#also i lost my earphones so i can't listen to music to tune it out FUCK
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dsgdsfhff you liked the airpods idea? That was such a brain fart lol (when I see someone wearing wireless earphones in the street my first thought is they are chatting with the Unseen. Only then do I notice the earbuds)
I imagine Elesa gave them to Emmet as a sympathetic gift to ease him up a bit? (expectations: coping with music. Reality: chatting with his dead brother like he's on the damn phone)
One time Emmet forgets his phone but not earbuds, goes about his day as usual. Elesa finds out and has Questions
it was a good idea! one thing i've been thinking about is how emmet and ingo communicate with each other in public, and emmet pretending to be on a call is a great way they can do that.
coping with music is an interesting idea too! i listen to a lot of music when i'm just thinking about ideas for this au, so i don't see why emmet can't listen to q few tunes.
also, that's close to my concept of how elesa finds out that emmet is haunted! she overhears him speaking to ingo and thinks, "oh he finally lost it."
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BOND THROUGH BANDS
Well I know when you're around ‘cause I know the sound I know the sound, of your heart... bzzz bzz bzz
I woke up by the annoying vibration of my alarm, I checked the time and good lord my alarm has been buzzing for about half an hour now! I don't remember snoozing it off but damn my train for London leaves in 20 minutes. My earphones are tangled all over my neck. I could literally hear my mum inside my head saying “You should not sleep with your earphones on Bailee!” I'm sorry mum but your loving daughter just did. I must have fallen asleep again while on my phone last night. It has become my habit now to pass out while scrolling through my socials, I mean that's just pure talent. Music is my thing but not in the way that I'm great at instruments. It's just that I love listening to bands.
As I hurry to the bathroom to take a shower, I tripped over my sketchbooks. I don't remember my flat being this messy. Dirty clothes are piling on the chair beside my disastrous closet, books are everywhere on the dusty carpet. The only thing in order are my shelves of books and music albums which is also now getting dusty. Surprisingly the kitchen area is clean, maybe because I am always out at the city to eat out with my classmates after school. I got out of the shower with ten minutes to spare. I have no time for my indecisiveness on what clothes to wear so I pulled off my go-to outfit. I tucked my favourite yellow sweater on my jeans and put on my worn out Converse then grabbed my coat that is hung on the back of my door before sprinting to the elevator.
As I got out on the streets, tourists are everywhere, typical for Brighton though even if it's freezing cold. But today is warmer, the sun is actually out which is very unusual for December. I'm almost near at the station when Lily texted me:
“BAILEE WHERE ARE U?!”
But before I can even type my answer, she called
“Sis the train is about to leave in two minutes” I can imagine with her tone how pissed she is at me.
“I’m almost there. I’m like twenty steps away”
“That better be not a lie”
“I swear it's not- and oh she already hang up”.
We made it to London without having a fight. She is already used to my shenanigans on my morning routines which always make me late. Lily is just pressed that I missed breakfast with her at the cafe.
“Why on Earth are you late this time my beloved friend? Bet you had your concert again while in the shower”, she said sarcastically.
“Oh stop it, you know I can't miss my singing ritual whilst in the shower”, I teased her.
“Also, I'm not late duh I made it exactly at 8 am”. Lily has always been the early bird kind of friend during meet ups and I am most certainly the buzzer beater type.
Roaming around the city of London is always my favourite. I have lived here three years ago when I first came to England yet every time I walk along its streets and pass by its shops, I keep falling in love like it's the first time. The telephone booths are still class even though no one uses it. Everything about this city is so aesthetic. Lily and I spent half of the day going through some of the places London is known for as if we are tourists.
“It's ridiculous that I've lived in London most of my life but still haven't ridden this until now". We are now inside a carriage on top of the London eye.
“ I can't say the same. I mean I lived here only a few years back and I even barely go out then but it's never too late to be a tourist you know”.
The view on top is amazing, cityscape and sunset is picture perfect. I just wish that I am seeing this with Matty right now if he hadn't left me. I guess this is it again, I have fallen on my whirlpool of grief that keeps dragging me down. It's been years but why didn't I learn to handle the pain.
2 years ago...
London street is busy as ever yet the holiday spirit is very alive. Every one on the city is on their layered coats as it is freezing cold. It's two more weeks until Christmas and the shops are all packed with those who are gift shopping. I am probably the most loneliest person in London because I actually have no one to celebrate Christmas with as I just moved. I have Lily and our friends but they’re all going home for the holidays.
Today is the last day of school before our Christmas break so we planned a night out at Winter Wonderland.
“Here's the thing Bailee, a Christmas holiday of a typical London resident wouldn't be complete without a night here", Millie said as we walk toward the entrance of the giant Christmas carnival. Millie is my street smart friend who always got my back the first time I got in London.
“Really?”, and as I ask this I confirmed what Millie just said, the place is crowded and sparkly with its lights. The people are in their high spirits as they are in queue for the rides. I could never be that person who is excited for the rides. Before I even know it, my friends are already in line calling me to join them.
“BAILEE AREN'T YOU GOING TO JOIN US?”, Josh screamed.
“ I'D RATHER WATCH YOU FROM HERE. I'M SCARED OF HEIGHTS.”, I answered. The music is getting loud now from what I hear from the people passing by is from the beer tent.
“ARE YOU SURE???” asked Lily looking concerned.
“YEAHHHH, MEET YOU AT THE BEER TENT MAYBE?”
I barely heard their answer but I'm sure I heard Millie say “oh she'll do just fine, she can manage now". Thanks Millie for your confidence but I am actually anxious going alone inside the beer tent. But I am eager to see what's going on in there because I can hear a band playing.
There's a reason why I never returned your calls I wish I could forget it all But I never returned your calls ‘Cause I'd fall again.
“Holy cow they are singing a Blossoms' song" , I whispered to myself out of excitement.
I made my way in front of the crowd. The people inside the tent are all chattery and loud but I could only hear the song playing, my favourite song. I caught the vocalist' attention maybe because of my aggressiveness to get in front. I got lost on his gaze, his deep blue eyes melted me, the curls of his hair is so soft. It is their last song to play. After they played, he went to sit beside me which is weird because we don't even know each other.
“Hi” he said shyly.
A cute band vocalist who is a stranger just talked to me, how am I supposed to reply. “Hello?”
“You sound so confused" he said giggling.
“Uhmmm yes? I am confused because a stranger who just sung my favourite song is talking to me out of context”, I blurted out.
“Oh I actually approached you because of your reaction while we were playing ‘your favourite song’ "
“Why so?”
“Because it's so obvious that you really like the song and you were the only one here who seems to appreciate it. Does it remind you of someone?”
“Honestly no, I just really love it. The tune, its lyrics is just perfect for me.”
“Guess we are the same then".
After my weird moment with that guy, my friends finally came to have a beer. Mr. Stranger was about to leave when I asked his name.
“It's Matty”
That's how Matty and I started. After that night, he invited me to watch shows and gigs. The drive back home is always my favourite. We take detours just to spend more time talking about each other with good music on the background.
“Cityscapes are just beautiful, aren't they?” I said while looking out the window.
“Not as beautiful and bright as you”
“Stop being so cute please”, that's the only reaction I could do with his smooth cheesy lines.
As months of hanging out together goes by, we fall deeper and deeper with each other. Matty gave my room a make over. Ever since I moved in London my flat doesn't look like home so he gave it an artistic touch. He painted the walls, built me a desk and shelves. We also hung posters of our favourite bands. After redecorating my room, it now feels home and cosy. He stayed until midnight so that we could listen to the new album of the 1975 together.
“I guess this could be our new jam then" he said with enthusiasm in his eyes.
“I love the idea", I answered.
I knew he was already sleepy when he said goodnight before driving back home. I didn't want him to drive anymore because it's already late but he insisted because he's worried about his sister so I let him.
“Call me when you get home ok? Drive safely”
“Ok I love you” he said.
I don't recall the next months after. It is as blurry as when my tears won't stop falling for him. Matty have left me. Matty never returned my calls not because he's scared of falling again for me. He never returned my calls because he's gone. How I wish we could've said our goodbyes. I should've said I love you too while I still can. But it is all too late now.
Matty is the reason why I moved to Brighton. Everything about London reminds me of him especially at this time. He once asked me to ride the London eye with him but I refused because I was scared and anxious.. What I did not know is could never see this view with him anymore. I should have said yes back then but my anxiety ate me. Up until now his memory still haunts me even in Brighton. I never had the courage to clean up my room because I keep remembering when he decorated my room. Now I can finally say that ‘There's a Reason Why (I Never Returned Your Calls) by Blossoms reminds me of someone.
Before I even get drowned by my whirlpool of grief, Lily brought me back to reality.
“Bailee are you alright?”
“Yeah I think I am"
I still find parts of you. In the corners of my bedroom. Someday comes too soon. The radio plays our favourite tune again.
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Things I can't run without
I know, running is supposed to be the most basic of all exercises, except maybe walking. We should be able to run without any additional gear, even without special clothing. And if we must do it that way, we certainly can. But, it's so much more fun and so much more pleasant when we arm ourselves with available gadgets and gizmos. I've tried many and kept only a few I can't run without, sort of. From run trackers to podcast players, here's what I use.
I started "au naturel" wearing my ancient sports shorts from high school (I was lucky they made them so stretchy that I could fit in) and sneakers I bought for walking. They were comfortable and felt great. Sneakers were already moulded by my feet. Those were simple, chafing and blister-free runs.
The more serious I became about it, though, the more I started reading online and offline about things advertised as "essential" to improve my running. To tell the truth, I was mostly interested in finding a way to measure the distance I ran. Those were the days just before GPS became omnipresent. Sometimes I drove the route I was going to run to measure the distance on the car's odometer; on one occasion I even talked a friend into following me in a car. He avoids me ever since.
I turned to the internet, bought a Nike+ pedometer, put it on my shoes and paired it with my iPod. It was inaccurate, for sure — for example a marathon I ran with it was measured as a 45 kms run, full 3 kms longer than actual distance — but it was ingenious when it comes to motivation and goal-setting. Now I could set the weekly, monthly and other goals in distance and time. And, it had a feature I miss ever since - a "Power Song". I could pre-program my own pick-me-up tune and then play it whenever I want or need it during the run by pressing and holding iPod's menu button.
If you promise not to laugh at my taste in music, I'll tell you the song that carried me through the heavy-legged final stages of quite a few marathons and half-marathons; it was Christina Aguilera's "Candyman". Other than catchy melody and cheerful vibe, it also had the perfect beat-per-minute rhythm to which I could match my stride and get some badly needed speed. When I evolved to more sophisticated distance trackers, I lost that Power Song feature and miss it ever since!
I already outed myself as the non-purist runner. (The purists being runners who don't listen to anything other than the sounds of their surroundings and their own breathing.) Yes, I run with headphones, and am not apologizing for it. Nowadays, my phone is my tracking device and a few "essential" apps keep track of my runs and make them more enjoyable. Before I bare my running soul and sole in front of you, I want you to know that I'm kind of an old geek. I like to experiment and try new things all the time, sometimes to my own detriment. One can't know if something's really good until he tries it, right? So, here are my running essentials.
A GPS-capable smartphone is a must. I have an old-ish iPhone 8 which still tracks my distance quite well.
Comfortable headphones. My ears are large — I know, I'm not proud of them and didn't ask for them, but there they are. Most of the earbuds and other fancy small earphones won't stay in my ears. They wiggle and slide out after a few running steps. So, I'm looking for headphones that hook in place in some way. Trust me, running with an earbud that needs to be tucked back in every few steps can ruin your mood run! The current ones I have is the simplest of simple sets of Panasonic wired sport headphones with plastic hook over the ear. What I look for in headphones? I want them light, with some sort of hooking solution either over ears or around the head. Waterproof, or at least water-resistant is preferable. Because, no amount of sweat or rain can stop us, right? Bluetooth wireless are great, but tend to be heavier due to the battery they need to function, which makes them fall outta my ears easier. Also, some bluetooth headphones have connection problems, even though my phone is in my waist-belt less than a meter down from my ears. Further, I prefer earphones which sit outside my ear canal, thus allowing me to hear the sound of my surroundings. It's always useful to hear the car approaching. I know it spoils the sound quality, but ask yourself do you really need a studio-quality sound while running on the road?
I've seen people running with fancy over-the-ear noise-cancelling headphones — I'd love me a pair of those for when I'm on an airplane, but there are two problems I have with them in running situation: they tend to be hot and make me sweat even more; they make me unaware of the traffic and things approaching me outside my field of vision.
My favourite run-tracking app is iSmoothrun. It has more data of my run than I really need, but hey — better too much than not enough, right? It tracks the mileage on my shoes, too. It has easily programmable intervals with great audio feedback. And it syncs with many running community and tracking sites, from Strava to RunKeeper and many in between.
Running community site I use is RunKeeper. It's neither better nor worse than the others. I have used it since 2010, all my running data since then is there and even though I tried Strava and many others, I haven't found a compelling reason to switch, yet. RunKeeper is owned by ASICS, which sort of guarantees they'll be around for a while. But really, it's the matter of preference. I can only suggest that, when you find the site that works for you, stick with it and keep all your data in one place.
One more essential app or site is a weather app. I'm currently running in Europe and use two weather mobile websites which, between them, give me the most accurate hourly forecast: Yahoo weather and Norwegian YR. In North America I trusted The Weather Network the most. Whichever app you choose, I suggest check if it offers the wind speed data per hour. Also "feels like" feature for temperature, whether it's the humidex factor (humidity index) or windchill (in the winter) is very helpful when you need to decide what to wear for the run. All the sites I mentioned above have it.
When it comes to on-run entertainment, there is your music app, whether it's the streaming one (Apple Music, Spotify) or just music playing one. I can't help you much with it, as I'm using Apple Music because it's pre-installed and all my music is there.
Then, there's a podcasts app. Podcasts are radio on demand on any topic you can think of and many you never thought of. They are great way to break the monotony of a long run. My "weapon" of choice is Overcast.
Finally, for the book-loving runners among us, there's an audiobooks app of your choice. On Apple's platforms Apple Books app (former iBooks) doubles as an e-book reader and an audiobook player. Personally, I'm a big reader, but find the audiobooks not affordable, especially at my reading pace of 3-5 books a month. I tried Audible too, it gives one book a month within the subscription, the rest costs extra. Too much for my pocket!
Then I found the solution! There's an iOS app (I'm certain there's something similar for Android too) called Epub Reader. It not only lets me read ebooks, but it also reads it to me. There is selections of voices to choose from and some of them sound almost human. When a book is so good I can't put it down for a run, I listen to it in the same app, while running. My version of the app takes only epub formatted ebooks, but there are plenty free online book conversion sites to help if your book is in a different format. You can try ToEpub, or just search for "free epub converter online".
There you go — these are the gizmos that made my runs enjoyable for years. What are yours? Also, if you have any question, just ask!
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