line she both adored and dreaded which prompted the tour group to look through the window to see the future chefs of the world cooking and baking. When Mari turned to glance into the classroom herself, she somehow always managed to find him immediately in the crowd. Today was no different. Just as he was taking what appeared to be a souffle out of the oven, he happened to turn at the exact moment she did. Their eyes met. Time stopped. Mari’s heart raced. He smiled, and her heart ached. All of her thoughts disappeared, except one: Oh… He was beautiful.   That was not in her tour script.

And also, just for you, I'll include this excerpt of Hero admitting he's ready to find love again a decade after the good-ending from the final chapter of "But I Always Thought That I'd See You Again" (which is Aubrey and Hero's platonic friendship centric even though it also includes some background Kelbrey). I'm including it because it was another story out of my comfort zone, especially this particular scene (and I did a ton of research for it) and because I purposely wrote the story in such a way that the identity of Hero's love interest could be anybody you wanted who fit the ambiguous descriptors (I'm really sharing because I hope it'll resolve that "I need Hero and Zoey to realize their feelings" sentiment you mentioned in your comment on "Under the Weather" or maybe just add more Hero/Brandi to the world. It's written in such a way he could be talking about either of them or neither...choose your own adventure!)

“I think you’re a much stronger person than me, Hero. If someone deserves to be broken up about it, it’s you, and you should take as much time as you need. No one would blame you if you just…never moved on.”  Hero took a long, shaky breath then pressed his lips together. “That’s…that’s the thing, Aubrey. I…” His voice was so quiet she could barely hear him. He stared intently at his hands—twisting them together, refusing to look at her. It was almost like he couldn’t. “I had actually been thinking…”—he swallowed hard—“That is I…I actually wondered if maybe…I might be…ready…to...um...”  Aubrey tried her best to stifle a gasp. Of all the things she could’ve expected…she would have never even entertained this as a possibility. Hero had never expressed any interest in pursuing a relationship with anyone after Mari. They all respected it and never pried, just quietly resigned themselves to the fact that Hero might never love again, so to hear that he was actually, seriously considering moving on... She just couldn’t hold back the smile that tugged at her mouth as her eyes started to grow misty. “Really?” Hero blushed, and Aubrey’s breath caught in her throat. The expression on his face was so flustered but so warm, so affectionate—she never thought she’d ever see him make that face again. “Yeah…uh…I was actually…kind of thinking that I might ask someone out.” Aubrey’s jaw fell slack. Here she had been worried that Hero was listening to sad music and still pining after Mari when actually he was thinking about moving on. A flabbergasted but excited chuckle escaped her lips, and she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him—center console be damned. “Hero, that’s wonderful! I…you have no idea how excited everyone is going to be to hear that, especially Kel.” “Just…Just for coffee…” he stumbled quickly, awkwardly patting her on the back. “Nothing too big or dramatic or anything…” “This is big, Hero,” said Aubrey pulling away from him with a wide, bright smile. “You…you’ve met someone…” It wasn’t really a question.   His blush deepened. “I think it’s more like I finally saw someone who had been there for a long time.” “So it’s someone you know well?” Aubrey repeated wracking her brain trying to think of Hero’s closest friends and who this could possibly be. She supposed it was really none of her business, but she was curious. Hero nodded and hummed. “For a long time. We became close friends in college and we’re in this wedding together now so we’ve been seeing a lot of each other and…I guess I’ve just been thinking…realizing that…when I’m with her, I—I don’t know, Aubrey—I…feel things that I didn’t know I could feel anymore…” His voice trailed—quiet, distant as if he had forgotten himself, but his cheeks flushed a bright red. Aubrey’s eyes widened, but she could only blink at him in shock. Was Hero…? Was he really… in love? The question felt somewhat silly and juvenile, especially seeing as he had never even been on a date with this woman, but…Aubrey couldn’t help but wonder. There was something so incredibly gentle and sincere in his face—something so warm and wistful, almost pining in his dark eyes as he sighed with a certain love-struck helplessness that Aubrey honestly didn’t think she would ever see from him again. “Honestly,” he shyly admitted. “I…I think I’ve felt this way for a long time but…I just…wasn’t ready to see it.”

24. An excerpt of my writing that makes me go "huh...i wrote that?!"

In a good way or a bad way? 😅😂 If it's in a really good "I can't believe that I was capable of writing this" kind of way, then I think pretty much all of 2AM would fit in that category. I wrote that fic for a request, and it recounts how Hero, Kel, and Aubrey discovered and reacted to the aftermath of Sunny and Basil's fight on the night of One Day Left. It's another story that was completely out of my comfort zone because it was so heavy and dark (definitely not one I would have ever thought to write on my own), but I'm very proud of it so here's a snippet.

(Warnings for Injuries (Non-graphically depicted), Blood, Aftermath of Canon-Typical Violence (Non-graphically depicted). Fear. Emotional Hurt. Heavy and Dark Themes and Subject Matter. Heavy ANGST. MAJOR SPOILERS FOR OMORI)

“Hero, help Sunny!” He managed to catch Polly’s instructions amidst the chaos and dropped to his knees beside Sunny’s crumpled figure. With trembling fingers, he grabbed Sunny’s wrist—limp and clammy—desperately searching for a pulse. His chest ached as he found one—weak but still beating. Hero swallowed hard—watching the blood seep between his fingers as they held Sunny’s wrist. He searched for injuries. Where had Sunny been cut? His hands and arms seemed clear of wounds, so he must have used to them to try to stop the bleeding wherever he had been… Hero stopped abruptly. He finally saw it.  That gash across Sunny’s right eye. Frantically, he wracked his brain for his emergency first aid training. It was empty—useless in an actual crisis. His instructor’s words were garbled in his memories, almost as if she had been speaking underwater. Triage. Assess. Predict. Respond. And… Hero’s head whirled. He couldn’t remember and was too distracted by the sound of something clattering to the floor. Basil had finally dropped the weapon in his hands. He fell to his knees—caught by Polly and Kel. A pair of bloodied pruning sheers skid along the floor leaving streaks of red on the wood grain. Basil screamed again, but Hero’s vision blurred—blinded by the sudden burst of overhead light as Aubrey returned and flipped the switch. but she stopped, frozen in the doorway as she caught sight of Sunny on the ground. Hero blinked rapidly, but as his vision came into focus, bile burned the back of his throat. That slash across Sunny’s eye—deep and bloody in the light. Hero’s head ached. Jumbled memories playing in rapid succession. A diagram in an Anatomy and Physiology textbook. His professor holding up a model of the eye. The distant, garbled words: corneal laceration… Most serious of all eye injuries… High Risk…Permanent loss of vision… Hero’s stomach churned. As a streak of red trickled across Sunny’s cheek, he leaned forward with trembling hands, frantically searching for something to use as a compress to stop the bleeding. But he stopped himself. Hearing the warning as clear as day: Never, ever put pressure on a cut to the eye.

If it's in a "Why the hell did I write this?" kind of way literally anything from Safety Net (No, I'm not linking it. I didn't even put it on Tumblr because I have nothing to say for myself...) If it's more in a "I can't believe I wrote this, but I think it's okay(?)" kind of way, there is this incredibly mushy excerpt from my HeroMari fic "More Than Words":

Mari was his best friend, but even that title wasn’t enough for everything she meant to him. She was someone he could always rely on—someone he could talk to for hours until he completely lost track of the time. Someone he could share anything with—who he wanted to share everything with. She knew him better than anyone else—knew he wasn’t as perfect as everyone seemed to think and knew how hard he tried to be, but she still believed in him—saw something in him that he couldn’t even see in himself. She was the kindest person he had ever known and so beautiful that his soul ached whenever he looked at her. He cared for her more than he had the words in his young and inexperienced fifteen-year-old mind to express or really to even fully understand. All he knew was that he had never been happier than when she smiled at him—so bright and warm that he would have sworn the sun shined brighter. He couldn’t imagine a world without her in it, and he would give her the world in an instant if he could—would give anything to make her happy, to protect her, to care for her, and to in some small way repay her for being part of his life. But all she ever asked for was his friendship which he readily offered with as much loyalty and devotion as he could manage. Somehow even after all this time, she had never asked for his heart. Hero sometimes wondered if it was because they were still so young and she knew she had all the time in the world to ask for it. Perhaps she was waiting for the day he would be older and wouldn’t get so sheepish or tongue-tied whenever he tried to express his feelings. If Hero was being honest, he was looking forward to that day too…but he supposed it was more likely that Mari had never asked him for his heart because she knew she didn’t need to ask. It had always belonged to her. He knew Mari knew that. She had to know that. What he couldn’t say in words he practically screamed with offers to help with her chores or errands, with late night study sessions for the exams she stressed over or with hours spent cooking her favorite foods for her and carefully packing them into a basket for a picnic that, Hero was sorry to say, had just gotten rained out.

That was a lot of ramblings... Sorry about that. Thanks again for the ask. I hope you'll enjoy these snippets! Cheers! 💕

#there's a lot of heroxmari ones in here! 💙💜 #which I don't think ever made it to my main blog actually 😅 #omori fic snippets #writing excerpts ask game #thank you for the ask and for playing #omori spoilers

[howtowhumpyourhiccup]

Separation Anxiety

Whumpcember 2022 Day 6!

Summary: Written for Whumpcember 2022 Day 6. Set after RoB/DoB. Snotlout is in a hurry to find Hookfang, from whom he has gotten separated above a freezing ocean.

Warning: /

Rating: General

Characters: Hiccup, Snotlout, Toothless, Hookfang

Pairing: /

Words: 856

Fandom: How to Train Your Dragon

Prompt: Separated

Whumpee: Snotlout

Author’s Notes: So funny story.... I kept forgetting to post the rest of Whumpcember and Whumperland and now it's January and the end of my two-week time off. So here's at least one of them.

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"Hurry! Come on, Toothless, I thought you could go faster than this?!" Snotlout pretty much yells in the Night Fury's ears as they glide across the frosty sea.

"Snotlout, would you not yell into my dragon's ears? You know how sensitive they are!" Hiccup complains, pushing his friend back when he all but tries to climb in front.

Toothless rumbles softly, not appreciating his tone. He gets that he's worried, but yelling won't help anyone.

"We need to hurry!"

"I know that, but yelling won't help," Hiccup words what Toothless is thinking.

"Than what will get Toothless to go faster?" Snotlout questions, he's not happy with the way the two of them are handling what is essentially an emergency.

Toothless rumbles again.

"Toothless is right, Snotlout! If we want to find Hookfang, we can't just speed by and expect to find him that way. We need to look carefully," Hiccup answers.

"The other Dragon Riders are also out there, searching. We'll find him."

Snotlout lets out a deep, annoyed sigh. This isn't the way he wants to handle this situation, it's too slow in his opinion. At the same time, however, he knows Hiccup is right. His friend and leader has this annoying ability to be right 95% of the time.

He's not the only one who's annoyed. Others have stated before how irritating it is that a 16 year old is consistently the smartest person in the room.

"Fine, if you say so," he says with a bite to his tone and Hiccup gives him a subtle look.

He doesn't like it when Snotlout gets like this, but he understands. If Toothless were to go missing, he doesn't think he would be very enjoyable to be around either.

The story Snotlout told them is that he and Hookfang were out training, a rogue dragon separated the two, and Snotlout was brought back to Berk. And if that story doesn't quite make sense and like a lot of details have been left out it's because that "rogue" dragon was actually an inhabitent from Berk. The two agitated and agitated him with their training until he decided to stop them when warnings weren't enough. He was an elder dragon and these two young ones were making an awful lot of noise, disturbing his peace. Older dragons can be very similar to their own old folks that way.

But as the elder dragon took Snotlout back to Berk, Hiccup can't imagine that Hookfang can be in too much trouble. But that doesn't mean that he can't put himself in his friend's shoes and understand where his concerns are coming from. He's almost lost Hookfang once before when his inner fire went out. If it wasn't for the Fireworm Queen, he would've been lost forever and it's an experience Snotlout hasn't forgotten yet. He will probably never forget it.

Hiccup wouldn't be surprised if it was on his mind right now. They were above the sea when they separated and it's getting colder, cold enough that lakes might freeze over. And granted, there's a certain difference between these two bodies of water, it still means that the ocean is equally chilly. Snotlout must be worried that the freeze is enough to dim his dragon's fire all over again.

"Where is he?" The boy wonders out loud, though Hiccup isn't sure if he means for him to hear that.

"We'll find him, Snotlout. We will, I promise you that," he promises.

Snotlout doesn't answer to that, which is more likely to mean that he appreciates it than not. He doesn't usually remain quiet this easily.

And just like that... there's a cry. A dragon's cry.

But it's not the kind a dragon in distress would make, quiet the opposite!

If the human boys were capable, their ears would perk up like Toothless' do right now.

"Wait... Is that Hookfang?" Snotlout asks a mere second before something expertly abducts him right off Toothless' back.

Both boys and the dragon scream, all of them taken by surprise. Hiccup is nearly knocked out of the saddle by the mere wind of something big passes them by, nearly pulling Toothless dangerously out of balance. But they both manage not to crash, stumbling only a bit.

"Oh no! Snotlout!" Hiccup shouts and both he and Toothless look around quickly.

Where did he go? What took him?!

Laughter is their answer. The two look up to find Snotlout in the talons of none other than Hookfang. He is, like Hiccup already figured, completely fine and just as relieved to see his Rider as he is to see him.

With his talons, the Monstrous Nightmare holds Snotlout to his snout, his wings still flapping dutifully on either side of him. The boy's laughter in contagious, Hiccup follows swiftly. Looks like Hookfang was just as worried about Snotlout as he was for him. Both thought the other was in trouble and has been searching for him all this time.

"Looks like this one ended well, huh, Bud?" Hiccup asks his dragon, who purrs in agreement. This is a good ending, they couldn't have asked for a happier one.

#httyd movies #rob #dob #riders of berk #defenders of berk #hiccup haddock #toothless #hicctooth #snotlout jorgenson #snotlout whump #hookfang #snotfang #my fanfics #separation anxiety

[shnie]

Cornflowers in Bloom

hello! this is my very first fanfic that i'll be posting here, so pls make sure to let me know about any tips you have for me, or any mistakes ive done! ♡

☆ title meaning -> cornflowers symbolize hope in love, and it is said that if a cornflower maintains its bloom, then there is hope that the young man's love will be returned.

☆ sypnosis -> You and Kazuha have known each other for as long as you can remember, and you have recently noticed his unusual behavior... Until one drunk night, he spills his heart's troubles to you. (no smut and no sakoku hunt decree here btw<3)

☆ warnings -> alcohol

[additional tags -> kazuha fanfic, bestfriends to lovers, feelings denial, kazuha is a softie 4 u]

It is yet another monotonous day, dealing with the fatui, maintaining order throughout inazuma, and much more mundane tasks.. You don't have much friendships going on due to your secretive nature, which is why you wholeheartedly cherish your friendship with Kazuha.

Kazuha is a very amiable person, not only is he considerate and nice, but he's also very creative. You've known him ever since you were children, so you practically know more about him than he does himself.

His charm attracts you and makes you want him, and his swift fighting skills intrigue you. He has a very composed personality, which is one of many reasons you have harbored feelings for him.

After finishing your tasks, you look forward to spending some time with Kazuha for leisure and relaxing. You told him to meet you during nighttime at the harbor since it is one of your favorite meeting spots.

When it's time, you head to the harbor where countless ships are going in and out. The moonlight shines gloriously at the sea, and fish are moving freely amongst the great sea. You spot Kazuha sitting beautifully at one of the benches, so you sit next to him. He looks beautiful. His hair adorns him really well. Except, he seems quite upset about something.

"Hey, Kazuha. You seem down, what's the matter?" you prompt.

"You're here." he replies while avoiding your curious gaze with a pink color in his cheeks. You can't help but think he must feel really hot.

"Mm? Are you okay?" you question.

"I'm fine.. So uh.. how was work today?"

You figure that he's trying to dodge your question, but you question no more. Your conversation about old memories and recollections continues..

The next day, you resume work and your daily routine with anticipation for meeting with Kazuha. At the awaited time, to your surprise, he isn't there.

You wonder if perhaps he had gotten sick, or maybe he just simply forgot? Unwanted thoughts crawl their way into your train of thoughts but you decide not to make much of it, for you don't want to be pessimistic.

Everyday, you wait and wait again for Kazuha to show up and apologize because he hurt your feelings, maybe he found out about your feelings for him and didn't like it? You decide to just go sleep and ignore it.

The following day, you decide that you'll go meet him next to a maple tree under the starry sky, so you send him a letter with the location. He's your closest friend and you would rather not lose him, even if it were for your feelings toward him.

At the appointed time and location, you depart, wearing a long floral dress that accentuates your waist, and a few accessories here and there.

He's here. Kazuha actually came. You feel relieved that you get to have a talk with him. He's next to the big maple tree, sitting beside it. You sit next to him and take a big breath before exploding.

"What is wrong with you? You suddenly disappear and leave me worried about you with no explanation. Do you think it's funny? Because it's not." You roar.

"Well I... I apologize.."

"I demand an exp-"

And then you're interrupted. By a kiss. He seems passionate and eager to kiss you. To feel your soft lips against his. But you can feel the taste of alcohol on his lips..

Does that mean he actually likes you back? Crazy, isn't it? He was ignoring your meetings and then suddenly kisses you intensely. What a contradiction.

You pull out gasping for air.

"Kazuha, you're drunk." you point out.

"That's right."

"You don't mean it, right? The kiss.. I just wanted to have a talk with you.."

"You don't have to talk to me about anything. I apologize because I left you like this. It was so sudden. I did it because I began to realize .. I love you. It's too much to bear, and I thought maybe.. you wouldn't want that.."

"Kazuha? Are you saying this because you're drunk? You won't remember this in the morning." This whole thing is confusing. Well, it's not that you don't like him back, but you're afraid it's a joke.

"Trust me. I love you. Doesn't matter whether I am drunk or not. I'll repeat it a thousand times for you to understand."

"Kazuha.. I love you too."

Then, you pull closer to his face. He looks even prettier when taking a closer look. His lips are hot and his kiss even hotter. You feel his hands grabbing on your waist. His moans are delicate and his voice is breathy.

"I love you.." He whispers between his kisses.

I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO END THIS FORGIVE MEEE

after writing this i realized that its cringey but whatever 🧍‍♀️

-shnie

#kazuha #genshin kaedehara #genshin fanfic #drunk kazuha #bestfriends to lovers #genshin impact #kaedehara x you