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#also i feel like this song would give anxiety
stellariah · 23 hours
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comforting you when you have a bad day — headcanons
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⊹ word count: 100 words (ish)/character ⊹ content: sfw, reader/MC is referred to as you/your, fluffy comfort. ⊹ warnings: none. ⊹ a/n: I hope you enjoy these very self-indulgent headcanons. Sorry - no Mephisto, Raph, or Thirteen. I don't feel I know them enough to write them well!
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LUCIFER He'll do whatever he can to make the rest of your day easier. If anyone knows how upsetting it is to have more things piling up on your to-do list when you're already having a rough day, it's Lucifer – so all of those little things that pop up, he'll take care of before you even notice. Solomon set the kitchen on fire? Dealt with before you even got a whiff of smoke. Leviathan summoned Lotan in the bathroom again? If anything, you noticed the bathtub was absolutely spotless when you went to wash up at the end of the day. It's almost unsettling how smoothly the rest of the day goes. And just before you go to sleep, your D.D.D. pings.
Luci: Goodnight, my love. Get some rest so tomorrow can get off to a better start.
MAMMON
He knows something is up immediately. You could be the most stoic person in the universe, but Mammon would feel the change in your mood. He's not the best at talking through feelings, so he does what he does best: he'll stay close. Expect lots of little loving touches, if you're into it – resting his hand on the small of your back when you're walking, tangling your fingers with his when you're sitting together, a random back hug, a little peck on your cheek. He'll be blushing for the rest of the day. And if you're not into it, he'll just physically stay close to you. He'll also be extra protective - so help anyone that sours your mood further.
LEVIATHAN
Leviathan will distract you. He'll invite you to his room as soon as he's able to for an anime night or a gaming session or a manga reading party. He won't let you out of his sight (if he can!). He's very sensitive to shifts in your mood and behaviour, so he'll be sneaking little glances at you constantly so he can get a read on how you're feeling. If what you're doing together doesn't seem to help you feel better, he'll shift to something else. And if all of his usual tactics fail, he'll just ask you what would help. Levi isn't straightforward often, but when you're hurting, he'll work through his anxiety so he can do whatever helps you most.
SATAN
He'll be your shoulder to cry on, your listening ear, and your personal counselor, if you want and need all three. Satan knows how relieving it can be to just let it out, so if you need some comfort while you cry or scream or throw things around, he's your guy. He's also the best listener of the brothers, so if you're someone who needs to talk it out, he's there for that, too. And if you want some advice on whatever if troubling you, expect him to give you some very rational, carefully thought-out ideas on what to do. Like Levi, Satan would just ask you what you need and be that for you to the best of his ability.
ASMODEUS
Asmodeus has an emergency care kit prepared for you for days like this. Whatever you're usually up for along the lines of “self-care”, he'll have them pre-packed in a cute little box for you. Face masks, bath bombs, some good books or journals, your favourite songs or movies, a mani/pedi set – whatever you need to unwind, he's got it. If you want him around to relax together, he's got two fluffy bathrobes and sets of cosy pajamas ready to go. If you'd rather relax on your own, he'll drop off your care package at your door with a loving note tucked under the ribbon on the lid. It breaks his heart to see you sad and he hopes this little gesture of love helps you feel better.
BEELZEBUB
Like Lucifer, Beel just wants to make your day easier, but he'll be more upfront about it. He wants to make it obvious that he cares about you. With your permission, he'll carry your books and bag between classes or on the way home for you. He'll offer to take on your chores for the day. He'll run those pesky errands for you. He'll even help you with your homework if that would be helpful! Of course, you can also expect lots of snacks offered to you and meals brought to you. Would he peel an orange for you? Without a doubt. Beelzebub doesn't want your health taking a hit because of a really tough day, so he'll offer to help you take care of yourself.
BELPHEGOR
Belphegor knows that sometimes the best way to feel better after an exceptionally tough day is to have a really good sleep. He'll set up the most luxurious, plush nap nook you've ever seen just for you (and maybe him, too, if you're okay with having a nap together). All his favourite pillows and blankets and plushies are carefully arranged for maximum comfort. If you want, he'll cuddle you until you fall asleep, softly stroking your back to help you along. And if sleep continues to evade you, he'll make you a soothing tea or read you a book or even give you a gentle massage to encourage your body to rest.
DIAVOLO
You have had a huge impact on the Seven Lords, and on the Devildom as a whole, so it both hurts and concerns Diavolo to see you feeling low. Though he has an exceptionally busy schedule, Diavolo would make time so you can spend time together. While you're together, Dia will do whatever he can to make you smile or laugh, using his bright, jovial personality to its fullest. You can also expect a ton of reassurance and praise – he'll offer you little affirmations about how amazing you are and how much you mean to all of them (to him, especially).
BARBATOS
Barbatos is an expert in care by nature of his work, so he is the most equipped to care for you on your toughest days. He'll have whatever you need in less than the time it takes to exhale. He'll be extra attentive to you around routines, like getting ready for school or work or winding down for the day. Need help tidying your hair before you leave? Barbatos is an expert in hair care, step into his home salon. Don't have the energy to make a lunch? No worries, he's already packed one for you and dinner will be waiting for you when you get home. He may be the best masseuse in the universe, too, so if you're up for it, he'll give you a full body massage before you go to sleep.
SIMEON
Out of everyone, Simeon will be the most distressed by you having a hard day, but (other than maybe Satan) he'll be the most calm when trying to help you feel better. His presence is naturally soothing, so just having him around is enough to lift your mood a little. He'll stay close for as long as you want. Simeon is an ask, don't assume kind of person – he doesn't want to do things he thinks you'll find helpful and overstep. Instead, he waits for you to directly ask for help and watches you closely for non-verbal indicators of things he can do that he knows you'll appreciate.
SOLOMON
Solomon has a hard time sorting out his own emotions and recognizes he may not be the best to help you sort out yours, but he wants to help somehow. So, he drops little gifts for you. That pastry you were eyeing the other day at the bakery is waiting for you on your desk with a cute doodle on a sticky note beside it. A paper airplane lands on your desk and it unfolds into a sweet love note (bonus laugh when you watch Sol getting scolded by your professor). The newest book from your favourite Human World author is wrapped up (badly) and tucked under your pillow. He just wants you to know he's always thinking of you.
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©stellariah 2024 | do not copy, repost, translate, or feed my work to AI
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sunnystrollblog · 23 hours
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So some ideas that I think would be cool for the Borrower au (that you are completely free to ignore or veto):
The Borrower trolls do end up moving into the village but they pull a Canon Branch and immediately start building a series of Ant-like tunnels under it. Both Peppy and Poppy worry about them collapsing like the escape tunnels but eventually are convinced to let them do it.
Borrower trolls have a bit of a skewed sense of ownership. Like they respect sentimental objects but otherwise it's the Classic Borrower idea of "is it useful? Will you notice its absence? Good it's ours now."
To outsiders it's almost impossible to tell the difference between a regular Pop troll and a Borrower troll. After Barb's invasion this accidentally gains the whole tribe the reputation for being 'Preppy Neon Sleeper Agents'. This reputation is strengthened when the Putt-Putts come into the picture.
Ooooh I love these ideas and I’ll expand on it. When borrower trolls are reintroduced into troll society the other pop trolls have no idea how to interact with them. For one they don’t party much afraid it could lead a dangerous critter to them. So it hard to get them to join in group activities were there is going to be a good amount of noise. Not to mention that if anyone feels threatened at any time they can go in four different survival reactions. Defenders usually go for fight, scavengers go for freeze/hide, rescuers go for fawn and caretakers are a toss up which can be very dangerous for whoever makes them feel threatened. the first time regular pop trolls saw branch take down a large critter with no sweat was definitely surprising. They’ve also developed harder skin to deal with the rough ground in Bergen town
Secondly their diets have changed drastically since they were used to scavenging for any scraps of food they could get their hands. It’s not uncommon to catch borrower trolls taking discarded foods from the trash or even just storing away any food items given to them. And pop trolls sorta had trouble feeding the caretaker trolls because they literally refused to eat until all the younglings did.
And gift giving is a nightmare because of how practical these trolls are. Now the first time someone gave hype a gift our boy immediately broke it apart and basically only kept the parts that he could use for traps or another invention. It wasn’t until the troll who gave him it started crying did he understand that’s not a normal thing to do. So yeah gifts need to be practical especially clothing.
Now while some borrowers look basically the same as others trolls that’s not the case for many as their roles in the compound influenced their outfits drastically. For example scavengers wear things that can blend in with their surroundings so now that they live in the forest they wear floral clothing mostly consisting of green leaves or flowers that can blend into the environment. Caretakers wear soft and simple clothing so the children can recognize them immediately. Rescuers and defenders wear any protective clothing anything that can hold together in a fight and they’ll wear it. But if you didn’t know that about them then yes you’d have absolutely no idea you’re talking to someone who could snap your neck in less than a second and who’d use your body as critter bait
But there are still some things that are similar. Like hugs, now you might think they’d all be touch averse because of living in Bergen town for so long. But actually hugs and physical contact helped a lot of trolls when they lived under the bergens. It took away some of the stress and anxiety that living there caused and it helped them stay connected to each other even when words were hard to find. And music is another thing that they hold dear, now just because they couldn’t play loudly didn’t mean they didn’t listen to music at all. In fact lullabies and and soft instrumental songs were loved by all no matter the age
Anyway yeah they’ve all changed a lot since the troll tree. But they still are trolls and that doesn’t change just because they’re different now. Just means others need to be more accommodating
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galaxxies18 · 1 year
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「届きはしない思い」 「声にならめ声で」
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「T R E A S U R E Y O U」
Please don't repost anywhere else!
Invidivual versions below the cut 👇
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#i think about treasured a humanly normal amount#ALSO THE ANXIETY I GOT AS I WAS FINISHING THIS BECAUSE CSP ALMOST CRASHED BROOO IMMA CRYYYY#anyway this song is the bane of my existence#it gives me nightmares in my waking hours#i hate thing song i hate that it was sung by Team K I hate that Rindou's singer has a hand in composing the lyrics#and even in canon story rindou directed the play (at least for yoshino's side iirc?)#i hate this i hate this song haunts my every living breathing moment#i hate that rindou's singer also sings this as well for concerts#like YOU GUYS ALREADY HAVE MY WIG AND MY WALLET WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO SNATCH EVEN MY SCALP#mr donuts i dont feel so good-#10/10 song i would put myself under therapy just to forget this song (just to fall in love with it again)#i mean- song is mid#yeah#defenly mid uhuh#no one better @ me for this @@@@ you two bitches specifically#<- crying in roughly 36 hours? of doing this?#idk I didn't keep track of the legitimate time but I know I did this over a span of 5 days#“is kei missing a necklace?” yeah he is its called tactical redesigning im done with this sh-#the amount of details I had to go thru for the jewelry even though you can barely see it makes me (shakes fist)#ALL THE SHITPOSTING ASIDE I'm really happy with how the end product ended up looking!#I tried to recreate the coloring style they do in the game...it's not bad LOL#also idk how to make clothes but I'll be damned if I don't give him a Treasured outfit#also Rindou deserves to have hairpins c'mon donuts its free real estate#; galaxxi's art.#blackstar: theater starless#blackstar theatre starless#blackstar theater starless#bsts rindou#bsts yoshino#adding salt to the wound these three are gonna be singing for christmas- so 🧍‍♀️
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moonbakeries · 1 year
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HOW I MANIFESTED MY DREAM LIFE IN A WEEK
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BACKSTORY
So I decided to fully immerse myself in "persisting" and fulfilling when I listened to Lonely one by LOVA because I spent around an hour just sobbing because I related to the song.
the week that I started was around Easter break and I was under the most amount of stress I have ever been through and I could see it the effects on my body
I was breaking out with huge pimples even though I was on accutane, I was averaging 2 hours of sleep a day every week for 2 weeks, my period had going on for 2 weeks, I was losing weight rapidly (was under 35kg:( ) my anxiety was at an all time high because I got harassed again(sexual assault victim). I used to have severe depression and have had multiple failed attempts of suicide. AND YES I WAS DESPERATE AS FUCK TO MANIFEST THIS DREAM LIFE OF MINE WHICH IS NO LONGER A DREAM
in the mornings I would be super anxious but I learned how to deal with it and get myself into the state super easily
HOW I DID IT
I GOT OFF TUMBLR: you know how many times I doubted myself only to realise I was doing everything right
I also read and listened to Edward Art MULTIPLE TIMES
Within a week of fulfilling and persisting, I had manifested my dream life. just like that. I woke up one morning and everything I had ever desired was right there. and it was super easy.
all I did was affirm(to remind not to get), visualise and feel. I would only do these methods if I wanted to, if I didn't I wouldn't.
Within a few days, the anxiety lessened so much and it started to feel natural. 
this was a question on Bambi's " how I manifested with hard circumstances " post which has now been sadly deleted but I remember copying this because it gave me hope at the time I copied it (don't hope, just know)
"But isn’t ranting “not letting the old story die out?” you and i could rant until our minds are cleared, just as long as you flip my thoughts, you are on the right track.  I rant for 2% of my 24 hour days. The other 98% i was persisting in the fact that creation was done. as “time” went on, it began to feel more natural and I felt more at ease. I held onto that feeling because I knew this was when I would get my desires and I did."
and that was when I knew I shouldn't give up and I just kept going even when I wanted myself to just get on tumblr and overconsume 
I actually nearly decided to see what I was "doing wrong". I clicked on one of Aphrodite's posts but I didn't read it. I just asked myself if I would look through it if I had my desires and I wouldn't and since I already have all of my desires I didn't.
Whenever the anxiety was too strong and I could feel the frustration and desperation building up, I would just rant and it helped me calm down and get back into the state super easily.
why?
because STATES MANIFEST THOUGHTS DON'T
which is why you can rant.
you know how many FUCKING DOUBTS I had, but I didn't even give them attention coz they didn't deserve any and how many times I wanted to just give up, but I was like NO, STFU, I DON'T WANNA LIVE MISERABLY ANYMORE and now I'm not :)
The affirmations I used:
It is done
I am living my dream life
I am in my desired reality
The 3d will conform as long as i keep persisting
Imagination is the real reality
I also daydreamed, but since imagination is the real reality they were real
WHAT I MANIFESTED
- desired appearance
- name change
- family change
- skills (drivers licence etc)
- apartment and furniture
- wealth
- a bunch of random materialistic things
- desired friend group (I absolutely love them!)
- desired uni and always getting good grades
- outfits from pinterest
and a bunch of other things
- I also ended up manifesting an sp without even knowing and he's pretty much I everything I scripted him to be(scripted a year ago because I didn't really care for a relationship) but this happened before I manifested my dream life
after a year and half of being on loablr I finally manifested my dream life. and you can too
(there was probably over 100 things I wanted but I realised what I want is not much, nothing ever is when you know about loa and yes, i was super desperate)
you don't need anymore information other than @angelsinluv states post and fulfillment challenge
you shouldn't ever be stressed or worried while manifesting whatever you want, because you wouldn't stress if you had it
TAKE YOUR TIME
YOU GOT THIS
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mrchiipchrome · 1 month
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Call Your Girlfriend
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W.C. - 2.2k
This is a prologue to ‘New Girlfriend’ but I might make another version of it to give this a different ending…
Also much love to Robyn who made my childhood and the song this is based on:)
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“Call your girlfriend, it’s time you had the talk.” The laughter died down just the moment before Olga utter the words Alexia dreads. She knew that what she was doing was wrong, that going out with another woman when you were at home waiting at home for her was cruel. Yet she still did it.
“What?” Alexia watches as the girl beside her rolls her eyes, bringing her lukewarm drink up to her lips to take a quick sip. It doesn’t soothe her dry throat, the saliva in Alexia’s mouth turning thick and making it hard for her to accentuate her words.
“Don’t play dumb with me Alexia, it doesn’t suit you.” Olga’s eyes soften when she notices Alexia’s almost crestfallen look, taking the Barcelona captain into her arms.
“I don’t think I’m ready.” Alexia mutters into the fabric of the other girl’s dress, the badly lit pub barely letting her see her ‘girlfriend’ much less the judgemental look she gets from the bartender every time she looks in their direction.
“I don’t want to be a secret anymore, I don’t want to sneak around like this. And it’s not fair to Y/n to keep this from her any longer, it’s only going to hurt her more if we wait.” Olga strokes the midfielder’s hair, speaking carefully so as to not make her girlfriend feel any worse by the situation.
“I don’t even know what I’m supposed to tell her, ‘hey Y/n, I went behind your back and got into a relationship with another woman, hope you’re okay with that because there’s really not a lot you can do here, adios!’” Alexia is sarcastic when she replies to the woman currently holding her, running her hands over her face the moment Olga shifts her grip to settle on her arms instead of her back.
“No Alexia, just call her and say that you two need to talk, then just let your heart take over, she’s going to understand what you’re going through and accept it.” Olga reassures the footballer softly, trying to get her to understand that she couldn’t dictate what Alexia were to say to her official girlfriend.
“I don’t think that she’s just going to accept us and move on, I mean would you?” The deep breath that Olga lets out signals to Alexia that she knew exactly what it was she was doing, and that it wasn’t working.
“Alexia, just do it, you don’t have to do it out here, maybe go to the bathroom for some privacy.” The football player nods her head confidently, picking up her phone and walking towards the bathroom with sure steps. Alexia has to reassure herself that her hands were shaking solely because of the alcohol coursing through her veins, and not because she was going to tell you about her affair.
Dialing your number was something she could do in her sleep by now, the familiar 10 digit number engraved into her brain with how many times she had used it. Her nail makes a cracking noise when she chews on it, the loud tone her phone gives out as it waits for you to pick up the phone is slightly more anxiety inducing than the quiet atmosphere of the bathroom.
“Amor? Has something happened? Do I need to pick you up somewhere?” Your voice was full of sleep, a groan slipping past your lips as you stretch, the uncomfortable couch basically a substitute for your bed by now. You wanted to stay up and wait for her every time she went out, no matter if she told you not to.
“No, no you don’t have to pick me up anywhere, but uhhh…we need to talk.” Alexia’s eyes shift to look at the different things drawn on the walls of the stall, a couple of phone numbers and a few doodles of random animals. Anything not to look at her phone, that would be like looking straight into your eyes. She couldn’t do that, not whilst knowing that she had cheated on you both emotionally and physically.
“What do you want to talk about? What’s happening?” The blankets rustling and the creaking of the couch tells Alexia that you sat up, the worried tone in your voice something that she couldn’t avoid no matter what she did.
“Us, we need to talk about us. Something has happened, something that’s not your fault at all, not even in the slightest. I did something stupid.” You can tell whatever is about to come out of her mouth is going to break your heart the second her voice trembles, the way it shakes with uncertainty and guilt. You can almost see her, sitting in a bathroom cubicle in a random pub, biting her nails as she tries to get the words out.
“What, did you cheat on me or something?” Alexia’s heart nearly stops at your joking tone, she knew that you used humour to cope with the difficult feelings, a mask of comedy something you often hid behind to make it all feel easier.
At Alexia’s silence you understand exactly what she had done, and you can almost feel the way your heart breaks into a million pieces. For a few moments there’s only the silence, the tense, charged silence that makes Alexia want to turn her phone off and return back to her side piece’s comforting arms.
“I-uh I met someone, someone who understands me and loves me unconditionally, and uh someone who knows how I’m feeling without needing to ask. I don’t know how or why, but I fell for her. It had nothing to do with you, not at all.” As Alexia talks she hears the eerie silence coming from your end of the line. She exhaled loudly when she’s done, almost like a weight was lifted off her shoulders.
“Why? Why would you do something like that?” Suddenly Alexia hears how you sniffle, and she can’t help but feel like she’s going to cry too. A few silent tears slip down her cheeks, the salt leaving tracks down her beautiful face. Despite everything, you still think that she’s the most beautiful woman in the world.
“Please don't get upset. Please don’t cry.” The words come out as a wayward whisper, Alexia’s voice not strong enough to carry like it usually does. The strong captain of your team was no longer there, in her place was a cheating excuse of a woman.
“What do you mean? Are you fucking kidding me Alexia? Do you actually expect me to not cry as you throw a three year fucking relationship away like it’s yesterday’s news? Did you actually ever love me or was that a lie too?” The sobs between the words you speak makes Alexia’s heart feel like it’s tightening in her chest, she never wanted to make you cry. The guilt of her affair was slowly creeping up on her, every tear down your face cutting off a piece of her heart that you held.
“Don’t second-guess all my actions from the past few years because they were all genuine, I have never said an I love you that I didn’t mean. Come on Y/n, you know me, I never meant to hurt you or anyone else for that matter.” The way Alexia speaks so matter-of-factly just serves to make your heart break that much more, by now it has to be in at least a billion pieces.
But you didn’t know her, the words she spoke weren’t true, because your Alexia, the Alexia you fell in love with would never do something like that. She would never seek out another woman for comfort, the thought would never even cross your girlfriend’s mind.
“Do I know you? You’re not the Alexia that I fell in love with, the Alexia that I fell in love with would never break my heart into a billion pieces.” Alexia knows she deserves every harsh thing that you say, every cold flash going down her arms, every salty tear touching her lips, every single little thing that happened. You can hear the way she sniffles from your side of the phone, rolling your eyes at the way she was crying because of something she did to herself.
“I cannot help how I feel Y/n, I can’t help that I fell in love with someone else. Olga just gives me something that I didn’t even know I missed, the way she kisses me is different, the way she looks at me is different, the way she loves me is different. And I know that none of this makes any sense to you right now, but I just want you to know that I’m still your friend.” Alexia chooses her words carefully, to not hurt you even more than she already had. She needed you to know that she was there for you even though she had caused your hurt in the first place.
“Oh so we’re only friends now? Is that what you told her when you were out sucking face?” The words felt weird when they came out of your mouth, like they were foreign, like they didn’t belong being thrown at the woman you loved.
“No.” You laugh at the simple response, your eyes red and your face full of tear tracks, new ones being created every second.
“So she knew that I was your girlfriend and she still chose to go after you? Did you ever even think about how much it would hurt me when you were out fucking her?” It felt like your heart would break out of your chest, the way it pounded against your rib cage like a jackhammer. All the times Alexia would go out, saying that it was some event or a gathering she needed to attend, flashed in front of your eyes, the sheer amount of times making the tears start to fall once again.
“I can’t answer that.” Alexia hears the way you sigh, quite obviously getting your answer in her inexpressive one. You try to wipe the tears that just keep on coming, not making much progress at all in trying to get the stains off your face.
“How do you expect me to get over this, get over you? You have my heart in the palm of your hand and there’s no way that I can change that, no matter how much I hate you.” Alexia feels even more guilty at your sobbed confession, the sincerity in your voice leaving no questions to be answered. You were so utterly in love with her that you thought it wouldn’t ever disappear.
“You’ll learn. You’ll learn how to mend your own heart, you’ll learn how to love someone else, you’ll learn how to get over this heartbreak.” She speaks softly, like Olga did earlier as she explains to you how to live without her, how to fall in love with someone that wasn’t her.
“What if I don’t want to learn, what if I only ever want you?” It was like you’d opened up your chest to her, laid your heart bare for her to do whatever she wanted to, for her to crush between her slender fingers, for her to rip apart with her nails. You were so vulnerable, so weak, so dismantled in front of her that Alexia was taken aback, words stolen directly from her mouth.
“Then you’ll lead a life of misery, and I don’t want that for you. Please, go find someone for yourself, someone who makes you as happy as I once made you.” With the last breath of love that she’d give you in your lifetime, Alexia hangs up the phone.
A mix of sorrow and relief courses through her body as she exits the bathroom, feeling like a completely new woman. The weight of your relationship is no longer there to tie her down, no longer did she have to sneak around because there wasn’t anyone to hide from anymore. She was finally content for the first time in a long while.
“How did it go?” Olga asks her, fingers digging into the midfielder’s waistband. Her worried tone made Alexia relax, knowing that she had someone to go home to. She didn’t even think about you not having the same luxury anymore.
“Good, she accepted it.” Olga smiles at her, that beautiful smile that had Alexia falling head over heels for her, that smile that robbed you of your relationship.
“Let’s go home.”
As Alexia and Olga laid together in bed that night, cuddling and speaking soft words into the night air, you were back home, at the apartment you once shared with the brunette, crying until it felt like you couldn’t cry anymore.
You wrapped your arms around your own midsection, pretending that someone, anyone was there to comfort you right in that moment.
It was in that feeling of loneliness and heartbreak that you decided to take her advice.
You were going to learn how to love again, no matter what it took.
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avocado-writing · 3 months
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hi! i was just wondering if you could write some headcannons for astarion, gale, halsin, karlach, and shadowheart about what they are like when you're pregnant/them as parents to a baby
So cute! I love wholesome family requests like these!
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Astarion
When you're pregnant: he tries not to be too fussy, but let's be realistic, he likes to cluck about and make sure you're okay. He gets a bit overbearing actually. "Should you be doing that if you're pregnant?" sort of thing, you have to wave him off a couple of times. When you're asleep you hear him whispering to the baby bump about how he's going to protect them, make sure nobody would ever hurt them. (Also when you're in your third trimester the two of you like to pretend that you've gone into labour to get out of social situations you don't want to be in. He's all, "we have to GO my PARTNER is giving birth RIGHT NOW" then when you're far enough away you burst into laughter)
When you've given birth: as an elf, he only needs four hours to trance a night, so he's often holding the baby when you're awake. Speaks in whole sentences, he has no time for baby talk. "babababa..." "Mm, yes darling, I'm just worried this fabric is too sheer for that particular design." Catch him watching you cradling the baby looking utterly smitten from the doorway. He's happier than he ever believed he could ever be.
Gale
When you're pregnant: constantly reading up about magic to make things easier, whether it's to ease back pain or make the delivery more comfortable. Likes to stay up late discussing baby names with you, Tara resting on your lap and cuddling happily into your belly. Also armed with facts about the growing baby is during each month of your pregnancy, lmfao.
When you've given birth: wants to be there for every milestone possible, so takes lots of paternal leave from his teaching job. Baby's first word is 'dada' and he goes crazy for it, he's so so happy. Casts little, harmless spells which make the baby giggle - summoning Dancing Lights above their head to soothe them to sleep in their crib. As the baby drifts off you can often hear him whispering that "the two of you have made my life complete."
Halsin
When you're pregnant: knows all of the natural teas he can brew to help you relax. Always offering backrubs. Talks to the bump a lot, falls asleep with you as his little spoon so he can have his hand on your belly, keep you both safe as you slumber. Waxes poetic about what your baby might look like, whose eyes it will have, whose hair. If it will take to druidic magic or something more scholarly? All he knows is that he can't wait to meet them.
When you've given birth: the baby is usually in a papoose around his chest (when you're not holding them!) He's totally caught up in how lovely they are, how the two of you made something so wonderful. When they get a little older he is a big fan of letting them ride on his shoulders, encouraging them to run their hands through leaves on the boughs of trees and answering every endless question they can think to ask.
Karlach
When you're pregnant: constantly offering to carry things for you so that you don't strain yourself. Talks to the bump all the time. "Come on, kiddo! Mama can't wait to meet you!" Loves to have her hand on your belly and gets so excited when she feels a kick! "We've got a little fighter in there, I reckon!" Every so often asks if you really think she'll be a good mum, a little bit of anxiety creeping in - but you reassure her she'll be just wonderful.
When you've given birth: always standing over the crib to look at the baby, she just seems to happy when they're peacefully asleep. Likes to hum little made-up songs to them when they're settling down for the night. If the baby starts fussing for no reason, she picks them up and bounces them around until they're both giggling wildly. She is most happy when she has you in one arm and the baby in the other 💕
Shadowheart
When you're pregnant: does a lot of healing magic to help you with your aches and pains which helps a lot. She gets super into pregnancy books and is constantly offering you suggestions for how to make things a little easier - maybe because she feels guilty that you're the pregnant one. Offers up lots of soft prayers to her goddess for a happy family and your good health. The two of you bicker good-naturedly about names but do eventually settle on one you both like - maybe after one of her parents.
When you've given birth: constantly checking in that you're alright and happy as a new parent, because she is. Always makes sure there's a bunch of night orchids in the nursery. When the baby gets a bit older and is scared of the dark, she makes sure to teach them the Light cantrip so that they always have a nightlight if they need. And she teaches them to swim, just like you taught her all those years ago.
taglist: @ghosti02art @sadandanxiouswtf @yeethaw13 @trappedinlimbo15 @infinitely-kate @dhampling @wereallbrokenangels @tilldeathdonugget (lmk if you want to be added)
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lightwing-s · 3 months
Text
𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏𝐒
𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐯 ; 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬
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pairing: jason todd x fem! reader
summary: you're pregnant. somehow, your baby daddy has to find out about it.
word count: 5,6k warnings: pregnancy, mentions of abortion.
a/n: i wrote and rewrote this a lot, and I don't think this is the best I could come up with, but here it is. a lot more angst that previous episodes and I do recommend reading it while listening to The Flame by Valerie Deniz and also Give me Love by Ed Sheeran because I love how emotional that song usually makes me feel. Hope you all enjoy it ♡♡♡
reblogs and interactions are always appreciated ! ♡
links: previous ; next ; series masterlist ; general masterlist
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With a deep sigh, you tried to settle down your nerves. Your hands were sore. Sweaty. Tired of trying. The heaviness still lingered on your chest. The feeling of incoming doom. The air all around was thicker than you’d remembered it for, nearly making it impossible for you to breathe. And you swore to your reflection in the mirror, you were gonna make it through.
It had been three nights since the result. Two days of pain. And one single thought looming in your mind. Pregnant. You’re pregnant. You didn’t know what to do, nor what to think. Sinking into a pit of terror and despair. The idea frightened you, tore you apart. And just thinking of your future, of what was to come from now on, made your head spin.
Today, you forced yourself to forget. Pretend your life was normal, like it used to be. Not Much had changed since you had taken the test three days ago, but to you it felt like everything was different. 
You had skipped the gym the last couple of days, the first time doing it since you could remember, scared to face anybody and them finding out, but also too anxiety stricken to even leave your bed. You felt cramps, but also your stomach turning. You felt nauseous, but you weren’t sure if it was due to your newfound condition, or if it was the anxiety acting out.
Nessie had called, and you gave her some excuse that your boss needed you elsewhere. Another city. A quick work trip, you’d be back soon. At work, you told them you had caught some contagious disease you found on google, and they let you off for the entire week. Thankful for a relatively full pantry, you survived for two days on your own, but you sure couldn’t manage to eat much anyway.
You’ve never lived worst days. You were sure of that. Fear fills you to the brim. Sadness eats you up from the inside. And because of that, you felt even worse. There are so many people who dreamed of being where you were now, of getting a positive. So many have struggled for this. And here you were, ungrateful for yours. But you never wanted it in the first place. Not now, not like this. It didn’t follow your plan. It wasn’t perfect.
It wasn’t long ago that you were graduating college. And as of this moment, you were a mere assistant, not even a proper writer or a journalist yet like you’ve dreamed since you were little. An assistant. The bottom of the food chain, with still a lot to grow and harvest in your career. You neither had the finances, the stability, nor the time and mental capacity to be raising a baby on your own.
Because you would be raising it on your own, wouldn’t you? Your baby daddy would just disappear, like many others you’ve heard about. He would pack his things and disappear. He would live his life, continue with being young, having fun, while you were left to fend for yourself and your kid. All alone. 
Would you even tell him? Should you even tell him?
Three nights. Three nights of torture. Of overthinking the future and sulking in your bed, your pillow drenched with your tears. You knew you’d go crazy if you kept that going for too long. So, finding some bit of courage, some tiny little ounce of determination, you left your bed that morning ready to forget. Ready to clear your mind, to make it think straight. And then, you wished, you would know what to do.
You showered, ate, did your skincare and put on makeup, and went for a walk around the park. But you just had to step out of your apartment to find someone who made you think instantly of him. Running back inside and leaving your raven haired neighbor staring confused at you, you made a beeline to the bathroom, dropping your entire breakfast in the toilet. 
You had to tell him, hadn’t you? You had to tell Jason. It was the right thing to do, right?
So, here you were. Back at the gym you’d quit a month ago in favor of another. All because of your last encounter. You thought it was the best to be done, remove him entirely from your life so you could be free again. If only you had known then where you’d be a month later, you’d have laughed at the irony the world was throwing at you. You still remembered the times he’d come, praying he didn’t have them changed for some reason. Maybe he wanted to avoid you too. Maybe he had quit. Please, God. Be on my side, only for today.
It had been, perhaps, a full hour since you arrived. Roy had greeted you with a large smile, asking if you were back for good. You couldn’t match his enthusiasm, offering him a poor excuse of your own smile instead. All this time, you couldn’t complete a full set, never mind finish an entire exercise. Your body trembled, not answering you. Too exhausted. The heaviness on your chest helped in weighing you down and making every effort insufficient.
The weights you had tried to use now stood on your feet. Crooked, disordered, unorganized. Then, you found yourself looking at your reflection in the mirror. Your eyes were red and swollen. Your lips were dry and exposed some nervous bite marks you’d been taking off them. There were a few pimples on your forehead, and you had bags under your eyes. In the corner of the mirror, too stood the reflection of the one you’d been looking for.
He chatted with another man. It wasn’t Roy, by the darker hair color and shorter size. Yet it was a face you recognized, but failed to name. Jason looked happy, smiling as he spoke excitedly about something you did not know about. Were you really ready to tell him? Were you okay with ceasing his happiness?
Your eyes lingered on him for longer, and eventually, his eyes found yours. His smile was quickly replaced by a frown. An air of disgust and anger. His tongue poked his cheek, and he rolled his eyes at you. Turning around, he decided that facing the other direction was much better than facing you. Now, his broad back was all you were left to stare at.
You felt the nausea return. Leaving your things behind, you rushed to the restroom. He hated you. He hated you and he was fucking right for it. And what were you thinking? Telling him he was going to be a father, to your baby above all, at the fucking gym?
After dumping your stomach in the toilet once more, you wanted to get out of there. Collecting your things and shoving them inside your bag, you headed out. However, in good old fashion, you felt a body stop as it came in contact with someone else’s. You didn’t have to look up to know who it was. Eyeing you from above, Jason started to apologize before he could recognize who you were, proceeding to roll his eyes again. You excused yourself, still looking away from him, and his demeanor changed from anger to worry.
“Yn, are you alright?” he inquired, reaching for your arm. You felt your eyes start to burn, the tears finding their way back, and the nausea only got worse. Running past him, all you managed to say was a quick “I’m fine,” before disappearing.
You arrived at his building straight away, using the faint memory of the directions that remained in your brain from the night he brought you here. You were still clad in your gym clothes, not caring to stop at home first, nor remembering to actually do it. But it was fine, because you didn’t sweat anyways. You couldn’t even finish one full exercise in the hour or so you were there. 
So you waited. You waited on the opposite sidewalk, thinking back to the first time you came here. It was almost two months ago, or maybe more, you don’t remember exactly. It seemed longer, though. It all seemed longer. Longer than two months. Longer than three days. It all seemed like an eternity.
The sun waved goodbye on the horizon, hiding between Gotham’s skyline. The weather started to shift, as the warmth of summer slowly gave place to the strong winds and the coolness of the autumn days. The breeze made you wish you had brought a coat or something to keep you warm, the thin gym clothes you wore doing nothing to help you. And so, your body shivered.
Shivered from the cold. Shivered from the fear. The agony you’d so desperately tried to keep away returning back to you. If you went up. If you knocked on his door. If you talked to him, there was no pretending anymore. There was no hiding facts you so wished you could. There was no fighting reality.
A lump formed in your throat, and you tried to swallow it away, to no avail. Your breath, your hands, your legs, your all trembled. Fighting to keep yourself up when all you wanted was to fall down, to curl up under your covers and hide from the world. From the truth.
You thought back to the days when things were easier. To your days at the park, playing around with your friends, the hem of your jeans always dirty from mud, dust or paint. You remembered the days all you had to do was study, your chores, and your drawings. Reading books from sunrise to sundown, or for the entire night. Of when responsibilities didn’t follow you everywhere, and the perspective of the future didn’t break you down.
You thought of your parents. Of how mad they would get. There was always a path to them, a way to follow. A way to live your entire life. Just like they had done theirs. Any step out of that line often led you to trouble. ‘You have to get married to a good and respectful husband. One that will care and provide for you. And then, when the time is right, God will give you children to raise, just like he did to me and your father,’ your mother would tell you. ‘There’s nothing more shameful than a single mother’, were once the words of your father. And the thought of what they’d do to you once they found out had your tears rolling down faster than you could hold them in.
An old lady passed by you, asked if you were okay. You lied, like you’d been doing for the past few days. You weren’t one for lying, never was, and suddenly it was all you did. “Oh dear,” she cooed, and embraced you in an unexpected hug, before her tiny pomsky pulled her away.
Grey took over your surroundings, like one of those movie filters that left everything somber. A single headlight of a motorcycle let you know he was finally here. That the time of truth was upon you. You watched him park his motorcycle like a creep. Hidden in a dark corner, away from his sight. He had showered at the gym, and now wore a different outfit. Sweatpants and a hoodie. 
He looked comfortable. You clearly weren’t. He looked happy. Opposite to you. Were you ready to take all that away from him? To curse him to the same pain and anxiety you were feeling now? 
But you couldn’t do it alone. You couldn’t. You needed him. You needed him. You needed him by your side. You need someone, something. Something to tell you everything would be okay. Gathering up all your courage, every bit you could find within yourself, you took one step out of the sidewalk.
A deep breath taken before entering the building, you walked in without ceasing to cry. Each step you took up the stairs was heavy. Heavier than when you were drunk, and heavier than the day you left. Each step was a gulp. Each gulp was a scream inside your brain telling you to turn around. About two or three times along the way you stopped to look down, and wondered what would be of you if you’d just ran away. 
In your mind, you counted each and every step. An attempt to clear it of thought. It obviously didn’t work. Your legs shook and your breathing faltered with the last steps you took to reach the sixth floor. The tears had dried, leaving your skin cold to the touch. You moved on automatic. Everything else you did a blank stain in your memory. 
It was the feeling of the hardwood under your knuckles that brought you back to reality. The hollow sound it made woke you up, showing you’d made it to his door. Your breath got stuck in your throat, and you felt like you could vomit.
He took his time to answer the door. And you wondered if it was a sign to turn around. To leave. But your feet wouldn’t move, even if you screamed at them to do so. The ruffling inside the apartment made your heart jump, beating hard in its place. Your breathing halted, trapped in your larynx, as the tears started rapidly falling down again.
When he opened the door, it was like time had stopped. He assessed you through narrow eyes, still angry at you. You didn’t blame him, not at all.
“They run from you twice and still come right back,” he hissed. His voice was hoarse and monotone, and his eyes found yours in a blank stare. The corners of your mouth fell. Your chin trembled. And had to avert your eyes from him otherwise you’d start sobbing all over again. “Yn,” he called, and his voice didn’t show the hate or disgust anymore. It was worried. It felt pain. Softer and watchfull. “What happened?”
You took a deep breath, swallowing down the tears. Trying so hard to keep them in, but the drops that fell beside your sneakers on the floor were a testament of how your body had stopped responding to you a long time ago. Your shoulders shook, and Jason went from worried to desperate. He didn’t know what was going on. But seeing you like this made him freak out.
And suddenly he wasn’t mad at you anymore. In retrospect, maybe he never truly was. But whatever anger, or frustration he had disappeared from his body. You felt his touch on your shoulder, and you imagined he had just put one hand there as a sign of support. You’d be thankful for just that. But then, you felt his arms drawing you close, wrapping around you, until you felt the soft cotton of his hoodie through your cheek.
The tears ran down faster, soaking a spot on the thick fabric. Your loud sobs only made Jason pull you closer, not knowing how, but still trying to call you down. Whatever happened was too bad that you’d run to him of all people, and he felt obligated to help you in any way he could. 
By this point, he was holding you up himself. Your body giving in to the tears. Jason tucked his nose in your hair, breathing in the sweet scent of your shampoo. He caressed your back, kissed you temple, spread warmth through your body with his own hands rubbing at your arms. However, your tears ceased to stop, making the stain under your eyes enlarge, second after second.
“Yn,” he whispered right into your ear. The air he let out hitting against your skin.
You pressed your eyes shut. The tears that still lingered there being forced out. You tightened your hold on him. He called you again, and forced his neck to get a glimpse of your puffy red eyes.
You didn’t want to let go, but forced yourself to push him away just so you could finally face him. You felt your throat dry, a weak cough trying to fix it up. Jason couldn’t help the quick thought of how pretty you looked when you cried, but he felt so much pain in his chest at the same time that he wished he would never see you like that again.
The first time you opened your mouth, nothing came out of it. Jason’s fingers drew figures on your back, both a distraction and an encouragement. You can do it, you can do it. With another deep, long breath, you slowly opened your eyes to meet his.
“I-I’m…” you started, breathless. A single tear late to fall from your eyes. “I’m pregnant.”
Jason’s mind went blank. His body was suddenly weightless. The moments past your announcement, a mere stain in his memory. You now sat beside him on his sofa, your hands covering your face as he heard continuous sobs coming out of you. Your knees tight against your chest, and it didn’t bother him you had your shoes on the sofa. Nothing bothered him. Nothing was on his mind. 
Your body quivered, nonstop. His own unresponsive. What the hell did he do?
Pregnant. Eight letters that had the power to change everything. Pregnant. You were pregnant. With his baby.
Jason felt his chest tighten, and breathing suddenly was harder. He tried swallowing the knot in his throat away, but it wouldn’t bulge. Resting his back on the sofa, a hand threading through his hair, he allowed a couple of tears out, rubbing his eyes off any others that dared to hang around.
“Are you sure?” he asked, breaking the prolonged silence with a raspy voice. Moving your head from it’s place buried on your knees, your eyes looked at him with a pain he’d have thought he’d put a knife on your back. “It’s not that I don’t trust you,” he told you softly. “I just want to be sure.”
Straightening beside him, you stared at the cat worriedly looking up at the two humans occupying the sofa. You fiddled with your fingers, pulling at the fabric of your leggings.
“I took a test,” you started to explain. “Three nights ago. And my period was late, and it’s never late. And it’s not like we were careful when we…”
“Not at all.” Jason shook his head. You weren’t careful at all.
The room fell into silence again, the only sounds coming from the cat, now playing between his legs, unaware of the turmoil you’d just caused in his life.
“I’m sorry,” you said, resuming your sobs. “I’m so sorry.”
“No, no,” Jason kept saying. He turned on the sofa, sitting in a position he could easily wrap his arms around you once again. “No, Yn. Don’t be sorry. There’s nothing to be sorry about,” he soothed.
“Jason,” you called him, your voice broken. “How there’s not? I’m fucking pregnant!”
Jason held you tighter. But the truth was, he might’ve been just as scared as you were. A baby meant a new life, responsibilities. And he was still getting used to being an adult and the responsibilities that came with that. It was all going to change. And he had plans…
The two of you stood there until your sobs had quieted down. You didn’t know how long, but you were grateful he was quiet for the entire time. You were thankful he was quiet instead of  telling you any of the things you’d thought he would. And you were also thankful he didn’t close his door on your face.
“Have you thought…” Jason tried to speak, but his voice kept on breaking. “Have you thought… of all possibilities?”
He hoped you understood what he meant, because he couldn’t bring himself to say it. It was a hard thing to ask, but he had to. He didn’t want you to think he was pushing you to it, but he needed to know if it was a possibility too. Jason remembered hearing some friends saying they had their girlfriends do it, that they basically forced them. But Jason would never.
He felt you moving on his chest, pushing yourself away from his body, and his breath halted. “It’s your call,” he whispered. “I’ll be there for any of them.”
You had sat back up, hands tugging at your leggings again while you thought. It took you long to answer. Too long for his liking. But he understood your pace, everything was happening way too fast. You needed to think things through. For some reason, his stomach took turns, making him feel sick as he waited.
“I don’t think I could do it,” you stated, staring blankly at your legs. “I don’t think I could end it.” Jason let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. A lightness on his chest he could not name. He nodded, as words didn’t make it out of his lips.
Leaning back on the sofa, you felt his shoulders hit yours. He let out another breath, it was long and you found it hard to read his emotions through it. He was silent beside you, making it even harder for you to guess what was going through his mind.
That’s it, he’s gonna tell you he can’t do it either. He’s gonna leave you alone.
“You just took one test?” he asked after a while. You just nodded. “We should go to the hospital,” he suggested, head turned to watch you. “Get a proper test, just to make sure.”
His suggestion made you hurt. The fact that he doubted you, the fact he thought you’d go to him if you weren’t a hundred percent sure, caused you a pain you did not expect. However, on the other hand, you knew he was right. You had to be certain. False positives happen, right? You could be wrong.
 “Okay,” you agreed weakly, turning to face him after all. “I’ll do it.”
It might have been the uncomfortable chairs or the freezing air conditioning, but the time didn’t seem to pass. It was well over an hour since you’d arrived at the hospital, and you’d stopped counting how much you’ve waited for your test results to come out. They said between thirty minutes to an hour, but you were sure it had been longer than that.
While you remained seated for most of your wait, Jason was restless. He stood up and sat down more times than you remember, and he was seriously starting to piss you off with his pacing. Stopping in front of a snack machine, he put some dollar bills in it and took something with him before walking back to you.
Stretching his arm in front of you, he offered both a granola and a Snickers bar. In no mood to be healthy, even though your possible new condition sort of demanded that from you, you took the chocolate gladly.
Jason dropped down on a chair beside you with a huff, and took a bite of the granola bar with a certain annoyance. You were both tired of waiting, that was for sure. The agony you’d felt earlier had simmered down, but you too now sat restless, one of your legs shaking incessantly.
It was involuntary, but Jason’s hand on your knee made it stop. It lingered there for a while, fingertips gracing over the thin fabric and tugging at it just like you had been doing before. You saw his head move, and so did yours, catching his eyes. 
Your expressions had been everywhere tonight. The whirlwind of emotions you had gone through justifying each and everyone of them. But this time, his eyes bore into yours much softer, sweeter than they’d been before.
“Yn,” he called your name as if you hadn’t been staring down at him for what seemed like forever. “Whatever happens. Whatever the results say. I’ll be here, alright? I won’t leave you.”
The sincerity in his tone made your eyes tearful once more, but this time you managed to hold them in. You gave him a soft smile, and you were really glad he was here with you now. Putting a hand on top of his, he flipped it over so you could interlace your fingers, caressing its back with your thumb just like he was doing to you.
It was then that your name was called, both of your heads snapping in the reception desk’s direction. Jason stood up and walked over, grabbing a single piece of paper before walking back to you with even taking a glance at it.
When he sat back, he offered you his opened hand. You intertwined your fingers, and held his with both your hands, taking it closer to your heart this time. You couldn’t deny the tiny bit of hope lingering inside you that, just perhaps, you were actually wrong. You weren’t pregnant. But, over the hours, you’d also grown accustomed to the idea. He opened the results with between his thumb and pointer finger, and both your eyes fell on the big letters found on top of it. 
Positive. Again. It was positive. You were truly pregnant. 
You let out a sigh, closing your eyes to stop the tears from returning. Jason’s hold on you tightened, and you could sense the tension on him returning. He buffed some air out through his mouth, taking another deep breath before doing the same thing again.
“That’s it,” his voice was shaky. “You’re really pregnant.” He forced himself to smile, and you tried to do the same. To no avail. His eyebrows furrowed. “What do we do now?”
“I don’t know,” you replied honestly. “I just wanna go home. It’s been a long night.”
“Okay,” he said softly, standing up and walking with you hand in hand till you left the hospital.
The parking lot was almost empty, and you found Jason’s car sitting isolated far ahead. The silver Toyota Supra shone under the faint light of a lamp post, and you remembered how surprised you were to find him driving it. It finally occurred to you that other than his name and his gym membership, you knew nothing about the man you were about to have a baby with.
He didn’t know you either. Gosh, you didn’t know a thing at this point. About him, about pregnancy, about babies and having children. He asked you ‘what now?’ and you didn’t even have an answer. How the hell were you going to do it?
When he felt your fingers leaving his, Jason immediately turned to face you. Frozen in place and flooded eyes.
“I don’t think I can do it,” you said breathlessly. “Jason, I don't think I can do it. I never wanted kids. I mean, I’ve never really thought about it. I didn’t want it now. I wanted to do it all right. This is not it.” You cried once again, rambling the words that left your mouth. Jason had walked over to you, trying to calm you down and wipe the tears off your face. “I don’t know anything about babies. I’ve only babysat before, but they were much older. And even my nephew, I didn’t meet him until he was, like, six months old. And I don’t know shit about pregnancies. I hated biology. I slept a lot during classes.”
“How can we do it? I barely know you. Gosh I don’t even know your surname, Jason. You’re what, Jason fucking Linetti? How can we have a baby together without knowing each other? We’re supposed to build a family together. A family. My family… I-I never had a family. Not really. I didn’t want a family, Jason. Not now. I don’t think I can do it.”
“Hey, hey,” he cooed, stopping your rambling. He cupped your cheeks with both his hands, holding your face. His forehead rested on yours, forcing you to stare him in the eyes. “I also don’t know what the fuck I’m gonna do. For fucks sake, Yn. But we have time. The baby is not gonna come tomorrow. We’ll figure things out. Together.  We have each other, alright? You have me. I’ll be here, with you, all along. You don’t have to worry. We’ll learn how to do this together, and with time. Okay?”
Jason’s dark eyes passed you enough confidence to have you thinking that, maybe, possibly, he was right. You could actually do it. The baby isn’t coming tomorrow, you have time. You’ll figure things out. With Jason. Together.
Slowly, you nodded. You could do it, right?
Jason sighed, relieved you actually believed him, because as of right now, he himself was struggling to do so. Giving your head a long kiss, he pulled you into a hug before pulling away to open his car door to you to enter. Dropping on the driver seat beside you, you desperately waited to get back home.
“I’m Jason Peter Todd. I’m 22 years old. A leo. I work as an exercise physiologist, but I want to be a doctor someday. So I’m working on getting into med school soon. I love motorcycles, they are fucking cool and driving them makes me feel free. I have probably over twenty tattoos and my favorite book is probably Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.”
“What was that for?” You gave him an amused smile.
“You said you didn’t know me or my surname. Now you do, and you can say you know a little. If you want my social security number too, it’s 108…”
“It’s okay,” you laughed, softly, for the first time in three days. “I guess knowing your surname is fine for now.”
He gave you a smile, but raised one eyebrow at you. Confused, you frowned, trying to understand what he meant until he pointed at you with his head, leading you to do the same as he did.
“Okay,” you started. “I’m Yn Sn. I work at Runaway Magazine as Sandra’s assistant, but I really want to be a journalist. I don’t have any tattoos because I’m afraid of needles, and I can’t choose a favorite book because I like too many.”
“Nice to meet you Yn Sn,” he greeted, extending his hand for you to shake.
“Nice to meet you too, Jason Todd. Now can you please take me home. I’m exhausted.”
“Alright,” he gave you a smirk. “Do you remember the address this time?”
He insisted on walking you to your door, wanting to make sure you actually got home safe. You didn’t know where he thought you could disappear to between the sidewalk and your apartment door, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t starting to enjoy his company. 
The elevator ride was silent, and neither of you spoke as you tried to unlock your front door.
“Thank god,” you said. Relief spread through you as the door opened and you got into your home. Immediately taking off your sneakers, you placed them by the door so they could keep it open for you. Looking back at Jason, who still didn’t dare step inside your apartment, you managed to give him a thankful smile. “And thank you too, Jason.”
“You don’t have to thank me. It’s not even the least I can do, it’s my responsibility now.”
“But still, thank you. There were many ways out for you, and you took none,” you explained, resting your shoulder on the door frame.
“Yn, you didn’t make this baby alone” he began. “I saw your state when you knocked on my door, and I also made you a promise. I don’t usually break them.”
For a brief minute, you two stood in silence again. Eyes lingering over each other. A recognizable tension in the air. You averted your eyes from him, as warmth engulfed your cheeks, the painted nails on your toes suddenly a lot more interesting to you.
“I’ll be going then. Call me if you need anything, alright?” he said, already halfway to the elevator.
“Jason,” you called and he turned back. Hopeful. “Do you even have my number?”
He stopped to think, and a dumb smile appeared on his face upon realizing he had never asked you for your number, nor did he ever give you his. Taking his phone out of his sweatpants pockets, he handed it to you. “If you don’t mind. I think I really should have your number.” He combed a hand through his hair.
You typed in your phone number, trying to think of what to write your name as, but concluding your name would be just fine. You gave yourself a call so you could save his too later, and returned him his cellphone.
He awkwardly waved you goodbye, and called the elevator that opened up instantly, not having left your floor since you had gotten home. You watched him as the door began to close, head hanging low and a tired demeanor. 
“Jason?” you called again, and he put his hand on the door just as it was about to fully close. It opened again, and he placed his hands on each side of the door frame. “Thank you,” you said softly.
“Stop thanking me,” he laughed and now allowed the door to close.
You stood there, dumbfoundedly watching the closed door as you swiftly repeated the entire night in your head. Every moment of pain, despair and torture morphing into nervous expectation of the future that was about to come.
You didn’t allow yourself to think too much about it. An entire day was already enough, you needed rest.
A rumbling beside you grabbed your attention, and your head turned to your friend’s door. Nessie poked her head out, clearly surprised to see you there.
“Weren’t you on a trip?” she asked, and you shook your head, leaving her a lot more confused.
“There’s so much we need to talk,” you sighed, allowing your weight to fall on her as you engulfed her in a tight hug.
.
.
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sports-on-sundays · 2 months
Text
and I can change / CL16 / Part 2
Summary: dad!Charles x French!ex!reader - Charles would do anything to convince you to forgive him. He'd do anything to revive his family.
Warnings: Again, Y/s/n is 'your son's name'. And again, his age is unspecified- you decide what you think. crying (LOTS of crying), mention of drunkenness, mention of sex, mention of cheating, broken relationships, broken family, censored cussing
Requested?: Yeah! Requested by some sweet souls who read part 1! @barcelonaloverf1life @architect-2015 @emz2092 @cilliansgirl @lunamelona @lightdragonrayne @leclercgirl16
Author's Note: You guys asked for it, so I gave it! I hope you enjoy! Same song as inspiration. Also I'm thinking after this part I'll write a part 3, and then after that maybe a little epilogue, to wrap this up. Tell me what you think. Also, this is the link to part 1 / and the link to part 3
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"Y/n, people change.
"And I can change, too."
You lay on your bed, engulfed in the darkness of the room surrounding you. The darkness seems to go deeper than just your surroundings- deeper, and into you.
Over and over the scene plays through your mind. Those words that Charles had uttered. The way he had clutched your hand in both of his, as if it were his only lifeline. In that moment, the desperation his eyes had denoted was incredible.
Charles, why? Why couldn't you let go? You're making it all so much more complicated.
But you know what he would say. Why? Why, Y/n? Because this isn't just about myself. Don't you see the brokenness in our son? Don't you see it?
Guilt washes over you, and then rage.
I shouldn't be the one feeling guilt. He should. He's the one who messed up our family. He's the one who's fault it is!
The way he cried, though.
The desperation.
The thing is that he is feeling guilty. Or at least so it seemed.
But does he really deserve a second chance? Do you?
Your phone rings at 12:00 A.M. On the dot. Charles has always been on the dot. Unless he's drunk, that is.
Why is he calling?
Right when I'm thinking about him, too.
Although this really isn't too surprising, when you consider it. For the past week and a half or so, you've stayed up until roughly 2:00 in the morning, staring at the ceiling, thinking, unable to convince yourself into peace and slumber.
And now a call comes.
Charles, why?
It feels terrible as you answer. "Charles. Don't call me."
"Y/n," he says in a calm voice. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" you snap, trying to keep it down. Your son is sleeping (hopefully) in the next room.
"For reacting so emotionally. I'm sorry. For years this has weighed on me, but crying and begging won't get us anywhere."
"We're not going anywhere, whether you cry and beg or not." You hang up.
A month after that call where you rejected Charles for what you hoped would be the last time, there's a knock on the door on a Saturday. You walk to it, and freeze when you look through the peephole.
Why is Charles Leclerc here?
Anxiety hits you. The house is a mess, you've got no food to give him, you look like a mess in your pajamas and unbrushed hair-
How can he just show up at your door like this?
It's obnoxious.
You honestly are about to pretend you aren't home, but then Y/s/n suddenly runs in, squealing, "Mama, who is it?! Is it the mailman?"
You sigh at your son's strange fascination for the mailman. You're not completely sure why he enjoys the young, dry, monotone mailman, and for years just assumed because he was generally a nice bloke, and little kids are weird, until you realized with an ounce of dread that the mailman resembles Charles, in a way. After that, you've never encouraged his enthusiasm for the mailman, just in case that was the reason, whether conscious or not.
"No, no," you sigh, unlocking the door. "It's not the mailman, love."
"Who is it, Mama?"
As you swing the door open, you murmur, "Well, love, none other but your father."
"Daddy!" the little boy, still in his Lightning McQueen pajamas, squeals, running to hug his father. You glance away, staring at the floor.
Charles hugs your son, kissing him, and exclaims, "Aw, there's my little buddy! How are you, man?"
"I'm good, Daddy! Are you coming to live here now, Daddy?!"
"Ugh- Not quite..." He picks up your son, and looks to you, immediately saying, "Sorry it's such short notice."
You grit your teeth, murmuring, "You mean no notice?"
"Right," he nods with a quick exhale.
While the presence of your son is a burden for you, preventing you from showing your true feelings, it may be an advantage for Charles, to get across what he needs to get across. Whatever that may be.
Because this is all just a game. Everyone with their own different motives. Y/s/n wants Mama and Daddy to love each other because he wants one place to live. Charles' motives are unknown, but probably are just manipulative and selfish- about making himself feel better. And your motive? You don't want to relive the past, so will avoid Charles at all costs.
Charles' and Y/s/n's motives align more with each other than your's.
You look at your son. Who you love so much. He looks at you with hope. Charles looks at you with... a very similar expression.
These two.
How can you love one and hate the other?
They're both family, as much as you hate to admit it. Because one of them, you wish you could erase.
No. But you don't. Because if you'd never met Charles, Y/s/n would never have been born. And you can't even begin to imagine your life without him.
You hold the door open, and gesture to the couch. "Sit down, Charles. I'm going to get dressed, and then put the kettle on." You say all this through gritted teeth.
How can he just walk in as if he owns the place?
He nods. "Thank you, Y/n." You watch in the doorway to the hall as Charles sits down on the couch with his son on his lap. You watch as he says softly, picking up a toy car from off the rug, "This car is awesome, Y/s/n. Where'd you get it?"
"Mama got it for me! For my birthday!" Y/s/n takes it from his father's hand with much pride, and starts driving it across Charles' chest, up onto his neck, and eventually onto his cheeks. The whole time, Charles laughs, his hand on his son's back to keep him from tipping off his lap.
"That's a super cool car. Does it have a name?"
"Uhhh," Y/s/n frowns. "Zoom! Because he goes zooooom!"
"Oh, it's a he?"
"Of course," Y/s/n says, as if this fact should be obvious. Then he giggles, "Because girls smell."
"They smell?! No way. Girls don't smell."
"Yeah, they do," he crosses his arms, frowning at his father. "You don't know any girls. You only know... Uh, Cah-los."
Charles laughs out loud. "The only person I know is 'Cah-los'?"
"Yep! And Uncle Arthur and Uncle Lorenzo, but that's it!" your son claims in a very matter-of-fact tone.
Their conversation continues, but you finally turn to leave and get yourself fixed up. You quickly shower, brush your teeth and hair, put on moisturizing cream, perfume, and deodorant, and put on a beige hoodie, grey sweatpants, and slides, before going to make tea. The whole time, you mind swirls.
Why is he here? Why is he here on a Saturday? Why is he here, without even asking to come? It's so... obnoxious.
You finish making two cups of tea, finding with awe as you make them that you remember exactly the way Charles likes his tea, and you're doing it automatically.
Because I used to do this so much.
You walk back in with the tea and see the two boys sitting on the rug now. Charles is tickling Y/s/n's tummy, and both of them are laughing- Charles with more of a chuckle and Y/s/n with more of a squealing giggle. When Charles sees you, he slowly stops, saying with a little sigh, "Alright, bud. Mama's back with my tea, and I mean to drink it."
"But Daddyyy!"
"Nope!" he grins, standing up, ruffling his son's messy hair. He then walks to you, and you hand him his tea. He lights up when he tastes the tea and looks at you, muttering softly, "My God, you remembered how I like my tea...?"
"Don't jump to sh*t, Charles," you murmur, soft enough for Y/s/n not to hear.
"Right," he sighs, sitting down again on the couch.
You set your tea down, walking to your son. "Alright, love. I want you to go in your room now, okay? Remember the Lego plane you were building? Why don't you work on that? I want to see it once it's finished, okay? And if you need anything, call, okay? Don't come in here. Just call, and one of us will come."
He looks questioningly. "Why, Mama?"
"Me and your father have important things to talk about. And if you don't listen, there will be consequences."
He blinks, pouting.
"I'll turn on your storybook audio for you. Come on." You bring him to his room and get him set up, until you're sure he's completely distracted with the Legos and the storybook. Only then do you come back to the living room and sit down awkwardly next to Charles.
He's still wearing his red windbreaker from when he was outside, and a black scarf hangs loose around his neck. His hair is a bit messed up, but he looks perfect, like always.
Too perfect.
"Let me take your scarf and jacket. And your shoes."
"Right," he says with a swift nod, handing you his scarf, coat, and sleek black boots. You put them by the door, and sit down, viewing the cozy grey sweater adorning his frame. You have a passing thought, considering how much unnecessary money he might have spent on such a garment.
"So?" you ask in a tense voice. "What is this all about, Charles?"
"There are some things we need to work out. You're right- one of the many things I've done wrong to you is always being a f*cking coward. You're right. I didn't say what was on my mind, and I faked it, and I kept quiet, because I didn't want to upset you. But now I see that the only thing I can do now is speak up, be honest, and be a man. You rightfully left me because I wasn't being a proper man. I wasn't being your proper man. I was being a terrible husband and a terrible father. But now we need to uncover what's true- we both have different views, both of which are likely exaggerated or incorrect in different ways."
"I don't care, Charles," you say quickly, flat out trying to ignore his admittance to wrong. Perhaps because you don't want it to be true. Because if he's sorry, that means you have to forgive him.
"So you're telling me you'd rather believe lies, just because it makes you feel better? What kind of thinking is that?"
You hate to admit that he's right. So you say nothing.
There's silence. But then he says, "So tell me what happened."
"You know what happen-"
"Tell me, Y/n." His voice isn't rude, but definitely firm.
You swallow, shaking your head. You don't want to work this out. You want to forget Charles. But clearly, that's impossible. "You were irresponsible. You'd get drunk, never be home, never help me. I'd be all on my own... You... You'd use me for your own pleasure but never show true, selfless love... Then you came home drunk saying stuff about a pretty woman and sex and getting pregnant... So you cheated... And I divorced you because I couldn't take it any more." You can't believe it, but you're trying not to choke up as you whisper, "Charles, what we had seemed perfect. Until you messed it up." Your mouth tastes like poison.
Charles stares down, his eyes swirling with everything but empty, at the same time. "Y/n," he whispers. "I was terrible. You're right. I was never around because I was immature and scared. I didn't understand. To get away from it, I drank and had fun with friends."
Your lip curls. "You're not the victim."
"And I never said I was! I was scared of being a father. I was scared of messing up. I wasn't ready and I let everything happen too quickly. I was a coward and I left you. Even though you divorced me, I was the one who left you. That's what happened. I was stupid. I was a terrible person. It's all my fault."
"Why would you be any different now? There's no way for you to prove that. Before the marriage you were fine. It was when we married that you went downhill. It was like... you couldn't stand me."
He looks torn apart. "I loved you. I... I... I still do. I knew I wasn't being a good husband or father and to forget about it, I drank."
"And why wouldn't you still do it now?!"
"Because I don't. I feel more guilt now than I did then! I feel more responsibility now than I did then! And that was my greatest fear! Responsibility! But now I don't drink excessively! Now I don't avoid reality! Because I need you... Our son needs us. Together. Don't you need me?"
"Not the you I know."
"You don't know me anymore. I'm not the same person I was." His voice is so uncommonly firm, it slightly shocks you.
You stare into each other's eyes.
He goes on, "That night, I didn't cheat. I was intoxicated. A young woman was trying to seduce me, but I refused because I had you. You, my beautiful wife, both inside and out. I wanted to convey to you that I said no because you were my wife. However, I failed to communicate this properly, and the next morning, I had completely forgotten the conversation. I chose not to tell you because I thought it would be better if you didn't know. I was afraid you would be angrier with me for being in that situation. I was a coward, and I didn't want you to be upset with me. I didn't realize for years that you believed I had cheated. If I had known, I would have assured you that I didn't cheat, just like I am doing now, and that I never would. Because I didn't. Despite all the mistakes I made, cheating on you is something I would never, ever do. I have always loved you, and only you, far too much for that."
Your hands tremble in your lap as you stare at him, listening.
Now you're the one getting emotional.
Charles leans in close to you- too close for comfort- and whispers, "I've changed... Please. I just want a second chance... To right my wrongs and give you and our son the lives you deserve. I need to give my all to you... I need to make it up to you... It's... It's crushing me."
"Why do you need a second chance?" Your voice, for once, isn't aggressive. It's gentle. Softer. Your voice cracks as you say, "You should have done it right the first time."
You see him swallow. "And you know what? I didn't. I f*cked up. I f*cked up everything. I f*cked up your life and I know it. I'm sorry. I wish I could go back in time and fix it and make it all better. I was stupid, Y/n. I was terrible. I hurt the most beautiful woman and her baby in the world. I'm the least." He takes your hand again in both his, but this time it's a gentler grasp.
"But you're not. You're famous. You have so many fans."
"Do you know how many times I've thought I don't deserve all this? If only I could share it all with you."
"Charles," your voice cracks again, and an unexpected, terrible longing fills you. "I want to believe you, but I can't. I'm broken, Charles, because of you. I can't afford to let you break me again..."
A tear rolls down your cheeks, and immediately he reaches up with his thumb, gently wiping your cheek, "No, Y/n, please don't cry... I don't want you to cry because of me any longer... Please..."
"Charles, I can't do this..." more tears fall.
There's hurt and confusion, but mostly longing and guilt in his eyes. "Please... If you'd only trust me, then we could make this right. I could make this right, after all I did wrong."
You can hardly believe yourself as you let your broken, silently crying self fall into Charles. You allow yourself to rest your head on his shoulder, and you allow his arms to wrap around you, giving you his warmth. "Charles..."
"Yes...?" There's a painful hope in his voice.
"I don't know if I can do this..." you cry into his shoulder now.
He whispers right in your ear, "Just give me a chance. Let me be there for you... Let me prove to you... Let me..."
You can't give him a yes or a no. Two sides war inside you- the mask and the face. You feel him stroke your hair as you cry, at the same time as remembering stroking his hair when he was drunk and needed comfort.
This is some sort of paradox, isn't it?
"Charles," you murmur, leaning away after you've gained control of yourself. "The answer is 'I don't know' right now, okay... Consider it... better than hating your guts with an adamant 'no.'"
As he gazes into your eyes, he leans closer. Softly, he places a tender kiss on your cheek and whispers, "I'll be ready whenever you are. And I'll never, ever stop waiting for you."
Weeks pass, and Charles can't understand why, after all that happened that day, still you insist on avoiding him like the plague.
Well, the reason is just that- avoidance. You're avoiding Charles because you don't want to face the possible truth. You're avoiding him because you don't want to make big decisions. You don't want to try again. You don't want to...
Well, you don't want to fall in love again.
And on that day, the way he treated you...
It reminded you of the man you married, and not the man you divorced.
And that scares you. Because you'll never forget the man you divorced.
So you're stubborn and resistent, and you're avoiding him.
So you sit, staring at the screen of your cell phone. Rereading the text on it. Over and over.
Charles Leclerc: I'm sorry for such a long text Y/n but you probably won't read it anyway, so what does it matter? I need to talk with you and you're doing exactly what I've done, what I'm apologizing for. For years I avoided this stuff and one of the reasons we split was that i couldn't stand up and address and tell you my problems. I was being a f*cking coward. And I've said sorry more times than I can count. I thought you might be on the road to forgiveness, to giving me a second chance. I know you felt the same way as me when you leaned into me and let me hold you when you cried- there's something more here, and I don't want you to ignore this. Can't we just try this? Please Y/n? I'm finally willing to step up, be a man, work through all this sh*t with you. Talk about it. I'm finally willing to be brave, and as soon as I am, you're doing the same thing you've yelled at me for years for doing- staying silent.
Charles Leclerc: I love you, Y/n, and this is a problem I desperately want to fix, but the truth of the matter is that you're being a f*cking hypocrite.
Me: How does it feel to be in the position you put me in for years?
You feel mean for typing that, and you're not sure how much you mean it. Maybe you meant to be kinder.
But the anger took over and your thumbs did the talking.
Charles leaves that message on read.
You sit in the cold metal chair, surrounded by pudgy, middle-aged parents and their gross kids all around you as a lone young mother sitting by herself. You're only here to see your son, and none of the other aspects of this situation bring you an ounce of joy.
All of a sudden, a shiver runs down your spine as a firm hand gently lands on your shoulder. Your head snaps up, meeting the gaze of Charles Leclerc. A look of disdain crosses your face, causing your heart to ache as you bluntly ask, "Why are you here?"
Charles takes a seat beside you in the vacant chair and casually remarks, "I've come to attend my son's school concert. And you?" A glimmer of amusement dances in his eyes.
Your jaw tightens in pure irritation, and you manage through gritted teeth in a tense, quiet tone, "Why did you choose to sit next to me?"
Charles hesitates, his expression softening, as he makes an effort to hold your gaze. "Well... Because I..." He swallows and says, "I'm not going to give up on you. That's why. So I figured I'd sit down next to you to watch my- our- son's concert. So..." Abruptly, he reaches for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. The veins in his hand are visible as he clasps yours tightly.
Your muscles tense, yet for some reason, you don't pull your hand away.
So throughout the whole school concert, Charles sits, gripping your hand, and seems to refuse to let it go.
And the moment the teacher is done on stage after the little production, thanking people for helping and the kids for doing such a great job and other stuff you don't listen to, Charles turns to you and says, "So, we have some minutes to spare."
Your eyebrows scrunch together. "Come again?"
He chuckles, but it doesn't feel called for. "You weren't listening to her? She said the students can be picked up from their classrooms by their parents in fifteen minutes."
Your jaw clenches again. "Charles, why?"
"Because I know you want it," he says incredibly earnestly. The inside of your heart melts as the outside hardens.
"But I don't think I do."
"But I know you do. Now come on." Your ex-husband stand up, pulling you up with him.
"Where are we going?" you ask. "And please let go of my hand. You've been holding it so long, it's starting to get sweaty."
He clicks his tongue and doesn't respond to either of these, then guides you down various hallways until you reach the school's exit. Finally, he sits down with you on a bench outside the school, and releases your hand.
"What are you doing?"
"Let's just hang out here for the next ten minutes, okay? We should talk," he says awkwardly, facing you.
"I don't get it. Charles, there's nothing you can do to-"
Charles interrupts, holding your face gently, gazing into your eyes. "Please, don't. Don't say that," he pleads, his thumb brushing your cheek. "There's something we can do. We can make this work... Please..."
His desperation, his begging, makes you want to cry. "Please just let it go... Let me go..."
"No, I don't want you to be trapped... Don't you see you'll be more free with me? You won't have to work as hard.. I'll take care of you and our son... I'll take half the work in the house you have to deal with... I'll... We'll... I just want you to believe that we'll be happier... I'm not saying we need to jump to anything today. I'm just saying, let's be kind to each other... Let's go out to eat sometimes, or go to our son's events together. Let's act just a little bit more like a family, even if we aren't yet. I just want to- I need to- I- I- I..." He trails off. His hands fall off your cheeks, and his shoulders slack. His head goes down.
It's like just the hard look in your eyes alone crushed him.
Like that alone is the huge weight he's bearing.
"F*** me, Y/n... F*** me," he whispers, his hands in his lap trembling. "I don't deserve you. I hurt you. Doesn't matter how much I changed. I still have to live through the consequences of my actions, don't I?" He seems to be talking more to himself, but you have no idea at this point. "Just f*** me." He exhales shakily, before suddenly standing up. He stares you right in your eyes, and your heart breaks when you see the hurt, the destroyed desperation. "It's fine, Y/n." He's trying to keep a level face. But his voice cracks. "I'll leave you alone. I'll let you go. I can see all this is just hurting you more. I never meant to hurt you more. I never meant to bring up the past to hurt you. I wanted to help you... I wanted to help you heal..." He drags a hand over his face. "But clearly I f***ing didn't. Clearly I messed it up again. I f***ing messed up again." He swallows. His eyes glimmer with wetness as he practically whispers, "The last thing I want is to hurt you. So I'll drop it. I'm just being selfish again, aren't I? I think this would be better, but you don't. And that's hurting you. And I never wanted to..." He swallows, his nose crunching up. Suddenly he yells, "I never wanted to hurt you ever again, because I love you, for f***'s sake! I love you, but I did hurt you, because, in the end, no matter what, I'm going to f*** it up anyway! So bye, Y/n!" Suddenly he turns on his feet. Like he doesn't want you to see him cry again. But you can hear the tears in his voice when the last thing he calls back is, "It will go back to normal, and we can pretend none of this ever happened! Pretend I'm a stranger! It's the best for you, anyway, apparently, and all I wanted was the best for you!"
You stare in shock as you watch him get in his car and drive away. You remain seated, gaze straight ahead. Tears well up in your eyes, and your body quivers, yet you manage to compose yourself, rise on unsteady legs, and compel yourself to return to the school to pick up your son.
But that just wasn't right.
I should have stopped him. I should have called him back. I should've.
How far can revenge go before it's gone too far?
For days, the guilt, the hurt, the rue- they weigh on you. Every moment of your days, it consumes your thoughts. Regret and confusion and anger fill you in every step, engulfing your every move. And if you thought you weren't getting any sleep before, now it's even worse.
You long to fix it, but you are unsure of how. Despite everything... You can't see how Charles isn't being honest. You want to have faith in him. A small part of you may even want to love him, just a little bit.
You're also fearful. Fearful of reaching out to him, because you don't know what you'd do. You have no idea.
But now you're dropping your son off at Charles's house. You swallow, and suddenly, on a whim, when you see Charles walking outside, waiting for Y/s/n, you get out of the car, too.
"Mama?" your son asks with a confused expression, still maintaining a little smile on his face.
You smile back down at him and say, "I'm walking you up to your daddy's house today, is all."
He shrug and nods, apparently accepting this.
He's such a good kid.
As you approach Charles, your smile twitches while you study him, but you say softly, "Hey, um... I... We..." Your tone sounds weak.
"Yes?" Charles asks, looking up. He looks perfect. As always.
Your eyes lock.
Please, Charles. I don't know how to say this. Please just understand.
His eyes remain blank. You let out a sigh.
And suddenly, you hug him.
Charles seems taken aback for only a moment, before he immediately hugs you back and says softly, "Hey... Want to come inside with me and Y/s/n?"
You nod. "Yes... Yes, please."
So Charles leads the two of you up to his flat. You sit down together on the couch, once again.
Last time you did this was the moment Charles cried out to you.
"Y/n, people change."
You swallow at the memory.
Is this another paradox? This time, will I be the one crying out to him?
Y/s/n is about to hop on the couch between you, but suddenly Charles scoops him up and says, "Hey, hey! I didn't get my hug from you yet, did I?!"
Your son giggles, getting comfortable on his father's lap, before giving him a big hug. "I scored a goal, Daddy..."
"You scored a goal?!" he grins. "Seriously?"
"Yeah! Mama cheered me on! I scored a goal when I played football!"
Charles looks so bright. Happy with his son. So proud. He doesn't get to see him as often as you do. "No way. You've got to be joking. Was it the winning goal?"
"Yep!" your son says proudly.
You find yourself smiling.
"Oh yeah, what was the score?"
Your son shrugs. "Dunno! But we won!"
You smile and mutter softly, "I think it was 4-1." Y/s/n plays in the little league team affiliated with his school.
"Yeah, but my goal made it 2-1, so I won it," he brags to his father.
Charles grins. "Oh, I'm sure it did. You know, I don't know where you got that talent for football from. Do you think Mama is good at football?"
Your son just shrugs with a grin, enjoying the affirmation from his father. "Dunno! But Mama is good at cuddling and playing with me."
Charles laughs. "Yeah, your mama takes good care of you." He glances at you with sparkling eyes, before looking back down at his son.
The two continue babbling on about sports and football and what not, until Charles finally ruffles his son's hair and says, "Well, buddy, I reckon it's time for me and Mama to have some alone time."
Y/s/n frowns. "Aw, why?"
"Because I want to talk with Mama about things that you won't care about. Boring grown-up stuff. Doesn't sound very fun, does it?"
Y/s/n shrugs, still looking uncertain.
"Hey, don't look so down. How about this? I'll go put on Cars for you. How's that sound?"
Your son grins at this, immediately jumping up, his demeanor changing abruptly. "Yeah, yeah!" he squeals, and you watch as Charles leaves with him to go set him up with that in another room.
But soon Charles is back. He gently shuts the door behind him as he enters the room, and immediately sits down next to you, facing you once more. "Hey, Y/n..." he says in a tentative but gentle tone.
You swallow. "Hey, Charles..." You feel yourself getting nervous again. "You're so... You're so good with Y/s/n."
He smiles. "You are, too."
There's no, And I'm sure we'd be even better with him together.
Charles meant it when he said he'd give up on it.
But you move closer to him. You take his hands. "This is a lot for me, Charles. I'm scared. I'm having issues with trust."
He nods slowly. "I know... I know..."
You swallow, and hug him again.
He holds you, hugging you back. He kisses your cheek. He whispers, "I understand if you're afraid. I understand if you're scared, or if you're having issues with trust. I'm so deeply sorry I've broken you like that."
Y/n, people change. And I can change.
The words come crashing into your mind like a ton of bricks, emerging from the depths of your memory.
"Charles-" you break in, your voice cracking. "Those words have haunted me."
"What words...?" he mutters softly.
You swallow. Breathe slowly. And you whisper, "You said to me 'Y/n, people change. And I can change.'"
"I have changed," he whispers.
"But," your voice cracks. "You said a lot of other s***, too. I remember, during our honeymoon..." A tear rolls down your face as Charles continues to hold you. "You said I'm yours and you're mine. You said we'd be forever. You said you'd do anything for me. You said we'd have three kids together, and you'd never stop loving me, and we would be a happy family. You said we'd grow old together, Charles. That's what you said. But all those promises- they were broken... They were broken."
"You didn't want them to be," he whispers calmly. "But don't you realize? Perhaps those promises were not broken, but rather, they have just not yet been fulfilled."
You look up at him, blinking. More tears roll down your cheeks. Charles gently wipes them away.
"I want to be able to fix what I did wrong. I want to be able to fulfill those promises I made to you. That's what I want, Y/n."
"Charles..." you breathe.
He looks so perfect.
"Yes?" he asks gently.
Your lip quivers, and you lean into his shoulder, and you sob.
And he lets you.
For however long, he holds you there, rubbing your back, letting you weep. Finally, you get a hold of yourself, and slowly pull away. You wipe your wet eyes with the backs of your hands, before sighing. "Charles, if we were to do this... If I were to give in..." You sniff. Your voice cracks again as you utter, "Please, don't hurt me again. I can't survive it again. I can't let you put me through that again..."
He pulls you to him again and whispers in your ear, "I won't. I won't. I won't let you down this time. Please don't be afraid of me... I want to love you... Let me love you... If you'll just let me, we can fix this... We have have a relationship in which we communicate more. Oh, Y/n..." he sighs. "Don't you realize how much I care? I- I would give my life for you."
You blink, staring at him.
Everything looks so promising. That's why you're scared.
It almost looks too promising.
"You say you would give your life for me. But would you really? Maybe you would you give your life for me if it meant losing it. But would you give your life to me while you're still alive? Would you clean the dishes? Would you help me when I'm sick? Would you grab an extra ingredient from the store if I needed it? Would you drive Y/s/n to school when you could? Would you really? You're gone half the year, as it is."
His jaw clenches, then un-clenches. "I would do anything and everything I could do for you. I want to share my life for you. Until death. And I'm one hundred percent sure on that. I've had years of thinking about this." There's hope in his lovely eyes.
So much hope.
You sigh, staring down at your lap.
"Y/n. I'm sorry. Please. Not only do I need your forgiveness. But your son does, too." He hesitates. "And I hope you know no matter what happens, the guilt of what I've done to you will weigh on me my whole life. That's why I want to fix it."
You gently slip your hand in his and whisper, "Please don't hurt me."
He wraps his fingers around your hand, holding it. "I won't."
You nod slowly, another tear rolls down your cheek, and it feels like all the molecules in your body are being ripped apart as you barely whisper, "Okay, Charles. We can try this again."
367 notes · View notes
harmoonix · 1 year
Text
🪷 Astro - Peace Notes
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🪷 I saw a lot of Air Moons having a passion for dancing and it might be their comfort to do and their hobby, it can be any dance. I see them at 3 am dancing in their room on a lady gaga songs 💃
🪷 Virgo Moon and Sagittarius Moon might take writing as a very good hobby for them, writing might help them to calm themselves when they have anxiety and panic attacks/or stress apllying jf you have Moon in the 6th house/9th houses
🪷 Earth Moons have a pleasure for watching old childhood animations and feeling that nostalgia from their childhood 🥹 no joke here i see them crying while watching esp. Cap Moons 💛💛
🪷 Gemini Risings/Taurus Risings/Aquarius Risings LOVE to sing, or might have a passion related to signing since childhood 🤫, i see them hearing their fav song at the radio and immediately starting to sing the lyrics.
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🪷 Ceres asteroid [1] in Water Signs need deep nurturing and love, usually is hard for these natives to feel love and they can feel empty a lot of times and that's why most of the times they need to feel loved and worthy
🪷 Venus at Cancer Degrees (4°, 16°. 28°) can feel like a mom to everyone they met, their energy might be this type of a cool delicate kind of person who takes care of the people they love
🪷 Saturn and Moon harsh aspects went through a lot of things in their life and sometimes they might feel like they cannot take anything anymore and they had enough, these natives are very strong humans and kind of like warriors type of people. They have a heart of gold who passed through fire all their life and need to feel like they are truly loved and wanted here. For everyone with these aspects i want to hug you very much because i feel all these natives need a hug 🫂🦋
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🪷 People with Pluto in the 1st house/Pluto asc aspects have those beautiful intimidating powerful sirene eyes and very much likely they like to receive compliments about their eyes
🪷 I feel like Earth Risings would like to go to chill in a forest while is morning outside and to enjoy the views and birds sounds. I truly feel like they have a deep love for mother nature and for animals, and is also a very calming thing to do 🌳
🪷 Virgo/Scorpio/Cancer/Capricorn in the 6th house or 6th house cusp love pets and they love to hug pets, omg i know some people with these placements going and giving animals food on the street when they encounter animals.
🪷 Capricorn Placements need to learn to take a break and to relax sometimes because not everything is about work and work and much more work, i know you want to succeed in everything you do but please make sure to take care of your own peace and be at peace with yourself, eat some ice cream it might help
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🪷 Having the Sun in the 12th house is a very big bombastic indicator of having an imense intuition whitin you, can recieve signs in dreams or seeing something you last night dreamt about and having a lot of deja-vu situations
🪷 I feel like Capricorn and Aquarius Moons want to have a lot of freedom in their lives because they always felt closed between 4 walls and very underwhelming so they can crave for freedom and their own will and for the love of doing what they want and to enjoy the life at maximum
🪷 Chiron in the 9th house/Sagittarius can find a big comfort and safe zone in spirituality and meditation and even doing shadow work to be able to work on themselves.
🪷 Chiron in the 11th house/Aquarius might find a big comfort and support in their friends and social groups. Is a really great placement to communicate your emotions without the fear you will be judged by that
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🪷 Underdeveloped Libra and Leo Moons can be very insecure of themselves and tend to always be aware of what people say about them in any cases. They need to learn the self love and give them some respect and to be able to walk on their thrown and put that crown back on their heads
🪷Having big Pluto/Lilith influence in your chart would bring a lot of people in your life as lessons to see if you are strong enough to be able to see those who want to profit out from you and those who want to stay by your side forever
🪷 Mercury - Ascendant aspects are looking very young even if they are older in age, because Mercury can repsent youthfulness they can be very tricky while guessing their age/also they tend to have prominent facial expressions
🪷The most posesive Venus signs i know are Virgo, Taurus, Aries and of course Scorpio Venus, they are like "You are mine and no one else can have you", (Yes is romantic if you think about it but in extreme situations can be extremely hard)
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🪷Earth + Air in a chart gives the vibe of a person with artistic talents + being practical in the same and also someone who can be very friendly/social
🪷 Fire + Earth in a chart gives the vibe of a person with a very rebel and with big attitude, is like they make the rules and they are the "leaders"
🪷 Water + Air in a chart gives the vibe of a person who is very intuitive and creative, they have a lot of ideas for multiple things, and they usually tend to listen to their hearts the most
🪷 Fire + Air in a chart gives the vibe of someone who is very romantic and flirty, their voices can be truly beautiful, enough to make someone fall for them, i know these people like to tease
🪷 Venus in fire signs go for personality, Venus in air signs go for the way their specific person thinks/mentality
🪷Venus in Earth Signs go for stability and serious relationships while Venus in the Water go for making a bounding with their partners and showing them love
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🪷💛Hello lovely people, just saw is 1st May and i is the last spring season so we should enjoy it the fullest because spring is a wonderful season 🪷💃! A new week a new post for you 💃😍💛, i will try to post more in may due to not posting that much in April 💛💃
I hope you are all doing good, hope you are loved, safe and with the people you love xx<3, never forget how strong you are and how wonderful you are. Never lose your confidence, never lose your trust and never lose your love 💛 these things keep us all alive. 💛🪷 Have a wonderful May month to everyone!🪷💛🪷💛
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daisynik7 · 7 months
Note
hello it's me again not sure if it's alright to request one more (literally just ignore this if not) and its also not y2k but i'd like to request work song by hozier for nanami especially "no grave can hold my body down, i'd crawl home to her" angst with a happy ending during/post shibuya (no dying please) and reader is also a healer like shoko
thank you so much and congrats again 🫶🏼
Work Song
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No grave can hold my body down, I’ll crawl home to her
Pairing: Nanami x f!reader
Word Count: ~1.6k
cw: mentions of d*ath, bl*od, burn injuries, canon-divergent, set in the canon-universe during the Shibuya Incident Arc, MAJOR spoilers up to Shibuya Arc, angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship, happy ending
Summary: You’re a healer working with Shoko inside the medical tent at Shibuya Station while Nanami, your boyfriend, is in the line of fire for the battle ahead. After an especially life-threatening attack, Nanami, on the brink, runs into an old friend, who helps guide him back home. 
Author’s Note: @75songs thank you so much for sending in another request for the y2k karaoke party, always appreciate your love and support! I ADORE this song and have honestly always thought it was perfect for Nanami. I am an anime only and am not caught up with season 2 yet, so I didn’t want to read too much into what exactly happens during this arc, so some of the details may be inaccurate, just a heads up. This one got me in my feelings. I will forever hold a grudge against Gege for what they did to Nanami. Anyways, likes, reblogs, and/or comments are always appreciated! Thanks so much for reading! Divider by @/saradika.
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October 31st. Maybe in another timeline, another reality, you and Nanami would be celebrating Halloween tonight, passing colorful candies and decadent chocolates to kids going door-to-door across the neighborhood. You’d force him to dress up in a silly costume, one that matches yours, despite his reluctance at first. Deep down, you know he likes this; domestic bliss, especially with you. The idea that the two of you could live a peaceful life together, away from the dangerous world of curses and Jujutsu sorcery. You discuss it constantly, dream about it, strive for it. A few more years, he says, and he’ll retire. There’s still more work to be done, people to be saved. 
You’re inside the medical tent beside Shoko, helping her set up the cots, anticipating injured sorcerers to arrive soon with the battle underway. Masamichi Yaga, Jujutsu High’s principal, stands guard outside, determined to keep the medical team, especially Shoko, safe from any posing threats. There’s no way to know what’s happening until people start arriving, in need of medical attention. You’re a healer too, but not nearly as skilled as Shoko, your mentor. Still, she encourages you to join them tonight, needing all the help they can get. 
“Are you feeling okay?” she asks, setting up the last bed. Observant as ever, she notices your quiet demeanor.
You nod, giving her a weak, unconvincing smile. “Yeah.”
“Nanami is going to be fine,” she assures you, sensing the root of your anxiety. “When this is all done, the two of you should take a vacation together.”
Relaxing a bit, you reply, “We already have our trip to Malaysia planned in a few months.”
She smiles kindly. “There you go. Something to look forward to.”
Her words ease some of the tension, but there’s dread settling in the pit of your stomach, and it won’t go away until you see Nanami again in one piece. 
The waiting game finally ends as soon as the first wounded sorcerer shows up in the tent, initiating nonstop chaos. You assist Shoko diligently, making sure everything is prepared for her to perform her Reverse Cursed Technique for those who need it, and patching up those who don’t, with less severe injuries. You’re constantly on the lookout to see a familiar face, trying to get an update on what’s happening out there. None comes, until you see Kiyotaka Ijichi limping towards the entrance, blood spread across his shirt. You and Shoko rush towards him, carrying him over your shoulders, leading him to an empty cot, gently laying him down. 
Shoko, showing panic on her face for the first time all night, inspects him carefully. “Ijichi, can you hear me?” She’s always had a soft spot for him, often telling you how endearing she finds him, always a nervous wreck in front of her. Seeing him like this is surely jarring, even for her, who’s as tough as nails. 
He nods weakly, mumbling something incoherent, blood sputtering from his mouth. You remove the shattered glasses from his eyes, wiping his lips with gauze. Shoko starts to work on him, directing you to check on the other patients. Before you can follow orders, you feel his weak grip on your wrist. You turn to face him, focused on his lips as he quietly utters, “Nanami.”
Your ears perk up at the mention of your boyfriend’s name, leaning in closer to hear the rest of what he has to say, taking his time through labored breaths. “He…saved…me…” 
You do your best to keep your composure, nodding at him silently, blinking away the tears welling in your eyes. Unsure how to respond, you leave them, going to the other side of the tent to check on the remaining sorcerers. 
With everyone else in stable condition, you take a minute outside the tent to sob into your hands, praying that Nanami is still alive. Unaware of your surroundings, you’re startled when Yaga approaches, his large figure sitting beside you. “You alright?”
You wipe away your sniffles on your sleeve. “Just…nervous.”
He crosses his arms over his chest, sighing. “Yeah, I get it. But Nanami is one of our strongest sorcerers. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”
Again, more words of comfort, but not enough to ease the nervous flutter in your belly. Yaga recognizes this and adds, “Nanami would fight through the fires of hell instead of letting himself die. Not because he wants to live for himself. But because he wants to live for you.”
You face him now, processing his statement. He chuckles, lifting his sunglasses to meet your gaze. “That man has never been so smitten in his life. He’d crawl out his grave just to be with you, I guarantee it.”
~~~
The last thing Nanami remembers is desperately wishing he was in Malaysia with you instead of at Shibuya Station right now. He wakes up, sitting in one of the seats on the platform. It’s eerily quiet with no one in sight. The distinct sounds of trains on the rails or the hustle and bustle of people moving along is strangely absent, and it occurs to Nanami that this may be a dream. 
He's sure of it when he feels a nudge to his side, turning to face Yu Haibara sitting next to him. There’s a warm smile on his boyish face, dressed in his Jujutsu High uniform, exactly as he was many years ago when Nanami last saw him, alive and well. The same bright, earnest eyes he remembers vividly of his best friend. He swallows hard, an uneasy feeling surrounding him. Is he seeing a ghost? Or is this the afterlife?
Haibara laughs, and Nanami is snapped out of his reverie and taken immediately back to 2006, when he first met his friend during orientation. He can’t help but grin, happy to see him still so lively. “Well, aren’t you going to greet your old friend, Nanami?”
Nanami does, hugging him, astonished to feel him in his arms almost like a real person. Almost. “What are you doing here?”
“Just came to visit you, that’s all.”
Nanami lets him go, studying him carefully, looking for any signs of decay. When he spots none, he asks him, “Am I dead?”
Haibara shakes his head. “Not quite. But you’re pretty damn close.”
“I am?”
“Yeah. So you better hurry and get home quick.” Haibara points towards the railings, now illuminated at one end by a blinding flash of light. “Yuji’s waiting for you.”
“Itadori? How do you know – “
Haibara then says your name with a big smile. “Yeah, I know her too. They’re all waiting for you, Nanami. You don’t want to keep them waiting any longer, do you?”
It takes a while for Nanami to get up, and when he does, he’s off balance, legs wobbly, body unsteady. Haibara helps him, offering his shoulder, the two of them walking slowly towards the light. “I really like her, you know. Your girlfriend.”
“You do?” Nanami asks, hobbling beside him. 
“Yeah. She’s really nice, really pretty, and she eats a lot, especially with you,” he chuckles. “You know how much I like that.”
“Yeah I do.”
“And I’m a good judge of character, so I think she’s perfect for you. If that means anything,” he says, proudly.
“It does. It means a lot.” They’re near the edge of the platform now and Nanami will have to hop down to reach the end of the tunnel. 
“Are you going to marry her soon?” Haibara asks, pausing just before the edge. 
Nanami nods, grinning. “I’m planning to propose during our vacation in Malaysia.” 
“Good. Good.”
He’s tempted to stay longer, wanting a few more moments with his friend, but he knows that time is ticking. He hugs him again, squeezing him tight. “Take care, Haibara.”
“You too, Nanami. I’ll be looking out for you.”
His chest constricts, jumping off the platform, landing roughly on the railings, blinking away the tears in his eyes. It’s sweltering now, the light emitting an intense heat from within. He gives Haibara one last glance, cherishing the happy expression on his face as he waves goodbye to him before walking into the light.
Seconds later, Nanami wakes up with a gasp of breath, vision blurred, a droning pounding beating against his ear drums. It soon fades and only Yuji’s panicked voice yelling from behind him is heard. He’s being dragged by the armpits, away from the battle. Smoke radiates from his entire form, and he can barely move. In fact, he can barely feel anything at all. 
They reach the medical tent, Itadori yelling for help the whole way. Yaga is the first to reach them, his usual calm demeanor wavering at the sight of Nanami, body half-burned from the explosion. They carrying him delicately inside, resting him on the only empty cot left. He wants to close his eyes; he’s so exhausted, and sleep is the only thing to bring him peace right now. That, or you. 
As if his prayers were heard, you appear at his side, truly a vision, even while you sob for him, holding his mangled hand in yours, begging for him to stay with you. He can die happy now, seeing your face, knowing that you’re here, alive, heart beating, surviving. Can he do the same? Can he survive this? All he knows is that he’s trying with every fiber he has left in his being. He won’t leave you, not like this. Not without experiencing life on the outside with you. 
It’s in this moment that he vows to endure. Even if he has to crawl out of his grave to do it, he’s determined to be with you again. 
~~~ 
November 1st. Maybe in another timeline, another reality, Nanami is gone. Not in this one, though. Instead, you sit beside him, healed and in one piece thanks to Shoko, fingers laced with his, careful not to squeeze too tightly. Yuji and Ino are at his other side, talking animatedly about how amazing Nanami was the entire fight, and all he can do is lay there, smiling. Happy to be alive. Happy to be with you. 
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babydollmarauders · 7 months
Text
TIMELESS — JACK HUGHES
jack hughes x fem!reader
surprise song! part (and final part) of the Speak Now Fic List
summary: in which y/n writes she and Jack’s first dance song and it’s Jack’s first time hearing it
notes: Taylor doesn’t exist in this alternative universe, and you’ll understand why! (2.5k words)
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“i want you to write our first dance song.”
when Jack had told me that just five months ago, i was at a loss for words.
i’m no pop star, by any means, and i’ve never desired to be one. i dabble in song writing as a way to release my anxiety and that’s it.
i’ve bounced lyrics off of Jack for as long as i can remember. we went from facetimes in high school, after practice, singing him verses i was unsure of, to sitting beside him in bed, my guitar in my hands as i tried to work out lyrics and having him put his two cents in.
he knew i never planned for anyone else to hear them. they were for he and i’s ears only. yet he still complimented my voice, my lyricism, the instrumentals i played out in the dead of night.
he told me i wrote like a poet. he called me the greatest storyteller who’s ever lived.
but the greatest compliment, and also the greatest challenge, he’s ever given me, was to write the song to which we’ll have our first dance as husband and wife. to write our love into the purest form of art.
it took me four months to write what our love felt like, into words. constant lyric changes, and multiple instances of scrapping a song altogether and starting anew. it took another month for me to get it all made in a rented studio. recorded and produced into the song it is now.
but as i took so long to perfect it to my liking, i took the greatest risk of my songwriting journey. i never once bounced lyrics off of Jack. i wrote only when he was on roadies, hiding my journal inside of an old blanket that sits on the high shelf in our closet when he was home.
i wanted this song to be a complete surprise once it was finished. i wanted him to only hear it once it was in its perfected form. and that would be today.
my leg bounces on the couch, my fingers playing with the fringed side of the decorative pillow that lies within my lap, as i wait for Jack to get home from practice.
my nerves are quickly rising, my anxiety getting the best of me. if he dislikes this song, then i only have one month to create an entirely new one.
i feel sick. like i could both pass out and lose my breakfast at any moment.
my head perks up as i hear the apartment door open, the un-hushed whispers of Jack and Luke reaching my ears, and when they step into the living room, the signature smile on Jack’s face brightens.
“hi, baby.” he grins, bounding forward to press a kiss to my forehead. “i didn’t think you would be awake already.”
“i got it.” i rush out, the monotonous small talk of the moment not appealing to me in the slightest.
“got what, doll?” Jack’s brows thread together in confusion, and i can hear Luke’s pots and pans clattering in the kitchen.
“the final demo of our first dance song.” my teeth sink into my bottom lip, watching realization settle over Jack’s face. “the producer sent it to me this morning.”
“that’s great, baby! why do you look like your gonna throw up?” he laughs, taking a seat beside me on the sofa.
“because i’m scared you’re gonna hate it.” i confess. “i spent so long on this one song, making it into something i’m proud of, but it all means nothing if you don’t think it’s good enough.”
“hey.” he coos softly, a gentle hand raising to cup my cheek. “i love everything you write. and i know that this song is gonna be no exception.”
his forehead rests against mine, my eyes fluttering shut as i take a deep breath.
“are you ready to hear it?” my words come out in a whisper and i can feel him nod against me.
“i’ve been ready since the day i asked you to write it.” i pull back to smile at my fiancé, heaving out a deep sigh.
“hey Luke?” he calls out, getting a distracted ‘yeah?’ in return. “you mind giving us a few minutes alone?”
“uhh-” Luke peeks through kitchen entryway. “‘in my room’ alone? or ‘leave the apartment’ alone?”
“in your room is fine.” i assure him gently and he nods.
i watch as he turns the stove off before walking to his room. as soon as his door shuts, Jack is turning to me with an excited smile.
“okay, let’s listen!” my hand shakes as i lean forward, clicking on my laptop that rests on the coffee table, pressing play on the file.
the first notes echo throughout the living room, the gentle guitar strums causing Jack’s eyes to crinkle as he smiles softly, bobbing his head, his eyes glued to the laptop screen.
“Down the block, there's an antique shop
And something in my head said, ‘Stop,’ so i walked in
On the counter was a cardboard box
And the sign said, ‘Photos: twenty-five cents each’
Black and white, saw a '30s bride
And two lovers laughin' on the porch of their first house
The kinda love that you only find once in a lifetime
The kind you don't put down”
he looks over at me, confusion written across his face, but his eyes still shining with joy.
“And that's when i called you and it's so hard to explain
But in those photos, i saw us instead
And, somehow, i know that you and i would've found each other
In another life, you still would've turned my head even if we'd met”
his eyes grow softer, my cheeks heating up.
sure, i’ve written love songs about Jack in the past, but this one was special. this one speaks a truer and deeper meaning than any of my past songs.
“On a crowded street in 1944
And you were headed off to fight in the war
You still would've been mine
We would have been timeless
I would've read your love letters every single night
And prayed to God you'd be comin' home all right”
his smile is gentler now, his eyes glistening with unshed tears as he snakes his hand over to hold mine, and i know he’s thinking about the same thing as me.
remembering the time early on in his NHL career, when i confessed to him that every time he went on a roadie, i had so much worry that he would get hurt and i wouldn’t be there for him. when i admitted that, regardless of me not being a highly religious individual, i prayed before every game that he would come out okay. that he would come home in the same condition as he left.
“And you would've been fine
We would have been timeless
'Cause i believe that we were supposed to find this
So, even in a different life, you still would've been mine
We would've been timeless”
salty tears roll down my cheeks at the sight of his, gathering on my chin and dripping down onto our conjoined hands, gripped tightly together in my lap.
“I had to smile when it caught my eye
There was one of a teenage couple in the driveway
Holdin' hands on the way to a dance
And the date on the back said 1958
Which brought me back to the first time I saw you
Time stood still like somethin' in this old shop”
he pulls me closer, until i’m practically sitting on his lap, pressing his lips to my cheek, and i wonder if he’s thinking back on when we first met too. but what he doesn’t know is that i saw him first. i’d never told him that bit.
how i silently pined after him for months until we really met. it’s written in my vows though.
junior year, when i first saw him in the school hallway and it felt like everything around me had frozen.
he had been standing at his locker, laughing about something that Trevor had said. i heard the laugh first, and my entire body felt warm. but then i turned and caught sight of him, and it felt like time had stopped. my heartbeat had sped up, everything around me drowning out until all i could focus on was him.
“I thought about it as i started lookin' 'round
At these precious things that time forgot
That's when i came upon a book covered in cobwebs
Story of a romance torn apart by fate
Hundreds of years ago, they fell in love, like we did
And i'd die for you in the same way, if i first saw your face”
our foreheads press against each other, my thumb wiping away his tears.
“In the 1500s off in a foreign land
And i was forced to marry another man
You still would've been mine
We would have been timeless
I would've read your love letters every single night
And run away and left it all behind
You still would've been mine
We would've been timeless
'Cause i believe that we were supposed to find this
So, even in a different life, you still would've been mine
We would've been timeless”
his lips slot against mine, perfectly placed in harmonious synchrony, our fallen tears mingling together upon the meeting.
“Time breaks down your mind and body
Don't you let it touch your soul
It was like an age-old classic
The first time that you saw me
The story started when you said, ‘Hello’
In a crowded room a few short years ago
And sometimes there's no proof, you just know
You're always gonna be mine
We're gonna be-
I'm gonna love you when our hair is turnin' gray
We'll have a cardboard box of photos of the life we've made
And you'll say, ‘Oh my, we really were timeless’”
my thoughts drift back to the first time we really met.
it was on new year’s eve in our junior year. Cole was having a joint new years and birthday party.
*** DECEMBER 31ST, 2019 ***
Cole’s house is crowded. insanely so.
i didn’t originally plan to come. but Cole’s become a good friend of mine through our shared history class, and he’s been blowing up my phone all day, begging me all day to attend.
so now here i stand.
alone in the crowded living room of Cole Caufield’s billet residence, a red solo cup in my hand as i people watch.
i’m unsure of what to do. Cole currently sits on the couch with a few of his hockey friends from the US National Development Program, and i feel awkward going over there. but i don’t actually know anyone else here.
i tend to keep to myself more often than not, which results in the rest of my friends being fellow introverts that would never be at a party like this.
“y/n!” my eyes grow wide, my head snapping to find where the call of my name had originated from, and i’m slightly surprised to find Cole grinning over at me, his hand waving in the air and motioning me over.
my eyes flicker beside him to see Jack sat next to Alex, both paying no attention to anything going on around them.
with none of Jack’s attention on me, i figure it’s safe to go over and wish Cole a happy early birthday.
i push my shoulders back, standing up straighter, attempting to push my way through a horde of fellow high schoolers.
but my walk is a lot less confident once i witness Jack’s gaze drifts towards me. i stumble a little, crinkling my nose as a guy i share pre-calculus with bumps me in the back.
“hi Cole.” i force a smile on my surely red face, fidgeting under the gaze of all the boys, but especially anxious now that Jack’s attention is on me.
“hey! you came!” Cole rises from his seat, pulling me into a hug, recklessly causing my drink to slosh in its cup.
“well you were texting me all day. you wouldn’t take no for an answer.” i chuckle as he plops back down to the couch with a sigh.
“i couldn’t throw my birthday party and not have my favorite girl show up!” he shouts, my face heating up. “oh! guys, this is y/n! she’s my friend from history!”
the guys all mumble out distracted ‘hey’s, no longer paying any attention to me, more interested in their new conversations or, in Trevor’s case, trying to charm a girl.
except for Jack. his baby blues are still locked on me, the corners of his mouth pulled up in a small smile.
“hello.” it’s only one word, but my heart races in my chest. i’ve been pining after this exact boy from afar for months, and now he knows who i am. “i’m Jack.”
“hi Jack.” i shake his hand, his touch sending shivers down my body.
*** PRESENT ***
Jack’s hand rubs my thigh, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“We're gonna be timeless, timeless
You still would've been mine
We would've been
Even if we'd met on a crowded street in 1944
You still would've been mine
We would've been
Down the block, there's an antique shop
And somethin' in my head said, ‘Stop,’ so i walked in”
*** ONE MONTH LATER ***
my arms wrap around my now-husband’s neck, my hands toying with the hair at the nape of his neck.
our family and friends watch on from their seats, Ellen’s eyes catching mine, tears already threatening to pour over.
the first guitar chords stream out from the speakers as Jacks hand wrap around my waist, and we begin swaying around the dance floor.
Jack’s eyes gaze into mine, smiling as he whispers the lyrics back to me, relieving some of my anxiety from our guests hearing my song.
i grin back at him, craning my neck to press a kiss against his lips as the song nears its end.
i purposefully avoid looking anywhere near the crowd, laying my head on his chest as the song ends, the final chords strumming.
his heartbeat echoes in my ears, quickening as he presses a kiss against the top of my head.
his words are mumbled into my hair, his lips pressed to my scalp- “our love is timeless.”
442 notes · View notes
tiyoin · 26 days
Note
Twisted anxiety reader in a singing contest show (MHAHAMHAHAH) It would be a reason why she was singing in the woods.
✨ imagine✨
MC is feeling useless and unhelpful and just wants to pull their weight in supporting the dorm and stuff. Just overall trying to be more useful to Yuu.
So she overhears smth about a anonymous singing contest and the winner will get $5000 which for mc, Yuu and Grimm that's a lot of money. And 2nd and 3rd also has cash prizes. I think she goes for 2nd place ,so she has the money of 1st without the popularity of 1st. So she puts her fears to the side (🤨no she doesn't) to help her friend and cat.
I see this contest being an online voting type thing. Also celebs 😉 do go on the show to help promote it, to judge them and what ever else they do.
In the show they give the contestants a "wish"/ charm that can help them with their performance (enter ✨shimmers✨ & instruments magic that was talked about). It what makes the show popular
Now we give MC song/writing abilities. She honestly has a diary of kind. She needs it.( Torture her bout it later😈)
Now I'm sure we wondering how does this come into play
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THEY THINK THE SONGS ARE ABOUT THEM
They'll all find a way to connect the songs to themselves. If songs says an eye color or hair color the characters with said color goes crazy about it.
Enchanted by Taylor Swift is one that comes to mind as a song that everyone relates to.
Rook/ jade would send clips of MC singing on the show and "THIS IS THE VOICE I HEARD"
I have so many sub-plots for twisted singer reader.
Also I'm really glad to like hearing things like this. I was really nervous to send the asks.
More to come along at one point or another ☺️☺️
i immediately thought of “ivory skin and eyes of emerald green” from jolene and rook just going:
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shout out to @/a-twistedheartslonging because i WILL NOT stop using this cute little rook meme they made fldkaldkakwkdkxkakdkfhx
OH MY GOD READER IS SO NERVY AND SCARED AND THINKING SOOO MUCH ABOUT THIS SINGING COMPETITION AHHHHH
they’re physically reacting to thinking about it. they’re nervous tics come out (that happens to me, whenever i’m suppppper nervous i start chanting and get anxiety induced tics) and yuu and grim are getting worried because nothing has happened, so why are you so anxious?
OH MY GOD HAHSHSHAH IMAGINE THE WHOLE CONTEST IS FILLED WITH INTROVERTS HAHDHAHAHAH they all get to suffer at our expense
MUWHAHAHAHSHZHHAH AHHHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAH😈😈😈
*clears throat* anyways 🙂
reader : *sings enchanted*
ALL of the guys she made eye contact with that week: …so you’re proposing?
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OH MY GOD MAYBE ROOK AND JADE (for totally separate reasons) SEND IN A CLIP THEY TOOK OF Y/N SINGING AND SENDING IT TO THE SHOW BAHAHSHAHA
idk maybe there’s some super duper advanced magical technology (marvel’s equivalent of ‘quantum’) and y/n gets an invitation and they’re like????
I DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING YET
THE CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENT IS SOOO REAL-
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ROOK BRINGING VIL TO THE FOREST WHOSE GRUMBLING ABOUT HOW HE HAS HOMEWORK AND HOW THIS’LL THROW HIS SCHEDULE OFF-
“non non! roi du poison you must come with me avec hâte!” (with haste)
and they’re crouched behind a rock for a few minutes and vil is annoyed because rook is doing rook things again and he does not have time for this. especially not today because he has to find someone to endorse for the music show he volunteered to judge.
only problem: EVERYONE SUCKS OR HAS AN UGLY PERSONALITY!! vil is disgusted by the cockiness and the greediness of these… influencers who paid their way to be on the show.
it puts a horrible taste in his mouth, especially with how shameless they are to try and win his favor. he’s not some cheap executive they can bribe to put their foot through the door, especially with their lack luster… abilities.
vil almost called it talent, but you had to be good to have that.
just as he’s about to voice his complaints and leave, rook’s grip on his shoulder stopped him from moving and the finger to his lips stopped him from breathing. vil was visibly shocked because rook never put hands on him, especially like this.
there was a snap of a twig up ahead. rook’s forest green eyes flicked to the horizon a few times, head too, urging him to look.
and he’s more than pleasantly surprised to see… you- well as much of yourself that you would allow the watchful eyes of the trees see. your ceremonial robe covering your short stature.
rook looked at vil expectingly, but vil was still confused, so what if a student was in the woods? unless it was his own this was a problem rook should bring up to the other house wardens. and it wasn’t illegal, nor against the school rules so-
then, you started singing.
he couldn’t recognize the song. but he could recognize the passion. yes you were untrained and flat in a few sections but that didn’t matter. you were good, pitchy but good.
song after song, sometimes repeating a few as you danced and bowed your heart away.
he wasn’t sure how much time passed but it was a considerable amount since the sun that once well over the trees now peeked through the canopy and was gazing longingly at the moon.
cursing, you looked around, bent down to collect the things you brought with you, and scurried away towards another entrance towards the forest.
vil was quick to react, to follow but rook stopped him. looking down at his vice house warden with an incredulous look, rook only shook his head softly. there was a reason you were alone in the woods and not in the various music clubs.
this was your little secret.
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vil who WAITS for your submission so he can back you but you never submit… hm,
with a snap of his manicured fingers, rook is on it! maybe rook knows who you are, maybe he doesn’t, vil could really care less since the whole show is based off of anonymity.
(vil side eyes the influencers and other contestants who practically spell it out for the audience who they are so they can vote for them)
maybe to… put you on the right track vil has rook go to your little forest spot and place a flyer there, practically ENCOURAGING YOU TO SIGN. UP.
you think someone would get a hint right?
“huh, that’s weird… maybe i should change locations since someone else was here”
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that’s it. rook’s sending in your video and you’re getting a flyer stapled to the tree saying you’re accepted. yes yes this is because of your fairy god mother’s NOW SING
vil also giving y/n some song recommendations he thinks that are good, up until he sees you gently pull out a FUCKING LOADED BOOK from your backpack filled with songs.
yes darling those are great but lol at all the nice songs he gave you! they’re in your range too!!
vil slowly finding out who you are because he heard you hum a song in the hallways that only the mysterious ‘forest nymph’ (what a ludicrous myth the students came up with) sang.
and yes he’s shocked that the ramshackle neet (ouch vil 😿) has golden pipes.
THE CHAT ROOM IS NOW INVITE ONLY TO THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE HEARD THE ELUSIVE FOREST NYMPHS SONG!!! (i’ll cook smthn better i promise)
VIL THINKING WHAT TO SEND THEM TO HELP THEM IN A CUT THORAT BATTLE ROUND AND ROOK OFF HANDEDLY COMMENTING ‘if only there were an orchestra here to play along with their beautiful singing’
ERUKIA!!
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*cue golden instruments*
but in hindsight sight:
we’re gonna give her so much anxiety she’s not gonna know what to do😈 sorry pookie!! there’s no safe space at night raven college☺️🫶
173 notes · View notes
riddleriddles · 4 months
Text
ෆ i should hate you
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ෆ theodore theo nott x reader (without a specific house)
ෆ summary: The one in which theodore pushes you away but you can’t lose your feelings for him.
ෆ warnings: google english, angst (im not really good at it)
ෆ notes: I think this also goes a lot with CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS from ts, but i guess im going to make another one for this song, and also i just found out that im the worst for dialogues, just like in real life
𖦹
It was late August when theo decided that you were too much for him, that he decided that your relationship could not continue when you deserved more than he had to offer. So, after a few weeks distancing himself from you and letting his own mind erase the good memories and being corrupted with insecurities, he asked you in a note in a shared class of potions.
“Astronomy tower at 10 after dinner?” It was what it said on the piece of parchment, I didn’t need a signature for you to know who it was.
As the astronomy tower was a place of yours, where you spent time and time lying together, admiring the stars, the constellations and only the presence of each other, you didn’t think much about it, went up to the astronomy tower after dinner, where you found the familiar figure of your boyfriend.
There he was, leaning against one of the iron handrails, his half wavy hair with some natural blonde lights falling on his face making a light shadow in his eyes, he does not look up when he hears steps approaching.
“Hi theo...” you whisper softly, leaning next to him on the handrail, looking into his eyes while his gaze avoids finding yours, he has an blank and distant face, if maybe you paid more attention, you could see the guilt he felt for doing what he was doing.
With these last weeks that he has pushed you away you can’t help but wonder if something had happened, maybe something happened to his father, maybe it’s the tests that are approaching, or he may just be quiet these days, by the way, it’s theo, he likes his own space sometimes, you thought. You and Theo loved each other very much, you loved him, and you thought he loved you too, so the breakup didn’t even cross your mind when he sent you that piece of parchment.
“Hi...” he says, a low and hoarse tone, as if he hadn’t spoken for some time, his eyes never found yours.
Theo felt his own stomach turn with anxiety, he couldn’t let it shine through, you knew him so well that he knew that any misstep you would find out that something was wrong.
After some time, in a comfortable silence from his point of view and almost deafening in theo's, he said the words he spent so much time rehearsing on his own head.
“I think we should break up.”
The words hit you right, you even thought you could have heard wrong, no, you had certainly heard it wrong, theo didn’t want to break up, he loved you, and you hadn’t done anything wrong.
“What...?” You whispered almost inaudible, discredited that you had even heard that phrase, but when he didn’t answer and turned his head to the opposite side of your face, to avoid your look, you knew you heard it right and then you realized that your relationship was over.
“I don’t think we should keep going... I...” he whispered, feeling a ball of guilt forming at the tip of his own stomach, he couldn’t look into your eyes, he couldn’t risk giving up and telling you the truth. “I don’t think it’s going to work.”
Theo can feel your gaze on him, begging him for a reason, maybe for a laugh explaining the dull joke, he knew you wouldn’t let him go without him really hurting you.
“I don’t feel the same for you anymore, you should go..”
You stepped back, suddenly all the words had disappeared from your mind, not knowing how to act or what to say, you were never very confrontational, suddenly your love is no longer there, feeling the emotions so strong hitting at once, leaving you embarrassed in front of him, when he couldn’t even look into your eyes, you left the astronomy tower as quickly as possible.
The next few weeks were difficult, spent with ice cream, romantic comedies and a lot of tears, especially when you needed to see him in the halls, and sitting on the other side of the classroom, so to avoid him, you started to avoid meals together, delaying your own routine just not having to face him, you started to go down later to the great hall at breakfast and dinner time, when he had already left, avoiding the same halls and especially the places that were previously marked as your places, such as the astronomy tower, for example.
You waited for time to heal you but it wasn’t quite like that, the only thing you could do was disguise your emotions, pretending to forget the moments together, and then went back to the meals at the right times and almost didn’t look for him in the halls anymore, or did it discreetly.
Theo was getting worse and worse, whenever he saw you avoiding passing by his side in the corridors his heart sank and the guilt hit him all over again, and thinking it couldn’t get worse, he literally wanted to be buried alive when he realized that you were forgetting about him, that you didn’t even care about passing next to him anymore, that you didn’t even realize that you had passed next to him.
“You should talk to her, she likes you and I’m sure you deserve to be together...” said theo’s friend, blaise, while they were sitting in the communal room, for him theo was visibly downcast and it’s been a while since he saw the friend so melancholic it didn’t make sense for him to break up with you to be crying in the corners, theo didn’t use to open up to many people, but he trusted blaise enough to let him know what was bothering him. “you’re keeping her and yourself away from the one you love, that’s not fair.”
Theo thought too much about his friend’s words, but he never felt brave enough to come back to you and tell you the truth, he thought you had already given up on him and that it was better that way.
But he was pulling his own limits, and could no longer bury his own feelings when he was sitting on a bench in the courtyard accompanied by his friends, and from afar he heard your laugh, maybe it was the desire he felt to hear your voice again that made him realize the laughter among the other sounds of the place.
He turned his head abruptly in the direction just to wish he hadn’t turned when he saw you accompanied by another boy, a gryffindor boy, passing by while you put a lock of hair behind your ear and laughed at something that the blonde in red and black robes said.
Theodore felt the jealousy invade him, who did this gryffindor think was supposed to make you laugh like that? Did he think he deserved your smiles? Who did he think it was to at least get close to his girlfriend? he thought, but you were no longer his girlfriend, he had broken up with you and had hurt you, so now you probably wanted to be there, walking with that other boy and there is nothing he could do about it.
Watching you bend the corridors and get out of his sight he felt that the right thing was to let you go, he couldn’t be so selfish to the point of holding you up with him, when you deserved much more than he had, but he wasn’t ready, he couldn’t, he didn’t have the courage he thought he would have, he wanted to be selfish, no matter how too good you were for him, he wanted to keep you around and never push you away again, he wanted to intertwine your fingers and never see you cry again, much less for himself like that night, stupid, it was what he was, that’s how he saw himself now, a fool for thinking he could see you moving forward and it was the purest foolishness to think that he could move on himself.
So he finally decided to listen to his friends and go after you, without warning anyone he got up from the bank quickly,his friends looked at him curious, but used to theo’s behavior, they just shrugged.
Theodore followed in your footsteps and bent the corridor to find you this time alone caressing an orange kitten while he saw a little far away the gryffindor with his back distancing himself, he approached shyly, with his hands in his pocket and without making any noise.
You just realized that you were in the presence of someone when you looked at the shoes stopping by your side and recognized them as your ex-boyfriend’s, feeling your throat dry your hand fell from the kitten who was upset by the lack of affection and came down from where it was leaving you and him alone, it took you a few more seconds thinking until you raised your head slowly to look at him.
“Nott.” you said shy trying to sound firm, your gaze deviating from his, it was difficult to see him so close after so long, you wanted to hate him so much, you really wanted to push and yell at him, ask why he had done that, what you had done wrong for him not to love you anymore and he felt a bitter taste in his mouth when he heard his own surname come out of his lips, feeling as if that name did not belong to him, you should call him theo, my love, dear, that didn’t feel right.
“Don’t call me that...” he asked, his voice was distant but he still missed and sad, but it wasn’t enough for you to realize, you made fun of his words and crossed your arms.
“What do you want?” You asked firmly but still avoiding his gaze, you took a step back by moving away from him, he clenched his jaw to the sign of your rejection his heart sink again, the feeling becoming familiar.
“I want to... apologize, for that night...” he said in a low tone, looking at his own feet as if he felt guilty and ashamed, that’s certainly not what you expected, coming out of the defensive mode you lowered your arms.
“Apologize?”
“I was an idiot, I pushed you away for a stupid reason” he was visibly sorry, he took a step towards your, you don’t back down this time.
“yes, you were really an idiot,” you said and crossed your arms again, your eyes went up to look at theirs, he couldn’t stand it, your glassy eyes looking back at him, he just wanted to crush his own lips against yours. “were you lying that night? When did you say you didn’t love me anymore?”
“i was” he admitted quickly with a positive nod. “it was a lie, it was all a lie, I think I let my insecurities speak louder and I ended up thinking that the best idea was to push you away, i’m sorry.”
Suddenly, the nights you spent crying no longer made sense, you felt angry with him for push you away, and thinking that if you knew you would have done everything to prove to him that he was the one who deserved the whole world.
“Do you know how stupid you are!? I thought I had done something wrong!” you exclaimed getting closer to him, he held your face with both hands as if he were going to kiss you, you felt your eyes filling with tears of frustration and he could see them being formed in the corner of your eyes, mentally cursing himself for making you cry again.
“I know! I’m sorry, it’s just that I’m just me and you’re so... everything, and you deserve everything, and I thought maybe I could let you go for it, but I can’t, I see it now, I promise I’ll do everything to give you what you deserve, I promise, please bella, forgive me.”
A single tear fell down your cheek with the statement, a few seconds in silence was enough for you to think, no matter how frustrated you were with him, the desire to love him again was always stronger.
“You’re dumb.” you said quietly, he nodded.
You held his face pulling him down and finally crushed his lips on yours, he squeezed his eyes and let his hand out of your face, now it was in the air and he didn’t know where to put it, the kiss that overflowed the longing and love you felt for each other, it was calm and slow, no hurry after spending so much time waiting, his hand finally fell to your waist, fitting perfectly, he remembered that.
then you pushed your lips away, he still brushed his own lip on yours as if he were silently asking for more, you smiled against his lips when you realized it.
“Never push me away like this again, I love you and you are more than I could ask for”
385 notes · View notes
starryknight-tarot · 9 months
Text
𝓗𝓸𝔀 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓶𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓾𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮 𝓼𝓹𝓸𝓾𝓼𝓮
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pile 1 -- > pile 2 -- > pile 3
pile 4 -- > pile 5 -- > pile 6
my masterlist<3 . paid readings
Hello beautiful souls✨ I am back with another future spouse pick a card reading. Today we will look into how you will meet your future spouse! Remember to meditate, take a deep breath and pick whatever pile calls to you the most. Since this is a general reading, make sure to take what resonates and leave what doesn't. Divider by @ribboniel
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Pile 1
Cards: Justice, Three of Swords, Ten of Wands, The Hermit, The Wheel of Fortune, Page of Swords, Two of Swords, Page of Cups
Back of the Deck: Six of Pentacles
This pile is being me serious webtoon or like k-drama plot line vibes. I am also getting that some of you may be lawyers or may be fans of the k-drama Extraordinary Attorney Woo. Anyway, I am getting that you will meet you fs in a moment of pure vulnerability. For a good amount of you I feel like you could be going through a really big breakup. You may experience many strong emotions, or feel very anxious about something. Some of you may suffer from severe anxiety I'm hearing. I am also hearing that this may be a work problem, like a project didn't go through or you got scolded by higher ups, something that would raise your stress. I just heard that for some of you this event has happened already. Some of you may meet you fs very soon or have already met your future spouse. But I feel like after this, you might feel like you need to push yourself away from the people close to you and distance yourself. You could be stepping out of your comfort zone. But I feel like this is where you are gonna meet your fs. I feel like this place will be a crowded area, specifically a concert. Around the time you meet your fs, you will try to distract yourself from your stress and anxiety. I see your fs approaching you first, someone really cheery and just excited to be there. Someone that frequents the place you meet. For some of you, this may be someone you already vaguely know, specifically a co-worker. Your fs is giving puppy energy to me. They will be very excited to see you, it seems like a really cute introduction that will may make you laugh. I feel like they will compliment you on something you're wearing. I keep hearing that you will be a lot less excited to see them than they are to see you lmao. I don't think it's for any bad reasons like they are mean to you or something but they may remind you of whatever is causing you stress at first. I feel like they are gonna try to buy you a drink, or they have been drinking. Your fs gives off a very trustworthy vibe. You and your fs will talk a lot your first time meeting. I am getting a lot of laughter and silly little jokes. Originally you will feel like you guys are complete opposites, but after a while you will realize you have a lot of common. I keep hearing your first impression of them is that they are a cute doofus lol. (A kind of side note but I kept thinking of Brazil while shuffling and when thinking about your pile so you may be from Brazil or you could meet in Brazil)
Advice Cards:
Awareness opens a field of possibility in your life
In harmony with your inner self, you are free to do or be whatever you choose
Be aware of your inner messages
Something you've planted is coming to harvest. Results are forthcoming!
Be alert for your opportunity
Weigh your situation carefully
Channeled Song:
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Pile 2
Cards: Queen of Wands, Ten of Swords rx, Seven of Pentacles, King of Cups, Four of Wands rx, Two of Swords, Strength rx, Queen of Pentacles
Back of the Deck: The Hierophant
One of the first things that popped into my head when shuffling for this pile is that your first meeting is gonna be embarrassing for you. The reason for embarrassment will vary for all of you, of course, but overall I feel like you will be very emotional at the moment of meeting your fs. I am kinda of sensing some similarities to Pile 1 so if you felt called to that one please do read that one as well. Anyways, I feel like there is a possibility you could be getting bullied when you first meet your fs. I'm not getting that they will be the one bullying at all, in fact they might even defend you from these bullies. Like I am seeing them physically fighting them off or threaten them if this is bullying, and violence isn't the answer, but they will only try to help you. For some of you, your fs is a childhood friend or someone you have known for a very long time. I am also hearing some of you will already be in a relationship when you meet your fs. I feel like you are normally a very confident and brave person Pile 2 but at the time of meeting your fs, you will just be so over something that your tough persona will be faltering. I am also getting that some of you may try to stay positive about everything and never show discomfort in anything but this time something got to you and it's showing (ngl yall are giving me Tohru Honda vibes but that's for the Fruits Basket fans lol). For some very specific people, this event will take place in a church or will be about religion. But I feel like your fs will notice that you aren't acting how you normally do or that you just aren't doing well. I really feel like your fs won't really know how to comfort you but will end up doing something cute anyway and it might even make you feel better. They might give you something, I am seeing specifically candy. I do feel like your fs will almost immediately make an impression on you, you might even start crushing on them right when you meet them. Your fs seems like someone that doesn't really know how to express themselves but they wanna learn and be better so they can deserve someone like you.
Advice Cards:
No better time exists than right now
Your body needs your attention
In harmony with your inner self, you are free to do and be whatever you choose
You can make an important contribution
You are intended to succeed. Align your actions with your highest dreams
Issues of balance are at hand
Channeled Song:
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Pile 3
Cards: The Fool, Knight of Cups rx, Three of Pentacles, Three of Pentacles, Temperance, Four of Swords, Seven of Cups, Knight of Pentacles rx
Back of the Deck: The Sun
This is a very interesting pile. For some of you this could a gay relationship or if not, your fs could have very masculine energy. Unlike the other piles, this is the first where your fs is almost definitely someone you haven't met before or known about before. For some of you, your first meeting with your fs will be completely random. I almost feel like your fs doesn't want you to know how you will meet, like it's a surprise. But I do feel an instant connection here. Like you will immediately be like oh shit this person is my person. I just saw a gym (but I won't say this is for a lot of you because I really think your fs wants to keep some details of your first meeting a secret) . This is definitely a soulmate/twin flame connection. Maybe even love at first sight. You guys will act as if you have known each other your whole lives after just talking for a little bit. Although this sounds very much like everything will move very fast but I feel like both of you are pretty patient people and will wanna take your time with this connection. I just heard you have your whole lives to get to know each other. For a small amount of you, I feel like your first interactions will be recorded, maybe one of you is an influencer. But I am really getting that this first meeting with your fs will just be really fun and full of laughs like you almost can't breathe because you are dying of laughter kind of funny. I am getting your fs has a really big personality, like they are very noticeable when they walk into a room, all eyes on them. They may have dyed hair or very bold fashion. I am hearing some of you will be wearing something similar which is why you approach each other in the first place. The angel number 333 will have some connection to your first meeting so you may see 333 a lot when you are about to meet them, or March might have some importance to this connection. When you meet your fs, you are going to feel like you have reached the end of long and tiring journey, and now you can finally start a new chapter with your fs. I also just heard they are a keeper lol.
Advice Cards:
Considerable and consistent effort may now be required
Complete the project or task. Something is calling for closure
Control is an illusion. Surrender and allow the Universe to guide you
It's time to realize the blueprint of your soul
You are intended to succeed. Align your actions with your highest dreams
You are divinely protected. Remind yourself how safe you are
Channeled Song:
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Pile 4
Cards: Nine of Pentacles, Page of Swords, Ten of Cups rx, Five of Cups, King of Cups, Page of Cups, Seven of Wands, The Sun, The Magician (you get an extra card my special pile 4's)
Back of the Deck: Knight of Wands
While shuffling, two different locations showed themselves to me. A comic book store or just like a kind of geeky store and a sports game. Kinda random but could resonate with some of you. I was also hearing some of you might just be into a lot of geeky things like anime, marvel, fandoms in general which isn't too surprising if you have found your way to this reading, but spirit kept bringing my attention to that, so that kind of stuff could be very important to you or your fs. I am also seeing an interest in sports, so you or your fs could be very into sports. Anyway, I am getting you and your fs will meet very casual. I don't see you meeting through a dating app or a blind date or anything like that. I am seeing your fs approaching you first, although I feel like this is SUPER out of character for them. I am getting that your fs is more on the introverted side or they get very nervous talking to new people. I'm hearing "I just had to talk to you." so your fs will most likely be interested in you first, maybe even immediately caught feelings for you. I am even hearing that they will tell their friends "I just met my future spouse.". I can feel the blush that paints their cheeks and anxiety they are feeling just thinking about talking to you. Ngl Pile 4, the first interaction with them may be a little awkward at first cause they are just so nervous lol. I specifically see you looking at something like a book or painting I am hearing, and your fs just starts talking about whatever you are looking at. I recommend watching the mv to the first channeled song, as a specific part where the couple are looking a painting came to mind. also the song is just a banger But I do feel like you guys will eventually have a very fun conversation. Whatever happens, your fs will leave the interaction REALLY happy. Like they have a spring in their step. I am hearing you may give them your number or social media after meeting. I just heard some of you fall under the category of "big titty goth gf" and that is your fs's type (not for everyone ofc). I don't really see you viewing your fs as a romantic interest at first, they are someone that will grow on you eventually. Your fs has a lot of charm that they can only show when you get to know them better.
Advice Cards:
Boldly imagine what you can do and be
Act on what you know
You can if you think and believe you can
Create an internal structured frame of reference and stay focused
Give yourself your own approval
It's time to try something new
Channeled Songs:
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Pile 5
Cards: Six of Wands rx, The Wheel of Fortune, Seven of Pentacles, Four of Cups rx, Ten of Pentacles, Strength, Four of Wands rx, Queen of Wands
Back of the Deck: Ace of Wands
I flipping love the energy of this pile so much. For a lot of you I feel like you will meet your fs at work. You could be your own boss, starting a small business, and maybe even a CEO of a successful company I am hearing. You give off such a lovely energy Pile 5, I can't over it. Anyway I feel like your fs is someone you will rely on. I am seeing a lot of teamwork with this pile. I don't think you and your fs will ever be properly introduced, it's like they could just be in a group of people that you end up with and somehow just become acquainted with. I am seeing things like paintball, board games, or online games and you will just end up doing something together. If this is a work environment, it's at a work party. Spirits don't seem to want to focus so much on how you will meet and more on your connection with this person. This person is gonna be your rock. You could be in need of assistance and your fs will come to help you. Your fs will immediately give off the vibe of someone that works very hard and has worked for everything they have. They also may have evident bags under their eyes. Your meeting with them is gonna be pure fate. You were at the right place at the right time. Something you will look back and think, I am so glad I was there when I was or else I wouldn't have met them. Yall are absolutely soulmates. I really keep hearing your fs will be your assistant, you may decide to make a business with them when you first meet them. Your fs will just feel like home. I just saw two different fictional couples that I feel are similar to the vibes I get from yall. I see Barbie and Ken and Princess Carolyn and Judah from Bojack Horseman. You will meet your fs when you both need each other the most, this connection is divinely protected. When you guys get together, you will be each others support system and have a really stable and strong relationship. Your first impression of your fs will just be that they have a strong warmth to them as a person. An almost addictive personality. (very random last note just I kept seeing it and I'm seeing signs of it happening so your first introduction may be them spilling coffee on you lol)
Advice Cards:
You can manifest your heart's desire
You are healing at a cellular level
The issue at hand is about reflection. What is the mirror showing you?
The conditions are primed. Yes, it can happen, and if you believe, it will!
You need to make the first move
The Universe supports your stance and decision
Channeled Song:
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Pile 6
Cards: Ace of Swords rx, Knight of Cups rx, Nine of Wands, The Chariot rx, Ace of Pentacles, Eight of Cups, Eight of Wands, King of Cups
Back of the Deck: The World
This connection is most likely starting on the internet. This could be through a dating app or something like discord. I am getting around the time of your first meeting, you will be working on yourself or working towards loving yourself more. That may be something you have struggled with in the past or currently. Spirits are working to bring this person closer to you. I feel like your person either lives really far away from you or super close to you, no in between. If you do meet through a dating app, I don't think either of you would be particularly looking for love, just someone to talk to and find similar interests to. I keep being brought to a couple I know that met through MySpace and now are happily married and travel the world, I am getting their vibes from this pile. They also have a youtube channel so you might even make content together. I heard that one of you may be from Asia, specifically from Japan and another one of you would be from the west, take it if it resonates. This connection won't manifest in person until after you have really took the time to get to know your fs more. It's like you will meet your fs two times, once online and another when you finally decide to meet in person. For some of you, you may not even meet this person until after you already started dating. I am even seeing for some of you this may be a person you have watched or stalked on social media and have been a fan of. But I am not seeing a power imbalance with you guys. I feel like you will see each other as equals. You guys will find what you have lacked in your other relationships with your fs. If you guys are at a distance or meet online, I feel like when you finally met in person it will be a big event for both of you where you almost feel like you are finally complete. Your first impression of your fs will be someone that just gets you. Someone that you feel like you could pour your heart out to without being judged. It won't be that you share everything in common and be very similar people, but you will compliment each other in a way that works beautifully. You have very compatible birth charts or MBTI's. I heard either you or your fs could be an ESFP. You and your fs will meet at a moment when you are both emotional ready for a relationship.
Advice Cards:
Weigh your situation carefully
The conditions are primed. Yes, it can happen, and if you believe, it will!
Your acts of love, kindness, and unlimited forgiveness bestow grace upon you
The issue at hand is about reflection. What is the mirror showing you?
Align your body, mind and spirit with your heart
Yes, you can .... Set it in motion!
Channeled Song:
If you got to this point, let me know if you would be interested paid personal readings! I would also just love to hear your feedback on the readings!
Thanks for tuning in₊‧.°.⋆🫧•˚₊‧⋆.
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her-stargirl · 4 months
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Unknown Dances
Mizu x Fem!reader
Synopsis: Mizu has culture shock while also having to attempt to fit in, however she ends up making a friend at a noble ball.
authors note: I literally researched about 17th century court dancing for this guys (I already knew a little from my intro to dance class but not nearly enough)
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The cultural differences between Japan and London were so striking to Mizu that it took her two days to to understand a small bit of it. From what she had heard a ball of noblemen was being held and she thought that would be just the place she could find her next target.
She used Fowler as her way in since she assumed he was probably quite well respected among white people.
Mizu scanned over the party, she felt, strange wearing such an odd English outfit however to stay discreet she needed to look the part.
There's a band in the corner about to start a new song and the way people are locking eyes it feels as though they all know what song will be next. They begin finding partners and Mizu feels a tap on her shoulder.
A girl with her hair tied back into a beautiful updo, wearing a yellow ballgown is standing there. "I'm sorry I couldn't help but notice you look lost..have you never seen this dance before?" The girl seems nice. "Here follow me I'll help you," she gently takes Mizu by the hand and pulls her over to the two lines already forming. One of women and one of men.
Mizu was dropped off in the middle of the line of men, she didn't like this, she needed to get back on track. She had no idea was she was doing and-
The music starts.
She looks down at the feet of the man in front of her and follows as the man circles in front of his parter and back to his spot, then waits as her partner, the unnamed girl in the yellow dress, circles around her. One arm holding out her skirt, the other close to her chest.
This is all to stressful, she looks at the girl with a worried expression, however the gaze is not reciprocated because the girl is having the time of her life, smiling, laughing.
Mizu thinks the girl might laugh herself to death however the music stops and the girl turns to Mizu, "That was fun wasn't it?" Mizu is bright red with embarrassment? anxiety? she didn't quite know.
"Ah, you look ill come with me," the girl tries to grab Mizu's hand again. "No! I don't know you and yet you keep dragging me around, I demand at least a name!"
The girl looked surprised for a minute, a look of 'oh! a foreigner maybe that's why they were so confused!' but she soon snapped out of it "Goodness I'm sorry, my name is y/n..I'm also sorry for dragging you into something you don't know well people usually catch on quicker than you did."
Mizu felt her body destress a bit however she kept her gaze sharp, "Its..a pleasure to meet you y/n.." Mizu said, still quite unsure.
"Likewise" y/n says smiling patiently.
"Well y/n if you'll excuse me I have some um..important business to attend to," Mizu turns to walk away, face still red from embarrassment.
"Alright..um..I'll see you later then," y/n says in a somewhat upset voice, she hoped that this wouldn't be the last time they see each other.
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Mizu's plan was beginning to prove unsuccessful, everyone she had talked to had little to no info. She found herself back in the large ballroom.
She stared out at the crowd of people, and there she was, the girl in the yellow dress. Still dancing, still smiling. Mizu was envious.
She felt, compelled to that girl, as if she was out loud saying 'Mizu, come over here and dance! you're wound so tight!'
Before Mizu even thought about it she was already out on the floor taking y/n's hand, "May I dance with you?" she asks in a calm yet alluring voice.
Y/n just smiles politely and nods, taking Mizu's hand and swaying softly, "I'm sorry for coming off so," y/n pauses trying to find the right word, "strongly earlier" She gives Mizu an awkward gaze.
"I'm just not used to people taking a strong liking so fast," Mizu says, attempting to hold eye contact however she's fairly bad at it because she's focused on how her feet are moving.
The song comes to an end and people disperse, this time Mizu is the one to pull y/n. The two walk down the hall to a quieter spot. Mizu was acting so fast she didn't quite know what she was even doing she-
"I'm sorry I don't know why I pulled you off to the side, you can go back if you'd like," the words come out however she doesn't want them to.
"No its ok, I'll stay here," y/n says, "I need a minute away from the action" she lets out a soft chuckle.
Its quiet for only a minute but feels like forever before the silence is broken, "I'm going to be painfully honest I was drawn to you because of your eyes...not because you looked lost," y/n says "they're just so unique and such a beautiful color."
Mizu felt her cheeks flush hot and fast, "thank you...? wait um, you're welcome? no that's not right eith-" y/n cuts Mizu off with a loud, joy filled laugh. "I know what you meant don't worry."
Mizu inhales sharply, "That color..yellow, it's beautiful on you" Mizu rushes the words out, she's never felt like this.
"Thank you," y/n says with a polite and delicate smile.
Another song is beginning back in the main ballroom, "This is my favorite!! lets go!" y/n says looping her arm around Mizu's. Once again dragging her off to dance.
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tyttamarzh · 4 months
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Missasinfonia, songs and QSMP…
Hello!! Well, since we all continue to miss Missa, I want to share a little thought.
I don't know if it has already been talked about here, but in the Hispanic fandom of Missa we have his songs very present and some people have not been able to avoid talking about how some of them adapt perfectly to the QSMP.
I want to talk about two in particular whose lyrics I think are perfect for describing Missa's relationship with his family.
The first one is called "Privilegios" (privileges) and I think it describe what Missa is currently going through with Philza. Well, it talks about the anxiety of feeling insufficient for the other and trying to improve but feeling afraid of moving forward (the young Missa from 2014 wrote very deep lyrics). I remember that in a stream he told us about how several of his songs came about and said that he wrote "Privilegios" thinking about us, the people who follow him, because he didn't feel enough for us and is why he always try to do things better. Either way, I think he's perfect for describe his situation with Phil.
The song:
youtube
Lyrics
Sometimes I forget my sorrows and things I should do Because ideas slip away, they do not allow us to see Well creating something new means forgetting I would like to be like before and go back to the past
I know how to write the word mature very well But my thoughts don't let me act I don't want to forget, I don't ask for your mercy Because honestly I can fix it.
Chorus I don't know what to do if you're not okay (you're okay!) I don't know whether to lie to me or throw myself at your feet I wonder if I can deserve you Because I didn't earn the privilege.
How can I destroy damn anxiety? If outside my mind is my reality It is not so easy to wish others ill. just so I can free myself
The second song I want to talk about is called "Tarde para el plan B" (Late for Plan B) and I think it could be a message from Missa to Chayanne, some of the things he mentions remind me of what Missa told him in that day of fishing before travel to Japan. He talks about how it's okay to fail and that he shouldn't be overwhelmed by his mistakes, and encourages him to keep going and get better. There is also a phrase that I like to think is very much theirs, since it infers that even if they are not together, he will always see him. Now every time I hear that song I think of them and I can't help it u.u (It's a song created 10 years ago, but I think it's fits perfectly).
The song:
youtube
Lyrics
Have you ever wondered… what could happen if after the years, you could come back to the past? Would you have the chance to see what is wrong the bad memories you would be able to erase.
Enjoy moments you didn't see coming feel from the beginning what you should feel but remorse can cut you and repenting would be the final act
Look for alternatives, see how to improve May you know how to handle your situations You don't always get a second chance. you must take advantage of what time gives you
If they give you their hand, don't take our foot don't ask for the moon when it's barely dawning You don't run when you want to calm down do something your soul can bear
[PRE CHORUS] And it's not that it's bad, it could be worse. What doesn't kill you makes you better.
And listen to me, here I will be, watching your actions wherever you are.
sometimes the reasons chase me but they don't want to catch me Sometimes actions are what will count, but you won't count. I prove that what I say is true It's your problem if you don't want to change but honestly sometimes everyone can fail
In the hope that everything is fine There are ideas within your being that grow and create the bad decision than wanting to correct what has already happened
Do what you need to make you feel better. Defeat your demons, destroy that pain Errors exist to know what someone else could fall into
and it's not that it's bad, it could be worse What doesn't kill you makes you better
listen to me, I will be here watching your actions wherever you are
My favorite phrase from this song is: "don't ask for the moon when it's barely dawning" (I just like how deep it sounds xD)
And that's all for now, I've never created a post here, I hope it's okay. Thanks for reading my crazy thoughts. Greetings!!
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