#also i cant get over how different the art looks on the images they have for the store page than like. the anime

[secretmellowblog]

I hope tumblr doesn’t die because No other social media site is as good for long, thoughtful, nuanced analyses of media. Yeah tumblr is also full of dumb shallow hot takes and shitposts, but you can make dumb shallow hot takes and shitposts anywhere —-there are no other popular social media sites that let you easily format and share long essays on the media you enjoy, and then have conversations around those long essays.

Fandom on all the other big social websites just seems so utterly …shallow. And it’s not because people on other websites aren’t thoughtful or don’t have deep things to say, but because these sites’ formats do not allow for any kind of long nuanced conversations.

Tiktok? Things have to be crammed into a super short video with an attention grabbing headline, and you can’t hyperlink sources. Instagram? Everything has to be in an image format with strict limits on length, and nothing will be shown to your followers anyway because of how Instagram’s algorithm works, and also no hyperlinks. Twitter? Strict character limits, and if you split it into threads it means someone can retweet a part of your essay completely out of context, and also very little freedom with formatting.

It frustrates me so much. If I go into the Tumblr Les Mis fandom I’ll find really compelling long essays on the original novel (including essays being written for the ongoing book club) on the story’s historical context, or the parallels between different characters and their narrative foils, or the way the politics were defanged for certain adaptations, or the way Victor Hugo’s personal life and failings affected the novel. But on tiktok I’ll get the same five shallow stale jokes from 2013 over and over, or maybe the same “DID U KNO THAT IN THE MUSICAL JAVERT AND VALJEAN SING THE SAME LEITMOTIF” style of basic Intro To Les Mis 101 For Babies media analysis (which is what Tiktok considers deep media analysis), or stale “LOL JAVERT ACTS GAY” style jokes as if we’re living in the early 2000s and calling a character gay is still a funny punchline. And it’s impossible to have any kind of deeper thoughtful discussions than “DID U KNOW <x Kool Fact>” or “lol <shallow observational joke>” on tiktok because the platform just isn’t built for building niche communities around in depth conversations. it’s built to churn out bland generic content for as wide an audience as possible, which means pointing out a small detail like an Easter egg and calling it “cool” is deep media analysis, because you cant have longer more in depth conversations without alienating people. And I hate it. Bc like, it’s not because there aren’t smart clever thoughtful people on Tiktok— there are—it’s because Tiktok isn’t built for these conversations, and anyone who wants to have them has to really fight against the things the website encourages or prioritizes!

Or like, if I go into the LOTR fandom on Tumblr, I’ll find tons of extremely long analysis and fanfic, and analysis of queer readings of the story. On Instagram people will still shriek in terror if you suggest the characters are gay, and most of the popular lotr posts are stale memes recycled from like 2007. There’s really no room for thoughtful media analysis, and even if you did create it, instagram’s algorithm would make sure no one saw your post anyway.

And everyone’s going to say “the algorithm shows you what you’ve seen before so maybe it’s your fault ~” or whatever but i do look for things I want! I do! “The algorithm” doesn’t know me or what I want or value or care about beyond this meaningless surface level.

The only thing that was worthwhile about these sites was the great visual art people were creating, but now the websites are overwhelmed with meaningless soulless machine-generated AI glurge, and it sucks. It just really, really sucks.

I’m honestly confused about why people don’t use tumblr….There’s no character limits! You have freedom with post formatting, and can insert images throughout textposts to illustrate specific points you’re making beneath the paragraphs where they’re necessary! You can add hyperlinks, linking to your sources! People can reblog your entire essay and share it, and then add on with commentary that then becomes part of a larger conversation! People can find your stuff through the tagging system! Reblogging means posts stay in circulation for years instead of being dead 30 minutes after they’re uploaded! If you want to have genuinely interesting text conversations about a piece of media, there really isn’t a better social media website for it anywhere.

To be clear, I’m definitely not saying Tumblr media analysis is *always* clever and thoughtful or etc etc. there are shitposts and nonsense here too (plenty of which I’ve created lol.) I’m saying that Tumblr gives people the tools for in-depth insightful analysis to happen. Whether people choose to do it or not is their own decision XD. But the reason lengthy in-depth conversations and book clubs are even possible here is because Tumblr is built for allowing these conversations to happen, in a way other sites simply aren’t.

It’d really suck if it died, because it’d be a huge blow to…being able to easily find long insightful in-depth media analysis written by fans. I currently don’t think there’s anything that could replace it.

#tumblr #I’m currently working an overlong essay post #comparing the locations Hugo references in Les Mis #with the photographs taken by Charles Marville in the 1860s of those very places #and just thinking “wow this would be hard on other sites

[theheirofthesharingan]

"Boruto seems to be more about SS than Boruto himself. There's just too much content on SS (or is it just my Twitter feed being stuffed with it? Idk)" Sorry I know this isn't a Sasuke blog but this is an SSer/S*kura fan issue. Idk what about her triggers this obsession but if you google image search "Naruto", you mainly get naruto or like the show's characters, but if you google "Sasuke" it's mostly SS art or the same 3 moments of the anime where they're in the same frame. Even more annoying for me personally is that you cant go on a tag for any Uchiha character without seeing ship art for them with Sakura (Itachi I think suffers from this the most because not only does he not even acknowledge she exists in canon outside of knowing she's a member of team 7, they fundamentally have nothing in common and arent compatible in even the loosest interpretations of their characters). It's baffling to me, and honestly extremely annoying.

I don't really go to Google for Naruto content, because I know it's going to piss me off one way or the other, so I keep my interaction with the fandom to the absolute minimum, that too on Tumblr and a little bit on Twitter. People on Twitter also said the same that it's her they find the most whenever they look for Sasuke related posts on Twitter and Twitter algorithm seems to recommend her posts to them. I noticed the same on my own feed. And I'd rather have Sasuke, Itachi, Kakashi, Naurto, Akatsuki on my Twitter feed, not her and her happy little family.

The issue with her ships is that she's shallow and the people she's shipped with have depth in them, so the connection never seems genuine. Not with Sasuke, not with Itachi, not with Sasori, or with anyone else. Her pairing with Itachi infuriates me as much as SS does. She would literally have to be a different person for me to remotely like her with any Uchiha or with the Akatsuki members. She isn't a shippable character with her canon personality.

A lot of her fans keep complaining about us loving Itachi over her without realizing we're not loving him because of his morality or because we think of him as an angel, but because he contributes so much to the story without eating up the space someone else deserved. You remove him from the story and majority of the story falls flat. On top of that, he's well-written. Audience will be inclined towards characters like that naturally. He has a likeable personality and his mystery makes you want to know more of him. Why would we not love him?

Half of her fans hate him and the other half ships him with her or sees him as a cheerleader for SS even though - like you said - he never acknowledged she existed other than being a part of Team 7. Maybe it's just self-inserts living their fantasies, because how can you look at her and go "Itachi needs to be shipped with her."

Makes no sense to me.

#itachi #itachi uchiha #anti sakura #anti sakura haruno #ask #anon

[alviearts]

Hi! I was trying to figure out the least awkward way to talk about Silver gender stuff and settled on this but please don't feel like you have to answer publicly if you don't want. So it's in this series, which basically takes off from the idea of Flint teaching Silver to cook after the pig roasting scene - Silver goes to him and says if you want me to keep up this illusion you have to keep teaching me. There are definitely hints in the second installment, but it's the last chapter of the third one where it really goes all out; Silver ends up dressed in silk and jewels from a prize, and gets treated like the pretty princess he deserves to be 🥰 I'm really interested in Silver's relationship with gender because of how he plays with identity in different ways, and how he sort of refuses to engage in some of the classic hypermasculine pirate stuff, he doesn't claim to be brave and tough and able to fight, that's not where his power comes from, in fact he actively undermines that image with the addresses and such, he gets by being charming and nonthreatening which can be perceived as a more feminine way of moving through the world. And I'm interested in how that interacts with some of the softness we see from Flint in private, even though he IS projecting that hypermasculine image as captain to some extent.

Anyway sorry for rambling, I'm obsessed with that art and I'm convinced it would taste of the same lovely lavender as the shade of the dress <3 Thank you so much for sharing, and I can't wait to see a version with the fancy prosthetic if you end up doing one.

Oh PS that fic also references Flint doing some gender play stuff in London with the Hamiltons... a favorite headcanon, he would love to be able to take a break from the roles he assumes... there is so much potential for both of them.

YAYYAY SILVER GENDER TIME

ive actually read that series!! and i love it, its so good! it definitely made me want to draw silver in a dress even more. (tho i'd already designed the dress before reading it)

i love the observation that he doesnt engage in the typical pirate masculinity, or place his worth in his physical strength or battle prowess. some characters in other shows would be highly demeaned for moving through the world this way (cough cough starscream transformers) but silver isnt--he's shown as a formidable enemy, both to flint at the start of the show and to anyone who would oppose him at the end... including, again, flint. who is, like you said, projecting a hypermasculine image as captain. even if that isnt exactly who he is inside, he places his outward worth as captain on his ability to intimidate, his ability in a fight, his success by typical pirate standards. so the fact that silver, who makes his success in a more stereotypically feminine way, triumphs over him is interesting to me. normally feminine men, men who move through the world the way silver does, would be demeaned by the characters and the plot, shown to be incompetent or lesser. but not in black sails <3

and im so glad you like my painting, i loved making it but was a little worried that nobody would like it or see value in it due to the ahistorical nature and, of course, the fact that i drew a pirate in a dress--WITH leg hair which. people seem to think if you wear a dress you cant have leg hair. which is weird lol. i didnt want to play into that. i think hairy men can also be femme and wear dresses and they look good doing it <3

#askbox #etoilesombre #black sails #john silver

[penguin--person]

silly question but: does wolf alík look any different from a regular wolf? when she's fully transformed, is there anything that sets her apart, or does she just look like an average, straight up wolf?

ty for asking this actually!!! i think about this a bunch, like, what human traits alík keeps, if she can bark/howl, if a pack of wolves would accept her, etc !!! ill talk about this under cut bc its like . idk? im not sure if this is body horror ? like its not just her being a wolf , its her being a messed up wolf .. uncanny wolf up ahead!! + some blood but not that much.. also warning ur getting a much longer answer than you were probs asking for lol

so i made a little image getting into details about her mutation just now, But i do first want to show off this art that my friend blazy (@/mothssmeat - go check his art out its super swag!!!) made of her for artfight last year !! He Gets Her he gets her wolfness he gets it

check out the speedpaint !! blazy's sooo niceys for drawing such an awesome alík art ... its So good . do you see how her nose is turning into one of a wolf? but so painfully ?? so slowly that its just !! how shes tearing up, blood around her ?? god . like God. oh my goddd . and her fur !! how its growing in patches around her body, starting like wild from her head, her eyebrows combined, just like !! its growing around like mold and i find that really cool .. hehe sorry just had to fangirl about this art ofher . i dont get the chance oftne . anyway. in a more professional manner: god sorry i cant yet . oh my fucking goddd . oh my GOD !!!! just look at that . what is that thing!!! dear god!!! ok. im normal now (lying ).

look at her hands and feet. human joints should not be like that, and wolf paws do not look like that. her claws.. god just look at them. blazys art explains alíks messed up wolf situation far better than i ever could. her ears, too, are just... god, look at them!! i have to move on from this art or ill just keep saying "look at it!!" but, well. Look at it.

some of my own alík wolf art:) the first one is when shes fully transformed, but also the first ever art i did of her like that, so take it with a grain of salt, but still take it. the second is her like... in her metamorphisis era - my internet connection is kinda MEAN and EVIL right now so i can't add them rn .. ill either rb with them later or edit them into the post. for now i just put links to the images :( sorry! plus the mentioned image from before. now Onto serious business

something that alík always has, no matter form, is her human eyes - but they're not really human! their colouration is one of a wolf's, and her eyesight is also almost as good as that of one. this is messed up when she's in full wolf mode, because its really.. just, weird. can you imagine looking at a dog with human eyes? a cat? a cow? no!! because its weird!!!! shes a FREAK!! (affectionate)

another weirdo thing about her face is her teeth. hes got canine teeth, no doubt about it, but i do think she has a bit more teeth than she should have.. maybe three more... ? two more? i think the amount of teeth is not equivalent with neither the amount humans should have nor the amount wolves should have.. like 38 or smth. this doesn't change in her transformation, but her jaw and gums do! it hurts! Ouchies! it also shifts her teeth around.. tbh i wouldnt be surprised if she lost a tooth or two transforming sometime.

as you may have noticed, alík has most of her fur on her head! this is because of hair! she has a big ol' tuft of fur on her head when she's in wolf mode and it makes her look silly. depending on how far along in transition they are, their fur is like... its in blotches over their body. a tuft here, a tuft there, no fur at all someplace else... her spine gets covered in fur first. bc its like !! hair to tail:)

her limbs are weird, too. her arms are more humanoid than her legs - my friend mikey @/monstertsunami shows this wonderfully in his art of alík and their gf idk who she is i heard shes some kind of loser? ermmm what the freak🔥

oh wow it let me add an image that time Awesome!!! anyway, you can see how her feet are pretty pawsome, huh?? shes got pawpads - is that what its called for wolves? i cant find info :( - and her joints are more.. like, look at how she's standing! her ankles! everybody say thank you mikey... !!! this stays in her wolf form, in a way

in the 'mentioned image' from before, you can see - ifyou can read my handwriting lol - that there's text around her feet/paws (peets...) that says 'human hands - fucked up paws'. in the linked image 'first one' , you can see her fucked up wolf hands more clearly! thats something that ive kept. i think she could grab you, even as a wolf. she keeps her thumbs. even if they dont work as well. this makes running as a wolf difficult for her, because her fingers are very much in the way !! herr back feet are more wolf-like in her wolf mode, even twisting her hips to work better !! opposite goes for her hands, though - her arms, like.. theyre not good for wolves ! her elbow is forced into a shitty position, her shoulders are.. bad...

and, as mentioned, her nose is fucked up. the smell of blood is an intimate friend of hers 💥it like.. god, her face goes through So Much. her skull gets absolutely , like ... goddd shes definetely broken bones transforming before... her nose is like, stretched out ? idk how to explain it .. its like if you used the 'free transform' tool on it

in short, id say theres a few main things that set alík apart from a regular wolf:

human eyes

human hands (sometimes covered in fur)

teeth

body isn't always fully covered in fur (its not easy for his body to bust out ten thousand fur strands all over his body, ya know? needs resources for that to happen)

movement (can't run as well, vocal cords arent probs in the best state after her neck fucking... look at it)

smell. she smells weird. oyou dont care about that but wolves would i think

then there's like, little basic anatomy stuff, like she will Never have the proper body of a wolf . maybe if she was like, for a year as a wolf, or two, or maybe even fine her body would be like Ok were wolf now . and her bones would settle ... but this is a question of years and time she does not have. her lifespan is also all kinds of fucked up. if she wasnt being experimented on evey day of her life ever, she'd probs live until her 40s? maybe late 40s if she had a HEALTHY LIFESTYLE filled with JOY and WHIMSY!!!! but i think now she'll die like, in her pafl au, i dont think she'll make it to 35.. sad! ouppy gone

also im working on an alík thing .. + the other two .. but also alík

CANINE GIRL coming to YOUR THEATRES in SOON!!!! hehe... im not making a song thats like too much for me. i can only make music that soundgs good to me idk how to make music that others would find tolerable .. my blessing .. teehee .. ill make alík like, a page, like the tptm girls have .. nina and nastya too:) nastyas mockup page is done.. but im not showing!!! you get a sneakpeak of the text tho . ty for the ask ❤️im surprised its letting me add images now . wifis been weird all day .. u also get to see a wip of her display sona

idk what her name would be . superlative girl ? unrivalled ? irrelevant ? victorious ? precious ? vote in the comments down below!!!Ninas will be some shit like. unknown girl. apathy girl. etc ... i havent gotten to alíks display sona yet but you KNOW shes ouppy!!!!

okieee‼️‼️‼️thats it . hope ur ok with me sharing the tptm stuff .... ❤️❤️💥💥💥ty again for the ask !!!

#ask #nonymous #alikcore #not gonna tag as nastyacore bc shes just at the end there . i dont awanna see this when scrolling through her tag #also go check out blazys and mikeys art i Mean it

[abimee]

I hope I'm not misinterpreting what you said; your comment on people's reaction to abstract art and things along those lines is how I feel about experimental and abstract music made as a form of art (which some people seem to Hate but is a very important art form to me). I don't have any fancy insightful commentary, but a lot of people just dismiss this stuff because it doesn't instantly draw their attention or makes them uncomfortable for whatever reason. It could be the artist expressing their emotion, trying to showcase a technique, etc any other hundreds of reason. I think regardless of if it's something made in satire, a genuine expression of emotion, or "it just looks/sounds cool!" or anything else they're all worth looking at and thinking about. That person's comment about "I don't think it's worth looking at" makes me a bit sad for that reason

no youve hit it right on the nail. i think a lot of people can be adverse to trying out new genres or even music styles theyre not used to because theyve become accustomed to like, i dont wanna call it ''palatable'' music but music where once again like art they can find something to project/latch onto. like people who refuse to listen to speedcore or lyricless music because they so badly need lyrics/something to attach to and cant feel the emotion within the instruments themselves

im not too well versed in more like experimental music but i know this was peoples reaction to 100 Gecs when they first showed up, because to them it was just ''loud, obnoxous autotune music'' and couldnt see the fact that within the music was laura les' expressions of her identity and emotions. this also just directly happens with classical music. people just wont listen to piano or symphonic music unless its like video game tracks or whatever cause they dont see any worth in sitting through ''long and boring pieces'' and have no concept of like how people express emotions and stories and invigorate a mental image without using words.

i also see this with vocaloid too where english speaking americans just outright refuse to listen to vocaloid/lump it together as an entire genre they ''dont like'' when vocaloid is nothing but an instrument used by thousands of different artists in different genres for different means. like you cant tell me that siinamota's "Metamorphose'' sounds anything like matryoshka by hachi. its all the same people just disrespect art like crazy for the dumbest of reasons

this especially pisses me off with people who only like the ''human sounding AI synth vocaloids'' in a way i cant explain. they cant get over the speed bump of a robot singing to engage with so much beautiful art made by people across the world telling their own emotions and ideas and stories and decide the entire thing is a waste of time. drives me up the wall

[carpisuns]

I just wanna say I have an old post of yours saved in my drafts, about being a beginner artist…. I look at it sometimes to give me perspective and reassurance. Thank you. It has inspired me to continue my hobby/passion even if I don’t get many notes rn. I improve and I see it! Thats all that matters. Thank you. I hope I can be that for someone someday.

oh wow 😭 this just warmed my heart—thank you for sharing with me. i don't know what post you're talking about specifically, but i'm so glad that something i said could give you a little extra boost sometimes<3

it's both cool and sort of embarrassing that this blog is a record of my entire art journey. i didn't start learning how to draw until i got into ML and joined tumblr again about 3.5 years ago, so it has my very earliest art as well as my most recent. the other day my sister and i went through my art tag and i was literally crying with laughter at some of those pieces alskjdf (particularly this one). they're sooo bad but they were my best work at the time! as much as i cringe to look at them now, it's nice to remember how far I've come. There are still so many things I struggle with and things i disappoint myself about, but that's normal because I am still growing. no one stops growing. the artists you look up to the most, whose work seems absolutely flawless to you, are still growing.

and YOU are growing too! whether you feel like you are or not. sometimes it takes looking back to realize it. i'm really glad you can see your improvement! honestly, that's a skill too! having a healthy mindset about your own development can take a lot of internal work so I'm really proud of you for that.

(i got very rambly so cut for the rest lol)

and honestly sometimes the improvement isn't even about what the art looks like—it can just be about how you feel about making it. I think one of my biggest improvements in the last year was getting comfortable with drawing and sharing things that are Bad and Ugly! for example:

the first one i drew 3 years ago, just a few months into learning how to draw. the second one i drew about a month ago. they both have obvious flaws and you could even argue that the old one is better drawn than the newer one. so it's like omg did i not improve at all after over 3 years?? did i actually get worse? lol. no! because a lot of the improvement is internal.

you'll notice that the first one was done in pencil and the second one is pen. it took me years to feel confident enough to sketch in pen because you can't erase! you have to commit to the lines! you can actually see tons of erase marks in the first one, but i didnt even use my white-erase tape at all on the second one. also, the first one is a screen redraw. i was just looking at the image and trying to replicate what i saw the best i can. the second one is new scenes/poses that came from my brain—not that they are very complicated/impressive lol, but there's a difference there. and what you can't see at all is just my attitude about drawing them! i can't particularly remember doing the first one but i guarantee i spent forever on it and was nervous about posting it. second one probably took me 7 mins and i knew it was ugly but i was zero percent embarrassed about that lol. that's progress baby!! cant even tell you how much of a difference it has made to me to let myself draw ugly things. i draw ugly things all the time. some of them get posted online. some of them get shared with one or two friends. some of them get shared with no one. and i've finally learned how to either embrace them as what they are or just shrug it off and go, "you know, this is not it! moving on." blank pages are so intimidating because you have a million opportunities to mess things up, but you also have a million opportunities to explore and learn and experiment and have fun and also to surprise yourself with what you're capable of.

i started out with nothing but a pencil and some powerful blorbo brainrot, and that was enough! that has been enough to power me through years of all the struggles and triumphs that artists go through. it was enough to help me push through every art block and keep drawing to the point that my instincts have improved and things that used to be almost impossible for me are just regular hard lol. i've actually illustrated for a print magazine a few times now, and a few weeks ago i finished my first animatic—which i always wanted to do but didn't have the skill or confidence for.

sorry this is so long, i'm just very passionate about this subject lol!! i just want every growing artist to know that if you keep trying and having fun, improvement is not only possible but inevitable. like, you don't even have to do formal studies if you don't want to. keep looking at art that you like and figuring out what is appealing to you. keep drawing what you feel like drawing. if you're no longer inspired by a piece or it's a little too tough for you right now, it's ok to drop it. you can come back later or never. you have infinite opportunities to make new and better art. and don't forget to give yourself credit for the progress you've already made. it's so hard not to compare yourself to others, and literally everyone—even the best and brightest—feels bad about their work sometimes. but try to compare yourself to your past self and pat yourself on the back for your improvement! it's okay to grow slowly, or in a way that's not so visible on the outside. just remember that you are growing, and you will only get better and better.

also, side note about notes/likes: i know it sucks to feel like your work is not getting attention when you poured a lot into it :( this might sound rich coming from me because i feel that people have been incredibly generous toward my work from the very beginning. but just know that popularity is not really about who "deserves" what, and it's not an accurate reflection of skill either. so if you feel unseen, that doesn't mean your stuff sucks. and you never know what your work might have meant to the people who saw it, even if there aren't that many. art doesn't have to be popular to be meaningful, and it doesn't have to be perfect either.

the world is a little richer and more beautiful because of the ways you are growing and the things you are sharing. so thank you, and please don't stop.

#anon #ask #nice things #positivity #art

[dracwife]

i feel so outta the loop with whats going on with that art tracer, they're also a race bender too?

okay so the art tracer has gone by many names over time. i used to be mutuals with them (i feel very stupid about it now for not recognizing them!) but they used to go by (in reverse order, from most recent to oldest):

- marco / red, who traced art back then as well (you can check my "mutuals.marco" tag for more of their art. i tried to give benefit of the doubt back then, but it is very clear their understanding of anatomy and other things does not quite line up with their physical "skill." look at the semi decent grasp of anatomical elements and proportions but entire lack of detail and messy linework on things like fingers and hair. ive noticed these things as ive gotten better also at art. they were into genshin, the quarry, and "apocalyptic" media. their card visually is the same, with the same strange typing quirks, tagging system, and carrd details as 'aray' (ie: the three emojis at the bottom of a small text box, with the key leading to i believe platonic or familial f/os i cant remember which.) marcos main f/o was buck from 911, which carried over to the 'aray' blog. theyve since deleted this f/o from their list. dina and ellie were on marcos list towards the end of that blog. that has since carried over. they also strangely had dragon ball blacklisted, as they do on their current blog, which is very likely because of the issues they have had with keke/@galedinner the past who, at the time of their old blogs deactivaton and new blogs creation, was fixated on his dragon ball f/os, and had some fairly popular posts regarding them.

- kayle, the shipper who also racefaked (at first to being wholly poc, then mixed, then 'part' native i believe because their...stepdad? was native? hello?they also faked did, and e-begged for money after causing a three-car pileup via distracted driving. they were into DC with bruce wayne always being their 'main' f/o,' and genshin. (this is where keke very bravely called out their shit, which is where their issues with him started i believe.)

- ana/anastasia, a shipper who also used to trace art, specifically DC comic art. they shipped with bruce wayne and jason todd.

- a few other blogs whom i never checked, but if you remember that "deactivation speedrun" thing that happened round a year ago on my blog, that was them also, also going by ana again. i called them out on clearly trying to weasel their way back into the community, and they immediately deactivated.

just to name a few. they didnt racebend, they falsely claimed to be poc more than once. they claimed i believe to be at points: latinx, native, and black mixed? i have talked to more than one person who has known them throughout all these blog changes/at different points throughout, as well as adding my own experience, in case youre curious as to where im getting some of these details.

this is how they drew their selfinserts (character on the right) btw, at least when they were going by marco:

i have added an image of my own arm and colorpicked directly from it, which is the the darker two colors -- mind you, i am polish and irish. im about as white as it gets ethnically, though i admit im not as pale as i could be for it. i picked from my natural tone and even from the lightest part i could see just to really try to throw a bone, and they still drew their s/is very consistently paler than me. and then claimed to be poc. (also, look at the hair. the clothes folds. the hands. its very clearly traced. no way someone is so good at facial anatomy and proportions and then...draws a hand like that. im sorry.)

its a clear pattern, and quite easy to follow through time via their interests and other small details about their blog/typing/tagging system/etc.

theyre not a great person, and im quite upset i didnt pick up on the kayle -> marco switch when it happened, but i try to give people benefit of the doubt. i have known them for years, though rarely interacted directly with them until they went by marco, though i dont know if they know i have known them so long, as i myself have gone through a few name/url changes since then (but it is all present on my blog. i have never remade attempting to 'be' someone else. i just think theyre not that smart to realize.) others im sure have more dealings with them, and feel free to add on.

#dex.ask #long post

[transredguy]

artist asks!!

9. What are you currently trying to improve?

17. What inspires you?

24. How do you deal with artblock?

9. hm. coloring and rendering i thinks

17. (bats my eyelashes) my dear friends and mutuals art.. also 10 million other things. i cant list them all ough but its mostly music like. trying to make it look how it sounds, you understand right (ive mostly just been listening to the bugsnax ost and lemon demon lately..) and dhmis, obviously hehe.. idk what they put in that show that completely rewired my brain but it's been making me make so much art... so many images...

24. i haven't really had art block in while. whenever i feel like im getting it im over it in 10 seconds. i guess what works for me is trying different things and not trying to stick to one art style, i remember constantly worrying about having a consistent style when i was younger it sucked lol. redrawing screenshots also helps, since you don't really have to put too much thought into it hehe

#asks

[istherewifiinhell]

okayyyy more. revisting 03s version of the 'leonardo #1' aka 'leo fights all those dudes in the rain' aka 'leo vs that damn window' aka 'one of wifis fav moments of the "i want episode were he pass away not because i hate him because i love him" variety'...

At this point i have seen. as fair as i know EVERY version of that specific moment. 90s movie (its raph actually!), 03, 12, mirage and idws (both incredible. i believe eastmans layouts for mirage, stunning. and soph. campbell art on the idw one. so EMOTIONAL). oh and its in the mobile game on apple arcade too. yeah.

and in my mind, 03 a lot of legs up, you get motion over still image for action heavy scenes, animation over live action for less physical limitations on the action, and 2d over cg, which specifically for the relavant eras on tv budgets, helps tune in the colour pallet and textures. is dark and its raining, can you can really see both. cool tone pallets and rain that just poors down the characters skin. at least in the close up shots. lol.

BUT i will admit. and oh i am not usually this person. like. kids/all ages media is gonna be the way it is. its silly to expect it to be otherwise. I WAS. a little struck. by feeling the absence of really heavy hits. like. he cant KILL people. its 4kids.... but as their throwing ya know. waves of enemies, and just using the stock animation attacks and cut away techique. its a little diminished. now it still has the escalation of stakes, gives you that sense of pronglonged exhausting battle, lets you feel both leos skill and when hes in too deep. just the composition/choreo leaves a little wanting.

THAT SAID. it IS a 2 parter. the adaption of the leo micro is part one. issue 11 is part 2. AND. OH i found out where they put all the animation! Its here. NOW this. pretty much makes complete sense when youre not me who just got sicko focused on the endurance sad boy test...

the second half is of course where you have ALL of the characters getting in the mix, an established set piece location of aprils apartment and shop. and you know, time for THE SHREDDER. to actually get in the mix. and not just get his guys to do the work. the difference is kinda wild.

you have a lot of really specific locational fighting, not cuting to the action lines background. constant awareness of where all our players are and what their doing. and when the turtles fight the 'elite guard', (about as literally as you can get to, they are mini bosses). i was thinking. Hey is this rotoscoped? cause something about the form factor of the characters, the heft of their movement, and the full body mechanics of the fighting. it feels so night and day. super impactful and very cool to see.

also what we call. casey with the good hair. instead of the flat middle part hair, they draw him with a bit of volume, some wavy texture... it really gives the impression he JUST tried a new conditioner thats really working for him... its not really here nor there. fun tho.

so. as much as i will silently morn not getting a rise leo no 1 moment (hell they could make it raph again. why not). just cause. god could you imagine? or any of the other newer animations... if you let the batturtles team do it they could get some brutality.. or if they do it in the mm show... shit.

I AM still, getting appreciation for 03 playing the beautiful game, of how you work your stories around animated tv show restrictions. just the previous arc, notes from the underground, has so much unique style of lighting, and one other shot that really stuck out to me. just the turtles repelling down a cliff, arms out front and behind, walking basically, straight down. Its necessarily such an awkward gesture, but it looked really nice, just for a short little transitional shot. respect.

#some shit #turbles... #turble redux #still avoiding agony posting. thats between me and the notes app... #ITS WORKING. so take that. agony. #mwah mwah just being on my shit

[jovialjuggernaut-draws]

I posted 741 times in 2022

493 posts created (67%)

248 posts reblogged (33%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@jovialjuggernaut-draws

@drones-art

@the-alice-of-hearts

@jovialjuggernaut

@forevercloudnine

I tagged 507 of my posts in 2022

Only 32% of my posts had no tags

#riddlebat - 224 posts

#batriddler - 200 posts

#riddler - 189 posts

#batman - 142 posts

#bruce wayne - 110 posts

#edward nygma - 94 posts

#the riddler - 93 posts

#edward nashton - 78 posts

#the batman (2022) - 55 posts

#edward nigma - 50 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#also im in a discord w lfwrites and. she said this was also sent to her so like. not really inclined to respond to a prompt sent en masse

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Literally ran to ur blog as soon as I could pick my brain back off the theater floor to post comprehensibly what r ur thoughts I am so AAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAA

oh my god no thoughts im screaming

holy shit

1) eddie was SO horny. the whole time. he kept up a boner in every fucking scene. that man was the horniest hes ever been. i think he came in his pants when he got cuffed. AND THEN STARED BRUCE IN THE EYE AFTER sticky pants and theres his fucking Beloved watching him hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2) the arkham breakdown.......... he fully believed bruce would fall in love with him then and there........... this really was the same eddie as batman forever he had the same exact pair of glasses and he was just as convinced one conversation would drop that man to one knee ring in hand

hed practiced that speech so many times but never saw past his heart eyes BRUCE you could have done something there!!! YES hes unhinged but now hes unhinged AND has your voice replaying eternally in his head digging at him hhhhhhhhhh god i love bruce making these men worse

3) Batmobile.... Sexy.

4) Bat boots...... Sexy.

5) Selina owns no good wigs and thats so funny. shes wearing the 5 dollarest wigs she could find

6) bruce punching gordo. bruce and gordo besties. this was a buddy cop comedy.

7) bruces shirtless scene being his fucking conspiracy board scene.................... if eddie had seen THAT fucking CHRIST heda been all over him like jam on bread i tell u hwat

tangentially bruce and eddie the same man. stalkers. creeps. standing there silently. watching waiting etc. love when theyre similar makes me fuzzy inside

the fact that bruce just instantly guesses the right thing to find the next clue so many times he and eddie think EXACTLY the same way theyre on SUCH a wavelength!!! the same fucking wavelength!!!!

anyway my brains fucking scattered and i need time to process and im so fucking hhhhhhhhhhgghh

i gotta write i gotta draw i gotta cosplay eddie in his lil arkham outfit w his shitty collar i need to learn to sing ave maria i love that man with my whole heart and soul i cant believe i wasnt kicked out of the theater i got so many compliments on my eddie jacket

296 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

#4

WHO ELSE LOSING THEIR MINDS TONIGHT

328 notes - Posted October 12, 2022

#3

himmmmmmmmmm

397 notes - Posted March 6, 2022

#2

today.... i am thinking about....

bruce taking the rats from eddies apartment home bc theres no one to take care of them w eddie in arkham and he looks up absolute mountains of rat care info and gets them an absolutely MASSIVE enclosure, fucking floor to ceiling, 5-6 levels, different stairs and platforms etc to get to each level, different chew toys on every level, and theyre fat and happy and he sometimes w take one out to sit on his shoulder and nibble at his hair when he needs a Rubber Duck for a case

and maybe also he goes to visit eddie in arkham once in a while and updates him abt how the rats r doing and its just that little connection between them like hes given the rats a better life as a proxy for edward and

anyway. bruces new pet rats.

601 notes - Posted March 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I find your power to rewrite history (create random bondage edits that get so high on google images that multiple people believe the Riddler just regularly wears rope under his clothes) to be awe-inspiring, and everyone should follow you if only to hear the next words of a prophet. What is the new fanon, wise one?

bruce wayne trans

835 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[bitegore]

you made drag strip's pussy so juicy, I literally cant stop thinking about it 😭 how did you do it??

sheer power of lust. this is the true answer. ill try to explain but the actual for real answer was "i was just so goddamn horny" and when you draw like you are a starving man trying to remember what a hamburger looks like TRUST ME that shit WORKS (if you ever want to draw gorgeous looking food don't eat for a day. You'll see what i mean. And then you should go eat some food.)

okay uhhh so the thing about liquid highlights is that they're like, WIGGLY but also very smooth. They don't cling to gaps the same way, they instead smooth it over.

like in this image, you can see that where the water is, the texture of the tile is sort of smoothed over, and even where you can see that the water is grainy it's a larger scale of grain. The thicker your liquid is, the more it'll hide the texture beneath.

okay now to screenshot my art lmao

liquid reflects very smooth bands of light because there's no real texture to it, but it wiggles because it's gloopy and thick. it gets darker as well because it's more reflective than plain non-wet textured stuff, so you get a small increase in contrast. You want your light reflections to be really smooth, so like the left side pussy lips look quite a bit better than the right n that regard.

where liquid is pooling, you get light at the edges due to refraction, hence the gloopy edging on the liquid on Drag Strip's thighs and Motormaster's hands, and also in that little puddle on the bed.

While it's obviously a little less like lovingly defined, you can see it here (with my color turned on because it makes it easier to see even though you can actually see that its covering too much area, and there should be a little gap next to motormaster's thumb that isn't there by shading LMAO). Every edge of your juice should have light. The more gloopy, the thicker the light passing through on the other side should be. In this case it's actually about size - water lays nearly flat and you don't see much of an edge; lube lays pretty thick; that like gel stuff you can use when you get a sunburn is even thicker.

you can see it to a small degree here, how at the edge of the water where it's dark there's still this sudden bright light coming through in a really small way.

this is KY jelly, which is a lot thicker and also visibly more in line with what I was going for. You can see how the band of light around the edge is thicker and that's because the downward curve is more pronounced. It's also internally reflecting light differently because it's rounder.

anyway that's pretty much the trick, is to just cover everything in gloop and be horny as all get out doing it

#red replies #thisisfrenchhouse #enjoy the advice lmfao

[noxiatoxia]

k so like, saw ur reply and got so flippin excited its unreal. thank you so much for the art tips btw :)) u are just so cooll for that

and ALSO LIKE I HAVE SO MANY MUCH OURAN THOUGHTS I CANT FUCKING FOcus especially referring to the shojo weasley twins auughh i have this one thats been eating at me for awhile.. (ive been really wanting to write a fic about it actually) cause i was reading up on codependent attachment styles and the more extreme ways they can manifest, particularly when things start getting delusional, and i started thinking like. kaoru and hikarus issues dont just solely stem from codependency, they literally never had a solid identity of their own. the whole "pretending to be the other" thing they do particularly irked me; they were each others shadow, so one of them couldnt even define their personality as separate through being "less than" or "the unnoticed twin" or something. they might as well have been one whole person to the outside world right? so like, how long before someone starts believing its completely true? like literally true. that this one person you are so desperately, suffocatingly tied to might as well have been yourself? and more importantly, what would happen if one day that person disappeared? what you would be left with, psychologically? would you start believing that you ARE that person now that theyre gone? or maybe not even that theyre really gone per say, youve just become them, or theyve become you? just to cope with the loss? and everyone would believe that youre actually them too, only reinforcing the delusion... you and your other half were identical, afterall.

okay its a really dark and angsty concept but like i live for the angst and im so so interested in the idea of them being separated for like excruciatingly long due to some really dire circumstances, maybe before they meet the host club? or maybe in this au im coming up with on the spot they never join the club at all? so theyre even MORE vulnerable to the consequences of something like this happening, and the need for the other steadily increases until they reach like a breaking point. what would that breaking point be? if/when they reunited, how unhealthy would the new anxious foundation for that relationship become? How possessive and/or protective would they get over each other and their shared identity as exclusively a couple? how scared would they be to even acknowledge themselves as individuals? how would their individual reactions differ? (i have A LOT of ideas but id love to know your thoughts) AND HOW FUCKING CATHARTIC WOUDL IT BE, IF AFTER ALL THAT, THEY GROW TOGETHER OUT OF THAT DARK PLACE?? THROUGH A STEADY JOURNEY OF LOVE AND HARDSHIP??? AND THEN JOIN THE HOST CLUB STARTING OUT AS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT DYNAMIC??? WHAT WOUDL THAT EVEN LOOK LIKE???? god i fucking need to write about thuiss ugghhh i need promptss anyway i know this was long lol but i am ACHING to hear some thoughts on this

HI DUDE HI!!!!!! firstly. your header. im looking at your blog header. i am holding a gun to your head. send me that image. i need it. i need it. what the fuuuck............WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!

OKAOKAY secondly...i also live for angst and exploring psychological effects n stuff which is a big part of why i love the twins' interactions. they are so mentally unwell it is insane.

I DO really like your commentary on how they are "each others shadow" because that is SO true. I know a lot of people portray kaoru as thinking he is "lesser" than hikaru and while i do think that's true, i think it's also true that kaoru knows (at least, until things started changing in highschool) that both of them were equally needed to "create" one person, at least that's how he viewed it. he specifically said "the one who isn't me is hikaru, and the one who isn't hikaru is me", implying the only difference between them was this undefinable trait of simply...they aren't the same person just because they have two different physical bodies. of course deep down they know they are different, at least kaoru does, but idk if they even realize how different they are. after all, being confused for another person your whole life and being interchangeable would fuck up anybody's self perception. in my personal opinion/theory, its only after the host club starts and differences between them become more noticable to the point not only themselves but the outside world, little by little, can start actually ascribing concrete and tangible traits to "hikaru" and "kaoru". I think it's at that point kaoru begins to think he's the "lesser" twin, or whatever.

anywho, BIG fan of the idea of one of them going missing/dead/etc etc and it affecting the mental health of the other big time. i've read multiple fics where one of the twins dies and the other twin just completely loses it, even begins to assume the identity of the dead twin as some sort of coping mechanism. it's horribly fucked up but that's what makes it so interesting.

what's interesting is, i have two different stories i wrote (well one at least, the other exists just in my head sigh) and in both of them, one of the twins either dies or is missing, and the effect leads the other twin to adopt more traits from their sibling.

to elaborate, i wrote a short story (less of a story, more of a whole premise post, you can find it on this blog it was to an ask i responded to) where kaoru passed due to taking his own life, and hikaru was left to pick up the pieces of that. the situation left him to be more introverted, secluded, and quiet, much like kaoru was. this included even picking up traits of his unknowingly, like blocking the world out by reading, something hikaru never really did but kaoru did a lot.

on the other hand, i have a fic i might write.....maybe.....some day.....where kaoru is forced to enroll in a different school separate from hikaru, and this includes living away from hikaru in a different estate (idk why their parents prob caught them engaging in incest who fucking knows with these two. do they know what they do in that club. surely they cant be cool with it). anyways, kaoru, feeling lost, scared, and indignant about being forcibly separated from hikaru and in an unfamiliar house, begins acting rude, snappy, and irritable. first day at the new school all he does is get in trouble with teachers and other students for being rude and instigating fights. he basically becomes full of raw emotions that he doesn't know how to handle and just. rages at people. kind of like hikaru would.

idk, i just think its an interesting concept, esp if their behavioral changes are not intentional and it just sort of...happens. could be a coping thing, who knows.

ughhh your concept tho..........exquisite. it reminds me of a fic i was writing here that....i need to finish.......where kaoru gets critically injured via an attempt on his life by someone and hikaru goes ballistic. but, taking that a step further, if something happened to one of the twins or they were, like u said, separated for a long time, i cannot IMAGINE how they would act once together again. somehow even more clingy and protective of one another i'd assume. hikaru would be very loud and obvious with how controlling and worried he is, just wanting to keep kaoru by his side 24/7, while kaoru i think would be quieter, just...silently following hikaru everywhere, being overtly anxious and voicing concerns over things that could go wrong all the time, generally not letting him leave his sight. the co dependency is real....

#;noxiatalks2ya #ohshc #hikakao #sorry for typos im too tired to proof read aughaughaugh

[kinanina]

pina colada, harvey wallbanger, & chocolate martini for valeriya, mira, & cassandra!! 🤍🍹

hello hello! thank you for your ask im so excited to talk abt my ocs lol <3

pina colada: if ur oc has a bag or a purse, what are five things that'd be inside?

i have never really thought about this one, so that's super interesting!!

valeriya: dried foods like meat or fruit, a map of the country, cool pebble and dried flower that azat gave her, spare clothes and water flask

mira: a ceremonial dagger, dried herbs for different ailments (that she doesn't really know how to use lol), a lexicon and a book on the land's mythology, water flask

cassandra: two cool daggers she took from her enemies, a map, ink and a pen, unread documents her right hand man gave her

chocolate martini:

now this is pretty fun and ill try to be brief.

valeriya was actually named after the mark ronson feat. amy winehouse song valery and the fact that i love that name. i esp love the slavic versions because they look more interesting and sound prettier to me. im still torn between her name being written valerija or valeriya.

on her design: well ive always liked it when female characters have big hair that then gets chopped off by them. (i blame naruto and mulan for that.) her design is a mix between many different characters, but the three biggest insipirations are kiba from wolf's rain, elektra ovirowa from cowboy bebop and winona ryder when she had short hair. oh also nausicaa was a bit of an inspiration appearance wise. ashitaka was more for her personality.

cassandra is actually vals mum. ive always loved the name cassandra, especially due to greek mythology and it's meaning. the name fits her in a slighty ironic way tho. (hint hint murder)

her design... well cassandra has changed a whole lot over the years. i wanted her to look more like val's mum first and foremost. they gotta look related. plus val is more similar to her mum than to her dad. cassandra's main design influences are most likely that one short haired robin design and valkyries tbh.

i gave mira her name because it means peace. and she's a character that really struggles with the fact that she has the burden of trying maintaining peace as she has to give up her previous comfortable life for it. she's also a selfish person that later on gets a lot of character development.

her design is based on art where people look like theyre glowing. also the mum in dune has this pink robe with a veil. i put that into her design too. i think that when i read vinland saga, i subconciously saw canute and thought that he may be a good inspiration for her design. i thought that her blindness would be a cool aspect since she can see into the future. oh also swans are like her animals since theyre hissy like her lol.

harvey wallbanger: post some images or a moodboard that fits your oc's aesthetic.

i cant post more than 10 pics and i am literally too dumb to make a moodboard lmao so <3

valeriya:

cassandra:

mira:

#asks <3

[only-lonely-lovers]

07.25.2022

tags: jerking off, marking... [whatever, term for "weirdly rubbing penis on you"]

Bird is あ / Avvy is つ

つ：dunno why but my morning mental image following me around the room as i go about my business has been tsukasa laying on his stomach pleasantly while amane lifted up upon his palm and knees over him is jerking off, and biting the loose collar of his kimono above his neck, pulling it up off of tsukasa's back. tsukasa is kicking his legs behind them happily

あ：oh a good day for him. thank you for sharing

you love the discrepancy that will start to occur like. if amane could let himself get this far at all. the fact that he'd be quite fraught still doing anything while tsukasa is like💕

つ：amane is breathing through his nose and looks frustrated, like a cat flicking its tail

あ：yes. it's like. it's always severe up there this guy

つ：you look at it like…. is this improvement? it is.

あ：guy looks mad that he is about to nut. but its an improvement bc he's letting himself nut here yk

wait i swear to god i was having such intrusive thoughts the other day about a similar position. though it was more like, knees on either side of shoulder while tsukasa is laying stomach down and amane is hovering above, jerking off. but sometimes like. rubs cock on your nape. it was kind of insane but. it's like tfw i get here i can't be fucking normal at all about jerking off in any way to tsukasa

you get this far and its like i have issues.

つ：oh whats the issue. he like has to be facing away and hands to himself. oh he's so weird….

あ：don't look at me don't touch me. [comes into your collar]

つ：[nene looking at this] and this is a good day for you?

あ：It's times like these she really has to be like I guess, there was a lot to their relationship, that Hanako-kun was running from I hope i watch this get a little less ???? ???? [no concluding thought]

つ：i hope it. something

あ：Some sort of gut instinct is like this surely isn't the final version of this . right

つ：a crude crayon drawing final mental image which is like tsukasa and hanako kissing and hugging, ? maybe like that ?

あ：🐠💭🫂💏🧑‍🤝‍🧑❔❔.... .. ❔

つ：no, maybe thats unrealistic….? [tries to imagine…. something less extremely different… hanako… looking pleasant/relieved jerking off above tsukasa, who is facing him] [feels weird envisioning this]

hanako-kun would not like this image i have conjured…. i should stop thinking about it………….. maybe I can't… even imagine…..?

あ：take a minute and ask yourself how often you have seen hanako looking relieved during sex in general

つ：oh god

あ：chotto matte.

つ：like ahm, wait wait. its not like that… even with me. now is it no, wait… he has issues with….. his heart, in general…..

あ：i think the closest he looks to being 'relaxed' would be like idk the smug egotistical streak but that's still kinda like [snarls] you've seen hanako relish in things at times. but he is kind of like a. maniac?

quickly trying to convey this pose also in my mind. its like. rubs cock on your spine.

つ：OH ITS ALL SO ENDEARING SOMEHOOOOW the dynamic is so funny fkls;jgkl;fkgj

あ：ITS VERY FUNNY. [final pam voice] god forgive me

つ：i think this is hanako at his funniest!!!!!! tsukasa is so heeheeheehee I LOVE IT!! god hanakoooooooo!!! its like tsukasa neutralizes his charm and also redoubles it

あ：chemically balanced

Does make me wish i saw more art of hanako being . like so awkward. his turbo virgin energy you know

つ：god do i wish. like a weirdo who cant kiss you without looking like hes crying

あ：looking like its really disintegrating him to want to kiss

ok.

[sends this image]

つ：WOOOOOOOOOO YEAHHH!!!!!! hold baby hand comfort him while he is being a bigboy confronting his demons (lust for tsukasa)

あ：it is so hard. for him.

つ：nene being the world's best girlfriend everrrrr

あ：patient good gf. generous

つ：giving to the poor [tsukasa] imagining hanako is skuffing his shoesies together as he does….

あ：a truly skittish boy. shuffa shuff...

つ：ah its my favorite to imagine situations like this lasting a very long time 'cuz of the anxiety halting nut….. just means it can stretch so long

the combination of horribly horny and yet trapped on the edge

あ：yyyeah it's just a common result of the sheer intensity, inability to relax, desire to flee. makes him really have to be handled like a tied up horse whfhghf… i imagine this is even specifically an instance where they have to do a lot of foreplay through clothes just bc amane is that apprehensive. its like when i couldnt handle a bj and needed pantomime… just rubbing and licking and breathing on thru fabric for a while. UNTIL it becomes so unbearable, amane himself has to go for pulling himself out

and then it's like hehe ok. lot of massaging with fingertips..

つ：needs to be given some kind of permission to touch it raw. so you've just got tsukasa breathing on it for a while which is already: I made a mistake i made a mistake taking it out

あ：this wasn't smart I don't know what I thought would happen

#22 #ghosties #i

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

Yknow smth ive realised is depression makes my imagination so much worse. Like, when i am well and good i can imagine things likeee. Real fuckin well. Sometimes theres bits that r difficult like 4 example if in a book i imagine a house 2 have a certain layout for like half the story but then that layout gets disproven by smth said like 30 chapters in or smth i find it difficult to just change how i imagine it. But usually i can picture things p fucking well and have a clear image of most things in my head (other than faces i cant do faces but thats unrelated). But when ive had worse days, that imagination sorta falters and picturing things gets more difficult. Ill lose track of podcasts n shit bc i spend ages dwelling on trying to imagine what smth looks like and oh look ive missed important dialogue stuff oopsies. But its not anything that actively stops me really things r just more difficult. Oh and also w art, when im all good i can usually daydream a lot and come up w random art ideas or story ideas. Whether i can then acrually DRAW them for realsies is an entirelt different story but thats got nothing 2 do w my ability to IMAGINE IT only good ol art being art. But yea the thing is when im doing a bit worse its usually a lot harder 2 come up w ideas and i instead will resort to making art of things ive already done or trying 2 do still lifes n shit that doesn't need my imagination. But then when shit gets REALLL bad. Like i can barely get out of bed bad. And also i literally am just waiting out every day bad. My imagination is just Gone. Like not even worse i just cant fucking imagine shit. And i remember for months i just. Didnt draw anything. When things were bad. But then when things got worse i started drawing again but with absolutelt 0 imagination. I just kept drawing the same things over and over and over. Bc my brain felt so dead and so focused on just whatever my depressed brain decided to focus on. That my imagination just fucking disappeared. Usually i like thinking of littke stories n shit yjnow 4 fun. But then during that time i just couldnt think of ANYTHING. everyone talks abt depression being stuck in ur own head but for me it wasnt like that. Its like. Being stuck so much outside of ur own head. But then also w the isolation i put myself thru i was also stuck outside the outside world. So i was just fucking stuck in my room and that was it. Literally everything was just my room. Bc my imagination was just fucking gone. Butttt when summer rolled around and i stopped being stuck in my pit, i could imagine things more. I havent done much more art but ive definitely done less vent art. Ive had more art ideas and ive started seeing colour palettes in plants again. I can vaguely picture things in descriptions now (altho its still veryyyy abstract sometimes bc i cannot focus 4 the life of me). And just like. I can fuckin imagine things again bc im not so incredibkt depressed. Andddd yea not so sure what the point of this post is supposed to be but yea. Imagination is like the basis of humanity and when things get Bad u cant do that shit anymore and it fucking sucks and yea.

#night thoughts #long post

[5i5014abifiges]

My character ideas

Oct 20th

I am really struggling with this module as i cant decide what part of my Myth/storyline i want to adapt my character designs from. I originally wanted to do a woman, the same women but 2 designs of her. One of her just being happy, living her life and the other design being her after the pope had decided she was a witch. I spoke about this with hugo and we both felt this idea was too simple and i would just end up creating a design of a witch, a design that has been done so many times. I didn’t want to just create a design that has been created over and over throughout history. The image that comes into everybody's mind when they think of witches, the hat, cloke and broomstick. 

Nov 18th

I have decided i still want to do my characters as the same person, before and then after a bad event. I like the idea of exploring how to design someone based on their emotions. I feel like doing this will highlight the emotions of the character more as when you see them you will compare the two. I feel like this is a great way for me to get better at drawing/designing as creating a 2 separate designs that have the same face and body, but different expressions, clothing and body positions will be a challenge. 

Here is a practice drawing that i did, I mostly focused on using the position of the characters body to show emotion: 

Made using Adobe Fresco on Ipad

This is a simple drawing, i think it shows the difference in emotion quite well. I kept the clothing the same to not over complicated the fact that i was just focusing on body positions. I also have drawn the sad character smaller than the happy one, as it shows her vulnerability and lack of power. 

I do like the idea of the sad version of the character being in this position as i think it really shows the sadness and vulnerability of the character. 

Nov 24th

The part of my myth story i am focusing on is about the IX pope, Gregory, hating paganism and deciding that black cats were incarnations of the devil as pagans used to worship cats. He then stated that women, who were inderpendant/not wanting to be controlled by the church were simular to cats and therefore were satanic worshipers (witches).  

I will look into other times throughout history the church has been misogynistic. 

Nov 25th

I have been researching into sexism in the church and i have added my research to Mural. During my research I kept reading information about Purity Culture and how sexist it is. 

‘“Purity culture” is the term often used for the evangelical movement that attempts to promote a biblical view of purity (1 Thess. 4:3-8) by discouraging dating and promoting virginity before marriage’

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/faqs-know-purity-culture/

I read many blogs of women writing their experiences of inequality in the church to do with purity. 

The purity culture is more prevalent in the US than here in the uk. I guess that is due to the US having a larger percentage of religious people. However sexism around purity in females is still a big problem here. 

I want to continue with the idea of ‘pure’ women. Possibly changing my idea to designing a women, that is seen as pure by the church and then a women who is seen as impure by the church. I am worried about how i would do this. I don’t want to create anything that suggests that i agree with purity culture, to look like they could be used by the church to push the purity narrative.

I will look into how people visualise purity, art that about purity and symbols of purity. 

Nov 26th

I have been researching more about purity and symbols of purity. 

As you can see, white is a big symbol of purity. This white is used to show purity in things like wedding dresses. Another symbol that has come up alot is angels. Angel wings and halos are used a lot in art, to show that a character is a good character. Angels are the opposite of the devil, and the devil is seen as impure and evil. By people saying certain women are impure is very similar to saying they are the opposite of an angel.Therefore comparing them to the devil. This circles back to the church deciding that inderpendant women are evil witches. 

As i disagree with purity culture, i might draw a women that the church would hate and think is evil and draw her with some symbols of purity. This will create an oxymoron and i like that. 

I could even draw the same woman twice

1. As a woman the church would see as pure, but using some symbols of the devil

2. As a woman the church would see as impure, but using symbols of an angel

I could use the symbols in the background rather than on the character itself. 

Or just 

1. As a woman the church would see as pure

2. As a woman the church would see as impure

While thinking through my ideas i am struggling to find a way to do this in a way that shows i don’t agree with it. 

I wanted to see how i could add symbols to my drawings, Here if a draft example of what i could possibly do:

I need to draw more examples of how i could portray this.