#also i do live in the midwest and ik its just Like This

[greatunironic]

omg ok so i have this thing ive been wondering abt re:most remarkable thing and that's like, how does steve navigate this scene of just insanely famous people his insanely famous partner is also a part of?? bc i feel like, he always Kind Of had access to it through eddie but now that their lives are finally properly intertwined it's all more real so to speak? like, does it kinda freak him out, is he scared that he won't fit in or he'll embarrass himself or embarrass eddie, is he worried about his own professional life etc or would it be more the opposite where steve is just there chilling being his sweet self and being steve and all these wild famous musicians are like :D hey its steve!!! bc honestly ik the first is probably more realistic but the second would be Absolutely hilarious like. "breaking news: music world taken by storm by just some fucking guy who's really nice. he doesn't even make music he's just there for fun and moral support"

i think it’s a little of column a, a little of column b.

steve for sure has like loads of hang-ups about how famous eddie is, and his role in that, and he's like i'm just this normie from the midwest, how am i supposed to compete with all of this?? he is worried about some professional blowback, but also he works with madchen fraser, who's been publically out since she started working at the school and also who once incited an actual fucking riot on school grounds, so he's like i think i'm okay on that front. (plus erica sinclair, lawyer, is just like always looking for a fight, and she's like steve i dare your administration to try it, i fucking dare them; steve's like, you were always my favorite.)

meanwhile, yeah, everyone in eddie's circle is just like: look at this fucking guy!!! all they want to do is sit down and listen to him talk about normal stuff, because he's just so delighted by his job and his students and they're like he's so nice, he's so kind, oh my god, ed, he is so out of your league!!! and eddie's just beaming wildly, like, i know!! it's the best!!

#asks or whatever #stranger things #most remarkable thing

[rainbowpotatocakes21]

I'm so fucking tired of being in the closet but despite feeling so open and so ready to be out, every time I have a chance I choke on the words, say some vague bullshit, or straight up avoid the question and it sucks because how do you learn to stop fearing rejection from the people you love

#its not like ive had bad experiences coming out either #but its like the fear that ive felt overwhelms the support ive gotten #like when i think about when i came out to my dad my first thought is always about the tears and the shakiness and the crushing anxiety #and my dad was nothing but supportive #everyone who knows is so supportive #but the more i think about just making one big 'surprise im gay' post the more i remember anything mildly homophobic that friends/family or #even strangers have done/said and i cant do it #like i could live with just my dad/sister being ok with me #hell i could live with having to get all new friends at school (tho i doubt i would have to get an entire new friend group) #but then i think about my team and its like how do i deal with their rejection? how can i be the one they trust to make the right calls #if they hate who i am? and like ik softball players are a lesbian stereotype but id be the first out player i know #and then i spiral and think about being the first out person in my entire family and if they turn their backs on me who do i have? #FUCK im spiralling #also i kinda want to write about my experiences as growing up in the closet in the midwest in a kinda religious family #but idk if that would make me feel better or worse #anyway advice would be appreciated #if you read even half of this crazy stream of thoughts mad respect #adventures of a closeted gay

[omoi-no-hoka]

What is your favorite thing about Hokkaido?

Thank you for your ask! I’m a huge nature person, always have been. And what I love most about Hokkaido is that it isn’t as crowded as Honshu. I could ride my bike for 10 minutes and be surrounded by forest if I so desired. 

Also, something that surprised me is that much of the flora and fauna aren’t all that different from that of Midwest America, which is where I’m from. So when I get really homesick, sometimes I just go for a bikeride along river and into the forests and just recenter myself.

Also, it’s just so beautiful here. Allow me to shamelessly share my terrible photography of various places in Hokkaido I’ve been to. (No filters on any pics)

What is Hokkaido without snow? (Asahikawa, Hokkaido, 2019)

Hatsumode is meant to be cold and snowy. (Asahikawa, Hokkaido, 2018)

You just become one with the winter at a certain point. (Hyobaku Matsuri, Sounkyo, Hokkaido, 2018?)

But summer is beautiful too. Mild. These country roads with dilapidated sheds make me think of my hometown. (Somewhere near Kitami, Hokkaido, 2018)

Hokkaido is where I can see my favorite color of green in the summer. Biei or Furano, Hokkaido, 2014)

Ah, the Blue Lake (Ao Ike), colored this incredible shade of blue due to naturally occurring minerals. One of my favorite places to go. The blue is truly mesmerizing.

And the flowers! So very beautiful. My dad ran a flower business, but due to extreme motion sickness could never go on vacations with us. From the age of 6, I vowed to take pictures of all the flowers I saw for him, and I still do that to this day. (Sunflower fields at Hokuryuu, Hokkaido, 2018)

Sometimes if you are lucky, you can travel on one-man trains that are just one little car and you can stand right beside the conductor (out of frame to my left) and capture some beautiful scenery. (Somewhere between Furano and Asahikawa, 2019)

Ah, and who can forget the beauty of the fall leaves? I took a little trip to a small town called Kembuchi, which has a lovely lake surrounded by forest. There I stumbled upon this curious young fox who got so close to me I could NEARLY pet him. I have a strange affinity to them and tend to see them most everywhere I go, even in the city I live in. This is why I always bow and give a prayer of thanks to Inari-sama when I pass one of His shrines.

And let’s not forget the ocean scenery. This is Shakotan, a cape that is known for its waters’ unique blue color, as well as the fact that women were not allowed to enter the cape for centuries due to the danger. Now there is a nice walking path and anyone can travel to the very tip, which looks like this:

Sure do wish I was a better photographer haha.

There are lots of little interesting towns hidden in Hokkaido. One such is called “Koufuku,” which means “Good fortune.” This used to be the train station for it, but the trains stopped running here decades ago. Still, many people travel to it, buy commemorative tickets, write their wishes on them, and stick them to the station. The inside is absolutely covered with them as well. Only 30 minutes away from Koufuku is Aikoku 愛国, the country of love. Many people buy tickets that say “from Aikoku to Koufuku” as souvenirs. 

As I established, Hokkaido is cold. It is common practice to garb jizo statues with scarves and hats to keep them warm in winter, and I think this is just the most wholesome thing ever.

This practice can be extended to other statues as well haha.

Lastly, something I especially love about Hokkaido is the Ainu people. They are an indigenous people of Japan who speak and entirely different language from Japanese and are thought have descended from the area of Russia many, many centuries ago. The embroidered patterns on their traditional garments distinguish which region they are from. Absolutely fascinating. I’d love to do an entire post on them at some point, but I frankly do not know enough and feel that I couldn’t do the people and the subject justice.

The Ainu were subject to much prejudice, and even to this day it lingers in subtle ways. My host mom told me that when she was a girl (60 years ago), Ainu people changed their names and did everything they could to hide their heritage, because they could not marry Japanese people and could not find many jobs if they were found out to be non-Japanese. 

Now the Ainu people can show their pride for their culture and heritage, and there are festivals in which they carry out traditional celebrations. However, it is a shadow of what it once was. Here is a video of some traditional Ainu songs and dances.

And oh man, don’t even get me STARTED on how good the food is here.

BEST SUSHI EVER.

#ask me anything #asks are open #hokkaido #japan #travel #travel japan #hokkaido is honestly the best place in all of japan and you can't convince me otherwise #only slightly biased #ikukokoko

[system-of-a-feather]

So this is gonna sound weird but google isn't rlly giving me answers and I'm curious. Is it normal to want to sleep in a/the/your bathtub, especially when the brain isn't great? I haven't slept in borderline 3 days and everything in me says to grab my stuff n sleep in a (at least mostly) dry bathtub. This thought always appears when my brain's scrambled so I'm thinkin it's bc I'm from the Midwest so tub = safety in (extreme) chaos/confusion? I live w/ other ppl so I can't w/o complications but I'm very tempted so i might. Also I low-key wanna know your thoughts abt this bc I enjoy all y'alls words n theories, amongst other things but this is too many words ✌

“(2/2)  I'm open to talk abt it btw! I don't know much but I'm thinkin it has to do w/ the security of enclosed walls/being able to physically (visually?) Block out the rest (constant overhanging knowledge?) of the physical world. Ik it definitely differs on a personal bias. Mainly asking bc no one ik offline knows n maybe y'all or others know/can expand? It's both interesting and confusing bc sleep deprivation ✌ “

---

Huh. That’s interesting. I haven’t heard anything about that and I’m not from the Midwest so I don’t know if that is a cultural / common thing related to the hazards of the midwest, but I could definitely see it being a thing.

To be honest, the bathroom is one of the most comfortable and relaxing places in a moment of high stress and anxiety because of the increased control and security I have when I’m in there among other things, both trauma related and not. In the realm of mental health, I don’t think the desire to sleep in a bathtub is all too weird. Its also I guess kind of crib like and might be helpful if age regression is an issue and the walls help with security or something?

I dunno, its a hyper specific topic that I really doubt there is any research or information on, but that is something really interesting to consider XD

I mean sleep where you can and where you need if sleep is an issue you have. Sleep on the floor, sleep on a dining table for all I care XD Maybe if you think it’d be helpful but are too shy of getting caught or something you could make up some excuse as to why you’d be in the bathroom for a while (taking a shit maybe?) and just take a powernap or something. With sleep deprivation something is better than nothing.

To be honest, a large part of our mental health coping and management in public scenarios is a LOT of expert skills in excuses / cover up stories / half truths. Our mom when she was learning of our messed up mental health would be like “What do you do when this happens at work” and I’m just like “Lel I ask for a bathroom break cause my stomach is mad and then take five to ten minutes to fix my brain” or something XD

We do a lot of weird stuff to self regulate and care for us around physical health / mental health issues and if we are in a place where people might judge us in a way we aren’t able to handle, I just kinda try to come with a sneaky way to still do that and/or risk is cause grabbing those moments of self care and coping - weird or not - is really important when everything is a mess tbh XD

-Riku (Host)

#alter: riku #ask #asks

[therandombanjo]

Songs From 2019 (one per artist)

Another mixed bag of stuff i either enjoyed a lot, thought was excellent or interesting (regardless of taste… sort of), emerging artists to maybe look out for, and generally music that for whatever reason connected with me in some way, including the odd earworm i just couldn’t shake. Some artists are left off just to vary a little more from some other popular lists. Hope you enjoy some of this too and find something new to be taken by. Please do buy their music if you can and hopefully from a local independent record store if possible to support their work. There’s a spotify playlist (below) for easier listening but I’ve also posted a few links to extra things on some of them if you want to check them out.  Spotify:

(As ever…. as i don’t tumblr or blog or anything (besides this list), this won’t be seen by many (if any?) people so if you like it or think it’s of any worth in any way, please do share this along)

In Alphabetical order:

A.A. Bondy - Killers 3 Abdallah Oumbadougou - Thingalene Alasdair Roberts - Common Clay Alex Rex - Latest Regret Andy Shauf - Try Again Angel Bat Dawid - We Are Starzz Angel Olsen - All Mirrors        bonus. her collab with Mark Ronson “True Blue” Anne Müller - Solo? Repeat! Antoinette Konan - Kokoloko Tani Arthur Russell - Words Of Love Asmâa Hamzaoui and Bnat Timbouktou - Sandia Baby Rose - All To Myself BCI - Grateful Bedouine - When You’re Gone Benny The Butcher - Crowns For Kings      ft. Black Thought Ben Walker - Afon Better Oblivion Community Center - Chesapeake Beverly Glenn-Copeland - A Little Talk     (from a reissue of her 2004 record Primal Prayer) Bibio - Curls The Big Moon - It’s Easy Then Big Thief - a. Not    b. Cattails    (from 2 excellent albums released in the same year: “U.F.O.F” and “Two Hands”) Bill Callahan - a. What Comes After Certainty    b. The Ballad Of The Hulk Bill Fay - Filled With Wonder Once Again Bill Orcutt - Odds Against Tomorrow billy woods - a. Spongebob w/ Kenny Segal     b. Western Education Is Forbidden    ft. Fielded        (From 2 excellent records this year: “Hiding Places” with Kenny Segal, and “Terror Management”) Black Country, New Road - Sunglasses Blu & Oh No - The Lost Angels Anthem    ft. Kezia Bon Iver - Hey, Ma Bonnie “Prince” Billy - Beast For Thee Bonny Light Horseman - Bonny Light Horseman      (”supergroup” of the great Anaïs Mitchell, Eric D Johnson & Josh Kaufman) Brent Cobb & Jade Bird - Feet Off The Ground Brighde Chaimbeul -  O Chiadain an Lo Brigyn - Oer Brittany Howard - Stay High    (the video for this, with Terry Crews, is a delight) Bruce Hornsby - Voyager One    ft. yMusic Burd Ellen - Sweet Lemany Caoimhín Ó Raghallaigh and Thomas Bartlett - Kestrel Caribou - You and I Caroline Polachek - Door Cate Le Bon - Daylight Matters Caterina Barbieri - Arrows Of Time Clairo - Bags Cochemea - Mitote comfort - Not Passing The Cool Greenhouse - Cardboard Man    (a pretty hilarious song about David Cameron) CRAC - You Can’t Turn Your Back On Me    (Unreleased old track from ‘76) Cross Record - PYSOL My Castle CZ Wang and Neo Image - Just Off Wave Damon Locks / Black Monument Ensemble - a. Rebuild a Nation   b. Power Daniel Norgren - The Flow Danny Brown - Dirty Laundry Daphni - Sizzling    ft. Paradise Daughter Of Swords - Fellows      (Mountain Man member Alexandra Sauser-Monnig’s 1st solo record) Dave - Psycho David Kilgour - Smoke You Right Out Of Here David Thomas Broughton - Ambiguity     (from the 15th anniversary reissue of his remarkable debut album, The Complete Guide To Insufficiency) Denzel Curry - RICKY Destroyer - Crimson Tide Dry Cleaning - Dog Proposal Dubi Dolczek - Do The Gloop Durand Jones & The Indications - Long Way Home Ela Orleans - The Season      (From 2012 but on a career retrospective, Movies For Ears, put out this year) Elkhorn - Song Of The Son Emile Mosseri - a. The Last Black Man In San Francisco b. San Francisco (Be Sure To Wear Flowers In Your Hair)    ft. Mike Marshall         (both from the wonderful score for the wonderful film The Last Black Man In San Francisco, the latter a cover of an old song sung here by the guy who sang “I Got 5 On It”!!) Erland Cooper - Haar Ernest Hood - Saturday Morning Doze        (from a re-issue of his “self-released proto-ambient masterpiece” in ‘75) Fat White Family - Feet Faye Webster - Room Temperature Fennesz - In My Room Fernando Falcão -  As 7 Filhas Da Rainha Sumaia     (reissue from ‘87) FKA twigs - cellophane Florist - Shadow Bloom Flowdan - Welcome To London Fontaines D.C. - Roy’s Tune Four Tet / KH - Only Human French Vanilla - All The Time Gang Starr - Family and Loyalty   ft. J. Cole Georgia - About Work The Dancefloor Girl Band - Shoulderblades The Good Ones - Will You Be My Protector?   (of Rwanda) Grand Veymont - Les Rapides Bleus       (of France) Gyedu-Blay Ambolley - Sunkwa     (of Ghana) Hailaker - Not Much HAIM - Summer GIrl Hana Vu - Actress Hand Habits - placeholder Hannah Cohen - Get In Line The Harlem Gospel Travellers - If You Can’t Make It Through A Storm Hayden Thorpe - Diviner     (Former Wild Beasts frontman’s debut solo record) Helado Negro - Running The Highwomen - Redesigning Women Hiss Golden Messenger - I Need A Teacher Holly Herndon - Frontier Homeboy Sandman - Far Out Hoops - They Say Hotel Neon & Blurstem - Language Of Loss House and Land - Rainbow ‘Mid Life’s Willows Ibibio Sound Machine - Wanna Come Down IDER - Saddest Generation The Innocence Mission - On Your Side International Teachers Of Pop - I Stole Yer Plimsoles    ft. Jason Williamson (of Sleaford Mods) Jacken Elswyth - The Banks Of Green Williow Jaimie Branch - nuevo roquero estéreo Jake Xerxes Fussell - The River St. Johns Jamila Woods - ZORA Jayda G - Leave Room 2 Breathe Jenny Hval - Ashes To Ashes       Jenny Lewis - Red Bull and Hennessy Jesca Hoop - Outside of Eden     ft. Kate Stables (of This Is The Kit) and Jesca’s 12 year-old nephew Justis. This live performance is so sweet https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUPmE_hU7Ss Jessica Pratt - As The World Turns Joanna Sternberg - This Is Not Who I Want To Be Joan Shelley - Cycle John Blek - North Star Lady Jordan Rakei - Say Something        bonus. under his DJ pseudonym: Dan Kye - Focus Jo Schornikow - Incomplete Joseph Shabason - West of Heaven Julianna Barwick - evening Junius Paul - Baker’s Dozen Kali Malone - Spectacle Of Ritual Kate Teague - Sweetheart Kate Tempest - a. Firesmoke    b. People’s Faces Kelly Moran - Halogen (Una Corda)       (from a record full of all the bare piano parts she played for her prior record before all the editing and processing) Kim Gordon - Air BnB Kindness - Hard To Believe     ft. Jazmine Sullivan KOKOKO! - Buka Dansa     (Congolese collective upcycling discarded materials to make their instruments) Konradsen - Baby Hallelujah     (of Norway) Lambchop - Everything For You Laura Cannell - a. Sing As The Crow Flies     b. Flaxen Fields Laura Stevenson - Lay Back, Arms Out Le Groupe Obscur -  Planète Ténèbres Leonard Cohen - Happens To The Heart Leo Svirsky - River Without Banks Little Simz - 101 FM Lizzo - Tempo   ft. Missy Elliot Loren Conors & Daniel Carter - Departing Lou Roy - Bite Low Chord - Walkk Lower Dens - Galapagos Mahalia - What You Did    ft. Ella Mai Majja - Black James Dean Maria Somerville - This Way Maria Usbeck - Amor Anciano Mary Halvorson & John Dieterich - Vega’s Array      (Mary the recipient of the MacArthur “Genius” Grant this year, because she is) Mary Lattimore & Mac McCaughan - IV Matana Roberts - As Far As The Eye Can See Meitei - Ike Melanie Charles - Trill Suite, No. 1 (Daydreaming/Skylark) The Menzingers - Anna Messiahs Of Glory - No Other Love      (from a collection of rare black gospel from the Midwest between ‘65-’78 put out on Tompkins Square) Mica Levi - a. Hosting     b. Lobo y Lady (from the excellent Colombian film Monos) Michael Abels - a. I Got 5 On It (Tethered Mix)    b. Pas De Deux (both from the terrific score to the excellent Jordan Peele film, Us) Michael Kiwanuka - Living In Denial Michael Nau - Poor Condition Mike Adams At His Honest Weight - Wonderful To Love Minor Pieces - Rothko      (duo of Ian William Craig & newcomer Missy Donaldson) Modern Nature - Footsteps Molly Sarlé - Twisted      (Mountain Man member’s 1st solo record) Moodymann - I’ll Provide Moon Duo - Stars Are The Light Moor Mother - After Images Moses Boyd - Stranger Than Fiction Moses Sumney - Polly Mount Eerie & Julie Doiron - Love Without Possession MSYLMA - Inqirad (Rihab-U Dhakir)     (Saudi Arabia) The Murder Capital - Don’t Cling To Life Nardeydey - Freefalling The National - Rylan   ft. Kate Stables (of This Is The Kit) The New Pornographers - Falling Down The Stairs Of Your Smile Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - a. Waiting For You   b. Bright Horses   c. Night Raid Nivhek - After Its Own Death: Side A    (Liz Harris of Grouper) Noname - Song 32 Octo Octa - Move Your Body ODD OKODDO - Auma      (Kenyan/German duo) Øyvind Torvund - Starry Night      (Norwegian composer) Pet Shop Boys - Burning The Heather Petter Eldh - Fanfarum for Komarum II Porridge Radio - Give/Take PREGOBLIN - Combustion Purple Mountains - a. Snow Is Falling In Manhattan    b. All My Happiness Is Gone   c. That’s Just The Way That I Feel Quelle Chris - Obamacare Quinie - Whas At The Windy Rapsody - Ibtihaj   ft. D’Angelo & GZA Reb Fountain - Faster Rian Treanor - ATAXIA_A1 Richard Dawson - Two Halves Robert Stillman - All Are Welcome Róisín Murphy - Incapable Rosalía - Milionària Rosenau & Sanborn - Saturday Rozi Plain - Symmetrical Ruth Garbus - Strash Sam Lee - The Moon Shines Bright   ft. Elizabeth Fraser (of Cocteau Twins) Sam Wilkes - Run Sandro Perri - Soft Landing SAULT - Smile and Go Seabuckthorn - To Which The Rest Were Dreamt serpentwithfeet - Receipts    ft. Ty Dolla $ign Sessa - Flor do Real         (of Brazil) Sheer Mag - Hardly To Blame Shit and Shine - No No No No Sinead O Brien - A Thing You Call Joy Siobhan Wilson - Plastic Grave Six Organs Of Admittance - Two Forms Moving Sleaford Mods - Kebab Spider Slow Meadow - Artificial Algorithm Snowy - EFFED    ft. Jason Williamson (of Sleaford Mods) SOAK - Knock Me Off My Feet Solange - Binz Sophie Crawford - A Miner’s Life Squid - Houseplants         bonus. Their cover of Robert Wyatt’s  “PIgs..... In There at End of the Road Festival) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DktZtQbo-YU Stella Donnelly - Old Man SUSS - Ursa Major Swamp Dogg - Sleeping Without You Is A Dragg   ft. Justin Vernon & Jenny Lewis Tami T - Birthday  Tenesha The Wordsmith - Why White Folks Can’t Call Me Nigga Theon Cross - Activate     ft. Moses Boyd & Nubya Garcia Thom Yorke - Dawn Chorus Tierra Whack - Wasteland Tim Hecker - That World Tiny Leaves - Respair Toya Delazy - Funani         (of South Africa) Twain - Death (Or S.F.?) Twin Peaks - Dance Through It Tyler Childers - All Your’n Vagabon - Water Me Down Vampire Weekend - This Life Vanishing Twin - Magicians Success Velvet Negroni - Confetti Vendredi Sur Mer - Chewing-Gum      (of France) Victoria Monét - Ass Like That Vieo Abiungo - Cobble Together Visible Cloaks - Stratum      ft. Yoshio Ojima & Satsuki Shibano Warmduscher - Midnight Dipper Weyes Blood - Andromeda Wilco - Love Is Everywhere (Beware) William Tyler - Our Lady Of The Desert Willie Scott & The Birmingham Spirituals - Keep Your Faith To The Sky     (from a collection of obscure 70′s era gospel on Luaka Bop, “The Time For Peace Is Now - Gospel Music About Us”) Xylouris White - Tree Song Ye Vagabonds - The Foggy Dew Zsela - Noise

#2019 #2019music #independent #independent music #bestof #best of #list #music list #musiclist #yearend #year-end #year-end list #yearendlist #bestsongs #favouritesongs #favorite songs #favoritesongs #2019songs #end of year #endofyear #eclectic #eclecticmusic #inclusive #inclusivemusic #diverse #diversemusic