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#also i will probably never listen to this song again haha now that ive listened to this 20 sec clip ALL DAY
deedala · 7 months
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🌱Macy's Tag Game Twosday🌿 (x2 actually because i have some other tag games i need to catch up on and im mashing them all togther in one post) so thank you for tagging me to play one or more of these following tag games!! @celestialmickey @crossmydna @mmmichyyy @creepkinginc @lingy910y @energievie @suzy-queued @metalheadmickey @mickeysgaymom @ardent-fox @m4ndysk4nkovich @rereadanon @mikhailoisbaby @tanktopgallavich @scurvgirl 💖💖💖 name: deanna🌱
your birthday: Nov 17
where in the world are you? O Hi O 🌽
when did you join tumblr? 2011
do you have any sideblogs? yeah not very active though
mobile or desktop? both both both
your perfect sleeping conditions: 70 degrees, flannel comforter, face mask and bonnet, cozy sweatshirt and socks. Yes i sleep in fuzzy socks dont at me.
a movie you think everyone should see at least once: hmmm... The Fall (2006)
what shoes do you wear the most often? slip on sneakers
describe your keys to me: key to my house with a pink cover, key to my parents house with no cover, my car key, my husbands spare car key, a loop wrist strap made from a piece of a limited run woven baby wrap design that was dedicated to the FB babywearing group i helped found like 8 million years ago, and my red wallet attached by TWO carabiners because listen you just never know when you'll need a second carabiner. Also i have a picture of my kids in the little wallet window where you're supposed to put your ID (ig?) 😊
find the book closest to you. turn to page 7. what’s the 7th word? "was"
what’s your favorite snack? popcorn
one of your aspirations: inner peace
and finally, tell me a random fact about yourself: ive been white water rafting a few times. as a youth...i dont think i'd ever go again though lol
rest of the tag games under the cut!
next up this picrew
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(i need a fucking hair cut)
Favorites Collage: (as always my favorites change based on mood and day but these are pretty common favorites!!)
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animal: house finch movie: The Fall (2006) season: autumn character: today right now its Mickey color: mint hobby: vidja gams book: The Masked Empire by Patrick Weekes song: The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel drink: lemonade
and finally... this or that? ABO or Soulmates // fake dating or secret dating // fix-it or post-canon // mutual pining or friends-to-lovers // slow burn or angst // smut or romance // Reality TV au or Porn au //Enemies to lovers or Enemies to friends to lovers // Domestic Fluff or Hurt/Comfort // Coffee Shop au or College au // one-shot or multi-chapter // Crossover or canon compliant // mpreg or adoption // online romance or workplace romance // single parent au or sports au // neighbours or roommates // sci-fi au or magic au i was thinking of picking fix-it..but i think the fix-it type things i usually end up reading fall more under AU canon divergent rather than what is probably simply fix-it. also excuse me but smut IS romantic imo lolol. also also slow burn tends to be angsty so i felt like i could secretly pick both of those by picking slow burn haha.
and okay time to tag some nuggets to do any or all of these games!! 😆 Everyone up top + @harrowhark-a-vagrant @michellemisfit @too-schoolforcool @juliakayyy @heymrspatel @gallawitchxx @callivich @thepupperino @transmickey @grumble-fish @gardenerian @imikhailo @jrooc @milkmaidovich @grossmickey @sleepyfacetoughguy @themarchg1rl @sickness-health-all-that-shit @babygirlmickey @sweetbee78 @xninetiestrendx @vintagelacerosette @purplemagpie @squidyyy23 @sirrudo @alihendrjx + anyone else seeing this and wanting to play a thing 😋
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markets · 4 months
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hi markets how is life going for u bc basically the guy who was my best friend for years well we stopped talkign last spring completely bc long story short he was Very in love with me and i could not get myself to feel the same even though i TRIED girl i genuinely tried sohard but that just ended up with him feelinbg led on and hurt and asked to never speak to me again hahalol well yeah he just texted me out of the blue bc he got a leaked frank ocean song and sent it me. because he knows i love frank ocean and knew i wouldg love it and whAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT DOESNT HE REALIZE THAT NOW THIS SONG WILL BE FOREVER ATTACHED TO THE FEELING OF GUILT AND HEARTBREAK AND ILL NEVER BE NORMAL ABOUT A SONG THAT WILL PROBABLY NEVER BE RELEASED AND WILL ONLY EVER EXIST AS AN ATTACHMENT IN OUR MESSAGES????? anyway yeah. the song wasgood
ANON. anon listen to me because i literally had this exaxt same situation with my (now ex) best friend SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL almost two years ago. i also tried and i also accidentally led on and hurt them and they didnt ask me to never speak to them again and actually jsut ignored me all summer instead and likely got all our shared friends (aka most of my friends lol) to do the same so i just didnt bother trying to reconnect once school started again. im also currently on the other end of this kind of as the best friend who took that old best friends place (though we probably wouldve ended up becoming best friends even without that whole mess i hope) broke up with me after a few very good months of dating and a few very bad ones and i asked him not to speak to me for a while but then decided to reconnect with (which judging by the fact that im active on tumblr could be going better).
so yeah now that ive given you my credentials heres what you do you thank him if you havent already and tell him you hope hes doing well and then you put your phone down and go on a walk far far away from it and think about the whole thing. that isnt the best advice because there realyl is no good advice for this situation its one of those things that tears you apart and then points at you and says haha oh YOURE torn apart you say wow what a selfish asshole haha!! but honestly its so clear to me just from this one ask that you care about him so much and im sure he can see that too. if hes texting you he can at least see it a little, and if you would like to do so im sure your friendship is salvagable. the person who put me as the heartbreak emoji in their "people i had feelings for this year" tik tok last december invited me to their house last month and we laughed and joked even though last time i had been there i had been pretending to feel something i could only wish i truly felt. and i dont think theirs an effort more admirable and beautiful than trying to save something like that, than looking the world straight in the eyes and saying "you want me to leave this for dead but i wont because i CARE and that means something." i mean if he wants too of course. which if he sent the text he might thats kind of how i wnet about it when i tried to reconnect too. maybe take this with a grain of salt because im in a highly emotional time in my life but all im going to say is im sorry anon. i know how awful it is to lose a best friend. and im hoping everything goes well for both of you
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puphoods · 8 months
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hi I saw you recently made some posts about mother mother, showing you have good music tastes and probably are at least a little bit into music. I really want to hear more about your music tastes and what other artists you listen to and stuff because I love music and I am always interested to discover new artists and learn about other people's music tastes.
ps. I like your blog :3
HAI
mother mother has been a fave of mine for a long time smiles... i havent listened to them much in a good long while but i have been again recently haha
i am so bad at like explaining my music tastes but ill list some of my faves and link a song or two for each ill do that under a readmore though
my fave artist atm is typhoon :~) i first started listening to them bc of their album offerings which is a concept album about a man losing his memory. a lot of their stuff is concept albums but it doesnt necessarily have to be listened to all together yk. some of my fave songs are claws pt 1, never be your lover, the honest truth, new wife, and hunger and thirst
im also a glass animals head forever... have been for years. HTBAHB is my favourite album of all time and i mean that genuinely but i like their older stuff to its very unique and is a sound ive never seen anyone else come close to replicating. my faves from them... its always hard to choose because i do genuinely love almost all of their stuff haha. right now though probably pork soda, take a slice, toes, and woozy
i really like of montreal atm... i havent gotten SUPER deep into their discography but the songs i know i love. faves probably its different for girls, the past is a grotesque animal, wrath pinned to the mist, and the you i created
black dresses is also another all time fave... ive enjoyed all the stuff ive heard from their different projects outside the band as well. faves rn are cartoon network, earth worm, nausea 2019, theres nothing here worth dying for
what else do i like... radiohead mitski oingo boingo umm been listening to a lot of megan thee stallion lately.. lady lamb... ive honestly been more on a "individual songs" kick than specific artists lately so im gonna link you my spotify on repeat. all really good songs and a good chunk of them by artists that i listen to more of their stuff as well so i can recommend most of them. of the ones on here that i havent already mentioned ive been listening to a lot of post malone and saweetie but again more just the songs i know already yk... etc. hope these are good enough answers haha
ALSO if u look through my music tag on my blog everything in there i still stand by i think
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han-gyul · 2 years
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• - hmm let's see :D ~
xiaojun vs jeno
nct vs p1harmony
beatbox vs doom du doom
glitch mode vs venom
aHHH all the hard hitters straight out of the gate
xiaojun vs jeno adskdflsjdfjjjj okay this is purely based on my jeno brainrot for the past couple weeks even when i saw xiaojun's Praew magazine photos a few days ago jeno immediately just got my attention again lmao he's been soooo busy recently (running around my head LOL) ever since i saw him again at kcon LA and then smtown seoul + tokyo into promoting villain with key and then the dream concert footage these past two days and now he's on his way to ny fucking fashion week i've just been continuously devastated by him.... there is nobody else i can afford to think about right now </3
nct vs p1harmony omfg NOOOO MY PIWON BABIES :((( i was literally just rewatching a lot of their tiktoks a few hours ago i love them so much :((((((( but also sdjfaisefsfjjj after kcon i realized i just... love being an nctzen LMAO even if this is one of the most unhinged fanbases ive ever seen :') part of the reason why im not on the bird app lmao but yeah i love the neos and i love my nct hoe anthems and microwave noise music and endless amount of content and drama and they've even got me obsessed w fucking lime green... 🤢💚🌱
beatbox vs doom du doom THIS IS MY RHYTHM (DOOM DOOM) THIS IS MY SONG!!! omg i was looking back at my top songs of first half of 2022 gifset and realized none of them r group title tracks and i swear i thought beatbox would be the first one to finally break that trend (they'll probably still make my list for second half of 2022) bUT WHEN I HEARD DOOM DU DOOM I WAS INSTANTLY OBSESSSEDDD like everything from intak's opening adlibs that i have memorized to jongseob's rap part to the chorus choreo which is so cool it's one of my all time fave choreos of this year and the fact that each chorus has a different choreo because there's also soul's dance break version and the final chorus version and i love the styling in the music video especially what they were wearing in the boxing ring w the black white n neon lime fave fave FAVE also the giANT FLAGS were so pretty and i love that intak got to wave one on stage during their promotions it made the ending pose look so cool ugh yeah i literally have listened to this song every day since it came out... okay but also beatbox iS SUCH A GREAT SONG also obsessed w the colorful styling and the boom chicka boom chicka chicka boom boom choreo part w the hands and knees to shoulder isolations is so satisfying and also jaemin's solo footwork part and i think mark just really shines in that song it's so hip hop groovy and catchy it was stuck in my head for months i swearrrrr
glitch mode vs venom HUHHHHHHHH okay so i feel like i was slightly disappointed in the chorus build up for both songs, but venom definitely has a better one tho the second chorus is just soooo much better to me than the first one with the dramatic slowdown during changbin's part into the gradual speed up thru lix/hyunjin/hans raps w the iconic skz sirens going off in the background into geomijul drop to the point where i wish there was a way that the first geomijul chorus drop couldve been just as good which is so nitpicky but the track video was so good and i love the choreo for it when i saw it on tour <3 but anyways glitch mode is a hard one to beat hehe i love the very nct intro w the robot voices and the styling for the music video and the glitching choreo is so fun and also jeno (the fan chant is so cute with the echoed "nightmare" and "ok" haha) n mark's rap parts (lol i will never forget that light speed is "299792 [km] per second" now !!) and yeah i have the chorus memorized now just as a product of listening to it too often i think at this point i'm just personally very attached to this song after seeing it performed live twice too <3
> make me choose <
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mrfutureboy · 3 years
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this took me literally all day but i wanted to try my hand at making a fancam for my favorite girl! it’s pretty basic but i feel like the other two versions (because i almost always have more than one version of digital stuff i make) were kinda overwhelming and distracting. maybe i can be convinced to post them. i probably wont make a habit of making fancams because this took forever and prequel’s free trial only last 3 days, but this was a fun experience!
song: dictator by rei ami
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lunar-wandering · 2 years
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okay, alright, Encanto-inspired Monkie Kid AU time
(warning, there are a few Encanto spoilers in here)
this is very messy and not fully thought through but im just Vibing in the Space right now
im not really thinking of ships either here, mainly just want to do friendship and found family in this one because. i don’t think i’ve done nearly enough of it but i definitely Should
we start off mostly the same, with the whole “MK becomes Sun Wukong’s successor” thing staying the same way it was in canon
where things start going different though...
Wukong gets Pepa’s ability to control the weather via emotions- ‘cept it wasn’t part of his initial power set, this time around it’s a curse. one that he’s keen to not let MK know about
Bad Weather can be a lot funnier in this now that im thinking of it actually
anyways
Flower Fruit Mountain- surrounded by volcano’s, right? that means its highly likely that at one point the mountain itself was volcanically active.
yeah.
“completely unrelated” to that, Wukong gets the song “Surface Pressure”, although when that would happen specifically in this AU im still not certain about
Macaque gets to be Bruno
pretty sure y’all saw that coming
whats fun though is that here, Macaque disguises himself as a Random Monkey Demon that Also Lives on Flower Fruit Mountain, and gives MK some Bonus Training like that
(for context there’s probably like a bunch of Normal Monkey Demons that live on Flower Fruit Mountain s that’s what Macaque is disguised as)
Wukong: where- where did you learn that MK: oh, the disguise thing? i learned it from one of the other monkeys- Wukong: MK. none of the other monkeys know how to do that MK: oh. uh. i was lying, ive just been practicing on my own- Wukong, causing it to start pouring rain with his worry: MK do you know how dangerous that is what if one of your powers goes wrong and im not there to help-
the Normal Monkey Demons are the one’s that sing We Don’t Talk About Bruno in reference to Macaque.
whats fun about that is that Macaque joins in to sing the “SEVEN FOOT FRAME-” part. he’s a theater kid let him have this
anyways. after MK realizes theres something Up about this Monkey Demon in particular, he follows him back to this “small” cave on the other side of Flower Fruit Mountain, hidden by like, moss and vines and stuff. Anyways he follows Macaque into this cave and sees him change back to his normal self
MK: you’re Macaque!?! Macaque: *(jumps and shrieks, dropping the spear he was holding and sending it clanging to the ground)* MK: Macaque: MK: uh- Macaque, turning and walking away: bye. MK: no wait-
while chasing Macaque through the cave system MK sees these cracks that have been filled in with a gold liquid.
MK: have you been...filling these in to keep the mountain from falling down? Macaque: what? oh, those, no, I’m too scared to go near any of that. once the steam pressure get done releasing, the patching is all done by Wukong MK: I thought Monkey King didn’t know- Macaque, disguised as Wukong: Its me, the one and only brave and courageous Monkey King, afraid of nothing, real and in the flesh! MK: Macaque, letting the glamour fall: heh, it’s uh, actually still just me...
Macaque could hear the mountain starting to become volcanic again, and when he tried to look into the future to see if everything would be fine, he heard Wukong yelling at him right before the eruption, and concluded that, well, if he vanished, then Wukong would never be able to yell at him, and thus the eruption wouldn’t happen
MK thinks that’s utter bullshit and decides they should listen to the future again
they do need the whole “large open space” thing to do it in (especially if Macaque want’s to transfer it to MK so that he can also hear it) but since Wukong would notice if they did it on the mountain....
they go to Mei’s house
Mei: what are you doing here at 4am in the morning MK, looking like he’s been through hell and back: haha, uh, thanks for disabling the security measures Mei Macaque, standing behind him, patting out a small fire that started on his scarf from where one of the lazers hit him: security measures- who the fuck needs that many security measures, im never leaving my cave ever again-
they don’t really hear anything truly....helpful. its all kinda jumbled up, making it near impossible to hear anything really important.
during this MK gets to hear exactly what Macaque heard that made him leave, aka, Wukong yelling at him, the end of his sentence cut off by the eruption overpowering it
(no i do not have that dialogue figured out yet thanks for asking)
as soon as Macaque realizes what MK is hearing he tries to cut off the whole thing
MK makes him keep it going though
which is how they end up briefly hearing Red Son shout “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?”
so, obviously, they make the rational decision
and go and break into Red Son’s “secret lair”. (Mei told them were it was)
and thats..thats all that i have at the moment
ive got a few more parts for it obviously but i need to do a bit more thinking about all of it before i can share them fgkdjgdljfkdfjdls
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aurora-daily · 3 years
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AURORA’s Reddit Q&A (July 13th 2021)
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Kmilalv: Hello aurora we love you, I'm @ aurora.s_love on instagram ✨✨🥰🥰🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️ Aurora: oh hellooo!!!! Exportmusic: Meep Aurora: meep < 3 Lisxnne: WELL HELLO AND THANKS FOR YOUR NEW SONG! 🙏🌟💕 Aurora: HELLO!! and thank you for being open to it 24681357900: Thank u for making music Aurora: thank you for inviting it into your heart Emergency-Club-7529: This is have some upper case , it's the real Aurora Aurora: yes!!! Helloooooo brunamombach: hello ✨🃏🧚🏻‍♂️🤘🍇🍄🧚🏻‍♀️ when are you coming do Brazil? so glad to see you here!!! Aurora: I think I will be coming to Brazil next year  I love being in Brazil because I feel like it awakens my heart and soul to be there !! Brunamombach: if you were going to an souless island, what book would you bring with you? 🧚🏻‍♂️🍇🍄🧚🏻‍♀️🤘🃏 kisses from Brazil Aurora: I would either take: "The name of the wind" and "a Wise mans fear" or the LOTR trilogy. Or the "Mistborn" trilogy. or "warbreaker" or "the good omens" or "the ocean at the end of the lane" or "Anne of Green gables" or "The alchemist" or just all the books in the world oh no I cant decide
all DanParis: Hey have some karma you cool bean 🤌🏼 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 Aurora: thank you < 3 Ok-Estimate8468: Tell us something you can tell us about the second track on the Cure For Me vinyl, “Potion For Love”. I'm very curious...
Aurora: its the song I decided for the B-side of the vinyl, and I will probably release it digitally one day too. Its the sister song to "exist for love" but from the other perspective. where love does not fill you up, but love has left a big hole within you < / 3 Ok-Estimate8468: Did you get a lot of unfollows and hate from bad people due to Cure For Me? Aurora: I got a little hate from homophobes, and also abelist, and racist comments from people claiming there was nothing wrong with their mindset. BUT it does not bother me. and I will never stop speaking up about the things I find important. because.. what else would our meaning on this earth be? if that makes sense. Some people have attacked me personally, but sadly mostly its people defending their own hateful ways of being. I cant even imagine how it really is to be a victim of racism or violent homophobia, so I feel like the least I can do is to try the best I can to show support. and speak up. and be an ally.
So a bit more short - yes, and I really dont mind!!!! unfollow me if you find speaking about equality and the right to live, and love and be loved unsettling <3 thank you for this question! Ok-Estimate8468: How was the process of creating the studio version of Cure For Me? I heard your first acoustic performance and saw that it's much smoother than the studio, so I was curious to see how you managed to create another even more amazing version. Aurora: Me and Magnus just played around, and we really tried to go with our emotions, and to be playful and to not think too much about what was "AURORA" or what was even...pretty! we just laughed! and danced! and did what felt lovely to us.
I think this is why the making of this song is one of my favourite memories, and also I think that is why it sounds so playful! because it is!! it was like playing a game. and I did also play alot around with symbolics in both the lyrics and the way this song is produced. it all has a meaning you see... but of course I will let you figure that out yourself!!
Pingouiin_: What's your favourite mountain around bergen ? Aurora: mine is Løvstakken!! and Magnus loves Ullrikken!! but important to NEVER stop a Norwegian person walking on the mountain. just say. a quick hello and wander off your own mind. become at one with nature Whoamiandallthat: Thank you for existing, I love your art and you inspire me so much 💙 You are one of my favorite artists 😊 And just the other day I found out that you are just two years older than me, and so successful... I'm wondering how it was for you to become so popular, did you feel like people thought you needed a cure? I'm also in the sphere of arts - filmmaking; but I feel like my films are not good enough... I have a YouTube channel with some videos - if you ever see this comment I would like for you to check it out 😊 Aurora: Ive felt through my life like something was a little off, ive never resonated that much with the people or the "system" around me! it didn't bother me so much even though I. was teased a lot for it ( so again I was very lucky) but I never felt like I understood the world and my place in it. or how I. could fit in, in this worlds society and with other people ! and becoming "famous" which I dont really feel that I am, but I guess that I am a little "known" (meep) was very strange, and very hard to handle at first. as impressions affect me a lot, and noises and people etc. but with time I got better at handling all these impressions, and avoid getting a.. sensory overload! and I am so happy now, that I can look directly at strangers and actually listen to them, and understand them, and even love them I guess what I am trying to say, that ive now understood that this is the very thing that connected me to all of you. and now I see my place here on this earth. and I see all of you, and you give my life so much meaning!! Lets_Fight_Dragons: Firstly I wanted to say I recently discovered your music and I love everything about it. I have two questions, I hope that’s ok 1. How do you start writing songs because I’m trying to get into songwriting and I’m not sure how you write such amazing songs 2. What’s your favourite song you’ve released? Aurora: 1. well I dont really know. ( I am sorry!!) but I feel like it started really natural for me.. I. kind of just sat down with my piano.. and then I started playing around with the Keyes, and I figured out I could make an endless amount of melodies by simply pressing the keys in a different order!! remember finding this extremely magical (I was around 6 years old then) and after a while I started adding lyrics, and I just spent time looking into myself, trying to figure out. - what do I want to say? what do. I need to hear in a song? what do the world need to hear in a song? and etc. I always think about songwriting as storytelling. and I always start out by figuring out what story I want to tell, what matter I want to dress, or what pleases me, or annoys me with the world, or what emotion I need help dealing with!! and then I write a song!!! and if you feel like its difficult to come up with melodies, I would recommend finding a song you like, and learn the chords of it (or find an instrumental version. online) and then you make your own melodies on top of that! many of the songs of the world share the same chords, and often the melodies on top is the thing separating them. music belongs to all of us, and its clear that every song in the world comes from the same magical source. 2. I think its the seed. or couples creatures!! or infections of a different kind!! tiffnoir: Our dear AURORA, your b-side A Potion For Love is helping me a lot (broken heart since a few days ago). I wanted to ask (if I can haha) if would it be included at the upcoming album, or maybe a relaxing, vintage video for it? Thanks for helping all of us with your music ^_^ Aurora: thank you som much for letting this song into your heart  after writing exist for love, I figured that I should also make a sister-song that could belong for the ones with a broken heart as well  it will not be on the album, but for you I will try to put it on the deluxe version FedahpWithThisWurld: Hello, Aurora! I'm a neurodivergent person and I have always felt a lot of shame over being the way I am, like I'm not good enough. Your music makes me feel better and it makes me feel that being me is okay. Thank you for that.  I want to know how you manage to be so confident? Do you ever get nervous before a show? Aurora: hello!!!! I have had a lot of similar experiences with myself in this world too.. so I am very sad to hear you've lived your life with this feeling I think after a while I understood what makes me different also makes me special. and special is good. and if you think about it, special isn't even that different, because in one way or another we are all... unique. but of course, some people have had to fight their. way through life more than others.. making it less easy to learn how to love yourself. and accept yourself. I guess, now I've surrounded myself with good people who understand my quirks and sensitivities, people who give me time. and space to be me. I have also been lucky, because I have a family that have always encouraged me to be myself. and to love myself. and I guess that is why I am trying to convey to all of you now, because now we are like al little family. where being who you are - is cool. and you're cool. and were all cool. and I get nervous all the time, of all sorts of things! but I just accept that feeling as a part of being human. its uncomfortable yes, but I know at least it won't kill me! 3charmplease: What was it like recording for Frozen? Aurora: it was magical  and also slightly scary. but it felt safe and good calling at the mountains. and I feel warm thinking about it. especially now. cause my father just walked over to me with five little strawberries in his hand. he gave them all to me. and they were so small, and sweet. im currently sitting in my childhood home, right next to the very piano where I wrote "runaway" and so many other songs. Tiny-Sink-2397: Boom shake shake shake the room Aurora: that was actually during the recording process of Cure For Me! Tiny-Sink-2397: I thought it was!! Seemed like an epic party Aurora: YES Joelynxyzs: what's your favorite movie ? Aurora: Practical magic BUT ALSO THESE: The LOTR triology ALL GHIBLI MOVIES avatar once upon a time in Hollywood Hannah the perfume fantastic MR. fox Star Wars: a new hope rouge one isle of dogs the hunchback of Notre dame! the arrival stypop: If you were to get the chance to work on a sequel to another Disney movie, which one would you want it to be? Aurora: since Disney owns Lucas films I would love to be a part of the Star Wars universe  or to play either a magical fairy, witch mermaid, forest nymph, or a scary beast!! WE WO brisot: The masks in CFM remind me of theater plays, do you ever watch any and how much of an influence for you is the art of acting? Aurora: this era of my life is very influenced by the ancient times where theatre was all they had. no CGI or special effects etc. and I really wanted all these videos to feel very authentic, and down to earth! The shell in "exist for love" was handmade by someone, and I painted all the masks in "cure for me" myself! so I like it when it feels... human Clear-Champion-1833: i love you Aurora:
<3
Jicuhrabbitkim: How do you like your fried eggs cook!! I like it when its very crispy!! Aurora: as long as its from a local farm that has free healthy chickens that walk about freely and eat good food I like my eggs crispy too. GhostReaper3: Hi I have a question as well: How do you keep positive? Many people including myself find this difficult sometimes so it would be good to hear your technique or way of keeping upbeat and positive! Also, thank you for sharing your music with us! Aurora: I know what you mean, i've struggled with it myself at times. but I guess I tried separating in my mind what I can do something about, and what I cant? if that makes sense?? we are all just here on this planet. and though we all seem to be going though the same things we still feel so alone, in our thoughts and in our minds. And I've been very aware that with music, and with this fandom we can all finally connect, and see each other, and know that we are not alone! and if there is one thing I love, it is to dance a little after I've cried. I think its important to. shake these emotions out of our body. like animals do! and then I made CURE FOR ME. because I thought about all the warriors out there feeling. a little crazy... after isolation! or after being depressed! and being l rocked in with their families that might not accept them for who they are.. and I thought I needed to make a song for us all, that felt a little uplifting. and uniting. just so we know where not alone, and just so we know that we are worthy.. of everything! and that we are worthy of celebrating ourselves!! ALWAYS! aniri003: Were the dancers freestyling in the last part of the video Aurora: YES! I told them to put their freak game on. And they were amazing. L_pls_use_revive: Hei Aurora! Apart from inspiring me with your music for emotional people, I also dicovered my love for Norway and the Norwegian language through you - now studying it in my second year at university. Tusen, tusen takk! I want to visit soon when traveling is safe - So which place should I not miss out on? Have a great life! Aurora: I think the whole of Norway is worth visiting! there are so many beautiful places. and beautiful people! I would ofc. recommend Bergen! (haha!) but also places like Tromsø, Trondheim, Stavanger, lofted and The Geirangerfjord and the Northwest!!! HAHA KakSetoKaiba: How's the progress of the album that you've been preparing which will be released after your death? Aurora: its going well, I take one song for every chapter and I put it on my death album instead of the album I'm making  its going well. and im excited about it! maria_fernandez_: This is not a question but I just wanted to tell you that discovering you and your music has been the best thing that ever happened to me. What your music makes me feel cannot be described in words. I love you so much. Greetings from Spain!! Aurora: thank you!!! applepieaurora: Whats your favorite pie? 🐉 Aurora: apple pie  and blueberry pie!! Ok-Potato7244: Thanks for sharing your time ... a warrior here to welcome you...Have some tea...And i don't need a cure for disliking keeping animals in cages...Especially birds...💚... Aurora: thank you pekaraseva: what do you feel when you perform Ioadk or Adkoh for people? Aurora: I feel so full of emotion and love and despair I could almost explode  and its wonderful. I also feel insanely connected to the audience when I sing these songs.. I. think. its because they are such important pieces of my soul targaryenblood02: omg what do you think cure for me would smell like? 🐛 Aurora: like something Brazilian! like Asai! or caipirinha! or Brigadeiro!
sproutingephemeral: Hello Aurora, Thanks for your new song, I've gotten quite addicted to it😊 I have a question that might be a bit difficult to answer. I am a Warrior from the U.S. currently without a clue of where I should be and what I should be doing. I'm done with school, and in the process of moving to a new town with my parents. I'm applying for jobs, but I feel like I can't find my reason for being in a smaller area with not many people my age. I feel like my parents are trying to mold me into a certain person, which doesn't feel authentic to me. I probably should be making more of my own decisions at my age, but I'm a bit scared and confused, if what I think is deemed too unrealistic or out of line with their expectations for me (like a childhood dream?). I tried talking to them about it, to little success. Is there something inherently wrong with me? Or am I just being spoiled or lazy? I read about how you were initially opposed to starting your career until your mother convinced you to change your mind. How do you know whether or not to trust in your parents' plans for you? On a lighter note, do you prefer cookies that are more soft (chewy) or hard (crumbly)? I don't need a cure for...my autism, and tendency to talk regularly to my deceased cat at his grave (??)😿👼 Looking forward to seeing you in New York! Take care❤❤ Aurora: you should ALWAYS. only do what feels right for you. this world is very absurd, and people tend to think they know what is meaningful and what is important. but we all know, money and success isn't important beyond what you need to simply survive. this one life is yours. and you should be just who you want. and do what feels right for you. because its yours. its only yours. drink tea. work hard. be lazy. dance. be shy. laugh, cry. drink wine and eat good bread. be good. fight for something you care about. and either live for your work, or work a little and then just... live. get a garden, grow tomatoes, get a cat. or a dog. or a parrot. life can be so random, and it can be both so little, and so large at the same time. some days were meant to TAKE chances, and live. and sometimes were just meant to exist. and do nothing. you should never feel guilty for not "being enough" because you are enough. just who you are. just how you are. is enough. good luck on your strange journey my warrior, maybe our paths crosses and maybe they dont. but know, when you walk out of your door, that anything can happen! and the whole world is yours. Hippolyte_gray: is the name of the next album hidden in your previous songs ? Aurora: mayyyyyybeeeeeeeee rashadalt: what do you think about your fans who are racist/homophobic etc.? Aurora: I feel sorry for them. because I know I cant be easy l living a life so full of hate. and even spending your precious. time on this world bringing other people down. and I know how easy it is for people to be driven by fear, and how difficult. it can be to have an original meaning and stand up for what you really mean. so I dont judge them, or hate them,
but I do feel sorry for them. and I am also very disappointed in them. because its such a. waste of human potential to live your life in the paths of hatred.
but as long as we face hate with love, we will eventually win. when we show them. we are not the enemy, just people trying to make a better world, I think, and I hope that eventually we can all agree that being able to live, and being able to love is a human right. Brivera726: I noticed you said you would bring LOTR trilogy with you to an island- I’m reading them for the fourth time right now  I feel like if Galadriel sing songs it would sound like you! Anyway I really like your art so yah just keep doing u- love from PFC Rivera, USMC Aurora: this is then est thing ive ever read thank you Aurora: I am. sorry people, but my time here (for tonight) is up </3 but I will probably be back looking at your questions and thoughts because I did really. enjoy this. and I. love you all so. much.
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popcornsalty · 3 years
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*kicks down door* HELLO IN THIS ESSAY I WILL BE ONLY TALKING ABOUT RWBY OKAY ON TO THE ESSAY (all dsmp folks referenced is talking about there character) okay SO, im actually gonna start with is this life is mine (by jeff williams feat casey lee williams) because its a fantastic song for all four manipulated minors (tm), plus some other characters. so basic premise of the song: the singer is monologing to/about an unheard antagonist, talking about what the antag has done to them, how theyve made their life suck and made them feel powerless and taken their autonomy and stuff like that. this song is pretty much the singer/narrator saying no more, ive had it, im down, this is where the bullshit youve done to me ends, im my own person and you cannot take that from me anymore. hence the name, this life is mine. so, from that, you can already guess the first character id slap this song onto. our beloved protagonist, c!tommyinnit. and it works really well for him. HOWEVER i did say it works for all the manipulated minors, not just tommy; so now, im gonna actually bring out just like a little bit of the lyrics! (important thing about most of the songs ill be talking about: alot of it is designed as fight scene music, which is pretty cool, but like none of these are like super sad and slow for very long if at all. just wanted to note that) 1.{There’s a part of me that’s desperate for changes; Tired of being treated like a pawn; But there’s a part of me that stares back; From inside the mirror; Part of me that’s scared I might be wrong; That I can’t be strong} 1. this first (second stanza?) bit i like to think of as like, tommys thoughts when he was in exile and starting to realize that it was fuck and he needed to leave but was still super unsure, cause yknow, emotional abuse, innit.
2. {I’ve been afraid, never standing on my own; I let you be the keeper of my pride; Believed you when you told me I was nothing on my own; Listen when I say; I swear it here today; I will not surrender, this life is mine} 2. now this second bit (third stanza? idk) can either go to tommy OR tubbo. clingy duo russian roulette. which ones gotta dependency issues, had his power taken and abilities ridiculed? YOU DECIDED. haha, but yeah this is sorta where you can start to see what i mean that it can apply to many characters.
3. {Amazing how you conquered me; Chained me in servility and made me see; The world the way you told me to; But I was young and didn’t have a way to know the truth; Born to live your legacy; Existing just to fill your needs, a casualty Of this so-called family that you have turned into a travesty} 3. alright so, this is where i put myself on a silly little hill and swing a bat at a hornet nest: this bit can, not only be taken as tubbo talking to the ghost of the past presidents of lmanburg, tommy telling dream to go eat shit, but also tommy telling technoblade and wilbur off. yeah yeah vilburs a cringe headcanon yada yada. HOWEVER its very canon that wilbur was not the best role model for tommy, as 1. wilburs spiral after the pressure of his presidency and the election being the straw that breaks the camels back lead to him having a worsening mental state that, really, tommy shouldnt have felt responsible for trying to fix him (you cant fix him besty hes an adult, he shouldnt be relying on you in the first place, thats not healthy) AND 2 tommys statement about wilbur getting into peoples heads and making it hard to actually think about stuff and instead just going along with wilburs whims and stuff because of proverbial rose colored lenses, is kinda true. does this automatically villianize wilbur, in my opinion, no. its just something tommy realized and doesnt feel comfortable having to go through again, considering he already had all of his autonomy violently stripped from him before. and also tommy probably just not wanting to follow wilbur around again like his little loyal sheep. we should really consider the effects of exile on how tommy interacts with other characters a lot more. MOVING ON 4. this next bit can pretty much be slapped with any of the four manipulated minors, although ranboo less so, cause hes just like that.
4. {I’m not your pet, not another thing you own; I was not born guilty of your crimes; Your riches and your influence can’t hold me anymore; I won’t be possessed; Burdened by your royal test; I will not surrender, this life is mine} i shall end this one here. in my next correspondence i shall present a different song. till then!
Yo i got nothing to add except yo thats dope af and very :00 and i want to hear more. Also the analysis-like parts are *chefs kiss*
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jefferoni-quotes · 4 years
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Jamilton Playlist - Updated
hey! so a while back i made a jamilton playlist, but since then i’ve added and removed a few songs. some songs have simply been removed because i dont enjoy them anymore. as always, leave recommendations and add ideas!
Hey Stupid, I Love You by JP Saxe - Listen, this song is so perfect. Someone sent me an ask about it once so I gave it a listen and it fits so well! They’re both so stupid. “hE cAnT cArE aBoUt mE hE hAtEs mE”
Heather by Conan Gray - This one is a bit angstier. Alexander about Thomartha. Except, the last chorus. Thomas kisses him and all Alexander can react with is shock. He thinks it’s a prank or a sick joke, so he gets mad. “Why would you ever kiss me? I’m not even half as pretty!” (Please,,, don’t steal this idea I’m writing it :( )
Overwhelming by Jon Bellion - This is such a good song. I’m thinking first verse from Thomas’ perspective and the second from Alexander’s. The rest is up to you. It has some amazing lines like, “there is a potion in your lips, so sweet, I’d die.” And, “there is an ocean in your hips so deep I’d die.” It’s such an amazing song, go listen to Jon Bellion, I love him.
Boys Will Be Bugs by Cavetown - There’s a lot of cavetown songs on this list so bare with me. Thomas has fragile masculinity and my mind can’t be changed. Also I like applying Thomas to cavetown songs sorry not sorry. “If you wanna cry make sure that they never see it, or even better yet, block it out and never feel it.” Mmm, just sayin’.
Sweet Tooth by Cavetown - I don’t really have an explanation for this other than it’s a good song and it inspires a lot of Jamilton within me.
Telescope by Cavetown - Same as last time, it gives me motivation to write Jamilton. Mostly Jefferson angst, not gonna lie
IV. Sweatpants by Childish Gambino - LiSten this song is so perfect for Thomas. “Rich kid asshole, paint me as a villain.” B U T after the line “I don’t give a fuck about my family name!” The song changes for a few seconds before it goes back to normal and I think that’s an excellent opportunity to slip in TJ angst.
Affluenza by Conan Gray - Mm, angst? I think so. This time I say we add some Lafayette and Madison since they were both rich too. I just think this would be nice to see Alexander helping Thomas find some motivation again.
HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T by Fall Out Boy - It’s just a go to song for ships! It’s cute okay–
bad idea! by girl in red - They probably think sleeping with their rival is a bad idea. But that won’t stop them! Anyway, I feel like the first verse/chorus is from Alexander’s P.O.V, and the second verse/chorus from Thomas’s P.O.V, the rest could be shared or split up however you’d like.
Peach Scone by Hobo Johnson - First of all, this song slaps. It’s so good. Its unique and I love it. Also, its totally from Thomas’ perspective. He’s helping Alexander with his relationship with Eliza and pretending he doesnt have the biggest fucking crush on him.
Hot Fuck No Love by clipping.- Listen its sung by clipping. Daveed fucking sings this. You know I had to.
Dazzle by Oh Wonder - Thomas trying to impress Alexander. And Alexander being, “haha yeah you cute but also you don’t know what you’re doing with your life."
Sunshine Riptide by Fall Out Boy and Burna Boy - It fits well. A lot of FØB songs do. I get a lot of inspiration from this.
Backyard Boy by Claire Rosinkranz - High School AU. S,,soft,,,, they’re happy together. But also this could be angsty, like at the end. Turn it into a bittersweet ending.
Drinking Alone by Carrie Underwood - Thomas is sad and at a bar, Alexander tries to make conversation. They get drunk and hook up? I think so!
Beautiful Trauma by P!nk - Unstable relationship? I think so. Also the music video? Just saying… this could easily be Jamilmads too. P!nk being Alexander. Thomas being the husband. Listen I’m just s a y in g
Shallow by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper - I just find this song so sweet and Jamilton deserves to be sweet sometimes okay.
Lemon Boy by Cavetown - Alexander being the metaphorical Lemon Boy. Everytime Thomas tries to get rid of him be appears again until he learns to live with (and eventually love) him.
Can’t Help Falling In Love by Twenty One Pilots - The cover of the Elvis Presley one because this one is a little more fast paced and that fits Jamilton better.
Sex With A Ghost by Teddy Hyde - Listen, after the duel. Thomas is trying to forget about Alexander but swears he keeps seeing him in the mirror and- hang on a second, where did those hickies come from?
Sweet Hibiscus Tea by Penelope Scott - I get many Jamilton ideas from this song, certain lines. “I am not your protagonist, I’m not even my own,” I’m just saying, I’m feeling some Jamilton in this song.
How To Be A Heartbreaker by MARINA - I can’t believe this wasn’t on the playlist until now! Picture it, Thomas gets rejected (you can decide who rejected him, I like to think it was Angelica, but this also works with him being rejected multiple times) and it hits a little hard. He decides from there on to stick to the heart-breaker role, and do onto others as was done onto him. Hence, leading Alexander on.
Hatef–k by The Bravery - I found this song recently and I fell in love. It’s so damn good, and it fits Jamilton to a T. Enemies to lovers hookup that leads to feelings? Yes.
prom dress by mxmtoon - I’m not sure why I saved this one, it just feels angsty. Alexander’s date ditching him at prom and crying in the bathroom when Thomas walks in, they talk it out and hang out together at prom. Mmm.
Devil Town by Cavetown - “Mom and daddy aren’t in love, that’s fine, I’ll settle for two birthdays” both of them! I really love applying cavetown songs to Thomas (and Alexander)
Choke by I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME - Jamilton but while they’re still enemies. The song sounds so upbeat but the lyrics are like… homicidal and I think that’s pretty perfect.
Strawberries & Cigarettes by Troye Sivan - Them…….. being cute. I always think that this could be a nice high school AU, with them in senior year.
Can’t Sleep Love by Pentatonix - The two of them kind of start dating, but it’s never official. They can’t seem to sleep without the other being there. The very last “can’t sleep love” is Thomas finally messaging Alexander that he ‘can’t sleep’ and the last “yeah!” is Alexander responding that he’ll come over.
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fydream · 4 years
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34 | previous | next | m.list | main m.list |
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✰ how to be a heartbreaker
↳ so what happens when park jisung, the school’s infamous fuckboy runs into the new girl at school? out of boredom he decides it’ll be fun to have someone new to play with, but little does he know, she’s learning how to be a heartbreaker.
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a/n: hi! an authors note before this chapter begins! 1. yes i know the formatting is different but that’s only because this chapter is 5.9k words long!! (yes you heard me!! 5.9k!! that’s the most ive written for anything published on this blog!!) so there will be a cut bc i know it’s annoying to scroll past long posts haha. 2. i know i didn’t mention it in this chapter but i just wanted to say that if you did want to listen to music while reading this, during y/n and jisung’s scene you should definitely listen to euphoria by bts and that jeno and donghyuck’s song is i.l.y. by the rose. i hope u guys enjoy!
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An hour or so later you're running out your front door to meet Jisung, who already regrets saying he'll wait.
"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry-" You apologize. "I didn't mean to take that long you must've been bored out of your mind!"
"It's okay." Jisung reassures. "We won't be there that long, we might be a little late to hoco if that's okay with you."
"That's fine!! Just let me text Donghyuck that I'm with you then."
"Okay."
The ride to where Jisung is taking you is quiet, nothing but his various hums to the music he plays as as he drives. It's nice, it reminds you of the first time he gave you a ride home. Quiet, but comfortable.
Instead of looking at your phone you look out the window, then take a second to look at Jisung before looking back out the window again.
You so weren't slick about it either because he notices how you quick you look away and how eager you are to sneak another glance.
"What?" He asks. "Why'd you look at me like that?"
"It's nothing.." You mumble, trying best to hide the smile that's slowly creeping up on your face.
"C'mon." He insists. "Tell me!!" He tries to make it sound like he doesn't care about the topic that much, but his vocal chords work against him as it comes out as a whine.
"Nothing.. It's just.. You look like that, and I look like this.."
"What, you mean beautiful like always?"
Jisung makes note of how quickly your cheeks turn pink at the comment he made.
"You can't just say that!" You argue.
"Yes I can, you're my date tonight after all. What kind of person would I be to not compliment their date?"
You open your mouth, about to speak before he cuts you off from your thought. "And don't worry y/n. I'll take that look as a compliment itself." He snickers.
"Hey!" You shout, earning another laugh from him.
"Hey Jisung?" You ask once the giggles die down.
"Hm?"
"Don't tell anyone I've said this but um.." You start, trailing off at the last part. "Donghyuck has uh, told me things.. about you." You notice how he looks at you, how the expression on his face quickly changes from happy and carefree, to concerned and worried. "I know you probably know what I'm talking about.. I uh- I can kinda.. tell.."
"Yeah." He whispers, trying to block out what you just told him.
"But y'know. I think he's got you all wrong."
"You do?" He asks, a bit too eagerly.
"I do." You say. "From the past how many weeks? Of knowing you, we've gotten close. And I don't think you're anything like that, at least, not anymore.. I've seen the difference between how you act in class and when you're with Jeno and Jaemin, than how you are when we're together and I'd like to hope it isn't just an act. I'm not stupid, y'know."
"I never said you were, I never thought you were either."
"I know. You're not too hard to read, y'know."
For once, Jisung is left speechless. This is the first time anyone has really brought this up on him and he has no idea how to respond. Questions begin to flood his thoughts as he begins to wonder what do you know. Do you know the real reason why he asked you out? How long have you known? What if you never want to talk to him again?
"I-" He tries to speak, but nothing comes out.
"It's okay. I don't know everything about you." You scoff, watching as the boy next to you lets out an exhale. "I don't know that much, but I know enough."
"Enough?" He asks.
"Enough to know that if you are going to break my heart, you should do it right now. Because this is the part where I'm about to tell you how much I like you, and I don't want you getting that satisfaction."
Once you're done talking, you give him a smile. It's a small, innocent, bittersweet smile. It's one of the smiles you would give out to other girls who were ever mean to you, it's subtle, but it gets the point across.
"So what'll be? Park Jisung." You ask, awaiting a response.
Jisung has many things to think about right now, the most important one being driving. He still has yet to process everything you just told him, let alone figure out what to say.
"I.. don't know what to tell you, y/n." He sighs. "I don't want to hurt you.. Can you give me a few minutes?"
"You can have all the time in the world, sweetheart."
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When Jisung finally decides to talk to you once you've reached your destination. If you're going to be honest, it was the most awkward car ride you've been in.
"Okay." He starts, closing his car door. "I know that was way more than a few minutes but I just wanted to tell you this here."
The spot that he had taken you to was a little hill area, on the other side of town. From the top of it you could see the sun set as it's golden rays covered the place you called home. You weren't going to lie, it was beautiful indeed but you didn't care for it at the moment. What you wanted to know was what he was going to say.
"I was.. gonna tell you this here no matter what happened so uh.. Here goes nothing?" There's hesitation, and you can already tell that whatever he was going to tell you was something big. "I'm not here to break your heart, y/n. I know, that's what you thought and probably what everyone else thought too but.. you're different. I know this."
Your brain wants you to call bullshit on that statement but your heart prevents you from doing so. The logical part of you believes that it's probably all a lie, an act just to get you to fall for him. You know this. You know the stories, you've seen the receipts of what he's done to people before you, and you can only assume the things he'll do just to make you fall for him. But if you knew this, then why does it still work?
"Am I really different?" You ask, looking up at him with shaky eyes.
He chuckles.
"Well, yeah. For starters, you're the first girl to ever call me out on my bullshit like that so.." He jokes. "I know.. you're scared. But you shouldn't be." He whispers. "You really are different. I promise."
"Listen, Jisung." You start. "I really want to believe you. It's just hard, because you haven't really given me a reason on why I should."
"That's okay. I understand." He says softly. "I didn't expect you to."
For a second, your heart breaks. It would've continued if he didn't continue talking right then and there.
"But what if I told you all the reasons why you should?" He asks, giving you a shy smile.
"What are they?"
"Well first of all. You're smart. You're smarter than I'll ever be. You've figured me out in what? The span of three months? You don't give yourself enough credit than you deserve. Second of all, you're really passionate about a lot of things. Like that time we argued in the library over the best Stranger Things season? Even though you were wrong, you kept arguing against me."
"Hey!" You exclaim, while Jisung gives you a smile in response.
"Third of all, you're really cute. Don't think I don't notice how your nose scrunches whenever I make a comment you don't like, or how easily you get excited over the simplest things. Remember when we walked to the cafe across the street from school? You got excited because the place had good boba, out of all things. Do you know how ridiculous you sounded?"
"Well- yeah! That's because it was a cafe! And not a boba shop!" You defend.
"I'm kidding." He chuckles. "Also, did you know that whenever you get embarrassed over something not only your cheeks turn pink, but your nose does too."
"You can stop now.. y'know.." You mumble.
"These are just a few things that I like about you, y/n. Do I need to tell you all of them for you to believe me?" He asks, looking at you innocently, as if he didn't just give you the biggest ego boost of all time.
"I believe you." You giggle as he pulls you in for a tight hug.
"Thanks, love." He whispers, placing a light kiss on the top of your head. "Now it's your turn. What were you going to tell me in the car?"
The next hour or so is spent with you two talking about each other, both of you giving out compliments as if there were no tomorrow. If it weren't for the sun being completely gone then you two probably wouldn't have noticed how long you've been alone together.
"Oh my god." Jisung exclaims. "What time is it?"
"Uhm.. Seven fifteen?" You respond, quite confused on why he was suddenly freaking out.
"We have to go, now. They're going to close the doors in like ten minutes."
"Oh. Okay!" You smile, eagerly skipping back to Jisung's car with his hand intertwined with yours. "We better get going then, huh?"
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"Y/n said that she might be late because she's with Jisung already." Donghyuck tells Renjun and Chenle once pull up in front of his house.
Renjun had driven both of them together due to them only being a block away from each other. Donghyuck on the other hand was going to drive you, but when you texted him that you were already with Jisung he decided to ask Renjun for a ride. "Sorry for the inconvenience.. by the way." He mumbles, buckling his seat belt.
"It's alright. Where do you think they went?" Renjun asks.
"Hell if I know. This is the most I've seen Jisung do for anyone." Donghyuck retorts, clearly bitter about being ditched by his best friend.
"Should we be worried?" Chenle asks.
"I don't think so." Donghyuck responds. "Y/n is her own person and she can handle herself, plus what the fuck is Jisung even gonna do? They probably went to take pictures or something."
Chenle shrugs. "I guess so. How are you doing then?"
"What do you mean?"
Chenle shrugs again. "You know what I mean. During the time you two fought you barely said anything to each other, it was just her hanging out with Jisung. Then, even after you made up she ditched us to hang out with him and even now they're probably on a date before the dance or something. How are you dealing with it?"
Once Chenle is done talking, Renjun shoots him a glare before hitting him lightly on the back of his head.
"Ouchie.. That hurt!" Chenle whines. "Aren't you supposed to be driving Junnie.~~" He teases.
"Yeah but I'm also trying to make sure no one fucking cries tonight." He hisses. "Why would you even ask that?"
"I dunno. Was curious I guess?"
"Haven't you heard the phrase curiosity killed the cat?"
"It's been alright." Donghyuck says to prevent Renjun from harming Chenle any more. "I haven't really thought about it I guess? I mean.. I was the one who assigned her to Jisung after all so.."
"Do you think she y'know? Likes him?" He asks.
"Chenle!"
"Whaaaat?? I'm just asking."
"Zhong Chenle you will drop this topic before I stop this car and make you walk to homecoming alone."
"You wouldn't do that. You love me too much."
"Don't try me." Renjun threatens, turning on his blinker.
"Okay okay.. god.."
"Are you two done arguing now?" Donghyuck asks, rolling his eyes. "And no, Chenle. I don't think she does. If she did she would've told me by now."
"Alright Hyuck.. Whatever you say."
Sooner than later the three arrive at school where Renjun drops off Chenle and Donghyuck to hop in the line already forming before leaving to park his car.
"Ask any more questions Lele, and you're walking home." Renjun threatens before Chenle slams the car door on him.
"I mean it this time!" Renjun yells as he watches the two boys walk away from him.
"So." Chenle starts as Renjun drives off. "What's your answer?"
Donghyuck gives him a confused look. "Answer?"
"To y'know.. the question."
"I already told you."
"No silly, I meant your real answer."
Donghyuck is silent for a second before he decides to answer.
"How did you know?" He asks, and Chenle giggles.
"You just told me." He laughs. "I didn't think you'd walk into that one, Hyuck."
"Oh shut up." Donghyuck teases. "It's not like it would matter or anything."
"I supposed you're right." Chenle hums. "But if it did.. Then what?"
"Then I'd tell her to get out of there." Donghyuck whispers to himself.
"Hm?"
"Oh- uh, nothing. I dunno." Donghyuck responds. He knows he has no chance in fooling Chenle but even after that response you'd know not to bother him about the topic anymore.
Once Renjun is done parking he meets up with the two boys and they discuss about how their night will go. While the line slowly moves Renjun argues with Chenle that they should take photos first. Chenle argues back saying that he wants snacks and that all the good ones will be gone if they wait too long. While this goes on Donghyuck has been sending you frequent texts.
[hyuck: hey! we're in line now! see you in a bit?]
[hyuck: are you on your way soon?]
[hyuck: pls hurry.. renle fighting.. dk what to do..]
Needless to say, you haven't responded to any one of them, leaving Donghyuck wonder what you were even doing.
After successfully waiting in line and making it through their schools quick security check, Chenle, Renjun, and Donghyuck had finally made it inside the gymnasium where the dance was being held.
Once inside they move to an quieter place, where they could talk without having to yell over the already loud music that's being played.
"What about you Hyuck?" Renjun asks. "What do you want to do first?"
"Hmm? What? Sorry." Donghyuck responds, checking his phone once more before pocketing it. "What's happening?"
Renjun frowns. "You weren't listening, huh?"
"No, sorry." He apologizes. "Y/n hasn't texted me back yet and I don't want to do anything until she gets here y'know?"
"Don't worry Hyuck, it's possible they're still outside or something. They just opened the doors y'know."
"Yeah I know.. I'm just.. yeah."
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Ten minutes later, you still haven't responded and the music is loud, but it's not loud enough to drown out Donghyuck's heartbeat as he frantically awaits your arrival. As each second passes by he begins to regret letting you go with Jisung, because you're never late, but the second that he lets Jisung control how your night starts you're ten minutes late and they're be closing the doors to the dance soon.
Renjun begins to notice that you aren't here either and decides walk over to Donghyuck to ask if he knew where you were.
"Hyuck, is Y/n here yet?" He asks, tapping his shoulder lightly.
Donghyuck gives no verbal response, instead he shakes his head while he fiddles with his phone checking back if you happened to text him. "I don't know where she is Junnie.."
"Hey, it's okay." He reassures. "It's not like she's in danger or anything, I know you don't trust Jisung that much but I doubt he'd do anything to hurt her. She'll be here soon, okay? I promise."
"Junnie~~" Chenle whines, popping up from behind them. "I'm boredddd. Can't we just do something already?"
"Lele, not now." Renjun shoos. "We're talking here."
"It's okay." Donghyuck says. "You guys can go do something, it's fine. I don't want to keep you from having fun tonight."
"Are you sure?" Renjun asks, he knows not to believe Donghyuck but he's getting quite annoyed at the fact that Chenle keeps pulling at his arm.
"Yeah. It's fine, if anything happens I'll text one of you."
"You heard him!! Let's go!!" Chenle exclaims before grabbing Renjun by the arm to drag him to god knows where.
"Chenle!" Renjun yelps. "I-I'll text you Hyuck! We won't be gone for long. I swear!" He yells back at him.
And then the two were gone. Leaving Donghyuck alone, by himself.
One of the worst feelings in the world is feeling alone, in a place full of people.
He doesn't know why he let them go off without him, maybe it's because he wanted to be alone, or maybe it's because he didn't know any better. But standing alone on the sides of a school dance, with no one to talk to really shows how lonely you are. He knows none of you meant to do it to him on purpose, it's just him overthinking things after all. But if he was okay with them leaving, then why did it hurt?
Deciding it was awkward enough to just stand there and people watch, Donghyuck decides to go back on his phone. He checks your text messages only to see no response. "Great." He thinks to himself. "You said you would be here, but you're not. I guess you did spend a lot of time with them after all."
Donghyuck feels himself about to cry when someone taps his shoulder. He closes his eyes trying to fight back the few tears that threaten to spill before having to talk to whoever was with him. He didn't want to answer any questions on why he was crying, only knowing that if someone asked him if he was okay he wouldn't be able to control them.
When Donghyuck looks up from his phone, the last person he expected to see is standing in front of him.
"Hi." Jeno greets. It's short, and airy. But it's just enough to get his heart racing. Is it from fear? Worry? Or is it from the fact that his ex, just so happened to catch him at the wrong place and wrong time.
"Hi." Donghyuck responds. It doesn't mean much because he didn't put any emotion into it, instead he decides to focus his attention elsewhere. He looks past Jeno towards the entrance of the gymnasium in hopes of seeing you walk in, spoiler alert, you didn't. "Chenle and Renjun picked the worst time to leave.." He thinks to himself. "I can't blame them though, after all I did tell them it was okay."
"You um- You look beautiful." Jeno compliments, giving Donghyuck a half-hearted smile. "So I've been told.." Donghyuck murmurs before attempting to push past the boy standing in front of him. "Listen. I don't have any time for this right now. Y/n said she would be here and she's not so-"
"Hyuck- Donghyuck, wait." Jeno starts, grabbing Donghyuck's wrist to prevent him from going any further.
"What the fuck? Let go of me!" He yells. It's loud enough to get the attention of a few people around him, but the music the DJ is playing is way to loud for them to have heard what he said.
"Hyuckie, I- Will you please let me explain?" Jeno practically begs, this is the first time that he and Donghyuck have interacted in person since the break up and he can already tell that he's blowing it.
"Don't- Don't call me that." Donghyuck states, hesitant to answer. "You've already explained yourself enough."
"Hyuckie.. Please. We haven't talked in months, you haven't let me say anything."
Of course, Jeno had to find Donghyuck in one of these moments, where one of their songs was being played by the DJ. It was one of the songs that Jeno had showed him, meaning it left such a big impact on his heart. He doesn't know what to do, does he accept Jeno's offer and let him explain? Or does he continue the rest of his high school career pretending that Jeno doesn't exist, leaving many questions unanswered.
Panic starts to fill Donghyuck as he looks around to see if anyone had noticed him and Jeno together. It would cause a bunch of talk, considering that fact that they were both pretty popular and that teenagers loved to start rumors.
He notices Jaemin as he spots Jeno from across the room, by the way Jaemin is walking towards them he can tell that he was looking for Jeno himself, clearly unhappy and very confused where he found him. He glances back at the entrance for a split second before looking towards the direction that his two friends had gone off in, only to see them walking back towards him, just as confused as Jaemin is. He can see the concern rise in Renjun once he sees who Donghyuck is with, as he grabs Chenle's arm to drag him across the makeshift dance floor that their school has created, where Chenle had decided to stop to talk to a few friends.
He looks back towards the entrance and to his luck he sees you and Jisung walk in. Thankful, he lets out a sigh of relief because he sees that you're here and that you're safe. He notices the smile that you have on your face and though he was a bit far away he can tell it's a genuine smile, like one of the one's you would show him when it was just you two hanging out. "I guess I worried for nothing." He thinks to himself, as he watches you two skip in, hands intertwined.
And amongst all this commotion happening at once, his ex, out of all people had to come up to him and ask him a question he knew he wouldn't be able to answer. So what does he do? He panics, of course.
"Oh my fucking god.." Donghyuck mumbles to no one in particular. Jeno seems to hear it but he doesn't process it because he's too busy being dragged by Donghyuck who was attempting to blend in with the big group of people who happened to pass by.
When Renjun, Chenle, and Jaemin end up where Donghyuck and Jeno were previously standing they're left more confused on where the two went. Though it's loud, Donghyuck manages to pick out Renjun's voice yell "What the fuck?" over a crowd of teenagers.
Donghyuck smiles to himself, knowing that he successfully got away. He didn't think it'd work, he'd only seen it in movies before and you know what people say, it's just movie magic after all.
"Where are we going?" Jeno asks innocently.
"Outside." Donghyuck responds, leading their way towards the "exit" sign on the other side of the gymnasium.
"Why?" Jeno asks once more, and Donghyuck turns around just to shoot him a glare.
"So no one. fucking. sees us." He grits through his teeth.
Needless to say, Jeno doesn't ask any more questions after that.
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"Where is everyone?" You ask Jisung through the fit of giggles you let out.
"I dunno. Jeno isn't answering his phone so I'll call Jaemin, yeah?" He responds, just as giddy as you are.
"Oh, I was talking about Renjun, Chenle, and Hyuck."
"You can hang with us for a bit!" Jisung insists.
"I know but I haven't seen them all day." You pout. "I'll hang out with you after!! Besides, they're my best friends after all. How would you feel if I took you away from Jeno and Jaemin?"
"My dear you're allowed to do that any day of the week. I like you better than them anyways." He teases.
"Oh shut up. You know what I meant." You snort. "Can we just go find them please?"
"Yeah, hold on- Hi Jaemin!" Jisung says through his phone. "What? Sorry.. I can't really hear you. Is that Renjun? Why is he yelling at you?"
Your ears perk up hearing the name of your friend leave Jisung's mouth. "Renjun?" You ask, looking at him curious. "Are they okay?"
Jisung nods at you while trying to hear what Jaemin has to say, it's hard considering the fact that there's not only loud music coming from his phone speakers but the voice of an angry boy as well, and to add onto that, the same music being played just a couple feet away from you.
Pouting, you look at him. Jisung can tell you're worried about your friends by the way that your pupils shake as he pulls you into another tight hug, hoping to ease a bit of the worry.
From then you can kind of make out the conversation on the phone, it's something about Jeno and Donghyuck being together then suddenly disappearing out of thin air, like a magic trick.
"Where are you?" Jisung asks.
"We're in one of the back corners." Jaemin yells through his phone. "The uhh.. One on the right, your left."
"Okay. We're on our way." Jisung says before hanging up.
"I guess our night of fun had to end somewhere." He tells you before you two head further into the gymnasium to meet up with your friends.
Once you meet up with the three boys you're greeted with a hug from Chenle while you watch as Renjun and Jaemin argue.
"So they were right here?" You ask tapping Renjun's shoulder.
"Yeah. And then all of a sudden they disappeared." He says, quite frantically.
"Y'know worrying isn't going to do anything." Jaemin taunts.
"Yeah! And you making snarky comments doesn't help either!" Renjun shoots back.
"Can you two stop bickering a second?" Chenle snaps, surprising all of you. "We have no idea where the fuck they went and for the past five minutes all you two have done is argue? Why haven't we checked anywhere yet?"
"Because, Lele. They could be anywhere. We're in a room full of teenagers." Renjun states.
"For once, I agree with this one." Jaemin adds on, earning a glare from Renjun and a facepalm from Jisung.
"Okay? And? Have you ever thought about the fact that they could y'know, be outside?" Chenle asks.
"Why would they be outside?" You ask.
"Because it's loud in here, and it looked like they wanted to talk."
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"So.." Jeno says, swinging his legs back and forth. He was currently seated on top of one of the picnic tables your school had, while Donghyuck was standing across from him, leaning against the corner of a wall.
"You said you would explain, so explain." Donghyuck states.
Jeno takes a deep breath as he stops swinging his legs, he looks at the ground before looking up towards Donghyuck who was already looking at him, clearly annoyed at the fact that Jeno was stalling.
"It was a dare." He starts, before Donghyuck cuts him off.
"Yes I know. We all know." He spits.
"But theres more." Jeno says once again. "As you know, Jisung dared me to ask you out and me, being the asshole I was back then, I agreed and decided to do so.." He pauses for a second. Trying to think of what to say next.
"Listen are you gonna keep stopping or are you going to tell the story?" Donghyuck comments, it's only been two minutes and he's already fed up with Jeno's bullshit.
"I am. I'm just trying to think about the right words to say."
"Why? So that I can fall back in love with you?"
"No, Hyuckie-"
"I said, don't call me that."
"Why?"
"Because Jeno!" Donghyuck yells, voice cracking as he tries to control the same tears from earlier from falling. "I am still in love with you! Each time I hear you say that stupid nickname my heart does leaps and I can't fucking stop it!"
His voice is loud enough for you to figure out where he is, and while the other students outside look around trying to find out what's going on, both you and Renjun take off running towards the sound of Donghyuck's voice.
Arriving in time to hear Donghyuck finish the last words of his sentence he can't tell if he's hurt or if he's relieved to see you. A sense of relief washes over him once he spots you, Renjun, and Chenle running in his direction. But then he sees Jisung and Jaemin, not that far behind you three, and he feels hurt, betrayed to say the most.
"So this is why you asked me, huh?" He scoffs, looking at Jeno with glossy eyes. "So you and your friends can get a little more enjoyment of my misery."
"Hyuckie- I-" Jeno starts.
"Save it. I don't ever want to hear from you again, Jeno. I can't believe I even believed you would tell me the truth."
Nothing more is said as Donghyuck walks away from all of you, and Jaemin and Jisung run towards Jeno. It's quiet, despite there being the sounds of the muffled music that's only being played from a hallway away, it feels like a horror movie with the unsettling silence between all of you.
Renjun is the first one to talk. His voice not only startles you, but grabs the attention of Jeno, Jisung, and Jaemin who happened to be a few feet in front of you.
"What the fuck happened?" He asks, looking at Jeno in the eye.
"I wanted to tell him that I'm sorry.. and that I missed things the way they were.." Jeno says, voice barely above a whisper.
Both you and Chenle can tell that Renjun is about to start yelling and if someone doesn't stop him now then fists will be thrown. Renjun is about to start talking again when Chenle interupts him.
"Junnie." He says softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's not worth it. Let's just go find Hyuck, okay?" He eases.
Renjun takes a second to sigh and relaxes before deciding to head off with Chenle, he know's it'll only make things worse but he really wants to tell the three boys off and possibly throw a punch or two. "It's okay.." Chenle coos at him.
"Y/n, are you coming?" He asks, looking back at you.
"Uhh.. Yeah. Just give me a second. I'll meet up with you in a bit, okay? Just text me where you are." You say quickly before glancing over at Jeno and his crew.
Chenle looks at you, confused on why you were looking at Jeno. It only takes him a second to realize what you were doing before he walks off with a hesitant nod. "Um.. Okay.. Just uh, don't be long. I know Hyuck wanted to see you."
"Thanks Lele. You're the best." You say, before talking off towards Jeno.
"Lee Jeno." You state, standing where Donghyuck previously was. You earn a few glances from Jisung and Jaemin, ask if they were asking each other why you were here and how long you've been there. It's not because they were doing anything bad or wrong, it's because of the fact that they were caught being nice and genuine to one of their friends, something that barely anyone has seen before.
"Y/n." Jeno sniffs, trying his best to wipe away the tears that had managed to leak out. "What are- What are you doing here?"
"Save it." You say, walking towards him. You push Jaemin away as you take a seat on top of the table next to him. It earns you a glare from Jaemin, but you shrug it off and ignore him once he start's complaining that you stole his spot.
"Just- Just tell me everything." You sigh, awaiting a response from the boy next to you.
Jaemin shoots you another look before Jisung walks away with him, knowing this should be a private conversation. They don't go far though, just out of earshot.
"This is my fault." He starts. "If I just continued letting him hate me, then I wouldn't have hurt him like that.."
"It's not your fault, you just wanted to explain things. Do you want to tell me what you were going to tell him? Or is that too personal?" You ask.
Jeno is hesitant to answer. His first initial thought is no, but as the seconds go by his answer changes to yes.
"Start from the top. What happened?" You ask.
You're gentle, and being patient with him. It's something that he's thankful for. It's also something that reminds him of Donghyuck, because whenever the two of them had disagreements Donghyuck would always wait for Jeno to explain, this was the first time he hadn't.
"Okay well.." Jeno sniffs. "If you didn't already know.. Donghyuck and I used to date. Our relationship started off from a dare but as our months together passed by I began to enjoy his company a little bit more. I don't know what it was, and if you asked me I wouldn't be able to tell you but there was just something about him that I ended up liking. Maybe it's the way that his hair flopped on his face each time he ran up to me, or maybe it's because of how tightly he hugged me and how gentle his kisses were, but it was something." He pauses for a second, reliving through a few memories. "I ended up catching feelings.. and as soon as I figured out that I did, he found out how we got together."
"Oh." You sigh, not looking at him.
"I was going to tell him that I meant everything I told him.. All the 'I love you's' and the 'You look beautiful's' but he just wouldn't let me talk.. And then you guys came and that just- that only made things worse.. and now- god.. now he's gone. He said he never wants to see me again."
"I'm sorry, Jeno. It's my fault." You say softly, taking all the blame. "I'm the one who brought everyone here, if it weren't for me then you probably would be talking to him right now."
"It's okay." He reassures. "It's not your fault.. You just wanted to help your friend. I'm sure it would've gone poorly even if you weren't here."
"I doubt that's true."
"Are you kidding me y/n? He hates me! And he the worst part of it is that he has every right to do so.."
"I didn't know people who hated each other confess to each other about still liking one another." You joke, hoping to earn a laugh from Jeno. "Besides, it's not like you won't see each other again. You still have time to make things better, plus you have me on your side."
"My side?" Jeno asks.
"Well yeah. You still like him don't you?"
Jeno sighs, he's lucky you aren't paying that much attention to him because if you did you would've noticed the way he looked at Jisung and how it hurt him more to let you keep going on like this. Nonetheless he lets it happen and he wonders if he really does deserve your help.
"You're too good, y/n."
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anime-shipper22 · 3 years
Text
I know y’all have been wanting this...haha probably not! But here it is Anyways!!!
Domestic Violence
Pt.7
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Domestic Violence
Chapter 7: A mess, is what I am
Reggie awoke to the sound of what sounded like the tv breaking. He sighed and checked his phone, 6:16. He huffed and sat up, opening his curtain just enough to get the tinted night skylight in his room.
He heard muffled screaming, not really caring what it was about at this point. Well, he stopped caring years ago but that's beside the point. He threw the already ruffled bedsheets off his legs and shivered at the sudden coldness.
He walked to his...dresser seemed like a stretched...more like a tattered, broken, beaten up, small, bookshelf. Better than a box, so he doesn't really care. He looked at Luke's clothes he had folded up and packed in a nice, not fancy, cardboard box.
      He washed them, at the laundry mat like usual, and was planning on giving them back...but they just made him safe. At home. Luke and Alex were the only families he had. Sure, Julie, Flynn, Willie, and possibly Nick, were his friends but not family title worth.
      He decided on just a regular red and black plaided shirt, white muscle shirt, black ripped jeans, and his usual black boots.
     After he got dressed he used the reflection of his black screen and sighed when he saw the bruises faded. Not 100% but you'd only see them if you were looking for them, so he didn't have to worry.
    He unplugged his phone from his charger and slid it into his back pocket. He grabbed his neatly wrapped- surprise- corded headphones and placed them in the pocket with his phone.
      He grabbed his lanyard, just the keys to the restaurant and auditorium on it. He was a smart kid and trustworthy. But, also, the auditorium was its building so...you couldn't steal anything anyways.
     Unless of course, you brought a truck and someone who knew how to disable every one-centimeter wide screw and unhook all the wires without short-circuiting and causing a fire. So...pretty much pointless.
     He latched his book bag over his shoulder and walked out of his room.
     "You have no right to hang out with other men," his father shouted. "Like you would care!  You don't care about anyone but yourself! Heck," she scoffed, "I don't even think you care about yourself!"
     Reggie felt a sudden tug on his book bag and his back hit the ground. Yay, he thought sarcastically. "You can't mouth me like that," he shouted back. "I can do what I damn well please," she shouted back.
      He closed his eyes at the contact. Even if it was practically a daily thing, it still hurt. He learned, after the first few times, that if he made any noise, it'd be worse. So, no matter how much he wanted to scream and shout, wince in pain, he couldn't.
     Kick after kick. Word afterword. For Reggie, it seemed as if only minutes had passed by, but by the time they moved to argue somewhere else, about something else, he got up and ran.
     He ran out the door, ignoring the annoying sound his backpack zippers made. Or the enormous amount of pain coursing through his body. Or the tears streaming down his face.
     Luke looked up from his phone, and all he saw was Reggie running fast. He took out his earbuds, not caring if they got tangled, and shoved them and his phone into his pocket.
     "Reggie! Reggie what happened! Reggie slow down!"
     He was going to surprise him by walking to school with him, but guess he was running to school today.
     Music. Luke. All he needed right now was music and Luke. The only place he knew he could go, was the school. The auditorium to be more precise.
      Writing a song always helped him clear his thoughts, at least a little.
     He fumbled around with the keys, being hard enough with shaky hands and blurry vision.
     Luke could hear his shoes hitting the concrete almost as if he was listening to them through headphones they were so loud.
     The school. That's where Reggie was, he knew it. He also figured out the man is incredibly fast.
     By the time he caught up, he saw a glimpse of Reggie entering through the side doors.  He huffed and forced his aching ankles to speed up.
     Reggie threw his book bag on the stage, and it slid slightly before stopping. He took a deep breath and sat at Julie's piano. He opened the top and placed his hands on the keys, and began to play.
♪This isn't easy
I don't know or what to feel
Keeping busy
It does the job but it doesn't heal
My mind is a fire
And I'm burning love away
It's getting harder to feel
And all he says... ♪
     "Reg," Luke stopped suddenly and slowly walked up to the stage, "...gie?"
      He ignored how he felt his heartbreak while he was playing. He ignored the fact this was true. He ignored the fact his life was crumbling faster than crackers. And just continued to play.
♪You need to take care of yourself
But he doesn't know how it feels to be broken
I can't help it, I feel numb
I wait for the waves to leave and come
I'm think...
I'm breaking
I'm a mess in the making
I'm a mess in the making ♪
     Luke swallowed harshly and gripped the curtain as tightly as he could.
♪I'm getting tired
Of the same old feeling in my chest
I'm not a liar
But Ive got secrets I have to hide
Don't say you love me...cause I won't understand those words
Because no one understands my words... ♪
     Reggie paused momentarily letting tears fall from his eyelids. "Luke," he whispered.
      Luke's eyes widened, he wanted to move. To hug him. To hold him, still. But his feet wouldn't move.
♪You need to know how special you are
But he doesn't know how it feels to be broken
I can't help it, I can't feel
I wait for the waves to leave and come
I'm thinking
I'm breaking
I'm a mess in the making
I'm a mess in the making♪
♪I'm holding on to a tight rope
And I'm not going home
Hurting, searching
I'm not coming home♪
♪This isn't easy
I don't know how to feel
Keeping busy
It does the job but it doesn't heal♪
When the last note rang out Luke's feet suddenly became unstuck. Not being able to stop himself, he threw his book bag down and ran towards Reggie.
Before Reggie could even register the sudden loud noise as he felt a pair of arms wrap around him.
He tensed.
Was Luke crying too? Great. That means he's been there long enough.
"Luke-..."
"No," Luke stopped him, "Don't say anything. Don't say any-...just please don't." He felt that uncomfortably large lump in his throat as he cried.
He shouldn't have let Reggie go home yesterday. He shouldn't have let him go to work. He should've just pulled Reggie back on the couch and not let him go.
He blames himself. Why wouldn't he? It was his fault.
"I'm sorry. I'm so damn sorry. God, it doesn't feel right. Sorry, can even express how I feel. Why," he whispered, "Why didn't you just tell me? I could've helped. I could try to understand. Please."
"Luke...that song it just...it didn't mean anything," Reggie said. He was trying to play it off as an accident, "I heard it somewhere else."
"Don't, Reggie. I saw them. I saw the bruises. Don't try to play it off," Luke whispered. Reggie could feel his heartbeat speed up, "W-when?" "Saturday night," he replied.
That would explain a lot.
     Once again, Reggie felt tears sting his eyelids. "I never wanted you to know. I'm sorry you found out," Reggie chocked out. Luke shifted and sat beside Reggie on the bench.
He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. He rested his head on Reggie's shoulder and gently took his hand into his.
"Don't apologize for something like that," he whispered after a long minute. "Please," Reggie begged, "Don't pity me. I'd never come back from it if you did."
"Pity," Luke questioned, "No. I could never pity you. You're amazing in so many ways, that if I did I'd hate myself." Reggie smiled sadly, they were staring at each other in the reflection of the piano.
Luke brought their hands up, turning it to where the back of Reggie's hand was facing him.
"Have you ever tried opening it yet, Alex," Julie asked? "Uhm," he said. Julie sighed and opened the door. "It was open the entire time," she shouted. Alex shrugged him, Flynn and Nick walking in behind her.
"I swear, those two better have a good reason for...being...late."
"What's wrong," Alex asked, walking up beside her. She said nothing and just pointed to the stage. Alex followed her finger and they all stared.
"Is that a good enough reason for you," Flynn whispered. Julie glared at her, "We should...go do the homework none of us did over the weekend." They all nodded and slowly exited.
Julie placed their instruments down as they left.
He placed a gentle kiss on the back of Reggie's hand and sighed. His tears had calmed down, but he still felt bad.
Reggie couldn't stop the blush on his cheeks from that, whether it was an appropriate situation or not, he didn't care at the moment.
He moved their hands onto his lower thigh and just sat there. He didn't exactly know what to say. But....he did know what to ask.
"Can I see them," he asked. Reggie tensed and Luke was afraid he crossed a very visible line. But, when Reggie relaxed so did he.
Reggie nodded and untucked his fingers and they both turned to face each other. Reggie took a deep breath and began to shake.
Luke cupped his cheek and gave him a reassuring smile, "It's okay if you don't want to. I'll understand." Reggie shook his head and, without words placed his hand over Luke's, silently telling him it was okay.
Luke nodded and removed his hand. Reggie slowly removed his red plaided shirt, cringing from the pain. He went to remove his undershirt shirt and hesitated. He glanced up at Luke who was already staring.
If this was any other situation, and he wasn't covered in bruises, he'd probably be blushing madly.
     But, sadly, the only blush on his face was from embarrassment. No one else has ever seen them before. Well, to his knowledge Anyway.
      He took off his shirt and just sat there. His gaze was focused on his hands and nothing else. His mind, however, was on Luke.
     Luke tensed, what he saw that night was only a glimpse compared to what it actually looked like. He gulped and scooted closer. He reached his hand out, hovering it over one of his bruises, and looked at him, "Can I?"
     Without saying anything, Reggie nodded. Luke gently placed a hand over one of them; Reggie winced. "Are you okay," he asked. Reggie nodded, "That's...just from this morning. It hurts more than the others, is all."
     Luke gulped and ghosted his fingers down his side. "Reggie...I...there aren't words," he whispered. "Than don't say anything," Reggie whispered.
     Luke used his free hand and placed two fingers under Reggie's chin lifting his head up. "Will you talk to me? Help me understand because I want to. More than anything," Luke said.
     Reggie, once again, felt tears in his eye, this was a very emotional rollercoaster for him. "I just...I don't know-how. It's not your problem and I don't want to make it your problem," he said.
     Luke smiled sadly at him and caressed his cheek, "Than don't talk. But don't hide it from me. Please, Reggie, I'm begging you." Reggie closed his eyes and leaned into the touch.
      When he opened his eyes moments later deep ocean blue met a dark forest green. Reggie simply nodded, "Okay."
     Luke leaned in and rested their foreheads together. "Okay. That's all I need right now. Thank you," he smiled. Reggie chuckled, "For what?" "Being strong enough to show me," Luke smiled.
     "Well, in that case...thanks for not pitying me," Reggie smiled. Luke laughed, "Of course."
     It was silent. Not an awkward silence, but comfortable silence.
      But Luke just couldn't keep his mind, or eyes, on anything else except Reggie's lips. Of course, now of all times, it had to be.
      If he were to kiss him right now so many things could happen. Reggie could be disgusted, grab his stuff, and leave. Reggie could think it just out of pity. Or simply nothing, which was probably worse than those two.
      But, to Luke, the kiss would symbolize more than just expressing his feeling towards the slightly younger male. It would be a way of telling him, without words, everything was going to be okay. To silently tell him, he has Luke and always will.
     So, he took a deep breath and went in for it.
13 notes · View notes
2o2o-kit · 3 years
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An American’s Thoughts on Horrible Histories Songs
Born 2 Rule: Iconic, really set the stage for Horrible Histories, not my favorite George III song though that prize goes to Hamilton, (also I was always taught George III was mad in an angry way)
Wives of Henry VIII: This song walked so Six can run, still iconic
Making a Mummy: Kind of forgettable, but if we are going by the pattern as seen in the first two, I predict the next big history musical will be about making mummies
The Tudors: I don’t know why but I love this song’s intro, but I find the dance moves cringe worthy
Georgian Lady: It’s great when you can read along to it, but Martha is still iconic
I’m a Knight: I love the whole Monty Python inspiration, this always makes me smile, just pure wholesome knight energy, one of my favorite season 1 songs
Caveman Love: It gets better the more you listen to it
It’s Not True: Probably my least favorite Horrible Histories song, still better than most songs on the radio
The Plague: The plague was made for musical theatre, besides this check out Spamalot and Something Rotten
British Things: Drags on a bit, but haha Britain, you are not perfect, (but America is far from perfect)
We are Greek: It’s king boring, but lyrics are still pretty clever
Burke and Hare: I’m not a fan of this TBH, maybe it’s because I’m not a huge fan of true crime and stuff like that, it’s not that catchy either
Literally: Nothing like an 80s rock parody, it’s also one of the funniest songs
Charles II: This was the first HH song I listened to and I’m glad, because it’s a banger, and this is probably the closest you will get to a kid friendly Eminem
Spartan Musical: This is so camp and just you have to watch to understand
WWII Girls: Katy Wix needs to be in more songs, I love the costumes in this
George IV: I’m obsessed with this one, Jim’s vocals in this are perfection, definitely one of my favorite of the whole series, I wish I could belt like that
Blackbeard: The acting in this is perfection, I still laugh while watching it
Victorian inventions: I’m not a big fan of this type of music, but it’s still funny
Hieroglyphics: Idk why Mat did a Texas accent, and I’m not sure but it’s not bad, but it’s not as great as the other songs
Cowboys: The accents are good but I could go without all the farts
Boudicca: This is an inspiration
Funky Monks: I’m not a big fan of this one, it’s funny but I wish they had more singing in this, but Terry is great as always
Pachacuti: At first I was bit nervous to watch it because of the brown face, and yes it’s in there and I also thought it would be too cheesy but that’s the point and makes it so much fun, also what’s a northern accent
Dick Turpin: For most people it’s the guyliner that makes this a thirst trap, for me it’s all the tricorn hats 😍. When I first watched this video I recently developed my tricorn fetish and this song was just... The music to this is great too, I listen to this daily. And imagine me learning that this thirst trap’s name is Dick
Monarchs: Iconic, super helpful, now I can name all the English monarchs, thanks
William Wallace: Better than Braveheart, seems like a lot of fun to film
Work! Terrible Work: Hey look theatre reference, this so is definitely not a mood booster, but those sideburns (and I’m not really into sideburns)
Ra ra Cleopatra: Martha is killing it, and I love all the Lady Gaga references
Richard III: Thanks for talking about the horrors of Tudor Propaganda and the lyrics in this are amazing
Evil Emperors: If you claim your bad, don’t make such a catchy song that can easily be confused as another thirst trap, love the parody and Caligula and Nero and some of my favorite HH characters
Suffragettes: This song proved how hard these ladies worked, also I want to sing this song with others, who’s in?
Ain’t Stain Alive: Okay just like Pachacuti, I’m sure this song can’t work today, but it’s great, so catchy and the screams, also the behind the scenes of this is iconic
Age of Stone: I like how it explains the time periods but I’m not really a big fan of how it was presented
English Civil War: The choreography is on point, Lawry needed to be in more songs and I love the song they parodied, it’s Cool from West Side Story
Celtic Boast Battle: I don’t know, I find it a bit too much but the ending is perfection
RAF Pilots: Now I’m not big on war history, epically WWII, but song is perfection, I love the coloring used for this, the music is just awesome, and this along with The Captain from Ghosts and Molly McIntire are proving the WWII is gay
Nature Selection: I’ve been using this phrase a lot during the pandemic,
The Thinkers: Alright, no strong opinions
It’s a New World: A jam, love the shade of how the pilgrims treated the natives, and it’s a great parody altogether, also I need a New New Castle now
Mary Seacole: So catchy I love it, and the dancing is great. I wish they didn’t cut out that one lyric about Florence because that’s important
Victoria and Albert: It’s kind of slow, but I can see why others like it, maybe it’s just because I’m alone
Blue Blooded Blues: I don’t really like Blues music, even though I’ve lived in cities known for their blues, but James Cape™️, GAAAYYYY!!!
The Luddites: Definitely one of my favorites, I love the cinematography, the costumes are my type, and nothing like historical heavy metal, ironic right, and Jim has the vocal range
The Borgia Family: I love everything about this, the music, the accents, costumes, this is better than the Showtime series, wish Ben got a solo in this song though, (also is it just me or do the Borgias remind you of the Trumps expect the Borgias are more like able)
Mary I: It’s okay, Sarah in this is great and it’s a great parody but I always thought of Mary having a deeper voice (I know weird)
William Shakespeare and the Quills: I love Shakespeare, but I’m not a big fan of this type of music, also I low key wish Shakespeare was sexy in this one
Georgian Navy: Please forgive my star spangled ass, but I’m not a fan of the British military during the Georgian era, and yes I know Nelson didn’t really fight in the American Revolution, but I’m not a big fan of war history
Flame: Will get stuck in your head, but who cares it’s an awesome parody, Jesse Owens in amazing, we love Jim’s Nero, and Mat you said you were all nude (I feel cheated)
Death’s Favorite Things: Hilarious, and a mood for me
Rosa Parks: Now Rosa’s story is something we get drilled in our heads in America, which is good, this song is so catchy and I love the costumes, but the ending did say ‘segregation was ended in America,’ but technically...
Vikings and Garfunkel: Aww so peaceful,
Charles Dickens: I love the music on this and the cinematograph, but there is something about it that I’m not a big fan of it, but I’m not sure what
Crassus Minted: A freaking underrated banger, just like the real Crassus
Joan of Arc: I’m sorry but this song is a bit cringe worthy but still way better than the new seasons
Alexander the Great: I mean is there any other song that can truly depict Alex
Owain Glynwr: Wish they had more Welsh history on the show but Tom Jones parody I never knew I needed
Transportation: The dancing in this is amaze, and I’m obsessed with Ben’s accent in this, how is his Midwestern accent better than mine, and I have a Midwestern accent, (stop making me like Henry Ford!) and I love whenever they do musical parodies
Henry VII: This song makes me want to be Henry VII, he made the monarchy great again
Matilda Stephen and Henry: There are more ABBA references in this than a production of Mamma Mia, and it’s brilliant,
Australia: I’m surprised they got away with saying Hellhole in this, but still very catchy, low key wish Thomas sang this in Ghosts
Cousins: It’s silly and I like it
Love Rats: Lyrics make me want to remain single, video is having me crush on actors that are old enough to be my parents
Final: Supersweet, but I can only watch it once because it makes me emotional
35 notes · View notes
dear-yandere · 3 years
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—ask collection!
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a collection of mostly very old chats and sweet asks that i never got around to answering! thanks for the patience and love!! 
beware, fairly long post... woops....
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chat asks.
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darling: Eu-jin is best boy. Change my mind.
vanya: i am physically incapable of fulfilling that request, how dare you do that to me... i’m biased since he’s my own oc, but i would die for my (very best) boy eu-jin... who can resist such a gentle yandere that loves you so whole-heartedly?
that reminds me! he’s actually based off of kuroyuki and gekkamaru from the otome nightshade, so if you want similar characters by any chance, do check them and the game out ♡
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darling: I was watching the dub for Part 5 of JoJo's Bizarre adventure yesterday...Mista called himself Daddy and I like- sdfghjfgsdhnhnmj!! My heart can't take this--
vanya: WAIT HE DID???? i’m not even big on daddy kink and reading that made me go 😳 this is vital information to know... what episode was this??? for research purposes, of course. gotta perfect my yan! mista, after all~...
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darling: for yandere songs, have you heard of the major to minor covers by chase holfelder :O? the way he delivers the lyrics in some songs (betty, all i want for christmas), added with the key changes to minor, is really fantastic, and gives a stalker-ish vibe imo! and he's a really good singer in general
vanya: i have!! a good chunk of them are actually on my personal yandere playlist, so i end up hearing them frequently when i’m writing!! i haven’t been keeping up with his uploads recently, so ‘betty’ is completely new to me and just, wow???????????? this man is an absolute god send for us “romantic” horror fans... ♡
this ask gave me such a lovely idea, though, darling: assigning yandere types/mbti based off each of chase’s minor key covers. i think i’ll do that just for you. ♡
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darling @blossomiich​: I reread some of your old character interaction asks and saw the one with Jotaro hugging his Darling after a panic attack and the elephant seal plush reminded me of the iconic C H O N K Y ringed seal plushie that was kinda trending and I can totally imagine Jotaro having one of those >w< that's so adorable!
vanya: i honestly don’t remember that interaction, but then again i don’t remember most things hmghng so i looked it up and
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j...just imagine star plat hogging it and not letting joot cuddle with it 🥺 the duality of man...thank you for this cute image...
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darling: Umm, sorry for asking this. I'm just curious because of your bio language in your header. Are you Chinese too, perhaps?
vanya: no worries!! i’m mixed guyanese (indian, chinese, & possibly black and/or portuguese), but my family only celebrates (or rather, acknowledges?) our indian descent, since the majority of our family is predominantly east indian. 
my header is actually a quote from a danmei novel (and one of my all-time favorite fandoms), tiān guān cì fú (heaven’s official blessing)!
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darling genki stan anon: Omg you're writing for free now, i didn't expect that one lol. It's a cute show innit? Not a nagi stan but I feel like nagisa has that kinda unsnapped personality that would make him peak delusional yandere material lolol like oikawa but less threatening and without his head being up his own ass 😂. Hope you're doing well!! -gsa
Gdjsjs im such a fool, i think my last ask said something about not thinking you'd write for free when i literally just pointed out kisumi on your sideblog LMAO my bad 😅 😂 also ill hold back on the gen chan requests because ive already asked so many in the past! Thank you though 🥺. Also feel free not to post this, it can just dip into my onesided chats with my lil flower 💐 so long as you receive them im fine 😌 -genki stan anon
vanya: nagisa isn’t my favorite (kisumi is), but gods if he wouldn’t make a great yandere. honestly, out of the iwatobi boys, nagi is probably the most unhinged. i wouldn’t peg him as delusional, at least not at first; i think he’s very lucid and knows exactly what he wants and how to manipulate people in order to get it!!! kisumi is fairly similar now that i think about it... i might... have a type...
please feel free to send in gen-chan requests whenever you want!!!! i’m kinda super asocial, so it’ll take me a while to answer, but i love getting asks from you since you’re so sweet and excitable!!! your little flower reads and cherishes them all!! 🥺
also darling genki stan anon: Sorry for spamming you with asks hdjkdks, u dont even need to reply im just kinda brain empty venting here whether you recieve them or not 😂 i just needed to confess that while yes i am #1 gen simp, and he is undoubtedly my fave oc of yours but that Ilya tentacle smut had me very much so highkey kinda 👀, had to re read the genki oral style drabble to bring my head back. He dont even need to worry about luca bc that man a thot. I think therin is a thot too but like lowkey, a classy thót -gsa
vanya: omg i’ve kept this one for forever mnmghngh i might’ve even answered at some other point, now that i think about it... but i just 🥺 gosh i hope i find my muse soon, because i really wanna write you a genki fic 🥺 hhhh
the ilya tentacle smut was so in character for that boy... i have no clue how to write monsters, much less tentacles, but i’d honestly do anything for him 🙏 kinky russian boy...
therin is definitely a classy thot, the kind that only bangs the finest concubines then turns around and slut shames you for banging the very same prostitutes gbfmngnfg rules don’t apply to him, in his kingdom...wish that were me tbh ✊😔
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sweet asks.
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darling one: i've read almost all of your dazai and chuuya fics and i love them so much!! your formatting is also super aesthetic just a question, i saw on your kofi that you also draw so i was wondering if you drew all the header arts?? bc they're all super pretty :) have a great day!
darling two: Just wanted to say love the writing and the way your format your posts is so aesthetically pleasing. One day I hope my posts looks half as good as yours because I legit can't get over how pretty and organized it looks.
vanya: omg thank you so much!!!! one of my bffs, yue, is to thank for the formatting and aesthetic choices, really! if you wanna see more of her aesthetic formats and posts, she actually runs a few blogs! you may know her as @milkscafe​, formally @milkaaton! i adore her and her aes choices so much 🥺
as for the headers, i don’t draw 99.98% of them! i have drawn a couple, but they’re so few and far in between since i almost never finish my art wips haha... my older posts are lacking proper credits because i’m an absolute idiot, but i’m slowly working my way backwards to credit them all where possible! they’re all indeed super pretty!!!
have a great day yourself, my love!!
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darling: THEY’RE NOT BAD CONTENT, I LOVE THEM ALL
vanya: this was in response to a now-deleted lil blurb but i kept it in my inbox because i wanted to say i love u very much and seeing this ask each time i open my inbox makes my heart skip a beat ♡
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darling: Listen I love your writing, you inspired me to start it myself! I've always loved to write, and read of course but your style and concepts just stick with me. If you where to write something besides Yandere content/fandom content and started your own series? I would read the shit, out of it. I'm always nervous to interact with my favorite writers because you know, I'm afraid of the impression I'd leave but I just wanted to say this anyway! 💞💞💞🔫😳
vanya: wowowow fgfnmgnfmngfg that’s such a high compliment my brain just gmfnbgmnf go boom fogjfngnfg and thank you for the interaction, us writers truly appreciate it no matter how awkward or nervous you think you may be / come off!!!
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darling one: As a writer, your post struck a nerve with me. I don’t send feedback to writers I like nearly as much as I should (and certainly not as much as I’d like in return as a writer). So, as such, I’m going to start doing that when I can, starting with you.
You are an incredible writer. You were one of the first yandere writing blogs I found and you’re still one I check in on regularly to see what you have been working on. You can portray a sense of suspense and intrigue in a natural way that many other writers - published ones included - struggle with. You delve into the darkness without it feeling forced, and you have an amazing grasp on the psyches of the characters you write for (which is a quality I adore in writing and strive toward myself).
I’m not great at ending these things so I guess.. you keep doing you? Because the you is great and I appreciate it.
darling two:  hey. i'm here to tell you that from the bottom of my heart i love you and your writings. i really admire your writing skills. you inspire me. one of your posts once saved me from a nervous breakdown. thank you for everything you do. you're a wonderful person. good luck!
darling three: I wanted to tell you that thank you for writing such wonderful beautiful writings and that you take time to edit and write I hope you are taking care of yourself 💖❤
darling four: Thanks. I was having a hard time and deleted all my apps, but as soon as i opened my phone my first instinct was to look at your blog and i got my motivation back. Thanks (:
darling five: Hi ! I just wanted to say I really enjoy the stories you write and how they are detailed so well ! Stay safe and I hope you have a good day/night ! ლ(╹◡╹ლ)
vanya: ahhhh, these are very old asks mostly dating back to my “tumblr writing community is dying” post, and i’ve kept them this entire time because i’m just so starstruck. i have no clue how to reply to compliments, so i’m not sure what else to say besides that these asks made me very happy and got me through a few insecure moments!!! i’ve actually been feeling a little down about my writing recently, mostly because of lack of motivation / inspiration, so revisiting these really warmed my heart, so thank you truly ♡ i’m certainly keeping the originals in my inbox until the end of time!!
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darling @monstrously-obsessed: psst, this local cryptic mom thing send all of their love for you 💕
vanya: your local herbo says she loves you very much momster 🥺 mwah
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also, to the anon worried about my safety:
thank you so much for pointing that out!!! it hadn’t even crossed my mind when i made those ocs, so i appreciate your concern! i was contemplating revamping those two as is, so this is a great place to start! thank you again!!
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9 notes · View notes
x-lulu · 3 years
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gurl 1-99 I dare you😄
haha no if that's too much just 1, 2, 24, 32, 77, 85, 95
well I finally answered them all babe, took me a week haha 💗
1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? world away by tonight alive, you give love a bad name by bon jovi, amnesia by five seconds of summer, had enough by lower than atlantis, take it out on me by thousand foot krutch, if I could fly by one direction, I just named the first that popped in my head
2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? YOU
3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17? a wind came in off the harbour, bringing the smell of the sea
4: What do you think about most? I’m an overthinker with anxiety so yeah I think about everything a lot, so I wouldn’t know what I think about most
5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? just an okay haha
6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? with, an oversized shirt and underwear
7: What’s your strangest talent? latin maybe?
8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence) I don’t know rock? I’m not really the kind of person that puts a gender in things
9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? uhm I don’t think so, now I feel unimportant haha
10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? I’m more an using a hairbrush as a microphone kind of girl
11: Do you have any strange phobias? probably, I’m scared of a lot of things
12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? don’t think so
13: What’s your religion? officially I’m Christian, I’m a bit searching for what I believe in tho, I do believe in jezus but not like walking on water and coming back from the death, I might believe in the Greek gods and nature gods
14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? enjoying the fresh air, going for a walk/ride and look at cute animals
15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind
16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? even if you kill me I don’t know what band to say
17: What was the last lie you told? I lied about not being sad
18: Do you believe in karma? I don’t know, sometimes, but like there are people who’ve done terrible things, where is their karma?
19: What does your URL mean? it’s just my nickname, I didn’t want to make it fandom related because I’m a multi fandom and I didn’t want to have to change my url a lot, I also didn’t want to put my real name because I don’t want people to find me who I know in real life haha
20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? my insecurity is my greatest weakness I think, I don’t know my greatest strength... maybe being a person who people feel loved and welcome by? Idk if people feel that way and idk if it’s a strength. If I’m gonna be poetic I have to say my greatest weakness and strength are both that I love someone with my whole heart, when I start loving you, I love you so much, I would do anything for you, but when someone fucks up, I’ll still love them even tho they don’t deserve it, so that comes with a lot of pain so yeah a weakness and a strength
21: Who is your celebrity crush? rudy pankow and dylan obrien
22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? yes
23: How do you vent your anger? I keep everything to myself till I explode and start screaming
24: Do you have a collection of anything? music records, stones and just memories from places I’ve been to
25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? neither? If I’m comfortable I do enjoy video chatting especially in times like these where you can’t speak in real life
26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? this is hard one, I’ve never been happy with who I am, I do like me better than who I used to be
27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? sound I love is when you’re walking trough the woods just the birds, can’t think of one I hate, I definitely have some they just don’t come to mind rn
28: What’s your biggest “what if”? what if I keep going through and it doesn’t get better
29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes and yes/maybe
30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. my laptop and my pillow
31: Smell the air. What do you smell? flowers
32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? xanten
33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? uhm west coast? Idk haha
34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? harry styles is the first one that pops in my head
35: To you, what is the meaning of life? to find love, can be someone something, experience things that make you happy, enjoy it, learn, better the world
36: Define Art. creating something, it can have a meaning but it also can’t, a lot of people give it a deep meaning, which can be it, I just think art doesn’t always have to be deep are spectacular it can be someone making something because they have so much going in their head and they find peace in creating art and get inspired by their own experience, people also can it just do for fun, there are so many different kind of art and artists, I don’t think it can’t be defined
37: Do you believe in luck? I don’t know
38: What’s the weather like right now? rainy
39: What time is it? 9:54 pm
40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? no licence
41: What was the last book you read? a fanfic on Wattpad fight or flight by ffsumth
42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? yes 🙈
43: Do you have any nicknames? lu and lulu obviously, loesje , samantha, pinguïn, polar bear, you called me lulu bear hehe
44: What was the last film you saw? I don’t remember...
45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? uhm ive broken a few things, my toes and my arm, but nothing really bad actually
46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? no, I don’t want to, I have seen some really close, they’re beautiful
47: Do you have any obsessions right now? again you haha, but like all the stuff I post on here are my obsessions
48: What’s your sexual orientation? I don’t know, I think straight, but I don’t know for sure
49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? yeah
50: Do you believe in magic? I’m not certain, maybe I do :) I do live by the saying ‘just because you haven’t seen it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist’
51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? sadly yes, like I won’t be mean to you or anything, but I will never ever trust you again, if I’m hurt I’m hurt and sadly I haven’t found a way yet to leave it behind, so I’m feeling a lot of pain and I’m never gonna forget that pain, so yeah...
52: What is your astrological sign? capricorn
53: Do you save money or spend it? uhm both? depends on how I feel and what time of the year it is, I have the bad habit to save it for a few months and then spend a lot of it
54: What’s the last thing you purchased? a apple pen so I can start trying digital art
55: Love or lust? love
56: In a relationship? with you hehe
57: How many relationships have you had? none official relationships, I’m just not lovable okay leave me alone haha
58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? no oops
59: Where were you yesterday? home, school, therapy
60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? a pillow
61: Are you wearing socks right now? no
62: What’s your favourite animal? polar bears
63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? no idea haha, I don’t have one
64: Where is your best friend? at home, like 20min away
65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr. this is hard so I’m just gonna name the first five that come in my head @nxsmss @rafej-cambanks @thegreatestofheck @chrlsgillespie @nedleed
66: What is your heritage? I don’t know 🤷‍♀️
67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? sleeping, I had to get up early today
68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? never thought about it
69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? no
70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Is it bad to say yes? I mean I hate myself but I do think I’m a good friend
71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? save the dog obviously!!!!
72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? I think I would tell people, I’m not sure, but like so have people got the time to say goodbye the way they want to, I would travel the world I think, do everything on my bucket list, maybe some illegal stuff 🙈 (where no one gets hurt tho obviously), I don’t think I would be afraid... I mean I’m suicidal, I’ve literally been connected to death my whole life, if you understand what I mean
73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. uhm trust I think? If I would have love but don’t have trust I wouldn’t really feel loved anyway, I do really want to experience how it feels like to be loved tho...
74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? the first song that came to mind is love my life by Robbie Williams, I rarely listen to it, but the lyrics really gives a boost of happiness and confidence
75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 51 54
76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? loyalty and trust, you don’t have to agree on everything or be interested in the same things, you do have to be there for each other
77: How can I win your heart? YOU ALREADY HAVE
78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? yes I think so
79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? to get dogs
80: What size shoes do you wear? uhm 38 eu, 4,5 uk and 7 us
81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? a loving ... I hope to be a loving daughter, friend, wife and mother, someone who was always there for others
82: What is your favourite word? fuck haha, no idk but that is definitely a word I use a lot
83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. pain....
84: What is a saying you say a lot? enjoy the little things
85: What’s the last song you listened to? ignorance by paramore
86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? uhm I do love black, I also like pastels and like a turquoise kind of colour
87: What is your current desktop picture? me and my friend
88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? no one, there are a lot of people who did wrong, the need to be in jail, but I’m not saying someone deserves to die
89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? what goes on in my head, how I’m feeling
90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? scream probably haha
91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? teleportation, I would travel the world haha
92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? when I was in Ireland by the cliffs of moher
93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? uhm this is a hard one, maybe seeing my father almost dying? (he is okay btw, we were lucky), I’ve had nightmares and anxiety ever since
94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? I find this so weird to say for some reason... if I have to give a name it would be harry styles I think, because damn look at that man, but I don’t know, I would rather be friends with him than sleep with him tbh, I know you can do both haha, but idk I’m not like yes I want to sleep with him haha, I think I’ve read too many fanfics about him that I would find it awkward
95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? ice land or canada
96: Do you have any relatives in jail? don’t think so, not close ones anyway
97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? no, I got out in time haha
98: Ever been on a plane? yes, when I went on a trip to georgia in west asia
99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? you’re all ignorant assholes haha, no idk what I would say, there are a lot of good people on this world I know, but man there is some fucked up shit, so maybe I would educate some people or it would have something to do with mental health, maybe about loving yourself or that it’s not a sign of weakness and that we should be treated as equals to physical pain, we should be taken seriously... I don’t really know, there are so many things haha
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Debuff Zane Build
i am tired of not seeing this build in all the zane build videos i watch so im sharing it here because its stupid fun bc u run fast and kill faster. it’s not meta, but its fun as fuck and u have a lot of damage and survivability with it. I’ve completed M4 Slaughter Shaft with it- haven’t tried on M10 yet but i have faith. p.s its 4 am pls have mercy if there’s spelling mistakes.
what ur gonna need is a band of sitorak, zheitseiv’s eruption, a seein’ dead, and the piss grenade. everything else is fair game, whatever u want. try to get it to have the sntl cryo anoint bc good. but u must have the 4 main items for this to work perfectly (it also somewhat works with a low level Frozen Heart bc best shield in the game but you will die a lot more)
also i need a fucking name for this build help
oh god oh fuck i forgot i was playing through the handsome jackpot dlc again
oki im ready to party
this is my current loadout
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sometimes i switch the reg Q-System for a kaoson or a nighthawkin if i need ammo (OP QSystem is... OP but not as fun as a tracking grenade QSystem so i don’t care for it) and maybe the brainstormer for a reflux if many shielded enemies (i prefer the brainstormer over the reflux atm. so try for a brainstormer!!)
3rd slot, that’s a monarch which used to be a dictator b4 it got a straight upgrade. I actually don’t use the bipod unless im in a boss fight and don’t need to move fast. usually violent momentum and violent violence cover the dps loss
ur first 3 gun slots honestly don’t matter much. I have my reasons for using them, but you can use whatever u want i think, so long as its a strong weapon (bc unfortunately a lot of weapons are not scaled for m10). u dont HAVE to use the monarch or the Q system or the brainstormer. I recommend them, cuz theyre fun, but u don’t gotta if u wanna swap em out for a a kaoson or a yellowcake or a sandhawk or smth
the last gun is my zheitsev’s eruption. This bad boy, when u reload, shoots out homing balls of debuffery. So every enemy that gets hit with these gets a debuff. I have tried this with the needler but I prefer Zheitsev’s bc it can hit more enemies and once and takes less time. this gun only goes to Blane (ur clone). 
for the skill trees we have no points in under cover even tho brainfreeze is the best skill in the gaaaaame
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explanations: 
really the hitman tree is p self explanatory, u wanna go fast as fuck boiii. My band of sitorak does not have the +15 movespeed while zoomer is active anoint (it has the break shield amp anoint, which is p okay. want movespeed, but a nice human from the reddit gave me this sitorak so i didn’t have to farm). u want drone delivery bc Blane will NOT be throwing grenades. If you try to make him throw grenades with the seein’ dead he will ONLY throw grenades and never fire his gun, meaning he’ll never reload. it’s a nightmare. anyway. u want the piss grenade (ideally with the +25% damage on thrown anoint). im not looking forward to regrinding this when they finally mayhem buff grenades.
we put one point into playing dirty because we want those extra shots and honestly with the amount of times seein’ dead can proc ur kill skills you’ll have it more often than not
we also have points in good misfortune for that sweet sweet uptime (which btw can be infinite using the brainstormer/reflux bc it is essentially a redistributor without the need for ur barrier) the monarch/dictator also does it justice
for Blane u DON’T WANT praemuntis. we want blane reloading as often as gotdamn possible. now unfortunately my seein’ dead gave me a +weapon mag size roll (im actually not sure if this affects blane, but im assuming it does) but it does have the amazing +5 donnybrook so I’m taking it anyway. I am so not looking forward to regrinding a good class mod when they finally release action skill buffs for them. i cri. i actually hear 3 points in donnybrook and 2 in violent violence is p good (or 1 in violent violence 1 in playin dirty) so maybe grinding won’t be so bad. maybe i’ll finally get a +weapon damage roll
u can grab 1 point in ducttape mod and put 4 points into borrowed time if you want. it doesn’t really matter. i current have 5 in borrowed time and 3 in pocket full of grenades (for some reason??? usually i only put 2 in.). U can do that and use those extra points for either ducttape mod or more points in playing dirty. 
u NEED quick breather. This skill has a STUPID interaction with the band of sitorak shield because of how quickly it recharges. I’m talking, the instant you swap with Blane, you have full shields and so does he. It’s dumb, I love it. Use it to get out of trouble.
so im probably gonna need to explain why i have 3 points in trick of the light: im a cryo slut. That’s it. put those wherever you want, just make sure you can get Double Barrel. i’ve seen builds where people actually go for brainfreeze, i might try that next time i respec.
Double barrel will make it so blane can use the zheitsev’s eruption and debuff your enemies for you. it’s worth it.
so the augments u want are these:
SCHADENFREUDE. because band of sitorak has such a tiny capacity, ur shield is constantly up. If its not, it’s constantly breaking from full capacity. this does have a fun effect with the amp shield break anoint, but mainly i like it for the 25% damage buff whenever it breaks. its a tradeoff for damage, ur constantly swapping between max shields and more damage, so its actually p constant survivability and damage over the long run.
i grab doppelbanger bc blane sometimes gets stuck in the floor and/or i don’t feel like running all the way back. i wouldn’t recommend getting which one’s real or digital distribution only bc u want him alive as much as possible. u can also get binary system instead of doppelbanger, its up to you
for Zoomer u want bad dose for the movement speed and (sometimes) static field (only if the enemies have shields). this is so if blane goes down or he isn’t taking damage, zoomer can refill ur shields. if the enemies won’t have shields usually i grab winter’s drone or boomsday depending on how i feel.
im actually gonna try to see if i can’t grab brain freeze. hang on. i know trick of the light is frowned upon for most people so lemme just respec. (im sorry i just love the vibes it gives me it’s like HAHA you thought that was me? no!!! boop. and then they’re ice sculptures and man i love h2o i wish emma had frozen more people the only people she really freezes are Greg and Miriam and honestly she doesn’t even kill Greg smh. (Greg is dr denman’s assistant. greg is highkey god.) I do like what she did to Mirami, the fucking implications that YES these teenage girls ARE powerful enough to instakill people, they just don’t out of the kindness of their hearts. Rikki was badass that episode too. actually i love the episode where rikki almost boils a dude alive for making a fool of her with ILLEGAL F I S H and burns people using steam from a pipe. rikki is my favorite mermaid- she knew what was u p. I wish mako mermaids was as badass as h2o was. and the cartoon. god imagine the cartoon violence. sigh. let them use their op superpowers to be SUPERHEROES. like in h2o au i have baron flynt puppeteer people to their deaths from Thor bc he has cleo’s powers like why couldn’t she do that to someone. Like dr denman “lmao bye bitch” or even charlotte (who imho wasn’t bad until cleo started being rude to her. cleo was 100% at fault that season). it wouldn’t have killed her!!! ... instantly. probably. ive never seen avatar in full but i did watch the blood bending episode as a child and as i understand it that’s frowned upon but hey. CAN BELLA TURN PEOPLE INTO JELLY?? harry potter 🅱oneless arms... my god.)
anyway, respeccing. 
there goes all my money. rip.
so i think im gonna have to live with the slower reload speed (sob) but yes u can in fact get brain freeze with this build. lemme show...
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so ye in the event u just can’t live without freezing people (i know the feeling) feel free to do this. imma play with this for a bit and see if i can live with slower reload. I actually depend on the 100% cryo with zoomer active for all my cryo damage. i also use an ice breaker so they freeze fairly easy (but only on mobs. on bosses u want the snowdrift or something else)
this build isn’t really meta and u might have trouble doing a solo run of true takedown on m10... bc its true takedown on m10, but honestly it’s fun as F U C K. you CAN do it, but it’s not no thoughts head empty like barrier-redistrubutor/yellowcake zane can be so u gotta be on TOP of ur SHIT. i love it. running around killing stuff. it’s fun. i also love teleporting. it’s my FAVORITE THING. I STILL GET GIDDY OVER IT BECAUSE IT’S SO FUN. ask my friends, they will tell you, sometimes i’ll just start gushing over how much fun it is to teleport even though i’ve played zane since release. just. GFDGHKJGDFK so much fun. i just... b o o p. god i love this game. i took a break to play assassin’s creed odyssey (fun sneaky beaky game, pretty awful dialogue) so DAMN i missed this. 
here’s a link to a video I took on athenas (my favorite area to run. it’s this game’s bloodshot stronghold!) this is the playlist i listen to while playing Zane. i keep swapping songs during play bc sometimes they don’t fit my vibe or i get tired of them lol (spotify control is hooked to my 4th and 5th mouse buttons so i don’t have to stop playing) i forgot where my shock sandhawk was in my inventory, is what i use to demolish traunt. i was so scared i threw it in my bank earlier on sanc-iii lol (also yes i still slap blane’s ass. it’s to encourage him to kill)
and here’s a link to the save + everything I had on me at the moment (including the stuff i picked up in the vid in case u want it lol) cuz im lazy and don’t feel like clearing out my inventory. some of these are only m4-9. which ones? it is a mystery. you’ll know when the new update releases ;) (no but actually im so hype for mayhem level on the item cards. finally. FINALLY!!!)
why is this video taking so long to upload. hynnnggggg
oh god is that the sun
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rosesanthology · 4 years
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Not as Bad as i thought | Matsukawa Issei x reader
Okay so i've been thinking about this scenario for a WHILE now and im,,,,,not mad at how it turned out ? Lmao y'all see for yourselves
- songs :  • savage remix by Megan Thee Stallion feat Beyonce
                 • kimi no nawa theme song
- weather association au : dusk (i dont even know if that's seen as a weather but oh well-)
[Tags] : @raevaioli asked sooooo👀 @haikoo
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- you weren't really sure how long you've been walking for
- you tried to recall the events from today with much difficulty as you strolled on the sideway at 4pm, still in school uniform but much messier than when you first got out of the house this morning, backpack lazily thrown over your left shoulder
- "and there goes a perfectly good weekend" you sighed, not talking to anyone in particular but yourself or maybe the occasional stray cat
- your house wasn't even close to the way you were going and you couldn't care less
- your phone had data anyway you could just search your way back in google maps (`ε´)
- plus it's not like you walked across the whole country and you already called your mom to make up some excuse
- "we'll talk when you get back." She had told you over the phone , you were pretty sure that the school had informed her of what happened
- thinking about it made you sick to your stomach so you opted on just focusing on how much of an anime MC vibe you were giving off right now instead !!!
- i mean, basically running away after school to go on unplanned walks with a messy uniform while listening to the new savage remix by Megan and Beyonce ???? Pretty badass ngl (◡︿◡✿)
- if only your balance wasn't -2/10 then maybe you could even skateboard and act like you were in an indie movie
- but back to the matter at hand
- the anger swelled up inside you as you started to think over what had happened
- you were in the midst of a chemistry class and you had been paired up with none other than your toxic ex who made you feel like crap for the most random stuff
- you were literally just vibing trying to adjust the microscope and he just HAD to shove you out of the way because, allegedly, you "didn't know how to do it", causing you to back into another girl's test tubes and bunsen burner !!!
- WORSE IS THAT THAT GIRL STARTED YELLING AT YOU FOR RUINING HER WORK !!!! like damn it's not your fault
- luckily the teacher was kind enough to aknowledge your apology and scold the girl for yelling but still !!! You were angry !! (⋋▂⋌)
- so angry that you may....have started crying in class just cause beating the living hell out of your ex was just not something you could do and not get at least detention for-
- the embarassment of it all had caused you to storm out of the school at the first chance you had, not wanting to murder your ex or anybody else if they made any comments
- you were taken out of your internal turmoil in the middle of the sidewalk by the smell of the sea and well,,,,,the sight that was literally right in front of you
- not to be sappy or basic or anything but a good sunset never failed to make your heart go doki doki from the pretty colors(●´ω`●)
- you didn't even notice time passing or the sky painting itself like that
- weird huh
- what a world we live in
- anyway you truly felt like things were meant to be at the moment you set foot on the soft sand (you'd have taken of your shoes if it wasn't for your socks preventing you from it)
- in this moment of awe you stuffed your phone and earbuds in your bag and made a run for the water !!!! Excited to see the cute riples of foam closer !!!
- and then you fell.
- FACE FIRST IN THE SAND BABY
- and you would have been fine if it wasnt for the loud sound of someone SNORTING AND CACKLING BEHIND YOU LIKE ?????
- FIRST OF ALL YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE ALONE ????
- AND WHO TF DARED ???
- THE GUY DIDNT EVEN HELP YOU HE JUST CAME UP TO YOU AND LET OUT A
- "Damn ive never seen anyone so eager to bite the dust !" And then laughed again !!
- ●︿●
- thats where it dawned upon you that this guy was one of the third years from your school's male volleyballl team !!!! If you remember correctly his name was Matsukawa Issei but did it really matter ???
- it was someone from school who was laughing at you ???? You Y/N L/N
- the embarassment came crashing onto you like the waves on the shore and in a second you were sobbing
 - the hot tears were rolling down your cheeks at high speed and you swore you heard Mattsun gulp when be realised what was going on
- "w-wait sorry...i didn't mean to make you cry" he didn't really know what to do so his hands were just hanging in the air as he knelt down in front of you
- ⋋_⋌ you mustered up the energy to glare at him thru your glossy eyes but really it looked as intimidating as a hamster- haha what no, the middle blocker's heart totally did NOT skip a beat with the pouty hamster + sunset color palette combination !!!! Not that you'd notice anyway
- instead of kneeling there awkwardly he opted for picking up your backpack before sitting next to you, putting his knees up to his chest and staring at anywhere but your very embarassed self
- "i really mean it you know ? Sorry for making you cry..." MATSUKAWA ISSEI STOP BEING A SIMP FOR SOMEONE YOU JUST MET CHALLENGE YOUR SUN PISCES IS SHOWING KING
- "its not entirely your fault...." you managed to say between hiccups, "ive kinda had like....a really really bad day"
- ".....i see" i sEe HeAdAsS you should have thought about it before laughing at Y/N like that !!!
- after that you didn't really know what to do
- i mean yeah grabbing your bag, flipping him off and then going back home sounded like a tight plan but at the same time,,,,,the sound of the waves was calming and the sun was pretty   (●´ω`●)
- and little did you know that as you were too focused looking absolutly enamored with the sun itself Mattsun was looking at you trying to think about how the hell he was going to keep the conversation and the vibes going when you're just sitting there looking like THAT
- it was like that one scene in Kimi no Nawa when Taki and Mitsuba see each other for the first time sodjdisnakaka
- except that he was the only one staring but that didn't really phase him
- "you know-" ah here it comes
- he started talking so he'd have to go thru with it until the end
- he weirdly enough did NOT want you to turn to look at him because he knew that if you did the words would get caught up in his throat and- oh no you did
- oop the sand looks very interesting all of a sudden wow :0
- "you know when i have a bad day i usually come to sit here and watch the sunset"
- "okay and ?"
- GOSH Y/N LET HIM SPEAK PLEASE HE'S HAVING A HARD TIME
- "and it feels nice....like today for example, i just lost a volleyball match against some other school, Karasu-whatever you probably don't care but....after living such a hard loss it feels nice to look at the sky painted in all these colors you know ? Plus you don't have to talk so it's great it's as if you were on top of the world-"
- he was cut off by the sound of your laugh
- "ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME ???"
- as you struggled to catch your breath you looked at him and smiled
- "you know you're not as bad as i thought !"
- huh
- you were definitely something :\
- spiking the ball right thru Matsukawa's chest and straight to his heart
- "My name's Y/N L/N im a 2nd year ! also don't worry i wasn't making fun of you at all i just can't believe that you exposed your simp card so proudly to someone you BARELY know"
- "well i felt bad because-"
- "it's cute (▰˘◡˘▰)"
- OH.
- MY MANZ WAS AT A LOSS OF WORD
- WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT MAKING FUN OF A GIRL FALLING WAS ALL IT TOOK TO MAKE HIS DAY A 100 TIMES BETTER
- HE WOULD HAVE TO TELL MAKKI ABOUT THIS ASAP
- you snapped him out of his daze by pointing out that your mom would be worried if you walked alone to your house at night
- "sooooo is it my cue to walk you home ?" smooth recovery from him, you must admit
- "should we get boba on the way ?" You said standing up and dusting your shirt
- "you bet."
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